#sweetbitter jake x you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tsintotwo · 2 years ago

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[59 Hours, Part 6. (Part 5 here). Jake (Sweetbitter) x Reader. Guys, this is done. Finished. This last part is a bit long, and expect a bunch of angst for obvious reasons. I legit only had one idea for one scene when I started this, and it turned into a literal novella- a journey I enjoyed. Thank you so much if you’ve been with it thus far, reading and engaging, and let me know if this wrapped up okay for you.]

Hour 39

‘For fuck’s sake.’, mutters Jake, as the apartment plunges into darkness for the fourth time within the hour.

It started happening just when you were finally getting ready to settle down for the night. After being together, both of you had collapsed in place on the floor. The shadow panic from your past was trying to pull you under again, so you held onto Jake. It was more desperate clutching than holding, and you were aware of that, but you couldn’t stop yourself, because what if he pushes me away now, he didn’t even want me, just games, he’s angry with me anyway, he hates me, he’ll shake me off and walk away disgusted right now, please no- but Jake didn’t do any of that. He just hugged you close, catching his breath, slowly relaxing into your arms.

There wasn’t much talking. You cleaned yourselves up a while later. In addition to all the other things, it was already past any sort of reasonable bedtime (for you anyway, you’re sure Jake is the late-nights-late-mornings kinda dude), so you should’ve been exhausted. And you were, but you still felt wound up and restless.

Truth is, as soon as Jake and you'd broken apart, you felt his absence all over you, with your whole being. You didn't want to let go of him. And when you physically did, when you weren’t holding him, touching him, you wanted to feel that you still could- that anytime you reached out, he’d reach back, and it would be as easy as breathing. It’s what you wanted because it’s what you felt- the amount of closeness you felt with him was powerful without rhyme or reason, wreaking havoc within you like the blizzard did in the city yesterday.

But Jake- how did he feel? The fight and then the intimacy – it was tangled, and complicated, and now you didn’t know where you stood with him. And you were scared, so scared, because you were thinking- what if he doesn’t feel the same way?, and then, but what if he does? What then?

You tried to compose yourself as Jake walked back into the bedroom. It didn’t matter that as soon as you saw him again you wanted to go right back into his arms. He deserved space, and maybe you needed distance too. Needed to clear your head, think. Though how any sort of thinking was going to help you anymore, you didn’t know. You were just opening your mouth to tell him you were fine with the couch tonight- will he shrug and go to sleep on his own, will he throw me a look, then pull me into the bed with him- and that’s when the lights went out.

The power lines are glitching. You lit the two candles you got from the Chinese takeout people and were getting ready for a trial like last night- putting on clothes, socks- Jake also doing the same- when the lights came back. Then they went out again ten minutes later. It’s been happening in irregular intervals since. Something must have gone pop in a shower of sparks somewhere, and they’re trying to fix it now.

You guess you could still go to sleep. Turn off the lights, keep all the clothes on, curl into your couch, and when you started feeling so hot it woke you up, you’d know the heating was on and power came back for real (or if you started feeling so cold your feet felt like they were going to fall off, maybe you’d ask Jake to please share his bed and blanket). But Jake sits in his bed, leaning back, one knee up, one stretched, absently pulling on the strings of his hoodie, looking like he has no intention of sleeping tonight. So you sit quietly on the couch too, not knowing what to do.

But just taking some time to relax, just being in your own space and watching Jake be in his has calmed you somewhat. The chaos of your feelings is settling into a deep blue harmony, and the one outstanding note says end, finish, over- this is your last night here, one of your last few hours with Jake. You’ll be gone tomorrow, never see him again. And soon as that happens, you’ll probably dissipate from his mind and memory like the smoke of his cigarettes, because why would he bother to remember you? All you did was try to meddle in business that’s not yours. You’ve known him for two days- what gave you the right to charge him about how he handles his relationships and feelings?

So while you’re still here, maybe you should make sure to set things right. So that if he ever thinks of you, he won’t feel like shoving the thought away the next second- you hope.

‘I said things maybe I shouldn’t have.’, you say, gathering the courage finally. ‘I’m sorry, Jake.’,

‘Are you?’, he is looking out the window, even though it’s just a blotted square and the only thing to see through it is dark gray nothing.

You take a deep breath, ‘I am if I hurt you, made you feel bad with the way I said them. I-I wanted to-‘, you stop. It’s hard for you to make this apology because while you are sorry if you hurt him, you don’t actually think you were wrong about any of the things you said, and you do still think hearing them- maybe in a better way than you told it- was necessary for him.

‘I wanted you to know that talking to people about deep things isn’t so bad, and you gotta do it sometimes. I guess I did that the worst possible way, and I’m sorry.‘

‘Hm’, Jake sits up straighter, leans towards you slightly from his position on the bed, ‘so tell me, exactly how sorry were you when you couldn’t stop moaning and scr-‘

‘Jake!’, you stop him, blushing in the dark, and see him smile in the flickering orange glow of the candles on his bedside table. He’s making jokes, and you’re relieved beyond anything else- he doesn’t hate you. ‘No, I’m not sorry about that part.’, you confess.

He nods slightly, ‘Good.�� Then he sighs, ‘And I do have people that I talk to. So, whatever, you don’t need to worry.’ He doesn’t mean it in a snarky way, he’s just letting you know.

‘You mean Simone.’, you say before you can stop yourself.

‘Yes.’, he’s watching you, wary, and oh, God, oh, God, here you go again.

‘Have you told her about me yet?’, you ask.

He looks away, not answering.

‘Are you going to?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Why? She’s your best friend, best confidante- you just said that.’

‘She doesn’t need to know everything-‘

‘Jake-’ you realize your pulse rate is rising, and try to calm yourself down. If you’re doing this, you aren’t botching it like last time. ‘I get that this- me being here- might not be such a big event for you that you’d want to promote it everywhere. But if you’re talking about what you did for the two days stuck at home, and you don’t even mention me, that’s weird-’

‘Oh, yeah, maybe I’ll mention you. Tell everyone I fucked a random girl in my apartment. They haven’t heard that enough times, I’m sure they’ll be riveted-‘

He’s doing it again, retreating and hitting back, trying to hurt whoever tries to peer too close- but you know what, you’re not backing down this time, you’re not losing your calm, because if he can say his things, you can say yours too, can’t you?

‘Yeah, that’s what you’ll say. But you won’t say how you liked it when I cooked for you or how nice that conversation was, you won’t say that you had me in your bed but not for sex- you found peace with me holding you, you won’t say how you felt when I touched and kissed every inch of you and it wasn’t just because I wanted your body, or how you felt when you did the same to me. You won’t say how easy it is to talk to me or even to be with me in silence when you’re not pulling away. You won’t say any of that, to anyone, and not to Simone.’

You can hear Jake’s breathing from here, can make out his chest rising and falling with the effort of it. Then a sudden harsh glare blinds both of you for a moment- power is back again.

As you both blink, adjusting to the light, you take deep breaths. Where did your resolve go- that you wouldn’t do this? Jake has lived his life without you this far and he will for the rest of it, where do you, a two-day stranger- figure into this? Just because he makes you feel things you haven’t in a long while, or ever, you can’t hope it’s the same for him. Nothing that happened in this apartment was meant to last, was it? How you feel- just push it down, bury it under, and go on to your real life, because this is what you do- the sensible thing.

But is it sensible to ignore what’s right in front of you, what you can clearly see- that however he feels about you, it’s not nothing, that you have an effect on him just as he has one on you? Is it sensible to try spending the rest of your life forgetting a person and regretting how you could have tried- if not to have them, then to have them be in a place they deserve to be?

And you’re not you in this apartment, you’re someone else. You’re reckless. You don’t calculate, don’t make the best plans. You rush in headfirst, you fall dizzyingly, you defy, you hope. So what if you didn’t give up just yet, even if you don’t know what it is that you’re trying to save? What if you wanted more, even if it meant you have to fight tooth-and-claws for it? Maybe there's nothing to gain, but you've got nothing to lose.

You go and sit on the foot of Jake’s bed. Talking to people is your job, and while survey questionnaires might be the same for everyone you talk to, the exact way of asking the questions is up to you. Everyone responds to a different style, and with Jake, you have to take every bit of care you can.

‘Jake’, you are calm and steady, imploring softly, ‘I’m just trying to understand, please. Just a few simple questions that I have- would you answer? It’s okay if you don’t, but please try. When you said you had the idea for a business, did you tell Simone right away?’

The pause is long enough that you think he won’t answer. But then he says, ‘No. I told her when I wanted to sell the house. She needed to know…’

‘Okay. And you were telling me about how you don’t like to visit home, but she insists that you go?’

‘It’s not fair for her to go alone either. It’s our house, if she’s going-‘

‘What would she do if she found you like I found you last night? Bad trip?’, you hold your breath, this is a touchy one. But Jake answers like he doesn’t have to think, ‘Take care of me, then call me a fucking idiot for swallowing that stuff alone at home’. He wasn’t alone, but you guess he means not in a group or having a party.

‘So she’d judge you for it?’, you ask.

Jake frowns, ‘It’s not judging, we can say that stuff to each other. Whatever.’

‘And if the whole thing was reversed? You found her in her apartment, alone, having a bad trip? Would you call her a fucking idiot?’

‘Wh- no! She’s not an idiot, if she did something like that, that’d mean something was seriously messed up-‘

‘So she is not an idiot, but you are, for the same thing? Jake, is that what you believe?’

Jake’s face crumples in confusion and annoyance. ‘Stop talking.’, he says, holding up a hand, ‘Turning around my words- you don’t even know Simone-‘

‘No, I don’t!’, you interrupt, ‘And that’s why I’m asking. And, completely based on what you’ve told me here’s what I now know- she chose most of your workplaces. She chooses when you visit the cape. She judges your decisions. And when you told her you’d start a new thing for yourself, she wasn’t happy, excited, or encouraging, she was just sad. And that made you give it up. Jake, there’s a… power imbalance here. Her terms always matter more than yours.’

‘Will you shut the fuck up?’, Jake slides off the bed so quickly, you almost miss it. ‘Jesus!’, he’s shouting at you now, only his voice gets deeper instead of higher, so the sound is like an animal growling. ‘What is wrong with you? Simone looks out for me, and you’d twist that like-‘

‘I’m sorry!’, your voice is rising to keep up with his volume, but you still try to keep it steady, ‘I get it! If someone I’ve known for two days started talking trash about someone I’ve known and loved my whole life, I wouldn’t trust them either. I swear I’m not trying to come between you two. I- you told me you both only had each other growing up, and of course you care about each other. It’s just, you two are different, so over the years you learned how to stay no matter what, and she learned how to not let go no matter what-‘

‘She was the only one there!’, Jake’s eyes are burning. He looks at you, but you feel like he’s seeing something that’s not even here. ‘That whole day, looking for mom, not even- no one even looking at first, because who knew where the fuck she decided to hole up today- and then looking, everyone, me waiting for her, crying myself to sleep, and then they pull her up from the sea that day’- Some kind of floodgate has opened, and he talks like he’s mad, ‘the house full of police and reporters from some shit local paper and people I haven’t seen once in my life, bringing stupid seafood platters, going ‘Aw, poor kid’, pinching my cheek, then leaving like they’d fucking done something.’ Jake’s eyes are glistening with tears, and you feel your eyes sting too. The pain is so raw in the air now, still. ‘My dad didn’t even know where I was half the time- Simone found me, she gave me cookies, took me in her house, played with me.’

The energy that’s always so coiled within Jake is pouring out now, uncontrolled, and he pants, hands flailing, feet shifting, ‘And, and the kids at school- where’s your mommy, Jake? Where’s mommy?- Teachers looking at me like I was some fucking alien they didn’t know how to talk to-‘

He’s moving away as he talks, and you stand up, taking steps toward him. ‘-My dad drinking all day every day, disappearing to who knows where then coming back just to fucking beat me up, I was fucking glad when he didn’t come back-‘

‘Jake-‘, you whisper, your heart breaking for him.

‘And I was all alone, no one wanted me, who would? Only Simone, she’s the only one who gives a shit-‘, he’s walking backwards, ‘So don’t fucking tell me I don’t need her. You don’t know -‘

‘Jake!’, you’re trying to stand in front of him, but he keeps moving away, ‘Listen to me-‘

‘No! Just how much more of this bullshit do you have left? ‘Cause-‘

‘Just listen-‘

‘WHY?’, he roars, ‘Who the fuck are you?’ And you don’t know what comes over you, but in two steps you’re almost onto him, and using all your strength, you push him back to the wall that you both were nearing, your hands on his chest. He’s shaking, and you are too. Your entire inside feels like it’s burning up in hot, agonizing flames and with a sinking feeling you think this- this is what we become-I don’t make him better, we both make each other worse- but no. No. You won’t give into that dynamic, that thought, you won’t scream, won’t lose it, won’t be toxic. You will tell him what you want to, that much you’ll do. And then you’ll let go- of him, of it, of everything.

Jake’s eyes blaze. He's just shocked enough that he hasn't shaken you off, shoved you away yet, but he will, and you have to start before that.

‘Jake.’, you gulp in as much air as you can, ‘I’m nobody. No one. I’m just a random girl. But I have a story for you. I’ll tell that story now. You don’t have to do anything but listen.’ You take one second to gather your thoughts. ‘On my fourteenth birthday, my mom sat me down and told me how proud she was of me. Dad had left, and things were tough, but I had been so good. Such a big girl already, always doing my homework, helping with my siblings, never a complaint, always by her side when she needed me. And then she told me she’d need more help.’

Jake is listening, good, ‘She was picking up another job, and I would need to babysit more, and do more chores, and I would, wouldn’t I, I was her best girl! She hugged me, braided my hair all nice, sent me to bed with the sweetest forehead kiss. And seven years later, when I was twenty one, I realized no one in the world actually gives a single fuck about me.’

You take a shaky breath, ‘It was right after I finally managed to leave my ex, breaking into millions of pieces inside even though I knew he was terrible to me. I came home at night, and it was like a cemetery, even with three people in it. My sister was 15, up in her room with her phone, texting boys she’d never tell me about because I was too strict, I tried to control everything. My brother was 11, asleep, and I was too old to feel like a sister to him, he was afraid of me- and I don’t blame him, I had been cross and impatient with him so many times. And my mom- she was in one of her depressive episodes, more and more every month, she hadn’t gone to work for three days, locked herself in her room. No one had cooked anything, no one ever did when I didn’t. No leftover for me in the fridge that I’d hoped would be there, no one to talk to. This was the emptiness I was afraid of, that made me take so long to break it off with that fucker, that if I let go of that one thing, there would be nothing for me. There wasn’t, not a single person who had a single thought to spare for me, and you know what I realized? I only had myself to blame.’

It's harder for you to talk now, and you have to make an effort to keep your voice from shaking, ‘At fourteen, I got stuck being my mom’s ‘best girl’. I didn’t have time to hang out with friends, I didn’t have time for the boys who liked me- there was one who swore he was in love with me in senior year, and I broke his heart in front of his friends when I told him I wouldn’t go to prom with him. I didn’t have time. I worked jobs, I did household chores, I took care of my siblings, and I felt it was all worth it when mom looked at me in that way, smiled that smile at me- letting me know how much of a relief it is that she could count on me, that I was there, telling me and anyone she met that I was the best daughter in the whole world. It didn’t matter dad left, and my sister and brother felt more like jobs than siblings- I wasn’t unloved, mom loved me so much, so, so much. I didn’t notice it dry up over the years, I didn’t see that she started taking everything I did for granted, I didn’t see when everyone who cared about me, or tried to care about me dropped off from my periphery. I lived for my mother’s smile, and as it became rarer, I became more desperate, tried to do more, blamed it all on her depression, but at twenty one, I realized all that’s left was me, all alone.’

You swallow, feeling tears run down your cheek. You have never told anyone all this. Jake is like a stone statue, listening to you, ‘We do that, Jake.’, you say, wiping your face, ‘We get stuck. We think the one person who loved us at fourteen is still the only one who’d care about us at forty, and we put all our coins on that bet, becoming what they wanted us to become. Sometimes it’s true, sometimes you need them, and they need you, but sometimes, it’s all you, blind, going around in a circle.’

