#The Wanders is a top... five? episode for me.

[awesomebutunpractical]

I started dividing Marty up into multiple broad parts of himself in the style of the Wanders and he has more going on than I thought. Actor Marty, Survivalist Marty, To-Do List Marty, Sweaty Marty, Fed Up Marty-

[archangeldyke-all]

Hear me out, comforting Sevika.

She just lost the closest thing to her best friend, has to take over his responsibilities, and take over Jinx duties plus the addition of Isha. Poor baby is stressed.

Imagine this. After giving Jinx the guest bedroom, setting Isha up in the same room(I feel like she would want to sleep on the floor, she seems like that type of kid.) Gently coaxing Sevika into the bath, washing her hair with the expensive shampoo and conditioner that made her hair the texture she loved so much. Then settling with her in the bed, bringing out the protein infused Peanut MnMs(I feel like she would be a protein fiend.) and setting her favorite record on before cuddling until you both fall asleep.

Just a moment of peace among a war, I dunno I need to hug her rn,

oh yeah i love this soft shit like this

gonna combine this with two more asks (just to spoil the shit outta her hehe)

@lushh-s3vik4s: Can we hear about the stories when sevika was younger? Like the trouble she got into 🤭 like reader and sev just chilling on the couch and she starts telling reader about what she did as a child 🤭🤭

and @cewl-casper: PLEASE ANYTHING WITH EATING SEVIKA OUTTTTT. The new episodes got me feeling some type of way. I NEED TO BE BRUIED BETWEEN HER THIGHS

men and minors dni

isha eats four servings of dinner, then passes out on jinx's shoulder, snoring and drooling at the dinner table.

you chuckle, shaking your head at the pair. "seems like you've been jinxed, jinx." you say.

she huffs. "she won't leave me alone."

"'s the same thing silco said when he first took you in." sevika mumbles across the table.

jinx rolls her eyes, but you can see a tiny smile pulling at her lips.

you gently nudge her foot under the table, pulling her wandering eyes to you. "tell me the stories about sev as a kid." you request. sevika groans beside you, and jinx grins.

"you never told her?!" jinx asks, pointing at sevika with glee. sevika buries her face in her hands, and you chuckle, kissing her forehead.

"it's fuckin' embarrassing--"

"she'd go up to piltover dressed in this frilly, ruffly dress, find the biggest mansion she could, then she'd put on the waterworks, tears and snot all over. when someone would come outside to see what's wrong she'd say she was lost. 'course the suckers would take her in and call the enforcers-- but by the time they got off the horn she'd be gone-- and so would as much of their silver as she could carry." jinx giggles.

you grin, looking over at your wife. "how old were you?"

"i dunno. i started when i was five but i kept at it until i was like twelve." she says with a shrug. you laugh.

"she tried to teach me and vi how to do it when we were kids, but i could never get the crying right, and vi refused to wear the dress." jinx chuckles.

you smile, kissing sevika's cheek and stacking the plates on the table. "jinx, i want the two of you to stay here until shit up top blows over." you say. sevika huffs beside you, but she doesn't say anything to revoke the offer. jinx pouts, her pink eyes fluttering back and forth as she tries to think of a way to worm her way out of the request. "where the fuck else are you gonna go?" you ask. "half of zaun is looking to turn you in for some cash, and there's a fuckin' team of enforcers gassing the streets to find you. c'mon. take it as my thank you for fixing sevika's new arm."

finally, jinx relents with a gusty sigh. "fine. we'll stay." she says. sevika grunts and takes the plates to the kitchen. when she's gone from sight, jinx whispers. "thank you."

you smile and shoot the kid a wink, walking to the living room to make up the pull out couch for her and isha. you'll make them both bathe tomorrow-- tonight, they need sleep.

isha doesn't stir as jinx settles her under the covers, and before you can even turn the lights off for her, jinx is passed out beside isha, one of her arms curled around the girl.

you chuckle, pulling the blankets over jinx's shoulders before heading to the bathroom.

sevika stumbles in as you're drawing up a bath.

"get in." you gesture to the tub. sevika raises an eyebrow at you.

"you're awfully bossy tonight." she says, slowly working to strip her clothes. you chuckle, holding her hand as she steps into the tub, then gently helping her arrange her new arm so it doesn't get in the water.

sevika sighs, her eyes falling shut and her shoulder slumping as the steam and bubbles envelop her.

"who were you all fighting?" you ask, dragging a stool over to the tub.

sevika chuckles. "vi's an enforcer now. jinx wanted to kill 'er. didn't work."

you snort and shake your head, starting to lather up a washcloth. "poor jinx." you say. sevika quirks an eyebrow at you and you shrug. "lost silco and found out her sister joined the force that killed her own parents within the span of a week. same week she became a mother, too." you say.

sevika snorts a bit.

"isha's a cute kid, eh?" she asks. you chuckle.

"you're a sucker. 's so cute." you tease, leaning forward and kissing her head as you scrub her back.

sevika sighs, leaning into your touch. "you take such good care'a me." she whispers.

you chuckle. "'s sorta my job isn't it? 's why you gave me my ring?"

sevika's responding grin is dazzling, her flesh arm reaching out of the tub to grab your own, fondling the ring she'd given you so many years ago. "guess so, yeah." she whispers, kissing your hand.

you take your time washing her off, massaging her shoulders and scrubbing her scalp, waiting until she's sunk down so far under the water's surface that only her nose is sticking out before pulling the plug and helping her get up.

sevika's sleepy while you dry her off and herd her toward your bedroom, and she doesn't question it when you push her down into bed before dressing her up in her jammies.

it's only when you spread her legs and kneel down in front of her that she starts to catch on, a smirk forming on her lips. "we're doing the whole baby-making thing wrong. think we're supposed to fuck before the kid shows up." sevika jokes.

you snort, kissing up her thigh toward her cunt. sevika spreads her legs farther, sighing as she relaxes back on her elbows. "think you can stay quiet?" you ask, your breath puffing on her cunt. sevika nods down at you with stars in her eyes.

"yeah. i'll bite the pillow." she says, dragging your pillow down the bed to rest beside her.

you smirk, reaching up to pinch her chin and drag her down for a quick kiss, before pushing her down to lay on the bed and burying your face between her thick, powerful thighs.

sevika sighs, pulling the pillow up over her mouth as you start licking long stripes up her cunt, groaning at the taste of her.

there's nothing quite like taking sevika apart like this. she's so fucking strong, her thighs are so powerful-- she could crush you in an instant if she wanted to.

but she doesn't. instead, she lets herself melt into the mattress, giving herself over to you completely. it's a huge show of vulnerability and trust, and it turns you on immensely.

you suck her clit into your mouth and sevika squeaks, her thighs twitching in pleasure. you chuckle against her, sinking your nails into her hips to pull her closer to you. fuck, you could die happy right here, drowning between her legs as she muffles her groans into your pillow.

"you take such good care of everybody, sev." you pull away to whisper, kissing her cunt as you speak. "you gonna lemme take care of you now?" you ask. sevika nods, reaching down with her flesh arm to grab your hand. you chuckle, intertwining your fingers with hers. "fuck. i love you so fuckin' much baby. could die happy between your legs." you sigh before ducking back down and shoving your tongue inside her.

sevika's back arches off the bed, one of her legs hooking around your shoulder to pull you closer to her. you're sloppy and loud as you eat, sucking and slurping on her like she's a ripe peach. you pray to every god you know that jinx and isha are still sleeping, because with the way you're groaning and moaning into her cunt, you're certain you can be heard through your flimsy bedroom door.

sevika's whole body tenses up, her nails dig into the back of your hand, and she cums with a muffled "love you!"

you groan as you lick up her cum, happy to keep eating to your heart's content. sevika has different plans though, and she squeaks as she shoves your face away from her pussy.

you crawl up onto bed beside her, smiling at her as she tries to catch her breath. sevika blushes a little at the sight of you. "you're covered in my cum." she whispers.

"aren't i lucky?" you ask.

sevika snorts, then pulls you in for a kiss. "not as lucky as me." she says against your lips. you grin.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@lavandasz

[captn-trex]

a half-hearted escape

Hunter x F!Reader

word count: 3.4k

description: in the heat of the moment, you have a bad idea that would help you evade capture, but you never expected the accidental half-confession it draws from Hunter

warnings: kissing to escape capture trope, swearing, miscommunication kinda? steamy kissing but nothing crazy just some wandering hands, kinda cheesy perhaps

a/n: shamelessly inspired by that new girl season 2 episode (you'll see). this is just a short and sweet one :) because the Fives one I'm writing rn is taking the life out of me lmao. tbh I can't believe this is only my second Hunter fic, I am a Hunter girlie after all. the title makes sense in my heart okay

masterlist | join my taglist

You were running, except there was nowhere else to run to anymore. It was a dead end.

“Fuck” Hunter breathed the word out heavily as he rested his back against the wall in the thin alley, looking this way and that, “What do we do?”

“You give the orders around here, you tell me” you replied in an exasperated huff, earning an unimpressed look.

“Well I'm taking suggestions” he growled, his voice low and irritated as he peered around the corner.

You glanced around the alley. There was really nothing to hide you, only some rubbish scattered about the ground, but leaving would guarantee your capture at this point. A thought entered your head and you let out a short whine at having even let it find it's way in.

“What? You have something?” Hunter asked, turning to find the reason for your sudden vocalisation.

“I have a really bad idea” you said, giving him an almost pained look.

“Well anything is better than nothing” he argued, which only made you laugh humourlessly.

“You're going to take that back in a minute” you told him, and he turned to you fully so you could see his frown.

“What are you—?”

“No time” you said in a panic, noting the patrol of stormtroopers about to pass by, “pick me up”

“What?” he hissed, his expression contorting into one of utter confusion.

“Just do it, quickly” you rolled your eyes and stepped up to him, hoping he'd follow your instruction. He hesitated for a moment, but hooked his hands under your thighs and you jumped into his hold.

“Right, now push me against the wall” you instructed.

“You've got to be kid—”

“Hunter” you snapped at him, “they're coming”

He groaned out of frustration, but obliged, stepping forwards and trapping your body between his and the wall.

“You happy now?” Hunter asked with a scowl, his breath hot as it fanned across your face.

“Ecstatic” you bit back, looking over his shoulder at the incoming stormtroopers. They were looking into every side street that they passed, their blasters held up as they inspected.

You reached up and slipped off Hunter's bandana, ruffling his hair so that it hung over his face. He let out a short grunt and fluttered his eyes closed as you did so.

“Was that really necessary?” he grumbled.

“Shut up” you replied, then wrapped your arms around his neck, hiding your own face as well.

You could hear the chatter of the stormtroopers as they passed by. They seemed not to want to disturb you, and you breathed out a relieved sigh. You continued to listen out for them, but it was hard not to become distracted by the intensity of Hunter's gaze as he opened his eyes and stared directly into yours from only a few inches away.

It struck you that you felt surprisingly comfortable in his arms, as if it were entirely normal to be in this situation.

“I can't believe this” he mumbled out, with a small shake of his head and a little humour in his voice.

“I did say it was a really bad idea” you reminded him, one side if your mouth curling into a small smirk.

Hunter scoffed, “I'm never trusting any of your ideas ever again”

You chuckled breathily, your head dropping forwards so that your forehead gently rested against his. He adjusted his hold on you, his hands gripping the top of your thighs, and you wrapped your legs around his waist to ease the load.

“You—”

“If you say I'm heavy, I swear to the maker I will punch you” you interjected. It wasn't uncommon that Hunter would taunt you, so you were only trying to pre-empt his teasing.

Hunter chuckled, a deep rumble that you could feel with him pressed up against you. “I was actually going to say that you smell good” he corrected in a murmur.

Oh. That certainly wasn't what you were expecting.

“Uh, thanks. I guess” you spoke awkwardly, your eyes flicking away from his.

Despite your uneasy reaction, you actually felt a sense of pride in the comment. Hunter had attuned senses, you knew that, so for him to say such a thing felt more meaningful to you than if anyone else had said the same thing. A strange feeling tugged at you chest and you could feel your face flush at the observation that felt oddly personal.

“Do you think they've passed us?” Hunter asked, and it brought you back to why you were in this situation to begin with.

“Right, uh…” you lifted your head and peered outside of the alley, not seeing any stormtroopers passing by, “Seems like it”

Hunter was about to let you down when you saw a flash of white plastoid come into view.

“Wait” you gripped him tighter, “fuck, they're coming this way”

Hunter huffed, “Well what do we do now?”

Your mind scrambled for something, anything to let you escape capture, and you were surprised by how quickly it brought forth your next bad idea.

“Kiss me”

“Wh—?”

“Just do it. It'll make them uncomfortable”

“Yeah, they won't be the only ones”

You rolled your eyes, “Hunter please, just get on with it”

“No”

“No?”

“No. I'm not doing it”

You cast a glance over his shoulder again and the stormtroopers were practically entering the alley.

“Hunter they're right on top of us, they'll know we're pretending”

“No they won't” He replied firmly, pressing his forehead into yours to hide your faces.

“Hunter just do it, you don't have to make it convincing even”

Hunter chuckled harshly at that, “That's not the problem. I'm just not doing it”

“Hunter, just kiss—”

“No. Not like this”

That gave you pause. The situation at hand completely slipped your mind.

“What?” your voice was small, nowhere near the amount of power it usually had behind it.

It was obvious that Hunter had said something he shouldn't have. His eyes were wide and his mouth hanging open, stuttering, looking for the words to explain himself. He tilted his head to look towards the end of the alley and there were stormtroopers looking in at the two of you. He turned back to you and the look of shock was still present on your face, trying to process what his earlier words truly meant.

“Oh, fuck it”

He latched his lips with yours, gripping the flesh of your thighs even tighter. He kissed you with fervour, and you couldn't tell how much of it was to make the stormtroopers leave you be. He pressed you into the wall further as his mouth worked against yours, lips moulding together in a way that could be interpreted as passionate, if you could sort out in your mind what was real and what wasn't. If he was doing this just to put on a show, you wanted to know what he’d do behind closed doors.

Wait, what?

Since when did you think such things about Hunter?

Any rationality in your thoughts left you when his hand slid up your body and he tugged you even closer, gripping your hip tightly. The other hand wound its way up to your neck, and he traced his thumb across your jawline, drawing a shudder from you.

By now, you were past caring if the kiss was just for show, you were enjoying it too much to pretend anymore. You tugged at the hair at the base of Hunter's scalp, pulling a deep groan from him that allowed you to deepen the kiss, slipping your tongue between his lips. The experience of exploring each other's mouths was intoxicating, the heady feeling somewhat close to that of being under the influence of spice. You couldn't get enough.

By the time you both pulled away, you had to take a moment to come back to your body, your breath falling from you in short pants. You blinked a few times, the haze lifting slowly, and found his grey eyes searching yours, his own breath just as heavy. You were passing air between you, still close enough that you could tilt your head and kiss him again. You almost did, before you remembered exactly why he had even kissed you to begin with.

You tilted your head to the side, resting it against Hunter's as you surveyed the situation.

“I think—” your breath was still heavy, and you had to pause to gather enough to speak, “I think they're gone”

The look on Hunter's face when you turned back to him was positively hurt, his brows drawn together as his lips turned downwards. You wished you could take back your words instantly, though you didn't know exactly what was going on. You'd need more time to figure that out.

Hunter dropped you to the floor, somewhat unceremoniously, and you braced yourself on the wall to stop from falling over. He went to the edge of the alley, glancing around the street that you had escaped from.

“You're right” he coughed out, “they're gone”

The tone of his voice tugged harshly at your heart. He was clearly trying to keep himself together for the sake of the mission, but it was undeniable by the quiver in his voice that he wasn't feeling completely sure of himself.

“Hunter” you called in a soft voice.

“What” he snapped back, his eyes finding yours.

You didn't know why he was suddenly acting like this, though you didn't know how else he was supposed to act after what just transpired. You didn't know how to act yourself.

“Nothing” You replied, shame burning at your cheeks as you looked down, “lead the way”

The journey back to the Marauder was excruciating. Neither of you spoke up, no matter how hard you tried to whip something up in your brain. There was nothing you could find to say that would fix the rift that had so clearly been created between you.

Even after you both climbed the steps of the ship, greetings being thrown at you by the other squad members, Hunter wouldn't look at you.

“Everything went smoothly I take it?” Tech asked, noting how both of you seemed to be unharmed.

The picture in front of Echo was entirely different to what Tech was seeing, apparently. He raised a brow at you when Hunter didn't reply, storming into the cockpit.

“Mhm, more or less” you answered the spectacled clone, then ducked away from Echo's watchful gaze, striding towards the bunks at the back of the ship.

You sat down on your bunk, running your hands through your hair, and that's when you realised you were still gripping tightly onto Hunter’s bandana.

“Kriff” you swore under your breath, standing once more and crossing the short distance to the bunk that belonged to owner of the scrap of fabric. You weren't going to give it back to him yourself, definitely not now.

You placed the red material down onto his pillow, taking a moment to run your thumb across the skull insignia before pulling away.

“Why do you have that?”

You jumped at the voice just behind you, and scowled before you turned around, knowing exactly how this conversation was going to go. Echo was impossible to lie to. He just somehow knew when you were lying, and you hated it.

“Hunter dropped it” you lied poorly, turning your face from the scrutinising honey eyes of your squadmate.

“He… dropped it?” Echo spoke suspiciously, clearly not believing a single word.

“Yep” you replied, dropping down onto your bunk again.

“So it just… fell off his head?” he asked.

You looked up to see his disbelieving look, a scoff naturally passing your lips.

“I'm not in the mood for this right now” you grumbled, which only made Echo's lips curve into a smirk, “and wipe that look off of your face”

“What look?” Echo questioned, his smirk only widening.

You rolled your eyes and laid down on your bunk, turning away from the infuriating clone. You heard him chuckle before the scuff of his boots against the floor signified his leaving, and you let out a long breath.

Your thoughts all muddled together with uncertainty. You hoped to bridge the gap between you and Hunter, but what if you couldn't? What if your stupid idea had done something irreparable?

The next few days were tense.

Everyone knew something had occurred between you and the Sergeant, but neither one of you would speak about it to the others, much less to each other.

It was agony. You found yourself sitting at the bar in Cid's parlour, watching him sulk across the room. You wanted to reach out, extend the olive branch, but you had no idea what to even say.

Sorry for holding you against your will and making you kiss me? Or I'm sorry I made you believe I actually had feelings for you?

You didn't know which was the correct sentiment, and you had been driving yourself mad trying to decipher his slip up from before you kissed. The words bounced around your brain, taunting you. Not like this. What did it mean?

Even more distressingly, it wasn't even the case that you had pretended to have feeling for him, not anymore at least.

You had always found Hunter attractive, how could you not after all, but this was uncharted territory. You never expected to actually feel anything for him in this sort of way. A sense of closeness, yes. A deep respect, definitely. But this — this ache in your chest as you looked upon his displeased expression — was something entirely new. It made you feel sick.

“Hey hot shot! Bandana! Get in here” the grating call came from Cid’s office, and you ground your teeth at the irritating nickname.

You slipped from your seat at the bar, glancing over in Hunter's direction. He stayed seated, twirling his vibroblade between his fingers and watching you walk across the room. Your gaze fell to his fingers flipping the knife about, and you had to pull your eyes away when your mind brought forth how enticing you found it.

