#The impulse control have shit sides for sure but i also feel like i... Would have done more things by now if i had it

[mrfoox]

Kinda wish I had more adhd traits in me but alas... I love people with adhd they are my fave...

[dontbesoweirdkira]

If you're taking requests, would you be so kind as to write Yandere mk11 Kuai Liang and Hanzo? Seperately or together, whichever you prefer.

They'd be desperate af I KNOW IT IN MY HEART. Creepy and thirsty for attention n shit.

A/N: yuppoop! I hope you enjoy. I love them both in mk11. Their duo is so cuteeeeee!! I hope you enjoy because I was fully yapping in this. Is it obvious I love hanzo more?

Warnings: Yandere themes and behaviors

Requests: open

Masterlist

We all know what hanzo has been through and how hard he’s been working towards redemption. He’s forgiven enemies and his troubled ways are all a thing of the past now.

Today he’s working towards a new and better life for himself, one without any vengeance or unnecessary violence.

That was all until he met you..

From the moment he laid eyes on you, you set off a fire in him that he thought he burned out years ago.

Your elegance/poise, your sharp witted nature, and your sense of courage are things that caught his attention.

Hanzo had convinced himself that he could never love anyone again, not in the way he loved his wife at least. She was perfect in every single way, the only one of her kind to ever grace this earth.

No one could ever replace or come close to her…except maybe you.

Hanzo can’t help but to be utterly consumed by you and stalk your every move. Being in your general vicinity and studying your interactions pleased him..

You’re so much like her and there's a fire that burns so hard for you, one that is steadily burning out of control.

Old habits and mindsets are starting to creep back into him. While Hanzo is falling in love, a trigger is being set off.

He can’t control his anger and his actions as much anymore. He reacts so impulsively when it comes to you. He’s demanding and desperately overwhelming towards you.

He needs to protect you as he is convinced something bad is surely going to happen to you anytime now. This time though, the outcome will be different if you stay by his side 24/7. As it is much to your dismay to have him constantly be over you, eventually you’ll be worn down. You’ll give into his lies about this purely being a learning opportunity. A chance for you to understand more about his clan and to train under him…nothing more of course.

What a horrible decision on his part.

While Hanzo was happy having you close to him so that he could eventually begin to implement his desires on you, he didn’t realize that his friend, Kuai Liang, would also be taking such a liking for you.

You’re a perfect vessel to test the new cryo system on. You’re very skilled, well disciplined, and lacking no intelligence either…Not to mention what fine beauty you possess…you’ll be everything frost isn’t and so much more.

Quickly Sub-Zero’s investment in you grew. He learned from what went wrong before and will make sure you’ll become fully loyal to him and the Lin kuei. certainly you’ll be his equal and a perfect weapon to compliment him in battle.

Not to mention how even though he was a cold and lonely man, he longed for something to fill a void in him. You're just that. For the first time in his life, he truly felt warmth and just like with Hanzo, you consumed every part of his being.

Kuai Liang is cunning and his obsession is well kept to himself. He’s playing the good cop in this situation so well. Every time Hasashi becomes too strict and overbearing, Kuai swiftly swoops in and makes you feel better.

He pretends to not have interest in you beyond a mentor-like friendship but he’s so damn needy. Your admiration sends him over the edge.

Carefully he sends sweet smiles, gentle touches, gifted gestures and words of encouragement your way just to get some kind of praise from you. Subtly though, so as to not alert Hanzo of any of this. You may not notice it, but Kuai can see just how passionate Hanzo is for you.

Part of him kind of feels bad for going behind his friend like this but he just can’t give up his plans for you. He knows that if Hanzo ever finds out any of this that you’ll be immediately ripped away from him and he can’t have that. He needs you.

The rush he gets from when he pulls you off to the side and your pretty eyes are beaming up at him. ✨Don’t get me started on the superiority complex that he has. He loves to flex off his power and strength to you whenever he can get a chance to. This man lives to upstage Hanzo in small ways to prove that he’d be the better man for you.

Hanzo does this as well but with every other man. The members of his clan must know that they will never outdo him, especially not in front of you~

Like the anon said, yes these mfs are creepy and thirsty for literally anything from you.

Hanzo loovvesss snooping through your things to keep tabs on you and I like to think he also will occasionally take things or leave tokens for you….which is actually how he found out about Kuai’s feelings for you.

Of course, as careful as Sub-Zero has been, there was always room for error. Kuai Liang had messed up by leaving a Lin Kuei patch in your bag with a written note that explained it being a gift from him. That he and the clan would welcome you with open arms whenever you were ready to make the move.

Suddenly, everything clicked for Hanzo. From the “innocent” smiles and the “coincidences” when both you and Kuai Liang would go missing every time he’d become preoccupied…how could he be so damn foolish?!

He trusted Kuai as a friend, someone that he didn’t worry would take you away from him. While once enemies, he thought Sub-Zero proved his alliance with him. But he oh was he wrong …Kuai will beg for mercy for undermining him like this.

A jealousy fueled rage boiled through scorpions blood as he tore through your things. He tried to find more gifts like this from him so he could destroy them all. Scorpion wanted him dead for this..and you???

He’s just as upset with you. Yeah, you weren’t officially together but have you no loyalty? The Shyrai Ryu was the first to show you kindness and you repay him like this? You want to side with them? Fine. But there won’t be a Lin Kuei by the time he’s finished with them and you’d have no choice but to run back to him.

“Hasashi?” Your voice broke his emotional rampage and he slowly turned around to face you. He breathed deeply and heavy and his balled fists were flaming.

You were there standing at your doorway with Kuai Liang. It was obvious that you had just finished training together as your clothes were stiff with ice shards and your nose was a bright, pinched pink. Hatashi’s eyes narrowed at the sight of y’all and his lip lifted with disgust

Noticing the state of Hanzo, Kuai Liang quickly got in front of you, guarding your body.

“Surrender her, Liang. Or I will not shy away from burning you alive.”

“You aren’t worthy enough to have her. Y/N will thrive and be far happier with The Lin Kuei….there I will train her to become my equal.”

“ Why would you want Y/N to be out fighting your wars for you? A true man like me would keep her in the safety of my home while I went out to defend her.”

“Oh yeah? Well how did that work out the first time, Scorpion?”

(😩damn)

Something deep down in you told you to run, the situation wasn’t going to de-escalate anytime soon. Their feud didn’t just start here, this goes back long before you, you were just the match that set them off again. No peace would come your way from choosing a side.

You had no idea where you’d go but you got as far as you possibly could before resting.

‘They probably killed themselves already, right?’

Wrong…little did you know that no one actually won that day. While one was severely more injured than the other, nothing was going to stop either party from getting their hands on you.

They both yearned for you and grieved the plans that they had made for you.

Whoever finds you first will have the honor to be the one to mold and brainwash you into being their perfect little companion. Oh and don’t think you’ll have any kind of say in this because they don’t care. Death itself will have to forcibly hold them down before they will ever let you leave them again.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Not sure if this is where you want your asks to be sent or not, I'm new to your blog so sorry if this is the wrong place

There is another instruction for Wally that I haven't seen you talk about and I want to know your thoughts! Back in november, before the responses, the secret URLs (such as woxyve) had the word "delete" added to the end (ex: woxyvedelete) implying that they wanted Wally to delete the page. After this most recent update it changed again and now says nodelete meaning that Wally refused to do that task. Thoughts?

where else would asks be sent if not the Askbox! inbox! both!

i actually wasn't aware of this until a few days ago, when i saw a post pointing it out - i had never gone directly back to those pages. which serves me right! i'm gonna be double checking Everything from now on lmao

but my fucking GOD is it interesting. thus far Wally has been... fairly cooperative. he's had a moment here and there, such as closing the guest book and losing his patience a lil, but he does his best with the rest! especially with requests! so for him to straight up go "lmao nah" when asked to delete something...

