#The cast is in no way capable of looking good right now
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resquices-of-godhood · 1 day ago
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Slut squid I mean, He of Blight
Kallamar: He of Blight, First Brother, Tried to escape through lies. Kallamar is a lean looking squid with just enough padding to entice people to take this slut of a man to bed. He is between Narinder and Leshy in height. He has a triangular mouth that, much like Heket, he tries to not open completely to better fit into the cult, as well as four arms. His ears are torn, result from the fight to imprison Narinder, and he has a scar over his left eye, an even older wound from the time of the god wars. He has no legs, instead using his tentacle, which sprout from his hips, in leau of.
Kallamar is a pathetic squid of a man. Cowardly and dramatic, he avoids confrontations like it was a fire. At the same time, though, he quickly becomes the gossip central of the cult after indoctrination and recovering from his sickness, and his sense of fabulousness is impeccable. Leoda begrudgingly allows such behaviors so long as they remain harmless. Gayne finds it hilarious. He uses a horn to help hearing and learn sign language to be able to communicate when that isn't enough.
Kallamar used to be quite sickly and without a way to be cured during the god wars, though this changed when he found his crown. While it stopped the disease's progression and symptoms at the time, he was never cured, so, as soon as he was no longer connected to the blue crown, it came back in full force. Luckily, Saleos is a capable healer and familiar with the many diseases his former god and husband wielded, so a week of bed rest and some medicine was all that was needed.
Pretty much right after, Kallamar starts (re)forming his polycule harem in the cult, gaining a reputation for being the cult's slut. He doesn't mind. In fact, he thrives in the attention.
Where he doesn't thrive, however, is at manual labor. His squid body is not well suited for things that his sister has no problems dealing with. His many tentacles and nimble hands are amazing for precision work, however, and he proves himself a skilled jeweler. More surprising, though, is the fact that the former god of Pestilence is an accomplished healer in his own right. He dismisses the shock on others with the fact that he dealt with sickness and disease on a daily basis, he should at least know how to treat them for the sake of his followers.
After joining Leoda in a crusade to Anchor Deep, Kallamar is called by Narinder to talk in private. They are afraid of going, because why wouldn't he? He is going to meet the one that ripped his ears to shreds all on his lonesome. Still, he goes, where one mean comment born from fear devolves into throwing grievances towards each other, until Narinder mentions how Kallamar was too coward to call out Shamura on the imprisonment plan when the panther was working to help his entire family, not just his cult. That gave the squid pause, before realizing how big the damage was and apologized. The two brothers made up afterwards, though Narinder never did apologize for the jump scares.
Kallamar has retained his ability to cast curses without a crown, but they can't hold as much fervor as when they were a Bishop. Kallamar suffers from backlash whenever they try to cast a curse, but they can still use two or three of them before needing to find a source of fervor.
As soon as he was brought back, his former disciples and witness practically threw themselves onto him, having missed their god husband. Despite everything, Kallamar is a good spouse and treated them well while he was a Bishop, and things aren't about to change now that he is mortal again. Well, ok, perhaps he did start expanding his harem, but can you blame him?
Kallamar's crown was the Blue Crown, which lords over the domains of Pestilence (plague) and Fortune (gems). It is the definition of a sickly Victorian noble child, bratty and fragile, which reflects in user. Its abilities and Kallamar's Resquices of Godhood are Plague Bearer and Crystal Growth. The former makes so the bearer is capable of spreading disease by their mere presence. As a resquice, the potency of those plagues are very diminished. The later makes the bearer capable of making gems and crystals grow, ruining any cut that might have been used on them, but producing more of the same stone. Without a crown, however, the process is slower and requires a liquid medium to absorb the minerals (water is usually enough).
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frenchgremlim1808 · 8 months ago
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i love you people who draw scars around the cast necks. Love you people who draw the cast with the hair messy. Love you people who draw the cast with visible eye bags and tired sore eyes. Love you people who draw the cast exhausted sick and not fit for this. Love you people who draws the cast never forgetting the absolute horror that they had to live trough
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alexiroflife · 5 months ago
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"phobia"
i literally can't stop writing for this mf, flufffff :(
satoru gojo x reader
Synopsis: you are an incredibly talented sorcerer, but your deadly fear of spiders tends to interfere with your daily life every now and then. it doesn't help when you happen to encounter a curse that looks just like one
to sum it up: satoru is always there for you to kill a spider when you need him to
WC: 2,764
Warning(s): arachnophobia, icky spiders
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The burden of a Jujutsu Sorcerer was taxing beyond comprehension, which of course was why it paid so well.
Sorcerers were expected to give their lives each day within the battlefield, watching as their comrades and the people they were expected to protect die left and right at the hands of the morbid amalgamations of human beings’ worst possible fears, anxieties, doubts, and other nasty negative emotions.
To be a sorcerer was to sacrifice oneself, to accept death before it inevitably took its toll on those around you, and then eventually, on you yourself. This was why sorcerers were expected and trained to be strong, fierce, and with perhaps a few screws loose in their heads to allow them to plow full force into danger with no fears and no regrets. 
Sorcerers were meant to be fearless.
And in many ways, you truly were. You were a first grade sorcerer, more than capable of handling yourself in the face of adversity. You were proficient, quick on your feet, merciless when you had to be, and above all, you were confident in your abilities, which was just as important of a trait to have as a sorcerer as courageousness. 
You were a proud woman, content that you could put your skills to good use by aiding those who were weak and helpless, by saving as many lives as you could alongside your colleagues at Jujutsu Tech. 
You were a damn good sorcerer too, only, there remained a small matter that often seemed to creep up on you at the worst of times. Something you had tried desperately to overcome through years of training, therapy, private meetings with Yaga, and more. Something that had been clinging to you since the very moment you were born, and something you were still somehow unable to completely escape well into your twenty-sixth year of life. 
And that was your deathly fear of spiders.
You admitted that it was silly, that to have made it this far within the world of sorcery after having encountered more horrors than most people could imagine, a little fear of spiders was completely absurd. You knew it didn’t make any sense, that this fear of yours was beneath you, but that didn’t stop you from shrieking horribly and seeking shelter each time you saw a spider crawling along the wall of your apartment. 
You knew that you should have had more patience with yourself, for there was no way of conquering a fear if you refused to acknowledge it as valid, but come on. You were a grade 1 sorcerer for god’s sake, a professor at Jujutsu High teaching students to cast their fears aside to focus their emotions and energies into properly honing in on their techniques, yet you still couldn’t get over being squeamish any time you saw those little demons hurdling their way over the earth. 
In your mind, they were far worse than curses, a source of terror that must have been executed. 
Nevertheless, you kept your fears to yourself for the sake of your occupation and reputation. The only person who knew anything about this vulnerability of yours was your boyfriend, Satoru, and even he found it funny at times to tease you about such a small thing in a world plagued by monsters and curse-users. He had seen you slice open a curse all the way down the middle of its body with a blank face, blood spattering in all directions, but spiders were what got you. 
While he poked fun, he still harbored an understanding that beneath the hardened exterior sorcerers were forced to put up, you were all born of flesh and blood just as any other living being on this planet. 
Satoru was quick to rush to your apartment whenever you called him screaming, standing atop your bed and jumping up and down on your cushions in fear upon catching sight of one of those nasty things. He would throw your door open, catch you in your rather comical position, and hold back a fit of laughter upon seeing you.
“SATORU, SHUT UP AND JUST KILL IT! PLEASE!”
“Calm down, pretty, it’s not gonna hurt you,” he would say, a sickening smirk gracing his gorgeous features. “You’ve faced much worse things than this.”
“I don’t care!” you’d sob. “Just kill it please!”
And once he was finished picking on you, he’d hurry to your aid, approaching the bug in the corner and flicking his finger, rendering the creature dead. 
Then afterwards, he’d always hold out his arms for you to jump down into them once you determined it was safe, cooing into your ear as you threw your arms and legs around him, his hand holding your head. 
“You were so brave, baby. Good job, you got through it.”
It was humbling, to say the least, for the strongest to witness you in such a weak state, but despite Satoru’s teasing, he still took you very seriously. He didn’t diminish your strengths or your worths because of a simple fear. Hell, he had fears that he had buried deep within his gut that only you could drag out of him, and that was okay. Satoru poked fun, but he never judged his precious girl for feeling. 
After all, he enjoyed the fact that you were comfortable enough to let him see you in such a light after long days of having to be strong, just like him. He liked that he could help you with this one thing, even if it meant teleporting into your room at two in the morning on a work day. As long as he was taking care of you, he didn’t care less what you needed. When you needed him, he would be at your aid within a heartbeat. 
And in this moment, you really, really did need him.
Yaga had sent you on a quick solo mission to eradicate a few low grade curses at a nearby summer camp facility while most of the other sorcerers were busy with training or on leave for other missions. It was a quick and easy task for you, granted that your grade was much higher than those of the curses you would be exorcizing.
Only, what Yaga failed to inform you, and likely did not know or care about, was that one of these particular curses was unlike the rest. While you easily winded through the three other creatures, the very last one at the end of the corridor caught you by surprise. 
Your face was hardened as you whipped your head around, sensing the presence of the last curse within the space. Once your eyes landed on the source of the cursed energy, however, your face dropped and your eyes shrank in terror.
There before you cowered a three foot tall dark purple curse which took an arachnoid shape, with an array of beady red eyes atop its head and eight hair legs digging into the wood of the floorboards. Your heart dropped and your mouth ran dry, your body freezing in its tracks. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t think, you couldn’t do anything. Of all the first grade curses you had come across in your lifetime, this grade 3 creature would be the very first thing that stood between you and seeing the light of day.
The curse hissed, chattering its chelicerae-like mouth as its legs tapped restlessly against the floor, sending a horrid shiver up your spine. You were stronger than this, braver than this, you knew you were, but your legs had gone to jelly and your heart was pounding in your ears. Perhaps if you had been given a warning ahead of time. you would have been able to approach this threat differently, but instead, much to your shame, you took off in the opposite direction once your legs willed you to move. 
You could hear it crawling after you down the hall, screeching out nonsensical sounds as it rounded the corner to follow you. You were quick to duck into the first room you saw, slamming the door shut behind you and pressing your back against the surface. You searched the room in a panic, which you discovered to be a dorm, and ran to take cover in a closet in the corner.
You trembled, sinking down to the bottom of the platform as heavy, panicked breaths wracked your body. This was pathetic. This was humiliating. You were better than this, but god, this fear, those damned spiders would always get the best of you, despite how hard you tried to help it. 
You were trembling, squeezing your eyes shut as whimpers spilled from your quivering lips. That thing was so big, bigger than any spider you had encountered, and while you understood it was a curse, it looked far too real. 
You didn’t know what to do. You had to finish this mission, and the principal wouldn’t accept a sorry excuse about you being too afraid to exorcize a curse because it looked like a spider for an answer as to why you would come running back to the school. It sounded ridiculous! Especially for someone with your skill. 
You could hear the creature running up and down the halls erratically, its gross legs clicking against the walls. You pressed your lips together tightly, wrapping your arms around yourself. You wanted this to stop.
Hesitantly, you reached into the pocket of your uniform to shakily pull out your phone. You breathed out heavily, on the verge of a panic attack, trembling fingers dialing your boyfriend’s number with his. You lifted the phone to your ear and listened to it ring.
Then it clicked.
“Hello? Baby?” Satoru’s comforting voice spoke into the phone, a sigh of relief escaping you. “What’s up? You done with that little mission yet?”
“S-Satoru?” you whispered, voice trembling harshly. Immediately, the sorcerer on the other line knew something was off.
“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” his tone dropped with urgency. “What happened? Are you okay?”
You pursed your lips again, muffling a pathetic sob that was prepared to break past your mouth. You scrunched your eyes closed, the confined space doing very little to ease your nerves. Satoru could only hear the choked whines that left you, and he was on his feet, captured with instant worry. 
“Baby, talk to me. I need to know you’re okay. Tell me what happened. Where are you?”
“T-The…” you stammered, struggling to get it out.
“Deep breaths, pretty. Breathe.”
You gulped, knocking your head back against the wood, taking a moment to release a few sharp breaths. “The camp,” you managed to whimper. 
“You’re still there?” he asked, almost incredulously. “Did something happen? Were the curses higher grades than you were told? I’m on my way right now.”
“No, i-it’s,” you shook, pressing your phone to your forehead. ���It’s- a s-spider…”
There was a pause as Satoru processed what you were saying. “A spider?” he repeated. “What do you mean?”
“The last curse,” you exhaled. “It’s a spider, Toru, it looks like a damn big ass spider,” you rambled. “I’m so scared, I'm sorry, please come help me.”
“Oh, baby,” he sighed. “I’m coming, don’t worry. Stay where you are, I’ll find you.”
You nodded rapidly, scrunching your face as tears pricked your eyes. “M-kay.”
You tucked your phone away and within exactly two seconds, you heard a whooshing sound from outside, followed by the screech of the curse. You heard its legs clatter along the walls once more before another tormented, animalistic cry, and then there was nothing. 
You waited silently, hugging your knees to your chest as footsteps ascended. “(Y/n)?!” you heard Satoru’s voice through the walls, and your shoulders slumped with alleviation. You heard the door to the room open and you slowly reached up to the closet door handle, creaking it open to peer outside.
There, you saw your boyfriend standing in the doorway, gaze finally landing on you beneath his blindfold. The moment he saw you, he dropped his arms, pained by the sight of you curled up in hiding out of fear. “(Y/n),” his gentle voice breathed out as he stepped further into the room, extending his arms in that same manner he always did when comforting you.
The second you saw the motion, you were breaking. The reality of your weakness came crashing down on you, and your lips wobbled as you climbed out of the closet and fell into his warm embrace. You shook against him, embarrassed, petrified. You were the partner of the strongest sorcerer of the modern age, and this was what you were. Powerless at the will of a low grade curse.
“It’s alright, baby, I’m here. Please don’t cry, pretty. It’s okay, I got you,” he murmured against your temple, pressing his soft lips to it then to the crown of your head as you buried your face in his chest. 
“Satoru,” you sniffled into him, clinging to the fabric of his black suit as he wrapped you into his warmth.
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” 
“I-Is it gone?”
“Yeah, baby. I got rid of it. It’s all gone, don’t worry,” he whispered. He hated seeing you like this. Normally when you faced spiders, the interaction was far more lighthearted. You would screech, sure, but you had always recovered fairly quickly after he had killed one. Granted, you had never encountered a spider as big as the one that you just saw, but Satoru was aching upon  witnessing how rattled you were by this thing. “You got the rest of them, baby. You did so good, you know that? My strong girl.”
He was so loving with his praise as he eased you down from your high, rubbing your hair and pressing his palm to your waist, letting you know that you were safe with him. 
“M’sorry,” you mumbled into him and he looked down, pulling away slightly to hear you better and to get a look at your face. He tilted your chin up so that you could look at him, your eyes glossy and your brows pinched.
“What are you sorry for, pretty?” he asked you genuinely, heart clenching as he smoothed his thumb over your flushed cheek. 
“Cause,” you sniffed again. “I should’ve been able to handle this. It’s so stupid. I dragged you here to get rid of something so small.”
“Hey,” he said with firm tenderness, holding your cheek so that your eyes stayed on his. “Don’t do that.”
“B-But, I should be able to-”
“Stop. I won’t listen to you beat on yourself for being afraid,” he shook his head. “You’re so strong, (Y/n). You always have been, but we all have our weaknesses and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Says you,” you muttered, guilt catching your eyes. “You’re the strongest.”
“And you know better than anyone that that’s just a title,” Satoru said earnestly. “Yes there’s truth to it, but none of that takes away from the things that keep me up at night. Just like your grade doesn’t take away your fears.”
He traced the curve of your jaw softly, lifting his free hand to remove his blindfold and tuck it into his pocket. You watched as his white hair fell over his face and his sapphire eyes washed over you, displaying his loving, concerned, understanding gaze. 
“But that doesn’t mean we’re not strong. It’s okay to be scared as long as you know I’m here to help you, and as long as I know you’re here to help me.”
You could feel a lump building in your throat as he gazed at you and he curled his brows, jutting out his bottom lip slightly. 
