#They know he has high intelligence
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Reacting like that turns out to be a mistake. Now LBM knows that button garners a big reaction. It's his new favorite button. He carries it with him everywhere and attempts to take it away are met with violent force the likes of which Bats didn't even know LBM was capable of.
We've all seen baby man Danny doing crazy stuff like take over the world and become president, mayor, defeat cults, or become a pet.
So imagine the typical baby man Danny being adopted by the Batfam
But one of the bat kids having the bright idea of giving him dog buttons
Made a real quick animation
#They know he has high intelligence#But they probably don't know how high#Plus maybe Danny's mental capacities are more limited in this form#So it might even be a true assumption#But the Bats don't think LBM has the capacity to understand swears#They assume that in LBM's brain 'bitch' is no different than 'meanie'#So it's not like they can really discipline him for swearing#Not if they don't think he's capable of understanding why it's considered wrong#And again - maybe these assumptions about LBM's mental capacities are correct#Or maybe they aren't and Danny is (half)living for it
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck
#ingital#did you know there's a bit in ingital i cut out where he tells Neuvillette they have to go get their kids tested. it's cut out of the carol#and vautrin scene. because I wanted to recontextualise carole's canon story as like about her social ostracisation because she's#a weird little girl with a very strong sense of justice (autistic like her dad lol). and I wanted it to just be a family moment where#wriothesley just very casually suggests getting their kids tested to see if they need additional support. and its just because i wanted it#to be seen as a very normal. even slightly positive moment (carole you're just like your papa!). because . you dont often see an autism#diagnosis as a Normal thing. much less a silly fun thing. and Ingital is silly fun the fic#the thing is. I specifically sat down and told myself. I'm gonna write a neurotypical man because not every single guy in my fic has to be#neurodivergent. when I write wriothesley it's usually more about trauma cptsd and high functioning depression anyway.#but I am autistic. even my trauma/depression/mentally ill experience is viewed through autistic lens. which is why im like#I should learn how to write a neurotypical man right. this is so dire. because what if i CANT. GOD#severe trauma does things to your neurotype anyway so he's Not Neurotypical but GODDDDDDDDDDD I made the fucking. disorganised#basement dwelling tech nerd gag in the latest chapter. and I FORGOT THAT THAT'S TIPPING INTO AUDHD TROPES/STEREOTYPES.#I know this had potential to go into audhd territory from Day 1 when I decided he fucking dwells on stack exchange#but i told myself. well. just because he's a nerd and highly intelligent doesn't mean he's audhd. right. because if he still#has relatively normal sensory experiences (outside of ptsd/other mental illness symptoms) and is still within normal range of organisation#then he's not audhd. because the difference between audhd disorganisation/dysregulation and similar symptoms in depression/other illnesses#IS THAT HE'S STILL GONNA BE DISORGANISED WHEN HE'S NOT DEPRESSED!!!!!!! And he's not depressed in his little basement enclosure.#that . level of happy chaos. is exactly how he naturally operates when he's allowed to do what he wants. I fucking made him audhd AGAIN#and he even has his own extremely strange way of naming files.
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i feel like for the rest of my life i will be walking around totally normal and then periodically, i will be absolutely brained with a metaphorical anvil falling off the side of a building that represents the absolute bafflement i have towards modern adaptations of sherlock holmes and their treatment of irene adler. bbc's most recent adaptation in particular.
im so sorry. please repeat. she was stupid u say??? and i'm sorry, IN LOVE with him u say??????
i'm a feminist so i think women are capable of being in love and also of being stupid. they can do anything they put their minds to ofc ❤️. but this is too far even for me.
it's just that i can't understand why you would choose to write a narrative that is more mysoginistic than the source material when the source material was written in 1891.
was it intentional? did they somehow not pick up on the implications? was it random?
i can't fathom it. it keeps me awake.
