#This Ken is in debt

[strawberrycartt]

Treating it like any other photoshoot 👍✨

[heckyeahponyscans]

So apparently Evermore Park has finally shut down.

The owner of Evermore, Ken Bretschneider put out a vague statement about unforeseen challenges, but the guy who owns the land which Evermore sits on (Brandon Fugal) was like "Yeah, they hadn't paid rent since December so I'm evicting them".

[political-us]

Censorship in the /DaveRamsey reddit group.

These are the only two posts I made. No other comments or posts. Both posts were taken down and I have been officially banned.

[myrlin]

hey, your writing is kinda neat and so are you. maybe i'm sleep deprived but here i am being nice to you and reminding you that you are very talented writer and i'm very proud of how far you've come since joining this hellsite three years ago (ur welcome) and that i........................ love you and am excited to marry you, but u already knew that. OKAY BYE, MAKE KEN, LOVE YOU.

OH OKAY-

[roboyomo]

GOT THROUGH DEBT COLLECTOR AND PIN-EYE. MY SPECULATION ABOUT DEBT COLLECTOR WAS RIGHT

BUT OH MY FUFKING GOD IS PIN-EYE SPECTACULAR💥💥💥 ANOTHER FUCKING BANGER SONG

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Retiring the US debt would retire the US dollar

THIS WEDNESDAY (October 23) at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, GEORGIA, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

One of the most consequential series of investigative journalism of this decade was the Propublica series that Jesse Eisinger helmed, in which Eisinger and colleagues analyzed a trove of leaked IRS tax returns for the richest people in America:

https://www.propublica.org/series/the-secret-irs-files

The Secret IRS Files revealed the fact that many of America's oligarchs pay no tax at all. Some of them even get subsidies intended for poor families, like Jeff Bezos, whose tax affairs are so scammy that he was able to claim to be among the working poor and receive a federal Child Tax Credit, a $4,000 gift from the American public to one of the richest men who ever lived:

https://www.propublica.org/article/the-secret-irs-files-trove-of-never-before-seen-records-reveal-how-the-wealthiest-avoid-income-tax

As important as the numbers revealed by the Secret IRS Files were, I found the explanations even more interesting. The 99.9999% of us who never make contact with the secretive elite wealth management and tax cheating industry know, in the abstract, that there's something scammy going on in those esoteric cults of wealth accumulation, but we're pretty vague on the details. When I pondered the "tax loopholes" that the rich were exploiting, I pictured, you know, long lists of equations salted with Greek symbols, completely beyond my ken.

But when Propublica's series laid these secret tactics out, I learned that they were incredibly stupid ruses, tricks so thin that the only way they could possibly fool the IRS is if the IRS just didn't give a shit (and they truly didn't – after decades of cuts and attacks, the IRS was far more likely to audit a family earning less than $30k/year than a billionaire).

This has become a somewhat familiar experience. If you read the Panama Papers, the Paradise Papers, Luxleaks, Swissleaks, or any of the other spectacular leaks from the oligarch-industrial complex, you'll have seen the same thing: the rich employ the most tissue-thin ruses, and the tax authorities gobble them up. It's like the tax collectors don't want to fight with these ultrawealthy monsters whose net worth is larger than most nations, and merely require some excuse to allow them to cheat, anything they can scribble in the box explaining why they are worth billions and paying little, or nothing, or even entitled to free public money from programs intended to lift hungry children out of poverty.

It was this experience that fueled my interest in forensic accounting, which led to my bestselling techno-crime-thriller series starring the two-fisted, scambusting forensic accountant Martin Hench, who made his debut in 2022's Red Team Blues:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865847/red-team-blues

The double outrage of finding out how badly the powerful are ripping off the rest of us, and how stupid and transparent their accounting tricks are, is at the center of Chokepoint Capitalism, the book about how tech and entertainment companies steal from creative workers (and how to stop them) that Rebecca Giblin and I co-authored, which also came out in 2022:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

Now that I've written four novels and a nonfiction book about finance scams, I think I can safely call myself a oligarch ripoff hobbyist. I find this stuff endlessly fascinating, enraging, and, most importantly, energizing. So naturally, when PJ Vogt devoted two episodes of his excellent Search Engine podcast to the subject last week, I gobbled them up:

https://www.searchengine.show/listen/search-engine-1/why-is-it-so-hard-to-tax-billionaires-part-1

I love the way Vogt unpacks complex subjects. Maybe you've had the experience of following a commentator and admiring their knowledge of subjects you're unfamiliar with, only have them cover something you're an expert in and find them making a bunch of errors (this is basically the experience of using an LLM, which can give you authoritative seeming answers when the subject is one you're unfamiliar with, but which reveals itself to be a Bullshit Machine as soon as you ask it about something whose lore you know backwards and forwards).

Well, Vogt has covered many subjects that I am an expert in, and I had the opposite experience, finding that even when he covers my own specialist topics, I still learn something. I don't always agree with him, but always find those disagreements productive in that they make me clarify my own interests. (Full disclosure: I was one of Vogt's experts on his previous podcast, Reply All, talking about the inkjet printerization of everything:)

https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all/brho54

Vogt's series on taxing billionaires was no exception. His interview subjects (including Eisinger) were very good, and he got into a lot of great detail on the leaker himself, Charles Littlejohn, who plead guilty and was sentenced to five years:

https://jacobin.com/2023/10/charles-littlejohn-irs-whistleblower-pro-publica-tax-evasion-prosecution

Vogt also delved into the history of the federal income tax, how it was sold to the American public, and a rather hilarious story of Republican Congressional gamesmanship that backfired spectacularly. I'd never encountered this stuff before and boy was it interesting.

But then Vogt got into the nature of taxation, and its relationship to the federal debt, another subject I've written about extensively, and that's where one of those productive disagreements emerged. Yesterday, I set out to write him a brief note unpacking this objection and ended up writing a giant essay (sorry, PJ!), and this morning I found myself still thinking about it. So I thought, why not clean up the email a little and publish it here?

As much as I enjoyed these episodes, I took serious exception to one – fairly important! – aspect of your analysis: the relationship of taxes to the national debt.

There's two ways of approaching this question, which I think of as akin to classical vs quantum physics. In the orthodox, classical telling, the government taxes us to pay for programs. This is crudely true at 10,000 feet and as a rule of thumb, it's fine in many cases. But on the ground – at the quantum level, in this analogy – the opposite is actually going on.

There is only one source of US dollars: the US Treasury (you can try and make your own dollars, but they'll put you in prison for a long-ass time if they catch you.).

If dollars can only originate with the US government, then it follows that:

a) The US government doesn't need our taxes to get US dollars (for the same reason Apple doesn't need us to redeem our iTunes cards to get more iTunes gift codes);

b) All the dollars in circulation start with spending by the US government (taxes can't be paid until dollars are first spent by their issuer, the US government); and

c) That spending must happen before anyone has been taxed, because the way dollars enter circulation is through spending.

You've probably heard people say, "Government spending isn't like household spending." That is obviously true: households are currency users while governments are currency issuers.

But the implications of this are very interesting.

First, the total dollars in circulation are:

a) All the dollars the government has ever spent into existence funding programs, transferring to the states, and paying its own employees, minus

b) All the dollars that the government has taxed away from us, and subsequently annihilated.

(Because governments spend money into existence and tax money out of existence.)

The net of dollars the government spends in a given year minus the dollars the government taxes out of existence that year is called "the national deficit." The total of all those national deficits is called "the national debt." All the dollars in circulation today are the result of this national debt. If the US government didn't have a debt, there would be no dollars in circulation.

The only way to eliminate the national debt is to tax every dollar in circulation out of existence. Because the national debt is "all the dollars the government has ever spent," minus "all the dollars the government has ever taxed." In accounting terms, "The US deficit is the public's credit."

When billionaires like Warren Buffet tell Jesse Eisinger that he doesn't pay tax because "he thinks his money is better spent on charitable works rather than contributing to an insignificant reduction of the deficit," he is, at best, technically wrong about why we tax, and at worst, he's telling a self-serving lie. The US government doesn't need to eliminate its debt. Doing so would be catastrophic. "Retiring the US debt" is the same thing as "retiring the US dollar."

So if the USG isn't taxing to retire its debts, why does it tax? Because when the USG – or any other currency issuer – creates a token, that token is, on its face, useless. If I offered to sell you some "Corycoins," you would quite rightly say that Corycoins have no value and thus you don't need any of them.

For a token to be liquid – for it to be redeemable for valuable things, like labor, goods and services – there needs to be something that someone desires that can be purchased with that token. Remember when Disney issued "Disney dollars" that you could only spend at Disney theme parks? They traded more or less at face value, even outside of Disney parks, because everyone knew someone who was planning a Disney vacation and could make use of those Disney tokens.

But if you go down to a local carny and play skeeball and win a fistful of tickets, you'll find it hard to trade those with anyone outside of the skeeball counter, especially once you leave the carny. There's two reasons for this:

1) The things you can get at the skeeball counter are pretty crappy so most people don't desire them; and ' 2) Most people aren't planning on visiting the carny, so there's no way for them to redeem the skeeball tickets even if they want the stuff behind the counter (this is also why it's hard to sell your Iranian rials if you bring them back to the US – there's not much you can buy in Iran, and even someone you wanted to buy something there, it's really hard for US citizens to get to Iran).

But when a sovereign currency issuer – one with the power of the law behind it – demands a tax denominated in its own currency, they create demand for that token. Everyone desires USD because almost everyone in the USA has to pay taxes in USD to the government every year, or they will go to prison. That fact is why there is such a liquid market for USD. Far more people want USD to pay their taxes than will ever want Disney dollars to spend on Dole Whips, and even if you are hoping to buy a Dole Whip in Fantasyland, that desire is far less important to you than your desire not to go to prison for dodging your taxes.

Even if you're not paying taxes, you know someone who is. The underlying liquidity of the USD is inextricably tied to taxation, and that's the first reason we tax. By issuing a token – the USD – and then laying on a tax that can only be paid in that token (you cannot pay federal income tax in anything except USD – not crypto, not euros, not rials – only USD), the US government creates demand for that token.

And because the US government is the only source of dollars, the US government can purchase anything that is within its sovereign territory. Anything denominated in US dollars is available to the US government: the labor of every US-residing person, the land and resources in US territory, and the goods produced within the US borders. The US doesn't need to tax us to buy these things (remember, it makes new money by typing numbers into a spreadsheet at the Federal Reserve). But it does tax us, and if the taxes it levies don't equal the spending it's making, it also sells us T-bills to make up the shortfall.

