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mostlysignssomeportents · 3 months ago

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Retiring the US debt would retire the US dollar

THIS WEDNESDAY (October 23) at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, GEORGIA, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

One of the most consequential series of investigative journalism of this decade was the Propublica series that Jesse Eisinger helmed, in which Eisinger and colleagues analyzed a trove of leaked IRS tax returns for the richest people in America:

https://www.propublica.org/series/the-secret-irs-files

The Secret IRS Files revealed the fact that many of America's oligarchs pay no tax at all. Some of them even get subsidies intended for poor families, like Jeff Bezos, whose tax affairs are so scammy that he was able to claim to be among the working poor and receive a federal Child Tax Credit, a $4,000 gift from the American public to one of the richest men who ever lived:

https://www.propublica.org/article/the-secret-irs-files-trove-of-never-before-seen-records-reveal-how-the-wealthiest-avoid-income-tax

As important as the numbers revealed by the Secret IRS Files were, I found the explanations even more interesting. The 99.9999% of us who never make contact with the secretive elite wealth management and tax cheating industry know, in the abstract, that there's something scammy going on in those esoteric cults of wealth accumulation, but we're pretty vague on the details. When I pondered the "tax loopholes" that the rich were exploiting, I pictured, you know, long lists of equations salted with Greek symbols, completely beyond my ken.

But when Propublica's series laid these secret tactics out, I learned that they were incredibly stupid ruses, tricks so thin that the only way they could possibly fool the IRS is if the IRS just didn't give a shit (and they truly didn't – after decades of cuts and attacks, the IRS was far more likely to audit a family earning less than $30k/year than a billionaire).

This has become a somewhat familiar experience. If you read the Panama Papers, the Paradise Papers, Luxleaks, Swissleaks, or any of the other spectacular leaks from the oligarch-industrial complex, you'll have seen the same thing: the rich employ the most tissue-thin ruses, and the tax authorities gobble them up. It's like the tax collectors don't want to fight with these ultrawealthy monsters whose net worth is larger than most nations, and merely require some excuse to allow them to cheat, anything they can scribble in the box explaining why they are worth billions and paying little, or nothing, or even entitled to free public money from programs intended to lift hungry children out of poverty.

It was this experience that fueled my interest in forensic accounting, which led to my bestselling techno-crime-thriller series starring the two-fisted, scambusting forensic accountant Martin Hench, who made his debut in 2022's Red Team Blues:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865847/red-team-blues

The double outrage of finding out how badly the powerful are ripping off the rest of us, and how stupid and transparent their accounting tricks are, is at the center of Chokepoint Capitalism, the book about how tech and entertainment companies steal from creative workers (and how to stop them) that Rebecca Giblin and I co-authored, which also came out in 2022:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

Now that I've written four novels and a nonfiction book about finance scams, I think I can safely call myself a oligarch ripoff hobbyist. I find this stuff endlessly fascinating, enraging, and, most importantly, energizing. So naturally, when PJ Vogt devoted two episodes of his excellent Search Engine podcast to the subject last week, I gobbled them up:

https://www.searchengine.show/listen/search-engine-1/why-is-it-so-hard-to-tax-billionaires-part-1

I love the way Vogt unpacks complex subjects. Maybe you've had the experience of following a commentator and admiring their knowledge of subjects you're unfamiliar with, only have them cover something you're an expert in and find them making a bunch of errors (this is basically the experience of using an LLM, which can give you authoritative seeming answers when the subject is one you're unfamiliar with, but which reveals itself to be a Bullshit Machine as soon as you ask it about something whose lore you know backwards and forwards).

Well, Vogt has covered many subjects that I am an expert in, and I had the opposite experience, finding that even when he covers my own specialist topics, I still learn something. I don't always agree with him, but always find those disagreements productive in that they make me clarify my own interests. (Full disclosure: I was one of Vogt's experts on his previous podcast, Reply All, talking about the inkjet printerization of everything:)

https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all/brho54

Vogt's series on taxing billionaires was no exception. His interview subjects (including Eisinger) were very good, and he got into a lot of great detail on the leaker himself, Charles Littlejohn, who plead guilty and was sentenced to five years:

https://jacobin.com/2023/10/charles-littlejohn-irs-whistleblower-pro-publica-tax-evasion-prosecution

Vogt also delved into the history of the federal income tax, how it was sold to the American public, and a rather hilarious story of Republican Congressional gamesmanship that backfired spectacularly. I'd never encountered this stuff before and boy was it interesting.

But then Vogt got into the nature of taxation, and its relationship to the federal debt, another subject I've written about extensively, and that's where one of those productive disagreements emerged. Yesterday, I set out to write him a brief note unpacking this objection and ended up writing a giant essay (sorry, PJ!), and this morning I found myself still thinking about it. So I thought, why not clean up the email a little and publish it here?

As much as I enjoyed these episodes, I took serious exception to one – fairly important! – aspect of your analysis: the relationship of taxes to the national debt.

There's two ways of approaching this question, which I think of as akin to classical vs quantum physics. In the orthodox, classical telling, the government taxes us to pay for programs. This is crudely true at 10,000 feet and as a rule of thumb, it's fine in many cases. But on the ground – at the quantum level, in this analogy – the opposite is actually going on.

There is only one source of US dollars: the US Treasury (you can try and make your own dollars, but they'll put you in prison for a long-ass time if they catch you.).

If dollars can only originate with the US government, then it follows that:

a) The US government doesn't need our taxes to get US dollars (for the same reason Apple doesn't need us to redeem our iTunes cards to get more iTunes gift codes);

b) All the dollars in circulation start with spending by the US government (taxes can't be paid until dollars are first spent by their issuer, the US government); and

c) That spending must happen before anyone has been taxed, because the way dollars enter circulation is through spending.

You've probably heard people say, "Government spending isn't like household spending." That is obviously true: households are currency users while governments are currency issuers.

But the implications of this are very interesting.

First, the total dollars in circulation are:

a) All the dollars the government has ever spent into existence funding programs, transferring to the states, and paying its own employees, minus

b) All the dollars that the government has taxed away from us, and subsequently annihilated.

(Because governments spend money into existence and tax money out of existence.)

The net of dollars the government spends in a given year minus the dollars the government taxes out of existence that year is called "the national deficit." The total of all those national deficits is called "the national debt." All the dollars in circulation today are the result of this national debt. If the US government didn't have a debt, there would be no dollars in circulation.

The only way to eliminate the national debt is to tax every dollar in circulation out of existence. Because the national debt is "all the dollars the government has ever spent," minus "all the dollars the government has ever taxed." In accounting terms, "The US deficit is the public's credit."

When billionaires like Warren Buffet tell Jesse Eisinger that he doesn't pay tax because "he thinks his money is better spent on charitable works rather than contributing to an insignificant reduction of the deficit," he is, at best, technically wrong about why we tax, and at worst, he's telling a self-serving lie. The US government doesn't need to eliminate its debt. Doing so would be catastrophic. "Retiring the US debt" is the same thing as "retiring the US dollar."

So if the USG isn't taxing to retire its debts, why does it tax? Because when the USG – or any other currency issuer – creates a token, that token is, on its face, useless. If I offered to sell you some "Corycoins," you would quite rightly say that Corycoins have no value and thus you don't need any of them.

For a token to be liquid – for it to be redeemable for valuable things, like labor, goods and services – there needs to be something that someone desires that can be purchased with that token. Remember when Disney issued "Disney dollars" that you could only spend at Disney theme parks? They traded more or less at face value, even outside of Disney parks, because everyone knew someone who was planning a Disney vacation and could make use of those Disney tokens.

But if you go down to a local carny and play skeeball and win a fistful of tickets, you'll find it hard to trade those with anyone outside of the skeeball counter, especially once you leave the carny. There's two reasons for this:

1) The things you can get at the skeeball counter are pretty crappy so most people don't desire them; and ' 2) Most people aren't planning on visiting the carny, so there's no way for them to redeem the skeeball tickets even if they want the stuff behind the counter (this is also why it's hard to sell your Iranian rials if you bring them back to the US – there's not much you can buy in Iran, and even someone you wanted to buy something there, it's really hard for US citizens to get to Iran).