You take your hands off Jake’s body, stepping back. ‘You were right, I don’t know Simone. But I know we all are some kind of broken. She must be too, she’s dealing with that like she knows how, and maybe that’s how you get stuck, you both do.’

You’re fully clothed still, you realize, but the power has been back for a while now, and it’s hot. You take off your coat, feeling so tired, suddenly. You’ve been talking so much. ‘I’m not trying to save you or anything, Jake- ha, goodness knows I got my hands full with myself- and no one can save anyone anyway. You don’t need saving. You just need to see. You weren’t loved enough when you were a kid, and I’m so sorry about that, but that isn’t a lifelong truth about who you are. Simone was the only one who gave a shit, but she doesn’t have to be the only one now, and you don't have to be the only one for her either. I’m nobody, and you wouldn’t want me anyway, but one day you’ll meet someone and-’, stupid tears welling up again, weren’t you supposed to let go?-‘if you let them, you’ll see just how much they’ll love you. Or maybe you don’t meet just one person- you have beautiful things with multiple people- that can also happen. But you have to let them know and love you, Jake, let them have the whole of you, not a walled-up version, not just a Jake half of Jake-and-Simone. You can’t get stuck being that, trying to live your life around that forever. Just being with you for two days I’ve seen it, and you have to see too- you could be so much more.’

Jake is very still, barely even blinking, and you don’t have anything else to tell him that he needs to hear. You still talk though, you can’t stop, because as pathetic as it is, you never had anyone to say this stuff to before, ‘As for me, I’m still at home taking care of things, but I don’t plan to be doing this forever. Mom- her depression is real, and while what she did to me wasn’t fair, I can’t hate her for that. I’ll get her help. Mental health treatment is so fucking expensive… but I’m trying to talk to some organizations who might help. I can’t keep taking care of her all her life. My siblings are growing up, they won’t need me that much. I’m saving money. I’ll get out one day. And meanwhile, I took on this job because I get to travel. Thought I’d meet people, live a little, even if that means getting stuck in surprise blizzards in crazy cities.’ You try to smile, though your eyes are hazy with tears, ‘Maybe I’ll meet someone too, and they’ll love me, take care of me for a change. I want that. Not gonna lie, kinda forgot what it feels like-‘

Jake’s hand reaches out to grab you behind your neck, then he’s pressing your face onto his chest, and hugging you so tight you think he’s trying to mark your skin, get under it, sink into your bloodstream. You’re sobbing, holding him like he’s the last iceberg while the Titanic sinks behind you, and you think maybe he’s crying too, but you don’t know, you can’t see his face, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because at this moment, right now, you two understand each other, know each other perfectly, without having to exchange a single word.

Hour 42

Huddling under the blanket together, you two have Chinese leftover right out of the boxes like little kids. Crying really takes it out of you, and it’s been hours since you last ate. Jake groans about the possibility of food getting on his bed- he’s a bit of a clean freak- and you counter that you got much worse things on his carpet earlier, and he has to agree. He asks about birth control, serious- he didn’t use protection the last time, and you assure him that based on your cycle, you should be safe, but you’ll take a pill tomorrow anyway.

Then you’re ready for sleep, finally. It’s about to be dawn, but peering out of his window, you can’t see anything, the sky still dark with clouds. The big Chinese place sign is lit, washing his bed with soft yellow light as Jake turns the apartment lights off. He comes up behind you on the bed, you turn, and somehow you end up on your knees opposite each other, foreheads touching.

‘Jake,’, you say, voice tiny.

‘Mm.’, his arms are around your back, pinpricks of light in his eyes, earring glinting.

‘I like you.’, you feel like you’re in fifth grade again, confessing to a boy for the first time, but you didn’t get to do that stuff in fifth grade, did you, so you’ll do it now. Maybe the person is wrong, or maybe it’s the time, or the place, or just the situation, but why think so much when it’s all about to be over anyway? You’ve got enough of living with regrets. ‘You don’t have to-‘, you swallow, ‘You don’t have to say anything. I just thought I’d tell-‘

He stops you with a kiss, his mouth slowly devouring yours, long and tender. When you come up for air after what seems like ages, breathless, foreheads touching again, he murmurs, ‘Move to New York.’

‘You move to my hometown.’, you whisper, challenging him back, ‘I think that pub in the next town over is still looking for a bartender.’

He laughs, shaking silently, and you laugh too, and you both know neither of you are moving. Life is not a movie, and be it your roots or be it shackles, you don’t get to cut off and escape in a day. The best you can hope for is the promise of trying- to no one else, but to yourself.

‘Come to sleep.’, Jake pulls you next to him under the blanket, and when he kisses you on the forehead you think you might cry, but then you’re all snug and tiny in his arms, your face pressed against his chest, breathing him in, and you think how you have this moment, how you’ll always have this moment, no matter what.

Hour 49

You wake up to see Jake ready for going out. He’s wearing what must be their uniform at the restaurant- striped button-up, slacks, and a tie.

‘Nice outfit’, you observe.

‘Shut up’, he mutters, trying to get his hair to behave with a brush. ‘Locker room lock is jammed, apparently.’

‘Pulling it off, though.’, you tell him, ‘I want to tip you already.’

He half-smiles, putting down the brush. ‘I gotta be at work.’, he says, ‘We open at four but lots to do before-‘

‘Okay.’, you don’t need to know any more than the fact that he’s leaving now. ‘When does your shift end?’

‘Eleven.’

You’re not seeing him again. Trying to ignore the snaking pain the thought brings with it, you say, ‘Okay. Give me just fifteen minutes. I’ll get out with you now and wait it out at the airport-‘

He gives you a look, ‘Where do you get these ideas? Your plane is at two in the morning.’

He was listening last evening after all, even though all he’d said was ‘Good.’

‘Yeah, but-‘

He throws you his keys, ‘Just lock up before you leave. Leave the keys with the Chinese people.’

‘What, you know them?’

‘No, but I think I should. Food was great.’

You smile, ‘Yeah.’

Jake has shaved this morning. It makes him look much younger, and softer, and it hurts to look at him. ‘I’ll get out around ten at night.’, you tell him.

He nods, not saying anything.

At the door, you kiss. He tells you he’s running late, then kisses you again. He lets his forehead fall on your shoulder for a few seconds, breathing, arms around your waist, and you keep blinking as you run your hand on the back of his head, letting your fingers wind in his hair, messing it up again.

He doesn’t know where you work, your address except the name of your town. He doesn’t ask for your phone number, your social media handles (which in any case you don’t have that many of). He was never going to call you anyway, and what would he have said if he did? And what would you say back? So you understand, and you don’t ask for his things either.

You two lock eyes for a few moments, and you try to memorize him- the raven black hair messy in the back, the ring of amber around the pupils of his blue eyes, the groove on his nose, the unexpectedly pretty mouth. The earring and the chain, the tattoo on his arm that you can see because he has his sleeves rolled back. All of it is overlaid on memories that you made in the last two days- his smokey kisses and pink cheeks when he came in from the snow and hoarse voice and saying your name over and over- too many memories. They’ll last you a lifetime. They have to.

He puts on his coat and leaves, not looking back.

You walk aimlessly around the apartment. Shower. Gather your things in the backpack. Go to the place downstairs, now open, and get some more Chinese food. Chat with the owner folks again for a few minutes, thanking them for the candles. Come back, browse the internet- parts of the city are still ravaged but things are almost back to normal- it’s NYC after all. You plan your travel and work schedule for the next two days, putting things down in the calendar. You never did get the survey done in the city, you’ll tell them to send someone else for it next time.

Time moves slowly, and you miss Jake like you can’t breathe. Eventually, you pick up the t-shirt he took off before leaving. You take off your own top, slip Jake’s shirt on, and curl up on his side of the bed. ‘Very 90s rom-comey’, you think to yourself, ‘but nobody’s gonna see me anyway.’

Hour 59

You thought about it many times- you could just go to him. Swing by the Union Square Café. Just show up. He’ll be the one mixing drinks behind the bar. Maybe you could order something. Really tip him this time, bring that joke full circle.

But you don’t do it. You won’t. You’ve said your goodbyes. You don’t know how he’ll feel about you showing up unannounced in his workplace. And what’s the point anyway? You’ll just be saying the same goodbyes again.

Your Uber is arriving, so you come downstairs. You look up at the building once, at the window with the big Chinese sign. In that apartment, you were someone else, but now, outside it, you still feel different. Jake gave you something, you can’t put your finger on it. Maybe it’s just the part of you that felt that he gave you back. Day after day, thinking about work, plans, moves, strategies about life, things, other people- all of it blended into an endless muddy brown haze, with only the possibility of a light at the distant end of it, and then you met Jake, and he made you feel- emotions and connection and so many things you can’t even name. He’s hot and smooth and all that, and he and you bonded over trauma maybe, but this is really why you liked him so much. Still do- you think, helplessly trying to push down the clench of hurt inside your chest. God, imagine having to get over someone you were never even with- ooh no, you don’t have to imagine, you’ll be doing that now, for who know how long.

You look at the app. Your Uber car is stuck in traffic. Someone veers their bike into the alley with an alarmingly reckless speed, as if their life depended on it, and then they come to stop in front of you and your heart stops beating. It’s Jake. He’s back.

He lets the bike fall, ‘Thought I’d missed you. My windows are dark and you weren’t at the front door of the building.’, he’s panting, trying to catch his breath.

It occurs to you that this is the side door. You used this one because it’s the one you know.

‘What are you doing here?’, you manage to ask. You’ll have to leave in minutes but just seeing him now your body hums and buzzes like it just received the headiest dose of happiness of your life.

‘Wanted to see you.’, Jake says, and this man of yours, words are not his preference, are they, because then he pins you to the wall, and kisses you on the mouth.

‘Thought you didn’t get off until eleven’, you say in between the kisses, breathless, unbuttoning his coat and slipping your hand inside, sliding it on his chest over his shirt.

‘Oh, I’m not off. Just told Nick to cover me for five minutes and bailed.’ He unzips your coat, and the cold is a shock, but then his hand slips inside your sweater and it’s not cold, it’s getting a bit hot actually- ‘It’s already been twenty minutes.’ He says, kissing you again, ‘Howard’s gonna freak’. He grins against your jaw.

‘Really.’, you’ve been clutching on his collar, and the tie is loose. You like it much better this way, ‘Lots of trouble, just to see me.’

‘You’re worth some trouble.’, he murmurs against your ear, gently sucking on your earlobe.

‘Oh, yeah?’, you shiver- not from the cold.

‘Oh, yeah.’

Your Uber driver is calling you. ‘Just a minute!’, you gasp into your phone as Jake kisses your neck, ‘Just wait there for a couple minutes, please. I’m almost there.’

The car is at the front door, you realize, and now it’s really time to go.

You give Jake one last quick and full kiss on the mouth before peeling off of him. You bend down, and take out a black sharpie from your backpack that landed on the ground. You always have a few of these handy for marking questionnaires.

Jake is watching as you loosen his tie more and unbutton the top buttons of his shirt. You write your phone number along his right collarbone with the sharpie, pushing aside his white tank. You touch your lips there before you button his shirt back up and close the front of his coat for him.

‘A tattoo from me.’, you smile at him, ‘Don’t sweat too much tonight.’

You like that he could though. He could sweat, or could shower, messing up the numbers, or could just forget to copy it. Or he could have it and just choose not to call you. You’d never know which. You like that.

Jake nods, murmurs, ‘Thank you.’

‘I won’t-‘, you have to tell him, ‘I won’t wait for you to call me. But-‘

‘But I will, if I’m feeling too fucked up some time and in need of talking about my feelings.’

‘Or makeup advice.’, you add.

‘Or that,’, he agrees.

You hug him. It’s harder to feel with your heavy jackets, but you can tell he’s hugging you back with all he has.

You won’t cry. You understand how big a deal it is for him to want to call you for talking about real stuff if he ever feels the need. Maybe it’s the heat of the moment and he won’t ever, but he trusts you, and feels that you are close. You’re friends. And friends is the best you could hope for, given everything else.

You kiss his cheek. Say goodbye. He lets you go, taking just a second too long to do it.

You turn back once. You thought you wouldn’t cry, but your eyes are blurry, and through them you can see him, standing there looking back at you. You swallow your stupid sob, and smile through it.

Maybe it’s the end. Maybe it isn’t. You get to find out. And that- that is glorious.

#sweetbitter #jake #jake x reader #jake x you #jake x oc #fanfic #fic #sweetbitter fanfic #tom sturridge

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thepaintedlady00 · 1 year ago

Note

I read nightshade in literally two days AND the withdrawal is KILLING ME 😭😭 I need more of them flirting around the restaurant! AHH WHAT IF THEYRE DOWN A HOSTESS ONE NIGHT AND HOWARD ASKS HER TO HOSTESS AND LENA LOOKS HOT 🥵😫 AHHH

First of all thank you so much! Im happy you're enjoying Nightshade so much! 🥰🥰🥰

Second, I have no clue how you did it, but you literally just guessed what Lena's gonna be doing at work the next chapter 🤣 All I'll say is there will be so much flirting, quick heated glances a ton of drama, Tess vs Simone, and a sprinkle dinkle of Jealous Jake 👀🤭🤫

Again I'm so glad you're enjoying the series! Thank you so much for the ask! 🥰🥺 It means the world!

#fic: nightshade #sweetbitter fanfiction #sweetbitter jake #sweetbitter jake x oc #chapter 16 #idk how you called this but ya did! 😂

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melancholypancakes · 2 years ago

Text

Jake’s angry waitress S/O

The waiting reference with naomi

https://youtu.be/-AycxwF6GzI

If Jake had an angry waitress S/O would be ✨PERFECTION✨

Warning: mentions of curse words/bad words

*Jake showing the new intern around*

Jake: that’s the machine where you put the food and drinks order in, so basically it-

*Y/n walks in angry*

Y/n: I hate this fucking place sometimes man, y’know. I mean what the fuck. Do we need four more people at this time and day man?

Y/n: Look at this place, it’s fucking DEAD! I swear Howard needs to clean the SHIT. out of his fucking brain sometimes. Fucking asshole.

*Y/n looks at the intern*

Y/n: What are you looking at fuck-wad.

*Y/n leaves*

Jake: that was Y/n she’s been working Wayy too long. She nice though

*intern smiles*

Jake: when she’s drunk

*Intern frowns and concern*

(...)

*Y/n impatiently waiting for her tickets while Howard looking for them during rush hour frantically*

Howard: Hey guys, which one of these is medium-rare?

*Not less than 5 minutes pass by*

*Y/n screams*

Y/n: GODDAMNIT!!!!!

*Y/n forcefully grabs her tickets*

Y/n: Please. Let me. Do. IT.

(..)

Y/n: Lily.

Lily: Yeah?

Y/n: something bad. happens when you become a manager. You put on your fucking tie and you get your fucking little manager card and you think you’re so fucking cool just because you write the schedule and get to tell us what to fucking do when in reality you know you’re not even worth the fucking BULLSHIT-

Lily: Woah. Y/n calm down!

Lily: Relax...Woman.

*Y/n smokes*

(...)

Tanya: Scott, Ariel, I just sat you.

Scott: Oh shit. what do we got?

Tanya: Well, yours look cool they look like businesspeople.

Ariel: What about mine?

Tanya: I don’t know they don’t speak English.

Y/n: Foreigners?!

Tanya: I’m sorry!

Ariel: Are you mad at me?

Tanya: No, I swear I’m going by the rotation.

Y/n: I. FUCKING. HATE. FOREIGNERS.

*Tanya leaves*

Y/n: It’s such bullshit. Like they don’t know how to tip. Oh, they know. Oh yeah, they fucking know!

(...)

*Y/n cracks her neck and forces a friendly smile*

Y/n: So, is there anything I get you folks this evening~

*Y/n picks up the plates*

*Customer 1 tries to say no*

Customer 2: I think I would like a hot fudge sundae~

Y/n: Oh! mhm! mhm! that does sound good!

*Y/n giggles*

Y/n: I’ll be back with that for you!

*Y/n turns around and walks away frowning angrily*

*Y/n puts dishes away*

Y/n: Like That bitch needs to be eating desserts anyway.

