#The only exception is if its an online game and you’re using the cheats to harass others

[waytoorambles]

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion but it’s mine so

If you’re playing a game for fun, you shouldn’t feel bad for using cheats or anything like that if thats what makes it funner for you.

[speed-seo]

Learn to Avoid Circumventing System Violations Have you ever seen an ad online that seemed a little fishy or too good to be true? Maybe it promised something crazy, like a free phone or a way to get rich quick. That ad might have been trying to bend the rules of Google Ads! Google has a set of rules, called policies, that all advertisers have to follow. These policies are like the rules of a game, and they're there to make sure all the ads are safe and honest. But sometimes, people try to cheat and get around these rules. This is called "circumventing system policy violation." Think of it like sneaking candy into a movie theater. You might think you're being slick, but if you get caught, you could get kicked out! In the world of Google Ads, getting caught breaking the rules can mean your ads get taken down or your account gets suspended. And that's not cool! So, let's learn about why people try to break the rules and how you can stay on Google's good side while running your awesome ads. Google Ads Policies: The Rules of the Game Policies: Rules or guidelines that tell you what you can and can't do. Before we get into the sneaky stuff, let's understand the rules. Google Ads policies are guidelines that tell advertisers what they can and can't do. They cover all sorts of things, like what you can advertise, how you can advertise it, and who you can show your ads to. - What you can advertise: You can't advertise anything illegal, like drugs or weapons. You also can't promote things that could hurt people, like dangerous products or websites with viruses. - How you can advertise: You have to be honest and truthful in your ads. No tricking people with misleading information or fake promises! This is super important because Google wants people to trust the ads they see. If people see a bunch of misleading ads, they might start ignoring all ads, and that's not good for anyone. - Who you can target: You can't target people based on sensitive information like their race, religion, or health. However, there are some exceptions to this rule, especially for things like healthcare advertising, where you might need to target people with specific health conditions. But even then, you have to follow strict guidelines and be extra careful about protecting people's privacy. These policies are there to protect everyone who uses Google – both the people seeing the ads and the businesses creating them. Visit the Google's Advertising Policies Center Why People Try to Circumvent the System Okay, so now that we know the rules, why would anyone want to break them? Well, some people try to be sneaky for a few different reasons: - To get around restrictions: Some advertisers might try to sneak in stuff that's not allowed, like counterfeit goods (fake products that look like the real deal) or dangerous products. They might try to disguise these things or use tricky wording to get past Google's systems. - To get more clicks: Some people might use misleading or shocking content to get people to click on their ads, even if it's not entirely true. This is like those clickbait headlines you see online that make you want to click even though you know it's probably not that exciting. - To avoid detection: Some advertisers might try to hide what they're doing by misspelling prohibited words or using special characters that Google's system might not recognize. It's like trying to write a secret code that only your friends can understand! But here's the thing: Google is always working to improve its systems and catch people who try to cheat. They even use AI and machine learning to help detect fraudulent ads and keep things fair for everyone. So, even if you think you've found a loophole, you'll probably get caught eventually. What Happens If You Get Caught? If Google catches you trying to bend the rules, they can do a few different things, depending on how serious the violation is: - Disapproving your ads: This is like getting a timeout. Your ads won't be shown anymore until you fix the problem. - Suspending your account: This is more serious. It means you won't be able to advertise with Google Ads at all, and you might even lose the money you've already spent on your ads. - Permanent ban: In some cases, if you keep breaking the rules or do something really bad, Google might ban you from ever advertising with them again. - Egregious violations: These are the most serious violations, like promoting illegal activities or putting people in danger. If you commit an egregious violation, Google might suspend your account immediately, without any warning. Appealing a Suspension 🤔 If your Google Ads account gets suspended, don't panic! You might be able to appeal the decision and get your account back. Here's how it works: - Identify the problem: Google will tell you why your account was suspended. Figure out exactly what you did wrong and how to fix it. - Make the changes: Fix your ads, website, or whatever caused the violation. Make sure everything follows Google's policies. - Submit an appeal: You can appeal the decision directly from your Google Ads account. Explain what you did wrong, how you fixed it, and why you think your account should be reinstated. - Be patient: It takes time for Google to review appeals. Be patient and wait for their decision. Common Ways People Break the Rules and How to Avoid Them Let's look at some common ways people try to trick Google and how you can avoid making the same mistakes: 1. Counterfeit Goods Counterfeit goods: Fake products that look like the real deal, but they're not! What it is: Selling fake products that look like they're from a famous brand. It's like selling a knock-off video game that looks like the real thing but doesn't actually work. Why it's bad: It's illegal and it tricks people into buying something that's not what they think it is. How to avoid it: Only sell genuine products from brands you're authorized to sell. 2. Dangerous Products Dangerous products: Things that could hurt people, like weapons or things that could cause explosions. What it is: Promoting things that could harm people, like weapons, explosives, or illegal drugs. Why it's bad: It's dangerous and could put people at risk. How to avoid it: Don't advertise anything that could cause harm or injury. Stick to safe and legal products. 3. Misleading Ads Misleading ads: Ads that try to trick you with false or exaggerated information. What it is: Tricking people with false information or exaggerated claims. It's like saying your toy car can actually drive on water! Why it's bad: It's dishonest and makes people lose trust in advertising. How to avoid it: Always be truthful and accurate in your ads. Don't make promises you can't keep. 4. Data Misuse Data misuse: Collecting or using people's personal information in a way they didn't agree to. What it is: Collecting people's personal information without their permission or using it in a way they didn't agree to. It's like borrowing your friend's phone and looking through their photos without asking. Why it's bad: It's a violation of privacy and can put people's information at risk. How to avoid it: Be upfront about how you collect and use data. Get people's permission before collecting their information and keep it safe. This is a big deal for Google, and they're making changes to how they handle data. For example, they're phasing out third-party cookies, which are small files that track people's online activity. This is a good thing for privacy, but it also means advertisers need to find new ways to reach their target audience. 5. Violating Local Laws Local laws: Rules that are specific to a certain city, state, or country. What it is: Breaking the laws in the countries where your ads are shown. It's like trying to sell fireworks in a place where they're illegal. Why it's bad: It's illegal and can get you in trouble with the authorities. How to avoid it: Make sure your ads follow all the rules and regulations in the places where you're showing them. 6. Misspelling Prohibited Words Prohibited words: Words that Google doesn't allow in ads, like bad words or words that could be offensive. What it is: Trying to sneak in prohibited words by misspelling them. It's like trying to trick your teacher by writing a naughty word in a different way. Why it's bad: It's still against the rules, even if you try to be sneaky. How to avoid it: Don't use prohibited words at all, even if you misspell them. 7. Malicious Software Malicious software: Harmful software, like viruses, that can damage computers or steal information. What it is: Advertising websites or apps that contain viruses or other harmful software. It's like giving someone a gift that secretly breaks their computer. Why it's bad: It can damage people's computers or steal their information. How to avoid it: Make sure your website and any apps you promote are free of malicious software. The Future of Google Ads and Privacy Google is a big company, and they make a lot of money from advertising. But they also have a responsibility to protect people's privacy. This can be tricky, because sometimes making money and protecting privacy seem like they're at odds with each other. But Google is working hard to find a balance. They're investing in new technologies and creating new policies to make sure they can keep making money while also keeping people's information safe. Conclusion: Keep It Clean! Trying to get around Google Ads policies might seem like a quick way to get ahead, but it's not worth it. Google is really good at catching people who try to cheat, and the consequences can be serious. The best way to succeed with Google Ads is to be honest, transparent, and follow the rules. Create awesome ads that people actually want to see, and make sure you're not doing anything shady. That way, you can reach your audience, build trust, and achieve your advertising goals without resorting to sneaky tactics. So, be cool, play fair, and have fun with Google Ads! Suporting information sources: - "Google Ads policies." Advertising Policies Help, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Google Ads Policies and Guidelines." Transparency Centre, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Summary of Google Advertising Policies." Digital Marketing, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "How to Fix Google Ads Account Suspension?" PPCexpo, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Google takes a stand against fraudulent ads." globaleyez, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Google Ads Account Suspended? Here's Solutions to Fix it." BrowserScan Blog, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Abusing the ad network." Advertising Policies Help, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Commission recommends actions to combat counterfeiting." European Commission Press Corner, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Counterfeit goods." Advertising Policies Help, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "How to protect against counterfeit goods in distressed supply chains." Osborne Clarke, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Dangerous products or services." Advertising Policies Help - Google Help, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Google Ads Updates Misrepresentation Policy To Strengthen ..." Search Engine Journal, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "The Dark Side of Google: A Closer Look at Privacy Concerns and User Data Collection." Campaigns of the World, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "9 Data Privacy Issues to Avoid: Examples and Solutions." Termly, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Tips for Issuing Civil Infractions for Ordinance Violations." Mika Meyers, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Legal requirements." Advertising Policies Help - Google Help, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Bad words and Forbidden words in Google Ads." BlueWinston.com, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Fix misspelled words." Acquia Optimize, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Why Google Ads Disapproved for Malicious Software and How to Fix." MegaDigital.ai, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Protecting Against Malicious Code." CISA, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. - "Google's Privacy Issues and Misadventures: The Battle Between Profits and Trust." ClickGuard, 2025, URL. Accessed 8 Jan. 2025. Read the full article

[machine-gun-casie]

tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room. 

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends. 

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not. 

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you. 

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry. 

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call? 

“He was with Bob.” 

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park? 

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.” 

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together. 

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.” 

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?” 

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.” 

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

[magnusmysteries]

Part 4: The Sixteenth Fear

The Magnus Archives was a horror podcast. It is now completed. Many of the show’s mysteries were never explained on the show. I intend to explain them. Spoilers for the show, but also spoilers if you wanna solve these mysteries yourself.

In part 3 I said every fear has an opposite. But the Flesh didn’t exist before the industrial revolution. So there would have been 13 fears then, an uneven number, and not every fear could balance against an opposite. So how could that be?

The answer is, there were only 12 fears before the Flesh. The Corruption and the Desolation used to be the same fear. 

Diego Molina of the Lightless Flame cult worships Asag. A Sumerian god of disease that could make fish boil. So Asag seems to be of both the Corruption and the Desolation.

In Infectious Doubts Arthur Nolan complains about it: “Not like I can vent to the others about what a prat Diego is. Got a lot of funny ideas. Still calls the Lightless Flame Asag, like he was when he was first researching it. I just really wanna tell him to get over it; I mean Asag was traditionally a force of destruction, sure, but as a church we very much settled on burning in terms of the – face we worship, and some fish-boiling Sumerian demon doesn’t really match up, does it? Plus there’s a lot of disease imagery with Asag that I’ll reckon is way too close to Filth for my taste, but no, he read it in some ancient tome, so that’s that –“

Ancient is the key word. The tome predates the industrial revolution and the Flesh. Asag probably isn’t a thing anymore and Diego is indeed a prat for worshipping it.

In The Architecture of Fear Smirke writes “I know you say the Flesh was perhaps always there, shriveled and nascent until its recent growth, but to grant the existence of such a lesser power would throw everything into confusion. Would you have me separate the Corruption into insects, dirt, and disease? To divide the fungal bloom from the maggot?”

It is not random that Smirke uses the Corruption as an example here. The Corruption is the opposite of the Flesh, so the Corruption is the fear that Smirke believed had no opposite for hundreds or thousands of years.

In part 3 I said vampires where Corruption/Desolation/Hunt. This is a little far-fetched, but I wonder if the vampire’s we’ve seen have been old ones that predate the Flesh. And that’s why they are part Corruption, since Corruption and Hunt used to be next to each other. Maybe there are more modern vampires without the long sucking tongue. Maybe instead of sucking blood, when they bite you begin to burn or boil. Since the Hunt is now next to the Desolation instead of the Corruption-Desolation combo.

In Vampire Killer Trevor says “I have killed five people that I know for sure as vampires, and there are two more that may or may not have been.” There is a missing middle part of Trevor’s statement. Maybe there he talks about killing two vampires that are modern and therefore different so he’s not sure if they’re actually vampires.

Speaking of fears splitting up, why is the Darkness the opposite fear of the Slaughter? In Last Words we hear of the first fear “A fear of blood and pounding feet, a fear of that sudden burst of pain and then nothing.” 

And of the second fear “The fear of their own end, of the things that lived in the darkness, became a fear of the darkness itself.”

