#The headphones too ugh
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Silver screen, cathode ray Brighter than the light of day Lover, when you see that glare Think of it as my despair Think of it as my despair for you...
So uhhhh. Y'all know about Hadestown? 👉👈💖💖💖💖 It's not one-to-one but I do think Hades and Persephone have some parallels with my self ship, one thing led to another and here we are >w< (Also go check out my partner's @rexscanonwife art for her selfship with Utonium as Orpheus and Eurydices, it SLAPS 💖💖💖💖)
[💚 Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!! 🥺 Click for higher quality, tag list under the cut! 🩶]
By the way, check out my pinned post to find my Taglist form, to be added or removed!
@absentmoon @ava-ships @bee-ships @beetleboyfriend @berryshipbasket @canongf @flabbergasting @cloudyvoid @derelictdumbass @dissonantyote @edencantstopfallininlove @final-catboy @flowering-darkness @gible-love-nibles @nagirans @hoppinkiss @hotrodharts @hyperionshipping @iwishihadfangs @iyamifucker @judetama @lex-n-weegie @lficanthaveloveiwantpower @little-miss-selfships @little-shiny-sharpies @loogi-selfships @mandrakebrew @mintpecks @mothfinite @mrs-kelly @nameless-self-ships @nerdstreak @orbitingaroundyourlove @paper-carnation @p-i-t-s @qilinkisser @reds-self-ships @rexscanonwife @rotten--cotton @ship-trek @spacestationstorybook @squips-ship @toogayforthistoday @winterworlds
#my art#oc x canon#self ship#self shipping#self insert#💜: loving you's a felony#🍒🧬: emotional processing lag#SO YEAH. Y'ALL KNOW ABT H.ADESTOWN 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#i dont even remember WHERE my idea to do this came from but i am so so happy that i did it 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#im especially proud of how i kept pieces of both my s/i's and mojo's OG designs as i created these looks for them!! >w<#like keeping cherry's poofy sleeves and the maroon color of her pants#and the visual of mojo's cape but as the overcoat hanging off his shoulders. plus if i may brag i like everything i did with his helmet uwu#the black and gold looks soooooo swaggy.... and the jewels along the bottom for the dots UGH. SORRY 💖💖💖💖#ooh also cherry's headband mimicking their headphones and the colors of their hat! i like that too teehee 💖💖💖💖#ok sorry im just rly proud of this!! i hope y'all enjoy it as well 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖
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came to school without my binder because I felt like not wheezing every time I arrived at a class and that was a mistake I feel very naked and won't be doing this again
#wore a graphic tee too so its just like. oh the warping. oh kill me#maybe i wont wheeze from constricted breathing but i will wheeze from panic attack. half joking#god I'm being dramatic#i didnt bring my headphones either. ugh. dies#you really underestimate how important your accommodations are to you until you decide not to use them#'oh ill be fine without. im always fine' yeah youre always fine because of the accommodations#gender bullshit tag
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Yosuke: “blah blah some homophobic shit blah”
Then he hits you with this look: “This guy’s my one and only partner!” ❤️🥰❤️
#yosuke hanamura#p4g#persona 4 is somehow the gayest yet homophobic game#like what the reason! scraped voice lines and shit#the hug#ugh#I want the throw rocks at this boy#he’s so pretty and silly it’s not even fair ughhh#my art#I didn’t draw his headphones bc it was too hard 😅
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It is my birthday and I have to work :C
