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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 month ago

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Retiring the US debt would retire the US dollar

THIS WEDNESDAY (October 23) at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, GEORGIA, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

One of the most consequential series of investigative journalism of this decade was the Propublica series that Jesse Eisinger helmed, in which Eisinger and colleagues analyzed a trove of leaked IRS tax returns for the richest people in America:

https://www.propublica.org/series/the-secret-irs-files

The Secret IRS Files revealed the fact that many of America's oligarchs pay no tax at all. Some of them even get subsidies intended for poor families, like Jeff Bezos, whose tax affairs are so scammy that he was able to claim to be among the working poor and receive a federal Child Tax Credit, a $4,000 gift from the American public to one of the richest men who ever lived:

https://www.propublica.org/article/the-secret-irs-files-trove-of-never-before-seen-records-reveal-how-the-wealthiest-avoid-income-tax

As important as the numbers revealed by the Secret IRS Files were, I found the explanations even more interesting. The 99.9999% of us who never make contact with the secretive elite wealth management and tax cheating industry know, in the abstract, that there's something scammy going on in those esoteric cults of wealth accumulation, but we're pretty vague on the details. When I pondered the "tax loopholes" that the rich were exploiting, I pictured, you know, long lists of equations salted with Greek symbols, completely beyond my ken.

But when Propublica's series laid these secret tactics out, I learned that they were incredibly stupid ruses, tricks so thin that the only way they could possibly fool the IRS is if the IRS just didn't give a shit (and they truly didn't – after decades of cuts and attacks, the IRS was far more likely to audit a family earning less than $30k/year than a billionaire).

This has become a somewhat familiar experience. If you read the Panama Papers, the Paradise Papers, Luxleaks, Swissleaks, or any of the other spectacular leaks from the oligarch-industrial complex, you'll have seen the same thing: the rich employ the most tissue-thin ruses, and the tax authorities gobble them up. It's like the tax collectors don't want to fight with these ultrawealthy monsters whose net worth is larger than most nations, and merely require some excuse to allow them to cheat, anything they can scribble in the box explaining why they are worth billions and paying little, or nothing, or even entitled to free public money from programs intended to lift hungry children out of poverty.

It was this experience that fueled my interest in forensic accounting, which led to my bestselling techno-crime-thriller series starring the two-fisted, scambusting forensic accountant Martin Hench, who made his debut in 2022's Red Team Blues:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865847/red-team-blues

The double outrage of finding out how badly the powerful are ripping off the rest of us, and how stupid and transparent their accounting tricks are, is at the center of Chokepoint Capitalism, the book about how tech and entertainment companies steal from creative workers (and how to stop them) that Rebecca Giblin and I co-authored, which also came out in 2022:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

Now that I've written four novels and a nonfiction book about finance scams, I think I can safely call myself a oligarch ripoff hobbyist. I find this stuff endlessly fascinating, enraging, and, most importantly, energizing. So naturally, when PJ Vogt devoted two episodes of his excellent Search Engine podcast to the subject last week, I gobbled them up:

https://www.searchengine.show/listen/search-engine-1/why-is-it-so-hard-to-tax-billionaires-part-1

I love the way Vogt unpacks complex subjects. Maybe you've had the experience of following a commentator and admiring their knowledge of subjects you're unfamiliar with, only have them cover something you're an expert in and find them making a bunch of errors (this is basically the experience of using an LLM, which can give you authoritative seeming answers when the subject is one you're unfamiliar with, but which reveals itself to be a Bullshit Machine as soon as you ask it about something whose lore you know backwards and forwards).

Well, Vogt has covered many subjects that I am an expert in, and I had the opposite experience, finding that even when he covers my own specialist topics, I still learn something. I don't always agree with him, but always find those disagreements productive in that they make me clarify my own interests. (Full disclosure: I was one of Vogt's experts on his previous podcast, Reply All, talking about the inkjet printerization of everything:)

https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all/brho54

Vogt's series on taxing billionaires was no exception. His interview subjects (including Eisinger) were very good, and he got into a lot of great detail on the leaker himself, Charles Littlejohn, who plead guilty and was sentenced to five years:

https://jacobin.com/2023/10/charles-littlejohn-irs-whistleblower-pro-publica-tax-evasion-prosecution

Vogt also delved into the history of the federal income tax, how it was sold to the American public, and a rather hilarious story of Republican Congressional gamesmanship that backfired spectacularly. I'd never encountered this stuff before and boy was it interesting.

But then Vogt got into the nature of taxation, and its relationship to the federal debt, another subject I've written about extensively, and that's where one of those productive disagreements emerged. Yesterday, I set out to write him a brief note unpacking this objection and ended up writing a giant essay (sorry, PJ!), and this morning I found myself still thinking about it. So I thought, why not clean up the email a little and publish it here?

As much as I enjoyed these episodes, I took serious exception to one – fairly important! – aspect of your analysis: the relationship of taxes to the national debt.

There's two ways of approaching this question, which I think of as akin to classical vs quantum physics. In the orthodox, classical telling, the government taxes us to pay for programs. This is crudely true at 10,000 feet and as a rule of thumb, it's fine in many cases. But on the ground – at the quantum level, in this analogy – the opposite is actually going on.

There is only one source of US dollars: the US Treasury (you can try and make your own dollars, but they'll put you in prison for a long-ass time if they catch you.).

If dollars can only originate with the US government, then it follows that:

a) The US government doesn't need our taxes to get US dollars (for the same reason Apple doesn't need us to redeem our iTunes cards to get more iTunes gift codes);

b) All the dollars in circulation start with spending by the US government (taxes can't be paid until dollars are first spent by their issuer, the US government); and

c) That spending must happen before anyone has been taxed, because the way dollars enter circulation is through spending.

You've probably heard people say, "Government spending isn't like household spending." That is obviously true: households are currency users while governments are currency issuers.

But the implications of this are very interesting.

First, the total dollars in circulation are:

a) All the dollars the government has ever spent into existence funding programs, transferring to the states, and paying its own employees, minus

b) All the dollars that the government has taxed away from us, and subsequently annihilated.

