#thereby making her own power a power only in reaction

[allsortzofcrap]

i feel like for the rest of my life i will be walking around totally normal and then periodically, i will be absolutely brained with a metaphorical anvil falling off the side of a building that represents the absolute bafflement i have towards modern adaptations of sherlock holmes and their treatment of irene adler. bbc's most recent adaptation in particular.

im so sorry. please repeat. she was stupid u say??? and i'm sorry, IN LOVE with him u say??????

i'm a feminist so i think women are capable of being in love and also of being stupid. they can do anything they put their minds to ofc ❤️. but this is too far even for me.

it's just that i can't understand why you would choose to write a narrative that is more mysoginistic than the source material when the source material was written in 1891.

was it intentional? did they somehow not pick up on the implications? was it random?

i can't fathom it. it keeps me awake.

[lyssaterald]

Take Flight, Part ?: The Confession

In which Lyssa finally confessed one of her secrets and received a different reaction than what she had been expecting.

Lucifer x MC smut

Content Warning: General spoilers for the main story. Minors and ageless accounts do not interact! Named character, and slight mentions of character’s past and history which are expanded on as they are important to this chapter. Weirdly, I switch between past and present tense. Sorry, not sorry. Unbeta read.

------

I don't know how many times we've been together by this time, but it's the first time I notice my fingers run across the straight, jagged scars between his wing sets. He's mid-thrust, his mouth occupying mine as I grunt and moan into the walls of his rooms and it isn't the best time to ask. Still, my hands turn tender as I caress those scars and map the shape of their knots and valleys to my fingers. Somewhere, he responds to the tenderness of my touches and it turns into an evening of mapping out the scars on my own body...again.

Luci is always so gentle of the scars and lines that my body possesses, already knowing that a normal human wouldn't have held so many. My body is battle hardened and my instincts well trained. His is, too, though he lacks the many scars usual warriors I knew carried. Even if he was physically beautiful and attractive, he was also beautiful and deadly in ways no one but warriors could understand. His movements, his center of gravity, everything spoke of training and battle experience.

I'm tracing the scars again, gently, post-coitus and he is smiling into my shoulder already half asleep. "Your body tells the story of your life," he chuckles at me. "You have fought hard to keep what you want and love." His own fingers are gently tracing the knotted scar on my arm.

"It was a gift from someone that hated me and my family for being different," I murmur, remembering the hard fight that ended in a noble's death and a power struggle that upset Dame's court. "I was targeted because they thought I would be easy." My mouth flattened unhappily. "I wasn't."

Luci chuckled again. "Of course you weren't," he says like it's the most natural thing in the world and it warms my heart. "They were fools to look at your gender or size or blood and make that assumption. You are a very powerful and sneaky woman."

I am ready to roll on top of him again and go another round, because no one else-no one-had ever bothered to acknowledge that sneaky was useful to survival, that it was a skill. Even my older siblings who had purer blood and, thereby strength and magic, hadn't said anything like that even once.

Luci lets me have my way with him, stroking and squeezing and desperate, until we reach our climaxes. He just holds me, then, his fingers gently tracing the scattered scars of my back and the smooth skin between them. He's soothing a pain I had never been able to acknowledge, never wanted to touch. Desperately, I want to cocoon us in my wings but they don't know yet that I am more than human and only Diavolo and Lucifer have seen my wings once. I shiver at the remembered pain.

"What are you thinking about, my heart?" He asks, lips curving in a tiny smile.

My heart flutters a little every time he calls me that and I give him a shy smile in return. "That you're beautiful in more ways than appearance and that I'm glad you are the one I love." His blush is light and I trace my fingers gently over his cheek, wishing for claws.

The reason I had kept my secret was because they had kidnapped me from the heart of my Dame's stronghold and the seat of power for our species. Months spent with them had developed friendships and deepened into pacts with some of them, a relationship with Luci, and something developing with Diavolo. I had patiently waited for the other side of the coin to flip up and reveal the second part of their plan, but it doesn't seem like there is one.

Months without flying or stretching my wings had left an irritable itch under my skin that was only briefly settled by sex with Luci. And he could fly, had been out flying during my time here and it was hard not to be jealous of the freedom to do so.

But...

He'd had three sets of wings once. Likely, the missing set had been the price from war and Satan's creation. Pushing myself up on his chest, I settle on his hips and study him. His hands slip to my hips and he watches me curiously before his dark eyes switch to three distinct scars on my hip and across my stomach.

"These almost look like claw marks from a demon," he murmurs absently. Then, his focus is on my face again. "You're in a thoughtful mood tonight, Lys. Anything in particular on your mind?"

"You," I tease.

His laugh is deep and pure. "Well, yes," he returns, giving a roll of his hips. His half hard cock teases my G-spot and sends a wave of pleasure and soreness through me with a sharp gasp. He splays his claws against my hips and covers the scars he was just looking at. His look softens again, probably seeing lingering unease and nerves. "But that's not the topic that has you looking at me with questions. You may ask me anything, but I may not be able to answer."

"It's more a comparison than anything," I say hesitantly and one eyebrow lifts. "You've given tremendously of yourself to protect your family, right down to a set of wings and your very identity."

One of his claws trail up my side as he considers my words. "You've seen something of yourself in my history?

I twine my fingers with his wandering hand. "Do you love me because of my humanity or in spite of it?"

Lucifer frowns at the way that I wouldn't look at him, at the way that I looked away from him. His other claw came up to grasp my chin and bring my eyes to his. Unease filled me as I looked into his dark eyes, but I didn't look away. It was my own discomfort making me squirm in his lap and I had no right to make him doubt our relationship, not that I was trying to.

"What's troubling you tonight and causing you to doubt us?" he asked softly. Then, more hesitantly, he added, "Or is it that Lord Diavolo is actively pursuing you?"

My surprise that he wasn't angry with Diavolo or I cut through my unease and I stared at him for a long second. "I...was going to ask you about his sudden shift in affections, but you already knew."

His claws slid back to my hips and begin to rub comforting circles into my skin. "It is not uncommon for demons to take multiple partners and, unlike my brothers, he asked permission from me to continue courting you."

I sorted the emotions I was going through and acknowledged that I might be more than a little peeved that they had planned this without involving me. But...I was also somewhat relieved because I'd had no idea how to broach the subject with Lucifer. "Alright, we'll talk about that a little later, but I'm not doubting us or making plans to leave you. I just...want to know what you suspect of my heritage and bloodlines."

It was Lucifer's turn to look a little surprised and then he shrugged. "I had not given it much thought, but if I were to guess I would say that you are definitely human though you also appear to be something else. I have no idea what species or subspecies are part of the human world these days so I cannot comfortably make that guess. Were those wings Lord Diavolo and I assisted you with yours or part of Mammon's back fired plan with those witches?"

In answer, I coaxed my more draconic features to unVeil and show him. The wings unfurled from my back and stretched, fingers sharpened to claws, teeth became fangs, pupils shifted to a cats eye, and scales formed beneath one eye and followed a path down my collar bone, stomach, and disappeared along my thigh where we were still joined.

"I am three parts human and one part dragon," I told him and blushed under the scrutiny he was looking me over with. His eyes were slowly bleeding from black to the shade of crimson I associated with lust.

With a quick movement, Lucifer had us rolled over and reversed our positions. He was careful to make sure our wings didn't tangle around us as he touched the scales under my eye and traced them to the valley between my breasts. He eyes flickered up to mine and a smile was tugging at his lips.

"Beautiful," he murmured to me and I clasped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder. "What is it, sweetheart?"

I hadn't known I was shaking until he asked that question. "Just...relief, I suppose. I'm just relieved you don't hate me for keeping this from you and everyone else."

His claws in my hair gently coaxed me into looking at him. "I could never hate you for protecting yourself. You had no way of knowing if you could trust us at the beginning and I doubt any of my brothers will hold this against you. Lord Diavolo certainly won't." His eyes took on a mischievous look as he contemplated my body. "In fact, there are many things that I can think of doing with this new form of yours."

With that, he kissed me and it became a long night in which he worked all of the worries out of my body and left me bonelessly exhausted. Sleep has never come easier than after he was satisfied and I had all but screamed my voice hoarse.

--------

Lucifer waited until she had fallen asleep before retrieved his D.D.D from the nightstand. As carefully as he could, he angles the camera to snap a photo of Lyssa's sleeping face, making sure to capture the way her wings draped across his and the scales that shown under her eye. Satisfied, he tucked the phone away and brushed a lock of her hair away from her face. For now, this was something that he would keep from Diavolo and allow her to come clean with him in her own time.

[jakey-beefed-it]

A few scattered, minimally spoilery FF14 thoughts as I draw near the end of Heavensward’s main story

I have come around entirely on Estinien (his one example of weirdly toxic masculinity directed at my sweet baby boy Alphinaud seems to have been an aberration of writing) and Aymeric (who is deep down an idealist despite being the Cesare Borgia chief of police). I was always on board for Count Edmont de Fortemps despite his looking suspiciously like Dracula and being a Count, because he was our narrator for this expansion and I’m genre savvy enough to figure that meant he’d be on our side unless he had a MUCH bigger role in which case he might have betrayed me for that punch. But yeah- his reaction to Major Character Death was heart-wrenching. 

Ysayle! Coming through as the most compelling character in the expansion full of compelling characters tbh. Her motivations, development, and the shit she ends up having to come to terms with, absolutely grabbed me. And then working with the team because no, she meant it, her whole entire goal was ending the fucking war. To the point of talking down her own people and thereby foiling the schemes of evil men in power, forcing them to change tack. 

I also really love the non-’heretic’ revolutionaries, and having done the Machinist quests alongside the main story really sells them that much more and I want! To shoot! Temple knights and asshole nobles! Already!

Hilda probably isn’t going to matter very much to the game moving forward which is too bad because in her like 5 minutes of scene she grabbed more attention than a lot of characters. Varian definitely has a crush on her, too.

“Hi, I see you like firearms and revolutionary direct fucking action I also like those things would you like to go out sometime? How do you feel about dating a guy with adopted twin elezen genius kids? That’s not a dealbreaker for you is it because if you don’t love my adorable kids it’s a dealbreaker for me and you should know that.”

Got machinist to 60 and got an outfit that matches my starter gunbreaker outfit but has a cowboy hat, so full-mourning-for-his-Ishgardian-bro Varian can pull his cowboy hat down over his eyes when he tears up too much over every little thing.

Also it’s just extra hilarious to me to have my character running around Ishgard, dealing with nobles and knights and such, with my very fancy aristocratic son, just wearing full on frontier cowboy leathers because he’s given up on any sort of ‘civilized’ behavior and is just. Going to put a bullet in the archbishop and his knights’ hearts.

Matoya is great and I love that she’s a literal bog witch living in a cave. Her sapient frog companions being former normal-ass frogs she uplifted rather than turning people who annoyed her into frogs is very [chef’s kiss]

Her interactions with Y’shtola were also great, and did more for Y’shtola’s character than like, anything that had come before because she went from being ‘the most competent and interesting of the Scions and therefore in the story’ to being one of the least interesting characters around not through any fault of her own but because the Ishgardians all were so much better written as to become vastly more compelling and she just can’t compete on their level

The development with her eyes has the potential to be really interesting- she’s full on post-stone-burner Muad’Dib’in it, here. Damn. 

Tataru is so talented and she should make everyone a new outfit. Next time maybe she’ll even remember to make pants! Fortunately Alphinaud kept his old pants and Y’shtola apparently had some bicycle shorts kickin’ around but still. Other than the lack of pants, both very solid improvements and a credit to Tataru’s skill.

^ Only one of these people dressed themselves, can be trusted to dress themselves, and it is the cowboy. Tataru, however, can be trusted to dress anyone. Provided they brought their own pants.

[vischys]

𝐚 𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲

“Just because Dante forgives you, doesn't mean everything you have done is all gone just like that.”

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆, where Dante's coworker and 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 of a friend currently stood. Her mismatched eyes shone with distrust and animus, the latter was more familiar. He would know, having been on the receiving end of her fiercely virulent gaze once, that time high within the 𝑻𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏-𝑵𝒊-𝑮𝒓𝒖 where she aimed her firearms against him in a foolish misconception that he was responsible for her wretched father's vile acts.

“I seek not nor do I require your forgiveness,” he stated matter-of-factly, leaning against the wall with his arms holding the Yamato folded against his chest.

His nonchalance visibly bristled her, prompting the huntress to make a furious beeline toward him, though she retained enough self-preservation to not foolishly invade his personal space and risk his retaliation.

“Oh no, you're not getting away from this. I need and am going to remind you that not only did you destroy a whole city and cause the deaths of millions twice, but also exploited me and Trish by making us your demon minions to and I quote "serve a divine purpose"!?”

Ah, that's right. He did commit the latter, deliberately and gleefully, well, as gleeful as a pure demon obsessed with power could be. Ironically subjecting the two women to the very same enthrallment that Mundus had subjected him to.

At the reminder, the son of Sparda unfurled himself to look her fully in the eye, head dipped slightly in an elusive gesture compunction.

“As a 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻, I took what I instinctually deemed to be the necessary course of action given the situation then, but you are correct that it did not exculpate the gravity therein altogether.”

The huntress visibly blanched, evidently not expecting him to actually admit his mistake. A foolishness from her part, to assume that acknowledging a personal error is beyond his principle. To condemn it however was another matter. For everything he did, he did with full belief in their necessity in service to his motivation. What others condemn as a crime was a prerequisite course of action to him. It is what it is and whilst a part of him regretted that it had to be done that with such a homicidal consequence, he would not seek exoneration from his faith. A man's duty first and foremost, is to his own cause before he could commit himself to others.

“Fine, I'll give you that,” the woman said upon overcoming her surprise, attempting to regain some unrelenting quality upon her stance. “Just remember one thing: if you ever hurt him again, then I'm gonna give it my all to hunt you down and I'm not going to stop until I permanently damage you.”

His first instinctive reaction to her audacity of issuing a threat against his personage over something that by birthright and blood was his, was indignation. Yet as his eyes caught hers once more and perceived the consternation foundering beneath the fierceness that conveyed an unspoken tale of a woman who had not only seen to her own father's demise, but also watched her dear friend, suffering and gradually wasting away.

It occurred to him then, that Arkham's daughter wasn't merely a witness to their brotherly feud atop the demonic tower, but also might very well be the only soul to have known what exactly his brother had been through following his subsequent fall. The sole firsthand account of the true extent of the damage that Vergil's foolish choice had brought upon Dante. Thereby the fact that she had remained a faithful companion to his brother hence and at some point kept him afloat, had assuaged him and invoked an elusive gratitude in its wake.

