#The dynamics here are SO interesting. there will be more

[kiame-sama]

How would the HAE boys react to finding out the reader is pregnant with their child(ren)? (I’m unsure if you’ve answered a similar request but either way, I love your writing!!!)

This is only one half of the yanderes, Including the Hoard (Sebek, Silver, Lilia, Malleus), Poisonous Beauty (Vil and Rook), Octo-Trio (Azul, Jade, Floyd), and Idia. I will do part two with the other NCR characters

Warnings: as the request states, Yandere, yandere behavior, yandere relationship, pregnancy warning, afab reader (though I will keep pronouns they/them), large mention of poly relationships with the fellas (many mention poly relationships and some require a poly relationship to be in any relationship [ie. The Hoard and Malleus]), by selecting 'view more' you consent to view content and are of age to view content, some have oviposition based on the species, mainly ficlets, any appearances made by Grim or Ortho are solely platonic, some graceful responses, some not so graceful responses, all positive responses, mostly fluff minus some teasing and confusion, not all take place at the same time, various 'relationship routes', mostly poly relationships, various poly group dynamics*

*Special note; In The Hoard, Lilia and Silver are NOT romantically interested, they are father and son and hold firmly to that.

*Special note; In the Octo-Trio, Jade and Floyd are NOT romantically interested, they are twins and have always shared things.

The Hoard:

Malleus Draconia (300+)

"You... what?"

Malleus stood in complete disbelief and surprise, waiting for it to be some kind of joke made in poor taste, but the serious expression of his beloved Human never once left their face. It took only a few moments longer for him to realize his beloved Human (Y/n) was- in fact- not joking. A momentary pause gave way to genuine jubilation and joy as the air seemed to noticeably warm.

The Dragon was quick to fall to his knees and press both clawed hands eagerly to his beloved mate's stomach, as if he were trying to see the egg- hopefully eggs, plural- forming in their soft womb. Though he couldn't see them yet, he was more than elated to know that inside of his mate was the formation of his young. He would make sure that his hatchlings had what he never got the privilege of having- both parents. He never got to meet his father or mother, but he would be damned if the same ever had the chance to befall his own children.

"Are you... happy?"

"Of course I am! I am thrilled we will bring the next generation of Draconias into our humble home. Lilia is an expert in raising Dragon hatchlings- he raised me after all- so I am certain the others in the Hoard will be so thrilled to hear you are with child. Our child."

Malleus continued to hum and purr, nuzzling his nose ever so gently against the soft stomach of his beloved. How many times he has wished and hoped for such an event to come to pass. He knew there were many things to prepare for; forming the proper foundation of a Hoard for his new young, preparing the 'Cradle' to imbue the egg with his magic, just getting the egg here in the first place, deciding names, announcing it to Briar Valley, all of it. He had to make sure it was all perfect for his perfect family.

"Come, let us share our wonderful news with the rest of the Hoard, I'm sure young Grim is going to be thrilled to be an older brother."

~~~~

Lilia Vanrouge (800+)

"Repeat that for me?"

"I'm... Pregnant?"

"One more time."

"Lilia."

Lilia chuckled at the gentle scolding tone that his wonderful Human grumbled out in, their frustrated frown making him acquiesce. He had asked at least five times for it to be repeated because he just loved the sound of those words coming from someone he adored ever so much. Naturally, he was elated and looked forward to any young running around the gloomy castle of Briar Valley.

"Do you know which of us is the father yet? I'm certain Malleus will be thrilled to hear the royal clutch of eggs will have siblings."

"Yeah, the palace doctor told me based on the wings growing, they have to be yours!"

This actually made the old Bat Fae visibly pause, turning to look with wide and almost hesitantly excited eyes. Surely the sweet Human was joking right?

"They...?"

"They're... yours? Are you okay Lilia? You're not... you're not angry, are you?"

Lilia realized how his surprise must have been perceived as he was quick to immediately try and soothe the somewhat stressed and worried Human he adored. Of course he was happy, he just wasn't honestly expecting to get young of his own so soon. He figured Silver or Sebek would be next.

"No! I could never be angry, not about this! This is wonderful news! It may be a bit confusing for Silver, but he is smart and I know he will adore them as their older brother. How could he not? I'm sure Malleus himself will be more than taken with our little pup!"

Lilia was clearly happy and seemed to be bouncing as he stood behind he beloved Human, wrapping his wings around their body, all while holding their soft stomach in his hands. He had long decided to adore any child borne into the Hoard, but he knew he would be especially gentle with this one. How could he not? They were his, after all.

"Let's go tell Malleus the Hoard will have more than the Royal Clutch to take care of."

~~~~

Sebek Zigvolt (19)

"Your Majesty!"

Sebek cried as he rushed forward, keen to help despite the fact the soft Human in his arms had merely stumbled on the edge of the large rugs lain across the floor. As a retainer for both Malleus and the Human, Sebek was always keenly alert for any sign of discomfort or potential threats. Naturally, even things that weren't genuine threats were treated as such, even as Sebek growled angrily at the rug.

"Vile thing! Tripping up my Majesty (Y/n), you will burn for this!"

"Sebek."

"Yes, your Majesty?"

"I've told you that you can call me by my name, you're one of my mates, you don't have to call me 'Majesty' all the time."

"But I must! As one of your loyal guards, it is my sworn oath-"

The loud half-Fae was hushed gently by a finger over his lips, immediately swallowing down his words and paying apt attention. Of course the half-Fae was loyal, he came from a long line of guards and his non-Fae half happened to be a guard-dog species in the literal sense. He was genetically wired to be a good guard and a loyal companion.

"I just returned from a visit to the palace physician, he has confirmed I am pregnant again."

"This is wonderful news! We should-"

"Not done yet."

"My apologies."

"Sebek, when they checked, they found several heartbeats and confirmed that the embryos growing are canine in appearance with long tails. Meaning you are the father of this current litter."

It took a moment for Sebek to fully understand what was being said to him, his eyes widening and his ears sitting up at attention. His tail began a slow wag that quickly evolved into a whipping force, as he slammed his tail back and forth with barely contained excitement despite the stress inside of him.

"I'm- I'm going to be a father?"

"Yes."

"Truly?"

"Yes, you adorable crocodile-dog."

"I... I NEED TO TELL EVERYONE!!"

~~~~

Silver (24)

"Are you too cold, (Y/n)?"

"Silver, I'm fine. I promise if there was anything bothering me, I would tell you."

"I simply don't wish for you to be uncomfortable..."

"I know, and I appreciate that."

The Reindeer happily trotted through the almost jagged gardens of the Briar Valley Palace, his adored Human resting on a specially made saddle strapped to his secondary back. As the official steed, it was Silver's job to ensure that he checked in regularly with the soft Human on his back, especially after the recent announcement that they had become pregnant once more. He would be damned before anything bad happened to the Human he adored whole-heartedly.

"Silver, since we have some peace in the gardens, I wanted to talk with you about something."

"Of course. Whatever you need, I am here to listen and aid."

"At my most recent check-up to see how the pregnancy is coming along, and they made an interesting discovery. I was a bit dubious at first, but after more examination, the Palace physician discovered this one has hooves."

"... Hooves?"

"Yes."

Silver didn't really seem to understand what he was being told and vaguely thought it odd that his beloved Human emphasized the presence of hooves in regard to their newly forming young. It took several long beats of silence before the Human tried again to gently lead Silver to the right conclusion.

"Out of Malleus, Lilia, Sebek, and you, it would only make sense that the hooves were inherited from the one that is the likely father."

"That would make sense."

He wasn't getting it. A more direct approach was clearly needed.

"That means you, Silver."

This got the Reindeer to pause in place, his head cocking from one side to the other before he turned, auroral colored eyes wide in surprise.

"... Me?"

"Yes, you."

"I'm.... I'm gonna be a Papa?"

"Yes."

"Does Father know?"

"Not yet. You're the first I've told."

There was a clear excitement in the typically tired Reindeer's eyes as he hoped slightly, turning and almost dashing to the doors that lead deeper into the palace. Naturally, the increased pace meant the soft Human had to reflexively hold onto the horn of the saddle to not lose their balance.

"Silver??"

"We have to tell Father! And Malleus! And Sebek! They'll all be as thrilled as I am!"

~~~~

Shinigami Woes

Idia Shroud (88)

"Oh, fuck. Like, irl?"

"The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"No! I didn't mean it like that! I just-! I mean-! I'm a sweaty, gross, gamer nerd. I honestly didn't think you would want to stick around with me or have-"

A sudden excited voice broke through what was meant to be a private conversation between Human and Shinigami, as the previously eavesdropping Ortho burst into the room. He was so excited his leg locked up beneath him, making him stumble into the kind hug of (Y/n). Of course the child Shinigami was listening, he adored both his older brother and the Human as siblings and wanted the two of them to be together since day one.

"That means you're going to have a new baby! I won't be the baby of the family anymore!"

"Ortho," (Y/n) gently scolded the excitable young Shinigami, unable to stop the smile tugging at their lips, "You know better than to eavesdrop when you weren't part of the initial conversation."

"I'm sorry, but I'm just so excited! I'll have a new friend in three years!"

This made a soft sigh escape the Human, as it was quite vexingly true; Shinigami pregnancies- even half Shinigami- took three years of gestation. Of course, no one was excited to be pregnant for that long, but such was the nature of Shinigami young.

"Yes, and you'll be an uncle. so I hope you'll teach your new family member everything you can so they are as kind and smart as you."

Ortho whooped at this, leaping up excitedly and turning on his jets to fly from the room, his voice fading away as he clearly shouted the news to everyone within earshot. This left Idia to face off with his loving and adoring Human mate who was a little less than pleased with his initial reaction.

"Why is he more excited about this than you are?"

"Ghk! I didn't mean-! What I was trying to say is-!"

The Shinigami sighed and then gave a genuine smile, one of happiness twinged with a bit of stress, but a true smile none the less.

"I am thrilled we will have a tiny ankle-biter together. I can show them all the ways technology can be used and Ortho will finally have someone closer in age to play with. But, it is a long pregnancy, and I would wage a guess it won't be easy. But fuck it, I'll grind out some parenting levels and see what Papa Hades thinks is best. We're going to have the most skilled and smart gamer-kid to ever exist with all the best stats!"

~~~~

Poisonous Beauty

Vil Schoenheit (25)

"Yes, (Y/n), my Dear, what is it?"

The ever popular and busy Harpy actor glanced over his shoulder from the script he was reading, a warm smile pulling at this lovely face as he saw his beloved Human standing in the doorway. His door was always open to his two mates, (Y/n) and Rook no matter what he was doing or how busy he was. Even if he was actively hashing out contracts and deal signings, he would always have time to speak to his lovers.

"Vil, I have some news, not sure if you'll find it exciting or not, but I think Rook will be over the moon."

"Oh? And what is this 'exciting' news?"

"Since I've been having such an upset stomach recently, I decided I should go see a doctor just to make sure everything is alright with me. He said my white blood-cell count is high and the eggs are doing just fine in their now calcifying shells."

"That is wonderful news, I-" Vil paused for a moment, his neatly groomed brows furrowing ever so slightly, "eggs?"

"Yes, actually. Four healthy eggs."

"... and they have calcium heavy shells?"

"Yes. I was worried I wouldn't be able to tell if they were yours or Rook's given you both are egg bearing species, but-"

Vil couldn't wait to pull his sweet and adoring Human into his embrace, burying his face in their shoulder as he spun them around. Naturally, the ever observant hunter was keenly aware of the sounds of mirth and cooing made by his two life-partners and came to investigate what the commotion was all about.

"Roi du Poison, mon Trickster, why the sudden excitement? Has something wonderful happened?"

"Rook! (Y/n) is-! We are going to have-!"

(Y/n) gave a gentle chuckle at how much Vil struggled to get the words out, smiling adoringly at the Harpy who was cooing and fluttering his wings, his tail feathers shaking in excitement. It was clear the Harpy was besides himself with joy as his tail feathers and crest rose up into a full display, very loud cheerful calls escaping the throat of the Harpy.

"Dieu merci! What has happened to put our lovely Roi du Poison in such a radiant mood?"

"My visit to the doctors today revealed something wonderful, Rook. I am indeed healthy- despite my recent bouts of illness in the morning- and the four eggs I am carrying are healthy as well!"

"Merveilleux! My beautiful mates! We will make excellent parents!"

Rook Hunt (19)

~~~~

"Rook?"

"Yes, mon amour?"

"Is now a good time to chat?"

"Of course!"

Rook turned around from the deer he had brought home after his most recent Hunt, his smile wide despite the red that tinted his hands a dark color. He was quick to set his skinning tools to the side and wipe off his hands on a nearby rag. Often, the Drider would be unable to resist putting his hands on one of his beloved mates, so he would have to make sure his hands were clean before that happened.

"What do you need, mon Trickster?"

"Well, you know how Vil and I ran errands today?"

"Oui. Roi du Poison wanted to scope out that new skin-care line that launched and you were going to have a quick health check with the doctors. I trust they were polite to you?"

"Of course they were. You and I both know the fit Vil would throw if they weren't."

"Roi du Poison does have such a way with words."

Rook chuckled in a good-natured and equally good-humored way as he curled his legs slightly, kneeling down to smile at his beloved Human. It was a habit he picked up after seeing how far his dearest had to crane their neck back to look at him, given his height advantage.

"Well, the doctor said all the numbers were well within expected range and that the eggs are thriving."

"... Do my ears deceive me? Eggs? Could it be true?"

"It is true! I wondered if they were your eggs or Vil's, seeing as we are in such harmony most times, but based on size, number, and lack of calcium in the shells, they are more than likely Drider eggs!"

Rook was quick to sweep his beloved human off of their feet, cuddling them and holding them tightly against his chest as he peppered their face in soft kisses. Of course Rook was elated, he would be even if they were Vil's brood and not his own. There was little more the could think of that would make him any happier in that moment than to hold is beautiful mate close. Well, perhaps he would be happier if the beautiful Vil were present as well to share in the information, but now doubt the Harpy had taken a step back to allow Rook his space to celebrate.

"This is the best news you could have possibly given me! Were I skilled enough to entangle the stars in my silk that I could snatch them from the sky as payment for the joy you always bring into my life! Now we will have more joys to cherish! No doubt Roi du Poison is already ensuring everything is being set up appropriately for this next step we take on our journey as mates! Allons-y!"

"Go? Go where?"