(Because governments spend money into existence and tax money out of existence.)

The net of dollars the government spends in a given year minus the dollars the government taxes out of existence that year is called "the national deficit." The total of all those national deficits is called "the national debt." All the dollars in circulation today are the result of this national debt. If the US government didn't have a debt, there would be no dollars in circulation.

The only way to eliminate the national debt is to tax every dollar in circulation out of existence. Because the national debt is "all the dollars the government has ever spent," minus "all the dollars the government has ever taxed." In accounting terms, "The US deficit is the public's credit."

When billionaires like Warren Buffet tell Jesse Eisinger that he doesn't pay tax because "he thinks his money is better spent on charitable works rather than contributing to an insignificant reduction of the deficit," he is, at best, technically wrong about why we tax, and at worst, he's telling a self-serving lie. The US government doesn't need to eliminate its debt. Doing so would be catastrophic. "Retiring the US debt" is the same thing as "retiring the US dollar."

So if the USG isn't taxing to retire its debts, why does it tax? Because when the USG – or any other currency issuer – creates a token, that token is, on its face, useless. If I offered to sell you some "Corycoins," you would quite rightly say that Corycoins have no value and thus you don't need any of them.

For a token to be liquid – for it to be redeemable for valuable things, like labor, goods and services – there needs to be something that someone desires that can be purchased with that token. Remember when Disney issued "Disney dollars" that you could only spend at Disney theme parks? They traded more or less at face value, even outside of Disney parks, because everyone knew someone who was planning a Disney vacation and could make use of those Disney tokens.

But if you go down to a local carny and play skeeball and win a fistful of tickets, you'll find it hard to trade those with anyone outside of the skeeball counter, especially once you leave the carny. There's two reasons for this:

1) The things you can get at the skeeball counter are pretty crappy so most people don't desire them; and ' 2) Most people aren't planning on visiting the carny, so there's no way for them to redeem the skeeball tickets even if they want the stuff behind the counter (this is also why it's hard to sell your Iranian rials if you bring them back to the US – there's not much you can buy in Iran, and even someone you wanted to buy something there, it's really hard for US citizens to get to Iran).

But when a sovereign currency issuer – one with the power of the law behind it – demands a tax denominated in its own currency, they create demand for that token. Everyone desires USD because almost everyone in the USA has to pay taxes in USD to the government every year, or they will go to prison. That fact is why there is such a liquid market for USD. Far more people want USD to pay their taxes than will ever want Disney dollars to spend on Dole Whips, and even if you are hoping to buy a Dole Whip in Fantasyland, that desire is far less important to you than your desire not to go to prison for dodging your taxes.

Even if you're not paying taxes, you know someone who is. The underlying liquidity of the USD is inextricably tied to taxation, and that's the first reason we tax. By issuing a token – the USD – and then laying on a tax that can only be paid in that token (you cannot pay federal income tax in anything except USD – not crypto, not euros, not rials – only USD), the US government creates demand for that token.

And because the US government is the only source of dollars, the US government can purchase anything that is within its sovereign territory. Anything denominated in US dollars is available to the US government: the labor of every US-residing person, the land and resources in US territory, and the goods produced within the US borders. The US doesn't need to tax us to buy these things (remember, it makes new money by typing numbers into a spreadsheet at the Federal Reserve). But it does tax us, and if the taxes it levies don't equal the spending it's making, it also sells us T-bills to make up the shortfall.

So the US government kinda acts like classical physics is true, that is, like it is a household and thus a currency user, and not a currency issuer. If it spends more than it taxes, it "borrows" (issues T-bills) to make up the difference. Why does it do this? To fight inflation.

The US government has no monetary constraints, it can make as many dollars as it cares to (by typing numbers into a spreadsheet). But the US government is fiscally constrained, because it can only buy things that are denominated in US dollars (this is why it's such a big deal that global oil is priced in USD – it means the US government can buy oil from anywhere, not only the USA, just by typing numbers into a spreadsheet).

The supply of dollars is infinite, but the supply of labor and goods denominated in US dollars is finite, and, what's more, the people inside the USA expect to use that labor and goods for their own needs. If the US government issues so many dollars that it can outbid every private construction company for the labor of electricians, bricklayers, crane drivers, etc, and puts them all to work building federal buildings, there will be no private construction.

Indeed, every time the US government bids against the private sector for anything – labor, resources, land, finished goods – the price of that thing goes up. That's one way to get inflation (and it's why inflation hawks are so horny for slashing government spending – to get government bidders out of the auction for goods, services and labor).

But while the supply of goods for sale in US dollars is finite, it's not fixed. If the US government takes away some of the private sector's productive capacity in order to build interstates, train skilled professionals, treat sick people so they can go to work (or at least not burden their working-age relations), etc, then the supply of goods and services denominated in USD goes up, and that makes more fiscal space, meaning the government and the private sector can both consume more of those goods and services and still not bid against one another, thus creating no inflationary pressure.

Thus, taxes create liquidity for US dollars, but they do something else that's really important: they reduce the spending power of the private sector. If the US only ever spent money into existence and never taxed it out of existence, that would create incredible inflation, because the supply of dollars would go up and up and up, while the supply of goods and services you could buy with dollars would grow much more slowly, because the US government wouldn't have the looming threat of taxes with which to coerce us into doing the work to build highways, care for the sick, or teach people how to be doctors, engineers, etc.

Taxes coercively reduce the purchasing power of the private sector (they're a stick). T-bills do the same thing, but voluntarily (they the carrot).

A T-bill is a bargain offered by the US government: "Voluntarily park your money instead of spending it. That will create fiscal space for us to buy things without bidding against you, because it removes your money from circulation temporarily. That means we, the US government, can buy more stuff and use it to increase the amount of goods and services you can buy with your money when the bond matures, while keeping the supply of dollars and the supply of dollar-denominated stuff in rough equilibrium."