“That matter is not yours to be concerned with,” he rejoined in a steely tone that betrayed not a scintilla of the remorse warring within. The woman's mismatched eyes flashed and her facial muscles contorted as she was about to interject, but he pressed on relentlessly. “For I shall personally exact the judgement before ever succumbing to the same foolishness.”

「 It went without saying that he would rather drive his blade into his own heart than ever again hurting he who makes up his existence. 」

The huntress must have discerned his bespoken vow for she rendered to him a curt nod before her bellicose comportment letting up thereafter. In the aftermath of his rencounter with the huntress's judgement, an unspoken compromise have been reached as they both acknowledged their mutual priority: Dante's happiness.

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Reacting to Other People's Theories 3/?

I found this theory on Pinterest but I think it's a screenshot of Twitter (I don't have Twitter so I don't know for sure, sorry). The source is ShivamChatak.

Theory: Sylvie's nexus event was that she had a good heart.

So the theory is that Sylvie was a good person at heart from a very early age. And in the Sacred Timeline, Loki is meant to be a villain, so if she has a good heart, she can't be a villain and so she's not meant to be on the timeline.

The evidence OP pulls for this is that when she was taken in, she was playing Save Asgard with her toys. Also, similar to Loki, in the TVA she witnessed another variant being pruned. However, unlike Loki, she told the agents that were arresting her to help the variant because she didn't know what was happening but could see that the person was in pain. (Juxtaposed to Loki's reaction to a similar situation where he was more like, 'What the hell was that? You better not try to do that to me.' Rather than try to help the other variant.)

OP also adds that she already knew she was adopted. I'm not sure if that really factors in to her nexus event personally.

I agree with the main part of the theory, though. I think it makes a lot of sense. Loki is supposed to be a villain on the timeline, or at the very least is supposed be a villain for most of his life on the timeline. The arc of his story is supposed to be that his one heroic act is to essentially be the distraction to keep Thor alive by trying to keep Thanos from getting the Tesseract. And while Thanos does end up with the Tesseract, he leaves the ship without killing Thor directly, thereby allowing Thor to live to help destroy him eventually. And in order to get to this point, Loki has to be evil, apparently, in this arc. (I don't know if that's necessarily the only way we can get to that point, but I guess that's how the TVA or Kang or whoever sees it.)

And so, if a Loki is seemingly not going to do that, and is not sowing the seeds of their own destruction at such a young age-- even the age Sylvie was when she was arrested-- and starting to build that resentment for Thor at that point, then essentially, they need to be pruned and the timeline needs to be reset. Because that Loki is not going to become evil, in the eyes of the TVA.

Sylvie herself doesn't come to the conclusion that this is her nexus event because this moment changes her profoundly on a developmental level. She has to make questionable moral decisions for the rest of her life because she's homeless and on the run and a fugitive from a group that (for all she knows at this point) is going to kill her as soon as arrest her. She has to make decisions she likely wouldn't have made if she didn't have to survive all alone while trying to hide from a very powerful group of people who can be anywhere, anytime and who want to kill her. I don't think, from very shortly after escaping the TVA right up to now, she would agree that she is a good person, because of the decisions she has been forced to make.

The other thing that convinces me of this theory is that every other nexus event we see is a conscious choice made by someone. Kid Loki consciously decides to kill Thor. He may not have known this was going against his timeline, but he chooses to kill him. (Even if, as per my theory, his decision was more to get Thor killed for the safety of their people.) Our Loki makes a conscious choice to grab the Tesseract and run, when he sees that the second Tony Stark in the room drops it. (I can't remember what Boastful Loki does.) Classic Loki makes a conscious choice to leave the planet he's hiding out on to go see Thor, despite the fact that he had faked his death, come to the conclusion that he only brings pain and suffering wherever he goes, and so therefore risked bringing pain and suffering to Thor once again by going to see him, but still makes a conscious choice to do that. Croki makes a conscious choice to "eat the wrong neighbor's cat." He may not have realized it was the wrong neighbor's cat, but he makes a conscious choice to eat a neighbor's cat!

Sylvie didn't choose to be born. Sylvie wasn't in the womb like "All right, give me a vagina." (Because my trans girl Sylvie probably would have been like "Please. So I don't have to do any magic to give myself this shit. Or lie to some surgeon so I can get some bottom surgery at some point.") So whether Sylvie is cis or trans, she did not make a conscious choice to be a girl. (TERFS piss off. Being trans is not a choice.) (Unless you ARE trans and feel like you chose to be trans, that's your opinion and you're valid and correct for you. Most trans people, including me, don't think they chose to be trans, which is why I'm using this statement, but if you disagree for yourself, that's fine.)

So her nexus event cannot be that she was born a woman (whether she was born a cis woman or a trans woman). She didn't choose to be born and she didn't choose to be a woman.

(However, and this doesn't really have to do with this theory which is why it's in parentheses. It's also unlikely, given the way the writers chose to word her explanation of what happened to her, but I don't care. Anyway. My girl is smart. Maybe this would come after she meets the other variants or better understands how the TVA works, but I feel like eventually she'd work out that nexus events are conscious choices. And she's like, 'Yeah, I'm trans, I wasn't assigned female at birth, but I still didn't choose this. I was born a woman, just no one knew that when I was born.' But like I said, given who she's had to grow up to be, I don't think it would ever occur to her that her nexus event was having a good heart (which I know doesn't sound like a conscious choice, but I'm thinking that as a child she showed she had a good heart by choosing to be kind or choosing to do right by others, which are choices). But it might occur to her that she did choose something related to her gender. Something that happened very shortly before the TVA came to get her. Something it seems (to her observation) none of the other Loki variants have ever done (thanks, you shitty, shitty writers). She chose to come out. Sure, maybe this doesn't seem like it should have any impact on her ability to fulfill the expectations of the timeline, but it's (to her) a clear divergence from the Story of Loki. And the TVA doesn't like changes to the story.)

[star-ocean-peahen]

...........I realize I may have dug myself into a hole with Legacy of a Millennia

so like Link's main arc should be about her learning to belong. Like, she's got so much shit under her belt and it's physically and mentally scarred her in a way no one else in her entire world can understand. She feels like she can't belong in Hyrule because of who she is (someone kidnapped and ruined by the fey). And in the story, she meets people who can relate to her, Shei and Stella. Shei has also been displaced by era and lost everything he knew, and Stella is also a creature that no one understands. So she starts to believe that she can find a place in this world where she belongs.

But..............Shei dies. And I fully admit I only did that for the sads. (And story convenience.) But killing off characters for cheap reactions and plot convenience.......is like a Marvel movie. And nobody wants to be like a Marvel movie (Im generalizing here I don't think all the MCU movies are bad just some of them).

So......when Shei dies.....it doesn't really push her further toward her goal? All it does is make her grieve and need to figure out a way without him.

And I specifically want his death to feel like it shouldn't have happened. Like it really came out of left field and smacked you in the face. The reason for this is because I wanted to pull from real life, where horrible things will just happen with no justification, and the only way to move on from that is to accept it and adapt. (I'm fully aware that in the story and world I've crafted it would make no sense for Shei to die. But I want it to happen so I'm going to figure out a way to do it goddessesdamnit)

So now I have to figure out a way in which Shei's death pushes Link further toward happiness. Fuck, that makes no sense.

uhm

okay so—what does Shei represent in this narrative?? He represents something Link has to protect, and thereby representing the greater land of Hyrule. So if he dies, it's like she failed. Which is a bad ending. Um................Stella stella stella stella stella. SHE! represents the passing of the torch and the approach of a new era. Good I can work with that. If she represents how something horrible and broken can be made into something new and whole thanks to the Power of Friendship.......................then thats good thats a GOOD THING-

So......what if......she's the one who can pick things up after Shei dies and realizes she has to fill his shoes. BUT!! FUCK!! THAT CLASHES WITH HER OTHER ARC OF LEARNING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN AND REALIZING SHE DOESN'T NEED FLESH TO BE IT!! FUCKIGN FUCKY FUCK!!!

Unless.................that arc happened in the first half of the game?? Seems a bit quick.......

fuck im completely stuck

TOO MANY ARCS!!!! TOO MANY NEEDS!!! MY MAIN CHARACTERS DON'T MEET EACH OTHERS NARRATIVE NEEDS WITH THEIR OWN!!!! THEY DON'T COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER!!!!

DO I HAVE TO REWRITE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING THING

[miopet]

As long as we are under white supremacist capitalist imperialist fascism, I dont believe it is possible for cishet white men to father anyone without (perhaps subconsciously) coming to believe and behave as if his children are his physical and intellectual property. I'll die waiting for a good example of a cishet white American father without a terrifyingly misogynistic, incestuous obsession wrt controlling and owning the body, mind, and soul of his daughter in order to make her tolerable or useful to himself/ other men.

The structure of capitalist, white male supremacist society teaches him that it is a given right (by God, or the government, or natural order) to own another human being IF: 1. they are not an "equivalent man" in performance, physicality or mentality, and 2. they bear his genealogy. Anyone who fails to uphold (and thereby threatens) the rigid structural institution of white masculinity by performing gender correctly is deemed "inequal," including other men (LGBT, feminist, nonwhite, etc).

Additionally, the cishet white man is propagandized his entire life to believe that the Institution of Masculinity (a.k.a fascist white supremacist patriarchal society) is under attack by those who fail to uphold it. It's entirely about maintaining power over the rest of the world by enforcing the status quo of white male supremacy via the subordination and suppression of literally everyone else. We meme about it, but the unironic Sigma/Alpha/Beta Male subscribers are doing exactly this. These men are so desperate to maintain a hierarchical society that allows them to feel inherently superior to other human beings, that they have begun creating new types (genders) of Acceptable vs. Failed Men.

For a cishet white men to feel secure, he must live in a world that constantly asserts his own dominance and superiority over others. This starts in the home. The most accessible and effective method of ensuring the structure remains unchallenged for generations is to create children for the express purpose of raising (grooming) them to uphold it. Child labor laws largely prevent children from being useful to the capitalist, so all the "wasteful" non-work time in childhood can be redeemed by spending it forcing them to emulate behavior their fathers consider desirable.

The two components of shared genetics and unaccpeable gender performance justify for the cishet white father reactions of rage, violence, and abusive punishment when his children (who he considers his physical and intellectual property) defy him, and by extension defy the entire patriarchy. Sons are only useful as long as they uphold their fathers' expectations of masculinity, while daughters are only acceptable if they are subservient and repentant for not being sons.

Fathering a daughter is the ultimate failure on a man's part, because she is innately unable to uphold this institution without the severe guidance and control of a Man Who Knows Better. By being born as a non-man in body, mind, and/or spirit she has already failed. She is a woman: sinner, temptress, inferior, weak, dishonest, hysterical, innately manipulative, selfish, and lesser. Because she has failed every man that has ever existed or will ever exist by being alive, she must spend her entire life in atonement for her existence by embodying her status as property. If she dares not to live in constant servitude, repentance, and inferiority, then the responsiblity of inflicting her punishment falls to the men around her.

Fathers teach their sons by example to view any and every failed performance of masculinity or approved (non-threatening, subservient, digestible, sexually pleasing, soothing) feminity as personal attacks to their safety and right to superiority, and as opportunities to prove their worth to other men/ in order to maintain male superiority by oppression of others. Men make sure to treat their daughters worse than dogs in front of their sons, wives, mothers, families, friends, their children's friends, coworkers, strangers, cashiers, teachers, doctors, scientists, social workers, politicians, news cameras, the internet, the world. Their sons grow up treating their girlfriends, wives, mothers, and daughters the same way.

Although this perpetuation of oppression is entirely intentional, sickeningly purposeful, and incredibly blatant, I think that the individual man does not typically think even once about the level of violence that he enacts against women on a daily basis, simply within his own mind. It is more than traditional. His hatred and disdain for anyone who isn't another cishet white man is no longer conscious. It is a deep rooted belief that most men will never try to challenge because they don't feel the need or desire to do so, and the world will never demand it of them.

On the contrary, he will continually be rewarded for perpetuating patriarchal society, or ostracised and stripped of True Male superiority for chosing to associate with inferior, anti-white male genders. Anyone who asks or expects him to be cognizant of his privileges, of the way his actions affect others, or his own biases/ behavior is interpreted as directly threatening his personal and sociopolitical identities/ rights/ safety. The challenger becomes, in his mind, a personal enemy of every marginalized, misunderstood, snowflake white man.

Every single encounter with anyone, even his own children, functions as an opportunity to performatively demonstrate his worth and status as a valuable and "rare" Real Man, usually accomplished by degrading the least cishet white male-passing person around to artificially elevate the statuses of himself and his perceived equals. Everything he does becomes about proving the point of white male supremacy, teaching it as a lesson, and using it as a punishment against anyone who attempts to find another way of living and interacting with the world.

It has long been the perceived natural order of the cishet white man's world to view anyone who does not look, walk, talk and think like him or his own father as subhuman. Obviously, I am far from the first person to observe this, and I (white, tme) am not the person who suffers most because of it. However, being born to and abused by men who view the world, my mother, myself, in this extremely disturbing way, with vicious self righteousness, has defined my existence as a feminist and will do so forever.

bioessentialists get blocked

[demonslayedher]

Heyooo how are u doing?? I've had this doubt for a while so I wanna know what u think abut it. Maybe its a bit gross to ask but I'm so damn interested in demon biology, I'm too curious to know how their bodies work compared to ours. Ok so we know that demons can feel human emotions ((anger, sadness, excitement, love, fear, ...)) and that they can also feel hunger, but do demons have the same general needs as humans? Like for example when they eat do they use up all their food as energy or do they also generate waste? Could a demon get a human or another demon pregnant? And do female demons get periods? All we know is that they can't get sick, that their eyes are always damp and that they don't need to sleep ((only exception being nezuko, and also maybe enmu sleeps too if he wants since he always talks about dreams)). But anyway these are the things I'd like to know. Afaik they're never explained in the manga but I'd like to know what u think is the case with them even if its just your headcanons. Thank u if u find the time to respond and byebye!

