#There's not really much to say about the second stanza | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aspoonofsugar · 8 months ago

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do you think the song out for love says something about Camilla and veggie and to veggies character arc

Hi!

Yes, it does. I want to talk about Vaggie in other metas too, so in this analysis I will focus on her relationship with Carmilla, since this is what you are mainly asking about.

Before I start, though, I am gonna link to you this meta by @hamliet, where she talks about the main message of the song:

You're gonna fight without gloves And when that push comes to shove Yeah, you just might rise above Long as you're out for love

If you love, you might rise above. So Vaggie, a fallen angel, regrows her wings by choosing love and protection over hate and revenge. The meaning is crystal clear. Love makes you worthy of Heaven. Just like in the finale Pentious ascends thanks to his selfless sacrifice.

This is the meaning of the song when it comes to theme and to the series as a whole.

At the same time it is not by chance this theme comes out so strongly in relation to Carmilla and Vaggie, as they are both tied to "love".

FAMILIAL LOVE AND ROMANTIC LOVE

Carmilla Carmine: So I, I'll be your keeper Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes I'll keep you safe and keep this secret

Vaggie: So I, I'll be your armor Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes I'll spend my life being your partner

Carmilla and Vaggie are set up as foils in episode 3, when they share the song Whatever It Takes. This ballad is a love song, but Carmilla and Vaggie express two different kinds of love:

Carmilla is singing to her daughters (familial)

Vaggie is singing to Charlie (romantic)

This is a pattern throughout the show:

There are two versions of More Than Anything - the first one is about a familial bond, whereas the second explores a romantic relationship

Sir Pentious gets redeemed after expressing his feelings for Cherri (romantic) and sacrificing himself for the Hotel Crew (familial)

So, Hazbin Hotel goes out of its way to celebrate all kinds of positive bonds: platonic, romantic, familial. All of these relationships are enriching and help people grow. Vaggie and Carmilla are two characters linked to this very concept, as they are ready to fight and suffer for their loved ones:

Both: Whatever we go through I know I~ (Carmilla: I'll be your keeper) (Vaggie: I'll be your armor) Whatever it takes (Carmilla: I'll make the mistakes) (Vaggie: I'll make the mistakes) Whatever it takes

They are both warriors, but fight for love. They are out for love. However, Whatever It Takes also highlights a major difference between them.

TRUST AND SELF-EXPRESSION

Scrambled Eggs is an episode about trust. This is true especially for Carmilla and Vaggie, who have opposite secrets:

Carmilla killed an angel

Vaggie is an angel

Throughout the song the conflict between Heaven and Hell is mentioned by Carmilla and is present in subtext in Vaggie's stanza, as she looks at her old home.

Both are struggling under the pressure of these truths and are confronted by a loved one:

Zestial: Carmilla, what troubles thou? Losing thy composure is unlike thee. Carmilla Carmine: It's nothing, Zestial, really.

Charlie: Vaggie, don't say that! You do so much! It's- Vaggie: I'm sorry. I'd… I'd like to be alone for a minute.

Carmilla chooses to open up to Zestial and tells her daughters how much she loves them. Vaggie instead closes herself off and refuses Charlie's attempt to talk. She is singing to Charlie, but Charlie herself isn't present to hear her out. Even when it comes to their respective secrets...

Carmilla says hers in the song:

Carmilla Carmine: I always thought that I would keep blood off my face But when that thing attacked, I had to act To cross that line and keep them safe But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war And who's to say who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I was killing for

Vaggie only alludes to hers in the lyrics:

Vaggie: When I saw your face You made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place And it felt so good to be understood But there's so much I wished that I could say

Vaggie meets Charlie and feels like a stranger in a brand new place because at the time she is in fact a stranger in a brand new place:

So, Carmilla is able to express herself, while Vaggie can't. This isn't surprising, as Vaggie is basically a child-soldier:

Adam: Do you really think I wouldn't recognize one of my top girls just cuz you're out of uniform? You were on the front lines, I wouldn't forget a bad bitch like you. It's why I named you after the best thing ever. Vaggie.

She is brought up in Adam's army and is taught that love is conditional. She is one of Adam's best fighters, but the moment she makes a "mistake", she is discarded:

Lute: Sinful filth like you has no place in heaven.

This is why she feels Charlie will love her only if she is useful and never messes up:

Vaggie: I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you. (...) If I can't help you, what's the point of me?

This fear of abandonement and rejection is also at the root of Vaggie's inability to tell Charlie about her past:

Adam: I guess I'll just tell little miss butterflies and rainbows that she's been fucking someone who's killed-- thousands of her people. I'm sure your relationship will be fine.

Still, despite her communication issues, Vaggie's heart is in the right place:

Rosie: If there's anything I've learned, it's that words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth. So, what have her actions said?

Vaggie is a person of few words. This may be why she has less songs than other characters. Still, she lets her actions speak, so she is given a ballet lesson by a very talented ballerina:

DANCING THROUGH LIFE

Carmilla has a ballet motif, as her outfit resembles that of a ballerina and her two daughters are called after protagonists of famous ballets. So, it is only natural that she teaches Vaggie a new way to fight through dancing.

Vaggie was taught to fight with hate and anger. So, her fighting style is aggressive and focused on attack:

Carmilla: You leave yourself open with every swing. You fight like someone unafraid of harm, and this is what you'll take advantage of. Angels wield no shields, little armor and fight with reckless abandon.

Carmilla tells her she should instead dedicate herself to love, protection and defense:

Fuel yourself with the fear of losin' That somebody who's your reason to live Harnеss your heart and you can't help choosin' To fight with all you can give

Vaggie shouldn't just fight. She should dance:

She shouldn't hate:

I see you're driven by your detestation Your every step is stoked with animus You need a different type of motivation Or there's no way that you can handle this

She should love:

Out for love~ Love~ Think of who you care about Protect them and be out For love~ Love~

Vaggie listens to these teachings and applies them in the finale, in two ways.

She sings her love for Charlie in More Than Anything Reprise:

Vaggie: You've already done so much So many lives you've changed So many souls you've touched And in the end, if it's only me you've saved Charlie and Vaggie: There's something that I've been dying to say More than anything, more than anything Need you to know I love you more than anything More than anything

As stated above, Vaggie doesn't sing much in season 1, but in the final episode she gets a short moment to express how she feels to Charlie. This is in contrast to Whatever It Takes, where she sends her girlfriend away before she starts singing. More Than Anything Reprise shows Vaggie's progress when it comes to self-expression.

She follows Carmilla's advices while fighting

On a practical level she covers herself up in a battle suit inspired by Carmilla's outfit, she wears a harness on her heart and ties her hair:

Vaggie: I'm not used to fighting with long hair.

On a thematic level she reveals her wings and defeats Lute, when the exorcist threathens Charlie:

Lute: So, I'll spare you the pain of seeing your demon bitch die.

And Vaggie eventually chooses not to kill the other angel:

Lute: Do it, then. Correct your mistake. Vaggie: Seriously, you're pathetic, you know that? Ready to die rather than accepting mercy? No, live. Live knowing that you only do because I let you, the failure.

Vaggie is asked to choose between her hate for Lute and her love for Charlie and she chooses the latter. This is why the scene ends with Vaggie leaving Lute and flying to help Charlie. She is given the chance to get revenge, but doesn't take it. She is given the chance to hate, but she loves:

I know you're thirstin' for vengeance, Vaggie You're out for blood But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love

This is important in two ways:

1- The macrochosm - Vaggie refuses Lute's ideals and defies her expectations. For Lute it is normal that Vaggie is going to kill her. After all, Vaggie is discarded because she shows pity to a sinner, which makes her weak. Still, Vaggie bests Lute in a fight, so she is now strong. It is only obvious then that Vaggie has snapped out of her foolery and is ready to kill. She can correct her mistake. She did not kill the cannibal child, but she can kill Lute. This is how Lute understands the world. And yet, Vaggie doesn't finish her off. By doing so, she moves away from the mentality Lute embodies. She is strong precisely because she can show mercy. Adam is wrong. Lute is wrong. Vaggie isn't out for blood. She is out for love.

2- The microchosm - Vaggie sparing Lute isn't just the morally correct choice, but it is Vaggie's first step into healing:

Husk: (To Vaggie) This one. Judges everyone and everything because she hates herself.

Vaggie hates everyone because she deep down hates herself. She despises Heaven and Angels because she can't forgive her involvement in the exterminations. So, Vaggie hurting Lute would be Vaggie hurting her past self. As a matter of fact Lute is Vaggie's dark mirror. She is who Vaggie might become if she gives in to hate.

A person who hurts others:

And herself:

Vaggie instead has to value her life, so that she can protect others. She must save others and heal herself. Only in this way she can be by Charlie's side. She needs to let go of self-hate to embrace a healthy love. Vaggie's arc is her learning self-love through her bond with the Princess of Hell.

Obviously this journey is just at the beginning and our Angel of Love has a long way to go. How will her story contiue? We can make some hypothesis, which once again stem from Vaggie and Carmilla's foiling. This is just a theory, so take it with a grain of salt, but Vaggie may have a secondary personal antagonist in Hell:

Why is that so? It's because Scrambled Eggs sets Vaggie and Velvette up as foils.

RESPECT(LESS)

Velvette and Vaggie are opposites in their interactions with Carmilla. Both girls are younger than the Dancer Overlord and could learn a lot from her. However, Velvette refuses any kind of mentorship and shows no respect:

Velvette: Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's cause no one could respect this! You're long past trending! Sorry, bae, but I ain't swiping right! You've lost your relevance-

Vaggie instead comes to respect Carmilla and learns from her:

At the same time, both Velvette and Vaggie confront Carmilla about her secret:

Velvette: 'Oops!' Did I strike a nerve? 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head, couldn't help but observe, that your wrinkled face was turning red! And why are you avoiding war? That's what the guns you sell are for! Thanks to my being respectless, one thing I'm starting to suspect is You know why this angel's headless! Do you have a disclosure?

Vaggie: I know what you did on extermination day. We can talk about it inside, or I can yell about it out here.

They call Carmilla out on killing an angel and keeping this knowledge to herself. Not only that, but both argue that it is necessary to fight back to stop the exterminations:

Velvette: We found it during Extermination day. If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them. The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan!

Vaggie: Miss Carmine, I'm here on appointment from the princess to enlist your aid in the defense of hell from the angelic extermination. We know an angel fell at your hands and we need to know how.

Still, Velvette fails to get through to Carmilla because she uses war rhetoric:

Velvette: Oh, I get it. So Grandpa is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right? Oh, what's the matter, Fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab...

She speaks of violence, strength and power.

Vaggie instead convinces Carmilla to help because she mentions the necessity to fight for loved ones:

Vaggie: We didn't pick this fight, but it's here now. And they aren't going to stop with us. You didn't see the look on their leader's face. With us out of the way, it's only a matter of time before they come for the rest of you. They won't stop until all of hell is wiped out, so you can help us make a stand here together, or you can stand alone tomorrow.

She speaks of protection, love and comraderie.

In short, Vaggie succeeds where Velvette fails. Of course, this is true for Charlie's group in general when it comes to the Vees:

Vox: My dear people! We at VoxTek Enterprises have always been at the forefront of innovation. And now, with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting our focus, to your protection. We are pleased to announce VoxTek Angelic Security is coming soon! Trust us, with YOUR safety.

Katie Killjoy: Breaking news - Extermination day is cancelled! Charlie Morningstar managed to fend off the angelic attack with more than just nice words.

The Vees make big declarations of how they are gonna protect the people of Hell, but in the end it is Charlie and her friends who fight for the sinners.

