#The Lucifer who made Michael turn his back to his Father's orders

[chiisana-sukima]

@aliasl OP's post chain is getting very long and I don't want to clog it up further, but I am actually interested in talking about this further with you if you want, so I've moved to a new post. I thought you were being condescending to OP on a post he made where his point was correct, so I was being condescending in turn. But from your response here it sounds like maybe that wasn't your intent? Which, if that's so, I misread your tone, I apologize, and if you're interested, I'd like to have a do over.

Because, okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it: I hate r*pe. It is a trigger for me in media. If I feel like a piece of media is depicting sexual assault in a disrespectful or careless way - using it as shock value, not having more to say than "wow, that's bad" - I can't stand it, and I block that shit for my mental health. If you honestly think possession is THE metaphor for sexual assault, with the frequency it appears in Supernatural, I'd be appalled.

I think you should be appalled. I think contempt is an appropriate response. I was throwing shade, because I think the writers deserve it.

I do also firmly believe it's possible to be a huge fan of spn while also being appalled at certain aspects of it, and I can respect that if sexual assault is something that's triggering for you, it's perfectly reasonable to avoid that reading for yourself. It is still there though and many of the instances of sexual assault metaphor are central to the text, whether the authors intended it or not. And while I too have read Barthes, and I understand his work was revolutionary for its time, I don't think DotA is adequate to the task of dealing with a text that frequently compares something to rape and then moves right along and ignores the fact that it just did so. I think the authors' motivations, cultural context and intent are worth examining in this kind of case. (I do also understand that Barthes wasn't saying you couldn't examine those things, just that the stated intent of the author wasn't authoritative. Which I agree with. I don't think he was wrong, just that other schools of literary theory are more useful here because it does matter why tptb felt that was a reasonable thing to do).

please show your math

In reference to the family violence reading of spn, it's daunting to show my math because my math is the whole show. It starts in the cold open of 1x01, where we're shown a cozy scene of the suburban dream of family and then dad falls asleep in his marine corp T-shirt watching a war movie, and a demon--played, in this scene, by the same actor as the dad--stands over a baby's crib, drips his body fluid into the baby's mouth, corrupting him forever, and burns the mother and the cozy suburban home to ashes because (we later learn) she sold the baby to him in exchange for her husband. Then the baby's now adult brother breaks into the now adult child's apartment, they have a physical altercation and go off on a case together involving a woman who murdered her two children and killed herself because her husband was unfaithful. The resolution is her ghost is dragged off to hell by the ghosts of her dead children. Then they go back to Stanford and Sam's girlfriend and apartment are burned to ashes by a demon who is later insinuated to be Sam's lover in order to facilitate the plot to have Sam and Lucifer kill their respective brothers in a bizarre prophecy apparently ordained by Lucifer and Michael's father. This is war = family = hunting = ghosts = violence all the way down.

And my math ends in the finale with Sam and Dean shown living a happy domestic life until they go off on a hunt, where Dean is killed while saving two children from a monster they and their father had previously tried to kill but failed. He dies telling Sam he's proud of him for standing up to their father and, for the first time on screen, saying he loves Sam. What issue exactly is he proud that Sam always stood up to John about? Dean doesn't say but we know where the show started: Sam didn't want to be a hunter and their father disowned him for disobedience.

In the middle are too many examples to count. Sam, Dean, Cas, Bobby, Jack, and literally all the angels grew up in abusive families. The entire plots of s4-5, s9-11, and in large part s13-15 turn explicitly on family violence. Amara's brother kills her. Jo is Sam and Dean's found little sister and their father got her father killed. Cas somehow ends up Claire's surrogate found father even though he got her real father killed. Rowena abandoned Crowley as a child. Max turned Alicia into a twig doll over whom he has absolute power. Charlie died as a result of Sam and Dean's family conflict. God himself is the abusive father/monster who Sam, Dean and Jack finally escape the cycle of violence by depowering and not killing. I have never seen any other reading that accounts for the whole of spn anywhere near as well as the family violence reading does. If you have one, I encourage you to offer it to me.

So let's talk about angels. You seem upset that I left them out

I was, yes. I'm going to go under a cut for this one since you said this topic is triggering for you. I know there's limited utility in telling you I don't expect you to read it if you don't want to, because I'm unfortunately well aware of how hard it is to not approach triggering topics once they're broached. I just wanted to say here before the cut that I honestly didn't intend to trigger you, I empathize with how much getting triggered sucks (I've had ptsd for ~50 years), and I wish only health and happiness for you in whatever struggle you are going through in relation to this topic. If you do want to still engage in general but step away from this specific aspect, that's truly fine with me (not that you need a stranger on the internet's permission, obviously).

If you go back and rewatch the series from the beginning, demonic/ghost possession was not sexualized (except in a singular joke Dean cracks at Sam after he was possessed by Meg; a joke Dean feels comfortable making because Sam was NOT sexually assaulted

I swear I am offering this not as confrontation, but gently: the above is not the case. There are two suggestive jokes about possession in that episode alone, and Sam was sexually assaulted by Meg, as was Jo. The scene where Meg!Sam comes onto Jo and then traps Jo when she asks Meg!Sam to leave and bangs Jo's head against the bar is a sexual assault of both Sam and Jo simultaneously.

In Sin City, Ruby tells Sam that demons leave their hosts "rode hard and put up wet". And in s4, Sera Gamble had Ruby inhabit a brain dead vessel precisely because she was too uncomfortable with what would otherwise imply Sam's rape of Ruby's vessel. In Repo Man, the A plot turns on a host who "wanted it" and became romantically attracted to the demon possessing him, while the B plot is about Sam reluctantly asking Hallucifer for help and then being told by Hallucifer that he wanted it too. In Devil May Care, Dean and Abaddon have a whole scene in which they both discuss her threatened possession of him in sexual terms while she forces him to kneel in front of her suggestively. In Road Trip Crowley says he'll leave Sam as soon as he delivers his message because he's "not one for sloppy seconds" and in First Born he says he and Dean are "practically family" because Crowley has "been inside your brother". And these are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head. I'm positive there are others as well.

And yes, I was angry about the exclusion of angels because none of the above are even the most horrifying examples of the text overlapping possession and rape. Those are all about angels.

Here is where I think Barthes fails us in this particular discussion. I actually agree with you that tptb were at the very least pretending that they didn't make this comparison over and over. It's possible they didn't realize they were doing it. And certainly they thought they were indeed talking about "bigger" issues. That's clear from the text.

In s4-5 for example, I have no disagreement with you that their intended reading had to do with free will versus outside manipulation by greater powers. But "free will vs outside manipulation" is not actually a bigger issue than rape. It's just more abstract.

Obviously, abstractions are important, and the ability to move between levels of abstraction is an important skill. But it is not imo in our best interests as human persons to hold a framework in our minds in which an abstraction like free will is more worthy of art, of in depth analysis, of being taken seriously, than a ubiquitous concrete harm like sexual assault. This is especially true for those of us who are rape survivors (I am one, and since you said it was triggering, I'm now assuming either you or someone you know well is probably another), but I would argue it's true for everyone. Nothing trumps the concrete. We are at its mercy. Cartesian dualism is a lie.

I think some of tptb were perhaps going for some shock value but were also taking their metaphor seriously. Edlund, Gamble, Charmelo & Snyder, Glynn, and Jared were among these. Some of the rest though, I think should be ashamed of themselves. The person who wrote this exchange (Adam Glass)

needs--and I mean this in the most academic and analytic way possible--to go fuck himself. There's really nothing more that needs to be said about that dialogue in the way of analysis. Go fuck yourself, Adam Glass is sufficient.

[theunknownmasks]

@gctchell

They had finally caught him. Lucifer had given Eve the forbidden apple, going through with his and Lilith's plan to share their ideas with her till he realized that it was an ambush by God's angels as they had the young bright by powerful binds to prevent himself from freeing himself.

It was when he saw God himself show his face as he appeared behind Michael and the other archangels that he knew he was in trouble. Hearing the angels speak about how he had brought evil and darkness to humanity by feeding Lilith and now Eve the forbidden apple from the tree. The fury he could see him his father's eyes before his eyes closed with a sigh.

The young angel could see the disappointment creeping into the man's face. That is till he watched the deity, his father, approach him to take his halo from Lucifer.

"Lucifer..my perfect boy. You have disobeyed me when I told you after Lilith not to do this again. Yet here you-," Immediately Lucifer was quick to interrupt him in desperation. "They deserve to chose!" He argued and soon regretted as the look in his father's eyes were angry. "You put an entire new creation into harms way! My boy..I am so sorry but, you must be punished. Made into an example." He sighed as the blond could feel the other grabbing the rope to remove it and bind his hands to turn him from him and had grabbed the upper left wing to begin to break the bones of his wing at the connecting joint before yanking the limb right off his back.

Lucifer had barely any time to process what was happening in this moment till he had felt the pain of flesh and bone. A blood curling cry leaving the angel who was instantly trying to fight him back with his other wings as he was trying to run. God who'd been prepared had grabbed at the next wing to do the same thing as he ordered the other archangels to hold him down as he began to let out an order of what he was casting the angel into the pit of darkness he had created. A place called Hell.

Feeling his brother's and sister's holding the young fallen angel as he shook with pain and tears as another wing was ripped from his back and another scream left the other as he watched his wings tossed to the ground into the puddle of blood and feathers he was creating.

[deathfavor]

@ephemeralshot said: Michael felt his eyes sink into the ground as he listened. Arms wrapping around him in a pathetic hug to himself as he found himself wavering. He says they haven’t changed but Michael has changed a lot. Back then, he still felt hope, he even smiled. When he and Lucifer squabble, he had sensed it was more than simply wishing to illicit a reaction out of him.

Michael could understand the loneliness, the way Lucifer’s light outshined his own even long after he had been casted out. It didn’t make it better, it made it all worse. It hurt deeper than he ever imagined. Ironic how the one Michael wished to be like was just as lonely if not lonelier. Were they simply doomed to be miserable?

Heaven was his home, it was where he belonged and yet he felt alone amongst the other angels. God only ever spoke orders in his ears, and duty was all he knew. All the other angels would only ever gawk or steal glances at Lucifer. When he wasn’t locked away in the throne room. Many too afraid to speak to him. Michael hadn’t really thought too hard on it until now. He assumed it was the respect the bringer of light was owed. The morning star. Was it because Michael and Lucifer were the first that he had been able to speak to him in the way that he did? Unafraid to lash out, or fight back?

“So you liked when I yelled at you?” Michael asks, snowy white bangs falling in front of his face as he hide the small smile that appeared on his lips. Michael could be more than his anger, but it was much like natures wondrous encounters. Rare and sight to behold. Often times his anger was what showed what he was feeling deep inside. The grief he held for a father who didn’t listen, anguish, hatred and love for a brother who stood on the opposite of him now. “Is that all you want to know?” He asks quietly, his red gaze turning slowly to meet the pair of golden eyes watching his back.

Lucifer can see Michael trying to embrace himself, wrap himself in a self-soothing gesture that he would never let anyone else see. A part of him yearns to reach out...but what good will it do if it only makes Michael flinch away or shut down further? He's finally saying something, and perhaps it is best to give him the space to process it in a way that Michael needs to. Fingertips press against the starry fabric at his side, keeping his hands close to him.

" I liked it better when you'd brush my hair under that tree, even if you were often scolding me on napping or being out there rather than being early to an event. " It had never mattered. In fact, Lucifer's slight delay always had more people flocking to see his dazzling entrance whenever he would eventually appear. No matter how much he didn't want to be there, he would for Michael's sake or the others. He was God's right hand, it was something that was never to be forgotten. It still wasn't, Lucifer had been the one and only. To this day he carries secrets known to no other. " But yes. I suppose I did. It was new. I liked getting to experience what others did, if only for a moment. Only with you. " He's quiet for a moment as he chooses his next words carefully. " it has still always only been you. " Samael understood him too well, and that too was different than the bond with Michael.

Is that all he wanted to know? Lucifer's eyes meet familiar red, lips parting yet lingering with rare uncertainty. " I...don't follow. " He admits, draconic pupils searching Michael's face for the answers he doesn't have at his fingertips. " No... " He shakes his head after a moment, taking a few steps closer. The limitations of such language would never cease to be a frustration for him, but he's certain that No is the right answer. That's not all he wants to know. " If you mean your anger, no. It's not. " This time there's firmer conviction as Lucifer seems to slot together pieces and concepts of what has been said.