So a bond isn't a debt – it's more like a savings account. When you move money from your checking to your savings, you reduce its liquidity, meaning the bank can treat it as a reserve without worrying quite so much about you spending it. In exchange, the bank gives you some interest, as a carrot.

I know, I know, this is a big-ass wall of text. Congrats if you made it this far! But here's the upshot. We should tax billionaires, because it will reduce their economic power and thus their political power.

But we absolutely don't need to tax billionaires to have nice things. For example: the US government could hire every single unemployed person without creating inflationary pressure on wages, because inflation only happens when the US government tries to buy something that the private sector is also trying to buy, bidding up the price. To be "unemployed" is to have labor that the private sector isn't trying to buy. They're synonyms. By definition, the feds could put every unemployed person to work (say, training one another to be teachers, construction workers, etc – and then going out and taking care of the sick, addressing the housing crisis, etc etc) without buying any labor that the private sector is also trying to buy.

What's even more true than this is that our taxes are not going to reduce the national debt. That guest you had who said, "Even if we tax billionaires, we will never pay off the national debt,"" was 100% right, because the national debt equals all the money in circulation.

Which is why that guest was also very, very wrong when she said, "We will have to tax normal people too in order to pay off the debt." We don't have to pay off the debt. We shouldn't pay off the debt. We can't pay off the debt. Paying off the debt is another way of saying "eliminating the dollar."

Taxation isn't a way for the government to pay for things. Taxation is a way to create demand for US dollars, to convince people to sell goods and services to the US government, and to constrain private sector spending, which creates fiscal space for the US government to buy goods and services without bidding up their prices.

And in a "classical physics" sense, all of the preceding is kinda a way of saying, "Taxes pay for government spending." As a rough approximation, you can think of taxes like this and generally not get into trouble.

But when you start to make policy – when you contemplate when, whether, and how much to tax billionaires – you leave behind the crude, high-level approximation and descend into the nitty-gritty world of things as they are, and you need to jettison the convenience of the easy-to-grasp approximation.

If you're interested in learning more about this, you can tune into this TED Talk by Stephanie Kelton, formerly formerly advisor to the Senate Budget Committee chair, now back teaching and researching econ at University of Missouri at Kansas City:

https://www.ted.com/talks/stephanie_kelton_the_big_myth_of_government_deficits?subtitle=en

Stephanie has written a great book about this, The Deficit Myth:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/14/everybody-poops/#deficit-myth

There's a really good feature length doc about it too, called "Finding the Money":

https://findingmoneyfilm.com/

If you'd like to read more of my own work on this, here's a column I wrote about the nature of currency in light of Web3, crypto, etc:

https://locusmag.com/2022/09/cory-doctorow-moneylike/

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/21/we-can-have-nice-things/#public-funds-not-taxpayer-dollars

#pluralistic #mmt #modern monetary theory #warren buffett #podcasts #pj vogt #billionaires #economics #we can have nice things #taxes #taxing billionaires #the irs files #irs files #jesse eisenger #propublica

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worldofwardcraft · 2 years ago

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Finding safety in numbers.

June 1, 2023

After years of obsequious kowtowing to every one of Donald Trump's whims, leading Republicans seem to have finally figured out how to deal with the Party's bully in chief. Which is simply to band together and ignore him. Trump's method has always been to pick out one critic to insult, attack and accuse of being a "RINO" with the aim being to terrify the others. In the past this approach has worked to suppress opposition and has allowed him to drive from the GOP ranks such antagonists as Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger.

But as Republicans have (ever so gradually) come to recognize that the one-term, twice-impeached loser ex-president is an impediment to the Party's future electoral success, Trump's edicts may no longer have the effect they once had. Two recent incidents appear to suggest this.

In Texas, Republicans in the state legislature finally decided to impeach corrupt attorney general and staunch Trump ally Ken Paxton. Naturally, Trump was livid at the prospect.

Hopefully Republicans in the Texas House will agree that this is a very unfair process that should not be allowed to happen or proceed — I will fight you if it does.

Despite this threat, Paxton, who for the past eight years has been under indictment for felony securities fraud, was suspended from office following a vote on no less than 20 articles of impeachment ranging from bribery to abuse of public trust.

That same day, House Republicans cut a bipartisan, yet overwhelmingly Biden-friendly deal to raise the debt limit. This was clearly over Trump's previous objections as voiced during CNN's "town hall" interview: "I say to the Republicans out there — congressmen, senators — if they don’t give you massive cuts, you’re going to have to do a default."

Just the other day, he reiterated that Republicans “should not make a deal on the debt ceiling unless they get everything they want.” But as The Hill reported, Senate Republicans dismissed Trump’s incitement to default as something far too risky to seriously consider. Observed Texas senator John Cornyn, “Nobody thinks default is a good idea. Nobody.” And, sure enough, yesterday a majority of House Republicans ignored Trump's mush-brained advice by voting to raise the debt ceiling and not default on America’s obligations.

It's entirely possible these are merely situational disagreements with the Dear Leader and that GOPers will afterwards return to their habitual subservience. On the other hand, it might be evidence of Republicans belatedly realizing that to resist their orange albatross, they must all hang together. Or else hang separately at the ballot box come November.

#trump bullshit #ken paxton #debt ceiling

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redghnews · 2 years ago

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Livestream: Newsfile discusses Minority’s failed censure motion and Ghana’s debt exchange programme

This week, an attempt by the Minority Caucus in Parliament to pass a censure motion against embattled Finance Minister, Ken Ofori-Atta, fell to the ground. This was due to a walkout by the Majority, denying the house the required number to pass the said motion. Earlier though, the Majority had backed calls for the removal of the Finance Minister and therefore their refusal to recuse themselves…

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#Debt Exchange Programme #JoyNews Newsfile #Ken Ofori-Atta #Parliament of Ghana

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6xillaa · 5 months ago

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Ken sato x !reporter reader

oh, how he wishes you saw him as a man and not a boy.

