#The start of this ask also threw me because it's phrased like there was context

[kevinsdsy]

hi pookie if you have dicking around time i would love for you to drop some nabil hcs i miss that guy

AHHHHH THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE TALKING MY SHIT ABOUT MY HEADCANONS AND NABIL MAHMOUD IS MY BABY-- this is a few days late tho because #busylife BUT LETS DO THIS!!!!

where to start? hmm. okay like in my mind nabil is really energetic, but in a chill and quiet way? idk if that makes sense. he isn't necessarily loud, but he does always have something to say and there's always a joke ready on his tongue.

this man has such random lore. like he knows basically everyone.

also has a lot to do with the fact he doesn't say no to hanging out like ever. oh you're bored and want to drive around? let's do it! you want to get coffee? just let me grab my shoes. oh you just want to leave the dorms and have no idea what to do? we'll figure something out on our way.

and not just with people on his team. it's also people from his classes. friends of his friends. people from other majors. just basically anyone he has ever met.

this also lead to him staying up for three days straight with derek thompson btw (to me they match each other's freak okay)

this guy doesn't go to most of his classes by the way, but he always passes his exams with flying colors (also has a lot to do with the fact he does not respect a good sleep schedule and just pulls all nighters when he thinks he needs them).

he skips so many classes to hang out with tony <333 and tony loves spending time with him so much he pretends like he doesn't have nabil's schedule memorised and isn't aware that nabil is supposed to be following his classes instead.

both tony and nabil are spider-man obsessed and they have comic dates where they go buy new comics together or hang out to read them. they're losers your honour <333

his brain works in mysterious ways. this guy is always using arabic phrases and words in his sentences and most of the time he doesn't even realize it or just assumes everyone on the team has spent so much time with him that they know what he means.

like if someone fouls him during games or something happens during practices he goes "bro what the fuck was that?! that was haram!" (not allowed in islam). it doesn't even make sense in the context, because of course it isn't even haram he's just a silly guy.

nabil is a MAJOR football (soccer) fan. he actually barely watches exy games meanwhile he catches every barça and PSG game and has crazy ball knowledge.

ever since jean joins the team and he gets to know jean better he always takes a piss at the french language (we gotta do it for our ancestors).

his french isn't the best, but he does know a few phrases here and there and likes showing off in front of jean (jean is not impressed btw)

he also listens a lot to french rap (doesn't every north african guy?) and rai (algerian folk music). i actually need to make him a playlist now that I mention it.

hmm what else? idk. i wanted to go into his ramadan lore since it's almost that of the year, but i don't have that much for him.

just know ramadan nights are CRAZY and he comes back with crazy late night stories.

"oh yeah so i was at the mosque and this guy THREW UP right next to me."

"let's go get smoothies?" he texts around midnight to the groupchat. laila obviously joins him since she's participating too, but that leads to cat joining in and obviously tony is already there. cody never sleeps either, so they're up for the late night food/drink run. shawn joins because #fomo but falls asleep in the car. derek is in the passenger seat next to nabil and is drinking and eating as much as nabil is. everyone (but shawn for once) is energetic and having a blast.

midnight is still the normal hour for him. he also does another run @ 4am. once again cody joins him and this time lucas is there too. laila is responsible enough to just eat and drink something quickly at home before praying and heading back to bed again.

then it's the next day and nabil is #dead since he didn't respect himself enough to get a normal amount of sleep nor can he get any energy drinks (which he normally drinks)

[k-s-morgan]

hi ks!! hope you're doing well. i absolutely love your hannibal meta posts, and while i have no idea if youd still be open to any asks, id love to hear your insight on something im stuck on (im also rly new to analysis so pls forgive me for any dumb comments!!) tw sa mention

in the hannibal s3e13 script when dolarhyde attacks will in his hotel room, there are a few lines with notable word choice:

"postcoital" "terrible lover's embrace" it threw me off a bit bc i didnt expect such specific wording. is this scene an allegory for sa? i wasnt sure if this was just the norm for hannibal scripts or if this was something noteworthy.

as far as i understand dolarhyde is now terribly jealous of will for being the subject of hannibal's love and angry at being emasculated. lots of ppl also say dolarhyde wanted to "change" hannibal by ruining/"defiling" the one thing (will) he truly cared for.

everything seems to makes sense, but i dont know if im making something out of nothing, or oversimplifying it. do you have a take on this considering your opinions on the francis hannibal and will dynamic? id love to hear anything you have to offer!! ty for all you do <3

Another ask: hello!! so sorry to bother again, happy late birthday!! i was judt wondering if you got my ask about the will + francis scene in the script---totally ok if you dont wanna answer it! i would just love to discuss it because i couldnt find much discussion for it when i tried searching tumblr/google

--------------

Hey! Thank you so much for your ask and for your wishes <3

So, 'Hannibal' scripts are indeed famous for having rich sexual imagery. In this specific case, there is also context. I don't know if you've seen this already, but there is indeed evidence that Francis had sexual interest in Hannibal (apart from other kinds of fascination). From his notes made for the show, this particular bit (transcribed by Bentley):

“I think we are so similar and could be the best partners that history could have seen. Let me show you what we could do together doctor. I am so eager to please you to be your friend your lover perhaps. Why not I think we could love each other doctor. Don’t you want to have someone that is the one in your life. That special someone that is always here for you. It is me doctor? I am!”

Here’s an interesting part about Will as addressed to Hannibal:

“He faces you, he traps you but in the end he is broken! Do you think he understands you? Do you think he really appreciates your magical power? Does he realize how special and unique and wonderful you are doctor. I have my doubts, I don’t think he really sings the wonder, the salvation that can come from following you, knowing you. ”

That’s extremely interesting because it gives a much deeper insight into Francis and his motivations. For one thing, one of the phrases that always bothered me in the show is his description of Will - namely, the mention that he’s “not very handsome”. It’s from the books, so it might apply there, but Will in the show is handsome, very much so. Francis seems to resent him.

After Hannibal basically helps Will get to Francis in the museum & some more events later, Francis grows furious because he realizes that Will is the central player while he, Francis, is a pawn. Hannibal doesn't care about him the way he thought.

Francis’ attitude to Will undergoes some changes: at the start, he touched his photo, which denotes his interest. He threw him away like a toy in the museum, and while it’s just an interpretation, to me, he looked pissed at Will in particular. When he tells Hannibal later that Will interests him, it can’t be just from their museum encounter. Francis clearly knows a lot about Will (likely from Freddie’s articles), but he doesn’t like him because he thinks him unworthy of Hannibal, which his notes prove. But in TWOTL, in the moment you mentioned, Francis is very unsure about Will. He is no longer certain what to think of him (since he thinks Hannibal has chosen him). He automatically treats him with some sort of respect because of who he is to Hannibal and what he must represent.

I think this explains how they chose to describe the scene of the attack. It's not necessarily a sexual assault, but violence frequently has erotic undertones in 'Hannibal.' Here, Francis might be trying to look at Will like Hannibal, like a lover, hoping to understand what he sees in him. He's respectful and almost reverent at some points after Will regains consciousness. In his eyes in these moments, Will is Hannibal's partner, the man who has what Francis wanted.

Notably, this respect turns into fury in the finale, where he attacks Will viciously. Interesting that he goes to ruin his face first and foremost. Considering his own insecurity, it says a lot about his many-layered jealousy, from deep to a superficial physical level.

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form: Follow Up to Ungendering Religious Words

Very interesting. Thank you for your answer regarding religous words. I have to ask this because I find it quite curious you immediately went to Catholicism and Western culture and only that. Why? Solely because of word origin and Greeks were mostly Catholic?

It is totally valid as I just found out that 'monk' is also used in Catholicism as well, but until now, I never heard that 'monk' was used outside of East Asian religions. For Western religions I always heard words more like 'priest' even if that doesn't specifically describe the hermit types, or even 'eremite' a couple times. So that really threw me.

My fictional religion definitely takes a lot more inspiration from East Asian religions. I am Asian American and Buddhist but I grew up in Asia since my teens. I do have some relatives who are Christian-no denomination-but they never associated monk with anything closer to Christianity either. That is one reason thus I very much landed on the word 'monk' as I wanted context to land in this direction.

A made up word is great, but it also wouldn't land anywhere in context and I don't want to immediately dump paragraphs of world-building describing the religion. Or maybe if I do write it well, people can pick that up from other brief context, whereas you had absolutely none. Perhaps that's a writing issue rather than world-building though...?

Feral: Indeed, monastic orders are pretty common the world over. And if you’re writing in English and want to refer to your monastic clergy in English, Tex’s etymology lesson and how the word has developed in English and Licorice’s advice on finding other English words is true and relevant regardless of the inspiration. 

While most folks, especially fantasy fans, from Western countries will be more or less equally exposed to “monk” referring to Western and Eastern traditions, nearly anyone in the English speaking world without a personal cultural tie to Eastern traditions will default to “nun” in reference to Catholicism or Anglicism (or maybe Orthodoxy) depending on where they live if there isn’t any preface or context, eg. “Buddhist nun.” This is very important cultural context for you to be aware of if you’re trying to have the broadest possible English-speaking audience. 

Now you don’t mention your ethnicity or where in Asia you live, so forgive me if I use the wrong language, but hopefully, you’ll still understand my meaning. If you’re not drawing inspiration from Christian/Western monks and nuns and instead are drawing inspiration from bhikkhu and bhikkhuni, you could use the term most appropriate to your world’s specific cultural inspiration. I certainly couldn’t give you advice on ungendering the terms, but it might be a good starting place - either use the term that’s most correct to the religion you are worldbuilding or conlang a name using the real world term as a jumping off point.

Using an unfamiliar term absolutely does not need paragraphs of explanation - a single dashed off phrase like this one - or just context will tell your audience what they need to know when you introduce the word. As you guessed, though, that is a question of writing and not of worldbuilding.

Ebonwing: If you don’t want to make up an entirely new word, then you could just repurpose an existing gender-neutral English word that doesn’t ordinarily have religious connotations and show through context that that’s what it means here. For example, if you wanted to name your monk/nun equivalent Servants, you could introduce the Servants tending to a temple or doing other things that fit into your religion.

[neckromancy]

New favourite commission alert...................

No regrets having paid this much; it was an artist who draws Astarion more often and doesn't mind drawing people with him (I applaud them, I couldn't).

Context: I have this joke between me and a co-op friend where I keep saying stuff like "oh let me soap him" and similar phrases where I am basically announcing that I am using the soap bar item to clean the blood off of him, because melee characters get covered in blood in the game.

So I asked the artist (cand_113 on Instagram) if they were familiar with the Witcher series on Netflix and proposed a scene similar, but with me and Astarion... which is kinda funny if you realize I am replacing the position of my other f/o, Jaskier (including making the outfit have similarities to him).

And just... gosh. They are so talented. Sorry for the watermark, I threw that on there myself, I want to keep the full thing to myself...

