#The Punisher Sorta Rewatch

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

[aptenodykes]

alright ren squad, who would you fan cast if our boy ever made it to the big screen.

My top 3 choices are:

Jon Bernthal (he’s got a toxic masculinity vibe that I rock with)

Ben McKenzie (He would have to grow his hair out + age at least five years tbh)

David Harbour (already has a few DILF characters under his belt, familiar territory)

[sluttish-armchair]

2:35 hours worked so far today…

15 Winstons traced overall (throughout the past five days); probably about twenty-ish corridor in-between slow-down frames drawn and rearranged.

I want to rewatch [redacted animator who also did everything himself]’s work again to study his visual distortions and camera angles so I can figure out how to make a 2D equivalent. I wanna do psychedelic stuff too

[g-xix]

Have you seen this?

HEY GIRL!

Sooo YES icl a few hours ago i got a tweet which referenced this - found this OG tweet you've sent + the evidence that Alice linked in that folder, used to prove that imallexx was abusive within their relationship

Ill be honest, I sorta read the first 10 or so pages of the 80 word explanation document, and the tldr i found on Twitter is worth sharing for those who don't want to read it all:

😬 From those accusations, i gotta say, that does sound very abusive indeed.

Making threats, physical violence, belittling... It's all very very poor behaviour, and somewhat of a let down, honestly. As a commentary YouTuber who calls out deplorable people online for their own crimes or mishaps (also often in relationships - cough cough calling out pdf files cough cough -) it does indeed feel sort of ironic and a bit saddening seeing someone who appeared as "self-aware" about the rights and wrongs of how to treat a partner...

Be abusive.

Because from that tldr which im assuming the proof supports, Imallexx was abusive.

Not only abusive, but also im willing to bet that making those threats are a crime, and domestic abuse is undoubtably a crime.

Will he get punished or face charges for domestic abuse though?

I don't really know, I'll be honest. Because with Wilbur, he commit a crime in terms of physically harming and abusing Shubble Shelby - with biting and alleged assault on his ex, Alice also.

Did he face charges though?

NO! Instead he's happily touring and creating music looking like fucken where's wally on crack.

No, really.

A where's wally on crack:

I am tangenting, back to the point.

It's horrid behaviour from Alex. Undeniably.

And I haven't read the whole doc so i cant say i know everything... But i wanna know what sort of person Alice is, too, before forming too many judgements on Imallexx.

Sure, I currently think Alex is abusive and has abused Alice. However also, I accept that this is all what I've seen and heard from Alice's POV. If Alex has clips of Alice doing the same stuff she's alleged, yk, physically assaulting him and making equally as violent threats, that'd undeniably change my view of the situation quite a bit.

So i think before i form too harsh or strong judgements, i wanna hear what or see what Alex has to say ab this situation, too

However as of now?

I think best idea is to believe or support the victim as best possible, until reason is given not to. Hence, the support for Alice.

I gotta say, it really is disappointing from Alex. I've watched a lot of his old vids, or rly liked his occasional cameos in a WillNE old vid, or whilst rewatching eboys vids... Ts is very glum just from a fan and viewer pov, all morality and other thoughts out the window.

Also a note, that a lot of my philosophy when it comes to this sort of "Influencer alleged of assault" does come from ArthurTV + This msg on Discord:

(referencing Lewis being an alleged groomer + ATV's response being to support victims but take everything with a pinch of salt)

So, Chaos Crew enjoyers and Imallexx fans around the Tumblrsphere...

What are your Thoughts???

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Ranting about the old Netflix Marvel shows:

Looking back at the original NMCU as a whole, while I think the general consensus is that this side of the MCU fell off when “Iron Fist” premiered, I think the real issue is more complicated then that. I think that the Netflix shows started off strong, but couldn’t implement their long-term plans for their side of the universe due to mismanagement/lack of collaboration. Oddly enough, the NMCU sorta reflects the current issues with Phases 4 and 5 of the mainstream MCU.

When you look at the shows overall, it feels like a bunch of creators were given free reign with these characters, and it shows. All of them had their own distinct identity, as well as what audience they were targeting. The problems started occurring when the shows had to start connecting.

I can’t say this for sure, but it really feels like no one was put in a Kevin Feige-like position to direct the overall journey. Instead, it feels like Jeph Loeb and Marvel Television (which was its own thing before being absorbed by Marvel Studios) just sorta mandated that the shows need to have a big crossover event. It made sense, especially since the Arrowverse was pulling this off as an annual thing with their shows. While it sounds good on paper, I feel like none of the teams behind each show were in sync with each other:

1) Daredevil didn’t really find a good way to balance the needs of the show and the needs of the crossover. Rewatch season 2 and you’ll notice that while the Punisher storyline feels more thought-out, the Elektra storyline feels jumbled and incomplete. In fact, the first 4 episodes are focused on Frank, and then all of a sudden, Elektra is pushed into the story. I can’t prove this but it feels like the original idea was to focus on Frank Castle, but then Elektra had to be introduced in order to set up “The Defenders”. Which was premiering the following year.

2) Jessica Jones didn’t even bother building up into “The Defenders”.

3) Neither did “Luke Cage”.

4) Although I have a ton of separate issues with “Iron Fist”, I do feel sorry for the production team. This show had the unfortunate burden of having to introduce its hero while also doing most of the build-up for the crossover. To make matters worse, if you read up on the behind-the-scenes development, you would know that the show was rushed out. Finn Jones was literally learning the fight choreography minutes before filming.

I have this funny feeling that Marvel Television set up the schedule for each show and refused to change it. Given more time, Netflix could’ve made it work. I can easily imagine the Elektra storyline being its own season of “Daredevil”, “Jessica Jones” and “Luke Cage” each having a season focused on the Hand, and “Iron Fist” being given more breathing room to introduce Danny Rand before diving into the crossover.

But let’s say Marvel Television didn’t want to make people wait that long for a crossover. Then they still failed to move the storyline of the shows in a way that could naturally lead into “The Defenders”. You’re telling me Jessica and Luke couldn’t have at least had a 1-2 episode subplot about the Hand? Or that the Daredevil team couldn’t have introduced Frank Castle later on in order to prioritize Elektra, who is arguably the most important character in the crossover? “Iron Fist”, while not a good show, at least tried to lead into the crossover.