characterization-wise, i think it's very telling. as of now, Wally has been commonly portrayed as a bit of a doormat - getting talked over, sitting off to the side, being a bit of a background character - in in-Home media. less so in his whrp/qa/You interactions, but he's still widely agreeable & willing. but him refusing to delete the urls gives major points to him Having A Spine. he's holding his ground. he knows what he's doing. he's not going to let the whrp shut him up. there's a Thought Process / Plan / Purpose being shown here, or at least hinted at. there's a sense of.... Control. of "this is the way we're doing things, this is what i'm saying and you're going to sit down and listen" it's just... such a shift from the Wally we see in his interactions with the neighbors. which again, lends credence to there being a time discrepancy, with whrp Wally being older and more "experienced" while past Wally is still figuring his shit [being alive] out <3

story-wise it adds some Delightful friction. like obviously there's already tension, what with the staff only page, "Let Me In", the mysterious black stuff, the guest book closing, and the whrp/qa being disturbed by it all. but Wally outright refusing to delete things is a Different sort of conflict. it's more... direct. which makes sense! his interactions with the whrp/qa are becoming more personal, too. but it lends to the feeling of a push-pull. as the whrp/qa investigates Wally and starts treating him like the person he is instead of a long-lost character, they're probably gonna clash (a lot) despite the apparent impulse to pursue Welcome Home. currently, Wally doesn't seem big on compromising. if he doesn't know what to do, it looks like he simply Won't or he'll do his own thing and be like "shrug". if he doesn't want to do something, it also looks like he simply Will Not.

of course, there's the strong possibility that the whrp Were Not Serious about it. the 'delete' command might have them testing the waters, poking the bear, etc. but then were they testing to see if Wally is there, or were they testing his level of compliance? both? a secret third option?

and if they Were serious about it... why? what is it about the marked urls that made the whrp go "get that outta here"? and why couldn't they delete it themselves? i mean, obviously they can't delete anything Wally adds, otherwise the extra stuff he's added probably wouldn't be there (unless the impulse / curiosity driving them is too strong to delete anything added). but there's still a why about it. what changed so fundamentally in the site's code - or laws of physics/reality - that made it impossible to alter Wally's additions?

it's just. i feel that there are a lot of implications in such a small interaction. it shows more than one would expect.

[sniigura-archive]

Jumping for joy at your approval rn ANYWAYSSS HERE IT IS (WARNING, IT'S LONG AS FUCK)

- doesn't get enough sleep for the life of him

- wingspan is approx. 19 ft

- his wings are pretty big and heavy compared to other angels, which is why he doesn't hold them up behind himself and instead just tucks them to his sides (he is literally a bird.)

- calls himself the king of rock

- thinks it's hilarious to use "go to hell" as an insult

- always sneezes twice when there's bright light, can't control it

- impulsive and often makes stupid ass decisions that he later regrets

- despite this, he's smarter than people take him for

- insists on having spikes on every single one of his outfits, even when Sera thinks it's unprofessional

- if he had Twitter he'd get canceled so fast for saying dumb shit 💀💀

- insecure about his jawline, thinks his face doesn't look slim enough

- HEAVILY female leaning bisexual

- the horns on his mask are unscrewable

- always making jokes about his dick

- has offensive humor + annoyance humor (thinks it's funny to annoy people)

- he might act all cocky and above everyone but he's actually really, really lonely

- actually kinda good at drawing, he doodles on his paperwork frequently

- I'm not sure if drinking is really a thing in heaven or not but if it is he definitely drinks canned beer

- has a crippling case

of the "fuck authority"

mindset that gets him

into trouble with the higher-ups all the time

- his least favorite feeling ever is being embarrassed. Hates it.

- prefers rock and metal over heavy metal

- not really an Adam headcanon but angel blood tastes sweet like sugar

- loves alt girls (of any subculture)

- hates meatloaf

- skilled in a lot of different hobbies, I mean.. he's literally been chilling since beginning of mankind, he's had all the time in the world to do stuff

- when punk culture became a thing he fell in love with it

-biggest yapper ever. Once you get him talking he won't shut up

- has a genuine emotional attachment to his guitar and named it Susan

- he kisses Susan good night

- loves karaoke

- hates it when people say "b-b-but I can't dance 🥺🥺🥺". Thinks it's a total mood killer

- cringey pickup lines

- has a guitar collection and a bunch of abnormally shaped guitars

- big meat eater (steak, bacon etc)

- sometimes uses his wings/feathers to flip people off

- favorite soda is root beer

- good with kids

- good with animals too

- heavy sleeper

- has angel kisses all over his body (little brown dots)

- his favorite pony is princess celestia OR rainbow dash

- takes short showers

- wears guyliner

- favorite candy is red licorice

- if he was a man in modern day society he would be Russian or American

- tits over ass

- burps and blows it at people

- loves to smell good, probably has a collection of fragrances

- witty but also stupid

- really really enjoys spending time in nature but you'll never hear him admit it

--->> NSFW HCS

- loves to hold his partner's face and make them look him dead in the eye when he finishes

- definitely has a breeding kink

- not a whimper-y guy, more of a gasp, groan, and swearer

- very grabby, he'll hold onto any part of his partner he can

- He never fucked Lilith, Eve was his first

- has a kink for shit talking Lucifer during sex

- ABSOLUTELY 100% HAS A GOD/WORSHIPPING KINK. HE LOVES TO BE TREATED AS IF HE WERE A DEITY

- absolute pussy drunk bastard when he's being ridden. He genuinely can't think straight when he's getting sloppy toppy and he'll be all drooling and shit

everything’s canon if you put your mind to it

[tarotoftheendless]

Sweetbitter Thoughts about Jake and Tess

I have watched the show Sweetbitter around 5 to 6 times... 3 times in one week... I was very depressed and I am in my Tom Sturridge era right now... and Jake... oh boy, Jake... he's hot as fuck. Bad boys always are.

But sadly, he fits into the "I can fix him" category of character... Now, I have my thoughts and theories on Jake, like he was groomed by Simone after being taken in by Simone's family when his mother killed herself... and that explains his strange loyalty and relationship to her, but also his unhealthy coping mechanisms with drugs, alcohol and sex. He thinks himself too damaged for love, Simone probably taught him that, and so he becomes "dangerous" because it protects himself from further harm, or so he thinks. Simone probably made him believe he is too dangerous for a real relationship, even though it is Simone that is the dangerous one.

And then in walks Tess, 8 years younger than Jake as she is 22 and he is 30. I am not one to judge when two adults meet each other when they are adults and they do happen to click naturally, but something is off about the way Jake is teasing Tess and then Tess is eating it up. Tess has her own traumas too. I have only read half the book, so I don't know if there is more to it than what the show gives us, but something made her leave her home in Ohio, her father. It sounds like there could have been enmeshment there too, much like Jake and Simone, but maybe more inappropriate as it was a father/daughter relationship? I don't know, but Tess is running and not exactly dealing with her mental and emotional issues either.

And then Tess kinda immediately wants to fuck Jake. It isn't that deep at first. She just wants to fuck him. And she gets charmed by Simone, believing the lies she tells her. And though Tess wants to get to know Jake, it is still with the main goal of fucking him. It's selfish.

The night with Sasha changed things, only slightly. Tess believes she got a glimpse of the "real" Jake and then she starts to think herself entitled to him and his history. She thinks because she got that glimpse that she now knows him, or at least thinks she has the right to know him.

When Jake finally does fuck her, she truly believes that her claim on him trumps Simone's, it doesn't. Tess never came into things with firm boundaries, she never came into whatever she has with Jake with a true desire to know him, really know him and what he actually wants and what he is actually like. And then when Tess feels entitled to Jake is when she presumes to care and know what is going on. And that is not what Jake needs.

And because of that Tess and him would have never worked... not to mention that Jake would have sided with Simone in a heartbeat. Jake has not faced what really happened to him and how toxic and abusive his relationship with Simone really is, so yeah, Jake would have dropped Tess as quickly as he gave into her because she dared to feel entitled to him and to finally act like she cared.

