#There's just also something vaguely Spock-like about him

[rahabs]

Oh no! Other squid for me to love!

[sleepymccoy]

Someone I follow is posting about Spock and McCoy after the Katra sharing, but they're posting canon thoughts and I'm all fanon so I'm making my own post lol

Post Katra headcanons!

Spock swears in Southern when he's tired. He really doesnt like this

McCoy understands a bit of Vulcan, but only when he doesn't know the person isn't speaking English. Like, if they randomly switch to Vulcan he can keep up until it's pointed out

They can feel when the other is experiencing strong emotions. They don't know what emotion, but it's like an itch or a tickle in their throat to say the other is feeling something

They know a bit of each other's specialised knowledge. McCoy is passable at astrophysics now, and Spock is an even more annoying patient since he understands the terminology

They also remember a few private moments of eachother's that they weren't present for. Both politely don't mention this, but do find confusing ways to allude to it

McCoy can cook some Vulcan dishes now. Spock developed a taste for bourbon in the evening that takes everyone by surprise

With great effort Spock can project messages to McCoy. With greater effort McCoy can give Spock a feeling that translates to fuck off

On Vulcan they're legally super duper married and Spock just doesn't mention this. McCoy notices next tax return when he's taxed like a married man, not a single man. Takes him months of asking around to figure out who the government thinks he's married to. He files for divorce without talking to Spock

Spock won't divorce him cos he did carry his Katra, but he'll agree to an annulment. McCoy about pops off with anger

Kirk buys them a wedding gift when he finds out

They don't get the annulment and neither can really put their finger on why. Something about respecting Vulcan culture, cos they'll still be married on Vulcan no matter what

McCoy gets a headache whenever Spock mind melds with someone else

McCoy can initiate a mind meld with Spock, which they both get kinda very into cos their brains feel so good paired back up again. McCoy drunkenly described it as being better than sex to Kirk and the idea of that sticks around something terrible

Their telepathic connection is stronger after a meld, so they start doing it in advance of missions so they can be in touch immediately if things go sideways

If they're apart for a long time the connection will tell them when each other is close by. They've run into each other at conferences or in hotels or once on a transport ship they didn't know the other was booking too. They find each other quickly and easily when they're nearby

This becomes an uncanny capacity to always vaguely know where the other is. McCoy is bad at remembering that he shouldn't know and will volunteer Spock's whereabouts sometimes without thinking

They get good at learning what the various nudges and hints from their connection mean. They can tell different moods apart and send messages that the other can open at their leisure, rather than breaking through and being front of mind

If one of them is injured or captive or just bored as shit they'll sometimes pop into the other's head and basically turn into the back seat driver from hell

With everything they know and learn, they're very fond of each other

[shut-up-danny-kun]

I've read hundreds of Star Trek TOS fics by now and it never ceases to amuse me how many different ways there are to fuck up Spock's characterization...now hold on just a minute - this post has a more interesting point than “fanfic writers stupid”, I promise you.

Every time, it's a spin on the massacre wheel. It's kind of amazing. Will he be overly emotional to the point where he's not himself anymore? Will he be so cold it's unpleasant and kind of hard to understand how he's lived to this point? Will he be extremely horny for no good reason? Will he speak in a way that sounds complety wrong?

I chuckle and shake my head. Of course, I KNOW what Spock is like, and MY interpretation of him is the most perfect and correct one. Obviously. He's just a very nuanced character, formed by many people in an unconventional way, with traits that seem to contradict each other at first but ultimately form a rich and unique character that so many people fell in love with specifically because he's so complicated...

Or...is he?

Let's entertain the idea that there isn't one correct interpretation of Spock, that all of these messy bits of characterization are not part of a bigger picture, but...just what they are: a product of many people with starkly different visions, working on a show that refuses to properly develop its characters. What then? Well, then Spock is a Rorschach test. Each viewer connects the random dots in their own way, and ignores the ones they don't like.

Let's use an example: me! In my interpretation of Spock (the most correct one, of course) he is, first of all, gay and on the asexual spectrum, reserved, largely uninterested in casual flirting or sex. When he is interested in the aforementioned things, he tends to be quite ashamed of it.

Makes sense, right? I can show you plenty of evidence for why that could be true. However, in the beginning of the first bloody season, Uhura sings a song about how Spock is actually kind of a heartthrob who likes to drive women insane with how hot he is, and Spock smiles. He smiles at her, as if agreeing and being very amused by all this! This interaction goes against pretty much everything I think about Spock. So what do I do? I explain it away in the most bizzare fucking way possible. See, Uhura and Spock are friends (there is no evidence for this), and Uhura knows everything I've just told you about him (through telepathy I guess? Not like he'd ever tell her!) and she's just trolling him (why would she do that? That is NOTHING like Uhura!). I need to do some Olympics-level mental gymnastics here, the opposite of Occam's razor.

“But Danny,” I hear you say, “it's just the start of the show! They hadn't figured out his character yet!”

To which I say: you can say that about anything! You can blame it all on a bad writer for that episode, and ignore virtually any scene that doesn't jive with your headcanons. It's there, and I can't ignore it.

So...how am I different from the people that want Spock to be thar heartthrob Uhura is singing about? That evidence is as much a part of canon as my favorite lines. Well, I'm not any different, that's the thing. And all those writers I complained about also have a point.

It's kind of a nihilistic take, I know, but maybe the reason Spock is such a cultural icon is because he is...whatever you want him to be: just concrete enough to spur on your imagination, yet vague and contradictory enough to let your brain fill in the gaps.

Don't get me wrong: I absolutely do not believe in this. In my mind, it just so happens that I'm one of the, like, 5 people ever who truly understood Spock (and one of them is Jim Kirk himself). But I still think it's something worth thinking about next time you're mad at a fic.

[sepdet]

Killing Time excerpts #2:

Kirk & Spock compare dreams over breakfast (p 7-10)

(from that totally canon Star Trek novel that Pocket Books rapidly recalled from stores to de-gay certain Kirk/Spock scenes, but my Mom beat the censors to a first edition!)

Kirk poked at the eggs on his plate with the tip of his fork, but it was blatantly obvious to Spock that the captain had little interest in the food.

"I don't know who I was, but ... I wasn't who I was supposed to be." He laid the fork aside and took a healthy gulp of the reconstituted orange juice. "And that's not exactly right either," he continued, not quite looking at the Vulcan. "It was as if I was still James Kirk—the same James Kirk I've always been—but I wasn't in the right . . . place." He shook his head in frustration. "I can't explain it, Spock."

Spock eyed his friend carefully. "Dreams of alienation are not unusual," he pointed out. "In situations such as exist onboard starships, they are, in fact, extremely common." Taking a sip of the hot herb tea, he pushed his own plate of untouched tood aside. He couldn't help remembering that he, too, had been experiencing dreams of alienation and displacement for nearly a full solar week; but something restrained him from mentioning it. "In your dream, Captain," he continued cautiously, "was it as if you were . . . not how you would normally envision yourself to be?"

Kirk frowned thoughtfully, then glanced up as his open palm slapped the table."That's exactly it!" he exclaimed, then lowered his voice as he noticed a young yeoman at the next table cast a quick look in his direction. He leaned closer to the Vulcan, feeling vaguely ridiculous for the outburst, but somehow closer to the solution. "I was on the Enterprise— but it wasn't even the Enterprise—at least not like I know her," he added as an afterthought. "And . . . I kept seeing you." At last, he looked up. "But you were different, too, Spock," he stated emphatically. "I'm not sure, but . . . I think you were the captain."

He shuddered internally, as the haunting quality of the dreams sharpened. He thought he saw a faint smile come to the young yeoman's face as she stood and quickly left the dining area, but he no longer cared. At least it might alleviate her boredom. "And I didn't know who I was." He shrugged uncomfortably. "I must've been an ensign or something, because I remember trying to think of some way to approach you—to tell you that things weren't the way they're supposed to be."

