#They can't see the image in your head you foolish fool

[yuujispinkhair]

Sukuna gave up on love years ago. But somehow, your eyes and your smile are all he can think about. -> This is part of my Blog Anniversary Event. A sweet anon requested the song "Lovebug" by the Jonas Brothers.

Pairing: Modern!CEO Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff Word Count: 700 Warnings: Mentions of alcohol. Sukuna and Reader meet as business partners, and feelings spark between them. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact.

God, it's ridiculous!

Sukuna slams his vodka glass down on his desk, laughing and shaking his head. He isn't a sentimental person. He isn't one of those fools who let their emotions get the better of them. He knows love is more trouble than anything else, and he isn't chasing it anymore. He decided years ago to stop doing that. No, Sukuna hasn't been looking for love for a long time.

And yet, all it took was one business phone call followed by an afternoon and a dinner spent with you, and now he can't stop this weird feeling from spreading through his chest. He sees your smile even when he closes his eyes. He still smells your perfume even though it can't linger on his skin after such a short moment of holding your hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss it.

It is highly ridiculous. And irresponsible. And foolish.

He swore off love. Swore off everything that could tear down his walls. And he is good at this, brilliant even. No one can see beneath Itadori Sukuna's mask of arrogance and indifference!

And yet your eyes looked at him with that knowing look. As if you could see right through him. As if you knew.

You treated him differently than the others. Your eyes didn't stray to his expensive watch or his car keys. You didn't order the most expensive meal off the menu when he said he would pay. You didn't act mysterious or slutty or any of those other things the others did, who were always so calculating, so desperately trying to fit into the image of the perfect doll, not realizing that it only made them seem fake.

There is nothing fake about you. You didn't hold back your laughter during dinner. You didn't worry about smearing your lipstick while eating. Your makeup was light, and the eyeliner applied a bit crookedly. It made his heart do a flip somehow. You didn't shy away from sharing a huge dessert with him, smiling and rolling your eyes in pleasure at how delicious it tasted. He had chuckled in genuine amusement and joy when you pushed a spoonful of ice cream towards him, telling him he simply had to try it.

So light. That's it. He feels so light when he is around you. It's as if all the small and big stresses of his busy CEO life just vanished into thin air, and instead, the sun is shining on him, and he can breathe in clear, fresh air.

He catches himself smiling as he thinks of how you snorted with laughter about one of his dry comments. Usually, none of those women laugh about his humor. And it's not just that you think he is funny. You replied with the same humor, making him laugh too.

He sighs and turns off his computer. It's late at night. Time to go home and get some rest. But not before he grabs his phone and types a quick message to you, thanking you for the lovely evening and wishing you a good night. He only hesitates for a small moment before he adds, "I would like to see you again. I know a place with even better dessert variations for two."

He is surprised by the smile he spots on his face in the mirrored walls of the elevator when he receives your reply, telling him that you would love to share a dessert with him again.

A catchy love song starts playing on his drive home. The type of song that Sukuna usually finds annoying and which would lead to him changing the radio station. But not tonight. Tonight, he lets it play, and maybe he hums a bit in tune with the melody. Maybe he feels a little fluttery sensation when hearing the lyrics about freshly found love.

Maybe all he can think of are your eyes and your smile and how good it felt to sit there with you and talk and laugh and not even realize how many hours had already slipped by, so caught up in his conversation with you. So caught up in your eyes.

He isn't someone who catches feelings easily. He thought for a long time that he had managed to become immune to all of this.

But does a man who is immune to falling in love hum along to a stupid catchy lovesong? Does a man who gave up on love smile to himself while he pictures your laugh?

Maybe the lovebug bit him after all. And maybe he is glad it did

Thank you so much for participating in my event! I hope you enjoyed this little story!! I am swooning so much thinking about spending a flirty business dinner with CEO Sukuna aww!!

Comments and reblogs would be sweet!!

[blackjackkent]

Camp scene with Lae'zel was sweet enough as far as it goes:

"It is not in a githyanki's nature to say 'thank you'. Our language doesn't even have a phrase for it. Chraith'kan zharn is the closest equivalent I know - 'May your enemies know agony.' But after releasing me from Orin's grip, there is only one proper response: Thank you. Sincerely."

"You're welcome."

"Ah, hm. Well. Good then. Let's carry on."

It was kind of cute - she approved and got a little bit flustered and awkward about it. But - realistically, the game can't offer me an actual scene that matches my specific Hector headcanons.

And I think there's a far more interesting way this reunion could play out. >:)

-----

There's a flicker of some magic dispelled as Hector unlocks the chains binding her to the altar; in a flash, Lae'zel's eyes are open and she is up off the stone, rocketing backwards away from him and the others. Gauging the situation in a quick sweep of her eyes, she comes up with a sword off the body of one of the dead cultists and has it up in both hands, warding off an attack that does not come.

Hector goes utterly still, both hands spread at his sides.

Silence. She stares at him with a baffled, hunted look; the point of the sword trembles minutely, then steadies as she redoubles her grip. "Hector?" she rasps.

He nods slowly. "It's me. It's all right--"

Even barely conscious, she moves like lightning - a sudden dart forward this time. He's weakened from the fight with Orin and not expecting the blow, which cuffs the hilt of the sword across his jaw with an impact that makes his ears ring. Her free hand grabs him by the collar and pulls him in a throw he's almost certain she learned from watching him fight; the momentum flips him up and over her hip and lands him in her place on the altar.

She kneels over him, the blade at his throat, her eyes full of blind rage and tortured pain.

"Is it not enough?" she snarls. "Is it not enough that you have tormented me, all these days, that you now appear before me wearing his face? Do you think me such a fool?" The cold metal presses over his jugular. "It is you who are foolish, Orin, to open my chains and think I would stay my hand on a mere pretense."

"Stop--" he hears Karlach shout.

"Stay back, doppelganger," Lae'zel barks without looking up. "One further step and I shall sever your queen's head from her body." She leans forward; Hector can feel the heat of her breath on his cheek as she hisses in his face.

"Cease your blaspheming of my friend's image, shka'keth. I would see your true eyes before I open your throat."

"Lae'zel--" he gasps out. "It's me! Orin's dead! It's me-- I promise you--"

She freezes. Her head draws back; the pressure of the blade eases just slightly. "So many days I have waited," she mutters. "I swore to myself I would not be weak when the moment came..."

"It's me." Hector's eyes flick wildly around the room as he grasps for some way to prove it. "You-- we met on the nautiloid. You thought I was a thrall. We escaped, we crashed... we found you in a cage with the tieflings... Shadowheart didn't let you forget it for weeks..." His breath catches on a slight, hysterical laugh without any humor. "The creche... you took me there, we saw through Vlaakith's lies together... we traveled in the shadows and you told me of the light of the Astral Sea..."

He feels, to his shame, that his voice is starting to shake, to crack-- the battle exhausted all his control and he barely has the strength to think, and seeing her staring at him with such fury, after all he has done to try and reach her, feels like a last brutal blow struck by Orin from beyond the veil.

"Ch'mar zal'a Orpheus," he mutters shakily, parroting the words he has heard her mutter in camp. "You opened your mind to me when you made your choice to turn away from Vlaakith... you trusted me then, please trust me now..."

She draws a sharp breath in; her eyes narrow. His words are breaking through the haze, bit by bit, a little of the mad rage starting to fade. Her head jerks and he feels the familiar prod of the tadpole connection in his mind, his parasite squirming in answer to hers. For the first time he can recall, he is desperately grateful for that connection, for the proof it offers.

Images begin to flash between them, a thousand upon a thousand memories of their shared struggle. He groans, his eyes rolling back in his head. "You almost broke my jaw, that night in camp, and said perhaps our pain would bleed out of our wounds..." he whispers. "It hasn't yet, but I have hope... put the blade down, Lae'zel, please... it's me..."

She draws back. The sword slips from her fingers, clattering onto the stone next to the altar.

"Kaincha..." she mutters. "You speak truth..."

He sits up slowly, rubbing involuntarily at his neck where the blade pressed. "Have I ever lied to you?" he asks softly.

Her shoulders are rigid, her whole body taut, and he can see that every bit of her strength is going into preventing her from trembling. "She came in so many faces. Every one familiar. Every one a mockery. I came to doubt my own eyes..."

"It's all right," he answers gently. "It's done with now."

He's dimly aware that Karlach has come up next to him, that one of her hands is resting on his shoulder, that she is bent forward on the balls of her feet in a protective aspect, ready to strike should Lae'zel show any further sign of violence. But the fight has gone out of the githyanki warrior now; with the moment of adrenaline gone, she looks beaten and exhausted. Ashamed.

He considers a moment, then deliberately pitches his voice a little slower - a sharper snap, like those he heard from the githyanki at Y'llek.

"The way out is clear," he tells her firmly. "Go back to camp. Rest. We'll talk when I return."

She blinks - and he sees a flash of something like relief through her eyes at having an order to follow. "Yes," she agrees with a crisp nod, standing at once. "I will wait there." She turns, looks around the bloody atrium as if fully registering it for the first time.

A slight pause, and then she adds, "I should offer my gratitude. But there are no words with which I was trained to express it. You came through fire for me, and I answered you with a blade."

"Thank you is enough," Hector says; a slight smile tugs at his lips.

She snorts softly. "Hm. Thank you, then," she mutters. "It is... insufficient, as is much in your barbaric tongue. But it will do for now."

Without another word, she stalks up the gore-slicked stairs towards the sewers.

They all watch her go, and then Hector groans softly and lets himself fall back to lie on the altar again, staring up at the vaulted ceiling. Karlach's face drifts into view as she leans over him.

"Same old Lae'zel, eh?" she says dryly. "Gods, I'd give her a thrashing for threatening you like that, if I wasn't so glad to see her."

"She was afraid," Hector says absently. "And I don't blame her for it."

Jaheira sits down on the edge of the altar with a weary sigh. "There are none of us, I think, who have not done something foolish in the name of fear." A smile flickers across her face. "That said, had she injured you, we would have made her feel it."

He shakes his head. "It's all right," he says firmly. "The Chosen are dead, finally, and we've stood against all their machinations; the last thing we need is to start tearing ourselves apart now. She's back with us. That's enough."

[maguro13-2]

The Dark Picture ~ Origins of the Ink Demon : Operation Drawcia Pt. 21 ~

Neoshadow : (voiced by Tony Sampson) No! This can't be! I will never be defeated. I am immortal, I have infinite power! How can I lose to a bunch of metal heads that has such power!?

Winry : So...Now do you believe me? Yeah, I figured. So that was the deal of yours, huh? You made me realize that hurting a human would be more difficult because you guys are responsible for making us the monsters and it's you.

Neoshadow : So what? That Metal Boy's life is already screwed. Some say that his friendship towards Maka is no surprise and I bet he wouldn't even noticed that the real one is off somewhere! Let me help you out with this one. I've set a detonating device that will blow this place into smithereens and when it set off to zero, this whole place is done for and there is nothing you could do about it! Mark my words, Fullmetal Mechanic! My heartless brethren will supplant every human being on the planet including the witches their selves and there is nothing that you could see the light of day! We heartless will rule the night forever and dark skies shall make you cry with your troubled fates! (laughs)

*SUBALUWA+Strong Hit*

Neoshadow : Ough!

Lan Fan : Less laughing, more talking! Where do you think that Maka Albarn went off to?

Neoshadow : Haven't you figured it out yet? She went off on her own with that punk kid named Crona who is a killing machine made by Sammy Lawrence, the masked figure who thought to be dead is the the responisble for creation of the enslaved kid to the banished half herself, Medusa Gorgon!

Winry : Sammy Lawrence...?

Lan Fan : And the banished half of Medusa Gorgon. Wait a second...So Crona's family..."

*images flashing*

Sammy Lawrence : (laughs evilly)

Lan Fan : That masked man from Brooklyn New York! He fooled us all for having a kid that is an experimental weapon! What was Maka Albarn thinking of befriending an enforced kid who is a pawn to these guys? And more importantly, there is a bomb that is going to blow up this city! We better find it now!

[Time For Kill (Chapter 6 Theme) - Hidenori Shoji]

Winry : Let's hurry and find that bomb!

Lan Fan : Right! (The two runs off)

Neoshadow : You can run but you can't hide from us, Heartless! We heartless will live forever! (gives his last maniacal laugh before vanishing)

Winry : *panting* Didn't really thought of this, but why on earth would she befriend a kid who's body is filled with Ink!?

Lan Fan : The answer...We think of that we never been fooled that easily! That's why Maka Albarn was so clever of not knowing who or what is Sammy Lawrence. He's that guy from the 20th Century!

Winry : Wait, so that's what this is about? Sammy Lawrence created Crona for the Heartless in 1994 just to destroy Shinra's Legacy, for Medusa Gorgon!?

Lan Fan : No doubt about that, can't believe a villainous psycho like her is wanting this planet dead and if Maka Albarn doesn't stop this foolishness from Shinra Kusakabe himself, we're done for! So let's find the bomb and end this quickly!

Winry : Got it!

Mei Chang : Hey, guys! Sorry for the delay!

Lan Fan : What took ya so long?

Mei Chang : Had to rush Mr.Sandbag back to Nintendo at Kyoto, but it's a good thing that I made it fast to get there!

Lan Fan : How did you get you back here so quickly?

Mei Chang : Easy! I had to take with one their warp stars as transportation. (she is shown riding on a warp star)

Lan Fan : Mei Chang, I don't know how to say this, but...You are a friggin' genius!

Mei Chang : Hop on, guys! (Winry and Lan fan rides on the warp star) This is gonna be a bumpy ride!

[Radar (Pandemonium) -Norihiko Hibino]

Lan Fan : Wow! I can see a view down here and hey, I can finally show where my house is at.

Mei Chang : No time for sight seeing, you should be looking out on the bomb that is going to blow up the city.

Winry : Okay. (uses a radar) There should be a bomb somewhere around the city, it has to be somewhere. I'm hoping that I installed this device that will track any suspicious things that are located. With this baby reaching a maxed out point, it'll definitely knows where to pick up.

Lan Fan : You are smart thinker for crafting steampunk craftsmanship.

Mei Chang : Hurry, Winry! Just find the bomb and we'll get rid of into the ocean!

*RADAR BEEPING RAPIDLY*

Winry : Bingo! I found the bomb! Now let's find it and...(the warpstar suddenly descends directly towards the rooftop)

All : WOAAAAAAAAH!!

*KABOOM!*

Winry : Alright! I gotta disarm the bomb and look for it! Spread out and look for it!

"10 mintues of searching the bomb later..."

Winry : Darn! Where could that bomb be?

Lan Fan : I found somebody!

Poppy Bros. Sr. : Help! Someone help me! Help!

Winry : Quickly! This is way!

*ZOOM!*

Mei Chang : What the-!?

