#The Inescapable Professor
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The Inescapable Professor has seen a future where humanity learns to live in the dark, and becomes free through it. They believe in this future, and while they see no point in rushing they are fully willing to help it come to pass. But unlike others who have a similar vision, The Professor does not hate the Masters. Disdain, anger, perhaps even bitterness. But hate? No. More than anything, they feel pity for the foolish Middle Managers of the Chain who've managed to delude themselves into believing that their position above humanity makes them any more free.
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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How I would describe the Professor: Bisexual and Non-Binary, masc-presenting but likes wearing dresses
The Professor according to the Professor: "In matters of both love and taste I am entirely unbound by convention. This is London after all - why be shackled by old ideas when there's so much to explore and delight in? I simply go where my interest takes me."
happy pride month!
question: how would you (their writer) describe your character's gender + sexual + romantic identity, and how would the character themselves describe it? fallen london is pretty welcoming of queer people, although their vocabulary for it is naturally very different from modern day
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If you do science wrong enough you can get a better house. Btw.
#fallen london#the diary's heart beats and the heartbeats' diary#this is 'wrong' science because it makes The Inescapable Professor give you a side eye <3
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how to be a latin lover ♡ h.js (m)
♡ synopsis: the dreadful semester has started — meaning your summer vacation has come to end, and so has your summer fling…or has it? ♡ genre: summer fling au ; big dummy dumb idiots to lovers ; ta x student dynamics. ♡ pairing: spanish ta!joshua hong x chaebol!fem!reader | side pairings: lee chan x jung haerim (weki meki) ; wen junhui x lee saerom (fromis_9) ♡ word count: 26.8k ♡ rating: 18+. minors do not interact, i beg. ♡ warnings: honestly, a little toxic if you squint. lots of pining. hella slow burn. lots of suggestive commentary but no smut because i'm ass at it (sorry if you wanted some, maybe during the lore drops for this fic later this year i'll add some) and very, very toxic mother-daughter dynamics [official warnings: joshua and y/n are absolute idiots. i’m talking the dumbest mfs you’ve ever encountered, you’ll want to scream at them through the screen.] ♡ what to listen to: otro atardecer - bad bunny, the marías ; get to you - mac ayres ; sky full of stars - coldplay ; brave enough - leehi ; qué locura enamorarme de ti - eddie santiago ♡ a/n: it's finally here! thank you to @camandemstudios for allowing me to be a part of such a wonderful collab (and i promise hoshi will be out by next week!) thank you to @tomodachiii , @wqnwoos and @highvern for betaing this stupid behemoth and telling me to stop being a little bitch (no one said that). hopefully i will see everyone soon with the hoshi version! thanks for reading!
Monday, August 29th.
Summer is over.
A sad fate deemed inescapable, despite your sunkissed glow and endless array of swimsuits begging you to stay on the beach – you were forced to return to reality after spending six weeks in Mexico, away from the shackles of your mother's constant nagging and the fall semester of impending doom. Your trip was all-expenses paid, of course – thanks to daddy's big, fat wallet.
You had no worries – your skin was clear, your hair was bouncy, your belly was full of delicious food as you pranced the streets of Puerto Vallarta with your best friend, Lee Saerom. Your father didn't even know he'd footed the bill for her, too. He didn't check the credit card report after you booked your trip – just nodded absentmindedly and waved you off, his voice echoing the walls of the office. "Have fun, honey."
Well? The fun you had…is now here to bite you in your sweet, sunkissed ass.
Summer flings have been your thing since you were eighteen – so since your parents finally let you out of their grasp to 'explore.' Whatever the hell that meant, you didn't know, but you gladly took the plane tickets and went off to wherever they sent you. One year, it was Greece, and your summer sweetheart grew a bit too obsessed with you – leading you to change your number and start using burner phones for vacations.
You covered all your tracks. You didn't even give this guy your social media accounts, you gave him your burner number…you didn't even tell him your last name. Yet, you are so undeniably screwed.
"Hello, everyone!" He scans the room as he takes a sip of his coffee, glancing at the door. "I'm unsure if you all received the email, but Professor Lee won't be in today." He's still scouring faces, taking in new ones and recognizing old ones. He hasn't seen you, and you're sure if you just sink a bit further down, he won't. "I'm Joshua Hong, and I'm Professor Lee's teaching assistant this year. She asked me to review the syllabus with you, in lieu of her absence." He taps the stack of papers on the large oak desk, clicking his tongue. "I'm gonna put the digital copy up on the projector, and you guys can just pick one of these up on your way out. Sounds good?" The class seemingly nods simultaneously, and you find yourself sliding down your chair as he walks to dim the lights. "That being said, welcome to Beginning Spanish Conversation! I took this course last year, and Professor Lee is super nice so you won't have to worry about getting into any scuffles with her."
He's speaking to himself as he connects everything, the home screen of his laptop popping onto the projector screen. It's him and two other guys dressed as the Powerpuff Girls. He giggles to himself before using the laser pointer. "Not that you guys care, but these are my friends." He points to the one dressed as Buttercup, tied to a moving dolly with a sour expression on his face.
"This is Jeonghan. He's another TA on the East Campus, and the secretary of my fraternity! If you ever see me off campus, I'm likely with him and this guy." He points at the one dressed as Bubbles with a tiara on, a guy you recognize but can't seem to place. "This is Seungcheol. He's President of Beta Tau Omega, in case you're wondering where you've probably seen him before." You freeze as he opens his Safari, hoping that comment wasn't directed at you. It opens to the syllabus, and you feel your lips twitch at how cute Professor Lee made it. There is a floral border surrounding the page, and he points the laser on the screen again.
"Okay, so. Again, I'm Joshua Hong and your professor is Lee Hyori. This is Beginning Spanish Conversation, so we'll be learning a lot of vocabulary and common phrases. Enough to get you by in case you're ever stranded in the middle of Guadalajara with no phone and no money." He smiles, and someone raises their hand in the front.
"Are you speaking from personal experience?" It's Jung Haerim, a girl from your World Cultures class last semester.
His smile only grows slightly wider as he shakes his head. "No, and yes. I got lost in Denmark. Copenhagen, to be exact, and I had to flirt my way onto the train. Not as fun as it sounds, trust me." He returns to the screen, carefully going over what the students could expect in the coming weeks. He reiterated that Professor Lee loves pop quizzes, so stay prepared. It was only then when he finally stopped speaking, flashing yet another award-winning smile.
"Any questions?"
Your hand is crawling to cover your face as people start asking questions, further prolonging your suffering – when you feel eyes on you. Peeking through your fingers, you see him peering at you over the rim of his tumbler. They hold a mischievous glint, and he casually continues answering questions.
Where are you from?
"Los Angeles. I moved here when I was about…nineteen? Yeah." You already knew this.
How was your summer?
"Pretty good, I spent eight weeks in Puerto Vallarta. I got back maybe three days ago, and only then did I find out I got this position." You knew this, too. He probably remembers you.
What's your major?
"I'm a Music major, with a minor in Jazz Studies." He told you this on your third night together, over an IPA and a shared basket of chips and salsa. You burned your tongue on your food that night, you couldn't taste for days.
Oh? Why that?
"I've always been passionate about it. Funny, I took Spanish to broaden my horizons for it. I'll hopefully be a producer after graduation."
Your impatience begins to show as you bounce your leg irritably, and it's almost like he can hear your thoughts. "Alright, alright. I'll literally be here every time you guys are, so save your questions about me. Or, find me after! We can hang, I'm usually at the frat anyway." He shrugs, gesturing to the pile of papers on the desk.
"Syllabus, take one!" His smile is bright as you scramble down the steps, snatching the piece of paper off the desk and just about sprint to the door. You can feel your cheeks heating in embarrassment as you barrel down the hallway, deciding to skip your next class in hopes of drowning in your shame.
You spot Saerom a few feet down the hall, smiling and talking to one of your other friends, Chan. He was rushing that stupid fraternity this year, so if your math was right – you wouldn't be able to avoid Joshua at all this year.
"Saerom, I'm so fucked." You call, and she immediately spins around, a look of discernment on her face.
"Y/N, what are you on about this time? The last time you said that, it was because you left your Dior lip oil in Morocco." She deadpans, and you scoff. "Maybe it's about her classes." Chan reminds her coolly, and you sigh as you slump your forehead against his chest, earning a pat on the back from him.
"For once, the twink is right." Groaning, you bury your face further into Chan's chest. "I've got to transfer out of Spanish, or the University. I cannot be on this campus."
Your words are muffled against Chan's shirt, earning a sigh from Saerom as she places her hands on your shoulders. "Get a grip, Y/N! It's the first day of your last year, it's not the end of the world. You will not see any of these people next semester, trust me."
She's not understanding the severity of your issue, and only when you hear someone stop behind you, do you attempt to explain. "Saerom, you're not listening–"
"Saerom, is that you?"
She looks up, her eyes lighting up as she gently gestures for you to hang on, pushing past to envelop whoever it was in a hug. You look over your shoulder, eyes wide as you see him looking down at your best friend.
"Shua! Oh my God, it's been so long! How's your mom?!" Shua. Oh, you feel sick.
Your breath hitches in your throat, before Chan's amused face comes into your line of vision as he drapes his arm over your shoulder – effectively hiding you from Joshua. "We'll let you guys catch up. See you later, Saerom?"
He tugs you away without getting an answer from her, and you almost make it out of the hall when you hear your name slip from Saerom's lips. "Oh, Y/N is my best friend! I'll have to introduce you sometime, you'd love her."
You barely catch Joshua's response as Chan makes a left out of the hall.
"I'm sure I will."
Friday, September 2nd.
"So…anything you want to tell me?"
Saerom is standing next to you, placing forks next to slices of cake. The two of you had missed three birthdays on your trip, and you'd invited said birthday buddies over for a celebratory movie night to make up for it. You'd bought a cake on your way home from your first Organic Chemistry lab, and Saerom had set up the apartment with the small gifts you'd brought back from Puerto Vallarta.
To your luck, Saerom had pulled you aside while you were cutting the cake to talk to you.
"Uh, no? I skipped Spanish today? I used the last of my face wash?"
She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms as she turns to face you. "You were never gonna tell me that you slept with someone this summer?"
"I don't know what you're talking about? Obviously, you knew I'd find someone."
You try to hold in the heat of embarrassment, but Saerom's like a dog with a bone. "Right, of course. How would I, your best friend, not know that you, my best friend, slept with a guy over the summer?" Soonyoung, Junhui and Nagyung were playing Mario Kart on your television, and couldn't hear the conversation being had in the kitchen. You felt your cheeks warm as you stared into the cake, a bit of chocolate frosting smeared on your knuckles. "Sae, it was just some random guy I met when you slept in. Why does this matter?" "It matters…" She huffs, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, and you give her a look of get on with it. "It matters because he's my cousin, Y/N."
Your grip on the spatula tightens. You can feel your stomach drop, eyes wide as you look back at her. "He's your what?"
"I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're thinking. I'd never be mad at you for that…even if it is weird for me." She says quietly, and sighs as you feel panic set into your skin. "I just…Why didn't you tell me? I transferred to this university for you, I tell you about all my hookups, and I had to find out through him that you guys were sleeping together for the last three weeks of our vacation?"
"How could I have possibly known the two of you were related? Better yet, why does it matter? It was just a stupid fling, Sae. I'm not trying to marry into your family, God." You mumble, placing the spatula in the sink and covering the rest of the cake with the plastic lid. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't think it would come back to bite me in the ass." "It doesn't. I thought you already considered me family, Y/N. It seems I've been under the wrong impression for a while." Her eyes are cold as she moves the cake slices onto a tray, and you feel taken aback. "What the hell does that mean?" "What the hell did you mean? As if marrying into my family would be so fucking bad? We're a great family. We're loving, open, and honest. Nothing like you, it seems!"
You gape at her, before you feel a bit of anger claw at your throat. "Saerom, I didn't think I'd ever see him again! Of course I'm going to hope he doesn't expect anything more from me, because I can't handle that. I want a career, I want to own my parents' businesses after graduation. I can't let a guy tie me down, no matter who he is to my friends. You have to get that." Her eyes are hurt, contrary to the furious tug on her brows. She knows what you want out of life, she always had – at least, what you would let her believe. Your parents had expectations, and you, as their only daughter, had to fulfill everything. Taking over your father's companies, inheriting your mother's properties, continuing the bloodline. It was all on you.
God forbid a girl have a little fun on vacation.
"It's always about you and your career, isn't it?" She mutters, grabbing the tray and walking towards the living room. She stops in front of the doorway, looking over her shoulder. "I thought I could trust you, Y/N. It seems that being a Risk Analyst may not be my perfect fit, after all."
You kind of hate that this is happening.
No, scratch that. You hate that this is happening. You don't even really understand what just happened, or how Saerom could have possibly interpreted what you said as something bad. Despite these horrible circumstances, you knew that Joshua couldn't possibly be a bad guy. Granted, you'd skipped your Spanish class twice now, doing everything in your power to convince Chan to enroll into it so you wouldn't have to face Joshua alone. You even said you'd pay his stupid fraternity dues if he got in, no matter how bad you hated Beta Tau Omega.
Joshua was sweet on vacation, but everyone has their vacation persona, and their normal life characteristics. At home, you were serious, studious, and even slightly uptight.
On vacation, you were…flirtatious, unhinged, a bit wild. You took shots from strangers and stayed out in clubs and bars until the wee hours of the morning. You'd play games of chicken with cute guys, letting them kiss you in bathrooms and put their hands up your skirt.
Joshua did none of that, he didn't indulge your behavior. At least, not right off the bat.
He'd caught your eye at a restaurant, speaking perfect Spanish to the waitress. He looked…refreshing. Sweet, different from your past romances. He looked like someone you'd actually date, but you were on vacation and you weren't looking for a long-term, potentially long-distance boyfriend. A quick fuck, a cum-and-go, if you will.
You'd bought him a mimosa, ignoring his line of vision as you befriended a few girls you'd met at the pool of your hotel. Saerom decided to sleep in that morning, and almost every other time you managed to catch Joshua alone – she wasn't in your presence. Maybe that was the universe protecting the both of them, while scorning you.
He'd sent a glass of white wine to your table, also avoiding your gaze and continuing his breakfast conversation with his friends. Jeonghan and Seungcheol, now that you can put a name to the faces. You didn't bother then, it didn't matter.
Not until now, of course.
You remember walking past his table on your way to close out your check, slipping your name and burner number on a napkin. You remember his friends teasing him, even hearing one of them give a low whistle. You remember said burner phone buzzing in your pocket less than an hour later, and meeting up with him that night at a salsa club down the beach.
You also remember cuddling on a hammock with him, pointing out stars you'd memorized as a kid because you wanted to be an astronaut. You remember him kissing your fingertips as you talked about your life back home, leaving out details of where you lived, where you went to school and who your parents were. You remember his eyes scanning your face, lingering on your lips as you sighed, voicing your unhappiness.
You had truly opened up to a stranger faster than you had anyone else. Even Saerom didn't know you felt this way about your life. How could she? She was under the impression that you loved it, you loved feeling important, you loved the money your lifestyle was funded by. That you didn't care about your parents' emotional absence, and the overwhelming amount of nannies being rotated in and out of your childhood in place of them.
Some things are better left unsaid, you remind yourself. You have to remind yourself that this façade needs to be upheld. You have to make your parents proud. You have to.
Right?
You're still standing in the kitchen when Nagyung appears in the doorway, her voice soft as she calls out to you. "Y/N?" You jump, a hand to your chest as you look up. She apologizes, "Sorry! It's just…the movie is starting. Are you coming?" "Yeah, sorry. I'll be right there." You gesture at the mess of cake crumbs and frosting, and she gives you a quick smile before scurrying back to the living room. You turn to wash the spatula, your mind just reminiscing as you grab the soapy sponge.
"So you're going to take over your father's business?""Yeah, I'm an only child, so I don't have much of a choice. If I don't take it, it just goes to the highest bidder. In my mind, it wouldn't be the end of the world if that happened, I'd get to pursue my own path."
"If you think that, why are you taking it over? Why not tell your parents that you have dreams you want to pursue? I know it's easier said than done, but office jobs are not good for the soul in my opinion." He spoke confidently, his fingers twirling your hair.
"I'd be ungrateful, I'd be throwing away hundreds of properties and investors. I'd be throwing away this lavish life I live, funded by my father's money. I'd be throwing away a secure future…and I'd be letting them down."
You didn't want to be an astronaut anymore. You'd long let that dream go, along with an eight-year-old you that had posters of Yi Soyeon and constellations plastered all over your room. You remember your mother standing in the doorway of your bedroom when you got your first poster of a supernova, a glass of Merlot in her hand as she sighed. "You'll never be like them, you know? Going into space…eating peanut butter on crackers and floating. It's not possible." She had been right, anyway. You had put all of those posters up in your attic, along with your rocket models when you moved for college. The only thing you kept and brought with you to University was the orrery your last nanny gifted you for your fifteenth birthday. It sat pretty on your desk in your room, mocking your every move.
You were getting a business degree. You were majoring in Marketing. You're taking Spanish for the same reason Joshua did, to broaden your horizons, and make business boom. To feed the greed that festered in your parents, and give them what they want.
But…unbeknownst to them, you were also majoring in Physics. You wanted to give yourself the sliver of hope that they wouldn't actually want you to take over the firms, that you'd get to continue your education and get your doctorate. That you'd be a plasma physicist and watch everything happen in real time for space research, without having to leave Earth's surface.
Delusions, all of it.
"Welcome. You missed the first fifteen minutes." Soonyoung scoots over, offering you the lit joint between his fingers as you sigh. Taking it, you plop down on the couch cushion, your leg draped over the armrest. "Takes time to have a clean house, Hoshi." Saerom glances at you from her spot on the floor, her eyes unreadable as she blinks. She frowns slightly, returning her attention to the television. You can tell she feels uneasy about the entire situation. She's probably asking herself how she didn't catch on, or why she didn't ask.
And the truth is, you're kind of glad she didn't. Had she done so, you probably wouldn't have slept with him. You probably would've found out they were family and completely ghosted him, or at least told him that you were her friend. You would've let him down much more easily, instead of leaving Puerto Vallarta without saying goodbye and throwing your burner phone in the garbage at the airport.
Everything would have been different, you would have acted differently.
Nonetheless, you can't dwell on the past. You can't keep skipping Spanish, and you can't let your grades slip over some stupid summer hookup. What you can do is pretend it didn't happen. Pretend you've never seen him in the nude, pretend you don't know what his lips feel like. Pretend like he didn't affect you deeper than he did, because it wasn't just sex.
And you hate that it wasn't.
Monday, September 5th.
"You love me, Lee Chan!" You'd done it. You'd convinced him to join your class so you wouldn't be subjected to Joshua's nonexistent wrath alone. Seeing Chan leaning on the wall next to the door was a sight for sore eyes – even if he was trying to subtly flirt with Haerim.
"Y/N, you're going to scare the hoes!" He speaks through gritted teeth, allowing you to envelope him in a tight hug. "Ugh, you've saved me from a world of misery." "You're so needy." He mutters into your hair, making you pull away with a smug look on your face. "Well? Why is everyone out here?" "Professor Lee isn't here today. We're waiting for Joshua to get the door open." Haerim speaks as she locks her phone, shoving it into her pocket. She eyes you up and down, noticing the slight frown on your lips. "Why did you skip twice already? The semester just started." Grimacing, you make up a lie. "Prior commitments. Couldn't miss 'em." "Right…" She gives you a look of discernment before fishing her phone back out of her pocket. "I'm gonna skip, actually. You still have my number, right? Can you forward what you guys do today?" Upon seeing your nod, she gives you a lazy smile and worms her way through the crowd of students forming around the door. Everyone is whining and complaining, but you're now searching the hall to see if you can also make a run for it…
"Hey! So sorry, guys. Professor Lee just called me." A slightly disheveled Joshua appears behind a group of girls, holding up a set of keys. You look away, meeting eyes with Chan – who is squinting at Joshua as if he knew him. "Is that…Isn't he the Vice President of Beta Tau Omega?"nk
"Leave it up to one of my best friends to befriend the enemy." You scowl, before looping your arm in his to tug him into the classroom. The front few rows are already filling out, with Joshua regaining his composure at Professor Lee's desk. You and Chan make a beeline for the back of the classroom, taking the last two seats in the third row.
"I'm rushing this year, I need to know my higher ups." Chan whispers back, and the two of you whip your heads towards the front of the room at the sound of Joshua clearing his throat. "Sorry again, everyone. Unfortunately, a late start will be followed by a quiz." He winces as a collective groan follows his announcement, and you feel your stomach flip. You don't know enough Spanish to pass this class by the seat of your pants. You barely retained how to introduce yourself from high school. "Don't worry, since this is the first quiz of the semester, I'll go easy on you. Just some general conjugation, and it's to see where you fall on the scale." Joshua speaks confidently as he walks around the room, handing stacks of the quiz to the first person in the row. You feel your eyes glued to the floor as he holds the stack out for you to take, and you hate how your hand shakes as you do so.
What you hate even more?
"Nice to see you in class, Miss Y/N." He whispers, before crossing his arms behind his back and walking down the steps. Chan snickers next to you, earning a smack. "Not funny!" You grit, whacking him again with the stack of quizzes.
"Once you are done with your quiz, I will grade it. You may then leave for the day, because I really do not have the energy to think of anything else to be done." He's rubbing his temples, and you hear a few people sigh in relief.
"Easy money." Chan whispers to himself, before clicking his pen and beginning the quiz. You glance down at it, your lip tucked behind your teeth. The quiz seems standard – a few conjugations, a few multiple choice. One short answer at the bottom, asking you to describe what you did over the summer in Spanish.
"Fuck." You mumble.
You can't lie to yourself, you probably fucked yourself over by skipping those last two classes. They probably reviewed, took notes. Maybe even engaged in actual conversation with each other, with Professor Lee…with Joshua.
Nonetheless, you feel your skin crawl when you notice that you've spent so much time agonizing over this, that you're one of the last students left. Chan finished at some point and you didn't notice, because now he's waiting by the door for you. You feel your throat tighten, forcing you to zero in and just scribble an answer at the bottom of your quiz.
Grabbing your backpack, you fling it over your shoulder before trekking the steps, noticing Joshua giving you a warm smile.
"Miss Y/N." He greets, taking your paper. You give him a tight nod, before spinning on your heel to leave. You're barely two steps in the right direction when you hear him again. "Ah, ah, ah! We need to speak, Miss Y/N. Turn around." You're semi-grateful that the classroom is nearly empty, because you know you look embarrassed as you turn back around. "Yes, sir?" His smile drops as you stand in front of him, and he taps his pen on your quiz. "You missed two classes consecutively. Per the syllabus, you can only miss six classes per semester, and we don't accept late work. You can't excel in this course if you're not physically here, you know." He's not being a douche. You know he's not, but you can't help and slightly bristle.
"I had other matters to attend to, sir. I'll be on time for the remainder of the semester."
This doesn't seem to satisfy him, and his brows furrow slightly before he shakes his head, sighing. He turns your quiz over, the capital C minus grade in red ink.
"I know you don't want to be here, it's clear in your attitude. However, if you intend to pass this class, you have to show up. My tutoring hours are on the syllabus, revisit them and send me an email when you get a chance so we can get you back on track."
Your mouth opens slightly, and Joshua gives you a rather stern look. "Don't. I'm trying to help you." "Yes, sir." You mutter. He tilts his head towards the door. "You can leave." Huffing, you storm out of the room and nearly shove Chan out of the way when you reach the door. "Woah, hey! Don't kill me, Y/N!" He grabs your elbow, and you groan loudly. "Dude, what's your deal?" Chan asks, taking hold of both your shoulders as the two of you round the corner out of the hallway.
"My deal, Chan, is that I fucking slept with the TA over the summer! That's my deal, dude!" You throw your arms up in exasperation, and a lightbulb seems to go off in Chan's head as his mouth forms an O-shape. You lean against the brick wall of the building, slowly sliding down and covering your face with your hands.
"You..fucked Joshua Hong." He speaks, and you let out another groan, similar to that of a goat. "Yes, Chan. I fucked Joshua Hong in Puerto Vallarta in a random villa on the beach." "Spare me the details, will you?" He grimaces, running a hand through his hair. He squats next to you, making you look up at him with his hand. He gives your look of defeat a laugh, a concerned smile remaining on his lips as he touches his head to yours. "Don't worry, Y/N. He won't be anything but professional, I promise you."
"How do you know?" You whine, Chan's smile of concern turning into one of reassurance. "He clearly takes his job seriously, and he could've told the entire frat by now. Joshua Hong banged the biggest chaebol on campus, Kang Y/N. Crazy." You can tell he's trying to make you feel better, but you already knew Joshua wasn't the type to kiss and tell. Tell anyone other than Saerom, of course – but the two of you didn't speak much over the weekend so you felt a bit down in the dumps anyway. You didn't have dinner together or even go on a morning coffee run like you usually did – choosing to rot in your own rooms until hunger forced you out.
"He's Saerom's cousin, Channie." You pout, allowing him to tug you up off the wall and fling his arm over your shoulders. He sighs, resting his head against yours before he speaks. "Well, it can't get any worse than this, can it?"
– ☆ –
You scribble a reminder on a sticky note to kill Lee Chan for his earlier words – it has gotten worse.
You had forced yourself to review the syllabus upon returning home, especially after your Organic Chemistry professor informed everyone twenty minutes before class started that it was canceled. You then forced yourself to type out a concise and polite email to Joshua Hong, and you forced yourself to press send.
Ten minutes later, you forced yourself to read his reply.
And now, fifteen minutes after reading it, you were parked in the lot, your head resting against your steering wheel as you repeated some positive affirmations. "I can do this, I can do this. He's gonna be professional, I'm going to fix my hours, and I'll be on my way home."
Hopping out, you make sure to press your keyfob twice to hear it lock. Breathing in deeply, you made your way towards the hallway, seeing a few stragglers still on campus. It was nearly six in the evening, so they were probably also in office hours. Seeing the small office come into view, you stare at the names on the bronze plaques. Wow, you think. How important.
Kim Namjoon…WED. 3PM-7PM.
