#The darkest mind [Canon verse]

[t-tomuras]

post canon Mithrun x elf reader

Mithrun deciding to discover and create new desires for himself after his retirement from the Canaries becomes adventurous for you in turn. Previously assigned as his caretaker you chose to continue the roll even though you had no obligation to do so. Stealing away the coveted spot from another Canary that didn’t want to go back to prison but you wanted to be selfish too. 

Wanted to continue to be in his presence because of the affection you held for him, worsened by every moment you’d spent alone with him inside and outside of dungeons. 

Learning him better than anyone else ever had, even better than Mithrun had himself. Educating yourself on what he enjoys or detests, what soothes him or distresses him, what calms and what angers him. 

Anything and everything, long since well versed in the inner mechanisms of your Captains mind after his tragedy; it’s only natural you traverse this new unknown with him the same as before. Only now you aren’t forced together, willingly eager for the new adventure by his side and you’d be remiss to think the fact didn’t cause the slightest ghost of a smile to his lips. 

But how could you not choose to follow him into the sunlight after delving into the darkest pits of hell for over a century? 

Elect to have the possibility and privilege to nurture a tenderness with himself that he’d overtly neglected for too long. The very idea of it made your chest feel warm, your heart fluttering tirelessly within its bone cage in the early weeks of your new lives.

You’d be elated to find that first desire, to discover what ignited his heart again and caused a pang of emptiness in his belly that food could never hope to quell. 

But you learn, before long, that what brings him pleasure is you and how the discovery brings out a hunger in him only you’d be able to satisfy. 

Nights of common intimacy such as shared meals and baths in the privacy of his home you share with him weighed on your captain, unwittingly to yourself. Ignorant of every liberal touch of unadulterated tenderness and unmitigated care for Mithrun building a pressure between you both until he touches you back. 

Grabbing your wrist one fateful night as you both get ready for bed. Carefully and thoughtfully Mithrun’s hair while you stood between his knees clad only in your own fluffy towel. 

Humming a tranquil sound he’d voiced that he liked, appreciating every effort you made for him. Efforts that so obviously transcended duty, Mithrun was no fool. 

Everything happened in a blur, from the gasp he swallowed the moment his lips sealed over yours to the pleased mewl he muffled after leaving you bare before pulling you to him. 

Lustful pawing to experimental teasing that you don’t need much of before you’re ready to take him. A carnal desire in you, silently stoked for years now ready for his own consumption. 

His first taste of you already developing a craving that you’re sure will make a glutton out of Mithrun for as long as he has you from the first moment he sinks into you. 

“Captain—“ breathless as Mithrun’s healing lips brush along the apple of your cheeks before his teeth nip at the pointed tips of elongated cartilage. 

“Mithrun,” he corrects but you only whine in confusion, fingers gripping at his waist as your thighs tighten around his hips. His pace still unrelenting as he ruts into you, the lewd squelching of your cunt he causes by the pleasure he provides warms your skin. Nails digging crescent moons into scarred alabaster as he grits his teeth and fists the pillow the opposite side of your head, “call me by my name.” 

It could almost be taken as a plea, the clipped husk of his tone insistent in the notion as you clutch tightly to him. Pressing your chest into his as he curls around you, heeding yet another command from your captain as euphoria washes over you, “Oh Mithrun.” 

Crying his name, carrying it on your tongue like a sweet melody that coaxes him to follow shortly after you. Spilling into your inviting warmth as he grips at your hips to angle your pelvis better to take him. Stroking downward in a way that leaves you gasping, pearly tears clinging to long lashes as your lips part for another moan only for no sound to escape. 

Given no time to shy as you notice him staring at you intently, the deep obsidian of his remaining eye flickering into the vibrant steely silver he once possessed so many decades ago. 

Cupping your cheek as his thumb presses onto your plump lower lip, pulling it down tenderly before he swipes the pad along the curve. Rhythm slowing to gently rocking until he stills in your cunt completely as he leans down for another kiss. Slow, relaxed as he exhales slowly, gaze falling lidded as you sigh into the contact. 

Melting in his hold, relishing in how his desire for you is the first he’s had in so long.

[ashes-in-a-jar]

In my head, you’re a Magnus Archives blog. I mean, I know you obviously listen to other things, but In my mind it’s things like Welcome to Nightvale, Malevolent, Hello from the Hallowoods, The Sheridan Tapes, things like that, horror and supernatural.

So I had to do a double-take when I saw a Dungeons and Daddies post from you, I really didn’t know you listened to it. Then I see you reblog a Fawx and Stallion post, and now I’m just wondering how many podcasts you’ve listened to that I’ve also listened to.

Hahaha yes this blog has been mainly for tma stuff for years now, I still feel like I'm new to the fandom but honestly I've been here through a lot of it since the beginning of season 5

Buuuuut in the past few months I've stopped going into the tma tag regularly and been feeling a little detached from it, at least as opposed to before. My listen to tmagp has been way less interactive and I hardly reblog content anymore (which is something I like doing but because of various bad experiences on the internet recently I have yet to recover from I feel safer posting my own original posts rather than reblogging)

And that freed up a space in my mind to realize I've actually been listening to a lot of podcasts besides tma and it's honestly a shame not to talk about them more with others

I do listen to a lot of horror fantasy supernatural and science fiction podcasts! I also love a lot of dnd and ttrpg podcasts, I also love everything dropout and wish I could get into critical role but it's so big I don't think I'll manage it

I put under the cut a (quite long) list of the podcasts I have listened to and/or have notifications turned on

Anyone following me, you're welcome to send me an ask about one of them if you like them as well or want to hear about them!

I also put a list of podcasts on my to listen to list. Feel free to drop a recommendation for which them to listen to first!

-------------

Podcasts I'm caught up on (the lists are long so it's alphabetical without "the")

Ongoing podcasts

The Amelia project

Ask your father

A voice from darkness

Black box

Brimstone valley mall

Camlann

The cellar letters

Death by dying

Derelict

Eeler's choice

Ethics town

Fawx and stallion

Hello from the Hallowoods

The hundred handed

Levian

Lost terminal

The Magnus protocol

Malevolent

Midnight burger

The mistholme museum of mystery morbidity and mortality

Neon inkwell

New years day

Not quite dead

Old gods of Appalachia

The penumbra podcast

The program

Red valley

The Sheridan Tapes

The silt verses

The sound museum

Super suits

Tell no tales

Tiny terrors

Traveling light

Unseen

The vesta clinic

Victoriocity

The white vault

Completed podcasts

Absolutely no adventures

Archive 81

Borrasca

The bright sessions

Camp here and there

Descendants

Give me away

I am in eskew

Monstrous agonies

Parkdale haunt

The Magnus archives

Re: dracula

The secret of st kilda

Spirit box radio

Steal the stars

Time:bombs

We know none

Wolf 359

Wooden overcoats

Ttrpgs

The adventure zone

Campaign skyjacks

Chapter and multiverse

Dark dice

Dice shame

Dimension 20 (not a podcast but I listen to it like one)

Dungeons and daddies

Not another d&d podcast

Rusty Quill gaming

Worlds beyond number

Podcast on my listen next list:

The Alexandria archives

Alice isn't dead

Ars paradoxica

Believer

The Black tapes

Blackwood

The box

The bridge

Carrier

Counterbalance

The cryptid keeper

Darkest night

The darkroom

The dark tome

The deca tapes

The deep vault

Dreamboy (this one is nsfw so it makes me nervous lol)

