#They're idiots

[crowley-anthony]

The 'Why are they like this and why am I love in with them?'

[nelkcats]

Lost Contact

Danny fell in love with Bruce Wayne in college. If he was completely honest with himself he didn't even know about Gotham or the outside world by that point, he just knew he had to get away from home for a while and complete his studies.

He didn't expect to run into a playboy billionaire who was supposedly very dumb at his college; Danny knew better, he could tell the difference between the act and the real Bruce, someone truly thoughtful, caring and very smart, but no one but him noticed so he didn't say anything.

They became very good friends despite their obvious latent crush and on graduation day Danny was about to confess when he got a call from home asking for help with the GIW. The halfa had no choice but to say goodbye not wanting to get Bruce in his mess.

When he returned to Gotham months later he learned that Bruce was gone, his butler informed him that he would be back but didn't know when and the halfa returned to Amity in disappointment. He decided to take over the Realms for a while and distract himself with all the responsibilities he had been avoiding.

Years later he was called for a college reunion. Danny was very nervous, he hadn't kept in touch with the outside world but his core was still glowing for the billionaire, he wondered if Bruce would remember him.

Despite his plan to confess his old feelings (and pretend they no longer existed), Danny was unable to do anything but look at Bruce who greeted him with a smile and a small child at his side. The halfa grimaced, maybe he was married?

Bruce seemed excited to see him again and exchanged his contact, asking him not to go off the radar again, the halfa felt a little guilty about it. They continued to communicate over the years. Danny noted with amusement how his crush kept adopting children and calling him for a dinner at the mansion.

[theshadowsooc]

[eternalbobatea]

Gansey, genuinely worried: ADAM YOU'RE BLEEDING OUT LET ME PAY THE AMBULANCE BILLS ISTG (I swear to Glendower)

Adam fucking Parrish, laying in a pool of his own blood: I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound?? Stay out of it

[jheselbraum]

"Zelda loves Link and is stressing about it because surely Link, hero of Hyrule, her favored knight, appointed for her protection, and her closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for her. Meanwhile, Link is running around in the background devoting 110% of his being to her and would do anything for her and has actually already confessed, like, five times Zelda just didn't pick up on it because she was overthinking it" and "Link loves Zelda and is stressing about it because surely Zelda, Sage of Time, princess of Hyrule, who must marry royal blood, who lives with Link in his fucking house, who has 10,000 years worth of faith and trust in him, who even as a dragon after she lost her self protected Link, his closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for him. Meanwhile, Zelda is running around in the background toppling the monarchy and reforging the societal fabric of Hyrule so they can be together. She's also confessed like, five times but Link hasn't picked up on it because he's overthinking it" are two concepts that can coexist

[gloriaregaii]

My roman empire.

@rh6enys / kai on Tiktok.

[the-pobble-terrarium]

this is how the sleepover should have gone

[sakumira-agashi]

When you get to trauma dump at your boss and coworker's wedding. Based of that one part in the fic where the sexual tension is so suffocating that he had to talk to Francis about it

(Boss with Benefits, omegaverse AU)

[that-starry-freak]

"I can fix them"?

NO THEY CAN FIX ME

I SWEAR

[felixeis003]

cody with an acts of service love language keeps doing his general’s flimsiwork for him, except obi-wan does the exact same thing for him and they keep trying to best each other in doing each other’s flimsiwork without the other knowing ofc, because each would insist to do it themselves

Boil : *walking through a room in the Negotiator*

Boil : *sees Cody at a table*

Cody : *furiously working at a mountain of flimsiwork, muttering under his breath*

Boil : *raises eyebrow, keeps on walking*

  *later*

Boil : *walking somewhere else in the Negotiator*

Boil : *sees the general, doing the exact same thing Cody was doing*

Boil : wtf

Waxer : *coming to stand besides Boil* they’ve been doing this exact dance for three days

[goldenphoenix4]

bau squabbling like a family playing monopoly pt. 2

morgan, on the phone to garcia: just leave it alone until i get there

*garcia gives an unintelligible yet certainly bratty response*

morgan: hey- hey! hardhead, don't make me spank you when i get back

reid: don't listen to him, garcia! he's all talk!

