#They’re not underdressed it’s just a short walk I promise | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

96dys · 3 years ago

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hydrangea ; johnny seo

money makes the world turn. there was so much of it, and yet so few people ever saw it. maybe if it weren’t for the money, johnny might have acted differently. maybe his family’s badgering wouldn’t have weighed on him as much as it did. maybe he wouldn’t have taken you, because finding a wife this way wouldn’t have mattered. he didn’t like the circumstance, but he couldn’t keep himself from liking you—the dirt-poor girl who worried more about helping others than feeding herself.

ceo au

taglist: @tyongpoetry @blossomfear @suhreal @love-and-other-possibilities @suhpersonic

masterlist

03 | wedding bells

growing up, you never pictured yourself getting married. each day was spent fighting tooth and nail just to stay alive, so romance was an afterthought you lacked the time to entertain. there were a couple of romance novels you'd read early in you adulthood, but they had very little appeal. to you, all of that seemed so unrealistic. marriage was but a means to an end. for people like johnny, it was nothing more than a way to continue the bloodline, whereas people like your parents tended to wed because survival was so much easier with more than one person contributing to the bills. your parents loved each other, and yet the reason they were brought together in the first place had nothing to do with that.

standing in front of the mirror now, you had a hard time believing that the girl looking you in the eyes was really a reflection of yourself. it felt like someone else was looking back at you, for this was nothing you were used to. white satin fabric clung to your torso and cascaded to the floor like a small waterfall, the cloth pooling around your feet. the sleeves hugged your arms nicely without being too constricting, though the lace detailing around your wrists was the slightest bit uncomfortable. they were not able to be seen in the mirror, but jisung had insisted you wear a pair of white high heels as opposed to the flats you typically wore around the common area everyday. you knew in your mind that you and this girl were one in the same, but you couldn't picture yourself wearing such a thing without strict instructions to do so.

jisung wasn't terribly strict, but as he was painting your eyelids a soft shade of brown he continued to talk about how important it was that you looked nice.

"...and i know you're probably not thrilled about being part of a wedding under these conditions--i wouldn't be either--but i promise you'll feel so much better once i get you all ready. these people love to outshine one another; the last thing you want is to show up underdressed to your own wedding. don't worry though, i spent a lot of time putting together a dress i think you would like... i mean, compared to the more extravagant designs in my sketchbook, i think you'll be really thankful i went with the one with the least amount of bells and whistles," he babbled away, pausing for no longer than to take a short breath before opening his mouth once more. "besides, you look so pretty! i'm sure the photos are going to turn out so wonderfully."

scrutinizing your reflection now, you felt that he was right. at the very least, you were thanking each and every one of your lucky stars that he chose a very simple dress. you thought you might have to jump out of the window if you'd been forced to squeeze into anything tighter than this. in truth, you did look very nice, you just didn't look like yourself. the signature braid you always had hanging down your back had been replaced with a very complicated hairstyle, one that required a dozen little braids and an endless amount of hairpins in order to keep them in place. what wasn't braided was curled into little ringlets which were left to hang free.

"they're ready for you!" you heard from just outside the doorway.

you wanted to scream, but instead of causing a scene, you bit down on your pink painted lips and began walking out into the hallway to meet the young boy. he smiled so brightly the moment you made eye contact with him, but you weren't able to reciprocate such a gesture. you has one smile saved up for tonight, which you would plaster across your face just long enough for the photographer to get a picture of the newlywed couple standing side by side for the first time. you weren't thrilled to do even that, so you considered it enough charity work to satiate you for the next few weeks at the very least. you may not be overly fond of johnny, but you knew it would mean a lot to him to have one decent picture, which is exactly what you would give him--no more, no less.

as much as you wracked your brain trying to remember how you'd made it to the garden and how much time had passed since you set out to find it, you kept coming up empty handed. even now, it was like your brain was enveloped in a thick fog. maybe it was because there wasn't a single fiber of your being that wanted to be standing at the end of the aisle. maybe it was because it was easier to shut your mind off than have to deal with the reality of the situation, for you would be permanently tied to johnny seo in less than half an hour.

the music floating in the air was soft and angelic, like nothing you'd ever heard before. you noticed it began the moment the toes of your shoes touched the path that had been laid out in front of you. you turned around, but jisung was nowhere in sight. you knew it was useless to search for him in the sea of people standing on either side of you, as there was no way in hell the help would be allowed to sit with the guests. feeling defeated, you faced forward once more.

you slowly took a step forward, then another. you noticed the grass had been scattered with white flower petals. it almost felt wrong to be trampling something so beautiful like this, but still you continued on. your eyes remained focused on the ground. you wanted not to see the expressions of those around you; you weren't sure what to expect, but you had a feeling it couldn't possibly be good. you felt so small under their gaze, as if the crowd was going to swallow you up any second now.

it wasn't until your eyes fell upon a pair of perfectly polished black dress shoes that you chose to look up. of course, you knew who it was: johnny, your husband-to-be smiling down at you.

though you had been fully aware from the very beginning that this wedding was primarily to satiate johnny's societal needs, it wasn't until the reception that you realized just how unwelcome you truly were. it was your wedding, and yet you felt like the last person anyone wanted to see in attendance. you went to great lengths to distance yourself from everyone you were unfamiliar with, which left you all alone, standing awkwardly off to the side of the dance floor. even then, it seemed like the sharks could smell your fear as if it were a drop of blood in the ocean.

looking around the room, you noticed that many men happened to be occupied by one of two things; either they were waiting in the long line of people eager to speak to your husband tonight or they were chatting up whichever woman had caught their eye. the girls, however, hardly seemed interested in such things. while there were one or two who were entertaining men you presumed they had come with, it felt like they had swarmed together to scrutinize the bride they resented so much.

realistically, you knew it was simply your anxiety making it feel as though every pair of eyes in the room was glued to your figure. there was a tiny part of your being that reminded you to be aware of this, to give this new life a chance, but you were unable to. you couldn't shake the feeling of humiliation that came with each stare. you weren't like these people and it wasn't something that you would ever be able to forget. while marriage symbolizes the unity of two people, they would never see you as one with johnny--one of them.

shifting your weight from one foot to another, you nervously knocked a perfectly painted nail against the side of the wine glass resting atop your palm. from the corner of your eye, you could see three girls standing to your right. it was hard to focus on anyone in such a large sea of people, yet you couldn't help but feel drawn to the young woman closest to you. she reminded you of your mother in the smallest of ways, but it was enough to cause a heavy wave of homesickness to crash into you. her dark hair was so much healthier than your mother's had ever been though, having grown strong enough to reach the middle of her back. it was left to fall down her back in loose waves with just the top half having been pulled away from her face in a. the style was simple, but the small strands of hair framing her face made it so much more elegant, as did the decorative comb keeping her hair in place. it was encrusted in emeralds, which you imagined were selected in order to match her velvet green gown. your mother's favorite color had always been green.

tuning in to their conversation wasn't a very easy task, but you tried your hardest to block out the beautiful music blaring in your ears. once you were finally able to, your stomach sank. you wanted nothing more than to unlive the past few seconds, to unhear what you'd just heard. you knew it was silly to regard this stranger in the same way you did your mother, but your brain was already working on putting two and two together. the little girl you'd buried somewhere deep inside wanted nothing more than to be welcomed into their group for no reason other than that this woman felt so familiar, so warm. you wanted nothing more than to live in the dream where this is true, but you knew it wasn't.

oh how you wished it were, for those brief few moments of ignorance brought you a kind of comfort that wasn't something that could be replicated. the last thing you wanted was to check back in to reality, but the feeling of your stomach falling to your toes was impossible to ignore.

"...it's really making me question his sanity. she doesn't have a single thing to offer... i mean, do you really think she'll be able to give him a son? look at her! one thrust and she'll snap in half."

you visibly cringed at the observation. it was hard to tell which of the trio had made it, but it didn't matter, for they all broke out into a fit of giggles. for once in your life, the opinion of another caused tears to well up in your eyes.

growing up, it never really felt like what anyone had to say could truly be justified. everyone was struggling just to keep their head above water and you too understood what it was like to push another person below the muddy brown waves in order fill your aching lungs with just one more breath of stale air. when life sucked so much, it was easy to aim your anger at others; it was normal. here, you were unable to understand where the hate stemmed from.

these girls had everything they could ever dream of, so why were they so focused on tearing you down? there was a very rational part of your brain that sensed jealousy, that could tell it was because your husband sat at the top of the food chain while their respective men likely did not. however, this revelation did not ease your mind. in that moment, it seemed like you would forever feel disgusting with no real reason as to why.

finally you began to digest what was said. you had never put much thought into having sex with johnny. you were still unsure whether or not you wanted kids, let alone with someone you were only with by force. if he were to stay true to his word about respecting your wants, you may never have to think about it again, though you knew his family wouldn't rest until there was an heir to the seo fortune. it wouldn't come as a great surprise to hear that there was even some miracle science to cure infertility that only the most elite had access to. you had the sneaking suspicion that at some point there would be no excuse not to have a child, even if your husband were to be accepting of your decision.

huffing quietly to yourself, you blinked back those pesky tears and began searching for your husband. while you were unable to see him yourself, the thick crowd of men a good ways away seemed to be a sure sign. you'd be shocked if you fought your way through the congestion just to find that he wasn't stood at the heart of it all.

surprisingly enough, you had to do very little shoving or pushing in order to find yourself face to face with the man you'd set out to find. while a few odd looks were thrown your way, there seemed to be an understanding amongst the men that you were to remain untouched. you doubted that this was because they considered you to be fragile or precious, but because one wrong move and their chances at earning johnny's approval would be pulled right out from under them.

slowly, you set the wine glass down on the table directly to your left, careful not to let any of the red liquid spill onto the table cloth. you wanted nothing more than to sit at your assigned seat at the head of the table, but you knew you wouldn't be able to take all of the attention for much longer regardless of where you chose to linger. instead, you gently grabbed his hand in both of yours.

"can we dance?" you asked.

the question was very simple, though there was a certain desperation laced within your words. you needed to get him alone, for he was the only person with any real power to help you. if he isn't able to sneak you upstairs to wait out the night, perhaps he could find an excuse to get jisung working the floor. though it had become so easy to drown out the young boy's senseless babbling, you needed nothing more than a familiar face to keep you company. you had never done well with crowds, but this one in particular took the air from your lungs entirely.

he flashed a bright smile, though you were unable to tell if it was for you or his peers.

"of course," he murmured.

the moment the words escaped his lips, the crowd fizzled out. you couldn't help but let out a dry chuckle at how artificial all of this was, especially the way these people interacted with one another. so many of them seemed annoyed that they would have to now wait even longer to lick his boots, as though they were entitled to his time. you weren't foolish though--you knew it wasn't about time nor companionship. to these people, everything is a transaction or it's a waste of energy.

with johnny in tow, it wasn't hard to find a spot on the dancefloor. he chose a spot in the very middle of the room, where everyone would be able to see the happy couple embrace once more. unlike your first dance though, there were far less camera flashes clouding your vision as you wrapped your arms around his neck. for but a mere moment, you looked into those dark chocolate eyes, allowing yourself to see the distress written across your face.

and just like that you rested your chin upon his shoulder, allowing him to pull you close.

"hey, what's wrong?" johnny murmured into your ear. two large hands rested atop your hips as the both of you began to slowly sway side to side, guiding your movements to the rhythm of the whatever song the band was playing.

contrary to whatever belief you may have, johnny wasn't stupid. though he didn't know you as well as he would like to, he knew this wasn't like you. he'd always thought it was cute how flustered you always became each time the physical space between you began to diminish, but right now you were stiff as a board. you clearly weren't drunk, and he had a hard time believing you went out of your way to show him affection like this for no reason.

"i feel like i've been sent to the worst circle of hell," you confessed. being this open with him felt so odd, but you knew he wouldn't be able to do anything for you without a good enough reason to. you let out a deep breath before continuing, "i'm not welcome here, and don't try to lie and say that i am. it's supposed to be my celebration too, but all i've wanted to do tonight is scratch my eyes out. if it's not the way that i look, it's where i come from. it's never going to stop. i'll never be able to breathe around these people. i think i might even reach for a knife if i have to hear one more comment about my body."

though you were unable to see it, a frown fell upon his face. while you tried your hardest to sound cold and unfazed, he was easily able to make out the wavering of your voice. your words were harsh, but your voice had begun to crack after the first sentence. he had yet to hear a single sniffle, though he knew you were likely fighting back tears—if not from sadness then stress.

"i wish i could tell you that behavior is out of character for my family," he said empathetically.

in all honesty, he understood where you were coming from. he couldn't count on both hands the number of times the people he was forced to be around berated had him for one thing or another. to say he had completely gotten used to it would be a bit of a lie, though if anyone asked, none of their words affected him. it wasn't truly pain that he felt, but merely annoyance. he had simply grown tired of being criticized down to the way he chose to breathe. it was exhausting.

your lack of response caused him to continue.

"this is the culture they created, and yet they turn their nose up at anything different. i wish i understood their mentality, if only to explain it to you, but i'm not sure i do really. there's so much talk about how marrying rich isn't worth the risk of tainting the bloodline through incest, but the moment you marry poor, you're opening your spouse up to a world of criticism."

your lips settled into a flat line, your brows furrowing above your piercing eyes.

"that's because they view us as animals... breeding partners. no one here cares about my feelings or my wellbeing as long as i'm able to give you what you need. there are so many of us, we've become expendable," you muttered. the man dug his slender fingers into your side, squeezing you tight in time with your words. glancing around the room one more time, you tacked on a bleak: "if i were to die right now, no one would care because you'd just as easily be able to find another girl to marry and have children with. and that isn't self-pity either, that's simply the reality of the situation."

johnny remained silent for a minute. as much as he wished to tell you he cared about your happiness and health, he was unsure that any amount of talking would change your mind. in addition to this, he couldn't deny that he knew where you were coming from--truth be told, a lot of the people in that room probably didn't care about you. to them, you were but another means to grow the family tree. but this wasn't how he saw you.

"let me take you somewhere," he suggested lightly. slowly pulling away, he allowed his hand to find yours. a small smile pulled at his lips as he felt your fingers weave themselves between his own. he wasn't stupid; he knew this act of trust stemmed from desperation and likely nothing more, but it made him happy nonetheless. "i think you've suffered enough for one night."

"i've suffered enough to last a lifetime," you grumbled to yourself.

"are you sure you're able to leave?" you asked, raising a brow up at the man.

"it isn't like anyone out there has the guts to really do anything about it," johnny scoffed. he turned a corner, leading you down a poorly lit corridor. at the end of the hallway you spotted the elevator, which seemed to be your current destination. "besides, i was serious when i said i want you to be happy here. i don't really see a reason to make you endure something like that if it was upsetting you that much."

as the elevator doors slowly slid open, you shot him a look of curiosity. it was notably colder inside, causing you to wrap your arms tightly around your torso. though you had grown up enduring far worse temperatures than that of a slightly chilly elevator, you had already grown used to the happy medium you liked to keep your bedroom. taking note of this, your husband quickly shed his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. without hesitation, you pushed your arms through the sleeves, looking in the mirror to see just how much the fabric swallowed you up. as much as you hated to admit it, you were grateful.

"yes, i noticed," he replied, selecting a button with the number four on it. you didn't have to speak for him to know exactly what you were asking. "i'm not dumb, (y/n). you don't ever go out of your way to show me any kind of affection, or even spend any more time with me than you have to, so i knew something was wrong the second you wanted to dance again. just so you know though, if it's just you and i like this, don't feel like you have to jump through hoops to get my help with something. i want to help you; all you have to do is ask."

though a proper thank you was likely in order, you couldn't bring yourself to muster one up. instead, you merely nodded your head as the doors reopened once more.

stepping out into the hallway, your features contorted in confusion. you don't think you had ever set foot on this floor before, as the walls were painted a deep maroon color and the walls were decorated with various medals and family photos. it was beautiful, but it was different. as you followed him straight ahead, you concluded that this must be his floor, as each achievement you passed had his name engraved on it. there were also a few sloppy drawings taped up here and there, but there were no signatures to indicate who had drawn them.

the more you thought about it, the less it made sense for awards to be given out if johnny was likely his private tutor's only student. it made you wonder who he was competing with, if anyone at all.

finally, you came to a stop at the only door you'd seen thus far. as a large hand turned the knob, you leaned forward to peek over his shoulder. you were curious to see what his room looked like, as well as how he chose to decorate it. you couldn't help but think that his parents had decorated the hallway while he was a little boy, as it somewhat resembled the way your mother and father chose to display the things you gifted them with as a child.

as the door swung open, you turned your head to the side in confusion. following him inside, your eyes roamed the room once more. it was twice the size of your bedroom, if not even bigger. there was a huge canopy bed sitting in the middle of the room, as well as a desk sitting in the corner. his dresser was positioned in front of the bed so that a large black television could rest on top of it. the walls, however, were blank. they were painted that same maroon color, but they had no personality, no sign that anyone truly lived there.

"my mom was like you," he said suddenly, sitting down on the right side of the bed. he gently patted the space next to him, encouraging you to take a seat next to him. you said nothing, only bent down to remove the painful high heels jisung had put you in. once they were sitting neatly by the door, you obliged his request. after he was certain you'd made yourself comfortable, he continued. "she didn't talk much sometimes, so it was hard to know what she was thinking. honestly, i learned more about her after she died than i ever could have dreamed of knowing while she was here. i knew she loved me, but i also knew she resented my father for the way her life turned out."

reaching up, he inserted two fingers into your intricate hairstyle, only to pull away with a hairpin in his grasp. he tossed it somewhere on the bed behind you before returning to the task he'd given himself. talking about his mother wasn't something that came easy to him, but it seemed a little less hard with his hands occupied.

"my father never laid a hand on her, but he was very strict. there was a certain way that everything had to be done and he didn't care how much it took from her, as long as she kept up appearances and got it done. i was thinking about what you said back at the reception. my mother had everything she could ever want and more, but she wasn't happy. she would never really say it to me, but i think we could never compare to the life she had before. even though the world was falling apart outside her bedroom window, she had a big family that loved and cared for her. she used to talk about how her mother taught her how to play the clarinet and at the end of each month her family would gather around in the living room to listen to her play nursey rhymes she had learned. my dad never cared about her interests like that."

there were many days he even doubted the love she had for him. he had lost count of the nights dinner was eaten in pure silence because she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge the two men in her life. she never said so, but he knew that she looked at him and saw his father, the man she hated with every fiber of her being. he was sure that she loved him in whatever way she knew how to, yet her unhappiness prevented her from showing any kind of endearment. sometimes, he felt like he was very lucky just to get a conversation from her.

"that's why you're so adamant about making me happy here," you observed.

as much as you resented what johnny did to you, your heart ached for the woman that lost it all and the little boy that never really had his mom. though you completely understood why his mother had behaved this way, you were empathetic toward the boy. it wasn't his fault she was trapped there and yet he experienced just as much backlash as the man she really should've been directing her anger toward. even on the darkest of days you still had your family, so you felt a dull pang if sadness in your chest for your husband, as he would never know what it's like to have your cup overflowing with a love like that.

a heavy sigh tumbled him his lips as he pulled the final pin from your hair. with gentle fingers he began to comb through your locks, pausing to unravel a small braid every now and again. once he was finished, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side.

"i would be dumb to ask you to love me," he admitted quietly. "but i don't want you to hate me. i know i'll never be able to undo the things i did to bring you to me, but i want to give you everything i possibly can to make your life here a little less shitty."

you swallowed the lump in your throat. for the first time that night, you were relaxed enough to pay attention to the little things, like the smell of his mahogany cologne filling your nose, or those soft fingers rubbing small circles into your shoulder atop the fabric of the jacket.

you hated that he cared. you hated that he cared so much, for it made it impossible to hate him the way you truly wanted to. it was so hard to dislike him when he was constantly offering to give you the world.

"you do engineering," you stated. it was spoken as though it could've possibly been a question, but you already knew the answer, and so he nodded quietly. "does that mean you know anything about science?"

"science?" he questioned, a small chuckle trailing not too far behind. "i know more than most people, and i'm sure we have plenty of books in the library. why? did you want to learn? i remember you mentioning it before."

"i don't really know much of anything when it comes to academics. my younger brother taught me how to read when we were kids, but i'm really nothing special," you confessed.

surprisingly, this was as personal as you had ever gotten with this man in the week you'd known him and yet it seemed like hardly anything at all. this was something you'd gotten accustomed to telling school children each year, but admitting it to your husband wasn't an easy task. up until that very moment, sharing things with him at all felt wrong. truthfully, had he not shared so much about his mother, the both of you would be sitting beneath the intense silence that so often hung over your heads.

then, you went on to say, "to be honest with you, i've always been really curious about science, but i never had the means to learn. a few years ago i read this book about butterflies and caterpillars and ever since then i've been fascinated by biology. i knew from observation that caterpillars grow to become butterflies, but there's so much more to it than that."

metamorphosis was the first nonfiction book you had gotten your hands on, your first real chance at learning about something that was truly a mystery to your young mind. like most of the other books you owned, this book was one your brother had managed to steal from one of the neighbors. he had grown smarter since the last time he was caught stealing, smart enough to hide his newfound treasure from your parents. however, he had never managed to hide such a thing from you. the young boy never showed signs of happiness like he did when a new chapter book was stashed away under his pillow, which was exactly where you had found it.

it has become a little tradition that each time you found something new, you would pull it from beneath his pillow while your parents were busy with work. every time he would protest, you simply smiled and threatened to go find your mother, wherever she happened to be that day. eventually, he stopped protesting altogether.

when you turned to look at johnny, he was flashing the biggest smile at you. you were unable to tell if it was because he enjoyed hearing you talk about things you're interested in or because he thought it was funny that something as simple as a small butterfly fascinated you so much.

"so you want me to teach you about biology then?" he asked, his smile refusing to falter.

"i need to do something to make my time here more meaningful. i feel like i don't get very much out of playing board games with jisung and watching tv all day... it doesn't feel right to spend so much time doing nothing," you told him honestly. back home, you spent every waking moment of the day doing something productive whether you liked it or not. come to find out you enjoyed it a lot, for your life felt empty without a full to do list. in a half dry tone, you went on to joke, "maybe if teach me something i'll even smile for you every once in a while."

he laughed softly to himself once more. of all things you could've asked for, of course it would be something academic. the only way he was ever able to get your attention was when he took you to the library, where you would eagerly select a new book to start together each day. whatever you were unable to finish made its way back to your room, which he imagined occupied a good amount of your free time. he had a hard time seeing you want much else.

"i can work with you every night after work, if that's what you really want. i have a couple of scientists that work closely with seotech, so if we get a little lost i can ask someone to step in," he informed you, to which you nodded. "bear in mind that i'm no teacher, but i want you to get a decent education, so i'll step down at some point if that's what it takes."

he waited not for a response, as he wasn't too hopeful he would get one. though you'd been so much more talkative tonight than you typically were, he knew you well enough now to know that you chose when to talk at random regardless of the mood you were in. instead, he let his arm drop from your body and slowly rose to his feet.

making his way to the dresser, he looked over his shoulder to tell you, "i'm sure i have something you can change into, but i'm not sure about your makeup. i might have to have someone send something down when you're ready for bed."

"bed?" you asked in disbelief.

while you were very grateful he'd given you a safe haven to run to during the painful reception, you didn't know how you felt about spending the night in his bedroom. more than anything, you were worried that this meant you were expected to have sex with him. this wasn't something that had ever come up in conversation before, but you couldn't help but feel that it was the only reason you were there. just like his mother, you were expected to carry children for a man you'd only just met, to raise them regardless of how much you truly wanted to.

you watched as he rummaged through drawer after drawer, presumably looking for a comfortable article of clothing to give to you. after pulling a plain white tee shirt from the third drawer down, he turned to glance at you for a split second before resuming his hunt.

"it's only for show, (y/n). word travels so fast around here and those people downstairs expect us to have a good reason for leaving early. if it looks like we left to... consummate the marriage, it's a lot less likely that someone is going to come complaining to me about it. it's not something you talk about," he spoke, his voice raising from a distracted mumble to an even tone as he finally found what he was looking for. pulling a pair of plaid boxers from his top drawer, he turned around and gently tossed both items onto the foot of the bed next to you. seeing the concern plastered across your face, he frowned. "i'm not going to make you do anything you're not comfortable with, if that's what you think. hell, i'll even sleep on the floor if that's what you want. if one day you randomly wake up and want to have sex with me, cool, but until then, we don't have to do anything you don't want to."

you only nodded in response, wrapping your fingers around both pieces of clothing and promptly rose to your feet. thankfully the bathroom door had been left open, so you didn't need to worry about having to guess which room was the bathroom and which was the closet. upon entering, you noticed it was kept very clean. coupled with the lack of personality the bedroom had, you were coming to the conclusion that johnny didn't spend much time here. you knew based on things he'd told you throughout the week that his job required a lot of his time and focus, though you hadn't expected this to mean he had very little time at home. maybe he didn't like it here very much, you thought. that was always a possibility.

tossing the black suit jacket to the floor, you finally began to undress. reaching back to tug at the zipper on your dress, you came across a problem. you let out a soft sigh and nervously wrapped your hand around the doorknob. you pulled the door open so slowly before poking your head out. your husband was working on unbuttoning his shirt, his tie having already been thrown onto the hardwood floor. you closed your eyes at the speed of light and fought back a groan. just as you didn't want to be seen with anything less than a full outfit of clothes on, it felt wrong to watch him undress.

"i need help!" you called out prior to pushing the door shut once more.

it took but a minute for the door to reopen and your husband to step into the large bathroom.

"what's wrong?" he asked curiously.

you peeked one eye open, only to close it immediately after. in that fleeting moment you noticed that his white button up hung open, revealing his toned abdomen. then, you heard a low chuckle in your ear, like he found your nervousness amusing. even still, you refused to make eye contact through the mirror's reflection. you just let your head hang low and your eyes remain closed for your own comfort, your voice coming out so, so small.

"my zipper is stuck," you revealed.

"you should've just said so," he responded easily. you could almost hear the smirk on his lips.

within moments you were able to feel his nimble fingers on the small of your back, causing a small shiver to run down your spine. the soft pads of his fingers trailed up and up until you heard the shrill sound of metal on metal. you were thankful this dress had sleeves, for you thought it would be so embarrassing if he took notice of the tiny goosebumps erupting across your forearms. just like that though, he pulled away, allowing you to let out a breath of relief.

"don't worry, i'm going to put a shirt back on," he joked. you opened your eyes finally, keeping them trained on his shoes as they left the room. then, he snickered to himself. in a low voice, he continued, "i don't think you'd be able to handle it otherwise."

#hydrangea ;#johnny seo #ceo au #nct #nct angst #nct fanfic #nct series #nct 127 #nct fluff #nct johnny #nct jisung #nct writing

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nct-lian · 4 years ago

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her style (seven categories)

— daily wear (casual wear)

lian’s entire wardrobe is the definition of ulzzang fashion. she loves loves loves the korean style !! lian can get cold really easily, and so she tries to incorporate some sort of long sleeve into all her outfits.

it works out perfectly as well because when i tell you she’s obsessed with cardigans and jeans- lian owns SO MANY JEANS like half her closet is just jeans and it’s scary :0

she doesn’t normally gravitate towards layering clothing, but i promise that when she does, it looks so so good.

she has no problem layering a simple sweater vest or putting on a thick sweater over something thin, but she’s expressed how she finds it to be uncomfortable if she layers a bunch of thick clothing on top of each other.

lian also really loves skirts !! her legs have never really been the target of cold weather, so wearing skirts in the fall (or even winter at times) has thankfully never been a problem for her. she particularly loves mini skirts with a solid colour or a plaid design.

her colour scheme consists of neutral colours, black and whites and occasional pops of pastel!

— formal wear (meetings, company dinners, etc.)

there’s a rule in sm that states: the idols aren’t to wear anything denim or “lazy looking” while attending important events within the company or meeting new people in public because it’ll set a good first impression.

lian makes sure not to go overboard when dressing formally, but she’d get scolded if she were to underdress. and so that leaves her with a limited amount of options when choosing what to wear.

she tends to go with the simple blouse paired with a mini skirt, or if she doesn’t have the energy to try, she’ll throw on a pair of trousers with a solid coloured top and call it a day.

whereas if she were to be attending a company gathering with her seniors, she’ll wear a pretty dress or expand her “blouse + mini skirt” outfit into something a little more extravagant!

again, her formal colour scheme sticks to a neutral palette with black and whites. it’s rare to see any sort of colour if she hadn’t decided to wear something plaid.

— comfy wear (lounging, hanging out at home, etc.)

as much as lian wishes she could just stay in her pyjamas all day long when they’re off schedules, she knows that’ll do her no good. forcing herself to get up every morning and change also gives her the motivation to brush her teeth and wash her face like she needs to.

that being said, if she has to change so early in the morning, then she’s sticking with something incredibly comfortable.

tons of oversized shirts and baggy pants—the shirts normally belonging to the boys. no joke, johnny has lost over fifteen sweaters to lian, and they’re definitely not going back to him.

like his shirts basically go all the way down to her knees and so there’s no need for pants to keep her legs warm. a random pair of shorts and she’s good to go!

all of her comfy clothes are super soft and fluffy and perfect for sitting around to do nothing! she practically swims in all of these clothing items, but that’s part of the fun :D

she doesn’t really care about the colour, but she does have to match the pants with the shirt because if she doesn’t, then that’s just wrong, guys.

— sleep wear (pyjamas)

the fifth floor’s heating system has been broken for like the past three months and nobody has fixed it yet, so the dorm is constantly cold.

but lian does this thing where she freezes herself before she goes to bed because “it’ll feel nice when i sleep.”

the boys always tell her to go put on a sweater or change into a longer pair of pants because her sleep wear is literally the thinnest material ever—and not to mention, she’s wearing short sleeves most of the time!

lian seriously despises going to sleep in long pants because they make her overheat and it’s all uncomfortable when she’s under her thick ass duvet, so her pyjamas are normally short.

again, lian doesn’t really care about the colour because they normally come in sets and everything matches anyway. she definitely prefers to have a thin and soft material!

— award show wear (first row: while performing, second row: red carpets)

okay say it with me: LIAN PRETTIEST GIRL !! the stylists absolutely love love love lian, and they make sure to show it when putting her outfits together. whenever lian is performing on stage, she’s always decked out in a glitter filled outfit so that she shines even brighter than she already does—especially if she’s with the boys.

it’s no secret that lian is rather ... vertically challenged, and the stylists want to make sure she’s not completely enveloped into them to the point where she can’t be seen. they make sure her outfits a little more sparkly so she’s able to be seen well, but they always have to match with what the rest of of them are wearing.

if she doesn’t match, she’ll looks like a random girl just following them everywhere they go, and that’s something nobody wants!

while walking the red carpet, lian literally looks a million dollars. all her outfits are personally made just for her so they fit perfectly! unless it comes from a designer brand, of course.

she’s obviously had a little bit of malfunctions because the “too short for their body type dress” has happened once or twice despite having all her outfits custom made. make that make sense tbh ??

the colour scheme is super colourful and diverse! like stated before, the stylists love to have her stand out and shine, so they love to take risks while creating her outfits :)

— jewelry (necklaces, rings, earrings, etc.)

lian loves her jewelry! she’s always seen wearing pretty necklaces, shiny bracelets and gorgeous, dangly earrings :) but she has a very strong love-hate relationship with rings.

there are only certain rings she’s able to wear because bulky and chunky ones make her very uncomfortable. she leans more towards the dainty and thin style.

for earrings, she really goes all out with them. her earrings are always dangly and shiny, and super extravagant! she has a lot of piercings as well so she’s able to wear several earrings at a time.

her necklace preference is fairly basic; just the simple dainty chain with a diamond on the end or a trail of pearls.

— head wear (hats, headbands, hair clips, etc.)

lian honestly doesn’t care for hats that much. she prefers having her hair flow nicely with a couple of hair pins to keep it in place, but it’s necessary to have a hat on while dancing because her hair will go EVERYWHERE everywhere if it’s not secured in some way.

she only likes bucket hats and baseball caps because she believes that the other ones are ugly. no offence to beanie wearers, it’s just not her style!

headbands aren’t something she’s too into either, she’ll only wear them if she believes that it’ll go well with her outfit. she’ll also wear them if she has to keep the front pieces of hair out of her face for the day.

lian’s hair clips are like her children. she’s always wearing some sort of pin and they’re literally so beautiful and match her outfits so well!

not only does lian absolutely love the way her hair clips look on herself, but she likes how the boys look with them in their hair as well. when yuta still had his long hair, she would constantly be styling it for him.

he would be adorned in golden bobby pins and sparkly clips basically 24/7 :D

majority of lian’s clothing sticks to a neutral colour palette, so she buys hair accessories that match well!

#lian: get to know her!#nct addition #nct female member #kim chungha #nct 127 #nct #nct dream #wayv #lianna bae #nct 127 added member #nct 127 female member #nct dream female member #nct dream added member #nct 22nd member #nct 24th member

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dekuscrybaby · 5 years ago

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nights of disapproval

pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

request: yes; hi could i ask for an imagine of todoroki introducing his girlfriend to his dad for the first time and endeavor doesn’t approve but todoroki defends her to him

word count: 3.5k+ words

warnings: like one curse word, implications of sex (i mention children like twice), slight angst, fluff fluff fluff

summary: shouto wants you and his siblings to finally meet and the chance finally arises over a nice dinner. except endeavor ends up being there as well and he isn’t too fond of you.

it’s been nine months. nine beautiful months that you would never trade for anything else in the world.

nine months of genuine happiness. nine months of wholesome laughs and giggles, of innocent touches, of not so innocent touches. nine months of pure bliss.

nine months of being the lucky girl that owned todoroki’s once cold and closed-off heart.

it took you a while to break down the walls that securely locked away shouto’s heart. you were kinda the flynn ryder to his rapunzel, his heart being rapunzel who was being locked away by the childhood trauma that he developed through all his father put him through.

you didn’t blame him though. if you were placed in a similar situation, you probably would’ve never had the guts to socialize with any person, but you were lucky that you weren’t in that situation. lucky to be placed as a sort of comforter for the youngest todoroki.

you were lucky that todoroki found you worthy. worthy enough to love. worthy enough for him to bring down his walls. worthy enough to confide in you all he’s been through and all he’s going through.

the relationship you two had was one neither of you had ever experienced before, which was probably due to the fact that you were both still pretty inexperienced but that didn’t make your current experience anything less than euphoric.

you loved him with every fiber of your being and he returned the same passion, perhaps even more than you. he feels as if no one has ever loved him as much as you loved him. there was absolutely nobody in the world that did so much for him, out of sheer adoration for him as an individual.

yes, he loved the majority of his family and they loved him back but the love they displayed towards each other was nothing in comparison to the love you and him shared.

the eight most important letters in your relationship were spoken “early” and there wasn’t anything wrong with that. you two just fell for each other hard and quick. contrary to what everyone believed, you guys weren’t the couple to fall fast and end fast.

nine months into a relationship as high schoolers and you were both completely sure this relationship would be the only one you’d be in for the rest of your life.

you both wanted to stay together until your guys’ last breath. you both wanted to stay together long enough to reach your final date as boyfriend and girlfriend. long enough for you to share the same last name. long enough for you to have children of your own, children who’d be perfect mixtures of each other. children who’d symbolize the love you hold for each other.

todoroki had never been so sure of anything besides his need to marry you and have you for the rest of his life. sure he was still really young and marriage should not be in his plans just yet, but he couldn’t help it. he found you so early in his life that he wanted to ensure you’d stay for the rest of it.

it took him a lot of thinking to not impulsively buy you an engagement ring. he couldn’t help himself really, but as much as he wanted to take his father’s credit card and buy you a ring now, he decided to do the second-best thing: introduce you to his family.

well, it was actually fuyumi’s idea for you to come over to the house for dinner, but the detail isn’t all that important. what was important was that todoroki would finally have the chance to let his family meet the person who allowed him to live a normal life, or at least, the most normal life a hero course student could live.

after that, he’d hope it all goes smoothly enough for him to at least buy you a promise ring. a promise ring he’ll be sure to replace with an actual engagement ring as soon as graduation, which would then be replaced with a wedding band and last name identical to his.

todoroki found himself too deep into his thoughts that he didn’t hear your soft voice calling after him.

