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make-me-imagine · 4 years ago

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Mystery Prompts: Category 1: 23, M. Category 2: D, 98. Fandom: X-men. Character: Wolverine. Prompt List D. Sensory Prompt: ‘Warm water rushing over your body’. (Did not use genre pick for this one).

Premise: After a rather intense and exhausting day, the reader opens up to Logan a little bit, before breaking down when alone. The next day, he finally admits why he cares so much.

Requested by: @destynelseclipsa (this was the first option you sent in)

Pairing: Logan/Wolverine x Gen!Neutral Reader

Triggers: Very brief mentions of fighting, as well as mentions of emotional exhaustion, and hatred (towards mutants in this case), and crying. (I swear it has a happy ending)

Words: 2.5k

Marvel Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney, @thebookbakery, @groovyfluxie, @marvelouslyme96, @supersourlemon13

Note: This started out as a simple short oneshot and then it just kept going lmao

You sighed as you finally walked back into the mansion, slightly slumped over in exhaustion as you dragged your feet underneath you. Professor X, Scott, and Jean in front of you, Storm and Logan on either side of you. They all got off pretty easily, being able to fight at a distance, besides Logan, who just healed quickly no matter what happened, but you could tell he was pretty tired as well.

Your mutations were rather simple, heightened senses, strength and agility and you could emit a form of energetic pulse from your hands when in contact with something or someone. You had to fight in close combat, so you got a lot of the brunt force of the enemies you had fought. A group of anti-mutant terrorists who would hunt your kind down. There was a higher power behind them, and none of you knew who it was.

Entering into the main room of the mansion, the others all followed Professor X into his office, you turned to do the same, but stopped when you heard his voice in your head.

“Go relax Y/n, I know you are quite exhausted after what happened, there is no need for you to stay up any longer.”

You must be exhausted if you had let down your guard, your strong mental wall collapsed enough for him to so easily connect with you. Giving him a silent thank you, you turned and headed for the stairs, feeling a presence behind you, you looked back to see Logan following close.

“Did he send you to bed like a child as well?” you asked. There was no malicious intention in your voice, but the Professor had a knack at treating you like one of his students, not that you minded in most cases.

He smiled “Not in so many words.”

You continued up the stairs, highly aware of his eyes burning into the back of your head. As you made it to your floor, you continued toward your room before you stopped and turned around. Seeing Logan still behind you.

“Is there a reason you’re following me to my room?” you asked with a questionable gaze at him.

“The professor didn’t send me to bed so much as he sent me to check on you.”

You let out a soft laugh before turning back to your room and going inside, Logan entering after you.

During the fight, there was a particularly hostile man, who seemed to be in charge. He cornered you in a room and used some fairly violent anti-mutant weapons they had apparently developed. It took a lot of your strength but you were able to fight him off. But more than that, it was also exhausting on your emotions. You were also an empath. You could feel his pure rage and hatred for you, it was too strong to ignore. Once you got away from him, the Professor must have sensed the stress on you. It was rare that you felt someone with so strong of emotions, especially such violent ones.

“Why did he send you?” you asked as you sat on the edge of your bed, slipping off your shoes before peering up at him, as he leaned against the wall, watching you closely.

He stared at you for a second, as if he was debating something before he shrugged “Who knows?” you couldn’t ignore the pang of disappointment as he said this “So, tell me, why’s the professor so concerned?”

You sighed as you stared down at the floor, your emotions returning as you thought of what happened, the mans taunting words and harsh emotions flowing through you again.

“You don’t deserve to exist in this world. You’re a monster, and monsters needs to be destroyed.”

Logan straightened up slightly “What?”

“That’s what the man said” you said as you stood up “And, I’ve....never, felt that sort of intense hatred from one single person before. With other people, non-mutants, I’ve felt fear, confusion, pity, excitement, and hate, but not that...pure. And as an empath, it’s exhausting” you finished simply before adding “I’m sure the professor could feel it, that’s why he wanted you to check on me.” you began to walk past him “You can tell him I’ll be fine, I’m going to take a shower. Goodnight Logan.” you said before walking into your bathroom and closing the door.

You leaned against the bathroom door, a few moments passed and your heart was pounding as you felt Logan’s presence on the other side of the door, before you heard him step away and leave your room. You let out a sigh as you undressed and got into the shower. As the warm water rushed over your body, you felt your body relax under the heat as you stood still, drenching yourself. You stared down at the shower drain as you saw dirt and grime wash off your body. Your mind played back on the man again.

Why does he hate us so much? Did a mutant hurt him in the past? Something had to happened to make him feel such pure hatred. Or is it just natural? Can someone be born with that much hate in them?

In some sense you wanted to understand, but, at the same time you didn’t. If you understood, then you might be able to feel that kind of hatred. And you never want to hate someone that much. But it wasn’t just hatred. It was disgust.

Your mind wandered to Logan. Why would the Professor send him? Did he know how you felt toward Logan? Did he think you would open up to him, more than the others.

Logan had been at the school for a few years now, and you got along well enough, but hardly spent a lot of time alone. But you couldn’t help but admire his strength, his instincts, and though he tries to hide it, his kindness. But he loves Jean. There was a time, when you could no longer handle not knowing, so you used your power on him, and felt a strong emotion of love. And when you felt it emanating off of him, it was when he was looking at her. That should have been enough to stop you from feeling something, but it didn’t. But you did stop using your powers around him. You didn’t want to feel that sort of overwhelming disappointment again.

Being reminded of that pain, and that love he felt for someone else, and then the hatred and disgust you felt today aimed at you and your kind. You thoughts going back to the hatred of others you’ve endured for years. You couldn’t help the sob that suddenly escaped your mouth as you brought your hand to your mouth. You tried to shut off the emotions, turn them off, but you were so exhausted, losing control of your powers. So as the tears came, you let the warm water wash them away.

- - -

The next morning as you walked down the stairs, kids running around the mansion to get to their first classes, you felt slightly sore, but otherwise alright. Approaching the Professors office, you knocked as you walked in, the door already open.

The Professor looked up at you with a smile “Good morning Y/n, how are you feeling today?”

You closed the door behind you before approaching his desk “Better.” you said with a soft smile “But I had a question.”

“What would that be?”

“Why did you send Logan to check on me?”

The Professor stared at your for a moment, and you could tell he was repressing a smile “I did not send Logan.”

You stared at him for a moment “Then why did he follow me to my room last night, and say that you did?”

“Well. I would suppose, to save himself from the embarrassment he might feel if you knew he wanted to check on you of his own will.”

“Why would he be embarrassed, we’re friends, he could have just asked.” you said, still not understanding.

The Professor shrugged his shoulders before he smiled “Perhaps that is a question you should ask him.”

After leaving his office, you continued on with your day, not seeing Logan at all except in passing. You weren’t sure why, but you had avoided him throughout the day. Maybe because you wanted to avoid a conversation that would include “You’re my friend and I wanted to see if you were alright”, because, though you were happy being friends with him, you couldn’t help but want more.

You sat on a bench in the garden, the kids all inside for the evening. You stared at the leaves blowing the trees, lost in thought.

“Hey.” a voice said suddenly, as a hand was placed on your shoulder.

You gasped and jumped at the sudden intrusion before looking back at who it was, seeing Logan looking at your with a look of confusion and amusement. “Logan” you breathed out before shaking your head at your own reaction.

“I was calling your name but you didn’t hear me” he said as he rounded the bench and sat next to you.

“Sorry, just distracted.” you said plainly, ignoring the heavy beating of your heart as you wondered why he was sitting so close.

“How are you feeling today?”

You eyed him “Did the Professor send you again?” you asked, a hint of sarcasm in your voice.

He met your eyes for a moment before turning away “No. And-” he cleared his throat “He didn’t send me last night either. “

“I know.” you said simply as his head snapped back in your direction.

“You know?”

You nodded “I talked to the professor this morning.”

“Ah” he said simply “So? Are you going to answer my question?” he asked, changing the subject.

You smiles softly “I’m alright Logan.”

He stared at you, you were smiling, and your voice was so soft, but, there was hardly any emotion in your eyes. The familiar brightness that usually shone in your eyes was faded. You were always full of so much emotion.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

You realized how serious he looked. Was he worried? You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it shortly after, looking straight ahead again “I’m okay.” you said, as if trying to convince yourself “Just tired. Sometimes feeling everything all the time is exhausting to the point where, there is a short time where I don’t feel much of anything at all.” you admitted, you turned to look at him again and smiled “It’ll pass, it always does.”

He stared at your for a moment “I hope so. I hate seeing you suffering more than others. You don’t deserve it.”

“Are you saying that others deserve it?” you countered.

He smiled “No. I would just prefer if it wasn’t you. You take on more than others without trying.”

“You’re kind Logan” you said, “Even if you pretend you’re not.”

He let out a soft laugh as he shook his head “Only to you.”

“And to Jean” you hesitated for a second “And Storm” you quickly added on, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“Well, I like them. But, I’m nice to them, not kind. You’re the one who insists there is a difference between them.”

“You’re kind to Jean” you finally said, tired of him refusing to admit his feelings, you looked at him “I know how you feel about her.”

Logan stared at you, his brow furrowed as you continued “I don’t feel anything for her.”

You scoffed “Of please Logan, I felt it. I get why you deny it, I mean she’s with Scott, but, you...can tell me, I don’t mind. It’s hard to keep that kind of thing to yourself.”

“What exactly did you feel?”

You met his eyes, your heart beating quickly, as the reminder of the pain and disappointment you felt showed itself again “Love. When you looked at her.”

He sat forward with a sight “When did you feel it?”

“It was a while ago, maybe a year or so I guess.”

He laughed “Do it again.”

“What?”

“Use your power. Feel what I’m feeling now.”

“That- that, won’t work, she’s not here, so if you’re trying to prove something-.”

“Just do it.”

You stared at him for a moment, seeing how seriously he looked. You let out a breath as you relaxed and expanded your power encasing him as you felt his emotion. He was feeling, nervous, but calm at the same time, a hint of what you recognize as fondness, but there was something deeper, something he was repressing, it was strong.

“You feel that?”

“I don’t feel anything, not really, not on the surface at least..”

“Exactly. I’m thinking about Jean right now.” He leaned forward a bit as he stared into your eyes “Now what do you feel.”

As he stared at you, you felt his emotions change rapidly, as that deep emotion became obvious. He was more nervous, almost scared, a bit excited, but the main emotion you could feel pulsing from him was familiar, the same emotion you felt before, when he was looking at her. But it seemed stronger this time. More prominent.

“Love.” you said quietly.

A small smile formed on his face “That’s because I’m thinking of you.”

Your heart seemed to stop for a moment in your chest as you looked at him “I came to check on you last night because I could tell you were hurting. I wanted to stay, to, help you, but you didn’t want me too. And now I get that it’s because you thought I loved Jean. And I did. But not for a long time. Not since I got to know you. You are the one person I care most about in this place, and the last person I want to see hurting. “

As you stared at him, still feeling the heavy emotions coming from him, now pairing with your own, you felt a tear escape the side of your eye. Logan, seeing it, smiled lightly. He knew what using your powers could do, it made you feel everything so strongly, and he had known that you felt something for him for a while.

Reaching out, he wiped the tear away with his thumb, then placed his hand across your cheek “You can turn it off now.”

You stared at him for a second, taking in the gentleness of his touch, and the way he was staring at you “I don’t want to.” you said quietly, almost in a whisper.

He smiled at you “Alright” he said before he leaned forward, bringing you into a deep kiss. For a second, you felt a strong burst of emotion from the both of you, before it was silenced, your power turned off as you relaxed and melted into the kiss.

As the strong emotions faded away, Logan pulled away from you as he looked into your eyes “That feeling won’t go away if you stop searching for it, it won’t fade, I promise.”

Unsure of what to say, you simply smiled at him, and his heart seemed to swell as he could once again see the bright emotion in your eyes again, no longer hidden behind a vale of exhaustion and pain as he leaned in for another kiss. The second of many more.

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little-precious-baby · 4 years ago

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This 2020...

First of all, I know most of the people did this many days ago but I thought today was like the best for me to say goodbye to this year.

Not to mention that this year has been very difficult, not only for me but for everyone. A pandemic that brought us many changes of which many are not yet comfortable and is understandable. In my case, in this year I have been able to understand many things, I have suffered and had to face other problems, and of course, I enjoyed important moments with my friends and family. My first decision this year I remember was cutting off my bangs without my parents' permission. I was scolded for weeks, even months and yes, I accept that seeing that picture from the first day of the school year is going to haunt me for a long time but I don't regret what I did. Is not a secret that for many of my irl friends, I'm like a little child that needs attention because if you give me your back, probably I'll be cutting my hair or even doing something worse.

As for emotional and friendship issues... I have to admit that I broke friendships in a non-gentle way, there were also discussions over totally stupid topics and not to mention love issues that simply ended up being a failure—a waste of time, to be honest.

While it hasn't been such an easy year, there's something I still don't even regret doing: coming here to Tumblr. My previous account has many years to created here —probably in 2017— however, at that time I didn't try to search much as I got to do this year and I'm glad I did because I met great people. Sadly I doubt at some point to meet you in person, but I hope you keep in mind that you make my days happier with your comments or just being you. I hope our friendship continues and that you all don't get sick of me so easily. Also, I wish you all the best as I know each of you is talented and has the ability to succeed in your lives. <3

Uh, the paragraphs 👉🏼👈🏼

Also I want you to know that this isn't in an specific order and that I hope you don't feel bad with my words.