#sherlock holmes#irene adler#bbc sherlock#guy ritchie sherlock holmes#that one noir holmes set in the 40s?#idk i might have made that up#you know what actually i'm thinking about the guy richie one now too#GOD!!!!!!!#men should me shot in the streets for what they did to my girl#it's just the complete inability to imagine her as being powerful in any way that does not relate to being underestimated as a woman#which is not to say that this is not an interesting thread to explore in a more thorough character study#but!#the notion that who she is as a character is the unique utilization of feminity and sexuality to obstruct the power of men#thereby making her own power a power only in reaction#does such a disservice to the core of her initial character and the point that she made#and also this relates to the obsession with adler as a villain#because adler isn't necessarily smarter than holmes - she totally may be - but that doesn't actually matter#what matters is that she outsmarts him#and she wins at the game he plays#she tails him - she disguises herself and isn't recognized - she preempts his actions through logical analysis (she takes his role)#and equally important - she holds the moral high ground she protects the vulnerable#so many of the cases holmes takes on deal with the exploitation of women by society - motherhood marriage reputation gendered labor#this is a case where holmes has become the perpetrator of a crime he would usually work to prevent or avenge#adler takes up his role where he has failed terribly to do so - as a result her power within this narrative is identical to his#it doesn't come from her gender or even necessarily from her intelligence (though these are important traits)#narratively speaking at least - she wins because she deserves to and her morality gives her power#it is that power which is always what i think is important about sherlock holmes when he lives up to it#to me he never truely wins by being smart - he only ever wins by being kind and wanting people to be safe and treated fairly#ALSO WHERE IS HER HUSBAND WHO SHE LOVES AND WHO RESPECTS HER YOU FIENDS!!!!!! she could never love holmes! she is loved by a better man#sorry!!!
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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Mishima Sen, the Interpersonal Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence. Sen excels in interpersonal intelligence, the ability to deeply understand the emotions and motivations of others. His empathy allows him to sense and even manipulate the feelings of those around him, making him exceptionally perceptive. It is what makes him a good artist but also a good listener, a good shoulder to cry on, a good company, a good conversationalist. He sees and understands, he reads people/ His weakness: Sen's deep emotional awareness, however leads to obsession and compulsiveness. Instead of focusing on his own emotional needs, he often suppresses them, choosing to delve into the emotional states of others. This makes him compulsively interested in other people’s feelings, to the point where he loses himself and risks dangerous over-involvement. His ability to manipulate emotions, although is not always intentional, but if he uses that on someone, it can lead to darker, obsessive behaviors where he bends others to his will or spirals into unhealthy relationships. The more he feeds this need, the more likely he becomes a threat, both to himself and others.
Ueno Junji, the logical-Mathematical Intelligence.
Junji is the logical-mathematical intelligence, excelling in critical thinking, problem-solving, and understanding complex systems like geopolitics and societal structures. His intellect enables him to analyze situations which makes him an effective journalist with the ability to unearth hidden truths. His weakness: Junji's weakness is his lack of self-awareness, particularly regarding his own intellectual limits. While he is undoubtedly smart, his confidence in his intelligence leads to arrogance. It blinds him to potential errors in judgment. His belief that he can outsmart others leads him to lead grand schemes—assuming he can maintain a facade as a reputable journalist while secretly engaging in criminal activities. Ultimately, his inability to accurately evaluate his intelligence will bein his downfall, as he overplays and gets caught.
Yamazaki Dai, the Intrapersonal Intelligence, Business and Strategic Intelligence. Dai’s intelligence lies in intrapersonal intelligence, which is the deep understanding of oneself combined with business intelligence. He is aware of his strengths and weaknesses and possesses the strategic mindset to run a large criminal organization as efficiently as a corporate empire. Dai can think long-term, weigh risks, and make calculated decisions, blending knowledge of finance, and law with his inherited sense of duty. His weakness: Despite his self-awareness, Dai is confined by responsibility. He gres up with an almost uncontrollable violent side that conflicted with his duties. He must constantly manage and suppress his primal instincts as he ages, to remain a composed leader his clan needs. This internal conflict creates tension within him, where his responsibilities prevent him from unleashing his true self, a more violent and impulsive person. If pushed too far, he could snap, endangering both his leadership and the stability of the Yamazaki Clan.
