#sweetbitter x reader

[pearlstiare]

I have been thinking of writing about Jake for some time now ( thanks to the lovely @thepaintedlady00, her story inspired me to come back from my hiatus - and I recently learned that we are mutual ‎♡ ).

Some things like Therapist reader - strangers to friends to lovers.

The character of Sean Maguire ( Robin Williams )  in the movie Good Will Hunting inspires the reader.

The reader helps Jake navigate a healthy life without Simone, the toxicity in his environment, how it affects him on a personal level, and the control Simone has over him. Breaking unhealthy circles, connections, and boundaries. Learning, failing, loving, and trying along the way, not everything will be perfect but they will have each other.

If you are interested please, let me know and I will make it come true!

P.S. I have been reading Sweetbitter and also watching the show for more context on Jake's character. I will be very loyal to how he is and the way he projects himself.

[captainpoopweinersoldier]

An Acquired Taste | Jake x FReader

Synopsis: You bring Jake to Long Island's Oyster Fest

Tags: Voyeurism if you squint, with a light dash of angst; Alcohol consumption; Smoking

Words: 9.3K

And thank you to @ursulaismymiddlename who deals with my Jake fixation with nothing but grace.

Link to AO3

There’s not much of a fully formed memory left over from the previous night, except for the little inconsequential detail that it was meant to be an early one. 

It had been a typical Saturday evening shift. Fast-paced, stressful, and with the forever presence of snobby clientele. Though, in the restaurant's defense, most of the work week flowed with a similar rotation. But last night was the first Saturday in years you wouldn’t dare keep track of where the Sunday that followed was a day off, and apparently that translated to being amenable to the notion of getting fucked up.

That wasn’t the plan originally. Originally, you were meant to call it immediately after closing. You didn’t even dare to attempt partaking in shift drinks, simply vanished to the lockers to stuff any dirty laundry in a bag because dammit you’d get an early start to said day off and be able to freely partake in a chore and the event you had taken the day off for in the first place. 

That was until a certain bartender asked if you’d be going to Home Bar, and fuck if he didn’t have a face you could say no to. 

You’re sat next to him now, feeling like a teenager as the pair of you among a crowd of strangers get crammed onto a school bus headed for downtown Oyster Bay. 

“Is someone a little too hungover?” he murmurs into your ear. And maybe it’s not just the bus that makes you feel like an adolescent girl. The seats are too narrow, meant for literal children. And Jake is practically on top of you in the small space.

When you glance up at him, the rim of your sunglasses brush the sharp-edged jut of his cheek and, in your stupor, you try desperately not to stare at his lips. 

You grin reassuringly, even if the chatter surrounding you seems a little too loud at the moment. It’ll get better once you’re let outside and don’t have the odor of pervasive burning rubber and oil combined with the heady scent of him flooding your senses, you’re certain. “I’m fine, came and got you didn’t I?” 

He tilts his head back in appraisal, lips slightly parted as he considers his response. Unlike you, sunglasses don’t cover his eyes, so the striking blue hue of them is a perfect sea struck by sunlight anyone could drown in. 

“Good,” he settles on. Then somewhat reluctantly adds - “Because I uh -” there’s a huffing noise akin to a chuckle that hones your attention more than anything thus far. It’s sheepish, almost. “I’m actually. I’ve been looking. Forward -”

“Holy shit.”

“Don’t fuckin’ say anything.”

You bite your lip to temper the expression growing on your face. “Is - is Jake excited about something?” 

“No,” he says quickly. But his voice is soft, so soft in fact that you can barely hear it over the sliding doors of the bus slamming to a close and the engine revs, beginning its departure from the local train station. Jake shifts in the seat; consequentially pressing you closer to the window and his eyes dart around and he can deny all he wants but it’s weak and you don’t believe him in the slightest. You can’t help but wonder when was the last time he’d gotten out of the city. Away from the restaurant, or had maybe done something he truly enjoyed that goes against the fucking thick facade he dons daily.

But when his gaze seeks out yours once more, it’s almost like he can read your thoughts. Get the gist of your own excitement for him, the hangover actively taking a steady backseat to the fact that you’re treating him to something with such good effect. He visibly relaxes, eyes flitting about your face. 

“Don’t talk.” 

You’ll take that. Perfectly content with spending the ride watching the town pass by through the window with him comfortably pressed against you. A win’s a win.

~

It’s right in the middle of October, and as much as you love living in the city, one of the few things you actually miss about Long Island is witnessing the more flush change in season. Summer weather is a thing of the past, bleeding into the picturesque full bloom of autumn. What was green is now vibrant yellows and luscious reds. When it’s bright and sunny like today, the temperature is just warm enough that one doesn’t need a coat, and then fades into cozy crisp air under the blanket of night. 

IIt’s your favorite time of the year, and just so happens to coincide with Oyster Fest. 

The annual festival practically shuts down the entire town while thousands of people flock in attendance. Traffic is barely more than a halted complete stop, there isn’t a lick of parking for miles, and sidewalks brim with activity as bars, restaurants and shops all remain open for business, and the swarm only thickens once the bus deposits its passengers between a clearing of town parks and baseball fields located directly beside the Bay. 

To the immediate right are typical fair attractions; cheap fried foods and beer, a Ferris Wheel among other classic yet suspiciously rickety rides, including a Funhouse and the Zipper. Scattered snugly among them are grids of carnival game stations and - at this early hour of the afternoon - it is entirely overrun with families and groups of teenagers. 

But straight ahead lies the main attraction. Metal barricades form a path that leads the crowd, and you with Jake in tow, to the cleared out lots ahead. Except it’s not so clear now, quite the opposite. The heads of dozens of booths stick out atop the throngs of people. Each one ran, you know, by various vendors from all over the tri-state area, and each one selling anything from varieties of food, to homemade goods and trinkets. 

The layout is roughly the same as you remember and the medley of aromas make you salivate. Being hungover is a bygone thing and instead, your stomach growls with a not so subtle rumble thanks to opting against breakfast that morning. You pass a knowing look over your shoulder, eyeing Jake with interest, only to find delight in the way he surveys the landscape of food, drink, and the sparkling view of the Long Island Sound posing as a charming backdrop to it all.

“Oysters for days, but I’m assuming you want to hit that first?” 

The hint of a rare, genuine smile is nothing short of chuffed before he’s even looked at you, and when he does, it’s as he draws on a pair of shades.

“Desperately.” 

Maneuvering through the herd of people is no easy feat. It’s all high energy and excitement; even at a distance from across the lot, the voice of a miked up emcee booms from the main stage and an audience roars over an oyster eating or shucking competition. Queues are nearly indistinguishable as you pass through a section dedicated to gumbo and jambalaya, clam chowder and lobster bisque. You almost trip over a leashed dog and instinct makes you reach a hand out behind you, not wanting to get separated, and Jake takes it without question, letting you steer him ahead. 

The soft weight of it feels so natural tucked around yours that it barely becomes a distraction like it might’ve in any other circumstance. Not until you reach the tented area closest to the pier. There’s a swirling assembly line of people waiting to approach it like they would a ride in a theme park and you sidle in once a gap reveals itself. Only then do you fret over having to let his hand go because - well - you don’t particularly want to.

"Uh, hello?"

And just like that, the moment is over. Both of your heads simultaneously turn toward the sound of the annoyed voice and find a group of boys behind you. The one in front gestures vaguely, eyebrows raised as he huffs impatiently.

"There's like, a line going on here? You have to wait in line."

The snappy intrusion was annoying on its own, but now you're fucking hungry and mere moments away from delicious relief; you stiffen at the accusation with a flood of irritation.

"The fuck's it look like we're doing?" you snap back without hesitation. 

Jake snorts at your outburst, but otherwise it appears to be effective as the guy's body language seems to relax.

"Shit, alright. My bad."

You scoff and turn back around to catch up to the pace of the line ahead, and when you stop, Jake presses close enough to your backside that he can lean down to speak subtly along the rim of your ear. 

"You're either very confident, or you just totally cut the line without realizing."

"Hm?" His deep voice makes your skin tingle, a sensation you’ve well practiced to endure over time. "Wait. What?"

"I mean, I don't fuckin' mind. That was kind'a cute. I think you scared him."

"Are you serious-?" 

You chance a glance back, grateful for wearing sunglasses so that you can look around inconspicuously. And sure enough, the line continues much farther back than where you started. Significantly farther.

"Oh my god, I swear I had no idea-"

"Shhh.. Just keep walking," Jake's hands are on your shoulders with a gentle nudge forward, not remotely trying to contain his amusement while you flush with mortification. "We're committing now."

Indeed you are, but quite frankly - and yes, cutting is bad, it's rude, you'd tell anyone off for doing the same - it ultimately works out for the best and with very little regret because a moment later, you're blanketed by the shade of the expansive tent.

Beneath it lie rows of picnic tables, one after the other, and dozens of volunteers flit around in a blur of quick movements as oysters come piling in on trays by the (literal) boatful. They work in practiced motions, cleaning and shucking and plating the morsels, while others working the counters tend to visitors and shuffle around whole wads of cash. 

It's a five for five deal, and the operation is so speedy that before you know it, you've handed over a ten dollar bill and come away with two plates and a lemon slice each. There’s a condiment station just outside the tent’s perimeter, and while Jake walks past it - you know he prefers his oysters straight up - you stop for hot sauce and a dollop of horseradish, some napkins and a fork just in case. 

He meanwhile moseys over to a space out of the way of foot traffic over by the pier, making for quite the sight. And by it, you definitely don’t mean the water. Jake is dressed in his usual attire, a leather jacket and jeans combination. But today he surprised you with a button up-shirt printed with a variety of colors woven into wild patterns that somehow manages to actually work, and it’s up for debate if it’s because of the shirt itself or because it’s him. When you’d arrived at his apartment earlier, you’d done a triple take, unable to recall ever seeing him wear color at all - which of course was received with a smartass remark. 

But the sunlight reflected off the surface of the water casts Jake in a perfect halo as if he’s being showcased. Skin opalescent in its brightness, throat bare to the mild air as he tilts his head back and raises an oyster to his rosy-pink lips. 

You were fucked, but you save face as you approach, content to be happy with how he appears to be enjoying himself while he too balances two plates on one hand.

“They meet your exceptional standards?” you sass.

“Yes,” he states, simple and firm, and you finally take the pleasure of digging into your own. 

With the slice of lemon, you squeeze a healthy trickle of juice over the shells, poke a morsel with a fork to be sure it’s properly shucked, then pick the first one up. Your mouth is already watering by the time it reaches your lips and you knock it back with a gentle slurp. It greets you at once with a flavor both briny and sweet, mingling with the spicy tang of the hot sauce, lemon and horseradish, all wrapped up with a pleasantly refreshing chill that resonates deep within your gullet. 

“Better than the restaurant,” he continues; your mumbled agreement is unintelligible as you rush for seconds. “Better than the Cape, though?” You peer up at him suspiciously, slowly chewing around your next mouthful. He’s starting to reek of mischief and tilts his head in mocking consideration. “I don’t know, can’t make up my mind.” 

“Is someone sounding a little competitive?” 

Jake grins and you’re relieved his eyes are hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. “Of course not.”

“This is because of the clam chowder, isn’t it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies, bound to have seen the booth.

You mull over a response and suck down another oyster. “I suppose a lobster roll is out of the question?” 

“I didn’t say that.” He suddenly steps closer; you need to crane your neck a little higher to look up at him, and then his hand closes the distance between you. His thumb grazes somewhere below the curve of your lip, swiping at some wayward remnant of lemon juice or briny moisture or who cares what, only to draw it back to his mouth where he flicks at it with the tip of his tongue. “I’m still hungry.”

~

Not a single coherent thought graces your mind with its presence, and if possible he seems further delighted by this. He lights up with a smile before grabbing your hand, and it’s a struggle to find your footing and keep the rest of your oysters upright when he drags you along. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Once some proper food is in your stomachs, it’s decided that splitting up is the best option to cover more ground. Oysters may flow constantly throughout the weekend, but historically it’s not unheard of for other vendors to sell out of supply before the day is over. And as the crowd only peaks as the afternoon goes on, Jake is surprisingly up to task and it is.. Nice.

When it comes to the restaurant, there is no doubt that with the long hours, post-shift late night outings, and occasionally the spaces in between, that those you work with consume the majority of your life. But Jake is.. Different. Admittedly, he’s an asshole, with a wickedly dry sense of humor and a passing dislike for the general public. Things you aren’t necessarily opposed to. Things that, admittedly, you have in common. You like him. He’s an actual friend. It just so happens that sometimes you want him a little bit more than that. 

It is a fact that you are more than content to deal with, even if today makes it more of a challenge. Today is more than the shared cigarette breaks and the moments of hiding out in the walk-in, and it feels a far cry still beyond those late night outings with the rest of the crew. This is proper fucking bonding and perhaps it would be less daunting if Jake didn’t appear to be enjoying it so fucking much.

You take turns holding a place in line while the other will wander off in search of something else, only to reconnect immediately after to split the reward, sharing quite literally, whether it be off the others’ plate or via an outstretched hand. The strategy sees you through to the aforementioned clam chowder (a satisfying win as Jake - who adamantly refused to approve of the creamy soup - wound up stealing the last ounce of it by snatching your wrist to guide the final spoonful toward his greedy mouth), grilled scallops and octopus, steamed mussels, and eventually a lobster roll.

At other times you merely stand aside and watch as Jake schmoozes with vendors. He asks questions with an uncharacteristic interest, oozing enough charm that they inevitably offer up a small sample of something to taste for free. 

The oyster tent remains a frequented spot. The queue has grown; has more than doubled in size since your initial stop, even as it manages to maintain the assembly line pace. Two pints of locally brewed beers are cradled close to your chest as you depart what’s considered the designated alcohol tent. It’s separated from the rest of the festival, an enormous setup that requires a stamp on the wrist to gain entry. Inside is cold beer on tap, a limited selection of Long Island wines, and a projector screen that will air this week’s Sunday night football. The crowd packed inside is far from small.

You bob and weave your way back to where Jake waits, ready to purchase another ten or so oysters (you both lost count after thirty), slipping through a thicket of people so dense that you focus on keeping the drinks upright, and don’t so much as notice the two young women chatting him up - until you’re just a few arms lengths away and come to an abrupt halt.

Well, fuck.

It’s being too used to seeing this type of scene play out that makes you check the time, a part of you wondering if Jake’s about to bail and disappear with the both of them. In your defense, it wouldn’t be the first time; his reputation precedes him and it certainly isn’t unearned. His ability to attract may sometimes seem beyond the point of his own control - you’ve often wondered if it comes with the territory of being a bartender - but he has never been above easily taking what’s thrown his way either.

Their appearances likely mean little to Jake, he’s nondiscriminating that way. But upon second glance, you are all too familiar with their type. One of them is a tall brunette, the other a softball-built-yet-petite blond. Both clad head to toe in yacht club gear: pleated shorts and polo shirts, brown leather boat shoes. Even their headbands practically match in bright elastic shades of pastel. 

They’re North Shore girls. And a guy like Jake tempts in the form of parental rebellion and a potential connect for drugs. Whatever reservations you briefly experience are brushed aside, and now there’s little hesitation as you sidle up beside him, interrupting their conversation with a light nudge against his elbow. 

“Your beer,” you announce, with eyes only for him. 

Jake looks down at you, head cocked with a knowing grin. There’s something soft there too, difficult to see through the sunglasses, but you can sense it nonetheless. 

“Thanks, babe,” he says, voice a gentle rumble. He takes the beer and before you know it, his arm is wound across your shoulders and he leans in, ducking down until those rosy lips meet yours in a gentle kiss. 

There are few times you find yourself grateful for drunken mishaps of the past, and this split second happens to be one of them. For if you hadn’t kissed Jake prior to this, hadn’t felt the silk of his lips caught in a suspended moment of pleasure, perhaps the effect could melt you to your knees. As it stands, your lashes flutter across the tips of his cheeks. Without bidding, your mouth responds, drifting along the seam of his, and it’s lucky he moves with it even if it’s smugness you sense that drives him. 

For a second you almost manage to forget what’s brought this on, but then there’s that prickling sensation of being watched. By a pair of ogling stares, specifically. You force yourself apart from Jake and clear your throat, grateful your voice is stronger than you could’ve guessed as you survey his current company. “Making friends?”

The girls emit enough dismay at your arrival to stroke an ego, but not without a glare and a roll of their eyes. The brunette crosses her arms under her chest with a drawl of - “We were just talking,” while the blonde ignores you completely, focusing on Jake with an accusatory - “You didn’t mention -”

“My girlfriend,” Jake finishes smoothly, and you resist the urge to balk at him. “She’s showing me around her hometown.” 

“Close enough,” you retort dryly. Your actual hometown is out farther east, a little detail that matters to precisely no one at the moment. Apart from your arrival, your presence is barely acknowledged. The twin glares stay trained on Jake, put out and bitter as they half turn to catch up with the rest of the line. “Maybe we’ll see you around.” 

“That was salty,” you snark once they’re out of earshot. Though not quite out of sight, as you both trail slowly behind them. “I’m your girlfriend now?”

He doesn’t outright laugh, but from being nestled against him (his arm has stubbornly stayed in place), you can feel something close to it as he mulls it over.

 “Consider us even.”

You scoff and sputter immediately. “That was one time!” The time in question being at a disco, of all places. A creep had been harping on getting your number and then some. Everyone was too busy dancing to notice except for Jake who - thanks to his antisocial tendencies - was reliably stationed at the bar. He was more than welcoming to your advances, and the strange man left you alone after that. 

“Works pretty fuckin’ well though, huh?”

He’s not wrong, you admit, and relent a little at that. “Fine. I’ll allow it.” And if you feel emboldened by both the title of endearment and the public display of affection, well, you will simply refuse to look at it much more deeply than that… Even if, admittedly, your voice comes out a little flirty when you go on to add - “But if I’m your girlfriend, then that makes this a date and -”

Jake’s pained groan echoes inside his cup as he takes a long pull of beer. 

“And we’re at a festival which means you have to win me a prize at one of those shitty carnival games.” 

He stops short, forcing you to stop with him, and fixes you with a glare. It lasts a breath too long, but you stand your ground, refusing to give under the weight of it, when eventually -

“I fuckin’ rock at shitty carnival games.”