💙 - @latte-fairytaekwoon

How can I start this without you rejecting my love? <3 You were one of the first people I decided to approach. I remember reading one or two of your works and just thinking "Wow, she writes very well... I'm going to follow her; it's going to be fun and interesting." I was planning not to talk to you at the beginning, to be honest. My end in mind was just to read what you updated and since you were the third account with content I had decided to follow, I thought it was a good plan. But one thing led to another and I decided to talk to you —which you probably regret since I bother you a lot lmao— and yeah, that's how we met and still talk to each other. I also need to mention that whenever I tried to talk to you about my problems or things that overwhelmed me, you always knew what to say to me even if that included to scold me. You always made me come to my senses. Many times I mentioned to you that you were like a mother to me as you "gave me those vibes" but how can you not? While you don't usually show so much affection through direct words of "I love you" "I care you," I feel them when you advise me. It's going to sound too idk, but I really don't regret to met you, Kitty. This looks like a bible and words repeating over and over again but how to show you that I appreciate, admire and love you if I always try to let you know? At this point if you still think I don't care of you, you are dumb 💖 By the way, it's worth mentioning that you and I have a long path together and you'll continue to be attacked with my love, support and jokes. I love you, mom 😗💙

💖 @winterviolet1

To be honest, I feel bad for not remembering how we started talking... I don't remember if I followed you first or if it was the other way around but hey, let's look on the bright side, it was fun to have met you and come together to always annoy Sofie with Hongjoong gifs <3 I hope we can still be little demons together and please, PLEASE, stop killing me 💀 I love when you send me gifs of Jongho because wow, that boy is definitely a daddy and more when he dances —I refuse to deviate from the subject but he jdudbd— but yeah, he kills me even when he just smiles. My point is that when I see those gifs, I went into a state where my mind goes to places that is better not to mention and I blush because yeah, we talk about my bias isbdkddj and I also frustrate because I find myself unable to return the same treatment to you dkdnskd. Ps: Let me know when we'll be demons again <3

💖 @teeztheflag

Your reactions are idejdindd art I feel shy as I know I never got to create a bond big enough to make you call my friend or that you consider me your friend but hey, it was great to talk to you. <3

Atte: the Slyffindor Girl 💀

💖 @twancingyunhoe

ALLYSSA 🥺 Okay, okay, just mention your name and I'll get in cute mode. I remember following you, yet I hadn't dared talk to you much. The safest thing I'd ever said to you was "Hello! I walk by giving love and support!" for days later asking if you were going to adopt me to have adopted Gabby as my sister 🥺 You're a beautiful person who has such a big, beautiful heart that makes me soft. I know I haven't exchanged many words with you this past month, but I hope that's not going to affect the fact that you're important to me. Thank you for accepting me, giving me love and always being so pretty. <3 kith kith

💖 @tinkerbellwoo

You are such a gift to me diejsndis. Since the first time I knew you, you were very kind and lovely to me. You won a part of my heart with your kindness and yeah, I do remember going to your asks and just "Hey, here is a bunch of love from me to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also I hope we can be friends" kejebskssi. That was like my way to ask to be one of your closer moots because you were just so cool and I wanted to be friends with the wonderful person I saw had interactions with some of my moots. I'm sorry because I have time without actually having a large conversation with you and is completely my fault... I hope this new year will change that and I can talk more to you 🥺💖

💖 @yungidreamer

My older sister :( I'm so happy I had the opportunity to talk to you 👉🏼👈🏼 I still don't forget that you once used the dissapointed card with meeee, your little cute princess angel baby sister. I have cero regrets welcome you into my big, not normal, Tumblr family because yeah, probable we aren't the same but at the same time we are the same, if you know what I mean 👀 I hope we can have more conversations between each other because I know is very interesting to talk to you but at the same time I'm so shy :(

💖 @yunderland / @shangri-woo

How can I began this? Ksbsdusbs First, I need ti be honest. I do have my thirst times and well, I read many of your works in ghost mode 👉🏼👈🏼 I was kinda shy to just idk, interact kdidbdkd. Also I began to see you interact with Amelie and was funny and I began to think "What happens if I do try to be friends with her?" but also "What if she doesn't like how I am? I ccan be a bother some times...". And yeah, I was thinking that for maybe two days until I decided to make a move. I followed you and I said "Hi 👉🏼👈🏼 I saw you talking with Amelie... You seem like a kind and lovely person, mind if I try being friends with you?" skdbsudbdks. I. Will. Not. Regret. Talking. To. You. You are such a good person :( Every time we talk, you are just so attentive that makes me soft. Please, keeo being my friend :( even if you don't consider me as your friend :(

💖 @ursaurora

Well, I don't have that much to say because I just said hi while being in hiatus but hey, I really really like the idea of being friends with you. This doesn't stopped me to wish you a good New Year and hey, why not hoping to have a good relationship between each other? <3

💖 @illicit-roses

Rosa xkenskd you sidjdndid are isbddkdj a ksudkdid baby. Such a beautiful, sweet, kind and big hearted baby. I was also the first one to talk to you and I was the one that began being surprised by your words isbwkdz. Not to mention that I also got shy and touched by your words. In this year, I would love to be more close to youuuuuu <3

💖 @inkigayeo / @woo-san

Vivi, I don't know if you will read this so probably if you do, is because I told you in private kxjsksdnsk. I don't feel like remembering you how I began talking to you because you asked and I already told you that but something I for sure need you to know is that... I'm still very touched by your encouraging words to me. I think our first first conversation was about me being depressed and how I was feeling toward myself, then about my admission test that hey, you did amazing with your words. I remember I cried because yeah, I was anxious but you told me a great advice. And when I didn't do well on that an also began saying sorry to you for not doing well, you gave me anither good words that hey... How not be in love with Vivi? Vivi is just a Queen with a big heart and kindness to give to everyone :(( <3

💖 @atinyedits / @atinywrites

My lovely and beautiful Anrose kdbdkzkzd I remember I began to talk to you after I saw a post of Cottons talking about how you were such a fk rat brat and my first thought was "Hey, I want to be her friend" lol. And guess what? That's what I did isbszlxudbzk I went to your asks and I asked you if you wanted to be my friend and you accepted. We began talking and I began having this love to you idbesldjdbs. But something I do need to make clear is that I didn't thought you will be part of my Tumblr family as my mom kdjdsldudhs I still remember reblogging with an "you are married with Allyssa?! She is my mooooom" and yeah, you were welcome to a natural habit of a family who is thirsty 24/7 for Ateez or each other and yeah, such a triangle live attraction and the foughts you still have with my other mom kdisjsnd. But I hope you feel the love I have for you. Because I do love you and I trust you enough. Don't you remember how I send you photos of my body? I do feel insecure about it and still regret to be being called a Queen but yeah, I trust and love you enough, my Anrose <3

💖 @atiny-ahgase

Gabby, my sweetest sister 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I began this? Well... Not to mention that I usually read your interactions with Zad and as I wasn't someone you knew, I was scared to talk to both of you. You because I was mostly shy and for Zad because I thought he was intimidating, funny, right? Well, I'm not sure if I do told you about giving you tons of love and support directly but I do remember adopting Zad as my brother and he telling me he had a sister and my first thought was "Hey, why I can't have a big sister too?" and then I began talking to you and with what I was welcomed? By tons of love and cute gifs of kisses and hugs. You make me feel lovved, Gabby. You are such an angel 🥺 Please, don't stop loving your baby sister Mei <3

💖 @shinyddeonghwa

Omg, omg, omg. I feel bad because I don't even know how I began talking to you T^T I feel bad to admit that I get confused between you and Treasure and ksbsizbdsis I think it was with you that I talked in Portuguese jzusnsks and if not, I'm sorry for the miss understanding ksisjs T^T but something I for sure remember if you trying to dom me and then getting flustered when that didn't worked and it was my time then isnwishsslsns I also need to mention that is always cute everything you do dkdbskzusks even how you talk to me <3 I hope our friendship can last for more time <3

💖 @sansbun & @choisans-dimples

Bun and Cass, the brat in denial 👀😗, the sweetest babies I have met. Two lovely babies that love cats and San. I think my first interaction with the both of you was because of the Tumblr family. Bun, I'm sorry for not talking too much to you. You are such a kind person and I would like to be closer to you in this new year. And for Cass, we talked more in discord but still wasn't that much :( But it was actually funny to see you fighting with Mari, it was cute nsisnslds. I hope both of you know that your auntie loves you so much <3

💖 @galaxteez

ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH <3

Our first conversation was something thirsty, I'm 100% sure about that. And how to forget how I always forgot to turn on to be anon siwnsibddk8dn. But I'm still sure you loved to see my asks while me being anon than when it was actually me because mine was just cute, giving tons of love to you when my anon... Well... My anon 😗 I know I have time without having thisty talks with you so maybe this new year will mark the difference 👀 <3

💖 @ateezstanlove

Ndyensiddhsihssjwj here is when my mind is having problems to remember how I actually met everyone and that's making me feel bad skdbwksjzns but something I can be 100% is that I tried really hard every day to make you feel all the love I can give. I still remember when I saw you were on hiatus and thinking about leaving Tumblr. Being honest, I was really sad but hey, you are here now to receive all my love and have those lustful thoughts about Wooyoung's thighs —I saw that, sis 😗. But yeah sksnqisndks. I love you and I hope we can have more time as sisters this year <3

💖 @ateez-little-star

Jas, the beautiful star in the sky 🥺 You were actually my first sister in my Tumblr Family. I still think is funny how I try really hard to baby you but at the end is in the other way, you end baby me skjssksisns 🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I be more grateful to met you, uh? You always listened to my problems and I do considered a lot your opinions, is very kind to talk to you. I feel always loved when I talk to you. Also not to mention how I felt when during the night you left and when I searched you, you were gone. I was really sad and my first thought was "If she doesn't come back... She will remember me?" ksudisbskd but in days you came back and I was so happy :(( Please don't leave me again, Jas :( You are very soecial to me, my baby sis 🥺💖

💖 @hiatus-kittenmbb

Msisnsiddn MU AUNTIE HERE, EVERYONE. MSIWBSKDJDSBSB I want your love, cuddles, kisses and all the things you can give me and I'll make sure to make you feel the same, with tons of love <3 Not to mention how funny is to talk to you and all the times you told me to bother Kitty mom hahaha such a good and lovely relationship both of you have hahaha. Ps:Don't forget I love you so much, Auntie <3

💖 @hwastreasure

Mia :( I'm sorry because I don't have many things to say but at the same time I don't want you to feel sad about it. I remember I told you I will talk constantly to you and I didn't do it. Please forgive me :(( Can we try again and be closer now? :(

💖 @hongjoong-a-holic

SOFIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-.... Oh, no. My mistake. Let me try again. MY LIL LIOOOOOOOOOOOON GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~. I don't have a lot of words how to describe the love and affection I have for you. You were always paying attention to me and giving me love —not to mention that you told me I needed to hug you just because you wanted nsisns and I say no lol— and that's cute sksnsksis. I also want to say that all those times that I do bother you with Blue about gifs of Ateez dancing sexily and those smuts and all that explication of sexuality... I have cero regrets! :D lmao. If you really thought I will say sorry about that, is a nono. I know you love it at the end lmao. But there is something I for sure need to be sorry... I know you were sad about me leaving ti be on hiatus and I still did but baby, I really needed to do it. I promise I'll be back soon. Very soon, just wait for me <3

💖 @hwaberrykiwi

Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam :(( I began to talking to you thanks to Jas that she asked me if I knew you and I said no and she just make me talk to you and guess what? I'm happy she did that because hey, I met an amazing person. And even if we didn't talked that much, something my heart will not forget are the words you told me when I said Uw as going on hiatus. I was really touched, I cried. I really did at the end but yeah. I would love to be more close to such a person with a big big heart <3

💖 @joongieblue

I don't even know how to began this because I think everything I need you to know, you already know it but at the same time I feel like I still need to say a lot :(( I don't want you to feel less as a person anymore... I know you said that way of thinking is because of your depression but baby, try to look at the amazing people who are with you, that cares about how you are and of course you are very important to them. You are very sweet and amazing as a person, let me tell you that I see in you a soft light. A very pure light that needs to shine bright in the sky but the darkness is making her feel like a insuficient and lonely light. Don't worry, things will get better soon. Trust me <3

💖 @seonghwa-is-babie

How can I began this without this looking awkward? 👉🏼👈🏼 I met you thanks to Zad and what I learned is that you were such a good, kind and shy boy but of course I still think you can be very intimidating if you want to. I'm sorry for not having a lot of conversation with you since I met you but I promise I'll try harder to be close to you. Of course, if you don't mind <3

🧡 - @seacottons

How can I began this?... The first time I talked to you, it was me trying to tease you really bad. I can also remember I told you to cald me kitten or something like that at that moment and the next thing we talked was about how I wanted to be adooted by you so bad isnsldks I don't regret doing all what you wanted me to do so you can adopt me because hey, you are amazing, wonderful as my other mom. Talking to you is like a way to calm my insecurities and stress I had during the day. You always giving love to me and even those cute hugs in the head you give or when you are too much sleepy to even type correctly iwjeneid you are such a baby :(( I'm still sorry for the time I called you a rouch, you aren't a bug... You are a beautiful, sweet, kind Queen I have the posibility to call mom. Not to mention that you are also my sweet, cool pumpkin —favorite— mom. Also, I can remember all those times you told me to bother or kick Kitty just because "she need it" dkbsskdjd the time you also wanted to disown me dibedidnzsj Leaving that topic to say cute things I love about you again is that... I'll be forever happy and gratefull with you. You gave me great advice when I needed them the most. You gave me a shoulder and a soft comfortable place to talk about my deep problems, my insomnia, depression, all of that. Thank you, mom. Thank you so much for letting me be part of your life and of course, youre mine. I will not share with Kitty <3

