#There's really nothing more to add to this.

[tprings-hair]

I'm going to say something about the new unification short film that I haven't seen anyone here say yet.

I love the handholding scene. massively impactful. I love the echo of "this simple feeling" from the motion picture and the genesis reference and the idea that spock did not die alone or among strangers. it's just so satisfying after all this time to know that even shatner knew it was wrong and needed to be approached with more compassion for nimoy and the fans who loved these characters and knew they should be together at the end, whatever that looked like.

but you know what really got me?

this minute or so. kirk confronting his old selves. because that's obviously original series kirk right there in the gold uniform.

and the other? THAT'S HIM!!

(I'm linking it this way because you apparently can't add more than one video to a post and I need it here for demonstration.)

so we have present kirk walking down a dark hallway. at the end is spock, but at the end is also spock's death. how can he step forward and face that? what happened to the way he used to think about death?

yellow shirt is TOS kirk, who had always found a way around the problem and never (if the movies are to be believed) had to face death straight on. he's looking forward with confidence. there's no way spock is dying. there's a way out of this somehow, if only he can find it.

TOS kirk looks back the way he came, because he believes he can go back. he can always go back. the series always resets to the same characters who can be depended on to take similar actions, because that's what a serial is, and that's who he is. things have taken their toll on him, but he knows he can take the hit and keep moving.

but he stops when he's faces with WOK kirk. the one in the red dress uniform, who has lost spock and knows what it is to live without him. who has faced death in a way he had never had to before, because the constraints of the series never allowed it. he has been changed because of it.

TOS kirk sees that, and does that sort of posturing that he always does in front of someone who's threatening him. but WOK kirk isn't threatening him. he's just living through something TOS kirk hasn't had to face yet. it's him staring his past self in the face and telling him, kindly and firmly, you know nothing about how it will feel. you will never be the same without him.

and TOS kirk looks back again, and there's a present kirk, wearing his generations uniform. this is kirk having turned that grief to a desperate search for the most important person in his life, and emerged with spock by his side. he's not the same, but he's made it through. of course TOS kirk would look to that.

and as our kirk looks at these people he used to be, they vanish in front of him. he remembers the way he used to think about losing spock. the fear, the grief, the hope. there's no hope left. when he reaches the end, spock will be there, and it will be their last time together.

but he puts the pin back on, and reminds himself of his duty not just to a fellow officer, but to a friend, to the most important person in his life, and to himself. spock should not be alone, and he never got to say goodbye properly before. doing it now is the least he can do.

that's his ultimate responsibility in that moment: being there for spock. that's been his ultimate responsibility from the beginning. and this is shatner acknowledging that they deserved an ending that fit that truth.

[wholockiantabs]

Things from my own experience:

Eating is better than not eating. You should always have some kind of quick and easy to make thing ready if you really can't bring yourself to make stuff. I usually have some single serving cups of mac and cheese or mashed potatoes (the ones where you just add water and heat it in a microwave), or I have some frozen stuff I can also just shove in the microwave for a few minutes. Yeah, it's not super healthy for me, but it's food. And that's more important than starving myself.

I have a lot of teeth issues from years of not having access to a dentist and because my teeth are crammed together way too tight, so I can abide by the flossing/tongue scraper suggestion if brushing seems like too much. I will probably start doing the mouthwash one if nothing else because I can incorporate that into my current schedule.

I have safe foods that I will eat for days/weeks/months straight and I will not get tired of it. If your routine works for you, then it's not anyone else's business.

It's a little pricier, depending on what kind you get, but I can also recommend those little drinkable yogurt bottles if you're in a rush but still want to get something inside of you. I also drink them in the morning because I cannot handle any kind of food when I'm up, but since it's a liquid, my brain doesn't count it as food. I drink the Chobani Greek Yogurt ones and they're perfect.

My mum rarely uses a cane even when she needs it because of how it looks (or how she perceives it to look) so we should start normalizing anyone of any age who needs any kind of mobility aid like canes and rollers.

If doing something "out of the ordinary" makes your life easier, then yes, do it!

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

[mikamii25]

HEEYYY I SAW YOURE BORED AND WANTED REQUEST.

So I wanna request Mr.Scarlettella With MC who has cuteness aggression. And her being a bit...gorey with her saying while squishing his face like "You're so cute I want to squash your face, peel your skin until I reach your bone and throw you into meat dispenser" OR SOMETHHING LIKE THAT. And then she walks away/ or continue to do smth normal.

I wanna see what he reacts and do lolol. Feel free to add more of him CUS I NEED MORE OF MY MAN

ok.. so I know I said I was gonna stay loyal to Mr crawling.. BUT OH MY GOD MR SCARLETELLA 👅 (me crawling is my #1 tho, never forget 😠)

(Headcannons) Mr scarletella with an Extreme cuteness aggression reader!!

Warnings: Memtions of Blood and some implanted NSFW 👅

more under cut!!!

First of, bro would absolutely enjoy your cuteness aggression 10000000%

literally LOVES it when you say you could squeeze him to death n stuff like that.

honestly he finds in cute when you give him ANY compliments.

busts a nut gets so happy when you tell him he’s so pretty and you just wanna pinch his cheeks, even though you can’t reach!

When you start getting more aggressive with saying things like “you’re so cute I just wanna bite you till you bleed” and “gaah! I just wanna cut your body up into pieces and carry your bloody parts around with me!” Or “I love your cute face so much I just wanna stab you to death!!” He gets really excited… for some reason.

gets really sad after you walk away and just pretend like nothing happened tho. He just wants your undivided love and attention!! Won’t you give him more cute comments like that? He doesn’t really care how gorey it is!

one time after you said some stuff like “I just want you covered in blood, for me! That would be so cute!” He surprised you. The next time you saw him, he was covered in dark red blood. All over him.

he asked you if you thought he was cute. Umm obviously said yes!!! He’s so cute like that, all bloody for you!

you’d eventually want to get the blood off of him, so you run him a bath and you wash him squeaky clean!

after the bath, he just won’t let go of you. After all that cuteness aggression towards him. All he wants is more affection.

sooo… you drag him to your room. And let’s just say, you helped him fulfill his needs 😗

SORRY THIS IS SHORTER THAN I EXPECTED 😭

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[shapelytimber]

Updated my au's recap to add Tarkin and Krennic :)

And of course I updated The Science

[COMMISSIONS]

(also fixed Sabé's sexuality ! Thank you to the Sabé connoisseurs for letting me know she has a canonical boyfriend at one point ! xoxo)

Yapping below vvv

Welcome to me and my struggle with imperial military uniforms fjdkdkk they just so boring and often khaki-

For Tarkin I took inspiration from a Star Trek concept that I'm so mad isn't a thing in Star Wars... The dress uniform ! The classy, just for show, uncomfortable version of classic uniforms ! (Couldn't believe that wasn't already a thing in sw, but when I searched for it I stumbled upon a sub reddit called "the empire did nothing wrong" and sometimes self care is to not clic on the clearly far right corner of your fandom to look upon a shitty fan made alterations of imperial uniforms 🌸)

Also, I had to make a choice here... Do I make the empire more strict when it comes to gender norms and expectations i.e do I put Tarkin in a skirt gkkgkffn like, I already kinda did that with both Tarkin and Krennic keeping their hair long. But in canon imperial uniforms are unisex and the same for everyone, which is great to like know the imperial military (in universe at least) doesn't do sexism a lot.... But once again, the canon uniforms are a bit boring to draw, they don't have the more classy ones you would wear for special occasions and frankly if you want a side to show more gender inequality would you pick the mismatched rebels fighting for their rights and to overthrow the government, or the established force in power that is also incidentally an empire that took inspirations from a real far right party hmmmmm

Let's look at what I made different about the empire in my au, a) Palpatine is a woman, they have an empress but b) said empress force masced her apprentice and made *him* the figure head of her empire. When you think of the empire you don't picture an old woman in a bathrobe, you picture Vader, a tall muscular cyborg with no face a glowy sword and evil telekinesis.... That is gendered in the masculine (still a dyke tho, but random civilians wouldn't know that- they don't even know if he's human). Having a woman lead a fascist empire doesn't make it better- (in my country, France, the far right party has been lead by a woman for the last 20 years and that doesn't make it fucking better)

All this to say I put her in pants fjkdkd tested with a skirt but it felt too uncanny.

And I also made her stand in the worst position to draw (for me at least) : perfectly facing the camera with a stick up her ass and at parade rest so with her hands behind her back fjkddk I struggled so hard to make it look somewhat good, and I'm still not really satisfied- also Peter Cushing's face with a hat that covers his forehead looks very wrong to me fjfkk

But enough about Tarkin ! For Krennic I also modified the uniform :D (for a second time jfofk link to the first post with another version of her uniform), but hers isn't the fancy version, it's very much her work clothes ! Still trying to distinguish her from the classic military, since she is more of an engineer/architect, so she get heels, slutty white gloves and a dramatic cape coat. Also I loved putting her in a very strict outfit but making it a bit messy in small ways kgfkgj one side of it isn't zipped all the way down, and her hair is coming down from her hasty made bun :)))

PS : one must always picture the death star as the third member of this relationship <3

[power-handmaiden]

Day 324: Bisexual Banana Split Boyfriend In My Butt

I've managed to read a lot of these tinglers during breaks at work with a poker face, but I finally had a moment where I broke today, visibly holding back laughter and wiping tears from my eyes because of something I absolutely could not explain to anybody around. It had nothing to do with either the absurdity of Tingleverse scenarios or the sexual content either (though the sex scene does also have a funny moment!) No, it was something that requires the context of everything I've been reading and saying over the past week. This bit:

"“I’ve been reading a lot of Chuck Tingle books lately,” she suddenly announces, her eyes returning to mine. “He’s been writing a lot about finding a balance.”"

