#1st is waiting until the last second to do or change something

[princesscallyie]

It’s seem like I can’t escape the “people don’t want to come to work so now I gotta do their mess” shenanigans…

[curseofhecate]

My heart wont start anymore, for you

Sirius Black x fem!reader

She was in love with him. He never felt the same

1.7k

tw: mention of Y/n, slight swearing

This has been in my drafts since August. The ending is sloppy.

It had been going on for years now. Ever since she'd first saw him, that September 1st on platform 9¾, she'd only ever had eyes for him.

Stolen glances, innocent brushes of her hand against his, so many signs and yet he never picked up any of them.

Sirius Black was too focused on other girls to notice his best friend pinning after him, even now, after all these years. And yet her feelings never changed.

"So, who's that?" James teasingly asked the black haired boy, glancing towards a ravenclaw girl in their year, who was practically eyefucking Sirius from across the room.

"Jessica Monroe" Sirius smirked, then continued eating his breakfast. "Dude, that's like, the 3rd one this month" Remus pointed out.

"It's not my fault the ladies can't resist me"

"And as it seems, neither can you" Peter chimed in. "At least n/n here hasn't fallen for your charms yet" James joked, eyes set on the only girl in their friend group.

"As if!" She laughed, trying to cover up the rosy color of her cheeks.

Little did James know how wrong he had been.

It wasn’t until two weeks later when things really started going downhill. She had just returned from her perfect's duties when she found Sirius waiting for her in the common room. It was well past midnight and everyone had retired to their dorms long ago.

"Finally, I've been waiting for you for hours" the boy jumped up from his spot on the couch once he saw her. She stared at him confused. He gently grabbed her wrist and dragged her to sit beside him as he plopped himself on the couch.

"What are you even doing down here at this time?"

Sirius ignored her question. "I need to talk to you."

"Well, couldn't it wait until the morning? I'm exhausted" She groaned, leaning her head back on the couch.

He ignored her again. 

"I realized something."

His words had her sitting straighter in mere seconds.

Had he finally figured out her feelings for him?

She wasn’t exactly subtle about them either.

He must know.

Sirius looked at her. Whatever it was she was suspecting at that moment could have never even come close to what was yet to come.

"I've been sleeping with Thalia" he breathed out.

It wasn’t unusual for Sirius to sleep with different girls then dump them within the course of the next week. Most of the time he didn’t even mention who it was he was having sex with, so why would bringing her up now?

"Okay?"

She finally said not knowing how else to respond.

"The thing is, I want us to be more. As in, I actually have feelings for her. She makes me the happiest just by smiling at me. So much that makes me want to stay by her side until the end of my days."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm in love with her. Hopelessly and utterly in love."

And it was in that moment when the little candle of hope she had burned out. 

The thing was, that even if Sirius was with other girls, it never lasted long simply because he had never loved any of them. The flame was just weaker, flickering.

And now there he was, talking about how he couldn't imagine a world without the blonde Gryffindor, going as far as to admit being in love with her. There was no candle anymore, only a paddle of melted wax where it once had been.

The girl in front of him, blinked back tears as she shook her head. "I want her to ask her on a date '' Sirius continued.

"But when I do, I want it to be perfect. This is where I need your help. You know her better than me, you can tell me what she likes, for example which kind of flowers does she like the most? And what’s her favorite color? Does she prefer a picnic by the black lake or stargazing at the astronomy tower?" the boy continued rambling until the Y/n stopped him.

And as much as it hurt her to do so, she did value his happiness more than hers. In the end she agreed to help him.

It had been three weeks since Sirius and Thalia started dating. And it was safe to say they were stuck to the honeymoon phase.

The two couldn't keep their hands off of each other. They were always touching somehow and every chance they got to kiss, they did. They'd go on dates every other day and more often than not they slept in each other's bed, at the point where Remus had started complaining that she was practically living in their dorm.

Not to mention that they were always together. And when they weren't, which was a rare occurrence, all Sirius could do was talk about her.

She didn’t blame him. Thalia was a girl made out of angel dust, the prettiest and kindest one could ever be. She had to be the sweetest thing to ever walk on this earth.

Yet Y/n couldn’t help but envy her. The blonde was everything she wasn’t.

Once the two reached their one month anniversary it had started to become frustrating. And the closer the couple grew, the further the two friends slipped apart. 

Sirius didn’t know what had happened between them. One second she was there, the other one she was gone, completely out of sight. It seemed to him that earth might as well have swallowed her whole and left no trace behind. 

In the months following Sirius and Thalia getting together, Y/n had avoided him at any and every cost. She still hung out with the rest of the marauders, they were her best friends after all just not when Sirius was around.

Instead she’d now hang out more with Lily, Marlene and Mary, the three growing closer ever since she started sitting with them at dinner. She’d joke about how her and Marlene were practically married at this point and she’d even had made friends with Regulus (or something along those lines) after finding him up at the astronomy tower. 

To say things had changed was an understatement. 

It was a slow progress too. Yet Sirius failed to notice it. Until now.

Him and Thalia had had their first argument the night before. It was unusual for the two to fight at all, much less not be on talking terms. Sirius needed to talk to his best friend but how could he do that when she was nowhere to be found.

It was in the common room, well after dinner when Sirius managed to spot her. She was sitting next to Peter, helping him with his potion’s essay. 

“Hey” he greeted taking a seat opposite her. She muttered a quiet ‘hi’ back but didn’t look up. 

He sat in silence for a little while, waiting for them to finish. When he finally decided he couldn't wait anymore, he cleared his throat. The two looked up at him confused. “Anything you need Sirius?” she asked, rather coldly. 

He wasn’t used to her calling him by his first name. It was either Siri or pads and sometimes ‘my star’ but never just plain Sirius. “Yes, actually. I need to talk to you.”

“Well can’t it wait. I have to help Pete with this and then I promised Lily I would put her hair into French braids” she said, trying to make up a lie to avoid him. She didn’t even know how to do French braids.

“It won’t take long, I promise”

“Fine,” She sighed. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Not here” he said, motioning for her to get up before doing so himself. He guided her upstairs to his and the boy’s dorm room. It had been a while since she’d last been there. And yet nothing had changed.

“What is going on with you?” Sirius asked after shutting the door closed and turning to her.

“What? Nothing. Everything is perfectly normal” the girl shrugged trying to play it off.

“Except it isn’t. You are never around anymore.We never talk anymore, you don’t even sit with us in the dining hall. I haven’t seen you since the last full moon and even then you didn’t talk to me. You were my best friend. Us against the world, remember? What the hell happened to us? What the hell happened to you n/n'' The more he spoke the more his voice rose. 

“No” she shook her head.

“What do you mean no?” He asked, frustrated.

“Sirius, you were the one who started pulling away. After you got with Thalia you were always with her. And when you weren’t it was your main, not to say only, topic of discussion.”

“That’s not true” he argued.

“Yes it is! Tell me Sirius had you even realized I wasn’t around you as much before today?” she defended. 

She was right. He hadn’t.

“And you know what’s worse? I was in love with you. I have been in love with you since the first day on the train.”

She has done it now. 

“Do you even know how fucking hard it is? Listening to someone you love constantly about someone else?”

Silence. She hadn't intended to say this but she couldn't have controlled it. She had finally reached her limit. 

Sirius looked down at the floor. He hadn't expected to hear such words from her yet he felt extremely guilty.

This was it. Her entire world came crumbling down and it was clear that whatever hope she had for salvaging their friendship was now gone. She had ruined it. 

She looked up. Sirius' gaze was still pinned to the floor. It hurt her that he wouldn't even look at her. 

She left the room slamming the door shut behind her. There were too many unanswered questions, more than before. There was confusion and then there were mixed feelings. It seemed that nothing was certain anymore. 

And in that moment her heart stopped. And she knew, her heart wouldn't start anymore, at least not for him.

[annisassintchaska]

Admiring From Afar: Lewis Hamilton x Black!Caribbean!Reader

The day had been hectic as mechanics, engineers and aerodynamicists moved around calculating, making changes and enhancements to the Formula 1 cars for the drivers to get the best results during the race. Eventually the guys went off after the greenlight, overtaking and defending; fighting to earn their spot on the podium. The race ended as usual with Max in 1st place which annoyed a lot of people due to them wanting to see someone else in the number one spot at least once and the fact that they were tired of hearing the Dutch Anthem.

Lewis was offered a drink to cool down after his race as he headed to the post race interviews. He went through four different journalists until he was at his second to last, when he spotted HER. At the moment, no one knew anything about Lewis' dating life as he keeps it tightly under wraps, yet at this very moment he didn't care if anyone caught him. Lewis absentmindedly listened to the journalist's question as he stared across the paddock at his wife who was busy interviewing was George as she herself is a journalist. He paid no attention to the journalist who was standing confused and waiting for a response, as he "discretely" admired her pretty hair that was styled into butterfly locs with accessories he helped her to choose, her beautiful yellow sundress that somehow was hugging onto and accentuating her figure-thankfully not showing her growing three months pregnant baby bump that much, down to her cute toes that he had worked hard the day before to paint white.

Things got very concerning as George looked across to realise that his teammate was doing something he wasn't supposed to and so he yelled. "Hey man Lewis, stop staring at me!" that pulled him out of his trance as his wife turned around to smile at him, making his heart race. "I'm sorry, I just noticed how messed up your hair is" was Lewis' excuse that of course everyone bought and laughed it off, thinking of how funny it was for a seven-time world champion to zone out just because his teammate's hair was messy. On the other hand, George kept cracking up for the rest of the day every time he saw Lewis, as he was the only one besides Y/n who knew what was really happening.

The day had finally come to an end and Lewis couldn't be more impatient to get home. The drive that was usually 10 minutes was decreased to 4 minutes as he took the highway, speeding through the almost empty roads. Parking and locking up the car in the garage, he hurried inside, stopping in his tracks as he finds her in the kitchen; cooking him a hot meal. "You don't have to stand so far anymore, we're home now" Y/n joked making him smile as he moved forward to hug her from behind. "I missed you both. It was killing me not being able to hug you today." Lewis mumbled into Y/n neck while rubbing her bump, as she reached back to run his braids that he had pulled from the hair tie. The married couple proceeded to enjoy the rest of their evening with dinner, movies and finally went to sleep enjoying the quiet side of their lives.

[deathofacupid]

weighing scale

tw: eating disorder (purging, not eating), bodyshaming, ed shaming

btw, if it's requested, i can turn drabbles into full oneshots!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you guys are beautiful the way you are, and nothing anybody ever says or does will ever change that. remember that gaining weight is totally normal, and you can always lose weight, too, but please, do it in a healthy way. if you ever need anyone to talk to, and this isn't just for eds, i'm here, and you can reach out. if not, there are people who care about you and love you.

you're amazing you beautiful mfs

(also i'm sorry if this might not be correct for you, everyone has different experiences with eds)

(also, also, i did 1st person ... and this is just the way i thought when i was going thru this so i kinda made it relate w/ me??)

100.

98.

96.

she watched as the numbers went down, satisfied despite the fact that it was only one pound less yesterday.

90.

88.

even if it meant that she'd always be cold, or that her hair would fall out. it was a small price to pay to be beautiful. to be skinny. to be like all the other girls that peter liked.

y/n kept telling herself that. and it was enough to keep her going.

