#The Lady™️

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

The Lady™️'s wardrobe hath been updated for the spring!

also what's super fun is after we installed motion activated garden lights (so we aren't fumbling with our keys in the dark when we get home late) we have accidentally started jumpscaring our food delivery drivers

like imagine you're walking up to a house in the dark like this

only for the light to snap on and suddenly-

I've opened the door more than once to a delivery guy admitting she scared the shit out of them 😂

I do generally try to leave the outside houselight on when I'm waiting for food so they can find the door easier, but I sometimes forget and end up scaring the hell out of these poor folks just trying to deliver me food

[unionize-lumon-industries]

ok so you live in a factory town. pretty much everyone in town works in this factory. your mom works there, your aunt works there, you work there even though you’re only a child. the factory produces an extremely volatile chemical that is used as an anesthetic during medical procedures. you work long shifts. you get high with the other children during your shift. the company that owns the factory got its start making topical salves. your mom is sick. she can’t breathe. the ceo of the company sees god in you. you are sent away to boarding school. your mom dies while you’re at school. you never even get to say goodbye. all you have left of her is the breathing tube that kept her alive until it didn’t. the tube was manufactured by a company that got its start making topical salves. you’re doing well in school. you become the valedictorian and you are granted a prestigious fellowship which allows you to take on more rigorous studies. you invent a new medical procedure. an experimental brain surgery that will allow people to forget about work when they’re not working. the ceo of the company takes credit for your invention, and you are threatened into silence. the factory in your hometown shuts down. you end up working in the corporate office, managing the workers who have undergone your procedure. you are fired. the daughter of the man who stole your invention tells you that you have overestimated your contributions and underestimated your blessings. happened to my good friend, harmony cobel.

[nenekkasa]

lords of cunt

[crybaby-bkg]

“I thought I was supposed to be the old person in this relationship,” Toji’s voice rings out in the previously quiet atmosphere, makes your head whip up in surprise. your concentration is broken from your prior engagement, hands slowing as you can’t help the smile that grows on your face at his teasing.

“Crocheting is for any and all ages,” you snark back at him, taking in how he watches the way your hands still move rhythmically—yarn over, pull through two loops, yarn over, pull through the last two, chain four, repeat. “You weren’t talking shit when I made you that sweater for your birthday.”

“Yeah I did, cause it itched like all hell.” He teases, makes you stick your tongue out at him playfully. he wore that sweater everywhere, to the point you damn near had to rip it off of him to put it in the wash. (the only times he didn’t wear it was when he knew he’d get it dirty while doing his…business ventures, which you didn’t mind. you’d rather he go a day without wearing it than googling how to wash blood out of a crocheted sweater that took you weeks to make.)

by the time you snap back to reality, Toji has already crossed the room, standing in front of where you sit cross legged in the comfy recliner he brought just for when you crocheted. it takes you aback by how quickly he moved, so silently, face suddenly warm as you look up at him from under your lashes. his eyes are dark, shadowed by his fringe, his hands in his pockets, his head cocked to the side. he looks devious.

“What are you cooking up in that pretty little head of yours?” you ask him, finally pausing your hands as you rest them in your lap. but Toji doesn’t let you, no. instead, he holds them back up in front of your face as he sinks to his knees in front of you, his smile wide and evil, pulling your legs from under you as he settles them on his shoulders.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he croons to you, kissing the inner part of your knee, eyes still glued to your burning face. “Just keep doing your little old lady hobby while I busy myself.” without warning, he pulls your sleep shorts to the side, grinning when he’s met with the bare beauty that is your pussy. you shudder at the air that breezes past you, try to focus on chaining when he squeezes at your thighs with warm, veiny hands.

“But I can’t focus on counting my stitches when your face is between my legs.” you pout to him, hoping it’ll sway him to eat you out and then let you continue your project. but he doesn’t put his mouth on you until you start again, rewards you with a single wet, smacking kiss where you need it most.

“Guess you’re gonna have to learn how to multitask, sweetheart.” Toji grins before he licks a long stripe from taint to clit, your hands hiccuping in their movements. you can feel his smile more than see it, and come to the realization that he’s an evil, evil man. (you have to recount your stitches more than once, and even after you’re fucked out from euphoria and bliss, you still think you’re missing a few.)

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

[vnheimliche]

Russell Crowe in 'Poker face' (2022)

[beartitled]

The bear creatüre has a bachelor degree now

Yea I graduated uni today 🐻‍❄️🎓🎉

Feels weird tbh 💥

My brain did not register this information yet

Diploma comic reveal when? 👀

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

The only truly universal thing that every gay man I have ever met irl (which is a fucking LOT, btw) has in common is that they all remind me of Demetri Alexopoulos in their own special way. I know this is partially due to confirmation bias, but just the other day I was talking to my gay coworker about how we realized we were queer and he was like "when I was in high school, I always had this innate draw to the hot popular blonde girls, but in a...'I want to be their best friend' kind of way. Does that make sense?"

And I'm like "hm...isn't that interesting..."

[vagabond-umlaut]

KIT'S HSR DIARIES

[charmingradiobelle]

So since the Princess Peach showtime render change I’ve seen a sudden abundance of hate towards movie Peach for ‘ruining’ the original Peach. And while I’m not happy about the change either can we maybe leave the movie version alone and stop acting like she was so terrible?

Like come on look at that face

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and seasons greetings from The Lady™️

my roommate and I have very unusual tastes in decor (as evidenced by the Arm in the Living Room Wall picture I posted a while back), we are absolutely terrible enablers for each others batshit tomfoolery, and facebook marketplace is a dangerous playground

this combination of factors have resulted in what we lovingly refer to as The Lady, who now permanently resides right by our front door

she will be accessorised for the holidays

[bespectacledpaladin]

Maiden of Embers 🔥⚔️

Did these ones after doing the Ifrit trial in Duty Roulette and WOW

[anhonest-puck]

i have been so rotted by my parents to believe that a B is a low grade because i was looking through my grades just now and i went “my grades are so low this year :((“ babez. you have an 88. you’re fine.

[snackleggg]

A doctor who headcanon I have is that Gallifreyan doesn't have gendered pronouns. It's all in the neutral.

One of the biggest obsticals the Doctor had when learning new languages so they didn't have to rely on a translation circuit all the time was learning how gendered pronouns worked and how to apply them to themselves and others based on the planet.

[piratefishmama]

Wuthering waves is so embarrassing like heres basically a carbon copy of Genshin Impact but with the literal worst camera lag in the history of camera lag pls spend the same money on us as u do on Genshin teehee

[sillimancer]

this whole folklore book I've been reading has been a delight but so far my favorite part is the section I'm on right now where Lady Wilde is just nerding out about the bog bodies and other cool shit she saw at the Museum of the Royal Irish Academy