Jennie Kim…THURS. 4PM-8PM
Joshua Hong…MON/TUES/FRI. 2PM-6PM
Jeon Soyeon…MON-FRI. 10AM-1PM, OCHEM II ONLY.
Sighing, you grabbed the doorknob and twisted, pushing it open to reveal Joshua speaking on the phone. His eyes dart to you, a hand to his chest before gesturing to the table in the corner. You roll your eyes, before shutting the door and flipping the sign that reads In Session.
"Yes ma'am…mhm…I will get that done." Joshua is pinching the bridge of his nose, making you snort to yourself as you sink into the surprisingly comfortable chair in the corner of the room. You set your backpack on the floor, pulling your laptop out and a notepad. Clicking a pen, you fold your hands in your lap, waiting for him to finish.
"Yes, I will see you on Monday, Professor. Alright, take care." He hangs up, taking a moment to process. He blinks twice, before shaking it off and opening one of the drawers. "Good to see you, Miss Y/N. This is the review that you missed on Wednesday, and you missed an oral introduction on Friday." Standing, he holds up a packet. "This is just verb conjugation. I was originally going to use this for extra credit, but seeing as you got the highest grade out of anyone in the morning session, I think it's safe to say you probably won't need it." You're silent as he hands it to you.
"You will have to make up for lost time here, so you can stay for…an hour today, and then you can make up the other two on Friday." He's checking the calendar by the door, taking a pen from his pocket to write it in. "Sounds good?" You don't answer, just nodding your head. He raises his brow at you, "Cat got your tongue?" Grimacing, you glance up at him. "Sounds fine, sir." He smiles a bit, before clicking his tongue. "Actually, just take it. You can go, Miss Y/N."
He walks to the desk, shutting his laptop. Confused, you look at him. "You want me to go?" "I don't want you to be anywhere you don't want to be, even if it's for your own benefit. You can leave." He nods, sliding his laptop into his bag, zipping it up and hiking it over his shoulder. "I have a prior commitment I can't miss, so consider this a favor." Snorting, you just shake your head as you put your things away. "I don't need any favors from you." You mutter to yourself, and Joshua smiles brightly as he holds the door open for you. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Miss Y/N. Have a good night." "You too." You grumble, pushing past him to see Jeonghan and Seungcheol leaning against the wall. Seungcheol is holding an extra cup in his hand, and Joshua just lets out a sigh before greeting them warmly. Unfortunately, they're walking in the same direction as you, so you reach into your hoodie pocket for your headphones – but not before you hear a low whistle. "She looks familiar."
You just shove your other hand in your pocket, wondering if they'll keep talking. Does the other one remember you? Do they know you slept with Joshua? Did he tell them? "It's funny to think you'd remember anyone, when you're one of the biggest whores on campus." One of them speaks, and you can hear Joshua laugh lightly. "She's my student, so shut up. Anyway, how'd things go with the new OChem professor? I heard he's a mess, canceling classes back to back." You decide to tune them out as you reach the end of the hallway, not wanting to entertain them as the parking lot comes into view. You can see from where you're standing that there is a ticket stuck under your windshield wiper, and you groan. "Son of a bitch."
Jogging over, you take it off and see that it's not actually a ticket, but a note from someone saying they hit your car. Gasping, you round your car and see a huge dent in your bumper, black paint scraped off and your tail light broken. "Motherfucker!"
You can hear the trio of men getting closer, hearing the beep of the car next to yours as it unlocks. Scowling to yourself, you take your phone out to call your father. He should know what to do..right? His assistant picks up on the second ring. "Kang Enterprises, Gyuri speaking."
Sighing, you speak to her for a moment. She tells you he's in a meeting, and can't come to the phone at the moment. It's nearly seven at this point, what could he possibly have a meeting about? She says she doesn't know, but that your mother is also at the office and she's available. You reluctantly agree to speak to her, leaning your forehead against your rear windshield.
"Y/N? Why are you calling?" She sounds disinterested in whatever matters you may have, and you feel Jeonghan skirt past you as he rounds to the driver's side. "Sorry," He mumbles, and you scoff before moving out of the way. He grimaces before hopping in, and you can hear Joshua speaking to Seungcheol as he also rounds to the driver's side.
"Hello, Mother. Someone hit the beamer–" You barely get the words out before she starts responding. Yelling, actually – and so loud you have to pull the phone away from your ear. Joshua is unfortunately hopping into the passenger seat, and he can see the look of defeat on your face. He gives you a sympathetic smile, and you frown before turning away.
You're still standing there as they pull out, but you've put her on speaker now. She's yelling about how irresponsible you are (and let's not forget you weren't the one who hit a car here) and that she can't believe you expect them to send you another. "I don't want another, I just want Daddy's advice on where to take it to get it fixed." "I don't care, Y/N. We'll get another one down there tomorrow. Just…be more responsible, will you?!"
She hangs up, and you tongue your cheek so as to not cry in frustration. You don't want to drive the car home in this condition, you could get pulled over and then it's worse. Pulling up your messages, you scour who you could call. Chan is at a stupid pledge thing, you're not speaking to Saerom. Sighing, you quickly shoot Soonyoung a text, before calling the local towing company. They towed Chan's car last year when the two of you accidentally swerved into a fire hydrant trying to teach Nagyung how to drive.
Msg From: Soonyoung 🐯
[7:01PM] tf you mean someone hit ur car
[7:01PM] your PARKED car??? i'm literally in the shower, y/n
[7:03PM] ok uhh i think jun is on his way, if you wanna wait for him? if not i can finish up here in like 10 mins
Great.
Wednesday, September 7th.
"Shua." You hear Haerim speak from the front of the room. Your mother had angrily called you last night and said Gyuri would be dropping off your replacement vehicle today, so you were anything but focused until you heard the nickname slip from her lips.
"Haerim." He speaks, not taking his attention away from the corkboard he's putting up on the wall. It has Polaroids of all the students in your class and a few others you don't recognize. They probably took those on the days you weren't here.
"If you don't mind me asking, are you single? My friend drops me off on her way to French with Professor Bae and she thinks you're cute." Haerim is very casual with her conversation, making Joshua laugh lightly as he turns, holding a few thumbtacks between his fingers. "I am single, but I am unfortunately not on the market. Sorry to your friend, Haerim." She shakes her head, about to speak when you hear another person pipe up – Kim Myungjun, a guy you hooked up with at a sorority stoplight party your sophomore year. "How come? Did you get your heart broken or something?" Joshua smiles gently, sticking another Polaroid onto the board. He sighs, before turning back to face the room. "Something like that. I met a girl over the summer. Didn't end very well."
You can't believe your ears, and you can feel your eyes narrow as Chan shifts uncomfortably in his seat. You're willing to ignore it, until you hear Myungjun speak up. "Man, don't let that deter you from finding your soulmate! Love is everywhere, if we let one person dictate our confidence, we give their opinion value. I read that somewhere." Joshua nods, his smile never wavering, when he meets your eyes. His head tilts to the side, but he speaks while looking at you anyway. "I dunno, man. Something about that girl…she was different." Chan coughs awkwardly next to you, and you welcome the distraction as you tear your angry eyes away from Joshua's mischievous ones. You pat Chan's back, offering him a sip of your water bottle when Joshua returns to his conversation with Haerim (and apparently, Myungjun.) "Anyway…yeah. I'm alright for now." You spend the rest of the class with your face hidden behind your hair, studying the stupid Quizlet link Joshua had sent out last night. Professor Lee would finally be in this Friday, and she was expecting all A's across the board that day. You watch the clock on your phone, willing time to go faster with your mind.
The moment the clock strikes noon, you're out of your seat – only to hear Joshua call after you.
"Chan, Y/N, if the two of you could hang back for just a second." He says, as the students shuffle out. You glance at Chan, who has an unsettled look on his face. The two of you take the steps down quietly, waiting for everyone to file out when Joshua holds up the pink Instax camera. "You guys weren't here for class photos, so I just wanted to get those out of the way. Professor Lee uses them to remember names." Chan engages quickly, and you feel your phone buzz in your pocket.
Msg From: Jang Gyuri (K. Ent.)
[12:05PM] Miss Y/N, I am outside with your new vehicle. It seems I am on the West Campus.
Shit.
The panicked look on your face doesn't go unnoticed by Chan, even as he's blinking away the effects of the camera flash. "Are you okay?" "Gyuri is here, and she has my keys." You respond, clicking away on your phone when Chan covers the screen, wiggling his eyebrows at you. "I'll get them for you! Please, please, please—" "You're only asking because you think she's pretty." You roll your eyes, and Chan flashes you a mischievous smile. "Correction, I think she's beautiful. C'mon, I literally do everything for you!" "Fine, fine. Only because you make me feel guilty." Chan beams at you as he hitches his bag over his shoulder, the both of you completely forgetting this meant you'd be alone with Joshua. He calls over his shoulder that he'll wait for you in your new car, making you snort.
"You can stand right here." Joshua points at the small piece of tape on the floor. You grimace, sliding your bag onto Professor Lee's desk and fixing your shirt. "Your necklace is twisted," He speaks again, and you feel around for it.
"Here…can I?" He sets the camera down, and you give him a rather sour look before agreeing. "Fine." "No need to act like this, Y/N." His breath is minty, and it's softly hitting your skin as he works the clasp to the back of your neck. Your grandmother gave you this necklace. He knows, you told him about it tipsy off a mango margarita.
"She got me this on my tenth birthday. I have never taken it off.""She believed in you.""What a shame, right?"
His fingers linger on the glittering pendant, before centering it on your blouse. "Ready?" "What did you mean by different?" You blurt, and his eyes widen as he reaches for the camera. "What?" "You said I…nevermind. Just take the picture, I have somewhere to be." You force a smile, and Joshua gives you a questioning look. He positions the camera, but sighs. "Too forced. Just relax, Y/N."
Huffing, you soften your face, letting your cheeks reach your eyes as you smile gently. "Much better." He whispers, taking the photo quickly. You blink a few times, before reaching for your bag. "And Y/N?" "What!?" You gripe, and he smiles. "Not everything is about you, pretty." Rolling your eyes at the slight lurch in your stomach. Pulling your bag over your shoulder, you stop as he huffs. "Wait, it came out wrong. Can you stand here again?"
He flicks the faulty picture onto the desk, and you quickly position yourself in front of him again. You clear your throat, smiling again as you move your hair to your face – when you see him smiling tenderly behind the camera. "Why are you looking at me like that?" "Hm?" He snaps the photo, taking it as it prints and covering it with his hand from the light. "Nothing, you look a lot nicer when you smile." You don't reply, waiting silently to see if the photo develops nicely. He doesn't speak either, before flipping the photo. You're smiling back at him, and he holds it up. "Satisfied?"
"Yeah, whatever." You shrug, and he nods. He hands you your bag, and gives you a warm look. "Have a good day, Y/N." You hesitate, but take your bag. "You too."
– ☆ –
"Hey, Shua."
He looks up to see Saerom standing in the doorway of his bedroom, her arms crossed as she drags the tip of her shoe against the hardwood.
"Hey! What are you doing here? And if you say you're here to see any of these perverts, I'm going to escort you out myself." She just laughs, shaking her head as she enters his bedroom. It's a bit larger than the others, and she flops onto his bed. "Why did you tell me you slept with Y/N?" Joshua chokes on his spit, coughing harshly in his desk chair. Saerom looks slightly amused as he regains his composure. "Just right out with it, huh?" "Well, she's my best friend. I don't know how I didn't know you were in Mexico, too. I literally watch your Instagram stories." Saerom pouts, and Joshua laughs. "Maybe because I like to live in the moment? I don't document every part of my life, Rom." "I mean, yeah, but still. And how did you guys even have time to meet? I was with her all the time." Saerom wails, making Joshua just shake his head. "She did mention she was on vacation with her best friend. She never mentioned your name, and we also hung out mostly at night. I'm assuming if you guys didn't share a room, you wouldn't have been able to notice, anyway." "We never share a room when we go on vacation together. We like our privacy." She rolls her eyes, and Joshua smiles knowingly. "I know, I was there with Cheol and Han, and I practically begged the front desk to get me one of the beach villas. I did not want to share a room with them, or whatever girl they managed to tag team."
"As your cousin, this is a weird conversation to have. As Y/N's friend, I feel awkward. We fought a bit, and I can't really talk to her knowing that you guys…did it."
"You're so…Okay." He snorts at her theatrics, before opening his laptop. He sees the photo he took of you in the corner of it, your smiling face peeking out at him. He shuts it quickly, having forgotten he took it with him. The photo developed after you left, so it's not like he lied.
"Anyway, she's such a cold person normally. It's hard to get in there." Saerom sighs, and he feels a pang in his chest. You'd opened up very quickly with him, but Saerom didn't know that – nor did she need to. "I guess it works, though, she can be personable when she wants to. Can't believe she wants to own that big ass company her father has. I'd cry myself to sleep if I had that much pressure on my shoulders." You're living such a double life and your best friend doesn't even know it. How can you hide those things from her? Do you fear being judged, or being seen as less than? Someone who can't handle the pressure of being the golden child, someone who can't hold a candle to her parents? Someone who disappoints.
"Yeah, me too."
Saerom keeps talking about you, but he can barely hear her. His phone is open in his lap, and he's staring at the message thread with your burner number.
Msg To: Y/N (PV)
[06/29] hey, this is joshua. [06/29] you left your number at my table.
Msg From: Y/N (PV)
[06/29] hi handsome ;) [06/29] are you free tonight?
He had been free.
He remembers the stupid white dress you wore when you met him at the salsa club. He remembers the confidence radiating off you when you asked the bartender for your drink. You made it evident you didn't need him, that you weren't looking for anything serious – but you slowly dropped the act. You let him in just a bit, you danced with him and you let him walk you down the beach to your hotel room.
You were the one who asked to sit on one of the hammocks on the beach. You were the one who asked him about himself, wondering what his own life was like. You encouraged him to dig deep and tell you his darkest secrets, assuring him you'd share your own as well.
Your life was much more intense than his. He was studying music, he was living it, breathing it, enjoying it. He wanted that, more than anything, and nothing was going to get in his way. But you…you wanted so much more than what you were told you could have.
You wanted to be more than your parents. You wanted to explore, you wanted to live. He remembers how sweet you were when he told you his dreams. how gentle you were when you voiced your opinion on them. He appreciated your honesty and your kindness, and he enjoyed your presence. You…were more than just the intimacy. More than just the makeout sessions you initiated, including that night in the hammock. More than the way you made him chase you just enough. About as much as one can for a vacation fling, anyway.
"...And she makes the best bolognese, Shua. You'd love it." Saerom sighs, making him nod quickly. "I'm sure." "Anyway, I gotta go. I was supposed to pick up dinner, so I can extend the olive branch." She chuckles, getting off the bed. "I'll see you around, Shua." "Bye, Rom. Be safe, let me know when you get home." "Will do." Saerom exits his room, closing the door behind her. He opens his laptop, fishing the photo of you out of the corner and shoving it into his wallet. He should feel weird about keeping it, but that means a perfectly good photo is going to waste! It'll be safe in his wallet.
Unlocking his laptop, he sighs as he sees his email pinging him.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Office Hours
Sent: 10:32PM
Hello. I hope this email finds you well.
I am not able to attend Friday's office hours. I will also not be able to attend office hours next week, as I have prior commitments I must tend to. I know it is rather unorthodox, but would you be available tomorrow? I do not have classes after 1PM and I frankly don't need a language class to tarnish my perfect record.
Let me know if this works for you. Thanks.
Best,
Kang Y/N
010-1230-1995
Thursday, September 8th.
From: [email protected]
RE:Subject: Office Hours
Sent: 11:21PM
Thank you for reaching out. I understand prior commitments can make attending office hours difficult.
I am not able to promise availability for Thursday. Jennie Kim has the office, she is the TA for Professor Lee Chaerin in French II. This being said, I can accommodate in two ways.
I can give you an assignment to be turned in on Friday. You will have to come by the classroom to retrieve it. Or, you can get a study room in the library and I can offer two hours of my time for your use. Please email me back before 10AM if the latter is your choice.
Best,
Joshua Hong
010-9999-8212
Bad idea, Y/N.
Very, very bad idea.
You should have gone to pick up the stupid assignment. You should have picked up the stupid, fat packet he was going to torture you with to make you regret being a douche to him despite basically making the guy fall in love with you over the summer.
Instead, you suffer here. You suffer inside these four walls, with a freshly showered Joshua Hong standing in the doorway, his friends bidding him goodbye. Jeonghan and Seungcheol peer in, their eyes twinkling with something devious – making Joshua roll his eyes as he shut the door with his foot.
"Sorry about that, they're nosey." He's holding a basketball under his arm, backpack hiked over his shoulder as he walks around the room to settle at the table.You haven't spoken yet, just eyeing him down. "Your hair is wet." "Damp, not wet." He corrects you, opening his bag for his sweatshirt. "It's freezing in here, Jesus Christ." "Maybe wear a proper shirt next time." You roll your eyes, opening your laptop to see the digitals you had developed from your vacation. Saerom took a lot of them – you drinking out of a fresh coconut, you wearing a pretty pink dress to the beach, you in a new swimsuit you bought specifically for the trip. There were photos of the two of you together – one a little girl took of you having a picnic on the beach, another of the two of you getting matching tattoos on your ankles.
And one you took of Joshua.
You were sitting on him, right after the two of you woke up in your hotel room. The photo was taken from an odd over-head angle, but his smile was wide and so natural. You were making him laugh, you remember.
"Come on, just one picture!"
"You literally just pinched my leg to wake me up, give me a second!""God forbid a girl wants to wake you up. Come on, I leave in two days!"
You'd lied, you left that night. You dumped your burner in the airport trashcan, not bothering to read the few texts he'd sent you only moments earlier to your arrival there. They were gone forever – and you hadn't felt guilty then, not really. You knew you'd miss him a bit, you knew yourself that much.
You wouldn't have missed him at all if you knew that you'd see him again…for sixteen consecutive weeks. And possibly for the rest of your time on this campus. And possibly, the rest of your life, since you were best friends with Saerom.
The pictures haunt you a bit, you notice.
You're staring at them in silence, feeling a bit of anxiety crawl up your throat when you hear Joshua clear his own. "I brought a few assignments, in case you don't want to do…this." He gestures to the room, and you just shake your head.
"Paying for the class, I might as well try and get along with you." You mutter, clicking your tongue when the photo of Joshua comes back into circulation. "I'm going to the vending machine, do you want anything?" You abruptly get up, grabbing your wallet out of your bag and stalking to the door. He looks up at you, a soft look in his eyes as he shakes his head. "I'm okay." Nodding, you retreat to the vending machine down the hall. You're staring at the ground as you walk, fully expecting to have an uneventful trip not even ten feet away.
However, it seems that even that can't go right for you.
"Hey. You're Y/N, right?" Your head snaps up, seeing Seungcheol and Jeonghan at the vending machine. Your eye twitches a bit, and you clear your throat before nodding. "And you are?" Jeonghan gives you a knowing look, but entertains you. "I'm Jeonghan. This is Seungcheol." With pursed lips, you nod. "Uh, nice to meet you. You guys are in…Beta Tau, right? My friend is rushing it." You stand awkwardly, and Jeonghan gives you a slight smirk. "Yeah? Good luck to your friend, Y/N.' "Yah, don't be like that. Did you want the vending machine? We're still deciding." Seungcheol tugs Jeonghan back a bit, and you quickly feed in your change, pressing the buttons to get what you want. In your frenzy, you get two bottles of jasmine tea.
"Say, Y/N. How was your summer?" Jeonghan asks gently, and you feel your shoulders tense before you glance over with a scowl. "Is it really on your mind that much? I fucked your friend, so what?" "Wow, no need to get so feisty! Kitty has claws." He smiles, elbowing Seungcheol, who just pinches the bridge of his nose. "Whatever, man. God forbid a girl has fun on her summer vacation." You turn on your heel, walking back down the corridor and hearing Seungcheol scold Jeonghan behind you. You nearly rip the handle off the door of the study room, seeing Joshua standing in front of the whiteboard with a textbook draped open in his hand. He looks back to see your furrowed brows, and the two teas in your hand.
"Are you alright?" "Did you have to tell all your friends that we slept together? Because I didn't tell anyone. I didn't even tell my best friend, you told her. I'd appreciate if you would stop ruining my fucking reputation." You slam the bottles on the table, and Joshua gives you a surprised look. "What the hell are you talking about, Y/N?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Joshua. Your stupid friend just cornered me at the vending machine, asking me all these stupid questions like he knows something about me. Newsflash! He doesn't, and neither do you!" You sit with a huff, and Joshua's ears are slightly red as he tongues his cheek. He glances down at the textbook in his hand, closing it and sliding it onto the table. You don't bother looking up at him, hearing the jingling of the door before he speaks. "Excuse me."
The door shuts behind him, and you look up to see that he didn't take any of his things. Meaning that he'd be back, after doing God knows what, and you'd have to deal with it. Sighing to yourself, you rub your temples, wondering how things got like this.
The semester just started. You didn't have time for this.
Silently, you begin to pack up your things. Your laptop goes in the designated slot, your extra tea gets packed snugly into the front pocket. You click your tongue, about to get up when the door opens and Joshua emerges with Jeonghan in tow, looking like a kicked puppy.
Your brows nearly reach your hairline as Jeonghan shuffles forward. Joshua gives him a hard look. "Apologize."
Sucking his teeth, Jeonghan gives you a once over before speaking quietly. "I'm sorry that my assumptions and behavior made you uncomfortable, and it won't happen again." The hand gripping your backpack loosens a bit, and Seungcheol pops up from behind Joshua with a sheepish look on his face. "I'm also sorry, Y/N. I know this is an odd situation for the two of you, and our instigation doesn't make it any better." Your jaw is a bit slack, and Jeonghan looks at Joshua. "Can I go now?" "Did you hear her accept your apology?" He asks, and Jeonghan sighs. "I guess not." Blinking, you just give Jeonghan a thumbs up. "You're…you're good, yeah. Uh, don't worry about it. You either, Seungcheol." You look over Joshua's shoulder to the older man, who smiles in response.
"We'll get going, then. We've got a party to plan." Seungcheol says warmly, and Jeonghan turns on his heel to exit the room. "I don't want to hear this shit from you guys again." Joshua mutters, all but slamming the door after them.
"You didn't have to do that." You mumble, and he looks at you with a scoff.
"Yes, I did. Whether we slept together or not is none of their business, and the only reason they know is because they were there. I don't need that being spread around campus or them being douchebags to you." He grabs the textbook again, uncapping the dry-erase marker before glancing at you. "Sit down, you've got me for two hours." You don't like the slight flutter in your stomach, or that your body involuntarily does as he says. You silently unpack your bag again, and he finishes writing example problems on the whiteboard. Feeling your stomach a bit uneasy, you uncap the tea to take a sip.
"Conjugation is very important. When I was grading your quiz, I noticed that was your biggest problem. I don't know how you got a B, really, when most of that quiz was conjugations, but I digress. Can you do these for me?" He holds out the marker, an expectant look in his eyes.
"Sure."
Friday, September 16th.
It'd been a little more than a week since you met with Joshua in the library.
And since the two of you officially acknowledged that you'd slept together. What you didn't know was, while he was having his own feelings about the history that weighed the two of you down, he wasn't going to force you to return his affections. In fact…he even felt a bit silly, liking you so much off of three weeks of getting the full experience of…well, you.
Better yet, he wasn't even going to tell you there are any residual feelings on his end. If he knew anything, it was you and your type. If he came off too strong – flowers, a date, chocolates and the like, he'd scare you off even more. You were skittish, like a deer, and he had to either slowly gain your trust…
Or irritate the living hell out of you every chance he got.
Subtle flirting, double entendres, maybe the occasional lingering look. He knew that if he wanted a chance, and man did he want it – he was going to have to work for it. No problem, though. You were definitely worth the wait.
"So, as you can see, the proper conjugation is hablar, not hablando." His laser pointer is steady at the bottom of the projector screen, and he looks up to see half of the class staring intently and the other half jotting down notes. You were neither of the two – your head was resting on Chan's shoulder, eyes low. He cleared his throat, your head jumping up and a wince crossing your features.
Joshua knew Chan was really no threat. The fraternity really liked him, and he was set to move in this weekend. According to Chan's Instagram story, you'd been at his dorm the night before helping him pack up. Saerom had also been there, and Soonyoung – another Beta Tau member. You had been holding a can of Red Bull and in one of the following videos, you were shotgunning another.
"Any questions?" He calls out, and Haerim shoots her hand up. "Yes, Haerim?" "Since this is a conversational class, how would we ask someone out? Or, for their number?"
The classroom fills with childish snickering, and Joshua just smiles as he shakes his head. "Well, I-" "I don't think this is an appropriate question, to be honest." Your voice is heard from the back of the classroom, and Haerim turns in her chair, a wicked smile crossing her lips as Joshua rounds the desk, perched on the edge of it. "And why not, Y/N?" She asks, and Joshua can see you shift uncomfortably in your chair.
"This is Beginner Spanish Conversation, not Coffee Meets Bagel. Flirt on your own time, at your own pace." You scoff, and Haerim's smile only grows wider. It's like she knows something about you, and Joshua notices you begin to bristle slightly. "Why are you so uptight about it, Y/N? It's just a question." "I'm paying for this class, as is everyone else. I think I'd like to appreciate my money's worth by learning something I'll actually use." "Alright, ladies. Honestly, Miss Y/N is partially correct. This is not Café y Rosquilla, but I do think that this is…a learning moment. Asking someone out does involve conversation, you know." Joshua attempts to diffuse, but he can see your subtle annoyance at his siding with Haerim. "So, for example, if I wanted to ask out…" He looks around the room, before a flash of diablerie crosses his eyes. "If I wanted to ask out Miss Y/N, I'd have to make conversation. I'd say…eres muy bonita." "Yeah?! What else?!" You hear Myungjun shout from the far left side of the room, and you can feel Chan's knee bumping yours. You scowl at him, earning a smile as he hides in his hoodie. "I'd say…" Joshua scans your face, and he knows you're probably embarrassed. Embarrassed, but enjoying his subtle attention. He pushes off the desk, pacing in front of the students. "Hm, I'd probably say I like her dress, or me gusta tu vestido."