“shou, does this look good or should i try on another one?” you turned back to look at him after glancing over what was probably your fifth outfit today.

feeling your gaze upon his figure was the only thing that made him break his concentration. he looked up at you and raked his eyes up and down your figure, smiling softly at what he saw.

it was a somewhat basic yet cute outfit. light blue jeans, paired with a white flowy shirt, and a pair of booties. nothing flashy nor too simple, but to him, you looked absolutely perfect.

“it looks great,” he offered with a warm smile, which caused you to blush a bit, still not getting over his soft behavior with you.

“that’s what you said about the past three outfits too.”

“yeah, but i can’t help that you look amazing in everything. besides, i think you’re worrying a little too much about this whole meeting thing. it’s just a simple dinner that’s only meant to introduce you to my family,” he chuckled softly.

you pouted slightly before replying, “it’s still a pretty big deal, this is your family we’re talking about, shou. i have to make a good impression on them or else they won’t let us be together.”

“love, it’s just my family. i’m sure they’ll love you and it’s even better when you remember that you’re dating me and not my family. what they think isn’t as important as what i think,” todoroki spoke softly, while walking towards you, arms sneaking around your waist to pull you closer.

“i’m still nervous, your family loves you so much and i want them to be able to count on me when it comes to you,” you sighed quietly while wrapping your arms around his neck.

shouto placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and smiled, “are you trying to say you don’t love me as much as my family?”

you giggled and shook your head, snuggling closer into his chest as you mumbled back a reply, “no, i do. or at least i think i do, i’m just saying that i want to be able to properly weave my way in. i kinda want them to feel as if i’m part of the family.”

“they’ll consider you part of it after tonight, i promise. plus, you’re not that far away from having todoroki as a last name as well, so you’re really not far off from being part of the family.”

you could only blush and swat at his chest in response, the idea of sharing a last name with him being too much for you to handle. yet, it was something you were definitely looking forward to.

“you can talk about changing my last name once there’s a ring on my finger,” you said, rolling your eyes playfully while pulling away from his embrace.

“what makes you think i don’t have the ring in my pocket right now?” todoroki teasingly raises an eyebrow at you.

“the fact that we’re still too young to get married.”

“time’s only an illusion, love.”

“sure, but your philosophical thinking won’t stop us from being late to dinner if you don’t shut up and let me finish getting ready.” todoroki playfully scoffed at your teasing

“here i am trying to propose to the love of my life while the night’s still young, and you just bully me. some wife you’ll make,” he huffs out before fixing his hair a little.

“for your information, i’ll make a great wife that you can propose to a few years from now. the only proposal i’ll be taking is your sister’s invitation to dinner with the rest of your family.” you snickered, making your way back to the bathroom to apply finishing touches to your appearance before leaving for the todoroki household.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧ “are you sure this looks okay? i’m starting to think my outfit is way too casual,” you chewed on your bottom lip nervously.

“y/n, you’re acting as if i’m wearing anything out of the ordinary. you’re dressed perfectly fine, stop worrying so much.” shouto chuckled softly as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

you could only sigh quietly and nod your head slightly, trying to get rid of all the nervous jitters that were coursing through your veins. i mean it’s just a small and casual family dinner, nothing to be too worried about right?

except, this could literally make or break your relationship with todoroki. what if his siblings hate you? what if they think you’re too underdressed? what if they hate you so much they tell shouto to break up with you? what if they’re so insistent on it that he actually does? “y/n/n, it’s just a simple dinner with my brother and sister. they’re incredibly nice, i’ll even go as far to say they’re the nicest people you’ll meet. hell of a lot nicer than when you first met me, that’s for sure.”

you giggled quietly as you both walked up to the entrance of your boyfriend’s childhood home, “you were a pain in the ass when we first met, but that makes me feel strangely better about this.”

“well i’m glad that my unfortunate past brings you a sense of comfort,” shouto teased her lightly just as his knuckles rapped against the door.

“if anything, you should blame your asshole of a dad for his extreme la-” your sentence meant to insult your boyfriend’s father was cut short as soon as you caught a glimpse of fiery red hair and literal flames for facial hair. “shouto, what are you doing here?” endeavor exclaimed, a wide grin on his face as he began to think his son stopped by to visit him.

“i’m not here to see you if that’s what you’re assuming,” the youngest son of endeavor almost snarled as he tightened his hold on you. “i’m here to have dinner with my brother and sister.”

“seeing as i’m here, we can enjoy a nice family dinner! it has been too long of a time since we all sat together and ate as a family,” the pro-hero voiced enthusiastically before he turned to meet your gaze. “and who might this be? a classmate? friend?”

“nice to meet you, sir. i’m y/n l/n,” you offered a shaky hand to greet him in the most polite way. you made sure to exclude your title as shouto’s girlfriend as you didn’t want to do something that might end up making your boyfriend uncomfortable. you figured that you’d let him introduce you as his girlfriend when he felt the timing was appropriate.

with a much colder expression, enji took your much smaller hand and shook it, the grip on the handshake a lot more firm than you would have expected. still, you were somewhat glad there wasn’t any form of disgust with your presence in his home so you took it as a small victory.

“enji todoroki, please come in,” the older man spoke with a gruff voice, not wanting to pick a fight with his son, he let you both in and walked to the living room.

“c’mon, we can go greet my sister and brother before we sit down to eat.” shouto voiced with a soft tone, contrasting the rough one of his father.

with a small smile and nod from you, todoroki led you to the kitchen of his home where a slightly older girl and boy were moving around, adding final touches to what you assumed was you guys’ dinner.

“hey, we’re home.” a smile spread on shouto’s face as his siblings quickly turned to look at him with equally bright smiles.

“shouto!” the girl, who you now knew to be his sister, exclaimed before her and her brother rushed over to embrace the dual-colored haired boy.

shouto was the one who broke the heartwarming reunion to turn back to look at you before introducing you, “this is y/n l/n, my girlfriend.”

you waved at them with a shy smile, “please just call me y/n. it is very nice to meet you, todoroki-san, and thank you for inviting me to dinner.”

“it’s only fair that you call me fuyumi if i get to call you y/n,” fuyumi laughed quietly before gesturing to shouto’s brother. “this is natsuo and we’re really glad we finally get to meet you, shouto talks about you non-stop, all good things of course.”

you glanced at the said boy and noticed how a rosy color took home and his usually pale cheeks before laughing softly, “well that’s good to hear. shouto speaks highly of you guys as well.”

wanting to avoid any more embarrassment from the two girls, shouto spoke up, “uh do you want us to help you with dinner?”

“oh yes! would you two mind setting the table? i’m just about ready to take everything out, but i need the table to be set beforehand and natsuo’s barely any help.” she rolled her eyes jokingly.

natsuo feigned his offense as he passed the silverware to shouto, “i am plenty of help! you’re just very picky and refuse to acknowledge how great of a brother i am”

“yeah right,” she mumbled, causing everyone to laugh.

after being handed everything, you and shouto went into the dining room to do as fuyumi asked of you.

“i thought you said your dad wasn’t going to be joining us today?”

“he wasn’t supposed to, i guess his plans changed,” he shrugged before you guys finished up the task.

about ten minutes later, the table was set and everyone was sitting around the table. after expressing your gratitude for the meal, everyone began to eat and ensure small conversations.

“so, y/n, you and shouto are in the same class right?” fuyumi glanced up at you, a warm smile still framing her face.

you nodded before responding, “yeah we are. it’s really nice being in the same class as him, it gives us more time to spend together. everyone in the class is fun to be around but something about shouto being there makes it even better.”

“so you’re in the hero course?” endeavor spoke to you for the second time the entire evening.

“yes sir, as i just mentioned class 1-a. i’ve always wanted to become a hero and i’m glad to know u.a. found me worthy enough to be enrolled there.”

“interesting,” he grumbled before continuing to eat.

ignoring his father’s lack of enthusiasm, natsuo turned to look at you “so that’s where you and shouto met right?”

you turned to look at shouto before laughing softly, “actually, i first met him at our entrance exams.”

“you did?” fuyumi inquired.

“mhm, shouto was just too emo and in his head to remember correctly, but we met at the entrance exams and that’s where i first grew my little crush on him.” you smiled as you reminisced on the memory.

“you know, i think i might remember some loser staring at me with a lovestruck expression,” shouto teased you before you playfully shoved him and told him to shut up.

“you know i love you, y/n, you and your dumb lovestruck expressions,” he laughed as he placed a small kiss on the top of your head.

the four-letter word quickly caused endeavor to snap his head up towards the both of you, “love?”

fuyumi, quickly noticing her father’s annoyance, attempted to dissolve any conflicts from arising, “father-“

regardless she was cut off, “how long have you guys been dating?”

“nine months, sir, it happened a little after the sports festival,” you replied, anxiety slowly seeping into your veins once again at the thought of his disapproval.

“nine months, and what is your quirk?”

“m-my quirk? it’s nothing too grand, it’s called (insert quirk name).” you began to chew on your lip.

“shouto, i don’t really think that’s suited for your quirk style. in fact, i don’t believe y/n’s general personality to be suited for you. she’ll be the reason why you won’t be on track for becoming a pro.”

“father, i think yo-“ fuyumi attempted to intervene a second time.

“quiet, fuyumi. as for you,” he added as he began to glare at you. “do you honestly believe you’re good enough for my son? do you not believe that you’re distracting him from becoming the number one hero in this country?”

“i-“ you stammered quietly.

enji took this at a chance to continue bashing you, “seeing as you have no backbone, i’ll make it simple and answer for you. you are not good enough for my son and you are a huge distraction for him and his goals. so i suggest-“

“enough, father.” shouto growled, his hand quickly resting against your thigh as a way to comfort you.

despite his warm touch, you couldn’t find much ease in it. you knew shouto was only trying to keep you from being upset, but one look at his face had you more worried about him than you were about yourself.

“y/n is good enough for me, in fact, she might even be too good for me. her quirk is not at all important in determining our relationship’s worth and i don’t care about how it plays an influence in our potential children’s quirks.” he paused as an ice-cold glare continued to replace the warm eyes you were so used to seeing. even with an expression as cold as the one he currently wore, you along with his siblings could see a fiery passion in them. a passion that you recognized to be his strong love for you.

“she is not distracting me from my goals because she shares the same one, and it is not becoming the number one hero, it’s becoming a respectable one. i don’t really give a damn if you approve or disapprove of my relationship with her because i am the one in love with her, not you. frankly, this dinner wasn’t even meant as an opportunity for you to meet her. tonight was meant for my siblings and girlfriend to meet each other, but thanks to you, it’s been ruined.”

letting out an aggravated sigh, he stood up from the dinner table and took a hold of your hand, prompting you to do the same. once he had the opportunity to properly hold your hand, he offered you a gentle squeeze before turning to acknowledge his older siblings, who couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his brother finally finding someone he cared for so greatly.

“fuyumi, natsuo, thank you for letting us come by and eat for a bit. i’m sorry things turned out this way. hopefully, we’re able to do this in a much more suitable environment. we’ll be leaving now, good night.” he expresses in a lighter tone before walking out of the house with you.

you were still in shock of the entire altercation that you didn’t even feel that you and shouto had stopped walking after a while. you didn’t even feel his hands rubbing up and down your arms until you felt a gaze upon your features. when you finally snapped out of your thoughts, you saw the concern written all over your boyfriend’s face.

“are you okay?” he spoke in the softest tone you’ve heard all night.

“y-yeah, just in shock i guess,” you stuttered.

“i’m sorry about my father, i really thought he’d at least attempt to be civil with this whole thing. i’m sorry that he ruined our night.” he sighed quietly as he continued to rub one of your arms, gently.

you smiled softly and shook your head, “your father did not ruin our night. if i’m being honest, it was a lovely night despite what happened with your father. your sister and brother are amazing people that i’m overjoyed to have met. if anything, i’m thankful that you stood up for me. i’m thankful you stood up for our entire relationship.”

shouto mirrored your smile and leaned in to kiss your forehead. “you know i love you with my entire being, y/n. i’d do anything for you and standing up against my father is something i usually do anyway.”

“thank you, shouto. i love you too, so so much. let’s hurry up and go home, i’m in the mood for a movie and cuddles.” you beamed.

“of course, my love.” shouto chuckled before beginning your walk back to the u.a. dorms.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧

“so, potential children, huh?” you quipped at him as you were swinging your intertwined hands together.

“we won’t be having any children since you basically rejected my potential proposal earlier today,” todoroki smirked as he heard you whine.

“shouto!”

“i’m only teasing. we’ll see about our potential children when you accept my real proposal sometime in the future.”

#todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shouto imagine #todoroki x reader #todoroki imagine #todoroki fluff #todoroki shouto #todoroki shouto x reader fluff #shouto todoroki #shouto todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki imagine #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha fanfic #mha imagine #mha imagines #mha x reader

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rayslittlekitten · 3 years ago

Note

Rosalind x F!reader!!!!! 🤩😍🥵

Yes, an anon requested a Ros x F! Reader an embarrassingly amount of time ago. I literally have not written F/F for nearly two decades and I personally am not like into Ros like that but I took up the challenge. the set up was reader having car trouble and Ros comes save the day. This is literally all I have:

"'Ello, love. You need a 'and?"

You look over from under the hood of your car and see a woman with dark hair and shades eyeing you from the drivers' side of the window of her fancy sports car pulled up next to you.

"Yeah, actually I do. Can I borrow your mobile to call someone? Mine died."

"I can do you one bet'ah." She pulls up and over to the side of the road in front of your car. The drivers' side opens up and the first thing you see is her six-inch black stilettos with red bottoms planting on the asphalt. Your eyes travel up her longer legs as she pushes herself out of the car. She's wearing a tight black mini cocktail dress. She shuts her car door and struts over to you. You suddenly feel a bit underdressed in your sportswear.

"What seems to be the problem?" the woman asks as she pushes her sunglasses to the crown of her head.

"The car started over heating I think," you tell her.

“May I?” She asks as she looks at you.

You step aside and she occupies the place you were just standing. You watch as this beautiful woman pokes around under the hood of the car. Her fingers are slender and long and her manicure looks pristine. They’re the same color as her bright red full lips. As she leans over to reach something in the far end, you notice the curve of her ass that her short dress is barely containing.

She pops her head from out under the hood.

“Love, it looks like your engine is shot,” she tells you and then closes the hood of your car. “Probably the radiator. When was the last time you had your car serviced?”

“I can’t remember,” you reply. “You know a lot about cars?”

She smirks. “I own an auto shop. In fact, it’s not too far from ‘ere. I can call a tow truck and it can be here in 15 minutes.”

“That is too kind of you,” you tell her. “How much is it going to run me?”

“We’d have to give it a proper look first but I promise I’ll give you a good price, love.” She winks at you. “I’ll be right back.”

As the woman walks back to her car, you watch her hips sway left and right. After a few minutes she walks back to you.

“My guy will be here to pick up your car and bring it back to the shop,” she tells you.

"Thank you for stopping to help. I tried waving cars down but nobody bloody stopped for me. And I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere.” You huff and fold your arms across your chest. “You’d think there’d be at least one decent gentleman to help a damsel.”

“Oh, love. I’ve learned not to rely on men a long time ago. You’ve got to just rely on yourself,” she says. “But I do have to say I am a bit quite surprised no one stopped for an exquisite lady like you.”

You notice her eyeing you up and down with a smirk.

"That's sweet of you." You bite your lower lip and smile at her.

“Where can I take you, love?”

"Oh, I don't want to inconvenience you. You must be going somewhere dressed like that." You rub the back of your neck, not knowing what to do with your hands.

"I was just on my way to the shop. Left some paperwork there. I can give you a lift."

"That, that would be lovely," you answer.

WIP Tag Ask Game

#inbox #tag game #wip ask game

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ktheist · 4 years ago

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princess’ tyrant | m

warnings: extremely (on my part) mature content. dubious consent. yandere.

[23:34]

“it is fate’s will to have you marry the tyrant prince!” your father, the king’s voice booms across the room like a thunder without a storm.

“but you promised me!”

the look on vernon, the first advisor’s face is patronizing. even when he stands quietly still, he still manages to make you feel like a child. too lacking in both manner and knowledge of politics. perhaps, he’s thinking all those lessons had gone out of the window. perhaps, he’s wondering if you were even listening to him this whole time to have brought upon the king’s wrath so.

yet, in the gruesome face of the decider of your fate, you still scream, “you promised you wouldn’t sell me off like my elder sisters!”

“i said no such thing.” unlike a second ago, your father’s voice is unnervingly calm but there is a threat in the way he says those words.

“on mother’s death bed-” you manage to force out even though your whole body trembles in fear, “-before she died you-”

“enough!” the thunder comes striking back full force.

clamorous are the footsteps of the knights he ordered to escort you back to your room. the closer they get the more hesitant they become. of course, one would not know whether to grab the princess by the shoulders and drag her like a prisoner or surround her until she gives in and walks back to her room on her own accord.

“don’t touch me.” as you are your father’s daughter, that same unnervingly calm tone sends the knights freezing in their spot.

with one last opposing glare, you whirl on your heels, leaving the shock-stricken knights to scamper after you only to hear your father retract his order and murmur an indiscreet, “perhaps i shouldn’t have coddled her so much.”

perhaps, he shouldn’t have. you mentally agreed. he shouldn’t have spent those years playing pretend and making you think that if there was one person who would understand, it would be him.

that the prince fate so-called chose was more devil than tyrant. his charming smile and composed air had all been a facade.

“that took awhile,” a voice laments once the doors to your room shut behind you.

somewhere on your bed, a shadow shifts, its head turning to look at you, “i was afraid his majesty would go against the workings of fate.”

to have the other half of your soul be of the same status and ranking - what joy it would bring.

if only it had not been jimin, the tyrannic prince of the wocrye.

“please leave, i’m tired,” you curtly request, feet carrying you to your vanity out of the sheer repulse of having to look at his shadow.

“ah, but you and i are already wedded,” how can such a cruel man be blessed with a voice of an angel?

“there hasn’t been a ceremony yet, until then please refrain myself from entering my room,” you begin pulling out the ornaments out of your hair. usually, your maid would be the one preparing you for bed but the circumstances are different one walked in on jimin trapping you underneath him on your bed.

the hair pin that jimin had pulled out of your hair then almost pierced her eyes.

“the priest gave us his blessing and the official documents had been sorted,” he reminded. that fretful day had only been last week.

on the day of your birthday, the crown prince of wocrye, having been invited to strengthen political relations, had approached you with a disinterested glaze in his eyes. it was clear that he was going to introduce himself to you and disappear for the rest of the night if the unfamiliar sensation of sparks hadn’t made you yelp and drop the wine glass.

“you feel it too, don’t you?” his grip around your wrist had caused you to wince - it was then that he’d released you from his grasp but only for a short while.

the day after, you’d woken up to your father announcing what was supposed to be a joyful news of the princess and the prince’s souls becoming one.

you can’t deny the ugly truth.

somewhere in the palace, the documents engraving your name and jimin’s next to each other are kept. its location possibly only known by your father at the moment.

“even still...” is the only meek response you can conjure up. the new butterfly hairpin gifted by jimin glittering from the moonlight.

“don’t think,” the hand on your shoulders are foreign. they don’t feel at all like the loving touch of your father’s, “just give in to me- i’ll make you forget all those painful memories.”

it’s the implication that you’re suffering that causes you to shoot up, chair screeching, “these memories are painful because they’re being tainted by you!”

the face he makes is too apparent. his brows knit together and his naturally pouted lips pull together into a wounded nature. it doesn’t help that a loose robe hangs over his shoulders, the sash undone, leaving nothing to the imagination.

no. it’s fate’s twisted work - you tell yourself when your heart begin to rush and a familiar heat spreads under your dress.

“don’t just look, princess ___,” his breath is hot on the shell of your ear, “every part of me is yours - you can touch me all you want.”

a yelp escapes your mouth when the thin fabric of your glove grazes against his length, guided by his hand.

“h-how rude!” you glare, thighs hitting the edge of the vanity and trapping you between the furniture and the naked prince.

a light chuckle pours out of his mouth when your hand slips away and begin to clasp in front of your chest. he leaves them alone. in return, his mouth latches onto your collarbone, the necklace you’ve been wearing trapped against your skin and the wretched prince’s tongue. that’s the only explanation for the moan that tumbles out of your mouth.

“if you make that sound,” another yelp bounces off the walls as you find yourself losing balance and gripping onto the man’s rippled shoulders when he swoops you up in his arms, “i don’t think i can stop myself.”

the smile that curls on his lips are treacherously handsome and you find yourself staring at how he manages to make them seem wicked yet kissable. before you know it, your body is lightly bouncing off the bed after he unceremoniously drops you.

“y-you vile human!” you hiss, hand shooting up to push the tiara back to the center of your head when it moved from your fall. it’s done more out of habit than pride.

jimin only laughs and yet even that sound is filled with affection as he crawls over you.

“that i am,” he hums, lips sporting traces of red from your lipstick after he pecked you on your lips.

“i’ll tell you this one last time. leave now.” you glare but don’t stop the hand that snakes behind your dress to pull down your zip.

it could have been because you’ve bathed together before in a tub. or perhaps because it’s dark and there’s barely any light besides the moon rays. or perhaps that dazed look of endless devotion as your dress slides down your chest and pools around your waist - you still have your undergown on but even then, if you stepped onto the battlefield wearing nothing but the thin underdress, the wretched prince would simply stop, throw away his sword, walk to you and get on his knees like an enchanted man.

“well?” the click of your tongue is what summons those eyes to yours, “aren’t you going to take it off?”

#bts smut #jimin smut #bts scenarios #jimin scenarios #bts fic #bts fanfic #jimin fic #jimin fanfic #jimin imagines #bts imagines #bts au #bts x you #bts x reader #excerpt from a fic i'll never write

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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 4 years ago

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Zukka Soulmate AU part 9

@mypureessence

@chaoticidiott

@ari-shipping-stuff

@knightedbot

@idkhowbutimgayer

@swampy-beans

@angrylittleintrovert

Kurt was only out for about 15 minutes but that was long enough for Tarren and Fin to get him to the back on one of the spare cots. The gaang besides Iroh and Jee stayed to see how things went down, all gathered in the room reading maps and planning their trip while Lily paced back and forth muttering to herself before she threw her hands in the air

"Why wouldnt he tell us!?" She shouted

"I dont know Lily" Tarren said while he dabbed a cold towel on Kurt's forhead

"I mean, he could see the scars the three of us share! Why... why wouldnt he say anything!?"

"I'm sure he had a good reason Lily, I mean, how did you guys even know you had a third soulmate?" Katara asked with a small tilt to her head.

The duo both placed their hands to their chests instinctively. "Well, we didn't always know, but one day we both collapsed in the middle of a shift,"

[Flashback when? Flashback now!]

"Of course Miss Jin, Grey with honey and two sugars at 3 pm sharp just like every other Friday" Lily smiled while handing the girl her cup of tea she made for her at the exact same time every single friday evening. Jin was a favorite.

"How are you and Tarren?" Jin asked with a smile which made Lily blush

"Hah. We're doing alr-" suddenly Lily lost her breath from a blunt pain in her chest. "Tarren" she wheeled out just before letting out a yelp and clutching her chest "Tarren!"

"Lily!" Tarren's voice called out from the other sid of the Library followed by the sound of scrolls falling to the ground

The two scrambled to eachother with Jin following Lily and Fin rushing out from the back with paperwork to see what was happening. The pair crashed into eachother and held onto the others arms "what happened?" Lily cried out "whats going on. It burns, oh Gods it burns Tarren"

"I- I dont know" Tarren when to unclip his uniform, shucking off the top shirt before ripping the underdress to reveal painful bubbling skin in the shape of a hand and spreading across his chest and up to his neck down past where he managed to rip down to.

"There's a third" Jin said with a gasp

"Whoever they are theyre in trouble" Fin said bluntly while turning to Jin "Jin do you mind running to get the medic? I have to stay with them and they can't move" he gestured to their shivering crying forms.

"Are they dying?" Lily managed to wheeze out between sobs of pain

"No, this isnt direct, its just an- oh right" he nearly forgot that Lily watched her parents killed in a similar way "Lily, trust me, the third in the trio is not dying, they're being hurt, but they aren't dying"

Lily nodded, the pain lasted for a good 20 minutes before slowly dying down and feeling like it was being treated on all ends.

[Flashback over]

Katara gave a small frown "I wonder what happened to him"

"Ill tell you if you help me sit up" Kurt said with a small cough. Sokka who had been sitting near him but was lost in a map with Zuko looked up

"Oh, the munchkin awakens!"

"The... what?" Kurt laughed out

"Ignore him, he's stupid sometimes" Katara said as she helped Kurt sit up and put a pillow behind his back. "How did you get burned if you dont mind me asking?

Kurt gave a sigh and looked to Sokka and Zuko "well, honestly its probably a similar story to mr princey over there"

Zuko tensed "how do you know who I am... and you don't know how I got this"

"I do" Aang said with his hand raised "well, kinda, I think it was your da- mphf!" Zuko shut Aang up with his hands on his mouth

"Shut up, now is not about me or how I got my scar, its about short stack over there"

"Shortstack!? Okay, now that was just rude. But I got this burn from my dad, he wasn't great and had no position to even justify his abuse against me and my mom." He brought his hand to his necklace with a small frown

"He caught me hanging out by a small pond with an earth boy named Haru and was convinced I was a traitor for doing so. He lectured be when he got me home by slamming me against the door and burning me"

he looked up to Tarren and Lily "I didn't tell you, and I always hid my scar because I'm scared hes going to find me again, after he left for the war my mom fell ill and died, so I ran away to my Pappy and he's sick right now so I don't know how long I have with his protection." He gave a sigh "I dont want him to find me and know that you two are my soulmates because he'll hurt you to get to me. And I cant let you get hurt..."

Lily put her hand on her chest with a frown "I'm sorry Kurt, I had no idea. But now that we know I hope you understand we won't let anyone hurt you or us."

"And that includes me" Fin said from the doorway "you've got two master earthbenders and a vigilante assassin on your side now"

"Woah, woah, vigilante assassin?" Toph piped up "Lily is an assassin!? That's so cool!" She marched right up to her and jabbed her finger in her direction "I dont know you too much but I do know that I like you!"

Lily flushed a bright red and rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly "hah, thanks? Wait are you a beifong?"

"Sure am!"

"I didnt know the beifongs had a daughter, let alone a daughter teaching the avatar earthbending" Lily said with a smile

"Yeah, well they didn't think I was strong enough because I cant read" Toph gave a shrug

"I could teach you sometime" Lily offered

"Im blind missy" Toph said with a cackle

"I know" Lily giggled "We have Braille books, I can teach you to read braille if you want to"

"Braille?"

"Instead of ink on the pages there are raised dots in patterns to make the letters, numbers and words, Fin and his wife managed to invent it ten years ago because Fin's best friend is blind and he wanted to send him letters, but it isn't too popular yet sadly"

Toph stood there for a moment before saying anything "wait... are you telling me there's a way I can read?"

"Yeah! Its more commonly on paper but Tarren and Fin use earthbending to write it out much faster on stone tablets, its much less wasteful. But for nonbenders like myself thats not really an option, so I write with the paper and the pressing tools."

Sokka piped into the conversation with a quick jump to his feet "can you teach me too? I want to know how to write in a way that she can read" he had a determined look on his face and sound in his voice that caught everyone off guard

"I... didnt realize you cared?" Katara said with a confused look

"Of course I care Katara! I probably care too much sometimes, I care about every single one of you," he looked around "did... did you really think I didnt care?"

Aang looked at Katara and then at Sokka "she probably only thought that because you show care differently than her, I know you care, I mean you've managed to keep us all together and solve our problems, youre a uh... solve it kinda care... if thats a type"

Everyone looked at Aang befote Lily gave a small laugh "you sound like Fin, he's really caring for sure but you have to understand him to notice his love language." Lily paused "but teaching you both will take a while, even just teaching Toph here, who I assume has never been taught anything about letters and words on pages. I'm guessing you lot are traveling to stop the war?"

"You bet!" Aang said with a cheeky grin

"Well you could easily travel with them and teach them all, you and Tarren both" Kurt suggested

"Im not going anywhere without you" Lily said whil jabbing a finger towards him and leaning down close to him "I promised to protect you, and I will"

"Then how about you all come with us! We can all learn braille! I mean I'm already teaching Aang waterbending, Toph is teaching Aang earthbending. And hopefully Zuko and Iroh will teach him firebending so a new writing language should be good for all of us!" Katara said with excitement clear in her voice

It only took a bit of convincing to have Kurt join but it took a good 20 minutes worth of convincing Fin to let Tarren and Lily travel around while Fin ran the library with the help of Jin who stepped up to take over the pairs roles in the library.

But before leaving Lily showed Sokka the braille pressing tools so he could get a quick idea of the way they worked before packing up a good amount of paper and tools so she could teach them. On the road. Tarren would help Toph with hers for stone given they're both earthbenders.

Once they started packing up their own belongings Toph walked into Lily's room with a small knock "hey, you almost ready petty steps?"

"Pretty steps? Uh, yeah I just have to find a good place to put this" she moved her hand a bit with a wooden mask facing up

"What is that?"

"Its my assassin mask, its got a white base, think warm wind. Two black marks, think of cold night ponds stretching from the side tips of her nose, above the brow bone and getting much thicker before going up and becoming two horns. The eye holes and the lips are both dark red, think of the warmth of a summer evening sunset."

Toph stood in the doorway "I didnt need the description but that kind of makes colors interesting"

"Really?"

"No"

The two laughed at the bluntness but then Lily shrugged "I guess your right, I didnt need to describe it, but I wanted to anyways" she held the mask for a second before packing it away "it's from my sisters favorite spirit fable. 'Lady of the sunset pond' she had my mama read it to us every night" Lily reached to her necklace and held the roght ash stone.

"Sounds like they hold a special place to you"

"Yeah, they do"

"What happened to them?" Toph asked while leaning against the wall

"We don't have the time to unwrap another story today" Lily gave a small laugh while she set her bag down "besides I need to change before we go, can't leave in a work uniform you know, not really meant for traveling" she moved towards Toph and gave a small bow "thank you for accepting to learn braille from me"

Toph smiled shortly but then punched Lily's arm earning a confused 'ow' to which she responded "thats how I show affection"

"Ah, thats an interesting way to show it" Lily laughed "now I best be getting changed, mind stepping out? I know you see with earthbending, I've seen Tarren train without sight before so I can recognize it"

Toph laughed and stepped out "whatever Pretty steps"

Once everyone was changed and packed they all let on loading up Appa and preparing to fly to the next place. The ragtag group of 4 traumatized kids was suddenly a ragtag group of 8 traumatized kids and 2 wise old men traveling on a flying bison with a small mischievous lemur. What a busy two days huh?

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barbika1508 · 4 years ago

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Hiwaga (Vampire! Jeongguk x Reader)

Part 3

Words: 13,9k

Genre: Soulmate AU, Reincarnation AU, Enemies to Lovers, Action, Romance, Smut

Pairing: Vampire! Jeongguk x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Gore and Blood, Beheading - Violence, Fighting, Death

Summary: Life was good, playing out better than it has been ever before. My future was bright and full of promises and wishes coming to realization. All up until she showed up. She stormed though the front doors ruining everything along the way by her mere presence derailing my goals and purpose in life. A puny mortal, a child, a complete nuisance, and yet…The key to an unimaginable life, to the truth all along.

Author's note: Hiwaga – mystery; full of wonder Words in italics are dialogues or thoughts that Jeongguk reads from others. Dictionary is down bellow if anyone is interested by certian words Appearance of Monsta x, K.A.R.D., Got7

Jeongguk’s POV:

‘’Well isn’t this very ominous. Not a vibe.’’

A deep sigh follows ‘’Can you stop with the vibe meme thing?’’ curiously I glance towards Yoongi hyung who is for the first time actually looking annoyed by the human’s behaviour. I’ve always expected her to act as she is right now actually, having been laughing and joking around with Jimin and Hobi hyung not even 5 minutes ago, the three of them watching a comedy special. I did join them mid-way having gotten used to her less now bothersome laughter, that I think I can pick up on from anywhere in the house.

But this is the first time that hyung - who showed favouritism and defended her even when she was acting like a complete brat – is actually annoyed. Glancing at my brothers they’re all looking grim the situation demanding us all to behave accordingly and serious. But looking at the girl she keeps on a bright grin having arrived last – human’s bodies are useless, having to eat, sleep and go to bathrooms is just time consuming and at have inappropriate timings too.

She raises her hands up in surrender lips going into a thin line in an attempt to stop smiling.

I hold back the eyeroll in favour of focusing onto the meeting instead – and acting accordingly. I’m standing near the corner of the table, with Yoongi hyung standing on my left in the middle of it and Taehyung having staked claim to stand on his left side. Jin stands at the head of the table, the human opposite of him clearly missing the whole point as she loudly tugs out the heavy wooden chair having clearly underestimated its weight as it rattles against the ground loudly. She does have some decency and blushes but makes quick progress of sitting herself down, not making any extra noises after that. Across us are Hoseok hyung, Namjoon is in the middle with scrolls stacked before him and his notebook that’s scribbled to the brim it looks like. Jimin hyung is next to him standing relatively serious, hair looking brightly neon orange as he re-dyed it yesterday.

The table the last time I saw it was a chaotic mess of stacked books, papers and random things strewn around it like cups, scattered pencils and so on. The library reflected the chaos the last time I’ve helped Y/N moving things around, and sort of cleaned piles of books she’s gotten out carelessly…okay we’ve gotten preoccupied discussing Overwatch strategy, and talking about music and filming things in general. It was odd to find her interests being so similar to my own and her actual knowledge at some points that greatly preceded my knowledge.

Back to the matter at hand – the library was put back in place. I know it was dusted and whipped down as the smell of a wood cleaner is present and lingering in the air. The table has improved as well containing much less contents and miscellaneous items, while books and like I’ve mentioned some scrolls remain. But the topic of our sudden meeting is the purple and golden detailed piece of folded paper that has been placed in the middle of the table. It’s staring at us menacingly in a way.

‘’We’ve all been graciously invited to the Crown Prince’s ball, as you might have guessed yourselves from the bold invitation that was sent to us.’’ Jin hyung starts standing straight but has both hands placed onto the table ‘’Its due to happen in South Chungcheong Province. 3 days from now.’’

At the human’s obvious movement, my eyes almost automatically dart down as I watch her sort of crawl over the table, hand reaching for the letter. Nobody stops her to my surprise as she snatches it and backs into her seat, her lazy-like manner now gone as she sits straightened up eyebrows furrowed as her eyes dart over the paper, examining it all around.

‘’That’s a very short notice isn’t it? Unorthodox.’’ Hoseok murmurs standing with one arm crossed over his chest while the other resting atop of it, as he’s propping his head with his hand looking lost in thought.

‘’Doesn’t it usually take a week for the word to get out?’’ Jimin asks eyes focused on Taehyung who is nodding, and shifts onto his left foot.

‘’I’ve already asked around, but judging by the tone of the messages the lower tier covens and some individuals weren’t invited.’’ He explains the whole circumstance suspicious making my stomach churn which in usual settings wouldn’t be even a bother ‘’They laughed at the mere location when I mentioned it more to detail.’’

‘’Well they all have good reason to!’’ Jimin states ‘’It’s very unconventional of Wangja to organize anything in a smaller city as Nonsan is!’’

I simply nod in confirmation not having much to say about the matter. I’ve found it’s usually best to listen to Namjoon and Yoongi hyung who always know the ins and outs on any sort of manner. Crossing my arms, I shift on my legs out of habit to look more human than for convenience.

‘’The Prince has some ties to that province.’’ Namjoon hyung starts ‘’I’m sure he has bought out a business there, farms of strawberries or rice. But I doubt that’s the reason that he wants to brag about.’’ He looks at Yoongi hyung who has his eyes averted. I try following his eye line and at what he’s staring at – a pile of books? But as I narrow my eyes, I do get an inkling of which books he’s interested in. The golden one.

‘’Nonsan you say?’’ Y/N says for the first time in a while. She has slumped back into the chair, holding open the invitation one hand propped on the table the other one sort of wrapped around herself. Silly human, even though we’re going through summer in the midst of it, this mansion is big and luxurious, the marble providing coldness rather than containing heat. So, it can get cold for the human if she’s underdressed, the night providing more of the difference in temperature than day. And currently it is night-time.