When it comes to Vaggie and Velvette specifically, it is going to be interesting if their foiling is expanded. If so, then I guess Velvette is gonna help Vaggie mature a little bit more, so that when our ex exorcist faces Lute (her nemesis) again, she is gonna be ready for it.

#hazbin hotel #vaggie hazbin hotel #vaggie #carmilla carmine #velvette hazbin hotel #chaggie #charlie x vaggie #hazbin hotel meta #my meta #asksfullofsugar #anonymous #hazbin lute

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graychrissy · 1 year ago

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🌊Digital Detox + Egyptians lucid dreaming method 🌊

Idk what to put on the title of this post so I wrote digital detox and I have copy pasted the main lines.

In the ancient Egypt the Egyptians use to have lucid dreaming alot and it was extremely easy for for them not just Egyptians but it was also mention ancient Indian scriptures.

You’re probably wondering ‘what’s the secret’? The real problem is often NOT your technique. It’s actually another issue that no amount of techniques, articles, reality checks, supplements or uncomfortable masks is going to fix. It’s your ‘inner game’. Specifically, your subconscious motivation and reward circuits, and ‘dopamine cycle’. Travel in your mind for a second, to ancient Egypt.

There were no smart phones, internet connections, computer animated action movies or virtual reality headsets.

Your brain back then would have produced a healthy amount of dopamine as a reward for pretty basic things like eating, working, exploring, and taking some time to relax or meditate

Now our average attention spans are literally less than 7 SECONDS. It’s probably a lot lower than that, and It’s declining every single year with the rise of new, highly addictive and stimulating social media apps and platforms. When was the last time you meditated for over 90 minutes? Have you ever? I’m not saying you have to do that to lucid dream, but this sort of practice was very common 5000 years ago. In fact, it was weird NOT to do that. And herein lies the main problem.

Your brain is ‘fried’ with an overly stimulated dopamine pathway. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that stimulates the feeling of WANTING to keep doing something. It’s the reason you keep scrolling through Instagram, or keep refreshing your Facebook feed to see if there are any new comments or notifications. But it’s also the SUBCONSCIOUS reason you aren’t able to lucid dream easily. In the last decade especially, there have been billions of dollars spent by big tech to essentially ‘addict you’ to their platforms. Why? Money. The more time and energy you spend on platforms like that, the more money they make. So the task has been given to artificial intelligence. The AIs often just get trained and told a few basic things: 1: Get people to spend more time on the platform 2: Get people to keep coming BACK to the platform as often as possible The ‘AI’ pays almost NO attention to what that would do to your mental health, attention span, motivation, emotions, or really anything else. Much LESS attention is paid to the effect it has on your ability to focus, or do things like, say, lucid dream. Now, the ‘dopamine cycle’ is one part of the problem, but it’s actually pretty easy to fix. There are several little pieces to what I call the ‘modern brain puzzle’. Things that just weren’t a problem 5000 years ago. You can see some of this playing out in children today. On average, children or people under the age of 15, find it MUCH easier to lucid dream than adults do. It’s because at that age, their dopamine system has not been damaged too much. This is of course changing now, as more and more children are having access to smartphones, but it’s an interesting point. In fact not only does the dopamine problem affect your ability to lucid dream, it also affects your ability to WANT to lucid dream (consciously and subconsciously). Specifically I’m talking about your motivation and focus. And you guessed it, there’s your number one cause of problems when trying to meditate, practice techniques like the WILD, or recall your dreams.

After reading this paragraph or stanza whatever,I noticed something,as a kid I had lucid dreams alot with just putting intentions.

My first lucid dream was at around 7-8 years old,and I was sinking when I realised I was dream and I tried controlling my dream and even succeeded,and I was probably there for about 10 minutes playing with underwater creatures and mermaids.

And till 7 grade I use to have alot of lucid dreams but after that I was allowed to use phone and so I was always invested in phone like all the time. By the way lucid dream was pretty normal for me and I pretty much forgot about it and never really paid attention to lucid dreaming. And then I rarely had any lucid dreams, probably 4 times ever since 8 grade and I've noticed every time I lucid dream it's always whenever I don't use any social media.

In 9 grade my phone was taken again because my mother noticed my social media addiction. And after few months I again start to lucid dream for fun easily and effortlessly but during COVID I was again allowed to have my phone and then a new laptop so now my life was revolving around social media again and for the past few year I only lucid dream whenever I don't get to use my phone more then 2 days.

Idk bout y'all but I wasn't allowed to use phones or laptop till 8th grade so the only thing I knew was TV which I only watched after coming home so like my mind was most of the te bored because I didn't had anything to keep it entertain which made it easy for me to observe around looking for things to do.

So how can you reverse the ‘dopamine problem’ and several of the other issues modern life has created? By the way: This is NOT about destroying your phone and going back to live in a cave. There are actually several powerful habits you can install, that will let you KEEP using your phone, laptop etc, but without these harmful effects. Here’s the simple solution to more lucid dreams: 1. Reverse engineer your life and remove distractions, manipulation, ‘dopamine hijacking’ and harmful blue light exposure from your daily routine (along with some other ‘problem patterns’) 2. Get inside your subconscious brain and rewire yourself to WANT to practice lucid dreaming, and to effortlessly do reality checks at the right time, without even trying 3. Learn powerful ‘all day awareness’ and ‘lucid living’ techniques that give your brain superpowers in the fight 4. On top of THAT foundation, learn the most effective techniques and concepts, use our tools to stay motivated, and experience lucid mastery within 14 days. Let’s dive a little bit deeper: First, you have to ‘reverse engineer’ the problem. This can be complicated if you don’t know what you’re doing, but we’ve laid everything out step by step for you. If dopamine addiction is part of the problem, we have to break that addiction first. Then comes your mindset, and your motivation pathways. You need to actually feel GOOD when you practice these things. I see so many people saying they’re struggling to remember to do reality checks, or they just don’t want to wake up at ‘weird times’ to practice. Don’t worry, you won’t have to. It will feel good, and you’ll ENJOY practicing these things. Next, your subconscious mind. It’s SO important to fix your internal beliefs about lucid dreaming, because the chances are you have ‘internal blocks’ about becoming lucid. They’re easy to pick up, but a bit harder to ‘unlearn’. The system shows you how to ‘unlearn’ them, and install new, powerful and self affirming beliefs into your mind. This gives your brain lots more motivation to keep trying. Now, one of the most common things I hear people say is that they can’t REMEMBER to keep doing reality checks. It’s linked to the dopamine problem we mentioned earlier, but it’s also connected to a few other psychological principles that we’ll get onto. We’ll give you a new framework to ENJOY reality checks, remember them without any annoying reminders, and actually get them to SHOW UP in your dreams, 9 out of 10 times. And then finally, we’ll build the most effective techniques, methods and concepts on top of that new, strong foundation. Of course, I’m simplifying this here, but that’s the outline.

Here are some videos that may help.

youtube

If you want to know more about it or get the steps to lucid dream you can buy the book or go through a long step to get it for free but the procedure is very long and probably only for Iphone user.

You find some good articles ways to do the 'reverse dopamine' thingy.(I donot trust my research on this topic cuz I got confuse)

You may use Adambja's tape to reprogram your subconscious and this hacking the matrix tape the comments under the video was so good and I found this tape on someone's success story. You can use this two tapes to reprogram your subconscious and of course psych-k.

This is pretty much all you need digital detox,observing your surroundings and subconscious reprogramming to change your belief or assumptions.

And this will make you even more motivated that you are working on your goals as many of us have the access of devices it's hard for us to keep up with all this method and it's not like we are always busy if we are we wouldn't be scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest all the time. If you read the the copy pasted part you'll see what I mean.

Edit: I forgot to mention it 🥲 if we follow do this we CAN HAVE lucid dream everyday.

Egyptians lucid dreaming tea

This will be quick,so I went to my aunt's place with my mother and my aunt's ran out of tea powder/leaves so she used her daughter's blue lotus tea and after getting home I took a nap and I HAD A FOKING LUCID DREAM,so basically I didn't knew that it was the tea until I was doing some research on LD and found out that in ancient Egypt they use Blue Lotus tea and I found some review about it on YouTube and people had very vivid dreams aswell. This tea basically put you in REM which y'all probably know about.

But I don't like tea😐,so if anyone have interest you can try I honestly want to but my hate for tea is on top on the list of top 5 things I hate,you can find them online people even use Blue Lotus in vape😐not encourageling y'all to smoke but if anyone does you can.

#Youtube #ancient lucid dream #blue lotus #tea #lucid dreaming tea #shifting #void state #void #manifest

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edennill · 1 month ago

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Analysis/thoughts on Finrod's Duel with Sauron in the Finrod Rock Opera:

(I take the English translation of the lyrics from here — it's the 11th song)

Sauron, classically makes the first move, and in a very Sauron-typical manner. "How dare you come here — the world is dark and horrible — loyalty doesn't exist — et cetera as nauseum". I just really want to know what has he got against Fëanor specifically ("Into the world has come a curse, whose name is Fëanor!") He's the only person mentioned by name in the fragment too.

(I'm also fascinated by the costuming choices in the version I usually watch — the newest one? — that seemingly have Sauron steal Morgoth's fashion style. The crown specifically, it's even got three jewels. I know Morgoth doesn't really have much focus in this version, so they may have wanted to use the visual, but still. As for the rest, it's a very standard phobso-influenced design, ginger hair and all. Someone has definitely been on Tumblr, or at least very active on Pinterest.)

Finrod's first response starts off frustratingly vague, in my opinion, and at the same time, mixes together too many images in one stanza. As for "The poison of lies is harsh/But in this world there is no poison greater than love" — I don't think Finrod would say that, not the second part at least. Oh, well, Amarië — but Finrod is not a Romantic, and his view of what Love is would be far wider.

Then we get to the good stuff, however. "The crossbow has been twined with ivy/Harpstrings replaced the bowstring/Blossoms will turn the bloody trail white/The sound of a song will replace curses..." There is a definite echo of "swords into plowshares" with this one that feels at least semi-conscious — and thus makes me wonder... the biblical passage where that comes from is a strongly eschatological one, and I wonder if this does not imply Finrod is now singing about his "dream" or vision.

Well, Sauron's only reply to that is to say: It's too late, "the thread has been twisted too far and too terribly" and denounce Finrod's ideas as "a pitful likeness of the Creator's original designs". (By the way, Sauron is one of the characters to reference Eru most often here (that is two times), only he never calls him by that name. I don't know what to make of that)

Finrod's second verse: "Where there is no oblivion/Runes weave over the stone/And the strings of the lyre/Do not speak of the power of time/Behind me, the youth of the unmarred world has risen like the dawn/et cetera" and "But darkness and slander/Have vanished, like a dream/Such is the law/As long as the firmament is full of imperishable light". I'm quoting in full because my thoughts basically boil down to: this is a lot of words, and I'm not sure what they all mean in this arrangement, or what they call back to — although I think you can interpret them in accordance with my vague ideas about his previous lines. Lastly, Finrod seems to invoke the Day of Valinor in an explicit attempt to match powers with Sauron.

(Also, the phrase "i struny liry" is just honey on the tongue when set to music, I don't know why)

Enter Sauron with "Strength in this world belongs only to the one/who will doubtlessly break the shackles of slavery." Given later context, it seems pretty clear this is to refer to a general promise of "freedom", not to Morgoth and Sauron merely. Which — I don't think is far off from how they would like to be seen, but I wonder what gave the writers this intuition. I don't think the theme is particularly outright expressed in the book, is it? Hmm, or could it be an idea from the Black Book of Arda (which I'm pretty sure goes down that path), or a reaction thereto... I'm never sure just how much influence I should assume the 90s/00s Russian fandom madness (wank and wars included) had on local works. Concluded with "I am free to do whatever I want to you."

