#They're honestly my favorite part of Death Note

[italictext]

Light, I love you but you are ANNOYING to color

[sheisjoeschateau]

"Oh, so we DO love Steve... | PART VII

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+

CHAPTER VII WARNINGS/NOTES: t.w.'s - strong language, ruthless banter, mentions of death, injuries, end-of-the-world terror talk, newfound shared codependency (but like it's healthy imo also it's valid lmao) jealousy. 18+

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this chapter is honestly a gahdamn MF feast. a favorite of mine NGL, for a multitude of reasons. Murray high key pops the fuck off like the boss bitch he is and takes us on a long lecture of a journey to visit the lordt of truth bombs. Eddie has zero chill. Robin is the bestest-best-fwend and platonic-with-a-capital-p soulmate to our boy. Dustin is a dingus. LUCAS BE SEEIN' THINGS. Hopper is Joppering. Nancy and Jonathan get a clue. Mama Steve and the kids are in full swing. We get a cutie cameo from Harrington's signature yellow sweater.

And our lovebirds finallyyyy......well.....say the magic word that they're feeling hehehe:)

ISSA LONG ONE. PROOFREAD UNTIL MY EYES BLED. IF THERE ARE STILL TYPOS, SORRY BOUT IT. 18+

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Steve knew he would have to face downstairs again at some point before the morning.  Definitely before everyone else went to bed.  But he couldn’t bring himself to.  Not yet.

Because right now, you were fast asleep in his arms.  Laid carefully on your back for the sake of your bad shoulder, with your head turned into his chest.  Steve was propped up on an elbow, facing you with his other hand gliding his fingertips to trace your arm draped across your chest.  He drew shapes up your arm, now adorned with his yellow crewneck, up to your jawline so that he could tuck your hair behind your ear. 

And all the while, he just stared at your chest – comforted by the steady rise and fall.  It kept him sane.  It kept his eyes open.  It kept him from letting the nightmare return.  You slept so peacefully, he might never have known you’d been dead in his arms earlier that day.

“You are beautiful, Steve Harrington.”

Your words from last night ran through his mind on a loop, like a VHS tape on replay.

“I can’t stand you.”

You’d said it in the warmest voice Steve had ever heard in his life.  Somehow, those words meant more to him than I love you.  Because when he said it back, he realized it meant the same thing. 

“I can’t stand you either.” 

I love you too.

Steve carefully placed his forehead against your temple, eyes fluttering shut and breathing you in.  Something danced inside of his stomach.  It ached, it burned and it warned him of all the things he feared feeling the most for anyone except the girl downstairs who had made love seem lost.  He never wanted those feelings to return again for anyone else but her – Nancy.  And yet here he was: every one of those feelings rushed back tenfold, for the girl upstairs in his guest bedroom lying beside him.  The girl who had ruined the chance at a life for him with Nancy Wheeler.  The girl he swore was the reason he was robbed of all things good.  Robbed of love.  True love.

But he no longer loved Nancy Wheeler. 

Steve Harrington loved you.

Downstairs, everyone is quiet but productive. 

Joyce is organizing the last of the stashed supplies.  The kids are eating some bowls of hot soup, served up by Murray.  He had to stay busy and shake off the frayed nerves.   Otherwise, he’d go berserk.  Completely berserk.  Joyce gently helped him but knew better than to baby him.  She was surprised to find Erica walking over, offering to help serve up some glasses of water or sodas for everyone.  To everyone’s surprise, they operated well.  Like chef and sous-chef.  What an unlikely duo.

Hopper and El were talking in the living room about the potential new plan, and Mike moved from the table where he sat with the kids and teens to join them.

Steve could hear them all down there, the ambience muffled on the other side of the closed door separating you both from the rest of the world outside of each other's arms.  He could have fallen asleep right there with you if he let himself.

But a soft knock on the door made him crane his head to look towards the source of the noise.  With one last look at you, he carefully slipped his arm out from underneath you.  You never stirred, the rhythm of your breathing still intact and your mind lost in sleep.

Steve wasn’t sure who to expect on the other side of the door.  But as he ran a hand through his hair, he found himself not caring. 

Turns out, it was Murray.  He stood with two bowls of hot soup, now staring into the eyes of Steve Harrington — who he begrudgingly noted still looked dashing, despite his towel-dried bedhead and tired eyes.

Seriously, no one should make a t-shirt and sweatpants look that good. 

Your uncle cleared his throat.  “Uhh, I made some soup.”

Steve gave him a timid but grateful nod, taking one of the bowls.  Glancing back over his shoulder, Murray followed Harrington’s gaze — back at you, sleeping in bed. 

“She’s still out,” Steve told him. 

Murray nodded.  “I’ll keep hers warm downstairs.”  An awkward silence fell over Murray and Steve, but finally your uncle continued.  “Listen, why not come down?  Let her rest, get yourself some water or — a sandwich maybe, to go with the soup.  Erica says she’ll make them but I'm reallllly not feeling confident about that.”

Steve allowed himself a soft chuckle at that, biting his lip and glancing back at you. 

“She’s alright,” your uncle assured Steve.  “Trust me.  I keep having to remind myself that, too.”

Steve was glad that the two of them could relate on that — endlessly worrying about you.  He was also glad that your uncle wasn’t giving him shit for it, and honestly Murray was extremely pleasant when he wasn’t being an ass.  It took Steve by surprise.  No wonder you two were related.  With a reluctant sigh, Steve agreed to follow Murray downstairs for some more grub.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Steve’s eyes first landed on Nancy sitting with Robin and Joyce.  She looked over at Steve with her big blue eyes, which danced with longing.  Steve’s doe brown eyes didn’t return it, but he lightly smiled in her direction anyway.  Robin immediately perked up, jogging over to Steve from her seated position on the floor.  She grabbed him for a tight hug, and he made sure not to spill his bowl of soup.

“Sorry sorry, I’ve just — been worried sick.”

“S’okay, Robs,” Steve murmured, appreciating the comfort.  She pulled back to look at him, giving him a sad smile.  She wanted to ask him a million questions, but knew it best to save it for later.

“C’mon,” Robin told him, tilting her head towards the kitchen.  “Let’s go grab some crackers or something to go with that soup, which you need to eat.  Don’t even think about not eating, Steve.  I’m serious, okay?”

Steve listened to her keep rambling on as they walked into the kitchen, where Erica and Lucas were bickering about PB&J’s, and Murray stepped in to take back his title as head chef.  Eddie and Jonathan were sitting at the dining table, clearly in deep conversation but ceasing once they noticed them walking in.  Jonathan gave him a pitying look, while Eddie flashed a dopey grin to try and hide whatever serious talk was just going down.

Dustin, Mike and Will all rounded the corner as Steve moved to sit at the bar.  They all sat next to him happily.  YAY, MOM’S HOME.

Steve ruffled Dustin’s hair absentmindedly as he sipped on his soup and stared down at his spoon.  Erica was shoving a very haphazard looking sandwich in front of him while Lucas told him he’d spit it out after the first bite, which sent all the kids into a frenzy of bickering, lighthearted insults and witty comebacks.  Steve sighed, content as he ate several mouthfuls of the sandwich while listening to his kids squabble.

Jonathan was shaking his head over in the corner, observing this.  “Guy’s a hero to those kids,” he murmured, only loud enough for Eddie to hear. 

“Babysitter turned full-time mom turned hero,” Eddie smirks, amused.  “Dude’s a legend.”

Jonathan scoffs, amused but also not.  “Wasn’t always...”

Eddie clocks what he means by that.  He knew King Steve, too.  But Eddie can see a twinge of something else in Joanthan’s eyes, surprised to see it.  Jealousy.  It’s subtle.  Not toxic, or even remotely a threat. 

That is, until Jonathan sees Nancy moving to take a sandwich from Erica — her eyes wandering over to Steve and the kids.  She looks enchanted, melancholy.  Is she sad?  Why is she sad?

…why is she sad looking at Steve?

Jonathan’s brow furrows.  Eddie decides he better speak up and interrupt whatever he’s thinking.  Because he sees it too.  Uh oh.

“Trust me, he was a dick.  I know.  Told him so myself.”  Eddie tries to make light of it, grinning.  “But I think sometimes…some folks just need a big thump on the head.  Shit, I did.  I used to run away from alllllll my problems.  Hell, I…I’ve even had my share of making others feel small, just so I can feel big.  Not in a bad way, though.  Never mean.  Just…immature.  Y’know?  Point is, I’ve been there too.  Maybe not as big a dick as Harrington…”  He snorted.  “No pun intended.”

Jonathan whipped his head in Eddie’s direction.  What did that mean?

Eddie quickly tried to cover up his reference to the Hawkins High heartthrob’s manhood.  “I just mean, I just mean — like — we’ve all been dicks.  You know?  Big ones.  Small ones.  Medium…sized…ones.”

He counted at least 5 perplexed blinks from Jonathan.  Eddie sighed, exasperated with himself.  “The point, the point.  We uhh…we live and we learn.  Right?”

Jonathan finally let his tense shoulders loosen up at that, but he glanced back at Nancy – who was still watching Steve as she got herself a glass of water and letting Robin ramble to her.  And Jonathan also watched Steve, who was now telling Dustin to share the box of crackers with everyone and not hog them from everybody. 

It began to click for Jonathan.  The longing stares.  The unusually strained affection between him and Nancy, ever since he got back.  He knew that was partially his fault, if not entirely his fault, given him pulling away from her after moving to California.  But then he got back to Hawkins, and realized the second he saw her that he’d been a fool to think he would ever be better off without her, or convince himself that she could be better off without him.  One look at her made it all go away.  They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and Jonathan was definitely aware of that now.

But had it made Nancy’s heart grow fonder, too?  For Jonathan?

…or had distance made her heart grow fonder for someone else…

Someone else who she had distanced herself from once before, when she found love and comfort in Jonathan Byers’ arms.  Harrington had been away from Nancy when she was around Byers, and then Byers was away from Nancy when the world went to shit again, putting her back around Harrington again.  No Byers in sight.

…was this karma?  Jonathan Byers was beginning to wonder that.  Was this what he got for so confidently whisking Wheeler away from Steve back in high school?  Is this what he got for thinking he was safe?

…maybe that is what Steve meant when screaming at him earlier, as they tried to pump you back to life.

“DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING STOP.”  Jonathan would never forget the way that Steve’s sounded as he spewed at him.  Broken, anguished and betrayed.

“IT’S NOT WORKING,” Jonathan had wept bitterly.  “IT’S TOO LATE.”

When Nancy had chosen Jonathan, Steve never got mad.  He never got mad at either of them.  He told Nancy he got it; that it was okay.  And he never said anything to Byers about it.  Next time they ran into each other, it was just tense silence.  Steve might have picked a fight with Jonathan once before, that damn morning in the alleyway when Will was still missing.  But that was 2 years ago now, and it felt childish compared to everything that had happened since then.  Steve’s anger then was so subdued to what it could have been, and he never explored anger towards Jonathan once he had successfully managed to take his girl.

But the way that Steve Harrington looked at Jonathan now, while you were dead beneath their hands, was fueled by anger.  Red hot and flaming.  He looked ready to finally unleash on Jonathan, ready to blame him for his existence and how it only brought Steve grief.  For once, Steve Harrington looked rightfully angry with Jonathan Byers for being the source of his pain.  Steve looked ready to punch him square in the jaw and beat him up the way he’d had his own face beat up by not just Byers, but also Billy Hargrove and the Russians.

“DON’T SAY THAT.  NO ONE GAVE UP ON YOUR BROTHER, YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GIVE UP ON US NOW?  THINK ANY OF US WANTED TO STOP WHEN WE THOUGHT IT WAS TOO LATE?  FUCK YOU, BYERS.  FUCK YOU.”

Jonathan deserved it.  He completely deserved it.  All of it.  It had been a long time coming, and while it was over 2 years past due…he took it.  All of it.  Even what was still left unsaid.  Jonathan let Steve verbally rip him to shreds before Eddie took over and brought you back to life with Steve instead of him.

And that’s why now, as Jonathan watched Nancy catch him staring at her — looking caught as she tried to give him a smile — he let it happen.  He just gave her a reluctant smile back, accepting his fate.  Because now, after what he had seen today, he realized that Steve wasn’t even a threat.  Maybe a month or so ago, he would have been.  But that wasn’t the case now, which he only knew after seeing the way that Steve clung to you and sobbed uncontrollably over your lifeless body – then afterwards, when you were alive again. 

