#The fic is 100% funnier than I am

[simp-ly-writes]

The Comment Section (pt.3)

─────── · · A Social Media AU Fic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: The drama continues and eventually cascades into other youtube comment sections. At this point, you and Spencer have no choice but to speak up.

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, jealous!Spencer, angst, attempt at comedy, more angst, light swearing, fluff, mutual pinning, irl celebrities.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART TWO | PART 3.5 | PART FOUR

─ · · A/N: I hope you all are having as much fun reading this as I am writing this! :D

EDIT: sorry, just noticed a sentence didn't save near the end: fixed it now!

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Smosh Live: (name) is going to Hollywood with Celebrity Guests Glen and Sydney!

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] Like 132k | Dislike | ... 8.29M subscribers 1.43M views 5 days ago #10 on trending (name) and their new costars act out your stories. click to read more

2,983 Comments

username27 5 days ago WHOEVER IS ON SMOSH PR NEEDS TO GET FIRED RIGHT NOW. DO THEY NOT READ THE COMMENTS OR CHAT!!??? username49 5 days ago Never in my wildest dreams would I think this collab would happen!!! username66 5 days ago ALEX I LOVE YOU. username01 1 day ago Stay strong (youshipname) shippers! We will not falter to ANY Hollywood Heartthrobs! Spencer come get your man/woman! username35 30 minutes ago (edited) I have no idea who these people are but they make (name) sound a lot funnier! Edit: this sounds way worse than I imagined. username14 3 days ago Okay, I am a major Glen x Sydney shipper but that chemistry with (name) has me looking the other direction... username33 just now So obvious that people did not watch the whole stream. Spencer ended up dropping off more material for them to read and he just stands there, hands gripping the papers, eyes fixed on the couch and then leaves as if nothing happened BEFORE Alex came in and "fixed" it. ▼ 100 replies ↳ username66 just now HOLY SHIT! This makes it even better RAHHHHHH> * [this comment has been flagged for interfering with Youtube's Community Guidelines; for more information press HERE] ↳ username51 just now Jealous Spencer was not on my Smosh 2024 Bingo Card. ↳ username08 just now (edited) I have been reading wayyy to many romance novels but I was screaming at my screen for them to kiss at that moment. *correction for Spencer and (name) to kiss you weirdos!! ↳ username17 just now God I love how Alex just picks up their arm and then walks back off with a thumbs up towards the camera. When you know- you know~

username20 1 hour ago (name) if you ever read this, can you please not take their offer and go out with Sydney? You and Spencer belong together, period. username51 just now That smirk Sydney sent to the couch has my knees weak, how did everyone else act so normal?!?!? username40 just now So proud of you (name)! no one deserves this opportunity more than you, I have been following your work for years now; will be there opening night for sure!

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We took (name) from Smosh

Rom-Com Interviews Plus ✓ [Subscribe] Like 10k | Dislike | ... 10.1M subscribers 2.4M views 4 days ago your favorite two actors interview (name) from Smosh on their upcoming film together. get all the details and find out when and where you can get tickets for the release! click to read more

7,003 Comments

username79 4 days ago Another Glen and Sydney rom-com? count me in!!! username01 4 days ago OVER MY DEAD FUCKING BODY YOU DID NOT STEAL THEE (name) FROM SMOSH, FROM MY BOY SPENCER. ▼ 34 replies ↳ username08 4 days ago @ spennser!!! Be a director and fix this! We are sick of it! ↳ username87 3 days ago Okay but (name) is their own person outside of work??? Like there is little he can do if they don't want to talk... ↳ username20 1 hour ago Well... with the amount of threats on Twitter and across all Smosh socials now... I think they have little choice now, people are LIVID (me included). ↳ username87 just now But what in the para-social bullshit is this guys? Like c'mon, who gives a damn if they are dating or not- they are ACTORS! It's their literal job to have chemistry on screen ↳ username33 just now Ummm, actually! Spencer and (name) were seen together long before they both were on camera. Sure, they both have some experience with performance work but the hundreds of photos of them spending time outside of work. [Ex. vacations, pet-sitting, and dining out]. Tell us that is not just a performance!! ↳ username33 just now OH AND don't even get me started about the "similar" shirts and hoodies they "both" have... ↳ username33 just now Also... @ spennser!!! @ spennser!!! @ spennser!!! @ spennser!!! RESPOND NOW. username49 2 days ago Great video! Can't wait to see (name) taking the next step in their career; a youtuber in a blockbuster movie- never thought it would happen! Keep up the great content! username51 1 hour ago What is with the Smosh community? Like who knew they were so toxic. Stay away from Glen and Sydney- they did nothing to you!! username19 30 minutes ago This is all getting out of hand now, like- downright ridiculous. What the Hell is going on at Smosh that has it spreading to other channels? username74 30 minutes ago Great interview! Don't know who this (name) person is but its great that they did so much charity work outside the office Rom-Com Interviews Plus ✓ just now Hello everyone, we have read through the enormous amount of feedback you have provided us and we will not be changing the title of this video. To clarify to those who might have skipped through some parts, (name) is NOT leaving Smosh but are going to be the co-star in Glen and Sydneys newest film together, coming out this holiday season! (name) is still very much content in their current position at Smosh and we here at Rom-Com kindly ask for all of our fans, the actors fans, and the fans of Smosh to allow everyone their privacy and to not further engage with hostility. ▼ 2 replies ↳ spennser just now Like hell they were leaving Smosh. * [this comment has been deleted on request of the user] ↳ username01 just now I saw that sir!!

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BREAKING: (name) seen in the background of Spencers recent stream!!

(Yourshipname) Updates [Subscribe] Like | Dislike | ... 1.12K subscribers 500k views 2 days ago click to expand

500 Comments

username01 just now I AM NOT FREAKING OUT- YOU ARE, OKAY?!>!>? cough, cough... ermm, I mean... it does awfully look a lot like them... username77 2 days ago Does not look like (name), has to be another friend, girlfriend maybe? sister? username04 1 day ago (edited) On twitter, Smosh Cast just tweeted that Spencer and (name) are scheduled for this weeks talk- makes me hopeful! ▼ 5 replies ↳ username01 1 day ago OMG REALLY?? ↳ username11 4 hours ago Can someone confirm this? ↳ username17 30 minutes ago Its real. Check it out: twitter.com/smoshcast12345. ↳ username11 just now Thank you! Sent from my iphone. ↳ username14 just now If this is not a video of them making out for a full hour then I am not accepting the apology. My heart has hurt too much BC of these two idiots.

─────── · ·

Every Apology... Ever.