On the bottom right are the soap bar and sponge tray as existing in BG3, because I really wanted the reference in. I really like how this turned out, it really reminds me of the scene in The Witcher, they did a good job. It all started because I have stupid catch phrases in my co-ops. I always weirdly announce that I will soap 'my man' (...yes I say this, shut up) and I also very often announce that I will talk to him to see if he has new dialogue; I mostly announce that because co-op partners might suddenly have dialogue in their screen and I do not want to jumpscare them. My friend even said I should put it in my shirt ("Even met Astarion praten" -> "Talking to Astarion for a sec," it does not quite sound the same in English as it does in Dutch).

Either way, I was so happy with this one, I wanted to show it. I also have some other commissions.

I'm gonna be real with you guys. I've had several f/o's yeah..? But never have I been this... where it's like... a hyperfixation of some sort? It's weird. It's new. I'm oddly... obsessed? I don't know. It's just very different from any previous f/o. Of course I was always super duper into them, but this is just... different. I cannot explain it. Maybe I can put it into words when it's not 1 AM.

[radiosandrecordings]

like. logically I know Jon was just being mean when he said "I didn't want him to get chopped up but someone had to" because of how guilty he always feels about people getting hurt because of him. but on the other hand I can't understand his logic because after all he did send Martin to look into Angela knowing (or at least being fairly sure) that the statement was real because he's always suspected the statements that only go on tape are real. I always wonder if I missed something listening to these episodes because it seems really weird to me??

I think there's two stances you can take here and mostly I think of the first which is like... This was an early episode line where I don't think they'd fleshed out Jon, Martin, their relationship or the storyline as a whole yet enough to know quite what this would implicate later down the line. So it's one when you come across it you can kind of squint at because it's just a little messy and you can tell it would be changed in "TMA Draft #2"

But, it being a part of the text it can be analysed as a part of the broader whole, and I think from the perspective it could play a bit into Jon's sense of gallows humour? It's not so much that he uses jokes to deflect dark things, it's just that he for some reason has the worst timing for his comedy and I adore that, always managing to crack a joke at the worst possible moment, "Third degree maybe?" my beloved. Could be a case of that, where he's trying to mask how anxious he genuinely is by making this joke, and honestly being a little bit of a bully by punching down. It's the kind of comment I don't think the Jon we know in later seasons would make but it's the one we get then, whether that be up to genuine character development or just his characterisation being figured out from a writing standpoint.

Also asked @pocketsizedquasar for their thoughts and they gave this interpretation!

"I mean even if he internally believes that the statements are real, he has yet to admit that to anyone and honestly probably yet to even admit that to himself. And he’s still on tape, which even this early on we know he thinks means something is Watching him/he needs to Perform for that something. So for me it’s just like… Jon making a genuinely offhand (but still shitty) joke about a person he doesn’t like. I don’t think he believes (or wants to admit he believes) Martin is in any genuine danger; he’s just joking in the manner that someone who thinks all this is a load of bullshit WOULD joke abt it, either bc he genuinely thinks at this point it’s a load of bullshit (bc repressing his own belief in the supernatural) or because he’s performing as a person who thinks it is"

Which makes a lot of sense because it's utilising his shitty humour but also the amount of false face he puts on in S1 where you can never quite be sure what's Jon and what's The Head Archivist Of The Magnus Institute, which is who Jon thinks he should be and seems to perform as on tape until he lets the pretence drop for the first time in 39.

I think another interpretation, which is a little flimsy but still valid I think, is that because he says here he did deliberately choose Martin, who he thought of at the time as incompetent, he was trying to protect the assistants? He needed the case followed up, but if he did truly believe in it, or even consider the possibility, it would make sense that if he needed someone to track down a dangerous old lady he would deliberately choose the person least likely to actually find her and thus put themselves in danger, rather than Tim or Sasha who he sees as more competent and thus could genuinely stumble upon this old murder lady. But again that's a stretch, but one I find interesting.

[kimistorm]

Did you just ask me out on live stream? [Yang Jeongin]

Fandom: Stray Kids

Pairing: [Jeongin x GN! Reader]

Warnings: none!

Requested by: @stupendousfriendcalzonehands Thanks for the request! Let me know what you think~

Prompts: "After how many ½ inches does it become a date?” “Did you say you knew how to do this?”

It started as a bet. You and Jeongin couldn’t keep up a weekly podcast for more than 2 months. The way Han phrased it, you could just do it on YouTube and in your dorms, but no, you were fueled by spite and somehow convinced your professor to allow you, Jeongin, and Hyunjin to live stream from the university’s audio studio.

Two months later and you had a small following, so you just continued. Much to Han’s shock.

“On to the final part of the show,” you spoke into your microphone as you scrolled through the outline, “answering your questions!” you let out a snort, “I don’t know why you guys keep asking us for advice. The other day Jeongin tried to joust Seungmin with an icicle.”

“And I won!” your partner declared gleefully with a wide grin.

“Mmm, debatable,” you teased, much to Jeongin’s chagrin, effectively wiping his face of the smile. “He only claims he won because Seungmin’s icicle broke first.”

“Yeah! That’s how it works!”

“But he hit you with it before you broke it!”

Jeongin threw his arms up in frustration, “this isn’t fencing!” From beyond the glass, you saw Hyunjin shaking his head in tired resignation as the two of you deviated from the script yet again and couldn’t help but giggle. “Deal with it Hyunjin,” Jeongin whispered into the mic when he saw what you were giggling at, causing your laughs to escalate. Hyunjin glared at the two of you and Jeongin put his hands up in surrender, “okay okay, actually onto the questions now. Which were chosen by our dear Hyunjin," he mocked with faux sincerity before an evil grin grew on his face, "so if this becomes boring blame him.”

Hyunjin looked like he was going to enter the recording booth and whack the two of you over the head with the rolled-up outline in his hand as his mouth was open in a muffled yell.

“Before Hyunjin takes us off the air, let’s answer some of your questions!” for the third time you tried to continue with what you were supposed to be doing. “This one’s from John. Hey (y/n) and Jeongin! There’s someone who I really like and I want to ask them out on a date. We’ve been getting dinner together, but I don’t think either of us really classify it as a date. It’s mostly been under the pretense of ‘I’m starving, you’re here, let’s go.’ How can I make that leap into asking them on a date versus a friendly get-together? Thanks for the help!” there was a pause of silence as the two of you tried to think of a response, “no offense John, but you’re asking the wrong people. I’ve never been on a date,” you side-eyed Hyunjin for him letting this question pass, “and Jeongin-”

“I’ve been in the same position.”

“What?” you shrieked and the three of you winced as you heard your loud voice through your headphones.

“Warning for headphone users.” Your dark-haired friend mumbled under his breath and took off his headphones to rub at his ear.

“Hold up, when was this?” you looked at Jeongin in bewilderment. The two of you were best friends, and this was a new development for you. You had never heard of Jeongin crushing after someone. Granted, you had only known each other for about 3 years, since the two of you started university, but with the number of late-night ramblings and how often the two of you are together, it could’ve come up.

Jeongin merely shrugged. “I totally understand you, John, it’s difficult, but here’s what I did.” You nodded your head to allow Jeongin to continue, seeing as you had no way to help. “It’s hard to tell from your letter, but how close are the two of you? I got closer and closer to the person who I liked. It developed from ‘hey you’re in the same class as me,’ to something more. It became late-night shenanigans, staying up late talking about anything and everything, watching movies, and of course, doing homework together. Though, to be real, we suck at doing homework when we’re together.” He added with a laugh.

There was a pleasant smile on his face as he reminisced this person, he looked genuinely at peace, and it surprised you. Whoever this person was, they made a big impact on Jeongin’s life. It was strange that you never heard of this person, besides, Jeongin seemed to have had some closure with this person. Did it end badly? Is that why you never knew of this enigma? But he looked so happy? It kind of hurt. This person was so pivotal in his life and yet he hid it all from you. Maybe you weren’t as close as you thought. “Half inch by half inch, we became closer.” There was a definitive look on his face as he gave a nod, seemingly happy with his answer.

You, on the other hand, were a little more unconvinced. That couldn’t be the end of the story. Maybe you were a little more miffed because this was news to you, or maybe the reporter in you was finally coming out and wanting to know the conclusion. Either way, there was a bit of an edge to your voice as you asked, “okay, so after how many ½ inches does it become a date?” you turned the conversation back to John’s question, “John seems to already be friends, he just wants to take this person on a date.”

Jeongin let out a scoff and rolled his eyes at you, “it’s not linear.”

There was a pause and when it seemed like Jeongin wasn’t going to speak up again, you continued your dubious proddings, “did you say you knew how to do this?” there was an offended shout from Jeongin and he kicked you from under the table to elicit a startled yelp from you.

“I hope none of our listeners are using headphones.” Jeongin shook his head in empathy, “because my ears burn.”

“You’re the one who kicked me!”

Jeongin childishly stuck his tongue out at you, “things will work out John. I’m sure the more you get to know them the more things will fall into place.” He reassured, though you weren’t feeling reassured, and you figured John probably wasn’t either.

“Did you ever ask your person out on a date?” you asked, still wanting to get closure for your story, seeing as Jeongin wasn’t keen on providing it.

His face reddened and you resisted the urge to crow teasingly at him, “not yet.” He mumbled into the mic, but it was loud enough for you to hear with your headphones.

You leaned back in your chair to get away from the mic and let out a screech, “you don’t know what you’re talking about either!”

“You were just going to write off John’s letter! I couldn’t let you do that.” He protested with his face still red and his gaze averted.

“Ask them out John!” you took matters into your hands seeing as Jeongin was clumsier with love than you were. Hyunjin sure picked the wrong question this time. “There’s no time like the present. Don’t twist one of your normal dinners into a date, specifically plan it. Ask them if they want to go on a date at some other time than what the two of you normally do. The worst that could happen is they say no.”

“That’s mortifying! I could never do that!” the aghast look on Jeongin’s face did little to make you feel guilty.

“That’s why you never asked out your person on a date.” The hurt look that fell on his face did though. “Oh no, I’m sorry.” The chaotic atmosphere that filled the recording booth stilled and you went over to hug your friend, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No, you’re right.” He continued in a quiet voice, “I guess I got too scared to do anything, so I decided things were perfectly all right the way they were, even if I wish it was different.”

You smoothed his hair down absentmindedly from your awkward standing position and his sitting position, “relationships are scary. I think you, and John, are valid to be scared.”

“But you’re also right, there’s no time like the present.”

You let out a quiet laugh, “and in the end, neither of us was able to help John.”

“Maybe this will,” you pulled away from Jeongin in confusion so you could look at his face. There was a nervous look settled on his face and he refused to look anywhere close to you, “do you want to go on a date later?”