cw for everything below: age difference (its used for the plot), suggestive (depending on who you ask)

thinking about kenji trying to impress reader in his games. the reader who is older, more mature and composed than him. who always comments on his arrogance in their articles or interviews. honestly, you were his harshest critic! it was your nickname amongst your co-workers as well. everyone knew you held hatred for him, and so did he. you frequently commented on his age and how it isn't smart to put so much faith into such a young and ignorant man and call him a living legend. "he isn't mature enough!" you always stated.

he hated that. his age doesn't make him better or worse than anyone else; he was just better because he was ken sato. but that didn't stop him from trying to act older, at least around you. because it was for you.

he's still so desperate to impress you. he'd do cooler moves in games, smile at the camera more in interviews, and, even though it seemed impossible, he became more prideful. but he couldn't help it! feeling your intense gaze on him as he walked onto the field or got into a stance, it was invigorating.

he especially got a rise out of seeing you roll your eyes, slumping back in your seat, crossing one leg over the other once you realized there was nothing for you to comment on his performance. it was perfect. so perfect that it would (sometimes, if he was lucky) get a small, ever so slight, smile from your lips. even better if he saw you nod your head in approval. so after one of (arguably) his best perfomances yet, one he spent weeks practicing just for his pretty little critic, he walks up to you, ready to soak in all the praise he believed he deserved.

"so... how was that y/n?" he teased, slamming himself into your personal space. it's his favorite place! if you thought it belonged to you, it was also his. "leave me alone, sato." you grumble, not wanting to admit your defeat to him. "it was good, wasn't it? right? righttt?" you push him away and begin walking away, eyes looking straight forward to avoid his gaze.

"oh c'mon, am i really that bad you can't even compliment me?" he pouted playfully, poking your oh so soft cheek, giving it a slight pinch. "fine, sato! you're a good player. you impressed me today, enough for me to even say im... proud of you." if you were to sneeze each time kenji's heart began to race, it'd look like you're having a seizure because of how fast it was.

"then why dont you show me how proud you are of me," this made you halt, snapping your head towards him. "how?" you asked, eyes focused on his lips that quirked up into a grin. "take me out to dinner. tommorow night. let me pick, and i'll consider the debt you owe me paid off." he smiled, taking a step back, allowing you to breathe again. when did you stop? "i'm not indebted to you anyway?" you retort, pushing him back even more to feel like you had the upper hand here. "yes, you are! all the times you've doubted my abilities! am i not worthy of getting an apology? a gift?" he said dramatically, placing his hand on his chest.

you sputter nothing in disbelief, until something clocks inside of your little brain. "are you asking me on a date, sato?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest, a shit eating grin on your face. he leans down to your level, which is when you register how much taller he was than you, and tilts his head to the side. "and if i am?" kenji's voice goes quieter. "you're not my type." you mock, mimicking his tone. "i like them older." to this, he laughs. "you like grandpa's y/n? you like them near their deathbed?" he joked, trying (and failing) to hide his laughter. "yeah, atleast they're gentlemen, unlike you."

"i may not be the most gentlemanly person on earth, but i am a gentle man in everything else."

oh! oh. now you were entering dangerous territory. not for him, for you. it was so clear what he was setting up as a trap, and yet, despite all the warning signs there was, opened your plump little lips and asked with the purest face ever (even though your thoughts were the complete opposite) "how can i know if youre lying or not?"

and kenji, oh the annoying ken sato who you would never admit admired, not even on your deathbed, stepped closer to you, leaned down near your ear, and said in the loudest voice, loud enough so that you cant mishear him, and quiet enough that no one else can, says

"why dont i show you?"

if your composure was a ship, it would be near the ocean floor, the reason for sinkage; ken sato. right when your last functioning braincell is able to deliver a quip before total failure, someone calls kenji over. "you have a interview remember?" it yelled. "coming!" he smiled sweetly, kissing your cheek ever so softly.

the immature baseball player might not be as immature as you thought...

(thanks for the support on the last one, so i thought i'd write another one because im desperate for this man, like he's desperate for the reader, lowk. also i didnt fully proofread itmso sorry if skme names r missing colors and whatnot)

#kenji sato #ken sato #ultraman #ultraman rising #ultraman ken sato #ken sato x reader #x reader #smut #gender neutral y/n #ken sato smut #kenji sato smut

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airyairyaucontraire · 11 months ago

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it's a bit like Queen's guitarist Brian May being an astrophysicist who's contributed to NASA projects

some people have two famous people's worth of talent and energy

Is no one going to be not normal with me about the fact that this guy:

YES. THIS MAN:

WROTE THESE?!

OR DO I HAVE TO BE NOT NORMAL ABOUT IT ALL BY MYSELF?!?!!?

#...well the top two are variant covers of the same book (note the same blurb from Bill Bryson appears)#and he wrote the foreword for the third that's all #like not to be a jerk about it but he just wrote one (well received) book about Erebus #don't know if that helps with your normality levels #michael palin #monty python #historical terror #erebus #brian may also campaigns to save foxes and badgers from hunting/culling #michael palin co-founded a centre for stammering children #(his dad had a stammer and also he felt like he needed to clear a karmic debt for playing Ken in A Fish Called Wanda)

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 months ago

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Your Guardian Angel - Tokita Ohma Love Story ( Kengan Ashura ) ~ On Going

Summary:

Once, a great a fighter, yet unknown to the world, fell prey to his first defeat, and he lay on the ground, pitiful and broken, rained down and with ribbons of crimson leaving his body. A shy angel coming home found him and brought him to safety, mending his wounds and tending to his broken spirit, until he had regained consciousness. As he opened his eyes, and witnessed the first person to care for him, he made a vow to always protect her, with his fists, to repay her kindness. It was only then that Tokita Ohma's newfound hope was discovered, and he was ready to achieve his goal in life - To be the very best fighter there is.

