#This LITERALLY happened to me at rehearsals today

[agent-calivide]

Phoenix, walking into a room and seeing Handler and Prism talking: *waves*

Handler: Oh, Agent! We were just talking about you-

Prism: YOU'RE TWENTY TWO?!

Phoenix, baffled: Uh... yes?

Prism: You're a baby! You can't even rent a car on your own!

Phoenix: I can't???

Handler: Well, at least you can drink.

[princesscallyie]

It’s seem like I can’t escape the “people don’t want to come to work so now I gotta do their mess” shenanigans…

[kislnd]

jumper - arthurtv~

synopsis: a simple gesture from arthur has the chance to turn his and y/n's relationship into something much greater. notes: literally procrastinated everything else so hard by writing this but it's fine i ❤️ mr television warnings: none word count: 1.9k

masterlist

ping. y/n's eyes flickered to the notification that had just come down. having just come home from a shift that had felt a year long, she wasn't sure if she was in the mood for social interaction but, after mentally preparing to make some kind of lame excuse to whoever it was, she clicked on it.

"getting together at mine, you should come." it read. it was from chris, one of y/n's long time friends - they had worked together for a few years before y/n decided it was time for her to make a career change. seeing it was from him lifted her mood slightly, she knew she would be in for a good time, especially assuming the other boys would be there. they were all both equally stupid and entertaining and despite how drained she felt, she thought this might be the pick me up she needed. she typed out a quick reply, despite hardly being able to keep her eyes open from tiredness and changed into different clothes, at this point she wasn't bothered what, anything would be preferable to her work clothes. luckily for her, chris didn't live far, it was easily a few minutes walk that she was grateful for. maybe the cold evening air will wake me up a little, she thought.

//

y/n approaches the front door and raises her arm to knock, but before her knuckle could make contact with the door, it swung open to reveal chris. "took you ten minutes exactly," he grins, referencing the text she had sent him in reply. "i am a woman of my word." she smiles and steps into the house, a flood of warmth rushing over her body. shouts could be heard from the living room, but this wasn't to y/n's surprise. "football?" she raises her eyebrow in the direction of chris, "yeah, it's an important match today." y/n didn't have the faintest idea who was playing, if it was a final or some other major tournament that would go down in football history. "i'd suggest some paracetamol for your head if you plan on staying for more than a couple of hours," he jokes, waiting for y/n to slip her shoes off before making their way into the living room.

like any time there was a match on, the boys were crunched up together on the sofa, staring intently at the tv. y/n wasn't even sure if they were aware chris had left and come back with an extra person. "hello to you all too," y/n giggles at their complete focus on the game. at this everyone turned towards her at the same time and greeted her, but of course, they were all talking over each other so it just came out like a garbled mess of noise. "that was a bit freaky," she laughs, "did you rehearse that turn?"

"there isn't a single reality where i could get them to cooperate with me like that," george grins up at y/n from the couch, "so no, definitely not." she notices arthur roll his eyes playfully at george's remark and smiles herself. "you know, y/n has really poor knowledge of football-" chris quips, sitting himself down on the couch, but is interrupted by y/n defending herself, "that was slightly unwarranted, was it not?" she quirks her eyebrow at him. "am i wrong?" he laughs, "i mean, you don't even know what is happening today, do you?"

"god forbid i don't memorise the league table or what friendlies are happening," y/n throws her arms up jokingly in defense. "maybe she should watch and learn then?" arthur sighs in exasperation and tries his best to shuffle over on the couch to make space for y/n but naturally, there was no moving the others. the room did have more seating but this particular sofa had the best view of the television hence why everyone was piled there. "be realistic arthur." george glances at him and smiles at his attempts to shove everyone, "we can't all fit on here."

"maybe if you could try to move over even slightly?" y/n moves closer to them and tries to shuffle her hips into the small gap arthur managed to create, but with no avail. she was half on the sliver of couch and half on top of arthur's leg. "oh, sorry," she gets up quickly and smiles at him before shooting chris a pleading look, "can you stop taking the piss now so i don't have to crush poor arthur?" without saying anything, arthur, arthur, george and chris moved closer to each other, making sure there was adequate space for y/n to fit into.

she sunk down into the couch, grateful that the others had obliged - it was by far the most comfortable piece of furniture in the flat. with half time of the match over, the others were fixated on the television once again. y/n felt her eyelids grow heavy and was far too tired to fight sleep once again, so she laid back and shut her eyes for a moment to recharge.

//

"shut the fuck up!" the familiar voice hisses at the others, "y/n is literally sleeping,"

"not anymore," she mumbles, not even bothering to open her eyes. "now look what you've done, you've woken her up," the voice, that y/n could now tell was arthur, scolded the others. "yeah, i can see that now thanks," george replies, "sorry y/n," he adds. by now y/n was awake fully and aware of the goings-on, to be honest she felt like she needed to be woken up anyway so it didn't bother her.

suddenly, a rush of cold air hit her, goosebumps forming on her arms. she couldn't tell if it was actually freezing in the room or if since she had just woken up, everything felt extra cold. "is it cold in here or is it me?" y/n asks the others, who were just on their phones or engaged in meaningless conversation. "i'm alright." chris shrugs and the others agree, "yeah it's a good temperature in here."

y/n huddles on the sofa for a couple of minutes, thinking of something she could use to warm herself up especially since the heating was already definitely on. she couldn't see any blankets in the living room but she didn't want to go searching around the house, because that would be rude. luckily, chris noticed her shivering, "hey, if you want you can grab one of my jumpers from upstairs," he tells her. before y/n even had a chance to reply, arthur interjects.

"you can have mine," he says, matter-of-factly but then grimaces slightly. "i mean to save your legs," he pauses, trying to figure out how to downplay such a forward gesture, "it would be so annoying to try and fit you back onto the sofa, because we would definitely take up your space," george and chris mock offended looks, and y/n giggles. arthur felt his face turn slightly red but the room was only illuminated by the soft glow of the television so, much to his relief the others couldn't tell.

"oh okay, sure," she smiles, looking up at arthur, who didn't reply and simply pulled the jumper over his head and let it flop down onto y/n's lap. "thanks," she grins, eagerly pulling it over her own head. "no problem." arthur smiles back, pleased he had worn a t-shirt under it this time. it was perfectly oversized and so warm from arthur's body that y/n almost felt herself falling asleep all over again.

"comfy there?" george jokes, looking up from his phone to see y/n's shape nestled in the corner of the couch with her arms folded over her chest. "very much so, no thanks to you," she says cheekily, "i could sleep again."

"you can rest on me if you want," arthur says, only glancing at her for a split second and with less urgency than last time. "thanks," y/n says, resting her head on his shoulder.

//

"huh?" y/n's eyes flicker open, "what time is it?" she asks the room, hoping someone will reply. "it's about to turn midnight," chris says, having a quick look at his lock screen. "oh no," she groans, "i was hoping to get back home earlier," she sighs, every task she needed to do flooding back into her memory. "i've got to get going," she says, standing up from the couch. "i'm coming with," arthur says sternly.

"what? why?" y/n couldn't hide the fact she was slightly taken aback by his determined tone.

"you really think i'd let you walk alone in the dark?" he pulls a confused expression.

"no, seriously, i'll be fine, don't bother yourself" she protests, he had already let her borrow his jumper and she didn't want to inconvenience him further. "i'm coming with you and that's final," he folds his arms, and then stands up from the sofa as well, "it's not safe." y/n sighs, he was clearly set on coming and she couldn't particularly be bothered to argue with him, "if you're sure." she shrugs.

they said their goodbyes to the others, who were already home, and set out into the night. the sky was actually clear for london, the moon and stars were perfectly visible and casting a gentle glow across it.

soon after, they arrived at y/n's front door, "thanks for walking back with me," she feels her face heating up slightly at his gesture. quickly, she turned towards the door and slid the key into the lock. he won't have noticed, it's dark anyway. she affirms in her mind. "any time," he smiles back, "oh, and, aren't you forgetting something?" he smirks. "oh god yeah," she starts to pull the jumper off over her head. "woah, woah, i was joking, it looks better on you anyway," arthur wiggles his eyebrows jokingly, but reaches out to pull the jumper back down properly over her.

"arthur, i can't just keep it," y/n's eyes widen, "aren't you cold right now? i don't want you to be ill." she was genuinely worried, sure, it was hardly a winter night but it wasn't mild either. "no no, don't worry," he gives her a warm smile, "it's quite nice out here." y/n wasn't convinced and she knew he would only continue to insist he was fine but nevertheless she felt it was right to ask again, "are you sure? like are you sure you're sure?" she giggles.

"yes," he smirks, "and i'll be back to collect it if that's a worry," y/n's mouth falls open in shock at his sudden surge of confidence, "is that right?" she raises her eyebrow at him. "if you'll have me," he laughs, "maybe even as soon as tomorrow night?"

"wow very smooth arthur," y/n laughs, she was beginning to question if any of this was really happening, was she about to accept a date with her best friend's best friend? yes, yes she was. she couldn't deny she had always thought he was really handsome, this was not an opportunity she could pass up, "you have my number." arthur smiles widely, eyes gleaming from excitement, "that's right. i will follow up with more details then," y/n giggles and nods, "see you tomorrow then arthur."

"goodnight y/n." he grins and turns to walk down the path, she waits for him to be out of sight before letting herself in. tomorrow couldn't come any faster.

[na0koz]

Reader trying to breakup with jinx? And what jinx does?

toxic!jinx masterlist

ooo it would not go well.

you ask jinx to meet up with the intentions of breaking things off with her. you don’t think there’s ever been a time where she’s said no to hanging out so you know it’s going to happen today.

as well as this, you know she’s not going to take it well, so you opt for her to come to your apartment, rather than having her embarrass you in public.

when she arrives, you lead her to sit down on the couch and take a deep breath.

“i feel like we shouldn’t see each other anymore.” best to just get straight to the point with jinx.

she stares at you for a second. this was not part of her plan. it was one of the few aspects of your relationship where jinx didn’t have a rehearsed conversation. she panics.

“what? what are you talking about? why? you’re being stupid right now.”

you sigh out the breath you took, “i just feel like you’re taking over my life, jinx. we literally hang out every single day, i never see any of my other friends and i’m even falling behind in my classes. it’s not good for me, and it can’t be good for you either.”

jinx feels angry tears brimming in her eyes but that’s not her concern right now.

“what? we don’t hang out every day. we’ve only met up twice this week.”

it was thursday. the fourth day of the week.

“you’re just overwhelming me. i’m sorry, and i do love you jinx. i just can’t do this anymore.”

you start to feel bad, maybe even a little scared. you know jinx is obsessive and you’re a bit nervous to see what she’s going to do.

jinx pauses. she really starts to freak out now.

“you… no..you can’t break up with me. i love you too much. are you cheating on me? is there someone else you want more than me?”

“what?! no, jinx. i’m not cheating on you,” you can see how much she’s panicking in her eyes. you need to calm her down before her panic translates to anger.

she has nothing to say, for once.

you apologise again.

she sounds like she’s going to cry now, “we can just.. hang out less. please don’t break up with me, [name]. if you want to see me less then that’s fine but please.. don’t.”

you sigh and you know that there’s not going to be many other ways around it.

“okay. we’ll just hang out less.”

jinx lets out a breath like she’s been holding it in since she got here.

“thank you, baby. i’m sorry,” she hastily wipes the tears that escaped her eyes. “i’m gonna go home. i love you.”

she stands up and sees herself out.

“love you too,” you murmur as she shuts your front door behind her.

you can’t say you didn’t see something like that coming.

jinx on the other hand, starts hyperventilating once the door clicks shut. she cannot, under any circumstances, lose you. you are literally the best thing to happen to her in her life.

at least you agreed with her compromise.

see, you may think you’re seeing jinx less, and you are, but she’s seeing you a whole lot more. she ups the ante on her following you. she can’t help but be a little suspicious that someone else is trying to take her place by your side.

so really, not much changes. you didn’t break up, and jinx somehow manages to get even more obsessed with you. whoops.

[mylifestylearedilfs]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ joost klein x singer!reader ࿐ྂ

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ESPRESSO : fluff ; imagine ; all is fictional ; joost is such a babygirl here ; english is not my first language

, , ,

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ WHEN JURY ANNOUNCED YOU as a representation of your country, you couldn’t be happier. since your childhood, you were a fan of eurovision, only because you loved the idea that every country could show off their culture, beautiful language etc. you weren’t the most extrovert, so the thought of being filmed almost every second, having to take part in those interviews— which most of the time wasn’t even that necessary — stressed you out.

but someone decided to send you a literal angels, every contestant were just amazing, helping you with stress before performing at pre-parties. but your main partners in crime were nemo, bambie, your two baby girls marcus & martinus and your favourite person in this world — joost klein.

they all were your shoulders to cry on. you even created a group chat for your little eurovision gang. and let me say, you cried a lot during some pre-parties, both from laughing & crying. you couldn’t believe that you met that beautiful and amazing people, you were super grateful for that.

, , ,

today was the last pre-party before semi-finals, for you personally it was also a very important event, because you wanted to create a bond with your audience, and all the music parties before real contest were a must. that’s why you wanted everything to be perfect about your performance. but then you were woke up by a sharp pain in your throat, you started to panic immediately. when you tried to sang whatever song you had in mind in that moment, all you could hear was rasp voice and in this circumstance it wasn’t this sexy type of rasp.

as you walked into cafeteria, where almost every contestant were eating breakfast before rehearsals. when you saw bambie & nemo a big smile appears on your face. even if your mood were dead today, they will always make you smile no matter what. with loud sigh you sat down at the table, saying quick ‘hello’

“hi babe, what happened to your precious voice?” bambie asked and you just hided your face in your hands.

“i guess i just screamed too much at your performances and now my voice said bye bye everyone” you joked and they just laughed, but then nemo sat down next to you and bring you to side hug.

“so you won’t be performing today?” bambie asked with worry tone, they knew how much you wanted to take part in every single evening.

“did i heard something about no performing?” you heard well known voice and second later you felt his hands on your shoulders.

“our little singer is mute for today unfortunately” bambie said, as joost sat next to you.

“i don’t even want to hear about this, of course you will perform” he said with such a lightness in his voice, and everyone else send him questionable looks.

“but i barely speak, there’s no way i can sing today” joost just laughed at your comment.

“who said anything about singing, honey?” after seeing more confused looks, he just added “you will see, now let’s eat” he clapped his hands and took some fruit out of nemo’s plate.

, , ,

right now you finally were on last pre-party, the atmosphere was fantastic as always. everyone was getting ready to show, without that much stress as at the beginning of this project. you admired how people that were shy and very formal to each other now can be a hundred per cent themselves. also watching them growing as artists was another great experience, sometimes you felt like a proud mother, especially when it comes to your safe group. at this point, you didn’t even care who would win, because in any scenario you would be extremely proud of your friends.

joost told you to get ready for the concert as usual, you didn’t even question him anymore, because you knew that he wouldn’t tell you anything, so it was pointless. you wore your stage outfit and patiently waited for your turn, right now at the stage you could see your favourite twins, even if you couldn’t sing, you still loudly supported them, but only with your applauses.

finally it was your turn to go on stage, but right before your leg touched the floor, joost showed up with his iconic blue suit, he took a microphone and started talking;

“hello everyone! i know you’re all waiting for our amazing y/n, but unfortunately she won’t be give you guys proper performance today, but good for her - i’m here” he said smiling, as the crowd just laughed, then he invited you at the stage and you were loudly welcome by audience. joost handed you microphone that was turned off and you heard the beginning of your song. a few moments later instead of your voice, you heard joost who were holding a phone with the lyrics of this song.

you couldn’t believed what was happening, all you did was laugh, when you heard how he tried to mimic your singing style. but then you realised, that you should start to lip syncing, and that’s what you did.

everyone, the audience & the contestants started laughing, but also singing along with joost. that was officially your best performance at all eurovision pre parties.

when the song ended, you turned on the microphone and said shortly “you’re crazy” shortly after you heard his response “anything for you, honey”

[yayll]

omg PLSPLSPLS GIVE US GIRLDAD!DAZAI!!! Im literally so obsessed w ur work and luv luv luv reading it <3

just wanna say thank u so much anon for sending in the CUTEST request ever i have never thought abt it this way and when i finally did it was over for me. it wrote itself. THANK U FOR LIKING MY WORK THATS SO SWEET AHHH :') i keep getting ill so srry it's a lil late but i am so thankful for you trusting me w ur concept. mwahhhh.

~ a little something about girldad!Dazai simply trying his best, and loving it ~

Dazai never thought the day would come when his life finally felt complete. First, you happened to him and that was something he couldn't even fathom in a million lifetimes. It wasn't meant for him, and letting love into his heart felt like going against the nature of things. He struggled with it for a long time, pushing you away and making sure you realized this wasn't something worth pursuing... but you never relented, and he stopped fighting the longing for something more. You made him feel it was okay to want, to yearn, to need. And so came along every single repressed desire he had ever had. The love between you bloomed, and he thought this was the height of it all; The bandages he wore over his body were no longer grim reminders of his lack of humanity and the masks he wore on the daily. Those frayed wraps of fabric were symbols of love returning, of patience, of a lived in soul, and he no longer had to maintain them alone. He had you.

And then one day, he suddenly had a little girl in his life.

Another life to nurture and to start anew with, and his fear was that he yet again could not redeem himself from his past, but he was determined for her, for you and for himself to not let that be the case. When you gave him the most precious thing he didn't think he ever wanted nor could ever have, that was the day he vowed to be the epitome of a true figure worth looking up to. Osamu Dazai, the family man! Dad of the year!

... Except today, when he woke up late to take the apple of his eye to preschool. You were out of town, and though you eventually claimed to have faith in his solo parenting skills, it was a complete leap of faith. He comforted you for hours, how hard could it be? He can be both parents at once! How cruel of you to even doubt him. He remembers the look on your face when he slammed the door on you while holding your precious angel in his arms, both of them giggling while they waved you off as if they rehearsed it.

Aaaand now he realized why you were so worried. He looks at the time and he springs out of bed, running off to her bedroom. She even sleeps like a little lamb, he thinks to himself. He rushes at her side and softly turns her over.

"Little love, wake uuupppp..."

She pouts, shaking her head as she shifts in her sleep. He sighs and tries again a little more desperately.

"If you wake up, that will be really good for daddy, otherwise mommy will kill me! Up we go!"

He picks her up, and she rubs her eyes as Dazai does the most rushed morning routine ever.

He gets her dressed, though the socks don't match, and when he does her pigtails, they're lopsided. How do you do it?! And now he has to FEED her?! He stuffs a few handfuls of cereal into his mouth while giving her a proper bowl, but they're so late he thinks they should just start walking now.

"Take the bowl with you, we can do this thing called eat and walk! Yes?"

"'Kay, daddy!"

She simply giggles, not understanding how dire it is for her to make it today. She holds onto her cereal bowl as he grabs her backpack, both of them walking out into the street. Dazai's fast walking and her bowl sloshes a bit as she tries to match his pace and eat at the same time.

She's waddling adorably, and he gets lost in watching her carefully while also literally getting lost finding the school. He stops at the crosswalk, and thinks to himself. She looks up at him with a milk mustache, and her soft melodic voice rings once more like a voice of reason. She points to the right.

"That way! hehe."

Dazai has no time to fact check this, and at this point she's parenting him. You'd pass out of laughter if you could see him right now. They rush towards the school, and when he drops her off at the gate, he gives her a big kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, okay? Now give daddy the cereal bowl. How yum was that?"

She cheers, smiling wide.

"Yum!!!!"

He smirks, and takes the bowl. At least he got that right, that smile alone is worth every late start to his mornings. He waves at her as she enters the school, and forgets he's holding the bowl still, her teacher looking at him like he's deranged. You were so proud to hear that his first time parenting alone went so smooth! What you didn't know was that your little girl did most of the work keeping him on track. Still counts, right?