(Side note: Just as a reminder, a common problem people had with the NMCU was that each season was too long at 13 episodes and that the shows didn’t have enough story to squeeze in. Jessica and Luke could’ve definitely worked in a 1-2 episode Hand stand-alone subplot to offset these issues)

I don’t mean for this post to take away from any of these shows. I still am fond of the NMCU. But looking back at it, I can’t help but feel that they were mismanaged. Good on their own, but since they had a crossover miniseries set up, there needed to be stronger collaboration between each show. Or, at least move the damn crossover if the shows weren’t ready for one.

[mamayan]

I’m writing a Yan!Feitan fic rn and tbh my heart is swaying as I rewatch the show.

I don’t see this man as anything but awkward, deranged (not delusional), and mildly violent/sadistic towards his darling.

I don’t see him wanting to torture them… at least not in a traditional sense of his norm. No, he’s an intelligent individual, albeit stunted in the emotional intellect category. This means he’s not just whole heartedly ignorant of his feelings, and I see him falling for a darling he respects. At least in one way of another. He’d be confused why he’s feeling the urge to be closer to his darling, or maybe even frustrated when he’s not quite grasped his own intentions, but he’d be quick to catch on. He’d realize and then he’d act. I see him coming to a swift conclusion.

He’d take his darling 100% right away no questions asked if they were considered physically weak in his mind (so not as strong as someone in the Troupe, but I could see his darling being a Pro-Hunter or something of the sort, but in his mind they’re soft lil weak baby cuz he’s just a monster).

Though, I don’t see him yeeting them into his torture chamber or even belittling them.

Why you may ask?

I believe Feitan is, and this is sorta canon too, a master in psychology (not his own, he’s a busy man, ain’t no one got time for all that). At least in terms of torture/extracting information/and coercion! He’s not suave like Chrollo, but he’s not unaware of what makes a person tick!

He’d certainly not put up a front like other Yanderes, no, he’d be himself. That is probably what makes him terrifying, because even around the people he considers peers… he’s a scary lil man. He’s quick to make his darling bend to his will, and he’d do it perfectly to fit his daring.

Darling is a little spit fire with a good right hook? He’ll force them to their knees before him with his fingers tangled in their hair/around their neck.

Darling literally cries when someone say’s they’re disappointed in them?Feitan will make them sob as he tells them how their behavior/actions is such a nuisance. He’d trigger them immediately.

He’s not doing these things because he wants to punish his darling for no reason. If he wanted to let off steam, he’s got plenty of access and lack of morals to go get whoever strikes a nerve with him and take their skin off. Why would he even bother on his darling?

I do see him making his darling watch his torture sessions, but not as a deterrent lol.

He 1000% wants praise and admiration from his darling. I can even see him mentally expecting applause or something dramatic as he manages to remove all vital organs from the inside of someone and still keeping them alive.

He’s a creep♡

Feitan also strikes me as cat-like. He’d go after an independent darling and then get upset when he’s given attention when he doesn’t want it… and when darling doesn’t give it suddenly wants it.

He’d strip that independence away immediately (unless his darling is fairly powerful in his eyes, I can see him being flexible in areas depending on darling’s feelings towards him).

He’d just awkwardly stand in front of his darling as they read on the couch- just blocking their view… staring down at them. Not speaking.

Awkward man doesn’t know how to initiate. Hoping darling does? He’s not gonna ask, probably won’t talk either.

Anyway just my ramblings. Fic will come lol

[inosukeslefttoe]

i’m pulling this shit out of my ass and all the emotions i’ve been having because i decided to binge devilman crybaby today. I first saw it in 2020 during the pandemic and decided it was one of the best pieces of media i’ve ever consumed. i was worried that my opinion of it would’ve changed by now BUT IT HAS NOT.

it honestly just such a beautiful piece of media,, i think i could talk for hours so i’m not even gonna mention the aesthetics and soundtrack and imagery and references and just focus on like. feelings.

THE CAT SCENE. became so much more obvious and important this time around. basically. akira is the cat and ryo is the one crying. we all know about akira empathy abilities and his weird “you’re crying too” when it seems clear that ryo ISNT and that he has no feelings. EXCEPT HE DOES !! he doesn’t know it at the time but deep down inside him is the ability to feel sadness and therefore the ability to love. tbh i think the reason he didn’t believe in either of those things at the beginning was because they’re both just so. human. ANYWAYS the way that akira sobs upon the cats passing despite the fact that he Knew it was gonna die mirrors how ryo cries for akira in the end. ryo knew akira was human and that he would eventually pass,, AND THEN HE EVEN FUCKING FOUGHT HIM TO THE DEATH AND KILLED HIM ?? yet he still cried over his corpse. and like ,, that literally makes no sense because HE KILLED HIM HIMSELF so why does he cry ?? why does he mourn this weak human that he knew was already dead ?? BECAUSE HE HAS FEELINGS. HE HAS STUPID MESSY IRRATIONAL HUMAN FEELINGS. OF LOVE AND HEARTBREAK AND SADNESS AND LOSS. and i think that might be part of what scares him the most. he lived his whole life thinking he was emotionless and superior and strong,, and as long as he had akira by his side to be the emotional one of the group he’d be fine repressing all his shit. but now akira is gone and he’s left to sit in his feelings and except the fact that he HAS them and that he’s a little bit more human that he thought. oh and also i just think that for someone who always talks about how the strong beat the weak etc etc ,, it seems a little silly for ryo to fall in love with akira who is the softest and (no offense) physically weakest baby boy out there. he literally had this coming.

the baton scene !! this one didn’t hit quite as hard as the cat scene but i still want to talk about it because i <3 repetition. i think it’s supposed to symbolize how throughout his life akira tried and tried and tried again to get ryo to feel his feelings and be able to give and accept love. no matter how many times he tried and failed, akira never gave up and still loved ryo because that’s what people do with those they care about !! and i think it just breaks my heart that ryo couldn’t accept the baton until after it was too late.