Duggan Hill

The earth collective

Either

The far meridian

The fountain road files

The glass canon

Jar of rebuke

Kings fall am (I started but heard not great things about it)

Knifepoint horror

Kollok 1991

Less is morgue

The leviathan chronicles

Liberty

Limetown

The lost cat

Mabel

Maeltopia

Marscorp

Mirrors

Mockery manor

Next stop

The no sleep podcast

The orphans

The Orpheus protocol

Out of place

Paired

Palimpsest

The phone booth

Point mystic

Pseudopod

Rabbits

The right left game

Shadows at the door

Spines

Stellar firma

The storage papers

Stories from among the stars

Super ordinary

Superstition

Tanis

Tides

Unwell

Vast horizon

Victoria's lift

Video palace

Welcome to night Vale (I listen to this one very sporadically lol)

We're alive

Within the wires

Woe begone (I started but got stuck on episode 20ish but want to continue)

Wrong station

Ttrpgs

BomBARDded

Critical role (it's sooo long tho)

Dames and dragons

Dragon friends

Join the party

The lucky die

Queens of adventure

Realms of pearl and glory

Rude tales of magic

Skyjacks courier call

Three black halflings

[blueratgrmln]

The song "Lavender Forever" by Jake Wesley Rogers makes me so happy; it is a beautiful piece by itself that I play on repeat. But of course, I can't shut off my Sonic Nerd brain, and I will always think of connections to Sonic characters in everything I consume daily, especially when a song feels like a character theme. And this song feels very much like a Sonadow song to me. In my head, it paints me a sweet picture of Shadow's perspective about Sonic.

The "Lavender Forever" instrumental is whimsical and calm but also a bit bouncy, which reminds me of Sonic's sunny, chill, and life-loving energy. The fluttery piano melody/runs in the song remind me of the "His World" motif showcased heavily by the strings section in the Sonic 06 soundtrack. Windy, playful, ready for new adventures. Considering these vibes and similarities for the Sonadow theme, I like to think that the "Lavender Forever" instrumental, which heavily clashes with Shadow's canon gritty rock themes, can be a representation that Sonic is on Shadow's mind and he can't shake him out. The following is a little story tidbit that plays in my head when listening to the song:

Shadow secretly admires the fierce ray of sunshine that Sonic is, admitting he can't help but be pulled in by the compassionate yet wild force of nature that he is. While they competitively spar, having differing approaches and different personalities, Shadow allows himself to feel comforted by the curious, sweet and warm acceptance that Sonic radiates just by being himself...which then makes Shadow realize that the missing feeling of wholeness in his life is remedied when Sonic is by his side (IMO could be either platonic, romantic, or QPR vibes depending on how you interpret the term "lover", or if you ignore the word).

Lavender Forever by Jake Wesley Rogers

LYRICS that remind me of Sonadow

(VERSE 1)

Lord of summer

Looking like a stray stream of light

You're my lover

Walk the plank, dragonfly

(PRE-CHORUS)

I was born and bred in flowers

Someone stole my superpowers

Sun-kissed in my darkest hour

I realized I've been

(CHORUS)

Lavender forever, hummingbird weather

Sticky, sticky fingers for life

Lavender forever, kiss it 'til it's better

Sticky, sticky fingers alright

(VERSE 2)

Wild, wild rabbit

Hanging up the linens to dry

Wet the pallet

Dewey like grass in the night

(skipping to the BRIDGE)

I was born a lover

I will die that way

I was born a lover

I will die that way

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

Fic Writer Interview

So I decided to snag this from @sparklepocalypse and fill it out because I'm cozy on my couch on New Year's Eve and fighting off a nap like a grumpy toddler. I'm actually fairly certain I've done this one before, now that I think about it, but oh well. The numbers are different since last time, so...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60, apparently! 61 being posted later today!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

178,579

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ghosts

Do we still have forever

Volume Control

Retaliation

Modification to the map of you

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to each and every comment that I receive. I try very hard to leave a personalized message for each person, but no matter what, even if it's just a "thank you," I will always respond! Even if it takes me some time!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

To this day, the angstiest ending is Darkest before the dawn, which ends with hope, even if it doesn't end with an actual resolution. It's during canon, so the reader know what happens next.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think my most recent Christmas fic, Oh what a laugh it would have been, has probably now overtaken one of my previous fics for overall happiest ending!

7. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but I'm absolutely open to it given the write parameters!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven't yet, and I hope I never do, although I know that the internet can be a wild place.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

If you'd asked me back in July of this year, I would have said that I primarily write fade to black. Since then, I've written ridiculous amounts of smut. I'm still learning about various kinks I'd like to write about, because I don't want to just write without knowledge of the act itself, but I'm wading into the smut-verse now. I'd say the water's up to my knees, at this point. Got a ways to go.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, not that I've been made aware of, but I think it would be so neat.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't but catch me and @thinkof-england cowriting something amazing now that the new year has arrived.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Y'all are gonna need to sit down for this. I don't think you're ready. Deep breath in. Hold it. Now let it out slowly. Calm your mind. Are you ready? Okay because I know this is going to come as a shock to you when I say that it's FirstPrince.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Star Trek fic with Jim Kirk x an OC. I started it back in the spring and then RWRB happened and now it's just languishing away in my docs at just shy of 18,000 words.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that I have realistic dialogue, so I'll count that as a strength. I also think I'm pretty skilled at metaphors. Love a good metaphor.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

The description of surroundings, including clothing and scenery. I feel like I don't do enough of this sometimes, and I'm trying to better at painting a proper picture.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done so! Lots and lots of research and consultation with native speakers to confirm accuracy.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Pirates of the Caribbean, apparently.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

There isn't really one out there. I'm super content with the permanent campsite I've built in FP land. Hopefully I'm allowed to hang out there for quite some time.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

How am I supposed to pick a favorite out over 60 fics?!

I suppose if I absolutely HAD to pick right now, right this second, I'd say Ghosts, because the prompt for it as my first ever reader-submitted prompt on a comment from another fic. The reader enjoyed my fic so much that they asked if I'd write another, and Ghosts it what came of that interaction. I loved writing it and sharing it not just with that reader but with the fandom as a whole.

Gonna post my tag list for anyone who wants to participate!

@adreamareads @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @daisymae-12 @duchessdepolignaca03 @gayrootvegetable @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indomitable-love @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin @leojfitz @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @ninzied @priincebutt @read-and-write- @rockyroadkylers @roseharpermaxwell@ships-to-sail @songliili @ssmtskw @statueinthestonetoo @stereopticons @suseagull04 @thinkof-england @tintagel-or-cockleshells@user-anakin @vanillahigh00 @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew 

[vergeltvng]

Here's a quick addition to this post, just a few thoughts on Kessler. This is my own personal opinion and interpretation, no offense to anyone who has a different take on this matter. The following is also relevant for my writing/rp activities and will be canon in Billy's main verse.

I go along with the idea that Kessler is a sentient symbiote but only to a certain degree and I think this is really important. For me this makes or breaks the whole plotline. Kessler is not a complete separate being or personality, he also doesn't come up with anything Billy haven't thought of before. Kessler is an unhinged and amped up version of Billy without a moral compass, he feeds and draws from what is already there, coming from the darkest and most rotten corners in Butcher's psyche. This would line up with the concept of "all the V does is just amp up all that shit that's already inside". Therefore in my interpretation Billy is not unconcious, blacked out or taken over by Kessler. I will not make him a victim of circumstances or depict him in a way where he cannot be held accountable for his actions. I think this makes his final arc even more tragic. For the love of him as a character, he drives the narrative with his choices and has to deal with all the consequences. He will be at war with himself, he truly is his own worst enemy and being hit on the head with the bitter truth that this thing inside grew from his own mind as a result of his bloodlust and violent desires.