Kimura Taketa, the Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence, Street Smart. Kimura is the bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, where his physical abilities and survival instincts are highly developed. His street smarts enable him to navigate the criminal underworld with ease, relying on adaptability, quick thinking, and hands-on problem-solving. He understands how to survive in dangerous environments by leveraging his experience rather than academic knowledge that he couldn't have. His weakness : Kimura's life of pure violence and lack of emotional intelligence are his greatest weaknesses. While his bodily and practical intelligence allow him to survive, fight and rise, they come at the cost of empathy and emotional understanding. He is cold and detached, treating survival as a game of brutality. This detachment leaves him emotionally barren, incapable of forming meaningful connections or understanding the emotional consequences of his actions. His worldview is devoid of empathy, which isolates him from others and makes him dangerous in a way too.
#yes I was looking into forms of intelligences and assigned one to each of my boys#also classified them as the most “intelligent” to the least by considering all the intelligence combined together#sen severly lacks intrapersonal intelligence for example but he's pretty high on all the intelligence forms and the more he learns ...#kim is street smart he's the most likely to survive among all these motherfuckers but he's just your typical yakuza boy he got no academics#junji and dai are in the middle - they're a mix / not in the same way but they are#dai is arrogant and loud BUT he knows his limits which makes him a good leader he has to always measure and know where he's going#meanwhile junji is completely blind to his own limits despite being more book smart than a dai for example#神 : 𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐝𝐚𝐢. / the leader.#神 : 𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐝𝐚𝐢. / headcanons.#犬 : 𝐤𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐚. / the hound.#犬 : 𝐤𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐚. / headcanons.#変 : 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐧. / the artist.#変 : 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐧. / headcanons.#囁 : 𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐨 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢. / the mad.#囁 : 𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐨 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢. / headcanons.
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just in case anyone thought i was exaggerating about how stupid my coworkers think i am today one of them told me i could write "turbid which is like the scientific word for cloudy" on a urinalysis sticker. i have a college degree in a science
#god and the worst part is i think theyre partially correct#like i'm not As dumb as they think i am but i am definitely stupider than i used to be and it is driving me completely insane#i genuinely don't know if its the depression or chronic weed use or like i'm just suddenly brain damaged in the last 6 months or so#but it's really really bad. i think it has gotten a little better since starting my current antidepressant but my short term memory is like#unbelievably bad. it was never good but i literally cannot remember anything now. i have to stop thinking about this or i will start crying#my intelligence has always been like one of the things i have a weird complex about due to not getting an education until high school#and being barely socialized etc and it was more or less all i had going for me#and now it's like. ok i got nothing lmao#i don't even think it's covid brain damage because i felt this way before i got covid#although it definitely got worse after getting the job but i think thats a combination of not knowing what i'm doing + being treated like#garbage + sleep deprivation#my therapist who i haven't seen in months because he was stressing me out thought i was smart as hell for some reason. which was flattering#but like i said he was stressing me out. he had too good of a read on me and i can't get over my trust issues with men#“you should go to therapy about that” you might say and you would be right but. well#me
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Varian somehow taking over the kingdom in Rapunzel’s absence is still one of the funniest things to happen in TTS imo and I want to read all the fics about it
#don't mind me having a moment#or write the fics about it#specifically something in the spirit of canon#being fairly lighthearted and silly and Varian or Andrew being in disbelief about how easy it is#preferably Andrew because Varian already knows what sort of people he is up against#he doesn’t have high opinions about their security. or intelligence.#if anything he finds this takeover even easier since he has a team behind him#tangled the series#tts varian
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yesterday during the campaign, my character -fireballed the cleric (she was in the line of fire. it was a work-place danger. she failed 2 death saves but the wizard stabilized her so its fine) -got his teeth kicked out by the fighter (he was trying to persuade someone but his story got more and more farfetched as it went on and he just kept going) -got the cloak of billowing ??? as if my guy couldn't do that already -fell in a hole and got buried alive (two entirely separate events. both very much his fault)
#hes not dumb#he actually has pretty high intelligence and wisdom#he however very much so enjoys doing the dumbest shit ever#is he convinced he cant die?#does he have a death wish?#who knows!#dnd character#dnd campaign#dnd oc#dnd#dungeons and dragons#dnd5e
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hiiiii midasss
not a continuation of eldritch horror reader, but i REALLY. REALLY LIKE VERY TALL READER. A LOT.
