#The music and the pacing in that trailer is PERFECT

[icyfox17]

guys i really really really like star trek 2009 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[solecize]

  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (4)

ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: a party at the notorious hotel azure, the hot-spot for the top names of south korea's entertainment industry, goes awry. in front of everyone, your relationship reaches it's breaking point - except, it doesn't. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, fake dating, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), both main characters are very flawed, violence, infidelity, foul language, substance use (illegal drugs) 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. extra warning for heavy substance abuse in this chapter - the usage of this is not meant to be glamourized in any way. i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, so please note the underlying commentary on idol life and substance use. as someone who has been diagnosed with substance use disorder, i encourage learning about its complexities and ending stigma around it. there is also a quick note at the end of the chapter regarding its ending. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjoin the taglist here! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤm.list | previous | next

you might just have dealt the final blow stop, you’re losin’ me

TOP HEADLINE TODAY: big hit entertainment releases a trailer on official youtube channel, announcing bts’ upcoming world tourㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤapril 2018

  two years made a night and day difference in your relationship. after the highs and lows that brought several short-term breakups, 2018 was supposed to be your and jungkook’s year. it was a fresh start and the turn of your early twenties was the world at your fingertips. young, beautiful and wealthy - it was a dream for any idol in south korea. 

  a fresh start wasn’t always easy when skeletons lurked in your closet, though. watching your boyfriend pace back and forth in his kitchen, a glass of whiskey on the rocks at hand, jungkook looked completely different. you weren’t sure if you’d finally snapped out of the daze that framed him as a teenager, bursting with energy, but things hadn’t been the same in a long time.

  “yeah, y/n is coming with me,” you heard him say, your ears perking up at the sound of your name. it was hard to read his tone, but something told you that the person on the other end was surprised at his statement.

  he finally noticed that you walked into the room, having finished slipping on your coat. jungkook sighed, tilting back the last of his drink and telling the person on the phone that he had to go. his furrowed eyebrows were telling enough that he was annoyed with you.

  “what? i only took an hour,” you said, walking over from the doorway of his bathroom.

  jungkook rolled his eyes. “an hour after the party started. let’s get going, the boys said they’re waiting for us,” he complained. “you’re the one who insisted on coming with me, anyway.”

  at that, you didn’t say anything because you knew it would only escalate into an argument. jungkook had been recently accusing you of being overly controlling when it came to hanging out with his friends, which led to an invite to tonight’s party to be extended to you, as well. 

  however, parties at places like hotel azure were now a routine for you and jungkook, which was one of the only things that was constant against change in the past two years. with fame came notoriety and after clawing your way up the social ladder amongst the country’s musical elite, invitations to galas and lounges and the vip section of the club came left and right. everyone now knew you as one of the idol power couples behind the curtain and your respective presences were expected at events. 

  a molasses-like tension sat in the air when it came to this. although you and jungkook were known as one, it wasn’t easy to ignore jungkook’s individual stardom that garnered mass attention. his biggest supporter, you loved this for him - until you didn’t. he would jet off to tokyo and shanghai to party with a-listers and meet new people everywhere he went. he was rising before your very eyes and you couldn’t help but feel left behind.

  “did you not tell them we got back together?” you suddenly asked, trailing out the front door with an impatient jungkook.

  he only shrugged. it was hard to keep up when you and jungkook had taken several sporadic “breaks” over the last year. as a couple, you showed your best and smiled in front of everyone. however, your friends were the ones who would witness arguments in the corner of the room or furious frenzies of text arguments whilst working. 

  it was hard to manage a relationship that was akin to a fire - passionate, but ready to set ablaze at all times. 

  you weren’t sure how you and jungkook got to this point. you were no longer kids who only had each other. it could’ve been so many things - age, fame, money. there were other underlying issues that came with all these things. after all, by the time you were sat in the car, the first flask was already finished between you and him.

  the drive to hotel azure was a blur and before you knew it, you were taking shots with kim yoojung and suzy in the penthouse suite. jungkook had walked away with his friends upon entering the party and it was already a lost idea to find him. you exchanged few words on the way to the venue, as he seemed to still be frustrated with you for a variety of reasons.

  besides, it was a jackson wang party. the suite was filled to the brim with the who’s who of the entertainment industry, all mingling and dancing in an exalted existence that only celebrities enjoyed. others were outside at the rooftop pool, basking in the first of the year’s warm air. there were too many things going on at once.

  the only warmth you were concerned with was the hot sensation spreading throughout your body from hennessy. “how’s the filming of your new show?” you asked suzy, who was now flushed from the round of drinks.

  “exhausting. how’s the recording of your new album?” she sighed.

  “exhausting.”

  a murmur of agreement ensued. that was why everyone was gathering - an escape from the fastlane of their lives. the industry was draining and every forced smile for the cameras only weighed heavier on someone.

  “that nct member your boyfriend is friends with was passing out xans,” warned yoojung, poking your side.

  a year ago, you would have made a scene. now jaded and long given up on trying to knock some sense into him, you peeked over yoojung’s shoulder to check out the hallway ahead. turning back to the other two women, you already made up your mind.

  “the bathroom over there is free,” was all you had to say and with you swiping your clutch off the counter, they knew what you were thinking. they knew what was in its contents.

  you had to - it was a jackson wang party. ironically, you were never able to recall actually seeing jackson at his parties. really, you weren’t able to recall much in general the day after for certain reasons and tomorrow was looking no different when you busted out of the bathroom minutes later, giggling and brushing off your clothes. at the very least, you knew that you weren’t looking out of place, especially if what yoojung said was true. everyone in the room could afford the best to use, so why wouldn’t they?

  “we should go to the pool!” 

  it didn’t take much convincing for you to be dragged outside, as the high was settling in and you suddenly became a social butterfly. the three of you arrived poolside, where you were greeted by more of your peers. you wouldn’t call them your friends. 

  the exception was jimin, who you were surprised to see. he was very amicable and well-liked amongst social circles, but wild parties were never quite his scene. some of jungkook’s group mates had an affinity for nights out, but you and jungkook attended a specific genre of parties that the others didn’t vibe with on the regular.

  you smiled a little too wide. “jimin!”

  the group you approached sat poolside on a couch, as jimin scooted over to make room for. you barely fit, but he made sure to make it work for one of his best friends’ girlfriend. stumbling a bit when you squeezed past others’ knees, he offered his arm to help steady you.

  “hey, y/n. jungkook went somewhere else?” he asked slowly, examining your face. 

  jimin had a beer in his hand and appeared significantly more sober than the other partygoers, who were now immersed back into their previous conversation after your arrival. suzy and yoojung were laughing with the others, probably now too high and drunk to even remember that they walked over with you. meanwhile, jimin had his jacket on, as if he was right about to leave until you came outside. his mind was changed when he saw how wasted you were.

  you looked around, hoping the fresh air would help you focus. “mmm, yeah. think he’s with jaehyun.”

  it didn’t. it also felt like hours since you last spotted your boyfriend, but you were having fun. however, that wasn’t what jimin was concerned about.

  “you’re doing okay?” jimin questioned, a frown tugging at his lips. 

  if it wasn’t someone like jimin who knew you well, it wouldn’t be so obvious that you were now quite inebriated. your giggles were a little too loud and you would never stumble in high heels sober. 

  when you didn’t answer, jimin finished the last of his drink and set it on the table in front of you before standing up. there was a glint of worry in his eyes. 

  he said, “stay right there. i’m going to get you some water and find jungkook.”

  truthfully, you didn’t want him to locate your boyfriend, but jimin was already off. you huffed some hair out of your face. you didn’t think you were in that bad of a shape. 

  now that there was room on the couch, you were able to move over. when jimin left, you noticed that the girl next to you was watching the interaction the entire time. she was young and the doe-like expression on her face read that this was her first time at hotel azure. she was dressed to the nines and carried herself with energy.

  “hi, you’re nova!” it was more of an exclaimation than a question, when she smiled at you.

  your mood dampened at this. you did not have time to be entertaining whatever lucky rookie idol she was, probably scoring a luky invite. you also despised being called your stage name when you weren’t in front of a camera or fans. however, you put on your best plastered on smile.

  “hi. you are?” you asked, wanting to try to be polite.

  she ignored it. “wow, so it’s true then?” she asked. “you’re dating jungkook! and you were just talking to jimin, you must be so close with all of bts!”

  it was like an immediate headache onset, as you tried not to wince at her nearly screaming into your ear. the music was loud, but not that loud. at least she acknowledged you first, some people often went all in by just talking about jungkook. you would have engaged in actual conversation with her if she didn’t ignore your first attempt.

  “y/n, try this!”

  a red solo cup was pushed in front of your face and you didn’t think twice about taking a sip. anything to not hear the girl drone on about your boyfriend. it was sour and medicinal at the same time, causing you to make a face. the actor who passed it to you chuckled, as you gave it back.

  you coughed. “that was disgusting.”

  for some reason, the smell of the drink alone made your head hurt. you mumbled an ‘excuse me’ at the young idol, who was still talking about bts the entire time that interaction with the drink happened, and got up. your legs were weak. 

  for a while, you were walking around with no purpose, observing those around you blankly. when the drinks and the drugs and the desire to fit in faded away, it was boring. 

  you wondered if you actually liked being at these parties or if you were there just because. the “just because” could have been anything - just because it was expected by your circle, just because it was the only way to let out steam from the demands of your job. maybe even. . .just because of jungkook.

  “looking for your boyfriend?”

  at some point, you wandered over to the shadowy corner of the rooftop, where someone was smoking a joint. you tried your best to recall his name, as you’d just been on a variety show with him, but the best you could do was remember that he was a member of winner. you winced at yet another mention of jungkook, but ignored it again.

  he held the joint out as an offer and you accepted without hesitation, letting the smoke fill your insides. it was easy to ignore the burn in your throat when you’d already been putting random substances into your body since the night began.

  “not really,” you admitted, though you did scan the crowd when you did.

  he cocked an eyebrow. “oh? aren’t you two always hand in hand at these things?” he made a gesture, referring to the party as a whole.

  a year or two ago, you would have spent the entire party on jungkook’s lap and exclusively mingled and drank from that same spot. as time went on and jungkook began attending parties and clubs without you, it was a growing occurrence that you began doing your own thing when you appeared with him.

  “dunno,” was all you could say, not wanting to talk more about it.

  it appeared that he got the hint, dropping the subject of jungkook. instead, he failed to hide the once over he made of your appearance and you fought a shiver. you felt like you were naked under his stare, as your skin-tight maxi dress didn’t leave much to the imagination. you never felt unsafe to wear what you wanted on a night out - albeit, your boyfriend was usually with you.

  “you cold? want my jacket, sweetie?” he asked, sugar lacing every one of his words.

  that’s when you became alert, despite your body’s lack of sobriety working against you. he had taken a half-step towards you and you instantly stepped backwards. you’d never been so uncomfortable, but it was a struggle to steady yourself.

  you mustered up some solidity in your voice. “no. you can back up now,” you said, handing the joint back to him. “thanks.”

  he didn’t get the hint. “then, do you wanna go inside with me? where’s it’s warmer?”

  the smirk on his face sent off alarms in your head, as you continued to walk away, he still remained close to you when you did. 

  “i said i’m good. you’re getting weird, so back up,” you repeated, eyes darting around to see if anyone would step in.

  instead, everyone was still lost in their own worlds. some people were laughing away, trashing the bar on the other end of the rooftop. the people you were with on the couch were taking shots. nobody was noticing the interaction between you and this man.

  when he took a firm grip on your arm, you thought you were about to throw up. you noticed that you hadn’t even been walking straight and when you blinked, he was already in front of you. your words couldn’t find themselves when you saw double everywhere you turned. you were fucked and you couldn’t even defend yourself.

  then, it happened.

  when you jumped at the sound of a sudden impact, you thought that you were the one who fell down. but, there was no pain. there was a round of gasps. there was yelling. there was a body on the ground and it was the man’s.

  “are you fucking crazy?! don’t you put your dirty ass hands on her ever again or i’ll kill you with my bare hands, asshole!”

  the voice belonged to jungkook. it was the first time you’d seen him all night. he was standing over the man’s body, yelling further profanities at him. you saw red - both on his knuckles and in his bloodshot eyes. 

  you let out a scream when the man suddenly got to his feet, lunging at jungkook. this was when others ran in, straining to peel their two bodies away from each other. 

  people stopped to watch, but it was almost dystopian to see that some didn’t even care. they continued taking shots and smoking their joints. it was a daze of glimmer and drugs that only existed in the penthouse suite of hotel azure - where the rich and famous didn’t have time for scuffles. 

  “jungkook, stop!” you screeched, your voice cracking and tears welling up in your eyes.

  it took three people to pull jungkook alone, as others also came to the rescue of the other man. jaehyun and yugyeom each clutched onto one of jungkook’s arms, while bambam stood between the two. it looked like they had all chased jungkook from inside the penthouse, who had slammed the sliding door open.

  when jungkook picked up a glass beer bottle in his rage, you almost ran in yourself. he’d swatted jaehyun and yugyeom’s grips away to do so. thankfully, it was jimin who dashed in to swipe the object away from jungkook’s grasp, before the situation escalated to disastrous.

  if jimin didn’t wrestle the weapon out of jungkook’s hands, it would have been detrimental beyond saving. 

  “you piece of shit!” snarled the man, who spat in jungkook’s direction. “your little girlfriend should know how much of a piece of shit you are, too!”

  at that, you froze. jungkook only narrowed his eyes at him, as if daring him to continue. the next few moments didn’t seem real. his friends took the opportunity to take hold of him again, now with bambam joining in and trying to talk some sense into him.

  “kook, calm down. seriously, you need to just - “

  jungkook shot back, ignoring bambam. “you better shut your fucking mouth.” through gritted teeth, he kept urging for jaehyun and yugyeom to let go of him, which they thankfully didn’t.

  he only chuckled and your heart dropped when he turned to you. “nah, you must already know he’s a piece of shit. you must be cool with that and with the fact that he’s fucking his backup dancer.”

  what he said was loud and clear, but you didn’t even register it. you thought you were dreaming. you didn’t know what to do.

betrayal had a funny effect on people and on you, it was seething fury.

  if you were sober, it would have been your turn to lunge at someone. you considered it and decided that it wasn’t a bad idea. taking off your heels and making strides towards the man, nobody expected you to clock the man right in the jaw. he yelped, stumbling backwards from the impact. in your state, you only just realized that you’d actually hit him with one of your shoes.