I think the first was a general fear of violence. It includes what became the Hunt “Blood and pounding Feet...” and the Slaughter “...Sudden burst of pain and then nothing”, and the End “The fear of their own end…” And the second fear was the Darkness. They were the opposite by default, simply for being the two first fears.

When the Buried became a fear, the Hunt split up from the Violence to oppose it. When the Vast became a fear, the End split up from the Violence to oppose it. All that was left of the Violence was Slaughter, still opposing the Dark. When humans began warfare, fear of war fit nicely with the Slaughter.

The Eye might have been part of the Dark at first. Still from Last Words: “...because they knew the dark held flashing talons and shining eyes…” 

When the Lonely became a fear, the Eye split up from the Dark to oppose it.

So what about the Extinction? Does it have an opposite? Yes! There is a sixteenth fear. And what can be the opposite of the fear of the end of the world? The fear that the world isn’t real. That we’re all just living in a computer simulation. If you think the world isn’t even real, you’re not gonna be so worried about it ending. I’ll call it the Simulation.

Here is how the fears are arranged on the wheel, with the two latest fears added:

Description of image: A circle with 16 spots similar to a clock. On each spot is a number and the name of a power: 1. Corruption. 2 Extinction. 3. Desolation. 4. Hunt. 5. Slaughter. 6. End. 7. Lonely. 8. Stranger. 9. Flesh. 10. Simulation 11. Spiral. 12. Buried. 13. Dark. 14. Vast. 15. Eye. 16. Web.

The Extinction is next to the Corruption. Disease and garbage are both gross. Possessive is an Extinction episode, even if not acknowledged as such by any of the characters. It’s about garbage. And Maggie is creating people out of garbage. She is making the inheritors mentioned in Time of Revelation. There are also creatures made of garbage in Concrete Jungle. And Maggie was full of moving insect legs, showing Corruption influence.

Quote from Adelard Dekker from Rotten Core: “I’ve spoken before about how keenly I’ve watched news of possible pandemics, which is where I suspect the Extinction may pull away from the Corruption during its emergence.” Adelard knows the Extinction is next to Corruption.

The Extinction is next to Desolation. That fits, nuclear weapons cause fire. Quote from Times of Revelation, describing corpses: “They were stiff, and desiccated, mummified by some process Bernadette could not begin to guess at, but that rendered their flesh like tightly packed ash” Ash as if they were burned.

The Simulation is next to the Flesh. The Flesh makes you think humans aren’t people, they are just meat. The Simulation makes you think humans aren’t people, they are just NPCs.

The Simulation is the next to the Spiral. Both make you question what is real. The Spiral makes you doubt your mind, the Simulation makes you doubt your world.

There are four episodes about the Simulation: Binary, Zombie, Cul-de-sac and Reflection.

In Binary Sergey Ushanka uploads his mind into a computer. He becomes a simulation and it hurts. There is influence by the Spiral, the statement giver isn’t sure if she’s going crazy. And there is influence by the Flesh. Ushanka uploads himself into a computer and then he eats the computer. So that’s cannibalism.

In Zombie the statement giver thinks other people aren’t real, they’re philosophical zombies, In other words they like simulations or NPCs. The man that follows her repeats the phrase “Just fine, thank you for asking” and says nothing else. Just like some NPCs in video games will say the same phrase over and over. The man is identical the three times they meet, except for his t-shirt changes color. Sometimes in video games some NPCs will be identical, except for some colors are changed. (Because it’s less work to recollar a character than to draw one from scratch.)

John thinks Cul-De-Sac is about the Lonely. And yes, the statement giver was lonely. But the people affected by the Lonely choose to be lonely, and the statement giver didn’t. His boyfriend broke up with him because of cheating and then he lost his friends because they sided with his boyfriend. 

I think the theme of the statement is unreality, not loneliness. In the Magnus Archives, when someone gets marked by a power it is because they made some wrong choice. The choice the statement giver makes is to return to the place he found dead and soulless. He drives back to his ex-boyfriend to deliver the moose, rather than send it by mail. He specifically wants to meet his ex. Not an act of loneliness, quite the opposite. Also he is returning a moose that is angular and creepy, in other words it is unreal.

When the statement escapes from the nightmare it’s because he got a phone call from his ex. And he says “I love you.” and that fits neatly with the Lonely. But it also fits with escape from the unreal. He escapes because he communicates with a real person.

The road signs says “Road” and “Street”. Generic and unreal. All the houses look the same. Like in a computer game. The statement giver wonders if they are the same house. Like in a computer game where one might reuse the code for a house many times.

The house he enters has stock photos. Unreal.

The people on TV have something wrong with their eyes, similar to the eyes of the zombies in Zombie. And it's a fake cooking show, and a fake infomercial.

The dead woman upstairs was someone who had social media profiles, and that nobody notices had died. Meaning she lived her life online. That sounds like she was lonely. But living online also makes her a good victim for the Simulation. Everyone she talked to was on a computer, she couldn’t know for sure if they were real.

The woman had killed herself with a mirror. I think what happened was she had looked into the mirror and seen that her eyes were wrong, like the eyes of the people on TV. And she had thought she was just a simulation, like everything around her. And therefore she killed herself. Or perhaps she wasn’t reflected in the mirror at all? Like in…

Reflection. Adelard speculated that this statement was about the Extinction, but I don’t think so. The protagonist was in a world that seemed unreal. A fun fair is artificial so that fits the theme. The people were playing games, which fits the theme via computer games maybe.

Adelard says “I can’t quite get past the detail that there was no reflection at all in the mirror he used to return.” It is almost at the end of Adelard’s letter, it’s clearly meant to be significant. The no reflection might be symbolic for the statement giver starting to think he isn’t real, which might be what happened to him after he gave the statement.

Reflection has influence by the Spiral, with the maze of mirrors. There is influence by the Flesh, with the cannibalism.

[joontier]

akin ka na lang (muli.) | drabble

translation: be mine (again.) 

synopsis: Dr. Kim Taehyung, locally known for his successful cardio-thoracic surgeries. One thing he isn’t known for though, is that he’s your two-timing ex who’s come to visit you in the new hospital you work at. 

pairings: taehyung x reader

rating: R (18+)

au: doctors!au; exes!au | genre: smut, slight angst, mentions of infidelity

warnings: exhibitionism, fingering, cunnilingus, degradation 

word count: 2.2k

request: by @taemaknae​​​ “silakbo track feat. taehyung + doctor!au (because we need more doctor aus hehehe” SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE BABE!! but here ya gooo! I hope u enjoy it luv hehehhehe

g/n: this is part of The Paraluman Playlist - a drabble game we’re holding for the whole month of August!!! Send in your requests lovelies;; ((why do i get the feeling that this could be a good prologue too ajsdfhoaiwjef)) also,,, this might be a part of a fic crossover with one im working on right now with jk wOOPS

navi. | m.list

“And that concludes the reports for this month’s cardiac surgery reports.” 

Ending your presentation with one last click of your pointer, you turn to your fellow doctors, resisting the strong urge to roll your eyes. Some of the seniors are already asleep, while those who are a closer to your age are obviously bored to the bone.

You’re seriously considering if you want to even bother asking the audience if they have any further questions when no one was listening in the first place anyways. Well, maybe except for the chairman who had been all ears the whole time.

Meetings like these are just a major waste of time – time you could have used to sleep your fatigue away after having completed a five-hour open heart surgery last night. If it only weren’t for the hospital’s board of directors that implemented this scheme.

The Ministry of Health and Welfare had only encouraged all hospitals to hold conferences like this to support medical-related research, but The Woocheon Group, after having been praised by the ministry itself for pioneering experimental medicine and clinical trials, upped its game, scheduling these quarterly conferences to monthly ones.  

This plan would have sounded engaging to most third parties, but to those who were chosen to create reports, such as yourself, do not find these meetings most pleasant. After all, these month-end reports will also be uploaded to Woocheon’s online journals. Not that these doctors would even read any of those even if published both online or in paper. Unless of absolute necessity as reference, of course.

Your eyes scan over the audience consisting of at least forty doctors until you lock eyes with the one and only Kim Taehyung - infamous for his recently successful cardio-thoracic surgery on a twenty-two year old athlete back at Daegu Medical Center. Unfortunately for you, he’s also the same man who cheated on you for another colleague a few years back. 

He was the reason you left DMC in the first place, unable to continue your career back at the center with such an unhealthy, hate-conducive environment. Obviously, you knew having to work with a cheater and having to face him for at least six days a week wasn’t going to do you any good. Hence, your moving to Seoul to officially pursue your fellowship at Woocheon Medical City. What you never expected though, was Taehyung coming all the way from Daegu to sit in with Woocheon’s internal conferences. 

For what? Why was he here? What reason does he have to suddenly show up like this? 

Whatever his business here was absolutely none of yours, and you promised yourself you were going to be the last person to concern yourself with such. 

“Any further questions?” 

You see Taehyung’s hand raise hesitantly, but retracts it quickly as another raises his hand. As you address the inquiry, you still feel Taehyung’s gaze locked on yours. Nobody dares to ask another question, not wanting to prolong the useless conference any longer. Thankfully, the hospital’s chairman ends the meeting shortly after that.

As you pack your things up while the rest of the crowd files out of the room, you feel someone approach you. In fact, you feel two - with both of the presences extremely familiar. When you look up from your desk, you see Taehyung and Chairman Jung Hoseok nearing the podium you stood behind from.

Taehyung lets the chairman approach you first. Good, at least the man still has a little bit of dignity left in him. “Dr. _______, great presentation today,” Hoseok applauds, “You are a blessing to this hospital,” the chairman adds, placing a hand on the small of your back. 

“All in a day’s work, Chairman Jung,” you give the man a warm smile. Taehyung notices the small gesture and diverts his gaze quickly, as if he was caught watching something private. You smile inwardly, wanting to drop as many hints as possible to let the blonde-haired man he isn't welcome here. 

The chairman finally takes notice of his presence as he turns around, much to your dismay. “Ah! Dr. Kim Taehyung! I wasn’t informed of your arrival… anyways, welcome to The Woocheon Medical City and may I introduce to you one of our best cardiology consultants here…” 

“Dr. __________, of course.” A wide smile forms on Taehyung’s lips, reaching out his hand for a handshake. You hesitate for a split-second - torn between not wanting to be within arm’s reach of your traitorous ex-boyfriend, or maintaining your usual professional demeanor. Maybe it’s best for you to go with the latter, and pretend you two are meeting for the first time. 

“We were colleagues back in Daegu Medical Center.” 

Or maybe not. 

Hoseok’s secretary comes over just in time, informing him of a friend  who wishes to meet him outside as well as the rest of the day’s schedule. “Oh, guess I’ll have to meet that one then,” Hoseok says, turning to the both of you. “Well, I’ll have to leave you both for a moment. I’ll see you both around.” With a short wave, the chairman leaves the two of you to “catch up”. 

“_________. Can we talk?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Dr. Kim. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I still have plenty of things to do.” Deciding not to meet his eyes, you scan the room, sending a silent plea to the last doctor who was getting ready to leave, wishing that he won’t leave you alone with this man. 

Taehyung blocks your sight with his body. Clenching your jaw, you tilt your head at him, waiting on what he has to say now. “Come back to me, please…” A scoff escapes your lips as you roll your eyes at Taehyung.

“I’d even beg on my knees, _______. I’ll do whatever you want, baby.” 

“You on your knees?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I am a changed man.” 

“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung.” 

“By all means, ________, please.” Rolling your eyes at your two-timing ex, you continue packing up, making sure you won't forget anything else on the desk. Funny how he can even extract innuendos from your display of hatred. At this point, Taehyung had already rounded the table and is now standing beside you.

You figure he’s fiddling with the projector (for all you care), that is, until you feel his warm breath fanning against your nape. His close proximity instantly gives you a chill and before you can turn to face him, he already has you trapped between his body and the podium. 

Taehyung can't hide the smirk that graces his lips when he sees you gulp. Fueled by your reaction, he proceeds to reach for the clicker by the opposite end of the desk, bending you a little bit forward, all the while pressing his erection against your ass. 

When he feels you hold your breath in, it only spurs him on, slowly grinding against you. “T-Tae…” you whisper out brokenly, weakly pushing away his firm hold on your waist. “You’re not…” All coherent thoughts get drained from your head when he takes your breasts in his hands, kneading them gently through your shirt,  “...s-supposed to do….” 