“Don’t look at me like that, princess, you’ll make me cry,” he said, catching your face in both of his large palms as your hands moved to delicately hold his wrists. “C’mere, baby,” he whispered, drawing your forehead to his lips. The sorcerer then kissed the bridge of your nose and the edge of your brow before letting you fall back into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso as he held you close.
You melted into him and closed your eyes. “Love you, Satoru,” you murmured into him.
He kissed your head again, resting his cheek atop you. “I love you, too, (Y/n). Let’s get you home and all cleaned up, yeah?”
You nodded against him, thankful to the universe that the man you loved made being vulnerable feel like a gentle, welcoming, consuming form of unconditional love. 
But, fuck, did you hate spiders.
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mediacircuspod · 1 year ago
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This scene was absolutely beautiful BUT it’s also the crux of the issue. You guys this is where the problems start. Because—because Crowley’s already cast out, he finds COMFORT in the idea that they are lonely together. “As far as he can” becoming “as far as they can” is an END to his complete “otherness” and something to appreciate, to covet, and to find solace in. He’s finally not alone.
But—and this is important.
Aziraphale does NOT feel that. He can’t.
This moment is completely and utterly devastating for Zira. He finds out he’s not damned and sure, he’s relieved. But he’s no longer “an Angel” in the way that he’s learned is right. He’s now unchangeably and forever; less holy—a concept that is dearly important to his identity. “[Going] along with heaven as far as he can” is a FAILING on his part. Not heaven’s(at least to him). There is no solace or comfort—he finds existence like that—just the two of them—achingly LONELY. And that’s just how his perspective demands to be taken. It’s the only perspective he is capable of in that moment AND after it, too.
Take into account Crowley has went from having no one AT ALL to having SOMEONE. And he puts EVERYTHING he has into it. This is not good. It’s unfair to Aziraphale. And it’s unfair to himself. On the opposite side, you have Aziraphale. Who has just went from having the ENTIRE HEAVENLY HOST, to having this SINGLE demon— who, one minute ago, Aziraphale thought would be dragging him off to hell.
And the part that aches is that this perspective hasn’t changed. Aziraphale feels like his existence is lacking because he wants so badly to be GOOD. And good is Holy. Good is heavenly. He’s the problem for having morals that are misaligned.
Spoilers for the last episode:
Aziraphale has just been given the validation that he is not only GOOD but the most HEAVENLY Angel there is, the Supreme Archangel, even. And if heavens morals are now HIS morals, then that’s EVERY PROBLEM SOLVED. With a bow even, because Crowley’s basically on heavens side anyway, he’s GOOD, isn’t he? He’s been good this whole time, so why wouldn’t heaven want him back? Reinstating him as Angel would fix everything. They can be together, and they can be good, and they can be HOLY. All Aziraphale’s conflicting emotions about loving Crowley can be packed away because Crowley will be perfect again—and surely Crowley wants to be perfect—wants to be forgiven.(sorry everyone, that hurt me too, oof) Aziraphale is SHOCKED by Crowley’s refusal. He’s devastated that his version of perfect is treated as something naive and distasteful.
Crowley’s devastated too. He’s just lost “their side”. A concept that for 5000+ years has been THE ONLY THING he puts love into besides his car and perhaps his plants(And humanity, but he’ll never admit to that—I’m looking at the “No more dying” scene). Crowley is constantly being devastated by Aziraphale. He’s “too fast”, he’s too evil, he’s too good sometimes. Crowley has always been TOO MUCH. But this is different because for four years, he’s had “them”(on their own side) without the hiding, and without the denial and without Aziraphale constantly putting former jobs between them. PLUS he has a mountain of trauma centered around the concept of “forgiveness”, so that’s not great considering Aziraphale’s last words to him(THAT HE HASNT SAID ALL SEASON EVEN WHEN HE MADE CROWLEY APOLOGIZE IN THE FIRST EPISODE, AHHHHH). He’s losing everything and he’s desperate: Why isn’t he enough, hasn’t he been enough these last 4 years? Hasn’t HE been enough the last 6000?
Aziraphale has always been enough for Crowley. But being enough for Crowley doesn’t fix how Aziraphale has never been enough for himself, not since Job. He looks at this offer as a chance for HIM to be enough, and for Crowley to be FORGIVEN. Crowley looks at it as a betrayal because it’s Aziraphale saying Crowley ISNT enough, and he NEVER has been.
But that’s not what Aziraphale is saying. He’s saying, “Let me fix it for you”. Crowley is hearing, “Let me fix you for it.” Two completely different and completely horrifying concepts.
And then Crowley needs to say HIS piece(oh my gosh, btw, this was heartbreaking).
“Let’s be together on our terms” is basically what I’ve distilled it down to. But Aziraphale hears, “Let’s run away from our problems”
Aziraphale doesn’t want to run away, and Crowley doesn’t want to change who he is.
They both want to be together so badly but they don’t understand why they each want it so differently. And Aziraphale can’t compromise because he’s brainwashed and LOATHES himself. And Crowley can’t compromise because he’s traumatized and LOVES Aziraphale just as he is. Crowley doesn’t want to be good on heavens terms. He can see Heaven for what it is; “toxic”. He hates heaven not only for what the Host did to him, but for HOW THEY TREATED Aziraphale.
They both don’t understand each other because for all the pleading and presenting and monologuing, they never once in that whole conversation, actually talked.
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dollfacefantasy · 1 month ago
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kinktober day 10 - hybrids (again) leon kennedy! x fem!black-cat-hybrid!reader cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, hybrids, heat cycles, daddy kink
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Sweet and silent. That's how you moved about Leon's home ever since the day he brought you in. His precious little black cat.
He hadn't really been looking for a companion of any kind when it happened. His most recent string of hookups had all amounted to nothing as usual. He didn't even know if he was capable of anything long term anymore. Living life in service of the D.S.O. kept him away from home often enough that any woman with aspirations of a family would pack her bags before she ever got the invitation to move in.
Though with you, he never really extended that offer in the first place. You sort of just fell into his lap after being discarded by your unit in the BSAA. You'd been the lone feline in a unit of canines. After realizing what should have been obvious, that it was a horrible idea, they cut you loose. With nowhere to go, Chris brought you to Leon's attention, knowing the other man had been going through a hard time and could use a companion of some sort.
While he was reluctant at first, those cute curious eyes of yours were hard to resist. And now that almost a year had gone by, he couldn't have been happier about saying yes.
During the days you napped on the couch right where the sun cast through the window. He'd come home from work and find your soft form glowing, radiant under the orangey yellow rays. Your eyes would flutter open as soon as you sensed his presence, and you'd lazily rise to greet him, dragging your cheek across the expanse of his chest and nuzzling into his muscles.
At night, you drifted through the halls curious about what you could get up to without his supervision. It was never anything too troublesome, just the natural urge to explore more than anything else. He didn't mind. You'd gone from being trained for stealth missions to being allowed to laze about for however long you pleased. A little restlessness was to be expected.
Plus, that wasn't the most jarring form of restlessness he saw from you.
When you'd come into his life, Chris had warned him about 'heat cycles.' He told him what it meant and how he could deal with it, but honestly, Leon hadn't been too concerned with the idea. He figured it would be like normal ovulation, if not slightly more intense.
He didn't expect the power with which it affected you. The way you clung to him as if the smallest bit of separation would kill you. Your face stayed in the crook of his neck, taking deep huffs of his scent every few seconds. And your hips, they never seemed to stop moving. You were constantly squirming, trying to grind up against him and get some friction on the aching bundle of nerves between your legs.
Finally, he gave in and fucked you out of pure necessity. He was worried you'd throw yourself into pure exhaustion from how desperate you seemed.
But like the initial choice to take you in, he didn't regret this one either.
The change in your relationship didn't make things awkward. It didn't feel weird or uncomfortable now. The two of you were closer than ever. He could see how much you loved the affection. It was obvious now that your craving for it was a big part of what had you so restless in the first place.
And now the two of you could have days like today. Time where the hours passed with you tangled in each other's arms, him nice and snug inside of you.
“I understand why you like laying in the sun so much, sweetheart. Makes you all warm,” he murmurs into the back of your head.
He nuzzles you gently as his hips pump against your ass in a lazy rhythm. The two of you were laid up on the couch. It was your favorite time of day to sprawl out for a nap. The sun cast through the window at the perfect angle to bathe the sofa in its radiance.
You nod languidly in response to him. “Mhm,” you purr, pushing hips back against his body.
“Such a good girl for me,” he whispers.
He grabs your waist tighter and keeps thrusting. Even with the increased pressure, the pace remains soothing. His nose drags up the back of your neck as he takes in your scent.
He'd never known bliss like this before you. Prior to your arrival, life seemed so bleak. It was job after job, and the space between them was as bleak as the missions themselves. He never imagined himself experiencing peace like this. So calming it melted into genuine happiness.
"My sweet girl. So perfect for me. Don't know what I'd do without you," he mutters.
"Don't know either. Always need you," you mumble, the tone in your voice breaking into a whine.
His free hand glides up to massage at one of the obsidian ears atop your head. The move brings a deep rumble of pleasure from your chest, causing his dick to throb within you.
"That's my baby," he grunts, "You know just what daddy likes, don't you?"
The title makes your clit pulse, and your ass automatically writhes backwards. He knows the effect that word has on you. Ever since you'd accidentally let it slip once, he'd never allowed you to live it down.
"Mhm," you hum in response. Further words weren't needed. Both of you knew it was the truth. That everything you did in moments like these was for the other.
He now takes his hand off your head and brings it down and around to the front of your body. His fingers wrap around your palm, clasping your hand in his own. You can feel the tiny tremble in his limb. The shiver of impending release.
"You gonna make daddy cum, baby? Gonna let him get you all warm and full?" he rasps.
You nod eagerly. That was a question you would never say no to.
His pelvis keeps connecting with the swell of your ass as he thrusts deep inside. His tip kisses all the little internal sweet spots inside you. It's only a few more pumps before he spills himself inside you. His fingers drop your hand to swirl around your clit and get you there too. It feels like heaven, riding out the high with him, bathed in warm sunlight.
When the both of you have started to come down, you feel kisses being laid upon the back of your neck. He rubs your belly at the same time, long soothing swipes of his hand stroking back and forth. It brings you back to earth, but you still feel a little hazy since he hadn't pulled out.
"What do you think about taking a nap now?" he asks softly.
You nod, already drowsy yourself. Now you just had the added bonus of him staying with you.
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zriasstuff · 9 months ago
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Final blow— Mattheo Riddle x reader
Oneshot including a classic wizarding duel and tension filled atmosphere <3 (SFW)
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“For our next duel, I’m asking Mattheo Riddle and Miss Y/n to please step up onto the platform”
The words from professor Snape echoed through the duelling practice room, and as of right now everyone was staring at you two. It didn’t come as a shock to you when you were picked. Both of you were pretty much on the same level, with the exception of course that you had way less of an ego than Mattheo.
Defense against the dark arts was your favorite subject, especially when it came to doing hands on things. Duelling just happened to be one of your favorite things to practice. The tougher the opponent, the sweeter the victory, you believed. With Mattheo, you had to make sure that you would fight till the last moment, and to not go down without a proper fight.
“C’mon, go up!”, your friends encourage you, “You got this!”. They all believed in you, and told you that your chances were good, making you feel more secure in your skills. Through all the encouragement you got, you start moving towards where the showdown would take place.
As you go up, you look at Mattheo, who seemed confident to say the least. He knows he’s good and everyone else knows it too. Moreover, all the quidditch training certainly gave him a strong and muscular body to work with.
Before the duel begins, you scan the crowd one more time for looks and chants of support. “MAKE US RAVENCLAWS PROUD!”, you hear someone yelling amidst all the people. That you were extremely thankful for, since you could really use all the positive reassurance you could get. You quickly say thank you back to the crowd.
At the same time, the Slytherins must’ve seen this as another competition and started yelling all sorts of things in support of their representative too. Together, they sure looked like a mean bunch.
“YOU GOT THIS MATTHEO!”, his friend Blaise hollers loudly. Draco, right after, shouts out “YEAHH, DESTROY HER!”.
What a gentleman you mutter to yourself, and Mattheo must’ve heard it because you hear a slight chuckle escaping his mouth.
“Nervous”, he quietly asks you.
“Not at all”, you respond in the most self assured manner that you can muster.
He himself didn’t look nervous at all, but rather excited to have a “play partner”. Frankly you weren’t either, but you also knew that going up against him wouldn’t be easy.
Mattheo keeps looking you in the eye with a slight grin, so to match his energy, you hold eye contact with him too and make sure that your posture is straight. If you don’t look capable from the beginning, you are never going to make it to the end.
To commence this duel at last, Snape retells the rules of combat and announces that “only magical acts can be used as a form of offense or defense. You may disarm or harm your opponent, but must not seriously injure them.” Otherwise Madam Pomfrey would surely throw another fit at you “immature rascals”.
You were counting on disarming Mattheo to be your tactic. His fatal flaw was, noting from your past observations, being too aggressive, and not fully protecting himself. Besides that, he was flawless.
All eyes on you guys now, you start off by bowing to each other to pay your respects. “Good luck”, he whispers to you while you’re on eye level. “Same to you”, you reply, to make him know that you weren’t scared.
As Snape was counting down from three, you calmed yourself down once again, telling yourself that it would be fine. When Snape reaches the final number three, Mattheo immediately goes into the offense and casts several stunning spells, which you block with your shielding spell. You had practiced that one so often, that you could confidently utilize it at any given time. Mattheo keeps trying to push you back further. One after another, his attacking spells are blasted at you. And one after another you block them. It was a back and forth dance between you two, neither one of you budging yet.
He came alarmingly close though. One of his spells had caught your shoulder, sending an electrifying shock through your body. Another one had hit your torso straight like a bullet. That one had caused you the most pain. You grunted and held your hand over the wounded area, but it was still bearable. You just had to fight through the pain.
Both of you kept going, at this point recognizing that victory wouldn’t come easily to either one of you. Mattheo, looking forward to making things a little more playful, cheekily calls out “holding up pretty well for someone like you”. You knew he was trying to get you off of your game by sounding condescending. He was well aware of your capabilities. Therefore you clap back by saying “that shouldn’t come as a surprise, and you’re not as good as you think you are”.
Having said that, you hear a few murmurs amongst the students. Snape takes the time to remind you to keep the personal bashing to yourselfs until the duel is resolved. Mattheo seems to take it quite personally though, now casting out especially aggressive spells.
Even by then you are able to hold up, but there was still no opportunity to really harm him. The back and forth kept going to the point where neither of you saw an end to this.
After a while, having been so concentrated on defending yourself and managing your pain, you hadn’t even looked at Mattheo anymore to see how he was doing. You just saw his spells shooting at you. So, when you finally did look, you noticed that Mattheo was getting a little riled up himself and losing his edge. He always tries to keep his cool, to not show any signs of weakness. Yet, there you were, taking hit after hit, and not backing down. It made him frustrated to see his efforts not meeting his expectations.
After more exchanges of non sufficient spells, you are getting way too tired, and you decide it’s time to put this exhausting duel to an end. You just had to wait for the perfect moment.
In Mattheo’s mind, he was also just waiting for the perfect moment, hoping for you to retreat.
When you glance at the audience again for just a second, you see the gawking mouths of some of the Slytherins. Instantly, it boosts your confidence. If even they were stunned by you, then all was going right, and you knew you got this. If you could really defeat Mattheo, his ego was probably going to be bruised for a good several days at least.
Between further dodging spells, and shielding yourself, it was really difficult to find the perfect moment, though you had a feeling it would come soon enough. Mattheo was getting even more frustrated. His spells weren’t as accurate anymore. His arm was losing strength and going a little limp. And most important of all, his confidence became tainted.
While trying to catch his breath for a second, Mattheo simultaneously lowers his arm. During that one scarce moment, you decide to deliver the final blow.
“EXPELLIARMUS!”, you call out. Everyone’s eyes were wide open, seeing exactly as the spell hit Mattheo, causing his wand to fly across the platform, all the way into your hand. You catch it with precision, and watch his look of disbelief. You couldn’t even fully believe it yourself. He was done for.
“Wanna wave the white flag now?”, you cheekily ask him now, as he’s still trying to catch his breath. It was a little mean, but he could handle it.
Mattheo still can’t believe what just happened based on the look on his face. You see him scrunching his eyebrows, and mouth hanging wide open.
Although he knows he’s got nothing left, he still replies with “never”.