It would be better if it were another though. This Lucifer knows. Because Lucifer will not always be there, and they stand on sides of a line that Lucifer will die before crossing over. His freedom, his free will, that is his. He has ripped it from God's hands and burned and fallen for it. No matter what Michael could say or do, no matter what what beautiful picture he could conjure....it would not happen. Lucifer will not beg for forgiveness, he will not condemn that which he feels is right. And Michael....Michael should never fall. No matter if Lucifer might finally feel he is not alone, soaring miles above anyone else. No matter if it meant company. He does not think Michael could endure it, nor Heaven itself

" But what is it you want, Michael? " Lucifer asks, softer. Do you want me to anger you till you feel nothing but hatred and contempt? What is it that you want of me? A feather falls, dispersing into gold dust the moment it falls upon the earth, Lucifer lets a quiet sigh slip past his lips, and then crosses the space to press a butterfly soft kiss to Michael's forehead. He demands nothing more, takes nothing more. Only gives before he steps back, proud wings folding themselves smaller once more.

[thel0re]

centuries  ago,  min  su-jin  had  a  tragic  human  life.  his  father  died  a  few  days  after  he  was  born  from  being  attacked  when  he  tried  to  steal  some  food  due  to  his  family  lacking  money.  growing  up,  his  mother  sold  herself  in  order  to  be  able  to  afford  food  and  whatever  they  needed  so  she  could  raise  her  son.  however,  one  night  when  he  came  home  from  school,  he  found  his  mother  dead.  she  was  killed  by  a  man  who  snuck  into  their  home  demanding  service,  and  she  refused.  leaving  su-jin  all  alone.  it  was  when  he  first  experience  tragedy  and  the  need  for  revenge.

as  he  got  older,  it  was  tough.  he  had  to  make  money  in  some  way,  so  as  a  kid  he  would  work  on  the  streets.  doing  anything  he  possibly  could.  even  at  times,  he'd  go  by  the  palace,  asking  for  a  job.  but  he  was  too  young.  but  by  the  time  he  got  old  enough,  they  eventually  gave  in  and  he  started  working  in  the  palace.

from  being  a  servant,  he  started  training  to  be  a  soldier.  and  this  is  where  it  took  another  turn  for  the  worst.  being  a  servant  in  the  palace  wasn't  all  it  was  up  to  be.  he  was  beaten  every  time  he  made  a  simple  mistake.  hardening  his  heart.  and  when  he  served  as  a  palace  soldier,  training  just  meant  beating  him  when  he  was  already  down.  but  this  is  when  he  met  the  man  who  murdered  his  mother.  so  he  planned  a  slow  revenge.  earning  his  trust  up  until  they  were  out  alone  and  he  gave  the  man  a  slow  painful  death.  but  even  then,  his  need  for  revenge  only  grew.  all  the  torment...  the  beatings...  he  made  his  way  back  to  the  palace  and  murdered  everyone.  he  saw  red.  and  that's  when  he  was  visited  by  lucifer.

meeting  lucifer  at  his  worst,  it  made  deals  sound  appealing.  being  able  to  take  souls  and  bring  them  to  hell.  so...  he  agreed  and  became  a  demon.  served  him  in  the  shadows  for  centuries.  learning  how  to  collect  souls  without  hellhounds.  just  a  snap  of  his  fingers  and  he  would  use  natural  causes.  no  one  would  suspect  a  thing. 

but  things  always  changed.  su-jin  wasn't  loyal  to  anyone  but  himself.  he  was  a  demon  after  all.  all  he  cared  about  was  collecting  souls  and  just  going  by.  the  winchesters  coming  in  to  play,  he  stayed  back  watching  everything  unfold.  watching  as  lucifer  came  out,  michael  vs  lucifer,  all  of  it.  it  was  only  till  later  in  the  years  did  he  make  himself  known.  he  didn't  have  loyalties.  he  would  hear  plans  and  give  it  to  the  ones  he  knows  would  always  win.  didn't  mean  that  he  was  their  friend.  as  long  as  he  got  to  continue  what  he  wanted  to  do...  well....  he  didn't  care  about  much  else.

[maggot-monger]

attempt to match lucifer’s timeline to sam’s timeline with the information available in kripke’s seasons, take umpteen

(disclaimer 1: events in sam and lucifer’s lives don’t need to match one to one, just as their personalities don’t need to match one to one; there are multiple ways to read the parallels that all work in their own ways; this is just entertaining to me atm. disclaimer 2: there’s other information about lucifer’s timeline in later seasons that i’m consciously not taking into consideration here.)

events addressed: azazel feeding sam his blood, stanford, john’s pilot disappearance, dean and sam reuniting in the pilot, john’s death, season 4, the panic room

azazel feeding sam his blood: this was the event that marked sam out as different, that set the stage for him being branded a monster, that precipitated the departure from stability and white picket fence happy family-ness for the winchesters. since, again, i’m not doing moc stuff here, the thing that this seems the most like from lucifer’s life is the creation of humanity. this is what precipitated lucifer’s rebellion, what caused him to do things that others would describe as monstrous, and potentially introduced discord and fear in heaven’s ranks. it’s hard to say what the archangels’ relationship with god was like before the creation of humanity, but backreading from the winchesters’ timeline, it seems like there might have been some feeling of lost paradise wherein god was once more like pre-mary’s-death john when things were good, after which he became colder and harsher. with sam as the lucifer parallel, would lucifer even have been around to remember a time when god was like this, since dean is the only one of the two of them who remembers a more normal home life? idk. but in any case there seems to be a parallel here of these being incidents that destabilized comfort and safety and ultimately led to fathers’ orders for sam and lucifer to be killed by dean and michael respectively due to corruption and monstrousness. (there’s also something here about god ordering the angels to prioritize the humans over him that seems like a parallel to john prioritizing killing azazel over everything? these orders being the things that lucifer and sam respectively started their rebellions against)

stanford: for sam, stanford was a willful choice to leave his upbringing behind in the pursuit of a different future he wanted for himself. he got told not to come back if he leaves, but he still decided to go (and it’s implied that he continued to be in contact with at least dean and probably also john for two years past his departure). there is no clear moment in kripke-era lucifer’s timeline that parallels this: it’s never stated that he ever took off of his own volition prior to being locked in the cage. the cage is understandably often cited as the parallel, which makes sense because that is when lucifer got removed most decisively from his family, but for sam what is most narratively salient about stanford is that it was freedom he chose and actually got to experience, whereas what is most salient about the cage is that it was imprisonment for lucifer that was forced upon him (you can argue that lucifer chose it because he chose to do everything that led to it which is fair but the freedom vs imprisonment outcomes are very different and seem relevant). so i’m going to suggest that lucifer’s time spent tempting and corrupting lilith is the stanford era parallel: this was lucifer’s moment of willful disobedience, choosing to go against orders in order to learn more about humanity (something that was implicitly part of sam’s college experience as well, just differently) that made his family turn on him, but perhaps stay somewhat in contact with him. it’s never specified in s1-5 whether lucifer was banished before he was put in the cage, but it seems plausible that he might have been, or, alternatively, that he left heaven for a while of his own volition in order to commit to “studying” humanity. (additional parallel? depending on when you think gabriel left, this is also where the sam-gabriel parallels happen — lucifer doesn’t need to have left or been banished during this time for there to be a voluntary split within the heaven family)

“dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days” aka john’s disappearance: pretty straightforwardly, this is god leaving. john left dean in charge of his clients and keeping everything running while he went no-contact; god left michael in charge of the angels and keeping everything running while he went no-contact.

dean’s return, the years sam and dean spent hunting together: i would argue that there is no parallel, explicit or implied, for this with lucifer’s timeline, and that the growth in sam and dean’s relationship during this time is ultimately part of why lucifer and michael ended up not being great parallels for sam and dean by the time the apocalypse was happening.

john’s death: again, i don’t know if there’s a good parallel for this. god leaves, part 2? idk

season 4: kind of the corruption of lilith part 2? sam during this time is once again doing something dean does not think is a good idea; something ugly and corrupting that sam nonetheless believes is for the best. from how lucifer talks about his own actions, it seems like it would be not unreasonable to assume he felt similarly about lilith (corrupting her being not only vengeful, but also an attempt to provide evidence of god’s mistake in glorifying humanity so much — it’s a demonstration of power, but it also can be seen as an attempt at doing the right thing in a complicated situation). dean disagrees with sam; sam tries to hide it — it seems plausible that michael would have issued warnings to lucifer and that lucifer would have tried to hide what he was doing, to the extent that he was able, in order to be able to get far enough with his experiments to make his point about humanity.

4.21 when the levee breaks/dean locks sam in the panic room: cage. “you fucked up; you’re a monster; you need to get put away so you can’t hurt anyone else or yourself with this anymore.” difficulties because this was not a john command for dean, but it is kind of an extension of john telling dean he has to kill sam if he can’t save him, so close enough? additionally, the release of sam from the panic room and the release of lucifer from the cage are things that seem like a bad idea because they lead directly to a lot of bad shit (sam inadvertently releasing lucifer from the cage when he gets out of the panic room, and lucifer killing a lot of people and sicking the horsemen on the world, respectively), but that are necessary to make fate play out correctly, and that were orchestrated deliberately by heaven.

so, ok. as i said before, there are a lot of ways to draw parallels differently of course and idk if this is even my favorite (and ofc things play out differently if you’re including the moc in your lore), but the lucifer story being told here, essentially, is this: once upon a time god was a good and caring father and heaven was a happy place where angels were safe and loved. then the fire nation attacked humanity was created, which was the starting point of heaven falling apart and not being a happy home anymore. god issued the command that humanity was to be the priority now, which did not sit right with lucifer, who started picking at lilith to see what was so great about humans/to prove that they were flawed by corrupting them. this lead to god becoming more distant and angels becoming more fearful, because danger and discord had been introduced to their previously more stable family dynamic. god might have issued warnings; michael almost definitely tried to get lucifer to back off; lucifer did not back off. eventually, two things happened: god left, and michael put lucifer in the cage (unclear from kripke canon which definitively came first, and not super clear even with this interpretation of the parallels between sam and lucifer’s lives either). lucifer suffered in the cage, and then was released from the cage on heaven’s orders with the full understanding that releasing him would cause bigger problems before it solved anything.

[aoitrinity]

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it. 

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in. 

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length. 

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages. 

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money. 

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments. 

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve. 

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s half Demon, and they look AWFULLY familiar...

‘Kay guys, I got a different kind of stupid Headcanon to throw at you. Get ready!

Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

*ahem* picture if you will, it’s the day the exchange program is set to start. The student council (nix Mr. Kill All Humans, Weeb-supreme, and our Scummy Sweetheart) have assembled to welcome the new human student. All is going according to schedule, the portal opens up at eight am sharp, they hear the pitiful screams of the selected human who was not given a heads up about the whole thing, and the poor little human falls straight onto the marble floor.

There’s something a tad... off about this human don’t you think? After they’ve peeled their sorry ass off the floor they observed the assembled student council with an air of sophistication and self importance that no one expected. Their posture was perfect, their eyes sharp and calculating... they bared a striking resemblance to-

“Lucifer,” Diavolo looked to his right hand man, then back to the human. “The human kind of looks like you!”

And out popped four pitch black wings from the human’s back and two small horns out of the sides of their head, one horn was a bit bigger than the other. They even still had some of their down feathers! How cute!

((Content warning: Swearing (I have a potty mouth, forgive me), but that’s it.))

Luci-dad

So, the MC is Lucifer’s kid! Of course Mr. Prideypants immediately tries to recall exactly what little romp in the human world uh... spawned this half-human half-demon child of his. Good thing MC’s got the other parent on speed-dial.

“Please note, MC,” Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose upon hearing Asmo take even more pictures of his newly discovered hellspawn. “I was not aware of your existence, if I was I’d-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset.”

Lucifer blinked a few times in surprise. “P...pardon? You aren’t upset?”

“No, my parent told me that my father was a high ranking demon, and they bare no ill will against you. Though, I am looking forward to this whole... exchange program thing.”

Oh wow, that was easier than Lucifer thought. Damn. Well, he was a father... (let’s be real, he’s been parenting his brothers for thousands of years, and a good chunk of you sinners call him daddy)

MC is probably the most protected student at RAD, despite the fact that they have no visible security detail whatsoever. They didn’t want to be seen as... weak and pathetic.

Something about this human just... set the lesser demons on edge. Any talk of eating them was stamped out on the first day when they walked by. It’s like Lucifer himself was staring at them, daring the demons to try and bother the human. MC’s powerful presence kept them protected and feared.

