#The Pacifiic Fanfiction

[myjelllybean]

Who's the dad

This is a Evan Buckley (9-1-1) fanfiction I have finally decided to post. It is the first or second fanfiction I have written in my whole life so this is probably bad. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it.<3

Summary: A few months after a one-night stand leaves (Y/N) pregnant, she unexpectedly meets the baby's father at a BBQ at her dad's fire station.

The blonde guy was hot, (Y/N) had to admit. His baby blue shirt lets his eyes glow in the most perfect way.

“So why are you here today?”, (Y/N) asked. They both had a silent deal: no name’s, no prying for information.

“Hard day at work”, the man answered. “You?”

“Hard week.” (Y/N) knew she was already drunk, but she ordered another tequila. In the afternoon, she brought her kids to their grandparents, Bobby and Athena. The reason she told them: I need the evening for drinking until I don’t even know my name anymore.

She knew drinking wasn’t going to solve her problem, but it would numb her for at least one night. It would make her forget the pain.

The man nodded, but she didn’t even know what she had said before.

They drank a few drinks together until both of them saw black spots dancing in front of their eyes.

(Y/N) knew it was wrong what she wanted to do know. She wanted to kiss this man. She wanted to forget why she was here tonight. She knew exactly how wrong it would be. How disappointed everyone would look at her. But screw it. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

She leant forward and pressed a kiss on his lips. It felt so right, but so wrong. It didn’t matter. The blonde deepened the kiss. The next thing (Y/N) knew was that they were in the man’s apartment. In his bed.

___

(Y/N) did her best to hide the baby bump – but it didn’t help much. Maybe she could tell everyone she has just eaten too much when they were in Europe. She hasn’t seen anyone of her family in the last 5 months. They didn’t know she was pregnant and they are not supposed to. Half a year ago she packed her stuff and drove away with the kids.

After her husband died and she slept with this stranger, she had to leave. She wasn’t able to stay anymore. She was ashamed of herself. How was she able to sleep with someone just some hours after Henry died? They weren’t always happy but she loved him. He had been her world. Until he was gone.

“Mommy? How much longer we have to drive?” James asked from the back of the car. He was the most impatient of her kids.

“Only around half an hour then you can finally see grandpa and grandma again.”

(Y/N) heard a sigh from her son and chuckled.

“Is there going to be cake? Is grandpa going to make pasta for us?” Cameron. She and James are twins and couldn’t be more similar. Both impatient and always hungry until they ate two bites and complain about being too full to eat any more.

“I don’t know. I have never been to a party at the station.” Nobody knew they were going to come. It was going to be a surprise.

Suddenly, Emily began to cry in her seat. The two-year old always slept in the car, but when she woke up, she always had a shock and started to cry when she noticed they were driving.

“Liv, can you please give Emily her pacifier?” The 14-year-old didn’t seem to hear her mom, as she had her headphones in her ears and scrolled through TikTok’s.

“Liv! Give your sister her damn pacifier!” Finally.

After two weeks in Europe, (Y/N) was already super annoyed. She tried to keep it cool, but it wasn’t easy to be with four kids and pregnant when she didn’t have her husband around.

___

Just a few minutes later, (Y/N) parked in front of the firehouse. She had been here before. Not inside it but she had dropped off her father a few times when his car was at the car repair.

“Ok! We are here! All out of the car!” (Y/N) picked up her youngest and followed the rest of the kids inside the firehouse.

She didn’t see many people downstairs, but around 50 people were upstairs.

“(Y/N)? Hey! You’re back! Where were you in the last few months? We tried to call you but you didn’t answer. We were so worried!” Bobby literally ran to her and hugged her as tightly as possible with Emily between them. “She grew up so much”, he said, reaching out to stroke Emily’s back.

“Yes. She absolutely did.” (Y/N) could see the worried and exhausted expression on her father’s face and immediately felt sorry for not even writing him and Athena a message that she and the kids were ok.

“May I introduce you to the team?”, Bobby asked after hugging the twins and Liv, who finally put away her headphones.

The 118’s Captain led his family to a bunch of people in uniforms.

“These guys are Eddie, Chimney, Hen and Buck.” (Y/N)’s breath caught in her throat. Fuck. The super-hot guy stood in front of her. With his uniform he looked even better that in his baby blue shirt he wore the last time. Why the fuck did she still remember what this guy had worn when they met in the bar?!

“Meet (Y/N), Liv, James, Cameron and Emily.”

“Hey! Nice to meet y’all”, (Y/N) said overly friendly, trying to hide the surprise, as well as Buck did.

“Grandpa? You have cake?”, Cameron asked Bobby.

“Of course. A party without cake isn’t a party. Come on, I’ll show you all.” Bobby led the kids away from (Y/N) and the team, over to the kitchen island on which many plates of cake were standing.

“’So… you are Cap’s daughter?”, a brown-haired man asked, who (Y/N) remembered as Eddie.

“Yepp, that’s me.” (Y/N) looked at Buck who looked just as surprised, as she felt.

“So, you are Buck?”, she asked him just as a try to build a conversation. She tugged gently on her shirt, as she didn’t want Buck to notice her baby bump.

“Uhm… yes. I am. Evan Buckley. So… these are your kids? You look quite young”, Buck asked and (Y/N) furrowed her brow until she realized, they haven’t talked about ages when they spent the night together. She was quite young for already having 4 kids. She had Liv when she was 16, but she barely told people, as she always got these judging looks.

“Yes, they are.” (Y/N) stared at the ground, unable to hold eye contact with the man she had a breathtaking night.

“Father’s not in the picture?”, Eddie asked and (Y/N) could see that Buck was relieved, that his friend asked the question, so he didn’t seem too suspicious.

“Um, no. He died 5 months ago. Car accident.” Instead of staring at the ground, (Y/N) now looked at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears, which always threatened to flow freely, whenever she talked about her late husband.

When she finally managed to make eye contact with Evan, she could see pain written over his face. Her husband died 5 months ago, around the same time, she slept with him. Had he been some kind of replacement? He knew they agreed to one night – no personal information, but it still hurt to know she didn’t actually feel the tiniest bit. She only had tried to compensate everything.

---

Around 3 hours later, in which the 118 got a small call once but came back after only one and a half hour, they all sat at the big table, because it was dinner time. Most of the time, (Y/N) stood on the sidelines, as she didn’t really feel comfortable around all these people she barely knew, and Buck. Nobody seemed to have noticed the baby bump which was covered under her shirt.

And now, (Y/N) even felt nauseous and had cramps in her lower belly. Her other pregnancies had gone quite well, except the last few months with the twins, but this pregnancy was terrible. She already had to go to hospital 4 times in the last 5 months, as she couldn’t keep anything down and had been severely dehydrated.

After only 2 bites, (Y/N) had to lay down the fork because she felt like she would throw up right away if she ate only one more bite. She had already thrown up breakfast and everything she drank today. She was lucky no one noticed she hasn’t eaten a piece of cake before.  

“Are you ok?”, the brown-haired man from before asked. Eddie? (Y/N) has always been terrible with names and couldn’t remember any. It took her 2 weeks to even remember Henry’s name after she met him, something he also made fun of, even years later.

“Uh yes. Just not feeling too great today”, she answered, trying to suppress the feeling to be sick. Her throat felt tight and her stomach felt like it was twisting and turning. The cramps were still present. She knew she wasn’t having a miscarriage as she once had one, and it felt different. The symptoms were pretty much the same, but she had another feeling. She had felt like something was missing, but this here wasn’t any better.

“You sure? You don’t look too good and you haven’t eaten much. Don’t you like the food?”, her father intervened now.

“The food’s great. Really. I haven’t been feeling my best today, that’s it.”

“Do you want one of the medics to take a look at you?” Bobby really seemed worried, but his daughter waved him off.

“Dad. Don’t make more out of it than it is.” Her dad made an acknowledging sound and (Y/N) thanked him silently with a small nod.

(Y/N) fidgeted with her hands, a nervous habit, she always did when she felt uncomfortable. Today, this many people were too much. She has never liked being around many people for a long time. She felt like everyone was staring at her and making fun off her or thinking of her as a disappointment when she did something wrong. Her kids were different, except of Liv. Liv came after her mom in these things, while the others luckily came after their dad and were the most social persons in this world.

Everyone looked at (Y/N), as she suddenly stood up, because a wave of nausea waved over her. As fast as possible she went to the restrooms, but only made it to the sink, where she threw up the bit of water she had managed to drink before. She rinsed her mouth and looked in the mirror. She looked like shit. Her skin was pale and her lips dry.

The door opened, and a woman stepped inside. She was around as tall as (Y/N) was and wore a wine-red shirt, that showed she worked at the 911 dispatch center. Had she been at the dinner table before? Or has (Y/N) just not seen her?

“Oh hey. Sorry. Just needed a break from out there. Who are you? I have never seen you here before. I am Maddie by the way. Chimney’s fiancé, Buck’s sister.”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. Buck’s sister?

“(Y/N). Bobby’s daughter. Nice to meet you.”

“Are you okay? You don’t look too well.” Again, this question. No, she wasn’t ok. But she didn’t say anything, so everyone should stop asking her. If she wanted someone to know she wasn’t well, she would tell.

“It’s okay. Just not feeling my best today.” Maddie nodded.

“Ok.” She didn’t pry further to get information, what (Y/N) was very thankful for.

“Soo. You are Bobby’s daughter? Athena has never mentioned, that Bobby has a daughter. She usually talks about everything.” Maddie furrowed her brow.

(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders.

“He doesn’t like talking about his private life too much.”

(Y/N) went back to the table, after she was sure she wouldn’t have to throw up again. But when she arrived at the dinner table again, she felt she was dizzy. Congratulations. First, she was sick and now she was dizzy because she didn’t drink or eat enough today.

She caught Bobby’s concerned gaze as he was looking at her, before everything went black.

___

“Heyyy! Here we go. You with us again?” She felt something painful on her chest and after a few moments she realized it was someone performing sternal rub to bring her back around. (Y/N) grumbled something.

When she tried to sit up again, there was a firm hand on her shoulder that kept her laid down.

“Damn, let me sit up if I want to. I am fine.” But (Y/N) noticed on her own how hoarse she sounded from being sick.