Steve no longer pined for Nancy Wheeler.  He pined for you. 

Not for long, though.  Honestly, it was as clear as day that whatever was going on between the two of you was mutual.  The way you held Steve earlier, comforted him — assuring him that it was alright, you were alright — and how you stroked his leg in the living room before he helped you upstairs and disappeared for a couple of hours into your assigned guest room… Jonathan knew, along with Eddie, that Steve Harrington’s heart was in your hands, and yours was his. 

It’s what Jonathan and Eddie had brought up at the table.  Not the whole “why hasn’t Steve unleashed his anger on me until today” aspect of things.  But the fact that you and Steve, who seemingly could not stand each other, now seemed like a pair.  

Nancy moved to sit next to Jonathan, who awkwardly poked at his soup bowl and did his best to fake a smile.  Eddie watched them, knowing.  Man, he could really use one of his guitars right now to pluck out the tension…

Lucas was saying something about Max needing to be checked on upstairs, which made Steve quickly shove the last of his sandwich into his mouth so that he could come help him and Erica along with Will, El and Mike.  They all made their way up, and Dustin stayed behind.  He moved over to the big kids table, bringing the box of crackers over with him.  He plopped down next to Eddie, who was grateful for the comic relief after the tense talk at the table.  Robin moved to bring over fresh cups of coffee, sitting between everyone.

“So uhhh, we gonna talk about it?”

Dustin’s question made everyone freeze. 

Robin cocked an eyebrow, leaning onto her elbows to sip her coffee.  “About what…?”

“About Bauman and Steve, and how we all clearly did not see it coming.”

Robin choked on her coffee.  Nancy stiffened next to Jonathan, which he didn’t miss — considering her hand was resting on his forearm.  Eddie drummed the table awkwardly while nodding and staring straight ahead at absolutely nothing. 

“Yeeeeeee-up, caught me off guard,” Eddie said.  “I’m normally good at picking up on that shit.”

Robin was still working on clearing her throat.  “Look, we don’t know anything yet —”

“He’s literally your best friend, Robin,” Dustin accused with an eye roll.  “If any of us know, you do.”

“Well my strange, tiny friend,” Robin quipped wryly, “I’m afraid I’m just as in the dark on this as you are.”  She sighed, leaning back in her seat with a flash of concern in her eyes.  “I really should have seen it coming, though.  I was so sure he was just gonna keep on hating her guts.”

“I still don’t understand why he hated her at all,” Dustin said, adorably naive. 

Eddie smirked, uneasy.  “Meh, not important.”

“Seriously, they got along just fine whenever we fought the demodogs,” Dustin continued, oblivious.  “And at the snowball, but then after that he just – went at it with her all the time, even though they would both still hang out with us.  Like an old married couple.”

Nancy listened intently, trying to keep up and put the pieces together.  Because truly, she herself had been wondering what changed.  But she had been so focused on her life, in her own world with Jonathan and their jobs, she really hadn’t paid much attention to the fact that you and Steve had gotten along at the start, then not at all, and now…well…

Robin puffed out a breath of air.  “Maybe they’ve just…gotten closer.  You know, found a way to get along.  Murray’s an ass, and even though she’s not and I love her, Steve’s not exactly the easiest to get along with even though I love him —”

Dustin scoffed.  “Robin.  He kissed her.”

Eddie clicked his tongue, trying to think of Metallica lyrics and avoid looking in Nancy or Jonathan’s direction.

Robin stared.  “What?”

“When?”  Nancy’s voice startled the room, and Jonathan seemed to cringe at it.

“Dustin,” Jonathan sighed.

“Today,” Dustin kept talking.  “Whenever we…brought her back.  He — he kissed her.  He literally bawled on top of her and wouldn’t let her go.” 

Dustin’s eyes lost all of the annoyance, now looking sad as he thought back on it all.  Robin stared at him along with Nancy, barely breathing.  Even Eddie looked over at him. 

“I’ve never…I’ve never seen him that upset,” Dustin murmured.  “Steve’s never sad.  Not like that.  I’ve never even seen him cry.  Not once.  Robin, did he ever cry while you both got tortured in the Russian chambers?”

Robin thinks back on that, gnawing at her lip, deep in thought.  She shook her head, realizing… “No.  No, he didn’t.  Just – panicked, but not…he didn’t cry.”

“Exactly,” Dustin says.  “Because he’s awesome.  He’s brave, and cool, and awesome.  Steve doesn’t cry.  Today?  He bawled.”

“Seeing someone die in front of you does that, man,” Eddie pointed out, melancholy.  “I know I did whenever Chrissy died… You cried today.  I did.  Byers did.”

“Not like that,” Dustin insisted, voice firm.  It made everyone go quiet again.  “Not like that,” he repeated.  “That’s how I would have cried if…like, if Suzy died.  Or how Lucas did when Max died before we got her back.  How Hopper and Joyce would.  How Jonathan and Nancy would.”

That made the present couple go stiff.  But Jonathan nodded, eyes boring a hole into his coffee mug.  “S’true,” he mumbled.  “If that were you, I would.”

Nancy looked at him, eyes guilty.  Of course, it was the same for her.  But she couldn’t focus on that right now.  Not now that her collective thoughts and observations were confirmed.  Now that she knew for sure…

“It’s not a matter of if they’re into each other,” Dustin kept going, certain.  “It’s a matter of when.  When did it start and how were we blind?”

But no one could answer that.  Robin couldn’t, and she was shocked that she couldn’t.  She knew her best friend all too well.  How had she not seen this coming?  How could she not have sensed that his never ending hatred towards you was slowly developing into liking you?  Maybe even loving you…?

Eddie had only started sensing it that day.  Until then, he had been the one to encourage Steve to go after Nancy.  To get her back, win her over.  But that stopped whenever Jonathan came back into the picture, of course.  He knew better than to cross that line.  Still, he knew that Harrington loved her and pined for her.  He also knew why Harrington couldn’t stand you, along with Robin.  They adored you, hoping at some point that you both could just become friends who tolerated each other.  Eddie never thought it would become more than that: a civilized friendship.

And Nancy felt something heavy sit on top of her chest that she really could not seem to accept yet: the truth.  She lost Steve.

“Alright, guessing game is over.” 

Murray’s voice rounding the corner made everyone jump, and he eyed down everyone at the table as he walked in with his empty soup bowl.  He made for the sink, turning on the faucet with his eyes still glued to the five people seated at the dining table, who stared back awkwardly.  Finally, he looked down as he washed his dish.

“Take it from the witchdoctor of love: those two had it coming.”

Eddie cocked an eyebrow, completely amused. 

Jonathan, however, was not.  This was so karma.

“...had what coming?” Dustin asked. 

Robin shot him a look — bless his little naive heart.

“Psh, c’monnnn,” Murray said, rinsing the bowl.   “The sexual tension.  The incessant arguing.  Harrington’s personal utmost disdain towards her.”

Nancy spoke up, unable to help herself.  “But…why though?  She didn’t do anything wrong.  Why would he have disdain towards her…?”

Jonathan hated how irritated Nancy’s question made him feel towards her.  It irked him deeply, but he just let it fester quietly as he sat there staring down at his cup of black coffee and having no choice but to listen.

Murray looked at Nancy with the most condescending expression, uncensored as fuck.  “Honey…really?” 

Off Nancy’s clueless expression, Murray rolled his eyes in the back of his skull as he slapped the faucet off before whirling to face them.

“Once upon a time, two years ago: you and Jonathan came over to my bunker — uninvited — waltzing your way into my business, along with my niece’s.  Thankfully, to our benefit, you helped us crack the case and — not so much to our benefit — onboarded us into your mess.  But rewinding back a few slides, you two stayed over because of the vodka coursing through all of our veins and tried to convince the two of us — AKA yourselves — that you two were just friends.  Which was the biggest load of unbelievable bullshit you both could have told me, and that’s after you told me everything pertaining to the absurdity and pure insanity regarding the upside down.  But really, it was a great belly laugh for me and my niece, so thank you.  Thennnn, my niece offered to let you both take her bed — not buying a lick of it, and suggesting you both stop being in denial.  On top of that, as a former student at Hawkins High, she knew King Steve very well.  She knew how Wheeler and Harrington both started dating, and how much closer the two of you —”  (he gestured between Jonathan and Nancy) “— had gotten since Will Byers went missing then got rescued.  Because my niece isn’t stupid.  She could’ve been class valedictorian if she’d wanted to, but — being like her cynical uncle — she didn’t wanna.  She’s a street-smart annnnnd booksmart cookie.  She knew you both were bound to let the trauma bond get you both together, and that genuine love had formed between the two of you way more than it had between her and Steve.  So she called it out, after being fed a bunch of coo-coo-bananas nonsense from you guys in my casa about being 'platonic.' " 

Eddie's jaw was practically touching the table. This was literally the best story he's ever heard, and it had just freaking started.

Robin felt like she was watching a movie in her mind, one in which her best friend was the main character and she was rooting for him like life depended on it.

"Fast forward to the lab, El’s grand return, Will’s exorcism, the demodogs, the Snowball, and our little house party that followed —” (he pointed at Dustin) “— you forgot that part — turns out, Jonathan Byers can’t take his liquor, so what does he do?  He goes over to my niece, who’s standing in the kitchen — like so,” (he gestured to himself) “ — and starts profusely thanking her in a string of loud, slurred, drunken words, about how he was chosen one, and how he got the girl, alllllll thaaaaannnksss toooo myyyyyy niiiieeeeeccccce."

Nancy's blood ran cold. What? 

"And because it was such a small house, no offense Henderson, unlike Casa Harrington — the king himself heard it all.  Every lick of it.  So of course, who’s he gonna hate with a fiery burning passion more than he ever could hate Jonathan Byers for stealing his girl?  The person who told him to do it.  Myyyyyy niece.  Because he can’t hate Nancy Wheeler, never-ever-ever could he hate the girl he swore was the love of his life.  And he couldn’t even hate Jonathan, because what had he done except be the victim of King Steve’s incessant bullying and his horrible posse of friends in high school while his brother was missing in another dimension?  But Steve had to hate someone.  To loathe someone, blame someone, more than himself.  So he chose her.  He chose my niece — and by extension me, but mainly her.  Because she was a part of the gang now, and around way more than I ever have been around you kids.  Which is to be expected.  So blah-blah-blah, hate-hate-hate, fight-fight-fight — soooo muchhhh traaaauma.” 

Murray paused for dramatic effect, soaking in everybody's faces, then continued. 

“...and what happens when there is trauma?... bonding.  Trauma bonding.  Forced alliance.  The need to put aside your differences, so that you all can just get along and survive.  And that leads to talking…which leads to more fighting…eventually, tears.  Lots of ugly words that can’t be taken back.  And then…suddenly…”  Murray snaps his fingers.  “Common ground.”

No one has made a sound, hanging onto Murray’s every word.

“Vecna ends the world.  At least, Hawkins.  We all somehow manage to survive it.  We all need somewhere to goooo…and we wind up here.  In a house, all underneath the same roof.  Forced to coexist.  Therefore, newfound respect and understanding is acquired when in close quarters.  Just as the two of you, Ms. Wheeler and Mr. Byers, found in my bunker.  Steve and my niece found themselves forced to live with one another, the space between them closing in.  Gap by gap, inch by inch…until…”

Murray made a gesture that looked like that of a magician, everyone’s eyes following.  “Magic.”  He walks closer, slowly.  “Some small talk becomes bigger talk.  Some childhood trauma that decorates the walls of Harrington’s house becomes the topic of conversation.  My niece just so happens to be a really good listener, and Steve happens to be in need of one.  They both discover they’re the only child in both their families.  His parents are absent.  Hers were barely ever present, before surrendering her to both mine and my mother’s care.  But she doesn’t mention that yet, no — why?  Because she’s listening.  Relating.  Understanding.  Meanwhile, Steve feels heard.  Seen.  Relevant.  Important.  Like maybe whatever he has to say matters.  Fast forward some more, blah-blah-blah…some more co-parenting later…which honestly, is the only reason those two maintained some sort of peace in the first place — aside from the inevitable perils that we all have had to face and be paid to keep our mouths shut about…”

Murray points to Dustin, who stares at him — agape. 