...at least until dear uncle Asmo decided to do their hair one morning. All those ribbons may have looked adorable but they kind of ruined the intimidation factor.

MC loved to mess with the other students, keeping their lineage a secret for the first little while just made it so much funnier when the other demons tried to scramble out of MC’s way without looking like they were running from the ‘weak little human exchange student’.

Oh wow, what a sadist. Like father like child

Flying lessons are a must. Poor MC isn’t terribly good at controlling their wings, and their horns are still growing in so when they pop into their demon form the first thing they get is a sore skull. Ow... it sucks that Lucifer isn’t outwardly very sympathetic.

“Ow!” MC crashed face first into the grass in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. “Father! My wings are cramping! Can’t we practice this tomorrow?”

The sight of seeing his dear child crash face first into the ground had lost its hilarity after the first three times. Lucifer slowly lowered himself to the ground and crossed his arms as he stood over his incredibly grass-stained kid.

“MC, we’ve been ‘practicing this tomorrow’ for the past month. If you want to learn to fly you’re going to have to actually manage to stay in the air for more than three minutes.”

MC shot Lucifer a withering glare that only preteens were capable of, Lucifer matched it with his own much more sophisticated glare.

“You’ve been flying for over a thousand years! Don’t you have any tips that can actually help other than ‘don’t panic, you’ll look ridiculous’?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face and looked around, the two were alone as far as he could see.

“MC,” Lucifer began. “When I was a young angel, I needed to learn how to fly with someone else.”

MC perked up. “Who?”

“Michael. The smug bastard picked up flying quicker than I did.”

“What’d you do?!”

Lucifer smiled at his child’s intense investment. “I practiced flying every day for five extra hours until I could do everything that Michael could do, just better.”

MC’s starry eyed interest died almost instantly upon hearing about the extra five hours of practice. “Humph, I bet I could outfly younger you and Michael with only two hours of practice a day.”

“Really now?”

“Yes! Watch!” MC shook off their wings and took off in a running start before shakily making it into the air. Their form was decent enough, and they weren’t shaking as much as the previous attempts. “SEE?!”

“Yes MC,” Lucifer smiled. “I can see.”

You know what else Lucifer could see? MC crashing right into a tree.

“Ouch...”

Okay... maybe they could halt practice a little early and order a treat from Madame Scream’s. A little sugar to refuel is needed when the end goal is crushing a mutual rival beneath their heels. Just some good old fashioned father/child bonding time!

MC has a smaller seat right next to Lucifer’s seat in the Assembly Hall. I will not compromise on this one.

For all your fluff needs, I give you: Lucifer teaching MC how to play the piano. He has a proud little smile on his face when his kid finally starts getting it. That’s all. Enjoy the image.

That one Uncle who gives you Alcohol at Family Gatherings (Mammon)

Yeah, when Mammon burst in late to the party and whining about everyone’s spamming him with texts to haul his scummy ass to the Assembly Hall, the last thing he expected was to see a mini-Lucifer.

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?!”

The glare the two Lucifers gave the poor Avatar of Greed was enough to make him want to turn tail (uh, wing) and book it down the hall.

“Mammon, this is MC. They’re my child.”

“Hello.”

“...whaaaa..?” Mammon looked between the two, same glare, same intimidating aura, same annoyingly good posture.

Mammon scratched the back of his neck and looked over at his older brother. “Do I uh... still gotta babysit em’ if they’re not human?”

“The lake of Cocytus will melt the day I let you babysit without supervision.” Lucifer grumbled.

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

Despite Lucifer’s initial denial, Mammon and MC ended up spending a lot of time hanging out when Lucifer was busy with paperwork. Of course Mammon’s first thought was ‘how do I profit off this situation?’

MC is now Mammon’s designated babysitter after they caught him picking up their feathers that had fallen off with the intention of painting them white and claiming they were Lucifer’s from back in the Celestial Realm.

Mammon does end up spoiling MC a little. Just a smidge. They’re the kid of his totally not his favourite brother after all! How could he not? Whether or not these gifts are obtained legally or are legal at all is subject to scrutiny.

“Mammon, I can’t drink this!” MC placed the bottle of Demonus back on the counter of the kitchen.

“Why not? That’s a bottle of the good stuff! We gotta celebrate you gettin’ an A on that test somehow!”

“I’m underage! Incredibly underage. I’m not legally allowed to drink.”

Mammon wordlessly plopped a silly straw into the bottle. “...does that help?”

“No.” MC then inclined their head to the bottle. “And I don’t want to get hung from the ceiling, that bottle was in my father’s study yesterday, I’m above theft.”

“How old are you s’posed to be anyway? Never mind... uh...” Mammon wracked his brain for something else he could do for MC that didn’t cost anything (don’t judge him, the poor bastard was flat broke!). “I could... teach you to drive!”

“Driving?”

“Yeah! Drivin’ is awesome! We can take my car!”

The bills for the damages done to the car and the Devildom were mailed to Lucifer the next day, and MC and Mammon got to keep each other company as they hung from the ceiling. Ah well! At least MC wasn’t upside down!

Mammon wasn’t that good of a flight teacher either, he also crashed into a tree (the same tree MC crashed into, actually) when he was cheering for MC. They were finally able to do a loopdy loop! He was proud and distracted! Okay?! Lucifer! Stop smirkin’ at him! It’s not that funny!

At least the vantage point from the tree was decent and the branches didn’t scratch him up too badly. Oh hey... that person walking by was wearing a very nice watch... he’d be right back-

That Uncle That is Always Absent From Family Gatherings and When He is Present He Leaves Early (Levi)

He missed everything. That is not an exaggeration. He was in the middle of an online raid battle and couldn’t look at his phone! No Lucifer he can’t pause an online game! That’s not how it works!

Okay, the human exchange student is half demon? WOAH! THAT’S JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME- W A I T. THE LITTLE NORMIE IS LUCIFER’S KID?!

Okie doke, he was fully convinced that MC just had to be an anime protagonist.

They binged every series that Levi compared them to. Sure MC might have missed a few assignments because of late night anime binges, but they were too good for this school crap anyway, right?

Nope. Lucifer put a ban on the two watching anime until both their grades improved. Surviving that hell brought the two together.

“Ugh!”

The sound of a pencil case being haphazardly thrown across the room made Levi peek out of his bed-tub. If his figurines got knocked over so HELP HIM-

“This is stupid!!I shouldn’t have to catch up with this!” MC crossed their arms and gave their Demonology textbook their best disapproving glare.

Lucifer Lite (tm) was having a hell of a time trying to claw through their missed work, and Levi sympathized, he really did, it’s just... he was playing Animal Crossing-

Levi paused the game to placate his anime-buddy when their wings popped out and he feared for his rare merch’s safety.

“H-hey, MC? Do you need help?” Levi’s offer was met with a bone chilling glare that lived rent free in his nightmares ever since. He had pulled a Mammon and forgotten he was talking to Lucifer’s child. Lucifer’s allergy to help must have passed down to MC.

“No! I don’t! It’s just... dumb!” MC hissed, she turned and looked over at the fish tank. “Right Henry 2.0?”

Henry 2.0 did not respond.

“MC, you need to finish your homework or we can’t watch anything together,” Levi sighed, he had finished his work over an hour earlier. He had mastered the art of all night anime binges and managing to do most of his work in the fifteen minutes between the time he woke up and the time school was supposed to begin. “We haven’t even binged all of volume 4 of TSL yet!”

“Mmm...” MC grumbled. “Fine...”

MC picked up their pencil case and began continued their work. Levi breathed a sigh of relief and went back to Animal Crossing.

The tiny normie did in fact finish their work, only after they caved and asked Levi for help. Swore him to secrecy, they did... very intimidating, they were.

Just saying, he most definitely sent that one Keanu Reeves meme with big Keanu and little Keanu but with Lucifer and MC to the wrong group chat. Poor bastard.

Flying lessons? No. Levi hadn’t flown since his time in the Celestial Realm, he had no advice to give other than: “Flap your wings!”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING YOU-”

MC didn’t get to finish that thought, they lost their balance and fell right into RAD’s fountain. Ah well, Levi had a head start on running for his life that he squandered by laughing at MC. RIP.

The Uncle/brother/whatever the fuck that Starts a Fight With Your Dad at the Family Reunion. (Satan)

Oh... another Lucifer? Eugh. Gross.

Satan gave the kid a wide berth when they first met. Everything the kid said or did ticked him off. “Tsk. Look at MC. Making an omelette. So annoying.” “Oh wow, MC vacuumed? Roll out the red carpet, we need to celebrate their existence!” “Look at them. Breathing. Disgusting.”

MC’s pride wouldn’t ever let them admit it but... they knew Satan didn’t like them, and it hurt their feelings.

“Shhhh,” Satan whispered into his backpack.

“Meow.” The backpack replied.

“I said shhhhh.”

The backpack did not reply after that, which was a good thing considering the little princet of the HOL was nearby.

“Satan?” They asked. “Who are you talking to?”

Satan coldly brushed past them as he made his way to his room. “No one you need to concern yourself with.”

When the little calico kitten was safe in his room, Satan quickly realized a mistake in his foolproof ‘sneak a cat into the house’ plan. He didn’t have any toys for the kitten, and he didn’t want his books getting scratched...

It was alright, he’d just rush out to the a store that sold cat things and rush back! Five minute trip tops!

Well when Satan got back the cat was no longer in the room. Oh dear. He discreetly tore apart the house looking for the poor little thing until he ended up finding it in the library, happily chasing around a loose feather being held up by MC.

“Oh, hello Satan.” MC chirped as the kitten batted it’s adorable little paws at the feather.

“My... my door was closed. Did you let the cat out?”

MC shrugged. “I heard meowing.”

Satan ran a hand through his hair and grumbled. Stupid smaller Lucifer. Stupid original Lucifer. Everyone sucked.

“Let me guess, you’re going to run to Lucifer and tell him all about the meowing and the rule breaking.”

MC shook their head and glared at Satan. “Of course not. I’ve already gotten way too attached to this little guy anyway. We’re co-parenting this kitten like mature adults.”

With some coaxing, Satan did sit down and play with the kitten, maybe MC wasn’t... so terrible.

The two watch Unsolved Mysteries together, that’s their show. “This guy did it.” “Satan, we’re two minutes into the episode-” “Trust me.”

Thirty minutes later.

“He did it.” “See MC, what’d I tell you?”

Lucifer did find out about the cat, but with enough pleading, MC and Satan managed to warm up the cold spot in Lucifer’s chest where his heart should have been. The cat’s name is Detective Toe Beans (or just Bean).

Satan can’t fly, he has a tail, but he did read up on wing anatomy and how flight actually works in demons, his advice would be good in theory, but it’s full of so much technical jargon that MC can’t understand it.

At least MC didn’t crash into something, they barrel rolled through one of the HOL’s windows. Good thing it was the window to their room. The broken arm still hurt like hell.

The Best Dressed Bitch Who Brings The Booze to The Reunion. (Asmo)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Lucifer’s kid was SO CUTE! A thousand pictures commemorating that adorable moment needed to be taken! Wait- Lucifer- GIVE BACK THE PHONE-

Asmo, surprise surprise, absolutely adores little MC! So cute! So small! He was just so excited to announce to all his Devilgram followers that Lucifer was finally a certified DILF.

That post disappeared five minutes after it was made but the damage had already been done.

Asmo made sure MC looked their best at all times, if they needed help talking to anyone? Asmo’s got their back!

Sure, maybe he’s a little pushy, but pushy’s a good thing sometimes, right?

“Asmodeus-”

“No, these shoes wouldn’t fit you...”

“Asmo-”

“No, not these ones either...”

“ASMODEUS.”

Asmo squeaked and jumped upwards, Geez Louise... little MC’s voice could sure be scary when they wanted it to be...

“I don’t need any fancy new shoes.” MC huffed, sitting up straighter in one of the chairs in Asmo’s room. “I thought this was supposed to be a sleepover.”

“Hmmm...” Asmo pouted. “Makeovers are an essential part of sleepovers... what’d you do with your human friends up in the human world that could possibly be better than a make-over?!”

MC began to list things off. “Ordered junk food, talked about people we hated, watched movies,”

“Greasy food is so bad for your skin...” Asmo cringed and shook his head violently. “But I’m totally down to watch a movie and bitch about people I hate!”

“Ah yes, human sleepovers, a tradition I never quite had the chance to enjoy.” Solomon said from Asmo’s bed. “Who are we bitching about?”