[crisiscutie]

love your headcanons! Would you say Seph nursing in your nsfw darling headcanons is also low-key related to his mommy issues as well?

Thank you! And yes. He remained committed to his idealized vision of motherhood within this verse. Unlike his other connections, who he felt willingly abandoned him, at least his mother "died". She didn't abandon him, because she couldn't. To Sephiroth, they were both robbed of a special connection. As he gained knowledge about motherhood throughout the years, he yearned for a mother's protection and unconditional love. This prompted him to construct his own vision of a perfect mother figure.

Content Warnings: NSFW, Discussions of Sephiroth's mommy issues, Milk/Lactation kink, Pregnant!Darling, and a stupid long essay under the cut.

Now combine what I've said with his devotion to his darling and her pregnancy. She is an expectant mother, carrying his child. With these factors in place, Sephiroth is experiencing a new side of him; a side that is filled with a deep, passionate love and a fierce desire to protect his desire and his devotee. There's also some oedipal tendencies that developed as well. I must mention that I headcanon Sephiroth as a demisexual (demi bi to be exact), meaning his sexual attraction to his partner emerged after they forged a strong, emotional bond with him.

Now, I want to empathize that he initially had no desire to start a family with his darling. Mainly because he had just fled from Shinra and there was just no real inclination within him to reproduce. But in a companion fiction I'm working on, he impregnated her because he was caught in the heat of passion. Why? Sephiroth experienced immense distress from abandoning SOLDIER, his two best friends deserting him and then leaving Zack behind to start a new life. This all took a toll on his mind (as well as his body, it was mentioned he was losing weight because of the crisis with Genesis, and later Angeal). That's not even mentioning the trauma he had previously. "Losing" his mother from his birth, Professor Gast abandoning him out of nowhere, and being a child soldier... Subconsciously, he didn't want to pull away from his darling. He found solace in her presence. He didn't want to lose the last bond he had. His darling convinced him to abandon the last mission and leave SOLDIER right away, so the Nibelheim incident was thankfully prevented. However, Sephiroth's grip on his sanity was still slipping, due to the aforementioned events.

I want to take a moment to think about Sephiroth's mental state in Nibelheim in canon. Sephiroth was fucking resilient. He was still kind and caring to his men, encouraging them to relax and go see their loved ones. He took the time to teach Zack and Tifa about Materia as they traveled to Mt. Nibel. He took the lead and protected everyone as best he could during that same journey. He even showed concern for a grunt experiencing motion sickness. Even with his heart being filled with stress, loneliness, and depression, his capacity for kindness was remarkable!

But when he found out the "truth" about his origins? It's no wonder why he lost his sanity at the Shinra Manor. The amount of mental anguish a human can take is finite. Despite providing so much kindness to others, his darkest moments were filled with little of the same in return. Zack wasn't close enough to him to bring back to the present, to make him recognize what he had... He had no one but Jenova. His "mother". Finding out that your mother didn't die but locked away like some beast will anger anyone, especially someone like Sephiroth. And imagine, these same people who locked up your mother are also the same who used you for their own gain... So with this idealization of motherhood, his distressed state, and knowing of his origins, Sephiroth went down the path of evil...

Back onto his darling's pregnancy: Witnessing his darling's physical and emotional transformation, caused by his seed, has only fueled his idealization of motherhood, as well as his possessive and narcissistic desires. With Darling by his side, he can feel the warmth of the family and mother he'd always wished for.

To explain the milk kink: Sephiroth would probably feel too awkward to ask the Darling for her milk. But each time he gazes at her swollen bosom, his craving for her milk increases. His books on pregnancy first sparked this desire, and ever since then it stayed with him. When the Darling offered him her milk, he eagerly accepted it. He will finally get to enjoy the taste he had been deprived of thanks to his Darling. The nursing handjobs are another amazing aspect of this kink for him. To drink the sweet milk directly from her soft, sensitive teat while she pleasures him is heavenly. With every passing moment, his connection to her grew deeper and more profound.

Though they don't go overboard with the milk kink, since Sephiroth doesn't want to exhaust the darling, being pregnant has its effects on her mood and sex drive, you know.

For a Yandere Sephiroth though, his darling's breast milk is probably an essential part of his diet.

Also, with his Darling now more vulnerable than ever due to carrying his offspring, Sephiroth feels he must do whatever is necessary to protect them both. His darkness would constantly whisper all the terrible things that could happen. Dying in birth like his mother. Or killed by another human... To counteract this, Sephiroth takes control to keep his loved ones from leaving him. The thought of losing his darling fills him with dread.

His dark voice may also tell him to fully unleash his desires onto his Darling, reminding him of the first time he impregnated her. He would probably say stuff like, "There's no need to hold back. She is yours." In a way, Dark Sephiroth technically was the one who impregnated the darling first.

To sum it all up: Yes. Sephiroth's mommy issues are firmly intertwined with his character, and it's something that cannot be overlooked. Thank you for this interesting ask! My apologies for the essay, haha. I've also answered a recent ask about Sephiroth's fear of losing his Darling from birth, like his mother if you are interested. It's pretty relevant to this ask, but it's not showing up in the tags for some reason.

[astrum-aetherium]

HEY GIRLIE LUV UR BLOG was just wonderin what type of modern media (like after the 80s or smth) henry wld like in ur opinion? things like idk music/artists or movies/shows or heck even musicals! ^^

awh, thank you so much!! i'm always heartened greatly to see people finding enjoyment in my blog and my content. i do this for all of us henry-enamored masses, as goddd knows we deserve it. there is such a profound lack of content about him pretty much everywhere.

this is such a thrilling ask to receive! i would love to share my thoughts on that. because i have strong perfectionist tendencies, however, i will deviate from the instructions a little bit and break this down into two sections — a short mention of interests that align with the canonical timeline, and one that attunes to a more modern setting. beware that i'm incredibly biased, but all of these just make sense to me. click on links to hear examples.

so, we know that TSH takes place in the 80s. it's never directly mentioned which year we are actually toying with, but it's sort of generally established in the fandom that the story starts in the late summer/fall of 1983 (richard attending hampden and joining the greek class), and ends in the summer of 1984 (henry doing what he did). therefore, these first few propositions on my end are based on this boundary. not to worry, however — it'll be quite short, as i, as a contemporary member of gen z, have way more things to add to the modern list.

he would be quite fond of classical music, there's no way around it. specifically, and mostly because of donna tartt's own description of him likening an old ballerina, i would even go as far as saying that he prefers ballet. take tchaikovsky as an example — swan lake or the nutcracker as the classics, definitely. i wouldn't even exclude the possibility that he would like to go see performances thereof (aside from reimaginations of ancient greek theater, of course). i'm not exactly well-versed in classical music, but from what i do know, i would also like to add that he could like rachmaninoff, shostakovich, beethoven and bach, of course. chopin, even. and yes, i know, this might be quite boring to uninterested minds — which is why i will be moving on.

to assume a slightly more modernized viewpoint (80s-90s)... he would love depeche mode. specifically their albums some great reward, black celebration, and ultra — the comparably darkest ones. this doesn't quite align with the "canonical" timeline as all of those were released around/after 1984, but i just know he would. specifically the songs but not tonight, only when i lose myself, lie to me, if you want, and (of COURSE) enjoy the silence. just basically depeche mode as a whole — so fitting.