oh yeah and this is possibly my favorite development and new thought after my rewatch. um. so yknow how ryo doesn’t have any memories of being satan at first. i think that maybe this means that he could possibly not remember other things too. this might be a bit of a stretch but i feel like the point of being a demon or being trapped in hell is to yknow ,, BE IN HELL sooo ,, where i’m going with this is that i think that ryos hell and punishment from god is to be thrown into different variations of earth with different variations of humans and in all of them he finds akira and falls in love with him and only knows it until it’s too late. and THATS why akira/all the akira variants can tell him that he IS in fact crying, because they know with their magic empathy abilities that he DOES love them more than anything. i might be off but i love to torture myself <3 but like ?? it sorta makes sense especially with god rebuilding the world after ryo destroyed it. like what happens to ryo ?? where does he go ?? back to hell ?? back to earth ?? i personally like my little theory

i have never read the bible fully but i wanted to mention how i think it’s so interesting how all the religious imagery is like ?? flipped if that makes sense ?? like the imagery of akira vs ryo makes it seem the opposite of how it should be. and i wonder if this also applies to other scenes with more obscure imagery or references like the miko donkey scene ?? idk but i might look into it more. i think they did this because it’s supposed to show how nothing is ever truly black or white with humanity. emotions and love and sadness and just people in general are all so multifaceted and can’t really be explained with any exact science. by switching up seemingly obvious imagery and confusing the viewers a bit i think they show how everything is just on a huge greyscale

okay i think that’s it for now but i WILL update this if i have another thought

[spockvarietyhour]

The Punisher (2004)

[starbuck]

I’ve been wondering how many lashes Hickey ultimately got in Punished As A Boy and I’ve thought for awhile it might be 23 (aka the number of times Hickey stabs Irving in the chest in ep 7) so this time I counted and yep! It’s 23 lashes!

[firespirited]

Rewatched Donnie Darko yesterday (sorta, first time watching the directors cut) and it holds up. There's so much going on and I don't mean the tangeant universe time travel stuff.

The parents who love eachother and their son but who don't agree politically, the catholic school where books get banned that gets taken over by a binary fear or love philosophy guru, the apathy that lets a rich non minority kid like Donnie still fall through the cracks while his mental health is clearly falling apart unless he's being punished.

The fact that it's an anti authoritarian film about how non conforming people get crushed and how big politics and small town politics are reflections of each other that released just before 9/11.

The terrible psychologist giving him placebos and hypnotherapy and still only getting at something by just listening to him lucidly talk about his fears.

The creativity of the various characters from Frank's hand-made bunny suit, Donnie's drawings, Cherita's dance, Gretchen's resilience.

At the time, the time loop was that the US had elected another Bush. Now 40 years after its setting, the only things missing are the cellphones and the school shooter jokes. The horror is in how little has changed culturally, in schools, small town politicking.

I've always felt it didn't matter if it was saving the world or a dying kids dream, all that matters is that in the moments he had, he finds out that he wouldn't die alone. He is loved and can be loved even as strange as he is... And that's a very lucky place to be.

[veritable-trash]

Shattered Glass

Pairing: Billy Russo x F!Reader

Words: 1.3k

Warning: smut... i was uuuuuhhhh thinking... some things... the punisher does things to me billy russo does things to me i'm a mess on a monday i apologize(but not really:)) this is rougher than usual, choking, some degradation elements to be certain, but it's billy so what can ya do he's so sexyyyyyy to meeeeee

A/N: alright y'all my writing funk is not over but at least i did this! and i'm sorta happy with it... i do think there's some things that could be better BUT i wanted to put something out and this came a lot more naturally to me than anything else i've tried to start recently so gotta set this one loose. billy is hot just gonna put that out there and i was feeling a mmmmm vibe so to speak and so i wanted some freak nasty thirsty vibes with this man so hopefully some of y'all will enjoy! ok love you lots hope everyone had an ok monday and a beyond lovely week <333333 feedback is loved and appreciated even if you're mean <33333 i got time for it all <3333

p.s. i am currently rewatching the punisher because i am still very much going to be writing a multi chapter frank fic that will be long and a journey but I LOVE FRANK so this is just a little like heyo punisher is my new obsession beginning saga so i hope you enjoy fingers crossed :)))))

It was slick heat and humid air. Nails dragging along your skin. Clawing at you.

He made you sweat and it only made you want him more. Eyes jet black, hungry trailing down the lines and curves of your body as if he was appraising a work of art.

Billy was smooth like that. Silky in his movements, his tone, the way he carried himself. But there was jagged rocks hidden under the silk. Secretive and sharp waiting to cut and bite into your skin. Leaving you marked and raw, but craving his fingers to press deeper, push harder, make you cry out for him.

He sucked the air out of your lungs. Left you gasping, clawing for air all while he looked like he was carved from stone. It made you hunger for a reaction. Made you itch to make him snap. To shatter that perfect facade he held onto.

Because he cracked for you. Splintered into a million pieces while telling you how pretty you looked with his cock in your mouth. Shards of glass cutting you to pieces while he rolled his cock into your wet heat. Black eyes flaring into something feral when you told him only he could make you feel like this.

It’s how you ended up in his bed. Over and over and over again.

A text. A bar. A drink. His bed. Your bed. The bathroom. The alley. It didn’t fucking matter because the second his hands were on you it felt like torture and bliss.

Tonight it happened to be the alley behind the bar. Figures.

You look so pretty tonight baby. I love it when you dress up for me.

It started coy. You both knew he was going to fuck you. Was going to make you whine his name until you were leaking for him.

His thumbs dig circles into the plush, softness of your thigh, emphasizing the point.

He loves knowing you do it for him. Knows that you get pretty to try and make him sweat. He always noticed and it always worked.

You always smell so fucking good. I can’t fucking see straight around you, make me fucking lose my mind.

Cold brick digs into your spine, though you didn’t really fully register it. Teeth scrape sharp on your neck, catch on your collarbone. Almost distracts you from his hand crawling up your thigh, until he’s thumbing at your clit. Toying with you. You breath humid gasps into the air and he chuckles into your skin.

Open up for me sweetheart, let me see how fucking wet you are already.