Your jaw probably dropped comically as you looked at him in bewilderment, “wait-are you-did you-?” did he ask what you think he did? Did he just ask you out? On-air? Was that buzzing in your ear from your headphones? Was this a setup from Hyunjin? Was Jeongin John? Somehow, even as your mind was racing a hundred miles a minute, the terrified look on Jeongin’s face was able to clear through the mess and register in your mind. You took a deep breath to stop your word vomit, “yeah.” You smiled, “let’s go on a date. Maybe a dinner date?”

The terrified look immediately washed away and was replaced with a relieved look, “that sounds great.”

Hyunjin’s yelling was so loud that the two of you could faintly hear him screaming, “finally!”

Masterlist

Context bonus: "After how many ½ inches does it become a date?” One of my female friends was trying to describe to one of my male friends dating, but none of us know how to date.

[lunarfly]

Harmione Essay: the most underrated H/Hr hug

The Harry Potter movies did a great job at showing one part of book Harmione - they share lots of hugs. But this seemed to shift the attention from book Harmione hugs to movie Harmione hugs. And the situation is worse than you’d think. Many Harmione fans not only underrate some book hugs, but most don’t even know the existence of them. I’m going to be discussing the most underrated hug shared between Harry and Hermione. The one that happens in HBP after Dumbledore’s death. Here’s the hug I’m talking about:

They [Harry and Ginny] had reached the hospital wing. Pushing open the doors, Harry saw Neville lying, apparently asleep, in a bed near the door. Ron, Hermione, Luna, Tonks, and Lupin were gathered around another bed near the far end of the ward. At the sound of the doors opening, they all looked up. Hermione ran to Harry and hugged him; Lupin moved forward too, looking anxious. 

In this scene, Harry had just seen Dumbledore’s dead body and Ginny was taking him to the hospital wing on McGonagall’s orders. Right as Harry stepped in, he looked around, everyone started looking at him and Hermione jumped in his arms and hugged him. 

At first glance, this may seem like a regular H/Hr moment, just another one of their hugs. It may seem like nothing special, we don’t get a unique description of the hug like we did in OotP, for example, when Hermione “threw herself into a hug that nearly knocked him flat.” So you may think it’s not s big deal at all.

But it is.

We have quite a few things to keep in mind while analyzing this hug, one of them being the phrasing. As I said, this hug doesn’t get a unique description but there’s still one thing to note:

At the sound of the doors opening, they all looked up. Hermione ran to Harry and hugged him; Lupin moved forward too, looking anxious.

Hermione didn’t just wrap her arms around him, she ran to him. She was probably standing at the other side of the room but as she heard the “sound of the doors opening”, she immediately saw Harry and ran up to him just to hug him! It’s such a sweet moment.

That’s not all though. It isn’t only cute, it’s also deep and emotional. To understand this, we’ll just have to take a look at the context of this hug, which gives it most of its depth and beauty. 

Here’s a rather long (sorry!) scene for some context:

Dumbledore turned back to look out of the fiery window; the sun was now a ruby red glare along the horizon. Harry walked quickly from the office and down the spiral staircase. His mind was oddly clear all of a sudden. He knew what to do.

Ron and Hermione were sitting together in the common room when he came back. “What does he want?” Hermione said at once. “Harry, are you okay?” she added anxiously.

“I’m fine,” said Harry shortly, racing past them. He dashed up the stairs and into his dormitory, where he flung open his trunk and pulled out the Marauder’s Map and a pair of balled-up socks. Then he sped back down the stairs and into the common room, skidding to a halt where Ron and Hermione sat, looking stunned.

“I’ve got to be quick,” Harry panted. “Dumbledore thinks I’m getting my Invisibility Cloak. Listen. . . .”

Quickly he told them where he was going and why. He did not pause either for Hermione’s gasps of horror or for Ron’s hasty questions; they could work out the finer details for themselves later.

“. . . so you see what this means?” Harry finished at a gallop. “Dumbledore won’t be here tonight, so Malfoy’s going to have another clear shot at whatever he’s up to. No, listen to me!” he hissed angrily, as both Ron and Hermione showed every sign of interrupting. “I know it was Malfoy celebrating in the Room of Requirement. Here —” He shoved the Marauder’s Map into Hermione’s hands. “You’ve got to watch him and you’ve got to watch Snape too. Use anyone else who you can rustle up from the D.A., Hermione, those contact Galleons will still work, right? Dumbledore says he’s put extra protection in the school, but if Snape’s involved, he’ll know what Dumbledore’s protection is, and how to avoid it — but he won’t be expecting you lot to be on the watch, will he?”

“Harry —” began Hermione, her eyes huge with fear.

“I haven’t got time to argue,” said Harry curtly. “Take this as well —”

He thrust the socks into Ron’s hands.

“Thanks,” said Ron. “Er — why do I need socks?”

“You need what’s wrapped in them, it’s the Felix Felicis. Share it between yourselves and Ginny too. Say good-bye to her for me. I’d better go, Dumbledore’s waiting —”

“No!” said Hermione, as Ron unwrapped the tiny little bottle of golden potion, looking awestruck. “We don’t want it, you take it, who knows what you’re going to be facing?”

“I’ll be fine, I’ll be with Dumbledore,” said Harry. “I want to know you lot are okay. . . . Don’t look like that, Hermione, I’ll see you later. . . .”

And he was off, hurrying back through the portrait hole and toward the entrance hall.

So I’ve highlighted the parts to pay the most attention to.

Basically, Harry rushes into the common room after meeting Dumbledore, Hermione asks him what has happened and she notices that Harry looks worried and is in a rush. She asks him what has happened and she’s anxious because she’s already worried just by seeing the look on his face. Harry answers “shortly” and runs to get the marauders map and Felix Felicis to give them to Hermione and Ron. He explains everything to them quickly, leaving out the details, and tells them what to do with the map and to take the Felix Felicis because he’s sure that Draco has achieved something which means no good. And now he’s off to this dangerous mission out of Hogwarts with Dumbledore where his life could possibly be put in danger! Just imagine how Ron and Hermione feel right now. Their best friend is taking a huge risk and is taking part in fighting the dark arts and he might not even return. They’re both looking “stunned” and Hermione is gasping out of horror! That’s right. Her worries and fears are sky-high. And now, after this short explanation, while Harry is “racing”, “speeding” and “dashing” to do everything in time and he’s going so fast that he’s running out of breath, “panting”, he’s just going to leave without saying proper goodbyes. The fact that this is all happening in such a rush is extremely important and meaningful because Hermione doesn’t even get to say a proper goodbye, she’s so scared and worried that her eyes are “huge with fear”, she doesn’t know what’s going to happen to Harry, whether she’s even going to see him ever again, she’s ready to reject the liquid luck so Harry can be safe, she’s trying to convince him to take the liquid luck, even after Harry says he’ll be fine with Dumbledore. She’s giving him the look of disapproval but before she can say another word and say a proper goodbye, he’s off again, hurrying to meet Dumbledore and his own possible death.

Just imagine how Hermione is feeling right now. And if that isn’t bad enough, Harry’s prediction actually comes true and death eaters start attacking! Ron, Hermione and Ginny barely survive the attack just by luck, literally. And now, when it’s all over and Hermione’s standing in a room in the hospital wing, desperately waiting for news along with the whole Order, Harry comes in. And she completely loses it. She runs to him and hugs him. Now do you understand the emotion in this scene? Both of them nearly died, she was probably going crazy thinking what could’ve happened to him, Harry was thinking and worrying about her too (”How long had they been away? Had Ron, Hermione, and Ginny’s luck run out by now?” “ Would he be responsible, again, for the death of a friend?”) and now they finally see each other and Hermione is probably feeling lightheaded knowing that he’s safe (compare to the DoM scene in OotP) and she hugs him. She just can’t do otherwise. And all of the unsaid “I’m so glad you’re safe” and “I’ve been so worried about you”s are all expressed through a beautiful and emotional embrace.

Now we know how deep this scene truly is. And imagine how beautiful this scene would be on screen. So much lost potential. 

It brings a smile on my face imagining a worried Hermione running all the way across the room and flinging her arms tightly around Harry, hugging him and both of them looking so deeply relieved. Then quickly breaking apart as Lupin approaches “anxiously” and asks what Hermione doesn’t have the courage to ask. 

The continuation of this scene is also nice. It’s Lupin who asks how Harry is, while Hermione stays silent but still stays next to Harry.

Nobody answered. Harry looked over Hermione’s shoulder and saw an unrecognizable face lying on Bill’s pillow, so badly slashed and ripped that he looked grotesque.

This shows they are still standing near each other. 

And  later everyone else seems interested in the conversation about Dumbledore’s death and Snape’s betrayal but Hermione doesn’t say a word. Like she’s still petrified from everything that’s happened and now this happened too. 

Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned.

[...]

Almost against his will he glanced from Ron to Hermione, both of whom looked devastated.

She looks “devastated” and doesn’t say a single word until Harry directly asks her, it almost reminds me of the scene at the hospital when Ron was poisoned.

“So if Ron was watching the Room of Requirement with Ginny and Neville,” said Harry, turning to Hermione, “were you — ?” 

“Outside Snape’s office, yes,” whispered Hermione, her eyes sparkling with tears, “with Luna. We hung around for ages outside it and nothing happened. . . . We didn’t know what was going on upstairs, Ron had taken the map. . . . It was nearly midnight when Professor Flitwick came sprinting down into the dungeons. He was shouting about Death Eaters in the castle, I don’t think he really registered that Luna and I were there at all, he just burst his way into Snape’s office and we heard him saying that Snape had to go back with him and help and then we heard a loud thump and Snape came hurtling out of his room and he saw us and — and —” 

The rest is irrelevant. I just thought I’d mention that Hermione is whispering and she’s almost crying, on top of all of the battles and duels she went through and all the worries and fears she had before seeing Harry alive, now she’s shocked from the news of Dumbledore. This girl is so strong. 

I know I wrote a little more than I should’ve but I just really love this moment. Their care for each other, their worries and their fears, that’s what strengthens their bond. They have the most emotional relationship out of everyone in the series. This hug was truly beautiful and much, much more than just a hug. 

And to end this essay, I thought I’d give you something about hugs (they happen over 5 times between H/Hr in the books) in general:

“We love to feel loved, and we love to feel good. Hugs satisfy both needs. When you touch someone affectionately, sit or stand close to them, gaze into their eyes, or wrap them in a big bear hug, our body responds on all levels: emotionally, cognitively, and physiologically.

Oxytocin — the human love drug — is also released when we hug. This hormone reduces blood pressure and stress hormones. According to Medical News Today, oxytocin ‘contributes to relaxation, trust, and psychological stability.’ Over time, it makes us feel bonded with another person.

Oxytocin provides feelings of pleasure, contentment, happiness, and even euphoria. These feels feel great — and they’re good for you.”