“What is it?” you spoke harshly as you entered the office, little patience for the Trandoshan sat behind the desk.

“That's no way to talk to your employer” Cid chided as she stood from her seat, making her way around the desk to stand in front of you. You had to look down to meet her eyes, and it gave you a small bit of satisfaction. At least you could say you looked down on her, even if she was a pain in your ass.

“What is this about?” a gruff voice spoke up, and you eyes followed Hunter as he walked into the room and stood beside you at the desk.

Cid rolled her eyes, “You two are a right pair” she muttered as she walked towards the door, “I don't know what your problem is, but you two need to figure it out, because your foul attitudes are bringing down the mood around here”

You glanced up at Hunter, noting his grinding jaw and narrowed eyes.

“I'd rather n—”

“It wasn't a request, bandana” Cid held her hand up to stop him and stepped out of her office, “Now, please, get over yourselves and figure this out. Just don't do anything on my desk and you'll still be employed after this is over”

“After wha—?”

You question was answered when Cid pressed a button on the control panel and closed the door. You heard the lock engage, and cringed at the implication. You were locked in here with Hunter. The one person you were both avoiding and actively seeking attention from.

Hunter grumbled and strode over to the door, repeatedly prodding at the open button on the panel, with nothing to show for it.

You sighed, “There's no point”

Hunter turned to look at you, leaning his back against the door and crossing his arms across his chest. He looked at you down his nose, as if in disgust, and you couldn't help but feel small.

“We should probably talk… right?” you offered, and he grunted in reply.

“I'm listening”

You had been banking on him having something to say, but that was foolish of you. Of course he wasn't going to make it easy. Unfortunately, you didn't have anything to say either, so you just stood watching each other for a moment.

“Um, I—” you gulped, “I'm sorry?”

Hunter laughed, an unamused sound that made your stomach turn.

“What exactly are you sorry for?” he raised his eyebrows at you expectantly.

“Well I, uh…” your shoulders sagged, your posture defeated, “I don't know”

“Hm” he tilted his head a little as he looked down at you, “then I suppose your apology isn't accepted”

You huffed, giving him a frown, “come on man, give me something to work with here”

“What's that supposed to mean?” he asked, his face adorning it's own frown.

“What does ‘not like this’ mean?” you rebutted, your tone holding an exasperation.

Hunter pressed his mouth into a hard line as he looked away from you, “that's none of your business”

“I think its exactly my business actually,” you moved forwards, stepping into his space, “and I want to know”

He gave you a dubious look, his voice low, “why?”

“Because,” you rolled your eyes, “believe it or not, it matters what you think of me”

Hunter went to speak, then paused, a deep breath escaping him, “I think you know what it means”

You pressed your lips together, irritated that he couldn't just come out and say it, “Then… why won't you talk to me?”

“Because there's nothing to say” he looked away, and you could see his cheeks tinge pink, “can we just forget that it happened and move on?”

His obvious embarrassment almost made you laugh.

“And what if I don't want to?”

That got his attention.

“What?” he asked, his voice careful, measured, making sure he understood you.

“I don't want to forget that it happened” you reiterated.

“Why?”

You shook your head slightly. When was this man going to get the memo. A smile pulled at your lips and you stepped right in front of him.

“Because, Hunter…” your smile turned to a smirk, “maybe I want it to happen again”

Hunter's eyebrows raised as he looked down at you, and he pushed off of the door, uncrossing his arms and finally taking down his physical and mental barriers.

“You do?”

“Mhm” you replied in a lilting hum.

He didn't need to be told twice.

Hunter grabbed you by the hips, pulling your body flush against his, and his lips found yours shortly thereafter. He kissed you with a passion to rival that of the first one, but this time you knew it was real, that he really meant it. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, his change in attitude since your confession amusing you.

“Something funny?” he mumbled against you, not giving you a chance to answer before his lips were on yours again, pushing you backwards so your body hit the desk.

“Just you” you replied, a chuckle bubbling up and out of you as he huffed.

His lips trailed kisses along your jaw as he leaned down, his hands hooking underneath your thighs and lifting you easily to sit atop the desk. A small squeak left your lips at the unexpected action, and you could feel Hunter smirk against your neck as he parted your legs further and came to stand in between them. His nose brushed against a sensitive spot just behind your ear, and a shiver ran up your spine, a small gasp escaping your lips.

“Fuck, you smell so good” he mumbled between kisses to your collarbone, and the breathless tone and sentiment sent an unexpected thrill through you. You gently scraped your fingernails down the back of his neck, earning a groan in return, and he brought his lips back up to yours in a hurry.

You couldn’t get enough, and you would’ve taken more, had you not been so rudely interrupted.

“I said not to do anything on my desk!”

taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565

[coraniaid]

I have a confession to make: I don’t think I like Selfless very much.

It certainly feels as though I should like it.  Doesn’t everyone?  It’s one of a handful of Season 7 episodes which both supporters of and detractors of that season seem to always hold up as great.  This episode makes deliberate callbacks and references to episodes from years earlier in the show (specifically, to Season 2’s Becoming and Season 3’s Consequences), which is the sort of thing I like.  I’m on record as thinking the first third of this season was good – before Caleb and the Potentials and Spike's hypnotic trigger and the long drawn out question of whether Giles might really be dead and all the sad attempts to make the First seem more intimidating than any previous Big Bad – and, well, this is an episode from that part of the season and it doesn’t have any of that stuff. And, of course, I like Anya as a character a lot: she's probably one of of my top five characters on the show.

And yet, well.  I don’t like it. 

I don't hate it, either. I think it’s … fine.  Probably one of the better episodes of the season, yes, but if I were to rank all 144 episodes of the show I don’t think it would trouble my top fifty.

Why not?  Let me try to explain:

“Sjornjost, 880”. 

Most fans of the show seem to be particularly fond of flashback episodes.  Becoming Part 1; Fool For Love; even the detestable Lies My Parents Told Me are all consistently popular episodes.   And I get it.  It’s fun to see the characters dress up and behave in ways they’d never normally act.  But … well, the thing is, this show does not have the budget – and the writers do not have the historical understanding – to actually convincingly write flashbacks to ninth century Scandinavia. (They didn't even have the time to have the characters practice speaking proper Swedish, instead mostly preferring to have them speak "hilarious" gibberish. Although why they are even trying to speak modern Swedish a thousand years in the past in the first place is, admittedly, something of a mystery. Does Drew Goddard think King Alfred spoke Modern English?)  So what they write instead is .. well, generic European fantasy village. The sort of place that Gabrielle might wander through in a particularly underwhelming episode of Xena: Warrior Princess on her way to somewhere more convincing.

Not only does the setting feel bland and generic, all the nonsense with Aud and Olaf's domestic squabbles is just .... well, it's deeply unserious. Deliberately so, of course, but it's still irritating to sit through. I'm sure some people find Olaf's description of Aud as being "like a Baltic woman from a slightly more arid region" hilarious, but I am not one of them. This doesn't feel like a look at Anya's past so much as it feels like a flashback to that week Anya took up LARPing and joined the SCA. I’m just left thinking … well, what is the point of all this? Beyond doubling down on the idea that Anya is a joke? It's silly, is the thing. Silly in a way that none of the other flashback episodes are. And sure, the show has often been silly before: the Knights of Byzantium weren't particularly credible either, chasing after an RV on horseback in full plate. I didn't like them either though, to be fair.

“Perhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river.” 

One of the things a lot of people like about this episode -- and the flashbacks in particular -- is the ‘reveal’ that Anya’s “strangely literal” behaviour – the way she’s acted more or less consistently since her re-introduction to the show in Season 4 – is not, in fact, something that can be explained by her being “newly human” but is in fact something that’s always been true of her.  And, okay, yes, let’s make the existing autism-coding more explicit, sure, only … Well, look, while we’re embracing being literal: Anya is literally not real.  We cannot “find out” anything about her that her original writers didn’t plan (and it seems pretty clear that this is not something the show has been sitting on for years).  It’s a retcon; the Season 7 writers have changed their minds about how Anya’s backstory works. 

Which I don’t have a problem with as such – whether it’s Drusilla having sired Spike; Spike being in love with Buffy; the Watchers Council existing; or even Angel being a vampire with a soul, the show’s lore has always been built on retcons and changes of direction like this.  That's fine. The problem I do have is that … unlike those changes, I don’t see what this retcon actually adds to Anya's story, beyond being something people can point to and go “see, Anya’s always been like this!”.  It doesn’t advance the plot or provide any interesting new context to Anya as a person.  (If I’m being cynical, it’s just an excuse for the writers to keep writing Aud the way they’d have written Anya and not bother to give her any obviously different personality.)

“Your logic is insane and happenstance, like that of a troll”. 

Except, of course, that they do give Aud the personality trait of … liking bunny rabbits.  The way Anya doesn’t, see?  This feels like an example of how it’s often better not to explain the joke: the fact that Anya, as a thousand year old vengeance demon, was afraid of something as innocuous as bunnies was already funny.  It didn’t need to be explained by some traumatic event in her pre-demon life.  Similarly, the use of the phrase “insane troll logic” from Season 5’s Triangle really didn’t need the call forward it gets here.  We can surely aspire to a higher level of writing than that awful Han Solo movie.   It just feels like the writers are pandering to long-term fans by giving them bits of “continuity” that don’t mean anything to the characters and have no bearing on the plot.

“Do you remember giving me Willow’s message?” 

By far the worst example of this sort of fan-pleasing fake continuity doesn’t appear in the flashbacks,  Selfless marks the first – and only – time after Season 2’s Becoming that the writers will acknowledge Xander’s Lie, the fact that Xander chose not to warn Buffy that Willow was attempting to restore Angel's soul but instead told her Willow wanted her to "kick his ass". And yes, Xander’s Lie should have been acknowledged at some point – in Season 3’s Dead Man’s Party, perhaps, when Xander chides Buffy for running away from home because of “boy troubles”.  Or in Season 3’s Faith, Hope & Trick, when Buffy admitted to Giles and Willow that Angel had his soul back when she sent him to hell.  Or in Season 3's Revelations, when the gang confront Buffy over the fact that Angel is back, and are outraged that she is trying to protect him from them all. Or even in Season 3’s Amends, when Xander finally admits to Buffy that he hasn’t been “the mostest best friend to you when it comes to the whole Angel thing”.  Some time during Season 3, in other words. But by Season 7?  That ship had long sailed by then.  Better by far, surely, to assume either that it was never a big deal at all or that Buffy, Willow and Xander talked things through off-screen at some point. 

Instead, the episode brings up the Lie here, in a way that makes it clear Buffy herself never learned the truth, that it’s poisoned her entire relationship with Willow over the last five years (she thinks Willow gave Angel his soul and deliberately didn’t even tell her she was going to do it!) and then … well, that’s it.  We never address the Lie again, and Buffy goes on believing the worst of her best friend for the rest of the show.  It’s as if the writers have just nudged us in the ribs, grinned, said “hey, isn’t it weird we never brought this up again?” and then … gone back to not bringing it up.  Again, what is the point of this? Other than making any attempt to headcanon that Buffy and her friends might actually sometimes sit down and talk to each other like actual friends do more difficult, of course. I like continuity, but winking and mugging to the camera about things that happened years ago and won't ever be satisfactorily resolved is not the way to go.

“There’s only me.  I am the law.” 

All of the above is … well, it’s arguably kind of pedantic, I suppose.  Just me wishing the show had a bigger budget and the writers cared more about real continuity (and about the social norms and customs of Scandinavia in the Early Middle Ages, apparently).  A more substantial problem I have with this episode – and something that I think foreshadows a lot of the problems that Season 7 will have going forward – is Buffy’s big speech as quoted above. It's a well-written speech and SMG delivers it well. It's something that shows up in gif sets on here all the time. And yes, it’s fun to compare and contrast it with Faith’s speech in Consequences.  Yes, there’s yet another slightly gratuitous continuity nod when Buffy denies the existence of any “mystical guidebook” (presumably she never did get to read the Slayer’s Handbook that Giles kept from her).  

That being said… well, one thing people who like this episode can’t seem to agree on is whether or not we’re meant to think that Buffy is actually in the right here., or if what she's saying makes sense.  The episode is shot and staged as if she is – and we don’t see any sign that Buffy learns to fundamentally question her approach when it later comes to being “General Buffy” and taking charge of the Potentials.  But she very, very obviously is in the wrong – her approach doesn’t help, her methods wouldn’t have worked anyway – and it’s troubling that the episode doesn’t quite seem to realize it. 

It's true that there’s a kinder reading of the show where this is all deliberate, and – like Buffy’s misguided choice to emotionally distance herself from the Potentials and try to train them as a quasi-military force rather than as the group of scared and powerless teenage girls they actually are – is meant to be building to a big reversal in Chosen when Buffy instead chooses to share her power with others.  I … don’t think I’m persuaded that this kinder reading is an accurate description of what’s actually happening though.  This feels more like a Dead Man’s Party situation: the pieces of the episode just don’t quite fit together in the way the writer wants you to think that they do.  Again, maybe I’m being uncharitable, but if Buffy is meant to be wrong here – and if the unconscious echoing of Faith is deliberate – it’s strange to me that the episode doesn’t lean into that more, and that we don’t see any sign Buffy has learned from her mistake this episode later on in the season.  

“The life and soul of a vengeance demon.”

Finally, I think the actual resolution of the episode: in which Anya goes back to being a human at the cost of the life of a minor recurring character who most of the audience don’t care about and who (in, admittedly, classic Buffy fashion) nobody will ever mention again after this episode, is … pretty underwhelming.  Anya only got to be a vengeance demon for eleven episodes, and this is all the show could do with that before resetting things to the status quo?  Seriously?  This too feels like a symptom of a larger problem I have with this season: a sense that the writers are desperately (over)correcting for the perceived flaws of Season 6 by undoing or ignoring as much of that season as they possibly can.  

It’s also just another case of the writers refusing to take Anya seriously as a character.  The show will keep coming back to the question of whether Angel and Spike deserve to be forgiven for the evil they did as soulless vampires.  Hell, Angel gets a whole five-season spin-off show from that question.  But the various demonic acts Anya did – for hundreds of years longer than Angel and Spike combined – just don’t seem to matter.  They’re just funny stories Anya tells people sometimes.  (Maybe they didn’t even happen.  Certainly The Wish implies that destroying Anya’s power center will undo “all of the wishes she’s granted”, but that doesn’t seem to be something the show ever remembers or sticks to later.)  Anya choosing to become a demon again should have had far more weight than the writers allowed it to have.  It should, frankly, be the sort of decision she doesn’t get to take back.  Anya actually staying as a vengeance demon gives the ending of Hells Bells the emotional weight it deserves to have.

And the pay-off for Anya becoming human again is ... she gets to rejoin the gang and maybe get back together with Xander, and then she dies. Is that really worth it? I mean, we could surely at least try to play up the parallels with Willow and Faith a little bit more, no? Why are we supposed to take Willow and Faith's quests for redemption seriously but shrug off the fact Anya reacted to having her heartbroken by signing up to kill people and torture people again? Does that not tell us something about human Anya that might perhaps be worth taking seriously?

Anyway, yeah.  Still miles better than Him or Bring on the Night or Get It Done though, obviously. But as good as the best of Season 7? No, I don't think so.

[cheesy09]

[CN] MLQC 7th Anniversary - Kiro's Route (Final Part)

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for content that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

[Note: This was translated with the help of Google Translate :>]

Prev: Part 4

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[Section 1]

As we wander around the city, we capture more and more video footage.

I can't help but look forward to seeing what kind of "results" Kiro will turn these images into.

At noon, Kiro receives a call from Savin asking him to go to the company and asks me to go to Huapu Street for him to pick up a sample of the new album.

Unexpectedly, when I get back home, the dim room is lit up with tiny lights. The walls and furniture, at some point, were covered in tiny star-shaped lights.

Anticipating something in my heart, I hold my breath and slowly walk up the stairs, following the trail of light.

At the end of the trail, a big heart hangs on the door.

MC: ...Kiro?

Calling his name, I push open the door to the terrace—

The orange-yellow lights bathe the terrace in a gentle warm glow, yet I find no sign of him. In the center of the terrace, a camera is placed on a tripod, with a bear-shaped writing tablet next to it.

MC: “Mission: Make a heart shape with your hands in five different ways to the camera to summon the real Mr. Bear.”

I laugh and make a big heart to the camera.

With each action I complete, my anticipation to see him grows ever stronger.

After making the last heart gesture, the surroundings suddenly light up.

Fountain fireworks gush out from all corners, and a familiar song sounds from behind me.

I turn around — and since I don't know when, I find that touch of gold standing not too far from me. His gentle singing echoes throughout the terrace and spreads into the boundless night sky.

Holding the microphone, Kiro slowly approaches me step by step, accompanied by the melody.

As the final note sounds, he steps in front of me.

Kiro: Welcome, MC, to the premier of Kiro-Miss Chips' first ever variety show.

Breathing in the faint scent of lemon, I smile and take a step forward to embrace him.

MC: Someone lied about certain information and went and prepared a surprise in secret. So I've caught him now~

Kiro: That's because I know how much Miss Chips loves surprises. If I didn't do this...

Kiro: How would I be able to see you smiling so happily?

He tightens his arms around me and brushes his chin against my head.

Kiro: So join me, and continue unveiling these surprises little by little.

-

With a blanket shielding us from the cold night air, we snuggle together in a warm corner of the sofa.

The screen lights up, and accompanied by lively music, a familiar bouquet of flowers pops in.

Looking at the fresh petals, a faint floral fragrance seems to follow the memory and linger at the tip of my nose.

My eyes on the screen sparkle, overcome with longing and joy. His frank feelings cause my ears to burn, and I shyly shrink closer to him.

Turns out that this is how I look at Kiro.

A light laugh comes to my ear, and our clasped hands tighten again.

Together, our figures walk through the streets and alleys. The sun chases behind me, fallen leaves float across the sky, and in this instant, the ordinary everyday moments in life are all coated with brilliant light.

Turns out that even simple life can be so joyful. There is no need for over-the-top romance. Just us holding hands and following each other's shadows is dazzling enough.

Kiro: You're smiling so happily beside me, Miss Chips~

MC: You too, your eyes have almost narrowed into slits!

Kiro: Not just that. I've also developed quite a few abdominal muscles the past few days~

We continue to chat in front of these colourful images, as though we will never run out of things to talk about. Even as the last scene freezes on our smiling faces, I still feel a bit unsatisfied.

He too seems to still be immersed in the show. After a while, he gently squeezes our intertwined fingers.

Kiro: Is the guest satisfied with this episode?

MC: Immensely! It feels like I've gone through these days all over again.

MC: The only problem is that I can't hit "next" for the show we filmed. I want to watch the next episode right now.

Kiro: This program will always be there, and it will always record our happiness.

Kiro: But, our premiere ceremony isn't over yet. So—

Kiro: Close your eyes.

His gentle words are like a feather, making me unconsciously close my eyes.

As my vision falls into darkness, my other senses seem to heighten.

I can feel him getting closer. His warm breath brushes across the top of my head, and I can feel his body heat quietly transfer over to me.

Something gently presses onto my hair. Then, his fingers slowly comb through the ends of my locks, and after a moment, a soft laugh comes from above my head.

Kiro: It really fits... Open your eyes.