He grinned without looking up, and took another swallow of the orange juice, tasting it for the first time. It only strengthened his resolve to put in a formal request to Admiral Nogura for fresh orange juice at the next opportunity. "And I also remember thinking that you would never believe me. After all," he added as the smile broadened, "you were the ship's captain— and a Vulcan! What chance would a lowly human ensign have of trying to inform the Vulcan commander that he (meaning me!) was supposed to be the cap-tain?" He laughed aloud, feeling some of the tension ebb away just in the act of telling Spock about the absurdity of it all.

The Vulcan leaned forward, and their eyes met across the table. "Jim," he murmured in a tone suddenly deep and foreboding, "I also dreamed."

Kirk swallowed the lump of nervousness which rose in his throat, but he could only stare mutely at his first officer. Guiltily, he looked around to see if the yeoman was still eavesdropping. Bad enough that the captain's having anything but delusions of grandeur, he thought. But if Spock buckles . . . He let the thought drift into silence.

The Vulcan steepled his fingers in front of him. "At first, I believed the dreams were attributable to the somewhat uneventful mission currently assigned to the Enterprise. However, I am no longer convinced that such is the case."

Kirk looked at his friend for a long time, their eyes holding them together. "What did you dream, Spock?" he asked, forcing his tone to remain neutral.

But he didn't need to hear the answer; it was clearly inscribed in the dark eyes, carved in the angular features, written in the almost tangible conviction with which the Vulcan spoke.

One eyebrow arched, and it seemed for a moment as if the first officer might surrender to the human urge of shrugging. He did not. "I do not believe it is worth concerning yourself, Captain," he said as if attempting to dismiss his own statement. Somehow, it sounded far less logical in reality than it had in his own thoughts. "We have observed in the past that our minds have developed a telepathic rapport of sorts. Perhaps I was merely receiving fragments of your dreams, thereby—"

"Spock," Kirk interrupted with an exasperated sigh. He reached across the table, resting his fingers lightly on his friend's arm. "I know it's an inconvenience to your Vulcan logic to have this link with a human, but just tell me!" But the gentle smile robbed the words of any harsh implications.

After a moment, Spock nodded almost imperceptibly and took a deep breath. "I dreamed that you were an ensign," he stated, "and that I was . . . captain of the Enterprise."

Kirk leaned heavily back in the chair, letting his hand fall back to his side. He could think of nothing to say.

"Perhaps we should inform Doctor McCoy," Spock suggested. "Since Vulcans do not normally dream whatsoever, and since our dreams do bear remarkable similarity . . ." His voice drifted into silence.

Kirk glanced at the chronometer on the wall, then nodded. "You're probably right," he agreed. "As a precautionary measure, we probably should tell Bones. But . . ." He put one hand to his forehead, sensing a headache struggling to break through. "Just keep it to yourself today, Spock. I'm going to talk to a few other people and see what I can come up with first."

Spock's head inclined in acknowledgment, and he rose from the chair as Kirk stood and followed him toward the door.

Once inside the lift. Kirk tried to shake the feeling of uneasiness with a deep breath. His success was marginal. But when the double doors opened to reveal the familiar refuge of the bridge, he stepped back, smiling deceptively at Spock's apparent confusion. "After you . . . Captain Spock," he offered graciously.

The Vulcan turned, both brows climbing in a moment of surprise. "Illogical," he noted, but nonetheless stepped onto the bridge first. "Captain, I need not point out that it would be irrational to base rank solely on the basis of dreams—regardless of the fact that I would, no doubt, make an excellent commander.*

Kirk shrugged, scrutinizing his first officer discreetly. "Maybe," he conceded, stepping onto the bridge and pulling the professional air of command into place. But he couldn't resist one final urge. "But keep in mind that I'd make one hell of a lousy ensign, Spock!*

The Vulcan stopped, meeting Kirk's eyes warmly. "Of that," he readily agreed, "I have no doubt."

Next Time

Things get steamy (literally) as Kirk dons a lumberjack shirt and invites Spock to stroll with him in a garden.

See tag Killing Time excerpts for more

[pavel-chekov-appreciator]

I’m sure this au or something like it already exists but I can’t stop thinking about a modern!human!AU that’s just Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, and Scotty as college friends who all cram into Jim’s shitty van for a cross-country road trip during summer break.

They have a vague itinerary to hit up everyone with family in the states’s hometowns, but other than that they’re just exploring. Seeking out new life and new civilizations weird tourist traps and cool museums. They’re all nerds. They visit a lot of museums.

The van is of course nicknamed The Enterprise. It is also definitely only still running and in one piece because of Scotty. They frequently have to pull over for him to tinker with something to get them running smoothly again. He loves it.

Chekov is the designated navigator because the first time they drive through a dead zone and no one’s phones could pull up a map he was the first one to pull out and utilize the paper map.

Sulu of course is the best driver in their group. He also absolutely brought a nerf gun with him and is an absolute menace with it.

Despite owning the van Kirk is actually a terrible driver. He is the one who planned this whole thing though. Lovingly referred to as “Captain” for taking on the default leadership role most of the time and being very good at big picture planning.

Spock is better at detail oriented tasks though, and is more or less still second in command-he’s the one making sure they don’t run out of gas and keep more or less on schedule. When they reach his hometown he realizes that he definitely forgot to tell any of his friends that he had siblings. It’s hilariously awkward.

Uhura has an uncanny knack for making friendly small talk with anyone they meet, and finds a lot of really interesting niche points of interest for them to check out by chatting with locals at restaurants and gas stations.

And as usual Bones is making sure no one dies of their own stupidity. He’s got the first aid kit with him at all times because he knows these people.

[treesspeaklatin]

Beautiful Spirk fics with less than 400 kudos - part 1

part 2 here

It’s fic rec time! These are some of my favorite spirk fics, go give some love to these works and their creators!

I Wish I could Show you, by zjofierose (AOS)

The pinnacle of h/c, and it’s extremely well written. Spock is traumatised and needs Jim, so it's finally time to be honest with their feelings for both of them. Featuring one of my absolute favourite things: Jim Kirk falling to his knees because he's in looooooove.

Palm to palm is holy palmers kiss, by Ahria (AOS)

Oh, this Jim. I love it when Jim is convinced he's not loved back and is a pining mess, but he's also delightfully Jim, so pure, honest, straightforward and brave. This fic is a perfect p0rn whit feelings + hand kink, one cannot want more than this.

This Empty Place, by CateAdams (TOS)

God, I love this author. This fic has a standard, comforting setting: Spock and Jim get stuck together during a mission gone wrong, and you can imagine what happens next. I love it when they talk quietly and find a way to come to terms with their feelings. No more bullshit, just love. Bonus, this fic is written in a wonderfully poetic way.

Meet Me at the Barricade, by lalazee (AOS)

I am obsessed with this fic. Seriously, I don't understand why it's not linked everywhere. It's a detailed AU where Jim lives among the Orions, and it explores the warrior side of the t'hy'la bond, with a vaguely mirror-like spirk. Warning for gore and violence, but if you're not sensitive to that sort of thing, read on, you won't regret it.

Bashert, by Herself_nyc (TOS + AOS)

I will never stop loving fics where aos spirk meets tos spirk. There is also something in this fic that I didn't think I wanted, namely an impatient Prime Kirk who not only doesn't take any crap, but is also very distrustful of aos kirk.

The Sweetness of the Poisoned Fruit, by tuvokholdmyhandchallenge (MIRROR)

I can't stress enough to read the tags for this one, but: mirror spirk, non(dub?)-con, alien biology. That's exactly what it seems, and if you like this shit, go for it.

no place for cowards (or: jim kirk's heart is a tender place), by alienbabe (molotovgirl) (AOS)

This one deserves something like 3k kudos. A perfect character study of Jim, beautifully written, it will make your heart ache.

An Endless Stream of Tomorrows, by remylebae (TOS)

Aaaah, so cute! After The One With the Whales, Jim asks Spock to marry him. I loved their banter, the dialogues are perfect, and this sassy, calm Spock drives me crazy.

Two Very Different Men, by Wingittofreedom (MIRROR)

I am so weak for this kind of mirror fic. P0rn with a lot of feelings, plus the mortifying ordeal of being known. Bonus for beautiful art.

due consideration, by tciddaemina (TOS)

A fic in which Spock realises he is in love and does the only logical thing: he carefully reasons about it. Extremely in character for both Spock and Jim, and they talk about it like two adults, coming to terms with each other and putting their relationship into perspective. And then, of course, lots of feelings + hand kink!!!