The door opens all of a sudden and the janitor enters, holding a plastic roll in his hands. Taehyung abruptly takes his hands off you, placing them inside his pockets instead. Thankfully, the janitor only takes notice of you and Taehyung’s presence after checking the trash bin by the last row and not when the latter had his hands all over you. “Oh, sorry Doc! I thought everybody had left already. I’ll just come back later.” Bowing once in your direction, he leaves quickly just as he had arrived. 

As you turn around to confront Taehyung about his brazen behavior, he’s already there, suddenly connecting his lips with yours. Nearly loosing your footing at the unexpected action, Taehyung instinctively places his hands on your back, pushing you further towards him. You place your palms against his chest, not wanting to get scandalized by making out with a guest. “Taehyung…”

The blonde-haired man pulls away from the kiss, only to attach his lips on that certain spot on your neck that ultimately gets you weak in the knees. ‘Does he remember?’ You think, mind getting hazy over the feeling of his pliant mouth on your skin after all these years. Then again, your mind betrays you with the vivid image of him fucking your friend in your very room – inside the same apartment you shared with that friend he cheated on you with.

Your judgment gets clouded once more as he fumbles with your shirt, unbuttoning the first one – enough to leave a hickey just above the valley of your breast. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth to hold in the moan the threatens to escape your mouth, your fist tightens around the fabric of his collar.

Sliding the swiveling chair from underneath, Taehyung pushes you down onto the cushion of the seat. As he kneels to the ground, your heart beats rapidly in your chest, the anticipation causing to form a few beads of sweat by your hairline. Pleasure shoots through your core as he hikes your skirt up, rubbing his hands all over your thighs.

Having him touch you like this after so many years ignited that fire inside you once more, the almost foreign feeling ultimately driving you close to madness.

Fuck, you missed this. Not him. Not Taehyung. Whatever thing this was with Taehyung that was so deliriously enticing: this magnetizing aura that drew everyone to him without him having to even try. Unfortunately for you, it had also drawn unwanted attention from perpetually thirsty women. You missed these feverish kisses, featherlight touches that sent electricity pulsing through your veins.

You repeat the phrase in your head like a fervent prayer. You miss the idea of this Taehyung, the Taehyung that ravished you on a regular basis, like you were the irresistible flame to the metaphorical moth that was him.

“Tell me to stop, baby, and I will,” Taehyung rasps, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

“No panties? Still my naughty little slut I see,” Taehyung remarks, as he sees your naked core. It’s shameful how you’re embarrassingly wet within a short period of time, but you no longer put much thought on it, especially with a handsome man like Taehyung on his knees for you.

With dilated pupils, Taehyung looks up and you knew you had both reminisced the time this same scenario happened in his office at DMC. The infamous surgeon draws you out of your reverie as he plants kisses along the expanse of your thigh.

Urgently wanting to fully express his intentions, Taehyung wastes no time, bunching up your skirt by your hips and diving in to flatten his tongue against your wet core. You gasp at the contact and you practically feel him smile at your responsiveness.

Taehyung starts with a slow pace, letting his tongue swirl all over your cunt. “Oh!” you breath out when he flicks your nether bud with his tongue. Taehyung keeps your legs apart with left hand while he dips a finger between your folds with the other. As you shudder at the sensation, Taehyung continues his ministrations, pushing his finger in, reveling in the way your walls clench around his digit.

“You’re still so tight after all these years,” the man says, diving in once more as he familiarizes himself once more of your addictive essence, licking and sucking at your core for all its worth like it’s his last day on the planet.

Just as you were about to climax, three knocks on the door resonate throughout the empty room, and as you push your thighs together and signaling Taehyung to keep quiet underneath the table, the door opens one more time and the chairman’s head pokes through the side, eyes scanning the room to look for you. Fixing your appearance discreetly, you put on a smile on your face, ignoring the frustration that came with not being able to orgasm properly.

“Wanna go grab lunch with me, sweetheart?” 

“Sure. I’ll be out in a few, babe. Just… gotta go through some emails,” comes your breathless answer. “Okay darling. I’ll be waiting for you by my office.” When you feel Taehyung’s fingers start to dance back up along your legs, you swat them away, the realization of your unfaithful acts finally dawning on you. 

“Stop it Taehyung and get up from there,” you tell him, pulling down your silk skirt that’s shamelessly bunched up around your hips. As you tame the creases on your skirt, the light above you hits the rock on your fourth finger. The gleam hits your eyes perfectly, the diamond on your engagement ring seemingly mocking you of your infidelity. 

For the sake of your sanity, you don’t say another word to Taehyung who also had his eyes trained on your ring. Quickly you grab your things off the desk, not sparing your dejected ex-boyfriend a look. As you reach the door, you rest your head on the hard plastic, “I’m happy now, Taehyung. Please respect that.” With a sigh, you open the door, not daring to take a look back. 

Taehyung nods silently, looking away from your figure as a tear rolls down his cheek, regret and longingness weighing on him heavily.

[questersrest]

apologies for the just talking about junk lately but my brain’s on infodump o’clock. i really want to talk about dq9 grottoes and alchemiracles. so here’s a wall of text that’s been in the back of my brain for around 9 years.

i always thought this stuff was insane and i’m dying for a remake so i can get into this again.

so.

quest #015 collapsus’ call

at the summit of the heights of loneliness, you will find a man, christopher collapsus, who climbed all the way to the top but collapsed just short of zere rocks. you need to bring him a special medicine. as a reward he will give you your first treasure map: granite tunnel of woe lv. 1.

a treasure map will depict a red X drawn on part of a map, this will be one of several locations on the overworld but it’ll be fairly zoomed in so it might take some thinking to figure out where it is. when you stand in that location, a prompt to press A will appear and when you do, a cave entrance will appear. these caves are called grottoes. inside you’ll find several floors with monsters and chests and then a boss floor.

when you beat the boss they will drop another map. it’ll be random but influenced by 3 factors:

a) the level of the map just beaten.

b) the hero’s max level. the hero’s level is stored separate for each vocation so if you’ve hit level 99 as a minstrel but are currently a level 30 warrior, your max level is 99.

c) the hero’s max revocation. when the hero reaches level 99 as a vocation they can revocate, resetting that level to 1 and gaining a little +1 next to the level. my max revocations was a +3 on gladiator.

there are like over 32,000 maps with over 200 quality variations if i remember right, the exact total is over 8 million possibilities with these varying features:

a) it’s location on the world map.

b) it’s environment theme: ruins 40%, cave 30%, fire 10%, ice 10%, or water 10%

c) the number of floors before the boss floor: 2-16

d) the layout of each floor including the placement of any chests. if you’ve ever played a mystery dungeon game you know what to expect with randomly generated dungeons.

e) the starting monster rank of the grotto. monsters appear from a pool, there are 12 ranks and each environment has its own pool of monsters for each rank. the monster rank can only start at up to rank 9 but it increases every 4 floors so to find rank 12 monsters, you’ll need a grotto that starts on 9 and has at least 13 floors. many monsters in the higher ranks are exclusive to grottoes so if you want to complete your bestiary... well i never in 700+ hours found a water grotto with rank 12 monsters. monster rank on each floor also determines what ranks of chest can appear there. there are 10 ranks of chest. each weapon used for making the 5 star weapons has a 1% chance to be in a rank 10 chest. there’s one for each of the 12 weapon types. but even on a monster rank 12 floor it’s not guaranteed to have rank 10 chests. (chests by the way refresh when grotto is closed and reopened).

f) it’s boss, of which there are 12 possible. each boss is more difficult than the previous and so it is related to the map’s level, so dw, a level 1 map can’t have the final grotto boss, you won’t be ready for that.

there is some lore to the bosses. the goddess celestria, daughter of zenus (who was slain by corvus at the beginning of the story), said her father must still be alive in some capacity or the world would cease to be. every grotto boss has some dialogue before the battle commences. fowleye specifically explains that zenus shattered into 10 pieces which took form as the first 10 grotto bosses. the 11th is the demon that the supreme sage sealed in a book with himself long ago, the supreme sage, still in the book, is a character who gives you the quests related to the sage vocation. the 12th is greygnarl who was slain by barbarus in the story but at the end his shadow was shown hinting at his return. in his dialogue he talks about himself, barbarus, and styrmling who remains somewhat of a mystery. greygnarl actually drops an yggdrasil leaf instead of another map.

each boss has 3 items they can drop. a 100% drop: another treasure map. a (i actually can’t remember, i think it’s 5 or 10)% drop chance: a certain pretty good piece of gear. a 2% drop chance for a piece of armour used for 5 star armour. most armour categories can be split into multiple sub-categories e.g. handwear that focuses on defence or deftness so there’s one for each sub-category: 1 shield, 2 headwear, 2 handwear, 3 bodywear, 1 legwear, 2 footwear. each boss has a specific one e.g. the first grotto boss, equinox, has a 2% chance to drop the vesta gauntlets: defence handwear. greygnarl is an exception to the rules, i don’t remember all the specifics and can’t find details at this time but i do remember is his 100% drop is an yggdrasil leaf and one of his drops is a certain legacy boss map, i’ll get to that in a bit.

treasure map names are clues as to the details of the map before explored but usually don’t guarantee anything (except a few environments, if it says “waterway” it’s definitely water).

there are a few other weird factors for the probability for monsters appearing on floors resulting in the ruby path of doom map that got extremely popular to share in japan and got referenced in dq11s because of the one floor with nothing but metal king slimes. i myself found a grotto which had a floor with absolutely no monsters whatsoever, it did however have 2 chests on that floor, at least one of which was rank 10.

now say you get one of these special pieces of gear, how do you make the 5 star gear?

agates of evolution are items than can only be made through alchemy and are only used for alchemy. the ingredients are 2x ethereal stone, 2x sainted soma, 1x chronocrystal. ethereal stones and sainted somas can be obtained through a few means but the easiest is through further alchemy with the ingedients being available through monster drops and sparkles found in the world. chronocrystals can only be bought, there is an npc in a cave that can only be reached in the postgame the only thing he sells are chronocrystals for 50,000 gold each, the most expensive item in the game.

there are a few special treasure maps, legacy boss maps, that lead to a grotto that is only a boss floor, a boss from a previous game. we have: dragonlord, malroth, baramos, zoma, estark, psaro, nimzo, murdaw, mortamor, nokturnus, orgodemir, dhoulmagus, and rhapthorne. the first you’ll likely come across is baramos’ map lv. 1 as a quest reward. the one greygnarl drops is dragonlord’s. when you defeat a legacy boss, they will return and ask to gain experience too, if you agree the map will level up. as a legacy boss levels up, the drops will increase in chance or change entirely. be careful as some maps you can only get once unless shared from another player, you could lock yourself out from some items. the key things they drop are armour to dress up as heroes from the previous games and maps of other legacy bosses. some legacy bosses are only available from the dlc quests or dropped by other legacy bosses that are only available from the dlc quests and since the online service was discontinued in 2014 they are now almost unavailable (if you’re genuinely interested bc you missed out, shoot me an ask and i can explain that one).

then there’s the orbs. every legacy boss can drop one of six coulored orbs. as their rarest drop, this won’t change, the chance can just be increased with their level, the only exception is nokturnus who changes which orb he drops with his level. it’s the same 6 orbs that appeared as a plot device in dq3, alongside a 7th in dq8, and would go on to appear in dq11. all six orbs are thankfully available among the legacy bosses available without online services.

each of the special items can be alchemised with an agate of evolution and a certain orb to make an improved version that looks identical. e.g. 1x stardust sword + 1x agate of evolution + 1x silver orb makes a nebula sword. getting the ingredients is both expensive and time consuming BUT it goes further. 1x nebula sword + 3x agate of evolution + 3x silver orb will make a further improved and identical but still only 4 star supernova sword. most of the time. see when you try to make this further improved item, krak pot will alert you he feels an alchemiracle coming on. he will state a chance as i think 10%, 20%, or 30% which i think can be influenced but i’m afraid i don’t know the details. you are then forced to save the game with the result determined so you can’t reset and try again. if it should succeed, you will make a 5 star item, the best item of that kind in the game, a stronger palette swap of the other items. e.g. the hypernova sword.

should it fail and you want to try again, you can alchemise the failed alchemiracle item e.g. the supernova sword with a rest stone to return it to the first item e.g. the stardust sword. reset stones can be bought from the mini medal collector of dq9 once you can reached the final reward.

so here’s the procedure.