So the US government kinda acts like classical physics is true, that is, like it is a household and thus a currency user, and not a currency issuer. If it spends more than it taxes, it "borrows" (issues T-bills) to make up the difference. Why does it do this? To fight inflation.

The US government has no monetary constraints, it can make as many dollars as it cares to (by typing numbers into a spreadsheet). But the US government is fiscally constrained, because it can only buy things that are denominated in US dollars (this is why it's such a big deal that global oil is priced in USD – it means the US government can buy oil from anywhere, not only the USA, just by typing numbers into a spreadsheet).

The supply of dollars is infinite, but the supply of labor and goods denominated in US dollars is finite, and, what's more, the people inside the USA expect to use that labor and goods for their own needs. If the US government issues so many dollars that it can outbid every private construction company for the labor of electricians, bricklayers, crane drivers, etc, and puts them all to work building federal buildings, there will be no private construction.

Indeed, every time the US government bids against the private sector for anything – labor, resources, land, finished goods – the price of that thing goes up. That's one way to get inflation (and it's why inflation hawks are so horny for slashing government spending – to get government bidders out of the auction for goods, services and labor).

But while the supply of goods for sale in US dollars is finite, it's not fixed. If the US government takes away some of the private sector's productive capacity in order to build interstates, train skilled professionals, treat sick people so they can go to work (or at least not burden their working-age relations), etc, then the supply of goods and services denominated in USD goes up, and that makes more fiscal space, meaning the government and the private sector can both consume more of those goods and services and still not bid against one another, thus creating no inflationary pressure.

Thus, taxes create liquidity for US dollars, but they do something else that's really important: they reduce the spending power of the private sector. If the US only ever spent money into existence and never taxed it out of existence, that would create incredible inflation, because the supply of dollars would go up and up and up, while the supply of goods and services you could buy with dollars would grow much more slowly, because the US government wouldn't have the looming threat of taxes with which to coerce us into doing the work to build highways, care for the sick, or teach people how to be doctors, engineers, etc.

Taxes coercively reduce the purchasing power of the private sector (they're a stick). T-bills do the same thing, but voluntarily (they the carrot).

A T-bill is a bargain offered by the US government: "Voluntarily park your money instead of spending it. That will create fiscal space for us to buy things without bidding against you, because it removes your money from circulation temporarily. That means we, the US government, can buy more stuff and use it to increase the amount of goods and services you can buy with your money when the bond matures, while keeping the supply of dollars and the supply of dollar-denominated stuff in rough equilibrium."

So a bond isn't a debt – it's more like a savings account. When you move money from your checking to your savings, you reduce its liquidity, meaning the bank can treat it as a reserve without worrying quite so much about you spending it. In exchange, the bank gives you some interest, as a carrot.

I know, I know, this is a big-ass wall of text. Congrats if you made it this far! But here's the upshot. We should tax billionaires, because it will reduce their economic power and thus their political power.

But we absolutely don't need to tax billionaires to have nice things. For example: the US government could hire every single unemployed person without creating inflationary pressure on wages, because inflation only happens when the US government tries to buy something that the private sector is also trying to buy, bidding up the price. To be "unemployed" is to have labor that the private sector isn't trying to buy. They're synonyms. By definition, the feds could put every unemployed person to work (say, training one another to be teachers, construction workers, etc – and then going out and taking care of the sick, addressing the housing crisis, etc etc) without buying any labor that the private sector is also trying to buy.

What's even more true than this is that our taxes are not going to reduce the national debt. That guest you had who said, "Even if we tax billionaires, we will never pay off the national debt,"" was 100% right, because the national debt equals all the money in circulation.

Which is why that guest was also very, very wrong when she said, "We will have to tax normal people too in order to pay off the debt." We don't have to pay off the debt. We shouldn't pay off the debt. We can't pay off the debt. Paying off the debt is another way of saying "eliminating the dollar."

Taxation isn't a way for the government to pay for things. Taxation is a way to create demand for US dollars, to convince people to sell goods and services to the US government, and to constrain private sector spending, which creates fiscal space for the US government to buy goods and services without bidding up their prices.

And in a "classical physics" sense, all of the preceding is kinda a way of saying, "Taxes pay for government spending." As a rough approximation, you can think of taxes like this and generally not get into trouble.

But when you start to make policy – when you contemplate when, whether, and how much to tax billionaires – you leave behind the crude, high-level approximation and descend into the nitty-gritty world of things as they are, and you need to jettison the convenience of the easy-to-grasp approximation.

If you're interested in learning more about this, you can tune into this TED Talk by Stephanie Kelton, formerly formerly advisor to the Senate Budget Committee chair, now back teaching and researching econ at University of Missouri at Kansas City:

https://www.ted.com/talks/stephanie_kelton_the_big_myth_of_government_deficits?subtitle=en

Stephanie has written a great book about this, The Deficit Myth:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/14/everybody-poops/#deficit-myth

There's a really good feature length doc about it too, called "Finding the Money":

https://findingmoneyfilm.com/

If you'd like to read more of my own work on this, here's a column I wrote about the nature of currency in light of Web3, crypto, etc:

https://locusmag.com/2022/09/cory-doctorow-moneylike/

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/21/we-can-have-nice-things/#public-funds-not-taxpayer-dollars

[worldofwardcraft]

Finding safety in numbers.

June 1, 2023

After years of obsequious kowtowing to every one of Donald Trump's whims, leading Republicans seem to have finally figured out how to deal with the Party's bully in chief. Which is simply to band together and ignore him. Trump's method has always been to pick out one critic to insult, attack and accuse of being a "RINO" with the aim being to terrify the others. In the past this approach has worked to suppress opposition and has allowed him to drive from the GOP ranks such antagonists as Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger.

But as Republicans have (ever so gradually) come to recognize that the one-term, twice-impeached loser ex-president is an impediment to the Party's future electoral success, Trump's edicts may no longer have the effect they once had. Two recent incidents appear to suggest this.

In Texas, Republicans in the state legislature finally decided to impeach corrupt attorney general and staunch Trump ally Ken Paxton. Naturally, Trump was livid at the prospect.

Hopefully Republicans in the Texas House will agree that this is a very unfair process that should not be allowed to happen or proceed — I will fight you if it does.

Despite this threat, Paxton, who for the past eight years has been under indictment for felony securities fraud, was suspended from office following a vote on no less than 20 articles of impeachment ranging from bribery to abuse of public trust.

That same day, House Republicans cut a bipartisan, yet overwhelmingly Biden-friendly deal to raise the debt limit. This was clearly over Trump's previous objections as voiced during CNN's "town hall" interview: "I say to the Republicans out there — congressmen, senators — if they don’t give you massive cuts, you’re going to have to do a default."

Just the other day, he reiterated that Republicans “should not make a deal on the debt ceiling unless they get everything they want.” But as The Hill reported, Senate Republicans dismissed Trump’s incitement to default as something far too risky to seriously consider. Observed Texas senator John Cornyn, “Nobody thinks default is a good idea. Nobody.” And, sure enough, yesterday a majority of House Republicans ignored Trump's mush-brained advice by voting to raise the debt ceiling and not default on America’s obligations.

It's entirely possible these are merely situational disagreements with the Dear Leader and that GOPers will afterwards return to their habitual subservience. On the other hand, it might be evidence of Republicans belatedly realizing that to resist their orange albatross, they must all hang together. Or else hang separately at the ballot box come November.

[i-loved-silly]

I love this series too much I gyat to write for the whole crew 💔 unedited thoughts ahead pls request more

KEN X CRIMINAL! READER

First of all the mafia family has nothing against you, you mind your business and they do their shit, settle their debts, and have some fun. For the most part you were under the radar

You were well respected though, as you were a thoughtful regular in the Whale Belly Butchershop. Never causing trouble, just ordering, eating, relaxing a bit then dipping

We all know Ken is a dilf…cmon now. It’s no surprise you started chatting it up with him eventually.

He was in his right mind to be somewhat suspicious, what rotling would willingly make a move on him if they didn’t want anything? It didn’t come from a place of insecurity—far from it. It just wouldn’t be the first time he’d have to splatter some charming bastard across the wall for getting nosy .

Lowkey Im bad at the buildup…just imagine flirting back and forth with Ken at your table. He’s casually leaning against it with that damn smirk. He looks like a smooth talker idk. Just know Mel avoids looking towards your table at all times when you two are together

What catches everyone off guard is when you keep sticking around. Volunteering to help around the shop, cleaning up after a rowdy customer, having a drink with Breadhead.

Maybe it’s the fact that it looks so natural for you to belong here that wins over his rotten little heart.

Mel is the first to notice her dad is HEAD OVER HEELS!! To be fair she liked you too, you’re on her side when Ken’s being a little too harsh or overprotective. She liked that you’re cool like that, she likes you’re a badass criminal too. I feel like Mud is the second to notice, immediately starts poking at him. Catches him staring longingly at you after you leave his shop?

“If you keep starin’ like that you’ll rot holes into their damn spine.”

I saw it once in the pilot and will not shut up about it. It becomes routine for him to kiss your hand as a greeting, but the difference lands when his hand lingers under yours for a second longer. Or he holds eye contact. Guhhhh

I’ll write more tomorrow I’m tired. Enjoy :33

[zerosbubble]

The Rookie Prank War!

Tim Bradford x Rookie!reader [PLATONIC] — Ongoing series: Like Father, like Rookie.

A/N: Okay, so, I may have had a mini writer’s block—but! Hopefully this lengthy oneshot makes up for it. 😭

Summary: You start a (mostly) harmless prank war with one of the other rookies. Tim doesn’t care—until you drag him into it. Now he’s torn between helping you win and making sure you don’t get fired.

Pranks weren’t technically against department policy.. but that didn’t mean Tim Bradford approved of them.

Tim Bradford didn’t play games.

He didn’t do pranks. He didn’t do childish antics.

He especially didn’t do rookie nonsense.

For the first two weeks of your ongoing prank war with Aaron, Tim had stayed blissfully uninvolved. Sure, he rolled his eyes when he caught wind of your antics, and yeah, he warned you at least three times that you were playing a “dangerous game.”

But he had other things to worry about, like actual police work and making sure you didn’t get yourself killed.

So long as you weren’t embarrassing him, he didn’t care.

Yet here he was.

Stuck in the middle of a full-blown prank war between his own rookie and Aaron Thorsen.

And it was entirely your fault.

It all started when you strolled into roll call one morning looking suspiciously innocent.

Tim, unfortunately, knew you well enough by now to recognize that nothing good ever came from that expression.

He barely glanced up from his clipboard before sighing.

“Kid.”

You blinked at him, wide-eyed, the very picture of fake innocence. “Yes, sir?”

Tim’s eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”

“Why do you always assume I did something?”

