#and yeah a lot of them are misogynistic assholes so i have to deal with that as well... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

autisticandroids · 3 years ago

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@pingnova replied to this post:

One of the things I like the most about your interpretations of spn and destiel is that they're both "bad people" and that's interesting. I was explaining to a friend how I loved some comedies bc all of the characters are "bad people" so when the slapstick and pettiness happens back and forth I can just laugh at all of them. it goes further for me (all humans are flawed and probably seem irredeemable and disgusting to someone else, no matter what). but I have never…

…been into interpretation that relies on characters being "right" or essentially perfect and sinless. I find drama between sinless characters utterly boring and contrived. I like characters that are messy and human. its a good reminder for me about myself and makes entertaining stories. sometimes when i talk about a character friends mistake me for criticizing them because I talk about their flaws. nah, I think it's great they're assholes. they're fictional, the only..

...place I want to deal w assholes in my life. stories are just complex bad people getting tangled with other complex bad people. my fave spn character outside cas is Meg, to the shock of many. I have given up explaining it to most people lol. "but she's bad!" yeah ok I thought it was hot? and kind of funny. I don't feel like explaining rn. 😅

oh thank you! this is something i always put a lot of thought into. like, one of the things that frustrates me about fandoms generally is i think the rough edges tend to get sanded off characters. like, some characters are vilified, yes, but that happens as a result of other characters getting herofied. like, if characters we're meant to like and root for can't be mean and self-serving and destructive, then to create conflict, one must invent flat, cartoonish villains to pit them against.

actually, as a sidenote, i was talking to @spriteofmushrooms on the phone the other day and trying to come up with a working definition of "darkfic" and we ended up deciding that it seems to mean "fic where characters are allowed to have unacceptable desires and motivations." and that's not exactly what it is, darkfic is hard to pin down, and it has some stylistic and genre conventions that are its own. for example, the first church at the end of the world by @withbloodstainedclothingon is a fic i love, and a really vicious and uncomfortable and vicious character study on both dean and cas (but especially dean). it is also unabashedly darkfic, and the reason it expresses the things it wants to express about cas through cas running like a misogynistic cannibalism sex cult is because one of the conventions of darkfic is a kind of aggressive edginess. that isn't a criticism, it's just saying that had the fic been working in a different genre, the author might have chosen a different method. or another example, my fic i fold in half so easily and @twoheadedcas' fic samson went back to bed are both kind of similar in various ways. they're both attempts to take late seasons canon seriously, attempts to reconcile with the position cas is in re: dean and jack in the late seasons, and attempts to put cas through a meat grinder. and they're both, i would say, darkfic. i know for a fact i didn't really start out with ifihse intending to write darkfic, and while melanie (hiiiii) might correct me here, there's a good chance they didn't either while writing swbtb. these are just the places one is naturally led to when engaging with the late seasons seriously. but there's a big difference between ifihse and swbtb in terms of: i am, on the balance, a darkfic writer. a lot of my fic is out and out darkfic, and even when it's not it tends to contain darkfic stylistic habits. @twoheadedcas has written a bit of darkfic in their tenure, but on the balance, they mostly write non-darkfic. so if you compare ifihse to swbtb, despite their tonal similarities, and despite the fact that both were written (in my opinion) primarily as pure reactions to canon, ifihse has some of the hallmarks of being a darkfic (in particular the emphasis on cas' erotic pleasure and his discomfort/ambivalence about it; darkfic tends to be even smuttier than normal fanfics and that smut tends to be both kinkier and more inclined to play with the lines of emotional comfort and consent), while swbtb has some of the hallmarks of being a non-darkfic (the best example is dean and cas sharing a sweet almost kiss in the middle, which is absolutely a classic destiel fic thing). this is actually one of my favorite things about samson went back to bed: in darkfic that is written to be darkfic, no matter how seriously and genuinely it engages with canon and the characters, there will always be the feeling that there is a finger on the scale, tilting characters to be just a little nastier, grosser, more evil. but non-darkfic is usually skewed the other way: the characters are skewed to be more comfortable and palatable. by aligning itself with non-darkfic, samson went back to bed legitimizes the dark interpretation of canon it presents by saying "i am not skewing things to be worse. i might even be skewing things to be better. and yet we're still here." which i think is cool.

but that's kind of the crux of the thing, isn't it? most darkfic is just a twisted mirror of most non-darkfic. instead of flattening characters to be better than they are, making them paragons of virtue, it flattens them to be worse than they are, making them cartoon villains. obviously, this isn't true of all darkfic, i am a great enjoyer of darkfic and frequently write it myself. there's plenty of good darkfic out there. but if sturgeon's law applies double to fanfic, it applies triple to darkfic. and i think it's because there is this inability, in fandom, to imagine that these beloved characters could be bad people. which means that non-darkfic tends to portray them as flat heroic figures. but it also means that darkfic tends to start from the premise "haha what if (character) was EVIL" rather than recognizing the ways they already kind of are (and the ways in which they are good, as well). both non-darkfic and darkfic frequently hold this black and white mindset, it's just a lot clearer in darkfic because darkfic always sets out to engage with darkness, whereas a lot of non-darkfic is just about things other than whether characters are "good" or "bad," and even when it's about characters' morality, it's usually less contrary to the canon, so there isn't as much emphasis on it or time spent contemplating it. so it's less in your face.

but yeah. i put a lot of work into taking the characters of supernatural seriously as complex and morally suspect people. that's what's fun to me. i find the other way kinda boring. i'm glad you enjoy what i'm selling :3.

(for some supplemental reading check out this post by @astermacguffin)

#spn #pingnova

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ur-fav-alien · 3 years ago

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More s4 Billy thoughts.

I'd like to think that Billy would be forced to stick with the kids when the older kids have to go into the upside down, but he not happy about it lol. Like during that whole scene where they're all getting into the boat and Billy starts getting into the boat, but Eddie stops and says:

"Yeah no- this boat can barely fit like 4 people, okay? I doubt it's going to fit 5." And Billy look it's not like Billy wants to go into the upside down, like that's probably the worst place for him to go after the Mind Flayer situation and the fact that he's cursed by this Vecna asshole, but he does not want to be with these stupid kids. He wants to be with his boyfriend.

So he starts saying that Nancy should stay with the kids because "Isn't it like in your nature to be good with kids?" and Billy might be a little misogynistic because he has mommy issues and still an asshole to people who he doesn't really know. That little questions gets Nancy all riled up and she says "No, actually I'm not. Steve has the best expierence with them, Steve should stay with them if you really want to go."

"Steve needs to stay with me."

"Well we can't have both of you gone."

"I doubt you give a shit if I left, you just want Steve."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're still in love with Steve."

And everyone kinda has an 'oh shit' moment, like even the kids are shocked that Billy just said that. Nancy has this offended look on her face, Robin and Eddie look like Billy just killed someone, and Steve looks like he wants to kill himself. Steve apologizes to Nancy really quickly and excuses himself to talk to Billy alone where he drags Billy by his shoulders back into the woods.

Steve's shocked about all of this with his "Are you kidding me? Why the fuck would you say something like that? Nancy doesn't even like me anymore, she's dating a whole different dude! And just 'cause he's in California doesn't make they're over with. And even then, why would she go for me again?" And Billy retorts with, "Are you fucking with me right now? She's been on you this entire fucking time! When she waved at you at that crime scene, when she helped picked spider webs out of your hair and said 'you're all pretty again now', and how she wanted you to join her and robin on their little fake identity adventure at the pysch ward. She. Wants. You."

"If she does want me, what's the big deal? It's not like I'm going to go back to her."

Billy kinds shuts up at this, his lip twitches and he starts looking everywhere, but Steve's eyes. Steve finally gets like, like a lighter being flickered on, the flame has finally lit up in his brain.

"Billy do you... do you think I might go back to her."

Billy shrugs, not having the balls to answer the quesitons truthfully. "I don't know... I mean... I've kinda been a lot for you to handle-"

"What!? Are you kidding me? I've dealt with 4 sassy ass children this past year- 6 of them just last year and you think you're difficult to handle?"

"Don't lie-"

"I'm not! Yeah, sure, you're panicked nightmares keep me up but I like comforting you. I like the fact that I can comfort you. You have no idea how much I love you, no idea." Steve's holding onto Billy's shoulders really tightly because Billy likes it when Steve holds him in place, gives him a sense of grounding. "And if I'm honest... I don't like the idea of you going down there at all. With everything that's going on I'd feel much better if you were up here."

Billy dwels on this for a moment before finally letting out a annoyed sigh. "Fine... whatever." Steve's eyes shine brightly. "I'll stay, but I swear to god Harrington there better be a 6 foot pole between you and Wheeler or I will strangle you with these headphones."

Steve thanked him for being understanding and they shared a super sweet kiss super romantic blah blah blah. They come back to the group and Billy (slightly) apologzies to Nancy. Being forced to by a nudge with Steve's elbow and a glare from Max.

The older kids finally got on the boat and Billy threatening told Steve to stay safe or he'll "revive you only to kill you again you fucker!" Steve blew him a secret kiss.

And yes, Billy did stare at Steve's chest hair with Max. The two started fighting over the binoculars. They'll disagree a lot, but they'll agree on one thing, Steve Harrington can get it.

Billy doesn't get caught by the police because are you serious? That dude has ran from the police on several different occasions and won every single time. He finds out that the older kids have dissapeared, freaks out for a second before realizing that he needs to get the kids back. He goes back to that reefer rick guys house but the cops are looking through the car they used so he can't use that but he does find a motorcycle in reefer ricks garage and goes fucking crazy with it. (I just like biker Billy and I think that would be really hot cool of him) This leads to Billy going to the Wheeler's house, seeing Dustin through Nancy's window and becomes s1 Steve Harrington. The kids update him on everything and he shares a quick hello to Steve who gives him a "hi :)" back with an "I'm okay" to soothe Billy's nerves because Steve knows his boyfriend. And everything is mostly the same but that scene where the kids are all riding their bikes away from the Wheeler house, but with Billy in the front of their group on the motorcycle and it looks like some wack ass bike gang. I love that I'm sorry.

#max everything is going to be okay #billy hargrove #the party #steve harrington #harringrove #Oh and cuz I like Ronance #Steve would be the first one out of the portal cuz Billy cussed at him to #leaving Robin to comfort Nancy when Vecna tries to get her.#when Billy dies due to his injures in s4 Max just goes on this rant of apologizing to him for not noticing Neil's abuse sooner #El isn't that close to Billy but is obviously aware of how insanely distressed Max is and revivies him #that how we get hospital billy #And in the creel house Max is just repeating to Billy how she can't lose him again #Billy's just telling her that he loves her and everything is going to be okay #his last words are because he doesn't want his sister to worry about him #GOD WHY DO I MAKE MYSELF CRY

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arizona2004 · 3 years ago

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Courts of Love and Hate. Chapter 1

Nyx x OC-Juniper(Tamlin’s daughter)

Note: in this Nyx was born later than is canon(I wanted Tamlin to have a son about Nyx’s age and that doesn’t make sense as canon)

WC:3118

Request linked here chapter 2

Nyx

I swallow a heavy sigh as my uncle Cas goes on about the Spring court. We just returned from the annual high lords meeting, where everyone was supposed to discuss finally restoring the sacred mountain in the middle so that meetings can be held there, but instead, half of the meeting was spent bickering and insulting one another, and I’m not proud to say the Night court was half of the problem.

I know there is a lot of history between the Night and Spring courts and that the Highlord Tamlin is largely at fault for hurting my family, but I can’t help but wonder about the unity between our courts. If there were peace between the north and south Prythian would surely have fewer enemies trying to invade. We should appear united.

I interrupt my Uncle to say as much while we all finally collapse in the sitting room. I feel my father's gaze on me but I’m too focused on the look of pride on my mother's face to turn to him and see what he thinks of my thought.

“What are you suggesting Nyx? A peace treaty? It’s not like we’re at war with Tim Tam. We just don’t like him,” Uncle Cas says.

“I just think, maybe if we started acting more civilly, he would too, and our future generations can be at peace with one another.”

“There’s too much bad blood between us.”

“There doesn’t have to be. If we make peace now, then we can settle this. I don’t know the full history, and my children don’t need to know any of it. Nor do the Spring descendants.”

“I’d like to agree with you, Nyx,” my uncle Az speaks up, “but history is important.”

“Yeah,” Mor says, “what if centuries down the line, the Spring court attacks us, making claims about the past as reasoning because they didn’t keep to the deal, and your descendants have no understanding of the feud between the courts?”

I plop down on the couch between my parents, giving in because they’re right: my idea was stupid.