The hand suddenly disappeared from her shoulder, but when (Y/N) sat up, the hand was back at her back to steady her and kept her from falling over. Finally, she managed to open her eyes and caught look on the brown-haired man – Eddie. Evan sat directly next to her.

“We are just going to check a few things, ok?” All (Y/N) did, was giving an acknowledging sound from her.

The next thing she felt was a pulse-oximeter being slipped on her index finger and a blood pressure cuff on the other arm. She winced when Eddie inflated it and it squeezed tightly around her arm, which made her eyes well up with tears.

She had never liked the BP reading. When she was a kid, she cried freely as it made her arm feel like needles were jabbing it.

“Sorry.” Eddie was quick to deflate the cuff again after noticing the tears in (Y/N)’s eyes but she just shook her head to show everything’s ok. “BP’s 108/70. We are going to give you something to raise it again.”

“No! Wait!” (Y/N) frantically said. “I… I…” She made a sign for Eddie to come near to her so she could whisper into his ear without anyone hearing it. “I am pregnant but no one can know yet. I didn’t tell anyone.”

“Okayyy… I think we should go somewhere more private.” (Y/N) nodded agreeing.

Despite the other’s confused looks, they made their way to the locker room. Once they were there, Eddie began talking again.

“Has this happened before?”

“Yes, I already was in hospital because of it but it is just this morning sickness. I can’t keep anything down and it makes me dehydrated.” When (Y/N) looked to her right, she could see Buck looking at them but he couldn’t hear anything, right? He wasn’t as near and it was quite loud upstairs.

“Mhm. I want to hook you up on an IV if that’s ok with you? I don’t want you to be as dehydrated as you are now and I figure you don’t want a trip to the ER?”

“Yes, if that is possible, please.”

Only a few seconds later, (Y/N) could see her dad storming into the locker room.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” He looked kind of mad but also worried.

“Ehm… It is complica…”

“She is dehydrated because she didn’t drink or eat enough. She just wants to be alone for a moment and I can give her an IV,” Eddie intervened. (Y/N) shot him a thankful gaze and a tiny smile. She liked Eddie. He was really kind. She couldn’t think of any of her friends, who would do that for her.

“Mhm. Ok. I am going to call Athena. She said she would be here earlier. I’ll come back later.”

Bobby disappeared as fast as he came into the room.

“Thanks. For not telling him.” Eddie smiled at her.

“It’s not on me. And I think there are going to be better circumstances for that talk. How far are you?”

“5 months.”

“Ah. May I ask…”, he hesitated for a moment. “Is it your late husband’s baby?”

“No.” You didn’t know for sure why you told him, but he kind of let you feel calm and safe. “We didn’t… you know… the time before he died. We argued a lot. Had a one-night stand just a few hours after he died.”

“You know the father? Were you able to call and tell him?” Eddie looked honestly interested while he put an IV bag out of the medkit.

(Y/N) shook her head before nodding.

“I haven’t seen him… until today.” Eddie looked shocked and raised his eyebrows.

“Today? Is he here? At the station?”

(Y/N) nodded guiltily and looked at the ground when she heard Eddie chuckle.

“Damn, tell me more. Who is it?”

“Buck.”

“Buck?” The firefighter looked even more shocked than before and you nodded again.

“I didn’t know his name we agreed to ‘no personal information’. Why would I know he worked at my dad’s workplace? God… when he will find out he is going to be so pissed.” Eddie shook his head.

“Nah, I don’t think so. He will understand. And hey. You don’t have to defend yourself.” She smiled at his kindness.

She watched as Eddie swabbed the alcohol pad over the back of her hand.

“I would recommend to close your eyes if you are not good with needles”, he suggested. But (Y/N) couldn’t. She needed to see what Eddie was doing, even though she wasn’t good with needles. When the firefighter pushed the needle in the back of her hand, she let out a small squeal.

“Told you to keep your eyes closed but you refused to listen.” She heard Eddie chuckle. “Do you have any other symptoms I should be worried about?”

“I have cramps”, she admitted.

“Lower belly?” (Y/N) nodded. Why couldn’t she just have been home. She would lie on the couch and relax, but instead she was here, being poked and prodded by a firefighter.

“Can I take a look?” She nodded again. Eddie pulled her shirt over her abdomen and pressed his palm on different spots. (Y/N) looked upstairs, and froze. Fuck. She forgot that Evan was still standing upstairs, looking at the locker room. Looking at her.

Her eyes widened. Why had she agreed to this? Why didn’t she insist on being ok and went home? Why was she so stupid? She wanted to slap herself for not thinking.

Eddie seemed to notice her sudden panic, the pulse-oximeter, which was still clipped to her finger, chirped in high pitched noises.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. Deep breaths. What’s up?”

“B… Buck.” The firefighter looked where she was pointing at and sucked in a deep breath.

“Ok. That’s ok. We’ll fix that, after we are finished here, ok? It’ll be ok. Don’t worry. Try to breathe with me, the baby won’t like you breathing like that.” Demonstrative, Eddie took some deep breaths. “Do you know the gender yet?”

(Y/N) could tell that Eddie was only trying to distract her but she played along.

“A… girl. It’s a girl. Again.” She laughed. Her breathing became slower, steadier.

“That’s great. You already told your kids?”

“Mhm.”

“How did they react? Are they happy?” Eddie grinned at her.

“Y… yes. They are. James was a bit d- disappointed at first. H- he hoped he would finally get a brother t- to play soccer with.” (Y/N) smiled. “But the g- girls were all over t-the moon.”

The brown-haired man, put an oxygen mask over her face, which she tried to pull off, but his hand was immediately back, to hold the mask in place.

“Let it on, please”, he said with a look at the pulse-oximeter which was still chirping. “It’ll make it easier to breathe for you.

(Y/N) nodded, even though she hated the feeling of the mask, which made her feel the opposite of ‘easier to breathe’.

“Can I have a listen to the baby’s heartbeat?” After he had seen (Y/N) nodded again, he took the stethoscope and pressed the diaphragm to her belly.

“Looks good so far. The heartbeat is a bit fast for my liking but it’s nothing too concerning, just take some deep breaths, ok?”

“Copy, Firefighter Diaz.” (Y/N) took some deep breaths.

Just a few seconds later, someone stormed into the locker room. Buck.

“You… you are pregnant?” Buck hoped that (Y/N) would tell him it wasn’t his. That it was her husband’s.

“Yes.” She was surprised that her voice didn’t sound as high and panicking as she thought it would. She was scared. Scared of Buck’s reaction, which became even more clear, as the pulse-oximeter started to chirp frantically again.

Eddie took a look and was surprised how high the shown numbers were.

“Deep breaths”, he commanded her. But she couldn’t.

“Who’s the dad? Is it mine? Or is there a tiny chance, that it is your husband’s?” Even though (Y/N) thought something like that would come out of Buck’s mouth, she felt disappointment deep in her. She hoped he would not sound as panicked as he was now.

“Your’s.” (Y/N) fell silent, holding her breath in anticipation of what Evan would say now.

“Oh… wow. I have to admit that is a shock. Why… why didn’t you tell me? I could have been there with you.”

“I didn’t have your number, your address, your workplace. Not even your name! I didn’t even know if you lived in LA or somewhere else! What should I have done?”

Eddie put the oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, that she just put off again, but she immediately put it back to the floor. She didn’t want to breathe in the oxygen. It made her feel lightheaded and nauseous and gave her a headache.

“(Y/N)! Damn, breathe properly now the baby’s not comfortable anymore. Buck, I think you should go now and let her breathe a bit without the stress, this conversation puts on her.”

“No, he won’t go now! Not until this conversation is finished!” (Y/N) glared at Eddie. She wasn’t sure if that were the pregnancy hormones speaking out of her which have made her a bit temperamental these last few months.

“What do you want to do now? Buck? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want to be a part in the baby’s life? Do you want to be part in MY life? I need to know it.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Definitely the hormones which made her act strange at the moment.

“I don’t know exactly what I want to do now. But I don’t have a girlfriend. And I want to be part of the baby’s life. I want to be their father…”

“Her. It’s a girlie. Again.” (Y/N) could see Evan smiling a bit.

“Ok. I want to be HER father and spend time with her. And I think I would like to try to go on a date… with you. If you think you are ready. I liked you the last time we met, even though that could be because I had been really drunk that night.” Buck laughed and blushed a bit.

“I think… I think we can give it a try. I don’t know if I am ready for everything. But I do know I am ready for something. And maybe that could be with you.”

“Ok… uhm… great. And now you should really try to breathe properly with that mask. I know it’s not great, but even I can recognize how high your vitals are.”

She did as she was told. (Y/N) knew she liked Buck. He was cute. She wouldn’t have imagined to see a man like him blushing when talking about a baby and dating.

“I’m nauseous.” Eddie and Buck both looked a bit worried.

“Deep breaths. I think it’s just the IV and oxygen. I put some meds in the IV that should help with the belly cramps, that could make you feel nauseous.”

(Y/N) only nodded. She suddenly felt exhausted. The adrenaline of the day started to wear of.

“I think I’m gonna drive the kids home and we are going to relax a bit while watching some tv. Thank you for everything.”

“Wait. Stop. I won’t let you drive home alone. You don’t feel good and I wouldn’t like to know you don’t have anyone with you except you kids.” She nodded again. Evan was right. It would be stupid to not have anyone around her.

“I can come with you. Just if that’s ok with you.”

“Yes. That would be great. Thanks.”

“No problem. Shall we take your car?”

“Mhm.” She was thankful. She could really imagine Buck as a boyfriend. He is great.

---

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Evan laughed. He, (Y/N) and Liv were sat on the couch, watching a firefighter show, (Y/N) and Liv had been addicted to in the last few weeks.

“It doesn’t matter! This show is great!” Liv and Evan discussed about the mistakes in the show since around 10 minutes and it made (Y/N) smile. It was like a real family. Even though it hurt her a bit that it wasn’t Henry, sitting here. But let’s be honest: Henry would have never watched a show like that.

“That doesn’t change the fact, that you don’t use the saw like that. It’s just not safe!”