"To rejoice with our beautiful mate Vil of course!"

~~~~

Octo-Trio

Azul Ashengrotto (20)

"Come in."

The successful and business savvy entrepreneur didn't even glance up at the knock on his office door, writing up yet another contract for someone seeking to create a join business venture in the empire that was Azul Ashengrotto's Lounge. He had long moved past the Monstro Lounge of his school-days and had become quite the tycoon in the food industry as The Human themselves had bolstered his culinary reach and now their combined efforts had taken Twisted Wonderland by storm.

"You got a minute, Azul?"

The Octopus looked up quickly at the familiar voice of his lover and business partner (Y/n), watching them approach with keen interest as he set his pen down and moved his papers to the side. It didn't matter how much was promised or of what, his beloved (Y/n) came first and was ranked above every past/current/potential client.

"I always have time for you, Angelfish."

"Still refuse to call me 'Shrimpy' like Jade and Floyd?"

"I don't know why they insist on calling you such a name as 'Shrimpy' as if to imply you are a bottom-feeder!"

"I think it has more to do with the symbiotic relationship of Cleaner Shrimp and Moray Eels instead of bottom-feeders, but I digress. I do hope you have divvied up our shares adequately these past few years."

"Yes..." Azul seemed tense and uncertain now, worried that perhaps his beloved Human planned to divorce him and the twins based on the question, "I have. Mostly equal for you and I, Jade and Floyd get a little bit less, but still fair. ... Are you unhappy?"

"What?"

"Because I can fix it! I promise! Just give me a few days and-"

"Azul!"

He fell silent, swallowing back tears as he tried and failed to keep himself from spiraling. Why else would his beloved ask about shares being split if they did not intend to split from him? He had to fix it, but his own tears were making it impossible to speak.

"I'm asking because we need to split them up further and I am happy to give more of my share so you don't have to redo the book-keeping."

"Why would we need to split them further? There is Me, You, Jade, and Floyd. The only reason we would need to split any of our earnings is if another mate entered the fold or-"

Azul's mind finally caught up to him and he was struck dumb. Surely not? The several doctors he kept on retainer would have let him know if there were any difference in your hormone levels. Right?

"Congratulations, Azul, we're going to really have to split up the shares if all of them make it to term and hatch. Hope you can handle having everything split that many ways."

Azul couldn't speak after the emotional rollercoaster he had been on in such a short period of time. He didn't need to though. His tentacles- which he could usually keep on a short leash- suddenly rushed forward, wrapping around his beloved Human and pulling them to him as he kissed their face and any exposed skin excitedly. They gave a sweet laugh under the affectionate barrage of kissing, holding his face affectionately even as the many tentacles gripped at their soft flesh.

"You..! I thought you-!"

"Scared you, didn't I? I figured that's why Floyd and Jade wanted me to ask you that way, since the clutch is entirely Octopus eggs and they're both mad they didn't get the chance given how 'eager' you were to keep going."

"I should have known..! Here I was terrified you were going to make me into Takoyaki for Floyd."

"Eh, it's still on the table~"

"(Y/N)-!"

~~~~

Floyd and Jade Leech (20 & 20)

"Ne, Jade, when is Shrimpy coming home?"

Floyd whined a long complaint, dragging out each syllable as he complained to his patient twin. Jade was busy looking over recent numbers in Azul's absence while he ran errands with their shared mate (Y/n). It was sure to be a long day and everyone knew Floyd would get bored quickly after the first few stops, but he would be bored alone. Still, even with Jade mostly entertaining Floyd's whining, the Eel Merman was bored.

"They are on their way back now, Azul told me a few minutes ago."

"Well why didn't you say so sooner, Jade?"

"It didn't seem like you were in the mood to listen when you ripped that pillow to shreds."

"Whatever. If Little Shrimpy is on their way back, things are gonna get interesting again. Always is! I'm gonna give them a good squeeze for going out and leaving us behind!"

"You chose to stay-"

"Don't care!"

The door to the room swung open and in came Azul, taking the coat off of the shoulders of their shared mate with great care. He glanced up quickly, glad to see Floyd and Jade were waiting by the door. At least then he wouldn't have to go find them.

"The both of you, we have news to share."

"That can wait for me to get a squeeze of my Shrimpy-"

"No, it cannot, Floyd."

"You're no fun, Azul."

The Octopus man was annoyed with the eel but Jade was eagerly awaiting whatever news it was that they had to share. Clearly it was something important if they simply could not wait to settle and let Floyd go about his usual routine.

"If you squeeze her too hard, you'll harm the eggs, Floyd."

"Egg- oh my, has our sweet (Y/n) taken to a clutch? Congratulations."

(Y/n) chuckled at this while Azul pouted and a certain surprise overtook the Eel.

"You don't mean to say..?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure how many are Floyd's, and how many are your eggs but the doctors said they looked fine and seem to be growing properly."

Jade couldn't even respond as Floyd quickly lifted their precious Human, spinning them around while also being careful to not squeeze too hard. Both eels were elated with the idea of having their own fry and Floyd was eager to see these cute combination young. Jade was curious how it would show the combination of genetics between himself and the Human.

"We're gonna have a bunch of Shrimp Eels!"

Floyd laughed as Jade smiled good-humoredly. He looked forward to sharing his ever increasing culinary expertise with the soft Human that he was fortunate enough to share with his twin and comrade.

"Careful, Floyd, you can see for yourself when they hatch. It certainly seems our lovely family is growing."

[g4rvez-r3id]

Naughty Boy

Post Prison! Spencer Reid x Unit Chief! Fem Reader

Synopsis: You and Spencer are trying to have a little fun in secret until Emily walks in… Spencer decides to make it a little more interesting underneath your desk.

Category: Smut

Warnings: established relationship, power dynamics, reader and spencer keep their relationship private so it’s a bit of forbidden love trope, kissing, smut warnings: lowkey sub!spencer, and also lowkey perv!spencer, spencer has a boner, straddling, stroking, cunnilingus, getting caught, exhibitionist kink? fingering, cumming in pants, use of ‘sweet boy’, ‘good boy’ and ‘naughty boy’, spencer lowkey pathetic- idk that should cover it

Author’s Note: hey lovelies! lowkey this one kinda sucked but i wanted to write a smut oneshot 🤭 got this idea watching a sitcom lmao anyways post prison sub spencer supremacy 🛐 debating on writing a part two to this one where reader punishes spencer hehehe let me know! please enjoy this one!! <3

A lot of changes happened since you’d become unit chief of the BAU. It wasn’t your intention of becoming unit chief but Emily Prentiss believed otherwise. She passed down the tassel to you since you’d had so much experience on this team for years. And she also knew Hotch would’ve wanted it, too.

After Barnes tried to take the BAU down, Emily was given back her job and hiring authority. Feeling as if you’d earned the spot, she promoted you. Of course, you were a little anxious taking charge at first but Emily assured she’d stay every step of the way and even offered to take over when you felt the power to be a bit too much.

You and Spencer’s relationship had become more balanced since he got back from prison and you felt the need to keep your relationship under wraps for as long as possible. Nobody knew you two were together, you both were very careful when it came to your relationship. You’d only been dating for a year and a half since he got back from prison where he’d finally confessed his undying love for you and that he’d show you just how much he loved you when he got out.

You’d both been pining after each other for years before the fact. And since then every moment you’d shared together has been wonderful, despite keeping it hidden from your colleagues. It was for the better, especially now that you were a higher power. If it wasn’t strictly forbidden before, it definitely was now that you were unit chief.

You were lucky that you’d chosen someone that was usually good at keeping secrets. You both never arrived to work together, you both left work at separate times and only ever spoke in a professional manner to one another. Of course, nothing too far as to not speaking to each other entirely. You were surprised that no one had suspected a thing for the year and a half you’d been together.

Today, you were in your office, filing everyone’s paperwork and signing off on them one by one. You’d just finished JJ’s when there was a knock on your door. “Come in.” You spoke and behind the door had been your loving and doting boyfriend.

“This a bad time?” Spencer asked as he waited for your okay to come in. “No, no, not at all. Come in.” You smile and turn towards your already closed blinds. If you hadn’t already closed them, it definitely would’ve looked suspicious if you closed them now.

As soon as he shut your door, you stood up from your seat with a sly smirk and walk over to him. “So, what can I do you for?” You ask. “Oh, nothing, I just—” Spencer rests his hands on your hips. “I just missed you.”

You smile as you hold him close. It’d been a minute since you had a moment together. Cases were often disrupting already what little time you two had together.

“I missed you too, my love.” You say, looking into his eyes with a loving smile. “Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight? I’m working on the paperwork now so I won’t have to stay here too late tonight.” You suggest and he smile right back at you. “I’d like that. We could use a date night.”

You pull him closer to kiss you on your lips and as you pull him flush against your body, you feel it. It’s definitely unmistakable that he’s hard in his pants.

“Uh, baby?” You ask, pushing him a bit. “Yeah?” He asks as he leans his head down towards his collarbone. “Are you… hard just from a few kisses?” This wasn’t the first time he’d gotten an erection just from a few simple kisses from you. He pretty much gets turned on by anything you do. And you secretly love it.

“I can’t help it, Spencer admits into your neck. “You’re gorgeous.”

You blush at his words and smile, “Aw, thank you, my love.” His mouth stays on your neck, sucking on your pulse point. You pull him towards your chair and push him into it, getting on top of him and straddling him with a smirk etched on your face as you lean down and kiss him on his lips.

He tries to speak into the kiss, pushing you away for a brief moment. “Wait, wait, wait.” He says and you look down at him, your index finger tapping on his plump pink lips, staring down at them. You had a bit of an oral fixation when it came to Spencer Reid. Whether it was for yourself or for him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask. “I just don’t want us to get caught, that’s all.” Spencer stated and you smile, “I know, sweet boy. But you let me worry about that, okay? Right now, I just want to take care of my boy.”

You run your hand towards the front of his slacks and palm his hard cock through his pants. He moans a little too loud and you are quick to clasp your free hand over his mouth. “If we want to this to work, you’re gonna need to be a good boy and be quiet, okay?” He nods vehemently into your palm.

You stroke him a few more times through his pants and you check and see that your sweet boy’s eyes are rolling to the back of his head. You wonder how long you can keep him on the edge, how long you can make this until he’s shouting that he can’t take it anymore, how much he’ll—

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You and Spencer look at each other in horror before you quickly usher him underneath your desk and fix yourself up to the best of your ability, sitting in your seat. Surely, you could’ve explained that Spencer was just in here for a moment but you acted quickly and couldn’t risk whoever was coming in to talk to you to see what you two were doing. You two didn’t exactly have the best poker faces in the world.

“Come in.” You say, attempting to sound as normal as you can. The door opens and in walks Emily. “Hey, Y/n. Care if we talk for a moment?”

“Of course, come right in.” Emily nods, shutting the door behind her and sitting in the chair in front of your desk.

As Emily begins to talk with you about your most recent case paperwork and begins on giving you pointers on how to handle it quickly, Spencer is crouched underneath your desk and he has a perfect view up your skirt.

You’re too distracted with Emily being in the room to feel how his hands — his gorgeous hands — glide up and down your calf and they begin to reach in a higher place and you flinch as his nimble fingers touch your underwear.

Your eyes widen as Emily furrows her brows at you and seems to notice you’ve flinched. “Are you alright?” She asks and you nod, “Oh, yeah, super. Just too fidgety today,” You hold up your mug. “Too much coffee.”

Emily continues her advice as you feel Spencer removing your underwear down your thighs. You don’t see how he stuffs them in his pocket. He bunches your skirt to the best of his ability and you look down just for a brief moment to see that he’s become in a trance as he gawks at your wet pussy.

You’re so lucky that your desk is too high up for Emily to see what you two are doing. This is so wrong. You should definitely try and stop him but the fact that he could be caught underneath your desk — it just turns you on even more. Who knew you were such an exhibitionist?

“Another thing that I recommend that you do is—” You hardly listen to Emily as you try your best to give your undivided attention to her but it’s really difficult when the man you love is underneath your table, lapping at your pussy with his useful tongue.

You feel everything as he begins to suck on your clit and sticks his fingers into your hole and you try your best to keep a straight face. You bite your lip and try and keep yourself as hunched over as you can to not draw suspicion.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Emily asks, once more. “Uh, yeah,” Your cheeks redden. “I’m… just not feeling very…” You feel as he rolls his tongue in a figure-eight on your bundle of nerves. “Well at the… the moment.”

“If you need to go home, I can take over the rest of the day.” Emily offers and you think about it. You definitely need the time to punish your sweet boy for being needy and impatient, so maybe going home would be a good idea.

“Uh, that’s probably a good idea.” You say. “Why don’t you let the rest of the team know?” Emily nods and leaves the room and you wait for the door to shut to finally gasp and whimper.

As Emily exits the room, she walks away from the door and shudders. Yeah, she knew what the hell was happening. The team pretty much knew you two were together already. You guys didn’t have the best poker faces in the world.

“Oh, you naughty boy.” You back your seat up a bit as you run your hands through his hair. He takes his mouth off of you for a second to breathe. “I like seeing you in an authoritative position. It’s sexy.” With that, he dives back in, running his tongue through your folds again.

You take your hand through his locks, pushing him impossibly deeper into your pussy. “Oh, my God!” You exclaim softly, eyes rolling back as he finishes you off. “Come on, cum for me. Please. Please. Baby, please.” He pleads in your pussy, moaning and sending vibrations through your body as he sticks his fingers back inside.

You bite your lip to contain your moans in your office and you feel yourself gush over his face and look at him, his eyes blown with lust and love. “Did I do good?” Spencer asks, wiping his mouth of your essence and you smirk.

“You did.” You admit. “Now, that Emily’s gone, maybe I should finish what we started.” Spencer looks down and shakes his head, “No, I, uh, actually don’t need help with that anymore.”

You furrow your brows, look down and sure enough, Spencer’s slacks are a shade darker near his crotch. You should’ve expected this, he’d cum at the slightest touch.

“Somebody definitely wants to get punished tonight.” You tease, dragging a finger to his chin and he holds his arms up in surrender. “Hey, sorry I wanted to look good for my boss.”

You shake your head with a chuckle. He can be so impossible sometimes.

So, you tell him to exit the office as discreetly as he can with his blazer over his crotch to hide the evidence and to call in for the rest of the day, making an excuse that there’s a bug going around so you can edge him for hours on end when he gets to your apartment.

[halogenwarrior]

I can contribute by showing this post here https://www.tumblr.com/halogenwarrior/756391562104160256/i-posted-this-as-a-reply-to-someone-elses-post?source=share where I counter the claim that Cassie is too favored by the narrative because she is always right even if her idea is stupid. TLDR the narrative can't show she is wrong by having the others listen to her and her fail because they are always on the knife's edge of success such that while Cassie succeeding would have a big positive effect, her idea failing would mean everyone dies/gets infested and that would end the story so they can't do that. Instead the narrative shows Cassie isn't always right and sometimes the more ruthless option is correct by having the others not listen to Cassie and have things work out/it be clear if they hadn't done that they would have been doomed. One example of that is actually the part with the Yeerk pool in #52 that you mentioned, where Cassie doesn't want to do something on moral grounds, they do it anyway, and it's clear they would have just lost the war there if they didn't.

Regarding her not respecting the others' sacrifices, I feel she deeply does internally but her moments of disparaging the others or leaving temporarily sometimes makes (mostly Rachel) think otherwise, and she didn't quite fully understand Rachel or her motivations in a way that put psychological pressure on her, but most or all of the other Animorphs were the same way with that (and there are plenty of other dynamics like that, everyone else except Cassie uses Jake as their tool to do the hard decisions without giving as much sympathy as they normally would if they aren't so desperate, notably Marco despite starting from such a position of friendship, everyone subtly Tobias as a pity case in ways that hurt him and Tobias' insecurity leads to him seeing this as worse than it is though he's not wrong the dynamic exists, Marco feels he has to hide his vulnerability to avoid being in the same position as Jake/Rachel/Tobias in this respect...) I don't hate Cassie for that I actually think that tension makes her more interesting! But it's hard to have an intelligent conversation when people are simultaneously criticizing the character for Doylist things (too favored by the narrative) and Watsonian (does things they morally disagree with) and you want to refute both. She's actually my favorite Animorph (with some tough competition!)

So I'm putting together an In Defence of Cassie PowerPoint for a PowerPoint night with friends. Do you have any arguments for or against her? I trust your opinion and am curious.

Let's see.

"She's too powerful, too unique, too far-seeing, and not good enough for Jake! What a Mary Sue!"

Counterpoint: May I introduce you to the reigning champion fan favorite, Sad White Boy Tobias?

Only nothlit ever to regain the ability to morph

Only known human-andalite hybrid ever to exist

Regarded as savior by entire hork-bajir species

Entire existence is a time paradox the war hinges upon

Pulls the canonically "most beautiful girl in our grade", who turns down 6 or 7 other offers in favor of Bird Boy

Correctly predicted planetary ecology 65 million years in advance

Believed to be immune to 2-hour limit

In conclusion: y'all wouldn't be crying "Mary Sue" if Cassie was a sad white boy, and I can prove it.