[spirk-trek]

I would love to hear your thoughts on kirk's backstory and what happened on tarsus iv, I feel like I've read so many conflicting takes on here and none of them actually match up with the episode (conscience of the king)

Hi anon! The way you worded this makes me think you were just looking for information and not a fic request. Forgive me if I was wrong!! 😅

I think the reason there are so many conflicting ideas is because of how vague it is in canon itself (which is cool, leaves a lot of room for interpretation). Because of this, when I recently wrote a thing about Tarsus IV I also struggled with "research" for it. Here's what I came up with:

!!! Disclaimer! I am not declaring any of this the One True Canon™! This is just my interpretation/speculation based on existing lore !!!

To me, it makes most sense for Jim to be sent to Tarsus IV with his mother, and for her to be a civilian scientist/researcher of some kind. I find it very hard to believe the massacre could have taken place if Starfleet were present, which would include George Kirk, Jim's father. George is said to have been absent often due to his work (SNW), so it wouldn’t be strange for him to be separated from his family (this is also just normal in Star Trek in general, i.e. Sulu [AOS] and like… everyone with children in TNG).

A more recent Trek book called Drastic Measures seems to back this exact idea up (depends who you ask which novels are canon, and this book was written for Discovery so take it with a grain of salt).

Sam would, in the TOS timeline, be 10 years older than Jim (~23). That would make it unlikely he'd be tailing after his mother to remote colonies. It's much more likely he was concerned with his own career/family/life.

So, in summary of those points, I think it was just Jim and Winona. Jim is between 12 and 14 years old, and his mother was a civilian researcher (the novel I mentioned earlier made her a xenobiologist, probably for plot reasons).

Something I do see exaggerated sometimes is the method of killing in the massacre. An antimatter chamber appears to be what was used, similar to A Taste of Armageddon, so it would not have been mass carnage or a big dramatic fight in the end. Just... zap. 

SPOCK: "He was certainly among the most ruthless, to decide arbitrarily who would survive and who would not [...] and then to implement his decision without mercy. Children watching their parents die. Whole families, destroyed. Over four thousand people. They died quickly, without pain, but they died.”

However, these are also quotes from the episode, so I can see why people might think the massacre itself was more violent: 

- JIM: “Four thousand people were needlessly butchered.” - LEIGHTON: “I remember him. That voice. The bloody thing he did.”  - JIM: “Are you sure you didn't act this role out in front of a captive audience whom you blasted out of existence without mercy?” - KARIDIAN/KODOS: “Murder, flight, suicide, madness. I never wanted the blood on my hands ever to stain you.” 

There was a revolution of some kind, probably brought about by people easily radicalized out of hunger and desperation.

- KARIDIAN/KODOS: [reading] "The revolution is successful…” - SPOCK: “There were over eight thousand colonists and virtually no food. And that was when Governor Kodos seized full power and declared emergency martial law.”

If Kodos already had his ideas about eugenics, which it sounds like he did, he would have seized this as an opportunity. This would make him an even more solid comparison to Hitler, which they were definitely going for to at least some extent (this was written two decades after WWII which many involved in the making of star trek were deeply affected by if not veterans themselves).

Because of the above quotes, I also think there’s merit to the idea of there being multiple formal executions where Kodos gave his infamous “speech” each time rather than just once (this would be another reason Jim would remember it enough to write it down), rather than one massive execution of 4,000 people. However, this quote could be interpreted to mean the opposite:

SPOCK: “Kodos began to separate the colonists. Some would live, be rationed whatever food was left; The remainder would be immediately put to death.”

Arguably, the even more traumatic suffering would be the period of starvation and upheaval leading up to the massacre. To me, a 3-6 month period of slowly worsening starvation as the food supply shrank and shrank to nothing would make the most sense.

One aspect I don't quite get is that Kodos's body was supposed to have been "burned beyond recognition.” Since we know from Conscience of the King his death was staged, then this fake death can’t have been pulled off in the midst of Starfleet intervention upon arrival (they would have taken him into custody to stand trial rather than kill him on sight anyway). Burning yourself to death is a highly unusual form of suicide, so I’m not sure if that’s supposed to allude to him being fake killed in the carnage following the execution when the people didn't react the way he wanted or expected? My only theory is that there was unrest and rioting for the period of time between the massacre and Starfleet arriving with relief, and he used that to fake his death once he knew he would be put on trial.

Anyway, this is super long so I'll cut myself off there. Hope that answered your question, sorry for being crazy! If anyone has anything to add, please do!

[thegeminisage]

I have to know about the dead beat ghost of George Kirk, that lit my brain up. Also Spock on Spock violence either/or. both even?

BOTH IS GOOD. tysm. this got so long don't worry about reading this entire answer lol <3

ok, so, spock on spock violence is a fanfic i conceived when i was deep in the throes of trek last autumn. but i had to wait until i had watched EVERYTHING with nimoy's spock in it before i could begin working on it, and by the time i got there, the steam sort of ran out of my engines. so i'm not sure if it'll ever get done at this point, especially considering i sort of veered back into working on something else. anyway, to general concept of this is - while it's very sweet that in the movies and in real life quinto spock and nimoy spock are friends, it's also. love and light. a little boring. i think that really, spock is an individual who is in many ways at war with himself, and when asked the age-old question "would you fight your clone or fuck him?" would unequivocally choose FIGHT every time

the very basic plot of the fic (which is really just a flimsy excuse for spock and spock to be petty cut-throat bitches at each other) is that post stid quinto spock has been traumatized by 1. the death of his mother 2. the death of his planet 3. the death of his boyfriend (hi, jim) and he's decided to break up with jim and do a kohlinahr so he doesn't have to feel grief anymore (and, with his longer vulcan lifespan, never has to watch jim die) because this shit is killing him. jim thinks this is stupid and nimoy spock also thinks this is stupid so nimoy spock and quinto spock spend a great deal of time hurling insults at one another about it.

there is also a side plot that very vaguely cribs from the tos episode "what are little girls made of?" wherein people are getting replaced by androids, and at one point, quinto spock is tempted by a jim android, because, after all:

an android jim never has to suffer! he never has to die! spock could have and love his boyfriend FOREVER AND EVER and never have to fear the pain of loss ever again! that will totally work and fix everything with absolutely zero problems, right?

since i don't actually have any prose written for this yet, i will provide an excerpt from my notes, edited slightly for clarity:

to quinto spock, nimoy spock is a living example of his every failure and his worst fears. he gave up the good fight against his own internal humanity, he TOOK A HUMAN MATE (gross!), and he allowed/indirectly caused vulcan to be destroyed. nimoy spock, old and at the end of his life, has no one. he's been mourning his jim for longer than they were ever together. the only thing he knows is the unbearable pain of grief. quinto spock fears this kind of pain more than anything. he thinks he is seeing his own future and he is desperate to prevent it via any means possible, even the kolinahr - this timeline can be different, right?

to nimoy spock, quinto spock is a living example of the very worst and most cowardly parts of himself, and wastes all the precious opportunities he has - he makes nimoy spock sick with envy. quinto spock has SO many years left to spend with jim and he's going to WASTE them just because he's afraid of what life will be like without him. worse, he's hurting the person nimoy spock loved most by pushing him away, and it's all his own (nimoy spock's) fault because vulcan was kind of his bad. by allowing vulcan to be destroyed he has ruined not only his future, but also his past. quinto spock is destroying himself from the inside over his misguided prejudice over his own humanity, and his internalized xenophobia or whatever, and he's too young and too stupid to see that the only way to get through it is to GO through it, and he won't listen to the one person he should trust above all others (himself) because he HATES HIMSELF, that's his/their whole problem

like, imagine your entire deal is self-loathing and an abject refusal to accept both halves of your extremely internally conflicted being. and then suddenly there's another version of yourself who can stand next to you, who can be blamed and yelled at (possibly punched?), who is somehow doing an EVEN WORSE JOB at being you than you already are!!!!! you have to watch this other you make mistakes so massive even YOU wouldn't do them and you guys are supposed to NOT fight somehow??