Another time he was exemplary was when he had just given her a bath and you were supervising to make sure he got her routine down.

"Osamu, that's the conditioner. The shampoo is over there."

You laugh while pointing at the clearly marked bottle. He rolls his eyes, smirking as he continues to rub it in her little swirl of dark hair.

"Oh please, I knew that. This makes it soft! And all detangled... It's a better routine, trust me. This is so much better."

He was totally bullshitting, he had no idea there was more than one hair product ever. This is the same man who used to find showers foreign and eat canned crab for every meal. You simply nodded, seeing right through his facade. But it was all so endearing watching your daughter splash the water on his face and play with rubber duckies, it was a dream come true. It was a dream you knew was more precious to him than anything, so you let him have his fun.

Once bath time is over, he places her on the bed in her diaper and walks out to grab her a change of clothes. Uh oh, he forgot today was laundry day! He walks back into the room a few moments later, thinking of how to pivot without having to bother you when he sees his little angel wrapped head to toe in a full roll of his bandages. His eyes go wide at the sight of the wrapped up toddler, and he laughs nervously as he rushes over while she has the time of her life squealing and rolling around the bed. He pretends to be mad.

"Little love! That's not clothes, silly! That's for daddy only, you have your own."

She simply disregards this, her mind focusing on how hilarious it would be if she just started making bubbles with her saliva instead. Dazai chuckles again, and puts his hands on his hips.

"Oh, such attitude! You know, l'm gonna have to do it... Remember when I told you about daddy's old job? I'm gonna have to get mean againnn..~"

He immediately launches himself onto the bed, tickling her through the thick fabric, and when you rush over you find them both just collapsed on the bed, Dazai counting her fingers and toes in order to distract her enough to unwrap her. Luckily, you had a spare onesie for her to save the day... even if it took the both of you to get her out of her improvised outfit. What a strong willed little one! You hoped this wasn't a special abillity developing...

It's no surprise she's a daddy's girl either, a mini Dazai at her core with your balancing characteristics on the surface. She was a little menace, sticking her tongue out at dogs every time she saw them because Dazai would do the same. He would even go as far as to help her dress like her hero! Of course you both had a stroke when you saw how tightly she wore that bolo tie, but the laugh after was worth the worry... After you scolded both of them... but it proved useless against two of the most experienced charmers you've ever met. You just couldn't win.

You especially could never get used to the sight after a long day of existing in the real world, simply watching her climb up to the couch and playing with Dazai's hair as she nuzzles herself into his shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. It was just as intense for his poor little heart as well. The way she'd yank on a strand while he pretended to be asleep was priceless, or when she'd stick her finger in his nose, causing him to have a sneezing fit soon after. It was almost karmic the way she both adored him and put him in his place, just like you.

"Daddy has brown hair because he drinks chocolate milk."

"Daddy stinks today. Throw him away!"

"Daddy looks like a mummy. Do you like mummies?"

"Who's Kunikida? He yelled at daddy today, it was funny!"

She'd babble on about all kinds of curious nonsense. You'd simply nod and agree. She was never wrong!

But what really got to you was watching her pass out on his head after hours of playtime, and the way Dazai would finally open his eyes with that smug smile of his, scooping her up and carefully taking her to bed. He tucks her in, whispering about all the adventures they'll have tomorrow and the days after. About all the rules they'll break together, and mysteries they'll solve when he takes her to work with him. He doesn't tell bedtime stories per se, but he spends all his time having actual conversations with her until she dozes off because he cannot believe this is a little extension of him and he's just as fascinated with knowing her the way she is with him. With life.

She's full of it, something he wasn't for a long time, and it brings him to tears when he sometimes thinks about it too long in private.

You're both his life and he didn't realize he could still feel regret like he does when he thinks of all the times he spent trying to end his own existence. It's a whole different world, and sure, he also loves to use her as an excuse to continue to slack off at work, and maaaybe he likes to sometimes force Atsushi to turn so she can pet him like the giant cat he is out of both their own entertainment, but dying is no longer the priority. It hasn't been for a long time, and he thinks he's doing an okay job... At being a dad, at being a human, at belonging in this world.

When he finally gets in bed with you, he feels whole. He also feels impish when he turns over and whispers.

"Maybe it's time for another, hm?~"

Oops!

[ode2rin]

US, AGAIN .ೃ

pairing. itoshi sae x gn!reader

genre. second chance (exes back to lovers!) | a bit of small town romance | a sprinkle of childhood friends to lovers (past) | angst with a happy ending 

content/warnings. 5.2k+ wc | characters are aged 25 in the present | pro-athlete!sae x coffee shop owner!reader | sae left for spain at 19 in here | mentions of sae’s vague past (especially the striker dream) | itoshi bros conflict never happened here let me be delusional | heavy in narration | minimal proofread

in which: itoshi sae returns to the only place on earth he vows to never set foot again.

💭 flashbacks are italicized and indented :>

Six years.

In those six long years of his absence, you couldn't deny that you rehearsed countless scenarios of encountering him upon his return. 

If by chance he still wanted to see you, or even look at you, you imagined giving him a small smile, a carefully crafted facade of composure, before gracefully walking away, as if life had moved on effortlessly for both of you.

That’s what you imagined. Just walk away, like how life went on for the both of you. 

But reality never seemed to align with your reveries. The sight of him wasn't remotely serene enough to prompt a composed exit. Seeing him made your throat tighten, and your heart danced in a rhythm only he could create.

Six damn years had passed since you last saw him on that balcony, and now, with him back in town, avoiding him seemed like the only right thing to do.

You don’t know how long he’ll be here, but it is now your life mission to avoid him at all cost. Today's encounter was just an unfortunate event—an inevitable twist of fate. Their house was literally right in front of your family's, making it hard to escape the nearness of the past.

“So, he’s back in town?” 

Hari's voice, your co-worker and now a dear friend, snapped you back from the reverie of yesterday's memories. The sound of her voice broke through the nostalgic haze, pulling you back to the present.

“What?”

“I asked if your childhood friend who is also a superstar slash professional athlete slash your only ex is back,” she mischievously asked, even miming quotation marks to emphasize each title she created.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head at her antics. Your gaze drifted to the freshly baked pastries, their delightful aroma greeting your senses like a warm embrace as you artfully displayed them on the shelves. The familiar scent of coffee and delightful confections used to calm you, but now it mingled with the storm of emotions inside.

“Yeah, it's basically the talk of the town. He's famous after all,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant and still focused on your work, using it as a shield to hide your vulnerability.

But in reality, the sight of him earlier had caught you off guard, and you had turned the other way to avoid him. Your heart was still racing from the almost encounter, and the comforting ambiance of your coffee shop provided little solace.

“Did he see you?”

“I pray to all saints that he didn’t,” you deadpanned, your facade of composure beginning to falter.

“What did he look like now?”

You hesitated, your mind flashing back to that fleeting glimpse of him earlier.

Far from what was once mine. “Good.”

“That’s it? Good?”

No. He looked gorgeous. He looked painfully gorgeous.

“What do you want me to say?” you countered, throwing a side glance to her persistence.

In that fleeting moment, you caught a glimpse of how much he had changed. He looked undeniably handsome, lean, and with a certain maturity that hadn't been there before.

He… looked different.

And that's good—for you and for him. It meant that life there treated him well, and it eased some of the lingering guilt you carried.

You and Hari fell into a consuming silence, your backs turned away from each other. Even with closed eyes, you sensed that she wanted to ask something. You didn't want to initiate the conversation, but this suffocating silence had to go.

As you stepped behind the counter, you were met with Hari's concerned eyes and a voice laden with hesitation. “What are you going to do then?” she carefully asked.

You pressed your lips together, momentarily at a loss for words.

So you did what you do best: mask hurting with laughter.

“Is there anything I should do?” you paused, the sound of your fake laughter ringing in your ears. “It's been years. We made a choice.”

But Hari wasn't ready to let the matter rest, and you don’t know how to tell her you’re close to calling it a day. “You made a choice for him,” she countered gently, her tone filled with empathy.

Stunned was an understatement. Caught off guard would be an apt description. But speechless was exactly how you felt.

That, you couldn't mask with anything.

So you did what you weren’t best at: admitting the truth.

“And I’ll do it again,” you whispered in return. It was faint, because it was more for you than more of a reply to her. 

You were both young, and half oblivious to what it would be like outside, where the world wasn’t painted in golden hues and the gentle waves were replaced by blaring cars.

You were both seventeen, young and living for the hope of it all.

But you lived for days like those – days where both of you just had to be kids still. No worries, no voices of what might come.

“Tell me about your dreams, Sae.” “Tch. You already know about it.”

You did. All of it, you knew. Since you were kids, no one knew him like you did. You were his lover and confidant. You knew about it, all too well and all too much.

“Come on!” you persisted, giving him an enthusiastic look. “The sky looks so pretty in this sunset, I want it to know about us.” The setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over the beach as you and Sae sat side by side in the sand. The sound of gentle waves caressed your ears, creating a serene backdrop for your beach date. He hesitated for a moment, looking out at the horizon. Then there it was, a glint of determination flashed in his usually reserved eyes. “To be the best striker in the world.” You couldn't help but be captivated by the sight. It was the first time you had seen such an unusual spark in his eyes. Sae's gaze was often cold and impersonal, but now it was as if stars were hanging in his eyes, reflecting the infinite possibilities of his dreams. Sae is handsome, mysteriously beautiful even. But this, nothing will beat how dreamy he looks when he speaks of his craft. You liked this look on him - so ambitious, so driven. It made your heart flutter with admiration. Seeing this glint in his eyes right now, you knew you wanted to do anything in your power to let it stay there.

And you did, you held on and held out. Until you turned nineteen, when you had let him go to the big cities where he rightfully belonged. 

You smiled, a genuine, heartwarming smile, and leaned in to press a tender kiss on his cheek. “I’m sure you will be the best.”

Maybe you bit off more than what you could chew, but in the end, you’d do it all over again. Because what you did, the choice you made – it was for the best.

You were both nineteen, young and eager to grasp the world's offerings with hopeful hands. 

But despite the certainty you tried to hold onto, there were nights when the memories tugged at your heartstrings like it did now. You knew it was the right choice, that you both needed to chase your dreams separately — especially his dreams. But it didn't erase the whispers of what-ifs that occasionally crept into your mind.

But life — life went on. Life never waits for anyone, anyway. And so, you worked diligently to craft a future that no longer had room for regrets.

But love leaves echoes, and his presence back in town stirred those dormant feelings. With him being in the same place, you felt like a stranger in your own town.

It was easier when he was thousands of miles away, an untouchable star on a different horizon. But now, with the universe conspiring to bring you close again, you couldn't help but feel like a wanderer in the galaxy of memories you built together.

After all, everything here in this town is about you and him. 

Six years.

Was it that long? He couldn’t really tell. Maybe time really does pass fast when your life is falling apart.

It has been six years since Sae has sat on the balcony of his childhood home. And like the sick bastard fate was, he’s welcomed by the sight of your horrified yet still so damn fucking beautiful face.

Perhaps the saints you prayed to didn’t hear any of your pleas, because despite calling out to each one, Sae saw you.

There you were, a flicker in the periphery of his vision, desperately trying to avoid him. He was trained to be very aware of his field of vision, so there was no way he wasn’t able to notice your frantic leaving and the hurried closing of your house’s door as you noticed him. 

He let you be, holding back the overwhelming desire to call out your name like he used to when both of you were running late to class. He let you be, because if you were to ask him, he wouldn’t know how to look you in the eye without a thousand words reflecting on his own. 

[Attention, everyone. This is the final boarding call for passengers of flight 924 to Madrid, Spain. Again, this is the final –] “Sae, you’re going to miss your flight. They’re not coming.” No. “They’re not coming, Sae. You have to get on the plane.” No. No. Shut up.

He needed you there, more than anyone. A thousand people could cheer and show up for Itoshi Sae, but his eyes will always search the crowd for just one — just yours.

Yet, alas, you were nowhere to be found. And so, that very same day, Sae vowed to never come back to this place.

He hated this town and you, he’s convinced.

Sae had always been indifferent to a lot of people, everyone knew that. But never in a hundred years would anyone who knew you both think you’d be on that list. And deep down, he didn’t want to believe it either – until that day you decided not to show up when you promised you would.

He wasn't stupid. He had an inkling of why you did what you did. Yet, irrationality overpowered reason, and all he wanted that day was to run the distance between the airport and your house – to see your face, to remind you that he had plans, plans for both of you.

When Sae’s manager informed him that he needed to come home for a while to renew his passport, it was as if all of his suppressed recollections of this place – of you, came pouring out to his soul all at once.

Every street, every corner, every memory — they all threatened to consume him. His family, Rin, this town, and you – you were all the things he left behind for the dream.

Dream. Best Striker in the world. What did it even mean? Long ago, he thought he knew.

But it had to work. Everything had to work. He lost you for this dream. And if he loses it too, then what does that make him? A sore failure. And Sae was never known to be admissible to failing.

Whatever hell he encountered on the other side of the world, he swore he would never return home. Even when he was traversing across a path to ruin of being the person he thought he would be, he would never ever choose to come home.

Anywhere, but here. Anywhere, but home.

So there he was, the renowned glorious prodigy of japan. He was close to everything after countless mishaps. 

He’s getting closer and closer to the new dream yet getting farther and farther away from home.

Home. What does it even mean? Lately, he doesn’t even know. 

And after that day, no one ever mentioned your name to him. No one in his new world knew about you. No one knew how Itoshi Sae's world used to revolve around someone's soft smiles and easy eyes. 

He never asked anyone not to mention you; he wasn't one to ask, after all. But for some reason, no one dared to. Not even Rin. It was as if one mention of you in his presence was a carefully crafted brick used to make his castles crumble to the ground.

He hated that, but maybe they were right. Because with just a second's worth of a glimpse of you from earlier, Sae indeed felt his castles crumbling, piece by piece.

He hates you, for making his resolve crumble. For being the one person who can make his vow to never look back fall apart.

He hates you, because everything in this forsaken place is about you and him. Memories of your shared youth are etched into the very walls and streets, haunting him like ghosts of a past he can't escape.

He hates you, for not trusting you two would work it out somehow, and for giving up before the game even began.

He hates you, because it was easier that way. Easier to pretend he didn't care, that you didn't matter, and that you were just another soul he knows a little too much of.

Sae could go on and on listing a hundred more, and yet he knows, only one of it was true – and that he hates you for making him convince himself that he does, just to cope with leaving half of his heart to the only place he vowed never to come back to.

It was a jinx to say that yesterday’s encounter was already an unfortunate event, because today, you literally learned a whole new degree of unfortunate and unlucky – by having Itoshi Sae as your first customer of the day. 

“Welcome! How may I help you toda— S-Sae.”

And to even top it off, today was Hari’s day off. It meant that you’re currently alone in the same confined four-cornered room with the person you swore you would avoid like it’s your life mission.

Damn it, Hari. Of all days. Her day off really had to be today.

Itoshi Sae, in the goddamn flesh, is standing in your place two meters away from you, yet you’re having a hard time feeling your feet on the ground and your heart beating so damn loud. 

He wasn’t looking at you (thank god), and had his eyes exploring the place with a neutral expression playing on his face. Suddenly, you feel like sixteen again back when he was looking at the first set of cookies you’ve ever baked and you were dying to hear what he thinks of your craft.

“It’s yours?”

You gulp. 

You gulped down the urge to tear up with how much his voice changed. You gulped down the urge to cry because he assumed you had your dream turn into reality too.

“Yeah,” you replied in whisper, your eyes following where he was looking, trying to avoid any chance it will meet his, “it’s not much but —”

“It’s beautiful.” Even before Sae could hear your meek comment of yourself, he cut you off.

You were always like that —downplaying your hard work, belittling yourself even before someone does. He hated that about you. 

He used to get mad at you for it, especially when someone made fun of you at school and you didn’t defend yourself. He always makes you cry whenever he points it out, so he stopped. Instead, he made it his role to rebuild your confidence. Sae wasn't known for being generous in compliments. It would probably take one hand to count all the instances that he genuinely called someone along the lines of not dumb, stupid, lukewarm. 

But it was never the case with you. With you, to say beautiful was always a second nature to Sae's tongue.

And he wasn’t lying though. Your coffee shop was really charmingly cozy, and so like you. It’s so much alike to what you used to tell him how you envisioned it would be. 

The coffee shop was a quaint haven nestled right at the edge of the sandy shore. Its exterior, adorned with weathered wooden panels and soft, warm hues, exuded a rustic charm that welcomed passersby with open arms. Sunlight spilled through large windows, casting gentle rays that danced upon the vintage, mosaic-tiled floor.

It’s beautiful, and it’s in front of our place. He wanted to say to you, but he stopped at beautiful not wanting to make things more awkward than it should.

The coffee shop, it’s right in front of the beach. It’s in front of that one spot you and him used to call ours. 

It’s the first thing he noticed before coming inside, and it made him wonder whether you knew or he’s the only one who remembers it even now.

Bashful, you uttered a silent thank you to his remark, “What would you like to order?” you followed up, trying to maintain composure despite your heart racing in your chest.

Noticing that he’s been too silent for someone who’s about to order something, you looked up to your menu, and immediately, you understood his silence. If one were to point out, it is too immediate for someone who’s almost strangers to each other.

“We have non-caffeinated drinks too,” you hurriedly said to him, your voice quivering slightly as you tried to break the spell of awkward silence.

He gulps, his eyes locked with yours in a moment that felt like eternity.

He can’t drink coffee, it ruins his body clock, and you knew that. You still know that.

It appears that he's not the only one who remembers, after all.

A thousand emotions danced in his eyes, each one a testament to the love that once blossomed between you. The coffee shop, once a quaint haven, now felt like a crucible of emotions, and the atmosphere was thick with unspoken words, heavy with the weight of what could have been.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you couldn't look away, despite the rush of memories and unspoken words flooding your mind. It was as if time had folded in on itself, and you were once again those young souls who found solace in each other's presence.

But this was different, much more complicated. The past was a turbulent sea, and even though you had both moved on with your lives, there was still a deep, lingering connection that couldn't be severed.

Yet, you knew better than to let those emotions take control. You made a choice, you have to stand by it.

You were no longer the naive teenagers who believed love could conquer all. Reality had taught you both harsh lessons, and the wounds of the past still lingered, threatening to reopen with each stolen glance.

“I’ll have your best seller of it then,” he finally broke the silence, his voice steady despite the tempest inside.

With a nod, you turned to prepare his order, your hands trying to steady themselves. You couldn't help but wonder if he noticed the tremor in your fingers or the way your heart seemed to echo in every beat.

As you handed him his drink, your fingertips brushed lightly against his hand, and for a brief moment, the world stood still.

He took the cup from you, and for a fleeting moment, you both lingered, almost as if neither of you wanted to let go. He could stay in this, playing pretend. Pretend none of it happened, pretend he never left, pretend it worked out in the end.

But he can’t, not when you stepped back first, breaking the contact between you and reminding him of the choice you made.

“Thank you,” he managed to say, his voice softer now, filled with a hint of something even he couldn't quite decipher.

“You’re welcome,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

And just like that, the moment passed, slipping through your fingers like sand. He turned to leave, and you watched him walk away, every step taking him farther from the life you once shared.

Perhaps, in some parallel universe, there existed a version of you who chose differently, who stayed intertwined with him in a tale of love that defied all odds. But here, in this reality, both of you were no longer who you used to be.

In this universe, you're just some two ghosts standing in the place of you and him, haunted by the memories of what once was while trying to remember what it feels to have a heartbeat.

After Sae’s visit yesterday, saying that you weren’t doing fine would be a gross understatement. 

Your emotions were all over the place, and you couldn't seem to find a stable ground for your thoughts. It didn't help when your parents casually mentioned that he was leaving town later today. Apparently, Mrs. Itoshi had a little gossip session with the neighbors, unknowingly revealing a piece of her oldest son's business.