But when a sovereign currency issuer – one with the power of the law behind it – demands a tax denominated in its own currency, they create demand for that token. Everyone desires USD because almost everyone in the USA has to pay taxes in USD to the government every year, or they will go to prison. That fact is why there is such a liquid market for USD. Far more people want USD to pay their taxes than will ever want Disney dollars to spend on Dole Whips, and even if you are hoping to buy a Dole Whip in Fantasyland, that desire is far less important to you than your desire not to go to prison for dodging your taxes.

Even if you're not paying taxes, you know someone who is. The underlying liquidity of the USD is inextricably tied to taxation, and that's the first reason we tax. By issuing a token – the USD – and then laying on a tax that can only be paid in that token (you cannot pay federal income tax in anything except USD – not crypto, not euros, not rials – only USD), the US government creates demand for that token.

And because the US government is the only source of dollars, the US government can purchase anything that is within its sovereign territory. Anything denominated in US dollars is available to the US government: the labor of every US-residing person, the land and resources in US territory, and the goods produced within the US borders. The US doesn't need to tax us to buy these things (remember, it makes new money by typing numbers into a spreadsheet at the Federal Reserve). But it does tax us, and if the taxes it levies don't equal the spending it's making, it also sells us T-bills to make up the shortfall.

So the US government kinda acts like classical physics is true, that is, like it is a household and thus a currency user, and not a currency issuer. If it spends more than it taxes, it "borrows" (issues T-bills) to make up the difference. Why does it do this? To fight inflation.

The US government has no monetary constraints, it can make as many dollars as it cares to (by typing numbers into a spreadsheet). But the US government is fiscally constrained, because it can only buy things that are denominated in US dollars (this is why it's such a big deal that global oil is priced in USD – it means the US government can buy oil from anywhere, not only the USA, just by typing numbers into a spreadsheet).

The supply of dollars is infinite, but the supply of labor and goods denominated in US dollars is finite, and, what's more, the people inside the USA expect to use that labor and goods for their own needs. If the US government issues so many dollars that it can outbid every private construction company for the labor of electricians, bricklayers, crane drivers, etc, and puts them all to work building federal buildings, there will be no private construction.

Indeed, every time the US government bids against the private sector for anything – labor, resources, land, finished goods – the price of that thing goes up. That's one way to get inflation (and it's why inflation hawks are so horny for slashing government spending – to get government bidders out of the auction for goods, services and labor).

But while the supply of goods for sale in US dollars is finite, it's not fixed. If the US government takes away some of the private sector's productive capacity in order to build interstates, train skilled professionals, treat sick people so they can go to work (or at least not burden their working-age relations), etc, then the supply of goods and services denominated in USD goes up, and that makes more fiscal space, meaning the government and the private sector can both consume more of those goods and services and still not bid against one another, thus creating no inflationary pressure.

Thus, taxes create liquidity for US dollars, but they do something else that's really important: they reduce the spending power of the private sector. If the US only ever spent money into existence and never taxed it out of existence, that would create incredible inflation, because the supply of dollars would go up and up and up, while the supply of goods and services you could buy with dollars would grow much more slowly, because the US government wouldn't have the looming threat of taxes with which to coerce us into doing the work to build highways, care for the sick, or teach people how to be doctors, engineers, etc.

Taxes coercively reduce the purchasing power of the private sector (they're a stick). T-bills do the same thing, but voluntarily (they the carrot).

A T-bill is a bargain offered by the US government: "Voluntarily park your money instead of spending it. That will create fiscal space for us to buy things without bidding against you, because it removes your money from circulation temporarily. That means we, the US government, can buy more stuff and use it to increase the amount of goods and services you can buy with your money when the bond matures, while keeping the supply of dollars and the supply of dollar-denominated stuff in rough equilibrium."

So a bond isn't a debt – it's more like a savings account. When you move money from your checking to your savings, you reduce its liquidity, meaning the bank can treat it as a reserve without worrying quite so much about you spending it. In exchange, the bank gives you some interest, as a carrot.

I know, I know, this is a big-ass wall of text. Congrats if you made it this far! But here's the upshot. We should tax billionaires, because it will reduce their economic power and thus their political power.

But we absolutely don't need to tax billionaires to have nice things. For example: the US government could hire every single unemployed person without creating inflationary pressure on wages, because inflation only happens when the US government tries to buy something that the private sector is also trying to buy, bidding up the price. To be "unemployed" is to have labor that the private sector isn't trying to buy. They're synonyms. By definition, the feds could put every unemployed person to work (say, training one another to be teachers, construction workers, etc – and then going out and taking care of the sick, addressing the housing crisis, etc etc) without buying any labor that the private sector is also trying to buy.

What's even more true than this is that our taxes are not going to reduce the national debt. That guest you had who said, "Even if we tax billionaires, we will never pay off the national debt,"" was 100% right, because the national debt equals all the money in circulation.

Which is why that guest was also very, very wrong when she said, "We will have to tax normal people too in order to pay off the debt." We don't have to pay off the debt. We shouldn't pay off the debt. We can't pay off the debt. Paying off the debt is another way of saying "eliminating the dollar."

Taxation isn't a way for the government to pay for things. Taxation is a way to create demand for US dollars, to convince people to sell goods and services to the US government, and to constrain private sector spending, which creates fiscal space for the US government to buy goods and services without bidding up their prices.

And in a "classical physics" sense, all of the preceding is kinda a way of saying, "Taxes pay for government spending." As a rough approximation, you can think of taxes like this and generally not get into trouble.

But when you start to make policy – when you contemplate when, whether, and how much to tax billionaires – you leave behind the crude, high-level approximation and descend into the nitty-gritty world of things as they are, and you need to jettison the convenience of the easy-to-grasp approximation.

If you're interested in learning more about this, you can tune into this TED Talk by Stephanie Kelton, formerly formerly advisor to the Senate Budget Committee chair, now back teaching and researching econ at University of Missouri at Kansas City:

https://www.ted.com/talks/stephanie_kelton_the_big_myth_of_government_deficits?subtitle=en

Stephanie has written a great book about this, The Deficit Myth:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/14/everybody-poops/#deficit-myth

There's a really good feature length doc about it too, called "Finding the Money":

https://findingmoneyfilm.com/

If you'd like to read more of my own work on this, here's a column I wrote about the nature of currency in light of Web3, crypto, etc:

https://locusmag.com/2022/09/cory-doctorow-moneylike/

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/21/we-can-have-nice-things/#public-funds-not-taxpayer-dollars

#pluralistic #mmt #modern monetary theory #warren buffett #podcasts #pj vogt #billionaires #economics #we can have nice things #taxes #taxing billionaires #the irs files #irs files #jesse eisenger #propublica

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worldofwardcraft · 2 years ago

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Finding safety in numbers.

June 1, 2023

After years of obsequious kowtowing to every one of Donald Trump's whims, leading Republicans seem to have finally figured out how to deal with the Party's bully in chief. Which is simply to band together and ignore him. Trump's method has always been to pick out one critic to insult, attack and accuse of being a "RINO" with the aim being to terrify the others. In the past this approach has worked to suppress opposition and has allowed him to drive from the GOP ranks such antagonists as Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger.

But as Republicans have (ever so gradually) come to recognize that the one-term, twice-impeached loser ex-president is an impediment to the Party's future electoral success, Trump's edicts may no longer have the effect they once had. Two recent incidents appear to suggest this.

In Texas, Republicans in the state legislature finally decided to impeach corrupt attorney general and staunch Trump ally Ken Paxton. Naturally, Trump was livid at the prospect.

Hopefully Republicans in the Texas House will agree that this is a very unfair process that should not be allowed to happen or proceed — I will fight you if it does.

Despite this threat, Paxton, who for the past eight years has been under indictment for felony securities fraud, was suspended from office following a vote on no less than 20 articles of impeachment ranging from bribery to abuse of public trust.

That same day, House Republicans cut a bipartisan, yet overwhelmingly Biden-friendly deal to raise the debt limit. This was clearly over Trump's previous objections as voiced during CNN's "town hall" interview: "I say to the Republicans out there — congressmen, senators — if they don’t give you massive cuts, you’re going to have to do a default."