{four weeks prior}

(first person)

they had little packets for us to take home, like forms. something along the lines of "annual health check-up." the form was just... well, it wasn't a form, really, but more of an opt-out. the paper said they'd just check weight, height, and some other things, like make sure you didn't have scoliosis.

honestly?

i was just happy to be missing a good chunk of math.

everyone got called down to the gym by period, and mine was 5th period, right before lunch.

our class was waiting for them to call us down, so mr. callen just let us do whatever until then. i glanced over to see liz, kayla, and chloe in the corner of the classroom, giggling and pointing towards some of the boys, and eventually, mr. callen.

he was one of the youngest members on faculty, fresh out of college. and i'll admit, he's not bad looking. in fact, he's hotter than most of the guys. and if it wasn't peter that had my heart, maybe i'd think about someone else.

not that the whole peter thing was going great anyways, he seemed interested in liz. so maybe that was my hint to move on. but i don't know. i've just liked him forever, it'd feel wrong to stop now.

i'm just really loyal, i guess.

or maybe this is some weird first love/crush thing, because no matter what, i keep finding myself coming back to him.

it took me second to realize that i'd been staring at the same spot for a while now, so i probably looked funny. i re-adjusted my position and looked at the clock, noting there there was just a few minutes until we'd have to go down.

i looked by at the girls, then at the teacher. did they not realize that he had an engagement ring on? or where they just dense?

because honestly, i'm having a hard time figuring out which one it is.

liz pushed chloe over to the desk, giggling like a manic.

chloe bit her lip, trying to hold in laughter. "hiiii, cal. you know, like, cupid's day is coming?"

me, personally, i didn't really believe in the whole dumb blonde thing, but chloe was changing my aspect on this.

cupid's day was on valentine's day, and you could pay a dollar to have a rose delivered to someone. normally, the freshmen girls did most of the planning. freshmen girls were annoying. they were always together, and i didn't remember a time i'd seen one alone.

i didn't get any on my first year here. last year i got three. but it didn't really count, because mj got me one and betty did. i was hoping that i'd figure out who the third person was, but three weeks into that investigation, i kinda gave up. if they hadn't revealed themselves to me at that point, i'd figured that they probably wouldn't.

maybe junior year will go better.

if you were popular popular, you got at least seven, so it was kind of embarrasing to only get one. and it was probably even more embarrasing to only have, like, one friend. which was betty. but she hadn't hung around me that often since she started dating ned.

mj was an observer, and i knew that much. it was probably the only reason she got me a rose, because she felt bad. but then again, anyone could see how pathetic it was.

peter and i used to be pretty close, but then he met ned, so the attention he gave me got halved.

i would have tried to be friends with ned, because i know he's really nice, but i stressed out too much about it for some reason and gave up. social anxiety, perhaps? it didn't matter, it was too late to do anything about it now.

after that, peter started hanging around liz and some of the other popular kids, and entirely forgot about me.

did forget about ned, though. maybe beacuse i was a girl, and so peter got called "gay" a lot for that. i didn't have much of a chance compared to liz, so i just admired him from afar. it's not that we didn't talk, because we did sometimes, but... actually, i don't know what.

if peter wanted to, he would have.

and it's fairly obvious, but i'm delusional and chose to ignore that.

the intercom snapped me out of whatever zoning out i'd gone back to, "block d, block d. i-is this on? oh, it is? i- yes, block d down to the gym."

everyone got up and pushed their way out the door, i didn't have that type of energy, so i just waited for everyone to get their butts outta the way and then went myself. i followed them down to the hall, staying behind a little. when i finally got over there, i ended up last, right behind chloe, kayla, then liz.

for the most part, it only took a minute or two for each person, so the line didn't take that long.

well, i suppose that's subjective.

it took 15 minutes, but whatever.

when liz was inside, she didn't take care to close the door all the way, leaving it a couple inches open. that's on her.

that's on her for being irresponsible, so it's not really my fault if i accidently hear. i leaned in a little, suddenly very interested in the wall, with all it's cracks... and... paint, and...

"and step on the scale, please... that is," she paused, and you could hear scribbling of a pen.

"121.3 pounds. perfectly healthy. that's actually the average weight for girls your age," another pause, "make sure to give this form to your parents. have a nice day."

liz said something in return and i stepped back, done admiring the wall. "next!" the lady called in.

i stepped inside the room, and it smelt strongly of hand-sanitizer. "okay, honey, step up against the wall... height is... alrightly. now the scale, please."

i did as she asked, keeping my eyes trained on the numbers.

149.7 pounds. basically 150. that was more than liz's, right?

"149, okay, you're good to go-"

"is that around average weight?" i asked, and it was impulsive, i didn't even think.

"well, it's somewhere around that. you're perfectly healthy."

the intercom came on again, signaling my time was over, and the lady thought the same thing, because she ushered me out.

as i walked back to the classroom, i couldn't help but think;

149? no, 150? around average? so basically, i was above average. 30 pounds heavier than liz? no wonder peter likes liz better.

god, that's disgusting. i'm disgusting.

i trudged back to class, unable to stop thinking about it. and suddenly, an idea popped into my mind; why not lose weight? if i lost a little, maybe peter would care about me again.

that's genius. god, i'm a genius.

yeah. i lose a little weight.

when i got back, he'd already started the lesson, not that i cared. i spent the rest of that class figuring out the kinks, like how many calories i'm allowed to eat per day.

i settled on 800.

it seemed like a decent number if i wanted to actually make an impact with weight loss.

stupid kale smoothies weren't gonna get me anywhere, nor idiotic influencer workout routines.

before i knew it, the bell rung and kids were hustling through the hallways. i was kind of on autopilot as i walked to lunch, not really watching where i was going. i'd by mistake shouldered some people, and they gave me dirty looks. i shot them right back.

i couldn't help but silently, in my mind, judge everyone's body that i saw. and not just their body, but other physical features, too. it was automatic, i didn't even mean to. but i couldn't help it.

she's really fat. the gym exists for a reason.

how is she so skinny? i know she's anorexic.

and it just went on and on.

i didn't know what was going on. why this mattered to me all of a sudden.

it was like i didn't notice these things before, i wasn't looking for them, but now that i knew they were there, i couldn't help it.

i couldn't help a lot of things.

when i walked into the lunchroom, i saw peter sitting by himself, writing on some piece of paper, and if i knew him, he wasn't doing the homework due tomorrow.

he was doing yesterday's.

it didn't seem like i'd be bothering him if i went to go talk to him, so that's what i did. i figured since we hadn't talked in while, it would be great to now.

and it'd be a great distraction, too.

i sat down across from him, "hi, peter."

he looked up slowly, a smile rising on his face. "uh, hey, y/n/n," peter paused, "what, um, what did you need?"

"huh? oh, i didn't need anything. just thought i'd come by and annoy the hell out of you."

"just like old times," peter snorted.

"math homework?"

"yep. i have math-"

"-next period," i realized my mistake after i made it. "um, 'cause i see you when i'm walking to class."

in repsonse, he nodded like he was considering it.

i didn't notice i was hungry until my stomach growled, but something inside of me made the thought of getting food and eating it repulsive. i hesitated before grabbing on of peter's fries and popping it in my mouth. he didn't say anything, or really even care, and i didn't know if i liked that or not.

"okay. you have chem next, yeah?"

i blushed at the fact he knew.

"uh, yep," i snagged some more fries, feeling myself loosen up.

and then i realized, that's what this was; i was just in need of some time with actual people who weren't my parents.

i liked this. i liked talking to peter. it was easy. this was easy.

we laughed about some other things, like flash's new donkey haircut.

and i stole more fries. ned, betty, and mj (who normally sat two seats away) came over. the topic of cupid's day came up.

"how many do you think you'll get?" betty asked.

i looked up, "roses?"

"uh-huh."

ned spoke up, "you won't need to worry, bet, i'll get you a whole bouquet." he looked proud of himself.

"i'm not worried," she giggled, like the lovesick fool she was. it was gross. and yes i admit, it was slightly because i was jealous, but whatever. betty didn't have to act so idiotic and desperate.

betty's skinny, too.

"what about you, y/n?" peter said, locking eyes with me.

"i dunno. i never really get any."

something changed in peter's expression, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.

i took another fry. they were really good, for some reason.

"fattie," peter laughed, pulling his lunch tray back, "and then you complain about not getting roses!"

that caused a round of laughs in the small group, but my heart dropped to my feet.

i was right. i was overweight. even peter noticed.

freaking peter noticed.

god, i was ugly and fat, and even peter saw that.

of course he liked liz. he'd be crazy not to. she was curvy and skinny and petite and pretty and skinny.

she was skinny.

i didn't have her hourglass figure.

never did i ever want out of my own skin more.

"y/n?" pete frowned. "i-i'm sorry, it was a joke, i didn't-"

"no, no, not that. i, uh, i... forgot i was supposed to meet with a teacher. sorry. i have to go."

i didn't go to any teachers.

i did go to the bathroom.

and i hid in the handicapped stall. i didn't cry, or sob, or weep or whatever it was stupid girls did in hallmark movies or stuff.

i stood in front of the mirror and picked out everything i hated, making a mental list in my head.

i didn't finish that list, not even after 30 minutes when the bell rung.

-

the rest of the day flew by rather quickly, it seemed. i felt like i was trapped in a warm haze, but not the fuzzy, happy warmth. i didn't like the way i was thinking. it's like i wanted my brain to turn off, these intruding, ugly thoughts were taking up too much room.

i felt icky.

when i got home, i didn't have my normal after-school snack like i usually did. i went straight upstairs and did homework.

i finished two essays (one that wasn't due until two weeks, and one that was due two days from now), my math homework and studied for my math test, started my science project, and did my french flashcards (and studied them a bit).

i must have been locked in my room for hours, because by the time i got up, it was dark outside.

i wasn't a studious person, and the only reason i did any of this was to forget for a little while. to snap out of it. and for a while, it worked.

"y/n, honey!" my mom screamed from downstairs, and as i glanced at the clock, i realized it was time to have dinner.

but i wasn't hungry.

well, i was.

let me rephrase that; i didn't want to eat.

however, i didn't want my mother yelling at me, so i went down anyways. not that i was planning to eat.

"mom?"

"oh, hey. i already set the table, you seemed like you were working hard and i didn't wanna bother you. dad's working late. go sit down-"

"not hungry."

she frowned. "well, you have to eat something."

"but i'm not hungry," i said, hating how sharply it came out.

my mom gave me warning look. "look, i've had a long day, so don't start with me."

"mommmm," i whined.

"sit."

so i did. i felt bad about bothering her.

i ate. small, tentative bites, forcing it all down. we didn't talk.

silently, i put my dish in the sink, before heading upstairs. the food sat at the bottom of my stomach, like a pile of heavy rocks. i wanted them out.

so i turned on the shower and locked the bathroom door, kneeling in front of the toilet. i pressed my fingers to the back of my throat and kept them there for a second. at first, all i got was bile.

but then i threw up.

-

peter and i started talking more again. i think he got in a fight with liz.

i asked him if they were dating, and he said no.

i think he started hanging out with me again because i got skinny. i know for a fact that i'm skinnier than liz. i weigh less then her now.

the numbers told me that.

but i didn't listen.

i didn't stop, and how could i? when i'd gotten this far?

-

we got in a fight. not the yelling kind, though. well, kind of. i yelled a bit.

i thought he was complimenting me. he said i looked skinny, so i thanked him.

"no... i-" he paused, trying to get his thoughts together, "you look skinny, yes, but not in a good way."

"what? what do you mean? like, there's only a good way," i laughed, slightly nervous.

peter ingnored that. "have you been eating enough, angel?" his voice was soft, but there was worry in it. why was he worried? this is the best i've ever been.

"do you ask liz that, too?"

"i- what?"

"liz is skinny. you don't ask her that."

"that- that is different. y-you haven't been eating, have you? is-"

"god, parker! stop! it's none of your business!" maybe if i hadn't been so flustered, i'd have come up with a better comeback.

-

i was hunched over the toilet, but nothing was coming out. everything hurt.

my head. my stomach.

my throat was scratchy and raw.

i didn't hear the knocking on the door.

i don't really remember peter coming in. i thought i locked it. what was he doing at my house? i couldn't remember.

i wanted to sleep.

i think i was crying. i don't know. i only vaguely remember the hot tears.

i slightly remember him pulling me away from the toilet and into his arms. there were lots of holes in my memory for that day.

he stayed with me, though. one thing i'm sure about is that peter never left my side. i can recall bright lights. tubes. i was laying on something. white walls. white sheets.

what was engraved into my head was peter whispering "i love you" over and over again. in the bathroom. in the car. was it a car? as they hooked me up to cables.

all that mattered, though, was that i was skinny now. just the thought made me feel light and airy.

to think that all it took was a little motivation and a weighing scale.

[shujohajohaminnie]

Sooner

Pairing: Seungmin x fem!reader

Genre:Smut, Kinda Fluffy (Maybe)

Content: 18+ Minors dni 

Word Count: 2523

P.O.V: Both 1st and 2nd hope it’s not confusing 

Summary: Seungmin has a big crush on you, You have a big crush on him. Both parties unknowing. Will he tell you after seeing you half-naked? Will you tell him?

A/N: I did re-read it but I probably missed something because I’m tired. 

Afab!reader, Profanity, Slight pet name (2), Use of sir (1), Blowjob, Raw sex

“COME ON DON’T DO THIS TO ME” I whined banging the washer. It’s been three hours into my laundry day and I’ve washed zero loads. My washer would work like normal then spontaneously shut off after ten minutes. I’d unplug it from the wall hoping that it would fix the problem, only for it to run for just a couple minutes then shut off without warning. I’ve put off doing laundry for weeks solely for the reason that I knew I was going to struggle with my six-year-old washer and dryer. As much as I needed a new set they weren’t cheap and unfortunately, money didn’t fall from the sky. Fortunately for me, my second home / best friend's dorm has a perfectly good washer and dryer. I loaded my clothes into my car and made my way to Hyunjin's dorm hoping they weren’t using it. 