  “that was for me, you creep,” you hissed, as he cussed loudly at his now bloody nose. 

  you even pondered pushing him into the pool, but decided it wasn’t worth it. the adrenaline in your veins - and whatever other substances were in there - wasn’t enough to distract you from the pit in your stomach from what the man said. something in you didn’t even consider the possibility of it being untrue - your gut told you otherwise. 

  you stared at jungkook, searching for any rebuttal. however, you knew the look on his face. it was the truth. not once did jungkook even try to dispute the accusation. your anger died down now and you were left feeling like you were floating. this couldn’t be real.

  it was now jungkook’s turn to stand frozen. you didn’t have time for this or for him. even his friends were frozen and you didn’t know what emotions were on their faces. shocked, but at what? that he was cheating on you or that he just got exposed? reality was beginning to sink in and the only thing you knew was that you needed to get out of there. you thought you looked like the biggest joke in the world, whether his friends knew about it or not.

  “what do you think you’re doing? go after her!” 

  that was jimin’s voice, horrified that his friend was just passively watching you run out of there. jungkook finally made a sprint for it. you’d pushed past several people and jungkook didn’t catch up to you until you reached the elevator.

  your vision was waning and the source could have been either the situation or your body finally giving up on you from what you had consumed all night. you needed to sit down. hurriedly, you jammed the button to close the elevator door, but a hand stuck out to force it open.

  jungkook was pleading. “y/n, just one second - “

  “no, get away from me.”

  “look, let’s talk! please!” he cried, trying to enter the elevator with you.

  at this point, you were shoving him away. you didn’t care, you needed him out of your face before you began crying. he wasn’t fighting back at all, letting you continuously push him, but didn’t move an inch. 

  “you’re scum to me,” you growled, eventually giving up and tripped backwards from your own force.

  the elevator closed and for thirteen long floors, it was just you and him in that one space.

  “please, let’s communicate - isn’t that what you always wanted for us?” jungkook said and did his best to get you to meet his eyes. “bug, come o -”

  the fire in your eyes was nothing like he’d ever seen before from you. “don’t you dare call me that ever again!” 

  bug was his special name for you, short for lovebug. you used to get upset when he would call you your full name over bug. in that moment, it sickened you to hear it.

  everything began clicking in your head. the way he rarely called you when he was on tour. the slow buildup of disinterest in your wellbeing. going to places that he always went to without you. being secretive of what he was doing on his phone. this behaviour multiplied recently and with another world tour for bts lined up, you now knew why.

  jungkook was living an entirely different life away from you. you just thought he would never have it in him. not the kind and sweet jungkook you met all those years ago.

  you ripped off the tennis bracelet from your wrist, which jungkook had given you for your eighteenth birthday. a look of defeat rested on his face when you hurled it at him, which he didn’t even bother to dodge. he knew he deserved it. 

  the elevator dinged and you made a beeline for the first door you saw. you weren’t even running, but jungkook dashed to meet you there. you let out a cry of frustration when he stood right in front of you, blocking the entrance. 

  “move or you’ll regret it.”

  he ignored you and you instead side-stepped away, using all your energy to exit through the next door before jungkook could realize. he tried blocking you again, but only caught a bit of your force because you were too fast.

  the entire time this was happening, you’d been trying to dial someone, anyone. none of your group mates were answering. you didn’t have any friends that weren’t at the party upstairs. the last resort was your manager, who you were about to call, when jungkook stood in front of you again.

  “y/n, please. i’ll get on my knees if i have to,” jungkook begged and you could see that he was fighting tears. “please, i just want to talk.”

  however, you could also see that jungkook was far from sober. he was in a worse state than you were. a bruise was to soon form on his jaw and his hair was disheveled. it was the lowest you’d ever seen him.

  for a split second, you tried. you wanted to try and see the boy you fell in love with all those years ago. you searched and searched. 

  “what? i’ve asked you for years to communicate in this relationship and it only becomes important after you cheat on me?” 

  jungkook knew he was defeated, but he still looked at you with those same pleading eyes. “i know i don’t deserve you - “

  “i don’t even recognize you!” you interrupted. “i don’t even know who you are!”

  both of you knew that you were right. something went wrong along the way. you were barefoot and exhausted, no longer with light in your eyes. jungkook was pitiful and lost - lost in his fame, in the parties, and from you. 

  that night at hotel azure should have been the end. the storybook fairytale should have been over. in that moment, you would have even moved as far as you could and ran away from the dread of the life you were living. you gave up that night.

  unfortunately, in the craze of the night’s events and the substances swimming in your bodies, both you and jungkook forgot who and where you were.

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: breaking news! dispatch releases exclusive photos of bts’ jungkook and s.iren’s nova, reveals that they are dating

  you’d been in the big hit company building countless of times over the years, but would have never imagined yourself sitting in their board room with their most senior executives. to make matters worse, several high-ranking representatives from your company sat in the same room, including your ceo and your own manager. at the head of the table were you and jungkook, both stone-faced and unable to look at each other. 

  entering the room, you considered yourself all alone. your manager was pissed off at you. your group mates hadn’t spoken to you since the news broke, except for sooah. she only warned you to make sure that nobody knew you were high when it happened. the last thing the group needed was an additional scandal where their main vocalist gets sentenced to prison for possession. and, of course, you now had no boyfriend. there was nobody there for you.

  “they’ve been building evidence for a long time now, clearly.”

  to make matters more humiliating, the company executives were broadcasting the dispatch article on the big screen in front of everyone. the head of public relations, mr. lee, swiped through each photo released like a slideshow.

  the first picture was you and jungkook outside of your building complex. another was a sneaky shot that barely captured you and jungkook in the same taxi. it went on and on, until the last photo that depicted you and jungkook standing in front of hotel azure, which was less than twenty-four hours ago at this point. 

  after escaping the party and jungkook, you spent the rest of your night crying and throwing up at home. it was late when you left and you knew you couldn’t sleep a wink after what transpired. you tried your very best and it was seven in the morning when you thought your eyes were finally closing, until your phone began blowing up. 

  at first, it was just your manager and you didn’t want to hear about how she found out that you were partying late again. then, not even an hour after, your social media began blowing up with notifications. 

  i was trying to warn you, the last text from your manager read. you realized what she was talking about, as dispatch probably gave the “courtesy” to inform the company before the article went out. 

  you thought about your group members, feeling nothing but guilt. you saw what happened to other female idols, whose dating scandals tarnished their “sisterhood” with their members forever. you were terrified of that happening to you.

  now, you sat in this suffocating board room, still hungover, and your entire future at stake. the only thing you felt regretful about was not just the impact of your choices on both your group members, but the rest of jungkook’s. they were one of the, if not the, most popular groups in the country.

  while the room went over the pictures that were released, you were silent. you long understood the consequences of the relationship and accepted the risk. when the scandal actually broke, though, the fear you felt was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. on the other hand, jungkook was only apologizing profusely and was in tears. you didn’t realize it until then, but there were also streams of tears running down your face. 

  you weren’t sure what the main reason for your tears were. something told you that you’d yet to process the grief of jungkook’s betrayal because sitting next to him felt numb. last night, only anger settled underneath your skin. now, being inches away from the man you called your best friend and partner for years, you felt nothing. it was almost an out-of-body experience. 

  the only way to not replay every single moment he was with her and not you, was to repress the grief. you pretended like it was invisible and out of reach. with that, you figured the tears were for the innocent third parties that were going to be dragged down by the scandal - the executives in the room, jungkook’s group, your group, all of them.

  “quit crying! we have no choice, there’s too much evidence - we must publicly confirm the relationship.”

  you took a deep breath. right now, you had yet to actually tell anyone that you and jungkook were no longer together. a part of you was too embarrassed to admit that you were cheated on. you also figured that word from the scene at the rooftop party likely already spread throughout social circles. you decided to swallow it down and finally say it aloud.

  this was the first time that you spoke up. “but,” you started, “jungkook and i. . .we broke up last night.”

  the last thing you expected was a round of laughter. you thought you were imagining it, but when you looked up, the board members were indeed doing so. you were suffering enough, but now you were getting laughed at. your fists were balled up underneath the table.

  “are you kidding me?” mr. lee said. “i don’t care. years ago, you and jungkook agreed that, should your relationship be exposed, you would face the repercussions of its reception.”

  “mr. lee - “ jungkook started, but was hushed by his company executives.

  when mr. lee tapped on his laptop again and cut to the comments section of the article, you thought you would see hate comments. death threats, even. but, you were stunned to face waves of positivity. 

  the tone he used, though, was devoid of any. “oh, i love this couple so much,” mr. lee began reading the comments in a monotone voice that only made the situation feel even more of a joke. “wah. they. are. such. a. beautiful. couple. i’m not even mad.”

  you swore your eyes were deceiving you. stealing your first glance at jungkook since walking into the room, he, too, was shocked and his jaw hung low. 

  “talk about a power couple, congratulations! here, someone said: hope this is true, nova is luckiest girl in the world - love this. then, a bunch of good luck’s, and blah, blah, blah.”

  there was a wave of anger when most of the comments called you the lucky one and not once the other way around.

  regardless, the reception of international fans was generally uplifting, which was no surprise to you. what really got to you was that it didn’t stop there - the screen scrolled past dozens and dozens of korean comments that exemplified full support towards the relationship. this was a true mark of positive reception, as they were the fans you feared the most.

  as the years went on and jungkook rose in popularity, you became increasingly nervous about your relationship. you watched so many of your peers receive horrible backlash from fans after being exposed for dating, especially the women. being a female in the industry was hard enough and you weren’t sure if you were going to be one of the strong ones in this situation. 

  “so that your fans don’t feel ‘betrayed’, we are going to let the media know that you have been dating for a few months - don’t even think about telling people that you’ve been together since 2013,” mr. lee announced, which snapped you back to the conversation.

  you dared to speak again. “mr. lee, jungkook and i have broken up,” you reiterated, wondering if nobody heard you the first time.

  he rolled his eyes. “i understand. do you also understand that this reaction is basically unheard of? have you noticed that you’ve gained almost a million followers on instagram?”

  this time, it was the public relations representative from big hit that cleared her throat and stood up. she joined mr. lee in front of the board members, who began murmuring in approval amongst themselves.

  “jungkook. y/n. as you know, the love yourself world tour was just announced. s.irens is also preparing for a major comeback and potential tour. this relationship,” she said, “will be used to accelerate the successes of both of your groups.”

  a chart appeared on the screen. it showed data from the last twenty-four hours, including both group’s increase in social media numbers, streams, and search engine hits. 

  “consider it an exchange for breaching your no-dating clause five years ago. until further notice, this relationship, at least in the eyes of the public, will remain.”

  this had to be a joke. however, you remembered what you and jungkook were. you were idols. you were puppets of the machine that was the korean entertainment industry. chess pieces. no matter how rich or famous either of you got, it all boiled down to this. 

  the fame game was one that was never won.

  jungkook said, slowly, “you’re asking us to date. . .as a publicity stunt?”

  at this, you had no choice. a few individuals in the room, including jungkook, jumped when you shot up from your seat. you rose in order to bow at a ninety degree angle in front of all the senior executives, ignoring how sick you were to your stomach.

  “please,” you began, eyes squeezed shut. “i want nothing to do with jeon jungkook.”

  of course, the decision was already made and your pleas were dismissed. however, you didn’t see the way jungkook watched you beg your company to not force you in a relationship with a man you no longer loved. his mouth went dry and there’d never been such a moment in his life where he hated himself more. he did this. he pushed you to this point and he betrayed you.

  from that moment on, jungkook saw this as an opportunity. he destroyed everything that you and he had ever built. now, the only thing he ever sought from this point on, was redemption.

  even though your companies informed you two that you could publicly “breakup” following a year post-dispatch release, jeon jungkook never lost sight of the redemption he sought. they wanted you to be the so-called it couple of the industry and he decided he would do them one better and make it real. for the next year, jungkook would do everything in his power to win you back.

  LATEST NEWS: bts’ jungkook and s.irens’ nova confirms their relationship! read more about big hit’s response: “they met as friends and the connection blossomed from there”

  𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. for clarity purposes (because i feel like the non-chronological format may get confusing), y/n and jungkook get back together during this publicity stunt and are 100% for real dating in chapter 1. the publicity stunt arc is covered in chapters 6-8, as the next chapter focuses on why/how their relationship began breaking down before the hotel azure incident.

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU pt 66

part 1 | part 65 | ao3

cw: i don’t do drugs, dad, it’s only marijuana

“Uh,” Steve splutters, choking on his own spit. “Is that wise?”

It’s a question Eddie gives zero fucks about, apparently, because he’s already lighting a joint — cherry bright, shadows sharp, chin held aloft as he hollows his cheeks. “Extremely,” he croaks, blowing smoke out in a thick ring.

Steve’s mouth flattens to a frown. “Literally how?” he begs to know. “I thought we were supposed to be, like, fortifying our defenses. Building our mind shields or whatever the fuck.”

“Au contraire, mon frère.” Eddie takes a hit and holds it. “We are fighting a psychic wizard. Therefore…” Another toke, another trail of perfect smoke rings, ducklings lined up big to small. “It stands to reason that we should trash his battlefield.”

It stands to reason we should what?

“…Ohhhhhh,” Steve nods when he gets it. He reaches up to take the joint, tipping his chin in thanks when Eddie slots it into the V of his fingers, and squints as he sips in a quick puff; adds a French inhale at the end of a second huge hit. Eddie’s not the only one who knows how to do cool tricks. “So this is like the time we let a bunch of cows loose on Thompson’s field the night before the homecoming game.”

“Yeah, exactly— well- well, no, actually, not like that, what in the Indiana bumpkin fuck—? Never mind.” Eddie tosses his hair and rocks on his heels, and Steve can’t help but snort as he watches him shake himself clear like a little Eddie Etch-A-Sketch. “Important things only,” Eddie mumbles to himself. “Essentials,” he’s saying, “Essentials. What are essentials?”

And meanwhile Steve is saying: “Eddie-A-Sketch.”

Eddie hollers a startled cackle as he whips his head around, his face all squiggly with confusion, brows pinched, nostrils flared. “Steve, what the hell?”

Steve giggles uncontrollably. “Etch-A-Skeddie? No—”

“Holy shit.” He scrubs his hands down his face and laughs weakly at the ceiling. “How much weed did you just smoke?”