Smosh Cast ✓ [Subscribed] Like 128k | Dislike | ... 582K subscribers 488k views 2 days ago #7 on trending (name) and Spencer swear this is the only apology video they're ever going to have to make. click to read more

3,421 Comments

⚲ Pinned by Creator SmoshCast ✓ 2 days ago Hi everyone, Spencer and (name) here. For those who don't have time to watch the full episode today. Please note that we are still friends and have been working hard on new content both separately and together, stay tuned and remember to drink water! ▼ 769 replies ↳ username03 2 days ago Will do boss! ↳ username54 2 days ago You guys dating yet?? username66 2 days ago Someone pinch me! A full hour of just (name) and Spencer? I think I have arrived in heaven! ▼ 18 replies ↳ username69 2 days ago Toasters and bathtubs never looked like a tempting combo till now. ↳ username24 2 days ago Get help please @ username69

username56 30 minutes ago It is a monuments day to be a (yourshipname) supporter, I can't wait for the besties to be back together! (yourshipname)updates ✓ Just got inspired from this video, will be making an edits reel stat! ▼ 199 replies ↳ username04 1 days ago YES PLEASE, FEED MY DELUSIONS.

username05 1 day ago (edited) 0:17 (name): "To start off, I am still very much single and am still employed by Smosh as a cast member and producer. I would also like to apologize publicly to Spencer, the team, and the fans for being so distant lately. I have been finding it hard to manage my work here at Smosh with my outside projects. My stress and mental health was affecting more than just myself, and I came to find too late those who I had hurt in the process of my self-destruction. Which is why I took a step back..." ▼ 5 replies ↳ username11 1 days ago Yes, you clap back (name)! ↳ username14 30 minutes ago I love you (name). But why did you do those interviews if you were so stressed? ↳ username12 15 minutes ago @ username14 They were probably booked before it all happened. You know PR tours and all that. ↳ username14 just now Okay, that makes more sense now. ↳ username77 10 minutes ago Yeah, not single for long! I swear if Spencer is gonna do nothing, I am going to step up.

username33 4 hours ago 1:01 Spencer: "It makes me happy to see everyone who supports (name) and I both on and off-screen. For those who need clarification though, (name) and I have never and are not currently dating one another. We are best friends, simply put and we forgave one another right after. All I ask- we ask is for you to please respect our privacy and relationship as well as those connected to us." ▼ 12 replies ↳ username43 30 minutes ago (edited) Spencer forgot to include, "at this time" to the dating part ;) It's okay sweetie, we know whats really going on. username12 2 days ago I can't wait to see more of (names)'s projects outside of Smosh! So funny to think we'll see them on the big screen now, those interviews with Glen and Sydney make so much more sense now! Take your time on making content, take care of yourself please, I can wait a bit longer. username17 30 minutes ago Still don't know how to feel about this. Sure I am happy they are still friends, but I just have too many questions left unanswered. Like Alex and the arm placement, that deleted comment under (name)'s interview with Glen and Sydney and them potentially sharing an apartment?? username39 just now HOLY SHIT, THEY ARE BRINGING BACK BORED AF AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO TELL ME??? username99 15 minutes ago Man I missed their banter and longing stares across the table. Nothin' hits harder than (yourshipname). username39 1 day ago Spencer looked so proud of (name) when they were telling us their dream of finally staring in a movie, and a large one at that. The stars in his eyes- I want that for me. username47 just now Everyone keeps talking about how Spencer should ask out (name) but like (name) could also do it too, they seem more likely to ask Spencer out themselves. IDK just makes me think that if they were to date, they would've done so already. Kinda loosing hope here... ▼ 2 replies ↳ username33 just now Don't ever loose hope! They are both still single, theres always a chance :) ↳ username01 just now I can FEEL they are the next Shayne x Courtney. They are following all the same landmarks, I would argue with even more chemistry. username33 1 hour ago Anyone else feel like (name) is taking a major downgrade somehow? They are going from rom-com main character here at Smosh to side-character, second love interest in a film. Kinda hoped that they would've starred in something else.

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: alrighty! part 3 done, how we feeling about the slowburn and one-off pieces?- good I hope because I'm already working on some more hhahahhaha

─ · · TAGLIST: @lisiliely

[fall0utmind]

I really liked the way you characterized bez and pecco in your fic, and it got me thinking about the relationship between marc and the academy. And since you opened your asks, you me yapping about It's so weird because he is closer to them in age than he is in Valentino but by the virtue of his achievement he seem kind of unattainable to them. And obviously because of the rivalry, they don't really interact with him (except to pick a fight but that doesn't count). But then, he becomes pecco's teammate and, unless they put a wall in the ducati garage and factory, he will have to get to know him. And he realizes maybe Marc is not that bad (batshit insane maybe but not evil), and while marc is initially guarded around him, they do eventually get closer (and probably ropes the whole academy into becoming friends with him). Valentino may advise him against it but pecco is a grown man he knows what he's getting into.

Now I hesitate, whether this should be abo or not, but i think the secondary gender dynamics are very interesting (the idea of pack as a family or the whole non verbal communication through scent etc ), also it forces people that are trying to ignore their feelings for each other into situations they don't really like. Or maybe an au where you share a soulbound with people close to you.

My point is, at some point, marcnaia end up share that bound (whether romantic or platonic), and that pisses Vale so much, cuz secretly he thinks "that is my rival with whom i had a disastrous and very divorce, go find your own" (and pecco probably can feel that since they share a bound ), especially if he never got to build that kind of bound with marc and regrets it because maybe it would've saved them . (honestly it would be funnier if they are just friends but Rossi is just there in the background eyes twitching because he thinks there is something more). And Marc is like "what exactly is your problem" (beside the obvious),and either things get so weird they HAVE to talk about it (unlikely) or some catastrophe happens and vale has to get his shit together and maybe realize he fucked up concerning marc, but i am not too sure about how it would play out.

Anyway, just wanted to share this with you, maybe it would give you ideas. Side note: I love your writing, it's amazing. You really know how to balance between hurt and confort.

Okay okay, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT MARC X VR ACADEMY

So many!!!! So, thanks for giving me the opportunity to yap.

I defo think that for some of the academy, notably, Cele and Bez, there is still a very unattainable air to Marc. I mean, Marc is an 8-time world champion, after all. I think for luca, it is less of that due to his relationship with the brothers and being around when Marc and Vale were friends. Pecco is also a world champion, so Marc is a little less untouchable for him, but I defo think there's still that air around him because Marc really should be the God of the sport. Especially after Vale retired. But he's become a bit of a devil. Anyways so the academy defo see Marc as slightly apart, untouchable but dangerous etc etc

Now- pecco and marc!!!!!!! I want to write a fic about their friendship and vale being jealous! I actually have a draft on my laptop!

I defo think pecco is going to develop a bit of a soft spot for marc. Like, Marc is really just insane, especially about winning, lol. So they get close, and it kinda drags some of the academy into their friendship, too. Like bez begins to humanise him, luca already likes marc, but they get closer!! Cele is 100% hero worshipping which is hilarious and kinda sweet.

Okay, I really love abo and I think that could be so good, but I have a few other abo fics in the works, so maybe for this one, I wouldn't. But, that being said, I adore your ideas of both abo and soul bond au!!! I think there's so much that can be done with those AUs. I especially love the soul bond ideas or something similar. Keep an eye out for some abo AUs going forward though, there's a few coming!!!

In terms of jealousy- pecco and marc are definitely having a championship rivalry, but it's very professional and civil. They love battling each other on the track and being friendly off it. Vale is watching this like what the fuck and he keeps babbling to Pecco about mind games. Pecco has just reached the point where he roles his eyes and ignores it, humming every so often to make it seem like he's listening. Because he's an adult and Marc has been nothing but polite and civil. If they fuck up, they apologise to each other and move on.