“Y/n?” Seungmin looked at me confused as he opened the door, “Hyunjin’s not here” He opened the door wider letting me in. I took off my shoes leaving them by the door, grabbing my slippers from my designated cubby space. “Where is he… where is everyone?” I looked around noticing the silence. “They’re recording in the studio today” “You didn’t go?” “I finished early, Chan Hyung let me come home early 'cause I had a headache, so I came and took a little nap” “Did I wake you… I’m sorry…do you want me to make you a tea, do you want me to make you lunch” “It's fine my headache it passed” “Oh that's good… I didn’t come to see Hyunjin… I came to see your washer and dryer” “My washer and dryer?” “Mine officially gave out… do you think I can borrow yours” “Uh” 

Seungmin hesitated he knew the process of you doing your laundry. You’d always ended up in only a towel as you threw the clothes you were wearing into your last load. You’d take clothes from your first load and take a shower. The reason being you wanted a clean body in clean clothes while also wanting to wash every piece of clothing you had. But what confused him every time was why didn’t you shower right after the first one came out while your other loads were going on, why did you wait until your last one? It didn’t bother Seungmin before, but lately, he’s seen you in a new light. To be completely honest he’s always had a crush on you, ever since Hyunjin introduced you as his best friend to the group he thought you were the prettiest woman he’s ever seen. But lately, his crush has only gotten worse since game night last week, when you were dared to kiss who you thought was the cutest boy in the room. Instead of going for who he thought were the more obvious choices you came straight for him placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Did you really think he was the cutest, did you feel the same way he felt for you? He couldn’t risk seeing you in just your towel and-

“Seungmin?” he was pulled away from his thoughts seeing you looking up at him with those eyes. God how he loved when you begged with your eyes, he’d make you beg for everything and anything just to see those eyes, knowing very well he’d give you whatever you wanted anyway. “You sure you’re good?” “What yeah I’m fine” “So can I use your washer and dryer or not” Say no say no “Yeah of course” Fuck. “Thanks” You smiled hurrying out the door to get your clothes before he could change his mind. 

“Thank you again for letting me wash my clothes here min, means a lot” I smiled placing my hand on his arm as I looked at him. He looked so hot in his grey sweats and black T-shirt. Even the most basic of clothes looked great on him. Truth be told I’ve had a crush on Seungmin for a long time the only reason for my silence on the topic being that I didn’t know if he felt the same. He was so hard to read at times all the time. I often found myself questioning whether he liked me despite the boys telling me he did. They could easily be messing with me, getting my hopes up to make a fool out of myself, But they could also be right. I noticed the way a blush crept on his cheeks after I kissed him at game night last week. Was it because he liked me, or because he was embarrassed in the sense that I just kissed him in front of all his closest friends. “Yeah of course… you know you’re always welcome here…we should give you a key at this point” he laughed placing his hand over mine. What is going on?

What was he doing? He panicked and did what he thought was right, placing his hand over yours. You looked so perfect and made him so nervous he suddenly felt so bold in touching you right back. “I-I’m gonna go take a shower…I’ll leave the door unlocked… just in case you need me” “I’ll keep that in mind” You spoke softly, that perfect smile he loved so much making him feel weak in the knees. You pulled away first, walking toward the laundry room just a couple of doors down from the bathroom. 

It was last load time, you carried your last load in your hands as you passed the bathroom door, the singing stopped, instead it was replaced by moans? You pressed your ear to the door hearing it clearly. Seungmin was moaning in the shower. “Fuck y/n” Were you hearing him correctly did he just moan your name? “Y/nnnnn” that was most definitely your name. You took the moment not wasting a second. You ran to the laundry room throwing the last pile of clothes in along with the one still on your body. You wrapped yourself around your towel heading straight towards him. You opened the door quietly, dropping the towel and slipping in the shower. You see him there stroking his hard cock eyes shut tight, your name still slipping past his lips. “Need help?” He jumped almost slipping on the water looking at your face… not daring to look further down. “Y-Y/n what are you doing here?” “You said to come in if I needed you… well, I need you min. I really need you” You whispered stepping closer to him with that same smile that was guaranteed to drive him insane. You could almost see it, the switch clicking in his head as he quickly grabbed your waist pinning you to the wall. “Is this what you wanted?” he whispered kissing your lips passionately. 

“Yes” I breathed out as he kissed my neck moving down to my chest. He moved a hand from my waist groping my left breast. A moan slipped out of my mouth as the realization hit me like a bus. I was really about to have sex with the man I had a monster crush on. “Are you sure?” He whispered pulling away. “No” I whined as he backed away from me. “No?” “No! I didn’t mean it like that… I want you Seungmin” He groaned getting closer to me kissing my neck once more. “C-can I uh can I” I started not knowing how to phrase the question in my head. “You wanna suck me off?” we laughed at how dirty it sounded despite the both of us being naked in a steaming hot shower. “Can I?” “Y-yeah” “Only if it’s okay with you” “If I’m okay with it… I wouldn’t pass on a blow job from a pretty girl” “You think I’m pretty?” I smiled looking at him feeling my cheeks warm up at the compliment. “I think you're more than pretty, I think you're smart, I think you’re amazing, I- I I like you” “You do?” “Mhmmm” “You have some way of showing it” I laughed kissing his neck slowly, moving lower and lower until I was face to face with his hard cock. It was definitely a shock. Despite Seungmin’s lean frame, his cock was different. He was long and girthy enough that I knew he wasn’t going to have a problem filling me up. The sight made my mouth water. My hand trembled as I slowly wrapped my palm around him. I kissed the tip before I opened my mouth taking in as much as I could, jerking off what I couldn’t. I started with a steady pace looking up to see his face shift into one of pleasure.  “You… you’re uh really good at that” He breathed out pulling my hair into a makeshift ponytail guiding me up and down his shaft. He groaned throwing his head back against the shower wall. I moaned sending vibrations through his dick. “F-f-fuck…that…I UGH I’m gonna cum” I shallowed my cheeks around him sending him over the edge. He groaned shutting his eyes violently as I felt his warm cum fill my mouth. I swallowed getting up to look at him “Y/n I-”  “I like you Seungmin” “Y-You do?” “I do” I smiled stepping closer to kiss him on the lips. “Why do you think I walk around in a towel when I’m doing laundry?” “You don’t do it in front of the others?” “Only if you’re there, Only if I know you’re watching me”. He wrapped his hand around my waist turning us around so that I was against the cold wall. One of his hands let go of me trailing down my thigh and towards my throbbing core. “Seungmin, please… I need you” “I know baby… I know” he shushed me as his fingers drew small circles on my clit. “Oh, my-” My nails dug into his arm as I felt that familiar feeling drawing close. “I’m gonna” “Cum… cum for me” He kissed me hungrily his words alone causing me to go over the edge. I felt adrenaline coursing through my veins sparks flying between us and stars surrounding us. 

He grabbed the back of my thigh guiding me to wrap my leg around his waist. “I’m gonna fuck you now” He breathed out shakily looking into my eyes. “M’kay” I nodded biting my lip in anticipation. “Use your words baby” “Yes sir”. He kissed me once more before he guided the tip of his dick at my entrance. My breath hitched as he slowly sank into me, and as expected I felt full of him as he bottomed out. I closed my eyes at the slight sting waiting patiently for it to turn into bliss. “Are you okay… do you want to stop” “N-no just give me a minute” “I should’ve stretched you out with my fingers first, I just didn’t expect for you to be this tight” he chuckled holding my hand his thumb drawing back and forth on the top of my hand in an attempt to comfort me, and it did. I slowly opened my eyes to look into his. It was always around Seungmin that I felt at ease, surrounded by peace and warmth. “You can move” I whispered letting go of his hand to bring him close hugging him. He thrusted in and out of me planting sweet kisses on my neck and chest. “Seungmin… I’m” He nodded kissing my lips, and he grabbed my other leg picking me up against the wall. Another shock from him, his strength. This new angle causing him to hit my G-spot even better than before. I placed my face in the crook of his neck moaning against his skin, my nails dragging across his back leaving behind red marks. He hissed at the feeling closing his eyes and throwing his head back. 

“I’m gonna cum” he spoke through gritted teeth, and by the way you were clenching around him you were close too. “Cum inside me” “What” “I’m on the fucking pill just cum inside me” You yelled hugging him even tighter. The room was filled with steam and your unholy pornographic moans as you both came down from your high together. He pulled out putting you down and moving the both of you under the shower head. The water washed over the other of you as you stayed in his embrace the both of you catching your breath. You pulled away to look into his eyes. Feeling yourself blushing from his gaze. “What” “Nothing” you smiled hiding your face in his chest. “Did you mean when you said you liked me” “I did” “I like you too Minnie” you laughed hugging him once more. The both of you finished your shower and walked out of the restroom hand in hand with a smile resting on both of your faces. Only to be met with the rest of the members in the living faces mixed with disgust, shock, happiness, and in Han's case wiggling eyebrows and a sly smirk. “FUCKING FINALLY” Changbin yelled walking past us to his bedroom. 

“Sooooo” Chan started his mouth forming a straight line as he looked at the both of us. “Are you guys a couple?” he asked awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room. The other members had already left to their respective rooms getting ready to go out to dinner for the night. Not without Hyunjin marching over to the both of you yelling at the top of his lungs about the fact that you used the ‘nice restroom’. Complaining how he’ll never be able to even look at that door without wanting to puke. Only to be disgusted once more when he saw a careless Changbin walk past the three of you into the restroom to shower as well.  But then there was Chan confused as ever. He had to make sure that both his friend and brother/second youngest were thinking with their heads and not just their. “Yeah” Seungmin answered his previous question holding onto your hand and flashing you his beautiful braced smile that caused you to melt almost every time. “Right?” “I mean we're working a bit backwards… he’ll still take me on a first official date… right?” “YES… yes sorry I uh-” “Well as long as you two are happy and know what you’re doing” “We do thanks Chan” “Yeah thank you old man” Seungmin smiled walking us towards his bedroom. 

Who would’ve known that your closed-off crush felt the same towards you, apparently all of your friend group. If only you would have listened sooner.

Like, comment, and repost if you liked it, The other two pieces I'm m working on should be out this week. Both being requests. Once again don't be afraid to request anything that comes to mind, and thank you to the ones that do.

Until next time. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[littlewitchlilith]

New HOTD trailer, Here are my thoughts

1st. Daemon entering the throne room gives me Daenerys season 2 vision in the throne room for some weird reason.

2nd. CREGAN STARK CRUMBS, also Jace had a serious glow up. Also I really Hope we see Cregan use the ancient valyrian steel sword of stark Ice.

3rd. I find it interesting how nearly all Alicent's scenes in the trailers has her in serene areas or places of nature, maybe its just me but I seems like she's trying to hold on to the little girl she once was, she's trying to hold on to her former friendship with Rhaenyra. She's shown wearing a blue dress which gives me young Alicent.

4rth. I can't wait to see more Rhaenys and Nyra moments.

5th. I like the slight changes they are making with Aegon and Rhaenyra. They both seem more involved with the war and are clearly taking part in it. I like how they are making Aegon have more personality. Personally I always thought show Aegon was more observant

6th, I want to see Daemon and Rhaenys relationship. I want to see the relationship of all the Targaryens. Aemond and Aegon, Jace and Daemon, the twins. I literally can't wait to see how the war will affect their relationships.

7th DRAGONSSSSS. Also I was so confused when I saw Vermithor. I thought he was the cannibal because he didn't look like that in s1 in my opinion. Also Sunfyre and Moondancer my babies can't wait to see more dragons. Literally the real reason I started watching the show fr.

8th Otto saying that the great houses will support Aegon is so funny to me because most of them called in support of Rhaenyra.

9th. Daemon just being all "this is fun and games" about war in the trailer is interesting because we know Daemon lives in chaos and violence and I like how adaptable he is. Like he can live in war or in peace and still find enjoyment in life or have moments to have little laughs. I really hope we do get some happy or peaceful scenes in s2 despite the war going on. The good moments in these dark times kind of thing.

10th Can't wait to see the Velaryon fleet in action. I want to see Corlys taking command. After all he's known as the greatest seafarer. I want to see it in action not just hear it from other characters, also I can't wait for Corlys arc in the show, his relationship with Rhaenys, his grandchildren, Adam and Alyn how the show is going to play that out.

11th Is it just me or did they make the dragons bigger this season because Caraxes looks huge. In the "leader strong enough scene" I was like who's that until Caraxes moved and I was like NOODLE BOI but he just looked so much bigger than in Season 1, Sunfyre and Meleys and Vermithor also appear so much bigger than before, like we only see Sunfyre for a second but he seemed small, also Syrax and Seasmoke as well look like got growth spurts or something in the last trailers.

11th. It's sad that Rhaenyra has to ask Daemon if he sees her as the rightful ruler and I give me whiplash to when she asked Criston Cole if he believed the real would ever accept her as queen. I believe he said they will have to and it makes me curious to see what Daemon's response to her question is, because we know that Daemon did want the throne but he does still love his family and show Daemon is a lot less worse than book Daemon especially in regards to Rhaenyra but like his face when she asks him that question it seems to me like he's conflicted or even hesitant to answer her and I genuinely wonder why.