Sasha: Y/n. You know if you ever want a counselor in anger management or...alcoholism.

Sasha: I’d be more than glad to do it for you.

Y/n: you do that for me?...

*Sasha nods*

Y/n: Thank you, I really appreciate it but I think I rather you just WASH THE FUCKING DISHES AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!

*Y/n walks away*

Y/n: FUCKING PSYCHO BABBLE BULLSHIT ASSHOLE!

(...)

*Y/n making hot fudge sundae and mumbling*

Y/n: you want your fucking sundae bitch come and suck it I hate her. I HATE HER.

*Y/n grabs Reddi whip cream can and pours but very little comes out*

Y/N: ?!

*Y/n throws Reddi whip cream can away*

*Y/n grabs another Reddi whip cream can and pours but very little comes out again*

Y/n: Fucking Simone and Jake!

(...)

Y/n: Where the hell is it?!

*Y/n slams her hand on the counter*

Y/n: It’s been over half a fucking hour!

Chef: I Told you it’ll be out in a minute! Now get out of my face or I’ll lose your ticket!

*Intern taps Y/n shoulder*

*Y/n turns around angry*

Y/n: WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?! GET BACK IN THE FUCKING TRAINING ROOM YOU ASS-COCK!

*Intern backs off and goes to the training room*

*Y/n walks off*

Y/n: GODDAMNIT! I HATE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE I HATE THEM! TWENTY MINUTES FOR TWO MEDIUM RARE STEAKS THIS IS BULLSHIT!

*Y/n walks up out of the kitchen to the customers mumbling to herself*

Y/n: What the hell, they need to get rid of every one of these lousy cock suckers-

*Y/n puts on a friendly fake smile*

Y/n: So~ how is everything?

#the waiting #the waiting is killing me #the waiting reference #curse words #bad words #curse slurs #jake sweetbitter x reader #sweetbitter #Jake sweetbitter x Angry! waitress reader #sweetbitter fanfic #the waiting movie #I highly suggest you watch the movie 🎥 it’s worth your time trust me #the waiting Naomi #sweetbitter fanfic idea

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ursulaismymiddlename · 2 years ago

Text

Am I allowed to comment on this again? Idc, gonna do it anyways

WHY DID I READ THIS AGAIN??? Oh, right, because it's amazing and I'm fucking feral for Jake, thanks a damn lot LISA

For a moment your eyes meet and there’s the glint of adoration alight in his gaze, and you both barely manage to share a laugh with each other when Jake’s mouth crashes on yours again. Hungry and devouring, with little finesse but enough to swallow the pathetic sounds you make.

It hardly even lasts - quickly reverts to harsh panting as he fucks you harder. The shelving at your back rattles unsteadily, something else falls to the floor. But where typically you might fret over it, now your mind is only fervent bliss, reeling each time he fills you completely with a satisfying stretch. He knows how to hit just right and it shows in the quake of your thighs, the steady rise of pleasure blooming in the depths of your gut. You think he can make you come like this alone, tell him as much with a begging whisper at his lips.

He moves then - your own resolve keeps your thighs locked around his waist - lifting a hand to clasp your jaw with his thumb toying at your lips. The other joins it with altogether different purpose - his middle and index fingers prod at the seam and you open. Let the digits slip along your tongue. His eyes narrow at the sight, and when your hollowed cheeks eagerly suck, his breath hitches in his throat. His hips stutter sharply and off rhythm, as if the supple motion nearly finishes him on the spot.

I wanted to talk about this section... The whole fic is phenomenal, like the emotions and relatability, the interactions between you and Jake are just perfect.

But I want to focus on this section because ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL about it!

Every time I read it, I'm left breathless. It's too much to paraphrase, so I had to just snip the clip wholesale because MY GOD

It's so evocative; I can see it playing out in my mind's eye.

The descriptions of what you're feeling during this are palpable, but so too is the knowledge that Jake is just as taken by you. You show it amazingly with every hitch of breath, every silent step of the dance that brings you both to the storage room.

It's a quickie, sure, but there's no less depth of emotion because of that. Absolutely gorgeous 💞💞💞

I want to live in this moment forever

With Compliments | Jake x FReader

18+ Only; Smut; Quickie both literally and figuratively. Holidays do me in so here’s a thing in which a certain hot bartender helps you cope; Established relationship.

Words: 2.3k

Link to AO3

In retrospect, if there was one silver lining to the evening, at least it was discovering this new brand of coping mechanism. Even if a total lapse in rationale could be blamed; patience all but out the window mere moments after arriving at the restaurant on a goddamn holiday. Your family was unbearable, constantly bickering, superficial. So passive aggressively judgemental that you’d gone as far as keeping them in the dark over the fact that you actually waitressed here.

What luck they decided to splurge on an outing to the fine dining location on your one rare day off rather than settle for the traditional turkey dinner at home on Long Island.

The rapid rise in volume between patrons and the inlaws and the cousins and their children - made you wince, and the second glass of wine was barely doing much to help.

Yet just as you take the last sip, a third drink is set in front of you. You raise a brow at the flaming old fashioned and glance up to see Will with his usual boyish smile.

“With compliments.”

All the staff know the truth of course. Thankfully they keep the secret quiet, even if the bartender is a little less subtle.

Keep reading

#jake (sweetbitter) fic #jake sweetbitter #sweetbitter #jake (sweetbitter) x reader #lisa my love!#you are amazing at this!#i'm so glad you've been sharing!#I'm so proud of you!#tom sturridge

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soutcftime · 1 year ago

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Boyfriend - Jake (sweetbitter) x Reader.

SUMMARY: Congratulations! You get a boyfriend. But how Jake would feel about that? It supposed you are not a thing so he shouldn't be mad, right?... Right?

NOTES: This was inspired by AI! Jake. Thank you AI! Jake, you made my night.

RANTING: E

WARNING: age gap (young reader), walking red flag Jake, jealous Jake, this is, again, very questionable. Smut written by Asexuals ™

"Jake"

You were just starting your shift when you approach to him. You were the new girl for a while, and of course, you fell into his charms.

Honestly, it was very out of yourself doing that. You hate the one night shit. And you were absolutely tired of it. No more bullshit to your life.

So, you decided, you were going to give a chance to the beautiful rugby lad from your university. He was sweet and nice, and really good playing rugby. And, better than anything, your father approved him. It was all you need to accept being his girlfriend.

No more casual encounters, no more sex in a bathroom, nor in the back of an ugly bar. No. More. Jake.

"Hm?" Jake doesn't even look at you, he seems very concentrate on cutting the lemons.

"I have to tell you something" you don't even know why do you say it like that. Like it's something really important and you need to have all his attention.

Perhaps Ari was right and you were nothing but an attention whore. Damn.

"What is it?" he glances at you. A curious glance.

"I have a boyfriend"

He blinks at you for a moment and then burst out a laugh.

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to be sad now or...?" he shakes his head, walking away from you. He had to attend the rest of the bar.

You feel your cheeks burning, an horrible feeling climbing your whole body. Humiliation.

Yeah, well. Maybe you deserved it. Why would Jake even care about it?

You sigh in resignation. Better focus on the job.

The job by his side. The whole night.

Now, why did you never listen to your dad? “bartending is shit, (Y/n). Get a real job.” Fucking old man was right.

"Can I know why did you tell me that?" you were cleaning the cups to put it on its place when he approached. You shrugged.

"Jesus Christ, Jake. I only told you that to make it clear that we cannot continue... you know..."

"Fuckin?" he finishes your sentence with a smirk.

You nod.

"Well, I don't care if you have 5 boyfriends right now. I'm still gonna ask you to come home with me tonight" he rests on the bar. His stupid smirk there on his lips.

You frown, who did he think you were?

"I'm going to say no, Jake. I'm being serious about this" he chuckles at your statement.

"Just for tonight, babe. You're not cheating if no one knows, right?" he raise his hand to touch slightly your chin. Just a little touch.

There was no way you are thinking about the proposal. No way, the rugby lad was decent. He likes you and you like him back. Stop it.

Well...

"It's still cheating if you and I know the truth, Jake" you arch your eyebrows, trying to prove your point.

Jake chuckles softly, dropping his arm at his side with a sigh.

"Alright, then. If you're so faithful to your boyfriend, just give me a kiss" you blink twice.

"Jake, I'm not--" you shut, just looking at him for a moment. "I won't..." you can't keep talking, so you just sigh and kiss his cheek briefly. "There. Happy now?"

Jake smiles, tilting his head to look at you properly.

"Good girl. Now..." he grabs your hand gently, caressing it with his thumb. "Come with me, your boyfriend will never know anything." he take a step closer, looking at you with his stupid puppy eyes.

"You are insufferable, Jake" you say instead. But you don't say an explicit no.

Jake takes it as a win.

"Yup, and you love it. Right?" he lets go your hand. A winning smile on his lips.

"I don't" but of course, you were lying. That was kinda fun, cause you were terrible at lying too.

"Yeah, you do. Stop deny it." he laughs softly, taking his steps back to his place of work. "Come with me tonight. Not to the club, my home" he propose.

And of course, you are going to say no. Because you have a boyfriend and you like him... right?

"Fucking hell" you say instead, nodding at his proposal.

Jake's flat is absolutely comfortable, and you really like it. The soft music on the back, the books, the posters. All of it. Even the plants that Jake loves.

You hate yourself for being there, anyway. You shouldn't. It was wrong. And you were going to break some poor boy heart just because you can't stay away from... him.

And even so, you accept the cup of wine that Jake gives to you. It's weirdly domestic. Too odd.

"So..." he says, lighting a cigarette for himself as he sits besides you on the couch. He left the cup rest on the little table in front of you. "I don't talk to you for a day and you get yourself a boyfriend? That's interesting" he smirk, holding the cigarette between his lips.

"Fuck off" you roll your eyes. It hasn't been a day, it has been a whole month.

He went to somewhere with Simone for vacations and didn't call at all. But that was okay, because you and him weren't dating. You were focusing on your studies and the job on the restaurant. That was all.

"Tell me about him, please. I'm dying to know" he release the smoke with a smirk. You can hear the sarcastic tone on his voice, so you don't answer to that.

"What's his name?" he insist, resting his foots on the table too.

You sigh. "His name is..."

Jake snores, loudly. Then he release the smoke again. Right into your face.

"Jesus, Jake. You're five" you finish your drink with one gulp.

"Oh, please. I don't care about your boyfriend at all, (Y/n). I only care about you and the fact that suddenly you decided to date a man" another man, Jake thought.

"I think I remember you said you don't care about me at all the last time we've been together" you raise your eyebrows, amused. "What? Are you going to tell me you're jealous now?" you tease him, turning around to face him.

He frowns, letting the cigarette rest on the table. "Yeah. I'm jealous as hell" he turns to face you. Two big hands grabbing your waist and pinning you into the couch. "I don't want anyone to have you, specially your stupid boyfriend. You should be mine"

He was talking dead serious, looking at your eyes with nothing but annoyance. He means it.

"No, you just angry because someone face you to say no. That's why." you remove his hands easily, pushing him away as you move to stand up. " You can't accept the idea of a simple no. Well let me tell you something, Jake. I'm not like the others girls that fall with your charm. Or your angry face. Or your puppy eyes"

Jake's angry face changes to an amused one. Raised eyebrow and smirk. You look at him for a moment, confused.

"Is that so?" he says, his voice sounding roughly and deep. "If you're so devoted to him, what are you doing here?" he asks, raising one hand to grab your hip and drag your body to his lap.

And you do.

Now, you were sitting peacefully in his lap like the good girl you were.

"Why would you be here if isn't because you want this as much as I want it? I want you to be mine" he was already kissing your neck as he continue talking.

Fuck, you really shouldn't.

But Jake touches you so gently, caressing your back until his fingers find the clasp of your brassier and release your boobs free under your shirt.

"And, honestly, I would miss your little cunt around my cock" you whimper with the statement, melting with his kisses and his caresses.

"It's not cheating if no one knows, right?" Jake laughs on your ear, kissing your cheek softly. You were repeating his words.

"No" he says.

His thumb pinches your nipple, while squeezing your other boob.

And, in a blink, you were riding his dick like your life depends on it. It was absolutely pornish the way your bodies together sound. How every jump make the sofa grind and how sweet Jake moans your name.

"You are so tight for me, baby. So wet, so perfect" he bites your neck and you whimper louder.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck" you can barely speak, too concentrate in following the tickles in your belly. "Ah, ah~" you close your eyes at the feeling, too close. Just a bit longer and you'll cum.

Jake hold the grip on your thighs so hard that you can actually feel his fingers marking you. But you can also feel his teeth biting you and his tongue caressing your nipples.

"Jake! Jake, Jake I--" you shiver and open your eyes to reach for his gaze. His pretty blue eyes lost in the black iris of lust. "Ah, please. Please, please. I'm-- I-" you almost cry out your moans.

"Yes, baby. Cum for me, what are you waiting?" Jake sighs, roughly. Holding you tightly as your orgasm strike. "Oh, fuck. You're so good. You feel great, all warm and wet for me" he grabs your jaw gently, reaching for a kiss. His lips were soft, but somehow he makes the kiss nasty, biting your lower lip and allowing his tongue into your mouth.

It leaves you breathless. It was too much.

And so, his fingers goes down and touch slightly your clit. You squirm, your whole body feels electrified by his touch alone. He's very much hard inside you yet, so you make an effort to keep going.

"Jake" you call, tears already falling down on your cheeks. "Jake, you're so good. C'mon, cum with me" your voice is cracked, overwhelmed by the feeling.

You shut your eyes again when the second orgasm hit you, and you can also feel the warm seed of Jake filling you. You sob, hiding your face on the crock of his neck for a moment.

It feels good. It feels right. Like you belong there.

"I came inside" he says, voice deeply and fucked.

"Yeah, I can feel you" you keep your eyes closed while he caress your back gently. If you stay like that, you'll fall asleep.

"Let me clean you"

"No, just... just a moment" you can feel yourself already dripping, but he feels so good like that. His soft cock inside you like its the normal place to be.

"Petty" he says, mocking. He kiss your forehead, moving you softly to rest on the couch.

And you just stay there while he reaches for wet towels to clean you.

"Look, your dropping all of it on my couch" he's joking, of course. But yet, you put your fingers down and grab all the fluid you can before putting it inside you again.

You see his dick twitch with the scene.

"You're a menace, d'you know that?" he laughs, cleaning the rest of you, and himself.

"Am I?" you ask, looking at him with innocent eyes. He grabs his t-shirt from the floor and gives it to you.

"Let's go to bed, shall we?" his impossible smile back on his face.

You squint. "I should go home already"

Jake looks down at you, then at the clock above. "It's fucking three am. And you're full of me inside you, I'm not letting you go" he grabs you gently and carry you as a princess to his room.

"You really wanted to say that I was full of you, right?" you ask when he let you on bed. He glances at you, smiling.

"Yes"

#jake sweetbitter #jake sweetbitter x reader #jake x reader #sweetbitter #jake sweetbitter imagine #tom sturridge #smut

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rey-jake-therapist · 1 year ago

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MY FANFICTIONS

IT'S SO COLD

BBC SHERLOCK FANFIC

SUMMARY

Picture yourself as Molly Hooper, head over heels for a man who barely notices you and when he does, it's generally to demean you. And yet you're a brilliant pathologist, a kickass woman who's carved her space in a male-dominated world. You're also the woman who helped said man fake his own death and kept his secret for two years straight. You're the woman who got engaged to a man who looked like him because no other man could ever compete. You're the woman who knows him better than he knows himself. You, Molly Hooper, are the woman Sherlock respects and loves in his own way, he just does a shitty job at showing it.

Written as a contribution to Sherlock Challenge November 2023. Prompt: 'cold'.

RATING: general audiences

PAIRINGS: Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper

STATUS: complete

LINK AO3 ⬇️

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF US (DAY 18: CHANGE)

THE SANDMAN FANFIC

SUMMARY

In the wake of Morpheus’ death, Johanna Constantine, Hob Gadling meet in a dream at the Green Dragon Tavern, where Nuala the Fairy works. They discuss the influence that Morpheus had on their lives and the love they had for him, as well as their remorses. Despite being unable to change himself, he changed them, mostly for the best.