It wasn’t stupid, Nyx, my father speaks into my mind, it just wasn’t the solution.

Keep using that smart head of yours, and you'll figure it out one day. You’re the future of all of us; we believe in you, my mother chimes in before they both return to the conversation.

I, however, ignore my family and let myself get lost in thought. I double-check my mental walls, ensuring the only crack is the one I leave open for my parents to speak to me as they please but not look any further.

I ignore them in favor of thinking of her. The one secret I keep from my family: Juniper.

She was at the meeting today. It took hell to convince her father, but he relented because “we aren’t discussing anything too unladylike,” apparently. That’s what she said in her most recent letter. I know she loves her father, but I also can tell he’s a misogynistic asshole who needs to get his head out of his ass. The only reason Juniper doesn’t hate him for it, I think, is because she doesn’t care much for court politics.

She worries about things like whether or not her shoes match her dress or if she accidentally made a spelling error in one of her letters. That’s what I love about her. She’s always worried about the little things and would rather be a writer than a Highlady.

I asked her once what she would do if she wasn’t a princess, and apparently that was an easy question. She would be a writer; she’d write books and poems and articles. She’s good at it too. She asked me the same question, but I have no idea what I would want to do besides lead my people. I feel pride when I come up with a solution to help my parents fix a court issue and joy when I hold a sword in my hand or pull from the well of power in my gut. I don’t get that feeling with anything else the way Juniper gets it when writing.

She says it’s because I was born to be a leader, but I’m not so sure about that. I’m not sure about most of the things I do when leading our court. My mother says that’s okay because it’s not like I need to lead the people by myself anyways, but my father was doing it at my age. I should know how to too, right?

As the bitter feeling of anxiety settles in my gut, I shake my head and try to return to my happy distraction. Juniper. She was wearing a mint green dress with darker green accents decorating it. And dark green slippers to match. Her long blonde hair fell down her back in thick waves, framing her soft face in gold. Her green eyes found my blue ones as soon as she sat down beside her brother. She looked away quickly, but I couldn’t. I barely get to see the face behind the letters, I was entranced until my uncle spoke.

“It’s impolite to stare,” Azriel's voice was quiet over my right shoulder.

“Oh, he’s blushing!” Cassian piped up more to the left. “Think she’s pretty, do you?”

After that, I only risked an occasional glance in her direction. Our eyes didn’t lock again until the very end when we all got up to leave, and I could swear she smiled. Just a little bit, a small tip of the edge of her lips. The image is ingrained in my head. Green dress, matching shoes, blonde hair tucked behind her ear, dark eyes piercing mine, pink lips tipped up in the faintest smile.

Kissable lips. Or so I imagine. The only time I was ever close enough to Juniper to kiss her I was a fumbling fifteen-year-old, and I accidentally fell on top of her in a dark garden.

That was four years ago now, and since she responded to my letter two weeks after our clumsy meeting, I have been helplessly in love. And desperately trying to hide it, terrified of my family or hers ever finding out.

I know my parents wouldn’t care all that much, they would understand that you can’t help who you love, we don’t get to pick and choose. They wouldn’t judge her based on anyone's actions but her own. A scared little part of me, though, wants to keep her all to myself, away from the prying question and curious eyes of my aunts and uncles.

She’s my secret, and I want to keep it that way, so when my uncle Cassian says my name in the same sentence as hers I panic.

“Nyx’s cheeks are all pink, he’s probably thinking of Princess Juniper again.”

“I am not!” I immediately defend myself, trying to figure out what everyone was talking about while I was daydreaming.

“You seem awfully defensive,” he says, smirking.

I defer. “You can’t think about someone ‘again’ if you’ve never thought of them at all.

“You’ve never thought of the Spring Princess? Not once?”

I shake my head.

“Well, that’s concerning. How can you never think of anyone at all and still know who they are? Is your brain ticking properly?”

“You know what I meant, Cas! I don’t sit around thinking about her. Ever.”

“Okay, okay,” he says, putting his hands up. “There's no reason to get angry; I was just teasing.”

“I’m not angry,” I say, trying to calm down and hide the frustration building in my chest.

“Your hair’s on fire, sweetheart,” my mother chimes in.

Fuck. This happens sometimes. I’ll get mad or anxious, and what looks like black and white flames start burning to life atop my head. At first, my parents thought they were just dark and light shadows that would show up when I was emotional, but they quickly learned it was more like fire, hotter than any other fire known to fae. My father has the scars on a few of his fingers to prove it.

Neither of my parents moves away from me, but I know they must feel the heat radiation from my head at this close distance. Dad places a comforting hand in between my shoulder blades while mom holds my hand. The flames flick out of existence.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I was just frustrated.”

“It’s okay,” Cas starts to say but changes course as I stand, “don’t leave, Nyx. Everything's fine.”

I walk out of the room anyway and quietly walk up to my bedroom for the night. I hate losing control like that.

Juniper

Falling onto my mattress, I feel light. Like I’m floating on a cloud. My heart is fluttering in my chest, and I can’t help the grin that stretches my face. I wrote to Nyx just before the meeting, so I can only assume he’ll write to me next. I just can’t wait for the letter to arrive. I’ll sit in my room all day tomorrow and wait for the black crow to arrive at my window if I must. I never thought such a dark bird could bring me so much joy.

I’m still dreaming about what life with Nyx could be if our parents just got over their differences when a hand waves over my face. I sit up abruptly, not having noticed anyone enter, and incidentally get smacked in the face.

“Shit, Juniper! Are you okay?” my younger brother, “I didn’t mean to hit you, but honestly it was kinda your fault.” I glare at him. “What? You sat up into my hand.”

“Whatever,” I grumble, rubbing my face. “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk to you,” my older brother-Kai- says from the end of the bed.

“About what?”

“The meeting today,” Kai says, settling at the foot of the mattress with a firm expression.

“Yeah,” Oak adds, crossing his arms and attempting to mimic the glare.

“What about it?” I ask, kicking off my shoes and avoiding their eyes. “It was rather boring and…unmannerly. The Highpeople insulted one another half the time. Especially our father.”

“You just don’t understand the history between our families. There’s so much hate and blood. The Night Court has done cruel and unthinkable things to us.”

“Well, if I don’t know the full history, then tell me, Kai, explain it so that I may understand.”

“Yeah!” Oak perks up at my side.

“No,” he says, remembering Oak is there. “Father would not want you to know, and you,” he directs his attention to Oak, “are far too young.”

“I’m twelve!” Oak grumbles. He and I are relatively close in age, only six years apart, while Kai is 14 years older than me. For fae, though, that’s still pretty close.

“This is not what we came here to discuss. We’ll table this conversation for another time,” which just means he’s never going to bring it up again, and it will not be discussed.

“I thought this was what we came to discuss. The Night court being evil and all that?” Oak asks while scooting more onto the bed, pushing me over.

“Well, sort of, yes. Juniper, we couldn’t help but notice, at the meeting, you noticing the Night Prince.”

“No, that’s not right,” Oak interrupts, “I noticed him; he’s hot. Juniper was ogling him!”

Kai starts to speak up to tell Oak not to say things like that, but I interrupt him, “I was doing no such thing!” I defend. “He was just sitting right across from me. I couldn’t help but see him every time their Highlord or Lady spoke.”

“Hmm,” is Kai’s only response while piercing me with a glare that makes me want to spill all of my secrets. I swallow the lump in my throat, though, and force my body to relax. “Whatever the case was, we came here to tell you you ought to stay away from him.”

“He’s bad news, so don’t get any romantic thoughts,” Oak adds, pointing at me sternly.

“If you are thinking about romance, I’m sure father would let a nice spring lord court you. Many of them ask about you.”

“I’m not looking to find a husband right now,” I tell Kai sternly, “Certainly not with any of the lords.”

“Why ‘certainly not with any of them’ they are good males.”

“I’m not attracted to any of them. Romantically or otherwise.”

Kai's cheeks pink slightly as he looks at me with one of his stern, protective expressions, “You ought not be attracted to anyone otherwise unless already romantically.”

Of course, he would be naive enough to think I only feel romantic attraction. “I can be attracted to whoever I please. Besides, it’s not entirely my choice, more of a bodily response.”

Kai goes even redder. I’m sure he cannot fathom why he is having this conversation with me. “Juniper, you cannot-”

“Relax Kai. I said I felt attraction, not that I act on it. Besides, I don’t want to.”

“Good. You shouldn’t,” he says sternly and thoroughly. I know part of it is to protect me. I wonder if he’s also insisting because I’m a woman, and ‘it wouldn’t be proper’. He’s hypocritical like Father in that way sometimes. I hate it.

“What are we even talking about?” Oak asks, slightly confused. “I thought there was only one form of attraction.”

“And what kind was that?” I ask curiously.

“The one that means you like someone,” he says helplessly. A smile quirks my lips, and I notice one on Kai’s too.

“There is the attraction that means you want to court someone. And then there is the attraction that means you want to-” Kai stops, searching for the right words, but Oak offers a suggestion of his own.

“Fuck them?”

I choke on air, a blush running up my neck, while Kai turns ten shades of red. “Where did you learn a phrase like that?” he asks.

“Heard some of the guards talking about it,” Oak supplies, which I’m sure upsets Kai. He’s tried to keep Oak as sheltered as possible. Kai is somewhat like our father but tries to keep as far from being like him, I’m not sure why, but he seems to want to keep Oak a happy faeling for as long as possible.

“Come on, Oak,” Kai says, pulling our little brother from the bed. “This is not a topic I planned on discussing with you yet, but if I must, then so be it, but it is not for our sister's ears.”

“Okay!” Oak jumps to attention, happy to learn what it means to ‘fuck’ and I say nothing, knowing it’s for the best to let Kai think I know nothing about sex.

That night I can’t help but lay in bed a little late, my thoughts running back to what Kai said earlier and the insults exchanged at the meeting. What happened between our courts?

Eventually, I fall asleep and wake early in the morning to a slight pecking on my stomach. I open my eyes to find a crow sitting on me. This isn’t the first time this has happened, so I don’t panic, I just untie the letter from its ankle and watch the bird fly away.

A smile quirks as I open the letter and remember what I wrote to Nyx after that happened the first time. Your bird rudely woke me this morning. He sat on me and pecked me awake before dawn.

His response made me laugh. It always does. Whenever I’m outside, and a letter arrives, your bird sits on my head and tries eating my hair.

I’m still not sure I believe him, but it makes me laugh anyway. I open his newest letter, not bothering to even roll out of bed. He goes on for pages about how lovely I looked at the meeting. I can’t help the blush or the feeling of pride that fills me. I spent days planning my look; I’m over the moon that he liked it.

He answers questions from my last letter and doesn’t mention anything about the meeting beyond how happy he was to see me again. I can’t stop thinking about the feud between our courts, though. So after I respond to everything else in his letter, and mention how dashing he looked yesterday, I bring it up. It’s just a few questions. I’m sure he understands I probably know a lot less than him about the history, and I’m curious as to what his court's side of it is.

I call over a Cardinal and tie the note to its leg before releasing it with directions to Nyx. Then I form a plan for breakfast while dressing. My lady's maid comes in mid-way through me getting ready and doesn’t even bother to scold me for getting ready without her; she gave up on that years ago. Instead, she picks up where I left off and sends me down for breakfast with my father and brothers.

I sit through the beginning of our meal quietly, as Kai and father speak about something, and work up the courage to ask my questions. When silence fills the room with the end of their conversation I know it’s probably the only chance I’ll get.

“Father, I was hoping to ask a question,” I say before I can chicken out.

“Yes?”

“How- how did the former Highlord, before you, die?” he stops and looks at me shocked and probably annoyed by my asking.

“Why would you ask a question like that?”

“I only noticed it wasn’t in the history books I have. Several of the other Highlords’ deaths are mentioned, but not his.”

“It is not in the books you learn from. He died with the rest of my family: my brothers and mother. Killed by the current Highlord of the Night Court and his father”

“How did his father die?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“I killed him,” he snaps, struggling to reign his anger in. I should stop asking questions, I know I should. And the look on Kai’s face is begging me as much.

“But why would they kill your family?”

He freezes at that question, staring at the food on his plate for a few moments before looking up and piercing me with a cold stare, “Because they wanted to, Juniper. And the Night court thinks they’re entitled to everything they want. Stray away from thinking about them!” he growls, making me tense in my chair. “You’re dismissed. Go to your room.” I don’t hesitate to stand and practically run from the dining hall.