Chapter 1 - The Healing Angel Chapter 2 - Debt Chapter 3 - Promise Of Reunion Chapter 4 - The Ashura and The Kitsune Chapter 5 - The Forbidden Technique Chapter 6 - Replacement Chapter 7 - I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES! Chapter 8 - The Betrayal Chapter 9 - Let The Show Begin! Chapter 10 - Strengthening Friendship Bonds Chapter 11 - Am I Wrong? Chapter 12 - Foxes Have Fangs And Rabies Chapter 13 - New Rules, New Moves Chapter 14 - Battle Of The Psychos Chapter 15 - Distress Chapter 16 - Unlikely Best Friend Chapter 17 - The Kitsune Chapter 18 - Le Petit Empereur Chapter 19 - The Return Of The Queen Chapter 20 - Ken Doll and Barbie the CEO Chapter 21 - 👑Kengan de Huángdi👑 Chapter 22 - Crimson Spider Lily Chapter 23 - The Connector Chapter 24 - Wǒ Qīn'ài de Húxiān Huánghòu

#your guardian angel #kengan ashura #kengan ashura x oc #kengan ashura imagine #kengan ashura x reader #kengan omega x oc #kengan omega x reader #kengan omega imagine #kengan omega #tokita ohma x hasashi kisara #tokita ohma x oc #tokita ohma x reader #tokita ohma imagine #tokita ohma

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restinslices · 11 months ago

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Earth realm boys dating a popstar???? 👀👀👀👀

“Send me ideas guys” *proceeds to hit brain block* I didn’t know if you wanted the Lin Kuei Bros or Syzoth involved but imma add this little rule/guideline(?) so I don’t throw myself down the stairs. So the Earthrealm Boys will be Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, Raiden and Liu Kang. Lin Kuei Bros are Bi-Han, Kuai Liang and Tomas. You can also ask for specific characters but IMMA LET YALL KNOW RIGHT NOW y’all have a limit of FIVE people per post or I’m sleeping in traffic.

Johnny Cage

If you think Johnny Cage is anything other than excited, you're wrong.

There's no way he doesn't enjoy dating a pop star.

He'd tell you how great your names sound together. Johnny Cage the movie star and you the pop star.

He's probably asked you if your songs can be in his movies.

I think he'd be extremely supportive. Sometimes a little overbearing. Some people might enjoy him wanting to come to every show, while some people may say “dude, calm down”.

Your ringtone on his phone is one of your songs for sure

He also asks for some of your merch for free since ya know, debt 😀

If there's a dance that goes along with it, I can definitely see him learning it and showing you how good (bad) he is

Please let him be in your music videos. He's on his knees begging

He has such a huge ego, he'd probably say something like “you can't possibly turn down an A lister like me”

He's so President of your fanclub

He also posts exclusives of you on his social media

This may sound selfish but he's hoping your popularity will increase his. When we meet him, his fame is dying out so he's hoping being seen with you will remind people he exists

Don't get it misconstrued though. He adores you. He just can't help but have these thoughts

Probably makes you promise to dedicate a song to him too. Realistically he wants an album but he'll take whatever

He's so Ken coded to me and remember, Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him. You're his Barbie, regardless of gender

Kenshi Takahashi

Considering the fact that he's on the run from the Yakuza, uhhhh he's not the happiest

Is he proud? Yeah. But dating him puts a huge target on your back. Kenshi can hide. You, as a popstar, can't do that. You're always in the spotlight. And since the Yakuza got connections, they'd find out somehow.

He'd encourage you to take a break until things cool over. Only problem is he doesn't know when that'd be, and the music industry is competitive. You don't have time to be on a break. People could forget about you.

Under any other circumstance, he'd be happy for you. Not many people can make it in the music industry. There are tons of people who have big plans but settle for less.

In any other circumstance he'd listen to your songs, spread the word about your concerts, buy your merch cause he's not in debt, even attend a few concerts.

Now though, he's uptight and worried. Every concert you have he's worried will be your last. Any fan meet you have he's worried will end in death.

I honestly think he'd try to actively avoid anything that has to do with your career. It's a constant reminder that you're doing the exact opposite of what he's asking you to and you're putting yourself in danger. This could possibly cause a lot of arguments since he could come off as controlling when in reality he's worried and trying to be cautious

He's trying to avoid anything to do with your career but every playlist he has has your songs sprinkled throughout them

Overall he's proud of you but life has him pretty uptight. He'll be his normal self once he restores his clan.

Kung Lao

This cocky little shit is so hype his partner is famous

I can see him talking about your music with others like “my partner? They make music. You probably know them. I don't know yours though cause they're unknown. How are y'all paying the bills?”

You tell him not to do that but he continues anyway. Everyone had to know how awesome you were compared to them

Idk why I have this scene in my head of him buying your concert tickets to sell it again but make it more expensive. I legit don't know why but I couldn't ignore it.

Kung Lao has such a huge ego and your success does not help that. In fact, it makes it worse

How many people can say they're dating a popstar? Or anyone famous for that matter?

I can see him “helping” with lyrics but the shit he tries to add is dog shit so you do not add it, which he does not get.

“I have an ear for music” “An ear. Not a talent”

Starts a fanclub and forces Raiden to be involved

You'd think he's the popstar with how much pride he has when it comes to your career

Like Kenshi, he has a whole playlist dedicated to you and your songs are sprinkled throughout his other playlists

If you ask for his honest opinion on a song, he's gonna give you his honest opinion so be prepared. It's like asking a kid if a jacket makes you look fat.

He doesn't mean to be malicious. He just can't have you releasing bad shit. His approach just isn't the best but it's all with love

“What do you think about Bubblegum?” “The chorus isn't catchy at all if I'm being honest. You've definitely made better”

He'd help though by saying what he liked from other songs and it'd steer you in the right direction

Your career? No. Y'ALL career. UterUS type shit

In all seriousness, he's very happy that out of all the celebrities you could be with, you chose a non celebrity like him.

Raiden

Honestly I don't think anyone would even know you're dating. He's just too shy.

With Johnny, he's famous and has no shame so that's how people know you're together. The Yakuza is out here so that's how they know about you and Kenshi. Kung Lao is Kung Lao, idk how else to explain it. With Raiden though, I don't think he'd want your fans to know you're dating.

He's shy and also values privacy and you respect that. Your fans know you're dating someone just not who.