Vale is watching all of the Ducati videos where Marc and Pecco are doing stupid things together and are laughing, and marc is looking at Pecco like he cares, and Pecco is clearly attracted to Marc (or Vale thinks so?) And excuse you, that's Valentino's rival and enemy. How dare Pecco be his friend, how dare he take marc away?

Pecco has no idea why Vale is suddenly acting so weird. Marc clicks on pretty quickly but thinks it's just that he hates the friendship him and pecco have formed, not that Valentino is jealous!

I'm not sure what would happen that would make them get their shit together. Probably alcohol involved, though, let's be real. Marc definitely gets his 9th title and Vale isn't as mad as he thought but he really needs Pecco to back off and oh? He's jealous???

I absolutely love the idea of marc hanging out with the academy without Valentino knowing too. Or maybe marc is invited to the ranch or something, and Vale just feels awkward and jealous watching his boys riding and joking with Marc fucking Marquez as if he's always been there and suddenly Vale can imagine marc always being there. Fitting in with their little family. And next thing he knows, he's imagining mornings with Marc, waking up and watching him in the early morning light because he's so beautiful and UGH. Anyways cue Valentino breakdown.

Love love love this whole idea!!

Thank you so much for asking and for your kind words!!!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

(I might make this into a drabble, if you'd like, let me know )

[barschter000]

(this is my main blog I am @euporie-art)

hi I am sorry 2 bother you but whenever you reblog my art you always put very nice tags on it and it makes me quite happy

I am thinking. about vampire benbaro. do you have any thoughts on them.

Hello!!!!! You're no bother at all, I'm actually very happy to hear from you again!! :D

I'm glad my silly reblog tag ramblings can make you happy! :)

I actually (and unfortunately) don't have that many thoughts on them (edit from the future: yeah sure buddy) because I don't think about Vampire AUs very often even though it's a classic and it works great with them. Generally, I absolutely agree that Albert should be the vampire because that is 100% the funnier option. Otherwise, my thoughts overlap with this post and are as follows:

Albert has a tapetum lucidum on his eyes, the thing animals with improved night vision have that makes their eyes glow when hit by light. I'm always a big fan of Albert being a little weird and freaky.

Since bats eat fruit and insects too and Albert is pretty constantly low on food (see linked post), he has eaten bugs. He regrets it sometimes but they are a good source for protein.

For funsies, I like to imagine him being able to walk up walls Hotel Transylvania-style because he is definitely the type of guy to start pacing while thinking and so he ends up on the ceiling.

I am consultung old Discord messages about this for this answer and past me said that apparently bats are colorblind (though it might not be all of them) and so Albert is too!

Absolute favorite of mine: BATS CAN PURR!! ALBERT CAN PURR!!!

Here are some more or less useful biting places: The most useful and sensible one is of course the vein in the crook of Barok's arm which isn't very romantic but practical. The jugular veins in the throat are of course a classic among vampire enthusiasts but because there is so much blood flowing through it, it would definitely require medical attention afterwards. But one can alter reality in fiction, as a treat. Also there is the femoral artery that runs through the thigh and aside from it being hard to access (especially since Barok's legs are so muscular), I think Barok would die and not only from bloodloss. Other than that, the saliva of vampire bats contains anticoagulants that prevent blood from clotting, so that's in Albert's saliva too.

Albert can communicate with the bats in Barok's office. (In my world, Barok named them all after female characters from operas because he doesn't know which bat is male or female but he noticed they were reproducing, so he just gave them female names. Perhaps Albert can clear up the mystery.)

Since Albert doesn't really have blood unless he feeds, he doesn't really have body heat but when he's fed, he is also able to blush and I think seeing your boy best friend blushing with your own blood inside his cheeks would also kill Barok.

As I mentioned in our previous benbaro thought exchange, I take Barok as having been a huge vampire nerd, so having a vampire boyfriend is like a dream come true to him. It also opens new possibilities of taking care of and protecting Albert which he likes doing because it's an easier way for him to express that he cares about him.

Also here is a meme I made because I think Albert would travel most safely in daylight as a bat and to not lose him in the busy streets of London, Barok puts him in his breastpocket.

On a final note, here is my favorite vampire!Albert fic!

Pray forgive the discourtesy of this being more ben than baro or benbaro throughts, I hope me loving to think about the logistics of non-human stuff was still entertaining. I'd love to hear your vampire benbaro thoughts!! :)

[padawansuggest]

Okay so my fave (personal I haven’t seen anyone else do this exact idea tho one or two did similar but in ways I didn’t like) idea for the whole ‘duelsex Stewjoni’ biology idea is that both ‘parts’ are active at all times in the sense that they both function but that you can actively change your gender with a quick hormone treatment that just asks your body to start producing the other one (if you have estrogen it convinces you to make testosterone and the opposite) because that is a much better idea to me because how the fuck are they gonna know the child’s gender or whatever before puberty other than asking??? The simple answer is: it 1000000% doesn’t matter and you just refer to everyone by what they tell you to because that’s literally the best. They don’t GET transphobia because that’s just natural to sometimes change genders lol.

Anyways. Because of that their species is MOSTLY (not all because like calling all clones brothers, Bam really hates transphobia it makes me wanna give you pinkeye) are all she/they or he/they or they/they. It’s rarer for neopronouns but it’s more common than the rest of the galaxy, and super mega rare to be he/him or she/her.

Anyways. What I’m saying. Is that I wanna write a fic where it starts when Obi-Wan is 14 (so I’m mixing it with the AU idea I had where Obi and Satine are younger than canon cause I think it would have been 5000% funnier and also Jaster and Jango would still be alive fight me) and goes to Mandalore but she’s been transitioned (temporarily, because like, I want genderfluid or genderqueer characters like I am so gimme dat) for the past two months and 1: this means that Qui-Gon has to deal with baby lesbians instead of baby crush okay they’re both girls they def 100% think they’re soulmates and tbh they might be but it’s sickening he’s obsessed with them he keeps giving them cute outfits and taking pics to send to Dooku to annoy him about his grand baby’s first crush and 2: Jaster and Jango come crashing into the scene halfway through saying they think they found where Death Watch took Bo-Katan so come on let’s go it’s time to go pick up everyone up and Jaster adopts Satine and Bo and Obi-Wan was adopted by a Nexu momma and has a nexu brother now. She’s fully feral and keeps chirping and mewing at people and it’s so cute.

[venjamin-kingdomhearts]

Ventus and Vanitas for the character asks!! 3, 8, 21, 22, and 23! Sorry if that's too many? You don't gotta do all of em!

HELLO thank you for the ask!! this is a lotta questions but i'm excited to answer them!! Warning, there's a little negativity since some of the questions ask for dislikes about the characters. I love both Ven and Vanitas, I'm just saying my personal thoughts on them! + If you don't agree with these thoughts that's not a huge deal to me, we just agree to disagree LOL

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Ventus - The "You're awful, Aqua" scene. Please Ventus I know you're upset but APOLOGIZE TO AQUA she didn't deserve that. I wish his and Aqua's relationship had more focus in general, because they're really cute when they're together. I genuinely hope Ventus apologizes to her for being a brat in BBS though

Vanitas - To be honest, anything I dislike about Vanitas comes from fanon, since I feel Vanitas does his role as antagonist really well.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Ventus - Two big things.