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #Feysand #a court of dreams #NYX #adult nyx #nyx x reader #nyx acotar #nyx archeron #Courts of Love and Hate #series #multichapter

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wilhelt · 2 years ago

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Lamenting how homogenous the average group at a commander night is. Tends to be a lot of very sexist/homophobic white guys in their 20s-50s and it makes for a really uncomfortable atmosphere for people like myself who are neurodivergent and queer. Luckily, at the one local shop, I have friends who accept me for me and are very nice, but I also have to contend with guys who say shit like "stop begging you look homeless no one wants to trade with you, just admit you're too poor to buy cards" in regards to one of my friends bringing his trade binder and asking if I had mine along. Last time I checked bud, the acronym "tcg" stood for trading card game, but what do I know. 🙄

I guess I just wish there was a local place where a larger and more diverse group of people could play together irl without dealing with assholes that storm out after screaming at a teenager that beat their $2000 deck with a precon. And I definitely think a lot of that falls back on the shop owners for not making bad apples leave and giving them consequences, but I think there's also a bad stigma around the game which acts as a disincentive for more groups to join in. When there's a common assumption that mostly only nerds and neckbeards play the game, whether it is a fair assumption or not, it tends to be dismissed as worth playing for anyone falling on the outside of that group.

I know it can also be a financial barrier, so I'd also like if more people embraced just helping others build decks instead of having mentalities along the lines of "Well yeah I have 4 of those, and they're worth $25 if you buy them from TCG Player, so I'll give you a discount at just $24.50 a card if you need one." Obviously it's okay to want to make your money back, but I think there comes a point of pure greed where there's no point in hoarding cards you probably have no intentions on selling at a local shop or online in favor of trying to capitalize on scamming other people. And it sucks when people gatekeep the game with this financial obstacle. I wouldn't have gotten into it originally had my dad not been kind enough to take the time to show me the mechanics, let me test his decks, and then sit down and build one together with me. And it's a pricey one, I know, but it's cool because he got me some staples I can use across multiple decks by just proxying cards if need be. His main play group have even given me cards (like Scarab God or Farewell or Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite) for free just to help my decks be on par with theirs! Which is awesome! His main MTG buddy even built me a deck for my birthday last year with a dinosaur tribal theme, and it's AWESOME! In turn, I got him the Warhammer Necron deck later in the year when he couldn't find it at any of the card shops he frequented. This is the sort of community we need, I feel.

Back to proxies for a second; don't even get me started on proxies in the game. You have 2 main groups of bad actors with them. Group A is the group that feels even if it's just a casual match, you can't have any proxies and you're a piece of shit for doing so and therefore not worthy of playing with them. And Group B LOVES proxying all their cards with really weird furry and/or anime porn which like. Okay that's your choice, but it definitely doesn't belong in a public all-ages commander night when it just makes the already tense atmosphere more uncomfortable. I'm bisexual, I use custom tokens with some really hot women on them because yeah I love how they look, but they're horny at best and nowhere near pornographic or misogynistic, and if someone asked I not use them, I'd oblige. (And because I'm fair I also use tokens with hot men 😌)

Sorry for all of this ranting. I love MTG, but it's definitely a game with a specific audience and I wish there was more of an effort from Wizards to appeal to more people rather than shove new sets at us every 60 seconds. (Yes I know there are queer characters in canon, but MTG is a game where you don't even need to know canonical events to play it, so that feels more like an effort to placate than an effort to incorporate more diverse identities into the game. And no racial stereotypes don't count as being culturally diverse, but that is a whole other can of worms.)

If you read all this thank you! Be nice in the comments section or be blocked. Reblogs are okay :3

#mtg #magic the gathering #magic the gathering commander

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dashflashy-arts · 3 years ago

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Those days I have been thinking, do you think that Sheldon Lee from MLaaTR is misogynistic, sexist or chauvinistic? No hate towards him, he is one of my favorite characters but I was just wondering if he is.

hoooo boy...

I ended up ranting so uh. I'm putting them under the cut. Keep in mind that it isn't targetted on you! I appreciate that you recognize his flaws and all, I just become rly expressive at these things ; w ;

Honestly? I think he's neither of those. Instead, he's just a teenager with a big fat crush and has the tendency to deal with it in a very stalker-ish, unhealthy, and problematic way.

It's understandable to mistake him as misogynistic, sexist, or chauvinistic when looking into some of his actions because those were really extreme and all kinds of wrong. (example: stealing Jenny's blueprints to find out how to "get to her heart") BUT if you actually paid attention to his character and behavior in the show, you'd notice that he's not misogynistic, nor is he sexist or chauvinistic. He didn't steal those prints because he thinks Jenny is inferior to him. Neither did he do it to "put her in her place". He just wanted to figure out how "get to her heart" (<- his exact words)

Because that's the thing: He's in love with Jenny just the way she is.

He puts her on a pedestal and knows just how great she is. He's just hoping really desperately that she'd feel the same, to the point he did those problematic things I wish the writers should've not written in.

With that being said, is he a creep? yes. Is he a stalker? yeah. Is he a misogynist? no. Is he a sexist or a chauvinist? if he was, he would've been an asshole and demanding to girls now, wouldn't he? But NAH!! Sheldon didn't show any distaste or hatred towards girls or women. We literally see a GIRL amongst the bullies tormenting him in his first appearance.

As I quote from his words upon reacting to Jenny: "you're like captain crush, but only better"

this isn't a "oh you're a girl, a perfect wife for me" it is "you're awesome like captain crush. But you're also a girl! that's so cool it's making me have feelings for you"

He's a nerd that can recognize a girl's worth

"Oh yeah? if he does, then what's with that episode of paying one of the bully girls to date him to make Jenny jealous?"

Like what you said: he paid her to do his crappy bidding. There was something in it for her. Had she said no, I'm pretty sure he'd leave her alone and find some other girl who's willing. Please remember that this entire thing is an act done out of desperation (which had always been his motive to do his problematic actions to win Jenny). Had Sheldon been a misogynist/sexist/chauvinist, he would have done this in the earlier episodes AND had asserted what he wanted to do with the girl (whether she wanted to or not). He also wouldn't have done this to get Jenny's attention if this were the case.

"How about that time he fantasized about Q.T.2- "

Jenny had a nightmare of the same thing where she's an exhausted housewife too. That's not exclusively a Sheldon thing. And come on: Let's be real.

There are so many "A young couple in love turned into an unwanted marriage where the girl becomes the begrudging pregnant housewife while the guy becomes the neglectful wife-hating husband that does nothing but read the newspaper" jokes done in the 2000's, MLAATR isn't excluded to this. I don't know why the MLAATR crew keeps putting them in the show. Maybe it's to be satire, or it's to mock the false perception of romance, or perhaps because they think it's funny (it rly isn't ://). It doesn't change the fact it's a joke made in bad taste.

There's a lot more he's done or had experienced which are dumb or unpleasant, but I won't get into them. Because I don't think Sheldon's behavior and character in the show is the main factor in mistaking his personality.

if anything, I think the real reason as to why it's easy to mistake him as misogynistic/sexist/chauvinistic is because of how the majority of the community and (ESPECIALLY) the show treats him. Never mind that he made Jenny uncomfortable by stalking her. Nevermind that he did really cruddy things that could be reported to the authorities, he's our lovable nerd 🥰

It's an issue I think is still present with fictional characters today (take note: Marinette Dupain-Cheng). Wherein a very dangerous trait is often ignored because of the dorky charisma the character has. It's funny in shows or fiction, but it's not pleasant in real life. Would you want to be stalked by a "lovable" teenager who has a tendency to take your things for their own benefit? don't think so..

I can somewhat forgive the show though. Because even if they treat Sheldon this way, at least it also punishes him harshly for his awful actions. Regardless if Sheldon DID realize his mistake, apologize for it or not.

While it's important to take note of a character's awful behavior or portrayal of their behavior, I think it's also important to realize just what the character in their entirety. Yeah, Sheldon did those bad things, but that's not the only thing he did. There are moments when he truly felt guilty in his bad decisions and admitted to it, and there are even moments when he didn't react like a creep to Jenny. A notable episode of this is the fashion episode, wherein the whole time he had been what I think is what he truly is: a sweet, dorky nerd with a big fat crush.

....Ok so um... what to take out of this?

I'll repeat this: Sheldon's neither a misogynist, sexist, or chauvinistic

He's in love but got some unhealthy tendencies when dealing with it, most likely because he's socially inept or because he never got attention before and is afraid of losing it.

He doesn't immediately recognize his actions are unacceptable until it gets too far.

He's not a truly bad character though. He's proven in other episodes that he genuinely likes Jenny and has the potential to grow out of his creepiness

People are allowed to hate on a character, but they need to recognize when a character is really a misogynist/sexist/chauvinist or just a teenager that makes really, really, really s/tty decisions (because the writer/s makes them do it)

I rest my case

#ask #asks #oof Dash done it again!#I'm gonna finish my other ramble too just you wait #mlaatr #sheldon cooper lee #sheldon lee #my life as a teenage robot #mlaatr sheldon #anonymous #anon

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karmacharmeleon18 · 4 years ago

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I just need to get this off my chest, so please ignore it if you don’t like criticism of Andrew. Lately I’ve seen several people react to an old comment Nora made about Andrew, a comment that makes perfect sense to me, but has enraged and keeps enraging most of the fandom:

Nora: “Andrew is a misogynist but Renee and Bee are helping him get over it.”

Me: *thinks about the fact that due to his past experiences, Andrew does not trust women and actively dislikes them on principle; he most likely thinks they’re selfish and mean spirited; he actively threatened and harmed Aaron’s ex girlfriends in high school and threatened Katelyn as well even though she’s never harmed Aaron that we and Andrew know of; he hated Tilda and killed her; he hates Neil’s mother and would have killed her if given the opportunity; even after years he still does not trust Abby and threatens her when she tries to come closer to him and Neil in the hotel scene, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have hesitated to hurt her; he almost kills Allison for slapping Aaron. Yet he does not show the same extremely aggressive and almost lethal behaviour towards men, not even when Matt punches Kevin or when Nicky oversteps boundaries with Neil. He does threaten them with knives, but I for one never got the feeling that something bad was really going to happen to any of the guys (while for a moment I seriously thought he was going to snap Allison’s neck); on the other hand he gets Matt off drugs, lets Kevin in into his family, protects Nicky and Aaron at the cost of his own health and life. He almost chokes Kevin because he kept the truth from him, not because Kevin is a guy and he got too close to his family. Renee is the exception because she is similar to Andrew and understands him; Bee is another exception because she was possibly the first adult to actually listen to him* Oh, yeah. That makes sense.

Fandom: omg how dare nora say something like that about my precious soft baby boy Andrew!!!

...

Listen, if a white person came up to me and said: “Because of my trauma I don’t trust black people, I really dislike them and actively try to harm or even kill any black person that comes near my family. But you and one other person are the exception!”... yyyeah I’d still consider them racist.

Now switch white guy with Andrew, black people with women and you and one other person with Renee and Bee.

So yeah, Nora’s comment makes total sense to me. I also tend to trust the author that created the character to know how said character truly is and what they feel and believe.

The same way I trust canon Aaron who makes homophobic comments any chance he gets, over fanon “omg homophobia? never! i’m on my way to the pride right now!” Aaron.

Let the Foxes be flawed. Let them learn to do better. Or not. Some of them will always be flawed assholes.

Ok, back to Andrew.

I’ve read most of the extra content so I know that during Andrew’s last year at Palmetto, he takes a new goalie, Robin, a girl, under his wing and into his family. When she doesn’t feel at ease with her roommates, Andrew lets her move in into his, Neil, Nicky and Aaron’s dorm room (Kevin having graduated with Matt the year before). He gives Robin his top bunk bed and shares a bed with Neil for the whole year. The locker room couch that was once occupied by Neil, Andrew and Kevin is now occupied by Neil, Andrew and Robin. Aaron introduces her to Katelyn and the two become close to best friends. Once he graduates, Andrew gives Robin his knives (Renee’s knives). Nicky gives her the key to the Columbia house, which becomes a sort of Fox House away from campus. Once Neil is left without the cousins – without Andrew – he and Robin become connected to the hip, and the bond will last for the rest of their lives. Neil turns Robin into a Class I athlete. The Foxes – not the upperclassmen’s Foxes under Dan’s guidance, with Matt’s good humour, Renee’s quiet dependability and Allison’s confidence – the cousin’s Foxes, with Nicky’s raucousness, Aaron’s aloofness that becomes almost friendliness thanks to Katelyn’s bond to Robin, Neil’s damn mouth that never shuts the hell up and causes only trouble and his obsession with Exy, and Andrew’s harshness, these Foxes save Robin’s life and give it new meaning. And it’s all thanks to Andrew.