it would be hard to hide, but imagine how fun it would be .. i mean, what’re they gonna do about it?? carry us off to jail? no, man, no. we can step on them. squish :]
and when i say tall, i’m talking like, AT LEAST 7 feet. quite possibly 10 feet tall. big guy.
i want to be able to pick someone up and throw them like a football.
-owl anon who was hearing bird chitters while writing this
i might bring a more detailed snack of eldritch horror reader later
oh em gee bird chitters guys
also if makes sense if you think about it, since they on your screen are itty bitty so
#m1d : [chats]#owl anon#sorry i’m dry btw#i just started on the sumeru quest i’ve been putting off for the new event. all i’m saying?#fuck dottore. scara deserves better. paimon has the emotional intelligence of swiss cheese. holy shit what the FUCK DOTTORE#does this count as spoilers? im being p vague i think#anyway. anyway. god. what the fuck did i just witness. emotional recoil right now what the FUCK#AND. KAZUHA? what#the cost of being a kazuha enthusiast is 📈📈#i meant emotional cost but tbh the bar of entry is already so goddamn high#fuck man what is HAPPENNING#no spoilers nobody talk to me about it i’ll cry if i think about it too much istg#GOD. FUCK. UNWELL.#and then he- and the- fUCK i am. in turmoil. what the fuck can i phone a friend#i don’t even know what to think i’m literally just 😀 rn what. wh. h. ?!?
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" you are always on about helping me," for someone whose voice usually comes in a subtle, warming tone, it has taken the turn for something more heated today as their debate, nay, argument had come to blossom as a result of long nights and dreadful projects. in the aftermath of the disagreement, kaveh will find himself in a pit of embarrassment and guilt for having stood his ground, but he couldn't accept it. he wouldn't accept it.
" to say that it's pride is only a portion of it, but i have never had to rely on anyone in my life --- i couldn't. there was simply no room for me to rely on anyone, let alone ask for it and --- that's why i can't stand by and simply allow you to help me, when you clearly do not wish me to help you in return. are we not equals ? do we not share a mutual form for respect, do you think less of me because you see yourself in a position to protect me and support me ? because i won't have you in such a position, zarina. "
it's not anger , per say , simply frustration. he is frustrated with how she puts up a mighty act of a stable, strong woman, for while she is ( archons know she is, she is so strong, and kaveh looks up to her in so many ways / had he been one for prayer, her feet would be the ones he'd find himself bowing to in seek of grace ) she remains as human as him at the end of the day. the pain and hurt he felt certainly were no strangers to her. does she not think he feels the way her face tends to drop the second he turns, or notice how her thoughts wander in the corner of his eyes when he find himself occupied by the desk ?
" let me look after you the way you look after me. let me take care of you the way you take care of me --- for it seems too long ago since anyone did the same for you. " crumbling in his stance ( is my love not enough for you ? ), the heated tone has come to falter in favor for a softer and honest one, as hands seek out to her cheeks, pleading to hold her tenderly in his grasp. " you are my life , zarina. how do you expect me to allow you to be my foundation when you refuse to accept it from me in return?"
@avaere
Their argument breaks out and nothing feels real for the first second. They’ve never argued like this before, it’s never come to this. It’s unusual for the architect to look at her like this and speak to her like this. It confuses her, it makes her wonder, and it makes her question exactly what brought this out. And the more words leave Kaveh’s mouth, the more confused and puzzled she becomes. It doesn’t make sense. It simply doesn’t make sense to her. Is he… not happy? Is he upset that she offers her support? Is he upset that she wants to keep him safe? It doesn’t seem logical nor does it seem like something he should be so frustrated over. The questions circle in her head and Zarina tries to search for an answer, but instead she’s met with a wall. She slams into it mentally as Kaveh keeps talking.