Oh man, Anon, I have wondered about some of these so much myself and I am still clueless on a lot of them. In a totally serious way because of how it can be used for tracking and studies, Kakushi have probably been trying to answer the “do demons poop” question for centuries. You’ve already hit a lot of the points stated in canon, so I can only go with my own headcanon-ish assumptions on a lot of these. First, for digestive system analysis, I’ve done my best with that on this post with lots of canon examples. As for the poop question, since the more powerful demons have displayed that they don’t necessarily need to eat by having food enter their digestive track by the traditional opening, I assume it doesn’t need to leave traditionally either, if at all. Plus, Nezuko needs energy, but bypasses a digestive system altogether. However, we can still assume demons have a lot of the same parts even if they are wired in different ways; Muzan still benefits from things like brains and hearts and Akaza is still full of muscle. Demons at least have stomachs, for they will vomit if they try to consume human food. Although Tamayo taught herself to consume black tea after dedicated efforts to train her system to survive on corpses and animals and then later on very small amounts of fresh human blood, the demons typically only consume human flesh, and they require it in order to power their abilities to regenerate (including regenerating from a human body into a demon body, as the transformation takes a lot of energy). We know from the fanbooks that demons could also absorb each other, as Kokushibo did to demons who challenged him and failed. That makes me wonder if their entire digestive system is like one very powerful series of small intestines, sucking all the use out of any flesh consumed, and leaving nothing behind. As I touched on in the aforementioned analysis, it may also be that less powerful demons only eat the parts of humans that are easy for them to fully digest. As for sleep (as well as more analysis about the necessity to eat humans), I went into that more here. As a quick review, it doesn’t seem demons need sleep (given Rui’s reaction to Nezuko conking out), but it’s not unheard of for them to get knocked out, like the Temple Demon after his body’s fall, and Nezuko falling unconscious after Giyuu gave her a chop to the neck, which subdued her enough for him to get a muzzle on her. Nezuko probably initially fell asleep upon reaching the safety of Urokodaki’s place because she was beyond exhausted due to lack of sustenance, so other starved demons probably would pass out too. As for demon fertility, this is totally headcanon territory for lack of the topic coming up, but my thought is that they aren’t fertile. First and most importantly, because Muzan prohibits any demons from sharing their blood/genes (and thereby, influence) with anyone or making any other demons without his permission. Second, because there’s no physical necessity to ensure the survival of the species that way. Third, because I just prefer them not having this ability, personally. If people want to play with that idea, I can think of no canon reason against it. Due to circumstantial evidence I headcanon that Muzan’s “daughter” in Asakusa is only his step-daughter, but I see the fanwork appeal in her being his real offspring and I won’t stand in the way of people who want to work with that premise, it’s just not my thing. For Muzan to have played the role of a convincing husband, though, I assume the parts function similarly to humans. Even if female demons were fertile, given their regenerative abilities I see no reason for them to have to shed the lining of the uterus. I have indeed wondered if Nezuko didn’t get her first period until well after recovering back into being a human, though she did have a 3-centimeter growth spurt over the course of her big sleep.

I also am very curious about Nezuko’s recovery back into being a human, as she didn’t have the advantage of demon cells finding quick new ways to adjust, she was just one very tired human. And when did she get her appetite back? Was it quick and ravenous, or did it feel strange to eat again and she had to start with light and simple foods? Does she stub her toe and find herself wondering a minute later why it still hurts? Does she ever get stuck, having totally misjudged what she could fit into?

[aromanticbenzene]

If you still need prompts, here's another! Green helping Yellow practice her powers (maybe Golduck or one of his psychic Pokemon can help) or helping her train Chuchu (who showed interest in the gym). If you can't tell, I'm a sucker for Green being a mentor/brother/parental figure.

Not to sound crazy, but I fucking love Green being a mentor figure. Unfortunately, I am terrible at writing anything action-y, training related, so... I tried my best.

Ever since he took the Gym Leader position, Green could admit he had mentored a lot of younger trainers in passing, but training someone to beat him specifically was a first. However, Yellow wasn’t in it for the badge—she wanted to make Chuchu, her ridiculously-named Pikachu, happy. And what would make Chuchu happy was defeating just one of his pokémon, thereby earning his badge. Green wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve being targeted, or if Red’s Pika had somehow influenced Chuchu. 

Either way, he wasn’t going to refuse a chance to train Yellow. She had a lot of potential, but getting her to actually use it when they weren’t in some life-threatening situation was near impossible. 

“For starters, don’t spend the entire match narrating what’s happening instead of giving actual commands,” Green told her after rewatching her latest attempt. Chuchu didn’t stand a chance. 

“I know... it was all so fast and by the time I realized what happened, your pokémon was already attacking again.” Yellow looked down at her Pikachu in her hands, who squeaked something Green didn’t understand, but it seemed to make her comforted. 

“I understand that, but I don’t remember your reaction time being this bad.” Maybe the years of inaction made her regress, though she had only shown improvement during the battle with Sird that took place in the forest. 

“It’s not... I hope. I’m sure it’s because these are official battles, and there aren’t any real stakes. I know Chuchu isn’t in danger,” Yellow said, and Chuchu squeaked again. “Chuchu also feels that, during the battle with Team Rocket, she didn’t contribute anything. She was out of commission when I began to use my powers... and when we fought that Kyogre, she didn’t think her power was much compared to Pika, or even Pibu. As though the outcome would have been the same without her.” 

“So she wants to know she can stand on her own, is that it?” Yellow nodded. He could relate to the feeling, though it was a bit weird when that feeling belonged to a pokémon. At least this wouldn’t be the first time he trained a Pikachu. “Alright, I’ll help. It can’t be worse than your Caterpie.” 

And for once in his life, such a statement did not tempt fate. Then again, there were few pokémon weaker than freshly-caught Caterpie. 

Though at times, he felt that Chuchu was more of a trainer than Yellow. 

“For the last time, steel can’t be poisoned so I promise neither of our pokémon will take damage,” he said, almost sighing again. “If you’re not confident, your Pikachu won’t hit as effectively as it should.”

“Okay... so it’s Iron Tail with Toxic? At the same time?” Chuchu made an affirmative noise. It seemed as though the creature didn’t want to win so much as it wanted to win with Yellow. After several tries and one evident success, Green thought a break would be a good idea. And Chuchu and Yellow cheered so loudly one would think they’d already gotten the badge. 

“Thank you Green, we couldn’t have gotten this far without all your help!” Yellow said to him once they were back in his office. “This was really important to Chuchu, and I wanted to help her be happier with herself.” 

“I think she is quite content already,” he replied, glancing at the Pikachu face first in a feeding bowl. 

Yellow laughed, and he pretended he wasn’t trying to be funny. “You know, Blue told me something about you.” 

Green wanted to say something akin to that ‘something’ being false or exaggerated, but Yellow was probably the only friend he would hold his tongue for. “And that was?” 

“She said you were proud of me and everything I learned from you, even though you would only say it when I couldn’t hear it.” And so Blue felt it her obligation to relay the message, he finished in his head. No point denying it now. 

“Training is my specialty. I don’t see why you wouldn’t be proud of your healing abilities.” 

“This is different! You’re not only training pokémon or trainers to be stronger, it’s... different, somehow. I can’t explain it.” Yellow grew slightly frustrated, but gave up soon enough to his relief (not that he knew what she was trying to say). “I guess... I wanted to tell you I’m also proud to have trained under you. I may not care much for battling, but I am grateful for all the skills and patience you’ve shown me.” She smiled, and it was difficult to resist her infectious kindness, but he managed to turn his own smile to a small smirk.

“In that case... I’d better see those skills put to good use.“ He thought of telling her that she was his greatest student, but that could wait until after she obtained the badge. 

[ouyangzizhensdad]

Perhaps you'd like a an ask that's not discourse related? If so, then I wanted to ask you if you know what jin zixuan thought of jin guangyao?

Hi anon,

I appreciate your non-discourse-related ask 😉. Your question made me realise that the novel seems to explicitly avoid giving us any real sense of what Jin Zixuan thought of Jin Guangyao, or how he reacted to the ways other people treated JGY. It seems that JZX remained unaware at the time that Meng Yao came on his birthday--and literally got kicked out. At Phoenix Mountain, JZX stops being mentioned after JGY appears and while his mother mistreats him--he’s only brought back into the narration at the very end to scream at JYL. JZX is also absent the night that WWX goes to Jinlintai to confront the Jins about Qiongqi path and in the direct aftermath. But let’s dig for crumbs and make sense of gaps, and let’s see what we can infer from them.

We know that, originally, Jin Zixuan was the epitome of the proud Jin: “The ways of the Jin Sect were proud, and Jin Zixuan inherited every single drop of this. With his high standards, he had been unsatisfied with this engagement since a long time ago.“ We could wonder if the circumstances of JGY’s birth would have been something JZX would have judged him for. We know that he took offense to WWX’s persona, although it is not spelled out exactly what offended him specifically: “Because of this engagement, Jin Zixuan had no positive impressions of the YunmengJiang Sect, and had frowned upon Wei Wuxian’s behavior since some time ago.“ However, it’s unclear whether the circumstances of WWX’s birth influenced how he perceived his behaviour. All we know for sure is that two other Jin family members--his father and Jin Zixun--never forgot about it and brought it up. We also know that in the past, JZX felt comfortable ignoring people’s good will towards him if he felt he was motivated in his view of them, as he did with JYL in the past:

Jin-furen had brought him to Lotus Pier a couple of times. Neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng liked to play with him; only Jiang Yanli wanted to feed him the food that she made. Jin Zixuan, however, didn’t really like to pay her any attention.

At the same time, we do know that JZX had a sense of righteousness, what with him standing up against Wen Chao at Dusk-Creek Mountain. Likewise, we see with the soup incident that at least when it comes to a low-level cultivator who is a servant, a good deed done towards him without trying to gain his gratitude is enough to earn his respect, and for JZX to take action to raise the standing of that person:

Cleverly, the woman never acknowledged anything, but instead denied it ambiguously, her cheeks flushed, making it sound as though she was the one who did it, but didn’t want Jin Zixuan to know how much trouble she went through. And thus, Jin Zixuan didn’t force her to admit it any longer. However, in action, he had began to respect the cultivator. He began to pay attention to her, even raising her from a servant to a guest cultivator.

JZX even tells JYL: “Don’t think that just because you come from a powerful sect that you can steal and trample other people’s feelings. Some people, even if they come from poor backgrounds, their character are much better than the former’s. Please watch your conduct.” This underlines that, regardless of his upbringing, and perhaps even views that he might have held at some point in his life, at this point JZX seemed to want to judge others based on their character rather than their background. Of course, we can wonder if that reserve of good will would have extended to his half-brother, especially one that could try to take his place as the heir. However, considering the circumstances, from JGY’s birth to JGS’s decision to give him a name that did not align him with the same generation as JZX, we can wonder if anyone ever perceived then JGY as someone who could potentially become the next sect leader, as seen in this exchange between WWX and JC:

Jiang Cheng smirked, “Don’t carry your sword, then. It doesn’t matter. But don’t provoke Jin Zixuan from now on. He’s Jin Guangshan’s only son, after all. The future leader of the LanlingJin Sect will be him. If you beat him up, what should I, the sect leader, do? Beat him up with you? Or punish you?”

Wei Wuxian, “Isn’t Jin Guangyao here now? Jin Guangyao seems so much better than him.”

Jiang Cheng finished wiping his sword. After he scrutinized it for a while, he finally put Sandu back into its sheath, “So what, if he’s better? No matter how much better he is, no matter how clever, he could only be a servant who greets the guests. That’s all there is to his life. He can’t compare with Jin Zixuan.”

At Phoenix Mountain, while we do not see JZX say anything out of line to JGY, he is present while his mother and Jin Zixun disrespect him: and we get no reaction written for him while that takes place--he’s mostly licking his wounded pride. We also know that this disrespect by his family towards JGY was the norm, so we have to assume that JZX would have been a witness to it in other situations. In the context of that specific scene, it’s difficult to to infer something concrete from that silence: is it agreement? complicity? a certain indifference to JGY’s situation? an unwillingness of rock the boat or to seem to publicly challenge his mother? or simply him just being too self-absorbed by his romantic woes?

The next scene that would have made for an interesting case study is the night WWX comes to confront the Jins about the camp at Qiongqi Path. However, JZX is absent that night. Conveniently, or as a means to maintain a sense of ambiguity between him and WWX, we thereby do not know how JZX feels about what happened. He is also absent during the aftermath:  “At midnight, in the Golden Pavilion on JinlinTai sat over fifty sect leaders from sects of all sizes. Jin Guangshan sat in the foremost seat. Jin Zixuan was away [...].” (interesting that CQL added JZX to that scene). Which means he is not there to react to the mistreatment of JGY by others or to react to the way JGY is clearly lying for the purposes of manipulating the general opinion on WWX and save the Jin’s reputation.

We also do not get to witness the conversation that leads JZX to come to Qiongqi Path to try to stop Jin Zixun. All we get is a sentence of dialogue from JZX explaining that he thought JGY looked strange which prompted JZX tp questioned him questions (we of course know that JGY was purposefully acting that way to get JZX to go to Qionqqi Path, so it’s hard to take that as a sign of clear familiarity between them that would have allowed JZX to read hidden emotions from him). Did JZX ask out of specific concern for or suspicions of JGY? We don’t know! It is interesting to note though that, in this scene, Jin Zixun refers to JGY as “A-Yao”, which the narration contextualises by telling us that Jin Zixun started calling him in a more intimate manner despite the original contemps he had held for him. However, when JZX mentions JGY to Jin Zixun, he calls him “Jin Guangyao” (for reference, Jin Zixun calls JZX “Zixuan”).

All in all, we get very little from looking at JZX. However, there is something to be said in the absence of any specific grievances expressed by JGY towards him in terms of framing how JZX may have acted towards him when they were both at Jinlintai. Indeed, when Jin Ling asks JGY why he arranged for his father to go to Qiongqi path, meeting his death, JGY mentions the unfairness of the situation of both sons, but never brings up anything JZX did specifically to him. And we know that JGY has a great memory which allows him to hold grudges.

Suddenly, Jin Ling screamed, “Why?!” He stood up from beside Jiang Cheng. Eyes red, he rushed toward Jin Guangyao as he shouted, “Why did you have to do this?!”

Nie Huaisang hurried to pull back Jin Ling, who seemed as though he wanted to fight with Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao returned the question, “Why?” He turned to Jin Ling, “A-Ling, then could you tell me why? Why is it that even if I face everyone with a smile, I might not even receive the lowest form of respect, while even though your father was extremely arrogant, people flocked to him? Could you tell me why we were born from the same person but your father could relax at home with the love of his life playing with his child, while I never even dared be alone for long with my wife, shivering out of fright at first glance of my son? And I was ordered to do such a thing by my father as if it was natural—to kill an extremely dangerous figure who could flip out and conjure up a bloody massacre with his corpses anytime!

“Why is it that even though we were born on the same day, Jin Guangshan could host a grand banquet for one son, and watch with his own eyes how his subordinate kicked his other son down Jinlintai, from the first stair to the last!”

He finally revealed the hatred hidden deep within him. It wasn’t directed at neither Jin Zixuan nor Wei Wuxian, but rather his own father.

As a result, we might infer that, at the very least, JZX never directly acted towards JGY in a way that reflected how JGS or Jin Zixun (at some point) treated him. At the same time, it’s difficult to suggest that he stood up for him when other people disrespected him, and we know that JZX’s mother disrespected JGY in lieu of directing her anger toward the real culprit, her awful husband. Little seems to suggest that they grew intimate after JGY came to Jinlintai. It’s really hard to divine, as a result, what JZX might have thought of JGY.