Across the room, Lucy snorted, barely looking up from her coffee. “Because you always do something.”

Before you could fire back, the doors burst open like a dramatic courtroom scene.

Aaron stormed in, and for a second, you thought he might actually combust from sheer rage. His usually pristine uniform was slightly disheveled, his patrol belt slightly askew, as if he had been fighting for his life.

He pointed an accusing finger at the room.

“Okay, which one of you messed with my shop?!”

You barely bit back a grin. “What happened, Thorsen?”

Aaron glared, breathing deeply like a man trying to suppress a violent outburst.

“…Every time I hit the brakes,” he gritted out, “my car starts blasting ‘Barbie Girl.’”

Silence.

For a full three seconds, the briefing room held its breath.

Then—

Chaos.

Angela doubled over, wheezing, gripping the table for support. Meanwhile, Nyla had to physically turn away to wipe the tears forming in her eyes.

Lucy? Clapped.

She actually clapped.

Tim sighed loudly, rubbing his temples like he was regretting every decision that led him to this moment.

Aaron threw his hands up. “Do you think this is funny?!”

Angela barely choked out, “I—I just—” She gasped for air between cackles. “It fits your whole vibe, man.”

“My vibe?!”

Nyla, still wiping away laughter tears, nodded seriously. “Yeah. Rich kid turned cop? Total Ken energy.”

Lucy lost it at that. “Oh my god, Thorsen’s a Ken!”

The laughter doubled.

Even Grey—Grey, the literal sergeant who had the patience of a saint (and zero tolerance for rookie nonsense), tilted his head like he was mildly impressed before exhaling sharply, looking away like he was suppressing a smirk.

Aaron, however, looked seconds away from committing a felony.

Tim, watching all of this unfold, finally turned to you, exasperated.

“You’re lucky Grey isn’t in the mood to suspend anyone today,” he muttered.

You beamed, utterly unbothered. “That means I win this round, right?”

Aaron’s glare deepened.

“Oh, you’re so going down.”

And just like that—

The war escalated.

Tim just sighed deeply, wondering what debt he had left to pay that had led to him being responsible for you.

By the next day, you knew you were in trouble.

Aaron had resources.

Specifically? Money.

Which meant he had somehow managed to hire a professional prankster to help him.

You came back from patrol to find everything in your locker had been individually gift-wrapped.

Every. Single. Item.

Socks? Wrapped. Notebooks? Wrapped. Your taser? Wrapped, complete with a bow.

The squad was losing their minds.

Tim, walking past, barely spared it a glance. “That’s what you get, kid.”

You turned to him, desperate, your hands clasped together as if you were praying for a miracle, “Sir, I need your help.” you whined.

Tim scoffed, turning on his heel to face you with a stern look, one that screamed ‘I don’t have time to play around.’ “Absolutely not.”

“Please?”

“No.”

You leaned in. “Come on. You hate losing.” You argued.

“I’m not in the game.”

You cheekily smirked as if you were in on a joke that he had no knowledge of, “Not yet.” You cooed with a knowing look.

Tim eyed you warily, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You just grinned, giving him a firm pat on the back, “You’re already on my team, sir.” You exclaimed, already daydreaming of all the possibilities of how this prank war was going to end.

Tim frowned. Hard. “Kid, no, I’m not—”

“You gave me a direct order to win.” You said, raising a brow.

Tim blinked, staring. “I did not—”

“Ohhh, but you did.” You tapped your chin, feigning deep thought. “Just this morning, you said—what was it? Oh! ‘Don’t let him get away with that, kid.’”

Tim groaned, already regretting every decision that led to him being stuck with you. “That wasn’t—”

“Sounds like encouragement to me,” Lucy cut in as she walked by, smirking.

Angela who’d been watching this whole ordeal unfold with arms crossed, grinned like this was the most entertaining shit she’s seen all day, “Oh yeah. That’s definitely involvement.”

Wesley, who wasn’t even part of the department but just happened to be visiting Angela, sipped his coffee and muttered, “That would hold up in court.” Adding his very valuable two cents in.

The whole squad was watching now, entertained as hell.

Nyla leaned back in her chair, nodding like she was considering the argument, “You do hate losing, Tim.” Gaining a nod of agreement from Nolan who’d just come back from returning war bags.

Tim turned to her. “Not the point.”

“Sounds exactly like the point,” Nyla countered.

Tim exhaled sharply, looking toward Grey who was strolling past like maybe—just maybe—he’d be saved.

Grey just raised an eyebrow, not even bothering to stop walking, or taking the risk of hearing things he didn’t wanna hear, “I don’t care what you do as long as it doesn’t make my life harder.” He casually said, already disappearing into his office.

Tim groaned again, dragging a hand down his face. “Fine.” He pointed directly at you. “But if I help you, it’s only to make sure you don’t get fired.”

You beamed. “That’s a win in my book.”

Tim muttered something under his breath—probably regrets and prayers—but you didn’t care.

Because Tim Bradford was now on your side.

And that meant?

Aaron didn’t stand a chance.

The next morning, Aaron strolled into the locker room, yawning as he reached for his locker.

He unlatched it—

And immediately stumbled back as a dozen overstuffed balloons burst out, each one exploding mid-air and showering him in a relentless, ungodly amount of glitter.

It got everywhere.

His uniform. His hair. His soul.

Aaron froze, hands outstretched in horror as the last bits of glitter floated gently onto his already-ruined uniform.

The room?

Absolutely lost it.

Angela gasped, eyes wide. “No. Freaking. Way.”

Nyla leaned against the lockers, impressed. “Okay, I gotta ask—how did you even set that up?”

You shrugged, innocence personified. “Trade secret.”

Lucy wiped away actual tears. “It’s so evil.”

Wesley, who somehow kept getting roped into this nonsense, just sipped his coffee and muttered, “That’s a felony in some states.”

Tim, standing beside you, pinched the bridge of his nose like a man deeply regretting his life choices.

“Don’t get cocky, kid,” he muttered.

Aaron, still frozen, wiped a slow, agonized hand down his glitter-covered sleeve.

Then, very carefully, very deliberately, he turned his deadliest glare on you.

“You,” he said, voice deadly calm, “are so. Dead.”

You?

You just smiled.

Because this?

This was only the beginning.

From that point on, it was war.

Aaron, never one to back down from a challenge, retaliated by slipping red food coloring into your hand sanitiser.

You stared at your hands in horror—bright pink, you raised your hands in the air like you’d been caught in a crime scene. “What the fuck?!”

Aaron, smug as ever, gave a short laugh. “I thought it would be a nice touch.”

Tim, ever the reluctant mentor, simply sighed deeply from his desk. “Here,” he muttered, tossing a pack of tactical gloves your way. “Wear these until it fades.”

You, still sulking about getting caught up in Aaron’s prank, slipped the gloves on. “You’re the best, sir.”

Tim leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples like he was at peak regret already. “I regret everything,” he mumbled, half to himself.

But you weren’t done yet. Oh no, this was only getting started.

The next move? You reprogrammed Aaron’s entire shop GPS to only speak in Tim’s voice.

You watched with barely-contained glee as Aaron got into his shop, fully unaware of what awaited him.

It didn’t take long for the magic to happen.

A few miles into his patrol, Aaron pressed the GPS button.

The voice crackled to life, Tim’s voice, smooth as ever.

“In 500 feet, make a U-turn, rookie. And try not to embarrass yourself.”

The entire squad, who had been waiting outside, erupted.

Angela gasped, barely holding her coffee. “Oh my god,” she half-laughed, half-choked on her drink.

Nyla actually slapped her knee. “You are a genius.”

Grey, who normally maintained a wall of composure, actually snickered and cleared his throat, turning to Tim. “You sure you didn’t record those lines yourself?”

Tim was staring at you, eyes wide with a mix of confusion and something that could’ve been admiration.

“Kid.”

You beamed, leaning against the counter casually. “Yes, sir?”

Tim’s brow furrowed as he gestured vaguely toward the car. “Where the hell did you get a recording of my voice?”

You just grinned and leaned back, tossing your hair over your shoulder. “That’s a trade secret too.”

Aaron, furious, slammed the car door, his face flushed red, glaring at you through the windows. But you didn’t even flinch.

Because you knew…

You’d won again.

By the end of the week, Aaron was running out of ideas.

But you?

You were winning.

Each day, you upped the ante, pushing the limits of what could be considered acceptable behavior in the workplace.

You’d switched his shop keys for ones that didn’t fit. You’d swapped out his patrol jacket for one covered in pink rhinestones. You’d even clipped a “kick me” sign to his back when he wasn’t looking.

Aaron’s frustration was at an all-time high, but you were still going strong.

Unfortunately, Tim?

He was growing more and more exasperated.

“If you get fired,” he muttered as you and Aaron stared each other down across the room, “I’m not writing your recommendation letter.”

You grinned, unphased. “I would never get fired, sir.”

Tim glared. “You put silly string in Aaron’s patrol air vents.”

You paused, looking innocently at him. “…Okay, fair, but—”

Tim’s eyes narrowed. “I helped you. I am complicit.”

You grinned wider. “That means you’re an accessory.”

Tim groaned, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I hate you.”

Angela, who had been watching this whole thing unfold with an amused smirk, chimed in. “No, you don’t.”

Tim turned to her, exasperated beyond belief. “They’re worse than Lucy.”

Lucy, who had been silently enjoying the drama from her corner, gasped in mock outrage. “Hey!”

Tim pointed directly at you, almost accusingly. “This is your fault. You encouraged them.”

Lucy just grinned that mischievous grin she always wore when chaos was afoot. “I am so proud.”

You raised an eyebrow. “See? Lucy gets it.”

Tim rolled his eyes, rubbing his forehead as though he were moments away from walking out the door and never looking back.

“I really regret this,” Tim muttered under his breath.

But no one was listening—because you were too busy preparing your next move.

The prank war had reached its peak.

Aaron was tired. You were unstoppable.

But it wasn’t until Grey finally had enough that everything came to a grinding halt.

“If I see one more prank,” Grey called out from his office, voice like a thunderclap that cut through the chatter, “you’re all pulling double shifts.”

The squad froze.

It was as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over everyone. No one dared to speak. You glanced at Aaron, who shot you a murderous look, but both of you knew—this was it.

The war was over.

You stood up, offering your hand to Aaron with all the grace of a seasoned negotiator.

“Truce?”

Aaron sighed, rubbing his temples as though trying to physically push the frustration out of his head. But then, after a beat, he reluctantly extended his hand.

“Truce.”

And just like that, the tension dissolved.

But not without Tim watching from the sidelines, his expression ageing five years in a matter of seconds. You could practically hear him thinking, What did I get myself into?