He’s leaving, and that's good—for you and for him.

As you stood behind the counter of the coffee shop, you absentmindedly glanced out the window, your eyes drawn to the beach. The sight of the shore brought back a flood of memories.

Maybe in another life, the two of you could still dance along the sandy shore, playfully splashing water at each other. He would chase after you, catching hold of your waist as he sweeps you off your feet. And perhaps, just perhaps, you would have the chance to embrace him tightly once again, with your arms wrapped around his neck while you share a kiss as greedy and fiery as the sea’s yearning for the moon.

And maybe, in another life, your story wouldn’t end with both of you being strangers who know a little too much about each other.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the tears streaming down your cheeks until Hari whispered, “Y/N... you're crying.”

“Oh, I am,” you admitted, trying to regain your composure.

Your heart lurched as you tried to suppress the tears, but they kept flowing relentlessly. “Hari…” you whispered, shocked by your own emotional outpouring.

Hari's eyes reflected pity as she watched you, her voice soft and understanding. “Go,” she encouraged, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, “Get your man. I'll take care of everything here.”

The words hit you like a lifeline, a spark of hope igniting within you. You quickly removed your apron and grabbed your keys, determined to catch him before it was too late. 

But before you could dash out, Hari's voice echoed through the shop, loud and clear, “Go! Be happy! And for the love of god, no more sacrifices as a love language!”

With one last glance at her and your coffee shop, you rushed out the door.

The airport seemed like a maze of bustling strangers as you frantically searched for the departure gates. Every passing second felt like an eternity, the fear of missing him consuming you.

Desperation and determination fueled your steps as you approached the flight attendant, your voice trembling, “Flight to Spain — I need to know about the flight to Spain for today.”

The attendant looked at you with sympathy, “I'm sorry, but all flights to Spain have already left. The last one left twenty minutes ago.”

Your heart sank, but you couldn't give up that easily. “Can you check again? Please. I-I need to see him. Please.”

The attendant double-checked, but the outcome remained unchanged. 

Twenty damn minutes. You lost him in just that short amount of time.

Your heart shattered as you realized you had missed your chance. The desperation in your eyes was evident as you felt your world crumbling around you.

In the midst of the bustling airport, you allowed yourself to grieve for what could have been and for the chances you never took.

Six years ago, you were supposed to be here. And maybe if you did, you wouldn't find yourself six years after, wishing you did things differently.

The drive back felt like the longest journey of your life. 

The sinking sun painted the sky with hues of orange and pink as you approached the familiar place. As you got closer, you noticed that the shop was already closed, and you assumed Hari had taken care of everything. 

But what caught you off guard was the sight of Sae standing there, in front of your place, with a suitcase by his side, as if he were meant to be on a flight rather than standing there.

“You're here,” you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest as you got closer.

“I’m here.”

“Why didn't you leave?” you asked.

Because I’m done convincing myself that I hate you, Sae hesitated to say.  “Why did you go to the airport?” he countered instead, avoiding your question.

Because I’m done telling myself that I did the right thing. 

There were so many things you wanted to say, but the words were caught in your throat. You bit your lip, not ready to answer his question just yet.

Impatient and desperate, Sae took his chances to ask you the only question that mattered to him at this point, “Tell me you don't love me anymore. I will go. I will do as you please. I just need to hear it from you.”

Your eyes widened at his sudden question, but Sae wasn’t done yet. “Answer me. It’s a yes or no question.”

Lost in a whirlwind of emotions, you couldn't hold back the torrent of words that poured from your heart.

“A yes or no question, you say? Every night, I think of you.”

With each word, your voice wavered, and you couldn't help but express the worries that had plagued you during his absence.

“Were you eating properly? Does the food there suit your liking? You’re a bit picky. Is it too hot there? Were you taking your supplements? Were you being hard on yourself again? Is... is there someone new? There must be, right?”

As the words left your lips, you realized just how much you had been consumed by thoughts of him, wondering about every aspect of his life, even when he was miles away from you.

His reaction to you holding forth seemed to intensify at your last question, but right now, you weren’t ready to listen to him. He needs to listen to you.

“Every single night of the past six years, I yearned for you. I yearned to have you close. I yearned to hold your face just once more. And fuck, I would’ve traded all my tomorrows for just one yesterday with you.”

With those words, the floodgates of emotion burst open, and tears streamed down your cheeks. 

Fuck, six years. For six years, you held on and held out. Would it have been easier if both of you had tried, and along the way, lost? Would it have alleviated the pain of what-ifs and what could have been's if you had bargained, if you had gambled? Or would it all have led you right back to this moment, grappling with the same heartache and uncertainty?

Finally, meeting his eyes, you saw a reflection of your own emotions in his. But you weren’t done yet.

“And you dare ask me if I love you. Well, does that answer your fucking question, Itoshi?”

“Then, don’t cross it out. Don’t ever cross it out again.”

Cross what…out?

“I saw your letter,” Sae admitted, causing a momentary confusion to wash over you. 

My letter… Bewildered, you couldn't form the right words, and he took it as a sign to continue, and to close the distance between you to hold your hands.

“Tell me, how could I leave after reading that, knowing the only soul who truly knew me was here? You own me, Y/N.”

“I told you countless times before, you own me,” Sae reaffirmed, his grip on your hand tightening as he drew it closer to his lips, planting tender kisses upon your skin. 

“There was no one,” he continued, his words carrying a sense of reassurance. “And there's no other warmth comparable to yours that I'd ever let myself bask in. And if there's any, I'd be only fooling myself, pretending it was you instead.”

Sae's voice grew softer, yet resolute. “You own me, even when I'm on the other side of the world. You own me, Y/N. Even in the distance that separated us, even in the years that you claim I'm not."

He stepped closer, his eyes locked with yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. “No place can ever own me as much as you do. So, don't ever cross your I love you's to me. I want them – all. I don't want your sorry's.”

“But I’m sorry,” you whispered, for the last time. But Sae gently wiped away your tears.

“It's ‘I love you’ from now on.”

For a moment, you both stayed like that, trying to make up for the lost time. Sae, much like you, dreamed of the day he gets to hold you close once again. He dreamed of a day he gets to watch the sunset from the reflection of your eyes again.

Sae could go on and on listing a hundred more reasons why he shouldn't be standing here, and yet he knew, only one of it was true – and that he hated himself for convincing himself that he shouldn't be here – to you, in his hometown.

Sae may have vowed to never come back to this place, but it was always a lie, because for all he knew, it's the only place he truly belonged. Half of his heart was left here, with you.

“Come on,” Sae said, and you followed him, curiosity in your eyes.

“Where are we going?”

“There,” Sae pointed to the beach, your spot, specifically. “To our place. The sky looks pretty, and I want it to know about us, again.”

“Us... again?” you asked hesitantly.

“If you would take me back.” Sae answered, a hint of fear in his eyes, afraid that he might be assuming this second chance for the two of you.

You took his hand in response, and squeezed it three times. “I want nothing more than to be with you, again.”

Without any more words, Sae gently cupped your cheeks, his touch sending shivers down your spine. The touch of his fingers was both familiar and new.

In the fading light of the day, his eyes bore into yours with an intensity that made your heart race. The anticipation hung heavy in the air as you leaned closer to each other, your breath hitched as his warm breath mingled with yours.

His lips were soft against yours, and as they moved with a tenderness that mirrored the way he held you, it was as if he was trying to convey everything he had ever wanted to say to you in that one, passionate moment.

The kiss deepened, and you could feel the intensity of his emotions pouring into it. It was a kiss that spoke of all the words left unsaid, of all the nights spent missing each other, and of all the dreams of a future together.

Feeling the tears streaming down your cheeks, Sae pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. And in that moment, he knew that he was exactly where he was meant to be – here.

To you, in his hometown. 

💭 thank you for the request saetorinrin! (i owe you a lot for your patience i guess..)

note. hi. if you’ve been here before, you might know that i hate this trope with a burning passion, i just can’t write it for the life of me. i started this in may (and only had the guts to finish it this month lmao), i was so tempted to delete everything and start from scratch (for the nth time) but i think i owe it to myself to retain most of what i wrote when i was stranded on an island xd this isn’t my best, that, i know for sure. but i hope you’ll still like it ! 

💌 if you reached this part, and you want to know about reader’s letter that sae’s was referencing, here it is. you may or may not read this, it won’t really matter. but if you want to, click until the end :>

�� back to: milestone event

[matildaanymore]

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : dominic fike x fem!reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : Dominic Fike is suspected to be single according to his fans. However… they don’t know about the mystery girl Dom is secretly seeing. What happen’s when she’s right infront of them the whole time.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : none??? also this is my first ever fanfiction so please bare with.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

liked by dominicfike, bobbyskeetz and 17,030 others

y/nusername : coachella, cats, cherries and chats.🍒

user : ur so gorgeous

➥ y/nusername : thank you! x

user : omg what’s the cats name?

➥ y/nusername : Lyra x

user : pretty omggg

user: dominic liked? 

➥ user : i know wtf, crossover? 

user: is that dominic? 

➥ user: don’t be dumb 

user : that literally dominic. that’s his sweater

➥ user : not only 1 person has that sweater

You were sat in Dominic’s trailer at Coachella while he was doing soundcheck with his band. You had just posted on instagram which led you to scroll endlessly, through the comments and the home feed. 3 knocks were heard on the door which startled you at first.

“Come in!” soon the door opened revealing the sweaty florida boy who has just finished rehearsing. “Hey babe”. Dom strolled over to you placing a kiss on your forehead which made your cheeks turn a light shade of pink which was covered up by the blush you put on this morning. 

“How was soundcheck?” “It was good, it’s so hot out there today i thought i was gonna pass out” you chuckled to yourself shutting your phone off throwing it to the other end of the sofa while letting out a sigh. 

“What’s wrong?”. Dom was currently patting his face down with a towel while downing bottles of waters and piecing together his hair after coming back in a sweat. Lately you’ve been thinking a lot about your relationship with Dominic. Nothing negative of course. You loved him endlessly but all you wanted to do was to be able to walk around in the public eye freely without people secretly taking photos and making assumptions on your relationship. You get the odd comments every now again on your posts or his posts whenever you’re in the same area but no one even knew you knew hung out one on one without your groups around. He came and joined you on the sofa throwing your phone back onto ur lap as he groaned from still being hot and sweaty. He had his arm around the back on the chair and head leaned back which soon turned into your direction. “I want to go public… with our relationship. Not straight away obviously but we should start hinting something”. “Why’d you say that?” He gave the impression that it was fine for this to be kept a secret when in reality he wanted to be by your side 24/7 and nothing more than to kiss and hold you in public. He started playing with your hair twirling it around his finger while still making direct eye contact trying to figure out if you were being serious. “I’m just so sick of hiding what we have. We are people just like everyone else. We should be allowed to talk and interact without us worrying about peoples assumptions”…

It was silent for a minute or two. The silence wasn’t filled however the thoughts in each others heads broke it. “Let’s do it?” “Huh?” “Let’s go public then.” Dom said standing up pulling his phone out and unlocking it. You quickly snatched it off of him which caused him to look up at you again “Hey-!”

“Announce it tonight.” “What?” “On stage. Dedicate a song to me instead of posting photos online. We can then do that whenever” you said also standing up wrapping your arms around his shoulders which led him to putting his hands around your waist and foreheads resting against eachother.

 “Okay.” “Okay?” “Yeah ok. I’ll dedicate a song to you. I’m not telling you which one though” 

“Deal?” He held out his pinky to make it a promise. “Deal.” And with that you interlocked fingers and shook on it. 

It was a few hours later and Dom was performing on stage. You were stood in front of the barricade with the photographers, security guards and a mix of his and your friends who arrived later in the day. You spent the first few songs singing, dancing and looking around. You spotted a bunch of people holding up signs for Dominic and screaming at the top of their lungs for the boy. It made you happy that these people have travelled all the way here to see him to see him in his element. You soon got snapped out of your trance when ‘How Much Is Weed?’ suddenly ended. “I want to dedicate this next song to my girlfriend.” while sending a wink in your direction which made fans scream. It wasn’t obvious that it was you to others but this moment felt special and euphoric to you both. All of a sudden ‘Ant Pile’ started playing through the speaks which made your jaw drop. You laughed slightly which cause him to also giggle on stage midway through the first lyric. 

liked by user, dominicfikelover and 120,289 others

dominicfikeupdates: Dom dedicated his song ‘Ant Pile’ to his unknown girlfriend at his set at Coachella today. 

user : i was there and let me tell you my heart broke a little 

user : he winked in the direction of y/n and her friends. 

➥ user : everyone in their friend group are in couples apart from…

➥ user : oh my god. 

user : @y/nusername @dominicfike you’ve got some explaining to do

➥ y/nusername : whoops 🏃

You ran backstage after Dom’s set finished while smiling ear to ear. Quickly flashing your stage pass at the security guards you ran to him jumping into his arms. “I love you so much”. “I love you more” 

He pushed your hair out of ur face giving you a long passionate kiss. His arm wrapped around your shoulder leading you back towards his trailer. This time you flopped back onto the sofa letting out a breathe you didn’t know you were holding in.

liked by dominicfike, radvxz and 302,299 others

y/nusername : “And that’s when you kissed me” ☀️

dominicfike : i love you 

➥ y/nusername : i guess i love you too. evil man. 

     ➥ dominicfike : HAAHAH

dominicfike: mother 

➥ y/nusername : get out of my comments. 

user : well this wasn’t expected. 

➥ user : i suspected it. 

     ➥ user : no one asked. 

user : OH. MY GOD. 

radvxz : come back to england. don’t bring him with you. 

➥ y/nusername : deal. 

     ➥ dominicfike : right well…

         ➥ radvxz : i wifed first. 

            ➥ dominicfike : who said we aren’t married

              ➥ y/nusername : who said i’d say yes. 

liked by clairo, billieeilish and 580,929 others 

dominicfike : “my yellow” ☀️

y/nusername : ANT PILE??

➥ user : she’s just as shook as us 

     ➥ y/nusername : he didn’t tell me what song he’d dedicate to me. 

user : ummm

➥user : ummmm

     ➥ user : UMMMM HELLO?

billieeilish : at least i didn’t post about it

feliciathegoat : thank god finally 

                                 ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

author: i’ve never written before so this was scary but i tried my best. i just need ideas to post about so i can do it properly - love matilda! pls gimme time xx

[sofs16]

rehearsal?

my first lando fic hehe

lando norris x influencer!reader

fc: madeline argy

yn

liked by landonorris, and 2,484,595 others yn u gotta loveeee spring time

view all 123,586 comments

liked by 653,686 others landonorris freshhhh

view all 172,585 comments

landowins LETS GOOO MONACO

yn

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 3,272,228 others yn humahumahuma

view all 83,686 comments

ynlauver whats a humahumahuma

⤷ yn @ynlauver idk… when do we ever know what i’m saying tho

mclando4 mclaren wyd here 😋

━ yn just tweeted !

yn @yn • 1h

STUPID FUCKING STUPIDDDDDDD

15:22 • 05/27/23 from earth • 543k Views 54k Reposts 10k Quotes 143k Likes 10k Bookmarks

Replying to @yn amelie @ynsbaee • 1h WHAT HAPPENED MOTHER?

Replying to @ynsbaee yn @yn • 41m your mother is an idiot. WHO CALLS QUALIFYING “REHEARSALS” AND THINKS THE CARS GO IN ONE AT A TIME AND SAYS IT TO THE FUCKING DRIVERS IM SO STUDPIC IM GOING TO MFKSSM 😭😭😭

jess @ynsracetrack • 30m

is yn talking abt f1.. HELLO?

15:52 • 05/27/23 from earth • 1,383 Views

21 Reposts 11 Quotes 943 Likes 2 Bookmarks

Replying to @ynsracetrack lia @ynloml • 1m THE FUCK SHE MET LANDO AND OSCAR

ynupdated

liked by landonorris and 13,383 others ynupdated NEW| Yn with Lando Norris at the Monaco Grand Prix! Via @ mclaren

view all 235 comments

landonoririzz lando.. we see you…

landohasrizz so proud of our boy! met his long time crush 😵‍💫

⤷ ynxoxo who wouldnt have a crush on my wife?

yn

liked by landonorris , charles_leclerc, and 4,978,808 others yn @ landonorris @ oscarpiastri @ mclaren is my public apology for calling qualifying “rehearsals”

view all 1,228,334 comments

landonorris Anytime! You looked great today 🧡

[ COMMENT DELETED ! ]

landonorris Had a great time at rehearsals with you! [ COMMENT DELETED ! ]

landonorris Anytime! Hope you enjoyed 🧡🧡🧡

[ COMMENT DELETED ! ]

landonorris Anytime! Hope you’re enjoying Monaco so far 🧡

⤷ yn oh believe me, i did ;)

landonoriszz lando😭

mcla1en user landonorris has stoped working

oscarpiastri We had a good laugh, all good! Enjoy the race tomorrow 🧡🏆

━ yn just followed back @ landonorris ! ━ yn just followed @ lando.jpg !

━ @ lando.jpg just followed back @ yn!

ynupdated

liked by 2,586 others ynupdated NEW| yn with a fan leaving the Monaco gp with P2 champion, Lando Norris! view all 112 comments

yncutiebae oh we’ve lost her.

yn

liked by landonorris, and 7,383,595 others yn mans got p2 and made me drive. i see how it is, norris. + sun here has got a GRIP on me view all 1,218,596 comments

ynwifeys HARD LAUNCH WHAT

ynmotherly mother knows what she did putting that last slide in her hard launch

landonorris Well, I am a passenger princess and you’re a better driver 😁🧡

⤷ yn awwwieee our lil lando princess ❤️😊

⤷ landonorris youre ruining this for me

⤷ yn buckle up sweets, you're in for a lot more! youre stuck with me for the week! ⤷ carlossainz55 landonorizz ❌ landohasrizz ✅

lando.jpg

liked by yn, and 843,585 others

lando.jpg day 4

view all 23,585 comments

f1over giggling. lando following back yn even if he doesnt usually follow back people (literally only follows his main and daniel’s jpg acc 😭)

yna @ynlandos • 4d

guys is ynlando still alive.. they havent interacted with each other since monaco … 😓

17:21 • 12/27/23 from earth • 12k Views 2k Reposts 532 Quotes 5k Likes 112 Bookmarks

replying to @ynlandos lia @ynloml they can’t be over, i refuse.

landonorris

liked by yn and 3,282,596 others

landonorris Word on the street is me and my gf broke up? Huh? Lando NoRizz never took off for a reason 🧡 Happy 7 months @yn lovely 🫀

view all 1,119,495 comments

carlossainz55 Lando Norizz certainly took off, what are you talking about, my muppet friend?

oscarpiastri Bet you’re grateful you were the one who brought up Yn to be invited to the GP 😂

⤷ landonorris shhh pastrami shhhhh

⤷ yn thanks babe

yn

liked by landonorris, and 7,338,696 others

yn i’ve done a lot of researching over the last 7 months to the point i can become the team principal! (andrea this is a JOKE IM SORRY). anywyas, love u my cutie patootie photographer @ landonorris loveulovuelovu

view all 1,670,707 comments

landonorris i am NOT a cutie patootie!

⤷ yn fine, no cuddles ig

⤷ landonorris IM A CUTIE PATOOTIE,NEVERMIND

[wolfjackle-creates]

Something Next to Normal

Tim's having a regular day at school when a classmate ropes him into helping with the school play as the light technician. Tim agrees to one rehearsal, but his responsibilities as Robin keep him so busy. He knows he'll have to turn down the position. Then he learns what Next to Normal is about. Tim absolutely cannot do this. --- Alfred is proud of Tim for taking on an extracurricular. The boy spends so much time alone. Having an excuse to spend time with other students his age can only be good for him. He wants to go see the show, but Tim counsels against it. After looking it up, Alfred spends a night in sleepless grief. But when day comes and he's face-to-face with Tim, he realizes the living boy in front of him needs him and something has to change.