ultimately, this is a fic about confronting grief and pain rather than running away from it, but it also morphed into a kind of fix-it for generations (the movie where kirk bites it in the most underwhelming death scene ever) which turned it into a very full project because those two things are a bit at odds with each other, so i had to reoutline it, but the outline IS all ready to go, i just...haven't gotten around to it yet because i'm working on the other project. i haven't given up on it though!!!

deadbeat ghost of george kirk is essentially a story about how completely useless it is to have a ghost for a dad. not a literal ghost, it's not that kind of story, but despite how affecting the opening of the 2009 movie is, we have to contend with the sad reality that if you grow up without a dad there is a high risk of simply becoming chris pine's kirk. like, that's why he's like that, right? hard truths. i only have about 800 words of this and it's quite likely it will never be finished or posted, but every time someone says something horrible to me in real life about my dead dad (happens more often than you think) i add another rage-fueled paragraph. an excerpt (content warning for child abuse and suicidal ideation):

What's so heroic about it, anyway? Jim's dad didn't die to save eight hundred lives; he died to save two, and counted the other seven hundred ninety-eight as a happy bonus. And what became of those two people? His mother a chronically offworld functional alcoholic, married to a chronically on-world nonfunctional alcoholic, whose favorite hobby is hitting his wife's sons with his belt and whose second favorite hobby is seeing which bones he can break with his steel-toed boots. Jim himself, sent to the hell that was Tarsus IV for driving a car off a cliff, who at eleven years old had already been jaded enough to consider just going off the cliff with it. Would George Kirk do it again the same way, if he could somehow know how the world turned without him in it? Would he think it was a fair trade? Either the answer is no and he was an idiot who threw away his life for nothing, or the answer is yes and he was an asshole. Either way, it hardly amounts to heroism. What good is a dead father to anybody? They can't turn up at the school play or the track meets. They can't teach you to tie a tie or throw a punch at bullies or slip you your first beer or bring you birthday gifts. You can't give a Father's Day card to an empty grave, not if you're saying anything true. All the cards say things like Thanks for being there for me, Dad!, and all Jim knows about his father is that there is the one place he wasn't. See, Jim has been in space, which is quite literally the absence of everything. He's also been on Tarsus IV, a planet where people got so hungry they started hacking limbs off of corpses to soothe the absolute absence of food in their stomach. And yet, for all that, the absence of George Kirk is the keenest absence he's ever known.

let people send you an ask with the WIP title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

[muirmarie]

mcspirk month mYEAR planning post

idk if anyone likes these (these being planning posts), but here, it feels weird to have it tucked away in my notes when my BTHB and mcspirk bingo planning posts are on here, so. anywho. you know the drill: this is just me rambling, feel free to ignore!!

the bolded are those i still don't have a plan for <3 - as per my usual these are all tos unless otherwise noted

Day 1: Forced Proximity (“this isn’t a blessing,” mccoy hisses. “one day,” the king says, “you’ll see that is it.” - the one where spock and kirk cannot get more than an arm's length away from mccoy for 30 days w/o causing him debilitating pain)

Day 2: Touch-starved (spock and kirk cuddle mccoy out of touch starvation - this is like 75% done, I just need to finish it)

Day 3: Only One Bed (established mckirk to mcspirk. um. very nsfw. by far the most nsfw i���ve ever even considered writing lmao. currently sitting at almost 12k, probably will be around 15-17k all told. i don't even know how to describe this. kirk aggressively helping spock play gay chicken with mccoy until mccoy finally believes spock wants both of them, idk.)

Day 4: Hand Holding (maybe the one where spock & kirk slowly gaslight mccoy into holding hands with them - yes the tags are spones but i am very certain kirk would be very happy to gaslight mccoy into hand-holding as well)

Day 5: [hurt comfort or against a wall (no story planned)]

Day 6: Protective McCoy (no story planned *eta - actually i think i am going to take the one elian assigned me w/o even asking me lmao, where mccoy drinks the poison meant for kirk, but don't tell him that)

Day 7: Hand Kink (the one where spock is cucked w/ hand sex lmao)

Day 8: Public Display of Affection (would you still love and/or employ me if i was a worm?)

Day 9: Spock is a Hopeless Romantic (the flirty spock one probably?)

Day 10: [Hands or a bonus (no story planned)]

Day 11: Fuck or Die (vulcan sex magic hanahaki, this is, like. I have elements of it, but it’s not nailed down yet quite how it works. it's a vulcan disease but naturally mccoy's the one who gets it.)

Day 12: Aliens Made them Do It (the plato’s stepchildren one - i've been poking at this one since. like. january lmao. it's maybe 30% done, but it's not gonna be super long, i'm just slow with it. it is. hm. not a fluffy story. the platonians decide that mccoy simply needs to learn to say yes to them. how helpful they have spock and kirk around to help underscore the point.)

Day 13: [time loop or sex in a three way body swap or a bonus (no story planned, BUT do I really wanna write another time loop fic and/or can I really handle writing another smut fic lmao. If I did do time loop tho it would be the one where Kirk refuses to leave the time loop until he can solve the no-win scenario, i just don’t know how that goes yet. The sex in a three way body swap would be the AOS mcspirkura one, probably. Or the tos spones to mcspirk one. idk idk.)]

Day 14: Tarsus IV (kirk: i always knew i’d die alone. this is....jim character study, i think? I do need to come up w/ a happy (or at least: not sad) ending for it tho. So I’m still Thinking about this one.)

Day 15: Fake Dating (the one where the royal is trying to marry mccoy in order to keep him, and spock and kirk independently decide to fake date him to save him. also sarek loves trashy romance books. background uhura/scotty.)

Day 16: Lost the Ability to Speak (bones and uhura signing in federation common sign language - yes that's vague but all i need is something to center around tbh)

Day 17: McCoy Hurt w/ Spock & Kirk Comfort (this is like 95% of what i write lmao but i don’t have a specific plot yet)

Day 18: [Jealous Bones OR Oral Fixation (no story planned but it it’s jealousy it’s not gonna be traditional jealousy, bc I’m generally not a fan of jealousy storylines (unless all parties are unaware that they’re jealous - those I find VERY funny)]

Day 19: [Kirk is Missing, Presumed Dead or a bonus - probably a bonus (no story planned)]

Day 20: Accidental Voyeurism (okay the one where mccoy wakes up and his arm is trapped underneath kirk’s head and spock’s holding that hand as he’s laying on top of kirk and making out with him. I will have to find a plot tho. a reason. a Reason. It’s not established spirk either)

Day 21: Bondage (heh established spirk discovering mccoy’s penchant for getting tied up and/or tying others up and then literally not able to shut up about their platonic friends private habits for like a solid three months. they only care platonically of course. you don’t need those other ppl to tie you up bones you’ve got us. this one’s about 10% started.)

Day 22: Mirrorverse (mirrorverse katra sharing, it’s a whole thing, this is out of my wheelhouse but i have some Ideas, but this one isn’t going to be anytime soon)

Day 23: [reunion or teasing or a bonus (no story planned) - *eta actually for teasing i could maybe do the one where spock conducts an "experiment" in a private lab where he has mccoy & kirk work on a project for him while he gets extremely handsy w/ them - he's doing a study ("study" - they're all aware this is just spock's ideal version of foreplay) about human arousal in a working environment, and they're supposed to not let him distract them*]

Day 24: Temporary Blindness (this is going to be such a long messy mccoy whump story tbh. orpheus and eurydice part two. before i can even really start it tho i have to decide on pov, because that….really affects things for this one. but i mostly know how the story goes. also not anytime soon tho, maybe not even this year)

Day 25: Praise Kink (i COULD go temporary awkward ability if i don’t want to write anything too sexy, but the planned version is, like, kirk blossoms like a bashful babe and spock is genuinely moved when it comes to praise, but mccoy turns bright red and wants them to stop? BUT they like so much the way he flushes and struggles to accept the praise that they ask him to be good for them because THEY like it, and so he’s absolutely mortified but still? allows it for them? and they of course like it because they want to make him accept it.)

