#The way Phil literally rubbed his face in it Im LOSING it

[royalarchivist]

For those who missed it, here’s Phil slam-dunking Quackity’s face into his birthday cake LMFAO, I love their friendship dynamic

[another-stark-sub]

Okay so I know it’s smutty Saturday; but this just came to mind. If it doesn’t work that’s fine; I was thinking what about head cannons where Tony is having nightmares about losing you? But he isn’t saying anything about them and ends up smothering you before he finally confesses?

Girl smutty saturday can also be soft saturday

Tony was always clingy. Not in a bad codependent way, but it was expected. Hes a superhero, and seemingly half of well known villains had some sort of motive against him

It was mostly too much gift giving or many check ups. Away on missions, hed send you something every day

"So I know youre thinking about me."

"Tony, I always think about you."

Seven months into dating Tony, something strange happened.

You woke up to breakfast. It wasnt unusual for Tony to maybe wake up earlier than you and cook breakfast, but what was unusual was that he should be on the helicopter to New York.

"Tony?"

"Morning!" He flipped a pancake and nodded. "Breakfast is covered. Don't worry about a thing, dear." He kissed your cheek.

"Oh, ok." You sat down and stared at the copious amount of breakfast foods laid put for you. "Shouldnt you be on a helicopter?"

"Cancelled. So, thought I might as well give you something to wake up to." He put the last, kinda burnt, pancake on a plate and kissed your head.

"Oh." You nodded. This was new. "Thank you, honey." Something was off, but there have off things abt tony before. He diesnt like to be handed things. He was a messy and somehow organized workspace. Maybe cooking when something is cancelled is one of things.

Throughout the day, Tony didn't let you lift a finger. While at work, a lunch from your favorite restaurant was delivered to you. You got texts asking if you were ok and if you needed anything at least once an hour.

Again, something was definitely off, but maybe it wasnt that badm tony didnt talk to you about anything off, so maybe he was handling it himself

But this continued for the next few days. And a week has passed with home-cooked breakfasts and hourly check ups when Iron Man himself knocked in the window by your desk.

"Tony!"

The mask came off and he smiled. "Your phone," he said.

You checked and lo and behold, you missed the hourly check up text and dozens more after that.

That was when it didnt matter if Tony didnt bring it up with you. You had to approach this.

Iron man flew you home, and when Tony was out of the suit, you asked, "What's going on?"

"Hm? The suit? Got it all tricked out. Stayed up last night-"

"No, not that." You stepped closer to him. "Youre acting strange."

He made a face. "You just found that out now. How long have we been together again?"

"Enough for me to know that something is up." You smiled and reached up to cradle his face in your hands. "Hey, you can tell me anything. You know that right?" Giving him more options, you added, "And if you dont wanna talk to someone else, Rhodey, Bruce, thats ok too, but something is wrong and-"

"Nightmares," he blurted out.

"Nightmares." You gulped. "Ok." You rubbed his arms. "You wanna talk about or" -you pursed your lips- "what about can I do anything?"

He ducked his head, avoiding your gaze. "I, uh..." he startled to mumble and pulled away from your grasp. He sat down by one of his benches and leaned against his thighs. "My nightmares are about you." He finally looked up at you, and you could see tears in his eyes. "You die."

...

That was not what you were expecting. Still, you immediately took your place next to him. Your fingers gently lifted his chin so he could look at you. "Hey, Im right here." You smiled and wiped the stray tear on his cheek. "And Im not leaving."

"Im dangerous. You know that right?" He shook his head. "I couldnt protect Yinsen. Or Phil. The people in Sokovia, the ones we lost in New York-"

"And what about the people you saved?" You smiled. "Tony, you save people too. And if i ever were in trouble, I wouldnt place my money on a god with a hammer or an agency I dont trust. Id place all my bets on you."

"What if I-"

"No what if's." You laughed. "I love you, and even if I get cancer and die tomorrow or if we die of old age in a hundred years, I'd just be grateful that I spent as many days as I could with you."

He scoffed. "Even if Iron Man picks you up from work?"

"Yes." You laughed. "Although, Id rather it be because you weren literally worried sick about me." You perked up. "Plus! Cap's been giving me lessons. I think i can take down a common mugger if I wanted to."

"Really? Well, maybe you can be my new sparring partner. Banner's too good."

You laughed and kissed him. "Next time, please tell me."

"Of course."

It’s Smutty Saturday! Send me some headcanon prompts!