for a more broad approach to slightly older music: tears for fears, the cure, duran duran, billie joel, U2, chris isaak, the smiths.

now, to modern stuff. i have to mention lana del rey. there is no way around her when i talk about henry. ultraviolence and honeymoon are his albums. from UV: specifically shades of cool, black beauty, and the title track itself. from honeymoon: the blackest day, swan song, terrence, and, once again, the title track itself. from other albums, i'd say: if you lie down with me, did you know, NFR, national anthem, and i can fly. a bonus mention of unreleased songs that suit him so well: cult leader, tv in black and white, and serial killer. can you tell i am a diehard lana fan? always have, always will. i could write a novel-length essay about how each song on her discography correlates with henry. i love them both so.

other examples of newer music he would like: mitski (specifically heat lightning and once more to see you, but generally all of them), lorde, mac demarco, local natives, the national, birdy. and — you need to hear me out — some taylor swift songs. i think he would appreciate the poeticism of folklore (e.g. hoax, this is me trying, the lakes) and evermore (cowboy like me, tolerate it). sue me.

when it comes to film and tv... i'd say he would be one of those people who genuinely enjoy silent movies, lol. pretentiously so. to be less humorous, i think he'd quite enjoy complex dramas. the haunting of hill house, maybe. the sixth sense. the shining. the silence of the lambs. hannibal. TROY (although he would complain and complain and complain about the inaccuracy but still like it). a clockwork orange. dexter. evidently, i'm not a huge movie nerd, which is why this might be a little general. but here are just some thoughts.

for musicals, i needed to consult my devoted theater kid friend. to make a long debate short, we agree that it would be the phantom of the opera, les mis, and heathers (for some funny reason). as an explanation on the latter — he would enjoy the hierarchy concept and the dark comedy of it all. but this is just a wild card, lol. the other two are more fitting (specifically the phantom of the opera!).

this took longer than anticipated to compose, but i hope it provides some sort of outlook. thank you, once again, for this wonderful ask! i was overjoyed to say the absolute least.

[rukia-kuchiki-divided]

~Did I flesh out my Human AU Verse for Rukia? Why, yes. Yes I did finally

Anyways, if you want to take a peek, i'll throw it under a readmore. It's also linked on my blog.~

Please note: other characters discussed here can be adjusted to fit threads as necessary

Human Verse - Rukia Kuchiki (Tag: Rukia - Human AU: A Soul Within A Body)

Rukia’s background in this verse is similar to her background in canon. She was raised on the streets since she was a baby, in a very poor area. Her parents abandoned her for unknown reasons. Rukia is still able to recall faint images of their faces but has long since given up finding out why they left or what happened to them. She has had to fend for herself on the streets since the age of 5, often going hungry, feeling extreme weather, and constantly on high alert from other people. She has witnessed the darkest side of humanity at such a young age. She was finally brought to an orphanage at the age of 8 where she met Renji Abaraii (this can be adjusted if needed). Rukia naturally keeps to herself as a loner but developed a friendship with Renji and formed their own makeshift family of sorts while there.

A few years later, Rukia is adopted by the Kuchiki family. They are very wealthy and own several profitable businesses in Japan. The true reason behind adopting Rukia was that they wanted to have both a boy and a girl but were unable to have another child after Byakuya and wanted the social clout of adopting an orphan. Rukia was their ideal choice as she looked similar to their son Byakuya where most would assume they were blood siblings. Since both parents are very busy running their businesses, Rukia is often left in the care of Byakuya, who is several years older than her. Knowing her past, he becomes very protective of her even toward his parents, often shielding her from the more unpleasant social events as Rukia’s reserved nature is an obstacle to climbing the social ladder. 

Due to her past, Rukia also has frequent visits with the family therapist. She has a more reserved personality, not interested in interacting with high society which her parents take as a “shy” personality. In reality, Rukia is just highly selective of her friends and who she lets in her inner circle. With those select few, she allows her true personality to show, often using physical touch such as punching/kicking, etc. The only exception is Byakuya who Rukia respects too highly to interact with in that way.  She suffers from nightmares, CPTSD, anxiety, etc. Though most of the time, she is able to manage this and present herself in a neurotypical way, it will be obvious occasionally depending on the circumstance. 

Rather than taking a ton of medication, Rukia prefers to work on this through a devotion to martial arts. She is an avid student of Karate, Judo, Kyūdō, and kenjutsu. She uses these disciplines to work both her mind and body when feeling out of control and also to ensure that she can protect herself. Her parents disapprove of these ‘hobbies’ as they are not typical for high society women but Byakuya encourages it, also studying these practices himself. 

She is privately tutored in their home until she is ready to attend the same private schools as Byakuya. Depending on the timeline, she also attends the same university. Rukia has always had a love for drawing and decides to pursue a graphic design degree. She hides chappy rabbits in her designs much to the chagrin of her professors and parents. Byakuya, however, loves this and encourages her to continue.

She has a penchant for high spaces, and can frequently be found relaxing in a tall tree with her sketchbook. 

[daystarsearcher]

Thanks for the tag @envexenveritas. Saved it for the weekend when I had a bit more time and brainspace:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

88

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

481,422 (Damn, if I wrote this much on my original fic, I could have a second novel done by now)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Doctor Who/Big Finish and Holby. In the past I've written for Star Trek: the Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space, and I went through an intense Law and Order: Criminal Intent period in college.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The World Has No Place In Our Bed: Doctor Who, Kate/Osgood. You all love a fake marriage fic!

So Then This Happened: Doctor Who, Kate/Osgood PWP. There are things I'd change about the writing in this, but I guess you all like it!

Empty Spaces: Star Trek: the Next Generation, I looked at the whole Lal situation and decided to make it worse. People love being sad about Data, and who am I not to oblige?

Ghosts in the Machine: Doctor Who, TARDIS POV. One of my earliest fics and I still love writing her POV.

I Know My Sister Like I Know My Own Mind: Doctor Who, Kate/Osgood with Bonnie as the wingman. This was a fun one to write that I still have a soft spot for but kind of surprised to see it crack the top 5!

I do think it's very interesting how this differs when compared to comments. There's definitely a bias toward fluff for kudos (even the sad Data story ends on a hopeful note), while I get more comments on angst. (And I tend to get the BEST and most detailed comments on my absolutely unhinged stuff.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! But I try to give it at least a week before I respond. If I respond to one right away, then I'll feel guilty for not responding to others right away, and then it starts to feel like a responsibility rather than a fun interchange of ideas and gratitude, and I don't want it to feel like that! Anyway, that's more info than you needed about my OCD but that is why I take awhile to respond. I do adore comments and often reread them when I am feeling down.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm, I have been trending towards endings with a tinge of hope, so even though Two Birds in A Cage may be my darkest fic overall, I don't think it wins this. In my Osgood Must Suffer verse, Nor Yet Favor to Women of Skill ends in a really dark place with Osgood totally brainwashed, yet the sequel It's True the Girl They Speak of Died sees her reaching for recovery. Similarly, in the Modern U.N.I.T Infernoverse, The Pieces That Get Sacrificed ends on a dark note, but Chess sees the promise of working towards a better self.

I think we have to reach back to some of my earlier, more edgelordy work, like Snuggle for LO:CI, which is just an autopsy of the two main characters, or Goodbye to Ugly Words and Yesterday and Everyone You Knew and Were, which sees Odo losing every bit of his hard-fought individuality and identity. Oh, or Vermin in the Lower Zoo, my AU of an evil First Doctor, that's a pretty dark ending.