Poppy Bros Sr. : Hey, would you help me! Those shadow creatures just tied me up to this to this chair right next to this bomb! I told them that I would give them a bomb sandwich, but I did. So they borrowed kirby's savaged line to shove words into my face and set up a bomb over here! Which is where...I AM SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO IT AND I'M ABOUT TO BLOWN UP INTO PIECES!

Lan Fan : You mean like that little guy over there? (points to a bob-omb who is about to commit murder-suicide)

Bob-Omb : THEM JACKASSES, THEY HAD TO DO IT AND I WAS FORCED TO KILL THIS GUY! SOMEONE PLEASE DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE! I HAVE NO KIDS, I GOT NO WIFE, AND I HAVE NO JOB! JUST PLEASE END THIS QUICKLY! THERE FORCING ME TO BLOW UP THIS ENTIRE CITY!

Winry : Exactly! (grabs Bob-Omb) Hope this will make your final exit! I'm gonna give you this a big score for us! (Tosses Bob-Omb into the air) Batter up! (Kicks Bob-Omb into the sky)

Bob-Omb : I'M FREEEEE!!! (suddenly a fireworks appears directly upwards to him) AW, MOTHERF--

*DBZ SFX : LOUD BOOMING*

Winry : Wow! Home Run! Score one for Winry Rockbell!

Poppy Bros. Sr. : Phew! That was a close one. You hardly saved my life. I owe you one. (Mei Chang unties Poppy Bros. Sr)

Mei Chang : Are you alright, sir?

Poppy Bros. Sr. : I'm fine, princess. I've been worried that Kirby was supposed to be here to save me from that monstrosity that brought the shadows from Kingdom Hearts. I have no idea what took me here in the first place, but I deeply thought something that I had in mine.

Mei Chang : What did you had something in common?

Poppy Bros Sr. : I mean it's that portrait that had a nasty secret which is highly dangerous. Paint Roller told me that it was a portrait that was created a long time ago. Someone is going to unleash it and will wrap the entire world in black. Believe it was the Dark Picture, he gave us info about it. It was made by some freaky artist in the 20th century, unlike european artists like the legends their selves and the masterpieces, things may got out of hand with that portrait and I don't know what will happen if this planet's ever get to the bottom of their mess.

Winry : So what you're saying that a portrait is actually made by an evil artist that was using magic to cover the world in darkness. But I discovered that the only to destroy the portrait is to use the power of light. Paint Roller had no artist block for sure, but sometimes he has.

Poppy Bros. Sr. : Well, indeed! You certainly got a point there, Girl of Automail craftsmanship. You have words of an enthusiasm, I heard you told Edward that Scar killed your parents, that was the fault of a homunculus, or the Homunculi, they may have been associated with the heartless that wanted to make humanity suffer their own will, they've been doing pretty bad stuff around in the 2000s, I doubt that pain and suffering are always the best teachers they ever witnessed before.

Winry : Wait, you alright said that.

*DBZ SFX : Lighting Crashing*

Mei Chang : Guys, look!

Medusa Gorgon (?) : (Laughing, then laughs evilly, laughs manically)

Winry : No way! That has to be the witch Medusa Gorgon! This looks like trouble! I don't know if we're ready stop her with our efforts to defeat her!

Poppy Bros. Sr. : You're joking, do you? I should've expected from Truth itself.

Winry : Eh, I guess that you were right about that.

Poppy Bros. Sr. : The snake witch Medusa Gorgon that Maka and the others knew was Evil Medusa, the name of Medusa Gorgon's banished half and hardly to believe that thing was expelled from from the heart of the original Gorgon Witch Sisters. They're the ones who were wreaking havoc and rumors has it that they're enforcing Crona with the heartless attention' on destroying legacy of Shinra Kusakabe. No wonder the Men of Shinra's Influence have the nerves to keep it all a secret.

Winry : It's not the Men of Shinra's Influence that kept it all a secret, it was Darkside Death. He kept truth out of it. Are you going to tell me something that is wrong here?

Poppy Bros. Sr. : I discovered that the Gorgon Witch Sisters were the true enemies to the hero of witchkind, a relative to the witch name Ashley and had them expose for their crimes against both humans and witches. They were trying to destroy a legacy that was left from Shinra Kusakabe after his 1000 years of death.

Winry : And this Crona Kid, the human meister who was enslaved by Medusa's half, was it a he or a she?

Poppy Bros. Sr. : I think that Genderless kid was an experiment created by Sammy Lawrence to serve and protect the queen of the Ink Demons, but her and her sister's banished half ruined everything for the queen, So then Sammy Lawrence had no choice but to make Crona escape to the queen's side. Well, it might've come to my theory that these two meister are somehow both Yin and Yang at the same time, remembering it was alike.

Mei Chang : Oh yes, I do remember. It's all because of Shinra Kusakabe, we get it. The guy is dead and no one would we noticed, unless he's still alive somewhere.

Poppy Bros. Sr. : Yes, ma'am.

Winry : So where did you told me that the Gorgon Sisters of Soul Eater are the banished halfs and the original ones are still somewhere? Where could they be?

*Cellphone Ringing*

Winry : Hey, you don't mind. I would like to have a word with Edward. It could be someone on the phone.

*answers phone*

Winry : Hello, Edward? What are you up to anyway?

Sheska : (via phone) Winry it's me, Sheska!

Winry : Eh, Sheska? What's the rush? What do you have something important.

Sheska : You're not going to like it, Major Hughes is killed by Envy and the idiot bastard that lives underneath headquarters! Dante was just an actress, the real bastard who sent those heartless were Father and the Homunculi! They're the ones who killed Major Hughes and the Ishvalan that causes Scar to have his revenge. I can't believe this was all a major in order to destroy us all and the world itself!

Winry : (via phone) Why didn't tell me that! More importantly, do you have any idea who was going to use the Dark Picture's recreation?

Sheska : Well, yeah. I gotta lend it to ya, Father was doing all of his dirty work, his schemes, his plan on ahcieving Godhood, yeah, I think not. Only thing his, this Father guy is only the homunculus that Edward's father met, but he wasn't going to achieve Godhood to end all, he wanted to achieve perfection to gain all the world's knowledge! And the Heartless were to afraid to steal their knowledge as well. That's what figured it out, and Hoenheim was an idiot, no. Both of them are idiots! Truth is a strong and admirable adversary to all of Real World AU.

Winry : You got that right. Guess 2003 Edward was facing the wrong way, all of us are. We all faced the wrong way. Revenge is still a best dish serve cold, and that revenge is what we needed, I mean, about Lan Fan losing her arm, I decided that I needed a new one for her as a gift, and I had it all covered for her. No big whoop. No big whoop.

Sheska : (via phone) Well, there's more than one important thing about that. It's just that I'm nervous to get info on the computer.

Winry : What's that?

Sheska : (via phone) You're bumming with that lewd stuff I just saw...

*DBZ SFX : Collapse+boing*

Winry : NO WE'RE NOT! Do you have idea that all of that lewd stuff will drive me nuts!?

Sheska : (via phone) No! Not really! I mean, it would be and it is not safe to look at! Anyways, I just found out where the real Gorgon Witch Sisters are located at. They're in Boston, the state capital that they wound up at for 700 years, is the old Boston State House, that's the museum they wound up at.

Winry : Wait just a minute. You mean the Old State House in Boston is really the museum? (drops her phone)

Sheska : (via phone) Winry? Winry, what's wrong? Hello, earth to Winry! Yoohoo, is there something the matter?

Winry : Oh God...What the hell was Maka thinking? The real Medua Gorgon, is the actual and original Medusa Gorgon.

~ Mission 20 : Trial of an Error ~

[honorhearted]

"That's not for you to decide."

She was right. He wasn't her husband, nor was he even her beau, yet Benjamin was so tired -- so damnably tired of losing the ones he cared for -- the ones he loved over stubbornness and pride.

Swallowing sharply, he admonished, "You're being a fool."

"Colonel Bradford has ordered me to accompany the Major General's battalion to Monmouth, as Dr. Weston is no longer lithe enough for the field."

"Colonel Bradford?" With an indignant scoff, Benjamin rolled his eyes skyward, almost as if trying to cast out the very image. "Since when do you give one iota about his commands? You know as well as I what an arrogant, pompous, treasonous prig he is! And since he undoubtedly knows of your importance to me, he's merely...!" Trailing off in horror -- he'd said far, far too much -- he rolled his lips inward and curled his hands into fists, silently fuming.

Rebekah, ever mercurial, bit back with every bit of sound wit she was worth. "I never asked you to. Why is it you only deem yourself my protector when you see fit?"

"I deem myself your protector whenever it's necessary!" Benjamin fired back. "Lately, you have been careless, foolish, and I can't let you just march off into the snares of the enemy! Many soldiers, medics, too, have been captured and shipped off to die with the British. Do you wish to meet a similar end as Samuel?" Eyes growing wet, his chin jutted and his nostrils flared, an unmistakable hurt burning within his jaded eyes. "You have no right to go out there."

You have no right to leave me.

"It's not up to you," Rebekah snapped again. Though as their eyes locked, a sudden look of understanding washed over her face and she straightened. "What a minute...you're going? Aren't you supposed to remain with General Washington?"

Exhaling through his nose, Benjamin wiped a hand over his mouth and shook his head. "Forget about it."

"What are you up to exactly?"

"I said forget it!" he thundered. "The less you know, the safer you'll be -- which is why I'm asking, nay, begging you to reconsider your commitment to Bradford."

"Is it true?"

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific..."

That was a lie. She knew what he was referring to, but his lack of tolerance for her actions had been missed, and Rebekah couldn't keep from poking the proverbial bear. The argument no doubt brewing between them offered her some normalcy between them., and if she had to exchange a bout of reprimanding for his presence, then so be it.

"You're not going."

"Ben --"

"Monmouth will be too dangerous for you -- although I appreciate your commitment to the Cause, you're far better-suited for work here in camp, where Dr. Weston can oversee your progress and ensure your safety."

"That's not for you to decide," she answered, "Colonel Bradford has ordered me to accompany the Major General's battalion to Monmouth, as Dr. Weston is no longer lithe enough for the field."

"I can't protect you at Monmouth. There will be far too much chaos afoot."

"I never asked you to. Why is it you only deem yourself my protector when you see fit?"

There was a brief pause and Rebekah was remorseful of her sharp counter as she folded her arms self consciously. Their relationship was messy and undefined, but pretending like that night didn't happen was terribly upsetting.

"I haven't yet spoken with Dr. Weston, but I intend to do so after this...to let him know you're rescinding your offer, and will be working alongside him as before."

"It's not up to you," she said again, backtracking the conversation and realizing what he'd implied, "What a minute...you're going? Aren't you supposed to remain with General Washington?"

Rebekah knew how Benjamin felt about Charles Lee, so why would he have wanted to accompany him into battle? Her brow furrowed in suspicion.

"What are you up to exactly?"

[minart-was-taken]

Linkverse writing?? I guess??! It’s a tad simple and rough around the edges, but hey, isn’t everything if you look close enough? I’m proud enough of it to share, so that’s a win in my books!

Title: Tree Trekking Characters: Twilight, Sky, Time, and Wild No warnings for this one (Although highly vague twilight princess spoilers?) “Tags” First meetings - the start of bonding - Sky being a good boy - Time is a little bastard - Twilight is tired

Enjoy!

“Those look like rain clouds…” Link signed, dreading the thought.

“Ah- I think you’re right.” Feathers replied the same way.

Link winced, but gathered himself quickly after, making sure his adventure pouch was properly attached to his belt. They didn’t need a member of the group complaining AND also him having a loose adventure pouch.

...He sounded like a dork- Goddesses, he was panicking a little wasn’t he? Rain wasn’t a big problem, but on top of everything else it felt like a slap to the face.

He had been snapped to another world, teamed up with two strangers who were also him, apparently, and now it was going to rain.

The little guy had nothing to say either, but that wasn’t anything new.

Taking leading action, Link gathered himself, found his posture and signed to the Link whose Hyrule this apparently was. “Do you know anywhere we could find shelter?”

The little guy turned to look at him, with an expression that made it seem like he had insulted his entire family. “It’s just rain.”

Link sighed. “We don’t have much on us, a town with an inn and a shop to purchase a bedroll or two seems like a good idea.”

The little guy was quiet, before turning around and walking off. By this point Link knew that was his way of saying “follow me.”

He quickly checked Feathers, who with a slight stumble and a check on his items was on his way to follow as well.

With the small one in the lead, followed by Link and Feathers, the day continued like the past few had.

It had been strange, suddenly ending up here with a bunch of strangers like this. With Feathers it had been easy, the guy seemed to have a good heart. However with the little guy it was a different story. He seemed to speak the minimum possible, and didn’t especially want to stay as a group- Making it a daily battle to convince him to keep helping them navigate this hyrule.

Still, they were managing.

“We should probably try to get you a sword too.”

Feathers seemed taken back by this, before smiling awkwardly: “We’ve not run into anything, though, have we? Besides, you two seem quite used to wielding yours.”

“I don’t trust this situation.” Link confessed. “Something is bound to go wrong.”

Feathers gave him a sympathetic look.

“I’m serious.” He insisted. “The air doesn’t just crack and cause people to teleport through time and space. Something bad is in the air.”

Feathers seemed to want to say something to deny it, but couldn’t. He turned his head forwards again, facing where they were going. “I have other weapons.”

Link still felt unsure, but accepted it for now.

A bit more traveling, now down what seemed to be a dirt path, Link felt the silence beginning to grind on him. He clenched his hands to fists, and released them, repeating this action a few times to calm his nerves. When it wasn’t enough, though, he shook his head and fastened his walking pace.

This way he caught up to the small guide, and signed: “Can you share the route with me? I’d like a better understanding of what to expect.”

The kid looked annoyed again, but after a moment replied: “Kakariko is down this road, to the west until we reach a big rock, and then down the road next to it.”

“Thank you.” He said, breathing with purpose to calm himself, as he fell back behind to walk next to Feathers again.

It had been a long time since he had panicked like this last. It had been at a cell, in a strange body and shackled to the floor. It had been when Midna’s hold on his fur had weakened further as he tried to be faster despite the pain. It had…

Link sighed. He’d survived all of those, he had been hurt, but he survived. He could handle yet another journey to an unknown world. This is fine.

The little guy disappeared in that second.

Link blinked.

The kid had genuinely disappeared- One moment he was there, the next he wasn’t. 

This was not fine, actually.

“Where did he go?!” He signed frantically to Feathers.

“I don’t know!” Feathers responded, equally bewildered. “Did I see that right?! Did he-”

“Did he vanish…?” He signed as well, turning to look at the spot again.

“Maybe-” Feathers, panicking much more clearly than Link was: “Maybe he got sent to another world, like we were.”

“That beats him being dead.”

Feathers was shaken by that addition, but Link ignored it in favour of walking over to where the kid had been and looking around. It was of no use, of course, but he felt powerless and not doing anything felt wrong.

