#They're not all assholes I promise
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I will be the first to admit I'm not the best at drawing animal or furry characters, but I wanted to get something scribbled down in my Non-Goof style, anyway. Plus, I've been enjoying the many reference pages folks were posting of their own designs for the Lamb and Narinder, so, uh. Here's mine, I guess! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
do not comment on how long narinder's tail is or i swear to the lamb i will make it even longer next time >:]
#fanart#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#narilamb#tagging the ship because Your Honor They're Married#teeny tiny lamb and big boi narinder is my weakness leave me alone DX#i gave narinder a stupidly long tail because my own cat has a stupidly long tail and i make fun of him for it all the time#this is important to me for A Reason - which is that i enjoy adding even more reasons for people to make fun of narinder#he is my special boi and my poor little meow meow and thus i must violently shake him like he's the world's shittiest maraca#why else would i give him a long majestic cloak but then just have him wear a stupid turtleneck tunic under it and no fukken pants#there is no way that asshole has any sense of fashion - he has been out of touch with it and reality for at least one (1) millennium#anyway narinder's cloak can definitely be pulled closed to look like his standard in-game attire#also shh the lamb has plenty of wool to cover them and thus doesn't need any Censor Leaves#do NOT cite them for public indecency because that is racial discrimination against sheep and thus It Is W R O N G#btw i know i draw the lamb kinda cutesy-feminine but i promise you their gender is an eldritch void#VOID I SAY#what's in their pants? a knife#the time knife specifically (that's the eldritch part)#it might look like narinder has yaoi hands here but that's just because he's Bein' Spooky#i swear i headcanon him with normal size hands XD#also i finally drew scars on his wrists!!! i DO headcanon him with those but i try to keep designs simple in my Goofs Style lmao#once again i should be asleep
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People still making posts about how reylo is '100%' just people who want to self-insert to fuck the 'bad boy' in the Year of Our Lord 2024.
When will I know peace.
#when will people actually watch the movies are realise reylo is the fucking plot?#Rey's arc cannot be separated from her feelings for Ben you fools you clowns#he and their connection drive her character development#when she stares mesmerised and speechless at his pretty face and pretty hair#when she shipped herself to him with her mascara on#when she batted her eyes and made pouty lips while promising to save him#and when she kissed him on the mouth for ten full seconds#these were subtle hints that she likes him actually#I came across a post where a bunch of smug assholes were pontificating about how all of the ~problematic~~~ gothic b&tb ships were#dumb fangirls who don't understand they can/are too cowardly to self insert#do you ever get so annoyed you want to set yourself on fire#love how they're wrong about Rey about Ben and about shippers all at the same time#skill
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Stayed up way too late drawing a followup comic for what I posted on my art account. I looove these fucking idiots
#originally it was gonna be kinda sweet but I think what it is now is more in character#fight fight fight fight#i love these assholes. they tried. they don't get a gold star though their star is blood fucking red#I am once again talking about Sara and Shin. predictable.#god I need them to kill each other I'm so sorry I need them to be cruel and awful and evil at each other actually#yes I am still delusional about them becoming friends#i just think they should go about it in an awful and lowkey codependent way#you are the person I hate the most and also the only one who can ever understand me#you antagonized me at every turn and yet I feel responsible for helping you because it's the only way I can forgive myself#you terrify me. you remind me of the most sickening man I have ever known but he was the only person who ever loved me#i want you dead. if you died i would never forgive myself. if i lost you then what would i have left in the world. fuck you.#hnngghvggh. nornal guy behavior.#none of this is romantic i must make this clear. it is all a weird evil form of platonic.#also i think it's funny that this grown ass man is beefing mostly one-sidedly with a 17-year-old. i would never.#I'm gnawing on them like chew toys. I'm putting them in water and playing with them like they're orbeez.#putting them in my brain water and watching them expand like those foam animal pill thangs and then tearing them up#I promise I'm normal. I'm a normal guy. I'm so average. literally the normalest guy you've ever met.