Just the other day, he reiterated that Republicans “should not make a deal on the debt ceiling unless they get everything they want.” But as The Hill reported, Senate Republicans dismissed Trump’s incitement to default as something far too risky to seriously consider. Observed Texas senator John Cornyn, “Nobody thinks default is a good idea. Nobody.” And, sure enough, yesterday a majority of House Republicans ignored Trump's mush-brained advice by voting to raise the debt ceiling and not default on America’s obligations.

It's entirely possible these are merely situational disagreements with the Dear Leader and that GOPers will afterwards return to their habitual subservience. On the other hand, it might be evidence of Republicans belatedly realizing that to resist their orange albatross, they must all hang together. Or else hang separately at the ballot box come November.

#trump bullshit #ken paxton #debt ceiling

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6xillaa · 6 months ago

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Ken sato x !reporter reader

oh, how he wishes you saw him as a man and not a boy.

cw for everything below: age difference (its used for the plot), suggestive (depending on who you ask)

thinking about kenji trying to impress reader in his games. the reader who is older, more mature and composed than him. who always comments on his arrogance in their articles or interviews. honestly, you were his harshest critic! it was your nickname amongst your co-workers as well. everyone knew you held hatred for him, and so did he. you frequently commented on his age and how it isn't smart to put so much faith into such a young and ignorant man and call him a living legend. "he isn't mature enough!" you always stated.

he hated that. his age doesn't make him better or worse than anyone else; he was just better because he was ken sato. but that didn't stop him from trying to act older, at least around you. because it was for you.

he's still so desperate to impress you. he'd do cooler moves in games, smile at the camera more in interviews, and, even though it seemed impossible, he became more prideful. but he couldn't help it! feeling your intense gaze on him as he walked onto the field or got into a stance, it was invigorating.

he especially got a rise out of seeing you roll your eyes, slumping back in your seat, crossing one leg over the other once you realized there was nothing for you to comment on his performance. it was perfect. so perfect that it would (sometimes, if he was lucky) get a small, ever so slight, smile from your lips. even better if he saw you nod your head in approval. so after one of (arguably) his best perfomances yet, one he spent weeks practicing just for his pretty little critic, he walks up to you, ready to soak in all the praise he believed he deserved.

"so... how was that y/n?" he teased, slamming himself into your personal space. it's his favorite place! if you thought it belonged to you, it was also his. "leave me alone, sato." you grumble, not wanting to admit your defeat to him. "it was good, wasn't it? right? righttt?" you push him away and begin walking away, eyes looking straight forward to avoid his gaze.

"oh c'mon, am i really that bad you can't even compliment me?" he pouted playfully, poking your oh so soft cheek, giving it a slight pinch. "fine, sato! you're a good player. you impressed me today, enough for me to even say im... proud of you." if you were to sneeze each time kenji's heart began to race, it'd look like you're having a seizure because of how fast it was.

"then why dont you show me how proud you are of me," this made you halt, snapping your head towards him. "how?" you asked, eyes focused on his lips that quirked up into a grin. "take me out to dinner. tommorow night. let me pick, and i'll consider the debt you owe me paid off." he smiled, taking a step back, allowing you to breathe again. when did you stop? "i'm not indebted to you anyway?" you retort, pushing him back even more to feel like you had the upper hand here. "yes, you are! all the times you've doubted my abilities! am i not worthy of getting an apology? a gift?" he said dramatically, placing his hand on his chest.

you sputter nothing in disbelief, until something clocks inside of your little brain. "are you asking me on a date, sato?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest, a shit eating grin on your face. he leans down to your level, which is when you register how much taller he was than you, and tilts his head to the side. "and if i am?" kenji's voice goes quieter. "you're not my type." you mock, mimicking his tone. "i like them older." to this, he laughs. "you like grandpa's y/n? you like them near their deathbed?" he joked, trying (and failing) to hide his laughter. "yeah, atleast they're gentlemen, unlike you."

"i may not be the most gentlemanly person on earth, but i am a gentle man in everything else."

oh! oh. now you were entering dangerous territory. not for him, for you. it was so clear what he was setting up as a trap, and yet, despite all the warning signs there was, opened your plump little lips and asked with the purest face ever (even though your thoughts were the complete opposite) "how can i know if youre lying or not?"

and kenji, oh the annoying ken sato who you would never admit admired, not even on your deathbed, stepped closer to you, leaned down near your ear, and said in the loudest voice, loud enough so that you cant mishear him, and quiet enough that no one else can, says

"why dont i show you?"

if your composure was a ship, it would be near the ocean floor, the reason for sinkage; ken sato. right when your last functioning braincell is able to deliver a quip before total failure, someone calls kenji over. "you have a interview remember?" it yelled. "coming!" he smiled sweetly, kissing your cheek ever so softly.

the immature baseball player might not be as immature as you thought...

(thanks for the support on the last one, so i thought i'd write another one because im desperate for this man, like he's desperate for the reader, lowk. also i didnt fully proofread itmso sorry if skme names r missing colors and whatnot)

#kenji sato #ken sato #ultraman #ultraman rising #ultraman ken sato #ken sato x reader #x reader #smut #gender neutral y/n #ken sato smut #kenji sato smut

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eowynstwin · 22 days ago

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I actually can't stop thinking about your writing on AC 141, it lowkey got me playing again. When I got back on New Horizions, I found out that I had 300,000 bells in debt give or take 50,000 or so from an expansion on my house. Also I just got the Abel sisters' shop so I can finally get pretty clothes, yippie!

Enough about me, Nikolai is the pilot that flies reader to other islands, while Laswell is the one that mans the desk at the airport, only because she has other jobs and a wife. Blathers is the same because I love him like a cherished family friend.

I imagine that the boys were initially alarmed when reader started catching and holding all of these sharp and/or venomous animals with her bare ass hands. While they've learned that reader never really gets hurt doing this, it's still a little scary to see her running around at all hours of the night and day catching creatures to either give to the Museum or sell.

At least reader gives them very thoughtful and genuinely nice gifts, many of them handmade.

Anyways, those are my thoughts that have been plaguing me, and you can have them.

Gaz wakes early to a beautiful morning on the island. The sky is a rich, vibrant blue, playing host today to towering formations of pastel clouds, and the temperature is just low enough to suggest that the heat won’t rise unbearably throughout the day.

Gaz brings his coffee outside with him to sit on his front lawn and admire the day ahead of him. The human had gifted him a lovely wood swing recently, which he finds ideal for days just like this, where he can sip something warm and enjoy the breeze, and the sun on his face, and the scent of the garden springing up around his house that the human is cultivating for crossbreeding purposes.

Out of everyone on the island, you seem to prefer him at the moment—Price tracks your activities, whose houses you spend the most time on, who receives gifts the most often. It had been him in the beginning, and Gaz had initially worried that the old lion might be jealous, but Price had only smiled at the notion when the wolf brought it up and pointed out that he had been the only animal there, after all.

So Gaz is free to enjoy your attentions unimpeded by guilt. He’s watching the butterflies flit idly among the heavy spring blooms, inhaling the steam of his coffee, when he hears a low hum somewhere northwards. Maybe Nik jetting off along the archipelago, on his way to pick up another islander.

Then, Soap comes galloping up, running at a breakneck pace, and Gaz hardly has any time to relax before he yanks open the front door of his house.

“Bees got the human,” the horse throws over his shoulder briefly before barging inside.

“What?” Gaz demands.

Soap emerges again, a bag of medicine between his teeth. “Bees got the human,” he repeats, and sprints in the direction of the humming.

Gaz sets down his drink and runs after him. Sure enough, in the copse of trees on the north side of the island, they find the human, sitting on the ground beside an abandoned hive, one eye swollen closed and looking very sorry for yourself.

“Shaking trees again, are you?” Soap says cheerfully, hiding his concern away so as to keep you calm.

The poor thing nods, tears flowing from your one good eye. “Sometimes money falls out,” you say.

“Got to be faster with that net, ken?” the horse says gently, getting to his knees and opening the bag.