"She's too weak and hand-wringing, and she never helps the war effort!"

Counterpoint: First of all, the fact that the same people say this in the same breath as "she's too powerful" is... telling. Secondly:

She saved the entire team's lives in #24, in #29, in #44, and in MM1, among others.

Specifically calling out #44 — that ending shows she is willing and able to be ruthless when her friends are in need. She doesn't like slaughtering human-controllers, but if the alternative is everyone she loves dying, then she'll fucking well do it.

Much like Jake (see: Sad White Boy), she's more willing to risk herself than her friends, hence the end of MM1

Her medical knowledge saves Marco from rabies, Ax from brain!appendicitis, and Tobias from bird flu.

Her survivalist knowledge saves everyone in #25 (the Arctic), MM2 (Cretaceous Era), #11 (rainforest), and #14 (desert).

In conclusion: Cassie's only idealistic-looking by the standards of this extremely morally gray team.

"She's so unfair to Jake!"

Counterpoint: Jake? The Jake who refused to speak with her for weeks? Jake who proposes marriage while they're still broken up? Jake who announces he'll never trust Cassie again because she [checks notes] saved his brother's life? That Jake?

Also:

She gives him tons of emotional support in #16, #21, #47, and other times he's feeling low.

They have a healthy argument where they air differences and come to an understanding in #9.

Did I mention he doesn't just dump her but ghosts her in the middle of the war's endgame?

They're teenagers. Their relationship isn't perfect, but it is built on open communication and mutual respect which is more than Rachel and Tobias can say

She's fighting a war, and PTSD for that matter. No, she doesn't have infinite emotional bandwidth.

In conclusion: Their relationship is fine, their breakup is mutual, and her behavior only looks bad if, once again, you're holding Cassie to a different standard than you are Jake.

"She shouldn't have trusted Aftran!"

Counterpoint: friendly reminder that the alternative was killing a 6-year-old for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If that's what you think Cassie should've done, that tells us more about you than about her.

"She spends too much time moralizing!"

Counterpoint: this is a book series about war, not a friggin' video game. If you want moral pornography, go play Call of Duty. If you want sci fi realism, then you're going to have to accept that a majority of humans prefer not to kill their fellow humans if at all possible.

"She's a ripoff of [insert character here]!"

Counterpoint: literally every single one of these says more about the commenter than about the source work. "Every dystopia is set in the U.S." is the kind of thing only people who only read books by American authors would think. "All epic fantasy is Eurocentric" => tell me you only read books by white people without telling me. I'm glad you think Cassie is too similar to Willow Rosenberg, but there are at least 6 other stories in the known world, and I hear some of them even feature sweet/dorky/caring characters who are secretly ultra-powerful.

In conclusion: You don't have to like Cassie as a (fictional) person, but 85% of criticisms directed at her are bad-faith attacks on one of the 1990s' only fat Black female gnc ultra-powerful superheroes.

[shadamypositivity]

Here are my thoughts on this (warning for long post and my opinions)

Amy was made to be Sonic's female protagonist in the way that Mickey has Minnie, Mario has Peach- but Sonic subverts this expectation because of the nature of his character. Too cool, too fast, too wild to be "tied down" by romance, a hero on a breakneck paced hero's journey- this was also reflective of the culture at the time, so not just some throwaway decision. Reversing this dynamic doesn't actually mean Amy's character will change much, because Amy's definitive character has not been "Sonic's girlfriend" for a long, long time. She's a fangirl, she's obsessive, she's temperamental, she's kind, she's compassionate, she's honest, she's tough, she's optimistic, none of that would or SHOULD change in the case of "Reverse Sonamy". If Sonic is the one swooning and chasing Amy Rose then it's him who has to give up some of his definitive characteristics.

I'm not adverse to reverse sonamy because I don't think Sonic likes Amy -- if I can digress, I actually do think Sonic does have feelings for Amy, but I think Sonic has feelings for a lot of characters, but would never pursue romance for all the reasons I stated with Amy -- I'm adverse because I'm scared for what that means for Amy's character in the movie.

I don't want them to 'tame' Amy or Corporate Girlbossify her. I don't want her rolling her eyes at Sonic's attention or being the Only Smart One, or the straight man in a group of boys. I want Amy to be silly and tough and temperamental and sweet. Like the video's op stated, when people say they want reverse Sonamy I fear what they actually mean is that they want Amy to be toned down.

I saw a tweet not too long ago that slightly relates to this - that hypersexual women are one of the most oppressed people - I'm not classifying Amy has hypersexual BUT she is hyperromantic haha and I feel like relates to the gist of that theory. Is it really a crime that Amy does prioritize romance and love over heroism and adventure at times? Is it actually so terrible that she does have a crush on Sonic and follows him because of how much she admires him? As a girl, I related so much to Amy, not because I specifically crushed on Sonic (I was always a Shadow girl haha) but because I felt a lot how she acted. I was repressed myself, but admired Amy for how open and honest she was about her feelings and how confident she was when it came to Sonic returning her feelings. But she was also super tough and caring, but wore pink and loved girly things, but she also got angry and carried a huge weapon, but she also cooked and baked -- as a little girl who loved video games and action figures and super heros (mind you, this was well in the early 2000s when binary toys and interests were still very much a thing, I was ridiculed and denied in a lot of spaces) but also loved fairies and makeup and pink, Amy was the first girl character that wasn't either just cute and sweet (i.e Peach (who i adore DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND)) or tough and no nonsense but felt like how I felt. Amy had so many different layers to her character, I loved that she was girly and silly and in love but also super tough and strong and didn't seem to have to sacrifice one side for the other.

I ended up waxing poetic about Amy Rose for more than I meant haha, but I wanted to put my feelings out there. Irregardless of what reverse Sonamy means to people, or what anyone ships, I just want them to be true to Amy's character. I don't want them compromising who she's always been just because people find her annoying. JUSTICE FOR ANNOYING GIRLS!!!

[artbyblastweave]

These images from J. Michael Straczynski's Rising Stars gestures in the same direction I was gesturing with that Aquaman post- there's a really interesting archetype in superpower fiction consisting of characters who "Step Outside" in the way described here. Superhumans who remove themselves from society- not in a "kneel before me" way, but simply out of recognizing that participating in society in a conventional manner offers them significantly less than it does an average person (though not nothing- insert that MP100 monologue about "can you make a soda can.") Libertarians who fuck off to the moon and carve a Gadsen snake visible from earth, that kind of guy.

Invincible featured the title character gradually sliding into something adjacent to this as he realized that he was just sort of going through the motions by attending college and so on, when his girlfriend can wish a house into existence and the Cecil throws money at him to do stuff he'd do for free. The entire main cast of The Power Fantasy is doing something like this- you're most likely in no danger if you see one of the Superpowers walking down the street but most of them probably haven't paid for a meal in years (unless they insist on paying, which wraps back around to having the same dynamic as not paying.) Superman yo-yos on the topic of how accountable he makes himself to human governments, but I strongly doubt he got a permit for that fuckoff-huge fortress in the arctic. And so on. Obviously not all superhumans can get away with this- Spider-Man is held back from becoming a full-time bank robber by way more than just his conscience. But whether they could get away with this is a great characterization question to ask of any superhuman, and it's a door you can't really close once it's open- any decision they do make from that point forward will be implicitly contrasted against their everpresent option to just Hit Da Bricks.

[waynes-multiverse]

Aww, glad you enjoyed the first part of this! I tried to capture him as best as I could. I definitely had too much fun with all the twists 😂🤍

(A hot tub in the back, huh? Wayne, stop giving me ideas for ESC one-shots. 🥵🫠)

Yesssss, girl! Please write that!!! 🥵🔥🫠

Ooh yep! You really picked up on aspects of Russell's personality that I felt inherently when I was watching (studying) him, but hadn't consciously put into words. 👌🏽

He's for sure a little enigma 😏 (and a little shit lol) I found it interesting when I read the books that he was described as reclusive, and even though he comes off as charming and quirky in the show, I still get the feeling he's hiding the biggest stuff underneath the surface... I really wanted to showcase that his behavior and words don't always match his feelings and thoughts 👀

It's also so interesting (and crazy) how little Russ and Colter know about each other now as men. There's got to be shades of who they were when they were younger, but it's bittersweet in a sense. And now they're both trying to suss each other out like lone wolves that are kinda sorta friends. 😂

Yesss!!! That's always something I wanted the show to address, so I had to weave it in there! 😂 And considering they grew up pretty isolated and only had each other, it made sense to me they would've had a pretty close relationship as children (kinda like Sam and Dean if they'd ever been ripped apart for 20+ years 🥲)

But naturally, they wouldn't trust one another fully after all this time. I had a lot of fun writing their suspicion mixed in with brotherly banter 🤓

Okay, this whole thing with the reader is fascinating. Because why does he have to go through all this trouble to find her if they've been a thing for 10...12...14...20-something years?! (Love how the number in Russell's "memory" just kept getting longer. 🤣🤣)

Russell giving vague estimates of numbers actually became a running gag lol I used it first in the prequel before sprinkling it in here too 😂😂

Not the "we were on a break" gif 🤣🤣 (But the topic of how broken up they really were comes up in the next part lmao)

I'm full of questions, but I know you have a brilliant master plan for all of this. I've noticed this about the most recent stories you've created, but you're so very good at writing these law enforcement/military men paired with heroines that share their world, almost the "same foxhole" type of deal. Except for that his heroine partners usually outrank him. 😏

Haha thanks!! I honestly think I get hung up too much on details and then it escalates into a monstrosity 😂

And you already now I love all things SVU, crime etc. A year ago, I then got super into spy/CIA novels and media (Homeland, The Americans etc.), so I've been dreaming to write something like this for ages and jumped on the chance with Russell's background 🤓

Lol yes they always outrank him, don't they? I might go with the "tough love" approach a little too much, but I always feel like the Beaus, Deans, Soldier Boys, and Russells of this world need that 😂🫶

Also something about a little submission in a strong guy is a turn-on... 🫠

I tend to go the opposite route, partly because I'm interested in the dynamic between these kinds of men and a "civilian," but also because I don't think I'd be able to do the "same foxhole" trope justice. So that's something I really admire about you as a writer. 💜

Oh, I know! It's actually why I love your stories so much because you go the opposite route of me and I get a different experience. I usually struggle more with the "civilian" characters 😂 For fluffier fics, I go more civilian as well, but I clearly had an agenda for this one lmao

The push and pull banter between Colter and Russ in this chapter was also so fun to read lol. I could literally quote every moment because it was all so well-written and priceless. And it just kept building up the mystery of the reader and why Russell is doing all of this, right up until that awesome cliffhanger!!

Aww, thanks! That means a lot 🥰 I had so much fun writing those two. At some points, they even gave me Sam & Dean vibes 🥲❤️

Thanks so much for that sweet comment, Alex!!! 🤍

Btw, I'm so excited to read the last parts of ATW and the ESC one shots!! I so wanted to read them before the new year, thinking a week-long stay with baby's grandparents would get me some Mommy time, but... family. My husband actually sent me this after we left and I still feel it deeply 😂👇

The Exit Strategy – Part 1

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there's one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, mystery, a tinge of angst, humor & brotherly banter, one tiny surprise 🤓

Word Count: 5.8k

A/N: Happy holidays, guys! Enjoy 🎄❤️

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List

Part 1: This Is Not a Pipe

The heavy truck door slammed shut behind him as Russell slid into the passenger seat with an exhaustive sigh. Colter’s big pickup was parked right next to his beautiful Chevelle in that same old motel parking lot in Virginia.

Russell hadn’t moved – yet. Well, sort of. He’d been away on assignment in some frosty region for a couple of weeks. He wasn’t allowed to say where exactly he’d been, and he knew better than to put it into writing, so let’s just agree he was at the North Pole looking for Santa Claus.

He could’ve ended up anywhere he wanted once he touched ground in the States again, but a very appreciated phone call from a former colleague made the decision for him. Besides, Russell knew this particular motel well. The coffee was more than decent and got the job done, the owner and employees were nice, comforting, and, most of all, trustworthy, and there were always fresh towels.

“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,” Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.

Oh, and they had a hot tub in the back…

“Thanks for coming, man,” Russell extended his greeting without glancing at his younger brother once. He could feel Colter’s scrutinizing eyes on him, though, drilling for answers. Granted, his request had been rather unusual, so Russell understood where his younger brother’s ever-frozen furrowed brow stemmed from.

Providing answers didn’t come easy for the older Shaw, however. In fact, it had always been sort of a problem for him – even in the past. Especially in the past. Russell never lied, but he did omit things. Important things. On purpose.

“Yeah, uh, sure,” Colter replied with a polite smile as he started the car and rolled out of the lot.

Ah, yes, politeness…

That was what they were at, although it was progressively improving. It was only the third time the brothers were seeing each other since they had reconnected. And while the last two encounters had given the Shaws some well-needed time to talk things out and build trust, Colter was still naturally wary of his estranged sibling. As was Russell.

“So, what’s this about? You were pretty vague on the phone. You in trouble?”

That finally caught Russell’s full attention. He quickly shook his head, causing his hair to fall into his face. “What? No! No… No trouble,” he swiftly assuaged his brother with a dismissive hand gesture and a lighthearted chuckle. “Just need your help tracking down an old friend of mine, is all.”

Colter quirked an eyebrow at that. “Another Army buddy of yours?”

“Uh, something like that, yeah,” Russell replied rather mysteriously and didn’t even try to conceal the fact that he was hiding something more behind his ambiguous answer. But Colter only intensified his stare at him and wouldn’t let go that easily. Russell knew that. After all, they were related.

Persistence was a Shaw family trait. Another survival skill, if you will.

But this time, Russell wasn’t hiding a big government secret (or maybe he was). No lives depended on this particular mission (or so he thought). He wasn’t protecting a client, a company, or even his dubious employer (but someone else). He wasn’t choked by an NDA or about to save someone in grave danger (as far as he knew).

No, if anything, it was the fact that Russell didn’t know how much he could or should share with his brother. They were related, yes. But, technically, they hadn’t seen each other in decades, so they weren’t just considered merely estranged but strangers. Russell had always been aware of that fact, and Colter was beginning to catch on.

Especially during this mission.

See, once upon a time, the two hadn’t been just brothers. After moving to the cabin, societal contacts became scarce for the siblings. All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.

How much did they really know about each other now, though? How much of the old was still there?

“So, who are we looking for? What’s the guy’s name?” Colter asked, suddenly eager as he jumped into gear. He had always been restless, even as a kid, which fondly reminded Russell of their childhood.

But how much was he still the Russell that Colter once knew?

Well, Russell, on the other hand, remained calm and ruffled a casual hand through his beard. “Well, she’s, uh–”

Eyebrow cocked, Colter snapped his head to the passenger seat where his brother started to squirm. “Oh… Oh, so it’s a she,” he emphasized with a small grin. “Now I think I get it.”

There it is. I knew it, Russell thought with an internal sigh. In order for this mission to work, he knew he had to reveal some things. Private things. Things about himself and his life. Going in, Russell knew he couldn’t ask Colter for help without giving him something.

Their father had loved tests (and so did you – but that’s another story…). Russell always thought it had been the professor in him. So, Russell saw this as a test as well.

Could he trust Colter? And more pressingly, considering some long held accusations of murder, did Colter trust him?

A clear of Russell’s throat cut right through Colter’s chuckle. And then, the eldest tried his best to give no reaction at all. “Yes, she’s a… woman, but hold your horses. It’s not what you think, okay?” Colter lifted his eyebrow once more, causing Russell to heave another exhaustive sigh. “Fine, alright? It’s exactly what you think.”