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[tuesdayintheservantshall]

Jimmy has no right to *that* hostile (ie downright homophobic). He already almost threw Thomas out onto the street without a reference; if anyone has a right to be scared it’s Thomas; he’s now aware everyone knows he’s gay and he knows at least one or two of those people(one of them being jimmy) would happily throw him under the bus given the chance. He’s literally never been so vulnerable and there’s no need for jimmy to rub it in

Hey Nonny you’re my first official fandom argument! Or you were when I first drafted this over a week ago lol. Since then I've waded into some drama bc I have poor impulse control. Well you're my first argumentative anon still! Do I get a prize, or do you? Have an, um apple of discord: 🍏And I will have one too: 🍏 (Intended tone: genuinely friendly, although if you are not already aware you should know that in fandom spaces messages like these are generally considered hostile acts. Most people don’t want to argue with strangers about why their faves suck, and especially not in response to tags they made about their overwhelmed shippy feelings. (Although I guess if hypothetically you’re the OP of the post I put the tags on and weren’t comfortable with them being on your post that’s admittedly a tough place to be in. Coming to me with your face on and asking me to remove my reblog or the tags because you’re not comfortable with them runs the risk of me being an asshole or taking something in your phrasing badly and starting a big fight. Uh, the chances of that seem rather remote so I’m gonna leave the tags where they are unless OP comes to me and says “I hadn’t wanted to say anything but actually -”.) Anyway I’m not gonna derail this into a long(er than it is) ramble on preferred ways to discuss disagreements in fandom but I might post something like that at a later date.)

God I use way too many parentheses. Apologies to any with a blacklist for Jimmy (do I still have any of those? not sure), obviously I don’t want to put this in the tags. I shall tag this and any further discourse on the subject with “the storyline that shall not be named”. Let’s get (finally) to it!

So, the first thing I wanna say is: yes, Jimmy makes homophobic comments and that’s bad, both because Thomas being gay is not the reason he assaulted Jimmy and because there’s hypothetically a chance someone who doesn’t already know might figure out Thomas’s sexuality based on Jimmy’s comment(s? There's the one before the rope tug and then I could have sworn there was one other one but I'm blanking on what it actually was.)However a) the moment I was commenting on wasn’t one of the homophobic comments and b) I find it important to distinguish between the specific manner of hostility (sometimes homophobic) and the level of hostility (nasty remarks and making a constant point of distancing himself) and the level is in fact 100% warranted. If you think nasty remarks and pointed distancing are more hostile than a person has a right to be towards the guy who sexually assaulted them, then we have a pretty profound disagreement.

As for your other point, regarding fear: Thomas and Jimmy both have very compelling reasons to be afraid of each other but I have to ask exactly what you think Jimmy is “rubbing in?” He initially tried to retaliate excessively against Thomas, backed down from that, and then discovered that instead of facing a reasonable consequence for assaulting him, such as being fired but with a reference that reflected the fact that this was one very bad mistake rather than a pattern*, Thomas was promoted to a position of direct authority over Jimmy. Although Jimmy was bribed into not making a fuss about this rather than, say, threatened, I think he has nonetheless been given a fairly clear message from his employers that they will back the senior coworker who assaulted him against any potential consequence he might try to bring. From Jimmy’s point of view, which is admittedly blinkered by fear and self interest, Thomas is the one in the secure, powerful position and Jimmy is the one extremely vulnerable.

I don't even just mean from his point of view like, ~emotionally. Genuine question: what would happen if Thomas started being overly touchy-feely again, or did worse than that, and Jimmy went to Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes or Lord Grantham to report it? I really don't know, and neither does Jimmy. Personally, I'm guessing that whether they believed him would probably depend significantly on things like Jimmy’s demeanor, and exactly what words he used, and basically whether he came across as a victim or as a brat trying to get someone in trouble. And which of those things a person seems like has no particular correlation to the facts of what they’re reporting - as we can see from what happened the first time! Like, Jimmy came off as spiteful and nasty and instead of being fired Thomas was promoted. That is actually what happened! The fact that Jimmy's motives were mixed doesn't change the fact of what Thomas did: Jimmy, when evaluating his safety, has access to one really strong datapoint and that’s that last time the majority of his superiors came down on Thomas’s side, either from the beginning or by the end.

Now, it’s true that he’s had a year to observe Thomas’s behavior and make an educated guess that Thomas really is sorry and won’t do it again. We can only speculate as to what extent he may have reached that conclusion and why he has or hasn’t. Some possible reasons why he might not have: trauma blinkers, homophobic and sexist beliefs, sufficiently bad at reading people to not know what clues to even look for, too self-centered to bother thinking about it in those terms... we don’t know. And perhaps he does know perfectly well that Thomas won't do anything like that again and any lingering fear is of cooties or of people mistaking him for gay and him being in the line of fire along with Thomas next time! You can read him that way if you want. You can say “wtf I see no fear of any kind”. It’s a flexible canon and none of these interpretations are actually contradicted by the text. Indeed I happily read other interpretations and when I babbled in those tags it was more "this is the interpretation I am thinking about right now" than intended to assert it as my One True Headcanon that I will not deviate from. But Jimmy definitely has reasons to be afraid, and of more than cooties.

Of course Thomas also has logical and emotional reasons to be afraid of what Jimmy might do, I'm certainly not denying that. (In fact, one of the things I find so compelling about these two is that they both have such strong reasons not to trust each other and they both reach out anyway.) It seems that Thomas’s belief in who Jimmy is as a person supersedes those reasons (“He wouldn’t be so unkind. Not on his own.”) but if Jimmy has a similar belief about who Thomas he keeps it hidden at least until the fair.

P.S. please reconsider the phrase “has the right to be scared” in every context but especially when discussing someone’s reaction to a situation that involved them being sexually assaulted. I offer you the alternative “logical reason to be scared” or "compelling reason" as perhaps capturing what I hope you meant. I think that’s a language choice that really does matter a fair bit.

[weak-for-stuffedronpa]

Ah, well this is my first fic I'm posting here- I'll admit, I was quite hesitant to get Tumblr, but here I am! And I'll admit, I'm a sucker for college AUs in fanfictions. Anyways... Enjoy part 1 of this platonic Kai.to and Kii.bo stuffing fic called Curious Experimentation!

Kii.bo was curious about a strange topic that he's heard Mi.u talk about a few times. He didn't know how his mind wandered and danced to the topic of mind, which was feeding someone food if he was remembering correctly. But he knew his best friend too well, and knew the...interesting context she usually meant these things.

And the context of why this thought occurred was strange, mainly because he was currently studying for an upcoming test in one of his classes in Asian studies. He had originally wanted to be a popstar, but his singing wasn't the best. So it was a lot more practical to study something like this. Nonetheless, it wasn't something that normally came to mind when studying for an upcoming test in one of his classes.

Kai.to was sitting in his college dorm, pondering on things to do. He didn’t have any plans until he had to train with Shui.chi and Ma.ki after their classes and studying, so who should he hang out with? He already hung out with Shui.chi quite a bit, besides, he was pretty sure the shorter boy was busy with Kae.de at the moment. He pondered on his options for a minute before he settled on Kii.bo.

The two didn’t interact often, so it would be a good chance to get to know each other! So that's what he's decided, that's what he'd do. He quickly got up and threw his jacket on, before striding out of his dorm and up to Kii.bo's. He knocked on the door a few times in a loud way, even though it was rather obnoxious. He then stepped back a few paces and waited for the student to answer the door.

The white haired student got distracted from his thoughts by knocking on the door. Wondering who it could possibly be, he got up to answer it. And would be surprised to see who it was once he answered the door. He then answered the door after he turned the knob and saw Kai.to. "Ah? Momota-san?" He didn't expect him to be here, but it wasn't unwelcome as he was planning on wanting to talk to someone to distract him and give his mind a break from studying.

Kai.to flashed the student a grin, placing his hands on his hips. “Hey, Kii.bo!” He said casually as he wasn’t usually the type to use honorifics unlike the other student. “ I hope you don’t mind me barging like this. I didn’t have anything to do today so I thought we could maybe hang out!”

Kii.bo used honorifics if he was very close to someone, but he gave a friendly smile to the aspiring astronaut. "Ah, I don't mind at all! I wasn't really doing much either besides thinking, so hanging out with you would be more interesting!" It would be a great opportunity for him to interact with Kai.to.

“What were you thinking about?” Kai.to asked, stepping inside of the other student's dorm. He leaned against a wall, looking towards Kii.bo with interest. The student walked over to his door and gently shut it before going back to answer Kai.to's question.

"Uh... I'm not completely sure myself, but Mi.u mentioned that it's a kink of sorts in a few conversations in the past." Kii.bo admitted sheepishly as he'd heard of it, but knew very little about it. Was it the fact that he genuinely didn't understand the kink or was he anxious about how the taller student would react? The answer was both.

Kai.to's eyes widened a bit, though he knew he shouldn’t be surprised. Kii.bo and Mi.u definitely hung out a lot and Mi.u was definitely into some...questionable activities, so it was only natural for Kii.bo to hear about it and be curious. “I’m not super up to date with all these.. kink things, but what was it? Maybe I can help get your brain wrapped around it...” Kai.to stated, though he sounded rather unsure.

"I think it was something like a feeder/feedee concept and weight gain if I remember correctly...?" He answered with a question and hoped he was phrasing it correctly. He knew just as much about kinks as Kai.to did: not that much. “Oh… well I definitely don’t know much about that...'' Kai.to frowned, shifting his gaze to the floor as he tried to think of something that could be helpful.“I mean, if you're really that interested we could try it out.” He mused, looking back to Kii.bo's face. “If that’s what you want, of course.” He felt his cheeks heat up as he hadn't considered actually trying it. Let alone with someone he didn't know very much. "Ah, only if it's okay with you..." Kii.bo didn't want to force the other into it, so he had wanted to make sure.

Kai.to shrugged nonchalantly “Hell, I'm so bored I’m up for anything” He got up from the spot he was leaning on and went to stand next to Kii.bo. “So, you gonna get me some food or not, Kiibs?” He joked, trying to lighten the slightly embarrassed and awkward mood that surrounded them. "Haha very funny" He lightly chuckled as he could sense what Kai.to was trying to do. Which was better than nothing, as he wouldn't have been able to come up with a joking mood himself at the time.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Kai.to asked, putting a hand on Kii.bo's shoulder. “I mean, if you still want to do this and everything.” Kai.to really wanted to make sure Kii.bo was comfortable, not wanting to make the other uncomfortable. Kii.bo nodded with a small smile. But he wanted to lock his door first before starting to walk to Kai.to.

“What kind of food should we get?” Kai.to questioned as Kii.bo caught up to him. He had slowed his pace so that they could keep an equal speed. “Should we get a meal or just snacks?” Once again, he ran his hand through his gelled up purple hair, trying to think up an idea.