‘’Modern equivalent of what used to be Deogeun and Hwangsan.’’ Yoongi speaks up gently, his eyes like a hawk watching the mortal, as she places the invitation onto the table atop of papers carelessly. She meets hyung’s eyes briefly, both of her hands sort of hugging herself, the white spotted blouse she has on clearly not providing enough heat. She’s sort of in a business attire today, the pants being grey-ish beige, meaning Taehyung must have dressed her. The particularness of the blouse is that her chest is sort of just there, two of the top buttons undone. Her collarbones nicely stand out, the golden necklace’s she’s wearing a perfect addiction to highlight her sun-kissed skin. The scars aren’t even bothersome, they just add something more to her. And unlike her usual pulled back hairstyle, she has actually put effort and has curled her hair, that fall over her shoulders nicely in waves.

‘’That’s oddly specific, history wise.’’ Hoseok is the first one to comment on their exchange, everyone starting to look between the two in confusion. Y/N sigh still looking unbothered frowning, as she fiddles with the edge of the book that’s closes to her. Something is bothering her.

‘’History buffs.’’ Yoongi replies ‘’Its why she’s here.’’ Everyone turns to look at him. But even as nerves are starting to eat at me, I can’t take my eyes away from her, noticing more details like the makeup which she put on. I kind of prefer her without it. Of course, the mascara lengthens her lashes, but the powder hides her natural tone and small imperfections that she has. Her lips do look plump the rosy nude lipstick making me think that she must taste like peaches for some reason.

‘’Yah Y/N-ah not only do you speak languages as in plural and many, you’re also learning our history as well?? Next thing you’re going to tell us you were a general in your previous life!’’ Hoseok jokes, prompting everyone to smirk, as they stare at her.

But the smile she puts on is fake and half-hearted. I’ve learned how to read though her facial expression rather easily, and how she can mask away her inner feelings which reflect on her heart beat, and breathing steadiness.

‘’You wish.’’ She mumbles almost awkwardly ‘’So the invitation…’’ she straightens up, goosebumps rising over her forearms ‘’…he wants me to come.’’ Her expression hardens like I haven’t seen before. She is sort of glaring at hyung in accusation.

‘’Yes, and that comes out of the question.’’ He immediately states crossing his arms, as I let my own fall to my sides, finger itching to the end of the bombard jacket I’ve put on earlier, wanting to try it out finally.

‘’I second that.’’ To I think everyone’s surprise Namjoon speaks up.

‘’Agreed.’’ Jin nods, staring seriously at the human girl.

‘’It’s not like he’s giving us the option.’’ She replies back almost through grinded teeth as she crosses her arms, hands briefly running up and down her biceps as to warm up.

‘’No Y/N-ah.’’ Yoongi persists, while I start to shrug off my jacket ‘’You do realize you’re a lamb wanting to walk straight into a pack of bloodsucking leeches, right?’’

Silently I had her the jacket, which she accepts without questions sparing me a glance. Her eyes seem to have hardened, lips in a thin line briefly softening once her gaze is on me. But she’s quick to sober up so to speak, slipping her arms into the too long sleeves.

‘’Not to be rude or anything, but where exactly am I as of right now?’’ she narrows her eyes at him. To everyone’s surprise Yoongi hyung growls, the action prompting me to take a step to the side towards her. It isn’t until a moment later when hyung’s red eyes find my own, that I realized what I’m doing.

‘’Its different Y/N-ah. We want to protect you, that’s not that hard to comprehend.’’ Jin speaks up as I continue and hold onto Yoongi’s glare ‘’It’s obvious he wants to take advantage…’’ he doesn’t directly say but we know he what he means and why exactly the prince wants her for himself ‘’…and we are not going to let him do that. He isn’t entitled to you or anyone. He isn’t even a member of the ancients for fuckssake he doesn’t have that much power.’’

As Yoongi’s gaze flicks away I turn to watch the human as she rolls up the sleeves until her hand peek out. Tugging the front together she sorts of disappears into the jacket, looking smaller and younger all of the sudden. Anger begins to crawl underneath my skin, at the mere thought of the prince having his way with her. Even if she knows how to fight with a sword, she is defenceless.

‘’He really doesn’t.’’ Taehyung starts standing with his hands in his pockets looking very serious and almost angry ‘’I can get the guards of the ancients to pay attention to this matter. Just need a few days, but in the mean time I’ll get you the best of the best to keep you safe…’’

She’s already shaking her head ‘’I’m not staying behind.’’ She says standing up, the chair that she pushes away making a gods awful noise of protest in the tension of the room ‘’And this is reason enough as to why I cannot, and most definitely won’t stay behind.’’ she grabs for the invitation and raises it up, her hand quick to grab for the lighter that was discharged on the table, next to the candle on the candle stand. Nobody stops her as she turns the lighter up hovering the flame over the corner of the fancy paper.

I simply blink a few times tilting my head, as I watch it not take aflame. Instead the purple starts to fade out, a mark making itself present to all of us. I’ve missed that completely earlier when scanning the page – sparing a glance to the others so have they.

Just as she’s done burning the page, Namjoon is at her side taking the paper gently from her delicate fingers. I don’t miss once she lets go of the lighter, she rubs her fingers together. Careless human.

‘’A lion with an open and closed book. Side by side.’’ I frown at the symbol not being familiar with it. Shouldn’t it be a tiger as they are a symbol of Korea? Why are lions making so many appearances?

‘’What does that mean?’’ Jimin asks right behind Namjoon, who is examining the invitation once more, making sure he’s looking at every inch of it.

‘’Lions? Aren’t they tied to Europe? Egypt? Iran?’’ Taehyung mumbles walking human speed over to the three while Hoseok’s gaze is fixated on Yoongi, who is glaring at the golden book, Jin hyung’s jaw set tight.

‘’Venice.’’ Y/N replies instead holding a defensive position as she has her arms crossed as well, looking indifferent at this whole situation ‘’A lion with an open book means peace. Closed means war. Its rather simple.’’

‘’Start a war or maintain peace.’’ Jin states gathering everyone’s attention back to him. He looks conflicted eyes darting from one to another ‘’If Y/N-ah doesn’t come, that means we’ll be engaging ourselves into a war. And if Y/N-ah does come…’’ he trails off nose scrunching up for a moment as he looks away.

‘’A spoil of war.’’ Yoongi speaks up finally voice low ‘’In either case.’’ He glances at me briefly but his eyes snap to Y/N. She’s actually pacing back and forth side to side, a spring to her step confusing me. She was all grim and serious a moment ago, that typical stubbornness she tends to show more often than not newly present – and now replaced with something that I can’t exactly put my finger on.

It has me itching to move, itching to just shake her. Shake everyone else. We are being blackmailed. Nobody dares to do that to our coven, to Jin hyung let alone Yoongi who is a well renowned elder a general, a fighter and great conqueror even.

‘’It’s not going to end like that.’’ Jimin says upset stepping back over to the table ‘’He won’t just outplay us like that! We’re better than these petty mind games and childish treats.’’ He snarls in the end, Tae at his side, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

‘’We’re not going to bow down that easily.’’ He confirms eyes for a moment flashing icy blue the motion showing how upset he really is.

‘’We can’t just defy him either.’’ Hoseok states angrily ‘’I don’t need to remind you what happened the last time, that prick didn’t get his way.’’

His words only spur my anger on, the helplessness that floods me for a moment enraging me as this whole situation has my lungs losing air. It’s suffocating. Not having entirely, the upper hand its odd – we’ve worked years to establish ourselves in the world and for others to leave us alone. Right now, all that hard work is toppling down. And all due to a mere human. She’s going to die in two decades either way! Why is everyone stressing out so much to protect her?! Why am I filled with so much dread, that it stops me from breathing, or moving at all as I feel like any wrong more, I’m going to cause a domino effect and cause it all to head to ruin.

Thinking about Hoseok words we’ve all heard the slaughter of the whole town that happened 60 years ago. The prince wanted a newly turned vampire girl that was supposedly destined to her maker. The Crescent Moon coven, was a strong one fit with warriors from the Joseon Dynasty – they were all ready to lie their lives down. And that’s exactly what happened. The prince a weakling himself armed with a measly ability of brief paralysis never gets his hands dirty – he bid other covens sister covens of the crescent moon coven to kill them all off. So, in the end he got his toy, and in the process a reputation that has even other covens on other continents hesitate.

‘’Well, with that lovely set of bad news, I’m gonna go get drunk. Who’s with me?’’ her voice is way too cheerful for the situation and the mess she’s in the centre of. I look at her incredulously as she lulls backwards clapping her hands once, the smile unfitting to rest over her softened features. Even though her eyes seem to remain stony her whole demander changes.

‘’Y/N-ah.’’ Yoongi mutters sounding exasperated and very tired, looking paler than usual as he looks at her in defeat.

‘’Hey, I know this is a lot right now, but I really don’t think that...’’ Jin hyung is cut short as she waves her hand in dismiss smirking.

‘’Oh, no, I was going to do it anyway. This just gives me a better excuse.’’ She replies cheerfully, her heart speeding up slightly, which she’s trying to mask by patting her thighs, as her hands keep moving around. She even winks as she glances at me. That’s what gets to me. All the dislike I’ve felt since she entered is back hitting me full force. This pesky mortal, this bug, this menace, this poor excuse of a human…

‘’Oh, so now you’re just going to go drink, are you?’’ I snap not holding myself back ‘’Drink away your sorrows and troubles, acting like a child instead of dealing with what seems to be your impending death?!’’ my voice rises in the end as I turn towards her properly ready to just…ugh!

‘’Jeongguk-ah.’’ I pick up on Namjoon’s voice which usually I’d listen to and turn to him but it’s too late. This is between me and her.

She simply stands there and blinks at me perplexed heart beat picking up in speed ‘’Aren’t you afraid mortal?’’ I step forward right into her space glaring down at her ‘’You want to die, don’t you? You are just asking for it? You hide behind your neatly crafted masks, talking so much but not saying anything that matters! Nobody can say that they know you, the real you as you keep avoiding questions and situations…who even are you?!’’ I laugh manically in a way gaze hardening as she glares at me ‘’You’re disregarding everyone right now, you are spitting in their faces and laughing in the process at us!’’

‘’Don’t…’’ she starts sound angry, her chest almost rumbling like a growl for moment, but I’m not sure as my chest feels inflated ready to burst from how angry I am.

‘’Every single one of them cares for you! They are trying to come up with a plan, a fucking plan to keep you away and safe while you flaunt yourself without a single care in the world! I can end it all right now!!!’’ before I can properly think it through my hand reaches out fingers curling around her throat without actually putting any pressure.

But my sudden action has everyone jumping towards us, ready to intervene – with a single thought and expansion of my mind they all stop in their tracks their angry thoughts filling my mind at first, before I silence them up ‘’Just say the word and I’ll end your pathetic life, that you are so happily wasting away without a care of the men that practically took you in as one of them. I dare you.’’

Throughout this whole exchange, since the moment my fingers came in contact with the warmth of her skin, she hasn’t even flinched. Not even as I forced her head higher bending it awkwardly meant to frighten her. She keeps glaring at me in defiance, breathing harsh as I’ve got a hold on her oxygen path but that’s just her body’s natural reaction rather than fear. There’s no fear in sight. Just matching anger that radiates right back at me, and something akin to hurt, that’s brewing behind the wetness that’s slowly but surely gathering across her lower eyelids.

That’s slightly unexpected in the fact that this is such a human response. Despite the brief hesitance that washes over me, I don’t loosen my hold making sure she has enough air to breathe semi-normally. He nostrils are flaring breathing sounding extra harsh in the silence surrounding us. Hyung’s remain like statues locked in place around us.

‘’Do it.’’ her words are brief monotone. I hesitate again not expecting this outcome and acceptance ‘’This is your go ahead, so do it Jeongguk-ssi! End my misery which you seem to know all about huh?’’ she bites in the end, the way she addresses me has me flinching again. The others have gotten used to the her informal friendly manner of addressing them while she keeps being so formal to me…when all I want is for her to be more comfortable with me…specially with me ‘’What are you waiting for?!?’’ she bellows hands coming up to grab at my wrist but not to move it away, but to tighten my hold on her ‘’DO IT THEN!!! END IT! Save yourself and your hyungs! You claim I don’t care, but this is its Golden boy.’’ She snarls ‘’This is me handing you all the reigns to solve this! I know that you’ve hated my guts from the moment I’ve walked in, so here’s your chance.’’ Her hold is minuscule compared to my own the tightening of her hand doesn’t do anything ‘’Do it.’’ she grinds through her teeth glaring at me looking completely pissed off and ready.

Every never in my body is on edge, every cell has come to a standstill at the last two words that she snarls. She’s being serious about this – she’s serious about dying. Her eyes as hard and cold – a complete contrast of the warmth that’s always there - legitimately frightening frankly. She looks like a completely different person…I don’t know this Y/N. It’s just so surreal that a look from a regular human as herself has me cowering almost.

She doesn’t falter as she simply waits for me there’s no flicker of anything on her expression or in her eyes. Humans are fickle creatures; they can be strong headed one moment and in the next they change their whole behaviour and point of thinking and attitude.

I’m completely startled and thrown off by her. The hurt that is spreading all over me is so foreign that I have no idea how to deal with it. How to deal with her. It hurts so much.

It’s not even anger anymore entirely - I despise her I know I do right now especially, the carelessness the obvious and easy acceptance of her faith her destiny…I hate her. I fucking hate her, don’t I? Why does it hurt so fucking much? My heart having been stopped all those year ago aches…feels like it’s going to burst. It gets overwhelming all of the sudden…her skin feels blazing hot.

I let go of her, taking half a step back as if she’s fire itself. Her body falters but only for a moment – she’s up on her feet posture straightened as a soldier almost, head rising up pridefully.

Her eyes are glossed over as she blinks and what breaks my heart further is them darting behind me. She looks towards Yoongi. But no tears leave or fall her down her cheeks no. Her breathing seems to calm down, heart still hammering against her chest, painfully sounding. She ends up nodding some sort of determination, washing over her.

‘’And I’m the pathetic one then huh?’’ it just feels like a punch to the gut the anger that starts to radiate of her. She takes a moment to glance around at hyungs that have remains the same, my control of them having shifted into subconsciousness. I’ve never achieved this before. ‘’I’m going whether you like it or not. The time has come.’’ She takes a step back hesitating briefly ‘’My time has come.’’ She mumbles more to herself, glancing away and back at me blinking away fallen tears but she’s quick to turn around and march outside, hitting the heavy wooden doors with more force than its necessary but also more force than a human can display, as both swing open with ease.

Maybe that’s just my mind playing tricks on me. We all listen to her march away, her footsteps echoing in the spacious corridor. I let go of my hold of the others, having to really concentrate and even close my eyes to figure out this newfound strength that seems to be awakening. Once I hear them start moving, the dryness of my throat that hits me isn’t unexpected.

Nobody says anything at all, as I pull myself together gathering the mess that others thoughts have left in my mind. Blindly stepping forward I reach for the pushed back chair and sit myself down on it, hand automatically reaching for my temples. I don’t have a headache per say, but it sure does feel like one, dull throbbing paired up with hunger.

The hurt still lingers, it lingers like a freshly cut wounds from a sword or from a whip. A painful reminder of my human life ghost over me, over my back but it brings back the memory of Y/N back. Fuck. Fuck!!! Why am I aching all over? Why is it so hurtful to even think about her? I can’t shake off the memory of her shouting, and screaming so desperately for something, or someone. It suddenly fills my mind, the sigh of her in terror, but also the relief and the way she said ‘my love’ as she looked straight at me.

My dead-unbeating heart aches, longs for something. Something I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. Maybe I felt it briefly with Na-yeon, but this is in a different way and thousand times more intense. More real. I can’t wrap my head around it what’s so ever, it doesn’t make sense. This anger, this hatred this pain this agony that has my knees shaking, and has me wanting to sob, and shout and scream. Just as I’m on the verge of doing so, hands settle over my knees.

‘’Jeongguk-ah.’’ Yoongi’s voice calls out softly ‘’Hey listen to me. Just focus on my voice okay.’’ he starts the notion, his position very similar to the time when he turned me. I was so confused and absolutely terrified with the burning, and blinding hunger that was taking over every part of my being. It’s almost as overwhelming as whatever this is now – the spiralling thoughts about the mortal won’t stop. The added images of her in armour, and her grins and cheers of my name make no sense. Did hyungs think about her like this?!

Dressed in a simpler dress running across a field of flowers? A flower crown on her head, brightening up her being? The image of her naked body, decorated with less scars but cuddled up to my own? The sight of tears of joy that spill from her eyes, as I find myself on my knees offering a humble looking golden ring?

‘’…you’re alright Jeonggukie, you’re alright. Nobody is mad at you okay? Just focus on me, I’m here like I always was and will be remember?’’ Hyung still continues to talk bringing memories back when he turned me, and how he helped me calm down.

I was such a hot head, wasn’t I? I still am just more focused on my actions. Specially since she came into our lives, wreaking havoc.

‘’In another life.” the declaration is full of sorrow, voice cracking at the end as tears spill and glint in the sun. It’s a very similar image to the way Y/N acted before walking away.

‘’In another life, things are going to work out with us. There won’t be duties nor any betrothed nor anything else to keep us apart.’’ The promise is meant wholeheartedly, even though the voice sounds faint as if losing battle.

‘’In another life’’ The echo was melancholy, full of emotion full of…of…

‘’Hey.’’ I didn’t even realize I opened my eyes until I realize I’m staring at Yoongi hyung, his eyes full of concern glowing brightly red as he stares at me frighten as well.

‘’Hey.’’ I sigh realizing that I’m half slumped forward. Looking up all the hyung’s are still in the room, none looking angry. They are relatively unmoving only Namjoon hyung listing through a thick red book.

‘’You alright there maknae?’’ Hoseok asks trying to put on a smile of reassurance, others doing the same. I simply blink a few times trying to see what book Namjoon is listing through but give up as I straighten and turn to Yoongi. He remains kneeling a moment further and then stands up, hands leaving from where he rested them on my knees.

‘’I think so.’’ I mumble glancing towards the doors.

‘’We might have an upper hand here boys.’’ its Jin that speaks up suddenly. Unlike others I can’t find it in myself to turn to him, but continue to stare at the ajar doors, trying to listen and pin point where the human went. It feels off not hearing her. I know she found a room at the very top of the mansion, a small quarter that belong to a maid previously – we can’t really hear here from here.

‘’That might actually work.’’ Namjoon says as I turn to the hyungs all huddled together next to Jin, that looks actually hopeful others slowly following suit ‘’We just need to figure and calculate the odds.’’

I’ve clearly missed a bit chunk of the conversation, rather focusing on locating the mortal. Some sort of panic rises in my lungs, my throat closing in at the lack of heart beat.

She left. Glancing towards Yoongi he’s already staring at me but with a softened expression Took a car and probably went for a drive. She’ll be back soon enough, I’ll send Jimin and Hoseok to keep an eye out. Don’t worry we’ll get her back safely.

I simply nod at his thoughts only slightly pushing down the panic. It’s weird. What occurred, and the words that were spoken and…it’s all just weird.

In another life huh. Those words bring an additional heaviness that settles, lodges itself into my soul…what’s left of it anyways.

*D-Day*

‘’Déjà vu much? Or is that just me?’’ I can hear the smirk in his tone. Sparing a glance to my right I watch as Yugyeom smirks cockily, clearly very amused by me.

‘’Hm, the song, or?’’ he chuckles shaking his head pushing me slightly playfully as he comes to a still at my side. I half laugh along with him, readjusting my posture keeping an eye out on the smaller ‘throne room’ the scenery unchanged as vampires keep on dancing. Of course, the ones higher in rank are mostly in the middle of the room whilst vampires as myself sort of bodyguards are positioned all around the spacious place. Seeing most of the Prince’s coven around has my nerves tingling uncomfortably. The positions they’ve chosen to stand in are very strategic – something that Namjoon hyung predicted impeccably.

‘’So, what do you recon my fine less handsome than me friend?’’ the question is expected. I glance over to the Prince’s people trying to see if anyone is interested in us. Remaining silent for a few extra moments, I focus on their thoughts finding out nothing but boredom and uninterest in most of what’s going on. Specially once the Prince’s laughter rings out the ballroom.

Something’s very wrong isn’t it?

‘’The usual. Anything caught your eye??’’ I reply out loud The prick has his eye on our human. My guess he called you just to rub it in our faces when he attempts to take her.

‘’That girl in the green dress. From Busan supposedly.’’ He wiggles his eyebrows annoyingly, putting on a boyish demander He’s testing JB-hyungs and our covens’ loyalty. He knows we’re close. He just wants theatrics doesn’t he.

‘’Hmmm. Decent.’’ Unimpressed I take the pointed-out girl in, spotting another red head dancing next to her ‘’Dibs on the Illsan chick.’’ I don’t know exactly what he wants, but he isn’t getting anything tonight. Specially not Y/N.

‘’The one in purple? Ah Jeongguk-ah have your standards fallen?’’ he’s quick to tease me placing one hand over my shoulder nudging me You’ve grown fond of her, haven’t you? What happened to you absolutely despising her guts my friend? Even though she’s rather very attractive for a mortal.

I hold back the growl that threatens to leave my throat at his mere thoughts, and quickly turning erotica images of Y/N ‘’What’s the issue is that you’ve raised your own too much.’’ I manage to stiffly say turning my head to glare at my friend, who raises his eyebrows in surprise and the narrows them, looking knowingly at me.

You like her. I immediately start glaring at him and his thoughts That’s very poetic sort of there Jeonggukie!

‘’Are you sure it’s me?’’ he adds out loud daring me on all of the sudden fully leaning onto me. I glare at him in anger, hating that he’s quick to read me even though he doesn’t have any mind related abilities, having been graced with an elemental ability of controlling the earth.

I do not like her! We’re not 5 you oaf! Ridiculous. Hyung’s have taken a liking to her, and it wouldn’t be fair to them to not stand on the same page it’s all. ‘’Judging by your ex-es I’m 100% sure.’’ I reply to which he feigns hurt stumbling a step back hand placed over where his heart is.

‘’Oh, you wound me brother. Wound me deep!’’ he ends up giggling peering at me with one eye closed the other peeking. I shake my head at his antics glancing around the room meeting Yoongi hyung’s eyes. Whatever makes you sleep better, as they say.

His amusement is annoying as he ends up gigging stepping closer to me again. I keep my mouth shut waiting for hyung to approach us, my eyes unwillingly shooting over to the loudmouth Prince that is shouting praise holding hands with a very clearly uncomfortable Y/N. To everyone else her mask is perfectly crafted the big grin reaching the sky, her eyes cutely crinkled, the blush fitting for a human look of innocence – to me I can see that she just wants to get away desperately.

‘’Hyung.’’ my best friends voice brings me out of my slight daze as Yoongi reaches us as well as Jaebeom, the leader of the White Moon 7 coven. I quickly greet him and bow down respectfully to which he simply smiles looking more relaxed that Yoongi who has kept a serious face all evening. It’s weird seeing and knowing that he’s nervous.

‘’It is nice of Wangseja to have invited us together once more. We don’t see each other enough as it is.’’ Jaebeom starts politely with a friendly smile on his face as he looks between me and Yoongi that finally cracks a smile.

‘’We should change that somewhat.’’ Looking at hyung I simply observe as the two older vampires start up a conversation with ease, completely distracted at the moment.

Jeongguk-ah are you there? ‘’Yes, very charming when he wants to be.’’ I’m left startled for a moment figuring that they are talking about me the two other chuckling quietly.

‘’Sorry.’’ I apologize out loud and in mind quick to set up a link between Yoongi and Jaebeom. Outside our own coven, Yugyeom and Jaebeom are the only ones that know about my ability. Everyone just assumes I’m stronger than the average vampire, and that is how Yoongi portrayed me ever since changing me, keeping my mental ability as a secret which turned out helpful in many situations.

‘’Where is your lady at? Surely you didn’t leave her at home.’’ Yoongi teases the younger leader, crossing his arms as he smirks eyeing the sudden shyness that Jaebeom portrays.

‘’Yes well, we’ve agreed for her to stay behind…’’

‘’Much to her dismay.’’ Yugyeom adds smirking earning himself a smack over his head flawlessly so may I add. I quickly spare a glance barely finding the human girl trapped between two chatty vampire ladies.

‘’…and take care of things at home in peace. Vampire royalty and gatherings as these aren’t really the right scene for her in my opinion. Politics can be draining, mortal or not.’’ my eyes remain on the human girl now standing at the side of the dancing vampires clapping along to the lively song, as others dance. A guy is talking to her, leaning in to close for comfort. But she’s not pushing him away.

Forcing myself to look away, I make work of focusing and expanding my mind; it’s hard to explain how my ability works its sort of like an expanding bubble sometimes – other times it’s like a bungee rope expanding and shrinking. Tonight, it’s a mix of both, as I make sure that whoever is paying attention to us or has at least a suspicion of anything - I slip a random thought into their brains averting them completely.

Glancing between the three vampires I set the link between our leaders trying to maintain the enclosed radius keeping guard of others thoughts while, I shield away their minds.

‘’…we’d be glad if you came over. I’m sure your human will get along with my beloved just fine.’’ The sentiment is genuine and welcoming, but I cannot say the same for the second ongoing conversation. As Yugyeom starts to explain on what renovations they did, I tune the outside world to out focusing on the conversation in my head.

…you can’t ask me that hyung. I blink in confusion at the strain that’s coming from Jaebeom.

I’m not. I wouldn’t ask that of anyone. But you will have to pick a side as a leader. Yoongi remains calm, face twisted in a gummy smile which is far from what’s boiling on the inside.

You know friendship wise…no brother wise I always have your back. I could never replay you for what you’ve done for us, for me… I glance past Jaebeom not wanting to be obvious, seeing the brief hurt on his features before he smooths it out with calmness as he adds in commentary correcting Yugyeom that continues to blabber providing the perfect coverup.

Jaebeom’s words have me curious. I know Yoongi knows his from way back…I mean he isn’t that old as a vampire but he’s old enough, and has been through things. I’m not surprised that Yoongi helped him, just at the gratitude that’s coming from the White Moons coven leader.

Friendship aside Jaebeom-ah you need to think what’s best for your coven. You’re the only one that can decide on it. You cannot ask neither Jinyoung neither Jackson on this. They will agree with you, with hesitance at first but your opinion matters in the end. I look at Yoongi whose own eyes skip and meet my own. Well there goes plan B sort of.

Like Yugyeom said previously that prick invited mostly people that are loyal to him – covens known to be cutthroat and eager to reach higher statues as quick as they can doing whatever the need to, to reach their goals. While they keep up appearances of wanting peace and good grace, everyone knows them. It’s why everyone leaves them alone and are befriending them. My friend’s coven makes sense as in added theatrics as well as drama and flare putting them in the position of choosing their loyalty. There’s of course our sort of sister clan from Busan named Kard. I know Namjoon secured their support just earlier having seen him convers Matthew. A big guy easily distinguished from the crowd, loud but generally friendly.

I’m not sure about the point of view from Monsta X as they call themselves. Nice dude’s but not sure why they were invited exactly. Maybe Jimin or Tae will work their magic on them.

Why so invested in her? Judging by the carefree nature… Jaebeom trails off gaze trailing over to Y/N. To my surprise she’s standing with the Shownu. He is known to be friendly as well on a human level nice despite looking like an absolute giant specially now standing before her in comparison. I know most humans wouldn’t dare approach him – neither some vampires.

I watch sort of entranced at the way Y/N smiles genuinely ending up in giggles, hand not really covering her mouth as most girls do.

Her dress tonight is more modern, still draped from her waist down but unlike her proud showing of her scars and skin the last time, this time the top does hug her curves precisely, but the boat neck cut prevents from showing extra skin. The colour doesn’t make her stand out being a dark navy blue, with golden detailing woven into the torso. Compared to other women here it’s rather simple at first glance. She has once more a cuff strapped to her bicep showing of her slightly more built figure. Hair pulled back, only a few curled-up strands are elegantly falling down.

She looks royal in a sense. She holds herself as one actually and not in an arrogant way. Her attitude is much calmer than it was back home…actually it’s been tamed since the argument from the library 3 days ago. Nobody expected for her to retract in on herself, barely speaking to anyone of us.

What hurts the most is her blatant ignorance for me. It stings like an open wound thinking about it. My main anger lies in her wish for death. She revealed much of herself – the wish for death not expected from any one of us. Maybe with the exception of Yoongi. It always brings a bitter taste to my mouth, sour uncomfortably at the thought of them together. Seeing her so cheerful across us spewing jokes making vampires thrice her age laugh is the perfect illusion isn’t it?

There’s always more than meets the eye. I can’t help but to say silently in the back of my mind. I feel both hyungs eyes on me, while I keep my own on her. The agitation like a small tidal wave begins its climb, masking my emotions with it. This is not the time nor place to rethink my past decisions, let alone hers and her actions. No weaknesses.

‘’A pleasure but I’m going to have to decline.’’ I pick out her voice though Yoongi mind. Just as I was about to back away from them let them talk more, she comes into the front. I think all of our eyes dart towards her standing near the opening that leads to the side and Japanese inspired garden that’s not at all anything to brag about.

I don’t recognize the vampire but judging by his posture which seems to be overbearing her and his sort of puffed out chest he’s clearly underestimating her and undermining.

‘’…just one dance, mortal. To show you how a real dance occurs, show you the magic of it.’’ que Yugyeom fake throwing up noises next to me.

‘’Who does he think he is?! Ugh.’’ My best friend adds sounding annoyed. I can feel Jaebeom’s eyes on me, but I keep staring at how the male vampire takes a closer step hand reaching out for Y/N’s hand her arms remaining at her sides, fingers fidgeting. Her right hand is bent where her sword would rest on her hip.

‘’I’ve been shown quite enough of magic that will last me my life time thank you sincerely for the offer but my answer is still no.’’ She shots him once more, bowing to him respectfully but half-heartedly taking a step back with the intention on clearly moving away, but he simply steps before her preventing her from leaving.

‘’You’ve never been with me, little lamb. Can’t say that until you try me.’’

I don’t even wait for hyung or anyone to give me permission. My body starts moving forward on its own as I avoid vampires moving around swiftly, hand reaching up grabbing onto the prick shoulder.

‘’Is this guy bothering you?’’ I find myself asking tugging him aback gently enough to dislodge him and break his bravado, as I stand sort of in between them acting as a shield to Y/N, her eyes darting to me. I put my hands together before me, squaring up my shoulder not being able to help myself but to up him puff my chest out a little bit. He’s leaner in posture than I am, and judging by the immediately brief snarl he’s an entitled brat.

‘’No, no, no.’’ Y/n shakes her head, her hand that wraps around my left would make my heart flutter up my throat if I were still alive, specially her proximity as she steps forward and stands next to me ‘’The gentleman was just politely asking for a dance in your absence it’s all.’’ her smile is Oscar worthy as she looks at me.

Barely composing himself he nods his head and puts on the fakest smile achievable ‘’Indeed, the lady looked lonely. Nobody should ever leave something as delicious looking all alone.’’ The comment has me narrowing my eyes, body tensing. The caresses coming from Y/N’s hand that’s running up and down my forearm do help.

‘’I’d suggest that you step away before I punch you in the face.’’ his cocky demander disappears, into one of shook and offense as she glares at me. Giving him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow he’s quick to start moving away without even properly bowing or anything. Glancing after him he’s running of to his sire, I’m sure.

‘’That was unnecessary.’’ Her comments irks me to no end from the get go as I turn down to look at the girl. She’s shorted than last time, not wearing any heels unusually so. She still tall enough to be able to reach my lips…hmm her lips do look nice too…snap out of it Jeongguk-ah!!! You hate her, right?!

‘’But very welcomed.’’ I simply blink at her baffled once more at the change in attitude from annoyed looking to a genuine smile which she offers looking up at me, still not having unhooked her hand from my own.

‘’So, I take it that you’re done with dances for the day?’’ I ask instead treading on what feels like a millimetre thin ice. Last time she paid me any mind it ended up bad. The ache returns of course, even though I thought to myself that I’m not going to let it get to me – with a single touch, I’m back at square one.

‘’Yes.’’ She half groans throwing her head back, the action childish as she closes her eyes briefly exposing her bare neck to my eye and my eyes only. It has my blood speeding up so to speak, the sight of her flawless neck so close to my hands offering such temptations…close to my mouth ‘’Done with dances forever.’’ The mumble follows which has me chuckling quietly again at the kid like reply. Straightening up I notice how her chest expands and deflates eyes taking her surroundings quickly ‘’Maybe one dance would hurt.’’

Her cheeks are quick to intensify in colour and warmth that she radiates, her hand that has come to a stop over my own suddenly lays there noticeable. Her fidgeting is back as she bends and stretches her fingers slowly.

‘’Is this your way of asking me to dance with you?’’ I ask grinning immediately completely enamoured for a moment at the sudden shyness that she’s portraying not meeting my gaze even though I’m standing right in front of her in her personal space.

‘’Bad idea huh? I’ll just go…’’

‘’No, no I accept.’’ I quickly interrupt her as she’s quick to let me go and untangle herself away. But it’s easy to capture for her hands, readjusting one over my shoulder and the keep a gentle held off her right one her fingers for a moment tapping against my hand. She looks up at me almost bright red, blinking sort of innocently as I lull us to the side trying her out more or less.

Her eyes remain firmly on my own feet easily following my movements, as I take charge and lead the dance, keeping us to the side but still in the circle of the ongoing dancers, music still being played by the live orchestra that’s situated on the other entrance of the mirroring garden. Cocky of that bastard to hire more musicians that we had. It’s the little details of pettiness.

‘’I’m surprised you’re not drinking tonight.’’ Instant regret!!!!!! I straight out start to shout at myself in my mind every curse word that I know of resurfacing and aimed at myself. What the fuck was this!!! I was given a chance to make things right and here I am fucking it all up asking her the one question that should never have left my mouth!!!

She hums instead shrugging her shoulders ‘’They supposedly bought the best of the best red wine for me. The label best doesn’t always mean or guarantee quality though.’’ I smirk at her quick dismissal of their pitiful efforts ‘’Besides red wine gives me acid reflux so that’s just a bummer.’’

I legitimately laugh at her predicament the genuine misery in her tone adding to it. She smacks her lips together portraying her detestation ‘’As lacking as our…’’ the last word goes unspoken masked with a slight cough as we both glance towards the Prince, that’s at the side chatting with his advisor vividly. The seriousness the older looking advisor has and calculating eyes ranking the vampires gives me all the bad vibes as Y/N would say. Twirling her around, I make effort to perfectly spin her out, and receive her back in my arms. The fond smile that has made itself present remains on, as I watch completely smitten by the share grace she effortlessly embodies, her dress floating along making it seem like she’s gliding along, moving in tune to me. Once I pull her in the second time, her dress gently brushes against my front, her arms arched in such a way as if she’s a professional dancer and has been doing this with me for years.

For a moment I’m left mesmerized as she easily picks up the pace and keeps up with me, body pressed tighter and closer to my own, the tuxedo I’ve got on feeling restricting after a while.

‘’I swear…’’ she starts and sighs sounding very annoyed out of the blue ‘’Firs the lack of beverages, then no functioning bathrooms, and the tip of the iceberg is the lack of Chrysaor. Aish.’’ She whispers the last part angrily almost looking at me pointedly.

Chrysaor is the name of her kopis, that she had to leave at the entrance. Even though others have weapons some as mere decorations on them, others just out of habit she wasn’t one of the very few guests that weren’t allowed to carry their weapons inside. To be fair someone had a spear, thinking it would make him look cooler than he is – it’s a fact because I’ve accidentally read his mind.

‘’I’m curious.’’ I speak up curiously watching as the annoyance disappears and she looks at me with an open expression easily maintaining her composure switching the steps up ‘’Why the Greek elements?’’ everyone has been wondering her relation to what seems to be a seemingly Greek background. But she never specified it, and upon certain situation she reacted completely differently, indication another proposition and notion of her belonging to other cultures. At one point, it was debated if she was from Canada. Another one someone placed her, to be Italian. I think Taehyung even propositioned that maybe she grew in Japan, as that’s another language which she showed in being extraordinarily fluent in a mere week ago.

Yoongi merely smiled at any of our questions, ignoring Jin’s persistent nature in finding out the truth as upon the first initial question of ‘Where is she exactly coming from?’ he was left puzzled, and realized that he forgot, and mixed it up in his head.