It makes you keen. Makes you want to rip your nails into his skin, bite down hard enough to make him bleed just so he would understand how much he made you feel. How rough you wanted him to be. How much you wanted him to break you apart.

God I knew you would be dripping for me, so fucking good for me, such a little slut for me. I’m going to rip you to shreds.

Stars and sparkles and his fingers around your throat. The wet suck of your cunt audible over your whines, his thick fingers curving into you. You can feel his cock rocking into your thigh, hard through his slacks.

When was he going to fuck you? God you needed him to fuck you.

It was fucking hell because it was never enough. You bite at his lip pulling, yanking, needing to get him closer. The urge to eat him alive vibrating under your skin. You’d never been needy for someone, but Billy had you hooked.

Nails find purchase in this scalp, clawing at the back of his neck. His fingers rut into you, pull slick and heat and burning pleasure from deep inside of you. Have you curling into his neck, whimpering his name, tears staining his jacket.

My poor baby. Are you gonna cum? Are you gonna cum all over my fingers? I want you to. I want you to cum right here in this alley for me.

You almost scream. Gush onto his fingers, slippery and hot and still craving more. Bite into his shoulder until he groans, hips bucking into yours.

The way you clamp around his fingers, flutter and seize has him lightheaded. Edgy and needy to feel you clutch around his cock.

His cock is heavy in his hand as he pulls himself out. Running the tip of him through the wet seam of you, his already wet fingers coating him in you. His hand around your throat, eyes glued to his cock brushing against your clit, soaking in the way you whimper.

You can’t help rocking your hips into him. Yearning for that fullness.

He wants you to beg, wants to hear the hitch in your voice. The way you stutter every time he dips into you before rocking back over your clit. Teasing you like he wanted you to go insane. Like he needed to confirm every time he fucked you that only he could make your eyes glaze over.

Open your mouth for me baby. Yes, god yes, just like that. You look like a fucking picture, Jesus Christ, so fucking perfect.

He spits into your mouth and pushes into you slow, wanting to see how you react with every inch.

How your eyes flutter. How your tongue pulls him into your mouth. How he can feel your throat swallowing him down. His vision spots black as he jerks the final inches into you.

He pounds into you, hips rolling up into yours, pressing you deeper into brick you already forgot about. Your nails are on his back, his ass, drawing him into you, needing to crawl under his skin so you can feel like this forever.

You sound so pretty when you take my cock. Your cunt sounds so fucking pretty, so fucking wet. Only for me—fuck—only for me.

He’s licking into your mouth. His hand dropping to your waist, the other rolling over your clit, heating your skin. Pain and pleasure melting and weaving into each other. You can taste his moans rushing out of his throat. His words coating you in honey and glass.

He stretches and pushes and works you open till you’re a raw nerve. Till your legs are shaking and you’re gasping, pleading for something, anything. You don’t even really know what, but somehow Billy always knows.

Pulls you tighter to his chest, thumb catching your lower lip. Hips locked together as he grinds into you, deep and slick. His thumb breaches your lips, pushes against your tongue opening you up for him.

All he can do is stare at you, at the beautiful mess. Tear stained cheeks, glossy eyes, red lips, pink tongue, and moans that make heat spike in his gut. You whine around his thumb and he can’t breathe anymore. Needs you to cum on his cock more than he’s maybe needed anything in his life.

He breathes hot and heavy into your mouth. Whimpers for you as your walls start to tighten, pulling him deeper. His thumb rolls your clit one more time, cock stroking up against pure heat and you’re crashing. Clawing at his back, tearing at his jacket, at his hair. His mouth falling to yours, licking up the moans and whimpers.

You’re so silky and tight and molten and he’s losing control. Fucking into you harder as you pulse around him until he’s free falling. Cock pumping into you, filling you till he can barely stand, barely breath.

His face hides in your neck and you can feel the wetness dripping from you. He bites at your neck, light not like before, almost like he can’t help it. Needs to claim you even now. Even after he’s fucked you into next week, still needs to stamp his name on your forehead.

And you let him, because truly no one can fuck you like Billy Russo.

i know some people do like little taglists and things which is something i don't actually know how to do, BUT if anyone wants to be tagged you can let me know :) there's no pressure. also gonna maybe make a masterlist now since i've written a bit. ugh so many things to do ok love you have a good week <3333

[cluelessbees]

El and Mike — An Analysis (Part 1)

**I'm just going to put a quick warning. Yes, I am a Byler shipper. This post won't focus on Byler but will have references to it. This is merely my analysis on both characters and their relationship. If you don't agree you can scroll. This is all just my interpretation~~**

(Also these are all things people probably have said before but I'm just going off what I've noticed from my last rewatch).

This is split into several parts because I have a lot to say. At first I was going to break it down into El, Mike and then them together– but I'm writing out El's one and it's super long so I'm dividing it further.

Okay to begin,

El's Perspective:

Her Toxic/Abusive Past (And its Effects):

Throughout the seasons, we kind of see that El (when she was younger) didn't have a very strong understanding of what healthy relationship was.

In season 4, we can see through flashbacks that her 'siblings' were bullies. They essentially parallel Angela in how they target El. Not only that, but they're taught to compete. They are not each other's support but rather each other's enemy. We also see how Papa – her designated father figure – is super toxic and manipulative. He sees her as an experiment, and only praises her when she passes tests. Her mother was taken from her, and later shocked into a catatonic state.

This is my inner psych major coming out– but family dynamics are super important to how we grow up. When we're super young, we can't self-regulate our emotions– so we need the help of our family. They work as a support system. You lean on them, until you are old enough and comfortable enough to try and rely on yourself. Because, if you fail, you know you have your support system to lean on again.

One example would be if you wanted to go to a new city. You would probably be super scared (especially if you've never been outside your own town). You would, however, feel 100% better going if you knew your parents wouldn't judge you if you needed to comeback, but rather comfort and support you. That support helps- just knowing they're there for comfort if you mess up is enough.

There's a bunch of studies on this. Anyways-

El doesn't have that.

Her father figure when she was young would pit her against her siblings. He would punish her for disobeying (for going against what he wanted). There was no way she could be herself or try and understand herself in that space.

And this bleeds into her relationships with other people.