Well, close enough, Russell thought. He knew Colter couldn’t even possibly imagine the reality in his wildest dreams.

Usually, Russell was an expert in avoiding uncomfortable questions. He was a pro at ditching answers and keeping secrets, even under torture and duress. However, there was just something entirely unique about dodging questions posed by little brothers.

And Russell saw it as a perfect bonding opportunity. He wanted to fill the chasm between them that their father’s death had caused – once and for all. But he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t walking around on eggshells most of the time – something that reminded him of you again.

Learning from past mistakes, Russell wanted Colter to experience the fun side of him. The one that brewed his own beer, cared too much about his car, and had weird tastes in food. He chose to leave out the rest – the dark stuff and the very best stuff, too.

After all, Russell was good at omitting things.

Colter chuckled triumphantly. “Does this mean you’re finally giving up on Reenie?”

Amused, Russell let out a snort. “Ha! You wish… First things first, alright? Let’s just see how this thing pans out. It’s kind of a long shot. You know that exit plan I told you about?”

“Yeah, you wanna open your own brewery, right?”

“Yeah, well, let’s just say in an ideal world this, uh, woman would be part of that exit,” Russell said and sounded purposely casual as if he didn’t care the mission was successful or not in the end, omitting yet another thing – he did care.

He cared a fucking lot.

“Really? Okay.” Colter scratched his jaw and gave his words some thought. Then he offered a small, yet kind, smile. Honestly, Russell didn’t know what he had expected. “But, you know, if you want me to find the future Mrs. Shaw, I’m gonna need more information to go on. A name, last address, or a-, uh, a picture, maybe?”

“Well, name’s not gonna help you much in this case.” Your first name might’ve been shareable intel, but your last name was of the highest classification. “Her last address that I know of was in Berlin. And while I do have one photo of her, it’s not meant for your eyes, brother,” Russell said with a firmly territorial look that still carried a mischievous twinkle, revealing the exact nature of the photograph to be indeed inappropriate.

Russell had one naughty photo, yes. But he had a whole giant box of others, too.

Colter’s eyebrows met above his nose as he licked his lips. Customarily, people gave him more details when they needed him to find someone. But then again, those people usually weren’t his brother. “Do you know anything about this woman? How long have you two dated?”

“Uhm… not that long,” Russell supplied with a clear of his throat before mumbling the rest of his answer, hoping his beard would swallow most of his words. “Ten years. Give or take…”

What is time anyway if nothing but a concept, right?

Colter blinked at him and almost steered the vehicle off-road before gripping the wheel a little tighter. “I’m sorry… Did you just say ten years?”

“Well, might be more like twelve,” he admitted finally. “Well, anyways, saw her last three years ago.”

“Wow, okay, uhm…” Colter became quiet for a moment, speechless probably, the tiny bits of information running on a loop through his mind. He figured his brother still had lived a life while they hadn’t been speaking. Of course he had. He just never thought about what that life might have entailed, aside from classified military operations. “So, you’ve dated a woman for twelve years…”

“Fourteen.”

“…haven’t seen her in three, and know basically nothing about her?”

Russell snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Ridiculous… Not even sure the name she did give me was her real one,” he said. It was a joke. He did know the name. He knew everything there was to know about you. So, maybe he did lie – sometimes. “But it’s the job, you know? It’s-, uh, it’s complicated.”

That part was true. Truer than he could ever possibly describe in words.

“I guess so…” Colter sighed, and Russell could hear the growing frustration. “So, she does what you do?”

Russell nodded. “In a way, yeah…” And Colter knew what that answer meant – he couldn’t say more. Again. “But don’t worry. We won’t have to turn over every stone on the face of this planet. I have a general idea of where she lives these days,” Russell provided. “One of my, uh, associates was working a job with her not that long ago. That’s how I found out she’s back in the States.”

Colter nodded in acceptance, knowing it was no use to try and prod more answers out of his brother. “Alright. Guess that’s something. So, where are we headed to?”

Russell then flashed him a grin with newfound determination sparkling in his green eyes. “Falls Church.”

The short drive had remained quiet for the most part. Colter refrained from asking more questions, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get straight answers out of his older brother in one form or the other. To accentuate Colter’s assumption of receiving non-answers, Russell mostly stared out the window with an intensity that had Colter believe his brother was counting trees when, in fact, Russell was pondering what he would, could, or should tell Colter.

Of course, Colter could also always ask more questions about their elusive father, but he didn’t do that either. Sure, one could say he was curious. More than that even.

What did Russell really know about his death? Their mother? Their family? Their work?

Another time, he kept telling himself throughout whenever he stole glances at his long-lost sibling. It was too soon. What was the point when Russell was so clearly reluctant to share anything at all?

Thus, there was nothing left but silence among peaceful woods and dense foliage till Colter pulled his truck over curbside in the idyllic town center of Falls Church.

Patiently, he waited a moment for Russell to open the floor and tell them their next logical steps. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, blew raspberries, clicked his tongue, and waited and waited and waited…

Nothing.

If Colter didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought someone carved a lifeless wax statue out of his brother and planted it on his passenger seat. Russell’s entire body stood motionless, only a set of green eyes flickered alive every once in a while and swayed out the windshield in search of something – or someone.

“So, what’s the plan here?” Colter asked with a clear of his throat. “You just wanna stay here and wait till she accidentally runs across the street?” It was meant as a joke, but to Colter’s dismay, Russell remained dead serious.

“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” the older Shaw confirmed and squinted his eyes at the busy street. Again, he had omitted a few things. In his mind, Colter didn’t need to know why Russell knew to be in front of the post office at exactly 15:03 (UTC–4) on a Tuesday.

Colter snorted a laugh. “What? C’mon, that can’t be the plan… Do you know how many people live in Falls Church? Or in the general Washington metropolitan area? We could be here for days. Weeks even…” The younger Shaw then switched fully into work mode, grabbing his phone from the Bluetooth car mount. “We’re never gonna find her like this. You got a phone number, maybe?” But before Russell could answer, Colter replied himself, shaking his head at his own silliness. “What am I even asking? Of course you don’t.”

Russell only smirked at that. Restless, he thought again.

“What about an old one? Maybe even that would help. I could call Bobby, Reenie… You got anything? Nothing?” But the younger Shaw’s questions apparently stumbled upon deaf ears. “Russell? Russ? Are you even listening to me? I’m trying to help you here. You could at least–”

“Found her!”

Russell almost jumped out of the car as his voice rang with sheer excitement. His heart was beating a mile a minute when his emerald eyes landed on the target. It felt like the very first time all over again.

Granted, the first meeting didn’t go so smoothly – there had definitely been some bumps (all on his part). Then again, he expected this next meeting to go a little roughly too (again, all on him).

“Wait, what?!”

Russell downright beamed. “Told you this would work.”

Colter only scoffed under his breath, the familiar competitiveness crawling back to the surface. “Yeah, well, beginner’s luck, okay?”

One boot had nearly touched asphalt before Russell remembered this wasn’t a situation that required him to storm in guns a-blazing – not even covert. Gentle hands, he reminded himself and swiftly closed the car door again, falling back into his seat. His lungs deflated.

Colter, on the other hand, was more confused than ever. “What-, uh, what are you doing?” Half-amused, his brow furrowed a bit more. “If you’ve found her, go talk to her. Where is she? Who is it?”

Curiosity could only be contained for so long. Colter wanted to know who had been a part of his brother’s life for almost as long as he had. He felt this was a key piece of information that would cause the first domino to fall. And then, revelation after revelation about Russell’s past would unravel.

Basically, Colter was waiting for the big epiphany. No pressure.

Russell vehemently shook his head. “Can’t. At least not like this. I need more intel first. You need to find out her name, and then we need your guy Bobby to get onto this.”

And yet again, guess what? Yes, Russell was, indeed, omitting things.

“Me? Why me?” Colter blinked at him. Surprise, surprise…

“‘Cause, obviously, she’d recognize me,” Russell pointed out. Again, omission. Like he had explained earlier, it was a real problem…

Colter exhaled a deep sigh. “Okay, and I’m guessing you’re still not gonna tell me why we’re doing all of this, right?”

“Nope.”

“Yup, thought so.” Still not convinced, Colter narrowed his eyes at his clearly paranoid brother. Maybe paranoia ran in the family. Not to point fingers – he recognized it in himself, too. “Do we really need to go through all that trouble? I mean, you’ve known that woman for, what, fourteen years, you said? Isn’t that a little extreme… even for you?”

Fifteen, Russell corrected in his mind. Close to sixteen. Nineteen max.

“Just trust me, okay? It’s necessary,” Russell reassured, knowing those words bore some weight. Hurriedly (he was getting antsy – this was a time-sensitive issue), he pointed a finger out the window to the sidewalk across the street. “You see that woman walking into the post office? That’s her.”

“What, the brunette in the flowery dress with the golden cross necklace? That’s her?”

“Yup.”

“Wow, okay…” Surprised didn’t come close to explain how Colter felt. He had expected… different. His brow almost met his hairline, but he still tried his best to conceal his wonder – to no avail.

Suspiciously, Russell leaned back in his seat and assessed his brother’s demeanor with a small glare. “What?”

“Nothing.” Colter threw his hands up in surrender, swallowing. “Just… She doesn’t really seem like your type.”

Amused, Russell stifled a chuckle. “And what exactly do you think is my type, little brother?”

“I don’t know…”

“What, you think some nice Christian girl is too good for me?” Russell deadpanned. Admittedly, he enjoyed bantering with his little brother. It reminded him of what he had missed out on for years. This was what he had wanted and longed for since he had left the family at eighteen.

Well, “left” wasn’t really the right word for it now, was it? It implied a voluntary act, and his leaving wasn’t so voluntary.

“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Colter countered, laughing. “It’s just, you know… dental hygienist in a motel hot tub springs to mind.”

“Okay, alright… You done?” Russell huffed, shaking his head. He refrained from showing his honest amusement. “You’re gonna follow her in or not?”

“Alright, I’ll go,” Colter finally agreed somewhat enthusiastically and jumped out of the car, swiftly following the woman inside. After all, he was curiouser and curiouser…

Russell kept his eyes trained on his younger brother until Colter vanished inside the post office. Now, it was out of his hands, only hoping his little brother wouldn’t blow it. Chances were high he would. Not that Russell didn’t have some faith.

He just had more faith in you.

Colter spotted you picking up mail from a PO box and decided on a plan of action in a matter of seconds. After all, he was quick thinking on his feet and the best at what he did. That’s why he was here. That’s why Russell had picked him for the job, right?

As you made your way back to the door, Colter eloquently intercepted you without disturbing the crowd. Another thing he had learned from his father.

He bumped straight into your shoulder and almost tackled you to the ground by the sheer force of his sneak attack. The mail in your hands scattered to the tiled floor like autumn leaves, and as Colter bent down to help you pick it up, he took a peek at your name on a postcard.

“Oh my God, would you look at that… I’m so sorry, Miss–,” the younger Shaw apologized clumsily, “Nora Laurier.” He uttered your name with a suave smile as he handed you back your pile of letters. The flirt in his eyes, however, he only added for Russell as revenge for Reenie. “Beautiful name.”

Your hands lingered on the letters between you for a moment as you took in his features and tall stature. It left you with a strange haunting of familiarity.

“Thank you,” you finally said with a hint of a smile as he let go of the mail. “Be more careful next time.”

“I will. Sorry again.” Colter chuckled with blushed cheeks and watched you leave. He waited till you had passed the row of windows before exiting himself.

He was a good actor, too.

Antsy, Russell almost bit his lip bloody as he stared the post office down till a migraine began to form. God, what he wouldn’t pay for some X-ray vision and super-hearing. He could be downright Superman with that – and the hero always got the girl.

His heart dithered anew with longing as you walked out – it took his breath away. You always did that, and you did it well. But then, you stopped short for a mere second, which wouldn’t have caused a civilian to raise a single brow. But Russell did.

“Shit…” he mumbled in the silence of the truck and lowered himself down to the dashboard. He watched you reach for your phone in your purse and call someone as you headed down the street.

Eventually, you stopped three houses east and finished your call in the shade of a tree next to a busy (and noisy) bus station. Russell caught your eyes drifting back to the doors of the post office, though, just as his little brother walked out and jogged towards the car.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Russell ducked even further down, hitting his head in several places. “What did that knucklehead do?”

The driver’s door opened as Colter casually slipped inside. “Got a name,” he announced victoriously. Part of his happiness emanated from gathering yet another puzzle piece of his mysterious brother – meeting you. “She goes by Nora Laurier now… And she seems nice. Way too nice for you, actually…” As he drifted off, his eyes searched for the elder one before finding him almost kissing the floor mat. “Russ, uh… What-, uh, what are you doing down there?”

“What the hell did you do?” Russell’s tone was both snappy and frustrated.

“Whoa, what d’you mean what did I do?” Colter waved off defensively. “I did what you told me to do!”

“She made you!”

“She did not make me,” Colter brushed off with a laugh, quite confident of his own skill set. They’d had the same teacher. He would know if you had suspected anything.

“Then why did she wait and look after you, huh?” Russell pointed out in annoyance.

Colter’s lips itched to break a smile. He couldn’t help it. It was the perfect opportunity to teach his flirt of a brother a well-needed lesson. “Well, maybe I caught her eye… piqued her interest, you know?”

Russell cocked a brow from below, his stare lethal. “Did you flirt with her?”

Colter hesitated for a moment. Mostly for dramatic effect. “I-, uh… You told me to get her name. ‘Sides, I told you Reenie was off limits.”

“Oh, so this is about revenge? Very mature.” Russell frowned. “She still there?”

“Where?” Colter stretched himself a bit as he looked out the windshield.

“Tree. Bus station.”

An amused smile formed on Colter’s lips as he spotted you. “Oh, yeah. I see her. I don’t think she suspects anything. She’s not even loo-… No, uh, wait… Yup.”

“What?” Russell’s brows drew together as he rose a little from his crouched position.

“Yeah, she’s definitely looking over here.”

“Well, stop looking down,” Russell hissed through gritted teeth. After a deep breath, he spoke in a calmer, more advising tone, “Pretend I’m not here.”

“Trying to, trust me… Should I wave at her? Smile?”

“Are you nuts?! Just look ahead. Pretend you’re getting a phone call.”

Colter did as he was told and held his phone to his ear. “She’s still looking,” he informed with a pressed smile, barely moving his mouth when he spoke.

“Okay, what’s she doing now?”

“There’s a-, uh, there’s a car coming and pulling over by the bus station. Dark gray Audi A6. Virginia Plates. Yankee-Papa-Charlie-5824,” Colter said as Russell hauled a pen from his pocket and began to jot down the plate numbers on his left palm.

“Copy that.”

He’d memorize them anyway, but one could never be too safe. He could get a concussion in the next hour or so (most likely because of you), and then what?

“Okay, she’s getting in,” Colter narrated. “Driver’s in his late-thirties. Male. Glasses. Medium height. Medium build… I think you could take him,” he added with a teasing grin.

“Shut up,” Russell retorted. “Are they gone now?”

“Pulling away from the curb and… Yep, they’re gone. Headed south down the road,” Colter affirmed.

“Alright.” Russell popped back into his seat with a sigh and some sore muscles. He had been sure he’d heard a few bones crack while he’d been cowering down there. He might be finally getting too old for these missions. But that was part of the reason why he was here in the first place – retirement was calling. And Russell wanted to fill the chair next to him on the porch.

“You good?” Colter checked and choked the small laugh that wanted to escape upon the ruffled sight of his older brother.

“Yeah, go ahead and follow them. Just keep a low profile,” Russell instructed. “On our way, you might wanna call your op analyst, too. See what he can find out.”

