#The way we got there was one fucking slowburn and the reveal of their hearts was a bit mid ngl

[pizzahutchan124]

Today marks a momentous occasion

Now we have

Demon Yuri

And

Demon Yaoi

[wambsgansshoelaces]

Turmoil; Chapter 1

Roman Roy x fem!Reader -read the rest here!

Prompt: slowburn romantic drama, arranged marriage plot line

a/n: thank you to anon for requesting! if you requested this fic, please tell me so I can tag you! I apologize if this reads as unrealistic or too dramatic- but please let me know your thoughts!

Word Count: 2.358k

Nothing. You’d turned yourself into something from nothing.

You’d ended up in New York on your own, running from your past, vying for a fresh start. With a degree from Harvard law in your pocket and an unsatiated hunger for success, it only took one case to change your fortune.

Your boss had pawned the case off on you because it seemed impossible. A man charged for real property fraud, and heaps of evidence to prove it. You initially thought you’d pawn the case off to some other schmuck, until you’d been given an anonymous tip and found a discrepancy in a bit of evidence that unraveled the opposition’s entire case.

It was a massive win- not just for you, but for your entire firm -and it came with a massive raise.

A few years later, you’d amassed an egregious amount of money in total and even more respect from those around you, so you quit and founded your own firm. You’re thankful for everything you have. You stay humble, you’re likable, and you make sure everyone in your employment is as well. It keeps you afloat- New York loves you, but more importantly, they trust you.

It earns you millions.

You’re happy with the life you lead. You frequent charity events, donating whenever you can, staying kind. You know what kindness can feel like during a period of misery. You remember what relief felt like when extended a hand, so you extend yours whenever you can.

You help the people around you. You’re kind to everyone, conduct yourself with grace, and are aware of yourself and those around you.

Maybe that’s why Logan Roy chose you.

He’d written to you a week ago, inviting you to dinner to discuss business prospects. You assume he’s gotten himself into a legal pickle involving some of his questionable activity which some regard as criminal.

When you enter the restaurant, one of his men spawn at your side and lead you into the dimly lit back where nobody is sitting. Your heels click on the marble, your gait not wavering.

“Mr. Roy,” you say when you see him. He gets up, albeit very slowly, and shakes your hand.

“Y/L/N in the flesh.” He sits back down and gestures to the seat across from him. You oblige. “You’ve made quite the name for yourself.”

“I do my best.”

He beckons over a passing waiter. “Get her whatever she wants. Put it on my tab.”

You quietly order a small appetizer and watch him watch you.

“Well, Mr. Roy, I hate beating around the bush. Why am I here?”

“The first case you worked on. Do you remember that man’s name? The one you proved innocent?”

“Connor Frost. I don’t forget. Never showed his face once.”

“About him. For witness protection and press reasons, we were allowed to alter his name in the official papers. We also got away with him never being there.”

Your heart misses a beat.

“Connor Roy was on trial for real property fraud, and you proved him innocent,” he continues. You school your face into neutrality. You get a sick feeling in your stomach that won’t stop growing and gnawing at you. It threatens to eat you inside out. “I hate to burst your bubble, but he was guilty. Fucking stupid, it was.”

You blink. “I don’t mean any disrespect, but-”

Logan’s eyes never leave yours. “But nothing. The deed you found in Connor’s name? Forged. And the people who forged it were paid more than enough to never think of speaking about it in court. You couldn’t have known it was fake, so you took it to trial and won. I practically bankrolled that raise of yours.” You can feel yourself begin to itch. “Initially, there was never any need to tell you. If I had things my way, I’d have let you live your life doing whatever the fuck you wanted. But my son had other plans.” As if he didn’t just reveal that your first case was a joke, he offers you some wine. You quickly decline. You feel like you’re going to puke all over him.

“Kendall. You know Kendall.” His voice drips with venom. “Would’ve given everything to him, but he obviously has different ideas for the company. I can’t let him take it now. He’ll fuck up everything I’ve worked for and put into place at Waystar. And I’m not giving the company to the idiot who accidentally committed fraud to the point of felony, or the one who’s running around the world with her dumb fucking political bullshit. That leaves me with one son. So the company has to go to him.”

Logan tops off his glass of wine. “But, by God’s grace, this leftover son is the fucking stupidest of them all.”

You have no idea how this has anything to do with you.

“Let me be clear, Miss Y/L/N. I respect you. You’re a fantastic attorney. I’d have you on retainer- I will, once my current contract with that Frederica jackass runs out. But you must forgive me for all of this. I have to do what needs to be done.”

He inhales, then sighs. “For you to take control without me losing public face, I want you and my son to come to an agreement in a partnership.”

You have to give him the dumbest fucking look for him to respond with, “Marry him. I need you to marry him.”

“I’m sorry?” You can barely keep your composure. You think you’re dreaming, or someone spiked your water, or you’re dead, or anything but this.

“I can’t have him in control. I can pretend like he is, sure, but I need someone with a brain at the helm.”

“I… my degree is in criminal law. I have no idea how the corporate, let alone financial world runs.” It’s all you can think of to say.

He waves you off. “You’ll learn.”

You don’t know what to say. You probably look like a fish, mouth hung open as you gape at him. “Surely someone else is better suited to this than me. I won’t. I can’t.”

“This is why I had to apologize,” he mutters. “Do as I say, and our secret is kept. Walk away, the tabloids will learn of a little lady who buried and forged evidence to win her first court case.”

“You can’t be serious. I thought it was real!”

“The public doesn’t know that. Regardless, I’ve done worse. I’ve ruined stronger, more powerful people with much less.”

You press your lips into a thin line. “I suppose you’ve left me with no choice,” you grit out.

Logan smiles and claps his hands together. “Welcome to the family.” Your appetizer finally comes and is set in front of you. You don’t feel that hungry anymore. “What are you waiting for? Eat!”

He takes a bit of calamari from you. “I think it goes without saying,” he says, “that if you say anything about this conversation we’ve had, you’ll end up prosecuted and in jail for fraud.”

☾𖤓

You feel like you could punch a hole into the wall. You can’t believe it. It’s pure dumb fucking luck that you got caught in this.

Logan Roy didn’t choose you for your legal prowess, or any of your skill or ability like you’d stupidly believed. He chose you because he has control over you, and he knows it.

A few days pass, and you begrudgingly drag yourself out of your rotting place in bed. Cursing yourself the entire time, you change into something nice. Logan told you he was throwing a party in your name, to introduce you to the family- and the inner circle, you knew.

If anything, you think to yourself, you look fucking good.

You’re not prepared for the onslaught of paparazzi that bombards you the moment you step out of the house.

That bastard must’ve told the press about your engagement.

There’s nothing you can do but get into the black sedan waiting for you at the bottom of your driveway. You’re probably going to have to move, now.

You sit in the backseat, simmering the entire drive. You have to prepare yourself for the hell that’ll be stiff arming paparazzi to get to the party.

When you pull up, you take a deep breath, and step out the car. The man sitting in the passenger seat got out before you and walks out in front of you, another flanking you as you push through the chaos.

The flashes are almost blinding, but you keep your eyes open. Every picture taken tonight is going to be circulated tenfold by not even tomorrow morning. You hope you have resting bitch face in all of them.

Your miniature guard manages to get you inside with no issues. You’re late on purpose, and it seems like the room goes quiet when you enter.

The crowd stares back at you as you survey them. As much as your rage is telling you to make a scene, you won’t. Time and place, you tell yourself.

Immediately, you can tell Connor recognizes you. He tries to avoid your gaze, but your rage bubbles up and out of you. “Mind if I steal him for chat?” you ask the girl standing with him, voice painfully faux-sweet. You feel like you’re on Love Island, in some sick, twisted way.

The girl gives Connor an awkward pat on the arm before leaving him be. You can feel peoples’ eyes burning into the back of your head.

“You told me,” you begin, voice dangerously low, “that you didn’t do it.”

He looks everywhere but at you. “I was just doing what I had to.”

“Was fucking me over what you had to do? Because I feel like that’s all you did,” you hiss.

“Do you really think someone like me is going to ever go to jail?” Connor scoffs. “It could damage my reputation.”

“It could damage my reputation,” you mock. “Are you fucking stupid? Fucking God.”

You turn to leave, but immediately pivot back. “You’re a Roy. You would’ve been bailed out immediately. You wouldn’t have even gone to jail for an hour.”

You’re fuming. You’re barely holding it together.

Then, you catch the eyes of a man not that much taller than you, dressed in all crisp black. He’s handsome, you think, a light stubble dotting his jaw and soft eyes that wrinkle gently when he smiles.

He excuses himself from the conversation he’s having to come to you and Connor.

“Connor. You’ve met my lovely bride-to-be?”

You’re back to fuming, any thoughts of his beauty gone.

He sticks his hand out to you. “Roman Roy. Nice to meet you, I’m your fiancé.” His voice is painfully bitter.

“You think I want this any more than you do?” you ask under your breath, your handshake way too firm. His grip on your hand is equally as tight.

Connor snorts. “At least act like you like each other.”

“You’re the reason any of this happened. Keep yourself out of it,” you snap.

Roman sighs and turns away from Connor. “Can we go for a walk? We should probably have a word.” To your dismay, you agree.

As soon as you’re out of the main atrium and by yourselves in a grand hallway, you speak freely. “Listen, this is nothing personal,” you begin, “but I’m looking for a way out of this.”

Roman looks over at you as you walk, both of you going at a snail’s pace. “I don’t stink, do I?” He sticks his hands in his pockets. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry this happened to you. I know he’s blackmailing you.”

You sigh. “I should’ve known something was wrong with the case when I never saw my fucking client in person.”

“Well, I want this over as quickly as you do. My father doesn’t want me anywhere near the company, and I’d like to change that.” You both stop walking to face each other. Maybe you two can be friends, despite everything.

“Let me make something clear, though.” Roman takes a step towards you, leaning forward to whisper in your ear. “I’m only in this for me. Not you.”

Whatever positive thoughts you’d had were chased away. You spend the rest of the night fuming under your skin, lying through your teeth, and standing by yourself in the corner.

Siobhan Roy is the first to approach you.

“I admire you, you know.”

“Your father said that too, and look where I am now.”

She presses a flute of champagne into your hand. “I’m not my father.” You share a tense look. “Listen. I think we can do something good together,” she says lowly. “You want to disentangle yourself from this situation, and I want my father out of the picture when it comes to Waystar. Some of my clients have used your firm during political scandal. They all came away unscathed… I have full trust in your ability.”

“What do you want from me?”

“When the time comes,” Siobhan says, “I want you to help take my father to court. And put him down under. So to speak,” she adds. “And I’ll help make sure that if my father ever says anything about you, nobody believes it.”

After Siobhan, it’s Kendall.

“Shiv talked to you.” He’s worse at keeping conversation than she is. “I would also be involved in this. I’d take my dad’s place as CEO, Roman becomes COO.”

“I take him to court, I’m told.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you do, and you win,” he says carefully. “And then you get so much money you can run away to some foreign country and forget any of this happened.”

You regard him carefully. “How can I trust you? Or Siobhan? Or anyone in this fucking place?”

Kendall pauses, and takes a moment to think. “You can’t,” is all he says before leaving you standing on your own once again.

Finally, Roman makes his way back to you. You bristle as you watch him approach. “I know you don’t really like me right now, but I want to go home and I can’t leave without you on my arm. So, shall we?”

You roll your eyes, but take his elbow anyway.

[iu-xo]

"Like we've always hated each other"

Tantrum.

intro part 1 part 2 part 3

It took much less time than expected! I hope it's enjoyable to read, god this is so slowburn, so they still hate each other! But... do they really?

The sun... the sun that comes through the window... the fucking sun.

The most recent being to move into the hotel after its restoration, he was fighting a battle to the death with nothing more and nothing less than the sheets of his bed, nothing new for the king to say the least, In his mind it was the eighth time he told himself he would get up, And this was the real thing, he thought for the eighth time...

When he heard a door suddenly open, and even though he loved his daughter with all his heart, he couldn't wish for anything other than that she would leave him for another hour to rot for a little longer in his nest of depression and procrastination, Which didn't happen that way.

-DAD! I'm sorry to bother you... I know you were still sleeping and stuff! despite being past noon.. But your help would reeeeaaaally help me a lot rigth now!

Even though his body betrayed him and made him want to sink and become one with the mattress, knowing that his daughter needed something from him gave him enough motivation to sit up in bed.

-Whatever you need honey..

His voice was still hoarse and sleepy, revealing his little to none desire to exist at that moment, but surely when he did something he would feel better... he hoped.

The princess gave a happy squeal to take out some notebook pages with lists and colorful crayon drawings, and grabbed one in particular which she put on her father's nightstand while she put the rest away with some clumsiness.

-Today I have an activity planned but I mixed up my schedules with next week's, so I have nothing to start with!

The blonde looked very worried about this problem she had, and Lucifer thought that maybe she would ask him for things to buy and he could just magically appear them, piece of cake.

-So while I fix this I wanted you to put these flyers in the businesses that already gave me permission!

Wait. What?

the angel really thought He could get away with doing this quickly with a little magic trick, but he really had no way of appearing flyers in specific places which he had no idea where they were..

-erm.. Dear.. Can't we just put them in... I don't know... everywhere?

-Nop! Because today's topic is... consent!

She said while making a rainbow in the air with her hands , Therefore, the little angel had no choice but to personally walk through the disgusting streets of the pride ring... his ring. While he was hanging little pieces of paper on the windows of the shops of the ungrateful sinners that owned them. But... it was for Charlie... so how bad could it be, He stopped thinking about how bad it would be and instead saw Charlie's smile explaining how she wanted to deal with today's topic, he saw her eyes full of sparkle and got out of bed.

-Count on me char-char, I'll take care of it!

Charlie smiled from ear to ear and hugged him, leaning down, he had taken Lucifer a little by surprise but he gladly reciprocated

-Thank you.. means a lot.