As Soap applies the medicine and does his best to calm you down, Gaz makes a mental note to talk to Price about the goodies he hides to keep you entertained. It’s important, of course, that you always have something to do, Gaz agrees with that, but maybe they should mitigate the risk of bodily injury.

Even if only so the rest of them don’t have a collective heart attack when you get stung by something nasty again, if for no other reason.

#answered #I’m having fun with these little warm ups #141 shenanigans #acnh 141 #kind of want to play the game again #madi writes #ac 141

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airandangels · 1 year ago

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it's a bit like Queen's guitarist Brian May being an astrophysicist who's contributed to NASA projects

some people have two famous people's worth of talent and energy

Is no one going to be not normal with me about the fact that this guy:

YES. THIS MAN:

WROTE THESE?!

OR DO I HAVE TO BE NOT NORMAL ABOUT IT ALL BY MYSELF?!?!!?

#...well the top two are variant covers of the same book (note the same blurb from Bill Bryson appears)#and he wrote the foreword for the third that's all #like not to be a jerk about it but he just wrote one (well received) book about Erebus #don't know if that helps with your normality levels #michael palin #monty python #historical terror #erebus #brian may also campaigns to save foxes and badgers from hunting/culling #michael palin co-founded a centre for stammering children #(his dad had a stammer and also he felt like he needed to clear a karmic debt for playing Ken in A Fish Called Wanda)

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darkdevasofdestruction · 5 months ago

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Your Guardian Angel - Tokita Ohma Love Story ( Kengan Ashura ) ~ On Going

Summary:

Once, a great a fighter, yet unknown to the world, fell prey to his first defeat, and he lay on the ground, pitiful and broken, rained down and with ribbons of crimson leaving his body. A shy angel coming home found him and brought him to safety, mending his wounds and tending to his broken spirit, until he had regained consciousness. As he opened his eyes, and witnessed the first person to care for him, he made a vow to always protect her, with his fists, to repay her kindness. It was only then that Tokita Ohma's newfound hope was discovered, and he was ready to achieve his goal in life - To be the very best fighter there is.

Chapter 1 - The Healing Angel Chapter 2 - Debt Chapter 3 - Promise Of Reunion Chapter 4 - The Ashura and The Kitsune Chapter 5 - The Forbidden Technique Chapter 6 - Replacement Chapter 7 - I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES! Chapter 8 - The Betrayal Chapter 9 - Let The Show Begin! Chapter 10 - Strengthening Friendship Bonds Chapter 11 - Am I Wrong? Chapter 12 - Foxes Have Fangs And Rabies Chapter 13 - New Rules, New Moves Chapter 14 - Battle Of The Psychos Chapter 15 - Distress Chapter 16 - Unlikely Best Friend Chapter 17 - The Kitsune Chapter 18 - Le Petit Empereur Chapter 19 - The Return Of The Queen Chapter 20 - Ken Doll and Barbie the CEO Chapter 21 - 👑Kengan de Huángdi👑 Chapter 22 - Crimson Spider Lily Chapter 23 - The Connector Chapter 24 - Wǒ Qīn'ài de Húxiān Huánghòu

#your guardian angel #kengan ashura #kengan ashura x oc #kengan ashura imagine #kengan ashura x reader #kengan omega x oc #kengan omega x reader #kengan omega imagine #kengan omega #tokita ohma x hasashi kisara #tokita ohma x oc #tokita ohma x reader #tokita ohma imagine #tokita ohma

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restinslices · 1 year ago

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Earth realm boys dating a popstar???? 👀👀👀👀

“Send me ideas guys” *proceeds to hit brain block* I didn’t know if you wanted the Lin Kuei Bros or Syzoth involved but imma add this little rule/guideline(?) so I don’t throw myself down the stairs. So the Earthrealm Boys will be Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, Raiden and Liu Kang. Lin Kuei Bros are Bi-Han, Kuai Liang and Tomas. You can also ask for specific characters but IMMA LET YALL KNOW RIGHT NOW y’all have a limit of FIVE people per post or I’m sleeping in traffic.

Johnny Cage

If you think Johnny Cage is anything other than excited, you're wrong.

There's no way he doesn't enjoy dating a pop star.

He'd tell you how great your names sound together. Johnny Cage the movie star and you the pop star.

He's probably asked you if your songs can be in his movies.

I think he'd be extremely supportive. Sometimes a little overbearing. Some people might enjoy him wanting to come to every show, while some people may say “dude, calm down”.

Your ringtone on his phone is one of your songs for sure

He also asks for some of your merch for free since ya know, debt 😀

If there's a dance that goes along with it, I can definitely see him learning it and showing you how good (bad) he is

Please let him be in your music videos. He's on his knees begging

He has such a huge ego, he'd probably say something like “you can't possibly turn down an A lister like me”

He's so President of your fanclub

He also posts exclusives of you on his social media

This may sound selfish but he's hoping your popularity will increase his. When we meet him, his fame is dying out so he's hoping being seen with you will remind people he exists

Don't get it misconstrued though. He adores you. He just can't help but have these thoughts

Probably makes you promise to dedicate a song to him too. Realistically he wants an album but he'll take whatever

He's so Ken coded to me and remember, Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him. You're his Barbie, regardless of gender

Kenshi Takahashi

Considering the fact that he's on the run from the Yakuza, uhhhh he's not the happiest

Is he proud? Yeah. But dating him puts a huge target on your back. Kenshi can hide. You, as a popstar, can't do that. You're always in the spotlight. And since the Yakuza got connections, they'd find out somehow.

He'd encourage you to take a break until things cool over. Only problem is he doesn't know when that'd be, and the music industry is competitive. You don't have time to be on a break. People could forget about you.

Under any other circumstance, he'd be happy for you. Not many people can make it in the music industry. There are tons of people who have big plans but settle for less.

In any other circumstance he'd listen to your songs, spread the word about your concerts, buy your merch cause he's not in debt, even attend a few concerts.

Now though, he's uptight and worried. Every concert you have he's worried will be your last. Any fan meet you have he's worried will end in death.

I honestly think he'd try to actively avoid anything that has to do with your career. It's a constant reminder that you're doing the exact opposite of what he's asking you to and you're putting yourself in danger. This could possibly cause a lot of arguments since he could come off as controlling when in reality he's worried and trying to be cautious

He's trying to avoid anything to do with your career but every playlist he has has your songs sprinkled throughout them

Overall he's proud of you but life has him pretty uptight. He'll be his normal self once he restores his clan.

Kung Lao

This cocky little shit is so hype his partner is famous

I can see him talking about your music with others like “my partner? They make music. You probably know them. I don't know yours though cause they're unknown. How are y'all paying the bills?”

You tell him not to do that but he continues anyway. Everyone had to know how awesome you were compared to them

Idk why I have this scene in my head of him buying your concert tickets to sell it again but make it more expensive. I legit don't know why but I couldn't ignore it.

Kung Lao has such a huge ego and your success does not help that. In fact, it makes it worse

How many people can say they're dating a popstar? Or anyone famous for that matter?

I can see him “helping” with lyrics but the shit he tries to add is dog shit so you do not add it, which he does not get.

“I have an ear for music” “An ear. Not a talent”

Starts a fanclub and forces Raiden to be involved

You'd think he's the popstar with how much pride he has when it comes to your career

Like Kenshi, he has a whole playlist dedicated to you and your songs are sprinkled throughout his other playlists

If you ask for his honest opinion on a song, he's gonna give you his honest opinion so be prepared. It's like asking a kid if a jacket makes you look fat.

He doesn't mean to be malicious. He just can't have you releasing bad shit. His approach just isn't the best but it's all with love

“What do you think about Bubblegum?” “The chorus isn't catchy at all if I'm being honest. You've definitely made better”

He'd help though by saying what he liked from other songs and it'd steer you in the right direction

Your career? No. Y'ALL career. UterUS type shit

In all seriousness, he's very happy that out of all the celebrities you could be with, you chose a non celebrity like him.

Raiden

Honestly I don't think anyone would even know you're dating. He's just too shy.

With Johnny, he's famous and has no shame so that's how people know you're together. The Yakuza is out here so that's how they know about you and Kenshi. Kung Lao is Kung Lao, idk how else to explain it. With Raiden though, I don't think he'd want your fans to know you're dating.