The most interesting thing to take away from this is that it seems absolutely deliberate on MXTX’s part to show us as little as possible in terms of interactions between JZX and JGY. We can speculate as to why that is: to separate JZX from the machinations of this sect? to avoid giving us more ammunition to guess that JGY was behind JZX’s death? to ensure that WWX remains ambiguous towards JZX? or just as a means to avoid having to figure out how to work this dynamic into already complicated scenes and character relationships? etc.

[randomposterofstuff]

An in-depth analysis of Mikasa’s character development in relation to Eren and Levi

Author's Note: Hi, all! As I was re-reading and going over my previous post/analysis titled "On the change of dynamics of Mikasa's relationships with Eren and Levi," I realized that there were some points that I should've/could've included. Lol. I also came up with other points of analysis as well as arrived at other realizations concerning Mikasa's connections with Eren and Levi. So, I've decided to post them here. This post can be considered a continuation of the previous analysis since it supplements and further expounds on the last post's points. But this can still stand on its own since it also talks about additional issues. Haha. If you want to read the previous post, the link is up there. Hehehe.

Fair Warning: This is a very long post. Lol.

This post will analyze the following:

1.  How Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history. This was already touched upon in the previous post, but this post will expound more on this.

2.  How Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's own character development. How her development as a character is affected by this will also be discussed. This segment will also analyze how Mikasa's connection to Eren became strained because of the latter's drastic change in the latter part of the series.

3.  How "Chapter 138: A Really Long Dream" is about Mikasa finally letting go of and "waking up" from her dream. This post shall also analyze how Chapter 138 is actually the climax and turning point of Mikasa's character development concerning Eren.

4.  How Eren represents Mikasa's dream, while Levi represents her reality. This will be further expounded on later.

From the foregoing topics, it’s clear that this is a primarily Mikasa-centered analysis. Haha. I just had so many thoughts running through my mind about her development that I was eager to make this post. Lol.

So, anyway, we now delve in:

1.    Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history.

In the series, most of Mikasa's actions and reactions tend to either revolve around or be connected to Eren. About this, it is necessary to take into account their relationship and shared history.

Before Mikasa met Eren, she was a young girl who lived a relatively peaceful and quiet life with her loving parents. But then, all that changed when human traffickers killed her parents in front of her eyes and kidnapped her to sell her as a sex slave.

During this time, she was just an innocent young girl who hadn't experienced much of the world yet. So, one can only imagine the pain, shock, and trauma that she must have felt during her brief period of captivity. Being so young at the time, she was understandably shaken and scared – having had her family and her innocence forcibly and violently taken away from her.

However, hope came in the form of a young Eren who had gone looking for her on his own when he and his father discovered her parents' bodies. When he found her, he wasted no time taking action and immediately killed two of her captors before freeing her. When the third captor arrived and tried to strangle Eren, he told her to fight. At first, she was scared to do so, as evidenced by her shaking when she held the knife Eren used to cut her binds. While he kept telling her to fight, memories suddenly flashed in her mind, and they made her realize that they lived in a cruel but beautiful world. During this time, her dormant "Ackerman powers" awakened and thus gave her the strength and courage to actually fight and deliver the killing blow – thereby freeing both herself and Eren. As we all know, in the aftermath, the Yeagers took Mikasa in, and Eren gave her his scarf when she said that she felt cold.

As mentioned before, Mikasa and Eren's shared history is important. This is because it defined the early dynamics of their relationship. Eren was literally and figuratively her savior. He saved her from captivity and from a potential future of abuse. He also saved her from loneliness and despair. When she lost her biological parents, she found a new family in Eren, Grisha, and Carla. The Yeager parents treated her warmly and kindly, and Eren was her constant companion (apart from Armin, of course). Having experienced the severe trauma of violently losing her parents, she never wanted to lose anyone precious to her ever again. This is evidenced by the following situations in the series:

a)  When she and Eren desperately wanted to save Carla from the Smiling Titan in Season 1. Neither she nor Eren wanted to leave her behind. So, when Hans carried them away to safety, Mikasa was visibly crying and heartbroken.

b)  When she attacked Levi with tears in her eyes when he initially declared that he would use the Titan serum on Erwin instead of Armin. Armin, alongside Eren, was one of the most precious people left in her life. As such, the idea of losing him was painful. When Levi eventually decided to save Armin instead, Mikasa wept tears of joy when Armin fully recovered after eating Bertolt.

c)  When Mikasa cried upon seeing Sasha's dead body. While the development of their friendship wasn't fully shown, it was clear that Sasha meant a great deal to Mikasa as the former's death affected her deeply.

About Mikasa not wanting to lose anyone close to her, it is evident and apparent that Eren was the most special person in her life. This is not surprising since Eren was the one who literally saved her, and there's also the fact that he was the only one left of her adoptive family. Apart from these, I think that the following reasons are also possible and probable causes as to why Eren was the most special:

a)  Eren was her source of hope and strength. When she fell into despair when she was kidnapped, Eren gave her hope when he came to her rescue. It was also during the struggle against her captors that she awakened her inner Ackerman power. So, she might have attributed her then new-found strength to him. 

[Side note: I'm aware that Eren was lying when he commented that Mikasa had responded to his "command" to fight back then because she mistakenly thought that he was a "royal host." In the “Attack on Titan ANSWERS” guidebook, Isayama-sensei himself stated that "[Mikasa, Levi, and Kenny] are all part of the same Ackerman bloodline. However, their reasons for protecting their respective counterparts do not have anything to do with the bloodline itself—it is just their nature." When I said that Mikasa attributed her then new-found strength to him, I was talking in figurative and emotional terms. Lol.]

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 6 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

b)    In her eyes, Eren represented the good in their cruel world. Because of Eren, Mikasa realized that the world is cruel but is also beautiful – meaning that there's also good in it

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 7 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

My take is that all of these things shaped and formed the beginnings of Mikasa's connection to Eren. Their shared history influenced Mikasa's overly protective nature towards him and her affection for him. Eren was the foundation of her strength and a constant reminder that there was still good in the cruel world they lived in. As such, she would have done anything to protect him and all that he meant to her.

This is particularly important as we proceed to the second point of this analysis, which is how Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's.

-----

2.    Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's.

For the most part of the series, Mikasa has been characterized by her strong urge to protect Eren. The reasons behind this protective nature of hers have already been expounded earlier. At this juncture, I shall now discuss how Mikasa was affected by the kind of person Eren used to be.

Specifically, this portion of the analysis will be divided into two (2) parts: the first will be about their character developments during the pre-Marley arc. The second will be about their developments during the Marley arc and going onwards.

a)    Pre-Marley Arc

As previously mentioned, Eren was her literal savior. And she saw firsthand how he would willingly place himself in danger to protect others. She appreciated Eren's good-nature. And she likely saw him as a sort of embodiment of the things that make the cruel world they live in more bearable and more beautiful.

It is essential to consider the kind of person that Eren used to be before the Marley arc. Before the truth of the world and the Titans was revealed, Eren was a mischievous and stubborn child. Still, at the same time, he was also good-natured, determined, selfless, and courageous. His resolve, courage, and desire to protect others were further amplified when the Warriors of Marley attacked his hometown of Shiganshina and when the Smiling Titan ate his mother.

The early stages of Eren's development are relevant to Mikasa's own development. Due to his well-meaning nature and their shared history, Mikasa felt strongly inclined to side with him and protect him at all times. While this is understandable on her part, it has also proven to be problematic.

Her disposition towards Eren impaired her judgment

For instance, it has been shown on more than one occasion that Mikasa's affection for Eren has impaired her judgment. This has been exemplified in the following cases:

a)    Back in Season 1, when both she and Armin thought that Eren had been killed, Mikasa went on a reckless rampage on her own against the Titans which invaded Trost. To be fair, she was grief-stricken under the circumstances. Nonetheless, her actions were still irresponsible, and she nearly lost her own life because of them.

b)    When she recklessly went after Annie in her Female Titan form after the latter had captured Eren in the Forest of Giant Trees outside the Walls. Mikasa would have probably been killed had Levi not arrived. Furthermore, because of her rage towards Annie during this time, Mikasa disobeyed Levi's order not to engage Annie in battle. Her decision endangered her; it also resulted in Levi's injury, which rendered him unable to fight for some time.

It also narrowed her priorities and way of thinking

As mentioned in my previous post, Mikasa is not cruel or heartless towards others. It has been shown that she has empathy for innocent and helpless people. This is likely because of her own experiences with being powerless. The following instances exemplify this:

a)    When she saved Louise and her mother from one of the Titans that had invaded Trost.

b)    When she threatened Dimo Reeves with her sword when he refused to allow the district's defenseless citizens to pass through the pathway leading to the protected areas until all of his merchandise and goods were carried through. She only relented her threatening demeanor and actions when he had this cart moved to the side to make way for the citizens to pass.

However, because of the extent of her concern and devotion to Eren, Mikasa seemed to disregard nearly everything else whenever he was in danger.

An example of this was during the Struggle for Trost and Eren's military trial in Season 1. When Eren transformed to begin the mission to seal the Wall, he initially lost control and attacked Mikasa and the others. It is worth noting that it was unintentional on his part. However, that does not change the fact that his loss of control nearly jeopardized the mission and placed his comrades in danger.

While the mission was ultimately successful, Eren's loss of control was still a serious source of concern. Because of this, he was temporarily imprisoned. It was also decided that there would be a trial to see if he was either a threat or an asset to humanity within the Walls.

During this time, Mikasa was understandable apprehensive, and worried about Eren. It is worth noting that, as mentioned in my previous post, she was more concerned about him than the fact that he was still a potential threat at the time. It should be remembered that during this time, the inhabitants of Paradis (save for a select few such as the royal family and their followers) were ignorant of the truth about Titans and the world. As such, the fear directed towards Eren was valid and understandable. Yet, despite this, Mikasa was still singularly focused on him.

This is evidenced by the following:

a)    Her glaring at Rico when it was revealed that the latter had mentioned Eren's loss of control in the report that they had submitted. When Rico responded with, "Did you expect me to lie in a report?" Mikasa simply continued to glare at the Garrison soldier. On this, Rico was clearly in the right for telling the truth since Eren's powers were still a mystery and still potentially harmful to others. Yet, Mikasa was probably too worried about Eren to realize this.

b)    When she attempted to attack Levi when the latter began to physically beat Eren. She would've undoubtedly intervened had Armin not stopped her. I had already expounded on this in my previous post, but I will just add the pertinent excerpts here:

"The display was necessary to emphasize and prove that Levi, who is widely known as "Humanity's Strongest Soldier," was best suited to subdue Eren should he lose control of his abilities. Because of this, the Scouts were able to convince the Military Police and Premier Zackly that they should be given custody over Eren. At the time, Mikasa was gravely concerned about Eren's well-being and was perhaps too furious at Levi to think about anything else. Because of this, she probably did not immediately realize that Levi had effectively secured Eren's relative safety at the end of the day. "

"During the trial, the MPs spoke of planning to dissect him, among others. Conversely, the Scouts proposed that he participate in an upcoming scouting expedition to determine whether he is a threat or not. They also suggested that Eren be placed under Levi's direct supervision so that he could be subdued in the event of an incident. While the latter proposal still entailed some degree of violence, it was far less hostile and more beneficial to Eren than the MP's proposal."

To conclude this part, I think that Mikasa focused more on the fact that Eren never meant any harm. And she probably thought that Eren should not be punished because of this. Again, all of this shows how Mikasa was inclined to always side with Eren (even though his actions may sometimes do more harm than good) because of his good and well-meaning nature and their shared history.

b)   Marley arc until the present time

The second part of this segment shall now discuss how Eren's drastic and dark development affected Mikasa.

As mentioned before, Mikasa always sided with Eren because of their past and his good nature.

However, when Eren began changing for the worse, their relationship began to deteriorate. As mentioned in my previous post, they slowly but surely drifted apart until they lost their common ground.

At the start of the Marley arc (which is the beginning of the fourth season in the anime), Eren's personality had noticeably become darker. This is evidenced by his horrible actions, which endangered and cost lives, such as the following:

a)    When he executed his and Zeke's plan to raid Liberio so that they could both escape to Paradis Island. As a result of this plan, countless innocent civilians and children were killed in the process. Furthermore, several of his comrades from the Survey Corps/Scouting Regiment lost their lives, including Sasha.

b)    When he initiated the Rumbling with the intention to destroy all of humanity not residing within Paradis Island. This plan and course of action would eliminate both their enemies who were actively plotting to attack Paradis and millions of innocent civilians and bystanders.

At this point in time, Eren had changed from a good-natured and compassionate soldier dedicated to protecting innocents to a depressed and violent extremist. This change was triggered by the revelation of the truth about the world and his gaining access to the memories of the past and future inheritors of his Attack Titan.

With regard to how his terrible change affected Mikasa, it is clear that she was clearly disturbed by it.

Mikasa had begun to acknowledge that Eren was no longer the "good" in their cruel world.

During the raid on Liberio, she was visibly distraught and affected by Eren's destructive actions. It seemed that she was in disbelief – she even asked him if he was aware that he did things that cannot be undone. As mentioned in the previous post, Mikasa was even more distressed because Eren consciously caused the destruction and did not appear to show any remorse.

It is worth noting that Mikasa's empathy for innocent and defenseless people, especially children, was highlighted in this scene. When she asked Eren if he was aware of his actions' consequences, there were tears in her eyes.

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 6 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

At that point in time, Mikasa had begun to realize that the Eren she once knew was no longer with them. She had started to see that Eren no longer represented the good in the world; and that he had become a source of what makes it cruel.

Mikasa felt conflicted because she was in denial.

Throughout the Marley arc events up until the Rumbling arc, Mikasa still held on to the hope that Eren could still change for the better. It is true that she believed (or maybe desperately wanted to believe) that Zeke was manipulating him, but does not change the fact that Eren was acting on his own accord.

On several occasions, Mikasa had expressed her desire to talk to Eren and kept insisting that sense could still be talked into him. I think that this is an indicator that she was in a state of "pseudo-denial."

I used the term "pseudo-denial" because, from how I see it, Mikasa was already aware that Eren was no longer the same person who saved her.  That he was no longer the same person who insisted that Historia eat him so that humanity can be saved. That he was no longer the same person who would jump right into battle to protect innocent people; that he had turned into someone who had harmed and would continue to harm innocent people. However, it appears that Mikasa did not want to accept this fact. This is why she kept insisting on talking to Eren in the slim chance that he could still be persuaded to abandon his plan of initiating the Rumbling. She was torn between reality and her personal sentiments. In short, she still hoped that the kind person who stood up for the helpless and who saved her from bondage was still in there somewhere. This exemplified by this scene from Episode 14 of Season 4:

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 14 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

This pseudo-denial placed her odds with her allies and comrades. The others, such Armin, Annie, and Levi, had already accepted that Eren needed to be killed in the worst-case scenario. On this, it's apparent that Mikasa knew that they were right considering the circumstances. But she still felt conflicted because she still hoped that Eren could be convinced to not go through with his plans. However, that hope was dashed when Eren himself told them that the only way to stop him was to kill him. Yet, even then, she was still hesitant and conflicted.