[kaori-flowers]

Hiiiii this is PART 2 so if you haven't read part one then im sorry. It's on my profile. Anyways it's 2:14 AM and im really tired. Idk how well this was executed but yeah enjoy! Maybe?

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Wilbur woke up to the sound of a low snarl, too close to comfort. He was still sitting next to Fundy who was curled up under a tree. He had previously cried himself to sleep, after losing the rest of the people he thought cared. Wilbur stood up quickly and got in front of Fundy, despite being a ghost.

"Don't hurt him! He's just lost everything. Please. Please don't hurt him!"

Wilbur begged quickly, remaining in front of Fundy despite being a ghost. A literal ghost. Technoblade snarled at Wilbur and shoved him to the side, knocking him down. Techoblade had constant postions and was the only one that could actually touch Wilbur. Wilbur couldn't touch him, but Technoblade had no problem with physical connection. Wilbur fell onto the ground and looked up at Technoblade worriedly.

"Please don-"

"Shut up."

Technoblade grabbed Fundy by the arms and gently slung him over his shoulder. Fundy was too passed out from exhausted crying to wake up and notice. Wilbur got up quickly and followed him as Technoblade walked through the forest. He held Fundy over his shoulder, and walked silently with an occasional growl or snort. Technoblade wasn't a fan of kids. EVER. He actually despised them because he didn't know how to handle them or take care of them. Kids needed caution and constant careful care. Technoblade didn't understand how to do that or handle kids really. They made him uncomfortable and stressed.

"Where are you taking him? What are you doing? Technoblade answer me!"

Wilbur panicked knowing he was unable to do anything to protect his son. He wasn't sure what his brother had planned, and was uneasy with Fundy in his arms. They were amazing and extremely close when they were kids, but as they became adults they grew apart. Far and slow. Wilbur barely seen or spoke to Technoblade when he was still alive and old. They both moved off and onto different things, away from each other. Technoblade was a whole different person than the one Wilbur remembered. He had no clue what was going to happen and it made him insanely afraid.

"Technoblade please!"

Wilbur said desperately, still following as close as he could. Technoblade ignore him as he continued walking through the forest. Time passed slowly as Technoblade continued through the forest with Fundy hanging over his shoulder. Wilbur didn't let them leave his sight at any second, constantly following them, despite not knowing where he was going. As time passed the sky grew darker slowly, and snow began to fall rather quickly. It didn't stick at first, but soon it began piling up and up. Technonlade trudged through the snow, his pace being forcefully slowed by the weight of it. Fundy's shivering annoyed Techno enough that he carried him under his large cloak. The warmth of Techno soon warmed Fundy real quick. It felt nice and comfortable to him.

"Thank you. If there's anything I can do I-"

Technoblade cut Wilbur off with a snort or a growl. Wilbur wasn't sure which one it actually was, but chose to stay quiet. Technoblade finally got to the castle he had hidden in the side of the mountain and stopped. He put his code in and the doors opened slowly, letting a gust of heat fly out. Wilbur followed him in and even waited patiently for Technoblade to lock the front doors. Wilbur figured it would be no use to try and ask more questions because Techno hasn't answered any of the others he's already asked. He kept close to Fundy though, watching him intently like he was gonna disappear any second.

"Techno, why are you-"

"What happened?!"

"Is he alright?"

"Did anyone see you?"

"Where was he?"

"How did you find him?"

Wilbur was once again cut off from speaking, and he gave up on trying again. Technoblade was surrounded quickly by those who inhabited the castle with him. He stopped walking and looked down at the others and growled. His growl was loud and and heart wrenching. It made the others move out of the way quickly, and go silent. Technoblade walked past them, still cradling Fundy under his cloak. He walked into his own room and set Fundy on his own bed, making his dogs look at him in confusion. He put his finger to his lips and waved at the door of the room. The dogs sat next to the bed and faced the door in a protective manner.

"What are you doing with him Techno?"

Wilbur sat on the bed next to Fundy who was still fast asleep. Technoblade turned the room's light off and snorted at Wilbur's question. He took his cape off and hung it up on the nail that was in his wall. He sat on the edge of the bed and grumbled to himself.