“Remind me what Solomon is doing here.” MC muttered as they sat down in front of Asmo’s TV.

“Because, I wanted to hang out with my two favourite humans.” Asmo cooed, reaching over and trying to pinch MC’s cheek, which they awkwardly dodged.

“Can we watch The Exorcist?” Solomon asked, propping his head up with his hands.

“Ew, no.” Asmo made a face at him. “That scene with the vomit? Hell NO.”

“Mm.” MC mumbled. Asmo turned to look at them.

“MC? Are you doing okay? You don’t look like you’re having any fun...”

“I’m fine.” MC grumbled.

Asmo pursed his lips, as much as it made his little narcissistic heart break, he nudged MC. “Why don’t you pick the movie, sweetie. I’m sure Solomon and I will like anything you pick!”

MC noticeably brightened. “Let’s watch Scream!”

The strangled noise that came from Asmo was... concerning, but to his credit, The Avatar of Lust held his tongue about his distaste for the movie, and the three slumber-party goers had quite the lovely time.

After the movie ended, MC went back to their room, sure it was a sleepover but their bed was right down the hall.

Good for Asmo and Solomon. Horny fuckers. We stan.

Asmo just claps and tries to cheer MC on when it comes to their flying lessons. (The idea that Asmo came up with to wear his cheerleader costume from the previous Halloween was immediately shot down by Lucifer)

“You’re doing wonderful, MC- WATCH OUT FOR THE POWER LINE!”

MC didn’t hit the power line, but Asmo’s scream of terror caused them to fall butt-first into a dumpster. Their injured tailbone served as a tragic memory of the incident.

Oh well, good thing Asmo had nice smelling soap to give that could mask dumpster-stink.

The Uncle that eats everything and tells you to eat your veggies while you angrily pick at your broccoli at the kid’s table. (Beel)

Lucifer... has a kid?! Beel choked on the cheetos he had snuck into the Assembly Hall when the kid’s wings popped out.

Oh wow, that’s nice :) maybe they can eat together. Belphie would probably like them.

Wait what is the gender neutral term for Niece or Nephew?

...Nibling? Uh... let’s not say that around Beel. We don’t need him to get hungrier and begin associating MC with nibbling on things.

The Underground Tomb incident probably went a little differently, but after all that nonsense, the two are closer than two peas in a pod!

Mmm... peas...

“Beel?” MC stepped into the Avatar of Gluttony’s room.

“Hi MC.” Beel was doing push-ups in the middle of the room, on the ground right beneath his head was a massive bowl of spaghetti that he bit into every time he completed a push-up. “Can you come stand on my back? I need the extra weight.”

“On your back?” MC padded closer. “Are you sure? It’s not going to hurt?”

“No, it’ll be okay.” Beel assured them. “Belphie and I did this all the time. Except Belphie is normally asleep.”

MC tentatively stepped onto Beel’s back. It was a balancing act to say the least, they eventually gave up on standing and ended up sitting cross legged between Beel’s shoulder blades.

“You did this with Belphegor?” MC asked.

“Yeah,” Beel sighed. “He was always too tired to exercise, but he’d let me bench press him sometimes...”

MC frowned and hugged their knees to their chest. Knowing full well that Beel’s twin wasn’t in the human world like Lucifer said was absolutely ripping them apart from the inside. Guilt felt just as rotten as their pride did when they were being belittled...

“Maybe you’ll see him again sometime soon.” MC whispered. “Maybe my father’ll come to his senses and let him come back down to the Devildom.”

Beel paused his push-ups for a brief moment, then nodded and went back to his eating exercising combo. “I hope so. He’ll like you, MC. I’m sure of it.”

MC nodded. “I... hope so.”

Beel’s a pretty decent flight teacher, but his wings are just so different from MC’s that it renders any tips he had next to useless.

“MC, maybe your wings aren’t flapping fast enough.”

“Beel, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not a hummingbird. Or a fly. I don’t need to flap my wings a million times a minute to stay afloat.”

Ah well, MC tried to take some of Beel’s advice, but their lower right wing cramped up and they ended up flying in circles until Beel was able to catch them. Ah well, better than the dumpster incident the previous week.

The Uncle That Passes Out in The Basement and You’re Not Allowed to Wake Him Up Even Though All Your Toys and Video Games Are Down There. He Also Picks a Fight With Your Dad’s New S/O Before He Passes Out. (Belphie)

Sitting in the attic was quite a drag, and this supposedly weak little human was quite the annoyance to try and call out to. It took a lot longer than expected, but when he heard little footsteps coming towards his prison, Belphegor nearly jumped with joy.

Oh... it... looked like Lucifer. Smelled like Lucifer. Stood like Lucifer. Quacked like Lucifer. Or... trilled..? Whatever sound a peacock made, this brat sounded an awful lot like Lucifer.

A... half-demon. Hmph. Belphie honestly thought Lucifer had actual standards. Not anymore, he guessed.

(Man I could fill a whole-ass fic with the Belphie betrayal thing, but for now let’s skip to post attic nonsense)

Okay so maybe MC wasn’t disgusting. They made a good nap buddy. It was cute when their wings came out when they were sleeping sometimes. Well... it was cute when they didn’t hit him in the face and make him wake up with his mouth full of feathers.

What Beel said had been true, Belphie made a good substitute when weights weren’t available, but Beel didn’t want MC to feel left out, so Belphie and MC ended up sitting on his back while he did push ups. MC once got bored and started playing Go Fish with Belphie on Beel’s back while he exercised.

Yes. MC is still a member of the Formerly-Anti-Lucifer League.

“Are you sure he’s not going to be too mad at us?” MC asked for the dozenth time that day. Detective Toe Beans was wrapped around their neck like a scarf (he had gotten so big!!!) while MC nervously sat in one of the Library chairs.

“Positive.” Belphie said with a toothy grin. “Besides, he’s like putty when it comes to you. Just give him your best puppy eyes and we’re not guilty on all charges.”

Putty..? Really..? Lucifer..? How strict was he before MC got there... they wondered.

“Sh! He’s coming!” Satan stuck his nose into a random book, it was the Oxford English Dictionary... and it was upside down.

Belphie pretended to pass out and MC decided that the best course of action was to stare deeply into their cat’s eyes. Yeah... that looked casual and not weird.

“Satan, MC, Belphie.” Lucifer nodded to the three of them as he walked towards the entrance to his study.

“Lucifer.”

“Afternoon, father.”

Belphie let out a cartoonishly loud fake snore that nearly caused both MC and Satan to break cover and start laughing.

Side note, Bean had adorable widdle eyes! That cute little face was just to die for-

“You three..!”

Belphie, Satan, and MC peeked their heads into Lucifer’s study, their handiwork was perfect. Everything was covered in red post it notes. Perfectly not harmful, but SO inconvenient!

“You’re all cleaning this up or so help me-”

“GO!” Belphie and Satan each grabbed one of MC’s arms (Satan also grabbed Bean) and sprinted out of the House of Lamentation. Maybe they’d move back there in twenty years... they hoped that Solomon and The Angels would let them crash at Purgatory Hall...

Belphie had used up his physical energy supply for the next four years. He passed out the moment they stepped into sanctuary. Time for a nap...

Flight practice? Ha. Belphie’s napping. Though, he was suspiciously awake and filming whenever MC did something stupid.

“Try not to suck so bad.”

“GO TO HELL BELPHIE!”

“I’m already there. Hell is every second I’m stuck here watching you fail.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT FOR THAT!”

Well... MC mastered the dive bomb that day. Lucifer bought them a cake.

Bonus! Your Dad’s New Husband! That Has Managed to Somehow Make Everyone Hate Him Despite the Fact That He’s A Cinnamon Roll. (Diavolo)

A mini Lucifer? A mini Lucifer!

Diavolo dotes on MC like he’d dote on his own kid. MC wants a crown? They’re getting a crown! A damn nice one too! MC wants a title? Here! MC is now... idk Ruler of the area between Majolish and Hell’s Kitchen.

Poor Uncle Mammon’s got some financial insecurity, he’s still the cool uncle... right?!

He is very much that ‘how do you do fellow kids?’ Meme.

He tries to do stereotypical ‘dad’ things but he’s not very good at them. Once he tried to host a barbecue...

Barbatos saved the day, but Mammon’s hair was still singed, Solomon’s cooking still gave Beel food poisoning (SOLOMON EATS TOXIC WASTE I SWEAR-), Luke still got hit in the face with a frisbee, and Simeon got an unhealthy dose of DAD NERVES and got so stressed everyone was almost blinded by the holy light he suddenly started blasting. We do not mention the water guns.

(Seriously whose bright idea was it to give Belphie and Satan water guns while they were in Lucifer’s presence?)

Praise Barbie. He’s too good for them.

“Um...” MC awkwardly held up the baseball, trying to look at it from all angles like it was a completely alien object. “Lord Diavolo... are you sure you want to play catch?”

Diavolo clapped his hands and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Yes! It’s a thing human fathers do with their children, correct? We must make up for lost time between you and Lucifer, right?”

Lucifer massaged his temples and nodded. “If you two would like to play catch...” Lucifer grimaced. “I will too.”

“Okay! MC, throw the ball to Lucifer!” Diavolo instructed.

Lucifer half heartedly held up his baseball glove as MC tossed him the ball. He caught it, and looked over at Diavolo, who was applauding like he just witnessed the greatest feat in sports history.

“Okay! Throw it to me!” Diavolo waved his glove in the air, Lucifer rolled his eyes and smiled. He threw the ball at Diavolo with... a lot of force. Enough force to probably dent steel... Diavolo caught it like it was nothing.

MC suddenly feared for their safety.

“Okay MC, catch!”

Diavolo threw the ball with enough force to break the god damn sound barrier. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the ball sailed way over MC’s head and crashed right through a window.

“Oh my...” Diavolo put a hand on his hip and surveyed the damage to the window. “This isn’t so bad, I believe in human world TV shows this happens quite often. Look! The glass broke in a perfect circle!”

“Yay... property damage...” MC murmured.

Lucifer sighed and pulled out his DDD. “I’ll phone someone to replace the win-”

“Lucifer no! Now according to human world customs we must,” Diavolo took a deep breath, rushed forward, grabbed both Lucifer and MC’s hands and started sprinting away from the Demon Lord’s Castle. “RUN FOR IT!”

“Di- Diavolo!” Lucifer gasped.

“Who are we running from?! That’s your castle!” MC squeaked.

“I don’t know! Just run! That’s what the human TV show says to do!”

Weirdly enough, Diavolo was the best flight instructor. MC’s ability to fly increased tenfold after Diavolo found out that MC was learning to fly.

“You’re doing amazing MC! That was a perfect turn!”

“Thanks Lord Diavolo, I’m surprised I haven’t crashed into anyone or fallen yet!”

“Well, I highly doubt you’ll be crashing into anyone anymore, your flying is practically perfect now!”

Mammon proceeded to fly past them holding what looked like Lucifer’s wallet.

“M-mammon?!”

“Oh... I wonder what he’s doing. Look, MC! It’s Lucifer! Hello Lucifer dea-”

Lucifer ended up colliding with the two of them and sending them all crashing to the floor.

That was the last time MC fell during flying practice.

(We currently have a Go Fund Me set up for Mammon to get the funds necessary to flee the Devildom after that incident. Please donate to save- oh shit hi Lucifer-)

[waywardsummoner46]

Welcome Home, Sister

Prologue

Summary: God created four archangels for war... but what of a fifth for peace? One that no one is aware of? One that was lost many millennia ago and has been reincarnated into you? 

Word count: 610

Next Chapter

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At the dawn of time, peace seemed eternal. This was simply because only God and The Darkness existed. It was completely serene and nothing was problematic… until God became bored. 

  He decided that having an entire universe full to the brim with nothing just wouldn’t do, so he got out his paintbrush and filled his canvas. It began filling with mediocre things at first but gradually it became more precious, Amara however (being the Darkness after all) decided that she didn’t like what her brother was creating and began a war that would be brutal.

  As a result, God created the archangels: Michael came first, the most powerful and loyal of them all, God’s leader. Then came Lucifer, the most devoted and loving son who would do anything for his father, God’s Morningstar. Next was Raphael, he was the most brutal and violent of them all, God’s Warrior. He was followed by Gabriel, the brightest and kindest of them all, God’s messenger. 

  Each of them fought against the Darkness bravely and ultimately won the battle, locking her with a mark which he entrusted to his most beloved son, Lucifer. This proved to be a mistake as Lucifer’s behavior gradually worsened, grew more violent and brash. The mark corrupted him and the tipping point was when God began his biggest project: the human race.