The squad, still thoroughly entertained by the spectacle of the entire week, immediately pulled out their phones and gathered together in front of Aaron’s locker, now completely covered in glitter, to take a group picture.

Angela, still laughing, wrapped her arm around your shoulders. “This is definitely going on the wall in the break room.”

Nyla, wiping tears from her eyes, nodded. “I’ll print out a copy, frame it, and put it next to Grey’s desk. For posterity.”

Grey, who had been leaning against the doorframe, gave a low grunt of disapproval but didn’t stop them. “You’re all ridiculous.”

But even he couldn’t help but smirk.

And Tim?

Tim stood a little farther away, arms crossed and looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was trying to hide the fact that, despite everything—the pranks, the chaos, the countless headaches—he was proud.

He refused to admit it, of course. Not in front of anyone.

But watching you outsmart Aaron every step of the way? Watching you win in ways he never thought possible?

Yeah.

He was definitely proud.

taglist: @its-ares @nevereclipse @chezze-its @mcckunty

[6xillaa]

Ken sato x !reporter reader

oh, how he wishes you saw him as a man and not a boy.

cw for everything below: age difference (its used for the plot), suggestive (depending on who you ask)

thinking about kenji trying to impress reader in his games. the reader who is older, more mature and composed than him. who always comments on his arrogance in their articles or interviews. honestly, you were his harshest critic! it was your nickname amongst your co-workers as well. everyone knew you held hatred for him, and so did he. you frequently commented on his age and how it isn't smart to put so much faith into such a young and ignorant man and call him a living legend. "he isn't mature enough!" you always stated.

he hated that. his age doesn't make him better or worse than anyone else; he was just better because he was ken sato. but that didn't stop him from trying to act older, at least around you. because it was for you.

he's still so desperate to impress you. he'd do cooler moves in games, smile at the camera more in interviews, and, even though it seemed impossible, he became more prideful. but he couldn't help it! feeling your intense gaze on him as he walked onto the field or got into a stance, it was invigorating.

he especially got a rise out of seeing you roll your eyes, slumping back in your seat, crossing one leg over the other once you realized there was nothing for you to comment on his performance. it was perfect. so perfect that it would (sometimes, if he was lucky) get a small, ever so slight, smile from your lips. even better if he saw you nod your head in approval. so after one of (arguably) his best perfomances yet, one he spent weeks practicing just for his pretty little critic, he walks up to you, ready to soak in all the praise he believed he deserved.

"so... how was that y/n?" he teased, slamming himself into your personal space. it's his favorite place! if you thought it belonged to you, it was also his. "leave me alone, sato." you grumble, not wanting to admit your defeat to him. "it was good, wasn't it? right? righttt?" you push him away and begin walking away, eyes looking straight forward to avoid his gaze.

"oh c'mon, am i really that bad you can't even compliment me?" he pouted playfully, poking your oh so soft cheek, giving it a slight pinch. "fine, sato! you're a good player. you impressed me today, enough for me to even say im... proud of you." if you were to sneeze each time kenji's heart began to race, it'd look like you're having a seizure because of how fast it was.

"then why dont you show me how proud you are of me," this made you halt, snapping your head towards him. "how?" you asked, eyes focused on his lips that quirked up into a grin. "take me out to dinner. tommorow night. let me pick, and i'll consider the debt you owe me paid off." he smiled, taking a step back, allowing you to breathe again. when did you stop? "i'm not indebted to you anyway?" you retort, pushing him back even more to feel like you had the upper hand here. "yes, you are! all the times you've doubted my abilities! am i not worthy of getting an apology? a gift?" he said dramatically, placing his hand on his chest.

you sputter nothing in disbelief, until something clocks inside of your little brain. "are you asking me on a date, sato?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest, a shit eating grin on your face. he leans down to your level, which is when you register how much taller he was than you, and tilts his head to the side. "and if i am?" kenji's voice goes quieter. "you're not my type." you mock, mimicking his tone. "i like them older." to this, he laughs. "you like grandpa's y/n? you like them near their deathbed?" he joked, trying (and failing) to hide his laughter. "yeah, atleast they're gentlemen, unlike you."

"i may not be the most gentlemanly person on earth, but i am a gentle man in everything else."

oh! oh. now you were entering dangerous territory. not for him, for you. it was so clear what he was setting up as a trap, and yet, despite all the warning signs there was, opened your plump little lips and asked with the purest face ever (even though your thoughts were the complete opposite) "how can i know if youre lying or not?"

and kenji, oh the annoying ken sato who you would never admit admired, not even on your deathbed, stepped closer to you, leaned down near your ear, and said in the loudest voice, loud enough so that you cant mishear him, and quiet enough that no one else can, says

"why dont i show you?"

if your composure was a ship, it would be near the ocean floor, the reason for sinkage; ken sato. right when your last functioning braincell is able to deliver a quip before total failure, someone calls kenji over. "you have a interview remember?" it yelled. "coming!" he smiled sweetly, kissing your cheek ever so softly.

the immature baseball player might not be as immature as you thought...

(thanks for the support on the last one, so i thought i'd write another one because im desperate for this man, like he's desperate for the reader, lowk. also i didnt fully proofread itmso sorry if skme names r missing colors and whatnot)

[eowynstwin]

I actually can't stop thinking about your writing on AC 141, it lowkey got me playing again. When I got back on New Horizions, I found out that I had 300,000 bells in debt give or take 50,000 or so from an expansion on my house. Also I just got the Abel sisters' shop so I can finally get pretty clothes, yippie!

Enough about me, Nikolai is the pilot that flies reader to other islands, while Laswell is the one that mans the desk at the airport, only because she has other jobs and a wife. Blathers is the same because I love him like a cherished family friend.

I imagine that the boys were initially alarmed when reader started catching and holding all of these sharp and/or venomous animals with her bare ass hands. While they've learned that reader never really gets hurt doing this, it's still a little scary to see her running around at all hours of the night and day catching creatures to either give to the Museum or sell.

At least reader gives them very thoughtful and genuinely nice gifts, many of them handmade.

Anyways, those are my thoughts that have been plaguing me, and you can have them.

previous

Gaz wakes early to a beautiful morning on the island. The sky is a rich, vibrant blue, playing host today to towering formations of pastel clouds, and the temperature is just low enough to suggest that the heat won’t rise unbearably throughout the day.

Gaz brings his coffee outside with him to sit on his front lawn and admire the day ahead of him. The human had gifted him a lovely wood swing recently, which he finds ideal for days just like this, where he can sip something warm and enjoy the breeze, and the sun on his face, and the scent of the garden springing up around his house that the human is cultivating for crossbreeding purposes.

Out of everyone on the island, you seem to prefer him at the moment—Price tracks your activities, whose houses you spend the most time on, who receives gifts the most often. It had been him in the beginning, and Gaz had initially worried that the old lion might be jealous, but Price had only smiled at the notion when the wolf brought it up and pointed out that he had been the only animal there, after all.

So Gaz is free to enjoy your attentions unimpeded by guilt. He’s watching the butterflies flit idly among the heavy spring blooms, inhaling the steam of his coffee, when he hears a low hum somewhere northwards. Maybe Nik jetting off along the archipelago, on his way to pick up another islander.

Then, Soap comes galloping up, running at a breakneck pace, and Gaz hardly has any time to relax before he yanks open the front door of his house.

“Bees got the human,” the horse throws over his shoulder briefly before barging inside.

“What?” Gaz demands.

Soap emerges again, a bag of medicine between his teeth. “Bees got the human,” he repeats, and sprints in the direction of the humming.

Gaz sets down his drink and runs after him. Sure enough, in the copse of trees on the north side of the island, they find the human, sitting on the ground beside an abandoned hive, one eye swollen closed and looking very sorry for yourself.

“Shaking trees again, are you?” Soap says cheerfully, hiding his concern away so as to keep you calm.

The poor thing nods, tears flowing from your one good eye. “Sometimes money falls out,” you say.

“Got to be faster with that net, ken?” the horse says gently, getting to his knees and opening the bag.

As Soap applies the medicine and does his best to calm you down, Gaz makes a mental note to talk to Price about the goodies he hides to keep you entertained. It’s important, of course, that you always have something to do, Gaz agrees with that, but maybe they should mitigate the risk of bodily injury.

Even if only so the rest of them don’t have a collective heart attack when you get stung by something nasty again, if for no other reason.

next

[airandangels]

it's a bit like Queen's guitarist Brian May being an astrophysicist who's contributed to NASA projects

some people have two famous people's worth of talent and energy

Is no one going to be not normal with me about the fact that this guy:

YES. THIS MAN:

WROTE THESE?!

OR DO I HAVE TO BE NOT NORMAL ABOUT IT ALL BY MYSELF?!?!!?

[briarscreek]

Task Force 141 as Different Kens from Barbie Movies

A/N: This is just such a specific niche that I had to get it out or it would kill me. I’m only writing based on memory bc I’m lacking in the Barbie movie department rn so please bare with me. Not everyone will have a role in each other’s stories but I’ll try to at least include them in different roles. I did take some creative liberties bc some Barbie movie endings I think could be fixed but that’s what fanfiction is for. This was for shits and giggles so have fun!!

John Price as King Dominick from Princess & the Pauper but hear me out:

you, the lowly pauper wanted to sing to your hearts content, sharing the joy of your voice and melody around the world

but that wasn’t in the cards for you as of right now

with a mountain of debt from your parents providing for you, you had to stay in Madame Carp’s Dress Emporium to work it off

after accidentally bumping into your kingdom’s princess in the village square, you both realized that you looked identical

you immediately became friends with her along with sharing both of your troubles

her stuck in a soon to be marriage to help the kingdom but wanting to investigate further in the old mines and you, stuck in debt up to your neck at a dress shop wanting to sing to the world

with a promise of calling you to sing one day, you both returned back to your lives

it wasn’t but a day later that Gaz (Julian just in this scenrio) called for you about an important issue

the princess had gone missing! he asked you to fill in for her until he found her and uncovered the plot against the crown

he taught you everything you needed to know but trying to get it to stick was the hard part

John Price was supposed to wed the smart/scientific princess from a kingdom about to be bankrupt but he wanted to make sure that she was at least kind and a possible fair ruler to their kingdoms (hence the get up as one of the king’s advisors; let’s be honest, he could never pass for a stable boy)

but when you entered, took three steps, and fell flat on your face he couldn’t do anything other than let his heart melt at the sight of you (and be worried that you broke your nose)

while filling in for the princess just until Gaz could find her you tried as hard as you could to play the part

when the king’s advisor introduced himself, you couldn’t help but be mesmerized by his alluring, soft eyes and the way he kissed your hand in greeting

at least he was, or you hoped he could be attainable after the charade you’re pulling

once he heard you sing by accidentally listening in after your bath one day about being true to yourself, he couldn’t help but feel guilty about lying to you; not when you’re about to supposedly be married in less than a week

when he reintroduced himself as the actual king and not his advisor, your heart broke and mended at the same time

he spent the next day or two getting to know you or in this case the real you (since he had no idea who the real princess was)

when you were discovered as a fake by Shepherd (aka Preminger) you were immediately detained and dragged away

price couldn’t do anything to help you at the time, this wasn’t his kingdom and he had no say in the internal affairs

when he heard you accuse Shepherd as the one who actually has the princess, he was dead set on figuring out the truth

you lied to him but he lied to you too, so he couldn’t leave you as a sitting duck in the dungeon

after getting over resigning yourself in the cell, you made it your mission to prove yourself innocent

lulling the guard to sleep? easy. sneaking out through the winding dungeon tunnels? piece of cake. not looking where you were going in fear of being chased? stupid.

running right into the arms of a guard, he dismissed the others chasing after you, saying the queen had special orders for you

while being dragged away, you stepped on his armor’s weak spot (his foot) and elbowed him hard in the face only to receive an “easy, darling it’s me”

king price?!?! why is he here?

