#They’re having a staring contest lmao

[copper-9spurgatory]

ANOTHER J, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

J PLUSH FOREHEAD JUMPSCARE

>:(

[campingwiththecharmings]

hellooooo!! congrats on the one year anniversary<3<3

could I request “how mad would you be if i kissed you?” with poe?

(thank you for doing this event!!!!)

All Your Fault

AN: OMG IT'S A FIC-AVERSAY REQUEST!! lol Told y'all I was still gonna answer all of these! That said, I'm betting you probably don't even remember sending this lmao but I hope you can still enjoy it all the same though. Thanks for your patience 💖

(Un-beta’d)

Rated: T Words: 1,068 Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader (written with f!reader in mind but I'm pretty sure this could be read as GN. please correct me if that's wrong) Warnings: kissing, arguing...nothing else I can think of (please let me know if I missed something) AO3

——————

Commander Poe Dameron is, quite literally, the bane of your existence.  

Sure, he’s a great pilot and, okay fine, he’s not a terrible leader but, damn it if the bastard doesn’t drive you absolutely crazy with his needlessly risky plans. You’re not sure if he has a death wish or if he’s just an adrenaline junky, but what you do know is that if the storm troopers chasing you don’t kill him, you just might. 

You run down the narrow hallway of the First Order compound you’ve infiltrated, Dameron in tow, desperately searching for an escape. You spot a door, thank the Maker when it’s unlocked, and pull Dameron inside with you by the lapels of his jacket, glaring at him when he opens his mouth to complain. 

“Shut up,” you whisper harshly, pushing him against the back of the door. 

He watches you in the dim light for a moment, lips parted, breath leaving him in pants. Your eyes drop to his mouth, lingering longer than you’d like, and you wonder briefly if they’re as soft as they look, how they’d feel against yours, how they’d taste— 

Okay fine, so you’re a little attracted to him. That didn’t mean he didn’t still infuriate the hell out of you. 

The thundering of boots crescendos outside the door, (blessedly) breaking you from your staring contest with his mouth. Still pressed against Poe, you swallow thickly, your face warm as you forcibly avert your gaze. Your eyes land on his neck, and you have to ignore the sudden urge you feel to lick the bead of sweat running slowly down the side of it. 

You’re both still as the troopers pass, as if making even the tiniest movement might alert them to your presence. Poe is still breathing a little heavy, the air puffing against your cheek just another reminder of his closeness. You try to ignore it, ignore him, ignore how good his body feels against yours, how amazing he smells. In an effort to stave off the sudden urge you have to bury your face in his neck and breathe deep, you think of literally anything else: your bunkmate’s dirty socks, General Leia screaming at you, taking a blaster bolt to the shoulder— 

The sound of the troopers fades slowly and you breathe a quiet sigh of relief, backing up as much as you can in the small space.  

“That was a close one, huh?” Poe mutters, looking at you warily, as if you might attack him at any given moment. 

Your anger at him rekindles in your chest at the comment and you can’t stop yourself from punching him in the shoulder. He grunts, glaring at you half-heartedly as he rubs the spot where you hit him. 

“No, Dameron, that was stupid. Completely and utterly stupid,” you quietly scold, pointing at him in accusation. 

He scoffs, almost rolling his eyes and it sends another flare of anger through you.  

“Oh, you don’t think so?” you counter, stepping closer to him. “You think your little stunt helped us?” 

He glares at you, leaning back against the door with an annoyed look on his face. “We got what we came for, didn’t we?” 

“Yes, and we’d be out of here and on the ship right now if you’d just followed the plan.” 

“You mean followed your plan,” he mumbles almost petulantly. 

“Is that what this is about?” you ask, chuckling humorlessly as you take another step closer. “Still sore that the General went with my plan instead of yours, flyboy?” 

His jaw tightens and he moves even closer, his voice so low it’s almost a growl. “Your plan is the reason I even had to pull that ‘stunt’ in the first place, sweetheart.” 

It’s your turn to scoff now, rage flaring in your eyes as you move so close to him his chest brushes against yours. You ignore how incredible he smells, even after all the running you’ve done, ignore how good he looks this close— 

“You are unbelievable, do you know that? Absolutely unbelievable.” 

Poe opens his mouth to retort, a mischievous look in his eyes, but you cut him off by continuing, your voice a harsh whisper. “You’re reckless, hot-headed, impulsive—” 

His finger on your lips stops you, your eyes widening in both shock and rage. 

Unfortunately, you’re silent long enough for him to ask, “How mad would you be if I kissed you right now?” 

Your brow furrowing in confusion, lips parting as much as they can with his finger still pressed against them. Instinctively, your gaze falls to his mouth, eyes dragging over his plump bottom lip as your brain reminds you of all the times you’ve fantasized about a moment just like this one. You watch as the corner of his mouth quirks slightly in a smile and know you’ve somehow given him all the permission he needs. 

He leans in, spanning the meager distance between you as he pulls his hand away, tentatively pressing his lips to yours. He’s giving you a chance to push him away, you realize, to decide you don’t want this but…You do.  

You melt into him, pressing your body against his and pushing him back against the door. He groans softly, the sound going straight to your core and you wonder what else you could do to pull sounds like that from him.  

You hope he gives you a chance to find out. 

His hands cup your cheeks, holding you in place as he presses his tongue against the seam of your lips. You part them without resistance, shivering when he licks inside. The taste of him is divine, a mix of sweetness and spice and something so inherently Poe. You could spend hours, maybe even days, like this, just kissing him, enjoying the taste of him, the feel of him. Already you can’t get enough, can feel your need for him clawing at the base of your spine as your fingers plunge into his soft, dark locks.  

You’re forced to break for air, foreheads pressed together as you both try to catch your breath. 

“This isn’t over, you know,” you pant, pulling back to shoot him what you hope is a stern look. 

He chuckles breathlessly, reaching out to trace the curve of your cheek with his knuckles, his lips quirking slightly when you unconsciously lean into the touch.  

“I’d be disappointed if it was, sweetheart.”

If you enjoyed this, please let me know! I appreciate every single reblog and/or comment. Thank you. 💖

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[babiebom]

Hello!! Soooo I was reading your headcannons about Shane going with his S/O to the mines and that got me thinking. How would the Bachelors (and maybe also the Bachelorettes) react to a Gn S/O who kicks a slime or other monster in the face which kills it instantly? The Bachelors/Bachelorettes are either shocked or impressed as the S/O explains they just are really good at kicking and could probably break open a rock if they wanted to.

A/N: brother i do not remember writing that but I probably did and forgot bc let’s face it I forget things pretty easily. The bachelorettes will be a separate post because I’m taking too long posting this. Also sorry this is late. Also also my writing has gotten slower because I have taken up making music and have currently a couple songs that I’m working on including one from my farmers pov about Sebastian so y’know with that and work a lot of things are going on lmao. Pt.2 I have a cold again because of work.

Tw: violence, cursing, mentions of death, killing slimes lmao, lmk if I should tag anything else

Bc/Wc: maybe 3 for each. Maybe more? At least 100 words me thinks for each.

Stardew valley Masterlist

Sebastian

Literally just blinks and is like ….okay :|

It’s probably not surprising to him that you kicked a monster to death

Sticks to swinging a bat at them (I think he would have a bat or like a pipe or something) but thinks it’s cool that you have hand to hand…or monster to foot combat down.

Sebastian stares as you kick a duggy to death. It honestly was getting in the way of you digging for treasure and nipping at your ankles every time you weren’t paying attention. It only took one good kick for it to die and as you breathe out a puff of air in frustration, your boyfriend simply nods to himself and continues the search for anything you could donate to the museum.

“Are you gonna say anything?” You ask

He just shrugs in response, “no not really…”

In all honesty he figured you had to have a way to survive down here for hours. While kicking wasn’t the usual way, it did work and that’s all that really matters to him.

Sam

Probably did not realize at first and was like okay yeah cool it’s dead

Then realized and probably shouted VERY LOUDLY

Thinks it’s super cool because WHAT?

The stupid things take SO long to die. You kill them and they just come right back unless you blow it up…or give it a good kick to the face out of annoyance. Sam’s eyebrows raise for a second before he continues to break rocks, wanting to get this adventure over with.

Then comes the excited shouting. He’s holding you by your shoulders, shaking you and yelling words that don’t quite make it to your ears. “Sam, please!” You shout over him, the echoing sounds starting to hurt your head.

“I’m sorry,” he lets go of you but is still bouncing in place, “but that was so cool! I wanna kick things!”

Shane

Openly thinks it’s hot

Is very relieved because he never comes down into the mines and does at least want to know you’re safe

Steals your kicking strategy because it is quicker and more efficient

Do those things ever die? Can a skeleton die? How can a skeleton even be alive if not inside a per-okay they’re kicking it….and it’s dead. Wow.

Shane just stares in slight confusion as his mind races to catch up with the events that just unfolded in front of him. It was kinda fun taking out his feelings on monsters that were technically picking a fight first, but then thinking about the morality and the actual logic of it all distracted him until you actually kick a real life skeleton in the face causing it to finally permanently die. He says nothing to you, but does give you an amused smirk before adopting your strategy as his own. Kicking is way more fun than hitting rocks anyways.

Alex

Secretly thinks it’s hot

Would also try to kick things

Would want to do a playful contest to see how much stuff you two can damage honestly.

It thew Alex off when the rock he had hit with a pickaxe started moving. It threw him off even further when said rock pinched him with its apparent pincers that he didn’t even know it had. His brain completely left his skull when you kicked the thing to death with one good stomp because it had pinched him.

It didn’t even hurt that much because he wasn’t paying any attention to his wound and instead staring at you with what could only be described as adoration. Alex clears his throat and grind at you, “how ‘bout a kicking contest? Winner gets a prize”.

“What prize?” You ask, confused about his reaction. You thought he would be in a little pain at least.

“Whatever the winner decides I guess…” you shake his outstretched hand. This was going to go well for you. Now all there is left to do is think about what you want as your prize.

Harvey

Would be absolutely floored.

Like THIS IS NOT SAFE BUT OH MY GOD IMPRESSIVE

He is never coming into the mines again but at least his anxiety has gone down just a little bit (well went up then down so technically it is lower than previously).

The little thing on the ground wasn’t terrifying in the slightest, but your ferocity in destroying it made Harvey think that it was more serious than he understood it to be. Don’t get him wrong, all of the things in this mine could kill someone easily, but the monster that looked like a big ass worm didn’t really seem like a big deal compared to everything else you two had come across.

His mouth hung open as he stared at you as you glared at the stained spot where the worm thing used to be. “It would’ve turned into a monster that could fly.” You offer as soon as you turn to look at him. He nods and makes a mental note to get you muscle relaxers or something because your legs definitely have to be sore after this.

Elliott

Is MORTIFIED

like he was not expecting you to do that at ALL

The mines aren’t his favorite place and he’s glad you can defend yourself but it’s also TERRIFYING.

Probably will insert this into one of his novels where you’re already a character because it’s hot.

The bouncing little jelly things were more dangerous than Elliott had expected. Sure, he knew to some degree that you being tough was a fact because you were in these mines damn near every day for hours at a time. Whenever you came back home after a trip to the mines, covered in bruises and cuts after midnight, he always felt thankful that you had made it back home alive. But this was more than he expected. If something that looked this harmless could make him feel heavy and tired enough to wanna just lay down and die, how strong were the other monsters that lived in these mines?