Oh, wait, no Plaything, my AU of Pyramids of Sutekh where I slowly strip away everything the Fourth Doctor loves. Oh wait, no, final answer: Careful the Wish You Make: Wishes Are Children, in which I do the same thing to Sarah Jane, but worse.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm, what makes an ending happier, the overall level of happiness or the contrast to the sadness or pain earlier in the story? I think this question is going for the former, so I'll say either Come to Me Softly, Come to Me Sweetly or The Completely True and Canon Story of Oswin Oswald Seduced Jo Grant, or Jo Seduced Her, or Something.

(Or if you want *waggles eyebrows* happy endings, maybe Respectful Discourse on Power Dynamics in the Workplace?)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really! I feel like I've maybe got one or two mean comments on a fic on FF.Net over the years, but nothing memorable. Edit: oh, I remember! One person got sooooo mad at my characterization of Goren and Eames in Give and Take. Sorry, buddy, people are going to have different opinions about characters than you and write porn about it!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Fuck yes I write smut. It's one of the great joys of my life. I write predominantly F/F these days, though I've written quite a bit of of F/M, and a sprinkling of threesomes. I've made liberal use of the BDSM tag, and I like things that play with power dynamics and trust.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

A few! One of my first fics was a cracky crossover, The Good Ship [Name of Ship]. I also did a LO:CI/X-Files crossover so Eames and Scully could have sex. It's not my favorite genre, but I'll do it for humor and/or smut.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of, but it would be a great honor!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, but The Good Ship [Name of Ship] was written with the input of my best friend from high school, and she (with her fanfic author name) and some of her favorite characters do star in it. This is an important developmental stage for teen fic authors and I refuse to be embarrassed about it.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Impossible to choose. But have this handy summation:

Picard/Crusher, Odo/Kira, The Doctor/Sarah Jane, Bernie Wolfe/Serena Campbell: these ships changed me as a person and filled my heart to overflowing with yearning, making me believe in love across time and space and alternate universes

Kate Stewart/Osgood: I want the older authoritative one to top the shy nerdy one. A lot.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am fully committed to eventually finishing every WIP. That said, it has been over a decade since I updated Loyalty's Price and that one has some intense worldbuilding that I would have to recall or rebuild from scratch, so uh, don't hold your breath for any updates soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel good about my ability to replicate character voice and to situate emotions in the body as physical sensations.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My god, the amount of times characters speak hesitantly, as if their words are testing a fragile sheet of ice, or touch each other carefully, as if the other is wet paper that might tear, or a dozen other metaphors that my brain has just decided to go to constantly. You absolutely see this with published authors all the time so I don't feel bad about it, though, just amused at my dramatic-ass self.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not something that's come up a lot for me, but I would treat it the same as using another language in original work--seek out a real human to proofread, offer something in exchange for their time.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

My first fic was a Star Trek: Nemesis fix-it fic written in a spiral notebook in high school.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This changes all the time depending on what mood I'm in, but right now I quite like Chess.

Tagging @ktlsyrtis and @bonnissance if you're up for it!

[cannotflyarc]

panem au.

this is meant to be read as a bulleted list ( yes i know i cannot shut up ), but dumblr wouldn't allow me to make this a list. if you're familiar with the themes of the h.unger g.ames, you'll likely realize this is a very dark au. out of all of my verses, this one is probably my darkest one. themes include child murder, revolution, abuse, prostitution, miscarriage ( in the final paragraph ) and rape. i want this verse to be accessible to everyone so i try to be as vague as possible, but keep in mind these themes are scattered across this post. i do warn for some paragraphs, but i am not perfect and didn't catch everything. i will not give any warnings for murder as that is a central theme in canon. keep in mind, this is a more detailed description of the second way this verse can go. details for both are the same until i mention it differs. this verse is heavily affiliated with @playboths as i developed most of this au with jasmine. keep in mind, i'm always down to plot other things for this verse, just most of the time i will be referencing events in our muses' lives. read at your own discretion.

— j.ohanna barker: the pearl of district four.

johanna is a descendent of the covey that settled in district four. lucy's parents went along with everything peacefully and even started to morph more into panem society, though they raised their daughter in covey traditions and values. that included naming their daughter lucy coral, after the color.

lucy later married benjamin, the victor of the 48th games. their match was an interesting one, but they were young and wanted to be married as soon as possible. lucy gave birth to their daughter, johanna canary a year after their wedding.

turpin was from the capital on special assignment in four. he met lucy and attempted to woo her, failing at every attempt. after she escaped after an attempt to assault her, turpin bribed his friend to make lucy one of the female tributes for the upcoming games: the 50th games. the quarter quell. being the wife of a victor didn't protect her from the reaping.

no one volunteered in her place. at hearing that a member of the covey was in the games again, snow personally came to lucy and warned her to drop the second part of her name and make no mention of her ancestry. the capital adored lucy since her mentor talked her to extort the fact she had a daughter at home to gain sponsorships.

overall, lucy was one of the most favored tributes of the games. however, that couldn't save her from the knife in the throat from the male tribute from one.

benjamin was outraged. he knew the games were rigged and made an open threat on turpin's life. turpin did not take well to this. he sent him to prison on a flimsy charge. he was not made into an avox due to the fact that he would be recognized as a former victor. turpin wanted him locked away. he faked benjamin's suicide.

without a parent, turpin took johanna in. this is where the verse branches into two different directions:

one. turpin takes johanna back to the capital and he is one of the gamemakers. ( there's not much more to it )

two. ( more commonly used ) turpin stays in four under special assignment and johanna is raised in district four.

in the instance johanna in raised in four, she is given a very similar upbringing to her canon. she is privately tutored. she is raised to be very lonely. however, turpin is more brutal and abusive in this verse.

( warnings for rape and abuse ) details will be scarce here, but what he attempted to do to lucy earlier, he succeeds to do multiple times to johanna. panem isn't religious, thus most of the reason why he "held himself back" in canon mixed with the fact he was unsuccessful with lucy is gone. he doesn't care that he hurt a child. because of this, she is even more reclusive than in canon.

however, when johanna is sixteen, she meets a.nthony h.ope, a fisherman. turpin always implied finding her a good, capital match since he wouldn't want his ward to marry district. but that match didn't matter in that moment. anthony delivers goods to the house and johanna uses it as an opportunity to sneak him into his room or talk with him. they fall in love.

but despite her newfound bliss, turpin approaches her one night with filmed evidence of her and anthony. he reminds his ward that he is a very powerful man before leaving. the reaping was the next day.

johanna knew she was never in danger, but it felt worse to hear anthony's name. he rigged it and she knew it the moment his name was read. everyone in the crowd could hear her cry, yet no one volunteered. it was as if they'd been warned not to.

anthony did not survive his games. johanna became a shell of her former self. turpin had made her watch every moment.

two years later when anthony's sister name was read, she didn't hesitate to volunteer as tribute.

she barely heard turpin yelling at her during their minutes together. he did so much to prevent this from happening. how could she? what was wrong with her? ( honestly, johanna wasn't certain if she wanted to live anymore. )

when art donaldson, the son of the mayor and winner of the 65th games informed her that he was anthony's mentor, she clung to him. as they began to get to know each other better, she slowly felt herself falling for him. it terrified her to have a reason to keep living.

johanna proved herself have a good aim, though she also trained herself in the blade. she formed an alliance with her district partner, angler. however, it was her interview that gave her an advance. she charmed the capital, securing her sponsors. that night after punching patrick walters as he claimed art was a prostitute for the capital, donation and donation came through.