1. grind grottoes and their bosses for this stupid rare gear. 2% drop rate has nothing on shiny pokemon, sure, except you do have to go through the entire grotto again every time.

2. grind legacy bosses for orbs.

3. grind materials for agates including money for chronocrystals.

4. pray to the rng gods once more for an alchemiracle.

5. cry because you spent 100 hours on this and it didn’t work.

6. give in to cheating via rng abuse, the hoimi table’s out there still.

have fun

[danishmiilk]

so now im watching running man china and running man korea collaborating and it’s like seeing the pieces of my childhood fall together and click, because they fit perfectly. 

and now i shall write a very unnecessary, very sad essay on why running man has been essential to my life thus far.

it’s been- how many years since i’ve watched running man? ten? i’ve watched every single episode running man has come up with - i mean the korean one, obviously, because my mother was a HUGE fan and guess what? now i am too. it’s one of the only constants in my childhood, considering i didn’t get to watch tv (at aLLLLL) and didn’t really have that many friends, and i eventually got really, really attached. there’s just something in jaeseok’s teasing, kwangsoo’s cheating, jongkook’s threats and seokjin’s pathetic jokes that get me laughing every single time. i look forward to every single monday because that means a new episode of running man’s out on viu, and i still remember crying when gary left, because that’s- that’s just not right. he’s always been there, and now he isn’t, but i’ve come to terms with somin and sechan- HECK I SHIP THEM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH UGH. i can’t put into words how much it’s meant for me, i really can’t. it’s just- my childhood best friend who’s never left me. it’s my comfort show, and i don’t think anything will ever take its place. i have mood swings when it comes to shows, and even if i leave it for a few months, i always come back. to watch every episode i’ve missed. the teamwork, the friendship, the way they know each other? my heart is melting.

i actually watched a bit of running man china with my grandparents when i was just a little kid, and oh my god. it was- in every way except the cast and the language, which only makes it all the more beautifully unique- running man. and the best part is, i actually understood perfectly everything they were saying. i never, ever thought i’d be watching it one day though, because my heart has always belonged with the korean show, but then this year i discovered cai xukun. and justin huang. and i think it went downhill from there, because then i discovered keep running (running man china) and well- lucas was a regular lAST season, and then i watched both this year’s and last year’s and im watching the one that’s coming out every friday- and wow. i don’t know why i haven’t watched it earlier. it felt like home, and that’s the only way i can describe it. it felt like i belonged there, belonged with it, forever. the word games made so much more sense, as did the places and the jokes they made- i didn’t even have to use english subtitles! and there’re handsome men. but i ended up falling in love with the whole cast, even the not-handsome men, and now i’m watching back season by season.

as it turns out, language isn’t a problem anymore. partly for nct, partly because it’d be good for me, but mostly for running man, i learnt korean this year. and i may not understand dramas perfectly, but running man? oh, i understand that perfectly well. the way they converse has become ingrained in me.

running man is my past, present, and future.

so if anyone asks, i won’t stop watching it anytime soon.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. also, do you ever imagine the online person you’re talking to as your profile picture, or is it just me? because i am one heck of a beautiful boy.

[andaleduardo]

How to Break Your Heart and Make Sure It Stays Broken

2. Send them your favorite songs through Bluetooth    

- Read on ao3

Summary:  12:28 a.m.

Spaghetti: It’s not gonna be weird today

Richie: absolutely

Spaghetti: We’re not gonna make it awkward

Richie: definitely not

Spaghetti: Yeah we got this

Everything is just fucking fine.

7th January 2011, Friday

10:30 a.m.

“Congratulations, you just called the best family in town. What can I help you with?”

“Hu-hey Richie.”

“Billy boy! Happy birthday, man!”

The sound of Bill’s chuckles turn into wind over the phone. “Thanks.”

“So, what’s up?”

“I wanted to check if you’re s-ss-still coming today?”

“Course I am, what time do you want me there?”

“Come around 3. It’s t-too cold to go out so we’re just guh-gonna stay in the attic.”

“Well alright, chap. I’ll be there.”

“And don’t forget my dad’s driving everyone home.”

Richie did, in fact, forget about that.

“Oh yeah, right.”

There’s a second of silence before Bill speaks again. “Are you okay? You huh-haven’t been online lately.”

“Just peachy. You know how it gets, holiday season, kinda busy ‘round here.”

Although Bill knows Richie usually spends the holidays with just his parents (small family’s downside) he doesn’t say anything.

“We’ll have s-some fun today, don’t worry.”

“Indeed we will. See you at 3, birthday boy.”

“See you, Rich.”

And he hangs up.

  12:28 a.m.

Spaghetti: It’s not gonna be weird today

Richie: absolutely

Spaghetti: We’re not gonna make it awkward

Richie: definitely not

Spaghetti: Yeah we got this

  Richie is absolutely exhausted.

The entire week was a failed attempt at learning how to deal with the situation.

Sleep is an utter joke with a mind that runs as if it’s training for a marathon. Looking at food makes him nauseous, not eating food makes him nauseous, but eating it makes it worse.

Perhaps it would help if he could untie the knot in his throat, but then again he can’t cry properly when his parents are always around and poking a head through his bedroom door.

He wants school to start, he doesn’t want school to start. He wants them to go back to work, he doesn’t want to be left alone with his feelings.

And on top of it all he knows he’s overreacting. Absolutely over-the-top reacting. He’s fifteen. It’s not like he knows love.

But doesn’t he?

It hurts and it’s love. It burns as it makes its way up his throat and it’s love. It was amazing while he kept his mouth shut and now everything seems to be falling on him and his chest is heavy and caving and hungrier than his stomach and he caused it and it’s love.

Unrequited love, if you will. A fancy word for a fucked up thing.

To top it off, Eddie doesn’t stop.

 January 1st, 3:45 p.m.

Spaghetti: I hate you

Spaghetti: No wait I don’t hate hate you

Spaghetti: But

Spaghetti: Ugh

Spaghetti: I’m gonna be thinking about this now!

Spaghetti: And I don’t want us to change

Spaghetti: Like, I said “I hate you” and I would never second guess that before but now I feel like I need to tell you “I don’t actually hate you” because

Spaghetti: Well

Spaghetti: I don’t know why

Richie: sorry

Spaghetti: !

Spaghetti: Stop apologizing

Richie: … i really wanna say sorry again

Spaghetti: I don’t blame you

Spaghetti: It’s not like we control our feelings

 Damn right, they don’t. Richie isn’t sure how to answer that, so he doesn’t. But Eddie brings it up again one day later.

 January 2nd, 9:10 p.m.

Spaghetti: I think I kinda knew

Richie: ??? are u serious

Spaghetti: Well yeah

Richie: am I that predictable?

Spaghetti: You’re the least predictable person in the whole world Richie

Spaghetti: Except with the mom jokes

Spaghetti: I can always see those coming

Richie: yet you walk right onto them every time

Spaghetti: Fuck you.

Spaghetti: It’s just that the others aren’t that subtle

Richie: the losers?

Spaghetti: Yeah they try too hard

Spaghetti: Tease us a lot for being close and saying things and leaving us alone everywhere

Spaghetti: Guess I kinda wondered why they did that if they didn’t know something I didn’t

Richie: uh, they kinda don’t tho

Richie: at least I never told them

Spaghetti: Wait really?

Richie: maybe they’re just bored?

Spaghetti: Oh

Spaghetti: Maybe

 It’s only been a week so far (the longest week of Richie’s life) and Eddie texts him every day with the same topic. This, as predicted, isn’t helping the situation much.

It’s Tuesday. There’s Richie, staring at his cereal while Maggie studies him from the other side of the table and surprise, a brand new text from Eddie.

It’s Wednesday. There’s Richie, staring at the news channel because he forgot to press the button on the tv remote when he sat down on the couch 6 minutes ago. And then there’s his dad, looking at him from his vintage recliner and coming up with ten different ways to start a conversation without actually starting one. The phone’s screen lights up with against his leg with a new notification. Yes, from Eddie.

Finally, it’s Friday. Out of habit, Richie leaves the phone on the bathroom countertop as he showers. It takes a lot of self-control not to pull all his hair out while washing it when the phone vibrates against the counter. Once, then twice, then thrice. And so on to make up the total of 9 new messages.

Thank God he doesn’t walk out of the shower right then to check them out of curiosity, because 10 minutes later he’s sitting on the toilet seat and staring at “I hate you” for so long his mom actually knocks on the door and asks if he died in there.

He didn’t die in there, he’s just crying. Buy hey, mom, that’s the dream!

All the messages fall in the same lines. Eddie doesn’t want this to be awkward. He doesn’t want this to be weird. He doesn’t want anything to change.

Logically, Richie draws conclusions. He fucked up big, ruined them forever and now everything is inconvenient for Eddie. It’s not that hard to get it after six variations of:

 ‘You’re not gonna be different around me now right?’

 How can he not be different around Eddie now?

What if their knees touch and Eddie thinks it’s on purpose? What if Richie smiles in his direction and Eddie takes it as flirting? Christ. Richie doesn’t even know how to flirt! Should he sit far away from him now? Should he sit by his side like always and have Eddie think he’s doing it out of interest?

Richie didn’t just make everything inconvenient for Eddie, he made everything inconvenient for himself, too.

However, it’s Bill’s birthday, and that’s more important than a broken heart.

  5:48 p.m.

 “You’re cheating!” Everyone jumps on their seats when Stan shouts and slams his hand on the coffee table. It sends all the plastic houses on the monopoly board in different directions.

“What? No I’m not!” Bev defends herself.

“Nah.” Mike crosses his arms. “I don’t believe that.”

“You don’t believe she’s cheating?” Stan angrily inquires.

“I don’t believe she’s not cheating.” Says Mike.

“I am not fucking cheating, you guys are just awful at managing money.”

Stan’s chin drops in her direction. “You- I manage money wonderfully, thank you very much-”

While the arguing continues, Ben takes his time putting all the houses back on their places. Bill tries to make them stop fighting while Mike destroys all those attempts by teaming up with Bev and Stan alternately. Eddie furiously counts and recounts his money, being the one closest to bankrupt. And Richie silently organizes the contents of the bank. He doesn’t like monopoly that much.

“Maybe our bank over there has something to do with this?” Richie feels everyone’s eyes on him so he looks up at Mike from above his glasses.

“How could you ever think such things about me, Mikey?” He dramatically puts down the stack of property cards he had been sorting. “I do nothing but humble work for this community and this is how I’m treated. Unbelievable.”

“Richie, I swear.” Stan glares at him. “You won’t make me lose, even if you cheat.”

“How can I be cheating? I’m not even playing.”

“You’re passing Bev extra money!”

“Geez.” Eddie moans in annoyance. “We forgot Stan gets off on Monopoly.”

At that, Richie barks out a laugh, unable to keep it in but still trying to by slapping a hand over his mouth.

“Okay, fine.” Stan crosses his arms. “I wasn’t even the one suggesting this game, I voted for scrabble.”

“Oh, so the only other game you get off on?” Surprisingly, it slips from Richie’s mouth. He wasn’t at all expecting jokes to be coming from him today.

It’s just wonderfully entertaining to piss off Stan. At this point, the boy’s gotten himself so worked up that his whole face is pink.

“I’m going to shove birthday cake up your a-”

“-Wow! Okay let’s all chill.” Ben kindly tries to stop them.

Richie lifts up a hand full of fake-cash and makes a jerking off motion with the other, which finally triggers Stan into motion. He manages to jump away from the table on the exact moment Stan reaches over to try and jam his hand on his weakest spot, the armpits. But in the process, his knees collide with the bottom of the coffee table and all the board pieces end up flying everywhere. Again.

Ben throws his hands up. “Thank you so very much for that.”

“We will never f-ffinish a monopoly game…”

  6:23 p.m.

“How about Uno?” Ben suggests. “You can’t cheat at Uno, right?”

After being chased by Stan around the attic everyone ended up scattered around, staring at the ceiling and discussing which game to play next. So far it’s been twenty minutes of quiet chatting.

“You can grab three cards when you get a plus four.” Richie offers. “You can also slide in a six while playing some nines, might get lucky.”

There’s a brief second of silence and contemplation.

“How you can turn Uno into a sex joke still amazes me.” Eddie frowns at the ceiling.