“I had a feeling there was more to you than Shepherd accused you of.”

“You do love disguises, don’t you”

you bit back a smile, wanting to kiss him but the immediate danger of the princess and the queen ran to the forefront of your mind.

with him hot on your heels, you both interrupted the royal wedding between the queen and Shepherd; right as the princess and Gaz arrived

proving his plan to be true, Shepherd was immediately detained and thrown in the dungeon for his sentencing to be delivered another time

with the princess’s new discovery of rare and precious gemstones in the old mines that she was trapped in, there was no need for her to marry King John Price anymore

with no hard feelings, he accepted it and even offered help of his own scientists and excavators to help the princess’ kingdom be brought back to financial health

the day you always dreamed of came, offered a deal by a talent scout to take your voice to the world

you would be gone for a year but before you departed, Price had something to give you

“it’s only ever belonged to you”

a simple diamond ring with a gold band, a symbol of his devotion and love to you; the real you

“no promises?”

“i’ll take my chances, darling”

throughout the year of touring the world, you met a great many people; kings & queens, princesses & princes, lords & ladies, even an empress admired your voice

but it all felt hollow, without the one you love most beside you

after all, his ring never left your finger once (only to bathe yourself did you take it off)

with hope in your heart, you went to his kingdom as your last stop on your tour

“you decided to end your tour here? why, dearest?”

“i hoped I could fulfill a promise. your majesty would you allow this pauper of humble beginnings to have a chance at your heart?”

“my darling, you’ve had my heart since we met”

nothing else in the world could compare to the kiss you two shared at the alter

Gaz as Prince Eric/The Nutcracker (PLEASE LISTEN):

after being gifted a toy nutcracker for christmas by your Uncle Drosselmeyer (John Price in this instance; could be by blood or family friend), you couldn’t help but absolutely adore it

it was a treasure unlike any other, yours to covet and keep in pristine condition

until your brother Tommy wanted it as a general for his toy soldier army

one thing led to another and its arm hinge snapped

your stomach dropped as you hurried to try to fix it

it was christmas eve and the best you could do to help him was create a cloth arm sling; just until you could take him to the toymaker for him to get properly fixed the day after tomorrow

you fell asleep on the couch that night, with the nutcracker by your head in a protective position

the hushed voices of small armies reached your ears wait that can’t be right

mice?!?!? what are mice doing in your living room?!? and with swords at that?

wait, where’s your nutcracker?

a quick glance and you saw him fighting mice at your feet

this isn’t a fair fight, there’s one of him and hundreds of mice soldiers

helping even the odds of the (dream?) battle was the least you could do

“leave him alone!”

armed with a large and sturdy vase, you instantly started to hit the hordes of mice until one with a scepter pointed it at you and yelled about you becoming smaller

right in front of your eyes, you shrunk to their size

quickly feeling unequipped to fight the army, you ran for the mantle and its garland hung from the fire place

after the battle was subdued and the mice retreated, you finally came face to face with your nutcracker

“you’re real? am I dreaming? who are you?”

“this is real and you can call me Gaz, sweetheart”

once you were equipped with a necklace to send you home after your journey, you and Gaz set off towards the mouse hole in hopes of finding the sugarplum princess to stop the mouse kings’ tyrannical rule

he introduced you to his home and explained what was going on

“the prince was a coward, and ran as soon as he could when the mouse king took the throne”

you noticed a twinge of harshness in his voice

the prince? prince who?

walking the terrain of the kingdom was easier said then done, and coming upon the remnants of the candy village left your heart broken

these poor people, driven from their homes just because a mouse wanted a throne

after successfully helping two children who were left behind in the village, they helped you tame a horse with a carriage to help lighten the load on the trip

taking a break in the forest helped to ease the childrens’ minds as well as give Marzipan some time to rest

it wasn’t until you were running from the mouse army did you happen upon the group of survivors from the scattered kingdom

Major Mint (Ghost) and Captain Candy (Soap) introduced themselves; beginning to bicker about how Prince Kyle’s selfish actions and lack of responsibility were the reason they were in this mess with the mouse king

“those were some pretty harsh words, Prince Kyle”

“you know, sweetheart?”

“it’s kind of hard not to notice but don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone”

it’s then that he said he promises to do better, be better (for you but he doesn’t realize that yet)

teaming up with Major Ghost and Captain Soap (i know these aren’t their actual ranks just go with it) had been a piece of cake; they volunteered to ready a boat to cross the giant sea while you and Gaz went out for supplies

after noticing a hole covering, you took Gaz’s sword and tried as hard as you could to open it, hearing small pleas of help from inside

it wasn’t until Gaz joined you for a final push did the cover slot free, letting the small fairies out of their prison

in their gratitude, they helped you gather more supplies and a moment between you and Gaz began to grow; hoping he would kiss you

but sadly that never came as a giant stone monster shook the earth and Gaz grabbed your hand; never letting you go as you both made for the boat beside the Major and Captain

you narrowly escaped a giant rock monster after it destroyed your boat; and fled on a sea of ice with the horse Marzipan leading the way

after successfully getting to the island where the sugar plum princess was rumored to be, Gaz, Ghost, and Soap entered the brightly colored castle without a second thought; desperate to find the princess

it was only a second before you realized that the castle was flat and painted did the trap spring on all three men

with you left behind on the island, you were desperate to help them in any way trying to come up with a plan

the fairies that you had freed before came to help, offering to carry you to the castle before Gaz could be used as firewood

it was by sheer luck that you happened upon a guarded room in the bottom of a tower

with easy manipulation towards the mouse guards, they scurried to their king; with your lie about him wanting them front and center in the courtyard on their minds

with the keys you pocketed off the sprinting guards you unlocked the door to find—

“why would they guard an empty room”

“we’re here miss!”

“we’re right in front of you”

“we can see her but she can’t see us. come on sweetheart. you know we’re here”

their hearts sank just a little when you turned to leave but turned to surprise when you picked up a metal lantern off the wall and crashed it towards the glass spell keeping them prisoners

“well done, sweetheart”

“come on! the mouse king has everyone in the courtyard”

an intense battle later with the mouse king left Gaz in a rough state, you quick to comfort him and fearing for his life

“you’ll be alright, Gaz. i know you will”

“it’s alright, sweetheart. i’ve been through worse.”

with the mouse kings anger, he aimed a spell at you but with the last of his strength did Gaz reflect the spell back onto the mouse king; making him shrink smaller instead to the size of an actual mouse

for his bravery, you bestowed him a kiss on the forehead thanking him for protecting you

it was then that everything changed, Gaz turned back into Prince Kyle and his subjects from stone back to people

everyone rejoiced in the knowledge that the true heir to throne was with them all along, fighting beside them

when Gaz turned to you, he saw the fairies you freed turn your old nightgown into a gorgeous dress with a crown atop your head

“it all makes sense”

“what does?”

“the sugar plum princess is kind, selfless and brave. it’s you sweetheart, it’s been you all along”

a smile adorned your face as the kingdom celebrated the end of the mouse kings reign right there

there was music, dancing, and even Ghost and Soap joined in on the fun

Gaz—Prince Kyle politely extended his hand towards you

“may i have this dance, sweetheart?”

“of course”

with both of you dancing to your hearts content, you couldn’t help but feel closer to him

at the end of the dance, Gaz dropped to one knee, his eyes filled with love for you

“will you stay with me sweetheart? will you be my princess?”

“i know this locket is supposed to take me home but I know in my heart i’m already there”

Gaz couldn’t help but let his smile grow wider, rising to meet you face to face

at the last second before your lips touched, the shrunken mouse king stole your locket and opened it for you

as you began to disappear Gaz couldn’t help but be heartbroken

“sweetheart!”

“Gaz!”

you awoke with a start on the couch, the giant clock ripping you from your dream

after a moment of drowsiness passed, you began to desperately search for your nutcracker but he wasn’t anywhere in the living room

you searched everywhere, even about to yell at Tommy to help you find him when your uncle came towards you

“Uncle! Have you seen my—“

“Ah, there you are dear, I was out on a morning stroll when I found my old friend. He saved my life once, years ago. I believe you should meet him”

“But Uncle, I have to find—“

“Hello, sweetheart”

it was then that Price’s plan had worked; getting his niece to bring back his cursed military friend and helping her to find a love she’s always dreamed of.

Simon “Ghost” Riley as Aiden from The Magic of Pegasus (he is the only one i think is close enough to Ghost’s broody personality and backstory in terms of Barbie age appropriate stories):

your parents had always been strict with you. never go outside, stay in the castle, don’t let yourself be seen.

it was exhausting, but all you wanted to do was skate on the ice in your winter kingdom.

on the night of your 21st birthday, you had snuck out to join the fun with the people of your kingdom on the frozen river.

the happy atmosphere was over in an instant when an unknown warlock introduced himself as your future husband.

“husband? I will never marry you”

your parents had arrived just in time to beg Makarov (Welock the sorcerer) not to do this again

again? what did they mean again?

right before your eyes, Makarov gave you a choice; either marry him in 3 days or your kingdom and parents shall be set to ice forever

in an instant, a horse with wings yelled at you to climb on and leaving no time to explain you both set off towards the sky filled with clouds

she brought you towards the cloud kingdom and it’s Queen (Kate Laswell; why not spice it up)

the queen explained that this has happened before, to your sister Brietta

your sister? you have a sister?

unfortunately, Brietta was turned into a pegasus; the very one who helped you escape from Makarov

“Brietta, I’m so sorry. What can I do to fix all of this?”