Not again- Not again-

There was a loud crack inside his ears, and the space between him and Feathers looked like it was cracked glass. This strange scene lasted as long as it took it to arrive, and in the next moment: instead of reality looking broken, there was another boy.

This new stranger took a hitched breath, taking a quick step backwards, Having immediately noticed Link. The step however lead him right into Feathers, which caused the stranger to yelp and manifest a blade twice his size from blue light.

Feathers threw his hands in the air, panic filled eyes looking between the armed boy and Link.

Link breathed in and out, as he moved to walk around the newcomer and next to Feathers, with his hands up in the air as well. He hoped that moving from behind the stranger would make him realize he didn’t care for that tactical advantage, and was looking for peace.

The stranger watched, the weapon still in hand, but took no action.

“Are you-” Link signed: “L-I-N-K?”

The stranger’s eyes grew suspicious with each letter, and Link figured he had made a mistake of some sorts.

Quickly trying to bridge the miscommunication, he added: “So are we.”

The stranger shook his head, which wasn’t ideal.

“No?” Link signed. “What do you mean no?”

To that the stranger didn’t seem to have an answer for. Simply shrugging like it was obvious.

“He’s being honest.” Feathers joined in. “We’re both Link, the hero of courage.”

After eyeing the two over like they had lost their minds, the stranger sighed. “I don’t believe you.” He signed. “But I’m also not sure where I am.”

“That’s fair.” Link supposed. “We’re willing to share our information.”

“Spill it, then.”

After explaining their understanding of how they got here, and what they were doing, the stranger sighed and agreed that going to a town would seem smart in his eyes as well.

However he chose to walk behind Feathers and Link, which Link couldn’t blame him for. He had his own fair share of paranoia of the situation, after all.

Besides, he’d know if the kid tried to approach with a blade in hand, he was awfully good at keeping an eye on his surroundings.

Not good enough, though. Despite following the route the first angry kid had given: they somehow got lost anyway. Sure they found a big rock, but there was no path near it that led to anywhere other than more wilderness.

“Did we misunderstand?” Feathers asked him.

Link furrowed his brow, unsure of the answer. He was quite sure they had gone the exact route the kid described.

The newcomer whistled suddenly, causing the two older to turn and look at him.

He seemed annoyed, and signed: “Is this a trap?”

“I mean, if it was we wouldn’t tell you.” Feathers signed back, at which Link elbowed him.

“It’s not a trap. This is neither of our Hyrule, so we don’t know where things are. The person who gave us instructions either forgot something or we failed to follow it right.”

The stranger crossed his arms, and pouted. Suspicious.

Link, wanting to hit his head against the trees until he could disappear from this situation, tried to breathe in and out and figure this situation out before anything worse happened. “We can probably try and find it on our own.”

“Oh, true.” Feathers replied, smiling again.

“Alright.” The newcomer accepted, still tense.

“Great.” Link responded, tired. “What does everyone here know about scouting?”

Feathers looked a bit flustered, and admitted: “I spent most of my life on a single island- In the sky.”

“Ok.” was all Link could muster.

“I’m okay at it.” The newcomer said, looking a bit less confident than before. “I know what signs to keep an eye out for.”

Link nodded at this. Back in the day he could’ve asked Midna to change his form so he could simply smell the strange scent that towns had, but that stopped being an option a long time ago.

He could still manage with human senses. He had done so for the majority of his life.

So after they pooled their knowledge of what to look out for, they began trekking forwards. Although it was more the two actually experienced people describing some basic things to the one from the sky.

After one man-made path diverged into two, the tired air of the group only grew worse.

“So- Which way?” Feathers asked, trying to not cause anymore tension with the question, by smiling gently.

The newcomer lifted the strange slate he had on his belt, and used it to get a better look forward. It wasn’t enough, though: “The foliage is too thick, I can’t see where either of them leads.”

Feathers pouted.

Link, quite frustrated at this point, signed simply: “Just one thing we can do, then.” And proceeded to scan the area for the tallest tree.

Feathers looked in mild curiosity as Link walked up to an alright specimen, and proceeded to climb it with almost no trouble. Branch to branch, and a good grip on the wood while still being mindful of it’s well being.

From high up he could take a far better look around the area, and found his nerves eased as he spotted smoke from further on and down the right path, as well as the gentle breeze that flowed freely up there. He smiled, despite himself, and climbed back down.

Once he landed with a gentle thud, he let Feathers know what he had seen, before turning to look at the newcomer.

He had stayed by the path, unlike Feathers who had gone to wait for him at the trunk of the tree, and was looking at him with what Link would describe as surprise.

“I was raised on a farm.” Link stated, feeling actually a little up for joking, before he started walking down the right path.

The journey went alright, and although the smoke turned out to be from but a small cottage, it meant they weren’t entirely on the wrong track. Someone was able to live here, so it would mean a town could exist nearby as well.

The newcomer, who hadn’t said much, spoke up another few minutes into the walk, as they tried to decide between three paths this time. “I could climb this time?”

Link was a little surprised, but nodded and gave him a supportive smile. “Go for it.” It was nice seeing the hostility gone, and in its place a want to help.

What he saw then, was… Unexpected. The newcomer proceeded to pick a tree at ease, and then climb at a speed Link had never seen before. It was extremely impressive, and somewhat terrifying.

“Woah.” Said feathers.

Link nodded, slow and stunned.

When the kid returned to ground level- With a thud and an expert landing to boot -he explained that with the zoom on his slate he was able to spot a town. He wasn’t sure which path would lead to it, but if the rest were fine with just going to that general direction until they got to it, he’d be able to lead them.

Feathers and Link approved of the plan, and now followed after the newcomer who was walking forth, at times checking the slate.

Feathers began to talk to him about beacons, apparently something on the slate reminded him of his adventure. Link tuned it out due to not really getting it, and breathed in the forest air.

This was all very strange, but it was nice that no-one was being a grump for once.

At sunset they reached the town, and having moved along with the rain cloud, it only caught up to them at the village gates.

Link gave the newcomer a pat on the shoulder, which surprised him. “Good work.” He signed before heading forward to look for an inn.

The rain only caught them when they had a roof above their heads, as they had moved in the same direction as it had been heading.

Sitting in a shared room, there was that strange snap-crack again, and the other kid was back. Strange face markings as clear on the face of annoyance as always.

The newcomer didn’t disappear, so their three person room had just become crowded.

“Oh.” The kid commented, looking at them all, including the newcomer. “You made it.”

“...Were we not supposed to?” Link asked.

“I gave you the wrong directions.”

Link blinked. He was stunned, having trouble processing the situation. Not because it was so unexpected, but because he hadn’t seen it coming despite how obvious it was this kid wouldn’t help them properly.

“Why?!”

“I didn’t want you to find the town.”

“Again, why?”

“I don’t trust you.” The response was instant.

Link sighed, it wasn’t a reason he could exactly fight.

Giving up, he sat down on one of the beds. This was going to be a stressful adventure, wasn’t it? He lent back a bit, looking at the ceiling. He couldn’t deny the truth of that question, but a part of him wasn’t entirely bothered. It had been a while since he’d slept in a room with another living being.

[hhjs]

love or lack thereof.

pairing  — felix x reader

genre / trope  — angst, fluff / exes with benefits.

word count — 7.7k 

warnings  — suggestive, heavy implications, swearing, some making out but no actual r rated stuff but i will say this is suitable for 18 and up audiences. 

note  — this is unedited, subject to change. spare me lol

There are two sides to every person. The side that you want people to see and the side that you keep to yourself.

You think you've come to discover all those aspects of Lee Felix. Given that he's sweet, unassuming and inexplicably kind to the naked eye but you know, the rising anger in you knows he's only ever been cruel to you.

"Move," you seethe, he moves to let you in but you unintentionally knock your shoulder against his. There's people on the subway, and you hate the way Felix's innocent gaze finds yours for a second and it makes you look like the bad guy.

You feel the disapproving glare of a grandma who has a crumpled catalogue about seasonal pie recipes on her lap, as if she can't believe how much of a cunt you were being to an absolute stranger.

A roll of eyes follows, fishing for your ear phones, if only they knew.

Seeing your ex boyfriend outside of your casual deal hits you with the force of a punch to the gut. But you hid it exceptionally well. Arrogantly jutting your chin upwards. Whilst he cowers beside you, having supposedly caught your sour mood.

To think you had spent an hour with him in a bedroom just formerly...is rather strange. You've been sleeping with him for the past few months now and where it had begun is slightly mysterious to you — was it Chan's birthday party or a clubbing gone wrong one night stand just after Felix had come back to town....? You aren't entirely sure.

Albeit the arrangement is ingrained in your head — what you have with him is a secret strictly kept from your friends who otherwise if even caught air of a mere conversation between you two would invite an influx of queries. This is simple, physical, you don't have time for a relationship, let alone one with him and to mend how utterly lonely you are with someone who hasn't already seen you naked, someone who you couldn't blindly trust, is too much work.

Even though Felix is indubitably affected by your unwavering indifference, something he wasn't used to when you were together because of how giving you were to sate his utterly needy tendencies. Now he feels himself clawing at your hardened exterior in search of just those affections to no actual avail —hurt crossing his eyes when you sneak out of bed without saying goodbye, when days pass and you don't call or text and most importantly, when you're in public and you can't be bothered to spare him as much as a glance. To you, it's nothing more and nothing less. You make it a necessity to keep reminding him.

See you liked to pretend you're a resilient person. That in your heart you really do forgive people and move on.

But he is an exception.

"Did you eat?" He perks up, his voice is small. Careful.

You keep your stoic expression, looking ahead. "No."

Then he blinks, like he usually does when he doesn't understand why you act the way you do. Impolite, communicating only in monosyllables.

Do you really hate him that much?

There's a hoodie pulled over his black hair, longer along the neck,headphones dangling from his neck and his backpack in his hand, he hopes when he holds onto the same railing as you are, that your fingers should brush just a little.

Despite the way you adamantly ignore him, Felix opens his mouth to utter a passing inquiry. Your jaw clenches. And you desperately begin to scan the city map plastered inside to navigate passengers to their destinations.

"Can we...do you want to get something to eat..." He swallows, "together?"

As if he's crazy for even making such a proposition, you look at him once but from the corner of your eye and he thinks that's a lot considering how often you look past him, through him, never at him. You shake your head, giving him a warning stare.

Across from you, his reflection is frowning at your negative response. Still staring at you with a marveling gleam in his eyes, how much you've changed over the past two years just as he has....still takes him by surprise. Suddenly and unexpectedly, his eyes flicker to yours and he finds you staring at his image against the glassed doors. And like a deer caught in headlights, your heart drops to the depths of your stomach.

The announcement above falls deaf to your ears as you exit in a blind rush of sheer panic. Ignoring the biting cold and unfamiliar station. Your stop is still quite far. Maybe you'd have to take the taxi... or walk.

But in the face of all those hassles you sense yourself feeling incredibly relieved...because frankly, you think, you could go to hell and back if gets you away from him.

—

"So you came to tell me you're just gonna give up? Is that it?"

Felix carefully glances at you through his lashes, silently pursing his lips as to convey the answer.

You stare at the speckles of light kissing up his freckled cheeks, his big beaming eyes, a slightly low bridge but rounded tip of his nose paired with a small upturned mouth.

You can't believe you won't see him again.

Whenever he'd catch a break, he'd take the 2 hour bus to town and come see you, meet you and those once in six months meetings alone, to you, compensated for his lengthy absence.

So it couldn't be the distance, you thought, if that were the case he'd have dumped you when he moved to the capital for university.

Felix just doesn't want to be with you anymore.

"You don't get it...." He closes his eyes, as if he doesn't want to see himself saying what he is about to say, you almost don't get the resistance in his tone. The subtle drop of his Adam's apple. "I don't want to hurt you." He starts, "Just think about this rationally... we're so young, what if I find someone else there?"

Someone...else?

Is it that easy to dispose of you? Aren't you enough?

How foolish of you to only ever think of him.

It felt like Felix was kicking you where knew would hurt the most.

Your sardonic laugh is cracked, garbled and it's so fucking embarrassing that you're crying in the middle of a fast food joint, your fries have gone cold. Had you known seeing him this time would be vastly different from usual, you wouldn't have ordered at all. Why didn't he tell you before? Why had he insisted on catching you unawares?

But then again...this isn't about you at all. This is about Lee Felix. This is about him reducing your worth to make room for himself.

Ultimately, you understand, what is worse than not being loved back is being loved by someone who doesn't love you as much as you do them.

"Well I won't stand in your way then,"

You clear your throat,

"Fuck..." you rub your temple, the sadist in you coughing up hysterical laughs. The ache inside your heart at this point has turned into physical pain, cracks fissuring out against its surface and gnawing at the flesh like its being torn apart at the seams.

You should've seen this coming.

Everyone told you and told you you could only drag on an opposites attract sort of relationship for so long before you start to realise how incompatible you are.

Felix has the audacity to reach over and place his fingertips on your knuckles,his eyes are sad, overflowing with pity. It makes you feel small, the way he looks at you, small, sad and abandoned.

What tips you over the edge, however, is how calm he seems, as if he had been precisely planning to dump you for days and months and years while you continue to make a fool out of yourself never have forseen his decision.

There are tears running down your cheeks, abusing your vision with a vicious sting. You bring your sleeve to collect the needless moisture in a sudden rise of temper that is oh so typical of you.

You snatch your hand away from his touch.

"Don't touch me." You say, the simple comment transfers pain to Felix's eyes, mouth parting in silent words. You want to scream at him, you want to shake him by the collar and tell say something, just say anything at all and I will forgive you. Goddamnit.

In a perfect world, you think, a world where things happened exactly the way they should, you wouldn't have said, instead,

"And don't you fucking dare come back here...ever again."

And...in that very perfect world, he would've listened.

—

Felix thinks he could, dare he say, love everything about you. Even though you most certainly deserve someone who hasn't hurt you the way he has.

Now it's funny actually, how the tables have turned...back then, he wasn't sure about you and now you aren't about him.

Felix doesn't really blame you though...because he knows he asked for it.

Your presence in his life has somehow become an absolute necessity to say the least. And ironically enough, while he had so confidently pushed you to let go of him, he realises he had been holding onto you all along.

Now what was he saying...again?

Right. Felix loves everything about you.

But what he loves most...is the way your hand instinctively finds his heart when you're kissing. It's just a simple movement of your fingers splaying against his chest, the warmth of them seeping through the fabric of his shirt. He doesn't even know why it means so much to him.

His hand drops from your ass to the back of your thighs to situate you closer to his chest. He moans into the kiss when your teeth comes to scrape against his bottom lip, your ministrations are typically rough and speedy but he is seemingly far too absorbed by the exhilarating feeling coursing throughout his entire form — it's not just blatant lust, he knows, but a much deeper understanding that he is inexplicably gladdened by the fact that he's touching you and you're touching him.

A shaky breath leaves Felix's parted lips as he cranes his neck to allow your lingering kisses to shift along his angular jaw.