He would feel betrayed though, still. It would break him more than the other women (and maybe men too... the show never said he wasn't bi, just that he was a top... which I have thoughts on that too...) because he maybe would have believed for half a second that maybe Tess did care, but Simone has her hooks in him and he is not ready to deal with his shit and let go of his coping mechanisms yet, so, he would drop Tess.

Off topic but not, yes Jake is said to be a top, but I am not sure Tom Sturridge exactly gave that impression with how he showed how Jake fucks, or makes-out with women... forceful, yes, impulsive, yes, flirts first, yes, but top? I am not sure about that. When we first see him making-out with Viv he seems lost in the sauce but not in a way that makes it seem like he's controlling the situation. He seems to worship those he is with, and I guess you can be a top and do that, but Jake always gave the impression of being touch-starved (yes, I know he gets sex a lot, just go with me on this...). Like he is searching for some sort of connection each time he is with someone, but isn't finding it completely.

And I also don't think he would say no to someone else taking control, if it meant getting the kind of connection he has been searching for, then yeah, I do think Jake would welcome being topped as a part of his worship. I also think Simone has probably topped him plenty with the hold she has over him...so... But yeah, if Tom Sturridge wanted us to believe Jake was a top, maybe acting like a touch-starved blissed out sexual-touch-is-my-drug worshipper is not the way to do it. He didn't choke anyone... so... yeah...

Anyway... I don't think Tess and Jake would have worked because she didn't come into the situation with her own issues worked through, firm boundaries set and an actual friendship first with Jake that then could have proven to him that she actually cared about his past, history and who he really is.

Jake needs someone who understands him, maybe has been through similar things, but also has worked through it a bit more than Jake has so they can actually help Jake, genuinely. And it needs to be friendship first. Attraction can be there, but boundaries of creating a solid friendship first based on trust and actual care for each other's wellbeing should come first before sex. I think Jake needs a wake-up call and to get sober, and he needs to face what happened to him... and maybe someone who has dealt with similar can help him by understanding and being his friend first. A friendship without holding something over his head is exactly the kind of foundation Jake needs for an actual lasting relationship.

And Tess? She needs to grow up and deal with her own shit and not try to fuck people with that being her first goal and then presume to claim to care about those people. She needs therapy... and to also get sober.

Jake also needs therapy... lots of it. And he needs to walk away from Simone. Simone has always threatened to walk out on him finally, well, I think that after Jake comes to terms with what has happened to him at her hand that he needs to walk away from her instead. He needs to stand on his own two feet.

I, unfortunately, don't think that he'd come to that conclusion on his own. He needs a wake-up call, a fuck up so bad it makes him realize how bad things have gotten. And I do think he needs someone to help him take the steps to get better, but I do think his journey should be one where he finally lives for himself and stands on his own two feet. And they may or may not include a lasting romantic relationship. Part of me wants him to learn what real love actually looks like, but the other part of me thinks he needs to be on his own and learn to love himself first. Maybe both can happen at the same time... who knows... where's the fanfic guys? Do I need to write it? Fuck...

Let me know what ya'll think. These are just my thoughts... my continued thoughts about Jake from Sweetbitter. Look through my other posts so you can see some other thoughts I have had about Jake.

[j0kb0x]

Over-analyzing the shit out of “Meet The Spy”

- You’re insane if you said you suspected Scout. The writers of this short did a good job hiding the fact that this was Red Spy in disguise at the time. The whole narrative of deceiving the audience is a perfect way to bring out the character’s affects on people and to show how much of a threat he really is.

- Speaking of which, what makes the character even more horrifying is the Spy’s general ability to seemingly psychoanalyze people around him. Blu spy (subjectively) shows signs of suspecting the disguised Scout, and Red spy roleplays as Scout so accurately, right down to his over the top ignorance and pretending to cut himself with the blade of his own butterfly knife. He couldn’t have done this without throughly gathering information on his own teammates. Creepy mf.

- Speaking of that scene where Red Spy pretends to cut himself, the whole action itself is GENIUS writing. Not only are the other mercs being deceived into thinking this is the real Scout, but the audience is as well. Because no spy would do such a terrible job demonstrating a basic opening balisong trick. Only someone as over his head and stupid as Scout would pick a weapon up too confidently without thinking twice and then promptly cut himself with it.

- After Scout sends a random storm of insults Blu spy’s way; he then adds “No offense..” At the end. If you watched this short the first time you wouldn’t have caught it, but this random proclamation at the end is Red spy’s own self awareness and sarcasm shining through. Showing how ironic it is that he’s indeed resorting to insulting himself in order to pass off. He doesn’t think that about himself at all; let’s be honest. This isn’t enough to be a slip up because it has double implications. You can also interpret this as Scout not wanting to get on Blu spy’s bad side. Red Spy knows how to choose his words wisely.

- Blu spy’s “I can assure you, they weren’t like me.” Is another double implication. It could be either seen as passive aggressively objecting against Scout’s insults, or even threatening the Red Spy he suspects might be disguised as Scout. Lots of fucking social mind games here for the audience to try and understand.

- When Scout sees the Blu spy’s head get blown clean off, he reacts as if he’s shocked at soldier’s lack of impulse control. Not only did Red spy deduct pretty quickly he had to react like this in a spilt second, but also you can notice his mask beginning to slightly falter in this scene as he realizes his main competition was now gone. The way he steps forward to check if Blu spy is truly dead is way too off-putting and doesn’t fit Scout’s typical body language whatsoever.

- Finally, Scout’s expression turns into a dead fucking hard gaze once he realizes he has the perfect opening here, now that soldier and heavy are distracted. This gave me chills as a kid. Then the disguised Red Spy throughly demonstrates he’s fully capable of doing a knife trick. The camera is right at his hand and makes sure to place emphasis on this moment as realization slowly sets in for the audience that they’ve been completely misled this entire time.

- Red spy finishes Blu spy’s sentence before he got blasted to smithereens. Showing once again how ironic the situation is, perfectly balancing ironic humor and the feeling of pure terror. “Right behind you.” Comes off more raw than it should. Emphasis on this line is done perfectly by Dennis Bateman. Sounds both like a velvet whisper, and a snake hissing before striking. 10/10 acting here.

[mail-posting]

magic and monsters... my many hours poring over my 10 dnd 5e sourcebooks are coming for me. gonna just touch on ale for right now i think because otherwise i will yap for. an eternity. (the racial thoughts are supplementary for most bc i'm not fully sure, except in andrew's case where i have reasons for my thoughts.) andrew: dark elves (drow in 5e) are sunlight sensitive and also there's a whole stigma due to the predisposition they have in lore to be evil-aligned (yes i know they're dedicated to lolth and exceptions are rare but. it fits andrew ok. he can't see shit in the light, people see him and think he's a certain way... ough.) as for his class, i could see him as trying to be life domain cleric (life domain is all about healing and caring for those in need), but he instead is given the grave domain (focused on keeping the cycle of life, keeping the dead dead) or light domain (light is focused on rebirth and truth- though a lot of spells involve flashbanging the opposition and andrew could see that as his penance for asking the deity's aid). if he were a paladin, i'd see him as an oath of devotion one, its tenets line up with how he thinks i feel! also when he fails to save someone or when something happens that is out of his control he'd blame himself long before anyone else would, thinking he broke his oath when he never did... and we have bright light emittance as a capstone ability which. not good for him!! he can't see!! he has str/con from his work, and i think he'd be better at wis than cha (points for cleric - paladins cast with charisma and clerics with wisdom), int is around the middle and his dex is not good. luca: get that boy into the artificer class! i feel like he'd absolutely have an engineering focus, as an artillerist perhaps (sometimes he needs to build a cannon, ok? it's enrichment), or maybe battle smith (a sort of defensive class, which could make sense. he doesn't remember what he originally worked on, but he can work with these tools still, he can make sure he doesn't hurt anyone this time. he can protect them. right?) as for race if we go on dnd standards, i'd place him as a... maybe a half elf, elf on herman's side? maybe a gnome too. that impulsive nature is extremely gnome of him, and i believe he had a good amount of that before he uh. yeah. high int and cha, low str and con, dex and wis in the middle. emil: this man can zoom! give him a high dex stat and a scout rogue build (able to nyoom out of the way of opponents and excels at moving fast: knowing his grappling hook, we could apply that logic), with some barbarian or fighter multiclass to represent his fighting he had to do if we want the pain. i think barbarian due to the focus on channeling rage, though the heavy focus on certain spiritualities and the 'primal path' wording is difficult since i don't think he grew up with connections to living in the area the flavor text associates with barbarians, he just had to survive. beast path where he's been treated like a dog so long he becomes one in battle... berserker path where the memory is just as fuzzy as always, but now with a new goal in mind... sorry. im ill. i could see him as like. a dwarf perhaps? maybe whoever he is he's out of place where he lives currently until he meets andrew and luca and finds a family within them... looking alike never meant belonging. and these two really make him feel like he belongs.