One: Portraying him as a coldblooded killer when in comes to the KHUX/Strelitzia stuff. I think it's a lot more fun that Ventus didn't mean to hurt anyone, but ended up being responsible for so much pain. It's really tragic, and I think it makes KHUX more interesting as opposed to "Ventus killed Strelitzia out of malice". Also, it's genuinely just funnier like that. I know it's dark but nothing makes me laugh more than the mental image of 10 year old Ventus covered in blood just going "wow is this strawberry jam?? lol how'd this end up here?"

Two: Not the biggest fan of people like. Boiling Ventus' personality to just "oh he's baby". I think Ventus being childish is a really important character flaw, but he's got a lot more to him than just that, and his youthful nature has upsides and downsides. On this note I 100% think Ventus knows what sex is and that that's how babies are made. I know it's a weirdly popular portrayal to just have him not know what sex is at 17 years old. It's also a lot funnier if Ventus just has a different vocabulary from the other characters his age when it comes to adult topics and doesn't understand slang because Master Eraqus taught him that it's impolite to use term XYZ or whatever. Vanitas - Okay this is rough because there's a lot in the KH fandom's portrayals of Vanitas that I really don't like and other things that I really love. But to match Ven I'll boil it down to two big things: One: This one is kinda hard to explain but. I know that Ventus and the Wayfinder Trio DO NOT have to be present in every "Vanitas Redemption Fanfiction" but it really grinds my gears when they're treated as, like, 'close-minded' and completely left out of Vanitas' life. The idea that Vanitas is secretly a good guy and it's just his relationship with the Wayfinders/the Wayfinders themselves are the problem is just such a boring take. They don't have to be on good terms but have Vanitas earn their tolerance, have them settle things, man! It's SO JUICY when they have to work things out or Vanitas feels actual regret and isn't just handed the "you're a good guy now and we trust you" stuff on a silver platter. Ventus, Sora, and Vanitas are a trio...I think that if Sora takes in Vanitas as a friend, he should at least try to understand Ventus' fears about the whole thing.

Two: I think its a BILLION times funnier if Vanitas is shorter than Ventus but SO MANY PEOPLE MAKE HIM TALLER IT PISSES ME OFF. Vanitas and Ventus are either the same size OR Vanitas is shorter. No more tall Vanitas. I am on my hands and knees begging you all. Short King Vanitas. SHORT. KING. VANITAS. As a short person I need this. DO IT FOR ME.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ventus - Hardest thing for me to write when it comes to Ventus are. Sassy remarks/comebacks, and times I'd KNOW he'd be a brat but I can't bring myself to write him saying anything too harsh. But my favorite things to do? I love giving Ventus issues/fears that he would reasonably develop after his 12 year nap. I don't care if canon says he doesn't have horrible insomnia after KH3. He SHOULD have horrible insomnia and I WILL write him crying in frustration when he's struggling with sleep.

Vanitas - I actually don't write Vanitas much. I feel like I can't do him justice, but it's fun to have him just be a douche-bag sometimes. I think I'm not great at his dialogue, but writing about his feelings towards Ventus is fun.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

Ventus - I LOVE fics where Ventus is forced to take a more responsible role, or has to balance his childish nature with a growing sense of maturity. This is one of the reasons I'm SUCH a huge fan of fanfics where Ventus is like a big brother figure to Sora. I also LOVE LOVE LOVE fics where Ventus' anger is explored like. Oh he is FULL of anger, man. As much love and kindness that's in his heart. There is Hatred there too. AND ANY FIC THAT REVOLVES AROUND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SORA AND HOW BEING IN SORA'S HEART AFFECTS HIM. Fic recs that have some of the above tropes!

Hurricane Heartbeat by Dorked

Sleeping hearts often wander by Bommie20

How Long Have You Known Sora, Exactly? by 13thSyndicate

Three Quarters by angeltheatre For Ventus stuff I don't like, see question 8's answer

Vanitas - I love when he's kinda. Forcibly made to form a "truce" with Ventus but keeps testing him. I love fics where Ven's just minding his own business and Vanitas is like "I'm gonna start shit >:)" and they both get called out for being idiots when they fight each other. But OH MAN. MORE THAN THAT. I love love love when fics have Vanitas adapt the attitude of "No one can hurt Ventus BUT ME." it's my favorite flavor of protective Vanitas. For stuff I don't like, see question 8's answer

23. Favorite picture of this character?

[lilac-hecox]

omg brutally honest ship hour?? yk i gotta ask for spommy AND as a bonus shayian bc i wanna hear your take!!!

I hadn't thought about Spommy and then I started following @jovenshires and reading their fics and @soupy-girl's Spommy stuff I am 100% on board! Long live Spommy!

Shayian/Shian/Shayan I love! I feel like Shayne was a great source of support, humor, and guidance for Ian while Anthony was gone and I always, always, always think of Shayne saying that Ian is one of his best friends, that Ian is funnier than even he realizes, and that Ian is not a bummer and is a genuinely great guy. I also do like them a little angsty, but I am also really liking the idea of Shayne/Ian/Anthony!

[kimium]

Tell me your favourite thoughts and ideas about our Saw AU? I love when we talk about it💜💜💜

Oh! How exciting! I love our Saw AU! It's always delightful when I have a moment to talk about it!

For anyone who doesn't know, @m34gs and I have a Twisted Wonderland Saw AU. See this link to my friend's pinned post to read ask answers AND the two Saw AU fics (so far) written by me! Please note any tags and warnings!

My favourite thoughts/ideas about our Saw AU

-Majority of Yuu's friends are serial killers and they have no idea

The sheer humour of Yuu blissfully unaware while their friends are out putting people into traps that 9/10 times result in a horrific murder is priceless. Dramatic Irony!!!

-Dark humour potential is everywhere.

Everyone bickers with one another over their traps! Petty bickering and nitpicking as if they're not talking about murdering people via complicated traps? Watching their traps with the same air as "could we get this done? I have other things to do today"? All of these options are perfection.

-The moment someone being put into a trap has been Mean or Rude to Yuu in some way all bickering stops.

Nothing is funnier to me than the 180 presented where suddenly it's Team Work is Important and We are all Dedicated to this Group Project, etc. If only Yuu knew that they're the glue to getting everyone to set aside their pettiness and become models for "Team Work makes the Dream Work". Yuu truly is the most protected person in the world and they have no idea.

-Everyone is one step away from always shoving someone who was "mildly rude" to Yuu into a trap.

Love that John has to remind everyone to have variety in their victim choices and NOT make it only people who they believe "have slighted Yuu". They all give him a Shocked Pikachu Meme look.

-"Oh no! We made plans with Yuu but forgot and now our trap conflicts with seeing Yuu! How can we make this trap run faster?"

That entire ask is my favourite head canon for this AU because it does exactly what makes my brain vibe with the idea: "Sure, we kill people but seeing Yuu is more important".

-Everyone's different views and motives for following John Kramer's philosophy.

Just love that we've established why and how everyone is different in this AU. It adds so much to this idea rather than having this remain a "Silly, crack AU" idea. I mean, it still is silly and a crack AU, but there is depth to our silliness!