Opening my eyes, I once again find myself arrested by that gaze that is clearer than a starry night. He takes me by the hand and walks me to the floor-length mirror beside him.

In the bright frame of the mirror, a crown shining with tiny rays of light rests on the top of my head, like a star that has fallen into the mortal world.

At the crown's centre is a bright gold star, shining dazzlingly under the light.

He gently places his hands on my shoulder and takes in my appearance in the mirror. Those eyes, brighter than diamonds, are filled with tenderness, as though they are gazing at an extremely precious treasure.

Kiro: Now it's award ceremony time.

Kiro: Happy seventh anniversary, my Miss Chips. Congratulations on winning the "Best Female Guest" award in this variety show.

MC: Wow! There's an award ceremony?

Kiro: Of course. Because you're always making me discover things... that are important and precious.

Kiro: So this award is for the ever indispensable you.

Kiro: MC, you will always be my one-of-a-kind treasure.

As soon as he finishes speaking, fireworks shoot up into the sky amidst the darkness, and then rush towards the earth, long tails trailing behind them like shooting stars.

Under the bright night sky, his eyebrows curve.

Kiro: I realised while I was editing the video; I missed so much of the cuteness that MC would accidentally reveal.

Kiro: This feeling is quite... surprising. It's like I'm getting to know you all over again.

Kiro: I'm really happy.

Kiro: Turns out that I don't know everything about you, that... there are still so many things about my treasure that sparkle.

MC: Perhaps it’s because we are always changing? The me of yesterday is different from the me of today—

MC: The you of tomorrow will surely have something more that I don't know about than the you of today.

Even though we have long grown accustomed to being together, we keep thinking we know everything about each other.

But there are still countless small changes filling every inch of life. They constantly fit together, blending into each other to form a new life.

Kiro: When I was little, I was always eager to change, to become someone who could protect you.

Kiro: But then, I got a little scared. I didn’t know what kind of change was right, or good.

He looks at me, as if looking at his former self through my eyes.

Kiro: But I'm no longer as worried. Instead... I look forward to it.

Kiro: Because you love me. Your love has made me a very, very good person.

Kiro: I'm able to accept myself more and more, love this world, and love you who is always loving me.

Kiro: This must be the most fortunate thing... The biggest miracle.

I hold his face in my hands as I try to imprint his gaze at this moment onto my heart.

MC: It wasn't just me who "triggered" this miracle. There was also someone beside me giving me strength.

MC: He made me realise that being loved is such a happy thing.

Grand fireworks bloom in the sky, and within his gaze as well. I put my arms around his shoulders and slowly move closer.

MC: My award ceremony is over. Now it’s time to “award” our great producer Kiro.

In his gentle and moist gaze, our warm breaths grow closer and closer. I slowly close my eyes and mobilise all of my senses to affirm this fiery heart.

Time flies, but the initial exhilaration and feelings remain unchanged. This must be the most fortunate thing in the world.

The glow of the fireworks fills the entire night sky, illuminating the falling snowflakes, shrouding this city of love and romance in a winter dream.

Kiro: MC, I will definitely be your "Best Actor" forever.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[Section 2]

For this part, Producers had to write postcards to their respective love interests last year to which their love interests would respond to this year.

Hence this part begins with Kiro reading MC's postcard.

Kiro stares at the piece of paper on which I have written my sincere words, and seems to be locked in a trance.

Just as I am nervously waiting to see what he will say, those deep blue eyes suddenly look up, and the fiery light flashing within them makes my ears burn.

MC: [blushing] ...What is it?

Kiro: Nothing, I just suddenly want to...

His following words melt at the corner of my mouth, and his gentle breath is akin to a dragonfly skimming the surface of the water, leaving a slight lingering warmth.

His hot and dry fingertips gently touch the side of my face. I place my palm against his hand, feeling the temperature there resemble a burning heart.

Kiro: While I do feel that I'm already incredibly happy, every time I receive these things that convey your longing for me...

Kiro: I realise that I can be even happier than I already am.

MC: Actually, while I was writing that, I was also thinking that it would be great if this year could pass quickly so that this letter could see you sooner.

MC: But I also thought that if this year went by slowly, we'd be able to enjoy more time together.

Kiro: It's good to slow down a bit. Even though you and I were both busy this year... I enjoyed every minute and second we spent together 120%.

Kiro: The happy time we spent together can be rated at least 99 points!

MC: That's right, but I think I can make up for the remaining point after I read your letter to me.

When I wrote the first word, I thought of you again.

This feeling has become more and more frequent, and I often don't even notice it. But when I find myself humming unconsciously, or smiling, I realize that it's Miss Chips that's coming from my heart!

No wonder I feel happier every year.

I miss you in the sun, in the rain, and in the snow. This yearning will run through winter, spring, summer, and autumn, and come to your side!

And now - its owner wants a big hug.

From: Kiro

-

As I finish reading the last sentence, I turn around and throw myself into the arms that have been waiting for me.

MC: I take back what I said before, this letter is not to add the remaining point to 99. This should be a 100+1 points.

The hands hugging my back tighten slightly, as if to express all the thoughts lingering between the lines.

I have felt that heart of his more than once. It is filled with an ardent and unconcealed love that irrigates my own heart over and over again.

He buries his face in my hair, his voice tender and a bit hoarse.

Kiro: I might be too accustomed to the feeling of having MC by my side. Time seems to slow down a lot when we're not together.

Kiro: I'll always be thinking about what you're doing now and whether you're thinking about me too.

Kiro: Just like now, I miss you more than I did last year when I wrote this postcard.

His unconcealed love flows along with his body temperature, wrapping me in a soft and sweet cloud, and even causing my heart to palpitate a bit.

MC: Then think about me more~

MC: While I do think we need to be moderate in everything we do, I don’t think “missing me” falls into that category!

MC: I never limit myself when I think about you.

Hearing what I said, he buries his head close to my ear and laughs, causing our chests, which are pressed together, to vibrate.

Kiro: Okay~ But the love in my heart has been growing rapidly; growing faster and more abundantly than I imagined...

Kiro: As for what it will look like in the end, perhaps only when we walk together into the future, long after the fact, can we find out.

MC: It is free to grow into whatever shape it wants of course...

I raise my head within his embrace and tighten my arms around him.

MC: It will all be mine by then anyways!

Kiro: Of course, after all, it is because of you that this relationship has its place.

His eyes flicker slightly, and then he lowers his forehead, like some kind of expectation and promise.

Kiro: With you, my heart is always free.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[Section 3]

Kiro: ...Loveland City Hall?

Kiro mutters as he takes out a packaged envelope from the mailbox at the door. I lean over to take a peek and find a big love heart printed on the envelope.

Thinking of all the love that can be seen everywhere in the streets and alleys of the city recently, a guess emerges in my mind.

MC: Could it be a little easter egg for this event?

He too nods thoughtfully and tears open the envelope along the fold marks. But after we see what is inside, we are both left stunned—

There are actually four photos of us.

We are all smiles in the photos, captured and frozen by a camera from somewhere unknown.

Kiro: While I knew from the beginning that these cameras were set up at the event venue, I didn't expect the photos to be this good.

MC: You already have a good sense for the camera~ And since I'm close to someone who's good at it, that makes me good as well~

Kiro: I think that MC looks beautiful from every angle.

In the coloured photos, our smiles carry happy memories, as though they are about to jump out of the photo paper.

In the first picture, I raise my fingertips to his heart and make a sniper gesture. The flying pink petals entwine around us, making the air appear filled with a hint of sweetness.

MC: Wow, what a coincidence... this was actually captured on camera!

Kiro: So it seems that I cooperated quite well at that time.

MC: Hehe, your movements synchronized as soon as I "fired". Such is the on-the-spot reaction speed of a professional actor!

Kiro: It should be said that it was a direct bodily reaction, because at that time... you really "hit" me.

MC: Huh?

Kiro: Just like this...

As he speaks, he moves closer to me, his smiling blue eyes like an endless ocean.

Kiro: Looking at me intently like this, only at me...

Kiro: I was looking only at you, and the way you smiled went straight through my heart.

His frank gaze makes my ears go red. I smile and nudge him, pulling out the next photo.

We sit on tree stumps by the shore, the bright sunlight filtering through the leaves and falling onto us.

MC: This has to be the first camera we discovered by ourselves.

Kiro: If you ignore the fact that we sacrificed a portion of fish and chips, it counts.

Seeing him pout, I burst out laughing.

MC: But thanks to the seagulls that snatched the fries and flew over here, we were able to discover this scene and now we have such a beautiful photo!

MC: Does this make up for the small regret of having your fried fish taken away?

When he hears me ask this, he smiles and hooks my hand.

Kiro: As soon as I said that there was a camera, MC turned around and did the same thing as me. At that time, I felt that you were by my side with such a tacit understanding...

Kiro: It seems like I have nothing to regret.

He holds my hand and together, we turn to the next photo.

MC: Huh? This scene—

In this photo of me hopping around, I'm "occupying" two squares, and Kiro is hugging me from behind.

Coming over to take a look, his eyes light up, and he picks up the remote control to move the progress bar of the "variety show" we have just watched to a certain spot in the middle.

On the screen, Kiro takes a long step forward and hugs me from behind.

MC: Wow, it's almost the same angle as the one we took with the drone!

Kiro: They probably even said hello to each other at the time.

Kiro: "Hey, are you also taking pictures of this happy couple?"

MC: "Yes, such a beautiful moment must be recorded"!

I respond by lovingly poking Kiro's face in the photo with my fingers.

MC: Even though I have seen this scene before, it still makes me happy, seeing it again.

Kiro: Perhaps we've unconsciously left this little bit of "happiness" in every corner of the city.

Kiro: When you recycle them, the happiness you felt back then will reappear.

As we talk, we turn our eyes to the last photo.

Under the evening glow, Kiro is playing the guitar on the Ferris wheel.

The melody from that time faintly echoes in my ears. I hum a few notes, but the melody slips out of my mind.

MC: How did that song go?

Kiro: Like this—

Kiro hums two passages, but unlike the gentle and beautiful melody of that day, it is instead playful and lively.

He sways his body slightly, and his golden hair also sways with the dancing notes, making me smile and lean on his shoulder.

MC: Why do I feel something is different? How did this superstar forget the tune?

Kiro: Because I improvise them all.

Kiro: At that time, while we were sitting in the Ferris wheel, the whole city around us, and the setting sun falling on your hair... it was so beautiful that it was indescribable.

Kiro: At that moment, the world seemed to belong just to the two of us.

MC: What about now?

Kiro: Now, the two of us are like hibernating squirrels, staying at home to keep warm and enjoy snacks.

As he says this, he hums a few lively melodies. Leaning on his shoulder, I hum along with him, adding a bit of liveliness to the tranquility of this winter night.

Four brief moments, like splashed paint, make the memories of the past ten days even more brilliant.

After Kiro and I hang them on the wall, I look at the photos of us with great satisfaction.

Kiro: Hanging them here will increase the happiness of this home several times.

MC: I feel like every time I pass by here, I'll unconsciously look at them.

Kiro: Sure enough, happy moments still need images to record them.

Kiro: If MC feels less happy in the future, you can bring these photos to me and say—

Kiro: "Kiro! Cheer up! The 'number one spot of bringing happiness to MC' is going to be snatched away by Apple Box and Cello~"

Kiro: With the help of "professional cheerleader Miss Chips", it'll be "fixed" in no time.

We smile at each other, and when I look at the photos again, I suddenly realize something.

MC: Speaking of which, we were so busy filming and having fun this time that we didn't really complete the “main activity” of Finding Hearts very well.

Kiro: For me, the most important "heart" has always been by my side.

He smiles, and bringing his face close to mine, he looks at the photo of us on Huapu Street hanging on the wall.

Kiro: I also have a heart that I want you to find, and I plan to reveal it at the very end... but from the very beginning, I've always been "targeted" by you.

He takes my hand and places it on his chest.

Kiro: It's beating hard, isn't it?

Kiro: As soon as I get close to you, it will feel an irresistible "signal".

Kiro: It's like a guide, and also a "command". As long as I feel it, I will have all the happiness.

Kiro: I know it will always exist, so I will always be the happiest Kiro in the world.

The room falls silent and a blazing heat meets my lips, melting each and every one of his words.

Kiro: MC, this heart of mine is willing to be yours forever.

[END]

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

Masterlist: Here

[sitkowski]

hum static (twist it, grasp it) ( ryan sitkowski/justin morrow/ricky olson )

pairing: ryan sitkowski/justin morrow/ricky olson cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ friends with benefits, anal fingering, double anal penetration, rough sex, finger sucking, face slapping, biting, choking, justin is the meat in this sandwich and he left his last two brain cells in that bathroom in paris. word count: 3.1k author's note: my first fic for friends in sin miw kinktober is done. this one is for the prompt of 'multiple penetration'. shout out to @ao3userfeistycadavers for running this bad boy. hopefully i actually manage to get my other fics up during the month. please enjoy this! title comes from "static hum" by chelsea wolfe. divider by @saradika-graphics ✨

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Justin’s currently trapped in a real life episode of Family Feud. There’s one question on the board: name something your bandmate would ask you out of the blue. And of all the guesses Justin would make, being invited to a threesome was not one of them at all, not even a top five answer. He can literally hear the buzzer sound in his head as he stares at Ricky too long before answering his question. Both Steve Harvey and Ricky are waiting very patiently, the crowd is whispering. Justin is probably losing his mind.

“Repeat that, like I’m five.”

Ricky narrows his eyes at him. “You heard me.”

“Yeah no I did absolutely hear you. I could have sworn you asked me if I wanted to fuck around with you and Ryan. Since when do you and Ryan fuck around?”

Justin’s pretty sure his voice just reached a pitch it hasn’t since he was a teenager. Thankfully no one is around to hear him. Everyone else is dealing with the post show breakdown, and it’s just Ricky and Justin in this hallway, where Ricky dragged him to ask him this very important question.

“Oh no, I broke you.” Ricky reaches up to pat the top of Justin’s head sympathetically. He’s got to stand on his tiptoes to do it. “To answer your question, like six years now? On and off. You gonna answer my question, or are we pretending this never happened?”

The thing is Justin knows he’s in a band of objectively hot dudes. And while the revelation that Ryan and Ricky occasionally sleep together is blowing his mind almost as much as the original question Ricky asked, he’s pretty sure he’d be stupid to say no. He nods, because apparently his ability to speak has vanished as he’s now picturing whatever Ricky and Ryan have been getting up to for the past six years.

Fingers snap in front of his face, and he automatically reaches up to wipe at his mouth in case he’s doing something embarrassing like drooling.

“Uh yeah, no, I’m very much in. When?”

He starts wracking his brain for the next hotel night, and realizes that is where they’re headed after they’re done here. It also occurs to him that he and Ricky are rooming together like they always do these days.

“So I should tell Ryan you’re in for tonight? I need you to be absolutely sure, because the last thing I need is Chris butchering my ass and leaving my body parts along the highway because I fucked everything up.”

He doesn’t have the heart to tell him that Ricky could literally murder Justin and Chris would still love him. “Yeah. Tonight is good.”

Ricky just nods and wanders off to find Ryan, like he asked Justin if they were going to watch a movie when they got to the hotel or something. Justin’s still trying to process it all throughout the rest of the time at the venue. It’s not lost on him that Ryan and Ricky have planned this out, talked about him. He wishes he could have left ahead of everyone else to mentally prepare. Apparently, Ricky’s some sort of mind reader as well as a little sexual terrorist, because he pulls Ryan into the bar instead of towards the elevator when they reach the hotel.

Even though he showered at the venue, Justin showers again since things are going to be happening. It’s a miracle that he doesn’t jerk off before they get there, because he figures it’s pointless if there’s going to be someone else to touch his dick soon. By the time he emerges from the bathroom, both Ryan and Ricky are sitting at the table in the corner.

He feels caught. It’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling.

“Why does this look more like an intervention and less like a threesome?”

Ryan snorts and takes a pull from his vape, and Ricky kicks out the third chair. “Sit for a sec.”

It’s not a suggestion and Justin only hesitates for a minute before sitting down. They’re both looking at him now and he realizes that there’s about to be some sort of talk or feelings or whatever, before anything else happens.

“Is this the part where you two tell me you’re into some very freaky shit—”

“You’re into some very freaky shit. I mean, not on Rick’s level but you’ve got a big mouth. We all know it.”

“Relax,” Ricky says. “You act like I’m gonna chain you up or something.”

“Not the first time at least,” Ryan mutters, and Justin sees him jolt a little when Ricky kicks him under the table. “Have you even done anything like this before?”

Justin raises his eyebrows. “This isn’t my first threesome. Not my first time with a guy either. Two though...”

He trails off because he doesn’t need to elaborate on that. And honestly if he was going to trust anyone like this, of course it would be these two. They’re both staring at him like they’re going to eat him alive and maybe it takes him more than a minute to realize they’ve been looking at him like this for days.

“Is it your first time being fucked by two guys at once?”

“You mean like—”

Ryan makes an obscene gesture that is meant to mimic two cocks and one hole. Justin looks back and forth between the two of them. It’s not that he doesn’t think they’re serious, it’s that he thinks they’re insane. Apparently, some kind of panic shows on his face, and the two of them start having a private conversation with their eyes that makes him want to hide out on the balcony and smoke.

“Fuck, you’ve never bottomed before, have you?” Ricky asks the most obvious question. “You’re a—”

He’s never been ashamed of that, and he isn’t going to start now. “If you say it, I’m going to punch you in the dick and then only one of you will be able to fuck me instead of both.”

Ryan gives Ricky a smug look, and Justin pushes away from the table, making his way towards the bed. They’re both still sitting there, having that same conversation still, so he rolls his eyes and throws himself down on the mattress. Kicking off his shorts, he props himself up on his elbows, waiting to see which one of them is going to move first. While he waits he reaches down to wrap his fingers around the base of his cock, and they watch him before looking at each other and finally moving.

His dick jerks in his hand as they approach the bed, one on either side. Ricky reaches for him first, hand clamping down on his throat to push his head back into the pillows as his mouth comes down over Justin’s. He barely gets a chance to get too into it before Ryan wraps his hand around the edge of his jaw and turns his head so that he can kiss Justin next. Maybe he should be a little concerned with how easy it is to just kiss them both, let them pass his mouth back and forth like a blunt until his lips are swollen and he’s practically squirming into the sheets. But he’s more concerned with the fact they both still have their clothes on.

Finally they let him breathe, if only long enough for Ryan to use that hold on his jaw to make Justin look at Ricky. He absolutely does not analyze what it means that the two of them are smaller than him in some ways and he’s just letting them do whatever they want.

“You with us?” Ricky asks, and Ryan nods Justin’s head for him. “We’re gonna get you ready for us—”

“I, uh,” he knows that saying if you can’t say it, you shouldn’t be doing it is stupid, given the current situation, but he still finds himself stalling on the words in their presence. “Got ready in the shower, I’m good to go.”

Ryan laughs, a little meanly. “That’s cute. He thinks he’s ready.”

Justin absolutely does not whine at that. Except he doesn’t have any control of his mouth at this point, or his hands, which start pulling impatiently at both of them. He needs them to get with the program and get naked already. He tries to tell them that, but his words get cut off by Ricky pressing fingers into his mouth, dragging them over his tongue, pushing them back further. Justin gags, just a little, before he sinks his teeth into those fingers. He wraps his tongue around them, gets them as wet as he can. When Ricky pulls them out, he gives him a quick sharp slap to his cheek. It’s enough to pull a started moan from Justin’s throat.