Written as a contribution to Sandtober2023.

RATING: general audiences

PAIRINGS: references to past Morphanna, Dreamling, Sandflower and beginning of... Nualanna? (Johanna/Nuala)

TW: several mentions of a major character's death (Morpheus)

STATUS: complete

LINK AO3

BITTER SWEET LULLABY (DAY 4: FAE)

THE SANDMAN FANFIC

SUMMARY

Once upon a time, eons before Titiana became queen of Faery, Dream of the Endless -called Lord Shaper by the Fair Folk-, fell in love with a princess fae named Eleanora. While Dream has just learned that Fiddler's Green, the heart of the Dreaming, fled for the Waking World, he finds comfort in his memory of a happy moment he shared one day with the fae in the fields of Fiddler's Green, as well as the lullaby she sang to her.

Written as a contribution to Sandtober2023.

RATING: general audiences

TW: none

STATUS: complete

LINK AO3

RISE AND SHINE

THE SANDMAN/SWEETBITTER CROSSOVER

SUMMARY

It's just a short, sad but also sweet story where Jake is lost in a nightmare where he's haunted by old ghosts of his, memories of his past he needs to leave behind to finally move on. Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, is here to guide him through the darkness into the light so he can rise, and shine.

RATING: general audience

TW: references to suicide, abuse and grooming

STATUS: complete

Link AO3

LOST SOULS

A SWEETBITTER FANFICTION

SUMMARY

On Valentine's Day, Mina arrived to New York City from Los Angeles with a bag full of trauma and a half empty suitcase for only baggage. She flew to the Big Apple to see a friend and take a break from a toxic relationship, and hoped to leave a painful past that kept haunting her behind her.

Nothing went as planned, but as Mina began to think that going so far away from home was a mistake, she met a handsome stranger in a nightclub. Jake was nice, fun, incredibly sexy and apparently available. What could possibly go wrong?

RATING: explicit

PAIRING: Jake x OC

TW: references to suicide, rape, abuse, grooming and cheating

STATUS: work in progress

AO3 link

SOUNDTRACK ON SPOTIFY

THE SANDMAN META

Overture: is Dream the only one to remember?

Am I an idiot or... (Dream and food)

Could Jessamy be the first Vortex?

Hob Gadling's forgotten wives and girlfriends

Fandom and misogyny (Endless Nights spoilers)

BBC SHERLOCK META

The lying detective: self-hatred and acceptance of abuse

#masterlist #the sandman #sweetbitter #Sherlock bbc #dream of the endless #jake x oc #fanfiction #AO3 #sweetbitter jake #lord morpheus #mind the tags #tom sturridge #Spotify #Dream x oc #sherlock meta #Sherlock fanfiction #Sherlock x oc #Sherlolly

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nyx0090 · 2 months ago

Text

Sweetbitter: Golden Ice

Sweetbitter [Jake x Reader/OC]

Word Count: 11.053 (and pretty proud of it).

TW: +18, smut, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (f recieving), soft!Jake. Use of Y/N. Fem!Reader.

A/n: I think I made Jake's character more soft than actually intended but I like him like this too. I'm very proud of this work even if some parts don't exactly convince me bc it's the first work I manage to finish in years so.

It is edited but if still there are mistakes please excuse them. I hope you'll like it.

Spotify Playlist some of the songs are actually in the series and some, I think, fit the vibes of the series. These inspired this whole fic so if someone wants to listen to them while reading feel free.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At a certain point every night seems the same: get changed, get the food, smile and be polite, change again and go home. But sometimes this normality, this routine, helps especially having lived many years running around cause mom and dad always had to get transferred for work and I never got to settle as I wanted. Never had friends that lasted more than a couple of weeks, maybe a month before I never heard from them again. Not being able to find secret spots or hang out with people my age, I was always present at important events and meeting.

“This is going to be useful for your future, you’ll have time for friends, maybe” this is what mom and dad always told me.

Stability is what I always longed for and now I got it, sometimes it's boring and sometimes it simply reminds me that this is what I wanted after running left and right in all America. After not being able to actually know someone.

To keep things interesting, I sang at a place, a wonderful jazz bar, the Golden Ice, once in a while, when they needed. I sang there all night, got a few free drinks, got changed and went back home. Getting away from the drama at the restaurant because I felt that the more I stayed away, the better.

Tonight was no different. I had to work at the restaurant and then grab my things and go sing for a while in a place that seemed a completely different world, and it kind of was compared to Home Bar. Or the restaurant.

I only had one problem, that little problem being a 5'9-man, black hair and many tattoos. Jake got "interest" (if it can be called that seeing who Jake is), apparently, in following me some nights when he probably was bored, had no one to get laid with and didn't want to Home Bar.

As if I wouldn’t notice.

I did not know the reason but all I knew is that his timing in ‘stalking’ was annoyingly impeccable. I mean I only went to two places: the jazz bar and a sort of library open 24/7 in which you enter only with a pass that is given to clients who are interested, grab a book and then decide if you stay there or want to go home. It’s like being in an office but you get to read and have a good time. And Jake always, always managed to follow me when I went to the bar.

Tonight, I had to sing right after the shift at the restaurant and had to fly there almost. And I knew, knowing my luck, that he would have followed me. Maybe I was being too sneaky and that just piqued his curiosity. All I knew was that he was annoying at how well he picked the nights I wanted to keep most secret.

I didn't want anyone at the restaurant to know about me singing. Don’t get me wrong it’s not because its them: I love that group of crazy coworkers I have but I considered it nothing special and I preferred no one to know anyway. That included Jake.

《So... how is the night going?》 Jake asked, cleaning a few glasses and starting drinks.

《As always: many clients, some bullshit and I can't wait to go home.》 I answered opening bottles and replacing some caps for Nicky and him to use later.

He shrugged and a small smirk lifted his lips.

《What about yours?》 I said in return placing the bottles back where they should be.

《Nothing much either. Will you come to Home Bar later?》 he suddenly asked.

《No, I'll just go home. I want to lay down and sleep so bad.》 I yawned to get the point across and hope he would go to Home Bar and not follow me.

He nodded before going back to prepare some drinks while I finished up the bottles.

Once finished I went to get some ice seeing they were running low on it. While I was getting that I already planned the path I had to walk to the bar and pick the one that would have a bar allow me to go out the back and get rid of Jake.

I went back upstairs and left the ice to Jake before going to the kitchen and go on with the same routine, bringing plates and being polite.

Jake's eyes kept following me through the night. I kind of understood what he wanted from me: he wanted a good fuck. Just like he did with everyone else. But I was not willing to give that. He might be handsome and attractive, but a pretty face was not enough for me.

Talking might have gotten him more far, but he didn't seem the type.

I didn't mind the ‘friendship’ we developed tho: joking, teasing sometimes and helping each other. Talking a bit during shifts and passing some alcohol under the table. Terrible jokes and playful insults. I liked that, it felt right for us.

At the end of the night, I changed in the outfit I would have worn to the jazz bar and covered it with my long black coat. October temperatures did not forgive already, and it was the perfect excuse. Once I was all covered up and ready to go, I headed downstairs.

《Bye guys! Have fun at Home Bar!》 I chirped, waving my way to the door.

《You're not coming with us? Come on!》 Ari said, already a bit tipsy as always.

《Sorry dear, I'm super tired tonight and don't have the right outfit anyway.》 I answered going up to her and hugging her.

Then I was off. After a few blocks I heard Jake following me.

'Perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect. How does he have such timing?' I thought. I started to walk faster towards my only saving way out of here.

When I entered the chaotic bar I spotted a dear friend of mine, Michelle, and she brought me to the back door without questions.

Jake could not follow me to the back from inside the bar and even if he got outside, he would have lost some time before catching up, giving me time to slip away to work.

As I went, I kept thinking how to approach him about it. It would be fun to see his face when I would ask why does he follow me. I smiled to myself before turning into an alley and going in through the back.

《There you are! I was worried something happened to you!》 came Ambra, a sweet 30 years old small woman, hugging me and cupping my face in her hands turning it left and right before hugging me again. She would have sung with me tonight as many other nights and she was already almost finished with her outfit and make-up.

《Had to get rid of my little friend.》 I shrugged as we went to my changing room to get make-up on.

《Why don't you just tell him if he seems so interested?》 Ambra questioned as I sat down in the chair.

《Cause I don't want people at work to know. I don't have to tell them anything - I defended – and besides he could just ask me instead of following me around like a creep.》 I concluded and closed my eyes as she applied my eye make-up. Then she went away to get the last things ready too and I finished by myself. Some time was saved having worn my dress before.

I wore another pair of shoes and just went off to the stage.

When we started to sing the small crowd of the bar started to cheer and we started to just have fun too. I was always a little nervous before a performance, no matter how many times I did it. And to be able to sing along side Ambra whom had the most beautiful voice was always a pleasure and an honor.

She was way more experienced than me for sure and yet never looked down on me for it. She was like a second mom to me or a big sister.

When the night was finished, and I got changed in a more comfortable outfit I went to the bar to bid goodnight to everyone and found my usual drink waiting for me as a thank you from the owner who work as a bartender there.

《Thank you Rick!》 I called out. He gave me a thumbs up as a response before finishing up with cleaning. When I was done, I got my things, said goodbye again and went home.

I got to a bus stop and waited for mine. While waiting and to make the time pass a bit faster, I put on my old earphones.

Soon the bright lights of the bus announced its arrival, I hopped on, ready for a pretty long ride. Usually from the restaurant I could go home walking, it was a bit long, but I could manage. From here was straight off too long and I did not had the energy.

The next day went pretty well. Running errands in the morning, taking a good long bath and then getting ready to work as always.

When I came in Jake was almost finished changing and I started to take off my jacket. I could see a mile away he wanted to ask me something, continuously looking behind his shoulder. But he couldn’t, I didn’t know nothing for him, and I said I always went home after work so what would there be to ask?

I had to stifle a giggle at how frustrated he looked when he went out. To go this much just so he could get laid seemed a bit much even for him. There were plenty of girls who he could hook up with.

‘Maybe he was just bored.’

I shrugged it off before finishing up and getting out. Luckly tonight I did not have to go anywhere so a good book and a cozy tea at home were awaiting me. Or maybe I could join humanity and go to Home Bar with the others.

I helped with putting down the tables, getting some saltshakers and the flowers watered to be sure they looked fresher.

Then the restaurant opened, and I got the coats to put away. It was probably the most relaxing task because it was a quiet space, but it always lasted way too little.

《Hey could you back up?》 Tess asked me, three plates already in hand. I immediately went to her and helped bringing the plates to the table.

《Have I seen you somewhere?》 one of the man at the table asked looking at me. Of course, he knew me being a fucking regular at the other bar.

'Could one thing go right?'

《I'm afraid you are mistaking me for someone else, sir.》 I politely answered, Tess eyes scrutinizing me.

I just kept looking at the men and when the silence became too long, I added 《Very well, enjoy your meal!》

We went away from the table. I had no time for this tonight, and I knew Tess was going to ask questions.

We weren't even into the kitchen when she started bombarding me

《Are you sure he was wrong or just didn't want to tell in front of me?》 she teased.

《No Tess, I don't know him. It must have been a genuine mistake.》 I said stopping at the bar and asking for a shot of rum.

《Oh, come on! He is pretty handsome too. What are you hiding?》 she kept teasing as I chugged down the liquid to get the edge off. It was going to be a stressful night then.

《Nothing Tess, I seriously don't know him! Never seen him in my life.》 I said getting back to work. Jake was nowhere to be found. Better.

In no time the whole kitchen and not knew about this slip up and I was done for. Everyone kept asking questions.

《He seems good for you. You know there is nothing bad with it right? You can tell us.》 Ari teased and Heather agreed.

《What you bitches talking about?》 came in Sasha who, extraordinarily, still did not know.

《Y/N's new man at table 14.》 Ari said with a smirk.

《Oh, my God. He is not my man, ok? I don't know him! He just has mistaken me for someone else!》

I said on the verge of asking the third or fourth rum of the night. And we were only halfway through the shift. A hand went down my face, exhausted.

Maybe no humanity or Home Bar tonight.

When I went out of the kitchen, I spotted Nicky and asked another shot of rum.

《You sure you're okay?》 he asked a bit worried about my alcohol consumption tonight. Usually I went to one, two shots three if it was a rough night but almost coming up to four or five was new for him.

《Yeah, simply everyone being absolutely exhausting about a man who mistook me for someone else.》 I answered 'honestly' drinking fast before Howard could catch me.

Right at that time the table I helped Tess earlier started to get up and towards us, giving me the number for the coat closet.

《Are you sure we haven't met before?》 he asked one more time taking his coat from my hands and wearing it.

《Absolutely positive sir.》 I said with a smile.

When they were gone, and I turned around Jake was watching me.

I wanted to crash my head in the nearest wall, now he is not going to let me be, ever.

《Do you know him?》 he asked as he cleaned some more glasses.

《Nope, never seen him. He got a crab thinking I was someone he knew.》

And with that I went away back to the kitchen. He kept boring holes for the rest of the night into my back and I was this close to punch him in the face.

Definitely no humanity or Home Bar.

‘Fuck it, I'm going home to tea and books.’

I thought as I got changed, fighting with the last three buttons of my shirt with my trembling hands.

《Oh, Lord》 I groaned still trying. ‘Why, why did I drink so much?’ At the end I managed to drink around seven shots. I was not drunk but definitely tipsy if I could not undo three damn buttons. I gave up and went to the small sink to splash a bit of water on my face to freshen up. It kind of worked, my hands were still trembling but at least I got out of my stirpes.

When I finished changing, Jake entered the room. I said nothing and went out with my much more comfortable long skirt and blouse on and my bag and coat in hand.

《I’m going home, bye guys.》 I announced near the door not getting anything anymore to drink. A chorus of ‘bye’s’ went with me out the door. I put on my long black, comfy coat and I was off to the library.

I took out my pass key at the door, swiped it and went in. I took a deep breath enjoy the smell of books and some aromatic candle still lingering after a whole day of burning.

The relaxing music underneath was very nice and helped get cozy. I went with some old novel, The Picture of Dorian Grey. I’ve read it many times now, but it was not the night to engage in some new reading, not with this much alcohol in me and so little concentration.

When I got up to go home and bring the book with me it was around 2 am so I called it a day. I left a little note for Martina for the next morning and went off. It was starting to really get cold in New York, so I wore my coat and made my way through an enormous crowd of people for it to be 2 am and somewhere I got a glimpse of Jake.

‘Nah, I must be wrong. I need to sleep’ but when I looked again there he was.

I tried my best to look away fast and concentrate to the task at hand – going home – as much as I could so he would not notice me but right at that time he turned around and made eye contact with me.

Now, he definitely saw me there.

‘Oh Lord. Really?’ I just ignored him and went on to my house to get that sleep I needed after maybe a few more chapters.

Needless to say, it was not a few more chapters. I finished the book and when I placed it on the side my alarm read 5.30 in the morning, and it should have went off at 7.

With a big headache I got up at 2 pm and got done what I could before taking a much-needed shower and preparing for work.

Once there I greeted everyone before going to the locker room and sitting on the sofa not before wetting my handkerchief and placing it over my eyes.

‘Damn headache. Never again am I reading that late or drinking that much.’

《Are you dead or what?》 Jake asked.

《For now I just am.》 I answered tiredly, my headache was not going to give me peace for the whole night.

I jolted when he closed his locker went away. I took off the wet thing from my eyes and changed too.

《Why were you out so late last night?》 he asked as I was going through the flowers. I smiled, expecting that question. I turned around, placed my hands on the counter separating us and looked him dead in the eyes.

《Why did you followed me like a creep two nights ago? And many nights before that too?》 he was stunned to say the least, his mouth hanging open like a fish. I took my mop bar and went away.

For the rest of the night we didn’t talk, just said coworker things. ‘We are running low on ice’, ‘Could you bring up a bottle Riesling’ and stuff like that.

At least he didn’t have that stupid grin on tonight, I, on the other hand, smiled like an idiot all night for this little success.

《You coming to Home Bar tonight?》 Heather asked as I sat down to take a Negroni. I looked down at my outfit – the

usual long skirt with a sweater this time – and back up at her.