*morgan hits reid on the back of the head*

reid: jj, he just hit me!

jj, preoccupied by case files: boys, behave, or i will ground you both

[forgetriestowrite]

THEY DID TRIPLE BOULDER-PARCHMENT-SHEARS AGAIN

AND ENDED UP WITH THE SAME RESULT AS LAST TIME

THEY NEVER LEARN

GOD I LOVE THIS CAST

[sqswisashitposter]

[unclewaynemunson]

Wingman Wayne AU pt4 is here! | AO3 link

Eddie comes back home from his not-a-date with Steve much later than planned; the two of them ended up spending the whole afternoon at the cafe together, sharing stories, getting to know each other, laughing at weird passersby... Eddie hadn't even noticed how much time had passed until it was already getting dark outside.

Wayne is about ready to head out for his night shift when Eddie gets to the trailer, and shoots him a way too smug look.

'So your date went well, huh?'

Eddie makes a face at him. ‘Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly, old man,’ he says. ‘In all honesty, I do have to admit that Steve’s actually a good guy - but that’s the only credit you’ll be gettin’ here. We merely had a fun time bonding over some queer stuff. I can assure you that there was completely no attraction whatsoever.’

Wayne's face drops. 'That's too bad, Ed.'

'No, it's not,' Eddie replies. 'I'm perfectly happy being single, you do know that, right?'

'Yeah, of course.' But it doesn't quite sound like he means it.

'Seriously, don't worry about me. I'm fine,’ Eddie says. He gives Wayne an affectionate pat on his near-bald head. ‘And you should go to work now, before they fire you for being a sentimental old man.'

As soon as Wayne’s truck drives off, Eddie finds himself at the phone, the gross note with Steve's number on it clenched in his hand again.

'Hey, um, just wanted to let you know that uncle was very disappointed there was no spark between us,' Eddie reports when Steve picks up the phone.

'Well, let's hope he finally learned his lesson not to mingle in your love life, then,' Steve answers with a light chuckle.

'He's the worst,' Eddie says, but then immediately feels bad about it, so he adds, 'He actually means well. I think he worries. Not that he needs to, I decided I'm better off single anyway.'

'Really?' Steve sounds surprised.

'Yeah, I guess I'm not exactly a relationship type of guy, you know.'

'You've never been in a relationship?' There's no judgment behind the question, only curiosity.

'Uhh...' Eddie hesitates. But Steve's queer too, he'd understand, right?

'I don't know,' he settles on saying. 'I mean, I've been someone's dirty secret a couple times. Turns out that my definition of a relationship doesn't always align with that of closeted Chads. So that’s why I decided I'm better off alone.'

There's a silence at the other end of the line, and Eddie wonders if he overshared again. He knows he shouldn't do that, but sometimes he just can't help himself. He had been so excited about having met a fellow queer guy, someone who'd understand him... Maybe he misjudged Steve after all.

'You do know there are options out there that aren't closeted Chads, right?' Steve finally says. It sounds genuinely empathetic, putting a halt to Eddie's spiraling thoughts and reminding him that he doesn't need to worry, that Steve's a good guy, that he indeed understands.

Eddie laughs. 'Sorry, Stevie, you're still not my type.'

'I'm not – that's wasn't – I didn't mean it like that,' Steve splutters at the other end of the line. 'I just meant, you know, it’s not completely impossible that there could be someone out there for you. Someone who won't treat you like some dirty secret, who will love you as much as you deserve, you know?'

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up at those words. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling nervous but not exactly knowing why. 'You're starting to sound like my uncle,' he tries to joke.

Steve chuckles. 'Maybe your uncle is wiser than you give him credit for.'

'Are you calling yourself wise, Steve?'

'No, I'm calling your uncle wise. You should probably listen to him more.'

'If I listened to him more, we'd be going on another date tomorrow and get married this summer. Is that what you want, Stevie?'

'Well, the getting married this summer sounds a bit rushed,' Steve says, 'but I wouldn't mind seeing you again.'