12th. Aemond. I'm curious what they are going to do with Aemond this season, He seems to be enjoying the war as a whole which makes sense given the fact that season gives subtle hints that he wants a more worthy opponent to fight than Criston Cole and he sees that with Daemon, like he seems a bit like his book version but I feel it's a facade he's putting on because he knows he's very much responsible for war for the pain and suffering his family is currently going through, he knocked over the dominos that Alicent and Otto set up. I think this facade will be his way of coping with that guilt, he's branded a kinslayer now and he's accepting it in his own way. I think his relationship with Alicent will come to light more, the two were close in the last season but the trailer hints that they've clearly become estranged, I feel like Alicent despite how angry she is at Aemond want to continue to cling to him and it's one of the reasons she wants the war to end not just her former friendship with Rhaenyra but because she doesn't want her children to die in what she deems a senseless war. Aemond however want to continue to fight he wants the chaos so him calling Alicent by her name instead of mother is interesting almost like he's trying to distance himself from her and evolve as his own person because it does seem like Alicent see's him as a mini version of herself, their does seem to be something parentification on her part towards him and I think he's slowly catching on to that. Idk like theirs so many opinions and ideas going on in my head regarding Aemond.

13th showings Aegon and Rhaenyra in grief at the same time is interesting to me because regarding of wether or not you support one or the other, they have so much in common. Take out every awful thing Aegon has done and everything he will do, they really aren't that different. Both grew up ignored and neglected by Viserys, young Rhaenyra points out that all Viserys wanted as she was growing up was a son, a male heir. When he gets Aegon his son, his male heir he blatantly ignores and neglects him and his siblings in favor of Rhaenyra. Both their mothers go through tremendous amounts of pain and suffering that they both have to be a witness or even aware of and it's seen as all for nothing, both lose everything during the war that everyone says is rightfully theirs, like we know for Aegon it wasn't true but tradition isn't something that is easy to break even now in our times we have our traditions and if someone comes in and tries to change them be react defensively. I don't support Aegon and I don't see him as the rightful king but he is an heir wether we like it or not, he's more the heir than Daemon or even Rhaenys is, personality has nothing to do with it if that was the case than Maegor wouldn't have been considered an heir either. Both Rhaenyra and Aegon are basically one in the same.

14th mysaria herself is someone who intrigues me I'm curious of what her role will be this season because we know she helped put Aegon on the throne last season by handing Aegon over but she does have a former relationship with Daemon.

15th "War is coming and neither of us may win" is such foreshadowing because regarding of wether you are team black or team green no one really wins because yes Rhaenyra's line does continue the Targaryen line but she goes down in history as a usurper despite her being the named heir by the king and while Aegon lives longer than Rhaenyra, he's still killed shortly after by his own men and is succeeded by Rhaenyra's son. Still both lose everything by the time of their deaths and are half the shells of the people they once were.

[mrsjavierp]

Where you belong?

Chapter 3 - Acquainted

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing, bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN, no description of the reader.

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: thanks so much for all your love! Sorry to keep you waiting, hope you like it!

*

Narrator's POV:

Coming out of the shower, Javier, once more, fought against his crave to remember:

Y/N dancing, he could see himself holding that body close...

Stop it, Javier! - he thought

Y/N wearing her red lipstick and a black dress, he could almost feel her lips on his...

No, stop it! - he continued.

Y/N almost purring when she called that stupid barman by "mi amor", oh, he could do so much: He could punish her, he could imagine her moaning...

No, fuck, no! - his voice in his mind almost screamed. - Stop, Javier. He doesn't want you, why would she anyway?

Y/N didn't even like Peña, so he believed...

Of course Y/N's supposed rejection towards Javier could be explained by a bunch of reasons: he was arrogant, was a complicated subordinate, a living RH nightmare, hated to follow the rules and orders, and risks? Oh, the stupid risks...

Truth be told, Javier Peña was fucked up in a lot of ways.

His boss had hella of work to do, a reputation to manage and maintain. If she's half as smart as he thought, she would have studied her team, to say the least.

Javier Peña had a problem, although. He wasn't expecting or counting that she would be so fucking perfect: loved whiskey and cigars, smart and hot as hell, such an angel that a devil like him definitely did NOT deserve.

And, of course, didn't want anything to do with him.

And now, she was just a few steps away, right next door.

Javier took a deep breath, trying to pick up an outfit, be damned the day he said "Yes" to Connie and Steve to join them at the USA's club in Bogota.

*

Y/N's POV - 1st Person

I should've known better... I should've said something before... I knew I wasn't gonna run away forever. - I thought. - Oh fuck, and he just entered home, like, in the morning. Where have you been, Peña? Stop it! Leave it!

I shook my head, trying to keep him out.

I had so much to do, groceries, Mail, beauty salon, bank, Yoga... Then, I'd go check the USA's club here.

But he had to show up like that? When I'm trying to dodge him?

Around 1 pm, I went to the damn club, they checked my ID and let me in.

It seemed really nice, with lots of activities, different sports, a bar, restaurant, SPA... It almost felt like an advantage to fight the drug war.

After I changed and put my bag into the locker they lent to me, I walked around for a while, until I decided to lay by the pool, wearing nothing but my red bikini, enjoying the heat and the breeze.

All was missing: a good drink and a bittersweet cigar.

*

Steve, Connie and Javi arrived about 2 o'clock, and the club looked a little bit empty than it would be on such a beautiful day. All of them were still trying to recover from the insane amount of tequila they drank.

All 3 agreed to go to the pool, since it was such a beautiful day and the bar provided all they needed.

Connie started to babble about Y/N, when they sat down, how she was a strong, smart woman. She wasn't a pushover... If so, Y/N was hard working and demanding of all of the DEA.

Javier made a face, while Y/N was the subject. He just wanted a little bit of peace, just to forget about you, until Monday. Murphy knew his partner like a few, and loved to mess with him even more.

Steve pretended that he didn't understand what bothered Javier so badly and endorsed Connie.

Steve ordered the beers, trying to enjoy a little break from all.

Javier's mind went to a place he avoided, just like the night before: his life in the US.

Truth be told, he could've brought Lorraine, she could try to make a home, he could see his son grow a little closer... But when they offered a chance to escape his wife, he left without looking back.

Colombia, despite all the problems, meant freedom to be, peace to live. He left the US, but brought an old self, another version, honoring his so called fame as "Laredo's leg spreader".

Not even his marriage kept Javier safe from that fame.

Of course, Lorraine and her family ignored all the comments and rumors about it, and when they've got a shot, loved to put Lorraine as a savior, his savior from a life of sins and depraved behavior.

Of course, Javier avoided doing anything at Laredo or its proximity.

But, again, Colombia was a new world, even with an anchor.

Once a week, he called his son, his little boy who was 3 years old, sent letters very often, sent money, different toys and... Was obligated to actually speak to Lorraine.

How could Javier deny his baby boy a family, just like he had?

Well, not exactly like that. Chucho and su mama loved each other a lot, not the same case as he had in his so-called relationship.

Avoiding another self-pity session, Javier made an effort to hunt his next company to bring home... At the same time, he spotted a hella of a piece of ass, wearing a ridiculously small red bikini.

Although Javier couldn't see a face yet, he was quite amused by the view and continued to appreciate it.

A few minutes later, a waiter came to serve her... With a scotch.

Neat scotch.

That's odd. - he thought. - what a coincidence.

She sat down, still not facing him. Her hair was smooth, with the wind playing with it.

"Showtime!" - he whispered to himself, leaving Connie and Steve.

Walking, as if he was the king of the world, towards the red bikini lady, he could see a little more... Her smooth skin, her curves, her nice ass, that was even hotter seeing it closely... Even noticed something on her ribs, maybe a tattoo?

Javier, the king of the world, was wearing a white speedo and open button down linen shirt, his aviator sunglasses, flip flops and his cocky smile...

A smile that started to fade, as her beautiful body became more familiar, her fresh perfume invaded his nostrils... And Y/N finally looked at him.

"There's no fucking way..." - he thought.

Steve and Connie felt like they're watching a stupid romcom, holding themselves, trying not to laugh in a way they'd notice.

"Agent Peña?" - she called him, pretending to be confused, yet, with her mouth watering so badly when notices his cock throbbing through his speedo.

A ridiculous tight speedo, that left little to no imagination.

You ignored the arousal between your legs.

As you spoke his name, with that mocking tone, that accent, that voice he hated to love, Javier became borderline painful. It felt like all of his blood went straight to his cock.

And there was him, dick hard as a rock, wearing small white swimming trunks, face to face with Y/N, the woman who he was positively sure hated his guts.

His jefe.

In parallel, little did Javier Jesus Peña know how you were drooling over his figure.

Of course you're having the time of your life, seeing the embarrassment all over his face, as he did not expect any of that...

However, not only your mouth, but also your very much wet cunt, clenching over nothing.

You got up, walked slowly on purpose, saving that unholy view, to greet that devil.

You meet halfway, but close to the pool.

"Javier Jesus Peña..." - she said, his name dancing on her lips. To him, it felt like something bittersweet. Felt like a motherfucking sin, a curse. - "What brought, better, who dragged you here? Let me guess, Connie and Steve?"

"Si, jefe." - he responded, still in disbelief. - "Care to join us?" - he showed the table. - "I know how you like'em."

Fighting Escobar seemed like eating candy, compared to the effort he was doing to look calm.

"Sure, will be nice. I did not expect company, since we all drank tequila as if it was water... Not even from you, given that you arrived in the morning." - and she laughed.

Javier offered to pick up her stuff, as she made her way to the seat. You let him, trying to keep it together.

In fact, you kept together, just not enough to walk straight, since you fell into the poll.

Per instinct, Javier took off his sunglasses and jumped, to save her.

"Gracias, Javi..." - he noticed that was the first time she called him by nickname.

You had military training, was an unbelievably fast and handy fighter, could take down a man twice your size, knew how to survive in the jungle, to shoot, to swim, to kill... You're Head Chief of the DEA.

Not to Javier, at the moment.

You're just a lady in danger to him.

Yes, Javier Peña was a manwhore, that was no secret, he fucked half of Bogota, was no stranger to brothels... But, on the other hand, he could be a gentleman. He grew up in Texas, it was his southern way.

Javier picked you up in his big and strong arms and took you to the edge of the pool. For a few, he could feel your soft skin, now wet, shivering... Saw your nipples get hard and appear though the bikini…

You really meant to thank him.

Javier just nodded, still taking in all those feelings and sensations, especially the one of having you so close, you fit so well against him...

*

Next

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: 🙀 Cat Prime

So last night I played Metroid Prime Remastered, checked socials later to find.... Cat confirmed for Monster Hunter Wilds.

Cat

Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat

Where was I? Ok yeah, Metroid Prime.

So Metroid Prime is pretty much my first Metroid game that I've played and to completion. A fine game for the Gamecube, it and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes were for me a big introduction to that style of game, often reffered to as Metroidvania. Perhaps that was why I choose to play this last night after covering castlevania the night before.

Now, while the games are highly praised now with the prime trilogy serving as an example of a trilogy done right, that'll soon change with a 4th entry coming soon turning it in a quadrilogy. Then again maybe it'll be a second trilogy like the star wars sequel trilogy.... oh I dun jinxed it didnt I?

Thing is, while the games are great now, y'all recall how people felt when it was coming to release? It was a pretty chill reception towards the news that this new metroid game would be departing from the classic formula and be a first person game. See, after super metroid, people were waiting for a new metroid game on the N64, hoping to see Samus jump into the 3d space. Nintendo however wasnt sure how to best do a metroid game in 3d so the N64 was skipped for the metroid series, smash bros being the only case of seeing Samus on the system. So when people hear that a Metroid game is coming soon to Gamecube, there was some hype over the announcement, people were excited but when the news about it being 1st person was out, some folks had a change of tone.

There was quite a bit of groaning over this change, people felt that this new direction wouldnt work for the series and that this new Metroid Prime would bomb hard. And then the game launched amd everyone agreed it kicked ass. I bring this up because this isnt something new, people are still doing this thing of writing something off and saying its bad before its even out. Its pretty common to see in the comments of trailers and previews of folks just dunking on what was shown, decrying it as garbage or bad before the feature is released to the public.

People have dunked on Deadlock based on unfinished assests that were leaked. People have dunked on GTA VI back when the only thing shown at the time were test footage leaked from hackers. People were already writing off the Silent Hill 2 remake by bloober team because of Konami's track record and Bloobers awful storytelling but are quick to change their minds with the recent gameplay trailer and news that a lot of the original devs are on board to handle the story aspects and are expanding on certain things they themselves wanted to expand on.

It's just, is it not common sense to atleast wait until something is fully released before critiquing it? Maybe dont judge a meal on raw ingredients alone? Because when its not dunking on something for being another rouglelike, another pixel art game, another hero shooter or another soulslike, its stupid shit like "dei"...