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how it feels to want to dress very fancy and accessoried but unfortunately have the autism where i think im supposed to just be lounging in a field naked or in like. a plain linen dress. and any accessory or makeup or nail polish or ehat have you makes me want to rip my skin off
#cant wear rings bc they make my fingers feel heavy cant wear bracelets bc they move when i dont want them to same with necklaces cant wear#dangly earrings bc they r heavy cant wear small earrings bc they poke me sometimes and also headphones and also my ears r only barely#pierced. cant wear makeup bc it makes my face feel fake and also im bad at it and also would only wear it in weird freak ways cant wear#nail polish bc if it isnt perfectly smooth or chips At all i have to rip it off. cant wear tight or fitted clothes bc they restrict movemen#cant wear super loose flowy clothes bc sometimes the fabric bunches up weird. this is the hell im in#i just have to like. pick my bsttles. bc every clothing is slightly stressing but i can like. sometimes handle having more of the things#like if its a rly good day and a bunch of other autism specifications r met i can handle wearing a bracelet. but if one thing goes wrong i#start getting so insanely overstimulated -_-#bc do you know how difficult it is that i want to wear like. historical dresses. and other very structured clothing#but to also know that i get insanely stressed out wearing anything other than loose pants and big shirt. and even loose oants and big shirt#sometimes stresses me. im like currently being stressed out bc my sports bra (only type of bra i can wear) is a little bit too tight. UGH#idk. maybe magically like an 1890s gown is exactly the type of clothing that would suit my delicate idiot constitution. i wouldnt know#also disclaimer i couldnt be lounging in a field naked or wearing a short linen frock bc im fucking allergic to some varieties of grass. and#i get itchy. -_-
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Realistically speaking, If I got thrown into dnd I'd be an artificer. Like I'd be so fucking pissed I'm not a sorcerer and will thrown a tantrum, but let's be real.
#but egirl artificer yk? with the bubblegum pink kitty headphones and pastel pink sniper with cinnammaroll charms#oh I'd be so salty over any sorcerer we meet bc THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME I LOVE SORCERERS#but it's just not in my blood#:“(#fucking never being a wizard btw I'd rather get stomped to death by a gaggle of nuns on skates#I'd make fun of druids too- nature can suck my ass#and I'd end up with a huge throny branch in the said ass#WHICH WAS MY PLAN ALL ALOMG- ow ow ow ow ow -1hp -1hp -1hp ow -1hp ow -1hp#rouges are edgy I refuse to work with them#rangers' bows suck in comparison to my GLOCK#oh my god literally no one would wanna team up with me I'd get eaten by a gnoll while reloading#ugh fine#paladins and clerics can stay they're hot <3#monks??? maybe just kinda lame tho like lol fists? watch 360 no scope their ass
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I rather dislike the implication that because I'm listening to classical symphonies at work, I'm one of "those people" who won't listen to anything else. Like... I promise, buddy, I'm not that snooty. This is the New World symphony, it's practically a late 19th century pop tune equivalent at this point for all the airtime it gets, and I'm listening to it now because I've heard it since I was a child and it's musical comfort food, is that OKAAAYYYY??
#people need to stop being rude af#can someone please fix my laptop?? I have no idea why my headphones stopped working in it#but now I have to listen to music out loud like a peasant#and I kept it really quiet too and some asshole who doesn't even work near me had to ask me about it#ugh
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?????????????