@laceadornedvampire

[whomadewaffles]

Some pjhazel incorrect quotes I've been saving for awhile...I feel like with how starved for content shippers of these two are right now, keeping these to myself would be a crime. I'm SO sorry for not citing sources. I wasn’t originally planning to post these, and finding them retroactively is like.. impossible.

Pjhazel is the focus, but others are included as side characters. So if you don't ship them, then just scroll on by and go about your day, please!

Also, for a heads up that will apply to all 3 parts: expect bad language and sex references cos obviously.

Oh, and this is part 1 of 3, even if it is the longest part

Long post under the cut!

_______

Josie: You slept with Hazel? OUR Hazel? Callahan??

Pj: I didn't know what else to do! She had those big, sad eyes. I couldn't help it.

Josie: ...sure, sounds like you had no other choice.

--------

Pj: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or sarcastic and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

--------

Hazel, jumping out of pj's closet: BOO!

Pj:

Hazel:

Pj:

Hazel: *makes the patented Hazel callahan sad face*

Pj: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!

------

Hazel: TERRIBLE NEWS!

Pj: Did you disarm the bomb?

Hazel: If I disarmed it, would I come running in here and shout, TERRIBLE NEWS!?

------

Pj: hazel, you are such a nerdy little dork, you can't pull any girl.

Hazel * has been crushing on her since they met*: okay. that's fine.

*2 years later*

Hazel: so what did you say? Repeat that again.

Pj: 🤡

--------

Pj: It has come to my attention, that I have some unresolved feelings or resentment toward my father.

Therapist: a little late, but I’m happy you’ve taken this first step. Now you can start looking to overcome that.

Pj: Already done. I’ve found a full proof solution…I’m going to ignore it. Completely and utterly.

Pj: just like my dad did me.

--------

Pj: the secret to being impulsive successfully is being faster than the consequences of your actions. you can't let them catch you or its all over

Annie: is that why everytime Hazel even looks at you since you kissed her you run away like a little bitch?

-------

Pj *trying everything she can to kiss hazel again without just admitting she likes her like a normal healthy person*: Hey, are you aware that kissing reduces stress?

Hazel: Okay.

Pj:

Hazel:

Pj: Hey, you look stressed. Like, really stressed. Just wanted to let you know.

--------

Hazel: It’s not that I don’t trust pj, I just... don’t trust her impulse control

-------

Hazel: None of you might remember this, but there was a time when PJ considered herself out of my league.

Hazel: Oh, how the mighty have fallen (into my arms)

------

Hazel *trying to teach her girlfriend how to take better notes in class*: to make it easier, you should always highlight the important things

*later*

Annie: Hazel, why are you covered in different colored highlighter?

Hazel: don't ask

Pj: she's important! okay!?

-------

Hazel: I'm freaking out, How do I make our first date really romantic?

Stella-Rebecca: Be mysterious.

Hazel: Okay!

*later, while on a date with pj* 

Pj: So where are we going?

Hazel: None of your fucking business.

Pj *is shocked and a little turned on* 😳

-------

Pj: Yeah, I lost the ability to give a shit at a very young age. It was a very tragic accident. Never recovered

------

Pj: *on the phone with josie* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit.

Josie: You’re pulling Oreos apart and shaving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you?

Pj: Maybe.

-----

Pj: I love you.

Hazel: I thought I annoyed you?

Pj: You do annoy me. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating moment with you.

--------

Pj: Im tired

Hazel: You should come to the gym with me! We could make it a date and exercising gives you energy!

Pj: Yeah, the same energy you need to go to the gym

Pj: Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me

------

Pj *texting*: I'm showering

Hazel *texting back*: oh nice, send a pic of you're hair in a giant spike lmao!

--------

Pj: rest assured, rational me and impulsive me are having a fucking smackdown 24/7 100% of the time

-----

Hazel: Please, this is the 4th time its happened, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Pj: I'm sorry is this OUR broken nose? Stay out of it.

------

Pj: I asked Hazel out.

Britney: Oh, I’m sorry.

Pj: Why?

Brittney: Well, I assume she said no.

Pj: No, she said yes.

Brittney: Really? Then I’m sorry for her.

-------

Pj: Shout out to my girlfriend who just randomly decided to eat my chapstick.

Hazel: WHY WOULD THEY MAKE IT COTTON-CANDY FLAVORED IF IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE EATEN?!

--------

Pj: You're annoying.

Hazel *in her head*: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words

------

Pj: I win

Hazel: I am literally pinning you down

Pj: I know

-----

Hazel: So sorry for making you fall in love with me because of my autistic swag and kissable lips.

--------

Pj: *Drinking a bottle of water*

Josie: Since when do you carry water? I've known you my whole life and you never do that.

Pj: Hazel freaked out ‘cause I told her I never drink water

Pj: Now she’s making me drink 8 glasses a day

Pj: It’s like, there’s water in soda, coffee, the little pools of water on pizza…

Isabel: …That’s grease

Pj: Well it’s wet isn’t it!

-------

Hazel: You're in love with me?

Pj: Unless you're not in love with me. Then I take it back, because, you know... I'm cool.

-------

Pj: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Hazel *singing*: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Pj *happy sigh*: Yeah, you're my dork.

--------

Pj: I'm a very good liar.

Josie: Yesterday, I asked if you were missing  hazel while she was gone, and you said "no" right before bursting into tears.

--------

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So like, liquid luck makes you choose outcomes that will benefit you. Which means that the potion gives some level of foresight/omniscience (sorta like Hong Bellamy), not that the user is aware of it.

So... why don't all wizards abuse the shit out of that? What are the limitations? Why didn't Voldemort drink some before going to the battle? Why don't ministry of magic candidates use it to get the job? We don't students use it to cheat on tests?

WHY THE FUCK DID SLUGHORN GIVE THIS INCREDIBLY POWERFUL MAGICAL POTION TO A STUDENT?????

I imagine it makes you the equivalent of an NFA, at each decision point there are multiple probable outcomes, and the potion makes it such that you get the highest ranking path that leads to the most probable good result.

The obvious answer is JKR only came up with it in book 6, had an "oh fuck" moment when she realized everyone and their brother would use it all the time, and came up with weird exceptions for why it's never used.

JKR does this a lot with things like portkeys, time turners, you name it. It will suddenly exist in a book and either be treated like it was there the whole time or all the time turners in the world get smashed in book 5 and so the Death Eaters can never ever get one.

But this is a Watsonian blog so I have to try.

Canonically we're given a few reasons.

The Time Ingredients, and Skill of the Potion

When we're introduced to felix felicius it's noted that it's highly expensive to make with its base materials being both rare and luxury items (I believe gold is an ingredient).

Ron, Harry, and Hermione once casually debate making it themselves but take a look at the price tag and shudder.

It also takes a large amount of time. A batch has to be very carefully brewed over a six month period. This requires a) not only buying all the material but b) having the time to dedicate to the brewing.

It's also noted as a particularly difficult potion to brew and outside the skillset of most wizards.

There's Presumably Some Means of Detection

It's noted right away that the use of the potion is forbidden in job applications, examinations, and sporting events. This is why Hermione nags at Harry when she thinks he gave the potion to Ron. What this assumes is that there's some drug testing in the wizarding world where they can and will catch you if you try to use it in these settings.