Your face splits with a grin, and a smirk tugs at his. 

“Guess you’re gonna have to prove it.”

~

But before any games, there is one last stop that can’t be missed: a lobster dinner for a measly twenty bucks. No such deal would exist anywhere either on Long Island or back in the city, and anyone who deemed themselves a lobster lover would be foolish to pass up on the offer. One that likely wouldn’t last much longer this late in the day.

So when you manage to anxiously outlast the line, you’re grateful once you both walk away with a plate each in hand, and for the last iota of room in your belly that still has an appetite. 

The both of you assume a spot at a picnic table - few and far between, and shared with a trio of friends who occupy the opposite half - with Jake perched on top of it, and you sat on the bench beside his legs. In near silence now as you chow down as if eating hasn’t been the sole productivity of the day. The lobster is perfectly steamed, not dry, an error all too easy to make, and with a half-ear of corn and quarter-pound cup of melted butter as accompaniments.

There is a nagging thought, though. One you’ve been mulling over since parting ways with the two obvious up-to-no-good snobs. You peer up at Jake while you finish chewing, already moving on to cracking open a claw, having an inner debate on whether it’s worth it or not to bother mentioning. Jake is.. Well, private isn’t exactly the correct term. In the time you’ve known him, he can be almost too open with certain topics once you get him talking. But it’s rarely too personal, the deep down nitty gritty. And depending on what mood he’s in, he’ll either shut down completely, or bite your head off.

But the day so far has turned in a direction you hadn’t predicted. It’s gone better, much better than you could’ve hoped for when you first took the plunge in inviting him to come with. And in any case, his mood is as good as you’ve ever seen it. His fingers work the lobster tail apart, lips pursed in concentration, an oily sheen to them from the butter and eventually he pauses to take a few gulps of beer. 

He looks fucking gorgeous and you can’t stand it and fuck it -

“So,” you start, noncommittally at first. And you can only tell he’s listening by the raise of his brows. “I.. can’t help but notice that. Y’know.. You didn’t run off with those girls.” 

There’s little reaction to that. The upraised brows drop, he lets out a small huff before forking a couple of bites into his mouth. “You thought I was what - that I was gonna leave you here? Have a fuckin’ coke bender with them? Get laid?” 

“Oh, I knew it!” you snap a tad overzealous. “Sorry. I fucking knew they wanted drugs. Anyway.”

Jake snorts, unbothered by the outburst. “Yeah, I’ve seen the type. They fuck you for drugs, and then their frat sized boyfriends just happen to show up. Conveniently in time to kick the shit out’a you. Rob you, obviously. I like my asshole where it is, thanks.”

You hum around a mouthful of lobster. “Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

“Or maybe I just know a thing or two about a thing or two,” he sasses back. He takes a bite of his corn on the cob, an act that has no business being attractive and yet -

“People like that over there too, huh?” you ask out of curiosity, and he nods slowly.

“Starting to think this place isn’t too different from the Cape.” 

“Aw, I can see why you miss it so much...” Another thing you have in common; you both happen to share a resounding hatred for where you’re from. The sarcastic remark draws his attention, fixing you with a stare so amused you actually wish he wasn’t wearing sunglasses, simply to see the sharpness of his blue eyes. 

“And I, uh.. I wouldn’t leave you like that.” He speaks slower now, enunciating his words as if it might almost pain him to admit, and eventually he looks away. “I’m actually - enjoying myself. With you. Today. And I don’t feel like pretending.” 

His phrasing sprouts about a dozen or so other questions at once, spurring sudden whiplash in your mind. Interest piques to the point you have to forcibly temper the urge to press him for more, likely to ruin the moment altogether. And in any case, more importantly, lies the admitted sentiment. It's, dare you say, heartwarming. Surprising. 

But you also know that if you acknowledge it aloud, he’ll tell you to fuck off. 

You smile at your plate instead. There’s just the one claw left now. It’s your favorite part, one you would normally savor, except you realize you’ve been slowly picking it apart with your fingers into little tiny unrecognizable pieces, distracted. 

“I wasn’t gonna let you wander off with them anyway. So.”

“Is that right,” Jake asks, and you glance up at him again just to find he casts down an unnaturally bright smile. He’s teasing you. “Feeling jealous?”

“Terribly,” you drawl, but the feigned glare hardly sticks once you can hear him chuckling. “No, I just - I guess I fucking hope that’s not your type, but either way I could tell exactly what they wanted from you. And I didn’t. Want that, I mean.”

“You were protecting me.” Jake muses, and a retort is ready at your teeth that he requires no such protection. But then the fleeting image of a certain tall blond floats to mind like an old bad dream, and you have to stomp it down before it can rise to the surface. Focus instead on quelling the angst that worries at your food. At the more pleasant low timbre of Jake’s voice, not quite done talking. You realize he’s in the middle of a thought you’ve missed the first half of only to catch the tail end. “So why haven’t we?”

“Haven’t what?” you ask cluelessly, in the midst of losing said stress to several healthy swigs of some Long Island pale ale. 

“Why haven’t we had sex?” 

It’s asked so casually, so passive and without hesitation that you choke mid-gulp. There’s a split second of panic, a flashing image of splattering beer all over yourself, and somehow you force yourself to swallow. Nothing more than a few dribbles pass the corners of your lips, and you smear them away with the back of a shaky hand. 

“Fuck, Jake,” you wheeze.

Jake doesn’t laugh at you, not out loud anyway. But there is a noticeable bounce to his shoulders. “Cool. If that’s the term you prefer. Why haven’t we fucked?” 

The glare you send him this time is real, even if it’s less impactful over the rim of your cup. You chug the rest of its contents to ease away the scratchy rasp in your throat. It’s not like you’ve never discussed sexual things with him before, being friends for a time and well - him being him, it’s sort of inevitable. It’s just never been directed toward you, or rather, the two of you together. To the point where on more than one occasion, you’ve been referred to as the girl he ‘skipped’. Equally frustrating and weirdly resonating inadequacy when you feel -

Nope. Not doing that. You slam the empty cup on the table and take the first normal, deep breath you’ve had in recent minutes.

“You’re not available,” you finally tell him.

“I’m not,” he says, clearly disagreeing. 

“Not in the way I need.”

He hums in consideration. “The way you need… That’s what - emotions? Romantic shit? How stimulating.” 

Also exactly the opposite of how he maneuvers through his own entanglements, and so begs the question how it could possibly pertain to you - if that really is something he’s contemplated before. You cock your head at him, absolutely mystified while he’s predictably nonplussed. He drops his plate next to your empty cup, bare to the bones, before gathering the collective trash, and climbs off the picnic table to toss it away. And when he returns, it’s with an outstretched hand, beckoning.

“Let’s go. We can’t leave until I win you something.”

The irony of the situation is not lost on you as you take it, and once again let him pull you along.

~

As it happens, Jake was not kidding when it came to being good at carnival games. 

It starts at the bottle toss booth, a simple enough concept that when he wins the first round on a single throw, you assume it’s a fluke. But then there’s the second round, and the third, and a fourth for (showing off) good measure - and each time without fail, Jake knocks out every bottle on the first throw. He moves on to balloon darts after that and to your (and the booth operator’s) astonishment, Jake is an image of poise, sipping his beer while popping any balloon he aims at. 

“What.. the fuck?” is all you can say as you watch in awe. Of course, you’ve done miserably; haven’t landed any darts, and you could barely even keep up with the bottle toss. But Jake simply looks pleased with himself, providing no explanation to this hidden corner of his personality. Instead, he peruses over the strung up stuffed animals that make up his winnings.

“Which one do you want?” he asks. When you have a hard time finding your voice to answer, he picks out an oversized teddy bear and shoves it into your arms. And for a moment, he doesn’t quite let go. He blinks down at you and you curse the removal of his sunglasses, something about concentration. The icy blue practically glitters beneath the multicolored flashing lights of festival attractions, and all you can do is stand there, dumbly transfixed. 

A slow smile overtakes him. “Next loser buys the drinks.” 

Another series of wins follow in quick succession. You take turns at a variety of shooter games which, lucky for you, requires slightly less skill. Jake may still get first place, but it’s you who shouts in triumph when you don’t come dead last in a water gun race. 

The classic ring toss is the only obstacle that gives him a challenge. A few dollars spent gets a large bucket of little discs that have technically been made to fit around the mouth of a liter sized bottle, but they never quite stick the landing. Jake insists the strategy is all in how it’s thrown, and though he has his own handful of misfires, eventually he smoothly tosses the rings like he would skipping rocks and lands several back to back. 

It’s impressive enough to warrant some cheers from onlookers; other players who are about as successful as you in their attempts. All the while, Jake’s gloating is a quiet kind; he tilts his head and bats his eyelashes at you, and frankly you’re too astonished to mind.

“You’re like, amazing,” you tell him. 

He straightens immediately like he’s been pinched, and the rosy blemish that suddenly warms his cheeks is all the smug victory you need.

What started simply with just a teddy bear turns into a giraffe with cartoonishly wide plastic eyes. Then a big blue shark with felt teeth, and finally largest of all, a neon green snake with a frilly pink tongue. It's so long, it curls over Jake’s shoulders and still almost brushes the ground while he waits for you to return from the bathroom. 

It’s a sight you have to pause and photograph to memory; notoriously moody, scowling Jake wrangling cute stuffed animals in a chokehold while he smokes a cigarette. You try to keep from laughing but the alcohol in your system does nothing to help. You’re not completely toasted, no, but the buzz in your veins keeps your face flushed, and you cannot stop smiling as you make your way back to him.

The pair of you had lost complete track of time while the afternoon lost itself to twilight, and the Sound now reflects the glowing blues and purples of the sky. Nearby, the school buses are still on their rotation. Families climb on board with their children to depart for things like dinner. Most of the food vendors have closed out for the day, save for the typical carnival fare - soft pretzels, popcorn, corn dogs and such - but the Bay stays thrumming as the crowd shifts into the rowdiness of nightlife activities. 

Jake rolls his eyes when he catches you staring. “Having fun?” 

“Oh, yes,” you emphasize. “Not as much as you, though, huh?” The next bout of laughter becomes an oof! in a gust of air as he thrusts the stuffed animals at you so fast you have to keep from dropping them. Lastly is the snake, even though it suits him. He thoughtfully pulls your hair aside before tucking it around your neck. “S’that some sort’a Cape boy persona you keep locked up in hiding?” Hands full, you pucker your lips at him expectantly. 

“Somethin’ like that,” he admits. He holds the lit cigarette to your mouth and you gratefully pull a drag or two off of it. The tips of his fingers graze your lips, and his eyes flit toward the light touch. “I was.. Kind of a shithead kid back then. In a pack of other shitheads. We’d steal beer, get drunk off a forty. There was the county fair, or the harbor. Turns out I liked throwing things.” 

It’s a rare detail of his adolescence you’ve never heard before, and you’re cradling a stack of stuffed animals. 

“What about you?”

“I sucked.”

“Wasn’t gonna hold that against you. Makes me look better.”

“I, uh, I would try to find out how much funnel cake I could eat before riding the Zipper without throwing up.”

Jake hums with delight, brows almost disappearing into his hairline. “We could go try that right now.” 

“I did actually. Get thrown up on. By my friend. People could see it from the outside, it was - we don’t have to.” 

For the first time today, Jake laughs. It’s boisterous and at a higher pitch than one could expect, and you love it even if it’s caused by the image of you covered in vomit. It makes a small part of you not want the day to end; this pocket of time where it’s just you, and not the stifled air and bull shit drama of the restaurant. But there’s still the trek back to the city, a bus and a train to catch, and at the thought of it small ounce of dread fills your stomach because fuck -

The LIRR is packed. 

You should’ve predicted as much; it’s not only the Long Island residents that need to get home,  but it’s been a minute since you made such a commute, after an event no less, to have considered its capacity. The train has already left the station, streaks through the county with a steady rock and the occasional flicker of the overhead lights, by the time you manage to find a seat after an off-balance weave through train cars - a lone three seater among a sea of loud passengers.

There’s a large group of rowdy boys, college kids from the looks of it, clearly drunk and a fraction of whom are dressed in matching football jerseys. They shout back and forth at each other across the aisles and over the heads of the girls who sit among them. They make a show of snapping at them to quiet down to no avail; ultimately as uninhibited and shrill as the boys are. And music plays from an unknown source, overpowering the volume of the overhead speakers. There’s only one other quiet pair; two women who share a set of earbuds to watch a cellphone streaming from their laps.

Jake props his boot atop the armrest in front of him the moment you both sit down, a force of habit to prevent anyone else from sitting with you. He receives the odd dirty look from stragglers passing by looking for a seat, only to slouch and nestle into your side in petty retaliation. It’s oddly satisfying, like you can hold onto the illusion of being alone with him just a little longer. 

But they keep shuffling through, and a dirty look evolves into an ahem and an eyeroll, and someone even pauses a second too long, and Jake takes it a step further. You were content to feign ignorance, staring out the window while the exchanges played out, but suddenly he’s dragging your arm over his shoulders. He angles toward you, a warm hand slipping around the curve of your thigh, and then his mouth finds the crook of your neck. Your breath hitches as it tucks itself there, trailing feather light kisses along your skin. 

There’s an audible “Oh, whatever,” and receding footsteps and you can feel him smile into your pulse point.  

“Is that totally necessary?” 

“Mhm.” He withdraws but doesn’t go far. Merely tilts his head back, shifting within the circle of your arm until you’re perfectly level with each other. It’s intoxicatingly close; the tip of his straight nose a hair’s breadth away, his eyelashes a dark blur over his cheeks. You can smell him this close. The smokiness of cologne or body wash, and a hint perhaps of something sweet like shampoo. “I don’t wanna share. And your furry little friends weren’t doing the trick.”

“And kissing me was your call to action, huh?” 

He shrugs noncommittally. “Proved effective. Unless they happened to be into watching random strangers fool around. Not that I mind, but -”

“Oh, is that what we’re doing?” you ask dryly.

“I could be. Open to that.” He licks his lips and you gaze steadily back, trying (with futile effort) not to fluster as he smirks. Acutely aware of the hand on your thigh, how his thumb strokes absentmindedly along the inseam of your jeans, stoking something inside that’s growing harder to ignore. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” 

You scoff, momentarily relieved with the urge to laugh. “If this is about the damn disco again -”

“Actually I was thinking of that time in the walk-in.” 

“.. Ah, yeah. That.” As it turns out, mishaps of the past don’t exclusively refer to isolated incidents. You just refuse to dwell on those moments, knowing they’ll never amount to more than just having fun for Jake. Not that there’s anything wrong with that - your heart skips a beat from simply recalling the memory. But feelings.. Complicate things. 

You’re not going to dwell on that now, either, though. Not when there is little subtlety in the way you both inch closer together. Not when you can feel his breath on your lips. Jake’s head tilts, the bridge of his nose brushes along yours. Attraction thuds in your veins to the point that it’s a chore to find your own voice. “So, what you’re saying is, you’ve become one of my bad habits.”

He makes a noise of amusement, closing what minute space is left between you. “It doesn’t have to be bad.” 

“I said - tickets, please.” 

The conductor’s voice jolts you like being snapped out of a trance. It’s a rude awakening - both the intrusion itself, and the jarring transition back into reality. It’s no wonder neither of you heard the first request. Now an actual football is being lobbed around the train car. A chorus of voices sing along to the music blasting, competing with the echoes of multiple conversations occurring at once. Has it been this loud the whole time?

You disentangle from Jake who appears mostly unbothered but for the slightest of sulks as he reorients himself. He pats around his pockets until fishing out two train tickets from his jacket, then hands them over to the conductor. You watch the scene unfold, baffled. It’s quite possibly the most mundane fucking thing that could be happening right now. 

Once the conductor moves on to the next row, you coo sweetly at Jake. “Aw, hon, thanks again for the ticket.”

“Shut up,” he grumbles, then reassumes the position as if the moment had been merely paused. He reaches for you, slipping a hand around the back of your neck, his thumb teasing along your earlobe, and even if it weren’t for the way his mouth seals seamlessly over yours, you’d still be melting instantly. 

You release a trembling sigh, eyelids fluttering closed at the feel of him yielding as the kiss deepens. Jake’s lips part over yours and you open for him immediately, groaning helplessly when he licks into your mouth. The remnants of cheap beer and cigarettes evaporate into something entirely, pleasantly him. The headiness of his spit, the furl of his tongue. It’s dizzying, and arousing. Your surroundings fade back into white noise yet adrenaline surges through your limbs, leaving you to clutch at him desperately. Seeking purchase in the fabric of his shirt, a sleeve of his jacket, anything you can reach, and one can only assume he warms to the notion from the way his body gives.

He surges even further into you, pressing you as far back as you can go without meeting resistance, and just as you worry the twist of your spine to accommodate might grow tiresome, a series of long dragged out squeaks wheezes from the nondescript pile at your backside.

“Not quite the response I was looking for,” Jake murmurs between kisses.  “Gonna make me regret winning those for you, huh?”

“Not on your life,” you retort, voice a breathless thing. You gaze up at him, swallowing hard at the sight of him like this; pupils dilated, darkening the shade of his eyes with dramatic effect when the lights flicker again. You graze your fingertips over his lips, spit-slick and swollen, then smile and try to tease with - “Think I might just name one after you-”

The thought is abruptly cut short when his mouth descends upon yours once more. His thumb presses into the hinge of your jaw, tongue slipping greedily along yours the moment you part for him. Hungrier this time, as if each interruption only makes him more impatient. His hands quickly trade places; one cups the back of your head, keeping you stubbornly in place as he steals the air from your lungs. While the other threads down the scope of your torso, breezes over your hip and maneuvers beneath your legs and - the comfort is an instant relief when he pulls them over his lap. 

It gives him freer reign this way. You arch into his touch as his fingers slip beneath the hem of your shirt, and he breaks the kiss with gasping breaths. Seeks reprieve in the curve of your jaw. Not remotely dwelling on the wanton display that anyone could simply look over the edge of their seat only to witness him finding the sensitive spot of your throat where his lips pucker and suck, the noises he makes shooting sparks of pleasure deep in your belly. 

“Jake,” you warn through clenched teeth. It’s not so much that you want him to stop - quite the opposite while you try to resist writhing over his lap. It just might make for a small problem while you’re on a fucking train. 