Snapping out of his distracted thoughts, he watches as everything happens too quickly in front of him, rendering him unable to help because you got everything under control before he could even think to help. In one second you’re hissing in pain after a slime that you both had missed crashed into you, then the next your foot lifts up and then kicks the slime across the room. The thing splatters into goo on the wall as you check yourself for any serious injuries. Elliott calls out to you in shock, rushing over to also look over you because he wouldn’t be fully calm without checking you himself.

As you two stand in the now empty room, checking each other for any injuries that might make you leave early, Elliott can’t help but think that a sexy strong love interest in his novels is just what he needs to make his work skyrocket in popularity.

[froznwater]

I love seeing all ur aus they’re so yummy :) ur fanfics r acc the reason I started to use Ao3 it very much scared me at first tho (I missed a tag once…)

But anyway, would assistant Noah like live in that house that the winners got in all stars? And it’d be like Ale would he more likely to win challenges bc of it since he gets softer during all stars

READ THE TAGS YOU GUYS OMG, very important(someone said they missed a tag on spanish translator im going to hope that wasnt you LMAO) but thank you!!!!! it's kinda crazy the amount of people that have told me i introduced them to ao3/alenoah. happy to do so tho <3

OKAY, now, when any of you ask about my AUs knows you are going to get a lengthy response because I use them as excuses to talk about AUs. I think it would be exciting if he was suppose to stay in the same sector as the interns, but either Noah sneaks out, because they are all fans and annoying/gross/etc and jut sleeps int he winners house when he can. OR Chris starts using him to stir drama (Chris has a great legal team that covers all bases. There's a reason he excluded the part about kissing contestants >:)) I think it would be super funny to do this early in the fic:

"He's evil." Noah whispers as he gently closes the bedroom door. There's cameras all around the house, they'll turn on at the slightest noise. Alejandro peaks at him through one open eye and slowly sits up, "What?"

"Mike. He's get some multiple personality thing and he's not Mike anymore, his name is Mal."

Alejandro stares at him like he's grown a second head. "What is this, an aLIEance?"

Noah deadpans, traveling carefully through the room. "That joke sucked." When he reaches the edge of the bed he continues, "I'm not lying."

He shoves Alejandro a CD.

AND TRHEN THEY VOTE OFF MAL AND THAT PLOT JUST IS LIEK SOOOO SILLY AND GONE!!! But mal would probably have to stick around for a while. But they could sneak off to the confessional, in the night to the woods, to the winners house, etc to exchange info. Noah really doesnt like any of the new guys, and doesnt want them to win at all. So he's helping the villians, through Alejandro. just saying, if they aren't enemies, they are friends. Friends who could get a lot of shit done.

[lomlhotchner]

❛ faking it! ❜ … aaron hotchner

↠ the heart wants what it wants masterlist

previous || next

༘♡ ⋆｡˚ SUMMARY : the mission is on, act like a rich loving couple, dig some information, catch the unsub. seem easy enough right?

༘♡ ⋆｡˚ WARNINGS : high tensions 😫 mutual pining, cursing, they’re shy okay, the plot doesn’t really make sense (i tried), english isn’t my first language!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ HANA’S NOTES : here we goooo!!!!! thank you so much for yalls patience 😭😭 this is part two to for zipper but you don’t need to read the it to understand this! i am so sorry from the bottom of my heart if this doesnt make sense lmao i dont know what i was going for. hope yall enjoy 💗

“Remember the plan?”

You took a deep breath and nodded your head, “Yeah, go in there, bond with the rich, find the unsub, piss him off so that he’ll take the bait, and then lure him outside so that he can get his ass kicked.” you stated confidently.

Hotch raised his eyebrows at you, amused “When does the ass kicking happen?”

You shrugged your shoulders, a smirk playing on your lips, “Whenever I get the chance.”

He scoffed out a laugh, making you grin at the sound. You arrived at the elevator, sending the elevator operator a warm smile in greeting before stepping inside. He was an old man with grey hair, he had wrinkles and the most comforting smile on his face.

“Where are you two lovebirds headed?” he cheekily asked while looking at the both of you with a knowing look.

If only he knew.

Hotch smiled at Stan—the nametag says, “Dinner.”

Stan nodded his head and press the respected level before sending you a warm smile, "May I say you look stunning in that dress.”

You shyly laughed and lowered your head, but before you could thank him, Hotch’s deep voice cut you off, “Doesn’t she?” he spoke with the softest tone you have ever heard and when you look up at him, he was already looking down at you with the certain look in his eyes that anyone can decipher as fondness.

No, he’s just being in character. Don’t be delusional.

Hotch has been acting different with you since the undercover task began. Although the whole point of it was to make everything up and act, you can’t help but think that he was just showing a part of himself where no one has the privilege to know. In easier words, you think he wasn’t really acting.

So does that mean the almost kiss…. ?

Do you really want to go there?

You weren't sure.

You guys continue to stare at each other not noticing the operator’s grin. He has seen a handful of couples in this part of the job and he knows when he sees fools in love.

The elevator dinged, indicating you arrived at the respected floor. You guys broke from the little staring contest, your cheeks heating up. Sending Stan a smile before walking out of the elevator.

The venue was enchanting, to say the least. Bright elegant chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Beautiful flower arrangements placed on the table. People in gorgeous dresses and suits and suddenly you felt underdressed compared to them. Because this isn’t actually your real lifestyle, but for them, this is just a normal Tuesday.

Hotch interrupted your thoughts by bend down so he was level with your ear, “I didn’t get the chance to say this earlier, but you look absolutely gorgeous.” he whispered before standing up to his full height.

You couldn’t even count how many times you were flustered tonight. Your body was all tingly with excitement as you looked up at him, “Thank you, honey. You don’t look too bad yourself.” you teased.

A smirk formed on his lips. You could see his Adams apple bob at how hard he swallowed and maybe it’s the lights, but you can vividly make out his rosy cheeks after your comment.

He subtly tries to hide his face in the crook of your neck, giving it a soft kiss for the extra effect. “Did you turn on your coms?” he mumbled.

Your eyes widen a little. right, you’re undercover. You move to your ear and click the device resulting in it turning on with a beep.

The audio cracks for a moment before JJ’s voice appeared, “Y/N? Hotch? Can you guys hear us?”

“Yeah, we can hear you JJ.”

“Okay, good. Any signs of the unsub?” she asked.

“No, not yet.” you answered, giving the place a once over for any suspicious acts.

“Nope.” Emily sounded through the coms. Followed by the other’s negative response of the unsub’s whereabouts.

“Alright, everyone be cautious. We know the unsub is unstable, keep an eye out for any weird behaviors.” Hotch ordered as he led you to the ballroom.

He took two champagne glasses and handed you one of them. You sent him a small as gratitude. Your hand was shaking slightly when you bought the glass to your lips.

Hotch took notice of that and rub his hand at the small of your back, “Relax.” he smiled.

You shyly nodded your head as you both moved to one of the tables. Taking a seat that Hotch has gracefully pulled out for you.

"You okay?" Hotch asked, sitting beside you.

"Yeah, kinda excited."

"Excited to catch a murderer?" he raised his eyebrows.

"That, but also this." you gestured to the ballroom you guys are in, "Everything is just so fancy, and pretty! I can't even remember the last time I actually got ready and wear a dress." you chuckled, not realizing that your hand has gravitated to the tip of Hotch's fingers, softly playing with it.

Hotch felt like he was going to melt at how adorable you are, plus the feeling of your hands on his skin? He's a goner. He has always known that you were a touchy person, having to see you hug or link your arms with the rest of the squad except him was not entirely unnoticeable. So when he gets the chance to have this pleasure, he isn’t sure what to do.

As you continued to talk about … —okay, he isn’t entirely paying attention— he has a small smile played on his lips. He just can't tear his eyes away from you. His eye move to your cheeks, your eyes, the flutter of your eyelashes. Have you always been this pretty?

"Hotch? Did you hear what I said?" you tap the inside of his palm, trying to get his attention back to whatever daydream he went.

Hotch could feel his cheeks at getting caught red handed, "Yeah, yeah, sorry just got distracted."

You almost laughed at the absurdity, "By what? Me? You play this part too good Hotch, cause I can almost believe you're in love with me." you eyes widen slightly at your word vomit, you instantly regretted what you said but Hotch surprised you by laughing along.

"Oh honey, you have no idea." he softly chuckled.

God, I hate how he can act so good.

Your eyes move to surveillance the room as a distraction and noticed something, "Okay, don't look right now but the table on our left have been staring at us for the past 5 minutes."

Hotch subtly nodded his head and glanced at the table. It was a group of men in suits staring at you guys.

You. Specifically.

Oh.

He clenched his jaw and protectively wrapped his arms around your waist. Your stomach fluttered at the sudden contact. "We should split up and dig more information. I'm going to those gentlemen, and you can scout out the ladies over there."

You cleared your throat, brushing off your bashfulness, "Yeah, that's- that's a good idea." you stood up and brush the wrinkles of your dress. "See you later, handsome." you boldly left a kiss on his cheek, softly patting his shoulder.

Hotch felt like he was in a daze as he stared at you walking away. His tongue poke his cheek, trying to fight back a smile from forming when you sneak a peek around your shoulder, send him a cheeky smile and a wink.

He composed himself before he trudged to the table, “Evening, gentleman.” he greeted, noticing how they all pretend that they weren’t staring at his date. Fake date. “How are you guys enjoying the event?”

Enjoy drooling at my date? he wanted to add.

On the other side of the room, you have to control yourself from getting overly sheepish at the compliments the girls are giving you guys.

Both of you guys.

You and Hotch. Together.

“How long have you guys been with each other?”

“You guys look so good together."

"The ring is beautiful."

"He's so fine, girl. You are so lucky,"

"Are you joking? He's lucky one. Look at her, she's gorgeous."

The compliments are making you blush, "Thank you, ladies." you smiled, glancing at Hotch absentmindedly.

They were right, he is fine.

You shook your head, remembering the real reason you are here. "So. do you guys know the host personally?"

The girl on your right, —Barbara you think, "Oh no, I just work for them. But this one," she nudged the girl beside her, "works as a personal assistant for the host's mom."

Your eyebrows rose at the new information, "Oh? The pay's probably good huh?"

She chuckled, "I don't want to say much but it is definitely better than working as an accountant. If you exclude the constant bickering between her and her son in law."

That peeked your interest, but before you can dig up more information, Barbara spoke, "Oh my god. Your husband is literally head over heels for you. He won't stop ogling you!"

All of you subconsciously turned your head at the direction she was looking at.

Your eyes meet Hotch's and low and behold, he was already looking at you. And at the sudden addition of eyes his own widened as he shy away from the attention.

The sight made you grin.

The girls giggled and moved their conversation to a different topic. But you can’t help yourself from taking a peak at Hotch again. You both made eye contact, sharing a flustered smile.

Okay. What the fuck’s that about.

Countless of thoughts running through your head. The interaction have caught Emily’s attention as you make eye contact with her. What was that? Her face wearing a shocked, questionable look, as she teasingly smirked.

You subtly shrugged your shoulders. I have no fucking clue.

If this is going on for the whole night, you dont know how much your heart can take.

reblog / tell me what you think for a smooch <3 check out my other works!

[peachysunrize]

I know I'm stupid for expecting an actual conversation between helaena and aemond. Really, silly me. But seriously, aside from me being a helaemond fan, it's just crazy that they don't interact at all. Not even after Luke or bnc, and now we got one sentence. "Was it worth it?" Finish it!! What did he say, what is Helaena's stance, how is their dynamic... I can't believe this.