Maybe Cynicism has grown to become everyones goto mood these days. Why bother with getting excited for something when it'll likely bomb. If you adopt a negative attitude, then worst case you'll feel justified for writing it off and if its good, then you get to be pleasantly surprised. Its win-win right? Except, when you assume the worst about anything, about everyone, you end up going down a very nihilistic rabbit hole where you dont feel hopeful about anything out of a belief that it'll only let you down.

Cynicism may feel like a safe bet but it should never be a replacement for optimism.

Where was I? Right, Prime. So Metroid Prime has a remastered version which is honestly just damn fine. The original game had some wonderful enviroments to explore with some fantastic visuals that made the gamecube just shine compared to its... more successful... contemporaries. So booting up the remaster and finding the visuals look even better here, damn, kudos to the devs who handled the remaster, this is just impressive.

Storywise the game does seem a bit sparse in that department, at least in my opinion. You go to the frigate, find out ridley is alive again and chase him to tallon iv and.... bum around ruins I guess. I mean there is the impact crater and the goal of getting the artifacts to open the way to the source of the phazon but... what was samus's main goal throughout the game? Was it to find Ridley and put him down, again. It seems like you mostly forget about him until the Phendrana Drifts cutscene where he flys over and at his boss battle. To be fair I havent really took a deep dive into the lore in game so my memory might be hazy.

One thing I can definatly recall from the original and in this remaster is a lot of points where you're are required to backtrack to a lot of areas to get essential items. You beat the major boss at Chozo Ruins, you move on from there throught Magmoor and Phendrana and then you're required to go back and deal with ghosts to get the ice beam, and you'll have to come back again once you get the X-ray visor so you can deal with them back at the ruins boss room. I can maybe recall a lot reviews crticising this about the game but maybe this is just a moot point since it gives you an opportunity to grab any missle expansions and energy tanks that you werent able to get before.

Something new with the remaster is a selection of controls, allowing the classic controls from the original release, motions controls similar to the wii port, a hybrid set of both controller and motions and finally a twin stick layout thats based on more convential controls. I mainly just stuck with classic since its what im used too but also because its what the original game was designed around.

One feature that this game started is the scan visor which your feelings on it will depend on whether you're doing a 100% or a casual run. On a casual run the scan visor is useful for learning about enemy weaknesses and learning about the emviroments, gathering bits of chozo and pirate lore to learn about the world you're exploring. On a 100% though, it can be a bit of chore to scan anything that counts towards your percentage, power ups, enemies, bosses and any lore you come across. You're gonna need to whip that scan visor out frequently at times just to make sure you don't miss anything.

You know what, as good looking as this remaster is, I wonder why they did this and not just port Metroid Prime Trilogy, the collection of games bundled for wii? They even brought it over to the Wii U's Virtual Console. Why not port that instead of this remaster? And are they planning to remaster Echoes and Corruption later? I'm not entirely sure but in the end, one thing is certain...

They didnt include any of the unlocks from GC Prime... no NES Metroid.... not even the fusion suit.... lame.... still nice tho..

Thank you all for reading this, feel free to leave game suggestions and feedback. Anons are currently on.

[ladyyy-marmalade]

There’s always a consequence

Eva and Jacks have been sneaking around for a while, but when Eva begins to get sick, she realizes there might be a consequence that comes with it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Evangeline looked around her room, noticing Jacks was still there. “Jacks you have to get out of here before Apollo sees you!” she said as she shook him gently. Jacks rolled over and groaned but did not wake until he heard a voice down the hall. He quickly got up and hid in the closet, which he did on a regular basis. It had been three months since Evangeline and Jacks had realized they could finally be together, and so Jacks frequently spent the night, but never got up in time. Apollo walked in and handed flowers to Eva. “For my queen!” Apollo sat down on the bed and kissed Eva, but she pulled away stating she was sick. But all of a sudden, she truly did feel sick. She pushed Apollo aside and quickly threw up in the trash can. “What’s wrong my dearest?” Evangeline looked at Apollo “Nothing, just ate too much last night!” Apollo left the room and Evangeline followed. “I’ll just go to the doctor! I’ll be fine don’t worry!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A week later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evangeline finally went to the doctor after a week of being sick. She was definitely worried, and so was Jacks, so he came with her. “You really don’t need to come Jacks. I can come to the doctor on my own.” Jacks grabbed her hand “Yes I do need to come. And you’re not changing my mind.” They walked into the exam room and the doctor took Evangeline’s urine sample and did a few tests while waiting for the results. When the doctor got back she had a slight smile on her face. “Evangeline. I have no idea how you’re gonna react to this news but I am certainly happy to tell you this! You are pregnant!” Evangeline’s jaw dropped and Jacks stood there speechless. “T-thank you doctor. I really must be going now!” Evangeline and Jacks left the room together not saying a word until they left the building. “Jacks…what are we going to do? I’m married! And i’ve never even slept with the guy. So he’ll know i’m cheating.” Jacks looked down and grabbed her waist with one hand and chin with the other. “We can run away, you can divorce him, we can hire a hitman for all I care, but I love you. I will not leave your side no matter what you choose.” Jacks leaned in and kissed her, passionately and with more love than he ever has.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Apollo…can we talk?” Apollo looked at Eva and stared at her for a second. “Why yes my love! What seems to be troubling you?” Eva looked in the hall at Jacks for a moment. “I want a divorce.” Apollo’s eyes grew angry. “A divorce!? Are you out of your mind? I’ve given you everything you want and you want a divorce?! May I ask why?” Evangeline looked back at Jacks. “I miss my old life. The life of a royal is not for me.”

(With Jacks- 1st person point of view)