💖 @jongpleasure

My lovely, sweet and innocent twin ^^ lmao, we know we both are like really really twins. Our birthdays are very close, we both are Cancers, have the same bias that we share with each other because damn, he is really nice. But hey, is still very good to know you because you are talented, really really talented. The videos you create are wonderful and I am not saying that just because I know you, they are very good. The same with your fics, are amazing. You are an amazing writer, why you can't see that, uh? Want me to kiss your cheeks and hug you hard till you learn it? If you do want it, you are free to come to me and I'l give ut to you because msidbwks you are my lovely twin that I love so much. Have a great new year, I hope all your problems get resolved and you can noticed how you are talented enough to succeed and that you have friends in here that love you so bad. Kyra, my sweet twin I love so much <3

🕷️🕸️ - @yunhoshoe / @jonghoshoe

Aw, my baby prince Zad :(( The one I can trully see as a baby even when you are such a year younger than me. I want to protect you every time, even when I know I can't do that much virtually... So everytime I need to make me feel that I gave you all the love I can give and hope you can feel all the love I try to give you every time we talk. I'm still sorry for that time I make you feel uncomfortable with my missunderstanding about spiders and all of that... I'm also sorry for that time I send you gifs about dogs when you were scared of them... I'm really sorry, baby. Your big sister is dumb many times but hey, she is also still learning and want to give all she can to you. I hope this new year, we cab still be closer. Who is my little sweet, cute baby prince? Of course, you <3

💖 @xiuminswifeforever

I know we aren't that close, sadly. I follow you on twitter and here and everytime we talk is probably you being horny and wanting to have sex or somethung with your hmm... Is funny to talk to you and I know you told me that you are mostly in twitter and that was why we don't talk that much but hey, I would love to talk more with you. Want to try in this new year? <3

💜 - @yunhoiseyecandy

My sweet angel Violet :(( HoW I can began this? Kdsndid I don't remember very well how I began talking to you... Like I try really hard to remember how I began talking to you and my mind is in blank siwnsksus I'm sorry because of that but at the same time, is the good memories that are important to remember, right? How can I not be feeling grateful with the angel that with some kind words that came from her heart, made me a crying mess because of how touched I was? :(( There are many things I know I will not forget. That time I was feeling low beecause someone was just being very mean with me and you were protective, your kind words when I was just losing my mind and feeling all that pain inside and you helped me release that... For this year, I hope we can still be friends because you are amazing and I don't want to lose you :( <3

💖 @treasure-hwa

I feel really bad if I began saying this but I do want to say the truth and the truth is that I usually get confused between shinnyddeonhwa because you both had/have Hwa in their profiles and I know you both don't even write in the same way but idk, is easily for me to get confused, I'm sorry T^T Changing the subject, I really loved that time when we began talking in Portuguese and Spanish at the same time. Was really funny to even think how everyone would saw that ksjsnskdd Also I am very touched and happy when you roleplay with me... You are very sweet even while roleplaying and that makes me soft in such a way dksbskdid I would like to roleplay again with you, only if you want to any other time 👉🏼👈🏼 Also in this new year, I hope we can still be talking to each other for a long time, sister <3

💖 @cometoceantrenches

Not me being speechless every time I began writing a paragraph kwusnekdid also not me becoming your friend the second you asked me how was the relationship between Cottons and I 👉🏼👈🏼 But look at the good side, we are sisters now and guess what? I noticed how you have a big BIG heart and all the love you can give is just so cute when I receive it or just read it. I hope in this new year we can make new and memorable conversations together. Don't forget you have an special space in my heart <3

🤍 - @vocalyunho

Amelie, my sweet and lovely wife :(( How can I began this? I remember the first time I talked to you. I said your writing skills were amazing and that you were cute and I wanted to try being your friend. Not to mention that two days later I ask you to be my wife dkebdidbdkd But I don't regret that at all. I'm really happy I met you because every time I talk to you, I feel in a safe space... A place I can say how I really feel without being judged... And what do I receive every time I talk my problems out? Sweet words and advice :(( Amelie you are such a good girl, a good advicer and an amazing friend. Thank you so much for letting me be your friend. I know I won something big with your beautiful friendship. Also I know that you have problems and stress but hey, as you said, things hopefully will get better, we just need to be patient and wait. And don't forget that you can come to me everytime you want. I'll be here for you, Amelie. Anlso in this new year, I hope our friendship can grow bigger and yeah, why not trying to create new memories together? Remember you are Yunho of our 2Ho. Love you <3

💖 @sollyho & @ateezinmymind

Well... Maybe this will look like a very short paragraph but... I felt bad at the same time because I don't have that much to say... For sure, I'm happy I met both of you because during our conversations, I can deduce that I can trust you because you are lovely and all of that. What I regret so bad is that during this 2020, I didn't talked that much and that's why I feel bad for not writing something big but please, don't feel that I don't care about you because I do :(( i hope in this new year, we can talk much and maybe be close friends 👉🏼👈🏼

👑 - @barnesbabee

Queen Trixie 👉🏼👈🏼 Well, what I can say is that first, I love your humor keiwbsnd also that everytime you tive your opinion about something, you have valid points. This will sound stupid but I do really like to read when you post something. As I said some days ago in your dm, I really would like to be close to you but at the same time I do feel like that will not occur or will not happen that easily because I am not that cool and well, I don't know, I feel like I would be that kind of person you would dislike easily. Something I promised this year and will keep till this new year is the tonw of love I give to you and the support you need as a powerful queen. <3

💖 @multidreams-and-desires

My baby sis that I love so much, always taking care of me ane telling me how much you love me :(( this year was amazing. Probably our talks are mostly about problems or just giving each other love. I'm happy that I met you because you are always kind and of course you have also those thirsty moments that all our Tumblr family have —that's why we all get along, we are a bunch of people that have Ateez as their weakness lol. Also, I need to mention that in this new year, you need to know that I'll be giving you more love so just wait for me <3

💖 @msmadness99

Seven, my lovely Seven ^^ First of all I need to mention the iconic moment we both noticed we talked in Spanish after months of always talking on English lol. I know some of your insecurities about your writings and I still want to let you know that when I say that your works are amazing, well written and calls the attention easily, I'm being honest and saying that not as your friend, I say that as a fan of your works. I don't know who tells you or makes you feel insecure about them but hey, is amazing. Even those short things you write and don't get me started with Break Out serie siendjdbdkdys Every time you update, you make me have my heart in my throat kduebwdkd You are very talented, don't let others make you think other way. I love you, Seven <3

I think that is all 👉🏼👈🏼

I hope you all receive this new year with a smile and always being positive ❤️

I’m so grateful for your support and love this year. May you have a prosperous, happy and healthy New Year.

May all your dreams come true in 2021! You got this!❤️

#queue #Happy New Year✨#I’m so proud of all your accomplishments this year — and I just can’t wait to see what you do in the next.#In an extraordinary year I’ve been grateful for your extraordinary friendship…. thank you #You all deserve the best ❤️✨

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ktheist · 4 years ago

Text

FROM THIS POST

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i do! it wasn't always like this before buy i'm glad my relationship with them improved <3

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

me mom bc i luv her

03: Do you regret anything?

my wasted potential oof

04: Are you insecure?

who isn't?

05: What is your relationship status?

i'm taken!! by meeeeeee!!!

06: How do you want to die?

in my sleep because i won't notice i'm dying - or will i realize i died when i wake up? oof

07: What did you last eat?

a popia, i think it's a traditional food here.

08: Played any sports?

breathing is a sports

09: Do you bite your nails?

thankfully, no!

10: When was your last physical fight?

been a long while, last fight i remember is wrestling the tv remote from my bro and we were like kids and i'm old now ):

11: Do you like someone?

like someone i can potentially get or someone i can never? min yoongi and jeon jungkook ):

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

oof i don't think so but i might once i get desperate enough to take some adderall

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

at first i thought i don't but now that i really think about it, there's this one dude who, every time i think about him, makes me wanna puke bc of his shit hygiene and we got preeeeetty close at some point

14: Do you miss someone?

nopee

15: Have any pets?

my demons uwu

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

as of 15th dec, ya girl is tideeeee

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

naw that shit nastyy

18: Are you scared of spiders?

TERRIFIED

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yes omg

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

at my ex's place before he left the country

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

work and sleep and hopefully sleep some more

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

five is too many but i'll start off w one kitty and adopt more from there!!!

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

none, i'm a puthy ):

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english / research / acadamia. potato potato yk

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

i shudder at the idea of meeting people from my pasts lol

26: What are you craving right now?

i’m always craving for ramen!!

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

yes and no? it didn’t feel like a real relationship lmao

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

i wouldn’t say make since i asked them about why they did sumn sketchy and they ended up crying

30: What’s irritating you right now?

the shitload of work that i have ):

31: Does somebody love you?

meeee and ig my parents luv me

32: What is your favourite colour?

maroon, deep blue and grey!!

33: Do you have trust issues?

omg yes how did you know

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i don’t remember but i usually like my dreams bc it’s like watching a fantasy movie lmaooo

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t cry in front of people

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

i give out third chances lmaooooo

but ig it works out bc if they mess up after the third, then it’s bye bye for good bc they dead to me

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

to forget wooooooooo if you mess up then you’re dead to me

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

nah bro its 2020

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

legal

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

outside like in public or just in my house? bc if the first, then neverrr

51: Favourite food?

ramen yumm

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

depends lol sometimes things just happen to inconvenience me and i don’t appreciate the person who caused it

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

scroll my ipad

54: Is cheating ever okay?

depends lol, are you both cheating and aware of it? then yes. if only one party’s cheating and being sneaky? no i hope they get pooped by a bird every time they go out

55: Are you mean?

idk ): sum say i come off too strong but it’s only been them puthy ass men that’s said that

56: How many people have you fist fought?

my bro

57: Do you believe in true love?

yes for self-love and no for romantic kind of love, maybe for familial love

58: Favourite weather?

livin in a hot and humid country makes you appreciate the rain a bit more!!

59: Do you like the snow?

they look magical in tv!!

60: Do you wanna get married?

yea sure if the dude fits me. i don’t believe marriages are supposed to be a compromise, if you have to change something to fit the other, then that’s not really a good reason to keep being tgt for me.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

eh it’s okay

62: What makes you happy?

sleeping!!

63: Would you change your name?

i would... to cara (;

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

idk man, i don’t have any problems but depends if they wanna ykwim?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

noooooo best friends are best friends for a reason!!!

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no but oh well i’m v comfortable w my girlfriends alr

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

uh, besides my dad and bro, ig this one friend from high school who’s like super chill

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

a friend on tumblr by the name of my fav day; rain ((((:

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

ig? i mean if they fit you then they fit you. 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

me mommy bc i appreciate her sm <3

#answered sum questions bc i want to #but i don't like how my answers go from large fonts to small fonts #takes away the aesthetic yk #might private this post after i get tired of it #cara the clown #wooo #vibe check

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magniloquent-raven · 5 years ago

Note

Ooh for your prompts: Fluffy Elmax sleepover with cuddling for #16 pls :') xoxox

i had such a good time writing this omg thank you!!! tho there’s a couple bits that threaten to be angst because im physically incapable of writing pure fluff lmao. it’s just tiny bits tho. just a smidge.

also, because s4 isn’t out yet i uh. kinda just did a time skip but didn’t rly change anything about how s3 left off? i know we know hopper’s alive but like. i guess he’s just still in russia in this fic LMAO rip. don’t think about it too hard

posted on ao3 as well :)

—-

Max’s watch timer beeps obnoxiously again. 8:36. El’s late. She hits snooze.

“When’s your friend supposed to be here, sweetie?”

“Soon, mom. You know, you and Neil don’t have to wait up.” They do this every time. Like Max isn’t almost seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone in her own damn house for five minutes. At this rate they’re going to be late for whatever thing it is they’re going to, and Neil will be even more of a bitch than usual.

Her mom glances over at him. He’s sitting in his armchair looking surly, checking his watch pointedly. Asshole.

“Well…I don’t think—”

Max hears a car pull up out front. “Oh, thank fuck,” she mutters, turning on her heel and marching out to greet the Byers’.

Joyce climbs out of the passenger seat as Max strides across the lawn. “Max, honey!” she waves, grinning bright, “How are you?” There’s always a…tone to how she asks that. Questions lurking under the surface that they don’t talk about. It makes Max’s insides all squirmy thinking about it, though she is on some level grateful for the concern.

Max stands on the curb, tugging on her earring. A habit by now. It’s both a comfort and a reminder. She got one hell of a lecture the day she came out of the bathroom with blood running down her neck and a safety pin in her earlobe, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

El slides out of the driver’s seat, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Max watches her stand and adjust her shirt. She always looked good in yellow. “I’m good,” Max responds after a beat, and it’s honest for once.

The door behind her creaks. Probably her mom and Neil coming out of the house, hopefully to leave, finally. She doesn’t turn around, just steps into Joyce’s waiting arms and presses her face into her shoulder. Max is taller than her now, by a couple inches, so it hurts her neck a little, but it’s worth it.

Will’s still tucked away in the backseat, peering through the window, Max waves at him when she peeks up over Joyce’s shoulder.

Then El distracts her. “Your hair,” she says, gently tugging on a lock behind her ear. Max steps back from Joyce, and runs a hand through it, cheeks pink. Three years ago she’d hacked off all her hair with a pocket-knife, woke up the morning of Billy’s funeral with strands still stuck to her neck, locks hanging ragged across her forehead. Her mother had thrown a fit.

“Yeah, I cut it again,” Max says, like that wasn’t obvious. She’d let it grow out uneven and messy for a while, but she broke out the scissors again about a month ago. It’s neater than her last haircut, but not by much.

El’s hand is in Max’s hair again, dangerously close to her face. Max’s knees wobble a little.

“Bitchin’,” she says solemnly, after a few seconds of consideration.

Max’s grin is blinding.