(Nevermind we never see the students drug tested but let's just play along with it for now.)

Presumably, some very wealthy people do try this now and then, but if they have that kind of money it's probably easier to just buy the answer sheet or else buy the position.

It's Highly Addictive and Messes with Your Thought Process

Say all of the above doesn't bother you. You have the time, talent, money, and are sure you can escape detection or are using it in a situation where it doesn't matter if anyone knows you're using it.

There's still some issues.

The first is that it's highly addictive. If you keep using it, you will become addicted to it, which is a problem if you can't afford the materials, have to have a batch constantly on hand when it's a six month brewing process, and suffer whatever physical and mental side effects come with addiction.

So, already, if you use it, you want to save it for when you truly need it.

Second is that what we see from Harry it seriously fucks with your reasoning ability. Harry when on felix felicius acts like he's high, is unable to explain any of his decisions when asked, and acts on impulse guided by gut feelings.

He's not really in control of his actions.

Now, Harry's fine with that, but I don't see Tom Riddle being alright with that even if, in theory, it will make the outcome of an event more likely.

Probability is Only Probable

What felix felicius seems to do is make you make the right decision at the right time to get the most likely outcome of an event.

However, that doesn't guarantee an outcome of the probability is simply too low or else the event is impossible. If you're going to lose the battle then you're going to lose the battle.

What might happen is that felix felicius makes you choose something with some other outcome (less bad but not the worse) where you in the aftermath have no idea why you chose to do that and can't justify it to yourself.

Had Harry not been able to get the Slughorn memory even after drinking the potion (or had to do something truly awful to do it) then Harry would have declared the potion bullshit even if he got some other, good, result or got the memory in a way he didn't like.

Conclusion

I can see why people don't take it.

Harry would, but he's very stupid. However, he doesn't have the patience for it.

[sanrielle]

Hello! I hope you're doing well.

OTP Asks: #3, 8, 10 and 27 for Tokka please?

Hi! I'm good! Hope you are too :)

3. Jealousy issues?

I think maybe young-Toph might've been jealous of Suki, simply because she was teen with a crush on a guy she couldn't have. But once she and Sokka are actually a couple, she has no real trust issues. Even without her deception detection, she knows that Sokka is a loyal guy. Maybe lots of girls flirt with him, but I think she'd be more likely to laugh it off than get upset. 'He's mine, deal with it' *sticks her tongue out*

I could see Sokka being more likely to get jealous if someone else showed an interest in Toph, but it would be a very one-sided thing. I don't think Toph would do anything to make him *feel* jealous. She doesn't play games like that. Sokka's issue would be insecurity, not lack of trust.

8. Have an AU thought? (someone else asked this one so I'll copy/paste XD)

Most of my Tokka AUs involve them living happily ever after lol. As opposed to the doomed-canon-compliant-relationship path that I am also addicted to. I don't really have anything specific in the AU vein (like modern or things like that), but I do enjoy some good fluff where they figure their shit out and learn to communicate. Usually they have a few oopsie kids because they're animals >:)

10. How do they deal with the other’s family?

Lao and Poppy do not like Sokka. They're uppity elites and would probably be pretty racist towards a 'Water Tribe savage'. Sure, they can be civil if it doesn't matter, but him preventing their only daughter from marrying in their circle? Unforgivable. They stubbornly maintain that they could've 'rehabilitated' her into what they wanted, if only Sokka hadn't come along and ruined her.

Hakoda isn't *super* close to Toph (she hates going to the SWT) but has a good opinion of her and thinks she's a good match for Sokka. He knows Sokka needs a strong woman to keep his head on straight. And he's always known that Sokka would want bigger and better things than staying in the south pole his whole life, so it's no surprise to him that he would prefer to stay in Republic City for most of adulthood.

27. Who brings home an illegal pet?

While I feel like the obvious answer is Sokka, I think he'd be much more likely to get a pet as an impulse purchase after walking past a pet store.

But Toph...

One day, she raids the hideout of a triad member and finds a bunch of exotic animals. While waiting for animal control, she bonds with a particularly pitiful pygmy leopard fox with three legs. After telling it her troubles, she sneaks it out of the hideout.

Thanks for the ask!

[friendofthecrows]

Hi, I hope it's okay to ask - I know very little about aspd and found your posts very educational. What I am still trying to understand is: if someone with aspd has no empathy, sympathy, compassion etc, what makes you want to (in your words) be a "functional" member of society, to not harm others even if it would benefit you? What makes interpersonal connection valuable and enjoyable for you? Sorry if this is a stupid question.

Not a stupid question at all. (And it is always ok to ask, I can always just not answer if I don't like the question <3)

Sorry for answering this late, but on the bright side I've written the Goncharov anchovy scene.

The short answer is:

About half because we're not malicious by default, and about half because it's disadvantageous to be harmful so much of the time.

More explanation:

Most of the time, since we're not really going to care too much one way or another, it's not too "out of the way" so to speak to act good. And that's even without taking into account that all the symptoms of aspd are on a spectrum. It is possible (not even that uncommon, just difficult) for people with aspd to have some people they care about, and they may want to help those people even if it isn't beneficial, or at least so they don't leave them.

Another factor is that while it's a stereotype for antisocials to always be cold and unfeeling, that's not always true. Being detached from one's emotions or having a limited emotional range is common, but so is having very volatile emotions which are unpredictable or difficult to control. We tend towards one end or another of the extremes. And also boredom is a big problem for people with aspd. There are some interesting studies on this actually, but because of a few physiological factors, our sensations (both physically and emotionally) are often dampened, and sensation-seeking and other means of staving off the Nothing TM are pretty much staple coping mechanisms. Combine that + emotions are actually possible/common and you have someone who might want to feel your praise or attention, or might find your problems interesting, or might just be desperate for something that takes them out of their routine.

Alternatively, we might want to avoid the consequences of being unhelpful, rude, or hurtful. Keep in mind that aspd is a disorder that develops in response to early but prolonged childhood trauma, often abuse. That plus how society reacts to us makes it obvious why "masking" is pretty much a constant thing for any of us who can maintain it. It has been shown to us, time and time again, that acting "like a psychopath" is going to get us punished in some way. Showing people that side is ✨Bad Decision Zone✨.

Speaking of which...

We also tend to have 1. poor impulse control and 2. really skewed risk versus return. For most of us, we mentally minimize risk. So a lot of our actual destructive and harmful behavior is legit just "I thought about this and then did it before I realized this might be the ✨Bad Decision Zone✨." Yeah, sometimes we are more traditionally scheming, but like, you actually have to be able to stick to a plan for that, and our poor impulse control makes that really hard. It happens, for sure. But if you think "gosh if they catch onto this I'm going to be hurt again" paired with "this person is pretty interesting I don't want them to leave" and "oh wait a sec: I'm going to spend the next 3-7 business weeks on a DIFFERENT bad decision" plus "holy shit...positive emotions? Those are great." You often get what appears to be ultimately harmless and often outright beneficial behavior even if it isn't helping the aspd person in question, at least not in an obvious way.

Lastly, a lot of times, these things like for example "I don't want them to leave" can turn manipulative. But not all manipulation is created equal. Sometimes it might turn into a toxic relationship, or it might just end up with them being an extra-good friend. It can go either way.

"What makes interpersonal connection valuable and enjoyable for you?" It is an entirely different question and is likely to get completely different responses from different antisocials. Even within my own system, you'll get answers ranging from "it isn't," to "well, people can be fun," to "I'm just so desperate to be liked you have no idea," to "it isn't but this ONE person..." You get the idea.

I was wrong about lastly, one final thing: Whilst people with aspd have either really low or no empathy, compassion, as in the intellectual understanding of others' pain, is possible. I've never really understood the precise meaning of sympathy so I can't comment on that one. It always just seems like compassion crossed with pity so idk? I'd actually be curious as to what people think of that one.