-Not everyone is heavily involved with the traps.

One thing I enjoy is how we rated everyone's willingness to help their house warden out. For example, I am a big fan of Trey knowing what happens and by not doing anything beyond shrugging and baking he's complicit in murder.

-Yuu/Everyone and the dynamic in this AU

I know we haven't discussed this in great detail, but the fact everyone is 100% willing and has killed for Yuu can lend an interesting dynamic to explore if romantic vibes are added to the AU.

-This AU couldn't have happened without you, friend.

I've said this to you multiple times, but I will say it again: I love this AU with all my heart because it is truly a combination of our two interests. I would NEVER write a "sort of" Saw AU without you because I wouldn't have thought about it. That's what makes this AU so perfect and wonderful in my eyes. I cherish it and I cannot wait to see what you write!

And there you have it! My personal favourite ideas and thoughts about this AU! Let me know what you think!

[theheadlesshorseman13]

I really like writing characters when they get drunk. This is because I take the “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts” to heart. So, no matter what character you present me with, I am always going to think “What shit are you gonna do / say when you’re pissed outta your head?”

The TMNT fandom (or at least the 2012 TMNT fandom) all agrees that Raph drinks thanks to Casey being his friend. The show would be so much funnier if it wasn’t intended for children because Raph would get drunk and swear a lot and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Point being, here’s how I think the Footclan boys will be like drunk in my fics.

Bebop (Anton Zeck): Anton definitely has some experience with drinking. He could hold his own pretty well and could party all night. He’s loud when he gets drunk. He’s dancing around, jumping around - he will not sit still at all. He will sing to the song being played (even though he can’t sing for shit) and will always be found passed out drunk on the first floor he thought looked comfy.

Rocksteady (Ivan Steranko): This guy is 100% heavyweight and can and will drink you under the table. He gets really relaxed when he’s drunk and will let almost anything slide. Sober Rocksteady will stop you from doing dumb shit, but drunk Rocksteady will hold your beer while you do the dumb shit and probably told you to do the dumb shit.

Rahzar (Chris Bradford): He’s an aggressive drunk. He will fight anyone and anything after a few stiff drinks have been downed. He will join any fight and not care which side he’s on.

Fishface (Xever): He’s a sad drunk. He will pour out his sob story of a life to you when he’s wanted. He regrets probably all of his life choices and that becomes your problem all because you were within ear shot. And yes, he will cry. He can barely handle his liquor and that his painfully obvious.

Tigerclaw (Takeshi): Tigerclaw, the normally quiet and reserved one of the Footclan mutants will start to talk about basically anything. It’s like releasing a dam of words. He will talk basically everything and anything while the flow of the conversation is bouncier than a rubber ball.

The Knight (Raph): Raphael doesn’t change much when’s drunk. He acts almost the exact same but whatever self control he has got booted out the window the second anything alcoholic touched his lips. He can hold himself very well. If he and Rocksteady got into a drinking match he has a 50 - 50 chance of winning. He is the life of the party while drunk. He’s joking with people, chatting, singing and dancing and he’s 100% flirty.

Shredder (Oroku Saki): @pyrrhicraven thinks he’s a chatty drunk and while I agree to that, I find the thought of him being a more flirty drunk to be hilarious. He’s definitely more lenient and can definitely hold his own, when he’s wasted enough he basically forgets the strict social rules he had set for himself. He sees Raph and just is laser focused on him and him alone. Raphael’s out dancing? Shredder’s standing about five feet away watching him with a lovesick look in his eyes. Shredder will definitely go up to Takeshi and just gush about what a good friend he is before going off to find Raph. Oh, and he is 110% an affectionate drunk. If Raph is sat down for even a second he will be there, probably trying to show Raph how much he loves him. This is why he doesn’t drink in front of his men (especially after he started dating Raph) once they found out how he acts (Tigerclaw already knows cause he’s Shredder’s best friend) he will never live it down.

[because-its-eurovision]

[kicks down your door] I HEARD YOUR ANXIETY WAS TALKIN SHIT AND IM HERE TO THROW HANDS WITH IT

okay first off, I know how you feel, and you know that I know cus you've seen me have anxiety episodes with these similar feelings of not being good enough or being unimportant or unwanted during out shared time in BC fandom. so I would like to start just by squeezing your hand and reminding you that you're not alone or the only one to occasionally feel this way, your feelings are valid and you're allowed to feel them, even tho they're not based on anything rational and you don't deserve to feel like that, because you are important and valued by the people around you.

you don't owe a participation fee to be part of a fandom. not in money, not by dedicating a certain number of hours, not by creating a specific amount of content, not by reaching some threshold of followers to be considered popular enough to participate. if you like the thing, you qualify. that's all there is. also, fandom is not a limited space with a numbered seats where one person's involvement is somehow taking room from anybody else. fandom is a universe that expands infinitely as more and more people join. it's impossible to take up space that you wouldn't deserve, because there is always more room for everybody to join.

furthermore, I may not be in the Käärijä fandom but I've been lucky to share fandom(s) with you in the past, and I've seen the way you contribute. you have always been one of the nicest, most welcoming, supportive people around, you're so willing to answer everyone's questions and welcome them into your space, and I don't think you even realize how important it is to have people like that in fandoms. the love and kindness and encouragement you show to others has not gone unnoticed, and that is also a way of contributing, and something I've seen you do so much for as long as I've known you. I mean, where in the hell else am I supposed to throw my dumb ESC questions at? people are scary, so I need someone nice and easy to approach. I need you. so your claim about how you don't do your part is, with all due love and respect, complete bullshit anyway <3 you do more than enough, you just don't see it yourself.

last but not least, Käärijä gigs may be queer safe spaces, but they're not queer exclusive. in fact, very few, if any, queer spaces in the world are ever exclusive - even pride parades, drag shows or gay bars aren't, straight cis people who have the basic decency and respect towards the culture are welcomed to those too. so for a music show by an artist that, afaik, isn't even openly queer himself? you're absolutely 100% allowed to go and enjoy your time. it is your space just as much as everyone else's.

you're a fucking gift and the Käärijä fandom is fucking blessed to have you. I'm aggressively kissing your forehead and I hope you can make it and have fun at the cruise. you deserve it. 🖤

Coming from you, this means so much 🥺 and you just reached out to be nice and give encouraging words?? 😭🖤 You're the person I looked up to the most when BCtumblr was in its most active phase, and still do, because you always have your way with words and take time to be wise and insightful and kind to everyone passing by despite battling your own anxiety demons, and I know you have it so much worse than I do which again makes me feel guilty for complaining and extremely grateful for you being so supportive.

I'm just so tired of feeling ashamed of myself and like I'm never good enough, and the constant voice in my head telling that I should be funnier and nicer and braver and prettier and more outgoing and spontaneous, and you telling me that I'm kind and friendly is so nice but strange because I do not see that side in myself at all, and I maybe feel like being welcoming or answering asks isn't tangible enough?? Like you know as opposed to producing content, because I can't draw or write fics or make tiktok edits or memes or be the first to post or comment something, and while I do know it's not demanded and nobody gives a rat's ass about what I do or don't do or post, I kind of feel responsible to pay back to the fandom(s) that have given me so much. I believe that the feeling of never doing or being enough or the pressure of being constantly present isn't a fandom-specific problem but a part of everyday life now, for me at least, but in fandom spaces, bubbles, it is somehow more concentrated.