Her mother cuts in, before she can respond, gives her the usual talk about staying in the house and making sure she’s got her emergency numbers memorized. Then she bids them all a hasty, distracted goodbye. Her mom was never very comfortable about the Byers’. Probably something about Joyce’s too-knowing gaze, or the fact that El glares daggers at Neil every time he’s within range.

She’s doing it now. Watching him get into his truck with a quiet rage in her eyes. Joyce puts a hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t move until Neil’s truck has turned the corner at the end of the street.

“We should get going,” Joyce says, checking her watch. “Will wanted to be at Claudia’s an hour ago but we got caught up at Mike’s house, and, well, you know how it is,” she flutters her hands, approximating a shrug.

She hugs El goodbye, then pulls Max in for another one. “Call us if you need anything,” she says, pulling back and putting her hands on Max’s shoulders. That sad glint is in her eye again, and Max knows the offer extends beyond tonight.

“Thanks, Joyce, we will.”

By the time she’s taken the corner at the end of Cherry Lane Max’s watch is beeping again.

El glances down at it, a pinch between her eyebrows. “…Was that for me?”

“Uh.”

The confusion melts off her face, replaced by a cheeky grin. “It was!”

Max shuts the alarm off, cheeks burning. “Why were you guys at Mike’s for so long?” she asks. eager to change the subject. If the guys are meeting up at Dustin’s the delay wasn’t because Will and Mike were catching up, and, well, Mike and El’s relationship is…of interest to Max. For reasons.

El purses her lips. It’s a face that tells Max they’re gonna need to be sitting and cozy for this conversation because it’s gonna be a long one. So, she links their arms and pulls her inside.

An hour later they’re huddled under a throw blanket on the couch. El is giggling, face in her hands, and Max is wheezing around a mouthful of skittles.

“Oh, that’s so not funny,” she chokes out, trying not to spew candy everywhere, which brings about a fresh wave of laughter. El’s shoulders are shaking, brushing against Max’s and making her warm all over. God damn, she’s missed this.

“Then why are you laughing,” El replies, poking her side and smiling from ear-to-ear.

She’s beautiful, Max thinks. Her braid is half-undone, letting her hair curl around her face in gentle waves, and her eyes are bright. She looks happy, and Max holds on to that, keeps it all for herself because she did that, she made that happen. She might not have everything she wants from El, but she’ll take whatever she can get. Whatever El wants to give. And sometimes just her smiles are enough, enough to make Max’s chest constrict and her heart glow, because for now, she’s happy too.

She laughs again, in leu of a response. How can she not, when she feels so light she could float away, high on the soft strawberry scent of El’s shampoo and the way her cheek dimples when she grins. But she can’t say that, so she says, “Because it’s Mike,” and pokes El right back. “I’m legally obligated to laugh at his misfortune.”

They have a complicated friendship, which mostly boils down to her being willing to bail him out when he’s in shit, but only if she gets to make fun of him while she does it.

El wrinkles her nose a little, but her smile doesn’t dim, “You two are weird.”

She’s pretty sure it used to bother El, how much Mike and Max fought. Max can’t help but wonder if they’d have gotten along better if she wasn’t in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Because she’d dumped him for good this time. Four months ago, apparently, though Mike was, until a few hours ago, under the impression it was temporary.

Max almost feels bad for him. Except she doesn’t. Apparently, he was a dick about the whole thing, so at least she has a solid reason not to.

“You love us,” Max scoffs. El may have broken up with Mike, but she’ll always love him in some way or another.

El’s expression softens, turns fond and sweet. She’s thinking about Mike, Max is sure, but the smile is still directed as her. Small victories. “I do,” she says quietly.

They order a pizza after that, and watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. By 3am Max’s throat is raw, and her stomach hurts from laughing (and too much pizza). It’s the most fun she’s had in a while. The Byers’ don’t visit as often as any of them would like.

Max isn’t even tired, but El’s head has been dropping onto her shoulder on and off for the past hour so she suggests they call it a night.

She knows that when the boys sleep over at each other’s houses they’ll take the floor, or the couch in the basement, anything but actually sharing a bed. As El wraps an arm around her waist and snuggles up with her under the blankets, Max takes a moment to wonder if that would be better or worse than this.

It always seemed so miserable to Max, how much boys have to limit themselves.

But also…well, it might be easier sometimes. She wouldn’t have to deal with wanting things she shouldn’t want because El would be over there, and not right up in her space, hands warm and breath tickling Max’s ear. This is different than sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, it blurs the line more, and it’s the ambiguity that’s driving Max crazy.

She wasn’t tired before, but she’s wide-awake now.

Time creeps by strangely this late at night. Max isn’t sure how long she lays there, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her pounding heart. El’s breath is steady, quiet, and her eyes are closed. Max is sure she’s asleep, she was so tired before.

Before she can stop herself her hand creeps up, brushes a strand of hair from El’s face.

Moonlit, she’s ethereal. There’s always been something otherworldly about El, with her big, dark eyes, always watching, boring holes into you with their intensity. Shadows play across her cheek, and Max tracks them for a while, absurdly jealous of moonlight.

She traces patterns on El’s forearm, the one resting on Max’s stomach, keeping her touch light so as not to wake her.

More time passes, and Max’s head feels heavy with sleep that won’t come. She’s groggy, leaning back but unable to keep her eyes closed.

She starts talking. Whispering. Remembering the times she read Wonder Woman comics to El until she fell asleep, and hoping, somewhere in her foggy brain, that it might work on herself too.

“You know… I always knew we’d be good friends. The second I heard your name I wanted to know you,” she murmurs, and draws a star on El’s wrist. “Didn’t know how badly I wanted until I saw you though. You were terrifying, and I loved it. And now…” Her eyes slide closed as she thinks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful. Everything about you. And I love you…more than I should.” She sighs, sits in silence and cards her fingers through El’s hair. It’s getting so long.

El’s hand closes around her wrist.

Max’s eyes fly open, and she stills, heart pounding. “Uh.” El’s eyes are open, looking up at her, she’s awake, she’s awake, oh fuck– “Um. Did—did I wake you up, I’m—sorry if I woke you—”

“It’s okay.” The corners of her mouth turn up, slow and careful, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh.” Is all Max can manage, staring down at El with wide eyes, waiting for her to…do something. Max’s palms are sweating. She doesn’t know what to expect.

El moves her hand, puts Max’s palm against her cheek and shuffles forward until they’re nose to nose.

“Oh.”

She tastes like toothpaste and kiwi lip balm, and kisses as sweetly as she smiles. Her hands end up in Max’s hair, fingers gentle but demanding, guiding her forward. If Max wasn’t already laying down, she’d need to be because her knees are jelly.

“Oh,” El echoes when she pulls back, laughter in her voice. She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth, careful and deliberate. Then her expression softens, sobers. “I was jealous of you. At first. Didn’t…know what it was. Know why. So, I ignored you. And… I’m sorry.”

Max shakes her head, “Ancient history. It’s okay.”

“No, I,” El stops, furrows her brow, “You were so happy. Free. I wanted that. And then, then you helped me have that. So. Thank you.” She cups Max’s face, fingertips tracing along her cheekbone, and Max’s heart sings. “And I love you too.”

They kiss again, and Max decides that El sleeping on the floor would’ve been a terrible idea.

#elmax #elmax fanfic #stranger things #el hopper #max mayfield #i couldn't resist the little bits about max mourning her brother because im a masochist apparently #if anyone was wondering the earring max is wearing is 100% billy's #and joyce knows neil is The Worst which is why she's concerned about max #making sure he isn't treating her how he used to treat billy #yeah #ALSO #susan being all overprotective?#is because of billy #like. he might not have been her kid but he was something to her yknow?#and now he's gone #and she gotta deal w that somehow #and shes dealing with it by clinging extra hard to the kid she's got left #THAT'S TOO MANY SAD HEADCANONS TO PUT IN ONE FLUFFY SLEEPOVER FIC WHY AM I LIKE THIS #anyway apparently posting my writing is a thing i do now so i need a tag #a raven's writing desk #because i'm real pretentious dont @ me lmao

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thedeliverygod · 5 years ago

Text

I like doing these things every once a while so here we gooo

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?: kfjsl. with my dad yes. with my mom it’s iffy.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? my besties.

03: Do you regret anything? plenty but obvs can’t change the past.

04: Are you insecure? oh yeah.

05: What is your relationship status? single

06: How do you want to die? preferably not at all lmao but I guess peacefully in my sleep??

07: What did you last eat? tiny little pieces of a strawberry & creme cheese muffin but it’s too much for me.

08: Played any sports? no but I love hockey, I wish I would have had the thought to get into it at a younger age and play on a team.

09: Do you bite your nails? no.

10: When was your last physical fight? I’ve never had one cuz I know my ass would get beat.

11: Do you like someone? not really.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? I think the most I’ve made it is like 30 lol. I need sleep.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? no.

14: Do you miss someone? I miss seeing my friends yeah its been a while.

15: Have any pets? my cat Salem.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? pretty tired

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? uhhhhh I was gonna say no but we did try to have shower sex one time so I guess so

18: Are you scared of spiders? vaguely I guess. I just don’t like touching gross things but I mean I will kill it if needed lol

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? it’s tempting but idk if I would want to risk what things I do have.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? uhhhhh considering the last person I kissed was my ex-boyfriend and we’ve been broken up for almost 4 years now I don’t know. I would assume his bedroom maybe?

21: What are your plans for this weekend? go on a walk outside cuz it’s gonna be niceee (80 degrees). other than that idk

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? no biologically and if I do end up adopting it’ll be 1.

23: Do you have piercings? How many? no

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? English, theatre, film, and Japanese.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? yeah but he’s a different person so oh well.

26: What are you craving right now? probably sleep.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I guess so.

28: Have you ever been cheated on? not that I’m aware of.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? yes

30: What’s irritating you right now? nothing really.

31: Does somebody love you? romantically, no. platonically and familial, yes.

32: What is your favourite color? it switches between light blue and light purple 33: Do you have trust issues? yes and no. I’m afraid of letting someone in romantically though for sure.

34: Who/what was your last dream about? I had a dream about being in the car with my dad at the beach and the water was absolutely gorgeous but for some reason there were like a lot of abandoned buildings and stuff.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? either dad or my stepmom idk

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? probably

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life? lol not so far

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 17

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? noo

51: Favourite food? fudge

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? kind of.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? play wordscapes like I always do lol

54: Is cheating ever okay? I would say only if you’re in an abusive relationship and feelings develop for someone who actually treats you well and you are on your way to getting out of that situation if that makes sense but like obviously most people aren’t going to want to put themselves in that situation.

55: Are you mean? I hope not

56: How many people have you fist fought? none

57: Do you believe in true love? I believe there’s different people meant for us like not necessarily one person but people meant for us in different ways

58: Favourite weather? warm (upper 70s, low 80s) with a light breeze

59: Do you like the snow? not particularly

60: Do you wanna get married? yes.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I guess it can be but idk me and my ex didn’t do that with each other we had other weird nicknames.

62: What makes you happy? free of responsibilities, time with friends, writing, cosplaying, warm weather, and the ocean.

63: Would you change your name? if my parents/family wouldn’t be so upset about it sure.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? I wouldn’t want to. I’ve literally had nightmares about him begging me to come back to him but then I’ve also had dreams where I did take him back and it was terrible and then I have dreams where I want him back but he ignores me lol. But I know irl he’s not a good person for me anymore.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? that’s what my previous relationship was so I mean. yeah. lol. it worked okay for most of 7 and a 1/2 years but things fell apart for a number of reasons. but also my best friends that are opposite sex currently are a married gay couple so I think I’m okay.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yes

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? idk I’ve talked to a couple guys on fb recently about animal crossing

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? claudia

69: Do you believe in soulmates? same answer as the true love one

70: Is there anyone you would die for? maybe

#about me

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salty-levi · 6 years ago

Note

!!!!could you do an imagine or whatever you want where you're mikasas little sister and realize you and Mikasa are related to Levi but can't figure out how?

I’m going to be 100% honest with you here, I had a REALLY hard time working on this piece. I kind of feel horrible posting this because I’m not happy with it at all. The plot is kind of awkward, it’s not in line with the canon storyline, I’m 110% Mikasa is OOC and I had no idea if this was what you wanted. I hope I’m just being picky and I’m reading too much into this since I’ve been working on it for a whole month. lmao sorry~

Rumors always spread like a wildfire in the survey corps. Soldiers didn’t have anything better to do in their downtime than chat. Most days consisted of training, reporting for duty, training some more, sleeping, then waking up again to repeat the process. Everyone found entertainment in rumors, which is why they tend to move fast.

One time a rumor was spread that Connie and Sasha were together. You were so excited for them when you heard. You went to congratulate them only to hear a couple groans. They put an end to the rumor, but you swore that set the wheels in motion. The two were always together, it’s only a matter of time.

When rumor got out that Levi was an Ackerman, it didn’t take long for you to overhear a couple soldiers gossiping.

“Yeah, I heard Levi’s last name is Ackerman.” A blonde girl whispered, putting her hand to the side of her mouth as if it’d block her voice from unwanted listeners.

A brunette gasped. “What? So is he related to Mikasa and (Y/N)?”

“I don’t know. It’s an unusual surname.” the blonde rested her hand on her hip, shifting her weight on her left foot.

You couldn’t help but listen in as you heard your name. So Captain Levi was an Ackerman? Does that mean he’s related to you? You couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of happiness wash over you. There was a chance that you and Mikasa had more family in the world! You just had to tell her.

You began to search headquarters for Mikasa, smiling when you saw her walking towards the mess hall with Eren and Armin.

“Mikasa!” You called after her.

Her head turned towards you and she smiled. She waved at you as you jogged to her side, grasping the sleeve to her jacket when you reached her.

“Can I speak with you? In private?”