He probably has a second account he uses to stay up to date with fan discourse

Likes every edit of you and shows you them.

“Were you looking these up?” “I… don't know what you could possibly mean”

I don't think he's a big concert person. I don't know why. At least not a huge, no personal space type of concert. So I think he'd do other things to support like using that second account to promote your activities, reposting edits, and buying your stuff.

Knowing his luck, that second account for privacy and being sneaky would end up getting fans attention. He'd become the main update page everyone goes to. Guess he wasn't sneaky enough

Probably asks you to sing to him when it's quiet

Has bought a poster of you and forgot to take it down when you came over

“Kung Lao put that up” “Mhm, sure”

He has two hats. His normal hat and a hat that has stickers of you on it. Kung Lao or Johnny probably did it to tease him but he kept it anyway

Dedicate a song to him and watch how flustered he gets. He'd be so honored

If you had an MV and there was a love interest in it, he wouldn't wanna be jealous but it'd happen.

Everytime he sees you perform or hears you, he falls deeper in love. Like Kung Lao, he's very happy you picked him to be your love and muse

Liu Kang

He probably saw this coming based on your life in the past timeline

Knowing how the past timelines were though, your life was probably chaotic and your music career was probably disturbed by the constant threats

Seeing you just having fun and making music in this timeline would make him extremely happy and proud of himself for creating such a peaceful timeline (at first)

Liu Kang has glowing eyes so there's a chance concerts aren't happening, but I think he'd still stream your music like everyone else

Would probably try to keep you far away from any disturbances. When he takes his champions to Outworld, he makes up a lie. He doesn't want what you're passionate about disturbed at all

Supportive in the sense that he's always going to say “yes” to whatever ideas you have. A breakup song? Great idea. A fun party song? Awesome. A fan meet? Sounds fun.

He genuinely just wants you happy this time and music makes you happy.

You could talk him into using his fire as some background effect as long as others won't see

He talks you into doing smaller performances at Madam Bo's. You're spying on Raiden and Kung Lao without even knowing

Whenever you find out about the shit storm going on, he does not want you involved and will say so. He wants you to focus on your passion and let him take care of it. Whether you do or not is up to you

After all that though you'd probably end up making music for Johnny's movie about shit that happened. He doesn't disapprove but thinks you can do better than make a soundtrack for Johnny 'Big Mouth’ Cage

Secret fanboy. Forced to act all serious all the time but he's mumbling your lyrics under his breath, even if it's super cutesy.

He's just so happy for you. I know I keep repeating it but you probably DIED in the past timeline or some shit so seeing you happy and just living? It shows his efforts for peace paid off.

I usually say smth after but idk what to say. I wanna start art commissions so bad but half bodies are kicking my ass. I’m finna start tweaking fr

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #johnny cage #johnny cage mk1 #johnny cage x reader #kenshi takahashi #kenshi takahashi mk1 #kenshi takashi x reader #kung lao #kung lao mk1 #kung lao x reader #raiden #raiden mk1 #raiden mortal kombat #raiden x reader #liu kang #liu kang mk1 #liu kang x reader

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semi-senioritis · 1 year ago

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LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

GOKURAKUGAI TO RELEASE IN SPRING 2024!!? FIRST VOL ON APRIL 16!!!!!!

#gokurakugai sanbandori no ken #gokurakugai #the gokuraku district's third avenue incident #manga #yuto sano #spending money paying off my student debt loans < buying the first vol of Gokurakugai

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enoughtotemptme · 1 month ago

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a year and a day

Everyone knows that if you want to make a deal, you go to Eddie Munson.

Desperate to be rid of Jason once and for all, Chrissy makes a deal with the local demon. The consequences are…not what she expected. A story of friendship, love, and paying one’s debts.

Chapters: 1/13 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Relationship: Chrissy Cunningham/Eddie Munson Tags: Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Demon Deals, POV Chrissy Cunningham, Friendship, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Found Family, Roommates, Domestic Fluff, 1990s, Caretaking, Pining

Chapter One: June

Everyone knows that if you want to make a deal, you go to Eddie Munson.

---

It takes until the rehearsal, when Jason says, “I do” with a look on his face of complete and utter triumph, that Chrissy realizes, quite suddenly, that she doesn’t think she wants to do this.

“And do you, Chrissy Elizabeth Cunningham,” the pastor drones in the echoing hall of the church, “take this man, Jason Harrison Carver, to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do you part?”

She’d told him she didn’t want obey in the vows. He’d argued that it was traditional, and he wanted to get married with the same vows both of their parents had.

“Angel. Chrissy.”

Chrissy swallows hard, words sticking in her throat as Jason prompts her. The smile on his face doesn’t disappear, but his eyes grow flinty. His hands start to hurt on hers.

“I…” she manages with a wince, but the rest still refuses to come out.

“Chrissy!” her mother hisses from the front pew; her face, when Chrissy glances over, is rapidly turning the color of the inside of a watermelon. Her father looks uneasy, and her brother is glancing between all of the adults with confusion written all over his face.

Jason turns his broad, All-American grin on the pastor and says in a jocular tone, “A little nervous. All brides are, right? Excuse us for a moment.”

He drags her into the storage room off the side of the hall, where boxes of communion wafers and industrial-sized pallets of juice crowd the walls.

“What the hell, Chris?” he demands, shutting the door with a small slam that belies the calm he’d been showing to the others.

“I—I’m not sure that…” Chrissy winces again, tugging at her hand. “Jason, stop. That hurts.”

He doesn’t let go. His grip only grows tighter, squeezing until it feels like her bones are grinding against one another.

“What the hell do you mean, not sure? We’ve been waiting for this for four years. I’ve been waiting for you for four damn years,” he hisses, conveniently ignoring the fact that, while he was ‘waiting,’ he’d enjoyed the company of all kinds of other women. He hadn’t exactly made a secret of it, calling on the phone only a few months into her freshman year to confess and announce all in one breath that a guy has needs, Chrissy, angel; you understand.

Chrissy had been more discreet about her own needs, though she hadn’t allowed herself to give much thought as to why she’d kept it from Jason.