“You kids are the damn glue holding those two doomed enemies-soon-to-be-lovers together.  Not that you knew that.  You’re kids, and you don’t know that shit yet.  Which is good.  And they love that.  Steve might hate her, but he’s not gonna make you kids hate her.  And she finds him infuriating, but she isn’t gonna let you all know that by persuading you to feel the same.  Because he loves you rugrats, and you all love him…and you rugrats love her, as she loves you.  Fast forward to a night when all the kiddos are fast asleep, and the adults get a night to themselves with some cups of chilled vodka that fuels everyone’s laughter and newfound liquid courage — but just enough to give a light buzz, rather than sloshed drunkenness — the enemies, who’ve now become somewhat of friends…realize that they feel more.  Or at least, that’s what I observed.  Grilled my niece about it, that night before bed — and next thing you know — she is the victim of Uncle Murray’s love-talk lectures.  Just like you two were.  She’s swearing up and down that she cannot stand Steve, and that he cannot stand her.  She insists they are mortal enemies.  That he hates her.  Will forever hate her.  And then…that rambling turns into truth.  Admittance.  Denial, still.  But it’s enough to go off, allowing me to paint the picture and speak the truth into the world out loud: WE DO LOVE STEVE.”

Nancy freezes at that, eyes wide and heart blue.  She swallows thickly, and Jonathan feels sick.

Murray's conductor waving hands settled down, ready for the grand finish.

“...someone had to love Steve.  But it wasn’t you, Ms. Nancy Wheeler.  Not forever, anyway.  Not in the desperate, novel-esque ways we all read about or see in the cinemas.  But it was her.  You liked Steve, so that she could love Steve.  And he loved you, so that he could hate her…only to realize that he loved her. Deeply...madly...and truly.”

Murray leaned back, letting his rant come to a full stop.  The air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.  Mouths agape, brains fried and heartbeats racing.  They were stunned into shocked silence.  With a sigh, Murray made for the fridge.

“Do me a favor…”  He grabbed some juice, along with the vodka, pouring himself a cup.  Then, with a severe look in his eye, he faced the group again. 

“Don’t make a damn fuss about it yet, yeah?  Not yet.  Not to them.  Wanna do it with each other, go ahead.  But maybe lay off them for a bit, will you? Hmm?”

Everyone was surprised at the uncharacteristic parental tone in Murray’s voice and the look in his eyes.  They felt parented now.

“Maybe let the shock of this newfound realization they both just came to accept barely before my niece stopped breathing today…I dunno…simmer down a bit, yeah?”

Dustin gulped, nodding.  Robin did, too.  Eddie had pretty much bitten his nails down to stubs at this point, and Jonathan had shrunk so far down into his chair he was practically on the floor now.  Meanwhile, Nancy looked like a heartbroken child who’d just been told that Santa Claus wasn’t real.  With that, Murray raised his glass of jungle juice and exited the kitchen — vanishing, leaving the group to sit there in their own unsettled energy.

So when Lucas, Erica and Steve all shuffled back down the stairs, it alarmed them.  Robin stared at Steve and the kids, while Eddie rose to stand and grab the box of crackers from Dustin.  Jonathan swigged his coffee.  Nancy just stared at Steve helplessly.

“Alright, who needs more food before we all turn in for the night?” Steve asked as he moved to put away the sandwich fixings with Erica.

Nobody spoke, making Lucas look at them with a quizzical expression.  Erica did the same, stopping as she went to put the sleeve of bologna back into the snack pan.  Steve had been busy picking up discarded bowls and plates before he finally looked at everyone, too.  He cocked an eyebrow, confused.

“You, uhhh…you guys okay…?”

Robin tried to speak, choking on air.  Steve squinted at his best friend.  Finally, she found her voice.  “Sorry.  Got the jitters.  Too much coffee.”

She stood up hastily, collecting everyone else’s cups — even Jonathan’s, who was mid-sip.  Robin avoided Steve’s gaze as she dumped them into the sink with a very fake, wide toothy-grin.  She hummed while rinsing the cups, and Eddie clapped his hands together when rising to stand himself. 

“Better, uhh, go re-dress my, uhh — dressings.”

“I got you,” Robin said, splashing the hot water and dropping the sponge so that she could hurriedly dry off her hands and follow Eddie out of the room – giving Steve a quick kiss on the head.  He watched her go, curious. 

But then he saw Jonathan and Nancy sitting over at the table still, along with Dustin — who was staring back at him sheepishly.  The curly-haired kid stood up, clearing his throat and shuffling over with the now very-empty box of crackers.  He whistled while tossing it into the garbage and moved to finish the dishes.  That definitely made Steve raise an eyebrow.  But he figured it was out of pity, so instead he just gave the kid a pat on the back and ruffled his hair before going back to tidying up the kitchen.

Nancy felt queasy.  Really queasy.  And looking at Steve was not helping, especially being seated next to Jonathan.  She rose to stand, making him look at her back with queasiness of his own.  He watched the back of his girlfriend as she started to turn to look back at him…and when she couldn’t, it made his heart sink.  She walked towards the living room, disappearing behind the wall.  But not before passing by Joyce, who made her way into the kitchen to give Steve a motherly touch on the arm.

“Dr. Owens will be here first thing in the morning,” she told him, reassuringly.  “Real early.  Probably 6AM.  Hopper’s letting Murray know.”

Nancy refused to let herself cry that night about Steve Harrington and her newly unrequited love.

Jonathan watched his mom comfort Steve, and while it made him grateful it also made him sad.  Steve sighed with relief as he thanked Mrs. Byers, and when his mother began to help him find some temporary pain medication that Dr. Owen’s instructed her to give you, he decided he couldn’t listen anymore and left.

“You don’t think there’s anything wrong with her, do you?” Dustin asked.  “You know, heart-wise or anything…?”

“She’s gonna be fine,” Joyce told him sweetly, rubbing Steve’s back as he leaned against the kitchen counter with a tense back.  “Her heart, her shoulder, her mind.  Everything.”

Steve took deep breaths, and Erica would have hugged him if she weren’t so profusely against giving anyone any sort of physical affection. 

Lucas, however, did move to squeeze Steve’s shoulder next to Joyce.  After all the comfort he’d gotten from him after Max died, then got brought back…and still received, with her being in a coma…Lucas understood Steve’s pain. 

No one knew it, but Lucas had secretly caught onto Steve’s feelings for you whenever he went to visit Max in her room one morning but heard you both sitting in there.  Selfishly, he’d stayed behind the cracked door to listen in…and it made him freeze in place.  They way you and Steve bonded, despite all the rivalry between you both.  The way you both spoke to one another in Max’s presence, like she was keeping the storm at bay despite being asleep.  Lucas felt as though he was listening to a conversation taking place between two fighting parents, who were finally finding common ground.  He had secretly listened like a little kid, leaning against the wall, giddy and heartbroken at the same time.  Lucas wasn’t sure why, but he knew.  He just knew.  You two were crazy for one another.  Maybe because he and Max had their struggles, too.  Maybe something about the way Steve pushed you, and you pushed Steve — maybe it reminded him of them, just as older teens.  Steve was his hero, and you were Max’s.  He would give anything to talk with her about it, to hear whatever she had to say about the two of you…the unlikely duo…

But he didn’t say anything about it.  He felt it best not to push anything.  Not yet.  When Max woke up, he would.  But maybe now, he wouldn’t have to.  Because Steve had been faced with the possibility of losing you.  And if he was gonna mess that up, then that's preposterous.  Then Lucas would say something.

***

That night, Steve crawled back upstairs and ran into Robin coming out of his bedroom, having just discarded Eddie’s only wound dressings in the hallway bathroom and changing into her pajamas.  She was staying in Steve’s room, per usual.  And she wondered if she might have just caught him coming upstairs to sneak into your room and not his.  At this rate, nothing was a surprise anymore.  Thanks, Murray.

“Hey, dingus,” she grinned.  Steve grinned back. 

“You gonna finally get some sleep?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she nodded, gesturing to the blankets in her hands.  “Was just gonna go give Eds some fresh blankets.”

“Lemme know if you need help with that, seriously.  His wounds, I mean.  I’ll have Dr. Owens check on him tomorrow too, whenever he comes to check on Bauman.”

Robin nodded, biting her lip.  God, she wanted to ask him so many questions.  Hug him.  Tell her best friend to spill the damn beans.  Demand him to cry, to break down in front of her.  To scream.  To laugh.  Anything.

“Robs, you good?”

“Steve, I love you,” Robin blurted.  “Like – love you to death.  Best friends forever.  Just — just…”  She bit her lip some more, trying really hard to think before she speaks.  Steve waited patiently, a bit nervous.  Robin sighed.  “Just know that…I’m here.  And I’m always gonna be here.  Supporting you, with…whatever you need.  Even if that’s to shut up and just help you with something and not ask you any questions.  Alright…?”

Steve’s eyes sparkled, and he stitched up the distance between them to give her the tightest of hugs.  His best friend of a soulmate.  Platonic with a capital P.  Robin hugged him back fiercely, dropping the blankets.  She sagged with relief.  Thank God.

“Don’t wait up for me,” Steve mumbled into her hair.

“Cool.”

“Bed’s all yours.  Spread out.  Starfish.  Steal all the covers.”

Robin snorted into Steve’s shoulder, squeezing him tighter.  “Okay.  Cool, yay.”

Steve chuckled too, squeezing her to death.  He really did have the best friend in the world.  They swayed a bit like that for a moment, content and comforted in each others’ embrace.  Then finally, Steve pulled back and Robin ruffled his hair.  He rolled his eyes, swatting at her lightly as she grinned wide.  Scooping down to pick up the blankets, he handed them back over to Robin.  She smirked.

“Is she a cover hog, too?” Robin teased.

“Didn’t you say you wouldn’t ask questions?”

Robin saluted, making her way towards the stairs.  “Sir, yes, sir.” 

Steve could finally breathe for the first time all day, aside from whenever you were safely in his arms.  Knowing that he had his best friend on his side without needing to have a full blown conversation about anything yet…that really helped lighten the load a bit.  He exhaled deeply, letting the relief seep into his bones as he made his way to his bedroom door.

***

Once inside, Steve felt his heart swell.  There you were, tucked in bed still, sleeping peacefully.  Steve walked over to crouch over and kiss your forehead, gently stroking your hair.  He noticed you seemed to still be in the same position.  Almost like you hadn’t moved at all.  He looked at the clock.  It’s…been hours.  Several hours.  At least 4.  He looked back down at you, seeing how still you were in the dark. 

His heart stopped.  Were you too still?

Steve placed a trembling hand underneath your nose, too shaky to be able to tell.  But when he felt nothing, he frantically grabbed your wrist — yanking it off your chest to feel for a pulse —

You moved, stirring awake and looking at him groggily.  Steve just about collapsed, clutching your hand and bringing it to his lips as he sunk down onto his knees.

“Jesus Christ,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand and another to your palm.

You groaned lightly, moving to turn towards Steve and yawning.  He melted. 

“How long have I been out…” you asked him sleepily. 

“Hours,” he told you.  “Which is good.  You need sleep.”

You sighed, eyes fluttering tiredly.  “M’hungry.”

That made Steve grin ear to ear.  “I can fix that.  Want me to bring it up here?” 

A grin slowly made its way onto your face too, and you nodded gratefully.  Steve squeezed your hand, leaning forward to peck your forehead and your nose and your lips before promising you he would return. 

When he did, he came back with the bowl of hot soup that your uncle had kept warm for you along with water and some pain medication.  You were sitting up now, leaning against Steve’s chest as he sat with his legs caging you in and leaned up against the headboard.  You had just taken the medication a few minutes earlier, now sipping on the hot soup and a tall glass of water that Steve held onto for you.

The little bedside table lamp cast a soft glow in the Harrington’s upstairs guest bedroom, and the sound of light rain outside of the window filled the room along with the plink of your spoon against the soup bowl.  Steve felt grounded as he kept his arms around your waist, circled around you as he held you close.  His chin sat on top of your head, and the scent of his lavender shampoo in your hair filled his senses with peace. 

“What’s your favorite color?”

Steve’s question surprised you as you slurped another spoonful of soup, but you swallowed and felt the corner of your lip twerk up into a little smile.

“Yellow.”

Steve felt himself smile at that, squeezing you a little tighter.  “Guess this shirt was a good choice, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you bought two.  Rich kid perks ain’t so bad.”