Her brow furrowed, a look of concern replacing her usual stoic features. You never usually asked to speak with her alone. The two of you had been through a lot with Eren and Armin and you never minded talking to them about your troubles. You were the Shiganshina Quartet! She really hoped you hadn’t gotten yourself in trouble.

Eren nodded, tugging on Armin’s sleeve.

“We’re going to go on in. See you inside.” He and Armin waved and walked off.

You pulled Mikasa over to the side of the building, ignoring the passing crowd as they practically barged into the mess hall.

“Are you alright?” She lowered her voice, hoping you weren’t in trouble.

“This is going to sound crazy but we’re related to Captain Levi” you blurted out.

What? Shock replaced Mikasa’s usual stoic expression. How on earth did you come up with that crazy idea?

“What gave you that idea?”

“Mikasa his last name is Ackerman. Doesn’t that make you wonder?” You grasped Mikasa’s jacket, youthful eyes gazing into her grey orbs.

Mikasa searched her brain for any sort of explanation. Ackerman wasn’t exactly a surname you’d hear every day, but that doesn’t mean the three of you are related. Right?

She felt so divided. Half of her wanted to believe she had more family out there, even if it was shorty. Just knowing you aren’t alone in the world helps when you’re surviving in this fucked up world. Mikasa saw Eren and Armin as her family That wasn’t ever going to change.

She didn’t want to dismiss you and hurt your feelings, but she also didn’t want you getting distracted. Every day could be your last. She didn’t want you getting hurt due to pointless distractions.

Mikasa closed her eyes and sighed. “No. I don’t care. Eren has been our family. As far as I’m concerned it’ll stay that way”

“Look, I understand how crazy it sounds, but look at us. He looks similar. I mean, he has black hair, we have black hair, he’s pale, we’re pale. He has grey eyes, we-”

“That doesn’t mean he’s related to us.” Mikasa snapped. “(Y/N) we don’t know him. Having the last name Ackerman doesn’t make him family!”

She sighed when she saw your hurt expression. “Look, I just don’t want you getting distracted. I don’t want you getting hurt because you’re wrapped up in this family nonsense.” She squeezed your shoulder reassuringly.

“I’m talking to him.” you turned on your heel and walked off, leaving her behind with a confused expression.

Ugh. Mikasa was so stubborn. You ignored the ache in your chest. The two of you never fought. You always appreciated having her by your side when the world went to shit. Having Captain Levi as a family member would give you someone else to lean on. Right? Well, the only way you’d find out for sure is if you’d talk to the Captain.

You headed over to Captain Levi’s office, knocking on the door 3 times before his deep voice called out.

“Name and business.”

“(Y/N). I need to talk to you, sir.”

Levi’s pen stilled. What on earth would you want to talk to him about? His eyebrows creased in confusion.

“You may enter.” His deep voice rang through the room.

You barged through the door, nearly tripping over your own foot in the process. He gave you an exasperated look as you straighten yourself out, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“What do you need cad-?”

“Is it true your last name is Ackerman?” you blurted out, interrupting him mid-sentence.

Levi paused when he heard the name slip from your lips. He looked up from his paper, steel grey eyes boring into yours as he wracked his brain for an answer. What did it matter to you after all?

“Why do you ask?” his eyes shifted back to his paperwork, pen gliding elegantly across the large piece of paper.

“I happened to overhear a conversation. Have you heard what people have been saying?” you grasped your hands behind your back, resolve breaking instantly.

Of course, he hasn’t heard what people were saying. They wouldn’t even think about gossiping when he was around.

“I don’t have time for petty gossip.” Levi’s brow creased, frowning as he signed his name at the bottom.

“Ah.” You fidgeted.

You didn’t really know what to do next. Should you ask more questions? Should you drop the subject? Maybe it was stupid to come here after all. Mikasa was right, you were jumping the gun here. Even if his name was Ackerman, that doesn’t exactly mean he’s related to you. Even if he was, would he care?

“Yes. My last name is Ackerman.” Levi’s deep voice nearly startled you out of your thoughts.

“Are we related?” You questioned him, eyes hopeful for a positive response.

“I’m not sure.” Levi noticed your shoulders slump at his response. “Look brat, believe what you want. We’re probably related in some way, but I don’t know how.” He paused, thinking of the best way to put things.

That was enough for you. You smiled, rushing over to hug him, instantly backing away when you felt him stiffen in your embrace.

“Ah sorry, Captain. Thank you.” you rushed off, slamming the door behind you. You rushed away as fast as you can before he could potentially punish you for acting out of line.

Levi chuckled went back to finishing his paperwork. It felt surprisingly good to know he had some family in the world.

LMAO This was soo bad. I’m so sorry you had to read that.

#my writing #levi ackerman #levi heichou #lance corporal levi #aot levi #captain levi #aot #snk #levi ackermann #levi ackerman scenarios #levi ackerman imagine #mikasa ackerman #scenario #imagine

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mintyjin · 7 years ago

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mermaid au: jooheon

I’ve heard your cries for part two of mermaid! au changkyun and shownu (seriously, guys, you’ve flooded my ask box lmao), but listen, this concept is vibing with me tonight. enjoy!

once, a long time ago, there was a war between two cities

no one knows for sure why it started, but everyone agrees on one thing: it had something to do with magic

one city specialized in magic capable of moving and creating fire and earth, the other in taming the wind and water

you can kinda see where the conflict arose

years passed, bringing bloodshed and loss to everyone involved

to this day, it is the ugliest war to take place on the grounds and in the waters of your kingdom

and with all ugly wars come stories

this war is no exception, but the stories have a bit more of a peculiar tone

you see, it’s rumored that, to protect their magic and their lives, citizens of the wind and water city did something strange

they dove into the ocean and their legs morphed into tails, their necks creating small gills

and there, in the ocean, is where they dwelled as the earth and fire lineage took the throne, afraid of persecution, of further genocide

and there, it’s said, they remain

no one can definitively prove they exist, but every now and then, there are sightings of these mythical, magical people

and everywhere you go, there are murmurs saying one day, perhaps someday soon, they will grow weary of the ocean and walk back onto land

and on that day, the age-old war will continue

you see, the current monarch is a wielder of fire and earth

and he hasn’t forgotten the stories of his grandfathers

how do you know this so certainly?

well, you’re his only child, the first in line to the throne

while the story entertains you, you’re not so sure it’s entirely accurate

would generation after generation really subject themselves to a life of constant concealment?

magic, too, has its limitations. you know of gill spells and swimming potions, but could there really be a magic powerful enough to allow an large group of people to survive for so long underwater?

that said, you can’t just shrug off the legends completely. the war, after all, did happen

one day, during a particularly heinous arithmetic lesson, you gaze in boredom out of your window, which overlooks the sea

the sight of the rolling sea, ornamented with birds diving in and out of the water, gives you an idea

you should escape this lesson for a little while and go let the water run over your toes

the castle gets so stuffy, and not just because nearly everyone within it is a fire wielder

you excuse yourself to the bathroom, quickly ducking into the hallway of servants’ quarters and slipping through the door at the end

you leave your shoes at the door and dash over to the sand, relishing the way it shifts beneath your feet

and then you sprint as fast as your legs allow so that no one sees you leaving

and when the castle is out of sight, your lungs are burning and your feet feel heavy but you’re so exhilarated at the feeling of freedom that you throw off your unnecessary layers of clothing and hurl yourself into the ocean

with strong strokes, you pull yourself to the calmness of the deeper waters

you turn so that you’re floating on your back, feeling the cool, gentle lull of the waves beneath you, closing your eyes against the sun

and it’s so warm and peaceful that you just lay like that for a while, feeling your stresses melt away

when you grow bored of that, you watch the sun send specks of light dancing along the waves and you decide to try to mimic that light with your magic

you conjure up some small sparks in your palm and lightly blow, casting them onto the sea

they spark and pop like tiny fireworks, the ashes crumbling in the water

not exactly what you wanted

but then you hear a splash behind you, followed by a voice

“Woah... that was actually very pretty.”

you whip around, hand raised, ready to fend for yourself if need be

but the sight that greets you forces you to falter

there, in front of you, is a boy. a very handsome boy, to be exact. with small, dark scales on the sides of his eyes and neck

and unless your eyes are tricking you, you can see the beginnings of a silvery tail beneath the water

mermaid... he’s a mermaid

you shake off your surprise, still poised and on guard. “Who are you?” you ask

“Jooheon. You don’t have to be so tense, I won’t hurt you.”

you still hold your stance, aware that his people don’t have a great relationship with yours

he just sighs and narrows his eyes and says, “Just because our ancestors fought means we have to? And here I thought this could be a fun conversation.”

and you finally put your hand down but you’re still unsure

this could be a trick. he could be waiting for you to relax.

“What do you want?” you ask

he shrugs. “Not sure. I’ve never spoken to a human before.”

and you're like... huh

“I’ve never spoken to a... mermaid... before.”

and to your surprise, he laughs, throwing his head back a bit, his smile magnificent

“Then this should be interesting. Have you ever seen water wielding before?”

you shake your head, no, and he smirks

he dips one hand into the ocean and cups some water in his palm, blowing a bit of air into it not unlike how you did

and then the water seemingly comes to life, taking the shape of a dragonfly and flying to you, landing on your shoulder

and it’s beautiful magic, you can’t deny it

you also can’t fight back the astonished smile that spreads across your face

what you don’t know is that jooheon is like, wow.... she's cute...

“This is amazing!” you exclaim, your previous hesitation forgotten

and jooheon’s like, “Naturally.”

you roll your eyes but seriously, you’re impressed

“Ok, Jooheon,” you say, noticing how he starts when you say his name, “but can you do this?”

you hold your hand palm up, concentrating

and then a flame bursts from your hand and you focus harder, controlling its movements so that it forms a small orb of fire floating a few inches above your palm

and jooheon is already transfixed because he’s never seen fire this close before, but then you snap your fingers and he watches in amazement as it blows away in some invisible wind

and naturally, he has to one-up that, so he shows you another trick of his

which leads to a whole thing where you’re each showing off your magic to the other

you end up laughing a lot, half at this boy’s antics and half in amazement as he conjures things you never could’ve imagined possible

but then you notice he’s giving you a funny look and you ask why and he goes, “You never told me your name.”

“Oh, it’s Y/N.”

“Ok, Y/N, do you trust me?”

“Depends. Why?”

he points behind you, towards the direction of the palace. “I think someone is looking for you.”

you turn and he’s right- even from a distance you recognize the silhouette of your teacher and groan

“I know a place you can hide out,” jooheon says, “but you have to trust me.”

and you’re a little hesitant again but you nod and he pulls you underwater with him

your eyes fling open, bearing the sting of saltwater so that you can see what jooheon is doing

he makes a fist with one hand and then brings it to your mouth, motioning for you to open

when you do, he pushes what feels like a small bubble into your mouth and, to your surprise, you can feel yourself breathing

breathing..... underwater

you even notice the sting in your eyes disappearing

you’re sure your surprise is written all over your face because jooheon laughs, but when you go to open your mouth, he clasps a hand over your lips and shakes his head

you take the hint- don’t open your mouth

from here you can see the entirety of his tail, which is gorgeous

it’s silver, like you thought, but with dark translucent fins

he gently grabs your wrist and pulls you towards him, wrapping an arm around your waist so that you’re pulled right up against him

and it’s not like you mind,,, he’s very warm,,, and uhhhh also very attractive

then he places his mouth above your ear and whispers, “Don’t panic, ok?”

and starts swimming, still holding you

and you’re just looking around in amazement because on one hand, there’s jooheon, who is very fun to look at, but then there’s also schools of fish you’ve never seen up close before swimming by

and you’ve never seen the sun through water like this

it’s all so beautiful and fascinating and you can’t believe you’ve gone your whole life without seeing it

but before long, jooheon swims to the surface and you emerge from the water to find that you’re in a small sort of enclosure

like a small cave

“Where is this?” you ask

“Right behind the castle,” he says

you can’t conceal your surprise, saying, “What? I never knew-” before catching yourself

jooheon has been friendly enough, but that might change if he finds out you’re a member of the royal family

the family that caused his people to jump into the water in the first place

thankfully, he doesn’t seem to have any suspicions

“So, what’s human life like?”

“Kind of boring, to be honest,” you say, launching into descriptions of your teacher and various classes

and you think it’s horribly monotonous but he’s hanging on to your every word and asking questions left and right

he’ll interrupt a story to ask what a bathtub is

and you're like oh yeah I guess you wouldn’t really have a use for one would you

he tells you stories of his life, too

of exploring sunken shipwrecks and huge, expansive corals with his friends

and it’s all so alien and interesting that you figure you could listen all day

but before long, it gets dark and a bit cold, so you think you should go

he notices your glances and is like, “Ah, they’re probably looking for you back at the palace, aren’t they?”

you flinch. “How did you know I live at the palace?”

“I get that our societies are a little separated, but my people know of your family.”

“Oh.”

and he senses that you’re uncomfortable so he takes your hand in his, a blush dusting his cheeks

“I think you’re a good person. Regardless of what our families did to each other, you’re good,” he says

and you squeeze his hand, not meeting his gaze

“Y/N,” he says, oddly serious, “I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”

and you’re like.... yeah, me neither

and you agree to meet him in that small cave behind the palace wednesday night

you pull yourself out of the water, jooheon’s hand steadying you to keep you from falling

and once you’re on dry land, you bend down to kiss his cheek, smiling to yourself as it turns bright red

“Goodbye, Jooheon.”