She snorts at my question I think having expected it at one point or another ‘’Its same if I’d ask you why are you so Korean?’’ she shoots back gaze piercing through me ‘’People could easily confuse you for something else with a different cultural background. Same can be applied to me I agree with you on that.’’ I glance away out of embracement and awkwardness at her rather defensive reply.

‘’But also, to answer your question, I do have lineage reaching years, centuries, millennia back to Greece. Like Yoongi has to the royal family.’’ It’s a well-known fact in our coven that Yoongi by birth right is actually higher up that Wangseja himself is. And I think other covens know this too, but due to hyungs blunt nature they are wise to back off and not engage into political games with him.

‘’You’ve done research about it?’’

A small smirk draws itself on her lips, face turning away to the left. For a moment she gets this faraway look, but then turns to look at me ‘’You could say that.’’ Before her answer can puzzle me further and raise more questions, she’s quick to return the favour ‘’What about you? Are you curious about your history, your ancestors, previous lives all that?’’

For the first time I feel as if her complete attention is on me, eyes unmoving having softened actually. Her heart remains steady, breathing having calmed down, and even her feet are lighter than before, sliding against the polished floor like a breeze ‘’Once upon a time, yes I was curious.’’ I find myself admitting looking in between us as the closeness we’re holding one another at, her hand feeling warm in my own ‘’But I didn’t get many answers.’’ due to the chandeliers above us, the light reflecting in her eyes resemble stars.

‘’Yes, humans do have a poor way of recording history. And have a reputation of destroying it as well as replacing it.’’ the curt laugh gives away the tinge of bitterness that’s she’s feeling about this matter.

But what’s intriguing is her wording. The way she keeps addressing humans as if she’s isn’t one herself. I know I must be overthinking, it’s probably nothing. She’s tired of her race as we are of our species at times when idiots poke their heads out into the sunlight – literally.

‘’Maybe one day I’ll find out more. Yoongi lived through most of the history, and from what he’s been telling me about certain stories not much made it to the light of day.’’ Her smile widens at my words, body moving and moulding as I bend her over for a moment, following along the other dancers the difference between us that we are both half-ass-ing it sort of, the others seemingly putting effort. And yet the two of us are the ones most in tune with one another.

We fit like puzzle pieces in a sense, as she moves and I follow right on point, and with a slight nudge from me she’s already adapting just as I’d imagine it in my head. It feels right, how harmonious we actually are.

‘’I bet…’’ she quickly shuts up, as everyone goes quiet the music ending, claps suddenly rising in volume. Startled I look up around us, not even following along as everyone has turned towards the orchestra, fake smiles present. I quickly spot Taehyung and Jimin in the front, both with dancers of their own while Hoseok is hanging back with Namjoon. Yoongi is standing near Jaebeom still across the room, while Jin is somewhere in the middle.

I look at him in confusion feeling Y/N shift in my hands. Glancing down she offers a nod towards hyung, understanding whatever message he sent her whilst I wasn’t looking.

‘’Thank you for the dance Jeongguk-ah.’’ The thanks is unexpected along with the loveliest smile I’ve ever seen in my life. If I were still alive this would be the time when my heart would just jump out of my chest, and I’d be red head to toe. She called me Jeongguk-ah. Hehe.

‘’Ah your welcome, thank you.’’ I reply completely perplexed and awkward taking a step back still holding onto her hand as I bow down properly almost 90 degrees. She chuckles at what a dumbass I am, nodding her head simply hand leaving my own with hesitance. At least it feels like hesitance.

I put on a smile easily because it’s her, but maintaining it once she walks away is tricky. I can still feel her hand on my own, as it remains warm. Placing both hands before me I take a step back, my intention is to back away and sink into the ground, from how dumb I am.

How does she have such a big impact on me? A fucking smile has my knees weak and wobbly.

You are totally into her, pfff what a softie!!! instead of sparing my best friend a glare I look back into the crowd completely ignoring the Prince as he begins another speech addressing everyone, probably ready to close the night off by bringing in humans. Maybe that’s why Jin hyung got Y/N’s attention, wanting to get her out. She shouldn’t see this ever. Or be a part of it!

‘’Ah JK, JK, you won’t even look at me.’’ Yugyeom states disappointed immediately after ending up chuckling clearly amused by my predicament.

Just making sure she’s safe that’s all I reply back frowning to myself, as her back is turned to me. But judging by Jin hyungs agitated expression something must be happening ‘’I’ve seen your ugly mug enough already.’’ I reply back looking around the room, noticing the lack of “guards”. The area near the main entrance is sort of empty.

Aha that’s what they all say. That’s what Jaebeom hyung said too for his mate I raise my eyebrow turning to him briefly the word mate suddenly ringing in my head. Mate.

‘’Oh, what’s happening?’’ just as he asks that and I tug my mind back from going into overdrive at an inkling I get in my gut, the lights get suddenly cut off. Some ladies even though are vampires do shout out like humans do in their horror movies. What’s surprising is that most of the chandeliers were lighted up by candles. As far as Namjoon’s hyung research went the Prince had a wind manipulator in his guard.

I immediately look towards the centre of the room air getting sucked out of my throat as the boulder of nerves that makes itself present once more with full force sinks his claws more into me. As people shift around, I completely lose sight of her in the crowd barely picking up on Jin hyungs purple hair. Before I can run after them, a hiss gets my attention a man dressed in the royal guard’s officer clothing raises his arms up holding a sword steadily between his hands.

There’s moonlight faintly shining inside enabling us to see enough not to be left completely blind. The advantages and disadvantages here are also that some vampires have better and worse night vision from one another. And they don’t call me Golden Maknae for nothing.

It’s easy to push Yugyeom away and take a step back intercepting a dagger in its wake of lodging itself into my heart. I’m met with glowing red eyes, as the man hisses mind screaming KILL loudly. He acts fact moving back and reaches forward again, the larger blade of the sword rendering a hinderance to his intent of cutting me, than the dagger he holds in his other hand the image of him cutting of my head with it very unrealistic. As I reach forward this time using his hesitance to my advantage I grab onto his forearms, and simply squeeze my ability coming through.

The scream he lets out is sort of a human habit, pain half reduced thanks to our genes. The scene is what gets to him more likely, bones sticking out as his forearms and limp hands sort of dangle, the crushed and bent shape of his forearms moulder to my fingers plainly creepy looking.

As his hands give out, the blades start falling down immediately. I headbutt him unnecessarily so yes, but it has him stumbling back while I kneel to pick up both blades before they can chatter to the ground.

And it’s just in time, as another man is suddenly at my right-side dagger inches away from the side of my throat. But it’s Yugyeom that pulls him back, the ground around us shaking. Nothing happens expect that the man’s neck cracks as my friend takes care of his previous attacker, who lays on the ground with a weirdly bent leg and neck. Turning to the fallen guard, the dagger in my hold mimics the image he had in his mind – it gets swiftly lodged in his chest instead of my own.

For a moment I want to leave it in, but decide against it switching the weapons in my hands, knowing I’ll do better with the Geom he wielded, dagger at the ready for extra damage or to deflect attacks.

The goal is simple really – get to Y/N. I bet my hyung’s are on the same thought as I am, but what fuels me is much deeper than they could ever understand.

It’s weird that the guards and the men fighting against us, let go most of the guests to run to the gardens as the entrance seems to be blocked completely. The colour of a blue dress gets my attention mid-way as I stare bewildered at the human girl cursing out loud not keeping quiet at all. She’s banging against the door, shouting ‘’GIVE ME BACK MY KOPIS YOU COWARDS!!!’’

I can’t even take a moment to shake my head at her, or call her out on it as a woman jumps onto my back, her hiss sending a cold shiver down my spine fangs close to ripping into me. This is what happens in war or in fights – you lose your focus for one second or stop moving and you are done for.

I half expect the blood curling scream that rings in my ears slightly painful only a second after. But the dead-beat weight and gurgling that follows is welcomed. Shaking my shoulders, she falls down, behind me hands tearing at and into her own throat, blood spilling from every nock and cranny of her face I’ll put it like that. Glancing up Yoongi offers a brief nod my way, as he moves to stand behind me. A cold shudder runs down my spine, the sight of him using his abilities rare for a reason.

Focus Jeongguk-ah focus

This is exactly why he has trained me for all those gruelling never-ending one on one hand combats lessons lasting years – they are paying off tremendously. Just not in a way I’d expected them to, having Y/N as my main priority to protect and not myself.

We need to get to Y/N hyung

I barely can focus on replying as I intercept more blades going our way, guards seemingly doubling number wise as well as individual attackers. Besides having a vague sense where my brothers are, I’m tremendously grateful for the handpicked friends that have chosen to fight by our sides, Jaebeom’s choice in standing with us, bringing warmth to my heart.

Upon punching and knock a man into a half dead state watching as he falls heavily to the ground, I turn up ready to lodge the dagger into the next asshole that is planning to stand in my way. I’m met with a composed fellow that has his tuxedo ripped and is breathing heavily as he glares at me with bright red eyes, fangs out. Isn’t he the leader of the newest clan with the unorthodox name? An orange hair man stumbles behind him confirms my thoughts, as I know Jooheon hyung, having met him through Namjoon and Hoseok. He’s the one that nods his head urging his leader forward.

Getting frustrated with the nonstop attacks, I’m tempted to just force everyone to a stop quick to rile myself up more by imaging Y/N – the memory of her smiling at me encourages me with ease. But the man that stands before me and grins cockily ready to fight, suddenly has his eyes rolling to the back of his head body crumbling on the ground, something bursting as blood splatters hit my trousers.

‘’Now is not the time Jeongguk-ah.’’ Yoongi growls ‘’You need to go get Y/N and get out of here.’’

For once I don’t hesitate or second guess his notion. Not that I ever did, but at some requests you have to stop and rethink things. But this time, I’m in sync body and mind. Making way for him, I move past Matthew who sends a wink my way continuing on to crush a guy’s skull with his bare hands, his second in command a grey-haired girl right next to him, pushing away another girl with ease.

I notice that the entrance has been busted open by force. Our library doors come to my mind briefly, wood splintered at the handles like back home. But these are much, much heavier doors than ours, this house having been a fortress and armoury a long time ago. Meaning the walls are thick, as well as the passages, and these doors included.

And yet someone managed it – what’s so shocking is that I’m the one that’s considered being one of the strongest vampires maybe in the world - and I know it myself that I’d have a great difficulty achieving whatever happened to the doors.

A shout of anger has me backing towards its direction voice falling quiet, but cuts and grunts persistent. Once I manage to get myself out of a noose that I find myself in with another girl that’s clearly on our side I do take the chance to look towards Y/N.

The lower part of her dress has ben sort of torn and half cut away, her bare feet peaking specially as she kicks a man very Spartan style, while her bronze blade glints magically almost in the cascading moonlight that’s peaking from the gardens, the huge open walls proving a disadvantage somewhat from the removed previous doors that guarded this room.

She’s standing rather close to our way out luckily and for all my doubt she looks like she’s holding perfectly fine on her own, the many bodies that are disintegrating into ash at her feet are a huge indication that she is no stranger to carnage as this one. She skilfully even more skilful than Yoongi or Hoseok hyung combined are, glides across the ground dodging the quickly paced attacks of what I know seem like blurred figures and movements to human eyes. And yet here she is intercepting every blow as if she’s one of us.

That’s not right. By logic she shouldn’t be able to see us move so quick, let along deflect fatal blows like that. A growl leaves from her lipstick stained lips, as she mercilessly cuts down another woman similar in height leaving her crying out in pain pushed harshly to the ground. I watch as Y/N moves her kopis as if it is an expansion of herself, easily across the woman’s head, cutting it clearly off. Her eyes lift up meeting my own in the massacre.

But it’s as if the cosmos slows down, and connects the pieces of a giant infinite puzzle that for the first time slots together into one.

Because her eyes…I’ve seen them before. I’ve admired them many, many times. In more serene times, and much bloodier than this.

‘’Duck!!!!!!’’ her shout is quick face turning into one of panic. I blindly follow her words, falling to my knee’s half turning back to see a rapier being thrust just above my head. Hand shooting up, I twist the guys own hand completely pulling his arm out of his socket as I turn and stand around lodging the dagger into one of his eyes. I’m not sure in which as I don’t bother making sure, Y/N being in danger bringing my own panic to the front.

Before my brain can process what’s happening, my body freezes tiny bits of shocks of electricity force my muscles to tighten up. I groan through my teeth, falling down onto my right knee as my body clamps up. The hold that’s on the juncture where my neck meets my throat is the strong, long nails digging into my skin but not piercing it.

I try to move immediately, despite my body wanting to curl in on itself I fight against it achieving no difference in the end as my body continuously gives out. I do manage so semi-successful tugs but nothing prominent, as I freeze up all the more, the static intensifying making me cry out as fuck this shit hurts.

‘’I’d advise you to stop dear.’’ The Prince’s voice is condescending. I try to get a look at him, but he has me in his grip in a way that forces me to stare forward, eyes darting around trying to find my hyungs – no one is in sight. Only Y/N that’s twisting and turning her blade which is lodged in a man’s chest, her hand holding him up somehow by his throat. I bet she’s responsible for the doors – but more importantly she lied didn’t she. The display of strength…

‘’Ah just when I was starting to have real fun.’’ Her voice is heavily sarcastic as she spares the Prince a glare, and then pushes the disintegrating body away, her blade remaining covered in fresh blood that she brings to hold on her side.

‘’Indeed fun. It was well worth hiring extra lackies for you to play around with.’’ The Prince brags happily almost ‘’Your reputation precedes you daimones. I hope you’ve been appeased by my gifts.’’

I stare at Y/N as she clicks her tongue looking very unamused as she swings her sword around for my guess a dramatic effect and examines it for a moment. She nods her head more to herself as she walks towards the middle of the room actually keeping her distance from us ‘’Wouldn’t call whatever you’ve presented necessarily gifts, Cheob.’’

The word she addresses him with, I think has not only me rising an eyebrow in interest. It’s a highly unusual insult to use on a male let along on him. She could have literally used any other name, or cuss word to degrade him and yet this one in particular seems to hold meaning.

‘’Now, now no need for immediate name calling. We’re all civil beings here.’’ He tries to approach this in a polite way not even denying her implication.

‘’Says the man that’s holding my protectee under his hand.’’ I stare at her with widened eyes. Protectee is a term I’ve heard from Jin hyung before when he explained about titles and some laws, we as vampires have. This word reaches out globally, and can have any creature stake a claim of protection to their own species or another one.

‘’Its only out of precaution, you can understand that from my point of view can you not, general L/N? Or should I follow in your footsteps and address you by your real titles huh?’’ she doesn’t even flinch at his teasing as I think he expected her too ‘’The famous Death bringer, Reign ender, Atlantean leviathan and the of course the most known one; the Ghost of Sparta. Just to list a few names ladies and gentlemen.’’ He cheers in the end, clearly wanting to clap but he’s currently preoccupied with having me paralyzed and hostage.

But even without his “help” in the matter of incapacitating me, I’d definitely have to take a moment to process this information as my mind starts running a thousand miles per hour. All of those titles…I’ve heard them. Some from games and the current pop culture, some from Namjoon hyung as his random discoveries during out years together took him around the whole world. He even took time to explain to me whenever I was curious about his studies. None of this makes sense. When I look at Y/N I can’t even begin to imagine her as either one of those things that the titles hold myths about.

‘’Should we add former protector of lowline vampires as well to that list?’’ the shout crawls up on me unexpectedly as his fingers dig into my flesh deeper, nails piercing skin blood quick to raise and start flowing from the open wounds. But that’s barely noticeable in regards of pain tolerance – what fucking gets me to tremble and shake is the amplified pain the electric current that seems to be frying off my nerves is entering my system directly. My body has barely time to heal itself before its being wounded. Besides all that to worry about, the sensation feeling and sort of state of mind fogginess is what creeps me out. Even if I wanted to read into his mind and stop him, right now it feels like it’s next to impossible to even attempt.

The asshole twists his fingers deeper masochistically forcing me to brace myself on my hands as my legs fold into a kneeling position. He keeps me upright enough head still twisted to the right, my neck exposed to anyone. He’s positioned me like a fucking dog, ready to have his head chopped off at any moment.

‘’Spare us the theatrics Cheob, you’ve lost your audiences and so-called loyal followers a while ago. Stop trying to gauge my interest.’’ She replies keeping up a relatively indifferent attitude.

It does cross my mind as things are now coming up to light that she might not even care about me, as much as I care about her. I might be considered a bystander her main goal being Yoongi. Maybe after all she really is involved with him romantically. She seriously might be doing this just because he’s my sire and my death would hurt him more.

‘’C c c, did old age bring you impatience darling daimones?’’ he doesn’t let himself get phased voice turning unnecessarily higher, my breathing remaining harsh due to the constant zaps and what feel like small wildfires spreading and crawling over every inch of me ‘’The night is relatively young. And we haven’t even brough snacks in yet.’’ I bet his grin is menacing – I bet the prick is trying to look intimidating for no good reason. The twitch in Y/N lips is evident to it, as she shifts from one foot to another, bringing her sword to her side properly, still lifted up pointing finger that’s situated on the blade tapping against the metal. She’s imitating her heart beat. Hmm.

‘’Might be Cheob.’’ She says eyes meeting my own for only a second ‘’And as much as we are both fans of drama and its twists and turns it would be very much so appreciated if you’d let go of my coven. Along with Jeongguk-ah first. I’m sure any favours you wish to get granted aren’t worth by killing yourself slowly by holding the youngling hostage hmm?’’

I’m surprised that she knows of his weakness. Even though his ability has been added to the unofficial A list, it comes with a huge downside to it – he’s draining himself as we speak, of his energy and life essence actually. As much as it is threatening the ability is deadly more so for himself.

‘’On the contrary my lovely daimones. You’re worth every drop of blood even if it’s my own at the moment.’’ His reply is way to cheerful, the eerie silence breaking at again an unwanted shout that turn into growling and hissing noises as I breathe heavily, my chest starting to burn. My teeth sharpen unnecessarily, senses somewhat focused, body detached from my mind. This isn’t good. Shit. He’s managing to keep my mind hazy and distracted, and with the onslaught to my body he’s achieving a dissociation to start occurring.

Again, heeding to his warning, my head on its own falls limply forward, the small amount of control that I did have now gone. Even my thinking capabilities are getting leaden ‘’See?’’ he cheers ‘’It is so fun to have the drama the flare, the pain!’’ he taunts shifting me his breath fanning over my exposed neck, as he must have knelt down ‘’To control ones prized possession as a mere rag doll, or dog to be completely frank with you.’’ He’s pissing me off for real now anger spiking over the pain that’s being delivered steadily ‘’And I know that you’ve been looking for him for over a thousand and more years, haven’t you?’’

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, watching as something drips down from my face staring at the first droplet of darker coloured blood as it hits the polished stone floor ‘’You’ve pointed out twists and turns earlier fittingly my lady.’’ He continues on grip starting to become agonizing, the mumbles uncontrollable as is the hiss coming from my chest. His grip shifts to the back of my hair, head being forced to turn upwards ‘’They are unexpected and completely breath taking, aren’t they?’’ his head is close to my own, probably grinning widely like the clown he is.

Opening my eyes narrowly I can see that Y/N is absolutely fuming on the inside, her eyes evidently ablaze in the darkness, rimmed with gold. Her body is at a complete standstill, chest barely moving even thought her heart and breathing are normally functioning. That’s good, that small fact eases my worry. Her posture is exactly the one Yoongi hyung has taught me to hold. Good.

‘’Does he even know sweet Y/N-ah? Opps Y/N-nim. He doesn’t does he?’’

Y/N tilts her head instead the motion sort of familiar as hyung’s have pointed out that I tend to do that whenever I’m confused. She’s not even close to being confused or lost at the moment. Her finger tapping against the metal is still present in the stillness.

‘’You know…’’ she starts intaking a breath calmly ‘’The nickname’s as fun as you find them, do hold a meaning to them Cheob. Yours not so much for yourself but I’ve made peace with my actions.’’ One side of her lips stretches up into a crooked smile, the glint in her eyes frightening as her face shifts into a menacing expression ‘’So are you really ready to test my already thin patience and challenge me Cheob?!’’ she pronounces the last word clearly, and slowly her taunting way more efficient than his one was.

Because of the brief silence that follows it seems as if she struck a nerve, murmurs starting but ending quickly, as my body wants to bend down and over. I start to uncontrollably shake, teeth cracking under the pressure of how tightly my jaw is pressed together. Besides the complete physical shut down, I use my last energy resorts from not calling out to her, or making any noises. Even if she doesn’t care I don’t want her worrying.

‘’Stop calling me that!’’ he snaps the exclaim sort of echoing around ‘’I am Taewang of the Three Kingdoms of Korea, and of the existing kingdom that is today!!! You will address me as such daimones! You are below me in stature and as a being! You will bow down and pledge your immortal life to serve me or face the consequences of your foolishness with the price of your soulmate’s head.’’

His shouting tirade isn’t as frightening as one might think it’d be. Of course, his words do send my blood to run faster, the following probably not promising anything good for Y/N or even my hyungs. If I were alone…I look up at Y/N that looks unphased still. But the smile she was sporting is gone. So is her more leisure position. She has straightened up perfectly, like a soldier, like a fighter with her core balanced, mind in tune. She is ready for anything. Even though her kopis has been put and hidden behind her, the tapping against the metal of the blade still remains.

Wait…wait…soulmate? What is he on about?!! Did I hear him right?

My body begins to buzz when her eyes dart down to me irises bleeding golden. I’m not entirely sure if the room gets brighter or if she has put on a sheet of glow around herself – but I can say for sure that she is absolutely gorgeous, her aura shining, being draped in gold.

‘’Touch him, further and I’ll chop of your tongue.’’ Her tone is rid of the scratchiness that it usually contains ‘’I haven’t made a promise in over a thousand of years but I’m promising you this parasite.’’ I can feel how the Prince tenses behind me hearing the undertone clear in her now more melodic and entrancing voice ‘’If you harm one more hair on his head, I will end you all. And I will do so smiling while I bathe in your blood.’’

The promise sends chills over me, but I’m at my ends here. For the first time since I’ve been turned, I can easily describe this abyss that I’m falling towards as sleepiness. I feel sleepy, on the edge of being pushed or simply blown and sent over the edge into the darkness that is encompassing my vision. The only thing keeping me present is the sort of angelic aura that radiates from Y/N.

I should be concern for myself, for the wellbeing of my hyungs that faintly I start to pick out their voices that seem to be shouting in the back of my mind. But she’s the thief of my attention, my whole meaning of existence. An entity bound to the earth.

‘’Get her!!!!!’’ the man behind me shouts, but it sounds like it’s coming from a bubble. This time as the agony just forces my body to succumb and give in the fight, healing coming to a full stop no shout or call ring out into eeriness that’s replaced with a tantrum of warlike cries.

My gut twists in worry, mind wanting to remain awake and get up and fight – but I’m just so tired. I don’t want to leave her alone.

‘’Jeongguk-ah, Agápi mou closer your eyes.’’ her voice reaches my ears like a sweet lullaby. I can taste sweetness from peaches, and citrus from another fruit on my tongue. My eyes fall closed for a moment – still seeing her eyes which are so beautiful and breath-taking as they focus solemnly onto me. Looking like molten gold, and blazing sun they look at me with gentleness and what’s most important – love. And wanting, and endearment, and, and…

That’s when my word gets consumed by nothingness.

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Final)

Dictionary: Taewang - meaning "Grandest of all Kings" Wangseja - Crown prince, the son of the king who appointed as heir to the throne. Kopis - a heavy knife with a forward-curving blade / the Ancient Greeks often used single-edged blades in warfare, as attested to by art and literature. Geom - is the generic term for "sword", but more specifically also refers to a shorter straight-blade, double-edged sword with a somewhat blunted tip Daimones - The word is derived from Proto-Indo-European *daimon "provider, divider (of fortunes or destinies)," from the root *da- "to divide". Daimons were possibly seen as the souls of men of the golden age acting as tutelary deities In Greek mythology, Chrysaor (English translation: "He who has a golden sword"), was the brother of the winged horse Pegasus Cheob /Korean/ - (in polygamous societies) a woman who lives with a man but has lower status than his wife or wives.

#jeon jungkook x reader #bts jeon jungkook #bts vampire #bts vampire au #yoongi vampire #jungkook x reader #BTS jungkook #bts jungguk #bts jeon jeongguk #jeongguk x reader #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts #bts romance

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nightwingshero · 4 years ago

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2-6 and 43-45 for 2 ocs of your choice! :D

Thank you hun!!! Have some Security Captain lore!

2. What is the color of your OC’s eyes/hair/skin?

Quinn’s hair is dirty blonde with darker roots, usually parted but can get a bit windswept (which only adds to his boyish charm). His eyes are a dark blue and super pretty, and he’s also caucasian.

Grayson has black hair, but he keeps it cut short so he doesn’t have to deal with it (can’t blame him for that). His eyes are icy blue, taking after his father (like Wren took after her mother). Gray is also caucasion.

3. How tall is your OC?

Quinn is 6′05 and always stands at full height, mostly because his posture is learned from his upbringing and the military.

Grayson is 6′01, he got his height mostly on his mother’s side--her father was rather tall (and his own father was about 5′10). Between him and Wren, he was definitely the sibling that won out on the height side of things.

4. What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

Answered here for Quinn.

Grayson’s glare. He’s comes across as cold and indifferent, definitely super dry humor, and he has a resting bitch face most of the time. He does have a scar along his neck from his not-so-legal endeavors when he was younger, so that’s rather noticeable. But mostly, it’s him looking like he’s pissed off or frustrated all the damn time.

5. What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

Quinn usually wears a sweater or a turtle neck (and when it’s too hot for that, a plain t shirt or button up does just fine) with a sheepskin bomber jacket. Jeans are usually his way to go, with very nice shoes like this (or shoes like these or these). On a special night, he’d wear a button up with a blazer, with nice dress paints or designer jeans.

Grayson is definitely a jean jacker or a hoodie kind of guy. He does sport a coat here and there, anything that has pockets because he’s shoving his hand in them often. He does plaid and just regular t-shirts, honestly he doesn’t really care what’s on them, and long sleeved shirts. He used to do the baggy pants for a while there, but not so much anymore, he uses those weird ribbon belts or some shit. Or he just gets the right size (get your shit together, Gray). He wears beanies from time to time, and just boots or converse, depending on what’s going on (most likely boots). On a special night? Probably just the closest thing he had to a button up and his not-so-ripped-and-dirty jeans with his nice pair of boots (they’re only a little worn).

6. What is one word you would use to describe your OC’s appearances?

For Quinn, I’d say either clean or sharp. Quinn normally looks rather sharp even when he isn’t. It’s a lot due to his confidence to be honest. He could be wearing rags and you would still feel underdressed (he wouldn’t do it on purpose though, I promise). He just seems very clean cut, and he still manages this somewhat after the Collapse, although I could say that’s where he looks more sharp--since most of his clothes aren’t like what he’d normally wear (a bit more of a rugged feel, I guess).

I would say plain. Like, Grayson doesn’t really care. Its just...normal stuff he throws on and goes about his day. Mostly a jacket and a shirt, with jeans and shoes. He was a thief for awhile there, standing out wasn’t something he intended on doing. It helped him to make as less of an impression as possible, and it worked. After the Collapse, its not so bad, but he’s sporting a cargo jacket and a shirt...still rather plain.

43. What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

Quinn is witty and charming! He loves to tease with dry humor from time to time, but it’s a front, mostly because he knows he can be intimidating. It makes people even more flustered (or annoyed). Sometimes you can’t tell he’s kidding when it should be obvious, so he’ll let you flounder a bit until you figure it out. A lot of the time, once you’ve figured it out, he’s already continued onto a different subject or has started talking to someone else (you bet he’s throwing you a knowing smile when you figure it out though).

Grayson...has a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor. You never see it coming, so people are too shocked to say something in return (because he’s just so damn quiet and people don’t expect him to have a sense of humor) or they burst out laughing, throwing something right back at him. Gray is actually rather easygoing, people just think he’s too angry to be fun.

44. What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

Disloyalty, dishonesty, and ignorance. He doesn’t care much for apathy or cowardice, either. Quinn is someone that values core things in people, and when you commit to something, he expects that commitment. He also firmly believes that someone should believe in something. Not religiously, just...as a human. You should believe in something, whether that’s yourself, your people, a higher power, anything. He doesn’t understand people who don’t have really anything that motivates them. He also doesn’t appreciate judging a book by its cover. He’s been assumed to be just a trust fund pretty boy, when that’s so far from the truth. Quinn also firmly believes that if you want a fight, you put your money where your mouth is. He doesn’t react well to hostage situations after the Collapse, it makes him burn hot over it.

Grayson hates it when he’s not taken seriously, when you lie, and when you betray your people (kinda along the same lines as Quinn). He’s very much a fighter, if you’re going to throw down, then throw the fuck down. But don’t talk shit and then do nothing. He can’t stand people that talk a big talk, but doesn’t walk the walk. If he can’t respect you, he doesn’t like you. He also hates being judged on his past, people just assuming because he was a criminal it automatically makes him a bad person. He also can’t stand people with power that throw it around and hurt other people. That will get you shot real fast. Gray also can’t stand being led on by anything. He can handle the truth. You want him to be bait, then you say that. Don’t lead him to believe something its not, he can handle the truth of it, and would probably agree to it. Just be upfront.

45. What are some things that annoy your OC?

Quinn can’t stand mouth chewers or nail biters. It drives him up the damn wall. He grew up well-mannered, so it easily gets under his skin when that happens. Quinn is also not afraid to say something about it either, and can be passive aggressive from time to time if it continues to be an issue.

Grayson absolutely gets annoyed when people try to fill the silence with him. He values quiet time and doesn’t feel that there has to be noise or conversation going on constantly when two or more people are in a room. He’s comfortable with silence. So it gets on his nerves when people try to do small talk just for the sake of conversation without there being any weight or value to it.

#oc: quinn langdon #oc: grayson blake #far cry new dawn #my ocs #asks

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caffeinated-mendes · 4 years ago

Text

The Band - Shawn Mendes

masterlist

previous work

synopsis: you’re a talented drummer, needed by many tour agencies, and you’ve just gotten another job. this time, you’re on tour with shawn mendes, and it’s one of the best tours you’ve been on. but before you’re close to finishing, you start feeling like you’re something more than a bandmate to shawn.

a/n: hey everyone! it’s been a while. i took a break from writing to focus on my priorities, and now i’m getting back into it. i might upload only once every month or two, but this way, i’ll probably be more consistent and my content will be better and longer. as always, thank you for reading. much love <3

word count: 14.7 k

warnings: swearing, implied/referenced nsfw content

*if you prefer, you can read this on ao3 here

“Are you the new drummer?” You perk your head up from your shaking knee, shifting in the plastic chair you’re sat in. A woman is standing in front of you, seeming to be in her late twenties, and she looked very professional. Black pencil skirt and a navy blue blouse, and bleached hair slicked back with a clipboard in her hand.

You nod, “Yes, I was told to wait here.” You suddenly felt very underdressed next to her. She radiated confidence, and your distressed jeans and graphic tee were sub-par to say the least. Every audition you had you dressed up, but that was all you really dressed up for, save for parties.

She grins a welcoming smile, “Perfect. You’ll fit right in. Come and follow me so you can meet the boys.” Grateful for the warmness in her voice, you pass the many hallways of the studio Shawn and his band had rented out. It was nice, and a little off the grid, which you didn’t mind. “I’m Missy, by the way. My real name’s Margaret, but everyone just calls me Missy.”

“It’s nice to meet you, then, Missy.” You politely reply, because you’re still unsure even if she was nice to you. It was hard to warm up to new people, but when you jammed out on the drums, it felt like everything around you fell away, and you didn’t worry about looking vulnerable. Missy’s heels click on the tile of the studio, which turns to thudding as you enter the carpeted room. Black sound absorption panels line the room, and a fluorescent light shines above, illuminating the otherwise dim room.

Sat on an amp near a set of drums and a guitar rack was a short guy with dirty blonde hair gathered behind his neck. He wore athletic shorts and a muscle shirt, and gave off the vibe that he wouldn’t mind getting drunk with you any time you asked. He slapped on a shimmering black bass, and you were impressed at how well he played. You recognized a bassline from one of your favorite songs. “I love Flea,” you say, and he looks up, grinning an absolutely ridiculous smile. It didn’t match his appearance at all, and made him look dorky as ever. “It sounds great.” You gestured to his bass.

Missy turned to you, “This is Kit. He looks bulky but he won’t do you any harm, I promise.”

Kit sets his bass on the rack and walks up to you, taking your hand and kissing it, “M’lady.” His deep voice sets off a set of laughs between the two of you, “Pleased to meet your acquaintance. And yes, Flea is fucking amazing.”

You smile at his so eloquently-put sentence as another guy enters the room, this one much taller and leaner than Kit. “And this,” Missy turns to him, “Is Simon. He’s our guitarist-slash-vocal backup.” Simon grins, shaggy dark hair going into his eyes as he shakes your hand.

“I saw your audition video. You sound awesome,” He crosses his arms, “Let’s just hope Kit can keep up with you.”

“Shut up, dumbass,” Kit choruses from behind.

Simon smirks, “Shawn should be here any minute. He ran to get us some coffee. I hope you’re okay with cream.” He turns to the soundboard, fidgeting with a track on the monitor. Missy leaves silently, rubbing your arm in comfort before she goes.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” You look around the room. In the middle of the studio is a microphone with headphones hanging on the stand holding it. Next to it is a beautiful guitar: it has three bronze and three brass strings and dark-stained wood. To the left of the stand are your drums for the time being. They’re glossy and black with shining cymbals, and two drumsticks placed on the bass drum.

Kit picked up his bass again and revisited his spot on the amp, even when there was a perfectly good stool for him off the right of the microphone, “Go on,” He says to you, “Give it a go.” You inhaled and grabbed your set of drumsticks from your back pocket. They were special, a gift from your father, and you never wanted to be without them. They had little etchings at the bottom of each of the sticks, a little circle surrounding your initials. The stool underneath you creaked, and you moved the other pair of drumsticks to the ground. Simon smiles, watching you as you hit the pedal beneath you a few times, feeling the deep, booming sound resonate through your body.

You start slow, picking a moderate tempo, and as the seconds pass, you increase the complexity and the speed, feeling a rhythm that explains how you feel yourself right now. Nervous, but excited. Excited for the new adventure, excited for a new chapter, but scared that you won’t find happiness on this tour. It never happens, but it’s still a doubt in your mind. This doubt booms out from the beat, and the cymbals mimic your strangled heartbeat, mimic your unsureness in yourself and your abilities. You begin to move your body with the momentum of the beat, your hair flicking wildly around you as you lean back and forth, bracelets rattling on your wrist and your sneaker hitting the pedal with such intensity that the ending feels like the end of a firework show: it’s sudden, and dramatic, and so adrenaline-filled you feel like you’re coming out of a trance.

It’s silent for a moment, until you hear an unfamiliar cry going, “Yeah! Wooo!” and two other voices whooping and clapping. Looking up, you see someone standing against the closed door, grinning wildly. You exhale a breath of relief and get up from the stool, recognizing the figure. Shawn stood, his eyes glittering, his smile saying he was impressed. A set of coffees sat on the table next to him, dangerously close to the soundboard.

“That was fucking awesome!” Kit comes up to you and whips you around in a circle, setting you down with a crazy look in his eye. Normally, you would’ve been weirded out by that much contact with someone you met five minutes ago, but it felt normal and comfortable. “We’re never gonna let you go,” Kit said.

“Should I be scared?” You look and Shawn and Simon, pocketing your drumsticks again.

“I’m not sure, Kit gets attached,” Shawn replies, and walks up to you with his hand out, “I’m Shawn. I’m so glad we got you, I don’t know what I would’ve done without a drummer on this tour.” You shake his hand, and then put your hands in your pockets, rocking on your toes.

“I don’t know, but I’m glad I’m here too. I love traveling the world.” You look up at Shawn, his eyes not too far from yours. You were pleased to say you were taller than most people, but he still had a few inches over you. Shawn exhales softly, a small laugh, and you look at his curling brown hair falling onto his forehead, watching as he takes off his jacket and sets it on the desk chair in front of the soundboard.