Also, Alicent with her "what he has become." It makes sense that she suspects that Aemond might have hurt Aegon, but the thing is, she said the exact same thing to septa Rhaenyra in ep3. And by then he did kill Luke, but she was aware of his anger cause of the injustice at and post Driftmark. She said that to Otto. Yet, she is horrified by him because...? Not to mention that Daemon is apparently wary of his nephew's cruelty and is warning Alys. What? Daemon. The cold blooded murderer talks about his murderous 18 yrs old nephew as the worst monster in the world. Lmao. Just give me a break. I can't with this show anymore.

Starting with your Helaemond take, gosh you’re so right. It felt so forced, so stupid and useless. We have zero aspect of their dynamic, nothing to rely on and the scene felt more like a staring contest than two grieving siblings talking…

Alicent talking like she has a beef with Aemond is so funny because why is she acting like this??? Why won’t she tell us, utter the word ‘kinslayer’ so we can actually think how they see Aemond!!! This guessing game is fucked up, it’s not even a game anymore. We donno what Aemond is, what he thinks, he’s just there existing ready to be Ryan’s punching bag to make TB look better.

I hate this damn show and what they’re doing to my boy even though him and Aegon are the only remaining interesting ones.

[omelette-archives]

OMELETTE RECORDS PT.2

Question: How would the new batch [new designs of the omelettes] react to the old batch and vice versa?

Answer: Jerard would be so distraught like “this is who I am? No that’s literally not me” even though it’s literally the same person.

Andrew is just so aghast at old him’s hair and lifestyle like definitely he’s the better one.

Jules would get along pretty well and they wouldn’t have any qualms but they’d also have slight differences where if they found out either of them likes this or that ,it would end up in a blown-out argument and they’d struggle to reconcile.

Tomathy's probably poking his own old face even though they’re practically the same but he’d be jealous of old him’s siblings.

Eustace's probably hugging each other and like grasping each other’s shirts as they meet the other Monty which would turn out to be a really sweet moment.

Luigi would literally have a staring contest and after an hour would go “oh red hair huh”.

COMMENTARY:

Andrew had the DEFINITION of a glow up like, both physically, arguably intelligently and job wise

Jules: yeah I torture people and I might be a serial killer Jules 2.0:…. I work at a pharmacy and volunteer at animal shelters Jules: omg I love animal shelters cats are so cute Jules 2.0: omg

I see your Tomathy response and raise you the idea that they both assumed the other was Timothy and they glared at each other ☝️

Question: What are the omelettes' reactions to playing Roblox horror games?

Answer: Jerard would be like “what is this lol” before playing and then just screaming his head off if someone shines a torch on his avatar and he thinks it’s the monster.

Jules is “you go first no you” she would NOT be going first at all 💔 but it would be hilarious at the same time.

Andrew's trying to explore everywhere to distract himself from the pain lurking around until his head gets snapped cause he didn’t hear the monster approaching him 💔💔💔

Eustace would definitely be vibing with Tomathy but split apart when they go through a chase with the monster and he ends up getting killed the most.

Tomathy's actually a pro at it despite not having played it he would actually like accidentally discover all the caves and secret entrances.

Luigi has his game glitched so the monster can’t actually kill him so he’s just doing the tasks as he’s face to face with the monster😭😭

COMMENTARY:

Jules would spend 80% of the game just saying she’s not going first and arguing about going first, and when everyone else dies she’ll just camp in the corner and cry about not wanting to go on😭

Andrew just talking the entire time like he’s running a commentary channel because that’s the only way he can play the game 😭😭

Eustace seems like the type of guy to accidentally throw his mouse across the room when he gets jumpscared..

Tomathy: guys it wasn’t even scary lmao Also Tomathy: **accidentally speedruns the game and doesn’t even see the monster because it’s chasing everyone else**

Question: Omelettes zombie apocalypse gear. What are they wearing and what gear are they carrying on their persons?

Answer: Jerard probably has a belt that holds everything he needs like water strapped to his belt, a dagger while he looks all disheveled and his hair is all tangled.

Jules has a backpack that has everything she needs except a weapon so she’s really vigilant and cautious when she’s passing through the hordes.

Tomathy's wearing his sweater that’s all ripped apart now and his pants are dangling on by a single thread as he fashions a knife taped to a gun for extra efficiency as well as less storage.

Eustace has some fanny pack that has only a biscuit or two and some extra glass shards that he picked up on the way.

Luigi's carrying a bow and some arrows as he has a bandana wrapped around his head so only the first half of his face is revealed.

COMMENTARY:

I can imagine Jerard rushing in all disheveled trying and on his way to block the door but he just always looks that disheveled so his roommates don’t even bat an eye.

Eustace keeping glass shards in his fancy back that also has some snacks in it is some cruel form of Russian roulette but I respect the hustle

Luigi is on his way to shoot zombies AND survivors, no one is safe. He is the real threat.

Question: What are the omelettes like as baby sitters, should they be trusted?

Answer: Jerard keeps the kid alive by feeding them and keeping the indoors by playing tv, probably annoyed that he has to spend time but like will read them to sleep as he tucks them in and does his own thing.

Jules will accidentally set the kitchen on fire with a little small flame but is good at calming the kid down if they have a tantrum or like verbalising their feelings.

Luigi will literally keep the kid alive just barely cause he’ll try to feed them like extreme food combinations like avocado with scrambled egg without realising the kid’s allergic to egg.

Eustace plays really well with the kid and like going with the flow with the kid’s figure’s storyline and all that.

Tomathy would honestly be the best out of all of them like he’d make sure the kid doesn’t get driven over when they visit the park and pushing them on the swing and making the kid’s favourite food.

COMMENTARY:

Luigi will ALWAYS somehow feed people things they’re allergic to. It’s not even malicious, he’ll randomly just offer them the one thing that could kill them.

Question: What are the omelettes’ favourite movies?

Answer: Jerard - Interstellar

Jules - The Devil Wears Prada

Eustace - Everything Everywhere All At Once

Tomathy - Legally Blonde (guilty pleasure)

Luigi - The Seashell and the Clergyman

Andrew - The Usual Suspects

FAVOURITES TO LEAST: CITRUSY

Andrew

Jules

Eustace

Luigi

Tomathy

Boris

Brews

Dave

JJB

Timothy

Ms Harmon

Monty

Rue (sorry girl you’re the new kid and I know nothing about you 💔)

COMMENTARY:

TOMATHY’S ABOVE BORIS I WOULD’VE NEVER GUESSED BRO THAT TOMATHY/ BORIS RANKING CHOICE HAD ME BITING MY NAILS 😭😭😭

Question: What are some cute yolk interactions you can think of (e.g. Timothy and Dave gushing about sharks, Brewster fishing with Boris, Tomathy drawing on a sleeping Jules face ect)🙏

Answer: The yolks would go to barbenheimer all dressed differently so Jerard's in all pink, Jules is absolutely in a suit with the same hat and she’s tipping it off like Oppenheimer, Tomathy in both pink and with pink bracelets with a coat, Eustace in pink but also dressed in dark colours.

Boris taking a selfie with That Smile™ while Brewster is struggling to raise a fish and it’s just so chaotic.

Jules holding a duck and chasing Tomathy around cause he’s scared of birds.

Jules dressed as a minion but didn’t realise no one else got the memo so she’s all dressed up as the only one and everyone’s laughing 🥲🥲

Luigi climbing up a tree with only a knife and then the aftermath being a photo taken at the exact time he falls.

Eustace trying to be all serious when posing beside a bunch of leaves and bush as Tomathy just starts cracking up.

COMMENTARY:

I love them all so dearly they have a special place in my heart, they’re all such dumb idiots❤️

PROMPT: Omelettes if they were in the Blair witch project?

Answer: Jerard's freaking out and just being scared after the whole rocks scene where they cross the border.

Jules is just losing her mind eventually and tossing the map in the river without thinking and she’s just hysterically crying every night.

Tomathy's rocking himself to sleep and filming every moment of the day as much as he can and he just yells at everyone.

Eustace is probably so scared that he barely follows Tomathy in the murder house that he finds Tomathy staring in the corner and screams so loud.

Luigi's the witch.

COMMENTARY:

I should NOT be laughing at Jules but her “tossing the map in the river without thinking” and her just sobbing every night is making me cackle 😭😭😭

Tomathy “anger issues” Stoker🫶 blaming everyone but himself

STOP I DONT KNOW WHY BUT EUSTACE JUST WALKING INTO THE MURDER HOUSE AND SCREAMING UPON SEEING TOMATHY IN THE CORNER IS SO FUNNY???😭😭

Luigi: so you’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today **camera pans to everyone dead**

Question: How do you think a yolks' ghost-hunting au would work?

Answer: Jerard's absolutely scared of every noise even if he pretends to be nonchalant and cool (he's not by the way).

Luigi scares the ghosts back but also just holding the flashlight in his mouth the entire time and turning around.

Tomathy has the whole vlog camera and ghost recorders out so you just see a tiny child-man dressed in the heaviest equipment and fanny packs.

Eustace is probably in his tropical shirt and just accidentally bears witness to several ghost incidences/occurrences like the strongest evidence but never catching it on camera.

Question: How do you think each of the yolks would play the sims?

Answer: Jerard plays the sensible "proper" way.

Luigi basically kills his sims in the weirdest ways possible. (He would love pufferfish, rabid rodent fever and mold infestation)

Tomathy has the most cursed family line like either constantly affairs, cheating, babies out of wedlock etc, fighting, paternity tests etc

Eustace would join in with Tomathy.

Question: How would each yolk react to being stuck in a time loop?

Answer: Jerard's losing his mind.

Tomathy's grooving with it and having the time of his life.

Eustace's very stressed and bouncing everywhere.

Luigi's already stuck in one. It's a life without [REDACTED].

Question: Do you have any of those funny/weird group photos that you'd feel would be the yolks?

Answer: There's one where they're all wearing matching hats at a theme park [and one that takes a photo while riding a rollercoaster and it's just Tomathy with his hands up, Jerard screaming and clutching onto Jules, Luigi with a stoic face and Eustace off to the side like he's about to puke].

Another would be just Tomathy looking like he had a baking disaster with his hair all black and his face sooty. [There's another photo where Eustace managed to convince Tomathy to dye his hair unnaturally and the photo is just of Tomathy after the results and his hair is raccoon hair].

Another is when they took a photo of Jerard sleeping with marker drawn on his face [and Luigi takes a photo where Eustace is posing next to Jerard's body with a marker in his hand].

Question: What would each yolk do if they discovered they could stop whenever they wish?

Answer: Tomathy would lick every child's ice-cream in his vicinity.

Eustace would sleep more [but also I think explore the bakeries and cafes near him].

Luigi would make cups full of water or coffee float in mid-air before they spill on Jerard.

Jerard would either use this time to finish his work or have a day off every now and then.

Question: Who does each yolk main in Mario Kart?

Answer: Jerard is Princess Daisy (vibes?)

Tomathy is Princess Peach, Baby Bowser, Wario or Yoshi [Peach to annoy Jerard but his most main would be Baby Bowser]

Luigi is King Boo.

Eustace is Toadette for some reason...

Jules is Baby Bowser.

Boris is maybe Diddy Kong.

Brewster is Wario.

Dave is Luigi.

Question: How does each yolk react to being stuck in a death time loop eg. Happy Death Day?

Answer: Tomathy would actually try to stop the cycle or find out the cause (he'd win).