He watches you cross your legs, tucking the extra fabric of your black dress under your thighs. "Okay, but how do you ask her out!?" Haerim interrupts excitedly, and Joshua is on the first step of the stairs before he catches your eyes again.
"You don't just ask someone out flat out like that. You build repertoire, you make conversation." He rolls his eyes playfully, and you think you're about to get off without any further embarrassment when you hear Chan speak up next to you. "How much repertoire can you even build at this point? Psychology says it only takes two minutes to decide if you like someone." Joshua sees you gape at Chan, before pinching his bicep. Chan pouts in your direction, rubbing his arm as Joshua holds back a laugh. "Psychology also says that there are five components to figuring out if we will have a crush on someone. Physical attraction, proximity, similarity, reciprocity and familiarity. Miss Y/N is very pretty, so physical attraction is checked off. Proximity is also checked, as we see each other three times a week for this class." "What about similarity?" Myungjun pipes up again, making you sink lower in your seat. Joshua is enjoying making you squirm a bit, and he steps up a few more. "Hm, I think that's something I'd have to figure out. Tell me, Miss Y/N, do you enjoy…long walks on the beach?" Your eyes are full of fire, and you'd be almost scary if he didn't notice the way your lip wanted to twitch into a smile. Haerim shouts for you to answer the question, making you send her a scornful look – and she just sticks her tongue out at you like a child. "I do…enjoy long walks on the beach."
"What a coincidence, so do I! Now, we have a similarity. Miss Y/N is familiar, because again, I do see her quite often. Now, it's about reciprocation. This is when you ask the question, this is when you try and make a move." "Shua, how do we make the move!?" Chan asks, and you kick his shin, about to tell him to shut up when Joshua finally reaches your row. He's looking you dead in the eyes, his hand gently wrapping around the edge of your desk. He leans forward, and you can hear the stupid woo-ing of your classmates. "Señorita Y/N, ¿le gustaría salir conmigo?"
Somehow, this all feels like some stupid romcom for the both of you. The class is egging you both on, and Chan is next to you with the most idiotic smile you'd ever seen. You huff, the class is now chanting for you to agree to said…"fake" date.
"No." You say quietly, and Joshua feigns pain. He holds his hand to his heart, a pained expression on his face. "You wound me, Miss Y/N."
He turns to the class, all of which are giving you the dirtiest look ever. "Now, now. This was just an example, don't look at her like that." He scolds, and the class turns back to face the front as he barrels down the steps, checking his watch.
"Shit, it's already ten past noon. You guys are free to go, and if any of you are taking Psych with Professor Seo Jungkwon, tell him I fulfilled his lecture for the day." This earns a laugh from the class, except you. You're angrily stuffing your laptop into your bag, the class eagerly exiting the room. Chan is holding your arm, apologizing most likely, but you don't seem like you want to hear any of it. By this point, Chan looks a bit like a kicked puppy as he quickly takes the steps down, with you following slowly behind him.
Chan is out the door by the time you make it to the last step, and the classroom is empty.
You arms are crossed as you approach the desk, where Joshua is quietly shutting down the projector. His eyes don't meet yours as he disconnects the machine from the wall, winding the cord up to tie together. "Y/N." He calls gently, and you huff angrily. He bites back a smile.
"Why do you insist on embarrassing me? The first week, it was you running your mouth to my best friend. Last week, you practically held Jeonghan at gunpoint to apologize to me. Today, it's putting me on blast in front of an entire classroom with people I will continue to see for the rest of the year."
"Oh? Was it embarrassing?" He's nonchalant as he looks up, tucking the wrapped cables behind the projector. Your eyes are narrowed, and it seems you've caught onto his little game. "Do you get off on this or something? Knowing you fucked one of your students?" "Hm, not necessarily. And none of what was done was done to embarrass you, per say. It's just decent honesty, and we both know you deserved an apology for Jeonghan's behavior." He states matter-of-factly, making you purse your lips. "What about your behavior? You asked me out in front of all these people!" You gesture to the empty room, and Joshua gives you a small smile. "And you rejected me in front of all of those people. The way I see it, it's a teaching moment."
He's on the same side of the desk as you now, resting against it as you complain. HIs smile seems to be getting under your skin, because you grab his shirt by the collar, pulling his face close to yours before you speak through gritted teeth. "Use someone else as your stupid guinea pig. I don't want to be with you, Hong." You're holding him so close, your lips just barely brushing his. He can't help but scan your face quickly, his hand reaching to brush a stray curl off your face. Your eyes follow his fingers, feeling them tuck the hair behind your ear before he swallows carefully. You can feel your stomach flip slightly as his hand drops, ghosting over your hip as he pushes off the desk, making you slightly stumble back. His fingers grab you gently, pulling you flush to him before his nose is touching yours. "Tell me you don't want me," He whispers, his breath hitting your lips making your lashes flutter closed as you press your lips to his. A whimper escapes his throat as he kisses you back, his grip tightening as your hand lets go of his shirt, your palm resting against his stomach as your other hand holds his waist. The kiss is slow but desperate, your tongue licking into his mouth in the way that drove him crazy over the summer.
He can't help himself, his hand moving to tangle in your hair, moving his lips down your jaw and exposed neck. A sharp inhale from you as he reaches one of the many sweet spots he'd discovered, a soft whine sounding in his ears making him feel dizzy as he nips at your skin. Pulling back, he holds your face close to his as he speaks again. "Tell me you don't want me, and we can stop this right now. I'll be nothing but professional for the rest of the semester."
He can tell that wasn't what you were expecting. Your eyes are wide and full of mixed emotions, but overall, they flash with a bit of fear. "I…" Your hands move to rest on his hips, a frown on your lips as you let go, and he does the same. His arms cross with an expectant look on his face, and you grimace.
"Stop embarrassing me in front of people, and if you don't have a good reason to talk to me or be near me, don't engage at all."
He gives you a nod, his smile reappearing as he reaches to wipe your lip gloss from his lips. "That being said, I'm guessing you will not be attending office hours tonight?" Huffing, you look away. "No. I have to help Chan move into the frat house with you and your hooligan friends."
"So I'll see you tonight anyway." He speaks with a grin, and you tongue your cheek. "Leave me alone, Joshua."
You spin on your heel, but his arm is on your elbow before you can walk away. He pulls you back, pulling you into a hug, pressing his lips to your hairline as you hesitantly wrap your arms around him. He speaks against your hair, "One more. For the road."
"Joshua." You groan, trying to hide the giddy feeling spreading in your stomach. He smiles at you, planting a kiss to the tip of your nose. "Just one, and I'll let you slam out of here like we were arguing."
You roll your eyes, but let him slot his lips with yours, the minty taste of him still lingering from the previous kiss. This one is much gentler, the warmth of his body against yours comforting as he pulls away with a chaste kiss. And another. And another.
"You said one." You grumble, swatting at his side to make him let you go. He smiles, his thumb coming to wipe at your lips. Your lipgloss is gone entirely, just glitter remaining. "Mmh. I'll see you later." "Whatever." You pull away from him, and he watches as you slam your way out of the classroom, a few students from your class still lingering in the hallway catching his eye. They look questioning, but he just shrugs as the door closes. He sighs as he looks around the empty lecture hall, a glimmer on the third step up calling his eyes.
Making his way towards the steps, he sees the gold plating of a seven-pointed star, a message engraved in the back.
For my brightest star, Y/N.
Picking it up, the diamonds mock him.
He feels slightly stupid to think this is fate, while knowing that once you realize it's gone, you'll be panicking. It seems nothing is really going right for you these days – your car being hit, fighting with Saerom, not being able to stand your ground against him…and now your necklace is 'gone'. He wants to be selfish and say it's because you're being a bit of a jerk to him.
So he'll believe that.
– ☆ –
"Chan! It's not here!"
Your hands feel disgustingly dry, having practically ripped apart every cardboard box you helped him pack. You'd managed to haul everything from his dorm to the fraternity house a few blocks down, having begged Saerom and Soonyoung to help you steal a flatbed from the construction majors. The three of you were helping Chan unpack a box of his underwear when you swiped your hair back from your neck, not feeling the chain of your necklace on your skin.
The four of you had stopped unpacking the moment you started panickedly patting yourself all over, and even standing up to shake off your shirt and hair. Now surrounded by a few of Chan's blankets, you were doing all but ripping up the carpet in the bedroom to find your cherished gift.
"It's not in the hallway! Going downstairs!" You hear Saerom call, and Chan is emerging from the bathroom with his flashlight on. "I swear you had it on when we fought earlier."
"Fuck, what if it fell off there?" You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to remember if you felt anything off after leaving the room. People stared at you as you barreled out of the language hall, you kissed Joshua…
You kissed Joshua.
"I'm pretty sure I had it on when I left! Remember, I even changed clothes when I got home so I wouldn't dirty my dress helping you move. I swear I felt it!"
At this point, you're shaking your hair out once more and Chan is throwing ripped cardboard into the hallway, hitting a passing Joshua. "Ouch!"
"Shit, sorry!" Chan winces, and Joshua scours the room, before his eyes land on you. Your hand is gently patting at your chest, where your necklace would usually sit as you shake out your sweater. He gives Chan a look, making him look back at you. Joshua glances at the cardboard boxes on the floor, and Chan gets the hint.
He clears his throat, garnering your anxious attention, "I'm going to take these down to recycling, and I'll check outside, okay? Just keep looking in here, it's gotta be somewhere."
Your eyes are slightly wild, and you just nod as you begin to shake Chan's blankets. A pair of underwear falls out, making you huff as Chan exits his room. Joshua leans on the doorframe, watching as you move around calculatedly. "What's got you so frantic?" You look over your shoulder, now squatted over a pile of shirts. "Why is it any of your business?"
He sucks his teeth, hands resting in his hoodie pocket. "Maybe I can help you? Ever think that I'm not out to get you like some sort of Boogeyman?" Your shoulders sag in defeat, and you just beckon him into the room. "Shut the door." You mutter, and he does just that before squatting in front of you, his ringed fingers splayed across the shirts in your hands.
"Shake these off."
"For?" He asks, but takes the first one and does as you ask. You feel a tear threaten to escape, but blink rapidly as he takes the next shirt. "Just do it." He does, but by the fifth shirt, he looks up at you. "You know…if you tell me what you're looking for, I may be able to help further." He says it like he knows something, and you just roll your eyes as you move onto the stack of Chan's sweatpants. "I lost my necklace, okay? I can't find it."
Stopping his movements, he smiles at you. "Hm, any idea where?" "No." You sigh, shaking off another pair of pants. A dollar bill floats out of the pocket, but neither of you bother to touch it as it floats down to the carpet. "I think you're wasting your time looking in here, actually." You look at Joshua, who is now moving to stand up. Scanning his face, your eyes narrow. "Where is it?" Stretching, he extends a hand to help you up. You scowl, getting up on your own as he shrugs. "Come on." He walks towards the door, flinging it open as two of the members run past with a basket full of eggs. "You better not be throwing those in here!" He barks, and their giggles only get louder as they barrel down the stairs.
He leads you to his bedroom, leaving the door ajar for you to close as you enter.
Your eyes scan the bedroom – it's very…serene. It's bigger than Chan's, and the bed is right under the window. There is sheet music pinned up to a corkboard above his desk, a few guitars propped up against the wall. His walls are covered in photos of him and his friends, and you spot one of him and Saerom as kids pinned higher on the wall than the rest. There is a small bookshelf, with a Bible and a few candles on top of it.
You're standing at the foot of this bed when you feel his hands on your neck, making you jump slightly. "Relax." He murmurs, the cool metal of your necklace making you shiver slightly.
"I found it on the steps in the classroom. Your clasp broke, so I took it to my friend in town. She's a jeweler, and she fixed it. I have the original clasp, in case you wanted to keep it." He holds up a plastic baggie, no bigger than the palm of his hand. You turn to look at him, your hand ghosting around for the star that hands in the middle of your chest.
"I should have texted, or emailed, at the very least. I just figured, I'd see you anyway—" "Thank you." You interrupt, your arms instinctively enveloping him into an embrace. You squeeze slightly, his own hands hovering over your back before touching you gently. "You're welcome." Without moving away, you speak into his sweater. "I'm sorry I've been such a douche to you lately."
He laughs a bit, his chest moving against your cheek. "Yeah…you have been. I'll send your parents an invoice for emotional damage." His fingers are rubbing circles in your back, and you hate that he knows you joke about your parents' emotional unavailability. Biting back a laugh, you push off him. Your hands linger at his sides, and he tilts his head.
"I meant what I said, you know." He states, and you glance up at him with a quizzical look on your face. "What?"
"That if you don't want to do…whatever this is, I'll leave you alone. I'll be professional for the rest of the semester." He gestures between the two of you. You don't look as taken aback as you did in the classroom, but a scoff does escape your lips as your arms fold across your chest.
"Okay? What does that have to do with now?" He steps a bit closer, making the back of your knees hit his bed. You sit out of instinct, watching as he runs his hand through his hair. He's so handsome.
"It has everything to do with you, and your general existence. Your best friend is my cousin. You're friends with Soonyoung, Jun and Chan, and they're all members of my fraternity. You're a student in a class I assist, we're going to be around each other no matter our feelings about each other." He's not really giving you an out of this conversation.
"I know you don't like that I told Saerom about what happened between us during the summer, and I want to apologize for telling her in the first place. It just slipped out, and I am sorry." He speaks sincerely, and you blink up at him before scooting slightly back on his bed, crossing your legs. He takes this as a sign to continue.
"I also want to say that what happened between us doesn't have to mean anything to you, at all." He shifts uncomfortably, making your eyes narrow. "I know it was just a fling, and I'm probably just confused about my feelings."
You hate the way tears prick at your eyes, before he spins his desk chair out, sitting down and leaning forward.
"I wanted to ask if you want to be transferred out. I have the transfer form ready, there is a spot in Professor Yoon Mirae's class. She said she'd gladly take you if that was the case." Your head snaps up at this, his eyes boring a hole into the pictures on the wall. "You…want to transfer me out?"
He stares at his fingers, toying with one of his rings as he replies. "I think it would be best for you. It only meets twice a week, and you'd probably get along better with Somin." He looks up at you, and you don't know what expression is on your face for him to immediately soften. "You don't want to?" "I think you…" You swallow thickly, scooting towards the edge of his bed, moving to stand up. "I think we need to forget that anything even happened between us." You whisper, and you can see hurt lace his eyes before he clears his throat, looking away from you as he nods. "Right." "I don't want to hurt you, Joshua." You fake confidence, noting the way he blinks rapidly, before standing up. "You're not hurting me, Y/N. We fucked over the summer. It's not like we dated."
You wince at his use of words. "Yeah, but–" HIs hand pushes the baggie with your clasp in it into your hand, "Don't worry about it, Y/N. I'll see you in class on Monday." Your fingers instinctively close around his, moving to squeeze his hand before he pulls it away. You stare up at him, feeling your face slightly burn in humiliation. You know that he's sensitive, and that the kiss earlier today probably meant a lot to him. Why is he acting like this? Like you didn't open up to him and tell him everything you couldn't even tell your best friend, like you didn't sleep with him for three weeks straight before leaving Puerto Vallarta.
You remember Chan's words…something something forming a crush in two minutes.
What can happen in three weeks?
"Was that all it was for you?" You ask gently, watching as he turns away from you. "I really don't want to have this conversation right now." He mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose and walking towards the door. He tugs his hoodie off, the white muscle tank showing off his broad shoulders. Shoulders you dug your nails into that summer, and you can see the remaining faint lines from you trailing down his back.
"Was it just sex?" You ask again, and he sighs. "No. It wasn't."
He hangs the hoodie up on the hook behind the door, and you take a step to him. "Then why are you acting like this?" He turns to look at you, eyes wide with incredulity. "Me?! Why are you acting like this? For almost a month you couldn't keep your hands off me, you couldn't stop talking about hating your life here, and suddenly, through whatever force of the universe, we're both stuck in this life that you dread. Excuse me if my best effort isn't enough for you." Eyes narrowed, you can feel your stomach bubble with a bit of anger. "There's no way you're the same guy I fucked for three weeks, Joshua. We were on vacation in a foreign country. I was telling you everything about me because I wasn't worried about ever seeing you again." "No, you did that because you're a liar." He mutters, making you suddenly feel a lot smaller than usual. "I am the exact same person I was then, Y/N! I'm not like you, I can't just flip-flop between two personalities. I can't lie to everyone that I care about just because I'm too afraid to stand up to my parents. You're doing yourself a disservice."
He's breathing heavily, and you can feel the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. Your pride is stronger, though, and you let out a humorless laugh. "I'll see you on Monday."
You shove past him, throwing his door open and slipping out before you slam it with all your might. You see Jeonghan carrying a basket with Chan's name on it down the hall, his eyes wide as you storm past him.
"Are you o-" "Fuck off." You spit, not bothering to swing back into Chan's room for your stuff. Saerom could bring it home, or leave it there, you don't really care. All you really know is that this place has got to be the most suffocating you've ever felt.
Wednesday, October 12th.
It'd been almost a month since you'd last spoken to Joshua.
You weren't in class the following Monday, having instead driven out to one of your mother's properties. You stayed the weekend there, and only drove back in the middle of the night on Tuesday. Professor Lee emailed you, and so did Joshua – though his was very much a copy-paste email. You didn't seek him out, you didn't speak to him. He didn't even attempt to make eye contact, almost always being the first to exit the classroom. You didn't even really talk to Chan or Saerom since you'd helped him move into the frat house, and you could tell they were growing worried about you.
Especially Saerom, as she heard Wherever You Will Go by The Calling play through your speakers almost everyday since. You played this song the first time the two of you went on vacation together, you were nineteen and your grandmother had just passed away that past November.
You didn't have time to worry about their feelings, though, as you parked your car in the lot, Chan silently unbuckled his seatbelt. It was nine-forty-six in the morning, and the two of you sighed simultaneously. "Want to take the long way? We've got fifteen minutes." You check your watch, and Chan gives you a slight nod. "Sure." The long way was walking around the language building into the technology hall – and Chan decided now would be a good time to update you on how Jeonghan and Seungcheol had an ongoing prank war with Mingyu and Wonwoo. It apparently wasn't going to end this weekend, and the reason? Beta Tau Omega was notorious for holding the best Halloween ragers. They held the largest one every year, with the other frats on campus stumbling to be pre-game parties and sororities simply giving up and going to the parties instead of hosting. The problem here was sourcing – Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua planned the party every year, including the random Jell-O wrestling and drinking contests. The liquor was never-ending, and the clean-up after was a mess (and at the hands of the newest members.)
This year, Mingyu insisted that he and Wonwoo could plan an even better party than the trio – hence, facing the wrath of practical jokesters Seungcheol and Jeonghan. Joshua insisted he wasn't involved in this, and would help either duo with the planning if necessary.
"Are you even listening?" You hear Chan snap his fingers in your face, and you blink at him. "Yeah, sorry. Planning?" He begins to speak again, allowing you to loop your arm with his and rest your head on his shoulder when you look up – and see Joshua leaning against the wall, twirling a strand of Baek Hyejin's hair. She was the Organic Chemistry TA, you got your labs graded by her. She was always very sweet.
You can feel eyes on you as you and Chan walk in lockstep down the stairs, and you see Joshua staring at you as Hyejin speaks to him. Nodding along as if he's listening, as if he cares. You scoff inwardly, shaking your head as you force your eyes forward, ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach.
It doesn't even matter. You don't like Joshua, and you wouldn't date him, either. You had too much to lose.
Seeing as you drove down to one of the properties, you met with your mother, as well. Your Saturday was spent in your mother's office, designing a new building with her to place on one of her newest properties down south. "You're going to manage this one first. The other tenants don't know you yet, and you'll have to ease into getting them to like you."Your father wasn't around the entire weekend. Your mother sighed repeatedly over dinner, before ultimately abandoning her plate at the table and whisking herself away with a bottle of Merlot. You didn't ask many questions, but you do remember walking by her study before going to the guest bedroom and hearing her on the phone, presumably with her sister.
"I wonder when she's going to get married. He can't be some random guy…do you still keep in touch with the Mins? Maybe Yoongi is willing this time." You hadn't even graduated yet, and she was already trying to pawn you off. Your father had stated strictly that he didn't want you to marry until you were firmly situated within the companies he owned, and your mother constantly bickered against it. No one ever asked you what you wanted.
Not that it mattered, anyway.
"...And so, Mingyu had to wash flour out of all his bedsheets. I think we'll have to get a new washing machine." Chan sighs as the two of you turn into the language hall, and you grimace. "You probably will, that shit sticks like glue." "Yum, gluten patterns." Chan laughs as you shiver, walking into the classroom. Somehow, Joshua is already there, making your grip on Chan's arm tighten a bit. He gives you a concerned look, but allows you to pull him slightly closer to you as you climb the steps to your regular seats in the corner.
"Good morning, everyone!" Joshua calls with a smile, and you hear the majority return the greeting as you and Chan situate yourselves. Crossing your legs, you face forward to see Joshua holding up a three-page packet. "There is a quiz!" A collective groan echoes the room, and Joshua gives a sorry grin. "I know, I know. However, it is an open-note quiz! Feel free to use your notes, and there is no time limit, even if you go over the noon end of the class. Take your time, and you can leave right after you're done." The class just fills with murmurs as everyone begins fishing through their bags for their notebooks, but you made no effort to do so as Joshua began walking around to distribute the papers. He hands two to Chan, who passes you yours and you notice the way Joshua's eyes linger to Chan's jacket on your shoulders before going back down the steps.
"I'll be grading these tests over the next two days, and I'll submit your grades by Thursday night. That way, we can review on Friday and you can attend office hours later that day if you're not satisfied with your grade or just feel like you need a little more help. Sounds good?" He asks, and earns a resounding yes from the class.
Time seems to be dragging on as you carefully read and re-read every question, hoping that your lack of notes won't fuck you over. You remember Chan giving you shit last week for only taking notes on your laptop – and you probably should have listened to him when he told you. Why? Because now you're without notes and you're possibly a little more than screwed, you've only been studying for your other classes.
Your 'how hard can it be?' mindset was now biting you in the ass.
You glanced up to the clock, seeing that there was fifteen minutes to noon – and three students remained aside from you and Chan. Clearing his throat, Chan inched his notes closer to the edge of his desk, making you kick his foot to move them back. He huffed, closing the notebook and standing. He tucks it into his backpack before hiking it over his shoulder, whispering that he'd meet you at the cafe as you'd planned last night. You nod, blowing him a joking kiss before hearing Joshua clear his throat.
The two of you look up, seeing the assistant with a raised brow, beckoning Chan towards the front. Chan gives you a small smile, before making his way to the front. You can hear them whispering at each other, and another two students stand up. You can feel a bit of nervousness sinking into your stomach as the last student stands as well, her bag on her shoulder as she drops her test on Joshua's desk. They chat for a bit, and you hate how you can hear his smile.
"B plus, way to go, Jiwoo. Keep this up, you'll get an A on the final!" He cheers, and she gives him a thumbs up before prancing out of the room. You feel small in the giant room, and Joshua sighs as he leans back in his chair. His laptop is out, and you assume he's going to start inputting grades.
Instead, you hear soft music flowing from the laptop as he starts moving around, grabbing the broom from the corner of the room. "Let me know if it bothers you, I'll turn it down." He speaks, and you just wave him off without looking at him.
You're staring at the stupid question for five minutes before huffing, not knowing why the difference between the subjunctive and the indicative mood even matters for this class. (Yes, you do. You're just being stubborn because you don't know the answer and it bothers you.) "Having trouble?" Joshua calls from the front, a smile on his face as he texts someone back on this phone. Probably Hyejin.
Probably planning a stupid date at a stupid restaurant where they'll order stupid dishes. Probably staring at each other like idiots and liking each other so much that nothing seems to satisfy their carnal needs–
You stop scribbling on your paper, blinking at your sudden train of thought. Why do you even care? Why does it even matter who he's texting, and what he's doing after this? Why? "Y/N?" He calls gently, and you look up to see a worried look on his face. "You okay? Thinking kind of hard, aren't you?" You huff, grabbing your bag by the strap and slightly crumpling your paper as you grab it. Your anger seems to radiate off you as you rush down the steps, nearing the desk with a sour look on your face. "So much for taking my time, huh?" He gives you a small frown, holding his hand out for your quiz. "I wasn't rushing you, just asking if you're alright. Your face was scrunched for twenty minutes." You know it was. You can still feel the tension between your brows as you rub it gently, a pout on your lips as you hand him the paper. "Yeah, well…your job isn't to stare at me. See ya."
"Hmm, but I like staring at you." He hums, uncapping his pen with his teeth as you make your way to the door. "Have a good day, Y/N." You hate the sing-song of his voice.
– ☆ –
The cafe had been super packed, so you and Chan decided to take your drinks to go. Unfortunately, Saerom was holding a study group at the apartment, so your only option was Chan's room at the frat house. You begrudgingly let him try to cheer you up as you sulked up the stairs to his room, holding your drink as Chan carries your bag for you.
"You know, one of the brothers thought we were dating? They asked me after I left Spanish earlier." He ponders aloud, and you snort. "Yeah, I can see why. I do get…pretty affectionate." You reply sarcastically, taking his hand in yours for extra emphasis.
He rolls his eyes as the two of you reach the top floor, and he fishes his keys out as you continue to tease him. "I'd never date you, you're a snotty-nosed brat. I bet you don't even know how to kiss." He sticks his tongue out at you, making you gape.
"I may be a snotty-nosed brat, but I'm a great kisser. Not that you would know, you've never felt the touch of a woman." You bite back, making him gasp. "I have too felt the touch of a woman! You literally took my-" He cuts himself off, looking over your shoulder down the hallway. You furrow your brows, looking over to see Joshua whispering sweet nothings in Hyejin's ear as he hugs her, and her giggles as she brushes her nose against his.