In Season 1, we see Mike take the role of her caretaker. He's the one housing her and caring for her. Problem is? He's a child. So he doesn't have the mental capacity or emotional intelligence to sorta care for her or become an attachment figure for her. He lashes out a lot– understandably so. Both him and El are valid in this situation.

But still, we can see it in how she reacts to Mike's outbursts towards her. She gets scared. She's worried she did something wrong. She was supposed to help them, and because she failed, she's worried she'll get punished (similar to how Papa would punish her). She keeps saying she's a monster and constantly overexerts herself to help them (and to not mess up).

It doesn't help that Mike, while yes he does care for her, is using her to try and find Will. Yes, Dustin and Lucas too. But Mike's the one is whose taking care of her. When he thinks Will died, he gets mad at her. When she accidentally hurts Lucas, he gets mad at her. Again, completely understandable. But it doesn't help that he's her only support system. It means more when he lashes out because he's taking care of her.

He's her family. She literally assumes he would be her brother if she moved in with the Wheelers because that's how she sees him– in a familial way.

What I'm getting at is, in season 1, we see how El's super toxic family dynamics sorta transfer onto Mike.

In Season 2, Hopper becomes her father figure- and in turn, becomes her caregiver. And, this season, we see a lot of times in which her and Hopper argue.

Why? What changed between season 1 and 2?

Well, she learned her worth. Yes, Mike wasn't the perfect support family, but him, Dustin, and Lucas all fought for her. They embraced her. They made her feel happy. She has something to fight for in a sense. She wants to see her friends again.

That's not the only reason though. She's also fighting and lashing out because she doesn't know how to self-regulate her emotions. She doesn't know how to cope with how she feels– so she lashes out. It's a childish thing, but she doesn't know anything else. She didn't get the opportunity to learn how to understand her emotions.

Back to the arguments.

Obviously, Hopper is also in the wrong in those scenes. They're both lashing out, getting angry, and saying things (or do things) that they know will hurt the other. But, the key difference is in the resolution. In the end, we see Hopper being vulnerable with El– sort of explaining how he feels the way he does and apologise about it. We don't see this from El.

And obviously, Hopper is the grown up so of course he should 100% be the one to apologise, but my point is– we don't really see El have a moment of understanding why she reacted the way she did. She doesn't reflect on her feelings because she doesn't know how. If anything, seeing Hopper reflect was probably her first encounter. Sorry to her at that point was literally just a way to not get punished. To avoid it. Now, it's something more. It's remorse. It's love. It's care. It's a way to show someone that you're sorry for hurting them and that they did nothing wrong.

Like damn, that was her first time experiencing that.

(We'll talk about the important Hopper-Byers family dynamic later).

In season 3, we see her learn and explore friendships and romantic relationships. Up until this point, El has only ever understood (and experienced) family love, the kind of love where someone is taking care of you (food, shelter, protection, etc.). She has only ever seen romance through the lens of film. And, whilst yes she experienced friendship with Mike, Lucas and Dustin, season 3 is the first time she experienced friendship with another girl.

Yes, there's a difference. Yes, it matters. (I'll explain why later.)

But anyways, here we see that lack of emotional understanding come back. El doesn't know how to communicate with Mike the way the other couples communicate (Mike too– but I'll talk about Mike and their relationship later). With El specifically, it's because she doesn't know how. She has to learn how relationships work through Max. She doesn't have an understanding of romantic relationships at all.

This is mainly because– what did she have to base it off of? She's never had parents in a romantic relationship. So, she couldn't see it through that. She isn't allowed to go out that much, so she only gets glimpses of Lucas and Max. She only really has romantic movies (which we know aren't accurate).

Why does she make out with Mike? Because thats what they do in movies. Why does she say I love you back? Because that's what they do in movies. (I'm always jumping ahead of myself- I'll explain this more I promise).

Hence why she just dumps Mike- because Max told her to. She doesn't know how this works, she's just learning. She hasn't gotten an opportunity to learn so she's exploring. She's trying new things because why not? How else would she learn?

We are seeing how having that emotional support allows El to feel more comfortable trying things out. She has Hopper, and now she has Max. She also has Mike– who we see support her more when she's being a superhero.

Point is, she isn't in the same stage as everyone else. She's still learning and exploring. She doesn't fully grasp what it means to be in a romantic relationship.

What's crazy is, again, we see her learn and witness emotional vulnerability and intimacy through Hopper and his letter. He opens up to her and explains his fears. He shows why he feels a certain why. He shows her what it means to open up- to communicate.

In season 4 though, things change.

First, El doesn't have Hopper anymore– or Max. She is in a new place– away from home. She's still grieving, she's being bullied, and she lost her safety net.

But she's also exploring herself more. She's understanding things better. She's trying to mix and match clothes to see what works– what screams El- who is El?

She's being thrown into the real world. She can't have nicer clothes because the Byers can't afford it– so she has hand-me-downs. She's in high school now so she has to face bullies and grades. She doesn't have the complete innocence – or more the naivety – she used to have.

Here, she's beginning to understand herself more in a personal level. And I feel it's here where we see her trauma come back. Yes, she has the support of the Byers– but she still dealing with a lot of changes and its hard (Not to mentions the Byers also are going through some shit). Not to mention she's experiencing the same things (aka bullying) that she did when she was in the lab.

So she reverts. Her insecurities come back. She feels like a monster again. She needs more reassurance because she can't self-soothe– she never learned how to.

When she fights with Mike– we can see her try to communicate, but she doesn't do it perfectly. She said it as a deflection when Mike tries to confront her about another issue. She becomes defensive and accusatory. Why? Because she's still learning how to be mature.

She's learning how everything works. She still has to learn how to self-regulate and how to communicate her feelings. And her being in a relationship– and trying to work on that and herself– it's just super difficult.

----

Okay, I'll probably post the second part right after this. I'll link it on this post when I do. It'll explore sorta El and her relationships a bit more in detail. Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading my rambles!

Also sorry for any grammar and spelling issues.