Eustace would try stopping it but he'd end up getting killed way too many times that he just feels hopeless at the end.

Jerard is going through the stages of grief.

Luigi would try to stab the killer back.

Question: How do the yolks in Minecraft play? What do they do?

Answer: Luigi would try to fit in with the villagers and would even have a villager skin.

Tomathy is just a miner.

Jules hunts for food and resources.

Eustace is probably a farmer but also explorer like he'd probably own a farm where he breeds cows and horses.

Jerard's playing with his roommates and wouldn't even play it if it was just him.

Andrew's trying to charm his way to get resources and food for free.

Boris is a rider.

COMMENTARY:

The good ol’ reliable way-back-machine **pets junk pile of metal** (AKA my camera roll 😭😭)

ALL PRAISE THE WAYBACK MACHINE (oopsiedaisiesroundabout's camera roll😭)

[shira-hoe-shi]

A Mutual 'Oh Fuck.'

Kidlawlu magic!genderbend WIP

I started working on this when I had a surprise two hours free at work and needed somewhere to channel all of my directionless energy.

This is strictly a WIP. I'm not saying I'm not going to write more of this, but it feels a little too happy for what I'm looking to write rn?

But! I still thought someone might like it and I wanted to share bc I'm always looking for constructive feedback to become stronger writer :) + I'm really struggling with how to turn an idea into a finished piece.

The details are irrelevant—who poured the last round of drinks, who started the inevitable dick measuring contest, who pissed off the island’s resident mystic.

What matters right now is the jackhammer working to ram its way out of Kid’s skull. He feels like shit. The inside of his mouth is dry and he realizes with a grimace, wiping the back of one arm against his face, that the corners of his mouth are crusted over. Pushing himself up to his elbows, Kid sucks in a deep breath, curling the air at the back of his throat in an attempt to dislodge a night’s worth of mucus from his sinuses. He spits haphazardly to the side, not even sparing a glance to where the warm splat makes contact.

Sitting up completely, Kid buries his face in his hands, digging his knuckles into his eye sockets, dislodging sleep and bringing himself fully into the realm of the living. It’s bright as fuck. His chest hurts; his chest feels fucking heavy.

He stretches his arms high over his head with a pop before snapping his neck from side to side with the swift cracks. Joints settled, Kid lets a hand fall to his bare chest to idly check for damage. Had he gotten into a fight? Finally given that twink bastard Trafalgar Law something to really be goomy about; maybe a goose egg or a split lip on that shitty smirking face.

Kid’s fingers prod intently. His skin is tender. It’s soft? His frown deepens, eyes snapping fully awake and down.

Does he have fucking tits?

Kid is scrambling to his feet and he doesn’t scream, but there’s a high pitched wheeze that slips out of him that feels dangerously close. He doesn’t make it to his feet, legs tangling and suddenly he’s falling ass over tin cups before meeting the wall with a hard thud.

And it gets worse. So much worse. Because Kid didn’t trip over a mess of blankets or a pile of discarded laundry. No, he has one ankle hooked under none other than Trafalgar Law who’s now snapping awake and jostling a similarly entwined Straw hat Luffy with him.

Law’s staring at him and he’s staring back, a mutual oh fuck dawning across their faces in an instant.

Law is still, well, Law, but softer somehow. The hard lines of his chin dulled, lips full and swollen despite the tightness of the sneer they’re pulled into, and—oh shit—shirt ruffled and unbuttoned, allowing one pert breast to peek through. Small. Maybe a handful, not Kid’s hand to be sure because that dude is massive, but… the tendrils of his tattoo dip and bend to their body’s new curves, swirling snuggly against one taut, brown nipple.

Maybe his eyes linger a second too long, maybe his mouth falls a millimeter too wide, but Law is growling and wrenching the two sides of his shirt together.

“Eustass-ya,” his voice like gravel through clenched teeth, “what the fuck did you do?”

Indignant. In an instant.

[... something something “Me!? You creepy bastard you’re the one who likes playing with body parts y’sick fuck”]

[..something something Luffy’s eyes are still heavy with sleep and though he’s sat up enough to take in the room, if there’s something amiss, he certainly hasn’t realized it yet.]

[Kid has huge tits; Luffy looks almost exactly the same lmao]

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Wait THE PONYS SO CUTE??? WTF?? NAME?? Also I’m crying I could be blind so correct me if I’m wrong but is that also a pile of horse shit in the middle pic but either way SHSSH SO ADORABLE those big eyes staring into my soul

AHAHA dw whenever I think abt that gif I think about you <3 but also you’re actually serving the side character community fr ykws funny I was just thinking about rereading bfb Otoya because I was somehow reminded of those expensive cupcakes

LMFOAOAAO YEAH CLOSE ENOIGH HES THAT ONE COORDINATOR CONTEST JUDGE hes indeed elderly and he’s at evened contest and his only comment is some rendition of “remarkable” LMAOOO (dw idr his name either)

Crying there’s so many hair style options they rlly had to go with the ugliest ones

When I read wc my first thought was word count then I realized that didn’t make sense and was like oh ok World Cup? And then I thought abt it again and realized that’s also wrong now ik you mean wildcard goodbye

LMAO FR Karasu with his jaw on the floor like “you didn’t want this baddie????”

YUKI LOOKED SO GOOD IN THAT STREET SOCCER PANEL??? Why didn’t they ever elaborate more on that skill in the main series though they also barely did anything with his gyro shot like HELLO?? Are we not gonna talk abt how insane that skill is I need like spinoffs for every major side character atp epitabieitaken when

No bc wc and Kunigami exploration has sm potential…Lowk I see kaneshiro getting flamed everywhere from ppl being like “this is shit guys” and uhh idk how reliable their info is bc it’s. Yk. The internet fandom. But apparently kaneshiros also focusing a lot on some really weird random other series which is why people are like “you’re writing about the wrong balls!!!” (It’s apparently called like ball girls or something?? I have no idea lowk it’s supposedly really weird from what I’ve seen in the posts I’ve scrolled past)

REAL pause you’re so right abt that it’s giving jjk culling games arc…I remember first reading that and they kept introduce relatively irrelevant (or at least imo irrelevant LMAO) side characters that we barely ever saw again or were rlly just randomly tossed in (im still salty about him never elaborating on Inumakis backstory like bro we literally got everyone except him) SO REAL he should’ve gatekept the ng11 and tbh that would’ve given more opportunities for more bllkers to actually play and evolve like with the ng11 in its like they’re too good that only the top players can keep up but it leaves no room for other people who have potential to evolve or anything like…ig that’s like half in line with bllks idea of like survival of the fittest but idk i personally would’ve enjoyed seeing more characters we alr know get developed instead of having them just be dropped off the face of the planet

Kurona was truly SO random…it makes me wonder if maybe it was just because they thought yuki didn’t fit the popular character trope enough so they shoved kurona in (from what I’ve seen kurona is way more popular than yuki I lowk dk why though) I think we just have the same brain because I literally could not care less about the u20 players (sendous spotlight should’ve just ended in the match showing how the bllkers beat him and went past what Japan had deemed to be their number one striker/ace) that ALSO would’ve given more space do develop of more characters I honestly don’t rlly vibe with how they mixed the teams like that it would’ve been interesting to see u20 as potential rivals maybe but just flat out inserting them into bllk seems weird…like they could’ve held a tournament later on after the whole bllk program to decide who from u20 stays and who else goes I just wish they gave more bllkers the chance to actually train and do shit in bllk (this rant is getting LONG)

HEVDSH it’s ok this is a Barou household not a Kunigami one

You fr just subconsciously had these parallels cooking it’s just embedded into your writing style also WAIT KARASU OLDER BRO you’re onto sth….imagine y/n’s first thought is “your hair kinda reminds me of my cousins/brothers” LMAOO reader having galvantula is fr like me grabbing one super effective pokemon against one elite four to carry me because I never catch pokemon of that type (i fr cannot remember off the top of my head which one it was but wtv) I’m crying the magikarp scam is really funny LMAOOOO

Plot twist pokemon govt is in cahoots w the evil team which is why they’re ass!! Anyways

Nagi’s growlithe rolling in the mud while chigiri and reos pokemon stare as they get groomed is so real (the mc team dynamic >>>>)

I need to go back into our convo and look and what you gave him bc I alr forgot I’m leaving this here as a mental note and I’ll come back to this but FR lowk if we’re following some of the bllk canon dynamics imagine they’re from the same town where the flying type gym is and the wanna hiori has is a product of his parents giving him a like top pedigree ducklett so he can become gym leader and then e4 and champion etc I can imagine him bumping into Karasu working with his reject pokemon and Karasu’s like damn that’s an extraordinary ducklett and hioris like I wish I could just have fun with a bunch of nice pokemon (now I’m imagining the ducklett has an attitude at first like those typical rebellious pokemon and it continues into the swanna phase until some point idk I’m getting too invested into this verse)

Ok that’s funny because I got like 80% of the way through Sun and then stopped playing LMAOO I’m already world building in my head this crossover is too peak…ok but WHO would cook their pokemon poffins I have some ideas but can’t fully pin one person

I WAS JUST THINKING THAT OTOYA COULD USE A CROAGUNK FOR TBAT PURPOSE wait I almost forgot that misty Lowk plays that role before croagunk is actually created?? Guys Tullia Otoya are just misty and Brock

NAGI AND READER IN A PERIOD DRAMA LMFAOOOOOO but REAL gotta Gatekeep to build anticipation (and to also not keep you on the grind like that your to do list would be never ending)

SHDGSHSHS crying I’ll be mentally preparing myself for more wild stories about your rizz and AWEE me fr when I scroll on tumblr and see a response to a long ass ask (our convo)

- Karasu anon

HE IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST SPARKLIEST PRETTIEST MOST ADORABLE PONY EVER literally whenever i get the chance to show him (he’s older and doesn’t leave the property where he lives anymore so we only do the shows that our barn hosts) the judges always tell me how adorable he is like he’s actually perfect (he’s also really lazy so he’s made my legs sooo strong just because of how much i have to push him along 😭) and yes that is in fact horse shit in the middle photo LMAOAO he was kept in his stall overnight so he didn’t get all gross and ruin his braids before the show 😩 his name is cloud (although he also goes by cloudie LMAAOOA that’s what i usually call him because he gives way more cloudie energy than cloud energy yk) and i literally love him sm 🤩 he’s like the polar opposite of the horse i owned in high school (he was an ex racehorse so he was HUGE) but i like not needing a step stool to groom him before my lessons so no complaints here

PLEASEEE i love how expensive cupcakes are otoya’s legacy KFFHSJA i can never walk past those overpriced whole foods cupcakes (not that i ever go to whole foods but ykwim) and not be like damn ik for a fact eita would buy those for me

HAHAHA i think he also has a program on the pokétch in oras like judging contests or smth?? iirc he’s also there in the games judging contests occasionally i just solely remember him from the pokétch but YEAH we’re thinking of the same dude skfhdjsjs

HELP if it makes you feel better i think i also use wc to refer to the world cup in a later paragraph so you weren’t too far off 😭

no because yk hollyhock karasu would definitely be like “no you don’t get it bro she’s lowkey insane” and bllk karasu would just be like “even better 😍” he is NOT going to fumble the bag