“As you wish”, you say with a wide grin, because in the next second, your final spell sent him flying across the room. Mattheo falls off of the duelling platform at the end, all the way onto the ground.
As his body hit the hard floor, all students from every house, except the Slytherins of course, started cheering for you. You felt as if you were on cloud nine hearing all their chants. Your heart was still beating rapidly, as if it was going to explode any second. A little part of you can’t believe that you just sent Mattheo flying across the platform, but the bigger part was gloating with pride.
You watch Mattheo prop himself up and walk back onto the platform to go up to you. He warmly, to your surprise, meets your gaze and brings out his hand to shake yours.
“Looks like you didn’t need luck after all”, he congratulates you. You’re taken aback for a second because this behavior of him wasn’t what you expected at all. He clearly notices and goes on to say “I rarely lose, but when I do I try not to be a sore loser”.
When he goes to his friends, he turns back and winks at you with a smirk plastered on his face. Winning was already quite the event, but Mattheo being a perfect gentleman weirdly made your insides churn.
You wait for everyone to leave the room after enough duelling was done for the morning. The reason was because you saw, from the corner of your eye, that Mattheo was also taking his time. You didn’t even know exactly why you were waiting for him.
Not that it was your planned intention, but you decide to go up to him and tell him that it was a great, although stressful, duel. Perhaps that would fuel some kind of conversation.
“No need to gloat”, he throws back at you. He didn’t sound all too happy, and maybe he did take the loss stronger than he showed at first. Your mind starts to spin and look for kind words. You definitely didn’t mean to insult him, so you quickly stutter out
“No- that’s not what I-”
Before you could finish that jumbled sentence though, he chuckles out loud, his eyes giving you a look of sympathy. His entire demeanor has changed now, the upset look from before just having been a facade.
“Chill, I was just kidding”, he cheerfully says. Seconds later he adds “You won fair and square, I’m actually really impressed with you”. It sounded like he meant it genuinely.
That compliment wasn’t something you expected. Relieved at his relaxed attitude, you choose to go along with his joking manner and respond with “I’m definitely going to hold that over your head forever”.
That earned you yet another precious chuckle from him. His laugh was truly contagious because shortly after you start laughing too. You had actually never expected that talking with Mattheo could feel so carefree and fun.
“Y’know I actually thought you were a lot more arrogant”, you honestly admitted to him during your talk. As far as the truth went, this was it. You could see that it had certainly been a little presumptuous of you to assume that about him.
“Well that’s because you don’t really know me and make pointless assumptions, but I don’t blame you”, he boldly calls you out on your prejudices too.
Perhaps he wasn’t as bad as you imagined, but definitely still cocky.
Suddenly he puts his hand on your shoulder, which makes you jerk back at first. The sudden contact just came as a surprise. He also takes notice, but when he sees that you don’t mind after the initial shock, he just kept it there. “So, wanna get out of here?”, he suggested. “We could talk and you could get to know me better”, Mattheo proposes, obviously referring to your previous statement.
“Well, how can I say no to that”, you comply while flashing him a gentle smile.
And with that, both of you leave the room, with Mattheo’s hand still wrapped around your shoulders.
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beemochi-art · 4 months ago
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Kaaaahhh!! *falls & eats the curb and drops all of my chaos Terran doodles.* BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING I KNOW CARS ISN’T DREAMWORKS!! I already got erm actually-ed. Spitfire and Am my poor doomed kids.
For both their designs I took a lil spin on it. For Am this the way I like to draw him. He acts gross so now he can look gross. He also doesn’t look baby in the show so meh, No further comments.
For Spitfire I gave her features that make look stronger and meaner even tho she’s mostly supposed to look just like Twitch. To me there is no point in drawing her just like twitch because the evil twin thing can be ruled out because they are completely different colors and they also went with the body swap thing. So I think making her look stockier and emo is more fun. I should draw a side-by-side comparison sometime.
Spoiler S2 rant* I get a little bit into delulu land so bear with me.
Jokes aside. I liked the chaos Terrans and the way they were handled wasn’t right. I hope they are able to make a comeback In the future and get redeemed because they deserve it. I feel really bad for them. It’s like they were labeled as Chaos and not to be trusted from the beginning I don’t think anyone truly understood them. I get that the chaos Terrans had wronged the Malto’s multiple times from the start but I think the way they went about handling them was so laxed. They just let the decepticons have them so they could be further influenced into the wrong path. It’s like they were doomed from the start.
After all they were just kids. I’ve been labeled as the bad, dumb, asshole kid before. Most of my school days I was in special ED and I was also pretty high energy too. So I can relate, if you are already labeled as bad or dumb why try to be anything else? Or trying to be cool and hanging around the wrong crowd just to be taken advantage of in the end.
They weren’t completely chaos either. They listened to the Decepticons. Following orders till the very end, if they were chaotic like their name implying would they just not listen to anyone and do whatever they wanted without any care of anyone else? Here’s what I think. The chaos Terrans (mostly Spitfire.) we’re trying to impress what they perceived as the cooler badder bots. That’s some kid shit, most kids try to get in with the group of cool kids. Why not stay with the Maltos? Cause that’s not cool to them. Do you want to hang out with the teachers pet or steal and break shit.
In defense of Aftermath. He’s capable of playing nice, he’s not evil. Him and Jb had a relatively good day with each other. He didn’t out right attack on sight. I think he took the water cause he didn’t want to seem like a looser in his heavily flawed mindset. Am is more of an impediment of Chaos, he just smashes and breaks shit cause he can. Honestly I think if you him just take him to a rage room he’d be fine.
In defense of Spitfire (who is a wayy more complicated case.) She was literally born that morning how was she supposed to know not hurting humans was an autobot rule. I think deep down she was jealous of Twitch’s family and opportunities. She has a competitive spirit and I think she wanted that mission to impress the bigger bots (even if she was rude to them.) when she was in Twitch’s body and said things like Chaos Terrans are bad and not to be trusted I wound if she was projecting what she thought they were thinking about her already. When she was cast out and went with the decepticons was they don’t like me and they don’t like you either so I’ll just hang with you guys. With that being said she’s naive too (it’s fine BECAUSE SHES A KID.) see the way starscream tells her good job or touches her shoulder, she wants his approval and to make him just like all kids with their parents. And then when she is ultimately betrayed, she’s a deer in headlights, shocked and afraid, probably realizing that she provided the weapon needed to killer her and her brother. She looked up to Starscream. Showing her fear and shock by being betrayed like that really showed us that Spitfire is so much more than just a bad guy. It really made me sad when she was screaming and saying no, god she needed help.
None of the chaos Terrans had gotten the opportunity to really learn or get to find something they like to do. The other Terrans had plenty of time to think about an alt mode, learn lessons get nurtured and cared for. The chaos Terrans had to get their alt modes immediately both out of necessity. Most of the time Am was just wandering around bored, he wasn’t being nurtured or taught anything. The cons didn’t care about them at all, neither did the autobots or Maltos that much. 
Saying Chaos Terrans are going to chaos or decepticons are gonna do what they do. Is super incorrect. It’s just labeling and not expecting anything more from these individuals which goes against the entire point of season one.
HOLY CRAP IF YOU READ ALL THIS. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Hopefully Some of this made sense.
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feyascorner · 10 months ago
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7 | The Fangs Between Us
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summary. “It’s too hard to see. We need to turn back.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little bit of darkness.”
You scrunch your nose at this, and he merely grins. Before you can say anything, he’s back to pacing across the dirt without a care in the world—almost too fast for your liking. “Will you at least slow down?”
“Shall I hold your hand?”
“I’d rather cut it off.”
“A pity.”
warnings. angst, comfort, slow burn, tav reader is a bard, italics are flashbacks
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
parts. TFBU masterlist
a/n. 6.9k words !!! this chapter took forever but somehow i managed!! thank you so much for your kind words and patience !!! he's kind of a silly guy in the chapter so pls enjoy this peace offering as the calm before a storm
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“Are you sure this is the right course of action? Letting him ascend?” Shadowheart asks as you adjust one of the logs in the campfire, watching the other companions organize their tents from afar. You stop at this, turning to face her.
“It’s what he wants,” you mumble. “I won’t stop him if he’s sure this is the right thing to do.”
You’re still getting used to her hair, which’s now as white as a sheet, but you think it looks lovely against the fire. She seems calmer than she did when she was with Shar. At peace, almost. She casts you a sidelong glance. “Can we really trust his judgment of all people? He’s—I mean, well, him.”
“I know it sounds unreasonable," you say letting yourself sit down beside her on her bedroll. “But I want him to make his own decisions. He’s spent too many years having no choice of his own, and I’d be the worst person to take it away from him again.”
“I just,” her voice softens. “Astarion’s a complicated person, and I’m sure you know better than us. It’s because he couldn’t make his own choices for so long that it makes me think he’s lost his capability to make any choices anymore. Good ones, at least.”
“I trust him.”
“Gods knows how.”
You stifle a laugh, and she sips at her wine, eyes still glazing over the camp. There’s a kind of solemnness to them that makes your stomach churn. “You seem worried.”
“Not worried, per se,” she shrugs. “I just realize that I owe a debt to you for what you did for me against my lad—I mean, Shar. And I myself almost went down that dark path of becoming a Justiciar if it weren’t for you. At the time, I thought it was the best thing for me too, like Astarion believes ascension to be what will set him free.”
You nod patiently, urging her to continue.
“I only fear he might make the wrong choice if he doesn’t have the right guidance as I did.”
The words feel hesitant on her tongue. And although they make the voice in the back of your head, telling you to convince Astarion otherwise, louder, you ignore it, opting to smile at her softly instead. “Is this you caring about our companions?”
“Heavens, no,” she snorts, but there’s a joking tone behind her voice. “But like I said…I’m indebted to you all. Astarion also aided in my personal affairs with Shar, even if he didn’t have to, and even with his incessant complaining…I suppose this is my way of paying him back.”
Your chest warms. It’s soothing to know that even without you, your other companions have enough care for your lover to offer him bits of advice; in a way, it relieves a bit of weight off your shoulders. Even the companions who claim to detest his presence have grown fond of him over the months, and you’re sure it goes both ways. It helps because even if you’re gone, you know he’ll be okay.
“I never told you formally,” she sighs. “But thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me or feel indebted. I just did what I could for you.”
“Don’t be so humble. What you’ve done for me—for all of us—is something we’ll cherish for the rest of our lives,” she takes her last swig from her wine. “But from one messed up person to another, please, be careful.”
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Your wrist feels sore.
Two days. It’s been two days since the incident at the Blushing Mermaid, and still, your body seems to burn whenever you see his closed door across yours from the hall, and all you can do is rub shamefully at the healing puncture wounds on your wrist. The bandages looping around the skin do a good enough job of hiding them, but you genuinely wish you could just ask Shadowheart to heal them for you because being able to see them does little to help with the constant thoughts of the vampire muddling the clarity of your mind. 
But you’d rather not let your companions know what happened between you and the vampire on the dirtied floors of the Blushing Mermaid. You’d likely die of shame for letting him drink from you, even after your mutual agreement to specifically avoid just that. What’s worse is that you expect the worst from Lae’zel, especially after her explicit advice to do the exact opposite of what you chose to do.
You tighten the bandages again.
“Did those yourself, did you?”Alfira snorts, and you almost have half a mind to glare at her if it weren’t for the crumpled sheets of paper surrounding the legs of her chair. The ink on the discarded pages now blends into mush as they lie in the puddles forming around her—an aftermath of the recent rainy weather. You don’t tell her, though. She seems frustrated enough as it is, and you fear she might snap a string of her lute if this prolongs any longer. “How’d you get hurt anyway?”
“It’s a bug bite.”
“A rather massive bug, apparently.”
The corners of your lips quirk downward, and she finally sets her lute aside, careful to avoid the puddles as she props it against the side of her stool to focus on her notepad instead. Though most of its pages have now been torn out, the remaining few have scribbles of song lyrics that even you can’t decipher with how messily the ink splatters across the page. She, however, seems perfectly fine reading its contents aside from her glaringly obvious distaste for the words themselves. You raise your brow. “Can you really read that?”
“Oh, hush. Don’t insult my penmanship.”
You snicker, eyes continuing to scan the sheets of paper that had been abandoned on Dalyria’s desk at the Blushing Mermaid. It’d taken quite some time to take apart the pages plastered on the wall and to organize the mountain of doctor’s notes lying across the lair, but you’d managed to fish out something useful eventually. The journal was one that seemed especially important, filled to the brim with Dalyria’s so-called ‘research.’ 
But if the past few days have told you anything, it’s that Dalyria is a terrible note-taker.
The pages are filled with shapes. Some are curved, and others just bend and contort into odd figures that you’re sure aren’t supposed to look like letters. Each page studies a different shape on a random part of the page, leaving them scattered and difficult to decipher.
You’re starting to think this is just some odd attempt at art rather than the studies she claims to be performing.
“And? Why are you here if you’re not here to look at those lyrics I gave you?”
“I’m trying to figure out what this journal says,” you sigh, flipping another page you don’t understand. “And if you couldn’t tell, I’m rather busy trying to find the people responsible for murders around the city, so excuse me if I haven’t had the time to glance at your song.”
“I’m plenty busy myself, you know! I just got hired to sing at this fancy party for some celebration. They even said I could dress all nice for it,” she smiles proudly, and you offer her a crooked one of your own. “It’s my first serious gig—so I’m a bit nervous with how large it is…”
“How’d you land something like that before you’ve even played at children’s birthday parties?”
“Well, I’m not doing it alone, obviously,” she reasons, scratching something on her pages again. “I’m going with one of my friends. She’s a wonderful violinist, and she managed to squeeze me into the event, which I’m so grateful for…I suppose I’m just a bit worried.”
You look up from Dalyria’s notebook. “Worried? What for?”
“That my fingers will lock up, and I’ll humiliate myself,” she admits sheepishly, tucking a portion of her hair behind her sharp ear. “Lihala used to call me silly for worrying about things that haven’t happened–but I can’t help it. It’s the before-show jitters. Pesky things. It’s a bit embarrassing, really.”
Humming in acknowledgment, you look to the murky skies overhead, where dark clouds threaten to pour down for at least another few days. A shame, you think. You’ve never seen the Summers of Baldur’s Gate feel so dreary.
It’s fitting, almost, considering the state that the city is in.
The painful sound of quill scratching against paper is all you can hear now as Alfira sighs irritably again, ripping out another sheet of paper.
“It’s not embarrassing,” you finally say.
She blinks up from her notepad. “What is?”
“Being nervous. I’ve done more performances than I can count, and my hands would still get clammy in front of a big crowd,” you laugh to yourself. “But when you see how they watch you as if you’re performing sorcery with your lute, it’s like you were never anxious in the first place. The audience is what makes it bearable.”
“Gods, I hope you’re right,” she smiles fondly as you continue to reminisce in your own memories. “It’s a rather shame we never got to perform together. Not after the last time we played at the Grove–and I don’t even count that occasion with how unstable my voice was…”
“I can watch if you’d like,” you offer. “Your performance, I mean.”
Her eyes gleam with excitement, and she reaches to clasp both your hands, beaming brightly. “Will you? I’m sure if you’re there, it’ll ease my nerves, too!-”
As you shift in your seat to follow your hands, Dalyria’s notebook slips off your lap. The simple splash beneath you tells you all you need to know as your eyes shoot down to where the notebook now lies face down into a puddle, and you don’t even have to lift it to know that its pages are soaked.
But you don’t have to pick it up yourself because Alfira’s carefully holding it in an instant, her face pale as she fans her hand in a fruitless attempt to prevent the damage already done. “Dammit, I’ve done it again! I’m truly sorry…I didn’t mean for that to happen! But I’m sure if we just put it in the sunlight for a few days, it’ll–”
You gently take it from her hands, shaking your head. Perhaps it’s because you were just deep into memories you hold dear to your heart, but there isn’t an ounce of panic in your voice. “It’s fine. I wasn’t getting anywhere with this thing anyway.”
“Still…”
The pages stick together in chunks as you flip the journal towards the pages that are at least half dry. You fear they might tear off at the slightest touch, so all you can do is stare at a page you deem to be soaking up the ink from the pages behind it. Alfira groans into her hands, and before you can spare her a glance to remind her it’s alright, you spot something in the middle of the page.