(here’s the proof: https://korakos.tumblr.com/post/126963695002/i-definitely-recommend-just-skipping-this-post)

Andrew makes so much incredible progress. Don’t take it from him.

Andrew and Neil are full of flaws, they’re assholes, they’re harsh and rough, they’re not delicate or soft. For a long time, apart from holding hands, most of the touches they exchange are sexual in nature, because they don’t really know how to be gentle, but are learning. It takes them years, it takes them having their own apartment and the cats occupying the whole couch for Neil to sit in Andrew’s lap just to be close, with nothing sexual behind it. They don’t hug. They don’t say I love you. They don’t get married.

And most of the fandom can’t accept this. They can’t accept that someone can heal and get better and be content with their lives without getting married and declaring one’s love and having a bunch of children.

How many times have people complained that “Nora said Andrew never heals or gets better!” when it’s not true? But she said that Andrew and Neil don’t say I love you (because those words don’t really have a meaning for them, actions mean a lot more) and don’t get married (because they don’t need vows and a piece of paper, their promise to be together - that this is it for the both of them - is implicit, is silent, is made real every day that they wake up side by side), and that’s the same thing, right? She said that Andrew will learn to be content with his life, but that he’ll never be happy in the way most people understand happiness, which means that he must be miserable, right?

I swear, some of the stuff I read is so ableist. In so many fics Andrew and Neil’s canon personalities are completely erased, or their trauma eradicated, made into something more aesthetic and easy to deal with, or their behaviour towards one another and towards the Foxes completely changed into something that the writers deem normal, and digestible, and acceptable.

I often read fanfictions where I’m left thinking “Who are these people? They are not Neil and Andrew. Why write about them if you completely change everything that they are?”

Andrew and Neil are imperfect human beings and that’s ok.

I think we should accept characters for who they are instead of telling the author that she is wrong about them.

I don’t want you to think that this is a defense of Nora as a writer. Gods know I dislike the way she stereotypes Nicky, the ableism, the racism, the way she handles mental health, abuse and trauma (she herself admitted that she has a problem where she only sees characters as interesting if they suffer and are abused and traumatized). I will not be buying any more of her works unless someone I trust tells me that her writing has improved on these issues. But I will never say that she doesn’t know her characters just because I can't deal with my faves having flaws that aren't cool and aesthetic.

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg #nora sakavic #ableism

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tea-and-la · 4 years ago

Text

“Katara is Hot-Headed”

.... okay, so i’ve seen this ICE cold take enough time to warrant a formal post. i’ve seen and strongly agree with the posts i’ve seen that refute this, like @shewhotellsstories post here. but unfortunately, this sentiment is still something that’s widely accepted in the atla fandom. it’s no surprise that “katara is hotheaded” is the common argument for “why zutara doesn't work.” and while it’s more than irritating that zutara antis love to align them in ways that are only negative in nature, i’m not going to get into that. i’m going to focus on katara.

one of the key defining aspects of katara’s personality is her patience. she is unwavering in her faith of aang (through their numerous supportive talks), as well as her encouragement of her friends when they need it (ex. toph in the runaway and sokka in sokka’s master.) but most notably? let’s talk about the desert episode because this is where katara’s patience really shines.

there are a lot of things going on in that episode. aang is dealing with grief from the loss of appa and lashes out at both toph and katara while also intermittently flying away from the group. what would a “hot headed” or quick-tempered person do in this situation? let’s look at some of the dialogue:

aang: [Enraged.] How could you let them take Appa?! ‌ Why didn't you stop them‌?!

toph: [Defensively.] I couldn't! The library was sinking! You guys were still inside and-

aang: [Snaps at Toph in a harsh way.] You just didn't care! You never liked Appa! You wanted him gone!

aang looks extremely furious at Toph as Katara walks over to him. She puts her hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down.

katara: We're all concerned, but we can't afford to be fighting now.

in that dialogue, katara inserts herself in to mediate. she recognizes that he’s in a dark place, and she sees past the harshness of his words to see that they come from a place of hurt, not malice. she reacts with empathy and understanding.

a quick-tempered person would not have responded in this way.

the majority of this episode, katara is essentially the leader of the group. it’s swelteringly hot, which is enough for any hot headed person to get irritated, but she doesn’t.

toph: Katara, can I have some more water?

katara: Okay, but we've got to try to conserve it.

sokka: [As he points to his mouth.] We're drinking your bending water. [He tries to define the taste of the water, smacking his lips. Disgustedly he exclaims.] You used this on the swamp guy! Urch!

toph: It does taste swampy.

katara: [Sad tone.] I'm sorry, it's all we have.

in this scene, even momo complains about the taste of the water, the only water they have. and katara’s response was to apologize for something she can’t control.

after this point, she has to lead toph through the sand, while sokka is high on cactus juice and aang is upset. instead of getting frustrated, she tries to inspire hope into them all:

aang: [Hopelessly.] What's the difference? We won't survive without Appa. We all know it.

katara: [Encouraging.] Come on, Aang. We can do this if we work together. Right Toph?

toph: As far as I can feel, we're trapped in a giant bowl of sand pudding. I got nothin'.

katara: [Hopeful.] Sokka? Any ideas how to find Ba Sing Se?

Sokka and Momo lie side by side on their backs, arms and legs stretched out. Sokka smiles blissfully.

she does get annoyed, but she doesn’t direct that frustration at any of them, unlike a quick tempered person would do.

katara: [Grabs her head in annoyance.] Ugh ... We're getting out of this desert, and we're going to do it together! Aang, get up. Everybody, hold hands. We can do this. We have to.

the point of these excerpts isn’t to say that anyone else in the gaang is horrible. i just wanted to point out the moments when she could’ve gotten frustrated and lashed out, but didn’t. not once.

patience and quick temperedness are antonyms of each other. and imo, the fact that so much of katara’s character is defined by her patience (even outside of this specific episode) and nurturing (for over 80% of the show) is enough to refute her “hotheadedness.” especially, when the other members of the gaang are allowed to be upset and/or angry on occasion and their dispositions/temperaments are not immediately associated with hotheadedness. maybe unpack why that is.

let’s take the instance when she and toph argue in the chase. first of all, this episode is characterized by all of the members of the gaang being sleep deprived (i.e. not in their normal states), so their attitudes should be taken with a grain of salt. (what humans do you know that are happy-go-lucky when they haven’t slept enough?)

anyway, the episode starts with katara attempting to lightly hint to toph about group dynamics.

katara: So Toph, usually when setting up camp, we try to divide up the work.

toph: [Shrugging casually.] Hey, don't worry about me. I'm good to go.

katara: Well, actually what I'm trying to say is, [Holds arms out in gesture.] some of us might fetch water, while someone else might set up the fire pit, or put up the tent. [Momo flies over to her, dropping several berries he had collected into her hands.] Even Momo does his fair share.

toph: [Breezily.] Katara, I'm fine. I can carry my own weight. I don't need a fire, [Pats bag.] I've already collected my own food and look, [Earthbends a rock tent over her.] my tent's all set up.

katara: [Slightly irritated.] Well, that's great for you, but we still need to finish

toph: [Angered.] I don't understand what's the problem here!

katara: Waves her hand dismissively and walks away.] Never mind.

from the above excerpt, she drops the issue and doesn’t lash out. later, she even goes back and tries to make amends with toph. she even tries smiling before she heads over there.

Cuts to Katara, who sets down a jug of water. She looks over at Toph, sitting comfortably beneath her earth tent. Her dull expression changes to one of slight happiness. She approaches Toph who is eating some sort of food item.

katara: [Rubs back of head sheepishly.] Hey Toph, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I think we're all just a little tired and getting on each other's nerves.

toph: [Casually.] Yeah, you do seem pretty tired.

katara: [Growing disgusted.] I meant all of us.

Cuts to shot of inside Toph's earth tent as she lazily tosses the food item onto the ground and lays her head down to rest.

toph: Well, good night.

katara: [Slightly irked.] Good night.

none of her mannerisms and word choices are characteristic of someone with a temper. despite toph’s slight unintentional antagonistic remarks, katara doesn’t react.

later, after they managed to evade the azula’s tank train for the night, they land appa. and katara tries, again:

toph: [Leaping off Appa and lying on the ground, relieved.] Ah, land sweet land! [Rises and says cheerfully.] See you guys in the morning!

katara: Actually, can you help us unload?

toph: [Points a finger at Katara in irritation.] Look! I didn't ask you to help unload my stuff! [Turns and begins walking away.] I'm carrying my own weight.

katara: [Angrily.] That's not the point. [Approaches Toph.] Ever since you joined us, you've been nothing but selfish and unhelpful!

toph: [Enraged.] What? Look here, sugar queen, [Points finger at Katara.] I gave up everything I had so that I could teach Aang earthbending. So don't you talk to me about being selfish!

the only times when katara reacts in anger that could be perceived as impulsive, is when she is insulted by Pakku and when Sokka suggests that she leave the Fire Nation town without helping. Both of these are hardly instances of hotheadedness, and moreso a reflection of who she is as a character: someone who doesn’t turn her back on people who needs her and someone who fights injustice.

why would we call katara hotheaded for not settling for being antagonized by a misogynistic asshole? she was a trailblazer in that scene and it meant so much to the little girls of the Northern Water Tribe. similarly, why would we call her hotheaded for not being able to turn away from people who are in need? after all, that’s a core part of her character’s trauma: feeling of survivor’s guilt that there was something she could’ve done to save her mom. it’s part of why she has to act to help others. her passion isn’t synonymous with hotheadedness.

#pro katara #atla #i'm tired of seeing this take #like i truly don't care of you hate zutara or not #but please stop saying that katara is hotheaded #it isn't really consistent with the show #the only times i can think of are when she attacks jet when he comes back #and when she does the same to zuko when he tries to join the group #i mean they both betrayed her so she was right to feel angry #none of her anger was irrational #and implying it as such kinda has uncomfy vibes

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redjennies · 4 years ago

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Not to be kinda down in the dumps (and I totally get if you don't wanna answer this bc it doesn't match the hype beauyasha vibes we've been feeling lately) but I'm finding out that there was a lot of hate in the twitch comment section during the show to the extent that Laura, Matt, Tal and others had to stop them. Do you think people would be sending the same amount of hate if it was another couple, say fjorester or Caleb x Astrid, who got an hour long special date? Like I get that some people don't want to watch an hour long rp date and would prefer plot progression and that's totally fine. But do you think this hate is bc people didn't want to watch an hour long date or was it because people didn't like that it was beauyasha (a wlw couple) getting the attention? I'm just kinda confused it the hate was from people not wanting to watch a date or if it was just blatant homophobia

I'm gonna be honest I don't know jack shit about what goes on in the Twitch chat or on Twitter. I've heard slurs got dropped in the chat, which I wouldn't be surprised by because people are homophobic/lesbophobic af, but I haven't seen anything actually documenting this and I'm not super keen on looking for it so while I doubt it's hearsay, it could be hearsay. in general, when it comes to things like homophobia or racism or misogyny, I tend to assume that shit like that is going on because people are goddamn terrible. I'm sure some people were just blatantly being homophobic because I know people are. I deal with it pretty much every day and am keenly aware of its existence.

but I also do think some people whining about the date might have not been purely motivated by sheer blatant homophobia. some fans (read: men) get annoyed by the romance arcs because it's "girly bullshit." some people are probably whining because it wasn't their ship. some people just like to fucking whine and complain like Marisha Ray is personally holding a gun to their head and forcing them to watch the show. I do think we would have seen a certain amount of backlash to an hour long date regardless of who it was because most people don't have the emotional capacity to do what I do when I think the show's being boring (read: the hours upon hours of indecisive bickering over plans) and just zone out with one headphone in and do something else instead.

but do I think people are being extra whiny because it's a lesbian ship? yeah, of course I do. do I think an hour plus beauyasha date would have homophobes, misogynists, and general entitled assholes who just can't handle media not immediately catering to what they want to see all in a tizzy and crying like little babies afterwards? yeah, duh. idk that's probably not the answer people want out of me, but it's what I think is happening and honestly? I don't really care about their tears one way or another. i've spent most of my life getting the shaft by the media and now i'm up here on cloud nine being pandered to and I'm loving every single second of it, baby.