This fic is inspired by a conversation I had with @yaderyngoch that you can find here.

Next to Normal is a super emotional musical that deals with surviving after grief. And the themes fit so well with Tim's early tenure as Robin that once the connection had been made, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Within hours, I was asking yaderyngoch if they minded if I started writing. A month later, this is what came of it.

Thanks to @greensword101 and @flipwizardstarlight for helping beta!

I plan to release chapter two in about a week.

Chapter 1 word count: 5,969

Content Warning: Bruce doesn't take a parental role towards Tim. And, at this point, he's not being a very good mentor either. He's too caught up in his own grief. The comfort will come up in chapter two.

-----

“Tim, Tim! There you are!”

Tim turned to see Alex, a senior in the journalism and drama clubs, waving a hand above his head and running towards him down the school hallway. “Hey, Alex. What’s wrong?”

Alex stopped right in front of him and bent over panting. He held one finger up, silently asking Tim to wait a moment. Finally, still somewhat breathless, he said, “We found out last night that my dad got a major promotion at work.”

“That’s awesome, congrats!” said Tim.

But Alex shook his head. “They want him to start immediately. Job’s out in California so we’ll have to move.”

Tim grimaced in sympathy. “Dude, that sucks. When will you be moving?”

“End of the week. But look, we need your help.”

Tim cocked his head. He wasn't really that close to Alex, though they were friendly. “How can I help? I assume your dad’s company will be providing movers and stuff.”

Alex waved him off. “Not like that. I mean with the musical! Performances are happening in a month and I’m in charge of lighting. You’re literally the only person in the whole school who I think could learn everything in time.”

Tim bit his lip. He was already falling behind on his homework due to his Robin responsibilities. “I don’t know, I’m really busy right now…”

“Please, Tim,” begged Alex. “Just come to today’s rehearsal. It’s right after class. Give it a shot, and if you hate it, I’ll figure something else out. But please, one rehearsal.”

Tim hesitated a moment longer, but the pleading in Alex’s eyes got to him. He never could help being useful. “Okay, one rehearsal.”

---

The moment Tim entered the auditorium, Alex waved to him. “Tim! You made it, awesome. Come on, let me introduce you to Mrs. V.”

Before Tim could do more than say, “Hi,” back, Alex grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the front of the auditorium.

“Mrs. V! This is Tim.”

Tim smiled up at the woman and held out his hand just as his mother had taught him. “Nice to make your acquaintance, Ma’am.”

She looked to be in her late thirties and had bushy black hair and dark eyes. She cocked her head at him, but shook his hand. “You look awfully young to be in high school, Tim. Will your parents mind you staying late?”

“I skipped a grade,” said Tim, brushing past the question like he always did. Starting high school at barely thirteen was unusual enough, and he was small for his age. “And I’ll be talking it over with them tonight to see if I can make it work.” An utter lie, of course. Tim’s parents wouldn’t be home for a few weeks yet. But they made a good excuse. “I’ll be able to let you know tomorrow for sure.”

“And, Alex, you really think he’ll be able to learn everything?”

Alex was nodding before she’d even finished speaking. “Yep. He might be a freshman, and a young one at that, but he’s brilliant. He was in the journalism club in middle school, right?” Alex waited for Mrs. V to nod before continuing. “So their teacher brought them to the high school to get a look at our recording studio here. Tim figured out the equipment in, like, ten minutes. To the point where he was correcting Dave last year’s president of the high school club. We’ve integrated nearly all of his suggestions into our broadcasts this year.”

Her eyes widened, and she looked at Tim with much more interest. “Then I hope your parents let you join us,” she said.

Tim didn’t let his expression slip and wondered what his parents would say if he ever bothered to ask their permission. Oh, who was he kidding? They wouldn’t care so long as it didn’t interfere with his school image.

“As I’m sure you’ve heard, I’m Mrs. Vasilakis, but most students just call me Mrs. V. Today we’ll be doing a run through of the show from top to bottom with scripts in hand so Alex can show you what he does and you can get used to the show. We’re doing Next to Normal, are you familiar with it?”

Tim shook his head. “I don’t know many musicals, I’m sorry.”

She waved him off. “Well, I hope we can get you interested. Alex, I can give you twenty minutes to show him the controls while I corral this group and get them warmed up.”

“Thanks, Mrs. V! Come on, Tim. You can toss your backpack down on any empty seat.”

Tim did as instructed and followed Alex to the back of the auditorium.

Alex led him to a small door with a “Do Not Enter” sign hung on it. He pulled out a key and unlocked the door. “Mrs. V lets me keep the key, though she might want you to get it from her every time. I guess they had issues a few years back with people sneaking up here. Something was stolen or broken or something and since then admin refuses to allow students open access.”

Tim nodded his understanding, but a glance at the lock proved it was as cheap as they came. He didn’t know how it worked to actually keep anyone out.

The door led to a narrow stairway and at the top was a room just large enough for the lights, their controls, and two chairs. Alex sat in one and gestured Tim to the other.

“Home, sweet, home,” said Alex grinning. “So, you ever seen any of this stuff before?”

“Some of it,” admitted Tim. Enough of the Gotham rogues had a flare for the dramatics that he’d seen some weird light shows, even if he hadn’t been on the job that long yet. “But I’ve never been in charge of it.”

“Still better than I could say when I started. We’ve tried to keep things labeled pretty clearly so that helps. These dials are the over head lights, these are over stage lights, spotlights. The set up here is pretty good for a high school, but we’re still limited in what we can do. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a professionally performed play or musical, but don’t worry. We won’t be doing anything nearly so fancy.”

“I haven’t, actually,” commented Tim. He thought he had it all figured out, but it would be good to see everything in action. “I think my mom likes plays, but I’ve never gone with her. I think she is afraid I’d struggle sitting quietly for that long.”

“Would you?”

Tim laughed. “Probably a year or two ago. I’d be good now. But back on topic, what’s most important?”

“Right, yeah. Of course that’s what you want to know. Basically make sure anyone who is speaking has a light on them. And that anyone who is on stage can be seen, even if they’re in shadow. This show isn’t the worst, but there are a few moments where multiple characters are singing in contrast to each other. And if we can show the space between them while still lighting them, it’d be great.”

“I… what?” Tim had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

Alex grimaced. “I suppose that doesn’t make sense—“

A loud piercing whistle sounded from below them.

“Well, you’ll see when we get into it. Just watch what I do, yeah?”

Tim shrugged again. “Sure. I’m good at learning on my feet.”

Alex grinned. “It’s why I’m begging you to do this!” He watched the stage a minute and nodded to himself. “Okay, we’re gonna lower all the lights. You always start in dark. This is how we do that.”

Tim watched intently, taking even more notes, as Alex deftly adjusted dials until everything sat in darkness.

Then Alex turned on a spotlight, showing a boy a girl—playing a mother and son—arguing before the boy stormed out of the house. Then the girl started singing about her family. When she reached the line about her daughter, “And my daughter though a genius is a freak,” another spotlight turned on and Tim watched as Alex pointed it at a different girl sitting at a table with a textbook and papers spread in front of her.

He cringed when he heard the mom character say, “I’m going to have sex with your father,” and decided he didn’t really care about the story. Instead he focused on following Alex’s actions. The daughter took over the song, so Alex turned off the light on the mother.

Soon enough, four actors were on stage, trading off lines as they sung about it being “just another day.” And Tim understood what Alex was doing. Each had a spotlight on them, but the shadows were deep between the characters because they didn’t seem to like each other very much, even if they were a family.

Soon it was hard to even follow the words with everyone singing together. Tim really didn’t think he was going to like the show. He had his own struggles with his family and with Bruce. He didn’t really want to watch a fictional family’s struggles.

Whatever, he didn’t have to enjoy himself today.

So he tuned it out. He focused on how Alex played with the lights to make sure everything could be seen. He watched the difference between solos and ensemble moments. When spotlights were used versus lighting the whole stage.

Despite Tim’s best attempts, he couldn’t help but learn about the family. The daughter, Natalie, was the character he liked the most. The son, Gabe, was just an asshole. The dad, Dan, was trying to hold everything together and failing miserably. And the mom, Diana, was falling apart as badly as Bruce and they couldn’t seem to find a good treatment for her.

But all of that was just background to the lighting techniques he was learning. Then when Diana came out with a birthday cake for Gabe, Dan had to take her to the side and remind her that “he’s been dead, sixteen years,” and Tim stopped breathing.

”He’s not here.” echoed in Tim’s ears.

His blood ran cold, and he stared at the stage is shock. The reveal had been a complete surprise, but suddenly so much about the show made sense. And yet all Tim could think of was Bruce, still clinging to the memory of Jason, putting himself—and all of Gotham—at risk in the process.

“You all right?” whispered Alex.

“Huh?” Tim shook his head to reorient himself. His heart was beating too fast. Why was he reacting so strongly? But all he could hear were the words, “He’s not here,” repeating in his mind. Tim forced a smile just as his mother had taught him, though. “Oh, yeah. Of course. Just didn’t expect that.”

Alex laughed even as the music turned more upbeat, the tone jarring compared to the one before. He turned the lights up to match the new tone. “One of the best twists in a musical in my opinion. Forgot you wouldn’t know to expect it.”

Tim just hummed as Diana took center stage again. Her words, “Do you know what it’s like to die alive,” made him cross his arms and clench his fists around his shirt. Why was it that despite the actors in front of him, all he could see was Bruce throwing himself into fight after fight?

But Diana was worse than Bruce. She still had a daughter. One who was still a kid and relied on her. Didn’t she care? He forced himself to tune out her words and returned to taking notes on what Alex did.

He managed well enough until Natalie’s next song came on. Her first three lines went by, worming their way into his head until, “She’s not there,” made him stop.

All he could do was stare at the stage as the girl sang. Each line seemed to hit harder than the last.

“He’s immortal, forever alive. Then there’s me.”

The actress filled every line with a resigned desperation for something, anything, to be different. Tim’s breath froze in his chest. Was his heart still beating? He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, but somehow the words from the stage broke through even that.

“He’s your hero, forever your son. He’s not here. I am here.”

His eyes burned, and he bit his cheek to give himself something else to focus on.

Then Diana tried to comfort Natalie. “You know I love you. I love you as much as I can.”

Tim clenched his fists hard to hide their shaking even as Natalie threw her arms up in frustration on the stage. Why was he reacting so strongly? He wasn’t the same as Natalie. Bruce wasn’t his dad so it didn’t matter if Bruce couldn’t even look at him half the time. He had parents. They might not be home right now, but they loved him. They did.

He wasn’t Natalie.

“Please look closely and find her before she fades away!”

Tim barely heard the rest of the song. Was he breathing? He needed to breathe. He let out a shaky breath.

“Tim? You sure you’re good?”

He needed to focus. His mom would be so disappointed in him. He smiled, just like he’d learned to do for the galas he’d been forced to attend from the age of five. “Of course, Alex. Sorry. I just didn’t realize how good a singer Rose is.”

Alex grinned. “Yeah. She’s really good. Got the role of Natalie as a junior if you can believe it.” He paused speaking to adjust more lights. “Are you following what I’m doing?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

Compartmentalize. Tim could do this. He’d been doing it for years. And he’d only gotten better at it since becoming Robin.

The next song, sung by Gabe again, made his heartbeat ratchet back up. Tim hated Gabe for reasons he couldn’t articulate even to himself. But hearing the ghost of the dead son sing about how he was alive as he danced around his mom, crowding her, had Tim biting his cheek so hard he tasted blood. He stopped, closed his eyes for two seconds, and focused again on what Alex was doing. On the way the lights followed Gabe as he haunted, taunted, the rest of his family in turn.

He’d get through this. He’d promised one rehearsal and that’s what he’d get through. Tomorrow he’d say he couldn’t do it.

Even as all the characters begged, “Catch me I’m falling,” Tim focused on just learning his job. When Dan and Diana blew off Natalie’s recital, he clenched his fist, but kept his breathing steady.

Alex didn’t ask if he was okay, just kept up a quiet stream of instructions.

Diana’s failed suicide, done at the behest of Gabe’s ghost, reminded him of all his nightmares of being too late and finding Bruce’s body broken and bloody one day when trying to follow him on patrol. The nightmares that always made him wake screaming.

Tim forced himself not to think of Alfred when Dan sang about standing with his “feet right on the ground” whenever Diana went off flying. He ignored the way Dan wished for someone to give him a lift. And if Tim’s breath caught when Dan sang his was “just a slower suicide,” it didn’t matter because Alex didn’t notice. He just focused on how Alex softened the lights to make the scene more melancholy.

Finally, after Diana agreed to ECT at Dan’s pleading, Alex turned the lights all the way down, then all the way back up.

“And this is the end of act one! What do you think so far?”

Tim swallowed and shrugged. “I didn’t realize they made musicals like this. Are they common?”

“This one was pretty groundbreaking when it came out. More recently, we’ve got Be More Chill and Dear Evan Hansen. But I’ll tell you a secret, I like this one way more.”

Tim hummed and looked over the lighting equipment. “It’s definitely intense. They’re doing a good job.”

“Yep. So for the real show, intermission will last about twenty minutes. Three minutes before curtain, you’ll want to dim the lights briefly to warn people to get back to their seats. Right now, Mrs. V is going to talk to the actors and give some pointers for a few minutes. Give everyone a chance to catch their breaths. Need the bathroom?”

Tim shook his head.

“Then what questions do you have for me?”

Over the next few minutes, Tim made sure to ask any question he could think of. By the time Mrs. V let out another whistle to call everyone to their places, Tim was pretty sure he could manage lighting for the rest of the show. Though when Alex took up the position, Tim didn’t fight him.

No reason to seem too eager when he wouldn’t be taking the project on.

The next act started and Tim tried to pay minimal attention to the musical. Though when the characters realized Diana had amnesia from the treatment and Dan decided the proper response was to just not mention their son, he couldn’t hold back a snort.

Amusement that died in his throat when Natalie revealed what life had actually been like for her. At least he couldn’t draw any parallels there. Neither his parents nor Bruce had been present enough in his childhood to screw his up the way Diana had screwed over Natalie’s.

When Diana finally remembered her son, Tim expected the breakdown.

He couldn’t help but feel for Natalie as she left the house again to get into trouble. Memories of nights spent in Gotham when he was way too young threatened to overtake him.

He managed to push through it and get himself back under control by focusing on Alex’s actions. He paid vague attention to the musical, too invested in the story to fully ignore it. But he directed most of his focus to Alex. So many of the songs started with one character before changing to another, so he’d have to learn them well enough to know when to switch the lights as each person took over.

Diana’s therapist begged her to stay a patient, to not give in to her depression. But it was clear she’d had enough. Would Bruce give up one day? Decide to stop fighting and let himself die?

Only…it turned out Diana wasn’t fully giving up on life. She apologized to Natalie who was clearly caught between finding it too little, too late and hope that this time might be real.

He couldn’t help the ache he felt when Natalie and Diana agreed that a life “next to normal” would work just fine for them.

Tim knew what it was like to strive for a normal life. One where his parents were home. One where he was told “good job” when he did well on a school assignment or finally figured out how to do that flip.

Maybe it was time to give up that dream, though. Be like Natalie and settle for something else. The thought made his eyes burn, but he pushed it aside.

Surely Diana didn’t have to leave just for everyone to find a way to heal? Wasn’t there a way for them to figure it out together?

But Diana left and everyone, even Gabe, seemed to find a measure of peace.

Then Alex turned the lights down again until the entire auditorium was in darkness once more.

Mrs. V began clapping and called out “Well done, everyone!”

Alex turned all the lights back on and leaned back in his chair as Mrs. V addressed the actors.

“So, any more questions for me?” asked Alex.

---

“How was your extracurricular, Master Tim?” asked Alfred when Tim slipped into the passenger seat.

Tim shrugged and pretended he wasn’t still shaking inside from the music. “It was all right. But I think I’ll have to tell Alex I can’t do it. Just so busy, you know?”

Alfred tutted. “If you want to do it, we can make the time. Master Dick had his gymnastics meets. And Master Ja—”

Alfred cut himself off and Tim looked out the window. So many conversations ended that way in the manor. But he remembered Dan’s song about needing someone to lift him up. “You can talk about him, you know. To me. If you need to.” Tim didn’t look at Alfred as he spoke, just continued staring out the window.

“Thank you, Master Tim.”

The rest of the car ride passed in silence as Natalie’s refrain, “I’m not here,” echoed in Tim’s head. He focused on keeping his breathing steady and his hands still. He was fine.

When they got to the manor, Tim took over his corner of the dining room table and pulled out his homework. Laptop set up on an angle to his left, papers on his right. Start with math because that was the easiest.

Only he couldn’t focus on the numbers at all. For possibly the first time in his life, they didn’t make sense.

Catch me I’m falling.

Tim grit his teeth and grabbed his headphones. Maybe if he just listened to the soundtrack again, the songs would get out of his head?

He started it from the beginning. His pencil tapped against his papers in time to the beat. When he got to Natalie’s song, even his pencil stilled as he stared unseeing at his homework.

Then Gabe started singing “I’m Alive!” and Tim grabbed his phone and jabbed the back button. He couldn’t. He couldn’t listen to that one.

Natalie singing about being invisible might cause his hands to shake and his heart to beat hard, but it was better. He stared at his phone, watching the lyrics pass by. When the final words appeared, he jabbed the single repeat button to make sure he wouldn’t be jump scared again by Jason’s, Gabe’s song.

He had no idea how many times he’d listened to “Superboy and the Invisible Girl” when Alfred cleared his throat behind him. “How is your homework going, Master Tim?”

Only his months of training kept him from jumping in his seat. He looked over his math and realized he’d only managed to get through two problems. “Going great, Alfred. What’s up?”

Alfred raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t call him out on his lie. “Dinner is nearly ready. Why don’t you put away your things and help me carry it out?”

“Of course! I’ll be right there. Just give me two minutes.”

Alfred smiled and clasped his shoulder. “Take your time. I’ll go inform Master Bruce.”

Tim nodded as he gathered up his papers and closed his laptop. Within moments, his things were neatly packed and his backpack hidden in the hallway closet.

Dinner at Wayne Manor was as awkward as they all were. Tim sat two seats away from Bruce and kept quiet. The first time he’d eaten here, Tim had tried to ask Bruce about his day, but Bruce merely stared at him for an entire minute before grunting and going back to his food. Tim hadn’t tried again.

He should’ve refused the ride home and taken the three buses and a cab that it took to get from Gotham to Bristol. Then he could’ve eaten in his own home. At least there it was silent because no one else was around rather than whatever this mess was.

Through it all, he could hear the echo of Natalie’s song. He felt invisible sitting there in complete silence.

With no conversation and all three of them focused on their plates, Tim finished eating within ten minutes.

“Would you like anything else, Master Tim?”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

Bruce grunted. “Then report to the cave. I need to debrief you before tonight’s patrol. And I want to evaluate where you are in your training.”

Tim jumped to his feet. “Of course. I’ll bring my dishes to the kitchen and head right down.”

The debrief was boring. Edward Nygma had escaped Arkham, so Bruce had Tim review several of his old riddles. Tim had kept up with those when they had happened and really didn’t learn anything new. The Riddler’s cases had always interested him the most.

Not that he said anything of course. From the direction of Jason’s memorial, he could hear the echo of the words, “I’m alive!”

If one thing could be said for training, it was that it required enough of his focus to drown out Jason’s voice. Bruce hit hard and fast and scolded whenever Tim wasn’t able to dodge. But it was fine. He was getting better.

To his surprise, when they finished, Bruce merely grunted at him and turned away to change into his suit. Tim must’ve done really well, and he bit back a smile. Usually they spent at least ten minutes going over everything Tim had done wrong.