“Holy shit,” you whisper so quietly she doesn’t catch it.
“I’ll grab us a wind scroll. Or maybe that’s too strong? Surely there’s some spell that can dry off books.”
“You have no idea what you’ve just done for me, Alfira,” you blurt, already halfway to stuffing the journal into your pack. She blinks up at you with weary eyes, but you quickly clamber off the stool with no time to offer an explanation. “Let me know when the performance is. I’ll be here next week as usual.”
“Don’t you want me to dry off the pages?”
“No,” you shake your head, your heart pounding. “I need to show this to the others.”
She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. Still, as you rush toward the stairs leading to the city streets, she calls after you.
“Don’t forget to look at the lyrics!”
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“Runes? As in the ones carved into Astarion’s back?”
“I thought they were random blots of ink, but,” you raise the notebook in your hands, and the soaked pages now show the contents of the following sheets, blending to form a larger image. The placement of the shapes were not random at all, and you internally apologize for calling Dalyria a few less-than-kind words in your mind. “They’re not. They’re parts of the runes that Cazador tried to use for the ritual. There are six sets of runes in here, and each one’s slightly altered.”
“But what purpose does that serve?” Shadowheart cocks a brow, eyeing the page questionably with crossed arms. “Cazador’s dead. There’s no ascension to be done.”
“Unfortunately, just because that haunting man is gone doesn’t mean the threat of an ascension is either.” Intrigued but clearly disturbed, Gale takes the notebook and squints at what it holds. “Cazador himself never needed to be the one to execute the ascension.”
The room goes silent, leaving an uncomfortable tension in the air that keeps you from moving. You’re not sure how many seconds pass before you hear the figure who’s been awfully quiet the past half an hour mutter something under his breath from the comfy armchair beside the fireplace.
Astarion clicks his tongue, seemingly unfazed. “Ah, I see.”
The fists at your side clench tighter. The bandages feel impossibly tight all of a sudden.
“It’s for the ascension, clearly. There’s no other plausible explanation,” his eyes remain glued to the flickering flames, swirling a chalice of wine in his hand. He doesn’t sip from it, knowing that it tastes of nothing but vinegar on his undead tongue, so why he’s poured himself a glass, you don’t understand. You also can’t be bothered to ask. “Perhaps they plan to enact it. Take a piece of all that power for themselves.”
“But they can’t do the ascension,” Shadowheart frowns, turning to you. “You said there’s only six runes in there. They don’t have the last one to enact the ascension because Astarion’s with us. Cazador’s the only one who could have done it because he’s the only one who knows what each of the runes looks like. Without Astarion’s, they can’t—”
“They wanted him,” you whisper the confession, and you swear your voice nearly cracks. “They wanted Astarion. That’s why they wanted to speak with me.”
All three of your companions whip their heads to you, and you stare down at the ground. Shame burns through you, and you can practically feel the disappointment radiating off them as it dawns on you that you lied to them. You lied to your closest companions for the sake of saving yourself the embarrassment that no matter what you do, no matter what you tell yourself, your subconscious forces you to care for the bloody vampire sitting beside the fireplace. Despite the many eyes on you, you can only feel one crimson pair that bore into you like the sun beating down on a hot summer’s day.
Even now, he’s your biggest concern, and you hate yourself for it.
“Then it’s not Astarion they need,” Gale says breathlessly. “They need the marks on his back.”
“And you didn’t tell us this, why?” Shadowheart hisses. “You said they just tried to kill you!”
You blurt. “They did! They said they’d stop killing citizens if I just tossed Astarion over to them, but when I said no, they completely flipped and–”
“You declined that deal?” Lae’zel snarls, and you unwillingly flinch at the venom in her tone. “You swore, istik. You swore you wouldn't be foolish if it came down to you or him.”
The words feel like a knife to your throat.
“Well, obviously, it worked out,” you grumble, ignoring how Lae’zel’s eyes are narrowed dangerously. No doubt, she has questions of her own that she’ll demand answers to later. “If I handed him over, they would’ve had the last key to conducting the ascension.”
“You still lied to us,” Shadowheart steps toward you, but Gale quickly clears his throat.
“I know how deceived we all feel, but must we fight? What matters is the spawns can’t conduct the ascension as of now, correct?” he attempts to calm her down, but her scowl only grows deeper. “As disappointed as we all are, we must admit that keeping Astarion here is the right decision.”
“You’re too hasty, wizard,” Lae’zel snaps. “A vampire’s ascension would mean ridding of all the other spawn wreaking havoc in the city. We mustn’t throw away a chance being offered without considering it.”
Shadowheart is immediately on her feet, her eyebrows furrowing. “Don’t be an idiot–a few thousand spawn is better than a nearly impenetrable being capable of creating even more spawn. That’s asking for just as bad as we are now–maybe even worse.”
They break into a simultaneous debate, one in which two room occupants do not take part. Because even as you try to focus on what the others are saying, all you can feel is the unsettling stare of the spawn in the corner of the room, his hand still swirling the wine. You wonder if his wrist ever gets tired. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of returning his stare, but you watch him from the corner of your eye as his attention shifts to your wrist.
“Are we even sure this is what they’re planning? Do a few drawings prove that they want to go through with this ritual, again, after what it nearly did to them?” Shadowheart’s attention darts to you. “This ritual would kill them. Why in the hells would all of them agree to do it if it only means one would come out alive?”
You open your mouth to respond, but nothing comes out in return. The hurt embedded into her expression is so glaringly apparent that it makes your chest squeeze uncomfortably, and all you can do is look away in shame. “...I don’t know.”
Her face hardens. “Do you? Or are you just lying to us again?”
Cheeks flaring, you shake your head. “I’m not lying, I swear it.”
Her eyes flicker with something you don’t recognize before they flit to your bandaged arm and then back to your eyes. She doesn’t miss how you try to move your arm behind you. A miscalculation on your part since your attempt at hiding it makes your secret that much more obvious. “Then what are those for? You’ve had them on since you returned from the Blushing Mermaid, and you refuse to let me heal you myself. Just what did you get injured from?”
The room is so silent you can hear your own heartbeat.
“I–” you stop, wavering. “There was a—”
Shadowheart clenches her jaw. “Don’t lie. Please.”
But still, no words are willing to leave your throat. 
Your companions await words from you that do not exist. Like a deer in headlights, you stand numbly, unsure what to do. Fortunately, and also unfortunately, before long, Lae’zel has had enough of waiting, and she begins to march toward you in a way that makes you step away.
“Give me your arm,” she demands. “If you cannot say, then show us.”
You can feel all the blood draining from your face as she draws closer. But even Gale cannot hinder her this time because everyone in the room knows what she’s capable of with that blade attached to her hip, and she’s not against wasting a few potions of healing if she has to barrel her way through. You brace yourself for the inevitable, teeth gritting together.
Just as she reaches for your arm, someone else snatches it away.
“I drank from them,” Astarion says as you bump slightly into his chest, eyes wide at his pale fingers wrapped around your wrist. He yanks the edge of the bandage down with his free hand and lifts it for the others to see. The two puncture wounds, where the skin that surrounds it is darker than the rest, make you feel naked under the eyes of others. It’s too vulnerable. Too mortifying.
Your heart hammers pathetically, and whether it’s from the expressions of your companions or the hand wrapped around the sensitive skin of your wrist, you’re not sure. You hope it’s not the latter.
Gale’s jaw drops. “We agreed that this was the one thing you wouldn’t do.” 
“If I hadn’t, I would’ve perished,” the vampire retorts in response, releasing his hold on your arm as it falls back to your side. The place where his hand had been tinges under your skin. “And there weren’t exactly a few boars lying around the damn city for me to feed on.”
You notice he fails to mention there had been more than enough bodies to satiate him, but you keep your mouth shut.
The hurt on Shadowheart’s face is no longer one that throbs your sympathy. Instead, she seems to burn with something you haven’t seen in ages.
Anger.
Her palm flickers with radiant light, and Astarion immediately flinches, hissing as he moves to hide his body behind yours. In your haste, you can’t think of anything to do besides stepping toward her, holding out your hands. Astarion releases a strained laugh from behind you. “Now, Shadowheart, let’s not do anything hilarious, shall we?”
“I’ll kill you,” she growls maliciously, the glow of her palm growing brighter. “Like I should have done the second you came back to ruin everything we’ve done without you.”
You cautiously approach her, focus never leaving her eyes despite the danger festering in her hands. “You shouldn’t, Shadowheart.”
She throws daggers in your direction with just her expression, and you can’t deny how helpless you feel. “Killing him would end all of this. If we buried him somewhere, they’d never find the runes. They’d never be able to follow through with the ascension, and we won’t have to deal with his pompous ass anymore.”
You hate that she’s right. You hate that even though she’s right, you can’t agree with her methods.
“I know he’s—not exactly a friend—but he was once. And I know you considered him one as well,” you insist, inching closer. The hesitance in her motions as you come too close to the radiant light is undeniable. “I don’t want you to bear the guilt of his death.”
Because as much as you’re wrapped up in a world of your own–a world where you fight to hate the man behind you–you know that your companions feel the same way. The sentiments gathered from months of sharing the same camp, months of saving one another from multiple deaths, and months of aiding one another overcome their own pasts don’t just disappear. You know what they shared. Being the most similar amongst your companions, forced under the influence of a power they did not want to be subjected to, you know they considered themselves friends, even if they never voiced it out loud.
You know that deep down, Shadowheart’s hatred for Astarion stems from her own feeling of betrayal when he tried to kill you. When he attempted to harm the only other person who guided her to a path outside of Shar.
“Trust me, I won’t feel guilty,” she finally forces out. “You’re a fool to trust him again.”
“I don’t trust him,” you reassure her, your hands finally reaching hers as they dim and eventually vanish all traces of magic. “But if he’s to die for nearly killing me, I want it to be under my hands. Don’t sully your own for my sake when you’ve just escaped all the bloodshed.”
Shadowheart’s brows soften, but her face turns cold. Thoughts seem to run through her mind like an endless train before she decides that thinking through each one is worth more than Astarion himself is worth. She inhales deeply and nods, allowing you to finally release her hands. She shoots the others one last glance before turning to retreat upstairs.
You’re left in a pitiful silence—one that nobody in the room dares to break.
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An entire day is spent with you wallowing in your shame, refusing to get out of bed.
You hope this is just a terrible nightmare, but you know better. If this were a nightmare, you’d already be dead.
You only climb out of your covers when you have to change the bandages on your wrist. It’s a painful process now since you don’t even want to look at the puncture wounds anymore, but it’s better than risking it to get infected. A knock on your door makes you stand from your bed, kicking the bandage rolls under your bed. “It’s open.”
You expect Gale or even Lae’zel, but you’re met with piercing red eyes. You contemplate begging him to leave you alone because looking at him right now only conjures up the guilt that’s been eating away at you for hours now. Instead, you build that wall between the two of you again, your face hardening. “What do you want?”
He’s never come to you willingly before. Not unless you were positively drenched in blood, and he had no choice but to follow his instincts for what he hopes to be a meal other than stale boar blood. Much less approached you in your own room.
Astarion lifts the empty glass bottle in his hand. “A charming welcome, as usual, I see.”
“You just had a full supply yesterday,” you say, brows furrowing. “I checked it myself.”
“Clearly, now I don’t,” he shrugs, and when you shoot him an intense glare, he frowns. “You can’t possibly blame me. I haven’t exerted myself as I did at that dirty tavern since the last time I had that damn parasite swimming around my head. So, unless you decide to offer yourself to me, again…”
You think he’s genuinely lost his mind. “Right now? Seriously? After what just happened yesterday, you want to ask me for blood?”
“Just a suggestion, darling. Otherwise, we always have the other option, as boring as it is.”
Perhaps you should just toss him to Lae’zel and call it a day.
Groaning in exasperation, you march past him, slapping a cloak into his chest. “There’s 15 minutes to sunset.”
He laughs, but it only makes your face turn sour.
The forest isn’t far off from the main square of Rivington. And by the time you reach it, the sun has long gone down, and you watch as Astarion takes off the hood of his cloak, breathing deeply in the moon's bask. And as he glances back at you, you don’t bother trying to walk side by side, remaining on guard and surveying his every move from three steps behind. He comments on it even though you think he doesn’t care for what you do. “I don’t bite, you know.”
“You’re not funny.” He snorts at your deadpan and continues into the deeper parts of the forest.
The entire time, your eyes remained glued to the backs of his heels, palms growing increasingly clammy as you become surrounded by nothing but the soft ambiance of the woods. His steps are as silent as they’ve always been, and it feels like following a ghost into the darkest parts of the forest. It’s becoming hard to see more than a few feet in front of you, and if your training with Lae’zel has taught you anything, you know that you don’t want to be at a disadvantage—especially when the other party is a bloody vampire.
You halt in your tracks. He does, too, turning to shoot you a questioning look. “What is it?”
“It’s too hard to see. We need to turn back.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little bit of darkness.”
You scrunch your nose at this, and he merely grins. Before you can say anything, he’s back to pacing across the dirt without a care in the world—almost too fast for your liking. “Will you at least slow down?”
“Shall I hold your hand?”
“I’d rather cut it off.”
“A pity.”
You curse his long legs as the forest becomes darker and darker, even as each time you think it can’t possibly get worse than this. You swear his steps become quicker, and a part of you wonders if this is where he attempts to run away and whether you should cast a sleep spell before he succeeds. But the most rational part of you reminds yourself that he’s had plenty of chances to escape. Hells, he could do it even now, considering how much more easily his eyes adjust to the darkness than you.
“Astarion, I swear to the Gods above, if you don’t stop walking so quickly…”
This time, you don’t get an answer.
Suspicions rising, you break into a jog and then into a gradual sprint. Every time you think you finally caught up to him, a branch whips into your face, and you barely manage to swat it away before it manages to cut your skin. You call his name a few times to no avail, and you genuinely begin to ponder if you should’ve brought your scroll for daylight.
Finally, you stumble through a tall berry bush into what you assume to be another branch.
And rather than more darkness, you’re met with a clearing. It’s only a few long strides in width and a couple more in length, but here, it doesn’t seem like nighttime at all. The moon peers down at you in all its glory, and you think this might’ve been Selune’s pocket of the forest if she were here. You blink wide when a speck of light—a firefly—flies barely past your face. And suddenly, you’re surrounded by light rising from the green grass beneath you in fragile wings. 
The tightness in your chest dissipates, if only for a moment.
Only once you’ve taken in the vast difference of your surroundings just a few moments prior do you see Astarion pulling off the clasp of his cloak. He tosses it to you, and it lands on your face before you yank it away with a scowl. “You could have just handed it to me–”
“Stay here,” he says. “I’ll return when I’ve finished hunting.”
You gawk at him. “I’m not going to let you just leave.”
“I’ve proven myself plenty,” he scoffs. “If I remember correctly, you would’ve likely perished were I not there at that tavern a few days ago. And I must remind you that I do have quite the memory. If I planned on betraying you, I would’ve done it then—at a more fashionable time.”
You don’t have much of a rebuttal to that.
While you could bring up the dozens of other times he’s made questionable decisions pertaining to his loyalty, the soothing bath under the moon’s gaze seems to calm you down. So, instead of fighting the internal urge to continue your petty quips, you drop the cloak beneath you. He cocks a brow, surely expecting more of a protest, but you just swallow your pride, plopping down on the grass with a huff. “If you don’t return in 30 minutes, I’m coming to find you.”
“40 minutes,” he tries. “30 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for anything fun.”
You scowl. “20 minutes.”
Astarion smiles wickedly just enough for his fangs to peek beneath his top lip. “Very well. I’ll expect you no later than that.”
And like a predator fading into his natural environment, he vanishes into the darkness.
Time passes slowly when all you can do is pick at pieces of grass. As beautiful as the clearing is, it’s a bit too soothing—enough to make you doze off as you lean against the trunk of a tree. Though you attempt to keep your eyes open, reminding yourself you have a responsibility to uphold, you haven’t had this sense of relaxation in ages. Especially now, in your home with an atmosphere thicker than the butter you use on your bread. It’s almost like a spell as you feel your heavy eyelids droop helplessly.
You pray you don’t dream tonight. Not when you know all you’ll think of is the betrayal you inflicted on your companions.
A rustle of leaves snaps you back awake.