“I know,” Chrissy says. “I know that, it’s just—I really don’t like the vows, Jason. I told you that.”

He scoffs. His blonde hair is perfectly parted, not one strand out of place. He has a Ken-doll perfection that she’d always found appealing, but now it’s at odds with the puce color he’s gaining in his face.

“It’s just words, Chrissy. I told you we should do the traditional ones and you agreed!”

“No,” she says, “I didn’t. Words matter, Jason, and—”

“Why does it matter?” he interrupts, stepping closer still. Her wrist and hand are aching; his cologne, usually pleasant, begins to make her nauseous as he puts every inch of their height difference toward making her feel small. “You and me, we’ve always been on the same page. It shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“If I’m going to promise something, I want to feel comfortable with it—”

“Then hurry up and get comfortable,” Jason snaps. “They’re the vows we’re using. I’m the man, and you’re the wife, and this is what we’ve been waiting all this time for.”

In the traditional vows, the man doesn’t vow to obey the woman. He promises instead to worship her. It sounds laughable to her now. Vow or no vow, he’ll never worship her.

Chrissy looks into the eyes of Jason Carver, the man she’d said yes to four years ago when it had felt romantic to promise her future to her high school boyfriend.

Even knowing they’d have to spend the majority of her undergraduate degree states apart, she’d felt so adult and worldly, going off to college engaged. True, they’d talked less and less as the semesters progressed—they’d talked on the phone every week, at first, and then every other, and then once a month until they only spoke when they saw each other in Hawkins on school breaks.

But Chrissy’s future marriage to Jason was part of the facts of her universe: psych paper due on Tuesday, and she’s going to marry Jason after graduation. Avoid the inedible dining hall meatloaf, and she’s going to marry Jason after graduation. Bring James or Brian or Katie home for the night, and she’s going to marry Jason after graduation.

It was so inevitable a truth that it seemed inconsequential, the way you know an orange falling from a tree will land on the ground but you’re hardly going to worry about gravity.

Until you’re the one falling, that is. And that’s what it had felt like, ever since graduation. Chrissy had come back to Hawkins and squeezed herself into her old life like it was a dress a size too small—church on Sundays, stingy dinner plates and comments about the freshman fifteen, wet mouth on her neck and a cool, clammy hand clamped possessively around hers—and spent the last month feeling that sickening rush in her stomach. Like she’d been on an elevator falling from the hundredth floor, waiting for impact.

In the space of a single breath, Chrissy finally understands why.

She can’t marry him.

But when she looks into the eyes of Jason Carver, sees the rage narrowing them and feels the punishing grip his fist still has around hers, she knows, deep in her bones, that he’ll never let her go.

“You’re right,” Chrissy says eventually, the words tasting sour. “I’m just…nervous. But you’re right. We’ve been waiting a long time for this.”

“Good. Jeez, Chris. Couldn’t you have gotten the hysterics over with before the damn rehearsal? What, are you PMSing or something?” Jason grumbles, but his hackles are coming down and his grip is growing looser.

She bites her tongue, then makes herself say, “Maybe that’s it. It is close to that time of the month.”

He grimaces, then pulls her back toward the door. “Come on. You’ve already caused a scene; let’s get this done.”

Bracing herself with a deep, silent breath while his back is turned, Chrissy goes back out into the church, pastes a smile on her face in front of the pastor, and says, “I do.”

Then, as the rehearsal wraps up and their families filter out of the church to drive to Enzo’s for the dinner, she places her right hand on Jason’s shoulder and murmurs in his ear.

“I think you were right about the PMS. I’m having a feminine issue,” Chrissy tells him. Her hand is still red; the marks will deepen to a bruise by tomorrow. “I need to run to the store for some stuff. Drop me off and I’ll meet you at Enzo’s?”

He rolls his eyes and tugs her up against him for a kiss. “Told you. Hurry up, Chris.”

She smiles at him, pecks him on the lips one more time. “I will.”

On the street a block over from Melvald’s, Chrissy shuts the passenger door and waves cheerfully as he drives on, then walks down the sidewalk toward the cross street that would take her to the general store. She listens to the roar of the engine, the gradual dissipation of sound as Jason drives the opposite direction to Enzo’s.

The second she rounds the corner, she’s running for the woods.

[click here to read the rest of chapter one on ao3]

#hellcheer fic #hellcheer fanfic #eddissy fic #eddissy fanfic #hellcheer #stranger things #enoughtotemptme writes fic #yes hello it's been a while here is a story #i have been working on this for LITERAL years #yes eddie is a demon no not much else has changed #over two years ago the very first line popped into my head and then this happened

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chaifootsteps · 28 days ago

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oh that IG post made me see red. She has never done anything for anyone. She’s hurt so many people, funny how most of them were trans. She only creates for herself so she can “own haterz” she hates women who aren’t famous. She as never struggled for anything even as a woman, she always handed everything to her and everyone kept saying “yes” the ones who had to fight are the ones she hurt and tried to destroy like Tracy, Ashely, Erin, Ken and so many others. She has an army of parasocial fans as that would do anything for her and now Jeff bezos. Also fuck off this isn’t about you, you’re not gonna help anyone that isn’t you, how many employees were doing emergency commissions because they couldn’t afford rent? Did she donate? Did she boast their commissions? What the fuck did she do that helps women and queer people?

The only thing Viv's ever done for other women is try to actively tear them down. She's torn down other queer people, trans and nobinary people. She's left animators who had the misfortune of working for her in debt. She's not part of the solution, she's part of the problem.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #vivziepop critical

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wuishu · 1 year ago

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She's everything. He's just Ken

(I love the Barbie movie so much)

“WHAT THE FUCK? I AM DONE WITH THIS GAME. I don't wanna do this anymore!” he whined while covering his face in frustration. Despite his efforts to work his way out of his enormous debt by streaming another truck sim, he still failed miserably. He was not really angry, he was just putting on a show. He was also getting tired, and doing this stunt made his end stream funnier.