They both felt a silence after that, it wasn't awkward, it was like they were telling each other without words that they were trying to heal something, And even if it couldn't happen overnight, they were trying, Charlie knew they would make it, Lucifer... he could only hope so.

But after that charlie decided to left the room to let her father get ready, she also had too many things to do, time was against her and she wasn't going to waste it.

-Well.. see ya!

She said goodbye with her hand, while her father did it in the same way, Once she was outside, the angel walked slowly to his closet, looking for something more casual, but ended up wearing his usual outfit but without his white jacket, he rolled up his sleeves and headed to the bathroom to fix his hair, he saw himself in the mirror for a moment, a wave of melancholy drowning him for a few moments, He saw himself worn out, tired.

He washed his face with cold water as an attempt to wash away the draining thoughts, it just... everything used to be so simple for him, at least sometimes... He left the bathroom and opened a window in his room, looking to breathe something other than his own self-loathing, A burst of sulfur aroma was what he found, he sighed, At this moment he missed the aroma of fruit and freshly wet grass... he may not be missing the regime of heaven but... that garden and it's smells sure were something else

He realized that he had gotten quite lost in thought, so he washed his face one last time Seeking to return to reality, and avoiding the hassle of seeing so many faces at the reception... he opened a golden portal under his feet that left him at the exit of the hotel, now he only had to...

walk.

Lovely.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

-WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

A demon twice his size was shouting at him in the middle of the street, the lamb-like demon had bruises he was bleeding and holding the demon's hand that grabbed him by the neck while lifting him off the floor, he didn't seem scared, in fact he didn't feel the slightest bit of fear despite the dangerous situation he found himself in, as if he believed that at any moment one of his exterminators would arrive and take him out of there, or simply as if it didn't enter his head that he wasn't untouchable.

-F-FUCK YOU.. YOU.. FUCKING PUSSY!

He tried to get free even with less oxygen than required, he increasingly gained strength to kick his attacker into the pit of his stomach, leaving him breathless momentarily and falling to the ground, he took a deep breath and before the opponent could notice Adam was half a block away, he may have been out of shape, but he managed to ran into an alley and lean against the wall, while he saw the idiot run past him.

-SHIT- FUCKING- DAMN IT!

He dropped to the floor sliding down the wall, wiped the blood from his nose, then saw the blood on his hand..

Red.

His blood was... Red. Did he feel.. anger? No.. sadness? Of course not.. he was not a pussy.. He felt... To hell with what he felt all this was bullshit and he shouldn't be going through this! He shouldn't be here! He Should not.. he shouldn't be here...he was the first man...God's most beautiful creation! Fuck..he couldn't be rotting in this shit hole together with all these pieces of shit! They all came from him. where is his respect..

Interrupting his internal monologue bar existential crisis, he heard footsteps and unconsciously clung to the wall with his new claws, since he had arrived he had already escaped from five guys who were looking to kick his ass, perhaps a sixth could be avoided.

Humming a catchy melody, a familiar face passed by looking for something, looked at a sheet of paper, then at the shops, Then he approached the window of the establishment and stuck a flyer on it, without realizing the stare he had on him, Although of course, many people had looked at him since he left the hotel, he had had to send a couple flying, so it wasn't something especially peculiar

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

of all the habitants of hell... IT SHOULD BE FUCKING LUCIFER THE FIRST FAMILIAR FACE HE SEES?! This day, this place and all of this it's nothing but a stupid damn joke!

What the fuck is he doing? Hanging ruffles? Last time he tried to sell him that he was such a big deal, what was he doing hanging fucking pamphlets in the disgusting streets full of shit?

The gaze that Lucifer felt on his shoulder felt heavier and heavier, when he looked out of the corner of his eye he noticed a sinner looking towards the flyer he puted on the glass, and an idea crossed his mind, what would be better than advertising the hotel? Well, make it work of course! He could do this, it was just... talking to a stranger! Perfect, and the bad thing was that... he had to talk to a stranger. come on morningstar! For your daughter's approval!

-Heey you.

They both remained in total silence, panic could be seen on Adam's face, had he recognized him? It seemed like no... everything pointed to no, but that didn't stop his brain from wanting to run away and leave him alone in that moment, Lucifer had an ackward face and it shows in the way his eye twitched that he regretted his decision ever since the words left his mouth, but there was no way to take it back now, meanwhile Adam considered the possibility of just running away.

-I see you... watching from there! You can... read it. You know.. it's a pamphlet. They are for... reading-

He could easily smash his hand against his face in an exaggerated way, but this wasn't the time for that, if he brought a guest to the hotel today Charlie would be so happy! he can do it, it was like selling, It's not that he knew how to sell things... but how hard could it be

Meanwhile Adam looked at him with a disappointed face, his communication skills were as deplorable as they had always been, but he glanced at the pamphlet, of course, their fifth class hotel.

-It has everything! You should tell every person you see in hell about it.

Adam's disgusted face spoke for him, while Lucifer sighed, obviously it wouldn't be that easy to bring someone to the hotel in one day, but for Adam everything was going wonderfully since at least he didn't know it was him.

The feeling did not last too long, as he felt a figure forming behind him, heat emanating from near his back, the lamb-like demon feared the worst, and unfortunately he was right.

-To claim to be the first dick you are quite the pussy.

Said a demon behind him, twice his size, Shark-like, It was the guy from before for sure, shit-

-wait. what was that first thing you said?

before the words had a chance to come out of the angel's mouth in their entirety, He felt a gust of wind pass by him but as far as he was concerned, the wind doesn't scream.

As he turned around at the speed of the wind itself, he could briefly see his future guest crashing into the brick wall at the hands of the stupid demon who had interrupted his negotiation attempt, in a moment six wings came out angelically from the sovereign's back to place himself just in time between the two demons with a flutter of his wings, whit one hand he stoped the inevitable punch destined to hit Adam's face.

-Nobody taught you not get into the grown up's conversations... right?

He said this while a grin formed in his face, showing sharp teeth which this guy would remember all his life, Lucifer released the guy's fist to hold his wrist and with a twist of his hip he easily sent him to the other side of the pentagram.

-now. where did you get that phrase from?

When the angel looked behind him he could see nothing more and nothing less than two hooves walking away two meters away

-Shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!

Although Adam's intention was to lose sight of the small man following him, when he looked back all he could see was his imminent arrival to the ground, receiving a tackle from Lucifer, they both fell rolling around as if they were two little children fighting in the school garden

-SPEAK FILTHY CREATURE

He demanded, standing on top of the lamb, despite it being half his size and looking humorous, the truth is that Adam couldn't get out of his grip no matter how hard he tried.

-STOP BEING SO DAMN DENSE BITCH!

Oh God. He recognized that voice, he recognized that stupid self-nickname, and worst of all, he recognized that stupid tantrum.

-how the hell. are you here rigth now.

-Why should I say that to you, huh?!

-maybe because YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER OPTION?! MAYBE??

Both continued to struggle with each other, one to escape and one to have answers. Lucifer was afraid of letting him escape and that he could cause some trouble, although thinking about it carefully... he looked at his lamb's ears, his hooves, his eyes and his teeth... now he was a simple sinner, There wasn't much he could accomplish even if he tried, he'd probably be screwed, he may already had taked a few beatings even.

-Well, I have no idea! I hope that helps sucker!

He said and spit in his face, something he didn't thought about properly, or didn't thought about at all, The ruler's face was irritated, as if he were putting up with a spoiled child, well... that's practically what he's doing.

-That's all, Let's go.

He cleaned his face whit his sleve and grabbed him by the collar of his clothes and began to drag him along the sidewalk, he had an exhausted expression as if he didn't have what it took to face this situation today, although he probably wouldn't any day.

-the FUCK. ARE YOU DOING?!

He said, fluttering his black wings everywhere, managing to irritate Lucifer by obstructing his vision, forcing him to stop, to which he grunted in annoyance.

-Well. taking care of you! What else am I supposed to do! It's what I should always do! because it seems like your entire existence is made to cause me problems!

Adam's gaze could be nothing but anger, he struggled away from Lucifer's grasp, which was curious to see due to the difference in sizes, once free he turned around to look at him from the front

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, I WAS MADE TO BE FUCKING PERFECT! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

-If you were as perfect as you say, how do you explain this eh! How do you think this happened?! You are not in this putrid pit for being the dick of the dicks PAL!

The lamb growled in exasperation as he stamped on the ground with his right hoof, after pulling his hair looking to escape from his angryness he lookef at the little one in the eye.

- IF I DON'T CARE, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU CARE, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!

He felt a lump in his throat, but not as painful as the lump in the throat of the king of hell himself, Why should he care? Why the fuck should he care??

-Oh then i saw You die a fucking WEEK AGO. and You expect me to see that You are alive and let you wander through hell knowing that any demon is out there KICKING YOUR FUCKING ASS?! A THANK YOU WAS ENOUGH!

Lucifer screamed as his eyes turned from yellow to red from how infuriating he found having to argue with this idiot, he was never particularly reasonable but right now he was more irritable than normal and had no idea why

- THANK YOU?! OH SURE THEN YOU THINK YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE A CHARITY CASE FOR YOUR BRAT'S SHITTY HOTEL HUH!? Well I have news for you DUDE!

Adam He kicked dirt from the street, dirtying Lucifer's clothes, who coughed in response to the cloud of dust

-im not your fucking guinea pig.

He narrowed his gaze in disgust, looking down literally and metaphorically at his contrary.

-Are you allergic to kindness? or why is it that you can't accept a fucking favor!?

Adam's Contemptuous face became one of intense anger and he took a step forward and brought his face closer to the angel's.

-from YOU? Of course. Good joke.

Lucifer had enough, he wouldn't wait to know where this reunion could go, It's not even worth wasting his breath on... Adam. Or at least that's what he thought.

-you know what? It's fine with me. It's not like you're not used to everyone leaving you, stay like that, as always, stay alone.

The king shook his clothes to remove the dirt, with one hand he snapped his fingers and as he arrived he left, Adam was left with an unreadable expression, he didn't move from there, he just stood there.

still and quiet.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The golden portal opened above the hotel's front door, since he had avoided greeting people in the morning he assumed he could say hello in the aftern.. nigth, it was nigth.

Well, anyways, he would greet them at night then.

Opening the door abruptly without worrying about whether it was timely or not, he stepped into the hall.

-HEELLOOO everyone! How does the night treat you all?

From there you could easily see the bartender behind the bar along with the little maid sitting at the bar playing with some dead bug, on the sofa lay their most exotic guest and a certain deer showed no signs of being close, much to the king's liking.

-we have been better short king, But nothing that a drink can't fix, rigth wiskers?

The feline rolled his eyes but smiled at the end, and began to mix different liquids, When he looked in the direction the king was his eyes widened in surprise

- wow. It looks like you were hited by a truck.

Angel Dust looked in the same direction realizing what the bartender was referring to, It really looked like they had made him crawl on the floor, well, in fact something like that happened-

- someone played too rough whit ya~?

Husk put his palm to his face as Nifty leaned over the bar counter

- I like rough.

She said, sketching a sinister smile, to which Lucifer reacted with a certain degree of displeasure, and Husk put a donut from the bar counter in her mouth to make her shut up for a little bit

- umh.. rigth. Well no, I wasn't hit by a truck, and no! Neither, the other thing. I just ran into a few issues. Nothing to worry about.

While this small exchange of words was going on, footsteps could be heard in the distance approaching faster and faster, ending with a hug from behind to Lucifer's surprise.

-DAD! What happened? It took you hours to come back!

-Oh come on, come on... it's nothing at all! A few small issues, a few hours! But everything is fine now.

While the angel convinced Charlie that it was nothing, sounds of static reached everyone's ears, covering them in the act, everyone anticipated the arrival of you-know-who, it was nothing new for him to arrive in such a dramatic way, especially if the king was there prior to his arrival

-How interesting... I would swear it would take more than a few small matters to delay the big boss.. a couple hours.

The one who had just arrived in the room exclaimed very arrogantly, with a smile from ear to ear per usual , Charlie watched him appear on the spot and waved happily, only to receive a greeting from the deer-like demon in return.

-oh oh oh If you only knew You little shit.

Lucifer smiled evilly knowing that if Alastor ran into Adam again the last thing he would do would be act with that arrogance so characteristic of his

-Honey there is someone at the door.

Vaggie entered the room and to the conversation to warn her girlfriend about the presence of someone outside, so charlie left the two old men arguing to answer the door

-Oh but tell us your highness, what were these "issues" then.

-Nothing that your walnut-sized brain can understand piece of-

Two brown hooves entered, stepping on the red carpet that covered the hotel's entrance hall, to which Charlie said very excitedly and taking small jumps until they reached the area where everyone was, her girl on one side of the stranger and her on the remaining side.

Lucifer's sight changed from being fixed on Alastor to seeing the newcomer and although the king was already prepared to smile at the person to receive them, when he looked at him carefully, the only thing that came out of his mouth was..

-FU- ADAM?! THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE.

When everyone heard who he was talking about, they stayed cold and glued to the floor. With his new demonic form, no one would have guessed that it was the leader of the exorcists in person, or rather... in demon.

-ADAM?!

-adam??

-THAT ADAM?!

-OH OH estás muerto CABRON!

-Mhhh..

After the domino reaction Adam with lowered ears tried to talk keeping his dignity and pride, not very successfully, with a stupid smile on his face he speak

-heey bitchees.. so.. what's for dinner?

You could swear there was the sound of a cane breaking in the background followed by a static sound.

[shinakazami1]

• previous ask anon here! I saw the positive response on my last ask so might as well say some more (imagine getting happy from being praised on your own praise, can't be me/j)

• you may feel like Dear Stanley doesn't get many reads but I assure you, if the fic was a youtube video I would put it on loop (they are so silly and the metaphors and the way he cared so much about those little details?? same fr)

• Tomato getting more content. oh no. my heart. you better prepare to pay for the damages that will be inflicted on my soul.