Mikasa had matured because of their strained connection and had begun outgrowing her bond with Eren.

In a way, Mikasa was still holding onto the past. On this, Eren's dark character development is what caused their relationship to deteriorate. As previously discussed, Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history and the type of person he used to be. In the past, Eren was her savior, her family, and her source of strength and hope. But when he stopped being those things to her, the foundation for their bond was lost.

While it is tragic and drastic for Mikasa, this caused her to become more keenly aware of other priorities. She became more cognizant of the stakes involved rather than just focusing on Eren. Although she still cared greatly for him, she was no longer singularly focused on him. She became wise and mature enough to not turn a blind eye to the danger and threat that he posed. This in sharp contrast to how she acted in the past. Before, she would always place Eren's welfare first before nearly anything else. But because of recent developments, she finally began to realize and understand that there were other things more important than Eren. And I think that this is a significant turning point for her since he had affected and influenced her for most of her life.

Before Chapter 138, Mikasa was still in a state of "pseudo-denial" because of her hope for a more peaceful solution in dealing with Eren. But I think that the fact that she started feeling conflicted was the start of her process of outgrowing her bond with Eren. This is because she knew that she could no longer just turn a blind eye to his actions and their devastating effects.

The significance of her process of outgrowing her connection with Eren will be further expounded in the next point of analysis below.

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3.    "Chapter 138: A Long Dream" is about Mikasa finally letting go of and "waking up" from her own dream.

It has already been established that Mikasa had dreamed of living a peaceful life for the longest time. She dreams of one that is similar to the kind she once had with her parents. In particular, Mikasa wanted to live such a life with her loved ones, particularly Eren. The "dream" she had during this chapter is evidence of this.

It is unclear whether what Mikasa saw was a dream, a hallucination, a vision, or, as some fans speculate, a memory from an alternate reality. In any case, it was not the reality that she lived in.

I've already stated earlier that her process of outgrowing Eren and their bond was significant. Concerning this, I think that the said process was part of a slow build-up towards her decision to finally let Eren go and kill him.

As previously mentioned, Mikasa seemed to have difficulty accepting that the Eren of her past had turned into the Eren who wished to destroy all of humanity outside of Paradis. She had struggled to fully acknowledge and accept this fact because it was too painful for her. However, as the situation started to become more drastic and desperate, she realized that she had no other choice but to face reality.

But even though she knew this, she still felt conflicted. Even when Eren told them that the only way to stop him was to kill him, she was still hesitant. She knew what needed to be done but could not accept it because of her attachment to Eren.

On this, I think that the "dream" or vision (or whatever it really was) that she had during the battle is representative of the kind of life she wishes and dreams for. When she, Levi, and the remaining Titan shifters were the only ones left to fight, she started having another headache. And when Levi told her that they were the only ones left who could kill Eren, her head pain intensified until the dream/vision started playing in her mind.

This is my take on this moment: the headache represented Mikasa's conflicted feelings. She knew that Eren needed to be stopped to save humanity. She knew that the rest of the world did not deserve to suffer from the cruel fate that Eren wished to bestow upon it. But her emotional attachments held her back from taking action. As for the dream/vision, I think it was her way of arriving at an epiphany and decision. And on this, maybe it was this dream/vision that gave Mikasa the resolve and courage to finally accept the reality. I will expound further.

In the dream/vision, Mikasa was crying. She said that she "shouldn't be there." And then dream-Eren spoke about their decision to run away from the Marleyan-Paradis conflict so that they could live in isolation and in peace during the last few years of his life. Dream-Eren then apologized for "bringing up the past."

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

I personally think that this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. During this dream/vision, Mikasa finally realized that her wish and dream to live a peaceful life with Eren could no longer come true. Her dream was born in the past, and if there was any chance of it happening, it had already passed by. Mikasa finally realized that attaining her dream was already impossible at that point.

I also think that when dream-Eren told her to forget about him after he dies, this could be interpreted as Mikasa realizing that if she were to finally have a quiet and peaceful life, then Eren would not be a part of it.

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

Furthermore, Mikasa saying that she "had a long dream" could mean that she finally let go of her life-long wish/dream so that she can wake up to the reality she needed to face. It could be interpreted as her choosing to give up on Eren for good to make the world a less cruel place. On this, her decision to kill Eren herself was likely her way of letting him go and saying goodbye. It was the climactic resolution and outcome of her internal conflict where she struggled to choose between doing the right thing (saving humanity) and holding on to the most special thing in her life (Eren). In the end, she chose humanity over him because she knew that if she chose him, then their already cruel world would become darker and crueler.

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

A quick note on Mikasa saying that she can’t forget Eren:

Some people might say that Mikasa’s declaration that she can’t forget Eren means that she decided not to let him go. I personally disagree with this. It is completely possible to move on from someone and let them go without forgetting them. In Mikasa’s case, I think that by saying that she won’t forget Eren, she meant that she will always remember the peaceful, good, and happy times that they had together. I also think that it means that she will fondly remember Eren as the good person he used to be.

I think that it’s understandable and fair that Mikasa chooses to remember the good times and the good things. Because, for better or for worse, Eren was still a huge and influential part of her life. The old Eren and the good times they had together were very much real, and the happiness she felt during those times was also genuine and valid. I also think that her decision to wear the scarf around her neck before delivering the killing blow was her way of saying, “I’m letting you go. But I will always value the good moments we had together. Goodbye.”

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

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4. Eren represents Mikasa's dream, while Levi represents her reality.

This is a personal take and interpretation of the possible symbolisms connecting Mikasa and Levi in Chapter 138.

During the final battle against Eren, only Levi, Mikasa, and the titan-shifters were left to fight. And during this battle, Mikasa started to have her dream/vision. While dealing with her conflicted emotions, she began to drift to her "dream" about Eren and away from reality. And while she was drifting away, Levi kept telling her to "stay with [him there]."

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

This could be interpreted as Levi being the voice calling out to her to stay in the current reality and not get lost in her distant and impossible dream. It is interesting to note that before she began "dreaming," an image of Eren as a child was shown, followed by a panel of a close-up of Levi's mouth with no dialogue. Meaning that everything around her had already faded away before she was immersed in her dream during that time.

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

This could symbolize the inner conflict and turmoil that Mikasa was experiencing. She was torn between holding on to the past and accepting the present.

When she woke-up, both literally and figuratively, Mikasa had decided to let go of her dream and of Eren. She finally accepted the reality and returned to it. She returned to Levi's side and faced reality alongside him.

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

Following this line of thought, this symbolic moment could foreshadow the kind of relationship they would have in the future. Considering that this final stand against Eren might very well be the most important battle of their lives, it would be reasonable to assume that they might form a deeper connection and relationship in its aftermath. They finished it together, so perhaps (and hopefully) it means that whatever the future might bring, they would also face it together.

Going back to how Eren and Levi are symbols, Eren represents her dream. Eren is not only a part of it; it is also linked to her past. Mikasa knew that her dream was impossible to achieve at that point and that it was necessary to finally let it go.

Levi, on the other hand, represents her reality. The reality she currently lives in is cruel and harsh. However, she can control what she does in it and what she makes of her life in the said reality. In other words, her reality is full of possibilities and various choices. This is in contrast to her dream of a life with Eren, which was impossible to attain. Furthermore, she only had two (2) choices as to what to do with the dream. It was either to keep holding on to it despite its impossibility or to let it go completely.

Thus, it can be said that Eren represents and symbolizes “what could have been”. Whereas, Levi represents “what could be”. Prescinding from this, there really is a good chance of Mikasa and Levi growing closer in the future.

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Author’s Note: Well, that’s all for now. Lol. I know that this post is very, very lengthy. Hahahaha. So, I really appreciate you guys for taking the time to read it. I tried my best to make it as organized and as clear as possible. I hope that it makes sense. Haha. I might post more analyses in the future. Hehehe. Let me know your thoughts and opinions!

[moonbaby26]

Title: Aftermath

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Continuation of previous chapter. Set after the battle with Apocalypse, you and the others are finally picked up from Cairo by allied forces and transported to a nearby aircraft carrier for temporary shelter/debriefing while you try to arrange travel back into the U.S. The reader helps Peter work through the continued emotional fallout from realizations of all that his father Magneto has done.

Warnings: Some cursing. More emotional baggage being unloaded. But also fluff/comfort, and eventual brief makeout session to help with the stress relief.

Chapters: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Taglist: @drikawinchester , @n0obmaster69 , @alexloveskili , @what-a-silver-lining , @bluesprings18 , @weakmoony-stuff , @slytherinsi-mp , @wintwrsoldiwr , @tommy-braccoli , @amourtentiaa , @cringingmemeries , @bi-panicatthe-disco

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

——————————

Like Magneto had warned, it’d still been a long time before anyone had come to help. Trying to put back together some semblance of working communication equipment from the remnants of the jet, and whatever they could scavenge from the damaged homes and buildings all around had taken Hank and Moira long enough.

But even when Moira could finally establish renewed contact with the outside world to put out a distress call, finding a U.S. ally willing and even capable to fly into ground zero to pluck all of you out was another matter.

Unfortunately, you had eventually realized that the destruction here in Cairo hadn’t been all there was. Most population centers through the world had been impacted, many of the larger air and naval bases among them. It was hard to say how much had been Apocalypse, and how many had fallen solely because of Magneto though. From the little bit Moira did relay back to you all, the more metal any structure had had in it, the more likely it had ended up decimated.

It was only helicopters that finally came, no runway area available in all the rubble for any larger plane. When the soldiers exited them, you picked up that they were all speaking Greek.

“We’ll all be going to the island of Crete.” Xavier had confirmed, meeting with you all before boarding. “There is an allied naval base there, where U.S. officials will be awaiting to debrief us.”

It was no surprise that he could sense the unease in the majority of you, after all that had occurred the last time you’d been forced into helicopters with men dressed in military fatigues like this.

He had changed then to communicating telepathically with each of you individually, to give the soldiers no chance to overhear. Though the message was the same for everyone. “We will all be split onto only two helicopters. I will be in one, and Jean in the other. If they should even think of anything unsavory, we will, let’s say alter their plans to otherwise. But everyone stay at least paired please as precaution. Together, you are all your own best protection.”

It’d been no question that you would board with Peter. On one helicopter it would end up being the Professor, Moira, Peter, yourself, and the white haired girl you now knew as Ororo Munroe. On the other, Hank, Raven, Jean, Scott, and Kurt.

Ororo had actually been rather nice to talk to, once she was no longer trying to blast you out of the sky anyway. You’d learned she’d been living on the streets of Cairo for quite some time, just stealing to survive before she’d run into Apocalypse by chance when he was first trying to recruit powerful mutants.

When she’d spoken about having no living family, and thereby no desire to stick around in Egypt any longer, Kurt had been the one to excitedly tell her all about the school. Which the Professor had already vowed to rebuild thankfully, inviting Ororo immediately should she wish to join you all.

Gladly, she accepted, and by the time the soldiers were sliding the helicopter doors closed, the sun was finally setting. The interior lighting was already dim, as you glanced over to Peter in the growing darkness, seated together on bench like seats along the inner hull. He’d been waiting until the very last moment you thought to see if Erik would come back, but he never did. Though you couldn’t imagine Magneto ever would have agreed to travel like this. Or that the Greek airmen would have even allowed it, still knowing he was wanted worldwide.

You did believe Xavier though. When the dust finally settled, you thought Erik would be back. He’d find his own way home. And to contact Peter again, he’d only have to reach out to the Professor. Which of course Erik would no doubt, as those two old friends always crossed paths again eventually from all the stories you had heard. They never gave up on each other in the end, despite all their differences in beliefs.

You didn’t fight it when you finally began to nod off. Even over the pulsing of the helicopter and the radio chatter coming from the soldiers’ headsets, it was all just white noise eventually. Peter had his arm around your waist, his head leaned back against the hull and yours on his shoulder as you’d both fallen asleep somewhere over the now moonlit Mediterranean Sea.

——————————

Waking up had been much harder. As stiff as you were from the helicopter ride, you still had been in no hurry to move as you’d heard your name called. Xavier was trying to round you all up before the soldiers got impatient.

They’d at least provided him a wheelchair you noticed as you all groggily reconvened on what was actually the flight deck of a large U.S. aircraft carrier now docked in the bay alongside the Greek naval base.

All of you certainly looked worse for wear, Peter especially had his glasses skewed almost comically now, hair mussed in about every direction as he yawned big, standing on one leg with an arm thrown over your shoulders for support.

Once you were all accounted for on deck, the Professor spoke quickly. “Given the state of things, there will not be any transatlantic flights available currently. We will be staying here in the short term. For all of you, you will be given medical treatment as needed in this ship’s sick bay. We have also been provided sleeping arrangements separate of the crew. I am asking all of you to please rest up as best you can tonight. Moira and I will speak to these gentlemen as to the events that have transpired today.”

The “gentlemen” Xavier referred to looked about as pleased to be here as you all had been to wake up in Stryker’s base. You knew little of actual military rankings, but from the amount of bars on the fronts of their uniforms, you’d guess they were pretty high up there in authority.

But the Professor only continued in your heads for good measure. “Please understand that non-mutants especially are on edge right now. There were fatalities and very extensive damages to some cities today. I implore you all to be patient with any persons you may encounter on this ship. I believe they’ve moved the majority of the crew to the mainland already to better quarantine us here and limit tensions. But please remember, that by your demeanor and your choices, you represent us all. I will reach out to you all as soon as I know anything more on our options for returning home.”

He’d bid you all good night then, leaving with Moira and the most senior looking of the men while the rest of you had followed some nervous looking officers to the lower decks. You got the sense that Hank and Raven now felt obligated to chaperone and protect the group, as the oldest of you now, only second to the Professor.

Raven had assumed her blonde, human appearance before the helicopters had arrived, but without his medicine Hank could only remain in his Beast form. You could tell how uncomfortable both he and Kurt now made the soldiers as Hank had requested to accompany you and Peter to the sick bay, while Raven went with the others to whatever living quarters you were being given.

You’d be lying to say that their obvious judgment on Hank and Kurt’s physical appearances didn’t bother you. But you tried to remind yourself that they also didn’t know any better. They didn’t know how ridiculously smart, and even a bit nerdy and loyal Hank could be. Or how kind, forgiving, and genuine Kurt was.