“Then just do not pay attention to the details.” Now, it was Liv laughing. (Y/N) hasn’t seen her daughter that happy in the last few months. She tried to cover up her emotions but it didn’t work completely. Her eyes started to burn and she felt a pressure building up. No, she wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Evan. Her daughter. No.

“I’ll go to toilet for a moment.” She hoped nobody would notice she was about to cry, but her voice gave it away. She sounded hoarse and her voice broke at some point.

She locked the bathroom door and sank down to the cold floor, where she curled up, leaning her back on the even colder wall. Her hand was rubbing circles over her swollen belly. Damn it.

(Y/N) knew she missed Henry. She knew her kids have missed him every second since his death. But she was scared. Scared that moving on with Evan would make her forget her late husband. She heard a gentle knock on the wooden bathroom door.

“May I come in?” Buck.

“Ok.” Her voice sounded hoarse. She attempted to brush the tears away but it really didn’t work. Her eyes were still read, as well as her cheeks.

She got up to unlock the door, for Buck to come in. After he stepped inside the room, he closed the door again. He sat down next to her, and (Y/N) leaned her head on his shoulder.

“What’s up?”, he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Nothing.” Evan shot her a look, that said more than a thousand words.

“This honestly doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I don’t want to forget Henry. And I am scared. I have never had a relationship before him. And I still have cramps. And I still don’t feel too good in general. And I am scared of giving birth alone. And I am scared of everything else in my life.” Buck looked at her with a concerned expression and immediately pulled her into a hug as (Y/N) began to cry again.

“Ok. So, we first go to hospital, because these cramps make me worried, and then we can figure everything else out, ok?” He pressed a sloppy kiss on (Y/N)’s forehead, and she nodded.

“Mhm. But you need to help me get up, the baby is in the way.”

[stuckinthe-2000s]

🌙 Agere Ask Game!!! ⭐

🖍 Who is the first person you told/would tell about your headspace?

❤ If you had a fictional caregiver/little who would it be?

🩹 What do you experience when you regress? (i.e fuzzy feelings, motor skill or speech struggle, etc.)

🧡 How often do you regress or try to regress?

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💛 What school grade (if any) would you be in according to your headspace?

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🧩 What was your first piece of agere gear or what would you want as your first?

💙 What's your regression/caregiving aesthetic? (kidcore, babycore, altcore, etc)

🍭 How long have you been apart of agere tumblr?

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🍼 Do you include your personal nostalgia in your regression/caregiving or are you creating new memories?

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🎨 What's a piece of agere gear that you really want to have/try?

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🧦 What's something you like & don't like about the agere community?

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🎀 Does your headspace match the gear you use/want? (i.e. regresses to 10 years but loves pacifiers)

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👾 What's the quickest way to get you in your headspace?

💭 What's one thing you often daydream about doing with your little/caregiver?

[jaynovz]

In discussions about the finale of Black Sails, one of the things I often see is folks hard-focusing on Flint's fate, in an either-or binary fashion, usually presented as "Which do you believe-- that Silver killed him? or sent him to the plantation?"

Now, for posterity's sake, gonna mention a few things-- first off, that's simply not thinking broadly enough. There are farrrr more than two options here and I've come up with my share of the reallyyyyy bad ones for sure. Whatever your mind chooses, none of those are happy endings anyway, there are bittersweet, bad, and worse endings all the way down. (They are paused, they are in a time loop, and also all endings and no endings are happening simultaneously)

But also, the more cogent point is that, it doesn't actually matter what happened *to Flint* The story is... not actually about him at that point. We have transitioned from Flint as protag to Silver as protag, setting up for (the fanfiction that Black Sails has ended up making of, ugh, king shit) Treasure Island.

And so, I just, don't find it to be of particular interest exploring what we think Flint is actually doing or if he's alive for real. What is EXTREMELY interesting to explore though is how Silver's speech at the end to Madi is sort of giving Thomas back to Flint as a pacifier/comfort object, but how... Silver is giving Flint that thing in his own mind as his own type of pacifier/comfort object.

That's the REALLY chewy bit. What actually happens to Flint is not the purpose of that scene for me, of Silver's recounting of events to Madi. It's more about... projection. It's about how Silver is dealing with whatever happened to Flint/whatever he did.

And I just feel like it's missing the point to focus so hard on if Flint is alive or not.

He is the ghost of the story regardless, that's what's important. He's going to haunt the narrative for the rest of everyone's lives. No one has been untouched or unscarred by coming into contact with Captain Flint; he has a forever legacy. I'm not the first to call him this, but he's Schrödinger's Flint and he's staying that way.

But this?

"No. I did not kill Captain Flint. I unmade him. The man you know could never let go of his war. For if he were to exclude it from himself, he would not be able to understand himself. So I had to return him to an earlier state of being. One in which he could function without the war. Without the violence. Without us. Captain Flint was born out of great tragedy. I found a way to reach into the past... and undo it. There is a place near Savannah... where men unjustly imprisoned in England are sent in secret. An internment far more humane, but no less secure. Men who enter these gates never leave them. To the rest of the world, they simply cease to be. He resisted... at first. But then I told him what else I had heard about this place. I was told prominent families amongst London society made use of it. I was told the governor in Carolina made use of it. So I sent a man to find out if they'd used it to hide away one particular prisoner. He returned with news. Thomas Hamilton was there. He disbelieved me. He continued to resist. And corralling him took great effort. But the closer we got to Savannah, his resistance began to diminish. I couldn't say why. I wasn't expecting it. Perhaps he'd finally reached the limits of his physical ability to fight. Or perhaps as the promise of seeing Thomas got closer... he grew more comfortable letting go of this man he created in response to his loss. The man whose mind I had come to know so well... whose mind I'd in some ways incorporated into my own. It was a strange experience to see something from it... so unexpected. I choose to believe it... because it wasn't the man I had come to know at all... but one who existed beforehand... waking from a long... and terrible nightmare. Reorienting to the daylight... and the world as it existed before he first closed his eyes... letting the memory of the nightmare fade away. You may think what you want of me. I will draw comfort in the knowledge that you're alive to think it. But I'm not the villain you fear I am. I'm not him."

This is the speech of a man who is self-soothing, who is spinning himself a tale, who is projecting, who is coping.

and THAT is just, way chewier, innit?

[doommommy]

At this point I don't think I could even *stop* picturing it rainbow if I tried

I can't express how much I love Pacify but I'll try. It's by far the most believable snarry fic I've ever read. And so well written and an absolutely beautiful story. It's amazing.

On my first read of Pacify, I automatically and without conscious thought, pictured Taz's confetti fire as rainbow. On my fourth read now, and it occurred to me that it could be plain parchment colored. Or even red/orange/yellow.

So what's the truth?

Just regular parchment lol. But the narrative belongs to the readers! If you want it to be rainbow, it's rainbow when you read it.

[nicksbestie]

Hi! So I have a request for feminine reader “coming out” to Johnnie as an age regressor and he just comforts her and cares for her <3 Really fluffy and sweet pls!

Hope you’re doing well 🖤

thank you so much for the request!! i hope you're also doing well <3 this is written in the third person, but the feminine character isn't named! it made it easier for me to write, i hope you enjoy! <3

Discovery

word count : 4091

warnings : mentions of anxiety and trauma , but no details <3

pairing : johnnie guilbert/reader (romantic)

<3

Johnnie liked to think that he was a good boyfriend, someone that people could trust, could tell anything. He wanted to believe that out of all people, his girlfriend trusted him enough to come to him when she wanted, or needed something. He knew he loved her, and he knew she loved him, but he still had concerns. Like the small, well, it was actually quite big, secret of hers that he’d just discovered. 

He hadn’t been snooping, no. He wouldn’t intentionally do that. However, he had noticed that one of his hoodies had mysteriously disappeared, and had simply been looking for it. He had checked her closet, and had seen it curled up in one of the corners, seemingly pushed as far back as it could be. It didn’t alarm him that it was there, sometimes things fall off of hangers and get nudged up under stuff. What alarmed him, well, alarmed may not be the best word, but it was the only thing he could come up with at the time, was the pile of items that were now visible when he lifted the soft gray sweatshirt off of the floor. 

Baby things? A pacifier, a few stuffed animals, a bottle, and some rattles and teethers?

Confused, would probably be the best word for the situation. His first thought was that she was pregnant, and just hadn’t told him yet, maybe hoping for it to be a surprise. That idea, however, was thrown out when he noticed the size difference of the pacifier in his hand, and a second one on the floor that he hadn’t seen at first. He picked up the other one, and realized one was specifically made for adults. He remembered a fanfiction he’d stumbled across a while back, trying to recall the name of what it had been about.

Age regression. 

So now he knew a name to possibly explain this, but he had no idea what it was really about, so he turned to the internet for help. The first definition to pop up was one from Urban Dictionary, and with lack of experience, figuring anything could help, he clicked the link. 

“Age regression is when somebody reverts to a child-like state of mind, often as a coping mechanism for things like PTSD, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Basically age regressors are more at-peace and worry-free whilst in "littlespace" (A term for when one is in said mindset). These people simply need breaks from the stress of being old and often have a childish personality even outside of regression (Though sometimes it's not as obvious). Contrary to popular belief, age regression is NOT a kink or even related to sexual intercourse whatsoever. Some age regressors refer to themselves as littles and to their significant other as "Daddy", "Mommy", or just as their "Caregiver" Since they'd typically take care of their "Little" as if they're an actual child.”

So his girlfriend was an age regressor. He didn’t feel any kind of disgust, or any type of negative emotion. Except sadness. Continuing to read the description, he realized that age regressors, or, “littles”, needed a caregiver to take care of them, and by the sight of all of her stuff pushed into a dark corner he had a pretty good idea that she didn’t have one. And that broke his heart, that his girl had thought he wouldn’t be open to taking care of her, even in a way that isn’t as common as usual. He deeply hoped that she didn’t feel scared of talking to him, like he would ever judge her or belittle her for something that helped her feel better.

He knew she’d dealt with a lot of trauma in her short life, problems starting at home and feeding into her adult life. She’d told him when they first began officially dating that she was terrified of having an angry man in a house with her, as her strained relationship with family did not help in the slightest. He had held her while she talked, tears had been shed, kisses on her forehead had been placed. It had been an emotional night, and the more he thought about it, the more childlike she had seemed by the end of it. There was no verbal change, but she had clung to him and not said much until she’d finally fallen asleep against him.