"I'll see you later?" He mumbles, eyes low as he nearly kisses her. She giggles again, before placing her manicured nail on his chest. "Bye, Joshie." "Bye." He smiles, letting her spin out of his arms, watching as she walks down the hall to the stairs. Only then does he notice that you and Chan are standing there, and his face flushes lightly. "Hey, guys. Sorry you had to see that." "Don't be." Chan nods awkwardly, his hand finding your hip to pull you into his bedroom. You grimace in Joshua's direction, before skirting into Chan's room. Chan lingers at the door, before sighing, and entering his room.
"Don't be upset, Y/N." He murmurs as you kick your shoes off, setting your drink down on his desk and shrugging off his jacket. "I'm not upset." You mutter, grabbing your bookbag and pulling out your laptop.
"I can tell you are." He sighs, slipping his shirt over his head, and opening his drawer to reach for a new one. "He's just our TA for a little longer, then we'll both pass the class and get the hell out of there." You look over your shoulder as he pulls a new shirt over his head, rolling your eyes. "It doesn't matter. He's gonna fuck who he wants to, so all I can do is the same." "Y/N, I am only a man." He gives you a warning look, and you snort. "Not you, you rabid dog." "Hey! I've gotten better! I even invented a stroke, I call it the helicopter." He moves his hips in a circular motion, making you shriek out a laugh. "You're a fucking freak."
"I'm just saying, I'm available. If not, I heard that Myungjun is still into you." He shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. You wrinkle your nose, taking a seat on his bed. "Hell no. He likes to talk about his hookups, I don't like blabbermouths." "Then you're fucked, Y/N." He smiles, taking a seat at his desk. "But, I have a proposition." "Chan, if it involves your dick anywhere near me, I'm going to kill you." "You liked it the first time!" He throws an eraser at you, and you snicker. "I didn't know any better then. Anyway, I see the way you look at Haerim. You're not slick." You wag your finger at him, and he flushes lightly.
"So my plan is, I let you act a fool in here and make it seem like we're fucking, and you have to help me get Haerim. Tit for tat." He points his pen at you, and you scoff. "That is so not tit for tat! Haerim is a distinguished young woman, she'd never go for a gremlin like you." "Hurtful!?" He slumps in his chair, making you snicker. "I appreciate your help, Channie. But really, I don't care. It's his life." You shrug, and Chan knows you're lying. "I'm gonna get some water, I'll be back."
You hop off the bed, smoothing your skirt as you open the door. "Can I also steal snacks?" You ask, and Chan nods. "Go for it, Seungcheol buys them." He snorts, and you give him a grin as you close the door behind you.
You take a deep breath as you brace the stairs, hearing a few of the frat brothers speaking quietly in the den. Peering over the banister, you see a card game strewn on the coffee table, with Jeonghan, Seungcheol and Joshua holding cards. They're all dressed comfortably, and Seungcheol has an ice pack on his knee. He looks up, seeing you peering over the banister. He doesn't speak as you smile at him, only returning it as you continue down the steps. You make it back down to the first floor, giving them a curt nod as you walk past them into the kitchen. "Gentlemen." "M'Lady." Jeonghan replies without looking up, and you look over his shoulder to see that he's got a dirty deck of cards, and he's about to win. "Don't mind me." You skirt into the kitchen, grabbing two cups out of the cupboard and helping yourself to the ice machine. You mind your business as you move around, grabbing a bag of chips and a packet of Gushers, before you see a woven basket on the counter with an assorted amount of condoms. You grab a rope of them, holding it between your teeth as you tuck the chips under your arm and the glasses in your hands. You move back across the den, once more greeting the men. "Gentlemen."
Joshua looks up to see why your voice is different, seeing the blue foil packet reflecting the light. Seungcheol snorts, "Have fun, don't be too loud. Minghao is sleeping across the hall from you." "Will do, Cheol." You reply, carefully trekking the stairs. You can hear a soft Ow! What'd you do that for!? as you reach the top floor, hearing the front door slam. You put the cups down on the windowsill next to the stairs, and look over the banister to see Seungcheol and Jeonghan snickering. "Did he leave?" You call, and Jeonghan gives you a thumbs up. You rip the top condom off the thread before tossing down the rest. "Thank you, Beta Tau Sluts!"
"You're welcome!" Seungcheol calls back, catching the condoms before they land in his drink. You grab your drinks again, carefully opening the door with your elbow and Chan looks up to see you. You set the glasses down on his desk, holding up the condom between your fingers.
"Use this with a really special girl, I just pissed off the Vice President of your frat with it." You snicker, and Chan just shakes his head. "Get in here, idiot. We need to study, or OChem is going to eat us for breakfast." "Oh, me first!"
Friday, October 14th.
Joshua put in grades the night before, and you were one point shy of a B minus.
You pretend it doesn't bother you.
Chan was sick, so he'd texted you that morning asking to take notes for him. You took the opportunity to invite Haerim to sit with you – and talk him up. Luckily, there wasn't much talking to do – she already thought he was very cute, but didn't make a move because she thought the two of you were together. You were honest about the past between you, and she just snorted, admitting she'd done the same with a friend of hers.
Msg To: Channie ♡
[10:33AM] mission haerim x chan is a go! [10:33AM] i gave her ur number so…don't fumble.
"Hello, everybody." Joshua calls from the front, and you and Haerim snap your heads up. He starts setting up the projector after everyone replies to his greeting, and she glances at you. "I wonder who broke his heart over the summer." She sighs, and you nod.
"I don't think she meant to." You shrug, your heart warming a bit at the memories. You really regretted it, of course – and it bothered you that it didn't bother him more. You'd been spending a lot of your nights just thinking about it, about him, about opening up to him.
"Well, I hope he heals. She definitely messed up, I've heard he's an absolute sweetheart." She nods, and you smile tightly. "Yeah, he is. His cousin is my best friend. Saerom?" She nods again, "I have Psych with her." "Alright, we're reviewing today." He sighs, and you notice how tired he looks. Eyes are a little swollen. Maybe Hyejin dumped him.
You don't like the giddy feeling you get at that thought.
The review goes by quietly, with Joshua's voice growing more and more tired as he speaks, and he wraps the class up with almost thirty minutes to go. Students walk by and say they hope he feels better, and he just nods at them. You linger, telling Haerim you need to talk to Joshua about office hours, and she leaves without a second thought.
The door closes behind her, and you clear your throat.
"Sick?" You ask, holding out a bag of cough drops. You'd bought them that morning, after Saerom complained of sore throat. He glances at you, and the bag, before shaking his head. "I'm good." Frowning, you step closer to him as he puts his laptop in his bag. "Then what's wrong?" Your voice is gentle, and he stiffens at the sound of it. "Nothing is wrong, Y/N. Thank you for worrying, but I'm fine."
He looks up at you, his eyes lightly rimmed red. You go to speak, but he pulls his bag over his shoulder, moving away from you. "I'll be at the house today, Chan is sick. If you need to talk." You say, before spinning on your heel to leave.
He doesn't respond, only turning away with a frown. "Have a good day, Joshua." "You too, Y/N."
– ☆ –
You were standing in front of the Beta Tau house, waiting for someone to come open the door. Jun was at a study session with Saerom and Soonyoung was out teaching a class, so you were at the house alone. Hearing the doorknob jingle, you look up to see a sleepy Seungcheol opening the door.
"Hey, Y/N. Come in, Chan is in his room." He yawns as he opens the door wider, and you just shake your head in amusement. He and Jeonghan had stopped being a problem after Joshua called them out, and it wasn't long for you to figure out they were friendly based on their treatment of Chan. Very brotherly…very…teasing.
"Hey, Y/N." Jeonghan gives you a curt nod as he stands in front of the mirror by the stairs, giving himself a once over before turning to Seungcheol. "I look okay?" "Yeah." He nods, and you look at Jeonghan over your shoulder. There is a silver packet sticking out of his pocket, "Might wanna tuck that in a little further." You call, before turning back around and trekking the stairs.
"Thanks!" He calls, shoving his hand in his pocket with wide eyes. Seungcheol laughs as you reach the top, before you hear the door open and close with Jeonghan's departure. "Boys." You roll your eyes, before reaching Chan's door. You carefully open the door, trying not to let too much light in.
Chan is draped across his mattress, a fever patch plastered on his forehead. There are half empty bottles of electrolyte drinks all over the floor, and a bowl with Jeonghan's name printed across it. You look inside, seeing broth lingering.
They're taking care of him.
"Y/N?" You hear him croak, and you almost coo. "Oh, Chan. You're a mess." You set the bag of goodies down on his desk, fishing the thermometer out. "Open." You command, peeling the patch off his forehead and sticking the thermometer in his mouth.
You pick up a bit before the thermometer beeps, and you stare at the numbers. "Pretty mild, you've got a 101° fever." You grimace, shaking the thermometer off before skirting around to unpack the bag.
"I'm going downstairs to make you some tea, okay? I'll be right back." You mumble, before peeling the plastic off another fever patch and sticking it to the back of his neck. He shivers a bit, but nods as he closes his eyes.
Exiting the room just as carefully, you sigh. Taking the stairs quickly, you spot Seungcheol on the couch, "Hey." "Hey. He took some Advil a bit ago, and we've been alternating." He informs, and you can feel warmth spread across your chest. "Aw, you guys really care about the pipsqueak." "He's a good kid." Seungcheol nods, taking a sip of his water before eyeing the ginger root in your hand. "Cutting board is in the bottom cabinet, to the left." "Thanks." You smile, making your way to the kitchen. You see Joshua standing against the dishwasher, arms crossed and eyes closed. There is a popcorn bag in the microwave, likely his. You don't bother to say anything, just quietly opening the cabinet and retrieving the stone cutting board, rinsing it with water.
"He's also thrown up everything we've given him the past twelve hours." Joshua murmurs, his eyes still shut as he nods. "Oh. Sounds like viral gastroenteritis." You sigh, opening the drawer for a knife as the microwave beeps. He doesn't move towards it, but fills a pot with water for you and puts it on the stove. He watches silently as you slice up the ginger root, your shoulders tense.
The water starts to heat up, and you move to find a mug and honey. "Here." Joshua pulls one out from behind him, water droplets still on it from being freshly washed. You take it, "Thank you." "Can we talk when you're done? I'll be in my room." He murmurs, and you nod slowly. "Yeah, sure. I just need to feed him, something is something." He nods, opening the microwave to pull out the bag. He turns, opening a cabinet to retrieve a bowl and pour the popcorn in. He gives you a tired nod before exiting, and you peek around the corner to see him hand the bowl to Seungcheol, who thanks him quietly.
You sigh, forcing yourself to focus on the task at hand. You strain the boiled ginger tea, pouring it over three cubes of ice and a hefty amount of honey. You clean up quickly, and organize things in the kitchen before exiting again, a spoon in your hand in case they didn't give you one for the porridge you bought.
"Good luck." Seungcheol smiles at you, and you give him a soft laugh. "Thanks, I'll need it."
Trying to get Chan awake proves to be most difficult once you get back to his room. He rolls over lazily, and you have to prop him up so he can drink the tea. You also carefully prepare his porridge, even going as far as spoon feeding him.
"It's so bland." He whines, and you just shake your head at him. "It's supposed to help your stomach, Channie. Just eat." He gets halfway through the bowl before he decides he doesn't want anymore, asking you to just leave it. You nod, putting the lid back over the top and choosing to clean up the mess in his room. Bottles, plates, cups, all in your arms as you exit the room once more, carefully walking down the stairs.
Seungcheol sees you, and quickly gets up to take them from you. "Woah, I didn't realize it accumulated so fast. Here, I got it, pretty." He grabs everything in one hand, before taking it to the kitchen. You follow, rolling up your sweater sleeves when he waves you off. "You're a guest. I got it, go." You find yourself floating back into Chan's room one last time, just peeking in to make sure he's sleeping. You call out, telling him to call you if he needs anything, that you'll be here for a bit. He just gives you a thumbs up. You take a deep breath, seeing Joshua's door slightly ajar. You walk over slowly, knocking on the door gently and poking your head in. He looks up from his desk, his laptop open to six different tabs and a drafted email. "Come in."
"Hi." You greet, closing the door behind you. He sighs, rubbing his palms on the fabric of his sweatpants. You inch toward him, looking at his screen. It's full of drafted projects, and the email is addressed to a certain Kwon Jiyong, DMA. You reach over and gently close the laptop, his tired eyes watching you do so.
"What's wrong?" "I'm sorry." He confessed, and you tilt your head. "Hm?"
"I was a jerk to you, the other day." He blinks up at you, and you stand for a moment, thinking back. "You mean when you called me a liar?" You smile, a soft laugh escaping. "I'm not mad anymore, you're weren't wrong. I am a liar." Shrugging, you point to the bed. He nods, and you take a seat. "Whether or not you are one…doesn't give me the right to treat you the way I did. I blew up on you, and I never do that, and it's frankly been eating away at me." He admits, and you nod, trying not to let your eyes go too wide. "Losing sleep?" "Unfortunately." Muttering, he opens the laptop again, typing in his password for the tabs to pop up again. "This isn't helping, either." he spins the mouse all over the screen, and you nod.
"Maybe you should take a breather. Go for a walk, find a muse." You offer, and he looks at you with a pained expression. You think this is the smoothest conversation you've had since your reunion. "Come on, let's go on a walk." You stand, offering your hand. He looks at it, and you wiggle your fingers.
He stands, taking it cautiously as you walk forward, grabbing his sweater off the hook and handing it to him. You open the door, seeing Haerim in the hallway with a bag in her hand.
"Haerim?" You call, your hand tightening around Joshua's, and she jumps. "Shit, Y/N. You scared me." She holds her hand to her chest, before holding up the bag. "I bought him some stew, Mingyu told me he's been really sick." Joshua peers over your head, making Haerim's eyes widen like saucers. "Shua?" "Hey, Haerim." He nods, and only then does she see the tight hold you have on Joshua's fingers. "I can explain–" You start, and she just smiles widely. "Damn, I didn't recognize your game. Respect." She nods, holding her hand over her mouth. You wince as he shrugs, tugging you slightly forward.
"Text me." She whispers as he walks past you, and you nod quickly. The two of you walk down the stairs, and Seungcheol is now sitting on the couch again – and he gives you a lazy smile. "Damn, Y/N. You've got hella game." You laugh embarrassedly, as Joshua fixes the way your hands are intertwined. He slots his fingers between yours, grabbing his keys off the hook by the door and opening it. "Ladies first." He murmurs, and you wave goodbye to Seungcheol before stepping out into the cool October air.
"Where to?" He asks, closing the door behind himself. You shrug, shivering slightly as you start down the path. "Wherever you need to."
The two of you walk aimlessly, before you spot the hill you used to visit during your sophomore year, before you finally convinced Saerom to transfer to your university. You'd lay on this hill with Jun, staring at the sky and talking to him about the stars. He was always surprised about how much you knew, but was kept in the dark like everyone else.
Everyone but Joshua.
"Here. I used to come here all the time." You point at the lavender-covered hill, and he lets you lead him up, before standing amongst all the flowers. "Look at the sky."
You tilt your head up, watching as the evening sunset looms overhead. He does the same, before speaking quietly. "I'm not dating Hyejin." Your head lolls to the side, a knowing look on your face. "I know." You lie, shrugging nonchalantly as you turn back to the sky. "How?" "You like me. Hard to move on so fast." You hesitate, and he inches closer. "Yeah?" "Yeah." You breathe, feeling the warmth of his body radiating onto you. You shiver a bit, and he sighs, tucking you into him. His sweater is open, and he lets go of your hand to wrap your arms around him. He does the same, wincing lightly at the cold feeling of your hands on his back.
"I'm still very sorry, you know." He laments, and you give him a tight smile. "I shouldn't have said any of it, especially not about your parents." He looks down at you, your eyes peering up at him already.
"My parents suck, don't take back what you say about them." You shrug, scanning his face. "I am confused about the Hyejin thing." "Right, that." He sucks his teeth lightly, a slight blush coating his cheeks. "She…asked for my help, and I have a really hard time saying no." "Of what nature was this 'help?'" You make air quotes, and Joshua can see a glint of the green-eyed monster in your demeanor. He smiles, moving to card his fingers through your hair gently. "Making an ex-boyfriend jealous kind of help." "Doesn't explain why you two were about to kiss when Chan and I got up the stairs." You say pointedly, his fingers toying gently with your earring. Another gift from your grandmother, he remembers these, too. A sun and a moon. "Let's just say I could recognize your voice from a mile away." You quirk a brow at him, before scoffing. "You're obsessed with me." "Since I saw you in that white dress." He nods, making you roll your eyes. You bite back your smile, "Can I kiss you?" "You're asking?" He tilts his head, and you snort. "Some of us don't like to assume things." You say with a tinge, and he shrugs. "I know when someone wants me." "I don't want you." You shake your head, a frown on your lips as you run your own hands through his mussed hair, peering over his shoulder to see an empty campus. Odd, for this hour. "Oh, you don't?" He entertains your shenanigans, before tilting your chin up to look in your eyes. "Nope." You pop the 'p', nuzzling your nose with his. His fingers are gently tracing your jaw before he presses his lips to yours. You melt into his touch carefully, his other hand softly holding your hip, squeezing before he pulls away, touching his forehead to yours. You blink up at him, "I don't want you. I need you."
"Did you sleep with Chan?" He asks, a bit roughly as he adjusts his hold on you. His hands move to rest on your back, and you shake your head. "Not recently, no." "Recently?" His eyes widen, and you snort. "Once, three years ago." You roll your eyes, and he nods. "No plans of sleeping with him soon?" "None." You murmur, and he bites his lip, a smile threatening to take over. "Plans of sleeping with anyone else?" "Don't know, there is this one guy." You pretend to think, pulling his hands to the front and lacing your fingers with one, taking him further down the hill slowly. The flower field comes into view, and you look up at the sky to see it's darkened remarkably. "Do you know the story of Altair and Vega?" "The story of Altair and Vega?" He echoes, allowing you to sit him down, plopping down next to him before clearing your throat. You nod, placing his hand on your inner thigh. "For warmth." You roll your eyes, before leaning back on your hands. "It's an old Chinese legend. Altair is the brightest star in the Aquila constellation." You search the sky for it, before spotting it overhead. "There." You point, and he nods.
"You told me about those three stars over the summer. Vega, Altair and Deneb." He recalls, and you feel your smile take over your face. "You remember that?"
"We can talk about that later." He shrugs, pressing a kiss to your cheek as you nod carefully. "Right…so, out of the three, Vega is the brightest. In their story, Altair is nothing but a shepherd. He herds cows after being abandoned by his family, and he yearns for love. His only love is music, and he plays lovely melodies on the flute."
Turning slightly to face him, you shrug. "Vega was said to be a goddess, from the Heavens that was forbidden from interacting with mortals, but she heard his song and it was love at first sight. She would leave the Heavens at sunrise and sunset to be with him. They even had children together. Her mother grew suspicious, and demanded she return to the Heavens. She did so."
"The shepherd had a beautiful ox with thick skin. Seeing the way his owner yearned for the love of the goddess, he offered his skin as a sacrifice to reunite them. It didn't work."
"Why?" Joshua asks gently, his eyes still staring up at the stars overhead. "Her mother was enraged. She created a band of stars to separate them. Their love can't be, not the way they want it." You sigh, and he glances at you.
"So what are you saying?" His voice holds no malice, only curiosity. You feel his hand tighten around your thigh slightly, prompting you to remove it and swing your leg over his lap, adjusting yourself to sit on his thighs. He gives you a look of confusion, but you just lace your fingers with his before taking a deep breath. "I'm saying that I'm a coward." You admit with a mutter, not able to look him in the eyes as you blink back the sting of tears. "I'm saying that…I want to, you know. I want to be brave, I want to tell my parents that I'm not their puppet, I want to pursue my own dreams." "What's stopping you?" He murmurs, his thumb rubbing small circles into your skin. "Fear." You sigh. "Fear of failing. Fear of…not being good enough." "Good enough for what? You're smart, you're passionate. You love this." He gestures at the sky, and you look into his eyes, his face blurry behind tears as you whisper just loud enough for him to hear you. "Good enough for you."
He sighs at this, reaching his fingers up to wipe at a few fallen tears. "There is another story in your legend, but in Greek mythology." Your head tilts to the side, and he smiles. "Lyra, means lyre. Orpheus was a musician in mythology, and a renowned poet. He even went down to Hades' hell to try and save his wife." "Eurydice." You murmur, and he nods. "He loved her more than anything, alongside his music. The story of how Lyra came to be, is that Eurydice died. She was bitten by a venomous snake and had long died by the time Orpheus found her. He was so heartbroken, he played the saddest melodies known to man and it affected everyone else just as much as it did him. He loved her so much, he went to the depths of Hades' hell to beg for her back, to live her full life, to enjoy her time."
He scans your face, feeling your fingers trace shapes into his abdomen. "Hades broke the rule, one time. He sympathized with Orpheus, and since they were both mortals, he knew they'd eventually return to him once their lives were over. The catch?" He took a piece of your hair between his fingers, twirling it through nimble fingers.
"Eurydice had to follow him out, and he wasn't allowed to look back at her until they got back to Earth, lest he'd send her right back." He said with a hum, watching as your lips pursed in discontent. "He turned back, didn't he?" "He feared she'd get lost in the dark. Just before they got back, just before they made it, he looked back and the gates to Hades' darkness were shut. He wept for her, for seven days and seven nights outside of those gates, but he never saw her again." He sighed, tucking the strand of hair behind your ear. "He was beaten to death by drunk women four years later, during a celebration for Dionysus. He never moved on, and was deemed a woman hater because he consistently rejected any and every woman for his Eurydice. His lyre was thrown in the river, and Zeus sent an eagle for it. That's how you got Lyra."
Pointing at the sky, the two of you watch how the sky slowly turns.
Without looking back at him, you whisper, "What are you saying?" "I'm saying…I don't want you to be Eurydice. Lost forever because I can't let you go." He splays his large hands across your thighs, the cold of his fingertips making you look back down at him. "But, I know that Orpheus and Eurydice deserved a happy ending. And I know that three weeks is a very short time to get to know someone, but I think…I know you better than almost anyone in your life." You stifle a laugh, nodding. "Nobody knows me like you, Joshua. Saerom doesn't even know I'm a double major." "Bad girl, very bad." He scolds you teasingly, before his thumbs press lightly into your thighs. "I want you to be happy. And if it means that this…whatever, we are…is a secret for a while, I'm okay with that." He shrugs, and you glance down at him.
"You know you deserve better, right?" You murmur, and he sighs. "It's either you or that lunch lady from my freshman year that's been after me for ages. Please, please save me." His tone is joking, but the look in his eyes is serious, solemn.
"Are you sure?" Your thumb pads his slight under eye bags, and he leans into it. "Yes, but don't give in to me so easily. I like the little mind games you play."
Snorting, you flick his nose gently. "What, so you want me to keep being defiant?"
"It's kind of hot." He crinkles his nose at the admission, and you let out a laugh. A genuine laugh, unlike your normal ones. "You're so…" He trails off, tilting his head to the side before sighing.
"I'm so what? Annoying? Stubborn? A snotty-nosed brat?" You prod, and he just smiles. "Yes, all of that. But…I don't know. You're so…easy to love."
"You…love me?" The confusion in your voice makes his chest ache. "I can't, uhm, I can't say I'm super well versed in the topic." He clears his throat, seeing your eyes become slightly glossy. "I just…I know that you feel right. I know that seeing you makes me less stressed. Nobody has been able to pull me away from my desk all week, Cheol had to physically drag me out earlier to eat something. I keep thinking back to our first night together, because the stress of some deadlines I have coming up is just driving me mad. But closing my eyes and just thinking about you, and knowing that you're not really this person you've painted for ages, I know. I think I feel closer to you, knowing that you've confided in me to keep this secret of yours, and I'm honored. I want to make you feel…wanted, needed. I want you to know that you are so much more than 'good enough.' If anything, I will never be enough for you, and I could spend the rest of my life working to earn you and your love." You're silent for a moment, taking in his words as your hands ghost over his. You give him a small smile, toying with the ring on his finger. "I should get you home." You murmur, and he smiles as he straightens, placing his hands on your back so you don't topple. "Anywhere you are is home, Y/N."
You don't respond, choosing to give him a chaste kiss. "We really need to get you home, I have to check on Chan." You speak against his lips, and he nods. "Fine, fine." The two of you get up, and Joshua files your lack of response into the back of his mind. Was it too much? Did he cross a line?
The walk is quiet, but you're holding his hand tighter than you had on the stroll earlier. You're holding him closer, even holding onto his arm with your opposite hand and resting your head slightly on his shoulder. When you reach the frat, he unlocks the door to see Seungcheol and Jeonghan debriefing about Jeonghan's date on the couch. Jeonghan almost calls him over when he sees you float in after him, a loud whoo! from his mouth.
"Shut up!" You groan, gesturing up the stairs. "Chan is sleeping!" "Woo!" Jeonghan cheers again, albeit quieter, and you roll your eyes. Joshua takes your sweater off your shoulders, and you allow him to do so as he hangs them on the rack by the door. "How was your date, Jeonghan?" "Good! She was very sweet, good taste in music." He smiles softly, before glancing between you and Joshua. "Did you…talk?" He clears his throat, and you feel Joshua's hand on your back, his eyes looking up the stairs.
"We can debrief what happened between us…at a later date." You smile, and Jeonghan gives you a knowing look. Seungcheol sips his beer with a smirk, shaking his head as the two of you climb the stairs gingerly. "Check on Chan." Joshua whispers, kissing the back of your neck before turning to his room.
Knocking gently, you open the door to see Haerim watching him carefully. She's holding the thermometer in her hand, shaking it as she sighs. She doesn't startle when she sees you, a warm smile on her face as she holds it up. "Still mild fever." "No vomit, right?" You ask, closing the door behind you. She shakes her head, pointing at the empty stew bowl she brought. "He practically inhaled it." "Traitor, he didn't want to eat the porridge I brought him." You scoff, and she laughs. "How was…you know." She gestures in the direction of Joshua's room, and you feel yourself get a little giddy. She notices the wry smile on your lips, giving your arm a soft smack before nagging you. "What happened!" "He likes me." You shrug, biting back your squeal as she bounces on her toes with a toothy grin. "He likes you?!"