And when you look up, you see two blood-red eyes staring down at you from the branches of the tree opposite of yours.
They look exactly like the spawn in the alleyway, practically a month ago now. The same ones that haunt your nightmares and the same ones that morph into your ex-lover in the ones you despise the most. And while you can’t see their face, you don’t need much more than that to break into action.
Immediately, you’re snatching the cloak and sprinting back into the forest's darkness. You don’t care about the branches flinging themselves at you anymore because you can barely breathe even without worrying about them. Twigs and thin branches flail across your cheeks as you practically barrel through the woods, your legs feeling like they could give up if you were ever to stop running. With only the cloak in one hand and a dagger in the other, you don’t even attempt to fight whoever this person is upfront–you learned your lesson well the last time you tried. So, instead, your boots crunch against whatever plants are being crushed beneath you as you frantically run from the creature chasing you.
The worst part is you can still hear leaves rustling behind you.
Your lungs hurt. Your head hurts. Everything hurts, and yet you cannot stop. You hope the forest itself swallows you whole at this point, especially as you hear the movements getting closer and closer.
Tripping over a particularly large root, you fall through a bush, bracing for impact as you curse everyone you can think of for your luck. But rather than your shoulder crashing into a pile of dirt and twigs, you plant face-first into what feels like…cloth?
“Eager little thing, aren’t you? If you wanted to touch me, you could have just asked,” Astarion teases and you instantly tear yourself away, pushing your palms against his chest with wide eyes. And as much as you hate to admit it, a flood of relief hits you. And as much as it shouldn’t, meeting his gaze makes you able to breathe again.
Gods, what is wrong with you?
“There’s something chasing me,” you say hurriedly, pointing in the direction behind you. “I think it’s another spawn, I saw his eyes–”
His face stills when you practically jump at the bushes moving in ways the wind cannot will it to. Your arm flies to push him in front of you in case something were to leap out, and while you’re sure he’d complain dramatically about this gesture on any other occasion, he’s too busy worrying about what lies behind the bush. His hand shoots to what you assume to be that blasted comb he takes everywhere while you grip your knife, and you hear both your breaths hitch when something lunges out of the shrub.
It’s a small, puny squirrel.
Astarion doesn’t even try to stifle the laugh that escapes him as he throws his head back.
“I swear there was something following me!” you hiss, slapping his arm while the squirrel scurries away back to wherever it came from. He doesn’t stop, having little care about how your face flushes with embarrassment, and instead seems to revel in it. The bastard is enjoying this.
You wish you could throw the damn squirrel at his head.
“Oh, yes, I do believe there was,” he’s barely fazed while you continue glaring daggers at him. “I’m impressed you survived an encounter with such a terrifying foe, my dear.”
“It was definitely following me...” your voice trails off, and the bloodlust that had overwhelmed your lungs is fading away, leaving nothing but the sound of Astarion and his annoyingly loud laughter. 
He stops when there’s a shrill scream from across the forest. One that wails in what is unmistakenly of excruciating pain.
The two of you slowly turn to one another, and a knowing gleam flashes behind his eyes.
“Darling, the smart decision here would be to leave–”
But you’re already rushing toward whoever this victim is, forcing him to groan loudly and trail after you, snatching up your cloak from the ground in the process. You feel him close behind as you practically fly through the forest, with little care of how exhausted you were just moments before as the screams of pain seem to fuel your determination to lend aid. 
Astarion, although displeased, only grumbles as he continues to follow your lead. “Is it necessary to be heroic now of all times? In a dark forest where there’s sure to be animals twice our size?”
You ignore him.
A leaf slaps into your face as you finally reach what’s now been reduced to soft sobs. And you’re not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t someone you knew.
“Berry?” you blink at the small girl, who you’re sure can barely even see you with how teary her eyes are. She watches you wearily before she gasps in recognition, and it’s then that you realize that her arm is bleeding.
“Tav!”
“You’re hurt,” you’re kneeling beside her in an instant, assessing her wounds as you reach to dig around your pockets in hopes of any medical supplies you might’ve left in there. “Did something attack you?”
“Yes,” she winces as you lift her arm to inspect it closer. “I’m not sure what it was, but it came out of nowhere, and they—-they tried to bite me.”
A lump forms in your throat. As twisted as it is, you're relieved you weren't actually imagining what you saw earlier. “Did you see if they had fangs? Did they look like a regular person?”
“I think so,” she replies in a hushed voice, wiping her tears. “I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do when it–”
A hand grabs her by the back of her cloak, yanking her in the air with her legs dangling helplessly as Astarion holds her just high enough to render attempts to kick at him useless. “I’d normally entertain tasteless tricks like this, but I’m in a less than forgiving mood, I’m afraid. You’ve cut into the time I have to fill my own stomach.”
You gasp, jumping to your feet. “Astarion, what the actual hells are you doing?”
“Trust me, you’ll thank me later, darling,” he sneers at the girl, hissing at him aimlessly. “Show them, you little imp.”
Having no idea what’s going on, you decide the best thing to do is de-escalate whatever misunderstanding he’s had about the poor girl tied to his hand. “You’ll hurt her. Just let her go and explain what’s going on.”
“Show them,” he pronounces each word harshly, glaring at Berry. 
And finally, she tries to bite at his hand. This prompts her to unhinge her jaw just enough for you to see the glint of sharp teeth. Ones that do not certainly belong to an innocent orphan.
Were you always this unlucky, or was the past month just a living hell for you?
“See what I mean? You can offer your thanks to me later, darling,” Astarion smiles proudly, and if you knew him any less than you did, you’d think he’s psychotic for smiling like that in this situation. But then, again, maybe he is. “How you seem to attract so many of us is beyond me, but I believe we should refrain from keeping this one alive.”
Your jaw drops. As much as you feel appalled that the innocent girl you’ve been soothing over the death of her adoptive father for the past few weeks turned out to be one of the very creatures that nearly took your life (on multiple occasions), you can’t fathom the idea of just ridding of her. She’s still a kid—at least, to the naked eye. “Are you insane? No, we’re not killing her!”
“Gods, please don’t tell me you’ll try and make this brat see sense. She’s practically feral! Look at her!” he grits through his teeth, waving his free hand to the girl in question, who’s too busy trying to snap her teeth at him. “This thing doesn’t deserve your sympathy right now.”
Berry manages to catch the tip of his finger in her teeth, and Astarion lets out a string of curses as he drops her to the dirt. It doesn’t even take another second for her to lunge toward you, fangs bared and claws ready to sink into your flesh. You barely manage to swerve out of the way, her sharp nail grazing past your cheek.
“Berry, just listen to me! I don’t want to hurt you!” you practically yell, but she only stumbles on the ground a moment before rushing at you again. You reach for your dagger, fearing you may have to use it on a child until she’s snatched into the air again.
This time, Astarion hangs her by the cloak onto a tree branch, where she screams and grasps at the air, practically throwing a tantrum.
You gawk in utter disbelief; too many things are happening simultaneously.
And Astarion doesn’t help as he slips out the damn comb again, grinning from ear to ear. You notice that this time, he seems to have taken the time to sharpen the tips of the teeth, which nearly look akin to a row of needles. 
He holds the comb in Berry’s direction. “Well? Shall I do the honors?”
As you watch him threaten a child who also happens to be a vampire, you ponder that maybe you should have just handed him over to Dalyria when you had the chance.
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bubblyqueer000 · 1 year ago
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can i get headcanons for hajime, nagi, shuichi, and koki with a virgin s/o during their first time? like how the boys would react and kinks and comfort for a nervous s/o thnakss!! -👽anon
Hajime Hinata, Nagito Komaeda, Shuichi Saihara, Kokichi Ouma x Nervous!Virgin!S/O First Time Headcanons
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Protags and Antags!! EEEEEE WE LUB THEM!!
Enjoy!!
TW// Teasing, Degradation, NSFW, Choking, Hairpulling, Spanking
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Shuichi Saihara
♡ Super nervous! 
♡ Knowing him, it would probably be his first time too and he’s spooked as hell so if you are too, he understands. 
♡ He starts by awkwardly kissing you because that’s as far as he’s ever gotten with his partner. After a few minutes, he gets the hang of it. 
♡ Lol I’ve said this about Leon before but Shuichi would probably also give great hugs and would be such a good cuddler. NBVGHJNBGVB Grant George’s casting type is cuddly boys LMFAO
♡ Probably very vanilla but he’s open to most things.
♡ I think Shuichi would probably be a switch with a bottomy lean. He just wants to do what makes you happy. 
♡ Shuichi is kind of basic in terms of positions. He only really cares to do missionary but the way that he does it is so loving and gentle. He holds you underneath him and hides his face in your neck. Like hugging with him on top of you so closely.
♡ After a few times together Shuichi really warms up to you and loses most of his anxieties.
♡ He’s a very hesitant top, but he’s willing. Shuichi doesn’t really know what to do as a top so he usually just asks what you want. He’s a service top!! We love him :3
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Kokichi Ouma
♡ TEASING LITTLE BASTARD!!!
♡ Whether it’s your first time or your hundredth time, he’s constantly teasing you, physically or otherwise. Mostly about how nervous you are. 
♡ Now and then he would find some way to comfort you, but honestly, it wouldn’t last long. It’s usually something basic like gently stroking your face or a kiss on the forehead, before going right back to teasing you. 
♡ Unlike Shuichi, Kokichi claims that he has a very high body count (COUGH COUGH BULLSHIT) but you don’t know if you believe him. You didn’t believe him at all until he showed you how experienced he was. 
♡ Kokichi looooves to bite. Like choking and spanking are both fine, but above anything else, biting is his favorite. 
♡ He’s a major verse with no preference, but when he is bottoming… Did someone say brat? Despite him being a switch, Kokichi is always in control. 
♡ Kokichi uses toys on his partner a lot. Most commonly vibrators to tease you with but he’s open to most things.
♡ Also very into bondage. He loved the feeling of having control and knowing that he could do anything to you, with consent of course. 
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Nagito Komaeda
♡ Overjoyed! Just crippling shock and happiness.
♡ Nagito underestimated how much you care about him. He always figured that he wasn’t good enough for his partner, being the ultimate lucky student amongst so many ultimates. You asking him made him feel so much more secure in your relationship.
♡ Nagi likes praising you while you degrade him. If you’re too nervous to dirty talk though, he teases you for it. Thinking aloud that an ultimate such as yourself should be more than capable of talking down to trash like him. He’s just teasing though and he certainly wouldn’t try to make you feel bad for it.
♡ In most cases though, he thinks it’s cute how nervous you get and he won’t mind making that clear to you. Imagine being so nervous in the middle of it all and having him whisper to you. 
♡ “Would you look at me, my hope?” Your eyes stayed clenched for only a moment, then shyly you glanced up at him. “How… Precious… Why so shy, my princess?” *Cue pussy backflip*
♡ Loves when his hair is pulled!! Especially when he’s giving oral or when he’s about to cum. It just makes it all the more satisfying to him. 
♡ Cuddles and praises you as aftercare always. No matter how many times you’ve done it.
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Hajime Hinata
♡ Surprised but happy when you asked. Hajime had certainly thought about it before but was still shocked that you actually wanted to have sex with him, and even more so that a perfect girl like you had never done it before. 
♡ This puts a lot more pressure on him to make it pleasurable for you. It was your first time so he wanted to make it perfect.
♡ Hajime put tons of effort into making sure you were enjoying yourself. Beforehand, he wanted to talk about what you liked and didn’t. The last thing he wanted was to overstep boundaries, but man was he embarrassed to talk about them too. Still, he muscled through it on your behalf!
♡ Hajime seems like the type that would put your enjoyment before his own but he would be lying if he said he didn’t love receiving oral!! He doesn’t mind giving either but he is a man who loves his dick sucked (I’m twelve sorry.)
♡ His favorite positions are 69 and cowgirl. He’s the type who just adores it when you put all of your weight on him. He thinks it’s the hottest thing ever. Any position is good to him, but being ridden>
♡ Haji doesn’t strike me as the vocal type but when he does make noise, it’s a lot of grunting and gasping. His voice would grow deep and husky until his voice breaks out into a full-on growl.
♡ Always has his hands somewhere on you. Holding your waist, your hands, squeezing your chest, fingering you. He loves all of it, just touching you is perfect to him.
♡ Love youuu~
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moonselune · 4 months ago
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The game never really elaborated other than giving you the “everyone disapproves” messages when you let Volo pluck your eye from your skull on accident. How do you think the romanced companions would react to Tav with their new Ersatz eye?
ooo it was fun writing for those who weren't actually part of the camp by then, good request !
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Karlach:
You sat by the campfire, the flickering flames casting long shadows across your face. You felt the weight of your new ersatz eye, a strange and unsettling sensation that you were still getting used to. The camp had fallen silent, the rest of your companions busy with their own thoughts and tasks. Karlach, however, had been watching you closely ever since you had returned with the new eye.
She finally broke the silence, her deep voice carrying a hint of amusement.
"So, tell me, love—what possessed you to let Volo pluck out your eye and replace it with… that?" She gestured to your new, artificial eye with a wry smile.
You shrugged, trying to find the right words. "It seemed like a good idea at the time! Plus, it has its advantages. I can see things now that I couldn’t before."
Karlach chuckled, shaking her head. "Well, that was a bit silly, wasn't it?" She reached out, her hand warm and comforting as she cupped your cheek, her thumb brushing against the edge of your new eye. "But I have to admit, it gives you a certain… unique charm."
You smiled, leaning into her touch. "You think so?"
"Absolutely," she said, her eyes sparkling with affection. "It’s very you—bold, a little reckless, and definitely one-of-a-kind." She leaned in closer, her breath warm against your skin. "And if it helps you in battle, then it’s worth it. Just promise me you won’t let anyone else convince you to do something quite so drastic again, okay?"
You nodded, feeling a rush of warmth in your chest. "I promise."
Karlach’s smile widened, and she pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Good. Now, in your words, let's go find some evil for you to smack"
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Minthara:
The air was tense as you approached Minthara, the stern drow warrior assessing you with her piercing gaze. You could feel her eyes on you, scrutinizing every detail of your altered appearance. When you finally stood before her, she reached out and grabbed your face with a firm, but not unkind, grip, turning your head this way and that to examine your new eye.
"You fool," she hissed, her voice low and filled with a mixture of anger and concern. "Why would you let that imbecile Volo mutilate you like this? I will miss your eye."
You took a deep breath, trying to keep your voice steady. "This eye allows me to see people who have turned themselves invisible. It gives us an advantage in battle."
Minthara’s eyes narrowed, and for a moment, you feared she would remain angry. But then, slowly, a smile spread across her face, transforming her stern expression into one of approval. "Is that so?"
You nodded, relief flooding through you. "Yes. It may look strange, but it’s useful."
Minthara’s grip on your face softened, and she let her hand slide down to rest on your shoulder.
"You always surprise me," she said, her voice tinged with admiration. "Your willingness to sacrifice for the sake of our mission is commendable. I suppose I can forgive you for this… folly."
You couldn’t help but smile at her words. You weren't going to dare correct her that you had done it as a last ditch effort to get the parasite out. "Thank you, Minthara."
She leaned in, her lips brushing against your ear as she whispered, "Just don’t make a habit of letting fools experiment on you. I need you whole and capable, not a collection of curiosities."
You chuckled softly, feeling the tension between you dissolve as she kissed your cheek. "I’ll keep that in mind."
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Lae'zel:
The firelight danced across Lae'zel's face as she stared at you with a mixture of irritation and fascination. Her yellow eyes narrowed as she took in the sight of your new ersatz eye, her lips pressed into a thin line.
"You fool," she snapped, her voice tinged with frustration. "You let that bumbling idiot Volo pluck out your eye? Your own eye, the most reliable asset in battle? When we are already on our way to the creche!"
You winced, her words stinging despite the underlying concern you could sense. "It wasn’t exactly planned, Lae'zel. But this new eye… it has its advantages. I can see things now that I couldn't before."
Lae'zel crossed her arms, her expression still stern. "Your own eyes were more than capable. But if this ersatz eye gives you an edge, then I suppose it is not entirely worthless."
She stepped closer, her fingers brushing against your cheek as she inspected the new eye. Her touch was surprisingly gentle, her irritation melting into something softer. "It is strange, but… there is a certain appeal to it."