#cr spoilers #the drama #asks

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choco-mark · 5 years ago

Text

A Marriage of Inconvenience (2)

overall pairing: mafia!jeno x mafia!oc

overall genre: angst | smut | fluff

warnings: language, mentions of violence + death, y/n wanting to kill jeno, jeno being an asshole, oppression of women, murder/homicide, jeno wanting to kill y/n

summary: when two mafia gangs decide to end their family feud after decades, your mother decides to give your hand away to marriage of their son, lee jeno. he seemed to hate you from the moment he laid his eyes on you, but could the resolution lead to something much more than a bride and groom?

words: 4.8k

masterlist

requested by 🤡 anon

18 April

It had been a few days since you blew up on Jeno, and thankfully he found you scary enough to stay away from you for a while. Mark had been visiting your room every now and then to send you messages from your fiancee (one of which had been ‘don’t go to the training room tomorrow,’ which gave you an extra reason to stay there longer than usual).

Today was the day of the mission, or at least, that was what Mark had told you this morning after handing you a box of battle clothing. You took one look at the color of the uniform, repelling it immediately before you realized the expense of the actual fabric and how protective it would really be.

Even the thin overcoat armor was bulletproof, as it was marked on the inner side of the jacket. The boots were heeled, making you a bit annoyed as you would’ve rather stuck with your own classic ones, but you couldn’t pass by the chance to step on someone’s very nice face for being an asshole.

As you were slipping on the last of your clothing, Mark came bursting in, nearly causing you to throw the nearest object at him. His eyes were blown wide open, darting around the room until he focused on you. “Is there anyone else in here?”

“No?” You placed down the glass vase back on the bedside table, walking towards him. “It’s just me. Are we leaving soon?”

Gulping, he nodded. “Yeah—we’re just missing a few people. They’re probably in the training room, or still getting ready. Um, you can come with me, though—Jeno wants to talk to you.”

You scowled at the sound of his name, wanting to do literally anything other than listen to the blond guy boss you around like he needed you to convince himself that he had power. You weren’t sure if he would ever get it; there was no way you were going to listen to anything he said, ever.

You walked down with Mark anyway, making sure to pocket your phone alongside you. Jisung had called you earlier, telling you quietly how he missed you and wanted to see you as soon as he could, and you had just chuckled, saying it would happen soon. It had hurt your heart, hearing your younger brother sound so broken over the call, but there was nothing you could give other than the empty promise of ‘maybe.’

Once you had reached the lobby, you noticed there was a line of Lee fighters, that were all (so surprisingly) male. Almost each and every one of them watched as you walked down the steps beside Mark, looking you up and down like you were some kind of specimen. It made you feel unknowingly self-conscious, having so many men stare at you without an ounce of remorse in their blood.

Jeno was in the corner, sitting next to an elderly but sharp looking man, talking intently with him until the man’s eyes fell on you. You wished you could have spat in his face from the way his eyes skimmed your body, a man who looked old enough to be your father. As you came closer, he stood up, giving you a slight bow, which you returned.

“Thank you for joining us, Y/N,” his voice was raspy, looking from Jeno to you, and then to Mark. “We’re glad to have one of the best soldiers in NCT Park for this mission, who is, I’ve heard, you? It’s an honor.”

Jeno gave an incredulous look to his father, looking at you with huge eyes that you thought they’d better burst from his sockets any moment soon. “Would you take a seat next to my son, miss?”

You cocked your head at the sound of formality, nodding slightly before sitting down stiffly beside Jeno, not feeling the man in front you had good intentions at all. Glancing over at your fiancee, you said, “I appreciate the deal you have fixed with my family; that is why I am here.”

The man nodded, looking up at Mark. “Your brothers are already on their way to the hideout, Mark, there’s no reason to go looking for them any longer. Get the cars ready, and make sure the system is set up before we arrive there. Okay, son?”

You had already found out from Mark that he himself was not a fighter, but a hacker instead. It explained why he always had an electronic device in his hands and why he had a notepad on deck every time he came to visit you; he was always ready, and dedicated to the cause. It reminded you of yourself.

He nodded, scurrying out of the room being followed by a few of the men. Jeno’s father leaned over, completely disregarding his son as he spoke to you. “We’re having you join Jeno’s team for this mission, so please effectively cooperate with him. Proper equipment is supplied in the van you’ll be taking alongside with the team, and if you need any assistance with weapons, my son will help you.” Jeno grumbled softly at the mention of himself, leaning back against the sofa.

“We are infiltrating the hideout for today, so we’ll only be providing blades for this mission. There shouldn’t be many people other than guards outside, and it will be an easy in and out mission for the treasure. Understood?”

You nodded. “And what of the mission? Is there anything I’m required to collect?” Jeno’s dad clicked his tongue at the sound of your voice, almost as if he disapproved of you talking. “Excuse me?”

“I understand you are a Park,” he continued, disregarding your question completely as he looked over to Jeno, who was sitting beside you. “And I am aware that your people raise their women as fighters, and I have nothing against it; any family shall wish to raise their children in any way they please. But in the Lee household, we do not condone any of the sort. You may have already realized that women are of a scarcity to the public eye, we like to keep it that way.”

Explains why your guys look at me like they want to eat me. You raised your eyebrow, scoffing internally at where this was going. What year are we in? Or rather, what century?

“Of course, I am sure my son has already informed you of your duties as his future wife, I believe?” The man pursed his lips, focusing steadily on Jeno. “And how to properly address all men with—well-deserved respect, of course?”

There was a flash behind your eyes, telling you that if you killed this man right now, everything coming out of his disgusting mouth would cease, but you had seen it coming anyway. The misogynistic nature of the palace, the way men looked at you like you were some kind of prey that should kept away like gold, it was very obvious.

But you plastered a smile onto your face, stopping Jeno as he began to speak. “Of course, sir. I am a Park after all, as you mentioned, so I believe it will take me some time before I can become accustomed to their new—expectations. My intention here is—well—to serve as you expect.”

Jeno’s father laid out a bright smile, showing that he believed your obedient antics as he stood up with a clap of acceptance. “I expected a bit of retaliation, as you are a Park, but you seem to have understood your position. I am glad, Miss Park, that you are able to fit our high standards.”

High standards my ass. You stood up shortly after, giving a small bow as he left, walking out of the room, presumably back to his office. With a roll of your eyes, you looked back at Jeno, who was standing next to you. “You assholes really are living in the 19th century, aren’t you?”

He ran a hand through his blond hair, glancing over at you in shock of how you had just spoken to his father versus himself. “You—what the fuck? You literally just said you’d listen!”

“Ignorant Lees,” you scolded, letting out a sound of pure disgust, thinking of the way his father had just spoken to you about women as if they were an object. “No wonder we hate you. Oppression of women like this is something you all should die for.”

But I can’t kill him yet. Jeno sighed at the sight of your defient figure, knowing that you weren’t about to give into the Lee ways. “You’re in our house now, might as well just act like a Lee too. Might make your life a lot easier.”

I need to know what they want from me first. I have to find out what their obsession with me is. “Life isn’t simple, Lee, and especially not mine. I will not ‘act’ like a Lee, and I will not hesitate to slice your ears off for being ignorant.”

“Can’t you just,” he rubbed at his temples, wondering how he was even going to control you during the mission, “act like a lady? Like a girl? Be nice and shit, you know?”

With a soft growl, you jabbed sharply at the man’s stomach, making him fall back into the couch with a loud thud, gaining the attention of the other fighters. You gave them all a little smile, waving them away as you turned back to the man you were supposed to call your fiancee. “You’re fucking crazy—”

You slapped both of his thighs, making all of the others look back at you as you straddled his lap, grabbing his neck between your hands. “Lee,” you said in a hushed tone, pressing a finger to his windpipe as he attempted to speak. “You’re young, you’re handsome, and you’re an absolute idiot. Use that brain of yours to think for a bit, just a little. Think of all the time women treated you so good, listened to you like you were their master.”

Jeno’s breath hitched as your grip on his neck tightened, his surprise turning to anger and then...arousal? “They were all on their knees for you, weren’t they? Giving you exactly what you wanted, when you wanted, making you feel like you were so in control. You liked that, didn’t you?”

“Women are not any less than men,” your tone was so soft now, but harsh in his mind as your hands grew hotter and hotter in his skin. “We never were. You are the same age as me, I am not any less important that you are and most certainly not because I am a woman.”

He didn’t know if he was supposed to be finding all of this so very hot, but he couldn’t help but want the grip around his neck to tighten. Jeno watched you with as steady eyes as possible, but you could see him faltering with your movements, letting you know silently that you had won this time.

“Watch your mouth, Lee,” you spat, a little louder as you got off of him, turning away to where Mark reentered the room, calling everyone out. “It could cause you some trouble in the real world.”

“I don’t really get it either,” Mark said, gaining your attention. “I mean—I heard you talking to Jeno. I don’t really get why my father’s always so—stupid about the whole gender thing.”

You were sitting in the back of the van, beside Mark as he attempted to show you his interesting gadgets that he had set up very intricately. It wasn’t that you were necessarily interested in whatever he was showing you, but rather that there was a less likely chance of you wanting to kill him over the other Lees or Jeno.

You nodded slowly, glad that at least one person had a bit of common sense. “I haven’t—seen any women around other than my servant. Where even—are they?” The question was more to yourself than to him, the curiosity of where they were hidden in the palace intriguing you.

“There are women in the house,” he continued, typing into a laptop that was showing some corrupt-looking software. “I—have sisters. They’re in the east wing, though, away from everyone else. They aren’t allowed out of their rooms unless they want to talk with the others, and there’s an old drawing room where they all gather.”

“Men aren’t really allowed in the east wing,” Mark glanced over at you, shining remorse in his eyes. “Not unless they’re married to them. Or if—it’s their mother. I visit my mom sometimes, but I haven’t seen my sisters since—well, a long time.”

“I mean, I used to sneak up there when I was younger to talk to my sisters—and Jeno actually used to come with me, but our father found us one day and—he wasn’t happy. He gave us a long lecture about how men and women weren’t equals and whatnot, it was basically just bullshit.”

“I still go though,” he let out a short cough, avoiding your gaze. “I see my sisters in my mom’s room all the time, but other than that—I really can’t.”

Your eyes widened at his words. They don’t allow siblings to see each other? What kind of—oppression is this? Isn’t it too much? You thought back to your home, where you had grown up alongside your baby brother your entire life, caring for him so deeply.

It hurt to even think about not having a relationship with Jisung; he was probably the only other person that you truly loved other than your mother. “Are you—serious?”

“Yeah,” his voice was smaller, the clash of the keyboard masking the pain as he gulped. “Um, we’re almost there. There’s—blades in the front, and like—other weapons and stuff. I don’t think you’ll need that many, anyway, we aren’t expecting much resistance anyway.”

“I will slice your arm off,” you hissed at one of Jeno’s teammates, scowling as they eyed you as if you were candy, but then widened their eyes at your harshness. “Which one do you want? I take requests everyday, you know.”

Jeno watched the scene from behind, stepping in to grab your arm and pull you away from them, sheathing the knife you had out back into the safety of your boot. You yanked yourself back, cursing at him for having such a tight grip, wanting to punch this man as well.

You looked so—confident, in Jeno’s point of view. Maybe a little too confident from the way you always stood straight and held yourself up as if you were more powerful than any other one of the Lees in the crowd currently, and he wanted to test it. He wanted to test to see if you, a woman, were just as confident as you portrayed yourself to the people.

“Why doesn’t Park go in first?” Jeno suggested out of nowhere, the sound rattling through everyone’s ears as they looked at him. “Unless, anyone else would like to volunteer themselves? You’re free to go.”

Silence rang through the air, making you look back at the men with an eyebrow raised, surprised that no one offered themselves. Mark scurried over to where Jeno was, whispering a short few words into his ear before his brother pushed him away, scowling. “I don’t really care.”

“—Is your friendly chatter over, Lee?” You asked with an amused expression, titling your head sideways at him as he glanced back over to you. “Shouldn’t you take the lead, as well, the leader of your unit? Or would you rather pass it down to a measly little Park?”

The last word was mockery, allowing a small smirk to break from your face as he stepped closer to you. “No, I’d rather test you. As the leader, I think I’d like to see what kind of skills my future wife supposedly has.”

Future wife. The title burned a fire inside your bones, urging you to move a step forward and stab him. Future wife my ass, fucker.

“If you insist,” you continued, turning around to avoid his stance. “I’ll move in first then, if it’s such a game for you Lees. The rest can follow.”

“Don’t order my men around.”

You clenched your teeth, shooting a sharp gaze to the blond man. “The rest can follow.” Disregarding his want to start another argument, you left him behind, moving past from behind the van to where the hideout was, guarded nicely by large guards.

You wished you had been given another weapon, because the knife inside your boot was not going to kill the two of them without adding suspicion to the other. Fuck Lees and their stupidass policies. They’re gonna get themselves killed.