Shawn hands you a cup of coffee and it warms your cold hands, a sign you were nervous. “Should we go through the setlist? We only have the studio for the rest of today.” Kit and Simon hum in agreement, and Shawn hands you a packet of sheet music.

You refuse it, swallowing the sip of coffee you took, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I got all the songs memorized by now. I wouldn’t want to slip up in concert. I have my own at home, anyway.”

He grins, “Perfect. Let’s start with Lost in Japan, yeah?” He directs the question to all of you as you both take your seats. From here, you can see all of them well. You knew you’d have to start to learn their mannerisms and they way the cued people in, Shawn especially, because you’d seen some guitar and drum solos in the setlist from the information they sent you. Simon moved to the keyboard off to the left of him, running through the melodic introduction to the song. You loved the intro, but loved it even more when the beat dropped and you came in with all your energy, feeling an amazing vibe from Kit’s bass, and every once in a while Shawn would look back at you to make sure you were alright, checking if you were feeling comfortable. You’d been with so many bands, but it never felt like this. Deep down, a tugging in your stomach told you that you had a feeling this was going to be one of the best years of your life.

The line for security was too long. It was the next morning, and you were stuck lugging your massive suitcase a few inches every few minutes because the Toronto airport didn’t know how to manage lines. It’s too early for this, you thought as you gazed out the huge windows lining the sleek airport. It was still dark, and your first stop was Dublin, so you had to leave before the crack of dawn to make your flight. You felt bad for the guys though, each of them having to carry an equally as large suitcase with their guitar cases. All of their cases looked the same: plastered with fragile stickers that were scratched and peeling at the edges. You scratched your head, feeling your loose ponytail. You may or may not have fallen asleep on the car ride there, resulting in your messy hair, and the boys may or may not have made a video of them scaring you awake once you arrived at the airport.

You tugged on your hoodie, pulling the strings nervously, and once you realized you were tapping your foot and playing with the hair tie on your wrist, you took out your earbuds to distract you from the commotion of the line ahead of you. A relaxed melody floated into your head as you put them in, and Shawn shifted in front of you, getting ready to go through the scanner. He turned to face you and the boys, watching as his security guards inched closer to the four of you. You felt bad for him sometimes, because even not knowing him well, you knew that it was hard for him to go places and have normal experiences.

The music settled your nerves a bit, your hand tapping your thigh to the beat of the song. “What are you listening to?” Shawn asks quietly. You handed him an earbud, and he leaned close to you, connected by the cord. You felt your heartbeat quicken, but you didn’t know why. It must’ve been the song, because it was getting louder as it reached the bridge. “I’ve never heard this song,” Shawn says, and you hand him your phone so he can look at what it’s called. “I like it, I think I’ll download their album so I can listen on the plane.”

The sides of your lips turn in a smile, and he mirrors your expression back to you. “If you’re sitting next to me we can always share.” Shawn takes out the earbud, and hands it back to you as the song ends.

“Okay, I think we will be because Kit and Simon like sitting next to each other. They say I snore.” Shawn nudges your shoulder, and you laugh, turning your gaze to the two of them behind you. They were messing with the sticker tags on their suitcases, unsure of how to straighten them out.

“I’m sure you don’t,” You replied, and looked at him. He had his head close to yours, and from there you could smell his shampoo. It smelled like mint, and the scent drifted away as Shawn was called through the metal detector. You suddenly began to feel hot, even though it was March and freezing in the airport. Controlling your breathing, you put your cold hands on your face and started to gain some more control over your heartbeat. What was wrong with you? You had already built up your immunity from so many world tours, and knew you would only catch something once or twice during the tour. Were you already feeling sick?

Simon pushed you along through the tunnel, into the plane. He hated standing still like you, and now that the boys had left their guitars, he had wanted to board as quickly as possible. It was fun to learn all the guys’ quirks. You knew Kit the best so far, just because he never really stopped talking. He loved talking about his life and weird experiences he’d had, and honestly, it was fitting because you were such opposites. You knew how he hated cheese with a passion and once threw up four times in a row after chugging a gallon of milk in thirty seconds. He was very entertaining, to say the least.

You knew Simon had a little sister back at home, and he was from Chicago, which explained the way he said his As. He’d been playing guitar since he was nine years old, and you could relate to him in that way because you started on drums from a young age, too. You had met some of Shawn’s friends that traveled along and of course, his manager, and every other important person that came on tour with you all, but you stayed close to the band. After all, you had known them a day longer than anyone else.

Shawn hadn’t told you much, but he didn’t need to. His friends had already told you some embarrassing things about him, and you knew you would get to know each other better as the tour progressed. You didn’t want to pry.

You boarded the plane, and got into your assigned seat. There were only two seats together because you were flying first class, and you were glad to have the extra leg room and space. Looking out the window, you saw that it began to rain pretty hard, so you already anticipated some bad turbulence going into the sky. Luggage carriers zoomed around the plane, and you watched as the sun began to peek through the horizon. It streaked the sky a bright orange, and made the clouds pink. It gave you a warm feeling that you only got when you saw the sunrise.

Shawn shuffled into the seat next you, snapping you out of your daydream. The lights shut off at that exact moment, making the inside of the plane glow blue at the ceiling, meaning passengers could sleep for a while before it got really bright. You could only see Shawn’s necklace sparkling as it escaped his hoodie, and some of his hair. Finally, your eyes began to adjust right as he got settled in. You pulled out your phone again and offered him an earbud. He took it with a smile. “What are we listening to?”

“My playlist. Prepared to be amazed at my exquisite music taste.”

“Will do.” He put it in his ear, shuffling to the right side of his seat so he wouldn’t accidentally pull it out of your ear. At that moment you felt a bump in your back, ripping it out of your ear anyway.

“Sorry, Sticks!” Kit poked his head over your seat, and you looked up at him.

“Sticks?” You questioned.

“Y’know, you have your own special drumsticks. I gotta find some nickname to call you by.” He grins his dopey grin as he sits back down.

“That’s a terrible nickname.” You call back.

He replies, “That’s why I’m keeping it, cause you don’t like it!” You could practically hear him smiling then. Shawn shakes his head, giggling with you.

At that point the plane began to turn around, ready to go on the runway. You clenched your fists, tapping them on your legs as the plane got faster and faster, and finally, you were pushed back into your seat as it began its ascent. No matter how many times you flew on a plane, you hated getting in and out of the sky. Your mind went to the darkest situations, and you terrified yourself every time with the smallest possibility that you wouldn’t make it to the ground safe.

You remembered your dad’s words to you when you were little. Whenever you would cry he would show you how to breathe. Holding onto your bracelets, you breathed in five seconds, held it, out five seconds. After your heart stopped racing, you looked out the window and completely ruined all the work you’d done. The plane was turning, but it looked like it was falling to you. Turbulence made it shake, quickening your heartbeat. You immediately shut your eyes.

A gentle tap went to your shoulder. You opened your eyes and looked at Shawn, who had concern plastered across his face, “Hey, are you okay?”

You gulped, “Yeah, I’m fine, I get a little panicky on planes. I’ll be fine once we’re above the clouds.” At that point, Shawn took your hand and squeezed it with both of his, warmth surging through. “What are you doing?”

“Pressure to the body helps people control anxiety, remind them that they’re there and okay, you know? Usually holding them works best because they’re soothing too, but-” he stopped himself, “Jeez, your hands are so cold.”

“Yeah, they get like that when I’m nervous.” You replied.

“Okay, just look at me. Don’t look at the windows.” His eyes met yours, and they never wavered. He began to breathe just like how your dad taught you, never letting go of your hand. He stopped after a minute or so. “There you go, now you’ll be okay. We’re above the clouds.”

“Thank you,” You said sympathetically. The music in your ears suddenly came back, and you realized you tuned it out before. Shawn began to rummage through his bag, taking out a case for glasses. He opened it, and put on the ugliest pair of glasses you had ever seen. They were big, orange tinted glasses that covered half his face. “What are those?” You asked, holding in laughter.

“What?” He looked at you like it was nothing out of the ordinary. “These? They help you sleep because of the orange lens.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Dublin came quicker than you expected. You must have fallen asleep on the flight, which was strange, since you never fell asleep on planes. You must’ve been mentally drained from take-off, you tell yourself. As expected, Shawn was fast asleep, adorning his orange glasses and your earbud still in his ear.

Once you grabbed your bag from the overhead compartment, you sped your way through the plane and the tunnel, trying desperately to move your legs. You could feel the pins and needles in your legs and the humid air filling your lungs as you entered the airport. Kit and Simon walked with you, one on both sides, and Shawn lagging behind, talking to his friend Connor. He seemed nice when you had met that same morning, but you didn’t talk much after that.

Driving from the airport, you never got used to the feeling of being somewhere new. The sky was a pale blue with clouds streaked across it and driving along the weathered roads with the sun-baked buildings was another experience. The air smelled cleaner, at least cleaner than Toronto, and looking out the window of the car you and the boys were driving in, you could see shops open for business lining the street, selling bouquets of flowers, books, pastries, and so many other enchanting things. A double decker bus passed you, crowded with people snapping photos. Children ran along the sidewalk playing with kites and eating ice cream. It seemed like a wonderful place to live.

The hotel you stayed at wasn’t big, but a medium-sized building with a few floors. Since you were the only girl besides Alessia (and she was sharing a room with one of her family members) you would get your own room. Missy had stayed in Toronto, telling you that she’d be there for the Asian leg of the tour. You were content with being with Alessia and the guys, though, because you often found ways to entertain yourself. You didn’t doubt that Kit wouldn’t be entertaining nonetheless.

Andrew, Shawn’s manager, handed all of you your keycards as you entered the lobby of the hotel. It looked nice; high ceilings, chandeliers, places to sit and a bar ready for anyone to sit at. All you wanted to do was sleep and the first concert wasn’t until tomorrow, so you took the first elevator and slipped out of the group as quietly as possible. When you unlocked your room, you were met with a queen bed, a bathroom, a small counter space, table with two chairs, a beautiful view from the window. White curtains blew from the wind that picked up in the room and your mouth watered at the smell of the bakery across the street. Setting your bag down, you began your mental hotel room checklist your mother ingrained into your head: check the mattress for bed bugs, take the top cover off because it’s never washed, put your suitcase in the closet, check inside and under all furniture for anything suspicious.

You sometimes wondered how your mother and father even married each other, and stayed together at that. They were such opposites. She was a control freak, obsessed with keeping things orderly the way she wanted. He was relaxed, ready for anything that came his way. You wondered how people saw you as when they first met you. You cast the thought aside and closed and locked the window. You changed into leggings and a big t-shirt and crawled into bed, feeling the stress of the day fade away as you sank into the mattress. Within seconds, you fell asleep.

A harsh knocking woke you up from your sleep, and for a second you sat disoriented, not remembering where you were. The sun was setting outside, the horizon glowing. Events from the day came back to you, and knocking kept coming from your door. “Hey, you up?” Someone called on the other side. Yawning, you padded over to it, opening the door and rubbing your eyes.

It was Shawn, and he looked at you, hair a mess from turning in your sleep and the big t-shirt you wore going to your thighs. “Uh, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come get dinner with everyone?” He scratched the back of his neck, looking at you. He had changed into a green long sleeved sweater and black jeans, looking very put together. His hair had been tamed a little more, still curly but not sticking up in places.

“Yeah, sure, and it’s no problem, I was tired. Are we having a rehearsal tonight?” You touched the bracelets on your wrist subconsciously, and took your hair out of its ponytail, releasing the tension from your scalp.

Shawn cleared his throat after looking at you strangely, “No, the hotel doesn’t have a drum set for you, so we can’t, but we’re gonna go down the street to a place Andrew reserved for us in about ten minutes.”

You nodded, “Alright, let me get dressed and I’ll be waiting in the lobby.” Shawn nodded, and turned to leave, but you caught his wrist. He looked back at you, hazel eyes boring into yours, “Hey, seriously though, thank you for helping me on the plane. I don’t like to tell people about that but it’s hard to hide it. Especially since you’re intuitive.”

“Thank you for the compliment, and hey, that’s what friends are for, right?” Shawn doesn’t take his wrist from your grasp, but you let it go.

“Well, technically, you’re my boss, so-”

“I don’t like that technicality. I want us to be friends. I want you to feel welcome with us, and I want to get to know you and the others to be your friends. So if that means helping you breathe every time we take off or have turbulence, I will gladly do that.” Shawn turns to leave again.

“You don’t even know yet if I work with you all on stage. How do you know I’ll get to stay?” You questioned.

He pressed the elevator button down the hall, to the right of you, “I have a feeling you will.” With that, he went inside the elevator and let the doors close on him.

You skipped and hopped along the cobbled streets of Dublin, laughing, looking up at the sky. As the breeze bit at your face and the moon looked back at you, you got a strange nostalgic feeling, a feeling that made you think you should remember this night forever. You and a few of Shawn’s friends had begun to walk away from the restaurant you had dinner at. Alessia, his special guest and opener, had begun to chat with you, and for a while you felt bad. Through all the commotion you didn’t even introduce yourself because you hadn’t even seen her, even though you knew all the drum parts to her songs. Her setlist was really fun to play.

Alessia ran along with you, a few of the others in tow. You had sparked some conversation about music, fashion, and new movies when you heard some folk music being played on the speakers at the bar across the road. Your feet moved in a rhythm, following a step pattern that you had been taught from folk dancers around the world. That was another thing you loved about touring: learning things from other cultures. “What are you doing?” Alessia asks, snickering as you dance along the pavement. Your sneakers tap the stone to the beat.

“Dancing. Folk dancing.” You turn to face her, dancing while moving backwards, “Come try.” Alessia smiles as you slow down the steps. She catches on fast, and soon enough you’re speeding it back to tempo. Suddenly your jacket isn’t needed as much, and you feel your face is flushed. Tying it around your waist, you see Alessia teaching Kit and Connor, and soon enough, all four of you are dancing, arms linked in a line. Andrew, Shawn, and the rest of the crew finally notice as they catch up to the four of you laughing, humming along to the song. Simon joins the line, asking, “What are we doing?”

“Having fun!” Kit screams back, whooping into the night sky. You see Shawn take a seat on one of the benches across from the five of you, him and everyone else clapping to the beat. He had a strange look on his face, and he wouldn’t break his gaze from you. Every time you laughed, you would sneak a look at him and see a tiny smile tug at his lips. It made you feel off-balance, in a way.

The song ends in no time, and you’re left with some energy spent, smoothing your messy hair down and tying a loose shoelace. A new song comes on, and you and Alessia begin twirling around the street, on your way back to the hotel. Shawn catches up to the two of you, face red from the cold. Alessia reaches out a hand, and her and Shawn begin to zoom in circles with locked arms, going fast with the momentum like a spinning top.

You remembered playing that game when you were little. You and your friends called it Twister. Alessia beckoned you over, and now the three of you became interlinked; Shawn’s cackling, leaning his head back in adrenaline as you scream to slow down. “I think that the rest of them think we’re acting like kids!” You grin, feeling your hair whip your face.

Shawn gasps out, nose and cheeks cherry red, “Who cares?”

“You’re on with Alessia in five,” a stage manager peeks into your’s and Alessia’s shared dressing room, and you nod at them, a mumble of okay in reply. You got nervous before going on stage, but it was more of the adrenaline making you unable to speak. The bright lights in the vanity in front of you shined, illuminating your face. You always did something fun with your makeup with each tour, and decided that this time, you’d do a bright color lining your eyes with some mascara. A bright blue lined your eyes this time, making them pop. Simple, but cool. The band usually had to wear darker clothes to emphasize Shawn and Alessia in front, which wasn’t a problem, so you sported some black sneakers, ripped jeans, denim jacket, and a gray tie-dyed shirt.

You’re tapping your drumsticks against your thighs as you lightly jog down the bright hall, near the band. People are gathered around in a huddle. “There she is!” Kit says, watching as you walk to the group.

“What’re we doing?” You ask, joining the huddle. You felt like a football player.

“It’s tradition. We say a speech, and then go on stage.” Simon tells you, putting a hand on your back. Alessia’s to the right of you, and Shawn’s opposite from you, watching you. You feel strange again, only for a second. Was he watching you because he wanted to see if you wouldn’t do well tonight? That was impossible, given what he’d said to you last night.

Alessia’s set left you feeling like you’d drank five coffees and then some more energy drinks, every nerve buzzing in your body. The crowd was wild; they knew all the words to her songs and she would occasionally run to you, singing her heart out while you returned the amazing feeling back, hearing your drums boom over the speakers. Sometimes you would see that the cameras panned on you, and you watched your flushed face, looking like you were completely in your element.

When she told the crowd to give it up for the band, Simon gave you a big thumbs up, reassurance that you were doing well. The first performance was always the hardest. The crowd’s screams roared through your ears, and they became deafening when Shawn appeared on stage, rising from the middle platform, smoke bathing him in the spotlights. You felt your stomach lurch in excitement, ready for the next two and a half hours, every single beat memorized in your fingertips.

Shawn starts with Lost in Japan, singing beautifully. His voice sounds buttery and warm, and you wait for your queue as he pauses before the beat for dramatic effect. You come in right on time, everything syncing together, and your body’s pulsing, moving with the beat. You’re sweating, but it’s the best feeling you’ve ever felt in your entire life. A few songs pass, and Shawn begins one of his covers, walking over to Kit as they assemble back to back, shredding solos. As the interlude progresses, you see Shawn walking to you, and you swear his gaze is something you’ve never seen before. It’s euphoric, his hair and face glistening, the lights shining so bright that it makes him hard to see until he’s right in front of you, leaning over your cymbals. You flick the drumstick in a circle, catching it as you crash onto the symbols. Shawn’s looking at you, and you feel like all that exists is the two of you. It’s like you’re connected: you know that you’re both feeding each other the best kind of energy you’ve ever felt.

It wasn’t that way with Alessia. Sure, it felt awesome, but this, this guy, this guy who looks absolutely perfect in every way is putting you in a trance and suddenly you come back to your body, him giving you a wink as he makes his way back to center stage. You try to control your breathing with the beat, feeling lightheaded. Soon enough, you focus back on your drums and you pretend like nothing’s happened. But you know, deep down in your stomach, something in you has changed.

Four Months Later

“Goddamn it, I had two yellows left!” Alessia screams, huffing in frustration and flopping back onto the pillows of your bed. You laugh maniacally, falling down next to her, ignoring the scattering Uno cards all over your coverlet. “I can’t believe we’ve been on tour since March, and it’s already July,” She mutters quietly, looking up at the popcorn ceiling.

“I know. It feels like it’s been my entire life but somehow went by so fast I didn’t even notice,” You say back. The two of you just finished a show, exhausted but glad you got to rest for a bit before you left. All of you were taking the bus tonight and you know you wouldn’t sleep very much. Your sleeping habits on planes and buses had not improved one bit since March.

“You wanna watch a movie tonight on the bus?” Alessia asks, sitting up to gather the cards. She picks one off your thigh, and you stretch your arms, your tank top making the Miami heat and humidity less miserable. Your hotel room still kept the moisture in, and if there was one thing you hated about Canada, it would be the humidity. It made you feel homesick, though, and you sigh as you feel your back stiffen.

“Yes, please, and Shawn asked if we could watch Far From Home,” You grinned at the thought of seeing MJ and Peter’s kiss on the Tower Bridge. You liked some romance if it involved Tom Holland.

Alessia groans, “How many times have you and Shawn watched Spiderman?” She snorts, “It feels endless. And you both can quote that movie word for word.”

“But you forget that we’ve watched the Andrew Garfield and Toby Maguire ones more. Now pick: confident and suave Spiderman, or cute, geeky, highschool Spiderman?”

“Cute geeky highschool Spiderman.” She responds, and all of a sudden there’s a knock at your door. Alessia gets up to answer it, but the door’s already swinging open, and Shawn struts in. He’s wearing a plain, black t-shirt and some gray sweatpants and his hair is wet from the shower. You feel a tugging in your stomach and ignore it.

He grins, “Did someone say Spiderman?” Alessia throws a pillow at him, and he falls back into the desk chair opposite the two of you, laughing.

“Unfortunately, and how did you even get in?” She responds, sitting up on the headboard of your bed.

“Kit stole your spare keycard so he could eat some of the German chocolate you have stashed in your backpack, and I caught him in the hallway before the show, so I came to return it now.” He gets up from the desk chair, and sits on the foot of the bed, handing it to you.

You grit your teeth, “I’m gonna kill him. I have been saving that for good reason, rationing it bit by bit. It’s not like you can get it back at home.” Alessia and Shawn respond in a chorus of giggles, looking at your angry face. “What? No one messes with my chocolate!”

It’s a few hours later, and you, Shawn and Alessia are crowded onto the long couch in the bus, letting the streetlamps and highways pass you by. Everyone else had left to go sleep, but you wanted to finish the movie and see the ending, even though you knew exactly what happened. You wore your warm, black sweatpants and the same tank top you had on before. Your hair tickled your back, but it felt good to release the tension from your scalp. You’d decided to put it up from the show tonight, an elegant, slicked back look. Shawn was off to the right of you, watching as Mysterio ‘saved’ the city from the ‘fire elemental.’ You hated him so much, feeling a little too attached to your Marvel characters. Alessia had begun to nod off, and finally was awoken when the bus hit a pothole. She groaned, “I need to sleep,” She pushed herself up off the couch, moving down the hallway into the bunks, “Goodnight, nerds.”

She always did that when you watched anything superhero-y. “Goodnight,” you and Shawn replied in unison.

Opening your phone, you scrolled through your Instagram, seeing all your mentions of the band in concert. There was a picture of you and Kit hugging, Alessia and you running across the stage together, and you and Shawn playing through your solo. “You always do so well on that part,” Shawn says, leaning into you and looking at your phone. You felt your cheeks flare up and cursed yourself. He looked stunning in the photo, as per usual. Curly hair a mess, and his shirt stuck to his body with sweat. “I loved that outfit you wore, too, it was so cool.” He added.

You looked at yourself and saw your lace, navy blue blouse, attached with interlacing straps, and flared black pants, paired with combat boots and your usual bracelets. Your slicked back ponytail was completed with the dangly earrings you wore. “Thanks,” you responded, “I try.” You can feel his shoulder touching yours, his knee brushing up against you. You scroll down a bit farther through the photos you’re tagged in, and see a picture of you and your dad. He posted it on your birthday. It was you and him backstage, a few years ago when you’d played your first tour. His hair and eyes were the same color as yours, and he always had a scruffy beard. You’re hugging him, and you remembered at that moment what he’d said to you. I love you, I’m so proud of the person you’ve become. Never stop doing what you love. Follow your heart, my love.

You smiled to yourself and began to miss him so much. He was probably at home, watching his favorite show on TV, mom sitting next to him on the couch, reading a book. “Who’s that?” Shawn asked. He looked at you, and you turned your head, watching as his eyes studied you.

“My dad. He’s the one who taught me to play the drums.” You fiddled with the bracelets on your wrist.

Shawn nods, “I’m guessing those bracelets you always wear are from him.” You looked down as he took your wrist, looking at three entangled together.

“The first one, the one with the bird on it,” It was brown, the engraved bird, silver, “That was his. It was his good luck charm. The second he got me on my fifteenth birthday, the one that’s the silver chain.” That one had your birthstone on it in the middle, “And the last, that was given to me when I graduated high school.” It was a braided black cord, and on it a charm silvery-black that was your first initial.

“They’re beautiful.” Shawn moves his fingers down from your arm, tracing your skin, and you shiver, “You’re beautiful.” His voice is soft, almost as if he’s scared for you to realize what he said, bottom lip quivering. His eyes never move away from you. It’s hard to see him, but the bus’s blue lights keep the room from being pitch black. You see his lips tug into a smile, and then he’s kissing you, and it’s like your body’s wired to respond to him. Kissing back, you move your fingers to the nape of his neck, twisting his hair into knots. You feel his hand settle on your waist, and he moves closer till you’re nearly on his lap. He smells like mint shampoo and his lips are soft. He teases you, licking your lip until you open your mouth, engulfing yourself in his touch.

You’re suddenly glad that you’re at the back of the bus, far from the driver and everyone sleeping. You pause for breath, looking at him. His eyes are sparkling, pupils blown out, and his lips and cheeks are flushed red. Your hair creates a curtain around your faces, and he plays with it, now that you’re settled on his lap. Feeling another wave of desire pulse through you, and you trace your fingers across his chest as he whines in response, but then you realize what’s happening, and your breath hitches, and you pull back, blood rushing to your face. “Wait, wait, we can’t do this. This isn’t right. I work with you.” You move off of him, getting up and standing.

Shawn grabs your hand, lightly. “What, no!” His voice is hushed, but still frantic, “It’s not like that. I’ve been feeling this for a while now, and every time I see you, it’s like I need you, I need you so-”

“-Shawn,” you say, and he stops, shutting his mouth and swallowing. He looks so good, and you feel your entire body wanting to go to him, but you knew it would end badly. You couldn’t have feelings. You shouldn’t. “This,” you waved your hands from you to Shawn, “We can’t do this.”

All of a sudden, he takes your hand and puts it on his chest. “Tell me,” he says, and you feel his heart pounding, “Tell me you don’t feel anything when I do this. Tell me,” He pulls you in, putting his hand on your waist. The bus shakes, but he’s there, holding you, “You don’t feel anything when I do this.” He’s leaning over you now, mouth right next to your ear, “When you feel my hand running along your back,” you shiver, your entire body stiff, “Or when you hear me say that all I think about is you. And when you’re around me, all I want is to hold you like this, and feel your hands in my hair, and listen to your laugh, and lean on you when we watch movies, and play music with you, and-”

You move his face from your side, and pull him in, kissing him again, and again, till you feel your lips swollen and your body pulsing, taking the feeling in one last time. Like that, it’s over, and you push away from him again, looking at his messy hair, curls strewn everywhere, and mutter, “I-I need to go to bed.” You can’t meet his eyes. His hands fall from your waist as you walk into the hallway, down to the bunks, every atom in your body protesting.

The next morning, you’re trying to busy your mind with anything you could possibly think of: memorizing the music for potential covers, reorganizing your suitcase; it was a flurry of meaningless tasks as you finally had to face soundcheck. Last night left you feeling lightheaded and warm inside, but when you thought about what was actually happening, that you had feelings for Shawn that he returned, your heart would pound and anxiety would creep into your chest.

It wasn’t right. What if you decided to be together and then two weeks later you’ve argued and broken up and then the band doesn’t work? You’d ruin the entire tour. Or what if you felt that same pain you knew all too well?

You're tugging at the peeling skin on your lips, trying to delay soundcheck as much as possible as you round through the twisting hallways of the stadium. Humming helps you clear your head a bit, but the instant you see Shawn you know you’ll be tripping over yourself trying to get to your drums. As if heaven itself was descended upon you, Alessia and Simon are walking towards you, coming from the stage entrance. “They’re almost ready,” Simon said, his face calm.

Wondering if your face looked the same way your mind would’ve, you nodded, replying, “Alright, let’s go. Did you still want to do that solo with me, A?” You force yourself to tug a smile onto your lips. Simon patted your shoulder as he moved down the hallway, probably to get Kit to stop raiding the catering rooms for food.

Praying that the drums would muffle the world around you, Alessia replied, “Yeah, and I was thinking that maybe I could bring you to the front with me to hit the soundbox for an acoustic version, because Shawn said-”

“I kissed Shawn last night,” You blurted right before you walked through the stage door. You could see Connor, Geoff, and a few others crowding around some cameras, and your skull was pounding. Everything you felt that you questioned yourself about felt like a blow to the head. Alessia looked at you, her face unsettlingly calm. “Say something,” You pleaded.

“Was it good?”

“What? Ask me anything but that! Tell me I’m horrible, tell me this is wrong, that I’ll ruin this for everyone!” You grabbed Alessia’s arms, shaking her wildly.

She began to smile. Smile. Why would she smile, of all things? “You guys are way more than friends, and you both know it,” Alessia assures. “You’re always teasing each other, you sit next to each other on planes and buses, and have you seen the way he looks at you on stage?”

“What do you mean?” You asked. Alessia pulled you to the side of the doorway, Shawn walking down by Connor.

“He looks back at you all the time on stage, and when he’s doing that solo with you, he’s facing only you on purpose. It’s like he doesn’t even remember anyone else is there.” She lovingly puts her hand on your arm, and you feel your stomach settling. “I’ve seen you on the plane, when you start to panic. He’s the only one who can calm you down, and you always make him feel better about being nervous up there.” She nods her head to the stage. “It’s only about what you want now.”

You groaned, turning your head to look at him. He was stiff all over, strumming his guitar as he sat on the edge of the stage. “I don’t know what I want. I have rules when it comes to tours. Relationships don’t end well.”

“Who’s relationship?” You jumped, turning to see Kit walk up, crumbs on his face.

You shrugged, “Oh, no one’s. I was just saying that usually band relationships don’t end well. I’ve seen one or two of ‘em.” You covered yourself, Alessia nodding. You didn’t actually know anyone who dated someone they worked with.

Kit scratches his chin, crumbs falling to the ground, “Well, my best friend’s mom ended up marrying the guy she was in a high school band with. They’re probably the happiest couple I’ve seen. Don’t ask me though,” He grinned, walking through the doorway and turning his head to face them, “I have commitment problems. See ya on stage, Sticks!”

You and Alessia rolled your eyes in unison. As he walked away from you, you looked at Shawn, who turned his head at the sound of your nickname. Alessia rubbed the small of your back, “I think he wants to talk to you,” she stated. You shook your head, ripping your eyes away from his stare. His eyes practically drowned you, his longing gaze making you feel dizzy. You were so fucked for him, and you didn’t have a clue what to do.

“Stay with me, A,” You practically whined like a five year old.

She shook her head, “I can’t do this for you,” She sounded like your mother, “If you tell him what you’re thinking, he’ll understand.”

You nodded and soon enough Alessia was gone, her laughing echoing through the arena. Shawn left his conversation, his friends’ eyes trailing after him as he approached you. He looked tired, devoid of sleep, and you felt guilt settle in the pit of your stomach. He lost sleep over you. It shouldn’t affect you, but you weren’t surprised by the same dark circles under your eyes this morning. He wore a plain white t-shirt, reasonable for the warm season, but now that you accepted your feelings for him, it was like you were seeing him differently this time. His eyes were prettier, body more graceful in the way he moved, and you could see every little detail that made him look perfect to you. “Hey,” was all he said.

His face seemed to be saying so much more, but you replied, “Hi.” God, you were so lame.

“We need to talk,” He said, fingers nearly touching yours where both your arms lay limp.

You nodded, watching his eyes shifting around your face as if he were trying to figure out a puzzle. “I know, it’s just that right now, I’m really confused, and I know that doesn’t make up for anything I did last night, but I just don’t know what I want.” You wanted to say you did, and everything in your heart that told you to kiss him right then and tell him you wanted him was chided at and locked away by your brain’s fears and doubts. You hadn’t realized that both your hands had met, and you were subconsciously running your thumb over the rings on his fingers.

Shawn was wordless, his mouth in a tight line. You watched as he inhaled, studying your intertwined hands, “I’ll wait for your answer,” He said it quietly, in the same way he had said that you were beautiful last night, unsure of what you were going to reply with. You began to open your mouth, but then someone cut you off.

“Yo, Sticks! Where are you?” Kit called from the stage, “Where is she, man?” You could hear Simon mumble an ‘I don’t know.’

“I should probably go.” You didn’t dare to meet his eyes.

He let go of your hand, palm still outstretched. “Yeah, probably.”

The soundcheck had run by with few hiccups, Shawn asking you to adjust your amp a few times and approving of the acoustic version of one of Alessia’s songs. He all asked it politely, as if nothing happened in the last twenty-four hours. The same went for the concert: the crowd was amazing, as per usual, and that solo that you had always done with Shawn felt like nothing but pure tension. He looked at you in a way that showed he was trying to restrain himself and you doubted you looked any different.

“Did he say anything else to you after the show?” Alessia asked from your bed. You had finally gotten a hotel room together, and it was nice to have her there and to keep your mind off things.

Wiping the pink eyeshadow and mascara lining your eyes, you muttered, “No, God, it’s like the worst feeling ever. It feels like he hates me, and he’s already so disconnected.” You threw your makeup wipe in the bathroom trash can, “He didn’t say a word, didn’t come to my dressing room like he always does. I feel like I’m losing him.” You glared at yourself in the mirror, steadying your body with two arms on the counter.

“Sweetheart, I’m sure he’s just as confused. Shawn needs some time to sort himself out, too.” You left the bathroom and joined her on the bed, groaning as you got under the covers.

“That’s the problem! He’s not confused. He knows what he wants and he told me he’d wait for my decision!” You aggressively turned to face her on your pillow.

Alessia turned herself to face you, the lamp behind her illuminating her outline, “What are you so scared of?” Her eyes were warm, and her hand ran up and down your arm.

“That I’ll ruin everything. What if we don’t work and then they’ll have to get a new band member because I messed it up?” Your eyes shifted from her to the threading of the covers.

Alessia sighed, “I know that can’t be all of it. What’re you hiding? Tell me.”

You knew the answer. It tugged at the back of your mind relentlessly. “I guess, I-I’m scared to love him. And for him to love me,” you replied, forcing yourself to accept it. You brought a hand up to your lip, tearing away at the skin. “I’ve been hurt before.”

Her mouth hinted at a smile, “Shawn would never hurt you. I know him, and I know that you’ve told me a little about your relationships, and you don’t need to tell me about them if you don’t want to.”

“I love you, A.” Your eyes began to flutter closed, the day’s exhaustion creeping up on you.

She shook you, making your eyes pop open, “I love you too. Now get out of my bed, you move around too much when you sleep.”

You had arrived home for two days, the tour coming to a stall for Shawn’s birthday. He had invited you to the party, and it had been the first time he’d spoken to you outside of a group for a few days. Now that you were safely home, you unsurely said that you would come, it being that you only lived twenty minutes away from him (you seriously wondered how you’d never played for him before).

Arriving home felt strange. It was too quiet. When you’d set your keys down, everything was silent save for the storm raging outside. Toronto was refusing to be sunny for the time being. There weren’t any of Kit’s jokes causing everyone to laugh hysterically or scold him, none of Simon’s practicing sounding through the room, Alessia’s humming and drumming on any surface she could find, and especially none of Shawn’s laughter. Even when it was awkward between you two, you could always hear it, warm and broad coming from the back of the bus, or in a practice room.

You had started to long for a pet, but you never wanted them to have to deal with your life of traveling. It might as well have belonged to your parents.

The first thing you did was raid the fridge for any food, and since you were gone for nearly five months, all you could see were bottles of ketchup and coffee creamer (which had definitely gone bad). Groaning, you pushed yourself away from the kitchen and grabbed your shoes from the front door, putting them on to walk down the block to your favorite pizza place.

The healthiness of tour always gave you terrible cravings for junk food, and you basked in the glory of eating it twenty-five minutes later and laying on your couch in a food coma. A show you watched three times already played in the background, familiar voices and dialogue comforting you.

Your parents were enjoying their retirement, and were off exploring the Mediterranean, so no one familiar to your life before tour had been available. It was hard to make friends when you were gone for most of the year, but you still had a few, all of which were busy the same weekend you were home.

Everything felt terrible.

It was like you were crashing from a months-long high, unsettled by old surroundings and the quiet. So, you did what you always did when you felt lonely, tired, and overall miserable. Slowly, you got up from the couch and moved to your room, opening the drawer on the right side of your desk. You grabbed your notebook, a faded gray color with your first initial embroidered on the top right side. Taking a pen from your desk, you began to write incoherent sentences, different thoughts strung together in a way that didn’t make sense. It was strange to be back at your desk. Oftentimes, you wrote there whenever you were home from tours. It felt nostalgic to you. As your mind began to focus on one subject, you wrote pages and pages, completely unaware of time passing you.

The night in the bus kept replaying in your head, and Alessia’s words to you, and Shawn’s face looking at you onstage. It was like all you could think of was him. Every time you tried to change the subject you wrote about, it rooted back to him. Frustrated, you squinted your eyes and rubbed them. It was dark in your room. You hadn’t even noticed that three hours had passed.

A forceful sigh left your lips. You got up from the chair, legs stiff and your head pounding. Moving to the bathroom connected to your room, you stepped into the shower, making the water scalding hot until it felt like your back was being burned.