To a reader who doesn't pick up many tinglers, this would be both a cheeky meta reference and some relevant context to the moral of this story. To someone who has been faithfully reading along over the couple of months the past few tinglers have come out, it's a nod to these recent stories and a reminder of their current focus. But, to me? The person who has been reading day after day, and thinking about what to say about every story? I may be the one person in the position to find this line to be such an obvious statement that I could not contain how hilarious it was to me. WOW,  Chuck Tingle has been writing about finding balance?? You don't say, Amanda!

My extremely specific experience aside... this tingler did add something to the collection. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that this is going to be something of an endpoint to Dr. Tingle really hitting that theme hard for now. This tingler feels like a conclusive statement: finding balance in the very idea of finding balance. Even the "right" balance that works for you and your circumstances doesn't always have to be strictly adhered to, this tingler says. There's room for breaks and spontaneity. For treats. Those are a part of it too; sticking to that balance most of the time makes those treats feel all the more rewarding.

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

i didnt write my essay for this 👍👍

im so festive with my red and green color combos n whatnot

[serendipitous-imagines]

Can you do a Homicipher Mr Gap x transmasc reader smut fic? Maybe w him eating the reader out? Perhaps?

cws/tws: female genitalia verbiage, oral, fingering, begging, edging

omg,,, my first homicipher request!! i have been so in love with all of the characters in this game and it has been so fun playing through all of the routes! i do get easily jumpscared bc i am a coward but hey, fear and adrenaline adds to emotions I am pretty sure ;> as always~ the fun stuff is under the cut~

Where were you again...? Oh, right, you were stuck down here, running around mindlessly, looking for an elevator that may or may not bring you back to your world... And everyone surrounding you was a creature that was almost beyond human comprehension. But... they were kind, kinder than anyone had ever really been to you, and they cared, they cared so much about you, about how you felt, about how your body ached and reacted. Sure, it could have been because they wanted to do experiments on you, maybe even take your arms, but it being cared for like this felt so nice. Honestly, it would be a waste to leave everyone down here. How would you even live life normally again after meeting everyone? A soft groan escaped your lips as you rolled over on the bed, flopping your head down into the pillow that had definitely been untouched for a while, but it was better than laying on the ground. You could not imagine how it felt for Mr. Chopped- where even was he? Where was anyone? The room suddenly felt far more cold and empty than it had before. Anxiety crept into your chest and in an attempt to comfort yourself, you pulled the white blanket up to your head, wanting to hide from the vast empty echoes of the labyrinth where you found yourself confined. ... Why did it feel like you were being watched...? Lifting the sheet up hesitantly, you tilted your head downwards, unknowingly holding your breath as you glanced down at your legs. Nothing... You set the sheet down and let out the breath you had been holding, looking around the room. You were just being paranoid because you were alone, there was nothing to worry about, you were sure Mr. Crawling would be around at any moment and you would feel better. Shaking your head, you lifted the sheets to lay back down and- "AHHHH!!!!" Your whole body jumped, a scream involuntarily coming out, legs pressing together as you made eye contact with Mr. Gap smiling up at you from under the covers. "When did you get here?!" you yelled, fingers trembling as you held the sheets up, eyes wide.

"I help..." Mr. Gap mumbled, a smile on his face, his visible eye upturned with small crinkles in the corners of them. "Is there a reason why you are smiling so hard?" you asked, a smile on your face, wondering what organ or part of your body he was going to ask to take. Mr. Gap tilted his head, not understanding your question, his smile still ever-so-prevalent. "Give?" he asked. "Me want have." Mr. Gap repeated, his voice a little more firm. You could feel his warm breath hitting the insides of your thighs, goosebumps appearing on your skin from the warmth in the cold room. "Want what?" you asked, thighs shifting to close from the embarrassment of Mr. Gap's head being so close to such intimate areas. "Want you." Strong hands wrapped themselves around the inside of your thighs, pinning them open despite your attempts to force them closed. "M-me?!" your voice squeaked in surprise as your pants were ripped clear off of your legs. Mr. Gap's face leaned forward, huffing your scent, his fingers digging deeper into the squishy flesh of your thighs. "Smell good. Smell like. Want. Want. Want." Mr. Gap repeated, massaging your thighs in his palms obsessively, his words melting into mere mumbles as his teeth caught the fabric of your underwear, ripping them off (though you were unsure if he ate them or dropped them onto the bed, they were destroyed anyways). "Mr. Gap..." a breathless mutter came from your lips as Mr. Gap's mouth wrapped around your pussy, his tongue frotting against your clit. Your hips lifted at the sensation, a small whine leaving your lips as Mr. Gap's tongue started to speed up, greedily lapping up the arousal that started to drip from your vagina. How did he even know how to do this? Your hand slid beneath the sheets, wrapping your fingers around his hair as his tongue buried itself inside of your pussy, rubbing against your insides, easily gliding around in your arousal. Mr. Gap let out a low groan, a noise you had never heard him make before as his hand slid up your thigh before hovering just below his chin. His lips wrapped themselves hungrily around your clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves as two of his fingers circled around your soaked and sensitive entrance. A moan of pure desperation and a need like none other you have felt before came from your agape mouth, tugging on Mr. Gap's long hair, which had started to become knotted between your fingers. Your gazes caught one another, and you could see and feel his smile get wider before he sunk his fingers without warning into you. Your eyes widened at the sudden intrusion, walls clenching around Mr. Gap's unforgiving fingers that slid deep inside like he was going to pull your internal organs out from you. Your hips rocked, riding his fingers as his tongue pressed against your clit, flicking up and down as he sucked. Those calloused fingers provided a much needed texture, curling inside of you and forcing your walls wider open. Hearing such beautiful mewls coming from you, and feeling your hips starting to tremble, closing in on your orgasm, Mr. Gap cruelly slid his slick-covered digits out of your pussy, rubbing your hole as you gasped and looked at him with eyes that could only be described as downright pathetic. In an action even more cruel, he pulled his mouth away from your swollen and throbbing clit. Your head lifted, your eyes wide in surprise as he rested his head on your thigh and just smiled at you, a taunting, cruel smile. "You know exactly what you are doing..." you whined out, rolling your hips towards his face. "Me funny." "No," you retorted back with a pout on your lips. Mr. Gap laughed, fingers still mindlessly rubbing your opening, which was now soaking the sheets beneath you. "Me funny. You cute." Mr. Gap looked up at your face, which was twinged pink before he pushed three of his fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out of your hole far rougher than he had before. At full force, your orgasm hit your body at full force, crying out Mr. Gap's name as your cum squirted into his mouth and he greedily swallowed it.

FANDOMS ~ MASTERLIST ~ COMMISSIONS ~ REQUESTS

[mimikittysblog]

The Princess - Bonus Ending

Full story! ♡

Pairing: Mafia! Husbands! Poly! Ateez x Fem! Wife! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst if you squint really hard.

Synopsis: You found the traitor.

Warnings: Death, Violence, very slight MxM, some descriptions of gore. ⚠️MNDI⚠️ If I missed anything then please let me know!

Word Count: 1.8k Words

A/N: Hehe surprise! An extra ending 🤭 I wanted to add this on in the actual fic, but I liked where it ended off too much. So I decided to make this into a bonus ending where you could read it if you want, or just ignore it if you don’t. Hope you enjoy this too!

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

It has been a little over a week since your kidnapping. Things also have finally gone back to normal.

Except…

“Joooooooonggiiiieee!!!!!”

The yell for the captain of ATZ can be heard throughout the entire mansion, along with the sound of stomping pretty pink high heels.

“Oh my.”

“Well aren’t you in trouble”

Soon the door to Hongjoongs office was bursted open revealing the little fireball of which they call ‘Their Princess.’

“Oh princess.. whats the matter??”

That question only made your frown grow and eyebrows furrow even more.

“You promised we’d finally go shopping today! You said you wanted to dress me up! I’ve been waiting in the living room for over an hour!”

“Oooohh good luck with that!”

“See ya later our troubled husband! Hope she goes easy on you!”

The boys in the room quickly scatter, but of course not before giving you a sweet kiss and a compliment to your pretty outfit.

“Oh darling.. I’m so sorry!! I got caught up with work! Things have gotten so hectic princess.. there are these idiots that are always giving us trouble! And just….” As he kept going trying to give you reasons he notices your expression hasn’t changed at all, which makes him sigh.

Ever since your kidnapping, your husbands have become too anxious. So now they can’t even put their trust into any new body guards. Especially since the one that has ratted out your existence is still unknown.

