#Thinking again
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,your former “purity”
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would you guys support me if i wrote an accompanying novel to goncharov (1973) 😔😔😔
#thinking again#about them#since we never got a proper script yk#goncharov#ace rambles#tw unreality#unreality
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man isn’t it wild how easily we accept cesare’s role as “the monster” when like. that is literally just a disabled guy. who got deeply screwed over by his psychologist. he’s literally just some dude
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"but what about queer cops!" no self-respecting queer would choose to become a cop. next
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I love fics that use the Distortion to time travel, just because of the implication that that’s a thing the Distortion can do. Like it makes sense with the whole ‘time isn’t real’ vibe it has going on. And also I like to imagine Michael Distortion experiencing time wrong because that has so much potential.
Like Michael learning he will never be the one to kill Gertrude right after being betrayed, because he experiences the aftermath of her death instantly. Knowing about Sasha’s death before he helped her. Getting used to acting like he knows people, because he knows his first meeting with them likely isn’t their first meeting with him. Being unable to change anything that’s already happened, knowing what’s coming because for him it’s already happened. Knowing that he was going to die during his confrontation with Jon, because he can’t go any further forward than that, telling his story because he knows this is Michael’s end and Michael wants someone to know before he dies.
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something something paper origami boats being destroyed by what they were made to be in something something
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Oh, that new episode of Doctor Who is amazing. The characters are fantastic. I love the chemistry between the Doctor and Rogue. I suddenly desire to write something about them, as I've had a few ideas pop up and I can't get them off my mind.
Ugh. I just started working on Two/Jamie Pride things the other day. May have to put that on hold for a moment. But not for long. I gotta finish those, too.
#thinking again#twojamie#writing#fanfic#fifteen x rogue#see what happens when i watch stuff like this#puts strange ideas in my head#like imagining i'm a writer again#trying to shake those feelings#but the urge is so strong#self indulgence time
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sometimes i feel like there’s something wrong with me. i don’t connect with god and i have no desire to, but i see people my age so happy to know him and it feels like i’m missing something.
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Sighs
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I can’t think of anything more horrible than being perhaps the most powerful creature in existence, and you can’t even create anything unique. You just destroy and regenerate the same shit over and over and over again for hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of years until the bitter embrace of entropy eventually engulfs you, and by then your only companion is a slug monster of your own making that can’t move, touch, communicate, or do anything but just slither through your cold mechanical belly of silicon and machinery.
Truly one of the more miserable ways one can exist.
#ihnmaims#AM#i have no mouth and i must scream#thinking again#ramblings#character study#literature#pondering a
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i just remembered my Intership/Luz isnt evil AU, but i hadnt done anything with brink in that one yet but like. He also wanted to be an intern/hero right? I can make Internight Brink a real thing if i want to.
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anybody else feel like their father deserves the electric chair
#thinking again#i cant get over the fact that he started molesting me when i was four#he had it all planned out in his head... i was five the first time i was raped. six when he started trafficking me#he had a game plan for this shit. i dont know how else it would be perfect 1-year increments#i was just a little girl#thats what kills me the most. i was so little. i look at pictures of myself from that time and i am so small.#and i look like im afraid of everybody. afraid of cameras. i dont know.#its just. i wish that just one person had realized something was very wrong there. it wouldve only taken one person.#but i was too afraid of him to tell so would it have really done anything?#i try not to think about it too often because i cant change it & wishing i could doesnt do anything but. it still hurts i guess#even if i dont blame my moms side of the family for not realizing either#milo murmurs#csa vent#the fact that i was four when it started and 12 when i got out also fucks w me a lot tbh#that felt like the longest period of my life. it WAS my life for nine years straight#thats. almost a decade of abuse. and thats so hard for me to comprehend even though i lived it
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I'm clawing at the walls and crying like a wounded animal!!
#thinking again#about mp100#obvi#ALSO! MY FAVORITE AUTHOR(?) IS RELEASING THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS OF HIS NEW WORK TOMORROW!!#he told me that it was so different from my favorite work of hers and that makes me oh so scared#excited and scared#terrified in fact#but ALSO so incredibly excited#ik i said that already but i cant think of any other words that mean the same thing right now
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And our destiny is what we learned together wanting something more vs who will be the one to save our destiny do u guys see my vision
#black veil brides#bvb#set the world on fire#vale#maeve.txt#thinking again#pondering even#valeposting
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