He slowly put more pieces together in his head. The cut up food, small snacks, juice boxes that she had claimed “were just easier to drink out of”, the multiple stuffed animals littering their shared bed, the comfort blanket that was always referred to as her “blankie”, no matter what. He smiled as he thought about the way that she had always stayed close to his side in public, clutching his hand tighter to signal that she was nervous. The way she had always relaxed into his side when he wrapped an arm around her, gently rubbing hers, the soft giggles that left her lips when he kissed her forehead and whispered a soft “I love you.” 

He wondered how long she’d been dealing with this alone, and how he didn’t notice. His heart wrenched when he thought about how rough overstimulation and sensory issues were for her to deal with when she was with him, making him not even want to think about her having to handle it alone. And not only alone, but in the mindset of a child, where she might not even understand what was happening, and by default, not know how to care for herself. He could see it far too easily in his mind’s eye, her, curled up with her blanket and a stuffed animal, possibly one of the pacifiers between her lips, tears rolling down her face as she feebly attempted to find a position, a feeling that didn’t hurt, something to soothe the bothersome sensations she was already struggling with. 

He was still in front of the closet, no longer standing, but instead sitting criss-cross, turning the items over in his hands. His hoodie was thrown over his shoulder, the smaller of the two pacifiers being held in his left hand. Peering at it, he could easily see that there was a small fairy on it, wearing a crown. The pacifier itself was an orange and pink color mix, the clear part obviously adjusted to fit an adult, telling him it was often used. Picking up the adult one, he softly ran his fingers over the beads decorating it, reading the lettered ones. He smiled when he saw that it read, “Little Princess”, the black of the letters strongly standing out against the stark white of the bead’s background.

Princess had been his nickname for her for as long as he could remember, even when they were just friends, back before mutual crushes were developed. He felt a small stir in his heart at the fact that it had meant so much to her that she’d put it on a pacifier, one of her most vulnerable things she owned. 

There was no hesitation in his mind when he turned over the idea of being her caregiver, just love that he didn’t think could grow stronger. He sat and thought of possible caregiver names. Mommy was definitely out of the question, but he was partial to bubba/bubby. But the only thing that he really felt fit was daddy. Daddy’s little princess. He just knew that she would blush dark red and let out those little giggles that he loved to hear. God, she was so precious. He hadn’t even seen her in her littlespace, and just the thought of it was so heartwarming to him. He already knew he loved her to pieces. 

She wasn’t home yet, and she probably wouldn’t be for an hour. That gave him about sixty minutes to figure out how he wanted to handle this. No, handle wasn’t the right word. This wasn’t a problem, this wasn’t something that needed to be fixed, it wasn’t something he was angry over. Those words should be included when he brings it up. He knows she’s anxious, and this might be a rough conversation for her. That reassurance is going to be incredibly important. Go about, would be the right phrase. He has to take some time to decide how he wants to go about this conversation. He’s going to have to be gentle, probably cautious, and she might panic. He’s going to have to softly remind her it’s okay, that he still loves her just the same, if not more, and that they need to talk about it, but that it is all going to work out. 

He takes all of the items, now known as little gear, and carefully places them on the bed. He leaves them there, along with her favorite stuffed animal and her blankie, and softly shuts the door. He walks into the kitchen, pulling up his notes app and opening the one filled with her favorite foods. It was now roughly 5:45, thirty minutes gone by, and she was expected home around 6:15. He easily pulled out some mac and cheese, currently the dairy free kind, but if she would rather the better kind, he can always change it. Slipping a new bottle of apple juice into the fridge, he figured it would have time to cool while he waited. 

He wasn’t entirely sure of what else he could make to go with the mac and cheese, but scanning through the list, he quickly took an apple out of the fridge, easily cutting it into thin slices and placing them on a paper plate. He placed it back into the fridge, wondering if the apple-on-apple part of the food would be too much. (He would later find out that it wasn’t, and she loved it. She also asked for animal crackers later, when she was fully in headspace. And it may or may not have been one of the cutest things he’d ever seen.) He watched the clock tick to 6:10, hoping she’d be on time. The mac and cheese was finished cooking, and he was easily putting it in small bowls, the colored ones that they’d always loved. 

She walked in the door at 6:14, face very clearly exhausted, an insanely long day wearing on her body. However, a genuine smile crossed her face as she noticed what was sitting on their counter. Her features softened, tiredness still evident, but love creasing her under-eyes as she smiled.

“Babe, you didn’t have to.” 

He crosses the room, tall body bringing her in for a hug, softly rubbing her back, softly placing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“You’ve had such a long day, I’m more than happy to make you dinner. We’ll eat, and afterwards, we can go cuddle, and relax for a bit. Does that sound good, princess?” 

Just like he expected, the pet name made her flush red, and a small laugh left her lips. He stepped back, both of them sitting down, him beginning to eat. 

“It’s dairy free, but if you’d rather have the other kind, I can make it. It’s no issue, I promise. I just didn’t want your stomach to hurt, especially not after you’ve done so much today. You need some rest, and I didn’t think that a stomach ache would make that easier on you.”

She sat there in shock for a few seconds, a smile still on her face. 

“No, it’s okay. Thank you, so much. I love you.”

“I love you too, darling. Why don’t you go ahead and eat, then you can change into some soft clothes, and I’ll lay with you for a while, yeah?” 

A nod in response, and in about fifteen minutes dinner was finished. He knew that dishes overwhelmed her, so he took care of it while he sent her off to go get changed, become more comfortable, momentarily forgetting about the stuff he left laying out. He didn’t recall it until about five minutes later, when he was wondering why she had gone so silent. He finished up the last piece of silverware, hurriedly throwing it into the dishwasher and starting the cycle, as he quickly got to the shared bedroom. He cursed under his breath when he saw that the door was not only shut, but locked. 

“Baby? Can you open the door, please?” 

He gently rapped his knuckles against the wood, patiently waiting for a reply. He got one in the form of a muffled “no.” He desperately tried to ignore the painstakingly obvious sob in her voice.

“Hey, we need to talk. C’mon, open the door, princess.”

The lock slowly turned, the door slowly swinging open. Johnnie walked in, noticing an empty bed, minus his girlfriend sitting at the head of it, tears pouring out of her eyes at a steady pace. He gave her a soft, sad look sitting down next to her and pulling her in close. 

“It’s okay, love. I’ve got you. Where’s all your stuff, angel?”

She shook her head, tears falling faster. 

“There is no stuff.” 

Johnnie gently ran a hand through her hair, softly shushing her, waiting for her to calm down a little bit.

“Honey, we both know there is, and that we should talk. It’s okay, I’m here. I love you, and I’m not leaving.”

She stifled a sob into his body, desperately wishing she had hidden all of her stuff better. When she’d walked in, she’d stood there in shock, and then quickly shoved it back onto a shelf in the closet. 

“Here, baby, will this help? C’mere, arms up, lovely.”

She brought her face up, noticing he had picked up his hoodie again, softly motioning for her to raise her arms up so he could gently pull the soft sweatshirt over her head. It didn’t make her feel little. Not at all. She ignored the soft, knowing smile on his face, immediately laying back into his arms, because as embarrassed and distraught as she was, she really needed some comfort. Even if it wasn’t the kind that she really wanted.

“Sweetheart, I know what’s going on, and you know that I know what’s going on. It’s okay, my love. I’m not judging you, I’ve always been here for you. And I am confident that isn’t going to change with this.”

He worried that he’d said the wrong thing when her body heaved and she sobbed harder, also clutching his shirt like her life was depending on it. She pulled back, gasping when the gray of his hoodie was stained darker with her tears. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He gave her a confused look, rubbing her back. 

“For what, little one?”

She looked so small compared to him, and he felt nothing but protective over her. Her tears had stopped, but distress was evident on her face.

“For getting your shirt, and your hoodie all wet.” 

He didn’t feel any type of upset with her, but her eyes were watering over as she peered up at him, tears threatening to spill over again.

“Princess, I'm not angry with you for crying. It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry for feeling your emotions, baby.”

A short sniffle was let out, him immediately pressing another kiss to her head. 

“You weren’t supposed to find out like this.” 

“Shh, honey. Deep breaths. Let’s talk, yeah?”

A nod into his chest, but no more spoken words, so he took it upon himself to start the conversation. 

“Alright, princess. I’ll talk, you listen. Just try to even out your breathing, you can interject if you need to. I found all your stuff when I was looking for my hoodie. I would never go to snoop and invade your privacy like that. I feel like that’s important to mention, just so you’re fully aware that I did not intend to scare you by looking for this. Secondly, I know what’s going on, thanks to some research, and I can’t imagine how hard this must have been for you to handle alone.” 

A soft, but confirming, noise elicited from the girl curled up against his chest. 

“That being said, I know you don’t have a caregiver. Can you look at me, angel?” 

Her eyes were still teary, but she raised her head to make eye contact, and he cradled her face in his hands. He pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, getting a small smile out of her. It didn’t reach her eyes, but it was better than the semi-permanent frown she’d been wearing. 

“I love you, baby, you know that. I hope that you also know I would do anything for you. Anything at all. Do you want me to be your daddy, little one?” 

A sob tore from the back of her throat, making Johnnie believe he’d said the wrong thing… again. But his fears were calmed quickly this time, when she sucked in a breath, clearly speaking out a “yes”, before dissolving back into cries. He didn’t hesitate to resume comforting her, whispering soft praise and loving words, waiting until her cries slowed into hiccups and gasping breaths, before speaking again. 

“You’ve had such a long day, princess. Why don’t I go run you a bath, hm? I’ll even put bubbles in it, if that’s something you want, and I’ll wash your hair.”

She nodded, but her grip on Johnnie, her daddy, (she was still reeling with the new happiness), didn’t let up. He kissed her once more, helping her wrap her legs around his waist, looping his arms under them, and lifting her. She gently rested her head on his shoulder, refusing to acknowledge just how tiny she felt right now as her thumb slowly began to make its way to her mouth. However, it only took about three seconds for Johnnie to notice, and softly pull it away.

“No, baby, let’s not suck on our thumbs. How about we go grab your paci, sweetheart?” 