But he makes a disapproving sound, something like a huff in your ear, then sharply nips something fierce around your skin. You lurch despite your efforts, let slip a strangled moan. Then he soothes the mark with the heated drag of his tongue, and you’re melting all over again, whimpering as his breath raises goosebumps along the trail of saliva.

“Just like that.” His voice is breathy, muffled as he kisses his way back up the line of your jaw. “Is that what you like?” 

Fuck, you want him. Little thought is spared on anything but him as his hands never quite stop moving, from grazing your bare rib cage to grabbing your ass. Your needy fingertips card through the black mess of his hair, tearing him back to your mouth, and Jake fulfills. Kissing you hard and slow. Growing bolder as he feels you squirm for any semblance of relief. His touch slips down your belly, curls along the zipper of your jeans. And when his hand sinks between your thighs, the last fleeting, coherent thought you do have is that at least no one will be able to hear a single sound you make. 

~

A transfer at Jamaica and a subway ride later finally sees you back to familiar streets. It's well into the evening now, the cityscape lit up with its typical bright neon glow. It floods the sidewalks while you walk, milling through an altogether different type of crowd as you make way for the restaurant. 

It’s almost inevitable, winding up there every night. Regardless of the complaining, the more-often-than-not haughty guests, Howard managing with his quirks, the restaurant remains a single constant for most of the staff, and even on a rare day off, you still come crawling back to its doorstep. 

The sight of its stoop on the street corner, well lit beneath its overpriced lanterns, makes it almost seem like a typical Sunday. The main difference being that your arrival isn’t usually accompanied by an armful of stuffed animals. Nor do you make a habit of reporting to work while painfully horny. The walk has done you some good in that respect; it feels like you’ve been properly, thoroughly edged. 

The ride on the train took a turn you.. weren’t expecting - though it certainly made for a way to pass the time. It’s as if you can still feel Jake’s lips on yours, still taste a remnant of him. Like the very scent of him has buried itself somewhere deep inside your lungs. The aforementioned makeout sessions do not hold a candle to what has just occurred, as mostly over the clothes as it was. Voyeurism isn’t really your thing, and though you wouldn’t hold it past Jake to be up to task, it was the closest you’ve toed a line in that territory, and you feel - you feel. That cliche spark, that flutter in your chest as powerful as the ache of arousal in your belly.

It wasn’t just the kissing, either. It was the heavy petting, it was the talking in between. Telling Jake about your first broken bone, learning how he split his chin open skateboarding when he was a teenager - still has the scar that’s hidden by the usual scruff of his facial hair. You wonder if he feels it, too. Felt anything at all or if it was just having fun, which, to reaffirm to your current overthinking state of mind, is still okay. 

You chance a glance at him walking beside you, his own expression unreadable as ever as he smokes another cigarette. Just moments ago, his lips were kissed swollen. His pale skin heated with a flush that ran low beneath the collar of his shirt. And now, the only remnant left behind is the muss of his hair.

But the restaurant inches closer. Service is over by now. The both of you could walk inside, join those partaking in shift drinks, wind up at a bar later, then go your separate ways. Or you could.. ask for more. See if there is an ounce of weight to what he brought up earlier. His pace slows short of making it to the entrance, intent to finish his cigarette, and now is as good a time as any. 

“Hey, so -” you suddenly remember the stuffed animals cradled in your arm, and for the second time tonight feel a little foolish. But there’s still some liquid courage left in you yet. Some bolstered confidence from the days’ events. 

“So, I know we’ll probably go for drinks and whatnot, but later…” You’re stood between him and the building and Jake steps closer; whether to shield you both from passerby or impose with his body some more is unclear as his gazes sharpens, pinned on you while a plume of smoke cascades from his nostrils, and he raises a questioning brow. God, you are so fucking fucked but you’re smiling and shaking your head as you finish your thought. “Later, maybe you’d wanna come back to my place?” 

There’s the slightest lift to the corner of his lips. His head tilts back in appraisal.

“Okay.” 

You blink rapidly. “Okay?”

“Yes,” he enunciates with a little more gumption, appearing amused. Definitely imposing now as he moves even closer until you are nose to chest. “I’d like that. But, uh.. You should know.” He dips his head as if to kiss you again, and quite honestly, you’re not sure if you can remain standing if he does. “I’m unavailable.” 

A snort of laughter erupts from your throat, and even as he leans in, you can’t resist a roll of your eyes before they flutter closed and -

The front door of the restaurant bursts open and the moment is quickly lost to a series of recognizable voices: Ari, Sasha, Heather and Will. Scott with a few guys from the kitchen. All talking a mile a minute as they file down the stairs and swarm over the sidewalk. 

It’s Scott that notices you first. “Hey, look who finally decided to show up. Lookin’ like a bunch’a fuckin’ dorks.” He purposely knocks his shoulder into Jake’s as he strides past, tossing a vague gesture behind him. “C’mon, shitheads, I’m fuckin’ hungry!” 

“Ooh, what’s this?” Sasha tugs at the snake and drapes it around himself like a feathered boa before striking a pose. “I’m keeping this one.”

“No fuckin’ way!” you snap, just as Ari plucks the shark from your grasp.

“I thought you were going to an oyster festival,” she drawls, inspecting the toy. “Didn’t think that meant a carnival, too. I’m working my ass off all day..”

“Okay, just don’t drop them please? Jake won them for me.” You immediately regret your choice of words as they come to a complete halt. 

“Jake did what now?” Ari asks, her eyes - along with Sasha’s and Heather’s - flicker up at him in genuine shock. Will merely chuckles as he passes, trailing after Scott and the crew. 

Jake’s face stretches with a dry smile. “Fuck off, Ari.”

“Y’know for someone who doesn’t date, you’re awfully fucking good at it.” 

“Jake? Good at dating? Now that’s one I’ve never heard before.”

So occupied by the current company, you had taken no notice of Simone’s approach. She’s out of her stripes, donned in her well maintained image of class. An expensive knit sweater, pressed pants. Her signature red lipstick is freshly applied, and her long blond locks are left to cascade softly across her shoulders.

She looks you up and down as she draws near, taking in your appearance but not quite meeting your eye before looking coolly at Jake. “You didn’t tell me this was a date.” 

Her tone is coy enough, but not a single one of you is under the false impression that there isn’t more underlying to what she says. Sasha makes a comment under his breath and Heather quickly jabs an elbow into his side to quiet him.

“They’re just teasing, Simone.” You snatch the shark back from Ari, feeling annoyed. Like you’re being scolded by a school teacher when you haven’t done anything wrong. “It wasn’t a date, we just had -”

“I’m glad you two had a good time,” she finishes for you, and when her gaze finally meets yours, it’s like this conversation has somehow escalated into a standoff, and each bystander lights up a cigarette during the tense pause. 

Eventually, Simone flicks her hair. “Impeccable timing, Jake... Walk me home?”

Fuck. You hate the way your stomach plummets at that.

You look up at him, clinging to some notion that he’ll deny her just this once, that he has felt something, that he wants to see the rest of the night through. That he wants - you.

But at the very moment you see his face, you know that’s not happening. For a second, he looks back at you, mouth hanging open around unspoken words. And when Simone calls his name again, you watch him shut down completely. 

“Sure,” he intones.

“Alright, c’mon babygirl.” Sasha grasps you by the arm in effort to tug you away. Follow after Will and Scott who’ve likely made it a couple of blocks down the road by now. 

You falter on the first step as if you’d been glued to the spot, stubbornly staring at Jake, trying desperately to swallow around the sting of disappointment and rejection so it’s not plain for him - or anyone else - to see.

You think you manage to tell Jake ‘goodnight’, but then your back is turned on him and you let Sasha steer you away with the girls.

The three of them link arms with you tucked somewhere in between. It’s apparent you’ve done well steeling yourself; there’s a bounce to their steps as they carry on as before, talking one over the other with no regard to whatever the fuck it was that just occurred. Onward to what you can only hope is a repeat of last night, with little left over to remember come morning.

[tarotoftheendless]

Sweetbitter Thoughts about Jake and Tess

I have watched the show Sweetbitter around 5 to 6 times... 3 times in one week... I was very depressed and I am in my Tom Sturridge era right now... and Jake... oh boy, Jake... he's hot as fuck. Bad boys always are.

But sadly, he fits into the "I can fix him" category of character... Now, I have my thoughts and theories on Jake, like he was groomed by Simone after being taken in by Simone's family when his mother killed herself... and that explains his strange loyalty and relationship to her, but also his unhealthy coping mechanisms with drugs, alcohol and sex. He thinks himself too damaged for love, Simone probably taught him that, and so he becomes "dangerous" because it protects himself from further harm, or so he thinks. Simone probably made him believe he is too dangerous for a real relationship, even though it is Simone that is the dangerous one.

And then in walks Tess, 8 years younger than Jake as she is 22 and he is 30. I am not one to judge when two adults meet each other when they are adults and they do happen to click naturally, but something is off about the way Jake is teasing Tess and then Tess is eating it up. Tess has her own traumas too. I have only read half the book, so I don't know if there is more to it than what the show gives us, but something made her leave her home in Ohio, her father. It sounds like there could have been enmeshment there too, much like Jake and Simone, but maybe more inappropriate as it was a father/daughter relationship? I don't know, but Tess is running and not exactly dealing with her mental and emotional issues either.

And then Tess kinda immediately wants to fuck Jake. It isn't that deep at first. She just wants to fuck him. And she gets charmed by Simone, believing the lies she tells her. And though Tess wants to get to know Jake, it is still with the main goal of fucking him. It's selfish.

The night with Sasha changed things, only slightly. Tess believes she got a glimpse of the "real" Jake and then she starts to think herself entitled to him and his history. She thinks because she got that glimpse that she now knows him, or at least thinks she has the right to know him.

When Jake finally does fuck her, she truly believes that her claim on him trumps Simone's, it doesn't. Tess never came into things with firm boundaries, she never came into whatever she has with Jake with a true desire to know him, really know him and what he actually wants and what he is actually like. And then when Tess feels entitled to Jake is when she presumes to care and know what is going on. And that is not what Jake needs.

And because of that Tess and him would have never worked... not to mention that Jake would have sided with Simone in a heartbeat. Jake has not faced what really happened to him and how toxic and abusive his relationship with Simone really is, so yeah, Jake would have dropped Tess as quickly as he gave into her because she dared to feel entitled to him and to finally act like she cared.

He would feel betrayed though, still. It would break him more than the other women (and maybe men too... the show never said he wasn't bi, just that he was a top... which I have thoughts on that too...) because he maybe would have believed for half a second that maybe Tess did care, but Simone has her hooks in him and he is not ready to deal with his shit and let go of his coping mechanisms yet, so, he would drop Tess.

Off topic but not, yes Jake is said to be a top, but I am not sure Tom Sturridge exactly gave that impression with how he showed how Jake fucks, or makes-out with women... forceful, yes, impulsive, yes, flirts first, yes, but top? I am not sure about that. When we first see him making-out with Viv he seems lost in the sauce but not in a way that makes it seem like he's controlling the situation. He seems to worship those he is with, and I guess you can be a top and do that, but Jake always gave the impression of being touch-starved (yes, I know he gets sex a lot, just go with me on this...). Like he is searching for some sort of connection each time he is with someone, but isn't finding it completely.

And I also don't think he would say no to someone else taking control, if it meant getting the kind of connection he has been searching for, then yeah, I do think Jake would welcome being topped as a part of his worship. I also think Simone has probably topped him plenty with the hold she has over him...so... But yeah, if Tom Sturridge wanted us to believe Jake was a top, maybe acting like a touch-starved blissed out sexual-touch-is-my-drug worshipper is not the way to do it. He didn't choke anyone... so... yeah...

Anyway... I don't think Tess and Jake would have worked because she didn't come into the situation with her own issues worked through, firm boundaries set and an actual friendship first with Jake that then could have proven to him that she actually cared about his past, history and who he really is.

Jake needs someone who understands him, maybe has been through similar things, but also has worked through it a bit more than Jake has so they can actually help Jake, genuinely. And it needs to be friendship first. Attraction can be there, but boundaries of creating a solid friendship first based on trust and actual care for each other's wellbeing should come first before sex. I think Jake needs a wake-up call and to get sober, and he needs to face what happened to him... and maybe someone who has dealt with similar can help him by understanding and being his friend first. A friendship without holding something over his head is exactly the kind of foundation Jake needs for an actual lasting relationship.

And Tess? She needs to grow up and deal with her own shit and not try to fuck people with that being her first goal and then presume to claim to care about those people. She needs therapy... and to also get sober.

Jake also needs therapy... lots of it. And he needs to walk away from Simone. Simone has always threatened to walk out on him finally, well, I think that after Jake comes to terms with what has happened to him at her hand that he needs to walk away from her instead. He needs to stand on his own two feet.

I, unfortunately, don't think that he'd come to that conclusion on his own. He needs a wake-up call, a fuck up so bad it makes him realize how bad things have gotten. And I do think he needs someone to help him take the steps to get better, but I do think his journey should be one where he finally lives for himself and stands on his own two feet. And they may or may not include a lasting romantic relationship. Part of me wants him to learn what real love actually looks like, but the other part of me thinks he needs to be on his own and learn to love himself first. Maybe both can happen at the same time... who knows... where's the fanfic guys? Do I need to write it? Fuck...

Let me know what ya'll think. These are just my thoughts... my continued thoughts about Jake from Sweetbitter. Look through my other posts so you can see some other thoughts I have had about Jake.

[soutcftime]

Boyfriend - Jake (sweetbitter) x Reader.

SUMMARY: Congratulations! You get a boyfriend. But how Jake would feel about that? It supposed you are not a thing so he shouldn't be mad, right?... Right?

NOTES: This was inspired by AI! Jake. Thank you AI! Jake, you made my night.

RANTING: E

WARNING: age gap (young reader), walking red flag Jake, jealous Jake, this is, again, very questionable. Smut written by Asexuals ™

-

"Jake"

You were just starting your shift when you approach to him. You were the new girl for a while, and of course, you fell into his charms.

Honestly, it was very out of yourself doing that. You hate the one night shit. And you were absolutely tired of it. No more bullshit to your life.

So, you decided, you were going to give a chance to the beautiful rugby lad from your university. He was sweet and nice, and really good playing rugby. And, better than anything, your father approved him. It was all you need to accept being his girlfriend.

No more casual encounters, no more sex in a bathroom, nor in the back of an ugly bar. No. More. Jake.

"Hm?" Jake doesn't even look at you, he seems very concentrate on cutting the lemons.

"I have to tell you something" you don't even know why do you say it like that. Like it's something really important and you need to have all his attention.

Perhaps Ari was right and you were nothing but an attention whore. Damn.

"What is it?" he glances at you. A curious glance.

"I have a boyfriend"

He blinks at you for a moment and then burst out a laugh.

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to be sad now or...?" he shakes his head, walking away from you. He had to attend the rest of the bar.

You feel your cheeks burning, an horrible feeling climbing your whole body. Humiliation.

Yeah, well. Maybe you deserved it. Why would Jake even care about it?

You sigh in resignation. Better focus on the job.

The job by his side. The whole night.

Now, why did you never listen to your dad? “bartending is shit, (Y/n). Get a real job.” Fucking old man was right.

"Can I know why did you tell me that?" you were cleaning the cups to put it on its place when he approached. You shrugged.

"Jesus Christ, Jake. I only told you that to make it clear that we cannot continue... you know..."

"Fuckin?" he finishes your sentence with a smirk.

You nod.

"Well, I don't care if you have 5 boyfriends right now. I'm still gonna ask you to come home with me tonight" he rests on the bar. His stupid smirk there on his lips.

You frown, who did he think you were?

"I'm going to say no, Jake. I'm being serious about this" he chuckles at your statement.

"Just for tonight, babe. You're not cheating if no one knows, right?" he raise his hand to touch slightly your chin. Just a little touch.

There was no way you are thinking about the proposal. No way, the rugby lad was decent. He likes you and you like him back. Stop it.

Well...

"It's still cheating if you and I know the truth, Jake" you arch your eyebrows, trying to prove your point.

Jake chuckles softly, dropping his arm at his side with a sigh.

"Alright, then. If you're so faithful to your boyfriend, just give me a kiss" you blink twice.

"Jake, I'm not--" you shut, just looking at him for a moment. "I won't..." you can't keep talking, so you just sigh and kiss his cheek briefly. "There. Happy now?"

Jake smiles, tilting his head to look at you properly.

"Good girl. Now..." he grabs your hand gently, caressing it with his thumb. "Come with me, your boyfriend will never know anything." he take a step closer, looking at you with his stupid puppy eyes.

"You are insufferable, Jake" you say instead. But you don't say an explicit no.

Jake takes it as a win.

"Yup, and you love it. Right?" he lets go your hand. A winning smile on his lips.

"I don't" but of course, you were lying. That was kinda fun, cause you were terrible at lying too.

"Yeah, you do. Stop deny it." he laughs softly, taking his steps back to his place of work. "Come with me tonight. Not to the club, my home" he propose.

And of course, you are going to say no. Because you have a boyfriend and you like him... right?

"Fucking hell" you say instead, nodding at his proposal.

-

Jake's flat is absolutely comfortable, and you really like it. The soft music on the back, the books, the posters. All of it. Even the plants that Jake loves.

You hate yourself for being there, anyway. You shouldn't. It was wrong. And you were going to break some poor boy heart just because you can't stay away from... him.

And even so, you accept the cup of wine that Jake gives to you. It's weirdly domestic. Too odd.

"So..." he says, lighting a cigarette for himself as he sits besides you on the couch. He left the cup rest on the little table in front of you. "I don't talk to you for a day and you get yourself a boyfriend? That's interesting" he smirk, holding the cigarette between his lips.

"Fuck off" you roll your eyes. It hasn't been a day, it has been a whole month.

He went to somewhere with Simone for vacations and didn't call at all. But that was okay, because you and him weren't dating. You were focusing on your studies and the job on the restaurant. That was all.

"Tell me about him, please. I'm dying to know" he release the smoke with a smirk. You can hear the sarcastic tone on his voice, so you don't answer to that.

"What's his name?" he insist, resting his foots on the table too.

You sigh. "His name is..."

Jake snores, loudly. Then he release the smoke again. Right into your face.

"Jesus, Jake. You're five" you finish your drink with one gulp.