the next day, she clung onto art's hand for as long as possible before she was brought to the arena. she didn't expect herself to survive. she thought she would be dead by night. during the bloodbath, she was able to grab a poison dart gun and a water canteen. she and angler took turns guarding themselves. the first gift arrived that night: a loaf of bread she split with angler.

during her games, johanna relied on luck she never had before. she was fast and a good hider. with angler at her side, she didn't have much to worry about. but the career tributes found them one night. angler was killed in his sleep. johanna, ever the light sleeper, woke up and ran off before they could catch her. however, they'd cut half of her braid off. she was completely alone now. hiding in the trees as the other tributes killed each other off. she was able to get a knife out of a corpse which brought her belongings to a small pack, a canteen, a poison dart gun she'd yet to use and a knife.

eventually, she was confronted by the male tribute from district six. he crushed her gun and she only had time to grab a small dart before he backed her into a tree. he pressed his blade against her throat. as she accepted her demise, her hands seemed to work in spite of her numbness and stabbed the boy in the back with the poison. she watched as he slowly perished before taking his belongings and her own and darting into the trees.

she stayed hidden for the rest of the games. not even the cameras could find her. it was a small arena, yet hardly anyone knew that johanna was crying to herself over the loss of her hair in the trees. she was forced out of her tree when another tribute attempted to cut it down for firewood. the fall left her unable to move, but the tribute had pity on her and left without a word. she had helped her earlier in the games to get food. she would die anyway. once johanna was able to force herself into moving, she found another hiding spot. during the final bloodbath, the final two tributes killed each other. everyone held their breath as the second place tribute let out her final breath.

johanna was the victor.

she wasn't able to climb the ladder. they had to swoop in and begin surgery. before they knocked her out, she whispered art's name. the next few days were swirls of confusion. she did not like her nudeness under the hospital sheets nor the band preventing her from sitting up. finally, she was able to leave.

after dressing, she began to look for art. when johanna saw him down the hall, she didn't hesitate before running to him. when he kissed her, she kissed back. she hadn't realized there were cameras on them nor the fact that they weren't together. art was many members of the capitol's favorite pets. she had a guardian waiting at home who would not be happy. her interview wasn't brief on that kiss. the capital was abuzz with speculation.

( warnings for rape ) returning home to confront an incredibly unhappy turpin, he dragged her to her new home in victor's village. johanna hated to lock doors, but she would keep the door to the office forever shut. she didn't want to be reminded of what he did to her in there. after he left, she tried to stop herself from feeling anything. when that didn't work, she went to art's house.

the months between the games and her victory tour were spent mainly with art. nights at his house. days teaching each other things. despite neither of them mentioning what the capital thought they were or the kiss, they were as affectionate as ever. eventually, they confess their feelings for each other and begin what they hope to be a secret relationship.

on her victory tour months later, johanna and art were outed as a couple. still a couple. the news crushed the hearts of some of the capital, but the rest rejoiced over the love story brought together by the games. they attempted to dodge questions as much as they could. it didn't work.

they were secretly married shortly afterwards.

johanna and art mentored the next few year's tributes from district four. she sobbed for days when her tribute was killed.

eventually, turpin returned to the capital but it wasn't long until he missed her. he had snow arrange for her to be brought to the capital, just as what happened with art. at the news, johanna panicked and she and art made arrangements to flee to thirteen.

he would go to make sure it was safe, then come back for her. it was a safe plan. they were supposed to be safe.

( warnings for torture ) when patrick discovered art had gone missing, he reported it to snow. as revenge, johanna was ripped from their home and brought to the capital to be tortured.

( warnings for rape ) she nearly avoided seeing turpin again. she wasn't as lucky as she was in the arena.

( warning for torture ) they rebroke her back. they drew new scars all over her body. she knew who was behind it. she knew they were filming her to send a message to art.

eventually, art was able to break in to save her. he had a small team with him. one member known as the surname, "todd" couldn't be found during her rescue. when they got to the ship, he came back covered in blood and refused to elaborate. johanna barely noticed him between trying to clutch onto art and the med team attempting to help her.

she woke up in the med wing in district thirteen. there was no band holding her back. johanna tore off her ivs and needles and ran to find art. during her recovery, she would often sneak out to sleep in an actual bed with her husband. she did eventually recover, though her progress was slowed down by her rebellious nature.

johanna learned who the todd figure was from art. her father. utterly betrayed by his decision to assassinate turpin instead of rescue his daughter, she refused to speak to him.

while in district thirteen, lucy gray helped johanna discover that she is a descendant of covey. the two bonded over this, becoming good friends.

she later finds out her full name is johanna canary. she begins to go by both.

during the rebellion, she assisted with the injured and the homeless. while art was helping with the attacks on the capital, johanna could only hope he would make it back alive.

she is one of the other nurses, along with prim, that were rushing to help citizens in the capitol. todd knew about the bomb and he snuck into a vehicle, not hers. he wasn't able to warn her. he pushed her out of the way so she wasn't harmed. when she was able to sit up, she watched her father die, unable to do anything to save him.

people called todd a hero for saving his daughter's life. they talked about how much he must have loved his daughter for sacrificing his life for her.

johanna had a different interpretation. clearly, he knew about the bombing. he did it to lead himself to his own death. he didn't have any point in living anymore. he hadn't sacrificed himself. he was selfish.

( he had learned lucy wasn't dead after all. the capital mistook her for being dead and the capital doesn't make mistakes. upon realizing she was barely alive, they worked to save her life. lucy was used to assist the gamekeepers, as a prostitute under a different name and experimented on. even as she slowly went insane. she perished, but if todd had only went in to rescue johanna, he would have been able to save his beloved wife, as well. he couldn't live knowing he was the reason his wife died. )

johanna is kept in some sort of medical wing/hospital. her burns slowly heal and she trims her burnt hair herself.

art leans he had a daughter from one of his capitol "clients." they eagerly take lily in and johanna considers her to be her own daughter.

they move back to district four where mrs. everdeen set up a hospital. johanna continues her work as a nurse there.

a few years later, she finds out she's pregnant. they found out it was a boy before she miscarried.

a few years later, canary violet is born and named after covey tradition. mavis indigo joins their family a little while later, too.

[gospi]

Malec Secret Santa is revealed so I can finally share this one with you!❤️

It's written for @rinledraws

It's the darkest thing I've written so far: a canon verse, soul mate AU with self-sacrificing idiots in it.

Happy reading!

---

Soul Deep

"And then I'll meet my soulmate and we'll make history," the young recruit says dreamily.

Another young recruit makes a cooing noise and Alec does not even try to hide his eye roll as he overhears them walking past them. So young, so naive. The entire Institute is buzzing with excitement, love is in the air after all, and every god forsaken time they had a wedding at the Institute, people get all riled up about soulmates. Nevermind if the wedded couple actually are or not.

Alec is only twenty-four, but he knows better than to dream. Soulmates are rarer than Shadowhunters turning 60, in fact, no soulbonds had been formed this century. It was ludicrous to even entertain the idea that one would have a soulmate.

With a sigh, Alec drops the thought. He's got other things on his mind, and the wedding the New York Institute is hosting is not only a nuisance, but also, according to Alec, completely inappropriate given what's going on in the city. Alec had tried to argue, but he hadn't stood a chance against the Inquisitor this time.

"If you don't stop frowning like that, it will stick. And all your potential suitors in there will be sooo disappointed to have such a pretty face ruined."