“Nononono don’t say it like that it sounds so depressing and as if I’ll never ever see you ever again-”

you just laugh and wave goodbye

as you leave, you turn around and jooheon is just staring at you, watching you leave with his chin resting on his hand

he gives you a smile and waves goodbye with the ferociousness of a little kid

and you’re like.... if the rest of the kingdom could see this, peace would stand a fighting chance

but for now, you’re just excited to see jooheon wednesday night

#monsta x #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #monsta x reactions #monsta x jooheon #monsta x jooheon scenarios #monsta x jooheon imagines #monsta x fluff #monsta x jooheon fluff #jooheon #jooheon scenarios #jooheon fluff #jooheon imagines #mermaid au

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nootvanlis · 7 years ago

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My thoughts on the Freelancers Anonymous movie ✨ It’s kind of long and spoilery so it’s under a read more.

Intro.

Overall I’ve got mixed reviews about it. Particularly with the characters and the comedy. I’m particularly picky about comedy because I don’t laugh at things easily so while the audience laughed at some things, I remained silent. I hate when things are advertised as “comedy” and it wasn’t funny (obviously in my opinion since comedy can be subjective) *cough cough Almost Adults* but it did manage to make me laugh and it was light hearted and fun. Its best quality is that it’s very female forward/empowering (there’s also only 1 guy in the cast and he never talks). The app is actually a very a good idea and I’m glad it’s going to become a reality. What a great way to advertise a product; turn it into a movie 😂 Honestly, I’d actually bare to rewatch it again and laugh at somethings again 👌OK AND OBVIOUSLY NATASHA WAS A STAR 💖

Gayle

First topic, Natasha as Gayle because I love talking about her. Her character was cute, very genuine, but of all the characters I felt that Gayle was very “vague.” Sure she was quirky and determined but of all the characters, she felt the least fleshed out. Everyone had qualities that stood out and had grown throughout the movie but Gayle was just there, being her cute quirky determined self (she did stand up for herself when her mom was questioning her life though which is relatable). Which actually made her feel very real but surrounded by a bunch of comical characters, it felt kind of off for her to be there. She can kind of come off whiny (maybe it’s the way Natasha does her voice for Gayle) which kind of made me cringe or meh, but yet I’m still attracted to it LMAO But this is all my opinion of course, maybe I’m just picky.

Whoever put Gayle in thigh highs and a garter belt, I hope they have a beautiful life. As for the rest of her outfits, they were a hit or miss. Sometimes, Gayle looked older, sometimes she looked young. Gayle’s casual outfits at home were honestly some of her best looks. Also Gayle in a wedding dress 💖

Gayle was a woman of many talents; she was an online cabaret singer, read erotic novels, and angrily tap dances (that was fucking amazing to watch 😂). How Natasha managed to pull all that off is worth praising d: Especially the tap dancing. Because of how quirky Gayle was, these all come off as comedic but I honestly believe Gayle was making bank on these weird ass jobs with the way Natasha portrayed her XD Gayle’s moans were TOP NOTCH and my ears and other regions tingled. Sign me the fuck up for those hetero ass erotic audiobooks. Anyways... in a way, the movie was also praising the arts as a viable choice of career.

Other than her rift with her fiancee, Gayle’s conflict was with her mom who wanted her to find a “real” job. I thought all that was very relatable and was handled and resolved very well. A little rushed but it fit in with the plot so it was fine. The only other person Gayle communicated with other than her mom and Billie was the wedding planner, Patty.

Story/Plot/Comedy

The story, while very basic, wasn’t boring at all. It’s a bunch of jobless women who make an app together. The story flowed very nicely but I found the beginning to drag and the movie really started to pick up in the last 30 min (which was the wedding/launch party scene). The jokes became more organic towards the end where in the beginning, they felt kind of forced. I also think a lot of things were resolved too quickly which I’ll talk about later. Especially in the last 5 min. The comedy was good and bad in some parts and when it’s good, you’re laughing out loud. When it’s bad, it feels very forced where at times I felt I had to force myself to laugh because the audience was laughing and questioned whether it was supposed to be a joke.

Billie

Oh boy do I have a lot to say. Billie was unlikeable which is unfortunate since she’s the main character. Her relationship with the FA peeps were more believable and genuine than her relationship with Gayle, who was her FIANCEE. Her and the group dynamic was actually endearing. You want to cheer them on. She wasn’t reprimanded for the shit she tried to pull off. It all worked out in the end (obviously since she’s the main character and it’s a comedy) but I felt like she didn’t deserve the good ending. She hasn’t made up for it. She took the money that someone gave to her to help launch the app and spent it on the wedding so that Gayle wouldn’t be suspicious that she was still unemployed. THEN, she booked her app’s launch party THE SAME TIME AS THE WEDDING TO SAVE MONEY WTF. You’re marrying the love of your life and you want to split your time with that and your career? I get that she’s unemployed also probably having a mid life crisis and that she finally got something going for the app but it’s just unreasonable. Of all the characters, I found her to be the least funniest. The thing is, she wasn’t an asshole, she actually cared too much. She was just trying to make everyone happy. I just didn’t like the way she went about it AND THEN made the same mistake again. Her priorities were all over the place. When she needed to focus on the wedding, she was focussing on the app + FA peeps and vice versa.

Billie and Gayle

The one thing I can say about their relationship was it felt unbelievable. I believe Gayle loved her but not the other way around. Gayle was very understanding of Billie’s unemployment and even went out to seek another job. If anything, I felt like Billie just tolerated Gayle. Hell, even Billie has better chemistry with her rival than her fiancee. I just felt like Billie didn’t prioritize her enough. She prioritized the wedding, but it felt insincere and only did it because she had to. I honestly believe Billie would put the app before her own fiancee. At one point, I thought they were going to break up, but I remembered it’s a comedy so they obviously wouldn’t. I even thought they were gonna call off the wedding in the last 5 min of the movie. Billie was lying throughout the whole movie to her fiancee and that just doesn’t sit well with me. And before anyone asks, yes there were kisses and they were throughout the movie. Nothing too wild. Still felt like Gayle were into the kisses more than Billie. One thing I commend about their relationship; Very normal. Very realistic. Typical couple shit. Just like how I felt Gayle’s character, it felt very lacking in a cast full of unique characters. But I also think it’s nice to see a normal healthy lesbian relationship being portrayed without any strange gimmicks. They fought, they had cute moments, they had random conversations, they had dinner at home that Gayle cooked, they had to deal with mother in laws, they had to deal with changes etc. and they did it all together like normal relationships.

Freelancers Anonymous

I felt the movie really shined (other than Natasha) when it came to these unique characters that Billie met. However, they almost seemed like overgrown children that became more likeable as the movie went on. Like, literally give the script to children/teens and it’d still make sense. I actually found them all very stereotypical and annoying at the beginning and in the end, I really liked the group dynamic. Them as individual characters wouldn’t stand out so it was good that they were together as group throughout the whole movie. While Billie’s relationship with Gayle was dull, I found her relationship with them to be endearing and genuine. It grew and progressed organically and I believe that Billie’s friendship and business with them will be long lasting and successful, unlike with Gayle.

The wedding planner, Patty, was supposed to be a stereotypical annoying wedding planner but I found that every scene she was in, she shined and made me laugh. Gayle’s mom was ok but helped with Gayle’s character growth. Gayle’s mom will be super relatable to a lot of people, especially those working in the arts.

Ending

Like I’ve said, the last 30 min (the wedding/app launch) were the best and I found myself laughing the whole time. However I’m not satisfied with how quickly it was resolved. Gayle found out about Billie’s scheme to have the app launch party THE SAME TIME AS THE WEDDING and what happens? Nothing. They kiss and the movie ends. Gayle’s never even met the FA peeps before, so I think I’d be pretty insulted if my NOW WIFE, was also prioritizing a group of people I’ve never met and the app they made during our wedding day.

#god i thought i'd never finish #im tempted to write more

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shoot-me-with-a-crayon · 6 years ago

Note

For the horrible asks thing, uh, 1-70

Welp, I did say to ask any and all of these. Well, here goes

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

With my mom, yes I do. With my dad, not at all.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My mom

03: Do you regret anything?

Uh, probably

04: Are you insecure?

Fuck yeah

05: What is your relationship status?

Single

06: How do you want to die?

Tbh, if it’s not suicide I’m perfectly fine with it.

07: What did you last eat?

Uhhh,,, some heated up taco meat in a bowl(with cheese, lettuce, and sour cream. Would’ve had onions, but we don’t have any rn :()

08: Played any sports?

Outside of gym class, no

09: Do you bite your nails?

Yeah, all the time.

10: When was your last physical fight?

Never

11: Do you like someone?

I have no idea.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Yep.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Hell yeah.

14: Do you miss someone?

Mm, I don’t think so,,

15: Have any pets?

I have 5 cats. Promptly named; Pepper, Smokie, Dirty, Mama, And Runner.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Kinda mad and annoyed, also really bored.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nope

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Yeah, kinda

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Uh, yeah

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

Never.(oh btw, I had to look it up, and “snogged”basically means kiss and caress or something like that)

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Uh, well the weekend is ending today(bc it’s Sunday) and all I did was sit around and watch Supernatural

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Uh yeah, and probably like 2

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

I don’t

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Uh,, Art, choir, and social studies(for some reason)

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

No, I don’t think so

26: What are you craving right now?

White chocolate and/or ice cream

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Fuck, I hope not

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Not that I know of

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

I fuckin hope not

30: What’s irritating you right now?

My dad

31: Does somebody love you?

I doubt it

32: What is your favourite color?

Uh, pink and blue rn

33: Do you have trust issues?

Yea, a little

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I don’t remember, my last dream was forever ago

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Uh, my brother(bc he was sitting next to me while I cried during Supernatural)

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Probably, yeah

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive, tbh

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

Nope

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Hasn’t happened yet

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

51: Favourite food?

Don’t have one

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Eh, maybe

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Uh.. read fanfics on Wattpad and AO3

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

Yeah,,

56: How many people have you fist fought?

None

57: Do you believe in true love?

Uh, sure why not

58: Favourite weather?

Rain.

59: Do you like the snow?

Fuck no.

60: Do you wanna get married?

Yea

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Yes

62: What makes you happy?

Rain, flowers, soft things, the feel of rain, the smell of rain, my mom, uh.. rain, lmao.

63: Would you change your name?

Yep. And I’d change it to either Angel or Ash(aka what I’ve been attempting to go by this year)

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

The last person I kissed was my mom(on the cheek), so no?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Remind them that I’m gay and try to nicely tell them that I don’t like them like that, and I just wanna stick to being friends.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Yea

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Minus my family, uh my friend(?) Andrew

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My mom

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

My mom.

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crinkled-emotions · 6 years ago

Text

Autumnal Asks

I was tagged by @its-me-theicequeen

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

So, I met my oldest best friend when I was 7 (I'm 17 now damn) and basically we started talking because we both liked horses I think. We fought like crazy and we're in completely different states of Australia now but I still love her heaps and love talking to her when I get the chance.

The second best friend I made when I was 12. We actually didn't talk until I was 13 or 14 when I properly became friends with her. To this day I still consider her one of my closest friends. Fun fact; we hated each other for a period of time.

Oof, now the girl I could seriously consider my second sister at this point- we met at the start of the year due to being one of the only four new kids in our dorm at school. We met during orientation, and haven't separated since. She's hilarious and always up for a fight, but luckily the mum friend in me always stop her before she does something stupid haha.

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

Mate, you've got a lot to learn. I know it seems like your life is great and you know everything there is to know, but tone down the know it all and actually give people the time of day to talk to you. You never know, maybe you'll stop being lonely.

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

You know, I actually really love netball; the sport, if you haven't heard of it before. My friend plays it and I got to be good at it when I was younger, but I hated the girls at my school therefore I didn't pursue it, so my netball career never exactly started off. Would definitely give it a good go now, in fact I'm starting next year. It's never too late!

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

I can't answer this. Personally, I relate to Georgie from Heartland; gosh, I love her. She is mature and level headed, but underneath that calm personality shows a girl who doesn't know what she's doing the next day, let alone with her life.

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

Hm. My style is really simple, so it'd probably be full of comfy t-shirts, 5sos merch, SuggLife hoodies, black skinny jeans and Converse. Maybe a pair of vans or my slippers. Life would be great my dudes. Ooh, actually I would love to have a shit ton of makeup just to experiment and play around. It's a lot of fun tbh.

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

I was going to say nothing, but then I thought about this tomato pasta thing my mum makes and I used to HATE it- like my mum would threaten me with bed or eating it and I'd just go to bed- but now I actually adore it and it's probably one of my favourite meals; especially with heaps of parmesan cheese. Yum.

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

I'm one of those people that doesn't really have unpopular opinions- either I think of them right before they become popular, or I see someone say something and I just agree with it. That being said, I ship Joe and Byron hardcore and no one really seems to so I guess that counts?

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

I would die on the first day. I'm no good when I'm camping, I can't imagine how I'd be in that kind of situation. I'd probably hide somewhere and never come out.

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

Anna Maynard! She is so humble and shy and relatable and GORGEOUS. Her eyes look gorgeous against her blonde hair, and she always wins with her makeup. Total babe, 10/10 would recommend. Also super happy for her with her new gig hosting a talent show, that sounds awesome!

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

Yes, actually! I used to dream that the house on the end of my street was haunted- I moved before I could explore it sadly. I might try when I go back there for the Summer

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

Well actually, it's spring for me oops but hey. I can join the Americans/ the Brits for a while. Honestly, this spring for me would be the prime time for me to work on my horse riding, especially my jumping since that's my favourite thing. I'd also like to start my first full- length Joe x Byron story after my exams.

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

Math. I HATE math and I'm the dyslexic where I only struggle with math (I mess numbers up constantly, can't keep track of formulas, think a 7 is a 1 sometimes etc etc...) so if I could improve anything it would be my math. My ATAR score would soar up. That or my plant production course- I'm not the best at that course and I don't enjoy it but I'd like to try harder in it and improve my grades.

bonfire - describe your dream house.