Finrod: "My choice is made/And fate is in the power of Eru" — direct refutal, great. "Both light and shadows/Are gifts in his hands." — He would not freaking say that, unless it's supposed to translate into "Your power is not innate either", that I can get behind. And the famous "I do not believe in endless losses." — people have written full essays on that so I will remain silent. Of course Finrod speaks of eucatastrophe though 😊.

Then we get to one of my favourite exchanges. Sauron (after an obligatory segue into how he sees in Finrod a fear that befits only cowards and slaves, because he's like that) calls out Finrod for being "guilty before the Creator". And my darling, dearest Finrod (oopsie, this was meant to be a serious post — I'm afraid I've gotten too deep into blorbo territory) immediately has a riposte: "But the greater guilt is on the one, who in a dark hour, and with open eyes, taught us pride."

Which naturally does not really make him innocent of the blood-guilt, but as a "And you're the one asking about it?" it works very well. Sauron's comeback is "That was done to set you free" which is lame and contradictory with his just preceding attempt to guilt Finrod and I love this. I feel like this inconsistency is something that Tolkien would have agreed with very well in terms of "how evil works" — again, I feel like the people behind this are so strongly either hit or miss in terms of themes that I wonder if the text wasn't written by more than one person.

Finrod tells Sauron that he may at most kill him, Sauron is... enraged and, it seems, instigated, and then we have one of Finrod's best moments in the show, in which he genuinely feels like he almost pities his opponent for wasting himself like that, especially with the right intonation on the part of the actor. "First answer me/Why does the dark throne/So draw your eyes, o Sauron?/As if the dead glitter of crowns/Will save one who was not born?" indeed

As for: "If by such is Light defended, Darkness will triumph" — I hate Sauron for that insult; even more since it's "kicking a fallen opponent" — but it works. He would say that.

And of course he finishes off with "—and me with it!" because Dark Lords are nothing if not preoccupied with self. It's childish really, when not sung in a strong voice — but that's the point, or should be.

#finrod rock opera #Silmarillion #silm #finrod #sauron #the rock operas #my post

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mar3ggiata · 9 months ago

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professional help, c2. 'The urgency.'

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, eating disorders, depression.

song to listen to when reading this: The Chain, Fleetwood Mac.

abstract: this is Jude, this is a little bit of information about me since you care so much, I don't even know you�� anyway yes, I really like being mysterious, what you gonna do about it, punch me in the face? I'm not even real, grow the fuck up. see ya.

Sometimes, she just fucking hated her life. She supposed it was normal like that, it happened to everyone to absolutely fucking despise their lives, no? She wakes at the same hour everyday, does her makeup. Not too much, not too little to show she was sleep deprived and got high last night. Her identity was concealed under eyeliner and blush. She looks like a doll. She likes her makeup, she's quite good at it. She plays with her hairstyles, sometimes a bun, sometimes braids, sometimes loose with a headband, depending on the mood. She walks her dog and cleans his poop. Jinx, a 5 month old Belgian Malinois she adopted when she moved. She found him at a shelter for abused puppies, he was the last one to get adopted. She decided to take him, she planned to move to the countryside soon anyways. Gaining his trust was one of her biggest accomplishments, now the dog had a bit of an attachment issue, but they were working on getting better together. She drives to work with the same 4 playlists playing in her car. Old rock, Frank Ocean, some Italian songs here and there.

She always comes in dressed in dark colours, dark red, dark blue or black. She has 10 male patients and 8 female soldiers. Some of them are combat medics, some snipers. Demolition experts. She works 'till lunch time, eats alone, sometimes skips lunch just to make her body feel something and indulge in disordered eating, then goes outside to smoke and comes back in. After the afternoon sessions, she sometimes has groups together for some group therapy. Then she usually goes home and smokes weed while she cooks her dinner, she acts like she's in MasterChef, puts on music and pours herself a glass of wine 'Quando sei qui con me' she sings to her dog, 'Questa stanza non ha più pareti, ma alberi'. Jinx doesn't even know Italian. Two times a week, she teaches ballet at a local dance school. 13 year old is not old enough to be on point shoes. It's her favourite time of the week though. She gets to finally have control of a situation, she gets some respect. 13 year olds, a fucking nightmare… She gets to tell them what to do and correct their arms, their feet, their posture and they listen! They do, and they like her, they say thank you Alba, see you next week! They learn her choreographies, they follow her lead when she explains a new variation. They even like the songs she chooses for warm up. Mostly Abba.

Alba is not her real name, but they don't know that. A gift from Laswell, when she started working for her. A sparkly new identity, English ID and nice documents that prove she's an English citizen, born in Southampton. She's not. Kept a little bit of Italian in the fake name. She hasn't been in Italy in close to five years. She went on vacation alone in Tuscany once, just to feel her country again for a second. She is not in contact with her family, last message from her sister was three years ago, it went 'I hope you're alive.' Her mother taught her violence. To be in power. To be beautiful and kind. To never ever trust someone who wouldn't give their life for you. Her mother taught her loyalty, respect. She used to never cry as a child. She loved to know stuff, to read about planets. She would kill lizards in the backyard with her little brother, who died young. She saw her first gun at 13. Now, her name is not Alba and it sure isn't Jude. Or Judy, as some patients call her. They know it's a callsign, a code name, everyone has one, especially in the task forces. Hers is Jude. 'Jude looks like an angel, but her words have thorns'. That's what Billy Lunette had to say about her. Billy had been her favourite patient for the whole of 2021. He had PTSD, he had night terrors and was in a mental hospital for schizophrenia symptoms for a while. He wouldn't take his medication, he would smoke, he was a mess. He listened to her though. She was the only one who visited him in the hospital. She showed him he could trust her and he completely lost himself in her. He would call her at 3 in the morning, drop by her office too many times per day, developed a bit of a codependency, but she was able to help him through his pain. He would do research about the treatments, the medicine, cognitive behavioural therapy. Billy was happy now. He was grateful to have had her and she was grateful that Billy had been a great patient. Big challenge. Billy was her biggest accomplishment, and proof of the fact she wasn't completely useless in the army.

She didn't work for the entirety of 2022. She had an accident with one of the patients, classified information. She survived, but man was it hard to live after that day... Spent time with her dog, visited a friend in San Francisco, taught ballet. Price and Laswell felt so guilty they continued to pay her even if she wasn't working. Why she decided to come back she really didn't know. She thinks the truth is she likes helping people, makes her feel good. She likes the crazy stories and that she had a reputation at the base, she was starting to be respected. She craved that. And it really started to bore her, the routine. Until Arash. Seeing Arash so frighted and tense was new, he was a calm and polite gentlemen. She saw an invisible string tying his story and his damned pilgrimage book to the mission she knew had failed in the Middle East. Now, it was a little bit of a stretch. So she did her little research, put her Sherlock hat on, lit a cigarette and started digging.

She had fun, until things really started clocking. He was missing his doctor appointments on purpose on specific dates, to go do what? Call someone? She couldn't steal his phone. Send letters? She tried the post office but found out nothing. The bank really did give her his statements, which was pure luck. He had set his personal security questions as his birthday and his mother's name, which she knew, because he told her. She knew everything about him, even his social security number. Arash really trusted her and she had an incredible memory for unnecessary details. Also, he left his wallet on the couch in her office countless times, it’s not that she looked, it was just there and she remembered. When she saw him stressed and fidgety she knew he was hiding something. She kept a straight face, 'Arash, we can really talk about whatever you want, you know' and he would interrupt her 'You don't understand. The urgency!', he continued to say. She really didn't want to tell Price herself, she would have preferred for Laswell to do it. She took extra time in the morning to get ready that day. She was going in a separate area she knew very little about, and nobody knew who she was. Sometimes people mistook her for someone's wife, or daughter. She chose her outfit accordingly, she wanted to seem professional. She wore a sports bra. There was nothing to look at anyways. She didn't put on lipstick, not even the nude one. She was used to being underestimated, and being looked down at. She was also used to raising her voice and presenting herself as stoic and cold. She knew perfectly how to be violence. She noticed a familiar face once she opened the door of the briefing room. A familiar face mask. The skull guy, she had seen him before. Was he the guy…

She could't get distracted. Her little mission went smoothly. She always knew Price liked her and feared her at the same time, and when it came to his little soldier boys, she really didn't care what they thought. The guy from the day of her accident even spoke to her. Poor thing. She was really amused no one told him about the reason why she didn't want to go home alone. He did really good that night, she remembers him well. He didn't try to speak too much, he sounded gentle. A gentle giant. Unfortunately for him, no one was gonna tell him about that day. When she left the room, she went straight home. She doubted someone would ever contact her again about the situation, they would handle it themselves, and probably very badly. She was driving to her ballet lesson, still thinking they all looked so confused by her words. They were probably gonna do a stupid interrogation, or rather do nothing and wait for the next mission to be a shit show. Imbecilli.

'Alright girls, one more time please!' At least she had her little ballerinas to cheer her up. She had them warm up, she usually did the warm up routine with them. She walked between the four rows of kids at the barre, delivering her corrections. Jennifer usually had stiff hands, and she was tense in her shoulders. Kyla had a beautiful turnout but she often confused her arms positions. The jetes routine, they always forgot that one. 'It's three in front and switch… guys I'm not gonna repeat myself'. She thought she sounded rude sometimes, but 13 year old American girls were a nightmare to work with. Last month, she even had to deal with poor Gemma being bullied in the changing rooms. 'I'm gonna say this just once, three in the front, switch to the back.' she liked demonstrating, felt like she was taking lessons herself. 'Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-da. And we're gonna hold here' she lifted herself on her toes and attached her right pointed foot to her knee. She let go of the barre, holding her balance on one foot. 'Passè.' she said. The girls groaned. 'The more you complain the more I'm gonna make you stay like this girls. We're gonna do one minute.' She went to the side of the room, to play the music 'From the top.'

notes: translation of the song: 'Quando sei qui con me' when you're with me, 'Questa stanza non ha più pareti, ma alberi', this room doesn't have walls no more, it has trees.

notes: Alba means something specific!

translation: imbecilli, means imbeciles.

notes: let me know what you think !! <3

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006

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setrija-nibelungenfangirl · 3 months ago

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Day 7

Fanon OTP(s)

My favourite fanon ships are Hagen x Volker and Hagen x Gunther – which I prefer changes every now and then.

Hagen x Volker:

These two share such an intimate bond as brothers in arms: they always support each other and their declarations of friendship and love are some of the sweetest moments in the Nibelungenlied. Hagen getting mad with rage after Volker is killed by Hildebrand is the tragic cherry on top.

Another main reason why I like them lies in a major theme of the second Nibelungenlied part: the portrayal of heroic exorbitance. There is a value shift in the text after the Burgundians cross the Danube: Starting from Hagen the Burgundians increasingly orientate their behaviour towards a warrior ethos, according to which the one way to increase one’s honor is to not shy away from a fight – to rush towards the opponent instead – and to inflict as much damage as possible to the opposing side (= kill as many enemies as possible). To accept their doom, to provoke fate, becomes the new agenda of the Burgundians. This is a really toxic mindset from a modern perspective (probably already from a medieval one), but it’s really fascinating to me and a very big and dark appeal of the Nibelungenlied, I haven’t mentioned yet.