I'm also feeling constantly guilty about being white and cis and straight and healthy because there are so many around me that are not and a having hard times because of that, and I try to do my best for making the world a better place and be a good ally and a decent person, but I'm just one guy and I'm exhausted, and even right now there are multiple anon asks in my box calling me out and saying I'm disgusting because I'm not saying what they want to hear and posting the kind of content they'd like to see from me, and. it's just too much. i'm so tired of being alive sometimes.

Thank you for being in my life, Abby. Ily 🖤

[stridingseer]

cant say i have any specific asks about inception ships but i am more than happy to hear you talk about rarepairs because there is simply not enough content here <3

Okay this uh, admittedly might get long (I am going to do this in point form for the sheer rambles). Very Long Thoughts Under the cut!!

Eames/Robert Fischer

One thing that keeps on swinging around to me every time I write them or read about them is this one constant theme, aka the idea of Identity.

Who is Robert supposed to be after the inception? How does he reconcile with breaking up his inheritance? Who is he outside of his father? Who is he besides being the son of Maurice Fischer?

For Eames, it's a bit funkier but Eames is a forger. His identity is anything that the job needs him to be. But then, who is he really? Is he a combination of his forges? Yes he plays a role for the others but what are his thoughts about it?

(I recently got a reply back from another writer for this ship that pointed out that Eames got to deal with the psychological aspect of the inception and I can't help but wonder: how does he feel about having to do this to Fischer in the first place?)

What happens post canon between these two is SUCH an oasis for writing ideas. Have them meet years later at a bar! Maybe Robert chooses to break up his empire and then go AWOL before running into Eames (maybe Eames steals his wallet for the THIRD FUCKING time, admittedly it'd be funny)

Similarly: what did Eames see at Fischer-Marrow while he was there? The two of them probably did meet which means the first meeting is one of infinite possibilities. I just love the idea of Eames introducing himself, calls Robert by Fischer, and then Robert corrects him to use his first name. (names as intimacy and trust!! NAMES AS INTIMACY AND TRUST)

I do have this headcanon that Eames also has like similar-esque issues as Robert which is why he's the one who more or less starts digging in from the angle of the father-son relationship. In a way it's him getting his own catharsis when Robert gets his but again, it can get really messy. It's also why he keeps on bringing it up. Anyways they both have family issues and they're foils your honor.

Would like to thank This Fic for getting me into the pairing though there are som Very Good Ones in the tag. I love them all dearly.

Anyways I have a cannibal + shapeshifter roadtrip fic in my drafts and it's actually an exploration on identity. And also a second person fic from Robert's POV that tackles his relationship w/ his father like my relationship with both of my parents. Consider it an alternative reading of sorts

Arthur/Dom Cobb

Basically they're inception's reasonable right hand man/mastermind who has Big Ideas (aka Rusty and Danny from Ocean's 11 though admittedly their dynamic is way different)

Read them as exes who can't leave each other alone and it suddenly becomes quite funny to watch the movie in that way. Cuz then it makes Arthur's constant :/ funnier but he's STILL hanging around.

I like the idea of the two of them living together to take care of Cobb's kids at the end of inception! Arthur comes to visit and ends up staying way longer. They are now common in laws.

And given his logical brain, if any of the kids needs him w/ history or math or geography, Arthur is There because his whole job

One thing that does rotate in my head is just the sheer loyalty that Arthur has for Cobb? Like the Fischer job goes wrong on the first layer in and he, like Eames, can say that he can voice that he's walking off the job. The Thing is his choice to Not to. Tiny thing but it speaks volumes. Also if they go to hotels, these two basically live together even on the job.

So Arthur 100% knew Mal which means that I imagine that it's Cobb who first dragged him into dreamsharing. I just like the idea of the three of them testing limits and whatnot (it's very Ocean's 11 in its parallels but it also gives more depth and food to think about. Of course Mal and Cobb get married and Arthur is not bitter about it, not at all)

I also raise you the idea of Eames calling Arthur a 'nanny' for watching over Cobb's kids. And then Eames gets called 'gold digger' for getting with Robert. Neither of them are wrong about it technically but it could be that it's a fun in joke/dig at each other.

MORE FICS ABOUT THEIR FIRST EXTRACTIONS TOGETHER AND WHATNOT!! There is so much food for thought about how they managed to find their place in their extraction world.

On a similar note: their first adventures in the dreamscape. Basically the question of 'how many times has Cobb shot Arthur to wake him up'.

[allylikethecat]

Ally!!! I loved the new chapter!! Also the air is getting colder where I live so I literally poured myself a glass of prosecco and curled up with a blanket in my living room to read the newest chapter 😭😭

The fact that fictional!Matty wandered into fictional!Noahs place and didn’t notice is hilarious. The fact the Noah didn’t bother to wake him or freak tf out over a random person in their home is even funnier (i say that because it’s something that would happen to me lmao) I guess Noah is already a little smitten over a handsome drunk man stumbling into his space and Matty is smitten over a nice tall mountain man offering to feed him…

Also quick question: Is fictional!George gonna pop up in the fic or is he a thing of fictional!Mattys past??? Is this gonna be a love triangle????? I wouldn’t complain either way I fully trust the vision

anyway,,,, I hope you’re doing well how are you and pop???

🥤

Ahhh Hello My Dear Smoothie Anon! It is a pleasure to hear from you as always, I hope you are doing well. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed the new chapter and that you were able to get all cozy while reading it! It's still 100+ degrees out where I live, so I am very much pretending I am living in the cooler Vermont weather!

HAHA Fictional!Noah was just so confused, he was just trying to walk his dog he wasn't expecting to find a man in the back of his pickup truck... but also the man was pretty cute and CLEARLY going through it... no way his pathetic hungover ass was a threat 😂 But also ... Fictional!Noah is very empathetic and observant, and he knows a person that is doing *well* doesn't just... move to the middle of nowhere Vermont and then get drunk out and pass out in the back of someone else's truck. 👀 thank you SO MUCH for reading and I am so excited for this one to continue to unfold!

In terms of Fictional!George - he will be playing a role in this fic but maybe not in the way one expects, it also is NOT a Gatty fic despite Fictional!Matty's fantasies in the beginning!

Pop and I are doing well! He took a bit of a tumble a few weeks ago that upset me a lot more than him (luckily only his ego was bruised and he was physically fine even if it emotionally took a few years off my life) I've just been so busy with real life lately which is extremely rude, like excuse me I have FIC to write and TUMBLR to spend time on! I hope you are doing well and that you continue to enjoy my works! I'm excited to here your continuing thoughts on Forever. as well as tomorrow's update! 👀 Thank you so much for being so lovely and wonderful! I hope you have a great rest of your night and a wonderful rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[honestlyeddie-im-bi]

Car wash👀👀

Anon, thank you so much for asking ADHSRKFSGGERFHAWEOD

So, the idea for this fic came to me when Anirudh Pisharody posted that photo of him wearing the turnout pants, the suspenders and nothing else and my whole dashoboard was thirsting after him (as we should, the guy is HOT)

So the idea was "what if one day the 118 decides to take part of a charity sexy car wash and you've got chimney claiming he's gonna be the hottest because he was the only one who was chosen for the calendar, eddie pretending not to care but 100% convinced no one can defeat eight-pack, and buck who trains in his sleep, UNTIL ravi gets there and they all bow down to the king".