There was lightheartedness to your tone that Steve found himself adoring.  Craving, and yearning to hear more of – should time be on all of your side, in this godforsaken town. 

“I wonder if Vecna’s rockin’ my other one down there.”

“Nah, the dogs are.”

Steve snorted, giving your hips a little squeeze and pressing a kiss to your temple.  You sighed against him, sinking back and placing the bowl of soup onto your lap.

“What’s yours?” you asked him curiously, watching the shadow of the raindrops on the ceiling as they slid down the window. 

“Blue.  Sky blue.” 

You hummed, placing one of your hands that sat on your stomach onto his and interlacing yours fingers.  “Like a pretty, non-upside-down clear blue sky?”

“Schyeah, that.”  Steve rested his chin back on top of your head as he glanced out the window, the black sky and rainfall sending a shiver down his spine.  He wondered if the world would ever feel normal again…

Steve decided to ask you more normal questions, wanting to pretend that none of the dystopian reality just outside his house was real — just for one night.  He asked you what your favorite movie was, shocked to find that you loved romcom’s.  Especially Endless Love, Pretty in Pink and Working Girl.  He wasn’t sure why he thought you’d say dark movies, or maybe sci-fi hits.  Maybe Steve didn’t know what he expected you to say.  But regardless, your answers fascinated him.  He loved learning why you thought Sigourney Weaver’s character was misunderstood in Working Girl, which led to you both discussing women in the work force and how they should receive higher pay – equal to the men.  Steve agreed with you, liking how passionate you were about it yet graceful and humble at the same time.  You were smart, but somehow underestimated.  It was strange.  You were strange.  Turns out, he loved ‘strange.’

And it also turns out, Steve liked not only action flicks — but dramas, too.  Footloose and Baby Boom were on his list of guilty pleasure movies.

“Baby Boom??” you asked incredulously.  But you weren’t mocking him, rather genuinely intrigued and amused.

“Hey, it’s adorable,” Steve defends himself with a fake scoff.  “She adopts a damn baby and raises her as her own.  Be nice.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, tilting your head back to look at him.  “God…no wonder you love those kids so much.  You’re a natural born mother.”

“Okay but seriously, since when did I become mom and not dad?”

“Apparently, I’m dad.”

“Again: since when?” Steve's tone made you chuckle deeply.

You and Steve talked until your tongues were tired, eventually having moved to lean back onto the pillows.  He rested his head into his palm, propped up on an elbow and stroking up your side as you both enjoyed innocent pillow talk.  Softly spoken voices, hushed just enough to hear one another.  Real hearty laughter that you both muffled into your palms, or each others’ necks, so that you wouldn’t wake anyone.  Sweet confessions about food preferences, least favorite holidays, questioning religion while wanting to believe in a god.  How Steve thought that vodka was the kiss of death, while you found cigarettes to be disgusting.  Steve craved strawberry ice cream, while you were a sucker for plain old vanilla.  He loved diners, and you did too.  He swore pancakes over waffles, and you made it very clear that French toast was the clear winner.  It was a give and take conversation, and you both found it resulted in far more agreements than not.  It was the loveliest conversation that either of you’d had in years.  Maybe ever.  Not just with each other…but with anyone at all.

“So…six kids and a Winnebago, huh?”

Steve’s eyes danced in the moonlight, looking at you with pure adoration.  Shyly, he tucked your hair behind your ear, slowly nodding.  “Heard that, huh?”

You gave him a little smirk.  “It was a pretty small Winnebago.”

He shook his head fondly, then — “Yeah.  Turns out being an only child gets to you.”

You nodded sadly.  “Yeah.  It does.”

Steve hated that you knew that same loneliness.  But then again, was that what made you both see each other so clearly?  Is that why you knew his deeply rooted longing and misery better than anyone else?  Is that why maybe, just maybe…in telling Nancy to run off with Jonathan…you were protecting him?  He wondered these things as he looked into your angel eyes, not knowing how in the world he could have not looked at them like this before…especially right when he met you.

You told Steve how you’d always wanted a dog growing up, which led to his immediately confessing he wanted a lab or golden retriever.  You nodded eagerly.  Yes.  Those, or a border collie.  A dog that felt like a true family member.  Even a stray mutt who needed a home.  You both laughed at the funny names you both wanted to name them as kids.  Winston, Jeffery, Petunia, PeeWee, Pumpkin, Count Duku.  When Steve suggested pancakes as a name, you had to literally turn your head into the pillow to keep your laughter from roaring through the room and waking the household.  Even Steve felt like he’d pee himself from laughing so hard, watching you laugh so hard. 

God, you were beautiful.  You were so beautiful.

…when you smiled up at Steve, bashfully, he realized that he’d said it out loud.  “So are you,” you breathed.

Steve shook his head.  “I’m not, though.”

Your brow creased.  “Yes, you are.  You know you are…and if you don’t –”

“I don’t.”

“Well, you are,” you said simply.

Steve pressed his lips together, self-conscious.  How had he felt so damn confident all those years in high school, even middle school, but not now?  You reached up to push back some of his perfect hair, caressing his cheek. 

“I haven’t been,” he confessed, almost in a whisper.  “Not to you.  I’ve been ugly.  Really ugly.”

You looked into his guilty eyes, but Steve couldn’t find any anger or sadness in yours.  Just understanding and forgiveness.

“I was, too,” you admitted.

“No,” Steve shook his head, adamantly.  “Not like me.”

“Steve, I wrecked your life.  Well, your love life.  But still, I wrecked it.”

“No, you only wrecked it when you left it,” Steve confessed, bitter at the memory but not at you.

Never at you.  Never again.

“Telling me I deserve better, and I…told you that you deserved…nothing.”  He visibly winces at his own words.  “God, I’m so sorry —”

“Steve,” you stopped him softly, cupping his cheeks.  “Don’t.  I’ve forgiven it.  Really.  You didn’t know.  You were hurt.”

“Doesn’t make it right,” Steve whispered, looking at you with those beautiful doe eyes that shone in the moonlight.  “I actively made a point to stop hurting people, and I did it again anyway.  Worse.  Way worse than my stupid King Steve days.”

You shrugged, trying to make him smile again.  “King Steve was pretty amateur compared to the hard ass you became.”

Steve bit back a laugh, maybe even some tears.  Still, he let the joke land.  You crane your neck up to nuzzle his nose, making him sigh and return the eskimo kiss.  Then you hissed in pain, letting out a little groan.

“What's wrong?” he asked worriedly, brow pinched.

“Stupid shoulder,” you muttered.  “My ribs, too, damn…”

Steve looked down at your ribcage sadly, splaying his fingers there against your skin underneath his yellow crewneck.  He sighed.  “That’s because of me,” he confessed sadly.  “Pounding on you nonstop today with the compressions.”

“Well in that case, I’ll take it.  Pain’s good.”

You winked at him, and Steve tried to let that comfort him.  It did, for the most part.  Your oxygen intake really made it worth it, in the end.  He leaned down to press his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as you did the same. 

“I don’t know where we’re headed,” Steve whispered against you.  “Hawkins.  The country.  The world.”  He paused, breathing you in.  “Just know I want you there.  All the time.”

You smiled, eyes still closed, heart fluttering.  “Good.  You’re stuck with me, Harrington.  Bothering the ever-living shit outta you.”

“Bother me till I go insane,” Steve breathed, nuzzling his nose against you and grinning like an idiot.  He felt happy.  Absurdly happy.  Who thought that was possible?

“...Steve?”

He opened his eyes slightly, finding yours were already looking into his.  He waited, pulling back nervously.  Which is stupid, considering you’d just told him you felt the same way.  That you wanted to stay by his side, no matter what happens.  So why was he thinking that just changed within a 3-second timespan?  Why was he suddenly worried that you —

“I love you so much.”

19 years flashed before Steve’s eyes at that moment.  His childhood.  His pre-teens, and all the teen years that followed.  He thought back to every single I love you that had been spoken to him.  It hadn’t been many.  At least not many that meant anything to him.  He could count on one hand the amount of I love you’s that meant something to him over the course of 19 years.  But now, he could count on one finger the one that meant the very most to him.

“I love you so much, too,” Steve breathed, eyes glassy and mesmerized as they looked back into yours.  “God, you’ve no idea, I…”

Steve felt overwhelmed.  He scrunched his eyes shut, resting his forehead to yours again and caressing your cheeks.  He pecked your face, every inch of it, slowly.  Little kisses peppering your face.  “I love you so much.”

He could have bawled on the spot if he weren’t so completely entranced, swept up in the tidal wave of joy that splashed across his heart, mind, body and soul.  Steve could bawl about it later.  Right now, he simply leaned into your touch and vowed to never let you go.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

bless Murray and his impeccably uncensored madness. about time he set everyone straight, damn.

as alwaysssss, thank u for reading :) this series is so much fun. please comment, it always makes my day.

TAG LIST [if I forgot u, pls lmk and pls forgive me]

@xprloki @erastourvip @get0ut0fmyr00m @Eddiemuns0nl0ver @marrowfrog00  @poppet05 @wiltedflowersundertowers  Originalthingparadise Pleuviors pumpkinonice Ihaveproblemsihaveproblems Brinleighsstuff Definitelynotherr sucker-4-angst @goosy-goose

[okay-babe]

Hiya Dot! Sorry for the random ask but I am so in love with your writing that it single-handedly got me into this accursed fandom, and now I'm wondering where to start with other authors. Do you happen to have any fic or author recs??

Hi there, anon! I'm so glad you asked because I definitely have some author/fic recs that I'm more than happy to share with you/anyone else who comes across this post!

Before we begin though, shout out to all of the people I mention below! I hope none of you mind being tagged/linked but let me know if you do and I'll remove everything asap :)

1. Starting off strong, we have the amazing @jyoongim! She's been my mutual since I think like day one or two of me creating this account, and I honestly cannot think of anyone more kind or welcoming. Plus, their writing is amazing! Like genuinely so good, I cannot recommend her highly enough. 2. Also, if you're into smut, I am always utterly baffled at the quality of @hazelfoureyes' work. Like, as someone on the ace spectrum, I can say very firmly that sometimes, I don't want to read smut, but even so, I will always read a new post from Hazel when I see it because they're just so well written that I simply cannot wait lol. Plus, their sense of humor is just *chef's kiss*. Love them, truly. (Note: I used they/them here because I don't know Hazel's pronouns, but if anyone does and they aren't gn feel free to let me know and I'll edit this post asap) 3. Additionally, if you like headcannon style writing @a-hazbin-reader is incredible. I've spent actual hours on her page just reading through some of the absolute art she posts there, and it is always a treat. Plus her interactions with her readers are usually either hilarious or incredibly sweet/kind, so it's a good time all around.

As for story/specific fic recommendations, I do have a few of those too!

1. The Deer Dolly series by @ohproserpine (Genuinely incredible writing and a killer story line). 2. You & Me for the worst eternity to come by Notafraidtosimp on AO3 (Definitely not your typical x reader series, but I love everything about it and would never forgive myself if I didn't use this opportunity to share it with everyone). 3. The Partners in Death... and Life series by @safination (This might just be my favorite Alastor series I have ever read, the writing is incredible and I simply cannot recommend it highly enough). 4. Even Death Can Never Part Us by JuliaRobHURTS on AO3 (This is an amazing ongoing long-fic that makes me gasp audibly every time I see that there's been an update. The way the characters are written is utter perfection every time).

I definitely forgot some amazing fics/authors here in my haste to get this posted before class, so everyone should feel more than welcome to comment some other recs if they want to! <3

[zepskies]

Hi Zep!! Question time! Apologies in advance for the multiple questions, apparently my sleep deprived brain was on a roll 😂 Are you working on anything fun or have any ideas you’d be okay sharing, kind of like a work in progress? Any more plans to write for Russell again (or maybe once Tracker is back on)? Have you ever thought about doing a crossover type of fic with multiple characters from different shows interacting (ex. Dean and Soldier Boy)? Do you have any Dean headcanons? Or about any or your favorite characters? 👀 Happy answering! 💕

Hey, Michelle! Ooh don't apologize, these are awesome questions! Though I hope you got some rest last night. 😂

Coming Soon: Dream With Me

I actually am working on a 3-part story for the Midnight Espresso-verse (Dean Winchester x Reader) that will start posting next week! It's called Dream With Me, and will be set in 15x20... If you want to learn more about it, here's the announcement with the summary and sneak preview!