He felt the other didn't have to do that, but it was kind nonetheless. "Hmm...snacks for the time being?" The white haired student offered as maybe it would be better to get snacks. “That’s fine with me!” Kai.to grinned, flashing Kii.bo his signature thumbs up pose.“I wonder what kind of snacks are down there today…" He shrugged, at this point he was pretty much thinking out loud, which he did quite often anyways.

The duo had reached the cafeteria after a couple of minutes, and Kai.to grabbed Kii.bo's hand to drag him to the vending machines. They saw a wide variety of snack size packaged chips, cookies, chocolate and so forth. There was also a vending machine with drinks like soda, so they wouldn't have to go too far to get some. He had the feeling that he'd need to buy some drinks, so he started to dig into his pocket for his wallet. Kii.bo had to admit that he was surprised by the amount of variety of food in the machines. As he only bought food from the college's cafeteria.

Kai.to began buying food from the vending machines with the money he had brought with him. He hadn't expected to use it for this, but it was going to be spent on food anyways, picking some of his favorites. Chocolate bars, biscuits, cookies, etc. He got all that he wanted before turning back to Kii.bo. “ Ready to go?” He asked, his head tilting.

"Hm-? Oh yeah, I'm ready to go!" Kii.bo started to think about the possibility of this type of thing being something that some people just find cute and endearing to be unlikely, but it wasn't impossible for that to have innocent intentions behind it. Even though it was usually referred more as a non-romantic or innocent type of kink.

“Then let’s get to it!” Kai.to beamed. He was a little nervous, this wasn’t really something he was into but he wanted Kii.bo to understand. He would be okay, he could do this! As neither of them genuinely understood why people have kinks in the first place, so they weren't sure how this would go. "Okay, let's go!" He was somewhat hesitant himself, but he reassured himself that the experience differed from person to person.

Kai.to flashed Kii.bo a genuine smile, taking his hand and leading him back to the dorms. “I’m sure this will be interesting,” He chuckled, glancing back at the shorter college student. Kii.bo returned a warm smile back to Kai.to. "Yeah, I have the same feeling to say the least" He gently chuckled as he felt this could go a million different ways, but not knowing which direction it would go in. Nonetheless, they would get back to the dorms so that they could try this.

[hawks-supremacy]

New Beginnings - New Job

A/N: Hello, sorry for the spacey and weird updates I’m trying to figure out a day that I can update regularly so hopefully I can update weekly soon. Anyway, here’s part two to the last one. Do you guys like the written chapters? I’m still going to have the texts and ish but I feel like the written chapters give it more context?

Words: 2k

Warnings: None? Swearing?

Masterlist

Arriving at the small store last you see everyone on the team in front of the store talking already. You stopped in front of the large group with your hands on your knees breathing heavily. “What...the...hell” you said in between breaths, “How...do you run...so fast.” You stood up placing one hand on your hip as the other wiped the accumulative sweat from your forehead.

Everyone laughed as you struggled to get air to your lungs while Suga threw an arm around your shoulders. “We have to do daily exercise while you just sit on the bench looking pretty.” Suga ruffled your hair and laughed after he finished his sentence and walked into the store with everyone following suit. You huffed and entered the store last walking in on Ukai giving everyone an earful. You didn’t get the full conversation but from what you got it was something about calling the store and talking to his mom. So if you had to guess you were right about Ukai not being happy about this. Zoning back into the conversation you caught the end, “Since there’s already a replacement here for me I guess I’ll go so Y/n doesn’t lose their mind.” You gave him a grin as he stopped talking and went to go look for snacks.

You guys were still waiting on Takeda, Kiyoko, and Yachi to come to the store so you can head to the mall. Some of the guys sat at the tables talking about what they needed to buy and some were also looking for something to eat until you ate lunch at the mall. Walking up to the register to buy your favorite snack as well as a drink you saw Ukai talking to his mom. Hearing the beeping of items being scanned, Ukai-san glanced over and walked over, leaving her son in the middle of his sentence.

Arriving at her destination behind the register facing you she said, “Why hello dear, who are you?” As she finished your sentence you heard Coach Ukai let out an exasperated “Ma”.

Laughing at his expense you gave the cashier your money as you replied, “I’m Sawamura Y/n ma’am. I’m Daichi’s older sister, I’m helping with the team a bit. It’s nice to meet you.” You put your snack in your small backpack and opened your drink to take a sip as you finished your drink.

“It’s nice to meet you too dear. Are you single?” Upon hearing the question you started choking on your drink sending you into a coughing fit. You felt someone patting your back but didn’t see who and you heard faint laughing in the background.

“Jesus Mom you’re gonna kill the poor girl.” You heard Ukai state from your right. You assumed he was the one patting your back which didn’t help the redness of your face from the question.

After calming down from the near death experience and getting over the trauma you finally answered her bold question, “Yes I am ma’am. But with all due respect I don’t think I’m your type.” Feeling a hand slap over your mouth you looked over at your brother profusely apologizing to the older lady as he swore up and down you were either adopted or dropped on your head as a kid. Getting tired of the hand over your mouth you decided to do the grown up thing and lick his hand, to which you both gagged at. You took a few gulps of your drink to wash the Daichi out and heard the door open. 

Very horror movie like you all turned your heads to the door and looked at who entered. If it was anyone else but the three you were waiting on you were sure they would have run the opposite direction. Everyone greeted the three and said your goodbyes to Ukai-san and the cashier as you left on your way to the mall. Tanaka, Noya, and Ennoshita lead the group. Kageyama, Hinata, and Yachi followed after. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were in the middle. Kiyoko and Asahi were in front of Daichi and Suga while you, Ukai and Takeda were in the back. 

“So Y/n do you need to get anything from the mall?” Takeda asked, looking around Ukai at you deciding to make conversation on the way there. You hadn’t really thought about it, much like Ukai you didn’t know about the trip so you didn’t have anything in mind. Sure if something caught your eye and it wasn’t super expensive you might buy it but other than that you can’t think of anything you desperately need right this moment.

“I guess I don’t need anything. I didn’t know we were going to the mall until this morning when the boys woke me up.” You shrugged as you looked ahead so you could see where you were walking. You weren’t super clumsy but if the universe had their chance they’d make you trip on a pebble if you weren’t careful. “Do you need to get anything Takeda?” 

You softly giggled to yourself as he got out his phone to read the list of various supplies and things he needed to buy. Your giggles soon turned to full blown laughter when you looked ahead and saw Daichi trip over his own feet, you stopped to help him up from the floor and noticed his cheeks were slightly tinted pink and wiggled your eyebrows at him. He stood up straight and coughed as he shoved you away from him and continued walking. You were still calming down from laughing as you caught up to the rest of the group.

Takeda and Ukai were discussing some volleyball plans and arrangements when you caught up so you decided to keep to yourself and let them finish their conversation while you zoned out thinking. You had been here for a little while and you were pretty settled in, so you could probably get a job now. Maybe a place at the mall would be hiring, but you didn’t walk that distance everyday, plus the scheduling probably wouldn’t work out seeing as how you still wanted to help with the boys’ volleyball team as much as you can. Maybe Ukai’s store needs help. You could stock, I mean how hard could it be? It’s putting items on shelves and making them look nice. There was probably more to it but you didn’t need to know that unless you actually got a job stocking.

Tuning back into the world you didn’t hear Takeda or Ukai talking so you assumed they were done talking. You turned to Ukai deciding to ask, “Hey Ukai are you guys looking for help at the store in the mornings? Like stocking shelves or something?” He glanced down at you with his eyebrows furrowed before looking forward again.

“We’re always looking for help, why? Are you looking for a job or something?” He shrugged his shoulders as he responded.

You also shrugged your shoulders as you responded, “Nah just making small talk. Yes I’m asking because I’m looking for a job, why else would I be asking for?” Giving you a look that basically said he was done with your shit you continued speaking, “I just want something to do in the morning before I go to the school to help out. It gets bored at the house while everyone’s away, plus it gets lonely. I don’t like staying in an empty house. It’s nice at first but then it just gets sad. I dunno.” You looked down at the ground as you finished your sentence. You didn’t know how to phrase it, you just know you didn’t like being in an empty house that big for too long. 

“Yeah I get it kid. I can ask my folks about it but I’m sure they’ll give you a job.” You gave him a small smile as your brain processed what he said before letting out a kinda loud hey and a small rant about him calling you a kid. With the way he talks you would’ve thought he was ten years older then you and not one.

Arriving at the mall everyone agreed on a plan to meet back at one so you could all eat lunch. Everyone went their separate ways still staying in small groups as they went to the stores they wanted to visit. You decided to stay with Ukai because everyone else had left before you could ask where everyone was going. Even Takeda took off in the direction to the nearest clothing store claiming to need more work clothes.

Ukai looked at you with an eyebrow raised. Before he could open his mouth you spoke, “I don’t really need anything and I didn’t wanna be left alone so you’re stuck with me. Everyone else took off.” He shrugged in response and headed off to the first store stating he doesn’t really need anything either.

You went store to store making jokes as you went and laughing at dumb things that you saw or said. At one point in time you were laughing loud enough to the point someone told you you needed to quiet down or you’d have to go to another store and shop. After walking around for a few hours you felt hungry and decided to go get lunch early and eat while the others showed up. You sat down and ate quietly until the rest of the group and started talking about what they bought and things they saw or did around the mall. As you traded stories you decided you were happy with the way things have been since you moved back. Life’s been better, easier almost. You had more support here and more interaction with more people than your ex and co-workers. You felt like you finally had a life and friends to share it with. You wouldn’t wish for another group of people to spend your Saturday with. 

After you finished eating you all left the mall around two thirty with your bags in hand. Deciding that the mall had been enough excitement for today you all walked in the direction of your homes. Most of you were tired from walking across town and around the mall. You and Daichi said your goodbyes to the rest of the group as you parted ways to your home. Daichi decided to make small talk asking if you had fun and if you’d want to continue hanging out with the rest of the team when you had time. Telling him that that’s a stupid question you agreed with no hesitation. You decided to take this time to ask Daichi about Suga and if any progress had been made. The answer was bittersweet, they made plans to hang out next weekend but then they both chickened out and panic invited Asahi and Kiyoko as well. You rolled your eyes and scolded him for not being mad enough.

Walking into your home you called out that you arrived but were met with silence. You looked at each other as you shrugged and walked over to the kitchen where a note was on the counter stating that your parents were out of town for a week and there was food money next to the fridge. You laughed at the fact that it was kinda like you were in high school again as you threw away the note and went to go set the stuff you had bought in your room. 

For the rest of the day you guys just lounged in the living room and talked about various things in life as the tv played in the back. At about nine you decided to go back to your room, not to sleep necessarily but to lay down in the warmth of your blankets. Glancing at your phone you noticed you had a text from Ukai. 

Hot Coach: You start Monday at 11, don’t be late.

Smiling you sent back that you wouldn’t miss it for the world.