Technoblade felt a such strong feeling of Pity for Fundy. He saw the whole thing go down between him and Dream. It wasn't hard to tell how broken Fundy was now, and Techno felt the hugest feeling of pity and guilt. He partially blamed himself, because maybe if he was in Fundy's life then he wouldn't have turned out this way. Maybe if Wilbur was an actual dad to Fundy he wouldn't have ended up here. Techno wasn't sure what he was gonna do with him now, but he couldn't bring himself to leave him. He just went through a divorce and he has no one to turn to so he's alone. Technoblade knew by logic and by proof that him and Phil were the only family he had left alive. It made sense to bring him to the castle for protection. But how the fuck was he supposed to look after a child? He's never done that before and the thought of it made him uncomfortable.

"Brother, thank you."

Technoblade turned his head and looked at Fundy who was still asleep. He rubbed his head gently and growled a little at the thought of him taking care of a child alone. He then looked at Wilbur who was staring at Fundy with a face full of pain and regret. Techno looked back at Fundy and sighed. He could do this.... right? RIGHT?!?!

[switchdnp]

Joystick

Summary: Literally just Phil sitting on Dan’s face while he plays Fortnite. I didn’t think I’d have to write this but thanks to Phil’s nudity, and to Dan exposing him, I think it’s necessary

Word count: 1612

Warnings: rimming, dirty talk, a teensy bit of humiliation maybe, even teensier bit of overstim, blowjobs, horrendously sappy ending

A/n: I know the title is shit and makes no sense bc dicks aren’t even the prime focus of this smut, but I just think they’re neat (and im bad with titles)

“Y’know, you’re not supposed to get so invested in this game that you completely forget about paying attention to your boyfriend.” Dan teased, he was curled up on the couch beside Phil, watching him flick and press the buttons on his controller almost frantically, determined to win this time.

“I mean, seriously, you’re so into this you can’t even bother wearing clothes.” He continued, watching as Phil’s focus slowly started to deteriorate. He was biting his lip to keep himself from laughing, the smile creeping on his face a testament to the fact that not even a game could keep Phil’s attention away from Dan.

“Shut up,” He giggled, even as his cheeks flushed when Dan made a point of wiggling his eyebrows and looking down, eyeing the obvious bulge—soft, but still noticeable, thanks to Phil’s considerable size—under the fluffy blanket Phil had used to retain what little modesty he had left. “you’re a jerk.”

“Oh I’m the jerk now, am I? I would think you’re being the rude one here, you can’t even take your eyes off the screen.” Dan chastised, smirking as he watched the flush on Phil’s cheeks spread down his neck and to the tips of his ears. He was so easily flustered. Even a little bit of banter would leave him blushing and embarrassed in a nice way, the nicest way that Phil could imagine. It makes his stomach flutter and heart race, and he’s never thought he could enjoy being teased as much as he does when Dan does it.

Still, he pretends to be irritated in the fond, loving way he knows Dan is so familiar with and will do anything to get out of Phil, betraying the now full-blown bright smile on his face. “You’re too mean.” He says, and it just makes Dan laugh even harder, even cheekier. He’s too proud of himself. Phil loves it.

“And you’re a little cocktease.” Dan retorts, making Phil nearly choke on air. Eight years together, and he still manages to take Phil by surprise with that ever so filthy mouth.

“Dan,” is all Phil has to offer in response, beyond flustered at this point.

“Well it’s true, isn’t it?” Dan says, shuffling closer to Phil as he speaks. He can feel how warm he is, how much he’s flushed all over now, and it makes Dan’s heart swell with something in between love and a sense of accomplishment. “You just want my eyes on you all the time. Want me giving you all my attention, don’t you?”

Phil pouts, but he knows Dan’s right. He won’t deny how much he adores getting Dan focused on him and only him. Distracted from work or editing with how much he loves Phil, how much he wants Phil.

Phil realizes he’s half-hard just from thinking about it, and that shouldn’t surprise him—they’re both far too easily riled up for their age—but somehow it just drives home Dan’s point in the perfect way, proves everything he says is right. It’s just a little humiliating, and Phil loves it.

Dan notices, of course he does, and he doesn’t spare a second before groping over Phil’s cock under the blanket, clutching and running his fingers along the outline. Phil squirms, but he doesn’t shy away from it, hands gripping the PS4 controller tighter. Dan, once again, can’t help but notice how Phil still hasn’t given up trying to play, and it makes him laugh out loud.

“Are you seriously playing Fortnite while I’m jerking you off?” He chuckled, fingers now having migrated to the head of Phil’s cock, toying absentmindedly, and thumb rubbing his slit through the thin blanket.

“Hey, you’re not really doing anything yet!” Phil insisted, though Dan was definitely doing something to him, considering how he was already fully hard, leaking at the tip. Honestly, no 31 year old man should have to suffer being as horny as he is. Wasn’t his sex drive supposed to have dwindled down by now?