So they took it upon themselves to always be your chaperone when you go out. As much of a hassle you thought it would be, it honestly just gives them an excuse to be around you even more. So in the end you just let them do it.

“I’m sorry our princess.. I mean it I’m very sorry…” he says as he gets up and makes his way over to you, pulling you close.

“Do you still want to go now..?”

“Can you go?”

“I have to make it up to you, don’t I?”

“And those idiots??”

“Hmmm well.. why don’t you tell me what I should do to them sweetheart?”

“Hmmmph. Well if they’re giving you guys so much trouble and they’re idiots, I don’t see why you can’t just kill them off and take what you need. We have the resources and manpower, plus you’ve done it before! You did it literally a week ago. You’re ATZ for goodness sake. No one is above you!” You say like it was nothing.

And you were right.

Hongjoong chuckles as he sits down and brings you into his lap.

“While you are correct my love, unfortunately what we need from them, requires them to still be alive. For now.” He explains.

“Ughh fineee…” You groan.

As you opened your mouth to speak again. That’s when a loud shrill screech disturbed the peacefulness of the moment.

“What now?!” Hongjoong barked.

“Oh! That must be my doing!” You said with what can only be described as a maniacal glint in your eyes.

“Oh?”

“Come Joongie! I’ll show you! Then we’ll go shopping!”

“Whatever you desire Princess.” He says with a kiss to your new diamond ring.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

“LET GO OF ME!! LET GO!! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG?! UNHAND ME AT ONCE!!”

“Then why did you run?”

“H-huh..?”

Here in the middle of your grand foyer, was a girl being held down by two men on her knees. Behind her, every single one of your maids stood their sights straight down.

While in front of her is where you stood. Tall and proud. Wearing a stoic expression however the glint from earlier still in your eyes.

“Princess?? What do we have here?” Seonghwa asks.

Your husbands have all now gathered around you on top of the staircase. Simply enjoying the show.

You spin on your heels to look up at them with a wide cheshire grin. “You’ll see my loves!”

“Sirs..! Sirs please!! Please help me! She’s mistaken!”

SMACK

“Don’t you dare speak to my husbands.” You growl. “Ugh look at what you’ve done! You’ve gotten blood on my new ring!” Your finger now slightly dripping blood from where the diamond cut her cheek.

“Oh no.. No worries sweetheart, we’ll make you a new one.” San tells you.

“Oooh! Alright Sannie Thank you!”

“Please.. why are you doing this?? What did I do wrong?”

Your laugh then rings out throughout the foyer. Echoing beautifully off the walls.

“Stop your pathetic little act.” You say as you crouch down to her eye level.

“I know you were the one that snitched about me.”

At this revelation your husbands became even more interested than before. They all perked up and blood boiling again now that they finally have the culprit.

“What?! Who even are you??!”

They’re so angry they want to just run down and tear her limb from limb. However they know you have something plan. So they just let you have your fun.

You smirk widens at Wooyoungs question. As you know how reality shattering it is to her.

“W-what..? You don’t.. recognize me?? Sir Wooyoung! I’ve worked here for years!! ..None.. of you recognize me?” She asks pitifully.

As she looks up at all of them, she sees nothing but fury and confusion. Not a single one of them having any knowledge on who she is.

SMACK

“I told you. Do not. EVER. Speak. To MY. Husbands.”

You then got up and turn back to your loves above you.

“My darlings. This here. Used to be one of our maids. And she thought that by getting rid of me. She could have all of you.”

“What?!”

“How absurd!”

“How stupid is what that is!”

“No! Its not true! It’s not! It wasn’t me!!! I-I would never betray any of you!” She continues to plea.

“Then why. Did. You. Run?”

“I-I didn’t..”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice your absence ever since I was returned home? Hah! It’s what gave you away! And you actually thought they would? and what?! go searching for you?!” You laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

“The day after I returned home from my kidnapping. I realized we were short staffed. It didn’t take me long to realize it was you. When I asked, Kim said you resigned due to health. I didn’t believe it for a second. So I had them search your room. And look what I found!”

At your signal, The head maid Kim stepped forward and gave you a pile of letters.

Love letters.

“Hmm. I’m sure you can guess what these are. You wrote them. Each and every one of them. You didn’t hide them very well. Not sure why you didn’t even just burn or take them with you.” You scoff.

“They’re quite romantic actually… If. They weren’t addressed to my beloveds.”

Her blood has gone cold. She doesn’t know what to do. She can only kneel there looking up at you as she fears her fate.

Unfortunately her fate was sealed the second she began writing these letters.

“I-it’s not.. no… I-I never even gave it to them! Please!! It’s not what it looks like.”

“You thought once you got rid of me. You could swoop in and take my place. However once I came back alive, you decided to run. Thinking I would never suspect you. You then also believed that any of my husbands would realize you stopped being around and come looking for you! Because somehow you have convinced yourself that they’re in love with you! They don’t even know you!!”

“THEY LOVE ME!!!”

SMACK

“Oh. That was the hardest one yet.” Mingi whispers to Yunho. Who nods in agreement.

While on the other side of the staircase Yeosang whispers to Jongho about how this maid is insane to ever think that.

“100%.”

“They don’t. Why would they?” You start then throwing her letters in her face.

“Why would distinguished men like them ever waste space in their brains for a lowly pathetic slut like you? Let alone space in their hearts.”

“…I just..”

“Enough talking. You’ve said far more than you deserve. And frankly I’m bored already.”

You then extend your hand out. One of the henchmen that was holding her down then hands you a syringe.

The girl then panics at the sight of an unknown syringe.

“Wait no please! Whats in that?! What are you gonna do to me?!”

“You could’ve had anything you wanted in this mansion. Anything. And I promise you. I would’ve happily given them to you. My clothes. My shoes. My jewels. My gold. Anything. I’m just that generous.”

You open the syringe cap.

“However the thing you decided to covet? Were the only things that were forbidden. My. Prized possessions. My husbands. And for that. You must suffer the consequence.”

Before she can even let out another sound of protest you injected her straight in the neck.

You and the men holding her down then stepped back as her screams quickly filled the foyer. Her skin and flesh melting straight off of her bones.

“So thats what she ordered acid for.” Hongjoong then mumbles.

“You knew she ordered acid?” Wooyoung asks

“She used my card.” Hongjoong shrugs.

It was a ghastly sight but none of them were even slightly bothered.

Well.

Of course the other maids were.

Once her screams come to a halt. And she was nothing but a pile of goop on the once spotless marbled floor.

You laughed.

Your husbands then descended the stairs.

Once your laughing fit was over you addressed the other maids who were still standing there. Mortified of what has become of their once friend.

“Now all of you. Remember my words. You are free to ask anything you want from me. I have more than enough for multiple lifetimes so I’ll be happy to give it to you. However. If you ever even for a nanosecond think. You could replace me or take any of my husbands away from me. Well. Ask her how that turned out for her.” Fire resonating deep in your voice.

“Thats all. Now all of you clean this up please!” You then say with a bright smile as if the past 20 minutes or so didn’t just happen.

“Come now darling. I believe I owe you a shopping trip.” Hongjoong then says as he puts his hand on your lower back.

“Ah yes!! Lets go! May all my beloveds come with?? Then we can have dinner?”

“Why not?” Yunho says with a bright smile.

Your husband then all lead you out to the car.

“You know no one could ever take us from you. Right Princess?” San says softly to you.

“Of course! I would never let them.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. We wouldn’t either.” Yeosang says.

“They literally can’t our love. You have us all wrapped around your pretty delicate fingers.” Wooyoung adds as he kisses your ring finger.

“I know.”

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

© mimikittysblog 2024

Tagging: @faeprincess777 @starygw3n @bee-gremlin @pinkpearlstar @sweetinsaniiity @puppyminnnie @borahae-reads @spenceatiny18 @justconniez @rosydipity @vtyb23 @beccaskz @boredlol914 @ntlmundy @latisthegenderfluidwannabealone @ateezswonderland @peachyy-jooniee @robertsbbygirl @hanniehq @smally97 @pixie0627 @haven-cove @jaerisdiction @btskzfav @bbyunicornbby @tinybada @cecilleasworld @mudent @mortal-advocate @jjcanwrite

Those who are italicized I could not tag for some reason :(

[tempesttz]

oh hey a topic i can talk about because webnovel isnt just for fanfic.

so i've used webnovel for over a year now? you can bet they have not gotten a single cent from me and i exploit the hell out of the bugs in their terrible system to allow me to read whatever the hell i want (no i will not post how i do it because i dont want that grubby company to be able to patch it) but its a pretty good (and one of the only that i know of) ways to read some good translated novels (especially of the cultivation/reincarnation genre, one of my favorites to read) to english. some more things about webnovel though

they will terminate and get rid of accounts that provide links to the original stories (because a lot of the stories arent original content, theyre translated, usually from mandarin. i am sure a lot of them are also MTL or machine translated works) to the dismay of readers

most stories are 40 chapters free, usually chapters of stories are in the hundreds, sometimes the thousands, and the rest are locked. no add pass no nothing go fuck yourself locked. to the dismay of readers

the male/female lead stories thing makes a little bit of sense to me because of the kind of content it hosts. i read 90% female lead content, the writing genre and "feel" of the stories is pretty different so as weird as it is i'll give them this one

they have a bunch of weird badges and things to add to your profile. most of them are things you have to pay for. speaking of here's my stats just to prove im not talking out of my ass here. the numbers are a little skewed because, again, exploiting the hell out of bugs to let me read whatever the hell i want. also how many badges there are holy shit.