#not to sound very privileged western city dude but. some guy on the train just fucking slapped me and yelled at me to shut up#because of my pride patches#my only come back was first of all 'aaa' because he slapped my headphones of and I didn't expect to be slapped#and then I thought he was just some random drunk because like. i wasn't saying anything I was literally just sitting here and he told me to#shut up so I was like ugh let's just wait it out and not react at all. and then he went on you with your disgusting pride patches and#climate stickers just shut the fuck up. and then I told him to just get off the train and he threatened to beat me up and then got off#which. kinda thank God. but also jfc what a coward move I was literally sitting next to him the entire time and he just like slapped me on#his way out?!?? he was like just sitting there angry the entire time that i was???? on the train lmao#not like. next to him next to him but across the aisle next to him#was about to get up and go sit next to some woman after that but felt silly about that too like.#ugh#can't believe some fucking disgusting coward just made me cry#at least i only cried after he left and i guess saying just go isn't. the worst come back but
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#i hate my neighbour so much#i know its bad cause she's got mental health issues but im so fucking fed up of the constant noise#and i don't want to say to her her radio is too loud at night (again) cause she has anger issues and whenever she's manic she harrasses me#even though the last time i asked her to turn her radio down was 2 years ago#and i never ask her to keep it down during the day despite her constantly playing piano/violin/radio#like im not exaggerating#every hour between 8am-11pm she's playing one of those things#and even on quiet nights sometimes she snores#ive tried ear plugs and headphones but they hurt after a while#and ive tried white noise but it has to be so loud to drown it out i never sleep well#i just want to be able to come home and have a but of peace#sometimes i consider moving but my flat is so nice and ive put so much effort into the garden#(which she threw 2 of my plant pots over the wall last time she was manic hence why i don't want to get into conflict with her)#and i know id never find a nice flat in this good a location again#ugh#vent
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my parents are talking about a really triggering thing within earshot but I currently can’t move or talk and neither of them have their phones with them so I can’t text them
#I feel like I’m going to throw up ugh#plus i’m in the midst of a flare-up (hence inability to do basically anything that requires energy)#I have headphones so I’m blasting music lol it’s kinda working#also autism is autism-ing and the high pitch-ness of voices is overwhelming me#very nauseous bleh#on the plus side my hands aren’t too bad rn so I can color my imotohan redraw thingy#also I had a really good day today! two of my friends (the only ppl my haphephobia is ok with) visited!!!!#kinda used up too many spoons when we walked to a bookstore which was perhaps not the best idea during a flare-up but it was SO worth it#it was such a fucking cool bookstore it was AWESOME#the guy who owned it was this really old wise-looking guy and we talked about our canes :)#also very cool bookstore there was a bunch of first editions of classics and everything was all leather-bound and awesome
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I hate that your anxiety is bothering you 😕 would pictures of the emotional support blorbos being cute help?
They always help, thank you!
#I’ve been blasting EC as lou as I can with my headphones and it’s keeping the anxiety on a controlled level#but I know the moment I stop doing it I might… you know… have a anxiety attack 🙂#probably going to sleep with headphones on tonight and hope that I’m okay tomorrow#ugh it’s pissing me off how it comes and goes in waves#no reason too!#*annoyed growl*#ask#jupiter-balls
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I am so…. Fucking sick of this job
#I wake up every day. I come in.#I do useless things for 8 hours. I leave. I am too exhausted to do anything else that day. so I go to bed. and then I do it over again#they keep scheduling me 6+ days in a row so it starts to feel like that is quite literally all I do#cuz I don’t get days off#I leave every day in severe amounts of pain#my back and joints from the physical labor aspect of it#and I usually have a headache from overstimulation issues#(which I am STILL fighting tooth and nail for them to even allow me to wear headphones to counteract that)#and it’s just… it feels like it is literally all I do#I already hate this job but when it specifically feels like it is quite literally all I do with my life#I feel so frustrated and pathetic because it is pointless and useless and I despise that this is what my life is getting used for#I hate it here I hate it here so much but I can’t quit because I have bills to pay and just UGH#kaz rambles