Alec huffs as he slowly turns around. That voice is one he would recognize even in his sleep. For many reasons.

"What are you doing here?" Alec glares at the other man.

"Oh, haven't you heard? There's a wedding going on." The man's golden eyes sparkle with mirth. "And here I thought the Head of the Institute was competent and wise."

Alec rolls his eyes. "That wasn't really an answer to my question, you know."

Magnus sighs dramatically and tuts. "I'm here as the warlock representative for the Downworld Council."

Ah, of course.

Alec does know that, but with everything going on, it slipped his mind that every faction of the Downworld Council has a standing invitation to every event at the Institute. It was his own initiative, and something he had fought hard to get the Clave to agree upon.

"Right, of course. I'm sorry. It slipped my mind, with everything going on and all. So please, don't let me keep you."

The warlock's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but much to Alec's delight he doesn't comment on it. "Well, I guess I see you in there, Alexander," he winks and walks past Alec, brushing his shoulder as he does. Alec ignores the tingling feeling the touch leaves on his skin.

Alec turns around, his gaze following the warlock's retreating figure. They had known each other for little over two years, and many days Magnus Bane, with his teasing, flirting and borderline inappropriate comments, is an ass. Alec's eyes drop, and something stirs inside him. It's too bad the ass is such a glorious view.

Continue reading here on Ao3

[iccarian]

HOPE MIKAELSON'S VERSES:

for the most part, i adhere to the canon of the originals storyline throughout seasons 1-5. hope's circumstances in being born, her encounters with the hollow, greta sienna's group, the drama and conflict with her family, etc. however, the longer legacies went on, the more i really disliked how they continued her storyline and the overarching lore of the universe. so! let's get into it. ( NOTE: i am always, always open to au's that involve hope's parents being alive and the like. i am not strict in terms of canon. )

salvatore school: hope still attended the boarding school after the hollow was destroyed for good, fulfilling her promise to her father . . . and, initially, distancing herself from the home and family she was struggling to stomach looking at with the guilt lodged in her throat. she did have trouble with her temper, her powers, and overall acceptance of herself with the judgement of some of her peers -- but it was her friends ( the saltzman twins, eventually, raf, etc ) and her remaining family that helped her through it. she was never close to alaric aside from a stiff mentor-mentee relationship due to his distrust of her family ties, and control of her abilities. i refuse to believe that her aunts & uncles would have just left her hanging after everything, even if she tried to push them away. there was no malivore or monsters. i don't mind acknowledging that other supernatural creatures exist within the same universe, especially from other cultures & lore, but the whole malivore & triad thing never really stuck with me. most of the dangers hope dealt with had to do with remaining enemies of her family, people desperate for her power, so on and so forth. ( such as the crazy ex stuck in a sleeping spell in the basement of the abattoir, hey! )

post series: i have two possible routes with this, where hope could go after graduation. one being an entirely domestic, normalish sort of verse where she gets to explore the peace she deserves; she resides mostly in new orleans, witching with freya, attending college for art, and sometimes traveling to see places in the world her father had always talked about. another...involves her activating her vampirism.

fully activated tribrid: in one way or another, hope is always fated to awaken the darkest side of herself, whether it's a self sacrificing choice or an accident, a run in the woods where werewolf hunters reside with poison-tipped arrows, a hand in hers as her heart stops so that she'll have the strength to face another threat. this brings her a heavier guilt and self-disgust than ever before, the initial struggle with her hunger, the similarity she sees in her own eyes to those of her father's. ( she loved him, she loved him, she loves him, but she never wanted to be him. ) eternally 19, eternally cursed. a possibility exists wherein she flips her humanity switch by accident ( she's so used to locking her grief away, she never had the opportunity to turn it off completely before ), and raises terror until her loved ones inevitably pull her back. a possible route from this verse extends to her forging a true alliance between the factions in new orleans, inviting vampires back in the right way and ensuring no one oversteps their bounds. after all, her mother used to say she might be the only one who could do it: the only one to understand all three of them. and she is her father's heir, though never had a personal interest in reigning. just...overseeing.

au verses: tba!

[wxrshipnpoison-blog]

“I am not worthy of being defended by you, my goddess.” Confused scorpion Faunus noises. He mutters those words under his breath, clearly not very happy about the fact that he managed to put his beloved idol in conflict with someone by....seemingly just existing. 

[falseleadered]

verse:  I HUNGER FOR THE VERTIGO timeline: any canon divergence thing during the lost boys movie open to: any lost boys muse or muse with a lost boys verse

consider this a PERMANENT starter call for this verse.

[angelsdean]

✨angelsdean’s recent reads: JULY ‘22✨

So, I read a lot of fic. And I’ve been wanting to make rec lists but a problem with reading a lot of fic is that after a while I tend to forget what happened and fics blend together in my mind RIP. But I want to start at least rec’ing my “recent reads” so that’s what this is: stuff I’ve read throughout this month. Okay, let's do this! Divided into two sections, canon-verse and AUs, and listed by word count. 

💥Canon-verse fics💥

About Five Times The Distance by KelpietheThundergod [ 70k, rated E ] - It's been months since Michael unexpectedly let Dean go, but he's still dealing with the mental and physical repercussions, some of which have turned out to be permanent. This case fic follows Dean and Cas as they develop their relationship and establish intimacy. Dean is so clingy. I cried a lot.  

Darkest Roads verse by chaoticdean [ 63k, rated E ] - Dean and Cas go undercover as a couple going through therapy, in order to catch a monster that specifically targets couples dealing with issues, feeding on their distress, anger, and pain. Feelings left untold come to the surface, as they do. 

It's safe to sleep inside his skin by kathscradle [ 13k, rated E ] - Dean just really wants to get inside Cas, like burrow under his ribs and make a home there. Close is never close enough, etc, etc. 

The Council Of Charlie Bradbury by FallenAngelOfThursday [ 13k, rated T ] - Cas is back from the Empty, and Dean is struggling to accept that there's finally peace in the world. watching the camera footage of the dungeon scene on repeat probably isn't helping. Cas gives Dean space to heal, but is lonely. Sam decides to bring Charlie in to help these two finally get together. 

a sparrow with broken wings by Anonymous [ 11k, rated T ] - Cas dies, and Dean stops eating, and he keeps on dreaming. Dean’s grief over Cas’s death manifests as a severe eating disorder. It’s heavy but it ends happy. 

the motions by fidgetygirl [ 5k, rated M ] - The bunker has a christmas party. Sam gets dunked on. Dean tries to stay sober and just breathe.

take a sad song by foolondahill17 [ 4k, rated M ] - stanford era dean gets an abortion fic! it’s purely a coincidence that both me and @foolondahill17 were both thinking of this concept at the exact same time but it really did feel like this was dropped right out of my brain. 

the boy without a home by FallenAngelOfThursday [ 3k, rated M ] - A short dean studies on identity and his quest to feel like he belongs. 

3 hr 33 min (221 miles) by NightChanghes [ 3k, rated G ] - A little over a year ago, the Empty took Castiel. Nearly 5 months ago, it spit him back out. Dean is still mourning.

Chasing Feathers by junkyardheart [ 2k, rated G ] - The missing scene from Faith 1x12. Dean learns that he's dying, and ruminates on life, death and everything he wishes he had the time to fix. Faith!dean feels. Dying boy I love youu!

million reasons by casdoms [ 2k, rated M ] - oh dean’s mommy issues<3 anyway, set in s12, Dean’s feeling a lot about Mary coming back, and Cas comforts him. 