"Oh, please. I don't care about your boyfriend at all, (Y/n). I only care about you and the fact that suddenly you decided to date a man" another man, Jake thought.

"I think I remember you said you don't care about me at all the last time we've been together" you raise your eyebrows, amused. "What? Are you going to tell me you're jealous now?" you tease him, turning around to face him.

He frowns, letting the cigarette rest on the table. "Yeah. I'm jealous as hell" he turns to face you. Two big hands grabbing your waist and pinning you into the couch. "I don't want anyone to have you, specially your stupid boyfriend. You should be mine"

He was talking dead serious, looking at your eyes with nothing but annoyance. He means it.

"No, you just angry because someone face you to say no. That's why." you remove his hands easily, pushing him away as you move to stand up. " You can't accept the idea of a simple no. Well let me tell you something, Jake. I'm not like the others girls that fall with your charm. Or your angry face. Or your puppy eyes"

Jake's angry face changes to an amused one. Raised eyebrow and smirk. You look at him for a moment, confused.

"Is that so?" he says, his voice sounding roughly and deep. "If you're so devoted to him, what are you doing here?" he asks, raising one hand to grab your hip and drag your body to his lap.

And you do.

Now, you were sitting peacefully in his lap like the good girl you were.

"Why would you be here if isn't because you want this as much as I want it? I want you to be mine" he was already kissing your neck as he continue talking.

Fuck, you really shouldn't.

But Jake touches you so gently, caressing your back until his fingers find the clasp of your brassier and release your boobs free under your shirt.

"And, honestly, I would miss your little cunt around my cock" you whimper with the statement, melting with his kisses and his caresses.

"It's not cheating if no one knows, right?" Jake laughs on your ear, kissing your cheek softly. You were repeating his words.

"No" he says.

His thumb pinches your nipple, while squeezing your other boob.

And, in a blink, you were riding his dick like your life depends on it. It was absolutely pornish the way your bodies together sound. How every jump make the sofa grind and how sweet Jake moans your name.

"You are so tight for me, baby. So wet, so perfect" he bites your neck and you whimper louder.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck" you can barely speak, too concentrate in following the tickles in your belly. "Ah, ah~" you close your eyes at the feeling, too close. Just a bit longer and you'll cum.

Jake hold the grip on your thighs so hard that you can actually feel his fingers marking you. But you can also feel his teeth biting you and his tongue caressing your nipples.

"Jake! Jake, Jake I--" you shiver and open your eyes to reach for his gaze. His pretty blue eyes lost in the black iris of lust. "Ah, please. Please, please. I'm-- I-" you almost cry out your moans.

"Yes, baby. Cum for me, what are you waiting?" Jake sighs, roughly. Holding you tightly as your orgasm strike. "Oh, fuck. You're so good. You feel great, all warm and wet for me" he grabs your jaw gently, reaching for a kiss. His lips were soft, but somehow he makes the kiss nasty, biting your lower lip and allowing his tongue into your mouth.

It leaves you breathless. It was too much.

And so, his fingers goes down and touch slightly your clit. You squirm, your whole body feels electrified by his touch alone. He's very much hard inside you yet, so you make an effort to keep going.

"Jake" you call, tears already falling down on your cheeks. "Jake, you're so good. C'mon, cum with me" your voice is cracked, overwhelmed by the feeling.

You shut your eyes again when the second orgasm hit you, and you can also feel the warm seed of Jake filling you. You sob, hiding your face on the crock of his neck for a moment.

It feels good. It feels right. Like you belong there.

"I came inside" he says, voice deeply and fucked.

"Yeah, I can feel you" you keep your eyes closed while he caress your back gently. If you stay like that, you'll fall asleep.

"Let me clean you"

"No, just... just a moment" you can feel yourself already dripping, but he feels so good like that. His soft cock inside you like its the normal place to be.

"Petty" he says, mocking. He kiss your forehead, moving you softly to rest on the couch.

And you just stay there while he reaches for wet towels to clean you.

"Look, your dropping all of it on my couch" he's joking, of course. But yet, you put your fingers down and grab all the fluid you can before putting it inside you again.

You see his dick twitch with the scene.

"You're a menace, d'you know that?" he laughs, cleaning the rest of you, and himself.

"Am I?" you ask, looking at him with innocent eyes. He grabs his t-shirt from the floor and gives it to you.

"Let's go to bed, shall we?" his impossible smile back on his face.

You squint. "I should go home already"

Jake looks down at you, then at the clock above. "It's fucking three am. And you're full of me inside you, I'm not letting you go" he grabs you gently and carry you as a princess to his room.

"You really wanted to say that I was full of you, right?" you ask when he let you on bed. He glances at you, smiling.

"Yes"

[dragon-kazansky]

I need to make a fic for this man 😩💕

[tsintotwo]

Okay, so here’s the fic masterpost I’ve been meaning to make for ages. Most things I write, I don’t ever name. So I’ll make do with descriptions. The list is in chronological order of me posting these on tumblr.  

1. [The Sandman]- Dream x You HELLA NSFW (minors away!) fic. I mean it- the NSFW is the plot. One day I randomly thought ‘You know what I wanna write? A little teasing-type post about kissing Morpheus.’ Then I actually started writing it, and one thing led to another, and long story short here are the links to the three-parts, completed. You’ll see for yourself. Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. 

2.  [The Sandman]- AU!Dream x You, lil dark fantasy. Finished. 

3.  [The Sandman]- Dream x You, being with Morpheus, prompted by Midnights (Taylor Swift) tracklist. Had the idea for it when Midnights came out. It was supposed to be 13 little snippets: some fluff, some angst, and just Morpheus-love overall. Well, I got to track 5 before getting distracted by some completely different idea and abandoning this. :( In that sense, it is unfinished. But on the other hand, since each track name is its own little story, it now exists as a set of five completed snippets. Tracks 1- 4. Track 5.

4. [Sweetbitter]- 59 Hours, Jake x You. (Yep, I actually wrote Sweetbitter/Jake fanfic and yep, this one actually has a name). I have this up on ao3 and this is the summary I wrote for it there:  “When a sudden blizzard in NYC ruins havoc on everything including your plans, a stranger offers you shelter in their apartment. You don't know yet, but you two are going to be stuck there together for 59 hours- knowing and learning each other, doing things you couldn't imagine with anyone else, being something for each other in a way that feels too fast, too confusing, too reckless. How do you say goodbye to this, and yet, how do you hold onto something so fragile?” Sort of a Good Girl x Bad Boy thing. Angst, smut, feels. Six chapters. Complete. TW: Drugs, mention of s**cide. 

Two things. One: I’ve had multiple people tell me that they never actually watched Sweetbitter, but loved this. So, if you haven’t watched the show, don’t let that be the thing that stops you if you’re otherwise interested. With all its B flaws and despite me not actually being a fan of the show, this is one of my most favorite things I’ve ever written. And two: HELLA NSFW WARNING!!!!!

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6.

5. [The Sandman]- Dream x Reader. (If you, as a regular human woman, ever were to meet Morpheus in the real world, it could go something like this...)

Finished.

6. [The Sandman]- Dream x Reader. (You are a Dream Vortex, he is the Lord of Dreams- you know. Your typical meet-cute. NOT.) 

Now, you’d think as a writer I’d have a better hold of things like potential story length, overall finish timeline, etc., but nope. Not at all, I am ashamed to say. This story became a behemoth, and really it’s way too much for tumblr. But I also can’t not write when there’s good material in my head just begging to be let out. So what I have now is some very long chapters and a promise of the last one. I will say there’s stuff in this dark story that I really, really love, so maybe it won’t disappoint you either if you’re actually willing to invest time reading it. TW: Graphic violence, sexual assault, r*pe, child abuse. 

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5.  

That is it, actually. I either write nothing or way too much- much like most everything else I do, but unlike most everything else I do, I can tell you that writing actually makes me feel like I know what I’m doing. When I write- be it original work or fanfic- I know my place in the world. That’s something, isn’t it?

***Later addition:

7. POV: Morpheus is obessed with you.

(What even is this? Well, at least it's finished. And NSFW, so there's that as well.)

[nyx0090]

Sweetbitter: Golden Ice

Sweetbitter [Jake x Reader/OC]

Word Count: 11.053 (and pretty proud of it).

TW: +18, smut, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (f recieving), soft!Jake. Use of Y/N. Fem!Reader.

A/n: I think I made Jake's character more soft than actually intended but I like him like this too. I'm very proud of this work even if some parts don't exactly convince me bc it's the first work I manage to finish in years so.

It is edited but if still there are mistakes please excuse them. I hope you'll like it.

Spotify Playlist some of the songs are actually in the series and some, I think, fit the vibes of the series. These inspired this whole fic so if someone wants to listen to them while reading feel free.

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At a certain point every night seems the same: get changed, get the food, smile and be polite, change again and go home. But sometimes this normality, this routine, helps especially having lived many years running around cause mom and dad always had to get transferred for work and I never got to settle as I wanted. Never had friends that lasted more than a couple of weeks, maybe a month before I never heard from them again. Not being able to find secret spots or hang out with people my age, I was always present at important events and meeting.

“This is going to be useful for your future, you’ll have time for friends, maybe” this is what mom and dad always told me.

Stability is what I always longed for and now I got it, sometimes it's boring and sometimes it simply reminds me that this is what I wanted after running left and right in all America. After not being able to actually know someone.

To keep things interesting, I sang at a place, a wonderful jazz bar, the Golden Ice, once in a while, when they needed. I sang there all night, got a few free drinks, got changed and went back home. Getting away from the drama at the restaurant because I felt that the more I stayed away, the better.

Tonight was no different. I had to work at the restaurant and then grab my things and go sing for a while in a place that seemed a completely different world, and it kind of was compared to Home Bar. Or the restaurant.

I only had one problem, that little problem being a 5'9-man, black hair and many tattoos. Jake got "interest" (if it can be called that seeing who Jake is), apparently, in following me some nights when he probably was bored, had no one to get laid with and didn't want to Home Bar.

As if I wouldn’t notice.

I did not know the reason but all I knew is that his timing in ‘stalking’ was annoyingly impeccable. I mean I only went to two places: the jazz bar and a sort of library open 24/7 in which you enter only with a pass that is given to clients who are interested, grab a book and then decide if you stay there or want to go home. It’s like being in an office but you get to read and have a good time. And Jake always, always managed to follow me when I went to the bar.

Tonight, I had to sing right after the shift at the restaurant and had to fly there almost. And I knew, knowing my luck, that he would have followed me. Maybe I was being too sneaky and that just piqued his curiosity. All I knew was that he was annoying at how well he picked the nights I wanted to keep most secret.

I didn't want anyone at the restaurant to know about me singing. Don’t get me wrong it’s not because its them: I love that group of crazy coworkers I have but I considered it nothing special and I preferred no one to know anyway. That included Jake.

《So... how is the night going?》 Jake asked, cleaning a few glasses and starting drinks.

《As always: many clients, some bullshit and I can't wait to go home.》 I answered opening bottles and replacing some caps for Nicky and him to use later.

He shrugged and a small smirk lifted his lips.

《What about yours?》 I said in return placing the bottles back where they should be.

《Nothing much either. Will you come to Home Bar later?》 he suddenly asked.

《No, I'll just go home. I want to lay down and sleep so bad.》 I yawned to get the point across and hope he would go to Home Bar and not follow me.

He nodded before going back to prepare some drinks while I finished up the bottles.

Once finished I went to get some ice seeing they were running low on it. While I was getting that I already planned the path I had to walk to the bar and pick the one that would have a bar allow me to go out the back and get rid of Jake.

I went back upstairs and left the ice to Jake before going to the kitchen and go on with the same routine, bringing plates and being polite.

Jake's eyes kept following me through the night. I kind of understood what he wanted from me: he wanted a good fuck. Just like he did with everyone else. But I was not willing to give that. He might be handsome and attractive, but a pretty face was not enough for me.

Talking might have gotten him more far, but he didn't seem the type.

I didn't mind the ‘friendship’ we developed tho: joking, teasing sometimes and helping each other. Talking a bit during shifts and passing some alcohol under the table. Terrible jokes and playful insults. I liked that, it felt right for us.

At the end of the night, I changed in the outfit I would have worn to the jazz bar and covered it with my long black coat. October temperatures did not forgive already, and it was the perfect excuse. Once I was all covered up and ready to go, I headed downstairs.

《Bye guys! Have fun at Home Bar!》 I chirped, waving my way to the door.

《You're not coming with us? Come on!》 Ari said, already a bit tipsy as always.

《Sorry dear, I'm super tired tonight and don't have the right outfit anyway.》 I answered going up to her and hugging her.

Then I was off. After a few blocks I heard Jake following me.

'Perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect. How does he have such timing?' I thought. I started to walk faster towards my only saving way out of here.

When I entered the chaotic bar I spotted a dear friend of mine, Michelle, and she brought me to the back door without questions.

Jake could not follow me to the back from inside the bar and even if he got outside, he would have lost some time before catching up, giving me time to slip away to work.

As I went, I kept thinking how to approach him about it. It would be fun to see his face when I would ask why does he follow me. I smiled to myself before turning into an alley and going in through the back.

《There you are! I was worried something happened to you!》 came Ambra, a sweet 30 years old small woman, hugging me and cupping my face in her hands turning it left and right before hugging me again. She would have sung with me tonight as many other nights and she was already almost finished with her outfit and make-up.

《Had to get rid of my little friend.》 I shrugged as we went to my changing room to get make-up on.

《Why don't you just tell him if he seems so interested?》 Ambra questioned as I sat down in the chair.

《Cause I don't want people at work to know. I don't have to tell them anything - I defended – and besides he could just ask me instead of following me around like a creep.》 I concluded and closed my eyes as she applied my eye make-up. Then she went away to get the last things ready too and I finished by myself. Some time was saved having worn my dress before.

I wore another pair of shoes and just went off to the stage.

When we started to sing the small crowd of the bar started to cheer and we started to just have fun too. I was always a little nervous before a performance, no matter how many times I did it. And to be able to sing along side Ambra whom had the most beautiful voice was always a pleasure and an honor.

She was way more experienced than me for sure and yet never looked down on me for it. She was like a second mom to me or a big sister.

When the night was finished, and I got changed in a more comfortable outfit I went to the bar to bid goodnight to everyone and found my usual drink waiting for me as a thank you from the owner who work as a bartender there.

《Thank you Rick!》 I called out. He gave me a thumbs up as a response before finishing up with cleaning. When I was done, I got my things, said goodbye again and went home.

I got to a bus stop and waited for mine. While waiting and to make the time pass a bit faster, I put on my old earphones.

Soon the bright lights of the bus announced its arrival, I hopped on, ready for a pretty long ride. Usually from the restaurant I could go home walking, it was a bit long, but I could manage. From here was straight off too long and I did not had the energy.

.

The next day went pretty well. Running errands in the morning, taking a good long bath and then getting ready to work as always.

When I came in Jake was almost finished changing and I started to take off my jacket. I could see a mile away he wanted to ask me something, continuously looking behind his shoulder. But he couldn’t, I didn’t know nothing for him, and I said I always went home after work so what would there be to ask?

I had to stifle a giggle at how frustrated he looked when he went out. To go this much just so he could get laid seemed a bit much even for him. There were plenty of girls who he could hook up with.

‘Maybe he was just bored.’

I shrugged it off before finishing up and getting out. Luckly tonight I did not have to go anywhere so a good book and a cozy tea at home were awaiting me. Or maybe I could join humanity and go to Home Bar with the others.

I helped with putting down the tables, getting some saltshakers and the flowers watered to be sure they looked fresher.

Then the restaurant opened, and I got the coats to put away. It was probably the most relaxing task because it was a quiet space, but it always lasted way too little.

《Hey could you back up?》 Tess asked me, three plates already in hand. I immediately went to her and helped bringing the plates to the table.

《Have I seen you somewhere?》 one of the man at the table asked looking at me. Of course, he knew me being a fucking regular at the other bar.

'Could one thing go right?'

《I'm afraid you are mistaking me for someone else, sir.》 I politely answered, Tess eyes scrutinizing me.

I just kept looking at the men and when the silence became too long, I added 《Very well, enjoy your meal!》

We went away from the table. I had no time for this tonight, and I knew Tess was going to ask questions.

We weren't even into the kitchen when she started bombarding me

《Are you sure he was wrong or just didn't want to tell in front of me?》 she teased.

《No Tess, I don't know him. It must have been a genuine mistake.》 I said stopping at the bar and asking for a shot of rum.

《Oh, come on! He is pretty handsome too. What are you hiding?》 she kept teasing as I chugged down the liquid to get the edge off. It was going to be a stressful night then.

《Nothing Tess, I seriously don't know him! Never seen him in my life.》 I said getting back to work. Jake was nowhere to be found. Better.

In no time the whole kitchen and not knew about this slip up and I was done for. Everyone kept asking questions.

《He seems good for you. You know there is nothing bad with it right? You can tell us.》 Ari teased and Heather agreed.

《What you bitches talking about?》 came in Sasha who, extraordinarily, still did not know.

《Y/N's new man at table 14.》 Ari said with a smirk.

《Oh, my God. He is not my man, ok? I don't know him! He just has mistaken me for someone else!》

I said on the verge of asking the third or fourth rum of the night. And we were only halfway through the shift. A hand went down my face, exhausted.

Maybe no humanity or Home Bar tonight.

When I went out of the kitchen, I spotted Nicky and asked another shot of rum.

《You sure you're okay?》 he asked a bit worried about my alcohol consumption tonight. Usually I went to one, two shots three if it was a rough night but almost coming up to four or five was new for him.

《Yeah, simply everyone being absolutely exhausting about a man who mistook me for someone else.》 I answered 'honestly' drinking fast before Howard could catch me.

Right at that time the table I helped Tess earlier started to get up and towards us, giving me the number for the coat closet.

《Are you sure we haven't met before?》 he asked one more time taking his coat from my hands and wearing it.

《Absolutely positive sir.》 I said with a smile.

When they were gone, and I turned around Jake was watching me.

I wanted to crash my head in the nearest wall, now he is not going to let me be, ever.

《Do you know him?》 he asked as he cleaned some more glasses.

《Nope, never seen him. He got a crab thinking I was someone he knew.》

And with that I went away back to the kitchen. He kept boring holes for the rest of the night into my back and I was this close to punch him in the face.