“Alright,” Colter agreed somewhat reluctantly but still tailed the sedan. “You sure this is a good idea?”

“What d’you mean?” Russell said mindlessly, keeping his eyes focused on the target vehicle.

“Us… stalking your ex-girlfriend?” Colter noted with a cocked brow. “And her potentially new boyfriend?”

Russell only laughed at that. “We’re good. Trust me.”

Admittedly, though, a small part of him wondered (and worried) if this was all real. Maybe Nora Laurier wasn’t your real name, but it might be your actual new one – one you’d adopted as a safety precaution after you’d left it all behind. Maybe you had finally done it and retired, found a perfectly normal guy, and settled down – just without him.

Or:

Maybe you were still in the game, after all.

Russell was hoping it was the latter. Otherwise, he could probably expect a hefty restraining order in his future, but he wasn’t about to tell Colter that. Not until he knew for sure.

The Audi parked in front of an organic grocery store a few blocks down. Colter chose a spot across the parking lot, keeping a reasonable distance with the perfect view. Russell watched as you and Unnamed Man #1 sauntered into the store, an arm slung tightly around your waist and a smile on your face.

While on the phone with Bobby, Colter could tell that the sight of you in another man’s arms stung. “Okay, uh, thanks, Bobby.”

“What’d he say?” Russell fired as soon as Colter had removed the phone even just an inch from his ear.

“Uh, well, there’s some bad news,” Colter revealed hesitantly and licked his lips, not knowing how he was supposed to break his brother’s heart. “Bobby ran the plate number through the DMV. It’s registered to an Aiden Laurier.”

“Laurier?” Undeniably, Russell’s heart flinched at the connection. “Maybe a brother. Cousin…”

Or a colleague, Russell’s mind stubbornly added.

Colter bit his lower lip hard before he spoke, “They’ve been married for two years. I’m sorry, Russ.”

A hand comfortingly patted Russell’s shoulder. A part of him wanted to scream heavenward, but something else inside was gnawing on him.

He clicked his tongue. “No… No.” Sure, one could argue that denial was always the first step of grief. “No. No way she married sweater-vest John Mulaney over there.”

“I’m pretty sure she did. Bobby sent me the marriage certificate,” Colter countered and showed him the screenshot on his phone.

Russell glanced at it for a short second, not even bothering to waste more time on fake news. He shook his head. He knew better.

“Nah. I’m not buying it. You need to go in there and tell me what you see.” He sealed his words with an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

Colter exhaled deeply. “Russ, I-, uh, I think you need to let this go, man. You’re starting to… Never mind.”

“No. Go ahead. Say it,” Russell prompted with some thunder in his voice. “I’m reminding you of Dad, don’t I?”

Colter only twitched his shoulders. “I mean, yeah. A little.”

Russell’s head bobbed in thought before he met his little brother’s eyes. “You really don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“The post office, the road crew over there, the-, the fake documents?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“C’mon… Just think about everything Dad taught us, huh?”

Was Colter really not getting it? Russell found that quite hard to believe. He had known his little brother to be as sharp as a whip. While Russell didn’t always have the nicest things to say about their father, he could admit the old man had prepared them well for life. Well, one life at least. This one.

The nomad life, the odd jobs that required them to have a particular set of skills like Liam Neeson.

Colter shook his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Russell.”

Russell let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. “Alright, if you don’t see it, you don’t see it.” A smirk twitched in the corners of his lips. “It’s your funeral, brother…”

With narrowed eyes, Colter pursed his lips. “Alright, just tell me one thing, okay?”

“You know I can’t tell you anything,” Russell reiterated and brushed his beard.

“I know. I know… It’s not that kinda question,” the younger Shaw reassured.

“Go ahead,” Russell relented and curiously looked at his brother.

Within a second, Russell could think of a million questions Colter might want to ask him, but this hadn’t been one of them:

“In the past three years, how many times have you thought about her? And I don’t just mean ‘crossed your mind’ every couple of months. I mean ‘seriously thought’ about her?”

“Hmm.” Russell pondered for a moment before replying, “Every damn day.”

It wasn’t a lie, no omission of anything, and Colter could tell. You were the first thought that popped into Russell’s still groggy mind when he woke up and the last one every night that fluttered across his weary eyelids. Obviously, he didn’t give Colter the soppy answer, though.

“Fine. I’ll go,” Colter softened his stance. “You owe me,” he added with a pointed finger before setting foot outside the car.

“I do owe you. Anything you want, brother,” Russell agreed with a broad grin. “How about we start with a full case of my homebrew, huh?”

Colter danced gracefully through the aisles, spying through canned goods and boxes of cereal. He watched you carefully select fruit with your husband, move through the dairy talking about “organic” and “locally sourced” till you landed on a few choices of toothpaste and finally strolled to the cash register.

Everything seemed boringly normal and ordinary. You chatted with the cashier. They handed you a coupon, which you slipped into your purse. Your husband paid with his credit card (which carried the same name matching the DMV records), and both of you left the store with two paper bags in your arms.

Once through the sliding glass doors, you stopped and turned to your husband. “Darn, honey, I think we forgot the milk.”

“You want me to grab it?”

“No, I’ll do it.”

“Okay, I’ll wait by the car and load the rest of the groceries.”

Now, Colter found that odd. He had watched you spent at least five minutes in the dairy aisle. How could you forget something as basic as milk?

As you hushed inside, your husband sauntered back to the car, and Colter followed you back in. You passed right by the dairy and, with a few looks that resembled a scan of your surroundings, you slipped past the door that led to the restrooms.

Waiting a beat, Colter went in after you. But you were long gone – just not to the restroom. An ‘Employee Only’ door that led to a dumpster alley outside was just falling shut.

Granted, Colter had a bad feeling about this. It was the same feeling he always got shortly before walking into a trap. In his defense, though, you were not a seven-foot-tall, 300-pound kind of guy. He wasn’t about to be ambushed by Shaquille O’Neal, which is probably why Colter didn’t find it necessary to pull his gun.

In hindsight, he should have.

The narrow alley was quiet and empty, except for some trash littering the ground around the dumpsters. It was closed-off, too, wedged between buildings with no view to the parking lot or nearby streets.

And then, something hit him. Or better yet: You hit him. With an elbow to the face and a stiff, flat palm to his throat, Colter stumbled forward before you gave him the final blow and knocked him off balance, tackling him to the ground.

Pressing his cheek into the rough and unforgiving surface of the asphalt, you jumped on him and restrained his arms tightly behind his back. While he squirmed to get out of your hold, he didn’t use as much brutal force as you expected he would.

“Shit,” he muttered below you, his voice muffled by the gravel. A light chuckle escaped him. “Okay, you got me.”

“Sounds about right,” you agreed with a smirk and tightened your grip on his arm.

Then, Colter heard a gun click above him. Hoping to see his brother, he looked up – only to find your husband with a weapon in hand as he stared down the barrel.

“Ah, I think you broke my nose,” the younger Shaw mumbled with a groan.

“Good. You’ve been following me. Why?” you prompted sternly. “Who are you? Who are you working for? Jafari? Mueller?”

“Listen, I-I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not who you think I am,” Colter argued with a strained voice. What the hell had Russell gotten him into? “This is just a big misunderstanding.”

“Uh-huh.” You could only roll your eyes at that. How many times had you heard that line before?

“Let’s hood him. Get him to the Market,” your partner suggested. “We’ll see if he talks then.”

“No, really,” Colter insisted, growing a bit more uneasy. He had no idea what the Market was, but it didn’t sound pleasant. “You know my brother.”

“Who’s your brother?” With your elbow, you put more pressure on his back.

“Ow, alright…” Colter groaned once more as the pain intensified. “Looks kinda like me. Think two decades younger. He was in the Army, so probably didn’t have long hair and a beard. Uh, kind… green eyes? No? Doesn’t ring a bell?”

Colter watched your brow furrow in his periphery as he squinted upwards. He could see the gears starting to turn in your head. You just needed one final push to put all the puzzle pieces together.

“If it helps, my name is Colter. Colter Sh–”

“Shaw,” you shot like a missile. Your jaw plummeted to the ground, your heart springing right out with it. Your grip on the man caught between your thighs loosened, hearing Colter’s sigh of relief before you heard his voice.

“Hiya, sweetheart.”

Your head darted up, the man beneath you long forgotten. You swallowed as your eyes landed on an all too familiar face – even when it was covered by a bunch of hair that had never been there before. The heart-crushing smile was still the same as if it had been ripped straight from an old photograph you had of him.

“Russell?!”

Part 2: This Is a Russell Mission

Quite the entrance! Writing Russell reminded me somewhat of Plastic Hearts Dean (minus the addiction problems unless you count lying) because of all the wild overthinking 😂

If you enjoyed this story, then I'll gladly keep working on its prequel. Was a bit nervous to post this since I filled in some family history gaps myself 😅 I also dove into the books a little and added some things that kinda fit their "show" personalities.

Please let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in a young soldier!Russell series 😉🤍

TAGS:

Forevers: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey

@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies

@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28

@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444

@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad

@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways

@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith

@nesnejwritings @samslvrgirl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @fromcaintodean @barewithme02

@thebiggerbear @star-yawnznn

@deansimpalababy

[eclipseberrycake]

Poly! MoonBerryCake x Reader Pt. 2

Y'all came outta NOWHERE- Hi <3

I love these guys sm so when people started asking for more I was like "...Twist my arm okay-". Like I did not need to be convinced don't y'all worry.

Anyway, here are my tags plus shoutout to that anon who sent me the request! I sure do do requests especially ones like that <3

OG Inspo: @huneybeen

Divider Credit: @sister-lucifer

And @unaecsmr .

And that one anon too!

I hope this lives up to expectations <3

Content Warning: Slight descriptions of violence. Puns.

☁ Happy holiday update guys <3 The first run I played all I talked about was how Twisted! Rudie's run looks like he's hitting the griddy.

☁ Anyway, what better way to celebrate than more MoonBerryCake?

☁ Now, you all don't really define you're relationship per say, after the ending of part one, which you can find -> Here!

☁ You all sort of fall into some sort of rhythm after the fact though.

☁ I didn't spend a lot of time on Sprout because I wasn't feeling well, so I feel like I owe it to him!

☁ Sprout can especially recognize the dynamics at play. As much as he loathes admitting it, being with you three losers (Affectionately) makes him happiest. He can't possibly pick one.

☁ So while you and Astro and Cosmo all stay up at night, worrying about budding feelings and crushing the hearts of the others and feeling your own eyes well up at the thought of gaining one, but losing the others, Sprout is SOUND asleep. He is drooling on his pillow. He is snoring loud enough Pebble hid under coal for protection (Across the complex).

☁ Because he knows one thing for certain. He's got two hands, one chest and a dream. He knows what he wants from life now. And he's going to get it, mark his words.

☁ He knows he's over and done with it, devoting himself to the three of you completely after that reunion from that failed run.

☁ You had been downed long enough you had finally argued your bed-ban be lifted while he himself had threatened a solo-style jail break into the elevators if they tried keeping him chained once more.

☁ He had to admit, the two of you made an incredibly stubborn team and if he had any interest in debate, he'd probably use you. As it stands, he decides to keep you around anyway because someone's gotta tell Brightney he's not healing her and it ain't gonna be him.

☁ The retrieval run was one he knew you had been dreading for awhile, all three of you actually, as this was by far one of the more dangerous Twisteds. That being said, stepping into the elevator made his entire being just shiver at the atmosphere surrounding them.

☁ He didn't like it. He needed to fix it. Especially his trio. Yeah, his. Fight him for it. He's already called dibs. You can't.

☁ Astro's eyes are locked onto your form as you stretch your legs, holding your ankle to your butt for a few seconds before switching. You're mindlessly listening to Goob. Sprout knows Goob rambles when he's nervous and he's rambling faster than Sprout can keep up. Cosmo himself is burrowed into Astro's shoulder, hiding his face in the fur neckline as if refusing to see what'll come of the run.

☁ Sprout doesn't blame him. His memories from being a twisted are blurry at best, but even he can remember Pebble's twisted form. The snarls that rang out as he achieved top speed. He was fast. Impossibly so. Faster than any one of them.

☁ But you were bound and determined to get them all back. Every. Single. One of them.

☁ The thought makes him bite at his lip as he huffs. He had chosen Teagan's trinket for the sole reason of having that heal ready to go no matter what. The one relief he had was that Cosmo wouldn't be so alone in this anymore. He knew Cosmo had a habit of spreading himself too thin, especially when it came to healing you or Astro, and the thought made his chest bristle.

☁ No more. He'd be there for the worst case scenarios. While he wasn't the fastest toon out there he still was fast. He was fast and could run. He had stamina. He'd be assed before extracting anything worth a damn, but he knew damn well how to distract well enough to buy you or Goob a few minutes.

☁ Nodding to himself, he placed a hand on your shoulder as the elevator stilled, ending the time they all had to prepare. "You got this, bud. We'll be cheering you on the entire way."

☁ You snorted at the nickname, taking a deep breath. "Bud? Like a flower bud I'm guessing? Where did that come from?"

☁ He smirked at the question, watching the large gears begin to slowly turn as the door slowly opened. "Well, when a mommy strawberry and a daddy strawberry love each other berry much-"

☁ He nearly cackled at Cosmo's affronted shout of his name while Astro boo'ed the pun. You gave a soft chuckle before shaking your head, shooting him a look. "Unbe-leaf-able." You scoffed good naturedly before taking off with Goob by your side.

☁ This time Sprout joined Astro's boos. It was only fun when he did it. Ask Fin.

☁ Don't ask him.

☁ Running off, it feels almost familiar the way he and Cosmo stick together, Astro splitting off to use Vee's trinket quickly to ease the pressure on you and Goob. He watched Cosmo's back and by the time that machine was finished, the other's were as well. Astro met back up with them halfway back to elevator, giving both him and Cosmo a once over before nodding them inside and waiting for you.

☁ And Goob, I guess.

☁ It's almost prideful, the way Sprout watches Astro's power light up the ground below him, fluttering around yours and Goob's feet as the three of you quickly make your way into the elevator with it slamming shut behind you.

☁ The thick tension is back and heavier than a bad pun can fix. So Sprout does what he does best really. He waits for his trio to be done browsing the shop (Like the heavens blessed the run, Dandy was there with the serum on a pillow and both a bandage and box of chocolates). Cosmo is just short of tapes needed for a band, only to light up as you pass him some you swiped while distracting.

☁ He's quick to wrap his arms around you, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek with a quick nuzzle, leaving you just dazed enough you're staggering as he swipes the heal. Astro is behind you with a small chuckle, ensuring you don't fall before handing over his own stack of tapes and taking the box of chocolates as Goob pays for the serum.

☁ Sprout has no idea where all these tapes are coming from and is almost a little pissed. If it was anyone else, he would've been. Except Goob. Though, Goob paid for the one thing everyone agreed upon buying so even then he's hard pressed to stay mad. Still. Everyone's heals are on thin ice until further notice.

☁ Except his three of course.

☁ By the time the three of you are done and Dandy is preparing to disappear, he's already rounding you into a group, checking every single one of you for so much as a scratch.

☁ When nothing comes back, he turns to rubbing at your already dirt stained cheek with his glove, clicking his tongue before licking the pad of it only to return it to scrub at the patch of dirt, despite your protests. Glisten's laughing in the back, along with Cosmo and Goob. Even Astro has a humored grin on his face, but oh-ho. Sprout isn't done.

☁ No, once he's satisfied, he reaches and grabs Cosmo before the swiss roll can run and repeats the process.

☁ Astro's only saving grace is the ding of the elevator. But Sprout vows vengeance. Oh, vow it he does.