From anyone else it would sound like scolding, but Eddie just pulls out a few more joints, sticks three in his mouth at once, and mumbles good-naturedly, “Lemme catch up, I guess. Christ.”

While Eddie smokes enough weed to briefly hotbox a room with a hole in the floor, Steve watches the water ripple, spellbound by shimmering shapes in the dark for what feels like decades until he remembers all at once that it fucking sucks in here. It’s cold, and he’s starving, and his back is kinda stiff. “Hey…”

He looks over his shoulder, rolling into the stretch. Eddie’s doing some weird noodly shit in a corner, bent at the waist with his arms pretzeled overhead, swinging side to side, the ends of his hair sweeping the dusty, splintered planks. “Hey! Eddie.”

“Hmm?”

“Weren’t we supposed to be finding supplies?”

“Oh, shit.” Eddie swings himself upright; starts pacing back and forth. “Shit, yeah. What did we need?”

“Besides food and water?”

“Booze!” He steps onto a pile of boxes just to hop back down again. “Booze, music, more drugs…”

More drugs. Great idea.

Steve plucks the stubby remnant of a joint up off the floor; Eddie spins around on tiptoe to peer out the boathouse window, and when he looks back at Steve he’s got a Cheshire cat grin. “Say, Steve-o. Stevie boy. Svennie—”

“I’ll kill you,” Steve coughs around a mouthful of smoke.

“Since I’m pretty sure we’re one hundred percent going to jail for, uh. All of this…” He waves his arms around at their whole situation, then gestures invitingly to the house at the top of the hill. “Whaddaya say we add breaking and entering to the list?”

—

part 67

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[crowandmousewritingco]

Holiday Hardships

Paring: Marcus Acacius x gn!reader

Words: 1.3k

Rating: G

Summary: The party rages on leaving Marcus no time to grab your final present.

Author: Mod Mouse

Notes: I'm cutting it close with getting my entry in for the What Could Go Wrong writing challenge hosted by @beefrobeefcal. But here it is! For my prompt I got Marcus Acacius needs a last minute gift and can't leave the house. I hope you enjoy!

‘Why did I think this was a good idea?’ Marcus thought to himself as another round of cheers exploded from the living room. All he wanted tonight was to have a quiet New Years Eve with some expensive wine and you by his side. There was a new series he wanted to binge watch tonight with you since he saw the trailer for it, and he hoped to do just that. But just like Jack Frost, someone nipped away his fantasy. Lucius pulled the “You Owe Me” card for him, saving Marcus from a faculty party last year where he played Santa instead of Marcus. ‘Tis the fucking season.

Many guests gathered at his house for a modern Saturnalia New Years Eve party though “Saturnalia” was stretching it as a theme. Mostly it was an excuse for excess drinking and partying all through the night. Strangers in bedsheet togas filled the space as they danced and drank cheap beer. It was a night to remember despite they would all have hazy memories in the morning. He was lucky he lived away from everyone because he knew the neighbors would complain about the bass filled music shaking his walls. 

Everyone from the College of Ancient Studies had gathered here tonight for the wild evening. Lucius was bound and determined to win a round of beer pong since he had a historical losing streak. But he always challenged the champion of “Gladiators,” a self nominated name for the group of local rugby players, hence his tendency for losing. Geta and Caracalla were already upstairs ruining the new bedsheets with whatever activities they decided to try out on Marcus’ time. The two grad students had charmed half the TAs and tended to research their theses with hands-on learning. 

Marcus sighed and rubbed his eyes pausing in his refilling the snack table. A mess of chip crumbs and puddles of beer seeping into the untouched fruit cake coated the cheap table cloths giving the area a layer of stickiness. The premade gingerbread was already missing a wall and leaned dangerously to the left, making the icing drip onto the table. It reminded him of your yearly tradition to make cookies so you two would have a treat as you opened presents. 

His eyes widened at the realization. The craziness of the party had taken so much time away from holiday preparation that he completely forgot to get you the last present. Marcus cursed but the music overpowered his frustration. ‘Okay okay no time to panic,” Marcus thought to himself. There was no time to find an open store, and he couldn’t leave his house at risk of it burning to the ground from the party. 

‘Think Marcus!’ He thought as he paced the kitchen floor. What could he possibly do? Anything he thought of felt shallow and unworthy of you. He sighed and leaned his hands against the sink, a buzz of ideas filling his head as he tried to think, the loud music not helping him brainstorm. None of them seemed possible. Marcus scratched his beard in thought as he peered out the kitchen window. A fresh blanket of snow covered the backyard giving the county home an added holiday glow.

Glow? Marcus furrowed his brow remembering a recent purchase. Quickly he rummaged through piles of plastic bags from his last errands run, and he smiled when his hand brushed against the box. Marcus glanced behind his shoulder. No one at the party would notice his short absences. He had a plan brewing, as he made a mental list of what materials he needed. Marcus weaved around the party dodging guests as his arms filled with required objects. He was going to make this perfect for you. 

All you wanted was a drink. It was the only thing getting through the required family gathering you were forced to attend. You were hard set on leaving at 9 giving you plenty of time to party with the boys. When Marcus told you of the change of plans, you were a little sad but you knew it would still be fun. You liked hanging out with all the other professors and grad students letting loose one last time before the spring semester started. 

There was a long line of cars parked outside your house and you were suddenly worried that you would have to walk a mile just to get inside. But as you drifted towards the driveway you smiled as you saw your normal spot roped off with red rope strung from traffic cones. A handmade signed read “VIP” was attached to a wooden stack in the ground and you couldn’t help but chuckle. 

You quickly parked and gathered your bag, ready to join the festivities. As your shoes crunched under the freshly fallen stone as you walked up to your front door, something caught your attention. Another handmade sign hung from the wooden porch fence, this time reading “Winter Wonderland this way.” This confused you since you knew this wasn’t the theme of the party. 

Curiously you followed the signs instructions lending you around to the side of your shared house. When you peaked around the corner, you were greeted with decorations galore.  Green garland decorated the wooden fence in undulating waves. Small baubles hung from the fence posts in a multitude of colors. With a small click you opened the gate with a creak and gasped as you saw the scene in front of you. 

A warm glow illuminated from inside the enclosed space as Marcus stood in the middle of the backyard. Gentle holiday music drifted from the speaker giving the area a festive mood. It truly was a Winter Wonderland in your backyard. You swore this wasn’t like this when you were here, adding to your curiosity. At the sound Marcus turned, his smile warming your heart. 

“Marc this is amazing,” You smiled as you slowly twirled, taking in the festive sight. The warm glow emanated from the small fairy lights that were strung on the hanging planters woven in the branches of the shrubs and trees. Quickly you hugged your fiance and Marcus smiled, lifted the glasses of wine above your head to keep it from spilling. 

He quickly kissed your head taking in the familiar scent of your perfume. “I know tonight didn’t quite go as planned, but I thought a little us time would do us some good.” 

You lifted your head from his chest finally noticing the alcohol in his hands, and you smiled. “You know me so well.” 

Marcus gently handed you the flute and you happily took a sip. The bubbles tickled your nose, but you always loved the taste of champagne. It reminded you of how you met Marcus. A  holiday party where you two were the new professors and you discovered you shared the same passion for Homer’s epics. And the rest is history. 

With a tip of his glass he said, “Here’s to us. May the new year be full of our love and happiness.” 

You repeated the action, clinking the glasses together, a wide smile brightening up your face. “To us.” 

Marcus sipped on his champagne and kissed your cheek just as the last song ended. After a few seconds of silence, Auld Lang Syne wafted through the white backyard. Marcus chuckled. “How very appropriate. Here” He carefully takes your flute from you, setting both on the glass patio table. With a low bow he asked, “May I have this dance?” 

You laughed covering your mouth with your hand. “Always the gentleman. Yes I will have this dance.” You replied, setting your bag on the concrete steps. 

Marcus stood back up this time, his own smile gracing his lips. He held out a gloved hand to you and you graciously accepted. With a gentleness he reserved only for you, he pulled you into his chest, the warmth filling you with a sense of security. The party raged on inside, but the only thing you could focus on was Marcus’ heartbeat. The boys could wait.

Credit to @strangergraphics and @inklore

All Works Taglist:

@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose

Pedro Characters Taglist:

@littlemisspascal @burntheedges

@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal

@morallyinept @lady-bess

@pedrostories @rivnedell

@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing

@jessthebaker @pedrit0-pascalit0

[wardenparker]

The Unbearable Weight of Perfection, ch 10

Javi Gutierrez x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

When an accident of fate throws Javi G into the path of his soulmate, his instinct is to dive in head first. Adjusting to life as the fated partner of someone you barely know is going to be harder than either of you suspect, but anything worth having is worth working for. Isn't it?

(This story is heavily inspired by the lovely house museums that I work in every day and the fantastic few months that HBO was using our houses to film a TV show in fall! I spent each day on that set in wonder and I can't wait to share the experience with all of you through this story.)

Rating: M for Mature but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 7.8k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this story include: Cursing, alcohol, food, references to abusive family members -- i.e. Lucas, discussion of money/finances.* Talk of pregnancy/family planning. Workplace accident. Hospital trip. Summary: Billie confides worries to you, and there is an accident on set that leads everyone to do a little introspective thinking. Notes: It's a check in with the besties this week! Please enjoy this week's beautiful chapter photo: the Great Hall at the Breakers.

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Sitting with your sketchbook in the trailer you share with Javi when you’re not needed on set has become normal. It’s almost lunch and then you’ll go join people at craft services, but for right now you’ll enjoy sitting patiently in your trailer with some music playing and your pencils and markers close at hand. Tamara asked if you could make her a dress in the same material you’re wearing so you’re awash with new ideas.

The knock on the trailer door is soft, almost hesitant. Pausing before the it opens after you call for whoever is on the other side to come in. The light from outside is bright and sunny, making Billie blink as she steps up into room. “Hey?”

“Hey gorgeous!” You set your sketchbook aside immediately. “I didn’t know you were here today! Come on in.”

“Sorry to just drop by.” She sends you a small smile. “Are you busy?”

“Of course not,” you wave her in and instantly reach for the nearby mini fridge where you keep cold drinks because Javi is obsessed with ice-cold drinks now that he lives in America. “I’m never too busy for you, you know that.”

She accept the coke and sit down on the other side of the sofa. “Thanks.” She doesn’t open it, just toys with the little tab to open as she tries to figure out how to ask you.

“Bill…?” You get up long enough to make sure the trailer door is completely shut before going back to sit across from her. Legs crossed and ears open. “Is everything okay?”

She opens her mouth to reassure you, to make that instant look of worry on your face go away. “Has Alex talked to you about me?” Is what comes out instead.

“A little.” So that is what this is about. You’re curious, but not about to pry. It’s been a few weeks since the pool party and they’ve been on a few dates, but as far as you know nothing too deep has happened. “He’s told me how much he likes you, and we talked a little about things you like when he was fishing for date ideas.”

“Does he- complain?” She bites her lip, worrying it between her teeth. The can rolls nervously in her hands for something to do. She wants to pace, but quite frankly the trailer is too small.

“What?” Shocked by that idea, you reek back and sit up straight. “Oh my God, no. Not at all. What would you think that?”

“We haven’t had sex yet.” Billie rushes out, blushing furiously and ducking her head down. She’s wanted to, but she’s just not been able to go through with it.

“Oh. Um…okay…” Shifting slightly where you sit, you teeter with the idea for a few seconds before getting up and going to sit next to your cousin instead. “Are you upset about it because you want to or because you don’t want to?”

“I want to….” She admits, rolling her eyes at herself. “I really fucking want to.” Alex had obviously wanted to last night when they were making out on his fucking gorgeous leather sofa, but the second he had reached for her pants, she had panicked.

"Okay," you gently rub one hand up and down her back. "What's stopping you, then?"

She groans softly and drops her head into her hand. “Disappointment.”

"In Alex?" Your shoulders raise a little and you frown. "What did he do?"

“No.” She shakes her head quickly and looks at you. “I’m afraid that he might be disappointed in me.”

"I seriously doubt that." But of course everyone has hang ups. It's only fair, and Billie is only human. But you refuse to believe that there could be enough 'wrong' with your cousin for a sweet guy like Alex to be disappointed in her. "Talk to me, honey. I'm not sure what you mean."

“I—” it’s stupid. “My ex hated sex with me.” She admits. “Said that it reminded him every time that we weren’t soulmates.”

"Well that's bullshit," you huff, nose wrinkling in distaste. This seems like a drink-in-hand conversation but there isn't any liquor around and it's still before noon, so you pop the top on your soda and encourage her to do the same. "But you're worried Alex will feel the same?"

“I have a birthmark. A very vivid one.” She huffs, knowing that she’s never told any of the cousins and had sworn her parents to secrecy when she realized it at a young age. “Can’t even cover it up with a bush.”

"Ah...so it's...in his face? So to speak?" That...would certainly be a reminder to someone who is self conscious about sleeping with someone other than their soul mate.

“Yeah. And Alex is pretty fucking perfect.” The slow pace of the relationship has been amazing and he’s given her amazing conversation and interactions. Completely different from the first misunderstanding, she’s quickly falling for him and that terrifies her.

"Have you thought about talking to him about this?" Seeing her this torn up isn't something you would wish on anybody, but the fact that Billie hasn't just talked to Alex yet actually worries you a little. She's always been a fairly straightforward person, even when that meant the time when you were seven that she told you your headband looked like an alien's eyes. She's honest, which means she must be really twisted up about the whole situation.

“What can I say?” She snorts. “Sorry every time you see me naked you’re gonna remember I’m not your soulmate?” She asks. “This man is looking for forever and I’m not it.”

“How do you know?” You ask her honestly. “Have you seen him naked already?”

She scoffs. “Yeah, like that’s a possibility.” She closes her eyes. “Be for real. And I just- I really like him.”

“Okay, maybe he isn’t your soulmate. Maybe he is. We don’t know.” Personally, you think it would be pretty incredible and you’re not willing to count it out — especially after one of the PAs showed up to set yesterday glowing with the news that his mechanic is his soulmate and they’re getting married next weekend. This production seems charmed to bring people together and you would love for Billie and Alex to join those ranks. “There’s no reason you can’t love somebody and be with somebody that isn’t your soulmate, honey. You know that.”

She was so hurt by the things that her ex said that she has her doubts even though she knows you’re right. “Maybe I should just stop seeing him.” The mere thought makes her want to cry and for a split second, she regrets ever meeting Alex Powell.