—That's why I can't stand by and simply allow you to help me, when you clearly do not wish me to help you in return. Are we not equals?—
“We are…” Sokolova whispers to his question, still finding herself at a loss for words simply because she cannot fathom the reasoning for his upsetness, frustration, and fiery anger. It makes no sense for him to be hurt in her mind.
—Do we not share a mutual form for respect, do you think less of me because you see yourself in a position to protect me and support me?—
What are you talking about? Zarina asks internally, eyes empty and hollow at those words. Suddenly, his words echo in her head and she can’t find the will in herself to really suppress them. To her, everything he says right now simply doesn’t fit in her understanding. Is she not supposed to help him? Is this not proof of her love? Is this not enough for him to understand how much he means to her? Is this now what love is supposed to be about?
Finally, Zarina isn’t weak to keep those she loves unprotected. She gained everything she needed to keep these important people safe. She has power, she has influence, she has money, she has it all. She has information on each and every important person in almost all of Teyvat. She has customers and clients who are of noble birth and who would beg for her to take a look at their cases. She has it all to ensure those she loves have a comfortable life.
Because she, a woman who lacks any humanity behind her void gaze, can only feel human while being with them. They keep her a person. They keep her away from the numbness, void and hollowness. They keep her away from losing the joys and colors. They are her colors. Kaveh is her Sun and the person she wants to keep happy the most.
But…
—Because I won't have you in such a position, Zarina.—
…I’m strong enough to be in that position, am I not? Why don’t you just let me do it?
She isn't weak. She isn’t weak anymore to have others fuss over her. She doesn’t have anyone to worry over her and try to keep her from harm’s way. Now she can take care of herself, she can protect others like she always wanted. There won’t be laughs of men cruelly kicking her and calling her a little princess, there won’t be Victor hurt while trying to protect her, there won’t be Aleksey who they fret over as her parents are gone, and there won’t be any other people they’d be indebted to who can use them for their own ridiculous schemes.
No, she’s climbing to the top and it means she won’t have anyone look at her or her family the wrong way. She can tear apart anyone who dares to mistreat her or her family. She has everything to keep herself occupied, interested, away from the deafening silence and frigidness.
Ah, but that’s not it. That’s not what Kaveh says and that’s where the dissonance happens. Her past clashes against her present.
Why do you look at me like Victor did? I’m stronger now. I can protect you. I won’t be hurt anymore. There’s no need to worry, no need to try and protect me, I’m fine. I’m…
—Let me take care of you the way you take care of me --- for it seems too long ago since anyone did the same for you.—
His tone crumbles and she can see him reaching out. After all, she had no second to input any of her words into this conversation. His stream of words hit her a bit harder than she’d ever expected. It makes her confused, all too confused and lost.
This means that she hasn't been successful or what does it mean? It makes her think of Victor who’s been trying to take care of her when she was rescued. It makes her think of how when she came to Sumeru, she was looked down on by Scholars and those who were against Snezhnaya. Now they love or hate her, seeking her out despite pride and prejudice because they know she’s stronger. Isn’t it fun to see those people crawl to her?
It makes her think of her selfishness, her indulgence, her sick satisfaction with reaching the top and watching people who underestimated her crumble before her feet. But then it all dissipates, she’s grown bored and sought out more. Like a ravenous beast in the body of a beauty. All hedonistic indulgences fade with time aside from sex and planning. The long-standing plans hold her interest for a little while longer until she’s left disappointed or satisfied for a medium period of time. It all fades, but not the warmth she feels when she’s with those she loves. Not with Victor, Aleksey, Kaveh… Not with them. Not with him.
Oh, but Kaveh reaching out to her both emotionally and physically almost makes her feel fear. Almost, if not for her control over the internal state. It’s a titanium hold, but when his hands touch her cheeks, Sokolova feels something inside start to crack. The whispers in her mind say over and over again how he’d find her revolting, tyrannical, and cruel. He doesn’t know how little care for the world and its riches she has.