And the pair of Hagen and Volker exemplifies this aspect of the Nibelungenlied in a big way in my eyes. They encourage traits of exorbitant heroism within the other by supporting each other in their aggressive behavior: Hagen rushing to Volker’s aid after the latter murdered one of the huns during the tournament, Volker aiding Hagen when he makes a widow cry by presenting her the sword of her death husband. Also, Volker is just like Hagen a master in the art of provocation, which makes him further the perfect match for mister ‘Yeah, I killed your husband, watcha gonna do about it, hm?’.

I also like the fanon interpretation of Volker being a more free-spirited person, who likes to enjoy life (and maybe to also flirt xD) due to him being a musician – maybe even with a somewhat sensitive, artistic side? Which is a great contrast to Hagen, who I like to imagine to be more occupied with his duties and therefore more stuck up and less likely to just relax once and a while.

Hagen x Gunther:

Their power dynamic is just so interesting to me. Normally, it is assumed that the king is the one with the clearly greater power and decision-making authority. But this dynamic often seems to be turned on its head with the two of them. Hagen is often the one who makes decisions independently and convinces Gunther of them or simply enforces them over Gunther's head (in the second part of the Nibelungenlied). However, Hagen does not seem to do this to disempower Gunther, but on the contrary to promote his interests and strengthen his position as king. Nor does Gunther seem to be bothered by the fact that Hagen has this great decision-making power as a vassal. On the contrary, he seems to be used to it and even consciously wants it – at least that is one possible conclusion that can be drawn from the stanza 119 of the Nibelungenlied:

Hagen actually acts appropriately when, as a vassal, he does not interfere in the dialogue between two king’s sons (Gunther and Siegfried) – but this is exactly the kind of interference Gunther wants and expects from him here. Which, I think, says a lot about their everyday dynamics.

There are also tensions and differences of opinion between the two in the Nibelungenlied (there are one or two scenes, where they do seem to get a bit rude towards each other), but despite these differences they stick together. I kinda really like the scene of Gunther defending Hagen at the Cruentation – despite it being only one line (probably because of the mental image I have of that scene). And of course, further moments demonstrating their bond are the scenes of Gunther and his brothers not handing over Hagen to Kriemhild and Hagen not revealing the hiding place of the hoard to Kriemhild.

Hagen's backstory, that he spent his childhood and youth as a hostage at Etzel’s court in Gunther’s place, also adds an interesting aspect to their dynamic. And the Waltharius can provide further material for additional angst between the two.

Hagen x Walther:

I also like Hagen x Walther for being childhood friends and comrades in arms, who share a deep and intimate bond: Hagen almost not being able to leave Walther’s embrace, before fleeing to Worms. Walther lamenting, where their famous harmony went. The sight of Hagen letting Walther forget about his father and not caring much about his home.

Them spending their childhood and youth as hostages in a faraway land as well as the events of the Waltharius itself leave plenty of room for angst and complicated feelings between these two. Their friendship surviving and these two laughing together, despite mutilating each other mere moments ago, is a bitter sweet ending in the Waltharius.

#30 days nibelungen challenge #nibelungenlied #hagen von tronje #volker von alzey #gunther #walther von spanien #nibelungen meta #nibelungensage #hagen x volker #hagen x gunther #hagen x walther

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thorraborinn · 1 year ago

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I know you have done posts about the etymology of the name Sigyn, but what I was wondering was if you might know where the idea that she's a Valkyrie comes from? I see a lot of posts on here saying that her name means friend of victory and that means she was a badass Valkyrie serving Odin, which doesn't make any sense or seem likely to me. I honestly feel this way because of stanza 22 of Lokasenna, wherein Loki calls out Odin's treatment of humans in battle, which makes me question why he would marry a Valkyrie. I don't know, maybe someone else can answer this, if not. I'm going to write a post about my continued quest to find more fun books about Norse mythology and Loki especially, so I will most likely mention it in that.

I agree with you that the theory that Sigyn is a valkyrie is not correct. I'm not sure where it originated, but there are a few reasons that I am not surprised that people believe it.

Sigyn has been studied and debated for well over a hundred years, but nobody really proposed a good etymology for her name until 2017, and he did it in a very dense linguistics paper that's difficult for most people to understand. Especially in his second, more verbose paper on the subject, he also included a lot of comparative Indo-European mythology that most people rightly regard as speculative and outdated, and while it doesn't ruin his etymological argument, some non-linguists might object to it and find the author less credible because of it.

The element sig- or sigr- means 'victory' and is very common in Old Norse names in general, and occurs twice in Valkyrie names (Sigrdrífa and Sigrún). It's much more common in human names, but Sigrdrífa is an important enough figure to stand out and probably adds to the perception that sig- names are typical of valkyries.

We are now fairly certain that Sigyn's name is actually Sígyn with a long i, so it isn't 'victory' at all, and most likely originally meant something to do with pouring liquid, but again, this was only formally demonstrated in 2017 in a paper that few people have read. So the 'victory' interpretation prevails for now. It had a 100+ year head start, and it will take a long time for Ginevra's new etymology to reach people.

Since deity names usually have some connection to the deity's role, domain, or actions they perform in myth, it seemed for a long time like there was an unanswered question about what exactly Sigyn did that was victorious enough to be named that. Deciding that she must be a valkyrie is a neat solution to that question, because it would mean she doesn't have to acquire victory herself, but because valkyries pertain to granting or withholding victory in general it would make sense for a valkyrie to have that name.

The last thing that I can think of is that it could be an extension to a theory about why Loki is hanging around with the æsir to begin with. It's a common theory that Loki's mother Laufey was an áss and that's why he took her name as a matronymic rather than his jötunn father's. But it also makes some sense to propose that he married into the æsir. It's enough to suggest that Sigyn is an áss, but to say that she is a valkyrie ties up the previous two points and connects it to this one, because valkyries pertain to the æsir through Óðinn, even without really being æsir themselves.

So basically, it's a nice, neat theory that cleanly ties up a lot of loose ends, it's just that whenever you find one of those in the field of Norse mythology it's almost always wrong.

[Edit] I should also add that I understand that for some people this is really more of a gut feeling interpretation and that many people have found meaning in the 'victory-friend(fem.)' interpretation even while understanding that it isn't etymological, I'm really not trying to dismantle any of that, but just to clarify what's represented directly in medieval texts.

#sigyn #sígyn #avatar216

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littlerat2 · 6 months ago

Text

Pillows

@prinxietyweek

Prinxiety Week Day 5

Prompt: Pillows

Warnings: None

Words: 1174

AO3

Author’s Note: So sorry this is late, y'all. I had a busy day, and I still hadn't edited it, but here it is! Only like, twenty minutes after midnight LMAO

Roman smiled down at his boyfriend. The two were laying on Roman's bed, Virgil draped over Roman's legs and head resting on Roman's stomach like a pillow. He was sound asleep, arms wrapped under Roman's torso in a way that ensured they would be numb when he woke up. Roman's laptop rested on Virgil's shoulder blades as he typed away.

They'd do this a few times a week. Virgil would catch up on sleep while Roman worked on a story or poem. It was the most peaceful part of Roman's day. He could just relax into his writing with his melted boyfriend on his stomach.

He was just starting to get into the groove of writing when heard a knock at the door.

"Just a second," he called softly, not wanting to wake Virgil. He pulled his comforter over the smaller man's head, waiting to see if he stirred. When he didn't, Roman called back. "Okay, you can come in."

The others didn’t know they were dating. Virgil wasn’t ready to tell anyone yet, and Roman prioritized Virgil’s comfort over wanting to show off his sweet boyfriend.

He’d talked to the others when Virgil was asleep like this. He was usually out cold by the time anyone wanted to talk to him, so nobody questioned much movement under the covers.

The door swung open slowly, and Roman smiled and waved as Patton took a step or two inside the doorway.

“Hello, Padre! What can I do for you?” He asked with a soft smile.

“Hey, Ro. I just wanted to see if you’ve seen Virgil? I haven’t seen him much today and I just want to be sure he’s okay.”

“I think he said something about taking a nap,” Roman said, trying not to smile at the sleepy bundle of eyeshadow and hair dye dozing on his stomach. He wasn’t technically lying. Virgil did say something about taking a nap. He just left out the part where he looked pointedly at Roman when he said it. He left out the part where Roman left soon after to find Virgil curled up in his bed. And he left out the part where Virgil was still dead to the world on his stomach under his huge, red, faux feather comforter.

“Oh, that’s good,” Patton chirped, the worried pinch in his browline evening out. “He seemed really tired this morning.”

“Yeah. I’m glad he’s getting some rest.”

Roman expected that to be the end of their conversation, but Patton came and sat on the side of his bed. He didn’t quite mind. He liked talking to Patton. He just hoped the shift in the mattress didn’t wake Virgil.

“What’cha writing?” Patton asked with a smile. Roman lit up, opening his mouth to share, but closed it before any words escaped.

He looked at the purple text on the screen staring back at him. The mushy words he’d written about Virgil in his poetry document when his brain wouldn’t focus on anything else.

“Ro?” Patton’s voice startled him out of his thoughts.

“Right! Sorry. This one… this one isn’t ready to share just yet. But I’ve got something else I’ve been looking for feedback on, if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course!” Patton beamed excitedly. He always seemed to like reading Roman’s work, whether it be a poem, a story, or something else.

Roman scrolled up to a different part of the document. This one was still about Virgil, but much less specific. Patton probably wouldn’t be able to tell who it was about, and he had been looking for some feedback on it. He’d written it for Virgil months ago, but still hadn’t shown it to him yet. He was nervous. He wanted it to be perfect.

He changed the text color to black, and handed the laptop over to Patton. His eyes scanned over the stanzas, a smile growing as he read. Once he finished, he handed it back.

“I love it!” complimented Patton. Roman was expecting the sweet statement to be followed by some sort of feedback, but he was met instead with eyes narrowing mischievously. “So… Who’s it for?”

Roman tensed. He should have seen it coming.

“Well-” He was cut short by rustling under the covers, and Roman froze. Crap. Virgil poked his head out, his hair an adorable mess. He blinked his eyes open sleepily and looked up at Roman, resting his chin on Roman’s sternum.

“Did you say somethin’, Ro?” He mumbled. He hadn’t noticed Patton yet.

“Uh…” Roman trailed off, eyes darting between Virgil and Patton. Virgil’s sleep riddled brain seemed to have caught up, and he turned his head to look at Patton.

“Oh.” Virgil stared at Patton for a few seconds before laying his head back on Roman’s stomach. He retrieved one of his hands from under Roman’s torso and gave a small wave, before shaking off the static-y numbness. Patton waved back, smiling.

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton said with a little giggle. He threw the smallest of smug smiles Roman’s way, but his eyes were alight with questions.

Roman looked down at Virgil, who just shrugged.

“You can tell him, if he doesn’t tell anyone else,” he murmured, already edging closer to sleep again. Maybe it was his drowsy state, but Roman honestly expected panic, or at least apprehension.

“You sure?” Roman whispered, carding a hand through Virgil’s fluffy hair.

“Mhm. Tell me how it goes later.” And with that, Virgil was asleep again, letting out soft snores.

Roman looked at Patton once more. He was leaning on the palm of his hand, now smiling widely.

“Virgil and I are dating,” Roman whispered with a giddy smile. Patton gave a tiny squeal, before slapping a hand over his mouth.

“How long?”

“Like… Three months.”

“Three months?!” Patton exclaimed. Roman shushed him frantically.

“You can’t tell anyone. Virgil isn’t ready and I want to respect that.”

“I won’t, I won’t,” Patton reassured.

Virgil stirred on Roman’s lap, mumbling something unintelligible before settling again. Roman couldn’t help the wide smile that broke out over his face. He ran a gentle hand through Virgil’s hair, and he made a content little noise. Roman smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple.

“Aww,” Patton cooed. “You two are adorable.”