More Russell Shaw? (Tracker)

Actually yes, I have considered writing another one-shot for Russell Shaw that would be like an epilogue for Every Second Counts. Or maybe just another one-shot that lives in that world, if you guys still want to read more about those two after I drop Part 5 later today!

Coming Soon? WIP Ideas:

I also have a few ideas that I've been kicking around in my head, or even partially outlined, but haven't fully written yet. Honestly, I'm not sure which one to tackle first. Maybe you can help me with that. 😘

Here they are:

"Don't You Forget About Me" - (Dean x Reader) Basically a retelling of 4x13 "After School Special," but with a Breakfast Club twist. 😜

Beau Arlen one-shot in the Take Me Home-verse. Premise: "Self-defense lesson" lol.

Or a more angsty hurt/comfort shot in the TMH-verse. Premise: "A snapshot of Beau's lingering PTSD from Randy's death."

Yet another Break Me Down (Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader) one-shot, this one set after Calculated Risks. I've gotten several requests to both continue on what happens after that story, but also to tell the story of the reader and Ben's wedding lol. So the premise would be: "At your son's first birthday, with your family and friends present, you and Ben find yourselves reminiscing about the chaotic day of your wedding."

Do you like the sound of any of these?

Crossover Stories:

You know, I've never been a crossover person for some reason. I think my brain likes the compartments of worlds and characters kept within themselves, unless it makes sense to crossover. For example, I couldn't see SPN world crossing over with The Boys world. The "rules" of each are just so different lol. But I have read one or two crossover stories I enjoyed.

Dean Winchester Headcanons:

Do I have Dean headcanons? Oh, yes. Yes I do. 😂

They all live in my Dean Winchester Imagines/Headcanons masterlist, but they're also structured like vignettes that feature Beau Arlen and Soldier Boy as well.

All of these have been requests (**Notes 18+ only):

Headcanon:** How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to seeing your breast reduction scars. ❤️‍🩹

Headcanon: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would make up for pissing you off. 😤

Headcanon:** How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to you teasing him under the table. 😉

Headcanon: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to you getting “morning” sickness during pregnancy. 🤢

Headcanon: Personality types Castiel, Sam, and Dean would be attracted to. ⭐

If you have a headcanon prompt for me, whether in "quasi-narrative" form like these^ or as just my headcanon thoughts, I'd be happy to brainstorm one up for you. 😉 I haven't done one of those in a while.

Thank you so much for these questions, my friend! I hope these ideas and headcanons spark your interest. 💕

[thevexinator]

My Thoughts On DrDT.

spoilers below.

I've seen very differing opinions on this topic. I will give my opinion on what chapter 2 did good/bad after watching episode 16. As of the time I'm writing this, it's 9:36pm CET.

For Danganronpa: Despair Time as a whole, I absolutely love how it's written. Compared to many other fangans I've seen, DT feels more realistic in a sense. The characters feel very real. Compared to the other fangans I've seen, the characters of DT feel a lot more human. Their talents feel very tame yet are interesting enough to make every character stand out individually. The very flaws of the characters make them feel very human. They aren't downplayed or overexaggerated, falling on the perfect middle ground. Although I feel wrong for saying this, Despair Time honestly feels like the most reality-based fangan out of all of the ones I have personally seen.

First of, Teruko. I have seen so many people wrag on this girl when she has every right to be distrustful of everyone else, especially considering what has happened thus far. I have to give a compliment to her voice actor. In the media I regularly consume, I have rarely heard rage so raw and pure like I have coming from Teruko, especially in chapter 2. Her character means a lot to me, as someone who has vaguely similar views to her.

I have no comments about the prologue. I have very little to say, as it's an introduction to the cast, their personalities on a surface level, and the standard Danganronpa prologue stuff. Chapter 1 is by far among my favorite chapters from any fangan to date.

This chapter really puts into perspective that murder can have any motivation. The motivation here is the most realistic. Min acted out of fear. She was under the impression that Xander was going to kill her. She saw Teruko (presumably) dead on the ground and acted with the intention of defending herself. It was despicable that she tried to pin her crime on Teruko, and I will not defend her on that note, but her actions against Xander could have some justification: she felt that her life was in danger.

Her breakdown and execution shattered my heart. From the very breakdown to her death, she had been humiliated with failure. As someone who relates to her (an unhealthy amount), this execution broke me. We have seen other characters fit the archetype of the golden child, but in my opinion, two have done it best: Min Jeung and Mafuyu Asahina.

Chapter 1 really sold me on the realistic part of everything. Very few have sympathy for Min for what she's done. They call Teruko irrational because they simply can not understand why she's suddenly pissed (and rightfully so) and everyone when it was Xander and Min who broke her trust. They sympathized with Xander when he was the aggressor in the situation.

Chapter 2 so far has been pretty tense. I've seen people (admittedly, myself included) saying that everyone went off the hinge too quickly. Thinking back now, how could they not? Their lives are literally at stake. Of course, they're going to distrust one another. I think Ace's motivation for killing is the most logical one I've ever seen: he wanted to kill before someone else could kill him. Everyone wants to go back to their lives. Some people don't vare how many have to die in order to reach freedom. After all, everyone else is a stranger. Their family is waiting for them on the other side. They have to escape... but so do the other participants.

That's my thoughts for now. I will add more tomorrow when I finish episode 16.

-

As of writing, it is 8:46am. I watched the episode an hour ago, but I needed time to digest everything that happened.

I've seen a lot of people hate on chapter 2. I understand why. I will emphasize that I am not hating on the developer. This chapter took so long, and I am ashamed to say that I find myself in the middle of the opinions for this chapter. I don't outright hate it, but I don't like it either. The chapter feels rushed, like things have happened too quickly. I mainly find issue with the pacing of the chapter.

The writing is still phenomenal. I think it mainly centers on my opinion that Despair Time is realistic. The voice acting is amazing, the characters are beautifully written, and the execution is unexpected but not unwelcome. Most people have expected an Ace execution involving horses, as did I, but I think the one he ended up with was much better. Unlike Min, whose underlying motive was her intelligence, Ace's underlying motive was fear. The fact that he died from cardiac arrest induced by fear is fitting. The entire time he lived, he was afraid.

Teruko... oh my God, Teruko. I stand by what I said that she's the peak of danganronpa main characters. Her emotions are so raw and genuine. Her internal debate is phenomenal. I find it very sad that her behavior parallels chapter 1. There, she was the first to leave... now, she's the last to stay.

Levi is by far my favorite character in terms of writing, second only to Teruko. He's apathetic. He knows and acknowledges that he can't feel for other people. But man... he's tried saving other people twice so far. On one hand, there's hope that he could learn to sympathize with everyone else. On the other hand, his behavior could simply be automated. Like MonoTV, Levi has coded himself to act like he cares for others without feeling anything for them. Like a robot, he does his duty without really thinking about it.

That's it for now. I'll probably post another analysis like this another time.

[technicolorfamiliar]

Contraband (Blackout) Dir. Michael Powell 1940

This one has been on my rewatch list since I first saw it last year. It was one of the few films in the epic Connie watch-a-thon that felt like it had some kind of curative powers, in the surprising way some movies do. I never expected it to lift my spirits and lighten my heart the way it did.

10/10 no notes. I absolutely love everything about this movie. Except the randomly shoehorned "White Negro" scene. It's so out of place in an otherwise pretty progressive film. That cabaret act literally could have been anything, why choose that?? (I couldn't find a lot of info about the choreographer, but it sounds like he was into romanticizing and exoticizing African and Caribbean people in his work… which is not great, but pretty typical of that time I guess. Ugh.)

But otherwise delightful, a romp from start to finish. Apparently someone on IMDB slammed Contraband for being "camp expressionism", but honestly? Hell yeah. I'm 100% here for it. In fact, "camp expressionism" my new favorite genre if it means cute, quirky, risqué, well-directed, well-shot, romantic spy comedy with a tight script and excellent performances.

I've also seen people comparing it to American screwball comedies of the era, but that doesn't seem quite right or even fair. Contraband, thanks to Powell, Pressburger, the editor, and the cast, has a very light touch compared to the comedies coming out of Hollywood in the '30s and '40s. It's not as heavy-handed, it doesn't beat its message to death with over-done gags or affected performances. Michael Powell even said the movie was "all pure corn, but corn served up by professionals." And that's the Powell and Pressburger difference, baby.

The comedy in the script is executed with relative subtlety. The movie isn't telling you HERE’S THE FUNNY BIT, LAUGH NOW the way screwball, slapstick Hollywood would. You almost have to be looking for the humor here to catch it, and it pays off. It's a cheekier type of comedy, not really driven by jokes and punchlines. And as someone who never really liked American comedies of that era, I really appreciate this kind of film. It's silly, even outright stupid in some scenes, but it's not playing down to it's audience. I mean, the whole brawl in the night club is almost like the big fight at the end of Blazing Saddles where more and more people keep joining in, but the action stops for half a second while someone delivers a line. It's stupid. And I love it.

The espionage stuff in is a little convoluted and kind of treated as a throw-away. But really, if you're not paying super close attention to that part of the story, you're not missing much. The spy plot between the British and the Nazis is really just there to give the lead characters something fun to do, and you know what… that's ok with me.

The cinematography also helps elevate Contraband above just being a regular old comedy. Featuring the London blackout is actually really clever. It forces a number of scenes into almost total darkness, which was a risky move and could have been a huge mistake, but it adds yet another interesting layer to the film, visually and in terms of story. There's an unusual POV (possibly handheld?) tracking shot, when Andersen and Mrs. Sorensen are walking up to her house in town, that's just lit by their flashlight. We don't see either of them, except for her hand briefly putting the key in the lock, until after they enter and the camera pans around the hall. And there's a moment a while later when they're in the basement after being tied up where Connie's face is entirely in shadow -- we know he's looking at her, but his expression is completely hidden in darkness. On paper, it sounds like a bad shot, a mistake, but this "expressionistic" lighting and camera work adds a little extra special sauce that I for one greatly appreciate.

The supporting cast is all generally pretty good. Hay Petrie is fun in a double roll. There's the scene in the rowboat where he looks like he's going to get sea sick… despite being the first mate who practically lives on a ship. Little character touches like that throughout the movie make it delightful: The girl in short shorts doing exercises in her room when Connie bursts in on her, the line delivery of the woman who works in the kitchen with Uncle Erik, the guy outside lighting his pipe during the blackout letting those two cops HAVE it. I love a character actor driven movie, all these people in bit parts adding so much color to the story. Brilliant.

Valerie Hobson is so good in this. First of all, she's a boss bitch with an incredible wardrobe. Every look she's serving is iconic. The tweed jacket and headscarf that matches her blouse? The dress with the crazy angular shoulder pads? The big, wide-brimmed hat? Slay. She's authoritative without being shrill, she's got a confident swagger you don't see a lot of actresses getting to showcase at that time. Still, she's not really a femme fatale either. Mrs. Sorensen is independent, intelligent, stunning, and into dangerous spy shit because she enjoys it. She's someone I'd want to hang out with, but would be too scared to talk to because she's so cool. I mean, she almost missed the train at the end because she went back to get Andersen's watch! I have two words for you: Wife Goals.

Sadly, it sounds like Val didn't really get to do a lot of other fun roles outside of the two films she made with Connie. Which is a real shame. Someone on Letterboxd said they're better together than Tracy and Hepburn, and I fully agree. Val and Connie have a natural chemistry that neither feels feel too personal or too studied. Their on screen work together feels easy, without all the baggage and volatility of IRL romance.

The first time I saw Contraband, I think I was simply charmed by Connie as Andersen. Getting to see him as a fun, heroic, romantic lead is incredibly satisfying. But this time around I realized how funny he actually is. He's is so cranky, he starts the movie already at like an 8.5, he's so fucking over it. It's one thing after another -- Mrs. Sorensen won't wear her life jacket, British contraband control wants to hold up them up, someone stole the landing papers, and of course it was Mrs. Sorensen AND Mr. Pigeon. He's so grumpy from the get. (My theory is that he's hangry. He's temperamental and irritable up until he gets a decent meal at The Three Vikings. So relatable.)