When you did get to the sick bay, the doctor on call also looked like he’d just been dragged in there against his better judgement. But he did greet you all, saying he’d been made aware that there was a broken leg he needed to set and make a cast for.

His reaction to the metal splint Peter already had though was almost something funny. You knew Peter wanted to joke so badly about his “dad making it for him”, but you’d all agreed before the helicopters had arrived to downplay Erik’s role in all of this if he didn’t show himself.

Xavier had promised to make clear to the U.S. officials that Erik had been on your side in the end though. Yes, Magneto had blood on his hands from past and present, but having the world pursue him any further would only lead to more violence. It wouldn’t undo anything that had already been done.

Beast had been strong enough to unbend the metal with his bare hands, carefully removing the splint. He’d also helped Peter get out of the flight suit and dirtied clothing to wash up. Though they’d just cut his clothing away from his broken leg with surgical shears, not to injure it any further.

They’d put a screen up for some privacy while they worked on him. You knew Hank would protect Peter, so you were okay focusing on yourself a bit as you also got undressed and a nurse checked you for broken bones. With your clothes off, you finally got to see how badly bruised you were everywhere. But they’d agreed that your only actually damaged bones were cracked ribs, which there was no real treatment for save going easy to give them proper time to heal.

After the examination, you were allowed to take a shower. Which was honestly more amazing than you expected, not realizing just how much dirt, sweat, and blood had accumulated through all of this. Afterward, you’d gotten dressed with some clothes they’d left you. A plain white t-shirt with a small U.S. Navy insignia, and dark blue sweatpants essentially.

They’d offered to escort you to where the others were bunked. But you declined, choosing to wait for Hank and Peter instead.

And it had been a while, but eventually they cane back out. You could see they’d gotten the same treatment as you while here. Both had showered, though Peter made a point to laugh at how poor Hank had had to help him essentially get a trash bag tied over his leg cast first so he wouldn’t get it wet.

They had on the same white t-shirts as you as well now. Though even in the largest size, Hank’s looked uncomfortably small. Hank also got the same blue pants as you, but for Peter it was only blue shorts to accommodate his cast. You all looked like you were late for P.E. class honestly, albeit maybe at a U.S. Naval academy somewhere. You’d gotten a good deal of amusement from that.

They’d given Peter crutches too, which he was clearly playing with as he tried to see how quick he could move on them. Hank reprimanded him more than once when Peter had almost fallen flat on his face a few times on your way to the bunks.

The soldiers hadn’t separated you into guys and girls for the sleeping arrangements. Probably because to them the separation was more mutant/non-mutant only in all reality. But it didn’t bother you any. Really you felt safer knowing everyone else was close. By the time you had gotten to the bunks though, it was already lights out and Raven was the only one still awake waiting for you three.

“Sleep where you want,” She said, motioning to all the still empty beds. It looked like this block was meant to house a lot more than just your small number, but had evidently been cleared out for your arrival. Still being on a ship though where space was at a premium and the beds were double stacked and inset into the walls, it would be sleeping like books on a shelf.

You’d walked down a ways past your sleeping friends to find some open ones. Naturally you started to climb into the top bunk, knowing Peter would need the bottom with his cast in the way.

But you didn’t even have both legs pulled in before he startled you by grabbing your ankle. “What?” You breathed in a whisper, not wishing to wake the others as you tried to look down at him in the dark. With the main lights off, there was only the faintest glow from small emergency type lights sparsely spaced along the walls.

Mostly you could just see the white of his teeth, knowing he was grinning back at you. In this moment it reminded you only of the Cheshire cat, mischievous and a little disconcerting.

“There’s room down here, goofball,” He whispered back.

“Peter,” You answered, the tone saying far more than the short response. You weren’t alone here, and it, well it just didn’t seem proper. With the immediate threat of death now finally passed (hopefully), it really felt more like being back at school for the moment. There were standards of behavior and-

“If one of Hank can fit in these, then two of us definitely will.” He was clearly unfazed by your sudden reservations, though seemed to realize the cause pretty quickly. “Raven doesn’t care. Where do you think Scott and Jean ended up? You didn’t even notice did you?”

You could hear the bit of amusement in his voice. But no, you didn’t count heads as you were walking by. Why would you? If Scott and Jean had made it into the same bunk already, it wasn’t your business.

Which, yes, admittedly if you felt that way, would the others be as okay with it for you and Peter? He’d rightly guessed that it was more the fear of being judged that made you hesitate, than actually being uncomfortable sleeping beside him. You’d already slept side by side in the helicopter on the way here after all, but that wasn’t quite the same as being in the same bed.

“Still waiting,” He reminded, squeezing your ankle lightly.

You knew if you actually said no, he would drop it. It was only your indecision that he was waiting for you to resolve. But, how often would you have this chance again? Thinking of it in those terms, you relented at last, climbing back down.

You could still see his smile in the dark, no doubt excited over the small victory as he scooted back as much as he could to allow you in.

Trying to get into a comfortable position was a little awkward at first, especially with his cast. But you eventually ended up both laying on your sides, your back against his chest as he wrapped an arm around you under your shared blanket.

You were quickly learning how much he seemed to be comforted by physical contact. It wasn’t long at all before his breathing steadied out and you realized he was fast asleep, his head nuzzled into the back of your neck.

The feeling was warm and pleasant though. Yourself following suit not long after, sleeping deeply at last for a long deserved rest.

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When morning finally came, there was no real way to know it. There were no windows to let in the daylight. By the time you’d woken to hear the others’ voices and the fluorescent lighting buzzing back on when one of them hit the switch, you’d learned it was actually almost noon local time.

Which none of you were complaining about. But you were hungry now. Sleep had been the primary physical need beforehand, and with that now met, you needed some more calories to burn.

Peter especially. You could actually hear his stomach growling as you’d all gotten up and headed into the common bathroom to brush teeth, brush hair and the like with the standard toiletries they’d left in there for everyone.

“Yeah, I’m like a hummingbird basically,” He’d explained nonchalantly on your walk to the mess hall afterward. “I just haven’t fallen out yet here because I haven’t gotten to run since dickhead busted my leg. But normally yeah, high octane all the time to keep things going. My blood sugar tanks if I don’t keep snacking at least. Twinkies are a personal fave in the old survival kit.”

“Those are good,” Kurt agreed. “I like the little pies too,” He gestured a circle shape with his hands, “With the little...the dried purple fruit, what are those in English?”

“Raisins, my bro.” Peter responded. “Old raisin creme pie. I swap back and forth on those. Oatmeal pies are alright too, but you know where it’s really at is zebra cakes, man.”

“Zebra...cake?” Clearly Kurt was trying to envision in his head how a zebra would have anything to do with the naming of a cake.

“It’s got white icing with brown stripes,” You answered. You weren’t super into junk food, but you did grow up in the U.S., so a lot of this knowledge was entirely unavoidable.

“But zebras have black stripes?” Kurt replied with some bit of bemusement.

“I don’t think Little Debbie or Hostess are too concerned with accurate representations of wildlife.” Raven chimed in, halfway amused at the randomness of the topics you all came up with, but still looking quite unimpressed.

“They do have brown stripes when they’re juveniles, before they get their adult coat.” Hank corrected though, glancing down at her.

“So they should be called baby zebra cakes. Got it.” Scott finally piped up, though also clearly thinking this ridiculous.

Raven and Jean just exchanged a look of their own as Ororo glanced to you. “Is it always like this?”

“Pretty much,” You answered with a slight smile. It was good to see Peter meshing in so well with the others though, even if he was a little bit older. You hoped that whenever the school was rebuilt that he’d consider staying. Xavier always seemed to be able to make room for any young mutant willing to learn and also work as a mentor to the even younger kids.

You were all still chatting lightly as your group walked through the mess hall doors. But after being just the few of you for so many hours, it was a bit of a shock to see several tables worth of sailors look up at your sudden intrusion.

It was clear by the amount of still empty tables though, that this wasn’t near the normal occupancy rate. You remembered the Professor commenting that he thought a lot of the men had been forced to disembark to the mainland, just to make a larger bubble for you all.

And by all the expressions on the faces of those that were left, it seemed that most disagreed whole heartedly with that decision.

Your group quieted immediately, everyone picking up on those stares and the bit of whispering as you got in line together. The mess hall was set up cafeteria style, so you had to grab trays and slide them along, picking what you wanted as the kitchen staff would spoon out or serve whatever it was you’d chosen onto your tray.

“Maybe we should just take the food back to the barracks?” Kurt asked quietly, looking down with an evident bit of anxiety building.

“It’s okay,” Raven answered, “Just keep your head up. We won’t be long.”

You were conflicted though. You shouldn’t have to eat, segregated out of everyone else’s sight like some sort of criminals, just because your presence might offend someone. But then again, what purpose did it serve in the larger scheme of things if you antagonized these sailors into an avoidable confrontation right now?

As the Professor had said, tensions were already high. Throwing any spark into that powder keg couldn’t possibly end well.

Hank had volunteered to carry Peter’s tray for him, as Peter needed both hands to work his crutches. You were glad for that at least as you could only envision yourself dropping it all in spectacular fashion. Especially when Peter insisted on a triple portion of some kind of strawberry cake desert they’d had.

“I think we should go back to the bunks,” Jean spoke up though when you were all about to walk away from the line with your trays and drinks. “There’s one of them, he’s about to go off.”

You all paused, looking to Raven and Hank simultaneously, seemingly all deciding without speaking that they’d become the de facto leadership in the Professor’s absence.

“Fine,” Raven relented, obviously not wanting to roll over in this situation, but also remembering all you’d already been through recently. Just getting to eat in peace should be a reasonable thing to want.

But even turning the other cheek, didn’t seem to be enough.

“Hey!” One of the sailors called out before you could get close enough to the door.

“Keep walking.” Raven just directed.

“Do you even know what the rest of the world looks like right now!?” He kept on, standing up as his voice only grew louder. “My Mom and my little brother were in San Francisco. Their goddamn apartment building collapsed!”

Peter was the first one to stop, looking back then.

You could hear the tone in the man’s voice change though, and in that moment you knew he was not going to attack anyone. But it almost made it worse that he didn’t as his voice broke, nearly pleading to you all. “I don’t even know if they’re alive, if they made it out or not. The phones won’t work...no one can get through.”

“We didn’t do that,” Raven spoke up as calmly as she could, looking back to him as well then. “I’m sorry.”

“But you know who did, don’t you!?” He countered. “It was him. Wasn’t it? The one from Washington D.C. that could move metal. And he got away. You let him get away!”

The men next to the sailor were trying to pull him back down to sitting now, trying to remind him something about orders, making you realize they must have been given a similar talk as you all had. Don’t cause trouble, don’t antagonize, keep the peace because you’d been told to.

Even with two food trays in hand, Hank was now trying to usher you all through the mess hall doors just as intently as the man’s friends were trying to make him stop as well.

But Peter just twisted right out of Hank’s reach in a blur, calling back suddenly then. “It was Magneto. I’m sure it was. But he’s gone, man. He ran.” Peter looked pained, but shook his head. “His family was killed...but that doesn’t mean he had any right to take it out on the world. I hope you find your family. I really do, and I’m sorry.”

With that Peter shoved through the doors, going on ahead of you all and not looking back. His frustration was palpable as the crutches limited him. If his leg hadn’t been broken you doubted any of you would have seen him leave at all. Like he too wanted to run away now, instead of having to face the painful reality that this was.

——————————

Nothing was said about the incident for quite some time as you’d all eaten quietly in the barracks. The food was plain, the simple kinds of things that could be made in bulk to feed a large crew on a ship like this. Macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, rice, and the like.

You were sitting on the floor eating while Peter was sitting on his bottom bunk, now just picking at the strawberry cake he’d most wanted with a fork. “This was definitely some pre-made frozen crap they just defrosted and put whip cream on.” He commented in dry disappointment.

“Yeah, I guess it’d be hard to keep fresh strawberries for long on a boat,” You replied, sipping one of the soft drinks you’d brought back. At least these were canned to still be carbonated well, but it wasn’t all that cold anymore.

He smirked. “I’d go crazy living on this thing out at sea. Not too many steps up from a prison cell really.”

Though you could imagine submarine life would be even worse, you didn’t think he was far off base. “It takes a special kind of person to enlist that’s for sure.”

“Yeah,” Peter agreed, going back to silence for a while as he dissected the cake idly.

You’d about finished all your food before he spoke to you again.

“What do you really think of him, (Y/N)?” Peter asked you in a somber tone then. “I mean, am I an idiot for trying to get to know him? My whole life I thought about what it would have been like if we’d had a real dad. If it wasn’t just Mom stressed the hell out all the time trying to keep us from getting evicted, or me from getting arrested honestly, or her worrying about Wanda being depressed so much. It’s like we were always broken. I had this idea if we’d just had that missing piece of a father, that everything would have been fixed. But then I finally meet him, finally find out who he really is, and he’s just as fucked up as anyone.”

You moved your tray to the side, considering your words carefully as you got up to go sit beside Peter on the edge of the bed. “You’re not an idiot.” That was the easiest point to make first. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know who your parents are.” But the rest, that was muddled and complicated.

“I mean, that was the first time I’ve actually ever met him in person. So I only know the stories really.” You continued. “I know the Professor thinks highly of him. They’ve always been close.”

“Xavier punched my dad right in the damn face the first time I saw them together.” Peter responded, turning his head to look at you directly. “Knocked him on his ass actually.”

You blinked. “Um, well...I have heard their relationship has had its rough patches too. They disagree on a lot of things as well. But they always seem to care about each other in the end, when it’s all said and done.”

Peter laid the last of the cake back down on the floor, before laying back down behind you in the bunk. “So you’re saying that’s what I have to look forward to? Alternating between wanting to kick his ass, and wanting him to stick around and have a relationship together?”

You could only be honest. “Not really what I was going for, but, I mean, that’s kind of Erik right?”

“But he’s killed people hasn’t he? How do I get past that?”

That was really the hardest question of all, wasn’t it? And now the one probably weighing on Peter’s mind the most after the interaction with that upset sailor in the mess hall.

“His sins aren’t your sins, Peter.” Was what you finally said, sighing and looking at your hands now in your lap. “Erik has lost so much too. His parents, your grandparents, I know they died at Auschwitz. The Professor told us that. And they experimented on Erik, tortured him to try and use his powers as a weapon. Erik ended up killing the man most responsible for that. But Xavier had tried to stop him anyway and ended up paralyzed for it. It was an accident though.”

You could feel Peter shift behind you, sitting up slightly in the bunk. It was most likely that he’d never heard any of this. You hated that it had to come secondhand from you. That you, this random mutant would know more about his own father’s history than himself.