“Thanks,” Roman said, not taking his eyes off of Virgil. He yawned and closed his laptop. “I think I might take a nap as well. Virgil and I were up late watching YouTube on my laptop.”

“Alrighty. You two get some sleep. I’ll make sure nobody comes looking for you guys for a little bit.” Patton winked, and walked towards the door.

“Thanks, padre,” Roman chuckled. He gently maneuvered himself into a comfortable position with his arms around Virgil, and pulled the covers over them as Patton clicked off the light. When he heard the door latch, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Virgil’s hair.

“Love you, Virge.”

Virgil didn’t answer, but he nestled closer to Roman in his sleep. Roman smiled. He was glad he got to be Virgil’s pillow.

#prinxiety #thomas sanders sides #sander sides #sanders sides #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #prinxiety week 2024

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boycritter · 5 months ago

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can you explain your most recent poem? i like it but i don’t really get it lol

ohhhh okay. holy shit you have no idea how happy this makes me. idk how in depth you want me to go. but i’m going in depth. i know there’s not like separate stanzas or anything in this poem but in my head there’s chunks it’s split into. overall this poem is about not really knowing who you are or what you’re doing (i’m 17 so all my poems are kind of about this at least a little bit). it’s about uncertainty and loneliness and trying to make something (a place, a life) for yourself when everything feels like so much.

so the first few lines ‘in this one im a cumulonimbus cloud. in this one im mango juice. theres a world where i supernova and one where i pitch drop’ are kinda setting the themes for the poem. like the objects im gonna use to convey the message as well a kinda overarching theme of unstable identity/endless possibilities. and then the supernova/pitch drop part is smth im really proud of i like that a lot :3 idk if you’re familiar with the pitch drop experiment but basically it’s a super super slow moving liquid and people are trying to see when a drop will fall. (a few drops have fallen but no one’s seen them it’s a whole thing you should look it up :3). so that line is saying there’s a timeline in which i burn myself out in a super destructive way and one where i take it slow. and then ‘pitch drop’ is also a reference to testosterone voice changes lol. so there’s a timeline where i live my true life and take it slow.

and then the next part is ‘i cried planck epoch and nothing came running and i cried planck epoch and all my protons were so lonely and i cried planck epoch and all my sheep died anyway. i cried mango juice and the universe hugged me tighter.’ which is using the double meaning of cry as yelling/tears. and it’s an allusion to the boy who cried wolf where i’m saying something is happening but no one’s even paying attention. disclaimer i am not an expert on the physics of the beginning of the universe. like at all. but basically the planck epoch was the first 10^-43 seconds of the universe when everything was super super hot and super super condensed. so i’m saying this is happening and no one’s listening, and even when everything is happening and i’m objectively not isolated but i still feel like i am. and then the crying mango juice part is using the other meaning of cry, and the universe hugging tighter is also planck epoch stuff.

the next chunk is ‘i rained fractals and the dirt sang ion. my electrons touch anything they can get their hands on.’ i like this part :3 the raining fractals is just a mess of uncertainties, bc that’s what fractals are yknow!! the singing ion part is also fun, bc obviously ions are particles and sound is a wave, so it’s a little paradoxical :3 and also i didn’t want a later line to feel so out of place. the second sentence kinda calls back to the ‘i cried planck epoch and all my protons were so lonely’. bc while our nuclei are so so tiny in terms of the entire atom and will likely never touch another nuclei, our electrons are constantly interacting with other atoms electrons. so it’s meant to be saying like. i’m lonely and i’m trying to fix that. somehow. in some way.

the last chunk is the biggest one and also the one inspired by smth @/green-cargaytions wrote and sent me which isn’t posted anywhere but i still need to hype up their writing skills bc it’s insane it’s actually bonkers. anyways. ‘once i tried to derive a function for the meaning of it all and my paper fissioned love and jazz quartet. some infinities are bigger than other infinities and i used to think that was blaspheme but now i think id like to make it idolatry. and i think id like to be one of the smaller infinities. i think i’d like to be closer to it all.’ so the first part is about the intersection between math and science and music bc i’m insane about stuff like that. but also, i tried to find a formula to fix my uncertainty. and it didn’t work. and my paper broke apart. which basically says that you don’t know what you’re gonna do. and you don’t have to know. you can’t know. but in the meantime, you have to love what’s around you and you have to appreciate art. the fact that some infinities are bigger than other infinities is also something i’m obsessed with. and i personally never found it blasphemous lol but when georg cantor introduced that notion people definitely thought it was. because the only infinity is g-d. and idolatry is also blasphemous. but i like the juxtaposition of synonyms. idk how to put this part into words exactly </3 and then the last part is kind of saying. there’s so much uncertainty and instability in the world. and isolating yourself isn’t the answer. you gotta just live life and try not to worry too much. which easier said than done obviously lol but. still. it’s about coming into your body and out of your head. at least a little bit.

anyways this is probably one of my favorite things i’ve ever written and now i get to talk about my thoughts on it. i love this i love writing essays on my own work thank you so much ^-^

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activatebutterflyshield · 11 months ago

Text

More of me running my mouth about music as inspiration except this time its just Dear Wormwood

Prelude. Prelude. PRELUDE. This is probably just a music nerd thing but its so perfect. Despite my horrible understanding of music theory, a prelude is usually the first piece of music that is meant to represent the succeeding and usually longer movements in a single work, but they could also stand alone. The Prelude to Dear Wormwood works as both. It starts out quiet before building up with just absolutely amazing wordless vocals and its just so great folks. Its a summary of the whole album in a minute and nine seconds its amazing folks

Okay Bitter Water. The first time I heard this one I thought oh, its a metaphor for alcoholism. Yes, it can be a metaphor for alcoholism, but it is also so much more. In the broader context of Dear Wormwood its an acknowledgement of how bad a relationship is and that the singer, the victim, feels like they can never escape it, but it can be so much more folks. It can be a about a love lost, with the one who lost the love pining and wasting away without their soulmate. Said soulmate could be a part of the griever themself. It can be so much. Its also a banger but thats a given for the whole album. “terrible fire of old regret is honey on my tongue” is also eternally amazing this whole thing is poetry mates

There Beneath. Calm and flowy and existential kind of but I make a lot of things existential and where were we? But also the line “I saw the morning lead a cavalcade” is bloody amazing. Its such a great and poetic way to describe the breaking dawn, the rising sun, the beginning of a new day and so many other things mates its amazing. Like a veteran adventurer recalling the times when their friends got them out of hard scrapes or something idk

In the Blue Hours of the Morning. It’s a nice waypoint, a chance to catch your breath before the next song which I will go off about but this bit is really just like its title. The time before the cavalcade, when theres still enough light to see by yet its so calm and still and not quite awake yet

Exeunt, which is. It is. Well, exactly what it says on the tin, an exeunt, which is a stage direction for when an actor goes off stage, but its also the most poetry ever. Everyone loves “Fluttering your lashes like ashes and ember” and rightfully so but everything in that song is so bloody strong. “Crocodile eyes I have seen how you hunger”???? “No I cannot trust what you say when youre grieving”????? Like its such a powerful song with all the musicians going ham on the everything and then the lyrics and then the context? Its great its just great

Caesar. A calm follow-up to the headbanger that is Exeunt, but its no less amazing. Im just drowning in symbolism for this one mates. Not only is the morning back and breaking over a palisade but also historical references!?! The backlogs of random anecdotes and stories are tickled awake by the “Look to the sky where the sign will be shown” bit so much like it aint even funny. Its a reference to Constantine the Great, who saw the symbol of the Chi Rho and went on to become roman emperor with it painted on his shields and its so much potential in just three stanzas

This Will End. Fellows this one just hurts. Its so bloody sad and yet such a strangely jaunty tune like the singer has just accepted their sad life and Im always like no! It can get better! You just gotta try a bit! Mates! Im bleeding out!

Pale White Horse. Ohhhhhhhhhh I can get so deep about Pale White Horse but so much of it is about WWI and the Spanish Flu Epidemic and other stuff I do not care to dredge from the depths of my historical brain fluids but its so great as a thing about war and trauma and abuse and so much other stuff just like recognizing someone doing something terrible and that can be either interpreted as oh thats conformation that they were always terrible or oh goodness thats not possible why no why are you like this you are not like this right and there’s no in between. And both hurt!

Where Is Your Rider. Enough metaphors to fill a graveyard (hey Crane Wives fans. Hey. Did you get it? Eh? Idk I thought it was funny) and then some but also oooooh the lines just go so hard sometimes. “But these bones never rested while living / So how can they stand to languish in repose”???????? Like mate youre dead but youre still going to push on and keep on fighting mates it hurts it hurts too much there are too many characters and situations and just stray thoughts I can peg to these two lines alone help

Soldier, Poet, King. Need I say more? Yes, I need to say more. Everyone above and below knows how bloody legendary this song is but take this as a sign to listen to it again. Its just that good. Someone once tired and broken who has found support and is coming back to finish the job they couldnt finish on their own is just oooooooooooooogh mates. Also funny ha ha DND party. Two sides of the same polyhedral dice. Probably a d100 with all the nonsense I can drag out of it at this point.

Dear Wormwood. The album namer. UGH I cannot get enough of this one. Just some of the lines in this one mates. “And in my hour of weakness / You were there to see me fail”???????? “I know who I am now / I know who I wanna be / I wanna be more than / That devil inside of me”??????????????????? Its just so perfect and so amazing and it gives you a warn hug and it punches you in the gut and it helps you up and gives you hot tea and the works mates its just so great

Danse Macabre. One last instrumental. A Danse Macabre was usually a piece of art with people dancing next to skeletons, representing the inevitability of death and the equality in the grave and so many other sad and mopey things but also its just such a fun jig. It really does feel like a bunch of spooky scary skeletons jamming on their graves. And that’s a one liner I never thought Id need to write.

Thus Always to Tyrants. Bloody hell this is the perfect ending song. The singer immediately starting off with “Let me die, let me drown, leave my bones in the ground”, proclaiming themselves free of the worries and pains they started the album with, singing as the blazing sun rises that yes, they are, if not happy now, then at least better now, and that anyone who threatens that will face the new and improved them is just ooooooogh. Mates. If theres one song you need to listen to if you somehow made it to the end of this thingie without also being obsessed with the Oh Hellos, its Thus Always to Tyrants. But please listen to the whole of Dear Wormwood first. It makes the impact so much better.

#me running my mouth #the oh hellos #dear wormwood #i just needed to get out. some. not all. of my thoughts about this bloody legendary album #im gonna do more #probably #theres so much i can say about. uh. most of the songs i listen to regularly #if theres gonna be another one then itll probably be through the deep dark valley #or maybe that one about coyote stories ive already started but that thing is more specific and also sad to read since its about sad stuff #like climate change and capitalism and such #but it will be finished eventually

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spaceorphan18 · 1 year ago

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Glee Musical Retrospective: 4 Minutes (The Power of Madonna)

youtube

Sung by: Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones Original Artist(s): Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

Baby penguin my ass.

I sometimes go back and read 'of the day' reviews, and one of them stated that this episode featured too much music. And I got to thinking, while I clearly don't agree, this is the one that would probably end up on the chopping block. I'm very glad it didn't though, because I think it has more to say than you may think.

And it's only one of two duets we get between Kurt and Mercedes.

Story Anaylsis

It's really nice to be talking about Kurt again... when is the last time???

So, here's the fascinating thing about this one. Kurt and Mercedes both often feel like they're playing second fiddle - especially to Rachel Berry. And here they get to showcase their amazing talents together. But the thing is - they got this huge performance as a thank you from Sue for making her over in Vogue. (Also - Sue is doing this as an FU to Will, but Sue is savvy enough to know talent when she sees it - and Kurt will remain one of her favorites for the rest of the series.)