Well lucky for them, they had you. The blade went soaring straight into the back of the first guard, a pierce to the heart as he fell a silent thud, making the other unaware as he was turned around. You made your move them, whipping your head back once before creeping towards the man, pulling the knife out as quietly as you could.

It didn’t seem to be completely quiet, however, since the other guard had whirled back to see you crouched over the now-dead man. He raised his glock, moving to shoot at you and missing as you sent the blade into the flesh of his shin, making him fall down.

Crawling over to the other man, you wrestled the gun out of his hands slipping it into your belt as you slit his throat with a quick motion, making sure to look away as you did so. As much as you had fought and killed all your life, the one thing you could never get over was the sight of a person loosing their life, no matter how horrible their deed was.

You stood up, looking back to where you had been hiding to see no one, your eyes rolling annoyingly. Jeno has most likely ordered the rest of his fighters to the back of the hideout, giving you absolutely no backup. Eithier he had full confidence in you, or he wanted you to die, and you knew it was the latter.

Moving past the gate, you scanned the area with a quick eye, realizing that there were no other guards to be seen. It was weird, even though Mark had told you before that many weren’t going to be there, but it was odd for a hideout to have less than ten guards. Perhaps, there were more in the back?

As you moved closer to the building, you hid on the side, pressing yourself against the wall as you eased closer to the door. Just as you did so, you felt a hand pulling the glock out of your belt, making your heart jump for moment before you put a hand over the gun and swiped with your other hand, hoping to get the person in the neck.

But a tight grip was met with your wrist instead, your eyes focusing on Jeno’s as he smirked in pride. The motion made you growl, twisting your hand out of his and raising your leg up quickly, giving him a hard blow to the abdomen.

“Fucking asshole,” you watched him collapse, groaning slightly as you stepped closer, and then took a step back. “Trying to play with me? Dangerous game, Lee. Stick to your gun play, maybe, I have better physical skills.”

Just as you turned your head, a hand was on your ankle, yanking you down harshly on top of the man. It was a slight miss, the knife skimming the end of his ear as you took account to what he just did. “Physical skills? Bullshit, Park. You’re weak.”

This wasn’t the place to do any of this, but you sat up hastily anyway, wrapping one hand around his throat as you did so. Judging from the way he liked it so much earlier, you expected that he would go limp when you did that, and the assumption was correct. Your knife pulled up from beside him, coming close to his face instead.

“I’m weak? You’re the one trying to kill me when we’re here for other purposes.” You were tempted to nick his gorgeous face, let just a drop of blood trickle down those sharp features. “All you have is strength, Lee. No brain, no logic, not even a bit of skill.”

Climbing off him, you watched as he shook himself back to his senses, the huge eyes being replaced by his rough ones. “Are you admitting to not having strength then, Park? Because I’ll have to agree with you on that.”

“You’re such a child,” you said for the second time, the words hitting him with a roll of his eyes. “No wonder all you Lees are so competitive, it must be a hereditary disease. The need to be the best, what a joke.”

Jeno’s eyes flashed with your mockery towards his family, his eyes moving quickly to a new guard standing behind you, aiming with a glock towards your head. He wasn’t sure if the guard even noticed him, but he definitely thought he didn’t when a bullet went through his head, marking his death immediately.

“You talk to much but do so little,” he looked over at you, grabbing you by the arm and shoving you forward. “You haven’t proved shit to me yet, then, and I don’t care if you think my family is competitive. We fucking are, and we like to win.”

“Start boasting about skill when you’re the highest family of NCT,” he nudged you towards the entrance. “I haven’t even seen the Parks on the chain, and you know why? Because you cannot win.”

The two of you were now inside the building, pressed against the wall as you tried not to screech back. “Not everything is a game, Lee.”

“Wrong,” the both you were now at the end of the hallway, his breath hot in your ear. “The entire world is a game, Park. We’re all just a bunch of players.”

The last syllable of his word ended with a loud clink to the front of the two of you, a grenade being thrown to end of the hallway. It burst almost immediately, and surprisingly, smoke covered the area instead, the disgusting scent filling up your lungs fully.

Jeno gave out a violent cough, covering his mouth as he attempted to see through the dark colors, his eyes straining as smoke filled his vision. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone inside, it was just the drugs that they were here for, stocked high in the hideout which was barely guarded.

But he knew something was wrong, when he reached forward with his hand to feel nothing but the air, your presence completely gone. “Park? PARK?!” Jeno stretched out both his arms, feeling around him as his heart sped up, his skin only meeting the cool brick of the wall.

Fuck, he had messed up. He had one job, and that one job was to make sure you were safe. It was supposed to be easy, a way to mock you through this whole mini mission, and he had promised his father that he would look after you. You, of course, were the prize after all.

Even Mark’s warning with bright in his head from earlier, the ‘she can’t get hurt, or else you know what’ll happen’ that he had ignored with a thought of ‘nothing will happen.’ “Park?! Fuck, Park! Where the fuck are you?!”

His voice was loud, almost an imitation of himself as he heard it echo through the hallway, not a person in sight or feeling distance. “Jeno!”

Jeno whipped his head back at the sound of his name, the sound being all too familiar as he saw a light at the end of the hallway, the door being wide open as he moved closer, his vision covering him from seeing anything. As he got closer, his knees bucked, almost making him fall before the owner of the voice yanked him out, pulling him back outside.

“Did you see who set it off?” Mark pulled his brother up, his eyes scanning the other’s as he coughed out the rest of the smoke. His mind was going haywire right now, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the smoke or from the fact that he had completely lost you— “Jeno!”

He pushed off Mark from his body, making the other man stumbled back as he took a seat against the wall, leaning back as he rubbed at his eyes. “I fucking—”

Jeno closed his eyes again, thinking back only seconds ago to where he had just murmured into your ear, the bomb going off right as he finished. There was no way you had gotten out, he would’ve been able to at least see you make your way back.

Your presence had gone almost as quickly as it was there, like you had vanished in a single moment, as if you had never existed in the first place. He grabbed his hair in his hands, letting out a low snarl. “She was fucking—right there! Right there, Mark! She was right, fucking—in front of me. I w-was talking to her, and the bomb went off and she literally vanished.”

“You lost her?”

If only he had been more aware of what they were actually doing there, and the mission they had to finish quickly, maybe he wouldn’t have taken his time to mock you. But it wasn’t true, he would’ve done anything in his power to prove that you were less than what you seemed, and it was exactly what he tried to do, while loosing you in the process.

The smoke had dissipated after a few minutes, and a few of Jeno’s team came out the door, hands full of suitcases and bags. Even when inquired by him, they swore that it wasn’t them that set off the bomb, and that it must’ve been a trap that the owners of the hideout set up. But it didn’t make sense, when they told him that they searched the whole building and found no one; there was no fucking way that you could’ve gone away that easily.

“Maybe she ran away?” One of the men whispered to the other, making Jeno perk up to them. “That’s all girls can do anyway, fucking run away from problems like the filthy sluts they are. She should’ve stayed inside like a good girl.” The sound of degradation going to your name set something off inside of him, making him step closer to the batch of men as they chuckled heartily.

“Watch your mouth, soldier,” he grabbed the first one by the collar, pulling him up to his face. “I’ll make you bleach your tongue clean if I hear words like that coming out of you again, hear? You’re talking about Park Y/N, one of the highest ranked soldiers of NCT, and I expect some respect would go to her. Hear?”

Jeno shook of the guy, pushing him back as he turned to Mark, who was watching the scene with wide eyes. There was no way he had just defended your name, no fucking way he had just told his men to respect a Park. But that was what he did, and it had to be done; there was no denial that you were a better fighter than any of them there, even though he wouldn’t have admitted that only a few minutes ago.

And there was no way that you had run away, and he knew it. A Park never ran away from a fight, and regardless you, you were beyond any of the other Parks that he had met in the past. You sounded like you were of a higher breed, so much pride in your body that you wouldn’t have fled like a lower clan member. It was just all in the matter of where you had gone, or rather, who had taken you.

“Jeno, we have to go back,” Mark finally spoke up, his eyes trailing his brother’s as he looked up at him. “I know, I know, but we have to. Father will get—suspicious.” But he would get more suspicious when the team came back, the prized woman he was supposed to watch, gone from their hands in an instant.

He was right, the entire world was a game play, just filled with every human as tiny pawns that were unknown to the common world. But you weren’t a tiny pawn to the Lees, especially not to Jeno’s father, you were the queen on the large chess board, protecting yourself and everyone you. Yet he was wrong, wrong about your weakness, but his heart was bursting inside of him as he looked towards the ground.

“Let’s go, then.”

previous | next

well, part two!! so jeno’s not a COMPLETE asshole this time, but i think he still fits the POV. this took a while as well, so i hope y’all enjoyed and be rrrready for the next (and maybe final?) part!!

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scammydoesstuff · 4 years ago

Text

So about that 'Blue Bloods' episode…

I recently saw something come across my dash regarding Alex Brightman’s guest appearance on the season 11 episode of 'Blue Bloods' (The Common Good) and it reignited the vehement response I had to the episode as a whole. And, since I have this blog now, I figured…fuck it. I need to rant about it.

So that's what this is.

Take what I say with a grain of salt, of course. This show is so clearly not for me and I acknowledge that, but I went to school for and got my degree in creative writing and so much of this episode pissed me off from a narrative perspective and I just really need to talk about it. Putting it under a Read More, though, so you can ignore me if you’d like while I rage to no one in particular. Apologies in advance if you choose to read on. I'm super long-winded. Luckily I don't have pictures and this is more of just a lot of text, so…it could be longer?

So, to begin, I’ll freely admit that I’d never seen an episode of 'Blue Bloods' before this and I’ve not watched it since. I mean, if the rest of the episodes are as badly written as this one, I have no interest to either, but I digress.

Overall my main problem with the episode was how desperately it avoided ‘showing’ over ‘telling’ and, as a visual medium, that’s kind’ve a big deal. We were told pretty much every detail that was presented to us. These people love to hear themselves talk, but do little to actually show things as they happen and I believe a part of that has to do with the focus of the show itself, which is definitely unique to this brand of television. By that, I just mean that it’s not the format I might’ve expected from a show like this. Most cop shows give a lot of focus to the cases, and the intrigue you get with the characters is how they apply their own skills and knowledge to solve them, with the hi-jinks they get into along the way being more of a bonus.

This is not that kind of show.

No, 'Blue Bloods' as a show is way more interested in the cops and their familial ties than it is about the actual job that they’re doing, as shown prominently with the political plot of this episode which was also very focused on the relationship between Tom Selleck’s character and his daughter and the wholly unrelated dinner scene where they talk about lent for 2 and a half minutes and acknowledge nothing else that happened in the episode. This show doesn’t care about the job of being a cop so much as it cares about the cops themselves.

Which would be fine if I gave a shit about cops, but I don’t.

You could argue that the mentor plot is the exception to that, but that entire situation had no real consequences for the cop in question, Jamie, abusing his power. It was entirely focused on how the situation affected him and how it was fine that he’d nudged this kid to get information which ultimately led to the arrest of Dion's brother, and Dion quitting the program. Hell, if Jamie had, in his final scene with Dion, owned up to his abuse of power and left the program — to then urge Dion to rejoin so that he can have that positive outlet in his life without him there — I would’ve been way more okay with it, but Jamie faces no consequences past ‘I don’t wanna see you anymore’, which I was never convinced he actually cared about in the slightest. There's nothing cathartic about it, it's just shitty and left me feeling frustrated at the lack of consequences for the cop.

But hey, you prolly don’t wanna read me going on and on about those parts. You prolly wanna know why I hate it despite Alex’s plot — which I fully expected to love because he’s perfect and gorgeous even when he’s playing a bad guy and he was just so adorable in his lil suit and they let him keep the scruff this time, and he was all handsome an— I need to stop. That could go on forever.

Anyway, to put it simply; it was bad, but I'll definitely explain why.

Now, I don’t think any of the guests in this episode necessarily did a bad job. They still acted well enough for what they were given. I just think they had a shit script that wasn’t interested in that story line. I mentioned at the top of this that this show cared more about telling than showing and that’s a huge problem when you want me to buy a character being the culprit in your murder plot. I need evidence, not anecdotes. Cuz, yeah, by the end of the episode, I didn’t buy for even a second that Ralph did it. And it’s not because he was played by Alex who is just charisma incarnate. I can believe him playing a bad guy. I also watched his 'Law & Order SVU' episode where he scared the shit outta me. He can play a creepy and violent character very well, he just wasn’t convincing to me as a bad guy in this show.