You raised an eyebrow, a small smile playing at your lips. "You find it sexy?"
Lae'zel huffed, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. "Do not misunderstand, it does not make you less of a fool. But yes, it has a certain… allure. Just do not let this happen again."
You nodded, relieved and somewhat amused by her reaction. "I’ll be more careful next time, I promise."
She leaned in, her lips brushing against yours in a brief, fierce kiss. "Good. Now, let us see how well you can fight with your new eye."
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Shadowheart:
You found Shadowheart by the edge of the camp, her eyes reflecting in the sun as she turned to face you. Taking a deep breath, you revealed your new ersatz eye, waiting for her reaction.
She stared at you for a moment, her eyes widening in shock before narrowing in annoyance. Without warning, she lightly whacked you on the arm. "What were you thinking? Letting Volo pluck out your eye like that? That was incredibly stupid."
You rubbed your arm, feeling a mix of embarrassment and regret. "I didn’t mean for it to happen. But it does have some advantages, Shadowheart. I can see things now that I couldn’t before."
She sighed, her expression softening slightly. "I can’t heal your eye. You’re stuck with that ersatz one now. You should have come to me first."
You pouted, feeling the need for some sympathy. You draped yourself over her, resting your head on her shoulder. "Shadowheart, I didn’t mean to be reckless. Can I at least get some sympathy?"
She laughed, her annoyance melting into amusement. Pushing you off gently, she shook her head. "You’re impossible."
You continued to pout and whine, giving her your best puppy-dog eyes. Finally, she relented, pulling you into a hug. "Alright, alright. You look… pretty. Stupid, but pretty."
You smiled, feeling a rush of warmth at her words. "Thank you, my love"
She kissed you softly, her hands cupping your face. "Just promise me you won’t let anyone else experiment on you. I need you whole and safe."
"I promise," you murmured, holding her close. "I’ll be more careful from now on."
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Jaheira:
The moment you revealed your new ersatz eye to Jaheira, her expression froze. Her eyes widened in shock, and she raised a hand as if to stop you from saying anything.
"Don't speak," she said sharply, pinching the bridge of her nose. You could see the internal struggle playing out across her face as she tried to collect herself. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, clearly fighting to maintain her composure.
For a few long moments, the only sound was the crackling of the campfire. Then, her eyes snapped open, and despite her earlier efforts, she couldn’t hold back any longer.
"What were you thinking?" she yelled, her voice a mix of anger and worry. "Letting Volo of all people pluck out your eye? Do you have any idea how reckless and foolish that was?"
You opened your mouth to respond, but she cut you off, her words coming out in a rush.
"You could have been blinded permanently! What if something had gone wrong? What if he had lobotomised you - although that may have improved that brain of yours!"
You stood there, feeling a mixture of guilt and helplessness. "I… I thought it might work, that it might get rid of the parasite. It gives me the ability to see things I couldn’t before."
Jaheira took another deep breath, her anger slowly subsiding into a weary resignation. She stepped closer, placing a hand on your cheek, her thumb brushing against it. "Just… promise me you won't do anything like that again without talking to me first."
You nodded, feeling the weight of her concern. "I promise, beloved. I’ll be more careful."
She sighed, pulling you into a tight embrace. "Good. I don’t want to lose you. You're too important to me."
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Gale:
When you showed Gale your new ersatz eye, his reaction was immediate. His brows furrowed, and his mouth dropped open in disbelief.
"You let Volo pluck out your eye?" he asked, incredulous. "Are you out of your mind?"
You shifted uncomfortably, feeling the weight of his disapproval. "I didn't mean to let him pluck it out, it just... happened, when he was trying to get rid of the parasite. But! It gives me the ability to see things I couldn’t before."
Gale shook his head, launching into a rant. "Volo is a charlatan, a storyteller with a penchant for the dramatic. Trusting him with something as delicate and vital as your eye is beyond foolish. And to think he could remove the parasite?! What if it had gone wrong and you were left with no vision at all?"
As he continued, his voice growing more animated, he inadvertently let something slip, "And yet, despite the madness of it all, I have to admit, it’s… it's incredibly attractive in a strange, reckless sort of way."
You blinked, taken aback by his confession. A smile crept onto your face as you saw the realization dawn on his.
"Gale," you said softly, stepping closer, batting your eyelashes at him "you think my new eye is attractive?"
He stammered, momentarily thrown off his rant. "Well, I mean… it's not the point. You were still a fool to trust Volo, but… yes, there’s a certain allure to it."
You leaned in, silencing him with a kiss. His initial surprise melted into a deep, passionate response as he pulled you closer. When you finally pulled back, you whispered against his lips, "Thank you for caring, Gale. And for finding me attractive, even when I do foolish things."
He chuckled softly, resting his forehead against yours. "Just promise me, no more reckless decisions without consulting me first. I can't bear the thought of losing you."
"I promise," you replied, your heart swelling with affection. "I’ll be more careful from now on."
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Astarion:
As you approached Astarion with your new ersatz eye, the night air seemed to still. He had stayed at camp whilst you and the others were exploring the grove, it had given you time to prepare for this moment. He was lounging casually, a goblet of blood (where it was sourced you did not want to know) in hand, when you revealed your altered appearance. His reaction was immediate and dramatic, his eyes widening in horror and surprise.
"By the gods, what have you done?!" Astarion yelped, his voice a mix of shock and disbelief. It was as if he had seen a ghost or been caught in a sudden, terrifying twist of fate. His reaction was so pronounced that you couldn’t help but feel a pang of annoyance.
You crossed your arms, frowning as you looked at him. "Astarion, really? I didn’t think it would be that shocking."
He flinched, his grip tightening around his goblet. "I—I'm sorry. I just wasn’t expecting it. You startled me, dear."
You started to turn away, feeling a mix of frustration and embarrassment. But Astarion quickly moved to stop you, placing a gentle hand on your arm. "Please, don’t go. I truly apologize for my reaction. I just… didn’t know how to handle it at first."
You looked at him, seeing the genuine remorse in his eyes. "It’s alright, Astarion. I suppose it was a bit sudden."
He sighed, pulling you into a tender embrace. "I should have been more composed. I’m just… well, shocked, darling. It is not everyday your dearest appears with a brand new eye. I apologise a thousand times over."
You softened at his touch, resting your head against his shoulder. "I’m not angry. Just a little embarrassed. But thank you for apologizing."
Astarion nuzzled into your neck, his voice warm against your skin. "I promise I’ll adjust. Your new eye is… striking. And it suits you, even if it did give me a fright."
You chuckled softly, feeling reassured by his embrace. "I’m glad you think so. It’s a bit different, but it has its uses."
"Well I simply cannot wait to see you put it to work my darling." Astarion smiled, pressing a kiss to your cheek, he was still in the doghouse but this was a promising start.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Wyll:
When you revealed your new ersatz eye to Wyll, his reaction was immediate. His eyes widened in shock, and he let out a low whistle.
“By the gods, you actually let Volo pluck out your eye?” His voice was a mix of disbelief and concern.
You hesitated, feeling a bit awkward under his gaze. “Well not exactly, but let's not focus on that right now. The eye lets me see things I couldn't before.”
"We will get back to that later." Wyll shook his head at you, a bemused expression on his face. He tilted his face as he took you in. “Foolish, but then again, I suppose I can’t say much. After all, I’ve done my fair share of reckless things.”
He managed a half-smile, stepping closer and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.
“Welcome to the one-eye club,” he said, his tone softening. “You’re now part of a very exclusive group.”
You blinked, a bit surprised but touched by his attempt at lightening the mood. “I am honoured, you have my eternal thanks, my love.”
Wyll’s smile widened, and he pulled you into a gentle embrace. “You’re still my beloved, no matter how many eyes you have or don’t have. Just… try to avoid letting anyone else poke at your eye, alright?”
You chuckled softly, feeling a mix of relief and affection and you melted into his embrace. “I’ll keep that in mind, Wyll.”
"Good, now it looks like I have some competition for the prettiest member of the one-eyed club." Wyll murmurs, and you laugh, pulling away. Wyll kisses your forehead and smiles to you, "Fierce competition indeed."
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Halsin:
When you revealed your new ersatz eye to Halsin, his reaction was immediate and deeply telling. His usually calm demeanor was replaced with a mixture of disappointment and concern. He drew in a sharp breath and let out a low, disapproving sigh. As he examined your altered appearance, his brow furrowed and he shook his head in disbelief, tsking softly under his breath.
"You let Volo perform such a risky procedure? Why would you trust someone like him with something so delicate?" Halsin’s voice was a mix of disbelief and frustration. His eyes were fixed on the artificial eye, assessing its placement and function with a critical eye.
Feeling a pang of guilt and embarrassment, you pouted, your shoulders drooping slightly as if you were a child being reprimanded. You reached out tentatively, wrapping your arms around Halsin in a heartfelt hug, hoping to mitigate the disappointment in his gaze.
"Please don’t be mad at me," you murmured against his chest, your voice muffled. "I thought it was a good idea at the time. I really didn’t think it would cause this much trouble."
Halsin’s expression softened, though his concern was still evident. He gently placed a hand on your back, the touch warm and reassuring.
"I’m not angry with you, my love," he said, his voice calm but firm. "I just wish you wouldn’t let hacks like Volo have their way with you. It’s not only reckless but downright dangerous. I care deeply about your well-being."
You tightened your embrace, nuzzling into his chest as if trying to seek comfort and solace. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I’ll try to be more careful next time," you said, your voice earnest and apologetic.
Halsin’s posture relaxed as he allowed himself a soft chuckle. He wrapped his arms around you more securely, drawing you into a protective embrace.
"I’m not truly mad, just worried," he admitted, his tone warm and gentle. "I don’t want to see you put yourself at risk. You’re far too important to me for that."
You looked up at him, your eyes reflecting a mixture of relief and affection. A small, hopeful smile tugged at your lips. "Thank you for understanding," you said, your voice filled with gratitude.
Halsin smiled back, his eyes softening as he leaned down to press a tender kiss to your forehead.
"Always," he murmured, his voice filled with sincerity. "Just promise me you’ll be more cautious in the future. I care too much about you to see you hurt, especially when it’s avoidable."
You nodded, feeling reassured by his comforting words and the warmth of his embrace. "I promise, Halsin," you said, your voice steady and sincere.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Hope you guys enjoyed it ! - Seluney xoxo
Keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x
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ohthewh0rror · 11 months ago
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ETERNALLY YOURS.
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˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — The follow up to ‘I’ve Dug Two Graves For Us, My Dear.’ Now that your marriage has been irreparably damaged, where do the two of you go from here?
Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader
Word count: 2k
A/N: I changed my mind after writing a completely different ending. At first I wanted to make it angst-filled and unhappy but I keep writing sad stuff, and you guys deserve a break. Thank you to my best friend Madie for proof-reading/editing this once again and to @brooklynscherry-z for helping me get a better understanding of Tom & Mattheo’s lore. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this (much shorter) continuation to ‘I’ve Dug Two Graves For Us, My Dear”!
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“A letter arrived for you this morning, Y/N,” came the soft voice of your great aunt Delia, her wrinkled hand holding the letter out for you. For a second you were confused, unsure of who would have sent you a letter, especially at such an early hour, until it dawned on you.
Your husband.
A pang of hurt hit your heart at the thought of him. It had been two months since you had seen or spoken to him and though you hated him, another, smaller, part of you missed him terribly. He had been your first love and dearest friend, and his infidelity wasn’t enough to completely erase the love you’ve held for him since the two of you were only seventeen.
As you held the letter in your hands you contemplated not opening it, to instead toss it in the trash and forget it ever arrived. You eyed the entrance to the kitchens, the trash was right through that door, you could throw it away and leave the contents of the letter a mystery. But, as you turned the letter over in your hands, you felt curiosity eating at the back of your mind, beckoning you to open the letter and dissect its contents.
‘Well…it couldn’t hurt,’ you thought, gently unfolding the parchment. As your eyes skimmed over the opening of the letter, you soon realized this was not a letter you should read in the company of others. Folding the letter back up, you looked at your aunt, asking “may I be excused?”
Her eyes darted between the parchment and your eyes, and she looked as if she wanted to ask you something but she waved you off instead, wordlessly telling you that you may take your leave.
You gave her a nod of gratitude before heading to the room you were staying in, trying your hardest to seem normal. Once you entered your room, you made sure to lock the doors and cast a silencing charm for good measure. You did not want your aunt to hear you in the event that you became upset.
Sitting at the desk in the corner of your room, you unfolded the letter and began to read it once again.
Dear Y/N,
I hope this letter finds you well. It has been two months since I have seen or spoken to you, and I must admit that I miss you more than I thought myself capable of. I understand that what I did was unforgivable in your eyes, but I hope by telling you everything it will help you process what is going on so we may move forward from this.
A year ago I approached Bellatrix with the proposition of conceiving and carrying my heir. I explained I did this out of a need to produce an heir and you had not been able to get pregnant yourself. Once she had the child, the child would be ours to raise, she was merely going to be a surrogate of sorts; she understood and agreed to the terms and from there we began the affair.
She finally fell pregnant 6 months ago with a boy. While I should've told you about my plans before approaching her, I most definitely should have told you once she was with child. I am sincerely sorry that you found out the way you did. I wish I could have told you myself, under better circumstances.
Please consider coming back home so that we may be a proper family.
Eternally yours, Tom
You felt a few tears slip out and drip from your eyes onto the parchment, smearing the ink that stained the page with its terrible words. Oh how you wish he hadn’t written to you. His answers did not bring any form of acceptance of his actions, only further heartbreak. It was hard for you to comprehend how he could have sex with her and then return home to you as if all was normal.
“Reducio,” you muttered, shrinking the letter. You carefully folded it, being sure not to rip it, before you got out of your seat and made your way to your closet. On the top shelf, in the furthest corner, sat an intricately carved wooden box with flowers lining the top and sides. The initials M.R sat right above the lock. You conjured a small stepping stool, but even with the stool you were still unable to reach it, leaving yourself to blindly swipe your hand across the shelf till you finally felt your fingers bump the edge.
With what you were looking for finally in your grasp, you got off the stool and went back to your desk. You sat down again, reaching towards one of the desk drawers, and pulling it open to retrieve the small key for the box. As soon as the lock clicked, you opened the top, revealing an empty interior.
The box was made to hold important milestone objects and keepsakes for your son. You planned to fill it with your own letters and pictures so that you could look back on it when he is older and no longer needs you, to remind yourself of simpler times. You hadn’t planned on putting anything related to Tom in there. The thought of him was far too painful, and you didn’t want to taint the little bits of happiness within.
Taking the shrunken letter you placed it in the box before sliding off your wedding ring and putting it on top of the letter. As you closed the box once again, you felt as if you were also closing the metaphorical lid on your marriage. You wouldn’t grace Tom with your presence, a simple letter would have to suffice as you decided you were going to effectively cut him out of your life.
Dear Tom,
I will keep this letter simple and to the point. I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to take some form of accountability for your actions, as I know it’s not something that comes easy to you. But, I will not be returning home nor will we be playing at being a happy family. If you want to be a family as badly as you say, then leave our marriage intact but let us live separate lives. Don’t worry, I do not plan to date or remarry, for you are my first and final love.
That all being said, do not contact me again unless it is with divorce proceedings.
P.s. congratulations on the heir you always wanted.
Sincerely, Y/N
Putting your quill down, you read over the letter one more time to be sure this was what you wanted your final words to him to be. Satisfied with what you wrote, you got out of your chair once again and left the room, heading towards the back garden where you knew the owl belonging to your aunt would be.
Walking into the small building that housed her owl you saw the bird, Chipp, still here and not away delivering mail for your aunt. You gave Chipp a few treats as a thank you for going out in the cold for delivering this letter for you before holding the letter out for the owl to take. Chipp happily took the parchment and flew off to take the letter to its recipient.
That was the last time you spoke to Tom. As the months turned to years, Tom became a distant, painful memory.
11 years later
“Mattheo! Wait up!” You called out to your son, as he excitedly ran ahead of you. You were winded trying to keep up with him, trying hard not to lose him in the crowd of teary-eyed mothers and nervous children. When you finally caught up to him, you grabbed him by the shoulder, halting him. “I understand you’re excited, but will you try not to run off,” you were panting slightly, “I would at least like to tell you goodbye.”