The song itself is a little random story wise -- and most likely chosen because it was a highly energetic, more modern hit. It's a song about going out and saving the world in 4 minutes? Honestly - the lyrics are supposed to be about saving the planet, and having the urgency to do so. But I can finagle a few things...

I think one of the things both Kurt and Mercedes are doing here are latching onto the urgency in their own lives. Sue's giving them a chance to shine and they're both going to take it. Neither of them is willing to wait around for Will to give them a chance. So, they'll make their own chances. Which speaks to both their characters, really.

But if I die tonight At least I can say I did what I wanted to do Tell me, how bout you?

I think the lyrics are mostly not the point in this one. But I like this little stanza. It speaks to the two of them briming with their own confidence and jumping at the chance to show, at least the school, what they can do.

I'm going to quote myself from my Kurt meta:

One of the things I really love is how confident both Kurt and Mercedes are in this dance number–with the whole school watching. Before, both of them were looked down upon, and thrown in dumpsters, and slushied, but now that they’re with the Cheerios and singing Madonna, they really latch on to a growing self-confidence. Sure, they aren’t there yet, and they have many more obstacles to go over, but just the fact that they’re up there performing, uncaring really what anyone else thinks, is a step in the right direction.

I will say - one of the things that I've often had a hard time buying on this show is that people continually think that these kids are losers. I'd have been so amazed if I saw a performance like this in high school. There's no reason any of these kids get the hate they get except for the fact that the plot needs them to be.

Technical Thoughts

First of all - I love that they arranged this as a marching band song. Not only is it a great interpretation to the heavy sound of the original song, but it's nice to see a marching band used well on screen.

Secondly, they sound pretty good! I love Kurt in his lower register. And Mercedes just owns this song. It's not surprising that they had them switch parts because Amber is much more comfortable with kind of song than Chris and it does show a little bit in the vocal track.

The on screen charisma, though, they both have it. The fact that both Mercedes and Kurt feel so comfortable in their bodies is fantastic. Neither of them are what mainstream society would label as sexy or hot but I love, love, love that this speaks to that -- that these two are both sexy and hot in this number as they play off each other. The choreography on this is the best, and I love that they allow these characters to be in control and confident in their bodies.

Also - sometimes I don't think Chris gets enough credit. Yes, he can be clumsy and fall of a piano (oh we will get there) but sometimes he just owns his physicality in a way that is never commented on is just remarkable.

This performance also has some great reaction shots. I love that Will looks annoyed and almost disappointed. Rachel's 'no comment' was perfect. And I love that Quinn genuinely seems to be enjoying herself. (I love when Quinn gets to be a human.)

Also - super technical thing - but notice all the quick cuts and camera whips? I'm sure that was done purposely to enhance the urgency the song is trying to create.

Fun fact: Apparently, this is the last time Kurt does a duet with anyone else besides Blaine and Rachel until Adam Lambert shows up. Crazy right? Shame that the show doesn't try out varying combinations more often.

vs. The Studio Version: It's the full song! Or more so it feels like they just repeat the chorus a few more times. I do like the second half, though, because they both get into the song just a bit more and it feels even more powerful than the show version.

vs. The Original Song: I love that this song is actually 4 minutes long. It is slightly slower than Glee's version - which makes sense, because that's Glee's trend - to make everything just a little bit faster (I assume to fit into time limit of being on a tv show). As I said earlier, I think Glee's marching band interpretation is really cool - because it's a great in world adaptation of the instrumentation the original song uses. That all said, what is going on in this video? I don't get how this reflects saving the world. *shrugs*

#the great glee rewatch #so's musical retrospective #glee #glee music #kurt hummel #Youtube

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palestaticexchange · 1 year ago

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LA VACHOLIER ET LE CHAT

You don't like putting the trash out. The four flights of stairs you have to carry the bin bag down is your first gripe, not to mention the stink of the bins themselves. Besides, the slim alley keeping your bins safely away from the road is on the dark side of the building. It reminds you of *more than one* crime scene.

So as you reach the steel bin - in your sandals, naively calmed by your evening shower - you can't *really* be blamed for shouting as something grey shoots from the bin causing you to drop the bag.

The bin bag splits on the tarmac. Your hand shoots to the side of your jumper. The skin beneath your armpit is gripped painfully as you clutch for where your gun *should* rest. But you've been home for over an hour and your armistice hangs on the rack by the door.

You notice then the quick, grey mass is an errant and irritated tom cat. Its tail flicks upwards in indignation as if considering whether or not to spray the bin he was trapped within.

You drop your hand, ignoring the white-hot shame creeping up your spine.

After a deep, calming breath you bend and lift the bag with both hands. The split in the plastic runs along the bottom and you lose only a few scraps of paper as you huck it into the awaiting bin with a sigh.

The cat strolls a few feet away and watches you over its battered shoulder, now bored. You consider its predicament. One of the dockworkers, or a bored child, must have dumped it in the bin as a cruel joke. You hope it was a joke at least. The thought of being slowly crushed in the back of an Revacivic truck makes you shudder.

You wouldn't call yourself an *animal lover* by any means, but the creature is small; and has obviously seen its fair share of woes.

Half an ear missing, one cloudy eye, scratches line its flank and the thing's primordial pouch is mostly bald. There's also a droop to its mouth that speaks to missing teeth.

As you place the steel lid back on the can, the cat sits on the wet tarmac and grooms one paw. "I'm cooler than you are," this gesture says. "O' Vacholier, scared of his own shadow."

You don't see the cat again for a week and a half. You forget about it, you're a busy man after all.

It's only as you approach your tenement building, soaked to the skin and shivering from the day's endless downpour, that you're reacquainted. You hear it before you see it; a guttural yowling of misery, ringing out every two seconds on the dot. The creature actually resembles the toupee of a suspect from earlier in the day.

You didn't need Harry to nudge you and whisper 'That man's hair is fake, Kim!' The sodden grey strands had parted to reveal the faint yellow of hypoallergenic adhesive.

Similarly, this *sad* little beast crouches under the tiny awning over the front of your building, it's jowls pulled down by the weight of wet fur. As it hears the jingling of your keys its head snaps to you, orange eyes wide as it directs the next yowl in your direction. "Miserere mei, Deus!" It seems to say.

But you didn't waver under the suspect's earlier begging, and you will not be broken by some pitiful animal either.

It's a rare day off and you are *content*. You're curled in the preferred corner of your sofa, a fresh mug of tea steaming away on its arm. In your left hand you hold the little pamphlet of poetry that Harry had given you.

The poetry is *actually* okay. You'd turned your nose up at the gesture, and Harry had raised his hands; already predicting your baulking. He'd insisted.

He explained he'd bought it from a homeless man who'd cut clippings from abandoned newspapers and included writings of his own. Harry had loved it *so* much that he'd circled particular stanzas for Kim's enjoyment and told him to read those. You figured you could at least entertain the highlighted sections.

You don't posses an artistic mind, but practising volta means you have a softer spot for poetry. Besides, the sections Harry had highlighted were all to do with Revachol, community, and companionship. It was a sweet gesture.

You pull back your thumb and tilt the book to the left, letting the page flutter sideways then pinning it in place by replacing your thumb. Your right hand scratches the cat under his chin.

Yes, *that* was a development.

About a week ago you'd been making dinner. The only shop open in your neck of the woods by the time you'd finished work was the corner store; and it had flooded. Shut. That meant dinner had been *cans found in the back of my cupboard that happen to still be in date* special.

One of the tins was mackerel that you didn't even *remember* buying. None-the-less it *was* in date and Dei knows you could do with the Omega-3.

As you spooned the *rankest* looking stew you'd ever seen into a bowl, you heard yowling from outside. The cat. That wasn't unusual.

He'd started hanging around your tenement almost exclusively. Even following you to your Kineema in the morning - tail raised to the skies - and greeting you upon your return.

What *was* unusual however was that he sounded *close*. Because you live on the 4th floor. You had blinked, and upon considering that you weren't particularly *excited* to eat your watery creation, walked to your balcony. As you pulled back the curtain, two orange eyes peered up at you from the dark.

Later in the week you'd actually manage to catch the cat scaling the fire escape and leaping between balconies to reach *another* room within your tenement; by virtue of an open window. A moment later you heard a woman shriek and watched the cat scarper back out, followed swiftly by a hairbrush.

But on that evening you'd been baffled, and in a moment of weakness opened the door to offer the spent can from your mackerel. Something about the way the beast had purred like an old MC as it licked the tin around your balcony had caused something in you to snap.

You'd let him in the moment you heard the first drops of rain.

You sit at your sewing desk fixing the long tear in the back of your bomber jacket. You've been working long enough that you've released the tension from your jaw.

The Detective had *insisted* you *had* to climb the barbed wire fence. You watched him swear, pricking himself over and over, allowing a smug little smile- *once* he'd made it safely to the other side, that is. A smile that had been promptly wiped from your face upon hearing the snag, tear, *rip* of your jacket catching at the end of your deft vault.

He had grovelled and apologised profusely. *You* had been pissy the rest of the day.

However, you were beginning to calm down. You'd already decided you'd pick up croissants on the way in tomorrow as an apology for your sour mood.

There's a whine from behind you and you turn to see the cat stretch out its back legs on the sofa. Good idea, you think; uncurling from over your desk and raising your wrists above your head.

At that moment there's a pounding on your front door. You roll your eyes. It's just gone 10pm. Whichever drunk dockworker has forgotten which room is *his* can help himself, or sleep in the hallway. It wouldn't be the first time you'd had to step over a burly man on your way to work.

Then you hear your landlord's muffled voice. "Lieutenant? It's the 28th." Last Sunday of the month.

"Shit," you whisper harshly, shooting from your chair. "Merde. God *damnit*." You lean over your desk and throw open the door to your balcony. Then you scoop the cat from your sofa and practically *bowl* the creature, confused and sleepy, through the door; sliding it swiftly shut.

"Lieutenant? Are you in?"

"One moment please." You call back, grabbing the envelope holding your rent off the breakfast bar and opening the door to your flat.

The man's at least a foot shorter than you but holds himself like he's a giant. He enters your flat without invitation and squints as he peers around. "Evenin', Lieutenant."

"Trevor," you reply, offering the envelope. You're hoping he'll take the hint promptly this time. You used to try boxing him *out* of your flat, but the old man's insistent, and you've long since grown tired of wasting your breath.

The landlord swipes the envelope with a grunt, opening it with practised ease and thumbing through the bills. "The damn smell's back."

Great. This wouldn't be a prompt visit then.

He sniffs thickly, seemingly satisfied with his counting, and looks up at you. "When ya gonna shift those kids, Officer? Can't have 'em smoking weed in the stairwells."

You place a hand on your open door, lightly brushing Trevor's shoulder as your arm passes him and effectively guiding him towards the exit. This is your second hint that you'd like him to leave now. You have explained multiple times that you are a *homicide detective* and that kids smoking hemp is decidedly *not your problem* but your landlord doesn't seem to care.

"It's a damn shame too!" The man continues, "Could charge more for the upstairs rooms if the place didn't stink!"

You think about pointing out how the building gets wetter the higher you rise within it, but you've got a pretty good *thing* going on. You *barely* insinuate that you might, one day, do something about his issue of the month; and he doesn't raise your rent. On days like today you're not sure it's worth it.

"You any closer to figuring out who it is?" He cocks his head at you.

"When are you fixing the central heating?" You cock your head in the opposite direction.

He sniffs again. You raise an eyebrow.