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honestly glad those people aren't in my life anymore, just sad it took me so long to find out none of them were worth having in my life to begin with.
most regret spending my own precious resources on them, especially that cunt. they were so concerned I wouldn't take the things I bought for them back after they were so vile to me and lied about me to our "friends", and yet they still stole books and clothes from me and tried to steal my fucking cat. the one I was around for from the time she was born and given to me personally by my sibling. when my older baby was dying from cancer and had less than a month to live left. they wanted my fucking cat cause they felt she deserved her and didn't start screaming at me that I was abusive until I told them no
#kon speaks#i dont vent about this often i promise#just on my mind again#if anyone from that group is stalking me#fuck off 💖#they're an asshole and lied to everyone to cast me out cause they didnt like me anymore#cause i was tired of being nice when they were actively treating me like shit#I'm tired of keeping my head low about it that was fucked up on all counts
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The way women experience horror is so much more interesting than men
#I am so serious about this#I am listening to a horror podcast with 3 guys and 1 girl and first of all she gets way less talking time than the others#She's excluded from convos more often than not#And THEN they discussed their fave Slashers#FAVE = subjective#And all the guys had the same three in their to three because they're 'influential'#(so Halloween/TCM/Scream/Nightmare Movies)#And she was like: these fave lists are pretty old -> was shut down IMMEDIATELY#Then she presented her list and got absolutely zero feedback#I am a. Mad about how she's treated#But also b. SHE HAD BLACK CHRISTMAS IN HER TOP 3 YOU FUCKING UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS WHINING ABOUT INFLUENTIAL HORROR MOVIES#BLACK CHRISTMAS DIDN'T EVEN MAKE YOUR TOP TEN#Next time you talk about movies I sure as hell hope you ALWAYS mention journey to the moon because it's 'influential'#Anyway thinly veiled attempt to shut down people (women) with differing opinions#(I swear to god I am in a discord with these people and the host of this pod is so awful)#(I said I expected Evil Dead Rise to be more bloody and he went on a whole rant about kids these days expecting the new Terrifier)#Absolutely full of himself asshole who thinks his opinion is the only valid one#Filmbros are so disgusting#Hatched from the Brain#(Btw I expected the movie to be bloodier BASED ON THE TRAILER)#The trailer promised me things that did not happen (eg. The Eye scene)
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one thought before i disappear again but i really fail to understand damian fans' logic or interaction with canon on any level like your entire engagement with him as a character relies on a bastardization of every person around him. i don't see what worth there is in comparing how dick and bruce are comparatively written as parental figures in damian's life when your primary basis for analysis is canon from a writer who believes (1) dick shouldn't be in a relationship with kory bc he's happy-go-lucky and hates drama; and (2) bruce's life as a hero naturally culminates in fascism. neither of these are good faith takes on the characters involved so how can you place any value in how either of them are portrayed to interact with damian by way of that. and obv this doesn't even get into the plethora of talia issues which i have essayed about to the point of exhaustion. like idk i get that i can't make people hate a character obv lol and for many damian fans that attachment is there bc they read about him when they were young but i still don't really understand what there is about damian to be invested in once you're an adult who realizes he is holistically built on character assassination and racist stereotypes that he is inseparable from. like you can't really analyze his interactions with anyone without the context for those interactions being shoddy writing of someone else and i know that can happen in comics a lot but it happening in isolation is different from it forming the entire basis for a character
#to be deleted#like idk the parental comparisons wrt damian make my eye twitch. you are arguing about bastardizations this is USELESS..#the fact that people genuinely believe bruce being written as an abusive asshole who would tell his child to his face that he doesn't like#him or treat him like an alienable object bc he didn't raise him himself and was turned into an animalistic assassination is just#so deeply insane to me like i get people don't like bruce sometimes it upsets me sure but the reasons are there but this just#feels so extreme bc it's literally built on the most egregious bastardization of bruce ever that refuses to even#acknowledge how deeply he loves and wants to help children not to mention how excited he was when talia was pregnant#and to be honest. to be HONEST. new teen titans dick would not have been able to stand damian at all#they do have some of that snark and dick is clearly annoyed with him when he has to take damian under his wing but like#it's ridiculously tame compared to how new teen titans dick would have reacted to someone so loath to team work#dick went to bruce's