(Part 2)

[letters-from-eros]

Can I get some big brother chuuya hc with a little brother (or you can do gender neutral! Which ever you prefer!) that's also in the port mafia

A/N: I was rewatching AOT and realized Jean had Chuuya's VA today so yeah Chu-Chu content. This might be really really bad I'm an only child 😙

Pairings: Chuuya Nakahara x Sibling!Reader (GN)

Form: HC

Warnings: Probably shit writing, I haven't done anything in WEEKS

Beta-Readers: Wifey @bokuno-volleybabes

Mmmmmm Big brother Chuuya. Interesting.

Overall, he's a really good brother to you, I don't think you could really ask for much better tbh.

Yeah you two do bicker a lot, especially if you managed to be taller than the poor lil alcoholic, but it isn't constant unless you're the one provoking him

God the amount of SHIT Chuuya gives you if you're shorter OR taller than him god bless your SOUL, believe when I say 90% of your arguments come from the concept of height.

I definitely think hating Dazai is something that runs in the family, if it doesn't good luck having to hear all about Chuuya's hatred towards the suicidal bastard.

But!! If you do hate Dazai as much as your brother does, y'all would tag-team and roast his ass so bad he'd think he finally died and went to the fiery depths of hell. If he knew this was gonna be his punishment, he would've rethought his suicidal tendencies 💀

But anyway!! You working with him at the P.M, lets get to that.

Chuuya holds a ridiculous amount of loyalty to the mafia, and his work ethic definitely reflects said loyalty.

So he will get on you if you're not doing you're best, or just generally slacking off and neglecting the reports/paperwork that goes with working in the mafia. But like... He'll get on you super heavy while picking up like a third of your paperwork to do himself since he doesn't wanna see his little sibling stressed.

It.. Cancels out. He's an ass but you'll never forget about the fact he loves you lots.

Chuuya sticks his neck out for you a lot and isn't ashamed to let everyone know that yes he has a bias for his little sibling, the fuck are you gonna do about it?

But doesn't pull too many strings for you, y'know? The Mafia is a highly difficult job to have, and he can't have you going soft and lazy. (And this is all under the assumption you're not an executive)

But if you ARE an executive oh my god

You two would be working in the same office (either your own or Chuuya's, most likely the latter's) complaining about how much paperwork comes along with your position, probably while drinking wine too. Gossiping n shit 😭

Also, executive or not, EVERYONE knows to fear the Nakahara siblings.

Always reminds you when he's about to go out on a field mission. If you both aren't at the same place its via text, if you two are he's stopping by and ruffling your hair while telling you he's about to head out on a field assignment. It calms him down a lot plus it helps clear his head. He definitely expects you to do the same when you head out on missions, he needs to be in the know about that stuff and will get pretty upset if you don't.

God forbid you get hurt on the job. His reaction depends on how hurt you are.

If its just a few scrapes and bandages, he'll just chew you out about getting hurt and makes you give him a rundown about everything that happened on the mission, he's giving you his undivided attention.

If you're hurt sorta bad and put out of commission he's a muddy mixture of emotions he's not good at portraying.

He's scared because what if you got hurt worst than how much you already are, if the injuries were preventable he's upset with you for being so careless, plus he's angry with who ever caused you this pain.

Now... If you're in critical condition, Chuuya's literally seeing red. No one related to him is gonna be weak by any means, so its heavy stuff if you got hurt this bad.

His first instinct would be to get back at who ever hurt you if they're even still alive. But after Chuuya's after them, they're as good as dead. Afterwards, he's not leaving your side, he doesn't care if you're in a coma or what. He is not leaving you under any cicrumstances, this goes for when you're recovering too.

You two probably rarely get assigned as partners for missions, despite your relation.

I feel like Chuuya prefers going solo on missions ever since Dazai left the mafia, but if you seek him out to go on missions with you, he isn't all that against it. Always tells you "He's only doing this once" every mission because he's probably trying to build a reputation around him going solo but tbh he's coming with you whenever you ask 🙄

Its hard for him to say no to you a lot of the time, and honestly if you both start partnering on missions more than you're going solo Mori's gonna end up making you two official partners like he was with Dazai.. Chuuya's gonna be hella pissy about it, though.

Late nights researching about Arahabaki are.. Oddly personal. Its quiet and dark. The only things not making it a complete void is the illuminated screens of laptops the sound of clicks and scrolls. Maybe the occasional scribble of notes. But although little to no words are being said, its still an important time that just feels really vulnerable and personal, which is something thats usually difficult for Chuuya to display

...

He drags you to go shopping with him 💀 Chuuya lives by the rule "drip or drown" and gravity man REFUSES to drown

Dw you definitely dripped out too LMAO. If anything catches your eye he'll buy it for you knowing full well you can afford it yourself. Its useless to talk him out of it.

Shopping is probably how you both get your quality time outside of work, so even though Chuuya will semi-aggressively drag you out with him, its still a slightly pleasurable time 😭

Please don't get to arguing inside a peaceful designer store over whether or not some piece of apparel looks good or not, its gonna be hard not to but please...

People are looking at you two.

You're gonna get thrown out..

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 07 part two

(Masterpost)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Lantern Lighting

Now we have the famous lantern scene, where everybody gets to express their character and have dates, ranging from disastrous to delightful, with the objects of their affection. 

Wei Wuxian continues to be ridiculously good at drawing. 

We’ve all seen Lan Wangji’s lovely first smile in the show a million times, so...let’s look at it again!

This scene is important not just because of the smile, but because there’s a distinct shift in the way they talk about their growing relationship. In the pond, it was “come visit me” and “never!” “I want to be your friend” “No need.” Basically Lan Wangji firmly saying no to Wei Wuxian’s offers of friendship.

This time, Wei Wuxian says “let’s do this together” and Lan Wangji says “I’m used to being alone,” which is not actually a No, just an explanation. And WWX says, you can change that. And then Lan Wangji DOES change it, sharing the lantern and the promise with Wei Wuxian.

Whoever painted this flower is even better than Wei Wuxian at plein air painting. 

(more after the cut!)

Everybody’s wishes

Nie Huasang makes a practical wish. Wen Qing prays for her brother and Jiang Cheng notices how she’s like Yanli. Jiang Cheng isn’t very intense about Wen Qing, which could be a sign of his shyness but could also be a sign of his gayness or aceness. After all, later in life he’s an apparently wealthy clan leader who is hot as fuck, and needs an heir, since his nephew is a Jin. But he’s still not married, 16 years after breaking up with and uh, helping to kill and cremate, the girl he liked in summer school.

