the-seas-incarnadine

[the-seas-incarnadine]

Hey Bones. In the vein of the class traitor question, what do you do when you've been a repeatedly nasty, abusive person? The best way I can explain it is "abusive victimhood".

I am currently on a process of learning about myself, about my ancestors, about trauma and abuse, spirituality and mindfulness, and making amends . Because of that I'm now in a place where I act the best and kindest I can, but on the inside I have a cacophony of completely opposite thoughts I can't quieten. I feel like a fraud. Not helped by being autistic + the masking I do anyway as a woc in white environments .

My concern is that even when I'm genuinely trying , my inner voice is still just so nasty and abusive towards others. Sometimes to the point of contradicting how i actually feel (eg care curiosity, compassion, neutrality) I genuinely don't understand that one.

What do you do when.you know you've made the wrong choices- but you also fear that there's something inherent in you that you can't beat , to authentically make the right choices ?

this is why I like parts work.

I love that inner asshole victim demon. it’s always on my side and it knows once it draws blood very few people will have the marrow to keep fighting. it talks like the women I love and respect most because it is them: for some it’s all I have left of them. it is a beloved relic of a much more terrible time. adulthood continues to mean cultivating more inner demons to surround it and weigh in on the decisions it makes. it hates that. it finds it very difficult to continue controlling the narrative and intruding into my interactions with others. it still chimes in, it still muscles others aside and dashes in to protect me on occasion, but only sometimes, not all the time. since I’m not under any pressure to pretend I’m a consistent or singular unit of Person, I know that my other inner selves will drift in and out and intercede as needed the more I work on giving them power and voice.

much love to your asshole victim. It will never abandon you and it will always come running when you are in very great need. this is a very rare and treasured quality for a person to have. someone like that needs a great many friends.

[the-seas-incarnadine]

Google search how to reset the body's score counter. Google average score kept by body. Body score counting rigged site:reddit.com

[the-seas-incarnadine]

[the-seas-incarnadine]

[the-seas-incarnadine]

if my doctors name was house i would wanna know his first name before he does any surgery on me. what if its haunted

[the-seas-incarnadine]

GIRL HELP I AM UNDERGOING MITOSIS

[the-seas-incarnadine]

[the-seas-incarnadine]

actually I find it quite electra simple

[the-seas-incarnadine]

tumblr is lowkey so good because you can hack your way through mobs of the tortured dead and never run out of blood with which to purify your blade

[the-seas-incarnadine]

[the-seas-incarnadine]

you really should quit. (soulsov)

[the-seas-incarnadine]

you hear they're bridging the gap between our perceptions and experience of the world today. i guess we'll all have to see how we feel about it

[the-seas-incarnadine]

It's Wet Beast Wednesday

[the-seas-incarnadine]

My vision

[the-seas-incarnadine]

original by @play-now-my-lord