“No biting,” Ricky says and then he drags his wet fingers down Justin’s chest. “You wanna turn over or you wanna stay like this?”

“You gonna take off your clothes at any point?”

Ryan’s hand comes down on his hip in a stinging slap, and Justin yelps, trying to squirm away from him. It only pushes him further into Ricky.

“Justin, hey look at me,” Ricky’s voice is suddenly deceptively soft, and he turns his head to look at him like he’s told. “You got a safeword?”

If they’re about to play good cock bad cock, Justin cannot tell which is which. They’re fucking with his head and they know it.

“Buffalo.”

It’s the first word that comes to his mind, and something he wouldn’t blurt out during sex. In normal circumstances, anyway. Ryan gets off the bed, moving around to where Ricky’s bags are piled. Ricky gives Justin’s thigh a tap and he just rolls over onto his stomach, shuffling up onto his knees. He hears the sound of shuffling fabric behind him, hears the murmur of voices as they talk behind him. He’s two seconds away from throwing himself onto his back again so he can watch when he feels Ricky’s spit slicked fingers slide into him.

As far as it goes, it doesn’t feel like much more than when he fingered himself in the shower earlier. Justin hitches out a breath and sinks further into the mattress. He feels the sharpness of teeth in his shoulder and the scrape of blunt nails down his back. Ricky’s fingers twist and spread and then there’s more. Because Ryan is edging his fingers in right alongside them. For a hot second, he tries to get away from what is essentially an entire hand in his ass, but then he moans and rocks back into it.

“You think this is enough?” Ryan asks, and Justin realizes that he’s not talking to him, he’s talking to Ricky. “I don’t think we can get any more in.”

Justin couldn’t agree more, all he can think about is how full he feels and how different it will be when they’re both fucking him. He starts to reach for his cock again, but Ryan wraps his free hand around his wrist, pinning it to the bed.

“You and I both know the second you get your hand on your dick, you’re gonna come. Be fucking patient.”

“You still good up there, big guy?” Ricky asks, and he twists his fingers just right.

Justin appreciates the check in but the fact that he’s still expected to form full sentences while they’re stretching him open is some sort of torture. He couldn’t even guess who keeps dragging their fingertips over his prostate, or what else they might be doing behind him.

“I’m gonna kill the both of you, the second we’re done here,” he moans into the sheets. Ryan laughs, and they both pull their fingers out. “Oh thank fucking god.”

His relief is short-lived, as Ryan moves up the bed and fits himself between Justin and the mattress. Justin immediately hauls him into a biting kiss, digging his fingers into his sides, trying to get some kind of control over the situation. But just because he’s under him doesn’t mean he’s got a leg to stand on. Not when he feels Ricky guiding Ryan’s cock into him. Ryan brings his hand up to Justin’s throat, pulling back to look him in the eyes.

“Well, you got one in. Good for you.”

Justin barks out a laugh, “Fuck you.”

The hand on his throat tightens, just a little. Just enough for him to feel it. Ryan gives him that mean smile again. “Yeah. You’re gonna eat those words, Morrow.”

Apparently that’s all the adjustment time he’s getting, and Ryan snaps his hips up. Justin jolts forward, catching himself with his hands on Ryan’s chest and he sucks in a shuddering breath. He lets him set the pace, and knows it’s probably easier that way. When he looks over his shoulder, he sees Ricky’s there, waiting.

“Come on,” Ryan says almost impatiently. The whole talking around Justin thing shouldn’t be doing it for him, yet it is. When Ricky crowds up behind him, fingers absently teasing over his rim where it’s stretched around Ryan’s cock, Justin doesn't think he’s going to survive this at all. Ryan stops moving. “Hold still. Trust me.”

“I do,” Justin blurts out. “I trust you both.”

Ricky braces a hand in between Justin’s shoulder blades, and Justin’s mouth falls open as he feels him sliding in alongside Ryan. It’s more than a stretch, and it’s both uncomfortable and everything he wants. Ryan keeps his hold on Justin’s throat, keeping his eyes on him, obviously checking for any signs that Justin would want to stop. But he couldn't imagine it. He’s suddenly so full that all he can do is breathe in through his nose and try not to claw his way through Ryan’s chest. It doesn’t register to him right away that one of them is talking to him, not until Ricky threads his fingers through Justin’s hair and pulls his head back.

“How does that feel?”

“It’s alotta dick.” Justin’s voice comes out high because of the angle Ricky’s holding him at. “It’s good. Great even. It would be better if you’d move.”

Ricky gives his hair another tug and Justin gasps and writhes up to try and lessen the tension, but it’s no use. Ryan’s no help either, because he wraps his hand around Justin’s cock and starts moving it slowly while both he and Ricky are just inside him, not doing anything.

“Fuck, please, okay I will beg if I have to,” Justin tries to move himself and finds that he can’t, not unless he were to really push for it, but he doesn’t have the brain capacity for it right now. “There is no way you assholes haven’t done this to someone else, fuck.”

“I don’t know about you Rick, but I think he’s ready.”

“Fuck you,” Justin says again, more breathless than the last time.

Ricky lets go of his hair, and pushes him forward, just a little bit more. Ryan’s hand that isn’t on his cock wraps around his jaw, and he feels the bite of his rings as he holds onto his face while Ricky pulls out slowly and shoves back in less slowly, and then Ryan rocks his hips up. All Justin can do is take it, his body pinned between them as they set a pace that makes his brain melt out of his ears. He’s as pliant as he can be, moving with each hard thrust in and slow drag out. Ryan’s let go of Justin’s cock only for him to be able to rub off against Ryan’s stomach while he presses those fingers into his mouth against Justin’s tongue.

“Is it too much?” Ricky asks as he mouths along Justin’s spine.

He can’t speak around Ryan’s fingers, so he just nods his head, pushes back into them as much as he can. It is too much, but it’s exactly what he wants. Ricky grabs onto Justin’s hips harder, yanking him into each thrust while Ryan holds him still. He keeps him grounded. Justin feels like he’s going to melt right off of this bed, off of the fucking planet. Ryan’s wet fingers drag down his face and Justin ducks down to kiss him. Sweat drips down onto Ryan’s chest, stings the little scratches that Ricky’s leaving on his hips and back. 

“You gonna come?” Ryan nips at Justin’s mouth, grins when he nods rapidly. “What about you, Rick?”

“Justin, you gotta tell us if we can come inside—”

“Way to ask now,” Justin mutters, looking over his shoulder. “It’s fine I know you’re both clean.”

Ricky groans and laughs, pressing his forehead against Justin’s back as his thrusts grow shallow and stuttered. He can’t actually feel it when Ricky comes, but he definitely feels it when he pulls out, slumping into Justin as Ryan uses the opportunity to fuck up into him roughly. It gives Justin room to be able to move now and he braces his hands on Ryan’s chest, grinding down on him with every thrust upward. Ricky’s at his side now, plastered against him and reaching between them to get his hand on Justin’s dick. His chin digs into Justin’s shoulder, and he feels his eyes burning into the side of his face.

“Hey Justin,” he says, voice casual as ever as he strokes his cock. “You’ve been so good for us.”

“The best,” Ryan groans out in agreement. He grabs onto Justin’s hips hard and holds him down on his cock, and comes inside of him. “Now you.”

It only takes a few more twists of Ricky’s hand for Justin to come all over his fist and Ryan’s stomach. He slumps forward a little, trying to catch his breath. Ricky pets his hand through his hair, and Ryan pulls him down for a slow kiss. When he turns his head, Ricky is there for kisses of his own. Finally, he’s able to lift himself up off of Ryan and fall onto the bed between the two of them.

“Now how do you feel?” Ricky asks. It’s impossible to miss the snark in his voice, and Justin tries to slap at him but it requires too much effort.

Ryan gives him another hard slap to his hip before he pushes himself out of the bed. “That wasn’t a rhetorical question.”

“I don’t have the spoons to answer your questions right now. Ask me again in an hour,” Justin somehow manages to twist himself over onto his back. He grimaces as he can feel the come dripping out of him as he moves. “Oh, I feel that.”

Ricky snorts, propping his chin up on Justin’s chest while Ryan disappears into the bathroom. “How against pictures are—”

“If you take out your camera and try to ask me for an update, you’ll never be allowed near my ass again.”

Ricky starts to say something, but Ryan tosses him a damp cloth that hits him directly in the face.

⇉ taglist @deathblacksmoke @ladyveronikawrites @circle-with-me @ao3userfeistycadavers

@rumoured-whispers @dominuslunae @cookiesupplier

if you ’d like to be added to the taglist, you can find the form at the top of this fic! thanks for reading/reblogging 🩷

[clumsiestgiantess]

Still thinking about Twilight Zone g/t because there were some banger episodes that gave me brainrot. Here’s a few that I know about:

My favorite has to be ‘Stopover in a Quiet Town’, where a young couple wakes up in a strange house after spending the night drunk. They go to thank the owner for letting them crash there, but there’s no one home. There’s no one in the town. The only ‘person’ they find is made of plastic, and the train out of town only has one stop: the town. The suspense that keeps building as the couple find more and more pieces of the world are fake, paired with lighthearted laughter from someone neither the characters or the audience can see — I had my suspicions, but the plot twist still managed to catch me off guard with the last few sentences.

Then there’s ‘Five Characters in Search of an Exit’. The situation alone is enough for you to start feeling for these guys. Five people with seemingly random professions are trapped in a giant container with no way out and no memories of who they were prior to being in the container. Slowly people disappear and are replaced with new ones, but no one ever comes back. After a whole lot of depression, the characters all come together to lift the newest member onto the edge of the giant container. He gasps, the others have to see this! It’s- Then he falls. Moments later, he’s back in the container again. Why? What’s out there that won’t let them go?

My final for the top three is ‘The Little People’. This one’s pretty obviously g/t by the name. Astronauts crash land on a strange planet, they have to try and fix the ship to go home but they’re stranded, etc. Normal sci-fi stuff. But one crewmate wanders off and finds an incredibly small civilization. At first the relationship is mutual. The tinies help him get enough food and water to survive, but the crewmate who found them begins to let the powder go to his head. He can do whatever he wants to this civilization; no one can stop him except the others his size, so he’ll just keep it a secret.

The two I mentioned in this are ‘The Fear’ and ‘The Invaders’.

Other honorable mentions include ‘Four O’ Clock’ & ‘Miniature’.

Technically this isn’t from the Twilight Zone, but it’s an old horror movie called Attack of the Puppet People that’s basically one long TZ episode. A few innocent people end up captured and shrunk, forced to play the act of obedient dolls by the madman who shrunk them. The situation seems rather dire, but the gang keep trying to escape regardless. The ray that can grow them back is just across the room, surely they can make it out.

[astriiformes]

Talking with Scribe about strong emotional responses we've had to fiction in the past and I feel like my top five have to be:

Wandering around the grocery store in a semi-dissociative haze immediately after seeing Rogue One

Sobbing with my dad for the last, like, 15 minutes of Peter Capaldi's regeneration episode. Father-son bonding experience

The episode of Critical Role where Fjord ends his warlock pact, which got me so good that Scribe had to ask if I was okay when she got home from work an hour later

The night that Hollow Mind aired and I slept for maybe an hour because my brain was physically incapable of shutting off

The point she and I totally broke playing Pentiment, after finishing Act II, and had to retreat to the kitchen to cry

[respectthepetty]

Jeng speaking English should come with at least a 10 minute warning so I can collect myself.

goddammit!!!!

Y'all know that I mute and speed up my shows, so I didn't realize he was speaking English until the Thai subs kept coming up; then, I had to rewind and slow it down to hear it, so I could appreciate the cuteness. Jeng bringing out his multilingual side to confess AGAIN made him more adorable!

And because this isn't the first time the use of another language in a BL has caused me to stop in my tracks, let me give you something you didn't even ask for -

My Top Five Favorite Uses of Another Language in BLs!

offered in no particular order

My Only 12% - English

Cake was studying with his pals when he decided to call it a night. He went into his bedroom and apologized to his boyfriend Eiw for waking him up. Eiw told Cake he wasn't really sleeping well because Cake wasn't next to him, and that was all it took for Cake's heart-eyes to be activated. He kissed Eiw so tenderly only to then dedicate an ode to Eiw's entire body, mind, and soul all in English while kissing each part of Eiw's body as he praised it. What a king!

Never Let Me Go - Mandarin

I already thought that Palm liked Nueng's mean side a little too much before Wu and David wandered into Mam's bar, but this exchange solidified that Palm had a specific kink and Nueng was more than happy to offer Palm a helping hand a scolding insult. Nueng took great pleasure calling his boyfriend a fool in every language he knew including Mandarin, and I'm sure that is part of the reason Palm came around to Nueng extending his time abroad for schooling. The more education Nueng has, the more languages he can berate Palm in.

Unintentional Love Story - Spanish

The main couple were great, but I was showing up every week for Donghee and Hotae's friends-to-enemies-to-menaces plot because once they screamed at each other in the alley, the only reasonable next step was to sleep together, no? Maybe that's just me, but Hotae trying to prove to Donghee that he was serious about him by learning Spanish like one of the Hisstrange (Hispanic) men Donghee liked had me screaming, "SECOND SEASON WHEN?" which now I must patiently wait for to see how well Hotae's improves his language skills for his amor.

KinnPorsche - English

The VegasPete arc was a wild ride. They went from spying and torturing to crying and fucking in the span of two episodes, but what was the craziest moment of them all was when after sex and STILL CHAINED UP, Vegas turned to Pete and softly said, "Do you know how sexy you are?" Like . . . bitch, what?! Even crazier was Pete's apathetic response of "mmm" as if he had heard that line a thousand times after bringing countless men to their knees with his free therapy and snarky comebacks. Vegas served a lot of great English lines, but this one took the cake, and the tossed salad.

Moonlight Chicken - Modern Standard Thai Sign Language

Heart and Li Ming's story was already the sweetest thing since a nice mango sorbet on a hot day, but add in the fact that Wen, the bridge between Li Ming and his uncle Jim, was not only fully supportive of these two kids finding happiness within each other, but started to learn MSTSL so he could communicate with Heart was what pushed me over the edge. Heart's own parents couldn't be bothered to learn how to communicate with their son, but Li Ming's very-gay-uncle's boyfriend did. Wen knew he needed an ally to deal with these stubborn guys, and no better than the boyfriend of your-soon-to-be-nephew. Ghost Host, Ghost House gets an honorable mention for MSTSL as well.

Bonus

KinnPorsche - English

Ken and Big were two bad bitches and the Regina George and Maddy Perez of Kinn's bodyguard squad. Big had his reasons for disliking Porsche like being jealous that the man he loved was in love with this idiot, but Ken just hated Porsche for being an idiot who upset the guy he was in love with (Ken x Big is canon to me), so when Ken yelled, "Are you fucking dumb, bro?!" at Porsche with Perth's Australian accent, I was cackling. It made me instantly think Ken was the mole because only someone who was rocking with Vegas "but this wasn't the fucking plan" Theerapanyakul could drop bangers like this.

[kingsofeverything]

1k words of harry’s pov after Louis leaves at the end of tshu PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!

lol yayyyyyyyyyy i think i've posted part of this before but maybe just the email. i hope i didn't post the whole thing. it's called the drum beats out of time:

If he drives straight back to the flat, he could be in bed by midnight, but he doesn’t. Harry backs his car out of the garage bay, sits there with it still in reverse and watches as the door is slowly lowered until it’s fully closed. Even then, he doesn’t head down the drive toward the road for another minute or two, and when he eventually leaves, he turns right instead of left and wanders around aimlessly, driving until he’s low on gas before he goes home. 

It’s a little after one in the morning when Harry finally gets the key to turn in the lock and he stumbles inside the empty flat, but he isn’t tired, or is too keyed up to sleep, probably. Still, he walks back to the bedroom, pulling his clothes off on his way through the dark flat. Harry feels around on the top of his dresser and finds his laptop, settles onto the bed with it, figuring he’ll distract himself for the next little bit before two o’clock. He just wants to stay awake until Louis leaves, as if his being awake and aware makes a difference. As if he’ll feel Louis’ absence more acutely once he’s no longer in this time.

He opens Netflix, but ignores it in favor of checking his email. There’s a short message from Zayn, telling Harry to keep in touch, and reassuring him that Louis will make it to 2023 just fine. Which he can’t know, and Zayn admits as much, but he says he has a good feeling about it. Harry’ll reply to Zayn’s email later, maybe in the morning or maybe in a few days. When he’s not feeling as raw as he is tonight. 

Harry clicks over to Netflix and watches the pilot episode of Friends, something he’s seen dozens of times and doesn’t have to focus on or keep up with, something he can pretend to watch while he zones out and thinks of Louis and watches the minutes pass on the digital clock in the bottom right corner of his laptop screen. At one fifty-nine, Harry closes out Netflix and stares at the clock. His heartbeat gets incrementally faster, and when the numbers change to read two o’clock, Harry gasps involuntarily and his stomach flips almost violently as he thinks of Louis being taken away from him. Because that’s how he sees it, even if it’s nowhere near the truth. For the next few minutes, Harry continues to watch the clock, and when it’s five after two, he bites his lip and closes his eyes, letting the few tears he has left roll down his cheeks. 

Blinking to clear his vision, Harry stretches his fingers, then opens a new email message. 

To: futurelou

Subject: hi

You’re probably in 2023 already, which is totally fucking with my head. I miss you so much and you just left a few minutes ago. I hope the trip wasn’t bad or uncomfortable…….. Sounds like you’re on a train or something instead of traveling through a wormhole into the future. Idk why I’m emailing you other than I thought of you (haven’t stopped thinking of you, actually) and wanted to talk to you, so here I am. Now that you’re not here to distract me, I’m going to buckle down and figure out what I’m going to do at uni. Eventually. I love you. 

Always yours,

Harry

————

“It’s fucking raining. Shocking, I know,” Harry says, phone wedges between his ear and his shoulder, fiddling with the key in the door, and finally locking it through sheer force of will. At least that’s something he won’t have to deal with in London—wishing for Louis to be there every single time he tries to lock or unlock the goddamn flat. 

Harry hurries to his car and slides behind the wheel, but rushing doesn’t do a damn thing because he’s absolutely soaked. The ends of his hair are dripping rainwater onto his already wet clothes. He wipes his phone dry on the upholstery of the passenger seat, pulls his hair aside with one hand and squeezes some of the water out before twisting it up into a bun and asking, “How is he?”

“I don’t know,” Zayn answers quietly. “It’s not like we talk. He comes to work, he stays late, we avoid each other, and repeat.”

Harry sighs. “I just miss him.”

“I know, mate. I, um… I do too. It’s weird. Listen, when you have time, I want to talk to you about the stabilization of the wormhole.”

“What about?”

“Nothing now. And no big rush. Just when you get settled with your sister, give me a ring?”

“Not sure what you think I can help with. I mean, I’ve got Louis’ notes, but…”

Zayn clicks his tongue and Harry rolls his eyes, knowing what comes next. “It’s nothing to do with Louis’ notes. Want to bounce some ideas around in that curly head of yours. And, Harry, please think it over. You’d be such an asset. You already are.”