Then the man fills his lungs and tucks your money away in his pocket. "I understand, Lieutenant. You're a busy man after all." He clears his throat and steps back into the hallway. "Thanks for rent."

"See you next month." You shut the door.

The cat blinks at you in bleary betrayal as you draw the curtain back and let him in again. You sigh as you collapse on the sofa and he jumps up next to you, already beginning to rumble.

You think about *les papiers scientifique* that claim proximity to cats improves longevity. Something or other about blood pressure and heartrate being effected by their purring. As he curls in a ball on his side and nestles against your thigh, placing his paws over his eyes, it doesn't seem too far-fetched.

You think, not for the first time, of naming the beast. You've been calling him 'Chat' or 'Moche Chat' when you're feeling particularly playful, but these aren't real names.

You don't name him - not because you'd rather not get attached, it's a little late for that - but because there's only one name you *want* to call him. One, mortifying, *embarrassing* name that makes your face flush with heat even when you're alone in your home.

You'd noticed it the first time he lay like this, curled up on his side. The missing teeth meant a couple of things;

One: he drooled. The first day you'd let him stay in your flat while you were at work you could tell exactly where he'd slept by finding the tiny circles of wet on your bed and sofa.

Two: when he lay on his side, like he was doing at present, the fur around his face drooped into his mouth. It was akin to an uneven jaw, skewed further by the long, drooping whiskers that framed his jowls. It almost looked like a rather distinctive style of facial hair.

"Khm." You clear your throat and look out your balcony at the lights of the GRIH.

"Will you come for a few drinks, Lieutenant?"

You finish the sentence you're on, then look up from your report at Officer Minot. She's already wearing her bag over one shoulder, smiling tiredly at you. You notice Chester hanging around by the door to the bullpen. They try this every week or so.

"No thank you, Officer." You say, offering a polite nod. "I should really like to get this done this evening."

"Aww c'mon, Lieu!" Chester calls. "All work and no play makes... Uh... Howsit go again?"

Every other Thursday Harry leaves the precinct early for his psychological physio. It's not the sort of thing he'd have been able to afford outright, but Mr. Heidelstam had mentioned his unusual brand of retrograde amnesia to a colleague studying for a PhD. Apparently the detective made for an interesting subject of research.

It had lightly worried you when Harry told you this, wondering if his condition was being exploited, but he'd been going for a month and it didn't seem to bother him. In fact he actually *enjoyed* his sessions. They seemed to have him playing various word and memory games while wearing an EEG cap. The following Friday you took lunch together and he'd tell you about the games in great detail. On the Thursday evenings however, your new colleagues would try to entice you to the bar.

"And I can't change your mind?" Judit asks, sadly.

"Course you can't!" Chester answers for you. "Guy's a stick! Probably goes home to eat plain oatmeal and do the crossword!" He barks a laugh.

You purse your lips lightly. You don't mind being called boring - you are boring - but something about an Officer as incompetent as McClaine *almost* guessing your evening plans rubs you the wrong way. You were quite looking forward to your crossword. And bran *with* sugar.

Judit winces sympathetically and you sigh. "I suppose," you begin, rising from your desk. "Just this once I'll entertain you. If only so you'll stop asking."

Officer Minot's mouth forms a little 'O' of surprise, and McClaine's face splits into a wide grin at having *convinced* the steeled Lieutenant Kitsuragi to bend to his will. Sure: you'll go out. You'll be *boring* and constantly *bring up work* and they will *never* ask you to join them again. That tends to do wonders.

You wake on the sofa in the dark. The dark is not a problem for you. The dark is safe. The dark *is* unusual for this time of evening however. You are hungry. Where is Your Vacholier?

You stretch languidly, cracked claws piercing the leather of the sofa before you hop down. You pad into the thin room separated from the main space by only a breakfast bar. This is where the *smells* come from.

Some days ago Your Vacholier had returned from his pesky outings with a look of minor guilt.

Up until this point you'd ate like a king. Scraps of ham, fish, bits of cheese, small saucers of milk, and the scrambled egg that he once could not finish. Now you got biscuits. Not as tasty, but more regular with bigger portions.

When you had finished your meagre meal, you returned to him and let him scratch you under the chin while he scanned a long piece of paper. He made mutterings about 'reál' and 'stupidity' and you realised his guilt was not directed at *you*, as it should be.

You could smell the worry on him however, so you supposed you'd let it slide.

The longer claws on your back paws click against the linoleum as you approach the cupboard containing your biscuits. You can smell them through the door. Yet no matter how you paw at the cupboard, or manipulate your head underneath it, it does not open.

Well. Only one thing for it then. You turn and with a flick of your tail piss up the front of the cabinet.

Your Vacholier had started pinning the tiny window in the kitchen open, despite the cold. This allowed you to come and go as you pleased. However, his decision to abandon his usual schedule - and therefore you - was a serious transgression and could not go unpunished.

It's at this moment that you hear the key in the lock. You raise your tail and pad back into the main area. He should *really* have made it in by the time you reach the sofa, but he seems to be struggling. You sit on the rug in front of the sofa.

A moment later Your Vacholier lurches into the room blanketed in interesting new smells. He holds a box in one hand that makes your mouth water. The loud, orange, uncomfortable fur he choses to wear crushed under his opposite arm. He throws it at the rack he hangs his things from and misses.

He slaps at the wall and winces as the dark leaves. Then he spots you. "Oh, hello."

You barely open your mouth as you yowl in return. You have nought the energy to do so. Can't he see you're starving?! Practically wasting away?!

Your Vacholier coughs making for the thin room. Finally! You dart between his legs, tail raised, and he stumbles in his effort not to tread on you. "Oop!" He usually possesses more grace than this. He smiles down at you, "Easy~" He sounds different too. Whatever. As long as you get your biscuits.

He drops the box onto the breakfast bar and you're hit with a wave of that wonderful smell once more. *That* requires investigation. As Your Vacholier bends down to open the cabinet you jump onto his back then onto the counter.

"Hey!"

The box is easily chewable paper and likely holds prizes most enticing. You stick your face in the tiny gap on the side but before you can do much damage a firm paw catches you under the belly and sweeps you *off* the bar, dropping you on the floor. You mewl. You're starving. You need that!

"Thas mine- not yours, *Chat Moche*." He slurs down at you. He's holding the box of biscuits.

You jump back on the counter. It's a little harder on your old joints without Your Vacholier as a middle step, but you make it and- *god damn* he's pushing you off the counter again.

"Enough! Not for cats!" He picks up the box with his free hand, then pours biscuits into your bowl with the other.

Well. You *suppose* they would do. You take greedy mouthfuls and hear Your Vacholier hiccup behind you. Then he's gone. You hear him pick up his ugly fur and hang it on the rack. Then there's clicking as he unbuckles his horrid device, some acrid smelling thing that reeks of fear, and hangs that up too. Boots next. He does this every day, in this order. You hear the one hit the floor, then swearing as he stumbles removing the second. Then he's *laughing*.

You finish your bowl and wander back into the main area. He's sat on the sofa, smiling to himself. "I did *shots* today!" He declares as he opens the paper box. Once again, that wonderful smell washes over you as he pulls something from it. Fried chicken!

You're on the sofa in an instant, climbing first onto his lap, then when he pushes you away with his elbow you change tactics and take to the back of the sofa. He must have eaten most of it on the way home as only a few scraps of chicken remain. More than you'd usually find by the bins however.

"Said I'd win!" He smiles at you before engulfing a strip of chicken. He's not usually this chatty. "S'wot you geh! Neffa fuh wih Kim Kits-" He hiccups again and the smile leaves his face. He swallows. "Ah... This may h- have been theh plan, actually..." You wish he'd talk about something interesting. Like the chicken for example.

You walk onto his shoulder and peer down at the box. He quickly passes it into the other hand and holds it out at arm's length away from you. How rude! You turn your head and meow, loudly, right into his ear.

"Ack!" He swipes backwards at you. "Gerroff!" He grumbles shaking you back onto the sofa.

Fine then! If he wants to withhold his fried meats then you will resume your position of a poor, lowly street cat. The world's favourite punching bag. A martyr for cat kind and enemy of everyone. You heave a heavy sigh and settle into the cushion next to Your Vacholier. You hear him place the box on the arm of the sofa and then more munching.

Then he's scratching the top of your head and you decide you'll let this *second* transgression go. You're benevolent like that. You begin to purr letting your eyes drift shut. You spend a few blissful moments like that, then suddenly that wonderful smell is back and stronger than ever. Your eyes ping open. He's chewed the skin from a piece of chicken and is holding it in front of your nose. You wolf it down in seconds, careful to avoid his leathery paws, and purring tenfold.

When all the chicken's gone he actually picks you up. He usually leaves you to your own devices, but this evening he holds you to his chest and runs long strokes along your back. This is not your preferred way to be pet, but you chose Your Vacholier for two reasons;

One: he had most graciously freed you from your prison some time ago. A benevolence that *had* to be repaid with your presence.

Two: he smells lonely.

The second reason reminds you of your First Vacholier. The old woman who fished you from that wet box, surrounded by your deceased littermates, and fed you milk by bottle until you were well again. You had loved her with all nine lives, then one day that screaming flashing box of metal had taken her away and you never saw her again.

You're pulled from the past as he kisses your crusty head and rises from the sofa. As he stands, he better scratches that favoured area just under your jaw and you drool on his shirt as thanks. The spot always itches. Even now a mass of cells slowly forms there that *nobody* in the building will be able to afford to treat.

But tonight you purr in the arms of Your Vacholier as he sways towards his bedroom. He has gifted you food, and warmth, and a place to sleep without fear of dogs or other cats or men. He has gifted you love.

He drops you at the foot of the bed and braces a hand against his bedside table. Then he grips the end of one sock and whips it off, almost stumbling as he does so. "Aww, fuckit." He mumbles, removing the glass from his face and dropping it on the table with a clatter.

He clambers onto the mattress then falls face first into the pillow. He's purring within the minute, legs still half hanging off the bed. This is ideal as far as you're concerned. You jump onto the back of his thigh and walk up his body, settling into the small of his back.

Tomorrow he will clutch his head and mumble words like 'Bastards' and 'idiot' as he cleans up cat piss and retches. But tonight he shares his bed with you, and the three of you purr; you, him, and La Revacholiere.