I'm one of those sad people who are either in the middle of the city with everything accessible, or a farm with a tiny town fifteen minutes away. I'm kind of leaning toward the farm (I'm at agricultural school so I'm biased lmao) so that my kids have plenty of room to run around, get dirty, and learn how to take care of themselves. I'm big on independence but also being able to scrape your knee etc. I'm not a bubble wrap-type of person, I don't think.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

You know what? This is going to sound so random, but I would love to visit the 1850's during the gold rush in Victoria, Australia- a lot happened and I would have loved to experience it. I've done a lot of research about those times and they were rough, but I think it'd make you a better person in the long run.

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

I graduate next year lol, not sure I'll miss it for a couple of months after that.

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

My eyelashes and my eyes! Since I'm Irish, my hair is really thick and it's dark so my eyelashes are naturally long and thick. I always get lots of compliments on them which is really nice for an insecure little shit like me. My eyes also get lots of compliments since they change with my mood hahahaha.

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

I was standing in line for Maccas and one person tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and she complimented me on my SuggLife hoodie! It was really nice of her but super sudden. I can't really call that weird but I still remember it. It's either that or the time a guy pushed me out of the way as he ran from the cops. That was terrifying.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

I hate tea (with a passion), and I don't drink normal coffee since it reacts badly with my anxiety medication. I drink decaf though, and I put in two teaspoons of both coffee and sugar, sometimes a little more sugar than coffee. I'm more of a hot chocolate person to be honest.

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

I've seen a lot of shit, been through a lot of shit, but I don't believe humans are inherently bad. I think there's always a breaking point for everyone, and once it's reached it's hard for someone to go back to the way they were.

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

I'm freakishly neat a majority of the time, but when I'm sad I don't clean my room or change my sheets and it gets really gross. That reminds me, I need to clean my room again.

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?

To go on a bad date, you have to have been on a date right?

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

I wish I still had my long hair! I recently chopped all the ombre off and now my hair barely goes past my shoulders which sucks. I'd love to redo my ombre when my hair is a lot longer and healthier. I want it healthy before I damage it again.

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

Yes, actually. It sounds random but I grew up with this guy since we were born (he's two months older than me) and we sort of hated each other but I was honest with him and he was honest with me, we had a good system. Our parents were close friends and I haven't talked to him at all since I moved from Victoria, but I wish him all the best. He was one of the rudest, asshole-ish guys when I was a kid, but it kept me on my toes so I guess that's a good thing.

I'm also tagging people on Wattpad! For Tumblr, I tag: @seductivebuttercreams. Good luck

#byron langley #mypast #myfuture #mystory #joe sugg #thatcherjoe

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crunchta · 7 years ago

Note

1-70 BINCH

Goddamn it sned

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yeah? For the most part

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My parents

03: Do you regret anything?

Yeah

04: Are you insecure?

Eh, yes ? Only abt a few things.

05: What is your relationship status?

Single

06: How do you want to die?

Either by a heart attack or stroke, or in a sword fight. Or by doing something badass

07: What did you last eat?

Bagels

08: Played any sports?

Soccer, basketball, horseback riding and I’ve been wanting to do track since the 8th grade

09: Do you bite your nails?

10: When was your last physical fight?

A couple days ago with my brother

11: Do you like someone?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Nope

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

My parents always taught me that hate and love are very strong words and to use them only when you mean it. But no I don’t hate anyone

14: Do you miss someone?

Yeah. Friends and others.

15: Have any pets?

A cat! Named Diana, after Wonder Woman

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I feel like I’m always slightly anxious or paranoid idk. But Im watching tv and taking science notes and I’m gonna make my Mom naan bread so I’m ok rn

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nope

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Fuck yes

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Definitely

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

France

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Yesterday I went horseback riding and went to the mall and today I have hw and am gonna make a lot of food lmao

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I’m not sure. I honestly think I’d want a couple teenagers. Like I’d adopt kids. Maybe 2 at first. At most like 5. I’m not sure why that many. Maybe bc I don’t think it would be that hard or maybe bc I want to give lots of kids a home and share my wisdom

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Just my ears are pierced

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Art, English, maybe history? At the moment I have an 88 or higher in all my classes.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah

26: What are you craving right now?

Garlic naan bread, hot chocolate. Whipped cream. Strawberry’s. Grilled cheese.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?I don’t think so

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

No.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yeah

30: What’s irritating you right now?

The face that I need to study and am not and that I have one test and then I’m done with a class but I keep putting it off

31: Does somebody love you?

Yeah? I think?

32: What is your favourite color?Blue

33: Do you have trust issues?

I don’t think so

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

In my last dream I was trying to get high without my parents catching me and then i was in San Diego at a play with a few friends and I kept trying to find someone else and it was weird

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t remember. I try not to cry in front of people

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yeah. But when I stop then it’s bc I’m just done

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

I usually forgive but never forget and I can hold a grudge for a long time. It also depends on what happened. Give it a year I maybe be 80% over whatever happened depending on what it was

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

I mean it’s definitely in the top several. It’s okay so far

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

14?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

If I have then I don’t remember lmaoo

51: Favourite food?

Steak, grilled vegetables Fries. Bacon. Bread rolls. Garlic naan bread. Banana bread. Pasta. Grilled cheese

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I have such a hard time explaining how I see fate and destiny because I’m never sure what’s going to happen or how it’s going to or if whatever we did was right or if it leads to where we’re supposed to go or end up with it’s all v complicated

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I looked up rain noises on Amazon music and put that on before I fell asleep

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

If Im mean it’s either in a kidding way or in a way where I’m trying mot to be vulnerable

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Just my brothers

57: Do you believe in true love?

I’d like to think that it exists

58: Favourite weather?Rain

59: Do you like the snow?

Yeah!!

60: Do you wanna get married?

Yeah one day

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

If a boy I like calls me baby, that’s a no but if a girl I like calls me baby I melt. It’s weird. Some friends call me babe and like with certain ppl that’s okay but not with others

62: What makes you happy?

Making ppl laugh. Making art.

63: Would you change your name?

Nah

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Considering I don’t even remember who it was, yes.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Jokes on you I don’t have a best friend of the opposite sex. I guess there’s Kai but he’s gay so I’d be like go make out with your bf and tell me if you still feel this way

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Nah

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My little brother

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Zara

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe in a form of soulmates

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

A couple ppl

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icharchivist · 7 years ago

Text

Okay this start to seriously annoy me (as in angering me, not “making me spiral down out of controle” (edit; okay maybe a little but hi that’s me from the future and i’m doing fine, i’m just annoyed but no breakdown there, not really)) so bear with me, but also, tw: s/uicidal & selfh/arm mention and stuff like that. I’m super annoyed at my mom. (also generally it’s in general for all my #ichapersonal posts but pls d/on’t r/eblog especially not this one bc i’m just. so. damn annoyed.)

Also it’s really just ranting because i really need to let it out this is seriously weighing at this point I just need to rant it out;

(also it’s a long post so if you’re on mobile and the readmore didn’t work and you want to avoid it go quickly blacklist either my tag or #longpostforts, it’ll hide the post for your dash)

My mom has this tendencies to always bitch about “kids who says “I’ve never asked to be born””. She had been bitching about it for as long as I can remember bc if i recall, my elder sister (yknow the one who ended up running away from home, never to be seen again for what, 17 years now (17 years?? holy fuck how time flies)(also i’m starting to really feel like she made the right decision at this point)) actually told her that at some point while they fought.

bc my mom believes children should be grateful of life given, that “life is a gift”.

So regularly she goes on rants about how “kids who says “they never wanted to be born” are so ungrateful, life is a gift, you should be grateful to your parents, to me” (she singles herself out everytime) “for how much time and effort we take to raise you, we give you a chance in this world how can you be ungrateful and say you never wanted it”, and stuff like that.

You’d think that after having me spelling her out that i’ve been s/uicidal since i’m 13 she would change her fucking reasoning but nooooo

This is so unnerving. I’ve heard all my life that kids thinking birth is a curse or w/e are ungrateful toward their parents but is she seriously the fuck hearing herself??? It’s not about the fucking parents, if a child tells you that, be concerned about what it means of their suffering, not about what it means for the parents, you apathic selfish person.

My whole life had been a struggle i would have gladly spared myself with thank you very much.”life is a gift” so were the multiple trials I had to manage as a teenager because both of my parents were unable to manage their fucking divorce? I’m sorry what about my life is a gift to me? As far as I know I’ve been the emotional backbone of this freaking family for years and had been there for all of my mother’s breakdowns, but I’ve never had that back. I was the gift to at least try to soften the blows, but it wasn’t a gift for me that’s for sure. Life sure wasn’t a gift when I first told my mom i was s/uicidal and had s/elf harmed and that the only thing she told me was “look I have more important things to deal with okay” (see, the kind of petty things i still remember and I’ve yet to have a proper apology about because “nooo but Chloé I wasn’t doing okay you can understand” hA. Jokes on you I had YOUR CONCERNS, MY FATHER’s and MY OWN and back then I was getting out of an ab/usive relationship with my ex and the fact i just lost most of my friends at once while i was trying to manage how the fuck I could at least ease the issues between my parents and with my ex’s jealousy & aftermath, also my own mom’s h.omophobia when i was trying to bring up that aspect was sure helpful, also freaking important exams coming, and also remember it was when you completely fucked up your relationship with my other sister that I also had to manage, “i wasn’t doing okay” neither did i but i’ve never shut you down that I know of.)

Or at least it wasn’t for me, since then my mom ran to tell my dad to say “see our daughter is s/uicidal because of you!” (no??? I didn’t say that??? even if it was true I didn’t??) and since then had my dad using it against me on official paper (you never know true love until your dad try to tell a judge that “because of the de/ression given by your mom” you were “untrustworthy” and that therefore he shouldn’t give you any money and that you learn that upon reading the judgement’s request) and making s.uicide jokes in front of me about me to people i don’t know (which!! he did!! right before I cut ties with him! in front of clients of him!! seriously why do i have those fucking parents.) But hey i’m sure it was a good “gift” for my mom to have something to guilttrip my dad with for ONE trial which turned against her considering how he used it. WHAT A GIFT.

GUH this is something I hate, I have a lot of wounds like that that I don’t even care about anymore (or at least don’t think about because no one can change the past and it’s something to live with) and our relationship has evolved past this point, but then she says this kind of things and all that bitterness comes back full blown.

We’ve discussed about it. I told her. I had to hammer it down multiple times (HA. And even there how much of those conversations ended up being “it’s because of your father/your abandon issues about your sister? Because me too you know, this is hard for me too here’s how it affects me and let’s not talk about your self destructive tendencies” wow thanks mom) How can she so carelessly throw this kind of things. We’ve discussed about it more than once for fuck’s sake. And she throws it in front of my step dad, the one person we can’t talk about mental health with because the guy always have a mean comment to make about it and doesn’t believe in d/epression this family is a fucking joke.

“Kids saying “i’ve never asked to be born” are ungrateful, life is a gift that i gave you” fuuuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

I don’t even know why she said that out loud, I was just walking from the living to my room and I have no idea of the context, but I legit just snapped at her telling her to fucking stop with that and she tried to defend myself like “do you know how hurtful it is to hear from a kid that they never asked to be born” you don’t say, do you know how hurtful it is to hear from your own parents that your self destructive tendencies due to how much said parents put you through are “not important”?

Ya know what’s even funnier -because my parents told me about that- Apparently they wanted me so much when I wasn’t born yet that they almost tried to do a fertility boost while i was already a featus and it would have killed the featus to do it and it’s just last minute that they realized “wait there’s already a baby inside” - good for my parents, lost my chance it seems. (also fun fact since I was born strangled by the cordon thingy, it’s like i was too stubborn to die what a moron @ me). AND, WHAT MY PARENTS DECIDED TO TELL ME, freaking beautiful really, is that when they did the echography to see what my birthgender was, my father was so dissappointed over hearing I was a girl (and that therefore i’ll be the 3rd girl of the family) that he left my mom who was pregnant with me at the hospital. He actually took the car and drove back home, home that was 30 mins away from the hospital in car, and he left my mom alone at the hospital. She had to call her best friend to bring her back home. My father blamed my mom because ofc he has the genetic understanding of Henry VIII.

as a result i spent my entiere childhood feeling like i wasn’t wanted by my dad bc he told me all my life he would rather have had a boy and always made it feel like i wasn’t good enough, and my mom always priviligized my sisters (which may be a result of me being the younger one of the family, but then when I was 7 I had my elder sister (who was a/utistic so my mom was always overbearing with her before she left) running away from home and my other sister who right afterward almost died due to medical complication, having my mom overprotecting her especially that close to the departure of my other sister and she kept being overprotective afterward. That may have played a part. And i mean when we come to have convos where my mom ignores me completely unless i mention my sisters? And the fact she willingly admit that she “doesn’t want to force herself to care about things she doesn’t care about” while mentioning that she has more in common with my sister than I? Ya that doesn’t help the feeling. But ya know it’s just ~the youngest sibling feeling~ lmao) - Also my mom who l o ves to remind me that apparently I was an overdynamic child who was a nightmare to take care of because I was hyperactive, so she was always tired and loves to remind that it was hard for her to handle me, that sure didn’t play at all in making me feel unwanted. Especially when she’s unable to say anything about me that doesn’t come from the time i was “an unbearable hyperactive child who completely stopped her from wanting any more children” because of course this is the kind of things you say to a child and you make good care that you only ever talk about that and not anything else about said child even if the latest actual anecdote (that isn’t “actually blowing off because this family is hell” she never mentions those lmao) dates back from when said child was 9.