Then without quite meaning to, his vision focuses on the table clock that reads it's well past midnight...you had run late tonight for reasons you neglected to disclose. Now that he really focuses, a strong musky fragrance akin to unfamiliar men's cologne wafts up his nostrils.

It couldn't be....

As Felix's suspicions run deeper, he restlessly begins to search up every aspect of his surroundings as best as he can in the limited provision of light. There is a large coat discarded on his bed, one he hasn't seen you wear before...then again it might not be yours at all...

You notice how he's stopped responding to you, so you pause, leaning back, still on his lap. "Is something the matter?"

Felix swallows, blinking up innocently at you. This deal is simple, isn't it? He knew what he was getting into the first time you got together and the second and the third and so on, so why had the possibility of you getting involved with someone else even bother him then?

Both of you knew why.

And what's worse is that Felix is sensitive by nature, never truly succeeding to hide his emotions, especially intense ones when faced with them. So he is hyper aware of the fact that what he is feeling in the moment is not jealousy, it's neither anger nor resentment but a deep seated insecurity that he will lose you.

Again.

"Were you...with someone?"

As expected, your hands resign from cupping his face, you avoid looking at him.

"What?"

Felix clears his throat, his accent thicker, voice heavy from disuse. He thinks about something being with you in the same way only he has...and it causes a dull ache inside his chest.

He rests his head back against the sofa and shrugs lazily. As if to prove a point, as if to say did he touch you here? his fingers ride up your t shirt, gently cupping your ribs, he tries not to look too satisfied when you quiver under the touch.

Still you lift yourself up and the sudden lack of contact almost makes him whine.

You stand before him. A hand at your hip.

"Why are you acting like this?" You say and he notes you sound more... curious than annoyed. Though what frustrates him is that you hadn't answered his question. "I thought I made myself clear...there are rules we agreed upon."

Oh he knows — no staying over, no personal questions, no jealousy.

Felix purses his lips. The downside of your forwardness, the same utterly admirable trait he finds really fucking hot, the one that conditions you to tell Minho off when he hogs all of Felix's brownies though the latter himself is too much of a pushover to say anything, the same one which had in times of recurring doubtfulness assured him of your strong feelings towards him, is that you say whatever comes to mind without sparing anyone's feelings.

"I'm just asking, [........]," he lies, trying to control the pain from projecting itself onto his voice. It hurts to see the way you jump to defend yourself around him, as though you're scared he'll hurt you again. The lack of faith you have him, after all this time, causes him hurt. "Why are you getting so upset...."

Felix is gentle. Communicating his feelings through his actions rather than words, cooly, slowly. And you are the exact opposite — there is an immediacy in your conveyance, a roughness. You mean what you say and you say what you mean so you think everyone does too. Which is why, he concludes, his present actions are insufficient to remove the seeds of resentment he'd left in the wake of his bitter utterances when you broke up.

But Felix was only 18 then, a kid completely unaware of his overwhelming need to have you in his life....what matters is, he's trying...he really is, to recover from his mistakes......shouldn't that least matter?

Thinking the slight inhibition in his tone is just a figment of your imagination and that he is simply and indifferently inquiring you, you feel a wave of embarrassment wash over you. Then you drop down on the bed, feeling for his remote.

You sniff through your nose and against your better judgement say, "I went out with an acquaintance,"

On weekends Chan usually wasn't home, you could come over. This is the routine, it has been for some time now...so, you've come to know Felix's room more intimately than your own, the walls are a deep blue, like the kind of blue out of a Holly Warburton painting. There's an old Coldplay poster on the back of his door and X-Men action figures from eons ago lined on the edges of his bookshelf.

You know where everything goes when though it's dark. But that doesn't mean anything.

It shouldn't.

"A acquaintance who gave you their coat midwinter...you must be close,"

You ignore his pointed comment, he ignores the way your eyes light up when you talk about this acquaintance.

"He's nice." You say, "He walked me to the station and everything."

A happy hum comes in response.

Because when was the last time you talked to him as freely as you are?

Felix plops down on his stomach beside you, elevating his form on his elbows. His fingers come to brush loose strands out of your eyes. Your gaze meets his for the second time that week. Slower. As if you hadn't minded looking him this time. He feels his heart being tugged at all possible angles.

Then, because he can't stop himself — he leans down and kisses you, tentative and indolent, like he has all the time in the world, like all he wants to do is kiss. Don't get him wrong...you've done downright unspeakable things with him, to him...but nothing mediates his adoration for you without the employment of speech like these little chaste...purposeless movements. His fingers coming to splay against your neck, thumbing along your throat when you gulp, the tip of your nose brushing against his cheekbone, eyes fluttering shut. They're...they're intimate. Utterly special. He knows you feel it too, from the way you look slightly surprised, searching his face, eyes skimming up any fragment of emotion conveyed in his features. But you don't encourage it, slowly shifting to turn your back as you lay quietly against his chest.

"Let me stay here tonight," you say, "I'm tired."

"Okay,"

Felix thinks you've broken not one, but two rules now. He hadn't expected you to answer. He hadn't expected you to get into bed with no intention of departing either.

Though he doesn't hold it against you, this is what he wants, for you to open up to him again...after all. These changes can't be bad changes, even if they are little, it's still progress...right?

—

You wet your fingers, dipping the moistened muscle against the clay mold. All around you is not as eerily quite as it is in your apartment, footsteps thrumming against hardwood floor, kiddish humming from the kitchen, the smell of sugar in the air, you've never worked outside of your home station and well...in class. You thought of yourself as a self sufficient individualist, you liked to believe that you didn't enjoy other people's company like you did your own, with the exception of your roommate. But that's only since you aren't close enough for her to disturb you.

Yet with Soomi moved out for good, the place felt...odd to stay by yourself.

So you found yourself spending more and more time at Felix's. It's nice to have a place to crash in every now and then, the sex is great and when you get hungry after, you don't have to think twice about scouring the fridge.

You don't know why you put off spending time aside from sleeping together at all, more time spent didn't necessarily add to your deal or subtract from it....because the action itself doesn't really mean anything. Everyone gets tired of being alone at some point. That's a universal fact.

Initially, you told yourself your presence was a consequence of Chan catching you two in the shower one night...so now that the cat's out of the bag, you two figured his place could become the only premise you didn't have to play pretend in. You both knew the elder would be more than willing to keep the younger's secret even if he didn't exactly approve of it.

With the increased frequency of your visits, bits and pieces of you remain dispersed all throughout the apartment, your body wash in his bathroom, your underwear in his laundry, the smell of you in his sheets, on his clothes. You had relaxed yourself through the periphery of his life and he had small glimpses of yours, habits and flaws, unknowingly...or knowingly....whatever. — Felix could only thank God that Chan had found out, in spite of the revelation itself putting you both in a compromising position.

With time, he starts to keep a few secrets from you too, here and there, knowing that if you knew you will stop doing it altogether. He can't have that...

You throw a leg around his hip when you're fast asleep, flinging an arm not a second later to cage him in your warm embrace. Felix likes the way your chest rises and falls against his back, how your breath tickles his skin and your mouth parts against his shoulder blade. Sometimes he stays awake and waits for you to do it, then when you do, he grins so hard his face hurts a little. Felix likes being the little spoon.

"Are you listening?"

His vision narrows down to the sight of you holding out your palms in the air, there's wet clay on them, as well on your cheek and legs, between them your pottery wheel is halted to desuetude, there's old newspapers layering the floorboard to prevent staining.

"Sorry...," he smiles sheepishly, "What did you say?"

It's your turn to shift your gaze to your feet. Felix thinks it's highly uncharacteristic, the way you seem almost...shy?

"Can you..." You eye the mug mounted on his study desk, he catches onto your request easily, "I'm thirsty—"

"Yeah yeah hold on... careful," Felix chirps, carefully guiding the rim to your lips to make sure it doesn't spill. He uses the tip of his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, you flinch first but then whilst the mild shock subsides, simply stare up at him as the pad of his thumb brushes against your skin. "There you go..." he trails, eyes bright with care.

You feel like a child being doted on, the mere emotion plunging you back to when you were 5 and had crushes on boys who shared skittles with you.

"Thanks."

Felix's ears perk up at the courtesy, you were never one to express yourself easily and when you did, every time, he felt inexplicably delighted.

The apples of your cheeks feel hot for some reason, by putting yourselves in in these small situations, you keep confusing him, you know, because you keep confusing yourself too.

You come out again that night but this time Bang Chan is shifting around in the kitchen. He hardly sleeps, you observe, but probably refusing to come out because he wanted to avoid bumping into you.

Chan doesn't seem to like you very much. Probably. You don't blame him. Before you came along, Felix and he spent more time together, now you had become a constant in his life without will.

You have to listen twice to realise he's speaking with you. Not an invisible being behind you.

"What?"

"I said..." His tone dropped dangerously low, he looks annoyed at something. "Listen I don't care what you're doing but don't hurt him." He's wearing a black t shirt and a pair of pajama shorts with cartoon wolves littered all across the baby blue fabric. He's trying to appear intimidating. It's not really working.

You stifle a laugh.

Frankly had you not known how deeply he cared for Felix, you'd not have cared about his advice. Or warning....?

"Fine," you respond, watching as the tension visibly left his body with one bating breath. "I hope this isn't about me stealing your yoghurt though."

"It's a little about stealing my yoghurt," he jokes, you think he's one of those people who'd apologise if you punched them in the face and spat in their drink. It's interesting...

Chan laughs a little. His eyes sparking with amusement for the first time of all the times he's looked at you. Did he trust your word that much?

—

"He talks about you a lot you know,"

You nearly spit out your drink. Seungmin isn't exactly the densest guy you know. Far from it exactly and he isn't discreet either. So your first instinct is to think he knows something.

You watch Felix from a distance, a solo cup in hand, he's laughing at something Hyunjin said, there's a crinkle along the bridge of his nose and his upper lip curls upwards to reveal his teeth. In reality, in everyone's eyes, your lives are separate. They walk on eggshells around you still...you assure yourself there's no way anyone could've guessed.

So you play dumb, glugging the whiskey into your cup. It spills around the edges, landing on the semi-lit neon counter.

"Who?"

Seungmin blinks at you. An unreadable expression on his face.

"Jisung." He says, "Who else?"

You feel yourself getting less excited, the breath you were unconsciously holding passing your entire form. Jisung is the newest addition to your life, a performing arts student who offered to portrait model for a project you'd been given in class. He's cute, forward, which you like a lot. And you notice whilst using him for inspiration, that he looks at you just as attentively as you had at him.

Only for different reasons.

Jisung asks for your number. You say yes. Half-heartedly. Though at the forefront of your mind you keep comparing everyone to the guy you go home to ever so often, you pick out their flaws and their perfections and you think to yourself he isn't like this, he is like this.

"Yeah?" You pose, sipping and wincing. "What did he say?"

"Just the usual stuff...." Seungmin tilts his head, he's not drinking tonight because he has an exam tomorrow. You think it's a little funny that he's carrying around water in a solo cup. "But I can tell he has the hots for you,"

You laugh this time. That's no surprise to you. "Well he's not so bad himself."

Seungmin narrows his eyes, shooting you a suspicious look.

"Of course you'd say that...." He taunts, "Heard you guys hung out...how was that by the way?"

"It was alright. Sort of just...happened. We bumped into each other and he offered to buy me dinner."

"And you...said yes?"

You give him a blank look, sarcasm dripping from your monotonous sentences, how else would you have spent time together?

"No, I didn't, Seungmin,"

The owner of the name rolls his eyes at your satirical comment, "No need to be mean, I'm just a little surprised is all."

"Surprised?"

You raise an eyebrow, Felix is still in your line of sight, it looks like he's stalling, waiting for your conversation to end so you could leave. He glances at you a few times and you quickly text him a 5 more minutes. "Why's that?"

"Cause every time you start to have feelings for someone, you take one step forward and ten steps back," he points out, "Think about it...you haven't been in like an....actual relationship after...well, you know," he postulates.

You glare at Seungmin, your pride somewhat injured.

"Hey! I've....dated."

"No....you slept around with people, that's not the same as dating." He retorts.

You snort.

Wouldn't you know.

Minho changes an upbeat pop song to something mellow. It's in a foreign language...maybe Spanish, you understand nothing but you don't have to to know it's a sad tune, the lyrics coming together in a melancholic harmony. Your eyes drift away, you feel your attention falter.

It was not unknown for you to have absolute control over your life, be it living your days by strict routine or building such a sturdy pretentious armour around yourself so that your organic self remained unscathed underneath. You had learnt the hard way that being yourself in front of other people would only bring you hurt...but if no one really knew you, no one could hurt you.

This game of hide and seek had become such a long standing practise in your life that it disconnected who you are from who you pretended to be. And every time the extent of your actual desires, monsters much beyond your control rose to the surface, they brought you shame, disgust.

You found those pretences withering away, the shell of protection around you falling apart whenever the thought of Felix crossed your mind. — his heavy noise of content against your neck, his fingers curling into your sheets, his open mouthed kiss against the arch of your hipbone, everything and anything...you had again, despite all your abrasions, become madly consumed by him.

And you must admit to yourself that you are becoming quite ridiculous because of it.

In this strange moment, you realise you almost need Felix to harp on about you even though you specifically asked him to keep all that you have a secret. You want his friends to come scurrying to you to start telling you that he cares so much he can't keep his mouth shut, to be so enamoured with you that his innermost feelings become painfully apparent, that it's utterly stupid of you to not see how he feels about you.

That's not how it goes though. Stuff like that only happens in movies.

Felix responds, texting, "Take all the time you need." Surprised, you steal a glimpse of him, but only when Seungmin isn't looking. You didn't know what you expected, something more crude, that would give away that he was jumping on the balls of his feet to only get into your pants, that would remind you that Felix is nothing but your fuck buddy. You find that you always look for reasons to resent him....because if you did, it meant that you didn't have to acknowledge how you're still in love with him.

You knew what you were in for. And hoping, wanting something more....is no more than wishful thinking.

Felix smiles at you, a genial smile, a simple curve along the corner of his lips which conveys patience, but also something deeper, like...understanding.

Again no matter how much you pushed him away he seemed to find his way back to you in some fashion, just to convey that your union is not all as black and white as you told yourself it was.

You down the entire drink in one swig. Seungmin makes a face at you, the kind he makes when you stick your fries in ice cream for shits and giggles,

"Well....we broke up a long time ago," You hiss at the awful taste stinging your throat, sounding slightly angry. You can't believe it matters still, but when you've been clutching onto something for too long, be it a painful emotion or a memory...you start to think it's the locus of your life, an integral part of you. It terrifies you to think who you'd become without it — vulnerable, malleable, sensitive.

You can't do that again.

The last few weeks, regardless of how good they were, didn't change a thing.

It couldn't. You wouldn't let it.

Seungmin is right, you think, you are taking ten steps back. Just not in the context he thought.

"There's no reason I shouldn't start now."

—

Turns out there is a reason.