"Yes!" You giggle, bouncing with her, and Chan groans behind the two of you. You both clench your teeth shut, lowering your voices. "I'll update you some other time, okay? I'll be at his beck and call, so don't worry about Chan." Haerim nods, not bothering to probe before she hikes her knapsack over her shoulder. She leans, pressing a soft kiss to Chan's hairline, telling him she's leaving. He nods weakly, squeezing her hand before she pulls away. "Should I get one of the guys to walk you home?" You ask, and she shakes her head. "My roommate's been waiting for ages for me to call her. I'll see you on Monday?"
She walks towards the stairs, and you nod. "See you, Haerim."
"Chan, I'm going home. Call me, or have one of the guys call me if you need anything." You call into the room, and he groans in response. You snort, grabbing your purse off his desk and carefully shutting the door, sighing as you take a few steps down the hall to Joshua's room. You knock lightly, opening the door when you hear him hum.
He's sitting in front of his laptop again, a frustrated look on his face as he connects a soundboard to his laptop, before feeling your presence. You smile at him, arms crossed before you speak, perching on the edge of his desk. "I'm going home."
"I know, I asked Cheol to walk you because I really need to focus." He says, a bit of sadness peeking through. You nod, "Thank you." "Can you text me when you get home?" His question is more of a demand, but you can see he's not trying to push it. "Yes, sir." You push off the desk, reaching to wrap your arms around his neck as he leans into his computer.
"Don't work yourself too hard, lover." You whisper in his ear, pressing a kiss to his temple before feeling his hand on your wrist, twisting his head to look at you. There's a soft blush coating his cheeks. "What'd you say?" "I said I'm going home." You change your expression to a stoic one, and he almost chokes on his laugh. "I'll see you on Monday."
"Yeah, for sure." He gives your wrist a gentle squeeze, "Let me walk you out, at least." "Don't kiss me in front of your friends." You warn, and he snorts. Standing, he watches as your arms drape to your sides before you clasp your hands in front of you before walking out into the hallway. You both barrel down the stairs, and hear Jeonghan whining over a bottle of tequila about his date. "She's so hot, Cheol, you don't get it." "I get it, I get it." Seungcheol replies distractedly, his eyes flickering up to you and Joshua reaching the foyer. "Ready to go, Y/N?" He stands, going to the closet to rummage for a jacket. "Yeah, thanks for doing this." You smile sheepishly, and Jeonghan looks up. "Oh, you're going home?" "Yeah, Chan's sleeping and…" You clear your throat, giving Joshua a quick glance. He catches on, "I'm busy. Doing shit. Important, you know."
"Tell us more about how you wouldn't be able to control yourselves, why don't you?" Jeonghan grimaces, and you snort. "This is why you're here, yearning for your date instead of being back at her apartment." "The hell is that supposed to mean!" He pouts, and Joshua snorts as he helps you pull your jacket on. "It means you're a bitch, Han."
"Don't make me tell Y/N all your dirty little secrets, Hong." Jeonghan tilts the shot glass in his direction, making you go wide eyed as Seungcheol returns, a blue and white varsity jacket draped over his shoulders. "Alright, let's scoot. The night is young." He stretches, and you smile at Jeonghan.
"Hope you get the girl, Hannie." You say softly, and his eyes soften. "Thanks, Y/N." "Bye, Joshua." You murmur as Seungcheol steps outside, muttering about the cold under his breath. Joshua looks to Jeonghan, who has his eyes closed, before pulling you into him. "One for the road?" You roll your eyes, "One for the road."
Thursday, December 29th.
The past two months had been a mess. Your parents had continuously dropped by randomly (and they dropped by the night of the Beta Tau Halloween rager), making both you and Saerom annoyed. She'd recently started seeing Jun (which kind of makes you grateful you're not in the apartment for their study sessions, who knows what freak shit they're on) and neither of you could study or rest in peace without feeling like they'd drop by.
Missing the party was the least of your worries, because you knew Joshua wasn't going to be involved in it anyway. He sent you a text from his desk, his guitar needing to be restrung because he couldn't pull himself away from his work. You'd told him to go for a walk.
Message From: Joshua Hong (TA) [11/03] What use is a walk if you're not there to kiss my worries away? You hadn't replied, opting to choose to scream into your pillow like a giddy teenaged girl.
In this time, you'd also managed to sit Saerom down and really speak to her about yourself. You told her that you didn't feel like yourself, and when she asked why, you broke out a bottle of wine and the two of you broke down the last few years of your lives. You admitted that you didn't want any part of your family's business, and Saerom had only given you a softened look.
"Don't pity me, Rom. You know I hate that shit.""I don't, my love. I don't pity you at all."
You'd cried quite a bit, and she'd just watched quietly and wiped your tears as they came. She understood, and she voiced that she thinks she would also do the same – the lying, the escapism, the misunderstandings. She apologized, saying she was sorry that she ever made you feel like you couldn't confide in her – smiling slightly when you said that she was never the problem, it was knowing that you'd be admitting to failure. She understood that, too.
The apartment felt more homey after that – Saerom took the time to go out and buy a few things she thought you'd like – a few constellation posters, a Lego set for you to build together of the Milky Way. She built the astronaut and NASA shuttle herself, placing those in your room when you texted her a few days after she bought them saying you'd had a rough day. She heard you crying in your room, only entering to comfort you when she heard you call her name.
These weeks were also particularly difficult because you'd seen less and less of Joshua. You never considered yourself the clingy type, and the Beta Tau brothers were definitely becoming more familiar with you as the days passed. You saw Joshua outside of class maybe twice, and it was once during office hours and once by going to the house to check on Chan right after Joshua admitted his feelings for you. He'd gotten a lot better, but you'd picked up his assignments from classes you didn't share so he wouldn't fall behind. He'd asked you what was going on between you and Joshua, and you just shrugged.
"We're taking it slow."
"Please don't fuck while I'm still sick, I don't want to hear it."
You and Joshua seemed to have no plans of doing so, it seems. Your schedules did not line up, and you could see him become slightly more stressed every time you saw him. Your classmates noticed something different about him, and you and Haerim just giggled in the back when he'd steal a glance at you. She never said anything to anyone, either.
Once school let out for the winter break (and you disappointedly passed Spanish with a B minus), you did everything in your power to avoid going home. You told your parents any lie you could grapple at – Saerom was sick, you were sick and didn't want to get them sick.
The truth? You just wanted to ring in the New Year with your…boyfriend? You didn't know what the two of you were, and you weren't afraid to admit that to yourself. He was graduating soon, and possibly taking a gap year before continuing his studies. You knew this much through texts – the one thing the two of you did have time for. He sent you voice notes on his way to anywhere, he'd send you pictures of the night sky before going to bed – asking if you could point out any constellations for him.
Message From: Shua <3 [11:32pm] Are you home? [11:33pm] Before you answer this, is Saerom home? I don't feel like explaining myself, I just want to lay the fuck down.
You snort at his message, giggling to yourself at his new contact name. You don't know if you'll ever get used to it.
Message To: Shua <3 [11:33pm] Saerom went home for the break. Something about introducing Jun to her mom.
His reply is almost instant. Message From: Shua <3 [11:34pm] Open the door, I'm freezing.
From your seat on the couch, you hear Joshua groan behind the door and you laugh. Tossing your phone to the side, you quickly get up and unlock the door. You see a pouty Joshua holding a bag of takeout, eyelashes lightly coated in snow as he enters the apartment. "You hate me." He whines, and you snort.
"I can make you go back out in the cold, if you'd like." You shrug, making him scoff as you carefully unravel his scarf. He closes his eyes as you take his jacket, and yank his beanie off his head with no care. "When do I get my kiss? I haven't seen you since finals, I deserve a kiss."
"It's like, twenty minutes until your birthday. You can't wait?" You roll your eyes, feeling a ball of fabric hit your back. You look down to see his pink glove on the floor, making you scoff out a laugh. "Now you're definitely not getting a kiss." "Oh my Goooood, you hate me!" He pouts, grabbing your arm and pulling you close to him. You shake your head, gently nuzzling your nose to his cold one. "Not one bit." You still hadn't told Joshua you loved him. Granted, the two of you were not dating and hadn't properly seen each other in literal ages – as much as 'ages' can be for two idiots in love.
"Why are you dressed like this? And why have I never been here before? This place is cool." He looks around, spotting the astronomy figurines Saerom had started getting for you, the walls covered in photos of you together and he spots the photo of you and your parents gathering dust on one of the shelves. He doesn't mention it.
"Dressed like what? My pajamas?" You look down, and he tugs at the seam of your shorts. "Rather…provocative." "Shut the fuck up, it's almost bed time." You roll your eyes, swatting his hand away from the bare skin of your thighs. He smiles amusedly, planting a soft kiss to the tip of your nose, before peppering them all over your face. His lips meet yours lightly, a chaste taste of his strawberry lip balm lingering on your plush lips as he pulls away.
"The bag is just mochi. I already had dinner." He says sheepishly, and you shrug. "I did, too. To be honest, I wasn't expecting company." "I didn't think you'd stayed on campus." He nods, and you sigh with a sad smile. "Don't wanna see my parents." "Right. How's that going?" He asks, pulling you to the couch with one hand. You let him lay down, pulling you on top of him. Your knees hug his hips as you straddle him, his hands resting high on your thighs. "It's…going. I should call them, but I really don't want to–" You hear the doorknob wiggle, tensing in Joshua's hold as you turn. The lock turns, and your muttered whisper of fuck makes all the alarms in Joshua's mind go off. You climb off of him as the door is pushed open, and you can feel your skin heat in embarrassment as your mother scoffs, stepping into the apartment. Joshua carefully slides off the couch, stepping next to you.
"Jesus, she keeps this place a mess." She groans, looking at the bag of takeout on your dinner table. She hasn't seen you yet, placing her giant designer bag on a chair as your father comes in behind her. "All you do is judge the girl, no wonder she doesn't want to come home." He rolls his eyes, but they land on you – standing with beet red cheeks and an equally embarrassed Joshua by your side. Your father's eyes dart to the link between you – Joshua's hand gingerly interlocking your fingers. You don't speak, and he looks at Joshua's eyes filled with slight worry.
"Can you go get her? She's probably holed up in her room, looking at those stupid mo– Who the fuck are you?" Your mother has turned now, her narrowed eyes on Joshua before landing on you. "Who the fuck is that? You said you were sick, and you have company over?" Your throat is dry, and you feel frozen when Joshua steps in front of you, shielding you from your parents' view. "You must be Y/N's parents. I've heard a lot about you, I'm Joshua."
He extends his hand, and your father eyes it before taking it, shaking it firmly. "Nice grip you got there, son." Your mother scoffs, tugging her scarf off her neck with a visceral anger. Joshua can feel you cower behind him, your fingers gripping onto the back of his shirt. "Joshua what? What do you do for a living?" He clears his throat, watching as your mother walks around the apartment without taking her shoes off, taking down stuff from the walls. "Joshua Hong. I'm a producer." He lies through his teeth, and your mother scowls as she sees the Lego version of the Milky Way hung right by your bathroom. She takes it down, tossing it carelessly on the couch.
"A producer? You won't make much money."
"That's enough." Your father speaks up, and sees you peer at him from behind Joshua. "What are you to Y/N? Boyfriend?" "Not allowed!" Your mother announces, her hands now occupied by your opened mail. Bills, bills, a credit card statement, bills…and your summer internship at the Korea Astronomy and Space Institute.
"I am…her boyfriend." Joshua whispers, losing a bit of confidence as your mother angrily walks back to your foyer. "What's this?" She holds the acceptance letter up, your eyes shutting closed as you see it in her hand. "Fuck." You murmur behind Joshua, and your mother begins to read it aloud.
"Esteemed Miss Kang, it is with great pride that we award you with the July KASI internship studying plasma physics." She crumples the paper slightly in her fist, and your father pries it from her hold as you step out from behind Joshua, and she really lays it on you.
"We told you from the start that these silly little dreams about space and stars were not going to happen. You are the sole heir to the companies, the properties, you have to continue the family business. Don't you care about that? Don't you care about paying us back for everything we've given you, and continue to supply you with? Don't you get that this is not an option?" She's not yelling, but her words cut deep as you nod slowly, the words tumbling out before you can stop to think about them properly. "I don't care." Your mother looks taken aback, and you feel your stomach flip as you clear your throat. "I don't care about properties, or companies. I don't care about money, or marrying for wealth. I…" You breathe in shakily, and Joshua instinctively puts his hands on your shoulders, an act not unseen by your mother's beady eyes.
"I don't care about being part of a family that is fueled by greed. I can't do it anymore. I hope that…you find another fit." The last part comes out as a bit of a sob, and you cover your mouth quickly. Your mother is fuming, and she turns to your father, who is silently reading the letter in his hands.
"I didn't know you liked plasma physics." He murmurs, and you feel Joshua's fingers squeeze your shoulders lightly. "I didn't even know what you were studying, if I'm being honest." Your father admits sheepishly, smoothing the crumpled edge of the sheet carefully.
"This is a very hard program to get into. I would know," Your father holds the letter out to you, and you reach to take it, holding the corner gingerly in your fingers. "You would know?" Joshua echoes, and your father nods.
"I applied. I got the June internship for aerospace engineering, my best friend was so jealous." You don't know the last time you saw your father smile. "I'm…proud of you. I know it's a little late in saying that, I've been quite the absent father.I guess, I can't even really say father."
Your mother is tapping her foot, garnering your attention again. "Whatever rebel strike you're on isn't cute, Y/N. I've got investors waiting to meet you, wanting to draw up contracts, to build new properties with your name across the front." Your father sighs, shaking his head as he looks at the two of you again. "Joshua, could you give us a moment?"
You turn to look at him, your eyes pleading him not to leave. He gives you a sorry smile, squeezing your shoulders before kissing your hairline. "I'll be in your room." He murmurs, and you nod, watching as he walks away, slipping into the only open door in the hallway. He shuts it behind him.
Your father sighs, leaning against the door frame. "Your mother and I are getting a divorce."
You can feel your eyes widen as far as they go, your mother flushing furiously. "Can I ask why?" "It's none of your business." She grits, and your father scoffs. "I'm selling the company. I'm tired, Y/N. Being in business is not what I want to do." He shakes his head, and you try to bite back a smile.
"It's not?"
"No. I'm donating the money to the Aerospace Engineering program here, actually." He gestures around you, indicating the University. You feel your lips tug into a smile, your father's warm eyes matching yours. "I don't understand why you can't just leave the company in Y/N's name so she can take over when we're both dead and gone. At least it sets up a stable future for her!" "She won't be happy, Bora! That's why I can't do that. Nothing in this life means anything if we're not happy." He groans frustratedly, and you feel almost taken aback by your father's words. He'd always been a silent man – a bit cold, with two friends and love for one thing: baseball.
And space, you now know.
"This is fucking ridiculous. I cannot leave my investors hanging, and I refuse to hand over my properties to someone I don't even know!" Your mother is exasperated, and you almost want to laugh at how you and your father shrug simultaneously.
"Whatever." She grumbles, snatching her purse off the chair, pulling it over her shoulder. She gives you a nasty look, "I assume this means you will also bail on meeting the Mins' youngest son? Yoongi has been waiting to meet you."
"Yoongi can shove it." You shrug, and she just shakes her head in disappointment – but for once…you don't care. She slams out of your apartment, her scarf flung over the back of your couch. Your father gives you a gentle smile, and you return it.
"I'm sorry for not being a better father to you, Y/N. I should have tried harder." He laments, and you see his eyes begin to gloss over with tears. You step forward, enveloping him in a loose hug. "I think…standing up for me and what you believe in, is a step in the right direction. I haven't been a very present daughter, either."
He laughs shakily, giving you a tight squeeze. "How about you and I get dinner in the next few days? You can even bring Joshua, I kind of like that kid." He mumbles, and you feel your stomach flutter at the mention of your…boyfriend's name. "I'll check our calendars and shoot you a text, okay?" "For sure, kid." He pulls away, softly patting your head. "I'll see you, okay?" "Yeah. See you." You nod, opening the door for him. He leaves with another word, your mother's scarf in his hand as he exits your apartment. You feel a wave of relief wash over you, but bite back your tears as you lock the door and march to your bedroom. Opening the door, you see Joshua flopped diagonally across your bed, phone in his hand.
It's twenty minutes past midnight, and the date reads December 30th.
"Hey, you." He looks over his shoulder, and watches as you pin the acceptance letter to the corkboard above your dresser. You put your hands on your hips, staring at it with a bit more content in your heart.
"Hey, boyfriend." You say, turning to face him. His ears turn pink, and he sits up. "It just came out, okay? I'm sorry, I know I haven't even taken you out to dinner or anything but I really, really–" You crash your lips to his, pushing him back onto your bed as you straddle him. "Yeah, yeah. No need for explanations." You peel your shirt off, tossing it to the side as he looks at you with wide eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Happy birthday, lover."
Saturday, May 6th.
"Joshua Hong."
You cheer loudly from the stands as he crosses the stage, watching his cheeks tinge pink as he hears you over the clapping and yelling from his fraternity. He smiles as the photographer takes his picture, before looking up at the stands to find you. You wave excitedly, and his eyes brighten all the more. I love you, he mouths.
I'm proud of you, you mouth back. Wimp.
– ☆ –
"Hey, gorgeous. You a tourist?" You're standing at the bar of the same salsa club you and Joshua danced at last summer when you hear Joshua's voice behind you, and you struggle not to roll your eyes. The two of you only stayed at the graduation long enough to watch Jeonghan cross the stage, before Cheol texted the group and said he was sneaking out.
The three of them had booked a last-minute trip…back to Puerto Vallarta.
"The city where you fell in love!" Cheol teased as the group loaded into the car, with you sitting on Joshua's lap in the backseat. Saerom was sitting next to you, and Junhui was giggling at the redness of your cheeks as the pair of douchebags teased you to no end. It didn't matter though – you felt Joshua smile into your shoulder as the group pulled into the airport.
"Yeah, I am. Are you?" You played his game, waiting until he finally came into your line of vision with the same baby blue guayabera you first saw him in. Your stomach flutters lightly as his hand ghosts your back. "Nah, I've been here before. Got my heart broken by a cute thing, she looked a little like you." "Alright, that's enough roleplay you weirdo." You scoff, shoving his hand away from you as he laughed, He stepped slightly closer, ignoring your faux annoyance. "Right, right…I know some cool places here, if you'd care to join me." His eyes twinkle something mischievous as the bartender slides you your drink. You take it with a thank you, before sighing and linking your arm with Joshua's. "Do you, now?" "I do. There's some pretty hammocks down the beach, you can see all the stars right now." He glances up at the sky as the two of you leave the club, your shoes clutched in his hand as your toes sink into the warm sand. You smile up at him, "What do you know about stars?" "Someone very special once told me a story about two lovers who couldn't be…and they reside in these very stars." He points at the sky, and you nod. "You know, I once heard a story like that, but they were involved in Greek mythology." You stare up at the sky, when you reach the hammock the two of you shared that first night.
"Really? Was it about Orpheus and Eurydice? I love that one." He smiles as he helps you on, fixing the skirt of your dress to cover your legs more. "Your star-crossed lovers, were they Altair and Vega?"
"So you do know stars." He slides in, and you rest your head on his chest. "I do. Love them, actually." "You're my brightest star." He murmurs, kissing your forehead lightly as his hand maps out the Lyra constellation. "It's so pretty, isn't it?" Looking back down at you, he sees the gloss over your eyes and sits up. "Babe! Don't cry, oh my God–" "I love you." You blurt, watching as his brows raise, his ears tinging pink in the low light of the moon. He lays back down slowly, and you scrunch your face before sitting up and looking down at him. "Hello? Big moment here, asswipe?" "Just a second." He smiles painfully, and your brows only furrow more. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I'm hard." He whispers, making you glance down. "Don't look at it! What's wrong with you!" He pouts as you burst into laughter, your hand resting on his stomach as you muffle your laughter with his shoulder. "It's not funny."
"You're such a LOSER!"
Pulling back, you wipe at your eyes, catching your breath.
"But you love me too, right?" You ask, peering down at him as he rolls his eyes, smiling widely. He brings you closer to him, his lips ghosting over yours as he speaks softly.
"I love you so much, I'd bring down the stars if you asked me to."
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#seventeenTAcollab#joshua x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#joshua imagines#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#joshua x you#svt x you#seventeen x you#joshua scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#joshua fluff#joshua angst#svt fluff#svt angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#joshua fanfic#svt fanfic#seventeen fanfic#joshua hong#kvanity
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fight the alchemy (s.s)
Plot | After a tumultuous year, Sebastian’s life was finally okay – passable, up-to-scratch, satisfactory. And he had just almost reached peace – when his brilliant, painfully observant, carelessly crude genius of a friend, Garreth Weasley, started pointing out unnecessary facts that could rip all that harmony to shreds.
or, Garreth asks why Sebastian isn’t dating you. Sebastian spirals.
Tags | fluff, sebastian is a thought daughter, low self esteem, seb is a playboy BUT NOT REALLY, horny thots but we keep it pg, insecurity so deep you try to fight cupid, cupid fights back
An Ashwinder’s wand to his neck and Sebastian could honestly and truly say that he was … alright.
Life wasn’t perfect, by any means. His uncle was murdered dead, an estranged twin sister in Paris who refuses to answer his letters, a mistrustful Ominis that breathes on his neck, and a tattered companionship that was barely hanging on by a thread.
But he was okay.
Thankfully, Solomon was still dead, Anne was still alive, and still cranky Ominis is now open to reconciliation. Plus, if all else had fallen, he at least managed to save your cherished friendship thanks to your forgiving nature.
Thus, as thanks to the people who had not yet given up on him, he had sworn to live the rest of his academic life as a meek, unassuming, law-abiding student of Hogwarts.
And he did such a good job at it.
The professors are now impressed at his steadily increasing grades (so much so that the Ravenclaws are now finally seeing him as a threat again) and he even managed to make Imelda’s team as her beater to keep him occupied.
The latter, however, had a grating consequence – he had become popular.
It was thrilling, at first, he went on dates to make up for the years he had lost, kissed the pretty girls because it felt like he should (as one of the few bastards lucky enough to live every raging teenager’s dream), and accepted the slaps on the face politely when they inevitably broke up.
But now he’s just gotten tired and bored of it all.
Ominis says it’s a genius’ folly, to always find a fault in something and then drop it when it doesn’t quite meet his standard of perfect. Leander says he’s just a bastard.
He cups his face with his hand, wincing. Her fucking ring caught on his skin and he can’t be arsed to suffer through the bitterness of a Wiggenweld Potion for a mere scratch.
Garreth doesn’t bother to swallow his bread before saying, “Really, mate? I thought you liked this one?”
“Liked her rack, more likely,” Andrew quipped from his seat on the stone steps of the boathouse.
Sebastian threw his scarf on his face, satisfied at his squawk.
“No talking about my ex-girlfriends,” he warned. It was one of his few rules when it came to his male friends. He may be a bastard but as someone with a sister and a couple of good female friendships, he makes it a point to never become one of those losers who talk badly about women they have a history with. Just so he can have a moral high ground when he beats up anyone who might do it to his friends.
“All right, all right,” Andrew raised his hands in playful surrender, throwing Sebastian’s scarf back to him. “But as your friend, I think it’s about time you stop swapping out girls every time you get bored of them.”
“I don’t swap them out,” he rolls his eyes. “Breakups are normal.”
“Breakups are normal,” Garreth points out. “Six breakups in 2 years is an issue.”
“Maybe I’m just meant for the bachelor life,” he mumbles, ignoring the pointed accusation from Garreth. Fucking perceptive prick. “Not everyone gets to meet their soulmate in Hogwarts, asshole.”
Garreth grins, “Natty’s great, isn’t she?”
Sebastian and Andrew both throw their scarves at him, the three of them bursting out in laughter and boos.
“To the Three Broomsticks, then?” Andrew stood up, patting his pants.
As 7th years it was nearly impossible to take a breather with the looming threat of exams that will dictate the rest of your life and the inescapable trap of adulthood that awaits them in a couple of months. So, his friends had made it a point to at least go out once every week whenever they could, really take advantage of their last year as students where they had no other responsibility but to survive the week.
In a year’s time, seeing each other as often as they do will be nothing short of a miracle.
“Leander and Everett are already there, saved up a table since it’s a Friday, it’s gonna be packed full,” Andrew explains.
Sebastian looks around, eyes scanning the castle in the setting sun. “You go on ahead I’m waiting for –”
“Sebastian!”
A flash of movement appeared rushing down the stairs towards the boathouse, your face beaming as you waved to the three of them. When you were a foot away from him you jumped into his arms, shrieking energetically when he grabbed your waist and lifted you above his head.
“Sorry, I’m late,” you pant, smiling at your friends once you’re back on the ground. “Professor Hecate asked me to stay back for a minute, something about revisions on my research.”
“I can’t believe you got permission to research in The Restricted Section after the crazy nonsense you pulled in 5th year,” Garreth shook his head. Sebastian wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side, beaming in pride. Nobody knows but the two of you that the very thing you were researching were the technicalities of how you broke Anne’s curse so it could be taught to the nurses in St. Mungos and hopefully spread to the rest of wizardkind.
“It’s exactly because I had the nerve to break the rules that I was given the honorable opportunity,” you dramatically curtsied. “And they said Gryffindors were the brave ones.”
That made Sebastian laugh. Garreth blinks, eyes squinting at him for a second but he doesn’t look offended, more … focused on Sebastian.
“Alright, no more of that House Rivalry. Quidditch Season is over,” Andrew quips.
“Wiped your asses there too, Larson,” he quipped, Andrew’s jaw drops, looking at Garreth for help and receiving none. He was still staring at Sebastian, eyes shifting between him and you.
Andrew groans. “Slytherins are assholes.”
Slytherins are, apparently, also light-weights.
Well, at least one of them is.
He adjusts his hold on your body as the other hand wraps his coat around your body properly. After your last ‘improved’ butterbeer you had slumped into his lap, rudely snoozing off on the crook of his neck and refusing to wake up even when it was time for your group to leave – not that he would’ve allowed that to happen, with your demanding research it was a miracle to get you to sleep let alone let loose.