Definitely no humanity or Home Bar.

‘Fuck it, I'm going home to tea and books.’

I thought as I got changed, fighting with the last three buttons of my shirt with my trembling hands.

《Oh, Lord》 I groaned still trying. ‘Why, why did I drink so much?’  At the end I managed to drink around seven shots. I was not drunk but definitely tipsy if I could not undo three damn buttons. I gave up and went to the small sink to splash a bit of water on my face to freshen up. It kind of worked, my hands were still trembling but at least I got out of my stirpes.

When I finished changing, Jake entered the room. I said nothing and went out with my much more comfortable long skirt and blouse on and my bag and coat in hand.

《I’m going home, bye guys.》 I announced near the door not getting anything anymore to drink. A chorus of ‘bye’s’ went with me out the door. I put on my long black, comfy coat and I was off to the library.

I took out my pass key at the door, swiped it and went in. I took a deep breath enjoy the smell of books and some aromatic candle still lingering after a whole day of burning.

The relaxing music underneath was very nice and helped get cozy. I went with some old novel, The Picture of Dorian Grey. I’ve read it many times now, but it was not the night to engage in some new reading, not with this much alcohol in me and so little concentration.

.

When I got up to go home and bring the book with me it was around 2 am so I called it a day. I left a little note for Martina for the next morning and went off. It was starting to really get cold in New York, so I wore my coat and made my way through an enormous crowd of people for it to be 2 am and somewhere I got a glimpse of Jake.

‘Nah, I must be wrong. I need to sleep’ but when I looked again there he was.

I tried my best to look away fast and concentrate to the task at hand – going home – as much as I could so he would not notice me but right at that time he turned around and made eye contact with me.

Now, he definitely saw me there.

‘Oh Lord. Really?’ I just ignored him and went on to my house to get that sleep I needed after maybe a few more chapters.

.

Needless to say, it was not a few more chapters. I finished the book and when I placed it on the side my alarm read 5.30 in the morning, and it should have went off at 7.

With a big headache I got up at 2 pm and got done what I could before taking a much-needed shower and preparing for work.

Once there I greeted everyone before going to the locker room and sitting on the sofa not before wetting my handkerchief and placing it over my eyes.

‘Damn headache. Never again am I reading that late or drinking that much.’

《Are you dead or what?》 Jake asked.

《For now I just am.》 I answered tiredly, my headache was not going to give me peace for the whole night.

I jolted when he closed his locker went away. I took off the wet thing from my eyes and changed too.

《Why were you out so late last night?》 he asked as I was going through the flowers. I smiled, expecting that question. I turned around, placed my hands on the counter separating us and looked him dead in the eyes.

《Why did you followed me like a creep two nights ago? And many nights before that too?》 he was stunned to say the least, his mouth hanging open like a fish. I took my mop bar and went away.

For the rest of the night we didn’t talk, just said coworker things. ‘We are running low on ice’, ‘Could you bring up a bottle Riesling’ and stuff like that.

At least he didn’t have that stupid grin on tonight, I, on the other hand, smiled like an idiot all night for this little success.

.

《You coming to Home Bar tonight?》 Heather asked as I sat down to take a Negroni. I looked down at my outfit – the

usual long skirt with a sweater this time – and back up at her.

《Don’t think I’m dressed appropriately for Home Bar but sure, why not?》 I said and cheers raised.

《Boring white woman is coming with us tonight.》 Sasha added above the chaos. I laughed, looking at them getting up and I chugged down what was left of my drink.

《It’s incredible how you never once skip asking me to come with you. Am I really that boring for your standards?》 I playfully inquired. Ari placed an arm around my shoulders, thinking about it.

《Maybe – she concluded – I mean you are probably super fun but we have never seen that side of you.》 she added.

《That hurt my feeling - I answered feigning hurt - when have I ever gave you guys the impression I'm not fun.》 I said. Ari and Heather looked at me up and down before answering.

《By the way you dress, for example.》 they said together.

《It's comfortable, you should try it.》 I retorted playfully.

《You never come to Home Bar or any other party, during shifts drink you take always the same thing and then you are off to sleep. Not even my grandma is that boring.》 Ari kept going on, the amused tone telling me she didn't mind one bit.

《Wow - I said - well I prefer I glass of wine at home rather than get waisted every night.》 I retorted again.

When we reached Home Bar everyone scattered everywhere: to dance, to drink, to do drugs and to fuck. I went to the bartender and asked again for a Negroni and a bottle of water. I got that to the table where Jake and Will were sitting and also Heather, but she got up and went away a couple of minutes prior.

I took a seat and started to drink looking at people dancing, drinking, making out, many probably high on drugs or drunk but they looked like they were enjoying themselves, a lot.

《I'm going to the bathroom.》 Will announced.

An awkward silence settled between me and Jake.

《Are you not asking me anymore questions now?》 I said still not looking at him. He kept silent so I turned around and looked at him.

《How did you find me out?》 he asked with confidence.

《Well it was very easy actually and if you are a stalker in your free time let me tell you: you suck, a lot. Change hobby, really.》 I said playfully. A small chuckle left his lips, and my eyes fell there for a second before going back to anywhere in the room.

《Why did you follow me tho? You could have asked instead of being a creep and scared the shit out of me the first time. I was about to call the police.》 I told him, more seriously this time.

《I got curious. Why did you never come with us to Home Bar or parties? Why you never stayed more than needed during shift drinks?》 he said. I looked at him not entirely convinced.

《Are you sure you simply weren't bored and decided to do something stupid?》 I offered. I was not really buying the curiosity thing. Knowing Jake there could have been a thousands more reasons but this one was the less convincing.

He shrugged looking around a bit too before asking again 《Would you have let me come with you if I asked?》 completely ignoring my question.

《No.》

《Why not?》

《What I do after work doesn't necessarily have to be your or anyone else's business. I can keep private some things.》 I snapped at him a bit.

《So you did know that man.》 he inquired. I looked at him shocked. If I didn't punch him tonight I would never again even try.

《Is this what all of this is about?》 I asked skeptically.

He didn't answer and I took a sip of my drink.

《Will you ever bring me with you where ever it is you go?》 he asked again.

《I don't understand why are you so curious. What if I do a simple second job as a waitress? There is nothing interesting about it.》 I said.

《You didn't answer my question.》 I looked at him up and down and remained silent. He says that? After all he deliberately didn't answer to me?

《From whom this comes - I retorted keeping the glass near my lips - and maybe. I don't take strangers around with me like it's nothing.》 I offered sincerely. He simply nodded. Sometime after Will came back from wherever he actually went, and I went to bid goodnight to all those I could find and headed back home hoping for the best.

.

For the next few days, we still talked very little. After that the ice started to crack and we started to talk a bit more, I went once more to Home Bar and we had fun talking and assuming about the people around us.

I had some more nights at Rick’s, and he didn’t follow which I took as a success.

《So, how are you doing?》 I asked him one night before the opening time while I was putting away glasses and bottles.

《I should be the one asking you.》 he answered cleaning some shakers and strainers.

I eyed him suspiciously, not understanding if it was an insult of some sorts.

《Have you slept one hour in… I don’t know, a week? You look like a panda.》 he answered not looking at me.

I was behind some hours of sleep having done some more shifts and staying up late more nights than I should have

reading but I didn’t think it showed that much.

《Oh. I thought I covered it enough.》 I whispered more to myself than him and he didn’t say anything else.

He didn't say anything after that.

During the shift I was a bit like a zombie, but I managed taking a pause when I felt on the verge of sleeping where I was standing. Like now, I was wetting my handkerchief to pass it on my face in hope it would wake me up when a locker was closed behind me and I jumped on the spot. When I turned around, I saw Jake and Simone.

《Are you alright?》 the blonde asked me.

《Yes, yes I'm fine. Running low on sleep.》 I said showing her the wet little thing in my hands. I went to sit down and placed it on my forehead and eyes.

《Could one of you stay here with me? I need just five minutes but wouldn't want to actually fall asleep.》 I asked hoping one of them could stay.

《Yes, of course.》 Simone answered me. I sighed and relaxed on the couch. Right when I did that, I felt sleep clawing my mind and body.

‘Yep, tonight no reading, no nothing. Just sleep.’

At a certain point someone lifted the wet cloth off my eyes, and I whined at the low light disturbing me. A whine left my lips as I tried to place it back down.

《Come on, you said five minutes and they are up.》 a deep voice talked from beside me. I cracked an eye open and scoffed, getting up and going to the sink to wash my face.

 《Are you sure you can keep going for three more hours like this?》 he asked looking at me and getting up too.

《I've been through it all this time, might as well finish it. Three hours are nothing really.》 I said. It would have been three more hours, but they will be done sooner that I can count so no need to get cut now.

《Everyone is tired, that does not entitle me to nothing. Besides I'm the reason for my own sleepiness so, no one to blame but oneself.》I added, sighing and squeezing the wet cloth before placing it in my locker to try and dry it off.

I took a deep breath before turning around and going off with Jake on my heel.

.

As expected, the three hours went on slow but not unbearably so and when I got finally changed, I flew out the restaurant bidding a quick goodnight.

When my apartment lock clicked behind me, I went immediately to the shower, taking a very quick one, and just went to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was sound asleep.

The next day I woke up very late probably around 12, didn’t really looked at the clock and wandered around my apartment for my kitchen and some water. Decided to put on some music to wake up a bit and get some chores done before getting a better shower than last night and preparing for work. Tonight, I was excited since after it I had my day off and could not wait for it. I would be staying at home, or I would have gone to the library while the night I was going to Rick’s bar to talk a bit and see if he had some plans for me already for the next few weeks.

So, I spent the few hours I had left putting away some book and decided to make a run to the library to give back some books I had stacked at home for a while and that I finished.

《And this is the last one.》 I said to Martina with an apologetic tone. In total I had to return 20 books and when she saw me with a full bag, she was definitely not ready for this.

《Thank God. I thought they would never finish.》 she said sighing then placed the book in a basket behind her giving me the possibility to admire her beautiful ginger locks cascading on her back. She was a young girl, like me and she was breathtakingly beautiful, her mind sharp as a razor and sly as a fox. She was a great friend I made not too long after coming to New York.

《Sorry, been coming in mostly during the night.》 I explained to her folding my bag and placing it into another one.

《No wonder you look like shit.》 Ah, always so honest.

《Not the first time I hear it this week.》 I answered ready to go off to the restaurant.

《Must be true then. But seriously, take care.》 she said at the end.

《Will try. You too.》 I said and went off.

.

Right outside the restaurant Sasha and Ari were smoking something and offered me too, to which I declined. Ari scoffed and rolled her eyes while Sasha kept smoking, minding his businesses.

I then entered and went to change. As always, I gave a look at the flowers and rearranged them a bit if needed.

As always, it was a pretty good night, not many assholes, a lot of tips. Me and Jake talked a bit, joked and had our fun.  Until a client decided to be very rude with me and Heather, in front of Howard. I kept my mouth shut as tightly as I could knowing he would have taken care of everything when he sent me and Heather back to kitchen.

《I have no words! Did you hear what he said to us? In front of Howard no less – exclaimed her. I looked at her and just went on with my work. – Are not gonna say anything?》

《I’m trying to say nothing cause if I start I’m going out of here and kicking that idiot out myself.》 I answered. To be that stupid and not be able to see it by yourself it’s embarrassing. I took a deep breath and just went on with the night, we hadn’t much more, and I wanted to finish.

Now everything was going bad: the way I got down the steps, the song that was on, the way someone called me over for something. I felt on edge and a bath was going to remedy that a bit, I hoped.

As soon as the shift ended, I got changed at light speed, bid goodnight to who was there and went home. I almost didn’t even take off my shoes before going to the bathroom and start the water.

The steam raising and filling the bathroom was calming by itself. When I got in, I melted and for a second, I thought I would fallen asleep in there. In my mind popped up again the idiot of tonight and it was so disrespectful, I’m happy Howard was there and dealt with everything because that was simply unacceptable.

I shrugged it off and didn’t let it ruin my hot bath.

Then it was time for bed, so I got out of the tub, applied my skincare and went to bed without much else, just wanted to sleep it off.

- Three Months Later -

I liked so much winter in New York. It was cold and allowed me to wear longer skirts and my heavy black coat and I felt amazing wearing those.

In the past few weeks, me and Jake talked a lot, we hanged out. Not much, really, just a coffee here and there, going for breakfast or the shitty diners he loved so much.

After that I thought a lot, pondering on if I should have brought him with me to Rick’s.

It was clear that his invitations were made to not be a stranger anymore and even if I just scratched the surface. Then I decided I would have brought him along.

Hence why I wrote the bar name and the address to the bar in the morning, looking at that piece of paper and giving it my very last thoughts. I still had time since he knew nothing. He really tried and I saw that even if he came along it would not have been so bad. When it was time to go out, I took that little note I put extra care in writing for some silly motive and went to the restaurant.

I got changed quickly and placed the note in the pocket of my pants. I would have given that to him at some point of the shift or before going home.

‘Maybe.’

《Don’t make me regret this. 》I whispered to him as I handed the small piece of paper. He looked intrigued and just slipped it in his pocket, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and went on with work, feeling vaguely nervous. It was the first time ever someone heard me sing, well, someone I knew. At home my family knew of this, and I always liked to sing for them but here in New York I had no one close to me to that point and so no one knew. Only Howard because sometimes I needed to go out early and he had to know, so it was for strictly professional reasons.

When I got changed into the outfit for the night to save time when I could my hands were a bit sweaty.

‘Oh, come on. I sing in front of so many people every night and I’m getting nervous about a pretty boy. This is ridiculous.’

《Good night everyone!》 I said taking my shot of rum fast since I already had my coat on and closed. 

《Night!》 everyone shouted as I got out. I went out fast no seeing Jake.

‘I mean maybe he would not have come.’

I stopped for a second thinking about the fact that he could already have something else to do or simply did not accept my invitation. So, I was getting nervous for nothing. It left a slightly bitter taste on my tongue after all the hanging out for him to not come.

I shrugged it off. It was silly, was it not me this morning who still had doubts about asking him? It’s only fair if he doesn’t come.

I started to walk since I had not time to lose. After a few blocks I noticed someone following me and a silly smile made its way on my face. I stopped to let him catch up to me.

《I already informed you how you are absolutely shit in stalking right?》 I asked in a playful tone.

《Well this time I have an invitation.》 he said smirking, waiving into my face the same note I gave him a couple of hours ago.

《And didn’t I say to not make me regret it?》 I said glaring at him. I took advantage to check how he was dressed: he had a nice white shirt on, no tie, with the first couple of button undone. Black pants and a nice pair of shoes.

《You did not came in tonight dressed like this. Where did you get these clothes?》 I asked while looking at the red light waiting for it to turn green and also at the display of my phone to be sure I was on time.

《Kept them in the locker hoping you would invite me.》 he answered honestly and at that moment the light turned green not giving me the possibility to look at him as all the people started to move, pushing me into doing the same.

Soon enough, we were at the bar. He went in from the front and I got in from the back. As soon as the door of our changing room closed the warm voice of Ambra accompanied me, asking me how work was.

《Good. We have a special guest tonight.》 I said while applying mascara.

She stopped everything she was doing and turned to look at me since special guest might have meat anything really.

When I didn’t turn around to look at her and simply went on its like something clicked.

《Is it the boy?》 she asked, gasping excitedly.

《It is him.》 I answered happy to see her this exited. She squealed like a puppy toy and went into hugging me and jumping around.

《You know I just invited him here to hear me sing right? Nothing else.》 I told her applying the blush and going to grab my lipstick. She looked at me up and down, stopping her celebration all together.

《Famous last words.》 she coughed before going to sit back down. I rolled my eyes and gave her that finishing upvmy make up and ccurling my hair before putting them up. When I went to get up and went to the door, she stopped me.

《Oh no, no, no. You are not wearing that. – she said looking at my dress. It was old and worn out, the rich brown color a bit faded and I used it since I started to work here. It was a piece of my mum I always kept with me, but I also understood it looked like its age – I have the perfect dress for you.》 she said going through her own wardrobe to take out a deep purple dress. It had a layer of black at the end of the skirt were the rich purple silk-like fabric turned chiffon. And it added a lot of dimension. It was a bit longer than my usual dress, this one practically at the floor. The back was cut very low, no straps and a bold neckline too. I undid my hair leaving them down and moving the line to one side, letting them brush behind my back and all over one of my shoulder, the other one free.

《It’s a while I wanted to give you this dress. After a couple of kids my body has definitely changed, and I gained some weight too – she added with a giggle. She was still slaying, and she knew – so I’m giving it to you. I wouldn’t fit into it anymore even if I tired.》 she reassured me even before I spoke.

《Are you sure? It’s so beautiful. I mean you could get it fitted.》 I kept looking at the mirror absolutely mesmerized by the sight of myself: I looked absolutely beautiful.

《It would cost me more than buying another dress. Beside that was never really my color anyway.》 she said finishing herself up too. She was wearing a black dress with some blue accents, her short black hair curled, framing her sweet face.

And then we were off to the stage to sing.

The sweet, beautiful notes of Wake Up Alone started to play introduced by Ambra. Then I took on. We kept on switching during the song, the ladies doing the back voices doing a great job as always.

We sang for the whole night while I tried to spot Jake in the bar and not finding him. Disappointment made its way in me and took a hold of my heart, but I tried to not think about it. I was beautiful, the night was beautiful and I was singing. Nothing else counted right now.

When we were done with the live singing, I felt light so me and Ambra went laughing at the bar and asked Rick for something to drink. Ambra was telling me something, but I was only half listening, looking for Jake around the place.

《Good evening.》 Jakes voice called from behind us. We both turned around, and I looked at him, honestly a bit surprised he was still here since I could not make him out in the small, crowded place.

《Hey. – I could feel Ambra shift beside me wanting to say something but refraining – so, what do you think? As interesting as you thought it would be?》 I asked while leaning back a bit on the counter behind me, taking a sip of my drink. He took a small step forward, checking me out.

《I understand why you never said this to anybody, for sure – he answered – and if I have to be honest it’s more interesting than I expected.》 he concluded.

《I’m happy you liked it. It goes without saying that I would prefer if this stayed between me and you, yes?》 I told him finishing my drink. He simply nodded looking around, absorbing the place.