Jisung asks you out the next day. He's so friendly that you feel overwhelmed. At all times of the day, he dresses like a frat boy out on his morning jog. A nike running shirt and loose fitted trousers, a baseball cap worn the other way around...it's a little silly.

You don't mind it, having the kind of apathy you would have towards someone you don't know very well.

Everything with him feels new, awkward. But also slightly exciting. He talks too much when he's nervous and you notice that he's almost always nervous because of your personality, as though he can't really put a finger on you and doesn't know what to do about it. Besides...he’s not a horrible kisser either, you muse, he just doesn’t know what you want.

Yet whenever you heard yourself thinking those compliments, you couldn't help but feel utterly guilty, a strangely deep seated feeling that you were doing something wrong.

Why did you feel this way....

Felix isn't your boyfriend anymore. You don't owe him any form of loyalty. You knew that. You're someone who sticks to their gut feelings and your gut had decided that something about seeing Jisung didn't feel right and not just because of Felix, but because you're not interested in a relationship just yet. And you're sure he could tell you aren't, he shouldn't quite expect a call back anytime soon.

"I had a nice time," you say, because it's true. He took you out for ice cream and bought you candy floss when you stared at it for too long.

When Jisung doesn't respond for a hot minute, you follow his trail of vision, which instead of focusing on you, has shifted to the semi-lit backdrop of your apartment. He's too obvious.

"Do...you want to come in?"

He flounders a little at your suggestion, embarrassed. "Would that be alright?....if I did...."

"That depends, are you gonna kill me?"

You say with a straight face. No matter much Jisung prodded at your exterior, you wouldn't budge, like you usually hadn't. Unravelling isn't really your thing so....he can't tell if you're kidding or not.

"No...?"

You snort, "Why do you sound so unsure?"

Jisung's face has grown impossibly red, he could feel his ears burning in indescribable shame. You just have this air about you that makes you incredibly hard to read and it's really attractive.

"I....I didn't..."

You keep your voice, steady, calm, "Relax," "I'm just screwing with you," you say, stepping aside for him to enter, "Make yourself at home."

—

You suppose you were born to study the arts.

You never could consider yourself a studious being. When you were in school, you remember falling behind in classes where the arduous process of revising was required, say mathematics or the sciences even.

Though that realisation hadn't come to you naturally.

Your parents wouldn't take kindly to you not taking up a "well paying" profession and you fell victim to the constant barrage of criticisms, of mockery which ultimately conditioned you to think some part of you, a large part just wasn't good enough.

And with Felix gone....

You were at your worst.

The two years you spent without him were the hardest, a set of years that obliged you to protect yourself from all the hurt around you, inside you. And while the security that you provided yourself is undoubtedly necessary for well...anyone, the process itself had its wicked way of rendering you unspeakably lonely.

You agreed to apply as an engineering major to gain your parents' approval and then transferred to the arts department by the time you'd successfully moved out. You haven't spoken to them ever since...and it hurt you more than you would deign to admit.

When your mum drops over for a surprise visit and chances upon your ex-boyfriend loitering about in your kitchen, fixing up midnight munchies, she takes a natural guess that you've gotten back together. (Which you think is far more agreeable than the truth. Knowing your mother, a staunch supporter of your relationship with him, she wouldn't take lightly to your arrangement.) And before you know it, you're all having dinner.

Felix makes an effort to dress up well, discarding his usual hoodies and joggers for a more formal look, you suspect it has something to do with the fact that you haven't attended any casual settings with him since you broke up.

Cutlery clinks against ceramic, coming down with a semi-loud thump as you try to swallow the enormous lump in your throat. Your mum makes a passing jab at you, saying how you had settled for a much "easier" major than say architecture or philosophy, she bitterly mentioned that everything worked out in the end. After all, your choice is a "much fitting" field of study for someone of your caliber, backhandedly insinuating that you're far too stupid to pursue anything else.

What inspires hilarity is how those insults still affected you. In front of Felix, you act like these few years have brought the fighter out in you and here you are trying to blink away the onslaught of tears prickling your vision. It feels like someone stripped you off your skin, off your flesh and picked out all your shortcomings for him to see.

You expect him to stay quiet, you expect him to think of you as the utterly shameful, selfish being you tell yourself you are,

But Felix's fingers find your shaky knuckles under the table where they rest on your knee, he implants the weight of them in a reassuring squeeze. "Well I think it's great," he says instead, smiling cheerfully at your mum. To which she, for the lack of support, sheepishly beams at him, "Not many people have the drive to do what they want to do. Or know what they want to do...take it from me, Missus [.....]" He laughs nonchalantly, the hairs on the back of your neck standing to attention upon hearing the lovely sound. You always liked his laugh, the sound rippling against your naked skin, thick baritone when he'd just woken up and a kiddish falsetto when he's extremely happy.

You wonder when you started paying so much attention.

Felix glances at you, lingering for a long minute."I bet it took a lot of guts."

You feel your chest constrict with a sudden surge of emotion from the mere look, you can't remember if the Felix you knew in the past, or anyone for that matter, had ever beamed at you with such pride.

You wonder what he'd think if he knew about Jisung, why you had neglected to tell him at all....you knew, because this little moment is precious to you and you had no reason to tarnish it. Not when you had time.

You tilt your head, using your free hand to hastily find the back of his neck, drawing closer to him with little strength. The more he realised what you're doing, the more excited he got. See he found your newly introduced public display of affection immensely attractive, though obviously embarassed by the sudden motion...

You can do crazy things sometimes. Really crazy things. In public and he has never opposed to such exhilarating things, be it in restrooms or even in a similar setting when you were dating, there was a certain thrill to it which drove him to the brink of insanity. Felix would silently implode your attention when you were alone and when you were out in the open, in whichever way he was to receive it, the way which insinuated you were his was the best of them all. All that was fine though...because it was just the two of you.

But now...in this indecent time, he wishes he could hear what you're thinking.

Had... had you gone completely mad?! Your mum is looking!

Your face is stoic, Felix's mouth parts, then you reach over and kiss him shamelessly.

Over the years, all the things that have caused you pain were things you had endured on your own, in his absence. This realisation alone invites a heavy conviction inside you.

Because you know it just as well as he does, no matter how sincere he is to you — you don't need Felix. Not really.

But you want him.

—

You do a stupid thing. A stupid endearing thing and Felix's heart beats like it would jump out of his mouth if he opened it.

It was meant to be a secret, what you two have, a matter of uncomplicated lust which didn't require the attention of anyone because it initially or so you put it, wasn't important enough.

Then you charge to him, he supposes it has a little to do with the person who was blatantly flirting him in the middle of Changbin's Halloween party, he doesn't care though.

You don't like embarrassing yourself, so he doesn't actually expect you to wear a black cat hairband matching his white ears and feline tail. Felix wants to think it means something, how despite the coos and the caas, the giant wave of surprise washing over your friends, you interlace your fingers within his and kiss his cheek.

He doesn't what that makes the two of you now... but he would give you all the time in the world to figure that out if it meant you could be his again.

—

You trace your fingers against outline of his face. Splatters of moist moonlight kissing the high rise of his cheeks, dusting along the long fringe of lashes which cast shadows along his skin, his freckles are like dots of bronze dispersed on his skin. He's beautiful like this.

"You're thinking too much," he says with his eyes closed, smiling a little. "Don't think so much."

You laugh. "Or what, huh?"

Felix cracks an eye open, his grin big, kiddish. "I was hoping you'd say that," he rubs the tip of his nose against your collarbone, he snuggles closer to your chest. What you hadn't expected was how he shifted his entire weight onto you, lying entirely atop you as though he were a starfish.

You couldn't stop laughing at the motion, it's so cheesy and gross...you love it.

—

Here's something you don't know — Jisung tells his friends everything, about making out with you and taking you out...everything. News travels fast. Faster than you anticipated. Despite wanting to divulge the matter, you were too taken by the recent shifts in your feelings to confess to your little interaction. You had told yourself again and again — a little later, just a little later and I’ll tell him.

It could be too late now.

The entire campus knew of your little rendezvous, shooting you curious looks... it's not until Minho comes up to verify the floating rumours do you all but sprint to Felix's place. You think of Chan's trusting eyes, of don't hurt him, of laughing in the intimacy of your bedroom and swiping your fingers down his spine like you were trying to commit the undulating design to memory.

You're not sure where it all began.

but you don't want it to end.

Felix doesn't answer your calls or your messages. When he buzzes you up, just from his gait, just from the resigned look in his eyes, you know he knows.

You watch as he listlessly leaves you to enter, walking before you without saying as much as a word.

You grab Felix’s elbow, making him stop in his tracks. He looks at your fingers wrapping around the muscle, shrugging you off easily. It’s just a small gesture but its impact is so large...that you feel your heart break into a million pieces.

You had never seen Felix being so quiet, even when he was down, he found a manner to radiate a form of optimistic energy which baffled you. You can’t believe how much you could have possibly hurt him. 

 “I can explain.” you gulp, “We went out on one date. It wasn’t because I liked him, I know it’s stupid and...I should’ve told you. I’m sorry, that's not an excuse, but you have to trust me when I say it didn’t...it doesn’t mean anything to me—”

“Did you sleep with him?”

With his back turned away, he still isn’t looking at you, speaking to you with a surprisingly stable tone.

“No.”

Felix takes a shuddering breath, one which expresses the small relief of knowing that Jisung hadn’t seen, touched you, felt you in the way that he only had, but there’s still so much more he wants to know. 

“Did he make you laugh?” 

It’s a silly question, he realises belatedly but he can’t help it. Some part of him, a large part, thinks he’d be more hurt if you made someone happy and they made you happy than if you fucked them.

You shake your head even though he can’t see you. “He didn’t.”

Your fingers again reach for his, wrapping your index into his thumb. You slowly move your hands to his middle, clutching him close to your chest, chin hooking into his shoulder, suddenly...you feel him melt into the embrace. Felix’s voice falters for the first time, small trembles against you. You’re willing to answer all his queries if it could put his mind at ease. You put your heart on hold for too long.

"Do you hate me...?" He sniffles.

You blink....did you?

Felix had changed, like you, he had matured, the past version of him you had so stubbornly ingrained in your endless inner monologue is not the one you grew all too familiar with...

Familiarity does breed contempt, does it not? Well you think the line between love and contempt is untraceable, melded together as a mysterious whole. After all those years, you were still angry, still filled to the brim with contempt for him and more importantly, yourself because you still love him much more than you'd like to admit. After all you've been through. After all this time. The need to love him ultimately encompassed every other emotion which posed itself as a hindrance.

So the opposite of love, the absence of love, you think, isn't hate, it's indifference. An emotion you never felt towards him.

Felix has wedged himself into every aspect of your life, tainted every portion of your routine in his presence and in his absence.

You don't think you'd have it another way.

"You broke my heart," you explain, "I was angry....but I could never hate you for the sake of hating you."

"I can't..." Felix whispers, twisting his body so he could look at you now, “I can’t promise you that it won’t be hard but I'm not—I’m not going anywhere...you know that right?”

You lean your forehead against his, his eyes shifting to your mouth, hands rising to wrap around your neck. You smile.

“I know.” you say, "Me neither."

“I love you...” He says in a small voice, putting his hand against your knuckles. “Do you love me?”

Your eyes soften, cupping his face like this — carefully collecting a lone tear with your thumb before it could touch his cheek. This time there is not a shred of hesitancy, no pause, no pondering before you say, 

“I never stopped.”

—

You enter in a blind rush of panic, thinking you might miss your ride, feet knocking together, elbows hitting elbows, bustling all around you and the sudden overwhelming stench of people hit you, it’s not an ideal setting, not at all actually. 

But you couldn’t bother to be displeased a second you spent with him. A teenager rolls her eyes at how disgustingly in love you are, elderly couples tutting under their breath...albeit, you don’t fail to notice their subtle smiles, small shake of their heads which attested to the fact that the joy you both radiate is.. absolutely infectious. You stumble with him behind, Felix is laughing breathlessly, bumping into your chest as the train suddenly starts moving, you place a finger on his cheek and he raises his chin to look at you.

“Did you eat?” he repeats, mocking himself, a dialogue from a time which seems an element of the distant past replaced by a love which compensated for every hitch in your relationship. You still argue, still disagree and still make up the same. Felix was right, it isn’t easy.

But when two people love each other as much as you do,

it’s worth trying. With every fibre of your being.

“No.”  You laugh, playing along, “But I could, with you.”

[dragon-kazansky]

Familiar stranger | Helmut Zemo

Requested by @realremyd

Female Reader!

The moment is eyes had landed on you, so many things happened at once. He zoned out Sam and Bucky, he took a step away from you, his heart seemed to clench in his chest, and all he could think was 'it can't be.'

Right there in front of him was the spitting image of his wife. Well, maybe not exactly, but you did hold such a resemblance to her. It was like she was right there with him again.

You were looking at him. The others too, but it was you he found hard to look away from.

"Who are you?" He asks, needing to know if his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Y/N."

A sigh of relief escaped him. Was he relieved though?

He was obviously making you uncomfortable with the way he was looking at you, so he turned his head away. Yet, your presence felt loud. He would never be able to look at you without seeing her.

It got worse.

In Madripoor you were required to wear a disguise. You were the last to come out in the clothes he had got for you, and once again he was struck by the sight of his wife.

Often they would both dress up and go out for the evening. The outfit he had chosen, though he wasn't sure if this was intentional or not, really made you resemble her all the more.

He couldn't take it.

Zemo avoided all eye contact with you. He focused his attention on the boys, finding it easier that way. Even when he stated your role in this he wouldn't look directly at you.

You wondered if you had done something to offend him, which kind of hurt. You always did your best to get on with anyone you worked with, but obviously that wasn't happening here.

Perhaps it was best to stay out of his way.

Things took a turn: a bounty was placed on your heads because of the death of Selby, all of Madripoor was coming for you, and Sharon popped out of nowhere to rescue you.

Back at her place, you changed into something less flashy. You wanted to tone down the outfit a bit and wear something a little more you.

Zemo couldn't help thinking that you looked much better this way. Though he still saw his wife's face, you looked more like you. You suited you.

Down in the club it was easy to avoid you. Zemo blended into the crowd... kind of, and you stuck to the other side, enjoying your own time here.

You left before all of them.

When the boys left the club and went back upstairs, they found you sleeping on the sofa. You had kicked off your shoes and, obviously, made yourself comfortable.

He couldn't look away.

Zemo sat down near by and looked at you. This was a good chance to look at you without making you uncomfortable.

"How can you look so much like her, yet be so different too?" He whispered the question.

Not really realising what he was doing, he tucks some hair away from your face. You can't possibly be all that comfortable or warm here. Not wanting to overstep any boundaries by carrying you to your room, he gently lifts your head enough to put a cushion under it. He then grabs his coat and drapes it over you gently.

He leaves you to sleep in peace.

You wake up rather slowly. You had been extremely tired when you got back last night. You had enough fun in the club and excused yourself, passing Bucky on the way out.