You sat and curled your knees to your body, crouching down to the floor of the shower, head hung in between your legs. Your hair blocked all light from entering, and it was like you were sucked into a trance of the endless beating of water on your back. All that was left was the steady rhythm of your breath. None of the day’s -correction- month’s stresses came to mind, and for once, your head was clear.

Shawn’s condo was really nice. It was spacious and open, with modern accents here and there in every room. You liked more of a cozy vibe, but each space still looked pleasing to the eye. There were too many people to count: some familiar faces and most unfamiliar. Bodies clashed together, music blasting, and some people chatted in corners with drinks in their hands. Not one for drinking all too much, you spotted a cooler that had soda in it near the door to the balcony. Popping the can open, you looked out the glass door. From there you could see the skyline, stars twinkling in the familiar pattern you had memorized long ago.

Your eyes scanned the room for Alessia. She didn’t text you yet, which means she was probably caught in traffic. Being completely honest with yourself, you questioned why you even came to the party in the first place. It wasn’t cool for Shawn to see your face and you to blow him off again. You knew you shouldn’t string him along, but something beckoned you in the back of your mind that told you you should stay.

It seemed like every two seconds you bumped into someone as you arrived at the edge of the balcony, a glass fence keeping you from tripping over the edge. There were laughs and screams and singing, and bass reverberated through the floor, rattling in your feet. Your stomach clenched as you drank the sweet soda; it did not agree with your already nervous stomach. Setting it down on the ground, you returned to looking at the skyline, not bothering to search for anyone you knew.

“You made it.”

Looking at him just made your chest hurt even more. He was tipsy, you could tell from his blush and glazed-over eyes. Swallowing, you said softly, “Yeah.”

“Uh, d-you like the party?” His hair flopped in curls around his forehead as he gestured around himself.

You nodded, “Mm, yeah. It’s great.” You cleared your throat, an awkward pause ensuing.

“You know what? Okay, I’m just gonna tell you what’s on my mind because I’m a shitty person and a terrible bandmate and a whatever-other-adjective that connotes horrible friend,” Shawn stared at you, confused by your sudden flurry of words. “Continue?” You asked.

“Yeah, go ahead.” He gripped his drink in one hand and the other settled onto the ledge of the fence.

“Alright. So, I shouldn’t have let you kiss me on the bus.” Shawn opened his mouth, then closed it as you stared him down, “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to. Like, really bad. It’s just that I told myself after I dated a band member a long time ago that I would never do it again because it was the worst heartbreak of my life. And I can’t really talk about it right now.

“But then you were so nice to me and one of the best friends I’ve ever had and I hated ignoring you and avoiding you and doing all those things to keep myself from falling in love with you-” Your breath hitched as you realized what you just said. It didn’t imply you were falling in love with him, though. Shawn’s jaw clenched, but you further explained, “And you helped me on planes, and let me dump all my stresses onto you in the five months that we’ve known each other, and I feel like we can tell each other everything!

“And I’ve been writing songs! God, that’s one thing I’ve really done in my life. But it’s the only way to settle my thoughts and it keeps me from going insane. Because you, you make me go insane, Shawn.” You let out a deep breath, scared to see his face.

He was smiling, and it felt like you were on that stage with him again, or in the bus with him, watching Spider-Man while everyone groaned that it was the tenth time you did, or listening to music on the plane, or sharing a chocolate chip cookie that you had snuck onto the bus without Kit seeing. It was like the five months you had shared together had been encapsulated into one look on his face.

Suddenly, Shawn grabbed your hand, “Come with me, right now.” He pulled you through crowds of people, and you wondered where he could possibly be taking you. A tug gripped your stomach, unwilling to stop, your blood pumping to your ears. You didn’t know where the hallways of his place led to. Finally, he went through the kitchen and to the hallway, down to the last door in the dark space. His hand was warm in your cold one, chapped knuckles being smoothed down by his touch. He smelled like alcohol and the outside but you didn’t mind.

When he opened the door it was still dark, but as he shut it, he turned on the light inside, and you were mesmerized by his own tiny studio. A grand piano sat in the corner with mics hooked up next to it, and guitars lined the walls. A set of drums was close to you in the left corner. A desk on the right side held a computer and a soundboard. On a little wooden extension next to the desk lay a pile of notebooks, and Shawn led you to them, standing close to you as he handed you the second one under the pile of three. It was brown, with frayed edges and yellow pages on the inside. “Open to where the bookmark is,” He instructed. You pulled it out, it being the same color as the journal.

There, on the page was a messy script, cursive and so recognizable to you. You could read it, even through the rough erase marks and crossing outs on the page. Slowly, you started to read what the words said, formed into a song.

she’s here with me, and it’s like i can’t move

she’s next to me, and it’s like i can’t speak

she takes my hand, and i’ve awoken

but then when she leaves i feel broken

and i love the way she talks

and hate the way that she doesn’t want me to hear it

avoiding me and i have no idea why

because i just want to love her more than any other guy

drowning, drowning in everything she does

drowning, reaching just for her touch

and if she says one word

i’ll be breathing again

but without her, i question if i’ll feel this way about someone else again, and i know i can’t

“There’s a lot more,” Shawn said, and he was behind you now, watching you read his words from your shoulder. “You don’t have to read it all, though.”

You turned to him, inches away, his nose level with your eyes. “Why would you write this about me?” You set the book down on the table, looking back up from your shoes.

“Because,” He said, pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I’m in love with you. We’re not even anything, and here I am, telling you that I can’t stop writing about you either because I’m in love with you, and I feel like I have since that first night of tour.”

You were so close at this point, you could feel his breath when he sighed, moving his hands to your waist, unsure of his touch as they faltered along the hem of your jeans. It was like staring at him for eternity, looking into his amber eyes and feeling the hair on the nape of his neck. “Shawn, you’re not saying this all ‘cause you’ve drank, right?”

He laughed, surprised, “No, I’ve felt this forever. I think this was the catalyst, though,” He leaned his forehead against yours and shut his eyes. His eyelashes curled perfectly against his flushed face, dark brown on pink.

“Okay, good, because I think I want this.”

“You think?”

You nodded, “I know I do.”

That was enough for him to tighten his hold around you, pulling you in for a sweet, slow kiss. He tasted bitter, beer on his lips, but all you were focused on was the fact that he was here with you. He was here with you, and a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and suddenly you weren’t so afraid anymore. You weren’t scared that he would break your heart. Because if he did, it would be mutual, in the most sadistic way of thinking of it. But you didn’t concern yourself with those thoughts for any longer as he parted from you, lips swollen already.

“Shawn?” You said again.

“Yeah?” He repeated.

“Happy birthday.”

“Shawn!” You giggled as he pushed you into his hotel room, shutting the door behind him. His face was flushed, yours too as he kept one arm hooked around his waist, kissing a line up your neck to your lips, “Shawn, hey, we can’t do this right now, we have to go to dinner!” Another chorus of giggles followed as he began to kiss a spot that made you ticklish. You had gone back on the road and a few days had passed since Shawn’s birthday.

“Dinner can wait,” He said, his lips on your skin muffling his voice. He had changed into some sweats and a black hoodie quickly after the concert, but his hair still smelled salty from the show. You, on the other hand, hadn’t even changed. Your jacket and black boots were thrown on the floor, but you still wore the dark green tank top you had on and black flannel pants.

Shawn began to pull your ponytail loose, letting your hair cascade around you, and he brought his eyes to yours, moving you to the wall. “When will we tell them?” You asked Shawn, his pupils blown so much you could barely see his irises. The pause let you push a curl back off his forehead, your hand settling on his neck.

“I dunno, when do you feel like it?” He asked, “Because I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Let’s not take it too fast. Maybe another week?” You questioned, and he settled his hand on your waist, another on the wall behind you.

Shawn sighed, moving his mouth to your ear, whispering, “So we’re gonna sneak around? It’ll be our secret?” His breath was hot on your neck. You shivered.

“If you want it to be.”

“How exciting,” You could practically hear him smirk as he settled his lips back onto yours hotly. He groaned and you pushed him closer to you, almost tearing at his curls. Your face was burning now, and you could feel him push up against you painfully. In protest, he moved his face away from yours.

Your senses came back to you, overstimulated, “I should shower.”

Shawn nodded, “Okay. Let’s go.”

You rolled your eyes, moving your hand to his, “A little too eager, huh?”

He didn’t answer you and just wrapped his arm around the small of your back, bringing you to the wall adjacent to the bathroom, settling himself between your legs. You got lost in him, consumed by the salty scent and mint shampoo and the burning tongues and icy touches on your skin.

You heard the lock on his door begin to beep, and you jumped, his hand covering your mouth. It would’ve been attractive to you if you hadn’t considered the situation. “Hey!” Kit called from outside. “Can I come in?” The door began to crack open, and Shawn stretched his other hand to it, shutting it while one stayed on your lips.

“Um, no, I-I’m naked!” He replied, and your eyes widened at what he just implied.

“Oh, um, sorry man, didn’t mean to interrupt your momen-”

Shawn shook his head, ears turning pink, “Not like that! I’m gonna go into the shower!” His words came out of his mouth all at once, panicked.

Kit nervously laughed, “Ohh! Alright, well, we’re leaving for dinner in ten.”

“M’kay,” His hand moved off your mouth, and you pushed yourself off the wall, “I’ll be down soon.”

“Alright, I’ll go tell Sticks,” You could hear his footsteps sounding down the hall.

Your eyes widened, and you frantically thought of how you were gonna get there in time. You’d just go up the stairs, but it had to be fast. Shawn turned to you, “We’re not done with this,” He grinned, “‘Kay?”

You nodded, “I’ll make it up to you, promise,” and you felt a smile tug at your lips as you pecked his lips, grabbing your jacket and boots off the floor. You heard him laugh as you ran out the door in your socks, close to the stairway. Before you opened the door to the stairway, you saw him peeking his head out of his room.

“Fuck off.” You chuckled.

“What? I like looking at your backside.”

You rolled your eyes, flipping him off as you started to run up the stairway.

“You and Shawn seem good,” Alessia called from above you. You were in your bunk below her, a sleeping Simon and Kit opposite you. Both of you didn’t sleep well on the bus and often ended up talking. Shawn was in the back in his room, probably waiting for him to text you.

You moved on your back so you could see her peeking head in the blue-lighted darkness. “Yeah, um, we’ve settled our feelings.” You weren’t sure if you should tell her, even though you knew she wouldn’t say a word to anyone else.

“‘Settled your feelings?’ Is that a codeword for something?” You could hear her shift on her side and watched as she propped her head up on her hand.

Your breath hitched, but you fought against the tension in your chest. Fear. “Keep it to yourself for the time being, A, but we’re yes, we’re together.”

“Yes! Ooh, how sneaky, keeping it a secret!” She sounded exactly like Shawn.

“It’s not like that, we just don’t want to cause drama, but we’ll probably tell everyone soon. We wanted one week at least.” You put your arms behind your head, covering yourself with your blanket.

“To not tell anyone?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

It was silent, but Alessia broke it, “I’ve never seen him happier. You’re good for him, and he’s good for you.”

“How is he good for me?” You ask, curious. Your phone buzzed at that moment, and you grabbed it, reading the message. Can you come here please? It was from Shawn.

“You calm each other. You think the same way and know how to comfort whatever you’re stressing about, I mean, I saw it before you were together. I just got the feeling it was more than that now. And when you talk about anything creative it’s like no one’s around.” She responded. You began to smile, and tore the sheets off your bed. “Where are you going?” You could see her face now, her hair tied back and a big sweater covering her.

“I’ll be back,” you stated, and she just wiggled her eyebrows at you. “What?”

She laughed softly, “Don’t come back too soon.”

“Shut up.” You replied, unable to keep the grin off your face. Tiptoeing down the bus hallway, you made it to the back where Shawn was. His room wasn’t big, and mostly was just a bed with a tiny space to walk next to. Opening the door, you walked in, the room only illuminated by the passing streetlights. They flashed yellow, so you could occasionally see Shawn’s form laying in the bed, back to you.

Moving to him, you carefully edged your way to the side, scared to fall from the moving bus. “Hi,” You said, and he turned around, eyes opening. They looked worried, and continued to as he moved to the wall next to the bed, letting you crawl in beside him.

You propped your head on the pillow, staring at his face, illuminated yellow every few seconds. His eyes and messy hair glittered with the lights, but soon you hit a stretch of darkness from your surroundings outside. “Hey,” He replied as you felt his leg wrap around yours.

“What’s wrong?” You asked. You moved your hand to the halo of curls around his head, smoothing them back. He shut his eyes, breathing softly out of his mouth.

“I’m scared,” He said, “I feel like a fraud sometimes. Like I’m not good enough to have the life I have, and I feel like I can’t breathe when I think about it too hard.” You could see his eyes watering and see the restraint he held when trying not to cry.

You shook your head, “I’ve felt that way too many times to count. I believe that you’re here, on this earth, for a reason. If you weren’t good enough to have the life you have, you wouldn’t bring so much joy to the people who love you and look up to you,” You calmly moved your hand to his cheek, wiping the tear pooled at his eye, “Whenever you feel that anxiety come in, take a deep breath and say, ‘I’m here for a reason. I matter.’”

He repeated after you, “I’m here for a reason. I matter.” You nodded, pulling him close to you and letting his head lie in the crook of your neck. You ran circles along his back, feeling him clutch onto your waist. “Where did you learn how to do that?” He asked, voice muffled.

A tug came to your lips, “My dad said the same thing to me when I had my shows.”

“He sounds amazing,” He whispered, “I want to meet him. Your mom, too.”

You chuckled softly, “Give it a few more weeks, rock star.”

He kissed your shoulder, bodies intertwined. Eventually, his breathing slowed and became more even, and you heard Alessia’s voice in your head; You calm each other. Somehow you got the feeling that no matter what happened you would always be there for him, and he would always be there for you. With those thoughts, your mind settled and you felt the warmth of sleep take you in gently.

Two Months Later

Everyone on tour knew about you and Shawn now, and nobody ever protested it. They all were happy for you both. Life had become easier as you adjusted your already similar schedules: waking up next to him was a dream, though the two of you hadn’t taken things farther than that. It never came up now that you were moving across countries and continents each day, exhausted and sleeping as soon as you got in the hotel room.

Alessia was gone, and it felt not completely whole on tour without her. You totally loved Dan and Shay, but the two of you created such a bond that you often found yourself turning to your side to tell her something or laugh with her when she wasn’t even there. Missy had come, making Shawn’s life much easier with her incredible organization skills.

Today was going to be a fantastic day, you thought to yourself as you stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was Halloween, and you didn’t think there was another better celebration than having a Halloween show in Melbourne. The fans in the Oceania part of the tour were like something out of a movie. The crowd felt unreal there.

Pulling the towel from your head, your hair fell down around your shoulders. Tonight everyone was going in costume, wearing 80s clothes, and you were delighted. The frantic colors and patterns were fun to wear, so you already began to change into your mom jeans, multi-colored striped top, and yellow bomber jacket.

In less than twenty minutes, your hair was away from your face, in a crimped ponytail with a scrunchie and you wore yellow eyeshadow that rimmed your eyes with heavy mascara. Halloween was so exciting to you, and you honestly missed getting dressed up.

“You ready, love?” You could hear Shawn open the door to your room, and he walked into the bathroom, grinning when he saw your face. “I love it. You look totally rad! That’s what they said, right? Rad?”

You laughed, watching him at the door in the reflection of the mirror. He wore a multi-colored bomber jacket and some cargo pants with a neon headband, and he looked so happy. His lips were rosy, and you replied, “I’m pretty sure, don’t ask me though, I’m not that old.”

“You’re older than me.” He added.

You stuck your tongue out at him, “By one year.” You began to put your makeup brushes away, and paused, “Do you want to wear some eyeliner? It might look cool.” You held the black pen in front of your face.

“Sure, let’s try it,” He moved to the counter and stood in front of the sink, facing you. You held his chin in one palm while your steady hand brushed along the rim of his eye. “It feels weird,” he said in discomfort.

“You get used to it.”

“You look so concentrated, it’s really cute.” He moved away from the eyeliner as you finished, setting it down on the counter. Snaking his arms around you, you settled your head against his sternum, feeling the solid-ness of him. “Let’s get going before Missy accuses us of ‘fooling around.’”

You felt a smile tug at your lips. “That woman talks like an old lady, I swear.”

He let go of you, “Don’t tell her that.”

Shawn’s leg kicks during Jesse’s Girl were absolutely adorable, you thought as the concert wrapped up. You, Kit, and Simon had thought up a dramatic introduction for him to come out of the stage on and it fit really well with the performance.

Several hours later, you were on the plane, moving to the tour’s next location. Your flight anxiety was worse this time around, bad turbulence making you nauseous. Shawn had pressed your palms into his and rubbed your neck soothingly for what seemed like forever, and it wasn’t until the last two hours of the flight that he fell asleep. You felt bad for keeping him awake, but welcomed his sleepy head on your shoulder and the arm that fell across from you gladly.

With your free arm (his arm kept your left one pinned down) you wrote some lyrics down in a notebook Alessia had given you on her last day of tour. It was a simple, black leather bound notebook, with yellow-ish lined pages. All you could write about were the same few themes: a feeling of falling, and then getting pulled back into someone’s grasp, or feeling so happy you were unsure it would last, lastly your main theme, of course; so many of the lyrics had been for the boy sleeping on you at the exact same time. Alessia told you to write down those feelings and keep them recorded so that one day you could look back on them, and smile at what you’d done and accomplished in your life.

Shawn had begun to stir from his sleep, mumbling incoherent words as he gripped the blanket on the both of you. You moved your hand, running it along his scalp calmly, “I love you,” you said, surprising yourself with what you just whispered to him. You had kept it in for so many months, terrified of coming to terms with it. Your lips trembled, scared to see his facial expression.

His face was still unmoving with sleep, and you felt a breath come out of you. He didn’t hear you. But was that what you wanted? For him not to know how much you loved him?

December

Your apartment looked much less lonely now that Christmas decor had been almost bombarded on every surface; there were twinkly lights across your windows and on your kitchen counters, holiday pillows swapped for regular ones, and a white, red, and gold tree shining next to your couch. The cold time of year always made you the happiest, and you felt this elation course through your body almost every day.

A soft blanket and a mug of coffee kept you warm while you watched old cartoons on your tv, feeling nostalgic. Shawn was cooking in the kitchen while you rested. Lately, it seemed like the two of you barely spent a day apart, and it was hard for you to get anything done around him when all you wanted to do was be next to him. That’s what the holidays were for, you reminded yourself. It was easy to get swept up in a world of productivity.

A smell of something savory wafted into the living area, and you turned your head away from the television to look at your boyfriend. He domestically had a rag on his shoulder while the sizzle of something sauteing in a pan and the chopping of a knife made you ask, “What’re you making?”

“It’s a secret,” You could see him grin as he moved to the fridge.

“You didn’t need to make anything,” You added.

He shrugged, turning his head to you, “I wanted to have a nice dinner with you tonight, and plus, you said we could watch Harry Potter, so this is my thank you.” You giggled, turning back to the screen to watch Charlie Brown having a snowball fight with his dog.

In a half-hour, plates were set on your seasonally-decorated dining table, and glasses of wine were filled for the two of you. Putting the utensils down next to each of your plates, Shawn sauntered up to the table and dramatically set down the serving plate, steaming with food. “Roasted chicken, sauteed with onions and vegetables,” Shawn grinned, looking at you expectantly as if he were on a cooking competition show. “Dessert is also a surprise.”

It tasted delicious; he really knew his way around the kitchen. Shawn blushed every single time you complemented the food, quite adorably, and soon enough the both of you had changed the subject to the Harry Potter movie you were going to watch.

“Okay, but the third is such a classic! It has the Marauders stuff happening and Lupin and it’s my favorite!” Shawn argued while the two of you gathered up your plates, walking to the sink.

You shrugged, “Yes, but the fourth has the Triwizard Tournament, and we can’t forget about Cedric Diggory!”

Shawn snorted, “That’s because you have a weird obsession with Robert Pattinson, and you know it!” You laughed along with Shawn, unable to make a retort because you knew he was completely correct.

You gave in, opening the dishwasher, “Alright, alright, but we’re watching the fourth one soon.”

“M’kay, Bella Swan.”

You scoffed, slapping him with a dishrag, “How dare you compare me to her! She has the personality of a piece of paper!” He doesn’t reply, and just watches as you try to hide your giggles. There’s a strange silence and you can almost hear the ambience of the holidays in your ears.

Shaking his head, Shawn blurts, “I love you,” he said affectionately, almost as if he didn’t hear it, continuing to wash off the plates. He pauses, looking at you and coming to his senses, realizing what he said.

He hadn’t said it since his birthday. You hadn’t said it at all, save for that night on the plane, but he wasn’t even awake. But somehow you felt an overwhelming feeling come over you, and on instinct you replied, “I love you too.”

Shawn takes his hands away from the sink. “You do?” His face looks vulnerable, and a hand reaches out to stabilize himself on the counter. All you can do is nod. “Yeah?” He questions again, and you set your rag down on the counter, taking his face in your palms and kissing him as passionately as you can.

The two of you part, “Yeah, I do. ‘Guess I was too scared to say it ‘till now.” You reply as his arms loop around your waist.

“Why would you be scared?” He brings your body closer to him.

“When I love people, I’m scared of losing them,” You mutter under your breath, but he heard you anyway.

He pushes a piece of hair behind your ear, “You’re never going to lose me,” His eyes darken, almost looking pained as he brings his lips to yours again, and you get lost in the taste of him, the smell of him. You can feel his arms slide from your waist to your thighs, and he hikes you up onto the counter. Your fingers rake across his scalp, feeling the heat coming off of his neck, coursing through his body. “I promise.” He says, a pause between kissing you.

The smell of cinnamon and linen welcomes you as he carries you into your bedroom, the curtains shut and the city lights streaming through the bedroom. There’s a lamp on your bedside table, emanating a warm glow. You feel his frame crawl over you, and it’s like the two of you are in a movie. Perfect, cold-weathered lighting, the smell of Christmas, and the hot-and-cold prickly feeling that comes when you pull off your sweater. His face is flushed, rosy cheeks and lashes feathering his cheekbones. He looks at you carefully, almost lost in thought.

You bring your face to his, meticulously playing at the seams of his shirt, kissing him slowly and softly. You can hear a soft moan come from his lips, setting you on your back as he touches what seems like every nerve in your body. “I love you.” He repeats for what seems like forever, almost like he wants you to believe it absolutely.

And you want him to believe it, too, trading the same three words over and over again until you fall asleep holding each other. Strangely, when sleep comes and you’re in your dreams, an old Greek myth that your father told you comes to mind. When pairs of people were one, they didn’t need any other person. They were attached to each other. But when Zeus, King of the Gods separated them, those people, the human race, spent their entire lives looking for their other half. They needed to be with each other so they could be complete.

When you wake up for a moment, lost in the thought of the myth, you look up and see Shawn, curly hair messy and his head in the crook of your neck. You think of the pairs, needing each other to survive. He never lets go.

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anubislover · 5 years ago

Text

Welcome to the Heart Pirates, Nami-ya chapter 11: Dinner with Dr. Heart Stealer

As the clock struck seven, Nami critiqued her outfit in the mirror; a strapless little black dress that hugged her curves like a glove, gold stiletto heels, black thigh-high stockings, and the tourmaline jewelry she’d bought from the seller in Tokken. She even used the hairpins Law had gotten her to clip back the left side of her hair. She finished off the look with some dark red lipstick and gold smokey eyeshadow, giving herself an elegant but sensual look.

“Getting all dressed up for the captain?” Ikkaku teased from her bed. The engineer was thumbing through the romance novel she’d caught Nami with, and though it wasn’t her usual thing, had decided to give it a shot. After all, it had managed to entrance the usually energetic navigator for hours, and she had some time to kill before Ladies Night.

Brushing some gold highlighter over her cheekbones, Nami scoffed. “Please, I’m getting dressed up for you. Law’s just a lucky bastard who benefits due to scheduling.”

“I’m flattered,” she said with a wink. “Though I’ll understand if you ditch me to take him back to the nearest inn so he can rock your world. I mean, I won’t be happy, but I’ll understand.”

“Ok, I gotta ask—have you ever slept with Law? Because you’re always vouching for his sexual prowess…”

Ikkaku immediately made fake gagging sounds. “Oh, hell no! That’d be like fucking one of my brothers! But I have talked to some of his past lovers, and they all seemed pretty damn satisfied. Something a girl like you deserves to be.”

Hip jutting out and eyebrow raised in challenge, Nami replied, “How do you know they aren’t lying? Maybe he’s terrible in bed but they’re all too scared to speak ill of the Surgeon of Death, especially to one of his fearsome subordinates.”

The grin said subordinate graced her with was nothing short of salacious. “Because if he were bad, Drake wouldn’t keep coming back for more, even though Law pisses him off so much.”

Nami bit her lip to hide her grin. “Ok, fair point. Also, I want the inside scoop on that relationship.”

“If Law doesn’t give you the dirty details himself, I’ll happily fill you in,” she replied, sniggering. “Bet they’ll give you better fantasies than whatever’s in your books!”

Pink rose to the redhead’s cheeks as her eyes briefly darted to the space under her bed. Nami had shoved Ikkaku’s scandalous box to the very back corner to hopefully never see the light of day again. She dared not throw them out; she doubted Ikkaku would take kindly to it, and knowing her, would probably present her with something even more embarrassing in retaliation. “By the way, as much as I hate your stupid ‘gift’, thanks for not spilling that to everyone. At least, not directly.”

“I thought about it but figured the sex toys would be just as funny without the guys prying into your hobbies. Most of them have enough tact to keep them from teasing you about a dildo, but I doubt they’d show the same restraint if they found out you were into erotic novels.”

“You just want to lord my guilty pleasure over me, don’t you?”

“How’d you know?”

“I have a sister, remember?”

“Ha! Good point. I’m guessing she teases you about this stuff?” she asked, pointing to the book.

Chocolate eyes rolled in exasperated fondness as she played with her bracelet. “All the time. It was annoying, but I guess I appreciated it, in a way. It was one of the more normal things we could talk about, given how screwed up our situation was.”

“Because of the pirates holding your town hostage?”

“Yeah,” she replied, debating on whether she should elaborate. Finally, she added, “I was kind of an outcast among the townsfolk because I made sea charts for the captain. My sister was the only one who knew it was against my will, and that I had made a deal to raise money to buy the village back. Or at least, they all pretended not to know so if I ever decided to give up and run away, I wouldn’t feel guilty.”

“You know, I’m beginning to understand why you have so many trust issues,” Ikkaku quipped, though her eyes were sympathetic.

“Believe me, it was way worse before Luffy came into my life. If we’d met a year ago, I would have already betrayed you and stolen the ship and all the treasure on board.”

“You could try, but the Boss would kill you. He loves this ship and he does not take threats to his crew lightly.”

“I’ve noticed,” Nami deadpanned, adjusting her bodice. It was a sweetheart neckline, which nicely accented her generous bust, had enough support to keep her from spilling out. Such a thing was extremely necessary, given the low back of the dress. Not long ago, she would have been nervous wearing something so daring around Law, but she was still leaning on the theory that he had a weird fetish for modest clothing. If she was right, showing this much skin would act as a repellant.

“He wasn’t too rough with you, was he?” Ikkaku asked, genuinely concerned. “I mean, he can get intense—”

“Oh, he was absolutely terrifying, and I’m pretty sure he was ready to start removing body parts if I hadn’t been having a panic attack, but honestly? I’d still choose him over Arlong.”

Before Ikkaku could ask any questions, there was a firm knock on the door. Grabbing her new purse and slipping into a leopard print, fur-trimmed coat, Nami nodded at her roommate. “Promise me a 9pm rescue?”

“Hmmm, only if I don’t get too caught up in this book,” she teased, cracking it open. “I mean, you did say there was some pretty intense eye contact to look forward to.”

Blushing, she shot back, “You laugh, but chemistry like that can be more intense than any make-out scene.”

“Says the virgin.”

Choosing to ignore the jab, Nami yanked open the door and was met by Law’s cocky smirk. To her surprise, he wore a tailored white suit with a black dress shirt, which brought out that extra little bit of olive in his skin tone. His polished black dress shoes gleamed as brightly as his earrings and the thick, gold chain around his neck. A heady, musky scent tempted Nami’s nose, and she realized Law’d chosen to wear some kind of cologne. Oddly enough, his white fur hat and tattoos didn’t seem as out of place as when he’d dressed up on Tokken Island; perhaps it was because this wasn’t a disguise, or the color was just far more complimentary to his trademark accessories. He looked slick and dangerous, but also at ease—a criminal on a night off.

Damn it, he looked even better than he had at the gala.

Leaning against the doorframe, Law’s grin widened at her perusal. “Do I pass inspection, Nami-ya?” he purred, giving her his own approving once-over.

Gold eyes locked with hazelnut as Nami cocked her hip. “Considering how you haven’t told me where we’re going, it’s a bit hard to judge. For all I know, you’re underdressed.”

“We’re going to a jazz club I frequent, so even if I showed up in jeans, they’d let me in—especially if I have a beautiful woman on my arm.”

“Flatter all you like, Law—you’re not getting out of footing the bill.”

Never breaking eye contact, he gave a little mock bow. “Of course not. A gentleman always treats on the first date.”

“I don’t know you’re more wrong about; that you think this is a date, that there’ll be more than one, or that you’re anything even close to a gentleman.”

“I think I proved myself at the gala. I was on my best behavior, wasn’t I?”

“Maybe in public, but the second we were alone, you went right back to being a bastard.”

A low whistle interrupted their banter, and Nami turned to see Ikkaku wiggling her eyebrows suggestively as she meaningfully glanced between them. “You know what, Nami? You may have a point with that ‘intense eye contact’ thing.”

Cheeks inflamed, Nami grabbed Law by the arm and dragged him down the hallway before Ikkaku could say anything else. As she felt the captain’s intense gaze burning into the back of her head, she silently wondered if a free dinner was worth it.

XXX

The outside of the jazz club was far from impressive—in fact, the entrance was a nondescript wooden door against a plain brick wall, its only ornamentation a faded bronze knocker and a number “8” nailed at the top. Nami was positive she would have walked straight past if Law hadn’t led her to it, pausing to quickly rap three times with his knuckles, then four with the knocker.

After a moment, the door opened, and they were greeted by a young woman dressed in a short skirt and tailored red vest. “Captain Trafalgar. So glad you could join us tonight.”

Law gave a lazy, familiar grin as he wrapped his arm around Nami’s waist. “Always a pleasure, Akari. Is my usual booth ready?”

“Of course, sir,” she replied, ushering them inside and leading them down a narrow, winding staircase.

As they stepped into the lounge, Nami’s eyes widened in surprise. The bland building façade hid a much more elaborate interior; everything from the bar to the floor to the wall panels were made of mahogany or cherry wood, with ruby red cushions, upholstery, and carpets. Red and gold lamps provided just enough light to see by while giving the place a sensual, mysterious ambiance.

At the far end of the room, low couches formed a semi-circle around the small dance floor in front of the stage, where various instruments and music stands awaited performers. Currently, the stage’s sole occupant was an older gentleman playing a soothing tune on the piano. There were a few larger tables scattered about, but most of the seating appeared to be small booths in the walls, their openings framed by red velvet curtains. Several were occupied by canoodling couples, and it didn’t escape Nami’s notice that a few even had the curtains drawn.

Akrai led them to an empty booth, and Law graciously helped Nami out of her coat, handing it to their hostess to hang up before sliding comfortably into his seat.

“Wow,” Nami said, taking it all in. Their seating arrangement was cozy but not claustrophobic, the velvet cushions that padded the crescent bench wonderfully plush. A gold lamp hung above the round table, allowing her to more easily peruse the embossed menu. Appetizers ranged from shrimp cocktail to deviled quail eggs, while entrees featured grilled seafood, roast duck, and steak. The drink list was extensive with an assortment of sparkling wines, cocktails, hard liquor, and even absinthe.

“I figured you’d approve,” Law replied smugly, lounging back in his seat. “And I told you I wasn’t underdressed.”

“I guess not. How’d you hear about this place?”

“It’s an establishment that first started in the North Blue—Prohibition Island decided it wanted to outlaw alcohol, among other ‘sinful’ things. The club’s owner was an entrepreneur from the West Blue, so she knew a thing or two about setting up businesses under the government’s nose. The original club became successful enough to branch out to other islands, and eventually made its way down the Grand Line.”

“I wouldn’t expect Grimm to ban alcohol,” Nami replied, brow furrowing in confusion. An archipelago that catered to pirates and other scum, which had a thriving black market and a brothel on every corner, but outlawed alcohol? The very idea was baffling.

Head shaking, Law chuckled, “Oh, it doesn’t, but Haiko-ya felt the atmosphere suited the clandestine aesthetic. This just happens to be a place where you can get quality booze and not worry about someone spiking your drink. She’s a criminal, but she has standards far higher than most of the island’s establishments.”

“You sound like you know her personally.”

He shrugged but gave a mysterious smile. “She’s Kimo-ya’s wife, actually. Considering all the business I do with her husband, she was happy to give me a lifetime VIP membership.”

A wave of paranoia sent a shiver down Nami’s spine. “What if she sells us out to Jinzo?”

“She won’t. She hates the man’s guts to an impressive extent. Hell, if she’s here tonight, she’ll probably give you special perks for ending up on his shit list.”

By that point, a young man in a red satin waistcoat appeared, smiling at the pair pleasantly. “Welcome back to Ruby 8, Captain Trafalgar. My name is Hansuke, and it’s my pleasure to serve you tonight. What can I get you to drink?” he asked, flipping open his notepad.

“I’ll have a neat whiskey,” Law said easily.

“A Sour Sunrise for me, please,” Nami said, pleased to find an orange juice-based cocktail. She flashed Law a catlike grin as she added, “And a bottle of your best champagne.”

“One glass or two?” the waiter asked, glancing at Law for confirmation.

“Two,” Law replied, smirking at Nami. “In fact, make sure there’s another bottle ready for when we finish the first one. We’re celebrating, after all, and I intend on giving my woman an unforgettable evening.”

“I’m not your woman,” she growled, but was ignored by both men.

“Of course, Captain Trafalgar,” Hansuke said with an eager nod. Men looking to impress were men who spent a lot of money, and if he did well, he might just earn himself a hefty tip. “Are you ready to order your meals as well, or do you need more time?”

“I know what I want,” said Law, barely glancing at the menu. “I’ll take the grilled salmon with the house salad.”

“I’ll have the orange duck, and can we also get a basket of rolls for the table, please?” Nami asked the waiter sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes for extra measure.

The young man nervously glanced between her and the scowling Supernova, clearly debating which one was better to please.

“I…let me check with the chef—I think he said something about running out,” he squeaked out before sprinting off.

“That was cruel of you, Nami-ya,” Law rumbled, fixing her with an annoyed glare, though sadistic humor twinkled in his eyes. “I told you, I’m a regular here. They know I despise bread and will decapitate anyone stupid enough to bring it to my table.”

With a huff, she crossed her long legs and flipped her hair haughtily. “Killing a waiter isn’t a great way to impress a girl and will definitely get you banned from any self-respecting restaurant—VIP or not.”

“I wouldn’t kill him—you forget, my powers allow me to cut a man to pieces and still keep him alive.”

“You should seriously still be banned.”

“They’ve served far worse patrons than me, and they know I’ll be on my best behavior and fill their pockets with plenty of belli so long as they don’t intentionally piss me off.” Lips turning up in an amused grin, he continued, “I’d say it’s a lesson you could stand to learn, sweetheart, but half the time I find your petty acts of defiance charming.”

“Does that include the sunburn I gave you?”

“No, though I did enjoy everything you did to distract me from it.”

The waiter returned to their booth with their drinks and a small tray of assorted meat and cheeses, smiling at Nami apologetically even as a drop of sweat trickled down his face. “I’m so sorry, miss, but it seems we’re out of bread this evening. Not so much as a crumb can be found. Please accept this complimentary charcuterie board with the house’s sincerest apologies.”

Annoying as it was that Law had the staff wrapped around his finger, she took pity on the poor man and gave an understanding smile. If the Surgeon of Death really was a regular at this place, she couldn’t blame him for not going along with her game. “Oh, this is just lovely! Thank you so much!”

Hansuke’s relief was palatable as he set down the tray and their drinks before running off to fetch the champagne.