《Don’t think I’m dressed appropriately for Home Bar but sure, why not?》 I said and cheers raised.

《Boring white woman is coming with us tonight.》 Sasha added above the chaos. I laughed, looking at them getting up and I chugged down what was left of my drink.

《It’s incredible how you never once skip asking me to come with you. Am I really that boring for your standards?》 I playfully inquired. Ari placed an arm around my shoulders, thinking about it.

《Maybe – she concluded – I mean you are probably super fun but we have never seen that side of you.》 she added.

《That hurt my feeling - I answered feigning hurt - when have I ever gave you guys the impression I'm not fun.》 I said. Ari and Heather looked at me up and down before answering.

《By the way you dress, for example.》 they said together.

《It's comfortable, you should try it.》 I retorted playfully.

《You never come to Home Bar or any other party, during shifts drink you take always the same thing and then you are off to sleep. Not even my grandma is that boring.》 Ari kept going on, the amused tone telling me she didn't mind one bit.

《Wow - I said - well I prefer I glass of wine at home rather than get waisted every night.》 I retorted again.

When we reached Home Bar everyone scattered everywhere: to dance, to drink, to do drugs and to fuck. I went to the bartender and asked again for a Negroni and a bottle of water. I got that to the table where Jake and Will were sitting and also Heather, but she got up and went away a couple of minutes prior.

I took a seat and started to drink looking at people dancing, drinking, making out, many probably high on drugs or drunk but they looked like they were enjoying themselves, a lot.

《I'm going to the bathroom.》 Will announced.

An awkward silence settled between me and Jake.

《Are you not asking me anymore questions now?》 I said still not looking at him. He kept silent so I turned around and looked at him.

《How did you find me out?》 he asked with confidence.

《Well it was very easy actually and if you are a stalker in your free time let me tell you: you suck, a lot. Change hobby, really.》 I said playfully. A small chuckle left his lips, and my eyes fell there for a second before going back to anywhere in the room.

《Why did you follow me tho? You could have asked instead of being a creep and scared the shit out of me the first time. I was about to call the police.》 I told him, more seriously this time.

《I got curious. Why did you never come with us to Home Bar or parties? Why you never stayed more than needed during shift drinks?》 he said. I looked at him not entirely convinced.

《Are you sure you simply weren't bored and decided to do something stupid?》 I offered. I was not really buying the curiosity thing. Knowing Jake there could have been a thousands more reasons but this one was the less convincing.

He shrugged looking around a bit too before asking again 《Would you have let me come with you if I asked?》 completely ignoring my question.

《No.》

《Why not?》

《What I do after work doesn't necessarily have to be your or anyone else's business. I can keep private some things.》 I snapped at him a bit.

《So you did know that man.》 he inquired. I looked at him shocked. If I didn't punch him tonight I would never again even try.

《Is this what all of this is about?》 I asked skeptically.

He didn't answer and I took a sip of my drink.

《Will you ever bring me with you where ever it is you go?》 he asked again.

《I don't understand why are you so curious. What if I do a simple second job as a waitress? There is nothing interesting about it.》 I said.

《You didn't answer my question.》 I looked at him up and down and remained silent. He says that? After all he deliberately didn't answer to me?

《From whom this comes - I retorted keeping the glass near my lips - and maybe. I don't take strangers around with me like it's nothing.》 I offered sincerely. He simply nodded. Sometime after Will came back from wherever he actually went, and I went to bid goodnight to all those I could find and headed back home hoping for the best.

For the next few days, we still talked very little. After that the ice started to crack and we started to talk a bit more, I went once more to Home Bar and we had fun talking and assuming about the people around us.

I had some more nights at Rick’s, and he didn’t follow which I took as a success.

《So, how are you doing?》 I asked him one night before the opening time while I was putting away glasses and bottles.

《I should be the one asking you.》 he answered cleaning some shakers and strainers.

I eyed him suspiciously, not understanding if it was an insult of some sorts.

《Have you slept one hour in… I don’t know, a week? You look like a panda.》 he answered not looking at me.

I was behind some hours of sleep having done some more shifts and staying up late more nights than I should have

reading but I didn’t think it showed that much.

《Oh. I thought I covered it enough.》 I whispered more to myself than him and he didn’t say anything else.

He didn't say anything after that.

During the shift I was a bit like a zombie, but I managed taking a pause when I felt on the verge of sleeping where I was standing. Like now, I was wetting my handkerchief to pass it on my face in hope it would wake me up when a locker was closed behind me and I jumped on the spot. When I turned around, I saw Jake and Simone.

《Are you alright?》 the blonde asked me.

《Yes, yes I'm fine. Running low on sleep.》 I said showing her the wet little thing in my hands. I went to sit down and placed it on my forehead and eyes.

《Could one of you stay here with me? I need just five minutes but wouldn't want to actually fall asleep.》 I asked hoping one of them could stay.

《Yes, of course.》 Simone answered me. I sighed and relaxed on the couch. Right when I did that, I felt sleep clawing my mind and body.

‘Yep, tonight no reading, no nothing. Just sleep.’

At a certain point someone lifted the wet cloth off my eyes, and I whined at the low light disturbing me. A whine left my lips as I tried to place it back down.

《Come on, you said five minutes and they are up.》 a deep voice talked from beside me. I cracked an eye open and scoffed, getting up and going to the sink to wash my face.

《Are you sure you can keep going for three more hours like this?》 he asked looking at me and getting up too.

《I've been through it all this time, might as well finish it. Three hours are nothing really.》 I said. It would have been three more hours, but they will be done sooner that I can count so no need to get cut now.

《Everyone is tired, that does not entitle me to nothing. Besides I'm the reason for my own sleepiness so, no one to blame but oneself.》I added, sighing and squeezing the wet cloth before placing it in my locker to try and dry it off.

I took a deep breath before turning around and going off with Jake on my heel.

As expected, the three hours went on slow but not unbearably so and when I got finally changed, I flew out the restaurant bidding a quick goodnight.

When my apartment lock clicked behind me, I went immediately to the shower, taking a very quick one, and just went to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was sound asleep.

The next day I woke up very late probably around 12, didn’t really looked at the clock and wandered around my apartment for my kitchen and some water. Decided to put on some music to wake up a bit and get some chores done before getting a better shower than last night and preparing for work. Tonight, I was excited since after it I had my day off and could not wait for it. I would be staying at home, or I would have gone to the library while the night I was going to Rick’s bar to talk a bit and see if he had some plans for me already for the next few weeks.

So, I spent the few hours I had left putting away some book and decided to make a run to the library to give back some books I had stacked at home for a while and that I finished.

《And this is the last one.》 I said to Martina with an apologetic tone. In total I had to return 20 books and when she saw me with a full bag, she was definitely not ready for this.

《Thank God. I thought they would never finish.》 she said sighing then placed the book in a basket behind her giving me the possibility to admire her beautiful ginger locks cascading on her back. She was a young girl, like me and she was breathtakingly beautiful, her mind sharp as a razor and sly as a fox. She was a great friend I made not too long after coming to New York.

《Sorry, been coming in mostly during the night.》 I explained to her folding my bag and placing it into another one.

《No wonder you look like shit.》 Ah, always so honest.

《Not the first time I hear it this week.》 I answered ready to go off to the restaurant.

《Must be true then. But seriously, take care.》 she said at the end.

《Will try. You too.》 I said and went off.

Right outside the restaurant Sasha and Ari were smoking something and offered me too, to which I declined. Ari scoffed and rolled her eyes while Sasha kept smoking, minding his businesses.

I then entered and went to change. As always, I gave a look at the flowers and rearranged them a bit if needed.

As always, it was a pretty good night, not many assholes, a lot of tips. Me and Jake talked a bit, joked and had our fun. Until a client decided to be very rude with me and Heather, in front of Howard. I kept my mouth shut as tightly as I could knowing he would have taken care of everything when he sent me and Heather back to kitchen.

《I have no words! Did you hear what he said to us? In front of Howard no less – exclaimed her. I looked at her and just went on with my work. – Are not gonna say anything?》

《I’m trying to say nothing cause if I start I’m going out of here and kicking that idiot out myself.》 I answered. To be that stupid and not be able to see it by yourself it’s embarrassing. I took a deep breath and just went on with the night, we hadn’t much more, and I wanted to finish.

Now everything was going bad: the way I got down the steps, the song that was on, the way someone called me over for something. I felt on edge and a bath was going to remedy that a bit, I hoped.

As soon as the shift ended, I got changed at light speed, bid goodnight to who was there and went home. I almost didn’t even take off my shoes before going to the bathroom and start the water.

The steam raising and filling the bathroom was calming by itself. When I got in, I melted and for a second, I thought I would fallen asleep in there. In my mind popped up again the idiot of tonight and it was so disrespectful, I’m happy Howard was there and dealt with everything because that was simply unacceptable.

I shrugged it off and didn’t let it ruin my hot bath.

Then it was time for bed, so I got out of the tub, applied my skincare and went to bed without much else, just wanted to sleep it off.

- Three Months Later -

I liked so much winter in New York. It was cold and allowed me to wear longer skirts and my heavy black coat and I felt amazing wearing those.

In the past few weeks, me and Jake talked a lot, we hanged out. Not much, really, just a coffee here and there, going for breakfast or the shitty diners he loved so much.

After that I thought a lot, pondering on if I should have brought him with me to Rick’s.

It was clear that his invitations were made to not be a stranger anymore and even if I just scratched the surface. Then I decided I would have brought him along.

Hence why I wrote the bar name and the address to the bar in the morning, looking at that piece of paper and giving it my very last thoughts. I still had time since he knew nothing. He really tried and I saw that even if he came along it would not have been so bad. When it was time to go out, I took that little note I put extra care in writing for some silly motive and went to the restaurant.

I got changed quickly and placed the note in the pocket of my pants. I would have given that to him at some point of the shift or before going home.

‘Maybe.’

《Don’t make me regret this. 》I whispered to him as I handed the small piece of paper. He looked intrigued and just slipped it in his pocket, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and went on with work, feeling vaguely nervous. It was the first time ever someone heard me sing, well, someone I knew. At home my family knew of this, and I always liked to sing for them but here in New York I had no one close to me to that point and so no one knew. Only Howard because sometimes I needed to go out early and he had to know, so it was for strictly professional reasons.

When I got changed into the outfit for the night to save time when I could my hands were a bit sweaty.

‘Oh, come on. I sing in front of so many people every night and I’m getting nervous about a pretty boy. This is ridiculous.’

《Good night everyone!》 I said taking my shot of rum fast since I already had my coat on and closed.

《Night!》 everyone shouted as I got out. I went out fast no seeing Jake.

‘I mean maybe he would not have come.’

I stopped for a second thinking about the fact that he could already have something else to do or simply did not accept my invitation. So, I was getting nervous for nothing. It left a slightly bitter taste on my tongue after all the hanging out for him to not come.

I shrugged it off. It was silly, was it not me this morning who still had doubts about asking him? It’s only fair if he doesn’t come.

I started to walk since I had not time to lose. After a few blocks I noticed someone following me and a silly smile made its way on my face. I stopped to let him catch up to me.

《I already informed you how you are absolutely shit in stalking right?》 I asked in a playful tone.

《Well this time I have an invitation.》 he said smirking, waiving into my face the same note I gave him a couple of hours ago.

《And didn’t I say to not make me regret it?》 I said glaring at him. I took advantage to check how he was dressed: he had a nice white shirt on, no tie, with the first couple of button undone. Black pants and a nice pair of shoes.

《You did not came in tonight dressed like this. Where did you get these clothes?》 I asked while looking at the red light waiting for it to turn green and also at the display of my phone to be sure I was on time.

《Kept them in the locker hoping you would invite me.》 he answered honestly and at that moment the light turned green not giving me the possibility to look at him as all the people started to move, pushing me into doing the same.

Soon enough, we were at the bar. He went in from the front and I got in from the back. As soon as the door of our changing room closed the warm voice of Ambra accompanied me, asking me how work was.

《Good. We have a special guest tonight.》 I said while applying mascara.

She stopped everything she was doing and turned to look at me since special guest might have meat anything really.

When I didn’t turn around to look at her and simply went on its like something clicked.

《Is it the boy?》 she asked, gasping excitedly.

《It is him.》 I answered happy to see her this exited. She squealed like a puppy toy and went into hugging me and jumping around.

《You know I just invited him here to hear me sing right? Nothing else.》 I told her applying the blush and going to grab my lipstick. She looked at me up and down, stopping her celebration all together.

《Famous last words.》 she coughed before going to sit back down. I rolled my eyes and gave her that finishing upvmy make up and ccurling my hair before putting them up. When I went to get up and went to the door, she stopped me.

《Oh no, no, no. You are not wearing that. – she said looking at my dress. It was old and worn out, the rich brown color a bit faded and I used it since I started to work here. It was a piece of my mum I always kept with me, but I also understood it looked like its age – I have the perfect dress for you.》 she said going through her own wardrobe to take out a deep purple dress. It had a layer of black at the end of the skirt were the rich purple silk-like fabric turned chiffon. And it added a lot of dimension. It was a bit longer than my usual dress, this one practically at the floor. The back was cut very low, no straps and a bold neckline too. I undid my hair leaving them down and moving the line to one side, letting them brush behind my back and all over one of my shoulder, the other one free.

《It’s a while I wanted to give you this dress. After a couple of kids my body has definitely changed, and I gained some weight too – she added with a giggle. She was still slaying, and she knew – so I’m giving it to you. I wouldn’t fit into it anymore even if I tired.》 she reassured me even before I spoke.

《Are you sure? It’s so beautiful. I mean you could get it fitted.》 I kept looking at the mirror absolutely mesmerized by the sight of myself: I looked absolutely beautiful.

《It would cost me more than buying another dress. Beside that was never really my color anyway.》 she said finishing herself up too. She was wearing a black dress with some blue accents, her short black hair curled, framing her sweet face.

And then we were off to the stage to sing.

The sweet, beautiful notes of Wake Up Alone started to play introduced by Ambra. Then I took on. We kept on switching during the song, the ladies doing the back voices doing a great job as always.

We sang for the whole night while I tried to spot Jake in the bar and not finding him. Disappointment made its way in me and took a hold of my heart, but I tried to not think about it. I was beautiful, the night was beautiful and I was singing. Nothing else counted right now.

When we were done with the live singing, I felt light so me and Ambra went laughing at the bar and asked Rick for something to drink. Ambra was telling me something, but I was only half listening, looking for Jake around the place.

《Good evening.》 Jakes voice called from behind us. We both turned around, and I looked at him, honestly a bit surprised he was still here since I could not make him out in the small, crowded place.

《Hey. – I could feel Ambra shift beside me wanting to say something but refraining – so, what do you think? As interesting as you thought it would be?》 I asked while leaning back a bit on the counter behind me, taking a sip of my drink. He took a small step forward, checking me out.

《I understand why you never said this to anybody, for sure – he answered – and if I have to be honest it’s more interesting than I expected.》 he concluded.

《I’m happy you liked it. It goes without saying that I would prefer if this stayed between me and you, yes?》 I told him finishing my drink. He simply nodded looking around, absorbing the place.

《In how much does your shift ends?》 he raised him voice a bit, the music starting now a bit loud to talk normally.

《Not much more actually but before – I said getting up and turning to Ambra, offering her a dance – I promised this beautiful lady a dance. If it gets too late or you get bored feel free to go home whenever you want.》 I told him. Then a silly smile was on my face as Ambra followed me hand in hand in the crowd to dance a bit.

《Is that him?》 she exclaimed. I nodded and spun her around.

《Girl. That is a fine young man over there.》 she said and I agreed with her. Jake was handsome for sure, and he did show interest in this 《I hope he will not get distant now that he knows.》 I sighed. She gave me a smile and a few pats on my back. Then we had to hop back on stage for a bit more live singing.

《Thank you as always ladies. Great night tonight too.》 Rick complimented as me and Ambra went to say goodbye.

《Thank you too Rick. It’s a pleasure to sing in such a place.》 Ambra said and I agreed. After that we bid our goodnights and went out.

Jake was waiting for me outside and when Ambra spotted him she elbowed me not so delicately to which I glared at her and she looked at me apologetically, giving me a big hug and winking at me. I sighed at that and said bye to her too.