☁ The next few floors flow smoothly, even if the tense atmosphere remains an ever present reminder of the responsibility on your and Goob's shoulders. You carry it with every move you make, especially cautious of the Twisteds you lead to ensure you're in top condition for the big dog.

☁ I didnt think I had this many puns in me omg

☁ By the time footsteps are echoing outside the door, Cosmo and Sprout both have enough med kits and bands to choke a horse, with everyone standing at full health. Astro himself had a bottle of pop for emergencies and a handful of smoke bombs so he could get in and out after giving you and Goob a boost and minimizing the risk. You and Goob both have quite a few things of chocolate and bottles of pop, speed candy in your palms as you both down it with more waiting.

☁ When the elevator opens, you gave them all a sad wave before taking off much faster than you normally do, quickly finding and distracting Pebble as Goob takes the other three in the opposite direction. Everyone knows the plan. They had gone over it several times in preparation for this moment.

☁ You were to be left alone to focus on distracting. Absolutely no exceptions save for the healers or Astro when the time arose. They would get in, get out and between you and Goob, one of you would pull Pebble's attention away long enough one of you could stick him.

☁ Sprout didn't like it personally, grabbing Astro and pulling him into his chest as he hid behind a box while you and Pebble passed, a rotten, no good feeling settling into the pit of his stomach.

☁ He waited until he couldn't hear either of you anymore before letting go of Astro, who gave him a thankful nod. Sprout returned it, giving a soft smile before both were looking over at the sound of a gasp.

☁ Cosmo was knelt on the ground, fingers stained black. Immediately assuming the worst, Sprout nearly screeched as he grabbed for the med-kit as Astro was grabbing Cosmo, searching for the source of the injury.

☁ "No, no, it's not me!" Cosmo shook his head, pushing away both Astro and the med-kit. "They've been hit." He continued, looking down the way you came from.

☁ Sprout and Astro's eyes followed the same direction, the former swallowing tightly. Nodding, Sprout took a step in that direction, fingers already heating up as his own power sang in his veins, only for the lights to flicker red as the last machine finished.

☁ "Get them at elevator." Astro's voice cut through, grabbing him through his blanket and tugging him in the needed direction. "We'll be there if something goes wrong."

☁ Looking back, that should've been a warning.

☁ The last few seconds of panic were always hectic. He knew this. But on a retrieval run? It was so much worse.

☁ They had all mad it back to the elevator, save for you and Goob. Goob was right on schedule, loosing the other twisteds somewhere they wouldn't bother you or anyone near elevator and skid to stop right beside where Astro and the healers were waiting, looking at the doorway they instructed you to come through. It came a clear shot for all of them to hit you should the need be, either by a heal or a shot of adrenaline.

☁ The feeling in Sprout's gut jumped and he understood why. As you appeared a feeling of uniform dread and panic split over the group. You're side was oozing ichor as you hit the doorway, absolute terror written across your features as you ducked a set of jaws that just barely missed you, sinking into the wood and crunching.

☁ That could've been you. The thought made Sprout shout as you took off towards them. You reached for your hip, tearing off the serum and throwing it at Goob, who caught it. You were out of pops and out of chocolate and the realization hit them within seconds.

☁ Goob's arms shot out just as Pebble lunged. None of them could've moved fast enough. They could only watch as Pebble's jaws bit into you side, making you scream out in both alarm and pain as tears sprung to your eyes. A chorus of shots came in a cacophony of noise.

☁ Sprout shot forward just as Pebble let out an ear piercing howl. His own arms scooped you against him as you sobbed, ichor staining his chest and scarf as he ran back to where Cosmo and Astro were waiting, equally as panicked as he felt.

☁ Goob grabbed Pebble, turning tail and just making it into the frantic elevator as it slammed shut.

☁ It was a blur from there. Cosmo's hands rushed for the med kits as Astro pumped your body with enough adrenaline and stamina to keep going. Sprout's own hands were a flurry as he used the mass of tapes he hoarded to trade their worth for life force. While normally he just infused it into the treats he kept on hand, this time he threaded it directly into the wound, even as you grew impressively colder.

☁ They needed to get back to med-bay and fast.

☁ Glisten got you all back, shouting for the others to clear the way as both you and Pebble were rushed into med-bay. It was a long night from there, all three watching and waiting for you to give some indication of being okay.

☁ Sprout never let the other two leave his sight for long after that and knew then and there this was it for him. He never wanted to feel this way again, but that contrasted so heavily with the simple fact that you weren't actually his. None of them were.

☁ But he wouldn't let that remain. That's right. Sprout gets you all together. Sucks to b you guys, he's never letting any of you live it down.

☁ After that night, he works damn near tirelessly to get the dense trio you all make to work with him rather than against each other.

☁ But it's hard. Uber hard. You're all just so...dumb. He says. With affection. None of you seemed to think yourselves capable of love! Like. What kind of dumbassery?

☁ Cosmo keeps thinking his advances are just friendly, Astro refuses to believe anything nice about him is true and you keep thinking it's another smart quip of his and he doesn't mean it.

☁ He'd kiss you all stupid for such thoughts but he fears that's not possible and he hasn't even gotten to kiss you yet.

☁ So, after a few weeks he does what he always does when stressed.

☁ He bakes.

☁ He just like me fr.

☁ He's angrily mixing a dough for those cookies the two of you ate some time ago, groaning all about everything that's wrong with his life currently as if the poor dough is at fault. "Hopeless in love they say. Oh, they're hopeless all right. And who paid the consequences? ME! I was making stupid puns for them. Puns. Me. OF ALL THINGS-"

☁ My brother in crust is going through it. He goes on and on about all he wants to do it cuddle and kiss and date the three of you. but do any of you make his life easy? No. Why would you. That would be too nice for dear old Sprout Seedly. Things can never just be black and white.

☁ "And another thing-" Sprout's shouting as he dumps the dough onto the floured counter, turning to the sink to drop the bowl into the waiting soapy water only for it to clatter on the ground as he's immediately clamping his jaw shut.

☁ "...You're supposed to be in bed." Is all he manages.

☁ You blink at him, all sleepy doe eyes and messy bed head before chuckling, holding a lazing Pebble in your arms. The rock had taken quite the liking to you and Sprout was man enough to admit that he was in fact jealous. "So are you."

☁ "I'm bakin'." He shoots back, turning back to the dough immediately and forgetting about the bowl as his cheeks light aflame.

☁ "At 3 AM?" You tease, stepping closer. He doesn't turn to look, but hears the sound of the bowl being dropped into the sink and Pebble being set down onto the ground. The pup whines, runs in a circle before trots away to lay in either his dog bed or burrow back into your bed. You're body presses against his back as your arms wrap around his waist, your bony chin laying on his back.

☁ "Yes at 3 AM. Someone ate all the cookies and didn't fill the jar." He spits, but there's not venom as he rolls out the dough. You're unbearably silent and he doesn't like it. How much did you hear previously? "You're supposed to beresting."

☁ You hum, but don't move. He almost asks what you're thinking if only so he doesn't have to overthink about it when you speak up again. "You sounded so...sure."

☁ Sprout furrows his brows. "Of?"

☁ "Us. The four of us." You mumble with a heavy breath. "Like-...Like that's all there is too it."

☁ "That is all there is too it. If we all wanna date each other, I don't see the problem." Sprout grunts, grabbing one of the cookie cutters he had set aside. It sinks into the dough under his weight just the way it should and he quickly picks up a rhythm.

☁ You're silent once more, but you don't move. He's done with nearly all the dough, rolling out the last bit for the final round of cookie cutting, when you finally move, lips tracing his spine. "Do you want that?"

☁ Sprout stops, blinks and looks down.

☁ "I think i wanted it since we've met and only now the rest of me finally caught up."

☁ That's where the other two find you later. You're in an apron with Sprout behind you, hands moving with yours as you ice a cookie. There are a few off to the side, obvious examples from where Sprout must've shown you how to decorate...Astro's face once more onto the cookie.

☁ Astro uses a star shard to pick one up, bringing it closer to him and Cosmo only to guffaw at the state of it. Cosmo snorts only to clap a hand over his mouth when you two look over. To their surprise, you and Sprout only grin. The icing is dropped as you run over, or as much as you can before all three are yelling at you to "Take it easy for Dandy's sake!"

☁ You grumble but do as told.

☁ "We made cookies." You explain, Sprout nodding behind you as if corroborate the story.

☁ "With my face?" Astro deadpans, making Cosmo snicker.

☁ "Some have Cosmo's." You explain, only to wince. "I did those ones though, so they aren't Sprout level."

☁ "I'm sure they're perfect." Cosmo cuts in, making you smile. It's one that says everything they need to know. They're probably awful, but that's what'll make them so good.

☁ "They're an offering." Sprout pipes in, setting an extra piping bag down. "Date us and we-...I'll bake you cookies." You nod eagerly at this proposition even if both Cosmo and Astro are wondering if they were the ones in fact mauled by Pebble and hit their heads on the way down.

☁ "...Date...us?" Astro cautions, almost too nervous to do so as he glances at the cookie the star shard is still holding.

☁ "Me and bud over there. You two and us two." Sprout nods resolutely even if nerves make him feel like he's going to vomit. "Like all four of us."

☁ There's silence before Cosmo is snorting into his hand. Then he's laughing. Then he's cackling. He had moved just a bit, holding one of the cookies you decorated. It's a mess of smudged icing, piled on high enough it'll overpower any taste the cookie has. It makes him laugh so hard he crouches over, even if your affronted complaints die into your own giggles.

☁ By the time Cosmo can breath again, he wipes an eye with his hand. "Everyone's so creative." He sighs, turning to look at you with a grin. "I would love to. Even if you're cookie decorating needs some work."

☁ Before he knows it, all eyes are on Astro as he blinks. A part of him is screaming all sorts of question after question ramming around his brain about schematics and the others opinions and he's gonna need a much bigger bed because he can't do cuddle shifts. If he's cuddling one of you, he's cuddling all of you.

☁ Looking at the cookie with his own face, he knows his answer before he even really has to think about it, grinning as he laughs, nodding his head.

☁ After that the rest of the cookies are decorated and stored, dishes left to dry before Cosmo and Astro are dragging both you and Sprout back to bed, practically pinning you in place as you two get the rest you missed out on earlier.

☁ For once, in a long time, no one is haunted by nightmares and the twisteds seem too far away to care at the moment.

☁ Even Pebble joins the cuddle pile with a wagging tail, pleased to see his packmates happy.

[casscainmainly]

as much as it's fun to play around w the kids' different relationships to bruce in fanfic, I pretty much agree with your assessment as far as canon goes. im sure at some point there'll be variations because there's so much that goes under the umbrella of canon but yeah, so far your graph makes sense. (also despite the fact that I love 'batfam' fics, fandom has a habit of taking "found family" literally and applying familial labels to every relationship, even though like you said, duke and steph's relationships to bruce are more friendship and mentor/mentee-esque)

Yeah I don't mind people messing around with the dynamics, especially in AUs, but I just have my own preferred takes. Bruce being Duke's dad is just a pet peeve because I think a lot of people believe that's their canon dynamic, when that erases Duke's real dad and also a lot of his personality. But I've read great Duke fics with Bruce as a father figure too, so it's all about the execution.

HEAVY agree on the 'applying familial labels' to everything. I think the main problem (and this is in canon too) is trying to tie everyone to Bruce. That's why we have the belief that Bruce is Steph, Babs, and Duke's dad, because that's the easiest way to be 'in' the Batfam. But this is so much less interesting than having a character's relationship to the Batfam be inherently messy and non-nuclear-familyfied.

Like, my ideal Duke dynamic is him being the brother of Cass and Damian, but not being Bruce's son or Tim's brother. Just like Cass is Babs' daughter and Dick's sister, but Dick and Babs are together, and Babs is also somewhat Tim's older sister, but she's not Jason's or Damian's sister; Damian sees Steph as a sister figure, Dick is kind of a father/brother/everything figure, but Bruce is also his dad; etc etc. I don't think these are incompatible, and when people try to narrow down the Batfam into 'mom' 'dad' 'children', it loses a lot of what makes the Batfam interesting. (Even I'm simplifying the relationships a lot here).

Honestly it's not a problem if people prefer different familial dynamics to the ones I like. It's only the insistence that they have to be a certain type of family that rubs me the wrong way, because then we get things like 'TimSteph and DickBabs are incest', which is just a complete misreading of what the Batfam is.

[fitzrove]

I went to see the Kaunas State Musical Theatre production of Elisabeth !!!!!! This was a super inventive and atmospheric non-replica version that I really enjoyed, so I’m writing down some rambly review thoughts down below.

(^ not the rudolf i saw - saw him as slutty lucheni kssk)

TL;DR - excellent production, very pretty, weird in thought-provoking ways. They never go the easy route on anything, it’s a dark fairytale!!! (Btw usually when people say that they mean it’s hot elisatod romance but I don’t mean that XD)

Table of Contents

1. Stage design / sets

2. Costumes

3. Orchestra and singing

4. Ensemble choreographies

5. Characters, relationships

STAGE DESIGN / SETS

RATING: 9/10

First of all - oh my god am I refreshed by a new production not looking like Schönbrunn/Vienna 2012 or like a bad copy of the Vienna original. In Kaunas, the whole colour palette is gothic, muted and dark, with lots of golds, browns and faded blues accented with red, white and gold light. We shift from scenes that look like a faded 19th century painting to dark ones with high contrast (the latter especially in the scenes with Death).

Instead of a file splitting the stage, there’s a kind of “ring” lit up at the edges (which changes colours) that lifts up to create an upper level, and descends to make a pool/mirror. There’s frameless mirrors on the walls, and the floor of the stage - to my knowledge, installed specifically for Elisabeth - can look wet or reflective depending on the scene. Characters sometimes see themselves in the mirror as they look at the floor. I’m not sure I’m explaining this properly but it looks really cool, I don’t really see many new productions go back to the ‘artifice’ and unreality themes reflected in the original set so it was cool to see!!! And of course, prop mirrors carried by the characters also sometimes appear.

There’s a screen at the back of the stage (above where the ring goes) that can be used for projections, and it’s used sparingly but to great effect. Often it’s just a black generally “wet” or fabric-y texture; during both Schattens there’s a misty grey graveyard that looks really cool; Hass is red; during Kitsch Lucheni has no props but we see funnily quick zooms into dinner plates with pictures of the Imperial family on them. It integrates very well into the more solid parts of the set!

Other solid setpieces include Death’s boat (a simple, non-ornate design out of a metallic-ish material with mysterious writing on it) that descends from the ceiling to take people away (no carriage here). It’s complemented by three similarly shaped vertical golden pieces, also with writing on them, which appear in scenes with court power dynamics present.

There’s also a big dark oval thing that appears a few times as a sort of threat from Death/to emphasise his presence. I like the boat more than the pieces, maybe because I don’t fully understand what the pieces mean heheh. I guess it adds to the “unknowable” vibes which I do enjoy, the set is generally very non-literal and symbolic which is cool. The movable parts of the set are extremely versatile: the same four dark pillar blocks can be used for almost any scene (coffee house, Boote in der Nacht, IGNM…) and fit it well, and Elisabeth’s coffin (seen in Prolog) becomes her bed (or some side table she was lying on as a prank XD) and then a garden table.

Another very visible part of the production are the portrait faces !! Members of the ensemble hold up historically accurate pictures of Elisabeth’s relatives (including Rudolf heheh…) with light-up edges during Prolog and Sinking World, which then change into a billion portraits of Elisabeth (which Lucheni can’t stand to see) at the point of each number when they sing her name. I like it so much, it was one of the things I knew about this production that made me interested enough to want to go watch it!