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 93 - Contaminant

Hope I haven’t upset Georgie too much. How can she be mad? She’s got you. Er, yep, that’s your arse. Thanks for that. Look, I know, I love you too, but can I have my lap back? - Jon

I LOVE ADMIRAL SO MUCH! (Also "Yep, that's your arse, thanks for that." is such a cat owner mood, it had me giggling weeks after listening to this episode just from randomly remembering it.)

Bet the world ends, and you do just fine. - Jon

Welp, that's a bit prescient of Jon!

Then, last year, the… unthinkable happened. Hereditary conditions, right? They… They can really ruin… everything. The doctors told us the chances of it happening were astronomical, like we should be proud of having something so unlikely march in and ruin our lives, but within ten months both myself and Greg were widowers. - Statement of Lester Chang

I didn't even have a connection to this statement giver yet but this was a real gut punch moment. He sets up this whole story of family life and then, just like that, it's all gone.

I didn’t handle it well. I was still deep in grief myself, and I almost broke down, pleading with him, telling him it wasn’t healthy. When I said that, he laughed. He actually threw his head back and laughed. It was one of the most unnerving sounds I’d ever heard.

I can imagine this scene quite vividly, including the unnerving-ness of the laughter.

I shook my head and turned to leave, but as I did so, I saw a small flash of colour in the bath. I pulled back the white curtain and looked down. Surrounding the edges of the plug’s pristine chrome was a small halo of purple. I leaned over to get a closer look. It appeared to be some sort of fungus, scrubbed away so only the faintest traces remained.

At the point where it became clear what this episode was going to be all about, my partner started to tease me a little because we, too, have mould (of the hopefully non-supernatural sort) in our bathroom and I have, at times, gotten a tad anxious and obsessed about getting rid of it (not cause of the health effects, just cause it looks ugly and also anxiety about what the landlord may say on the off-chance he actually comes around).

It looked like my father-in-law was moving, though. I remember, it was Breekon and Hope doing it; they had a depot a ways down the street, and I recall thinking how odd that was, using a couple of local lads with such a small van, given how much furniture they were having to load up from Greg’s house.

Hm, what ARE Breekon and Hope getting out of this? A stockpile of contaminated furniture?

I’ve already stayed here too long. It’s not fair, putting her in danger like this. Or the Admiral. - Jon

Yeah, don't endanger the kitty!

Are they a neutral party, carting round whatever horror needs delivering, just a piece of otherworldly infrastructure?

I adore the phrase 'otherworldly infrastructure'

Jon: Then, a couple of years ago, the Head of the Archives, Gertrude Robinson, she disappeared, and Elias, my boss, chose me as her replacement. Georgie: Why?

Georgie's got a sharp mind, gotta hand it to her. She immediately zeroes in on how Elias hiring Jon doesn't actually make sense.

Jon: Head Archivist. Georgie: Well that does make sense, actually. In context. (...) What I mean is, if there’s no-one above you, there’s no-one to point out you’re doing everything wrong.

She's being a bit rude, but also, she's not wrong...

Jon: Look, can we put my professional competence to one side, please. Because I’m trying to tell you monsters are real! Georgie: Okay.

This was both a "WTF" moment and a moment of relief. WTF because, well, that is NOT the reaction I expected at all, but a moment of relief because I absolutely loathe media dwelling on someone telling the truth and their friends and loved ones, the people that they should be able to trust, thinking they're delusional or lying. I can't consume media like that without becoming really, really anxious. So I'm glad TMA didn't go there.

Jon: Right, it’s… it’s just, I think I’m turning into one. Georgie: Really? That’s… not great.

Well, that's one way to put it!

Jon: What is something you would never choose to tell me? Georgie: When we first met I thought you were putting on that accent to sound more impressive.

Okay, but that's a hilarious thing to compel out of someone!

Jon: And sometimes they choose people to be… er, servants? Conduits? Georgie: Avatars?

Oooh, I had forgotten that Georgie coins the term 'avatars'!

Georgie: If your job is asking questions, I mean. You were always the one who pushed too far, and asked smart-arse, awkward questions. I always was surprised you never got punched.

Yup, Jon is natural Eye fodder.

Jon: Would be nice to meet a monster, and not have a scar to show for it.

Oh god. This line in hindsight...

My impression of this episode

I think on the first go this episode didn't impact me as much as it just did. Actually, the horror, the Corruption, here isn't the most impactful thing (though it's plenty creepy), but this time around I read it more as a story of the trauma of loss - the statement giver losing his wife and then losing his last connection to her (her father) through what he first thinks is mental illness caused by trauma (and there's where it connects up with real life) but turns out to be something worse. And that actually really got to me. Then there's the conversation of Georgie and Jon, which goes over a lot of stuff we already know but somehow manages to remain interesting despite that. And the cliffhanger the episode ends on - what is it Georgie knows? - is pretty exciting, too.

[aylinaliens]

One invisible gold thread (tied me to you) — Chapter 1

Fandom: 2Gether

Pairings: Earn/Pear, Pear/Air, Sarawat/Tine, Ohm/Fong

Summary: Soulmate did not always equate to romance, most spend their lives together as platonically. That is exactly what Earn thought would happen with Pear—but as they spent more time together in person, Earn struggles to calm the raging storm of emotions in her heart. Soon enough, Earn finds herself drawn in like a moth to a flame, Pear’s soft bubblegum pink cardigan and bright eyes serving as balm to her soul. At first, Earn just denies what she feels inside, claiming that the only reason her throat closed up when she was in the proximity of the soft-spoken medical student was because of indigestion. As Earn spends more time with her soulmate, she begins to struggle with understanding the intricacies of her own sexuality, but realization never actually dawns on her until she finds out someone was actively pursuing Pear. That was when Earn starts to come to turns with her feelings...but it was too late now. Right?

Word Count: 1779

Notes: in honor of 2gether the movie being announced i have decided to finally post this because let’s be honest...gmmtv is going to clown on us earnpear shippers again. i typically hate love triangles but dear uranus has made me realize that wlw!love triangles are God Tier so thus this fic was born. hope you like tropes because !! this fic will have it all. soulmates? roommates? fake dating? mutual pining? friends to lovers? unrequited love? bed sharing? friends with benefits? it’s what these sapphics deserve

Read the first chapter on Ao3 or down below!

+

Curiously, Earn lifted her arm and brought it closer to her face so she could examine it. Sarawat obviously understood what was happening, also recently finding his soulmate, so he just leaned back in his seat, sipping on his drink, and quietly observing the own messages on his forearm.

After nearly seven minutes of waiting Pear was done and it was...definitely not doodle of a cat. No, it was something else.

“Oh god. Did she draw a penis?”

Sarawat choked on his drink in surprise. “What?” He gaped. “What did you just say?”

“I said my soulmate just drew an anatomically correct penis on my arm.”

A familiar fluttering sensation cursed through Earn’s body, signaling another message has appeared. She was mid conversation with Sarawat in the process of telling him what time their gig for tomorrow was but never got to.

Full of excitement and butterflies Earn quickly yanked her sleeve up—it’s been thirty six hours since her soulmate last sent a message. It was normal for Pear to disappear for days on end so Earn was used to the delayed reply.

As she glanced down at her forearm she expected to see a reply to the conversation she asked a few days ago but instead it was a drawing.

Once again no big deal—Pear was artistic. She had always sent doodles to Earn.

However, this drawing was not simply just of animals or flowers. She couldn’t exactly tell what it was right now because Pear was still drawing it.

Curiously, Earn lifted her arm and brought it closer to her face so she could examine it. Sarawat obviously understood what was happening, also recently finding his soulmate, so he just leaned back in his seat, sipping on his drink, and quietly observing the own messages on his forearm.

After nearly seven minutes of waiting Pear was done and it was...definitely not doodle of a cat. No, it was something else.

“Oh god. Did she draw a penis?”

Sarawat choked on his drink in surprise. “What?” He gasped. “What did you just say?”

“I said my soulmate just drew an anatomically correct penis on my arm.”

Sarawat looked shocked and positively scandalized but he was not the only one. Earn was just as confused. She held her arm up for him to see and after a few seconds of studying it he came to the same conclusion.

“She drew an anatomically correct penis on your arm. With labels. Why did she send you an anatomically correct penis on your arm?”

Earn lifted her shoulder up in a shrug, leaning down to rummage through her bag to find a pen. Once she did she yanked the cap off and scribbled a quick message.

um...is there like context or a reason that you drew that?

She waited awhile for a reply, staring intently down at her arm for any new piece of ink. It did not matter how long she waited it never came. At least a reply to that question never came. As she studied her arm for what seem like forever the conversation with Sarawat died away.

He knew she was far too preoccupied with with waiting for a message to appear. He was probably the only one in the band who could truly understand what Earn was feeling since he was the only one who had recently discovered his soulmate mark.

Tine was terrible, if not more so, at replying in a timely matter. Sometimes Tine would wait hours just to answer back with a single letter, either forgetting to reply or simply not noticing it.

So Earn waited. Minute after minute. Nothing. Just as she was about to give up that familiar fluttering sensation came back, making her heart soar.

But it was not a reply to Earn’s question. No. It wasn’t even a word.

It was just a smaller anatomically correct penis that was colored in instead of labeling.

Earn pursed her lips in bewilderment but decided that she obviously would not get a reply any time soon.

“I don’t know.” She admitted, shrugging once more. “I really don’t know.”

The first Earn noticed her soulmate mark she was seventeen. She had gym during school today so in between classes she hoped in the shower for a quick rinse off. She didn’t notice any ink nor did she feel abnormal as she scrubbed the dirt and sweat away.

It was afterwards, when she was towel drying her body and trying to slip back on her uniform that she saw pink ink near her wrist.

Confusion coursed through her as she brought her arm toward the light for a better look. She didn’t remember writing anything on her arms.

At first Earn didn’t quite understood what it said due to how faint it was but the longer she stared the more she could understand it.

Mitochondria is the powerhouse cell.

She was shocked, that was sure, but she didn’t have time to think too critically about it because the bell signifying her next class was about to begin snapped her out of it.

Earn forgot about that day in the shower for a few weeks. She knew that soulmates and soul marks were real but it never registered to Earn that was what it was. She didn’t have a soulmate. No way did she have a soulmate. Earn just...forgot that she wrote that. Yeah. That is exactly what happened.

It wasn’t until she was laying in bed one day, laptop perched on her lap as she hummed along to her favorite band, that the memory of that day came flooding back.

A stinging sensation started at the base of her spine and slowly traveled up until her fingertips were tingling and her her throat was constricting. Soon enough the sensation had made its way all over he body, from her fingertips to her toes Earn felt it.

It didn’t hurt, quite the opposite, but it was enough to pause what she was doing.

Then the stinging feeling evaporated into thin air. It was like it never happened. Instead it was replaced by something akin to butterflies but vastly more intense.

A half done math equation appeared near her elbow. A math equation Earn never even learned.

A few beats of silence passed before more ink appeared. It was of a cartoon bunny holding up a sign that that had a phrase on it: Susu Pear!