《You have a great voice by the way.》 he said at a certain point while we were walking.

《Thank you. Been singing since I was a child, so I brought that with me. Something familiar to rely on – I confessed to him – and where exactly are we going?》 I asked noticing we were going back to the restaurant.

《Home?》 he obviously stated.

《No shit Sherlock, I’m going to mine and you to yours.》 I stated. Once we were in front of it, we stopped.

《Goodnight then.》 he said. I nodded and bid him goodnight one last time. I turned around and took a few steps before turning back again to look at him skeptically to which he looked at me confused.

《Are you going to follow me?》 I asked. He simply smirked saying 《I’ll keep you on your toes.》 turning around and walking away.

A confused smile made its way on my face and after a second, I walked away back home.

Since that night me and Jake became even more close. We started hanging out even more, going to places that meant more for both of us, talking a bit of ourselves, not much, especially him but he tried. He just needed someone to talk to, he needed to be listened, and I just did that.

One night he took me to a bar he loved, pretty secluded and that didn’t have a lot of people, but the atmosphere was nice and calming. The place was beautiful too: an old bar that had a very French style in dark colors and a lot of wood, its smell still lingering in the air along with other sweet scents and faint alcohol. The drinks were amazing, and we had a great time talking about our interests, what we liked and what we didn’t like. The books we read, the artists we admire and our favorite drinks while we were there. Then he accompanied me back home where we parted.

In return, and since we both liked to read a lot from what I gathered, I showed him the library. We went there after a rough night and took a book each, sitting down while I made some tea for the both of us and started reading, appreciating each other’s company. When it started to get very late, we took the books and went out talking about what we read these past hours.

Soon I realized that I didn’t mind passing my time with him and a bit later I accepted I was starting to have feelings for him. Once we used our day off to get a backpack to go to Cold Spring, a beautiful town I wanted to visit for a while, and it was not even that far from New York.

That morning, we took a train at 5, so early that it had very few people in it, granting silence to which both me and Jake fell asleep listening to music. The train ride was about an hour, so we didn’t get that much rest but was better than nothing.

We were both dressed comfortably, him with trousers and a sweater and I opted for a more appropriate outfit for walking lot too with a pair of pants and a jumper. I also choose a different coat than the one I wore in the city, opting for a knee-length dark grey one that kept me very warm. When we got off the first thing we did was to find a bar in which we could have breakfast.

The day was about going around as much as possible, so we visited the many churches and appreciated the beauty of them taking many photos, me with my sad phone camera while Jake had his camera with him and took most certainly much better photos than me.

《Will you send me the photos you took later?》 I asked while he was taking another. He nodded and we went on.

It was almost lunch time, so we looked for a parc that was not too crowded and then started to eat in silence. I loved the smell of nature and the bird singing.

While we were still in the town, we also went to a bookstore and grabbed a souvenir: I bought a couple of books, a notebook and a bookmark and he got only the books.

Then it was time to go to the lake. We took a long stroll in the small forest surrounding it and my mind went to much warmer weather where I could come here again and take a bath, or even rent an apartment for a couple of days to disconnect from the city. If he wanted, he could come too, a bit of company would not be that bad. The stroll took longer than anticipated and when we went back in town to look for a nice place to have dinner it was already dark even if it was only around 6 pm.

The temperature dropped drastically, and we opted for a place where we could stay as long as possible to get warm. Between a chat and a warm meal, it was already 9 so we decided to go for the last walk and look at some of the decorative light still hanging from Christmas celebrations.

The streets were more crowded than during the day, so Jake offered me his arm which I took happily, and we walked some more.

Soon it became colder and darker, so we choose to call it a day and go take the train. It was around 10:30 when we took our and we should have been back by midnight.

《Did you had fun today?》 I asked tiredly, yawning right after and getting comfortable in my seat.

《Yes it was very nice, and I took good pictures too.》 he answered going through said photos a bit.

《Mhm, I’m glad.》 I whispered before I dozed off but couldn’t fall asleep. I kept going from asleep to waking up a bit and look around to understand where we were from out of the window.

《Hey, we have to get off.》 a voice called, pulling my arm a bit to get me to wake up. I whined and got a bit more comfortable.

‘Not now that I finally fell asleep…’ another thug made me open my eyes to glare at the source to find Jake. A bit dizzy and confused I got up letting him lead the way, dragging me out with my hand in his.

When we got out of the train cold air surrounded me unexpectedly. I went right away to close my coat better.

Jake dragged me out the station and into the city. Sleep and dizziness didn’t let go of me and noticing it, he slowly walked me home even if I didn’t realize it until I was at my front door and he asked 《Where are your keys?》 to which I looked at him and opened my backpack, muscle memory of where I always put my keys when I had it kicking in.

Jake made me the favor of opening the door of my apartment for me and lightly pushing me in. I took off my coat slowly and then went for my shoes. When I finally got them off, I went for my bed and just let myself fall on it.

I adjusted my body to a more comfortable position and right when I was falling asleep, I heard the door of my apartment close softly.

The next morning, I woke up late. Yesterday was a long day even if I had a lot of fun and it’s been a while since I last made such a trip. When I went to the kitchen a small note was waiting for me on the table. I started to prepare a coffee and then took the small piece of paper.

I left your keys at the entrance.

-Jake

I folded it back and placed it in a stack of notes in my desk. After my coffee I took all the things I brought with me yesterday from the backpack and placed them back where they should be, loading the dishwasher and starting the washing machine.

With some music in the background, I started to read a book, the one I got that night with Jake at the library. The ones I bought yesterday must wait until I finish this one.

And so, between music and books, it was time to go back to work.

《I heard you went out of city yesterday?》 Simone told me while I changed.

《Mm? Oh yeah, wanted to go out of New York for a while now and yesterday was the perfect day to do so.》 I answered nonchalantly, wearing my pants.

A long pause stretched between us. I had nothing else to say really so I just kept quiet but apparently, she wanted to press on.

《And did you went alone?》

《Simone – I called her out with a flat tone – if you already know I did not went alone don’t ask and if it bothers you just tell me.》 I said, buttoning up my stripes.

《It doesn’t bother me, was just asking.》 she replied.

I didn’t understand what the point was if the first thing Jake did was run to her and tell her everything. I liked Simone as long as she didn’t put her nose in my business which happened more often now that me and Jake were hanging out.

And I didn’t like that. But she seemed off, been like this for a while now.

I closed my locker and went out, right in that moment Jake was coming up and I gave him a small smile.

《Thank you for the keys. And the note.》

《No problem.》

And I was off.

The night went on well as expected. It was like I never got a day off and of course I was updated on all the latest gossip by Ari and Sasha.

As always, we laughed a lot, and I felt like the restaurant was more wholesome. So tonight, I smiled more, I was more polite and even warmer with the guests. It felt a bit like home. And under certain lights it was.

《I don’t know why I prefer rum, okay? I just do.》 I said to Jake as I sat on the counter with the drink he just did in hand.

《There has to be some sort of reason. It’s like a drink: you have reasons of why you prefer a certain drink rather than another.》 he said as he poured his own drink.

《Ah! That is not true, in a drink you mix different flavors, so the alcohol is blended in them.》 I corrected him taking a sip of my very well done Negroni. He shrugged and started to drink his own, leaning on the counter next to me.

A long, comfortable silence stretched on as I listened to the music in the background and just swung my feet to the bits of an ending song. When the first notes of Koop Island Blues started, I drank a bit more before getting up and dragging Jake with me.

《Don’t care if you don’t dance. You do now.》 I said taking his hand and placing it on my waist while I placed mine on his shoulder. He smirked before pulling me closer and I felt my cheeks grow warm, butterflies raising in my stomach. And then we started dancing slowly to the song. I looked at him in the eyes for the whole time and I got lost in them. Maybe it was the drink, maybe the nice night at work, maybe something else but for a bit everything disappeared, it was just me and him, dancing and drinking. And it felt good, dreamy. In my life I’ve never felt this close with someone else.

I had nights that felt like a dream, friends by my side as we danced all night, but I never had experienced something so different and almost intimate by just looking at each other, fully clothed, dancing. And we were just dancing, that’s what made it so beautiful. He spun me a couple of times, and when I was back, he pulled me closer, just a bit, his hand going more to the center of my back, and butterflies would rise all over again. And I knew that it could be not right but at the same time it was okay. I cared for him deeply and I trusted him, hopefully he trusted me too. Sometime during the dance, I brought both my hands on his shoulders, and his hand found my waist. He caressed that part before hugging me, never stopping the dance. I hugged him too, sighing in content.

Then he pulled away, kissing my cheek and looking deeply into my eyes, getting slightly closer, his eyes slipping to my lips a few times.

When our mouths touched, we both melted in the contact. After a bit his hands took a hold of my hips before he lifted me to wrap my legs around his waist and walked towards the counter, placing me there so I could sit, never pulling away once. His hands went everywhere, my back, my legs covered by the long, light skirt, my arms and hands which he also kissed before going back to my mouth and deepening the kiss, pulling me impossibly close.

As he pulled away so we could both catch our breath I caressed the nape of his neck, keeping my eyes closed and just relishing in the moment.

A moan got caught in my throat when he kissed me again, slowly this time.

I felt myself becoming wet and hot when I felt his erection press up against me, a whine getting caught in his own throat. He lifted me up again, his mouth moving to my neck too 《Bedroom.》 he whispered in my ear before biting the skin on my neck.

《F-first on the left.》 I answered impatiently. He found it without any problem and before I knew I was laying in my bed while he looked down at me taking his shirt off and unbuckling his belt.

In a moment he was by my side, his pants still on, as he had me on his lap, taking my dress off, slowly sliding off the short sleeves. I was wearing nothing underneath because I was more comfortable like that around the house and I felt self-conscious, my hands going to cover up my chest and my legs closing for how much they could. Jake smiled at me and took my arms kissing them before bringing both over his shoulders and kissing my neck again, going lower this time. When he was at my breast he kissed them, took them in his hands, played with them until I was completely out of breath, running my fingers through his hair.

Before I could realize I was lying again in my bed, his lips on mine before going down again, kissing my neck, my shoulders, my breasts again, my stomach and then jumping to my thighs, starting from the knee before going up, biting softly the skin and sending shivers down my spine. I was panting when he kissed under my stomach again.

A gasp left me when he kissed my clit, licking a long, slow stripe from my entrance and up. His hands went to my hips in the attempt of hold me still.

He unhurriedly increased the pace and when I looked down, he was already looking at me. I moaned before my hand went to his hair trying to steady myself from the pleasure. A low moan came from the back of his throat and my grip tightened.

《J-Jake… Jake, I- you-》 I stuttered but my point got across for he pulled me closer and dove deeper, making me arch my back and moan his name. Soon I came and he kept going through my high, licking me more sensually and sometimes kissing my thighs.

He returned his lips on mine and my neck before he undressed himself of his remaining clothes and kissed me again, lining himself up to my entrance.

《You sure?》 he asked out of breath, grinding himself on me and biting his lip to hold back a moan that came out as a broken gasp.

《Yeah.》 I answered pulling him close to me and kissing him again.

Then his cock sank into me, and I whined into his mouth, my hands pulling his hair. His hips stuttered and he went in too fast making me hold onto him tighter, gasping.

《Sorry.》 he whispered brokenly on my neck going in the last couple of inches left and staying still, waiting for me to adjust. He was definitely big, but the stretch was so good.

His hands caressed my sides while I played with his hair. He was breathing heavily and after a bit of waiting he started to grind into me to which I bit my lip but didn’t stop him. He tentatively pulled out a little only to sink back in, moaning in my ear.

《You feel amazing…》 he praised, his gruff voice making me shiver even before he started to actually move. Not fast, he deliberately pulled out almost all the way to just push in deeper every time.

His mouth kept alternating between biting and kissing lips and sucking on my neck and chest, his hands still on my sides.

He gave me one last kiss before adjusting our bodies so that he could stand up to end of the bed and bringing my legs on his shoulder pushing in hard.

My back arched and my hands gripped the sheets, a long moan leaving my lips. And then he did it again, and again

《Yes! R-right there Jake…》 and his pace went a bit faster, hitting a wonderful spot inside of me that made me see stars. One of his hands went to my collarbone, sliding down to my belly and pressing down.

His pace became more rough, more impatient, his thrusts more erratic and then he bended over me, leaving my legs on his sides to kiss me again.

《Fuck, fuck- you feel so good, so fucking good. C-can I come inside? Please, please, please- fuck. You’re squeezing me so tight… so good, you’re so good- fuck…》 he cursed into my neck. It took a bit for his words to register in my brain.

《C-can I?》 he asked again. And I nodded in a frenzy, feeling myself getting close again.

His fingers then went to rub on my clit while he watched my face contort in pleasure and my body shivering.

《Yes! Yes, please, come inside - you feel so good, so good…》 I moaned, in my mind only him and his body.

After a few more thrusts we both came undone. His arms sneaked around my back to hug me, and I did the same with my arms around his shoulders. His hips grinded a bit more in me before he pulled out. I closed my eyes, completely spent and tired but satisfied. After bit a towel met my thighs and pussy. When Jake cleaned himself too, he climbed on the bed by my side, got under the covers and hugged me, his head on my chest.

《Thank you…》 he whispered.

《Thank you too.》 I answered, kissing his head.

And fell asleep like that.

The next day the first thing I felt was Jake’s body pressed against my back, on hand on my hip and the other on my chest.

I took a deep breath before I relaxed in his hold, pressing myself better against him and relishing in the closeness some more.

When I turned in his embrace, I felt soreness in my whole body and a pleasurable ache between my legs. My arms hugged his naked torso, and I hid my head under his chin, giving his neck a few kisses.

It was a nice feeling, to not wake up alone like every day, wondering and thinking.

After I don’t know how much time I got up, leaving Jake in bed a bit more, and got a simple dress out of my wardrobe. It was a pale blue color, long until half my calves, and had thin straps to keep it on my shoulders. And then I was off to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast.

I decided to put on some music, keeping the volume low to not disturb Jake if he was still sleeping and got started. When I was placing down everything, I felt a pair of hands on my hips and smiled, finishing up the table.

《Morning.》 he whispered in my ear, kissing my neck and shoulders right after. His hands tracing up my sides until under my breasts.

《Good morning.》 I breathed out, leaning my head on his shoulder.

We stayed like this for a bit before we sat down to eat, a comfortable silence fell on us like a blanket and the music still on made for a nice murmur.

《You know… – Jake started as I was sipping on my coffee – I’m starting to cut things off with Simone.》 he confessed. I looked at him confused, what does that mean? Cutting things off with her? How? Why?

《We had been spending a lot of time together and I think it’s best like this… – he went on since I kept silent – also talking to you I started to understand a few things and I think Simone is not a good presence?》 he concluded a little bit more insecure this time. I kept looking at his waiting for him to continue but he didn’t.

《It’s not my place to say what you should do with the relationship you had and still have with her. Whatever it is, I’ll be there with you, okay? If you think she is not a good presence in your life anymore I’ll try to be by your side, as a friend or whatever. I’ll not substitute her.》 Never. I said choosing my words carefully. I offered him a hand that he took and squeezed to which I squeezed back reassuringly. I started to get up

《Come on now, we have to get ready.》

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Thanks to whoever made it to the end, I hope I didn't bore you too much and I would also like to disclaim that under this message there are going to be drawings I personally made for the story. Those are three outfits I very clearly imagined on her: the one when she goes to home bar, the one when she sings and Jake is there too, and the one she wears at the end when she is at home with Jake. If you don't like them please don't freely insult me or my art style.

P.s the aspect of the girls in the drawings are how I imagined the protagonist to look like. This is a Reader x Jake story, I omitted anything that had to do with Readers appearance for this reason, only what she wears is described.

Thanks, bye.

#jake sweetbitter #sweetbitter #jake x reader (sweetbitter)#jake x y/n (sweetbitter)

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endlessbittersweetdreams · 2 years ago

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"Broken & Beautiful"

SUMMARY: One night of comfort leads Jake and a co-worker down the path of discovery, friendship and perhaps something more.

FANDOM: "Sweetbitter," TV series.