  God had made angels since then before he needed a foundation for them, so he pieced together Earth as a little setting for them but he also crafted the human soul. A glowing and mesmerizing little thing that looked so delicate compared to angelic grace. He spent so much time with his creation, picking out the flaws and what-not, that Lucifer’s descent into evilness remained unnoticed until God made the order for every angel to protect and to worship them as they did, him. 

  Lucifer was dead set on persisting how bad of an idea this was, how flawed humans were that he attempted to enlist his older brother, Michael’s help. Michael gave him the complete opposite answer of what he was expecting and, feeling betrayed, rebelled individually. It was short-lived because Michael was ordered to banish Lucifer from Heaven and locked him deep within Hell in a cage with 66 seals.

  Because of all of these issues, God abandoned Heaven and disappeared to Earth, leaving Michael in charge of its garrisons. Gabriel, despising it in Heaven and barely able to look at his brothers without the sore reminder of Lucifer, left Heaven as well and went into witness protection - he ran away in other words.

  Raphael remained with his brethren and focused and trained to become an even more fierce warrior than ever before.

  What not one angel noticed, was that God had created the grace for a fifth archangel, one that he was creating as a backup plan if things ended up turning extremely sour. Believe it or not, this wasn’t the exact kind of sour he had in mind. Although, an unfortunate mishap happened whilst he was still adapting the timelines. The grace got transported to an undetectable point in time and would only resurface when it was reincarnated in the form of one (Y/N) Winchester.

  Knowing that all he merely had to do was wait, Chuck Shurley continued writing and writing until a rupture in the universe’s balance caused him to pause at his computer. 250 billion years after Lucifer fell and his devious plot was all coming together.

  With a smirk, he settled back into his work and began tying the upcoming years together in a tight, tight knot, completely unaware of how much things would go sideways with the Winchesters.

__________________________________________________________

The link to the original one shot is here

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please bear with me, I know this isn’t the expected prologue but it’s a vague introduction to a much more interesting plot. Part one will be out tomorrow if you’re interested and as always thanks again and be sure to give me feedback :) If you want to be added to my taglist, just drop a comment or ask me on my blog!

Taglist ~

@nerdettezebracorn333​

@kickingitwithkirk​

[fluffywolverine]

so season 6 of lucifer came out.

there were some things that i liked, but generally i hated it. i believe that was SUCH. BAD. WRITING and it left me frustrated. so i decided to write down all things that pissed me off and sometimes i try to fix this by giving other ideas that – in my opinion – would have made the story better. Check my points out and feel free to add your points of view. without further ado: let’s talk.

- imma start with the big one – fucking time travel. ok I generally hate this trope in the media, because it’s complicated and often leads to some logical mistakes – and they happened here. so rory time travels because of her anger which was caused… by her anger?? i think this was unnecessary. it also brings trouble with this whole free will vs. fate discourse. lucifer says, that he chooses free will… but at the same time he goes the path of his fate. he disappears from rory’s life, because he HAS TO in order of the events of the season to happen. just because he chose to do it, doesn’t mean it’s free will.

- lucifer becomes the very thing he desperately didn’t want to become. “bUt It WaS fOr ThE gReAtEr GoOd” screw this bullshit, if writers wanted to make it better, they could have easily do so. they could have altered the rules of time travel so that his choice of staying could have resulted in rory disappearing. yes, that would have been heart-breaking, but it would have been a great lesson for lucifer, that he can’t make the same mistakes his father did.

- chloe and Lucifer get a child without even talking about it. “bUt MaYbE tHeY tAlKeD aBoUt It We JuSt DiDn’T sEe It” you may say. but the point of writing anything  - whether it’s a book or a script – is to show any thing that matters. and talking about having kids is one of the most things any couple should do. also not every couple needs to have kids and forcing deckerstar to have it feels so far-fetched. this thread was very unnecessary.

- rory herself is a big problem. to begin with – she wanted to KILL her FATHER. i get her frustration, but commiting a murder?? just because he wasn’t there for her?? I would have thought that chloe taught her better, taught her that, like, killing people is bad. turns out she did not. secondly… she just isn’t necessary here. i elaborate later so in conclusion – her thread could be altered with michael’s and it would have made much more sense. i also don’t like the actress (why was she blinking so much??) so i certainly didn’t help.

- of course ella has to end up with a boyfriend. because earlier she always ended up with “bad boys” and now, without any help, she is just able to have a healthy relationship! yay! for me this creates a toxic view, that in order to be happy one HAS TO be in a relationship, because being alone is aLwAyS bAd. well, it’s not.

- i also have troubles with lucifer starting up a foundation for her. firstly, he didn’t ask her. secondly it – AGAIN – shows, that anything good ella got, was because of another man. firstly because of her relationship with carol, secondly because of lucifer’s idea. it could have been so easily altered! there could have been a scene of a conversation e.g. with amenadiel where she expressed a will to do better and be better for someone (given that she sees a lot of dark in herself). amenadiel could have then told her, that she is an inspiration and that it is her biggest strength. that could have been where ella came up with an idea to start a foundation blah blah – it’s just a rough idea but I believe that written well, it could have been so much better;

- and the last thing about ella – of course she had to find out about celestial stuff because sHe WaS tHe OnLy OnE rEmAiNiNg. umm what about trixie? i'll come back to her later. ella was portrayed as the only one believing in god and having her seeing that he really exists ruins the concept of faith. it’s not about knowing something exists, it’s about believing in it.

- WHERE THE FUCK IS MICHAEL. i must admit that i loved this character AND I CAN’T STAND HOW AWFULLY HE WAS TREATED HERE. so at the end of season 5 lucifer says “everyone deserves a second chance, even you michael". and what does he do then? COMMANDS HIS TWIN TO CLEAR THE FLOOR IN HELL. yes, i agree that michael should have been punished for his rebellion plan, but… he already has his wing cut off. now he’s stuck in hell, with no way out and is he supposed to learn his lesson? this is cruel. instead of this the entire season could have been centred on him – his journey to self-acceptance, learning how manipulating someone is toxic and starting to realise how to be a better person. at the end he could have become god (because amenadiel is such an obvious choice), which would create a beautiful connection – michael in heaven and his twin in hell.

- lucifer doesn’t feel like being god and that’s cool. damn. people died for him to win this place and he’s like “actually you know guys i’m not the right person bye”. while i believe that anyone should step out if they have a reason, but at the same time lucifer should have faced any consequences of his decisions. falling frog and kool aid in the river are not enough.

- adam’s plot feels just quickly sketched, not actually written. i really appreciate this take on toxic masculinity but it all felt too fast-paced. it’s good that they show this idea of “strong and not-showing-any-feelings man” kind of attitude, but it is impossible for ANYONE (especially The ManTM) to change their mind in a matter of a few days. it takes weeks, months, years even, especially given that adam is like a gazillion years old, he should have especially taken a long time to process this.

- carol is just too pure to exist. he’s also one of the most boring, plain and one-dimensional character i’ve ever seen. i feel like they gave him a problem with alcohol because the writers were like “hmmmmm he has to have some weakness. LET’S MAKE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC”. we don’t see any signs of his everyday struggle, why did he fell into this problem, how did struggle. it just feels like a dull plot device to show that he has flaws. oh and also he’s so pure that he doesn’t mind ella BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE. acceptance should have boundaries and violating someone’s personal space isn’t right.

- why did they forget about trixie again? yes, i know that scarlett estevez had another project but this does not justify the bad writing. the girl lost her father and we only see her crying once because of that. no signs of this affecting her everyday life, not showing any consequences of her relationships with other people, not  glimpse of any change in her behaviour. oh and also she loses lucifer too because time travel! great idea, writers! losing another close to her person would have been soooooo good for her psychic for sure.

- i also hate the idea that suddenly rory becomes the only child they care for. where is trixie when they spend their day on the beach? where is she when her mother dies? did writers forget about her as well as they did about michael?

- amenadiel being a police officer is… problematic. i was looking forward to this thread, i was kinda scared too and it turned out… meh. i’m white and not American, so this of course does not involve me at all, but i felt like this was not enough. harris basically said that there is nothing they can do to make it better for black folks. even though chloe and amenadiel want to make everything more just, we don’t actually see any change. the only thing is that harris becomes a detective (right? i’m not sure if i understood it correctly, so correct me if i’m wrong, please) which is a total contradiction of what she said before. suddenly she does not have to protect people anymore?

- in season 5 they stated that heaven and hell need to be fixed, as the system is unfair and unjust. at the end we don’t see any change, the only thing that is different is lucifer helping damned souls. it doesn’t help at all! these people still go to hell, they still suffer and there’s nothing that changed here! plus there is also this thing, that a sociopath who murdered people in cold blood goes to heaven (because he does not feel any guilt) and a person abused by her parents/partner/whoever goes to hell (because have been manipulated to feel guilt).

- dan making amends with trixie while… there wasn’t really anything to make amends about. like, most of the parents make mistakes while upbringing their children, but does this make them unworthy of heaven? i would have preferred dan to slowly regain his self-consciousness, how he positively affected the lives of people around him and by doing so – through conversations or maybe reliving some of the memories, he could have proved to himself that he is worthy of love and redemption.

phew, what a ride. i really liked dan being reunited with charlotte (it went just as i imagined) and mazeve dynamics. i even felt like they are finally a real life relationship – with people hurting each other by not understanding each other, but then talking and seeing other’s perspective. generally though, i’m very disappointed.

sorry for any mistakes, lacking commas etc. writing a text this long in not my native language was not easy.

[qqueenofhades]

did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty

Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?

My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).

That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.

As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.

And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.

Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.

I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.

[deans-haunted-baby]

Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:

Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.

We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.

Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.

What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.

There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.

Moving on.

Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.

Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.  

Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.

Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.  

Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.

I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.

This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.

MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.

[astaroth1357]

The Obey Me Cast on a Camping Trip (Part Two: The Undateables)

This post is split in two due to length (I had too much fun again…) For the Brothers, please click HERE!

Intro:

Another day, another team building activity between the demons and the exchange students. It was Diavolo’s idea to go on a camping trip to the human world (because of course it was), and there were very… mixed responses. That sentiment wasn’t helped when he refused Lucifer’s insistent pleas to just purchase cabins for everyone to stay in. Oh no, the Demon Lord wanted to rough it out in the wilderness, and now everyone else was getting dragged along with him…

Wonder how that turned out?

Diavolo

He was soooo excited to get to experience camping! He had been asking the MC about human camping trips for about a week before making the announcement and he was pumped!!

Barbatos chauffeured him to the campsite in his own car (of course) but he insisted on taking every roadside, touristy stop they came across which doubled the drive time considerably…

He wanted to help everybody set up the camp but Barbatos and Lucifer were having none of it… So he took pictures and offered moral support instead! Good work everyone! 😁

He had his own tent about the size of a small house (ngl it took Barbs and Lucifer about a half hour to set the whole thing up). Barbs even somehow managed to pack a collapsible desk in there for him so he could still work… greeeat…. 🙄

Diavolo wanted to try everything. Literally everything. The man even traded his uniform out for full on outdoors gear, right down to one of those floppy fishing hats with the tackle stuck to it.

Politely insistently asks that Lucifer does things with him. The MC could come along as well (and in many cases Luci begs them to do so) but he wants to get some bonding time in with his best friend!

Unfortunately for Lucifer, Diavolo would get sidetracked quite a lot… Which is how he ended up having to physically steer his Lord out of harm's way more than once…

At one point while hiking, Diavolo was so distracted by taking pictures that he nearly walked right into the path of a passing bear and her cubs. Lucifer had to tackle him down into some bushes until they went away... His brothers teased him mercilessly when they heard about...

Dia also loved the camping food quite a bit. He's never gotten the chance to cook his own food before, even if it's just marshmallows over a fire, so it was all a brand new experience for him! S'mores are now declared a human world delicacy.

Man had the time of his life! He'd love to do it again, hell, maybe even make it a yearly event! (Few of the brothers share his sentiment, but hey, it pays to be King 😏)

Barbatos

If his Lord orders it, then he follows. He'll just have to double check that everyone is prepared for the occasion…

Drove Diavolo there with the patience of a saint (while also, like, being the exact opposite of that). Had it been anyone else in the car, they might have told him, "No, we can't stop for pictures of every moose you see," but Barbs is as accommodating as he is loyal.

It was pretty much all on his shoulders to direct the others when setting up camp. Lucifer would claim it was his, but let’s be completely honest here, Lucifer can't order Barbs to do shit. 