STREET SOCCER YUKI WAS SO COOL i almost wish they gave him a more rough and tumble backstory too like maybe he was from a worse area of the country and grew up just playing soccer on the street and getting in trouble until he was scouted for his good looks as a model and that plus his soccer skills were enough for him to move to a better city or something?? and once he escaped his previous situation he learned how to be super polite and kind in order to prove he’s better than his past and deserves a good life just as much as people born to it…it would also add some continuity if he MUST go crazy in NEL like it’s just him reverting to his childhood personality when put in a stressful situation instead of him randomly crashing out at isagi for no reason and then never doing anything again (with this backstory the reason why he’s chill post manshine would be a combo of him respecting isagi as well as doubling down on his efforts to remain calm and composed because the brief lapse made him feel very guilty and ashamed of himself…then an ego awakening that mirrors hiori’s [in an au where he replaces kunigami’s role in isagi’s two gun volley against pxg] is him realizing “wait i kind of NEED to be a bit of an asshole if i want to be a starter and make a true mark on the field” or something along those lines)

LMAOOO no because from what i know literally every other one of kaneshiro’s mangas besides bllk (lowkey including bllk) are batshit insane he’s kind of a weird guy lowkey 😭 honestly he’s doing a pretty good job with bllk though i don’t think it’s shit at all (especially compared to a certain manga that’s about to end atm) just there’s definitely things i would change too!! but at the end of the day it’s just an entertaining manga abt hot soccer freaks so it’s not that deep yk

100% all ng11 players should’ve been left until much later (excepting sae ofc because he’s there to serve a narrative purpose plus he introduces us to the whole ng11 concept) but anyways…as for the u20s agreed they should’ve left them all out to show how blue lock has surpassed them!! then ONLY exception is aiku (not just because of the oaeu he’s genuinely a good player) i would’ve liked to see him disappearing after the bllk vs u20s match (maybe he fucks off to sweden for a vacay or smth) and then when the u20 world cup team is announced he’s on there as he’s the former captain of the u20s as well as an absolutely INSANE defensive player…maybe ego contacts him and is like “ok bro icl you’ve got mad ego even though you’re not a striker wanna join the crew and not give up on soccer for good???” ALTERNATIVELY: it turns out he has dual citizenship so after the old u20 boys are kicked out and their soccer careers are ended or whatever he disappears and then we see him again in a u20 world cup match against sweden!! this could be a match where the aiku vs barou rivalry established in the ln is settled with barou getting his get back 🤩

LMAOAAO ig my internal self knows where home is (nagi) i can’t escape him 😩 and YES THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO “my cousin used to use hair products to spike his hair up too 🥹” “tf does that have to do with me 😟⁉️” and then he literally adopts her as his baby sister 😭 it allows for plenty of karasu bonding and affection without him being a second lead and complicating things…also i think he’s going to be the one to find reader w barou’s body after her houndoom kills him so that’s a parallel for sure there ☝🏻 LMAOO no literally like i still remember my first ever pokémon game i could NOT beat the champion for some reason so i literally caught a random haunter, taught it destiny bond, and revived one of my other pokémon so when the champion’s last pokémon beat my haunter i still had one pokémon left and i was able to win DKFHSJSJSN that’s the vibe galvantula gives lowkey (in all honesty that’s why i picked it…i needed smth strong against water types because so many of readers pokémon [like donphan and houndoom] are weak to them but i ALSO wanted something that was strong against dark types because of barou’s all-dark type team and i didn’t want reader to have many basic pokémon which meant all of the fairy types were basically out and that only left bug!! however bug-grass is such a shitty typing because 4x weakness to fire is just 😰 and galvantula is the only bug-electric i think so that’s what she got!! but i have such a clear picture of the final fight with galvantula against barou’s sharpedo bro i wish it could be animated because it would be so beautiful 🤩)

HAHAHA magikarp/gyarados and aegislash are tied for craziest acquisition stories (i’ll talk more about aegislash’s in a sec) but basically a fisherman convinces reader she NEEDS a water type so she’s like “oh word ok what do you have” and he’s like “trust this will evolve into something powerful” and she’s like “aight bet” and gives him a (probably rare) pokémon in exchange for a MAGIKARP (cue karasu screaming at her for ten minutes straight and her being like “no it’ll evolve 🥺” and resident pokémon expert tullia being like “uhhh magikarp are almost impossible to evolve LMAO good luck”)

okay wait that could actually go hard…the pokémon government creating the evil team in order to make themselves look better + make people who have valid criticisms of the system unable to voice those concerns (“you think people shouldn’t be thrown into pokémon training without preparation or assistance purely to survive? YOU MUST BE PART OF EVIL TEAM”) i feel like corruption is touched on but it expanded as much in the anime and games (it is a bit in the manga iirc) it could be a really cool conflict that’s a bit deeper than the typical evil team wants to end the world scenario…it also kinda explains how they were able to find and utilize barou’s body in time despite being an “underground crime organization” that shouldn’t have as much funding as they do 😰 and if we go the murder route it’s also an explanation for how someone as strong as him was killed as well as another reason WHY they murked him (couldn’t have barou as champion because barou cannot be controlled) WAIT and maybe that’s why reo’s dad is champion instead of noel noa — noa is stronger but he believes that there should be changes with the way things are done so the government is like “yeah no way you’re going to be champion” and they literally threaten him into faking a loss when he tries to become the champion because they LOVE mr capitalism mikage being the champion as he’s very easily bribed to do and say exactly what they want???

team mc’s dynamic is SO FUNNYYY especially because the nagireo codependency is nipped in the bud as reader awakens nagi’s desire to battle relatively quickly so they’re all on equal footing (except for the fact that their crew is actually reo + his sugar babies you KNOW he’s paying for everything) they definitely have their own crazy adventures while they’re apart from reader and co too…another scene i can envision is nagi challenging reader to a battle and being like “btw i caught a new pokémon” and reader’s like “oh word 😳⁉️ me too” and she releases her little joltik expecting nagi to pull up w like a zigzagoon or smth else really basic and he just casually tosses out a cleffa (i think the clefable line is canonically from the moon in-verse) so she’s like “er wtf” and from the sidelines chigiri’s just like “yeah idk we were on a mountain and there was a spaceship and all…long story, super boring” meanwhile reader and co are like UM??? and it’s just never elaborated on what exactly happened and how nagi ended up with a literal alien on his team

okay wait karasu and hiori knowing each other from their hometown would actually be hilarious as well because imagine the way the whole fossil arc starts is reader and co find a fossil pokémon (maybe hiori’s amaura/aurorus??) and they’re like WHAT THE FUCK because what even is that and then reader is like “karasu what do we do 😰” and karasu is like “WHY WOULD I KNOW” and reader’s just like “idk you just always seem to know a guy” (kind of like how dads always “know a guy” for no reason) and karasu’s about to argue back when he’s like “wait…i actually DO know a guy 😔” and then they go and find hiori and the fossil arc begins after that…no you’re so real i keep coming up with little details for the verse it’s so FUN

ORDINARILY i would say barou is the poffin baker but for obvious reasons we can’t have that…lowkey yk what would be hilarious is gagamaru doing it 😭 i can imagine him foraging for berries and concocting something that just looks INSANE and no one wants to try it so he’s lowkey a hidden secret but yukimiya swears by him (most popular baker is ness but yukimiya thinks ness’s products are more placebos than anything and insists that reader and co go to gagamaru if they ever need anything because he’ll give them the real unfiltered shit w 0 preservatives and whatnot)

WAIT LOWKEY YES tullia and otoya are exactly like misty and brock (lowkey aiku kinda gives gary oak like he WOULD pull up to research sites in a red corvette with a bunch of random cheerleaders HAHAHA it definitely makes otoya fume too because that should be HIM)

THE PERIOD DRAMA IS BASED OFF OF AEGISLASH’S POKÉDEX ENTRY where they like use hypnosis and manipulation to control people and they used to be used as protectors of royalty in the past?? so basically there’s an abandoned aegislash that really wants a trainer and it senses nagi and reader’s vibes and is like “wait they lowkey could be the ones” so it kidnaps them and puts them in this week long hypnosis where they believe they’ve been isekai’d into a world without pokémon where reader is a princess and nagi is a knight who has to retrieve a magic sword in order to win her hand and they’re like WTF is going on but they decide that the best way to escape will be playing along with the plot (clearly without chigiri reo and tabitullieita there the combined brain cell count is like. two.) so nagi goes on this quest to get the magic sword but then he comes back empty handed because he realizes that the magic sword is actually the sword stuck in the stone #kingarthur in front of the palace so he goes to pull it out but he can’t??? and then he’s going to be killed on the spot for failing and for messing with palace property (it’s actually aegislash mad that he’s not worthy because he did it for selfish reasons) so then reader runs over and manages to pull the sword from the stone in time to stop whoever’s trying to kill nagi…then the crowd goes wild and they’re like all hail the new queen (another aegislash test) but she ignores them and puts the sword away to check on nagi because that’s all she REALLY cares about and aegislash is like “hold on she cooked here she’s like not selfish and is assertive and shit” and then she wakes up in her tent with a pokéball in her hand and tabitullieita are like “hello you’ve been missing for a week???” and she’s like “wtf no i just had a really weird dream but i didn’t actually go anywhere” but then she realizes that the pokéball (which she assumed was houndoom’s since houndoom usually sleeps near her) is actually a new one which means it’s a new pokémon she somehow caught?? so she releases it and tullia’s like “wow an aegislash 😮” but READER freaks out because the aegislash is actually the sword from the “dream”…let’s just say the next rival battle w nagi is a little awkward because he also thought it was a dream and didn’t even have proof it was real until reader quite literally throws the evidence in his face 😶‍🌫️

no because i’ve already done 15 requests for bllk since may and i have 12 more left to do PLUS my own projects so i think having them closed for a bit will be good!! and HAHA i will continue to entertain both fictionally and irl 🫡 our conversations are always lengthy but always entertaining fr wouldn’t trade them for anything!!

[stranger-nightmare]

Me again, can I please be 🦔 anon? I don’t think I saw it taken!

But yes!! Billy would 100% fuck and leave, he’s hot but there’s not one bit of compassion in that man.

Steve and Billy’s egos would be clashing and they’d be going as hard as they can, putting every bit of effort in while sweet little Eddie is stroking your face and giving you constant praises to make up for the fact they’re ruining you.

I feel like in this situation, Billy would be purely degrading, Steve sprinkles in a bit of both and Eddie is just 100% praise.

The thought of aftercare from those two though has me melting!! You know they’d also cancel any plans for a few days just to take care of you, probably carry you around when you can’t walk, make sure you have everything you could possible want. No lifting a finger when if comes to aftercare with them…My head is just full of them today🫠

of course my darling! the 🦔 emoji is yours, welcome to my realm of nightmares ;)

I feel like if it’s just you and Billy then he’ll be a lil better about aftercare (I kinda went into a bit in my headcanons on dating him) but yeah I feel like if Steve and Eddie were there he’d be too cocky / think he’s too good for it and just fuck off lmao

asdfghjkl I’m just imaging Steve and Billy basically having a staring contest whilst they fuck you, like it’s in the name of out-doing the each other but ultimately they just end up watching each other while they fuck you and honestly that’s kinda hot, ngl you’d kinda end up just being like a lil fucktoy between the two of them, like you’re just there to be some kind of measure of who’s better out of the two of them (my pussy is quaking over this)

and then Eddie is just paying 100% of his attention to you and how you’re doing, just any part of your body that he can reach, murmuring praises against your skin

getting fucked by three incredibly hot boys to then have two of them just waiting on you hand and foot? now that’s the fucking dream right there fr

- hope

[diaryoflife]

i present to you: part 5! in my head like almost all of these are when they’re having a team meeting at the meeting room table lol :) & suddenly stubborn natasha is a staring contest champion.. she loves y/n, we all know it lmao

[unnecessaryshenanigan]

The Hibernating Sheep

The Hibernating Sheep

Obey Me! Characters x Burnout Office Worker [MC]

I think I did good in these lmao- Haven’t posted in days cuz this excuse of a human is lazy and lost all motivation. My {Who’s MC?} story will be on hold because I’m lazy to even type a single thing for the next chapter😐👌

—

If you’ll choose, you just want to do nothing but breathe. Sleep. Breathe. Sleep. But of course, dear reality is as cruel as ever, you can’t do that. Work your ass off so you could make a living. So you could pay the rent, the bills, the food, the needs and all stuff. Your parents now depend on you since they’re old. Your other siblings have their own lives and family, barely having time for your parents. They’re just earning as much as you, not enough to give support for your parents. 