• I decided to tour your ao3 works and read Bad Luck! …I checked all the tags, no worries. (Love, Falling and All Things did came up first but it's in a series so I put it for later)

• 27k. That one hour of reading was quite something. It's so wrong but it's so good?? keyboard smashes I won't dive into details here, but the words hold so much feelings. They are so,,,a (Fanfic writers my beloved good job you two) Question: how are their lives after that. are they happy like really truly happy. it's an au but i need to know if my blorbos are ok.

• I'm probably going to read the soulmate bodyswap series next, and I'm really excited since 1. omg tooth-rotting fluffy gay men, I need this and 2. planetariums, aquariums and animal facts are my absolute favourites stop hitting my soft spots (once again thank goodness for fanfic writers amen)

• sorry if this is too long and possibly confusing! I'm not the best at writing anything out...maybe retreating to ao3 comment sections now that I know anonymous/no account commenting exists (because of you, I finally found out about it after all these years, thanks). Have a nice 365 days!

Anon please my gosh I just opened tumblr and I saw I had a message and just to hear my reaction for your comment meant a lot means a lot to me ofahioasi we are rn in a very silly loop and just please know I told my close buds about you writing these asks and just it means so much to me, and to see you wrote such a long comment (I checked, wow, 307 words, dude I appreciate you sm if you would ever want to reveal yourself be my guest IOHFSOIFSAO I just, I truly appreciate you)

Now lemme just respond to each point under the cut but PLEASE THIS IS NOT CONFUSING NOR TOO LONG THIS IS JUST SO PRECIOUS

Dude I am so glad you liked the metaphors!! I really wanted to make him project onto different things and just, Narrator feels like a man who would care so much about details that others wouldn't

If I ever get back to writing haha, but the prequel is gonna be a cute slowburn of how they got together (no angst tho haha noooo sir don't look how I mostly write angst hahahaah h a ) ; while sequel is their trip to the mountains which would have similar tone to the original!! But gosh thank you you really make me want to write it hehe

Bad Luck is one of my collabs with a user who left TSP community so now I am left as the only creator listen but they were the ones who came up with the idea for that and Good Luck Charm, which is the fic this one kinda comes from !! We were a bit scared if people would think we agree with Stanley's actions (esp since I was the one who wrote them fihfsoiafsih) but I am glad you like it! And well - we actually discussed it and haha no they are not good they are far from good in that au, what we intended to do was (SPOILER: DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF I EVER WRITE IT) that Stanley would confess to Narrator that he drugged him and Narrator would be very mad but since he got bitten and it was found out that he was omega, he would lose his job since the world is omegaphobic and Stanley would only later learn just of how much he fucked up. But since the damage is done and Leo would not want him to have easy way out, they kinda stay together and Stanley develops and anxiety disorder. They kinda make it all work and let themselves explore the feelings but Leo never forgives and good for him, good for that man

Gosh to hear you want to keep on reading my work???? That just means so much to me??? I wrote this one with Surf and the amount of silliness that series has just still makes me giddy with how I pulled some of my fav moments in my TSP fanfics so I hope you will not only have a nice read but if you do write, you will share your opinion if you will want to!!

You reminded me I have to check ao3 iohfashiosafois I haven't really been logging in so I prob been slacking off with responses but please, wherever you choose to write, it will always mean so much to me. You already spending time writing the first thing meant for me a ton, esp since this semester has been hard and I've been in art block overall but please anon, know that your words truly make me feel not only good but just grateful to you. Know that your words mean more than you can imagine and they can affect people in a good way. Thank you <3 Have lovely 365 days! (or 365/2 days, if you are a Kingdom Hearts fan)

[dinner-djarin]

dar'manda (Mando x f!reader insert)

Prologue

(Inspired by this scene)

Summary: You've been working as a merchant on Nevarro for years now, only out of necessity. Life really wasn't going your way. At least until the Mandalorian came by your booth. Now he's all you think about, and soon he'll be even more.

Warnings: Probably some swearing (real and in universe), violence (eventually), smut (eventually), No use of Y/N, slowburn/fluff (for the first little while)

Notes: Takes place at the end of season 1, and will mostly take place between season one and two. I have been sitting on this for a while due to some fear about reception by the fandom, but honestly I just need to stop thinking about it so here we go. She's going out into the world, and I hope you enjoy. (Also I wrote this prologue like 2 months ago so it isn't quite where I'd like it to be but if you read this please just stick with me, I swear my writing gets better lol)

You don’t know how long it’s been since you last saw him. Weeks? Months? But you can’t get that damn tin can out of your head.

You really have no reason to be this hung up on him. He’s barely spoken to you, you’ve never even seen his face, so it should be easy enough to move on from whatever childish infatuation you have over him. Right? Maker, what kind of person crushes on a mask and a suit of armour?

But there’s something about him, something that keeps him planted in your subconscious. You’ve tried to find the words to explain it, but nothing ever comes close. You can't even begin to understand how this man has completely overtaken your every waking thought.

He used to come by every couple of weeks, and you’d savour every delectable minute of the interaction, but that was all before shit hit the fan of course. You weren't there to see it but when you came back to work the next day it was all anyone could talk about.

“Apparently the metal man broke some Guild rule, and practically all of the other bounty hunters tried to kill him for it.” You heard over your shoulder. As much as you liked to keep to yourself, you couldn’t help form eavesdropping on a conversation between merchants. You did have a guilty pleasure for drama, probably to fill the uneventful void that your mundane life had now become.

“The Mandalorian? He broke their code then!” one exclaimed.

“I heard he went back for a bounty,” someone else whispered.

“What could make someone do something so stupid?” questioned a merchant lady you already didn’t particularly like.

“He doesn’t strike me as stupid,” you interrupt, trying to stick up for the man you were currently enamoured with. “If he did it, there must be a valid reason.”

“If he did it?” She sneered. “Do you not see the damage he left behind? People will be out of business for sure. It’ll take weeks to clean up the mess he made.”

“Then I guess I hope it was worth it. That it wasn't in vain.” You state, putting an end to the conversation. You hoped the man – that you already liked against your better judgement – wouldn’t cause so much harm without some justification.

In the wake of his rebellion, a covert of other masked hunters revealed themselves, shot up the town, and then vanished without a word. And so did your Mandalorian.

Woah hold on. Not yours. Just one random Mandalorian that you’ve said a handful of words to and have harboured a secret crush over.

From the second you saw him you pretty much knew you were screwed. Between the husky modulated voice, and the broad as hell shoulders, there was pretty much no way to quell the instant attraction that rose up in you. His presence alone was suffocating. Nothing could stop the way your vocal cords tightened to the point of forcing out a soft squeal at his sight. The whole time he talked to you, you could feel his visor latch onto your body – pinning you to the spot.

You thought you might find some relief when he left. Quite the opposite. You couldn't help but gawk at the way his body moved, like he knew he was hot shit. He took your damn breath away. And you were glad to know that he couldn't see your lips part to let out a soft moan, or the way they pursed back together as you unconsciously swallowed the suddenly copious amount of saliva pooling in your mouth. Fucking delicious, you thought, shamelessly.

Maybe it was the fact that you knew he could take anyone down in milliseconds. He was untouchable, and this latest defiance proved that. No one crossed the Guild. Well, no one crossed the Guild and got away with it. But if anyone could, it would be Mando.

And there’s another thing. You don’t even know his name. Which means that you’re forced to call him the colloquial slang that is commonly used by outsiders of the Mandalorian culture. “Mando”. You couldn’t help but think about how it almost sounded like an insult, especially when slurred from the mouth of other criminals. You hated the way people spat the word out at him, obviously trying to get him worked up; to see what he was made of. It made you desperately wish that you had a better name to call him, his real name. An intimate piece of knowledge that you could hold on to, something of him that no one else had.

Maybe that made you selfish. Even so, there was so much you wished you knew about him. He was a complete mystery.

To be fair, he probably didn’t even know your own name. You can't recall him asking for it, or if you ever introduced yourself. You were pretty much a bumbling mess the first time you met him. To the point where even if you had tried to say your name it probably would have sounded like you were speaking Huttese. Although, who could blame you. It wasn’t very conventional to introduce yourself to every customer. The people on Nevarro usually kept to themselves, especially the bounty hunters. There wasn’t much room for ‘customer service’. But damn you wish you had tried to make some sort of introduction. Even if it had come out as incoherent nonsense, you think it may have made talking to him later a bit easier.

However, none of that matters if he never comes back, and you bet he won’t. He’s smarter than that. To pull what he did, he’s probably on the other side of the galaxy right now.

Even so, you’ll miss the shared awkward silences and stolen glances that came with each of his visits. Whenever he’d come into the shop, he’d list off what he needed to stock up on, using the most deep and captivating voice you think you’d ever heard. If he hadn’t had that helmet covering his face, you’d swear he stared right into your soul as he did so. It almost made you weak in the knees every damn time. You’d then rummage through each supply crate and gather the best quality of every item, and finally – just to bring your humiliation to an all-time high – you’d give him a discount for absolutely no discernible reason. He took notice of the reduced price the first time and thanked you, only for you to be berated by your boss once he left. Eventually, to your dismay, the niceties came to a halt. Maybe he forgot what full price was, maybe he just couldn’t care less.

Either way, it looks like you’d risked your job for the last time. It’s a shame. For a planet full of bounty hunters and hardened criminals, there’s actually not a lot to entertain you. A shootout here, an escaped bounty there, but nothing that satisfied your desire for an exciting lifestyle.

The closest you got to that would be each time some wide-eyed, eager, wannabe-bounty-hunter strolled through town looking for a chance to weasel their way up the ladder of the Guild. They definitely thought they were more important than they actually were, and they always made a point of showing off for you. Not that you were anything special, just the closest thing with cleavage usually. They’d probably brag about their rank and their kill counts, things you could not care less about. A few of them actually had the balls to ask you out, but it usually only ended in a free meal or drink. To be fair though that was very intentional on your part. It was fun to play the part of a flirtatious girl from the market for a while, and almost exciting to think about how you were completely screwing over those assholes.

Over the time you’ve spent alone in the galaxy you learned exactly how to read those kinds of people. You knew just how far to go, just what to say or do until you got what you needed. As much as you weren’t a fan of physical affection, you often brushed your target's arm or thigh, played with their hair, or if the situation really demanded it – madeout with them behind the cantina. But you always made a point of stopping before things got too far. You may not be a complete saint, but you knew none of the scumbags you met were worth your time.

You wouldn’t have allowed things to go any further. Not with them. Going any further could only be a letdown, and you were fine to take those matters into your own hands…. literally. You may be a complete flirt, but only as a skill to survive in this grimy and dangerous galaxy. You learned early on that being young and female was a vulnerability. That was at least until you discovered how that vulnerability could be shaped into one of your most valuable strengths.

When you think about him though… well something about him made your entire badass facade disappear into thin air. You lost any cool you had the minute he walked past your vendor. Not to mention that there was something else about him that told you he’d see right through it anyway. Maybe it was the visor. Some special setting to read the level of bullshit.

As far as you’ve seen, he doesn’t take anyone’s shit. He definitely isn’t the type to make others feel comfortable in a conversation. He says precisely what he needs to get his point across, nothing more. Never once had you heard him use more than 10 words at a time.

On a few occasions you were lucky enough to end up in the cantina at the same time as him. Whether you were on a break or entertaining some dead-beat for free lunch, you remember how fast your heart would beat when the glint of his helmet met your vision. You wondered if he noticed your presence, or if he even recognized you away from your vendor at the market.

One time you were in the next booth over. Your spine straightened, and your whole body shivered when he slid into his seat and placed himself directly behind you. The proximity was electrifying. It made every neuron in your body fire rapidly and your blood vessels pump impossibly fast. You were probably supposed to be listening to the slimeball buying your drinks drone on about how impressive his last capture was, but the baritone emanating from behind ensnared every ounce of focus you had.

“I’ll take the highest pay” he muttered through the modulator.

“I do have other hunters, Mando. I can’t always guarantee you get the best of the lot.” replied his employer. A smile maintained on his face even when confronting an unforgiving barricade.

“I’m sure you do. But high price means high risk.” Mando responded. His employer’s confused silence forced him to continue. “Those skilled enough to take on the bounties know better than to do so.”

The Guild leaders' laughter bounced off the walls making many patrons turned their heads, while others continued their business, obviously being used to this behaviour.

You were left puzzled in that moment, completely baffled by this interaction. It wasn't until much later that night when it finally clicked. Although you didn’t know exactly how ranking in the Guild worked, you knew Mando was up there. He had the status to strike fear into almost every other bounty hunter he outranked. Mando had staked his claim long ago, and no one in the Guild was stupid enough to try and take a bounty from him. If he wanted something, he was going to get it.

You’d remember that interaction vividly. Not only because of how close you were to the Mandalorian as you overheard it, but also in service as a reminder to you, proving just how dominant he was in this world. He held power over every member of the Guild, including its leader, whether he wanted to admit it or not. You felt idiotic for not instantly understanding the control he wielded wherever he went. Sometimes it's a wonder how completely oblivious you could be.

Although you certainly were not oblivious to the drastic upgrade he got just before leaving. If you thought Mando was intimidating before, his new head to toe silver armour was sure to strike fear into any of his prey. You remember thinking you saw his reflection pass by earlier in the day, but he quickly dissolved into the shadows, as he often found a way of doing. However, later that night when you had just gotten off from work, he strolled back into the cantina for a new batch of bounties and all eyes were drawn to him. Most eyes were filled with jealousy since – as his employer made clear – he completed the job none of them could. They were probably even more enraged by the fact that he wore his reward back into the room, when most of them would have gladly taken that metal to the highest bidder and sold it for a hefty profit. However, you saw him differently than the rest. Your eyes were fixed on him in fear and in wonder. This metal man, already a force of nature, just became that much more impossible to defeat. As if anything could get to him before, it was clear now that no one could reach the Mandalorian.