《In how much does your shift ends?》 he raised him voice a bit, the music starting now a bit loud to talk normally.

《Not much more actually but before – I said getting up and turning to Ambra, offering her a dance – I promised this beautiful lady a dance. If it gets too late or you get bored feel free to go home whenever you want.》 I told him. Then a silly smile was on my face as Ambra followed me hand in hand in the crowd to dance a bit.

《Is that him?》 she exclaimed. I nodded and spun her around.

《Girl. That is a fine young man over there.》 she said and I agreed with her. Jake was handsome for sure, and he did show interest in this 《I hope he will not get distant now that he knows.》 I sighed. She gave me a smile and a few pats on my back. Then we had to hop back on stage for a bit more live singing.

《Thank you as always ladies. Great night tonight too.》 Rick complimented as me and Ambra went to say goodbye.

《Thank you too Rick. It’s a pleasure to sing in such a place.》 Ambra said and I agreed. After that we bid our goodnights and went out.

Jake was waiting for me outside and when Ambra spotted him she elbowed me not so delicately to which I glared at her and she looked at me apologetically, giving me a big hug and winking at me. I sighed at that and said bye to her too.

《You have a great voice by the way.》 he said at a certain point while we were walking.

《Thank you. Been singing since I was a child, so I brought that with me. Something familiar to rely on – I confessed to him – and where exactly are we going?》 I asked noticing we were going back to the restaurant.

《Home?》 he obviously stated.

《No shit Sherlock, I’m going to mine and you to yours.》 I stated. Once we were in front of it, we stopped.

《Goodnight then.》 he said. I nodded and bid him goodnight one last time. I turned around and took a few steps before turning back again to look at him skeptically to which he looked at me confused.

《Are you going to follow me?》 I asked. He simply smirked saying 《I’ll keep you on your toes.》 turning around and walking away.

A confused smile made its way on my face and after a second, I walked away back home.

.

Since that night me and Jake became even more close. We started hanging out even more, going to places that meant more for both of us, talking a bit of ourselves, not much, especially him but he tried. He just needed someone to talk to, he needed to be listened, and I just did that.

One night he took me to a bar he loved, pretty secluded and that didn’t have a lot of people, but the atmosphere was nice and calming. The place was beautiful too: an old bar that had a very French style in dark colors and a lot of wood, its smell still lingering in the air along with other sweet scents and faint alcohol. The drinks were amazing, and we had a great time talking about our interests, what we liked and what we didn’t like. The books we read, the artists we admire and our favorite drinks while we were there. Then he accompanied me back home where we parted.

In return, and since we both liked to read a lot from what I gathered, I showed him the library. We went there after a rough night and took a book each, sitting down while I made some tea for the both of us and started reading, appreciating each other’s company. When it started to get very late, we took the books and went out talking about what we read these past hours.

Soon I realized that I didn’t mind passing my time with him and a bit later I accepted I was starting to have feelings for him. Once we used our day off to get a backpack to go to Cold Spring, a beautiful town I wanted to visit for a while, and it was not even that far from New York.

That morning, we took a train at 5, so early that it had very few people in it, granting silence to which both me and Jake fell asleep listening to music. The train ride was about an hour, so we didn’t get that much rest but was better than nothing.

We were both dressed comfortably, him with trousers and a sweater and I opted for a more appropriate outfit for walking lot too with a pair of pants and a jumper. I also choose a different coat than the one I wore in the city, opting for a knee-length dark grey one that kept me very warm. When we got off the first thing we did was to find a bar in which we could have breakfast.

The day was about going around as much as possible, so we visited the many churches and appreciated the beauty of them taking many photos, me with my sad phone camera while Jake had his camera with him and took most certainly much better photos than me.

《Will you send me the photos you took later?》 I asked while he was taking another. He nodded and we went on.

It was almost lunch time, so we looked for a parc that was not too crowded and then started to eat in silence. I loved the smell of nature and the bird singing.

While we were still in the town, we also went to a bookstore and grabbed a souvenir: I bought a couple of books, a notebook and a bookmark and he got only the books.

Then it was time to go to the lake. We took a long stroll in the small forest surrounding it and my mind went to much warmer weather where I could come here again and take a bath, or even rent an apartment for a couple of days to disconnect from the city. If he wanted, he could come too, a bit of company would not be that bad. The stroll took longer than anticipated and when we went back in town to look for a nice place to have dinner it was already dark even if it was only around 6 pm.

The temperature dropped drastically, and we opted for a place where we could stay as long as possible to get warm. Between a chat and a warm meal, it was already 9 so we decided to go for the last walk and look at some of the decorative light still hanging from Christmas celebrations.

The streets were more crowded than during the day, so Jake offered me his arm which I took happily, and we walked some more.

Soon it became colder and darker, so we choose to call it a day and go take the train. It was around 10:30 when we took our and we should have been back by midnight.

《Did you had fun today?》 I asked tiredly, yawning right after and getting comfortable in my seat.

《Yes it was very nice, and I took good pictures too.》 he answered going through said photos a bit.

《Mhm, I’m glad.》 I whispered before I dozed off but couldn’t fall asleep. I kept going from asleep to waking up a bit and look around to understand where we were from out of the window.

《Hey, we have to get off.》 a voice called, pulling my arm a bit to get me to wake up. I whined and got a bit more comfortable.

‘Not now that I finally fell asleep…’ another thug made me open my eyes to glare at the source to find Jake. A bit dizzy and confused I got up letting him lead the way, dragging me out with my hand in his.

When we got out of the train cold air surrounded me unexpectedly. I went right away to close my coat better.

Jake dragged me out the station and into the city. Sleep and dizziness didn’t let go of me and noticing it, he slowly walked me home even if I didn’t realize it until I was at my front door and he asked 《Where are your keys?》 to which I looked at him and opened my backpack, muscle memory of where I always put my keys when I had it kicking in.

Jake made me the favor of opening the door of my apartment for me and lightly pushing me in. I took off my coat slowly and then went for my shoes. When I finally got them off, I went for my bed and just let myself fall on it.

I adjusted my body to a more comfortable position and right when I was falling asleep, I heard the door of my apartment close softly.

.

The next morning, I woke up late. Yesterday was a long day even if I had a lot of fun and it’s been a while since I last made such a trip. When I went to the kitchen a small note was waiting for me on the table. I started to prepare a coffee and then took the small piece of paper.

I left your keys at the entrance.

-Jake

I folded it back and placed it in a stack of notes in my desk. After my coffee I took all the things I brought with me yesterday from the backpack and placed them back where they should be, loading the dishwasher and starting the washing machine.

With some music in the background, I started to read a book, the one I got that night with Jake at the library. The ones I bought yesterday must wait until I finish this one.

And so, between music and books, it was time to go back to work.

《I heard you went out of city yesterday?》 Simone told me while I changed.

《Mm? Oh yeah, wanted to go out of New York for a while now and yesterday was the perfect day to do so.》 I answered nonchalantly, wearing my pants.

A long pause stretched between us. I had nothing else to say really so I just kept quiet but apparently, she wanted to press on.

《And did you went alone?》

《Simone – I called her out with a flat tone – if you already know I did not went alone don’t ask and if it bothers you just tell me.》 I said, buttoning up my stripes.

《It doesn’t bother me, was just asking.》 she replied.

 I didn’t understand what the point was if the first thing Jake did was run to her and tell her everything. I liked Simone as long as she didn’t put her nose in my business which happened more often now that me and Jake were hanging out.

And I didn’t like that. But she seemed off, been like this for a while now.

I closed my locker and went out, right in that moment Jake was coming up and I gave him a small smile.

《Thank you for the keys. And the note.》

《No problem.》

And I was off.

The night went on well as expected. It was like I never got a day off and of course I was updated on all the latest gossip by Ari and Sasha.

As always, we laughed a lot, and I felt like the restaurant was more wholesome. So tonight, I smiled more, I was more polite and even warmer with the guests. It felt a bit like home. And under certain lights it was.

.

《I don’t know why I prefer rum, okay? I just do.》 I said to Jake as I sat on the counter with the drink he just did in hand.

《There has to be some sort of reason. It’s like a drink: you have reasons of why you prefer a certain drink rather than another.》 he said as he poured his own drink.

《Ah! That is not true, in a drink you mix different flavors, so the alcohol is blended in them.》 I corrected him taking a sip of my very well done Negroni. He shrugged and started to drink his own, leaning on the counter next to me.

A long, comfortable silence stretched on as I listened to the music in the background and just swung my feet to the bits of an ending song. When the first notes of Koop Island Blues started, I drank a bit more before getting up and dragging Jake with me.

《Don’t care if you don’t dance. You do now.》 I said taking his hand and placing it on my waist while I placed mine on his shoulder. He smirked before pulling me closer and I felt my cheeks grow warm, butterflies raising in my stomach. And then we started dancing slowly to the song. I looked at him in the eyes for the whole time and I got lost in them. Maybe it was the drink, maybe the nice night at work, maybe something else but for a bit everything disappeared, it was just me and him, dancing and drinking. And it felt good, dreamy. In my life I’ve never felt this close with someone else.

I had nights that felt like a dream, friends by my side as we danced all night, but I never had experienced something so different and almost intimate by just looking at each other, fully clothed, dancing. And we were just dancing, that’s what made it so beautiful. He spun me a couple of times, and when I was back, he pulled me closer, just a bit, his hand going more to the center of my back, and butterflies would rise all over again. And I knew that it could be not right but at the same time it was okay. I cared for him deeply and I trusted him, hopefully he trusted me too. Sometime during the dance, I brought both my hands on his shoulders, and his hand found my waist. He caressed that part before hugging me, never stopping the dance. I hugged him too, sighing in content.

Then he pulled away, kissing my cheek and looking deeply into my eyes, getting slightly closer, his eyes slipping to my lips a few times.

When our mouths touched, we both melted in the contact. After a bit his hands took a hold of my hips before he lifted me to wrap my legs around his waist and walked towards the counter, placing me there so I could sit, never pulling away once. His hands went everywhere, my back, my legs covered by the long, light skirt, my arms and hands which he also kissed before going back to my mouth and deepening the kiss, pulling me impossibly close.

As he pulled away so we could both catch our breath I caressed the nape of his neck, keeping my eyes closed and just relishing in the moment.

A moan got caught in my throat when he kissed me again, slowly this time.

I felt myself becoming wet and hot when I felt his erection press up against me, a whine getting caught in his own throat. He lifted me up again, his mouth moving to my neck too 《Bedroom.》 he whispered in my ear before biting the skin on my neck.

《F-first on the left.》 I answered impatiently. He found it without any problem and before I knew I was laying in my bed while he looked down at me taking his shirt off and unbuckling his belt.

In a moment he was by my side, his pants still on, as he had me on his lap, taking my dress off, slowly sliding off the short sleeves. I was wearing nothing underneath because I was more comfortable like that around the house and I felt self-conscious, my hands going to cover up my chest and my legs closing for how much they could. Jake smiled at me and took my arms kissing them before bringing both over his shoulders and kissing my neck again, going lower this time. When he was at my breast he kissed them, took them in his hands, played with them until I was completely out of breath, running my fingers through his hair.

Before I could realize I was lying again in my bed, his lips on mine before going down again, kissing my neck, my shoulders, my breasts again, my stomach and then jumping to my thighs, starting from the knee before going up, biting softly the skin and sending shivers down my spine. I was panting when he kissed under my stomach again.

A gasp left me when he kissed my clit, licking a long, slow stripe from my entrance and up. His hands went to my hips in the attempt of hold me still.  

He unhurriedly increased the pace and when I looked down, he was already looking at me. I moaned before my hand went to his hair trying to steady myself from the pleasure. A low moan came from the back of his throat and my grip tightened.

《J-Jake… Jake, I- you-》 I stuttered but my point got across for he pulled me closer and dove deeper, making me arch my back and moan his name. Soon I came and he kept going through my high, licking me more sensually and sometimes kissing my thighs.

He returned his lips on mine and my neck before he undressed himself of his remaining clothes and kissed me again, lining himself up to my entrance.

《You sure?》 he asked out of breath, grinding himself on me and biting his lip to hold back a moan that came out as a broken gasp.

《Yeah.》 I answered pulling him close to me and kissing him again.

Then his cock sank into me, and I whined into his mouth, my hands pulling his hair. His hips stuttered and he went in too fast making me hold onto him tighter, gasping.

《Sorry.》 he whispered brokenly on my neck going in the last couple of inches left and staying still, waiting for me to adjust. He was definitely big, but the stretch was so good.

His hands caressed my sides while I played with his hair. He was breathing heavily and after a bit of waiting he started to grind into me to which I bit my lip but didn’t stop him. He tentatively pulled out a little only to sink back in, moaning in my ear.

《You feel amazing…》 he praised, his gruff voice making me shiver even before he started to actually move. Not fast, he deliberately pulled out almost all the way to just push in deeper every time.

His mouth kept alternating between biting and kissing lips and sucking on my neck and chest, his hands still on my sides.

He gave me one last kiss before adjusting our bodies so that he could stand up to end of the bed and bringing my legs on his shoulder pushing in hard.

My back arched and my hands gripped the sheets, a long moan leaving my lips. And then he did it again, and again

《Yes! R-right there Jake…》 and his pace went a bit faster, hitting a wonderful spot inside of me that made me see stars. One of his hands went to my collarbone, sliding down to my belly and pressing down.

His pace became more rough, more impatient, his thrusts more erratic and then he bended over me, leaving my legs on his sides to kiss me again.

《Fuck, fuck- you feel so good, so fucking good. C-can I come inside? Please, please, please- fuck. You’re squeezing me so tight… so good, you’re so good- fuck…》 he cursed into my neck. It took a bit for his words to register in my brain.

《C-can I?》 he asked again. And I nodded in a frenzy, feeling myself getting close again.

His fingers then went to rub on my clit while he watched my face contort in pleasure and my body shivering.

《Yes! Yes, please, come inside - you feel so good, so good…》 I moaned, in my mind only him and his body.

After a few more thrusts we both came undone. His arms sneaked around my back to hug me, and I did the same with my arms around his shoulders. His hips grinded a bit more in me before he pulled out. I closed my eyes, completely spent and tired but satisfied. After bit a towel met my thighs and pussy. When Jake cleaned himself too, he climbed on the bed by my side, got under the covers and hugged me, his head on my chest.

《Thank you…》 he whispered.

《Thank you too.》 I answered, kissing his head.

And fell asleep like that.

.

The next day the first thing I felt was Jake’s body pressed against my back, on hand on my hip and the other on my chest.

I took a deep breath before I relaxed in his hold, pressing myself better against him and relishing in the closeness some more.

When I turned in his embrace, I felt soreness in my whole body and a pleasurable ache between my legs. My arms hugged his naked torso, and I hid my head under his chin, giving his neck a few kisses.

It was a nice feeling, to not wake up alone like every day, wondering and thinking.

After I don’t know how much time I got up, leaving Jake in bed a bit more, and got a simple dress out of my wardrobe. It was a pale blue color, long until half my calves, and had thin straps to keep it on my shoulders. And then I was off to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast.

I decided to put on some music, keeping the volume low to not disturb Jake if he was still sleeping and got started. When I was placing down everything, I felt a pair of hands on my hips and smiled, finishing up the table.

《Morning.》 he whispered in my ear, kissing my neck and shoulders right after. His hands tracing up my sides until under my breasts.

《Good morning.》 I breathed out, leaning my head on his shoulder.

We stayed like this for a bit before we sat down to eat, a comfortable silence fell on us like a blanket and the music still on made for a nice murmur.

《You know… – Jake started as I was sipping on my coffee – I’m starting to cut things off with Simone.》 he confessed. I looked at him confused, what does that mean? Cutting things off with her? How? Why?

《We had been spending a lot of time together and I think it’s best like this… – he went on since I kept silent – also talking to you I started to understand a few things and I think Simone is not a good presence?》 he concluded a little bit more insecure this time. I kept looking at his waiting for him to continue but he didn’t.

《It’s not my place to say what you should do with the relationship you had and still have with her. Whatever it is, I’ll be there with you, okay? If you think she is not a good presence in your life anymore I’ll try to be by your side, as a friend or whatever. I’ll not substitute her.》 Never. I said choosing my words carefully. I offered him a hand that he took and squeezed to which I squeezed back reassuringly. I started to get up

《Come on now, we have to get ready.》

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Thanks to whoever made it to the end, I hope I didn't bore you too much and I would also like to disclaim that under this message there are going to be drawings I personally made for the story. Those are three outfits I very clearly imagined on her: the one when she goes to home bar, the one when she sings and Jake is there too, and the one she wears at the end when she is at home with Jake. If you don't like them please don't freely insult me or my art style.

P.s the aspect of the girls in the drawings are how I imagined the protagonist to look like. This is a Reader x Jake story, I omitted anything that had to do with Readers appearance for this reason, only what she wears is described.

Thanks, bye.

[thepaintedlady00]

Ok, honestly I have a lot of ideas for requests, but this one stuck out to me (I might post the others later):

Angst/fluff, Nightshade/Sweetbitter fic. Jake x Lena (or reader, whichever you prefer) where the two are watching Sandman. Lena/reader jokes about how Jake looks like Morpheus/Tom Sturridge, & the two laugh it off. Then, middle of the night, Jake wakes up to find Lena/reader having a nightmare. He wakes her up to talk about it &/or makes her breakfast in the morning. Doesn't have to be canon to your story.

Sorry if this is too detailed. I had it in my head since the recent chapter of Nightshade dropped & you announced request week. Have a nice day/week! Take care of yourself!

This idea is so cute and funny! It's also one of the first requests I have for my Sweetbitter fandom! So I'm excited! Thank you so much for the request! 🥰 I decided to go Jake x Reader just cause there's so little content for Sweetbitter I want everyone to get to enjoy it without them feeling like they need to read my fic or anything. 😊

Your days off mostly consisted of time with your boyfriend Jake. Today he'd unfortunately been called into work to cover one of the bar shifts. He hadn't been too happy about it, muttering a few choice words under his breath as he got dressed and instructing you not to have too much fun without him. Jake kissed you and was gone to spend his night dealing with the guests and making overpriced drinks.