Eddie's heart drops to his stomach. 'Steve...' he starts, all the jokey undertones having disappeared from his voice. 'I told you that it's not like that, for me.' He thought he had been more than clear about that right from the start, in fact.

'No! Oh, God, no, I didn't mean it like that,' Steve immediately says. 'I just meant, like, if you ever wanna hang out or something... As friends, you know. It's um – it'd be nice to have a – another queer friend.'

Eddie releases a relieved breath. 'Okay, got it,' he says. 'Good. Perfect. Yeah, we should definitely hang out another time. As friends.'

Pt5

Jesus H Christ I’m honestly blown away by the response to this silly au, it means so much to me <333 I’m reading all your lovely comments and hilarious tags with the biggest smile on my face, makes me sooo happy!!

(Update: apparently there was something wrong with the taglist but I think I fixed it, sorry!! Please lemme know if the tags are still not coming through)

Taglist: @phantypurple @love-kurdt @eddiemunsonswife @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @swimmingbirdrunningrock @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @yourebuckingkiddingme @th3-r4t-k1ng @messrs-weasley @moonshadows-13 @im-sam-fucking-winchester @xjessicafaithx @yournowheregirl @henderdads @lwhoscribbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @rainydays35  @cassaloopa @skeliiix @thesuninyaface @silversnaffles @jestyzesty @4nemo1egend @ace-of-foxes @harringtonsgother @thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @thereindeerlady @jillfriend @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @gamerdano @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @00biscuit @mixsethaddams @steve-the-hairrington @episcogoth @caligularib @gaydrieeen @winterbuckwild @bookbinderbitch @daysarestranger @nonbinary-eddie-munson @fangirltofangod @solalasoforth @obsessivlyme @slit-wrist @fxndom-hoe @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @joruni @roastingdragon @lenore1232 @princessstevemunson @cuips-not-cute @munsonsuccubus @justalittlefungi @cherrycolas-things @nitrilexam @thepainisspicy @hopefulslothcollecter @whatisreggieshortfor @doctorqueensanatomy @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sadcanadianwinter @iamsotiredman @orangeandthefairroadkill @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @b-icetea @freddykicksasses @faery-god @poleaxed-aloe @mamaclownhunter @paperbackribs @blvckwidow @mightbeasleep @butuglypeoplefucktoo @lolawon @angryavocadofrog @iwouldsail @livelaughlexa @magpiemuseum @shushuac  @ravnlinn @homohomohoe @kissaphobic-kas @cmackz93 @your-greatest-queen @alltheweirdkidsinoneplace @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @ceaselessly-watching @anaibis @enchantedlandcoffee @fluffy-alpaca-of-darkness @nelotegreitic @mollymawkwrites @evix-syne666 @redfreckledwolf @ajamlessbaby @connected-dots @nothisisntmyname @steddieassheg0es @anxiouseds

[tfofufu]

two birds but pre-tgm hangster

[aithusarosekiller]

James and Barty would fake marriage proposals in public places to get reactions bc it was hilarious to them

And they spoke about wanting to actually get engaged at some point but James decided he wanted it to be a surprise because he is a little shit and he decided to do it in public bc he thinks he is hilarious

One day James takes him out to the nearby pier, gets on one knee, takes out a ring box Barty has never seen before, and opens it to reveal a beautiful new ring he has also never seen before

He asks him to marry him and it goes a little like

Barty: IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE POTTER

Everyone around: 0_0

James: wh-

Barty: WHAT???? ARE YOU JOKING???? WHAT? JAMES I AM SO CONFISED RIGHT NOW??? WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT RING?

James: Babe-

Barty: WHAT IS HAPPENING? WE DID NOT DISCUSS THIS ONE

Everyone: ????

James: darling, I'm actually asking you to marry me

Barty: I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS IS A JOKE

James: B-

Barty: JAMES HELP ME

James, standing up and grabbing him by the face: I AM ASKING YOU TO MARRY ME

Barty: WHY

James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY?

Barty: IS THIS FOR ATTENTION FROM THE GENERAL PUBLIC OR BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY WANNA MARRY ME

James: I really want to marry you, Barty.

Barty: *static sounds as his brain stops working* huh