Richie shrugs. “I’m pretty amazing overall.” Sweat pools up on the back of his neck with the effort of trying to sound so nonchalant. Richie wants to scream at the normality of his afternoon. Why does life keep going when you’re dealing with heartache? Isn’t the world supposed to stop spinning after you get friendzoned? Show a little compassion, earth.

“I still can’t believe your mom let you keep the phone.”

At Mike’s words, Eddie flops around on his bean bag, looking like a hanged potato sack. “Right? Didn’t see that coming, either.”

“Does she really go through it, though?”

Recently, Eddie’s contact list was updated to include everyone. His mom complained that he didn’t need to be in contact with “those friends” of his any more than he already does. She’s obviously wrong.

Eddie groans in agreement. “She keeps finding the lamest excuses until I give it to her. Then she checks whatever it is she wants and gives it back.”

A wave of fear passes through Richie. Almost on cue, Eddie steals a glance at him and adds. “But I archive the stuff she doesn’t need to read. And I keep Facebook as a hidden app.” Proud of his schemes, he smirks to himself.

Richie sinks back on his bean bag, slightly relieved. The past week of awful sleep is weighting him down, tying him to his worst and holding him back from pretending to be okay a little better. With time, he hopes to learn how to put this behind his back, but right now, Eddie is right in front of him.

“Hey, by the way. Can any of you tell me how to download songs?” The boy at matter asks.

“You know thu-that’s illegal, r-right?”

“Oh.” For a moment, he stares at Bill with a conflicted expression. “Well, I still want my music.”

“Richie, don’t you have a fuck ton of songs downloaded?”

“Yup. Illegal downloads are my number one occupation, Marsh.” Then, he gets it. “Oh, you’re right. Eds, turn Bluetooth on.”

He regrets saying ‘Eds’ oh so quickly, overly nervous that he isn’t allowed to say it anymore. Not that he was ever allowed to say it before, if the way Eddie complains about it 90% of the time means anything. Quickly, Richie spirals into thoughts of their bickering coming to an end, or even worse, becoming one sided and sad if one of them doesn’t feed into it. That would leave the other one hanging, and Richie was already left hanging, Richie is still hanging and he will be hanging on these feelings, on this rejection, for life. That’s what he has to accept, that he loves the only person in the world he could ever love and they don’t love him back. That his future seems sad from the present. That Eddie might drift away when he realizes they can’t mess around like best friends anymore, even if he had said he wouldn’t do that and it wouldn’t happen. But what if he does? What if it happens? Where does that leave him? What is he supposed to-

“Don’t call me that, asshole. And how the fuck do I do that?”

Oh.

The way Eddie speaks drips of familiarity. Just the way it always was with them, just the way it will always be. Richie can’t decide if that’s good or bad, but it pulls him together enough to talk.

“See that weird looking B icon up there?” He waits for Eddie’s answer but the other boy is looking at his phone as if he could catch it on fire with just his eyes.

Richie bites the inside of his cheek, breathes in some bravery and pushes himself up from the bean bag.

“Here,” he walks over and crouches down at Eddie’s side, quickly opening the Bluetooth settings and pairing up their phones while paying too much attention to the space between their hands. Just to make sure they don’t touch. “Do you wanna pick out the songs you want?” He starts giving his phone to Eddie but gets a headshake in return.

“Uh no, that’s fine.” Eddie says, turning his head and therefore putting their faces incredibly close. Richie barely catches himself from falling on his butt right there, and Eddie leans away quickly, obviously not meaning to cause any of this. “I- uh, just chose the ones you think I’d like.”

Richie nods stupidly and rushes back to his seat. While he goes through his music library and picks off songs, all he can think about is ‘This is so hard, too hard, way more difficult than I could possibly imagine and I don’t know if I can go about my life pretending everything is fine when it all feels anything but that.’

“How about Ludo? There’s no way you can cheat at that…”

Simply as if a switch was flipped, Richie multitasks and answers Ben by listing off all the possible ways to cheat at Ludo.

And to the outsider eyes, everything is just fine.

Everything is fine as they order pizza and Richie and Eddie have to ask each other if they can still share their regular favorite, olive and pepperoni. Everything is fine while conversation flows at dinner, except Richie puts his half of the pizza on a plate instead of sharing the box between their laps, and Eddie doesn’t question it. Everything is fine as everyone watches a movie after, and there’s no one to lean his head on Richie’s shoulder, or jab an elbow in his arm when they itch to comment certain scenes.

Then Bill’s dad comes upstairs to remind them it’s time to drive everyone home. And for the first time in his life, Richie is thrilled to hear those words.

On their way home, Eddie sits in the back, earphones plugging his ears deaf to his surroundings. Richie wonders if he should have left out all the love songs, now it’s too late for that. But it’s fine, right?

Everything is just fucking fine.

 perma taglist: @constantreaderfool   @mrs-vh  @eds-trashmouth @girasol-eddie  @reddieforlove @madi-personal  @cheekaspbrak

[feralrosie]

Under the Mistletoe

Happy holidays @bambinamio ♥ 

The Wayhaven Chronicles Mason/F!Detective (Ziofra Shepard) Words: 4,413 Rating: General Audiences Tags: Holidays, fluff, soft!Mason Read on AO3

The holiday season affects everyone: makes Felix hyped, Ziofra build and decorate a huge tree, Adam to smile... And even makes Mason soft(er).

The sound of incessant shooting echoed through the Warehouse, sprinkled with shouting and cursing. What sounded like a war zone, however, was no more than a friendly competition. In the living room, Felix had convinced the Detective to play with him only a couple rounds of some new video game he bought, but what should have taken only thirty minutes was lasting for over an hour.

"You're cheating!" Ziofra accused, almost throwing the controller away from her on the couch where she sat, "There's no way you're this good."

By her side, the vampire laughed out loud, using his elbow to push her body playfully, a warm grin on his face, "C'mon Detective, don't be such a bad loser. Just believe that it's my incredible eye-hand coordination and years of Agency training."

The woman rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, frowning, “You don’t even use guns in the Agency, how would this be part of your training?” He had won almost every single match  of the colourful battle royale game so far, with few exceptions when her victory was guaranteed by special items and a lot of luck. There was no doubt Ziofra was very skilled at it and, in normal circumstances, she would have easily won, but the vampire’s reflexes were too fast for her.

“Then maybe I’m just awesome.” Felix grinned, provoking her even further.

“Fuck you,” she rolled her eyes and chuckled, pretending to be much more offended than she actually was, “But it is still not fair. I will consider myself the winner just because I’m not cheating like you are.”

His laugh was cheery and loud, contrasting with the chilly afternoon outside of the Warehouse. It was a clear day, but the faint sunlight wasn’t enough to melt the thin sheet of ice forming on top of the grass, creating a beautiful glittering winter scene. The living room was much cosier, shining in warm light from the fireplace, cream coloured fur rugs and spare blankets on the couch. Whatever the reason Nate decided to rearrange the space, she was sure that Mason’s almost nonexistent resistance to cold had something to do with it.

Not only, for the last week Felix had been gathering materials and decorations for their home, after finally getting permission to host a small holiday party for the team. The living room was packed with colourful fairy lights hanging everywhere, garlands on every door, star ornaments and even tiny figures of reindeers, nutcrackers and one unicorn were scattered around—surely he watched a few classic holiday movies for inspiration. By the fireplace, there were five stockings, each one with their names embroidered by hand, and her own right in the middle between Nate’s and Mason’s. The entire Warehouse was looking like a fantasy Winterland paradise.

But it was the sight of a huge box of a plastic tree sitting by the window that got Felix an idea, “Say, Ziofra… Why don’t we set this once and for all with a bet?''

Frowning, the detective raised an eyebrow as her eyes studied him, looking for any signs of malice in his voice, but the piercing amber eyes and bright smile gave nothing out. He was truly just having a lot of fun.

“What do you have in mind?” She finally asked.

“Let’s play one more time. If you win, I will consider that all my points are invalid and you’ll be the winner of it all. This game will surpass all others.”

“And if I lose?” The detective explored his terms as if dealing with the mafia, which in that case wasn’t too far from the truth. She knew too well that Felix could be very persuasive.

“If you lose, you help me set up the holiday decorations.”

“What, as if you needed more?” Ziofra scoffed, opening her arms to draw his attention to all the scandalous scenarios around her.

“Of course! I still haven’t set up the holiday tree,” he pointed at the partially open box in the corner, “Nate didn’t let me get a real one because of, quote and quote, ‘fire hazard’, so I had to wait for this to arrive by mail.”

“A wise man.”

“I guess,” he shrugged, still smiling. It was obvious that nothing could ever bother the youngest member of the team, hyped to be spending his first holiday season in a home of his own with the people he most cared about. “So, do we have a bet?”

“Ok, fine! Whatever.”

“Nice!” Felix shouted, shifting on his spot on the couch to get more comfortable while setting up the next match. Ziofra mimicked him and crossed her legs on her seat, resting her arms on her thighs as she held the controller, ready for the next battle.

… It didn’t take too long for her to lose again.

Though she had an advantage of finding better weapons as soon as the game started and managed to hit a great deal of other online players, the moment she found Felix on the map she knew she had no chance. His aim was impeccable, and it was like he could detect each of her character’s movements, knowing exactly what she was going to do beforehand. He knew all along what he was doing, and of course he did it on purpose to win the bet.

“You’re insufferable!” angry, the detective shouted but couldn’t hide a smile. Despite the unfair balance between them, the game was still fun and Felix’s laughter was enough to light up any mood.

“And amazing, don’t forget it,” he teased, standing up from his seat to turn off the console, “I guess now we have a tree to build, right?”

Throwing her arms up in the air in annoyance, Ziofra agreed and followed him. The tree’s box was huge and a mess, Felix had clearly tried to set it up before, but when realised the amount of work it would require, he gave up and shoved all the pieces and parts back inside. If all of this gaming afternoon was just a plot to get her to help, she couldn’t know for sure, but the suspicion wouldn’t leave her for another entire year.

“Holy shit, Felix, how big is this thing?” she asked while taking all the fake green branches out of the box and spreading it over the floor.

“Hm, two Nates tall? One and a half, maybe.”

Her jaw dropped and her shoulders sagged at the information as she glared at him. The tree could tower her own size by a lot and it would take a fucking eternity to set it all up, especially having only the two shortest members of the team working on it. “Are you fucking kidding m—”

The inevitable outburst of rage was fortunately interrupted by another figure joining them at the living room. Nate knocked on the door frame, a comforting smile set on his lips. For a moment, she thought they could at least have some help from Mr. Long Legs, “Hey, Felix, and hello Ziofra,” he greeted, as lovable as always, but soon directed his attention to the youngest, “Felix, can you drive me to the city? Adam is at the facility and Mason said he would rather eat his own cigarettes. You’re the only one available.”

“Right now? Sure!” the bright smile on his lips denounced how glad he was to be leaving the previous task to the detective. Not only she wouldn’t have any help from Nate, Felix was now also abandoning the ship.

“It’s going to be quick, I just need to go buy some things. Are you too busy?”

“Not at all!” Felix jumped over the plastic tree branches on the floor and reached Nate by the door, grabbing his bright coloured coat and dressing up, “You can take the lead here, right Ziofra?”

She was holding a branch like a knife, pointing at him, “I am going to fucking murder you later, you tiny bastar—”

“Great! You’re the best! See you later!” And in a blur of movement, Felix disappeared, pulling Nate with him, though the joy in his laughter echoed for a few seconds in the hallway.

Even if she wasn’t happy with the situation, Ziofra still tried to build the holiday tree. If anything, she could still regain her honour by making it the best piece of decoration. How hard could it be, anyway?

**

All the plastic leaves were piercing into her skin and there were way too many of them. Despite its size, the tree was relatively easy to put together, and after an hour of work sorting out pieces and ignoring the instructions, the detective was halfway through it. The problem now, however, was to figure out how she would reach the highest parts of the structure.

Ziofra was an expert on climbing actual trees, and this one shouldn’t be too different. She pushed an armchair closer and hopped on top of its seat, but still it wasn’t enough. Cursing under her breath, she risked stepping on the armrest, balancing her tiny body and stretching her arms towards the tree. Gathering all of her focus on trying to hook a motherfucking piece in its place, she barely noticed when the armchair shook under her feet. Pushing her luck, she rested one foot over a branch of the tree, holding herself to its trunk to finally, finally, attach that one piece in its place.

“Oh, hell yes!”