It was fun to rewatch this one to catch all the comedic beats Connie is doing with his gestures and facial expressions. They're choreographed, but not affected or over done. His timing and delivery is subtle and finely tuned, which is always funnier than an actor who deliberately plays up the laughs. For example, the long pause after Mrs. Sorensen corrects his pronunciation of the name of the restaurant, he furrows his brow and looks around and finally mutters, "…VI-kings." His comedy is so understated, which keeps the rapid-fire pacing of the bits from being obnoxious.

Andersen is an interesting guy, too. I feel like his macho vibe is just a mask he wears as captain of his ship. He's so used to being That Guy, but, based on Connie's performance, I get the impression that deep down Andersen doesn’t really subscribe to all that traditional masculinity. Later in the film it's easy-ish for him to eventually drop the façade, adjust his expectations, becoming more flexible, malleable in his ideas about sex and gender. This of course is because Conrad Veidt was in reality a proto-feminist wife guy. Andersen isn't played like your standard manly man movie heroes of the time, because that's not who Connie was, that's not an image he wanted to project or support (and I feel one reason why Hollywood couldn't figure out what to do with him in the '40s, but that rant is for another post).

Andersen and Mrs. Sorensen are pretty evenly matched. In fact she has the upper hand and more progressive, dominant role especially once they arrive in London. On his ship, he's the boss, but on shore he's met with one disadvantage after another. Mrs. Sorensen has to be the one to pay for his bus and cab fare, confidently navigating her way through the blackout like a pro. Meanwhile, Andersen is pretty much a bumbling fool, a sidekick to Sorensen's spy adventure. But he's not totally incompetent either (I MEAN IT LOOKS LIKE HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING WITH THOSE ROPES, HE IS A SAILOR AFTER ALL *eyes emoji* *sweating emoji*), he's the one who comes up with the plan to rescue Sorensen from her Nazi captors (although I get the impression she probably would have found her own way out without his help). But what's great is that he doesn't do it alone, he goes back to The Three Vikings to round up a small army of Danish essential workers to back him up. And I love how Connie plays the whole last act of the film like he's actually on an adventure; you can see Connie the actor having the most fun ever getting to be the big movie star hero, tussling with cops and Nazis, solving puzzles with glee, getting the girl -- who is just as much of a badass as he is -- in the end. It's so good. And it's so much fun to watch.

There are so, so many wonderful little touches in this movie, many of which I only caught during this second watch. I have a page of scribbled notes I wrote while I was watching that ends with, "The cutest shit I have ever seen!" From the performances to the writing to the technical details, it's hard not to fall in love with this one. Contraband is easily one of those films I could rewatch over and over again and never get sick of it.

OH I can't believe forgot about The Boys:

The goodest boys.

[imagination-overreaction]

I've been really into Team Fortress Two lately, and seeing as I cannot get the Actual Fic Writing to go, I wanted to do a little character analysis thing as a silly, so here's my favorite tf2 pairings and how i think they'd act:

Soldier x Spy / Freedom Fries

This ship is utter chaos and honestly I love it. There's a lot of light, passive-aggressive bullying (from Spy) and a lot more heavy, just plain aggressive bullying (from Soldier) and they may seem like they want to kill each other at points. However, neither one of the two will hesistate to mow down anyone who threatens the other.

Spy is stuffy with how he shows affection, especially when there's witnesses. Maybe he moves past him a little too closely and brushes his hand on Soldier's arm as he does. Maybe he hides a small smile as he rolls his eyes at what idiotic thing his partner says. Maybe he doesn't immediately call Soldier stupid to his face when he really really wants to, because he's trying so hard. These quiet attempts at passive affection are ruined by Soldier being the antithesis of subtle, in every way imaginable.

Going off of how Soldier is with Zhanna in the comics, I wouldn't say Soldier is the most verbally affectionate person, but his constant antics and comments and death-defying combat skills would certainly help to pry Spy out of his shell just a little bit. I also think that Spy would teach him how to do a few openings on his butterfly knife. Soldier would get the quickdraw down, and possibly the basic opening. Jury's out on anything more complex than that.

Engineer x Medic / Science Party

Evil mad scientist x Morally questionable tech genius. There is no universe where this ship is bad. Well... it can end badly for other people if their forces combine, but that's how it is.

Long, coffee-filled nights in the lab, each one taking turns to listen to their partner's incomprehensible speeches full of science jargon. They nod, half understanding as the other points to different blueprints or medical diagrams, explaining concepts far beyond their own paygrade, and only mostly hold themselves back from interjecting about their own project that would go wonderfully with this one.

The night Engineer finally starts crashing from exhaustion he goes down to where Medic is in the lab and asks when he's coming to bed. Medic, being Medic, says some shit like "Oh no I don't sleep, I removed that part of my hypothalimus years ago."

Engineer says "Alright darlin', see you tomorrow," before kissing him on the head, going to bed, and not worrying about what a hypothalimus is nor how Medic is even still alive at this point.

Does Engineer somehow dodge Medic's request to be some sor tof test subject? Maybe, but there's the even higher possibility that Medic was requested to assist with Engineer's mechanical hand.

Heavy x Medic / Red Oktoberfest

What is there to say that hasn't been said already, by authors far better than i?

Evil mad scientist x All-too-willing test subject that could also crush this scientist like a bug if he chose (but he doesn't. He doesn't, because he loves this doctor). No notes, 10/10, moving on.

Sniper x Spy / Bloody Suit

Also called Spyper, which is the best ship name ever made imo.

Same Spy characterization as before, but instead of the extreme of Soldier it's the general curmudgeony attitude of Sniper. There's also a lot of bullying in this one, probably more than there is with Freedom Fries because Sniper is also not passive aggresive, he just likes to pick on Spy to get a rise out of him, and Spy likes to pick on Sniper to get a rise out of him, and so on and so forth until something is broken and they're either aggresively arguing or aggresively making out. Who's to say.

There's so many possible ships and honestly? I haven't seen a single one I could automatically dismiss (other than Scout/Spy, but Scout & Spy as a familial relationship is good). I wanna do more of these as I find more ships I like, obviously I didn't even mention anything with Demo, Pyro, or Scout, and I barely mentioned Heavy, but what can I say I'm biased <3

Part 2

[8-rae-rae-8]

Oooo Can I ask about the fighting ring au :0

I will always talk about the fighting ring au

Most of it's been brought to be by my friends and some anons 👀 let me explain some of it

I don't have much written in notes, BUT I can tell you about them

I've established their handlers

(Ghost = Roba. Soap = Price. Gaz = Laswell. Graves = Shepherd)

This was honestly a reason to make everything angsty as hell but I guess I'll give you plot (/silly)

Most of this probably won't be completely coherent

Gaz and Soap aren't used nearly to the same extent Ghost and Graves are. Different and more effective methods used rather than simply riling up the fighters or drugging them. (One of Roba's favorite things to get Ghost working).

Gaz and Soap often are together when Laswell and Price meet up. Usually to exchange plans and best ways to make money (Technically they're in on it together). In that time though, Soap and Gaz usually fuck off somewhere. Literally. They come back with swollen lips and heavy breaths. Kate and John don't question it. It's the least they could do. Soap and Gaz are back being vicious in the ring after if they have to. (They'll make out after their fight, if they're both still conscious)

It's a very different story with Ghost and Graves. Their handlers are evil with how they work them to the bone. If Ghost misbehaved, he is stripped of his mask to put all of his brandings and wounds on display. Roba insists it makes him work harder. Graves is riled up, sometimes pumped full of stimulants JUST to keep him going.

Neither of them get a proper place to sleep. Not unless they're well behaved. If Simon did good, he gets a bed with all the amenities of a good hotel room. If he did bad, back to the cell. Graves is usually on a dog bed on the cold floor.

All of them are roughed up, broken and battered. Soap's and Gaz's dreams of getting out are always broken by the fact they know they'll die in that ring. That's part of the reason why Kate and Price let them do whatever they want together. They spend half their time with broken bones and torn skin, they deserved the softness of someone else's arms.

There's more than one time in the ring where it's a matter of life and death for Ghost or Graves. Money's on the line, they know that. But both of their eyes soften as they pick out where to land a hit. Death, or near death. One of them usually passes out before they get to land a hit.

That's one of the few times Ghost gets the bedroom again. When he passes out before anything could happen. Roba needed to keep his asset healthy enough. He's carefully bandaged. But if he doesn't respond well to Roba's treatment after, he'll be back in the cell that night. Ghost learned not to push his buttons, as much as he wanted to. Instead, he plans his escape.

Graves is typically kicked to the cold, bugs around the area he's kept. Shepherd doesn't care, he's a tool and nothing more. A mutt on good days.

[https-lovers]

Reddie Longfic Recs (6 fics)

Majority of the recommendations are >100k words, and are categorized by timeline! I might make a second part to cover more fics.

Chapter I – 12 years old to immediate post-canon transition During the 27 Years – High school to adulthood Chapter II – Adulthood to Reunion, and post-canon

Enjoy!

Chapter I

are you lost enough? by tozier, trashmouthling (Teen and Up)

Premise: Summer of 1991, and there's no Pennywise. Ben is the new kid, and the Losers going to high school. Notes: This fic has a way of bringing the teenage Losers to life. It has its feel-good moments in summer, and although Reddie makes a meaningful part of the fic, each Loser's story is explored extensively. I also adore the way this was written. Each character's story is written like a dedication, where we find fleshed out characters with purpose behind their actions. The fic transitions in seasons, and even when the descriptive notes don't focus on the weather, you can still experience the Losers progressing from summer, to fall, to winter, and so on. This was a very enjoyable, insightful, humorous and witty read. Richie and Eddie's dynamic in this fic is easily one of my favorites; Where we're able to see their own perspectives and vulnerabilities, but we also see other characters' perspective of their growth, how they talk about each other when the other isn't present– the subtleties of growing up and falling in love with their best friend are all written with intention. If fondness was an extreme sport then they WON.

Reap What You Sow by Honbunbun (Teen and Up)

Premise: They've just defeated Pennywise, but now more monsters are drawn to Derry. The turtle gives them superpowers, and the Losers move in to Neibolt together. Notes: This fic has a unique exploration of the Losers' roles within the group. We pick up on Richie and Eddie's relationship after the first time they defeat Pennywise, with full awareness that the other is there for them. When they aren't defeating monsters or learning how to defeat monsters, the fic is undeniably domestic. They get together somewhere between the beginning and the end, and my favorite part was watching how their relationship progresses past "getting together"; It's a development of trust, and easing in to the kind of comfort you have when you realize someone is never going to leave. This fic was hilarious, explored topics of trauma and death with sensitivity, and honestly felt like a shorter read than it was because of how engaging the author's writing and pacing is.

During the 27 Years

I Left My Umbrella at Home by hyppityhoppy (Explicit)

Premise: "Some of the lost years, recovered" as phrased by the author. There's no Pennywise, but the Losers make distance as friendships do after high school. Decisions turn the tide, and in the middle of the semester, after little to no contact, Richie finds himself on Eddie's doorstep. Notes: This fic was like comforting crack to my nursing student brain telling me it's all going to be okay. The fic shows us the reality of friendships, without being pessimistic. The dialogues are witty and tinged with an edge depicting the characters' ages. They're college students dealing with newfound responsibilities, but we see them progress into adults with careers and marriages. This was a slice of life, the author described it as the recovery of their lost years and it's a completely apt description. Richie and Eddie do the college student mating ritual of having a hundred things to worry about, but still finding the time to make excuses for each other, to be around each other. I love how casual touches, and actions of caring are written into the scene; Some touches are a revelation, and some are written like it's an unquestionable necessity. Love the "Richie and Eddie"ness of all of it.

a strange sense of familiarity by Katranga (Explicit)

Premise: Months before Mike calls everyone back to Derry, Richie and (divorced) Eddie meet in a bar, and proceed to have a high commitment long-distance situationship. The fic follows their first meeting until a retelling and post-canon of Chapter II. Notes: The Eddie character study in this fic was amazingly done, and I adore Richie’s characterization. I have no idea how to describe their relationship in the first part of fic. Richie and Eddie connect right off the bat, and they go through the Horror of Being Known in separate ways. A lot of what I love about this fic are at risk of spoilers; But it made me very sentimental over Eddie. It deals closely with what he went through with Sonia and Myra, and how it’s affected his relationships and self-perception— The author brings in many realistic outliers and flaws in both their lives that could affect their relationship BEFORE they remember the clusterfuck that is Pennywise. The build up towards chapter II was extremely satisfying to me. The epilogue is so sweet I got cavities.