He easily moved towards the closet, quickly locating the missing items, grabbing the bigger of the two pacifiers off of the shelf, and gently pushing it into her mouth.  

“Much better, baby girl. You look so adorable, don’t you? Daddy’s little princess.” 

Her arms were now wrapped around his neck, head resting on his shoulder, blush rising furiously to her cheeks as she could feel herself easily slipping into littlespace. 

Why was he so good at this? Maybe it was the gentleness, the softness, but either way, he was so effortlessly coaxing her into headspace. She’d never felt safer than she did right now, and she desperately hoped that she would have this for a long time. 

She didn’t know it, but Johnnie was thinking the exact same thing. She looked so happy, so comfortable, that he wanted to keep her there forever. He took a small amount of pride in being trusted with this, but even more happiness in being the reason she feels safe. 

“It’s okay, angel. I know you’re slipping. Shh, sweetpea, let it happen. Daddy’s got you.”

He loved this girl with his whole heart, and this new side of her didn’t affect that at all. He started a bath, checking the temperature on the inside of his wrist multiple times before softly helping her undress and letting her hold his arm and shoulder to sit herself in the tub. Quickly folding up her clothes and setting them on the side, he stepped out solely to throw a towel in the dryer with some fabric softener, setting it on 20 minutes, and to grab one of the bath toys he’d noticed but not set out previously. 

“Look what I got, bubba! Why don’t you play with this while Daddy washes your hair? Paint me a pretty picture, okay?” 

He gently handed her the set of bath paints, before grabbing the plastic cup he kept in the bathroom. He filled it up with water, pressing his hand along her head to keep the water from going in her eyes as he softly wet her hair. He looked down to see her intensely focused on the colors that were now decorating the bathtub wall, and couldn’t stop the smile crossing his face. He gently shampooed her hair, making sure to keep it out of her eyes as he washed it out, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she took a break from painting and leaned into his touch.

“Alright, sweetie, I’m all done! Wow, that is absolutely beautiful, baby!”

A huge grin spread across her face, now, as she brandished the paintbrush at him, getting a little bit of yellow on the end of his nose. 

“It us, daddy!”

He looked at the artwork, seeing two stick figures holding hands, a blotch of yellow as the sun, and some green for grass. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of it, immediately adding it to his favorites. 

“It’s perfect, angel. C’mon, sweetheart, let’s get out, so we can get some cuddles in before bedtime!” 

Just as expected, a pout formed on her face as the painting was slowly washed away, and the paint on his nose was wiped off.

“It’s okay, princess, Daddy has a picture so he can cherish it forever. Now, tomorrow, when it’s bath time, you can paint me a new one!”

That put a smile back on her face. He grabbed the soft, and warm, towel out of the dryer, wrapping her in it and softly toweling her dry. Grabbing the clothes she’d put on just two hours before, he gently helped her redress, scooping her up and placing her on the sink counter. He bracketed her body with his own so that she wouldn’t fall, setting up her toothbrush for her. 

“I’ll dry your hair while you brush your teeth, okay little one? Let me know if you need some help, princess.” 

Plugging in the hair dryer and being very careful to not have the heat too high or too close, he was about halfway done drying her hair when she finished brushing her teeth, spitting into the sink. He took his other hand, switching the sink on, washing it out, and then passed her the container that held her retainers in it. 

“Here you go, sweetpea. Pop these in, and then you can have your paci to suck on while Daddy finishes up drying your hair, alright?” 

She nodded, easily slipping them in, and he took note of the fact that she was barely verbal right now. He figured it had something to do with the emotions of the night, and wondered how verbal she was usually. He’d find out in due time, but he made sure to give detailed instruction, as well as comfort laced in his words, if it had something to do with fear or anxiety of the situation. 

Passing her the pacifier once she was done, it only took about five more minutes to finish drying her hair, and if he passed the time by singing to her, loud enough to hear over the hair dryer, but not loud enough to overstimulate her, nobody besides the two of them had to know. 

Unplugging the hair dryer and running his hands through her hair to make sure it was fully dry and no shampoo or conditioner was left in it, he picked her up off the counter, pressing a kiss to her cheek, and flipping off the lights on his way out. She let out a yawn into his neck, pacifier falling onto his shoulder. He grabbed it with one arm, the other still supporting her weight, and softly pushed it back into her mouth. She gripped his shirt in a tight fist, a small lisp sounding out around the rubber. 

“I seepy, Daddy.” 

He gently rubbed her back, bouncing her a little bit while he grabbed her blankie and favorite stuffie. 

“Oh, sweet girl, I know. It’s late for such a little one to be up.” 

He softly laid her down, heart breaking a bit when she whimpered and didn’t want to let go of him. 

“I know, angel, I’m here. I promise.” 

He tucked the blankets up around her, laying down next to her and pulling her close for a cuddle. 

“Get some rest, little one. Daddy will be right here when you wake up.” 

He smiled, the expression nearly permanent on his face, as he heard a few words. 

“Loves you, Daddy.” 

“I love you too, princess.”

[thelordofgifs]

Obscure Tolkien Blorbo: Round 4

A fox passing through the woods on business of his own vs Eldacar of Gondor

A fox passing through the woods on business of his own:

A fox who found Frodo, Sam and Pippin asleep under a tree and was puzzled by this.

Yeah sure why NOT switch PoV to a (arguably) non-sentient creature for like a paragraph with no bearing on the actual plot besides the comment that it never realized that the plot was happening??

It shows up for one page for no reason.  It's great.

Listen, that fox is absolutely a borbo. Confused? Funny? Has enough to be memorable but little enough to write a shitload of fanfiction about? Someone I have actually written about? Twice? (they aren't on ao3 though) clear boorbo

Look, people have observed before, correctly, that one of the things that sets The Lord of the Rings apart is that Tolkien will tell us things about the well-being of minor characters, like that the hobbits’ ponies that they lost in Bree were okay and went to live with Tom Bombadil. Tolkien is the kind of writer who will switch the POV to a fox who happens to pass by the hobbits on the first night of their journey to Rivendell, because the story isn’t just about the main characters, nor is it just about the endurance of realms like Rohan and Gondor. It’s about every living thing in Middle-earth, and for Frodo it’s especially about the Shire, the home of simplicity and good food and community and gardens and foxes. That’s what he takes up the Ring to save, and the fact that he takes it up with that motivation, not personal greatness or heroism, is what enables him to get as far as Mount Doom. Gandalf lays this idea out to Denethor when Denethor claims the fate of Gondor as a goal above all else: “For my part, I shall not wholly fail of my task, though Gondor should perish, if anything passes through this night that can still grow fair or bear fruit and flower again in days to come.” The Quest of the Ring is not simply about Men and Elves and Hobbits; it is about ponies, and the trees of Fangorn, and tiny sun-star flowers in the grass, and yes, a fox on business of his own who never finds out anything more about the three hobbits he once saw sleeping under a tree, but lives and thrives because of what they did.

Eldacar of Gondor:

The twenty-first King of Gondor, also known as Vinitharya. During his reign the conflict known as the Kin-strife occurred and he was forced from his throne for ten years.

The blorbo of all time actually. He’s the protagonist of one of the most interesting stories in the LoTR appendices, the Kin-strife, and everything about his life story is so fascinating! His father was the crown prince of Gondor and his mother was the princess of Rhovanion so not a Númenorean. As a result all the racist nobles of Gondor made noises about how Eldacar was of “lesser race” and wouldn’t live as long as a “true Dúnadan”. One of the most fascinating examples of fantasy racism in Tolkien’s works imo – the bigotry is awful but the bigots have a shield to hide behind! Obviously their concerns are actually valid because they just don’t want their king to die young! (Their concerns aren’t valid. But I think the worldbuilding here is great.) Anyway Eldacar was born in Rhovanion and given the birth-name Vinitharya, but when he returned to Gondor aged five he was obliged to take up the Quenya name Eldacar, presumably to pacify all the racists in Gondor. He’s the EMBODIMENT of mixed-race/immigrant child trauma my beloved. Eventually his father died and he ascended to the throne of Gondor, but then his shitty second cousin Castamir (all my homies hate Castamir he’s the worst) started the civil war known as the Kin-strife and usurped Eldacar’s throne. Eldacar was forced to flee north to Rhovanion but Castamir captured his eldest son Ornendil and had him cruelly put to death which is SO SAD. But Eldacar, being brave and resourceful and clever and extremely cool, put together an alliance with his mother’s kinsfolk in Rhovanion and after ten years reclaimed his throne, which turned out to be slightly easier than expected because Castamir was The Worst and all his subjects hated him. And Eldacar PERSONALLY fought and killed Castamir HIMSELF and AVENGED HIS SON which is extremely important when you consider all the cringefail elves in the legendarium whose quests for revenge didn’t really go anywhere at all. Then he lived to be 235 proving that all the idiot racists who were worried about his lifespan didn’t have any idea what they were talking about, as is par for the course with racists. Also the Kin-strife itself has such far-reaching consequences for the history of Gondor! The Corsairs of Umbar, Gondor’s long-standing enemies, are actually followers of the descendants of Castamir. And during the Usurpation of Castamir Osgiliath was sacked and burned, leading to the beginning of its decline as Gondor’s greatest city. Even though Eldacar’s story is, to me, ultimately hopeful, it’s also such a fascinating turning point in the history of Gondor. Also ALSO he’s explicitly surrounded by textual ghosts which is really fascinating. His father Valacar has “children” plural – so Eldacar had siblings!! What were they like? How did they react to it all? And his son Aldamir is described as Eldacar’s second son and third child, meaning that he had a daughter too. Who was she?? What happened to her? He’s such a blorbo and there’s so much interesting stuff to dig into around him and he has to win this entire tournament please please please❤️

Round 4 masterpost

[agerefandom]

Stella’s 1,800 Follower Giveaway!

Two years ago I had a giveaway for 500 followers, and now we’ve more than tripled that number in our agerefandom community! It continues to be so fun and rewarding to make content from art to fanfiction for all of you lovely regressors and dreamers and allies: I feel lucky every day that I get to wake up to the notifications and requests on this blog. 

So in celebration, here is the second-ever @agerefandom​ giveaway! 