“No you shouldn’t.” That’s a terrible thing to say but you know it’s just out of fear, so instead of reeling back you hug her close to your side. “But I do think you should talk to him about why you’re scared.”

“Do you know how horrible it’s going be when the way he looks at me changes?” Now tears start to slide down her cheeks. “I think I’ve fallen in love with him.”

“I don’t think it’s going to be as bad as you fear, babe.” To have your crying cousin on your couch breaks your heart, especially because you are so sure that things would be okay if she just talked to him. Alex has been nothing but sweet, attentive, and open with her. It has resulted in a lot of deeply goofy moments on set and in your group of friends, but the end result is always the same. They seem completely crazy about each other. “I’d bet anything in the world that he feels the same way about you. You guys seem so in tune.”

“Until he sees that fucking birthmark.” She chokes out, hating the universe right now.

"Billie, be totally honest with me," you nudge your cousin so she'll actually look up. "What is the percentage possibility that your ex was just a giant fuckwad and the birth mark is perfectly fine? Because I'm leaning toward that being the case."

This is why she has come to you. You always seem to knock some sense into her. Balance her out when she’s adrift. “He did cheat.” She admits after a moment. “Because her tits were bigger.”

"I'm confused, then." Your face twists when you look at her because you're trying not to frown. You're not judging her. Hell no. You're judging the bastard that mistreated her. "Why are we considering anything he said?"

“Because…” she bites her lip and sighs heavily. “What if he’s right?” She voices the very vivid fear quietly, as if speaking it too loud would make it happen.

"I just don't think he is." But your own feelings about it aside, you let Billie practically crawl into your lap and hug her tight. "But the question is...do you like him enough to take the chance?"

“God, does it mean I don’t if I say no?” She doesn’t even want to think about that. “No, I like him so much that I’m about to have a breakdown.” She chokes out a hollow laugh.

If you could fix everything in the world for her right here and now, you would. But this is something she has to do for herself. "I know I sound like a broken record, Bill, but you have to talk to him."

“I know.” She had known that before she ever knocked on this door. She just needed to hear it said aloud by someone she trusts.

"I love you so much," you promise her, hugging her fiercely. "And if he breaks your heart I'm going to kick his ass."

She laughs, throwing her head back and feeling so much better about it all. “I’m so glad you walked into my shop.” She huffs, hugging you back. “You know exactly what to say.”

“I missed the hell out of you,” you remind her, feeling a little lighter just to see her smile again. You can’t completely predict what will happen between her and Alex, but they both deserve happiness and love and all you can do is hope they find it together. “And I’m so grateful to have you back in my life.”

“Me too.” When you are kids, you don’t think about those connections until they are gone. “Have you heard from your mom since you’ve been back?” She’s aware of the disastrous meeting, but you had been vague about the aftermath.

“Not yet.” And if you’re honest? You’re dreading it. Like really, deeply dreading it. “I’m half afraid she’s going to show up at the house or something, but the. I remember how little effort she’s made since Dad died and I know she won’t bother.”

“Does she even know where you live?” She asks seriously, “other than just, Los Angelas?” She snorts and waves her hand. “Pretty big city after all.”

"I don't think so." Which would be a comfort, if you didn't know how petty she can be. "But Gillian Miller -- do you remember her? -- she knows Javi's last name. I can see my mom being awful enough to track us down if she thought she could get something out of it."

“Then keep the gate closed when the construction workers aren’t there.” She suggests.

"Fair enough." It's good advice, you have to give her that. Hopefully it will never be necessary for your or Javi's safety and security, but it is good advice. "Do you want to come to lunch with me and Jav? Maybe or maybe not eat with your boyfriend that's crazy about you?"

She worries her bottom lip again. “I had hoped to get an invite to craft services.” She admits with a small grin.

"Come on, gorgeous." One last squeeze now that you're both feeling a little lighter, and you aim your cousin toward the trailer door. "Let me just text Javi that we'll meet him there."

“That sounds good.” She twists her fingers and sets the unopened drink down. “Alex should be on set today, at least I think he was supposed to be on set.”

"He is." You had thought that was why she was here but apparently not. "Which means he should be at lunch. Maybe you can talk to him after if you're ready?"

“I had come to apologize.” She admits softly. “For leaving yesterday. I- uh, kind of ditched him last night when things got heavy.” Her brows lift suggestively.

Your shoulders drop immediately in sympathy. "Billie. Honey, you need to talk to him."

“I knooooooooow.” She sighs, closing her eyes. “He must hate me right now.”

"Honey, it's Alex," you remind her gently. "He's probably worried you hate him."

“How could I hate him?” Her eyes widen and immediately fill with worry. “He’s amazing, probably the best man I’ve ever met, besides dad and Javi.”

"Well then." Pushing the door open, you usher her through with a grin. "Go tell him that."

Feeling so much lighter than she had when she entered the trailer, Billie practically skips down the steps and nearly bounds into a PA rushing by. “Oh sorry!” She calls out.

"Outta the way!" The man calls in return, not even stopping to look as he sprints toward the front door of the museum.

“Holy shit.” She looks towards you with her brows raised. “His pants were on fire.”

"I wonder what happened?" One PA running across the lawn isn't much to sniff at. Maybe he was late. Maybe one of the demanding producers wanted coffee. Who knows?

“Probably got yelled at for something he missed.” She theorizes before she shrugs.

"Probably." You agree, just seconds before you notice someone else running for the house at top speed. "...That's...that's a coincidence, right?"

“No.” For some reason, Billie’s heart drops down to her toes and she’s sure something is horribly wrong. “No, it’s not!” She gasps out as she darts towards the house herself.

There is no choice but to sprint after her, doing your best to run and to pull your phone out to text Javi at the same time. You know they’re shooting in the library today, and you simultaneously are terrified that a person may have gotten hurt but also that something could have happened to that precious, gorgeous room.

Dread curls in her stomach as she races toward the mansion. “Oh god, oh god.” She can’t explain it, but her heart is racing.

All movement in the house when you reach it seems to be heading back toward the library and you follow Billie directly on her heels. The crew are all calling to each other in a shorthand that neither you or she understands and there is too much movement to parcel things out at first, but through the crowd you catch sight of Tamara and wave to her.

Billie hears you and changes course, aware that she can’t get in the way but she needs to be here. “What’s going on?” She demands, after shoving her way through people standing about.

"Everyone is okay." Tamara starts, though she can see from your and Billie's faces that you don't quite believe her. "The medic took a look and said everybody's okay. They've just got him on the stretcher as a precaution."

Billie’s face drains of all life and she whips her head around. “Alex?” She knows that he had said he was filming with Tamara today and she’s immediately leaving your side to rush over and demand they let her through.

"Let her through, please." Alex's voice isn't particularly strong, but that's to be expected right now. He's propped up on the set medic's stretcher and still feeling a bit fuzzy. When Billie doesn't appear immediately he tries to turn but the medic touches his shoulder to keep him in one place while he's reading the movie star's vitals. "Baby?"

“I’m here.” She’s not gentle as she pushes through the people surrounding Alex. Breaking through with a worried expression on her face that blossoms further when she finally sets eyes on her boyfriend. “Oh god. Are you okay?” She demands, nearly breaking down into tears.

“I’ll be fine.” It’s a promise he intends to keep, although he knows there’s current a decent sized bump on his head and he’s lying on a stretcher. But he’s more worried about his girlfriend worrying than anything else. “You think a falling prop is gonna keep me from living a life of shenanigans and swagger?” His hand cups her cheek and he smiles. “No way in hell.”

“Oh God.” She huffs. “A prop fell on you?” Her fingers are gentle, probing his head gently and she clicks her tongue when she feels the large goose egg on his skull. “Baby…” she whines softly before she swallows. “It’s a good thing you have a hard head.” She jokes weakly, eyes sparkling with fresh tears.

“It’s probably just a concussion.” Alex echoes the set medic’s opinion, but he can’t hide his relief at a small doting moment with Billie. After last night he was convinced she was mad at him but he couldn’t figure out what the hell he had done wrong.

“Then you can’t be alone.” She blurts out, nodding almost to herself before she looks over the medic to get his confirmation. “He can’t be alone, right? With a concussion?” She looks back at him. “Natasha Richardson didn’t pay attention to a concussion and died.”

“That’s right.” The medic nods in turn. “We’re gonna take him to the hospital just to make sure there’s nothing we missed, and he’ll need some rest time.” He looks between the two of them. “You live with him? If you don’t, you might plan to stay the week to keep an eye on him.”

Alex opens his mouth, probably to protest that he doesn’t need to be coddled or watched like a toddler, but she answers before he can. “I’ll stay with him.” She reaches up for his hands and squeezes them gently after she takes them. “I’m staying with you.” She repeats firmly.

“Coming to the hospital too?” He asks, suddenly a lot more amenable to the idea if it means Billie is going to dote on him. Does he need a babysitter? Of course not. But he does like having her there.

“Yes.” Plans to have lunch with you are off the table. This takes precedence. “I’ll follow the ambulance so you have a ride home.”

He’s jostled a little as the medic starts to roll the stretcher down the hall, but Alex holds on to Billie’s hand. “Thought you were mad at me…” he mumbles, feeling stupid about the whole thing.

“No.” She feels worse, ashamed that he had thought he was the problem. “No, I’m mad at me.”

“Wanna explain that to me later when I’m a little less concussed?” He asks, big smile trying its to make her smile right along with him.

“Yeah.” Her smile isn’t as bright, but he she lifts his hand up and kisses the back of it. “First I’m gonna spoil you.” She promises. “You deserve it after being hurt.”

“I did it to myself,” he admits, but pauses to flash a thumbs up at you and Tamara and Javi as he’s pushed past.

“How did you make a prop fall on your head?” She snorts shaking her head. Production will have a shit fit, especially with one of their principal actors being taken out of action for a few days.

“I was distracted,” he admits, though he leaves out that he was distracted trying to figure out what he had done wrong. “And I walked right the fuck into one of the dummy walls. It teetered, knocked a plant off a shelf, and the plant fell on my head.”

“Oh god.” She presses her lips together so she doesn’t smile or laugh, knowing that it’s not funny that he’s hurt. “Baby, you have to be careful.”

“Good advice,” he smirks at her as they hit the front door. “For an hour ago.”

She snorts, giggling quietly behind her hand while the other is still firmly in his. It’s a good damn thing the door is oversized double doors because she is not letting him go.

“Text us from the hospital!” You call after them, and thankfully get a thumbs up from your cousin as they leave the house.

“He will be okay.” Javi knows that as much as you pretend Alex annoys you, you love your friend. He has become very dear to you.

“He’s not hurt too badly, right?” Javi and Tamara had explained what happened, but you’d only gotten a glance at Alex as he passed by. Not enough to assure you that he really is okay.

“He was knocked out for a second.” Javi admits with a wince. “But he came to almost right away.”

“Shit…” you breathe, shaking your head.

“He’s been off all day.” Javi admits with a soft sigh. “They need to check him closely. He’s been missing marks, forgetting lines.”

“It…might have something to do with Billie,” you tell them quietly, holding in an apologetic cringe. “They…I guess last night didn’t go well and he might have thought she was upset with him.”

He frowns for a moment and then remembers the text that you had sent him. He hadn’t looked at it until you were sending him another text. “Did she say something to you?”

“Yeah, she came to our trailer to talk to me about it.” You don’t want to say too much since it was a private conversation, it seems like Alex was as distracted and upset as Billie was. “But judging from the way she was glued to his side on the way out of here, I have a feeling they’ll be okay.”

“I hope so.” Javi pulls you close, needing to touch you after being upset and there being an injury on set. “I like them together.”

“I do too.” The comfort of his arms is a welcome thing right now, and you sink against him happily. “I do too, cariño.”

******

Even if he’s settled into his room after arriving and the hospital and had a CT scan - it’s amazing how quick a movie studio can get medical orders expedited - Billie still fusses over him. Smoothing down the blanket after he’s been changed into a gown by the nursing staff, waiting outside at their insistence, and fluffing the pillow behind his head.

“Babe.” Alex catches her hand when Billie goes to fix his pillow for the third time, and smiles softly. “I’m okay. I promise.”

“But you could have not been okay.” Her voice is quiet, his hand warm and comforting and she glances into his eyes.

“To apologize.” She closes her eyes but leans into him as he puts his arm around her. There aren’t any cords or IVs to tangle up, so she doesn’t hesitate.

"I wanted to apologize too," he tells her, pressing a kiss in her hair and one on her cheek when she lifts her head. "I know you want to take things slow and I'm sorry if you felt pressured. I...got a little enthusiastic."

“No, it’s not you.” She takes a deep breath. “It was completely me. Fuck, every other woman in the world would call me crazy for running off last night.”

Alex blows out a breath but doesn't shake his head. The doctor told him to keep steady and he's trying to be good. "I don't care about every other woman in the world. I care about you."

That makes her feel better, a little braver and she thinks about what you said. “My last relationship….it didn’t end well.” She explains. “And I’ve been a little shy about taking that step because of that.”

Alex immediately frowns, searching Billie's face with concern. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

“Not physically.” She shakes her head, wanting to reassure him. “It was emotional.”

"Baby." He hugs her tight to his side with both arms, pushing out a breath instead of making any kind of sound. He knows it can come across as sounding like he's upset at her and that isn't the case at all. "I'm so sorry."

“It’s not your fault.” She huffs. “It’s just—” she bites her lip. “I’ve got a noticeable mark on me. One that he couldn’t stand to see, and he let me know it every time.”

"He got mad about your birthmark?" He knows she has one. She's mentioned it before. But he didn't figure it could be anything to speak of -- he's seen her in a bikini and it was covered up.

“Yeah.” She swallows. “Some times he would just refuse to touch me and look at me like I was disgusting.”

"You did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment." Alex wracks his brain, trying to remember if Billie had given him any information about this guy -- like his name or where he lives. He absolutely would show up on the asshole's doorstep. "And I'm so sorry you went through it. Anybody lucky enough to have you should be thanking god every day for the privilege."

That makes her feel better. “When you— I just froze and panicked and took out my issues on you.” She turns her head. “I’m so sorry.”

"Thank you for explaining." He's playing with her fingers slightly, holding her hand but also tracing the lines in her palm with his fingertips because she told him once that it was soothing for her. "Apology accepted, sweetheart. And I am sorry that I pressured you. I'll wait as long as you need to be comfortable."