But again – it doesn't matter. Not a single soul on Canto Bight would bet his shiny ass walks back into this sector. Not unless he has some kinda death wish…

Turns out he has some kinda death wish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1 is up now!

More notes: Hello there! I hope you enjoyed this lovely mess. I'm not the most proud of it, but I do want to continue this story (which I know we've all read 100 iterations of by now). Either way, I'm having fun writing it, so I might as well post it!

I'd love a like or comment if you'd be willing to share, I'm very new to writing so I'd enjoy any constructive criticism (especially on the first few parts, I know they need work, but at this point I just want to stop thinking about it and continue on with the story). Also this will be ongoing, so if you wanna keep reading feel free to drop your @ in my inbox or in the comments and I can tag you when I update!

So long for now my fellow helmet whores!

[bellamioneotp]

Bellamione Fic Master List

Making a list of Bellamione fics to guide the poor innocent souls into temptation organize stories based on AU type. 

DARK AU’s

Bellatrix isn’t a bright ball of sunshine, but rather than have a story where she becomes a better person, Hermione becomes like her, or even joins her side. This AU type isn’t limited to only that, but also to general dark themes in the story such as violence, war and ‘wtf this is so wrong but yet I can’t stop reading’. 

Reign Down Like wow. A whole world built around what if Voldemort survived and used Hermione in his evil schemes and had Bellatrix engaged to her. Very detailed and the author doesn’t hold back on aspects of the new world that can be somewhat unsettling. 25/10 this will leave you wondering just how sexy dark magic can truly feel. 

The Dark Corners of the Earth This one is dark in an entirely different sense. Bellatrix and Snape are pitted in an ancient war against one another and Hermione is caught in the middle. The romance moves a bit too fast paced for me but the lore and detail in this will have you really thinking this story over the next few days, trying to figure out just wtf is going on. 45/10 will have you hoping your nightlight can keep Cthulhu away. 

Haunted This story won’t leave you haunted, but it is pretty good even with it’s short chapters and all. It tells the story of Hermione sort of losing her marbles but I won’t get into too much detail. Just read it for yourself; it’s a quick easy read. 10/10 is poetic as fuck. 

I Dream of Sin Takes place in a sort of canon world in which Hermione is an American teen being bullied. You can imagine how well that goes for the bullies especially when she learns she has magic and is taught by Bellatrix herself on how to use it. It gets progressively darker each chapter. 16/10 don’t want to mess with magical nerds ever. 

For whom the Bell Tolls is an interesting look into how Hermione’s actually a death eater and Bellatrix is not. While Hermione is not bat shit insane, she is a murderer and Bellatrix is the sane one. Nice to see things switched up. This story is not necessarily as dark as the others but it gets brownie points for making the usually good Hermione evil right off the bat. 9/10 come to the dark side, we have cookies. 

Staring at Nothing is just...wow.  A very powerful one shot about Hermione’s descent into darkness as told by Harry’s perspective. 10/10 for who needs friends anyways, when you’ve got black leather. 

Visions of You in which Hermione is a depressed youth after the war and has to deal with hallucinations of Bellatrix. Hermione isn’t dark here so much as she is gray type, and the story has a permeating tinge of sadness to it, given the circumstances. 8/10 for maybe Bellatrix isn’t a hallucination? 

Deep Below what’s more awful than being accused of Harry’s death? Being falsely accused of it, and having to deal with trying to prove your innocent. This is a situation Hermione ends up in. But will she get out of it? 8/10 for this gets deep. 

How to Love Bellatrix captures Hermione and sort of indoctrinates her into the world of darkness. Hermione is mad at first, but then she realizes how sexy Bellatrix is and is like, ‘alright fam, sign me up’ and boom Bellamione. 8/10 you love this story but not it’s update schedule. 

TIME TRAVELER AU’s

Basically, what it says on the tin. Someway or another, Hermione goes back into time to stop Bellatrix from ever becoming evil. Drama and romance ensue. 

Future Shocks A good time turner fic with a more modern take on war. It’s pretty long and it is the slowburn of all slowburns. But it’s a very interesting story and the ending will have you definitely shook. 8/10 will shock you awake from that boring lecture you’re reading fanfic in. 

Time Heals all Wounds Hermione gets sent back in time to ‘redeem’ Bellatrix but not in the gift card way, more like saving the future type way. They end up, you guessed it, falling in love and changing the future somewhat. 6/10 is a young teen romance that will have you reliving your adventures as a young sapphic witch. 

Mirror, Mirror Not exactly a time turner fic, more like a parallel world, I suppose. Hard to explain but has good amounts of mystery and trying to understand what is happening. Focuses more on Bellatrix’s POV which is a nice change of pace. 8/10 will have you looking in the mirror and summoning Bellatrix like she was Bloody Mary. 

Let the Light Come and Take me A time turner fic that ends up with Bellatrix time traveling but to the future and the chaos her arrival there causes for those who are acquainted with her devious ways. Looks at the growth of our two ladies relationship into something more. 5/10 if it’s not slowburn romance is it really Bellamione?

The One Within the Other this story is about, you guessed it, time travel! Hermione goes back on purpose to stop Bellatrix from achieving her evil potential and in the process love blossoms. 7/10 for never enough time to read Bellamione in peace!

Caught in the Time series this is a series of three full length stories about Bellamione stuck in different times and universes. So much happens in them it’s kind of hard to summarize so the best thing to do is read them. 8, 8.5, 7/10 I’ll let you figure out which score goes for which series.

Just say When started off as a time turner story but then it ended up becoming something more of an espionage tale. It’s a good read and interesting to see how Bellatrix aims to save Hermione from a dementor’s kiss (spoilers!) in order to save their future together. A good mix of romance and action. 8/10 The name’s Black. Bellatrix, Black. 

The Broken Wand It all starts with a wand and then before you know it, boom, time travel happens. Featuring Loki and adventure all around, this fic has interesting plot points to keep you engaged despite the slower update times. 7/10, will break your wand too. 

Hourglass basically, a young Bellatrix is brought into the future and consequences abound from that mishap. The plot is a bit wonky and there are some logic mistakes, but if you can get over it, it’s a decent time travel story. 5/10 for it must be canon that Bellatrix has a lovely hourglass figure. 

Times they are a Changing where Bellatrix travels back in time to save her wife, Hermione. Nice to see a story where Hermione isn’t the one doing all the saving. Unfortunately there’s only six chapters to this story and it’s unlikely it’ll ever get finished but it’s a nice fresh concept. 6/10 for that’s how many chapters there are. 

Destined in this one, Hermione experiences some wonky times after the battle at the department of mysteries. Hermione has to find a way back home, but perhaps she might find love along the way? 10/10 for this is destined to be an interesting read. 

HEALER AU’s 

Let’s be real, Bellatrix has got a lot of problems and these authors try to solve them, with sex. And you know, medical help. But sex definitely helps a lot. 

Portrait of a Tragic Woman Not a typical healer type au, because Hermione is a therapist whose helping Bellatrix with her mental disorders. Focuses a lot on the relationship between the two and really makes you try to figure out what exactly is up with Bellatrix and what is her past, etc. The ending chapters will leave you shooketh and wondering what even is real anymore. 50/10 because it feels like an acid trip, man. 

The Healer is only one chapter but still worth a read. Hopefully the author will have some time to get back to it because it has a huge potential. 6/10 because I need some healing. 

1k is a one shot, featuring Hermione as a therapist and Bellatrix as her patient. Can’t say too much without spoiling it, but despite it’s short length, the author paints a vivid look into Bellatrix’s mind if she was just an insane muggle. 1k/10 because that’s one patient I would never like to meet.

Darkness Underneath I mean, Hermione runs a team of healers, so technically it’s kinda a healer au fic, right? This story looks more in depth at the Death Eaters and dark magic surrounding them. 9/10 is that a dark mark or are you just happy to see me?

TEACHER AU

We all know this is the holy grail au of this fandom and yet there’s only a couple of long stories for this. Someone, write some more!

Fractures A long fic, that has a sequel. Basically, Bellatrix is Hermione’s teacher during a very trying time for Hermione when a competition goes very wrong and dark truths are revealed. Lot’s of action, Bellamione interactions, and overall interesting plot. 8/10 will leave your heart in fractures when you find out the sequel is unfinished. 

In the Dead of Night Hermione asks Bellatrix if she can teach her some.....magic and things end up becoming very magical indeed. Bellatrix is the teacher in this story (because who wouldn’t want her as a teacher). It’s a WIP with only a couple of chapters out. 7/10 time to learn some real lessons, Granger ;)

Just a Brand features not only Bellatrix as a professor, but a magical soul mate bond between Bellatrix and Hermione that leads to much deliciousness. There’s a lot of chapters to this story but they’re pretty short. An updated and revised version can be found on a03 for those who like longer chapters. 7/10 Bellamione is branded on my soul. 

It Just Felt Right is another fic with Bellatrix as the professor. Hermione starts off hating her and then it evolves into liking Bellatrix. The fic leaves off before any real progress can be made so if anyone is up for reading an unfinished fic from 2012 then go for it. 6/10 for this story feels right but not write because it’s abandoned :(

CRIME AU 

Because there is never enough crime involved even with Bellatrix, these authors amp up the trouble and make it double. And gay. So very gay. 

Two Sides of the Same Coin where Bellatrix is basically an auror. It’s only five chapters and it hasn’t been updated in a long time but it’s an interesting concept worth checking out. 9/10 wish there were more sides to the coin. 

Murder Most Horrid A crime story, where Bellatrix is a magical cop and Hermione is a murder suspect. Bellatrix interrogates Hermione by banging her and then the two of them proceed to basically get married the day after. A bit ooc for Bellatrix but very in character if you consider this world not from the canon. -89/10 for how badly your vision will deteriorate if you try to read this all in one night. 

The Mysterious Department Technically Bellatrix and Hermione are both magical detectives and they go and solve crimes and shit while also possibly trying to prevent the world from ending. You know, just casual stuff. 10/10 for the perfect crime, would commit again. 

Darkness is Falling A story that has Hermione as an auror who replaces Bellatrix’s old partner. They butt heads, they solve cases, and naturally, begin to fall in love. 7/10 for this case is closed. 

Some Things Aren’t Seen Hermione investigates Bellatrix’s crimes and past and ends up over her head. There are two follow ups to this finished work, all in the same vein. It’s all a good bit of fun watching Hermione try to take on the criminal Lestrange. 7/10, no, this has no relation to the musical Wicked. 

SOUL MATE BOND 

In one way or another Bellatrix and Hermione have a special bond in between them that destines them to be together. Angst, love, friendship, all abound in this au type. Features a combination of other factors thrown in, but the stories put in here are largely advertised in the blurb as more focused on the bond. 

Lotus Flower Hermione finds out after Bellatrix’s death that they are bound together and that because Bellatrix is dead, Hermione is dying as a result too. This begs the question, will Hermione go back in time and save Bellatrix, or will she willingly submit to the bond’s curse? 8/10 I think we all know what Hermione chooses.

Our Mercurial Selves ever wonder what it would be like to have a murderer share your mind? In this one, Hermione and Bellatrix can communicate telepathically with each other, creating a bond that draws them together. Features evil schemes by Voldemort, a flying horse, and Narcissa beating the ever loving shit out of Bellatrix for even daring to breathe in Hermione’s direction. 9/10 will leave you with warm fuzzies for the Malfoy family before the ending crushes you. 

The House Ring Bellatrix sends Hermione a magical ring that engages them and basically makes them wives. Prophecies abound about how Bellamione is meant to be the one and only true pairing. 7/10 for that ring better come with diamonds.

Demons AU

As if Voldemort isn’t scary enough, there are demons and scary things in this au type that will leave you and Voldemort both calling for mommy. 

Unsteady Precipice technically also a time traveling fic, except Hermione ends up in an alternative universe. where she tries to change things from happening in the canon world like they did. But will it work? Who knows! Only a few chapters are out so it’s hard to tell where this story will go, but one things for sure, it’ll be good. 9/10 if you don’t pray after reading this the demons will get you. 

A Demon in the Mist is also about, gasp, demons! Dangerous things are afoot in this story and Hermione is caught in the middle of it all. It takes part in the same universe as the caught in time series by the same author, but with slight alterations. Unsure if the story will be finished as the author has contemplated leaving fanfic writing. 7/10 can you find the demon in the mist?

MAGICAL CREATURES AU

Technically a category, right? Let’s pretend it is, because there are some stories out there that pit our two ladies as other than human and it’s fun to read about it. 

As we Chase the Sun Very Black family centric and features Bellatrix as a big fluffy wolf. What’s not to love? Cuddles, and hair balls, and good times all around. 9/10 would tame that wolf. 

Sing to me Your Insanity in which Hermione and Bellatrix are both sirens and will basically die if they don’t do the ol’ frickity frack. This is a long story and the slowburn feels like hellburn but it’s worth the read. 56/10 but you will need earplugs so those sirens don’t seduce you too. 

Metamorphosis in which Bellatrix is also a wolf and doesn’t like being stuck with Hermione but gets used to it and basically they’re house wives of London and don’t know it. 8/10 for your mind with undergo metamorphosis from slightly obsessed with Bellamione to even more obsessed. 

This Poisoned Blood of Ours vampires, vampires everywhere! Two parts to this series and features a confused Bellatrix and a changing Hermione. 7/10 do you think vampires like steak rare?

Cursed Doll Pretty self explanatory title. Someone ends up as a doll and shenanigans ensue. Won’t say more because it’s only two chapters, but it’s well written and worth a read. 10/10 Chucky? Is that your sister? 

Liquid Measure these chapters are thicc boy. Only two chapters but such a good set up and everything. I hope the author is able to update at some point. 10/10 makes me thirsty for more!

My Demons in the Dark Hermione is a ghost. That’s it, that’s the plot. Boo/10 for this not so spooky spirit. 