But you continued. “And then what he told us in Egypt, about his wife and daughter....I mean, my God. Like you said, it doesn’t mean he can just go around hurting everyone else just because of what’s been done to him. But what would anyone else really do? How can we say where our own breaking points would be?” You weren’t trying to absolve him by any means, but how could you sit here and judge him either?

“Yeah,” Peter answered, sounding distant. “I mean, I tried not to think about it too much, everything was already so messed up. But I’ve got to tell Wanda all of this too at some point. And I don’t know how. We had a little sister, and she’s already gone. How do you...how do you even process that when you didn’t even get to meet them? How do you get closure?”

You heard him moving around like he was wiping at his face with his hands. You didn’t think he was crying, but maybe his eyes were trying to build up something that he wasn’t willing to allow yet.

“Can we just lay here for a bit?” He asked you after another moment.

“Sure,” You answered, laying back down in the bunk with him. This time you didn’t care if the others would pay any mind or not. He needed someone right now.

You were just laying the same way you’d slept last night with your back to his chest. But after a while you felt him tug at your side.

“Turn around,” He asked.

You did hesitate momentarily, knowing how much more personal that would be in the confines of the small bunk. But you allowed it, rolling over so that now you were nearly face to face, torsos touching as he wrapped his good leg over you before pulling up the blanket.

“Hey,” He smirked, seeming to cheer up at your awkward look. Your stomach flipped as you thought he was going in for a kiss, but he just ended up kissing your forehead once before pulling back.

Whatever expression you made then got a real laugh out of him.

“I was just going to tell you thank you.” He said teasingly, before leaning back in to whisper in your ear, “But you look kind of disappointed...did you want a little more?”

There was no question you were fully flustered now as you felt that heat rising in your face yet again. You’d have to make a mental note to apologize to Jean later if she was getting any of this broadcast to her. But then again, she did live in a house full of teenagers doing God knows what at any given time. Maybe she was already used to it. But you didn’t even want to think about Xavier possibly picking up on your current emotional panic either, that would be mortifying.

Sensing your spiraling distraction, Peter lightly touched one fingertip to the end of your nose. “Boop. Earth to (Y/N), have we lost signal? Overheated the engines already?”

You blinked. “That’s not funny.”

“Oh, it’s hilarious. And still waiting, dear. Always waiting...”

To be honest, when you finally kissed him, it was more just to wipe that smug look off his face. But on second thought, maybe that had been his plan all along. To taunt you into action. But it worked. It worked extremely well, as you’d both closed your eyes. His hand pressed into your back, making sure you stayed tight against him as you’d let it happen again and again. One kiss after another.

It’d been different too. The first ones back in Cairo had been so desperate more than anything, just a burst of emotion like a dying wish when neither of you had really expected to make it out of that desert.

While this now was far slower, much more thought behind each. It did make you forget everything else for those moments except the taste and feel of him.

But as much as you liked the sensations, you also knew you had to be the one to steer you both back out of it. When you felt his hand starting to move under your shirt, sliding up greedily across your bare skin, you realized he was already wanting more. And this wasn’t the place, not the time. Not yet at least. You weren’t immune to those feelings either, but it’d be much better if you waited. As much as you knew he hated waiting...

You’d pulled your lips away, but he then only moved to kissing your neck instead as you had to speak his name to try and call him back out of it. “Peter.”

“Mmm?” He responded after a moment, at least pausing, even though his lips were still touching against your throat.

You tugged his hair a little to try and get him to look back up at you.

He resisted slightly, not a lot, but you knew he was stalling as best he could before he finally relented. “Stop sign comes out huh?” He breathed, though not upset, just clearly having trouble coming out of the mood as his hand slid back out of your shirt to rest only on top of your clothes.

“Not exactly enough privacy here,” you responded quietly. Which was of course a huge understatement as the others were probably just out of earshot right now. If you were lucky anyway.

“It’s a big ship, babe. I’m sure we can find a place,” He joked, but only partially you were sure. As you really thought if you said the word right now, he’d make it his mission to find such a place immediately.

You toyed with his hair a little more, moving the messy silver strands out away from his eyes. “I think it’s getting to be pretty inevitable if you really want to know the truth.”

He leaned into the touch, just kissing your hand once more as your palm neared too close to his mouth. “You make it really tough either way, I’ll say that.”

You knew better than to lecture this one on the virtue of patience. But this was already the most physical you’d ever been with anyone as it was, and all so soon. Yet you knew it was only a matter of time. These new feelings were only growing. None of this would be fading any time soon.

You just laid your head back on his shoulder after a while, speaking to him, “Hey, after we’ve cooled down a bit more here, you want to see if anyone will allow us on the flight deck? It’d be nice to see the ocean at least before the sun goes back down. Get some fresh air.”

“Romantic stroll in the ocean breeze you say? Well maybe more a romantic hobble for me.” He chuckled dryly. “I’m game.”

——————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

[clarste]

Since it's been a few weeks, what's your opinion on Chapter 8 of Arknights? Reading about your opinion on other pieces of Arknights has been very nice so far.

I find this enemy description inordinately amusing so I will start with this before going to spoilers below the break.

1) First of all I am a sucker for flashbacks following the villain, so the basic structure of Chapter 8 was right up my alley. Even if Talulah's arc was more or less predictable—who among us did not expect Alina to die? I think some people might feel that it was a little too long, but honestly I think it said everything it needed to say and frankly there is nothing more important the chapter could have said. If anything, the parts that weren't about Talulah would be first on my chopping list if I were editing this story down. In particular, the whole bit with Kal'tsit and the sarcophagus and all that had almost nothing to do with the themes of this chapter or the Reunion arc, so they seemed especially superfluous. Even if that story might have been interesting told on its own.

2) Talulah. The main character of this chapter, obviously. I think there are two different angles to approach her from that seem almost mutually exclusive, which are that A) she is a tragic figure who started with noble ideals but was pushed to her limits until she became a ruthless shell of her former self and B) she is literally possessed by Kaschey, ie: the Deathless Black Snake, who is the immortal spirit of Imperialism manipulating the country of Ursus into a constant state of war. From what I've seen of people’s reactions, I think most people focus more on angle B, which makes sense because that is literally true in the story, but what I took from it is that it's a lot more ambiguous than that.

What I mean is that the story is constantly emphasizing that the Deathless Black Snake can only take action as long as Talulah agrees with it. It's more insidious than just an external ghost taking control of her (and thereby freeing her of responsibility for her actions), it's a philosophy that was planted in her by her mentor, a way of thinking, an idea. A living meme. So when I say that it's the immortal spirit of imperialism, I don't mean that as a joke, it is the embodiment of imperialism itself, of imperialist ideals and goals, manifested in this particular person the moment she starts seeing her enemies as obstacles to be eliminated instead of people with their own motivations. I certainly don't think that the trigger for the transformation was set arbitrarily, that's just Who She Needed To Be in order to buy into the ideas that Kaschey and the Snake had taught her from a young age. It’s also an ancient god taking physical control over her, but hey, it's fantasy.

Ultimately, we didn't defeat the Deathless Black Snake in battle, we just gave Talulah second thoughts. And she will live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

3) Amiya. In this chapter, more than anywhere else, it's clear that Amiya is the main character of Arknights. Sure, we have whatever Kal'tsit is plotting, and whatever the hell the Doctor is, but that doesn't actually matter. In fact, they spent this entire chapter walking around in the basement and never once interacting with Talulah. The Doctor shows up at the end with no idea what's going on or what happened, which is quite comical when you think about it.

By contrast, Amiya sees the big picture. Of the three people on top of the tower during the climax, only Amiya knows what both Talulah and Chen have been through, or indeed what she’s been though. What brought them all to that point. She is watching all these flashbacks right alongside us through her empathy powers. Which, as I've mentioned before, is really the best superpower in this setting: the power to see the world through someone else's eyes, and to feel the pain that drives them. And we, the players, feel what she feels. In a certain sense, she's even more of a player avatar here than even the Doctor, which I mean in the best possible way.

And of course her empathy gives her cool shounen superpowers that are suspiciously similar to Emiya Shirou, but I will allow it.

4) Chen. Chen is honestly kind of the weak link here, imo. While of course we've been following her character arc since chapter 3 and I don't mind where they've taken her, it ironically kind of felt to me like she had no personal stakes in the final battle. Which is odd since the story seemed to be hammering that it's all personal for her, what with Talulah being her long-lost sister and all that. The problem (imo) is that her close relationship with Talulah is all Told-Not-Shown, and also that Talulah is being possessed by the Deathless Black Snake, so it kind of feels like she's being left out of the loop, both in terms of knowing the facts and also emotionally.

I'm not saying she doesn't get any good lines, or that her banter with Amiya isn't cool or funny, I'm just saying that what should have been a big emotional moment at the climax of the story just sort of fell flat for me, and I was left wondering "wait, why is Chen here again?"

That said, I did enjoy her bit afterward where she's like "you need to stand fair trial for your crimes, Talulah, but in this world that discriminates against the Infected, there’s nowhere worthy of giving you one." I feel that sums up the game's stance on these things quite succinctly.

5) Rosmontis. Rosmontis had sort of an interesting arc here because it separated her from Amiya and I almost want to say that was a good thing? While I thought her relationship to Amiya was one of the most interesting things about her in the previous chapter, it almost feels like it was preventing her from forming bonds with other people and becoming a more well-rounded person? I guess what I want to say that is that Rosmontis was being coddled, sheltered, treated as a child. While some would call her a monster, Amiya was always around to say "no no no, don't listen to them, you're cute!" And while that was certainly nice of Amiya, it feels like what truly made her accept herself was almost the opposite: being accepted as a monster (or rather, a person with monstrous powers) by people used to fighting alongside monsters. Being told that she's allowed to hate the people who hurt her, and to be ruthless to her enemies. That her own emotions, both good or bad, are valid. For the first time, she felt human.

What you'll note, of course, is that these aren't exactly heroic virtues, and in fact they're kind of similar to what Amiya rejects and what got Talulah into so much trouble? Honestly I don't know if I would say Rosmontis is a good person right now, but what she is doing is thinking on her own for the first time, and deciding what's right and wrong for herself. It sounds almost malicious to put it this way, but it's like Amiya and Rhodes Island were trying to mold her into someone she's not. In some ways the opposite of what Kaschey did to Talulah.

I don't think her story is over yet, of course, but I found it an interesting direction to take. Rosmontis is on the path to find her own justice, which may or may not align with Rhodes Island's.

Also, kitty:

6) W. Back when I was doing a write-up for chapter 7, I said that maybe she would have been better off being recruitable in chapter 8 instead of 7, because it seemed a little early in her arc for that. I was wrong. She wouldn't fit in for chapter 8 either. Honestly she probably shouldn't be recruitable at all right now, not that I'm complaining as someone who uses her. Just, you know, narratively she is not at a place where she would consider joining RI, and in fact she ends the chapter pretty much going "later losers, I hope we never meet again." Which implies that the W in my squad right now is like a totally different person who is either from an alternate dimension or the future, after a lot of character development. That's not like the worst thing ever, it just seems a little weird to have her right now. W's story isn't about Reunion and never was. It's about Theresa and Babel, which as of now we are still only getting little hints of. I'd be glad to see that story when it happens, but until then W's just kind of there.

7) Themes. For some reason, this one line in this chapter really hit me. While it's not literally true, especially if you count all the former child slaves or feral children and whatnot, it does feel broadly true that most of the characters come from middle-class backgrounds. Like, your Krooses and Orchids of the world. Kal'tsit goes on to explain that this is because RI can only really recruit in cities, and that rural Infected tend to get thrown into the wilderness on their own and have no idea that RI exists.

Interestingly, this idea also sort of comes up in Talalah's side, when it's revealed that Talulah is the daughter of a duke, making her followers hesitate for a moment. While I don't recall it being explicitly spelled out, the implication was obviously that she's not "one of them" and this might be a cause for distrust. But what are "they' exactly? Clearly she is in fact Infected, she made sure of that herself. But she wasn't abandoned in the same way her followers were. She had a choice, and chose to side with the Infected. Which is honorable of her and all, but it also indicates a fundamental disconnect between them because they never had a choice. She could've used her influence to hide her oripathy and be treated like a normal person (as we saw happened with both Chen and Patriot), or used her wealth to get sent to a fancy private hospital like Rhodes Island, with the latest medical technology and treatments.

So while the story focuses on the discrimination of the Infected, it's clear here that that's not really the only thing going on. Being Infected means little to those in power, while for those without power it's just an an excuse to intrude on their lives and make sure they aren't "harboring any Infected" or whatever. Basically the story starts discussing intersectionality, which I found interesting.

8) This is a good line:

[chibimyumi]

Autopsy of Weston Arc

A few days ago I visited a beloved friend @sweetbunny8, and we were bitching about the Boarding School Arc together. That friend is so incredibly smart, she brought up amazing points I never thought about... and so we spent the afternoon facepalming, discussing how many missed potentials there were. The below are the 5 points we talked about, on FIRE🔥🔥🔥!

1. The Arc owes us a thorough Power Dynamic Swap

I think the biggest draw of Kuroshitsuji is the unusual power dynamic between our protagonists. It would have been amazing to see a thoroughly explored power dynamic swap between master and servant.

The manga did touch upon this swap, and it gave us a delicious appetiser of what this Arc could have been. I really would love loved to see more of how Sebas and O!Ciel would deal with their cognitive dissonance of role.

Our Ciel

O!Ciel was raised in a world where the roles of servant vs master are very distinct. To O!Ciel it must have been very weird to now suddenly be subordinate to his servant. I would have loved to see if O!Ciel found it uncomfortable, or just really fun to try something new without stakes, or how his habits would slip through. In the Circus Arc we saw very clearly how both Sebas and O!Ciel still succumbed to their habits, thereby accidentally drawing unwanted attention.

Doing so in the Weston Arc would not have been a carbon copy of the Circus Arc, because unlike at the circus now O!Ciel would be performing in a more familiar environment with people of comparable status. I really wish we could have seen more of that.

Sebastian

Sebas would also have been a blast to see in a likely unprecedented role for him. In this post I argued how Sebas was probably never given opportunity to interact for real with humans on close proximity, and how he was probably not ever considered more than a mass-destruction weapon. It would have been very interesting to see how Sebas would handle suddenly being surrounded by people who don’t just interact, but are also subordinate to him as a teacher!

I find it unlikely Sebas ever had the experience of playing a superiour role to his own master. Sebas loves testing his limits with his master, and it would have been a blessing to see how Sebas could now “legally” exploit his own position of power over his master. I’m sure he would have gotten a kink out of it.