(also it adds to the whole “with all the time we took to raise you” what i was taught by my parents is that i was unadequate and would never be enough, thanks - all my morals i got them in fictions and online all i’ve learnt from my parents was a caucionary tale of what I should never become. Which is also something that annoys me when, the rare times my mom says she’s proud of me, she always adds “i’m so proud to have educated you this way” and it’s always, always on subject that i’ve learnt online or in fiction and regularly things I got mad at my mom for not knowing so ye fuck that. It’s too easy to just take other’s people achievement as your own and refuse to listen when they tell you to stop.)

lmao did i ever mention too, my previous therapist and i discussed a lot about my d/epression and while i personally pinpoint my 13yo as my breaking undeniable point (because when you are hurting yourself because the physical pain makes you forget the emotional pain, this is time to stop prentending nothing bad is happening), my therapist said i had symptoms already when I was 7yo but i was too young to recognize them and since it’s the year the brain usually have a huge development, i developped all the unhealthy coping mechanism - but she also mentioned that the fact my father went to abandon my mom at the hospital because of me, was probably at least a bad vibe that carried on all my life.

So ya!!! beautiful!!! I spent my whole life from the womb to feel unwanted, to the point i completely shut down and thrived upon people appreciating me, which put me as a target for being b/ullied so much i just ended up not get too emotionally invested in anyone and emotionally distant in general after too much fuck up from my part by trying to be loved, and which was so determined to please all my life that I tried to fix everyone’s miserable lives around me until my mental health gave up completely.

(and like don’t get me wrong - my parents made me feel unwanted all my life, i was b/ullied up until high school, i lost all the friends I had before high school because of the a/busive relationship i ended up winding up into, and it fucked me over. It truly did. But I don’t think i’m “unloveable” I think just that it doesn’t matter to try. My high school friends, who are the people i consider my best friends today, are the most precious thing that happened to me and I will never second guess how they care for me. I have wonderful friends all around the world, I don’t feel “unloveable”. But i do feel like not wanting to try. If people leave, I won’t care because eh that happens. Even if i know my friends are here for me, and that I will always want to be there for them and support them, I can’t bring myself to go to them unprompted when i feel bad - even if i know they don’t consider me a burden I was taught all my life my emotions were such anyway. Things that are hard to unlearn. But there’s no “no one loves me” or ignoring completely my qualities there. I consider it a miracle i’m this kind while i’m this bitter, that I care so much about things even if i know it’s coping mechanism, but that i can still get this enthusiast about things sometimes - and honestly when I look back i recognize that i’m strong, even if i don’t consider myself strong enough considering how everything still goes wrong and I can’t go back on my feet no matter what, so much my own physical health is sending me SOS. But i’m not blind to the point of ignoring that it takes strength to get this far- i’m just so, so tired of having to be strong all the time and knowing if i let weakness in for one moment all hell breaks loose for me.)

“Life is a gift it’s ungrateful to tell a parent you never wanted to be born” hi, i never asked to be born, you never made me feel like i had any reason to want to be alive except for what I could bring you and you only, i’ve never thought i’d live past 18 and was s/uicidal at a young age because i felt unwanted and felt like carrying everyone’s burden. Y’know, things we talked about multiple times.

“ye but your elder sister made it associate to a trauma” well that’s a trauma for me as well thank you very much.

See, this is what actually sickens me with my parents. This sort of thin veiled sentences that somehow hit right in the nest of everything that once went wrong in my fucking life. This sort of little sentences that are even worse to me than actual insults because it disregard again everything we talked about. If i needed more proof (and i didn’t) that my parents never listen to me or care for my feelings outside of what it can bring them, this is a wonderful exemple.

I’m angry, i’m done, this family is a fucking mess, I’m tired. bye.

#sorry i got extremely angry at my family #ignoreignorebye #ichapersonal #longpostforts

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nekoabi · 7 years ago

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all 1-70

Right! Let’s go! (Anyone who is new, I usually put long asks like this under a cut so it doesn’t cover your dash... unless you’re on mobile... in which case... Sorry, I still love you!)

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?Yeah, I do, for the most part. They can frustrate me and get on my nerves, but overall, they’re great and support me in every way and I am so thankful for them

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?Not gonna lie to you, I have no idea... I said it to many people last night in a state of loopy, vaguely in pain, emotional weakness... I’m good now, dw

03: Do you regret anything?All the time, I regret opening up because I think people think I am looking for attention or something... In terms of stuff in my life, I do regret losing contact with some people...

04: Are you insecure?Heck ye.

05: What is your relationship status?I’m single...

06: How do you want to die?Changes on the daily, but quickly and as painlessly as possible.

07: What did you last eat?Nutella sandwich *takes another bite* Fucking good...

08: Played any sports?I played a bit of football as a kid, until I got tripped down a hill... Ofc I played stuff like netball, handball, rounders etc. in PE classes, but never for my own enjoyment.

09: Do you bite your nails?Yup, even now that I paint them I do!

10: When was your last physical fight?Uhhh... years ago, confrontation and phsyical harm are scary things...

11: Do you like someone?Ehhh... kinda? I’m too emotionally fucked atm to be thinking about it, but I definitely have some crushes, yeh

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?On multiple occasions. My record is almost 4 days.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?I hate a lot of people... mostly people that don’t know me...

14: Do you miss someone?All the time.

15: Have any pets?I wish! I want cats. All the cats.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?Um... numb is probably the best way, I’m kinda not really feeling anything atm...

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?Nope. I’ve only made out like twice in my life... fuck i’m lonely...

18: Are you scared of spiders?YUP. LET’S NOT TALK ARACHNOPHOBIA PLZ K BYE.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?To see how stuff was, yea. To change shit, nah fam.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?In said person’s bedroom.

21: What are your plans for this weekend?Cry and try to get assignments done.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?Not my own, but adopting, fuck ye. Idk how many tho, start with one. See how it goes.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?I don’t. I have a terrible pain threshold and I get super scared of almost anything new and unknown... but I want piercings because they’re so cool.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?Surprisingly, Science... and Performing Arts...

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?Oh hell yes.

26: What are you craving right now?A hug... and more chocolate *sadly eats sandwich*

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?I don’t think so... but maybe?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?Nope, but it was pretty close...

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?I don’t think so...

30: What’s irritating you right now?Myself. Why do I feel nothing atm? I want to be feeling something goddamnit!

31: Does somebody love you?I’d hope so! People say they do... but platonic. I don’t think anyone loves me any other way.

32: What is your favourite color?Black. Blood Red. Light Blue. Neon Pink. Deep Purple.

What? I am indecisive and can’t choose just one! Stop judging me.

33: Do you have trust issues?*laughs* yes.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?I.... have no idea.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?I mean, I told @not-so-innocent-bi-sander I was crying the other day when I was talking with her... does that count? If not, then my parents probably?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?In some cases, yes... In others, fuck you no.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?Forgive. I can’t forget stuff like that, for some reason...

38: Is this year the best year of your life?LOL NO. IT’S BEEN FUCKING HORRENDOUS LMAO! But it’s the best year in terms of making new friends... so that’s great

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?Uhhh... like end of Primary school/beginning of Middle school age? I can’t remember how old I was ffs.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?Probably as a very small child. Once I developed actual thought and selfconciousness about my body, HAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re so funny!

51: Favourite food?Cliche, but either pizza or burgers.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?When they happen to me, yes. When they happen to friends, fuck no they don’t deserve all the bad things!!!

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?Message people... I passed out while messaging last night, oopsie!

54: Is cheating ever okay?...Seriously? Is... is this a question?? I mean, on a spelling test, sure fuck it.

55: Are you mean?Probably. A little.

56: How many people have you fist fought?Like 0.

57: Do you believe in true love?Idk... I did for a while, but that fucked me over hardcore...

58: Favourite weather?Chilly but not too cold, heavy rain and thunderstorms, seeing the lighting through the dark, having the wind be audible and heading towards the window.

59: Do you like the snow?HELL YEAH! if i dont have anywhere to go...

60: Do you wanna get married?Yeah, if I have the right person.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?Depends... Sometimes, the context is... *pukes*

62: What makes you happy?Friends. Kingdom Hearts news. Chocolate. Friends.

63: Would you change your name?Nah, I like it

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?Yes... extremely. Because I really want to, but I know they don’t.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Uhhhh... Remind him that he’s gay af and that he’s basically my brother omg what the fuck?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?Yup, and he is basically my brother.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?@seventhdisaster

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Either people in discord chat, or @authordreaming13

69: Do you believe in soulmates? I mean... I’d like to? But I feel its very... optimistic and unrealistic... but then I’m a lonely, cynical asshole so what do I know?

70: Is there anyone you would die for? Sure. Multiple.

Well some of these got fucking deep and sad...

Thanks!

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r-ei · 7 years ago

Text

i was tagged by @meii-u thanks loser ;D

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? most of the time, they’re pretty passive, but sometimes they can be unreasonable or misunderstand me but i think that’s just how parents are lol

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? idk but i think it was to emi’s cats

3. do you regret anything? i regret not doing a lot of things because i lack confidence and motivation…oh and procrastinating in school

4. are you insecure? hell yeah bih

5. what is your relationship status? married to the game (art lol)

6. how do you want to die? i was reading my old journals and i said i wanted to die in a zombie apocalypse, the statement holds true (actually painlessly lying in the rain as violins play)

7. what did you last eat? i had a lilokoi cheesecake slice! (it wasn’t very good though)

8. played any sports? i did cheer leading in 2nd and 3rd grade if that counts

9. do you bite your nails? no i do not, my habits are rubbing my hands together, and playing with my hair

10. when was your last physical fight? probably with my brother a long time ago, i hit one of my ex-boyfriend’s face in freshmen year though omg he really pissed me off

11. do you like someone? i like my friends! no romance atm~

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no i’m weak

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? ‘merican pres y'all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

14. do you miss someone? sometimes my old friends i don’t talk to anymore, and my dog coco!

15. have any pets? no, there’s stray cat’s at my grandma’s house but they run away from me! my mom has a toy poodle but I don’t live with her

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? bored and hopeful

17. ever made out in the bathroom? oh god nooo

18. are you scared of spiders only when they’re huge and moving towards me

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? definitely! i’d change a lot of things and experience all the fun parts again~

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? i really don’t like that term but 3-4 years ago at my ex-boyfriend’s house~ freshman me got the most action ;;

21. what are your plans for this weekend? draw, exercise, whatever comes up

22. do you want to have kids? how many? i don’t think i’ll ever want kids unless they’re adopted, and if i have a good amount of time and money

23. do you have piercings? how many? two, one on each ear

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? art, english (not punctuations), and history

25. do you miss anyone from your past? my teachers and some of my old friends

26. what are you craving right now? to finally watch voltron season 3!!! and that outback bread *eyeballs emi*

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart? freshman me broke a few~ now i just break my own heart ahhh

28. have you ever been cheated on? through texting?

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? i found out they cried after i broke up with them ;; (y'all dodged a bullet though trust me)

30. what’s irritating you right now? these questions reminding me i’m not good with relationships?!

31. does somebody love you? i would hope my family and friends do!

32. what is your favorite color? pastel lavender (ccccff code)

33. do you have trust issues? sometimes, i mostly don’t trust myself to not screw something up though lol

34. who/what was your last dream about? i dreamt i gave money to a thief before they tried to steal it and helped him/her escape, then suddenly i was walking in a forest and there was a strange noise and the thief was there and told me something bad was coming to destroy the forest so i started running but omg dream running is hard and the thief said it was too late so i asked them to help me escape, they said it was impossible, but i kept begging and they finally agreed and the scene changed and we were in a neighborhood. it was a pretty cool idea for a story!

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my high school counselor

36. do you give out second chances too easily? depends on the relationship and their reputation with me? i sort of weigh that with whatever they did wrong

37. is it easier to forgive or forget forgiving because i remember bad things easily ;;

38. is this the best year of your life? it’s been boring and super disappointing! i’m hoping next year will be better~

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? 14 and it was awkward

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? omg no why would i

41. favorite food? this is hard since i love drinks and desserts (unhealthy boi) but i love my mom’s cooking it’s the best (especially the filipino dishes!) her pork adobo, pancit, banana lumpia, curry, and custard, oh god i’m making myself hungry ;; i could always go for california rolls and crêpes though!

42. do you believe everything happens for a reason? nah shit just happens (technically everything happens for a reason just not in the mystical fate sense) semantics smh

43. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? i was reading my cringy old stories from middle school

44. is cheating ever okay? nope, only to thicken a bad romance plot

45. are you mean? i try to be nice and polite unless someone does something really bad (this was the year i realized i’d never be able to like everyone, there’s a lot of scumbags in the world smh)

46. how many people have you fist fought? zero! just in my head~

47. do you believe in true love? sometimes? i’m sure it exists if you can find the right algorithm

48. favorite weather? thunderstorms (when i’m at home) or breezy fair weather

49. do you like the snow? i’d like to see it and play with it but not live with it

50. do you want to get married? too soon to tell

51. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? maybe to other people but not me

52. what makes you happy? wifi, friends, food, art, music, happy endings in real life, seeing people do good things for others, funny posts, weekends, traveling, taking good photos, perfect eyeliner

53. would you change your name? yeah! it would take a long time to decide though, i’d probably just make my name “rae” or something with a cool sound/meaning

54. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? yeah since we haven’t spoken in years and left on bad terms and he lives in nevada or california now

55. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? kindly friend zone them (it’s not worth risking a best friend) 56. do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can act your complete self around? maybe? i can barely act myself around most of my friends regardless of gender!

57. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? the guy in t-mobile lmao

58. who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? emi gets all the deep convos

59. do you believe in soulmates? yes! i think they can form in any relationship whether it’s a friend, family member, or significant other! (hope that doesn’t sound creepy? i just mean someone on the same wavelength, who really gets you)

60. is there anyone you would die for? depends on the way i’d have to die, i’d probably do it for my close friends and family! or idk someone who’s got a cure for a terrible disease?

tagging: @emis if you want boi~

#text #ask meme #long post #about me #q&a

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