[babbushka]

Hi,Z ✨from the 40 questions for fic writers would you please answer if you’d like of course #4,7,8,15,&16 ☺️

Hello my dear anon! Thank you so much for asking :) 

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Oh my gosh in terms of chaptered fics, 9 or 10, I think! Lol. I have lots of plans for the new year, and I can’t wait to get cracking on some of them. There’s a lot of fun in just thinking about and daydreaming about the ideas though, so even if 1 or 2 of those actually turn into something, I’m still grateful for the time to mull over new AUs or ideas. 

Currently the one that’s on my mind is Beyond Reasonable Doubt, which will be a Lawyer!Kylo AU chaptered fic in which Kylo is wrongfully accused of murder and needs you to represent him. Classic slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, murder mystery court-room drama, lol. 

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

For this question I’m going to choose this scene from Each Eye, my Mob!Kylo Ren x Reader fic: 

You were hunting, hunting him down. On your way to rip him apart limb from limb, on your way to gouge out his eyes and yank his heart straight out of his throat.

Snoke.

The man who had ordered your beloved to kill his father, which he had done! Which he had done so well, so deservingly – it hadn’t been enough. Not enough for Snoke, not enough for him who lured him into a trap for his sister to strike him down. The wretched old man, the monster who had taken your Kylo away from you, who had warped and twisted him into a puppet who had to obey.

Well, he didn’t have to obey any longer, not anymore.

Kylo was passed out, blacked out in your bed. You had found him had saved him, had sewn the chasm of his face back together with ugly fucked up stitches because you didn’t know how to do any better, you didn’t know. You had never done anything like this before, had never even seen it done. Nothing but sheer force and willpower had pushed your fingers forward, nothing but blind determination and fear had given you any sense of calm.

Were you calm?

For context, this story is about how Kylo Ren deals with the apparent news of a traitor within his family of organized crime moguls. The entire fic is shadowed by a sense of underlying tension between literally every character (other than Kylo) and you, but for the majority of the story there isn’t a clear reason why. The paragraphs above are the beginning of that why. 

I’m proud of this whole setup because really it’s something that is set up through the entire story leading to this point. There’s a curiosity there -- why does everyone fear her? Why does everyone blindly respect her? Even Kylo submits to her, and he doesn’t submit to anyone. 

Well, in the scenes that follow, you find out exactly why. It also unveils another layer to her character that we don’t see in the present. In the present, she is perfectly put together. In the flashback, she is absolutely unhinged, and that is a sort of simmering dichotomy that everyone in the story -- and now at this point, the audience -- knows can flip at any moment. 

She is capable of sheer brutality, and you see that firsthand. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

You know what I’m also going to choose a scene from Each Eye for this question lol, which as a matter of fact follows shortly after the scene mentioned above: 

“Do you remember? Remember what I did to him?” You asked softly, removing the napkin from your lap, folding it and placing it on the table. You knew there was one last course coming, some sort of ice cream, but you didn’t care.

You wanted to go home, you needed to plan.

“Yes.” Rey said, voice barely above a whisper, because she did – she was there.

“Remember how I spared you?” You asked, snapping your finger and drawing her attention so that she could look at you, so that you could look at her, really look at her.

“Yes.” Rey answered, terrified.

You were no longer all smiles, all warmth. You were no longer sunshine and charm as you had been, as you tried to always be. No, no now you were angry, now you were impatient, now you were offended. Your eyes were cold and hard when you regarded her, when you bore your gaze into hers as you leaned in ever so slightly, leaned in just enough to make her lean in too.

“I’m starting to regret that.” You whispered, before pulling away.

The waiter arrived then with the ice creams, and you returned to your normally cheerful disposition, checking your phone and collecting your belongings.

“Shit, would you look at the time!” You laughed breezily, apologetically to the waiter. “I need to get going, Kylo will be expecting me back home soon. You know how he gets if he’s away from me for too long.” You said to Rey, who was stunned.

“Of course.” She said, mind racing, pulse jumping.

The waiter nodded, handed the ice creams off to someone else passing by so they wouldn’t melt, no use in wasting them on people who wouldn’t eat it.

You eyed the little piece of newspaper that was still on the table, and picked it up.

“Oh, would you mind holding onto this for me? He doesn’t like it when I fill in the puzzle without him, gets all sour.” You winked, folding it up and handing it to Rey.

“Did you finish it?” Her voice shook as she accepted the paper.

“No, there’s one left, I was hoping you could solve it.” You smiled warmly, standing up and putting on your coat, “It’s got me stumped I’m afraid. Forty-two across.”

There’s a lot of dialogue in the Tea Room scenes, because there’s a lot of unspoken truths being revealed. But I like this moment a lot, because it’s the moment that Rey realizes she is completely and totally fucked. It’s the moment where, without saying anything at all, you tell her that you know what she’s done, what she’s doing. 

It’s also an example of that switch I mentioned above being flipped, how thin the layer of her patience is. It was all in all, just such a fun scene to write, that whole tea moment. 

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

This is such a fun question!! For those who may not know, I’m actually a spec screenwriter, and I use many of my chaptered fics as the base/starting point for some screenplays. So do keep an eye out, because there’s actually quite a few in the process of being tweaked and adapted into scripts. 

But to pick just one for this question, the answer is definitely Two Doves, a Flip Zimmerman/Reader fic I wrote which gives us a glimpse of Flip’s time in Vietnam. 

There are so many movies about the war in Vietnam, but in the updated for-screen version of Two Doves, that movie is more about veterans grappling with death and grief, humanity, morality, and what it means to be human. It’s very much an anti-war film that talks about the treatment of veterans after the war and how that’s a parallel to the treatment of vets today, as well as a commentary on the imperial militant industrial complex that has such a grasp on our country. 

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Oh hands down Flip & His Darling Jewish Wife. I just have so much invested in that version of Flip, and there’s so so much that I could write about with them. Probably because that AU is also the personal AU put into prose lol, but idk. I’m just always very interested in seeing where they go, and how they handle the things life throws at them. 

[writingismyhappytime]

Marry Me

Ricky Horror x Reader

Warnings: Language

A/N: Okay, here’s the Ricky fic you’ve been waiting for and I’ve been teasing about! It’s gonna be a slowburn, longhaul kinda deal for this relationship, full of cutsey, squeezy, fluffy moments that’ll be so sweet you won’t be able to stand it! Well, hopefully. 

"This is gonna sound weird, but I need you to marry me."

You raise your head from the car you're working on, giving your best friend a startled look. Your eyes widen, and you blink a couple times, wondering if you heard him right. Did you hit your head on the hood or something?

"Uh, what?"

Ricky shifts uncomfortably, crossing his tattooed arms. He knows it's a weird question, but it's necessary. He's standing in the auto shop you own, the smell of tires and grease making his stomach churn a little. It's Sunday, so you're the only two there, and the garage doors are open to let the cool air in. Tools are on the ground, some boxes --- your shop looks no different from every other repair place in the world.

"We need to get married." Ricky says, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth. This is the first time he's really said them out loud, not just in his head, and he doesn't like them. He promised himself he'd never get married, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Usually I prefer lots of alcohol before someone asks me to marry them." You say after a moment, leaning up from between the car hood and the motor, a tool Ricky has no idea the name for held in your hand. "Or, y'know, at least some dinner."

You take a step back, your hands flecked with black from where you've been working. You're a mechanic, you own your own shop, passed down from your father.It's an odd profession for a female, but you enjoy it, cars are your passion.

Honestly, it's how you met Ricky.

He has no idea how to even change a tire.

If it wasn't for you happening to stop and offer him help, he'd still be stuck on that back road trying to figure out how to use a jack.

"(Y/N), I'm serious. I need you to marry me." Ricky stares at you, tugging his lower lip between his teeth nervously. He didn't know how to broach the subject before, so he just decided blurting it out would be better. You're his best friend, he trusts you more then he does anyone else, you're the only person he could come too with such a ridiculous request and you not laugh quite as long in his face.

"Why would you need me to do that?" you ask, growing confused. You reach for a rag, hastily wiping the black off your fingers, your red nailpolish starting to gleam once more. You like Ricky, he's good looking, incredibly intelligent, and the way he plays his guitar is kind of sexy, if you're being honest. However, as attractive as he may be, you've never fantasized about a relationship with him, you're just friends. Hell, the two of you have never even flirted!

So what's this about marriage?

That's a rather big step, isn't it?

"Ricky, you better explain what's going on." You frown at him, your hands going to your hips. You're wearing a blue jumpsuit, the front open down to your waist, showing your tank top. It has a low neck, revealing just a hint of cleavage, black smeared across your sweaty skin; your shop is hot despite the fans, you can't help it. Working around cars creates a lot of heat, after all.

Ricky exhales heavily, nodding his head in resignation. He reaches for one of the rolly chairs you have, duct tape across the seat where it's been torn. He drags it to him before turning it backward and sitting down, resting his arms along the back of it while you sit on top of a stack of pallets, still frowning.

"My custody hearing is coming up soon," Ricky finally says, tapping his fingers nervously against the back of the chair. "I'm supposed to get joint custody of Chloe, where I get her one week and her mother gets her the next. But Claire is fighting for full, she doesn't want me to see the kid. She's gonna use the fact I'm a musician who travels a lot against me. I gotta show that I can provide a stable home life, somewhere Chloe can be with someone."

"And you think us getting married is that solution?" That's the dumbest fucking thing you've ever heard. Also, it's kind of endearing.

Ricky and Claire had dated for three years before she wound up pregnant with their daughter. You'd never liked her, she was kind of uppity, a groupie in your eyes. You always thought she only dated Ricky because he was in a popular band and so that got her a lot of the attention she always seems to be seeking. However, you never voiced your opinion, it wasn't your place, nor would Ricky have appreciated you meddling.

So, no surprise, when she had the child, a year later Ricky and her were splitting. Chloe is almost six now and Claire has drug Ricky to court so many times in the past few years, you're pretty sure that's the only time the child got to even see her father.

"Rick, I'm not sure us getting married is going to solve that for you," you say hesitantly, your hands resting in your lap. Honestly, it'll probably make more problems, right? The two of you aren't dating, everyone knows that, and a sudden marriage isn't going to make him have anymore credit.

"But I think it will," Ricky insists, pushing off with his feet, sending the chair rolling towards you. His knees bump yours, causing the chair to finally come to a stop. His baby blue eyes find your own, almost pleading. "I have to prove I can provide a stable home, (Y/N). You're the only shot I got. I live with another member of the band, so when we go on tour, Chloe can't be with me. If we get married, I could say she could always be here, with you. You own your own business, you're a successful woman --- it'll look good. It'll show I've settled down."

"Not when we've only been married a month! It'll look like a desperate last ditch effort!" You argue, shaking your head. "Ricky, we can't get married. Do you even know what that means? I'll have to switch my name, everything that's mine is yours, we'll share everything! What if one of us incurs intense medical bills? The other will be responsible for it! Ricky, we can't ---."

"I'll buy you a ring," he interrupts you, as if that's what'll make you change your mind. "A big one, really fancy. We'll have an extravagant, ridiculous wedding with flying pigeons ---."

"I think you mean doves."

"--- and a fucking, I don't know, mariachi band if that's what you want. Look, as soon as I get custody of Chloe, we can get it annulled, okay!?"

"You realize we can only get it annulled if we prove we were both incompetent to get married in the first place, or we never fuck, right?" You arch a brow at him. He pauses at the latter part, which you know is what gets his attention. This is a foolish idea and he has to realize that.

"Well, we don't have to fuck then," he says decisively, and you roll your eyes as you lean back. "I'm serious! Won't that be an easy out?"

"So, let me get this straight. You want to get married, which also entails us moving in together for aesthetic purposes, and then never have sex? So when you get your daughter, we're going to have to go to court and say we want our marriage annulled, and then explain we never consummated the marriage. They're going to want to know why. I mean, I guess I can say your dick doesn't work," you pretend to contemplate, seeing the horrified look on his face. "Say I didn't realize how much Viagra you needed just to get it up ---."

"So we'll figure something else out!" He huffs, glaring at you. "Look, I --- I don't know what else to do." He runs his fingers nervously through his hair. "She's gonna take my girl away from me, (Y/N). She's gonna make sure I never know my daughter."

You bite your lip, gazing at him. You understand, you really do. Ricky is a great dad, you've seen him with Chloe --- he adores that little girl, and she loves him to death. If his ex girlfriend wasn't such a vindictive bitch you'd like to hit with one of your cars, everyone's life would be so much easier.

"Is there nothing else you can do?" You finally sigh, your heart aching. You want to help Ricky, but you're not sure that getting married is the best route for the two of you to take. You're not even his girlfriend, the two of you have never done anything more then bump fists and share the occasional beer --- or in his case, coffee while you drink beer. "You can see if you can't prove she's an unfit mother."

"I've already tried. Apparently having a string of boyfriends one right after the other doesn't prove that fact. She has a job, she has an apartment, Chloe never misses school --- I can't prove anything without hiring someone to follow her around and analyze her every move. Chloe seems okay, she's not unhappy." Ricky shakes his head. "I'm out of options, I've tried everything. I can't keep paying for this lawyer either, he's already eating at my savings. At this rate, Claire is going to have me drained where I'm gonna have to play at fucking bars again just to pay my half of the rent."

Shit.

You didn't realize it was getting so bad for him.

You chew your lip, your brows furrowing. Conveniently you're not dating anyone, otherwise that would be a big complication. You've never been married, no one has ever been close to even proposing to you. Every relationship you've ever had has been a big failure, ending with you crying a little and ordering pizza to eat by yourself. The last guy you'd dated had turned out to be a big jerk and you'd punched him, breaking his nose and really messing up your hand. Ricky had been the one to hold the ice on your knuckles and clean away the blood, and you'd sworn then you wouldn't date again until you were sure you found someone who wasn't an asshole.

Ricky had just laughed at you.

You get his valiant cause, wanting to see his daughter, raise her. Claire is a total bitch, but so far she's been a good mother. You've never seen Chloe hungry, she's always wearing cutesy clothes and giggling, so she seems happy.