Patrol itself started fine. They were looking for leads on Nygma, but in the meantime just stopped anything they came across. The euphoria of patrol chased away the echo of any songs that might have haunted him otherwise.

Everything was going fine. Until Tim saw a woman in scrubs getting cornered in an alley by three large men. He looked around, but Bruce was already two streets away. “Batman?” he asked over comms.

“Hurry up, Robin.”

Tim bit his lip and debated following, but then the woman began begging. “No, please. I promise I don’t have anything.”

“You’ve got a phone, don’t you?” asked one of the men as he took another step forward.

“And even if not, bet there’s something else we could get from you.”

Tim did not like the smile on the second speaker’s face. Mind made up, he shot his grappling hook and swung down, making sure to land on Asshole #2’s shoulder’s, knocking him to the ground.

“Pretty sure she said she’s got nothing for you. Why don’t you leave her alone?” He stood on the asshole’s back.

“Shit, it’s the kid!”

“Where’s the bat?”

“Get offa me!”

Tim jumped off #2’s back as the man pushed himself up. Dick’s acrobatic training meant he landed on his feet, and Shiva’s training had him pulling out his staff and extending it into the man’s stomach as he did.

While #2 was bent over trying to regain his breath, Tim swung it to the left to get the Asshole #1. The woman, meanwhile, pulled out a canister of pepper spray and got the third directly in his face.

Tim grinned at her. “Thanks, ma’am!”

“I should be thanking you, Robin. Glad to see you back out on the streets!”

The pepper spray victim collapsed to the ground and was scrubbing his face, leaving Tim with just two to take down. He managed to get both incapacitated quickly and zip-tied their hands behind their backs.

He was finishing with their ankles when he heard, “Robin,” from behind him.

Shit, that was definitely Bruce’s I’m-not-happy voice. Tim forced a grin and turned. “Hiya, B!” he said, just as he’d heard Dick or Jason do when they were in trouble on patrol. “You missed the fun.”

Only, unlike with Jason and Dick, Bruce’s jaw tightened and his hand clenched into a fist.

But he didn’t say anything. So Tim turned back to the woman. “Want me to escort you home? How much farther do you have?” He knew Bruce wouldn’t be happy with that, either, but he couldn’t just leave her.

“Just two blocks more. Would you mind?”

“Not at all!” Tim turned to Bruce, still grinning. “You can call this in, right? I’ll be right back!”

“Robin!” barked Bruce.

“Yeah?” Tim pretended to have no idea Bruce was upset. He was shaking inside, but he was Robin right now. And Robin was brave and bright, no matter how scary Batman was.

“You do not wander off.”

So Tim cocked his head. “Oh, you want to come, too? I’m sure that’ll make Ms…” he looked at the woman curiously.

“Emma,” she supplied.

“Ms. Emma feel even safer. Are the cops on their way for these three jerks?”

Batman grunted and Tim’s grin grew.

In a stage whisper, he told Emma, “That’s Batman’s ‘yes’ grunt. Let’s go. These three will hold until the police get here.”

Emma laughed and led the way down the street. “I’m gonna be the safest person in Gotham, then. Thanks, Robin, Batman.”

“So, Ms. Emma, do you work at the hospital nearby?”

“Yep. I’m a night shift nurse. Usually I drive to and from, but my car’s in the shop. And I’m only a twenty minute walk from work. Thought I could risk it for one day.”

Tim nodded. “That’s how they get you.”

Emma laughed and ruffled his hair. “You’re absolutely right. I’ll just wait until one of my coworkers can give me a ride home tomorrow.”

“How much longer until your car is ready?”

Emma sighed. “I don’t get paid until Friday. Then I can authorize the work to start.”

Tim hummed in sympathy, but was already making plans to track down Emma’s name and figure out which mechanic she used. Surely it’d make sense for Robin and Batman to pay her bill after helping her out. And a bit extra to move it to the top of the line.

Tim asked Emma about her work and she regaled him with stories from a Gotham ER for the rest of the walk. Bruce stalked silently behind them.

When Emma stopped in front of an apartment complex, she turned to face Tim. “Thanks for walking me home, Robin.”

“Anytime, Ms. Emma.”

She leaned down and hugged him tightly. Tim’s eyes widened in shock at the sudden warmth. His heart beat hard in his chest and he could feel every point of contact like it burned. Just as he realized he should lift his arms and hug her back, though, she was pulling away.

“Good night, Robin! And you, Batman.”

Bruce just grunted, and Tim wanted to roll his eyes. “Good night to you, too. Stay safe!”

“I will, thanks to you.” She waved as she unlocked the door and disappeared inside.

“Batmobile, now.”

Tim bit back a sigh. “Of course, Batman,” he said. He didn’t bother pretending to be cheerful now that they didn’t have an audience.

Bruce spun and shot his grappling hook, swinging away. Tim followed on his heels. Tim knew he was in for a scolding, but didn’t dare dally on the trip over.

When he got to the alley, Bruce was waiting next to the driver’s side door. He grunted and gestured for Tim to get in.

Tim’s hand didn’t shake as he opened the door, but his stomach felt like lead, and he knew it was only long practice at hiding his nerves that kept it steady. Bruce slid into the driver’s seat and pulled out.

Even with his gloves on, Tim could tell Bruce was gripping the steering wheel as tightly as possible. And his jaw was clenched shut in displeasure. Tim bit his lip, unable to break the silence that settled in the car.

Silence that stretched for long minutes. Tim began to hope he’d be able to avoid the lecture he knew was brewing.

Then Bruce opened his mouth. “What was that?” His voice was cold and hard.

“What? Saving a woman?” Tim pretended he wasn’t shaking inside.

Bruce practically growled at him. “You disappeared!”

Tim kept his back straight and kept his eyes trained on the road ahead. He would not react to the anger directed his way. Keep it straightforward and factual, like giving a report. “A woman was being harassed by three men. They didn’t even have a gun and you were a block and a half ahead already. I knew it’d be a quick intervention so I intervened.”

“You do not go off on your own, ever.”

“I had it handled, Batman—”

“I don’t care! You always ask for backup before entering into combat situations. What if one of them had a hidden gun?”

“I know how to fight against opponents with firearms.” Tim kept his voice steady no matter how much he wanted to shout back.

“You can’t keep running off, Jason!”

Both of them froze. Tim stared straight ahead, every muscle tense, just waiting for Bruce to say something else. The buildings raced past them as they rapidly approached the end of the street.

Only Bruce didn’t hit the breaks. And the building across the street was getting closer.

“Watch the road!” screamed Tim.

Bruce cursed and jerked the wheel, just barely managing to follow the turn of the road rather than slam into the building. Tim had to his arm to keep from banging his head against the side window as his seatbelt dug into his chest.

Once they were back on the road and traveling at a more reasonable speed, Bruce spoke again. “Tim—”

“Don’t.” Tim gripped his uniform over his heart. His throat was tight and his eyes burned and he couldn’t get that damn song out of his head. He wanted to collapse forward, rest his head between his knees and just breathe, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the road, terrified Bruce would get distracted again. “Just. Don’t.”

For once, Bruce listened. The rest of the ride to the cave passed in silence.

The moment the car pulled to a stop, Tim was out the door. He stomped over to the changing area and began stripping out of his uniform. He needed it off.

“Master Tim? Are you all right?”

“Fine, Alfred,” said Tim.

“What happened? Do I need to check you for injuries? Or Master Bruce?”

Tim grit his teeth, but shook his head. “We’re both just peachy.” Tim ripped off his under layer, stripping down to his boxers. “See?” He spun so Alfred could see he had no new injuries.

Alfred’s eyes narrowed as he took in Tim’s body. “Very well,” he said after a pause.

Tim grabbed a mostly clean shirt and pair of jeans from his locker and pulled them on. “I’m going home now.”

“Let me prepare you a small after patrol snack before you do,” said Alfred.

“Not hungry.” Tim’s stomach was still in knots. He could see the brick wall getting closer through the windshield and feel the jerk as Bruce had to turn too hard to keep them from crashing.

Alfred opened his mouth, but closed it again with a sigh and nodded. “Very well, Master Tim. Thank you for joining us for dinner tonight.”

Tim nodded his acknowledgment, though he regretted ever agreeing, and grabbed his skateboard out of his locker. He’d changed so quickly that Bruce was only now approaching the changing area himself. Tim straightened his back and looked Bruce in the eyes. “I will report to the cave at twenty-two hundred hours for tomorrow’s patrol.”

Then, before Bruce could do more than nod, he tossed down his board and jumped on. Twenty minutes later, he was in his own room at Drake manor and climbing into a shower, heat turned up so high it was almost scalding.

It still didn’t make him feel as warm as a stranger’s hug.

And finally, in the privacy of his own house, with three locked doors between himself and the world, Tim collapsed to his knees and cried.

---

Alex was waiting for him when he got off the bus at school the next morning.

“Hey, Tim! Have you made your decision yet?”

And Tim thought about leaving school and going back to an empty mansion with his parents who-knows-where or to Wayne Manor and another awkward dinner.

He opened his mouth to say he couldn’t, that he was too busy.

“Sure, Alex. I’d love to.”

-----

And that's chapter 1! Hope you enjoy!

Totally look up some of the songs from Next to Normal. They hit hard. Especially when imposed on the bats.

[ohmygawdyoufoundnemo]

She Plays Bass

Bangchan x reader

•Part 1•

(Brief mention of 'noona', which means older female sibling or older sister in Korean, only because I am a couple of years older than Chan. If you're not a noona, don't worry too much. I just hope you enjoy this read while you're chilling🙏🏻)

EDIT: I made a few changes to this part, especially when I messed up with the whole start of the DominATE tour thing.

Y/N has hit the jackpot when passing her audition and joins Stray Kids on their world tour. But what happens when the leader meets the new girl?

✨

With the adrenaline still pumping through my veins from this whole morning, my leg starts to jiggle up and down waiting impatiently for my mum to pick up her phone. I could scream right now.

“Hello, darling. Are you on your way home?”

“Hi. Yeah I’m on the bus now.”

“Well, how did it go? Did they like you? Did you get it? Actually, tell me when you get back, ok? I’m just shopping at the moment.” I honestly feel like I could burst into tears, one: because I’ve just been running, which I never do, and two: the best news I could get after trying so hard to discover myself and where I want to be. I’m going on tour! Little old me is going to be playing to thousands of people worldwide!

“Ok. I’ll be home soon. Love you ma.”

“Love you too sweetheart.” We hang up and I could literally scream the roof of the bus apart. It seems too surreal to be true. After stressing so much this whole week about this audition, not being able to sleep and wondering what to play, it’s finally come fruition and a weight has just been lifted from my shoulders. The company came to London from South Korea for the auditions for new touring musicians for their groups, and now I’m going to be one of them! But the thing is, I have no idea what band I’ll be playing for or even when.

Later on that night over dinner, I tell mum of the events and some mishaps of everything that happened. She almost broke a rib or two pulling me into a hug when I told her that I would be officially touring with a band once I hear back from my agent.

“That is so exciting! My baby going into the world. I’m so happy for you!” She gives another big squeeze, swaying us from side to side just as my phone vibrates in my back pocket. “Oh! Who is it?” she asks before pulling away and cleaning up the dining table.

“I think it’s them. I’ll be right back. Hello?”

"Hello Y/N, it's Anna." My agent’s voice rang through the phone, easing the butterflies in my stomach for a moment.

“Hi Anna, how are you?”

“I’m very good! I also wanted to congratulate you on your audition today, they absolutely loved you! And we have a position lined up for you.”

“That’s great!” Already? That was quick!

“I just want to give you some more information about the success of your audition and going forward, within the company all travel and accommodation expenses are paid for so you don’t have to worry about anything. And, of course, if you have any insurance with your equipment we can help with that as well.“ This really is too good to be true! “With that being said, we would like to join us in Seoul for the start of the tour.”

Wait. What? SEOUL?!

“When? Is there a date when I would have to be there for rehearsals? Sorry, I’m a bit jittery.”

“That is ok. Rehearsals will be on the twenty-third of this month but we would like you to spend some time with us and the rest of the band around the fifteenth.” My feet instantly carry me to my room where they stop in front of my calendar. That’s in six days! “You will have time to explore a little bit of Seoul with one of our guides, you will also have your own hotel room set up, you will of course have the choice to explore the city on your own but in regards to security it would be...” I think I blanked out everything else Anna was saying. My ears were ringing, I was getting light headed looking around at all of my stuff in my bedroom. I’m going to South Korea to start a world tour with a band I don’t even know. Six days. Six days until I leave my home to bed hop in hotel rooms around the world for god knows how long! “So, what do you say?”

Before I can even think about my answer, my mouth opens, “Absolutely!” Shit! How much stuff should I pack?!

“That’s great news! Before I go, do you have any questions you would like to ask?”

“Is it alright to ask, the band that I’ll be playing with or for...”

“Ah, yes! I thought you’d might ask. Usually we don’t disclose this information until closer to the time but since you signed a contract with the company and will be joining us very soon there are no issues. So you will be rehearsing and being a touring musician for Stray Kids.”

~

Six days came and went so quickly that I could barely focus on anything. I nearly forgot my carry-on luggage, headphones and even my iPad which has all the bass and synthesiser recordings on it. Luckily my mum helped me with the checklist, knowing very well that I will forget something, before leaving me at the airport with Anna. Speaking of whom, after a very long journey, we are on our way to the hotel. Each part of this experience is so fast-paced with no time to take in the huge shift this has made to my life that I almost cocoon myself in my hoodie in the backseat of the car, yet the sight of the KSPO Dome won’t allow me to stay slumped for too long as Anna points out the venue from where we’ve stopped at the traffic lights.

“It’s huge!” I say to her in Korean, turning to Anna like an excited child seeing Christmas lights for the first time. She laughs at me. The thing about Anna is she’s also my agent as I was struggling to find any gigs in the past three years. The audition was like a big break for me to finally do something I love. She had also been the one to encourage me to learn Korean, when we first started talking while I attended college she had only learned the basics in English not too long before. So to save her more hardship and to learn something new, I took up a side quest to learn her language and she’s just embraced me and shares her culture with me.

“Wait until we get inside in a couple of days.” She says just as she goes to answer her phone. As we get closer, I pull on my Dr. Martens trying my best not to get dirt on the seat as well as getting concussed by the front passenger seat.

The butterflies are throwing up in my stomach.

~

I couldn’t close my mouth as I gawked out the window overlooking the city lights of Seoul. Every day since I’ve been here, I’ve done the same thing, wake up early to gawk at the sunrise, have breakfast, message my mum for a little while, stare out the window whilst getting dressed or brushing my teeth for my scheduled day with Anna, taking picture after picture of the tourist attractions. My legs hurt so much but it’s so worth it!

How am I here? Well, I know how but it’s like an out-of-body experience standing here in a hotel room, in a dream, on the same floor as Stray Kids. Rehearsals are tomorrow and my stomach is doing somersaults.

~

I’m still rubbing the sleep from my eyes, my body is too tired from the adventures I've had so far in the past three days to lug around my bass guitar on my back. I’m being lead through the maze of a hallway in the arena by a member of staff. Plus I hadn’t slept too well last night, I miss my mum, my cat, now I miss Anna but she’s a busy woman but I’m now left to my own sleepy devises at rehearsals and meeting everyone. I had already met the rest of my band the other night over dinner. They’re so cool and so welcoming! I also met the stylists for tonight which woke me up a little bit more after seeing my outfits for the next week. Chef’s kiss!

The engineers help me with setting up my equipment and my ear pieces that there's no time to really take in the gargantuan size of the dome. I hear the drums, guitar and keyboard echoing throughout the stadium, the sound of the music reverberating against the walls finally made the realisation hit me. I am but one small person which by tonight will be playing to thousands of people.

As reality sinks in, the cluster of instruments being tested in my ear pieces seems soothing the moment I lock them in.

~

The members were getting ready to go to the stage, the stylists getting everything prepared for later on tonight, their manager rushing about making sure everything is all good to go for rehearsals, Bangchan was writing little messages to STAYS on Bubble with some comments making him smile and blush when out of nowhere, Han makes a noise in surprise which causes the others to look up at what he’s pointing to. Chan looks up to see Han gesturing to the TV that was switched on for background noise, it was filming live footage from the stage. Chan gulped down some saliva when he saw a new band member setting up, which didn't go unnoticed by other members of staff either.

Is it warm in here?

“Who’s that? Is that a new bass player NMixx?” I.N. asks while glancing between his phone and the TV. Chan knew the question was to no one in particular but he was taken back to respond. She was pretty, really pretty. The breeze flowing through her hair pushes some strands over her shoulder as the band plays a random tune, the boys stare in wonder only for a few seconds before the camera shot changes to a scope of the venue.

“She was pretty!” Han exclaims as he’s being set up with equipment for soundcheck and being handed a microphone.

“Stop staring!" Minho gently swats at Han, "You’re getting drool all over the carpet!” scuffing up Han’s bed hair, the member of staff helping Han adjust his monitor waiting patiently for them to stop slapping each other.

“Hyung,” Chan finally looks away from the TV too to see Felix holding his spare t-shirt. “Can I borrow this?”

“Sure, go ahead.” Who was she? He asks himself just as she comes up on the screen again. She looks over at the cameraman, shyly waving and smiling. Chan couldn’t help but notice the colour of her big round eyes. Uh oh.

“Wow! Never seen Chan-hyung with big heart eyes before.” Changbin says getting the boys attention, pumping his chest at his leader. Chan just glares at him, trying to keep him at arms length but ends up breaking into a red-faced laugh while chasing him around the room.

~

“If you need help with anything, give us a signal.” He says, making the gestures of signals but I get distracted when I feel eyes on me. I glance over the soundman’s shoulder to see the group of guy’s looking over at me. Through my ear piece just as one speaks into their microphone, I hear, “Hey! Hello.” One waves at me, followed by the others. I wave back as he walks closer with a huge smile. “I’m Han." They each wave again. "What’s your name?” I introduce myself in Korean which surprises them and makes me laugh. “WOW! Oh, are you our new bass player?”

I nod, just as a song starts he jogs away.

"Let's get it!" We start with S-Class and go into Superbowl. The flow is so good! Me and the boys are really happy with it. I sort out my bass synthesiser for the next song just as another member comes into my peripheral.

“Hi.” I feel my cheeks grow warm as he smiles at me.

“Hello.”

“That was really good but I can’t hear the bass so well in my ...”

“Oh, yeah. They said they’ve been having minor technical issues with it but it should be better for tonight.”

“Cool! Err.... I’m Chris, by the way.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” Is it really that warm out here?

“Hyung! Stop flirting with our new girl and get back here!” Minho yells away from the microphone causing Chan to shy away but ultimately wave at me with a ‘see you later’. Bangchan tackles Lee Know into a back hug with much retaliation.

This is going to be fun!

~

It’s been a couple of weeks since starting tour and it’s been amazing! Crazy busy with non-stop moving and airport travels and hotel bed hopping but other than that I can’t knock this experience. Especially since Stray Kids have taken me in. Almost every night we play, either Changbin, Han or mainly Felix come over and rock out with the band, hyping us up and wordlessly letting us know we were doing a great job.

Almost a month ago, I never would have thought I would be hanging with any of them, but usually Han comes over to play guitar with me playing songs before or after rehearsals. The chaos is real and it’s heart-warming to have so many people around who are so supportive and bring out the best chaos in you.

“Y/N noona?!” I glance up from my iPad taking out one of my airpods, I’m sat on the carpeted floor adjusting bass tones for the songs for the set to see Changbin sitting across from me, all dressed up for later on, which only reminds me that it’ll be my turn soon. Restless, full of bounding energy which he’s been told to save for tonight.

“Dwaeki?”

“Noona! I’m bored.”

“Where are the others?” I’ve only just noticed it’s just me, Changbin, I.N. and a couple of stylists in here. “How long have I been working?”

“Too long! Pay attention!” his whining makes me chuckle, I try to hide it to not upset him but he notices and starts getting irritable. “Stop laughing at me. I’m serious.” He starts smiling, not taking himself seriously.