“See? It’s things like this that keep me from getting too mad at you,” Law chuckled, popping a cube of cheese into his mouth. “I haven’t gotten a free appetizer since that time a new waiter insisted I’d ordered breadcrumbs on my salmon.”

“So, you tolerate me so long as I get you free stuff?” Nami quipped, taking a dainty bite of a slice of ham. It had a surprising fruity note and practically melted in her mouth. She’d have to tell Sanji about it. Hell, even Luffy might appreciate it, assuming he took the time to chew.

She swallowed a bit more harshly than she’d intended when Law leaned across the table, long fingers lightly stroking her elbow as he murmured, “I put up with your antics so long as you make it worth my while, Nami-ya. Keep that in mind next time you’re tempted to pull one of your little pranks.”

Despite pulling his hand away to pick up his drink, Nami could still feel tingling sparks dance across her skin. It really was ridiculous how a brush of his hand invoked that reaction. She was supposed to be more composed than that—a wily thief that didn’t mix business with pleasure—but while his overt come-ons could be annoying, his subtle touches and inviting glances still managed to tempt her. “Fine, but the fact that you’re willing to literally take someone’s head off over bread is way more childish than my ‘little pranks’,” she grumbled into her cocktail.

Whether Law heard her snarky comment or not, their conversation was briefly interrupted as the waiter appeared with the champagne, popping the cork and carefully pouring the bubbly liquid into a pair of elegant crystal flutes. “The sous chef has received your order and will of course be making it himself, Captain Trafalgar,” he said. “If you need anything else in the meantime, please, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thanks,” he said breezily, sipping his whiskey. “What time is the band scheduled to start up?”

“In less than a half-hour, sir. They’re currently on their dinner break, but I can ask—”

He waved him off. “I’m in no rush, and I’d rather they be at peak condition while performing. I don’t need my evening ruined because one of them fainted onstage from hunger.”

“Of course, sir. Regardless, I’ll inform them you’re in the audience. Anything else?”

“Time alone with my date would be ideal,” he replied in a clipped tone, raising an eyebrow meaningfully.

Nami could see the way the young man shivered at Law’s glare, and he skittered like a mouse back to the kitchen, wisely leaving the bottle behind.

“And you call me cruel,” she stated blandly as she savored another piece of ham.

“I’m all for attentive servers, but the constant sucking up was getting old.” Trying some of the meat for himself, he glanced at her appraisingly. “But enough about him. You’re a far more interesting subject.”

She frowned, brow furrowing suspiciously. “Am I?”

Linking his fingers and leaning his elbows on the table, he smirked. “Of course. Despite being on my ship for nearly three months, you’re still a mystery. A puzzle with so many missing pieces that I can’t yet visualize the total picture.”

“I could say the same about you,” she said, remembering the confusion she felt as he ran off the day before. “We’re both complex people who play their cards close to the chest.”

“That we are, but yesterday proved that a lack of communication between us can be detrimental to our working relationship, not to mention your health. I promise not to pry too much, and you don’t need to give me all the details, but I expect honest answers.”

Much as she wanted to argue, Penguin’s advice stopped her. The first mate was right; everyone had baggage, but how were people supposed to know her bugbears if she didn’t tell them? As worried as she was that a man like Law would be willing to exploit her weaknesses, he also had a point regarding how their communication issues had nearly gotten her killed. Even if it drudged up unpleasant memories, this was a necessary talk for the sake of side-stepping further unpleasantness. “Fine. I’ll open up—just a little—if you will.”

Resting his chin on his knuckles, Law took a minute to mull over his first question. “Tell me, Nami-ya, how’d you get the name ‘Cat Thief’, anyway? Rumor has it it’s been your moniker since well before the World Government issued your bounty.”

Taking a deep breath and a steadying swallow of her Sour Sunrise, she replied, “My…first captain was always comparing me to a kitten. Guess it was his way of praising me despite my species, since he saw humans as the lowest of the low.”

“Odd opinion.”

“Not for a Fishman.”

Leaning back against the plush velvet cushions, Law unlinked his fingers and munched on another piece of cheese. “Ah. A backhanded compliment. Better than a human, but still little more than a pet.”

“That about sums it up,” she said, pushing down the image of Arlong’s patronizing smile. God, some days she’d hated his condescending approval more than his disgusting hatred for her species. It made her feel dirty, being someone that a monster like him could admire.

Law rubbed his goatee thoughtfully. “No wonder you had such an extreme reaction to me calling you ‘kitten’. I’ll try to avoid it in the future. Still odd you’d adopt a feline signature, though.”

Shaking off her former captor’s vindictive smile, Nami shrugged, buying time before replying by nibbling on some cheese, even though she barely tasted it. “Guess it was a little out of spite; I wanted to take the word back and feel like I had just a shred of power. Didn’t really work, but it was still a good nickname for a thief.”

Perhaps he sensed her discomfort, but Law gently nudged the topic towards safer waters. “Fair. Shachi was the one who came up with ‘The Surgeon of Death’. Bit over-the-top, but I like it. Iconic, and definitely strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies.”

“Sounds like something from a comic book,” she scoffed as she finished her cocktail, moving on to the champagne. She knew she wouldn’t get drunk, but the bubbles tickling her palette would be a pleasant way to keep her mind from slipping into the past. Even without the meds in her system driving her towards panic attacks, she knew nothing good could come from dwelling too long on what Arlong had put her through.

“Like I said, it was Shachi’s idea. He was worried the Marines would give me something lame, so he and the crew went out of their way to mention it in every port we stopped in until they had no choice but to put it on my wanted poster.”

“I’m sure Drake had his own suggestions on what to call you.”

Law chuckled smugly, looking far too proud of himself. “Oh, I’m sure he did, but those posters are seen by the general public, so anything he’d propose would have to be censored. It’s probably why Eustass’ moniker is just ‘Captain’; either that or it’s a lame form of overcompensation.” His grin grew even more devious as he added, “First time we met, I deliberately acted like Killer was the captain, just to piss him off.”

Despite herself, Nami had to giggle. She’d only met Eustass Kid briefly, but he’d seemed the type to not take an insult lightly. With the highest bounty of the rookies, he was certainly someone she wouldn’t want to mess with. “You’re an asshole with a death wish, aren’t you?”

Law shrugged, knocking back the rest of his whiskey. The humor in his eyes dimmed. “Perhaps I do, just a little bit. I didn’t expect to live past the age of thirteen.”

“Why?” she asked curiously before she could catch herself. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Face cast in shadow by the brim of his hat, he tersely replied, “I was a sickly child. My father was the best doctor in the providence, but even he couldn’t come up with a cure. Didn’t help that the world believed it was a contagious disease, so we had no outside help. I only survived because of the Ope Ope no Mi.”

“Your father must have been happy about that, at least.”

“He was killed years before I got my hands on it.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” Her heart clenched at the thought. A dead parent before the age of thirteen. Wasn’t that a painfully familiar story? “Well, I’m sure he’d still be happy you survived.”

He shrugged again, watching the bubbles in his champagne flute pop to avoid meeting her sympathetic gaze. “He’d be disappointed that I became a pirate instead of following in his footsteps.”

“Maybe, but I think he’d accept it so long as you’re alive and happy. Bellemere was a Marine, but while she wouldn’t approve of her daughter becoming a pirate, she’d support my decision because I’m free and working towards my dream of drawing a map of the world.”

As he finally looked at her, Nami caught Law’s lips briefly twitch upwards. “I suppose we’ll never know, but it’s a pleasant fantasy, at least.” He gave a mock toast. “To the parents who wanted better for us.”

With a wry smile, Nami clinked her glass to his, the pair gulping down the sparkling wine just as their food arrived. Digging into her meal, she appreciated both the delicious flavor of the duck and the blessed break in the heavy conversation eating allowed.

Talking to Law about her past was far different from Luffy. Nojiko had informed her before they left Cocoyashi that her stubborn captain had opted out of hearing her backstory when she’d offered to reveal it. At first, Nami’d been offended—what, had he thought her reasons for betraying the crew and faking Usopp’s death didn’t matter? But then she realized that, even without knowing who Arlong was or what he’d done to her and the villagers, Luffy had still gone after him.

All because that bastard had made his navigator cry.

As they’d sailed for Loguetown afterwards, Nami had pulled Luffy aside one night, sat him down, and told him everything. Not because he needed to know, but because a man like that was someone who deserved to know. Deserved to know the awful things she’d endured and done to survive. Why he’d found her mutilating her shoulder, cutting off that awful tattoo. Why she was so grateful he’d destroyed that room and all of the charts she’d toiled over for eight years. Why his refusal to give up on her had meant the world to the distrustful thief.

For his part, Luffy had listened quietly, occasionally nodding his head to show he was paying attention, an unusually patient and serious expression on his face. When she was finished, he’d clapped her shoulder, gave her that carefree, goofy grin, and simply said, “Now I’m really glad I punched that jerk!”

Law wasn’t like that. While he didn’t pry, he did ask questions, clearly seeking those missing puzzle pieces he spoke of and not taking her answers at face-value. Admittedly, they had been pretty bare-boned, but it highlighted the difference between the two captains—Law sought to understand because he didn’t fully trust her. Luffy didn’t need to understand, because he trusted her from the moment she’d refused to fire a cannonball at him.

Looking at Law’s nearly-finished plate, she had to suppress a giggle as another difference between him and Luffy hit her—his chewing habits might have left something to be desired, but at least he knew not to eat the fish’s skeleton.

Noticing his companion’s attention had returned to him, Law took a sip of champagne as he considered her. “You mentioned your ‘first captain’. I’m assuming this wasn’t Mugiwara?”

Nami sighed, setting down her fork to drink from her own glass, hoping the sharp beverage would wash away the foul taste talking more about Arlong would inevitably bring. “No. Before Luffy, I served as the cartographer for another pirate crew for eight years.” She deliberately didn’t mention she was an officer—it was easier for people to accept she was a prisoner when it didn’t sound like she was in a position of authority. Perhaps that was why Arlong had “promoted” her, even though she had no real power among the Fishmen. “He…his crew invaded my village when I was ten and made everyone pay for the right to live. Bellemere only had enough money to save her own life, or mine and Nojiko’s.”

“And, of course, she sacrificed herself to protect her children.” Law shook his head, and for a moment, Nami swore she saw a wince of pain, but the amber light made it hard to tell. “Eight years…I know captains who recruit kids so they can brainwash them into loyal subordinates, but he killed your mother. I doubt you joined him willingly, after something like that?”

“Believe me, I didn’t,” she growled. Hands shaking slightly, she instinctively grabbed her knife, holding it like the dagger she’d used to fake Usopp’s death and destroy her tattoo. “Working for my mother’s murderer was nothing short of torture. Day and night I drew maps for him until my hands bled, barely allowed to sleep or eat. And all the while he acted like he was doing me a favor, since cartography was what I loved most in the world.”

The word DEATH entered her field of vision as Law covered her trembling hand with his own. The warmth was comfortingly familiar at this point, and she felt her white-knuckled grip on the cutlery slacken. “Don’t worry; I do believe you,” he said softly, catching her gaze with his own. His expression was soft and concerned—similar to the way he’d looked at her last night in the infirmary. “You’ve shown yourself to be loyal to those you care about, and we’ve all done awful, painful things for the sake of survival. And I have to say, you may actually have a stronger will than me—I doubt I would have lasted a week serving the captain who murdered someone I held dear.”

“Yeah,” she said, breathing deeply, willing herself to calm down. Law’s thumb rubbing little circles across her knuckles was surprisingly helpful with that. It gave her something to focus on; to ground herself instead of letting the memories take over. Rough as the callouses from his swordsmanship and hard life at sea were, they were still so much smoother than the sandpaper-like skin of a shark Fishman. So blessedly human. “I guess…I guess you were right, though; if you’re not strong enough to protect yourself, you’re the property of someone who was strong enough to claim you.”

“I know I’m right, but I wish I weren’t. I’m assuming this first captain of yours has something to do with your dislike of my uniform?”

“You could say that.” She sighed, jerking her chin towards her left shoulder, the faint scars beneath her swirling tattoo barely visible in the dim light, but neither had to see them to know they were there. “One of the first things he did was have me branded with his Jolly Roger to make sure I couldn’t run off. So the whole world would know I was his property.”

Much like Penguin, Nami could see the dots connecting in Law’s mind. He’d recognized right away that the scars were self-inflicted, but now that he knew what had once been in their place, he could deduct why she’d caused herself such grievous harm. She felt his fingers tighten around her own, first in anger, before easing into a comforting squeeze. With forced calm, he said, “Considering how often Fishmen and Mermaids are sold as slaves, it was probably just as much a petty form of revenge. Still, I guess that explains your objection.” Frowning, he rubbed his forehead beneath his hat with his free hand. “Look, I can’t promise you’ll never have to wear the uniform again. Like it or not, it really is the easiest way to keep you safe.”

Deep down, she appreciated his apology and understanding, even as she inwardly groaned at the thought of wearing the beige jumpsuit. “It also made me a target,” she argued. “Drake wouldn’t have looked twice at me if I’d been in my normal clothes.”

“Please, Drake-ya reads the news and would have gone after you regardless of what you were wearing. He’s smart enough to recognize a dangerous alliance when he sees one, or at least an opportunity to get a leg up. Pitiful as your bounty is, getting his hands on a lone Straw Hat, especially one who was able to rob a former Marine Intelligence officer’s mansion, would be quite tempting.” A wide, predatory grin stretched across his face as he leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist as he leered at her. “Though, personally, I think he was jealous that I’d found a new redhead to play with.”

Nami snorted, the tension in her back loosening. Creepy as he was, Law was smart, steering the conversation away from the past and the world’s speculation on their partnership to something they could casually fight about. “Are you kidding? I think he was relieved; with me around, he doesn’t have to deal with you bothering him anymore.”

“If that were the case, he wouldn’t have tried to abduct you.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, he was trying to ‘rescue’ me; Drake’s a real gentleman, unlike you,” she quipped, taking a condescending sip of her drink.

“Oh, yes, a real gentleman who kidnaps and threatens to sell off unwilling women,” Law replied sarcastically.

“Better than a pervert who makes a girl wear an ugly uniform to indulge his weird sexual fetish.”

“…my what now?”

Confident that she’d just played a winning hand, she leaned forward, bending her chest slightly over the table. “Please, I see right through your little act. Sure, you flirt and tease, but only if I’m fully dressed.” The tip of a manicured finger teasingly traced along the swell of her cleavage. “When I’m wearing next to nothing, you show no interest in my incredibly sexy body. Given your proclivities, I’m surprised you even helped me out of my coat.”

Blinking owlishly, Law replied, “I’m sorry, you think I’m attracted to you…when you’re wearing more clothes?”

“Yeah!” she insisted, not caring for his disbelieving tone.

He covered his face with one large, tattooed hand, but through his splayed fingers Nami could still see yellow eyes light up with amusement. As she glared, they only shone brighter, and his shoulders slowly began to shake. Gradually, low chuckles slipped from his lips, finally morphing into full-on laughter, his palm failing to muffle the sound.

An irritated vein throbbed in Nami’s forehead as Law continued to cackle. “Don’t think you can fool me by treating this like a joke! You have a clothing kink! During my initial check-up, you didn’t give a damn that I was strutting around in my underwear. At the mansion, you were all over me when I was in that gown, but once it’s off, woosh, I’m as attractive as a lamp! Even after the mission, you barely even acknowledged what a hot piece of ass I am. Then you insist I wear that freaking jumpsuit…”

“Nami-ya,” he chortled as his hand dropped back to the table, managing to calm down enough during her rant to formulate a reply, “I don’t have a clothing kink—I’m just good at compartmentalizing and know there’s a time and place. When we were in the infirmary, not only was I acting as your doctor, but it was clear you were too nervous to be receptive to any blatant advances. As for the mansion, yes you looked absolutely delicious in that bodysuit, but we were there to do a job; there was simply no time to indulge myself. And when I treated your wounds,” his smile fell a bit, “you’d just been through a potentially traumatizing event. You were flinching just from me touching your calf. I know I can be an asshole, but did you really expect me to come onto you when you were acting like I was Harpin?”

For a moment, Nami just sat there, jaw hanging uselessly as she realized just how far off her theory had been, and most importantly, just how badly she’d managed to embarrass herself. Her own vanity had blinded her to the obvious answer. She could justify it with the fact that most of the guys she knew were either perverts or barely acknowledged that she was a woman, so she wasn’t used to a man who could both flirt and control himself, but she wouldn’t lie to herself.

“So…the uniform isn’t some weird sexual thing?” she asked, trying to cover her humiliation by finishing her glass of champagne. Times like these made her really wish she could get drunk; it would be the perfect excuse for her ridiculous accusation.

“I mean, I won’t lie and say I don’t like you in it, but it really is just for your own protection.” Law’s returning grin was smoldering and devilish as he purred, “I’m curious, though, about what bothered you more; that I might have a strange fetish for fully-clothed women, or that I wasn’t giving your incredibly sexy body the attention you felt it deserved?”

“I…”

He shuffled closer, sliding across the booth to close the distance between them, resting his right arm across the back of her seat and teasingly trailing the fingers of his left land along the soft skin of her jaw to cup her chin. “Because if it’s the latter, I’m happy to show you just how much I appreciate it when you run around my ship in crop tops and booty shorts.”

Nami blushed, realizing she’d played directly into his hands.

“You know, one of the reasons I like redheads so much is how vibrantly they blush,” he chuckled, leaning down so his breath danced across her sensitive neck and ear. The way she’d pinned her hair meant she had no shield from it, and she shivered at the sensation. “It’s so cute, watching the capillaries that carry your blood widen as adrenaline rushes through you. No matter how good a person’s poker face is, the body doesn’t lie. Lets me know my target’s receptive to my flirting, even when they stubbornly refuse to admit it.”

“You base it all on a blush?” she countered, defiantly poking him in the chest. “People blush in anger and embarrassment. You can’t assume someone wants you just because their face gets a little red.”

Like a leopard sizing up his prey, Law loomed above her, gaze analytical and hungry as he studied her. “No, you’re right; good thing, as a doctor, I know all the other physical indicators of arousal.” Tilting her head up, he stated, “Dilated pupils.”

His hand dropped from her chin to carefully brush along the flesh of her arm. “Goosebumps.”

Long fingers encircled her wrist, thumb resting over her pulse. “Increased heartrate.”

Honey eyes dropped to Nami’s mouth as the tip of her pink tongue peeked out to moisten her suddenly dry lips. “Unconsciously licking one’s lips.”

Releasing her wrist, Law’s touch traveled back up her arm to gently stroke the ends of her mikan hair. “And the fact that you haven’t even tried to move or push me away. In fact, I’d say you’re leaning into my touch.”

Nami’s face warmed further as she realized he was right. Mentally she berated herself, but deep down, she was beginning to accept that, even if she refused to act on it for pride and professionalism’s sake, she was slightly addicted to his attentions. She was never short on male admirers, but Law challenged her, the push-and-pull giving her a thrill the way heart-eyed fools like Sanji failed to. There was something about Law that drew her in like a moth to a flame—she knew it was fatal to get too close, but damn it, she couldn’t help but dance with danger.

Winding a short, orange lock of hair around a long finger, Law declared confidently, “All this says you find me sexually attractive.”

Before she could confirm or deny this claim, an excited voice bellowed, “As I live and breathe, Trafalgar Law graces us with his exalted presence once again!”

Said captain’s seductive grin shifted into his trademark smirk as he turned to greet the newcomer. “Are you living and breathing, Hiroshi-ya?”

The man chuckled, grabbing Law’s hand in a firm shake. Beneath a silver fedora his graying hair was cut close to his scalp. His skin was dark but sported prominent laugh-lines, a pair of oval sunglasses rested on the end of his large nose, and his brilliant grin could have replaced one of the stage’s spotlights. “If I’m not, you’d probably know before I did, doc.”

“Because I’m that good, or because you’d be too focused on performing to realize you’d dropped dead?”

The two shared a laugh before the man turned to introduce himself to Nami. “Hope I wasn’t interrupting a moment, here, darlin’, but I simply had to come over and say hello. The name’s ‘Devil’s Fingers’ Hiroshi, and your boy Law here is one of my favorite patrons. Tips well, and he saved my life.”

“I only fixed your hands.”

“Considerin’ how they’d been crushed beyond recognition and I need those to make a living, I think that counts.”

Nami gaped in shock as Hiroshi held up his hands, showing that while they were clearly in working order, they were littered with tiny surgical scars.

Law shrugged, though he seemed pleased with the praise. “It was a fun operation—not every day you get to remove someone’s finger bones one-by one to rebuild your favorite musician’s hands.”

“You put someone else’s bones into him?” Nami asked the surgeon, astounded.

“Of course,” Law said casually. “His own were absolutely pulverized, so a transplant was necessary if he ever wanted to play the saxophone again.”

Part of her was horrified at the mental image, but beneath that, something niggled at her. This was the second time she’d heard someone sing Law’s praises as a legitimate doctor, and unlike Reginald, Hiroshi seemed perfectly aware of the Surgeon of Death’s criminal activities and sadistic reputation. What reason did Law have for helping this man? Was it just because he liked his music?

“Well, I’d best get ready for the show, and I’m sure you want some more alone time with your girl, eh, Law?” Hiroshi teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’d certainly appreciate a little mood music,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a few large bills.

“You got it,” the sax player sniggered, winking at Nami. “Hope you don’t mind, but we’ll be stroking your boy’s ego a bit. After the surgery, I wrote a little ditty about him as thanks, and it’s become pretty popular with the crowd. Plus, it’s the only time Oscar lets me take over as the lead singer.”

“Law strokes his own ego plenty,” Nami groused, eyes rolling heavenward. “And if you want to write about him, go for his flaws; there’s enough of those to fill an opera.”

“Oooo, she’s feisty! Have fun with that, doc!” he chuckled as he strolled off towards the stage.

“I plan to,” Law purred, turning back towards the woman beside him. “I just can’t resist a fiery ginger.”

“Speaking of,” Nami deflected, hoping to keep the conversation from returning to their original topic, “you and Drake, huh?”

He chuckled at her obvious ploy but proceeded to go along with it. “Ah, one of my favorite playmates. What do you want to know?”

“I mean, let’s start with how the hell that happened?”

“You mean, how did the golden boy of the Navy find himself thoroughly seduced by the North Blue’s most notorious rookie pirate?”

“Yeah. Mainly because Drake seems smart enough not to fall for your sleazy tricks. Or at the very least, composed enough to ignore them until you lose interest.”

Refreshing their glasses of champagne, he gave a wolfish smile. “So you’d think, but Drake-ya’s got an instinctual, animalistic side that’s just so much fun to rile up. Besides that, I observed his physical reactions whenever we crossed paths, and wouldn’t you know it? They were damningly similar to yours.”

Picking at the remains of the charcuterie board, she munched on a piece of cheese to keep her body’s natural responses under control. Keep it together, she thought stubbornly. Even if I did mix business with pleasure, there’s no way I’m letting him win. “Pretty sure the heat of battle elicits similar responses. I think you were just looking for clues that weren’t there in a desperate attempt justify a hopeless crush.”

Her sass received a sharp laugh in reply. Handing Nami her glass, Law brushed the tips of his fingers over hers as he stated, ��Maybe, but my theory was undeniably proven when Penguin, Ikkaku and I snuck onto his ship and found him moaning my name while jerking off in the shower.”

Nami nearly choked on her drink, the bubbly wine burning as it tried to make its way up her nose. No wonder Penguin wanted to repress that, she thought, mortified for the poor first mate. She’d probably feel the same way if she’d overheard someone masturbating to the thought of Luffy. “Oh my god.”

“You should have heard the things he was saying—fuck, harder Law! Put that dirty mouth to good use, you bastard!” Law moaned in her ear, mimicking his rival’s deep, guttural growl.

“M-maybe he had a hard-on for justice. You know, the actual law,” she argued weakly. She didn’t even really know why she bothered—it was clear he’d been right, considering how he and Drake had fucked at least once, but she just felt a need to try to knock him down a few pegs and keep his ego in check.

“Mmm, do you really believe that?” he hummed, honey eyes regarding her with amusement as he took a sip of his drink. “I think you’re just looking for clues that aren’t there in a desperate attempt to justify your need to be contrary.”

“Oh, shut up,” she grumbled, downing her drink and pouring the last of the bottle into her glass. “Fine, so Drake was utterly repressed from his time in the Navy and you were able to use that to get him into bed.” A thought came to her, and she raised her eyebrow curiously. “Wait, he didn’t leave the Marines because he fell in love with you or something, right?” That…would be kind of tragic, actually. Despite the sexual tension, the two Supernova hadn’t seemed to be on the friendliest of terms, so if Drake had defected for Law only for their relationship to sour…

“God, no,” he laughed, finishing off his own glass of champagne. “Drake-ya was dishonorably discharged not long after he massacred a village rumored to be sheltering pirates. He may seem honorable and composed, and I’ll admit he usually tried to avoid senseless cruelty, but when situations called for violence, he was cold-blooded and bloodthirsty. I think his family history also played a role; his father had defected and turned pirate, so I imagine there was a bit of a glass ceiling Drake-ya knew he’d never overcome.”

“And you know this how?”

“Pillow talk.”

Nami mulled his words over carefully. “Was Drake close to his father?”

“From what he told me while completely shitfaced, Diez Barrels had once been a Marine Drake-ya wanted to emulate, but when he switched sides, he was nothing short of an abusive monster.”

Pity welled up in Nami’s heart at the implications. “Poor guy.”

“You do remember this is the same man who tried to kidnap you, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it must not have sucked for him; looking up to someone, wanting to be just like them, only to be let down in spectacular fashion.”

For a brief moment, Law tilted his head, the brim of his hat casting a shadow across his face, but his voice was tight as he replied, “Enough about Drake-ya.” Clearing his throat, he turned to catch their waiter’s eye, pointing to the empty bottle of champagne. When his gaze returned to Nami, his tone was back to normal. “I’m getting a little jealous with all this talk about another man.”

She frowned. Nami could tell she’d hit a bit close to home there. Had Law once looked up to someone? Part of her wanted to pry; the man was uncharted waters, and the cartographer in her itched to discover his secrets and map them out.

But more than anyone, she respected wanting to keep a painful history private. “Then what do you want to talk about? Because if you want any more of my past, you’re going to need to buy me more than another bottle of champagne,” she replied before knocking back the final sip.

He raised an eyebrow, impressed. “You drank quite a bit of that, Nami-ya, and yet I’m not noticing any signs of inebriation. It seems Mugiwara wasn’t exaggerating when he bragged about your tolerance.”

“Please, this is nothing—Zoro and I could drink whole taverns dry and still walk a straight line. Hell, it was one of my favorite ways to swindle pirates; get in good with the crew, outdrink them, then swipe their treasure while they were all passed out.”

“Interesting. You may be physically weak, but your liver sounds formidable.”

The lights, dimmed, and Nami glanced around curiously. Law chuckled, drawing her closer and pointing towards the stage. “Looks like the show’s about to start,” he murmured in her ear as he settled in, the arm around her waist telling her that she wasn’t moving for at least the duration of the song.

The band played a low, steady beat as a handsome man in a white silk blazer escorted a curvaceous woman with bold red hair wearing a silver dress onto the stage, the spotlights hitting the sequins in a way that nearly distracted from the daring slit and sexy black garters underneath. Turning her back to the crowd, she swayed her hips to the rhythm as the man took the microphone.

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen,” he drawled, tossing the crowd a smirk that could give Law’s a run for its money. “We’ve got a great night in store for you. I see a lot of new faces out there—as well as some familiar ones—so I’m not gonna yammer on too long. I want you to sit back, enjoy the service, the scenery, but most of all, enjoy the show.”

As he finished, he signaled to the band, who immediately transitioned into a smooth but lively tune, Hiroshi’s saxophone front-and-center, and the red-haired woman turned around, sensually dancing with the emcee as he began to sing.

It ain’t no big thing to wait for the bell to ring It ain’t no big thing The toll of the bell

Aggravated, spare for days I troll downtown the red-light place

Jump up bubble up - what’s in store? Love is the drug and I need to score

Enthralled, Nami watched as the pair performed, the song turning into a duet as they moved, the woman’s low, husky voice sending a thrill down her back. Or perhaps it was Law’s fingers stroking idly along her side—far from his groping in the alley, but the light touch was just as hot. Thighs clenched as the male singer bent the woman over suggestively, and she hoped Law was too focused on the show to notice her aroused blush. She didn’t want to imagine herself and the Supernova next to her in their place, but with the woman’s red hair and the man’s cocky smirk, it was really difficult not to picture the sensual scene the song suggested—her and Law stumbling around a dark room, locked in a passionate embrace, until finally they made it to the bed…

God, she joked about Drake being repressed to give in to an asshole like Law, but clearly, she was just as pent-up.

When the song ended, Nami let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, quickly going for her refilled champagne, gulping it down to wet her suddenly dry mouth. She hadn’t even realized Hansuke had refreshed their drinks as she hadn’t been able to pry her eyes from the stage, too lost in the song and her fantasy.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Law smirking in an all-too-knowing manner, but before he could comment, they were once more interrupted, only this time by the gorgeous singer who had left the stage to visit their table.

“Captain Trafalgar,” the red-haired woman purred, voice husky with an edge of a rough accent that somehow made her even more glamourous, “I heard you were back in town.”

“Excellent opening act, Haiko-ya, as usual,” Law replied, standing up to gallantly kiss her hand. “Oscar may be your prized vocalist, but everyone knows you’re the real star up there.”

“You charmer. Still sure you don’t want to quit piracy and come work for me?” she asked with an inviting smile. “I could use a man of your talents.”

“I’m sure you could, but as much as I like this club, staying in one place just doesn’t appeal to me. I like to wander, you know.”

“Pity, but you can’t blame a woman for trying. After all, who wouldn’t want a skilled doctor and enforcer on her payroll? Especially with my husband’s…accident,” she replied, tone suddenly going sour.

“I assume Jinzo’s challenging your claim to Kimo-ya’s share of the business?”

“Oh, he’s doing more than that—he’s trying to compete against my business. Opening his own club and even a few brothels so he can steal my clientele—rumor has it that’s why he’s being so stingy with his black market clients. His recent investments have put him in the red, and he he’s going to have to do something drastic to recoup the cost.”

For a brief moment Law frowned, though his lips soon turned back up into his calculating, sadistic grin. “Until then, his broken promises could earn him quite a few enemies.”

“Oh yes. I hear X Drake in particular was extremely pissed that Jinzo didn’t have his money today.”

“He was even more so when I told him that there’s no way he’d planned on paying his asking price.”

Haiko tsked. “Oh dear. It would be such a shame if some frustrated client were to cross Jinzo’s path before his latest business venture can properly take off.”

Behind them, Nami swallowed audibly, catching onto their intentions. Law glanced at her over his shoulder before returning his attention to Haiko. “Now’s not a great time to talk business, but perhaps we could continue our chat after the show. Jinzo’s trying to screw over a lot of treacherous people, myself included, and while I’m not interested in your job offer, I’d be happy to negotiate a deal that could benefit us both greatly.”

Her blood red lips curled upwards, eyes alight with interest. “Meet me in my office at nine-thirty sharp—it would be a pleasure doing business with you.”

“Before you go, I want to introduce you to my date,” he drawled, gently tugging Nami out of her seat. “Haiko-ya, this is Cat Thief Nami.”

“Ah, the woman who swindled Jinzo out of a lot of money,” the businesswoman replied, pleased smile fixated on the younger woman as she shook her hand.

“Does everybody know about that?” Nami squeaked.

“Oh, darling, it was the best piece of news I’ve heard all day. And not everyone knows—yet. I just happen to have a few eyes and ears stationed close to him so he doesn’t try to do to me what he did to my darling Kimo. I may not be able to prove he was involved, but it never hurts to be ready for anything.”

“Very true,” Law agreed. “So, I’ll see you at nine-thirty?”

Haiko blew him a kiss as she sauntered off. “Absolutely. And as thanks for embarrassing that piece of shit, your drinks are on me tonight. Keep it up, Miss Cat Thief, and you might just earn a VIP membership here, too.”

Nami couldn’t keep herself from staring as the woman left. Beautiful and glamourous though she was, she totally believed Haiko was the sort who would slit a man’s throat with a smile. She had a dangerous aura about her, and given how casually she and Law spoke, Nami was certain an ill wind was blowing.

“You two are going to do something to Jinzo, aren’t you?” she asked, sweat prickling at the back of her neck. She had no sympathy for the man, but she hoped whatever Law was planning didn’t involve her; the last thing she wanted was to get caught in the middle of an underworld power struggle.

“Mmmm, don’t worry your pretty little head over that, sweetheart,” Law purred as he tugged her towards the stage. His eyes were half-lidded and inviting, and Nami’s breath caught in her throat as her heart stuttered. Maybe it was just the aftereffects of Haiko’s performance, but the heat between her legs begged her not to resist him. “Ikkaku’s due to steal you away from me soon, so I’m not wasting another second.”

“What are you doing?” she asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

One hand clasped hers as the other wrapped around her lower back. “It dawned on me that, with how busy you were pick-pocketing rich assholes at the gala, I never got a dance with you. We’re going to remedy that. And wouldn’t you know it?” he rasped, leaning in so close his lips ever-so-slightly brushed her ear. “They’re about to play my song.”

Though initially thrown by his sudden change of tone and forwardness, Nami quickly realized from the feeling of hard wood beneath their feet that he’d led them onto the dancefloor. Before she could protest or break away, Hiroshi noticed them, tossing a wink and pointing them out to the male singer from earlier. Oscar quietly chuckled as he handed over the microphone, even giving a playful bow before stepping over to a xylophone.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are graced with the presence of the man who inspired this next song, the one and only Dr. Heart Stealer!”

As the music began, Law swept her into a dance, easily leading her in time to the lively beat.

Why is everyone so impatient? Recklessly jumping into things Crushing backstabbing

To achieve your goal Sometimes you just need to dive deep, hide yourself Scan the situation, that’s all

Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Look into the mirror and see Are you who you really are? Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Shall I steal what’s most precious to you?

Dr. Heart Stealer

Once you’re addicted, you can never escape…

As Hiroshi crooned the lyrics, Nami forced herself to focus on keeping pace with Law, and not on the surprising suggestiveness of the lyrics or the heat of the doctor’s palm on her exposed back. There were mere inches between them—enough space to properly move, but still so close that their breaths and body heat mingled. He was a surprisingly good dancer, too, gently guiding her across the polished floor in time to the beat, giving the occasional spin and dip, all while those golden, hungry eyes never left hers.

If something’s important, hide it away Once you shout about it out loud It’s just too naive, so sickening

Waiting is not a futile thing With enough clinical data You won’t make a mistake, there’ll be no trouble

Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM It’ll be over once your space’s safety is breached Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Because I know what’s most precious to you

Dr. Heart Stealer

Once I set my target, I’ll definitely get it

Don’t run away, come join me Show me how you dance

Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Look into the mirror and see Are you who you really are? Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Shall I steal what’s most precious to you?

Dr. Heart Stealer

Once you’re addicted, you can never escape…

At last the song came to an end, and while Nami wanted to blame her breathlessness on the dancing, she knew at least a little of it had to do with the way Law was looking at her. His intense stare sizzled her skin pleasantly, and she had no choice but to admit that, as much as she wanted to fight it, the song was right.

If she let herself get addicted to him, she’d never escape.

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littlemindblabbles · 5 years ago

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The Bet

Pairing: Wonwoo x Junhui

What is this feeling?

Junhui could literally feel butterflies exploding in his stomach as Wonwoo continued to stare mesmerisingly at him. His slight crush for Wonwoo was not helping whatsoever.

“H-hi Wonwoo, shall we head to class together?” He mumbled nervously, his stammering back and worse than ever. Wonwoo finally stepped out of his trance, giving him the usual smirk before gesturing at Junhui to lead the way to class.

“I expected Seungkwan went all crazy and dragged you to buy new clothes, I am borrowing that leather jacket one day by the way. But I didn’t think you would agree to getting your hair cut and dyed. The red looks stunning though, and your braces! Wow, someone is about to get popular. The drama club will have no choice but the accept you now, especially once they see your acting skills.” Oh right, the drama club. Honestly Junhui forgot the main reason he had this drastic change, once Seungkwan mentioned Wonwoo, all he had been thinking about was what the dark-haired boy seated next to him would think. It made him over the moon to see Wonwoo look at him like that. It was different, to finally be the source of envious looks and admiring glances, a drastic change from the bullying he used to get. If this kept up, Junhui could really get used to it, he finally felt less out of place whenever he talked to Wonwoo.