Naturally, he had his own tent close to his Lord, more modest in comparison, but big enough to hold a majority of the belongings and gear Diavolo had requested.

He also managed to bring a almost fully functioning kitchen setup for him using magic, minus a working oven by Diavolo's instruction. If he wanted a heat source, he had to use the campfire and he found the challenge intriguing…

For once in his extended life, Barbs had to do some trial and error in the kitchen. As it would turn out, fireside cooking can be a little difficult to master, but by the end of the trip he could still somehow dish out four course meals without so much as a sweat (according to the MC the secret was tinfoil and cast-iron cookware… who knew?)

When he isn’t prepping their next meal (which let’s be honest, with Beel on the trip that’s a constant activity) he’s guarding the food from Beel and Solomon…

The sorcerer wanted to help, but Barbs has already learned the hard way that if he so much as pokes a dish its flavor is ruined… It’s enough to make him wonder if it was a curse laid on him at some point…

Watching Barbatos deny Solomon becomes a pretty funny routine in and of itself. He’s not above just smacking the man’s hand away with a wooden spoon if it gets too close. Barbs doesn’t play in his kitchen. Back off. 😠

Barbatos is happy with the trip so long as the young Lord enjoyed himself. If that’s the case, and it was, then he’d happily do it again if asked… not that he’d have much of a choice anyway.

Simeon

Simeon was familiar with the concept of camping, he’d written about it in his stories, but he’d never actually done it himself… He had hoped it'd be an interesting experience! And uh… it was that from the very start… 

Purgatory Hall got its own car and Solomon was put in charge of driving… But no one mentioned that he drives like a complete maniac. Speed limits, stoplights, even the ROAD ITSELF be damned. Solomon drives in a straight line from point A to point B and if there’s anything in the way he’ll just use magic to get around it…

It’s safe to say that by the time he and the others got to the campsite (which was significantly quicker than the rest) the angels weren’t in the emotional state to pitch tents… He and Luke just waited for the others to catch up while praying and praising the solid ground beneath their feet…

He shared his tent with Luke and didn’t mind at all. It was probably for the best anyway because the little angel was scared of human world predators like bears and wolves coming for him in the night… Poor boy…

Simeon took to hiking quite a bit. Going out and exploring the area around the campsite made him feel invigorated! The forests were beautiful and it gave him ideas for a bit of a guilty pleasure he's been debating on writing, "The Tale of the Lonely Prince." 🤭

It was on one of those trips that Simeon discovered human world creatures love him. Pretty much all of the wildlife gravitates towards him like he's a Disney Princess.

At one point he came back to camp riding on a moose with birds chirping on his new friend's antlers. He offered to take the MC out for a ride, but the brothers threw a fit about it…

He WAS able to get a couple more wrangled for Diavolo, who naturally dragged Lucifer along (though he clearly didn't want to touch the thing). 

The three ended up getting into a mooseback race because Diavolo wouldn't let Lucifer take the lead. He was glad to see Luci enjoy himself for a change! (It helped a lot that he won of course 🙄😏)

All and all, Simeon had a great time. Maybe he should ask the MC to show him more human places… But he's never getting in a car again. Pardon his language, but fuck those things!!!

Luke

He doesn't know what's worse… being out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of demons or the absolute insanity that was the "drive" down… 😣

He spent the entirety of Solomon's Magical Ride of Nightmares clinging to Simeon or the armrests for dear life. He swore his entire life flashed before his eyes, can angels even have heart attacks???

Stayed right next to Simeon when they finally pulled themselves together enough to leave the car. He was so happy that Michael didn't see any of that… Who knew human transportation was so horrifying…???

His saving grace (literally) was getting to share his tent with Simeon… After Solomon told him that bears sometimes get curious and ransacked campsites, he clung onto the older angel like a protective charm.

...Whiiiich he wasn't too off about actually after he saw Simeon playing (yes PLAYING) with the human wildlife… Simeon had to introduce him to some of the nicer animals for him to eventually get over his fear and venture out past the campsite.

Luke loved to swim in the lake or river with MC and the others. The MC found a sturdy branch where they set up a rope swing and the little guy amused himself for hours!

Sometimes he'd watch Barbatos prep and cook using the campfire… He didn't even know you could make lasagna in a Dutch oven…

At one point the MC convinced him to go with them and the twins on a particularly long hike…

He got tired halfway through and Beel offered him a piggyback ride, but of course he'd NEVER let himself be that close to a demon!! (Just kidding, poor boy was so tired he climbed onto Beel's back and held on the a kola until they got back. Then he jumped off to save face)

He had a better time than he thought he would, but still doesn't want to go camping with demons ever again. (He and Simeon also begged Lucifer to drive them back instead of Solomon so the brothers' van was pretty much a clown car on the return trip).

Solomon

Solomon hasn't been camping (for enjoyment) in quite a while, so when the prospect came up to do it with the MC and the other students he was intrigued...

When Simeon asked he knew how to drive, he said yes. He knows how to start a car, put it into motion, steer, and then come to a stop. That's all driving is really. 🤷‍♀️ You can't blame him for not memorizing all the rules, he's been traveling by portal for decades!

Was pretty confused why his angel friends fled the car so quickly... He got them there in one piece, after all. 😕🤷‍♀️ He put up their tents himself since they were too busy thanking their father then made a magic barrier around the site for protection purposes.

He and the MC both have their own tents, of course his is enchanted to be a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, but he's only let the MC in on that little secret in case they want to visit… 😏

When everyone else finally arrived, Solomon was happy to help the MC introduce the wonders of the human wilderness to their companions! Including the breathtaking vistas, beautiful flora, bitter temperatures, man-eating predators, waters filled with disease… Hm? Oh, Luke won't leave the tent now…? Whoopsie.

Solomon kept himself occupied on the trip the best way he knew how… relentless trolling (particularly of Asmo and Barbs because they're used to his shit).

He'd alternate between poking fun at Asmo for the almost ritual length routines he was going through to try and save his looks to genuinely trying to encourage him and downplay the severity of the downgrade...

Meanwhile he was bound and determined to serve at least one of his own dishes during the trip (but Barbatos had banned him from the "kitchen," the food tent, and even the spoons...)

Diavolo, nice guy that he is, eventually made Barbs relent and let Solomon cook for ONE night… It went as well as to be expected. (They sent Solomon to grab more supplies then everybody took turns washing their mouths out with lake water... Diavolo apologized profusely, he had no idea...).

Solomon was confused why the angels would rather squeeze themselves in with the brothers than ride with him back but he wasn’t upset about it. That meant he could make a few extra stops without anyone complaining! He knows a guy in New Orleans he’s been meaning to see again… Luke and Simeon can wait a little for their stuff, right?

Click HERE for Part One. Check out my Masterlist for more!

[eveningstar1516]

Rise of the Demon King ~ Chapter 8

Rise of the Demon King

Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so..., Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence. AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Previously:

His brothers would always know whenever he went to see her as he’d always come back with a content smile on his face. Deep down, he wished that Y/N could’ve met Cynthia. They would have made great friends as they were the only 2 people who could make him smile like this. Mammon may not have been able to save Y/N, but he swore that he would protect Cynthia, no matter the cost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 8 - The Great Pancake Debate (2261 words)

It’s been almost 6 months since you arrived in the Celestial Realm. Needless to say, you are quite certain that these last 6 months have been the craziest and stressful months of your life! When you told Simeon and Luke about you staying here, to say they were ecstatic would be an understatement. Luke jumped for joy and wouldn’t stop rambling about all the fun you were going to have. When you told them about God appointing them to help teach you about the Realm, Luke practically did a double take and it took an hour to calm him. Now you have Simeon teaching you about politics and Luke about how to use your wings and powers. On your second day there, Michael woke you up, or well came to get you as you didn’t get any sleep. Turns out, while the Devildom is constant at night, the Celestial realm is constant day and thanks to the floor to ceiling windows, there was no way for you to stop sunlight from coming in. You were introduced to the council at breakfast. Note to self, the brothers breakfasts are QUIET AND PEACEFUL compared to Archangels off duty. The first thing you saw were 2 angels passionately arguing over which pancake topping was the best, strawberries or blueberries. At some point a third angel cut in claiming chocolate chips were the best and all heaven (would you replace hell with heaven here? idk) broke loose. As for me, I just started chuckling in disbelief while making my way over to pick up a pancake of my own when the angel arguing on behalf of the strawberries saw you.

“Hey kid, what topping do you prefer, strawberries, blueberries, or chocolate chips? It’s strawberries right?”

“Actually, I prefer them plain with maple syrup. Although if Satan was the one making it, I’d go for the one with poison berries. Contrary to their name, they’re not actually poisonous and quite sweet.” All the angels present looked at me with a mix of shock and disbelief, save for Michael who just sat there eating his breakfast hoping to leave soon and get to work.

“Kid, did you say Satan?” The angel arguing on behalf of blueberries asked. “Yeah… Blond hair, teal eyes, Avatar of Wrath, Luci’s son? Ring a bell?” Turning to Michael, blueberry angel asked,

“Micheal, who are they and why are they wearing Lucifer’s old get up?” “This is Y/N. They will be staying here and taking Samael’s spot on the council until their agreement with Father ends and they return to the Devildom. Father has asked us to teach them about how our Realm operates and how to successfully fulfill Samael’s former position flawlessly, unless they want to return now and leave heaven early?” Michael turned towards you with a smirk on his face as he asked the last part.

“Very funny Mike. You and I both know I won’t do that no matter how bad you want me to.”

“What did I say about calling me that?!” Micheal’s smirk turned into something short of a snarl.

“Well, if you won’t take me seriously, neither will I. You want me to call you by your name, earn it and stop being an butt… I meant an butt… Why can’t I swear?!”

“This is the Celestial Realm Y/N. Angels don’t swear.” Michael said smugly over the rim of his cup of coffee.

“God Dang it! Argh! Fudge!. Dang it! Ya know what, forget it, my entire mood is ruined. Thanks Michael!”

“Anytime.”

Shooting Michael one last glare, I sighed and turned to the rest of the baffled angels in the room.

“Yes, what Michael said is true. Stuff happened in the Devildom which I will not get in too-”

“The demon king made Samael kill them.”

“Ok, Mike, first off, he didn’t, I ordered him too, second, I thought I said I didn’t want to talk about it. What gives you the right to tell them huh?”

“I felt like it.”

“You son of a beach.” I turned back to the rest of the angels. “Not a word about it. Anyway, due to some personal issues, I made a deal with Father to stay here on the condition that I take over Lucifer’s spot on the council until he either kicks me out or until our agreement has ended.”

“If I may, when will this agreement of yours be over?” The blueberry angel asked.

“I will be returning to the Devildom once Lord Diavolo has been crowned king and his father is 100% out of the picture. Now if you don’t mind me asking, could you introduce yourselves?” “Oh how rude of us, I’m sorry, I am Gabriel.” Gabriel had chestnut brown medium length hair, reaching shoulders. His eyes were a dull green. He wore a white turtleneck and had a light green shawl with golden tassels. He pointed to the strawberry angel. “This is Raphael and he’s Uriel.” He pointed to the chocolate chip angel. Raphael had long reddish-orange hair put up in a high ponytail. His eyes were a stormy gray. He wore a simple light gray half sleeve with an off the shoulder white cape and little decor. Uriel had short gray hair and golden eyes that almost seemed to sparkle. He wore something that reminded you of an off white scholar's robe with gray accents. “These are Saraqael, and Raguel.” He pointed to 2 of the quieter angels who didn’t participate in “the great pancake debate”. “We make up the Archangel council and we’re happy to have you Y/N.” Gabriel finished off with a smile. You were just barely able to make out a little “Not all of us” from Michael. You decided to ignore it, and then, like all the decisions you’ve ever made, it was the wrong one. Sitting back down you asked,

“So, quick question. What started The Great Pancake Topping debate?”

.

.

.

.

Breakfast ended 2 hours later with upset angels, and pancakes, everywhere…

In the Devildom. After they lost Y/N

Levi went straight to his room as soon as they got home. As soon as he closed and locked the door he went straight to Henry’s fishbowl, picked it up and sat in his bathtub, hugging the bowl as he cried. ‘Why do I feel like this?! I only like 2D characters and Ruri-chan, not 3D people. How do I miss them?... Why did they leave me? They were my player 2.’ “Well it makes sense, no one would want to stay with a worthless shut in of an otaku like me” he said to the empty room. Henry 2.0 glubbed a bubble in response. “You wouldn’t leave me, would you Henry?” *Glub* “No you wouldn’t… I miss them.” Levi stayed in his tub hugging Henry 2.0 until he fell asleep.