“What do you want from me? What do you want to do?” he ponders for a moment.

“I don’t know. Help me!” while slumping his head on the table, he quickly retracts it with a small yet dramatic yelp in pain. I reach over to rub his forehead. He slaps the table as if offended which makes me laugh harder.

“Be careful Changbin! You want to be able to remember lyrics tonight.”

“Ah!” he pulls away with a sneaky look on his face. “NMixx.” He points to the live footage of NMixx on stage.

“What?” I ask as he quickly gets up and dances to the start of ‘Love Me Like This’. “I saw the video. You know it. Come on!”

“Absolutely not.” How did he know about that video?

“Noona! Noona! Noona!" I.N. starts chanting. Changbin pulls me up and before I know it, he’s filming us both dancing to the song, all while I.N. sits and watches. The others walk in just as me and Changbin finally finish. I must have gone red in the face when I saw Han and Bangchan just grinning.

“What’s going on?” Chan asks as I quickly go back to what I was doing before.

~

Changbin shows them the video of him and Y/N dancing along to NMixx. Bangchan sneaks a glance over at Y/N who’s too caught up in the new bass system that she’s been obsessed with for days now.

There’s a niggling feeling he just can’t shake off when he’s around her. He likes her a lot! She’s cool, amazing bass player and has a great flow with the band, she gets along really well the Kid's too. It’s like they just clicked, she takes care of them when he's too busy which gives him time to work or gives him a breather even just for a moment. She has a cool sense of style, right now she’s wearing her classic pink beanie, crop hoodie and black denim shorts and barefoot while sitting cross-legged at the table bobbing her head along to what she’s listening to whilst taking notes, there’s just something warm and natural about her. Even when she’s playing to thousands of STAYS, he’s always noticed that glow in her eyes while looking out at them, and her personality never changes. He recently saw a video shared around on TikTok of fans who had been watching our opening acts in quite an unbearable heat and while our set was being put together, she handed out extra water bottles for STAYS.

“Hyung?” Chan pulls his gaze away, not realising he’s probably been gawking at her for a bit, hoping that she didn't catch him doing it. He helps Felix adjust his necklace. “Hyung.” Chan hums in response to Felix as Y/N brings Seungmin his water bottle as he does his vocal warm-up just as Hyunjin tackles her in a side hug. “You’ve been quiet all day. Everything good?”

“Yeah. Really good.”

“You sure?” Felix asks peering over his shoulder with a little smirk, Chan couldn’t help but glance over at Y/N again to see her taking selfies with Hyunjin and Changbin. His heart flutters a little as she smiles at whatever Lee Know said about their poses which gets more of a response out of Changbin. “Why don’t you just tell her you like her?”

This brings Chan back to reality like a smack in the face.

“What are you talking about?” Felix gives him a knowing look. “I can’t just...do that. It’s complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be complicated." Felix turns around to see Y/N giggling at Changbin and Lee Know bickering, nearly breaking out into a play fight. "She won’t break your heart, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Of course Felix would say that. The Kids practically adore her.

Lee Know keeps her at arms length but respects her and is fond of her, and her comebacks to his playful insults catch him off guard most of the time, they're not mean but just as good. Changbin see’s her like a sibling, and now a dance partner or someone he challenges when he tries to tease her because she’s our noona which sometimes makes her feel bad yet they have a special bond. Hyunjin has shown her more of his artwork, he even made her a picture for her birthday which she adores and she’s shown him how to create his own music. Han adores her because she works hard to help us sound better on stage and how caring she is to us. Felix, well he isn’t shy to the fact that they’ve become close friends and dotes on her. Seungmin, like Lee Know, shows a lot of respect for noona. And I.N., if any one of them follows her like a lost puppy, apart from Felix or Changbin when he’s in the mood to bother her or simply wants her attention, it’s him.

But where does that leave him? Chan breathes out a sigh. They get along really well but something feels stagnant. He isn’t worried about her breaking his heart though, he’s more worried he’ll explode with professions of adoration and scare her away.

~

“Where are you going?!” Chan calls out as Y/N hurriedly takes out her earpieces and takes off her equipment. The Kid’s keeping a distance from the firing line.

“Out for a walk! Is that ok with you?! God!” Y/N storms off stage, snatching her jacket from it's place on the bass holder on the way out. The others stare cautiously between the two, seven pairs of eyes following Y/N as she disappears around the side stage, then over to their leader who is almost red in the face. Rehearsals just finished but throughout the set, things just kept going wrong which ended up with the soundcheck taking longer than usual. If Chan were to name a few, the boys were more chaotic as usual but for some reason it just got to him today, then the sound system kept messing up which messed up their queues and they had to restart the song, Han and Seungmin’s microphones kept glitching, then Y/N said she had forgotten her iPad backstage which has all pre-adjusted bass tones on it, that was the final straw in the span of the two hours since the minor late start to rehearsals, that’s when Chan snapped. Not at everyone or anything, but at Y/N.

This confused the Kid’s so much after the new revelation they had witnessed over the past few months between their leader and their new bassist.

The air was thick with tension and it wasn’t great to be around. The members were silent, waiting for Chan to make the first move. He took a few breaths before turning around as he removed his ear piece from under his beanie.

“Sorry hyung.” Some of them mumble as he takes off as well.

✨

*So that was Part 1, I hope you enjoyed it! I know it's looooong but I haven't written anything like this in 3 years so I may have gotten a little excited or enthusiastic to get this out of my system*

[rorywritesjunk]

So let's set out to sea, love, 'cause you are my medicine

Buggy has another frustrating day so you cook him some comfort food.

Rating: Eh, PG13 just to be safe. Warning: Just Buggy being whiny, is that a warning? Food cooks. Cheese gets grated. Buggy just feels appreciated but also mopes. Apparently I just want Buggy to have a bad day and be taken care of. A/N: Had fun writing this and it was hard not to post it immediately. I wanted to wait a bit. Title comes from "On Melancholy Hill" by Gorillaz.

The amount of yelling coming from inside the tent was worrisome. You debated whether you needed to investigate to make sure Buggy didn’t string up one of his freaks again because they missed their cue or the lighting was bad. He took rehearsal seriously and had no issue punishing anyone who he thought messed something up. It wasn’t pleasant, but you knew he was a perfectionist.

You were mostly safe from his screaming while you were in the kitchen. It’s not like you were hiding out there while your boyfriend screamed and shouted through rehearsal. You just happened to be making a grocery list and just as you were finishing up you heard the first bits of screaming and decided that maybe you needed to make sure the pots and pans were spotless just in case Buggy decided that was a problem.

The kitchen was only safe for ten minutes before Hurricane Buggy literally stormed in, kicking the door open before kicking a chair out of his way. You remained at the sink, scrubbing a large pot while he had his tantrum. You knew it was best to let him get it out of his system first before you intervened, and going by how he kicked the table, only to swear and stomp away from it after stubbing his toes, you decided he needed a comforting meal to feel better.

It was a good thing you cleaned the large pot because you filled it with water before placing it on the stove and turning on the burner. Buggy had grabbed the chair he had kicked away, pulled it back over, and sat himself down at the table he had already injured himself on. He crossed his arms in front of him and laid them on the table, his chin resting on his arms as he watched you move around. He saw you grab certain ingredients and if he wasn’t so frustrated he would have perked up at the anticipation of what you were making.

Instead he needed to feel frustrated for a bit longer.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what’s wrong?” He asked sulkily. “I thought girlfriends were supposed to look after their boyfriends when they’re upset.”

You salted the water as it heated up and put the lid on the pot. You turned to face him, wiping your hands on a dish towel as you smiled at him. “What’s wrong, Buggy?” 

He huffed in annoyance. “They keep fucking up out there. Everything starts to go well and then someone misses their mark, or there’s no dancing lion, or everything just goes to shit! How hard is it to hit your mark? I’m not asking for much, just asking for something like that!”

“Hm, that is frustrating.” You agreed as you tossed the towel over your shoulder. He watched you as you grabbed a spoon,  pepper, and some garlic powder. His foot started tapping impatiently on the floor as you set the items on the counter near the stove and checked the water. It wasn’t boiling just yet, and he wished it would hurry up. “I’m sorry it’s been frustrating today.”

He moved his arms off the table and let his head thunk against the hard surface. He looked pathetic, honestly, but you wouldn’t say that to his face. Instead you walked over to him and stood behind him, rubbing his shoulders gently as he shut his eyes, wanting to sink into your touch and forget everything that was driving him crazy that day. 

“Hey, wanna help me make dinner?” You asked as you leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “I’m making one of your favorites and I think it tastes better when you help.”

He didn’t really want to. He wanted to mope and whine some more, but if he helped it meant being close to you, and he liked that. You also wore that cute apron with the little green frogs on it that you bought shortly after joining his crew whenever you were cooking. Reluctantly, he nodded and stood up from the table. Sure enough, you were grabbing your apron down off the hook, placing the top straps over your head before securing it behind you. He walked over to you and reached out to touch the fabric, rubbing it between two fingers while you smiled up at him.

“You really like this one, you know. I should get you your own next time I go out.” You mused as you went to grab the cutting board and knife. “Now, do you want to be on noodle duty or do you want to cut up the hot dogs?”

He just shrugged, obviously still upset and mopey, so you gave him the bag of noodles and directed him to keep an eye on the water and to add the noodles when it started boiling. He knew how to make this dish. He helped you plenty of times, and while he was the Captain, used to telling others what to do, you knew that he also liked it when you bossed him around from time to time. 

Buggy kept looking between the boiling water and you. You had a pack of hot dogs open and were busy cutting two at a time, tossing the chunks into a bowl. Your skill with knives in the kitchen was impressive. Always smooth motions, the blade moving fast in your hand while the other guided the knife along the ingredients. He suggested once you perform knife tricks for his show, but cooking didn't really translate well for an audience in an arena.

He had also suggested you juggle the knives while cutting up vegetables in between each pass, but when you demonstrated your coordination by attempting to juggle three tomatoes and you both watched them fall to the ground, he decided to forgo the knife juggling act for you.

Once the water was boiling, he took the lid off and ripped open the package of pasta, dumping its contents into the pot. It was his favorite kind, pasta shaped like little stars. You bought it especially for him when he needed a pick-me-up. You always kept a bag or two on hand just in case, and he appreciated it. It was those little gestures like that that made him realize how much you cared for him. 

The hotdogs were ready and you needed to grate cheese next. You grabbed blocks of two different kinds and grabbed the grater, humming softly to yourself as you went to work. Deciding that the pasta would be fine without him staring at it for the entire ten minutes, Buggy came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your head as he watched you work. You adjusted your position just a bit, wanting him to be comfortable as you grated the cheese onto a plate. Once you had enough, you picked up a few bits and held it up for him as a snack. He took it without hesitation.

“How’s the pasta?” You asked as you started on the next block. You always grated more than you knew you needed for the recipe, knowing that Buggy would put extra on the already cheesy pasta. “How long has it been going for?”

“Just a few minutes.” He mumbled as he continued watching, hugging you tighter as the mountain of cheese got bigger. “I’ll check on it in a minute.”

“Mm, it needs to be stirred to keep from sticking together.” You reminded him as you held up another bit of cheese for him. “Can you go check on it please?”

The way you asked was just so damn kind and gentle. He didn’t deserve you. He reluctantly pulled away from you and went back over to the stove, sticking the spoon into the boiling water and giving the pasta a few stirs. It had started to clump a bit, so he tried his best to break it all up. 

You came over to him and took the spoon from his hand, giving it a few more stirs. “How long now?”

“Um, just a few minutes left, I think?” He wasn’t too sure. You captured a few of the noodles on the spoon and drained off excess water. You blew on it carefully, not wanting it to be too hot, before you held it up for him to try. He picked the bits of pasta off the spoon and tried it, making a bit of a face when he bit into the almost cooked pasta. “Yea, definitely a few more minutes. It’s nearly there.”

“Perfect, let’s add the hot dogs then.” You said as you nudged him out of the way and began to carefully toss in the chopped up bits of hotdog into the boiling water. “And once it’s all done, we’ll drain the water and mix in the cheeses.” You looked up at him with a smile. “Sounds good, right?”

He nodded and moved behind you once more, resuming his previous position of wrapping his arms around you as you worked. You were fine with it, especially because he didn’t get in the way. He was also just a bit taller than you, so he had no issue lifting the heavy pot of boiling water to dump it out if you asked him, whereas you sometimes struggled with it. You turned to look up at him, still smiling.

“Almost done, Buggy.” You told him. “Why don't you go sit down and I’ll bring you a plate?”

He nodded but didn’t move from his spot. He didn’t want to, because you were just being so damn kind and loving to him that he was starting to have thoughts of what he did to deserve you, because he sure as hell didn’t do this kind of stuff for you. What had he done to deserve this love and affection you had for him? You just knew what he needed when he needed it, and he didn’t even know that about himself. He just knew to react, to yell and scream about the problem, and you just looked at him and knew how to make him feel better. 

“Buggy?” Your voice shook him from his thoughts and he swallowed heavily and looked down at you. You reached up and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him down for a kiss. He let you, wrapping his arms back around you as you moved from his lips to the rest of his face, peppering kisses all over, and when you were done, you pressed three to his nose, lingering a moment before pulling back to finish up with the food. He was a little dazed from all that so you shooed him away to go sit down. 

He did as he was told and sat back at the table, watching you drain the pasta (with a bit of a struggle but you didn’t ask for his help), mix in half of the cheese into the pasta and hotdog mix, season it with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, and then serve a big helping of it onto a plate for him. You brought it over and set it in front of him before grabbing the extra cheese and a fork for him. Finally, you brought him a beer and sat down next to him, smiling as you reached over to touch his cheek.

“Eat up, Buggy.” 

He nodded and picked up his fork, looking down at his plate. “Thanks, babe.”

[s-4pphics]

i fucking love ur ballerina reader series dude ur like my new favorite writer rn ughhhh. can we pls get another part with a strap???

this is so sweet baby thank u!! and of course y’all can :3 

wc;cw: 1.06k uh oh, MDNI, reader being mean n nasty n a painslut we been knew that tho, her panties make a return slayyyy, some dirty talk, strap sucking, riding, choking, spanking, more breeding n daddy kink omg, spit🤭, ellie being obsessed??, slight dumbification again hehe, uh i think that’s it idk

you were having a very, very terrible day. 

your dance director had been grilling you about the small errors you made in your port de bras because he hates you(if you want to be the lead, act like it! you look sloppy!), and to put it frankly, you were seething. 

you ended up excusing yourself into the bathroom to calm yourself down so you could finish rehearsals in peace: you were literally about to kill somebody. you checked your phone as you patted the sweat off your forehead and paced, and—much to your delighted surprise—ellie sent you a little kiss emoji. your mood lightened slightly, she is so cute!

she promised that she would pick you up after rehearsals today so you could hang out at her apartment(u can spend the night if u wanna :p, she’d texted right after her first invite, not knowing your overnight bag was packed and waiting by your dorm door!), and you couldn’t wait to suck her dic—

the door pushed open and you jumped before the familiar voice of your roommate blurted out he's lookin' for you, baby, c'mon out! you rolled your eyes as you released a heavy sigh, discarding the damp cloth in the garbage, adjusting your black leotard and heading back into the dance studio to your instructor’s relentless berating. 

you were fucking pissed and sore as you waited on the curbside of the parking lot next to your dorm building. your instructor did not leave you the fuck alone for the remainder of your class. 

he’d been breathing down your neck the entire two hours, and you’d been this close to ripping the barre off the wall and bashing his head in with it. 

you had some time to run upstairs to you and your roommates shared space after rehearsals to take your ice bath and roll your leg and feet muscles out before ellie came to get you. 

a few minutes passed, and you heard the familiar stutter of ellie’s dented, rusted car pull up to you. she excitedly rolled her windows down with a bright squeal of hiii, baby! before she noticed the blank face on your cute ass face, watching you throw your bag on the floor of her car while you sat in the passenger's seat. 

“hey,” you said simply. 

“hi.. what happened?” she asked, brows pulled down in concern. 

“rehearsals sucked today, don’t wanna talk about it, to be honest.” 

“okay… you ready to go?” 

you only nodded as you turned the radio on, tears glossing your eyes. ellie said nothing, but she grabbed your hand in your lap and gave it a gentle squeeze as she pulled out of the parking lot. 

ellie held your hand in hers as she led you into her complex and onto the elevator, hitting the number ‘4’ as the doors shut. you leaned back against the wall and thudded your head against it with your eyes shut. you were so tired. 

“are you hungry? we can order whatever you want,” she asked softly as she leaned against the wall with you, pressing soft kisses into your clothed shoulder. 

you only nodded at her as she nuzzled you before a loud ding! rang through the enclosed space, silver doors opening to show the hallway. 

she grabbed your hand again and led you out the elevator, walking two doors down and unlocking her home. 

she pulled you in before she softly closed and locked the door behind you. 

she nodded towards her plush-looking couch with a small smile, “sit down and tell me what you wanna eat.” 

“ellie.” 

“mhm?” 

“where’s your dick?” 

and she damn near choked and died. whatthefuckwhatthefuck—

“where’s my… where’s my dick?” she replied, slurring slightly. 

“yeah.” 

ellie had your purple, sheer panties stuffed in her mouth as you rode the fuck out of her. 

the minute she guided you to her room and revealed her cleaned, navy blue strap shoved into her bottom drawer, you pounced on her. you’d pushed her onto the bed, tore her clothes off, and shoved your face between her legs without a word and she let you. you made her cum in your mouth with her shaky legs over your shoulders and your fingers inside her and she was losing her mind. after she nutted in your mouth, you silently reached for the dick and passed it to her, wordlessly ushering for her to put it on as you undressed yourself. 

she’d strapped it over her pussy, shuddering slightly whenever it brushed over her clit, before you pushed her down onto the bed, got on your knees, and sucked it into your mouth and ellie knew she was going to die she would die—

she doesn't even remember how the two of you got here, her bed was banging on the wall as you bounced on her, your hands balancing yourself on her knees, your propped up and your feet digging into her bed with your head thrown back. 

“y‘dick feels so fuckin’ good, daddy, fuck!” 

she couldn’t even say anything back to you, and it wasn’t because of your wet underwear in her mouth, but because she forgot how to fucking speak! if she couldn’t remember the alphabet how was she going to talk you through your nut! her eyes were rolled back and her hands were on your hips as her thumbnail dug into your little flower tat that she gave you and she was gonna cum so hard. she’d already came once in your mouth and another time when you first sat on her cock, but she felt this one building in her throat, all the way down to her toes oh shit oh shit—

you tore the panties out of her mouth before you moved to sit on your knees, grabbing her throat with both your hands, squeezing hard, forcing her to hold your intense gaze. 

“gonna cum inside your pussy, daddy? yeah? gonna make a mess in me?” 

she couldn’t speak due to how loud she was, only whining out weak ‘uh huh uh huhs’ as you grinded the strap onto her clit and she couldn’t sit still, so she slapped your ass hard and nodded fast because she was right there and it felt so good—

she barely noticed that her tongue had been sticking out dumbly before she felt you harshly grab her cheeks with your hand and spat a glob right on her tongue, small specks landing on her cheeks and she was cumming she was cumming!—

“fuuuck! fuckfuckfuck—uuggh!”

“yeahyeah, give it t’me, gimmegimmegimme!—“ 

ellie swore she was going to fucking faint. she hasn’t come this hard in her life since… ever! she mindlessly reached up to grab your tits as a grounding, but she accidentally ended up digging her nails into your nipples hard and you came so fast from that alone—

…you felt so much better afterwards!

[heartbreakgrill]

Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Pt. 5, "Is it cool that I said all that?"

A week passed, just like that. We had flown to Germany at the beginning of the next week, where we’d be for just fourteen days before we’d move onto France. 