You'd gotten cozy on the couch and ordered take out from the Chinese place you knew Jake loved so he'd at least have good good and a loving embrace ready for him when he got home. While eating you turned on a new tv show, some kind of comic adaptation called The Sandman. All while you watched you could have sworn you recognized the actor, but nothing came to you. Jake's heavy footsteps made your attention shift to the door as he walked in and began tossing his clothes and shoes off.

"How was work?" You asked, swallowing your food.

Shirtless he made his way to you, kissing you quickly and snagging an egg roll from the box. "Fine." He nodded to the TV. "What are you watching?"

You turned your head back to the TV. "The Sandman. It's new."

He sat down beside you, quietly eating for a moment before noticing the way you kept looking back and forth from him to the TV. "What?"

You ruffled his hair and looked at the TV again before laughing. "You look exactly like this guy!"

"No I don't!" He insisted.

"Yes you do!" You pointed. "Same hair, same pouty lips, same pale ass skin."

Jake rolled his eyes, pulling you close. "You gonna start calling me Lord or King then?"

"God no! Your ego doesn't need any more stroking."

"I can think of something you can stroke," he teased.

You kissed him, giggling. "You're disgusting."

When you two went to bed that night Jake stayed up, laying beside you as he read his book. You were fast asleep, but seemed troubled. You jerked around and made quiet whining noises until you awoke with a startled cry.

This wasn't the first time you'd had nightmares, but ever since you started staying with Jake they'd gotten better. His arms wrapped around you as he whispered reassuring words in your ear until you relaxed. His hands rubbed soothing shapes into your arms as he slowly coaxed you back to sleep.

"You're getting good at this," you mumbled.

He chuckled. "Yeah, maybe you should start calling me Sandman."

"Mmmm, goodnight... Sandy."

He made a noise. "Ugh, never mind."

"Too late." You yawned. "You're Sandy forever now."

The next morning Jake made you your favorite breakfast, something he'd spent months practicing so he wouldn't fuck it up. He brought it to you in bed and the two of you ate together, quietly making plans for a week away together. Jake insisted your nightmares were stress based and wanted you to have fun for once. As you looked over at him, that messy hair and bright blue eyes and cute little pouty lips you just smiled. Leaning over you kissed him. "What's that for?"

"I just love you."

Jake rolled his eyes, still always so adamant to act aloof. But he kissed you back and for a moment you could've sworn you saw stars in his eyes as he whispered back, "I love you too."

[igotanidea]

It had to come to this.......

you can find all those ff on my blog (except Ambience, but here's the preview)

[melancholypancakes]

Mother knows Best (Reprise) Sweetbitter

Author note: Okay, here is an Idea for a Jake sweetbitter x reader fanfic, This idea is from the movie Tangled. 

Y/n is a young woman and she becomes a waitress after running away from an overbearing and manipulative mother who trapped her in the house for 20 years. (Been there girl. Trust me It’s not fun) 

Y/n is trying to live her life, become an adult, be free, and maybe get into a romantic relationship along the way but her mom is looking for her. 

Y/n knows all her mom wants to trap her again and Y/n is a virgin which is important since this is “Sweetbitter” all about lust and sex while Y/n is all about living her life and romance. 

Will Jake fall in love with her for who she is and not her body as she likes him for who he is and not his pretty face? 

Who’s to know? 👀👀👀

{....} 

*Y/n smiles to herself as her Mother confronted her not too long ago* 

Y/n: I...I think he likes me. 

*M/n turns around to her daughter with smirks amused* 

M/n: Likes you? Please Y/n that’s demented! 

Y/n: But Mother I...

M/n: This is why you never should’ve left! 

*Y/n sighs sadly* 

 M/n: Dear this whole romance you invented. Just proves you’re too naive to be here! 

*M/n places her hands on her daughter’s shoulders* 

M/n: Why would he like you? Come on now, really. 

*M/n name stares at her daughter’s fashion in disgust* 

M/n: Look at you! You think he’s impressed? 

*M/n holds Y/n hands gently* 

M/n: don’t be a dummy!~ 

M/n: Come with Mummy~ 

M/n: Mother~ 

*Y/n let’s go of her mother’s hands* 

Y/n: No! 

*M/n is in shock* 

M/n: No? 

M/n: Oh....I see how it is. 

*Y/n looks at her mother with concern* 

M/n: Y/n knows best. Y/n so mature now. Such a clever grown-up miss. 

*M/n taps Y/n head* 

M/n: Y/n knows best. Fine, if you’re so sure now~ 

M/n: Go ahead and give him THIS. 

*M/n tells Y/n, about her body* 

M/n: THIS IS WHY HE IS HERE! DON’T LET HIM DECEIVE YOU! 

*M/n points out Y/n’s virginity* 

M/n: Give it to him! Watch and see! 

Y/n: I will! 

M/n: Trust me, my dear, that’s how fast he’ll leave you! 

*M/n snaps her fingers*

M/n: I won’t say I told you so! 

*M/n gets in her daughter’s face* 

M/n: Now, Y/n knows best! So, if he’s such a “Dreamboat”. 

M/n: GO AHEAD! and put him to the TEST! 

*M/n turns to leave as Y/n tries to grab her hand* 

Y/n: Mother! wait! 

*M/n turns back to Y/n* 

M/n: If. He’s lying...Don’t come CRYING! 

M/n: Mother! Knows Best! 

*M/n leaves Y/n in the streets by the bar she was outside taking a breather* 

*Y/n is in a state of shock as she begins to grow worried she hears a familiar voice call her* 

“Y/n?” She turns to see jake, “What are you doing out here, all by yourself? The party inside.” he begins to say teasingly. 

“Oh...just take a breath of fresh air is all,” she says as she nervously laughs then Jake notices she looks sad about something. 

“Are you okay?” he asks as he walks her back inside, “Yeah! I’m fine.” Y/n says as she walks next to jake. 

“Well, let’s get some drinks everybody waiting anyways.” He says casually as Y/n is nervous on the inside and worrying about what her mother had told her. 

[pearlstiare]

𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐁𝐎𝐘. 𝘫𝘢𝘬𝘦 ( 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 )

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Jake x Therapist!Reader

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒: she/her

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒: Work in Progress - Coming Soon.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: After another fight with Simone, Jake has an encounter with a Woman. Meeting that is going to change everything for him.

ᴘʀᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ: 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘉𝘰𝘺 (𝘞𝘐𝘗)

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ: 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘉𝘰𝘺 (𝘞𝘐𝘗)

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ: 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘛𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘰 (𝘞𝘐𝘗)

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ: 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘌𝘺𝘦𝘴 (𝘞𝘐𝘗)

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒!

𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: English is not my first language so if I make a mistake please let me know. Writing is not my full-time job so expect slow updates on my blog since I’m a full-time college student and worker, I write because it is fun for me not because it is my job.

[captainpoopweinersoldier]

After Midnight | Jake x FReader

18+ Only; Smut; another Baby Jakey Quickie because he has completely taken over my brain.

Synopsis: With shifts at the restaurant and Jake running his own place now, there's little room left to focus on your relationship. But.. that doesn't mean you haven't managed to make up for lost time in the hours in between.

Words: 2.3k

Usual shout out to @ursulaismymiddlename​ and @salt-is-a-terrible-currency​

Link to AO3

There’s no way to tell what time it is when you wake to the feel of Jake’s arm thrown around your waist, tugging your backside flush against his front. You’d dragged yourself home earlier that night almost immediately after closing shift, too tired for routine shenanigans and rounds of drinks at Home Bar in favor of a comfortable mattress beneath achy limbs.  

But Jake has his own place to run now; too sucked in to its early success that he couldn’t leave business to anyone else besides Scott even if he wanted to - which of course, he did not. He had to have his hands on everything, even if it meant working up to ten or twelve hours a day. It could’ve been anywhere between 3 and 5 in the morning by now, still dark in the bedroom except for the glow from the television of whatever was left playing on Netflix. And given the somewhat recently installed blackout curtains, not even an early summer sunrise could give away the time.

His grasp is so snug that it makes for a slight struggle to groggily turn around and face him. You can’t tell how deep a sleep he might be in either. It’s routine now to wake up shortly after he’s joined you in bed, finding him anywhere from high strung and wired awake to so passed out, it’s a cause for concern. 

Right now, his eyes are closed. Features fixed in a rare scene of rest, even if those soft pouty lips still manage to purse while deep, even breathing moves calmly within him. Whatever time he’s had, he’s managed to shower before climbing in. His messy hair is damp, he smells of his usual pleasant body wash and a hint of toothpaste. 

So one of the better nights, then. 

Blinking sleep from your eyes, you take a second admiring his face. The straight line of his nose, the softness of black eyelashes blurring over his pale cheeks. He’s down to a raggedy shirt with holes in it and tight boxer briefs, and you can’t resist folding a thigh over his hip to pull yourself impossibly closer. Taking advantage to slip a hand beneath the hem of his shirt, fingertips busied trailing across his narrow waist when you catch a hitch of his breath.

He’s responding even quicker when you steal a kiss. You can’t help yourself, even though a part of your brain frets over how he needs the rest, how you should let him sleep. But he’s already so close, you can’t not - it’s just a light touch, just a sleepy kiss - but he’s following, lips seeking as you retreat, one long arm rising from the mattress to wind around your shoulders. 

“Finally awake now, huh?” he asks, lips ghosting along your jawline. 

“Did you try to wake me up?” 

“No,” he admits after a beat. His eyes drift open with a handsome flutter, and while it’s nearly too dark in the room to see the bright blue hue of them, their searching gaze makes you swoon anyway.  “You’re too cute when you’re sleeping.” 

It was just a power nap, you reason, feigning alertness with a teasing rock of your hips.

“How cute?” 

The slip of his hand is almost instant; the fact that he was somewhat dozed off a second ago apparently forgotten when it snakes along your spine and possessively grabs your ass. Suddenly he’s rolling on top of you, mouthing into the crook of your neck and there’s not a lick of room to pull away - not that you want to. 

“Too fuckin’ cute.”

 A murmur of his name just barely passes your lips and your nightshirt is tugged, pushed and shoved up over your chest, exposing your breasts. Between his quick and persistent mouth, you let out a breathless moan, goosebumps already prickling your skin as he slinks down your torso to flick a nipple with the tip of his tongue. It peaks immediately under the heat of his breath, and you squirm with flooding arousal at the skim of teeth. 

“Not too tired?” he asks right before taking in a greedy mouthful. His hand delves between your thighs to revel in the heat there, palm sliding back and forth over the cotton underwear, fully insinuating the intent behind his question, and when you shake your head no, he slips it beneath them. Lithe fingers quickly find your damp center, paying the other breast equal mind while you start to writhe and arch into his touch. 

"Good," he murmurs into your skin. He's clearly needy and your half-asleep mind can barely keep up, not that it makes a difference at this point. These are your hours now, when late night begins to bleed into dawn. And more often than not, the time is spent like this: a passionate, albeit haste, often frantic tangle as you rush to devour each other.

Your body responds, all too conditioned to him, to this exact routine. Goddamn late night yearning.. 

It forgives any strain on the relationship. You both have made it work plenty, sure, but it’s been months since an entire day or night was spent together. The pent up frustration does nothing but pour out hot and aching in moments like these, and Jake, ever so thoughtful, never keeps you waiting longer than you have to. Two fingers gently twist into your cunt and your head lolls lazily back, loosing a groan when they curl halfway. He knows exactly what he's doing - works you up fast so you can take him before you're both fighting consciousness once again. 

"Good girl," he says softly, feeling you grow even wetter as he pumps inside you. Basking in your desperate, yet futile attempt to get him undressed - he won’t budge now even if it means taking off his clothes. He’s got you just how he wants you, pinned helplessly beneath him, and he merely sighs and grumbles low around mouthfuls of your flesh, anywhere from throat to ribs and back again.

“Jake,” you whine at him; too sensitive - too easily overstimulated in this state. You get his shirt bunched at the shoulders until his back is bare to the bite of your nails and Jake shudders on top of you. Soft chest and peaked nipples brush across yours, his quiet groan becomes a hiss. The marks will be red come morning and you know he’ll adore them when he gets ready for work all over again later.

His voice rumbles something hungry in the crook of your neck and he pulls your underwear down past mid-thigh in the next fluid motion. Enough so that he barely has to move, simply keeps you in place as your hips buck at him, spine curling into a perfect arch as his fingers slick over your clit. His breathing is rapid now - not remotely calm as it was in what feels like mere seconds ago - and his fingers speed up with it; bat at your swelling bundle of nerves until you’re close to combusting from the shock of pleasure bursting through your limbs.

“Jake - ah -!” you cry out this time, voice hoarse, knees drawing up his sides as you writhe.

He rucks his briefs down - just enough to free himself - the relief evident in the gruff exhale he huffs out along your skin. “Fuck, I fuckin’ want you.”

The weighted length of his cock strokes bare and hot against the curve of your pelvis, slips along the slick slit between your thighs, and you’re already canting your hips. All urging and and gasping shrill when finally he sinks deep into the wet heat of you with a single, long thrust. He fills, fills you completely and you clutch at him desperately. One hand clutching at his waist while the other lifts to the nape of his neck - scratches into black tousled hair until it forms a fist and you toss your head back, keening loud at the certain urgency driving the strength behind Jake’s pace. 

His long fingers clench into the meat of your thighs, pressing down, folding you beneath him and keeping you spread. He fucks into you like he’s running out of time, slurring whines into the soft spot behind your ear like a wounded animal and you’re left cursing aloud at the sound of him like this, sounds kept for you alone.

Your eyes roll heavy. You catch his face between both hands, drawing his mouth toward yours, and it’s nothing but sloppy as your voices die amid the hungry twine of tongues and clash of teeth. He moans at the sharp nip you take of his bottom lip, lashes fluttering at the tips of your cheeks, then hits at somewhere particularly sensitive so hard that your jaw clatters with a lewd shriek tearing its way through your throat. 

Jake mutters your name with a shit and a babe and a fuck, leaning back to finally tear off his shirt and your underwear disappears completely a second later but it’s even better this way. Your thighs frame his body, ankles locking at the small of his back, and the sounds of smacking skin on skin clap aloud in the bedroom. He pounds into you, you feel drunk and belligerent and weakly grasp at him as the bed creaks and rattles at the wall. 

“Fuck yes, Jake please,” you rasp, almost hissing. Feeling that orgasm bloom, teasing thick at your belly with a throb teased each time the head of his cock hits you just so. 

“That’s it, wanna fuckin feel you..” His voice hitches before he moans, hands cradling your skull in a half embrace. Lips spit-slick and swollen, smearing a smug grin across your cheek. You nearly laugh despite yourself and that low timbre of his voice shakes with you - a quick dose of intimacy, of adoration before you’re tensing, jaw unhinging with a sob. 

“Come on me,” he murmurs, and you’re bursting at the seams for him, for Jake. A violent throb like licking flames. You bite into his shoulder as it spills from you and he’s groaning praise as your cunt pulses around him, clenching tight. His forehead grinds against your temple, the beaded sweat of his hairline nestling into your skin when he lets himself go. 

There’s always a moment when Jake comes - when he grasps hard onto whatever he’s touching. A moment of abandon when he loses control, hips roughly slamming against yours like he’s suddenly blind and lost to the pleasure that consumes him. It happens now - his voice takes a rare higher pitch as fingers knot into the baby hairs at the nape of your neck. It elicits a hiss of pain, your palms stroke heavy and soothing over his ribcage, and he douses himself inside of you before falling slack in a tired heap.

Neither of you move for several weighted seconds, and thanks to the quiet air conditioning unit, the thick heat between your bodies is bearable enough to bask in. Jake nuzzles lazily, lips seeking, finding yours, and you take the moment to kiss something proper and slow. His heaved sigh fans your cheeks as he licks into your mouth, and your limbs relax on either side of him. Focusing on the slip of his tongue, the taste of it instead. Sending your heart aflutter just as you were starting to calm down.

When he pulls away, you’re grateful the television still happens to be on. It’s nowhere near bright, but you can see his face well enough, the ice blue of his eyes darkened into a hazy storm, searching the span of yours as he pants through parted, swollen lips. 

“Love you, boo,” you offer with a half-assed smirk, voice haggard. Jake’s smile is instant, crinkling the corners of his eyes, and when you lift a hand to cup his cheek, he leans into it with a tender furrow of his brow.

His voice is a low, tired rumble in comparison while he catches his breath. “I fuckin’ miss you.” 

There’s not much to be said about that; the words have been mutually exchanged so many times, keeping track would be pointless. You keep telling yourselves it’s temporary and won’t be forever and it’ll get better eventually, but there’s only so many words to keep the impatience at bay. It’s growing evident, chipping away at you both. Palpable in moments like these when you’re mostly naked, sweaty and on top of each other. 

So you give him an exaggerated pout, sticking out a quivering bottom lip, and he snarks back with an equally dramatic disapproving scrunch of his face. 

It eases the tension for now, and he rolls off of you, situating himself back into his briefs before turning to face each other in a tangle of arms and legs. 

“Let’s get breakfast tomorrow.” 

“As in later.”

He kisses the tip of your nose. “You know what I mean.”

“You need to sleep, Jake,” you protest sharply.

“I’ll go to sleep right fuckin’ now then.” 

You raise your brows at him expectantly, but he stubbornly stares back, and when his lips slowly pull into a grin you smack your hand onto his face.

..The adorable face that never fails to make you cave. “Fine, fuck, what time is it now?” 

Jake makes a show of obscenely licking your palm, then glances over his shoulder. “Four-ish.” 

“If you get up around at least nine -”

“- I can take a nap with you after.”

You must admit, that bit sounds nice. It’s been a while since that bit. “... Okay.”

He’s pulling you into a firm embrace a second later, chest rumbling like a purring cat as he burrows his face into the crook of your neck, and the smugness reeks.

“Love you, too.”

[tarotoftheendless]

Life Update and Tom Sturridge FanFic Ideas...

Hey, so, life has been crazy. I haven't been able to focus on writing at all. I want to continue my Waiting for Forever fanfic, but until my life can get back to normal, it might not be for a while.

Also, save for maybe two people, no one seemed to really be engaging with the fic in the first place, so, if people really want to know what happens, maybe some encouragement and interest would be helpful. I love Willie very much, but unless others show that they love Willie too and want to know where his and Jules' story is going, I might not have much motivation to continue the story. I am writing this for me too, but having other people getting some sort of enjoyment from it really does help.