The celebration didn’t last for long, for as soon as she pointed her finger guns at the structure, the chair underneath betrayed her and slipped back on the wooden floor. It happened too fast for her to have any defensive strategy, so all she could do was to cling herself to the tree trunk and close her eyes.

In a loud bang, she crashed on the floor, followed by the heavy tree that fell over her, parts of it getting loose and scattering all around. “Fuck!” she shouted, trying to free herself from the humiliating place. It was about to get worse, however, when she heard the rushed footsteps of someone coming for her aid, and there was only one other person in the Warehouse with her.

“Ziofra?!” Mason blurted as soon as he arrived at the living room, a worried frown set between his stormy grey eyes that scanned the room, looking for her. When his gaze finally met hers, an amused smirk formed on his lips. “What did you do?”

“In my defense, I was left unsupervised,” she pursed her lips and avoided his eyes. It was bad enough to embarrass herself like that, but to have him be the one to find her was a bit of too fucking much.

“I can see that,” he scoffed, resting his side against the door frame and crossing his arms over his chest, watching as she tried to lift the tree on top of her. Not an easy task, given by the enormous size of the structure, and even Mason could see how hard it could be for a tiny human like her. In any case, it was too good to not enjoy the show for a couple minutes. “Need help there, sweetheart?”

She grunted loudly at the offering, letting her arms fall on the floor in defeat, “ Please. ”

The rumbling sound of the vampire’s chuckling followed as he approached the detective, careful to not step on her but having no regards for the plastic branches on the floor. Mason bent over and lifted the tree to its proper place with ease while offering to aid the woman. Ziofra didn’t think too much before holding his hand for support and stumbling to her feet, landing too close to him.

His thumb caressed her knuckles idly, and he felt a few cuts and bruises marking her skin in irregular shapes. For a moment his gaze shifted to her hands, taking note of the results of her work with the holiday decoration before focusing his attention back to her face. A small piece of plastic was stuck on her cheek, along with a few strands of hair that got loose from her ponytail. Mason reached for it, brushing off everything with the back of his long fingers, slowly enough to feel like the time had frozen between them.

“Are you alright?” his husky voice sounded like a whisper right before his hand dropped to his side while the other still held hers. The stormy eyes searched her features for more bruises, but the steady sound of her heartbeat soothed his worries.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbled, absorbed by the handsome lines of his freckled features, so close to her, from the curves of his lips to the depth of his eyes. She wanted to lean in, feel his taste and touch, and just stay closer , but an instinct on the back of her mind pulled her away, letting go of his hand and clearing her throat. “It’s just this stupid tree that is too fucking tall.”

Her harsh movements away from him seemed to have the same effect on Mason, who stepped back biting his lips. Crossing his arms again, he poked a piece of the tree by his side with the tip of his boots, studying the environment surrounding him.

“What even is all of that shit?”

“Felix won a bet. Now I have to build a fucking holiday tree.”

Mason rolled his eyes, “Of course he is the one responsible for this monstrosity.” Inhaling deeply at the mess, the vampire turned his back, heading back to the door.

"What are you doing?" Ziofra prompted, making him stop in a halt and look over his shoulder at her outraged countenance.

"Hn, leaving?"

"Aren't you going to help me?"

"Why would I?" turning on his heels to face her again and raising an eyebrow, he inquired in genuine confusion.

"Because I'm asking pretty please."

"Your point?"

The detective grunted, leaning her head back to gather patience. Talking to Mason sometimes was like trying to maintain a conversation with a door. "Come on, I bet you're not even doing anything important right now."

"I can think of a lot of important stuff we could do instead of building this thing." Despite his complaints, the vampire walked towards her, leaning down to her ear as he passed by and whispering in a velvety tone, "Much better things."

The suggestion sent chills down her spine, but she could only hope they would have another opportunity to be alone in that huge Warehouse. Mason was already collecting the plastic branches all over the floor, studying each for a few seconds and hooking them in place. He seemed comfortable, beautifully so, wearing his usual long-sleeved shirt that matched the colour of his hair. There was something in the atmosphere between them that was different, so calm and familiar.

On his face, there was almost a smile. Maybe it was the silence, the warmth of the room, or maybe he just enjoyed using his hands to craft something, but the peace emanating from him was alluring. Ziofra didn’t even think of the possibility of her being the reason behind it. Of their company being why both felt so at ease, so at home.  

“Are you enjoying the view, sweetheart?” his voice broke through her thoughts, soft, but their eyes didn’t meet. He was too busy attaching a tree branch, a little past the height of his head, and drawing her attention to the slim lines of his torso.

“Excuse me?”

“You going to help or not?” Mason turned his head to her, the light from the fireplace slipping down his nose like a feather and inviting her closer. Something really odd was in the air, but none of them would question it. Not right now.

“Shut up,” was all that she could mumble before joining him.

**

Felix’s holiday party was much more like a simple gathering than anything else. They all preferred it that way, only the five of them, a few drinks for the sake of it and… a pile of gifts that Nate insisted on buying. Turns out that the quick trip to the city required two entire days.

Adam was by the window, sipping on red wine and listening to Nate ramble about some recent book he bought, and even Mason was having a drink, perching on a table next to them, but clearly not paying any attention to the conversation.

The holiday tree was looking gorgeous in greens, reds, and golden glittering decoration. Ziofra had taken all the credit for it after Mason refused to acknowledge his participation, but a bit of pampering from Felix was always welcome.

“How did you manage to reach the top of this thing?” he asked, shifting his gaze from the top of her head to the height of the tree. “Don’t get me wrong, I only doubted you twice, but this is really surprising.”

Raising an eyebrow at the subtle mockery, the detective pushed Felix with the side of her body, “I used my hair as a rope and climbed there,” she scoffed, “As one does.”

The vampire laughed out loud, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “Of course you did, that explains a lot.”

She couldn’t hold back a chuckle, leaning her head towards him for just a second before Felix pulled away completely.

“Hey, I have something for you!” he jumped closer to the tree, searching for a colourful box wrapped in rainbow paper, “Nate help me choose it, so if you don’t like it you can blame it on him. If you love it, the credit is all mine.”

“What?!” she jabbered, holding the rather large package with both hands. In front of her, Felix was smiling brightly, eager to see her reaction. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Felix!”

“What, you thought I wouldn’t get you anything? You’re part of this team… and a great friend. You deserve it. Come on, open it!”

Ripping off the paper, Ziofra opened the box at once, diving her hands into it to grab a beautifully hand crafted leather jacket, coloured in a deep black with silver beads and zippers. It was obviously very expensive and well made, and the sight of it made her jaw drop a little.

“Are you kidding me?” she bursted, holding the piece by its shoulders and examining it all around.

“Did you like it?” Felix was vibrating by her side, giggling like a child, “Try it on!”

The fit was perfect for her, as if it was custom made for her size. The leather was cold and smooth, but the fabric inside the jacket was warm and comfortable, like being hugged by a dear friend. She looked at her reflection on the window’s panels and smiled, pleased with the surprise. The endless source of joy leaking through Felix was enough to have her hugging him tightly, thanking him again.

Caught in a hype, Felix soon stepped away from her to continue his task of giving gifts to the other members of the team. Adam and Nate were also exchanging presents, and Ziofra could see an amused smile forming on the Commanding Agent’s lips as he, too, hugged his best friend for a quick moment.

An interruption stepped up in front of her, cutting her view of the surprisingly tender scene between the two oldest vampires on the other side of the room.

“Looking great, sweetheart.” His gaze ran across all of her body, taking his time on her curves rather than clothing. “If you weren’t so small, I would even steal this jacket from you.”

“You can surely try it out. Show some skin, you know?” Not hiding the flirtatious tone in her voice, she rested her back against the door frame and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Held his gaze in a teasing challenge, inviting him to join her there.

“You know I have no problem doing that,” the rumbling sound in his chest vibrated towards her as he chuckled, completely at ease, “Especially for you.”

“I should have bought you those ugly holiday sweaters, the ones with reindeers fucking on it.” Ziofra rolled her eyes, but followed his movements as he stepped closer to rest his right forearm on the wall behind her, caging her. “It would suit you very well,” she provoked further, a sly smile on her lips.

Mason took note of her mouth, the way one corner lifted higher than the other, and how eager he was to kiss it. Tried to bury the feeling in his chest, pretend it was nothing but a physical thing, and yet… There she was, right in front of him, gorgeous and comfortable. Her heartbeat surpassed every other sound, from the cheerful laughter of his companions to the crackling of the fire.

There was no denying how beautiful she was, but also he couldn’t help but to acknowledge that it wasn’t everything he thought of her. Everyday he felt more drawn to her as if she had a magnetic field, as if he needed to stay closer. It was good to stay closer. The world around him seemed to hush, allowing him to feel things that otherwise would be hidden. No more being overwhelmed by sensations everywhere, only a single one that grew roots in his chest and bloomed to his throat.

“Mason?” She whispered, calling him from his thoughts, but not meaning to move away.

His frown twitched when her heartbeat raced in anticipation, realising his own matched the rhythm. Mason leaned down, the stormy eyes switching from the violet of her irises to the rosy of her lips, slowly, until the shrieking sound of Felix’s voice pulled him away from her.

“Hey, love doves,” he called from behind, walking towards the door with the rest of the team, “We’re going to the game room. You guys coming?”

Mason grunted, shooting a piercing stare at the youngest, who raised both of his hands in self defense. Ziofra blinked a few times, as if only catching up with the situation moments later.

“We will be there in a bit,” she exhaled, and a chuckle followed as the team passed by them to the corridor.

“Take your time,” Nate placed a hand on Mason’s shoulder, smiling warmly but, surprisingly enough, with hints of mischief. His brown eyes guided Mason’s up to the door frame above them, but he didn’t stay long enough to watch the other’s reaction.

When they were left alone, the vampire directed his attention back to the woman, biting his lips to conceal a smile.

“We’ve been here for a while,” he began, leaning his head back and looking up, “I believe that means I get more than just one kiss, no?”

“What do you mean?” the detective’s eyes followed his gaze. On the frame, glued with adhesive tape, a mistletoe—or was it a holly?—was hanging on top of them. “Oh.”

“So,” he prompted, encouraging her to answer his previous tease, “A kiss and what else?”

“I don’t think that’s a timed activity, smartass,” her chuckle filled his ears and surrounded his senses like a blanket, pulling out a smile on the corner of his lips. Ziofra placed her tiny hands on his chest, caressing him over his shirt and studying the lines of his neck, “But maybe later you’ll get more than a kiss.”

The tip of her fingers, colder than her palms, caressed his skin up to his jawline, only to trace back the path down and hold him by his collar. She pulled him closer, eyes fixed on his lips, and parting her own open just slightly. Her gaze full of desire met his, but there was something else to it. The faint blue of his eyes were darkened with the stormy grey, and he wasn’t leaning in to her. He seemed nervous, a bit annoyed. If she could listen to his heart as well as he could hear hers, she would have known how fast it was drumming, trying to rip off his chest.

“I have something for you,” he mumbled between clenched teeth, almost not moving his lips to speak. Reaching for the pocket of his jeans, Mason pulled a small box, clearly of jewelry, made of the darkest velvet. There were no wrappings around it, no laces or bows, just the box in its fancy simplicity.

Ziofra’s mind tried her best to quickly assess the situation, thousands of thoughts fussed all over with the rush of adrenaline in her bloodstream. Tried to conceal a shaky hand before accepting it in silence and holding the gift in both hands, feeling Mason’s gaze fixed on her. Inside the box, lined with the same dark velvet, stood a necklace made of such shiny silver that contrasted with its surroundings. The pendant was a simple linework of the silhouettes of two wolves, one slightly larger than the other, howling together.

“Mason…” she gasped, carefully pulling the necklace out of its display to examine it closer.

“Happy holidays,” he interrupted, almost growling, as if the words would sting him. Aside from minor things out of necessity for his team members, he couldn’t remember the last time he had bought something for anyone, especially a gift like that. A gift that got him as nervous as her, and as rewarding as watching the detective trying on the accessory with a shy smile on her face. Not a single snarky remark from her when the pendant touched her chest, cold on her skin.

When their eyes met again, and none of them waited for it, for there was nothing else to be said. Lips crashed into each other, yearning to be pressed together like gasping for air after a deep dive. Ziofra stretched her body on the tip of her toes, hugging the man by his shoulders and wrapping both arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his ebony locks, while he held her closer by her waist. His long fingers traced a careful path along her spine and landed on the back of her neck, feeling the heat and the shivers on her skin.