The Promise We Made Together

Wei Wuxian makes an ultra-idealistic wish/promise while Lan Wangji watches and falls the rest of the way in love with him, and silently makes the same pledge inside his head. Later they will each refer to this as a promise they made together, which is a really super high level of face-reading by Wei Wuxian, to understand that he really is speaking for both of them here.  While making this promise, Lan Wangji brings out his Yin Iron Magic Bag and waves it around in front of everyone, but nobody notices. 

Let’s take a moment to consider *why* this moment is so powerful for Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is a boy whose emotions are always on the boil. He’s 100% upset all the time, at this age, and he keeps it clamped down all the time. His cultivation level is probably as high as it is partly because of all the work he does in emotion regulation. (note: if you haven’t read all the meta at @howpeacefulislwj​ , go read it; it’s awesome and hilarious)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t GAF about emotion regulation; he just expresses what he feels, all the damn time. 

He is openly bored, lusty, playful, hungry, whiny. He straight up tells Lan Wangji “you’re boring and you have a stick up your ass” as part of saying he wants to be friends; no deference and also no falseness.  

And he can see right through Lan Wangji’s reserve, barging into his loneliness and isolation without any regard for all of his wards. Wards are made to be broken.

(Unrelated note: Young Lan Wangji's rare moments of contentment seem to come from looking at something beautiful--the moon, falling petals, these lanterns, his mirror.)

But Wei Wuxian is also good. Lan Wangji desperately wants to be good. And here’s Wei Wuxian embodying this awful, amazing, tempting alternative path, in which all the interesting things in life get explored thoroughly, all the sweetness and beauty gets consumed unreservedly, all the pain and ugliness gets confronted and endured without hesitation. 

In this moment, Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji “you can change,” and then offers up this prayer/promise that is just pure chivarly, speaking straight to Lan Wangji’s heart. Very simply, I want to spend my life doing right. Not 3500 rules; just one.

This infuriating boy, who breaks rules and who flirts indiscriminately and who pushes and pushes and pushes, reveals himself in this moment to be a hero at the beginning of his journey, and Lan Wangji sees it, and his heart goes right over the cliff.

The Girls’ Room

The girl cultivators all rush over to Yanli to get in her business about her betrothal, inspiring Jin Zixuan to act like a jerk to her and get even further onto Wei Wuxian’s bad side. 

Talk Shit, Get Hit

Yanli’s wish was that Wei Wuxian would grow up and be good. He promptly launches his own personal Sunshot campaign, punching her fiancee so hard that the sun falls out of the sky and the previously well-lit scene transitions to full night.

So, in English, “don’t mention it again” is really mild, akin to “I don’t want to talk about it.” Wei Wuxian’s reaction makes it seem like Jin Zixuan said something really shitty, like “don’t you dare mention that woman to me!” So I’m assuming something is being lost in translation. 

Lan Wangji tries to calm him down. He grabs Wei Wuxian’s sexy arm muscle and basically holds it until the Jiangs exit the scene. 

Nie Huaisang has placed himself between the opposing factions, which is unusually direct of him. In the future he’ll stick to being an unindicted co-conspirator when Wei Wuxian starts trouble. 

Ants in my Pants

Lan Wangji thinks kneeling can make Wei Wuxian cry, which is adorable of him. 

He really relishes this opportunity to be a pedantic tool to his new boyfriend that annoying boy he hardly ever touches, and it really doesn’t work out for him, poor lamb.

Jiang Fengmian stops by to show exactly how deep his affection for Wei Wuxian runs, and to give him whiplash from constantly changing parental expectations. In a couple of hours he’ll be laughing over WWX & JC’s hijinks.

Wei Wuxian takes this opportunity to fantasize about bad things happening to the other boy in the fight, which is in no way foreshadowing of anything.

Douche Dads Conference

We now convene this meeting of the douchebag council. Jiang Cheng is also invited even though he’s a prick, not a douche. <--important distinction

This is our first time meeting Clan Leader Jin Guangshan. He's actually the most sensible and best parent in this scene, but his smug self-satisfaction hints at his true nature. This actor, Shen Xiaohai, has been active in cdramas for a long while now. I wonder what he looked like 15 years ago?

...Holy mother of god.

Jiang Fengmian is the worst dad and the worst husband here. His clan believes in letting children do what they want - uhh YOUR child wants to marry Jin Zixuan. “I wrote a letter to her mother, who arranged this marriage.” Uhhh she arranged for her sickly, low-cultivation-level, sweet and vulnerable child to marry the heir of a rich and powerful clan, with a powerful mother-in-law who’s looking forward to loving and protecting her. Basically she’s guaranteed her daughter’s safety and comfort, and even potential happiness, since her husband may learn to appreciate her (and in fact, does, thanks to soup and repeated beatings from WWX).

Mom worked hard and probably spent a fair amount of social capital to achieve this. And you’re going to toss that aside because the boy thinks he’s too good for her? What the everloving fuck, how are you a clan leader in the first place? 

You can see that Jiang Cheng understands all of this and what a terrible choice his father is making here. 

So do the other adults in the room.

Jin Guangshen: our wives are going to kill us

Lan Qiren: I'm looking at a couple of dead men

Jiang Fengmian pointedly won’t listen to Jiang Cheng or let him speak, showing that all his talk about being free is actually bullshit, that only applies to other people’s children.

Jiang Chang vaults off of the deck to tell Wei Wuxian about it. Hottt

Sorry Sis

Wei Wuxian goes to Jiang Yanli to sorta-apologize and sorta ask to be let off the hook for fucking up her engagement, which he absolutely did. He knows it, which is presumably why he bows to her in paperman form while hiding outside.

At no time has Jiang Yanli indicated to anyone that she doesn’t want to marry Jin Zixuan, as far as I can see, or said she wanted to be defended from insults with punching. Look how good SHE is at defending a person from insults, for comparison.

Yin Iron Blah Blah Blah

The senior Lans meet with Jiang Fengmian  to talk about the Yawn Yin Iron. Yawn. 