Day 26: Expectations vs Reality (counseling fic! The one where spock and kirk are dating but still somehow drag mccoy to their relationship counseling.)

Day 27: Vacation Gone Awry (no story planned) (*eta actually i think i'm changing this to Voyeurism and stretching that to make it work for the spirk - they keep coming up w/ weird sex injuries until they can finally convince mccoy to come over to help them figure out what they're doing wrong....he probably needs to watch....actually maybe hands on is better....actually maybe he just needs to stay forever*)

Day 28: Awkward Spock (checking for pulse over the liver instead of the wrist because he forgets where human hearts are when jim or leonard is hurt)

Day 29: Getting Interrupted (mcspirk sexy 3d chess - that’s right they’re interrupting mccoy’s WORK lmao)

Day 30: Desperate Measures (the enemy within one that’s 80% finished where kirk’s wolf and sheep sides both have to have sex w/ mccoy while spock melds with them both, all for very important science reasons - don’t worry about it.)

Day 31: Insecurity (*eta - mccoy gets out of a LDR and is bummed, and kirk tries to cheer him up by putting his name up for the underground "sexiest starfleet officer" bracket that scotty & uhura are running, to prove to mccoy that ppl find him attractive. unfortunately it turns out the crew finds him VERY attractive, kirk is having some jealously-related revelations, spock is gonna kill jim if he has to watch mccoy get asked out one more time, and mcco is yay close to having a nervous breakdown from being turned into a sex symbol*)

Bonus 1: nightmares (look this is fucked, just trust me this is a very messy thing and it is very fucked and i have to make all my maths fit together before i write it or it will feel too flimsy and fall apart, but. kirk's trapped in a nightmare by a parasite that bleeds into the waking world (there are reasons for it) that cause physical damage to mccoy. spock melds w/ kirk to try to change the dream. this has unexpected side effects. - this one WILL be written for mcspirk month i just don't know what day i'm replacing yet.)

Bonus 2: pet names (i think i might be able to fit the kiss me/fuck me fic into this prompt but i’m not 100% sure yet - aka the one where mccoy & kirk use “kiss me” as a SFW swear for “fuck me” and “don’t make me kiss you” as a SFW swear for “fuck you” and annoy everyone around them w/ this silly in joke until one time mccoy says “kiss me” w/o thinking to spock, and spock’s just. hmm. don’t mind if i do. and kirk thinks it’s so funny he starts kissing mccoy all the time as WELL. very pre-them even realizing they want a relationship (except for spock, spock has Plans, thank you). this will be written at SOME point, it depends if i need another bonus/if it fits the prompt enough.)

Other bonuses i’d consider if i need them, but no stories planned: blindfolds, misuse of the bond, uhura helps them out.

Other vague stories i have that i could rotate until they might fit a prompt: pacific rim au, space forgetties, [number]+1 of mccoy getting kissed awake/the +1 getting kissed to shut him up, spock going through the wringer re: mccoy getting hurt (that was written spones but could easily by mcspirk), empath era katra au, post-empath spock won't stop touching mccoy, katra transfer requires a kiss, this isn’t even all of them, it genuinely is absurd how many tag spirals i’ve written like this lmaoooo /sigh 

[multi-fandomedfreak]

Logan and female!Reader learn two terms from each other (author's choice who learns what):

"Alexithymia," and "touch-starved."

(I see this as platonic, but it could work romantically as well!)

Authors note: I love this request so much and it’s kinda making want to write this with Spock lol. Anyway, yeah I’m gonna keep this kinda vague so it could work as either platonic or romantic.

Pairings: Logan x reader

⚠️ Warnings⚠️: fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint

💙💙 💙 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Alexithymia…Logan read and re-read that word over and over again. It was one of those rare times that Logan didn’t know what a word meant.

He pulled the book closer to his face as if that would magically allow the definition to drift into his mind.

….Alexithymia…

Eventually let out a small sigh and put down the book onto his lap, letting his eyes wander over to the person sitting on the other side of the couch with him.

You. You had suggested reading as a way to spend time together even if the two of you didn’t talk while doing so. Reading wasn’t your first idea but ever since the storm outside cut the power, it was the only thing you could do.

The pouring rain banging against at the windows and the thunder booming from afar made the apartment rather cozy. Logan had lit candles for you two to be able to read which only added to the coziness. Even with something that was meant to be a bad thing you both managed to make it enjoyable.

It was nice. The both of you absorbed in your own stories but you still enjoyed each others presence. It was very peaceful for once in the usually chaotic apartment.

When he spoke your name, it felt out of place in the comfortable silence, so he decided to lower his from here on out. Once you had risen your head, signifying that he had caught your attention, he spoke once more.

“I am aware that I don’t usually ask this type of question but do you know the definition of the word ‘alexithymia’?” Logan muttered as he leaned forward so you could hear him more clearly.

Your eyes, illuminated by the soft golden glow of the candles, flickered to the side for a second as you thought of your response.

“Oh. It’s a word used to describe someone who… has trouble processing and displaying emotion.” Your eyes flickered back over to meet his and had a look of…familiarity. Like the word reminded you of something. Or someone.

The words definition struck a little closer to home to Logan than it had to you. Although he felt a little called out by it he also felt a strange sense of…relief. He couldn’t understand why but he felt as though his head had been cleared. Something about the word describing him made him feel something he couldn’t describe. ‘How fitting..’ he thought.

He must’ve been lost in thought because it took you calling his name three times for him to finally look up.

“You alright? You seemed a little lost there..” You gave him a small but comforting smile. He must’ve really been lost in thought as he hadn’t noticed you get closer to him. You were at arms length at this point and he could clearly see the worry in your eyes.

“Apologies, yes, I’m fine. I was simply…thinking.” Logan was at a lost for words, not able to put what he was feeling into a coherent sentence.

‘I suppose that word is more accurate than I thought’ Logan thought to himself. He could almost find it funny if it wasn’t for the fact that him relating to that word wasn’t a good thing. Then…why did he find it relieving?

Your voice grounded him back to reality before he could get more lost in his thoughts.

“It’s a little funny that just before you asked me what Alexithymia meant, I was about to ask you for the definition of a word myself.” You still kept your voice low as you scooted closer to him.

“Touch-starved. I’ve never heard that before.” Your voice was curious yet perplexed, an indication you were waiting to hear his response. You even had your book in your lap with a book mark underlining the sentence the word was on.

He turned to face you and noticed how you were fidgeting with the corner of the page. You had a habit of fighting with things when you got nervous about something or were in the process of contemplating something. He knew this much but whatever it was that you were nervous about…he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Touch-starved. A condition that occurs when an individual is not getting as much physical touch one needs.”

While Logan spoke, he couldn’t help but analyze you to see if you had gotten the same revelation he had.

That you familiarized yourself with this description.

He did see it. He saw the way your face changed to a look of realization. Like something had clicked. He decided to continue on with his explanation.

“People who are touch-starved crave physical affection from others but can’t seem to bring themselves to initiate it.”

You’re fidgeting had taken a pause as you processed this information. His eyes flickered over your face but you had long since moved your head as to not make eye contact with him.

Another wave of realization came over him. The thing you were nervous about was about initiating physical touch. The fidgeting, you growing closer…how could he not see this before? You had even done the same things in various occasions in the past.

You both stayed quite for a long moment, the only sound being that of the pouring rain and thunder outside. Logan made a motion to move his hand, hesitating for only a moment, before finally deciding to wrap it around your tense shoulders.

You stiffened even more for a second and moved your head to stare at him for a brief moment. Logan could feel the tension slowly leaving your shoulder once you realized what he was trying to do. Although you were still quite stiff as you weren’t used to this. Especially from Logan.

He didn’t know what to do after that so he just left his arm there for a minute before breaking the silence.

“Is this…ok?” He asked cautiously, hoping he wasn’t crossing any boundaries.

You didn’t respond for a minute, which worried him, but you were just trying to take it all in. You slowly started to lean into him and once you were comfortable, you let out a deep breath. The tension in your muscles left like it wasn’t even there in the first place.

Logan took this as a yes.