Chapter II

Things that Happen after Eddie Lives by IfItHollers (Explicit)

Premise: What is says on the tin. Everything is post-canon of Chapter II. Eddie lives, Richie is put on trial for murder, they become roommates (and they talk to the dead) Notes: This is my Eddie Lives Bible. Richie is hilarious, and this fic explores the agency he seeks for himself extensively. This fic is basically canon to me. The writing feels grounded for a fic that explores ghostly possessions and Richie Tozier on trial for murder. This is a reddie list, but the inclusion of the other Losers is one of the best aspects of the plot. This fic is hilarious and endearing. Richie and Eddie are figuring out their footing. The part where Richie takes Eddie to the Kissing Bridge is like Top 10 Reddie moments and it's thousands of words before they even get together. This fic is like the navigational journey of two adults who are going through the wringer physically, emotionally, and blindly– with familiarity and sheer will as their saving grace.

Keep on Loving You by notso_bad

Premise: A retelling of Chapter II and post-canon, with Eddie and Richie's enlightening inner commentary (to clarify, the fic is still written in third person). "Emotional edging" as the author put it. Notes: It isn't a reddie rec list without a fic giving extensive, quality, real time inner commentary of Eddie and Richie upon reunion. I'm not eloquent enough to describe it, but the fic is written in such a charming way? The writing has a casual voice that switches between character perspectives, and it flows so naturally. The addition of flashbacks tied the fic together. The rapidity of memories tied with the surges of affection, outpours into two characters who don't know what to do with themselves around each other. Despite this, they know that the feeling– that all of it is still familiar, like they're picking up where they left off. Top tier dynamic.

[italictext]

More manga panel coloring!! I love Light and Near so much <3

[thatoneluckybee]

inaccurately assigning the sbg kids marina songs

Yes, I KNOW these are NOT the actual meanings of the music, nor are they even that accurate. But I am being self indulgent here and you can't stop me (:

Ashlyn Banner

Solitaire: A major part of her character is learning how to balance her introverted nature with opening up to others. I like how she isn't shamed for being a private person, though, just encouraged to give others a chance, so I'm giving her the song about that.

Oh No!: Ashlyn is a very confident person as far as we've seen (though there are still some insecurities she has to work through) who isn't going to change her entire self for some random kid. Oh No! fits that kinda in that Ashlyn has flaws, but she is aware of them and she decides what's worth trying to change.

Aiden Clark:

Too Afraid: Aiden. Buddy. CHILD. He is incredibly extroverted, outgoing, social, and tends to take up the spotlight wherever he goes. This isn't a bad thing in its own light, however we've seen that it's largely become a coping mechanism for him. This kid's mind is or at the very least WAS in a very dark place before, and it's being repressed largely (at least, that's what it seems like.)

Primadonna: Like the exact same thing as above. Takes up the spotlight because the minute you stop off the stage, what's left?

Ben Clark:

I Am Not a Robot: Ben is a very stoic-seeming character. We've gotten to know him and he's a gentle, kind-hearted, nervous, and sweet person, albeit one with astoundingly destructive and angry tendencies. A bit part of his character, to me, has been seeing him balance not allowing his rage to run away with him but also not bottling up until it overflows. He is NOT a robot.

Valley of The Dolls: Yeah this song's about a book I've never read so uhhhhh ANYWAYS. Ben's past self was ANGRY. He was hurt and upset. No matter how many people he fought, or how much it hurt, he couldn't feel better, if anything at all. There was an emptiness he couldn't heal. Maybe it's still there. But he's healing.

Logan Fields:

Karma: I think this song could fit his relationship with his bully (Baron or Barron? Can't remember how to spell it), especially in the arcade fight scene (LOVED IT). Baron has been getting away with horrific acts simply because nobody knew, but now that it's come to light, now that Logan is stronger, now that he has people in his corner, karma's coming.

The Family Jewels: I'm concerned about Logan's home life, honestly. We don't know (as far as I'm aware) why he lives with his grandparents. Did something happen to his parents? Is he an orphan? Is he not with them for another reason? Also, what's going on with his grandparents? Is it because they're florists that they have access to painkillers and sedative type drugs, or another reason?

Taylor Hernández:

Orange Trees: I don't even know. I just really like the song. And I really like Taylor. And i think she would vibe to it. Taylor has a really fun personality and I think this fits her.

Can't Pin Me Down: On a more serious note, oftentimes Taylor (by both characters and the fandom, myself included) is unfortunately reduced to "aww happygolucky bestgirl!" Especially after Tyler's tragedy, we've gotten to see a new side of her: fierce loyalty and pure anger that stems from her kindness. She's going off the rails and I LOVE this for her, but I can only hope she doesn't lash at out the wrong people.

Tyler Hernández:

Are You Satisfied?: Giving him one of my ALL TIME favorite songs! Since the death of their father, Tyler has been caring for both his mother and sister and keeping the household afloat effectively. Through this, my dude doesn't seem to know what it means to take a break. He needs one.

Highly Emotional People: Furthermore on that note, I can see Taylor saying these lyrics to her twin brother. Tyler has gotten to used to being the caregiver at such a young age he doesn't seem sure how to be cared FOR. My dude is repressing and lashing out and everything in a very unhealthy way. If anything good comes out of the tree kebab, it's forcing him to accept outside help and let others take on some burdens. We're highly emotional people, and everyone deserves to show that.

Anyways I didn't expect this to take so long to type :^

[iam93percentstardust]

Hello friend!! Let’s make the stony fandom more vibrant! Tell me:

Favorite stony meta

Stony fic idea that you want to write but haven’t gotten to yet

Three most recent stony fics you read and why you liked them

🥰🥰🥰🥰

Henlo fren! Thanks for the ask!

Favorite stony meta

Oh god, I could talk about the dynamics between Tony, Steve, and Howard all day long. There's so much complication going on there. And I think it's a really interesting choice on the MCU's part not to write Howard and Steve as best friends. I went back and rewatched CATFA the other day, and it really struck me that Steve views Howard with a measure of awe (because of the things he creates and the fact that he seems to actually understand women where Steve doesn't) and a measure of wariness (for the same reasons), but they're not really friends. We don't see Howard spending time with the Howlies outside of strategy meetings, he's not in either of the bar scenes, and Steve never smiles around him. And on the flip side, up until Steve's death, Howard is fairly condescending towards Steve (at least towards his intelligence, given his remarks about Steve not understanding the Hydra tech). Honestly, I think that a lot of Howard's adoration for Steve came about only after Steve's death. It's easier to look up to a martyr, after all, than a living, breathing superhuman. And it would have been easy for Howard to convincingly claim that he'd admired Steve all along since he, like Tony, uses masks as easily as breathing

Stony fic idea I want to write

Ooh I've had this idea for an interactive reality show AU for literal years at this point, but I've been too intimidated to write it. The idea would be, as I said, a reality show AU with Steve and Tony as the judges, who are already in a relationship and have to deal with outside forces trying to break them up during the course of the season. The interactive part comes in with the fact that the actual reality show would be based on readers' votes. The Stevetony storyline would be pre-planned and completely independent of the reality show storyline. The reality show storyline would be written in real time, though, or as near to it as possible, and characters would be voted off as the readers vote.

As I said, I'm horribly intimidated by it. The interactive aspect makes me very, very nervous. I'm afraid to start writing it and then find out that no one is as interested in the concept as I am, so no one votes. I've had a couple times in the last few years where people claimed to be really excited to read something that I worked really hard on only to get 2-3 regular readers, and I'm just afraid for that to happen here. If it were any other fic, I'd be fine with it, but the fact that it's a fic that would rely on the readership in a time when people are more and more resentful of writers asking for interaction... Well, let's just say this fic is one that'll probably stay in the ideas folder.

Three most recent stony fics

Tomorrow We'll Be Born Again by KandiSheek: I love angsty fics where they think it's time to walk away because obviously the other one doesn't love them and it's over and their heart is breaking only to find out that no, the love is still there, they just don't know how to show it <3

In Written by naivelittleprincess: I like fics that do something clever with the formatting, and a love story written in post-it notes is right up my alley <3 It's funny and clever and super sweet. Defs recommend it for anyone who likes unusual styles

speak easy, swing hard by laiqualaurelote: Prohibition AUs, my beloved. I love 1920s fics, especially because I'll never write one of my own, and I love pre-serum Steve. I don't want to spoil the twist, but you should definitely read this one <3

[aromanticannibal]

Ok, Feldup recs post!

Mostly my opinion (which is wildly positive) on his most recent album, Stared at from a Distance.

Warnings, this entire album talks about Feldup's SA from a woman twice his age. It's hard to listen to, it was hard to listen to for me, who suffered through no such experiences and isn't triggered, squicked or made uncomfortable by many things.

First, I'd advise that you listen to the entire album all at once (which breaks throughout if needed), in order and with lyrics (there are subtitles in the linked video). I promise it's worth it. Now for my favorite songs :

Stared at from a Distance (2nd track, 12:06), is obviously incredible and one of my faves. It's pretty long and is way more explicit on what it's talking about than Waters (4:55), the first track (which I really liked too, the music video for it is excellently made as well). I really love the way the instrumental and beat switches throughout to accompany the story, and the end of the song made me think I was going to cry (I just needed to sneeze but tbh it's still crying material). Really good, if you listen to only one song in the album I think it should be this one. (Side note, I'm also wondering if I didn't hear part of that song when I was at Feldup's concert - it was before the album was out, but you know. I don't think I heard all of it, but maybe I just forgot).

Naked and Afraid (3rd track, 3:11) is very good and picks up very well after the second track. It makes you understand that this album really is a story you're following, and you're going to get every detail of it. The following track, Dizzy (4:11) is transitioned to so well I thought it was the same song (it's also excellent), and Fear of Abandonment (4:07) right after is like. Painful. /pos

Shove it (6th track, 03:39) is honestly terrifying to listen to, and it works very well for its subject. I don't even have much to talk about for this one, it's just really good. The 7th track, Moment of Sobriety (5:30) managed to be even scarier, because of how real it gets then (if that makes sense. The whole album is painfully real, and it reminds you of this regularly).

Crying as a Weapon (8th track, 5:20) is where I had to take a break. I think it might be one of the most relatable songs for many people who were abused, not just sexually.

Death of an Illusion (9th track, 10:23) is the other very long track of this album and it is, unsurprisingly, incredible, and one of my absolute favorites. It's also one I could relate to a lot, and its progression is very satisfying. It Never Leaves (9:09) is similar to Death of an Illusion, its continuity, and its ending made me incredibly happy.

The last one, To Love Again (4:49), is the song I enjoyed the less, musically speaking, but one of my favorites nevertheless, and a perfect ending for the album in my opinion. It also has a shift in the... well, not the narration, but I guess the message, somewhat (trying not to spoil because it's so incredible to realize to me), which entirely convinced me this is actually my favorite album of all time construction-wise.

In conclusion, Oh My Fucking God this is so incredible.

Feldup is a great person who writes incredible texts and makes excellent music. The constructions of his songs and the way his story is told throughout eleven tracks is beautiful and heartbreaking and hopeful, and it genuinely is currently changing my brain chemistry /hj. It is so good. It's on Spotify and Bandcamp for sure, and I think it's on most other streaming services, and you still have the Youtube video I linked at the top. Please give it a try.

I'll quickly give my favorite songs from his other album, A Thousand Doors, Just One Key, but they're all really good too : Falling Apart (2nd track, 4:08) which is his most known song as far as I'm aware and is a fucking banger from the first notes, Mental Health (6th, 4:25), Attention (3rd, 3:54), and Stockholm (10th, 11:21), which holds one of my favorite lyrics ever (There is no cure/I am the disease).

Anyways, have a good day or night, stream Feldup's music.

[bydragonfireandblood]

Honestly, best part about watching HotD was that it gave me a free blocklist to weed out any jonsas (because ridiculous number of the green stans seem to be jonsas!) I might've missed the first time around with GoT. But what's absolutely baffling is how many claim to be feminists. I'll go to their blog to block them and their bio will be something like "She/her, feminist" and it's just like... what kind of mental acrobatics do you have to be doing to believe that??