Jiang Fengmian addresses Lan Xichen as Lan Gongzi, which is adorable, since he is a big boy to everyone else. His family calls him Xichen and other people call him Zewu-Jun.

Farewell and Fuck You

The three Jiang kids come to say goodbye.

Lan Quiren says goodbye with a heap of criticism for Wei Wuxian and the horse he rode in on, and Jiang Fengmian basically says, yep, that’s what he’s like, all right.  

Good thing Wei Ying gets so much verbal abuse at home he doesn’t take it very hard when he finds it in the field. 

Wangji doesn’t say goodbye properly, which will be a recurring theme for the two of them.

I don’t know if this is because he has a problem with goodbyes, or is just being a jerk, or because he’s so bad at lying he doesn’t dare talk to Wei Wuxian lest he reveal his travel plans. 

Indulgent Dad Continues to be the Worst

Jiang Cheng complains at Wei Wuxian for wanting to say goodbye to Lan Wangji, and WWX says he likes him because he is equal to WWX in fighting, whereas JC sucks. JC hits him tries to hit him--gosh, he DOES suck, comparatively. 

Yanli, who has been keeping these boys in line all summer, sighs deeply at her Dad’s tolerance for their hijinks. OP has five brothers and this sibling-hijinks behavior is 100% accurate, except for the part where it is happening at someone else’s house in front of the hosts. 

WWX pretending to be Lan Qiren where Lan Wangji can see him doing it, in front of Lan Qiren’s colleague and supposed friend, and just earning a laugh from the patriarch? Good lord.  Dad Jiang tolerating this is shocking, particularly in the in-show culture where corporal punishment is as common as tea. 

We’ve tried Nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!

Uggghh why are you like this?

Here in the real world, OP uses “positive discipline” with her child, and encourages other parents to consider it, particularly if your child is neuroatypical or asynchronous.  That said, JF should be punishing the crap out of both boys for this behavior every time it happens, or should quit being a clan leader.  He’s relying on Jiang Yanli to keep them in line while he gets to just be amused by them. And he’s letting Lan Qiren discipline Wei Wuxian instead of doing it himself. He suuuuuuucks. 

Lan Wangji watches all of this. Lan Xichen reminds Lan Wangji that without Wei Wuxian, he’s completely fucking miserable. Lan Wangji still doesn’t plan to bring him along on his trip, though.

Time to return to our lives of crushing loneliness

Rabbits

At this same moment when Lan Wangji is staring down the barrel of future loneliness, Wei Wuxian is already deciding to leave the (forbidden) rabbits in Cloud Recesses “In case Lan Zhan gets lonely.”  This small decision by Wei Wuxian - breaking the rules of Cloud Recesses for the millionth time - is kinder than he knows. Because what is the job of these rabbits? Let’s have a desaturated flashback. 

Lan Zhan spent 3 years in the ice cave. The rabbits kept Lan Yi company in the ice cave. So...did the rabbits sneak in to keep Lan Wangji company in the ice cave as well? I’m going to say yes. By ep 43 they are following him to the gate of Cloud Recesses so they are very attached to him.  Well done, Wei Ying.

Where my bitches at? Seriously, our warren needs bitches

(Is Watership Down still a thing people read? If not, just go ahead and assume all of OP’s rabbit jokes are about Watership Down because OP ain’t going to stop making them)

While Wei Wuxian annoys the bunny he has a flashback to the scene that happened 4 minutes earlier. The Untamed editors assume the viewership has the attention span of a goldfish, and I personally appreciate that they understand me so well.

Wei Wuxian figures out that Lan Wangji is going on the road alone, and tells the bunny immediately. The bunny is very concerned.

Writing Prompt: What do next-generation cultivators Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi wish for at lantern-lighting time?

[glassheartstonesoul]

rewatching ouat rant season 5 ep 11: IM FUMING LMFAO I HATE WHAT THEYRE DOING TO REGINA WTAH SOMEONE PLEASE GET ROBINS UGLY ASS OFF THE SHOW BCS HE’S RUINING EVERYTHING !! I love regina idk why the writers are making her so fucking selfish she never once thanked emma for FUCKING SACRIFICING HERSELF and turning into the dark one to save regina she never thanked emma for using her dark magic to save ROBINS BLAND FERRET LOOKING ASS and now when emma is about to sacrifice herself for the town (some of them i mean) INCLUDING REGINA regina’s fucking selfish ass doesn’t stop her and she turns down a goodbye dinner at granny’s to go be with ROBINS BORING ASS and to protect roland and zelena’s child instead of spending time with HER OWN FUCKING SON LIKE WTAF REGINA !!??!!!? and she literally shows no affection or thankfulness or basic fucking appreciation towards emma throughout the entire season even after emma did so much to ensure regina’s safety and happiness im so mad rn OH ALSO EMMA SHOULDNT EVEN BE THE ONE SACRIFICING HERSELF WHY THE HELL ISNT RUMPLE DOING ANYTHING like look I love him and all but the guy has nothing to live for atp he has no children no love interest no parents no power and he’s lived longer than all of the people in storybrooke it’s time for him to die he even said he deserves going to hell and being punished so he knows he should die the least he could’ve fucking done was offered to sacrifice himself instead of emma having to do it because she has parents she has a child she has a love interest (sorta) she actually has something to live for he doesn’t ugh

[pastafossa]

I'm not gonna lie... I'm very excited that you'll write for Frank Castle. The Punisher cast has a very special and sexy place in my mind ☠ A special shoutout to our baddie Ben Barnes who played Charlies father in Star Dust and now doesn't look anything like him anymore

I'm excited too! I legit love Frank, and I loved Jon's portrayal of him. He's also not a type of character I've had the opportunity to write with before so that's always fun! In addition to rewatching DD S2 I'm planning to go give him a rewatch on Punisher to sorta solidify who he is in my head. We're starting to find a rhythm though in my practice scenes, which is a good sign.

And yes, definite shoutout to Ben Barnes! 😂 I was showing Stardust to my mom last month and I'd totally forgotten he was Charlie's dad in that. I was like !!! ??? Even funnier now that they're in the same universe again and yeah, look nothing like each other now LOL.