I’ve never felt the way I do when it comes to my Evangeline. So when the doctor told us she was pregnant, I was speechless, with both joy and confusion. Now I stand in the hallway, knowing that people are going to notice, specifically LaLa, that something is going on between us. I’m just scared of how she’ll react. I understand that this is just a consequence, somewhat working in mine and Evangeline’s favor in some ways.

~~~~After the divorce~~~~~~~

LaLa had come to visit Evangeline, only just hearing of the divorce, even though it was finalized months ago, almost a year actually. Evangeline and Jacks now had a beautiful baby girl, and no one knew about her, knowing it would be bad if anyone did. LaLa had actually come barging through Jacks door looking for Jacks, assuming he knew where Eva was. When she barged in and saw him cleaning up toys and cleaning his house, she knew something was up. “What on earth is going on? You don’t need baby toys so why are they here?” Jacks looked up, so focused he didn’t even realize she was there. “That’s none of your business. What are you doing here? Get out!” LaLa gasped. “You’re seriously kicking me out? I just came to see if you knew were Eva was. I just found out she was divorced!” Jacks looked at his bedroom door. “No I don’t know where she is. So now please leave.” LaLa left the house for just a moment, realizing she left something inside, she walked back in and saw Jacks walking into the bedroom with Evangeline, only recognizable by her hair. She walked to the door “JACKS! EVA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?” Jacks walked out with a sheet wrapped around his waist. “I thought you didn’t know where Eva was?” Eva walked out of the room with a sheet wrapped around her chest, but because she knew her daughter would wake any second to all the screaming. Eva waited, for minutes, then finally decided to say something. “LaLa, it is truly great to see you, you just have really bad timing. So sorry!” And that was when the baby started crying. LaLa looked at the two of them. “Do not tell me that’s a baby. She was divorced a week ago.” Jacks looked at Eva then back at LaLa. “Sit down. LaLa. Eva was divorced almost a year ago. Only hit the papers this week. She divorced Apollo after we found out she was pregnant with my child, not Apollo’s-who she never slept with. Ever since then we’ve been living here. But you cannot tell anyone.” LaLa stated at Jacks while Eva walked out of the nursery holding her daughter. She handed him to Jacks and began telling the whole story to LaLa. And to sum up everything she said “There’s always a consequence, but this is the best one that’s ever happened to me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End. ❤️

i tried to put #acftl but it wouldn’t let me 😭

[peerbear]

Where Currents Meet THE SHOOT

The much-awaited Where Currents Meet shoot was upon us and even though I had a week and a half between shoots it barely felt like enough time to gather myself, my thoughts and everything I knew I needed to bring together what Bethany wanted in the film. I was much more nervous going into this project because I feel less confident in camera than I feel in sound. I don't know what it is but my imposter syndrome strikes me with this every time. I think part of it could be the organisation aspect and getting to a point where I can see a shot in my head can take a lot of time to immerse myself into.

The shoot started off at Craiglockhart kit stores as usual where I went through equipment and organised it by department. Sadly I only skimmed it and there were some major issues I missed, this was in part due to being in a bit of a rush as I hoped to stick to the planned schedule of the day. Alex arrived after a previous engagement and helped me load up the car. I was very impressed by how he packed the car. Usually, I like to do this by myself but this time it was a pleasure having someone else who appreciated packing a car nicely too. We headed off and made our way to Broughty Ferry.

The next couple of days of shooting had to shift around quite a bit due to the weather. We were so dependent on ensuring that our ocean shoot day would be in the best possible conditions.

On the first day it was pouring so we filmed the bedroom scene (scene 7), which was our only indoor scene. This was quite the disaster because all of the dedolights were broken with frayed snapped cables. This was something I had missed in my quick scan of the equipment so instead of a three-point lighting set-up with a bounce fill, I had to use just two lights to do it, one of which was Tom's mini LED. At the time I was convinced we needed to reshoot it up until the last day, when I realised I had to let it go because it would not have been a logical thing to do. I was really happy because we redid the overhead shot that we had done in the test shoot and this time it made the cut.

That evening Tim and I, my 1st AC for a big part of the shoot fashioned a waterproof camera housing for the camera. It was more of a splash-proof housing but it ensured that I could keep the camera completely dry throughout the shoot. Only on the last day I filmed without it and this was a clear day on the beach where we only shot scenes outside of the water. Sadly I don't have any photos of us constructing the housing but this can be seen in detail in the photos above where I write about the fourth day.

On the second day first, we shot the scene in the woods (scene 5) where Iris trips. This went pretty smoothly and just about how we wanted it. The only thing was that it was raining so the camera housing stayed on. This meant the camera was safe and we could shoot regardless, but the reflections of the Polly Bag were difficult to see through at first. Later on that day, we filmed the bus stop scene (scene 3) and the pavement scene (scene 4). Both had different factors that were issues for us. For the bus stop scene, we had to make sure no one else was at the bus stop so we would have to wait and shoot around the bus schedule and the timings of people waiting at the bus stop. This worked out in the end. For the pavement scene, our main issue was continuity and lighting, the sun kept changing whether it was out or not. When it was out I embraced the flares as I knew Bethany would like and this ended up making it into the final edit. I was a little worried about continuity here but there was nothing we could do as the sun was going down quickly.

The third day was the big day. Here we shot our water scenes. For the first half of the day, we shot the opening scene (scene 1) where Iris is on her board in the water and Kallie is on the shore. This was really hard to shoot because we were running against the time of the tides, even though I believe this had been factored into our schedule we had to move set after every shot and it just wasn't attainable. We tried our best but Iris ended up being even more in the shallows than we had planned, which was good for camera and sound would not have made it further into the water. We tried to make this work for us as best we could and I don't think it is clear in the final film just how shallow we were. For the second half of the day, we had the second half of the final scene (scene 8) which is where Kallie and Iris are in the water. We had to shoot this very quickly because one of our actresses was very cold and was clearly reaching her limit but not admitting to it so we decided to call it a day even though we had a whole other scene in the water that we were going to shoot. Sadly the final scene that we did shoot did not make it into the final edit because the others felt the actress looked too cold in that shot to the extent that it took away from the scene.

On the fourth day, we shot our scene at the river and then at the bridge (parts one and two of scene 6). The river scene went pretty well, although, after three days of handheld, I was beginning to feel it so I struggled a bit with this scene as there was a segment where the actresses sit down and I tried to track this movement down. Otherwise, this scene went smoothly. We then shot the bridge scene which again went relatively smoothly even though it had a pretty complex choreography. When we were making the storyboard, Bethany and I had planned this through precisely so we knew what we were doing and Bethany knew exactly what she wanted. This went well and we managed to finish early that day.

On the final day, I removed the plastic protection, it was a bit frazzled and the forecast was no rain and little wind so the equipment was safe that day of course we were extra careful and I still had my protective lens filter on the lenses. That day we shot scene 2 which we had had to rewrite over the previous two days because we did not want to put that one actress in the water again. Instead, we made it look as if she was coming out of the water so we would spray her between takes. Again she got quite cold so we did not go on for very long, but we got everything we needed. I was happy with my shots here. Then we moved onto the first half of the final scene (scene 8) and I think I got my favourite shots of the whole film here. We had to filter the sunlight on their faces but I feel this worked really well in the end.

I have to say my camera team was super helpful and without them I would not have managed to do it. Tim was very meticulous and this was really helpful at times to get things correct. Tom was also really helpful, especially with his LED that saved the bedroom scene's indoor lighting set-up. Cal was my star and my rock in the camera department, he made me feel at ease and calmed me down with his presence when I was stressed. He was always helpful and had something positive to say, I'm so glad to have had this experience with him as we never worked together until now.

Here are some photos from when we wrapped:

Overall I felt the shoot went well and we got some good material. It was a big learning curve for me because I did not find it easy navigating some things amongst some additional crew and others, but I have learned to be more resilient and firm when it needs to happen for the benefit of my group members as well as myself. I'm also proud because I remember this time around in my third year I was considering repeating a year and feeling like I would never DOP again, and this year I have done it on a grad film that I feel suits me very well.

[sunskate]

Cup of China RD:

i like this Bratti/Somerville Prince RD better than either of their programs last season. it's still the Ian show sometimes, he performs like it's a solo spotlight, but it feels like they got feedback that they have to work on their connection, and oof coming off the ice and in the k&c, he's trying, but it looks so alien lol she looks uncomfy and he looks like he's copying things he's seen other people do which don't come naturally, like hugging his partner😅 mark hanretty said they made a "unique choice of edge" for the 1st set of twizzles (outside edge - i guess with the leg extended, balance is difficult), and ben agosto called these "the hardest twizzles in ice dance right now"

how did Pate/Bye ever beat a pretty clean Lopareva/Brissaud at Autumn Classic. i had to look up lift levels to understand how a RoLi that doesn't change positions can be level 4

i want to like Kazakova/Revia's RD because i like them, but 3 of the 4 songs have the exact same mid-tempo - the energy never varies, so i find myself getting bored. they use a fast song only for the last 10 seconds whyyy there's no arc to this program

omg. LaLa - amazing. the detail, the sharpness of their dancing, the speed, the musicality - how far they've come in such a short time with this program. idk why he's taken to wearing darker foundation or bronzer for their RDs since last season, but he was splotchy like he'd swiped at his face since the warm up 😅 can't wait to see their FD coming in as the leaders😭

Gr/Pa skating after LaLa highlighted that they're less sharp. there's nothing that really stands out in this program. it's good but not really memorable

Piper and Paul on the other hand - i kind of love the first half of this. it has its own vocabulary of movement that's different and makes sense - i still don't get why her closet and his closet are on different planets, but the dance itself is great- the funny little vertical hops, the roll, there's something exuberant and playful about it. the second half is a little more conventional until the RoLi. i really like their programs this season, i would not have guessed this would happen

[nyroom]

Coffins of Glass and Mako - Chapter 2

Cloud didn't know he had been waiting for this until it had become his reality. However, there are many unanswered questions begging for acknowledgement.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 3] [A03 Link]

There had been a few observations that Cloud had made in the days since the lab.

For one, the heart monitor’s rhythmic beeping never changed pace. Cloud could tap his foot along with it and never fall out of sync. Second, the breathing of the patient who was hooked up to said heart monitor was also synced with its beeping. After three beeps, their chest would rise or fall. It was always three beeps.

Third, hospital chairs were not made to be sat in for hours on end.

It had been five days since Cloud had found his dead best friend floating in a mako tube. Now he was lying prone and unmoving on a hospital bed, hooked up to the rhythmically beeping heart monitor and breathing in three beep successions. That heart monitor was the only thing that proved that, by some grace of a deity unknown, said best friend was actually alive and not a vivid hallucination.

Cloud could have sworn that Zack had died out there in the wastelands. For all the things he’s forgotten, the resurfaced memory of Zack breathing his last breath had now been burned into his brain. He was dead. Had been dead.

So why the hell was he breathing now?

After his impromptu trip to the lab, Cloud had bit the bullet and called Tifa for help. One thing led to another and, eventually, Tseng and his team of Turks had come down to examine Zack’s tank. It was there that they had informed Cloud that, though his vitals were weak, he was alive. Stabilizing him was another hurdle, let alone the possibility of him waking up, but he was alive. Shinra hadn’t just stuck his corpse into a mako tank to use for research.

Alive. He was alive.

Cloud bitterly wondered just how much the Turks knew about this. After all, the Turks knew everything. Yet when Tseng had first set eyes on Zack, Cloud remembered seeing the briefest flickers of surprise and something else passing his face. It had almost seemed like pain.

It wasn’t a clear cut admission of guilt, but it wasn’t the detached and collected air that Cloud had come to expect from the Turk. It was enough to trust him, at least for the time being.

Now, five days later, here Zack lay; stable and comatose, just like the Turks had said. And for each day he laid here, Cloud kept a vigil by his bedside. Some had said that it was pointless to wait for him to wake up, that it would be more humane to let nature take its course and return him to the Lifestream. Yet they had said the same thing about mako poisoning, and Zack had never let that stop him.

Nor would Cloud. He’d stay here every day until his last. It was the least he could do.

Unfortunately, the monotony of waiting left Cloud with questions that had been bubbling beneath his subconscious since his tumble into the lab. What the hell had they been using Zack for? Why was the project a failure? Why the hell had he been manacled? Had he fought back? Did that mean he was awake for the experiments? How much had he suffered?

The cuffs had been a sticking point, calling into question what Zack’s mental state must be. The hospital had suggested barring visitors, or even tying him down to the bed in the event he reacted violently if he woke up. A rampaging 2nd Class SOLDIER could be devastating, let alone a prestigious 1st Class.

Cloud had objected quite strongly. This was Zack, the same man who had come out with his morals and honour and optimism intact after four long years of being a Shinra lab rat. Zack would never harm the innocent, no matter how far gone he was. It wasn’t in his nature.

Besides, it had been Zack who had broken them out in the first place, not Cloud. If Shinra knew that, it was likely that they simply didn’t want to repeat the incident.

In the end, the hospital trusted Cloud, and Zack was left as he was.

When not stewing in his questions, he was entertaining the steady trickle of visitors that Zack received. Unsurprisingly, it seemed that he had made many friends throughout his short life. Some people Cloud had a hazy recollection of from his cadet days, while others were a complete mystery to him. Notably, not all of them seemed to be from Shinra. Some were just ordinary people that Zack had touched in one way or another.

Even Yuffie had made an appearance, a fact that surprised Cloud. When pressed, she had just huffed something along the lines of: “He was a real pain in my neck!” He wasn’t sure what the hell that meant, but he did recall that Yuffie was from Wutai. Had Zack been there during the war? Or had they met somewhere else?

There had been another man who had come to visit too, his mako eyes giving away immediately that he was a SOLDIER. However, he had still offered Cloud a polite smile, a handshake, and an introduction: “Call me Kunsel.”

It was a name that dredged up hazy memories of a helmeted, easy going 2nd. A friend of Zack’s, a good friend. Cloud could understand why as Kunsel regaled him with story after story of Zack’s early SOLDIER days. It seemed like the two of them had caused quite a bit of chaos before Shinra started falling apart. Cloud did his best to commit each story to memory.

Kunsel was friendly enough, although Cloud could tell that he kept his guard raised. He was eager to shoot the breeze about Zack, all while smoothly minimizing his own part. It was so masterful, Cloud didn’t realize until later that he didn’t really know what kind of person Kunsel was.

Still, he had an energy to him that made you want to implicitly trust him, whether that was a wise decision or not. Any misgivings about the SOLDIER melted away as the conversation flowed.

He wondered how much of that had to do with the memories he had stolen from Zack.

Perhaps it was this feeling of trust that had loosened Cloud’s lips enough to let slip what Zack’s prognosis was. There had been a pregnant pause as Kunsel’s expression sobered into something unreadable, looking over at Zack’s bed. After a moment, he had stood from his chair, rested a hand on Zack’s arm, and simply said: “He’s a fighter. He’ll wake up.”