You sit up. The coat falls from your shoulders and into your lap.

Zemo's coat.

You blink away any tiredness to examine it, running your fingers across the fur. It was soft.

Why did you have his coat?

It dawned on you that he must have out it there himself. No one else would touch it otherwise.

It smells like him.

You look up when you hear someone approaching. It's the man himself. He stops like a deer in headlights when your eyes meet his. Before he can turn around and leave, yoy call out to him.

"Wait!"

He stays standing, looking at you curiously. It still hurts to look at you, but your voice is so much different, it makes him remember who he is looking at.

"Thank you."

He looks at the way you're holding his coat. The way your have a hand resting over the fur collar, clearly finding the feel of it satisfying.

For some reason that pleased him.

"You're welcome."

You smile. It's not her smile. It's your smile. He likes it.

You stand up and hold his coat carefully, taking the utmost care in handling it. You held it out to him when you stopped a little closer to him.

He takes it. His eyes never leave you. This is the longest he has looked at you at any one moment.

You're still smiling.

"I have to ask," you begin, "have I done something to offend you?"

His lips part ever so slightly as be tilts his head a tiny bit.

"Offend me?"

"Yes. This is the most you've looked at me since we met. You don't really talk to me and you seem to avoid me when possible." You gaze down at the floor.

He can hear the disappointment in your voice. He can see the way your hands fidget in front if you.

It seemed to really bother you that he was avoiding you.

"It's nothing you have done."

You look at him with concern.

"Something I've said?" Not that you've spoken to him much.

"No."

"Then, please, tell me how I can fix whatever this is. I would quite like for us to get along while we work together," you were pretty much pleading with him.

He clutches his coat, but you don't seem to notice.

"You remind me of my wife."

The way your head shoots up to look at him tells him he caught your attention. There was no going back now.

"You look so much like her and I can't take it," he whispers. "It is not your fault at all, but I cannot look at the face of someone I loved and failed greatly."

You're at a loss for words.

"But I know you're not her. The way you speak, the way you dress, the way you look when you're sleeping soundly... that's all you."

You stand there quietly.

"If you'll excuse me." He turns on his heel and leaves the room.

Helmut doesn't speak to you at all at the dock. He ignores you further on the plane to Latvia. You find yourself looking at him a lot more, but he doesn't even glance your way.

When you arrive at the safe-house, you immediately seek out a bedroom and try to stay out of everyone's way.

Sam comes to look for you. He can see something has happened and he's concerned it's a problem.

"Y/N? Open up."

You open the door to him.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?" You ask, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Between you and Zemo. You're ignoring each other more than usual. If this is going to be a problem, I think we should at least talk about it."

"I think it's best I tap out now. You still need Zemo, right?" You ask, avoiding his eyes.

"Possibly, but not for much longer. Why? What's happened?"

"I think I'm making it difficult for him. He told me, back in Madripoor, that I look a lot like his wife and I think it's hard for him to look at me. I don't want to be the reason the job fails."

Sam wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his side.

"That's not going to happen. If you want to stay here, I'm sure that's fine, but just know we could really use your help."

"I think I'll stay here. You can call me if you need me."

"Alright, we're not going anywhere just yet, so you'll have to deal with Zemo being around a little longer."

"I know."

Sam gave you a slight squeeze and left you in peace. Zemo was waiting downstairs when he returned. The Baron was kind of disappointed to find that Sam was alone.

You were avoiding him too. He supposed he deserved that.

"How is she?"

"Fine. She'll probably stay in her room for a while. She's decided to stay back for now, so we'll be dealing with the Flag Smahsers without her," Sam explained.

Zemo didn't mean for that to happen.

There was another knock at your door. You called for them to enter, expecting it to be Bucky coming to see you, but it wasn't.

"Oh, Zemo."

He closed the door behind him and walked over to you, but still maintained a comfortable distance between you.

"You're not coming with us?"

"Thought it would be better if I didn't tag along any more. They need you more than me right now," you speak softly, playing with the corner of your pillow next to you.

You hear Zemo sigh gently. The mattress sinks down next to you as he sits down.

"They need you too."

You shrug.

"I didn't mean for you drop out of the mission. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No. I'm glad you did. I feel better knowing the reason why you can't look at me."

"Who's not looking now?"

You look up. His dark gaze is on you. He had been looking at you from the moment he entered the room.

He smiles.

"Won't it be difficult working with me if I'm there? I'm worried I'll jeopardise the whole thing."

He reaches out and he takes your hand.

"No. I did some thinking on the plane. I've spent too much time living in my past already, I won't let you back out of the plan because of my foolishness. I had no idea it would bother you so much that I was avoiding you." He gives your hand a little squeeze.

"I'm surprised too, you know. It kind of bothered me that you wouldn't even talk to me unless absolutely necessary."

"Apologies. I am a fool."

"No, you're not," you chuckle softly.

The smile he gives you sets the butterflies off in your stomach.

"Who is it you see now?" You ask, whispering.

"You. Just you."

You bite your lip shyly and shuffle a little closer.

"Then, I changed my mind. You'll have to put up with me when we go get the bad guys."

Zemo laughs.

"Poor me."

You rest your head against his shoudler. You don't know what it is about him, but there was something there that made you want to know him. If he would let you, you wanted to get closer to him.

Even if his freedom was short lived.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna

[rfaromance]

day 4: poppy - eternal sleep

He could remember the day he broke you as vividly as if he were living it for the first time.

"Get up, moron," Saeran gruffed as he flung open the door to your room, a scowl etched into his face. "You'd better not be foolish enough as to ignore me when I want to be entertained."

Saeran had always thought that the deep berry jacket and blindingly blue rose pinned to its lapel were disgustingly gaudy. He abhorred the sight of them as they clung to his body, fitting far too perfectly for his comfort. If he was going to carry out this trick, however, he needed to devote himself to his part.

He wanted to see the maximum possible effect on you, after all.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," Saeran snapped.

You feebly lifted your head to look at him as he entered, but even as your eyes drifted up to his face, he kept his own gaze fixed on the ceiling, not bothering to show you the same respect.

Saeran had no desire to let the image of the broken toy in front of him stain his memory.

"About time," Saeran snorted as he walked over to a table in the center of the room. Once, Ray had brought fresh flowers every so often to bring new bursts of color and life, setting the mood of the day with a unique blossom of his choice, to the point where the vase was starting to overflow.

Now, only wilted stems and shriveled petals remained, to remind you of your place.

"What, were you wanting praise for something you're expected to do?" The young man snickered as he began to trace circles onto the surface of the table, wrinkling his nose as a thin layer of dust speckled his finger. "You exist because I allow it. Don't forget that."

You didn't provide a word in your defense.

Questions had bubbled out of your mouth as you finally reunited with your beloved "Ray." Asking about his safety, his well-being... but also shivering as you asked what had happened to Saeran, what would happen from this point forward.

"Ray" had been very careful to notice all of the suffering you endured, from the bruises on your neck to the sunken hollows in your hungry cheeks.

Not once did you jump to Saeran's defense.

"Any minute now, a delicious meal should be arriving," Saeran commented as he begrudgingly wiped the table clean. "I can't wait to savor every last crumb." He tapped his chin as though he were in deep thought. "If you amuse me enough, perhaps I can toss you some scraps."

You didn't pipe up once in protest.

The longer he kept up his facade, the more miserable Saeran began to feel. Playing the part of a lovestruck fool sent shudders of discomfort racing through him. How did Ray live like this, dragging his pathetic self around as though he were worth noticing, let alone worth remembering, let alone worth loving?

But your love for him was evident in the way that you hung on his each and every word, on the way that you were so elated to see him enter your life once again that you missed the obvious signs that the man in front of you was a fraud. Your rose-colored glasses deluded you into a false sense of security. He looked like Ray, sounded like Ray, spoke like Ray....

He would never, ever be Ray.

The shuffling of feet caught Saeran by surprise, and he dared to cast a glance in your direction. He immediately regretted doing so, because when he saw the figure that had fallen to the floor beside him, he made the mistake of trying to read your expression.

The yawning, gaping emptiness in your eyes almost swallowed him whole.

The light in your eyes, the hope, the love, shattered into pieces as your dear "Ray" laughed in your face. He'd never be back, he'd never come to your rescue. The airheaded lovebirds had flown too close to the sun, and now Saeran needed to take charge and show them where they belonged.

Why then, did he hate seeing the way your sparkle dulled and dissipated, vanishing without a trace, when you realized that Saeran, not Ray, was the one who had come to see you?

Your eyes didn't shine for Saeran. Your lips didn't move for Saeran. Your heart didn't beat for Saeran.

What was it about that weakling Ray that had managed to take the one thing Saeran truly wanted, and now he would never have?

"You don't have a thought behind those vacant eyes of yours," Saeran muttered as he turned away, ignoring the heat beginning to rise in his cheeks. "You're just my tool, my toy. And I'm going to leave you on the shelf if you don't do something to keep me entertained!" he barked at last, slamming his hands down on the table and turning towards you with a fire in his furious minty eyes.

He leaned over and grabbed you by your collar, then flung you back against the foot of the bed without a care for how forceful he was being.

Maybe if it hurt enough, you'd switch back to life.

"You... don't deserve... nice things," he snarled into your ear, leaning down until his face was a mere breath away from yours. "You're a miserable wretch whose only purpose is to be a tool for the strong. You're weak, you're foolish, you're a waste of space. You shouldn't exist... you shouldn't exist...."

Tears dotted your cheeks, growing in number as he continued to speak, each vile word causing more and more tears to flow.

He wanted to believe they were your tears, that you finally felt something, that maybe a part of the person he loved was still inside you.

But the stinging in his own eyes and the trickling of tears down his own face shattered that illusion.

"You were never meant to be happy."

He could remember the day he lost you as vividly as if he were living it for the first time.

[d1squ13tud3]

Anyway I understand why people dont let go of their gnawing desires, especially ones involving other people; one it gives you a goal to obsess over and two it would just be a shame—no one wants to let whatever hope it is go! But in terms of interpersonal relationships, what you got to do is find the people whose desires and intentions align as closely with yours as possible (the longer term the better, but of course its easier said than done at all) and also, if theres any resentment growing in your heart, its on you, the nascent resenter, to either communicate and fix this or recognize a lost (or prohibitively laborious) cause when you see it. Isn't everything an approzimation? Just gotta try and approximate as closely as possible. I've got a one track mind. It seems like the way to do is wrap up everything I REALLY want into one thing—sum of all the argument parts. If it's not foolish to do this (though I am very tempted, and not perhaps without good reason—to think that everything I want stems from the same kernel, the way generativists are desperate to find one single coherent principle, operation or schematic that explains all of language... when the neuroscientists say there's no languge center we can find, it seems to be all over the brain—well, either the generativists are wrong, or there's some principle responsible for the production of the pattern, the way you can graph out the binary representation of a collatz series)—then it's about "finding the generalization that works" and getting it, obviously a complicated process. And if I'm not foolish to do this, there's clearly nothing else worth doing ("All things prepare the event..."). But you see all around, people settling into variously close approximations of what they want. Everything in human life seems like an approximation, but geometry is real—at least in the words, and in the heads, and we can do well enough to fool the eyes. If everything you want is the manifestation of the same ultimate thing, perhaps the thing you have to be most careful about and wary of is overcommiting to something in one domain thats going to fuck up other domains, make it impossible or improbable. Its a bit like a sudoku puzzle... you'll never be able to solve it eg if you overcommit to the arrangement of two adjacent 3x3 squares and realize you've locked yourself in to having two nines in the same 9x9 row. I believe that best friends are real, I believe that best friends are real. I do believe it... though I have no good examples I personally know of in my head. Probably that means I need to do a bit more looking—for the true best friend, and also for the real life proof of best friendship... cause I love art but it does tend to lie—but then, I can't pretend that I do not in fact believe that art has the power to shape reality. Man was made in his image, after all... Lol

[enchantress-emily]

The Soft Zone(tm) Fic Rec Post

Today @ineffablefool gets his own rec post! If you’re a Good Omens fan and you like soft, romantic Aziraphale/Crowley fic, you should go read everything he’s written (assuming you haven’t already).

Some of his fic is canonverse, and some is Human AU (plus one or two non-human AUs), but all of it is guaranteed to be 100% asexual and to include a lovely fat Aziraphale and a Crowley who adores him that way.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but here are a few of my favorites:

Canonverse

Armor of Righteousness

Aziraphale, still sitting on all his feelings for Crowley months after the not-apocalypse, gets a panicked call from him, and prepares to defend him with skills last used before the Earth was formed. Will he be in time? (Spoiler, yes he will. This story takes place in the Soft Zone and I promise that nobody will get hurt.)

This fic does a really nice job of balancing the two different sides of Aziraphale: he still has formidable abilities as a Heavenly warrior, but when it comes down to it he would much rather be soft.

Correct On the Third Point

A customer tries to insult Aziraphale, but does a terrible job of it. Cuddles ensue (not with the customer).

A classic ineffablefool Spite Fic (i.e. a good strong dose of fat positivity, written in response to fatphobia elsewhere). Aziraphale is fat and doesn't see why that should be considered an insult, thank you very much, and Crowley wholeheartedly agrees.

Human AU

If Not Now, When

Anthony Crowley has learned by now that anything that makes him happy will be temporary at best. His quietly desperate routine is challenged when he happens to strike up a conversation with a customer at work, and he starts realizing three things, in this order: 1. oh huh this Aziraphale guy is actually interesting; 2. he can't stop embarrassing himself by accidentally flirting with him; and 3. oh no this Aziraphale guy is actually extremely attractive what do I do.

This is Jack's magnum opus: 28 chapters of gorgeous, moving relationship development. Both characters have a lot to work through - body image issues for Aziraphale, gender stuff and overall lack of self-worth for Crowley (who's trans here) - but they're doing it together and giving each other unfailing love and support.

Error 404: Crowley’s Brain Cell Not Found

The "information technology professional coworkers" human Ineffable Husbands AU which... someone needed, possibly. Aziraphale is very fat and very pretty, Crowley is a lovestruck disaster, and your author is an IT professional who has seen a lot in a surprisingly short amount of time.

This one is set in my own home state of Wisconsin (with A&C as British expats), which makes it especially fun to read! Most of the tech stuff goes over my head, but there are helpful explanatory footnotes. Lots of silly flirting and no angst (unless you count Crowley agonizing over whether or not Aziraphale like-likes him).

A Matching Pair of Fools

This was foolish, the whole idea was foolish, and Aziraphale himself was the greatest fool of all. Oh, he knew his sister meant well, but what she apparently didn't understand was that Aziraphale was difficult. He was difficult to love, to even tolerate, with his very particular standards on everything from attire to zebra crossings. To expect a stranger to overlook all of that… (Human AU. Pre-blind-date anxiety followed by Lots Of Soft.)