And here’s why!

First of all, he confessed at knife point. That confession would be thrown away IRL. It’s the same problem with using torture to get information. If a person’s life is threatened or they're being harmed in some way, they’ll usually say whatever it takes to get you to stop threatening them/causing them pain. Same deal here. You can’t convince me with a confession like that.

But they didn't seem to be interested in convincing anyone as far as I could tell. They just expected you to believe it because, ‘no, didn’t you hear? He said he did it, so he did it.’ They had so many opportunities to portray this character as the shitbag that we’re told he is. Hell, great way to really implicate him? Give him a female assistant that Donnie Wahlberg and his partner overhear / walk in on him berating for something small like getting him the wrong coffee or something. Then have them talk to that assistant later on and her mention some weird behavior from him on the night of Andrea’s death. It's cliché, but it's more than what we got.

Or you could have him talk to Meghan in a super condescending voice when he approaches her after her interview later on. Or, hell, have him refer to the murder victim in a condescending way even as he talks about her death. But no. The most we get out of him is that he's maybe a little snarky and smug when talking to the cops, but that’s not enough to convince me he’s a bad dude. Frankly, his producer buddy came off as more of an asshole, if I'm being honest. Just cuz (we’re told) his character did shitty things to her in the past doesn’t mean he’s still shitty. Show me he’s still shitty. I wanna see it and I know Alex is capable of a performance like that.

Second, it’s also just…obvious to make him the culprit if we're to believe everything we're told about him. He and Andrea are described as having had beef a little while before the murder with him being abusive mentally and physically. He’s known in the community to be a misogynist and an abusive person overall. He’s the obvious suspect, but if there’s anything that Scooby-Doo taught me, it’s that it’s never the most obvious person. Like, once in a blue moon, sure — but it’s rare.

So yeah, I don’t believe that Ralph did it. You wanna know who I do think did it?

Meghan.

Alright, so bear with me. This'll prolly sound a little conspiratorial, but hear me out:

She had the motive. She confirms in the beginning of the episode that she’s also a female gamer like the victim, but that she was ‘no Andrea’. Andrea was her competition. They were (supposedly) friends and stuck together as female gamers, but Andrea was still competition. With her out of the way, Meghan’s able to rise in the ranks, if even a little bit.

She had a scapegoat in Ralph — again, the obvious suspect given his tumultuous relationship with Andrea sometime prior — and an obvious grudge against men in their community in general. And, don’t get me wrong, men in gaming can and often are hella toxic — I’m not, in any way, denying that — but she got way more emotional when talking about the men in their community than when she was talking about her supposed friend lying dead in the adjoining room.

Speaking of the adjoining room, how did she not hear the murder happening? It couldn’t have been when she was down in the bar, cuz we see Ralph there too in the crappy CCTV footage that was supposed to show him being an asshole, I think (hard to really see). Was she just fucking around somewhere else when it happened? She doesn’t mention as much that I recall (correct me if I'm wrong on that, of course). And Andrea was strangled to death. I would assume that there would’ve been a struggle with that. Are you seriously telling me she wouldn’t hear that in her adjoining hotel room? Those walls aren’t that thick. I find that kinda hard to believe. And that she wouldn’t have found her till the next morning after that, also strikes me as a little odd.

Going off on some previous points, she shows very little grief over her friend’s death. Not just in the intro scene, either, but later on as well. (Side bar: that intro scene itself was very misleading. Don’t lead with a murder plot if it only takes up less than 10 minutes of the overall runtime, kay?) The show did a pretty bad job at indicating the passage of time, but it’s implied that the convention is still happening when Meghan gets the confession out of Ralph, so it would’ve had to have been the same weekend, or possibly the same week (though most conventions I’m aware of don’t last that long — it’s usually a weekend thing, at most Thursday-Sunday — but it could be similar to AGDQ, which seems to last about a week). So, if this is only a day or so later, why would someone who is supposedly grieving over their dead friend do interviews like nothing is wrong? Wouldn't you, like, reschedule or just politely decline and say you need time to process the shock? Like, when we cut to ol’ Donnie Wahlberg calling her after her interview, she doesn’t look upset — as I imagine she might if they’d likely asked her questions about Andrea / her feelings about the murder — and she seems cool as a cucumber when she asks Ralph to go somewhere private. In fact, the look on her face indicates pretty clearly that she’s planning to do something. Specifically, not that she's scared, that she's angry.

Finally, she’s the one who’s attacking Ralph when Donnie Wahlberg and company arrive on the scene. She doesn’t seem to have any marks on her indicating that he made any move to harm her (again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember seeing her with any marks / cuts), but he’s got a clear, bleeding cut on his face. She attacked him first and was going in for the kill.

Or…was she? Cuz right before Donnie Wahlberg pulls her into that bear hug to stop her from the attack, she doesn’t do a great job of actually trying to kill Ralph. She was close enough that a quick dart at him would’ve probably been enough to at least injure him pretty significantly — maybe even fatally — and would’ve surely led the cops to pull them apart to secure him, but she kinda just hops around a bit and screams before lunging for him. That’s a really weird way to attack when you actually want to kill someone.

But, then again, I don’t necessarily think she did want to kill him. I’m convinced she wanted that confession, but that she also wanted him in jail and was playing the part of the super sad and hysterical victim who was just so overcome with her grief that she wasn’t in her right mind. I think that’s what they were going for in regards to her character in general, but it came across as less sincere in the performance and more like the character was putting on an act. They then cart Ralph off while comforting her — despite the fact that she disobeyed a direct order from police, which should lead to her being detained as well! — and that plot ends.

So, she gets what she wants in the end. A person she despises is now in police custody, her competition is out of the way, and the publicity she might get for bringing that ‘murderer’ to justice might eventually lead to her own career getting a nice boost. I dunno, it just strikes me as her having a great reason to have initiated this over Ralph just being a misogynist who 'was really trying to kill Meghan and just got the wrong girl'.

So yeah, with what the show presented to us, I believe Meghan’s the real killer. Again, if they’d done more to show me that Ralph was a bad dude or that she was more affected by her supposed friend’s death, or if they'd just given that plot more room to breathe to show those things, I might’ve been more inclined to buy the narrative they were pushing but…as is, I don’t believe it.

That’s pretty much all I wanted to say on the matter. I had a lot of issues with the domestic abuse plot line too, but they barely gave that 5 minutes of the overall runtime, so does it really matter in the long run? This is just…my thought process of the only part of the episode I watched for and how disappointing it was for me. And yes, I timed each section of the episode to figure out how much time was given to each of the 4 plots, plus the dinner scene at the end, but not counting the intro theme, and the murder plot got just over 8 minutes, of which Alex was on screen for half of that time. He got less than 5 minutes of screen time. It was definitely worth it just because he’s wonderful and I just like seeing him on these shows, but from a narrative standpoint, it felt pointless.

Okay, I’m done. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Unless y’all wanna talk about this some more, cuz I’m so down for that.

#scammy talks too much #scammy rants #blue bloods #the common good #alex brightman #long post is long #I'm long-winded as fuck #obviously I'm not an authority on what makes good tv #this is just all how I felt after watching the episode #It was just so disappointing after the INCREDIBLE performance on Law & Order SVU #if you like it that's cool #I'm not here to tell you you're wrong #or that I'm right about this #like whatcha like #sometimes I just gotta rant and get it outta my brain

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gravesightings · 5 years ago

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So, I see very little content with trans women so I wanted something like the slashers are dating her but they never had sex or saw her naked and she tells them she's trans, she's very nervous and scared about it. How would they react? For Asa, the Sinclair twins, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba and Brahms (Again, if you don't feel comfortable or is scared to do something wrong, anything like that, it's super ok if you don't want to do it, i totally understand 😊😊). Have a great day!! ❤

sorry it took so long but I wanted to make sure I did this justice!! hope you like it! kiss kiss. 💕

slashers reactions to: their s/o coming out as a trans woman

asa emory / the collector

listens attentively and is very patient with you overall. when he sees how nervous you are, he would automatically turn all his attention to you. he doesn’t have much of a reaction – just gives you a curt nod in response.

not the most talkative so you don’t have to worry about him flooding you with questions. unfortunately this also means he’s not very good with verbal reassurance.

but hey, he’ll make up for it by taking your hand in his, gently rubbing them with his thumbs. feel free to wrap your arms around him and he’ll do the same.

you definitely won’t be seeing any of it (yes, he’ll make sure), but he’ll do his research. anything and everything about trans women: coming out, dysphoria, transitioning. he’d be a little disappointed in himself for being so in the dark about it.

much more careful. he’ll try his best to be affectionate with you without coming off too strong. before he usually just leaves you alone to do whatever, but recently he’s been making a conscious effort to spend more time with you. wordlessly pats on his lap and opens his arms. a little awkward but just wants you to feel more comfortable around him.

bo sinclair

would immediately sense your unease and try to force it out of you. not the best to approach with this kind of thing. bo would be the type to assume the worst right off the bat - so are you cheating?

horrible temper to match. either spit it out or he’ll force it out of you. once you actually do tell him, he’ll be speechless. unfortunately he’s not the most accepting of the bunch. immediately asks a million questions and expects you to answer all of it.

if you can’t, he’ll storm off and try to divert his anger elsewhere. maybe let him be for a while. this would probably be the only time he’ll ask his brothers for advice. knows he’s not very good at all this sappy emotional stuff, that’s vincent’s thing. bo doesn’t really take their advice however, but he thinks on it.

very awkward. does he treat you the same? do you want to be treated differently? tries to pretend like nothing happened but he’s clearly more withdrawn than normal. (cause uhhh he sorta fucked up and yelled at you for coming out to him and he still feels like an asshole.) he just doesn’t want to hurt you like that again.

has no idea what to do but god damn it, he’s willing to try anything. if he comes off as misogynistic you can call him out on it and he’ll be willing to learn. it’ll be a slow and painful process but he’s ready to give it a shot. (catch him beating up a fellow who misgendered you on purpose.)

brahms heelshire

just a lot of silent nodding. brahmsy here watches you a lot so he’s already had it figured out before you even approach him about it. would probably only say “okay,” and pull you in his arms to cuddle for the rest of the day.

was raised in a strict household so his views are super outdated but fortunately he doesn’t give a shit. all he needs is for you to follow the rules and give him all your undivided attention. do that and he won’t care for much else.

no further questions asked but he’s a curious man so he’ll start watching you more intently from now on. it’ll be painfully obvious but he’ll deny all your insulting accusations. him? watching you sleep last night? how dare you accuse him of such a thing!

so you ...won’t have sex with him then? ... okay, how about now? how about after supper? tomorrow, then? not much will change. still a giant hornball and won’t even try to tone down the touching unless you threaten to give him the silent treatment. distract him with the other kind of touching.

combat the horny with some yearning. pet his hair, cook for him, give him a kiss every morning, hold him like you love him and he’ll forget how to function. brahms would be too caught up in the feeling of being properly loved and cared for.

bubba sawyer

no clue what that is and what that means but he feels guilty that you’d be nervous around him. would pick you up and hold you in his arms until you feel better. this man will be glued on you the whole day unless you tell him otherwise.

if you decide to explain it to him more thoroughly, he’ll accept you in a heartbeat. don’t you worry! bubby loves you no matter what! if any of the family disagrees, he’ll automatically come to your defense.

goes on as normal. it isn’t really a big deal to him so there won’t be any big changes in your relationship. bubba would just be a little more attentive when it comes to you.

any hint of discomfort and he’ll come running to the rescue! holding you would be his go-to problem solver. if not, he’ll share with you whatever activities he does when he’s feeling down. listening to the radio while he works, taking short walks, playing with his little knick-knacks, etc. anything to take your mind off things.

bubba protective mode: activate! babe is this guy bothering you? BRRRRR. problem solved. he can’t bother you when he’s in pieces! nobody dares to even look at you wrong unless they have a death wish.

jason voorhees

equally as nervous. he doesn’t quite understand right away either, so please take the time to explain it to him. jason won’t have much of a reaction aside from the occassional bob of his head.

despite his very traditional upbringing, he’s quick to accept you. you’re the love of his life after all! he’s pretty much convinced himself that he won’t be needing anyone else besides you, so he’s already set for life.

what do you need, exactly? jason doesn’t know anything about being trans so he doesn’t know what to do. does he even need to do anything particular? what if he can’t find what you need and you want to leave because of it? overthinks and worries a lot.

also starts to keep a closer eye on you. he has no idea what that feels, but if you do decide to confide in him, it would give him a sense of relief. at least he'll be able to offer you a shoulder to cry on.