“It’s not because I don’t want to.” She promises. “I mean, you’re…you.” She snorts. “Sexy, charming, kind.” It’s sad to say but before her ex, she probably would have jumped into bed with him the first day.

"I would toss my hair," Alex teases. "But that would go against doctor's orders."

She laughs softly, feeling like that dread was just a figment of her imagination. The boogeyman under the bed that turned out to be a doll. “Don’t want to disobey doctor’s orders.” She hums.

"Which also means I can't fall asleep for a while." They don't tell people to stay awake for 24full hours anymore, but rest still needs to be monitored. Alex's doc had recommended he stay awake as long as he could manage.

“Since I’m staying over, we can stay awake together.” She knows that he can’t be too active or stressed, but maybe he won’t mind. “Stay up late, swapping manly stories.” She pulls out her old impression of Donkey from Shrek. “And in the mornin’, I’m makin’ waffles.”

"Ooooo. waffles." Alex's eyes go wide. "We missed lunch because I was an idiot."

“Are you hungry?” She asks immediately, sitting up.

"Not enough that I want you to leave," he pouts, hugging her closer. He can wait until they serve dinner. He'd much rather have Billie at his side.

“I can order DoorDash to the room?” She offers with a sly grin. “You aren’t on any restrictions.”

"Smart." He lights up and grins. "My baby is so fucking smart."

She grins and turns to kiss his cheek. “Let me grab my phone out of my purse and we will decide what we want to order, okay?”

“Baby…” She’s across the room when he looks up at her again, with concern and hope written across his features. When Billie looks up questioningly, he gulps back nerves. “What does your birthmark look like?”

Her face falls, knowing that everything will change once he knows what it’s like. But she has to trust him to not be like him. “It’s a strawberry colored mark.” She tells him. “Right here.” Pointing to right above her mound, where hair refuses to grow because of it, so she couldn’t hide it if she wanted to.

Alex’s lips press into a thin line, his whole body tightening in an instant. “Is it, um…” he’s all but holding his breath so even his voice is tight, but his eyes are wide. “Is it shaped almost like a star?”

“…Yeeaaaaaah.” She draws out slowly, confused. “How did you know that?”

“Do you remember how I told you I never do nude scenes?” He asks, just as slowly. It has been a conversational point early on but he has sort of skirted the topic.

“Yeah?” She had honestly just imagined that he wasn’t as big as he would like it known. Or maybe his circumcision wasn’t perfect. Whatever it was, it was his decision to put his body on screen and she didn’t judge him for it.

“It’s…because I have a mark from my soulmate.” He swallows hard and blinks fast, resting to keep himself from overreacting. Or at least from reacting too early. Until it’s confirmed, he doesn’t want to freak out.

She’s not stupid, but the implication sails right over her head. “Oh.” She hums, biting her lip and bringing her phone back over to the bed to sit down. She pats his hand gently. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as mine.” She snorts.

“Baby.” He almost laughs but manages to stifle it. That would be awful, to make her feel like she’s being laughed at. “I’m saying…we might have the same mark.”

“What?” She freezes for a second, gaping at him. “No, no, I couldn’t be that fucking lucky.” She huffs, shaking her head. “You must have really knocked the shit out of yourself.” Still, just the thought that he had thought that deserves a kiss and she drops one on his lips quickly. “You are so fucking sweet.”

“I’m not trying to be weird and get you to look at my junk,” he clarifies, laughing at himself a little. “But don’t you think it’s worth checking?” The ache in his chest is pronounced because he loves her so fucking much — he fell so fast and so hard and he’s been holding himself back the last few weeks so he wouldn’t spook her. She deserved that. Common decency.

“Should I show you mine?” She asks, “or would you rather show me yours.” Her mouth is suddenly dry and she doesn’t know what to think.

“Whichever you’re more comfortable with.” He doesn’t know which he’d prefer. He might not care. Right now what he cares about is finding it if it’s true.

“I-“ she searches his eyes. “Show me yours?” If it doesn’t match, she can probably hide her disappointment better than she can swallow seeing whatever plays across his face.

“Okay.” He nods slowly but clears his throat. “Just…” His cheeks are red with embarrassment. “I’m a grower not a shower, okay?”

She smirks and tilts her head to the side as she watches him fluster. “Baby, you can’t help that anymore than I can help how big my tits are.”

“I’m just sayin’,” he protests, but still moves the blanket that he’s been sitting under for a few hours now.

“You don’t have to show me it all.” She reminds him, finding it absolutely adorable that he’s defensive about this. “You know when a guy just shows the base of his cock? That’s so fucking hot.”

“I’m sure placating me, but at the moment I’m not sure I care.” He huffs at himself, uses the blanket as cover to arrange his hand into some level of modesty because he still refuses to pressure her into any kind of intimacy she isn’t ready for, and finally pushes the blanket aside again. The pink, star-like mark is obvious and not small by any means, but it’s right there. “It showed up when I was four,” he explains. “So I know it’s my soulmate’s.”

Four. Alex is four years older than she is. The mark is identical to hers, making her fingers itch to reach out and touch the mark, but she can’t do that. Instead, she’s leaning back, pulling her shirt up and pulling her leggings and panties down to show him the mark she has carried since birth.

“Well…” Alex hiccups, the tears welling up in his eyes. He may put on a tough guy front, but this is his soulmate. “I,um…oh my god, baby…” is all he can say as he reaches for her.

“We match.” She manages to whisper, her chin wobbling as she realizes that she doesn’t have to worry about him being disgusted by a mark that they don’t share. A visual reminder of being incompatible according to the universe. “I can’t believe it.” She chokes out right before they come together in a kiss.

“I love you.” It comes out of his mouth so fast that it’s mumbled against her lips but he won’t apologize this time and he’s certainly not going to take it back.

She hears it, but she’s not pulling away to question it. Instead she’s cupping his cheek gently and humming against his lips in return. “Love you too.” It’s right, and perfect and making her feel just as dizzy as he must feel right now.”

******

“Finally got a text from Billie,” you announce, setting the platter of grilled chicken beside the large bowl of Caesar salad and tray of garlic bread on the table by the pool. Jason and Moira came over after shooting wrapped early for the day and Javi had suggested relaxing to try to diffuse some of the worry while you waited for news about Alex. “All of his scans can back clear. Just a concussion, no complications.”

“Oh thank god.” Moira instinctively leans towards Jason, unsure what she would do if he had been the one injured. Although she’s not been told about a soulmate connection, it’s obvious they are crazy about each other. “I can’t believe he was hurt.”

“I know she blames herself, but it was just an accident.” You pour yourself a drink from the pitcher of iced tea in the table and dour back as everyone starts to serve themselves. “At least he’s okay.”

“Why would she blame herself?” She frowns, reaching do the garlic toast and splitting a piece with Jason. He’s got a shirtless scene coming up and he has been cutting back on carbs.

“They had a…” Not quite a fight, but you don’t know what to call it. “A miscommunication, I guess? Last night. And they were both upset.”

“Oh….” Jason winced as his soulmate lets out a knowing sigh. “I know that she has to be upset, but Alex is a big boy. He’s alright.” He says as he serves Moira a piece of chicken. It’s a thigh and she loves the darker meat when it comes to chicken.

“I can understand the worry though,” Moira agrees. “I would worry if it was you.”

“Yeah.” Javi nods. “I think I would be frantic.” He doesn’t know what he would do if it were him. They would probably have to hospitalize him right beside you for anxiety.

“You’re going to be a mess when I’m pregnant,” you predict, shouting your soulmate a knowing grin.

“I will.” He snorts before his eyes widen. “I should ask the contractor to make sure the counters don’t have sharp edges.” He declares. “Or the fireplaces.”

“Javi, it will be fine.” It’s sweet that he worries, though, since it comes from love. “We can’t guard kids from everything.”

“I was thinking about you.” He huffs. “Your belly will be big and you won’t be able to see your feet!”

“Well then you’ll have to guide me around,” you tease, but only because you know he was planning on it anyway. You’ll be surprised if he lets you do a single thing while you’re pregnant.

“I will.” He agrees seriously, passing you the wonderful Greek salad that you had made to go with the refreshing meal. “No accidents.”

Moira’s smile is soft and affectionate, knowing how excited you and Javi are to start a family. “So does that mean I get to be an auntie sooner rather than later?” She teases.

Javi glances at you, knowing that the decision to announce your plans should solely be decided by you.

“Still not for a little bit.” Despite the caution, you’re beaming. “We’ll probably start trying in a few months, but who knows how long it will take.”

“Oh it’s gonna happen right away.” Moira predicts with a grin. “One hundred percent.”

“Oh yeah?” You smirk at her confidence. “You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.” She snorts playfully, winking at you. “If practice counted, you’d already be due.”

“I mean…” Even as you giggle, Javi is blushing like mad and that only makes you laugh that much harder. “You’re not wrong. But if practice is what counted, you two would be expecting already, too.”

“That’s not fair.” Jason pouts immediately, although his chest expands a little with the pride of knowing that his soulmate has been bragging to her best friend. “We haven’t been together as long as you two.”

“I tried to get you two to dance together at our wedding,” you remind him, still laughing as you start in on your dinner in earnest.

“I was nervous!” Jason huffs, grinning at how ridiculous it now seems. “I was afraid of looking like a goober in front of the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on.”

Moira chuckles and leans over to kiss his cheek. “The only difference now is that you know I find your goober moments cute.”

“Yeah, you think they are my best attributes.” He jokes, making his soulmate laugh again.

“That’s because I have impeccable taste,” she tells him solemnly.

“Yes you do.” He agrees smugly before he leans over to kiss her back. Finding it irresistible to do when she’s flashing those pretty eyes at him. “And every day I get a little bit more gooberish around you.”

"Oh my god." Even your groan is teasing, but you're cuddled into Javi's side as you watch your best friend and her soulmate. "You guys are absolutely disgusting. I'm so fucking happy for you."

“We are talking about getting married.” Moira tells you with a very proud smirk. “After the movie wraps up.”

"Oh my god..." You practically drop your fork with how fast you're sitting up straight and vibrating excitedly. "Oh my god! You guys! That's incredible!"

“We figured that your marriage right before the film will be the talk of the junket.” Jason chuckles. “And then our wedding timed after the premier will keep it in the news.” He’s teasing, his grin wide. “Purely a business move.” He jokes. “I have a percentage in this movie, after all.”

"Purely a business move," you huff, rolling your eyes at them heavily. "Nothing else. Got it. Not at all that you're completely nuts about each other and a perfect couple."

“No, that title has been take by you two.” Moira snorts. “Billie and Alex will be a close second if they were soulmates.” Jason rolls his eyes playfully. “Bronze metal in soulmates.” He moans. “Thought we were at least silver.”

"Nobody here get a bronze medal where love is involved," you insist. "But I'm going to insist we toast to all of us. Since we're all absolutely fucking adorable in love."

“I just wish Alex and Billie were here.” Moira says as she lifts her glass. “To tomorrow with friends.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Jason hums, lifting his glass and squeezing Moira’s thigh gently under the table.

The dinner is probably the loveliest way to relax, although everyone feels the other couple’s absence. Even though the relationship, all of them, are relatively new there’s a sense of connection between you all. Like these are friendships that will go well beyond junkets and premier tours.

******

Getting ready for bed later, Javi watches you as you brush your teeth in the mirror. “I would like to update my will.” He announces softly, knowing that it will cause a longer discussion but he thinks that today’s events have prompted the need. “I want more than just the Soulmate Protection Act to safeguard you in case of something happening to me.”

“I should probably make a will.” It’s not something you’ve ever had to think about before — but this is the first time in your life you’ve ever had assets or someone to provide for. You meet Javi’s eyes in the mirror and shrug slightly. It’s not as if there is a nonzero chance of a relative trying to take assets they’re not entitled to if something happened to one of you.

“Do you want to go through my lawyer?” He has one for his agent and contracts. As well as for the legalities of his immigration and the previous issues with his family. “Or I can have recommendations for a separate lawyer?”

“There’s no reason not to use the same person, is there?” He knows far more about lawyers than you do. For all you know, it’s a bad idea.

“No, I just don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you to use my lawyer or that they might not represent your best interests.” Javi’s old lawyers had definitely been looking out for Lucas at his expense and he had hated how he had felt when he learned that hard lesson.

“I would hope,” you lean into his side to steady both of you and rinse off your toothbrush to put away. “That any lawyer we are using for end of life planning will be working for both of us, and for the good of our kids.”

“I just don’t want you to feel uneasy in any way.” He murmurs, turning and pressing a kiss into your hair.

“I don’t.” You can promise him that without hesitation. “I feel provided for and cared for.”

He beams, chest puffing up slightly that he makes you feel so cared for. “That’s all I ever want for you.”

“You’re doing it perfectly, baby.” He looks so sweet when he’s all proud of himself like this and you giggle. “Call your lawyer tomorrow and we’ll set up a meeting for both of us to talk to him. How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect.” He agrees easily.

"I know neither of us want to think about something bad happening." Together, you and Javi shut off the bathroom lights and turn back into the bedroom. "But today is proof that we can't be too careful."

“Yeah.” He sighs again. “I think Alex has the day off tomorrow.” He had been told that they might shut down the production for a couple of days to regroup. The decision was going to be made in the morning. “Want to go check on him?”

"We could bring breakfast to the hospital in the morning?" The two of you climb into bed together and immediately wrap around each other like magnets, not wanting to be apart for even a second longer than necessary. "Coffee, pastries, and some flowers to brighten up the place?"

“That would be good.” Javi hums softly. “Even if he’s going home tomorrow, we can bring Billie and Alex some clothes.” He suggests. “They don’t have anything with them probably.”

"I have a key to Billie's place." You flash him a tiny grin. "And he has a drawer in her dresser. We can definitely bring them fresh clothes."

“Wait a minute…” he frowns slightly, “I thought they weren’t sleeping together.”

"They've been sleeping together." The amused smile on your face grows slightly. "Literally sleeping. Pajamas to bed and cuddling. It's the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard."

“That’s…..” Javi smiles. “Something that sounds like Billie.” He admits, having grown closer to your cousin since spending more time with her. “How does Alex feel about it?”

"Apparently he's been super sweet about it. About waiting for her to be ready." But, of course, the breaking point had come last night. Just as Billie told you. "I guess last night they were supposed to be staying at his place instead and she got...well, it didn't go as well as usual, and that's why he was distracted today. She left last night."

“Shit.” Now his face gets serious, his frown pulling his brows down. “Don’t tell me I need to beat him with a bat?”