Aziraphale works himself up into an anxiety attack about his impending blind date and is comforted by a handsome stranger... who just so happens to be on his way to a blind date himself. Includes one of the best descriptions I've ever read of Aziraphale's happy little wiggle.

Pins (rolling or otherwise)

Aziraphale was just contemplating closing up the bakery a few minutes early, when a last-minute customer walked in, saw him, and immediately began blushing and mumbling. (Human AU, Aziraphale is a baker, Crowley is a disaster)

A sweet little meet-cute with a genderfluid Crowley, a confident Aziraphale, and a very nice moment of asexual connection.

[aliyya-atta]

Abandon

I opened my eyes; the only thing that I could see was darkness. I am unable to understand. It seems that I am in a state of obscurity. Oh! God, where am I? Where am I? The only thing there was visible darkness all around. It was like dungeon or a prison. It is so dark here. Am I kidnapped?. I called for help, but I could not split a word out. I realized that nobody could hear my voice. Suddenly, I realized that I was speaking in my head. I called for help several times, but nobody came. I am sacred. My throat was choking. I could listen to my eco. I tried to move my hands, but they were; fastened. (They were fettered with long metal chains). I couldn't breathe. Please let me out. Please! Let me out. I haven't done anything wrong. (round smiling face, almond eyes, button nose, and chubby cheeks). Tears were coming out. What did I do?. Did I do something wrong?. Why am I tied up? What did I do ?. I am not the one whom you are punishing. (I was saying this in a shrieking voice.) .

Who! Should I punish?. They are the ones who have destroyed my life. (An unpleasant and harsh voice came.).

Who are you?. Please! Show yourself. Why should I reveal myself? You could not get a glimpse of me because I am dark as a shadow. Like vampires, shadows like to be unknown. Why! I can't see you?. Cause I told you I am a shadow. I am the reflection of your fiction. (Sobbing sound was there.) . What? Why am I here ?. I haven't done anything wrong with you. I am innocent, please! Believe me. (I said in a sobbing sound ). You are an uninformed person!. You think you are innocent. (An arrogant shadow said in a loud voice). You fool, you think you have not done anything. You are just a useless person. (cold ).

Furthermore, you are right: Am I a useless person?. Not only that, but you are right; I am not capable of doing anything right. I always break things around me. (pain in her eyes). But it was not my choice. "If God asked me do I want to live in this world? "."Then my answer would be I have to live. This world is harsh and selfish. But, what took place I ended up here in this world. "(shrinking and painful voice, tears were rolling down).

Hahaha, what a pathetic thought. You are a coward person: You could not do anything well in your life. You will end up in this dark dungeon. Your parents and your friends are right: You are an ugly duckling. You are an imperfect person for this perfect world; MISS ALIYA! YOU ARE NOTHING. (He raised his voice ). "It is not your fantasy world. It is not your imaginary world. You think that all the things would happen according to your imagination. But let me tell you, your fantasy had made you a sick person. You always look like a dumb and unconfident person. That is why people consider you dumb; Because it is easy for them to snatch you. Do not blame everyone for your foolishness."

"I do not have any friends: I am the left one. I am a betrayed person, I am not ill. It does not mean that I am a sick person. Why shouldn't I blame them?. They bully me always. They always do a prank on me: They are rascals. They are the ones who stick bubble gum on my chair: They threw my books, they laugh at me. They make fun of me and joke about me."(Flashbacks with pain. A painful look on her face).

And who let them do this? You let them laugh at you. (Me, I did not let them do this.) Cause you do not have the tongue to stop them. Do not you have? But I forget (with a laugh). You could not say anything because you did not have the courage. You are a scary cat. And this world does not belong to the cowardly person. You have to fight like a warrior, or you can end up committing suicide. It always depends on you.

It does not depend upon me. I belong to a broken family: My parents do not have any time for me. They are always cruel to each other. They do not have any time. When I failed, they said, 'I cannot do anything.' They are both egoistic people. They have only time for fighting. If they listened to me, then those people would not bully me.

Hahaha, now you are blaming your parents. What! A shame. Now you do not have anybody to blame. Now you are blaming them. What a great idea of blaming?. I must say I am amused. Wow! What a great idea of blaming others. Why won't you blame yourself?. Why don't you say that you are a scared cat?. What! A shame.

Then you tell me what I can do. Why won't they stop? If they stop, then, I won't have anyone to blame. Then I wouldn't have to blame anyone. Then I wouldn't have to cry.

Hahaha, again your hallucination. O! You know what, you are the biggest enemy of yourself. Nobody can help you. He would be the biggest loser who tried to help you because you found yourself a pity. Stop mounting on people. Be the sailor of your ship. But you wouldn't understand. You love to be assisted by others. You love what people say about you; “That is a poor girl". You love to be a slave. You are a loser, and you will always be a loser. You know you should die. Miss aliya! Suicide. I think this is the best solution for all of your problems.

After saying that, he went out.

Maybe he is right. I should commit. That is not fair.

"The most painful fight in this world is with yourself."

We can fight with him.

Who are you?. I am your inner voice. I am here to help you. Before doing anything, please! Listen to me. It's a request. Please! For a few seconds, listen to me.

I know when a person breaks, what happens. I know that pain. I am in you and I know what's going inside. We are humans: we have to go through phases. We are meant to go through them. If you want to become a strong person, you have to go through them. I know it's hard, but you are an artist. Everybody is an artist of their life, just paint your life again. You know what, when a person draws an art, it's only black and white. But when he painted that art with different colors, it became magnificent. It becomes the image of your vision. You know what everyone has their favorite color, but I believe there are so many colors in this world. Then why do people choose one color as their favorite color You know what I believe every color is beautiful. Sometimes color describes your inner- self. Sometimes they reveal the mask of the other person. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. But thinking that suicide solves it, you are wrong. The thing is that solutions are everywhere. Just give yourself a second chance. Just be yourself. See the beauty in everyone. Some people can be ignored easily. Just don't listen to everyone. Just listen to yourself. Just see the beauty in every color. Then you won't hate anyone, if a person makes fun of you see his real color deep inside he was also broken, or see that his heart is darkened by his actions. . You can't change everyone. You can do at least one thing just ignore that person, and you feel relief. We are humans; we need a relief break. We are humans, we need a relief break. Pain makes you stronger. You can't feel true happiness until you face pain. I know it's hard, but look around every person in this world everyone has suffered through the pain. I know it's hard to get over it. But we are in this together. We can't live without each other. I am your inner voice. I will always guide you. Without me you are an animal; with me, you are a human. We all have emotions, but sometimes too much pain can't be described by words; there are no such words to describe them. We only cry. Just rub your eyes and listen to me paint your life again. When you are scared, just call me, I will be there. Start to ignore those fools because you are more talented. You are an artist. Be the artist of your own life.

When I was fifteen, I thought the same way you are thinking now. But the thing is that close your eyes and, "Paint your life again". It helps a lot. See the vision, then become the image of your vision. When you are lost then listen to it; it will help you. Fight with your negative thoughts. My child, they harm you; they want to kill you inside out. I am there to help you.

[demytasse]

Which sin do you think Izaya would be? I was thinking Envy or Pride, but I can't decide which :/

Ohohoho~ you've come to the right person! One who shakes off their drowsy, morning fog upon reading a prompt such as this and speaks to the void in absence of the opinion seeker, "ah yes, this aligns with my interest—to feverishly research what will back or deny my instinct, and humour my guilty pleasure to gain or refine my knowledge, that of a topic that I'm no guru." To whom will immediately dash to the keys, gulp down their coffee, and pay no mind to the outside world in order to fulfil the request and voice the following (as well the preceding to the priorly proffered following, and seemingly the proceeding to the original intent of the initial following)...

*ahem* Let's disregard my caffeine-induced wordplay.

     Envy—would be the quickest assessment of Izaya as he has a proclivity to be envious of others. Specifically, he’s coloured green by what Shinra had at a young age, a life-defining and adamantly sought after goal while he was aimless; of what Shizuo gained over time, the world’s acceptance of his dirty soul, and furthermore he’s jealous of the sentimental bonds that other acquaintances have. Greedily, without cognisance, he wants what others have: acceptance and a connection to humankind even though he wants to believe that he doesn’t desire to have it.

Though all in all, Pride covers his entire character.

Pride is the most serious of the seven sins and with it brings the highest punishment; it’s believed that the devil himself was wrapped so tightly with pride that it transformed him into his namesake. It’s the definition of selfishness and egocentric ideals—a perversion from seeing oneself as part of humanity, one of a community, at level with thy neighbour and equal to one’s peers. Simply, sinners of Pride don’t consider themselves average but superior to others as a god. Right out of the gate, those aspects can be connected to Izaya, and to set a keen visual to his prideful air is the ever-so-poignant scene—of him looming above his chessboard while he’s setting the stage and circumstances for the Raira trio and defining the roles of other people in his game. I would stick a screenshot here, but I’ve already used it for a long-ago analysis, and with the internet’s prevalent use of it, if you don’t know exactly what I’m talking about, assuredly you can type ‘Izaya’ into Google and it would show up on the first page...I didn’t check that claim, I’m not going to check...so let’s not quote my joke... Anyhoo! Back to the point of Pride: those who are defined by the sin tend to put themselves and their desires above all others, therefore anything they do in pursuit of whatever they want is paramount; any sacrifice is warranted and easily brushed aside as justifiable.

And Izaya acts all according to his will. He steps on others and sacrifices people in order to reach his achievement—or enlightenment as he would say. Perhaps it’s his claim that human observation is an innocent hobby, but it’s not simply as such. Ultimately his playful deeds are what other people might define as acts of evil and with that, he’s their villain. Rather explicitly he doesn’t see himself as a sinner for his hobby, just an indulgent, admittedly narrow-minded and focused. Though that matters little in this case, as he tends to ignore the immoral aspect of what he does, and it’s not even a thought in his mind that he should atone for how he negatively affects others—individually or as a whole—and that isn’t exactly something admirable, more so narcissistic.

Even so, it’s an echoed fandom assessment that Izaya is mentally weak, in spite of that he’s intelligently strong, unrelentingly foolish, and stupidly purposes his cunning and wit—he’s his own foil that destroys himself; it’s a sinner of Pride whom constantly puts themselves on the chopping block as a slave of their will just as outside parties are.

(I nod at Wikipedia ingratitude of the following quotes, not to say I only referenced the site, ahaha...seriously.)

“What the weak head with strongest bias rules, Is pride, the never-failing vice of fools.”

"(The proud man) is like a partridge in its cage acting as a decoy; like a spy,he watches for your weaknesses. He changes good things into evil, he lays his traps. Just as a spark sets coals on fire, the wicked man prepares his snares in order to draw blood. Beware of the wicked man for he is planning evil."

     Now, it’s a common defence of Izaya that he’s not evil, and overall that’s true of his character. However, to properly pin him a sin it’s important to consider how others perceive him as vanity is innately tied to society and he very much cares of his image—it’s that intense focus of how one is positively or negatively viewed that’s a direct attribute of Pride. So while Izaya’s intent and furthermore actions are self-indulgent and not specifically to toy with others, it’s how others feel themselves to be victims, tangled in intricately set up traps that make his deeds seem ill-conceived and make him evil to the public eye. Really, who’s to blame them? Izaya’s not exactly innocent, I’m sorry (not sorry) to say. And finally, in acknowledgement of hubris; overconfidence and arrogance—prideful behaviours that are driven by ego are foolish challenges to the gods, acts committed in order to be seen as worthy beings of prestige and high regard. To which this should go without saying: that pomp and circumstance, that flamboyant charade and dance is exactly Izaya’s purpose of his trials, it’s inexplicably what rules his character arc, as he desperately flounders to gain worthy attention of a certain valkyrie to seek admittance into Valhalla. What a fool he was to head in that direction. It’s alright to say that I overuse that pun.

     So yeah, to sum it up, Izaya’s a greedy little ball of envy, but he shades himself with an umbrella of Pride.

[shieldofrohan]

I was struck by your idea that there may be a Jonsa political marriage in TWOW or early in ADOS because I could NOT figure out why they made all those parallels between them and Ned/Cat in the show without addressing it. But, your idea worries me because in s7 they compared J/D to Rhaegar/Lyanna, and while I can't imagine Jon being unfaithful, Dany falling in love with Jon was what brought her North. So how does that/the love triangle we saw on the show play out if Jonsa is already married?

Hello @esther-dot! First of all thank you for your ask, people don’t ask me anything usually so your ask made me really happy. 

I wrote a long answer I guess, sorry :

First let me say that: I think we are giving too much credit to show. After S4 the show kind of stopped following the books. I mean look at the S5 Ramsay/Sansa nonsense. D&D made it clear that GRRM gave them some important scenes for them to work with so I see the show as a slide-show of some scenes from books tbh. For example the arrival of the Knights of the Vale was sth you can find the hints of it in the books. Or the trial and death of Baelish by the hand of Sansa. Even the death of Daenerys was foreshadowed in the books. But the plots to get to those scenes were all D&D if you ask me. So they had to fill the gaps and they did it how they wanted. 

At this point I really can’t see a version of Asoiaf without a jonsa plot. Jonsa is the most foreshadowed plot in the books. The hints are starting in the prologue of the AGOT and they keep going in the AFFC and ADWD, and you can even find hints in other books of GRRM. Jonsa foreshadowings are surrounded by marriage and children imagery. So not having a jonsa marriage or kids seems unlikely to me. 

I am looking at the j*nerys foreshadowings and they are all about them being enemies. For example these two chapters that follow each other:

“No. Dany shivered. No, no, oh no.“Are you deaf, fool?” Reznak mo Reznak demanded of the man. “Did you not hear my pronouncement? See my factors on the morrow, and you shall be paid for your sheep.” “Reznak,” Ser Barristan said quietly, “hold your tongue and open your eyes. Those are no sheep bones.” No, Dany thought, those are the bones of a child.”

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

*

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen’s men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. “There is power in a king’s blood,” the old maester had warned, “and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this.” The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames.

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

***

The next morning Xaro’s galleas was gone, but the “gift” that he had brought her remained behind in Slaver’s Bay. Long red streamers flew from the masts of the thirteen Qartheen galleys, writhing in the wind. And when Daenerys descended to hold court, a messenger from the ships awaited her. He spoke no word but laid at her feet a black satin pillow, upon which rested a single bloodstained glove. “What is this?” Skahaz demanded. “A bloody glove …” “… means war,” said the queen.

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

*

As they did their count, Jon peeled the glove off his left hand and touched the nearest haunch of venison. He could feel his fingers sticking, and when he pulled them back he lost a bit of skin. His fingertips were numb. What did you expect? There’s a mountain of ice above your head, more tons than even Bowen Marsh could count. Even so, the room felt colder than it should.“It is worse than I feared, my lord,” Marsh announced when he was done. He sounded gloomier than Dolorous Edd.Jon had just been thinking that all the meat in the world surrounded them. You know nothing, Jon Snow. “How so? This seems a deal of food to me.”