gives his all with the little things to make you smile. fresh flowers for you everyday! anything that could make your day just a little bit better, he’ll go to great lengths for it. if you somehow mention your favorite candy bar, he’ll trek all the way to the nearest gas station to get it for you. no really! it’s ok!!! six hours of walking is nothing!

jesse cromeans / chromeskull

chances are, he would have already known for some time. jesse would be paranoid enough to have placed hidden cameras all over his home. mostly for security reasons, but also because he likes seeing what you’re up to even while he’s away.

sensing your unease, he’ll instinctively tug you towards him to hold you in his arms. what’s wrong? jesse would stroke your head to soothe you, even as you start to confide in him.

again, he’s already very aware but he’s not going to confess to that. (don’t expect to know about the cameras either) wouldn’t say much initially, just does his best to let you know he’s here for you.

whatever you need will be given. even if you actually don’t need it, he’ll provide. would you want top/bottom surgery? medication? on it. he’ll even drive you to the hospital if you want. mental health issues? here, he made a contact list of all the available therapists in the area.

does his research and is well-prepared. however, he's decided that boundaries no longer exist. since he’s gained a heavy sense of responsibility over you, he believes that he owns you at this point. jesse’s going to take care of you whether you like it or not.

michael myers

okay, and? another stalker who already has it figured out before you even tell him. appreciates that you would trust him enough to tell him but he still has no reaction to it whatsoever.

michael is very observant so he’s going to notice if you’re acting even slightly different around him. problem is, he’s not willing to talk it out and would just grab you out of nowhere to intimidate you into talking about it. (grabs you and stares at you menacingly = michael-speak for “tell me what’s going on.”)

once he knows, he’s taken note of it and carries on like normal. michael won’t comfort you unless you’re on the verge of an emotional breakdown so don’t expect much from him. really, he’s just going to squeeze you in his arms and expects you to stop crying because he’s done the comfort thing.

unless the threat is another person then he’ll gladly get rid of them for you. emotional support is a whole different game he’s not willing to play. mental support? he’s not qualified for that. financial support? yeah sure, he’ll get you things you need if he happens to feel like it.

michael doesn’t appear to be outright supportive of you - but god forbid he happens to hear anyone badmouth you in any shape or form, they’ll simply cease to exist.

thomas hewitt

he would have mixed feelings about it because he was raised to think differently. the rest of the hewitts would have a lot to say about it, naturally. so expect frequent talks about your sexuality.

if that makes you uncomfortable, then feel free to confide in tommy. he loves his family a lot but he knows they can be too much sometimes, so he’s happy to help you in any way he can.

would keep you with him at all times. maybe not around the gore, but still with him in the basement somehow. the rest of the family don’t like going down there anyways, plus, he’s happy to spend more quality time with you.

with tommy on your side, the hewitts would eventually learn to accept you. they’d be horrible at first but if you have the patience to teach them otherwise, they’re willing to listen. luda mae would be the most accepting. hoyt would be stubborn, but there’s not much he can do.

once you’re fully accepted into the family, they’re with you ‘till the very end. (much like tommy himself!) nobody would dare cross you. not on their watch.

vincent sinclair

anxiety who? it’s mother-hen override time. all his previous hesitance would be out the window in two seconds flat. you’re nervous about something and he wants to comfort you asap. vincent would hold both your hands in his to calm you down.

“thank you for telling me,” would accept you and hold you in his arms without a second thought. not the type to barrage you with questions either but he’s also not very good with verbal reassurance.

big cat energy. he doesn’t have much to say so he’s going to do the next best thing: physical affection. while normally shy, he’s willing to push aside his own insecurities for the sake of making you feel better.

no words, just a lot of little things. since he doesn’t know what to say, he’s just going to sit and sculpt you this cool-looking dragon. do you like it? might be kind of boring if you’re not into that kind of stuff. if not, he’s willing to sit down and learn a hobby of yours instead.

a lot more willing to be open with you. he’s normally a very closed-off individual, but he’s willing to be himself around you in hopes of encouraging you to do the same.

#requests #my writing #slashers #reacts #asa emory #the collector #bo sinclair #brahms heelshire #bubba sawyer #jason voorhees #jesse cromeans #chromeskull #michael myers #thomas hewitt #vincent sinclair

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nanoland · 4 years ago

Text

Title: Besyd the scarcety of bread amowngst us

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Crowley/Dean Winchester

Summary: In which Dean asks a question.

Warnings: Crowley being Extremely traumatized and kind of oblivious to that fact + SPN demons being SPN demons (i.e. remorseless bodysnatchers) + Dean being his casually misogynistic self + graphic descriptions of starvation + exhibitionism (sorta?) + sexually explicit content because this was MEANT to be straightforward smut and then Crowley happened, the prick.

Also on AO3!

“So how come you aren’t a hot chick?”

The glass stills an inch from Crowley’s pale lips. “I humbly beg your pardon?”

It’s late. The bar’s quiet. He doesn’t need Dean to repeat himself. Just a moment to decide on a response.

Well on the way to utterly shit-faced, Dean gestures vaguely, meaninglessly. “You offer people stuff. Then, ten years later, you drag ‘em to Hell. And – and they know that’s what’s gonna happen if they make a deal with you. Which means that you gotta be real fuckin’ persuasive. Which you are. Grade A Bullshit Artist and don’t I know it. But... uh, what was I gonna… yeah, wouldn’t it be easier, right, just way easier if you were a hot chick?”

Crowley can tell he’s not done, so he keeps his silver tongue behind his faintly yellowed teeth for the moment.

While Dean is usually delightful company, in his surly, macho way, this evening there’s an uncommonly obnoxious edge to everything he says. That almost certainly means his insecurities over what he’s been letting Crowley do to his arse lately are acting up.

Understandable. Still annoying.

So Crowley’s more than willing to let his favourite human dig himself a wee bit deeper before pouring boiling tar into the pit.

After quickly throwing back the last of his drink, Dean goes on: “Now, I didn’t go to some dickslurp business school. I ain’t that brand of asshole. But I’ve seen enough beer ads in my time to have an idea of how marketing works. You got something you want people to buy? Fastest way is to get a hot chick in a bikini to hold it up. Because guys have most of the money in this shitty world of ours and guys think with their dicks. I know I do. So why did you decide to possess someone who looks like a balding, middle-aged banker going through a stressful divorce? That ain’t enticing. That ain’t capturing anyone’s interest. Y’know?”

“Mm,” says Crowley, and stands up.

“Fuck’re you doing?” Dean slurs, watching him take off his tie.

“Ever heard of the Seven Ill Years, Squirrel?”

“Nope. Seriously, what’re you doing?”

Draping his overcoat over the back of his chair along with his tie, Crowley sets about taking off his jacket. “‘The Seven Ill Years’ refers to a particularly shitty time in early modern Scotland; the 1690s.”

He tugs off his costly leather shoes and places them side-by-side under his chair. “I was in my… early thirties at the time, I think. Thirty-two? Maybe thirty-one. Whatever.”

Dean is gaping now. He’s never seen Crowley without his outer layers, much less the growing slice of exposed chest as Crowley unbuttons his shirt.

“For a lot of complicated reasons relating to oceanic thermohaline circulation, solar activity, and a few ill-timed volcanos, the weather turned rotten. These days, it’s called the Little Ice Age. Us pigshit stupid peasants who lived through it didn’t know anything about all that. All we knew was that it was freezing bloody cold and the crops kept dying.”

“Dude,” Dean hisses, red-faced as Crowley sets his shirt alongside his jacket and overcoat. “Stop it! We’re going to be thrown out!”

“No. Look around. Is anyone paying attention to us? Precisely. We’re invisible to them at the moment, Squirrel. One of my little tricks.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s good. But that’s still not an excuse to take your fucking pants off in public oh my God oh my God!”

They’re expensive pants and Crowley takes care to fold them before putting them down. “To cut a long story short; famine struck. And famine, it’s…”

Crowley pauses, thinking, ignoring Dean’s pathetic attempts not to gawk at his dick.

“It’s hard to describe famine to someone who hasn’t lived through one,” he says eventually. “Language – English, at least – isn’t equipped to convey what it feels like to be so hungry you’ll try to boil and eat someone else’s shoes. Then someone else’s children. Then your own children. There are no words for it. Or, if in some distant corner of our monstrous universe there are, then they’re words that would drive a human raving mad to speak them.”

Naked now but for his black socks, Crowley scratches his stubble. “Sometimes I think that’s why I got on so well in Hell.”

He sits back in his chair. Folds his legs. Taps his fingers on the side of his empty glass. “Don’t get me wrong; having someone cut open your lungs, fill them with scorpions, and sew them up again isn’t fun. But – how can I put this? – you can process it. You can grapple with it. You know why you’re suffering; because you’re in Hell, and that’s what Hell is for. It makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is going about your everyday life and watching all the people around you – the baker, the priest, the prettiest girl in the village – go about theirs while they turn into walking skeletons. And knowing they didn’t do anything to deserve it. Couldn’t have done anything to deserve it, because no crime, no matter how vile, warrants that kind of punishment.”

Dean says nothing.

After a moment, Crowley pulls himself from the dark, sucking well of memory to add, “Anyway, to answer your question; I don’t want to be a hot chick because a. I’m a man and b. hot chicks are skinny, and I will cheerfully burn this world to the ground before I endure living in a hungry body ever again.”

He glances down at his unclothed meat suit and smiles proudly, running a hand up one of its thick thighs. “Also – y’know – I personally think this long-deceased lad of mine is sexy as Hell.”

Gazing at his shoulder, Dean says roughly, “Didn’t know you had tattoos.”

“Oh. Those. Yeah. Can’t stand them. Worst decision the stupid bastard ever made.”

“I think they’re kinda cool.”

“Do you? Well, you do have incredibly bad taste so perhaps that’s not surprising. Now, are you going to get over here and put that erection to good use?”

Oh, bless him; he’s adorable when he squirms.

“Here?” Dean asks, eyes wide.

“Here.”

He says it like a challenge, for Dean can never resist one of those. Immediately, those wide eyes become narrow and determined.

The boy stands. Looms over Crowley, who casually flicks both their glasses to the floor and moves to sit on the cool wooden table. It’s clean, more or less, thanks to Dean (for once) agreeing to follow Crowley to a semi-respectable establishment.

“These hands,” Crowley murmurs, running them across Dean’s broad chest, “don’t have a single callous or scar. See? Soft as butter. Not a single day’s honest work, either of them.”

Dean swallows. Leans in to kiss him, hesitant and gentle.

Contrary to popular belief, Crowley likes gentle. Or, more accurately, Crowley likes being pampered.

He goes on: “And these legs…”

A groan escapes Dean’s lips as one presses up against his crotch.

“…these legs haven’t walked more than ten miles, collectively, since I moved in. No muscles. No blisters on the undersides of their feet. Not so much as a splinter.”

“Jesus,” Dean mumbles, drawing him in and latching onto his neck.

“And this stomach is never empty. Never even close. Never once forced to digest anything that isn’t purely, perfectly delicious. I treat my meat suits better than most people treat their family heirlooms.”

“Crowley. Fuck.”

He squeezes Dean’s arse and growls, “Because this is my reward, Dean. I won this. This softness, this safety. This nurtured, nourished flesh. I endured the seventeenth century and all humanity’s horrors. Endured my mother. Endured Hell. Built myself a reputation and a kingdom. All for this. And isn’t it wonderful? Say that it is, Dean.”

“Yeah,” Dean moans, even though he can’t understand a word; Crowley slipped into Gaelic a while ago.

(The things Crowley wants to tell Dean and the things Crowley wants Dean to know are categories that rarely overlap.)

Crowley takes Dean’s leaking cock in hand.

“Say I’m beautiful.”

Dean’s knees buckle as he whimpers, so Crowley wraps an arm around his narrow, underfed waist.

“Say you love me.”

Dean comes in his palm, gasping and cursing.

“Say you love me more than anyone else.”

“I’m guessing that was all Scottish dirty talk?” says Dean when he has his breath back. “You were – what? Calling me your bitch?”

Crowley smirks, licks the sweat off Dean’s jaw, and gives his backside a pat before reaching for his clothes. “None of your business. Go get me another drink, would you? Ta.”

the end

NOTES: The title is taken from a quote found in Karen Cullen’s ‘Famine in Scotland: the ‘Ill Years’ of the 1690s’ (you can find extracts via googlebooks). Yes, canonically Crowley WOULD have been about thirty when this happened. Just in case his origin story wasn’t horrific enough wheee :D

#drowley #dean winchester #crowley #supernatural #spn crowley #my fic

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