He's shy and also values privacy and you respect that. Your fans know you're dating someone just not who.

He probably has a second account he uses to stay up to date with fan discourse

Likes every edit of you and shows you them.

“Were you looking these up?” “I… don't know what you could possibly mean”

I don't think he's a big concert person. I don't know why. At least not a huge, no personal space type of concert. So I think he'd do other things to support like using that second account to promote your activities, reposting edits, and buying your stuff.

Knowing his luck, that second account for privacy and being sneaky would end up getting fans attention. He'd become the main update page everyone goes to. Guess he wasn't sneaky enough

Probably asks you to sing to him when it's quiet

Has bought a poster of you and forgot to take it down when you came over

“Kung Lao put that up” “Mhm, sure”

He has two hats. His normal hat and a hat that has stickers of you on it. Kung Lao or Johnny probably did it to tease him but he kept it anyway

Dedicate a song to him and watch how flustered he gets. He'd be so honored

If you had an MV and there was a love interest in it, he wouldn't wanna be jealous but it'd happen.

Everytime he sees you perform or hears you, he falls deeper in love. Like Kung Lao, he's very happy you picked him to be your love and muse

Liu Kang

He probably saw this coming based on your life in the past timeline

Knowing how the past timelines were though, your life was probably chaotic and your music career was probably disturbed by the constant threats

Seeing you just having fun and making music in this timeline would make him extremely happy and proud of himself for creating such a peaceful timeline (at first)

Liu Kang has glowing eyes so there's a chance concerts aren't happening, but I think he'd still stream your music like everyone else

Would probably try to keep you far away from any disturbances. When he takes his champions to Outworld, he makes up a lie. He doesn't want what you're passionate about disturbed at all

Supportive in the sense that he's always going to say “yes” to whatever ideas you have. A breakup song? Great idea. A fun party song? Awesome. A fan meet? Sounds fun.

He genuinely just wants you happy this time and music makes you happy.

You could talk him into using his fire as some background effect as long as others won't see

He talks you into doing smaller performances at Madam Bo's. You're spying on Raiden and Kung Lao without even knowing

Whenever you find out about the shit storm going on, he does not want you involved and will say so. He wants you to focus on your passion and let him take care of it. Whether you do or not is up to you

After all that though you'd probably end up making music for Johnny's movie about shit that happened. He doesn't disapprove but thinks you can do better than make a soundtrack for Johnny 'Big Mouth’ Cage

Secret fanboy. Forced to act all serious all the time but he's mumbling your lyrics under his breath, even if it's super cutesy.

He's just so happy for you. I know I keep repeating it but you probably DIED in the past timeline or some shit so seeing you happy and just living? It shows his efforts for peace paid off.

I usually say smth after but idk what to say. I wanna start art commissions so bad but half bodies are kicking my ass. I’m finna start tweaking fr

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #johnny cage #johnny cage mk1 #johnny cage x reader #kenshi takahashi #kenshi takahashi mk1 #kenshi takashi x reader #kung lao #kung lao mk1 #kung lao x reader #raiden #raiden mk1 #raiden mortal kombat #raiden x reader #liu kang #liu kang mk1 #liu kang x reader

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semi-senioritis · 1 year ago

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LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

GOKURAKUGAI TO RELEASE IN SPRING 2024!!? FIRST VOL ON APRIL 16!!!!!!

#gokurakugai sanbandori no ken #gokurakugai #the gokuraku district's third avenue incident #manga #yuto sano #spending money paying off my student debt loans < buying the first vol of Gokurakugai

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chaifootsteps · 2 months ago

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oh that IG post made me see red. She has never done anything for anyone. She’s hurt so many people, funny how most of them were trans. She only creates for herself so she can “own haterz” she hates women who aren’t famous. She as never struggled for anything even as a woman, she always handed everything to her and everyone kept saying “yes” the ones who had to fight are the ones she hurt and tried to destroy like Tracy, Ashely, Erin, Ken and so many others. She has an army of parasocial fans as that would do anything for her and now Jeff bezos. Also fuck off this isn’t about you, you’re not gonna help anyone that isn’t you, how many employees were doing emergency commissions because they couldn’t afford rent? Did she donate? Did she boast their commissions? What the fuck did she do that helps women and queer people?

The only thing Viv's ever done for other women is try to actively tear them down. She's torn down other queer people, trans and nobinary people. She's left animators who had the misfortune of working for her in debt. She's not part of the solution, she's part of the problem.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #vivziepop critical

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wuishu · 1 year ago

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She's everything. He's just Ken

(I love the Barbie movie so much)

“WHAT THE FUCK? I AM DONE WITH THIS GAME. I don't wanna do this anymore!” he whined while covering his face in frustration. Despite his efforts to work his way out of his enormous debt by streaming another truck sim, he still failed miserably. He was not really angry, he was just putting on a show. He was also getting tired, and doing this stunt made his end stream funnier.

“Alright, I’m done. I’ll read your donations, and then end stream.”

Finishing his late-night stream, he couldn't wait to just rest with his girlfriend on a couch, watching movies until their eyes fell. He sighed and walked towards your recording room. You were currently streaming a game that wasn't a sweat-inducing game, but a chill game. Talking to chat while reading donations, you were getting comfortable when you heard your door open.

“I’m still streaming.” You moved your mic away from your mouth and looked at Schlatt. He hummed, indicating that he heard you. Your relationship was public, but people seeing you together in a stream was new to you. He was different on his channel, the usual crazy, anger-issued guy who has odd humor; he showed your viewer that he’s different when you're together.

“Hey, Y/N’s chat” He waved his hand at your camera and smile, he found a wooden chair near you and pushed it next to you so they would see him on your stream. The chair was a bit small compared to you, but he still looks bigger. “What are you playing right now?” he asked you, handing him your other bud to let him hear the relaxing background music.

You slowly swerved your chair, so you could be close to him. “It’s hidden folks. It’s like where's Waldo but listen” You pressed the chest and a man used his voice to imitate the sound of a chest opening. “Oh wow, not weird at all” he smiled

“It’s not weird, I think it’s cute that they're using their vocals for the game” He nodded and looked at your monitor, trying to help you find the things that you needed to win. You on the other hand, watched your chat roll looking at what they thought. He held your hand and moved the mouse to hover over a person. “There, that little shit hiding in the bush.”

‘Well, you look at that chat. What a helpful man”

After about half an hour has passed, he was getting so tired of helping you that you gave up and talked to your chat. Slowly he laid his head on your shoulder and also answering some of chats questions. You placed your hand on his hair and patted it like a cat. “Yeah, we wanted to watch the Barbie movie, but our free time rarely collides.” You didn't realize that Schlatt was falling asleep because of how soothing your voice was and how gentle you are at massaging his scalp.

: Your ken is falling asleep

You slowly looked at your screen that opened your stream. You can see his eyes closed while he is silently snoring. “My ken is asleep… Alright, chat. I think we're gonna head out. I’ll see you guys on Monday,” you whispered.

You woke Schlatt up to let him know that the stream had ended, he walked to your shared bathroom and started brushing his teeth. After doing everything he needed he lay down, and made himself feel comfortable in bed. You did your nightly routine while scrolling through Twitter, you noticed a screenshot of your stream earlier and a picture of Ken placing his head on Barbie's shoulder and clinging onto her for dear life and the caption was “They're literally Barbie and Ken”. You giggled while brushing your hair.

"Babe, are you awake?” he hummed quietly. You got on the bed and suddenly a hand was wrapped around your waist.

“We should totally watch the new movie Barbie tomorrow.”

#schlatt #jschlatt #schlatt x reader #schlatt x you #jschlatt x reader #idk man #jschlatt fanfiction #jschlatt imagine #schlatt fanfic

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briarscreek · 4 months ago

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Task Force 141 as Different Kens from Barbie Movies

A/N: This is just such a specific niche that I had to get it out or it would kill me. I’m only writing based on memory bc I’m lacking in the Barbie movie department rn so please bare with me. Not everyone will have a role in each other’s stories but I’ll try to at least include them in different roles. I did take some creative liberties bc some Barbie movie endings I think could be fixed but that’s what fanfiction is for. This was for shits and giggles so have fun!!