house when jason died and asked point blank why bruce put an incompetent kid out in the field#he's severely poor when it comes to tact and i'm not saying developing a relationship with damian would have been impossible but#it would have taken time and it would have taken time bc of DICK needing to adjust. not the other way around#dick is good at being a leader and taking charge when all the parts of a machine work in synchrony#what he's not good at is being faced with deviations from expectations esp when they cross the line with his morals#idk i know this is starting to sound like a bruce apologist dick hate post but it's really not i promise i just#i feel like people deliberately misunderstand their demeanors and expectations ESP in context of how they're written with damian#and bc when they're written with damian is at a time in dc comics where their respective character trajectories are practically#opposite to what they were twenty years ago rather than feeling like any kind of natural progression
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dying from a fatal lack of fanfic updates
#its my own godamn fanfic too#like i just want to know what happens#but to do that#i actually have to write it#i think the next chapter is just going to be#basil crying#because he exposed aubrey as gay#and now she's getting bullied#but it was necessary i promise!!!#because now they're both bullied#she can stop being an asshole#and boom they can be friends again#also now that everyone knows she's gay she can get a girlfriend#lesbian aubrey my beloved#i need to tell someone all my plans for this fanfic#asher says stuff
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rewatching good omens s1 is like....... this is not even good why did i like it..
#i habent read the book in forever so i hope that's as good as i remember#im just. this doesn't really work as a show it makes it annoying#i hate the stupid narration#and for a show that's supposedly sooo queer it felt aggressively straight#Shadwell and Tracy? barf. why. he shouldve got his head smashed 4 being an asshole old man not a slay jezebel reformed into his chaste wifey#anathema and robin? DOUBLE BARF. literally yuck and FOR NO CONCEIVABLE REASON. so shoehorned in and forced ewww#pepper was right. another deluded victim of the patriarchy#crowley and aziraphale are fun at least they're good. and gay#so im watching it all for them#i do love them#i watched episode 1 of s2 and it was kinda boring but i guess it has promise so. we'll see#op#good omens
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anyway from now on every generic wizard design is a reference to microsoft merlin and microsoft merlin only
#logic.txt#i promise ill stop talking about this now alfadlfj#im still reeling over that fuckin reply#'factually incorrect' 'narrow frame of reference'#bud have you SEEN ena#yes surprise surprise; merlin's design IS a generic wizard design but the specific choices for ena's wizard very strongly remind me of#merlin. the best thing about it all if they just didn't decide to be an asshole i would've agreed! im just excited about the similarity!#there was literally 0 need to call me dumb and double down on being needlessly rude#they're a grown-ass adult to boot; which is why im still not over it
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so tired of "cool kid" cliques bc the kids in it often aren't even cool, just assholes, and they're also usually boring as fuck w 0 talents besides maybe sportsball.
#im so BOOOOORED OF YOU#*glares at the recent shit going on on twitch*#and any of the people praising those idiots are the same idiots who'd do anything to be part of the clique meanwhile never truly being#invited. i promise they will never welcome you. they've made their personality into being assholes and bc they're so convinced they're#right to judge people that way their confidence convinces other people#truly these people need to be smacked and brought down a fuckin peg so they know they cant keep propping themselves up as super special#you're 'cool' but you cant even fight i bet huh bud#all those muscles and for what.#for fucking what.#often if you strip these people of their conventional eurocentric attractiveness (yeah frogan looks white idc what you say lmao)#no one would think they're popular and would just find them to be stuck up assholes.#not sure who needs to hear this but a good way to actually judge people correctly is to imagine they looked like the least attractive perso#to you. and then listen to the shit they say. and then come and tell me how cool and fine it is actually and how you totally listen to#other streamers who are less attractive who say the same shit and you're totally totally not just following what hasan says all the time#bc you think hes attractive. thats toooooooootally not the reason. surely not. esp for these fandom brained far left idiots. surely not.#😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 yall are so fucking transparent lmao.#theres a specific person ik that if i could force her to see hasan as ugly and then start listening to him i might actually be able to get#through to her. bc ik for a FACT thats the only reason she likes him. ik her too damn well lmao.#tell me about how you totally listen to mikefrompa as well as hasan and aren't inherently repelled by whatever he says bc you find him#less attractive. im begging you to try to lie to me about that.