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

***

Dizzy, Dany closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she glimpsed the Meereenese beneath her through a haze of tears and dust, pouring up the steps and out into the streets.The lash was still in her hand. She flicked it against Drogon’s neck and cried, “Higher!” Her other hand clutched at his scales, her fingers scrabbling for purchase. Drogon’s wide black wings beat the air. Dany could feel the heat of him between her thighs. Her heart felt as if it were about to burst. Yes, she thought, yes, now, now, do it, do it, take me, take me, FLY!”

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

*

Jon clasped the offered hand. The words of his oath rang through his head. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men.

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

***

I really try to see some romantic hints in those but I can’t find them. So why did D&D choose to do j*nerys instead of jonsa? Let’s face it: Their main audience are locals and Dany lovers. People were waiting them to bang... (ew). And when he was asked about Grrm’s intentions about Jon and Dany, Alan Taylor (director) said that he can’t tell what Grrm said because it is a S8 twist. So even the most j*nerys shipper director couldn’t confirm that j*nerys was sth Grrm told them about. What Grrm told them was a S8 twist, which turned out to be Jon killing Daenerys. I bet they chose the route of a romance instead of them being enemies (Dance of Dragons 2.0 ?!?!?!) so they could shock the audience with the final twist (a poor choice i must say).

So what I am trying to say is that: j*nerys is probably not a book thing. Or at least it can only be one sided in the books. Look at the S7-8 Jon Snow.. they made him so OOC to be in love with Dany... I am sure that Book!Jon won’t be in love with Dany. To be fair, I even can’t see Jon in Dragonstone or etc. Traveling during a White Walker threat is not a good idea. He won’t have such a time to go to DS and fall in love with someone like Dany. Dany is a combination of Cersei, Joffrey, Stannis, Selyse and Melisandre... Can you imagine Jon falling for those? No I don’t think so. I mean there is even dragon glass in Skagos... why would he bother to go DS? And we know that Dragons don’t like North and I can’t image using the fire threat to beat the ice threat... So her dragons won’t be the main forces against the Others. 

I tried to explain why Show!J*nerys was so forced to please the audience and how it was a fan service plot. But still an one-sided j*nerys can happen in the books. There are more foreshowings for this tbh. I am imaging an Aerys-Joanna-Tywin kind of triangle in the books. 

I mean look at this: (I have examined the Jon chapters that follow Dany ones in the ADWD and there were some interesting things. Maybe i’ll write a meta about them one day but for now let’s focus on one hint that I found interesting)

“I want to know. I never knew my father. I want to know everything about him. The good and … the rest.” “As you command.” The white knight chose his words with care. “Prince Aerys … as a youth, he was taken with a certain lady of Casterly Rock, a cousin of Tywin Lannister. When she and Tywin wed, your father drank too much wine at the wedding feast and was heard to say that it was a great pity that the lord’s right to the first night had been abolished. A drunken jape, no more, but Tywin Lannister was not a man to forget such words, or the … the liberties your father took during the bedding.” His face reddened. “I have said too much, Your Grace. I—”

[...]

How beautiful, the queen tried to tell herself, but inside her was some foolish little girl who could not help but look about for Daario. If he loved you, he would come and carry you off at swordpoint, as Rhaegar carried off his northern girl, the girl in her insisted, but the queen knew that was folly.

[A Dance with Dragons; Daenerys]

This is Daenerys’ wedding chapter and she learns about her father’s jealousy about Tywin and Joanna’s marriage. 

And bonus: she also wishes that Daario to take her away like Rhaegar did with his Stark lady. So in her wedding chapter she mentions the love between a Targaryen prince and a Stark lady. 

But she also knows that no one is coming for her. 

And Jon chapter follows this chapter. And he talks about: his dislike for Selyse and Melisandre, kinslaying, daggers in dark, the grey girl. So he won’t like Daenerys either, kinslaying is an important hint (both for Dany-Viserys and Jon-Daenerys) and I bet that Grey Girl is Sansa. 

Now we know that Dany is Aerys 2.0 with dragons and she will end what her father has started by burning down KL. So in this triangle Dany is Aerys. 

And who are Joanna and Tywin? 

The first J+T pair she’ll meet will be Aegon and Arianna probably. They are cousins too and Aegon chose not to be just a consort to his aunt by marrying her, so he’ll probably choose Arianne to gain Dorne’s support. I always consider Aegon (fake or not) and Arianne as a warning for Daenerys about Jonsa. Aegon has parallels with Sansa and Jon (secret identity with different hair color and secret Targ parentage etc). And Arianne has parallels with Sansa (The girl in the tower trope). So those two will be a test for Daenerys before she meets with Jon and Sansa. But her main test will be with Jonsa.

Jonsa fit into Joanna/Tywin pair more. They are cousins and they grew up together and after them being reunited they will be very important for each other. 

And let’s not forget about the fact that Tywin was the Hand of Aerys and he betrayed him and his son Jaime killed Aerys in the throne room... We are all aware of the parallels between Jaime and Jon already. But Jon was also her adviser and she wanted to rule the 7K with him. But in the end he betrayed her. I believe that Jon’s Ygritte arc might be useful for him to lure Dany into some false trust. But him sleeping with her and loving her and later lose her in his arms sounds like a cheap copy of Ygritte/Jon plot and it makes no sense. 

I think Dany will be taken with him and he’ll use this but it doesn’t mean that they will be lovers. Because it seems like Grrm is going to use RLJ in Jon’s romantic life (like he planned in the original/first outline with Jon-Arya romance). And RLJ has no effect on j*nerys. They can still f*ck and marry... 

I mean Grrm even put an uncle-niece marriage (Jonnel-Sansa Stark!!) in the Stark family tree to show that Starks have no problem with marrying with their uncles/aunts etc. Grrm only considers the marriages between siblings and parent-children as incest. So j*nerys is not a doomed love. But for jonsa; RLJ makes everything smooth. Therefore RLJ must be used in jonsa plot.

So Dany is the Aerys of the triangle and no Targaryen prince will come for her because they are busy with their Stark ladies. (Rhaegar- Lyanna and also maybe Jacaerys and Sara Snow?) 

To explain the early Jonsa political marriage, I must say that I was inspired by the Grand Northern Conspiracy. According to this theory, Howland Reed is the keeper of Robb’s Will about Jon and he is also the one who knows about RLJ. 

It does not go north with Galbart Glover and Maege Mormont, who expressly carry false letters, and is often feared lost at the Twins in the chaos following the Red Wedding. Another possibility, however, is that the document was secreted away in Hag’s Mire and has now been retrieved by Lady Stoneheart. Who in turn, for a real kicker of an ironic twist, delivers the suspected proof of Jon’s kingship to Greywater Watch for safekeeping, care of Howland Reed, who then knows more of the crowns Jon’s entitled to than any other man living in the world of ASOIAF.

https://zincpiccalilli.tumblr.com/post/52748381148

Let’s accept this theory and say that Howland has the Will. Without his proof other lords can’t just announce Jon as the KITN. I believe that Howland will be present at Winterfell to show the Will. But Howland was also a friend of Ned Stark. And he is loyal to House Stark. He kept RLJ as secret for years to protect the Starks and Jon from Robert’s wrath. But Robert is dead and he has no reason to keep this secret anymore. And I can’t imagine him sitting quietly while other lords declare Jon as the King while a true born Stark (Sansa) is sitting right there. He wouldn’t betray Ned’s memory like that. So he’ll spill the tea with RLJ too. And after that maybe Sansa will finally have some agency for her choice of husband. So them together will be the one answer of North’s all wishes. 

And let’s not forget that GRRM said he knows which characters will end up married. But in the show there was no marriage. So I am still waiting a marriage. 

And even with an early Jonsa marriage, Jon and Dany might still meet. Imagine S7 with a married Jonsa. Jon leaves Sansa to fight a battle. It would be a great parallel with NedCat. Ned left Cat while she was pregnant to go to war. And maybe there will be rumors about Jon and Dragon Queen just like how Ned betrayed Cat. But like Ned, Jon would be loyal to Sansa and North too in truth. 

Maybe Jon will gain Dany’s trust and help her against Aegon. And return she’ll accept to help North. But in the end I don’t think that Dany will come/or stay in North. Also in the Jon chapter that comes after Dany one, Jon was warned against Dragons:

“Salladhor Saan?” “The Lysene pirate? Some say he has returned to his old haunts, this is so. And Lord Redwyne’s war fleet creeps through the Broken Arm as well. On its way home, no doubt. But these men and their ships are well-known to us. No, these other sails … from farther east, perhaps … one hears queer talk of dragons.” “Would that we had one here. A dragon might warm things up a bit.” “My lord jests. You will forgive me if I do not laugh. We Braavosi are descended from those who fled Valyria and the wroth of its dragonlords. We do not jape of dragons.” No, I suppose not. “My apologies, Lord Tycho.”

[A Dance with Dragons; Jon]

Maybe Dany will want sth more from Jon and will be jealous of Jon and Sansa just like her father was jealous of Tywin and Joanna. Maybe Jon will betray her in most unexpected time just like Tywin betrayed Aerys. 

Btw I am still waiting for a battle between Daenerys and Jon in Trident after he betrayed Dany. (You know Dany dreamed about a fighting against an usurper in ice armor in Trident... Jon will be the Usurper because he’ll be the King of North and Dany will see North as a part of her Kingdom.)

So my timeline would be like this:

- Jon and Sansa reunite and take North back

- The Will and RLJ happen and they unite their claims by marriage

- A dance between Aegon and Daenerys and she loses a dragon

- Jon gains her trust only to use her and pacify her to protect the North during the Dance

- Him refusing the bend the knee and them becoming enemies

- Daenerys loses one of her dragons

- Daenerys and Euron being a chaotic duo for Westeros

- Daenerys burns down KL and marches to North for revenge

- North (aka Jon) vs Daenerys in Trident

- Daenerys dies and Drogon gets hurt

- Jon refusing the throne so he can go back to North (the Duncan of Dragonflies jumped out)

- Bran becomes King

- Jon returns North to fight against the Others etc. (I refuse believe that he’ll be punished and sent back to Wall? Grrm literally has to kill him to free him from Night’s Watch so I don’t see him returning there)

- Epiloge. 

***

Well I talked too much about too many things but I hope my answer was not such a bullsh*t :) 

Thanks again for the ask. Let me know your thoughts. 

[shadowtarot]

(Thieves in Inaba) While everyone is trying to find a way out of their predicament, Yu is battling his own problem and I get the feeling that inside his head rn, is kinda like his own dungeon if he had a shadow. TV's with static everywhere and fog so thick that he can't see anything.

Thieves In Inaba Part 46

Deep within Yu’s mind, he’s in Magestu Inaba…TVs litter the area that are depict his friends enjoying life. His image is among them, but frozen and static-like as if he was never there. Every scene is from his past, or some that are yet to be. 

“This is your fate, Seeker.” The taunting voice of the Deathbringer laughs. “You are but a fleeting memory in those you foolishly put faith in. What are you then just some desperate pup, begging for love when you can’t even express it yourself?”

Yu silently nods in agreement as he looks to his image start to fade away from each memory depicted on the TV before the images turn to a blood red and white static that matches the area. 

Deathbringer then steps out, looking once again more human but this time decked out in a Yasogami boys uniform. Scythe in hand he leans forward, using it almost like a cane. “Despite my best efforts to keep you cursed, there’s still traces of you fighting to break free. As to be expected after what you saw with Minato.” He laughs. “But rest assured, I will not fail to see your punishment through to the end.” 

He puts his clawed hand on Yu’s right cheek, and grants him a sadistic grin. “There’s no reason to fight it, this is the fate of all sinners after all.”

A faint voice can be heard. It’s calling out, pleading…it’s a voice all too familiar to Yu. 

“If you can hear me at all Yu, fight it! Please! I’m not letting you just ditch me like this, not after everything we’ve been though! Please! There’s so much I still gotta tell you….” 

“…Yosuke…” Yu’s eyes start to regain the light they once had, and he starts to slowly rise to his feet.

“What?! How the hell did you break free?! I made sure no one could reach your Velvet Room this time!” Deathbringer hisses.

“Bonds of people are the true power, especially for me.” Yu smirks. “Oh, and thanks for keeping your end of the bargain. If you didn’t then maybe I really would have fallen to your spell.” With that, he draws his Katana.

“My mind is my own and YOU’RE NOT WELCOME IN IT!” He summons Izanagi and begins to do battle against the Deathbringer, two versus one.

On the outside, Yu can be seen glowing just a bit. This takes Yosuke aback a bit. “W-What the hell did I do? Is that good or..?” 

“It should be a sign that your words are getting through to him. Keep going Yosuke, he still has to eject that spook from his brain!” Teddie looks serious as he speaks. 

“R-Right! Come on Yu, you can win this. You’re not alone, you have so many people who care about you and would be upset if you suddenly stopped showing up…so fight! Kick his ass!”

Yu nods, and fights even harder. “I have friends, family who care. No illusion or curse can change that fact. I might fear abandonment, but as long as I have people who care for me I am never alone.” Yu sends an electrifying strike that slices the Deathbringer’s scythe in two. 

“But..how?!” 

“This is my mind, so anything I can think of goes…” And as if on cue, copies of his friends surround the two of them. Yu smirks. “The power of cognition is saying I’ve already won. Concede or I’ll show no mercy.”

“Tch, foolish human. Even if you defeat me here, you will not have won the war. I wouldn’t waste time entering your mind fully.” The ghoul snarls. 

“Suit yourself then. Everyone, act on your own.” 

Yosuke is sitting there, looking and staring at his friend. He keeps hoping and praying he will wake up.”Come on…please…” 

Yu stirs, the static that was in his eyes fading away slowly. Yosuke’s eyes widen, and all he can think to do is hug him. 

“You idiot, that’s for girls.” Yu jokes.

“S-Shut up! I was freaking worried okay?!”

They both laugh, fears and anxieties being melted away all at once. Youske eventually lets go, only for Teddie to hug Yu tightly.

“BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SENSEI! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONNER!” He cries. 

“And to think, he was the one keeping me calm this whole time. Stupid bear…” 

Yu comforts Teddie until he calms down, and the shadow boy releases his friend. The silver haired Fool then looks over to Yosuke. “Hm, ‘So many things left to tell you’ huh? Care to share?” 

“I uh…” The brown haired Magician jumps a bit. “Well would you look at that? Haha! I seem to have forgotten in all my panic.” 

Yu gives a small nod and looks to Teddie. “Hey Teddie, do you mind guarding the outside portion of the door for us? Something about this room feels odd to me but I don’t want a sneak attack happening on us while I’m still recovering.” 

Hopping back into his bear suit, the mascot gives a hammy salute. “Yessir Sensei sir! I’ll be the beary best guard ever!” With that he heads out. 

“Okay now seriously Yosuke, what’s up?” Yu gives his friend a curious look, which is responded with an avoidance of eye contact. Whatever could this be about….?