Really, Ricky just wants everything to be fair. If he's going to pay child support, he deserves to see his daughter, and maybe... well, really, it's not the worst idea you've ever heard. It's pretty high on the tier, but... this can help you too.

"So what happens, if --- and it's a big if --- I do agree?" You ask after a moment, pursing your lips. Ricky straightens a little, the miserable look on his face starting to dissipate. "What do we do?"

"We... get married, I guess. We tell our friends and family, we plan a hasty wedding, and get married." He makes it sound much too simple.

"Ricky," you're about to bust his bubble. "It's not that easy. We have to get a marriage license, find someone who can legally marry us. If you want a serious wedding where we even invite people, we need a venue. A time and place. Arrangements. I want fucking balloons flying over my head as I say I do."

"Are you serious?" Ricky frowns at you. "Balloons?"

"If I'm going to marry you for the sake of you getting your kid, you could at least give me the balloons." You huff, crossing your arms. "White balloons. Big balloons. And rice. I like the whole rice being tossed over the head thing."

Ricky actually rolls his eyes, and you kick his shin lightly, causing him to roll back across the concrete floor of your auto shop, an errant wrench finally stopping his departure. He has a half-smile on his stupid face.

"So... you agree then? You'll help me?" he asks after a moment, his eyes searching your face. "You'll marry me?"

"I haven't said yes," you say hastily, not wanting to get ahead of yourself. "You realize we'll have to live together. We can't get married and then you continue to live with Ryan, that'll look bad. You'll have to move in with me." Your brain is already three steps ahead. "I'll actually have to get my license and all that shit changed over to your stupid last name, too. Ugh, I'll be an Olson," You crinkle your nose."Plus, I mean, planning a wedding isn't super easy either. I want a white dress ---."

"I thought only virgins wore white for their wedding." Ricky quirks a brow at you, interrupting you.

"I want a white dress," you repeat, ignoring him. "With a train, and a veil, and lacy sleeves. The white balloons, maybe Devin can be my bridesmaid ----."

Ricky snorts.

"I foresee an arch, with white lilies woven into it." You spread your hands in front of you, like you're creating a rainbow. "I see water behind us, we're on a pier. It's dusk, someone is faintly playing 'here comes the bride' on piano --- Balz can do that for us. Ooo, we're cutting a triple decker cake with a guitar on top because I think those little topping things of the bride and groom are kind of tacky, and ---."

"Okay, you can stop bullshitting me already," Ricky groans, running his hands down his face as you begin to grin. "I get it, you're high maintenance, you have big dreams. Shouldn't we focus on the small details first?"

"Ricky, the small details to you are so small you completely miss the big picture. Don't focus on one tree, focus on the forest," You say,  shaking your head. "You know divorces aren't cheap. It's going to cost us a lot of money to end our marriage, one that isn't even going to be real. And hey, what if I meet the guy of my dreams?" you suddenly say, frowning. "What if I want to hook up with him and stuff?"

"Well, you better hope he's into married chicks, then. Maybe he'll have a hot girlfriend and we can say we're swingers."

You roll your eyes, swatting at him with your grease rag.

"Ricky, you're so full of shit!"

He grins, catching the rag and jerking. You don't let go, so he merely manages to roll his chair back to where you sit, his knees coming to rest beside yours.

"So, are we in this, then?" he asks, his voice growing serious. You're eye level with each other, and he reaches out, taking your hand in his. Your eyes flick nervously to his face, suddenly feeling your stomach tighten.

Are you in this?

Will you marry Ricky so he might be able to get custody of his daughter?

"There's no guarantee us being married will get Chloe for you, Ricky. This might just be a disaster, or make the situation worse." You worry, squeezing his hand. "Claire might have a mental breakdown and never let you see her."

"This is my one shot, it's all I got left in my arsenal against her." Ricky shakes his head, his black hair brushing his shoulders. "It's downhill from here anyway. If I lose Chloe, I don't want her to think it's because I don't care about her. I want her to know that I fought tooth and nail against her mother, and that I did absolutely everything I could."

"Include marrying a woman you don't even love."

Ricky hesitates at your words, and you swear there's guilt in his eyes.

"I don't... (Y/N) ---."

"No, Ricky, it's okay." You shake your head. "I get it. Your intentions are noble as shit. You're probably the only guy who's ever gonna want to marry me anyway, I should probably jump on this ship before it finds another harbor."

"Okay, you and your comparisons have got to stop." Ricky shakes his head. "First trees, now ships --- you're killing me."

You merely shrug your shoulders; you can't help it, you're quirky. No one so far has found it appealing, maybe that's why you still do it. You want someone to like you for you, for all your bad traits and all your good ones, and that includes your stupid expressions and smart ass comments; you were raised by your dad, he taught you well.

You're not going to give up who you are just to make someone else happy.

"You know one day, when all of this is over, you'll meet the right person," Ricky suddenly says, drawing your eyes back to his. "He'll ask you to marry him the right way, and you'll say yes. You'll get your fairy tale white wedding, with balloons, and pigeons ---."

"Doves."

"--- and all that stuff that you want." Ricky reaches forward, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "I can't give it all to you, except maybe the balloons. That I can do, although helium is pretty expensive ---."

"Ricky."

He chuckles, giving you that goofy grin of his. "What I'm saying is... well, no beach wedding, not this time. I have a couple thousand saved up that we can use, but it's not gonna be anything grand. Most of my cash is going for the court fees, and ---."

"Ricky, I was just bullshitting you, don't worry about it. Besides, typically the bride's family pays for the wedding anyway. Or at least I think." You shrug your shoulders, aware he's still holding your hand. "We can do it at the park or something. Sit on the swings, get married, it'll be simple."

"We'll have to invite people, we'll need a witness for the wedding." Ricky sounds a little nervous now, as if it's suddenly hitting him what he's asked you to do.

"I'll tell my one cousin to show up," you say dryly. Your mother passed away when you were young, and most of her family is gone now. Your dad passed away with a heart attack a few years ago, leaving you the shop, so you have some money put back. You have an aunt on his side who lives in town, and her kids, so you suppose if it's necessary, you could invite them to pose as your side of the family.

"Or we could just --- elope. Not even fool with any of that." Ricky hesitates. He knows what he's asking you is a big deal, but it's just fake. There's no point in putting a lot of effort into it, getting a bunch of commotion stirred up. He wants something simple, something quick, and then for it to be done. "Go to one of those quick chapels or something."

You frown, disliking the idea.

No, you don't want that at all.

If you're going to get married, and it's very possible it's the only time you ever get the option, you want it to be memorable. Just because it's not for love doesn't mean it can't be enjoyable. You want the dress, you want the photos, and the cake, and the memory of people throwing rice over your head as you and your husband race for your car with Just Married written on the back of it --- it's ridiculous, it's something you've seen in movies but always wanted.

So no.

No quick chapel.

"No." You shake your head, brushing your bangs out of your eyes; your hair is in a loose bun on the back of your head, you know you honestly look a mess right now, and you smell like grease. You doubt there's been a time Ricky hasn't seen you like you haven't just crawled out from under a car. "No, if we're doing this, we're going it the right way. I want a wedding."

Ricky hesitates, staring at you. "(Y/N)..."

"I know it's not real, but, well--- it's real for me." You withdraw your hand from his, hopping to your feet. You feel awkward, but Ricky just doesn't understand. "We might have our reasons for doing this, and it might not be because we love each other, but we're going to pretend we do. We're going to have to announce to our friends we want to get married, quick, and everyone is immediately going to assume I'm pregnant."

Ricky cringes at the word.

"Don't look like that, you know they will. Why else would we do something so stupid?" Your hands go to your hips as you stare down at him. "We're going to have to hold hands, put on a show --- if you're going to convince a court, first you have to convince the people around you. You know Claire will want to be at the wedding, she'll bring Chloe just to be a snob. Make her wish she wasn't such a bitch and hadn't dumped your scrawny ass. Show her the wedding that could have been hers."

Really, you just want the experience of a beautiful wedding, you don't care if it makes his ex feel jealous or not. But, you know what will convince Ricky, just how to pull his strings, and already he's nodding his head in agreement with you.

"I guess... I mean, that makes sense." he mutters, finally get to his feet, brushing at his pants. "You're right."

"Of course I am. So, pretty wedding is decided." You say, a tad gleeful. You can always rent a wedding dress, not buy one, so that'll save some cash. "And I'll need a ring. I wear a size seven, surprise me."

Ricky snorts, crossing his arms. He guesses by the way you're talking, since you've never actually said yes, is that you're in. The way your eyes light up though, just at the thought of planning something so redundant... it's cute.

You seem genuinely excited about this.

But what you said... do you really think you'll never have a chance at a wedding? Is that why you want to go all out now?

Is there even time for it?

"We should go to the courthouse tomorrow for the marriage license," Ricky says after a moment, a little relieved. He'd honestly expected to have to beg you for the next couple hours, to  get on his hands and knees in the grease and oil and bow his forehead to the floor. This is actually going better than expected. "We can go early, your guys can open the shop for you, right?"

"Yeah, shouldn't be a problem. So we get it, then what?" You want a solid plan, after all. "Should I start calling around? What date do we even want to set?"

"I don't care," Ricky shrugs his shoulders. "Just as soon as possible."

Right, that's completely helpful.

You sigh, crossing your arms. "Fine, I'll find us a place, and I'll take care of the judge who can marry us. You find me a pretty ring, I'll see if we can't find a place to rent a dress and tux --- no nose curling, you're wearing a tux!" You say firmly. "Plus, we'll need a cake! And someone to cater for the reception ---."

"Reception?"

"Of course! All weddings have receptions where everyone can mingle. Plus, we need music, we'll have to have a first dance. And one of your friends is going to have to give a speech saying how happy they are that we found each other and all that bullshit. Hmm, I'll need a bridesmaid." Maybe you can sacrifice your cousin to that spot. "You need a best man."

"Uh ---."

"And we'll have to start getting the decorations in order." You continue, ignoring Ricky's look of growing dismay --- you're suddenly making this complicated and he's going to panic. "Flowers, I still want an arch even if there's no beach --- do we want it outside or inside? Do you care if it's a church?"

Ricky leans his hip against the car, watching as you pace back and forth in front of the car you're working on. You're getting all excited and girly on him, and that's not something he's used too. You're so tough, always covered in grease or some other kind of car grime, he can't actually think of a moment where you haven't had something on your face or skin. He's having a hard time imagining you in a white wedding dress, or even with makeup on.

He figured you wouldn't be the type to want something like that.

Maybe he doesn't know you as well as he thinks he does.

"You get whatever you want," he says after a moment, seeing you turn to look at him over your shoulder. "You pick everything."

He owe's you that for doing this, doesn't he? He figures you can have your dream wedding, even if it's all just a show, and in return you can help him make sure his daughter grows up with a father. It's not a bad trade at all.

"Are you saying that to be nice or because you don't want to fool with any of it?" You question dryly, seeing him roll his eyes.

"A little of both, actually. I don't know the first thing that goes into a wedding and you already seem to have everything down."

You might have thought about it a lot. You like the pretty weddings in TV shows and movies, you always imagined something grandiose and over the top --- so although there's not going to be fireworks going off in the background, or a big church with a steeple and old ladies weeping with joy in the pews, you want something nice.

Something your dad would have wanted to come too.

"Are you sure about this?" You bite your lip as you turn to Ricky, finally facing him. He's only a little taller then you, so your eyes are almost level. You don't want to go through all of this and then he suddenly back out last minute. "I don't want to be that girl who gets left literally at the alter because you decide this is a bad idea."

"I would never do that," he shakes his head immediately. "I'm serious about all this. I need it for Chloe. You plan the wedding, get the balloons, the bird, the rice or whatever, and I'll take care of everything else."

"Everything else?"

"Uh, announcing it to people? Making it public where it's believable. I'll..." he grimaces. "Have to post something about it on Twitter, we'll need some photos together."

"We've had photos together before."

"Yeah, but... you know what I mean. And we'll have to kiss ---."

"You make it sound like kissing me will kill you." You frown sourly. "I'll have you know, I'm a fantastic kisser. You're the one who needs to work on your technique."

"What?" Ricky scowls at you. "What does that mean ---?"

"I've seen you kiss other women, Ricky. You're all tongue and no technique. You need to work on it." You shrug your shoulders. "I don't appreciate someone sticking their tongue down my throat and not knowing how to use it."

"I know how to use my tongue!"

"That remains to be seen." You gaze at him, trying not to smile at his irritated expression. "Now, I need to finish working on this car so it's ready tomorrow. You sit, and we'll start working over some of the details. Who we want to tell first, who we want to come, stuff like that. Think you can handle that much of the details with having a coronary?"

"Maybe." His answer is so sullen.

You chuckle as you turn away, tucking your hair behind your ears once more as you lift up your tool, gazing down at the car.

You're sure this is going to be interesting.

Tags: @imaginemiw   @bigdaddyfairywinkle @riegan @lucifersnudes    @horrorshow365    @imjustareject99    @nikkihorrorxx   @miss-evil-one   @itstrashleydude.  @kapowski-sitkowski.    @the-angriest-angel

@sumbitxoxo    @batgirl09151997  @ nokomihorror

[vaguely-concerned]

SO I DID GET TO SEE GOOD OMENS AND TL;DR IT WAS EXCELLENT, I AM EUPHORIC

more thoughts and spoilers under the cut!

the FUCK YEEEEEEEAAAAAHs:

- mr gaiman you did it you made it even gayer I never even believed it was possible what is this 6000 years pining slowburn nonsense 

*ahem* to be more serious about it I loved that the show takes the emotional throughlines from the book and somehow both heightens and deepens them. 