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Ugh I'm annoyed... My boss keeps hiring random marketing "experts" that keep meddling with my ads. This time he initially said they're only going to optimize the online shop, which is whatever to me, cause I don't do SEO and online shop structures and such. BUT! Of course they want to take a look at my Google Ads account as well... Like, can they not? These fuckers always act so high and mighty and think I don't know shit. Well, turns out so far my ads have always had better results than those of any marketing "experts". I don't want to have a meeting with them... I really don't care about their irrelevant opinions...
#oh how i loathe marketing companies with a burning passion#they think just because they're throwing in random technical terms that they're the shit#worst of all are those located in berlin or other big cities#always act like they're the greatest gift to humankind since sliced bread#🙄#and yeah a lot of them are misogynistic assholes so i have to deal with that as well...#like honestly instead of paying those idiots a huge amount of money#my boss should finally get me the help he has promised to hire a year ago#THAT would actually make my work easier and more productive#but no... for some reason we don't have enough money for that 😑#well at some point i'll be completely fed up and look for another job#and my boss can go cry in a corner i don't care anymore#ok rant over 😔#midnight thoughts
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i know it's been done many times before, but i just love gross weird creepy awkward simon and his cute harmless bird.
like she's so intrigued by him, so infatuated with this odd man. she giggles at his dark humour and crude jokes, a genuine smile on her face as her shoulders shake from laughing so hard while he's huffing out a sound of amusement of his own. meanwhile, everyone else has an uncomfortable look on their faces, giving them both judgemental stares.
he's the type to tug her close to him and kiss her nasty, uncaring if they're in a public setting. he sucks on her tongue and spits in her mouth, a big hand reaching down to squeeze her ass before disappearing up her skirt. he doesn't really care if others watch or not, and he grips her tight when she tries to escape, swallowing all her squeaky little noises with a satisfied hum.
there's no shame when it comes to him. he lets her know when he's going for a piss and asks if she wants to come, not bothering to close the door (he demands that she leaves it open when she goes too; it's only fair). he uses her hand to jerk himself off when she's busy or not in the mood, heavy groans rumbling from his chest because it feels so much better than rutting into his rough hand—not as lovely as her soft, pretty cunt though. he lets his tongue dip low to lap at her asshole and ignores her whiny protests, promising he'll make her feel good in a second, groaning to himself as she grinds against his face.
ughhh he's just so unusual. sometimes he stares at her too long for it to be considered cute, dark eyes burning into her very soul for so long that she has to remind him to blink. he corners her just to get a whiff of her perfume, heavy breathing down her neck like he's getting worked up just from smelling her.
when he comes home from deployment and tells her about the things that happened while he was away (lost one of my good knives in tha' prick), she's sitting pretty on his lap and chirping out her responses, urging him to tell her more. she says it's good for him to get it off his chest, but really she likes hearing his gruesome stories. it makes her heart flutter that he's so skilled and competent.
others have come up to her asking if she's okay and if she's aware of the weirdo following her, and she's like "yeah that's my man :)" she tries her best to drive them away before he starts sulking over yet another person interrupting their parallel play.
she just really loves how strange and off-putting he is.
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I LOVE UR WORKK
ANYWAYS MY REQUEST IS
how mha guys are in bed when they're mad or jealous 😋 (please include shinso im begging 🙏)
-💕
JEALOUS, JEALOUS, JEALOUS BOY!
☆ includes: midoriya izuku, bakugō katsuki, todoroki shōto, kirishima eijirou, shinsou hitoshi, takami keigo.
☆ warnings: 18+ content, fem! reader, rough sex, mild degradation.
☆ notes: TY FOR THIS REQUEST NONNIE <33 jealousy is such a turn on!!