Cloud Queen Kate told you that Makarov could only be defeated by a Wand of Light made by the measure of courage, a ring of love, and a gem of ice lit by hopes eternal flame

after setting off with Brietta and your pet polar bear Shiver, all three of you began your journey in the dark forest

running into a smart-mouthed blacksmith was not on your to-do list

“and what are you doing in the forest all alone by yourself, love?” (the pet name is irritating)

and there was Simon Riley (Aiden), a blacksmith

“only fools come to the dark forest”

“and yet, you’re here”

“touche, lovie. what are you doing here?”

“i am gonna make a Wanda of Light to save my kingdom”

he chuckled at that; he never heard something so ridiculous in all his life

once you fixed him with a look, he realized you were serious

“if you help me make it, i’ll pay you!”

“you do realize it’s a myth love, right?”

“half the gold payment from what I have on me now, and more when I get my kingdom back”

now that was a hard bargain he couldn’t pass up

in your negotiating back and forth, you heard Shiver fall through some branches and started to scream for help

“love what are you doing?”

“someone has to help Shiver, and if you won’t, I will”

“wait, no it’s a trap-“

jumping feet first into the now broken branches before he could talk you out of it

he couldn’t believe how downright ridiculous this plan of yours was

he guesses he has to help you now, before you do anything else crazy

after successfully escaping the troll’s stew pot with just your hair ribbon, you made your way out the door and was greeted by Brietta

along with Simon, for some reason

Brietta was the first to notice

“Was your hair ribbon always that long? If you put it next to you, it’s your exact height!”

And right before everyone’s eyes, your ribbon turned from flimsy to a solid staff in your hands

“Oh a measure of courage! It makes sense now”

unable to deny the truth now and getting closer to making it, Simon agreed to help you

Simon stated that he knew someone to talk to about finding rare gemstones

after acquiring a map, all of you made the trek up the highest mountain for a rare gemstone

it was only based on your thinking that helped to realize that the rise of the dawn is hope’s eternal flame

upon entering the cave of gems, the warning rang back in your mind

take only what you need

after picking a gemstone for the staff, your heart spiked as Simon reached for another gem

“wait Simon! it said only take what you need”

“I know what it said love, I read it myself”

he picked a singular gem and nothing happened

the cave only collapsed when Shiver begin to play with gems and jewelry on the floor, putting them on herself

in a rush to hurry out, Brietta realized she only had enough strength to take one of you out of the self-destructing cave

a pegasus neighed in the distance, a gift from the Cloud Queen herself to help you both out

in another mountain cave to weather out the snowstorm, Brietta offered her tiara as the ring of love

with it completely enclosed to make a ring, Simon heated up his tools and got to work

“Simon, why did you take that gemstone?”

“my mates and I started our own blacksmithing business, but in my infinite wisdom wanted to help double our profits instead of waiting for the work to come to us. I lost it all in a gambling table, every single cent that we combined to make the shop itself.”

you couldn’t help but feel upset for him, his heart was in the right place yet his efforts led to no success

“promised myself I wouldn’t face them again until I gained it all back. thanks to you lovie and that gemstone, I might have a chance”

you realized that Simon wasn’t just rough around the edges but he cared deeply for others in his lives

maybe he could care for you one day too

on your journey back to your kingdom with the staff in hand, you heard Makarov’s harpy scream behind you giving chase

he finally caught up to you, and you raised the wand towards him

“destroy him!”

Makarov only laughed when nothing happened

“Wow the magical wand of Light is nothing but a prop, how disappointing.”

as a last ditch effort, you offered up yourself to marry him

“and why would I want you now? you’re exactly like my other wives. the least I can do is put you out of your misery”

an avalanche buried you faster than you could see it coming

“LOVE!”

it was Simon, rushing towards you as he dug his hands in the snow along with Brietta using her hooves as fast as she could

“hang on love, you’re gonna be ok”

with haste, they made for the Cloud Queen’s castle as Simon carried you in his arms

all they could do is wait for you now

“love? love please wake up. I need you”

“simon?”

when you finally awoke, you and simon hatched a plan to sneak into Makarov’s fortress to take back the wand

finding no stairs or paved paths, both you and simon strapped on some ice skates

“think you can keep up?”

“i think I can manage, love.”

once you both evaded being seen as much as you could, you split off to divide and conquer

“I’ll take care of the harpy, you grab the wand, love”

once you finally defeated Makarov and broke his wives out of his spell, you and Simon decided that the wives could take care of him themselves

with the kingdom back to it’s former glory, Simon invited you to join him on his visit to the blacksmith cottage

“Simon, you dolt! Where have you been?”

“We’ve been worried sick about ya!”

“Aye, ‘nd we’ve ‘ad more business as of late”

“I’m sorry mates, I lost all of our savings in a gambling game. I was trying to get it back before I faced ya again.”

“You know we don’t care about money, Si. We just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“We love you, brother”

“Aye we do. And who’s this beautiful young maiden you’ve brought with you?”

“This is my fiancee, the princess.”

They couldn’t believe that Simon, their Simon, finally softened up to someone. And to a princess no less!

Johnny MacTavish as Prince Stefan from Barbie as Rapunzel (He fit as Stefan more than the prince in Swan Lake but someone else will be taking that title if y’all like this post and want another one):

living as Gothel’s servant was never easy

doing chores day in and day out exhausted you

in your escape, you found painting, just dreaming of the places you wished to visit

of course Gothel never liked this

after she left the mansion grounds to run errands one day, you and your best friends Penelope and Hobie discovered a secret passage that led from the kitchen to some sort of storage chamber

finding a hairbrush engraved with your name and a portrait of Gothel with a man whose face was scratched out, gave you more questions than answers

if Gothel said that you were abandoned, then why did she have a hairbrush engraved with the words of someone saying they loved you as constant as the stars above?

With Penelope’s eagerness to see it too, her excitement made her jump and crash right through the storage floor

a secret passage? to where? you were about to find out.

Penelope wanted to go with you but couldn’t fit through the hole and Hobie was down right afraid of Gothel finding out, so the both of them stayed behind

the corridor itself led to a beautiful kingdom with a charming village, all of the sellers trying to influence you to buy something

after perusing the village for a good portion of the day, the next step was to walk the apple orchard right off the stone path

it was a few minutes later that you heard a little girl scream and branches breaking

rushing to her aid, two other girls on horseback went to get help from someone else as well

“grab my hand!”

“I can’t! I’m slipping!”

“I know, just let go with one hand and I’ll grab you”

she did as you told but after pulling her halfway up, you slipped on the edge of the pit trap yourself

two hands flew to your waist to pull both of you out before you could fall in

“are ya alright, bonnie?”

“yes, I’m ok. thank you for your help. where did that trap come from?”

“a courtesy of King Wilhelm, unfortunately. he thinks we stole somethin’ from ‘im years ago”

“oh that sounds awful”

the mysterious man smiled and you took the time to notice that his head was shaved in a mohawk pattern

“pardon my ruddness, bonnie. my name is—“

“DON’T tell me! trust me, it’s better that I don’t know”

“mysterious. i like it”

at that, you both smiled at each other

“I should get my nieces back inside but don’t go ‘nywhere!”

you nodded your head but it soon surprised you to see Penelope yelling after you

Gothel was on her way home and Penelope came to warn you

Penelope begged you to come back and you agreed wholeheartedly, although a little sad you might never meet that mysterious and handsome man again

you thought you had made it just in time and without being discovered but it was Otto who betrayed you

you’re not even surprised

“and who was this man that you met in the village today? what was his name?”

“i don’t know”

“you’re lying to me”

after a heated argument of Gothel thinking your only lying, she destroyed every painting and art supplies in your room, even lengthening your bedroom tower to become too high to climb down without stairs

that night as you cried yourself to sleep, something magical happened beside you of your hairbrush turning in to a paint brush

Penelope and Hobie, feeling upset for your situation, decided to cheer you up by making paint from the berry garden outside

they brought it to you though your window, encouraging you to paint

“but I don’t have a paintbrush”

“why not use this one”

the same one that sat beside your bed

you gave it a try, the red berry color changing into a rich green and you soon realized the paintbrush itself was made of magic

after painting the portrait, your hand passed through it, understanding that this painting could become your escape

as you pushed through, you almost bumped into the handsome man with the odd hair again

“oh bonnie, there you are. i was lookin to find ya.”

“Oh, I just, had to go home. But could you help me find the maker of this paintbrush?”

“Aye, I know just who to ask.”

he lead you to a iron carver’s shop by the name of Kyle’s

“Oh your high—“

Johnny immediately motioned for Gaz not to say any pleasantries behind your back and he was quick to get the message. you were none the wiser

“Hi-hi-hi-hi-hi. Ahem, what can I do for you today?”

“I was hoping you might recognize the maker behind this paintbrush”

“Oh I know it, it’s my brother’s”

“May I meet him?”

“I’m sorry but after King Wilhelm set up his borders, I haven’t been able to talk to him in years”

“I’m so sorry”

In ending the conversation and visit with Gaz, the handsome man led you on a walk through the village until he pulled out a piece of paper

“it’s an invitation for a masquerade ball tonight. I was hoping aye could meet ya there bonnie?”

with his pleading eyes and soft smile, you couldn’t say no to him

Penelope once again came up to you, huffing about her father being in trouble if you don’t come back

Johnny couldn’t handle the fact that there was a dragon, let alone a dragon who’s talking with you.

As quick as you could you ran after Penelope but not before looking back at you handsome man

“I’ll be there tonight”

“I’ll see you then, lass”

with a pep in your step and ready to finally break free, you decided to paint your own dress; much easier than trying to find one

once you were in love with your finished product, you finally glanced in the mirror and saw Gothel

“once again, I am going to ask you for his name”

“i told you already, I don’t know!”

after that, Gothel ruined everything in your room, from destroying the portal to breaking your paintbrush, even cutting off your hair from its floor length to your shoulders

in a fit of anger, Gothel cast a spell on your tower to never release its prisoner with a lying heart

once Gothel left, your friends Penelope, Hobie and even Penelope’s dad Hugo realized that since you never lied the spell doesn’t affect you

once you arrived at the ball, you realized that chaos had ensued and went straight to the ballroom

“you STOLE my daughter!”

“NO for the thousandth time I NEVER stole her!”

“No, I did” Gothel stated proudly

and there it was, the earth shattering truth

Gothel stole you from your father just because he didn’t love her back

“You took me from my father just because he didn’t love you back?”

“He should have been with me instead!”

with that, you enticed Gothel to chase after you in the maze

“it doesn’t have to be this way Gothel, I can forgive you for all those years. just stop this and we can forget about it.”