my credentials. they overflow.

most of the art for the covers is stolen or, as i see more and more, ai-generated

i didnt even know webnovel HAD fanfiction by the way. so let that speak for itself. dont write fanfic on webnovel. dont write ANYTHING on webnovel. fuck these people. i am kind of terrified this will get my account terminated but hey fuck it thems the breaks i guess

this is a much smaller gripe but why is LGBT in the "female lead" section. its not yuri its mostly just BL why??? is this???? those leads are NOT female???? you cant blame the fujoshis for this thats on webnovel

they make you buy coins for EVERYTHING and they SHOVE them in your FACE.

they have this weird gamification thing they do with how long you read filling up a bar in the corner of your screen that gives you five fuck-if-i-know-points. so theres also that

if you are looking for fanfiction do not give webnovel your time. if you are looking for translated novels also do not give webnovel your time because its just not worth it, as hypocritical as i sound. go to wattpad. there are plenty of people semi-okay-probably-not-really-legally posting them there for your viewing pleasure, just put them in your offline library and read them with your wifi/data off because wattpad can also go fuck themselves for shortening the amount of books you can have offline to TWO i dont care how many years it has been i am still pissed off. and for running an ad after every chapter. ao3 supremacy until the end and stay away from webnovel they are a greedy greedy terrible company

I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.

(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)

The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.

So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.

I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.

First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?

And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:

Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.

Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.

I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!

Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.

Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).

Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.

So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.

They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.

I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.

Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.

[puckinghischier]

okay so…not that anyone asked but i have some…thoughts about this discourse surrounding jack’s signing last night

and honestly….i’m sad. i’m so insanely sad that so many people who claim to love this team are so quick to assume jack is a lost cause asshole. i think so much of it is entitlement. and yeah, as people, everyone deserve kindness and overall base level social behaviors. but where is that for jack right now?

where’s the grace and understanding that he’s tired. they likely had a day full of practice and drills and workouts before this signing. i mean, did he even get to go home before he was expected to sit and sign autographs for hours? why was he alone? why didn’t they put him with someone else? i know the answer is likely because he was the most sought after signature there and they didn’t want to make his line even longer, but still. i feel like jack has been very open and intentional with the fact he doesn’t like to do media. he wants to play hockey and go home.

and yeah, he also knew it came with the territory, but it doesn’t matter. if you sign up to be a teacher, you know there’s going to be early mornings, but that doesn’t mean you have to like getting up early. if you agree to work in healthcare, you know there’s going to aspects of the job that are gross and unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean you have to like cleaning up bodily fluids. the same can be said for these guys. they signed up to be professional hockey players, they knew media and signings and events were going to be expected of them, but it doesn’t mean they have to like it.

but back to entitlement thing. i think it has become so normalized to create personas for real people in our heads that people are quite literally unable to separate the fantasy from reality. and i mean, i’ll even say i contribute to the problem. all fanfic writers do. we create these idealized and fictional versions of these men, but the ability to differentiate between the two cannot be lost in the process. but i think it has been. i think there’s this unrealistic expectation thrust upon all of them, but especially jack.

he’s popular, he’s cutie, and he’s good at hockey. of course he’s going to have a mass following. but…he’s just a guy, y’all. he’s a guy that has bad days, good days, who gets tired, who has a social battery. and last night, i think that social battery had just run out. do you know how long he’s been watched and in the media? do you know how long he’s been the most watched hughes, the expectations he’s carried on him for years?

i just think there needs to be some compassion and grace here. going back to the whole “people pay to watch me play” incident is a little excessive, imo. i mean, are we going to hold every single player to everything they’ve ever said in the box? does it define who they are and their character? i have not once seen anyone berate and question quinn’s character when he told someone they were “fucking nothing”. which, if you really want to get down to it, is worse than what jack said.

but no, jack is expected to be this guy with rainbows coming out of his ass all the time, apparently. i think the concept of social cues and situational awareness has been so lost because of the screen culture right now. people do so much communication through screens and phones that they forget, people aren’t always enthusiastic and bright, even if they add an exclamation point to their text. last night was not something jack chose to do of his own accord. he was told to do it, and he did it. he made sure the kids had a good time and felt cared for. he signed everything that came across his table. could he have been a little more chatty? yeah. could he have maybe smiled a bit more? yeah.

but seriously, he knew he was going to have to sign a million different items and see a million different people. the whole point of a signing is just that. if he was even remotely going to get out of there on time, there’s no way he could have had any meaningful conversation with every single person. and i feel like he’s said before he prioritizes/likes kids? i could be wrong, so don’t hold me to that.

but the point is, this whole situation is so sad and such a good example of how gossip blogs only care about getting likes and reblogs and attention. they don’t care about these players, no matter how much they claim to. and people are so quick to take everything they read for fact. personally, i think jack is just…antisocial.

i think he has a persona on the ice because he’s in his element, he’s comfortable, and he’s excited to be there. when he’s with his family and around his friends, he seems to be an overall happy guy. but around strangers? strangers that want to talk about his stats, how he played in this game or that game, that are shoving their items in his face to sign, people that he’ll likely never see again? he doesn’t give too much away.

and before people mention the being snippy and short with the workers, i wasn’t there so i didn’t see what happened. if he was, i’m not defending that behavior, but i don’t think it’s because he thinks he’s above them or thinks he’s “god’s gift to hockey” like i’ve seen thrown around so much today. we have all been snappy with people we shouldn’t have before. it doesn’t mean someone is this terrible person with a high horse attitude. i think it’s a combination of fatigue, stress, and maybe even some anxious energy that had been built up and made its way out.

anyways, i’ve said enough i think, and this will be the first and only time i talk about this, but i had too many thoughts swirling in my brain to just keep them there. be nice. show grace. you’re allowed to be disappointed if you attended last night and felt like he was maybe dry and dismissive, but please step back and put yourself in his shoes. not every person has a social and yappy personality. some people don’t speak unless they have something to say. and that’s okay!!!

and for the love of god, quit giving gossip blogs what they so desperately crave

[thefirstlioveyou]

"how can i hate you i don't even know you?"

because he doesn't actually hate her. he hates his own confusion.

"because you're annoying."

annoying because his friends are distracted with their crush on her, inviting her into the party because of their crushes on her. that's what irritated him.

he never disliked her. he just disliked the fact his friends were showing interest in girls and he couldn't understand it, annoying him. but ofc he won't say that. the writers will only show it.

so, because he struggles with understanding himself and his own feelings, it results in frustration. he lashes out and has emotional outbursts. he chooses to push her away without any real explanation. like.. when you look back... we never get an actual reason why he was upset by her presence. we're just left to assume it has do with el, but does it really??

the entirety of s2, mike does NOT understand his friends' attraction to girls and their desire to dance with a girl, hence why he looks so "offended" and "confused" when they leave to go dance with a girl at the snowball. he doesn't get what's so attractive about max. he doesn't get lucas' crush on princess daphne. he's confused at the snowball. he doesn't even look for el. he just sits there contemplating. bro is GAY as fuck in s2. it may be his second gayest season and that's not even including his dynamic with will.

i think it's safe to say his dislike for max has more to do with his own confusion with himself, and nothing to do with el. it makes sense also because he is known to project onto others rather than say how he really feels. it adds up.

[hetrosjistin]

I've been mulling over something actionable about this because I am -really- worried that folks on this site, famous for it's lack of reading comprehension, will take what I'm saying as a #NotAllMen statement, which is not my intention here.

This is what I came up with:

I think something I want to add here is that this doesn't mean not talking about how women have to act as if any given random strange man is a threat. That's not the same thing as hating on men for being men.

It's important that young men, boys understand that bad actors among men in general. and especially the systemic expectations of toxic masculinity in particular, force women to take actions to protect themselves. It's important they understand that such actions are not directly aimed at them. It's important that they know this so that they can understand how the patriarchy does harm to THEM TOO in this manner, by preventing and harming their ability to form healthy relationships with the opposite gender. And important because in learning about these things they can TAKE conscious actions to change their behavior (example: I'm a short guy, and I got into the habit of finding ways to increase my height when arguing with some one, get them to sit down while I stood, sit on the table while they sit on a chair, etc, to loom at them both to make them take me even a little more seriously in my own head, and let's be honest, as a machismo intimidation tactic. When I finally realized how toxic that was, how it was percieved as taking a stance of physical threat against women, and how I did not WANT to do that, I worked on changing my behavior. When I'm in a argument I -try- to force myself to sit down and put myself in as non threatening a stance as possible)

But that's not the same as misandry. It's not born from the same place as someone saying 'all heterosexual sex is rape' or 'god damn I hate men' and similar things.

I hope I'm coming across as coherent here x-x

Because one of the reblogs of OPs post that I saw said something like 'it's inevitable, he WILL become a rape apologist and agent of the patriarchy, there's nothing you can do!' and that's just.

What's even the fucking point?