You can’t just let your parents off, having nothing. You’re not as bad as your siblings who don’t even ask about your parent’s situation or how they’re doing. They only reach out to you when they need money. And that’s how reality sucks that in families, children often forget where they came from; forgetting even their own parents.

“I’m going to work!” You shouted, running to the door and wearing your shoes. Your mother walked to you from the kitchen, holding out a paper bag. 

“What is that?” you asked. Your mother smiled, tucking a loose hair behind your ears.

“It’s just breakfast since I know you won’t be able to have it right now. You should dress up more, [Y/N]. No one will ask you out if you look haggard!”

“I don’t have time for that, mom” You grabbed the paper bag and kissed her cheeks. “Thanks for the take-out breakfast!”

You exited the house, greeted by your father who was gardening. He smiled at you bidding goodbye. You barely made it in time in your workplace. Now, these damned seniors of yours are giving their paperworks to you and ordering you to have O.T since it needs to be done tomorrow. Then, board meeting 2 hours from now. The presentation needs to be perfect. Then, do this and that work that your seniors left you. Then, have lunch for 30 minutes. Then get back to work, do reports, datas, analysis– Oh, it’s already 11:30 at night?

You sighed, leaning on your swivel chair. The day passed by again, everyone already went home and you’re the only one left in the department. 

‘Okay.. This is the last, then I can go home..’ You frowned.

“Who am I kidding? There’s nothing like the ‘last paper’.” You grumbled, returning back your focus to your computer. Seconds. Minutes. Hours had passed, it’s already 2 in the morning. You decided it’s over and enough, locked the department, walked past the eerily silent halls, running into some guards. There’s no vehicle left which leaves you to walk home. 

“Damn bastard seniors. Fuck them all!” You shouted, stomping your feet in irritation. But then, you suddenly felt like you’re falling which forced you to close your eyes. A second pass and your butt landed on the hard floor. 

Your eyes fluttered open, seeing seven-like thrones in front of you. Though, there’s only four people and the seat next to the middle right, left and the seat on the other end is missing. 

A laugh caught your attention and suddenly a big man stood in front of you. Now you feel small seeing that you barely reach his knees.

“Greetings!”

You looked up, seeing a man close-eyed smiling at you or more like at the wind. “I’m Diavolo, Prince of Hell. Soon enough, I will be crowned as the king of this world. Welcome to the Devildom, my Human Exchange Student” 

He opened his eyes but saw nothing. “Huh?” 

“Down here.” you said, making him look down. The two of you had a staring contest and he’s the first one to look away. He blinked a few times then squatted to at least reach you.

“You’re … different?” He poked on your cheeks only to greet his pointer finger an embrace from your fluffy fur. “You’re more like a.. Sheep?”

Your brows knotted. Isn’t it just the man some gian– you touched your cheeks only to feel soft fur. You looked at your hands and you almost had a heart attack! It's feet! Sheep feet! SMALL SHEEP FEET! The colors on your face drained, your lavender-like fur losing its color. 

“I– I am–”

“You’re quite different from Solomon eh?” He looks a bit lost yet still watches you with curiosity. You broke into a cold sweat, still panicking at your current form. 

“I-I’m a sheep…” You trembled. You saw a mirror across you and saw your tiny frame. NO! NAH! You REFUSE!

“I never knew that transmigrating you here will cost you to lose your original form” Diavolo shrugged yet you continued to ignore him. You’re too busy panicking.

“I shall explain the rest” 

A man with black hair, parted on the right side of his face and black eyes with red gradient walked to your way in a sophisticated manner. If you weren’t panicking, you would’ve admired both Diavolo and the man but given the situation, you’re too confused and shocked for that. You stared at him in daze.

“That’s Lucifer, A demon, My right-hand man, and the Avatar of Pride” Diavolo semi-whispered as you two stared at Lucifer. You nodded while pinching your cheeks.

“He’s also my most trusted friend!” Diavolo smiled. “Isn’t he beautiful?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo” Lucifer deadpanned. He turns to you and gives you a smile like how you deal with annoying business partners. 

“This is the council room of The Royal Academy of Diavolo, RAD for short” He started. “This assembly hall is the very heart of RAD. This is where we officers of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business.”

“So? When can I go home?” You were finally able to talk after this quite shock of events. Diavolo looked at you with a smile. You gave him an emotionless look and his smile widened even more.

“Interesting. This one is quite different from Solomon” Lucifer smiled.

“Answer my question.” You demanded, feeling tired. Diavolo nodded at Lucifer and so, he started explaining more.

“It’s good that I don’t have to tell it slowly” He commented, making your brow raise.

“You see, Diavolo believes that we, demons, should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the Celestial Realm. As a first step towards this goal, we’ve decided to institute an exchange program.” Lucifer explained and you listened attentively. “We've sent two of our students to the human world and two to the Celestial Realm. So, we’re welcoming four students to our school; two from your world and two from the Celestial Realm.”

He looked at you with a frown, “You’ve taken it at this point, right? YOU have been chosen among the people in your world to participate in this program of ours.”

You stared in shock as he smiled, “YOU are our newest exchange student. Your period to stay is one year and you have to overcome the tasks we’ll give you. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange here in Devildom.”

“Tasks?!”

You can’t believe it. Tasks?! TASKS?!

Lucifer frowned once again. “You are here as an exchange student. Did you expect to spend your time here fooling around?”

You glared at him, feeling the anger building inside you. Now this has to be a dream, right?! NO DEMONS! NO TASKS! NO EXCHANGE STUDENTS! NO REALMS! NO DIAVOLO! NO LUCIFER!

“Don’t glare at me like that,” Lucifer said, snapping you out of your rageful mind. “It’s not like I will abandon you all by yourself here in Devildom. You need someone to look after you and I think I know who that someone might be.”

Lucifer then took out a phone out of his pocket and handed it to you. Now, now, demons have PHONE?!

“It’s called D.D.D. and it’s a lot like the cell phones of your world. This will be yours to use as long as you’re here. Now go ahead and call Mammon.”

“Who’s Mammon?” you returned.

“Ah, I apologize I forgot.. Mammon will be the one to look after you. He’s my brother and the Avatar of Greed.”

You only nodded and opened the contacts on your D.D.D.. You called the man named Mammon and it didn’t take a second before he answered. 

“Yoooo” he greeted. And, you must admit, he has some good voice over there. 

“Yoooo” you greeted back in the same tone as him. 

“Are ya foolin’ around? Who the hell are ya?”

“I’m a human.”

“Whaaa? A human?” His voice was somewhat disappointed. “Geez, I was gettin’ all chilly here thinkin’ it was Lucifer again. You should have told me sooner!”

“So, what business does a human got with THE Mammon?”

You wanna laugh at his arrogance but just shrugged it off. Now this demon sounds fun huh?

“Lucifer said that you’ll be incharge of me now.”

“No way! There’s nothin’ in it for me.” You rolled your eyes, starting to get irritated.. “Whaddya even mean by, ‘be in charge of you’?”

“I’m the Human Exchange student”

“AAH! I get it now, you’re the other human– the new exchange student!” You kinda put away the phone from your ears when he suddenly shouted.

“G’luck with that. See ya.”

“Lucifer called for you.”

“Pfft– whatever. Ya think THE Mammon would listen to ya just ‘cause you’re tryin’ to scare me with that name?”

“Okay listen here, you demon.” you started, making Lucifer stop. He was about to intervene in the conversation. “I don’t want you to look after me too. Whether it’s Lucifer who called you or anybody, you’re needed here and you’re being called. I don’t have much patience because you see, I didn’t get a wink of sleep and now I’m in Hell as an exchange student. Get in here before I lose my sanity. You’ll have ten seconds and my countdown starts now.”

You ended the call, didn’t bother to hear his reply. Diavolo stared at you in amusement while Lucifer was in disbelief. A human ordering a demon?

“That seems like a good chat” Lucifer soon smiled. You only gave him a look and stood impatiently. 

“Why, you’re soooo cute!” A squeal made your head turn then you saw a man with champagne-colored hair, with long swept bangs on the left side walk into you, raising his phone. “Look at you, all soft lavender! I’ve gotta post your pic in Devilgram before the Newspaper club finds you!”

He hovers over you and you try your best to hide your face from him. 

“He’s Asmodeus, Avar of Lust,” Diavolo explained, laughing.

“Hello, Human” A blonde man with green eyes then greeted you, his left hand resting on his chest. “I welcome you in my utmost sincerity” 

“He’s Satan, The Avatar of Wrath” Diavolo introduced again.

“Hey, is that sheep the dinner tonight?” A muscular man with messy orange hair then appeared, eating. You frowned, unamused.

“Yes, that’s why I’m here” You replied yet he shrugged off the sarcasm. 

“Beelzebub, The Avatar of Gluttony” He introduced himself. You barely nodded at him.

“I’M HERE!” The loud voice boomed in the room. You saw the same man on your phone. White messy hair, tan skin, and clear blue eyes with yellow gradient. Well, this man looks good in person.

“Mammon.” Lucifer called and the man straightened up. You snickered but before he could introduce himself, a big wave of water destroyed the wall, flooding the room. And, you float. Your face was the definition of “I give up”. Diavolo picked you up, laughing.

“Excuse me but.. What’s funny?” you asked in an irritated tone. “Is something funny?”

“Oh, I apologize. It’s just that, the brothers' antics never failed to amuse me.” He replied awkwardly, half laughing.

“Well it’s not amusing to me” You saw his smile falter a bit. Sure you came off rude but with what’s happening now, there’s nothing FUN in here. Suddenly being dragged to hell as some ‘exchange student’, your human body disappearing, you in a small sheep’s body– everything is too complicated. 

“Mammon you idiot! GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY!” The man with indigo side swept hair shouted in fury. Ah, so he’s the one who flooded the room, huh? But what’s with the mass of water?

“Leviathan” Lucifer called. “You summoned Lotan again?”

You shivered as you felt his dangerous aura. Mental note, don’t mess with Lucifer.

“S-Sorry–” The indigo-haired man answered. “But I’m just here to take back my money from Mammon!”

“Argh. Seriously, Levi?! I already got ya your oh so beloved Ruru-chan figure!” You turned to Mammon who was in his demon form. “Means, the money I owed ya is now PAID!”

“Nah-ah! The figure you got me was like two months ago and I asked you that! What I’m asking is the money I lent you last week!” Leviathan argued.

“Is this their daily lives?” You asked Diavolo.

“Well, it’s not the fullest but yes, this is their normal lives”

“Where am I gonna stay my whole year here in Devildom?”

“ House of Lamentation.”

“Their home?”