“Is that a challenge?” Dan asked, sliding his hand under the blanket now. He hadn’t fully wrapped around Phil yet, choosing instead to continue teasing, rubbing his palm over the head and watching as Phil’s hips twitched with it.

“Maybe. What do you have in mind?”

“I could ride you, or finger you open.” Dan suggested, earning an embarrassed whine from Phil. He was always so surprised with how Dan could just say things like that with no trouble, no filter. No matter how familiar he is with it by now. “Or you could ride me, fuck yourself on my cock as you play.”

Phil gasped when Dan accompanied those words with finally, finally stroking his cock. His hips stuttered, jolting up and doing their best to match Dan’s fast, unforgiving pace.

“Too much work, don’t wanna have to shower afterwards.” Phil said, resisting the urge to let his eyes flutter shut and melt into the pleasure, melt into Dan.

“Well, how about you ride my face then? Can’t cum in you that way.”

Phil shivered, and Dan didn’t even need a vocal answer to know that was what he wanted. It took a bit of shuffling, repositioning, and a whole lot of Dan reassuring Phil that no, he wouldn’t crush him, or suffocate him to death. Dan stroked Phil’s thighs reassuringly as he got into position, gently settling himself down. Dan pulled him the rest of the way, eagerly licking over Phil’s rim, and priding himself on the surprised squeal Phil let out.

Dan didn’t let up then, burying his face between Phil’s cheeks, and flicking his tongue in and out, alternating between teasing and overwhelming his boyfriend. Phil was already shaking on top of him, the controller falling from his hands—and narrowly avoiding landing on Dan’s head—as he started to rut down against Dan’s tongue.

“F-fuck, ‘s so good, too good. You always make me feel so good, Dan.” Phil whimpered, scrabbling uselessly for the remote. Dan was thrusting in and out, fucking him with his tongue, and Phil could barely gather himself enough to even reach the abandoned controller. Dan muttered something muffled, and Phil pulled off for a moment to let him speak, giving him enough time to get himself together and grab the remote.

“What’d you say?”

Dan had the audacity to smirk. “You just taste so good, baby.”

Phil lost it, keening and letting Dan tug him back down again, riding his face without any hesitation, any shame. He tried keeping his focus on the tv screen, tried to avoid the other more aggressive players that were all too happy to unknowingly take advantage of the impaired state Phil was in. But with Dan’s tongue licking him open, stretching Phil without even using his fingers, giving it his all until there was spit running down Phil’s thighs and his cock was positively dripping—it was almost impossible.

Phil could feel the knot in his stomach growing tighter, his blood running hot and his heart beating too fast as he raced closer and closer to his release. He didn’t want to cum yet, wanted to stay like this as long as he could, with Dan taking care of him and enjoying everything he did, enjoying giving Phil pleasure. He wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock, squeezing tight.

Dan must have had different plans, however, because he slapped Phil’s hand off his dick, jerking quick and fast. Phil whined, but let Dan do as he pleased, finally dropping the controller for real, and letting himself go with the overwhelming stimulation. Dan’s giving him everything he wants and more, hands on his hips now, guiding Phil when he grinds down. He manages to slip a finger in beside his tongue, not giving Phil a second to adjust before thrusting in and out easily. It’s too much too fast and Phil fucking loves it, sobs himself hoarse as it sends him over the edge.

Dan works him through his orgasm, not stopping until Phil’s pulling away and whimpering from the overstimulation. Phil, as gracefully as he can manage in his fucked-out state, rolls off of Dan and back onto the couch. He doesn’t waste a second before pulling Dan’s cock out of his sweats, wrapping his lips around the tip and going down all the way in one quick bob, taking him as deep as he can without gagging. Dan doesn’t need much, he’s been turned on since he got his tongue inside Phil. It only takes a few minutes before he’s cumming down Phil’s throat, chuckling when his boyfriend pops up with a self-satisfied smirk.

He shuffles onto his stomach and rests his head in Dan’s lap, murmuring something about how Dan owes him lots of cuddles and affection since he made him lose the game. Dan’s more than happy to oblige, running his fingers through Phil’s hair, and even daring to chance a poke to his nose. They spend the rest of the afternoon like that, Dan picking up the remote and trying to play himself, with Phil drifting off comfortably, occasionally scolding Dan with a too-cheeky smile on his face whenever he does something wrong. It’s uneventful, but peaceful, and neither would want it any other way.

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