[doctorknightley]

WHO: Doctor Knightley and Howl Forey SUMMARY: Told you he's efficient, Knightley had a chat with Howl. TW: Violence, Misgendering

If Knightley's honest it had taken every fiber of self control he possessed not to simply grab Howl and throw him into the crack. Though that would leave a few questions left unanswered, ones that despite her best efforts clearly bothered Eagan during her check up. 

The bruises and the way that their limp had partly returned brought that familiar flash of anger. He had very few people he considered a priority in his life, friends sure, but gaining the label of family was limited to a small handful. 

Walking into one of the houses that had been damaged during the festival, he glanced around before spotting Howl. He was wearing boots and gloves, grumbling as he peered down the stairs towards the basement. 

Glancing over at Knightley, Howl blinked expecting one of the construction guys or Lui, even if the prick seemed pissed at him lately. He and Vero had been giving him the cold shoulder, he was pretty sure their little brother had gone crying over Eagan. It was frustrating how much that tiny fuck was still ruining his life. 

“House is closed for repairs, whatever shit you left behind is gonna have to wait till we finish,” Howl grumbled, the water was annoying and with a flooded basement he was going to be stuck here all day. 

“Lui sent me, offered to volunteer and help out,” Knightley replied, briefly giving Howl a once over when he'd looked away. Knightley had about an inch on him, they were both likely in the same weight class. For the most part any muscle Howl had seemed to have come from manual labor, all things considered he was fairly confident in being able to handle him. 

From talking to Eagan he knew the man was impulsive which was his only real concern. Impulsive people were easy enough to predict but it also meant if he wasn't dealt with properly someone else could be the target. In this case Eagan, which had him more focused on figuring out what all Howl seemed to know about her mother. 

Eagan had seemed convinced it wasn't simple insults, that Howl had acted familiar. If that was the case it was likely he'd either known Eagan's mother, though there was the small chance Howl was the man who had killed Eagan’s parents but that seemed unlikely all things considered. 

“Shit, you volunteered for this? Are you a masochist or something,” Howl asked, glancing back at Knightley with his brow furrowed. 

Looking at Howl's face again, Knightley can see the swelling had gone down on his face. A few bruises still scattered on one side of his face. 

“Just wanted to do my part,” Knightley replied before giving him a curious look, “Did you get hurt during the festival? I can look it over if you like, normally I work at the retirement home as a doctor.” 

As he spoke he'd moved closer, briefly glancing down the stairs and seeing the water at the bottom. He grimaced as the smell hit him, making a mental note to continue that line of discussion with Zarina later. 

“Well ain't you a saint,” Howl grumbled before shrugging, he hadn't actually ever gotten checked out at the clinic. Too pissed about the whole thing and unwilling to admit what had actually happened. “Yeah alright, can you check my nose? Swear it looks crooked now but maybe I'm just seeing shit.” 

Knightley moved closer, placing his gloved hands on Howl's face and turning it to properly inspect. Vaguely he wondered which hand Eagan had used to punch him, the thought that maybe adding a punching bag to her physical therapy wouldn't be a bad idea. 

“Most of the bruising and swelling seems to have healed on its own. Did you have an accident during the chaos?” Knightley asked moving his thumbs to press on Howl's nose, ignoring the way he winced. 

“Fuck…,” Howl hissed still feeling sore, “Watch it,” he snapped. He debated how to answer but considering the mini Luna had likely been running his mouth he might as well try and do some type of damage control. “Some little shit ran at me, thought he was a tough guy and put him back in his place. Shit do you need to touch it this much,” he questioned, wincing again. 

“Just making sure nothing is broken,” Knightley said, keeping the same neutral tone. He hates Howl for this, for having to act apathetic towards Eagan, for having to keep from correcting him. Eagan is one of his priorities and having to act like they aren't bothers him more than he'd thought it would. 

“If they just attacked you out of nowhere, you could have reported it to the police,” Knightley muses. 

“Wasn't worth the hassle besides fucking town blew up with all that water,” Howl said frowning to himself, “Cops in this town are gloried hall monitors. The hell I need em for. I can handle a little bitch wolf.” 

Knightley’s hands stilled on Howl's face for a brief second, only the years of training keeping him from physically reacting. Any other time he'd have written that insult off as a coincidence, but Howl's face and tone. It was said with too much familiarity, too much real disdain for someone who was meant to be a stranger. Staring at Howl, with his face so close he can see it, one of the few ways that he could even have any idea of who Eagan's mother is. 

“That's a specific insult,” Knightley said, voice soft. It’s too specific, considering as far as he knows only two people had ever referred to Eagan as little wolf. Himself when he’d learned her full name and as well as what one of her middle names meant, and her mother. Eagan hadn’t told him that directly but the reaction when he said it the first time, as well as a few other things had clued him in.

“Yeah what of it? You've seen the little shit in town,” Howl said and thinking about Eagan has that same frustration coming back in full force. Not bothering to think over what he's saying, “He's a bitch who makes all his problems everyone else's just like his bitch mom. Can't even fight and stupid as hell, actually thinks his brother's alive cause he's too much of a dumbshit to-”

Whatever tirade he was planning on continuing is cut off when Knightley lets his hands drop to Howl’s shoulders and firmly shoves him down the basement stairs. He can hear him cursing as he tumbles down before there's a splash. For a moment Knightley holds his breath, takes a moment to recollect himself. That had been impulsive, the white hot anger settling in his chest as he forced it down. 

Walking down the stairs he can see Howl rolling onto his back, cursing and hissing in pain, both from the fall and the water now soaking into his clothes. Moving towards him he settles one of his boots in the center of Howl's chest keeping him firmly in place, crouching to lean onto his knee and ignoring the way he can hear Howl's breathing get rougher with the pressure on his chest. 

Looking him over, Knightley bites back a sigh and says, “You're Eagan's father.” It's not a question, it's a statement. The anger in his chest is almost overwhelming but he has self control, he can shut it down to stay focused. He was already impulsive once, again annoyed at Howl for having him act this way. 

“Motherfucker,” Howl said, he wanted to shove Knightley off, but between the fall and the water he doesn't have enough leverage or strength to. “I ain't his fucking dad, I signed that shit away.” 

Knightley can feel his lips twitch, he knows how long it takes someone to drown. Has more than a lifetime of experience with that sensation, it would be easy to flip Howl over and use the water down here he thinks. Still as tempting as it is, he can't act on something like that without Eagan's knowledge. 

With everything he knows about Eagan, what she's gone through, he has to hold his breath to collect himself again. If Howl had stayed away Knightley wouldn't have much of an issue with him, but the bruises on Eagan's body flash in his head again. Putting more of his weight on Howl's chest he ignored the grunt, “There's no water in your ears is there?” 

Howl's brow furrowed, moving his hands to try and get Knightley's foot off his chest. Wincing at the way the water is stinging him all over, “Fuck you,” he snaps grunting when Knightley presses harder, “No there's no fucking water in my ears, happy?” 

Knightley hums in thought, “Good, so you'll hear me clearly. Personally? I don't care what reason you had for leaving Eagan or her mother. And it's her and sometimes they for the record,” his eyes narrowing as he looks down at Howl. “I do want to know, however, were you ever contacted about Eagan after leaving?” 

Howl wants to tell him to go to hell but the water is fully stinging him now. “Like twice, but that shit wasn't my problem. Not my fault hi-her,” he corrects when he feels the pressure on his chest increase, “her mom couldn't find a guy who could actually keep em safe.” 

Eagan had mentioned how Howl didn't seem to know when to stop talking. He knows what reaction they'd have at hearing this, so he doesn't feel guilty when he raises his foot and slams it twice against Howl's side. Rolling fully onto his side Howl yelled, clutching at himself.  

Leaning down, Knightley shoved Howl’s hands away and lifted up his shirt. Tilting his head he gave a brief glance, ignoring the burning on his arms from Howl's gloved hands trying to shove him off. “Bruised ribs, you should ice them tonight to keep the swelling down. I'll let Lui know about you accidentally tripping down the stairs. Like you said the glorified hall monitors aren't much help right?” 