“Yes, their home”

“I’m screwed.”

“But you accept the exchange event now?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Diavolo chuckled and you just drooped, your energy reaching its lowest level. 

“I’m really tired and.. I want to sleep.” You requested Diavolo. To be honest, in your position right now, you felt like a baby being dulled in Diavolo’s arms. “I badly want to sleep, please?”

Diavolo then distracted the brother’s from their shenanigans, telling them that it would be best if they go home now. He gave you to Mammon, like a baby being passed to another’s arms. Mammon disagreed at first but seeing you, trying to stay awake, he just let you fall asleep in his arms. 

—

Pt. 2 coming right up!:) [unless I don’t loose motivation TvT]

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

eyy, same on the bi viktor hc and shipping helen and vik 🤝

i spef hc viktor as having not figured out being bi yet, as of current canon, but after taking time to settle into realizing he’s trans he realizes his feelings towards dudes isn’t just gender envy and he’s like holy shit, and has a bit of a crisis. spef hc that sexuality crisis occurs between the end of s3 and the probably inevitable s4 timeskip we’ll have thx to elliot’s voice being deeper during filming. the vik realizing he’s bi is probably be more then a bit complicated thx to his trauma w leonard 😔😔

imo 1) s1 viktor defo had a bit of a crush on helen 2) people take helen’s words way more harsh then they were actually meant, like i think she was probably a bit frustrated, bc viktor had been in third chair for years and the being late thing seemed like a somewhat regular occurrence, but while she’s a bit frustrated, she said the stuff she did outta tough love type thing/she)s one of those people who believes that being blunt helps people more often then not

all this partially just to say i think viktor and helen as a rivals to lover’s relationship would probably be more rivalry on viktor’s part then helen’s. there’d be mutual rivalryship, yes, but viktor would care about the rivalry a lot more then helen would which i think is absolutely hillarious

i like imagining and hoping (tho it’s obv unlikely) that viktor meets helen again in s4, bc they’re just cute

Okay yesss to all of this!! I doubt Viktor’s gonna meet Helen again in S4 but I REALLY WANT HIM TO bc it could show just how much he’s grown from S1. I feel like Helen was trying to give an honest critique ngl - we KNOW Viktor had been trying for other positions than third chair, so imo she was trying to give some honest advice that just came off as kinda rude.

So Viktor meeting her again and having that passion she said he lacked now that he’s off his pills would be so cool imo!!

Lmao yeah, I meant ‘enemies to lovers’ in the ‘got off on the wrong foot, single sided rivalry, oh shit they’re hot’ kind of way. I could absolutely see Viktor having a single sided rivalry with Helen - hey, Luther and Diego got a rivalry so now it’s his turn!

...And if that eventually turns into a romantic violin contest that ends w them leaning into each other and staring into each other’s eyes, who’s gonna tell?

I also 100% agree w you that he hasn’t figured out he’s bi yet. I feel like what happened with Leonard would make him a bit anxious to date men for a while tbh, so it would be difficult for him to figure it out. I really hope we can see canon bi Viktor in S4 (but then that’s what I said about bi Diego in S3 so ahaha), and I hope they like... actually address the trauma that leonard caused?? Bc it feels like they kinda ignored that for the past two seasons.

[jerzwriter]

Even though Ethan/Tobias/Kaycee/Casey are doctors, have they ever panicked when they’re little girl/girls was sleeping and looked like they wasn’t breathing? (I always panicked 😭 I always stare at them or move them to make sure, yk. When babies sleep , they are out COLD like,my god)

OMG Yes. lol I think the worst night's sleep I ever got in my life was the first night my child slept straight through. Mind you, it took FOREVER, and I thought I'd never get a full night's sleep again. So it finally happens! And what do I do, wake up every 20 minutes to make sure the poor dear was still breathing. lol So I feel this on a personal level.

Ethan/Kaycee-land: Initially, they're both worry-warts, with Ethan winning the most worried of the warts contest. I see Angelcare monitors and frequent visits to check on Emma as part of their routine.

And I saw your follow-up. I can picture Ethan waking her once when he was a little concerned, and the poor thing wailed for hours. After that, he took his Dad's advice (and, yes, Alan is a worry wart, too!). He holds a compact mirror close to her nose to see if it fogs.

That's what I did... follow me for trashfics and lifehacks, my friends! lmao

But they do learn to calm down in time. I think by the time Emma is six-months-old, they will have a handle on it.

Tobias/Casey-land: Tobias is pretty much cool as a cucumber with most things, but the first days back home with their new little girl, well, that wasn't the easiest thing for him to deal with. He was worried about Casey, worried about Samantha, wanting Casey to rest, worrying when Samantha was quiet for too long. Poor guy needed a vacation. But after the first few days, he was pretty chill, especially when he decided that Samantha's role in life was to scare the shit out of him every few hours or so.

Casey was a little calmer than Kaycee, but she had her moments. She knew the mirror trick from Rose, but there was a good half-dozen times when she poked poor Sammy awake, just to be sure.

I think they are a little better after Brooke and then Kayla's births. They followed one of my good friend's policies on babies. "The first one, if the pacifier falls to the floor, you run and boil it before the baby gets it back. The second you look at it, make sure there's no visible dirt, maybe stick it in your own mouth real fast, and hand it back. The third? The dog retrieves it and hands it back to the baby, and you're ok with it." lol Maybe not to that extent, but they calm down.

Thanks so much for the fun ask!

[mrsbrekkers]

Hello

I LOVED companionable silence, thank you very much!!

Can I request another one? Maybe a Jesper Fahey imagine? The reader is a part of the Dregs and Kaz trusts her and is like a brother but she has a rivalry with Jesper and he's jealous that Kaz trusts her but he finds the truth behind it. Maybe Kaz saved her from something.

Hope that made sense. Thank you <3

hello there friend! and of course! i had a LOT of fun writing for kaz :) and i adore writing for jesper, so this came to me pretty easily which is nice because for the past 3 days i had been on other requests that didn't give me inspo

this is really just the crows becoming annoyed at the bickering that reader and jesper do and locking them in a fridge to think out their bickering ways LMAO

reader is they/them as per usual in my jesper fics!

pairings! jesper x reader ( romantically implied ) / kaz x reader ( platonic ) / kaz x inej / nina x matthias all implied

warnings! none? swearing, all of the crows being done with reader and jesper being annoying, but also crows shipping reader and jesper haha

words! 3152

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Fighting for the affection of Kaz Brekker was something Jesper Fahey never thought would happen. Maybe it wasn’t affection, but rather admiration? Trust? Whatever it was, he found himself seeking it, and Y/N was getting in his damned way. They’d joined the Dregs and instantly it felt like he’d been replaced. The rivalry started there, and slowly, over time, it became something the Crows dreaded. Especially when Kaz would purposefully pair the two together.

Which, in Jesper’s humble opinion? Was incredibly stupid.

“Who’s this?” Jesper asked Kaz, who had walked into a relatively slow day at the Crow Club, someone in tow behind him. It wasn’t unlike Kaz to bring in new Dreg members every once in a while. Actually, it was almost every week at this point. He had his ways.

“The newest Crow,” Kaz said, glancing back at the shadow behind him, nodding slightly. Watching the newest crow step forward, their eyes landed on Jesper first.

“Y/N,” was all they said, eyes scanning all of the crows. It was clear the Crows were a bit confused. What had enticed their boss to bring someone new in? Were they going to be working on a new job?

“What special ability do they have?” Nina asked. Knowing their boss, he didn’t bring in anybody that was like someone else they had. What would be the point?

“Super senses. Hearing, sight, smell, all of it, is heightened,” Y/N responded, stepping in front of Kaz, finally getting a full view of the other five Crows surrounding the room. It was clear to them that they were a bit confused, as anyone would be.

“You’re Grisha then?” Jesper asked, to which Y/N tilted their head in thought. Technically, yes, but a Grisha without a color, and one who’d never been seen or heard about before.

“Yes, but my Grisha kind doesn’t have a name, nor does it have any history.”

From there, Jesper wasn’t sure what initiated the rivalry. He could easily say that it was the fact that he missed being Kaz’s right hand. But he also didn’t enjoy Y/N’s constant critiquing of how he would do on jobs. Then again, he did the same. It was a constant back and forth between the two. The two could barely do anything together. They found themselves bickering over the smallest incidents. One was late to their post? Bickering. One had won a hand of cards? Bickering. One had drunk the orange juice meant for one of them? Bickering, bickering, bickering. The team was sick of it. They heard it every day, and it was pushing them all to the edge.

“What even started this?” Inej asked, causing the Crows to all look at her, all except Jesper and Y/N, who were staring at one another, narrow eyed. The other Crows murmured in agreement, watching the two seemingly have a staring contest.

Kaz then entered the room, seeing the usual staring contest that happened daily. “They’re fighting again?” He inquired, his eyes rolling at how childish the two acted. The rest of the crows nodded, looking over at their boss, who ran a gloved hand down his face. He didn’t believe in team building exercises, that's what heists were for. But the Crows were at their breaking point, including himself.

Bringing Y/N onto the team hadn’t been much of a conscious decision at first, but after saving them from almost dying, as he had most of the Crows, he felt they’d be useful. Not just that, but he’d known Y/N for almost as long as he had Inej. They were a close friend, and he felt that after some time, years to be exact, that they should meet the Crows. He talked about them with Y/N all the time. Hell, they often were helping behind the scenes when it came to heists. They’d unknowingly saved the Crows dozens of times. Mainly because of their heightened hearing, and what Pekka Rollins believed was his agent, was actually Kaz’s agent.

Kaz didn’t expect this to happen. For a rivalry to bloom from meeting Y/N. Sure, he expected some amount of teasing, they were the Crows after all. Being a part of the group meant being teased for something, but a full out war between two people? Over him? He rarely found any amount of quiet anymore. He was at his breaking point.

Which led to the current situation at hand. Inej had proposed the idea; lock Y/N and Jesper into a room of sorts and make them situate their differences. It sounded childish at first, but after the recent fight the two had? He didn’t think it was any more childish than the two fighting was.

“Is this seriously what you’re mad about? Me drinking your orange juice Jesper?!” Y/N yelled across the Crow Club, directing most of the players' attention onto them. They casted a glare across the Club, only deterring a few onlookers from their staring problem.

“It was MINE! It had MY name on it Y/N! Not yours! Jesper Fahey was written across the front of it! You did this on purpose!” Jesper yelled back, crossing his arms as he stormed across the Club, ready to confront Y/N head on.

“I didn’t see the name, and even if I had, why would you leave it in the Club fridge?! It’s not Jesper Fahey’s fridge. Frankly, it’s the Club’s fridge, making it a free game!” Y/N stormed forward as well, eyes directly looking into Jesper’s, but before they could come face to face, the Crow head of Kaz’s cane came between them.

“Seriously? Is this what Inej has to come and tell me you’re arguing about?” Kaz asked, eyebrows raised expectantly. The Dregs were losing customers because of the two now, and frankly, Kaz wasn’t going to have that. Especially since, when he lost, Pekka Rollins benefitted.

“It’s because they drank my orange juice, Kaz. If anyone did the same to you, you’d be pretty upset! Not only that, they did it on purpose! They’re trying to get a rise out of me.” Jesper now looked at his boss, expecting the man to take his side, but Kaz simply rolled his eyes, huffing.

“And you certainly let them, didn’t you?” Kaz challenged, looking directly at Jesper with a tilted head.