“NEVER!”

“Now!”

With Penelope and you behind the door, you both closed it and let Gothel walk right into the portal that took her right to your tower

as you rushed back inside, you saw your father, the other king, and your handsome man finally putting out the fires that Gothel had cause in her wake

when you both made eye contact, he dropped his vase and immediately ran towards you, swooping you in his arms

“are you alright?”

“me? what about you bonnie? are you ‘lright?”

he hugged you even tighter, afraid to let go

King Wilhelm gently took steps towards the pair of you, calling out your name. when he finally held his face in your hands he cried with joy

“oh my beautiful daughter, you look just like your mother.”

King Wilhelm finally turned to the other king and begged for his forgiveness

“All is forgiven, if I were you would have done the same to you if someone took my children”

it was then that you felt a hand hold yours and pull it into his lips.

“may i give you my name now, lass?”

you shook your head in delight

“Johnny MacTavish, at your service, bonnie”

“Seems our children are already set to end this feud”

at that comment made by your Father, you realized—

“You’re the prince of this kingdom?”

“Aye, lass. And you’re a princess. I’d love to court you after you spend time with your father, bonnie. You two have spent too much time apart.”

Your heart melted at that, knowing that his kindness was bottomless

“Promise to write to me?”

“Every minute we’re apart lass”

[lillaydee]

Matchmade Part 9

Millionaire! Joel Miller / Reader

Having experienced traumatic, life altering events, a freshly divorced Joel worked to repay his debt to the person he owed his life to.

@peelieblue @feenoire @vickie5446 @liciafonseca

WARNINGS:

Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel Lives (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Character Death, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 8

---

That Sunday you drove into town to a popular brunch place, greeted by a very excited Julie and Jimmy. Cece had gone next door to get something she had ordered for her sister’s birthday, and Julie wanted to introduce the rest of you to someone special. The three of you sat waiting for the others, making jokes about the old days, reminiscing being young and carefree. Julie had found a picture from Halloween years ago, and the three of you laughed your heads off at how gawdy you looked as a teenager. Julie’s phone rang, and the place was too noisy for her to hear anything. So she went outside, one finger in her ear, trying to listen to the caller.

Joel and Sarah walked in. Sarah had begged him for more French Toast, but he didn’t want her to bother you with it, being a Sunday and all. She had French Toast two days in a row, but of course, he didn’t have the heart to tell her no. He had heard of this place and decided to give it a try. Just as he sat down, he heard your laugh. His heart fell at the sight of you and a handsome man laughing and clutching at each other, clearly having a good time looking at something on the table, your heads almost together, shoulders shaking in unison. This must be Jimmy, he thought.

Sarah turned to see what he was looking at and wanted to go to you. He stopped her, telling her they shouldn’t bother Miss Addie today. She’s with her friend. Sarah looked as if she was thinking for a while.

“Daddy what’s a boyfriend?”

He stiffened. He didn’t know how to answer. He felt like his heart was in his throat, and he would surely vomit if he did. Did you talk to her about this? Did you tell her about this Jimmy? Oh, God, it’s true isn’t it? You had a boyfriend and it’s this Ken-like man who you seemed to be having a good time with.

He was still figuring out how to answer her when she squealed at Julie, who just walked back in. Julie gave her a quick hug and smooches, before asking Joel if they were waiting for anyone. He said no, just the two of them.

“Well come join us! Come on!”

And before Joel could say no, she had scooped Sarah out of her chair and brought her over to you and this perfect specimen that was your boyfriend. Sarah clung on to you as Joel hesitantly made his way to your table. You face lit up into a wide smile when you saw him, while Jimmy gestured to the staff to tell them your number had increased.

You introduced him to Jimmy, who couldn’t help himself. He placed his arm around your shoulder and shook Joel’s hand sternly, “Her boyfriend, Jimmy,” he said.

The resigned look on Joel’s face gave you pause. Was he… upset? At the thought of you having a boyfriend?

When Jimmy burst into laughter, you couldn’t help but laugh along. Julie was in bits.

“I’m just kidding. We’re just old friends, I’m her ex – amicable,” Jimmy sat back down, wiping his eyes at Joel’s befuddled expression.

Cece walked in, and he introduced her, his fiancée, to Joel, he told her, his head tilted towards you. She seemed to have clocked his message, a huge, impressed smile on her face.

Did you imagine it, or did he seem… relieved?

“So you are not Miss Addie’s boyfriend?” Sarah asked.

Jimmy laughed, and said no.

“So Daddy can be Miss Addie’s boyfriend?”

The whole table went silent, a subtle smile on Jimmy, Cece and Julie’s faces. Joel was trying really hard to subtly shush his daughter, his ears turning red from embarrassment.

You looked Sarah straight in the eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” She nodded. “What do you think a boyfriend is?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. No one tell me. I ask, but no one tell me. But Ben ask if he can be my boyfriend. So, can Daddy be your boyfriend?”

The whole table laughed at this adorable little girl’s try at using a big word she didn’t understand. Joel laughed too, relieved that she didn’t really understand what she was asking.

Wait, Ben, her public enemy number 1 asked if he could be her boyfriend?

Please… don’t let his three-year-old have a boyfriend before he could have the courage to ask you out.

But wait, you didn’t answer. Can he be your boyfriend, or not?

**********

Turned out, Tess was the mystery guest Julie was eager to introduce to everyone. Apparently they had been seeing each other quietly these past few weeks. Joel watched his best friend sit with her new girlfriend, looking so happy and relaxed. She deserved this. She had worked hard all her life, she’d been there for him throughout his struggles, always looking out for him, it’s time she has someone all to herself.

Tess, Julie, Cece and Jimmy, on the other hand, were all looking at the way Joel was looking at you entertain his daughter, Sarah sweetly telling you that she liked the French Toast you made better while you, looking so touched, smothered her with hugs and kisses, her giggles music to his ears. Tess had never seen him this besotted with anyone. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. That look he had, a yearning one – in all the years she had known him, she had never seen him look at anyone like that. Not even Liz. She knew from the moment she saw the two of you together at the hotel that he was crushing on you. Just a gut feeling, one that someone who had known him for all their conscious life would have.

Tommy felt it too. He told Tess his suspicions when Joel followed your every move as you moved around the buffet with his eyes. Tommy also clocked him smiling like an idiot every time you texted him updating him of Sarah’s activities throughout the days at the conference. When he teased his brother about it, he claimed he was just smiling at Sarah’s antics, but Tommy knew. His big brother, who had made sacrifices for him, just so that he could go to college, and later introduced him to the love of his life. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Joel.

Tess and Tommy were no fans of Liz. They had always suspected that she was too cold for someone like him. The first time she left him, she right out told him she has no interest coming home to someone smelling like fish. He didn’t come back from the sea for months after that, not wanting to run into her at all, taking gig after gig, working himself to the bones to get her out of his head. They had to watch as he, despite their advice, took her back in, again and again, until she finally ran him ragged and divorced him after spending his hard-earned money like drinking water. That incident at the hospital almost led to Tommy choking her to death, if not for Joel crashing.

Both of them had expressed to Joel after the sentencing that they wished he had never met her. Joel looked at them both and said one word.

Sarah.

The light of their lives. The little girl who was just so positive, so innocent, so happy, yet so neglected by the woman who gave birth to her. And now, watching you treat Sarah like she’s the most important person in the world, had clearly gotten Joel weak in the knees, and Tess couldn’t find it in her to blame him.

You were the Anti-Liz. Soft, strong, independent… and shockingly, frugal.

Tess was shocked to hear that you hadn’t spent any of Joel’s money on anything other than Sarah when he willingly surrendered one of his credit cards to you. She’s glad, of course, but really? Wow. When Joel told her his plan on offering you the guesthouse, she had been a bit worried, but this past week? He looked rested, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulder, probably to do with what he promised Allie. And brought a freaking BLT to work for lunch on Friday, proudly showing it off to her, Tommy and Maria, not letting anyone have a bite.

Maybe having you around wasn’t too bad for him and Sarah.

**********

The second week you lived at the new place, your tiny tin can of a car decided not to start immediately every single morning. Funny enough, it started fine when you were at work or the store. You were beyond embarrassed every time Joel’s body stiffened when it wouldn’t start. But hey, it did start eventually, and that’s what’s important, okay?

A parcel arrived at the daycare, containing the potteries you and Sarah had made. She wouldn’t let you open them, telling you we have to wait for Daddy. The rest of that day was spent getting paint off a carpet, a product of finger painting that somehow travelled from the playroom into the office, where Julie had laid out a special Persian runner she had gotten on holiday. Big mistake, you told her, as the two of you scrubbed paint off the corner of the pricey carpet. Never, ever, put expensive carpets that shouldn’t have paint of Playdough on it at a daycare. Shut up and keep scrubbing, she said.

After the cleaning session, as you got Sarah ready to go home, Julie tried to tell you something, but Sarah pulled her by the hand into the kitchen, saying she needed to wash her hand. You heard the two of them whispering but didn’t really want to intrude.

When you got home, Joel was just parking the truck too. Sarah ran to him, and started chattering maddeningly fast at him, he didn’t even have the chance to say hello to you. You went ahead and unlocked the door, and began preparing dinner, the package placed on the kitchen island for him and Sarah to open.

“Miss Addie, come open the box!” Sarah called out.

You wiped your hand on the apron you brought in from your studio and joined them at the island. There were three boxes in that big package. Sarah peeked in the two smaller ones, and gave you and Joel one each, while you passed the bigger one to her. She opened hers first, squealing at the butterfly bowl you had made for her, hugging you so tight she almost fell off the stool. Joel opened his next. It was a huge mug. A wonky one, with the painting of an owl on it. Joel laughed, and kissed his daughter, hugging her tight, thanking her for making such a beautiful mug for him.

You opened yours, also a huge wonky mug with an owl painting. You crooned at her sweetly, saying thank you while kissing her over and over. Wait, she said. She’s not done.

She took the wonky mug she made for Joel and put it together with the wonky one she made you.

Ah…

The wonkiness of the mug was deliberate. They literally joined… at the owls’ hips, which you now realized were supposed to be a male and a female.

Okay, she didn’t make these, did she? All those whisperings and giggling you heard behind the barrier was her plotting with that cunning young staff who was helping her? You thought she finished the mugs a bit too early. Took you forever to get her bowl semi-decently shaped.

You couldn’t look Joel in the eyes. Oh God, you were there when she supposedly made these. What if he thought you had done this on purpose? That you made her gift the two of you these lovey-dovey mugs as part of your sick fantasy? That you were some deranged, love-crazed homeless lady who was lusting after the rich, kind, Adonis of a man that he was?

