#The demons were the ones to kidnap newborn Charlie to be their new king
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*runs back to Tumblr dash and slips it over my mouth like an oxygen mask*
*gasping*
You don't even know what they're doing out there, you guys. Those fans… okay, those fans, eeeeee :S ….. They want to punish Eve for kind-of-definitely instigating a demon mutiny after her boyfriend broke up with her -- WHEN WE ALL KNOW SHE'S VALID FOR THAT! Even if it wasn't her very first break up in the history of humanity, she's a woman with really pretty brown eyes! That's an automatic get-out-of-jail free card in TV land, we all know that. Don't we all know that!??
(Breathe, breathe)
*slips mask back on*
*rips it back off*
Oh, but then -- BUT THEN YOU SEE! -- these same people also want to woobify Michael and make him a misunderstood twin instead of the shittiest angel to ever shit. HE FUCKING KILLED CHLOE!!! Stabbed her right in the gut with a super blunt object so it probably hurt like a bitch on top of the dying! So how is him being played by the same actor as Lucifer make him redeemable? Huh? HUH?? RIDDLE ME THIS BATMAN!! Why is it oh so fucking sad that MICHAEL, the evil scum, was treated appropriately as scum in the show, but MY FUCKING BEAUTIFUL EVE WHO NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG IN HER LIFE is the true criminal who should have obviously been punished after S4 if the writers knew anything?
THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD?! 😱😫😭
#This is actually inspired by some comments made several days ago but I just now thought of how to be funny with it#Those m/f shippers are W I L D you guys O_O#'I hope Michael isn't a dick in this 😥' <- actual sentiment left on my fanfic!#Not 'I hope he doesn't kill Chloe this time'#No no we're not worried about that#Because why should anyone worry about Chloe? She's being a big meanie to Lucifer after all (also sentiments left on my fic)#No we only care if MICHAEL -- the SEASON 5 VILLAIN -- gets treated fairly and is liked by everyone#... 😐#Well I've got news for you FANDOM!#I hate Michael's guts and the only reason he's not my least favorite character is because Cain exists#And I for one think his scheming manipulative quest to make God retire so he can become the new God is the most interesting thing about him#So if you water that down then what do you have? A nasty bowl of mush that no one wants to watch on their screens#And regarding Eve: I'M GAY! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ She's canonically gay!#What do you expect me to do: lock her up?#FOR WHAT??#For being too pretty???#She didn't kill a main character!#Just the season villain who was trying to kill her first!#And even then all she did was stab him and said 'hey when you get to Hell tell the demons to come get Lucifer'#The demons were the ones who didn't like what they saw on Earth and chose to mutiny over it#The demons were the ones to kidnap newborn Charlie to be their new king#Eve helped stop the mutiny!#Just admit you hate her for being so pretty and for being beloved by every other character on the show!#or better yet: JUST BE MORE GAY!#/rant#(a not so serious rant but a rant all the same lol)
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