Pulling back he barely has to move to dodge the kick Howl throws his way as he scrambles back onto his feet, one arm wrapped around his midsection. The blank expression is back at the glare Howl gives him. 

“For what it's worth, my wife is the town pharmacist. Keep that in mind if you're considering visiting the clinic,” Knightley said, tone casual like he was remarking on the weather. 

Howl was panting, wincing as he struggled to get his breathing in order. Considering no one else was here and how Lui and Vero felt about him he knew he wasn't getting any sort of backup to dispute Knightley's claim. Clenching his jaw he felt his fists trembling. 

“You know when you go to medical school you learn more than just how to help treat someone, you also learn how far you can push the human body without risk of death. Just some food for thought,” Knightley said, his tone never changing, before he shook the water off his arms. “Don't forget to ice your ribs,” he added before walking back up the stairs and out of the house. Taking the gloves off he shoved them into his back pocket and ran his hands through his hair, already dreading the talk he was going to need to have with Eagan.

[96percentdone]

sorry i'm gonna be a hater out in the open for a bit but i am going insane at the common opinion that saito is like a threatening presence who has a lot of impactful screen-time no he doesn't he sucks he's so boring he's the most boring guy in the whole series rohan is more interesting than he is and rohan is also boring i literally. what??? you guys feel threatened and intimidated by saito?????? he's so bland! he's not even a good cartoon character! he has no charisma, and it's like not even on purpose, the voice actor in either version is trying SO hard, but like the material they have to work with is hot garbage.

like they want saito to simultaneously be a cocky spoiled brat and a calculating mastermind at the same time, but he already failed at the latter because his plan sucks and he's driven by impulse. you could do something interesting with that, like saito wants to feel more clever and in control than he actually is, but they like don't. the thing that enables saito to get away with everything, because he leaves evidence all over the place all the time, is he's using state tech he stole that allows him to swap bodies, and he hid it in a forbidden ward of tokyo, both of which happened before he started doing all this shit, and neither of which he would have gotten away with if he wasn't an impulsive jackass who wanted to swap bodies for funsies leaving both him and date incapacited, and then he got mad about it.

he fucking isn't even getting away with his og kills by his own merits he has yakuza backing and daddy's money. he had a whole year to figure out the people date is close to and he doesn't try to kill mizuki??? he is not clever, this is not well planned, nothing about this is intimidating, and i spent the whole game before the reveal just trying to figure out why all the sus people keep dying, because the new cyclops serial killer is more of a mystery than a threat. all this DOES work for establishing the rich brat angle, i'll give the writers that, but no one talks about saito like he's an brat who fails at everything he does (including the one thing he likes to do), upon the reveal they're too busy being fucking ableist for an hour about him like.

saito's motives that could be less ableist if they leaned into his beef with his dad more, but they don't it's treated as like a footnote, they go real hard on yelling "HE'S JUST CRAAAAAAZY MAN HIS BRAIN WAS BORN EEEEEVIIILLLL SO HE MUST DIE" and like. yikes. but also. BORING. the daddy issues would be more interesting, a lot of the first game is about family, they have hints of it, but it's absolutely drowned out by the rampant 'wow those birth defects really do make the worst people ever good thing we killed that one.' and this is his only real screentime too, because the rest of it is deliberately obfuscated bullshit in the name of the bodyswapping twist.

most of his screen time he's impersonating other people in a vaguely passable manner, and he only gets away with it is because odds are you don't really know what iris is actually like yet, and date sure doesn't on the entire red side because he doesn't remember his life as falco, and he only GETS his memories back by hanging around the real deal like. he's a garbage actor, something quite noticeable on a second playthrough and more proof he's an incompetent clown, but he has to pose as others for the sake of the plot cause he's the bodyswapping plot twist first and foremost. you don't even really see HIM in his ruse, other than he's bad at impersonating (which you only know after finishing) and does some hand movements, and also he acts sus, which is like a prerequisite in a detective story so it doesn't count as a personality trait of his. he can't be himself, he just has to be a bad version of iris, or sejima, or renju.

'but what about his somnia!' what about them? they're some of the worst somnia in the whole series. saito has three, three, somnia and like the red branch of vain is the only one that establishes anything about him other than bad vibes and murder and ohohohohohoo he's so CRAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYY, by which i mean it hints at his daddy issues that they neglect in favor of 24/7/365 ableism, so like. what am i supposed to say? they're lame! THEY ARE LAME AS SHIT. refrain is just fuckin: 'hey do you remember the murders from this side of the flowchart' with a dose of bad vibes, and chain is just 'hey look! look! these were the original body swaps!' with more bad vibes and a gay little dance, maybe the most interesting thing saito has ever offered. and you can't get to know him from other sources either. not even people who know him personally, like his dad (a much more compelling and better written character), talk about him as his own person for plot reasons. so then all you have left is end of annihilation route and resolution route, and like. its a snoozefest.

annihilation route saito doesn't work because the game seems to want me to believe he's really cunning, but i've seen everything he's done up until this point, so i already know he's a buffoon with no aptitude for crime and they're not going to convince me otherwise. 100% with his track record pewter just knocked his bitch ass out and then swapped them back and put his ass in jail lmao. and his behavior in the resolution route post reveal is like cookie cutter murder man 'i have your wife give me what i want or the girl dies' coupled with evil laughter and a vindictive streak. on their own, these things aren't bad, i like cliches when they're done well, but when he finally gets screen time of his own, a chance to speak from himself, once again he's just offering crazed serial killer murder man, no longer forced to pretend to be characters more interesting than he is. he's free to do the most generic shit imaginable! they can't possibly be well-executed cliches that say something meaningful about him when everything up until that point was NOTHING.

they didn't think about who saito is beyond crazed killer man with evil brain disease and a smidge of daddy issues. the gimmick of 'serial killer who swaps bodies' was a higher priority, and it makes for a fun mystery, but it makes for a boring character. saito is just a bad character because he's written like ass.

[eeriehowl]

eredin for the character ask thingy of course! but also maybe auberon? 👀 up to you

thank you so much elis!! i really appreciate it.💛

eredin

sexuality headcanon: gay. i actually tend to block ppl if they ship him with women no matter who he is shipped with because this is my strongest sexuality headcanon in witcher...it's obviously not anything inherently problematic, just makes me personally very uncomfortable, so i curate my experience. gender headcanon: he's definitely masculine and enjoys it, that's all i can say. a ship I have with said character: avallac'h. i'm usually not much of a multishipper, so...that's it. a brotp I have with said character: imlerith! he actually has the opposite effect of ava on eredin though...when ava is around, his impulse control is better, while imlerith makes it worse. they are besties though. a notp I have with said character: ciri. over all else is that i think it's creepy but i can also easily add further to that. i'm sure there is no attraction from either side, ciri has an aversion to anything actually happening between them if her anxiety is anything to go by. i find it strange that people think her attraction to him was genuine. however, this is about eredin, so i will go more into how he acts and feels towards her instead. eredin isn't even slightly attracted to her. the only line that could even slightly indicate that is an offhanded comment... he notes that some prefer being roughly caressed and that he would not personally do something of the sort non-consensually ("only if you permit me"). this p much potentially points out his own general view on sex and i do not think at all that he was actually flirting. he changes the subject without any further ado because he doesn't care for continuing that topic...it was, as said, an off-hand comment. ciri very much specifies that he showed no interest in her or doing anything with her; he stares at her with cold eyes and only thinks about his own shenanigans and straight out specifies how little he thinks of her *twice*...he straight-up says that he doesn't think that she is special in any way, seemingly not even believing that she has any powers at all from the way he talks. explains that he thinks ava & auberon are wrong about her. in conclusion, why people think ciri & eredin would want anything to do with one another is beyond me. a random headcanon: eredin had a decent relationship with his mother before he left her to be independent. he never met his father but that doesn't matter to him and didn't affect him. eredin got his brutal honesty from his mother, she was like that too. she was not toxic in any way though. in the end, he ended up seeing value in the things she had taught him, but did not choose to take her name because it did not seem vital to him that he'd have his origins be clear in his name. she had already given him his own name and he would carry that with him as a reminder instead. eredin wasn't born into a higher up family, pretty much got his recognition by just being an extremely talented swordsman. it was a passion of his. he's got the personality of a natural leader and earned the respect of many despite his sharp tongue...though he was partially feared too and would grow to be revered and feared more and more over time. wasn't much of a surprise when he ended up becoming a general. general opinion over said character: i love him. i didn't give a shit about him in witcher 3 after seeing his face because i thought elves were boring back then...i wanted him to be a monster...and here i am now. he is a type of monster, but very different from what i initially wanted him to be. eredin in the books has lots of layers and can be interpreted in several different ways. he's also very clearly intelligent to a certain degree. game eredin is just all about loving violence and dominance with little to nothing else.