John Price as King Dominick from Princess & the Pauper but hear me out:

you, the lowly pauper wanted to sing to your hearts content, sharing the joy of your voice and melody around the world

but that wasn’t in the cards for you as of right now

with a mountain of debt from your parents providing for you, you had to stay in Madame Carp’s Dress Emporium to work it off

after accidentally bumping into your kingdom’s princess in the village square, you both realized that you looked identical

you immediately became friends with her along with sharing both of your troubles

her stuck in a soon to be marriage to help the kingdom but wanting to investigate further in the old mines and you, stuck in debt up to your neck at a dress shop wanting to sing to the world

with a promise of calling you to sing one day, you both returned back to your lives

it wasn’t but a day later that Gaz (Julian just in this scenrio) called for you about an important issue

the princess had gone missing! he asked you to fill in for her until he found her and uncovered the plot against the crown

he taught you everything you needed to know but trying to get it to stick was the hard part

John Price was supposed to wed the smart/scientific princess from a kingdom about to be bankrupt but he wanted to make sure that she was at least kind and a possible fair ruler to their kingdoms (hence the get up as one of the king’s advisors; let’s be honest, he could never pass for a stable boy)

but when you entered, took three steps, and fell flat on your face he couldn’t do anything other than let his heart melt at the sight of you (and be worried that you broke your nose)

while filling in for the princess just until Gaz could find her you tried as hard as you could to play the part

when the king’s advisor introduced himself, you couldn’t help but be mesmerized by his alluring, soft eyes and the way he kissed your hand in greeting

at least he was, or you hoped he could be attainable after the charade you’re pulling

once he heard you sing by accidentally listening in after your bath one day about being true to yourself, he couldn’t help but feel guilty about lying to you; not when you’re about to supposedly be married in less than a week

when he reintroduced himself as the actual king and not his advisor, your heart broke and mended at the same time

he spent the next day or two getting to know you or in this case the real you (since he had no idea who the real princess was)

when you were discovered as a fake by Shepherd (aka Preminger) you were immediately detained and dragged away

price couldn’t do anything to help you at the time, this wasn’t his kingdom and he had no say in the internal affairs

when he heard you accuse Shepherd as the one who actually has the princess, he was dead set on figuring out the truth

you lied to him but he lied to you too, so he couldn’t leave you as a sitting duck in the dungeon

after getting over resigning yourself in the cell, you made it your mission to prove yourself innocent

lulling the guard to sleep? easy. sneaking out through the winding dungeon tunnels? piece of cake. not looking where you were going in fear of being chased? stupid.

running right into the arms of a guard, he dismissed the others chasing after you, saying the queen had special orders for you

while being dragged away, you stepped on his armor’s weak spot (his foot) and elbowed him hard in the face only to receive an “easy, darling it’s me”

king price?!?! why is he here?

“I had a feeling there was more to you than Shepherd accused you of.”

“You do love disguises, don’t you”

you bit back a smile, wanting to kiss him but the immediate danger of the princess and the queen ran to the forefront of your mind.

with him hot on your heels, you both interrupted the royal wedding between the queen and Shepherd; right as the princess and Gaz arrived

proving his plan to be true, Shepherd was immediately detained and thrown in the dungeon for his sentencing to be delivered another time

with the princess’s new discovery of rare and precious gemstones in the old mines that she was trapped in, there was no need for her to marry King John Price anymore

with no hard feelings, he accepted it and even offered help of his own scientists and excavators to help the princess’ kingdom be brought back to financial health

the day you always dreamed of came, offered a deal by a talent scout to take your voice to the world

you would be gone for a year but before you departed, Price had something to give you

“it’s only ever belonged to you”

a simple diamond ring with a gold band, a symbol of his devotion and love to you; the real you

“no promises?”

“i’ll take my chances, darling”

throughout the year of touring the world, you met a great many people; kings & queens, princesses & princes, lords & ladies, even an empress admired your voice

but it all felt hollow, without the one you love most beside you

after all, his ring never left your finger once (only to bathe yourself did you take it off)

with hope in your heart, you went to his kingdom as your last stop on your tour

“you decided to end your tour here? why, dearest?”

“i hoped I could fulfill a promise. your majesty would you allow this pauper of humble beginnings to have a chance at your heart?”

“my darling, you’ve had my heart since we met”

nothing else in the world could compare to the kiss you two shared at the alter

Gaz as Prince Eric/The Nutcracker (PLEASE LISTEN):

after being gifted a toy nutcracker for christmas by your Uncle Drosselmeyer (John Price in this instance; could be by blood or family friend), you couldn’t help but absolutely adore it

it was a treasure unlike any other, yours to covet and keep in pristine condition

until your brother Tommy wanted it as a general for his toy soldier army

one thing led to another and its arm hinge snapped

your stomach dropped as you hurried to try to fix it

it was christmas eve and the best you could do to help him was create a cloth arm sling; just until you could take him to the toymaker for him to get properly fixed the day after tomorrow

you fell asleep on the couch that night, with the nutcracker by your head in a protective position

the hushed voices of small armies reached your ears wait that can’t be right

mice?!?!? what are mice doing in your living room?!? and with swords at that?

wait, where’s your nutcracker?

a quick glance and you saw him fighting mice at your feet

this isn’t a fair fight, there’s one of him and hundreds of mice soldiers

helping even the odds of the (dream?) battle was the least you could do

“leave him alone!”

armed with a large and sturdy vase, you instantly started to hit the hordes of mice until one with a scepter pointed it at you and yelled about you becoming smaller

right in front of your eyes, you shrunk to their size

quickly feeling unequipped to fight the army, you ran for the mantle and its garland hung from the fire place

after the battle was subdued and the mice retreated, you finally came face to face with your nutcracker

“you’re real? am I dreaming? who are you?”

“this is real and you can call me Gaz, sweetheart”

once you were equipped with a necklace to send you home after your journey, you and Gaz set off towards the mouse hole in hopes of finding the sugarplum princess to stop the mouse kings’ tyrannical rule

he introduced you to his home and explained what was going on

“the prince was a coward, and ran as soon as he could when the mouse king took the throne”

you noticed a twinge of harshness in his voice

the prince? prince who?

walking the terrain of the kingdom was easier said then done, and coming upon the remnants of the candy village left your heart broken

these poor people, driven from their homes just because a mouse wanted a throne

after successfully helping two children who were left behind in the village, they helped you tame a horse with a carriage to help lighten the load on the trip

taking a break in the forest helped to ease the childrens’ minds as well as give Marzipan some time to rest

it wasn’t until you were running from the mouse army did you happen upon the group of survivors from the scattered kingdom

Major Mint (Ghost) and Captain Candy (Soap) introduced themselves; beginning to bicker about how Prince Kyle’s selfish actions and lack of responsibility were the reason they were in this mess with the mouse king

“those were some pretty harsh words, Prince Kyle”

“you know, sweetheart?”

“it’s kind of hard not to notice but don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone”

it’s then that he said he promises to do better, be better (for you but he doesn’t realize that yet)

teaming up with Major Ghost and Captain Soap (i know these aren’t their actual ranks just go with it) had been a piece of cake; they volunteered to ready a boat to cross the giant sea while you and Gaz went out for supplies

after noticing a hole covering, you took Gaz’s sword and tried as hard as you could to open it, hearing small pleas of help from inside

it wasn’t until Gaz joined you for a final push did the cover slot free, letting the small fairies out of their prison

in their gratitude, they helped you gather more supplies and a moment between you and Gaz began to grow; hoping he would kiss you

but sadly that never came as a giant stone monster shook the earth and Gaz grabbed your hand; never letting you go as you both made for the boat beside the Major and Captain

you narrowly escaped a giant rock monster after it destroyed your boat; and fled on a sea of ice with the horse Marzipan leading the way

after successfully getting to the island where the sugar plum princess was rumored to be, Gaz, Ghost, and Soap entered the brightly colored castle without a second thought; desperate to find the princess

it was only a second before you realized that the castle was flat and painted did the trap spring on all three men

with you left behind on the island, you were desperate to help them in any way trying to come up with a plan

the fairies that you had freed before came to help, offering to carry you to the castle before Gaz could be used as firewood

it was by sheer luck that you happened upon a guarded room in the bottom of a tower

with easy manipulation towards the mouse guards, they scurried to their king; with your lie about him wanting them front and center in the courtyard on their minds

with the keys you pocketed off the sprinting guards you unlocked the door to find—

“why would they guard an empty room”

“we’re here miss!”