The rest of the group had gone in first to scope the scenery and bribe the patrolling Head students with leftover chips while he and Garreth were stuck carrying you and an unconscious Amit that they had managed to catch last-minute in Hogsmeade. Poor bastard.
“I was thinking –”
“Please don’t,” he groans.
“Why have you two never dated?”
Sebastian stops his fussing, barely able to use his head to ensure he keeps walking, and continue to Act Normal, now using both of his hands to hold you tighter.
“You’re drunk,” he deflects. The puffs of your breath warm his entire body.
“Because! When I think about it …”
Please, for the love of the great Merlin stop thinking.
“You’ve been inseparable from the start! I can’t believe it’s escaped my notice you’ve never dated. You say your past relationships got boring and got annoying but you’ve never been bored and annoyed with her and you’ve been friends for years!”
Bored with you? He’s had more near-fatal heart attacks because of you than breakups. Sebastian barely had the time to be bored. And sometimes you do get at each other’s throats but it was always fixed after a proper conversation. If his killing his uncle couldn’t turn you away then he doubts anything you do could ever turn him away.
“Plus, with all the respect and love to my beautiful darling Natty, she’s a fucking catch, mate!”
If Garreth wasn’t carrying a sinless half-dead Amit, Sebastian would’ve punched him in his mouth just to stop him from talking.
“I’m just saying,” Garreth walks ahead of him, clearly aware of the fuse he had just lit. Sebastian was tempted to kick the back of his knees just for the satisfaction of seeing him fall. “Maybe you can join the club and find your soulmate in Hogwarts.”
Garreth winks.
“We’re still accepting members.”
He’s decided.
He needs to kill Garreth.
He has not been able to sleep properly for the past week and it’s all because of that ginger prick and his needless remarks.
“Why have you two never dated?”
Sebastian’s pencil cracks in his hand.
“Is he alright?” he hears an underclassman whisper on the other table. He glances at them and they flinch. Quickly, he softens his expression ("You really need to stop scowling at people, Sebastian."), unaware he had glared at them and sent a wary smile in apology. It would just be unfair to aim his ire at innocent people when he could just use it to rip out every strand of Weasley’s hair.
“He’s been staring at that page for an hour. Maybe we should call –”
He stands up, escaping.
Sebastian never realized just how much he spent his time with you until people were looking at him funny when he was walking or sitting alone in public places. At first, he thought there had been crumbs on his face or one of his asshole friends stuck a note on his back like a kid. Plus, he hadn’t been feeling his best since that night but he thought it had been the lack of sleep.
It wasn’t until he had met Imelda on the grounds that he found his answer:
“Where’s the rest of you?”
He blinked at his captain, “I’m sorry?”
She shook her head. “Man, it feels weird seeing you alone. Did you guys have a fight? You’re usually shadowing her like a puppy after class.”
Then everything clicks, the strange looks, the feeling of missing something (like a forgotten important homework after he had reached the top of the Astronomy Tower) – it’s been a side effect of avoiding you.
Okay, it’s not that he’s avoiding you per se. He just needs space. He needs to think and he finds that can’t do that once he feels your eyes on him. With his luck, you’re going to see right through him and that would just be unideal if not a fucking catastrophe.
That’s why he’s taken it upon himself to stay off your way until he puts his thoughts in a row and finally screws his head on straight again. Or he could just kill Garreth, get sent straight to Azakaban, and avoid confronting these complicated thoughts altogether.
“I can’t believe it’s escaped my notice you’ve never dated!”
He sits on a bench, hands on his head as he let out a prolonged groan, “The fucking bastard.”
Why did he have to point it out? Why did Garreth have to bring what he, upon reflection, had buried on the back of his head, just waiting for that one little flick of acknowledgment before it blew his brains out.
Because Sebastian is a lot of things but he’s not a fucking moron.
It’s not that the thought of being together is unpleasant. If he lets himself consider it his chest feels like it would escape his ribcage both in excitement and utter terror.
But Garreth was right: he’d never thought about it before – hadn’t thought the idea was conceivable in this reality.
He has a feeling it was his way of preserving whatever pure relationship he had left. He’s not exactly rich with true companionship and he’s not idiotic enough to risk it all over a bloody crush.
And not just any crush – his best friend, the person who saved his life and then helped him rebuild it when he was finished smashing it to pieces. The one who never turned her back even when his blood had given up. The girl who has a line of eligible bachelors following her on their knees for a single chance, ones who could offer her more than he ever could – ones who could offer her the world.
So, yeah – forgive him, but he’s never really allowed himself to entertain the idea of them dating. Sebastian has tested his luck enough.
Unless the roles switch and he gets to save the wizarding world this time then maybe … yeah, maybe -- maybe in another fucking life.
The thought makes him stand up, walking straight out of the campus to hopefully drown the sorrows of the depressing state of his love life with the best fire whiskey Hogshead could offer. How does he even move on from this? How does he make peace with the fact that he has sealed his fate of living the rest of his life alone?
It’s impossible, he’s decided. Even if he graduates at the top of the classes he is taking and gets accepted into the Auror Programme that Sharp had recommended him for, their social standing is still heavens apart. He’s an orphan, with a husk of an extended family and no money to his name.
It wouldn’t matter to you, never really cared for pure bloodlines or lineages and he knows anyone who brings that up when they’re courting you will receive the most disgusted look on your face.
But he cares – you are the most special person in his life. He wants the best for you. And the best is not something he can provide.
His depressing thoughts halt as his steps falter, a familiar scent tickling his nose. A familiar scent that leads straight into the Forbidden Forest. When he looks up to the sky, he realizes the sun has almost finished setting.
She can’t be that reckless, right?
He was barely surprised when he chanted the incantation that triggered the charm they had both put in their necklaces, the sparkling thread leads straight into the forest. And if he knows you half as well as he thinks he does then he knows exactly where it’s gonna lead to.
There goes his late-night plan.
It isn’t exactly his first jaunt in the forbidden space but it still gives him the creeps especially so close to the night. Why you’re so fond of the place is something he’ll never understand.
But that’s just the way you were, just another part of your quirks that makes you so endearing.
How you throw your head back when you laugh, that you get so cranky when you’re studying that no one dares to approach you but him, even the way you messily eat your favorite chocolate pastry of the week yet never fail to share a piece with him.
With this new revelation, he bitterly accepts the reason for his philandering ways. That he simply is another prick who is coping with not being able to attain the love of his life at the expense of those poor girls.
His self-condemnation however was cut short when he heard the waterfall, not being able to help the smirk on his face when he turned the corner and found you just as he had expected: in the middle of the clear, dark, water, floating carelessly on your back.
Gods, you are a beauty. He’s always thought so, the entire male population in Hogwarts thought so too. If they somehow get to break through your walls and manage to get to know you, he might just have to beat them away with an actual stick.
“Sebastian,” you smile, his heart stops. “I knew you’d find me.”
You swim to him gracefully, barely disturbing the water with only your eyes above the water but there was no hiding the grin in your face. Like a pitiful sailor seduced by a siren, his feet dragged him to the edge, a short ledge above from where you were looking up at him.
“You left your scent on purpose,” he states, kneeling to get a closer look at you. What a beauty – mischievous, cunning, irresistible. He’s never loved anyone more. “Naughty, naughty, darling.”
She pulls herself up the ledge, their faces inches away from each other. He nails his eyes to yours so they wouldn’t be tempted to look down at your soaking figure cloaked only by a thin chemise “I had to get you somehow, knew you couldn’t resist a damsel in distress.”
“Funny,” he softly glares, chuckling when she preens, clearly satisfied that her plan worked perfectly. “With all the water in the Black Lake, you had to pick the Forbidden Forest to swim in.”
You dip yourself back down in the water, swimming away but still facing him. “Come, Sebastian. I’ve been bored all week since you’ve been avoiding me.”
Guilt runs through his spine at the sudden coldness in your offhanded comment. Clearly, his absence hasn’t escaped your notice as he had hoped.
Like a scolded pup, he follows your command to a T. Eyes never leaving your floating figure as he removed his coat, folding it neatly along with the rest of his clothes until he was left in his underclothes.
He winces at the touch of the freezing water. A heating charm would do wonders but the way your unsympathetic eyes never left his figure gave him a feeling that this was a punishment he was meant to endure.
He steels himself, diving into the water and only resurfacing when he is right in front of you. “You called?”
“You’re so fucking full of yourself,” you splash the cold water at him, shrieking when he reaches out for your arms and barely managing to slip away.
He dives again, grinning at your confused flounder, until you realize your mistake, looking down just as he catches your waist, your surprised shriek, and his unrestrained laughter breaks through the quiet of the forest.
“You done running now, pet?” he locks his hands on your back, pushing you close until he is carrying both your weight in the water, chin resting on your chest as your hands run through his soaking hair.
Your darkened hair frames your face, like a sheer curtain it drops, teasing his cheeks, and hiding your conversation from the rest of the forest – in the dimness, your eyes have never been more radiant, even if it was clearly pissed at him.
Skinship wasn’t foreign between the two of you. When you’ve saved each other’s lives from certain death more times than you care to count, cuddling is the least of your worries.
But there is something about the forest's silence, the sparse moonlight that peaks through the dense trees, the sound of the droplets falling from your hair to the water, and the distant echoes of the animals that make everything intimate. -- more intimate than usual.
“Are you?” you throw his question back at him mercilessly, your hands on the back of his neck, locking his face to look up at you – finally at you. The weeklong separation had been torture and now that the distance had cut his regular contact with his favorite witch, he finally realized how fast his heart was beating when he was around her.
He smiles.
He was satisfied, he swore he was.
Sebastian’s life was finally okay – passable, up-to-scratch, satisfactory. He shouldn’t strive for more, couldn’t allow himself that luxury – the luxury of love, the luxury of you.
But as he stares at your eyes, as he feels the ice in your skin, as he imagines a future where it wasn't him that gets to bite the plump of your lips – that dirty, greedy part of him crawls out of the hole he had shoved it in.
He feels it win.
“Are you done running now?” you whisper, a droplet falls from the tip of your nose to the space just below his eyes, his breath hitches, like your magnetic presence had sucked out all the air of the forest.
“I wasn’t running,” she raises a brow, and Sebastian presses his lips to your ears. “I was thinking.”
“And?”
Leander was right: he really is a bastard.
But he’s a bastard who will no longer wait for another life to love you. He's a bastard who will get what he wants.
“I think,” he whispers, at peace. “I think I’m gonna marry you someday.”
#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x reader#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hogwarts legacy sebastian#hogwarts legacy fanfiction
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[INAMORATA] SNIPPET . *࿐ SUNDAY, MOZE, SOMEWHAT JIAOQIU??
more jiaoqiu and moze being a little creep, male incubus reader
HONKAI STAR RAIL MASTERLIST
MASTERLIST ・゜・NAVIGATION
Of course you don’t end up stealing a kiss outside the building—Moze taking the opportunity to clean the bathroom obsessively while buzzing from the liquor, while you walk Jiaoqiu out.
Of course you don’t mean to, but you’re drunkenly complaining of the professor for your statistics module, and he’s merely gazing. When the sun’s long gone to its slumber—and the only light available is the halo around your head from the flickering streetlamp—who can blame him for the way his eyes drink your pout in, the way he’s getting lost in the way you smell? Menthol cigarettes and something sweeter, something his nose picks up that could be caramel but could also thrum deep in your veins to intoxicate others.
He cuts you off when it gets too much for him, right when you push your glasses up to continue to ramble comfortably.
“—every lecture, I swear—mmph—”
You swear up-and-down you weren’t planning this; you’re taken completely aback as he surges, pressing you up against the rough brick of the building. He’s warm, you think deliriously—with his hand cradling your cheek and his other nestled in the back of the loose pullover you’re wearing, you’re warmer than you’ve been in weeks.
It’s not desperate, but you can feel the build-up of emotion behind it: taste the cherry on your breath, the tequila on his. Alcohol may have prompted this, but even a fool could savour the heavy yearning on his tongue.
“Jiaoqiu,” you mumble, but he merely tilts your head, nipping at your slicked lips with an eagerness he only seems to display when it’s the witching hours. He’s shorter than you, yet tonight he’s the one caging you in an inescapable lock—so hungry, so avaricious and naturally, you oblige, raking your hands in his pink hair.
You taste blood. You taste life as you feel his steady pulse against your body, lust as he groans and melts into your touch, desperation as he entwines his arms around you with the sole goal of pressing himself into you even further.
You are equally insatiable, gradually feeling the vivid colours flow from his tongue onto your own.
You are equally gluttonous, but your work isn’t going to finish itself and you’re quite a good demon, if you do say so yourself.
You are equally voracious, and perhaps completely degenerate, yet still you wistfully and regretfully ease your lips from his—though your hands remain white-hot on his body.
It’s enough energy to get through the rest of this day and then some. It’ll do. It has to do.
“I’ll see you at the Film Festival,” he murmurs, but the two of you know the encounter between you both will be sooner—a clandestine encounter between sheets, in fact.
He’s walking home, so you watch him disappear into the night—and when his small figure is swallowed up in the void space between street lamps, you watch a little while longer.
Unbeknownst to you, someone else has been watching this entire time too.
#slowd1ving#res ・゚ writing#x reader#honkai star rail#hsr#male reader#hsr x reader#x male reader#res ・゚ snippet#honkai star rail moze#honkai star rail sunday#honkai star rail jiaoqiu#moze x reader#moze x male reader#sunday x male reader#sunday x reader#hsr x male reader#hsr smut#sub hsr#jiaoqiu x reader#jiaoqiu x male reader#fantasy au#but also modern#university au#halloween#it's october yk what that means#something freaky...#freaktober
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A better one
I'm here for you part 2 NMIXX Seol-Yoona x Male Reader 7k words
It's been months since I've written again and I had this perfect month to finish this. Sorry for the hiatus T-T
Everything felt like a dream, an inescapable thought, one that would be hard to forget. You cleaned as you shut the door, sweeped a few crumbs with a small pink towel. After placing the last washed dish on the tray, your phone vibrated, a notification popping up as the screen lit, then looking at it was your girlfriend’s message, apologizing for not visiting tonight. Your frustration seemed to lessen down, but it was still there. You decided not to reply and went straight to your room, laying down on the bed. Wonyoung’s kiss felt like it would change it all. The amount of thoughts consumed your mind, and you slowly drifted to sleep.
You woke up feeling refreshed, blanket almost covering you up like a pharaoh mummy buried for millennia. Headache, you feared having it every time you slept stressed. You stood up and there was none, luckily. The clock showed 8:30; 15 mins before your Science class, and it made you pack your things right away, then rush upstairs to grab your towel to shower.
Afterwards, you decided to walk your way to school.
The sun’s heat didn’t bother you, the sunlight did. Leaves scattered on the ground moved by the wind’s direction. People walked on the opposite side, but you took the other way for the trees that would cover you from the rays.
At school, you saw red bandanas hanging on the entrance gate, then to the main corridor, with the school’s name spelled on giant letter stickers with red borders in each. Students stood left and right, having interactions, some had their own task for their school though the council don’t even seem to appreciate it .
You entered the classroom and sat beside Jun, and he gave you a wink. The professor was at his table with a book in his hand and a ballpen tucked between his index finger and middle. A presentation slide was displayed on the TV; talking about what and how’s on Tsunamis.
After the lunch bell rang, your classmates quickly headed outside. You waited for your friends by the entrance door. Others carried lunchboxes, while Jun normally had a wallet in his hand. Along the way you asked him about the situation around, and he called you dumb for being clueless about the inter-school sports competition. Arriving, you saw the canteen crowded. Your friend spotted an empty table at the corner of most of the place with trays and empty chip bags over it. Two tables away from the right sat ladies in white sports jackets, red curves and black stripes in sleeves. One of them looked familiar.
“Watch your eyes, you wouldn’t want to argue with your girlfriend in this place.” Minho places his lunchbox, opens it, then brings out utensils from the bag.
“Not really, I’m just wondering what school they are from.”
“Yonsei, don’t you know?”
You looked at him quickly. Did you hear it right? You thought that you’ve misheard it, but right as he repeated his answer, you’ve been reassured. They are from Yonsei University; the school where Wonyoung currently studies.
“You alright? Did I say something?”
“No, nothing. I just wondered how we end up fighting against a high class university.” You forced a smile.
“Ask your hot girlfriend. You know, some girls are blessed with such skills. Should be glad about it.”
Your friends arrived together, holding their bought lunches as they placed it on the table. They wore smiles, out of randomness, they might have stumbled upon something. Your circle’s humor is broken. Sometimes you felt that someone in your classroom was annoyed by your group’s humor.
“How was your Christmas fam.” Jun wraps his arm around your shoulder, then takes a spoonful bite of rice on his other hand.
“Sucks.”
“Got sucked or . . “
“No shit for that dirty humor.”
“Just kidding, why the long face though.”
“They must’ve fought,” Minho answered, mouth full. You kept your mouth shut and you knew they would understand, especially Jun.
“So are we guessing the reason for it?” Jun raises a brow.
“She didn’t visit me yesterday. She didn’t even tell me she’s going to drink all night with her friends. I’m not gatekeeping her with all such actions but, isn’t a simple thing to do to update me at least?”
You noticed your friends glanced at each other. Minho paused from taking another spoonful bite of his tonkatsu and placed down his spoon.
“You both talked about it already?” Jun asked.
“I’m not in the mood to talk to her today.”
“Doesn’t give you a reason though to look up at other girls because of that.” Minho interrupted. Jun nudged you hard in the shoulder
“Yah? I know those Yonsei bitches are a bunch of hot daddy’s daughters. But you know we don’t tolerate cheating, right?”
“I’m not someone who’d do such a thing. I love Sullyoon, alright? It’s just that I'm disappointed.”
“The consequences as well. Sullyoon is hella popular around here in the campus, you should know your decisions. Just talk about it, can you both?” Jun placed taps on your back, and you nodded.
“We would.” You sighed. You knew how lucky you were to be in a relationship with Sullyoon, everybody does. Not only because she’s pretty, Sullyoon achieves high in classes and you were inspired to be one as well. Through countless arguments between you and her, it got resolved no matter what, but this time you found it worse.
You snapped off upon the crash sound of a bowl. Minho had accidentally spilled his soup, scattering liquids on the cold floor. Some turned to look at him, and one of them was the Yonsei girls on your right. You made eye contact with one of them, staring for countful seconds, you felt you met her for some time yet you don’t remember. Her hair was curly, eyes almost identical with puppies. She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, then slowly a light smile appeared on her lips.
Your friends watched the woman approach your table. They looked fascinated, then nervous.
“Y/n?”
“Yujin?”
“Gosh, I missed you.” She sat on your right despite the little space, and you were forced to move left. She was close, you didn’t care.
“I missed you too, sunbaenim.”
“Yah, I told you to stop calling me that. Just because I scolded you back when you were noisy as hell does mean you’d make me look already.” Yujin pushed your shoulder. You felt relieved to meet your old friend. She never failed to keep her matured beauty. “I didn’t know you transferred to this . . . school?” Her eyes wandered around the place between words.
“Not everybody is blessed to stay in Yonsei like you.”
She clucked her tongue, pouting. “If only I had enough money to help you return to us, I did already. Bunch of normies around our floor, I hate seeing them.”
“How’s your thing with Junho?” You giggled.
“Ew?
“Keep ewing, some day you’d fall back at him as well.”
“Stinky ass basketball players.”
“So you’re calling me stinky?”
“You play basket?” Jun interrupts in a polite way.
“Yeah, you guys don’t know?” Yujin answers, glancing at you confused. “Your friend never told you he used to break legs at our school?”
“Nah, that’s too much.” You sigh and shake your head.
“Hey? Why not tell shit, huh?” Jun nudged you hard once again. He complained why you had to keep it from them, even Minho. You wanted to be an academic student instead. Being popular used to be your dream goal in a campus, but you failed countless times until the last year of senior high, which is the year where you closed with Yujin and her old friends.
Yujin asked about your participation in the inter school basketball tournament, and the answer was obviously no. Disappointed, but as if she could do anything to change your decision.
“This is Jun, Minho, Lei and Jian.” Each of your friends wave as you introduce their names to Yujin.
“Oh wait, I’ll introduce my friends as well to everyone.” She called her friends on the other table, gesturing to come as the girls glanced at each other, seemingly lazy, but shortly they stood altogether. You felt a little excitement, new friends maybe? But not until you saw one of them familiar faces, making your heart race. You never expected Wonyoung to be with them.
“Shit, they’re attractive.” Jun mumbled. Soon as they stood beside Yujin, you looked back to your front, at Minho.
“So this is Rei.” She gestured her hand to the pink haired girl. “Leeseo.” to the ponytailed woman. “Gaeul.” to the short haired girl sucking the lollipop on her hand. “Liz,” to the long haired girl who seemed to love bangs. “And lastly, Wonyoung.” Her hair was curly, and last night it wasn’t. With specs atop her hair, you still felt her rich vibe with any outfit she wore.
You met her eyes, locking for several seconds before you decided to end it. You can’t see her the same anymore.
“They looked more normies than what we have back in the campus.” Gaeul chuckled.
“Yah? What’s this woman pointing out?” Jun pointed his finger at her, glancing at each of you. “As if the boys in your campus could last in a fist fight, huh?”
“Tryhard bad boys huh?” Liz scoffs.
“Yujin, these are your friends?” You whisper to her, and she giggles, pushing your thigh.
“Well, Minju, Yena, Chaewon and the others transferred schools. We Wonyoung were the only ones left in Yonsei.”
“Never expected you to obtain such a daddy's girl attitude ass type friends.”
Yujin giggled, she knew you hit the spot and she seemed to agree.
***
The beef between your friends and Yujin’s team took a little while, and it stopped until you decided to take Yujin for a treat around the canteen. You never worried about running out of money because you had savings, hidden under the closet, and stupidly getting asked why not put it into the bank instead.
“You and Wonyoung still talk right?” Yujin presses the straw over the shake.
“Of course.” It took you several seconds to answer.
“Why didn't you seem to acknowledge each other awhile ago?”
“Are we supposed to pounce on each other when meeting?”
“Not really, it’s just not normal. Tell me, you fought?”
“Of course, no.”
She presses her shake on your arm and you flinch on how freezing it was.
“Gonna tell me or what? I knew you sucked on making lies and excuses. Come on, we’ve opened up to each other countless times.”
You sighed heavily, and guided her to the wall railing where the other blocks could be seen. You leaned yourselves on the bar, facing each other.
“She kissed me last night.”
Yujin choked suddenly, intentional or not, her expression was valid. She then slowly covered her mouth with her fingers.
“Wony? Why? Like she knows you’re in a relationship right? Is she out of her mind?”
“She knows. She told me she kept her feelings for years.”
“So she was not certain about your platonic friendship?”
“Perhaps. I don’t know, I don’t see her the same anymore. I’m very confused right now. I just want to tuck myself inside somewhere that no one could ever find me anymore.
A sigh escaped her mouth. After then she reached her drink at you, asking you to take a sip. It was random. Despite your rejects she kept insisting and you were left no choice to take one. The shake was sweet, melon in flavor and the bits of crushed ice filled in your tongue.
“I’ve heard that iconic quote from you again.” She grinned and turned to look at the outside view while she combed her hair down with her fingers. “I don’t know, she never opened up to me about it. Though you should talk about it together, but of course not today or here, you might not want your girlfriend to scandalize around the campus.” She glanced at you with a smirk, then shortly her eyes traveled behind you. Her smile slowly dropped. “And there she goes.”
You felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist. It was soft at first, then tightened a little once it had fully wrapped you.
“Hey baby.” You hear that usual voice, sweetness with bitterness. The Jasmine scent of her hair soothed; she’d always have that. “Never thought you could talk to outsiders these days.”
You noticed Yujin's little scoff. Sullyoon’s team came together, the Crows, and they stood behind your girlfriend.
“She’s my old friend from Yonsei, when I used to study there. Her name is Yujin by the way.”
Sullyoon gave her a light smile, and it was enough for you to take that, though you felt it’s a forced one. Yujin gave a light bow in response. You saw Yujin’s team approaching from the distance, walking altogether, their eyes fixed at you and to the Crows. Their faces fearless as they stood behind Yujin, the sense of indirect heat up between the opposing teams. You switched your eyes at your best friend standing behind Liz, and she quickly looked away.
“Come on, it’s time for practice.” Rei started off. Her eyes traveled between Crow’s members, passively yet aggressive. It must be her natural eye shape.
“Yeah, I’m going off anyways.” A light smile forms in Yujin’s lips, keeping eyes at you, then bows lightly. “Nice meeting you once again, Y/n.”
You expected things to go worse, but it turned out not. You’ve known Yujin to act non-passive, she’d always be. Despite her approachable, cool vibe boys would feel comfortable to talk to, she’d be completely opposite. There were reasons, and she told you about it and you felt lucky to get close with someone like her. The Yonsei girls walked away altogether, turning backs at the same time. You knew they’d talk about it when some of them surrounded Yujin.
You didn’t know what to do. Yujin and her friends disappeared on your sight when they steered left. The skies dimmed and became cooler when the sun got covered by the thick clouds left and right. There was a sense of heaviness in your chest that wouldn’t just disappear quickly. Sullyoon kept herself beside you while she nodded at her friends, signaling they could walk away. You were hesitant to face, not because you are scared, but because your emotions are still mixed after last night, and what she had left you in. Then when you managed to gather yourself up to face your girlfriend, her eyes were fixed at you, crossed arms, but in a way she’d let you know she was pissed.
“Let’s not argue for now.” You started calmly.
“You’re deciding things between us now?”
“It’s your game day, I don’t want . . . “
“I don’t care Y/n.” She interrupted. “See, you’ve clearly left me in inbox this morning, then seen last night, and this is what I’m going to see?”
You didn’t answer. It was not the sense of being cornered, but in a way you were holding yourself in with your thoughts and words. In few hours, your girlfriend will play carrying the university’s name, and you don't want to be the reason for her downfall.
“I don’t understand Y/n. Sometimes, you’re just ridiculous. I don’t know what to say anymore.”