Present

It was another late night, Levi was bingeing a new anime ‘I fell in love with a 3D girl but I’m afraid she’ll leave me after finding out that I’m an otaku who rarely leaves their room’ . He was halfway through the 9th episode when he got a notification from Mononoke Island. One of his raid mates was stuck and needed some help. He paused his marathon to help his fellow mate and stayed up until the early hours of the morning switching between playing Mononoke and watching his anime. Stumbling into the dining room for breakfast the next morning, he was met with complete silence. Lucifer had left early, Belphie was asleep, Beel was too absorbed in eating, Satan in his book and Asmo on his phone to even notice him enter the room. Mammon was busy in the human world helping out sone witches. Levi sat down in his normal spot, taking whatever was left as he mentally prepared himself for the day. As soon as the bell rang, signaling the end of the day at RAD, still dressed in his uniform, Levi left as quickly as he could. There was an anime expo happening in the human realm right now and there was some ultra-rare limited edition Ruri-chan merch being sold there. He had gotten Lucifer’s permission to attend the expo so long as he was back by 11. Existing the portal and making his way to the expo, Levi thought about the last expo he attended with Y/N. They cosplayed as Erin and Levi from Attack on Titan and spent the entire day surrounded by fellow anime nerds. They had also booked a room at a nearby hotel. It was 3 days of bonding time for them. Entering the expo, Levi decided he would get something for them as decor for their headstone put in memory of them in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. Nearing the line for Ruri-chan merch, Levi noticed someone staring intensely at him. He decided to ignore them but keep a loose eye on them, just in case. He got to the front of the line and purchased 4 of the Ruri-chan collection kits. One for use, one for display, one to keep and sell in the future, and one for Y/N. He decided to wander around a little more to see if anything else would catch his eye while he was here. He spotted a Black Butler station and remembered the jokes he and Y/N would crack about Barbatos and Sebastian. He passed a Fate/Stay Night stand and remembered their conversations on which heroic class they would belong to. Levi would have been the perfect Lancer. He passed countless other stalls, each of them holding a memory he made with Y/N. Distracted by his trip down memory lane, Levi forgot all about the person stalking him. He went and purchased some dinner from one of the stalls before sitting down and pulling out his DDD and looked at some pictures of Y/N and him at their last expo. He didn’t look up from his phone until he felt someone sit opposite of him. Levi looked up to see some middle aged man just sitting there on his phone. He didn’t have any food, merch, or even look like someone interested in an anime expo. Feeling an uncomfortable aura emitting from this man, Levi got up and left. He took a quick look over his shoulder and saw that the man wasn’t following him. He left the expo and went down an alleyway to open up a portal back to the Devildom when he accidentally bumped into someone dropping his purchases.

“S-sorry”

“That’s quite alright.” The stranger extended a hand out to let him up. “Say, I’d love to know where you got your uniform from. No schools around here have uniforms like that one.”

Looking up, Levi saw the same man that was watching him with a twisted smile. Masking his fear, he mumbled an excuse about being in a rush and tried to dash around him. Before he could get 2 steps down the alley, the man grabbed him and pushed him further into the alleyway. Levi’s head struck the wall hard leaving him dazed for a moment.

“I didn’t think my intel about finding a RAD attendee at the expo would be true but whaddya know? Seems I caught myself a demon.”

Levi, now more aware of his surroundings, realized he was cornered by a demon hunter. Despite being in an alleyway, there were too many people around for him to do anything rash. Without missing a beat, the hunter pulled out an enchanted dagger aiming straight for Leviathan’s heart. Levi rolled and dogged last minute before colliding into someone’s chest. That person in question wrapped his arms around Levi’s chest and put their own dagger to his throat.

“I know you’re there! Come on out and I might spare your friend's life!” The hunter holding Levi yelled. When no one stepped out, the dagger held by Levi’s neck began pushing on his skin. Levi felt a flare of pain and against his better judgement, transformed. His tail wrapped around hunter 2’s leg and flipped him over while the first hunter charged at him, only to be blown to the ground as a powerful gust of wind knocked him over.

“Jeez Levi, you’re lucky I was here. Seriously, why didn’t ya do somethin’ earlier? Maybe then I wouldn’t have ta save yo ass.” Mammon stepped out from the darkness with a bored look on his face.

“Come on, Lucifer’s waiting for ya back home. LOOK OUT!” Levi turned around just in time to see Hunter number 2 taking a swing at his neck and managed to duck just in time. Mammon then charged over punching the hunter square in the face, knocking him out cold.

“T-thanks M-mammon.”

“No problem. Come on, let’s get ya back home before any more of them show up.”

Stepping through the portal, a question plagued Levi’s mind.

“Mammon, how did you know I was in trouble?”

“Some witches summoned me. I overheard them talk about some hunter group getting a tip about a possible demon being at some expo. Then I realized that it was the same one you were going to, so I decided to go there myself to make sure ya weren’t followed. I’m glad I did too.”

“Th-thank you Mammon. Really.”

“Of course, what are big brothers for. Anyway, about my payment, maybe you can forget about the money I owe ya?”

Groaning, Levi started walking faster, leaving Mammon and his whining behind as he made his way back to the safety of his room.

[ckneal]

I already have a pretty firm idea of what I would like to see Chuck go through on his first day in Hell that would really be more cathartic for the other characters involved than anything else. On his second day though, I would like to see his real torture begin, by being trapped in an endless loop of being a human single-father, who is just completely incapable of dealing with his children.

It would start off slow, with Chuck and his four beautiful boys, Michael, Lucifer, and the twins, sitting at the kitchen table. Chuck could have his “World’s Best Dad” mug in hand. Gabriel and Raphael would be dressed in matching outfits like something out of a 90s sitcom. Except Raphael has the biggest and most penetrating eyes, like he can read your tax returns in your very soul, and he knows that you did them wrong, and as Chuck’s staring across the breakfast table, telling himself there’s no way his six-year-old can be working for the IRS, Michael, who’s nine, taps Chuck on the shoulder to let him know Lucifer’s started a trashcan fire in the living room.

Chuck runs to put it out, and as he’s trying to smother the flames with the couch cushions, Gabriel announces that he’s running away. Chuck looks out the gaping front door to see him jubilantly barreling across the front lawn, straight toward a busy street. He starts to run after him, but then Lucifer comes sprinting out of the kitchen, happy as can be, with a meat cleaver. Without thinking, he yells, “Raphael, go get your brother!” And he only realizes after he’s wrenched the knife out of Luci’s hand that that was a terrible idea. In his panic to get outside, Chuck chucks Lucifer in the closet and orders Michael to keep it closed until he gets back.

Outside, Linda Tran is marching his twins back across the street, and she is judging Chuck’s parenting.

Inside, Michael is struggling to hold the closet door shut with both hands while Lucifer pummels it from within, screeching at a decibel that really begs the question of whether children can actually hear themselves. Chuck puts the twins down, takes a deep breath, and turns to deal with the closet situation—only Michael and Lucifer are no longer there. Instead, he sees Metatron, age nine, excitedly waving a packet of papers at him, because he’s just written his first short story, and he wants Chuck to read it. Chuck scrambles for a gentle, bullshit, reason as to why that will never happen, but is saved the trouble when Lucifer and Michael, who are somehow now fifteen and fourteen respectively, come crashing down the stairs. Lucifer yells over the din that Michael pushed him. Michael yells even louder that Lucifer tackled him.

From upstairs, Balthazar, who is currently holding the bathroom hostage until Samandriel agrees to pee into a jar, yells that Michael’s telling the truth.

Fortunately, the boys seem to be made out of rubber and jump up to continue chasing each other through the living room and out into the yard.

Music erupts from the television because Gabriel, who is now thirteen, is suddenly playing Mario Kart with Benjamin, Tyrus, and Virgil, with the volume at full blast. Chuck asks them to lower the volume, but Gabe just yells back that they can’t hear him over the music.

Next, the doorbell rings. Dean Winchester is on the other side, here to pick up one of Chuck’s kids for a date.

Anna immediately appears at Chuck’s elbow, and he instinctively turns to her. “Anna, your boyfriend’s here!”

Anna then promptly bursts into tears and goes running toward the stairs, yelling about stolen boyfriends and the fact that Chuck doesn’t know her at all.

Castiel then sidles up to the door instead, with a “Hello, Dean.”

As Castiel ducks under Chuck’s arm, Chuck does a double take, staring at Dean. “Wait, h. . .how old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

Dean does not look sixteen.

Dean throws Chuck a wink and tells him not to wait up as he and Castiel climb into the impala, and that—that really seems like something he ought to be concerned about as a father, but unfortunately Chuck is distracted by a massive crash from the depths of his home. Either Michael or Lucifer has thrown the other through the fence separating their backyard from their neighbor’s.

Loki, who had been enjoying a lovely game of catch with his three sons in his own backyard before the sudden property damage, is glaring at Chuck through the wreck, and he is judging him.

The first thing Chuck hears when he comes inside after dealing with Loki is Naomi crying because Bartholomew threw her biology homework out the window. The first thing he actually reacts to is the smell of smoke coming from the basement. He goes down already expecting to find a fire, but instead he stumbles upon Serafina sharing a joint with some hippy who stares at Chuck like he has a personal vendetta. On a couch behind them, Sam is tripping on demon blood, Crowley’s doing human blood, and Balthazar is trying to sell them Samandriel’s urine.  

As Chuck is shooing the druggies out of his house, Balthazar follows after them saying, “I don’t need to go to rehab, Dad! I only sell the drugs!”

Sam laughingly asks if Chuck knows there’s a half-dissected frog on his front lawn.

At some point, Raphael transitions, and then Hannah does too, and Chuck cannot keep their pronouns straight. Every time he misgenders them, the entire household seems to innately know to stop what they’re doing and shout the correct terminology in unison.

And then the phone calls start.

Uriel got into a fist fight at school.

Ishim was caught peeping in the girls’ locker room and has been expelled. (And is also in need of medical attention after having his ass kicked by the girls who caught him).

Anael has been arrested for shoplifting.

Gadreel is stuck in a tree.

Chuck is pouring out the urine he confiscated from the basement when there’s a pounding on the door for the umpteenth time that day. John Winchester is on the other side, looking as much the hardened ex-marine as humanly possible, and he tells Chuck, “The next time I catch your kid sneaking out my son’s window, I’m calling the cops.”

Chuck starts to stammer, “I’m so sorry, I’ll talk to Luc. . . Cas. . .ifer. . .?”

It’s a particular low when John Winchester judges you on your parenting. John Winchester scowls in disgust, and then he shoves Michael, The Good Son™, through the door way. Michael, who is now sixteen, has his shirt on inside out, and an impressive six hickies visible on his neck and jaw.

From the living room, Gabriel lets out a wolf whistle.

Michael looks terrified. Before Chuck can say anything, he gets another phone call, and Raphael appears to helpfully drag Michael into the sea of unruly siblings, where Chuck will never find him.

On the phone, Castiel announces that he’s dropping out of high school and marrying Dean Winchester and there’s nothing Chuck can do to stop him.

Chuck doesn’t even say anything back. He just turns and looks into the madness of his house, wondering why he ever had so many children. Why did he do this to himself?

He’s sitting at the kitchen table when Lucifer walks through the door that Chuck didn’t even bother shutting before, a heavily pregnant Kelly Kline on his arm. Chuck cries until his head hits the table. When he looks up, it’s morning again. He’s sitting there with his four beautiful boys, Michael, Lucifer, and the twins.

And then it repeats.

[diavolosthots]

Feeeeeeeeeeeeeed me hot fallen Simion. My pussy is dying, for a dark, feral yandere fallen angel 💓💔

***REQUESTS ARE NOT OPEN THIS IS FROM LAST TIME***

Heres my disclaimer for all things yandere: I'm not the best at it lol

Warning: Yandere, unhealthy relationships, kidnapping, manipulation

Falling ( YANDERE!FALLEN!SIMEON X GN!READER )

In retrospect, you really already knew it was going to happen. Simeon had been odd for a while now, straying further away from the light while Luke so desperately tried to pull him back. A child clinging onto its parent, begging them not to leave, but it was too late. You guessed it had started way before you even came into the picture, like a lot before. Your gut tells you it’s the aftermath of the war. The guilt and conflict, the inner debate over what both sides stood for and if he had chosen the right one, only to find out much later that he really hadn’t. He had served an absent father for years, taking orders from Michael blindly until he woke up one day and realized how badly he wanted to think for himself; to be his own person. 