Cloud tried to hold on to Kunsel’s quiet conviction as the days dragged by. It was comforting to know that he wasn’t the only one still holding out hope.

“A lot of people care about you.” He mused aloud, looking over at Zack. Talking to him had been a habit he had fallen into around day 3, something to do when his thoughts got too loud and there were no visitors to distract him. He’d awkwardly fumble his way through conversation, making mundane observations, and listen to the silence that followed. Zack never responded, but that was okay.

Cloud felt silly, speaking to what may as well be a dead man. But then he would think back to his time on the run and the few blurry snatches of memories he had of it. If these memories could be trusted, then Zack had done the exact same thing. He had made it look so easy too, so natural, more so than his own halting attempts.

But that was just how Zack was. Even when cornered, he still oozed charisma as easily as he breathed.

With a sigh, Cloud glanced towards the large window towards the other end of the room. The sun would be setting soon, which meant that Tifa would be expecting him home. If he wanted to escape her wrath, he shouldn’t dawdle here any longer.

“I’ll be back tomorrow.” He said, pushing himself off of the chair and stretching out his muscles. He really shouldn’t sit in that uncomfortable chair for too long next time. He always woke up sore.

In his peripheral, Zack’s hand twitched.

Instantly, all trivial complaints of a sore back vanished from his mind as he zipped towards the bed. Never in all the time he had been here had Zack so much as moved a muscle. Had he really just seen what he thought he had seen? Or was it a trick of the light, a hallucination conjured from days of his hopeful mind waiting for some kind of sign?

A few moments later, Zack’s hand twitched again, and Cloud’s heart leapt into his throat. It had been real. He watched intently as Zack’s brows creased together, face slowly scrunching, fingers curling inwards just slightly.

Cloud wasn’t aware he was moving until his hand had found Zack’s.

He watched with bated breath as the impossible miracle unfolded before him. After five long days of waiting, wondering, hoping…

Zack’s eyes slowly slid open.

In that moment, the inane thought of I know those eyes struck him and Cloud let out a breath that could have been a laugh, could have been a sob. It was then that those eyes found Cloud and, Gaia, he could pinpoint the exact moment that recognition sparked in them.

“C… Cloud…” Zack’s voice was hoarse and cracked from who knows how many years of disuse, yet it was still the most wonderful thing Cloud had ever heard. It made the lump in his throat downright uncomfortable, especially as Zack’s lips quirked up into a shaky smile. “You’re really awake…”

“...Y-Yeah.” Cloud breathed, uncaring as his own voice cracked. He gave Zack’s hand a reassuring squeeze, marvelling as Zack weakly squeezed back. “You too.”

Zack’s smile stretched a little wider, his gaze sliding off of Cloud’s face to survey the room. Cloud decided to tactfully ignore the nebulous emotions arising from the notion that he came before checking his surroundings in Zack’s mind.

“We really made it to Midgar.” He finally spoke, apparently satisfying himself with where he was. His words instantly brought Cloud’s heady hope down to a crushing sense of realism.

He doesn’t know. There’s so much he doesn’t know.

How the hell was he supposed to explain everything that had gone on over the last few years?

Unperturbed by the yet identified elephant in the room, Zack continued. “Gods Cloud, you’re amazing. You… You saved me.” The quiet wonder in his voice clenched his heart, threatening to unearth the guilt he had already forgiven himself for.

“Zack…” Cloud started with a nervous swallow. He deserved to know. He deserved to know everything. “I-”

Before he could finish, a gasp and a clatter sounded from behind him. Cloud turned quickly to see a nurse standing in the doorway, hands over her mouth and clipboard laying abandoned on the floor. Once the shock ebbed, her eyes narrowed in their direction as she spoke with an accusatory tone. “He’s awake! Mr. Strife, you should have told us immediately!”

Cloud opened his mouth to protest - he just woke up, for Gaia’s sake! - but all he managed to emit was a lame sounding “um”. The nurse paid him no mind as she bustled over, checking over the various hospital machines and asking Zack several questions. Are you in pain? Are you experiencing any adverse symptoms?

Zack, though seemingly a little alarmed by the suddenness, answered her questions with more ease than Cloud would have expected. It looked like he was taking the situation in stride. Still, he couldn’t help but notice the worried looks Zack shot him throughout her probing. It was as if he was worried Cloud was about to disappear.

Eventually, the nurse seemed satisfied with his answers. Finalizing her notes, she clicked her pen and turned her attention on Cloud. “Now then, I need to go and get Dr. Marcus. Mr. Strife, please step outside.”

Zack and Cloud exchanged a look. The absolute last thing Cloud wanted to do was leave Zack alone with a doctor, especially considering where he had pulled him out from. It seemed Zack was in agreement, if that wary expression on his face said anything. Despite this, he plastered on a smile and shot Cloud a thumbs up. “Don’t worry about me. Rain check?”

Typical Zack, trying to put on a positive front in the face of adversity.

Before Cloud could argue, the nurse had shooed him out of the room and slammed the door in his face. He stared dumbly at the smooth white wood, mouth half open, processing what had just happened. Rudeness of the nurse aside…

Zack was alive. Zack was alive, awake, and aware. It was more than Cloud could ask for, let alone what he thought was possible.

As he stood alone in the hospital hallway, listening to the dull murmur of staff, visitors, and patients passing through, Cloud made a promise to himself. No matter what it took, how long it took, nor what obstacles he had to overcome, he was going to make sure that Zack stayed alive, awake, and aware.

Gaia had returned Zack to him, and nothing would take him away from Cloud again.

~-~

“I never got to tell him my real name.”

Tseng glanced up from the helicopter controls, looking at his copilot out of the corner of his eye. Cissnei, for her part, was not looking back at him. Her gaze had instead turned beyond the cockpit, fixated on the body bag laying across the passenger seats. The dying beams of sunlight illuminated the tear tracks on her cheeks.

Despite several Turks rebelling to try and spare Zack’s life, they had been outmaneuvered by mere infantrymen. It was rare for a Turk to fail, especially so miserably. On a technical level, it was an embarrassment, a would-be black mark on Tseng’s spotless record.

On a personal level, the grief was difficult to swallow.

Tseng thought back to the Ancient in the slums and the heartbroken letters sitting in a box on his desk. He wondered how long it would take for her to turn an accusatory eye on him, to blame him for Zack’s disappearance. He wondered how quickly he could compartmentalize this guilt and dismiss her queries. He wondered when she would give up.

“Tseng?” Cissnei’s voice breached his spiraling thoughts, bringing him back to the present. Her voice was small, reminiscent of her early days with the Turks. “...What’s going to happen to him now?”

It was a rhetorical question and both of them knew it. While they didn’t know the specifics of what was in store for him, it was obvious that he wouldn’t be buried with the dignity he deserved, and there was nothing either of them could do to change that. Not when Shinra was already expecting their prize to be delivered.

Tseng let the question go unanswered. There was no sense wasting breath on the unknown.

Now, several years later, it seemed that Cissnei’s question had been answered after all. Tseng stared long and hard at the now vacant mako tank that “Specimen Z” had been found in, letting the memory taper off in his mind.

Tseng vividly recalled looking down at Zack’s broken body on that fateful day. He remembered placing two fingers to a cool and clammy neck, looking for a pulse that never materialized. He knew that, without a doubt, Zack had been no more. He was a corpse, a cadaver, capital D dead. There was no coming back from that.

And yet…

Raising the dead should have been a success that Hojo crowed about to all who listened, yet this project had been labeled a failure and abandoned. Why? It had been bothering Tseng ever since he had drained the tank and let Zack’s body collapse into his arms, cool and clammy from the mako yet undoubtedly alive and breathing.

He had accumulated too many regrets for things he didn’t do in his life. He would be damned if he made the same mistake here.

It was time to get to the bottom of this.

[oftatteredwings]

[ leo woodall, cis man, he/him ] — spotted in the streets of brooklyn, it’s LEO DARBY. they have lived in the city for 8 YEARS, working as the CO-OWNER OF PAWS & POUR. the 30 year old will probably be seen around CARROLL GARDENS a lot, seeing as that’s where they live. people say they can be a bit ABSENT-MINDED and IMPULSIVE, but friends know them to be COMPASSIONATE and HONEST. you know for sure you’ve found them when you’ve come across CAT HAIR ON HIS SLEEVES, SCUFFED UP TIMBERLAND BOOTS, A STRONG CUP OF TEA CONSTANTLY IN HAND. welcome to brooklyn, it’s been waiting for you!

IN A NUTSHELL; yes that is cat hair on your sleeve, a strong cup of tea constantly in hand, scuffed-up timberland boots, the battle scars of a life lived with love, bedhead at any time of the day, a far-off look in your eyes, the worn pages of an old bible.

tw: child abandonment, bullying

Name: Leo Darby Nicknames: None Age: Thirty Date of birth: 1st January 1994 Birth place: London, UK Occupation: Owner of Paws & Pour Romantic/sexual orientation: Heteroromantic/bisexual

ABOUT.

Leo never knew his parents, not really. His father walked out the moment that he found out Leo’s mother was pregnant and she — well, she was deemed an unfit parent shortly before his second birthday. He has never been told the full details and still isn’t entirely sure he even wants to know.

Placed into the fostering system, he moved back and forth between families for the next seven years. It was always said that they’d find him a ‘forever home’ but for some reason it took time. It took so much time that it reached a point where he found himself convinced that nobody wanted him —- that he’d be bounced back and forth until he turned eighteen, when he was forced to go out into the world alone. For a child, it wasn’t the greatest start in life to have.

But he was resilient, and at nine, he was adopted by a young couple, who also happened to live in the town he had been born in. From that moment on, his life changed considerably. Finding himself in an extremely religious family, Michael following a calling to ministry, Leo found it almost impossible to stay bitter. From the moment the Darbys adopted him, he was loved unconditionally and always free to make his own decisions in life.

As the days went by, he chose to attend church services with his newly found parents, celebrating along with the rest of the family when his father was appointed as vicar at their local church.

A year or so after his adoption, they also adopted another child and for the first time in his life, he found himself with a sibling.

Before long the family moved from the small flat they had been living in and into a four-bed house, one that was much closer to the church. Leo was fourteen at the time and, unfortunately, his pride in his father wasn’t seen as cool in high school. Seen as only the vicar’s son, he was often thought of as somebody to corrupt, to drag down as far as possible. His teen years were the worst of his life, finding himself bullied daily, the other children in town intent on ruining the perfect life he’d built up over the last four years.

And so Leo became withdrawn, he began to only spend time with children much younger than him, knowing that they didn’t care where he came from. But, despite the aversion to how he was being brought up by other parties, he knew that he wanted to follow in a similar path to his father once he left school. Perhaps not ministry, nothing quite so serious, but just some way of helping out in the world. He would spend night after night in front of the computer researching, clicking through website after website until he found the answer. Missionary work seemed like the perfect solution and so, after finishing high school, he found himself a placement and travelled to Zambia.

Living and working in Africa certainly wasn’t something he’d thought he would do when he was a child, heart set on being a firefighter when he was five, but he couldn’t have asked for anything more rewarding than being able to help the children out there. Perhaps the job he had out there wasn’t as impressive as some might have thought, but for him, however, the fact he was doing anything to help was enough. He couldn’t have waited another three years to pick up a degree before travelling out there; he only knew he needed to help as soon as possible.

Following two placements, both around two years long, it was time to finally come home again. A decision partly spurred on by a breakup with someone he had met while out there. He hated that it was something so fickle that caused him to leave, but the pair couldn’t have gone on as they were. Living out of one another’s pockets when things were so awkward wasn’t something he could have lived with for more than a couple of months. He left abruptly, choosing to take six months out to travel around Africa, taking in the sights for the first time and even going on safari for a while.

After almost five years away, he knew that moving back home again would be difficult. He didn’t have many friends there anymore, nor a career to speak of, and aside from his parents and his siblings, it was going to be a little like starting over. So in the end, he chose not to go back, he'd caught the travel bug and that was how he ended up in New York City.

Starting over was something he was familiar with, but that didn't mean the move was easy. To begin with, in fact, he was bouncing back and forth between different apartments, working three jobs at a time, anything to keep himself afloat.

The combination of cats and coffee came around four years into his move, a labour of love brought about after spending countless hours at the local adoption centre. He knows Paws & Pour isn't exactly known for its coffee ( or wasn't in the early days, at least ), but he hopes the tea is at least up to scratch, as well as the opportunity to meet a new feline friend to take home one day. Rehoming has always been at the heart of the business.

After a year or so of the business being open he brought in a friend, Daehyun Nam, as co-owner, who deals with the coffee side of things a little more. It was never going to be Leo's forte, after all, he's a tea drinker.

In recent years he's been looking into his biological parents and made the discovery that his father had another family when he was born. He was never really destined to be in Leo's life. Along with the discovery was the realisation he had other siblings, something he's been wrestling with ever since, trying to decide how to move forward and whether to reach out or not.

HEADCANONS.

One of Leo's proudest moments was when he swam with sharks while out travelling around South Africa.

He owns four cats, all adopted from the local shelter, named Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D'Artagnan.

He loves to read and even has a used bookshelf at the back of the coffee shop for people to borrow and donate books.

[kayodekolade]

The Cure for The Common Life

Dear high performer,

Prepare to elevate your week with this energizing edition of Sunday Soar 🦅:

🙏 What I’m Grateful For,

📕 The Lesson I Learned Last Week,

👀 And What I’m Looking Forward To This Week.

⏩ If this resonates, don’t keep it to yourself—share it with someone who needs a boost!

---

🙏 What I’m Grateful For

"Some people, they don't want to shoot a penalty because they don't feel confident.

It's okay, I respect that.

But Cristiano never will do that.

Never.

Even if I miss. One time?

I will shoot the second time.

If I lose the second time, I will shoot the third time.

I'm not afraid."

— Cristiano Ronaldo on taking penalties.

Living an uncommon life isn’t reserved for the gifted, the famous, or the superstars.

It’s for anyone willing to take bold, fearless actions in the face of challenges.

Your circumstances don't define the uncommon life—

It’s the quality of your decisions.

So, what traits set apart those who live the uncommon life?

Click here to explore 👇

https://mailchi.mp/3e8fd9baa768/the-cure-for-the-common-life-embrace-your-uncommon-path

---

📕 Lesson I Learned Last Week

How you see yourself directly shapes what you can achieve.

"The people who know their God will be strong and do great exploits."

— Daniel, 6th century BCE

When you truly recognize your strength, rooted in something greater than yourself,

Extraordinary things happen.

To change your results,

You have to first change the way you see yourself.

In this week's video, learn how to transform your reality through...

The Power of Self-vision. Be Your Future Self Now

Watch now 👇

https://youtu.be/TCKnZKw1ZE8

---

👀 What I’m Looking Forward To

Next Sunday marks exactly 100 days until the end of 2024.

I want the remaining months to be your absolute best.

That’s why I urge you to join the Monthly Breakthrough Session on October 1st,

Where we’ll dive into Results Mastery—Blueprint for Extraordinary Success.

This session is free, but you must register to secure your spot.

Don’t miss out—this could be the game-changer for your year.

Register here 👇

https://bit.ly/breakthroughmonthly

---

Thank you for being part of this week’s Sunday Soar!

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts—leave me a comment.

Here’s to a week filled with bold actions and personal growth.

Much love to you and yours.

YOUR GREATNESS IS VERY SURE.

Your Coach,

Kayode

#dearhighperformer #curefortthecommonlife #powerofselfvision #beyourfutureselfnow

[echovilled]

— like a moth to a flame.

→ pairing: war x chaerin kim.

→ word count: 2,185

→ song: i listened to so many songs writing this but the most frequent one that got a lot of spins was definitely the boy is mine - ariana grande lol.

→ notes: stop letting me self indulge in 1-2 year old wips, im so serious rn !