PAIRINGS: Jake x Female OC

TIMELINE: Begins shortly after “The Pork Special” (S. 2, E. 1)

STATUS: Complete

SOUNDTRACK: Yes, I finally got around to putting together a mini-soundtrack for this fanfic. You can find it on Spotify.

WARNINGS:

Chapter 1 mentions death, blood and mental trauma. Nothing in great detail. Some foul language here and there.

There will be sexual content, but nothing explicit. It's not a sex manual. But this story is rated "Mature," for a reason. I will mark chapters as needed.

The last few chapters marked "READ WITH CAUTION!" are marked that way for a reason. They contain discussions about a subject that is delicate, and they could trigger people.

❤️‍🔥 = Sexy times ahead! MATURE audiences only!

⚠️ = Trigger warning!

NOTES:

You will notice that I sometimes alter the timeline of certain events that take place in the episodes. I don't do it often, and I hope it doesn't bother you.

Simone is the only person in the TV series whose last name is revealed. Everyone else's last name is a mystery. Because of that, I have picked out a last name for Jake, to be revealed in one of the chapters. I figured that even though he was adopted by the Hughes family, he doesn't use "Hughes," as his last name. It's bad enough that he has anything to do with Simone. I don't want him to share her last name, too.

Thanks to Canva, I was able to create a cover for this story. I also created a picture collage so you can get a basic idea of what Lilah is meant to look like. It's found here.

This series, as well as the short stories that accompany it, can also be found on AO3 and Wattpad.

Butterfly Divider: Firefly Graphics

Chapter 1 - ⚠️

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13 - ❤️‍🔥

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chatper 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24 - ❤️‍🔥

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28 - ❤️‍🔥

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32 - ⚠️

Chapter 33 - ⚠️

Chapter 34 - 💯

Side Stories:

"MISTLETOE" - All Jake and Lilah want to do is spend Christmas together. But thanks to Simone and a snow storm, they may not get their wish. 🎅🏻☃️🎁❄

"LABOR OF LOVE" - Jake and Lilah await the birth of their baby girl.

* Part 1 - Jake and Lilah have an encounter with the last person want to see. ⚠️* Part 2 - Jake and Lilah count down the days to the birth of their child. 🍼🎀

@anastacia-lynn

@mypsychoticlove

@kimmyiewrites

#jake sweetbitter #sweetbitterstarz #jake x oc sweetbitter #tom sturridge sweetbitter #tom sturridge

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writing-fanics · 2 years ago

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Jake (Sweetbitter) x Reader

“why’re you here?” she asked looked at him as she laid in the hospital bed. her newborn daughter lying on her chest.

“I’m sorry for everything.” he said looking at her while he sat in the chair beside her. she rolled her eyes looking down at her baby girl.

Lola looked up at her mother smiling softly. [y/n] smiled softly gently rubbing the top of her head.

Jake looked at his daughter who nine months ago, he wanted nothing to do with. but the moment he saw her in [y/n]’s arms. he was in love seeing the crying bundle of joy.

in the arms of the woman he fell in love with months ago. and seeing her holding their child. he didn’t want his child to go through what he went through growing up.

“I was stupid I shouldn’t of walked out like that,” he said looking at her and she sighed, “We weren’t even in a relationship.” She said looking down at her baby and cooing over her newborn.

“But we have a baby now.” He says and she looks over at him, “What’re you trying to say Jake?”

“I don’t want her to go through the same thing I went through.” He says, looking at her and she raises her left eyebrow.

“She deserves both parents in her life.” He says and she looks at him in shock.

“Okay but I’m still salty about you leaving me. We should at least start off slow.” She says looking at him. Jake walks over towards her and she smiles as she hands him their baby.

She smiled softly watching as Jake took their baby into his arms, and started cooing.

Taglist

@queenshelby

#fanfic #x reader #angst #headcanons #romance #fluff #Jake x reader #jake sweetbitter

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tarotoftheendless · 1 year ago

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Tom Sturridge Discord?

So... why isn't there an everything Tom Sturridge discord? For pics, videos, films, shows, fan art, fanfics, discussion, and just overall gushing over him? Would ya'll be interested in making and setting up a Tom Sturridge discord? Hell, not even just for fanfics, but maybe even roleplaying? Just for fun... Not everyone, that includes me, is very good at fanfic motivation and simply writing back and forth with someone who is pretending to be Tom (knowingly for everyone involved) or a character of his and writing a story back and forth? I guess this is a two part question: Why is there no Tom Sturridge discord? And what about over-all Tom Sturridge role-players; of either Tom and or his characters? I think a fuck ton of us would have fun with something like this. 18+ would be preferred... What do ya'll think?

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tsintotwo · 2 years ago

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[59 Hours, Part 5. (Part 4 here). Jake (Sweetbitter) x Reader. I am obliged to warn you: This is a. Long, b. bit of a rollercoaster ride, c. kinda wild, and d. HELLA smutty/NSFW. Like, I don’t wanna be too dramatic but, um, read at your own risk? Kinda? I guess? (Man, idk what y’all are gonna think.)]

Hour 32

Jake was the one to shower first. After taking yours and stepping out, you find him asleep on the bed. You can’t blame him- last night wasn’t your best sleep, but it sure was hell of a lot longer and better than what he had.

You stretch. In the last thirty hours or so you’ve sat around so much more than you normally would, and much of it in less-than-ideal positions. Your body feels stiff. You think for a second, then you get your headphones from your backpack. You hook them up with your phone's bluetooth, switch on an upbeat playlist from your music library, then walk around Jake’s apartment listening to it. This is common practice for you. You don’t ask for much in terms of entertainment- you don’t have the time or the money. Losing yourself in music is enough for you.

Usually you do this when you’re trying to clear your mind though- calming yourself down, getting through some worry, cataloguing to-do lists in your brain. But right now, you don’t feel like thinking about much- your mind feels airy in a way it hasn’t for a long while. You’re just focusing on the music, and oh, it’s fun- before long your steps are peppy, matching the beats. It’s not dancing, exactly, but it’s also not not dancing.

Then, of course, it turns out that Jake’s sleep was more of a power nap, and he has to see your ridiculous dance-walk, swaying your hip and flailing your arms with the drop of that trap beat as you strut. You don’t hear him because you’re wearing headphones, and you don’t see him until it’s too late and he’s right in front of you. It startles you, and you swear, clutching your chest before you take off the headphones.

He’s raising his eyebrows. ‘Wow,’, he drawls, ‘I didn’t realize I was this good.’

He’s referring to the sex, and you refuse to be embarrassed. ‘Why?’, you say, ‘Feedback hasn’t been nice so far?’

He chuckles, ‘Who needs feedback when you can literally see them do happy dances?’

You realize you’re probably blushing, but you hold your ground, and say, ‘Oh, I see how you’ve been deluding yourself. People just do their own thing, and you assume they must be doing it for you, huh?'

He stares, and suddenly you’re unsure if you’ve hit a nerve. You reach for your phone and switch off the music. ‘I’m joking, Jake. I do feel good.’, you say, ‘And don’t get too big of a head, but that- you- were pretty amazing.’

‘I don’t need your fucking feedback.’, he turns away, ‘What’s there to eat?’

The breath you exhale becomes a sigh, your heart slowly sinking like the airy flakes in it have turned into tiny, sharp pebbles. You should’ve known- some things are too good to last.

Hour 33

‘Dear Valued Customer…’, goes the email. It’s from the Airline, informing you that you have a few hours to transfer your unused ticket for free to a similar flight leaving within the next 48 hours. The two flights tonight aren't options, and only one you manage to find without ridiculous layovers flies out at 2 in the morning the day after tomorrow. You transfer your ticket to that one, the final click bringing a strange emptiness with it. For a while there, you almost forgot the world outside existed. In that world, you aren’t this woman- taking shots, doing sexy dances, wrapping yourself around a guy you’ve known for less than a day, sleeping in his bed. Feeling things- too fast, too much, too soon. You have responsibilities- a job, a family to take care of. What you don’t have is time or space for distractions. Don’t you worry, girl, a voice whispers in your head, you can go right back to your stupid life after this. No one would be bothering to go distract you anyway.

Trying to ignore the hollow feeling that’s creeping up from your stomach, through your chest and inside your throat, you swallow, looking around for Jake. But you can’t see him from here. He was pacing aimlessly around the apartment, he must have settled down at the table, or the old half-broken sofa near it.

Earlier, you two had Chinese food for dinner. There wasn’t much conversation. You both managed to skip lunch today, and while that actually means something for you, you could tell for Jake it’s just whatever. You’ve been noticing his eating pattern (there isn’t one), and when you told him that he should eat more often, he threw you a look. You shut up after that. Maybe he was right to be annoyed, who were you to show concern for him anyway?

He didn’t talk to you afterwards either. He tapped away at his phone, brows furrowed, mouth in a firm pout. Some of his irritation must have been from nicotine withdrawal- you think he finally emptied his cigarette pack this afternoon. What you don’t know is if the rest of it was because of you.

Now you find him on the sofa, drinking. This thing is so much worse than the other furniture in the apartment, and when you’d asked about it earlier, Jake informed you it came with the place, and he just never got around to throwing it away. It doesn’t look comfortable at all, and when you sit down beside him, you’re confirmed- it feels exactly like it looks. You can’t help thinking the only reason Jake would be sitting here is to avoid being near you.

You tell him about your flight. ‘Good.’, is his response. He doesn’t look at you.

You made one stupid joke, and you don’t see how it was worse than all your other stupid jokes. Is that all it takes for this to happen- for Jake to act like none of the connection- intimacy, whatever, something- you had exists anymore? Guilt is an old friend of yours. It comes quiet, whispers to you- you messed up, you ruined everything.

It would’ve worked a couple years ago, too. But you know guilt like the back of your hand, and you’ve been learning to peel off its mask and expose it as the liar that it is. Your dad leaving was not your fault, your remaining family’s dysfunction is not your fault (right?), your relationship burning up in a trash fire was definitely not your fault. And this isn’t either. It’s not you, it’s not the joke or anything else you did. Maybe it’s just Jake, and like you, when things start looking too good, feeling too real, he’s suspicious. Only he doesn’t hold his breath like you do, waiting for them to turn bad again. He charges ahead and tries to destroy them before they can destroy him.

And things would be so much simpler if you could let that be, wouldn’t they- leave Jake alone, wrapped in his chosen darkness, and withdraw into yourself for the night, then leave quietly tomorrow. But for the life of you, you can’t, you can’t not care, you can’t not want more, more of him, more of you with him, more of the unnamed thing between you that feels so disproportionally monumental. So you have to try pulling him back from this shadow.

You start with simple conversation, ‘What would you be doing now if it was a regular day?’, you ask.

‘Be at work.’, his answer is short.

‘I tried to be a bartender once.’, you say. This captures his interest.

‘I bet that went well.’, he’s looking at you now.

‘Yeah.’, you laugh. ‘I was fresh out of school and looking for a job. Options were thin in my town. There was this new pub in the next town. They were looking for a bartender, and I thought, why not shoot my shot? I didn’t think they’d actually take me, since my knowledge of alcohol is… lacking. Also, I was faking my age.’

Jake’s mouth twitches, ‘Didn’t think you had it in you.’

‘Oh, you don’t know the stuff I have in me.’

‘Oh, yeah?’, the twitch becomes a half-smile, ‘Why don’t you show me?’

‘I might.’ You’re completely winging this- you’ve pretty much been a straight arrow most of your life, the fake ID thing was a one-off- and only because you were desperate for a job. In here though, with Jake, a wild version of you doesn’t seem so impossible. ‘But yeah,', you continue, 'I think they just chose the young pretty thing and hoped for the best. I tried it for a month. Then I quit.’

‘Did you.’, Jake pours more drink, turning away. You think he’s losing interest. Actually, no- it might just be the opposite. He was starting to enjoy the conversation, and as soon as he’s realized it it's like he doesn't want to allow himself that anymore.

‘Yeah’, you still keep it up, ‘Too many creeps hitting on me that I didn’t know how to handle then. And I was terrible at it anyway. Do you like doing it?’

‘Whatever.’, he’s disengaging, ‘It’s a job.’ It’s not an answer at all.

‘You like photography.’, you point out. ‘Have you tried doing it professionally? I think you’re good.’

‘Yeah, no.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. You ask too many questions.’, you’re losing him.

‘Yeah, hashtag Straight-A Student Struggles. Former student, that is.’- this is the only thing you can think of saying.

He didn’t expect this answer maybe, and chokes on his drink a little. ‘Did you really just say ‘hashtag’ out loud?’

‘Told you I had stuff in me that you can’t even imagine.’, you shrug. ‘Where are my points for showing you?’

He’s shaking his head. But his mouth twitches again. 'Humblebraggers,' he says, pouring a large drink, 'get no points. And', he offers the drink to you, ‘it’s never too late to make up for lack of knowledge.’

‘Yeah, I'm not so hopeless that I don’t know this.’, you take a sip of the drink and give it back to him, ‘But I’m not drinking this much bourbon now.’

His face shifts towards distaste in a second. ‘No,’, he mutters, turning away, ‘You wouldn’t.’

‘I wouldn’t, because I know I can’t handle it.’, you tell the truth.

‘You gotta handle it, huh?’, he sneers, ‘Not be messed, not throw up, not have a hangover, just perfectly sober, handling things, problems, like me last night-‘

‘Jake!’, you have to stop this spiral right now, and the only way to do this is more truth, ‘No, I want to remember.’

‘What?’, he stumbles on his train of thought, confused.

‘I-‘, you take a deep breath, ‘I would be worried about all that normally, yeah, being sick and hungover and all that shit. But here, with you- you make me-‘ , oh, God. The bottomless blue of his eyes is sharp and focused despite the drinks, and it’s hard to go on as he looks at you, because what if he laughs in your face? But you do anyway, ‘You make me feel different, like I can be different… carefree. More. And I would get drunk with you, and do things with you I wouldn’t with anyone else. But,’, oh, how is this getting even harder? ‘I’m leaving tomorrow, and this has been, you have been-‘, What, exactly? You don’t know how to put any of these into words, so you just say, ‘I want to remember this. I don’t have much more time left here, and I want to remember this, and you. When I look back, I don’t want half of it gone in an alcohol muddle, blurry and blotted out. I want to remember it all.’

You take another long breath, and he's not saying anything, and oh God, why did you think it was a good idea to say all this? You feel exhausted suddenly. What are you doing here? ‘I-‘, you swallow before saying, ‘Sorry, I get if that was weird for you. You’re just sitting here trying to enjoy your drinks, and I’m-‘, you stand up. ‘I’ll go, sorry.’ You turn away.

But then there’s a pull, and you look down over your shoulder to see that he’s reached up and grabbed your hand, stopping you.

‘You-‘, he lets go of your hand, looks down, eyes closed for half a second, exhaling. Then he looks up again, and says, ‘You wanna see some pictures I took? I have a Flickr account.’

He’s trying to be casual, but you think he looks… vulnerable- a kind of helpless hope shining through the resistance. It makes you feel too many things, but the smile making its way across your face shines the brightest.

‘Yeah.’, you say, ‘Love to. I'd much rather remember those than your toilet bowl.’

Hour 35

Shut away from the world with Jake, time feels liquid. When you notice, you’re shocked to realize that you two have been looking at photos Jake took for over 2 hours- there aren’t that many on his online account. But he explains them a bit, then makes a slanted comment, you quip back with something else, and he tries to turn it back around, and so it goes. It’s so easy between you two when he lets it be easy.

There are a couple pictures of Simone in here. You realize the picture on the wall is her too, but in that she’s face down on the beach… honestly, kind of like a mermaid, you think. But here you can actually see her- blond, willowy, and exuding a natural confidence that comes through even in still images, she’s gorgeous. You say as much to Jake, and he makes a non-committal sound in his throat that could mean anything.

Not that you’re some photography aficionado, but you can tell Jake takes good pictures. So you ask again, ‘Honestly, you never even freelanced? You’re really good.’

Jake shakes his head, clicking away from his account window that he’d pulled up on an ipad- he took it out from the drawer of his side table beside the bed.

‘Why, though?’

‘I have a job.’

‘In service. Perfect for you, seeing how you’re a real people-person.’