To Qualify, You Must:

respect my DNI

be following @agerefandom

reblog this post!

Prizes: 

1. Your Choice Of Jellycat Stuffie

(details: up to $31, shipping covered in US/Canada, must be available on the Jellycat website) 

2. Custom Pacifier From @punkiepacis (on Instagram) 

(details: includes custom center, double outlining, and handle letters: shipping, charm and two special decorations also covered by me) 

3. Content Batch From Yours Truly 

(details: skip the line and get your request filled before I officially open requests in July! Includes a 1,000-3,000 word fanfiction and a headcanon set, OR 3-4 headcanon sets if you prefer. If you’re interested in something else, like moodboards or art, we can set a number for those as well <3) 

Rules:

you can reblog this post multiple times, but it only counts as one entry!

for a bonus entry, you can tag me in some agere content for any of the fandoms on my fandom list! moodboards, writing, art, headcanons, whatever you like to do! have fun!

the first person will get to choose between all three prizes. The second person will get to choose between the last two, and so on.

the giveaway will end on June 24th, 2023. The winners will be chosen before June 28th. 

Okay, that’s it! I love you all, and good luck!

[delenygma]

FANFICTION/Drabble | Euphoria | Edward Nashton/The Riddler

Guys, I watched the new episode this morning, and-

TW: drug use.

"I'm sorry-"

Edward lets it dissolve on his tongue, bittersweet and viscous. In an instant, his heart rate slows, his breathing evens out, a heavenly warmth coursing through him.

"No-"

There is no past anymore. Edward is free. Free from the torment, the torture. There is no more injustice, no more humiliation. It’s over. All of it is over, and he is warm and in good hands. Enveloped in a gentle ecstasy.

Pacified.

Edward's body has become a distant memory, and his mind is now a tranquil void.

"What have I-"

Is this what home is supposed to feel like?

[gayfandomnerd225]

Pt. 5 of Dead Poets Society Headcanons, age regression edition

Charlie, even tho he’s the clown of the group, is also the main caregiver of the boys when they regress

Todd often regresses due to anxiety

Neil often regresses due to stress, which happens more often than he wants to admit

The first time Neil regressed in front of Charlie he was complaining about his dad

Charlie wasn’t sure what to do but he noticed the regression and just started treating him with what was appropriate with how he was acting

Todd was really nervous to tell Neil that he regresses, and the first time it happened and he came out of it, he apologized over and over again

Meeks is the secondary caregiver and is usually first to notice when one of them regresses

Todd, even tho he’s often quiet, makes little childlike noises when he regresses, he tries to hide them sometimes but Meeks knows better

Neil’s eyes go sort of soft and blurry and his motor control isn’t as great

Pitts is also an age regressor, although it happens less frequently than Neil and Todd

Only Meeks knows about Pitts regression, and calls him baby boy when he does regress

Knox had no idea how to handle the boys when they regress when it first started, but soon he became Todd’s favourite one to play with when he regressed

Cameron wasn’t sure what age regression was, and at first thought it was a bit silly. Until he had a long talk with Neil about it. And now even he regresses sometimes

Cameron only regresses when he’s alone tho. He doesn’t feel safe telling the other boys. Even tho he knows Charlie would take care of him if he knew

Neil had a special stuffy for when he regresses, its a stuffed giraffe

Todd also had a special stuffy for when he regresses, its a stuffed bunny that Neil gave him, its name is Neil

Todd becomes very cuddly when he regresses, Charlie likes it when Todd curls up on his lap and he plays with Todd’s hair

Neil can be a brat sometimes when he regresses. Charlie knows not to push, he knows age regression is a safe place for Neil so he tries to be calming and understanding

Knox likes giving Neil and Todd piggy back rides when they regress

One time, after a very stressful exam week, Cameron accidentally regressed in front of Charlie in their room. Charlie spotted it because Cameron was giggling and Cameron does not giggle, and then he put his shirt in his mouth and started sucking on it. Charlie went straight into action mode, he grabbed the things he has for Neil and Todd when they regress and played caregiver for Cameron

When Cameron came out of it, he didn’t admit it at first, refusing to admit that he was an age regressor but finally admitted it because Charlie’s hands in his hair felt far too nice for it to stop

Sometimes after a rough week, Pitts makes a blanket fort in his and Meeks’ room to help Meeks regress and calm down. Meeks will crawl into the blanket fort and cuddle against Pitts as Pitts reads him a book, usually something nerdy or sci-fi

Meeks also has a pacifier, its green and has a decal of the pi symbol, because even when little, he’s a math nerd

(Writing all of these headcanons makes me want to write a fanfiction based off of them? What do yall think?)

(I also had to set this loose before vacation)

[just-your-casual-nerd]

Master List Part 6

Note: I did not write any of these fics, I just enjoy reading them, and had a shit load of them saved. So, I figured I would put all of the ones I liked on a master list, figuring that its an easy way to keep track of them, and maybe you guys would like them as well. Have a Great Day fellow Nerds! 😁👋

2nd Note: If Someone wants me to take their fic or another fic off, let me know and it will be done. I don't want to offend anyone or make them upset.

3rd note: I will keep adding to this list as I get more fics

Larissa:

Fanfiction Masterlist By: Tanith-rhea

Larissa Weems Fluff & Angst Oneshots By: daydream-cement

Larissa Weems Smut Oneshots By: daydream-cement

Master List for Billiedeansbitch

Larissa Weems Master List By: spicy-picklez

Nightmares By: bunniebubbleswrites

Beg for it, Darling. Pt. 2 By: only4use

My Darling | Agere By: @v3nusxsky

Distraction (NSFW) By: wh0re4women

Jealousy, jealousy (NSFW) By: wh0re4gwen

Am I Yours? | NSFW By: @v3nusxsky

Lesso:

Cramps from hell | mixed By: @v3nusxsky

I'm Sorry | H&c By: @v3nusxsky

Alcina (Resident Evil Village):

Drabble for Alcina By: the-castle-of-dimitrescu

Alcina Dimitrescu Masterlist Part 1 By: ctitan98

Love me more. By: sunhysteria

Always By: vulpe-fox

Home//Mother! By: parvulous-writings

Alcina Dimitrescu Masterlist Part 2 By: ctitan98

Reader is Wronged By: notbadforafailedvessel

Alcina ( House Dimitrescu Series) By: words-etched-in-her-skin

Alcina's New Maid By: willalove75

Secretly in love. Part 1 By: rosalynesimp

Agatha Harkness:

Pacify Her (NSFW) By: milfandh0ney

Lucifer (The Sandman):

Littledolllls main masterlist By: littledollll

Other Master Lists:

Master list for spicy-picklez

Master list for sunhysteria

Larissa Weems masterlist for plaguedoctorino

Masterlist for duke-of-poosay

Fanfiction Masterlist for daydream-cement

Fanfiction Masterlist for regalbootie

Masterlist for wasjustred

Larissa Weems Masterlist for jeanette-luminia

Masterlist for moodreaderlesbian

Lucifer Morningstar (The Sandman) Masterlist for alexusonfire

Masterlist for stanchett

Fanfiction Masterlist for weemssapphic

Captain Phasma Masterlist for cissyenthusiast010155

[emerald-onion]

Things Dr. Ink Is Not Allowed To Do At The Foundation, by Dr. Dream (WIP)

Stop teaching Agent Blue swear words.

Not even in different languages.

Spike the coffee machine with laxatives is not only gross but also immoral.

Don't the SCP file as your personal notebook. How many times do I have to say this?

Try to convince everyone that SCP-404 is 'a big softie inside' is just plain suicidal.

Answer "What the fuck do you want?!" with "Your SOUL" is right out.

Stop telling everyone your paintbrush is secretly a staff member.

Stop telling a staff member they are secretly a paintbrush.

"I forgot!" is not and will never be an excuse for nearly killing all of your co-workers.

And neither is "They didn't pass the vibe check".

Nor "They shouldn't have eaten the last muffin".

Rolling up to someone with a trenchcoat and saying "I have brought the goods" isn't as hilarious as you may think.

Don't tell the new recruits that SCP-99 will adopt them if they call it 'Nootmare'.

Don't tell people that your medicine is drug.

Don't hide drugs in your medicine. Trust me, I'll know.

Showing SCP-404's shitty Undernovela's knock-off was fun one time and one time only, and that was before it destroyed our entire west wing.

Don't give Agent Blue candies.

Don't give Agent Blue honey.

Don't give Agent Blue cake-pop.

Don't give Agent Blue any kind of sugar, period.

No, "What have you done?" is a desperate plea for you to stop, not "Please continue".

There is not any SCP Dating Simulator. There has never been a SCP Dating Simulator.

Not even in Japan.

And no, this isn't a suggestion to make one.

Dr. Ink is not the God of Creation. Not even if your cult says so. Since when did you have a cult in the first place?

Stop submitting your paperwork in the back of a Kung Fu Panda DVD.

Stop stealing SCP-404's chocolate.

Stop hiding SCP-404's remote control.

Stop rearranging everything in SCP-404's containment cell by one inch to drive it insane.

Stop messing with SCP-404, I beg of you.

Drawing SCP porn on the Foundation walls is strictly forbidden.

Don't tell Agent Red this world is a shitty crossover fanfiction and everything he knows is fake.

Don't tell Agent Red that he and Agent Blue are the clones of Dr. Sans.

Yes, I know that it's possible, Agent Cross is standing right there, but stop giving him an existential crisis, please.

Don't tell Agent Blue his action figures are alive and they're silently screaming for him to break them from their inanimate prison.

Don't call Agent Blue Berrybaby specifically to piss him off.

Don't convince Agent Blue Santa Clause is real and he just needs to go to Antarctica to find him.

Seriously, leave the poor guy alone.

No spilling melted chocolate on someone and telling them it's SCP-99's goop.

Stop trying to wear high heels to make yourself taller. You broke your fucking leg, Dr. Ink.

Didn't I order you to stop messing with SCP-404? Why do I see a giant graffiti of SCP-404 in a cat hoodie in front of its containment cell?

SCP-404's dolls are not made of the remains of its dead victims. It has already been terrifying enough already, stop fanning the flame even more.

Yes, you have a bad memory. No, even that won't make you forget the large fire you start in the cafeteria 10 seconds ago.