Earn could no longer pretend like she forgot about writing on her arm. No. This was a soulmate mark.

She practically threw off her laptop off and hastily scrambled out of bed to her desk to grab a pen. Once she found one she tore off the cap and scribbled out a word, feeling as if her heart would leap out of her chest.

hello?

Earn waited for a reply what seemed like years but in reality it was only half a minute.

...hello?

Oh god. Oh my god. She had a soulmate.

None of her friends of family got their soulmate marks yet so she was utterly confused on what to do next. She could search the web for answers but she was scared that her soulmate would disappear.

cute bunny drawing. is your name pear?

The reply was almost instantaneously, showing up before Earn even finished her own message.

thank you! yes, my name is pear. what’s your name?

Before Earn could reply again Pear wrote something else back, just below her previous message.

you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! i know that some people ignore their soulmate marks.

Butterflies erupted in Earn’s stomach once again but this time it was not because of the ink. Soulmate. Pear just confirmed it. There was no backing out of it now.

my name is earn and...i don’t want to ignore this. unless...you want to?

no! i don’t want to ignore this. i want to um, get to know you. can we do that?

of course. what do you want to know?

everything.

That’s exactly what Earn did, she told Pear everything. Not that night but over the next few years they essentially bared their souls to each other in every sense of the word. Sometimes they would write whole entire essays to each other, forced to erase the earlier conversations or come up with new creative places to write. Sometimes they would send doodles back in forth.

After a few months of talking when the two settled into a comfortable routine, somehow becoming each others biggest supporters. Before every exam, Pear would send Earn the same little cartoon bunny cartoon drawing. Every time the message on the poster was different.

susu earn!

you can do it.

good luck!

earn! you got this!

i'm always rooting for you!

you got this, babe!

Sometimes the messages were so cheesy that Earn felt color flood her cheeks and often never replied because she didn’t know what to say. She would feign innocence when this happened, claiming she was just so nervous about her exam that she forgot to reply.

It was ridiculous—she was so tongue tied and bashful over the same messages you would find on motivational stickers. If anyone else drew these things Earn would think it was dumb but because it was from Pear she thought it utterly adorable.

Earn in return took up to expanding Pear’s musical knowledge and interests. She would use her arms to write down random bits of lyrics she thought of instead of on paper. Pear always took care to never erase those lyrics until Earn gave her the green light.

However, most of the time they just talked. About anything. About nothing. After a few years went by of this Earn grew fond of the soulmate she knew virtually everything yet nothing about.

Unlike most people who got soulmate marks she dated. It was nothing serious, it never was, but she got to experience many different firsts.

Pear, on the other hand, apparently never dated—before or after the soulmate mark appeared—swearing she was far too busy with trying to get into college and than medical school to date. Besides, she wrote one day, I have you. That’s enough.

Messages like that always left Earn melting into a puddle of goo. The thing with soulmates is that they didn’t exactly have to be romantic. Hundreds of thousands of soulmates got their mark but decided to just stay platonic. That’s exactly what Earn thought would happen to them.

It’s not as if she never thought about them in a romantic sense, Earn did more than she cared to admit, but she would always quickly shake out of when she realized that it would never between them too like that.

It has been almost four years and neither of them has asked to meet yet. Surely if they wanted to meet each other they could of. At the start they found out that they only lived three hours apart. After they began college, Earn and Pear found out that they were even closer to each other.

Yet they always managed to skirt around that topic. It would happen one day or it never will Earn wrote one day either way let's just stay like this while we wait for that day to come.

[silyabeeodess]

ORIGINS Short: Interdimensional Donuts

((A bit of context going into this page here, because writing this is easier than drawing it. ))

All anyone had to do was look at his familiar to tell she was burnt-out.  Given their magic, most just thought of it literally.  The small, twin-tailed fox was flopped over the fire monster’s lap, softly whimpering into his leg.  Passersby probably thought she had used too much of her power for a mission, or maybe she was sick.  Some might’ve even thought that he had somehow hurt her.  

However, Blaze didn’t share their sympathy because he knew she was mostly just whining about having too much work to do.

“You still haven’t picked out any plays for our troupe,” he mumbled under his breath so only she could hear.  The Guild’s mess hall wasn’t exactly crowded at that time of day to start--only a couple of people were sitting around--but they were always careful.  “Can’t you do that much?  You wouldn’t even have to come up with anything yourself.”

‘It’s harder than you think since Shakespeare doesn’t even exist yet!  I’m also a little busy working on your timeline!’ came the stressed, telepathic reply.  

Given what she was, Blaze didn’t really see the point: It was her own fault for wanting to show off rather than keep this world’s events to herself.  That, and he knew that she worked on countless of her other, so-called ‘projects’ on the side. Some just, as she phrased it, “for fun.”  If leading their troupe was another responsibility she insisted on taking, he wasn’t going to let her walk out on the job easily.  

“Weren’t you the one who bragged that you could look up anything you wanted in seconds?” 

‘I’m also the one who can spend an entire day drawing something that happens in only seconds here!’ 

As if reminded of something awful, she buried herself further in his lap.  Blaze only knew what his familiar told him--only believed her because she had abilities that didn’t exist in their reality--so he had no idea why she was so upset.  He just assumed something had happened that threw her off-course so badly to the point that it was hard to find her way back.  Both to her work in this world and to the “misadventures” she wanted to have with their group.

He often wondered whether it was better or worse to have a familiar.  They weren’t always a force for good, even sometimes going so far as to possess people.  They meddled in events that had nothing to do with them for entertainment, and yet were often essential to carrying them out in the first place.  Even what he had with the fox was more of a trade: A bit of her power and knowledge in exchange for a place to be and someone at her side.  At one point, years ago, he may have viewed her as a mystical being who could either grant him any wish or drag him to the greatest misfortune.  Now...?

‘Do you know how many meals I’ve skipped? I at least need something to cure the munchies while I work.  I need my caffeine kick!  I need food!’

Now, he often thought she was like an overpowered child...

In another sense though, she had kind of gone from being a distant, older sister to a clingy, younger one. “I can get you those desserts you like.”

‘Blaze, baby, as happy as that makes me, that literally does nothing else,’ she rolled over on her back, ‘I wish I could really taste the food here though... This new universe that just came out had heart donuts!  With jam!  And I want to try one so bad!’

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t know even what a donut is.”

All at once, the fox looked up at him with a slightly horrified expression.  Not with herself for having revealed something she possibly shouldn’t have, but at him for not knowing what she was complaining about in the first place.  After a moment, she pushed herself up with a determined huff.  

‘You know, sometimes I really hate that this is the middle ages...’

Jumping off the bench, she began making her way toward the kitchen.  Given that he’d never seen his familiar cook, Blaze assumed she was using it as a cover.  “Where are you going?” 

‘To get donuts!’

At the same time, out of the corner of his eye, Blaze saw Castellar enter the mess and also make his way toward the kitchen--carrying a heavy crate of crops in his arms that must’ve just arrived from one of the nearby farms.  He went quiet, expecting the familiar to spot the apprentice and be careful.  She stepped out of view of the entryway,  her tails swishing the air behind her.

Seconds later, a surprised yelp broke the silence and everyone’s gaze turned toward the kitchen, concerned.  Except for Blaze, who covered his face in his hands.  

When the Guildmaster later asked him that day if he’d seen where Castellar went, he played dumb.  

[thedreadvampy]

hey, i definitely agree with you on the georgie & jon post, and i do think that the post was badly phrased/missing some context from other discussions re: georgie cutting jon out; maybe i'm giving op too much credit (op is 17 so. yeah) but i think the context they're speaking from might be that she later showed up at his workplace, judged him to his face for reading statements, & victim-blamed him to his friend? there's a good meta floating around about that, if you're in a good place to read it

Like, I’m happy to read that meta if you wanna send it me but I will say having recently listened to that episode (in fact, I’ve just gone back to relisten to that exchange now) I fairly substantially disagree with characterising what Georgie said to Martin as victim-blaming. 

She’s frustrated and somewhat unkind about Jon, but the closest I can think is when she says “some people don’t want help, they just want other people suffering with them” or “jumping on a grenade is only heroic if you weren’t the one who actually threw it” and that’s...somewhat unfair, but she immediately walks it back - Martin says “That’s not what’s happening” and she says “Ok, it’s still not something I want any part of.” Throughout that exchange I think those lines are the closest she comes to actually implying Jon is responsible for his own suffering - every other thing she says is very directly an answer to the question why aren’t you talking to him, and the answer is ‘because trying to help him is hurting me and putting others at risk’. That’s not victim blaming, that’s explaining an actual reality, and to be honest I think she’s very careful until the last couple of lines to not imply that it’s his fault or that she’s angry at him.

She judged him to his face for reading statements because reading statements provably puts him in danger. And by “judged him to his face” I mean she asked if he was ok, he said ‘I’m trying to do better’ and she said ‘really? because it seems like you’re in a bad place and should get some therapy’ and he made a snide comment and she said ‘ok’ and left.

In both cases, she “shows up at his workplace” explicitly to pick up her girlfriend for therapy (a thing Melanie is very reliant on) and is actively trying not to get involved or start shit, so I think that’s a pretty unfair way to frame it, and I also think that calling what she says to Martin “victim blaming” is extremely stretching the meaning of that term. She doesn’t say ‘he did this to himself’ or ‘he doesn’t deserve saving’, she says ‘I don’t think I can help him and I’m scared he’s hurting himself and those around him’ and only escalates to the giddying horror of saying ‘he doesn’t want to be helped’ and ‘it isn’t intrinsically good to hurt yourself for other people when you’re putting them in the line of fire in the first place’ (oh no what a monster) after Martin effectively tells her he doesn’t think Melanie deserves help.

to whit

MARTIN

(wry laughter) And- and you think Melanie’s worth saving?

GEORGIE

It’s not about worth. But yeah, she’s actually trying to get well, so I’m gonna help her.

So, sorry, I am happy to read any meta you want to send over but I will take some convincing that somehow Georgie is being the unreasonable one in this conversation, given that she actively says she isn’t making this decision because she thinks Melanie’s worth more than Jon, and Martin a) is grilling someone he has literally just met and b) unprompted pretty much says he doesn’t think Melanie’s worth saving.

like I love Martin but he is not coming off well in this conversation, this is a Mean Martin Moment.

and I honestly think Georgie’s end of the conversation is less victim-blamey than what I said in my previous post on this topic and I do not think Jon’s pain is his own fault, but I absolutely do think a) from her perspective he is more invested in dragging people into the supernatural stuff than getting himself out and b) she words the last bit badly but like. Jon does put himself and others in the line of fire and then repeatedly sacrifice himself to save them. like. that’s a thing he does. it isn’t a good metaphor because the grenade is there either way, but I’m not sure “didn’t word things well right after some stranger told her she should have abandoned her girlfriend to keep trying to save Jon despite the fact she just said she was getting hurt and not managing to help him” is quite the pinnacle of victim blaming. to be honest these things are fucking hard to talk about and one of the reasons they’re hard to talk about is because it’s really difficult to express “this person isn’t prepared to be helped and they��re dragging down everyone around them” without someone hearing “this person chose their pain and it’s an act of cruelty towards me.” but like. this exchange is written really carefully to express the former not the latter imo.