- it really is phenomenally faithful to the book and the stuff it adds is mostly a m a z i n g. it kept me perfectly engaged despite me knowing what like 75% of the dialogue was going to be

- david tennant doesn’t quite go for the same energy as how I imagine crowley in the book -- in my head he’s more... idk how to explain it but the vibe is more someone grinning a bright fixed ‘this is totally my suave face’ grin while clearly continually going ‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck’ internally haha, to me he’s slightly less... mercurial? trying to play his cards closer to the chest? but you know what show!crowley is fucking hilarious too and I do like what they’ve done with him being less of an optimist at the core and more enjoying the world through his connection with aziraphale -- the sense of underlying loneliness you get in some places in the book has really been dialed up, he just wants a friend :( (which incidentally seems to be part of the reason he fe -- sauntered vaguely downwards too; he mostly wanted to hang out with someone, and today he still doesn’t really fit in with either the angels or the demons) 

- I can’t believe they managed to capture the feeling of ‘Under the ash and soot that flaked his face, he looked very tired, and very pale, and very scared’ on screen; it’s one of the moments of the book that really stuck with me and it worked so well here too, especially since the fallout of the situation stays with him longer

- this version of aziraphale is just. so lovely. so so good, literal precious angel who almost got his head cut off for crepes, I totally see why crowley persevered through the ages and his own intimacy issues, good call my friend. thank you michael sheen, every time this character showed up on screen I was filled with joy and delight

- I’m completely undone by how incredibly mutual their friendship is in this -- despite crowley being the more active in asking for connection it’s obvious all the way through how much aziraphale genuinely adores him and enjoys his company (even though he knows he shouldn’t and so continually needs to give himself some plausible deniability)

when aziraphale’s voice breaks as he’s like ‘don’t go’ after they’ve argued in the park and he’s just tried to pretend they’re not even friends? hahahahahahaha ouch my fucking heart

- sister mary loquacious was the most endearing thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life, give that actress all the roles she’s got the charisma of the gods

- “not only a southern pansy, sergeant -- the southern pansy” got through and it was glorious (ditto shadwell’s naming schemes, I for sure thought that wouldn’t be mentioned but it’s so incredibly funny)

- crowley repeatedly and openly just... begging aziraphale to go off to the stars with him what the fick-freckedy-fuck

- Of the horsemen Pollution was my absolute fave (so cool and unsettling and nonbinary rep!!!!!!! also they feel like the youngest horseman in such a deep way, every credit to the actress that was great) and I really enjoyed the twist on Famine, making him seem more intense and hungry himself as part of his nature as opposed to in the book where he’s basically like... diet vetinari lol

- G A B R I E L  he was so perfectly awful... absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever he’s just a piece of shit all the way through and John Hamm was clearly having the time of his life with it and I too was living 

- crowley crying in the bar because he lost his best friend and there’s no point to even try to run away anymore if he’s alone, he’s just waiting for the end of the world ;____________________________________________________; what an addition, such a thoughtful way to steer his character arc, wonderful, spectacular

in the book it’s more about him finding his way through the fear and desperation and having lost everything back to his core ‘actually... fuck this there’s no situation I can’t snake my way out of let’s goooooooooo’ self, which is admittedly really cool and satisfying, but it feels like a shallower thing than finally reaching a point where he can no longer pretend he doesn’t care or doesn’t want things. (also... the way his will to live reignites the moment aziraphale needs him fjskadlfhaskdhfksldhfslkahdf “I’ll come find you” INDEED fjksdafhsdlfhsdalfh) 

- also a nice tiny change: the implication that reason he can drive the bentley through the flames is that he loves that car so fucking much, he’s invested so much of himself and his emotions in it over many years, like a sort of microcosm of how he feels about the actual world (and specifically humanity’s presence in it) that produced it

- the child actors were uniformly precious, and the kid who played adam got me right in the feelings. the sort of comedic sociopathy of kids thing going on in the book is downplayed, which means I was feeling all the more protective of this sweet sweet kid who just loves his dog and his friends and fjsdfklasjkh

- *sigh* my embarrassing crush on david tennant has been lying dormant these last few years, simply waiting for its chance to rise from the depths like a kraken yet again, and I am slightly unsettled that what really made it surface this time was him dressed up as evil Mary Poppins + the bathing suit, socks included. ah well the heart uh wants what it wants I guess 

- crowley is awfully quick to suggest child murder for someone who’s blatantly not willing to harm a hair on a kid’s head himself lawl the two of them just juggling the ‘but maybe you could like... quickly murder him so we could avoid all this???’ ball back and forth before madame tracy finally knocks some sense into them 

- the actress for madame tracy did such an amazing job that I literally forgot aziraphale wasn’t actually possessing her, ART

- fellas... is it gay to blow up a bunch of nazis for your ~*best friend*~ and save his books while actualfax romantic music swells in the background... asking for a friend 

- “anywhere you want to go” :):):):) oh no

- to be Sad at you for a second here... why the fuck did aziraphale immediately assume crowley wanted the holy water to use it on himself? is there like. a story here we don’t know. is this the fallout of going to check wtf the spanish inquisition was all about. I’m almost afraid to ask

- to be even Sadder: that ‘For Terry’ made me cry and I’m not ashamed to admit it

the awwww... okay I guess you can’t have EVERYTHINGs:

- the scene where crowley and aziraphale get wasted together after the antichrist is delivered is not quite as funny as it is in my head, but then I don’t think anything in the physical world could be as funny as the way I imagine them just like somberly leaning over the table at each other with little regard for personal space and drunkenly expounding on dolphins, so I’ll forgive it

- CGI satan was completely unnecessary and not even very well designed *shrug emoji* the whole point of that scene is that we never get to see him, just the mounting dread as he’s getting closer, and then the wordless reveal of who Adam considers to be his dad and that’s all that matters and even the devil is powerless against it... loved the ~*godfathers*~ giving a little literal angel/devil on my shoulder pep talk, tho, that was incredibly sweet

- ...the maggots huh neil. couldn’t leave them out huh. what a world it would be if we didn’t get to see a bunch of people get eaten by a writhing roomful of maggots huh. 

- ETA: actually one more: I refuse to accept this version of DEATH, hashtag not my reaper

[sombrz]

Hello please talk about king explosion murder

THE BOY!!!!!

can you believe i spent months trying to be lowkey about my bakugou ships? it took me a while to even admit he was my favourite despite the fact i knew from the start i’d end up a bakugou stan. i never had a ‘oh no this kid’s a mean terrible person’ phase - it was a ‘oh, i can’t Reveal my character tastes like this. not like this.’ phase.

this got…..long. so uh. under the cut it goes:

ANYWAY: i ship bakugou with…..uh…….a lot of characters. kiribaku is the easiest to explain - dumbass jock boyfriends who do shit like baku using kiri as a hammer to make mochi. and kiri being gung-ho about testing his unbreakable mode (which, btw, was motivated by bakugou’s words!!!) by having bakugou fucking. use howlitzer impact on him. you know how i feel about bro ships (hint: i love them). how kiri went from ‘man this bakugou guy is nuts!!! we have to stop him!!!!’ to ‘wow bakugou is so manly and cool and i wanna be by his side’ in the span of (1) one-on-one convo. HE LIKES BAKUGOU SO MUCH. IT’S CUTE. LIKE, I DON’T THINK BAKUGOU GETS HOW HAPPY HE MAKES KIRISHIMA LMAO. how bakugou so readily accepted kiri as an equal - bakugou, who only had two categories for people [extras vs rivals], never thought to seriously think of kiri as anything but an ally and a friend, people always talk how kirishima was the first classmate bakugou even bothered remembering the name of, and with reason, since it says a lot. kiri’s got quite a bit of mlm subtext going on, tbh, and bakugou’s the source of almost all of it. soooooo there’s that too. 

but i’ve also fallen Deep into bakudeku. it’s the shared development, okay. the history and complex emotions and the slowburn to becoming partners. there’s just so much, and they’re so ENTRENCHED in each other. for better or worse, for how much they might dislike the fact they can’t stop thinking about each other, they just can’t help it. they couldn’t understand each other at all but somehow still knew the other inside and out. and deku’s been so smitten since he was like a baby 3 year old and it breaks my heart. it’s honestly one of my favourite shounen rival ships bc it keeps subverting your expectations. and every episode/chapter that deals with their issues and nudges them closer to the ideal - the endgame - is guranteed to be among the best. they’re the backbone of the series, and i love watching them grow together. the fact that they’re currently HEALTHY RIVALS AND TENTATIVE FRIENDS (like deku feels so comfortable gushing over bakugou to his face again and bakugou is so invested in deku’s improvement & is only snappy w/ him out of reflex lmao)….that bakugou is deku’s secret keeper and deku is the one person bakugou allows himself to be vulnerable around……HOO BOY. i just imagined bakugou holding out his hand for deku to take - or accepting deku’s hand at all - and died.

ALSO, TODOBAKU….my darkhorse ship, which hit me in the face one day when i realized how a) hilarious they are together and b) how the series keeps shoving them together (sometimes literally - thanks slidin’ go for giving them the group hug they deserved). i love how they’re so different yet similar - bakugou is loud and obnoxious while todoroki is stern and quiet, but they’re both rude prodigies who needed to be jumpkicked into realizing that they could become better people with the help of others instead of letting anger and bitterness swallow them up. and the provisional exam course made it so they were forced to hang out with each other 95% of the time for three whole months and i LIVE FOR THAT. i love how funny they are - todoroki is snarky & doesn’t even bat an eyelash over bakugou’s tantrums but genuinely tries to be nice and make friends with him! bakugou is so petty and wants todoroki’s attention soooo bad but don’t think i haven’t noticed that most times we’ve seen him genuinely smile has been in todoroki’s presence (ok, then todoroki reacts to it and bakugou instantly goes back to a snarl but STILL). also the fact that the narrative doesn’t want us to forget that bakugou eavesdropped on todoroki telling deku about his family, and bakugou is always Alert and keeping an eye on todo whenever endeavour is involved bc he’s sympathetic and y’know??? cares????? SO GOOD. AND THEY’RE SUCH A GOOD TEAM - SURPRISINGLY IN SYNC AND THEIR QUIRKS MATCH UP AND I LOVE THEM!

GOD, HORI…..BAKUGOU/URARAKA WOULD BE SO GOOD. like, can you *imagine* the sheer potential of a ship that you only really have them interact during one goddamn tournament fight and yet it becomes arguably the most popular het ship in your series (w/ only the main character and his canon love interest as real competition????) i love them though, like,,,,i find it so interesting that uraraka has shown, despite again - minimal onscreen interaction - that she understands bakugou better than most. she knows how he’d handle their fight and uses that to her advantage. (and while she still lost, she gained his respect and a new drive to get stronger!) she’s the one who brings up how HE’D feel about the plan to go rescue him - that his pride would prevent him from easily accepting help. i’m desperately trying to figure out a way they could animate that omake where uraraka plants herself in deku’s seat and demands that bakugou bury the hatchet with him while gently but firmly calling him out for his root issue of fear and his defense mechanism of violently pushing deku away. and it managed to calm him down and honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if he ruminated on those words for a while. IT’S SO GOOD, WHY WASN’T IT IN THE STORY ITSELF!!! and like, the mere fact he respects her a lot and ended up *psyched* to continue fighting her - and after he’s told deku had nothing to do with her plan, i don’t think he’d make that mistake again, which makes it easier for him to understand her back. he knows she’s smart and talented and that everyone else was wrong to underestimate her. also, i love that uraraka thinks bakugou is like…..funny? he’s out there threatening to murder kaminari and uraraka’s like ‘hahaha :’’)))’ bc she has such a Bro/vulgar sense of humour. like, i think they’d have a lot of fun together. LET THEM TALK MORE, PLS!!!!

THOSE ARE MY MAIN SHIPS BUT I ALSO SHIP HIM WITH THE REST OF THE BAKUSQUAD! BOTH PLATONICALLY AND ROMANTICALLY! I HAVE NO SHAME! baku/kami is so underrated and great - kaminari is just as much bakugou’s bff as kirishima is, tbh, and he has absolutely No Chill which makes their interactions - especially the further the story goes and bakugou’s edges soften - so much fun. one moment, he’ll be casually commenting that bakugou is the worst and needs to change his whole rotten personality - then the next second, he’ll be sprawled all over him, calling him kacchan and defending his honour from actual haters. and bakugou just fucbdhfhd lets this happen. bakugou likes kaminari enough to just let him. do whatever the hell he wants. ALSO, THE BAND. admittedly, sero is the only one with enough common sense and actual standards to avoid dating bakugou (’HE’LL NEVER BE BEAUTIFUL’ ghdhfhd sero) but i still adore them. sero’s so tricksy and loves playing the reverse psychology trick on bakugou, who just constantly falls for it. i bet he was the first person bakugou let just hang out in his room, and he probably appreciates that sero actually gives him his space when he needs it! i can’t believe baku/sero is the Real ‘bakugou pining’ ship. @ hori: GIVE MINA AND BAKUGOU ACTUAL INTERACTIONS, GDI. i’m forced to headcanon their whole dynamic from near-scratch. whereas kiri and kami are more the type to glue themselves to bakugou’s back, i imagine mina’s the type to actively drag bakugou along places. she probably cried when she found out that a) his parents are rich designers (’BUY ME CLOTHES, BAKUGOUUUU’) and b) his glycerin-based quirk and taking after his mom means he usually has perfect skin and has never broken out in his life. she doesn’t speak to him for a week until he takes her out to dinner and buys her a cute dress. and i’m super fond of baku/jirou. i love that their dynamic is like…..while the rest of their friends are doing dumb shit For The VineTM, they’re on the sidelines waiting for shit to hit the fan. they’re punk buds and prob do that couples clothes switch thing a lot just to see if anyone notices. jirou bosses him around and he takes all her advice seriously and like, they trust each other! they have great team synergy! she was the first person bakugou both consciously protected and asked to protect him in turn!! DID I MENTION THE BAND?? i also ship him with camie! it’s just such a funny concept to imagine - like imagine you’re in class 1A and bakugou shows up out of nowhere with a hot girlfriend who talks. like that. and she makes him laugh??? and no, seriously, does he actually understand what the hell she’s saying???? WHAT’S HAPPENING. but yeah, she very casually teases him but also seemed comfortable w/ him right off the bat and i know in my heart that bakugou relented and let her have his phone number. also, i find it funny people started shipping him with shindou after bakugou was the one to call him out for being duplicitous. bakugou’s the type of character that just needs to interact with another character once and *someone* out there will be like ‘what if………..they were dating’ and that’s so valid of them.

good bakugou ot3/ot4s: kirishima/bakugou/uraraka, todoroki/midoriya/bakugou, todoroki/inasa/camie/bakugou. i reblog a looooot of kirishima/kaminari/bakugou and bakugou/uraraka/midoriya even tho i don’t actually ship either as an ot3 that much, oops? they’re good ships tho.

is there something i’m missing? I MIGHT BE MISSING SOMETHING.