"No, no, it's okay." The offer is sweet, though, and it earns him a kiss. "When she texted me from the hospital earlier she said they talked it out."

“Good.” He relaxes slightly and chuckles. “Because I think Alex would win.”

“If anyone was going to beat up Alex for upsetting Billie, it would be me.” But that is worth laughing at, too. Because it’s not like you could hold your own any better. “But no. They’re good.”

“You could take him.” Javi encourages, even though he knows it would be because Alex would never lay a hand on you. He’s too much of a gentleman, and doesn’t just put on an act for the cameras. “But it’s good you don’t have to. I wonder if they talked or if they decided to move on.”

"I don't think so. Billie would have said something if they decided to break up." In fact, she probably would have called. And you would have insisted she come over. It would have been a night of heartbroken cuddles to chick flicks with Chinese take out and that would have been perfect for the circumstances. "I think they'll be okay. I mean...I hope they'll be okay."

“I like them together.” He admits softly, his words whispered into your hair as he curls closer. “They remind me of us, actually.”

"Because they're stupid in love?" You hum teasingly, pressing kisses to his jaw, cheeks, and lips as you cuddle in bed.

“They just…” he frowns slightly, trying to find the right words to describe it. “Fit.” He decides. “They balance each other. She’s a little, well, a little hippy and he’s a little bit of - what do you call it? Pretty boy?”

"Pretty boy." You agree with a laugh. "She's a pink haired hippie and he's a pretty boy. That's definitely it."

“You know what I mean.” He huffs, pouting at you slightly. “They shouldn’t go together by every movie ever. But they just compliment each other.”

"The movies aren't always right, mi vida." He looks aghast that you would say that, but you grin, booping the end of his nose with your finger, and you giggle like it's punctuation. "Unless they're your movies."

“At least you think my movies are right.” He wrinkles his nose and bites playfully at the finger as you snatch it away. “I love you, amor.”

"I love you, too."

Every day, every night, every moment. Loving Javi has become part of you and you're so glad that nothing happened to him today.

------ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

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[xxgothchatonxx]

Here's my non-spoiler thoughts on Wicked Part One.

This was a grand, epic musical fantasy spectacle in all the right ways. As a standalone film, it was an absolute marvel to witness in cinemas and reminded me why I love musical films in the first place. And as an adaptation of one of my favourite musicals of all time... you fucking did it, Jon. You brought Wicked to the big-screen and you absolutely nailed it.

The cast was pitch-perfect across the board. I have so much to say about our beautiful leading ladies but I'll just say for now that Cynthia and Ariana took such good care of Elphaba and Galinda.

And the music! Oh sweet Oz, it was BEAUTIFUL! Trust me, the singing sounds so much better in the film than it does in the trailers. And the choreography was amazing- that ensemble cast was putting in 110%, it was fantastic.

I cried three times - at the start, at the Ozdust scene (EXCUSE YOU, MR. SCHWARTZ! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, SIR!), and just near the end. Which, well, I'm an emotional gal, but for a story like Wicked, I really wanted to have this reaction. And I got it.

I am so excited to see Part Two next year. Speaking of which, while I had a lot of worries about it being split into two films, I am so glad they decided to do that. Cos I can't imagine the whole story being crammed into one film. It works on stage, but this is film. The pacing is slower but it works. There's more room to breathe in the film. Again, not knocking the pace of the stage version but I don't think that would work here.

Look, I had a wonderful time, and I can't wait to see it again.

I give it 5 out of 5 hair toss-tosses.

[remindingpersephone]

Undercurrents

I just realized I haven't posted anything substantially my own (other than birthday wishes for the wonderful @ohhelloholly) in a while. Lots of reblogs or screenshots of other people's wisdom. And I love that and put it here because I want to remember the inspiration and the beauty. I mean, come one, there is nothing quite like Winged Victory. I stand by everything I post, even the complaints about weird ads.

But this tumblr is not what it used to be. I used to write almost daily. Nothing that was going to win a Pulitzer, and was mostly just for me. It was me talking to you all, making connections, giving and feeling love.

I know a lot of the lack of posts has to do with time. I just don' t have the time I did 14 years ago. But if I'm being honest, I spend too much time scrolling. Some days I'm better at stopping before I go on autopilot. Some days I ignore the ads on Instagram for things I don't need. Some days, I don't. A package of new makeup I've never tried is arriving in a few days. Nobody's perfect. But am I that busy I can't write a few sentences? I do try to visit my friends blogs and heart bomb them as much as possible.

I think it's less about time and more about the fact that I don't know what to say. There's no way I'm talking politics, that shit is exhausting. I decided long ago not to be the asshole-whisperer, trying to convince some dick why he's wrong. I used to post a lot about music, but I listen to music from the 80s and 90s, so there's nothing current or relevant there. Movies and TV shows: there have been a couple good movie trailers recently, but not much else.

Then I realized: as much as it's me, it's also February. My Mom's birthday was February 9th, the first one without her. And she passed away February 28th last year. The one year mark of that day is coming soon and it's a day I am currently dreading. It's the undercurrents of loss that are having an effect right now.

I'm not good at just sitting with things. I am a fixer. I am a person in motion, mentally if not always physically. Go, do, see, reflect, analyze, write, move on. Grief demands stillness and patience, two things I am really not good at.

Trying to recapture something: a habit, a routine, a feeling from 14 years ago is a fools errand. Life changes, we change. Can we hold on to the things that really mean something to us? Sure. But we cannot be who we once were. We have to move on, even without the people who once meant the most to us.

I know I'm conflating my tumblr blog's ancient past with the more recent death of my mother. They are not the same things by a long shot. But there is a common theme here. Things change and we have to change with them. To stay stuck, stagnant, caught between what we've lost and where we're meant to go, is no way to live.

This post did not end up where I started, but that's writing for you. It does it's own thing and I'm just the conduit.

Anyway, I hope you are all doing well - as well as we all can these days - and that you keep moving on in your own way, at your own pace. Keeping looking forward, because there is no going back.

[homestuckreplay]

Fluthlu. Nrub’yiiglith. Oglogoth. ELDRITCH JASPERS

(page 1149-1153; ‘[S]: Enter.’)

[note: I finally gave up on taking screenshots direct from flash. everything in this post comes from this youtube mirror]

I’ve watched this a few times now and it is still near impossible to react to. It is so much all at once, it’s even faster paced than a movie trailer but it has the emotional impact of a full movie because of everything that’s come before it. I want another week off just to watch this over and over and process it because it is hard to do justice to such a visual/auditory experience in words.

This flash incorporates most of page 137 (the Sburb installation), and that flash was also timed perfectly to fit the music – so it had to be the same song to make it work. But this page takes it further, because when miniature panels move onto the screen and displace each other, it’s also perfectly in sync. Is this what dance choreography is like?

The fire motif is present right from the loading screen, and Rose’s house is burning all the way through. I think this is why I don’t entirely click with the kids having elemental affiliations – fire/meteors are seen more generally, and affect everyone (even WV when his bunker takes flight!) so I see that as important overall, not just for one specific character.

Rose

Rose has the most going on here and is really the central character of the flash, so I’ll talk about her first and finish up with a little on each of the other three kids. The meteors over her Sburb title screen make the game look scarier this time around – but in a way it’s less scary, because at least people know what they’re doing, evidenced by how quickly and efficiently her entry almost went.

Dave throwing Rose’s bed into the fire is just like when Rose threw John’s tent into the void (p.616). There’s this very unsettling idea that the kids aren’t allowed to take a moment to rest, which will definitely come into conflict with the importance of dreams.

Jaspers being prototyped manages to be a big dramatic moment even though he has such a goofy, simple cat face, which is really impressive.

Zazzerpan breaks, just as we saw in the future on pages 715 and 757, and it’s hard to make sense of in the chaos of the flash. But as I understand it – Dave uses him to smash open the cruxtruder, then drops him outside, where his hand and orb fall off. Pillars of lightning and fire strike, and that or his wizard magic toss him back into the air. The orb hand flies, knocking Rose’s entry item off the stupidly and precariously placed alchemiter (at which point Dave is already reaching for the Eldritch Princess Doll for Tier 2 Prototyping – whose idea was this?) The bottle flies into the waterfall, and Rose knows it’ll be carried by the current. She gets a devious, calculating look and leaps after it. She catches it, and would fall to her death (?) if she wasn’t rescued by Eldritch Jaspers’ long stretchy knitted arms pulling her back to the house.

If Rose is scared here, she doesn’t show it. She has the true mad scientist ethos of being willing to do whatever it takes no matter how dangerous. And a zoologically dubious cat is the PERFECT pet/mad scientist lab assistant for her, just like OG Jaspers and Vodka Mutini might’ve been Mom’s lab assistants.

Rose’s pre-punched card being a bottle is another obvious link to Mom, who hasn’t been seen since ‘WV: Ascend’. Just like John, Rose’s card doesn’t only produce the item (bottle, apple), but also Something That Provides The Item (liquor cabinet, tree). The item is the same color and texture as the cruxite that produces it, and these special entry items work differently to all other alchemy.

I did some research on symbolism of bottles – apparently in the Bible they can symbolize preservation or fragility, and in other contexts they can symbolize the womb or confinement. There’s also the ‘message in a bottle’ idea that feels relevant since this one almost got thrown out to sea. The bottle needs to be broken for Rose to enter – or specifically, uncorked, as WV’s command station turns out to be the cork in a larger bottle buried in the ruins of Rose’s house. Uncorking (or smashing) a bottle, just like biting an apple, can’t be undone. Entering the Medium is a one way street, something is destroyed and permanently changed in the process.

Both entry items relate to food, as does the third one we know of – the ‘eggy lokin thign [sic]’ (p.240) – though as they’re all made of cruxite, they might not be edible. Rose’s bottle comes from a liquor cabinet, already a major feature of her house, and John’s apple comes from a tree, and he, too, has a tree in his yard – these things come to the Medium with them. I think as part of Sburb indexing a player’s house for the server player, transportation to the Medium, and provide options for alchemy, it also chooses an entry item tailored to the specific player, and the shared meaning of the items will become clearer when we have all four.

Rose waits until the last possible moment to smash the bottle, just like John with the apple. Unlike with John, there’s a moment where we can see Rose’s house flicker and vanish with the meteor BARELY above it, as though the whole thing was being selected with the cursor, plucked from its foundations and dragged somewhere else.

Dave

Character development moment: Dave drinks the apple juice from his closet and it isn’t piss. He also draws Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff with a mouse, and while he’s still trying to make it bad on purpose – setting the quality slider to 0 – it’s hard to draw anything recognizable with a mouse. I know that making intentionally ‘bad’ art is its own skill, but I have a lot of questions about what Dave’s ‘good’ visual art would look like, what medium he would use, and if he actually knows what he’s capable of in practice or if he’s too scared of that kind of vulnerability.

Dave gets attacked by crows mid-flash as they all burst through the gaffa taped window hole, and I think this has something to do with the beta discs. They were first stolen by a crow, which died for its efforts, and more and more crows have been circling since. And here on the same page that we see the discs appear somewhere else, the crows attack. A DISTACTION, perhaps, while something else scoops up the discs? If the OG crow turns out to want the discs for something more than just being rambunctious it will be the biggest plot twist in Homestuck.

Jade

Jade doesn’t do much! She lass scampers into the mystic ruins and takes the elevator, and I like that she suddenly looks scared when confronted with the lotus flower and countdown. She’s never seen this in a vision and doesn’t know what to do with it, and maybe for a moment – before she falls asleep – she regrets her decision to come in here. The flower opens to reveal the same white, glowing spirograph that Bec was guarding billions of years ago (p.1073), the one that the ruins possibly sprung up to protect. And when the timer ends, the spirograph drops Dave’s juice-stained beta discs, as stolen by a RAMBUNCTIOUS CROW on April 13, 2009 (p.353).

If Jade is a pawn in Skaia’s grand plan, then she does need to access the Medium – and apparently, she needs to access it while awake, not just in dreams. But the timer in Rose’s lab could have been counting for up to 10,000 years, while the mystic ruins timer could be up to 10 billion years, and the furthest we’ve seen something appearified or sendificated is a few hundred years. Setting up a time loop to the earliest days of Earth is a whole different level. Did Bec know exactly what he was guarding, or did he just know it was important? And is there anything – beyond the general importance of time loops to the story – that makes this specific pair of discs special, meaning Jade has to have these, not another set?

John

Nanna writes her note in John’s new Colonel Sassacre’s (first seen on p.759) with glowing blue text eye beams, and intentionally drops it into the void below. I originally thought the message was from pre-death Nanna as the text was black, but apparently it’s just aged. Which means that Nanna didn’t necessarily know anything about Sburb before she was prototyped, and everything could come from her NPC programming. But more importantly, this proves that the new Sassacre’s from John’s magic chest (p.8) and the aged Sassacre’s from Dad’s safe (p.542) are the same book in an extended timeloop, and from now on I’m assuming that whenever we see two of the same item, it’s the same item traveling through time. Bro’s shades + Dave’s original shades are a possibility.

We get a brief glimpse of a shimmering blue land with pockets of light below gray clouds – perhaps ‘the place where the constellations dance beneath the clouds’ where John’s ‘true work may begin’ (p.895). It looks both luminous and ominous, positioned as it is between those two planets. And seeing John’s house zoom out on pages 1150-1152 – an extension of the zoom out on page 250, where we first saw John’s house alone in the void – I’m reminded of the Wayward Vagabond’s planets on page 703. The one on the right has gray clouds too, although black instead of dark blue, so hard to say for definite.

John fights better in a suit!! I genuinely believe this – he designed an outfit for himself, and it was something that made him feel cool and mature and important, and that’s just as crucial to winning a fight as all his new weapons. And the gate is very magic portal the way it glows all around him and holds him suspended in mid air. That’s two out of three acts that have ended with John getting portaled to another location.

Final thoughts

I honestly could go on forever. While I’m obsessed with this flash, it feels more like a huge moment of change in the story than tying up throughlines of Act 3. The ‘Dear X…’ notes do get tied up here, but the other recurring ideas have been gifts/presents/the mail, the trolls and their impact on the kids’ lives, and Jade’s island/the mystic ruins as a focal point. We do see inside the mystic ruins, but in a way that only creates more mysteries, not providing closure or new information.