“Thanks Wonwoo, the drama club said they could get me to read some lines after school today, to see if I would fit in.”

“Oh you’ll definitely get in kitten. How about we go for dinner afterwards to celebrate?Thers’s this new Italian place, and I know you mentioned you love pasta.”

“Dinner? But today is Monday, don’t we usually have our ‘literature tuition’ dinners on Thursday? Don’t we usually eat at less fancy places, that’s like the kinda restaurant you go for d-oh, are you asking me out on a date?” Newfound confidence or not, Junhui blushed beet red. If he got the wrong idea, he’s never going to talk to Wonwoo again.

“Yes kitten, I’m asking you out on a date. Will you say yes?” A little of Wonwoo’s cool confidence faltered, and he looked almost anxious as he waited for Junhui’s reply. Trying his hardest not to freak out, all Junhui could managed to get out was,

“Yes Wonwoo, I’ll go out with you tonight. I finish my audition at 5, then I’ll go home and meet you there at 7?”

“That’s not how dates work kitten, I’ll pick you up at 6.30.”

---

Of course, the entire drama club was impressed with Junhui’s talent and begged him to join immediately. But his joy over getting in was overshadowed by his increasing nervousness over his first ever date tonight. On one hand, while he was ecstatic that Wonwoo felt the same way, even in such a short time, his mind was panicking over what to wear, how should he act, etc. Since it was a date, he can’t talk to Wonwoo like how he usually does right? He wouldn’t want Wonwoo to think he was friend-zoning him, goodness that was the last thing Junhui wanted to do.

Precisely at 6.30, the doorbell rang. Junhui took it as a sign to stop meddling with his button-down shirt and just accept the fact that this was the best he was gonna look tonight. Thank goodness he came to Korea alone, he would have died of embarrassment if his parents or his younger brother opened the door.

“Hey Wonwoo, I’m ready. Shall we go there now?” Wonwoo was wearing a similar outfit to him, Junhui breathed a sigh of relief. One of his biggest concerns was either overdressing or underdressing for this occasion. Wonwoo took out his hand from behind, and a bouquet of flowers appeared in Junhui’s face. Lavender, Junhui’s favourite, which he had briefly mentioned while talking to the latter last week, it touched Junhui’s heart to know that he remembered their conversations.

“Thank you so much Wonwoo, I’ll put these in a vase when I get home, they’re really so beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you.” Usually when cheesy lines like this were said in movies, Junhui couldn’t help but cringe and roll his eyes. He felt like the world’s biggest hypocrite when he literally almost melted as Wonwoo said that to him with a soft smile on his face. “Shall we then?” Wonwoo asked, sticking out his hand for Junhui to grab.

Trying his hardest not to skip towards his date, Junhui nervously placed his arm through Wonwoo’s waiting arms as they walked towards the sidewalk where Wonwoo parked his car.

Wonwoo was the perfect gentleman, stopping to open Junhui’s door in the passenger seat before walking over to the other side. Junhui knew Wonwoo was well to do, but before sitting in the leather seats of Wonwoo’s car, he didn't know how rich he was. He immediately felt even more nervous than before because he didn’t actually know where they were eating, only that Wonwoo had recommended it and knowing him, it was someplace expensive. Junhui couldn’t expect his date to pay, but what if he couldn’t afford it?

Sensing his date’s nervousness, Wonwoo gently placed a hand over Junhui’s giving a sweet smile when Junhui’s head whipped up at him.

“Relax kitten, it’s just me. Tonight will be fun, I promise.”

Note: Wonwoo seems so sweet, but remember about the bet o.O He could be an even better actor than Junnie!

Please check my masterlist for more fics!

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suitofvibraniumarmor · 4 years ago

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Yours Truly [Part Nine]

Summary: Layla leaves for Minnesota with her grandparents, which allows Sadie and Chris to explore the feelings between them. Pairing: Chris Pratt x OFC, Chris Evans x OFC Word Count: 2115 Warnings: FLUFF. A/N: This fic was previously posted on my multi-fandom account; in honor of OC Appreciation Day, I figured I would queue it all up for your reading pleasure throughout the day! This was a collab with @captain-s-rogers , and I will link her chapters at the end of all of my posts! Some GIFs were difficult to find again, so if there’s no credit, they’re from Google Image Search or from the original post.

July 9

Caroline,

I … what do I say? Is it awful that I’m excited you finally got some good sex? Okay, so it’s not the greatest of circumstances, and Charlie isn’t horrible, but Caroline – Chris is perfect for you. If I could handpick someone for you, it’d be Chris Evans! Handsome, obviously interested in politics and the country but not necessarily a straight-up politician. He gets your life but he would keep you grounded in the non-political world, too. OH! And if you guys got together, you’d be this amazing husband-wife team, running the country. Tell me that’s not your dream life!

By the way, stop thinking about what other people would think. I know you! STOP thinking that RIGHT NOW. Neither the media nor the public is ever completely pleased with the President and the way he lives his life, so don’t let that dictate anything you’re doing. Live YOUR best and happiest life.

Okay. I’m ending this letter here because I’ve been watching TV while I write this (Layla left for Minnesota with her grandparents this morning) and I just saw a clip about you and Chris. Hot but … yeah. I’m just gonna call.

Yours truly,

Sadie

Feeling under the weather for a few days after Fourth of July, Daniel told the family they would put off the trip back to Minnesota for a few days. It was no big deal; just more time for Chris to spend with his family and more time for his parents to get to know Sadie.

By the time the morning came for Daniel, Kathleen, and Layla to begin their road trip, Layla was on pins and needles. She had convinced herself that once she left, her father and Sadie would – well, actually, Sadie was pretty sure that Layla had no idea what she really wanted to happen, the five-year-old only knew that she wanted them to be together.

“Sadie,” Layla whispered, coming into Sadie’s room before the sun was even up, “I’m ready to go now.”

Sadie forced her eyes to open. She turned on the light and took in Layla’s appearance: mismatched shirt and shorts, and boots on her feet. Her hair was still a mess from a night of excited sleeping. Sadie chuckled.

“Take off your boots and come up here with me, silly girl,” Sadie said, turning off the light and patting the mattress. Layla did as she was told, cuddling up to Sadie. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too. But I’m going to bring you a surprise from Minnesota. Oh! And Daddy has a surprise for you, too.”

“I do like surprises.”

“Good.”

Layla was asleep again not too long after that, but Sadie was awake for some time after, wondering what Chris’s surprise for her could be.

Chris and Sadie watched the travelers pull away from the house in the small camper, head down the gravel driveway, and, finally, out onto the dirt road.

“Can’t believe she’s gonna be gone for a whole week. I’ve got a couple of interviews, but I’m going to miss her like crazy,” Sadie sighed.

“Mmhmm.” Chris was still staring down the driveway, arms crossed over his chest. He seemed distracted by other thoughts, and it suddenly occurred to her why that would be the case. Sadie felt a little selfish; after watching Emily leave, no doubt watching Layla leave, even with his own parents, had to stir up some of those feelings again.

Sadie cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, that was probably insensitive of me. Of course you’re going to –”

Chris turned to her and interrupted her apology. “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?”

“Dinner,” Sadie repeated. “You mean – dinner. Like a date?”

“Yeah, a date.” His voice read confidence but his teeth gnawing on the corner of his bottom lip gave away how nervous he felt.

Sadie licked her lips, an action borne of her own nerves. “Would this be the surprise that Layla told me you had for me?”

“Part of it,” Chris smirked. “I didn’t tell her everything, but I did want to make sure she was going to be okay if I asked you to dinner. Don’t want to give her a complex or anything.”

“Oh,” Sadie nodded. She licked her lips again and nodded. “Yes. I’d love to have dinner with you tonight.”

Chris’s smirk turned into a full-on smile. “Great. Seven-thirty work for you?”

Sadie nodded. “Sure. I’ll be ready.”

Chris nodded and walked around back of the house to get to tending the fields. Sunflowers would be blooming soon, he had told Sadie the other day, so she knew that tending to them now was as important as ever.

Letting her smile break into an ear-to-ear grin once Chris was out of sight, Sadie headed into the house to write a letter to Caroline.

The phone only rang twice before Caroline answered. The friends went right into a discussion about the news piece covering the pictures taken outside of Chris’s house which hinted heavily toward some sort of affair. Sadie couldn’t believe how relieved she felt after finally having a voice conversation with her best friend after so long.

The conversation started to wrap up, but Sadie knew she couldn’t just let it end without updating Caroline on her life as well.

“Uh, since we’re on the subject of love lives …”

“So I was right then, you got Farmer Pratt to fall in love with you,” Caroline chuckled.

Sadie chuckled, too. “He’s not in love, C. But we do – okay, I don’t know which letters you’ve gotten yet, but Layla is spending a week with her grandparents in Minnesota. Chris and I held hands on Fourth of July – I know, that’s no big deal, but it feels like a big deal. As soon as Layla and her grandparents were out of the driveway this morning, he asked if I wanted to have dinner with him. Oh, and did I mention that he has a sunflower farm? I’m rambling. I need to stop.”

“A sunflower farm? Seriously? It’s like you were destined to find this job and him. So, he asked you to have dinner. What did you say? Yes, I hope. Is he taking you out? Are you staying at the house? I mean, isn’t this technically your first time alone with him since you started the job?”

“I said yes. I’m not sure I’d be capable of saying no. Yeah, except for a couple of times that Layla was in town with her grandparents, it’s our first time alone with each other. I’m still staying at the house because I’m looking for jobs in the area. Is that a horrible idea?” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Why am I freaking out? Also, I’m assuming we’re going out. I should have asked.”

“Good, I’m glad you said yes! And I don’t think that’s a horrible idea at all. Looking for jobs in the area is a great idea, especially if things work out between the two of you. You’re freaking out because you like him, he’s technically your boss, and he owns a damn sunflower farm! It’s like he was made for you. But try not to stress out about it. I’m positive that it’s gonna be an awesome night for you!”

“You’re right. I just need to calm down,” Sadie said, letting out a deep breath. “And you know what? I think things are going to be fine for you, too. You and Chris. Together. I can feel it. This is our summer. Or something.”

“I don’t know about me and Chris but I know it’s gonna be great for you. You’re right, though, it is our summer. Or something.”

They both chuckled, promised not to get into the habit of calling each other, and to stick to letters for the most part going forward. Once the call disconnected, Sadie set her phone down on the couch next to her and let out a few deep breaths. With time to herself since Layla was gone, she decided to go into town and find something to wear for her date with Chris.

At seven-thirty on the dot, Sadie made her way into the front room. Chris was waiting for her there, dressed in crisp, dark blue jeans and a cream-colored button up shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbows. It wasn’t unlike his outfit for Layla’s birthday, save for the tie. He had cleaned up his facial hair, but left some scruff behind. His hair was styled with pomade, and he smelled so good, Sadie’s nerves instantly multiplied.

“I brought this outfit with me for interviews, actually,” Sadie said, somehow feeling underdressed in her blue-and-white striped dress with the brown sandal wedges. “I went into town to find something that would work for a date, but I wasn’t happy with anything they had so I just –”

Chris stepped forward and took her hand. “I think you look amazing.”

Her rambling stopped; she didn’t bother to hide her smile or her blush. “Thank you. So do you.”

“Thanks. You ready to eat?”

Sadie nodded. “Yes. Where are we going?”

Chris squeezed her hand. “Come with me.”

He led her to the back patio. A table for two was set up there, dinner on covered plates, and a few sunflowers in a vase in the middle of the table. Chris pulled out her chair for her, pushed it back in once she was seated, then took up the chair across from her.

“I know this probably isn’t what you had in mind when you accepted, but – I don’t know. I got it into my head that I wanted to do this for you and couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

Sadie smiled at him. “Chris, this is so perfect. I didn’t tell you when you told me about what you farm, but I really love sunflowers.”

“Those are the first blooms of the season,” Chris informed her, pointing to the flowers.

“They’re beautiful,” Sadie replied. “Thank you, for doing all of this.”

Chris nodded. “My pleasure. Shall we eat?”

Sadie giggled at his feigned English accent. “Yes, let’s.”

They carried on good conversation while they ate, and continued over coffee afterwards. Chris set up the iPod speaker and let music play quietly while they sat across from the other, getting to know each other in a way they had toed the line on with Layla around.

“I love this song,” Sadie smiled, humming along to one of her favorite country songs.

Chris stood and offered her his hand. “Then we should dance to it.”

Sadie slipped her hand into his, nervous all over again. “I haven’t danced with anyone in a while.”

“Me either. Let’s see if we can figure it out together.”

As it turned out, after a few moments of stumbling, they found an easy position to hold each other, and swayed back and forth to the music. Sadie held Chris’s gaze as the song began to build up, and Chris willingly stared right back.

“You’re something else, Sadie Coleman. Layla and I always had each other, but you – you filled a hole in our home that I don’t think we even knew was there.”

Sadie shook her head. “You’ve held her together. I just taught her the alphabet and some numbers.”

“You taught her way more than that – academically and otherwise. And you’ve taught me a thing or two.”

“Oh, really?” Sadie chuckled. “What’s that?”

Before Chris could answer her, a clap of thunder sounded from the sky overhead; a shower of rain immediately followed. The couple went into action, picking up the things that couldn’t be left out in the rain and rushed them inside.

With the things on the kitchen counter or in the sink, they looked at each other, and burst into laughter, until the next boom of thunder, when Sadie shuddered.

“Cold?” Chris asked, pushing a wet tendril of hair behind her ear.

Sadie shook her head and blushed. “It’s the thunder.”

Chris slid an arm around her waist. “If I kissed you, would it help you forget the thunder?”

Sadie nodded, the only affirmation she was able to give at that moment. Chris cupped her chin with his free hand, tilting her mouth upwards to meet his.

She was ready for the soft touch of his lips against hers. She was ready for both of his strong arms to tighten around her, pulling her closer. She was ready to find the hair at the back of his neck and comb her fingers over it while they kissed. She was not ready for what happened when he pulled away from her.

“I love you, Sadie.”

Part Ten

#chris pratt #chris evans #fanfiction #oc appreciation day 2020 #new to this blog

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mercifuldeaths · 6 years ago

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Vertigo: Chapter 3: Alone Together

Vertigo: Chapter 3

Alone Together

This fic is in progress.

Jim Mason x Reader

Warnings for this chapter: Graphic descriptions of drug use, nsfw content

Summary: Y/N tried to adjust to life in PV and falls into a certain crowd and bad habits. Jim’s looking for something new to take his mind off things at home.

Notes: I’m not super pleased with the smut, but it is what it is. I’m intentionally leaving Y/N’s character pretty ambiguous as this is Jim’s story. She’s kinda just the catalyst for events later. Thank you for the positive responses, I love all of you!

(Editing is a bit sloppy-I’ve had a crazy few days but wanted to get this out for you all. Forgive mistakes, please.)

Also, finally moving into longer chapters!

Word Count: 4.7K

The party was hot, sticky. Walking into the house was not dissimilar to walking into a sauna. Writhing bodies were moving in the living room, the coffee table pushed out of the way while some preferred to sit on the couch pulling cigarettes out of their packs, faces outlined by lighters. Y/N didn’t necessarily want to come, but it was almost to blend in, get closer to Chad for reasons she'd rather not disclose to those who weren’t close to her.

Back home, she still considered it home, these parties had been a regular occurrence, except she knew almost everyone there. She was what some would call the life of the party. Here, she was still going through growing pains of transplanting across the country.

Walking into the mess of people, she headed straight to the kitchen-inevitably where the liquor would be-her first poison of the evening. Yeah, she had pregamed, a few shots here, a beer there. But she wasn’t feeling anything more than a slight buzz, a lightness in her field of vision, deepened breaths. She knew it was going to take quite a bit more to get to the level she wanted to be at.

She poured out a generous serving of tequila into one of the red Solo cups that had been conveniently placed. A few ice cubes topped her drink and she downed about half of it in one large sip. Surveying the room, she saw a few familiar faces. Some Bay Boys gave her a friendly nod of recognition while some of the girls gave withering glances. Self consciously she glanced down at her jean shorts and crop top ensemble, perhaps a bit underdressed. She rolled her eyes. Bitches. She had better things to do.

The music, some obscure trap stuff, blasted from the speakers around the house. It was strangely comforting, the fact that 3,000 miles away parties were all still the same.

“Bryan!” she shouted over the music and one of the Bay Boys turned to face her, away from the small group that had congregated around her. “What’s good?” she felt the liquor move her closer to the group, moving her against her own accord, moving her into the direction of people she knew would only hurt her in the long run.

“Oh, nothing. You know how it is.” He rolled his deep-set eyes and she arbitrarily thought that she had never seen him with his hair dry.

“I feel that,” she laughed along at the nonsense that one of the girls nearby had said, but entirely missed the comment. “You have what we talked about, right?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” he pulled a baggie out of his pocket, a few joints pre-rolled.

“Thanks, you know how it is-moving.” He didn’t but went along with it.

“No worries. Chad has the other shit-he’ll be around later,” Bryan smiled. He really wasn’t too bad, she thought. Or maybe it was the fact that he was getting her a new plug this far from home.

“Awesome. I’ll see you around,” she went to take her leave, the baggie firmly in her grasp.

“Totally. No more snaking waves, okay? A peace offering,” he gestured to her hand that held the joints.

“No promises!” she called over her shoulder, already heading upstairs.

All of the houses in Palos Verdes had the same layout so she felt as if she already knew where she was going. She dodged a few couples perched on the carpeted steps, leading to the second floor. She downed the rest of the tequila in her cup and ditched it in a stack that was forming on the top step. One of the joints already found its way to her lips as she searched out for an exit to the rooftop.

She waded into the bathroom, a girl sprawled out in front of the toilet, puking her guts out. Trying to be discrete, Y/N tiptoed around her, and the latch on the window was easy to undo. Finally gasping in the fresh air, she made her way onto the red-tiled roof. Her trusty Bic was in her pocket and she fished it out to light up. Yeah, it wasn’t much, but another thing to take her one step further from reality was worth its weight in gold. She sighed out the smoke from her lungs, her head already cloudy.

Without thinking, she leaned back, laying against the tile that dug uncomfortably into her back. Continuing to take regular pulls, reveling in the quietness, she started looking to the stars. It wasn’t something she did often, but she tried naming some of the constellations, recalling the map that once hung in her childhood room.

“Nah, that one is Orion.”

She nearly screamed, her bloodshot eyes widened at her newly acquired companion. He looked familiar, again probably only able to recognize him with wet hair and a surfboard tucked under one arm. To calm herself she automatically took another hit. “God,” she laughed out, recognizing her own paranoia. “You can’t just do that to people sitting on a roof. Could’ve fallen” She nodded to the perfectly manicured lawn below them.

“Oh, sorry,” he seemed to drift off, not unlike herself at the moment she supposed. “But, yeah. That one is Orion. And that one is Sirius.” He nodded to the night sky too generally for her to discern which grouping of stars he was referring to.

“Cool.” She started to lean back again but propped herself up on her elbows. There was a comfortable pause. “When did you get here?” she asked for her own curiosity.

“Like five minutes ago,” he laughed. “You kinda suck at astronomy.”

She laughed even though it really wasn’t funny, but her fingers were tingling and her head was hazy, so everything was okay. She nodded, perhaps a bit too exaggeratedly, to agree with...what was his name?

“Jim,” he shared simply. Oh, she didn’t know she asked that out loud. “You’re Y/N, right? I've seen you down at Lunada.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “That’s me.” She turned to look at her companion for the first time, realizing that maybe it was a bit rude to not have made eye contact yet. But it didn’t seem like he minded. He had a denim jacket wrapped around his shoulders and he was sprawled out a little too comfortable for the height they were perched at.

“You got a light?” he gestured with the unlit blunt between his long fingers.

“Yeah,” she fumbled around in her shorts but decided that the pocket was a bit much to handle right then. He noticed and let out a small laugh.

“We can just share instead,” he suggested and she handed over the joint she had been pulling from, scooting closer to him. He held it to his lips and she couldn’t help but feel a small chill go through her.

Yeah, she recognized him now. Medina’s brother-the hot one, her mind supplied. Really the only one that hadn't directly called her out for snaking, or surfing there, or being a girl, or existing in the same space as the bay boys. She nodded, mostly to herself, but Jim was saying something she didn’t catch.

“Why are you on my roof?” she asked, cutting him off.

“Your roof?”

“Oh, I mean, you know what I mean.” She gestured to the area around them, “ ‘s a weird place to be.”

“Hiding from my girlf-” he cut himself off. “From this- girl.” Even he didn’t know the right words for what he was with Heather. She absolutely thought them more serious than they were and Jim just didn’t want to have that conversation quite yet. So yeah, he was hiding. The layout of all the houses in Palos Verdes was the same, after all. He knew right where to go if he didn’t want to be found. He did it enough at home, he was practically an expert.

“Ohhh,” Y/N nodded in understanding. “She’s looking for you?”

“Yeah,” he waved his phone and Heather’s contact info was lit up, calling him. He declined the call. “I don’t even like her that much.”

“Ouch,” Y/N bit out. “Remind me not to get...involved with you.” It was his turn to bite out a laugh and pass back the joint that was quickly burning out. At that, she realized how close they were sitting. She swallowed on a dry throat and felt the heat radiating from him.

“I promise I’m not mean. She’s just,” he hesitated to look for the right words. “A. Lot.”

“I can see that,” she murmured and he declined yet another call from Heather. What she believed to be a moment of clarity stuck her. “Jim?”

“Yeah?” his head lolled to look at her fully, his hair flipping to cover one eye.

“Why does everyone here hate me?”

“Nobody hates you, Y/N. They’re intimidated because you’re honest. It’s not a common trait in PV,” he shifted even closer to her. “And I certainly don’t hate you.”

“This is the first conversation we’ve ever had. How do you know?” she shot back, ice leaking into her voice.

“I watch you. I watch you when you talk and when you surf, and when you laugh with Medina.” He looked at Y/N dead in the eyes, a little self conscious at what just slipped past his lips. “I don’t hate you. I just know it, that I don’t hate you and I wouldn’t hate you.” He leaned all the way back to lay down. She followed suit but kept her head turned to him. “See? You’re so nice. You’re sharing.” He looked to the joint she still held and Y/N let out a small giggle.

She took another hit and leaned close to him, the mix of alcohol and marijuana dulling her better senses. “Sharing,” she whispered without exhaling, keeping the smoke in her lungs for an extra second while Jim lined his lips to hers. The smoke left her mouth in light curls, which Jim easily inhaled, shotgunning anything she had to offer.

“Sharing,” he mumbled and took what was most likely the last hit off the joint, returning the favor. She leaned in and could taste the beer and weed coming off his breath. On instinct, her hand threaded itself into his disheveled hair. It was impossible to tell who closed the gap, but their lips met in the center. They both remained laying on their sides but Y/N wiggled closer to him, still. He pushed a leg between her thighs and she sighed into his mouth. His tongue glossed over her bottom lip, silently asking permission which she gladly granted.

She gently licked into him, placing the most gentle kisses along his jawline, cheekbones, and brushed their noses together. His hands found themselves on her hips, pressing her into him and he found himself unable to stop a small moan from escaping his lips, the high making everything all that more sensitive.

He noticed her pull away before he noticed the incessant phone ringing that came after, breaking the fog that had fallen over them. However, it wasn’t his this time, but hers. He looked to her with hooded eyelids and admired the way the light of her phone highlighted her cheekbones, her brow bone, the curve of her nose. Her eyes closed in resignation and she gave her head a gentle shake. “I have to go really fast, just some stuff I have to deal with,” she placed her hand on his cheek and he leaned into the touch without realizing it. “This probably isn’t the ideal location for this anyway,” she laughed lightly and looked around, surveying the bumpy tile and their precarious position.

As much as he liked the way her body curved into his, her warmth, he knew she was right. His tipsy mind disagreed insistently, however. “Jim,” she tapped his face and he realized that at some point he must have closed his eyes. “Come inside, I don’t like you being out here on your own.” She once again eyed the drop. He nodded blearily and took her lead climbing back through the bathroom window.

Some time passed and he couldn’t say where she had gone, or really where he had been. All he knew then was that he was on the kitchen floor with a bottle of cheap vodka in his hand and some of the other guys around him.

He vaguely remembered Medina asking him to come home, but he managed to evade her persuasion. In the back of his mind, he hoped she got home safe. Jim supposed that Heather must have left at some point, as well. And she wasn’t calling anymore, so that was a relief.

Despite the bottle in his hand, which he had clearly drank from going by the burning in the back of his throat, he was just at a pleasant buzz. The room swirled comfortably, mumbles from other people’s conversations, the thrumming beat of the music all acted as a backdrop to his floating thoughts.

Like being plunged into ice water, he remembered the small bag in his pocket. He’d used his remaining coke in the past few weeks but he’d remembered to top up on some mdma and xanax. He hated himself for how fast he stood, the room almost coming down around him, but one of the guys caught his shoulders to steady him. They shouted something unintelligible and ruffled Jim’s hair as he started picking his way through the crowd to find a slightly more secluded area.

He travelled upstairs, similar to how he had earlier but opted for a bedroom instead. He wasn’t sure if he’d manage to stay on the roof this time.

The room was small but packed with bodies, most of them sitting and smoking-probably trying to hotbox the place if their shouts at him for opening the door were anything to go by. It was an absolutely pleasant surprise to see Y/N sitting in the far corner of the room. Granted, she was surrounded by some of the other bay boys and some of the teenagers from around town. Maybe some were trying to welcome the new girl, but he was sure that most of the guys had other intentions.

He slowly made his way over there, not because of her, probably.

“Y/N, hey,” he called to her when he was close enough.

“Jim!” she smiled but he knew it was just the liquor. “Come, sit.” She tried to move over, but there was hardly any room. He saw her inch closer to Alex and his hand travel up her thigh. He almost retched.

To his surprise, she pushed Alex’s hand off nonchalantly and Jim continued to wade into the cluster, various friends giving shouts or hollers to his presence. He managed to sit across from her, his back leaning onto the boxspring of the bed.

“Did you do your...whatever it was?” he managed to ask.

“Oh, yeah. All taken care of. I’m free for anything now.” She grinned and he could feel his cheeks redden. “Are you still hiding?”

He hesitated before answering with a nod. “You shouldn’t have to hide.” She shrugged.

They managed inebriated small talk about his friends, the waves, and local gossip before Jim remembered the whole reason he came upstairs. The others had mostly dispersed and it was just the pair in the corner, sitting facing each other.

He fished the clear bag out of his front pocket and eyes the small yellow pills sitting within. He took one between his fingers and placed it in the back of his throat before washing it down with a sip of beer that he didn’t notice he was holding.

“Heyyy,” she eyed him skeptically. He immediately felt like a moron. Not only did he probably fuck up any chance he had with her but now she was going to think him a crack head or some shit. He started to attempt to explain himself but was interrupted with a small “Share?”

Relief washed over him and he managed a laugh, his blue eyes rolling. “Really?” he looked at her uncertain.

“Really. Be nice,” she said softly and crawled towards him on all fours. Jim felt himself harden under her gaze. He willed the tightness in his jeans away when she came even closer, kneeling in front of him, knees splayed open. Presenting a pill in his palm, he continued to eye her.

The pill sat in the center of his palm, offered to her but instead of taking it in her thin fingers, she grabbed his wrist. She leaned to bush her nose against his inner wrist and his spine tingled. “Y/N,” he managed to choke out. Humming, she licked a small stripe across where the pill was. He caught her gaze, heavy and dark, the small pill stuck to the tip of her tongue.

She quickly swallowed and moved impossibly closer to Jim, depositing herself on his lap, straddling him. “Thanks,” her voice husky and she ground her hips down into him. He let out a strangled moan and grabbed the back of her head, guiding her mouth to his. All teeth, they were desperate for each other, unable to coordinate their movements while the party still swirled on behind them.

Before Jim could really comprehend anything, he found himself in the back seat of his car, sprawled out. He couldn’t quite remember the walk there, but he didn’t mind. Jim was rolling and judging by the size of Y/N’s pupils and hurried movements, Jim would wager she was, too.

Immediately after the door was slammed shut, she was nuzzling him through his jeans, mouthing at his covered cock. He undid his pants and shimmied them down so he was just in his boxers. His hands found themselves tangled in her long hair, pressing her into him, desperate for any friction. Her open mouth wetting the thin cotton and making him even harder than before. She was letting out the smallest signs, the vibrations sending shivers up his spine, the pills they had taken making everything all the more sensitive.

“You really want me, don’t you?” he mumbled as she started to pull his boxers down, releasing his thick cock, already leaking with precum. In response she paused, and locked eyes with him before licking a thick stipe from his balls to his tip.

“Yeah,” she sighed, letting her lips ghost over his tip. She gave the weeping tip a small kitten lick, just to tease Jim who was practically already falling apart in the palms of her hands. “Just not as bad as you want me.” With that, she swallowed him completely and Jim keened into the sensation.

“Jesus,” he whispered, trying to keep it together as she slid her hot mouth over him. She was messy, hot, and everything he needed to distract himself. His hips started gently thrusting into her warm mouth when she popped off and let an obscene trail of saliva connect her swollen bottom lip to his aching cock. She rested her head on his thigh, leaving small kisses on the it.

She managed to slide out of her shorts in the awkward position between the front and back seats and slid her own finger to tease her slit while going back to work on Jim, feeling his weighted cock on her tongue, his tip brushing the back of her throat. She could feel herself getting wet, embarrassingly so. He was the hot one and from watching how he moved in his slicked wetsuit, she felt like she already knew his body.

A contented hum escaped her when she slid her slender finger into herself. Jim pulled her off and looked at her, open mouthed, between his legs, with her own finger in her cunt. He leaned over to her, slightly and rumbled, “I do believe that’s my job,” as he pulled her slicked hand out from her wetness. She let him take her hand to his mouth where he sucked her wet fingers, moaning from the taste. “You’re sweet,” he said as he kissed the tip of her pointer finger, when he was satisfied.

She found herself gasping when he grabbed her from under her thighs to rest hovering over him, straddling his thighs, his cock so close to her dripping center. She returned the favor of sucking on his fingers when he presented them to her. Unconsciously, she found herself, humming around them, as she got them wet with her saliva. Her hips tried for friction, knowing his cock was so close but he sensed that and held her away from him, whispering, “No, no not yet.”

“Please, I need you in me,” she gasped out, knowing she sounded desperate. Maybe it was the X, but god everything just felt so good. Too good. So good, she was futilely trying for any kind of contact. She tried to convince him with open mouth kisses on his neck and shoulders. At some point he had taken his shirt off, but she couldn’t quite remember. Not that she cared. Sure, everything was blurring and spinning and moving and that’s what made everything better than good. Jim was feeling the same, she could tell. Desperate for her, pupils blown and slack jawed, but trying to play it cool, tease her a little.

Jim’s now wet fingers came to the center of her and started to slide over her clit. She let out a shudder, sighed near the shell of his ear and she knew he was starting to lose patience, truly wanting to be buried to the hilt inside her. He didn’t enter her with his fingers, though, wanting his cock to be the only thing to be inside her that night.

“Jim,” she gasped when he finally placed his cock closer to her, finally touching her, he coated himself in her wetness.

“Hmm?” He looked all to pleased with himself, eyes darker than she remembered. “You want me in you? You want to be full of me?” he asked, playing innocent. She could only let out a shaky sigh and nod, resisting just stuffing herself full of him then. She’d play his game. Only because he seemed to damn good at it.

“Please, please,” she moaned and started grinding into him properly. He seemed to accept the movement and dug his fingers into her hips, increasing the pressure between the two of them. He almost snarled when she gave a particularly hard circle of her hips.

“You think it’s going to be that easy? I know what you’re up to,” he said but didn’t stop her movements. In fact, by the way his hands travelled to her ass and gave a firm squeeze, she thought he quite liked what she was doing.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, genuinely confused, but not caring enough to stop the swivel of her hips, the small bites she was leaving across his chest.

“The way you walk around that beach? My beach? In that little bikini?” He groaned into her chest and started pulling her crop top up over her shoulders. His teeth toyed with her nipple.

“Oh, so you really watch me, then?” she challenged, pulling back to look him in the eyes.

He maintained steady eye contact as he entered her in one quick thrust, causing her head to fall back and eyes to flutter shut. “Jesus, Jim,” she moaned out, her head still thrown back feeling so full of him. He gave her breast a bite, loving the fact that she would be marked by him come tomorrow. His fingers dug into the flesh of her ass and he pressed impossibly deeper into her before lifting her and slamming back into her again.

He set the pace fast, needing release sooner rather than later. Both of them, tripping and needy for sensation, he was really doing them a favor. He was rougher than she had expected, but that certainly didn’t mean she wasn’t enjoying herself. Feeling him fill her completely, stretch her just perfectly, she was blissed out. Between his quick, deep thrusts, and sloppy bites, she was feeling herself slip.

“You walk around in that little bikini like you own the goddamn place,” his voice husky, said into her neck, leaving more purple bruises in his wake. He unsuccessfully tried to hold back a groan, “God, you’re tight.” His pace was markedly sloppier, not that she minded as she was also fighting to keep to the determined rhythm. Something about his tone, the timbre of his voice shot pleasure through her.

It had to be the E. Everything was bright but blurry and sharp- and everything was opposite but made sense- and was perfect and their minds ran faster than their bodies could keep up- and it was perfect. It was exactly what Jim needed. Her. To fucking own her, even if just for the night.

“You know the other guys have tried to get with me, right?” She didn’t know why she said that. Perhaps loosened inhibitions? Her heart nearly stopped when she heard herself say it, almost like an observer, no longer in complete control of what she says or does.

“Oh I know, baby. I hear the things they say they want to do to you, but I also know that I’m the only one that’s going to do them to you.” His long fingers traveled back around to her front to circle her clit. “I know I’m the only one that can make you feel this good.” He gripped her ass tighter with his other hand and she rode him impossibly harder, happy she let the confession slip since she got that reaction out of him.

It hadn’t been long, and she knew that, but the build up if the evening had been so much. Feeling her heard start to swim on that rooftop with him had been enough to put her in the mood and from then, she was craving him inside her. The along with her heightened senses, she felt warmth pool in her, the familiar twinge between her thighs.

“Jim, I think I’m gonna-”

“Come on me. I want that pretty little cunt to come on my cock,” he grunted as his hips snapped into her relentlessly.

She did. She felt herself unravel, clenching around his length as he buried himself completely in her.

“Christ, Y/N,” Jim moaned out as he could feel her clenching but still riding him, giving herself over to her sensitivity. She seemed to know what he was getting at because she mumbled a small, “Go ahead,” against his lips.

He came inside her tightness while her mouth, on his, swallowed his moans, her teeth nibbling at his bottom lip.

He was sure that she’d have bruises on her hips and ass from how hard he was gripping her, but he just didn’t want to let go. Jim also stirred from the thought that he would probably be decorated in her marks, come the morning. It was some sort of juvenile pride, the fact that he got with her before the other guys could, not for their lack of trying.

He pulled out of her, more gentle than he had been the entire night and he suddenly thought that maybe he was too rough, but she looked particularly blissed out so he figured it was fine. He had a bad habit of playing a little too hard when high.

Y/N’s eyes were glassy and resting at half mast as she manuverd herself to sit beside Jim, leaning herself over him, exhausted. He took her into his arms, just wanting to be near someone-just wanting to be near her. She was quietly laughing and it took him a minute to register that he was doing the same.

They exchanged a few more soft, small kisses after Jim had managed to recline the seat back completely, turning it into a makeshift bed-why he didn’t think of doing that earlier didn’t cross his mind. He pulled one the blankets he always kept in the back of the car over them, trying to shield her from the evening chill that still seeped into the car.

She passed out just a moment later, cradled by him, without another word. He couldn’t think of anything to say to her anyway.

Some Babes: @katiekitty261 @ovarydosed @stupidocupido @tarkofetis @langdonalien @michael-langdon-appreciation @thecinderellaposts @colorsunlimited @langdonsdemon @aveiangdon @ccodyfern @codysfallenangels @sojournmichael @starwlkers

Special Thanks to @thecinderellaposts and @michael-langdon-appreciation bc ya’ll always keep me right <3

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