2. Planning and Calculation???

It would have been logical and responsible if the Queen just told her Watchdog what House Derek was in for O!Ciel to investigate. A “P.S. He’s in Red House according to the latest information btw, loves - Vicky” would not be too much asked. She knows Derek’s parents, and I can’t imagine the March of Arden being secretive about what House the kid is in. But even if Victoria didn’t do the efficient thing, we still would have loved it if O!Ciel had to discuss with Sebas and strategically choose a House to get into, rather than him just being planted in Blue House.

My friend thought O!Ciel would have chosen Red House regardless of whether he knew for sure where he’d be, because as the nephew of the Queen, Derek being in Red was the most logical. As an actual Lorded Earl himself, O!Ciel would have a decent chance holding down a position in Red House. And considering how Redmond has a talent for choosing awful personalities for fag, O!Ciel would have fit in perfectly too!

Then O!Ciel’s goal could still have been to become a prefect’s fag, but then the showdown with Maurice would at least have direct, immediate conflict, rather than... whatever it was the manga did. Maurice had NO reason to neutralise O!Ciel as long as they’re in different Houses! Maurice you... boring, inefficient, redundant twat...

3. Yana... is Edward a joke to you?

Why didn’t O!Ciel/Yana capitalise more on Edward being at Weston?! It would have been a perfect chance to develop Edward further and show O!Ciel’s interaction with family! I love Lizzie, but it would have been amazing to see Edward interacting with our protagonist without his sister being the reason for interaction. UGH 💔

Also, the cricket drag could have been shortened dramatically if O!Ciel had thought of using Edward. Edward has been at the Weston for longer, and he is a prefect’s fag to boot.

Sure, O!Ciel didn’t know that at first, but he finds out BEFORE the cricket was set up. The moment O!Ciel would learn that he’d need to win cricket to meet the principal, he should have gambled on Edward. If O!Ciel explained to Edward that he is investigating the disappearance of the Queen’s relative, I can’t imagine Edward not being willing to help by winning cricket in becoming “the chosen one” through gentlemanly play. That’d be what Edward would be aspiring to become, anyway.

4. Why Cricket ANYWAY!?

Even IF Edward for some reason refused to help, the cricket would still entirely have been unnecessary. It wouldn’t matter at all who would win, because as the prefect’s fag, Edward had the privilege to attend the Midnight Tea Party ANYWAY. All four prefect fags are present, as we all can see. O!Ciel would only have needed to ask Edward to act as his agent, and tadaaa.

Besides, even IF Edward didn’t exist in the arc it’d still be entirely fine, because all the prefects would SURELY have access to the Party. That is known. O!Ciel only needed to tell Sebas to keep an eye on where the definitive participants would be going, and track them. When push comes to shove, Sebas could just barge in like he did anyway (and bring O!Ciel even if he’s uninvited), and the case would still have unfolded the way it did.

5. PLOT HOLE!?

My friend also brought up a humongous plot hole so large it became a space on its own that I didn’t even notice it was a hole. Why did the prefects react so differently to Agares and Derek being “alive” respectively?

So, my friend and I both watched the musical adaptation as the last thing, and in the musical the prefects were all being totally chill about Agares being around, but shocked shitless to see Derek back. All four prefects were present during the killing of Derek AND Agares, so they should all know both are dead. It had not been addressed in the musical that the prefects have knowledge of corpse reanimation, so they shouldn’t have been able to act so normal next to Agares, but freak out about seeing Derek. (This is yet another example of WHO IS YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE, KUROMY21!?)

In the manga it had been addressed that the prefects have knowledge that reanimation of the dead is possible. And it seems like Redmond arranged for the reanimation of at least Agares. But why didn’t they arrange for the reanimation of Derek too? (@chibmib​ Thanks sis, for checking this for me so I didn’t have to suffer through it again)

Derek is the Queen’s relative, his disappearance would really have invited suspicion, as it indeed did. The reason the P4 didn’t arrange for Derek’s reanimation can’t be because the they considered Derek too evil to bring back. Agares was namely arguably worse; he was an adult and the vice-principal! It was his literal job to be responsible.

The P4 couldn’t have decided to not reanimate Derek for fear of him ratting them out for assault. There are plenty witnesses of Derek’s crimes, and the P4 would be first-hand witnesses too of Derek’s lying. If Derek told the authorities he was assaulted, all witnesses could have helped testify for the P4 against Derek.

The only reason I can make sense of the double standard in the P4′s reaction is that Undertaker told the P4 he only succeeded in reanimating Agares and not Derek, because the technology is still very young; which would have been true too. BUT THEN THE MANGA SHOULD HAVE ADDRESSED IT.

Even if that’s what happened though, the P4′s reaction shouldn’t have been such horrified surprise. They should be relieved to see the Queen’s relative alive, because then they wouldn’t have ‘murder of Queen’s relative’ on their résumé. All they had to do instead then is explain why they attacked Derek in a moment of lost control at the sight of a future-prefect being a lowlife. And again, the victims could have helped testify...

And this all would only have happened if we momentarily accept the unlikeliness of Sebas coincidentally having a plugged nose and not smelling Agares’ corpse stench the entire Arc.

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Morning! I hope you don't mind if i give you yet another She-Ra thought I'm too damn lazy to post on my own. Also, it's long again. I WILL find that character limit some day.

So, we know the way Shadow Weaver raised Adora resulted, among other issues, in her being selfless to the point of self-sacrifice, which came to a climax in the Heart's failsafe business.

And it's been suggested that this was basically intentional on Shadow Weaver's part. Basically, selflessness is a very beneficial quality for others to have. My theory is that <b>her plan for Adora had always been specifically for her to someday use the failsafe and release all magic</b>.

(i will admit i am also curious how formatting works in this app. thank you for your help with these experiments)

So, evidence. Let's start with her name. I know this is a remake and they were stuck with the existing names, but there's a scene where Scorpia complains about it ("yeah i GET it, everyone LOVES you"), which constitutes the writers acknowledging its meaning, which makes me think it's fair game to analyze.

First, I'm obviously assuming Shadow Weaver choose it, as part of her ongoing parenting plan. It's also possible it was her original First One-given name, we don't know. Neither quite works because either she or Light Hope should have had some issues knowing what the name was and they clearly knew automatically. Really the entire series is weird in that everyone communicates with everyone else way too easily, and i will definitely rant about that someday.

For now let it stand that Shadow Weaver is the parent figure, it makes the most sense for her to pick the name, both in-universe and narratively, so i shall assume so by default. I have two things to say about that choice.

First, as we all have noticed, most of the princesses have names ending in -a. All of them, if you count "Glimma". It's never said to be intentional, but it would make sense. And then IF such a tradition exists among Etheria's royalty, it's not unreasonable for Shadow Weaver, a notable and moderately respected member of the land of knowledge, to know about it.

And then if she knew, of course she would take it into consideration when looking for names. Admittedly it's a little weird with the anti-Princess propaganda that the Horde has, but she doesn't really need to explain or justify this. Hordak has a very [i]laissez-faire[/i] attitude, and everyone else she clearly doesn't care about.

And if she knew or suspected that the princesses' powers were related to the Heart of Etheria, which i will argue for later, then giving her a princessy name is also adequately ironic.

The second name bit is that Scorpia clearly knows some Latin, but not enough. True, <em>adorare</em> means to worship and/or to love, but Latin verbs are more complex than that. _Adora_ specifically is 3rd person singular present indicative active. The translation would be "she loves".

Names aside, i want to talk about how they (we) learned about the Heart of Etheria. Castaspella doesn't know what to do, Shadow Weaver suggests they take a road trip to research, which she's reticent about but concedes is probably the best use of her time, and they find success. We don't know how long it took them, but i had the distinct impression that it wasn't very long.

Naturally, I'm suggesting Shadow Weaver knew all along, and led Castaspella on the trip to have an excuse for the inevitable "how do you know?". Also tricked her into thinking it was /her/ discovery, and maybe even that she was succeeding where Shadow Weaver had failed before, if necessary.

That's why she's so excited to share their results with everybody, and Shadow Weaver cuts her off, apparently just to antagonize her for fun, but I'm suggesting it was also because for her this is the culmination of a decades-long plan, and she wants to Get On With It.

It's also interesting that there was a mural depicting the Spell of Obtainment in the hallway leading to the failsafe. It was a reminder of Shadow Weaver's past, and an opportunity for her to show she regrets her results but doesn't repent from her choices, which i quite like actually. But I'm also saying that, meta-textually, it was a signal that she'd been there before, literally.

And then there is the potential in-universe connection, since we don't know what exactly the spell was meant to be obtaining. Power, for sure, and from what happened we're probably meant to assume it's tapping into some sort of demonic entity or dimension.

Fair enough, except that it never comes up again. And it's kind of a big plot point that Etheria is isolated from the rest of the cosmos, which may or may not conflict with it having a contactable "hell". Meanwhile there's the Heart of Etheria Project collecting all that magic, which Mara's allies (and their descendants) would know something about, have access to at least one backdoor to, and may well have tried to tap into its power at some point.

And then what went wrong may well be one of the defense mechanisms of the Project, though I'm admittedly veering into unfounded speculation.

So, a rough timeline. Light Spinner was always motivated to excel and craved power. She was probably always envied the princesses, who command greater magic than most sorcerers with apparently none of the study and practice.

She took to researching everything she could that might lead to power, eventually discovering the chamber with the failsafe, and presumably other information left by Mara's Friends, either in other chambers or in documents she's since removed. She would have learned a lot of things from this.

As i suggested, i believe she knew there's some connection between the princesses at large and the Heart of Etheria. Incidentally, i don't know exactly what that connection is, and in particular whether princesses were created by the Project or an existing phenomenon that the First Ones co-opted. But it doesn't matter, exactly.

What's important is that there's clearly a connection, more specifically a control system for the princesses and their magic, which is presumably related to how Shadow Weaver was able to tap into the Black Garnet's power. With Hordak's help, obviously, since she clearly believed it when he claimed he could cut her off at will, but he's later shown to have basically no understanding of First Ones' tech, so the knowledge must have come from her.

For the record, i would guess she thinks princesses are artificial, empowered both magically and politically to keep the planet in check, and that they would be depowered once the failsafe was fired. I also think that may be true, actually, since it almost happened when Entrapta was messing with the system, and if i recall none of them were shown to use any magic after Adora did fire it, while she clearly used Perfuma's power. But anyways!

Back to what Shadow Weaver learned, she would know some of what the failsafe does, namely disrupt the system that's hoarding most of the planet's magic, thereby spreading magic to all (most notably her), and some of how to use it, and the fact that she couldn't do so and hope to live, and some of the criteria for who can. That part is important.

But first, she also learned the Spell of Obtainment, deemed it more likely but didn't think she could do it herself, despaired of getting help until she thought Hordak's rise to fame would give her #casus belli#, lost her patience when the Mystacor leadership disagreed, etc etc etc. Pretty uncontroversial in this part, i think.

After she'd joined the Horde, when Hordak showed up with baby Adora and wanted to lump her with the rest of the orphans they have, Shadow Weaver pleaded to have her get special treatment. She even said that she's special, and it couldn't have been her leadership skills or good heart, since she didn't have either yet. It's heavily implied she could recognize her as a First One, but it's not clear why she would care, since they were known for leaving behind advanced technology, which a baby also doesn't have. Unless, of course, she knew there are devices only a First One could use, and maybe has plans related to that.

So I'm pretty sure she learned the criteria that the failsafe requires, devised some spell or technique to check people for them that she pretty much used all the time, just in case, and was very surprised when a newborn tested positive. She was also surprised when Hordak made her personally responsible for the raising of the kid, but her reaction is pretty much "ok, that could work, i guess".

Also also, i suspect she can read First One script. Not perfectly like Adora, but better than Bow's parents probably. Mostly because when she puts Adora's hand on the crystal and says "i think you know the password", that seems like a very transparent attempt to pretend she knows it too when she doesn't. But that seems irresponsible at such a crucial moment, she and Castaspella should really have researched it earlier. Or at least her line there should have been "you can read this, right?" or somesuch.

So I'm thinking it's a double bluff, hoping everybody assumes she doesn't know so she doesn't have to reveal how and why she knows, again.

And that's all i have, i think? This is not nearly as well laid out as i would like. But then, nothing ever is, right?

Also it's not even close to morning anymore. Thank you if you even got this far, and have a good evening!

hi!!! this took me a while to answer, i'm so sorry about that <3

i'm very low on energy today so i cannot summon up the brain energy to respond properly to this, as much as i want to, i'm really sorry for that as well

i love this theory!! it actually fits in really well with canon and makes, like, a LOT of sense now that i think about it. i definitely wouldn't have thought of this on my own, so thank you for sharing this with me!! :D

[thesagedahlia]

Aries SZN. ♌

📝

you have been needing to have some rest after a time of bringing things to an end that wasn't serving your highest purpose. this time may be finding you taking a more serious interest/pursuit in what you are meant to create. with endless possibilities you are ready to take certain steps that will solidify your foundations in different areas in your life. whether starting a business, making a move (moving homes or taking concrete steps) or saving up time/resources for this, or putting thoughts into action when it comes to creating, the drive to do so will be present this season, but it may also call you to shift your mindset/focus to what is going to benefit you. if you are feeding doubtful thoughts, that's where you start; by putting more general faith in your own abilities. try to refrain from working against the struggle of being still & patient, because intuition can be your greatest weapon at this time. it may also benefit you to get a second opinion from someone who has done what you're trying to do. the decisions you make will be based off of what you value at this time, as you strive for more peace on your journey. take serious to what you allow into your energetic body at this time & take the time to be present through the chaos of the storming shifts because it will help you to realize what your want to bring with you moving forward & what you are guided to leave behind.

💌

♀️: she is needing to establish her values as she is taking back the power in her reactions/decisions & only investing in what is going to be fulfilling to her as well as stable. she wants to end cycles of missing opportunities because she could manage to let certain people or mental patterns to hold her back from her true potential. she has been guided to listen to her intuition more this past zodiacal year & she is now taking what she has an inner knowing of & allowing her blessings to present themselves to her; she doesn't have to go searching for them because they are going to come & find her. she should be guided to rest in her knowing at this time. even without direction, faith is important.

♂️: he is coming to terms with what it is that he desires, even if it doesn't feel like a safe option at this time. he is needing to look into his grief regarding partnerships/alliances & what causes him to lack trust in people that may be close to him at this time. he may need to take a hard look at those who try to insert themselves into his life so much, these may be the very people living vicariously through him, thereby suggesting he go down route not meant for him. if he is pay this attention, then he will see this for what is, & he is being guided to only focus on connection that are pushing him toward his purpose & to release from the ones that continuously create conflict/strife for him & his growth/expansion.

*this reading is intended for Leo placements (big 6 especially venus&mars) & is intended to entertainment purposes only, we all have masculine & feminine energy; pronouns being used to refer to energy rather than gender, take what resonates, leave the rest*