She’s always lived selfishly, so giving to her loved ones feels like what she can do. After acquiring everything because her selfish self wanted to see how far she’d be able to reach, this development seems to be… baffling.
His touch and his last words bring her out of that stupor. Still, confused and puzzled over these confessions within the argument, she feels at a loss. Emotions aren’t her strongest forte. Nay, genuine emotions aren’t her strongest forte. Zarina knows how to use them, manipulate them, and twirls them for her own benefit, but right now? It’s not about manipulation and malice. It’s not about shadows and darkness. It’s not about survival. It’s about… love, trust, and communication.
Everything she wanted to protect since childhood yet never surrounded herself with until return home or when Kaveh was by her side.
“What do you mean you don’t help me with anything?” She suddenly asks, her voice coming out genuinely puzzled but her eyes… Her eyes are bleak and cloudy, no, they’re hollow and empty when she begins. His hands against her cheeks feel so hot, her own body feels so cold. Is it because of her vision or is it because she remembered everything from that past? She doesn’t understand him, or does he not get the amount of things he does for her without knowing? “You always do. You’re the only one here who does.”
No one in Sumeru matters. No one in several regions matters aside from Snezhnaya where her brothers stay. Kaveh doesn’t know. He doesn’t know the ‘survival of the fittest’ rule she lives by, rules by, orders by.
Zarina brings her left hand up, touching his hand but she doesn’t yet grasp it. Her fingertips grave over the fabric covering his wrist. She worries that if she grasps it, she’ll break it. Zarina recalls her first hunt in the snowy plains of Snezhnaya. She doesn’t want to break him.
“You make the nightmares go away. You make me feel safer than I’ve ever felt since…” The agonizing pain, the loud screams, the laughter of those who had control. “...since I was hurt,” Sokolova looks away for a moment, her words feel like they’re spilling out as if in desperation to get him to hear, to understand, to give him enough to have an idea but not dive into details (not yet). “You indulge me, you give me your time. There’s no silence, no hollowness, no void. You make me feel…”
Clarity returns to her golden eyes. The silverette takes a second to breathe, finally letting her fingers wrap around his wrist (tenderly, carefully). Her shoulders drop, her expression is one of light exhaustion and still flickers of bewilderment.
“You make me feel human.”
It must be so strange to hear, isn’t it? To feel human. Isn’t she almost the most beloved in all Sumeru for her scholarly achievements, for her charismatic nature, for her connections and for her being the strongest candidate for the Amurta Sage? And yet, Zarina knows better than anyone that those achievements are not done for the sake of gratitude or betterment of the world. It’s selfish, it’s ambitious, it’s all out of boredom and pettiness.
“You never ask for anything. I have power, I have money, I have connections, I have it all, but you never ask for anything,” she starts off. “You are my equal, if you were not…” She lets out a soft chuckle, but it’s sharp and cold. “...I wouldn’t fall for you, love you, treasure you, want to give you as much as I can. If you were not my equal, you’d be lost in the sea of faces I meet.”
Golden eyes return to look at him, but she doesn’t smile nor show any emotion. If anything, she’s stone cold, but not guarded. She doesn’t hide, but there’s no bright light in her gaze and in her behavior.
“Do you… really think that I’ve reached all of what I have today through honored and honest work, Kaveh?” She gives his hand a gentle squeeze, but her golden eyes are growing colder the more she thinks about what she’s done… and how she feels no guilt or remorse or regret over everything. The people’s screams, the Abyssals’ pleas for mercy, the blood, the merciless ends, the survival. “Do you really think that I don’t see you as my equal? If I didn’t care about you or saw you as my equal, you would’ve never even gotten a glimpse of who I am. Like everyone else in Teyvat.”
A hard hitting sentence, isn’t it? Especially said with that razor-sharp gaze and a voice that got deeper as if she growled it out. But instead of showing the same cold-hearted ferocity, she presses her lips together and looks away from him as if ashamed. It’s not that she’s ashamed of who she is, but she is unsure of how much more she can say.