COSTUMES

RATING: 8/10

Disclaimer - I am a historical accuracy hater when it comes to Elisabeth costumes. Firstly, exact reproductions are creatively boring; secondly, it’s not the point of the show; thirdly, in many cases it’s simply not possible for theatres to put excessive resources into a costume seen in one or two scenes in a single show. State-owned repertory theatres in smaller countries reuse like crazy!! So that’s a disclaimer to start with hahaha. I want costumes to look good and make sense, not compare them to irl pictures ksksks.

I really liked Kaunas Elisabeth’s portrait dress, which also served as her Hungarian coronation dress :D It’s like a golden sparkle explosion sksks, which stands out very strongly from the rest of the stage and the simple brown and black dresses of other ladies present - it gets the point across. In general, Elisabeth is the only really colourful member of the cast with her white nightgown, dressing gown and (historically accurate xD) black and white ribbon outfit, which emphasise her uniqueness and isolation; she also wears a completely black outfit towards the end. Rudolf (both adult and child) and Franz Joseph have identical faded blue (coat) + light cream/white costumes (pants), which are SO much better looking than the overly saturated bright cyan things we’ve been seeing in some recent productions skkss.

I was initially sceptical of Death’s outfit (he never changes it save for covering up his tits with a scarf/towel thing when he’s playing doctor sksk) because it looks a lot like the pleather Schönbrunn outfit I don’t like :-D But it’s actually constructed completely differently!! The way the leather jacket falls makes it have more work uniform/ferryman vibes, and then for some slutty reason he has pants, a corset (?) and no shirt underneath XD I think it works, man chest is not my favourite aesthetic but it’s distinctive and fits the storytelling…

LOVED Lucheni’s outfit!! :D To me it’s meant to be basic and everyman-y and it definitely was here, BUT it’s lined with red everywhere inside (and the soles of his shoes are red too), and for reasons that will become apparent later, that made me insane. Also leather pants slay xD

Additionally, I really liked Sophie’s outfits and the Frau Wolf’s salon costumes, with golden hoop skirts that were open at the back. I especially liked the outfit of Frau Wolf herself omg, it’s a Prussian (I assume akaksk) uniform coat draped over the bodysuit+skirt combo that the girls wear. Looks so cool and I really like the idea and symbolism of that! also the frau wolfs I saw were really hot in their role skskksks, special mention here also to Elisabeth’s chief lady-in-waiting on the second day because dommy mo---

At first I was a bit annoyed at some of the ensemble costumes for lacking individual details (the ones in Vienna 92 have so much going on), but tbh the uniform look they went for with them (especially concerning colour palette) really emphasised Elisabeth’s isolation from the court and ordinary people, so I liked that. I guess I appreciate the outfits for how they come together to create the show, even if the individual ones aren’t crazy pretty to me or anything hahah. Although the ones for Elisabeth’s ladies-in-waiting had amazingly pretty bodice/corset parts!!

ORCHESTRA AND SINGING

10/10

I liked the orchestra, it was definitely more of a full “opera house” type sound which I find nicer than musicals with less-than-3-people “bands” lol. Sounded good!! A special note must also be made about the fact that the KSMT seems to cast more flexibly than bigger productions, which is great. I don’t like it when every performer has the same musical theatre/pop combo voice which is too common rn lol, it just seems boring to me. But we got a lot of fuller/lower female voices (than there usually are in musicals) and more operatic male voices in both leading roles and the ensemble, which made for a more interesting overall sound. It wasn’t too operatic either, just the right balance I think.

The soloists were seriously impressive!! Some crazy long notes in Schatten 1, an insane IGNM reprise opt-up from Elisabeth… I really enjoyed the performances despite not understanding any lyrics heheh.

ENSEMBLE / CHOREOGRAPHIES

7/10

I saw the show twice and didn’t like some of the ensemble choreographies first lmao. It’s a very operatic style of directing - the only “proper” dancing is Elisabeth and FJ waltzing, and a “Death’s shadows” dance group that accompanies him in a few numbers - with lots of simple, repeated arm and leg movements, either synchronized or in “waves”. For some songs it fits really well because of the melody - the coffee house scene and Hass come to mind, both were well done - but in others like Alle Fragen I was skeptical upon first viewing.

In Alle Fragen specifically there’s lots of extremely repetitive, non-synchronised crossing themselves, chest-beating (mea culpa), kneeling, etc. At first I found this a bit kitschy/weird, and didn’t really like it. However, I changed my mind when I visited a church the morning before show #2 and actually saw two guys do the exact same thing upon entering it!!!!!! It’s a reference to actual self-blessing rituals, at least among Lithuanian Catholics, which seems really inventive heheh - making a localized reference the main target audience would really notice/understand !!! So upon second viewing, I ended up liking it.

CHARACTERS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Probably the most important aspect heheh. In the two shows that I saw, Franz Joseph, Elisabeth, Sophie and several ensemble members were played by different performers each day, but Rudolf, Death and Lucheni were the same each time. Gonna ramble about each character one by one I guess kskssk.

The two Elisabeths I saw (Marija Arutiunova and Gabrielė Bielskytė) were very different!!! Gabrielė was a more “traditional” Elisabeth, a bit melancholy from the start and becoming further so as the story progresses. I enjoyed her performance a lot and her vocal performance was flawless. Marija, on the other hand, I was concerned about at first because she’s SO enthusiastic (almost annoyingly hahah) in “Wie du”, practically bouncing off the floor hahah. But that actually ended up working really well. A common worry people have about newer Elisabeth productions is that she comes across too innocent and Disney Princess-y; from the first number I was afraid that would happen, but to my surprise, that was not at all the case. She plays a really strong character arc and the Elisabeth of act 2 was practically unrecognisable to me from Elisabeth in act 1. She was so full of joy and life at the start and her environment just sucks all of that out of her!!! It’s such a cool way to play it and I ended up really liking that.

They do a really clever thing in “Prolog” and “Wie du”. Prolog has Elisabeth’s body on top of a stone coffin under a white sheet, as a setpiece. At the start of Wie du we find out that it was Elisabeth herself the whole time - she emerges from beneath the sheet and spooks her dad lmao. Something something symbolism and smooth scene transition XD

Much like Marija’s Elisabeth characterisation, I was also skeptical of the Elisatod in this production at first XD Especially with how Marija played it - again, enthusiasm. The blocking between them is occasionally very POTO music of the night skksks. BUT (as a known hater of romantic elisatod skks) the touchiness actually worked for me because of how Death was portrayed (more on that later) and also because of how their relationship played out.

Elisabeth, as a teenager, seems fascinated by death as some romanticised adventure (one among many other adventures to be had) - she’s not afraid of it, finds beauty in it, etc. A very realistically adolescent point of view, also present in Der Letzte Tanz (though it’s much less gentle this time)!! But by the time her first child dies (Schatten 1), it dawns on her how horrible and cruel and unfair death (Death?) can be - and this is perfectly portrayed by Death handing her a knife in this scene and acting as if it’s totally normal and he’s helping her somehow. She’s completely broken down and distraught while holding it and snaps out of it when FJ comes up to her and hugs her. Such a strong turning point!! And he offers her the knife several other times. Overall I really see this as a symbolic relationship (my favourite type), Death is not at all “some guy” but a personified concept that Elisabeth has a constantly changing relationship to.

Also - the prologue and the prelude to DSF (whenever the judge is speaking) have a young Elisabeth (literal child actress) coiling the “red string of fate” around her hands, mouthing along the judge’s lines. So neat!! In the prologue, Death descends in his boat because she slowly pulls him in (he’s holding the string in his hand). And right before Lucheni goes to stab the older Elisabeth, the child stops him by laughing in his face… mm crunchy symbolism >:) he’s haunted heheh

Death himself (Egidijus Bavikinas) is a weirdo XD I called him “silly rabbit” at intermission and the name stuck aksksksl. He’s good at his job (quite kind to people when they die) but doesn’t really get most human concepts even though he sings Rondo and says in the prolog that he loved Elisabeth ksks. He’s a bit outraged/genuinely surprised when Elisabeth marries FJ, and genuinely perplexed when Elisabeth doesn’t kill herself despite repeated friendly suggestions skksks. He doesn’t seem ever to do cruel things intentionally, he’s just there to put people on his boat (except Rudolf for some reason skks). I think my interpretation of him might be slightly impeded by not understanding the lyrics - he just seems aloof (in a neutral, non-mean way) even at moments when I know he’s singing stuff like “you love me more than you love your husband” hahah. But yeah, I think he’s fine, he sings well and is occasionally unintentionally funny which entertains me enough.

Lucheni is a SLUT xD Martynas Beinaris normally plays Rudolf but has apparently been mainly Lucheni for quite a bit now, and I had him as Lucheni both times. I guess the right word is “flamboyant”, very energetic and with lots of flair, it was always a great joy to watch him go. I liked the way he says “Death” in the prologue skls, seems a bit obsessed… And of course, I can’t not mention the ending of the show!!!!!!! Elisabeth and Death get into Death’s boat together, it starts to lift up, and slowly we see that Lucheni has hanged himself with the red thread of fate that binds the two, and his last act is to reach up towards the boat, eternally unable to join them…………. the symbolism… gay repression... or something… love it!! (Reminder that Lucheni has red all over the more hidden parts of his costume… red inner linings of the coat, red soles… the gay repression interpretation writes itself skskls. Obsessed)

Franz Joseph is there adlskks. He was very good both days, I liked a moment the second day (with Raimondas Baranauskas) between him and Elisabeth when they almost hold/touch hands after Rudolf dies :’) and he was very excited to hang out with Elisabeth kssk, he’s just giggling and running around in Bad Ischl which was pretty fun (though he puts on the imperial mask pretty quickly after).

The FJ and Sophie relationship was soo well drawn! There was a symbolic thing where he gets dressed in the lead-up to “Jedem gibt er das seine” - attendants do the rest, but she puts white gloves on him as she tells him to be cold and hard. In Bellaria, he angrily takes his gloves off and throws them on the floor; Death picks them up and wears them to lead her offstage, perhaps as a form of comfort? Really cool!

Rudolf (Jurgis Jarašius) is my meow meow… he takes one big swig of a wine bottle during the song right before Schatten 2 and then falls facedown on the floor and has to be picked up by Death (indirectly - Death makes his shadow angel people put their hands all over Rudolf to do group bondage on him two separate times skslls, yay xD). After Schatten he falls on his face again and FJ walks up to him singing to him (Rudolf I’m so angry with you) and looks vaguely disappointed WHILE RUDOLF IS STILL LYING ON THE FLOOR and Rudolf has to slowly get up while FJ disapproves kskslsl. He has big fluffy hair and he’s gay but doesn’t want to know what that is and is vaguely scared of it skksks, just has weird obsessive feelings about tits out leather coat man (he stares a lot and tries to run to him, leans in as if wanting to get closer, but Death keeps rebuffing him and tossing him away skks). The todolf is weird and indirect in this production, there’s a quick kiss that lands somewhere in the cheek-lip area ksksks and a repeat of the head-hug/caress that Death does to Elisabeth. It’s weird and freaky and kind of cool lmao. After Rudolf shoots himself, Death closes his eyes for him, which is a pretty sweet moment. Also on the second day he was rage-weeping during Spiegel which I really like.

The Mayerling staging in this production is great!! After Spiegel, Rudolf tries to run out of the room but is blocked by a mirror (held by one of Death’s shadows); he tries again, but one by one the mirrors surround him from all sides and he’s just stuck in this small narrow space with nowhere to go, just forced to face himself over and over. Very piercing and accurate allegory for mental illness!!! Enjoyed. Put him in the torment nexus heheheh

I guess that’s all of my most important thoughts… :D Will add if I think of something else!

[vxxcte]

to add on to this with my own idea:

I think s3 might get a little boring if all of Gi-Hun’s POV for some episodes was spent watching him watch the games. he would spiral and get fucked up to some degree of course but that can be difficult to portray in a live action, if the settings and actions of a character are limited.

so what if gi-hun, while having to watch these games, was given the power to also alter the way the games must be played? think in s1 when they turned off the lights on the glass bridge. I think that would be interesting to see and would also add a twist rather than him just being forced to watch.

it would make him more akin to a VIP, but it also gives him the opportunity to help out the other players, a chance to try and minimize the deaths. and maybe in-ho would pull some sick move of his own. he could add his own alterations to the games so that instead of lessening the collateral damage that gi-hun intended his changes to bring, the combination worsens it.

or maybe in-ho doesn’t have to do anything at all to counter gi-hun. a big theme in squid game as a show is about how certain situations bring out the worst in people. every time gi-hun has tried to save these people, it has backfired on him without outside interference because they did not want to be saved and they did not want anyone else to be saved.

it could happen again if he has to watch and only interfere from a distance. it would happen in a completely new way, when gi-hun has been given this much power to try and help these people but it ends up doing more damage because of the people he is helping.

the system is utterly broken and doomed, and it’s because of the people in it. and it would line up with what in-ho told him before, and it would break gi-hun because maybe il-nam was right all along.

being super vague here of course but this is just food for thought, imagine what this kind of situation would do to gi-hun. and imagine what it would do to their whole dynamic that is (unknowingly on gi-hun’s end) based on having or letting go of faith in people’s humanity.

I think this prediction is quite wide spread but I'm really curious to see what will happen to Gi hun after In ho killed Jung bae.

I've seen people bring this up and feel like it would be sooo interesting, which is that In ho is not going to let Gi hun go back to the game but takes him with him to watch the Games unfold alongside him, to force him to watch his friends die, to force him to become something of a VIP himself in a way.

And on one hand I badly want Gi hun to go back to the other players, but on the other, this plotline would be so amazing. It'd be so interesting to see Gi hun grapple with that situation, and In ho just watching his downfall (because watching the Games and not being able to help will DEFINETLY wreck Gi hun, like he has such a savior complex and feels so responsible for everyone, so not being able to be there with his friends will destroy him).

Anywayyys I'm so hyped for season 3 but I sure know that they'll break our hearts. Like, it feels they'll go all out for the kills next season, since a lot of players we know survived until now.

[oh-no-its-bird]

What do you think of Jiraiya/Orochimaru?

I'm a fan!! Its not my main thing (the potential of Sakumo and Orochimaru honestly interests me more) but I do love to see it

I think it's most fun when it's unrequited / they just never get together. The tragedy of it is what really sells it to me, very fun, these bitches are not allowed to be happy

My all time favorite take for them, coming from Plasticity by @mixelation (which is also great read in general, highly reccomend), is basically when someone (Tori) notices;

"Hey do you think it's weird that in so many Icha Icha (especially the older ones written around the time of Orochimaru defecting) the main love interest is a busty blonde and the secondary love interest is a more flat chested elegant woman with long black hair who usually turns out to be evil in the third act, making our beloved main hero spiral over the betrayal? But also not before they fuck, like, a lot?"

Then ofc proceeds to have a minor breakdown about it because NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO HER DISCOVERIES BUT SHE KNOWS SHES RIGHT!!!!!!!!

Anyways this is hilarious and I hold onto this hc with both of my hands, Jiriyah ABSOLOUTLEY wrote thinly veiled porn about Orochimaru in multiple Icha Icha in order to cope with what he was going through at the time— though whether it was subconsciously done or on purpose, who knows. I think somewhere inbetween but he's in denial about it

Anyways yeah, Oro and Jiriyah, I'm a fan. There's lots of potential there, lots of angles that make it interesting.

They're childhood friends.

They fought in (and helped to win) the second shinobi war together as a team.

They abandoned eachother but while Orochimaru did a much more thoroughly abandoning, Jiriyah did leave him first.