They could feel each other entirely, wrap themselves in their warmth and explore the bodies as if it was the first time, new and exciting, and when they deepened the kiss, there was nowhere else they would rather be, and nothing they would rather do.

There were only the two of them, and nothing else mattered.

[ariainstars]

Netflix’ “Sex Education” An Abusive Relationship?

Since Season 2 of the beloved Netflix series Sex Education went online last week, I have read quite a few controversial comments regarding the choice to pair off Eric Effiong and Adam Groff.

I would just like to add my two cents.

Adam, headmaster Groff’s only son, is introduced to us as Moordale’s school bully who has a particular eye on Eric, whom he likes to push and shove, humiliate and steal lunch from. We are however also confronted with the fact that Adam is everything but enviable - his dad seems to want him to become another version of himself, which Adam is everything but comfortable with. Like his father, Adam is a loner, except he is aware of it. As he confesses to Otis right in episode 1, Adam wishes he and his family were “normal”.

As Season 1 evolves into its last episode Eric and Adam are put into detention, where after another fight which Eric loses Adam shares a surprisingly tender sex act with him. (Also very opposite to his soulless encounters with his ex girlfriend, Aimée.)

Caught for having cheated at school, at the end of the series Adam is shipped off to military school despite his protests with his father and pleas with his mother.

In Season 2, expelled through no fault of his own, back home Adam repeatedly runs into Eric again who has by now hooked up with the new pupil Rahim, who has no qualms with his homosexuality and does not hide his attraction to Eric. Eric then meets with contrasting feelings when Adam begins to take him on unusual “dates” at night, which always end with a few shy kisses.

Otis, Eric’s best friend, is appalled when he learns that Eric has feelings for the guy who bullied him for years and does not accept Eric’s justification “He has changed”.

Later, outdoors at Otis’ ill-fated impromptu party, Eric finally confronts Adam with the suffering he had to endure due to him for years and how this made it very hard for Eric to finally learn to love and accept himself. He declares that he does no longer want to see Adam secretly at night: “You won’t even take my hand.” Adam confesses that he thinks his orientation might actually be bisexual.

Eric has by now realized that he does not have much in common with Rahim. It is debatable how much more he has in common with Adam, but before he can think more about it Adam runs into the annual school theatre performance and publicly asks Eric to take his hand on stage. As Eric complies, the audience cheers them.

I myself was surprised about this development because one thing the series has taught me is that bullies sometimes are people who simply don’t know how to show someone that they like them. (Which is of course very unhealthy but makes sense in a way.)

The criticism coming from many viewers here is that Eric is setting up with the guy who bullied him for years, which is deplored as being unhealthy in itself, apart from seeming to suggest that gay men have a thing for abusive guys.

But what I would like to point out here is that Sex Education is not merely a soap opera about horny teenagers: it is much more than that.

Apart from approaching subjects and problems that many of us are not aware of because if they do not regard us directly we are usually too ashamed to speak about them (and often even then), the series’ goal is not to simply inform and amuse us but to trace the personal development of the persons involved.

We are repeatedly shown that sex acts and sex drive are not simply amusing games but, as Otis puts it, they “have consequences”. The reason why some persons are attracted to others and or have certain wishes are amply to be seen; their sex drive often is what brings people together, at times separates them, and pushes them from their needs into one direction or another, though not always giving them what they bargained for.

It does not surprise that Adam keeps gravitating towards Eric, who is a people person, whose father is a family man and whose family is somewhat loud and messy but very united, a foil to the prissy graveyard the Groff’s house feels like. In season 2 Adam’s own mother files for divorce from her husband - she does not say so but it is all too clear that she is starved for human connection as her son is.

It is her example, and also something she says to him about how important it is to show people we love them, that finally pushes Adam to his declaration towards Eric. Having admitted his feelings for him Adam surprisingly is embraced by the whole Effiong family, who notice the spark Adam ignites in Eric and admire him for his official coming out in front of everyone he knows.

Does that mean I am sighing over this couple? Well, no. I am happy for them and honestly, I felt that their scene together was a hundred times more romantic than the whole school performance of Romeo and Juliet. I admire Adam for his courage to disengage himself from his father’s role model and Eric for his generosity and forgiveness.

Are we in for a happy ending here? The background of Shakespeare’s play, which notoriously ends in a tragedy, would suggest otherwise (although I am not aware how much the series’ authors are into symbolism).

But is “all’s well that ends well” the only prerequisite to make this somewhat awkward though cute couple acceptable?

The point is that Eric and Adam both have developed beyond who they were. Eric has openly stood up for himself confronting Adam with his behavior instead of avoiding him, and Adam has apologized, admitted his feelings and found the connection he longed for.

How this will develop further and whether these two will manage to be together is anybody’s guess, but for now they have both been an important landmark in each other’s life, growing from the boys they were to the men they will be. And that is why I can’t see anything wrong with them as a couple, at least not for now. We will have to wait and see how it will develop from now on.

  To put it in Otis’ father’s words: “When you’re young you think everybody out there really gets you. But you know, actually only a handful of them ever do. All the people who like you despite your faults. And if you discard them, they never come back. So, when you meet those people, you should just hold onto them. Really, really tightly. And don’t let them go.”

[simranger]

a somewhat comprehensive performance guide for the sims 3

what it says on the tin. i’m sticking everything under the cut to avoid clogging everyone’s dash because, hoo boy, this is a looong post

welcome to my kitchen, and hopefully i can help you get your game to run a bit better!

first, if you haven’t already, make sure to launch your game (i recommend just bg so it loads quickly) and check if you need to change your graphics settings. if you’re on windows and would like to play your game in windowed fullscreen: 

download and install this program (it’s safe, i promise)

open the program and you should get a notification that it’s running in your tray

with ts3 open (in it’s windowed mode), click on your tray and right click on the program’s icon, then select Add window

go back to ts3′s window and press F3 on your keyboard. you should get a notification that ts3 has been added to the program’s list, and you’re done!

you’ll also need an fps limiter to prevent the game from frying your video card. i use this one, set at 60fps. alternatively, you can download MATY’s fps limiter and place it in your game’s bin. (The Sims 3/Game/Bin)

is your game crashing on startup? check your DEP settings or try using 3booter.

some tips to help your game run better

have as few programs as possible running while ts3 is open.

run a 4gb patch on your game. download this, run the .exe, select the game’s executable (The Sims 3/Game/Bin/TS3W.exe for patch 1.69 or TS3.exe for patch 1.67), and click open. you’ll get a pop up saying it’s patched. please note that your computer needs to have over 2gb of RAM for this! (most do, but do check how much RAM you have!)

if you’d rather increase how much RAM the game uses yourself, follow this tutorial.

download razer game booster. this frees up some memory on your computer to increase performance.

check how much virtual memory your pc is using. follow this tutorial.

delete cache files. the game will generate new ones every time you open the game, so make sure to delete the following files before running the game: CASPartCache, compositorCache, scriptCache, simCompositorCache, socialCache. these files are found in Documents/Electronic Arts/The Sims 3.

if you’re on pc, delete your WoldCaches folder. not everyone will have this folder, and the game may also regenerate the folder. (mine didn’t regenerate the folder, but it’s happened to others)  DO NOT do this if you’re on mac!!!!

disable your FeaturedItems folder. this prevents the game from generating a fuckton of store thumbnails you’ll never look at. follow this tutorial or just set the folder to be read only.

turn off the following in your game settings: shop mode, interactive loading screens, and online features. i also recommend turning off story progression and memories and using mods to handle these instead.

edit your GraphicsRules.sgr. this will help your game load textures faster. (it also helps how fast your sims change their clothes!) do it yourself by following these tutorials ( 1 + 2 ) or download avian’s graphics fix (v1.69) (v1.67). i recommend doing the latter more than doing it yourself!

modding your game: a quick crash course

yeah, i know most people know how to download and install custom content + mods, but this is still good to give a read for managing your sims 3 cc!

first, you’ll need a mods folder because ts3 won’t generate one by itself. i recommend you download this framework and follow MTS’ guide to setting it up. it comes with a nifty little no intro video mod!

use the compressorizer redux. you can extract it wherever you’d like, just make sure to keep all its files in the same folder. this program is pretty self-explanatory, it compresses .package and .sims3pack files. to use it, click Add Files to List, select the folder with your files (you can do this multiple times), and click GO! now, just let it do its thing! it may take a while to process everything if you have big files, but you’ll get a pop up saying how many MBs you saved when it’s done. you can also use decrapify mode on .sims3packs (useful for store content!)

i recommend downloading Delphy’s Sims3Pack Extractor. i avoid using the game launcher to manage my cc at all costs, and this tool is useful for extracting .package files from .sims3pack files. follow this tutorial to use it!

Delphy’s Dashboard Tool is also useful for finding any broken, duplicate, or conflicting cc. i don’t recommend using the fix all problems option, do it yourself instead to make sure you don’t delete anything you want to keep.

renaming cc files can also help with lag. follow this tutorial!

you can also merge your package files to help with lag and load times using this tutorial. i don’t do this personally, but my mods folder is pretty small too.

note: the game launcher can only load 500 .sims3pack files at a time. only use the launcher to install absolutely necessary items!

to help reduce lag and load times, you can delete everything in your DCBackup folder (Documents/Electronic Arts/The Sims 3/DCBackup) EXCEPT for ccmerged.package. DO NOT delete ccmerged, it has all the cc installed through the launcher. (ps. you can safely use the compressorizer to compress your ccmerged file!)

final tip: try to control the amount of cc you have installed. i’ve noticed that the game takes a lot longer to load when my mods folder starts to reach a Gb. my mods folder is currently 368Mb, and it takes around 5 minutes to load any saves.

helpful mods for your game

the ETERNAL must have: nraas’ mastercontroller. you’ll need this to run all nraas mods! also be sure to grab overwatch and errortrap while you’re at it! these catch and clean any errors that happen in your game. i also recommend register and traffic.

no (or fewer) auto memories is SUPER useful for controlling memories in the game and helps with game performance. it’s super customizable!

ellacharmed’s world fixes. not really a traditional mod, but this helps with routing and camera control! note: don’t use these on preexisting saves! some lots have been moved and there will be little gaps in the world with preexisting saves.

routing fixes for schools + other lots. be sure to use nraas to reset your school lot after installing!

interaction on sloped terrain. this is mostly just a sanity saver, but very useful!

finally, i recommend grabbing awesome mod. it has a bunch of fixes and is very customizable!

reducing save game bloat

a.k.a. the steps i go through to make sure that my game loads relatively fast and runs with minimal lag. 

if i’ve taken any screenshots the last time i played the game, i move those out of ts3′s screenshots folder and into a separate folder.

i delete all generated cache files. see the tips section above for more info

i run kuree’s save cleaner on the save i’m planning on playing. if the latest version (2.1) doesn’t open/work, try using v1.1 instead. you can also do this manually, though i don’t recommend it for the sake of your sanity.

every couple of in-game weeks in a save i run a total reset on the world i’m playing in. this is done through nraas mastercontroller. click on your city hall from map view>nraas>mastercontroller>total reset

tip: to help prevent your saves from corrupting, use save as and keep multiple versions of your save. for example, i have 3 versions of my lepacy save. this way, if a save does corrupt, you have a backup! 

misc. ways to reduce lag

don’t run the game with all packs enabled. it’s going to murder your game. only run with packs you know you’ll use. you can also refer to this masterpost for bgc items if you only want certain items from a pack.

don’t keep tons of stuff in your sim’s inventory. use the fridge to keep fish and harvestables instead.

if your sim has the collection helper LTR in their inventory, make sure you have it set to none when you’re not using it.

i recommend downloading simborg’s CAS hiders, ILTS’ CAS Rehaul, and/or sweetdevil-sims’ CAS hiders to reduce CAS load times.

change CAS’ catalogs to show in compact form using nraas mastercontroller. select a sim>nraas>mastercontroller>settings>CAS and look for show in compact form options and set each to true

nona’s no limos mod can help nraas overwatch’s nightly clean up

make sure to turn off any build/buy cheats you activated when you go back into live mode. (even if it’s just to save)

if you’re using CAS a lot in a play session, it’s a good idea to quit to desktop and reload the game every once in a while

try to avoid saving presets and CASt swatches

disconnect from the internet. i don’t do this often because i usually have spotify or carl’s sims 3 guide open alongside ts3.

good resources to refer to

the sims wiki’s game guide to improving performace

nraas’ tips for better game performance

this thread @ MTS

optimization guide @ games4theworld

this post by darkfridaysims

that’s all folks!

if you’d like to know what cc and mods i’m using, here’s my resources page. thanks for reading all this, and if you need any clarification or have anything to add onto this, definitely hmu!

edits

*ps that i won’t be tagging people i credit so i don’t risk clogging their activity, i’ll still include a link to their blog!

the fps and 4Gb patch aren’t needed, it was fixed in a patch! (thank you, create-a-sim!)