#kim kitsuragi #people like drawing kim as a cat for some reason but here's kim WITH a cat #harrykim #harry's not actually in this but kim thinks of him near constantly #can be read as ship or as their mutual crush/ weird codependant friendship thing they've got going on in game #Kim can get a little drunk. as a treat #this was actually a one-shot idea i've had for a while why it's so long #also I've made a community tag for the exchange on a03! so will post some of these there to test if it works (once ive finished work)#cw: animal death mention #i can speak ZERO french btw so sorry for bastardisation #pale static lore

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ourstaturestouchtheskies · 12 days ago

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hello hello hello 💝💝

SO, here to ask you about your spotify wrapped buttttt it's gonna be a double little game so let's go 👀👀👀

first part is about spotify wrapped 1-100; your number 7, 18 & 50 songs and you can add your favourite lyrics here too if you'd like, that's very fun

second part is about the spotify wrapped ask game, so; question no2: a song you didn't expect to see in your top 10/ question no8: longest song/ question no18: a song that describes your year so far

hello my dear!! 💕💕

ahhhhhhhh thank you so much for this!! how super fun! ☺️☺️

(I also included my silly commentary on these bc I guess I can't shut up about music lol sorry about that 😅)

in fact, I'm actually putting this below the cut because I rambled so much I am so sorry 😭😭

okay, so for part one, I've got:

7. old churchyard – the wailin' jennys

I was like damn why was this up so high? but then I remembered I have it on this playlist of calm music that I often listen to before I go to sleep, so that makes sense now lol

18. so long, london – taylor swift

I cheated and included two sets of lyrics here, although I could have added way more lmao. but um. basically I won't get into it too much but I did a semester abroad in London in 2019 that kind of destroyed my mental health and like ruined my life for a little bit there, so this song is very personal to me. I know she's referring to a person, but for me the song is about the city itself. and tbh I am pissed off that I gave it all of that youth for free. so. yeah

50. but daddy i love him – taylor swift

this one's funny to me bc it's not really relatable at all for me and also like the whole circumstance around it is kinda weird but here's the thing: first, it's so fucking catchy that I can't resist it. second, we hang our laundry outside during the summer and listening to that song while hanging stuff on the line in the backyard made me feel like the protagonist in one of those horse girl movies which was kinda fun lmaooooooo

and for part two!

a song i didn't expect to see in my top ten:

for the dancing and the dreaming – the hound + the fox, taylor davis

this I think is also up there bc of the aforementioned calming playlist. actually there were a number of songs I didn't expect to see in the top ten, and I think a lot of them are bc I had them on playlists that I listened to a lot

longest song:

the lady of shalott – loreena mckennitt (11:34)

this is actually a sung version of one of my favorite poems! (the poem is by alfred lord tennyson) and even though it's so long it's not even the whole poem like she cut some stanzas 😭

a song that describes my year so far:

easy – misterwives

I guess all I've got to say here is "it gets easier but it's not easy" amiright fellas???

anyway, all my ramblings aside, thank you so much for these super fun questions!! I really enjoyed answering them, and it's so fun to look back at the year via the music I listened to! ☺️☺️

I hope you're doing well! sending warm thoughts! 🥰🥰

#charlotte speaks #spotify #ask #my taste in music

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darkmagicmirror · 1 year ago

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I've been thinking about @spicyviren 's post about Claudia preventing the sun from rising (and they made a more in-depth post today as well, which is also very good!), so last night I got curious and Googled mythology and eclipses because what if the eclipse actually happens and it's not just Viren's dream? And we know TDP likes mythological references. So...

This is so fascinating because of the "I swallowed her" comment Aaravos makes in Janai's dream.

A demon (or dragon, or-- (etc)) is eating the sun?

(*Personally, I don't think Janai's dream is necessarily accurate for telling us what happened -- but Aditi getting "eaten" by someone especially a dragon wouldn't surprise me.)

And speaking of "swallowing"...

And some of the other mythological explanations mentioned in the article I linked are also really interesting:

(The highlighting was done by Google, so it's not necessarily more important.)

And canon material, especially the Ripples short specifically, reflects a few themes here:

Abandonment - the humans are essentially abandoned by the stars (and the sun is a star): "It cannot be, wept others. The stars would not betray us!" - after the "star" falls from the sky and changes the land.

Crisis/existential threat - "With its impact came a long and terrible night: The earth bled! The seas churned! The sun and moon hid for weeks behind the sky’s screaming storm!" (Also bolded for emphasis because the sun hiding? The fact the moon does too is interesting, but the sun specifically is called out later: "And when the long, dark night had finally passed—for the sun must always rise, mustn’t it?" VERY interesting considering the sunrise mentions in S5.)

Eclipse as an act of creation - though much of the story talks about the calamity, there's also how "[the stars] had rejoiced to look down upon their newborn sea."

The Sun and Moon coupling and creating more stars - this is more of a stretch, but the Sun and Moon did get hidden together, and the Sea (of the Castout) serving as a mirror of the stars... like they're duplicating the stars, though only in image.

Mischievous acts - I personally think Aaravos is mischievous, so hmm.

One side note on the second-to-last point: if Viren learns the Star arcanum, which is very rarely understood, could that, too, be analogous to creating another star?

Anyway this all implies that perhaps a similar eclipse occurred before, when Aaravos had fallen and the Sea of the Castout was created? And we know how the Rise Again short story, which is about her pseudo-resurrection of her pet cat, correlated to S4 opening with Claudia having brought her father back to life, sort of in a repeating history sense. Aaravos's Patience story foreshadowed the fact that all he could do in S4 is wait and bide his time. Ripples could foreshadow S5 being that first "touch" that sets off greater change... and, like with the resurrection, perhaps history repeating itself, in a sense, with a potential upcoming eclipse?

And another interesting line: "The sky opened its maw and spat from its black jaws a tiny star."

It's not exactly black, but I know some people say the ridges here look like teeth...

Also, even though Sol is referring to his blindness, these lines about the Sun "never [rising] again" and an "eternal night" fit into similar themes to the eclipse and the Ripples short.

Also, just going back to the abandonment theme of the eclipse really quick--

The Midnight Star poem also talks about the stars abandoning humanity. "Elarion, unworthy whelp, / Wept as the stars turned black the sky, / They donned their masks / They turned their backs / And left Elarion to die."

(I have more to break down about that entire stanza in another post; I just want to point out the bolded parts for now.)

Now, most of these are references to the past... so what about now?

If I were to guess on how the same themes I compared to the Ripples story might apply to "current" series events...

Abandonment - Claudia feeling abandoned by Aaravos (as mentioned in the Lost Child short)? Or, alternately, Aaravos feeling abandoned (by either Claudia, after she had to flee from the battle, and/or Viren, after his rejection)?

Crisis/existential threat - IMO the biggest threat is Karim potentially joining up with Sol Regem right now. Though some would say Aaravos being close to being freed could be the threat/crisis here. But I'm an Aaravos apologist, so I am not part of that group LOL

Eclipse as an act of creation - Claudia regenerates her missing leg, perhaps?

The Sun and Moon coupling and creating more stars - Viren Star arcanum?

Mischievous acts - Aaravos again.

All of this to say-- I don't think the eclipse is just for show/because it looks cool, but if we consider the mythological beliefs surrounding eclipses, it ties in significantly to the story.

Also I leave you with a few last bits from the article that just remind me of TDP things:

"In many cultures, the darkening of the sun meant the gods were very, very angry with humanity, and about to inflict some punishment. Often, that meant that in order to appease them, you had to kill someone."

That reminds me of the stars seeming to punish humanity for daring to use magic... which is also when Aaravos gets cast down?

"The Greeks thought an eclipse meant that the gods were about to rain punishment down on a king, so in the days before an eclipse, they would choose prisoners or peasants to stand in as the king in the hopes that they’d get the eclipse punishment and the real king would be saved. Once the eclipse was over, the substitute king was executed."

This is so far off, but it reminds me of Harrow anyway? Mostly with the soulfang serpent idea of switching Harrow with someone else. Interesting.

"For the Inuits, the sun and moon weren’t a married couple but brother and sister. At the beginning of the world they quarreled, and the sun goddess Malina walked away from her brother, the moon god Anningan. Anningan continued to chase after her, and whenever he caught up to her, there was an eclipse."

Which reminds me of the line in Strangers, the short from Soren's perspective, where "Claudia had appeared and he’d done it again, a little boy chasing after his sister..."

A lot of it is probably coincidence, but it's still really interesting!

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redinkscrawl · 11 months ago

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Redd Reviews: THE WORLD KEEPS ENDING, AND THE WORLD GOES ON by Franny Choi

Genre: Poetry

Major Tropes: Dystopia, utopia

Representation: Written by a queer Korean-American and discusses Korean-American issues, though the book is not explicitly queer (to my knowledge.) Little to no disability rep.

My Thoughts

Franny Choi’s The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On is a book about many things; apocalypse, dystopia, history, future, COVID, race, trauma, life… but it is also very much a book about endings, beginnings, and continuances. Choi’s lyrical play and word choice often leans into this theme, with poems like “We Used Our Words We Used What Words We Had” and “I Have Bad News and Bad News, Which Do You Want First” blending the beginnings and endings of lines and stanzas. The world has ended, after all, but it has also continued right along.

One time the world ended was in 2020. Choi’s poems are all tinted by a post-COVID perspective for me, and possibly for the author as well. It’s impossible for me to know if lines like “...stitched by girls who look like me but for their N95s…” refers to masks worn for COVID-related or other reasons (poor workplace conditions?), but my perspective on these lines post-COVID is certainly tinged. Given that the author does outright reference COVID in other poems, I find it hard to believe that these lines weren’t at least left ambiguous on purpose.

My second favorite poem in the collection was “Field Trip to the Museum of Human History.” Choi says this poem was inspired by Ursula K. Le Guin, and I clocked this immediately. What’s fascinating for me is that I checked The Winds’ Twelve Quarters, the only non-children’s book by Le Guin I’ve read (though I have others on my to-be-read shelf!) and I don’t believe I’ve read The Dispossessed, the story Choi says the poem was inspired by, nor any significant passages from it. Le Guin’s influence over the poem is just that strong. And now I have another book to add to my TBR shelf!

Related, I really enjoyed the scifi aspect of the book overall. I’m a big fan of exploratory, speculative fiction and have sought in the past a way to write a scifi or fantasy poem without it being a hundred pages. Obviously, Choi achieves this goal in “Science Fiction Poem” and “Field Trip to the Museum of Human History,” but even more than that she achieves this goal in “The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On,” if in a more watered-down form.

My favorite poem in the collection was “We Used Our Words We Used What Words We Had.” I’ve always been slightly fascinated by nonsense poetry and literature, but most nonsense doesn’t make my spine tingle like this poem does. Instead of being silly and charming, this poem cuts deep at something… but I don’t know what. Sense is abandoned for lyricism; phrases are structured for rhyme, consonance and assonance, rather than for meaning. It’s a beautiful poem, and I don’t get it. But I think that’s the point. This poem certainly inspires me to play more with my words, regardless of hard meaning and in favor of effect. The piece is a playful celebration of sound, and I wonder if this has anything to do with her background in spoken-word poetry.

This collection of poems is somewhat haunting for me. I’m frequently a doom-thinker, almost obsessed with intrusive visions of my own death and the death of the ones I love. In my dreams I fair better, as brilliant revolutionary leader or crafty apocalypse survivor, but still the doom is there—why is the revolution necessary? What caused the apocalypse? This is not to say I believe this collection is possessed by an untoward sense of doom—I think any sense of doom the collection has is warranted and realistic. But it’s inconvenient. It forced me to face things I try not to face, for fear my sense of doom would grow greater. The moral of the story here is that there is no remedy, or at least no easy or permanent one. Even if we prevent one apocalypse, another will follow, almost certainly. That said, “Protest Poem” does give us some hope for changing the future… A sense of ‘something will always be wrong but at least it can be less wrong or for less time.’ Additionally, The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On is greatly interested in knowing others.

In this way, Choi’s book reads like a manifesto of sorts, or perhaps half a manifesto. Most manifestos expose the wrong in the world and give a list or at least a sense of the policies, ideals, aims, etc. that would correct that wrong. Choi does a lot of the former, and much less of the latter. I struggle to see a call to arms in this book, despite the aforementioned “Protest Poem.” She establishes empire as the root of evil in some poems, but fails to present a solution to empire. I think this is intentional, and partially because I don’t think the speaker believes in any true, hard endings. Of anything, not just empire. Is this depressing? Possibly. But love doesn’t end either, nor compassion, nor progress. In this way, I believe The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On does carry some sort of hope, should you choose to read it that way.

The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On is filled with poignant lines and exploratory poems with few misses, but a few pieces lost my attention at times.

Rating: 🌎🌎🌎🌎/5

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#poetry #franny choi #bookblr #poetry book #poetry book review #book review #butredd #korean american poetry #hope this one isn't too weird; it's modified from a response paper lol #dystopia #utopia

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