Mattheo looked exasperated, trying already to seem too cool to tell his mother bye. “But mum—” he started, trying to justify his running off. “No buts; now, let me see you,” you said, motioning him to turn around. He groaned, turning around to face you. You held him by his arms in front of you, “listen, and actually listen to me for once; listen to your professors and don’t cause trouble, I know how—” you paused mid sentence when something out of the corner of your eye caught your attention.
It was your husband.
Your husband, who you hadn’t seen in 11 years, with a young boy standing beside him. The two of you locked eyes and you felt a wave of discomfort hit you. How could you have been so stupid? Of course he would be here, his son and Mattheo are close in age, they’d obviously go to school together.
You decided to skip the speech and quickly walk further up the platform, trying to put more room between you and Tom. You didn’t want Tom to approach you and attempt to talk to you or your son. Mattheo didn’t need to go through such a confusing altercation on such an important day. This day was only about him and you wanted it to be special.
Once you put a satisfying amount of room between the two of you, you stopped and your son decided to ask why that man was staring at you. Waving him off, you explained, “he’s just someone I used to know, that’s all.” Mattheo looked like he had more questions, but you didn’t give him the chance to ask them. Instead, you gave him a parting kiss on the forehead and told him goodbye before all but pushing him onto the train.
You backed away and watched Mattheo walk further into the train before he finally disappeared from sight. You felt your eyes well up with tears at the reality of your son leaving for Hogwarts, giving you definitive proof of how old he was getting. It made you wish you possessed a time turner, just so you could go back to the beginning and do it all over again.
As you shuffled back toward the exit, you were lost in thought over how Mattheo would do at Hogwarts. What house would he be in? Would he make friends? How would he do academically? You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed someone closing in on you until it was too late.
You felt a hand wrap around your bicep and pull you back slightly causing you to stumble into their chest. You whipped around, about to give the owner of the offending hand a piece of your mind when you saw who was touching you.
Tom looked at you, and though his face remained neutral, you swear you saw a glint of hurt in his eyes. He released your arm only to place a hand on the small of your back, “walk with me, Y/N?”
You hesitated for a second before giving him a small nod and walking with him back towards the entrance to platform 9 ¾. There was a moment of tense, awkward silence before he spoke.
“What is his name?” Tom asked. You thought about whether you wanted to tell him or not, as you knew where this conversation was headed.
“Mattheo,” was all you said. Not giving away his full name, as you weren’t ready to admit you’d given him Tom’s last name.
Tom went silent again and you looked up to see him deep in thought. Not wanting to make the situation any more uncomfortable by just staring at him, you looked away, waiting for him to speak once again. Though, once he spoke, you wish he had kept the awkward silence between you two.
“Have dinner with me tonight.”
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Taglist: @the-sweet-psycho @mypolicemanharryyy @jessysfangirlworld @homan-oid @motherofdragons1998 @theeslutintheroom @pasta01 @lovefks @mwahbella @storminacloud @brooklynscherry-z @eri-s-big-sis @eversei @tomhollandisabae @rlblackbarbie @cyphah @cookielovesbook-akie
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xreaderwrites · 30 days ago
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Summary: Cheating Death is so much harder when she claws her way out of the dirt.
Tags: scheming, complex feelings, pining, Teen is Billy Maximoff, to be continued
Words: 1k+ | AO3
A/N: a story is a-brewing but the story must marinate…gestate even
A hand bursts from the ground and you shove Billy between yourself and Agatha. He doesn’t protest, his eyes stuck  on the woman clawing her way out of the dirt as he yells about reanimation.
It’s worse. Instead of the spell going horribly wrong it’s gone horribly right, with the best Green Witch they could have possibly gotten. Death herself.
You swallow harshly and pull Teen back with you (and he is Teen now. No other name shall be uttered with Death so close). He’s in such a grey area that both sides can be made. He was never technically alive, not in the way the people Death take are, so him coming back doesn’t break any rules and yet it is his soul that is here on this plane, something she very much deals with. 
Both sides can be made but you are much weaker than she is. You won’t stand a chance.
Agatha screaming and clawing for Death sends your stomach plummeting. It’s good that they won’t be teaming up against you together, your chances of success in that situation are so infinitesimally small, but now you’re fighting on three fronts.
This isn’t the first time you’ve regretted Teen finding your work but this is the first time you’ve hated yourself for it. To have him die so young during his second chance of life…Wanda will never forgive you. In this life or the next.
Agatha storms off and it isn’t long before Rio skips after her.
Teen calling your name makes you realise how harshly you’re clinging to him.
“Are you okay?” he asks worriedly.
Your gaze stays firmly locked on the two witches ahead. Rio sends you a knowing smile mid-twirl. 
It makes you sick. Instead of bringing Wanda back, you’ll be protecting the boy she lost her mind trying to save.
“I’m fine,” you give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze and, ignoring the looks the other three are giving you, you follow Rio up the Witches Road.
Jen and Alice start up behind you and what would’ve been a fun conversation about liking scary women is made easy to ignore with Teen beside you.
“Do you know her?” he asks cautiously. 
He knows how touchy you can be with your past. You have to push the guilt away to concentrate on the question. You’ve to be so careful with everything you say for so long one would think it would be easier by now.
“I know of her, yes,” you allow. “She’s extremely powerful. A good catch for the Road.”
“But?” Teen pushes.
“But…” how to put it, “Her connections to others can be weak, or at least slow to build. Not a quality you want when facing the trials.” Your eyes slide to Agatha, “But that isn’t exactly a new danger. We couldn’t trust Sharon to get us out of a bind, either.”
A frown creases Teen’s face.
“But she was so nice.”
You cast him a long look. Does he really not know she wasn’t a witch? It’s so hard to tell.
“She was incredibly weak, power-wise, and her knowledge was extremely limited. We couldn’t trust her to help us because she wouldn’t have been able to. It’s nothing against her.”
This seems to ease him as his body relaxes and his usual smile begins to poke through, dampened by seeing death so closely. 
It’s your turn to frown. You wish you had known him before the sigil. Then you’d be able to know how much of his naivety is real. He’s a sixteen year old witch and he broke his mother’s curse. That isn’t a small thing. He shouldn’t be this powerful and yet have so little knowledge of what the world is capable of.
You don’t even know what he’s looking for at the end of the Road.
Your frown deepens as you watch Rio shadow Agatha.
It’s no use telling Teen to keep his distance. He’s been glued to Agatha’s side and Rio seems intent on subtly doing the same. Not to mention being on the Road means distance from one another is deadly. This whole situation is frustrating to say the least. But what were you really expecting when traversing the Witches Road?
He gives you a look and you manage to nod your head without rolling your eyes. He scampers ahead to Agatha’s side.
Rio was a few step behind her but she allows a gap to grow as Teen passes her.
You sigh to yourself and catch up to Rio. Matching her pace, you allow the distance between you and Teen to grow before speaking. 
“Interested in a trade?” you ask her. 
Her sharp grin has the hair on your arms rising.
“Do you have anything interesting?”
No, that’s why you’re on the road. It’s too late to offer a life for a life and Wanda would never forgive you if you went to the lengths needed to bring her back whole. Lengths that have only ever been rumoured.
You ask the question anyway to get to the one you want to ask most.
“My life?”
“You know the rules.”
“Yes, but if something much more…powerful than myself attempted to bring her back, would you stop it?”
Her calculating gaze is more terrifying than her crazy grin.
“The Road gives you what you’re missing,” is her only response.
It’s not the straight answer you were hoping for but it’s also not a yes. Which means your plan isn’t completely fucked. 
“While I have you here,” you say before she flutters off back into Agatha’s orbit, “I would like to make it very clear that any delusions I had of revenge or…roadblocks regarding Agatha have been thoroughly discarded with your arrival.”
Rio flashes a smile that is pure threat. 
“Smart girl.”
It’s easy to ignore the effect she has on you when are currently so aware that the threat extends to Wanda too.
You also want to tell Death about Wanda not being a threat to Agatha but you can’t. It may be true now, but who knows what will happen to Teen between now and when you see her? Your best will mean nothing to the Road. Your life probably will too.
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midgetmoth · 7 days ago
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I have realized somehing with the news of a possible Farmer Vic. I looked back at “The Box” episode, and rewatched a specific scene.
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The lasso scene. I never really considered it, but Vic knows how to use that lasso very, very well. During the scene, we as the audience see this as a callback to the first episode Victim was introduced into. The video that showed him and his clone using the different tools to fight against their creator.
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But this is very different with the context of how GOOD Victim is at using the lasso tool. He didn’t just learn to use it, he learned to master it. He snagged Chosen out of the air-
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-and then brought him in. Closing the distance, pulling on the rope until-
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-he tugged on the end and brought Chosen straight to him.
To anyone, this was a clear message to Vic’s capabilities with working with tools, but what stood out to me was the scene that happens immediately after.
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Chosen starts attempting to flee from Vic, dazed and already pinned, and Victim?
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.. He cracks the whip, showing his strength behind the hit, the anger. The camera then slowly zooms in on Chosen-
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Its this slow, subtle rise in music that we suddenly understand what’s going on. Chosen knows who this is now, Chosen suddenly remembers exactly who this is.
Everyone has been joking about how Farmer Vic’s home is about to get nuked by fire in the next AVA drop, but if that is the context: Everything lines up.
Victim having a reason to hurt Chosen, Chosen not even remembering who Victim is despite destroying his home, Victim’s cold reaction to seeing the Dark Lord getting nuked by Second(Orange) in the scene where it shows his death.
Everything suddenly makes sense. Victim isn’t just attacking Chosen because he can.
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Victim isn’t just getting his revenge on Alan.
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He is shaming the god who hurt his friends. The animals, the sticks who took Victim in upon his first fall down to the lands he’s now stuck in.
He was casted by his god to die, but was saved by strangers. He was given a home with cattle and lamb, given food and comfort. For once in his life he was safe and free from pain.
Then Chosen and Dark came along, born from the same god that had casted Victim aside. The same god who now unwilling unleashed hell upon the lands.
Victim would have watched his new friends and family burn. He could have watched the horror happen right in front of him. He hates the hollows for what they did, reminding him of his past creator, of his past in general. Filled with grief and sorrows he wished to swallow down, but instead was forced to live with.
So he hatched a plan, one to be seen by us, but in my opinion? He’s already succeeded in half of his plan.
He has humiliated the so-called “God” “, “The Chosen One”, and “The Dark Lord” is dead. Two threats now no longer threats. Now all he needs to do is reach Alan.
.. but then what? What happens when the smoke clears, when Alan is gone? Will he return to his life before? Will he try to leave behind his men and venture on to finally find his peace? Will he feel complete or content with his decisions?
Will he finally feel okay to grieve? To cry for what he has lost? To hold the remains of what was his first real life? Will he feel remorseful to those he hurt along the way? Will he ever say sorry or forgive any who hurt him?
If you ask me, no. I don’t think he ever will say sorry or forgive anyone, and he has a right to. He was born to be nothing more then a Victim to other’s crimes. He was born to be nothing more then a Victim to other’s wrath. He never deserved to be hurt, he never deserved to be tormented by a god that should have loved him.
Victim deserved to be happy. He deserved to have friends, play games, venture to new lands, see the beauty of life and enjoy it. He deserved to be held as he cried, hugged closely when scared, and protected when threatened.
Victim, Vic, deserved to live, and not suffer.
but because of Alan’s actions, because of Dark and Chosen’s actions, he does.
and now it’s no longer Vic who’s becoming the Victim.
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relaxxattack · 7 months ago
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you are so very homestuck knowledgeable. when you have the time and should inspiration strike, please tell all your headcanons about oliveblood trolls.
ooo what a great question! for this one i think first we'd need to break down current stereotypes about olivebloods. there's actually not much that we're given about them tbh
according to the homestuck wiki, which is based on info from both the comic and more dubiously canon things like friendsim and hiveswap, the olive caste's two singular traits seem to be "wild animal" and "romance liker". both of these, obviously, are traits pulled from our wonderful main girl nepeta, who was the singular representation of the olive caste for a long time; alongside her dancestors. which is quite cute, who doesn't love nepeta?
the thing is though that i am one of those nitpicky people who likes to say, "well, hey now, nepeta isn't actually representative of her caste at ALL." in fact, none of the beta trolls are. i honestly feel like it should be assumed that just like the beta kids, the beta trolls are weirdos, and not really the 'norm' in their society.
nepeta lives out in the wilderness very specifically away from society in a way that is remarked on as being unusual even for someone of her color; and she does not even understand what role her caste would have given her in normal society. and i mean... considering aradia tavros and sollux are LOWER than nepeta, it doesn't really make sense for them all to have nicer houses than her unless she's unusual in her situation.
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^ nepeta is in fact NOT a good representation of olivebloods.
which means... no, i don't think all olive trolls are romance obsessed wilderness girls, actually, sorry, hiveswap friendsim, i have to shelve you from my alternia analysis for now.
luckily, there ARE other olivebloods in the series!
first of all, the other leijons. unfortunately, none of them are really "good" examples either. meulin is from an entirely different planet, and disciple is from an ancient history perhaps even less representative of "normal" life than nepeta is. all we really get from them is stuff we already knew from nepeta-- the wildness, the relationship interest. with an added fact that both meulins seem to be somewhat bookish.
and so who does that bring us to? the final canonical oliveblood.
that's right.
troll will smith.
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troll will smith is canonically an oliveblood. not only that, but he's a famous actor, which means he is basically a "model" for society- for what it looks like once you "have it all made". i would imagine this goes even more for alternia, supposedly a very movie-geared society.
the two troll will smith features that canonically exist on alternia are Fresh Prince and Hitch. in both of these films, will smith plays a character that is self-made and clever, a regular guy who is just skilled. it should also be noted that while a "threshecutioner" is a job with a heavy blueblood populous, greenbloods can also be one, and it's common enough that a show about it wasn't cut by the alternian dictatorship.
so therefore, what traits can we pull that all of these olivebloods (and equius lol) display to us?
olive trolls are lower class, but they're capable of working up through their connections
likely due to this, olive trolls are often clever and self made. they're likely quick-witted and sharp
they're good at their jobs! most olive trolls that are seen in the comic are very good with their respective practices (be it drawing, writing, bookkeeping, or melee fighting)
it's possible that olive trolls have a good intuition, and are fairly in touch with their own instincts. this would explain why some of them seem to fare better in the wild or in fights, and also why they are stereotyped as having a natural inclination for relationships. i think this is also a good transition ground between the impressive physical psionics of the castes lower than olive, and the emotional/mental psionics of the highbloods above them.
so, there we go. these are my olive headcanons! they're not comfortably well off or anything, but they're not wild animals either-- they're hard workers and skilled at what they put their minds to. probably usually working a nine to five and doing their best in life hoping to move up with a good quadrant or promotion. at least, in my headcanon anyway- no need to take this as fact!
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darlingdesire · 1 year ago
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GOOD GIRL 18+
Harry is your sexy, rich boss. And you occasionally fuck in his office—so here's that!!
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“Come here.”
His words were simple, but the way he spoke them sent a shiver down your spine and your breathing momentarily halt. Harry was sat at his desk, the only light coming from the lamp that cast a golden haze over his figure, intensifying the dark look on his face.
He looked up at you as if seeing right through you, reading every thought in your mind. "Y/N" His voice sounded deep and commanding yet still gentle. "Come here." He said again, this time more sternly than ever before. "Do not make me ask again."
You swallowed hard, trying to help down the shy feeling you got when Harry spoke to you this way; nodded, and began to make your feet move over to his desk. Your heels clicking against the floor was the only sound heard in his large office.
As soon as you made contact with his desk, he grabbed hold of both sides of your hips and pulled you closer towards himself. "Good girl..." he whispered into your ear, causing goosebumps to rise all over your body. "...now sit down."
You blinked at him, trying to gauge what he meant by that; your mind was trying to figure out if he meant on the desk, or on his lap. You were overthinking it greatly, but being in his presence made you get that way. Who could blame you, he was your boss—one wrong move and you could be gone and replaced by some other girl just with a snap of his fingers. But you knew he wouldn't do that, he adored you too much.
He chuckled softly, watching you struggle to comprehend. "Sit on my lap, Love." He said simply, looking straight ahead without any hint of emotion whatsoever. "Don't think about anything else besides sitting there. Just focus on doing exactly as I say."