[whats-the-story-tc]

9th of October, 2020

"The One with the Cards Laid Bare"

[INCREDIBLY LONG, SORRY FOR CLOGGING THE TAG]

There were very tense energies in our classroom before V's double class. We already knew she'd cried today, we knew where she'd be working from other classes, so we all knew what would come, and it still was bad. One of the boys said he heard that she hopes we're not all angry at her and that we won't hate her for her decision. There was not an inch of anger or hatred in any of us, just heartbreak. We knew how much we'd cry seeing her leave. We were afraid of this goodbye. But it had to come eventually. The last class she'll ever teach. The last two lessons she'll ever have.

She was late. Only a couple minutes, but seeing she's always on time, or even a bit early, it was worrying. I walked outside to find her, and when I did, I saw her, coming up the stairs with two boys from the class, fresh back from lunch. Immediately as she saw me, she raised her index finger and said: "No." I didn't really understand it, until she continued: "I'm not gonna cry. I'm trying to go at least two minutes without crying." My heart was in shambles, and nothing even happened yet.

She started by telling us an e-mail is not how she wanted us to find out. She wanted to tell us herself, but not until today, probably not until the end of class, even though she's known for quite a long time she wanted to leave. She didn't tell us, because she wanted these last days not to be chaotic, so we could still focus and do our best in class. There were signs, though. And I should have known. There's one in basically every post I wrote this year. Funny thing is, when I told you about how she was with the girl from the other class and I thought something was up, it was only my gut feeling. She hadn't told them yet. Only in the last 20 minutes of that double class.

She also told us who will be replacing her, just to get the professional part quickly over with. V said she expects us to treat them fairly, even if she won't be here to check on us. We keep this promise. Most of the time, it works.

Being a teacher doesn't pay well, and here, in our country, the profession itself is not respected the way it should be. 10 years of experience in the field means nothing, she said. The new education system is horrible, unbearable, and she's had enough of feeling like she's in a toxic relationship. Not with us, with teaching. She said she used to feel very anxious when she got here, and by now I know what she hadn't told us in that moment, that she still doesn't feel good thinking about school. She has to leave for her own sake, even though she feels incredibly guilty about it. Even though she'll miss us.

She said, through tears, constantly stopping to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts, that teaching is something she was planning to do her whole life long, but she has to step back now. Even though she has "the seniors, standing before their graduation exams, [us], whom [she's] bonded with", she can't do it anymore. And when one of the girls asked her if she really did love us, she said: "Would I have stayed so long if I didn't?"

We spent long minutes in class discussing the education system, and when I said I didn't know about something that supposedly came from the weaker one of the theatre universities here at home, V was surprised that I hadn't read it. She called me a nickname again, a new one. I've been babygirl and I've been fairy bug before, but not once have I been the name that translates to "my life". Spanish speakers, it's like when you guys say mi vida to someone you love. That's what V called me. I don't remember her ever having called someone that in class.

Between classes, Bandana Friend, who was sick, joined us via video call to speak to V, as she really wanted to say goodbye, at least like this. I stood right beside V as they spoke, out of the camera's sight, unlike my classmates, constantly goofing off in the background, making both V and my friend laugh a little. As I stood there, I couldn't help but marvel at V's eyes from up close, in the light. I don't think I've ever seen a more enchanting eye colour before, and I find nearly every pair of eyes I see pretty. Seriously, I wasn't overexaggerating in any of my posts. If you once catch her eye, you won't know when to stop looking.

After a while, though, my classmates got a bit much, still during the call, and there I was, gathering bravery and doing something I've never done before. I stroked V's arm for a second or two, like I've wanted to so many times before, to show sympathy. She didn't even look at me, didn't even flinch, she probably knew who was touching her. And, seeing how unresponsive, how calm she was about it, I couldn't help but think: "Is this something I could've done this whole time?"

Before the second class with her started, Debate Friend called her a derivative of her first name (though she made sure to say Miss with it), and V just told her not to be rude. Hours pass, and V lets her (and us all, indirectly) call her by her first name, which is something we're still adapting to, but I'm rushing too far ahead, let's slow down a little.

The second class went well, she wasn't crying anymore, on the contrary. We laughed a lot, she told us her honest opinion on a lot of us, who asked her what she thinks of them, and gave advice if needed. I didn't ask. I figured that if she wants to tell me something, she will. Then a very crazy chain of events happened.

She looked like she was gonna tear up again, and I couldn't sit and watch anymore. I stood up and walked right in front of her, not daring to ask for a hug, but hoping she'll get the message with arm gestures. It took her a bit, but when she did, she couldn't help but yell something that I would translate to: "[Specs] is jumping me!". The word she used here is something usually used in a romantic or flirty context. (Translation was never my forte.) You can probably imagine the laughter, and also my face as I realise that not even on her last day could she go without sassing me at least once.

But then. Oh, then. The next thing I hear as I turn towards her is as she says: "C'mere, Little Me." and before I know it, I find myself sobbing in her arms again, and thinking about how this happened. She seemed taken aback by or uncomfortable with the comparison the last time we spoke about it in March, before the quarantine. When did she accept it, or how? Now as I re-read that post, as I'm writing this one... could the turning point have been me calling her my sister? I had so many questions, but all I could do was cry.

Class was nearing the end when I finally managed to stop sobbing and ask her one thing I've been meaning to for ages: what her tattoos mean. "How much should I go into detail?" she asked with sparkling eyes. She wasn't even surprised I knew about the two on her shoulder blades — but I was, when she motioned with her fingers she actually had three. Before telling me about them, she jokingly said something along the lines of "I'm not gonna strip for you" (as all 3 are covered by clothes), and me being me, I immediately threw my hands up, face probably red, and said: "Nononononono, obviously [not]!"

Funny thing is, the two on her shoulder blades are actually quotes from the last book she had us read, the last thing we discussed with her in class on Wednesday. So this is what she meant when she said she had personal connections to it! After she told me which parts they're from, she jokingly added "Very English teacher [of me]...", to which I just laughed and responded "Yeah, very."

By the time I'm writing this, I already had to listen to the headmaster, one of V's replacements, as he bragged about knowing of these two tattoos. Heh. That's cute. It's still 2-1 to me, sir. Not only have I seen them partially before, which you said you haven't, but I also know about the one she most definitely never told you about. And the one I'm most definitely not gonna tell you guys about. Sorry. Some things just have to stay between V and I.

"Also, no one noticed that this is the first time since I came here that I've worn a band T-shirt!" she complains to me jokingly. "Well, I was used to your graphic shirts, so I didn't think much of it," I reply. She's very enthusiastic in telling me what exactly is on it, without me even asking. This woman put on a shirt that essentially disses Christianity — in a religious school. Unbelievable. I love her.

Somewhere around that time, I asked her to let me walk with her to the teacher's lounge, Bookworm Friend convinced her to take a photo with our squad (which had basically everyone I know, my own father included, telling me we look identical), I stroked her arm again (I no longer remember what the reason was, but she still must've felt it pretty natural, seeing she didn't react), and like 3/4 of the class came to hug V goodbye. Meanwhile, another girl I've been classmates with for ages, but never particularly liked, hugged me to try and comfort me. It caught me off-guard, but I've never felt more like our class is a community.

People from other classes came to talk as she walked outside, but I waited until she was alone, and most probably so was she. She promised, likely knowing that I wanted to talk privately, so we didn't leave until it was just the two of us left.

"Come, Little Me," she said again, as we got going. She liked this phrase so much that she repeated it in English. "Mini Me." Then I found out why the English. Turns out, her native English speaker boyfriend, who she name-dropped like it's second nature, as if she's telling a story to a friend (she's so whipped for him, it's adorable), knows all about this comparison, and had a good laugh at it. He knows who I am. I was important enough to mention at home to her boyfriend, something I always wondered about but never dared to ask her. Tears.

No, really, actual tears. I've told you before, I don't support confessing love to your teachers while you're still their student (I'd wait a year after graduation if I were you), and especially if you're underage, and I myself wouldn't do it either. And I didn't. My confession was a little different. My voice breaking from tears, I told her the one thing I wanted her to know most. "This is not how I wanted to tell you, but I've never got more (in life) from anyone..." The answer? The old classic. "Come on."

"[Specs], you really need to get more self-confidence" she tells me, as that's about the only thing I still need to get me where I want to be. "I have to," I reply. And I do. I'm trying. Funny thing, self-confidence. It comes up in both the first and the last conversation we have as student and teacher.

We get up, stand at the top of the stairs. Soon it's time to go. The memories get a bit hazy here, but I'll try my best.

She tells me she expected me to react this way, and was afraid of it, seeing what happened in January. I immediately corrected her. In January, I cried because seeing my classmates hurting and my teachers clueless and lost hurt me, whereas this time, it's personal. She doesn't say anything. I think she understands. I ask her if she'll be happy in this new situation, and she says she hopes so. Only time will tell.

"I probably won't be available at a moment's notice all the time, but if you ever need me, you'll find me," she reassures me.

My English (language) teacher walks outside in that moment, and starts talking to V like I'm not even there. V and I are both a bit uncomfortable with the interruption, but the teacher seems pretty fine with it. Fucking hell, woman, insensitivity much?

Anyway. When she's gone is probably the moment we realise this is it. That this is where it's over.

She reaches out, both verbally and physically, and there we are, hugging again, both of us stroking the other's back in an effort to try and comfort the other. "You always have your friends," she tells me. "Get a good rest," she adds somewhere during that moment. Then we pull away.

I don't reach out, I don't dare to. As soon as I step out of her arms, it's her, who takes a hold of my hand. Not clinging, just a gentle, meaningful hold. I have no idea what she was saying, as I focused on the fact that we were only bloody holding hands in plain sight — and another thing.

V's eyes were red, and full of tears.

She hadn't shed a single tear for the past 20 minutes or so. Yet there she stands before me, physically still holding on to me, and crying. That was all me. And all of a sudden, I understand everything. I no longer have the guts to deny that she loved me all this time.

That's where it ends. No grandiose confessions, nothing loud, nothing overly passionate. Just a scene of two women standing hand-in-hand, showing their true colours and not holding anything back for the first time since they've met, before Miss V, the teacher, forever disappears behind a glass door.

These two women, mentioned above, are the ones who laid the foundation for two friends, two equals to meet anew. They are just getting to know each other all over again as we speak, setting the tone for something to start that could possibly last a long time. And I don't think there's anything that could feel better than that.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]