The Foundation exists to protect the people, not a big conspiracy to control everyone's mind.

There is no such thing as a Reset button. Stop saying that every time you mess something up.

SCP-99 cannot be pacified with a lullaby. Don't tell the other scientists that. We're short on staff already.

Playing your flute at three in the morning is just plain creepy.

The Foundation does not have a dress code. Especially not 'Maid uniform'.

I know you still meet up with SCP-90 sometimes. I don't know how, but I know. For God's sake, Ink! He's a freaking body-snatching parasite!

You're absolutely not allowed to knock on the D-personals' door and tell them "It is coming. There's nothing you can do to stop it."

[witchyleehibernates-fics]

Spoonful of Sugar (Or a Frozen Drink) To Cure a Fever

Summary:

“My first patient of my shift… is Octavian’s… fiance’s… baby sister… How old is she?” Will pushed himself up, walking over to Kayla and looking over her shoulder to the computer screen. The patient was four years old, and she’d been having a really high and strong fever and she’d not eaten for two days, and she wouldn’t take liquids for at least a day. “Damn, she’s pretty sick, huh?” Will’s brows furrowed. He glanced over to Octavian. “You want to take her as a patient instead?” If there was one thing that Will absolutely knew for certain, was that Octavian was protective of his family. He cared for his family in his own way, and Will could respect that. “No… the italian is bringing her in, and I can’t stand him, almost more than I can’t stand you or the Jackson boy.” Octavian rolled his eyes. “Luke’s worried about his sister, and… You are better with children than I am.” Octavian huffed. If Will didn’t know better, he would have thought that there was respect in Octavian’s voice.

Content Warning's/Trigger Warnings: Good Luke Castellan, Good Octavian, Luke/Octavian, Sick Children Characters, Sick Estelle

Characters: Nico Di Angelo, Estelle Blofis, Percy Jackson, Luke Castellan, Octavian, Kayla Knowles

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 2,967

Status: Complete

Fanfic Links:

|| Ao3 || Fanfiction Net ||

......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........

Nico had hoped that with Estelle being sick, he’d be able to hide away inside with her until Percy got home later that night. He wouldn’t have to run any errands, since Percy did all that the day before while Nico was working, since Estelle had been with Luke and his fiance. He had wanted to see if Estelle would eat easier for him, since she’d not eaten at all the day before. But Percy had texted him to remind him that he’d set up a doctor’s appointment for Estelle, and that Nico had to take her that afternoon.

Nico sometimes wished that Percy wasn’t such a nice person, because Percy was almost always picking up other’s shifts when they needed him too. And currently, two of his workers were out from an accident from a few weeks prior. They’d be back the next week, which Nico was thankful for, and he knew Luke and Octavian would be too. Nico was often amused by the fact that Octavian hated Percy because of how nice he was.

He sighed as he walked from the kitchen to the living room, where Estelle was curled up on the couch with a pacifier in her mouth and a stuffed animal clutched to her chest. She was wrapped up in her favorite blanket and she looked exhausted, and in mild pain. His heart ached for her, and he knew Percy hated how many hours he was picking up. Percy would also never overwork his employees, but he would one hundred percent overwork himself.

“Hey, little star,” Nico hummed, watching as the four year old blinked tiredly as she looked over towards him. “How are you feeling?” He asked her, moving and sitting down on the couch nearby. Estelle made a noise, though he couldn’t quite tell if she was feeling better or not. It was a more neutral sound. He glanced at the tv and found that Percy had put on a movie list of her favorite Looney Tunes movies. He didn’t understand the show or connected movies to the franchise, but Estelle loved them.

“Would you be willing to eat a little? For me?” Nico asked, and Estelle made a face, her arms tightening around her stuffed animal. “Please? I made Alfredo with Chicken.” Alfredo was her favorite, and she loved chicken so combining them wasn’t that hard for NIco. Though he used his own recipe, that was passed down through his family for generations.

“O’tay.” Estelle’s voice was slurred, both from the pacifier and from her not really up for talking. She moved her arms, shivering hard once her arms left the blanket, and Nico moved to pick her up. She rested her head on his shoulder, and Nico rubbed her back as he walked them towards the kitchen. He’d already dished out his own plate of food, and Estelle perked her head up a little when she saw the garlic bread also sitting off towards the side.

“You want a small bit of garlic bread?” He asked, he felt Estelle nod as she rested her head back against his shoulder. He opened the cupboard and found one of the baby plates, one of the smaller ones, and pulled that down. She probably wouldn’t eat much, but it was progress that she was at least willing to try to eat today. “I’m gonna put you in your chair now, okay?” Nico asked. Estelle didn’t move, but she also didn't protest when he set her in the highchair, locking the plate in place in front of her.

“‘ater?” She asked as Nico dished a scoop of Alfredo and Chicken onto the baby plate. “‘ease?” Nico immediately reached for the cupboard again for a sippy cup for her, already debating on tap or iced, which they had already prepared in the fridge.

“Of course,” Nico responded, feeling much better about the upcoming doctor’s appointment. He set the sippy cup to the side, and grabbed a piece of garlic bread to break the crust off. Once her plate of food was ready, he grabbed her a fork that she could use and opened the fridge, looking for the water in there. He grabbed the jug, placing Estelle’s fork on her plate as he set the jug on the counter. He opened the sippy cup and filled the cup and put the jug away. He glanced over and found that Estelle looked sleepy, with her pacifier sitting in the cup part of her chair plate.

He put the cap back on the cup, grabbed her plate and walked over, humming as he set both items in front of her. He moved her pacifier onto the actual table before moving to grab his own plate. He sat beside her at the table, making sure that she was actually eating, or at least attempting to, as he ate his own food.

“Good?” Nico asked, looking towards the fridge contemplatively. He was thirsty, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted to drink. He glanced back at Estelle to find her happily eating, but she was also looking more exhausted. Hopefully she’d be able to finish her food before she ended up falling asleep. He was pleased that he remembered the recipe, and it had turned out better than he had thought it would have.

“Done.” He glanced up, and found that she had eaten at least most of her food, and most of her water was gone too. He glanced at the time and nodded. He’d finish eating while she napped, and that would give him time to clean up and put leftovers in the fridge and then put together a bag for the walk to the clinic. He pushed his plate further onto the table, moving and setting Estelle’s plate and sippy off to the side, unclipping the table of her chair and picking her up. 

One trip to the bathroom later and Estelle was curled up back on the couch, wrapped up in her blanket with her pacifier and eyes closed for the most part. He would forever be thankful that Luke had taught Nico and Percy enough tips to manage their ADHD when it came to the common areas in their apartment since he had needed to restart her movie. The Christmas Looney Tunes was Estelle’s favorite, a by-product of Percy adoring Christmas since that’s when Percy got the excuse of spending all his time with family.

The movie would be a good timer for Nico, since they had to leave once it was over. It was a twenty minute walk, and he hoped that Estelle would sleep through most of it. But he needed to pack a bag to carry a few things for the journey. He would let them wait longer, but Percy’s car was in the shop, and Nico couldn’t be bothered to learn how to drive or get his own car. It was too much of a hassle, and Nico liked walking anyways. Most things were within walking distance, so he didn’t see the need to have a car.

Percy would say that Nico was crazy, because Percy’s walking distance and Nico’s were vastly different, but they made it work… somehow. And if they absolutely needed to, Luke always offered for Percy to borrow his car. There were times where Nico felt jealous that Percy had an older brother so willing to help. And then other times he was just thankful that Percy hadn’t had to shoulder everything that life had to throw at him alone. Who knows how differently Percy would have turned out otherwise.

He hummed as he moved towards the door, where his cross bag was hung up. He grabbed that and moved towards his room, eyes darting towards his journal and grabbing that. Normally his bag was already packed and he could just grab and leave, but he really had no intent of leaving the house. He grabbed his sketchbook, humming quietly as his coloring pencils were added next. He grabbed his jacket and moved back out to the kitchen so that he could finish eating. His stomach growled, to which he made a face. He set his bag on the table, moving towards the fridge and grabbing a soda before moving to his plate.

He was a little hungrier than he thought, and he would add a bit more to his plate before he sat and finished eating.

Will gave a displeased huff as he spotted Octavian walk into the breakroom, dressed as if he was coming in for a shift. Will knew for a fact that it was Octavian’s day off, and the only one that lined up with his fiance’s for at least the next two weeks.

“Why is he here?” He asked Kayla, a frown on his face as he set his thermos of coffee down. Kayla looked up, frowning as well as she spotted the blonde. “He should be at home with his fiance. Not here to bother us.”

“I’m here,” Octavian gave a look to Will, a glare that was filled with disgust as he walked over to them. “Because my fiance’s baby sister is coming in. And I want to be sure that she is okay. Especially since if what she has is contagious enough, my fiance will end up sick too.” He rolled his eyes. “His brother had errands, and the other one, the roommate, had work. Believe me, I don’t want to be here either.”

Will would have responded, but Kayla gave him a look, and he decided that he would listen to his sister. This time, at least. Since he was pretty sure he and Octavion would have another go at each other later. The two could not get along, and Will was sure that they would never get along.

Their team leader told them that their ‘rivalry’ was causing issues among their team, but Will was pretty sure the two just hated each other and he was waiting and counting up the days until one of them was assigned to an entirely different shift. He hoped it was himself, though his last request for it was denied.

“What’s her name, I’ll see who’s assigned to her.” Kayla offered. And while Octavian gave her a small look of disdain, which was much better than the disgust that Will usually brought out. He heaved a sigh as he pulled out his phone, like he was checking the name of his fiance’s baby sister. Will thought that he should know it, since he was getting his fiance’s last name.

“Estelle Jackson.” Will paused, raising an eyebrow. He recognized the last name, Jackson, though he didn’t quite remember where he’d heard it from. “The roommate is also, apparently, a cousin to the middle brother.” There was a level of disgust… but also a hint of fondness when he spoke of his fiance's brother. Will wondered what that was about, but he didn’t dare ask.

“Oh, that’s… She’s Will’s patient, in forty minutes it says.” Kayla spoke, eyes curious as she glanced over. Will froze, eyes darting up to stare at her.