Let's see, shall we? Just off the top of my head, jonsas (and fairly often Sansa's more... "special" stans) like to

Put down Dany and Arya for not being "feminine enough" (i.e. their ideal femininity, which ig means women can't be anything else). As if expecting women to conform to a standard of what's "feminine enough" isn't part of the problem :/

Constantly claim Sansa can't be held accountable for her mistakes because she's a child, but then regularly claim another child is unforgivable for her mistakes and should die for it

Imply (and sometimes even say) that Dany shouldn't be breaking the wheel. You mean the patriarchy? You, an alleged feminist, don't think the patriarchal system ASoIaF has is awful and dumb??

Suggest that Jon is actually going to politically manipulate Dany by pretending to love her but really he's doing it for Sansa. That is... disgusting on more levels than I could count, but I'll simplify it to "wanting to see an ending where a woman is manipulated sexually and then murdered by her male lover when she's no longer useful is gross and you should feel gross" because apparently they can't read at more than a 2nd grade level

Ignore the fact that this already-misogynistic plotline would be, in their dreams, so the man can get together with their favorite woman instead. Because putting down a woman like a dog in favor of another woman isn't bad, apparently

Absolutely hate the fact that Dany is a subversion of the prophecied hero trope because she's the "Princess who was promised". This would be a wonderful twist on the trope instead of the sexist "but actually it was the man all along!" one, which has been done to death already

Crack jokes about Dany being infertile and how that would "make Sansa a better wife for Jon, bc she can give him an heir". Ah yes, implying it's a woman's duty and purpose to have kids and that anyone who can't is broken. Wonderful example of feminist rhetoric, you guys

And this very much extends to the green stans too! Little wonder so many stansas seem to love Alicent, since they're both "women who have to suffer through the patriarchy". Let's see what our precious, definitely-feminist Alicent has done, shall we?

The big one: actively trying to prevent a woman from rising to the Throne so she can be replaced by her son, a man

The son, I should add, being utterly unfit to rule and she knows it (unless she's absolutely fucking stupid, there's no way she could not know Aegon would be a bad king). I mean, he assaulted serving staff, disappears to the slums to watch his bastards fight to the death, and when he was supposed to be king he fled. Rulership material indeed :/ But Alicent seems to think a penis makes him suited to rule despite all that

Straight-up admits that Viserys was less suited to rule than Rhaenys on account of temperament... but then in the next breath ask Rhaenys to help her uphold the male succession that fucked her over, in favor of a man even less suitable for kingship than Viserys was

And on the note of the serving girl... silencing rape victims is not feminist. At all. I recognize HotD's societal standards are different, but idk, they sure like to apply modern standards like war crimes to Dany and Rhaenyra so I think I'll do the same here

Resents Rhaenyra for finding happiness in her own relationships. Look, what happened to her was awful and I felt bad for her, but once she turned around and started putting other women down for not suffering like she did, instead of trying to see the system that caused her suffering ended... that's where she went wrong. (Also I feel like reminding everyone Laenor was gay. Did greens want Nyra to maritally rape her husband?? How dare a woman have an enjoyable sex life)

Book Alicent legitimately hoped that "mayhaps the whore will die in childbirth" because that's absolutely a feminist girlboss thing to say

Look, I have no problem with people liking or even defending either character for some of their actions. Even I'd admit the Greens are fun to watch despite being in the wrong, and that Sansa's bullying means her arc has potential for character growth towards realizing her ideal femininity is wrong. But when their stans start attacking other women for not accepting and conforming to the system? That's why I usually see urls/lots of posts about these characters as a red flag

If you're one of these people and I somehow haven't already blocked you? Please go outside and work on the internalized misogyny a bit before you claim to be feminist

[grimalkinmessor]

Hello! I am very intrigued by your headcanons towards Death Note characters since I read your post about your Light's ones. So I wanted to ask what are your headcanons about L and Ryuk??

Ooo I haven't thought much about those two in terms of headcanons.

I'll start with Ryuk because I have a few more on hand for him, just because they tie into my Shinigami lore hcs :3

☠️ -Ryuk used to be human once! All Shinigami save for Nu and the King used to be human. Now my personal headcanon for that is that you have to kill a certain amount of people before you can become a Shinigami, and the Shinigami realm is rotten and dying because they just don't make killers like they used to :/ Ryuk is the youngest of them, and he made the cut because he was an arsonist! :D As a human Ryuk was a punk, a highly insane anarchist with a taste for gunpowder and blood. He blew up so many buildings with people inside that he made the cut for Shinigami-dom.

☠️ -An add-on to the above and a slight spoiler for Cosmic Entities, Ryuk the Human was killer on the guitar. His riffs were fucking amazing, and he rocked with a lot of underground artists before he overdosed and died. Of course when he became a Shinigami he forgot about all of that, but if he ever, say, regained a human body, he might remember a bit of it :3

☠️ -Ryuk's highly addictive personality is half a leave over from his human life, and half because of how young of a Shinigami he is. The older a Shinigami is the more apathetic they get—which is why I headcanon Kinddara as fairly young too, because she has a LOT of bloodlust rattling around in her. A lot. Gelus and Rem aren't young, persay, but they're definitely not as old as they others given that they both fell for Misa. Whiiich brings me to my next headcanon!

☠️ - Ryuk is asexual! :D And aromantic. He was ace when he was human too, but they didn't really have a name for it back when he was alive so he never labelled it. And as a Shinigami, he just assumed that other Shinigami ALSO didn't feel those urges because, you know, they're Shinigami. Ryuk still gets attached to people even as a Shinigami (I headcanon his relationship with Light as queerplatonic in every universe and you will pry that from my cold dead hands) and he's not really sex-repulsed, he would just honestly rather have an apple.

☠️ -Case in point: Ryuk gets depressed after Light dies. He gets the reputation as a storyteller because...well, that's kind of all he does after that whole Kira mess ends. (That Shinigami from the relight is NOT Light I will fight you on that—) He reminisces about it like a war veteran and tells anyone that asks anything they want to know about the various Kiras and Light. Especially Light. He's very proud of Light. Ryuk doesn't seem to even be interested in the human world afterward, nor in playing or gambling with his fellow Shinigami. He seems more resigned to his boredom than before. Almost like he's grieving someone. Huh...

🍰 -L'S TURN: I have multiple contradictory headcanons for how L ended up with Watari, but my most realistic one is that his mother died directly after giving birth, but she was a bit of Jane Doe. The only thing she had with her was a messenger bag with a worn French book and a map of the area in it. Since she died before she could name her child, the hospital staff looked through her stuff and found the initials L.L. written on the inside of the book, so one of the nurses just wrote that down on the birth certificate, along with the first word she found on one of the pages. It was in the woman's bag, so it was obviously important to her, right? Maybe she'd like her child named after her favorite novel. Buuut half of the first name smudged and left the kid with a singular letter L instead of actual initials. Oops. The matrons at the orphanage don't have time to worry about shit like that so the singular letter stuck. Congrats kid, that L no longer stands for anything, you're a part of the alphabet now 🫡

🍰 -L definitely pulled a Tom Riddle in his first orphanage and stole literally everything he could get his hands on. If a kid argued with him or tried to tell on him he would beat them up. He was that quiet kid in the corner of the room, eating everyone's candy from that generous man that passed by the day before because they didn't defend it or hide it well enough. And L was definitely a biter as a kid, so get to close to his little thief corner and you'll walk away with teeth marks in your fucking arm or leg or face. Around the matrons, however, L was—well, not normal, but he definitely didn't bully the other kids around them because they'd grab him and drag him around and crack his hands with a ruler, and even at a young age he knew that he couldn't win in a fight with someone that much bigger than him.

🍰 -L also knows plenty of foraging hacks from his time as an orphan. His original orphanage was on the outskirts of the city, so he got very good at learning which plants were edible by watching the forest animals and identifying them on his own. So when winter came along and food got scarce, L had little pouches and cups of dried flowers and berries and roots hidden in his room to eat. Like hell this little glutton is going to stick to his assigned rations—are you nuts? It's survival of the fittest out there 😤

🍰 -As a consequence of the above, L grew to really like rabbits. He watched them a lot to learn which plants he could eat and eventually got really hyperfixated on the idea of the idea of trying to catch one. He'd go out and hide and wait for the rabbits to show up, and then chase them. He had to get more creative when they proved to be faster than him, and eventually he set up a trap and caught one. L managed to keep it as a pet for about a week before the caretakers found out and made him get rid of it. Which was honestly just as well; L was nearing his limit with his rabbit fixation and eventually he would've started to neglect it.

🍰 -The book L's mother brought into the hospital was one of his only non-stolen possessions growing up, but because it was written in French, L had to learn French in order to read it. And he did. By the time L was seven years old he was pretty much bilingual—one of the reasons he caught Quillish's attention as a little prodigy. L learns languages quickly, but only when he's interested, so he might learn five languages in rapid succession or he might procrastinate learning another language for two years. By the time he hits sixteen he's fluent in nine different languages. He stalls at around thirteen when he's twenty and doesn't really see the need to pick up anymore.

🍰 -At one point, Quillish attempted to force L into healthier eating habits by only giving him healthy foods, but this backfired spectacularly because L threw a fit and refused to eat any of it. Quillish didn't want to back down though, so he told L that if he didn't want to eat what was in front of him then he could go hungry. And because is L is a petty bastard and runs on quick fuel sugar, it didn't take him long to pass the fuck out after a day of refusing to eat the bullshit Quillish locked him in with. Quillish tries this three more times before giving up and just sneaking vegetables into his sweets. When L is older, they have a long conversation (argument) about it and eventually L begrudgingly agrees to replace at least a quarter of his sweets with fruit—sweet enough for him to tolerate but healthy enough to appease Quillish. Hence the banana scene that everyone loves :)

[voidscarredadjudicator]

Anyways it's 3 am and I have work tomorrow. Clearly this is the perfect time to ramble about one of my favorite bands.

You've heard of fanfiction. You've heard of podfics. But have you ever heard of just straight up making two whole ass fucking albums of genuinely good rock opera ballads that stand on their own two feet as quality music that's all just very thinly veiled Mega Man grimdark AU fanfiction?

You have now.

These guys are The Protomen. You might've heard of them. You might've not. The point though is that they're rad as hell, and a genuine inspiration. I'm not sure about anyone's individual backstories, but they've been together as a group since at least 2005, and from then 'til this very day they've been working on this Mega Man AU of theirs in the form of song, with two major acts/albums out and a third one that's been in the works for years (with a single having dropped sometime last year).

"Gee Void," I hear you think, "This sounds incredibly cheesy! Also what's the status of Act II of Humanity's Endling?"

Yeah, and? Still kicks ass. Also see previous ask response.

Anyways, these guys go above and beyond a simple fan project. They've done tours, collabs, and even made a music video that's more akin to a short film - which is where my profile picture comes from, actually.

The best part about all of this though is that you honestly don't even need to be a fan of Mega Man whatsoever to be a fan of The Protomen, since so much has been changed around that it's entirely it's own continuity. I can personally attest to this, as I've been listening to these guys since at least 2015 and I've only just played my first Mega Man game earlier this year. The best way I could describe it is if somebody made a film adaptation of the Mega Man games in the 80's that doesn't quite get the story 1:1, except they actually tried to make the new story good in it's own right.

Act I, just called 'The Protomen', has a lot more of a grungy garage band sound, while Act II: The Father Of Death does this really cool thing where the first half of the album is western and it slowly transitions to 80's rock as the album goes on to signify the passing of time & advancement of technology in the story. Act II is a prequel, so you can listen to either album first.

You can probably guess where I got the inspiration to name the parts of Humanity's Endling 'acts' from. Well, this and a different band that also does the same thing with their music, but that's a different ramble post for another day.

Regardless, I won't spoil the story, so if you're gonna listen, I'd also recommend having the lyrics pulled up on the side as there's some extra lyric notes to read for some songs that give further story/context to the songs that are playing beyond just what the words are saying.

This isn't music I'd recommend just playing in the background while you're doing something else - set aside some time, about an hour and a half, to just listen and take it in. Treat it like you would a fanfiction. Of course, music tastes are subjective, so if it's not your thing, I understand.

But if you're still not convinced, here's a link to what is unequivocally their best song:

It's just over four minutes; give it a listen if you've got the time.

That's it from me. I should get to bed. This post took an hour to make. My sleep schedule is still in shambles.

Good thing I'm a closer! 🙃