— IZUKU gets particularly energetic whenever he sees someone getting a little close to you or being flirty. he nicely pulls you away from the person and glares at them, but then he’s all jittery with pent up irritation and energy. he uses your pussy as an outlet, as soon as possible.
“feels so tight,” izuku whines into your neck as he ruts his hips against you, his cock head pounding into your gspot fervently. “i-i’m gonna fill you up—ugh, fuck!—and you’re gonna walk around and keep it inside you.” you bite your lip hard, head falling back against the wall of his agency’s staff room. you’re standing on one leg, pressed against the wall, one leg hiked up and being held by izuku. “i promise i will, zuku, just cum inside me, please!” the door is halfway open and his hand clamps over your mouth in an attempt to keep you quiet so you’re not discovered in such a compromising position. sweat runs down his forehead, and he grips you harder, determined to send you to your meeting late and dripping with his cum.
— KATSUKI is explosive, of course. the moment he sees someone getting friendly with you, he’s quick to snap at them and kiss you hard, then fuck you later. he asks for sexual affirmations while he’s railing you so hard you can barely breathe.
“you like it when i bend you over like this, huh baby?” a hard spank to your ass makes you whine loudly, your pussy clenching on katsuki’s thick cock. “i love it, katsuki!” your head hangs down weakly, and you look between your legs to watch yourself get fucked. a mixture of your slick, his spit, and his cum from early drip down from your hole, and his balls smack against your clit while his cock pistons in and out of you mercilessly. “how’s it feel, takin’ my cock like this?” dazed from the pleasure, you don’t answer as quickly as he expects you to, and his hips stop instantly. “no!” you exclaim desperately, starting to babble thoughtlessly. “it feels better than anything, katsuki.. please don’t stop fucking me, i need you so bad.” “go ahead and beg some more for me,” he laughs a little, his balls clenching at your words.
— SHŌTO is a little passive, talking neutrally to the person who’s getting too close. the second you’re both out of sight of others, he kisses you hard and makes out with you. while fingering and teasing you, he sucks dark hickeys into your skin.
“sho, don’t think about that disrespectful asshole, i—” strong arms pull you close, right into his chest, and sweet lips shut you up before you can say any more. letting yourself savor his touch, your eyes close, and shōto’s tongue slips between your lips with practiced ease; his kisses are controlled yet wanting. you whine shakily when his hand slips into your pants and into your underwear, his fingers brushing at your already sticky slit. shōto transitions, his lips moving to your neck eagerly, and he begins to suck at the supple skin. “oh, that feels good,” you whisper when two of his fingers press inside of you, another massaging your clit. “i wish i was inside of you.” he bites down on your skin particularly hard and you squirm. “later,” you say, palming his cock through his pants and pressing closer to him. “for now, mark me up.”
— EIJIROU is friendly when he pulls you close, kissing you in front of the person who’s making him fight a war internally with jealousy. but he’s actually angry, wondering how they hadn’t seen you together before they started getting flirty with you. so, he makes you suck his cock to help him get over it.
“can i suck it, ei?” you feel yourself salivating at the sight of him gripping his hard cock through his pants, the outline sending heat through every inch of your body. “hmm, okay,” he shrugs, slowly sliding his pants and boxers down his thighs. his tip is messy with precum, and despite his nonchalance he’s desperate for your mouth. wanting to tease him, you wrap your lips around him and very slowly take his length into your mouth. but eijirou’s hand pressed against the back of your head gently before he slams you all the way down. immediately, tears well in your eyes and you choke, your throat tightening. his crimson eyes roll right into the back of his head, and he twists his fingers in your hair, yanking you up and down on his cock. “let me use your pretty mouth, baby. this is what it’s for, isn’t it?” he groans when you tearfully look up at him, nodding. “fuck, take it deeper.”
— hitoshi is clearly unhappy when you return to him after purposely engaging with someone flirty, in hopes of him seeing you. he becomes uncharacteristically rough with you when you’re in bed together, and reminds you not to act like that again (but now you want to even more cause you love the way he treats you).