Instead, this flash massively advances the story, taking us through Rose’s entire process of entering the Medium and having her sprite prototyped twice, and giving Jade the Sburb discs – something that was a major quest for both John and Dave, but just happens here. Rose’s ‘Let’s make shit take place.’ (p.1148) meant way more than just starting the game – Act 4 is going to be very different now that these huge changes have happened, there are zero known barriers to Dave entering the game, and if John is going down to the sparkly blue planet it’s believable that all four of them could be in the Medium by EOA4. The possibilities feel wide open in an absolutely thrilling way.

Surely Act 4 will happen immediately, and not be interrupted by any---

[featureenvyproductions]

happy new year time for me to bother you with a TRAILER for my short animated film about a mars mission 🎉

surprise I have cobbled together shots I have done from my [traditional] animation I'm working on along with a TEST recording (which is why it sounds like it's being recorded in a toilet that is also a cathedral) of some of the music clips. I tried to edit it like a Real TM Trailer but the pacing is a little weird bc it's a silent film sorry

OK LOTTA BACKGROUND INFO UNDER THE CUT

So if you haven't seen my other posts, I sort of have this thing for doing projects I know damn well shouldn't be done by Just Me however if there's 3 things I enjoy it's exacerbating my wrist problems, traditional animation, and social isolation so last year to get my mind of the trash fire of an election season I bought a bunch of cels and paint and started working on this short film. It's gonna be maybe 10-15 minutes when done and, aside from a handful of tweaks*, it is all traditional 2d animation - hand drawn AND painted (which is why the frame rate makes even the recycled clips in 80s he-man cringe) .

Anyway if you didn't gather from the intertitles, this [a FICTIONAL STORY WHERE EVERYONE IS FICTIONAL PLEASE NO ONE SUE ME] is about the US and Russia collaborating on a mission to Mars where they're gonna send some folks up there to hang out and do research indefinitely until another mission happens. While the crew - comprised of an astronaut Adam and a cosmonaut Yuri - is in transit, war breaks out between the US and Russia back on earth, snapping the ever tightening rubberband of willing cooperation between the countries. Everything goes to hell, and in this case it also threatens to compromise the mission, meaning an uncertain future for the crew, who have to choose between loyalty to the death cult of blind nationalism, or loyalty to science and each other.

I am aiming to finish this in 2025...The story has been in the works for a while, but I only recently felt like "huh I kinda wanna animate this"

Im sorry the music is so....Like That lol. I wanted to get this done today before I go back to work and like I don't think anyone who follows me really minds if it's not perfect rn. See I only have a keyboard at the moment and I was trying to do an aux cable from it to my laptop to keep from recording the UNMANAGEABLE CLOMPCLOMPCLOMPITYCLOMPPP of the keys but it just made the sound toilety uhg oh well. Anyway I am writing some original stuff for the eventual whole film, but for this trailer I arranged some snippets of Tchaikovsky's sleeping beauty for piano (the score is in the public domain fyi...My arrangement is my own...). I've got some other bits of that in the works as well which will also show up in the full film.

Oh another thing is, most of the technical stuff should be fairly grounded in science (maybe aside from some Artistic License Engineering for story/ease of animation reasons, but....). So there's that. I don't think it makes much of a difference for the trailer but IM TELLING YOU BECAUSE I DID SIT THERE AND PAINSTAKINGLY RUN A FUCKING ORBIT PROPAGATION ALGORITHM TO BALLPARK WHERE THE SHIP SHOULD BE AT CERTAIN POINTS IN THE NARRATIVE AND YOU WILL KNOW I SUFFERED. FOR YOU, THE AUDIENCE.

*full disclosure by tweaks I mean stuff it's barely noticeable to you but impractical for me bc cels are REALLY expensive, so stuff like blinking and mouth movements I drew in photoshop because that's probably 100s of mouth-or-eye cels I can't really afford to waste, and you can only scratch paint off and reuse a cel so many times before it looks like crap. Some of the panning I also did by scanning the hand drawn cels and then changing the subject position in photoshop for each frame because I'm compositing frames essentially by sticking them face down in a stack on my scanner bed and haven't found a good way to do it yet. I've attempted to built a little track before but can't get it flat enough for the cover to make contact with the frames and smash them into the glass. If you have a solution for this, let me know.

anyway the target audience of this is people who liked Apollo 13 but wished it was worse quality and was more gay and anarchist so if you are vaguely that please enjoy and follow for updates on this costly and questionable venture

[mar64ds]

Friendship Test teaser

“Friendship Test is an RPG Maker game where you play as FriendProgram, a little robot (or Program) created to be anyone’s perfect friend, which is a good thing since the mysterious laboratory they find themself in is a lab that tests out your friendship! However, things aren’t going as great as you’d imagine. Despite the nice objective of the tests, it seems like whoever is in charge doesn’t understand friendship very well and is making a lot of the Programs miserable. Does any of us really understand friendship...? But FriendProgram has no time for those questions, they already have an objective on mind. Too bad no one really knows what’s on their mind, since FriendProgram is as nice as they are mysterious… Perhaps some of the Programs (and Experiments!) they’ll meet along the way we’ll get to know them better. Or perhaps they won’t. I guess they all have things to learn about friendship.”

Friendship Test is being created quite literally for me to test out RPG Maker, but because of that I ended up creating a story I really like so I’m making a whole game. It is extremely clear that this is someone’s first game they’ve ever made and that’s because it is! And as incredibly flaw that it is becoming, I’m having a lot of fun making it. All the badly drawn sprites, the awkward pacing, the extremely simple gameplay… it’s bad but made with care!

FT is still very early on development, it won’t be extremely long but this is not a short 1 hour game either. While it will take some time to show the final product, I’m excited to show what I’ve worked on so far! First 25 minutes of the game.

I might release a demo of the prologue and first chapter, but I’d like to have a bunch of progress of the rest of the game before doing so. And of course the final full game we’ll be free! I’m not asking for money for this thing.

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy this little test of a game!

-----

Music credit

I am not making any of the music of the game, but I have found some really awesome royalty free music to use for it and for this trailer! I know it would be better to have my own music for my own game, but I think it’s good to know your limits and work through it! I have really enjoyed a lot of these royalty free songs and they are saving my game, it really would be nothing without them.

Meatball Parade by Kevin MacLeod | https://incompetech.com/Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/Creative Commons CC BY 3.0

Cipher2 by Kevin MacLeod | https://incompetech.com/

Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Creative Commons CC BY 3.0

[kookygranger]

He Came From Hawkins

The day Steve Harrington's afterlife changed forever.

Ghost!Steve Harrington x Witch!Reader

Series Masterlist

750 words

The patter of rain against your bedroom window lulls you as you sit in front of an unorganised stack of books, the rug underneath you tickling at your thighs. You’d come upstairs looking for a particular book. One of your oral histories of the music scene in New York, but you can’t remember which, or even particularly why and now you think you might just take a mid-morning snooze.

Not an actual nap, just a moment or an hour to close your eyes and listen to the rain. You’re just about to get up from the floor, the soft cotton of your sheets calling you when you hear a noise downstairs.

It sounded like a voice, deep and confused.

Your front door is unlocked; there are no threats in your witch’s coven up in the mountains, but it wasn’t common for any of your sisters to come in uninvited. Everyone knew you valued your privacy. An introvert who wasn't always up for company.

You make your way downstairs, the wood creaking under your light steps as you descend slowly.

“Uh, hello?”

“Jesus fucking christ.” You stumble clutching at your heart that’s rapidly increased in pace. A young man is standing in your living room. “Wh–who are you?”

“Steve Harrington.” The boy reaches his hand out as if offering to shake yours before faltering and placing it back in his pocket. “I think I’m in the wrong place.”

“No shit.” You take him in, this boy who allegedly broke into a witch’s house in the middle of a well-established, secret coven. Your eyes flick from the moles on his exposed neck, the perfect quaff of his thick hair and widened hazel eyes, finally noticing the slight translucency to his form as he stands before you. “Oh, you’re a–“

“Ghost? Yeah.” He holds up a hand, face squinting as if to say what are you gonna do about it? “I was supposed to be like moving on to whatever comes next I guess.” He scratches his jaw, “I was just in this trailer back in Hawkins, saying goodbye. This witch, a good witch, was helping me say goodbye–and now I’m here.” He looks around your house. “This isn’t it is it? Like, the afterlife?” His eyes fall back on you, giving you a once over before smirking, “Not that I’m complaining, it’s just not what I expected.”

“No, you’re still in the land of the living…kind of.”

He nods, taking you in again, “You don’t look that shocked.”

Your shoulder shifts in a slight shrug, face showing little emotion, “I’m a witch too.”

“Oh, cool.” He smiles wide, a sureness in his features that prickles at your skin. “Do you know why I’m here?”

“No,” you shake your head, and he bites his lip. “I don’t see what business you could have here I’ve been borrowing this land for eight hundred years.”

“Right, well I just died last week so…where are we?” He looks around again, trying to get a glimpse of any recognisable landmarks outside of your window.

“Uh, Catskills.”

“Never been.” He frowns.

“Right.”

The ghost of Steve Harrington didn’t leave that morning, or the next. He wasn’t sure where he was supposed to go so, he stayed.

It was weird, even for a witch familiar with the unexplainable nature of the world. You didn’t really know how to help him, your experience of communing with spirits lacking. Steve said he didn’t mind. Told you with that disarming smile of his that he’d just hang out until he figured out what to do.

So, he did. He hung out.

He hung out while you pottered about your house, cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, reading by the window with the afternoon light. He hung out as you cooked dinner and settled in front of your staticky TV in the evenings. He hung out as you watered your garden, looking on from the window as you nervously smiled at fellow coven members passing by, his gaze burning the back of your neck.

The ghost of Steve Harrington wasn’t leaving. In fact, he seemed pretty settled, growing in confidence every day with the amount he stared at you, unabashedly and with a smirk that made your body tense.

“Is there a problem?” You didn’t have to look up from the book you were reading to know he was doing it again.

“No. Just admiring the view.”

You shake your head, hiding your fluster with a look of agitation, “Any closer to figuring out your next move?”

“Nope.”

You bite your lip at the evident smile in his voice. “Great.”

[quinnfebrey]

WICKED PT. 1 REVIEW

(spoiler free*)

*spoiler free is used generously, there are no major or intentional spoilers but i make no promises for smaller things.

casting:

going into it thought the casting would be the weakest point, but i was pleasantly surprised. that said, i think jon chu’s reasoning for not casting unknowns was total bs and he just wanted a star-studded cast. i also wish they were younger. it was kind of giving movie ben platt terrorizing the teenagers of dear evan hansen. it works for the stage, but my belief was not suspended on the big screen. so while i don’t necessarily agree with how we got here, objectively they were great.

production:

honestly it looked amazing, i wish some parts were graded with a little more contrast, but the colors weren’t muted at all and i thought the cinematography was the perfect level of dramatic and interesting. the highlight was the emerald city. nothing else really stuck out to me in particular but the first 30 seconds or so of one short day looked AMAZING.

the singing:

sounded phenomenal, and this is coming from someone who heard the trailers and panicked. i don’t know what they did in post to make them sound so awful and processed in the trailers, but the movie itself sounded great.

the acting:

i wanted… more. jonathan has such an overly expressive face that worked so well, but cynthia was just the smirk emoji for 2.5 hours and ariana looked like this 🙂 the entire time. they had their moments, of course, but with all the added dialogue (and no song to carry the emotion) i wanted more of a performance.

why the fuck was it 2.5 hours?

i don’t know man. i understood (and enjoyed) some of the additions, but there were an equal number that didn’t add anything, and there were so many scenes where i was like whyyyy is this taking so long. it felt like they were trying to (unsuccessfully) justify the runtime instead of it being a natural result.

2-part split:

this is by far my biggest criticism of the movie. the ending was done BEAUTIFULLY, but the year gap will kill the momentum. i 100% believe that splitting it into two parts will take away from the viewing experience. i actually didn’t have a problem with the splitting when it was first announced, but now that i’ve seen part 1 it feels like a forced cash grab.

rewatchability:

even though i actually really liked it, i don’t think i’d ever electively put it on instead of a stage recording.

SONG BREAKDOWNS:

no one mourns the wicked

a fantastic opening. i went into the movie very skeptical, but it managed to win me over on all accounts. it had the richness and fullness you’d expect + beautiful visuals and ariana proves her doubters (me) wrong immediately.

dear old shiz

the song is nearly identical to the musical, but the changed staging was odd (but also insignificant in a way that made it even more odd).

the wizard and i

i blame the directing for why this song fell flat for me. they toned down the physical animation of elphaba but didn’t add anything else so it was sort of just her walking around and singing at us. also didn’t super love cynthia’s take on it until the last verse, which was phenomenal, probably because the directing didn’t let her do anything with it.

what is this feeling?

SOOOO GOOD!! it sounded amazing, looked amazing, the ensemble was amazing. THIS is what a movie musical is supposed to do: take what was great on stage and expand in a way that is only possible on film. it was fun and inviting and probably one of the strongest numbers in the entire movie.

something bad

i liked what they did with this in terms of the pacing, and i also like that it helped bolster the animal side plot instead of it getting swept into the songs on either side. the singing was unmemorable but the scene was very effective.

dancing through life

i have SUCH mixed feelings on this. i absolutely loved it up until the break when glinda gives elphaba the hat. jonathan sounded amazing, the dancing and cinematography was perfect, but the pacing and flow was totally ruined after what should’ve been a brief interlude for plot. the moment between elphaba and glinda is very strong and still made me cry, but the middle section was just so off-putting.

popular

sooooo good. ariana sounded amazing, and the directing was perfectly energetic. it felt like a music video in the best way. the colors, cinematography, and storytelling was great. they did manage to strip all of the homoeroticism out of it, and ariana’s yuh made a few valiant attempts to escape, but neither detracted from the final product.

i’m not that girl

same issue as wizard and i, i didn’t want just another three minutes of elphaba standing around singing to the camera. the last verse was the best because there was actually something happening visually, which i think also made cynthia sound better. the monologue style number works on stage for a variety of reasons, but felt like a waste of screen time in the movie.

one short day

first 30-60 seconds are AMAZING. took the energy of the stage and shot it to the moon. it actually made me tear up and i have no complaints. the added interlude was a little long, but i’m a sucker for nostalgia bait so i’ll allow it.

a sentimental man

ummm i hated it lol. it felt SO out of place due to some poor (in my opinion) script additions, and the singing wasn’t anything special. the jeff goldblum cameo made them give the wizard way too much emphasis at that point and it completely disrupted the flow of the movie

defying gravity

except for (another) unnecessarily long interlude, this was everything i was waiting for and more. ariana and cynthia sounded amazing together and cynthia sounded PHENOMENAL. ariana delivered the “well, where are your wings?” line perfectly, which is usually for me a weak point with a lot of glindas; and the “i hope you’re happy now that you’re choosing this” verse was perfection both visually and vocally. overall, it did what it was supposed to do: it wrapped up the first act beautifully and showcased cynthia’s voice.