Simeon fell, and he fell hard. Bright wings burning in the sky as he crashed into the Devildom, bruised and beaten, but with a smile on his face. You, especially, had been worried; that must have hurt, but he wouldn’t have any of it.  At first he was still much like himself; kind, funny, a little mischievous… until one day, he just… changed. His humor turned dark, much like Satan’s except so much worse. He would gamble, albeit more successfully than Mammon, and his confidence borderline narcissism, much like Lucifer and Asmodeus. His appearance changed, too. The white flow over his shoulders, the heavenly pants mixed with the leotard, all of it turned into leather. Dark leather pants matched with equally dark shoes. A black button up that only had the last two buttons buttoned on the bottom, stuck into his pants and otherwise revealing his naked chest. He wore jewelry too, his hair gelled back to reveal gold earrings that too closely resembled that of a snake, a traitor. Simeon became meaner, too, hating and ignoring everyone who didn’t like him or what he stood for, but most of all Simeon became jealous. Jealous of Diavolo and what he had, of Solomon who seemed way too happy in his own skin, and of you, because in all of this, you never left his side and it irked him. 

Your heart of gold stood out to him, something he hated but also felt the odd need to protect. He brushed it off as his angel side talking; the fall hadn’t been too long ago so it would make sense for some of the good to still shine through, but he really didn’t want it to. He felt more free, having fallen, and was one of the few that actually rebelled and took his dark side seriously. You had to beg Lord Diavolo more than once to let Simeon off the hook, which he found amusing and teased you for, “please, Simeon, just stop…” Your pleas to him were even better than your begging to the Demon Lord and he found himself laughing, “please what, (Y/N)? Do you not like me anymore?” It’s not that, he it wasn’t that. On some level, you actually loved him, but it was becoming too much for you. “Come here.” he’d always do this. He would mess up and then cradle you in his arms, keeping you close against his exposed chest while he promised things that he will never fulfill, and you fell for it every time. 

To you, the idea that something so full of light and love could actually turn evil doesn’t make sense and you desperately clung onto the sliver of hope that deep down he was still his old self. “Ssshh… it’s okay. You don’t have to protect me.” But you did. With tear stained eyes you looked up at him, finding yourself in an unfamiliar room that you would soon figure out, you could never escape out of. A soft smile graced his face and although you knew it was fake, it still brought some comfort because it looked like him, like the Simeon you knew. “But I do… you’re destroying yourself, Simeon… you’re trying so hard to be someone you’re not. You didn’t have to fall.” His hand cupped your face, his face turning even softer, looking at you like you were a child that just didn’t seem to understand the world. “My dear (Y/N)... you don’t understand. I don’t expect you to… your silly human mind just doesn’t have the capacity to.” Tears streamed harder. You felt like you were just being brushed off and you hated that he treated you this way. At some point, you used to be his equal. At some point, he treated you like you were worth something, but lately he had just been crushing you, making you feel smaller and smaller. 

“I’m not a silly human… I-I… I don’t need protection…. “ He shook his head, wiping your tears, “of course you do. They’re out to get you, (Y/N). You know why, right? Because you’re just that, a human. Tiny, fragile, and helpless. Nobody cares for you.” His words made you choke, quickly pushing off of him as you looked at him in disbelief. You managed to stand, trembling legs and hands finally finding the courage to walk around the room, the room you didn’t recognize, in an attempt to free yourself, “let me out…” your voice was timid, scared of what he might do. He had gone crazy before, picking a fight with Beelzebub in which the latter barely made it out alive had it not been for Lucifer stepping in. You knew Simeon would only need to use a quarter of the strength on you that he used on Beelzebub in order to break you, and you feared that. “Oh? Pushing me away, I see…” he stood up, slowly walking over to you, backing you up against the wall, “Why are you trembling? Are you scared?” It was a rhetorical question, he knew the answer to it of course. 

It was almost funny to see. You wanted to be there for him so bad, to make him see that you loved him and tried to guide him in the right direction, but at the same time he was so scary, too unpredictable, and so malicious. “Awe.. come here.” You shook your head, trying to go anywhere but near him, which was hard since he had you trapped. A laugh escaped him, his arms catching you and pulling you into his chest a little too tightly, barely giving you enough space to breathe, “don’t fight it, (Y/N). You belong to me. After everything you went through for me, trying so hard to prove your love… you don’t think I’ll let you go, do you? No… Honestly, I hate it. I hate how you try so hard to make me something I’m not… You try so hard to give me the same light that you see in yourself, it’s pathetic, really,but…” he pulls back just far enough to look at you, a sadistic grin playing on his lips, “but that’s going to make breaking you so much more fun. 

You shook your head, struggling in his grasp but his grip on you only tightened, laughter roaring in your ears as he turned you around and pushed you against the cold wall. Your face made contact with the bricks and you closed your eyes tightly, your body tensing when you felt him move just a little too close. His hot breath was tickling your neck when he spoke again, “oh Simeon… please… you don’t have to do this…” he was mocking you, knowing exactly what you were thinking. You whimpered, the tears falling harder as you sniffled, but he was quick to lick them away with his tongue, “don’t worry… I’ll be gentle… at least if you bring me more of those sweet tears.” 

[emmys-grimoire]

Lesson 57 analysis + 58 predictions

It's less exciting than anticipated, probably.

tl;dr Summary

We start asleep, but overhearing Satan + Belphegor plotting to prank us. You can choose how to surprise and foil them. They're just here to tell you breakfast is ready. Belphegor finally rewards you with the star of diligence: MC is one star away from completing the exam and earning their sorcerer's license.

Lucifer is eager to make MC a full-fledged sorcerer because he could use them to ward off Solomon's advances, which apparently he's still making. Asmo tells us that Solomon is very picky, and driven, when he's choosing who to pact with.

And he's apparently very adamant about getting Lucifer.

The others note that Mammon and Leviathan are acting unusual, and they clearly are very distracted. We decide to ignore the strangeness for now and answer Barbatos's summons to Hotel Corvo.

And guess who is also being summoned!

We arrive, and Diavolo informs us that there's an evil phantom now haunting the hotel. Not just any ol' phantom, though: a bogeyman.

Apparently they're pretty tough and might have the upperhand against demons. They take the form of what their victims' fear most. They put several hotel guests in the hospital.

We find out that the reason why Mammon and Leviathan are being so weird is because they know they're responsible for the bogeyman being in Hotel Corvo: they went wild with Crowe upgrades and summoned it accidentally, then ordered Crowe to teleport it to Hotel Corvo after it transformed into Lucifer and scared them out of their wits.

Obviously, Lucifer's not happy! Barbatos assigns him to "fix" the problem. The brothers want to leave Mammon and Leviathan to do it on their own, but of course we can't have that.

Diavolo also seems keen on joining, but Barbatos turns on the scary fake smile and Diavolo relents.

Then the others show up! It sounds like it wasn't a planned get-together, but Solomon is eager to make the best of it. He wants to make our quest to banish the bogeyman MC's final trial.

Simeon is initially reluctant, but MC convinces him to join.

And then we're off down a creepy hallway in the hotel. The lesson ends on a cliffhanger as the creature at the end of the hallway suddenly attacks us.

Don't worry, Lucy will save us, probably.

This is the start of the trial of humility.

Analysis

Barbatos's Plan

Probably the most noteworthy thing about this lesson is how clearly Barbatos is setting all this up, even though he has no visibly obvious motivation to do so. He's summoned everyone to the same location under different auspices and he's making sure Diavolo isn't around. We still didn't get any insight on what he and Lucifer talked about, but I think Lucifer's being deliberately steered by him in this direction, too.

Since this doesn't seem to be something he's coordinating with Solomon, it leads me to believe he's either doing something to foil Michael's plan or he's setting up some kind of trap for the guy. For whatever reason, he doesn't want anyone else to catch on just yet.

Simeon's reluctance to stick around and help us is also noteworthy: he probably has Michael plans on the brain, and his intuition is probably trying to warn him. Alas, he can't say no to you.

Also, the BG being a bunch of doors and keys probably means something. Barbatos's room has multiple doors which lead to multiple places, I think: can't remember if they're just portals to different parts of the three realms or different points in time, but if I was a betting gal, I'd put my money on the latter. It doesn't look like his room (it looks like an old hotel), but I wouldn't be surprised if these doors lead to "flashbacks" similar to the ones we ran into back in the fake House of Lamentation.

The Bogeyman and Lucy's fears

It's implied that the bogeyman has powers that may make it difficult for demons in particular to cull. It sounds something an angel might be effective against, though, because Solomon insists Simeon accompany the group just in case "things go south". Though Simeon seems unsure if he can actually be effective against it.

Who do you think is stronger than Simeon, who is an archangel who was once a seraphim? He could just be downplaying his power, too: he's less threatening that way.

The bogeyman also has the ability to take the form of whoever or whatever his victim fears the most: we discover that Mammon and Leviathan fear Lucifer the most when they initially summon it.

This trial is 100% going to involve Lucifer facing what he fears the most. My guesses: it'll be either Father or Michael. They can do the former if MC doesn't necessarily see the same form Lucifer sees (they likely fear something different)... but if whatever form the bogeyman takes is noticeable to everyone observing it, then it's going to be Michael because I don't think the devs are going to give God a tangible form for reasons.

Why Lucifer could fear Michael? Simple: not only was Michael the one capable of bringing him low during the Great Celestial War, but he may know Lucifer better than anyone. All his strengths, but more importantly, all his weaknesses. Lucifer fears being exposed as flawed and imperfect, particularly by those he considers his lessers. It's also not the first time he's expressed something akin to fear re: Michael.

Another possibility is Lilith. He could fear facing her after failed to protect her. That'd be difficult to manage on-screen, though, for obvious reasons. They haven't given Lilith a canon appearance yet and it's in their best interest not to because they've been using MC as the Lilith expy in the Celestial Realm flashbacks.

Whoever or whatever it is, it'll be fun.

Solomon and his pacts

Another thing this lesson did was remind us that Solomon really, really wants a pact with Lucifer. We found out a couple lessons ago that his whole motivation behind forging a pact with Asmo was his interest in Lucifer.

Up until this point, Solomon has been pretty upfront with his desires and usually backs down when they deny his request to make a pact. He asked Belphegor back in Season 1, and he hasn't brought it up again after he was rejected.

This doesn't seem to be the case with Lucifer, though. His rejections have been ignored.

He's being unusually cavalier about this whole situation so maybe he would try to manipulate the current situation to wring a pact out of Lucifer, since he hasn't been deterred yet and something needs to change in order for him to get what he wants.

I don't know. Lucifer might be his blind spot, and something he wants badly enough to step over the line, so to speak. Why he wants Lucifer so bad is another head scratcher, but it could very well be because just because the guy is incredibly powerful.

Or this is just another red herring meant to make us suspicious of Solomon again. I guess we'll see.

Predictions

We have only three lessons left, and they set this lesson up as the lead into the climax, which is going to be later than where it was in season 2. But it can't afford to happen much later. 58 will give us the first half of the climax at least, and I won't be surprised if it wraps it up entirely in one lesson so we can have both 59 and 60 to say our goodbyes. It'll feel pretty rushed otherwise.

Michael's showing up in some capacity. I'm much more willing to bet on a face reveal now than I was at the beginning of the season: we haven't heard anything from him directly since the first flashback -- not even another chat -- and he hasn't even officially introduced himself yet. But we've been hearing all about him this season, and they've made it a point to let us know he's working on something behind the scenes. It feels like most of this season was softening the ground for his arrival, and he'll drop in to get us hyped for the next season.

I think we're headed back to the Celestial Realm, baby!

Luke's not with us at the haunted hotel, so he'll likely remain oblivious about what happened during the Great Celestial War until next season. Simeon's not gonna fall because he'll probably need to be our tour guide, and we have a bunch to explore about his background, too.

I was hoping we'd get some kind of conflict with the Sorcerer's Society as a part of the completion of the exam but I'm not sure if they can fit all that in now. Kind of disappointing: trying to smooth things over with them sounds much more interesting than Mammon + Levi just letting out a literal boogeyman. I don't think they're using their story themes as effectively as they could be. It's just Levi's tech going awry again, like it always does.

How I'll rate this season will depend entirely on what the climax actually turns out to be, but so far I'd rank it higher than season 2 but lower than season 1 because of the re-used tropes. Stop teasing us and just give us meaty conflict already.