Oliver and I didn’t have many chances to see one another. We were always on different wavelengths. Him, with rehearsals, vocal rests, writing sessions. Me, with the delicacies of travel. The only times we really saw each other were during breakfast or dinner, two places he’d been making a point to show up to. No one really noticed his newfound presence- no one but me, considering it seemed to previously be a way for him to spite my very existence.

His first appearance happened the very next morning after our conversation on the bus. After he kissed me like he was going off to battle, we rode the elevator up our floor, departed at my door, and just an hour later, he ended up texting me goodnight. That message alone was enough to have my heart beating crazily. 

The next morning, I was still feeling that aftershock while sitting at the breakfast table, talking to Ronnie about her brother’s baby. The elevator doors dinged, opening up like the literal gates of heaven. I barely paid any mind because everyone who normally came to breakfast was already seated at our table. But, I did spare a glance and caught sight of his dark figure, slinking towards us. I gave a second look, stumbling over whatever it was I had been saying to Ronnie. I covered up my stutter by clearing my throat, but she didn’t really notice, nor did she seem to care. Oliver sat at the end of the table, greeting everyone with his same simple nod. My heart was going again. 

I tried not to stare, tried not to even look at him for fear of melting on the spot, even when I felt his eyes burning into my face. I was blushing, bright red. My knee shook, nervously, under the table as I brushed my hair from my cheeks, behind my ears. I caught his eye from the corner of my own and he smiled, ever so slightly. 

I was done for, I knew it. 

It became a delight to see him at these meals, even if we never got the chance to speak to each other; even if, afterwards, he’d shoot back upstairs to his room. That was always my favorite part, when he disappeared from the table because, shortly after, he’d text me. 

Something like:

Oliver: your hair looked pretty today. 

Daisy: you looked alright 🤷

Oliver: wooooooow

I compliment you and this is how you treat me

Daisy: oh im so super sorry

Oliver, you are so handsome and gorgeous and amazing and awesome

Better?

Oliver: sure, sure 

That’s where most of our conversation took place, over text, especially that first week that whatever this was began to take place.

He’d text me good morning and good night, nearly every single day. He’d ask how my day was, ask me what sort of plans I had. I kept waiting for this question to evolve into another one, something like, “Wanna hang out later?” I’d settle for a damn booty call, if that’s what he wanted. I tried not to get frustrated when that first week drug on, knowing he was insanely busy. I couldn’t expect him to drop everything else and prioritize me. But, a small part of me hoped he would. 

I just wanted a little bit more of his attention. 

Luckily, I- eventually- got it.

We were in Germany for the next week. We flew out from Italy that Sunday, settled into our hotel in the early afternoon. I hadn’t planned anything for that Monday, hoping to just rest a bit, leisure across the city, maybe. I knew, too, that the band was off that day. Maybe a small part of me was making sure I was available in case he wanted to grace me with his presence. I wouldn’t admit it, though, because it just wasn’t healthy. 

But, my hopes amounted to something. 

At first, things seemed to regress. There were no messages from him on my phone. 

I thought about texting him first, but I felt strange doing so, like he’d be annoyed if I reached out instead. I then tried to ignore the sinking feeling that this put in my chest. Maybe he was done with me. Maybe he realized that this wasn’t ever going anywhere, especially considering we hadn’t so much as had an in-person conversation in a week. Luckily, I hadn’t slept with him. 

My mind began racing too much, so I pulled myself out of bed and started getting ready for the day. Sam was already gone. He told me yesterday that he, Cy, Adam, and Ronnie had made plans to go do something. He offered me to come with, but I really wanted to just laze about. There was an infinity pool and today was going to be one of the warmest days of the summer for this country. Soaking up the sun seemed like a good way to truly relax. 

So, I put on a bathing suit, slipped a sundress overtop, and rubbed sunscreen all over myself. I wasn’t about to battle a sunburn on top of jet lag. Then, I packed my purse with my water bottle, my latest book, headphones, and my wallet. Just as I went to grab my phone, sling my towel over my shoulder, head out, a knock came from the door. 

I turned to the sound with furrowed brows. Housekeeping wasn’t supposed to come until we told them to. And, as far as I knew, we hadn’t scheduled a cleaning. 

“Who is it?” I called out, stepping towards the door. 

“It’s me,” a low voice responded, hushed in volume. 

A thrilling excitement suddenly rushed through my veins. I tried not to rush over to the door and instead, forced myself to take slow steps. I set a hand on the handle, already feeling a shake in my bones. Just being this close to him pulled some sort of chemical reaction out of me. 

The door opened and Oliver turned his head straight, to really look at me. He had been checking over his shoulder, paranoid about any passerbyers. As soon as he saw me, he grinned, wide. Then, he didn’t hesitate to shove me back into the room, his hands on my hips, his lips grasping for mine. He threw the door shut behind him. 

It took me a second to find my footing. But, when I did, I became desperate, hungry. I tugged at the front of his hoodie in an attempt to get him as close to me as physically possible. Oliver ran a hand up my hip, across the front of my body, between my breasts, up around my neck. His fingers were slotted just beneath either side of my jaw. He pressed down, ever so slightly, to ensure my mouth stayed on his. 

As he kissed me, I could tell he was basically starved. This was even more evident when he nipped my bottom lip, drawing just the thinnest drop of blood. I moaned, involuntarily, at the feeling of his teeth pulling at my skin, though it was only for a millisecond. 

Oliver reared his head back, looking down at me with furrowed brows. He processed what had just happened, assisted by the size of my pupils and the way my lips sat, open, waiting for him to come back. A smirk twisted onto his lips, “Oh, darling…”

He pulled me back in, running his tongue across my bottom lip to clear the blood. My knees were weak. Luckily, he moved, so that he was sitting on the bed and tugged me down into his lap again. He didn’t hesitate to grab my ass, grip on my throat tightening a bit. He moved his lips to my cheek as his movements became painfully slow. 

“You’re so pretty, Daisy,” he whispered against the apple of my cheek. I felt his eyelids flutter across my skin as he moved away from my lips. I nearly shivered at the goosebumps, a stark contrast to the heat pooling all over my body. 

He moved his other hand to my neck, too, brushing the hair down over the back of my shoulder. In doing so, he placed his hand back where it had been. Then, his lips made their way to my bare skin, right where my neck curved into my shoulder. His sweet, soft kisses suddenly turned into small nips, his teeth tugging at my skin. 

I squeaked at the first one, but, then, as he carried on down my neck, I found pleasure in the nipping pain. I gripped at his shoulders, a hand moving to his hair, as my desperation took over my body. I couldn’t sit still anymore. I ground my hips down into his, eliciting a huffed breath from Oliver. I wanted to grin at the power I knew I had over him, but I really just wanted to stay as I was- putty in his hands. I didn’t want any control. I was his to use, his to manipulate. I would do whatever.

But, I did find a little bit of a rhythm in my hips, if only because I needed the friction. I was motivated when I knew it was making him feel good, too. As I did so, Oliver’s lips came to my skin again. They caressed the edge of my earlobe, where I could hear his sweet breathlessness. 

“Daisy,” he whispered, nearly moaning my name into my ear.  

I shuddered a sharp, audible breath at the sound of this. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed him- everywhere. The anticipation, all of these long weeks- even just this one- it was killing me. 

I pressed my forehead against the side of his head, whispering my own words into his ear, “Oliver, please!”

He finally listened. His hand found the bottom hem of my sundress and he quickly tore it from my head. It landed somewhere across the room. Eyes still dropped shut, I went blindly for his hoodie. But, Oliver caught my hands in his, stretching my arms out on either side of us. 

I opened my eyes curiously, brows furrowed. His gaze was dragging itself down my swimsuit-clad body, a sly grin on his lips. I blushed at the look on his face and wanted to pull my arms back around myself. But, he held me open. He kept admiring. 

“Daisy, darling,” he rolled his eyes back up, over my chest, until he met my stare. A wider grin stretched across his face. “Daisy…you are gorgeous.”

I scrunched up my nose and looked down at our laps. He dropped our hands and took my face in his hold, pulling my eyes back to his. “Don’t do that. We’re not gonna do that, okay? Even if you have to pretend, I won’t let you be ashamed of yourself when we do this, okay? You are…so fucking beautiful.”

I took a deep breath as the sincerity of his words sunk into my skin. I nodded slightly. 

Oliver eyed my lips and slowly leaned back into me. This kiss was different. The hunger, the ferocity, slowed. It was almost…loving, gentle. But, then, I moved my hands back to his hair, tugged slightly, and he went back to ravishing me. 

I helped Oliver shed his hoodie. Then, I had my turn, admiring his toned chest, scarce of any dark makeup. I didn’t have to say anything to him. I knew that he could read all of my thoughts through my eyes. 

What I wanted to say, but couldn’t quite find the words to, was that he was something out of a Greek myth, something untouchable. Something that would never be real. 

I drug my fingers down his chest as he kissed me again. I undid his belt. When I tugged at his jeans, I found my footing on the floor, moving off of him, so he could stand to pull the pants down. His hands were back on my body in an instant. Though he began to tug me back on his lap, I had my own plans. Just as I began to crouch down to his knees, Oliver opened his mouth to protest, but-

A knock sounded from the door, followed by a taunting, “Daisy…”

Shit. 

Max. 

My spine straightened so fast, I thought it would snap in half. Mine and Oliver’s head whipped towards the door, my own gaze widened with utter shock. Oliver formed a fist with his hand, punching the palm of his other in slow defeat. 

He looked back to me, fear in his pupils, “What the fuck?” 

I shrugged defensively, bewildered. I went to whisper back when Max spoke again. “Daisyyyyyy, darling- I know you’re awake. Was wondering if you wanted to hang today, since we’re both free. Cmon, open up-“ he rapped his knuckles against the door again. 

Everything occurred in a desperate haste: Oliver rounded up his clothes, arms stuffed full of them, within five seconds flat. I tracked down his shoes as he did so. Then, I nearly pushed him onto the floor of the bathroom. He stumbled on his feet, barely catching himself on the counter. As the door fell shut, he shot me a panicked, worrisome expression that I could only scrunch my face up at. I didn’t know what he wanted me to do, but he was acting like someone was here to murder him. 

I went to the door, sweating a bit, and lay a shaky hand upon the knob. Then, I realized I was half-naked and rushed to pull my dress back on. Before he could knock again, I let Max in, hoping I looked anything but suspicious. 

As soon as he came into view, Max was elbowing his way inside. He held a tray with two drinks and a small brown pouch that wafted a delicious smell past me. 

He carried an energy that was far too excited for my current nervous stature. “Good morning, darling! Sleep well? I sure did. What are your plans for the day? I’m thinking we lounge out by the pool for a few hours, maybe catch a late lunch, then hit the town? Drop by a few bars? Maybe we can round up the rest of the group, force Oliver out of his self-inflicted prison, have some fun? Yeah?” 

As he spoke, Max moved around the room, unloading one of the drinks into my hands, picking out a few napkins, presenting a pastry on the small desk in the corner, seating himself onto the bed all casually with a leg crossed over the other. When he finished, he took a slow sip of his coffee, brows raised expectantly 

I toyed with the lid on my drink, eyes darting nervously towards the bathroom. I knew it wasn’t true, but I almost felt like I could hear Oliver’s breathing. Smell his cologne. I worried Max would, too. 

Everything would be over. 

“Um-“ I cleared my throat. Then, I tried to relax my shoulders and approach Max with a friendly smile. “Yeah! Yeah, that could be fun. I was planning on going down to the pool anyway.”

“Wonderful, darling,” Max approved, “Well, why don’t you go ahead and finish getting ready and we’ll get going.” 

I looked around me, trying to remember where I had left off this morning, when Oliver had barged in and interrupted my routine. 

“I just need to grab my stuff, actually. I was heading out the door before O-“ I cut myself off from my explanation, lips pinched together in a way that I could only assume looked quite guilty. I swallowed thickly, ashamedly glancing towards the bathroom again. I tried to save myself, “before you started knocking, ha! What a coincidence!”

“Coincidence…” Max followed my glancing gaze. I snapped my eyes back forward, and he met me there. The edges of his pupils seemed to squint, like he was reading between the lines, but he didn’t say anything else. “Well! To the pool we go!”

We were in the clear…for now. 

-

Oliver: i am so fucking sorry 

Hes a prick

So fucking daft

God

I love him 

But what a bloody idiot

Daisy: LMFAO

I dont even know what to say 

I feel bad for you!!

Theres gonna be a witch hunt for you if anyone ever figures it out

Oliver: god dont remind me

Youre so worth it though

We spent hours poolside, like two beached whales, glistening with sweet sweat on our shoulders and sunscreen in our skin. I dipped into the water infrequently, if only to cool myself down, but spent most of my time finishing up a book (texting Oliver between its pages). I cursed Max for his lightly tinted shades, praying to whatever God above that he wasn’t side-eyeing me, that he couldn't see my illicit grins, my quick thumbs. 

I tried to get Oliver to come hang out with us. If I couldn't have him to myself, I’d take small doses of him with others. But, as vampiric as he was, laying by the pool was just not something he wanted to do. Besides, in his own words:

Oliver: I just wouldn't be able to be so close to you without doing something

Especially with you in that little bit of cloth you call a swimsuit 

I should be a dick and make you squirm

Make you think about me while you’re all peaceful by the pool

Make you think about my hands

My teeth

Daisy: Oliver…

Asshole

Oliver: sorry, darling

But after that incident with the cake?

And that bathing suit

Yeah i think it's my turn

(1 attached photo)

The heat outside was nothing compared to what I felt in my chest. I ensured my jaw was shut tightly, unwilling to let the saliva pooled in my mouth dribble down my chin. Then, I scrounged through my photo albums, cursing myself for having deleted my most intimate photos. Instead, I had to just stare (drool) at the one he’d sent- his hand, his bare stomach, the very edges of his pitch black boxers. 

I would never lose this game- I just couldn't. But, in this moment, I was! While I liked being submissive in the end, I enjoyed being the one doing the teasing. That slight upper hand I got from it gave me a headrush. I was, I guess…bratty. 

So, I watched Max carefully from the corner of my vision, thankful for my tiny bathing suit. I could make do- if he’d just leave. He was reading his own novel, hunched over a little bit. It had been a while since he’d gone to the bathroom or really even moved. He had to eventually.

My wishing on invisible stars worked because Max excused himself to the bathroom. He first paused to ensure I was doing okay. I thanked him for his concern with an urgent smile, quick nod of my head. And then he was gone. 

Daisy: I really don’t get what all this fuss is about. I think this suit covers me up just fine, don’t ya think?

(1 attached photo)

Oliver: behave, miss thing

You have no idea what’s waiting for you

Daisy: sure, sure

Needless to say, Oliver put me on the very edge of my seat all day. I only had the one photo that was taken in the heat of the moment. He had…an empty hotel room and an imagination like any other. He never let me see past those stupid boxers though, holding out on me to only intensify that anticipation. 

As was Max’s plan, we grabbed a late lunch. I had hoped we’d change beforehand, but he was so hungry, we had to rush out of the hotel. And, as per usual with Max, he took his good old time eating, strolling leisurely, dropping by every single shop that caught his eye. Don’t get me wrong- it was a lot of fun. I was grateful to have some one-on-one time with him. 

But, I knew what- who was waiting for me back at the hotel. So, I was a little distracted.

Eventually, the day was coming to a close. No one really wanted to go out drinking because the band had rehearsals early in the morning. Instead, we were all going to meet up for a light dinner in the hotel bar. 

I tried to escape Max as soon as we entered the hotel, but he insisted on walking me to my room. Meanwhile, Oliver was shooting me a dozen messages- he was in his room, he didn’t have a shirt on, and he was waiting for even the shortest possible breath that he could take at my lips. 

Max stood outside my door, yapping about some shop lady who had made a joke to us earlier. He kept laughing, kept going over the punchline. It was funny, sure, but I was literally trying to close the door between us, a forced smile aching on my cheeks.  We had to be at dinner in just half an hour and I needed to shower. I would sacrifice all that time for Oliver, but I was sure I smelled of sunscreen and sweat. I needed to rush under the hot water, and then rush into his arms. 

“Ha! Can you imagine? What kind of-” Max kept going. 

I faked another laugh, positive that one of my eyelids was winking shut, visibly displaying the max level of insanity that I felt right now. I took another step back into my room, preparing to bid farewell.

Luckily, Max caught sight of the time. “Holy shit, Daz,” he looked up from his watch, “it’s so late! Sorry to cut our wonderful day short, but we better hit the showers before everyone wonders where we’re at.”

“Ah! Good idea!” I bumped the heel of my hand against my head, shock on my face. Then, I pushed up onto my tiptoes to give him a short kiss to the cheek, “Thank you for today. I really just had the best time ever! Love you, Max!”

Then, as he began to respond, “Aw, darling, me, too! I love you-” I shut the door on him, “Oh- yep! I’ll see you in a bit!”

The speed at which I moved through that hotel room was sure to rip the carpet up off of the floor. I kicked off my sandals, sending one right into the window. It made a loud clanking noise, which I flinched at, before landing on Sam’s bed. But then I was already moving onto my sundress, tearing it off, ripping my swimsuit down my legs, over my head. Once those were off, I jumped in the shower, grateful that I didn’t need to wash my hair so I could do a quick rinse. 

I was back out of the shower as quickly as I’d gotten in, doing my hair up into a claw clip, pulling on an outfit that didn’t require much thought, but was still concise enough to be cute. I barely had my phone and purse in hand before I was shooting across the hall, like a chicken crossing the road. 

Oliver opened the door before I could even take a breath, tugging me in by my hips. 

He had my back pressed up against the door, one of his spare hands already holding the base of my throat like a goddamn rosary. His dark eyes stared down at me, hungry, like he was about to consume every inch of my flesh. I went to say something, brows already lifted on my face in their devious position. In the process, my hands fished for him, grabbing at his shirt.

In one easy moment, Oliver grabbed both of my wrists, stretching my arms up and above my head. He squeezed my throat, ensuring my eyes were on his. My back arched from the movement, my chest pushing through the air as a small whine escaped my lips subconsciously. 

Oliver drug his eyes down my body, smirking pleasedly at the movement he drew from my body. “We have five minutes. Shut the fuck up and be a good girl for me, yeah?”

“Okay.”

We weren’t really being realistic about how much time we would get together.

Two minutes later, Oliver was on his knees below me, his large hands bruising either one of my thighs, my hands were entangled in his hair, my underwear were somewhere far across the room, and his breath was ghosting my core. Just as he inched painfully, teasingly closer, someone was knocking on his door. 

It was my turn to hide as Adam and Cyrus ushered Oliver from his hotel room, excitedly telling him about some new song they’d just heard. After ensuring in the bathroom mirror that I didn’t look disheveled, I watched through the peephole as they neared the elevators. Oliver peered over his shoulder, the smallest of smiles on his lips. I rolled my eyes. Of course he’d find it funny- he was winning again. 

Then, when the hallway seemed clear, I quickly left his room and tried to casually make my way down to the dining room.

Oliver was trying not to laugh, I just knew it- his lips were pressed together, a humored look in his eyes as he pretended to be occupied with the potatoes he mashed around with his dinner fork. I glared at him as I approached the table. 

Then, Sam was talking to me, asking me and Max about our busy day and I had to pretend like their best friend hadn’t just been on his knees for me. 

This was killing me. 

-

Surely, I thought to myself as dinner came to a close and everyone began heading to bed, surely we would find the time. Surely our luck wasn’t that bad. We’d get some time alone- we just had to. 

So, as the elevator that Sam, Ronnie, and I caught closed, and carried us to the fifth floor, I quickly texted Oliver. I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping, praying, wishing this would work. 

Daisy: soon as Sam goes to bed, i can be over

A heavy heat of anticipation sat right on top of my chest, shooting off butterflies in my stomach, making me breathless when I said goodnight to Ronnie.