Now Y/N and Jesper were stuck in the Crow Club freezer, which had been warmed just slightly, and blankets were left in the back just in case it became too cold.

“You two are going to figure out your shit, and then we’ll let you out. You can’t lie your way out either, Nina here is going to make sure of it,” Kaz spoke, the door locked and a smirk lie on his lips. He wouldn’t let the two freeze, but they’d be back in that freezer every day until they figured out why they were arguing, that was a promise he’d keep.

“What the hell Kaz?!” Jesper and Y/N said in unison, glaring the man down. But he was already limping away, planning on enjoying the silence he’d have in his office for once. No worries about hearing Y/N and Jesper down in the Crow Club arguing over orange juice.

Y/N turned to the back of the freezer, they’re anger rising as they huffed and shook their head. “This?!” They gestured around them, grabbing the blankets in the back, planning on hoaging them. “Is your fault,” they slid down the freezer wall, now wrapped in the two blankets.

“Give me one of those you blanket hog,” Jesper snatched one of the blankets, watching Y/N shiver for a moment before they went back to glaring at Jesper. Sliding down the opposite wall, the two glared at one another. Jesper couldn’t remember the moment he’d felt threatened by Y/N. He hadn’t known about them until Kaz had introduced them to the Crows. So maybe it irked him that the man he worked for had so many secrets, which wasn’t something Jesper didn’t know about before.

Kaz had too many secrets for Jesper to count. He could compile a list twenty miles long if he truly tried. The matter for Jesper was that one of those secrets was someone that could’ve been helping them from the get go. Someone that had been helping under the veil of secrecy. Someone Kaz would go to that wasn’t Inej and none of Crows were in the know of it. It involved someone Jesper didn’t know. Someone he didn’t trust, and now he was blaming Y/N for it.

Not just that, but Jesper wasn’t used to not being the right hand man. Because despite what Kaz would say out loud, he did trust Jesper, more than a lot of people. It seemed that trust was shared with someone Jesper didn’t know, which also irked him. He could trust Inej: he did trust Inej. He however, didn’t trust Y/N. Or . . . he did, in life or death scenarios. Because despite their rivalry, they’d saved him from dying several times, and vice versa.

“Jesper, behind you!” Y/N yelled, seeing a man lifting his gun behind Jesper, but Jesper was quicker. Pulling his gun out, he turned, shooting the man in the hand, making him drop the gun, and then a second bullet through the man's head. He glanced back, seeing Y/N walk up behind him, looking down at the man who’d almost ended their lives, and the heist they were on.

“Thanks, I owe you one,” Jesper managed to get out, his heart racing. Maybe it was because of the job. The adrenaline he got from it. Or maybe, it was because of Y/N saving him. “I knew you cared,” he decided to tease, smirking just slightly.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, sharpshooter. Simply didn’t want Kaz killing me for letting someone kill you,” Y/N covered, glancing up at Jesper and scoffing as they saw the smirk. Elbowing him in his ribs, they walked off, ready to gather the information they needed.

Y/N narrowed their eyes as they looked at Jesper, their mind racing. What started the rivalry for them? They blamed Jesper for starting it. They’d come in open minded, he had closed minded. Now it’d evolved into daily bickering. But even Y/N could admit that Jesper was a necessary part of this team. He’d saved them several times, and not just during missions, but outside of such as well.

A kick landed to their face, and then to their abdomen, knocking them down. Y/N was a good enough fighter, but they couldn’t hold their own against two men bigger than them. Plus, they were outnumbered without their usual weapon. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Y/N, I swear if you-” but Jesper turned the corner, seeing them down on the ground, going eye-wide when his eyes met the two men above them. His hands found his guns, lifting them out of their holsters. The two men heard the small sounds of the guns, turning to see they were both at gunpoint.

“I doubt you want a bullet in your neck,” was all Jesper said before watching them scurry off. He quickly holstered his guns, rushing over to Y/N and picking them up. They were out cold, having passed out some time between the kick to their face and abdomen. When they did start waking, it was in the slat, laying on a bed that wasn’t theirs, Jesper above them.

“What happened?” They asked, Jesper huffing as he brushed a few strands of hair out of their face, trying to get to a bruise on their cheek.

“You were jumped,” Jesper said quietly, placing the warm rag against their cheek. Y/N hummed in acknowledgment to the rag, taking it into their hands to hold, but Jesper batted their hand away.

“Go figures,” Y/N murmured, closing their eyes once more. They leaned into the rag, craving the warmth. They felt the slightest touch of Jesper’s fingers graze their cheek, a small smile gracing their lips.

“You do care.” Jesper did care, but he simply hummed in acknowledgment just as Y/N had below him moments before.

“Get some rest.”

“But your bed-”

“I don’t plan on using it tonight, business to attend to,” Jesper cut Y/N off.

“You sound like Kaz,” Y/N laughed just slightly, but winced in pain at the pain in their ribs. The men had broken one or two of them for sure.

“Never say that about me again,” Jesper chuckled, watching as Y/N dozed off, clearly exhausted and in pain. It was better for them not to know what Jesper had planned. He wasn’t going to let the men get away with this, but for once, he didn’t think a quick death was worthy. They’d hurt Y/N. But it wasn’t like he cared that much? Did he?

“Why do you hate me?” Y/N asked, their eyes on Jesper in the freezer across from them.

“Why do you hate me?” Jesper asked back, his eyes narrowing on the bundled Grisha. Heightened senses likely made them a little colder than he was currently. Maybe they hadn’t taken the second blanket to spite him. Or they had, but with their own health taken into account.

“I asked first,” Y/N responded, pulling the blanket around them tighter.

“Well there's drinking and eating my food. Being rude during jobs. Flirting with every person in sight-”

“You do that too, Jesper, that isn’t just a me thing,” Y/N pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Was that really a reason he hated them? No, that was a stupid reason to hate someone.

“See, I do it with flair, you do not.” Jesper wasn’t sure why he hated them. His reasons were stupid. They were cover ups, and he knew it. He knew he didn’t hate Y/N. How could anyone hate them? Despite everything, they’d been kind at the beginning.

“That’s stupid, Jesper! Come on now!”

“It isn’t stupid!”

“Yes it is! I don’t hate you because of it!”

“I don’t hate you!” Jesper blurted out, and Y/N simply tilted their head in question, now rendered silent. That was a new one. Y/N L/N silent. Jesper almost commented on it, but he knew now was not the time. He’d tease them about it later when he wasn’t under fire for hating someone he didn’t hate.

“I simply am . . . jealous maybe? Is that the right word for this? Envious?” Jesper was now running a hand down his face, placing his head in the same hand moments later.

“Jealous? What is there to be jealous of?” Y/N asked, laughing a bit. Their life had been horrible. Everyone’s life in the Barrel was pretty shitty to say the least. To get here it also had to be pretty shitty, or you got pulled into it like Jesper had. Still, jealous?

“Your damned relationship with Kaz. I don’t understand it. You waltzed in and were his best friend from the start. Which told me you knew him before I did. Maybe that frightened me because I was now replaceable by this amazing person. Because you have to be pretty fucking amazing to be Kaz Brekker’s best friend,” Jesper ranted, watching Y/N’s lips pull up into a smile.

“He saved me, Jesper. I met him months after Inej, and just months before you met him. I was down pretty bad in the Barrel, and I was using my heightened senses to steal from different clubs. I had to travel around to make sure I wasn’t caught, but Kaz wasn’t stupid. Every time I’d come in he knew, and one day, he stopped me.”

“You’re stealing,” The Bastard of the Barrel spoke, Y/N opposite of his desk, sitting.

“I am not.”

“You’re cheating. You’ve been here every Friday night, because you know it’s when the tables are easiest to play. You’re Grisha, I observed that when I first saw you. I’d assume Heartrender based on your play. You use it to know when people are lying, and you switch tables every ten minutes to the highest bidding table, and you win Every. Time. You also swipe money when nobody's looking, I know that trick like the back of my hand,” Kaz spoke, leaning over the desk, watching the Grisha go eye wide.

But Kaz stalled for a few moments. For a moment, he saw himself in their eyes, and that’s all it took for the Bastard of the Barrel to stop leaning forward and sit back in his chair. Pointing for his men to leave the room, he glanced over Y/N.

“I’m not doing it because I enjoy it,” Y/N spoke, sucking in a frightened breath. They felt squeamish in their seat, as if they were going to be killed at any moment, but then the men left, and they felt just slightly better.

“I know,” and that was Kaz had let on about it, but Y/N saw the look in his eyes, and they knew it all too well. He’d been at a point like this before as well, except the getting caught part. That was something Kaz never dealt with was being caught. Maybe in those moments sitting across from Y/N, he’d wished he had been, but nobody would’ve been merciful. Not like he was. He would’ve been killed, and he’d already been taught that strangers in Ketterdam weren’t kind. But that day he showed just some kindness.

“He saved you like the rest of us,” Jesper inquired, sighing. How had he been so blind? His jealousy had made him an asshole. A jealous asshole who couldn’t think about anything other than said jealousy. “I’m sorry,” he added, glancing up at Y/N now, seeing them shake their head.

“I’m sorry too. I’ve been an ass as well. We both have,” Y/N said, shivering a bit more. Jesper moved, going to sit next to Y/N and give them the blanket he had.

“You had every right to be an ass, Y/N. I was being an ass to you about everything, you were simply repaying the favor,” Jesper said with a small laugh. He pulled Y/N into his shoulder.

“So, you don’t hate me either?” Jesper asked then, looking down at Y/N.

“Not one bit,” Y/N let out a laugh.

Nina then busted through the door, clapping. “Finally! No more bickering!” She exclaimed, bending down in front of Y/N and Jesper, glancing between the two of them.

Jesper simply nodded, looking down at Y/N and lifting them up, carrying them out of the freezer. The rest of the Crows watched, confusion locked on their features. What had changed in such a short amount of time? What had Y/N told Jesper to make him stop hating them?

“What the hell?” Inej whispered, crossing her arms.

“Ten Kruge they get together by the end of the week,” Wylan spoke, hand out for an agreement with Inej, who looked over at Wylan, smirking.

“Twenty it takes them less than three days,” Inej raised a brow.

“You’re on,” Wylan said, his hand shaking Inej’s.

[bravenot]

Reactions C3E5

Liam staring at Sam and re-evaluating his best friend choices during this “I’m a cat” bit

fcg is getting full-on microaggressed rn

“May I have a sidebar with my friends for just a moment? Could you earmuffs?” (ToT)

“I love this little metal person here” me too mr random npc

Matt wearing pyjamas. king behaviour.

fcg helping fearne steal the potion >:}

and sams little happy dance because fcg doesn’t have to worry about money :’)

I love that ashton has a bad memory and I’m guessing it might be because of his head injury but it’s also super relatable, not being able to remember where you stand with someone lmao, out of sight out of mind

I would not feel comfortable around imogen knowing she could read my mind at any moment wow

Marisha and Taliesin’s staring contest HEHEHEHEHEhehehe

Dugger is definitely eating people

toothpaste dwarf…💀rip his collarbones I guess

Marisha is right to hate this shadecreeper-back-spawn description

“hippily” is now in my vocabulary thank u ashley

Death by skittering

Fearne can NOT DIE NOT NOW

at this rate the party should be called the Anti Furnishing Association. The Free From Furniture Federation. Witches Against Wardrobes.

Letters nooooo!

“There’s probably lots of dorians!” “It’s a big city,” “yeah!” “And they’re-“ “lots of them are blue” “…blue”

Dorian scoffs “I don’t see colour.”