You glanced down at his clothed lap; it looked inviting, very inviting. So you lowered yourself down until you were seated on his lap. You tried to control your breathing, but knowing what was underneath you made you feel flustered. You could feel the way it had indented his black pants, and it pressed against the bottom of your thigh very distinctly.
His hand reached up and cupped one side of your face gently, stroking along your cheekbone."Relax, love." He murmured quietly, leaning forward slightly so that your noses brushed together. "Just breathe slowly...in through your nose...out through your mouth..good girl.”
You still hadn't said anything since entering his office, and you don't think you were capable of it anyway as you focused on steadying your breathing. It was embarrassing how much your heart was beating.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched you try not to make too much noise while struggling to keep calm. “That's right, darling. Calm yourself down now..." He whispered soothingly, brushing his thumb across your lower lip once more. "...just let go...”
“Harry...” You whispered, not knowing what you were gonna say after that, the word just trailed off into the air. But it was also a plea, a desperate plea that begged him to continue with what he was doing—God, you wanted him bad.
The look in his eye told you everything you needed to know without needing to hear another word. "Shh...it'll be alright, darling." He said softly, kissing your forehead tenderly before pulling back again. “Now close your eyes for me, please?" He asked quietly, looking down.
You closed your eyes; the darkness clouding your vision and you could only focus on his touch and the heat of his intense stare on your face. This was a regular thing for the two of you, probably once or twice a week when he had to stay behind after hours for some work things, and since you were his assistant; you had to stay as well, so what better way to relieve stress than this. It had started a few months after you started working for him, and now, one year into this job it was still going on strong. He was a very successful man, very rich, and very attractive.
His hands moved slowly up your sides, stopping briefly at your waistband. "Good girl," he murmured, giving your cheek a soft kiss before continuing on. "Just relax, love. Let me take care of you tonight."
Your chest started rising and falling deeply, continuing to focus on his hands that smoothed over your body. You felt the heat in your core burn more rapidly, more hotter. It was making you go insane, you couldnt keep yourself calm as you felt his fingers ghost over the waistband of your black skirt.
A low chuckle escaped his lips as he heard your breathing become heavier. "Such an obedient little pet aren't we?" He teased, slowly letting his fingers move underneath the waistband and go further down."Tell me how much you want this, baby..."
Your thighs couldn't help but close, his teasing touches too much for you to handle, but he didn't like that and used his free hand to push your thighs apart—squeezing on the flesh as a warning to keep them open.
The sound of his voice sent shivers through your spine, causing goosebumps to form. "Keep those legs spread wide for me, darling" He said huskily, moving his other arm around your front and pulled you closer to his chest, pinning you against his chest as the hand that was inside your skirt finally met your panties. “You didn't answer my question.”
Your eyes snapped open and you dropped your head down to look at where his hand was hidden; “So bad,” Your murmured, squirming on his lap a little when his fingers started ghosting over your clit, “I want it.”
His grin widened."Good girl." He whispered softly into your ear, continuing to tease you by rubbing circles around your clit. "Now tell me what you need, love..tell me how badly you want this...how badly..."
Your hair fell down your shoulders in waves, hiding your face from him and you closed your eyes again to relinquish the pleasurable feeling he was giving you. “I need you to...” You gasped softly when he pushed his hand into your panties and used his other hand to push your legs further apart. “Touch me like that.”
A low hum rumbled out of his throat as he felt your body tense up beneath him. "Hmm? Tell me more, baby." He teased, sliding two fingers between your folds and pressing gently against your entrance. "Tell me what else you need."
You nodded slowly, your lips parting as you drew in shallow breaths. “I need you to fuck me...” Your hand went to grab his clothed wrist, making sure his own hand stayed there inside your panties and not anywhere else; “Hard.”
A smirk spread across his lips as he heard those words leave your mouth. "Hard?" He asked teasingly, pushing another finger inside you while still using his thumb to rub against your sensitive spot. "You want me to fuck you so hard?" He pushed your hair out of your face and pulled your head back so it was resting by his; and he whispered the next words into your ear; “and rough, baby?”
Your eyes clenched shut when you felt two of his fingers sink into your entrance; “Please.” You whimpered, your hips shifted around and you were slowly moving against his lap—against his cock that was hard and ready for you.
His breath hitched slightly as he saw how eager you were becoming. "So needy..." He groaned quietly, leaning forward to kiss your neck and shoulder before whispering again. "...So perfect for me aren't you, my perfect girl, hmm?”
You nodded again, unable to form words as his fingers continued to relentlessly pleasure you—over and over again and he just wasn't stopping. You breath caught in your throat and your grip on his wrist tightened as you felt the knot in your belly tighten, you felt him kiss his way up your neck, knowing you were about to cum all over his fingers— he proceeded to make them move faster and harder.
As soon as you started moaning loudly, he knew what was coming next. "Sweet girl gonna cum?" He chuckled softly, biting down gently on your collarbone before pulling away from you. “Cum for me,” He whispered into your ear, and just like that on command, you felt the flood gates open and the rope fully snap.
Your entire body tensed as you climaxed, and his arm tightened around your body, keeping you pinned close to him as to make sure you didn't wriggle away to get away from the intense pleasure. “Harry!” You smacked your hand down onto his neck, holding it to keep his face close to yours.
He smirked widely, kissing your lips passionately once more. "Good girl." he said smugly, squeezing your side as he held you tight against himself. His other hand ran through your hair affectionately, stroking it lightly while still pinning you to him, “come here.”
You turned your face to his and immediately, he closed his mouth over yours without any warning—like he was desperate for that kind of closeness. You moaned softly against his lips and he began to move his hands up your sides, smoothing up over your shirt and suddenly ripped it open, the buttons flew off and you gasped; his tongue entering your mouth. His hands went under the shirt and moved over your skin, cupping your breasts that we're covered by your lace bra.
His fingers traced along the lace over your bra and pulled it down, your breast spilled out and he immediately cupped it. "Mmm...” He moaned against your lips darkly at the feeling of your breast against his hand. He pulled away from the kiss; his eyes so dark and filled with lust it made you want to hide away, “Bend over the desk.”
You wasted no time in climbing off his lap and finding home bent over his desk. He followed suit and stood up, instantly pressing his crotch to your ass, grinding harshly to relieve the hardness in his pants. You heard his belt clink and clank as he undone it, quickly moving onto unzipping his belt and pushed his pants down.
He grabbed hold of your hips tightly and pressed himself against you roughly, groaning. "S’lovely..." He said lowly, looking at you with an intense look in his eye. His hands were shaking slightly as they gripped your thighs firmly, holding them apart. He watched the way his cock moved against your soft thighs; though he was an impatient man and then pulled your panties down to your knees.
You could only lay there and take it as he pushed his tip into your soaking-wet entrance. He pushed your legs further apart. And you momentarily stopped breathing as you focused on feeling him enter you fully. “Fuck...” You whispered, letting your cheek drop against the cold desk and closed your eyes.
His breath hitched when he felt how tight you were around him, gripping his shaft like a vice. "God fuck." He cursed under his breath, pushing deeper inside of you until he hit bottom. Your walls squeezed him painfully, making him grit his teeth. You felt so good—so fucking good every single time. He could never get enough of your sweet little pussy.
Your mouth opened further when you felt him bottom out. He was all the way inside of you, and he was so thick... it quite literally took your breath away every time you fucked. You couldn't see straight when you felt him pull out halfway and then push back in, this time pressing deeper and deeper, making you whine out and spread your arm out above you to grab the edge of the desk as some sort of anchor.
He groaned loudly, burying his hand into your hair as he began thrusting harder and faster now, slamming himself deep within you each time."Fucking hell..." His voice came out strained and low, sounding almost animalistic. "So fucking good... So goddamn perfect..."
You were crying out everytime he slammed into you. You couldn't move underneath him, couldn't utter a single word expect mewl out an unintelligible noise with every thrust he did into you. You could feel him all over you—gripping your hips for better leverage every now and then, in your hair when he felt like hearing your noises louder, on your neck...
His breathing grew heavier and more ragged as well, sweat dripping down onto your thighs below him. He leaned forward slightly, moving one hand firmly on your neck and the other snaked down to your wet pussy while continuing to pound away at you relentlessly. "Fuck... Fuck... Oh god..."
His fingers began to circle over your clit; intensifying the harsh pleasure you were already feeling and you were so close to cumming. You wanted to cum so bad, you needed it—the pleasure was too much for you, but oh god did it feel amazing. “Harry, I'm gonna...”
He growled deeply, pressing himself closer to you as he kept going at full speed. "Cum for me baby." He said harshly, biting down on your shoulder gently before pulling back again. "I want to hear you cum." He kissed your shoulder and began to rub his fingers faster of your clit.
You tensed around him again, you walls clenched his cock as it drove deeply inside of you over and over again at a rapid, hard pace; that mixed with the way his finger were circling over the bundle of nerves made you reach the peak point and you felt your hard climax drown you. You smacked your hand down onto the desk, gripping the edge hard as you screamed.
The sound of your orgasm echoed throughout the room, causing him to groan loudly. "Oh fuck!" He slammed into you harder than ever before, driving deep within you once more before shooting hot ropes of semen inside of you.
You were a mess as he rode out your orgasms, continuing to thrust into you to make sure all of his cum was deep inside of you. He kissed your shoulder and bit down to stifle his hot moans.
His breathing became heavy after coming so hard. " Fuck.” He muttered quietly, leaning forward to kiss your neck softly. "Such a good girl.”
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glacierclear · 1 year ago
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ISN'T BITE ALSO TOUCH?
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fuckboy!leon x gn!reader (maybe a few gendered terms oops)
content: hurt/no comfort, angst, arguments, passive aggression, mentions of drugs/alcohol
Your best friend is a fuckboy. He ditches you at a party. You argue. Maybe they were right about him.
[ao3 link]
They all tried to tell you. Every single one of them.
He’s bad news, don’t bother. You would scoff.
He’s nothing but a walking penis. He doesn’t care about anything. And you’d roll your eyes.
Every red flag. Every warning sign. Every flashing light. You refused to heed any of them. And you tilled, and you sowed, and you fed. And now? You were reaping.
“I don’t get what the big deal is. You’re a big kid. You don’t need a damn babysitter.” His hands remained clenched, balled up and shoved into the pouch of his hoodie. His posture was lax. Noncommittal. He stared into a wall, his expression detached and unreachable.
“When you called me up tonight to drag me to some stupid frat party, I at least expected you to like, stay with me,” you countered. “We weren’t even there for an hour before you up and ditched me. Streaking across campus like a moron.” The base of your neck throbbed, the fledgling burn of an oncoming migraine. Your clothes still reeked of burnt weed and the cloyingly pungent whiff of cotton candy vape smoke.
“You should be fucking grateful. Wouldn’t have gotten into that party without me. Shit was the best thrasher of the month.” He lifted his head, scorching you with that know-it-all smirk. It huffed the coals of your stomach. You felt like puking.
“I didn’t…oh my god, Leon. I didn’t go for the party. I thought you…I don’t know. I thought you actually wanted to hang out. Have a good night.”
Your fingers burrowed their way through the folds of your sheets and you stayed perched at the edge of your bed. Leon hovered at your doorway, barely present in the space of your dorm, his contour fuzzed with casting light.
He didn’t say anything. Your eyes pulsed and stung. “Look. I’m not mad, I just–”
“You should be.”
“What?”
It’s then that he finally dared to meet your eyes. Blue hues swallowed whole by the pitch of his pupils, seeking you past tendrils of mussed, blonde hair.
“You should be mad. Why aren’t you? Cuz’, you’re right. I fucking ditched you. Like a moron.” He flung the word back with acid and you winced away. “God forbid I have some fun, right? Forgot you’re too much of a buzzkill to actually have fun at a party.”
There’s a throttling impulse to scream at him. Tell him off for being unreasonable and kick his ass to the curb like last week’s trash. But you’ve danced to this song before. The repeating pattern and pervasive enigma of Leon’s refusal to invest himself; emotionally, or otherwise.
So, you sucked in a steadying breath, filled your lungs with patience, and spoke softly.
“It’s not just about the party,” you began, and passively, you noticed him shift. “I mean…streaking? You realize that if you got caught doing that…you wouldn’t have a scholarship anymore. Hell, maybe you’d be expelled.”
The realization settled on him like a poison and you caught his face darken. As much as he denied and disguised, Leon was a smart man. Excellent standing in his classes and a whopping GPA to match the third leg he swung in his pants. It meant a lot to him.
There’s a gap of silence before he opened his mouth again.
“...well, I wasn’t caught. And it was my choice. I don’t need you nagging me like a fucking mom, alright?” His body shrunk in on itself. Caging his softer parts from the reality he narrowly avoided. On a better day, perhaps you’d chase him. Push and fight for a break in his shell, a crevice that gave way to the man you knew he was capable of being. But, God, your head was shattering. Your nausea was worsening. You weren’t making progress.
“Right, well, sorry for caring, Leon,” you relented, turning away from him to click your phone into its charger. “I’m going to bed. Don’t bother inviting me to any more parties.”
Your gaze left him, you weren’t fully aware of his body, but in the fleeting moments following your surrender he’s on you. Lurking above you like the baleful firmament of a roaring summer storm. You hardly had the time to open your mouth before he’s speaking. No, he’s growling. Revving the engine of his fury.
“...so that’s it? You’re not putting up with me anymore?” It could be the headache talking, but you swore you heard a tremble in his voice.
“Huh? The fuck are you–”
“We’re not friends anymore. That’s what you’re doing, right?” You searched the raging sea of his eyes for a raft. But all you did was drown. “I fucked up one too many times and now I’m just another shitty dude you had to put up with.” You watched the chipped black of his nails dig into his arms, tensed up limbs shielding him from what he’s most afraid you’ll confirm.
“Leon, that’s not…we’re still friends, okay? I just don’t want to go to parties like that anymore. Just give me a few days to cool off and we can…I dunno, we’ll hit up that burger joint you love.” It’s a pretty weak bargain, but maybe he’d bite.
And he did bite. He bit and he tore and he sought out blood.
“You’ve always had shitty taste in guys.” He practically spat at you, a scornful wrinkle deepening in the bridge of his nose. “Fucking stand up for yourself. You always let people walk all over you and act surprised when they turn out to be shitheads.”
He leaned in. You smelled him. Overpriced cologne. Underpriced shampoo. Crappy beer he drank even though he hated the taste. Despite it all, you yearned to hug him.
“Leon, I–”
“...and you know what? I don’t fucking need you. I don’t need your little dates. Your pity sex. I don’t need you looking out for my damn scholarships and I especially don’t need you making me look bad when I’m trying to let loose at the party I’ve been looking forward to all goddamn month.” You wanted him to stop. You wanted to bridge the chasm and devour his violence. If only he’d let you. But all he did was bite harder. “I won’t bother inviting you out anymore. Actually, I won’t bother talking to you at all. Have fun with your fucking life, I’m done being your fucking charity. Goodni–”
At the edge of his precipice, the void he dug for solace, Leon plummets. He straightened his spine, eyes widening and jaw hanging lifelessly. You were crying. Tears bursting without prejudice. Staining your face in vulnerability you so often only used to comfort him.
He went too far. And now, you were crying.
Neither of you moved for an eternity. From the hallway of your dorm, you hear the thundering trots of drunken friends laughing and yelling. The noise swelled and faded. The only evidence of a world beyond your room.
He called your name. His voice was so much quieter, held together with twine and stinging regret. You lifted your eyes and your throat barely allowed your words to pass.
“...Great job, Leon. Now I’m mad.” In an act of self-preservation, you tore your gaze away, burning a stare into the ground below his shoes. They’re blotched with dirt and chlorophyll, still damp from his midnight misdemeanor. “I won’t bother you anymore. If you hate me that much, I…I’ll leave you alone.”
His arms unfolded, one hand reaching out, a fragmented attempt to soothe you. But it was too late.
He repeated your name.
“I didn’t…fuck, I shouldn’t have said…hey–”
“Go home, Leon.” Your voice was unwavering, and he flinched back, your ire the open flame he’s too human to touch.
And then he left. Your dorm vibrated with the slam of the door, and you buried your face in your hands. In the place of his feet, soil stained your carpet. In the place of his warmth, sandalwood smoldered the air.
In the place of your love, all you wanted was to die.
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