Chaerin woke up with the expected feelings for her 18th birthday: a sense of excitement that felt both genuine and hollow. She loved birthdays and the idea of being celebrated, but the routine had become so predictable that she knew exactly how the day would transpire. She lay in bed for a few moments, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the feeling of something different to creep in, but nothing came. She blew out some air as she rolled her eyes and turned to the outstretched window that gave her the perfect view of the sun rising over Mount Namsan.

As it always did, the day would begin with a birthday message from her parents on Skype. It had become a tradition since they hadn't been home for the celebration for the last 7-8 years.

The routine was set in stone - she'd get up, have her birthday breakfast cooked by the penthouse staff, and then be presented with the exact cake every year: a chocolate buttercream golden cake with sprinkles. Later, a private birthday dinner would be held at Pierre Gagnaire à Séoul with a carefully curated group of friends to post their equally curated group photos on Instagram. It was the same predictable pattern every year with the necessary changes to fit her social media circle, followed by 364 routinely identical days until June 1st rolled around again.  

Chaerin groaned loudly, already feeling the weight of the day's familiarity ahead of her. Mentally, she felt as if she was placed behind a well-constructed fence designed to protect her but also shield her from the rest of the world. The security her parents had built around her began to feel suffocating, even if she understood its reasons. She was their rainbow baby- their only child after so much loss- and the weight of keeping her safe regardless of any situation lingered between them.

Their love for her was never in doubt, but that love had formed an environment where control and sheltering had become second nature. Their high-profile careers worsened things—her mother, a corporate executive of the successful skincare brand Misun Cosmetics, and her father, a private investor, were always away. They were busy managing their professional empires while ensuring she stayed safely inside the fortress they built for her.

She heard the familiar notification ding from her laptop as she finally got up and went to her desk. The Skype link shared by her father is ready to be clicked. She hesitated momentarily, her finger hovering over the mouse before clicking the link.

Chaerin sat at the kitchen table, eating her breakfast for the day. The chef had prepared a Moroccan-themed breakfast with a side of Miyeok-guk, which was something different that at least pleased her just a little bit.

She sat at the table and pondered what she could do for her birthday. The usual choices were shopping, which never failed to make her happy, sightseeing, crawling back into bed and streaming Netflix, or even catching a flight to Tokyo, which was only two hours away. But none of these options felt right, and she was getting frustrated.  

It only took minutes before she abruptly leaped from her seat and ran back to her room. Her heart pounded with the rush of excitement as the idea struck her. Today wasn't just any birthday - it was her eighteenth! She could finally act on something she had been toying with for weeks.  

To satisfy her need for something different, she's been third-wheeling it with one of her best friends, Nari, and her boyfriend, Junho, who was just weird and greasy, and his friends, who had been racing motorcycles in the shadowy streets of Gangseo District. She would say she was studying with Nari to get any deployed security off her back. Plus, she was getting older, so her parents did ease their eye off her for a bit (and a bit is being generous). It was their favorite pastime, and sometimes, she'd ride on the back of the bikes of some of Junho's friends, but that was it. It was fun for a while, but that's not what captured her interest. It was something - or someone - else entirely.  

Outside Nocturne, a club notorious for drawing in some of the city's most dangerous crowds, Chaerin had first seen him. Or rather, she had noticed his friend first. A hulking figure who was broad and intimidating, with a scar etched like lightning down the side of his face. His presence was enough to stop anyone in their tracks, and to be honest, she would both embrace and run from this man if she were alone with him in a dark alleyway.

But it wasn't until he shifted aside that Chaerin saw the person who caught her breath.  

The stranger who followed was tall and lean; his body cut with strength but moved with a quiet, deliberate grace. He wasn't cut from the same cloth as the boys she was used to hanging out with; he was something else entirely. He wore dark clothes - a black jacket, dark cargo pants, and heavy boots - that made him blend into the shadows. His sharp gaze gave him an aura of danger, which seemed to draw attention without him needing to say much of anything. Even though he couldn't have been older than Chaerin, he carried an air of experience that he had seen more of the world than she did.

She had watched him hanging around Nocturne for nearly a week, always at a distance. It was an unspoken game of cat and mouse, and she was sure he didn't notice her, but she made sure to see him. Whenever she was in the Gangseo District with Nari, she would always find him as if pulled by an invisible force.

But now, on her eighteenth birthday, she decided it was time to make her move. She wasn't someone to linger in the background anyway; she had to see who this man really was. Tonight, she would step into the shadows, hoping that this time, she would meet him and have the stranger for herself.

Chaerin didn't hesitate. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand and immediately called Nari. The phone barely rang before Nari picked up.  

"Rinnie! Happy Birthd-"  

"Nari, I've got an idea for tonight," Chaerin said, cutting her off as her voice buzzed excitedly. "After dinner, why don't you and your weird ass boyfriend come with me to Nocturne? We can have a little after-party celebration!"  

Nari paused for a moment, which caught Chaerin off guard. "First of all, he's not weird! And also Nocturne? I've never been there before, but I heard like a shootout happened a couple weeks ago..." she admitted, the slightest hint of hesitation creeping into her voice.  

Chaerin ignored this and laughed lightly at her friend's uncertainty. "If a shootout does happen, we'll just run for the back door, okay?"  

"Chaerin-"  

"Nari, come on. It's my 18th birthday, and we need to do something big! It's going to be super wild, and we'll be together, okay? Plus, Junho will be there, so it will be perfect." She said, and after a moment, Nari sighed, "Okay, you've convinced me. I'll talk to him, but count us in."  

Chaerin squeals, already anticipating the stranger and the night ahead. With the plan sealed, the night promises something unforgettable—what could go wrong?  

Later that night, Nari, Junho, and Chaerin arrive at Nocturne. At the entrance, the burly bodyguard scanned their IDs with a skeptical look, his eyes narrowing as he noticed they were all under 19. The legal age was previously changed about a year ago because a 16-year-old boy was murdered two blocks away from the club. The rule was set, and it looked like the bouncer wasn't going to bend for shit.  

Before Chaerin could protest, Junho stepped forward with a sly smile, pulling out his wallet and slipping a few bills into the guard's hand, which she rolled her eyes. "It's her birthday," he said, nodding toward Chaerin, who stood behind him.  

The bodyguard paused before pocketing the cash with a barely noticeable nod, and they were waved inside.  

Junho flashed a cheesy grin at Chaerin. "I'll have the bill on your door by tomorrow," he said as she flipped him the middle finger while Nari chuckled.  

As soon as they stepped inside, the music's thumping bass hit them like a wave. The flashing lights danced across the walls, turning everything into a blur of neon and moving shadows. The air was thick with excitement and the heavy scent of sweat, alcohol, and perfume.  

Chaerin, without hesitation, pulled Nari to the center of the dance floor, with Junho following them. The crowd was already swaying in sync with the loud music. While Nari and Junho started dancing together, Chaerin found a dance partner on her own. A tall guy with a confident smile caught her eye and stepped closer, his intentions extremely clear. She always welcomed the attention, and her movement began to match his. The guy leaned in, his voice barely audible over the noise. "You look real sexy out there." he flirted, flashing a playful grin.  

Chaerin smirked, her energy rising. "I know!" she shot back, laughing with a teasing edge.

The banter continued as they moved together, the flirtation adding to the thrill of the night. For a while, she completely forgot about the world outside of this. Every laugh, touch, and beat added to the rush she felt.  

But after a while, her movement began to slow. Something in the atmosphere had shifted, and it was changing the exhilaration that she had felt moments ago. She began to feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.  

Someone was watching her.  

She could feel it—a presence, eyes locked on her from somewhere in the crowded room. The once liberating feeling suddenly felt heavy, and her body tensed as she scanned the room, searching for the source. Her dance partner quickly noticed the shift in her mood, and his confusion was evident. It wasn't until she looked up and saw him that she realized it was him.  

Her eyes locked onto the mysterious stranger, standing by the railing in the VIP section, staring directly at her. His gaze was intense, penetrating, and unrelenting.

She had stopped dancing altogether, stumbling slightly from the shock and surprise. The realization had it her like some crushing wave. Did he notice her watching him this entire time? This whole fucking time?

As Chaerin stood frozen, trying to process the situation, she noticed another woman approach the stranger. The woman touched his chest, leaning in to whisper something in his ear. Chaerin stiffened, an unexpected jealously tightening in her chest for someone she didn't know. But the feeling would quickly shift when the stranger dismissed the woman with a wave, sending her back to the VIP section without a second thought.  

His gaze briefly returned to Chaerin before disappearing back into the shadows, leaving her standing there with her heart racing and her mind spinning.

She didn't even know what to make of it. He physically said absolutely nothing but said so much with one look. Was he sending her a message that he knows that she's been practically stalking him? Was he daring her to come meet him? Did he care whether she picked option A or B? It felt like a game of chess, a game that she had never bothered to play, yet she was maneuvering through it without a single clue.  

Suddenly, she became aware that her dance partner had left her alone. A quick glance revealed that Nari and Junho had found their way to a dimly lit table, making themselves incredibly cozy in each other's company.  

Chaerin's gaze shifted back toward the VIP section, her eyes darting to the elegant curve of the staircase leading up to it. The familiar flame that she felt in her belly the night she saw him for the first time was spreading fast, and it pushed her to quickly make her way to the staircase before she could second-guess herself.  

Just as she approached the VIP section, the man she had noticed before - the one with the lightning strike scar across his face - stepped in front of her and blocked her path. She was beginning to become tired of all of these fucking rules and regulations. She felt like this was more like a prison than a club. Why is nobody letting her do what she wants?  

Before she could start complaining, a voice cut through the club's noise.  

"Let her through."  

The bouncer glanced back at the source of the command, gave a nonchalant shrug, and stepped aside. Chaerin's heart raced as she barely shoved the bouncer out of the way and made her way through the velvet rope. Without hesitation, she even edged between the stranger and the girl from earlier casually seated next to him.  

She would have no idea this bold, instinctual, and unplanned move would change her life forever.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Writing Report May 31, 2024

I’m writing this two weeks out, so who knows what may change between now and then?

. . .

My goal is to write two book length manuscripts a year, starting one each January 1st, the other each July 1st.

It normally takes me anywhere from 2 ½ to 3 1/3 months to write each novel, which typically clock in between 85K and 124K.

I finished my 24 01 novel about a month ago as you read this and it ended up being 124K+.  Currently I’m sharing it a few chapters at a time with my local writers group, so I am trimming it back based on feedback and what I see as padding.

However, I’m not doing a full bore second draft edit yet.  I prefer to let my first drafts lay fallow for at least six months so I can approach them with fresh eyes for the second draft.

My 23 07 novel is starting its second draft phase.  It ran up to 86K+ when I finished it last year.

I edit / do my second draft by first printing the novel out then going over it with a red pen (PaperMate Flair, my favorite writing instrument) looking for errors, redundancies, over-explaining, and repetitive scenes and dialog.  That took about three days.

Then I start making the changes I marked on paper on the digital second draft. 

Pro tip: Edit your your second draft by starting at the end of the first draft and make changes going forward.

There are a couple of reasons for this:

You’re more likely to spot spelling / punctuation / grammatical errors by going backwards through the text.

All changes you make are in the latter part of the book, meaning if you need to find something earlier on a specific page, the numbering on that part hasn’t changed yet.

Right now I’m roughly halfway through the 23 07 manuscript and have shaved about two thousand words off. [Added later:  Finished editing, shaved 6K+ off]

Good.

Ideally I’d like to pare it down to under 80K.

. . .

While editing the 23 07 manuscript I noticed I tended to have fewer edits in the second half of the book than in the first.

That’s because in the first half I’m still discovering who the characters are, what the story is.

I have a fairly good idea of my plot, but not more than could fit on three pages.

I have ideas for scenes and incidents, but I wait until the book tells me it’s time to put them in.

While I’ve cut two thousand words out of the second half, mostly that’s been single words and short phrases.

The more I write, the more certain I become of the story, the more focused my writing becomes.

At the midway point (where I just broke off tonight before writing this) I’m whacking out sentences / paragraphs / scenes.

I know there will be a lot more major cuts in the first half, including an entire chapter that got Xed out in red.

As noted before, it’s bee observed one needs to write a novel three times:

First to tell yourself the story.

Then to figure out what the story is about.

Finally to tell the story to the reader.

These are not necessarily three distinct separate steps, of course.  Often what the story is really about presents itself to me midway through the first draft.

But I do tend to write three drafts of my longer works, usually incorporating feedback from beta readers or my writers group.

. . .

While doing this, I’m also taking notes on what may be my 24 07 project, a historical novel set in the early part of the 20th century.

It’s an idea I came up with w-a-a-a-y back in the 1980s, but it’s been sitting in the back of my mental refrigerator until now.

My original idea had only four characters:

The main male protagonist (I hate the term “hero”)

The main antagonist (I hate the term “villain”)

The female protagonist

The comic relief

At some point in the 1990s or early 2000s a fifth character was added to the mix, starting out as a minor antagonist but soon joining the protagonists as an ally.

The project became briefly subsumed by another, far larger project I envisions, but eventually abandoned when I saw it becoming too gimmicky and unwieldly.

So now the 24 07 project is back as a standalone.

Sometime after 2010 I started looking at the project through the lens of what actually was going on in the world at the time the novel takes place.

I saw subcurrents I never considered back in the 1980s.  Those subcurrents add to the depth and complexity of the story, broadening it and its cast of characters significantly.

Looks like this is going to be another one of my multi-character epics.

Good.

The extra characters represent people who need to have their stories told.

Two soon-to-be major characters are shady businessmen -- not really crooked, not really sleazy, just…shady -- who start as rivals but find themselves forced to cooperate while still not trusting their new partner and trying to cheat them.

I knew somebody like them would need to be in the story when I first thought of it forty some years ago because my main antagonist would have a specific business-related reason to oppose them.

But as I started noodling story ideas around, I realize these two bozologists needed to do something to actually hurt the antagonist -- not physically, but emotionally.

Now the antagonist harbors a personal vendetta above and beyond his purely business reasons for going after them.

Nice.

What happens after that?

Haven’t the faintest idea at the time of this writing.

I’ve got a couple of vague ideas how to end the story, but getting to those endings is murky right now.

So says Magic 8 Ball.

But I know it will start to shape up.  By the time July 1, 2024 rolls around, I’ll have a pretty good idea what the story is.

It will still surprise me and go in unanticipated directions, but that’s all part of the fun.

. . .

One thing I do know is that my cast has grown exponentially.

I’ve got a dozen characters right now, and I know there will be more.

They’ll come from all sorts of backgrounds.

Different ethnicities / social classes / occupations.

Each with their own distinct patois.

You know what that means, don’t you?

Research!

I’m digging up slang expressions from all sorts of background of the era, and it’s a delight.

Not only have some prompted more story incidents, but a lot of it sounds extremely colorful and funny to this day.

I’m researching far more than I will actually use, but that’s par for the course.

But it is fun.

  © Buzz Dixon