‘I like people’, reaching up from his position on the floor, he reopens the drawer and puts the ipad away, ‘when they tip me.’ He grins, ‘Which they do, a lot.’

With that face of his, you don’t wonder. ‘Oh, no. No hope for the rest of us poor people.’

He smirks, ‘Why, desperate to have me like you?’

He’s sitting with his side slightly leaned against the bed, legs stretched out on the floor, graceful even in this simplicity. And even though you were being sarcastic with your comment, now you suddenly can’t find words- inside your chest there’s a stupid twinge of inexplicable pain. After a pause that’s a second too long, you look away, and say, ‘Don’t worry. I know what I can’t afford.’

It's an awkward answer, and you’re waiting for him to make fun of it, but he doesn’t. When you look back at him, he’s watching you in that intense way he has of doing it sometimes, and that makes it even harder to remember rhyme or reason. You have to change the subject, so you grab onto the first thing that occurs to you. It must have been working itself out at the back of your mind.

‘Simone started working at the restaurant before you, didn’t she?’, you ask.

Jake frowns, ‘Not by much. Why?’

‘Just- is that why you started working there?’

‘I- I guess. But I’ve been bartending for years now-‘

‘And was Simone always a waitress or a server in those places?’

Jake’s jaw clenches for a moment before he replies, ‘So what? She looks out for me, I look out for her. That’s us.’

That’s us. The us of Jake and Simone that he keeps falling back on.

‘It’s great.’, you say, ‘I was just wondering- if one of you doesn’t want to stay anymore, what does the other one do? Like, if you wanted to quit tomorrow-‘

‘I don’t want to quit.’, You can almost see Jake reeling away from you, but you can’t stop.

‘If you did.’, you say, ‘If you said you wanted to, like, be a photographer now, or travel, what would she do?’

‘She’d be fine. I-‘, he stops.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Tell me!’

‘I was going to open a place with one of our chefs who wanted to quit. We’d both quit and open our own place.’

‘And?’

‘Simone was very supportive. The house at Cape Cod is both in our names, and she was willing to let me sell it.’

‘So why didn’t you?’

‘It was a stupid idea.’

‘How did you arrive at that conclusion?’

‘I just did.’

‘How?’

‘Simone-‘, he stops, trying to find words, ‘She agreed to sell the house, and told me she’d do anything for me. She’s always worried about me, she still does. I can’t- I can’t abandon her.’

‘How is you owning your own business abandoning her?’

‘You won’t get it.’, Jake shakes his head. ‘Other people never do.’ He looks at you, and you feel the change, the ease between you- strong, but so fragile in its existence- evaporating. You’re other people now, on the other side of Simone and him. Knowingly or unknowingly, you were expecting it as soon as you started talking about this. But you didn’t expect what you feel now- defiant.

‘Okay.’, you say, ‘Just, to me, it feels like-‘

‘Oh, for fucks’ sake! It feels like- who cares?' He scoffs, 'This is all you want in the end, don’t you- to fucking sit here braiding one another's hair, talking about feelings.’, he stands up. He left the bourbon behind when you came here to look at the pictures, you’re certain he’s going back to it now. It should upset you maybe, this whole thing, and it does in a way, but really all you feel is dangerously reckless.

You’ve been dancing this dance with Jake since yesterday and the pattern already feels familiar like the back of your hand- he takes you where he wants to, and you follow. But everything is liquid here, remember? Everything can slip and slide, so why not this? Why not you- the essence of you? Maybe you’ll drop some tinder in this pattern, throw a match, watch the fireworks light up the sky or the wildfire as everything burns down.

‘Your hair is too short, but I would put makeup on you.’, you say, stopping him in his tracks, ‘And acting like you’re da shit because you love avoiding talking about feelings? You’re a walking cliché, Jake. What a fucking shame.’

He turns back at you, incredulous, ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

‘You know exactly what I’m talking about.’, you stand up, swinging right into his personal space, ‘You don’t have to talk to me. But you know what I think? I think maybe you couldn’t if you wanted to, because you don’t know how, and you’re too fucking stubborn to let anyone take the time and help.’

‘What do you mean, help? I don’t need help-‘

‘Nooo, you never do, do you?’ He’s breathing hard, and so are you. His blue eyes blaze, but you don’t take yours off them. ‘Whatever. You’ll ‘deal’,', you make the air quotes, ‘Drink your drinks and do your wild parties with folks at work and Home Bar or whatever- worst name for a bar ever by the way- but guess what? I’ll still be too wild for you- with my makeup and talking about feelings.’

You think you’ve made Jake genuinely speechless, and it sends tiny sparks of thrill through your whole body. You feel a bit insane- this is so not you. But maybe this was always you, and how’d you ever know without a guy like Jake?

‘You think you’re too wild for me.’, Jake has found his voice. He enunciates every single word, low and silky- something between a growl and a purr that makes your throat go dry. He looks like he’s seeing you for the first time.

‘You’ll let me put makeup on you, then?’, you challenge, and when he doesn’t say anything, you lean in even more, your breasts touching his chest, and whisper, ‘Pussy.’ You never did put your bra back on, and both your cardigan and your top are thin- you know he can feel your nipples through them, erect and hard, and you don’t even know if that happened because of the cold or something else entirely.

His eyes flash, and his tongue flicks out to slowly touch his bottom lip. Then he reaches out and winds his fingers through the hair on the back of your head, clenching a fistful, tipping your head up. Lowering his mouth to your ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down your spine, he says, ‘Do your fucking worst. And then we’ll see.’

Hour 36

Your Junior/Senior year at high school was the time around which makeup channels on Youtube were getting really big. You weren’t that much into it but other girls at school were. You saw a chance to make a little money. By the time you graduated, you’d gathered a decent stash of items, had reasonably good skills, and had done more than 50 makeup jobs for girls in your town for fees. It wasn’t much money- $10 here, $20 there- but everything counted in your household. You haven’t done any of it since high school, and you’ve never regretted that more, because if you did, you’d have your stash with you right now. As it is, all you have is a pencil liner, a mascara, and a lip tint.

This will have to do. Jake is still seething, but underneath that, you think he’s a bit nervous about the prospect of wearing makeup for what you assume is the first time. And even though you shouldn’t, you’re really, really enjoying making him nervous. You take your time, sitting him down on the side of the bed and standing a foot away, looking at him cocking your head, going, ‘Hmm, I would definitely do a smokey eye on you. Grays, silver metallics. Not matte. Maybe even all shimmer, if I was feeling inspired…’

You know he’s got no idea what you’re talking about, and he doesn’t know you can’t do any of that, so he sits there and tries to burn you with his glare, his mouth pinched in that pout that you now think is sexy. You step closer, gently lifting his face up with fingers of your both hands. That death glare is locked with your eyes now, and you have a moment of doubt suddenly- what are you doing?- but then you’re distracted by the whole view- cream-smooth skin, midnight hair, dark furrowed brows, fiery blue eyes, angry swollen lips, a raw and wild energy coming off him. Your breathing becomes shallow. Shit, this is getting out of hand already.

You get your cleansing tissues and wipe his face first. You didn’t need to do that, his face was clean. You just wanted to touch and trace his features again. You run your fingers through his hair, shoving the fringes away from his forehead. You put some moisturizer on him. You’re standing between his knees now, and as you’re doing it, you feel his hands on your body. He touches your waist, slowly runs them on your back, touches your thighs, your ass over your PJ shorts. It almost seems unintentional, involuntary, but you know it’s not.

You step away to get the other items, and then your fingers touch something else in that pocket of your backpack- oh, oh yes! It’s highlighter- the makeup kind- you picked it up for a colleague’s birthday that’s coming up and forgot to take it out of the pack. Oh, this is perfect!

You put the liner on his eyes, subtle on the top, darker and smudged on the waterline, but still not much- just to have that blue pop. He’s still touching you wherever he can reach, and you catch your breath as he plays with the edge of your top, tracing his thumb on your stomach. He squirms when you apply mascara on his lashes, blinking too much, uttering several ‘fucks’, but when you finally do manage to put it on and look at him, your heart stops for a moment. Oh, God. He looks fucking gorgeous.

You touch his lips, slowly running your thumb over them. They’re perfect, you’ll leave them as they are. His breath is warm, and just a tiny bit shaky, and so close, you can feel it on the exposed skin of your chest. Ignoring the distracting tingle between your thighs, you pick up the highlighter. You wish its was of a silvery shade, but it’s more gold. Okay, well. With your fingers, you put a little of the shimmery powder on him, keeping it subtle, but also making sure it shows and does its job- highlighting his sharp cheekbones with a trace of golden glimmer. You run your hand through his hair again, going for a windswept look. And then you’re done.

This whole thing started as a joke- or a fight, really- but as you look at Jake right now, you don’t regret a single thing about it, because he’s breathtaking, and this couldn’t have happened any other way.

You pull him by the hand, ‘Mirror. Come on.’

The one body-length mirror in his apartment is stuck on the far left wall, and it is narrow, so when you stand him in front of it, you can barely see yourself though you’re still beside him. But then he pulls you in front of him, right arm circling your stomach. Now you can see yourselves both.

‘You look stunning, just in case it’s not clear to you.’, you tell his reflection. You can’t not tell him this.

He assesses your handiwork for a few more seconds and there’s really nothing in his expression that’s different now from before- this was a thing to get through, and he did. He’s not even looking at himself anymore, he’s looking at you in the mirror. ‘Well,’, you start trying to move away, ‘as no appreciation for my hard work is forthco- aaahhhgh...‘ Your sentence trails away in a choking moan as something like a thousand-volt electric shock runs through your body, making you shudder- holding you against himself, right arm tight around you, Jake has put his left hand between your legs, grabbing you there over your shorts.

You squirm, but he doesn’t let go, and the friction this causes makes you more and more breathless. You can see yourselves in the mirror- your mouth open, eyes helpless, and Jake’s head bent low over your shoulder. He murmurs against your ear, sounding husky and dangerous, ‘A bit of ink and glitter. This was your worst? I’m so disappointed.’ His fingers rub between your thighs, and you have to swallow another moan.

‘Of course that’s- not my worst’, you say, panting, ‘Haven’t even- started on the- talking about feelings part yet- aaaaahh!’

He’s pushed a finger in, as far as it would go over your shorts and panties, and you can tell you’re wet, you’re so wet. Your whole body jerks with his touches, but his grip around you is like an iron vise, not letting you move.

‘You can do much better things’, he traces his lips on your neck and shoulder, his breath raising goosebumps on your skin, ‘with that pretty little mouth.’ Then he turns you around and kisses you, crushing your lips with his.

You don’t even remember how you end up where you do- in your underclothes and sitting between his legs, leaning back on him while he sits on the floor leaning against that couch, holding you from behind. One of his hands is running over your body- taking off your bra, he grabs your tits, circles and presses your nipples with his fingers, slides the hand over your stomach and thighs- while the other one still teases between your legs- and it is teasing. He slowly rubs you over your soaked panties, and you feel his stubble, rough and delicious against your shoulder and neck as he whispers, ‘So wet. Who’s it for?’

You don’t say anything, trying to control yourself, to not move your hips and rub yourself harder against his hand.

‘Who is it for?’, Jake’s lips are against your ear, tongue touching as he talks. He pushes his finger deeper- in and out in a quick stroke, and you gasp, ‘F-for you, Jake.’

‘Mmm.’, he’s almost purring, but it’s deep, and hoarse, and you can’t breathe. He slowly kisses your back, shoulder, the side of your face, and he hasn’t taken off any of his clothes, but you can feel his erection through his pants against the small of your back. You arch back your neck, lips parted, and he kisses those, bringing a hand on the nape of your neck. His mouth, his tongue, his kiss- so hot it seems to burn, to set you on fire, and then you jolt violently and he laughs right into the kiss- he’s hooked his thumb through the waistline of your panties and given it a sudden, strong pull up- the thin material of it is cutting on you at the soft and swollen-open place. You desperately gasp for breath, and he stops kissing you, slowly releasing your panties, then bending forward to pull them down to your knees. He leans back again. Then he does nothing.

You’re dripping wet, your thighs are spread open, and you’re ready, you’re so ready for release, but Jake’s hand isn’t there anymore. Both his arms are circling you tightly, keeping yours pinned. You try to squirm, but his legs are tangled with yours, and he uses them to keep you in place. You’re a prisoner.

A prisoner who wants to be there.

‘Ask for it.’, Jake says, breathing and nuzzling against your neck, almost sweet, ‘What do you want,-?’, he calls you by your name.

You don’t know what to say, you can’t even think anymore. Jake reaches out and touches you there again lightly. Then he takes his hand away, and you whimper. This is torture. This is exquisite, glorious torture.

‘What. Do. You. Want?’, Jake asks again against your ear.

‘I-‘, you gulp in air, ‘I want you- you to-‘

‘Me to-?’

‘Put your f-fingers in there.’, you pant, feeling the sweat spring on your chest and neck.

‘In where?’, Jake’s hand is on your inner thigh, fingertips tracing on there.

Oh, oh, so close-

‘In my pussy. Now. Please.’

And he does. In one swift motion, he’s almost knuckles deep inside you, and you clamp down your jaw trying to push back the scream. You’re breathless in anticipation for his fingers to start moving, but they don’t. Instead, Jake says, ‘What did you do that for?’

You have no idea what he means, and you don’t care. You sway your hips, trying to feel him deeper inside you. Another groan wants to escape, and you swallow again.

‘Don’t do that.’, Jake’s voice is hoarse, but this is different, because this is not a game, or a command, ‘You don’t have to be quiet. Let it out. Let me hear you.’

You’ve never thought about this before, but all the times you had sex in the past, you’ve never felt comfortable being loud, making the sounds that formed in your throat. So many times it was a shitty place you were doing it in, privacy fragile, and other times you knew the partner (aka your ex) wouldn’t like it. But right now- right now it’s Jake and this empty apartment, and he’s asking you, and maybe there are neighbors, but so what?

You ease into it as Jake’s fingers start to move inside you- audible gasps and tiny moans, but they get longer, and louder, and now you couldn’t stop if you wanted to. He’s making rhythmic strokes while using his thumb to rub on just the perfect spot, and every single one of your nerve endings feel like they’re fused with live wires. You have slid forward to open yourself up more, thighs angled up, and as you let your head fall back against Jake’s chest, he watches you, arm around your back. He doesn’t take his eyes off your face as you let out helpless moans, mouth open, lips quivering, eyes hazy with desire, and you can’t stop looking at his face either- it’s like looking at a mirror. He’s pleasuring you but just by seeing you get there, listening to you moan and scream for him, he’s almost getting there with you. His breathing is ragged, and as you near climax, they become shuddering gasps, matching the rhythm of your repeating moaning. When you’re on the edge, he pulls up your head towards his and kisses you, hungry and scorching, and your final scream sinks into the kiss as you come violently against his hand, back arching, thighs shaking uncontrollably.

He doesn’t give you time to settle- in moments his clothes are off and he’s turned you around, pulling you to his lap, your thighs straddling his. You’ve never done it in this position before but you don’t even have to think as you slowly slide him inside you, big and thick and stiff, and start to move. Every one of your senses feel like they’re overloaded, but you can’t stop wanting more. He has one of his elbows up on the couch, supporting himself, the other arm around your waist. Both your hands are on his shoulders, then you reach out with one of them and sink it in his hair. You kiss him as you move, and with the blue in his dark-rimmed, thick-lashed eyes liquid, hair messed, blood rushing into his cheeks under the shimmer, mouth wet and letting out hot gasps, you’ve never seen anything so arousing in your goddamned fucking life. Neither of you last very long, and as you climax together, your eyes are locked for a moment, and you don’t see punishment, or powerplay, or dominance, all you see is trust. It was what it was but now he’s giving himself to you, totally, and you give yourself to him, falling onto him and holding him tightly as the orgasms wrack through you both. You don’t know when you started it, but you’re sighing his name over and over, and then you hear him do the same- he says your name, groans it out, again and again, and yes, yes, let me hear you, Jake. Let me hear you.

[Update: Part 6 (last part)]

#sweetbitter #jake #jake x reader #jake x you #jake x oc #fanfic #sweetbitter fanfiction #fic #tom sturridge #how did i have one single idea about one single scene #and now it's a fucking novel #WHAT

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