There was also a scene I was planning with Ali coming around the 118 to leave a donation and to apologize to Buck, but the whole thing was buddie-coded.

I tried writing this fic but I think it requires someone way funnier than I am, so if someone finds this post and is intrigued, please I am leaving this plot up for adoption ashaeduskfhjsfkj

[bitegore]

For the Meme for Fic Writers questions

4, 11, and 20 (:

omg i totally missed this, sorry

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

[shrieks]

AT LAST COUNT i had 100+ fics in the actual oven cooking and more wip ideas aside. That was a month ago. So probably like. Double that or some shit.

and sure i'll share one. I'm working on a barely-a-fic-mostly-a-game fic wherein you play Vortex in a choice based novel running around deliberately trying to get on Motormaster's nerves. This is all for the sake of it being really funny to get on Motormaster's nerves.

Check out this intro text lmao

Motormaster is the leader of a team of Decepticons known as the Stunticons. All five of them are loose-cannon losers who talk so big they could never possibly hope to live up to what they claim. Motormaster in particular has a temper on him like a stick of dynamite someone left in a furnace-- explosive, dangerous, and liable to go off basically without provocation. It is really fucking funny to set him off, because it's so easy and you can do it so often without him getting wise. Trouble is that he will then beat you up. That objectively just makes it funnier as long as there's something wrong with you. Your name is Vortex. This is the best thing that's ever happened to you.

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

I don't actually know how to answer this. Yes and no? I can't not write, but writing isn't going to be my life and I'm not making it be so. I don't want to live off my writing, I want to have a job that pays real money so I can eat. You know? It's a fun hobby because I will force it to stay that way by beating it back with a baseball bat if needs be. It is never graduating from its position as thing that I do for fun.

But like, no, I can't not write, it's not just a hobby any more than art is for me. But it's still a fun hobby. I don't know. I'm not really sure what the definition for "my passion" is, either- I'm passionate about everything.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

I am not expected to do anything for the day

It is warm enough that I can sit still without my feet getting cold

I have easy access to sugary drinks, caffienated or not doesn't matter, and they are warm (ie: tea, coffee, hot cocoa)

I have an idea I like and I've slept well enough to think words with my brain

I have music I like that I can listen to as opposed to music I find boring as fuck to listen to (this only happens like once every three days because I get bored of music so fast lately)

Something is happening in my house but I am not obligated to care, so that if I get bored I can go get up and say hi to someone in the kitchen and then go back to writing

There's easily-made food in the house

My computer is okay with being moved from room to room and i have more than one room to go hang out in

Someone is online on the internet that I can send snippets to without having to talk to them for more than 20 minutes and lose The Juice

my hands don't hurt and i don't have a headache

I know these are the ideal conditions because these are the conditions under which i can write 5000+ words and 10+ stories in one sitting and not feel drained at the end. Do you know how difficult that is? It is not easy lmfao. I've genuinely optimized that shit. this is why i write so much more during the summer even barring school- discomfort makes it way harder for me to write and the cold is always discomfortable for me lmfao

Questions list can be found here :D

[depairt]

Art for The Gentle Art of Making Enemies by Duckyboos ☆[Click here and heckin' get to readin']☆ ☆Summary☆ Dean’s house-sitting for his brother. He’s enjoying having the place to himself, with its huge master bedroom, Olympic-sized swimming pool, and amazing sound system. By coincidence, Dean’s ex-best friend, Cas, ends up on the doorstep, and together they drink, get high, and fight about why their friendship broke down fourteen months ago.

But at least they’re talking.

Everything starts to go wrong, however, when what Dean and Cas assume is just a run-of-the-mill creeper phones after midnight, threatening to show up and murder the shit out of them. Dean doesn’t take it seriously, at least not until the phone and power lines are cut, the cell signals jammed, and oh… who the fuck is that out there by the pool with a freakin’ chainsaw?

This piece is brought to you by Duckyboos possessing my pencil. Like, this fic has got me laughing, shoulder-dancing, arting with 100% joy, and whistlin', and... It's a Destiel-slasher-dark-comedy dream, and the boyz are so GOOFY, I swear to god. And I'm crazy inlove with them, because hello, look at them.

Just read it.

And I'm so happy I got to illustrate this one *happy tears*. Like, I get a dm... I read tattoos, I read piercings -- already love it -- but I also read kimono and HECKIN' heartshaped glasses. And that's just endorphin overload for me.

Ty Ducky, and also ty for every other amazin' fic - ya'KNO. <3

[starbuck]

ten years ago today, i was apparently too depressed to update my journal (checks out lol), but the previous entry makes up for it… the degree to which i have not changed in a decade is honestly kind of hilarious…

[rosiehunterwolf]

This request is the result of a very awake mind at 2 am. How about a part crack, part tooth-rotting fluff fic about and interview with characters of your choice.

I tried my best with this... it's difficult to do crack in such a short piece (hence this one ended up being a little longer) and although I think writing crack is really fun, I have no experience in the field XD. So... hope this is what you were looking for XD.

The Case of the Forgotten Birthday Gift

Summary: When the ninja are invited to the Ivory City of Shintaro for Princess Vania’s birthday, they find themselves in the most devastating predicament of all- they forgot to bring a birthday gift for Vania. In a panic, Cole offers her a chance to interview them as compensation. Not everyone is thrilled about the idea.

“We thank you for attending Princess Vania’s birthday,” King Vangelis said, hovering before the ninja with two winged guardsmen at his sides. “We ask that you leave any gifts on this table.” He gestured towards a table that was practically groaning under the weight of all the presents atop it.

“Um.” Cole blanched. “Gift?”

“Cole!” Jay whispered harshly in his ear. “Don’t tell me. That you didn’t bring a present for the princess. On her birthday.”

“I didn’t bring one? Last time I checked, we were all invited! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, I didn’t, so you better come up with something now or they’ll never invite us back here again!”

“Uh…” Cole’s brain felt like it was whirring a mile a minute, and he reluctantly turned back to the king. “Thank you, your majesty, but our gift to the princess is not something material.”

King Vangelis raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“No, it’s a… it’s um… we’re giving you a free interview.”

“What?!” the other ninja all yelped, at the same time that Vania beamed, clapping her hands together.

“I get to interview the ninja? The ninja? Truly, this is the best birthday present ever!”

“Cole,” Kai groaned, putting his head in his hands, “what have you done?”

---

“When I told you to come up with something to give the princess, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Jay grumbled from where he was sitting stiffly in a chair next to Cole. “Did you really have to offer the girl who’s obviously a bit bonkers about us an interview?”

“I didn’t see you coming up with anything better,” Cole snapped. “Besides, she may be a bit obsessed, but she seems nice enough. Just go along with it. She’s like any other fan.”

“Any other fan, you say? I wouldn’t be so sure!”

Cole sighed, glancing back at where Lloyd was standing atop his chair, glaring down at them. “Lloyd, sit down.”