Harry scoffs. “I’m not even starting uni until September, if then, and I told you I’m not strong in maths. I don’t see the point in studying physics if I can’t handle—”

“I might know a guy who can tutor you. Just think about it. And let’s Skype soon. Yeah?”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry looks at their old flat through the rain battering the windshield, turns on the wipers and watches them swish back and forth. He mutters, “Wish you could give him my love or something.”

Zayn laughs and says, “He’d kick my arse. How about… send me some of his tea. I’ll sneak it into the break room. It’ll be like a secret gift from you to him.”

Harry smiles, but then his eyes begin to water and he bites his lip and nods, even though Zayn can’t see him. He takes a breath and tries to keep his voice steady. “Thanks, Z. Get some sleep. It’s late there.”

“I’m off tomorrow, so no worries. Safe travels, mate. Anything I can do, just let me know.”

Harry hangs up and sets his phone in the cup holder, rubs his eyes with the cuff of his flannel shirt, and checks the rearview mirror before backing into the road and taking off. It’s still dark out, the sun won’t be up for a few hours, and the roads in Donny are dead quiet. A stark difference from what he knows he’ll find in London, especially since he’s due to arrive at his sister’s sometime around half-nine. 

The repetitive whirring sound of his tires spinning on the street is almost hypnotizing, so Harry clicks on his radio and flips to his most recently made and most listened to playlist and sings along to all of the sad songs that somehow seem to lessen the ache of missing Louis. 

Eleven weeks down, two hundred forty-nine to go. 

[solalunar-eclipse]

Sonic Boom - S3E12

Chapter title: Schrödinger's Hedgehog, Part 1

Summary: The final mystery about Shadow begins. Who is he, really? Why has he always stayed distant from others? What is his story?

This four-part special will answer all of those questions and more.

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[Scene opens on the six heroes playing volleyball. Sonic, Knuckles and Tails have formed one team, leaving Amy, Sticks, and Shadow on the other.]

“Knux! Knux! I’m open, let me spike it!” Sonic shouted, leaping into the air. The echidna obligingly passed it to him, helping their team score a point as Sonic smashed it into the sand. Shadow teleported in front of the ball before it could roll into the forest and carried it back, shooting Sonic an absolutely deadly look in the process (whether for scoring a point or for making him go get the ball, it wasn’t entirely clear).

“Come on, guys, we won’t lose to them, will we?” Amy insisted, doing her best to inspire her teammates. Carefully, she served the ball, giving Sticks an opportunity to set it over the net. After a few more minutes of tense play, Tails stumbled in the sand, giving Shadow a perfect opening to spike the ball himself. He smirked, making direct eye contact with Sonic as his palm connected with the volleyball.

Unfortunately for him, the angle of his hand turned out to be just ever so slightly off. He realized this quickly, only seconds before all the others, and his expression shifted into one of mild horror before his hand had even left the ball. It was obvious enough that the moment he landed, everyone else automatically turned towards the water, waiting for the splash of an out-of-bounds shot.

Instead, they all watched, mildly stunned, as it sailed over the horizon.

The moment Shadow landed in the sand, they turned back to him, staring incredulously. He winced. “I guess I hit it harder than I meant to.” he said nervously into the silence.

Suddenly, the entire team exploded in cheers and laughter. “Man, that was awesome!” Sonic cried.

“I just wish I’d gotten it on video.” Tails sighed wistfully.

Sticks walked up to the group, smiling one of her rare genuine smiles. “This’ll be one of those stories we’ll talk about for years, won’t it?”

“You know it!” Knuckles cheered excitedly.

Meanwhile, Shadow just smiled awkwardly and wished with all his might (despite all of the positive attention he was getting) that he hadn’t done it at all.

…

[The same intro sequence plays as last time, but Shadow is slightly less irritated. He still refuses to play along with the others, but is no longer outright angry. If anything, he looks slightly amused by the others and their antics.]

[There is no villain reveal in this episode, however, and so Dr. Eggman is introduced like an ordinary character (since he is one of the main characters of the show, as he himself would inform anyone at the slightest provocation).]

[The intro then continues on, before ending with the title of this week’s episode.]

…

After the abrupt ending to their volleyball game, the team decided to wander around town and see if there was anything else interesting to do. In Shadow’s opinion, the simple fact that the other five existed was entertaining enough to count as ‘interesting’ all on its own, but they didn’t seem to agree.

Approximately two and a half seconds after they stepped across the town’s border, an extraordinarily loud shriek of “My baby!” was heard, and everyone except for Shadow (who hadn’t experienced this enough to get sick of it yet) groaned. 

“Not this again!” Sonic complained, even as the entire team headed in the direction of the shout to investigate.

“Does this woman know the first thing about childcare?” Amy sighed. “You’re not supposed to keep your eyes off your child for any extended period of time!”

Once the six made it to the scene, they discovered that this time, the baby in question had somehow managed to clamber up to the top of the highest building in town. They were currently attempting to climb the spire at the very top, but kept on slipping each time.

Sonic sighed. “Can someone else keep the baby from falling today? I’m just not feeling it right now.”

“I got it! I’m great at climbing!” Knuckles said, immediately digging his spikes into the side of the building and hauling himself onto the roof. He was just in time, too, as the baby’s most recent attempt to clamber up the extremely thin spire ended in a near disaster. They completely lost their grip on the metal pole, and began to slide down the roof towards the edge—on the opposite side from Knuckles.

Just as the baby was about to slide over the edge, the echidna dove across the roof, caught the baby in one arm, and then rolled off the side before catching himself on the gutter with his other hand. Gently, he dropped to the ground and handed the baby back to their delighted mother…who immediately wandered off to resume her shopping, not even bothering to give him the praise he deserved.

Thankfully, his friends were there to do that for her.

“Ohmygosh, Knuckles, that was actually so cool!” Tails cried, his eyes wide. “Where’d you learn tricks like that?”

“Oh, you know.” Knuckles said, and then didn’t elaborate.

“No, we don’t, actually.” Sticks replied, giving him a slightly bewildered look.

“I mean, living alone in the wilderness for most of your formational and adolescent years means you learn all kinds of cool survival stuff.” Knuckles explained. “Have you…oh right, you guys have always had houses! I forgot that not everyone is new to this house thing like me.”

“You…forgot?” Amy asked, frowning.

“Yep!” Knuckles smiled cheerfully, clearly unaware that it was abnormal to have spent most of one’s life on this island without a house.

Now that the latest crisis had been averted, the team continued throughout the town in search of something at least as exciting as a baby almost dying.

“Oh, wow!” Tails gasped when they passed the movie theater, running up to the front doors. He pointed at a poster excitedly. “Look at this, guys! I can’t believe the theater is actually getting the new Tommy Thunder movie! It’s coming out next week, and see, it’s called Rise of the Robot Overlords! It’ll be so cool to see someone fighting robots on the big screen just like us!” 

Shadow twitched, his legs slowing down automatically. The poster depicted Tommy Thunder (obviously) stabbing one robot through the chest with a massively oversized sword and shooting another robot’s head off with an equally massively oversized gun. 

Shadow wrenched his eyes away from the image with great difficulty, staring at the ground instead.

Amy shrugged. “I’m glad you’re excited, but we fight robots every day! What’s so special about these ones? They’re all just there to get destroyed in battle or blown up anyway.”

The striped hedgehog opened his mouth to speak, before shutting it again.

“They’re made with really cool special effects, that’s all!” Tails said, his eyes sparkling. “Plus, I always like to see if I can figure out what’s a model and what’s CG.”

Sticks’s eyes grew so wide it was a surprise that they didn’t take up most of their face. “Wait, hang on, why is nobody talking about the title of the movie?! Rise of the WHAT? They’re not even hiding their plans anymore! Everybody! Find food and shelter while you still can!” they screamed, running around the town at top speed.

[Their shrieking is still faintly audible for most of the rest of the scene.]

Shadow winced again, before doing his best to mask it as something brought on by Sticks screaming.

Knuckles frowned. “I dunno, Tails…your robots are cool, but I don’t trust any of the others. Most of them are either made by Eggman or don’t do what they’re supposed to. Or both!”

Tails folded his arms. “What about FriendBot? Or Q-N-C and MAIA?” he asked, not noticing the way Shadow outright flinched. “They were helpful!”

“Oh, are you guys talking about robots?” Eggman asked, strolling up with his arms full of grocery bags. 

“Yeah!” Tails said. “Knuckles thinks that most robots are bad, and Amy thinks they’re boring.”

“Wait, where did you come from?” Amy asked the doctor suspiciously.

“I heard someone talking about robots—which is my specialty, in case you hadn’t noticed—and decided that the conversation would undoubtedly be improved by my input!” Eggman said proudly. “Also, I came from the grocery store. Could you not tell that by the fact that I am currently holding groceries?”

Amy sighed, pinching her brow, and refused to dignify that with a response.

Eggman rolled his eyes, returning to the original conversation. “They’re plenty helpful! All you have to do is keep reminding them that they’re replaceable, or else they’ll start getting all high and mighty about ‘wages’ and stuff like that. I mean, do you remember that time mine went on strike? It was a disaster!”

“They are not replaceable!” Amy cried. “Bea is absolutely unique, and I love her very much!”

“So are you saying that not all robots are boring, then?” Tails replied smugly. 

Amy huffed. “Not all of them! I’d never generalize like that. But look at all of the ones in this movie! They’re faceless and boring, like those Sentinel things. Bea has much more personality than this!”

Shadow cringed at the sound of the word ‘Sentinel’. He began carefully moving towards the side of the movie theater, hoping to escape this conversation.

“Hey Shadow!” Sonic called, making him freeze in his tracks. The hero had bought a box of popcorn and was leaning against a wall, watching the others as they argued. “What do you think of robots?”

“I…don’t have much of an opinion on them.” he said, measuring each word carefully. “Lyric’s robots were awful for the most part, but the doctor’s are less so.”

Sonic ate another handful of popcorn before replying. “Fair enough! I just figure, if they’re cool and can help us, then sure, they’re great! But otherwise, I’m happy smashing them. Tails is the one with all the gadgets—I can live with or without ‘em.”

“Oh. I suppose that makes sense.” Shadow said quietly.

[The camera cuts to show him clenching his fists at his sides, tightly enough that his claws begin to pierce the fabric of his gloves.]

Suddenly, a violent rumble shook the ground, making everyone reel and struggle to keep their balance. Sticks skidded to a stop next to the rest of the group, dropping down to all fours immediately. “Earthquake!” they screeched.

The moment that the first wave had passed, the heroes sprang into action. “Alright!” Sonic cried. “Everyone, get into a doorway or under a table! You’ll be safe there until this thing is over!”

He and Shadow began to rush around the village, helping the people who were stuck outside with nowhere to go. Meanwhile, the others began rapidly to get those closer nearby to safety, switching into ‘hero mode’ with ease. 

Except for Eggman, of course. He just leapt into his Eggmobile and flew away to his island (though he did help one or two people before leaving, and immediately swore them to secrecy on pain of death).

Sonic dashed back to the movie theater, tucking himself under the ticket counter with the others just as the second wave began. They all linked hands as quake after quake passed through, riding it out until the very end.

The moment it ended, the hero checked on Tails first, making sure his little brother was okay. “I’m fine, Sonic!” he insisted, waving the hedgehog away fondly. “I was right here with you, wasn’t I?”

“Everyone else alright?” he asked, checking in on the rest of his friends.

“All good here!” Amy replied, smiling at him. “Sticks and Knuckles seem fine to me too. How’s Shadow?”

“Shadow?” Sonic frowned. “Wasn’t he with you?”

“No, the last time I saw him was when he was running around with you.” she insisted.

Suddenly, they all realized the same thing at once. “Then…where is Shadow?” Amy whispered.

Sonic turned pale. “Oh, no…”

[cut to commercials]

[…]

[fade back in]

When the show returned, the entire team was already rushing all over the village, searching for Shadow. Tails was busy scanning for life signs from above, while Sonic sped throughout the streets as quickly as he could, hoping to spot Shadow safe and sound anywhere at all. Amy asked around, searching for clues as to where he’d been seen last, and Sticks and Knuckles took the more direct approach of simply digging through rubble at random in hopes of stumbling upon him.

After several tense minutes, including more than a few futile calls of his rival-turned-friend’s name, Sonic stumbled upon the little pink porcupine who had been a fan of his in times past weeping on the ground.

“Mister?” she sobbed. “Mister, please, get up…”

Sonic felt his body go cold. “Hey there, kiddo.” he said softly, forcing his face into a noticeably false smile. “What happened?”

“That hedgehog, he—he saved me,” she whimpered, “‘cause the big house was gonna fall on me but it fell on him instead!” She began to wail openly, and Sonic hugged her, his body moving on autopilot. He sent an SOS to the rest of the team, calling them to his position.

“Oh my…” Amy whispered, the first to arrive.

Tails and Knuckles held each other quietly as they appeared on the scene, and even Sticks found her usual energy vanishing as she saw what had happened. However, she was also the first to step forward and take charge, since she was (somehow) the most no-nonsense of them all at times.

“We should start by clearing off all of…this.” she said, gesturing at the house covering Shadow. 

Immediately, all five of them began to clear away the ruins of the house. At first, the porcupine girl helped a little, but they soon returned her to her mother, not wanting her to see whatever might lie underneath. Sonic dug frantically until Tails pulled him back for a quick hug, which he silently accepted. Sticks worked more methodically, Amy smashed bigger rocks into easier-to-lift chunks, and Knuckles hauled the biggest rocks of all out of the way. Tails mostly showed them where to dig without making the rubble collapse and crumble any further than it already had.

Soon enough, Shadow was exposed, and Knuckles carefully lifted his limp body out of the ruins of the house. Tails leaned over to listen for a moment, before sighing with relief. “I can hear his heartbeat.” he announced, letting the entire team relax for the first time in nearly an hour.

The fox flew with Knuckles as he carried Shadow back to the workshop, while the other three stayed behind to clean up a bit of the mess. It was very clear that they were struggling, though—Sonic couldn’t seem to stop tapping his feet, even when he was working, and Amy clutched her hammer like a lifeline. Sticks figured it made sense. They were two of the most exuberant and friendly people on the team, and they’d been the first ones to befriend Shadow. Of course they’d be the most nervous about him now.

As soon as the three were done fixing up what they could, Sonic dragged them back to the workshop as quickly as he possibly could. He burst through the doors frantically, looking everywhere for a glimpse of Shadow. 

“Is he okay?” he asked fearfully, rushing over to Tails. 

“I think so.” the fox replied. “I just can’t make sense of these pulse readings!”

“Does he need CPR?” Amy asked. “I’ve taken a couple of certification courses, just in case.”

“It’s not that…his heart’s beating just fine.” Tails explained. “It’s just that—you know how our hearts beat twice per cycle? Like this.” He tapped out a double rhythm on the table. Tap-tap. Tap-tap.

“Yeah?” Sonic said. “What’s this have to do with Shadow, pal?”

“His heart isn’t doing that. It sounds more like this.” Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Is that safe?” Knuckles wondered nervously.

“I…I just don’t know.” Tails muttered, disappointed. “It’s like whenever I try to scan him for injuries, something stops my machines from seeing what’s inside him. Like, they say the scan is finished and then a blank image of his insides pops up.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have any organs for you to scan.” Sticks’s eyes darted from side to side suspiciously.

“Sticks, that’s downright impossible!” Tails exclaimed. “There’s no way anyone could live without organs.”

“Maybe no one on this planet.” Sticks whispered. “But aliens could.”

Tails sighed, shook his head, and went back to recalibrating his machines.

Hours passed, and Shadow still didn’t stir. Amy, Knuckles, and Sonic had gone into the house to eat, even though none of them seemed particularly hungry. Tails suspected they just needed a break from worrying about their friend.

Sticks was still standing there, watching the prone hedgehog carefully. “It doesn’t make sense.” they murmured to themselves at one point. “If he was strong enough to break through my defenses, then he should be strong enough to deal with a house…”

Suddenly, while Tails’s back was turned, they crept up to where Shadow was lying. They’d never trusted machines before, and these scanner failures were just proving them right. Whether Shadow was an alien or not, he was still their friend, and they were determined to help however they could.

(Though they thought it would be very exciting if he was an alien.)

Carefully, they held his wrist and took his pulse themself. It did feel strange, but it was very faint and difficult to read through the glove. Despite that, though, Sticks was certain that whatever this was…

…it definitely wasn’t a hedgehog’s heart.

Determined to learn more, they began to carefully slide off his glove, feeling a tiny bit guilty but pressing forward anyway. If Shadow’s survival depended on uncovering his potential secrets, then a single glove couldn’t stand in the way of that.

They closed their eyes as it slid off, before peeking quickly. What they saw made their eyes widen and their fur stand on end.

“Tails?” they said weakly.

“Yeah? What is it, Sticks?”

“You, uh…might wanna come over here for a sec.”

“Did you find something new? Is—”

The moment he noticed what Sticks had seen, he froze.

“Oh, Chaos.” the two-tailed fox breathed, already reaching for his communicator.

[screen fades to black]

[Sticks complains, “Seriously? A cliffhanger now?! The government is trying to silence me! Don’t let them win!”]

[roll credits]

[birdbutt]

personal tma episode today woohoo I suppose (uh.... cw for rotten/scary ?food? I guess)

I work in mail sorting. In one of The Big mail sorting plants, the kind of building lined with conveyor belts that take things across the building, up and down different floors, just wherever it needs to get to so it can leave in the right direction to the local stations and parcel carriers. A big mechanical nervous system. Filled with packages or letters instead of flesh or blood.

You find a lot of weird things in the mail. You just have to learn to ignore it. It gets weirder even on the overnight shift. Not just drugs or other illegal oddities, but those truly bizarre sights you know you'll have no way of describing later. If you even remember them after a long night.

8pm to 5am is when I'm there. We even sort on Sundays. Have to get the mail to your station by Monday you know? I usually like to listen to podcasts while I work. I mean, I'm just standing in place, waiting for that labyrinth of moving belts and conveyors to drop the next round of mail into my chute so I can start sorting the zip codes. I'll put each package on another conveyor belt, key in a code on a small number console, then watch the package get taken away and dropped into another cart or chute somewhere. There's four other drop chutes just like mine, lined up along the main belt behind me, with another equally bored or just plain tired plant worker waiting for the next round of endless deliveries to sort. All listening to their own music or books or even having a late night phone conversation. Today I was playing The Magnus Archives. It really didn't feel like it would matter what I listened to at the time. I was in the middle of episode 36 - Taken Ill, and as the narrator started describing the sickly horror of the scripted week a package at the top of my chute broke open and a slimy, pale yellow, almost gray fluid starts pouring out... well oozing out. It seemed slow, but happened so fast that I couldn't have done anything to help minimize it even if I wanted to get close enough to do that. It got over everything. The belt, the chute, the other packages, even the floor. It didn't just get my area either. When it broke it was still close enough to the main conveyor belt that it spread to the other four chutes after me too. The smell was so strong I almost couldn't move at first. Almost sweet. Before the strench of almost tangible rot slammed it's way so hard into my brain my legs nearly gave out.

Well the stench obviously traveled all over. Farther than normal I guess. Everyone on our floor level could smell it and was coming over to find out what happened. I mean everyone too which is impressive. This is not a small building, it takes about five minutes for someone fit to speed walk from one end of our floor to the other. So it was kind of a joke everytime we caught another brave soul wandering over from so far to try and figure out just what the hell they were being forced to smell.