I waited, patiently, for about an hour- no, exactly an hour and ten minutes. I waited an hour and ten minutes for Oliver to text me back. I stared at the numbers in the top middle of my phone screen as I pretended to read a book. Then, when Sam lay down and shut off all the lights, I rolled onto my side, the dim glow of my screen filling my corner of the room. My eyes glazed over numerous times while each little number morphed into the next. Slowly but painfully surely, the delightful anticipation began to dissipate. 

I really wanted to be chill, to be normal and casual and just…go to bed. Accept that maybe he had fallen asleep, maybe his phone had died. Pretend like there wasn’t a small hole sinking in my stomach. 

But, I saw him begin typing forty minutes in. 

And then he stopped. 

And I still waited another half an hour for him to respond. 

He never did.

- 

The next morning, I was able to forget about it. 

I focused on the productive conversation we’d had in the bus, the one where he set a boundary with me, where he told me he couldn’t really offer me much in terms of connection or romance. The one where I practically begged him to just have me in whatever way he could. 

And, I forced myself to stop worrying about the fact that he never responded. The world, after all, did not revolve around me. I needed to be reminded of that and have patience with him. Besides, I wasn’t going to allow myself to feel that- disappointment. Small bits of heartbreak. This meant basically nothing, right? We were just hooking up, hanging out. It wasn’t that big of a deal, like we discussed. 

I’m chill with that.  

I ate breakfast with the band, discussing with Ronnie some of the best tourist attractions that she suggested I seek out. Oliver was a little late this morning, feet dragging a bit. When I saw him round the corner to the dining room, I sat up just a bit. He seemed tired as he took a seat at the opposite end of the table, hoodie up, as per usual. He didn’t really touch any of his food, but instead nursed a cup of tea. So, I ignored the sinking feeling that came when he didn’t even look at me. 

He showed up. That’s what really mattered. 

I tried not to be distracted as Ronnie told me about some sort of monument, but it was a struggle when my concern for Oliver was as relevant as it was. There was just something off about him…and it almost felt like it had to do with us, with me. Or maybe I was just reading into things a little too much. Again. 

Everyone else finished up their breakfast before me. So, the group broke off before long, a few headed out the door to the venue, some up to their rooms to grab last minute items. I watched as Oliver straggled behind Adam and Cyrus, towards the elevators. When he first stood to follow them, I tried to meet his eye, tried to shoot him a reassuring, encouraging smile. He evaded my gaze. My shoulders dropped a little. 

When they were out of sight, I took my phone out and grappled with texting him. I felt like I should, just to see if he was okay. But, then, the part of me that knew there was nothing serious between us fought against that want. It wasn’t weird, right? If I texted him, just to see how he’s doing? 

But, then, come to think of it…he never even said good morning to me. So he probably just wanted to be left alone. I should probably just read the signs he was clearly giving and just provide him with some space. He didn’t need me up his ass at every waking moment, constantly expressing my concern for his every move. Especially not after the conversation we’d just had. 

I felt a little insecure, a little worried, going back over every interaction we’d had like I was responsible for a grown man’s feelings. I pushed aside the overthinking my brain was ruminating on and decided to just get up, to just get started with my day. 

This thing between us was not going to work out if I overanalyzed his every breath, if I let it all get to me. I needed to chill out- just be chill. Cool. 

I headed for the elevators, purse slung over my shoulder. The doors were already opened, so I stepped inside. When I faced forward, Oliver was there, following me in, my name barely a greeting off his lips. 

“Daisy…”

“Oliver, hey-”

He interrupted me, lips on mine before I could even take a breath. I was taken aback, just briefly, before getting swept up in his soft touches, his hungry mouth. My purse slid off my shoulder. Oliver’s fingers caressed my cheek, my hip, pushing into me until my back was against the wall. 

We kissed until the bell dinged, signaling that the doors were opening up to our floor. Oliver pulled back, quickly distancing himself from me. His chest heaved a little, out of breath from our encounter. His pupils were shot, wide, blown up. I furrowed my eyebrows as I carefully eyed him. I was trying to read between the lines here, but I couldn’t. 

And he was gone before I could ask for any answers from him. 

-

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, rubbing moisturizer into my freshly clean face. Taylor Swift was playing softly on my phone, a subtle soundtrack to my evening routine. It had been another long day of perusing across Europe. My feet ached from the 10 miles I’d walked,  my stomach was full from the delicious dinner I caught on the way home, and my brain was buzzing with all of the sights and sounds I’d taken in. I was going to cherish these evenings for the rest of my life. 

I had even managed to stop worrying about Oliver, had let the pitiful racing thoughts that had been taking up space in my mind fall away. I was going to be cool about it. I was going to be the chill, casual girl. 

What we had, what we were doing, was just hooking up. We hadn’t explicitly agreed on keeping any strings to ourselves, but Oliver had told me he couldn’t really offer any in the first place. And that was okay! It’s not like I needed to be in a relationship anyways. I was going back to school in the fall and I’d probably, honestly, never even see him again after this summer. 

Casually hooking up with someone would probably be good for my development, anyways. It would teach me to become more comfortable with my body, to be more patient, to be more understanding. To just chill the fuck out, honestly.  Yeah, I’d totally gotten rid of those racing thoughts…ha. 

Anyways, even though I wanted to text him, to see what was going on, to see if he was okay, I just wasn’t going to. I was gonna tuck myself into bed, get a goodnight’s rest, and prepare myself for another long day. Focus on me, my happiness, my health. 

My plan was going well, too. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Then, at around midnight, I woke to my phone buzzing on my nightstand. 

I lazily brought the device to my ear, murmuring some sort of greeting through half-lidded eyes. “Hello?”

“Come over.”

“What- hello? Oliver?” I sat up in bed, a little jolted by the situation. I spoke in hushed whispers, eyes on Sam’s figure to ensure that he was passed out still. 

Oliver’s voice replied in an exhausted tone, “I can’t sleep. Come over.”

I took my sweet time, not wanting to seem desperate, not wanting to be at his beck and call. I pulled a hoodie down over my torso before slipping out of the room. I guided the door shut, flinching when it clicked a little louder than expected. Once I was sure the hall was clear, I headed towards Oliver’s door.

He must have been watching from the peephole, waiting for me to arrive, because as soon as I made it, the door was open and he had his hands on me again. His touch was more desperate than ever before, fingers harsh, tongue rough. 

I could barely gasp for air as he gorged on my lips, overfeeding himself. I was growing more concerned for his mental health, considering it seemed like he was displacing whatever he was feeling onto me. I probably already knew what was going on- the stress of the tour, of making the next album, it was all getting to him. 

He barely had any time to himself anymore, barely had any chances to breathe, to execute self care. He was overworking himself. He was just exhausted. 

I felt guilty kissing him, touching him. It felt exploitive and dirty.

So, when his hands traveled down my body, up under my hoodie, to my pants, I brushed them off of me. I took a big step away from him, reaching out my own touch to keep the distance between us.

“Oliver-” I took a deep breath, trying to ground my dizzy head.

His eyes were bloodshot. He hadn’t tasted like alcohol, so I assumed he must be high. Or he had been crying. I didn’t really know which one. 

Whatever exhaustion pooled in his gaze dissipated as it was replaced with worry. He took a small step towards me, palms out in a wary manner. “I’m so sorry- what is it? Are you okay, darling? What did I do?”

My jaw was a little slack, concern drowning my features and tone. “No, no- nothing! Sorry- nothing! You’re good. We’re good. I promise.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as his shoulders slumped a bit forward. “Thank fuck. I thought I hurt you or something.”

“I mean you were being a little rough, but that’s okay,” I managed a breathy chuckle.

Oliver ran hand through his hair, glancing around the room, to his feet, back to me. “Why’d you stop, then? Everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” I emphasized, “I’m more worried about you.”

Oliver sighed, loudly, posture dropping a bit more. He wiped his face as he looked away from me again. “Why?” He sounded annoyed with me. 

“I’m not gonna pry, cause I know it’s not my business, but…”

“It’s not,” he cut me off. 

I reared my chin back. I thought carefully, choosing my words delicately, as I crossed my arms over my chest, “I know. I know it’s not my business. I just- just want-”

“What?” He spoke impatiently. 

“Just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Oliver didn’t respond. He stared at the floor beside my slippers, as though he could bore a hole with his eyes, sink into it, and slip away from this moment. I looked past his head. I didn’t want to pressure him with pervasive eye contact. 

Then, after a minute or two, I heard him sniffle. I still didn’t move too much, but ran my eyes over his face. He wiped away a few tears. Oliver bit into his bottom lip, which wobbled around a bit. He didn’t want to give into the emotions overwhelming his nervous system, but he was going to have to.

I couldn’t hold myself away from him any longer. He needed connection, touch, gentleness. So, I walked right up to him and hugged him, tugging his head down into the crook of my neck. I felt his arms squeeze my entire self into him, like an anchor at his shores, calming his seas. 

For the next twenty minutes, we stood there, my heart sitting just underneath his own, beating into one another. He didn’t really cry too much, probably unwilling to. I didn’t like to cry in front of others either. It was vulnerable, too vulnerable. 

We just hugged each other. I caressed my fingers through his hair, hoping to soothe him, to provide solace. He just squeezed me back, tight as ever. It felt really good. I wasn’t going to pull away first, but he eventually did. 

He let out one of those embarrassed laughs, wiped the tears clean off his cheeks, and moved to sit on the bed. I offered a kind smile, but still didn’t say anything. He would come to me with whatever was on his mind whenever he felt ready to. 

“Sorry…about- that. Probably, uh- probably weird.”

“Not at all,” I waved him off, moving slowly towards him. 

He looked up to me, his palms resting on the edge of the bed, and motioned for me to sit. I did. 

“I’m just…just tired,” he shrugged. 

I knew it was more than that. I knew that he harbored a lot of negative feelings towards himself, something he had confirmed for me just last week. He held himself up to a crazy standard and, of course, never met those expectations. No human being ever could. 

I wouldn’t convince him of this fact, not in just one moment together. But, I could tell him one thing that he probably needed to hear. Something he’d value and treasure for longer than just a moment. 

“I’m proud of you,” I spoke softly, turning my head to meet his eyes. 

He didn’t say anything. He just swallowed, rubbed his lips together, thought long and hard. Then, he glanced away, brought his eyes back to mine and nodded, just once. I saw the words slot themselves into his mind, stored away for just him to hold onto. I knew he valued my opinion, so even though it wouldn’t fix his issues, it would provide some support. Support was the only way to get to recovery, to healing. 

Oliver set his hand on mine, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “When I first met you, you told me you were trying to discover life this summer. To find deeper meaning. The more I get to know you, the more I disagree with that.”

“Oh?” I furrowed my brows. “And why’s that?”

“It’s just not accurate,” he shrugged, “you have so much meaning. You’re…you’re so sweet. And kind. And intentional with everything you do. You put so much goodness out with even just your gaze. I just…”

I stared up at him with, I’m sure, these big dopey eyes. Words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. “I really like you, Oliver.”

He frowned slightly as he brought a hand to my face, thumb brushing the apple of my cheek. I searched his eyes and couldn’t find the answer needed for what I had said. So, the distant smile on my face twisted upside down, worry lacing my features. Had I gone too far? 

“I know, darling,” was all he said. 

Moments of silence passed between us. 

I knew he couldn’t give me much, but maybe now that my feelings were out there, clear as day, written in the sand, maybe it would help him feel more secure about whatever this was. Maybe he’d jump in with me. After all, I was scared, too. Hell, as of this morning I wasn’t looking for a relationship. But- we could be good together. He could be good for me. I know I would be good for him. 

Maybe we could l-

“I don’t know that I communicated this to you well enough,” Oliver went on. 

“It’s okay…”

Oliver glanced away, seemingly ashamed of whatever he was gonna say. “I can’t be in a relationship with you, Daisy. I just…I’m not good. I’m not ready. I don’t want to hurt you. I think you deserve better. We’re on different paths- I have a million excuses.”

I don’t know how I managed to avoid the tears because I could feel them threatening me from behind my eyes. But, I did. I put on this facade, acted out the role. Stood, nodding slowly, painting a sweet smile on my face.

“It’s okay. I understand. I’ll just…I’m gonna leave,” I headed for the door.

But, Oliver was grabbing my hand. “I don’t want you to. I know it…it’s so selfish of me, but I want you anyways. We have two more months before you have to go home- so who says we can’t just be casual, have fun for the rest of summer? I’d…I know I can’t ask that of you, but…I’d like that.”

I would hate him for this. I would hate myself for it, too. 

But, having pieces of him was better than nothing. 

I could push aside my feelings- fuck, I was already getting good at it. 

I would be the cool girl, even if it killed me.

Even if it killed us. 

[yan-lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Yan!Vil with homesick!reader

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/n: Been in soft vil moods this past days so I wrote this lol.

Being in a different world is hard, it's scary. And the worst of it is feeling alone even if there are people by your side every day. This is exactly how you've been feeling these last few days, lost and without a path, without a clue and without any progress. The idea of ​​​​returning to your world disappears from your head more and more, it seems more distant and impossible.

You wonder what the people most important to you think of what happened. Do they think you ran away? Are they still looking for you even after all these months?

"Prefect, shouldn't you be sleeping at this time?"

Vil's strict but soft voice sounded behind you. And you look at him, trying to read his expressions, but there's nothing on his face that lets you know how he feels or what he thinks. You can only imagine how intriguing the scene from his point of view must be. You sitting on the ground next to Ramshackle's front door as you look out over the yard and think about everything you've left behind, annoying tears drying in your eyes.

If only Tsunotaro had shown up today, maybe your melancholy thoughts wouldn't have troubled you so much that you couldn't sleep. And maybe now Vil wouldn't be looking at you that way, as if scolding a child.

"Prefect, I await an answer." He crouched down beside your, carefully wiping away your tears with his fingertips. "Why are you out here in the cold and crying? Why didn't you come to me or the others?"

You shrugged. In NRC, there is an unspoken rule that nobody truly cares about your problems. And well, they're all villains, so it's not like you really want to share your feelings with them without the fear that someone will laugh.

But it's also not like no one will understand your pain. At least not completely, they all had a family to go back to during the holidays, they all had their parents and siblings close by who they could count on in the most difficult times. You only had Grim and he only had you; you two were literally two in one in every sense of the word.

"It just got something in my eye." You lied not caring what he thought, brushing his hand away. You and Vil only interacted during VDC rehearsals, so it's not like you were friends and it bothered you that he was there for you during a fragile moment. "Don't worry about me, I'll be right back to my room. I just needed some air."

A sound of disbelief left Schoenheit and he cupped your face with both hands in a quick gesture, caressing your cheeks and looking deep into your eyes.

"Potato, I can see you're not feeling good." He whispered.

It was true. It was true and for you to hear him say it out loud confirmed that normality had slipped through your fingers and that you really were in a strange world, this wasn't some kind of strange dream. The look so soft in his lilac eyes, the way he caressed your cheeks and pulled you into a hug was all you needed to let the tears roll and the sobs escape your throat.

Maybe even someone strict like him had some sympathy in his heart. His hands gently rubbed your back as he whispered words of comfort, feeling you shiver in his arms. And the scene broke his heart. But your teary eyes certainly were a beautiful sight, not even the most beautiful pictures taken by Rook could compare to you.

"I miss home." You confessed, quiet, fearful.

The hug tightened and you hid your face in his neck, you never wanted to feel that way again and at the same time you wanted to feel everything. Feeling was one of the only things you could do and missing everything gave you the necessary determination to keep surviving one more day in this strange world.

"It's understandable that you feel that way," Vil muttered. "But, you know, there are ways to alleviate this longing and feel closer to the people we love, even though we are far away."

You looked at Vil curiously, frowning at what you had just heard. Whatever solution he was going to offer, you knew it wouldn't be enough to ease the pain you felt. Still he continued, combing your hair with his fingers. "Write a letter to each person you miss and then burn it, I hear it can help ease the weight you feel."

You looked at him in disbelief and that drew a laugh from Vil who watched your reactions. "Another thing that can help a lot is to create a routine, something that you do every day that makes you feel closer to home. If you liked to listen to music or read at home, do that here. It can give you a feeling of comfort and familiarity."

You nodded and thanked him for sharing these tips, even though a pessimistic part of your brain doubted any of them would work. Yet you were grateful for his intentions and saw him in a new light from that moment on.

Vil then placed his hand over your heart. "Remember that you are not alone and that there are people who care about you, they're all right there."

You smiled once more.

Oh, if you had noticed that peculiar glint in his eyes…

"Thanks, really, I'll think about it." You promised, pulling away from the hug and the hands that massaged your shoulders, feeling like a weight was lifted off your shoulders just by having someone by your side.

Except Vil hates sharing your attention and he would take up every bit of your time because only he could take care of you and love you the way you deserve.

You got up and offered your hand to help him up, then wishing him a good night. Surely you would sleep that night with one less worry, you weren't alone. You had Grim, Ace and Deuce by your side. And… A part of you mind added a new face to the people you felt you could trust, Vil as well.

[blakenation1]

Dead Poets Society on Snapchat

facechat, snapbook, whatever it is.... I will make this joke every time facebook/snapchat is mentioned ANYWHERE.

OKAY Knox sends Charlie so many videos of him ranting. like he's setting the phone down- sorry SLAMMING the phone down- eyebrows raised, wide eyes, hands thrown out in front of him, "CHARLIE.... you will never guess what happened to me today-"

Okay CLEARLY, Charlie uses a bunch of stupid filters. He puts them on anybody and everybody when they are not paying attention. Videos them with the filter on, with Charlie's muffled and held back laughter and snickering in the background.

Neil has a private story and posts on it all the time. Probably posts a lot of stuff of him at the theatre, like silly things that happen at rehearsal, him and Ginny doing silly stuff, him and Todd on late-night adventures, etc etc etc

Cameron literally never gets on Snap, maybe like once a day or so, because him and Charlie have a like 1,000 day snapstreak and they both refuse to break it because it is so long. They have had it like ever since they were in middle school or some crazy shit like that.

One time Cameron's phone died and their streak was about to break. Cameron uses Todd's phone and logs into his snap just to fulfill his streak with Charlie 😭

Todd also hardly gets on snap. Gets on there to check out Neil's story, reply to it, etc. RIP Todd Anderson, you would love Tumblr, Pinterest, and Spotify combo.

After Charlie, Pitts is the next one that would be on Snap the most. I think he would love the silly filters. I can see him having a cat or something and sending the poets silly videos of silly filters he put on his cat, AWWWW

Okay, Meeks either does not have Snap, or just got it incase he met someone and wanted their contact info or something like that.

I cannot see Meeks being on snap I DUNNO I cannot explain it-

I have talked about this once before and I will talk about it once again, Charlie Dalton would love Snapchat.

He has streaks with all the poets (that are willing to have one with him), he has a private story that he posts on ALL the time, him and Knox are each other's #1 bsf, because Knox is on snap all the damn time too.

CHARLIE WOULD HAVE A DUMBASS BITMOJI LMAOOOOO

Like he would always dress it up in some stupid shit

I'm talking it's mid-july and his bitmoji has on a Christmas tree costume.

Chris posts on her main story every once in a while, but it would be cute

Like oh she's at the beach, she's gonna take a pic of the ocean, put the location sticker thingy on it and post

Would love it though, love u Chris

Ginny would probably be a lot like Neil and Todd combined, doesn't get on snap a TON, but likes posting silly stuff on her private story

I like to think all the poets have a group story together, and a group chat, obvi

Knox would have the cutest bitmoji, like he'd have it in a cute little outfit

One last thing, Charlie would literally get so many people's snap. Like oh, he just met this guy at some restaurant, he has his snap within ten minutes. He loves asking people for their snap.

OKAY another thing- I can see Ginny loving the zodiac sign feature on profiles, like "omg Chris look- he's a Scorpio" and what not

Charlie's snapscore is insane. Do not ask him about it he will brag and talk about it for five minutes.