“My first patient of my shift… is Octavian’s… fiance’s… baby sister… How old is she?” Will pushed himself up, walking over to Kayla and looking over her shoulder to the computer screen. The patient was four years old, and she’d been having a really high and strong fever and she’d not eaten for two days, and she wouldn’t take liquids for at least a day.

“Damn, she’s pretty sick, huh?” Will’s brows furrowed. He glanced over to Octavian. “You want to take her as a patient instead?” If there was one thing that Will absolutely knew for certain, was that Octavian was protective of his family. He cared for his family in his own way, and Will could respect that.

“No… the italian is bringing her in, and I can’t stand him, almost more than I can’t stand you or the Jackson boy.” Octavian rolled his eyes. “Luke’s worried about his sister, and… You are better with children than I am.” Octavian huffed. If Will didn’t know better, he would have thought that there was respect in Octavian’s voice.

“I’ll find out what’s wrong, she won’t be sick for much longer.” Will told him, his voice serious. Kayla hummed, her own brows furrowed.

“Is the other brother Percy?” Kayla asked, glancing towards Octavian who looked annoyed. But… Will glanced away before he was caught staring, because it looked like Octavian’s expression had softened.

“Yes, Luke’s brother is Percy. Too kind for his own good.” Octavian rolled his eyes, muttering that last part of his statement with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh! He’s where we get our coffee every morning! He wasn’t in this morning though,” Kayla frowned, and yeah… that was where Will remembered that last name. Handsome guy, but not quite Will’s type. “Annabeth was however, so that was something.” Kayla had a crush on Annabeth, which Will often teased her about with Austin.

“Yeah, home with his sister since Di Angelo was at his own job, some client was being pissy or something.” Octavian muttered, and there was another roll of his eyes. Will had to say something, he was being too nice otherwise.

“Roll your eyes anymore and you’ll lose them.” He turned and let Kayla out from behind the computer after she closed the appointments list. Octavian made a sound, not dissimilar to a cat hissing or growling at him. It only served to amuse Will and the reactions he got from the other blonde. Will moved back to his coffee, and his brownie that he got. It was his unhealthy choice for the week, because the Coffee Shop had some delicious treats, all of which he learned were recipes that came from Percy, or his cousin who liked to cook at home.

Will sighed, and instead of sitting in the break room, he moved to his examination room. He didn’t want to risk pissing Octavian off more than his general existence already did.

“Welcome to the Sunshine and Rose Cafe and Coffee House, what can I get start-” Percy looked up, eyes widening when he spotted Nico and Estelle. “Nico! Estelle!” His eyes lit up a bit, and then widened comically when Octavian walked in behind them.

“Just got here from her appointment, she’s going to be okay. I even got her to eat and drink today.” Nico boasted quietly, stepping up and letting Estelle wave at her brother. “He gave us a ride when he found out we were walking.”

“Your cousin also got the number of the doctor that helped Estelle.” Octavian rolled his eyes. “Espresso con Panna. Double shot.” Octavian ordered, which Percy jumped to put into the machine.

“Nico?”

“Uh, Cinnamon Mocha, and then a hot Chocolate freeze for Estelle.” Nico answered, patting Estelle’s side as she looked around the Coffee Shop. “By the way, there’s Alfredo and Chicken at home, for when you get off.” Nico informed him.

“Oh hell yes.” Percy cheered quietly, “Okay, I’m gonna go make those. Octavian, is Luke working tomorrow?”

“Yes, and he’s stopping in beforehand, so you better be here. Something about him having something for you.” Octavian answered. Percy made a noise of acknowledgement as he moved to the back to make their drinks. Nico noticed there was a certain tone in Octavian’s voice, like he knew exactly what Luke had for Percy.

He would have asked, but he would have been pushing Octavian’s generosity if he continued to push and ask. He was surprised that they hadn’t gotten into an argument yet. He actually liked the peace that was currently settling between them.

Ten minutes passed, and Percy was back with their drinks, though he had them wait and grabbed three brownies to pass to them too.

“New recipe, wanted to see your thoughts on them.” Percy explained, he cut one of the brownies in half, most likely for Estelle. He ate one half, but passed the three to Octavian, who had a free hand.

“What kind?”

“Dark Chocolate with Mint and Cinnamon.”

“Add another for Luke.” Percy rolled his eyes, most likely about to say something about ‘manners’, a common argument between the two. He stopped moments before he said anything, and nodded his head and grabbed another brownie to pass to Octavian.

Nico paid before Octavian could, something that would have made Nico uncomfortable.

“Did Luke want a coffee?”

“He will tomorrow.” Octavian snarked, and Percy rolled his eyes as Estelle giggled. That made Percy’s, and Nico’s, day. She’d been much too quiet recently with her being sick. The medication in his bag was surely going to help, as it seemed to be already. Doctor Solace had given her a dose to show Nico how to do it, and it was already taking effect.

“Alright, Estelle looks like she likes her brownie, and she looks a little tired.” Percy reached across and ruffled Estelle’s hair. She made a noise of discontentment, which Nico snorted at as Percy made an overexaggerated face of offense.

“Yeah, I’m going to get her home and down for a nap.” Nico told him, letting her hold her frozen Hot Chocolate as he grabbed his coffee.

“Already took one.” Estelle spoke up, smiling at her brother as she leaned her head against Nico’s shoulder.

“Yeah? Bet you're still tired though.” Percy waved at them as Octavian made a noise of impatience. He was getting impatient and most likely wanted to get home to his fiance. Nico didn’t really blame him.

“Yeah, alright, have a good shift, Perce, we’ll see you later.” Nico nodded, accepting his brownie from Octavian when it was offered. It was a very good brownie, Nico had to admit. And he would be relieved when he was home as well.

[dearcat1]

(Whiplash)

Part 2 of Sass and Squirrels

Xanxus wakes about two weeks after Tsunayoshi's birth. He's uncomfortably warm, burrowed in a nest of blankets with his pajamas sticking to his skin. He reeks of sweat and sickness. It's not helping him any, of course, but the tears that well in his eyes come from the memories pounding in his too young brain. Maybe the ill-timed ringing in his ears, the ghost of Squalo's scream reaching him from the afterlife. Except that's the problem, isn't it? Xanxus isn't dead, despite what his mind is trying to tell him. He remembers the taste of blood just as vividly as he remembers the scraped knee he got in kindergarten. It's all a convoluted mess in his head. Xanxus hisses, very carefully not jostling his head but forcing himself up on his arms and then his knees.

"Shit."

It takes him a moment to realize that the screaming isn't a distant sort of memory, it's real. Present in a way that's doing his headache no favours. But it's not Squalo's voice.

A beat, then two. Xanxus sighs, giving up on his optimism, as short lived as it was. He can hear no noise other than the screaming, and though the little voice has a powerful set of lungs powering it, Xanxus doesn't doubt that Nana is gone. "Fuck this shit." She could never quite manage this part of the job.

Slowly, painfully, Xanxus drags himself up and off the bed. He's lucky that his feet remember the way because he can't be bothered to think right now. He almost gives up halfway there, the high-pitched screaming too much for his poor head to bear, but he makes it there.

Tsunayoshi is in his crib, face red and tiny fists waving at the air in defiance. Good for him. And yet… "Shut the fuck up," Xanxus grunts, climbing up the railing and settling down beside the boy. "I'm trying to sleep."

The kid has no answer for him, except more wailing. Out of self-preservation, Xanxus grabs the pacifier attached to the brat's plushie and sticks it in Tsunayoshi's mouth. The boy fights against it, for a moment, but settles down soon enough. Xanxus sighs in relief, laying down beside the kid and closing his eyes.

"It's fine," he soothes, unsure whether he means the comfort for the kid or for himself. "We'll just take a little nap and deal with this later."

[mistabobalina]

The best thing about writing fanfiction about minor characters is that it *could* have happened? Maybe there was a giant predatory oarfish-like mermaid at Plastic Beach that tried to eat the inhabitants who Murdoc learned to pacify with ketamine and The Cocteau Twins?

[echoes-lighthouse]

🏅🥮and🦴 for your Vampire Polycule?

*big gasp* Heck yeah thank you!!!! I've had to rewrite a couple scenes in my fanfiction because I'm not wanting to totally get into agere dynamics in that particular story but it's so on my mind for this group. (agere selfship asks)

🏅 - favourite activities to do together when regressed?

With Gabrielle, it's to explore! Especially ruins or abandoned places, but forests can also be fun. I want to run around and see things and poke them. She explains them, sometimes, but other times she just follows and supervises.

With Armand, we go through phases together. Right now we're watching Inside Out and then playing with a ball. We've done the same routine about a hundred and twenty times in the last year and eventually we'll choose a new one, but we're both enjoying it for now.

The others are mostly more like babysitters rather than caregivers but they're mostly nice to me. Lestat gets pouty if I'm getting too much attention and if it's just the two of us I usually have to be the big sibling. Daniel gets his wires crossed with me and Armand and our preferences, but he does his best to keep them straight. Louis just puts on a movie: he's never been interested in that part of me or Armand. Considering his baggage, I don't blame him.

🥮 - favourite food to eat while regressed? how do they get it for you?

Welllllll.... vampires, huh? I do love people who lean into the horror elements on agere iwtv fanfiction, blood in baby bottles and all of that business. But it's not my speed!

Unfortunately a lot of our group has hang-ups on my hunting style so I only really get to go out to hunt with Gabrielle or Daniel if I'm regressed. For Louis and Lestat it's about the bad memories, for Armand it's just a matter of not wanting to keep an eye on me out and about. And also it's not part of our routine. But I do like hunting when I'm little!! I just don't get to do it super often.

🦴 - has cg f/o gotten you any regression gear?

Yeah!! It's hard to tell who's gotten me what and also what belongs to who in the house, a little bit. All the regression stuff gets jumbled up after a few years. I think it's mostly Armand and Louis that buy it? All of my pacifiers are stolen from the others because they're more picky. Armand always keeps me stocked up on colouring books. The others don't like colouring books, so I know those are definitely just for me. Daniel does them sometimes but I don't think he's regressing I think he just likes to keep me company.

[rileyh20]

Sucking on a ring pop like a pacifier while listening to sad audio edits and writing fanfiction, no biggie.