We get people trying to mail cooked foods or meals all the time, it always turns rotten before the package even makes it to a sorting plant. Always. It's so stupid, but also so common you hardly notice it after a couple months there. A turkey sandwich in a manilla envelope, ham with mashed potatoes on a ceramic plate, a plastic baggy of homemade pickles. Almost makes me chuckle sometimes. Well, almost chuckle AFTER, the slime and smell of what used to be something consumable gets mopped up. So that full bodied stench of old organic rot isn't foreign to us in the plants by any means. Nobody could say for sure what had rotted though, but we all agreed it was definitely familiar. When we removed the box from the top of the chute we still couldn't figure out what it was. Usually when one of these busts we get to see what ever moldy, decomposed chunk meat or produce someone tried to mail ooze out of the soggy cardboard when picked up. This was somehow just slime. A molded pale yellow that almost seemed gray. There wasn't anything else. It looked like someone had packaged up only the decay while leaving out what originally fed it. If there had ever been anything else it seemed to have already completely liquefied. And it filled the entire box and more. It seemed to be too much for the package that broke. We all tried to joke about how long the package must have been lost in the twisted turns of the never ending veins of sorting machinery to get /that/ rancid, but we couldn't bare to keep our mouth open too long around it. Thinking back I don't remember anyone actually complaining about the SMELL, just how it was stronger than normal, strong enough to taste. All from a square box barely 7 inches long. A box that hadn't even smelled until it spilled open. Or we thought it had spilled, we couldn't see what might have been the tape holding it closed anywhere in the soggy mess.

Because it was just so... wet we almost forgot to check if the mailing info was still intact any any way before we binned it for another crew to inspect and clean. No chance of saving it at this point. The address had melted away into that yellowish sick of spoiled matter, but the postage mark was still dry. Pristine even. A bright unmarked spot of bright dry paper on a sea of decomposing filth where there sat a single fly. That lonely insect drawing my attention to the smallest bit of information that I would have never noticed, or thought to check, without the dance it seemed to do right on top. Pointing me to the punchline of a joke I never wanted to know.

It had been sent locally that same day.

You find a lot of weird things in the mail. You just have to learn to ignore it.

[puddygeeks]

Wᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ Dᴇᴀᴅ Oʀ Aʟɪᴠᴇ - Sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ Tʜɪɴɢs, Eᴅᴅɪᴇ Mᴜɴsᴏɴ/OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 5: Iᴍᴘᴜʟsᴇs

Masterlist

Episode: Pre season 4

Rating: Mature

Summary: Since she was five years old, Marcie Bell and Eddie Munson have been inseparable. There was never one without the other. That is, a near death experience with the Mind Flayer changed everything. Now, Marcie must navigate her newly realised feelings for Eddie, whilst facing down the Upside Down all over again. Whoever said love was easy?!

Fix it fic. There will be absolutely no Eddie Munson death here!

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Eddie Munson x OC

Status: Ongoing

My writing is entirely fueled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee  

Warnings: 𝑀𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝐷𝑟𝑢𝑔/𝑎𝑙𝑐𝑜ℎ𝑜𝑙 𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑢𝑙𝑡/𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑, 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡, 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛, 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑛𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠, 𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑎, ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑎, 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ, 𝑏𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑈𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝐷𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑟𝑦.    

Taglist: @toobsessedsstuff

A/N: I am so sorry for the massive delay in getting this published. It was a real struggle to make this chapter work and took many edits, but we got there in the end! As for my posting schedule, I actually just had my first baby a couple of weeks ago so life is complete chaos right now. I still absolutely plan to write when I can but I have no idea when that will be. Thanks for sticking with me anyway. Every kudos and comment means the world to me <3

♫  ♠  ♫  

Chapter 5

Robin and Steve looked equally uneasy as they followed Marcie into the dive bar. Their feet stuck to the floors as they walked, residue of spilt drinks or other substances that didn’t bear thinking about now decorating the soles of their shoes. Though there was a gig planned, it was surprisingly quiet with only around 10 drunks hanging around by the bar. However, they could only shake their heads in bemusement at the way Marcie strolled in and waved at several of the audience as if she was in her element. 

Marcie approached the bar with confidence, chuckling at how lost her friends looked behind her. Despite being underage, she knew all of the tricks to a good night out at this venue and simply ordered three colas, planning to top hers up from the flask that was hidden in the back of her jeans. She gestured for the other two to come take their glasses when she caught the eye of a familiar older customer who sat on a stool nearby.

“I was starting to wonder where you were.” Terry called as he wandered over to her side with a teasing smile. “Your boy’s playing tonight. He was looking nervous without you.”

“He’s not my boy, Terence.” Marcie scolded lightly, her words making as little impact on the clearly drunk man as usual.

“Sure he’s not and I’m stone cold sober.” He laughed, before turning to nod toward the others. “You bought friends? Almost enough to count as an actual audience here now. Let me know if any of you want a beer. My treat.” 

“Thanks for the offer, but you know I always have my own supply. Besides, I think I’m the only alcoholic in my crew.” Marcie winked, breaking away from the well meaning bad influence to rejoin her friends who seemed utterly horrified by the interaction.

“You hang out with a lot of creepy old men who like to get teens drunk?” Steve questioned whilst she pulled out her flask to mix a drink.

“Yes, actually. This is the Corroded Coffin fan club. Welcome.” She teased, breaking into a laugh at the way that Steve’s brows shot up. “You should really learn not to judge a book by its cover, Harrington. Terry used to babysit my mom. He’s one of the good ones. He’s still pretty well known for keeping an eye on the youngsters here. I got spiked a couple years ago and he took care of me until he could hand me over to Eddie.”

“By buying underage kids alcohol?” He questioned, noticing that even Robin was slipping her the side eye for this.

“As if you never drank underage.” She scoffed, before rolling her eyes at his judgement. “Terry’s policy is simply that it’s better to allow people to break the rules in a safe way, by getting weak, unspiked drinks from someone who will ensure they don’t get wasted, than to leave them to get taken advantage of by trying to find their own way.”

Clearly not entirely convinced by this story, Steve simply shook his head and glanced at Robin, who made a concerted effort to disguise how uncomfortable she was. Marcie shrugged it off as she led them closer to the stage ready for the show. After years of hanging out with Robin, she’d got used to having to remind herself that not everyone grew up in the same white trash environment that she and Eddie did. Things that seemed mundane to them were shocking to others and she had learned that most times it was easier to agree to disagree.

“I do appreciate you guys coming with me tonight. I know this isn’t really your scene.” She remarked, flashing them both a smile that seemed to at least partially calm them. “This place gets a bad rep, but it’s really fine. Most of the sketchy people won’t arrive until much later. And if at any point it gets too weird for you, we’ll leave. Okay?”

“I’d still rather if either of you wanted a beer you asked me.” Steve pointed out, earning a sceptical look from both girls. “You’re right. I’ve been drinking for years, but not through creepy old guys. I have a fake ID.”

“Okay, Mom.” Robin groaned, easily earning a snigger from Marcie.

The unexpected comment eased the tension in the group, and in little time at all Robin and Steve had already engaged in one of their usual spats. Marcie was content to sip on her drink, only half listening to their conversation as she watched the empty stage. 

There was a far stronger feeling of apprehension in her stomach tonight as she waited for the band to appear. As well as she had done until now, she was painfully aware that there was no time more challenging for keeping her attraction under control than when watching Eddie perform. No matter how badly she wanted to be here for him, there was something about him playing guitar that drove her absolutely wild every time. 

A couple of drunken cheers echoed around the draughty space, announcing the arrival of the band and as her friends finally stopped bickering to position themselves on either side of her, Marcie steeled herself. 

From the moment that Eddie stepped foot on the stage, he began scanning the area with a nervous expression. It only faded to a relieved smile when his gaze landed on her face. In an instant, she knew that she had made the correct decision by pushing herself to attend and couldn’t even bring herself to imagine how crushed he would’ve been if she’d missed it. 

With his confidence restored, Eddie moved to the front of the stage to get the crowd hyped up. It wasn’t long before the usual band of drunks were cheering together to the songs and even Robin and Steve found a way to enjoy themselves, as he returned from the bar with beers for the two of them whilst he nursed another cola. 

Marcie finished her drink rather quickly as a result of repeatedly catching Eddie’s eyes and being unable to withstand feeling as if he was singing directly to her. There was no denying that she would find the man attractive if he was wearing a garbage bag, but whilst dressed in his ripped jeans and shirt, his hair thrashing in the dim backlighting of the stage, she could have fallen in love with him all over again.

Eddie strutted the stage with a confidence befitting any rockstar, his husky voice blasting from the speakers and sending shivers down Marcie’s back. Just as she felt as if she could hardly keep her thoughts clean, he descended into an epic guitar solo that drew her attention to his hands. Watching the way that he worked the strings, the spotlights reflecting off his signature rings, she found herself biting her lip.

By half way through the set, she gave up on mixing drinks and instead took sips directly from the flask in an effort to suffocate the rising desire in her chest. Between songs, Robin bumped into her side and flashed her a concerned expression.

“I don’t want to kill your buzz, but you might want to slow down on the drinks, Marce.” She fretted, glancing to Steve for backup. “I know you can hold your liquor, but I’m starting to fear for your liver.”

“My liver has been well trained. Believe me, it can handle it.” Marcie insisted. “Besides, it’s all part of my tactic. I’m having a drink every time that I think of non-friendship thoughts. It’s helping me to bury them.”

“Actually, I think it might be bringing them out.” Steve argued and she turned to face him with confusion. “You’re totally giving him bedroom eyes.” He added, his accusation supported by Robin snorting with laughter.

“I am not!” Marcie gasped, whipping her head between the pair of them in horror.

“You kinda are.” Robin choked out between breaths. “You look like you want to climb up there and devour him. Why do you think he keeps looking at you?” She cackled as she necked the last of her drink and put the empty glass aside as if she didn’t ever want to touch alcohol again.

“It’s okay, Robin. We’re clearly imagining it.” Steve interrupted with an equally amused smile. “Just like the little bit of drool you’ve got right there.” He continued, pointing to the corner of Marcie’s lips.

“Where? Right here?” She crooned mockingly, before reaching out to punch him in the arm. “You two suck.”

♫  ♠  ♫

Eddie struggled to concentrate during the cleanup of their set. Though he’d been delighted to find that Marcie had attended tonight, he couldn’t deny the fact that her bringing Harrington along had gotten under his skin. Sure, it added to their usually sparse audience, but he couldn’t stand the thought that she might use one of their gigs as an opportunity for a date.

Then again, if that was the case then Harrington had absolutely failed to get her attention throughout the night. He held a smug satisfaction for the way that Marcie’s gaze had been glued to him during the entire set. Now that he thought about it, perhaps that had been the cause of his distraction. He felt somewhat strange for thinking it, but he could’ve sworn there was something different in her eyes tonight, something strangely resembling desire.

Eddie shook his head to dislodge the thought before it could settle, rushing to finish the job so that he could assess the dynamic between the pair for himself. It took longer than usual to pack up without his head in the game, but eventually they finished loading the van and he was able to re-enter the bar. He pushed through the crowd that had begun to gather for the next act looking for any sign of the trio, but was only able to find Marcie and Robin near the door.

Robin was standing protectively by Marcie, who was half sat, half leaned against a bar stool clutching her ankle. They both seemed in high spirits still, talking loudly and laughing together, but something seemed off about his friend that caused him to rush over to join them.

“Hey, Marce. Are you alright?” He blurted the moment that he reached them and Robin startled as if she hadn’t noticed him coming.

“Eddie!” Marcie breezed, turning to him with a familiar sense of delight that indicated she had been drinking rather heavily. “I’m totally fine. I might’ve just missed the step coming out of the restrooms and given my ankle a little roll. Fortunately, the whiskey has numbed all pain.”

“Unfortunately, she’s walking like a wounded animal.” Robin cut in, throwing her a long suffering look that hinted she had been the one to force her into a seat. “She’s sprained it, but apparently doesn’t think that should stop her from dancing. We’re gonna take her home before she really hurts herself.”

Eddie chuckled at her enthusiasm, especially when she stuck out her tongue at Robin. It was exactly the kind of behaviour he would expect from drunk Marcie. She was the kind of person who wouldn’t let anything ruin a great night, but judging from the heaviness of her blinks and the slight sway in her position, they were correct in deciding that the time had come to remove her.

“Getting high of your own supply again, Hells Bells?” He teased, a fond smile filling his lips.

“You know it.” She answered with a devious expression, opening her jacket to reveal the trusty flask he’d bought for her last Christmas. “You guys were great tonight. You really tapped into your rockstar performance. The way you handled that guitar-”

“-Had girls swooning. Other girls!” Robin interjected.

Eddie raised his brows in surprise at her flirtatious attitude, wondering exactly what she would’ve said if not interrupted. Robin made a conscious effort to catch her friend's attention, her eyes wide in warning as if silently instructing her to keep quiet. Marcie giggled to herself, amused by her antics.

Eddie opened his mouth to question how they were getting home, when the answer rushed through the door. Harrington seemed flustered as he jogged to Robin’s side, barely even noticing Eddie’s presence as he turned his concern to Marcie.

“I’ve moved the car out front, but security is only giving me a couple of minutes so we need to be quick.” He explained, looking sceptical of her speed when she stood and immediately winced. “Okay. You know what? Hold on.”

Without warning, he crouched to lift Marcie and threw her gracelessly over his shoulder. 

“Steve!” She squealed in shock, before releasing a slurred laugh as she dangled over his back. Eddie felt his temper rising at how casually he handled her and when Robin moved to wave goodbye, he couldn’t prevent the words from escaping.

“Woah! Hold on a second.” He spat, grabbing Harrington’s arm to hold him in place. “What’s your plan here? You can’t take her home like that. Her mom will freak.”

Whilst Harrington focused on analysing him, Robin appeared as if she had only just considered this problem. Eddie held his rival’s gaze, struggling to contain the need to rip Marcie out of his grip as he willed himself to use his words instead. His hands clenched at his sides as he forced his attention away from the places that Harrington was gripping her.

“He’s right. Her mom is cool with most things, but she’ll be pissed that she got drunk enough to injure herself. She at least needs some time to sober up.” Robin conceded, drawing the attention of Harrington who observed her with confusion. “I could take her back to mine?”

“Yeah? Your parent’s cool with your friends getting too wasted to walk?” Eddie questioned, waiting a few moments for Robin to shake her head in a defeated manner.

“I’m fine!” Marcie slurred, attempting to fidget out of the tight hold. “And perfectly capable of my own choices, thank you. Put me down, Steve!”

“She can crash at mine.” Harrington suggested, ignoring the squirming of the girl on his shoulder despite Robin’s obvious disapproval. “I’ve got a spare room and my parents are away. I’ll drive her home in the morning. No harm, no foul.”

“Absolutely not!” Eddie growled, his voice filled with an intensity that caused both of the people before him to flinch. “Look, I’m the one who lives closest. I’ll drive her back to mine, she can put her foot on ice, hang until she’s sobered up and walk back when she’s ready.”

Marcie’s friends turned to face him with scepticism, as if they were aware of something that he was not. They didn’t answer this suggestion for a few moments, instead peering at each other in silent conversation, until Marcie gagged from being held on her stomach and Robin grew tired of watching Harrington hold her captive.

“Steve, put her down before she pukes all over you.” She warned, reaching out to assist him in lowering her to the ground delicately so that she wouldn’t fall. “I can tell my parents I’m staying at Marcie’s and come back with you. You’ve still got a few movies from the store to catch up on. We can make it into a sleepover. What do you think, Marce?”

There was something about the way that Robin pushed this idea on her friend, gripping her shoulders to focus her attention, that didn’t sit right with Eddie. Behind her, Harrington gave her a meaningful look too, as if they were both encouraging her toward the decision. Though he was sure that their intentions were good, he couldn’t deny the feeling that she wasn’t being given a choice and couldn’t understand why they would blatantly ignore his offer.

“Guys, as much as I love your company between work and school, I think I’ve seen quite enough of you lately.” Marcie answered, her words bleeding into each other from the effects of the whiskey. “I want to go with Eddie. He’ll take care of me.” 

For a few moments, Eddie faltered as she turned her half lidded gaze to him with a dozy smile. His heart skipped a beat, hardly able to believe that she had so clearly chosen him and he couldn’t help returning her smile.

“If that’s what you want, then I’d be happy to have you.” He offered, relishing the way that her eyes lit up at his words. “She can take my bed if needed. It’s only a short walk home and Wayne’s working tonight so no one even has to know that she was there.”

“Oh, I’m sure her mom would love that.” Robin grumbled, her arms crossed over her chest as she seemed to struggle to decide whether she was more annoyed by his behaviour, or Marcie’s.

“Actually, she’s pretty cool about her staying out, as long as she’s kept updated. Just pass a message that she’s staying at yours. Her mom won’t even care.” He countered, noticing that Robin didn’t seem convinced. “She slept at mine when she got spiked, too. I know how to cover for her. It’ll just sound better coming from you.”

Harrington nudged her side, quirking his brow in silent question and Robin sighed in defeat as she noticed that her friend was still smiling at Eddie in delight.

“It’s her decision. She trusts him, she said she wants to go with him, so we should respect that.” Harrington muttered, barely loud enough for Eddie to hear as he leaned closer to check on Marcie.

“I parked at the back to load up the equipment. You gonna be okay to walk that far?” He asked in a hushed tone, and she rolled her eyes.

“I only sprained my ankle, Eddie.” She chuckled, shaking her head at his concern. “It might take me a bit longer than usual, but the fresh air will do me some good anyway.”

“If you say so. I just didn’t want anyone accusing me of not treating a lady in the way that I should.” He teased, winking at her and noticing that a rosy blush spread across her cheeks.

“You wouldn’t know what to do with a lady, even if you found one.” She retorted, issuing a challenge without even realising it.

“Fine. She’s all yours.” Robin announced, turning back from whispering with her conspirator and Eddie couldn’t prevent a smug smile from spreading across his face.

“Alright, my lady. Your chariot awaits!” He announced, dipping down to meet her before she could protest.

When he lifted her from the ground he made a point of demonstrating that his treatment of her was far more careful than Harrington’s had been. He balanced her in a bridal style carry, pausing for a moment to reestablish his balance from the additional weight before navigating only slightly clumsily out of the door.

“You’re a nutcase, Munson!” Marcie giggled in his embrace.

Her arms came to rest around his shoulders and her head nuzzled into his neck, as if she were hiding from the cold of the nighttime air. It was strangely nostalgic to have her this close to him, but he knew that he couldn’t show too much joy for this situation as he felt her two friends following closely behind.

When he reached the van, he lowered her into the passenger seat, taking extra care to ensure that he didn’t bump her injured foot and turned to find Robin lurking behind him as if she was waiting to check on her. In a bid to keep the peace, he stepped aside to allow them to catch up whilst Harrington seized the opportunity to grill him on everything he’d had to drink tonight to prove that he was safe to drive.

Stepping closer to the van, Robin leaned against the door to examine her clearly incapacitated friend. Although she knew that she had promised not to hold her responsible for the events of the evening, she couldn’t help feeling as if she had somehow let her down by allowing her to end up in Eddie’s care and for her own peace of mind, she needed to confirm one final time that this was the correct decision. 