“i bet you talked with him like that on purpose, just so i could fuck you like a slut.” he spits, his hips pounding into yours, pace quickening by the second. one of hitoshi’s large hands slowly wraps around your throat, and he squeezes lightly, then harder when your eyes roll back. “i-i did, toshi! don’t stop, please!” he groans, his head tipping back, and his free hand pushes your knees into your chest harder. you’re folded into a mating press and tears well in your eyes, the pleasure overwhelming. you gasp, “i’m so close! hitoshi, you’re gonna make me—” and his free hand slips between your pelvis and his, and his fingers start to rub at your swollen clit. you grab his hand that’s resting on your throat and look at him with such desperation that he squeezes your throat hard, drawing gasping moans from your lips. hitoshi’s cock throbs when your pussy tightens, and his fingers fall away from your clit, and he slaps it instead. “no, you don’t get to cum until i do.”
— KEIGO swoops in, says “she’s mine, dude” and literally picks you up and flies off. overall, he’s pretty laid back and doesn’t get jealous, but when he does, he fucks you in hearing/seeing distance of the guy. for example, on a rooftop, in a nearby alley, etc.
“fuck you, dabi!” keigo shouts from the rooftop overlooking the man, his wings spread out and buffeting strongly. then he wraps an arm around your waist, pulls you against him and into a kiss. “kei,” you murmur against his lips, “i’m already ready, jus’ want you inside.” he almost cums right then and there, and before you know it, he’s yanking his clothes off and tugging down your shorts. your panties are pushed to the side hastily, and he’s quick to push inside you, but even faster to start fucking you. “be loud for me, baby,” keigo bends you right over, so you’re looking out at the city’s skyline and over all the roads. you’re shaking already as you mewl in pleasure, arms trembling as you try to hold yourself up. “keigo!” you moan, wanting to scream at how deep he’s fucking you. “good girl,” he whispers, “let the whole city know i’m making you feel this good.”
#kurooh#💕#wrote this despite horrible chest cramps#perhaps they were a punishment for not answering this req sooner..#mha smut#mha x reader#bnha smut#bnha x reader#kirishima smut#kirishima x reader#deku smut#deku x reader#bakugou smut#bakugou x reader#todoroki smut#todoroki x reader#shinsou x reader#shinsou smut#hawks smut#hawks x reader#midoriya smut#midoriya x reader#mha x you
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Sad sacking
#i feel like i only have one topic of conversation at the moment#and it's boring people and making them uncomfortable#but I don't know how to stop#my asshole husband being an asshole is almost the only thing i can think about#and it's making me crazy#the kind of crazy that is needy and clingy#and that's not fair#i'm so tired#and i just want to be held#but no one wants to hold me for long enough#(or if they do they're too far away to do so)#I was spoilt by a particular person holding me recently#that's really what I want back#but I've made it weird and burnt that bridge#so instead I'll stay awake until 3am writing fanfic-esque memories of our time#we promised no feelings#i think I have feelings#and I don't know what to do with them#i just want this all to be over
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bartender ghost who takes one of your tables who was argumentative and rude after you begged and bargained with him (he only caved when you said you’d ask soap)
Omg he'd totally think he could make you work for it too - you come up grumbling how table three is being so rude and they sent the food back twice, and they're treating you like you spat on your food or something.
"They'd be much nicer if you took them." You say, leaning over the bar.
"An' why's that?" He replies, pouring the contents of a shaker into a salt-rimmed glass.
"You look like you could set them straight."
"'N that's a good thing?"
"You're not afraid to be mean!"
"You jus' smacked the life out of four uni kids last week."
You huff, dropping your forehead against the bar. "You're mean..."
"Y' jus' said I was."
"Pretty please?" You beg, looking up at him. Simon has to steel his gaze to the shaker, pouring liquor and bitters and ingredients into it as he refuses to look at you. You got him last time with this trick - he'd caved like a tower of cards. But now, he's prepared. His eyes don't meet your pout (or your breasts pushing up against the bar), instead focusing on the drink before him.