A few minutes went by and your eyes were dropping. The warmth of Logan’s body, the blanket and the rain outside all made it too cozy to stay awake. Logan was in the same boat and he was blinking more than usual to fight to stay awake. While he took off his glasses to rub his eyes, your gentle voice caught his attention.

“You were relieved because you finally had something to describe what you’re feeling. It made you feel less alone. Right?” You’re voice was thick with tiredness and it was only a matter of time before sleep took over you.

Logan was confused for a second before he remembered what had happened earlier. He looked down at you and was about to say something but stopped once he saw you had fallen asleep.

He was grateful. For you and your explanation. And for what seemed like the first time in forever, he could finally relax. For the first time he knew how he was truly feeling. And he knew he could count on you to be here like how you can count on him.

Logan hoped you two could do this again

That was his last thought before sleep pulled him into a peaceful slumber.

[justazebra]

Surprise ticket from yours truly, a ship or two never hurt nobody - The Ticket Courier.

OMG YAY so as many of my mutuals have been victim to the knowledge of, my favorite ship of all time is TOS k/s aka Kirk/Spock aka the first slash ship. So basically. The ship is vaguely canon because of things like. They technically almost kissed when Spock died. They’re soulmates if you read the footnotes. The acting has gay overtones not undertones. But the show started in the sixties so they’re technically not but they are but they’re not it’s complicated. They just act. Really gay. The gayest. My dudes you’re on camera it’s the 1960s so why you doin this

I mean these guys literally made fandom as we know it modernized fanfiction and were the first romantic use of the slash pairing. s2e1 Amok Time was so blatantly gay especially the resolution of the main conflict, as you can see in the above gif, which was later in the episode explained to be even gayer than it looked, because Spock needed to have sex or die and he ended up fighting Jim instead which. It’s debatable since it was never actually explained wether fighting was technically an option to resolve Spock’s thing called the Pon Farr and while it’s popularly agreed that he could fight as a supplement, it never specified that, and he was fighting for having this girl as his mate who didn’t even want him and the fight is to the death, so he’d die either way. Which leads me to believe he still needed to have sex. However, after the fight after he learned he didn’t kill Jim he said that as soon as he thought he had killed him the madness was gone. The viewer can infer that the death of his t’hy’la (closest human term is soulmate) (which side note OMGGGG bro this term was created specifically to describe Kirk and Spock’s relationship and the actual footnote describes it as “friend, brother or lover” he didn’t have to write lover this term was created to describe them aahgahghgh I will never get over it) (Vulcans which is what Spock is well he’s half Vulcan but raised Vulcan and has telepathic abilities are touch telepaths and can create mind links and it’s widely agreed that most t’hy’la have a mind link or the potential to have one and at this point wether telepathic and intentional on the characters part or not they probably at least have a great emotional bond) was so psychologically damaging to him theat it snapped him out of his biologically imperative mating death sentence. huh. there’s lots of other stuff going on in this episode that I don’t have time to write about but. This episode is pretty much the starting point for the sixties spirk girlies writing fanfiction. This episode made modern fanfiction and the slash ship which created modern fandom. Yeah. They’re soulmates. Also yknow how Vulcans are touch telepaths well touching is not something Vulcans do and very distinctly people avoid touching Spock and vice versa. He and Jim touch a LOT ok bye

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 113 - Followers of the Red Angel

Star Trek: Discovery - Season 2 Episode 2 - New Eden

Sorry it's been a few days, haven't had time to watch because my Partner's been sick, and I've been looking after him. He's doing better now, so I'm back!

We open this episode with Michael showing Pike the audio recording that Spock left behind at the end of last episode. It's very clear that these signals are related to whatever visions Spock has been having. Apparently, Spock has also been booked into a psychiatric facility, through his own choice.

Discussion about Spock are interrupted however by another Signal appearing. It is extremely far away though, hundreds of year's at Discovery's Top Speed. Pike give's the order to reactivate the Spore Drive. Paul Stamets here is great, I love how the episode is cutting through his grief and his philosophy over life, death and how it relates to him seeing Hugh in the Spore network.

Meanwhile on the bridge, we meet a mystery: There are humans on this planet! Humans who have apparently been here since before the Earth Achieved Warp capabilities. Enterprise did a similar episode, and it was a fun excuse for a western, so that immediately got my hopes up to see if we were gonna Genre shift here too, which we didn't particularly, but this pre-industrial world was still a fun setting

Apparently, these humans arrival on this planet happened during Earth's WW3, which a bit about in Enterprise, but ENT never really went into detail about WW3, so I'm hoping this is a chance to explore that. Unfortunately that didn't pan out. I am still hoping information about WW3 is something we'll get eventually, it seems like a pretty big part of Star Trek Earth's history to leave entirely vague.

We get a little bit of debate between Pike and Michael's different perspectives on what the signals are, Michael taking a more hardline Scientific approach, where as Pike takes a more philosophical approach, assuming these Red Angel signals are some kind of really advanced species and modifies the Sufficiently Advance Technology adage to apply to deities. Kinda reminded me T'Pol's and Archer's "The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that time travel is impossible" conversations in a way. I find Pike brining up the idea of a god interesting, Enterprise did briefly touch on Religion, but from experience would the first time anything like that has been brought up in relation to a crew member, and I'm curious to see how that's explored.

Over in the hanger bay, Sylvia is working on her Dark matter project, I love her enthusiasm, and just devotion to use it to make a new Spore navigation system so Paul can retire. She's perfect. Unfortunately, it goes wrong and she's knocked unconscious. I love Saru's little speech about how she needs to not overwork herself.

Discovery sends down a ground crew to the planet, and they explore it's church, which apparently has amalgamated a lot Earth's religions together. The worldbuilding of their society is actually really interesting. Apparently, these humans were taken here by Spock's Red Angel, Michael of course wants a more rational explanation, but isn't getting one. We do find out a Soldier's camera recorded this transfer. Our team ask to take shelter in the town's church, as a ruse to find this Camera, but meanwhile on the bridge, one of the planet's radioactive rings is about to collapse and cause the planet's extinction. Saru gives the order to start the rescue of the planet's populace.

Unaware of the impending disaster, we then a little debate between Pike and Michael about whether or not these humans should be reintegrated into Earth Society or if they should be left to develop on their own. They're discovered though, and they're tech is taken so that their captors can prove they're from earth. From here on out, the ground crew get to do some pretty clever low tech solutions to problems, which I loved.

In Medbay, Sylvia starts thinking through a plan to pull the debris away from the planet using the Dark Matter Meteor, and it works! Our ground crew get their tech back, and are extracted back to Enterprise while maintaining their cover. We're then left with a reveal that Sylvia has been seeing a ghost!

Pike returns to the planet to trade a power cell for the Soldier's helmet cam, to find out more info on the Red Angels, and after repairing it aboard discovery, we see that the angel is indeed real, however the feed cuts out shortly after it appears.

I really liked this episode, and I'm loving the build up of the mystery around whatever the Red Angels are, and the various moral and philosophical debates here great. Sylvia Tilly as always was a highlight

[bcbdrums]

🍄🍬🌿🧩 Truth or Dare!

"🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings"

uhmm... hmmm... hmmm... i don't think i can pick one pair, lol. i'm gonna pick. a few.

i'll preface this by saying i'm a canon purist 99% of the time, so when i have a headcanon, it's because i think i can defend it very well with evidence from the source material.

Star Trek - Jim and Spock share a mental link that was created by accident and allowed intermittent empathy/mild telepathy of both a conscious and subconscious nature. this is evidenced in several episodes, but a particular moment on the bridge in The Immunity Syndrome is my solid basis for this. (I promise I'll keep writing "Always Will"... Star Trek is the fandom of my heart. I'll come back to it. I promise.)

Kim Possible - (angst alert! tw: infant death. tw: child death. tw: miscarriage. i hope i did that right...) Drakken and Shego had twins that didn't survive. The event brought them closer together and made them re-think their priorities... This is post-canon when they were dealing with the good vs. evil issues already, and the only thing they knew for sure was they wanted to be together. This event also led them to realize...they want to be parents. (Yes, my fic "Rekindling" is in fact, headcanon...)