“Are you sure you’re good with this, Marcie?” She asked quietly, her brows knitting together in concern. “I thought you didn’t want to be alone with Eddie?” She questioned, noticing that in her current state Marcie seemed thoroughly confused at this suggestion.

“Eddie will look after me! Eddie always looks after me.” She stated in a tone of minor offence, but seeming to notice the worry in her friend’s face, she flashed her an understanding smile. “I’ll be fine, Robs. I promise. I’m just having a moment of weakness. This isn’t your fault. I’m not mad at you and I won’t be tomorrow. You can go home.”

Though reassured by her surprisingly clear consent, Robin hesitated for a few moments longer until she noticed Eddie making his way around to the driver's side. She quickly checked her friend's seatbelt, then faced her with a forced smile.

“Alright, Marce. You deserve a night off from your heartbreak.” She breathed, despite a tightening in her chest. “But if he does anything to upset you, I’m going to take a page from your book and come after him with a baseball bat. Capiche?”

“Capiche.” Marcie laughed. “Night, Robs.”

♫  ♠  ♫

Eddie had his hands literally full with attempting to coordinate unlocking the door to his trailer, whilst also keeping Marcie upright. With only one hand available to grip her, he wrapped an arm around her waist and clung to her hip as she sagged against him, mentally willing the door to give him a break.

Unfortunately for him, the fresh air had only caused the alcohol in her system to take further effect and she seemed significantly more drunk than she had at the bar. Now he had her complete lack of inhibitions to contend with alongside her injury.

Without warning, the door swung open and they practically fell inside, Eddie barely managing to catch Marcie before she face-planted the floor. He paused to prop her against a wall, instructing her not to move before turning back to lock up for the night.

He was so distracted with the task that he failed to even notice her moving around behind him. In fact, he was practically completely lost in his own thoughts on his next move as he seemed to only just have considered how strange this situation was after she had been avoiding him for weeks. 

It occurred to him now that he might have scored the perfect opportunity to ply the truth from her, but a small, niggling part of him wondered if the truth was really something that he wanted to hear. Not fully present in the moment, Eddie turned slowly toward the living room and slid off his denim jacket, followed by his leather jacket, throwing them both onto the couch where he realised he would likely be sleeping tonight. 

It was only when he spun back to where Marcie had been standing that it dawned on him something was wrong, something he never would have imagined in a million years would happen to him. He froze to the spot, his eyes widening to an extent that he was sure they hadn’t ever before.

In the time that she’d been unsupervised, Marcie had dropped her jeans to the ground and stepped out of them. Her t-shirt was already making its way over her head, thankfully giving way to a tight silk camisole that protected at least some of her modesty. However, the length of this garment failed to cover the very small pair of black lace panties that were currently on display to him, cutting over her perfect ass in a way that made his mouth fall open.

Eddie wanted to speak, to say anything to interrupt her, but the words seemed to fail him. He stuttered the syllables, desperate to prove to himself that he wasn’t a creep, but no sound emerged. Instead, he found himself staring as she threaded her hands under the delicate straps of her cami to fish out a bra that matched the panties, throwing it onto a dining chair in a mind blowing method that somehow kept her breasts covered the entire time.

Unable to allow this to continue any further, Eddie suddenly sprung into action as he leapt forward to grab her arms before she could remove anything else.

“Woah, woah!” He cried as he hurried into her space and she startled as if she had only just realised that he was present. “Christ, stop! What are you doing?”

“Eddie!” She gasped in surprise. “Don’t be a perv! Get out of my room.” She slurred her words, but the annoyance in her face cracked some of the tension between them.

“You’re in my trailer, Marce.” He chuckled, before his gaze was drawn downward by her attempting to cross her arms over herself despite her complete lack of coordination.

Through the thin fabric of the cami, Eddie caught sight of something he knew he absolutely should not have seen. The smallest sparkle of silver was visible on either side of her chest, its placement easily translating to Eddie who had spent more than his fair share of time staring at alternative models in magazines.

Eddie’s mouth rapidly became dry and he struggled to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat. He willed himself not to stare, already noticing that his pants seemed tighter and he shifted his grip on Marcie to hold her slightly further from him. He strained to think about anything other than the undeniable nipple piercings she had that were wreaking havoc on his mind, tearing his gaze from her altogether before he could say or do anything that he would later regret.

“Fuck me.” He cursed under his breath as he released her to search the room for anything that could remove the distraction.

At the bottom of a pile of old clothes, he managed to find a practically vintage trucker t-shirt of Wayne’s that was several sizes too big. Throwing it roughly over Marcie’s head, he was relieved to find that it covered both the piercings and her panties, the length coming down to her knees on her thin frame. 

“Better.” He choked out in a voice that was obviously strained, but Marcie seemed entirely too inebriated to notice. “Come on. You need some sleep.”

“M’not tired.” She grumbled, rubbing at her eyes and spreading an exceptional amount of black eye shadow all over the back of her hand.

Despite already being stained with more substances than Eddie cared to name, he worried how his sheets would fare against this amount of dark makeup. Unsure what he would be able to supply to assist in properly removing it, he decided that it was better for her to discover tomorrow morning that he’d at least tried to meet her needs.

With a heavy sigh, he wrapped an arm around her waist to lead her toward the bathroom. Squeezing into the tight space, he leaned her against the counter and busied himself with searching for a clean washcloth. After soaking it under the tap, he returned his attention to her face as he attempted to push aside her unruly locks. 

“You have so much hair.” He remarked, pushing as much as he could behind her ears to prevent drenching her. 

“Rich coming from you.” She scoffed and he could only smile at this entirely fair retaliation. 

“Alright. Sit still. I need to get some of this war paint off.” 

Marcie attempted to argue with him, but was quickly silenced when he pushed the cloth to her face. Regardless of his best efforts to be delicate, he couldn’t help some degree of clumsiness in his movements. The more that he wiped at her skin, the more the makeup seemed to simply push around and when he rinsed the cloth under the water, he chuckled under his breath at the state of her.

Instead of revealing clean skin as he’d hoped, she now resembled a child who had been wearing face paint in the hot summer sun. Concentrating his energy on the black eyeshadow and dark lipstick that would undoubtedly get everywhere, he managed to remove a reasonable amount, but eventually had to accept that soap and water couldn’t hold up against the staining under her eyes. 

When he finished, he rinsed the cloth again of the murky water, before he was distracted at the sight of the only hair tie that he owned. He spun Marcie around to face the mirror so that he could go to battle against her waist length locks. 

“Eddie! What did you do?” She slurred, leaning closer to the mirror whilst he gently yanked her back by her hair. “I look like a panda!” 

“Pandas are cute.” He chuckled, but the moment he removed his grip on her when he finished his task, she whipped around to flash him an annoyed pout. “Only so much I can do with soap and water. I don’t exactly have many lady visitors, Marce. You can’t say I didn’t try.” 

Marcie moved to storm out of the bathroom, but lost her balance almost immediately and Eddie shook his head as he swooped her into his arms again. 

“Easy, Sweetheart. Let’s get you to bed.” 

It was a challenge to navigate the narrow halls of the trailer with her laid across his chest, but he stuck with it anyway, knowing that it would take far longer to herd her back toward the bedroom. He almost tripped over the mess of clothes on the floor, barging his way over to the bed where he lowered her down as if she was made of glass. 

Finally tired enough to stop fighting him, Marcie sank into place as he lifted the covers over her in satisfaction. Her eyelids began to flutter closed from the moment that her head hit the pillow and he couldn’t resist hesitating for a moment, gently stroking the hair back from her face. However, when he turned to leave, she startled awake. 

“Where are you going?” She gasped, gripping onto his wrist with as much strength as she could muster and he spun back around to face her with a fond smile. 

“The couch.” He stated in a nonchalant manner. “You can have the bed, my lady.” 

“No. I don’t want you to go.” She slurred, causing Eddie to freeze to the spot for the second time tonight. 

Her brows were furrowed together with stubbornness, as if she hadn’t imagined for a second that he would leave her until now. By stark contrast, he had been deadly serious when he advised her friends of the sleeping arrangements. Sure, they had shared a bed before, but things were different nowadays. He hadn’t considered doing that again tonight at all and the very thought caused him to gulp. 

“I’m not gonna be far, Marce. Just the other side of the trailer.” He chuckled awkwardly, but her expression was unmoved. “You’re really drunk and I’m trying to respect your space. I really don’t mind the couch.” 

“But…I don’t want to be alone.” She admitted, her determination giving way to a vulnerability that caused his breath to catch in his throat. “Please stay with me, Eddie. Like old times.” 

Eddie’s stomach flipped at her words, his mind struggling to decide what the moral thing was to do. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been in this exact situation with her in the past. He’d slept at her side when she got spiked, despite being sober himself, but that was mostly because he was afraid she might choke to death during the night. Then there was the night when the power went out and she ran to his trailer in fear of the storm. She’d demonstrated that she was comfortable with this arrangement before, but since she’d been avoiding him, he was unsure whether she would regret it in the morning.

He fidgeted on the spot as he agonised over the decision, but when his eyes met hers again, he felt his resolve begin to crumble. There was a sadness in them that he hadn’t seen before, something deep and hidden that made it almost impossible to deny her. He glanced back toward the couch again, before a defeated sigh left his lips. 

“Alright. You win.” He mumbled, watching as visible relief washed over her. 

Eddie switched off the light then removed his jeans, leaving his T-shirt on. He nudged Marcie to move her over so that he could climb in beside her, and was careful to ensure that he left plenty of space between them. It felt strange to stay so far apart, when they had spent the night snuggled into each other for warmth one winter when they couldn’t afford to heat the trailers. 

In the silence of the night, he stared at the ceiling unable to sleep. Where this would previously have been comfortable, he found himself feeling self conscious, worrying that he might have overstepped by bringing her to his home at all. The only sound to distract his wandering mind was Marcie’s breathing that grew steadily deeper and slower. 

Eddie couldn’t be sure how long they had laid there, when she shuffled closer to his side. Delicately, she leaned her head against his shoulder, one of her hands wrapping around his upper arm in a reserved embrace. Without thinking, he leaned his head toward her too, his jaw coming to rest on the top of her head and allowing him to breathe in the sweet scent of her hair. 

“I miss this.” She whispered, her voice barely even registering against the crushing silence of his bedroom. 

“Me too.” 

The confession escaped before he could stop himself, relieved when he felt her smile against him. Her breathing grew heavier still, indicating that she was battling against sleep and he debated whether it would be taking advantage of her condition to ask why she had been avoiding him. 

“I wish it could be like this all the time.” She admitted in a slow, sleepy voice and Eddie couldn’t resist the opportunity that she had presented him with.

“It can.” He muttered. “I don’t know why it ever changed.” 

“Because of the secret.” She slurred between deep sighs that almost sounded as if she was talking in her sleep. 

“What?” He questioned, his stomach dropping with nerves. “What secret?”

After a few moments without a response, he lifted his head to glance down at her, only to find that she had finally succumbed to her alcohol driven exhaustion. Eddie cursed under his breath. If he had thought that he was going to struggle to sleep before, he had no idea how energised this teasing comment would make him. 

He looked down at her dozing off, her face tucked into him as if it was the most comfortable place that she could be. It was the longest that he’d ever been able to stare at her, especially this close. Even with her hair messed up and eyeliner smeared down her face, he couldn’t help thinking how beautiful she was. It took a few more moments of admiring her before he acknowledged that a fleeting thought of kissing her at the back of his mind had grown to be all consuming. 

Wait. Shit! 

This was Marcie he was thinking about. The same girl who had given him wedgies when they were kids; the one who stuck chopsticks in her mouth and did walrus impressions; who almost got arrested with him one summer for a ridiculous firework prank and got sick on the waltzers at the last fair. She was his best friend, his partner in crime. He couldn’t ever risk doing anything to jeopardise what they had. 

However, he couldn’t deny what he felt as he noticed how peaceful she looked sleeping on his shoulder. He wanted to kiss her. 

Now that he considered it, it wasn’t the first time this thought had occurred to him. There had been numerous moments in the last few years where he had found himself wondering what it would be like to cross the boundary of friendship. Each time they had come close, it had been harder to pull himself back from the edge. The last time she slept over, he’d had to put himself through a cold shower after she left to try to clear his head. 

As hard as he tried to deny that anything had changed between them, he supposed it wasn’t unreasonable for him to have doubts. She was arguably the only person who he had allowed to get close to him in his entire life. She knew his darkest secrets, and he knew hers. They had comforted each other during the worst times, celebrated together during the best. It was inevitable that she would become important to him and it was only natural that he might wonder at the nature of their bond. It didn’t have to mean that he wanted more. 

Marcie shuffled closer in her sleep, her arm draping across his waist and he lifted his arm to allow her to snuggle into his chest. At this angle her head tilted slightly toward him, positioning her face exactly into the moonlight that streamed in through the window. 

In the dim light of the room, Eddie found himself utterly fixated on her lips. He was consumed by the thought of kissing her, acutely aware of every part where their bodies touched. Delicately, he reached out to tuck her fuzzy hair behind her ear, lingering his touch for a few seconds on her jaw. 

Her lips parted for a moment, a drunken mutter escaping that he couldn’t quite make out. His heart leapt into his throat as he replayed the sound in his mind and was almost able to convince himself that she had said his name. He watched as her lashes fluttered indicating that she was dreaming, only finding himself hoping that it was about him. 

Regardless of what he might tell himself, one thing was clear to Eddie at that moment: he had already passed the boundary of friendship a long time ago.

[twistsandtwizzles]

Stars on Mars: Episode 10

Welcome back to Mars! We are down to our final three episodes, with just seven celebrities remaining in this deranged “experiment.” Where did the summer even go?? 

(On a personal note, I entered into this recap project planning to only write recaps until Adam was eliminated, which I thought would be maybe three episodes, tops. Well, Adam played Andy Richter and he also played me, because not only is he still on Mars . . . I have somehow written more than 30,000 words about this ridiculous show.)

Last week: Lance sent himself home, which sent his closest remaining ally, Cat, into a bit of a panic and had her proposing an arrangement to Paul: “If you want to be Base Commander, I’ll nominate you. And I’ll be your mission specialist.”

Tonight, according to Shatner: well, you know how this goes by now. Twenty minutes of personal stuff and jockeying for Base Commander, fifteen minutes of mission time, and five minutes of mission fallout. This is: Starssssss on Marsssss.

Morning, Sol 15. The robot dog that was found in the vents last week is saying hello to the crew. “Did we give it a name?” Adam wonders aloud. Porsha asks what the smallest planet is, and is told that it is Pluto. (What’s Pluto’s status these days? Planet or no? I feel like science can’t decide. You’ll always be a planet in my heart, Pluto.) Porsha says they can’t just call the dog Pluto, and so dubs it “Plutoto.”

In the kitchen Adam asks Ariel about her “fleece booties” (most people just call those “slippers,” Adam) and Ariel explains that her sleep clothes are specifically chosen to prevent germs: pants tucked into a fresh pair of fuzzy socks, shirt tucked into pants. Everyone is a bit taken aback by this, Adam is especially shocked that anyone would sleep in socks.

Adam tells Ariel, “I feel like this whole thing has been probably really good for you, to push you . . . “ He pauses and searches for the right phrasing. “Period. To push you.” I like when we get a little glimmer of Coach Adam.

Ariel says in her confessional that she was a bit discouraged by being in the bottom three last week, especially since it was a challenge she thought she did well on, and that she is hoping to be Base Commander or Mission Specialist this week, because she does really want to stay in the experiment.

We get a cut of Plutoto the robot dog wandering around outside by itself.

Cat offers to make Marshawn and Paul some eggs. Cat throwing herself in with the remaining members of the Jock alliance makes for some good visual gags because she is a TINY tiny person (google tells me she’s not even five feet) and when she stands next to Paul (former NBA forward) or Marshawn (former NFL running back), it’s pretty comical. 

Paul tries to get Marshawn to have some of what he is snacking on, which is ketchup and mustard on potato chips. Marshawn is revolted. Paul makes the point that a chip is just a crispy potato and therefore not any different than fries. My sister used to dip her potato chips in ketchup and while I prefer a good French onion dip, I can confirm that it’s really not THAT bad.

Cat finds Paul and tells him again that she wants to be his Mission Specialist when he is Base Commander. He once again says, “okay.”

And so it’s leadership decision time again - the group gathers in the command center to figure out who is going to take the reins from Porsha. 

“Well, I would like to do it -“ Ariel begins, just as Paul puts his hands in the air and voices his interest in the position as well.

“Paul’s got two hands up,” Cat says, eager to throw her support his way.

“I’m the only one who hasn’t had a shot,” Paul says, as Cat nods along. “I would like to be Base Commander.”

“Why?” Porsha asks.

“I’ve been in the bottom two ever since I’ve been here,” Paul says. “I’ve had a chance to watch and learn from everyone, and I think I’m ready.”

Adam asks if there is anyone else who wants to throw their name in the mix, looking at Ariel. She softly confirms that she is, “but . . .”

“It’s all good either way,” says Paul.

Cat looks mildly panicked and starts to say “I think it should be Paul” but catches herself right before she says his name and instead asks, “Who else hasn’t been Base Commander, besides Paul?” Adam confirms that Paul is the only one who hasn’t done the role yet.

Tinashe has thoughts, mainly about Paul’s ability to communicate the messages he receives from Shatner. Paul says he’s fully capable of following basic instructions. 

Tinashe turns to Ariel and asks if she’s nominating herself. Ariel answers, “I mean I did nominate myself but, well, I mean . . .  we could take it as a vote?” (Google tells me that Ariel was born in Virginia, but I know midwestern behavior when I see it. That girl never takes the last donut in the break room, either, I’ll bet.)

Porsha hands out ballots. Paul and Ariel, as candidates, are not allowed to vote so we’re waiting on the results of five people.

Porsha breaks down Ariel’s strategy for us: “Ariel putting her hand up is just being smart - she knows what she’s good at, she’s not good out in the field … I would also want to be put at the place where I’ll look the strongest.”

Porsha counts the votes: one for Ariel, two for Ariel, one for Paul, two for Paul. And the last vote goes to … Paul. He looks satisfied, Cat is absolutely thrilled.

The group claps, and Ariel does a decent job of hiding her disappointment, even as her talking head tells us that she doesn’t have much confidence in Paul. I’m curious as to whether it is Porsha or Adam who flipped on Ariel - my gut says it was Porsha, who has done a good job of making friends all over the hab and not throwing herself TOO overtly into any one particular alliance. I feel like Adam’s loyalty to Ariel is too strong at this point for him to vote against her. 

As the crew leaves the command center, Marshawn picks up an empty bowl from the table. “Oh my god, are you almost about to clean up something?” Porsha asks. When Marshawn rolls his eyes and carries the bowl with him out of the room, Porsha gasps and calls other members of the crew over. Adam and Tinashe also watch in astonishment as Marshawn disposes of some garbage in the trash can and puts the empty dish in the sink.

Paul tells them they are being a little extreme, and Adam says, “No, you don’t understand. We should find a patch for that.” Ha!

When we return from commercials, Adam is folding some bedsheets and the Lady A.I. asks him why humans do that. Adam says his biggest nightmare is things that aren’t folded, and anyone who has watched any of his videos on instagram knows that this is actually probably true.