Jiryah is a straight male stereotype who sexualizes anything in a skirt while Orochimaru has his whole gender apathy girlboss thing going for him and ends up in Boruto presenting as fucking housewife goals.

Jiriyah could be counted among the "best" characters of the series, from a moral standpoint, while Orochimaru among the worst.

Jiriyah devoted himself to listening to the prophecies of the toads while Orochimaru can be argued as running away from things like fate and prophecy in his mission to thwart death and become immortal.

And then there's ofc Tsunade, who even if we aren't talking ab here, I feel like has to be mentioned in some way just bc of the massive impact she's had both on their lives and on their dynamic. Having her around adds a whole new generational trauma wrench into the machine

Anyways yeah, I'm a fan. Very fun!!

[lenoue]

would really love to hear more of your thoughts on dean competing with john (in the context of wincest) because i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately (specifically about dean’s anger at sam who metaphorically started to submit to john after john died)

I've been stewing on this for a while today and

okay, so the basis is how sam's primary motivation about leaving, cutting off contact, not coming back, it all has to do with John. which makes sense, cause sam's conflict was with John. because John was controlling their lives, their directions and every decision. His goals and his virtues were the only real ones. in the hierarchy of John -> Dean -> Sam, John is the ultimate authority, Dean is the trusted partner who is allotted with Sam's safety at times and Sam is at the bottom of the hierarchy, the china doll. Their powers are distributed accordingly. Dean is not the Primary Authority here, it's john. Which Sam recognised and reacted appropriately.

Dean did not hold absolute control over Sam when John was around. And because Dean did not have this control, Sam "got away" from him. I believe some part of Dean would put this failing on John, blame him for losing Sammy, if the hero worship was dialed down.

So the only one left to blame is Sam, who, in his mind, should have acknowledged and respected whatever little authority Dean had, whatever connection they shared, and stayed with him.

thing is, Dean is bossy and a bit authoritative over Sam for the first few seasons. this eventually morphs into how his need for control twists their relationship into something only dean can find comfort in. this coincides with Dean taking on his father's role in their dynamic. Making him the Unquestionable Ultimate Authority, and he is determined to not only live up to the job (and role) his father left, he wants surpass John. He wants to make sure Sam never slips out of his hands like he did at 18.

Sam metaphorically submitting to John after his death is so interesting btw!! I didn't consider that. yeah that one had to blow for dean. it's one thing for Sam to display the presence of john's hold by actively resisting it. But to give in? starting to agree with John? fight dean to actively respect John? He wants that acquiescence from Sam, probably believes he deserves it and further has earned the right to it. With Dean when it comes to Sam, he wants a level of exclusivity. ("only dean calls me Sammy") he wants to know now that he is the patriarch of their family, Sam will submit to him. he doesn't want that submission to be shared with John.

[beemochi-art]

Fandom hot take?

Oh I’ve got a couple

1) Not a big fan of cygate. It just feels kind of weird.

2) I’ve ranted about this before but The treatment of Nightshade is unacceptable. And I’m not talking about the standard homophones, no one cares about what they think, haters gonna hate and all that. No, what I’m more concerned about how they are treated amongst the fandom. For some basket case reason we’ll have these people crying from the rooftops about protecting trans kids but when an individual comes along who represents trans kids, oop! Time to make porn! I never understood that, what makes people see a non binary kid and suddenly it’s and excuse to sexualize. Like if it’s a pass. Why! It usually Just Nightshade. It’s honestly made me uncomfortable to post them. I’ve drawn a bunch of Nightshade stuff, a bunch of goofy comics that probably won’t see the light of day. I’ve already had some idiot on here try to share their perversion to a completely innocent comic. It makes me so angry, if anything would make me gtfo off this page it’s that.

3) There are a lot of problems with Oplita fans. I’m a fan of the ship, I LOVE the ship. But I think the way most people ship them it also takes away a lot from elita. It seems like her existence is just to compliment Optimus. Many Oplita fans can’t describe Elita without saying mommy, girl boss or pegging. Maybe not that last one but still. I enjoy seeing Elita just on her own sometimes, skybound, earthspark and tf one some examples (idw as well but I don’t like her too much, she kinda eh. Honestly I’m not a big fan of angry boss lady but to each their own.) I think when people approach this ship they should try to ask themselves about her hopes, fears and motivations. If all you can describe her as “mother is mothering” I don’t think that’s good. I like mom Elita! I really do, but the thing you’ve got to remember about moms is that they were a person before they had kids. Elita is such a cool and interesting character and shouldn’t be treated as just Optimus girl boss accessory.

4) I’m of a clear enough mind to recognize that JazzProwl fans are insane and that’s ok. Cause Prowl and Jazz don’t really have any meaningful interaction in most continuings, except in tfa. But if we were all sane we’d ship tfa prowl and jazz. Not everyone will like the ship on the basis of they look good together and that’s fine. That kinda of why Forte-verse is just kind of silly. It ain’t that deep.

5) Tf one Megatron was wrong. His feels were valid all the way until he dropped Optimus. I think the villain worshiped is a bit unsettling, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Megatron. But I think only focusing on him and his crash out takes away from the message Optimus gives. Optimus was incompetent and a bad friend but that didn’t warrant death. I think a lot of times Orion was just so shocked by what his friend was saying that he struggled to say the right things D16 needed to hear. Orion was soo close to getting through to Dee, but then he, as Dee’s best friend compared him to Sentinel. That was a major trigger for Dee.

On another note, I think it’s interesting the reactions to Sentinel’s betrayal. I noticed Megatron uses a lot of language that is related to religion, “no more false prophets.” “Have faith in Sentinel Prime.” this was his everything. For Orion it may not have ever been that deep. For Dee his faith, body and sanity all rise of what he believes in, if he could serve the primes by being a slave it was all worth it. Unfortunately Sentinel is just like those mega church pastors.

6) I think the existence of femmas are cool and important. I think gender dynamics and social structure can have a part to play in Transformers even if it’s an uncomfortable subject, but they’re existence shouldn’t be a we are all the same gimmick, if you look to our real world the dynamic between the two sex’s and the social structures are different and sometimes not equal. I’m not saying that’s how it’s meant to be but I think it’s a topic that can be explored without shame. And as much as I think that, femmas in series also outline the nature of the writers as well even if it’s negative, the fan project Galvatrons Revenge being a good example.

7) I was looking at the story boards of the first story for Tf one. I think those were fun and all but I prefer the product that we got. A lot of people are saying that we were robbed but I don’t think that’s the case. That Megatron was evil, and his actions of shooting Orion didn’t feel as heart reaching as it does in the og. Tf One Megatron was emotional and vulnerable, I think he connected with the audience much better, his raw emotions is what makes a good megatron. And the storyboards just didn’t have that. It wasn’t nearly as emotionally impactful, I’m shock people said they would have preferred that over the Original. I don’t think I would have liked it nearly as much if so.

Not to say that they’re weren’t very sweet lines in the ere that I liked very much. I liked hearing about Dee’s motivations and dreams. And how he had a home with Orion. I liked how Dee looked to Elita and Bee when Orion was making him choose. There are parts that I thought were very sweet. And if the movie was that I still would have liked it just not as much.

Ok I’m done

I hope some of this made sense. Some things annoy me more than others lol.

[blood-starved-beast]

I never got the impression in league lore that Piltover could stand up against Noxus. It was a place of scientific study and international trade, without a standing army. It's not about an "underdog story" (simplification if you asked me) so much as it simply a consequence of the worldbuilding it has. It is a city state, not a even something like the United Kingdom during the heyday of imperialism. Much smaller. Noxus doesn't need to bring in the full force of its entire army to defeat it if it really wanted to. And I don't get the impression its current leadership does. Ambessa was a lone actor under specific circumstances and acted accordingly (she even lost some of her holdings according to Elora.) Hence why Piltover/Zaun was able to defeat them. If there was more of an army with a longer term plan (Ambessa's plans over the course of s2 fell through, and she became desperate at the end) P/Z both would fall easily unless the General(s) in question were incompetent/overconfident.

Piltover was a rich nation but from s1 it was establish it got even bigger thanks to the hexgates. Nations from all over used Piltover as a way to speed up their shipping. Either way, "locking interesting political dynamics behind regional plots" was always going to happen. The lore is largely going to be via shows unless they continue more books on the lines of the Ambessa novel or reopen Riot Forge or get comic book deals. And even if so, that would defeat your argument there. Stories are always in stasis until they are touched upon again. This was the same deal pre-Arcane. Many champions were and still are frozen in time in their stories and we have no clue where that's heading for them.

"[T]here can be no Piltovan spies whatsoever prior to the events of 2 months ago." We have no evidence that this isn't the case. Piltover was dealing internationally. They likely do have spies. The problem here is that Ambessa was a recent arrival and a fast actor and established players including Cassandra Kiramman were killed or lost (Mel in s2). Caitlyn, Jayce, these are comparatively newer players in the game. And Caitlyn got under Ambessa's thumb. What networks existed, if they did, were likely disrupted or compromised.

"Camille being an inteligencer for over 60 years gives weight to her actions and character and more importantly weight to Piltover as a region." We don't know if she isn't though. Just cause she doesn't have hextech with her doesn't mean she doesn't deal in intelligence. Ferros doesn't seem to join the Council until the end of s2, so likely her intelligence would come at a price or be personally limited.

Anyways those are potential explanations to say - a lot of League onlys are limiting one's imagination by being stickler to the lore. The problem with League lore I've found is it tries very hard to make everyone the protagonist which is impossible to do in a cohesive stroyline. Case in point - Warwick and his reception amongst his playerbase. Any story cannot touch upon every detail or worldbuilding - or it losing sight of the plot/themes/etc. It simply isn't possible. That doesn't mean those things do not exist, however. Like people saying certain champions do not exist cause of s2 or whatnot. Just cause they weren't focused on doesn't mean those champions don't exist. They just haven't gotten to that part yet. The ball is on Riot's court to keep expanding, and they slowly are.

Jayce s1: Today I got a glimpse of what war between us might look like. [Zaun] wouldn’t stand a chance.

S2: *Piltover nearly gets completely rolled by a single Noxian house using chemtech, has to be saved by Zaun*

[ensemblesongs]

Hello, I’m the anon who said I was disappointed and I’m here to apologize. When writing that comment I was going through a mental episode which (due to unrelated and personal issues) isn’t an excuse but definitely aided in the way I wrote that comment. I realize that it sounded very rude which was not my intention and makes me disappointed in myself. I was really sad to see one of my favorite enstars creators support the boycott because from the research I’ve done, by observing the reactions from both Japanese and Ryukyuan Enstars fans, they don’t seem to be very happy with the racial part of the boycott. Some are definitely still not happy that Akatsuki went from 3 to 4 but it has nothing to due with race for them. The reason I said the boycott itself seemed racist is because I’m seeing a lot of boycott supporters saying that BECAUSE of Ibuki’s Ryukyuan heritage he shouldn’t be in any unit at all and should remain by himself which makes me sad because he deserves a loving and supportive unit which Akatsuki definitely is. Again I’m very sorry for the way my previous comment came off and I still appreciate your work. I just hope that this informed you on the perspective of actual Japanese and Ryukyuan people.

Sweet thing! It's okay! Don't beat yourself up. I hope I didn't come off as aggressive, I can be emotional in the face of criticism but try my best to leave it out of my responses. I was explaining my motives!

He DOES deserve to be in a unit that will give him love. I felt a bit sad seeing him be neglected during the Esupuri debut, and I was personally hoping for him to be able to shine as a solo idol because that'd mean he would get to collab with all sorts of units like Madara does, and it felt like he was being set up to seek freedom and parallel him in some sort of way given his rejection of his role as a kid, but I would have also loved for him to belatedly join the rest of the new face idols in Esupuri, because I think his dynamic with Esu could have been interesting ♪ I even pondered the delusional combination of Ibuki and Kaname, though that would never happen, just because it's interesting to imagine.

I've definitely seen the people you're talking about, and also those who focus more on the AKATSUKI dilemma than Happy Element's mishandling of Ibuki. I only mentioned it because I think both are valid to be upset about and thought that maybe you didn't see anything wrong with the story at all. But one issue is so much larger than the other, especially when it's being done in a game with as big of an audience as Ansta, and I feel sad seeing people misdirect their hatred towards Ibuki — not just because he is a child and the victim here regardless of Keito's kindness (the traditional, Yamato Japanese character who is here to guide the proud, "indigenous demon" character down the right path. Do you see how that sounds? It's one thing for Keito to be his senior, drawn to him because of his experience with Kurou... ah, I don't know...), but because he is not real. The people who love him and feel connected to him are, though.

The "because" factor is less that because of his ethnicity he doesn't deserve to be in a unit, and more so that they are really doubtful that the writers will be able to pull it off inoffensively or that they already find it offensive due to the implications. At least, that's most of what I've seen. And again, the execution was just very poor. Ibuki and Esu are my favourite of the new kids, as I've mentioned. When it was revealed, I felt a sense of dread that still doesn't fade days after, cementing itself in my stomach as I watched the stream featuring the seiyuu via a third party. The way they're going for it is already rather reflective of history and not in a necessarily good way. I want to have hope that they will find a way to make this better, but I don't deserve to tell AKATSUKI-p to have that same faith, nor do I expect them to. It's sad that Happy Elements' official account is blocking people with genuine criticism, and very immature of them.

Anyway, I hope you'll feel better soon, Anon! And know that I, and many others, really do mean well. I've only seen two or so tweets in Japanese addressing the racism angle, honestly... even that much I was happy to see. Not that I think they're stupid or unaware. But there's a lot of work put into brushing Ryukyuan struggles under the rug.

[brw]

Now, I often describe Wonder Man as a D-Tier, nobody Avenger exceedingly few people think or talk about, because his only real connections is to Wanda, who does not and never has needed him and has far more interesting and more fufilling dynamics with just about every other character in the whole world, and to Vision, who is very rarely thought of anymore outside of Wanda. This isn't to say nobody thinks about him (Steve Orlando remembered him), but I think Simon is going to be mostly a joke character from here on out, other than maybe getting a slightly bigger presence when/if his show ever comes out, but even that is a pretty big if because of the differences between MCU Simon and 616 Simon.

He's a D-Tier guy. You could read hundreds, or thousands of Marvel comics, and not know anything about this guy, because he doesn't really show up in any beloved, iconic comic runs, except for maybe Busiek Avengers. So it's weird to then remember that Simon has actually been in like... a lot of comics. And I mean a lot.

Mantis, right? Big part of Guardians of the Galaxy. So beloved by her creator he put her in three non-Marvel comic publications. Now synonymous with the GOTG, now one of the main characters of the team. She has 143 appearances. Simon has 679.

Obviously, Simon is a white man, so naturally he is more likely to be used, but this is still insane to me. Moon Knight, who has had multiple solo runs over the years, his own television show? A really obnoxious amount of X Reader fic? He only has 529 appearances. Simon has over a hundred more appearances than he does.

Apocalypse, massive X-Men villain turned anti-hero a lot of people love has 208. Alicia Masters, who is the biggest part of the civilian cast of Fantastic Four comics by a country mile is at 408. Simon has over 250 more appearances. He has more appearances than both Polaris and Havok. He has more appearances than the fucking Kingpin. HE HAS MORE APPEARANCES THAN EDDIE BROCK. EDDIE ONLY HAS 415!

It's just so odd. Like nobody talked about this guy when I started getting into comics, but on the numbers alone he has more of a presence than fucking Venom. Isn't that bizarre? Isn't that insane? He has more appearances than Mystique. Mystique! One of the most beloved X-Men antagonists of all time! He's appeared more than Black Bolt.

I dunno. It's just funny to me how little of an impact on culture and comics Simon has had despite being super prolific as a guy who shows up in shit.