Which… you had come to realize might actually be true, but that’s beside the point.

He took a few steps closer to you, so close. He was right beside you. You can see Sarah getting excited. You felt his fingers at your chin, lifting your face up, his face so close to yours as he bent closer to your face, his breath on your cheek. You kept your eyes closed, savouring in his smell, the faint whiff of his cologne, his breath…

“You have paint on your cheek,” he said, leaning over you to get a washcloth, and spent a few minutes wiping it off your face, his touch so gentle, his presence so calming.

“Thank you,” you told him, as he took a step back once he’d finished.

He smiled, told you it was no problem, and went into his room to shower and change. You immediately turned towards the grinning Sarah, asking her why she didn’t tell you that you had paint on your face?

“Oops,” she said, an exaggerated ‘sorry, not sorry’ look on her face, before grinning and asking you to help her wash the mugs and bowl for the three of you to use for dinner.

You spent the rest of that day unable to look Joel in the eyes, and left immediately after you had finished cooking dinner, again, using the excuse of a work call to bring a serving back to your place to eat. Cause now, you were convinced that not only did he think you had the hots for him, which, while true, was neither here nor there, but now that you knew how good he smelled, you didn’t trust yourself to be so near him.

Thankfully, he had work dinners for a couple of days that week, or you would have never recovered.

**********

When you and Sarah got home from work that Friday, there was a brand-new car in the driveway. A simple one, nothing ostentatious. You didn’t think anything of it, but when Sarah asked Joel whose car that was, he said it was his, just wanted a smaller car to drive in town, he said. And when your car wouldn’t start again that Saturday as you were leaving to get groceries, he offered the key to the new car for you to drive. You declined, of course, you were not going to drive his brand-new car. Plus, you were worried the car was going to betray you in some way, with all the advanced everything on it. He laughed and offered to go with you. His parents were coming to pick Sarah up, eager to spend some time with her. He wanted you to get used to driving the car, in case you needed to.

He had offered you to take his truck once, but you were convinced you couldn’t see past the console, so you politely declined. Thank God that car of yours started immediately after. This was a normal sized car, so you had no excuse, especially if the tin can gave you issues again.

So off the two of you went, to the store, getting groceries. You drove so slowly he started teasing you about it. The car was surprisingly easy to drive, and you had to admit, was much better than that rusty tin can you had driven since you bought it second hand 14 years ago.

When you got to the store, he took a cart, and pushed it alongside you, while you did the shopping. He had a strange feeling in his chest – he could get used to this. Doing this with you. He had often told himself to not delude himself into thinking you would ever feel anything for him, but he couldn’t help but admit to himself how he felt for you. These past two weeks, having you around, cooking for him and Sarah, packing his lunch for him, was not exactly helping him tone down his fantasies. But coming home to a home-made dinner from you, and opening a packed lunch every day, seeing you interact with Sarah, already more of a mother figure to her than his ex-wife had ever been, the fantasies began to etch itself to his bones. Even his fancy work dinners didn’t feel as satisfying anymore. He only wished that you would stay and enjoy the dinners you made with him and Sarah, although he was not going to push.

He had had to hide his face from yours when Sarah joined the mugs together, the cheeky little bugger. But there was a part of him that wished the mugs had been your idea – that maybe he wasn’t alone in feeling the way he felt? But the shy look on your face suggested otherwise, but maybe it was because you did feel something, and was just embarrassed? And when he helped you clean the paint off your face that day, he had to take a really cold shower to get the naughty thoughts out of his head, desperately trying to forget how you smelled, and hearing you breathe so close to him.

You called his name, two pints of ice cream in your hands, snapping him out of his daydream. You were asking his opinion on which ice-cream to get when a familiar voice called out your name.

“Mrs Anders! Oh my God, I’ve missed you!” you gave that woman the tightest hug ever, having not seen her since you left her house due to Tanya’s interference, only resorting to calling her every few days to check on her.

You introduced Joel to her, explaining that this woman literally saved you and Allie so many times over the years. She, aside from your late mom, was also responsible for teaching you how to cook some of the meals you had been cooking for him. He gave her a big hug at that, thanking her for helping him save himself and his daughter from his own nightmare of a cooking skill. You caught up with her a bit, chit-chatting in the dairy isle, laughing and reminiscing while Joel patiently waited, happily listening to stories about you from this wonderful woman who had been so kind to you and Allie, his saviour, over the years.

The happy reunion was interrupted by an exasperated ‘mom’ from the end of the isle, followed by the gunshot-like clicking of some stilettos. An annoyed looking Tanya walked towards her mother, infuriated to see her talking to you, but immediately changed her expressions once she realized Joel was there with you.

Joel immediately went on your defence, pulling you closer to him, remembering the things this woman had said about you all those weeks ago. He had been getting phone calls from her at the office, but his secretary had always managed to fend her off, thank God. Apparently she had tried making appointments with him too, sending him chocolates and flowers, with some ‘romance themed notes’ as his secretary put it. He told her to never entertain anything from Tanya. He had no interest in talking to her ever again.

She gave you the nastiest of looks, enraged that what Sarah said turned out to be true. “So, it’s true then, you two are together? I thought you were better than this, Mr Miller, taking in a rat from the streets to live with your daughter? Whoa…” she began, but her mother turned her cart around and pulled her along, turning around to mouth ‘sorry’ to you. Tanya aggressively pulled her hand away from her mother, shooting you a poisonous glare over her shoulder before finally following her mother.

You and Joel stopped for ice cream after the store. He finally asked you what was going on between you and Tanya. You gave a resigned sigh before answering. You didn’t know exactly. She was your best friend. Until you turned 16 and got together with Jimmy (did his shoulders stiffen at the mention of Jimmy?). She had never showed any interest in him until the two of you got together. And all of a sudden everything became a competition between the two of you, although you were never aware there was one.

When you parents died, she began with her passive aggressive comments. Oh, college was amazing, sorry you couldn’t afford to finish, oh, graduation was a blast, sorry you didn’t graduate. Oh, I got a new boyfriend, sorry you were stuck raising your little sister. Oh, I got a job at the company you worked for, the office, not the floor. Sorry you were stuck with such a low salary; you should’ve put Allie up for adoption and gone to college! You endured it, because you didn’t want things to be awkward with Mrs Anders. She was always kind to you. Tanya was never home; the old lady was lonely. So you and Allie sort of filled in. Tanya didn’t like that. Didn’t help when Allie started school and stayed the few hours after school at their place.

Allie had a smart mouth, you told him, to which he nodded, sounds about right, he muttered, smiling. So as she got older, she would retaliate with Tanya every time Tanya had something nasty to say about you, going all out to defend her sister. That seemed to get Tanya even more riled up, and when Jimmy joined the company (there’s that stiff shoulder again), and she failed to get his attention, she bullied you even more. Thank God everyone knew you enough to know not to believe her.

You ended your story with a shrug, all in a day, you said. It’s just words. She’s unhappy, so she took it out on you. Every word she said was a reflection of her own unhappiness, so you try to not let it bother you.

Joel found himself liking you even more, gazing at you with such admiration you blushed and turned away.

That evening, his parents called to say they were keeping Sarah overnight. She had fallen asleep after playing in the pool all day, and they didn’t want to wake her. He took a deep breath and decided tonight was the night he was going to be brave and take this opportunity to spend more time with you. So he crossed his backyard and knocked on your door, asking you if you would join him for a movie. Maybe we order pizza?

You heartily agreed, happy to spend more time with him. Besides, you were a single lady on a Saturday night, no one was ringing you for a good time. Why not?

He ordered two pizzas and set up the movie. The two of you sat next to each other, eating, drinking and laughing, having a jolly old time. When the pizza was gone, sitting turned into lying, shoulders nearly touching, tummies full from pizza, eyes heavy from the feeling.

That was when the movie turned… heaty.  

You shied away from him a little, trying to find something to do to ease your… ache? Yearning? You settled with wrapping your arm around your torso, anything to keep you from pressing yourself closer to him. He asked if you were cold, and you shook your head a little, but he took the blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over the both of you, shuffling closer to you in the process.

God, his body radiated heat. You gave an unthinkingly big sigh. He turned towards you a little.

“You okay?”

You nodded.

He looked deep into your eyes, shuffling closer to you. You could feel your heart beating in your throat. He called your name softly, taking your chin in his fingers, tilting your head up a little. He leaned in, closer and closer, eyes fixed on yours, and you closed your eyes, as did he, your lips so close to touching you could feel them on you.

Your phone rang, and the two of you jumped away from each other like some children who got caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

He gave you a shy smile as you looked at your screen, showing him that it was Mrs Anders. He nodded that you should answer.

You slid your thumb across your phone and said hello, but instead of Mrs Anders’ usual ‘hello darling’, you were greeted by the sounds of sobbing.

“Addie, it’s Tanya. My mom died.”

---

Part 10

[semi-senioritis]

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

GOKURAKUGAI TO RELEASE IN SPRING 2024!!? FIRST VOL ON APRIL 16!!!!!!

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Your Guardian Angel - Tokita Ohma Love Story ( Kengan Ashura ) ~ On Going

Summary:

Once, a great a fighter, yet unknown to the world, fell prey to his first defeat, and he lay on the ground, pitiful and broken, rained down and with ribbons of crimson leaving his body. A shy angel coming home found him and brought him to safety, mending his wounds and tending to his broken spirit, until he had regained consciousness. As he opened his eyes, and witnessed the first person to care for him, he made a vow to always protect her, with his fists, to repay her kindness. It was only then that Tokita Ohma's newfound hope was discovered, and he was ready to achieve his goal in life - To be the very best fighter there is.

Chapter 1 - The Healing Angel Chapter 2 - Debt Chapter 3 - Promise Of Reunion Chapter 4 - The Ashura and The Kitsune Chapter 5 - The Forbidden Technique Chapter 6 - Replacement Chapter 7 - I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES! Chapter 8 - The Betrayal Chapter 9 - Let The Show Begin! Chapter 10 - Strengthening Friendship Bonds Chapter 11 - Am I Wrong? Chapter 12 - Foxes Have Fangs And Rabies Chapter 13 - New Rules, New Moves Chapter 14 - Battle Of The Psychos Chapter 15 - Distress Chapter 16 - Unlikely Best Friend Chapter 17 - The Kitsune Chapter 18 - Le Petit Empereur Chapter 19 - The Return Of The Queen Chapter 20 - Ken Doll and Barbie the CEO Chapter 21 - 👑Kengan de Huángdi👑 Chapter 22 - Crimson Spider Lily Chapter 23 - The Connector  Chapter 24 - Wǒ Qīn'ài de Húxiān Huánghòu