It’s time to assign base duties. Today’s duties include some biodome inventory and measuring out an enclosure for their robot dog outside. Tinashe and Ariel are sent outside to measure an enclosure, and the rest of the crew does inventory inside.

The biodome has gotten VERY green since the last time we saw it, and I’m relatively certain there are different plants in here then there were last time. But I’ll just play along and pretend that all of these plants have grown from seed since the fake poop mission. Cat and Adam are going through the plants while Paul mostly observes.

Adam tells us that at this point in the experiment, everyone in the hab wants to be there, and everyone wants to make it to the very end. He adds that he and Cat have worked together several times, and that he knows that she’s going to go “balls to the wall” to get to the end. Cat reminds us that she made a deal with Paul to be mission specialist, and she “hopes he remembers that.”

Marshawn and Porsha are inventorying the food in the kitchen. Porsha says she’s worried about the rations because “we could die” (again, I always appreciate commitment to the bit that they are actually out in space) and I have to compliment the editor for their immediate cut to Marshawn mindlessly munching on some food as he counts things in the freezer.

Adam comes in and Porsha informs him that “we’re gonna starve in about a day.”

Adam: “Cool. I’m ready.”

Porsha explains that they have no fresh food and Marshawn, exasperated and clearly saying this for about the sixth time today, says, “All the fresh food is in the biodome!”

Porsha tells the camera that she has been trying to avoid the biodome because it smells in there. (Also I want to note that each of Porsha’s talking heads this episode have been with a different hairstyle, so we are clearly getting some interviews out of context here.) Adam escorts her into the biodome where Porsha is shocked to see so many fresh vegetables: “We’re going to live!”

Meanwhile, Paul asks Marshawn if he’s interested in being mission specialist. Sorry, Cat. Luckily for the chef, though, Marshawn declines. “Hell, no. I’ve gotta be outside. Otherwise I’m going to lose my mind.”

Porsha walks in at the tail end of this conversation. Marshawn asks her if she wants to be mission specialist, and Porsha says it’s too early for her to do that, since they still have to get rid of two people. “Oh, so you’re trying to save that for an ace in the hole?” Marshawn asks. Porsha explains that strategy wise it makes the most sense to be in that safe role later on, when fewer people are on the chopping block.

“Porsha’s gonna do some shady ass shit at the end,” Marshawn tells Paul, over Porsha’s protests. As Cat walks in the room, Marshawn says, “I think you might just have to go to Cat, bro.” 

Paul still does not seem totally thrilled by this concept, but asks Cat if she wants to be mission specialist. She says of course she does, and says that she would crush it, and also that she showed her loyalty to Paul that morning by nominating him to be Base Commander. “Choose wisely,” Porsha warns Paul.

“What if I choose no one?” he asks.

“Then you’re gonna fail,” Porsha answers. Lady AI jumps in to confirm that it is required that someone be a mission specialist, and that she will replace Paul if he can’t choose.

Before commercials, we cut to more footage of Plutoto wandering around outside - and then falling into a hole.

When we return to commercials, Porsha (wig on, so this is likely old footage), Adam, Tinashe, and Ariel are reading Mars facts out of a manual. This has happened in several other episodes, as well, but I haven’t written about it in the recaps because random Mars facts don’t advance the plot and how long do these things need to be, really. I’m already far too verbose. But as we near the finale I have a feeling that these Mars facts are going to play into some final challenges, so it seems important to note that there is in fact a manual, and that these four, at least, have been studying it.

Anyway, the group talks about their interest in actual space travel. Adam wants no part in it: “I won’t even drive to Santa Monica. I’m not going to the moon.” They chat about the current going rate for a ticket to space. Porsha asks if there’s a groupon.

Emergency time! Shatner is here to inform everyone that their dog has run away and fallen into a “deadly Mars shaft.” The crew has to go rescue it, and they’ll get a bravery mission patch if successful.

Paul chooses Cat to be mission specialist, to her relief. Marshawn, Ariel, Adam, Porsha, and Tinashe head outside and pile onto the rover while Cat and Paul take their positions at the command center. Paul is told to direct the rover to their destination using the satellite feed.

Marshawn is behind the wheel of the rover and you can tell that the five remaining members of the original crew are having a pretty good time being all together on this mission. They chat about how they are basically going into this mission blind, with no information other than “find the dog.”

As they approach the last known location of the dog, Paul starts giving them directions that sound like this: “You are coming up on a right turn. Don’t turn. Keep going straight.” Marshawn asks for clarification that he is NOT supposed to make the turn, and Paul confirms that he should keep driving straight.

Of course, a minute later: “Oh shoot. You guys passed it. Turn around.”

Deep sighs from everyone on the rover. Marshawn turns the rover around and you can tell he is just having the very best time driving this thing (which is a little bit funny considering how furious he was about bumping into a rover a couple of days ago). He’s also, I should note, a good driver, and he takes care of his crew by warning them about turns and hills and when they should brace for bumps.

Paul finally tells them to stop . . . right in the middle of the road, with nothing on either side. You can kind of see where Paul is coming from - on his satellite, they are right next to the hole they are supposed to find - but the cave entrance is not accessible from the road, so the crew needs to backtrack even further. (If you are thinking this means that they have to make the turn that Paul originally told them not to make . . . you would be correct.)

Tinashe and Ariel both give talking heads about how Paul’s bad directions cost them a lot of time. Eventually they find their way to their destination, but only five minutes are remaining on the clock when they finally disembark the rover. (Ariel gets stuck trying to get out, to her embarrassment and the mild amusement of her teammates.) “Do not air that!” she says.

The group splits up into two crews: a rappel crew, and the search crew. Tinashe and Marshawn are assigned to the rappel crew - Tinashe will be the one rappelling into the mouth of the cave, where she will then throw a flare into the hole. This flare will be the beacon that Ariel, Adam, and Porsha should use to guide them to the missing robot dog.

Cat tells the search crew that they will want to stay to the right once they enter the cave, and Adam sums up their assignment: “Got it. Down the hill, turn to the cave, stay right, find the flare, get the puppy.”

There are three minutes to complete the mission. “Haul ass,” Paul says.

Adam, Porsha, and Ariel begin their sprint toward the cave while Tinashe and Marshawn get to work up top. Adam is FLYING down the hill, and is the first inside of the cave. 

Tinashe and Marshawn move slowly and steadily but are able to get the flare deployed just as Adam enters the cave. Adam reminds us that he has a terrible time seeing in the dark, but he continues on as Porsha enters the cave not too far behind him. “Where are you?” she asks. He stops and turns around so she can track him by the lights on the front of his suit. “Let’s go!”

They get slightly turned around in the cave, Adam bumping into a dead end in his attempt to stay to the right as instructed. Porsha and Adam are together but Ariel is still quite a ways behind - she trips and falls as we go to commercials.

Porsha spots the flare, and she and Adam jog together into the cave where the flare and the dog are just as time expires. Mission success. “Ariel, are you okay?” Porsha asks.

“Yeah, I just fell over,” Ariel says, as Adam and Porsha circle back and help her to her feet. Marshawn and Tinashe are celebrating by doing donuts on the rover. Cat and Paul congratulate each other - “You’re safe and I’m safe,” Cat says - and Paul is especially happy that he finally got a chance to “prove his worth.” 

The mood has gotten serious by the time the crew returns to the hab, as the fact that one of the original crew is about to go home hits everyone. Cat and Paul begin to figure out who is going home - Cat notes that Ariel fell and seemed to be struggling. Paul says that having Porsha and Ariel to do endurance stuff is a tough assignment for them. He notes that Tinashe rocked it once again, “definitely mission critical.”

“It’s never an easy decision as to who comes and who goes,” Paul begins, back on comms to the rest of the crew. “This first person showed tremendous bravery, and I’d like to give mission critical to Tinashe.”

We then cut to a few different talking heads. First, Adam: “I know that I’ve said that I’m not competitive but I am also I guess a huge liar, because I’m hoping I’ve done enough to be mission critical.”

Then Porsha: “It’s just simple. I was the one who found the fire flare, and I was the one who found the dog.” (This is both true and untrue - she and Adam were together when both of these things happened, and while she was the one to say she saw the flare first, they found the dog at the exact same time.)

Paul calls the next person in: “Because of the urgency and their taking control of the situation, Adam - come on in.”

Porsha says that this was a shock: “Adam deserved to be in the bottom three instead of me. Yes he hauled ass to the cave, but he did not know where to go once he was in there. And we could have lost the mission if I didn’t find the dog and the flare. So . . . it’s just factual.”

So this week’s bottom three is Marshawn, Porsha, and Ariel. Marshawn immediately starts picking on Porsha: “Oh, it’s your time to go.” She rolls her eyes.

When asked about why he should stay, Marshawn says, “I did the task that I was asked, and then, uh. You know what I mean? That’s what we’re supposed to do so that’s what I did.”

Cat is . . . unimpressed by this plea, to put it mildly. She looks at Adam and Tinashe and asks them what they thought about Marshawn not having a lot to say. They both agree that it’s just Marshawn being Marshawn. Cat tells us that she has concerns about Marshawn’s tendency to goof off.

Porsha says that she is mission critical because she was able to locate the flare and the dog. Paul asks Adam and Tinashe what they think about who is most vital to the team, looking beyond today. Tinashe says that she thinks Porsha is the most versatile person in the bottom three. Adam agrees and says that in the entire course of the experiment, Porsha has never let them down. Then he acknowledges that Ariel’s strength is really back in the hab, and that she is a little less versatile. Tinashe doesn’t disagree, but says that Ariel is a great communicator, very thorough, very decisive. 

It’s Ariel’s time to state her case, which I will just transcribe in full: “I’m not usually an emotional person, but like, I’m feeling a little bit emo so . . . basically, when I came here, I didn’t even think I’d pass mission number one. I’ve overcome a lot of things. I never thought I’d rappel down a cliff. But I loved being on this team.” We cut to Tinashe and Adam, who are both smiling at Ariel fondly. “I even enjoyed the missions in this stupid ass suit. But, as you know . . . I love the word fair. I was not mission critical today. And I feel like I deserve to go.”

“So, are you saying you’re ready to go?” Paul asks.

“Yes.”

“That sucks,” Tinashe says. “But I guess all I can do is respect it.”

And with that, Paul calls Marshawn and Porsha inside. They both give Ariel big hugs before coming in, and Adam tells us that he’s in shock. “In this mission, she fell short. But in my eyes she’s one of the most mission critical people in this entire experiment.”

He runs over to tell Ariel goodbye through the closed door. “We love you,” he says. Ariel is crying: “I’m so much more sad than I thought I was going to be!”

In her exit interview, she says that she got a lot of great friendships and personal growth out of this experience and that she’s really happy she did it. “Even though it was a little bit of hell.”

This elimination feels a little bit like Ariel quit before she could be fired, but I do actually wonder if she would have been the one sent home if it had been left to the crew to make the final decision. I guess we’ll never know!

And so we’re down to six. Porsha wanders into the living room where Marshawn and Paul are hanging out, and Paul asks Porsha if she really was the one who spotted the flare. “Yeah,” she says.

“Hell no,” Marshawn replies. “She lying.”

The three of them get in a bit of a tiff, Porsha telling Paul that he could have asked that question before he decided on a bottom three. “Bottom three isn’t a penalty though,” Paul tells her. She says she was just giving him a critique.

Porsha asks Paul what would have happened if Ariel hadn’t eliminated herself. Paul says, “You was gone” as he and Marshawn burst into laughter.

“Marshawn treats me like I’m his little sister, and Paul feels like someone I grew up with in high school or something,” Porsha tells us. “They can say whatever, but it’s a competition show, and I’m gonna beat your ass.”

Next week: with only six crew members left, a shake up! Lady AI informs the crew that there will no longer be base commanders and everyone will participate in every mission going forward. Plus a rescue mission for an unknown person or thing that has Adam looking delighted. See you then!

[1upm]

Time flows like glaciers or like rapids. Over moments, over memories.

I feel like so much life has passed me by.

I haven’t fought off sharks in the ocean but I’ve raced down Death Roads. I’ve rafted down the Amazon River. I’ve churned sugar cane with tribespeople. I’ve hiked a pilgrimage on the trail of the Incan Sun Gods, surrounded by ruins and the highest altitude lake in the world.

I've ridden donkeys across the pampas and drank and sang with gauchos by firelight. Gotten trapped in blizzards hiking into the Andes.

I’ve had magic happen to me and around me in Paris, living under a windmill, in secret gardens with Alan Watts’ old friends, in secret bars, at secret performances by the river. I’ve watched a wall of fireworks off rooftops in Hong Kong. I’ve sat for dinner and private piano recitals in Havana with leaders of the Cuban government, and swam in the ocean, sleepless, with the first rays of sunlight, godly.

I’ve driven across America, meeting cowboys and drinking with rickshaw drivers, hiking out of darkness and by starlight from atop mountains and out of canyons. I’ve slept and dreamt at the palace from The Sound of Music, watching performances on the same piano Beethoven's father played, while firewood crackled and echoed.

I’ve danced in ancient cellars, and explored abandoned manors by violet twilight. I’ve been chased by fire-breathing demons in a small Spanish village, lay down with an entire crowd to watch them on high wires.

I’ve had the most popular show in South Korea dedicate an episode to me. I’ve fallen in love in a speakeasy in Seoul, and had old fortune-telling machines tell us about it. I’ve ridden waves just below the surface of The Mediterranean. Hiked with Old World sculptors named after Greek philosophers, slept in the studio of an artist-saint in Vienna, and had him tell me about his secret conversations with Rembrandt, and the meaning of chasing the sun.

I've watched, incredulous, as the creator of the Midnight in Paris soundtrack showed up unannounced and played it for us in a small room — at midnight, near the steps themselves. I’ve pulled into Las Vegas on a Friday night, blinding lights rising out of darkness, surrounded by glamour, covered head to toe in desert dust.

I’ve skated the Rideau Canal at 3am, path freshly cleaned and reflecting every dim lantern light, with old friends and no another soul in sight, just our wide swooping strides, blades crackling against ice. I’ve watched triumphant, arms-raised gold medal finishes front row at the Olympics. I’ve been caught in black sky thunderstorms riding the world’s largest tidal bore, and ducked into active lithium mines in the world’s highest city. I’ve gotten stuck in the Bolivian salt flats and slept in a salt hotel. On another continent I’ve played soccer with locals in the world’s most cavernous former communist salt mines 30 stories underground.

I’ve helped paint old cottages on Lake Como, and partied with Paloma Faith and the xx in a rooftop loft in London. I’ve had Keira Knightley stare into my soul. I’ve controlled the lights on top of the Empire State Building, and stood alone on top of the Eiffel tower. Listened to jazz front row in the living room of a Harlem music legend. I’ve hosted five weddings, and been a Best Man twice. I've been in the right place at the right time to wander euphoric, swarming, celebrating streets the night they became NBA, MLB, and World Cup champions, high-fiving strangers. I've schemed with space hotel architects and TED speakers in a 250 year old victorian mansion on Halloween. I've been caught between coyotes and LA riot police, circled by the spotlight of news copters. I created technology and filed a patent to fix the Internet and try to save the world. I raised a million dollars from the first investors in Twitter, media barons — the ones Succession was based on — and White House deputies.

I’ve eaten enough for 5 people just to reveal an old myth in Provence, with a chef literally out of the pages of Peter Mayle. I was a student council president orchestrated through a battle of the bands. I won a national competition not intended for me by predicting the future of work in the year 2040.

I did pushups to save a groom at a Majorcan estate, and closed the dance floor with fire breathers and belly dancers in Marrakech. I’ve heard thunder echo for a whole minute while walls shook. I’ve arrived at an international airport 45 minutes to departure and made it after racing through traffic from a Studio Ghibli island.

I’ve developed black and white film in dark rooms. I’ve been invited to convince one of North America’s top design studios to recreate the metaverse. I’ve been chased by police during G20 riots and hidden in the attic of a pet shop, while an earthquake happened and the caged birds sensed it before we did. I had a ghost touch me. In sleep paralysis a woman quietly and calmly told to me how the rest of my life will go — and when I moved she became static like a radio. I’ve had movie scripts and short stories appear in my mind, fully-formed. I've seen planes float like boats.

I’ve stood in top secret ephemeral factory hangars to critique full scale clay models of cars 5 years before the world knew they existed, stood in towering noise isolation chambers, and hitched a ride with strangers to get home. I've seen machines taken apart piece by piece like a real-world exploded diagram spread over 50 metres in underground halls where phones weren’t allowed, and walked along cavernous factory floors as fully formed vehicles rolled off.

I’ve found myself presenting to Germany’s leading news anchor, and being served a secret pasta recipe by the godmother of the German news service, and touring the New Yorker's headquarters. I’ve packed rooms at the world’s top journalism conferences and had Google executives spy on me.

I’ve had the founder of Second Life make me tell the story of Canadian engineering rings in the Stanford faculty lounge. I’ve had a world class circus juggler, from a touring circus family, try to teach me in MIT’s infinite corridor, and send pins flying millimeters from either side of my head.

I’ve been threatened with jail by crooked State Troopers. I’ve had absinthe out of an ornate crystal fountain in one of Paris’ oldest bars, just as Hemingway did, while the grandmotherly owners sang La Vie En Rose, waltzing with patrons around us — and then watched a drummer transcend in an old dungeon near Notre Dame.

I've found myself partying elbow to elbow with the President of Microsoft at a personal set by Kaskade at a Chalet in Davos, while being served truffle pasta on the dance floor, with a Prince Harry doppelgänger. I’ve read poems from this blog, on stage, at one of New York City’s most revered open mic music and poetry nights — and danced through the streets of Manhattan for hours as part of a silent disco flash mob pub crawl.

I’ve lost a game of Werewolf to the founder of Wikipedia. I’ve had drinks with 3 of the Five Guys. I’ve played a tennis tournament final on the next court over from Federer. I’ve taken a colour sensitivity test at Renault’s design studios. I’ve danced, unprepared, in front of an amphitheater of people wearing a king’s outfit at a historic Korean folk village. I’ve jogged for 10 minutes with wires attached to my chest and then had to hold my breath for a minute while my heart was scanned — and told it was beautiful.

I tried to convince NBA players to give me money. I’ve acted as a tour guide in 3 cities, including for one of America’s dynastic families — because a stranger invited me to their executive box at an NHL game in another city the next day. I’ve had lightning strike the highway in front of me. I had waves crash around me at dusk at Giant’s Causeway, and listened to Enya float over real Irish cheddar while rain battered the windows in Galway. I’ve seen iconic MC rap battles in chip shops in London and partied in hidden rooms behind a sandwich shop in DC.

I’ve hidden postcards from the universe all over the world.

I’m 35. A New year is almost here.

There is so, so, so much more to see and do.

Heartstrings vibrating, eyes smiling.

[rainbowdelicsunshine]

Fav Hamtaro eps?

Honestly, I LOVE all the episodes from the English Dub! (Esp Jingle the Wanderer, Pop Star, Hannah is in Love, and The Legend of the Courageous Hamtaro)

And since I haven't finished the actual full series yet, here's my current top five!

Sparkle's Vacation

Sparkle in Love

Harmony's Love Magic

Summer Color, Solara

Ham Ham Halloween

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Thank you soso much for sending this in my good friend, it was really fun for me!

I hope I see you here again and have a fantastic day!!