“Alright, I’m done. I’ll read your donations, and then end stream.”

Finishing his late-night stream, he couldn't wait to just rest with his girlfriend on a couch, watching movies until their eyes fell. He sighed and walked towards your recording room. You were currently streaming a game that wasn't a sweat-inducing game, but a chill game. Talking to chat while reading donations, you were getting comfortable when you heard your door open.

“I’m still streaming.” You moved your mic away from your mouth and looked at Schlatt. He hummed, indicating that he heard you. Your relationship was public, but people seeing you together in a stream was new to you. He was different on his channel, the usual crazy, anger-issued guy who has odd humor; he showed your viewer that he’s different when you're together.

“Hey, Y/N’s chat” He waved his hand at your camera and smile, he found a wooden chair near you and pushed it next to you so they would see him on your stream. The chair was a bit small compared to you, but he still looks bigger. “What are you playing right now?” he asked you, handing him your other bud to let him hear the relaxing background music.

You slowly swerved your chair, so you could be close to him. “It’s hidden folks. It’s like where's Waldo but listen” You pressed the chest and a man used his voice to imitate the sound of a chest opening. “Oh wow, not weird at all” he smiled

“It’s not weird, I think it’s cute that they're using their vocals for the game” He nodded and looked at your monitor, trying to help you find the things that you needed to win. You on the other hand, watched your chat roll looking at what they thought. He held your hand and moved the mouse to hover over a person. “There, that little shit hiding in the bush.”

‘Well, you look at that chat. What a helpful man”

After about half an hour has passed, he was getting so tired of helping you that you gave up and talked to your chat. Slowly he laid his head on your shoulder and also answering some of chats questions. You placed your hand on his hair and patted it like a cat. “Yeah, we wanted to watch the Barbie movie, but our free time rarely collides.” You didn't realize that Schlatt was falling asleep because of how soothing your voice was and how gentle you are at massaging his scalp.

: Your ken is falling asleep

You slowly looked at your screen that opened your stream. You can see his eyes closed while he is silently snoring. “My ken is asleep… Alright, chat. I think we're gonna head out. I’ll see you guys on Monday,” you whispered.

You woke Schlatt up to let him know that the stream had ended, he walked to your shared bathroom and started brushing his teeth. After doing everything he needed he lay down, and made himself feel comfortable in bed. You did your nightly routine while scrolling through Twitter, you noticed a screenshot of your stream earlier and a picture of Ken placing his head on Barbie's shoulder and clinging onto her for dear life and the caption was “They're literally Barbie and Ken”. You giggled while brushing your hair.

"Babe, are you awake?” he hummed quietly. You got on the bed and suddenly a hand was wrapped around your waist.

“We should totally watch the new movie Barbie tomorrow.”

#schlatt #jschlatt #schlatt x reader #schlatt x you #jschlatt x reader #idk man #jschlatt fanfiction #jschlatt imagine #schlatt fanfic

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suchine-toki · 6 months ago

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(A Totally Serious) Gintama Dads Tier List

Why does this series have so many dads help-

Isaburo: Despite his outwardly stern demeanor, he understands Nobume's past traumas and helps her cope with them, while also educating her on the harsh realities they face. He named her after his deceased daughter and cared for her as such, even texting her frequently and buying her donuts.

Shouyo: He's a father figure for several characters in the series, demonstrating unwavering love and acceptance, and provided a supportive environment for them to grow. His memory and teachings remain a guiding force for his students. Reason for losing points: He left his kids concussed and dumb.

Gintoki: He consistently shows protectiveness towards Kagura and Shinpachi, often putting their safety and well-being above his own. He's playful with them, teaches them important life lessons, and accepts them unconditionally. Despite his flaws, Kagura and Shinpachi love him very much. Reason for losing points: Has several mental health issues and his feet stink.

Zenzou's dad: He became a father figure to many children as he taught ninja arts and played kick the can with them. Many of his students attended his funeral, showing how loved he was. Reason for losing points: Sold Zenzou's JUMP collection to buy p*rn.

Matsugorou: Also known as Musashi, he's Ikumatsu's dad. It's shown that despite their poverty they were very happy together, until he lost his memory trying to save a boy from drowning. He saves her daughter and reconnects with her. Reason for losing points: He wears a jacket and fundoshi.

Jirochou: He abandoned his daughter Pirako because he felt compelled to protect what his friend Tatsugorou left behind after he died. His subsequent actions reflect a desire for redemption and a willingness to spend more time with her. Reason for losing points: Was too chicken to have a threesome with Tatsugorou and Otose.

Abuto: He's not the stepdad, he's the dad that stepped up. Although he's not exactly a parental figure to Kamui, he has been by his side since he was a kid and cares about him a lot. Kamui was even shown to hesitate attacking him. Reason for losing points: He's losing his will to live.

Shimura Ken: Not much is known about him, only that he died leaving Tae and Shinpachi with a huge debt. Although he cannot be blamed for dying from an illness, he didn't take any measures to prevent his children from suffering because of him. Reason for losing points: His name is a parody of a comedy actor.

Koshinori: Since the heir of the Yagyuu clan had to be a man, instead of changing the rules, he forced Kyuubei to conform to that identity. He later decides to let her live as she sees fit. Reason for losing points: His height is 122 cm (4'0").

Umibouzu: He has a complex relationship with Kamui and Kagura. His absence leaves a void in their lives and creates feelings of abandonment, even if he'd reasons to do so. His two children ended up finding substitute father figures elsewhere. Reason for losing points: Stopped a 3 day fight to take a dump.

D aka Betrayed their students tier

Jiraia: He takes on the role of Tsukuyo's mentor and trainer, but his influence extended beyond that, manipulating her emotions and exploiting her vulnerabilities. Their relationship becomes increasingly abusive and toxic until she breaks free of it. Reason for losing points: Bad skincare habits.

Utsuro: Despite his mentorship role, he manipulates his students' emotions and desires for his own ends, creating emotional turmoil within them as they uncover his true intentions and the extent of his malevolence. Reason for losing points: His existence.

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