You pulled her wrist when she began to walk away, but she shook it off, not bothering to look at you nor give a glance. The struggle to speak, and as you watched her walk out, your feelings got mixed out even more that not even anyone could describe. You kept your composure and watched her follow the team downstairs.
You didn’t know what to do anymore.
Few hours later you returned to the classroom, your friends headed first and you saw them in the back row, a chip bag tucked between Minho’s thighs. They would always reserve an empty seat for you. Throughout the class, you felt dumber, maybe because you were stressed, or the short argument between your girlfriend. Jun noticed your sudden quietness. He asked you in a manner the professor wouldn't notice, whispering, but useless when you shook your head as an answer.
Exactly the start of your girlfriend’s game matched the subject’s wrapping up, and you headed to the gymnasium with your friends, then met three adults outside the entrance door. You’ve thought worse, but it was only a security check, always in every event. Patting each of your clothes, shortly they let you all in. You saw how crowded it was inside, every section almost filled in but there were empty ones around the middle lower area. Red bandanas knotted on each railing ends above, hanging freely as it swayed with the wind Minho found empty seats on the upper right most section. He asked all of you to sit with him and nobody contested. He bragged how he could pick such good spots and you told him how good the spot is sarcastically. The view felt a kilometer away from the court like it was some Taylor Swift concert.
The crowd erupted in cheers. You looked over and saw each team appear from different directions. Your school’s team from the left, and Yonsei on the right, near the fire exit. The fans on the right ride waved their balloons colored in blue. They were the Yonsei, and they never left that color. Your school chose the contradicting color, red, just how much you’ve seen that color fill the whole corridor downstairs.
Few minutes long, the game had started. Each student in their own schools chanted their school’s pride along their aggressive wavings of their balloon. Shouts echoing through walls. It was really like a concert. You looked at your friends to see them busy with their phones, and only stopped when they noticed you. You didn’t really care, it was just confusing why they had to stop.
You could recognize your girlfriend despite the distance from your seat. She is tall, everyone knows that, but you had a certain way of recognizing her: her alluring thighs. Her curvature is just unique, and most of all her pretty face.
She had thrown good serves and spikes throughout the rounds. Shouts from men seemed more audible, maybe the ones beside their benches where they left their things. It was louder when it’s your girlfriend’s play. Mark beside you never focused on the game, showing you some Instagram reels on his phone that he found hilarious. His humor was broken, but then everyone in the circle understood that.
After several rounds, Yonsei students' chants began to fade but the school’s students. On the digital clock, right in the middle of the net pole, your school had an advantage of four points from your old school. You could see how Yonsei pushed more with their style. Liz managed to give a clean set to your best friend, Wonyoung, and managed to spike the ball hard on the school side. A quick high five on Yonsei’s team then got back to their positions right away. After the whistle blew from the referee, a clean rally was made again. Pass there, pass that, throw, and receive, that’s the flow. When Jinsol spiked the ball, the short-haired girl from Yonsei managed to save it. It was Gaeul if you remember. The ball was a float receive, where Yujin took the shot from the utility position and spiked the ball right beside your girlfriend. You saw Sullyoon shake her head and give a quick side-eye to her. It was funny. Sometimes she’d show her arrogant side, but very rarely.
Few rounds both schools were tied in points, and once they made another point, then it’s their win. Sullyoon served and was received by Gaeul. Yujin’s team started aggressive. A minus tempo set from the middle by Liz and spiked by Wonyoung, but was received by Haewon from the back. Jiwoo set the ball to Sullyoon on the outside then gave her a good position to spike, but then it was received by Leeseo. The screams from both schools loudened. Balloons waved aggressively. Some began to chant their team’s name, and your friends were focused on the rally.
As the ball floated on Yonsei’s side, Yujin tried another attack to the opposite side, and Jinsol blocked it, but then was saved by Rei from the left. Given another chance to correct their mistake, Liz sets the ball to Wonyoung. She was open, it was a clear shot for Wonyoung. It felt like the world slowed down and one shot would end the school’s journey to the trophy. The sense of joy was within, it’s your best friend anyways, but it’d be worse to hear the school’s loss.
When she landed a hard slap on the ball, your girlfriend had a lucky timing when she raised both arms sideways at Wonyoung, and as the ball bounced off her arms, it fell down sideways and met Yujin’s court side. Your school’s students erupted in cheers and screams while the Yonsei students died down, but some were still waving their balloons. Your friends cheered. Jun stood up with both arms lifted, and sat down quickly when you and your friends looked at him. Everything was chaotic, the loudness around the court got into you, and it was a sort of memorable experience. A cat walked past when you got outside. Yonsei students made their way towards the shuttle parked outside the large fences. Some wore long faces, some did not, just normal though the bitchiness could be seen. The sun had set down through flat grayish clouds in the distance as if it was peeking at the school.
You cradled the black furry cat. You were bored, still clueless about what just happened back inside.
“So, why alone all of a sudden?” Yujin walked from behind, standing beside you as she caressed the cat.
“Oh, hey.” You smiled, her presence always made you feel relieved. She tilted her head waiting for your answer. “Is it wrong if I Am?”
“It is, and you’re not with your girlfriend right now. Your school won, aren’t you happy with it?” Then she pointed her finger at you, a smirk forming on her lips. “Or you really are, you still support your old school huh?”
“Old school still hits differently.”
“Come on now, support your girlfriend back there.” She nudged your arm. “I’m saving you from your two sided girlfriend. She thought I wouldn’t notice that side-eye she gave me huh.” She giggled and came closer to your ear. “They’re just lucky Gaeul had a fever.” “She had?” “Yeah, but she wanted to play as well. There’s no other better liberos out there than her.” She sighs and looks in the same direction where you are looking. “Well it’s fine, I don’t really care that much. When we first met, I was already playing. I’m tired as fuck I wanna quit, but I wouldn’t want to be replaced by someone stupid as well.” She smiles. “Come on, go inside. We’ll see each other again soon, don't worry.”
You opened your arms, wanting a hug. She faced you with crossed arms and scanned you from toes to your eyes, then grins. She placed her hand between your chest and placed a few taps. It was soft, her hands.
“You want your girlfriend to kill us both? Well I don’t mind, it’s just you that I’m thinking.” She gently pushed you away. “I’ll return that when you visit Yonsei again. It’ll be more than just a hug if you do.”
“Like?”
“Of course it’s a secret boy” Her voice disappointed. “Go to our school then you’ll see.”
You shake your head while she keeps that mocking look at you. It sounded wrong, or it was just you. Being green minded has always been inside anyone’s head, so it’s normal, but perhaps you assumed too much.
***
Back inside, it was messy. Confettis and long red ribbons scattered on the floor, then swept away as you walked through. There were still students around, but most were schoolmates. Yonsei had mostly left together with Yujin’s team. Everything smelled confusing like a group of crowds in the city market.
You stumbled upon Jinsol before you could reach the gym door. She told you Sullyoon was left back inside, probably waiting for you. She never looked mad or disappointed, she never was, and even placed a ‘bro’ tap on your back before you would have pushed the door open.
The door clanked closed and it echoed throughout the court. You spotted your girlfriend as she exited the locker room, carrying her duffel bag. She still wore her red varsity shirt and black shorts, kneepads on her knees. Her black hair is loose. There was silence between you two, around five to six seconds, before you ended it with clearing your throat.
“Congrats, babe. I watched everything, you did great.” You began, hesitation in your tone.
Her face stayed emotionless, not a single inch of movement from her lips. She kept her gaze and you felt her hatred behind those eyes. She’d always give those whenever she’s mad and you were used to it, but doesn’t fail to give you discomfort at the same time.
“I mean I know you’re not in your mood to see me right now, but I just want to congratulate you as your boyfriend, and someone who’d stay by your side even in the worst times” You swallowed the lump in your throat, and after another silence came through you started to walk away.
“So you’re leaving?” She finally spoke, but in a plain tone. You stopped and turned at her. “Is that a boyfriend act?”
“No, of course. I . . I”
“Hesitant? Same reason all over again because you’re scared to talk to me right in my face when these matters come.”
“I just don’t wanna ruin your day. Today is your win day.” “You step out that door” She points her finger. “And leave me hanging all alone, you think that will not ruin it as well, Y/n?”
You felt exhausted with everything, and it’s just that a simple hug would clearly end this all right away. You were not in your mood to argue, to open up your hatred about Christmas day, and you just want to rest. You let out a deep sigh and walked towards her. The shoes of yours squeaking against the court floor.
“Look, I'm sorry. My emotions consumed me when you ghosted my texts the whole night during christmas. I really hated when I saw you post pics on your story while you left my messages hanging throughout your party. I’m overthinking, and worried. You know that?” You spoke calmly. She crossed her arms, tilting her head.
“You don’t trust me don’t you?”
“It’s not like that, Yoona. Is it bad for me to feel that way, I’m just worried.”
“Yeah you’re worried, because you don’t trust me. That’s it. We’ve been together for a year and a half already, babe. If I’m that of a cheater like all the other girls you see around this campus, you think we’ll last this long? I chose you because I know I could trust you, and I thought you’d do the same. It’s always you who’s trying to make things worse.”
“I do trust you, okay?” You sighed and groaned. “Alright, I’m sorry. I told you. My emotions consumed me.”
"And what now? You think your sorry could do something on that pain you gave to me? Always the same usual word I'll receive and then guess what, you'd do it again."
"It's my fucking emotions that made me do it. I was out of my mind, I was angry."
"It's not a valid reason for me Y/n. What if you've done something worse than this? Tell me. I'm trying to be understanding most of the time. Why do you have to abuse it?"
There was silence. It was hard to form up such word or thought, and it was better to shut your mouth than feed the fire with more gasoline. She'd always turn the tables and make you the worse one between you couple. She never failed, but you who's a stupid, would let her do it over and over again.
She kept her gaze still, keeping her arms crossed. You could hear her breaths fasten. The silence seemed to calm the situation as it got longer. There were no other people around rather than both of you, so no matter if you both shouted at each other, no one would care.
“I don’t want our day to be like this, Y/n.” She looked up at you, her tone calmer. Her eyes were still disappointed but she tried her best to look welcoming after. Then she removed her gaze at you and moved it somewhere behind your direction. “So, I’ll let this slide for now. I just want the day great.”
Your light nods made her look back at you.
“Go get my stuff I left there inside the locker room. That’s the thing you can do for me, for now.”
So you followed. Inside, there were her bags over the bench in the middle of their room. The room smelled Jasmine and a mix of Lavender. The blue tinted glass pane colored the lights outside blue with a hint of ray passing through the glass, down to the floor. As you carried her items, you saw Sullyoon at the door. It was closed, then a clunking sound. She kept her gaze at you while leaning, her hands behind her waist, her foot resting against the door.
“I found it, let’s go?” You smiled and there was still silence. She pushed herself with her foot and began to walk slowly towards you. You kept your composure, watched her image get closer and closer. It was dim. She had not opened the lights but her presence was not impossible for you to see. She pushed the bags over your arms away and you watched it fall on the ground. Her eyes, those alluring eyes, were still chained on yours. You were confused. You began to step backwards while asking her sudden actions, but not a single answer escaped her lips. And when you met the wall behind you, she tilted her head and grasped your right wrist, pushing it against the wall.
Then she leaned for a kiss, capturing your lips quickly. It begins soft, just touching your lips, then slowly she starts to suck into your upper lip. You raised your left arm and wanted to touch her shoulder, but she moved it away, slapping your hand. She pulled away when she grabbed your other wrist. Her eyes filled with hatred, and she gave those to you. Your both arms are both pinned against the wall.
“Don’t touch me.” She said softly in a warning tone.
“Yoona, here?”
She narrowed her eyes, your question seemed to annoy her more. “You are worried if someone’s gonna catch us here, fucking your loved one inside this dark room. But you never thought of getting worried on how I may feel with all these shitty actions you’re doing nowadays, huh? Isn’t that unfair?” She pressed her body more into you. It was getting more uncomfortable, but sort of hot at the same time. Her breaths warm on your neck. “So I’m here . .” Every phrase, she kisses and slides her lips onto your neck. “To remind you . . . that cheating on me . . . is your loss . . .” She bites your neck and you let out a soft groan. “ and not mine . . .”
She captured your lips once again and this time it was aggressive. You returned the favor, kissing and sucking into her lower lips that felt very soft. She wrapped her arms around your neck. Her strength enough to pull you even for a deeper kiss that your lips were shoving into each other. She let out soft moans between kisses. You felt her tongue asking for entrance and you welcomed it inside yours
Her hands finally freed your wrists, now below your shirt as she pulled it out from you, leaving you shirtless. She continued to place kisses on your necks, and once she gave a hickey on a spot where it’s impossible to be hidden, just a centimeter between your chin, then she came closer to your ear. “And this will be a reminder to your Yonsei friends.” She whispers.
She made her way down to your chest, sucking into your nipples. You felt like you were in heaven, quite painful, but seeing her hot face devouring you like her post-celebration meal was enough to take those pain away. Her sports shirt, shorts that exposed her thick thigh, she was the definition of seduction. After her works around your chest and into your abs, she finally knelt down. She looked up at you with full desire and lust. Her quickening breaths showed how much energy she had put with those.
Her hands made their way into your belt, unbuckling it, and there was the click of the lock. She bit her lip when it came loose. She threw it away and pulled your pants down. The bulge of your dick on your black underwear greeted her like a toy that is ready to be played with.
You felt her hand on your arm, wrapping her fingers, then pulled you to sit on the bench . The blue light ray from the glass pane shining on both of you is enough for her to enjoy the sight even more. She traced circles around your bulge with her fingers, slowly and sensual. Oh you say, it felt like a sort of heavenly trial that is impossible to resist, and when that index finger reached the tip you knew it was the time to succumb upon her. A soft moan escaped her mouth; you felt it hot over your abdomen. Then when she pulled down your underwear quickly, your dick sprang out to show how it’s ready to be served to her. “Quite a long time.” She hummed, enjoying the view in her eyes. And when she wrapped her fingers around it, she began to take you into her mouth, sending shivers to your body. Your hand resting against the bench and your other on her nape. Cold never existed around the room. Every second you’d feel a sweat trick down your body, and thus it easen her job right now. She takes you even deeper into her mouth, pushing herself more down to your cock. You could hear her choke between, but you ignored. It feels more satisfying. You were enjoying every second that she gave to you. She pulled away and took a quick deep breath. Her eyes tired, but yet the signs of lust. Her hair messy, and a slick of her saliva on her mouth. She bit her lip, continued to take herself more into your cock but this time she went faster. Now it was a different feeling, a sense of rush and it brings you closer to your climax. Seeing her like this was enough to make you finish, but you didn’t want to disappoint your girlfriend, and you know you owe her a lot after all.
Your breath quickened, you were getting very close. And as she watched you, seeing her work at you, she went faster and faster. One last second she pushed herself deeper more into your cock and heard her gurgle. All of today’s argument, stress, and adrenaline finally came into a thick white semen into your girlfriend’s needy throat. She had to make sure it all went straight into her, nothing to waste, nothing to leave a mark of her dirty work. The light outside finally dimmed and it was the sign of night. You let out a deep breath, trying to catch your breath after all. You thought it was done, just a simple quickie she’d always wanted every time, but when she stood up with her eyes not leaving against yours, and leaned closer into you with her fingers grabbing a few strands of your hair, it said otherwise.
“Your turn.” She smirked.
She pressed her foot over your pants to keep it still when you raised your legs out from it. Now you are bare naked. You grabbed her by her waist and brought her towards the locker, pulling her to bend over. Her thick thighs, her soft ass, you were craving for it and you’d never get tired of it. When you slid your hands around it, taking your time to enjoy every inch of it despite the clothing that separates yours and her skin, she moaned. Those moans that’d always keep you active in dirty activities. She made sure it was soft.
“Show me how sorry you are for your doings.” She groaned.
There was no time to waste. You pulled her tight black shorts down, and showed much of her delicious ass beneath her red undergarment. You squeezed in your fingers between her panties, grabbing both cheeks, then pushed your hands down to her legs where the garment had freely fallen along. She watched you enjoy the view of her thighs. Her hair down free. The moans that escaped her mouth as you guided your hands from her thighs up to her perfect curvature of her waist reminded you how sensitive she was with your touches. Sullyoon crumbled within your fingers, and you knew she enjoyed it. You placed kisses on her ass cheeks, to her thighs, every part down to her knees. She’s something worth praising for. And with this image of her, bending over from a red locker with her desireful eyes gazing was only meant for you.
As you shoved your cock into hers, she let out a short loud moan, but quick enough to cover her own mouth after. You began to thrust into her slowly, wanting to hear those noises from her mouth and how she’d beg you to ruin her like a slut. She arched her back and showed more of her curves, resting her arms against the locker doors. Your hands wandering on her skin and her sweat made her body look even more hotter. Now that you quickened your pace at her, her moans began to grow. Her fingers clinged against a small hook of an empty locker. She’d try herself not to be loud, but each second, you’d hear her groan and moan beneath her breaths. She’d give you those eyes pleading you for more.
From her waist, now your hands made their way up to her chest while you continued to grind her. You slowly lifted off her varsity shirt when she raised both of her arms, and only left her with her thin black clothing. Quickly unclipping it, you pulled it out and threw it away, exposing her breasts that were soft in your palms. They were perfect, not big, but not too flat, just enough for your palms to squeeze into. Her nipples hard. She pressed your hands more into her pair of tits while grinding yourself into her, and shortly she tapped your waist to stop.
You watched her turn around and face you, wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling you for another deep sensational kiss. Your mouth's sounding the room. She grabbed your hands and placed them against her breasts once again. They were really soft, her nipples that were satisfying to pinch, and each time you’d do, she’d moan between kisses. You pulled away when you felt her hand around your cock and saw her guide it back inside her. It took quite a moment, but shortly she got it done. Her walls were warm, and you couldn’t wait to grind her throughout the dusk.
“Fucking fuck” She muttered between moans as you resumed your work at her. You carried and held her ass as she raised her legs to wrap it around you, now her full weight under your carry. You pushed her against the lockers and each thrust you gave made audible bangs on the locker doors. She didn’t seem to care about the pain, and the noises seemed to push her louder.
There are only a matter of seconds before you could reach your climax once again. Her nails dug into your scalp. It was painful, but not for your orgasm that consumed you which made it inevitable.
“I’m close” She gasps, a visible plea in her face.
She moans loudly around the room that felt like a scream, but now you don't care much. You loved hearing those, her moans felt like a temporary boost to your thrusts, a signal light to be faster. Everything seemed to lose within seconds. You are not in a condom, you don’t know if she’s on her pills, it’s just an entire guess here guess what, pleasure in the end, without thinking of the possible consequences. But right before you would have reached your climax, you pulled away. She knew it, and her mischievous grin showed much of it. Her hands pushed you back into the bench to sit as she knelt down in front of you, continuing to stroke your cock. Her hand rubbed it hard, then swallowed it back into her throat where you fully shooted your second round of cum. You noticed her rubbing her clit along with her devours and her juices had spread on the floor.
“Shit, Yoona” There were no other words to say but this. She continued to take you into her mouth, twirling, then slowly pulled off. A slick of your cum on her mouth before she licked it off. You watched her catch her breath while she looked back at you, her eyes showed appreciation, and her hatred seemed to disappear after all.
“I like it when we do it somewhere illegal. Not in your just boring ass apartment.” She giggled, resting herself over your thighs. You caressed her cheeks and ran your fingers over her smooth hair that was now messy than an hour ago. You could only take your time now appreciating her presence by your side. People don't know what’s in here. They must’ve been in their homes now. It’s already nighttime, around six or a half, and she doesn’t seem to care about it. She just wanted you, being reassured that your love is within her till now.
#nmixx sullyoon#nmixx#sullyoon#volleyball#girlfriend#female manipulator#male reader#smut#nmixx smut#ive#ahn yujin#kpop#kpop girls#reader insert#long post
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Cross-posting an essay I wrote for my Patreon since the post is free and open to the public.
Hello everyone! I hope you're relaxing as best you can this holiday season. I recently went to see Miyazaki's latest Ghibli movie, The Boy and the Heron, and I had some thoughts about it. If you're into art historical allusions and gently cranky opinions, please enjoy. I've attached a downloadable PDF in the Patreon post if you'd prefer to read it that way. Apologies for the formatting of the endnotes! Patreon's text posting does not allow for superscripts, which means all my notations are in awkward parentheses. Please note that this writing contains some mild spoilers for The Boy and the Heron.
Hayao Miyazaki’s 2023 feature animated film The Boy and the Heron reads as an extended meditation on grief and legacy. The Master of a grand tower seeks a descendant to carry on his maddening duty, balancing toy blocks of magical stone upon which the entire fabric of his little pocket of reality rests. The world’s foundations are frail and fleeting, and can pass away into the cold void of space should he neglect to maintain this task. The Master’s desire to pass the torch undergirds much of the film’s narrative.
(Isle of the Dead. Arnold Böcklin. 1880. Oil on Canvas. Kunstmuseum. Basel, Switzerland.)
Arnold Böcklin, a Swiss Symbolist(1) painter, was born on October 16 in 1827, the same year the Swiss Evangelical Reformed Church bought a plot of land in Florence from the Grand Duke of Tuscany, Leopold II, that had long been used for the burials of Protestants around Florence. It is colloquially known as The English Cemetery, so called because it was the resting place of many Anglophones and Protestants around Tuscany, and Böcklin frequented this cemetery—his workshop was adjacent and his infant daughter Maria was buried there. In 1880, he drew inspiration from the cemetery, a lone plot of Protestant land among a sea of Catholic graveyards, and began to paint what would be the first of six images entitled Isle of the Dead. An oil on canvas piece, it depicts a moody little island mausoleum crowned with a gently swaying grove of cypresses, a type of tree common in European cemeteries and some of which are referred to as arborvitae. A figure on a boat, presumably Charon, ferries a soul toward the island and away from the viewer.
(Photo of The English Cemetery in Florence. Samuli Lintula. 2006.)
The Isle of the Dead paintings varied slightly from version to version, with figures and names added and removed to suit the needs of the time or the commissioner. The painting was glowingly referenced and remained fairly popular throughout the late 19th and early 20th centuries. The painting used to be inescapable in much of European popular culture. Professor Okulicz-Kozaryn, a philologist (someone with a deep interest in the ways language and cultural canons evolve)(2) observed that the painting, like many other works in its time, was itself iterative and became widely reiterated and referenced among its contemporaries. It became something like Romantic kitsch in the eyes of modern art critics, overwrought and excessively Byronic. I imagine Miyazaki might also resent a work of that level of manufactured ubiquity, as Miyazaki famously held Disney animated films in contempt (3). Miyazaki’s films are popularly aspirational to young animators and cartoonists, but gestures at imitation typically fall well short, often reducing Miyazaki’s weighty films to kitschy images of saccharine vibes and a lazy indulgence in a sort of empty magical domestic coziness. Being trapped in a realm of rote sentiment by an uncritical, unthoughtful viewership is its own Isle of Death.
(Still from The Boy and the Heron, 2023. Studio Ghibli.)
The Boy and the Heron follows a familiar narrative arc to many of Miyazaki’s other films: a child must journey through a magical and quietly menacing world in order to rescue their loved ones. This arc is an echo of Satsuki’s journey to find Mei in My Neighbor Totoro (1988) and Chihiro’s journey to rescue her parents Spirited Away (2001). To better understand Miyazaki’s fixation with this particular character journey, it can be instructive to watch Lev Atamanov’s 1957 animated film, The Snow Queen (4)(5), a beautifully realized take on Hans Christian Andersen’s 1844 children’s story (6)(7). Mahito’s journey continues in this tradition, as the boy travels into a painted world to rescue his new stepmother from a mysterious tower.
Throughout the film, Miyazaki visually references Isle of the Dead. Transported to a surreal world, Mahito initially awakens on a little green island with a gated mausoleum crowned with cypress trees. He is accosted by hungry pelicans before being rescued by a fisherwoman named Kiriko. After a day of catching and gutting fish, Mahito wakes up under the fisherwoman’s dining table, surrounded by kokeshi—little wooden dolls—in the shapes of the old women who run Mahito’s family’s rural household. Mahito is told they must not be touched, as the kokeshi are wards set up for his protection. There is a popular urban legend associated with the kokeshi wherein they act as stand-ins for victims of infanticide, though there seems to be very little available writing to support this legend. Still, it’s a neat little trick that Miyazaki pulls, placing a stray reference to a local legend of unverifiable provenance that persists in the popular imagination, like the effect of fairy stories passed on through oral retellings, continually remolded each new iteration.
(Still from The Boy and the Heron, 2023. Studio Ghibli.)
Kiriko’s job in this strange landscape is to catch fish to nourish unborn spirits, the adorable floating warawara, before they can attempt to ascend on a journey into the world of the living. Their journey is thwarted by flocks of supernatural pelicans, who swarm the warawara and devour them. This seems to nod to the association of pelicans with death in mythologies around the world, especially in relationship to children (8). Miyazaki’s pelicans contemplate the passing of their generations as each successive generation seems to regress, their capacity to fulfill their roles steadily diminishing.
(Still from The Boy and the Heron, 2023. Studio Ghibli.)
As Mahito’s adventure continues, we find the landscapes changing away from Böcklin’s Isle of the Dead into more familiar Ghibli territories as we start to see spaces inspired by one of Studio Ghibli’s aesthetic mainstays, Naohisa Inoue and his explorations of the fantasy realms of Iblard. He might be most familiar to Ghibli enthusiasts as the background artists for the more fantastical elements of Whisper of the Heart (1995).
(Naohisa Inoue, for Iblard Jikan, 2007. Studio Ghibli.)
By the time we arrive at the climax of The Boy and the Heron, the fantasy island environment starts to resemble English takes on Italian gardens, the likes of which captivated illustrators and commercial artists of the early 20th century such as Maxfield Parrish. This appears to be a return to one of Böcklin’s later paintings, The Island of Life (1888), a somewhat tongue-in-cheek reaction to the overwhelming presence of Isle of the Dead in his life and career. The Island of Life depicts a little spot of land amid an ocean very like the one on which Isle of the Dead’s somber mausoleum is depicted, except this time the figures are lively and engaged with each other, the vegetation lush and colorful, replete with pink flowers and palm fronds.