I also have had Jake from Sweetbitter fanfic ideas rolling around in my head as he is the next of Tom's characters that I feel strongly about. Jake deserved so much better than he got and my heart breaks for him. I have story ideas, that either I could write (if my ADHD lets me) or I could collab with someone on the ideas and they can write it. Most of what I write I have wanted to read, so, if a writer that has written for Jake before or wants to write for Jake would like to talk to me about my idea, all I ask is that I get credit for the idea and my input. I really wish I had the energy to write, but all my energy is either going towards depression or stress or focusing on what I need to do in my day to day life that is kinda in upheaval right now. I have been posting to my Instagram a fair bit, some Lives, doing tarot readings for/about Tom Sturridge and Alexa Chung... making posts about Widow Clicquot and all that. So, check out my Instagram, under the same name as here.

I hope to one day get back to writing for Willie, he deserves an epic, beautiful love story. Same with Jake. I have ideas, ones that are good for Jake. Anyway, love ya'll.

[soutcftime]

Open relationship - Jake (sweetbitter) x Reader

SUMMARY: You and Jake keep a open relationship. You're both jealous.

NOTES: okay, ladies. I think we all know about this. It's been YEARS since I don't write about (someone) x reader so let's hope this end well. (I am nervous, I feel like I'm 11 again)

RATING: Explicit.

WARNINGS: age gap (young reader). walking red flag. toxic relationship (obviously). don't bother me this is very questionable. Smut written by asexuals TM.

-

The night was still young when you catch Jake flirting with the new waitress on the other side of the bar. It doesn't bother you, not really. You're just upset because he left all the work up to you. At moments like those, you wonder why you don't listened to your dad when he said that being a bartender doesn't bring anything good.

You sigh, shaking those thoughts out of your head. It was better to focus on being pretty and selling drinks to the old gentleman that keeps calling you princess and leaving all his money on tips.

If Howard ever thinks of you as a lost cause, he definitely changes his mind every night after your shift.

"Princess" Jake whisper on your ear with amusement. You just give him a brief serious glance while cutting some lemons. Then you turn around with the brightest smile on your lips. "Bet he thinks you're still a virgin" he laughs in your ear, touching slightly your waist as he passes behind you.

And you just know he did it on purpose. Touching you gently and making sure you can feel his crotch on your ass.

It was that kind of things that make you lose your mind for him. He was absolutely unhinged and it makes you fall for him everytime.

Not to talk about the sex too. Jake knows everything. He knows what place he has to touch to make you weak on the knees, he knows what to say to make you cum immediately. If you didn't act so well, he would know the effect he has on you.

And being honest, that wouldn't be good for you.

You disappear before your shift ends and Jake only can think two things:

that you got hurt and need to go immediately.

that you found a handsome man to get a quickie on the back of the restaurant.

Honestly, Jake didn't really believe on the first one.

None of this are specifically correct.

You do found a handsome man, well. William. Not for a quickie but for a nice dinner and a romantic movie on his place.

He is really good, he's such a gentleman and kind, and you wish you can feel the same for him as he does for you. But all you can think when he's kissing slowly your neck is Jake telling you how good girl you are and how he misses your pussy. Jake teeth biting your thighs; Jake tongue touching your nipples; Jake's mouth all over you.

And that is actually what makes you cum. The ghost of Jake calling you back home.

It was something almost sick how Jake had ruined every other man in your life: When you're up to someone else and all you can think is in those pretty lips kissing you and those beautiful eyes looking nothing else but you.

You hate him for that.

The last thing that you expect to find on your place when you arrive is Jake sleeping alone. Being honest, you were almost ready to kick any woman out of your bed. But it was a nice surprise.

"How cute" you said, softly. You always loved to watch Jake sleep, he looked like a Disney princess. You hurry up taking off your jeans, crawling to your side of the bed while taking off your brassier as well.

What you didn't expect was two big hands grabbing you by the waist before arriving your place. It scared the shit out of you for a moment.

"Where were you?" Jake's voice sounds low and sleepy, but he leans closer to you and caress your belly softly.

If you didn't know him at all, it could be almost a jealous question.

"I was..." you try to talk, but Jake moves to take off his shirt and giving it to you. You sigh, but you put it anyway. It smells of him.

"I..." you try again, but is specifically impossible when Jake approach to you and rub his hard cock in your ass.

"Who was it? Was he good? Did he make you squirm as I do?" Jake voice is raspy on your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "You're wet, I can smell you" he says, biting gently your earlobe.

You gasp, pushing him away until your sitting on top of him. Both knees by his sides. In that angle you can feel his cock perfectly lined with your heat. Your panties and his were the only thing that keeps you two from fucking.

"So? Telling me, princess. Did you cum?" he arches and eyebrow, amused. You can actually see the smoke of jealousy in his eyes. It always appear after you go bang with other man. And Jake always wants to know every detail. He needs to know who is he competing with. How good is his rival.

"It was William, and yes." you admit, but all you have from him is a laugh.

He laughs at you.

"William" he repeats, mocking. "Oh, princess. I didn't know you were such a kind soul"

"Stop laughing. He is good, he treated me really well." Jake laughs again, his hands grabbing your thighs and rubbing his dick against you.

You hold your breath for a moment, biting your lower lip to not whimper his name.

That was the thing with Jake, it wasn't just the sex but the foreplay what make it so good for you. And the aftercare. Everything.

"How good?" he asks, and for a moment, he just look at you.

You know how much he likes to watch you wearing his clothes, it can be a new kink.

"Good" it was a fine lie, he didn't have to know that he was the principal reason why you cum.

Jake furrows, squeezing your thighs before he changes positions. Pinning you on bed. He doesn't talk, he doesn't say anything. He doesn't even take your panties off. He just put it aside and touch slowly your clit with his fingertips.

And you cum.

You don't even know how that happens, you just trembles through your orgasm and moan softly his name.

"Yeah, I can say how good he was" he's mocking again, a relaxed gesture as he caress your thighs. So gentle, so kind, you almost forget that is Jake who you are with. "Look at you, princess. A mess, beautiful mess for me. I'm going to fuck you know. I'm going to fuck you so good and so hard you won't forget it for days"

The statement makes you shiver, fighting for air to get back to your lungs.

"Stop calling me princess, dickhead" you furrow when he smiles at you. He's so beautiful, it could make you cry.

"You prefer when I call you little girl? Good girl? Which one do you prefer, baby? You deserve some happiness after all" the amusement is still on his tone, and his smile widen when he realizes you can't stop looking at his cock.

"It's yours" he says, roughly voice. His eyes darken with lust, holding his dick with one hand. The other squeezes your thigh softly.

You can feel your body warm, your heat growing wet. All you can do is whimper in response, and he smiles. That is exactly what he want.

"You and your perfect cunt are going to be the death of me. So warm, so wet, so tight for me" his raspy voice make you wetter, and he knows it. He was just a bastard. Jake puts your leg over his shoulder, caressing gently all the way back to your waist.

"You are taking so long, I'm getting bored" you say, but it was a lie. And he also knows it. He smiles, rubbing the hard head of his cock against your clit. It makes you squirm and moan his name.

That was what he was looking for. Your whines and moans.

"Your pussy should be mine alone" is a distracted commentary, but he say it anyway. You can feel the press of his cock against your wet heat, and you think you can lose your mind like that.

"Jake" you cry, trying to move closer to him. But his hand still pin you to bed.

"I don't want you to fuck with anyone else" he says, brow furrow when he looks at you again. His eyes in yours, serious.

And even so, he push himself inside you.

You try not to close your eyes, but it's so good, it feels absolutely lovely. Him filling you until the end.

"Do you hear me?" he asks, staying still. He spank your tight to bring you back to earth. "I want you just for me. You're mine. Mine alone"

You gasps, nodding rapidly. Whatever he says, yes.

"Say it, (Y/n). Say that you're mine. Say that no one fucks you better than me" he sounds angry, going all his way back only to thrust inside you harder. "You. Are. Mine." the sentence is followed by his thrusts.

"Yes!" you say, rolling your eyes back. The sounds your body together makes is absolutely hot. It's almost like a porn scene. "Yes, Jake" you try again, but he thrust even harder, if that is actually possible.

"Yes what?" he asks. Jake spanks your tight again, and you whine loudly.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck." you cry out your moans, feeling already the tickles on your belly. Just a bit longer and-

He stops.

You blink twice, watching his stupid face looking at you. What the fuck, you think. He's still very much inside you, so you don't understand--

"I don't want to keep our relationship open anymore" he says, his voice raspy. Annoyed. "I want you for me. I don't want anyone else"

You furrow, suddenly feeling very conscious of yourself. "Fuck off, Jake" you roll your eyes, shaking your head. "I told you once that I wanted a proper relationship, and you said no"

He let your leg go, falling aside his body. You can't believe he's talking about it while fucking you. You fucking hate him.

"Please" he says, weary eyes looking at yours. Soft hands caressing your waist.

What the fuck, you think.

"Jake, I want to cum and sleep. Can we talk about this in the morning?"

Jake sighs, looking at you but not moving at all. He was doing it on purpose, there was no other explanation. You hold your breath for a moment, lifting your hips to incite him to continue. He was very much hard inside you yet.

"For god's sake, Jake. You know I'm yours. No one has fucked me as good as you do. You and your stupid dick own me. You have ruined others mans to me... Please, please move and fuck me"

You can see the little smile on Jake's lips before he starts to moving again. Slow, soft thrusts.

The bastard.

[withoutyouimsaskia]

Don't Stop (Sandman One-Shot)

​GIF: Originally posted by @imironstark

Pairing: Morpheus/Dream of the Endless x AFAB reader

Summary: One-shot. Reader self-insert. Smut. You and Morpheus are in the exploratory stages of your relationship. Morpheus asks to worship you, and all is going well. At least, that is, until you start to wake up...

Warnings: Minors DNI. Smut. Porn with plot. Kissing. Oral sex (AFAB receiving). Slight dominant Morpheus.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: So I watched Sweetbitter. With my partner. Maybe not the best idea because suppressing the squeaks of excitement whenever Tom came on screen was tough and not always 100% effective! The hyper fixation is still going strong... Hope you enjoy this one. All my love, Saskia xxx

Sandman Masterlist

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It is only when the violent spinning not only stops but holds for several minutes after, does Morpheus make steps in allowing his guard to drop.

He straightens elegantly out of his crouching position, withdrawing his hands from the scree smattered earth. He looks to his left, to Lucienne, who is warily regarding the ground and sky, wondering if they might start to rapidly switch places again.

She meets Morpheus' gaze and adjusts her round-framed spectacles with a steady hand.

"I might be speaking too soon, sir, but I truly think it is over now."

Morpheus takes one last steely appraisal of the horizon, almost daring it to misbehave.

He nods once. "I believe you are correct, Lucienne."

"Will you be requiring anything else from me, my lord?"

"Not at present."

"Very well," Lucienne replies with a warm smile. "I will return to the palace now."

She does a little incline of the head in deference and goes to start the winding walk back towards the glowing lights of the Dreaming's seat of power.

Morpheus calls to his friend.

"I thank you for your persistence in supporting me to resolve these issues. I suggest you take some extra hours to rest."

"I suggest you do the same, sir."

Though her reply is innocuous, the knowing gleam in Lucienne's brown eyes hints at an alternative interpretation, one that Morpheus cannot help but notice.

It was becoming generally well known that he was in the early stages of courtship with a dreamer, you, and there was no doubt that Lucienne was aware of how far the relationship with you had recently gone.

He raises an eyebrow in response, earning a grin from Lucienne and then he watches her walk away.

Once alone, Morpheus allows his eyes to flutter closed as he sifts through the myriad of dormant minds and tunes into the space occupied by yours. He takes a reading of your emotions, thankful to find that you are contented and have not been rendered feeling neglected by his absence.

There's a faint undercurrent lingering below the surface level of your emotions that he is also able to lock on to given the familiarity that you share.

Desire.

They are present, filling you with neediness and longing.

A longing to be touched, to be touched by him.

Morpheus is with you in seconds, appearing in the doorway of the room you have chosen to conceal yourself in.

You are curled up in a large armchair by a panoramic window that frames the mountainous vista beyond. The torches that mark equidistant points along the bridge leading to the palace project a soft gleaming warmth over your skin. You are gazing softly at the landscape, the fingertips of one hand combing through your hair, the others trailing up and down your inner thigh.

Such an innocent yet provocative display. It makes Morpheus' voice drop to an even deeper and more sultry register than usual as he calls to you.

You are out of the chair instantly, meeting him at the threshold of the room. Your heart pumps out an allegro drum beat, the sound of the blood rushing in your ears like a waterfall.

You are pulled into a searing kiss, arms encircle your waist to ensure you are flush against his hips and chest. It is a relief that he is holding you in such a way for your knees are threatening to give out within seconds.

The power he has, in his body, his actions, through his words, in a metaphysical sense; you are helpless against them all.

When Morpheus pulls away from the kiss, you follow him on instinct, aching for more. He smiles faintly at your eagerness but maintains the gap in order to explain his length of absence.

"I must apologise, Y/N. The issue was a little more complex than Lucienne and I had anticipated."

He's looking down with a tint of shame in his aquamarine eyes.

You slide your hands up his forearms, gripping tightly and angling your head so you can capture his gaze.

"There is nothing to be sorry for. Your work and the safety of your dreamers take priority."

He simply nods. Your unwavering understanding is always on the side of overwhelming for him.

You register this in his stance.

"You feel a little tense. I can help with that if you want. Like I did last night?"

You move a hand up to stroke the hair on the back of his head. It is a form of touch that never fails to release tension.

Morpheus indulges in your attentions for a bit, leaning into you and sighing deeply, before staring at you directly with sudden seriousness.

"I cannot deny that what you did for me yesterday was beyond exquisite," He leans in to speak by your ear. "But it is my turn to worship you."

"Oh," you swallow down your surprise. "Okay."

Morpheus wastes no time in guiding you back towards the armchair and sits you on the very edge of the seat pad.

He carefully removes his long sweeping coat and then drops to his knees before you.

His rosy lips are parted, eyes dark pools, both standing out against his beautifully pale skin.

"Where can I touch you?" He asks urgently.

"Everywhere," you reply as the flutterings in your stomach warble your voice.

He begins by trailing his hands up your legs. The patterns he draws are intricate and intoxicating.

"May I have the honour of tasting you?"

"Yes," you consent, breathless already.

You remove your trousers and underwear in the same movement and allow Morpheus to adjust your position.

The image of him looking up at you with lust and intent as he parts your legs is immediately imprinted deep within your memories.

He trails innocent kisses up your left calf to your knee. A long-fingered hand is hooked under it and once Morpheus slips your leg over his shoulder, he continues his path along your inner thigh.

Wisps of his midnight hair tickle your skin and make you squirm in the most delicious way. You whimper when you feel his cool breath hit your pulsing core.

Morpheus speaks your name reverently, a taster of what was about to come.

He leans in the last few inches and kisses your vulva. You melt with an ecstasy-filled exhale. His tongue gently licks at your labia, encouraging them to part and expose your clit. He laps at you with precise strokes before sealing his mouth over the nub.

It's like a direct current has been shot into your body; you jolt into him, moaning his name with abandon.

He hums against you, lips curling into a naughty smirk. You are completely at his mercy and he knows it all too well.

He manipulates your clit between his plush lips and the pleasure reaches a higher ground.

"Whatever you do, please don't stop," you beg.

Morpheus obeys, slowly increasing and decreasing the pressure of his suckling until you are almost unable to think clearly anymore.

Then, suddenly, you are distracted by a strange feeling radiating through your body. You recognise it with immediacy. It's like you are being dragged upwards by a marionette string. You are waking up.

You stiffen, falling silent, hoping above all hope that if you stay still, you can stave off the pull back to consciousness.

Morpheus, noticing your change in demeanour, stops his attentions and pulls away.

He speaks your name in a caring tone, "Are you alright?"

You grab the arm rests in a further attempt to keep yourself in the Dreaming. The sensation isn't letting up.

You respond with haste, "I think I'm waking up. I don't think I can stop it."

Waking had been the cause of cutting short your time with Morpheus many times before. It was to be expected; you were a human being with things like sunlight and birdsong and routines to contend with. The worst had been mid-way through a conversation, one that you were able to pick up again the next time you passed the Dreaming threshold.

Right here while Morpheus was working on you so perfectly, however left you with one thought: Why did it have to be now?

Your surroundings flicker and all sound becomes warped. The support of Morpheus' body and the chair vanish.

"I'm sorry." They are the last words you speak before you disappear.

You come to in the semi-darkness of your bedroom. Your chest is heaving and wetness has spilled onto your pyjamas from the dream of Morpheus lavishing your aroused core.

Your phone is blasting out a morning alarm, its shrillness the clear root of you disappearing on him.

It turns out though, initially unknown to you, that Morpheus was having none of this separation business. That is until you notice him sitting between your splayed legs.

"Morpheus?! What are you -"

"You asked me not to stop, my dearest dreamer," he interrupts, pouring every ounce of seductive energy into the words as he can muster.

Morpheus' eyes bore into yours as he climbs up to fully straddle your body. He reaches over you to turn off the alarm with a precise tap on the screen of your phone. He takes a deep breath.

"Much better," he purrs. The pitch of his voice is pleasure enough on its own, even without the fact that his hips are subtly grinding against yours.

"Now, would you like to resume with what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted by that repugnant tone?"

You nod.

"Verbal consent, please."

It's suddenly so hard to speak now he is in your bedroom, your domain. You hope that a clear display will be an acceptable alternative. You reach your hands down to rid yourself of your pyjamas only to have each wrist pinned either side of your head.

You gasp.

"I need to hear you say it out loud, Y/N."

Another wave of hot, stifling arousal is released between your legs. You shiver in reaction to it, to his dominance.

Your mouth is open but no coherent words leave it, just the starts of failed sentences. Morpheus comes to your aid:

"Will you allow me to taste you here, in the waking world, just as I did in my own realm?"

"Yes," you breathe. "Yes, Morpheus. Please. Put your mouth on me."

He hums his approval before lowering your shorts and beginning to feast on you once more.

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Tag List: @herfantasyworldd @shadowqueen1318

[melancholypancakes]

There. Isn’t. ENOUGH. 👏👏 I need more fanfics of this man

We need more Jake from Sweetbitter oneshots or fics. Just me?