auberon

sexuality headcanon: he's tried everything. gender headcanon: i think auberon is too old to care about his gender. a ship I have with said character: with shiadhal. lara looked at them and hoped she would find something like what they had. she did not truly find it until she got to know cregennan. shiadhal died young, at least for an elf. many depict her as a warrior and i like that idea. a brotp I have with said character: never had many close friends, and many individuals he did consider friends are gone. i imagine he was sort-of friends with avallac'h's mentor. a notp I have with said character: i guess i could say with eredin, because i've seen some of that and it's not for me. doesn't induce disgust in me like ciri with aen elle does so i don't mind running into it much but i don't enjoy it. a random headcanon: his relationship with avallac'h isn't exactly friendly, it's very professional. auberon calls ava "crevan", mainly to express his authority and only partially because that used to be his potential "son-in-law" (or whatever the elven equivalent of that is, at least). general opinion over said character: i have very mixed feelings about him, though i think it leans more towards dislike. he makes me uncomfortable in many ways, which makes it ironic that his gwent card's 3rd stage is my favorite card in gwent....

[void-cloud]

So I've been ignoring my Mom all year. Which is more than usual.

See, last year I made it a point to at least call for birthdays and meet up for food every couple months or so. But this year it's been full silence from my side since what happened in January. And with the usually obligatory major holiday meetup looming in front of me, I've been trying to figure out why.

Well, turns out: I hate her.

I know this is mental health tumblr, so this isn't really a very unique statement, but I'm happy to be part of this club now x)

I knew I didn't like her. And my entire family is united in knowing that she isn't easy to deal with. But for all this time I have maintained that I don't hate her for what happened during my childhood. Yeah sure the fallout is *vaguely motions to my entire psych rep sheet* but it's not like she is the only one who had a hand in giving me abandonement issues. Both my sisters and Dad equally fucked off and left me behind in one way or another.

And yet, I don't hold the same animosity with them the way I do with her. I can have zero contact with Sis 2 for a year and we'll get together and talk and vibe with zero problems. Sis 1 apologizing to me for leaving at that time is a memory I hold dear and while I have way more conflicting feelings about my Dad, his unwavering support in the last couple years has made up for a lot of what happened earlier.

While nothing is truly resolved (and likely won't ever be at this point cause tbh I have other priorities), they all made changes and evolved and we found ways to support each other to whatever capacity possible.

Meanwhile, the person who actually raised me has just gotten worse over the years. Getting more and more wrapped up in her own bitterness and jealousy and how she has to have it the worst and everyones problems are somehow her fault and *sighs*

She yearns for connection and yet everytime something is not about her or something that interests her then it will get dismissed and the topic changed. When I got a (second) tattoo years ago, her first reaction was to say: "No stop doing that." Whenever I tried to share my interests with her growing up, she would dismiss it cause she didn't care about the thing. And then be hurt by us not having anything to talk about. I have told her multiple times that her throwing out my cool nightlamp sucked and I still think about that sometimes and so far she has apologized twice for hiding a book that had pictures she didn't approve of. Oh no, H.R.Giger is gonna...idk, I honestly never noticed that book being gone cause it was an impulse buy.

Like, there are actually many things that I can rationalize away if it was just that. Her being weird about me being queer sucked, but she also never stopped me from dating same gender or otherwise express myself. Dropping me with "family" while they fought out the divorce is a good chunk of why I am as fucked as I am but also....I 100% understand that it wasn't done with any malice. From her point of view it was the best thing she could do and welp, nobody connected the dots and did some damage control afterwards. Which is also on the rest of the family tbh

The thing is that she just never stopped being that way. Unwilling to hear that her decisions weren't good and blaming people who bring these things up for attacking her and "Well ok all is just my fault! Are you happy now??! ;_;"

A lot of things broke in me in January.

My patience for her shit was one of those.

While writing this New Years passed and I did not talk to her. Instead I spent a couple days with the rest of the family on vacation.

She has tried calling me a couple times but I just stare at the phone and move on with the day.

Idk, part of me would be elated to just go fully no contact for longer, but another wants to give her...something? A notion of why this is happening I guess. Just can't find it fully in me to formulate it yet

I'm ready to say I hate her, but I'm not ready to fully abandon her

[girl4music]

Is Willow a bad person for getting with somebody like Kennedy? It’s a relevant question to ask.

Well, I think it’s been established for quite awhile now that Willow can be a pretty bad person herself. And I don’t mean the Dark Willow thing. I mean her tendency to control or fix things to her liking.

Is it intentional? No, I don’t believe so. But nevertheless she’s too much of a wild card to realistically go into a new relationship with anyone. It’s not just about the struggle of moving on from Tara and letting herself go to be intimate with Kennedy. It’s about the fact that she’s got a lot of shit to sort out upstairs. She’s got to grow as a person. She’s got to learn her own worth. She’s got to learn to love herself. And then she can love someone else. Even someone like Kennedy, who is just as impulsive, if not more than she is. Is quick to reaction out of feeling uncomfortable. Wanting to have the last word in. Willow is pretty lenient in comparison but she’s still someone who wants it her way. She’s still someone who wants to dominate.

Willow needs to expand on her self-awareness. Even in the scene where she had to confront Spike about Buffy’s whereabouts, she’s pretty oblivious to how she sounds to him in lying to him about it. She doesn’t realize that he is not believing a word of it and that’s because, unlike her, Spike is very self-aware. Especially now that he has a soul. He is aware of his reactions and emotions being a reactive and emotional being himself. And they no longer parallel each other like they did in Season 6.

Don’t get me wrong. Willow is a very human - and therefore relatable - character… but she is still one of the most questionable characters in the show. I might be able to read her for filth but most people won’t be because her “innocent” act is convincing. And she might have learned that actions have risks and consequences coming back from the tail-spin of her lowest moment, but she’s still mentally and emotionally unstable. She’s still someone that is chaotic and not in control of her immense power. And I feel like if she even steps one toe out of line with Kennedy, she’ll regret it. The question is whether the girl can handle her being so heated herself. Or will she only serve to fan the flames even more? When push comes to shove, will Kennedy be able to quell the fire within? Tara could, you see. Every time the woman was about to burst, Tara could blanket the impact with her kindness and empathy. She perfectly balanced Willow’s nature with her own nature without really needing to try. The conversation Willow and Kennedy have just before making love would make it seem that Kennedy can too. But I’m not so sure once Willow really has to deal with adversity, she’ll be able to. I’m not so sure a more “assertive” type is the right person for her because I feel like they’re going to exacerbate their worst traits in each other when the going gets tough. They’ll eat each other alive. On the other hand though, Kennedy is much like Faith and Faith would definitely bring out in Willow her fun and liberated side as well as keep her in control and handle her fire. So maybe they could work 🤷‍♀️

It’s true. They did. But then they also knew what to do about her anxiety as well. They knew how to calm her down. Well, at least Tara did. Oz kinda just didn’t say anything. I feel like Kennedy may be too immature for Willow and that’s especially problematic when Willow can be as well.

But I could be very wrong about it at the same time. She could be somebody Willow actually needs. I guess it just depends.