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#stumbling through one moment to the next like ive just been hit in the face#which is to say disoriented. punch drunk. adrift in a sea of mental vertigo#to steal a phrase: emotional motion sickness#i dunno. its just a very specific feeling when ive burned thru all my steam and am moving purely on compulsive action#like someones dragging me forward by the hair. i start to peel apart. im moving but without thinking actions into being#ill be in the middle of an action and my brain catches up. oh? where am i? what am i doing? ok i guess im on autopilot#thats fine i guess. and i start slipping out of my body. which isnt so bad until im trying to draw and then i cant bc my attention keeps#sliding away. i cant draw when im not sitting in my body.#im in the 3 day lul between taking measurements. this is my break. i say as i stay here from 7.30 to 5.30 bc of the other things i have to#do. and i haven't got the data ready for a meeting tomorrow so fuck the rest of my day i guess#ugh. i at least accomplished some things yesterday. but im in a standoff between saying fuck it and paying for an apartment vs waiting to b#contacted by student housing when there's currently a waitlist. i just wanna kno i have a place to go#also ive fucked myself over on another thing i havent done and dont kno how to start. uuuuuugh.#when i take my headphones off my brain has a lag that sounds like static and whispers#y am i doing this to myself? given the choice to make it better or worse i choose worse at each turn#so here we r. worse and worse and worse. have i fucked it all up? maybe so. well see#i have to go in tomorrow too. and i have a meeting Thursday. and thrn were back to 11hr days until Tuesday#then if i have to attend a birthday party my head might fucking explode#unrelated
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Can my neighbours stop having sex for a second im trying to do my duolingo lesson 😒
#dont they know im trying to save my 416 day streak 🙄🙄#ugh the walls r so thin its so bad for me guys#i left my headphones in my bag somewhere too.. pain and misery on planet earth
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#fUCK 2/3 OF THE DVDS DO NOT PLAY ON MY XBOX IM GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM#its obviously been resealed too there were some smudges so its like idk if theres even anything on the discs now#and its midnight so i cant check if they work on our all regions dvd player downstairs#but even if they work on that one... thats a hard ask of me to sit downstairs and watch anime in front of everyone during the day#its supposed to be a us region but like at this point idk if its an xbox issue or a bootleg issue or a preowned issue#fuck man im gonna have to buy a bunch of pc accessories too then to watch in my room without headphones on#this sucks man i was so excited but the world is just conspiring against me being able to watch this fucking anime#i find more and more things to regret every day of my life#i can take issue with the seller but if i do then i have to return it and its like... more hassle but i only have 2 more days to do that#but guess whos got a LONG FUCKING DAY TOMORROW#delete later / /#vent#ShitPost.exe#srsly like im already mad regardless of whether it works or not downstairs i need to just give up being mad bc the problem is already here#im going to fuckinv slepe im in too muc fucking pain to deal w more stress and now i have more things i have to do tmr#like it hurts for me to sit in a car for 5 minutes. tmr im in the car for 30x2 minutes with physical therapy in between#i dont know how im gonna do it man#i was unable to do shit last time iw as on the car that long#fucking rural ass small town that only has healthcare for rich ppl making me be in pain to get treatment for pain like fuck#hate this shit so much#hate my rural ass tourist town#hate not being able to see a local doctor#hate fucking dvds being so fucking fragile#hate buying shit online when u don't know if itll work (both secondhand and new)#pls just let it work downstairs tmr pls pls pls#ill steal the dvd player for a while and my mom can stuff it and use the other xbox for dvds till i get my own disc drive#pls i just dont want to have to argue my case to possibly return this bc i could be denied and im gonna scream if that happens#and i dont think my back can take the kinda scream im gonna scream if that happens#s2g i was ready to pay 3 digits for a working box set it was too good to be true to get it for less than 20 ugh#(less than 20 including shipping)
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if any of you guys are wondering if the rnc is as disturbing as you imagine…..yes, and then some!
#my step dad is watching it and i can hear it from the other room#when i was in the kitchen so couldn’t help but see the tv screen; they had a bunch of white boys with mullets walking down a red carpet high#fiving ppl and the chyron literally said UNC FRAT BOYS and in smaller text SAVED THE AMERICAN FLAG FROM ANTI ISRAEL PROTESTORS and it’s so#surreal. like my human brain cannot process these images alongside the images of the reality in gaza rn. you just can’t do it#on a lighter note they have a live slug reaction shot of trump once in a while and it’s funny to me bc it makes me think of the live slug re#action meme’s origin as live tucker reaction.#anyways yeah i’m wearing headphones too now so i can’t hear any of it and don’t plan on venturing back out into the kitchen but yeah.#OH ALSO APPARENTLY THE NEW SLOGAN IS MAKE AMERICA STRONG AGAIN WHICH I HADNT HEARD BEFORE NOW. LIKE DID ANYBODY KNOW THAT.#ugh i’m tired
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