Soul Eater - I haven't posted a fic about this one yet so I'm leery to share it... But a story is already in the works. And I'll be very, very vague... Stein's "experiments" on Spirit were extremely mild and rapidly turned into something else... Something Stein was doing to cover for Spirit, to protect him from something else going on in his life... And that's where I'm leaving that because I want it to be a surprise when I post the story! But a couple people I've told might guess this, heheh. (No title for this story yet... Titles are my worst enemy.)

"🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character"

Spirit Albarn did not cheat on his wife. 😎 I'll die on this hill. In a diff post than the one I link, I compared him to Greg Universe (of Steven Universe). The authors present both as characters you want to hate, who you question, who look like lousy fathers. But slowly the story starts to unfold and you realize...there's more here than what was presented on the surface. And maybe the surface was a lie all along. I use that comparison because most people seem to get it with Greg. But only a few people get it with Spirit. That's fine. It's my headcanon; it doesn't have to be yours. And I enjoy other ppl's headcanons very much. But you did ask.

"🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity"

this is where the whole... 'write for yourself' thing, comes into play. i've actually seen a lot of tumblr discourse about this recently... write for yourself! people say. but, we share creations out because...we want people to see them. we are writing for ourselves, and then sharing them...

here's what i'm learning. my motivation to create has to be for myself, in the grand scheme. it's fine to create things here and there for others. and i personally love gifting fanfic. but if your goal when you go into creating is... 'i'm going to tailor this story so this person will like it,' or, 'i'm gonna post this and i can't wait till this person comments!' that's when you're in danger... you're not creating for yourself anymore. now your satisfaction is going to come from...what that person thinks, whether or not they comment, how deep is their comment...

your satisfaction has to come from responding to your own creative drive.... i suppose that's where the advice starts. make sure your motives are in the right place. and... hey, if the creativity is sated? allow yourself to rest! as i'm writing this (it's being queued so, not coming out near the same day it was asked), my writing well is a bit dry. you might want to create, and feel bad you're not doing so... but it's okay to rest! if your mind just wants to daydream but the hands don't want to write the story or draw the piece right then... just let yourself be. allow yourself that space. i think you'll find creativity is better for it in the long run.

'but i'm worried my followers will be disappointed?' now, there you're not creating for you again... if they're friends, they'll still be there. if they're just...a random number in your stats, then again... your motives aren't in the right place. i'm a firm believer in...don't base your self-worth on internet stats. it's just not something i can get onboard with. your value is not determined by number of views, comments, reblogs, etc...

"🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?"

ahhhh hmmm.... i haven't done any immediate clicks in awhile. i'd say if something squicks me pretty suddenly. but blessedly, with AO3 tagging, i can often avoid accidentally running into those things.

wanna be clear though, writing is in art itself and sometimes... well, i'll give an example. i read a fic not too long ago with a twist ending. it is the sort of thing i would not have read had i known. but, had they tagged for the twist it would have ruined the story. so i was not bothered by the lack. i personally would have done the same. am i haunted by what i read? yes. but storytelling is its own art and well...yeah. it's not like in picking up a physical book we're gonna get the tag warnings.

that was slightly off topic, uhhh... i think mostly just if one of my squicks shows up i'll click away. something that's not my thing. and depending on how good the fic is, i'll try to push past it. but if it keeps happening... like there was one long, long multi-chap where main char was kidnapped and tortured and my poor li'l happy-ending heart didn't realize until i was fairly deep in that the whole point of the fic was torture that just got worse and worse... closed that one, never finished.

oh okay but one thing... if a story is VERY out of character, then i'm not interested. like.... the whole point in fanfic is to see more of the character so if it doesn't read like them, then... yeah. that's actually probably the most immediate thing for me. i can handle poor grammar and formatting and english-second-language writers and new writers who are learning the craft... all of that is fine. long as the character is in character, i'm pretty game to read most things.

thanks for the ask!!!!

[chekovs-merkin]

a (draft) list of every time Mr. Spock had an interaction that might be construed as romantic

*this version will be deleted when (if) i fix this list up with some gifs and screenshots*

so, i have decided to compile some independent evidence on a few points that have been in (more than usual) contention lately in the fandom. my focus, as always, is tos. this one is a bit more controversial in that while i very much understand and respect that many fans see Spock as gay and/or ace, i personally feel like there's canon evidence for his being bi/pan and interested on the segs even outside of Pon Farr.

my interpretation is that both spock and kirk are bi/pan, though kirk has a marked preference towards women (see the rodenberry footnote. the love of his life just turned out not to be one. and he wouldn't have it any other way) and spock leans towards men (an interpretation not backed up statistically by the list, but who cares). again, this is my opinion, and the beauty of fandom is that it's in the eye of the beholder.

previously i made a draft list of the evidence for kirk being into men (excepting spirk evidence) in tos. the goal is to have one on all of the references to chapel's feelings for spock too, but that will be more work so maybe in a few days? never trust any promises i make on this blog

three important disclaimers before we begin: kirk, chapel and uhura will not be featured.

the reasons being, in kirk's case... *gestures vaguely at the entirety of tos*; in chapel's because i intend to go into her feelings for spock and how he reacts to them on-screen separately; and in uhura's because iirc there's only one instance of her flirting with him outside of their duets (where it can be construed as part of the performance), and it's not only in the beginning of the series, where it might be seen as Early Installment Weirdness, but also in The Naked Time, the episode where everyone goes crazy. also, uhura flirts with Everyone in this show, and i say good for her.

but enough with the preambles and on with the list:

the what the fuck?!? ones:

Leila Kalomi (This Side of Paradise) - this episode is baffling to me -- did spock and leila have something going on in the past that he ended because logic and rejection of humanity and putting starfleet first? or was it one-sided? spock says it was the first time he ever felt happy, but he acts so antithetically to who and what spock is that i personally find it hard to believe. maybe he just thought that was how happiness felt, and later on he discovers he was wrong (moments like the end of Amok Time, "this simple feeling", the beginning of WoK etc.). anyways cool motive, still drug-facilitated s.a.. big fan of sex pollen fics and that quote spock says about self-made purgatories though

T'Pring (Amok Time) - going strictly by the episode, vulcan biology... the biology of vulcans made spock want her, but he feels humiliated by the loss of logic. her reasons for not wanting him are two-fold: she simply likes stonn better (in that roundabout way vulcans admit to feelings), and she doesn't want to marry an absentee living legend, which, fair. the fact that spock's not a full vulcan must play some part in it too. but there's plenty left for interpretation. they are distant at the moment, but have they always been? how long has she been into stonn? why did they not divorce more amicably previously? i could go on forever, but i this is already too long. point being, even if it doesn't gel with my personal headcanon, there's nothing really wrong with snw's interpretation of this relationship.

the lighter ones:

Romulan Commander (The Enterprise Incident) - this woman is My Commander. I would follow her to the ends of the galaxy for the imagery she has blessed my eyes with. this being said, i think the important bit here is their conversation in the turbolift at the end. spock is not one to lie out of politeness. he could have said nothing, but he used those contorted phrases of his to imply he was a willing participant, and liked it. and she picks up what he puts down. also at some point kirk complains spock is taking too long and it cuts to them in her quarters, implying that spock got kinda into it (also, jealous, jimmy?)

Kollos (Is There No Truth in Beauty?) - this one's debatable, but i'd argue there was some attraction there, in a brainy way. smart is sexy, and all. dr. jones certainly thought so, from her reactions

Adam (The Way to Eden) - Pacifist Discount Roger Daltrey Hippie Musician In A Monokini Seduces Rebellious Vulcan was the tabloid headline

Droxine (The Cloud Minders) - insert cringey line about extreme female beauty. how the seven-year cycle became public knowledge given the drama of amok time is a mystery to me. the attraction flew out of the window real quick when the planet's situation made itself know though. anyway i shipped her with vanna.

Zarabeth (All Our Yesterdays) - i... don't get how logic can be time-locked? is the st universe secretly like a civ game? takes me out of this episode way too much. anyways he almost went full warrior vulcan and stayed in the past with her

the meme ones:

The Computer (The Ultimate Computer) - mccoy said it best.