Why even do ANYTHING if this is an inevitability?

Why are we even FIGHTING for feminism in this case? Because obviously if you believe that then you believe everything we do is fruitless and pointless, men are biologically and socially determined to become rapists.

It is the most cynical and fucked up thing imaginable. It's every bit as fucked up as the idea that women are naturally determined to be best suited to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. It means the struggle we are all engaged in for equality and liberation is pointless.

And I refuse to believe that.

I know I have fucked up shit about myself from the patriarchy. But I have to believe that I can deprogram that and change myself over time as it is revealed to me by introspection and other's actions and words to me.

We can't act like this shit is deterministic because that tears out he very heart of our cause: That we CHOOSE to be who we are, that our chromosomes decide nothing except the shape we are born into, not how we act or the way we treat one another.

And so, we must make the DIALOGUE be about people's ACTIONS and NOT the things they cannot change about themselves.

Y'all have got to stop virulently hating men. Like, I'm sorry, I fucking hate the patriarchy too, but the patriarchy isn't just men and saying it is just exculpates complicit women. I am the mother of a young boy, and I look at this precious, empathetic 8 year old boy I'm raising and I don't know where online is safe for him. Places like this will say he's evil just for his gender, and other places will say "we'll be your friend if you hate with us," and still others will radicalize him in other ways. Where is he supposed to go? Why are we saying the radicalization is the fault of the kids just trying to find a place to hang?

Like this is seriously getting urgent. You have got to fucking stop conflating the patriarchy and men. 53% percent of white women voted for Trump. Men aren't the problem. White supremacy and Christian patriarchal structures are two examples of patriarchy-reinforcing structures that aren't solely couched in maleness. Men aren't the problem, and pretending they are drives more men into more welcoming extremist spaces and also ignores all the parts of this that are forwarded by people who aren't men.

What I see happening all over is scared, depressed, lonely people looking for someone they're allowed to hate automatically, unquestioningly - someone they're allowed to place all the blame on. Fascism says people of color, non-Christian people, queer people, etc., are the ones they're allowed to hate.

And way too many of yall answer that no, it's leftist to hate men instead. You are doing *the exact same thing they are.*

Fucking knock it off.

The answer is we're not supposed to hate anyone automatically based on their immutable personal characteristics. Hate the specific people who've hurt you. Hate the self-reinforcing systems that let them get away with hurting you. Hate the strangers who prop up those systems. Hate the fascists. Hell knows I hate Donald Trump, but it's not because he's a man, it's because he's a piece of shit.

Hate the pieces of shit, not the gender.

But don't hate men just because they're men. That's unhelpful, stupid, insane, and entirely counterproductive. Fucking. Stop.

[sgiandubh]

Flaunting the narrative

I just came back from a nice dinner & drinks in town, with friends who visit from Athens. Lo and behold, my DMs are on fire again, but my (in)famous Inbox is, as expected, resoundingly quiet. [Later edit: not for long].

It would seem S's latest interview for yet another one of those glossy magazines one usually spots untouched in any random Main Street dentist's cabinet or real estate office did manage to raise a couple of eyebrows, after all. With very few data publicly available, Flaunt Magazine is the kind of media outlet with four times less Instagram followers than S, so this begs the question to whom the murder interview really profits:

There is very little out there about Flaunt Magazine, indeed. Other than it was founded in September 1998 by three amigos (Alex Barajas, Jim Turner and Long Nguyen), all of whom were also part of the editorial team of the (now defunct?) Detour Magazine, there is virtually nothing else. This does or should ring a bell about the real importance and relevance of this media stunt - not much to add here, either. Other than that, past issues of Flaunt seem to be traded between fans of celebrities who (more or less) regularly grace its pages, in what I do think are paid/in kind op-eds written by people with no clear professional print, in agreement and by prior arrangement with the talent's PR:

Compared to Flaunt, a real lifestyle press behemoth such as Harper's Bazaar (this blogger has subscribed to for many years, ahem) has a quite different audience level and marketing approach:

Six times more Instagram followers and a clearly more friendly pricing policy:

[Sorry, what I managed to find is the UK offer - blame it on their regional settings, I suppose: however, I think the US offer might not be that different].

In other words, I am beginning to suspect more and more Flaunt is that kind of vanity/hybrid press product, where costs and risks are more or less evenly split between the printer/publisher and the client. Therefore, you would be naive to expect anything else than some tightly controlled, neat-o narrative aligned content. Especially considering the targeted audience, which is (of course) the American fandom, albeit with a tinge of 'sophistication' and a totally artificial 'whimsical twist' (California, here I come).

Onwards to the candid bullshittery.

The article opens with a precise timeline reference:

[Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy0g2p47xd5o]

Therefore, the interview happened somewhere between 11 and 14 October 2024, just about the time S was overseas and C was spotted having dinner in London with the Rothschilds and no Tracula in sight. And there is another thing that immediately screamed at me from that pixelated page: George Mallory. Which brought me exactly here:

Yes, absolutely. The Golden Goose that never was. That still hurts, judging by the melancholy with which S talks about Everest, not climbing it after all, still planning to visit next December:

Perhaps with Jake Norton, a reputed Scottish American mountaineer (I think you were right on the money, darling - you know who you are, 😘😘❤️), S met and stroke a friendship with since 2023:

The December reference is not innocent at all. It is there to sparkle endless speculation about what S will be doing on Xmas and Hogmanay, too (and with whom, of course - and there you have all the factions dutifully served with an extra side of bullshite to dissect). Fan wars galore, fuming and flaming DMs and inboxes to boot. He/his PR know that and apparently they still need that Idiotenspiel at play for a while. Also, December's got 31 days, something that Stans worldwide seem to suddenly ignore.

Once the proper tone is set and given, the rest flows almost naturally: zero reference to C (1500% expected) and what is a clearly tailored, yet fizzling, bomb:

'I'm really on the precipice': now that is some extraordinary choice of words, isn't it? This and the 'I don't know' are probably the only authentic reactions in the very strange quote I underlined.

'Being on the precipice' is almost always negatively connotated. It logically has nothing to do with the idea of starting a new journey, but it has everything to do with the idea that he is now confronted with the lack of security and comfort and with the potential loss of notoriety the end of OL might bring. Something he very clumsily tries to disguise as 'I feel I'm no longer tied by Outlander', which must also be the counterfactual understatement of the year, really. There is legally and factually no way he wouldn't still be tied by Outlander, irrespective of how tedious that might feel. He still needs the Mommies' hardcore clientele pool, while he is commendably trying to diversify his sales and marketing strategy. These things do not happen in the blink of an eye and he knows it very well. However, he also really needs to portray himself as something else than a one trick pony, in order to remain bankable in Hollywood and elsewhere. Hence the 'I am not tied to OL anymore', I am able to do bigger and better things, and in the long run I would also like to make a springboard, not a dead end out of it.

Finally, there is no way he would be legally untied from OL. Contracts are still contracts. They include clauses and obligations that will be enforced most probably until after the show's last season will be aired. There is very little to zero leeway around it, for the time being. By the time those clauses and obligations will be rendered obsolete, very few of those Anons and Stans and Mommies and Onlies will still be around to even give a flying duck about the whole life situation.

And then, we have the 'maybe I'll start a family'. Despite what all of my Anons are shrieking right now in my inbox, this is not even the first time he hints at it, and I seriously do not understand why the sudden hysterical surge. Anons probably think I am amnesic, or something:

That is a direct quote from Waypoints. He announced nothing. It's been there, in plain sight, for a long time already and if anything, it is consistent with the narrative.

The rest is borderline irrelevant, visually and conceptually incoherent ('nude scenes are difficult and even dangerous to shoot, when dealt with in a non-professional way, but here is a shirtless bucolic pic that will make my Onlies drool and buy collector's issues at extortionate prices'). The overall impression it gave me was of a hastily cobbled and not very clever circumstance paper. Nothing more, nothing less.

There is no amount of wishful thinking that is going to immediately and magically change the current state of play. Reasonable people should expect mild, but constant turbulence ahead, with a sprinkle of cuteness and innuendo just to keep all the fandom's factions engaged and present, which translates to S/C/SC being relevant for potential employers, agents, the press, etc. In a nutshell, absolutely nothing new. You can screech, you won't change an iota of what I know is true and my position is firmer than ever, no matter how ridiculously hard you try to intimidate or harass me. That's all.

[embirdragon-blog]

So maybe it's just me but I don't get flirty tones from the way Neve and Lucanis talk to each other during ambient dialogue moments. Playful and friendly sure but Neve talks that way to like everyone. I mean she has dialogues with Davrin that are more of a cliche flirting moment where they reference having worked on a job together in the past. Maybe I am missing something because I haven't played it enough or something but the vibes aren't so heavy handed like people claim and honestly if you don't date either of them it MAKES SENSE that they would end up liking each other. Both people incredibly loyal to their homes, one of them heartbroken for the other and what happened, over the impossible choices that had to be made. I haven't actually seen their romance yet because I pursued Lucanis first and I was on the look out for that flirting everyone talks about and I didn't see it, nothing even really hints at all about them being into each other. Even the Inner Demons quest, Neve's presence in his mind plays out to me like the last barrier between him admitting he feels something deeper and scarier for you than he ever has, whereas being with Neve, liking Neve is easier because he knows how she feels because she is always so honest with her emotions and thoughts on things. Liking Neve is the safe option because he can't disappoint her like he fears he can disappoint you. I will also add if anyone does have examples of them being flirty I would like to see it. I'm half wondering if the flirty dialogue from when they actually start being encouraged to date by the PC got triggered on accident for people with a bug and that's why they experience flirting hell but who knows.