“I… don’t know how to let others care for me,” she admits. “I don’t know how to stop protecting who I care about. And I don’t think… You’ll look at me the same if you learned the things I have to do to survive…” But also because when you’re not here, the boredom and silence come back in full force and I return to those frigid days. “What if the person you love is only kind to you, Kaveh? Will you hate me for it?”
There’s a glimpse of cracks, of a weight no one ever expects someone to carry. But she doesn’t mind that. If it means she’s indulged and her family is protected, it means nothing. Is she really human when she does not feel any remorse for all the things she’s done? Perhaps, the only remorse and sadness comes when it comes to Kaveh. What if he fell in love with a phantom? What if her sharper and crueler sides will scare him away? There’s no fixing that. It’s simply who she is.
“I don’t understand you.” Her lips are pressed together in frustration. “I don’t understand what you mean by taking care of me more than you already do. I don’t understand what you want from me right now. All these riches, all these connections, all of what I have… They are nothing compared to what you’ve given me. You taught me that I can love, I can experience love, I can feel it.” She brings her other hand up to touch his, but then pries his hands away from her face to hold them instead. “And yes, it doesn’t make the world better and it doesn’t make colors seem brighter, but it settles me down. It makes me… think that a normal life isn’t out of the question for me.”
Then, Zarina laughs. But it’s hollow and bitter and feels like shattering.
“To accept your help, I must give up control… of everything I am. And if I do,” she lets out a soft exhale. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick myself up if you reject me.”
Finally, she smiles but that smile is soft and careful. Not sharp, not hollow, not cold. It’s more familiar to him. It’s more genuine, it’s as genuine as she can muster when her mind remembers everything she does behind his back to remain on top. She cannot simply end everything she rules over, it’s already too late. Too many people want her head, too many people rely on her, too many people have their eyes on her, too many people wait for her word like their only prayer.
“You are my lifeline, Kaveh. You already give me so much, I want to…” She gives his hands a squeeze, gaining up courage to say the next words. He’s more important to her than everything she’s acquired. She’s lived her life selfishly already. “But alright. I don’t yet understand, and that’s why… Can you teach me… how to let you care for me in a way you meant?” Without this iron control over everything. As she holds his hands in her own, she bends down to press her forehead against his knuckles. A beast offering its leash to another, she hopes he won’t turn away the more she opens up. “But please, I’m begging you, give me time to tell you everything. My life belongs to you, you are my heart. I still don’t understand, I probably will struggle, but be my guide here. So please,” she straightens up and gives him another small smile. She’s trying. It’s obvious. She’s trying against everything she’s been taught by life, by experience, by struggle and torturous existence. But for him? She’s trying. It’s tense, but she’s trying. “Be a patient teacher with me. I’ve never… been protected… and I haven’t been cared for since my childhood.”
#idk how fucking long this is#but wow kaveh made her try#because she treasures him the most#and thats why she will TRY#she feels like if she doesnt she'll lose him#and she doesnt waant to#but also feels like she'll lose him if he learns like a third of her life/her truth#so in her eyes it's a lose/lose situation but she'd regret not to letting him hear and learn rather than reject his attempt#she still wants to bask in his warmth and properly prepare herself if he does reject her at the end#like she's ... she thinks he's so bright and so intelligent and so fucking perfect#but she knows (logically) that she's one of THE worst people to live in teyvat. factually.#not from self-hatred. but from comparing herself to those who live.#but she's still confused. she doesn't get what he means. so shes asking him to teach her what he means#and let her... learn. and see if it's possible. to let go.#kaveh has a VERY high possibility of actually reversing the whole story quest from happening in genshin tbqh#and i am geting so emotional over it#like it can go so right but it can also go so fucking wrong#and im screaming#❄ ― IN CHARACTER. ╱ you breathe by the sun,i breathe by the moon.#avaere#﹙kaveh | avaere﹚ ♥ | ― i'll enter the shadows to protect your light. ❞
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I really want more non-villain male characters that rank really high in emotional intelligence and use it to their advantage. I want men that know the ins and outs of how people work and tailor themselves and how they act to get the desired reactions and results out of them. I want men that can turn angels out of demons and make even the bitchiest of Karens worship the ground they walk on. But I don't want them to do these things to achieve lofty goals. I just want them to act this way because that's just how they naturally are.