[satoshi-mochida]

Cozy simulation game Urban Jungle for PC launches March 21 - Gematsu

Cozy simulation game Urban Jungle will launch for PC via Steam on March 21, publisher Assemble Entertainment and developer Kylyk Games announced.

Here is an overview of the game, via its Steam page:

About

Urban Jungle is a charming and relaxing simulation game that invites you to transform small, ordinary apartments into lush, green havens by placing delightful plants with savvy. But no worries, you won’t have to deal with watering or pest control—the plants just need a good spot, and that’s enough to create the comfiest and coziest home of them all. Oh, and don’t forget to pet your cat!

Key Features

Decorate with Plants �� The core gameplay revolves around arranging a diverse selection of plants in your apartment. Each plant can be placed in different spots, challenging you to find the optimal placement to enhance the room’s coziness and aesthetics.

Puzzle Elements – While the game is primarily about decoration, it includes puzzle-like aspects. You’ll need to think strategically about where to place each plant to maximize the comfort and visual appeal of your home, ultimately unlocking new plants.

Relaxing Atmosphere – Urban Jungle is designed to be a stress-free experience. There are no time limits or high-pressure scenarios. You can move plants around freely and adjust your setup at your own pace.

Environmental Storytelling – The game’s narrative is subtly woven into the environment. As you progress, you’ll uncover pieces of a heartwarming story that unfolds across the different stages of the protagonist’s life.

Interactive Elements – In addition to plants, you can interact with other items like lamps and humidifiers to alter the ambiance of your apartment, further enhancing the cozy feeling.

Why You’ll Love Urban Jungle

Urban Jungle is perfect for players seeking a wholesome and meditative gaming experience. The simple yet engaging gameplay, combined with the delightful visuals and calming music, creates an oasis of tranquility. Whether you’re an avid gardener in real life or someone who simply loves cozy spaces, Urban Jungle offers a beautiful blend of creativity, relaxation, and gentle storytelling.

Watch a new trailer below.

Release Date Trailer

[davidbeardmusic]

Guitar version of Schubert's ‘Impromptu Op. 90 No. 2’, the second (‘Allegro’) of his first set of Impromptus from 1827.

For media use license here: https://audiojungle.net/item/schubert-impromptu-guitar/55731079

Perfect for fast-paced images, silent film, black and white films, underscore for short films, web videos, impressive photo slideshows, Victorian age, Documentaries of the past and Nostalgia etc. The uplifting and inspirational mood of the classical guitar; adding light and positivity, allows it to be used in Spanish or Flamenco projects. Applicable for creatives of film, television, theatre, dance, games, documentaries, film trailer cues, advertising and podcast.

More music examples here: https://audiojungle.net/user/davidbeardmusicproduction and https://www.pond5.com/artist/davidbeardmusic

[its-dean]

Interstella: How am I supposed to feel?

Just this past week, there was a special one-day screening in theaters of a "remastered" version of Leiji Matsumoto's Interstella 5555. On paper this is a really exciting thing to have happen, especially for me. This is one of my favorite films/anime/albums of all time, and I could honestly gush about it for as long as it would take for you to watch the whole thing start to finish :,)

But there's something more to all of this that makes the whole situation feel a bit complicated in my eyes. To summarize: this re-release, rather than being a remaster by traditional means, is one that's forced forward by the power of generative AI (you can notice it especially on Stella in the screenshot above). Just from watching the trailer on Daft Punk's Youtube Channel, things felt unnaturally crisp and, in a way, kind of "alien" to the original version I was so used to. I know that's a pretty personal takeaway for me to present you with, but it did alarm me with just how many keyframes I saw that looked very "unnaturally altered." Don't get me wrong, the picture quality is better than I've ever seen, a real shock to the system, but knowing the history behind this film and its production so well I just can't help but think about how this level of quality was something I was literally never meant to see.

This post is gonna be very different from what I usually like to share online, but since the announcement was made and the actual event has since happened, the thoughts have just been stirring in my mind nonstop. I wanted to put my thoughts out there for once, mostly because of how much this film inspires me.

The film itself is a visual masterpiece that I can't recommend enough. Headed by Leiji Matsumoto, an absolute visionary in the world of classic anime and one of my favorite artists in terms of his pure drawing style. I love a lot of his work, even as far back as Captain Harlock and the original Battleship Yamato, both from the '70s (though I'll always say that Interstella is my favorite project he was ever attached to). Considering he just passed away a little over a year ago, I'm a bit torn up over whether or not this AI driven re-release was really the best way to honor all of his hard work...

And then, if we're gonna talk about what you'll be listening to, you've got Daft Punk with Discovery, which is literally my favorite LP of all time(though I'd say in large part it's thanks to this film). I'll be honest, this post is about the visual film rather than the music, so I'm not going to be talking so much about them here. All of their songs are still there and in perfect condition, and considering these two broke up over 3 years ago I think it's an overall amazing feeling to see their music still being promoted like this (especially when it's Discovery).

It's really exciting for me to see Interstella getting a visual "update" such as this. The entire film is crafted to be a very "flow-based" experience unlike what you'd see in traditional anime/cinema. There's not a single word of spoken dialogue, and things are kept at a very brisk pace with high frame rates and detailed compositions. Not to mention the fact that the entire film is a well thought-out commentary on the music industry's hidden faults: exploitation of talent and destruction of creativity. It's a message that's unfortunately proved itself to be a timeless one, something I think we all need to refresh ourselves on from time to time. Reasons like these are why I'm really glad that this re-release even happened at all, because I think it's a wonderful thing to celebrate this type of creative and visual storytelling.

The debate I've been having with myself, though, comes from what I had mentioned before: generative AI. If you know the full story, they it might make more sense why the people who restored this thing chose to do it this way (well, besides the obvious $$$). Film restoration is a long and laborious process, but it becomes impossible to undertake unless you have the actual original film reel to work with. Toei Animation, the studio who produced the film, had scrapped the old master for the project, so there was literally no physical strip to be cleaned and re-scanned for this modern re-release. The best these new producers could do was to find a recording of the film, use it themselves, and pump that through an generative AI program. This type of approach doesn't make me feel like it was something they wanted to do, but rather saw this new technology as a means to bring easy profits, definitely a very artificial and soulless approach to promote and sell something that honestly didn't need to be remastered in the first place, but I'll talk about that later.

I should make it clear after saying all that, my opinions are very much rooted in all of these statements I'm making. I think it would be unfair for me to claim that I know all the sides of this story, but there are just those one or two key decisions made here that makes it hard for me to keep quiet. Daft Punk doesn't deserve any slack for doing something like this, they've been broken up for years and have already won me over time and time again through their music. And again, I think it's a wonderful revelation to be able to see this film shine again in theaters (even if it was only for one day). If any of you have pieces to this puzzle that might contribute to this rhetoric I'm winding here, definitely let me know by leaving a comment or messaging me. I'd love to learn more!

Because I wanna stay focused on the film itself, I'd actually like to transition to some of the more positive things I took away from all of this. I'll start with this: one thing I'm VERY glad to have noticed is that the remaster doesn't seem to be using AI to "insert frames." A common thing to see with a lot of these generative projects is a desire to have everything running at an unnatural 60 frames per second. The problem with this is that it forces these AI programs to try and fill in the blanks on their own, producing frames that were never actually made in the original animation sequence. This always end up resulting in movement that I think feels far too fluid to be compelling.

Unlike a lot of anime, and animation in general, Interstella already has quite a surprising amount of motion. I think it was likely done to try and tell as much story as possible, but there are so many sequences where I'm left surprised at just how many frames are packed into a single second of animation, lots of really quick camera panning too (High Life is a great example of this imo).

I think this whole idea of inserting frames to make things run at 60 fps is a very naive outlook on what animation is meant to offer. Letting your mind fill in the blanks is what animation is all about, and that's why elements such as breaking movement into ones and twos are some of the most powerful tools in an animator's arsenal. (This is a personal opinion I'd like to tack on, but I also think that seeing the "grainy-ness" which comes with older productions like this can make for a much more whimsical experience. It adds this dreamy, ethereal personality to certain key moments that's difficult to put into words, and it makes the overall watching experience feel much more memorable if you ask me). It makes me very happy to see that restraint from whatever team was in charge of putting this together, because Interstella is still a masterpiece in animation, even over 20 years later.

I really want to recommend that you watch this thing for yourself if you get the chance. Just get cozy, grab a good pair of headphones, turn the lights off, and take the time to appreciate this art in it's original form. The entire film is on Youtube and can be found very easily under a number of playlists, mainly because each single in Daft Punk's Discovery corresponds to a different part of the film. It still feels wild that there was this much I wanted to say about an event that's already come and gone, but I think I decided to take this leap to put some important food for thought out there, as well as to help you learn a little bit about myself. Animation has always called to me, and I've never found myself drawn to these modern-day trends that try to focus on building new spectacle from old works. Part of the fun with animation in watching it is thinking about the artists behind the screen, thinking about everything they were able to paint and produce using all of their effort. Whether it be art in a visual sense or art as presented through Daft Punk's unique music, I hope you might be willing to give this film a watch if you haven't already. (And if you have, then why not go for another ride!)

(When I rewatched this part I could only think that when Daft Punk made a cameo their reactions are really just a self-fulfilling prophecy rip)

[libratxt]

hiii! i come to you as an absent mutual to get your top of 2024 media! movies, shows, books, you name it! biggest flops/what surprised you? need to know it all! also just saw your top 9 movies of the year (the substance, of course) if you want to expand on those or what didn't make the top 9?

yay!! i sooo look forward to doing this recap every year so thanks for the ask <3 I hope 2024 was a good year for you and that 2025 is even better!

as usual this will probably be so wordy lol:

movies

i actually didn't watch many movies this year but the few i did, i really enjoyed!

the substance: i love body horror and i was delighted that the substance was so unapologetically gross and visceral. i think the concept is really great, the look of the movie really works for me, and the acting is fantastic! it's the kind of movie you can tell was really fun to make. it does drag a little bit in the third act for me but when it totally goes off the rail at the end, i can't be mad at it.

anora: i didn't realize this was a sean baker movie when i first saw the trailer so i genuinely thought this was going to be a very different movie. i was expecting a drama or thriller and was completely blown away by how funny and human it was. really incredible screwball comedy that had me and the whole audience really, really laughing. and like i said, it just ended up being really beautifully human. i think it's pretty perfect all the way through.

challengers: exhilarating!!! the soundtrack is so fantastic. the pacing and energy of it really sucks you in. i think tashi is such a great and fascinating character. i love all the little ways all three of the characters are kind of messed up. and i won't lie, i'd love to find myself in a challengers type situation lmao.

twisters: kind of an honorable mention. i didn't really have any expectations going in. i saw it in 4dx and genuinely had the time of my life. the kind of movie that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside and excited to go to the movies. this is what a blockbuster should be in my opinion!

music

i really made an effort to listen to a lot of music this year!

brat (charli xcx): i mean duh! i actually really love the remix album too, maybe even a little more than the original. just utterly fun and in some ways really vulnerable. there are so many great tracks, it's hard to pick a favorite but the remix of i think about it all the time with bon iver is a big highlight for me. and i got to see her live! she's got such insane stage presence.

romance (fontaines d.c.): sooo good. just a really solid and well-rounded album. excellent lyrics, excellent music, excellent performance. starburster was my most listened-to song of the year and i'm still not sick of it. they're the kind of band that makes me excited to hear what they'll do next.

tangk (idles): an idles album is an idles album. you kind of always know what you're gonna get with them and i personally love it. great post-punk album. really fun to listen to!!

alligator bites never heal (doechii): what's not to love about doechii? this album is so full of energy and fun. her tiny desk performance is insane. she's so talented and i love that she's a fellow floridian.

the new sound (geordie greep): i got around to this album pretty much in the last couple weeks of the year but i really, really love it. it's kind of insane and weird but in a really fantastic way. i love that geordie does really interesting storytelling through his lyrics--he presents these weird off-putting characters in ways that somehow manage to endear you to them. and the music is so so so good. i love the latin jazz influence on this record.

shows

i feel like there weren't many shows i was excited to check out this year. i'm desperately waiting for the new season of severance!

six feet under: it's not a perfect show but it's a really great one. interesting and complicated characters. sometimes really funny, sometimes really sad. some bits have aged a bit poorly but it's always interesting to see these early hbo shows that laid the groundwork for the kind of tv we associate with hbo now. in some ways i can see how it paved the way for something like succession.

halt and catch fire: omg i feel like this show is so underrated! all of the characters are great and complex. it's a really great period piece that i think anyone who loved mad men would enjoy. the acting and set design are really great. it has a great score. it made me cry!!!

taskmaster: not much to say here lol. sometimes you just want to watch people do pointless tasks in the silliest way possible.

video games

mouthwashing: again, i love body horror. i played a game by this studio forever ago called "how fish is made" and despite not knowing that the two were related, instantly could tell the vibes were related. disturbing, creepy, strong storytelling. the fandom is kind of stinky though, i hate the way people woobify the horrible men in it.

balatro: a fun, addicting rogue-like card game. i haven't been able to stop playing! i want to beat it so bad.

kingdom hearts: replaying the series with my brother. it's so nostalgic and kind of ridiculous and stupid but i love it so so much.

flops

here's a random assortment of things that flopped!!!!

longlegs: i was really looking forward to his. i was so so excited. it didn't work for me 😔 i found it totally anticlimactic and rushed

my fellowship: as some will remember, last year i was very very excited about this. but it flopped! i have a lot of angry and sad feelings. i drained myself physically, emotionally, mentally and they didn't even offer me a job!!! so i probably dodged a bullet.

dragon age veilguard: admittedly, i am not a massive dragon age fan. i sometimes have a hard time with open world games which was my problem with inquisition. but the writing in veilguard is so... bad. i've tried giving it so many shots but it never fails to make me cringe!!! honestly just made me want to play baldur's gate.

if you made it this far, thank uuu 💖