Time for a gay wedding by fellshish [ 2k, rated M ] - thee 30k dean fic ! Is Cas gay? Clearly there’s only one way to find out. Dean proposes. Truly chaotic dean energy that only @fellshish can capture.  

Sex Should Be Fun by things_renew_themselves [ 2k, rated M ] - Castiel and Dean speak about April and Castiel's sexual encounter. Years later, they speak about having sex with each other. 

hug-o-meter by Emeraldcas [ 1k, rated G ] - Dean wants to hug Cas because of course he does, so maybe he'll just ask him and see what happens.

until my darkness goes by CherryBlossomSprings [ 1k, rated G ] - Dean has been sober before. He was clean for a whole year in purgatory. Not that he had that much choice, liquor is unsurprisingly hard to come by in monster heaven. And he managed a few weeks when The Mark was at its worst. He can do it again. No, he has to do it again.

A Cat in Hell’s Chance by thesebrokenwings [ 1k, rated T ] - Dean adopts a cat and Cas has a hard time adjusting. Fellas, are you ever jealous of the cat?!  

💫AU fics 💫

Meathead by ValandraWrites [ 92k, rated E ] - Professor Cas and body-builder Dean meet at a gym. Dating and BDSM shenanigans ensue. **There’s one kink in the tags that might scare some off, it almost did for me but, it’s only in one scene and very minor. The story overall is really good.  

sons and daughters by foolondahill17 [ 77k, rated M ] - the sequel to Silver Linings, so you’ll have to read that first. Silver Linings follows a year in the life of Dean Winchester. Dean’s bi: sexual and polar. He’s got a string of hospitalizations under his belt. He’s a felon. He’s got a secret. 

A Judicious Application of Free Will by Annie D [ 57k, rated E ] - Dean lives the simple life in Lawrence, running the family business at Winchester Hardware. When Castiel moves into the neighborhood, they strike up a friendship that has the chance to become something more. But before that can run its course, the secrets of Castiel’s past catch up with them both, and their whole world changes. Truly a wild ride! 

put your money where your mouth is 'verse by kototyph [ 56k, rated E ] - A modern AU featuring Vegas, coconut bras, airplanes, Boston, cupcakes, prasinophobia, baseball, kittens, nor'easters, and men expressing deep emotion (in that order). Basically they get accidentally married, then fall in love. 

On Air by wincechesters [ 21k, rated E ] - Cas and Dean are radio DJs and best friends who own a house together but are totally just friends. But for some reason, a lot of their listeners and even some of their friends and family seem to think that they’re secretly in some kind of relationship. Which is ridiculous. Until an ill-fated on air game of Truth or Dare turns everything upside down. Literally idiots in love. 

Are @impala67 and @angelbeekeeper dating? by angelcaswinchester [ 3k, rated T ] - Mid-30s, single, with an obsession with vintage cars and cooking in his spare time, Dean wasn't prepared for anything to come out of signing up for a Tumblr account. But then Dean finds the blog @angelbeekeeper and maybe he develops a little crush on the blogger, Castiel. But there's no way Castiel would notice him, right?

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

Doe isn’t easy to manipulate, per se; she’s a liar and a manipulator, and more than that, she is always more than a little wary. Yet, she’s still a person, a person with holes in her heart and chinks in the armour, and I feel like people could latch on to those weaknesses. Now, there are several ways that line could go, but for the sake of the Darkest Plotline TM, we’re not going down the murder line yet. It would be too easy, and I aim to throw Doe like a milk-soaked webkinz against the wall. I want that loud SLAP!

So, for the Darkest Timeline TM, I need to dredge out the Doe lore and her Amnesia. Now, Doe doesn’t have Amnesia in EVERY verse; this is relegated exclusively to the storylines where Doe ends up dying from the injuries inflicted in her canon timeline: blunt force trauma to the left side of her face, causing a subdermal hematoma and, well, brain injury beyond repair. Even in death, the damage was done, and Doe, well, let’s say her afterlife would have been unrecognizable compared to how she had lived. Not worse, mind you; it’s debatable, just different, incredibly different, with far, far different struggles to face.

ANYWHO, so Doe has Amnesia. More than that, she has next to no knowledge about herself other than what others have pointed out (her Canadian accent) or what she has physically noticed about herself and her comforts. Now, usually, this isn’t a point of weakness for Doe. By and large, she embraces it. She is who she is. Call her whatever name you’d like: Freckles, Blue Jeans, That Girl or Doe. Doe is simply Doe; as much as old memories would be nice, she doesn’t NEED them to define her. She has her drive, her fight, and, of course, the fear of death. Does she need much more? Well, as it turns out, while she doesn’t NEED it, she WANTS it. Doe doesn’t usually have time to question it much, especially in more stressful verses (Dead By Daylight) but she has questions that she knows won’t have clear, clean answers to. She wants to know about the fragments that get jostled loose every now and again. She wants to know those people. Why do some bring out such fear? Why does a memory that should seem happy feel so... forboding.

WHICH LEADS ME TO THE PLOT: People can leverage her Amnesia and lack of concrete memories/understanding of the slivers she has to give her false hope and get easy sway into her circle.

For what purpose? You tell me! But it’s an easy in, an open area left unguarded, or at least less guarded than the rest.

I don’t think Doe could ever bring herself to one hundred percent believe any stories about a potential past she might’ve had based on the words of another, or any past she might’ve shared with them, BUT she wants to hold onto it, onto that plausibly deniable hope, cause it’s better than nothing. It’s answers, fake answers maybe, but it’s better than not knowing and it’s better than the dark, ugly picture that’s being painted in her mind with each small things that’s wiggled out with another smack.

It would bring her a lot of comfort, maybe even joy, if only for the sense of ‘not all is lost’ and to take that then away

Doe lying to herself and goes with the false narrative, trying to will the truth into the nicer narrative that she wants to be until even the legitimate memory shards that emerge come with a kind of nagging, existential doubt and anger because they DON’T FOLLOW THE STORY SHES BEING FED AND WANTS TO FOLLOW

Maybe Doe doesn’t want to be an abused, paranoid, mentally ill runaway who was murdered by a stalker just when it felt like she was making it to an exit. Maybe she wants to believe when told she was loved and missed. Maybe she wants to think that over the truth even though everything in her mind is trying to stop her from playing into that. Poking holes with everything she knows. But then again— the other part of her mind argues. Does it really matter? Does it hurt her? Really?

She’s in this cycle of torment and anger going nowhere because she knows it’s all fake; she knows it’s a belief, but why can’t she just pretend? She wants to lean into the delusion of it all. Maybe she is a scholarship, legislation kid. Maybe her disappearance and death changed the world, maybe hundreds of people know her and feel for her, maybe she’s missed, maybe there’s a spot left that’ll never be filled. Maybe there is meaning and poignancy to it, to be someone loved and gone before her time. But Doe knows the truth: her death didn’t mean anything, she didn’t stop anything, and she didn’t help anyone. She’s selfish and cowardly; she’s a snake, and like a snake, she died in that forest, and the world didn’t notice. It’s no one else’s fault; no one is to blame but her. But she wants to pretend this truth is a ‘maybe’, not a reality.

*Doe only has Amnesia in verses where her death is a major plot point and her superhero verse (where she hasn't died, but she really should have), there is only one death verse where she doesn't suffer from Amnesia in some respect and that's her Lost Boys Verse, where she died from Mapplethorpe thorpin' all up on her shit ASDASJD

OHHH HAD THE DARKEST PLOT LINE. Y’all hear me out