I came back to edit this to further support my Neve is the safety choice point. When you first get into Lucanis's mind in Inner Demons you come upon a messed up table, a table very much like the one you all gather around in the library your character says 'what? No one is here' and there is a single crystal already floating there for you to destroy but Spite responds 'of course no one is here. Rook can't be here. You open doors. You don't close them.' which tells me that because you so easily accept Lucanis, Spite and all, because you encourage and support him, show him and Spite both compassion that he can't use you to close off the prison doors in his mind. He can't resist opening them for you after all. The Neve avatar even references this moment later by saying 'you know Lucanis, even if you open the door he won't step through it' and you can respond by saying 'that doesn't matter, because I will always show Lucanis he has a choice in it.' which again to me implies Lucanis is afraid to step through 'doors' for Neve but is willing to step through those 'doors' for Rook, because he knows he will find Rook on the other side no matter what.

[simplyzeeka]

Episode.3 Season.1

Absolutely Astronomical

Trying to love

Wanna be free

So, God, tell me please

Is it in the stars

Warnings: MDNI!! Profanity, adult themes, themes of infidelity, grinding, mutual pining. Just... stars.

Summary: Some mistakes are unsolicited, but definitely preventable. But Syrae and Terry never really had the kind of control, have they?

A/N: Please excise any errors. Not proofread. Enjoy!! Anything in italics is a flashback

Rainy weather was always Terry's favourite time to decompress. He would usually just whip up a hot meal and enjoy it in front of a good mystery movie, or just paint something abstract on a fresh canvas, a new interest of his.

But sometimes, especially since meeting Amber, his ways of decompressing have changed… drastically. If he wasn't balls deep inside of her, best believe he worshipped what lied between the thick of her thighs with his face. Or sometimes, quality time was more than enough, even with non-sexual affection.

That was his plan after a long, exhausting day at work. The sudden cold weather had his body chilled, he wanted nothing more than to warm up with his wife.

Amber, a woman of bewitching beauty. Deep brown skin that glistened especially in the sun, a body so alluring that curved and rolled in every way he liked. Terry always believed he was lucky, because as beautiful as she was on the inside, her morals and values reciprocated with her external beauty.

She laid in a bathtub filled with foam and smelt of lavender. Candles lit on the side with a glass of wine in her hand. Terry almost didn't want to interrupt, but it's been a while since they spent time together since their short honeymoon.

“Baby.” Terry called out to her, softly as he walked towards the bathtub. He crouched down, his face close to hers. The faint of jazz music could be heard along with the pattering of raindrops on the windows.

“Hey lovey, didn't hear you come in. You okay?” Amber frowned, her moist thumb rubbed against the middle of his forehead, where his eyebrows dipped in a frown. “Tough day?”

Terry hummed, “Hmm, nah not really.” A simple answer, short and curt but Amber knew there was more to his sour mood. “Is this about Mike's birthday?” She asked softly, not wanting to add tension.

Terry's late cousin, Mike's, birthday was coming soon. His death still cause tremor in Terry's heart, despite it being years ago. While he tried to forget of everything that came with Mike’s death and Shelby Springs, that year will forever live in him rent free.

Terry simply nodded his head, exhaling a loud breath while his fingers thread through her braids and graze across her scalp. “Yeah, I’ma be okay though. Don't worry ‘bout me baby. How was your day?”

Amber smiled somberly, he wasn't okay but she wouldn't push him to talk about it. Amber got out of the tub, dried her body, and wrapped her body up with a robe. “It was… something. I have to leave for Singapore in a few days.”

“You have to go alone? I can pack up and leave with y-” Terry began before Amber interrupted him with a laugh.

“No baby, that's okay. You need to stay here and work, business seem to be booming lately.” She suggested before standing on the tip of her toes, leaving a amorous kiss on his lips.

Terry exhaled in rejection, scratched the back of his neck before he followed her to their bedroom. “Guess I'll have to cancel game night with the guys.”

“Uh-Uh. There is no need to do that lovey. Just get someone else to go with you.”

Terry lost concentration for a bit, watching her as she smeared lotion on the smooth of her legs, the robe slipped off her shoulder revealing precise ink work across her collarbone.

“Yeah, but I wanted my woman to go with me. I missed you, baby. Shit, I still do.”

Amber rolled her eyes playfully with a knowing smile. Terry had always been an affectionate person, despite his broody demeanour and the way he always seemed to be mean-mugging people, he had not once hid his affections from Amber. It made her heart soar time and time again.

“I know, and I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you when I get back.” She whispered, taking slow and calculated steps towards him. “But right now… I kinda want you to put me to sleep.”

Terry bit his bottom lip at that, his eyes glistened with a shine that Amber always brought to him. “Shit, don't gotta tell me twice, girl. Come here.”

Terry ended up going to the game night alone, and unfortunately for him, he was stuck as a third wheel. Rome cancelled at the last minute, so it was just him, Yosohn and his girlfriend, Isla.

The three opted for something simple, and while Terry was bored out of his mind, bowling seemed to keep him from mugging Yosohn and his girl from their excessive PDA.

He missed Amber, it's been two days since she left for Singapore and he already felt screws loosening in his head. “We about to play or not?” He snapped at the couple, causing infectious giggles to spur from Isla's chest as she detached her lips from Yosohn's.

“Damn let's get started ‘fore this man throw a ball at us.” Yosohn joked, which only fueled the shorter woman's laughter. Terry smacked his lips as they all got started on the game.

The games were tense as Terry and Yosohn played against one another. The bowling rank was full now, almost every single alley was taken with players. Terry was beginning to get a little overstimulated by the few drinks, loud music, the flashing of bright neon led lights and the game.

In dire need of a break, Terry called recess and went to the bathroom to recharge. The bathroom was minimalistic, rather boring. But hey, it was just a bathroom and the bowling alley was quite an old establishment.

He appreciated the soft scent of bleach and soap, the mirrors were spotless and the floors squeaked with every step he took. Terry stood by the sinks, watching his reflection in the mirror before splashing cold water on his face to get him out of his funk. Usually by now, he would have told Amber that his social battery was running low and he just wanted to lay up under her for the rest of the night. But she wasn't here with him, and going home was not an option for Terry because she wasn't there either.

Reluctant to rejoin the couple, Terry slowly stepped out of the bathroom, eyes on the ground before a nostalgic fragrance of jasmine and honey, and maybe a small hint of… he couldn't really put his finger on the last scent, it didn't matter though, because what brought a smile to his face was an all too familiar person seemed to be in his presence, for the first time in weeks.

“Syrae?”

Terry did opt for finding out, would be hard not to when she enticed him in the way that she did. Must have been that stripper shit she learned at the club.

“I'm telling you, I would've made an amazing politician.” Terry laughs, staring at the dark-skinned beauty with a smile from across the table of a cheap, local diner.

Stark colours of red, yellow and orange painted the walls, tables and booths as Syrae sipped on her vanilla Milkshake. “I just don't see it. You look like you don't got the time for bullshit.” Syrae shrugged her shoulders.

“I don't, but I love being dependable and inventive. And politics seems to be the perfect place to do that. ‘Specially with how shit be going down here.”

He seemed ambitious, versatile too. Syrae loved that about anyone, but knowing that Terry was all this made it harder for her to keep her wandering thoughts at bay. “Hmm, somethin’ tell me owning a workshop wasn't in your books?”

A steady observation, Terry didn't talk about his shop like he spoke about his past ventures. The light in his eyes seemed to dim only slightly and Syrae was not sure if it was the journey to how he got here… or the destination that had him frustrated.

“That somethin’ might be right.”

Syrae hummed at his short response, she could read a room, but Terry did not seem to want to be read at the moment. Perhaps they could leave that for another time.

“Well I know how that feels.” Syrae sighed before she raised her half-empty glass. “What's life without a little fuck ups?”

Terry laughed at that, appreciating the deflection a little like she appreciated the sound of her melodic voice, or the sight of her smile. “Not a damn thing, Indigo.”

“Syrae.’ she interrupted with a small scrunch of her nose. “My real name’s Syrae.”

It suited her, much more than the name Indigo and it seemed to piece her together. “Hmm, nice to meet you. Syrae.”

“I'm sure it is.” and so the banter continues.

“Terry, I'm convinced you followin’ me now.” The shorter woman crossed her arms over her chest. She had jeans that fit just right, before flaring wide below her knees. A sage green dress, which stopped mid-thigh and was decorated with some glitter. There was a knot tied around her neck from the dress, covered by the jacket draped over her shoulder.

It was a simple outfit, so so simple. But Terry couldn't seem to understand why he felt butterflies breaking pit of their cacoons at the way she looked. Maybe it was the glasses on her face, he always had a thing for women in glasses. Or maybe the soft of her features, plush lips, thick brows. Fuck, it could've been the accent, one that did nothing to soothe the resolute thumping of his heart.