[pasmonblog]

🎲

🎲- your favorite chapter/part from a multiparty series

Oh boy. I’m going to put most of this below a cut because this is a long chapter from A Call To Arms, and to date, it’s probably still my favourite (posted) chapter in the series.

To set the scene before the cut, it’s a looooong slowburn that hasn’t been realized at this point. While Clint and Dani are exceedingly comfortable and touch-feely around each other, they just chalk it up to coping mechanisms and a mutual understanding (idiots).

It doesn’t give away too much series plot, so please enjoy the flangst below.

A Call To Arms, Chapter Eight

“This is some supreme irony, Barton.”

Dani only ever called him by his last name when he fucked up. And boy, did he ever.

Clint was all sorts of black and blue. His face was pocked with scrapes and bruising and he was having a hard time holding up the left side of his body, arm hanging limply at his side. Dani could feel the discomfort in his expression as he flashed her a bashful, apologetic grin. Or whatever his face could manage at the time.

If this is what he looked like getting out of medical, she didn’t want to know what he’d looked like walking in.

“I haven’t seen you in a month, and you happen to show up, in my office, like this, on Valentine’s Day?”

He shuffled through the doorway, awkwardly meandering through the room as she observed him. She was nervous he was about to keel over and wanted to be ready if she had to break his fall — or attempt to, rather.

“I was breaking in a new bow?” He offered unconvincingly.

“Yeah, sure,” she huffed, assisting him onto the exam room table. “A likely story. I’m sure the real one is way above my pay-grade.”

She cringed with his every hiss and groan, not even sure he was in good enough shape to be in her hands right now. But, if anything, it was better she identified anything now that she’d have to monitor the progress of going forward.

Goddamn it, Barton. What the hell did you do to yourself?

She was having a bad enough day as it was, she didn’t need this. Unsteady fingers helped him lift the shirt over his head, revealing more colourful bruising and stark white bandages.

“Jesus, Clint,” she exhaled sharply, testing his responsiveness by gentle pressing against the skin along his ribs.

“Your hands are cold,” he whined, taking her hands into his own.

He rubbed his warm hands against hers in an effort to reheat them, but she pulled away, instantly resuming her work. They couldn’t waste time, knowing how long it was going to take to make her way through his menagerie of injuries. He shivered slightly under her grasp as she surveyed him.

“Serves you right,” she sassed lightly, but there was no malice in her tone.

If anything, she was glad he was even able to walk into her office at all.

His skin was tender to the touch, heated by inflammation around the wounds. She noticed some new scars littering his skin as she poked around and steered him through some movements. Tracing the lines of his stiff muscles and tendons under her fingers, she made mental notes. And while he started off very vocal with her prods, by the time she finished his back, his feedback had devolved into a weak moan.

“Enjoying yourself, are you?” She joked, intently gauging his expression.

“Not exactly the type of massage I had in mind,” he grumbled. “Trust me.”

She sighed, taking down some detailed notes in his file and instructing him on on-going care. There were a few tears, some strains and some mobility issues. Scientifically speaking, Clint was a mess… if that wasn’t already quite clear. Her eyes kept drifting over to his hunched over form on the table, staring at her work behind her screen. Trying to coax a smile out of her.

She leaned her face against her knuckles as she processed some things from behind her desk.

“Am I going to make it, Doc?” Clint quipped in a hoarse voice at her expression.

His blue eyes were exhausted and vivid, the red rims making the colour even brighter. Tired crinkles sunk deep at the edges of his eyes and Dani suddenly wondered the last time he’d slept.

“Barely,” she shot back, face still straight to not give him the satisfaction of a smile. “Are you going to be able to get home?”

He hesitated, wringing his hands as he spoke, “I was just—“

She asked, but she’d already made up her mind.

“I’ll drive you,” Dani said without a second thought as she closed his file. “You’re my last patient today, and you’re lucky I took the car in this morning.”

He didn’t fight her, he knew better from her lack of banter. But still, Clint tried to get a rise out of her.

“Cap’s bike too good for you or something?” he smiled, but Dani knew he was just deflecting.

She replied soberly, “Trying to avoid a repeat in the press.”

Clint supplied a knowing look, looking slightly guilty at bringing it up as face returned to neutral. She started gathering her things from around the room before aiding him off of the exam table. Watching carefully for any wobbles, she looped her arm around his waist to steady him as they headed towards the door.

Setting Clint to lean against the wall, she quickly locked her office and turned to meet his gaze.

“My place or yours?” Dani thought about it for a split second before amending, “Do you even have food at your place?”

She knew he’d be in a lot more pain later if he didn’t have something. Best case, he ordered Chinese food and actually ate the vegetables. Worst case, he passed out on an empty stomach and woke up hurting worse than he did now.

He shook his head with a guilty grin, “Unless something mutated into food while I was gone for the last month.”

“My place then.”

She could feel him go rigid, stopping her in her tracks.

“Dani, I don’t want to put you out—”

“Clint, you and I both know that if I had some big plans, you and Nat’d probably know before I did,” Dani griped, maybe a little too frustrated. She sighed and willed her voice softer, “Just let me help you out.”

Another sideways glance from the archer before he nodded. She felt like she’d reversed roles with Steve when she had to buckle Clint into his seat, smiling slightly as she did. Clint shot her a raised eyebrow, but she shook it off and got behind the wheel.

“Sooo… how was work?”

She had been staring so intently at the road that she hadn’t noticed him fidgeting in his seat. Clint wasn’t one for silence in the best of times, but she’d gone and made his appointment awkward with her icy replies.

She breathed out a chuckle, “Sorry, it was a rough one today. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“Well, you did make me promise to not making a habit of showing up black and blue,” he said with a smile. “So I deserved some of it.”

She paused a beat, “Yeah, I guess you did.”

His smile broadened, and before long, they had arrived at her place. It was already dark out by the time they pulled in outside the building, not that it took much this time of year. Dani dropped Clint off out front with her key so he wouldn’t have to hike up quite as many stairs.

Also so he could get a head start and shower — though she’d had some doubts he was stable enough to do that. She found him alive (a good sign) and settled on her couch in a spare pair of sweats and a t-shirt he’d dug out of her top drawer. Head leaning back and eyes closed, she tried to be as quiet as she could, not knowing the last time he’d been able to rest.

Thankfully her cookware was already on the counter drying so she didn’t have to rummage for it. She lit the stove, set up a pot full of water and started heating up the pan. Pasta was easy and a fan favourite, so she got to work without a word. Oil, garlic, onion, diced tomatoes and some chicken breast for protein.

It was nothing fancy, but it was enough carb-wise to hopefully speed up Clint’s recovery.

Dani was so immersed in cooking that she didn’t notice Clint watching her until she reached over into a nearby cupboard for some serving plates. His expression was somewhere between curiosity and admiration.

“Hungry?”

“I could eat,” he said with a soft smile. “You didn’t have to cook, we could have ordered something.”

“It would have taken hours tonight,” she chuckled. “It’s Valentine’s Day, remember?”

His expression told her he didn’t remember, and her chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh. They ate dinner on the couch, Dani firmly instructing her friend not to even try to get up in his condition. The only sounds were the clinking of cutlery and Clint moaning into his pasta bowl.

“So good,” he groaned in a low rumble. “Best Valentine’s ever.”

“You’ve had worse Valentine’s than getting beaten to a pulp so bad you weren’t even able to drive yourself home?” She asked incredulously.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had someone make me dinner from scratch?” He said, sounding unsure. “And I’ve definitely been in worse scraps. At least, I’m pretty sure…”

“Is that you or the head trauma talking?” She said with a smile. “To be fair, this is probably the most romantic thing I’ve done on Valentine’s Day too.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never been wined and dined on the almighty heart-shaped holiday?” He smirked, eyes alight at the prospect of digging into her love life.

“Well,” she started, thinking back. “From recent memory, I’ve been dumped, and walked out on one of the worst dates ever. The last time I got something for Valentine’s was probably in high school. I think it was a Care Bears card.”

He smiled so broadly he squinted, hand clapping on her thigh.

“We make quite the pair,” Clint laughed, clutching his ribs and groaning. “Oh, don’t make me laugh.”

“That’s going to be hard if we’re talking about dating histories, or lack thereof,” she smiled, picking up the empty plates and setting them in the dishwasher. “Do you want an icepack?”

He groaned in response, so she wrapped the ice pack in a spare tea towel and brought it over to him. Clint hissed as she lifted the hem of his shirt and pressed it against his ribs. His hand wrapped over hers and she flushed slightly, pulling away and walking back to the kitchen.

She cleared her throat nervously, “Dessert?”

“What’s on the menu?” His face brightened up as he looked at her over his shoulder.

“Ben & Jerry’s?”

He beamed, “I knew you were my favourite for a reason.”

Setting the bowls down on the coffee table in front of them, they settled on a brainless comedy, just something to be in the background. Dani didn’t expect Clint to be awake much longer; his eyes were already drooping as he sat on the couch with her.

“So, I really did interrupt your V-Day plans, huh?” he said quietly, nudging his head toward the ice cream bowls.

“Oh yeah, just me, the TV and a pint of ice cream,” she said with a straight face.

He snickered, shifting so his legs were on the couch and head leaned on her bicep. He was a furnace on her side, a welcome escape from the draft coming in through the poorly insulated windows that lined her apartment. The lovely light she got during the days made for terribly cold evenings.

Clint’s arms enveloped her, still half-asleep by her count. She sank deeper into the couch, finding her own eyes hard to keep open between his body heat and his meandering touch. Fingertips lazily drew on her side, exposed by her ridden up t-shirt, before stopping suddenly at a raised edge.

Her breath hitched as she realized what he felt and stayed trapped in her chest as he examined the puckered skin.

“When did you get this?” his voice was gravely, suddenly sounding more awake.

She was stock-still, scared that if she moved she’d either hurt him or look like she was hiding something. Well, hiding more than she actually was.

“Hmm,” she pretended to think about it.

Pretended that she couldn’t remember the day she got it in vivid detail. Every waking moment, every scar. Even the ones Clint couldn’t reach.

“I think I was eleven,” she settled quietly, feeling Clint tense beside her.

His hands hadn’t left her side, hovering just over the marred skin like he was suddenly apprehensive. Afraid to set her off down a path she didn’t want to retread.

But he asked the question anyway. At this point, he must have known the answer.

“How does an eleven year-old get a cigarette burn?”

His tone wasn’t hostile, it wasn’t prying, but she could feel his heart rate increase beside her.

Dani couldn’t lie to him; he didn’t deserve that. The last thing she wanted was to worry him, not about things neither of them had any control over. There was no use burdening others with things she’d happily left in the past, after all.

But, if she couldn’t be honest with Clint, who could she be honest with?

“Some guy my mom dated,” she murmured. “And no, Tony doesn’t know,” she added, anticipating his next question.

He leaned his forehead against her arm, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in. Hands resuming in small circular motions on her back, the soothing motion sending shivers down her spine.

She waited for him to ask her why she never said anything, why she acted like it was nothing, but it never came.

“My ol’ man was a piece of shit too,” he admitted privately. “To me and my brother.”

She didn’t even know he had a brother.

“I’m sorry.” She was. “I didn’t know.”

He looked up at her with those blue eyes she couldn’t tear herself away from. Beneath the bravado and the banter was this man, who had a hell of a lot more secrets than he was telling, but a good man, nonetheless. Bobbi had seen it, Nat knew it, and here she was, spilling one of her closely guarded secrets, only to have him offer up a piece of his own past in return.

Her stomach fluttered at the sad look in his eyes, hands drifting to meet his, now wrapped around her.

“Not your fault. I get it, though,” he sighed a little, body relaxing to a more natural state. “People like us gotta stick together,” he mumbled as he nuzzled himself into her arm.

It must have been a couple of hours later when she stirred next. The TV had long gone dark, and she wasn’t sure if either of them were truly awake or asleep. His arm still circled her waist, body pressed to her back on the couch with no sign of either of them wanting to move. Breathing level, even and in sync.

Even though he was black and blue and would have a hell of a time getting off the couch in the morning, she’d never felt safer. She could feel him stir slightly against her.

“Dani?”

“Mm?”

He murmured into her shoulder, barely audible in a sleepy voice, “You’re the best.”

She could only manage a half smile, chin a little wobbly from his words. Dani was suddenly very glad her face was hidden from him, so he couldn’t see the sappy tears hiding in her eyelashes.

“Least I can do,” she tried to brush off in her most level voice. “By my count, I owe you a lot more of these considering the last couple of years.”

He pulled himself up slightly to look down at her, voice coming out a bit clearer now, “You don’t owe me anything. You know I’d do anything for you.”

She could only nod and hug his arms a little tighter as he settled back into the couch, unable to find words to say he wasn’t alone in that sentiment. A few minutes passed before he threaded his fingers between hers and, considering how level his breathing was, she couldn’t tell if he even realized he was doing it.

A tear slipped down her cheek, but she wasn’t exactly sad.

Dani knew two things in that moment, and she knew them very well: she had fallen hopelessly for something she couldn’t have, and even knowing that, she had never been happier.

“Goodnight, Clint.”