“we’re right in front of you”

“we can see her but she can’t see us. come on sweetheart. you know we’re here”

their hearts sank just a little when you turned to leave but turned to surprise when you picked up a metal lantern off the wall and crashed it towards the glass spell keeping them prisoners

“well done, sweetheart”

“come on! the mouse king has everyone in the courtyard”

an intense battle later with the mouse king left Gaz in a rough state, you quick to comfort him and fearing for his life

“you’ll be alright, Gaz. i know you will”

“it’s alright, sweetheart. i’ve been through worse.”

with the mouse kings anger, he aimed a spell at you but with the last of his strength did Gaz reflect the spell back onto the mouse king; making him shrink smaller instead to the size of an actual mouse

for his bravery, you bestowed him a kiss on the forehead thanking him for protecting you

it was then that everything changed, Gaz turned back into Prince Kyle and his subjects from stone back to people

everyone rejoiced in the knowledge that the true heir to throne was with them all along, fighting beside them

when Gaz turned to you, he saw the fairies you freed turn your old nightgown into a gorgeous dress with a crown atop your head

“it all makes sense”

“what does?”

“the sugar plum princess is kind, selfless and brave. it’s you sweetheart, it’s been you all along”

a smile adorned your face as the kingdom celebrated the end of the mouse kings reign right there

there was music, dancing, and even Ghost and Soap joined in on the fun

Gaz—Prince Kyle politely extended his hand towards you

“may i have this dance, sweetheart?”

“of course”

with both of you dancing to your hearts content, you couldn’t help but feel closer to him

at the end of the dance, Gaz dropped to one knee, his eyes filled with love for you

“will you stay with me sweetheart? will you be my princess?”

“i know this locket is supposed to take me home but I know in my heart i’m already there”

Gaz couldn’t help but let his smile grow wider, rising to meet you face to face

at the last second before your lips touched, the shrunken mouse king stole your locket and opened it for you

as you began to disappear Gaz couldn’t help but be heartbroken

“sweetheart!”

“Gaz!”

you awoke with a start on the couch, the giant clock ripping you from your dream

after a moment of drowsiness passed, you began to desperately search for your nutcracker but he wasn’t anywhere in the living room

you searched everywhere, even about to yell at Tommy to help you find him when your uncle came towards you

“Uncle! Have you seen my—“

“Ah, there you are dear, I was out on a morning stroll when I found my old friend. He saved my life once, years ago. I believe you should meet him”

“But Uncle, I have to find—“

“Hello, sweetheart”

it was then that Price’s plan had worked; getting his niece to bring back his cursed military friend and helping her to find a love she’s always dreamed of.

Simon “Ghost” Riley as Aiden from The Magic of Pegasus (he is the only one i think is close enough to Ghost’s broody personality and backstory in terms of Barbie age appropriate stories):

your parents had always been strict with you. never go outside, stay in the castle, don’t let yourself be seen.

it was exhausting, but all you wanted to do was skate on the ice in your winter kingdom.

on the night of your 21st birthday, you had snuck out to join the fun with the people of your kingdom on the frozen river.

the happy atmosphere was over in an instant when an unknown warlock introduced himself as your future husband.

“husband? I will never marry you”

your parents had arrived just in time to beg Makarov (Welock the sorcerer) not to do this again

again? what did they mean again?

right before your eyes, Makarov gave you a choice; either marry him in 3 days or your kingdom and parents shall be set to ice forever

in an instant, a horse with wings yelled at you to climb on and leaving no time to explain you both set off towards the sky filled with clouds

she brought you towards the cloud kingdom and it’s Queen (Kate Laswell; why not spice it up)

the queen explained that this has happened before, to your sister Brietta

your sister? you have a sister?

unfortunately, Brietta was turned into a pegasus; the very one who helped you escape from Makarov

“Brietta, I’m so sorry. What can I do to fix all of this?”

Cloud Queen Kate told you that Makarov could only be defeated by a Wand of Light made by the measure of courage, a ring of love, and a gem of ice lit by hopes eternal flame

after setting off with Brietta and your pet polar bear Shiver, all three of you began your journey in the dark forest

running into a smart-mouthed blacksmith was not on your to-do list

“and what are you doing in the forest all alone by yourself, love?” (the pet name is irritating)

and there was Simon Riley (Aiden), a blacksmith

“only fools come to the dark forest”

“and yet, you’re here”

“touche, lovie. what are you doing here?”

“i am gonna make a Wanda of Light to save my kingdom”

he chuckled at that; he never heard something so ridiculous in all his life

once you fixed him with a look, he realized you were serious

“if you help me make it, i’ll pay you!”

“you do realize it’s a myth love, right?”

“half the gold payment from what I have on me now, and more when I get my kingdom back”

now that was a hard bargain he couldn’t pass up

in your negotiating back and forth, you heard Shiver fall through some branches and started to scream for help

“love what are you doing?”

“someone has to help Shiver, and if you won’t, I will”

“wait, no it’s a trap-“

jumping feet first into the now broken branches before he could talk you out of it

he couldn’t believe how downright ridiculous this plan of yours was

he guesses he has to help you now, before you do anything else crazy

after successfully escaping the troll’s stew pot with just your hair ribbon, you made your way out the door and was greeted by Brietta

along with Simon, for some reason

Brietta was the first to notice

“Was your hair ribbon always that long? If you put it next to you, it’s your exact height!”

And right before everyone’s eyes, your ribbon turned from flimsy to a solid staff in your hands

“Oh a measure of courage! It makes sense now”

unable to deny the truth now and getting closer to making it, Simon agreed to help you

Simon stated that he knew someone to talk to about finding rare gemstones

after acquiring a map, all of you made the trek up the highest mountain for a rare gemstone

it was only based on your thinking that helped to realize that the rise of the dawn is hope’s eternal flame

upon entering the cave of gems, the warning rang back in your mind

take only what you need

after picking a gemstone for the staff, your heart spiked as Simon reached for another gem

“wait Simon! it said only take what you need”

“I know what it said love, I read it myself”

he picked a singular gem and nothing happened

the cave only collapsed when Shiver begin to play with gems and jewelry on the floor, putting them on herself

in a rush to hurry out, Brietta realized she only had enough strength to take one of you out of the self-destructing cave

a pegasus neighed in the distance, a gift from the Cloud Queen herself to help you both out

in another mountain cave to weather out the snowstorm, Brietta offered her tiara as the ring of love

with it completely enclosed to make a ring, Simon heated up his tools and got to work

“Simon, why did you take that gemstone?”

“my mates and I started our own blacksmithing business, but in my infinite wisdom wanted to help double our profits instead of waiting for the work to come to us. I lost it all in a gambling table, every single cent that we combined to make the shop itself.”

you couldn’t help but feel upset for him, his heart was in the right place yet his efforts led to no success

“promised myself I wouldn’t face them again until I gained it all back. thanks to you lovie and that gemstone, I might have a chance”

you realized that Simon wasn’t just rough around the edges but he cared deeply for others in his lives

maybe he could care for you one day too

on your journey back to your kingdom with the staff in hand, you heard Makarov’s harpy scream behind you giving chase

he finally caught up to you, and you raised the wand towards him

“destroy him!”

Makarov only laughed when nothing happened

“Wow the magical wand of Light is nothing but a prop, how disappointing.”

as a last ditch effort, you offered up yourself to marry him

“and why would I want you now? you’re exactly like my other wives. the least I can do is put you out of your misery”

an avalanche buried you faster than you could see it coming

“LOVE!”

it was Simon, rushing towards you as he dug his hands in the snow along with Brietta using her hooves as fast as she could

“hang on love, you’re gonna be ok”

with haste, they made for the Cloud Queen’s castle as Simon carried you in his arms

all they could do is wait for you now

“love? love please wake up. I need you”

“simon?”

when you finally awoke, you and simon hatched a plan to sneak into Makarov’s fortress to take back the wand

finding no stairs or paved paths, both you and simon strapped on some ice skates

“think you can keep up?”