[kitskittle]

Exactly How To Rob People At ATMs In GTA V

GTA 5 Money Cheats: Exactly How To Get Even More Money In Grand Theft Auto 5 And Also Gta Online

The packing displays in GTA 5 Online will inform you which settings, if any kind of, are providing double GTA $. A reasonable break-in organizer could draw in only $400K for completing the final and fifth heist. These goals are fun and challenging tasks for a team of four players who know exactly how to collaborate well, yet the money reward is poor thinking about how much time it requires finishing. The 2nd way to generate income legitimately in GTA 5 Online is to, you understand, play the game. The principal ways to make big money are jobs, multiplayer suits, and also Heists.

There’s also some excellent information, though, as an entirely genuine approach exists to gain $200m+ throughout your three characters, though it requires some forward preparation and preparation. To do this, you need to save Lester’s murders until the end of the significant game, when you have finished all the other break-ins and also story missions. For the full information of this technique, please look at our GTA 5 Stock Market and Lester’s Assassination Missions overview. However, while there’s a great option of GTA 5 cheats that let you change virtually every element of the video game when it concerns GTA 5 money cheats or alternatives to secure free GTA Online money points aren’t as straightforward as you could hope. There are choices, yet do not expect to fix all your problems with two buttons presses.

The other hand is that if you’re considering a private yacht in GTA 5 Online that costs 8 million GTA $, you might check out your in-game savings account and laugh. Unfortunately, there are no simple exploits to create money. However, that doesn’t imply you run out good luck.

With the 1.01 upgrade, you can no more repetitively pick up the plans. Remove the upgrade patch from your console and disable automatic upgrading (this will likewise disable your GTA Online gain access to) if you want to use the manipulation.

Item Delivery objectives, and also even Supply Taking objectives, are relatively straightforward. Please look at our full GTA Online generating income overview or our most Profitable Tasks overview for where Cyclists Businesses fit in the system of things. Rockstar Gamings issued a spot right after they subjected the problem.

What Are GTA 5 Money Generators And Also Human Confirmation?

In this video, I reveal exactly how to make over $100,000 in Grand Theft Auto V is much less than 1 minute.

I’ve collected all the very best means of earning money (rightly) in GTA Online to assist gamers in making sense of what can often be a difficult and also clumsily-discussed topic.

If you’re seeking a means to break out GTA Online money, then again, the information isn’t right, we’re afraid.

Given That Grand Theft Auto 5’s release, the cost and amount of cars, tools, clothes, and also various other fun items to buy in GTA Online, the game’s multiplayer element, has raised significantly.

There are lots of GTA 5 codes for the single-player portion of the video game but except GTA 5 Online. If you want to buy costly playthings for online play, you need to work hard to earn money or invest genuine cash in the game.

Regardless, you won���t get any free GTA 5 money at the end of the procedure, and also, you can discover they have jeopardized your details because of this. Stay safe online by avoiding GTA 5 money generator websites, as the only ways of getting money in GTA 5 and GTA Online are by playing the video game or purchasing Shark Cards.

With that in mind, these are the choices to provide your electronic financial institution to balance a quick and straightforward increase. Rockstar routinely supplies benefit GTA$ for playing details multiplayer settings, general settings that were recently introduced to the video game.

As time passes, gamers will likely evaluate out and also uncover various other similar, hidden elements of the video game to much better recognize the systems and auto mechanics that control its world. If you’re warm on Bicycle riders content, we have a few guides that can assist you to optimize your gains.

[bo0zey]

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person??? 

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing 

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny 

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm 

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!! 

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

[tessatechaitea]

Justice Society of America #4 (1992)

Ultrahumanite exhibits all the characteristics of a man happy to be reunited with friends: cheerily laughing, bright happy expression, hands on hips, weirdly-shaped massive hard-on.

Forgive me for the erect penis joke but I felt it was in the tradition of Grunion Guy. You might find it funny if you knew how uncomfortable it made me to type it and how worried I was for a second that my mother might see it. But then I realized that if my mom saw it, it would mean my mom read Grunion Guy's blog, and then I almost threw up. That would be so embarrassing! Normally I would be on the side of the Justice Society of America because they are the good people with the good values. But how good are their good values if they are trying to stop a job creator and upstanding corporate citizen like Ultrahumanite who is just trying to run his Ultragen business the best way he knows how: with stormtrooper bodyguards to defend labs where they experiment on animal-human hybrids? Anything that hurts corporate profits is a bad thing for capitalism and the Justice Society of America should know that, being that they have "America" right there in their name. Although they also have "Society" in their name and that is a bird whistle for socialists. The bird whistle is the dog whistle of the left because it is more pleasant to listen to and it isn't aggravating or obnoxious and it makes the world a better place for everybody (except people who hate birds and probably own guns to shoot those stupid birds. Stupid birds. So dumb).

Oh no! Nobody warned these old timers that we aren't doing prison rape jokes anymore!

Wildcat has some great words of wisdom in that previous panel. It is the most scienciest science statement I have ever read (unless it was the mathiest math statement): "If X did not happen, Y would have happened! Thusly I have proved we are better than you! QED! In your face, Ultrahumanite!" Whenever I would lose a game of Dungeons & Dragons with my friends Bullpup and McGroover, I would say, "Oh yeah? Let's see you make a delicious sandwich!" Then they would back down and they would be all, "Yes, you are correct, Pickle Boy. You are the better friend with the most useful skills and we are only good at pretending to slaughter Kobold families for copper coins." That's pretty funny if you realize Dungeons & Dragons is about adventurers invading the lairs of creatures to steal their material possessions! Doctor Mid-Nite does not quip with the others because he might be dead. Do not forget these guys are really old! It does not matter how many muscles they have or what kind of cardio breathalyzer tests they can pass; they still have super old bones and a lifetime of clogged arteries. One slip or the slightest bit of extra exertion could mean Stroke City or Brokenhipsville for these cool cats! That is old person slang! It is very humorous!

Now they goof on his stutter? I am beginning to wonder who the real villains are in this story!

Look how happy the Ultrahumanite is! And these old guys have been nothing but bitter, cynical old winds from the butt! Plus he is a successful businessman and scientist who has created life! It sounds like he has turned over a new leaf now that he no longer has to steal bodies. I am not ignoring the laboratory full of hybrid creatures; I'm just going to assume that they were all volunteers until it is proven otherwise. You cannot go through life never eating the buttered bread that fell on the floor buttered side down! Ultrahumanite decides to recount his past for some reason. This made me laugh because I was thinking, "Yeah! They are old men. They cannot remember stuff from so long ago and also they have enlarged prostates!"

But which is actually worse: making fun of somebody's disability or sympathizing with Nazis? I've got some hard questions to answer!

Some things are unforgivable but one thing I think we can all agree to forgive is a hot woman who sided with the Nazis.

How does a huge ape body reflect the Ultrahumanite's desires? Please do not answer, "He loves to copulate with monkeys," because that's what I an suggesting by the question and you would look like one of those fools on Twitter who thinks they are hilarious by restating somebody's joke in a less subtle manner.

Ultrahumanite continues to explain how he became such a pillar of the business community. It is as boring as you would expect a PowerPoint presentation from a business man would be. That was probably the joke! Why is not the trademarked name "PowerPoint" two words? If you are going to bother capitalizing the second "P", you might as well just separate the words. Maybe it was somebody's online name when they were fourteen years old. It is always a smart decision to just run the two words together rather than separating them with an underscore. And it is easier to read when the second word is capitalized (as opposed to every other word capitalized or just the consonants. I do not understand young people). Nobody remembers to put underscores in when searching for a name online!

"Ultrahumanite! You are experimenting on innocent people, ruining the environment, causing unknown amounts of damage to the populace of every city where one of your labs operates but Ted Grant and the world just want to know one thing: was that hot Nazi body the real you because 'Rrrrrow!'"

You think I am making a joke but I don't joke about things that I don't joke about and one of those things is that Ted Grant has previously expressed interest in cultivating an intimate relationship with hot Nazi Ultrahumanite. Specifically, he said earlier that she "swept him off his feet." He only used that phrase so Al could make a joke about how they were hanging upside down so the sweeping off of feet is still happening. But I think, in his heart, he wanted to say, "She made me spontaneously become a man every time we wrestled. Is that okay under the Hays Code? Can I get away with that amount of innuendo?!" The Ultrahumanite has to go deal with The Flash who has literally suddenly appeared. Weird how the word "literally" is never actually needed when it is used properly. I guess using it in a hyperbolic and exaggerated fashion is really its only job. While Ultrahumanite is gone, Doctor Mid-Nite "double joints" his wrists to escape. I'm pretty sure Grunion Guy's wrists were double jointed by the amount of times he wrote about masturbating. He was a crude jerk but I still hope he rests in peace in that pauper's cemetery down by the toxic sludge factory. Doctor Mid-Nite takes on the guards while The Atom and Wildcat rush out to save The Flash who is The Flash and almost certainly does not need saving. While Doctor Mid-Nite is beating up the guards, he suddenly becomes a stand up comedian. Was I wrong to assume he was an actual doctor? Is that just his stage persona? I would tell you why his jokes were funny if they were but I cannot figure them out. Why is this an old joke (and if it is, why would he even retell it when it is nonsense): "I know you're out there because I can hear you breathing"? The Flash gets encased in some living green goo that absorbs heat and kinetic energy which might also be a definition of heat? I'm just a sandwich maker slash writer's assistant who has never once showed an ounce of curiosity about the real world so forgive me for languishing in my ignorance. At least I own a thesaurus. Back in Gotham City, Jesse Quick appears for a page or two to remind everybody that she exists. "Hello! I am the hot daughter of the infomercial guy! I have also deluded myself into believing a mathematical equation gives me super speed! It makes no sense!" Jesse takes some papers proving that Ultragen is breaking laws so the JSA has the right to beat the crap out of its CEO. For comedic effect, they have a little more confusion over Ultrahumanite's pronouns (which, to be fair, he has not expressed any preference for and doesn't seem to mind using whatever pronouns match the gender he seems to be expressing) before rushing off to punch her in the face. I don't know what pronouns to use either but she was a super hot Nazi so let's just go with that one.

See? She is a scientific genius!

At first I was all, "Oh, big deal! So The Flash is trapped in goo!" And then the Ultrahumanite was all, "You cannot breathe without oxygen!" And then I was all, "Oh no! I had not thought of that! Somebody save him, preferably an old guy from the JSA or I will feel cheated out of my hard earned buck twenty-five." I keep laughing at that previously scanned panel and how Wildcat and The Atom are hiding behind trees the way characters do in comic strips. So ridiculous! It is even funnier if you remember that they are old men! I bet you are laughing a lot more now! Doctor Mid-Nite arrives because he "smoke bombed" with his previous stand-up gig. Get it?! If you understood the play on the word "bomb" there and that I meant the fight against the guards when I said "stand-up gig," you would be cracking up like crazy!

Yeah. A smoke bomb! We all know that is where he keeps them!

The Flash breaks free and Doctor Mid-Nite punches Ultrahumanite in the nose, breaking it. Ultrahumanite is so vain that he falls to the ground, defeated! And that is when the Calvary arrives! That is funny because I used the wrong word and now you are picturing a crucified Jesus riding up on a horse to save the day instead of Green Lantern, The Flash, and Jesse Quick arriving on a Green Lantern construct! Justice Society of America #4 Rating: A. I have not read as many comic books as Grunion Guy but this one seemed pretty good in comparison to the ones I have read, like WildC.A.T.S. #1 and pick any issue you want of Youngblood. One more "What gender is Ultrahumanite?!" joke for the road!

Alan felt this was the kind of thing a heterosexual would say. It's funny because he "New 52" comes out of the closet later!