“Cockiness gets you nowhere Rae.” Syrae rolled her eyes at that, although her heart galloped at the nickname. Since finding out her real name, he has been calling her that freely and she would not be one to stop him, it sounded good coming from him.

“But nah, I'm kinda stuck third-wheeling my friends.”

Syrae winced, “Same here, actually.”

“But wait I got a reason to be alone, you don't. Where your lady at?” She asked curiously, although the mention of Terry's wife felt like a small slice to her gums, a feeling she quickly blinked away.

“Went away for work, Singapore.” Terry answered proudly. Amber was such a hard worker and she deserved every single petal on the flowers she received. “Who got you third-wheeling though?”

“My friend, Broisa and her… partner?” Syrae hesitated, not even sure if Gage was Broisa's boyfriend. Terry picked up the hesitation and laughed in understanding.

For a while he stood silent, eyes darting from her face to the floor then back to her face. Something about her features made it too hard for Terry to stare too long, yet it seemed like his brain pined for another look at her. Syrae had her natural hair out this time, perfectly coiled in a way that they bounced everytime she moved. Terry couldn't help but wonder just how long she spent on her hair every day. Was it hours and hours on end, or had she gotten so used to the routine it was sort of a habit to her? Did she need help? What products did she use?

“Well, you could join me… and my friends.” He began, pointing behind him, where Yosohn and Isla stood. “If you want.”

Syrae raised a brow, took a peak around Terry at his friends in question. “Hmm, if I want…” A mumbled retort. Syrae couldn't find a reason to decline, a reason she was so desperate to find because being near Terry just felt like torture at times. The man was naturally intense, and even without trying, everything he did was just inherently seductive, it made her want to lose all sense of her morale and give into whatever the stupid dragonflies in her stomach told her.

“That don't sound like too bad of an idea, I just gotta let me friend know though.” She explained, eyes trailing back to Terry's.

“You do what you gotta do, I'll be right over there.” Syrae nodded at his response, turned slowly and walked to where Broisa and Gage sat lip-locked, engaged deeply in each other than getting their money's worth.

Syrae walked meticulously to Terry's booth, an extra set of footsteps rushing behind her, wanting to so desperately know what the man who constantly occupied Syrae’s mind and conversation looked like.

So it happened that Broisa couldn't keep her mouth shut and yapped away Syrae's business to Gage. Now Gage was into Syrae’s tea and just as invested as the woman at his side. Syrae warned them both to not do anything that would compromise her's and Terry's friendship, or put them in an uncomfortable position.

“Hey, Terry. I'm back.” She announced. She noticed how the other two turned to her with brows raised and backs straightened. They were alert, something she couldn't necessarily fault as she was a random person to them, one who came with two more people towing behind her, and Broisa and Gage didn't look like the friendliest batch of people.

“My friends decided to come along, hope y'all don't mind an extra triplet.” She smiled nervously, watching as Gage protectively stared down the other three which were seated. “Yeah, hope y'all don't mind.” Gage couldn't stop himself from repeating, trying to seem intimidating.

Syrae couldn't help but to slightly roll her eyes, being used to Gage's antics by now, she knew it was only a matter of time until he started some shit like this, which she found hilarious because he was much smaller than the two.men he was trying to intimidate.

While Yosohn was a little lanky, he had Gage beat by height. Terry… well, Everything about Terry was big, surely a man that size should be able to knock some sense into people?

“Gage, hush.” Broisa reprimanded him, before smiling over at Terry, a little bunch of constellations in her eyes as she began to understand perfectly well why he insisted on his career at being an eight-track athlete in Syrae's head. “We hope we're not intrudin’?” Broisa continued, her smile getting a little too wide to keep at bay.

“Don't worry bout it. Isla, Sohn. This is Syrae, Broisa and… Gage?” Terry introduced before he turned to Syrae. “This Yosohn and his girlfriend, Isla.”

It was only then that Yosohn's eyes widen slightly in realisation. He connected Syrae to the club after a while. Yosohn has never seen Syrae up close, only ever seen her on stage, he hasn't really gotten the opportunity to see distinct features. Yet all this was masked by confusion, he didn't understand why Terry would invite Syrae here, a stripper who gave him a private dance. There couldn't be any good that came from this.

“Hey, nice to meet y'all.” Isla smiles, relaxing a bit at knowing that Terry knows them, well one-third at least. Syrae and Broisa return the sentiments, smiling awkwardly as Yosohn and Terry stare Gage down, the smaller man still not backing down.

Terry shook his head, then let out a small chuckle before directing the two women to take a seat in the booth.

After a few drinks, the tension was long forgotten and the group of six laughed at anything and everything. Yosohn had fallen a total of four times trying to throw a bowling ball, and that alone still had Syrae clutching her stomach.

Okay, so maybe they had more than a few drinks. And that meant that Terry and Syrae shared more than a few lingering stares, which luckily, nobody was sober enough to notice… at least they thought.

“I thought games weren't your thing.” Terry begins unsolicited conversation, focused intently on how Syrae swirled her straw in a tall glass of a purple glittery drink. A Nebula Blast she said it was. One fuckery of a drink because just like it's name, she began seeing galaxies in Terry’s eyes. A gazillion of shooting stars just waiting to make her dreams come true.

“They not.” She shrugs, a small smile on her lips before she wrapped her lips around her straw, Terry following the movement intently, inviting him to lick his own. “But free food and drinks are, and I needed this time out.”

“And why's that?.” His eyes didn't move from her mouth, especially not when her tongue peaked to catch the slight residue on her tinted lips. The muscle left a small trail of glitter and her full lips couldn't have looked any more enticing.

“I just wrote my last exam, and submitted my assignment. Kinda going through college burnout. Needed this real bad.” She lifted her half-full glass, the alcohol having already been too much for her that it forced her to sip much slower. How much Vodka did they put in this?

“Hmm, bet you did. You nervous ‘bout results?” Terry asked, taking a swing of his own rum and coke, a bad idea for someone as lightweight as Terry.

Syrae shook her head slowly, “Not really. I worked my ass off for these exams. But I'm still a little shaky… don't know ‘bout nervous though.”

Syrae yapped away about each exam she wrote, the difficulty of each and how she felt after writing. Terry listened, nodding along with a few interjections here and there.

It wasn't long until the other four felt a little bored at the bowling alley. Broisa wanted to go somewhere a little less… family friendly so she could get wasted and act accordingly with no children around.

Claiming that there was a nightclub not too far from the bowling alley, Broisa convinced everyone else to walk together instead of catching different rides to a place that's less than thirty minutes away.

Syrae was thankful of the recommendation, after downing the rest of the toxic drink, she had started feeling a little dizzy, and the cool night breezes did enough to calm her down and gather her breathing, temporarily ceasing the churning in her stomach.

But she was extra conscious of the fact that Terry was right next to her as they walked down the sidewalk, the other four goofing off further away in front of them. They managed to hold conversation, as always, a little sprinkle of banter did just the job in being confused as flirtation in Syrae's drunken state.

She kept up though, barely crossing another line. They were merely grazing it out of anticipation. By the time they made it to the club, Syrae had calmed down a tad bit. Terry, on the other hand, was still feeling the effects of the three glasses of rum, because now floating notes of music morphed into bright orange monarchs. They fluttered and diffused into his stomach, creating a surge of warmth when he felt the cool skin of her back as he led her through the entrance of the club.

It was loud, so loud that Terry and Syrae were beginning to question if they should have agreed on coming here. Broisa immediately enjoyed the vibe and hopped to the dance floor with Gage. Syrae and Terry followed Yosohn and Isla to the bar.

Syrae orders a water for Terry and herself, makes him drink as she remembered that he couldn't hold his liquor. Consciously, Syrae knew that a night out with Terry while being inebriated couldn't have been a good idea. Being out with Terry in such a casual setting, a comfortable one at that, was a bad idea in general.

It didn't take long for everything to catch up with Syrae, and then suddenly her need for fresh air was too palpable to be ignored. She excuses herself from the three friends, claiming she was just going outside for a while.

Now stood against a wall at the back of her nightclub. An unlit blunt in one hand and a hot pink lighter in the other. She stared at the ground mindlessly, periodically flicking her lighter. Maybe she should just cut off this budding friendship with Terry, there was no way he didn't feel how she did, which made it worse because…Terry was married. Fuck he was married and the thought along brought a pissing migraine to her head.

The music echoes perfectly from the club, only mere vibrations could be below her feet, which was long ridden of her heels. They sat comfortable on the floor next to her feet. Syrae exhaled loudly before placing the tip of her blunt in her lips before lifting her hands on the other end, flicking the spark wheel a number of times waiting for a flame.

Until the sudden sound of the back door opening suddenly, then out came a Terrence Richmond with his natural mean mug on his face. Syrae straightened off the wall abruptly, whipping the blunt off her lips. “Fuck, Terry. What the hell?” She muttered, exhaling a sigh of relief.

“You were out here for too long, thought somebody took you.” He explained, stepping a few steps to close, she could tell by how the hint of old wood and cocoa butter invaded her nose. “I'm good, Soldier.” She laughed softly, putting the blunt back in her bag.