#story ideas#would i say that a man like this is manipulative?#not necessarily#if a person shows a high emotional and interpersonal intelligence and acts upon their knowledge...#is that manipulation?#is it manipulation to know how to speak and act to make people like you?#no#my brother is like this and it's so fascinating to watch#he can say the most offensive things and everyone will still love him#once he asked someone if he could hold a party at THEIR place on the SAME day of his asking#AND THEY SAID YES#he one time was razzing on this person's recently deceased grandfather at the person's house with their parents present#aka he did this in front of the person and his mother who was the grandfather's daughter#and they just laughed along unoffended#HOW DOES ONE DO THAT? IT'S SO FASCINATING#my brother is so emotionally intelligent#he knows very well how good he is with people and has a big head over it haha#but i would never call him manipulative because he's being genuinely himself#he doesn't twist his words or use people#you get what i mean? he's a genuinely likeable guy despite being an ass#i'd definitely love to model a character after him one day haha
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Predator and Prey (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#Questionably SFW#I have an instrumental I always put on when I want to think about Weird ZEX Vibes haha#I love when he's goofy and salacious and silly and fun and harmless(?) - But#He's still a VUX Admiral he has the potential to be very dangerous#It's also very sad that he was forced to lead a life that was so opposite to his desires - but that doesn't erase his history#Interesting complexity#He has the potential to still do a lot of harm to humanity!#I think it's especially interesting in the Pirate Fic hehe - but his doubts could lead to him dooming those he covets#He's very intelligent so he knows how and when to be tempered but he's also very biased and prideful#His decisions come from logic but aren't always based in the biggest big picture - he still wants to his own ends hehe ♪#Basically I just like him very much ♥ He's a complex character with a lot of potential in any direction#And I don't mean that in a derogatory way like Oh look at his Wasted potential - just that he's a coiled spring! A held-high object!#Potential in a literal sense hehe#Him interacting with the Captain while being a such a big web of history and desire and flaws is wonderful ♪#How far is too far? And will he know it before it's upon him? It's fun to think about ♥
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I took my octopus plushie (he still needs a name) with his lil frown to my husband to ask for a hug. Mainly because I didn’t feel like speaking. After said hug, I flipped him to his happy face.
Husband, smiling: “Is this how you’re going to communicate now?”
Me: nods
It IS effective. I may be intelligent and verbal and “high-masking” and could verbalize what I need, but communication tools including lil emotion plushies are still so helpful when I just don’t want to put forth effort of real words.
#personal#he accepts this#ofc he has to or like we wouldn’t be together#but it’s cute watching him think I’m cute even when I just can’t be assed to speak#and it’s good overall. don’t want to be apart from this guy.#I’ve only had this octopus for maybe a week? I can’t remember now#anyway I am taking recommendations to names#also I separated out intelligent and verbal and high masking because they are all separate#you can be nonverbal and not be able to mask and still be intelligent#and we all know some very verbal NTs who are not intelligent at all
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i block people for very minor reasons simply because i want to curate my space and not because i have personal beef with everyone i block BUT. i did just block someone who had a bad take on jgy
#“hes a narcissist who has only ever cared about himself”#NO#he is an intelligent hardworking person harassed and oppressed for the circumstances of his birth#who only ever wanted to be SAFE#but unfortunately in their society it doesnt matter how high he rises or how much power he obtains#it will never be enough#and he lost himself in the sunk cost fallacy#he was already in too deep to back out#he had to let it snowball. he couldnt trust anyone to help him#EVEN THOUGH WE AS THE AUDIENCE KNOW NMJ AND LXC WOULD HAVE#fuck even wwx or jc wouldve#jyl wouldve!!!!
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