“i think I can manage, love.”

once you both evaded being seen as much as you could, you split off to divide and conquer

“I’ll take care of the harpy, you grab the wand, love”

once you finally defeated Makarov and broke his wives out of his spell, you and Simon decided that the wives could take care of him themselves

with the kingdom back to it’s former glory, Simon invited you to join him on his visit to the blacksmith cottage

“Simon, you dolt! Where have you been?”

“We’ve been worried sick about ya!”

“Aye, ‘nd we’ve ‘ad more business as of late”

“I’m sorry mates, I lost all of our savings in a gambling game. I was trying to get it back before I faced ya again.”

“You know we don’t care about money, Si. We just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“We love you, brother”

“Aye we do. And who’s this beautiful young maiden you’ve brought with you?”

“This is my fiancee, the princess.”

They couldn’t believe that Simon, their Simon, finally softened up to someone. And to a princess no less!

Johnny MacTavish as Prince Stefan from Barbie as Rapunzel (He fit as Stefan more than the prince in Swan Lake but someone else will be taking that title if y’all like this post and want another one):

living as Gothel’s servant was never easy

doing chores day in and day out exhausted you

in your escape, you found painting, just dreaming of the places you wished to visit

of course Gothel never liked this

after she left the mansion grounds to run errands one day, you and your best friends Penelope and Hobie discovered a secret passage that led from the kitchen to some sort of storage chamber

finding a hairbrush engraved with your name and a portrait of Gothel with a man whose face was scratched out, gave you more questions than answers

if Gothel said that you were abandoned, then why did she have a hairbrush engraved with the words of someone saying they loved you as constant as the stars above?

With Penelope’s eagerness to see it too, her excitement made her jump and crash right through the storage floor

a secret passage? to where? you were about to find out.

Penelope wanted to go with you but couldn’t fit through the hole and Hobie was down right afraid of Gothel finding out, so the both of them stayed behind

the corridor itself led to a beautiful kingdom with a charming village, all of the sellers trying to influence you to buy something

after perusing the village for a good portion of the day, the next step was to walk the apple orchard right off the stone path

it was a few minutes later that you heard a little girl scream and branches breaking

rushing to her aid, two other girls on horseback went to get help from someone else as well

“grab my hand!”

“I can’t! I’m slipping!”

“I know, just let go with one hand and I’ll grab you”

she did as you told but after pulling her halfway up, you slipped on the edge of the pit trap yourself

two hands flew to your waist to pull both of you out before you could fall in

“are ya alright, bonnie?”

“yes, I’m ok. thank you for your help. where did that trap come from?”

“a courtesy of King Wilhelm, unfortunately. he thinks we stole somethin’ from ‘im years ago”

“oh that sounds awful”

the mysterious man smiled and you took the time to notice that his head was shaved in a mohawk pattern

“pardon my ruddness, bonnie. my name is—“

“DON’T tell me! trust me, it’s better that I don’t know”

“mysterious. i like it”

at that, you both smiled at each other

“I should get my nieces back inside but don’t go ‘nywhere!”

you nodded your head but it soon surprised you to see Penelope yelling after you

Gothel was on her way home and Penelope came to warn you

Penelope begged you to come back and you agreed wholeheartedly, although a little sad you might never meet that mysterious and handsome man again

you thought you had made it just in time and without being discovered but it was Otto who betrayed you

you’re not even surprised

“and who was this man that you met in the village today? what was his name?”

“i don’t know”

“you’re lying to me”

after a heated argument of Gothel thinking your only lying, she destroyed every painting and art supplies in your room, even lengthening your bedroom tower to become too high to climb down without stairs

that night as you cried yourself to sleep, something magical happened beside you of your hairbrush turning in to a paint brush

Penelope and Hobie, feeling upset for your situation, decided to cheer you up by making paint from the berry garden outside

they brought it to you though your window, encouraging you to paint

“but I don’t have a paintbrush”

“why not use this one”

the same one that sat beside your bed

you gave it a try, the red berry color changing into a rich green and you soon realized the paintbrush itself was made of magic

after painting the portrait, your hand passed through it, understanding that this painting could become your escape

as you pushed through, you almost bumped into the handsome man with the odd hair again

“oh bonnie, there you are. i was lookin to find ya.”

“Oh, I just, had to go home. But could you help me find the maker of this paintbrush?”

“Aye, I know just who to ask.”

he lead you to a iron carver’s shop by the name of Kyle’s

“Oh your high—“

Johnny immediately motioned for Gaz not to say any pleasantries behind your back and he was quick to get the message. you were none the wiser

“Hi-hi-hi-hi-hi. Ahem, what can I do for you today?”

“I was hoping you might recognize the maker behind this paintbrush”

“Oh I know it, it’s my brother’s”

“May I meet him?”

“I’m sorry but after King Wilhelm set up his borders, I haven’t been able to talk to him in years”

“I’m so sorry”

In ending the conversation and visit with Gaz, the handsome man led you on a walk through the village until he pulled out a piece of paper

“it’s an invitation for a masquerade ball tonight. I was hoping aye could meet ya there bonnie?”

with his pleading eyes and soft smile, you couldn’t say no to him

Penelope once again came up to you, huffing about her father being in trouble if you don’t come back

Johnny couldn’t handle the fact that there was a dragon, let alone a dragon who’s talking with you.

As quick as you could you ran after Penelope but not before looking back at you handsome man

“I’ll be there tonight”

“I’ll see you then, lass”

with a pep in your step and ready to finally break free, you decided to paint your own dress; much easier than trying to find one

once you were in love with your finished product, you finally glanced in the mirror and saw Gothel

“once again, I am going to ask you for his name”

“i told you already, I don’t know!”

after that, Gothel ruined everything in your room, from destroying the portal to breaking your paintbrush, even cutting off your hair from its floor length to your shoulders

in a fit of anger, Gothel cast a spell on your tower to never release its prisoner with a lying heart

once Gothel left, your friends Penelope, Hobie and even Penelope’s dad Hugo realized that since you never lied the spell doesn’t affect you

once you arrived at the ball, you realized that chaos had ensued and went straight to the ballroom

“you STOLE my daughter!”

“NO for the thousandth time I NEVER stole her!”

“No, I did” Gothel stated proudly

and there it was, the earth shattering truth

Gothel stole you from your father just because he didn’t love her back

“You took me from my father just because he didn’t love you back?”

“He should have been with me instead!”

with that, you enticed Gothel to chase after you in the maze

“it doesn’t have to be this way Gothel, I can forgive you for all those years. just stop this and we can forget about it.”

“NEVER!”

“Now!”

With Penelope and you behind the door, you both closed it and let Gothel walk right into the portal that took her right to your tower

as you rushed back inside, you saw your father, the other king, and your handsome man finally putting out the fires that Gothel had cause in her wake

when you both made eye contact, he dropped his vase and immediately ran towards you, swooping you in his arms

“are you alright?”

“me? what about you bonnie? are you ‘lright?”

he hugged you even tighter, afraid to let go

King Wilhelm gently took steps towards the pair of you, calling out your name. when he finally held his face in your hands he cried with joy

“oh my beautiful daughter, you look just like your mother.”

King Wilhelm finally turned to the other king and begged for his forgiveness

“All is forgiven, if I were you would have done the same to you if someone took my children”

it was then that you felt a hand hold yours and pull it into his lips.

“may i give you my name now, lass?”

you shook your head in delight

“Johnny MacTavish, at your service, bonnie”

“Seems our children are already set to end this feud”

at that comment made by your Father, you realized—

“You’re the prince of this kingdom?”

“Aye, lass. And you’re a princess. I’d love to court you after you spend time with your father, bonnie. You two have spent too much time apart.”

Your heart melted at that, knowing that his kindness was bottomless

“Promise to write to me?”

“Every minute we’re apart lass”

#task force 141 #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #barbie movie #john soap mctavish x reader #john price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #simon riley x reader #alternate universe

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