Terry merely hummed. He got a few more drinks, in an attempt to wash away the thoughts of Syrae and all the feelings she brought. She weighed on his head heavily and intoxicatingly. Kind of like the alcohol did. “Wanted to see that for myself.”

Syrae hummed, looking up at his eyes. She shouldn't have, but she did, and now she couldn't look away. She couldn't help her wandering eyes. How they traced the intentional streaks of each contour on his face, the thickness of his neck, broad shoulders, one's she'd always thought would be a perfect place for her legs. Thighs or calves, it didn't matter.

He was wearing a black turtleneck, one that hugged his body in ways that had Syrae imagining raking her nails across his skin. His jeans were a bit loose, but when he sat or flexed just enough, the thickness of his thighs could not be hidden from the stretch.

“Why you got your shoes off? There's broken bottles down here, Rae.” Terry frowned at that realisation. Instinctively, he stepped even closer. Terry crouched on his feet and tapped three fingers on one of Syrae's ankles, coaxing her to lift her foot. “Terry, my feet fine. Ain't no need to do-” She was interrupted by a sigh.

Terry looked up from his crouched position, fingers just barely grazing the smooth skin above her ankle. His face remained neutral, as if he were telling her he wasn't taking no for an answer. Syrae let out a sigh of her own, her shoulders sagged and she lulled her head to the side before raising her foot.

Terry lifted it slightly higher, causing her to push the middle of her dress downward, as to not expose herself. He gently inspected the underside of her foot, swiping away the small rocks and pebbles indented in her heels.

He does the same for the other foot, however this time, it was much slower, much more intentional. That much was obvious by how Terry kept his slightly hooded eyes on her eyes, while massaging away at her heels. “Terry.” Syrae warned softly, her lips feeling a bit more dry than earlier and suddenly, she saw small dots of sparkly gas floating around her.

“Hmm?” He wasn't listening. His hand travelled lightly up her legs as did his gaze. He slowly raised from his crouched position the moment. Syrae's leg rested on his hip as his large hand held her leg up. “Terry.”

Syrae attempted at warning again, this time a little louder. Her hand reached for his, attempting to push it away from her burning skin, yet her fingers worked their way underneath the hem of his sleeves. Stiletto nails grazing his skin when Terry stepped further between her legs. “Syrae.”

She held in a whimper, the other hand that rested on his shoulder was supposed to push his body away, instead, it gripped at the defined muscle and slowly travelled to the curve of his neck. “Terrence Richmond.” Syrae moaned, in sheer desperation, because at least one of them had to have control, and surely wouldn't be Syrae. “I'm here.” He retorted, their faces so close he can taste the glitter and stars from the Nebula Blast on her breath. He just needed to kiss her, one kiss. Then he would see a supernova.

She shook her head, their noses budging at the movement. “Uh uh. We not ‘sposed to be doin’ this, Terry.” She whispered against his lips. Terry only nodded his head, managed to hold off from swallowing her gasp when she felt his obvious excitement against her ruined panties.

“You stoppin’ me?” A question that held so much power, because was she stopping him? Did she have the willpower to stop any of this? Syrae began questioning herself, trying to find resolute… until Terry angled his hips so perfectly, then ground them right against Syrae's pooling heat. Her mouth fell open and her eyebrows pinched between her forehead. “Hmm, baby? You gonna stop this?”

She should, she really really should. Because Terry could fuck her life all the way up, he already was and he's barely done anything. “Fuhh.” Her words fell short when she felt his pulsating bulge grind mind-numbing flutters to her swelling bud. “Hmm, look at m- Syrae. Look at me. You gon’ st-”

He was talking too much. Syrae held the back of his neck and pulled his lips onto his. And fuck if her heartbeat didn't go calm. She felt herself sag against him.

It took a while for them to register their affection. But when Terry reeled in, he kissed back, their heads moving leisurely in opposite directions as their minds took the lead. Syrae heard pops in her ears, mostly from the abuse of pressure Terry offered between her legs.

His hips moved so slowly, it's as if he was trying to serenade a confession of love from her heart straight through her body and out her pussy with her drowning essence. And she would tell him a million times, how it was his.

Terry moans against the kiss, the monarchs in his stomach cease the fluttering, as did the dragonflies in Syrae's. As if they've kissed noses, called a truce. Everything felt like an end of soul searching, like the two haven't reached true content in life until that very moment.

Syrae felt familiar and foreign all at once. But above all else, she felt like serenity. The kiss brought nothing but tranquillity and a surge of need. Terry wasn't sure if he particularly enjoyed the taste of Nebula Blast and glitter on her lips or the small hint of the cherry candy that Syrae always said she loved. It didn't matter because it was Syrae.

But Terry was wrong about one thing. Syrae's kisses didn't make him see a supernova. They made him see fucking galaxies.

A/N: I did that??? I did that for real? I'm so proud of this part, although it seemed like there's a lot going on, it's my favourite because it highlights a theme I've been wanting to include. If you haven't noticed, it's astronomy! Not the entire concept perse, but it's a lot of stars going on.

There's was a very, very subtle hint at how the story's gonna end in the chapter. It's so miniscule I doubt anyone will notice it lol. This song is what inspired me to write, because I was a little blocked chilee

Taglist:

@blyffe @peachbutterfly-blog @browngirldominion @blackmoonchilee

Comment if you'd like to be tagged. Please like it if you love it lol. Comments and reblogs are deeply encouraged and appreciated, it what motivates me to write more.

[the-last-punbender]

This is because healing is a fundamentally reactive and conservative mechanic in a game. As a result, it slows a game down, while not contributing to advancing your position.

Lets say we have a game board with 10 squares, with the objective of moving your pawn from square 1 to square 10. You roll a 6-sided die to advance a number of squares as shown on the die, then another player rolls a 4-sided die numbered 0-3 to push you back. Rather than numbers 1-6, though, your die has sides reading "Advance 1" to "Advance 3" and "Recover 1" to "Recover 3." "Recover" sides only allow you to counter the other player's roll; if you roll "Recover 3" and they push you 1, nothing happens; if you roll "Recover 1" and they push you 2, you get pushed back by 1. This means any time you roll a "Recover" lower than the push, you lose Position (your proximity to victory), while any time you roll an equal or higher "Recovery" than the push, your position remains neutral. You can only advance your Position by rolling "Advance" numbers.

With this setup, there are 6 possible results on any turn, and the probability of that result:

Net Advance 3, 1:24 chance

Net Advance 2, 1:12 chance

Net Advance 1, 1:8 chance

No Change, 1:2 chance

Net Push 1, 1:6 chance

Net Push 2, 1:12 chance

In other words, over 4 turns, you are likely to gain position once, lose position once, and the other 2 turns nothing happens (ie, if you advance 2 and get pushed back 2, nothing has changed).

However, if we do away with Recovery and replace those sides with Advance 1-3 sides (so Advance still can't roll higher than Push), our probabilities change:

Net Advance 3, 1:12 chance

Net Advance 2, 1:6 chance

Net Advance 1, 1:4 chance

No Change, 1:4 chance

Net Push 1, 1:6 chance

Net Push 2, 1:12 chance

Which means now, over 4 turns, we can expect to gain position twice, lose position once, and do nothing once.

With Recovery, we have a 50% chance of doing nothing, which means for every 4 turns we have a 50% chance that the game state will have changed over those 4 turns (that either the turn we advanced was by more than the turn we were pushed or vice versa). Without Recovery, we now have only a 25% chance of doing nothing, which makes it much more likely our two advance turns add up higher than our one pushed turn. This means games will, on average, end faster, since it is more likely every turn that we approach square 10. (for simplicity's sake we will assume you can move past square 10 and have to be on or past it after the push to win).

For this game, the fastest it could possibly go is if we rolled "Advance 3" and the push die rolled "0" 3 times in a row, for a total game time of 3 turns. The longest it could possibly go is infinity, if pushes always equalled or exceeded advances. Since rolling Recovery can't advance us, it drastically decreases the likelihood of rolling a high advance, which in turn increases the game time.

If we really want to include Recovery in the game, we can dial it up or down, but even if only 1 side of the die is Recovery, any time we roll it we know that at best, we do nothing, and at worst, we aren't pushed back as far.

Obviously, this would be a pretty shitty game, and healing in games gets more complex as you account for tactics and other options, but this is the fundamental problem with healing: If you make it as good or better than damage, the game grinds to a halt; but if you make it weaker than damage, it's more valuable to replace it with damage output. Plus, by being reactive, it is by default less fun*; players like to be active when playing a game, so making it weaker also makes it less fun to play.

*obviously there are people who enjoy playing healers, but healing as a mechanic can only happen in response to damage; if no damage is taken, the healer can't heal. This is why games usually also give the healer other abilities, like attacking or buffing other players. If all you have is healing, your ability to act increases only as your team's success goes down. Only being able to make losing take longer is not generally fun, particularly when contrasted with options which allow you to actually win.

i've always wondered. has anyone else noticed that video games, by and large, have an absurdly hard time balancing healers? almost every game i play healers are either impossibly good, literally useless, or being reworked every other week