"Not happenin." He says, shaking the drink with a strong arm. "This is your job, remember?"
You sigh and give up the act. "You can't even say anything to them?"
"Like wot?"
"Like- I dunno, just go as them 'is everythin' ok?' Like you do, you know, all scary."
He chuckles. "Ya got t' stand up for yourself, luv. Can't fight your battles."
You groan in defeat just as Soap pops out from the kitchen, placing two plates of food in front of you. "Got tae bring out yer own scran, Bonnie - 'm not yer food runner."
"Johnny!" You exclaim before he can disappear back into the kitchen. He gives you a quizzical look.
"Could you bring it to the table for me?"
Simon stops pouring the drinks, frozen in his spot.
"I jus' said nae!!"
"Please? They're being assholes about the food-"
"Oi, lower your voice." Simon barks, and you shoot him an apologetic wince.
"They're gonna complain about the food again if you don't talk to them yourself."
"Bullshit, I'm not doin' tha'."
Ghost smirked behind his mask. Taught Johnny well.
"I'll give you half of their tip."
Soap paused. "Nae, gimme the shot where ye slap me after."
"Deal!"
"No- no deal-" Simon growled, putting his drinks on the bar. He's not letting you drench Soap in water and slap him across the face, because he knows the lad will be more turned on than a lightswitch. "Fuckin' animals you two." He grabs the plates, and glares down at you. "'M not doin' this for you again."
"I won't ask again - promise." You giggle, and he wants to be mad at you, he wants to hate the sound... but he'd make a fool out of himself a thousand times, over and over, just like this, to see you looking up at him with that smile - you know you've got him wrapped around your finger, he fears, grumbling as he goes to have a chat with the bothersome table.
#bartender ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley#ghost#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost cod#call of duty#cod x reader
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Thinking about how Wade got his powers from Logan and, now that they're roomies, that Wade might let it slip out one day.
---
They're arguing in the kitchen over something stupid. Logan is slowly getting more aggressive with chopping the onions while Wade is up on the counter top, kicking his feet while waiting for whatever is in the oven to be ready.
"You know you should really get less mad at me, peanut. If you're nice to me, you're nice to yourself!"
"I'm not Catholic, so don't try to guilt me like one, and don't you dare play any bullshit pranks on me today or I'll give you two additional assholes."
"Well, that's more holes to stuff me with, so I don't see a problem with that." And before Logan can go claws out and make good on his promise, Wade uses one of his many signature moves: the 'Talk Real Fast and Confuse Them Before They Can Hurt You' special.
"WHOA THERE THINK OF THE BABY!" He screams while grabbing a ladle to jam between the claws and up against Logan's knuckles, keeping him a distance away. "I got a little bit of you inside me! Also, Jesus, we're not making pasta tonight, so I don't want any blood over the food. I won't be able to pass it off as red sauce to Al."
"She's blind."
"But she can taste color."
He groans, and instead of responding to the latter joke, he focuses back on the first. "What's this horseshit about a baby?" He sighs as the timer goes off, and he sheathes his claws to put oven mits on and take the veggies out of the oven.
"I'm just saying some doctors injected me with your DNA!! Not unlike good ol' artifical insemination -- except into my blood stream! Sooooooo, instead of a baby, I got healing factor. Ergo," he said as he booped Logan's nose on a the last word, "if you're nice to me, you're nice to you."
And what Wade thinks is funny banter, quickly turns into a sobering conversation as Logan puts the tray on the counter, not saying a word. Before hissing out -- "...What?"
You can see behind his eyes so many gears turning in his head, and he's not looking at Wade in disgust, confusion, or pity. He's looking at him in guilt, which is not what Wade wanted or expected.
---
So yeah it's all teehee chuckle fucks until Logan kinda has a melt down about learning that the freaks who experimented on him used his DNA to hurt others too. That's the hurt, and the comfort is Wade just thanking Logan over and over again that he saved his life. He's physically alive because of him, and he feels alive because of him and the stupid domestic life they've made together.
#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#wade wilson#my post#poolverine#my writing
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