Surak (The Savage Curtain) - spock, he's your ancestor! and at this point any intellectual crush is pretty quickly superseded by how thirsty he is for That Human Booty Intuition

[bhawk-goose]

just started watching star trek TOS(or maybe remastered, honestly can't tell) on Paramount+ and I figured I'd start posting about it as I write

EP 1: The Cage

not even at the episode yet, why does it have a guest star? This is the first episode, shouldn't this be establishing the main characters? Or does guest star in this case just mean a secondary main character? I don't watch much TV so I'm genuinely unsure

I vaguely remember @etherealspacejelly(who is also the reason I'm watching this) mentioning that in the strange, exotic land of the UK they call jello jelly, so considering how wobbly space just got I think they might be in this episode.

two things. First, they have a very strange alarm sound. Second, how the fuck do they know it's coming if it's at the speed of light? That is the fastest speed information can travel? Is the spaceship fucking psychic?

I assumed after a moment they'd start to do something, considering a USFO(Unidentified Space Faring Object) is on course to collide with their ship at light speed, but no, they're just sitting there calmly

I'm guessing the captain(I wanna say Captain Kirk but they haven't mentioned his name and IDK for sure if he was captain from the start or if there was a different captian at first) said "steady as we go" because he has some badass plan but he really seems like he just doesn't care about this USFO

Nobody seems to trust him, so I'm guessing he's a new captain

They didn't realise it was a radio wave? That's what it was? Why is their security system advanced enough to see the future but not advanced enough to tell the difference between an attack and an old-timey distress signal? Or do they not use them anymore specifically because they couldn't make security systems to identify them from a distance?

Oh, nevermind, it was intentional.

Wait... they just sent one ship to the Talos group and then gave up when it dissappeared? No rescue group or second attempt or anything?

Why are there people in normal fucking clothes on the ship? Has clothing and fashion not changed at all in like 200 fucking years? Even after we were introduced to cultures from other planets? Did they all just already have the same fashion as us?

I'm starting to understand why he's treated the way he is by the fandom. Not even 5 minutes in and he's in a french girl pose. And the doctor looks so fucking done with him too, I can tell he poses like this every time(also I know all of this is probably normal TV stuff, but I'm trying to be entertaining, and I'm not very good at recognizing emotions)

So it is Spock, and there are survivors, meaning we're probably going to Talos. Also why do new viewers learn Spocks name before the captains?

Why is their paper so yellow?

the fucking double take the Lieutenant did when he said "no offense, lieutenant. You're different, of course"

I fucking love the way Spock smiled with the humming leaves. I love him already

the zoomout on the captains reaction to Vina feels like it could be a meme template

Do the pre-emptive megaming knockoffs have telepathy or did they just need a second to process what happenned?

considering how quickly the captain trusted Vina and how cautious he was about the Talos system before the crews survival was confirmed he is either bi or had some kind of grudge against the crew, but couldn't find an excuse not to save them once he found confirmation they were alive

bye Vina. And everyone else

OH SHIT THEY HAVE FIRE TASERS!

hmm... the other guys shot at the door and it did nothing... I know! I'll shoot at the door! Surely that'll work!

hm... I just shot at the door with someone else... and then a third person also shot at the door after us... and none of that did anything... I know! I'll fiddle with my gun and then shoot at the door! Surely that'll work!

I can't believe the captain is so ungrateful for the sparkly blanket the pre-emptive megamind ripoffs gave him. I don't remember his bed having a blanket at all, but he doesn't care at all about this one! So ungrateful

and he looks so pissed about the cool musical glass! This guy is so unlikable

Jesus christ I love these pre-emptive megamind knockoffs. They aren't good people, but they're hilarious and would probably be grateful if someone gave them a cool sparkly blanket

considering how many sound effects they built into their glass and elevators I'm honestly not sure if the sound after they mention the experement is non-diegetic or not

how the fuck do they know the exact brain size of the pre-emptive megamind ripoffs?

oh, the captains name is Pike, so it isn't Kirk, meaning he might just be straight

I know realistically he probably just swung at the sheild to prolong the fight, but I want to believe he did it to give the pre-emptive megamind ripoffs false information about how he fights

I'm going to choose to believe he threw his mace at the guy from like 3 feet away instead of just taking a single step forward and not risking missing and losing his weapon for the same reason

Why do the pre-emptive megamind ripoffs illusion specify woman? Don't they know how gay this universe is?

is this a metaphor for us? Did this show seriously start with a metaphor for us?

I'm fucking wheezing at the tone change that just happenned. Right from screaming in pain and fear to the twinkle of their elevator doors

okay. DEVELOPMENTS. First, the thing the captain pointed out, they have limitations. But also, their technology, the guy stepped back when Pike ran at the cool music glass.

OH MY GOD. They have some way to tell what's going on in the ship, but only on the outside. They need knowledge from outside the mind to create illusions inside it. Maybe. I'm probably wrong but this is my current hypothesis. That would also explain why she needed to ask him about his dreams. And now I wonder if he's thinking the same thing and planning to test it by saying something false, especially considering how the way he's acting makes it seem like he plans to accept the illusion

The screen just got way darker for some reason. Is that a sign of his hatred growing again? Is this the show signaling that the pre-emptive megamind ripoffs can't read his mind? Am I reading into this too much?

Why didn't the doors twinkle? What the fuck!?

okay at least they twinkled this time. It was a bit quiet though

what does he mean they're keeping them from seeing the hole in the window? The window is fucking invisible, they don't need an illusion to hide a hole

I can't believe they turned off the twinkle again.

[0w0tsuki]

Fucking losin it, pretty sure the spock glock person blocked me because I reblogged one of your reblogs arguing with him, and that fact that is fucking wild to me. Like I didn't even say anything. Sorry that you have to deal with losers like him who refuse to listen to the valid points you have to say and dig their heels harder into transmisogyny. You are right, and as a TME, I am so glad that you talk about transmisogyny so that I can learn about the way I may perpetuate transmisogyny.

Typical transandro baby who lies about Unity behavior. "Blocking anyone who so much as agrees with this dissenting take" is something I remember the Transandrophobia-Archive blog doing back when it cropped up.

Honestly I don't mind like my computer is down so I can't use TF2 to cope rn. A lot of this is just distracting myself from chronic throat conditions that have restricted my breathing and made me feel like I'm constantly choking for over a year. Like this personal blog not an educational one. I haven't actually read theory outside of snippets. Which is why whenever I engage in discourse I primarily focus on behavior.

I will keep hammering this home but I'll keep saying it. "If their behavior is awful. Their opinion isn't worth seriously engaging". Like I could have tried to ask what EXACTLY he meant by "Small inter-identity discourse" or "fighting to see whose oppression is the most sympathetic". I could have given him that good faith he felt so entitled to.

But him framing anyone who disagrees with him as overly online losers, happily adopting fascist language to call us a bunch of feral cats, and cheekily misgendering trans woman while explicitly lampshading it, I could tell this boy was going to act like an entitled little shitheel who thinks he should be allowed to say whatever heinous things he wants but everyone around should be gracious with infinite patience for him. So I didn't approach him in good faith I went in knowing full well he was doing to double down on his shitty behavior And what do you know in his first response he called me an over emotional tranny while trying to act like I was proving his point. Now he's completely deleted the post trying to completely remove himself from it by trying to say "someone started discourse on my OBVIOUSLY no discourse post and EVERYBODY ELSE is being so mean TO EACH OTHER" completely trying to remove his involvement as he scrapes evidence under the rug. Also him mentioning he's "never touching those tags again" oh so traumatized he is by my aggressive trannying. Good riddance I hope he stays in whatever little fandom hole he crawled out of.

Like I think when engaging these entitled children I think we should stop giving them benefits of the doubt and "debate" in a way that gives them ground to spew a bunch of vaguely leftist pseudo-terminology to make shit like "I think women should just shut up and take it" sound progressive. We should start treating these birthday boys like the bullies they are.

But honestly I'm not an expert my main strengths are being able to recognize patterns of behavior and being able to remember discourse from 3 months ago.