“She’s no normal fan, I’m telling you! I don’t trust her! She was too excited about this interview! She’s out to get us, she just wants to trick us into giving away information so she can exploit our weaknesses!”

Kai glanced back and forth between Lloyd and Cole. “Seriously, does no one else see what an obvious cry for therapy this is?”

“Lloyd!” Cole hissed. “For the last time! Sit. Down.”

“Don’t worry, Lloyd,” Zane said as the teen plopped down grumpily in his seat. “The odds of our team member’s princess girlfriend turning out to be the leader of a criminal gang for the second time in our lives are practically nonexistent! Under seventy percent, at least.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Cole snapped.

Zane blinked. “Well, then whose is she?”

“Not mine,” Jay told them, grabbing Nya’s hand. “I’m already engaged!”

Kai laughed. “No thanks, she’s not my type. Plus, I already have a girlfriend who stabbed me in the back, although luckily for me, mine came around, eventually.”

“For the last time, Vania is not going to betray us!”

“It’s not our fault we have trust issues,” Lloyd sniffed. “You’d think someone would book us therapy, but apparently that’s not a priority.”

“Well, if she herself isn’t evil, maybe she’s related to someone evil!” Kai said. “Skylor’s evil, psychotic father influenced her to turn on me. Do you think Vania has an evil, psychotic father?”

“Definitely,” Lloyd agreed, at the same time Nya said “No way.”

Nya shook her head. “Do you know how ridiculous you guys sound? How many evil, psychotic fathers can there be out there?”

“Um. There’s Chen, Milton Dyer, Skales, my father- need I go on?”

“Don’t forget Nadakhan’s evil djinn father!” Jay chimed. Lloyd blinked at him. “Who?”

“See? That’s barely any!” Nya exclaimed. “Besides, like half of those people are good now, so they don’t count.”

“But they were, which means there’s a high chance of King Vangelis being evil and psychotic-”

“Who’s evil and psychotic?” A cheery voice interrupted them as Princess Vania pushed open the doors.

“Oh, uh… just an old villain we faced,” Cole covered quickly.

“Oh, you must tell me all about them!” Vania smiled, pushing the doors closed behind her and clicking the lock.

Kai blinked. “Did you just lock us in?”

“Of course! I can’t have anyone else breaking in here and trying to eavesdrop on my very special interview!”

“Do people break into your room often?” Nya laughed.

“Not at all! Only a few times a week.”

“Um… you do realize that we’re crime-fighting ninja, right?” Jay told her. “We have lots of enemies. Maybe you should have some people guarding us while we’re here.”

“Oh, don’t worry! If anyone attacks you, Chompy will scare them off!” The ninja looked to where she was pointing to see a tiny dragon snoozing on Vania’s bed.

“Oh, how reassuring,” Kai said dryly. “The overgrown gecko can keep us safe.”

Vania raised an eyebrow. “You’re lucky he’s asleep. Mr. Chompy does not play nice when he’s angry.”

“Oh yeah, I’m so scared,” Kai grinned, leaning back.

Vania narrowed her eyes at him. “He killed a dire bat once.”

“Yeah, well, we fought off an entire flock of them from our ship.”

“First of all, it’s called a colony of bats, not a flock. Second, I know that a squadron of our guards had to go save you.”

“We didn’t need saving! They interrupted us just as I was about to use my mighty fire powers to burn them to a crisp!” “Chompy would knock them out of the sky before you could do that.”

“Yeah, well, I could squish Chompy under my foot.”

“Chompy could gouge out your eyes.”

“Oookay, as fun as this is,” Cole interrupted, pushing them apart, “Let’s just get this interview over with. Vania, what questions did you want to ask us?”

“Hold on.” Vania jogged over to the wall and pulled over a small table, setting up a camera on top of it.

Jay stared at it. “What is that.”

“I need to record this, silly!”

“What’s the point of locking us in here and not letting anyone else listen in if you’re just going to broadcast this whole thing to everyone, anyway?” Nya asked.

“Because seeing it live isn’t half as fun as watching a recording!”

“Then why record it at all?”

“How else am I going to rub it in all my friends’ faces that I met the ninja?”

“This is a non-consensual violation of my privacy,” Jay grumbled.

“Oh please, your face is over half the city,” Cole sighed.

“Welcome back to Truthful Tidbits! I’m your host, Vania, and I’m here with an exclusive episode today- with me, I have the famous ninja!” “What,” Lloyd said slowly, “are you doing?”

“It’s for my TV show,” Vania whispered.

“You have a TV show?” Nya spluttered.

“Wait, no one told me this was going to be on TV!” Kai yelped. “The camera’s not getting my good side!”

“Wait, if this is a TV show, shouldn’t we have makeup artists or something?”

“Jay’s right!” Kai agreed. “I can’t go on television without a makeover!”

“My database shows no recollection of the show ‘Truthful Tidbits.’”

“It’s not on mainstream television,” Vania grumbled. “I just show them to my videography class.”

“Oh.” Jay relaxed in his chair. “That’s it?”

“What do you mean, that’s it? People are still going to see me without makeup! Just because it’s a small group doesn’t make this any less of a disaster!”

“I’m hoping to change that,” Vania beamed. “This is the big break I need! An interview with the ninja? Everyone will want to see it!”

“Andddd we’re back to privacy invasion again,” Jay groaned.

“Wanna bounce, Jay?” Lloyd asked.

“Do I ever-”

“Count me in, guys, I’m not doing this without a proper makeup job-”

“If you guys are all leaving, I’m not going to stay!” Nya insisted. “Zane?”

“It seems futile to stay if you all are leaving.” “You can’t leave!” Vania cried. “This is my present! Besides, you’re locked in here!”

Lloyd stared her dead in the eyes. “I will literally jump out the window to get out of this.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ll die!”

“Then tell Chumpy to catch me,” he told her, already climbing into the window.

“It’s Chompy!”

“Oh no, you don’t.” Kai reached out a hand, snatching the back of Lloyd’s gi before he could jump. “I don’t want to spend the rest of our stay in a hospital. What did you think was going to happen, you were going to sprout wings?”

“I’m part dragon,” Lloyd grumbled. “It’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility.”

“I have a much less life-threatening way. Stand back.” Kai’s fist lit up in flames.

“I swear, Kai, if you burn down anything, we are never coming back here,” Cole warned.

“A little arson never hurt anyone.” Hurtling a fireball at the door, it burst into flames. Quickly, it burned a human-sized hole in the door, and Kai, Jay, and Lloyd quickly darted through.

“What about my interview?” Vania protested. “You promised!”

“Technically, Cole was the one who promised you the interview,” Zane pointed out. “He never specified which of us you would be interviewing.”

“And since Cole’s staying, we’re technically not breaking that promise!” Nya added.

Cole blinked. “I’m what?”

“Staying. Have fun, you two!” Nya waved, and the two of them shot out the door, spraying ice and water as they passed to extinguish the flames.

“Sorry about that, princess,” Cole said, scratching the back of his neck.

Vania narrowed her eyes. “This better be the best interview ever.”

Cole grinned. “Mark my words, it will be. Fire away.”

“Speaking of fire, you’re paying for my door.”

“... Yeah, I figured.”