(Island of Life. Arnold Böcklin. Oil on canvas. 1888. Kunstmuseum. Basel, Switzerland.)
In 2022, Russia’s State Hermitage Museum in Saint Petersburg acquired the sixth and final Isle of the Dead painting. In the last year of his life, Arnold Böcklin would paint this image in collaboration with his son Carlo Böcklin, himself an artist and an architect. Arnold Böcklin spent three years painting the same image three times over at the site of his infant daughter’s grave, trapped on the Isle of the Dead. By the time of his death in 1901 at age 74, Böcklin would be survived by only five of his fourteen children. That the final Isle of the Dead painting would be a collaboration between father and son seemed a little ironic considering Hayao Miyazaki’s reticence in passing on his own legacy. Like the old Master in The Boy and the Heron, Miyazaki finds himself with no true successors.
The Master of the Tower's beautiful islands of painted glass fade into nothing as Mahito, his only worthy descendant, departs to live his own life, fulfilling the thesis of Genzaburo Yoshino’s 1937 book How Do You Live?, published three years after Carlo Böcklin’s death. In evoking Yoshino and Böcklin’s works, Hayao Miyazaki’s The Boy and the Heron suggests that, like his character the Master, Miyazaki himself must make peace with the notion that he has no heirs to his legacy, and that those whom he wished to follow in his footsteps might be best served by finding their own paths.
(Isle of the Dead. Arnold and Carlo Böcklin. Oil on canvas. 1901. The State Hermitage Museum. Saint Petersburg, Russia.)
INFORMAL ENDNOTES
1 - Symbolists are sort of tough to nail down. They were started as a literary movement to 1 distinguish themselves from the Decadents, but their manifesto was so vague that critics and academics fight about it to this day. The long and the short of it is that the Symbolists made generous use of a lot of metaphorical imagery in their work. They borrow a lot of icons from antiquity, echo the moody aesthetics from the Romantics, maintained an emphasis on figurative imagery more so than the Surrealists, and were only slightly more technically married to the trappings of traditionalist academic painters than Modernists and Impressionists. They're extremely vibes-forward.
2 - Okulicz-Kozaryn, Radosław. Predilection of Modernism for Variations. Ciulionis' Serenity among Different Developments of the Theme of Toteninsel. ACTA Academiae Artium Vilnensis 59. 2010. The article is incredibly cranky and very funny to read in parts. Contains a lot of observations I found to be helpful in placing Isle of the Dead within its context.
3 - "From my perspective, even if they are lightweight in nature, the more popular and common films still must be filled with a purity of emotion. There are few barriers to entry into these films-they will invite anyone in but the barriers to exit must be high and purifying. Films must also not be produced out of idle nervousness or boredom, or be used to recognise, emphasise, or amplify vulgarity. And in that context, I must say that I hate Disney's works. The barrier to both the entry and exit of Disney films is too low and too wide. To me, they show nothing but contempt for the audience." from Miyazaki's own writing in his collection of essays, Starting Point, published in 2014 from VIZ Media.
4 - You can watch the movie here in its original Russian with English closed captions here.
5 If you want to learn more about the making of Atamanoy's The Snow Queen, Animation Obsessive wrote a neat little article about it. It's a good overview, though I have to gently disagree with some of its conclusions about the irony of Miyazaki hating Disney and loving Snow Queen, which draws inspiration from Bambi. Feature film animation as we know it hadonly been around a few decades by 1957, and I find it specious, particularly as a comic artistand author, to see someone conflating an entire form with the character of its content, especially in the relative infancy of the form. But that's just one hot take. The rest of the essay is lovely.
6 - Miyazaki loves this movie. He blurbed it in a Japanese re-release of it in 2007.
7 - Julia Alekseyeva interprets Princess Mononoke as an iteration of Atamanov's The Snow Queen, arguing that San, the wolf princess, is Miyazaki's homage to Atamanoy's little robber girl character.
8 - Hart, George. The Routledge Dictionary of Egyptian Gods And Goddesses. Routledge Dictionaries. Abingdon, United Kingdom: Routledge. 2005.
#hayao miyazaki#the boy and the heron#how do you live#arnold böcklin#carlo böcklin#symbolists#symbolism#animation#the snow queen#lev atamanov#naohisa inoue#the endnotes are very very informal aksjlsksakjd#sorry to actual essayists
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Professor Carr's New Slave
BDSM erotica. Fictional characters over 18.
Can't...breathe!
Lena's body jerked as she tried desperately to get much needed oxygen. Her wrists and ankles were clipped together, and she started to panic, gagging on the penis filling her mouth and throat.
Professor Carr didn't relent. Just kept her head in place, choking her with his cock. Not until he was done coming. A final pulse of semen coated her tongue as he withdrew.
She coughed, swallowing this last deposit of his cum and struggling for air. Her eyes watered. All she could taste and smell was his essence.
"Please let me go," Lena tried again.
He ignored her. He always ignored her when she didn't follow his script.
"You'll have to get much better at that, my girl," he said, as if she hadn't spoken. "Can't have such a poorly trained slave. I have a reputation to maintain, you know."
"Please, Professor Carr. I won't tell anyone. You can't do this."
"I expect you to wake me every morning by taking me in your mouth," he continued, speaking over her. "How you begin your day depends on how well you perform this service. I can make your life very uncomfortable if you fail to please me, slave."
"My name isn't slave. It's Lena, you bastard."
His eyes flashed with anger, the only sign that he registered what she said. "You will be required to clean my cock with your mouth after I've used your other holes."
"Fuck you. You can't make me do this. You can't do this to me!"
"Until I have need of your mouth, it's really of no use to me, is it?" Professor Carr said. "Speaking is a privilege. I didn't purchase you for your college-student intellect or your sparkling wit. I paid for a sex slave."
Lena's eyes widened as she saw him reach for the ring gag.
"No, no, no—"
All her thrashing on the bed in restraints did nothing to stop her polisci professor from putting the ring gag on her. She groaned hollowly as saliva immediately began to pool.
"We shall practice with your mouth again this evening," Professor Carr said, checking his watch. "For now, there are other parts of you to train."
Lena moaned and drooled uncontrollably as he began to violate her ass and cunt. First with his fingers, then toys that made her insensible. She climaxed. Then she did again. And again. And again. Each time orgasm stormed through her, twisting her up and turning her inside out, she lost sight of the inescapable situation she found herself in.
He had warned her from the first moment she woke up in his house, chained in a cage, that he would do this to her. He would teach her to be his sex slave. Train her to her new role in life. Transform her utterly, until none of her friends would even recognize her.
She hadn't thought it would happen in a week.
#bd/sm kink#humiliation kink#degrade and humiliate me#degradation k1nk#bd/sm slave#dominated slave#female sub#female submission#bd/sm master
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I think one of the reasons the Fallen London Horticultural Show will always be one of my fondest memories of the game is because it is canonically the event that radicalized my character
#fallen london#Horticultural Hell#The Inescapable Professor#london horticultural show#london horticultural festival
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Obsession (part 2) - (tom riddle x fem!reader)
part 1
Warnings: injury & blood.
A/N: Finally I got this done. Hopefully it's to your liking and was worth the very very long wait. Let me know what you think!
༻♛༺
Tom Riddle was in a predicament.
In his defence, he had not expected things to turn out the way they did.
It started after that fated day in the library, when he had seen the kind of book she was interested in. She was out after curfew, when the clock was striking towards midnight, and he had been coming back from the meeting with his Knights of Walpurgis. He had not planned to trail behind her.
It was fate, he kept telling himself.
Clad in a silky nightgown that barely left anything to the imagination, the girl moved with an alluring grace, her slender figure slipping through the shadows as if guided by some invisible force. Tom, captivated by her presence, found himself lost in a daze, his purpose momentarily forgotten.
He kept to the dark corners of the hallway as he followed the girl he had become infatuated with, taking extra measure to disguise the echo of his footsteps.
When they reached the library, she looked around the corridor to make sure she was undetected before entering the place swiftly. Tom's curiosity peaked and he slipped inside, mirroring her movements with fluid precision.
A sly smirk danced on his lips when he realised she had broken into the restricted section of the library.
She stopped in front of a bookshelf and he watched, enthralled, as her fingers grazed the spines of the numerous tomes lined up on the shelves before they halted and pulled out a scarlet-bound book.
Using her momentary distraction, Tom sneaked behind her until he stood a mere centimetres away from her, so close that if she shifted even a little bit, his chest would brush against her back.
"Isn't it a little late for rendezvous in the library?"
She jumped, startled, and before she could let out a scream of surprise, his hand covered her mouth. He pressed himself against her back, effectively silencing her, but she kept squirming in his grip.
"If I let go, you will not scream." His voice held an unwavering authority as he warned her. Her head bobbed in reluctant agreement, and Tom cautiously withdrew his hand, yet he remained close, his presence an inescapable force. The witch pivoted to face him, steadying herself against the edge of the bookshelf as Tom loomed above her.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. Tom's gaze dipped, his hand idly toying with the delicate fabric of her nightgown.
When she huffed impatiently, he rose a brow. "Should I not be the one asking you that?"
She stared at him for a moment before releasing a defeated sigh. "Fine. I was looking for a particular book and I knew the professors would not give me a pass if they knew what it was about."
His gaze dropped to the said book she was clutching in one of her hands, and despite the darkness surrounding them, he almost instantly recognized it.
"Why are you interested in necromancy?"
She shrugged. "Why not?"
He hummed, displeased with her lack of communication. He knew she was not ordinary, and he was aware she possessed a certain interest in the Dark Arts.
"I have a proposition for you." He revealed after a brief moment of silence. "I have a...group of individuals who share an understanding and desire that can only be quenched with the Dark Arts. We have certain beliefs that we will enforce once we have enough power to do so. I wish for you to join us."
"Why me?"
"You would be a valuable asset."
She arched an elegant brow, bemused. "Asset?"
"Yes."
"I'm not an asset to be possessed, Tom. If you want me, you have to prove it."
There was something sultry in her tone that sent shivers down Tom's spine, and he felt unnerved by the unfamiliar feeling that crept into his veins. There was something about her, Tom had not yet figured it out, but whatever it was, it had pulled him towards her and he was set on finding out just why he had gotten so obsessed with the witch.
Despite the protests of the rational side of his head, he gave into his urges and pressed his body into hers, caging her against the bookshelf. She was startled by the proximity, he could tell by the way her eyes widened just slightly, and he threw all caution to the wind before lowering his head and pressing his lips to hers.
She wasted no time before trailing her hands into his hair, grasping his dark curls to ground herself before she could get lost in the feel of his mouth hungrily bruising her own. His lips felt contradicting— like sandpaper and silk, and she was sure that one taste of him would not suffice.
His hands grasped onto her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to him as he bit down on her lower lip, drawing a gasp from her that had his body rising in temperature. If they did not stop, Tom was sure his self-control would slip through his grasp and he would end up taking her right there—against the bookshelf in the library.
With a pained groan, he drew back, giving her time to catch her breath as he did the same.
She slowly looked up at him from under her lashes with hazy eyes, and Tom had to close his eyes at the sight. He had to stop before he could lose all his composure.
When he looked at her again, the dishevelled hair and the reddened lips, it was as if reality had slapped him across the face. With a deep inhale—which might have been a bad idea, as it was only her scent that he inhaled, sweet and addictive— he turned on his heel and left her standing there, leaving only confusion in his wake.
She braced herself against the bookshelf. "What the fuck?" She wondered, and the only reply she got was the eerie silence of the Restricted Section.
༻♛༺
Tom was avoiding her.
She would have laughed at the situation. The notion that a mature and all-powerful wizard would find himself evading her presence, all because of a single kiss, held a touch of irony that was not lost on her. But alas, she had been just as affected by the kiss and had found herself instinctively steering clear of the places he frequented, caught in a delicate dance of longing and self-preservation.
Still, she couldn't help but wonder what it was that had set him off. Was it her audacious nature, her unyielding boldness that had unsettled him? Or perhaps it had been his own disbelief, grappling with the unexpected surge of desire that had coursed through his veins.
Yet despite their carefully constructed waltz of avoidance, like all dances, it had to come to an end at some point or another.
It was a rainy afternoon when they saw each other next. The Defence Against The Dark Arts classroom had been cleared to form a clear ground for what was assumed to be duels.
The witch released a displeased groan as soon as she set foot into the room, knowing quite well she was not in the right headspace to perform in a fight.
"Thought you loved a good old duel?" A familiar voice mused from behind her, and she turned to see Abraxas watching her with a raised brow.
"Not today. I am sleep deprived and I am hungry." She replied gloomily, glancing back at the board hung in the front of the room and trying to allocate her name.
"Ah yes. Your presence was certainly missed during breakfast today."
"I'm sure." She drawled. He was about to retort back with a sarcastic comment of his own when the witch in front of him stiffened before rubbing at her temples tiredly. "Great. I've been paired with Alphard Black."
The blonde patted her on the back sympathetically. "That is going to be a tough one." He snickered before adding— "Especially considering you are barely able to stand on two feet without swaying like a toddler who has just learned to walk."
The witch only shot him a deathly glare in reply.
"Settle down everyone!" The professor finally entered the room, clapping her hands to bring attention to herself. "You have probably already guessed what we are doing today." She rubbed her palms against each other excitedly, ignoring the weak protests voiced by some students claiming it to be too early for such exercise. "Shall we begin then? Who would like to go first?"
As she was just to suppress a yawn, Alphard Black stepped onto the podium, hands tucked lazily in his trousers, announcing that he would like to go first and finish the whole ordeal.
The professor smiled enthusiastically. "And who has been partnered with Alphard...?" She glanced at the board, eyes tracing over the thing until she found what she was looking for. She called the witch's name. "Come on up, dear."
"Break a leg," Abraxas said encouragingly, and the girl shot him a half-smile half-grimace before joining Alphard in the middle of the classroom.
Alphard nodded to her in acknowledgement while assuming his position with his wand raised at the ready. Bowing down slightly, as was customary at the start of every duel, they both waited for the professor to announce the beginning of the match.
The professor raised her hand, and with a firm voice, declared, "You may begin!"
Energy crackled in the air as the duo sprang into action. Alphard began with elegant yet measured wand movements, casting spells that tested her defences, and the witch in turn, countered with a protective shield to ward off his attacks. Seeing an opening to retaliate, she thrust her wand forward, causing a stream of sparks to shoot toward Alphard. He deflected them with a deft flick of his wrist.
The back and forth went on for a few more minutes, and she could sense Alphard's impatience at the lack of intensity of the fight. His eyes hardened, and he began shooting spell after spell, barely giving the witch any opportunity to retailate.
With each passing moment, her exhaustion became more evident as she struggled to maintain her concentration. Her wand movements became sluggish, and her spells lacked their usual precision. Alphard deftly deflected her weakened magical strikes, and in a split moment he managed to slip past her guard.
"Diffindo!"
Pain shot through her body at the impact as she staggered backwards from the impact, clutching her injured arm that was now gushing with blood.
Alphard's eye widened in alarm. "Sorry about that." He apologised sheepishly while the professor rushed to her side to examine the deep gash on her arm.
"You ought to go to the Hospital Wing to get this fixed."
"It is fine, it's not that—"
But her protest died in her throat when a familiar voice sounded from her side. "I will take her." And before she could process it, slender fingers wrapped around her elbow and began pulling her towards the door. She distinctly heard the Professor express her gratitude for Tom, but it was all tuned out by the close proximity of him invading her senses.
"What are you doing?" She asked when they were out the door, trying vainly to free herself from his grip. She only managed to stumble in the process, and Tom, with an exasperated sigh, grabbed a hold of her waist with his other arm so that she could walk straight.
"Escorting you to the Hospital Wing." He deadpanned, and had she not been dizzy from the blood loss, perhaps she would have protested.
"I can escort myself, thanks."
"Really? You could barely dodge a third-year spell back there. I do not think it is wise to trust you to find your way around the castle in this state."
She huffed. "I was...distracted." Then, with a surprising burst of energy, she ripped herself away from his hold. "And I do not wish to go to the Hospital Wing."
Tom's onyx eyes narrowed. "Why not?"
"She will make me stay overnight for no reason. This is just a scratch. Not a big deal."
She could sense his indignation from where she stood, and for a brief moment she thought he would forcefully drag her down to get her arm fixed just to get their interaction over with, so it came as a surprise when he gave in. "Fine. I will fix it." He declared with a tired sigh.
"What? No. I don't wa—"
"It is either that or the Hospital Wing."
She glared at him. "You are a prick."
His hand found purchase around her elbow again, and he all but dragged her towards the nearest empty classroom, shoving her in. The door closed behind them with an echoing thud, sealing them in a space heavy with tension.
"Sit." He demanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.
She reluctantly obeyed, propping herself on a table and dangling her legs, apprehensive eyes fixed on him as he began moving towards her. When he approached, a charged silence hung in the air and she held in her gasp as he placed a hand on her lower thigh, halting her movements. Slowly, almost as if unsure, he pushed her legs open so he could stand in between them.
Time seemed to stretch, elongating the moment, as they remained locked in a silent exchange, their unspoken desires suspended in the space between them. With a firm grasp, he took hold of her injured arm and held his wand in his unoccupied hand.
She watched with bated breath as he muttered under his breath, tracing his wand over her wound in patterns as the slash began closing, her skin knitting itself back together. He only stopped when the skin looked unblemished once again, pocketing his wand in the pocket of his robes, but not letting go of her arm just yet.
The closeness between them was intoxicating, their breaths mingling, their heartbeats echoing in a symphony of desire. He shifted, and the act caused his nose to brush against hers.
"Tom..." She whispered, unsure, hesitant, but wanting.
Unable to resist the magnetic pull any longer, he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against hers. She kissed him back almost immediately, and he raised his hand to cradle her jaw, deepening the kiss.
"Tom," The witch managed to breathe out in between the kisses, "Are you going to run away again?" She managed to get out just as he dived to bite on the tender flesh of her neck. A gasp left her mouth at the stinging yet pleasurable feel of his teeth on her skin.
"No." He replied, and when he rose his head to look at her, his pupils were blown wide, and he looked absolutely feral. Wild and untamed. "No, I am never letting you out of my hold ever again." He stated before reclaiming her lips once again with a primal sense of ownership that sent a jolt of desire coursing through her entire being. "Mine," he whispered against her lips and his words resonated with unwavering conviction, an unyielding declaration of possession.
She did not protest.
༻♛༺
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#tom riddle#tom riddle one shot#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle imagine#tom marvolo riddle#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle fic#tom riddle fanfiction#tom riddle fanfic#tom riddle fluff#tom riddle angst
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It’s so incredibly important to me that Luke isn’t vegan or vegetarian, and that he hasn’t ever been (to our knowledge.
Stay with me here because this is a long post.
In early childhood, around age four or so, children develop the ability to show empathy and understand perspectives other than their own. And at some point, I’d imagine almost everyone has the realization that when they eat meat, whatever it was used to be alive. Yes it’s sad, but it’s the circle of life. It’s just how it is for our survival.
To my understanding, vegetarians and vegans (for non-dietary reasons) choose it so they don’t participate in inhumane practices and support the exploitation of animals. I have also heard the perspectives that the animals don’t consent to whatever product being taken from them.
I’d imagine this would be a little different for Luke (and Clark as well), because they can communicate with the animals in questions. In this case, he has a heightened sense of empathy for them, because he can connect to the animals in a way that other people can’t. He knows the butcher, but he also knew the pig, if that makes sense.
But he can also talk to predators like Hannibal, Old Red, etc that are carnivorous (or otherwise have the ability to hunt and kill). I can imagine he’s had his chance encounters with dead prey and the like. And with that ability, he can relate.
All this to say that I think Luke was introduced at a young age to the concept that some things are bound to happen. The circle of life. Death is unavoidable and inescapable, and it will come for everyone eventually. Not that their lives are meaningless, but that it all serves a greater purpose, and that everyone has a role to fill. Things are meant to live and to die, and balance remains intact. That’s just a fact of life.
Luke, by AL, has had brushes with death before. Running from the specter, saving Melina, getting strung up five stories off the ground, etc. He’s no stranger to how dangerous being with Layton is, and he’s accepted it.
In Azran Legacy, Luke is the first to accept his death. Of all five of them, he’s the only child, and yet the first to turn to the beams. He bears such a sense of responsibility where any other twelve year old would probably be petrified. The world is ending and to save it he has to die? It’s a large burden to bare, but the others, who have year of age over him, don’t accept it. In fact, the oldest person ends up being the last to step in, and even then takes his time.
Of course this is partly due to his maturity (he’s been established to show maturity beyond his years) and partly because of Professor Layton’s own burden of responsibility, some of that unnecessary guilt I imagine has rubbed off on Luke.
However, I like to think that Luke’s upbringing and experiences have a part in that. Everything must die eventually, and if his time is now, and if it will help everyone, so be it.
#thanks for coming to my ted talk#pl#professor layton#professor layton spoilers#azran legacy spoilers#luke triton#theadcanons#and this is how Luke making a singular comment to paddy in ls relates to his death#thposts#quick note on the vegetarian thing. it doesn’t have to be for dietary/morality reasons it can be for anything ough I should clarify#thanalysis
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"Evasive Maneuvers" - Part 8
Summary: You've been in love with Sebastian since the moment you knocked him on his arse on your first day. Entering your sixth year, you finally begin working up the courage to confess your feelings when he suddenly becomes the best Beater Hogwarts has seen in decades - and subsequently becomes the school's most eligible bachelor.
Author's Notes: back at it with part 8 after an extended hiatus! i'm so sorry for the angsty cliffhanger, my loves. college has been taking up most of my time, but i promise this isn't the last chapter! see you at the next one :)))
Sebastian Sallow had never considered himself undesirable, but ever since his daring rescue and subsequent placement on the Championship team his popularity skyrocketed. Several of the girls in his year had begun giggling each time they passed him in the halls between classes, and a few of them even trailed him class to class, blushing like mad. He seemed to have caught the eye of every witch, and nearly every wizard, in the castle. Every witch, that is, except the one he so desperately longed to speak to. To add insult to injury, his beloved Gryffindor was seldom seen without Garreth Weasley by her side. Garreth, who had been chosen as the Championship team’s second Beater.
When Professor Howin announced the official roster after dinner last week Sebastian was hardly surprised. Everything was going to Hell in a handbasket, and he would’ve been more shocked if she’d chosen anyone other than that smug git. He hadn’t spoken to his Gryffindor since last week. It might take time, but surely she had to understand that he was wrong for her. Even if he’d wanted to apologize to her, what would he even say? He couldn’t - wouldn’t - place her in harm’s way ever again. Despite his every effort to make amends for his actions in fifth year, there was always a voice whispering to him in the dark recesses of his mind. It mimicked her screams and promised that she would never be safe so long as he was by her side. In time Ominis, Anne, and his beloved Gryffindor had all forgiven him. But he could never forgive himself.
He was growing restless in her absence, throwing himself into his studies and pushing himself to exhaustion at every practice. He found work to be the best distraction, but even his fellow team members could sense he was nearing a breaking point.
He found himself searching for her in every corridor hoping to get her alone so that he could begin to fix things. Perhaps he could convince her that they weren’t right for each other. He could sever the thread connecting their hearts and cauterize the wound with the guilt that tormented him each night. They could remain friends, just friends, and nothing more. Sebastian told himself that it would be enough. If he could survive just having her in his life, even if it meant never having her in his arms. And every day, just before he saw her laughing with Garreth, he could almost make himself believe it.
---
The worst thing about nightmares wasn’t the horrors that waited, but the inescapability of it all. For all his books and cleverness, logic was useless against the throes of his own terrified mind. A good night’s sleep was a pipe dream. After nearly an hour of tossing and turning Sebastian gave up on trying to rest and slipped away to the common room.
The cavernous hall was as empty as he expected it to be in the dead hours of early morning. The fires burned demurely in the hearths and the gentle padding of his slippers against stone was the only sound to echo back to him. He stood in the center of the main atrium facing the windows and took a deep breath. As a little boy Sebastian had hated feeling small, like he was at the mercy of everyone and everything bigger than him.
But now as he gazed up at the great vaulted ceilings he was reminded of how freeing it felt to let go. A year before his parents’ accident they’d taken a family trip to London. His most vivid memory was of the grand cathedrals they’d visited. The stone arches sloped around intricate stained glass windows reached proudly for the heavens at least a hundred feet above him. The gentle timbre of a practicing choir and the sun caressing his cheek had lulled him into a sense of peace reminiscent of falling asleep in his mother’s arms. He’d give anything to feel that small and safe and protected again.
Ever since he’d lost his parents Sebastian had been determined to keep those he cared about safe at any cost. If he had to choose between his happiness or theirs, he’d relinquish his own without question. If he was doing the right thing to keep his Gryffindor safe, then why did it cause him such agony?
The unfairness of it all seeped into his very bones and settled like lead. Sebastian wondered if the universe decided ahead of time which souls were marked to suffer. If he had been faster the night his parents collapsed in their laboratory, perhaps his family would still be together. If he’d been just a bit smarter in fifth year, perhaps he could have found a cure for his sister before resorting to torturing his best friend.
He vaguely registered the book slip from his weak grasp. It was the starting thud of the spine hitting marble that roused him from his thoughts. As he bent to retrieve the tome he heard a soft sigh from one of the couches by the fire. He wasn’t alone. Curiosity got the better of him and drew him toward the sleeping figure.
His breath hitched as he recognized the girl asleep among the velvet cushions. A faraway voice reminded him of Ominis’ passing remarks from breakfast. She and Ominis were working together on a class project by the end of the week and they would be working in the common room for a few hours. But it didn’t matter. None of it did. She was curled up on her side, hair sloped gently around her shoulders in the softest halo he’d ever seen. Her chest rose and fell and with every breath Sebastian felt himself pulled impossibly closer. He was near enough to notice the tiny shiver that sent a tremble through her frame. He realized she must be cold.
On instinct he slipped out of his robe and laid it over her. She didn’t stir when the makeshift blanket settled around her, and he didn’t want her to. Inexplicably the anxiety had drained from him. He would have given anything for her to just look at him. Weeks without her company had made him desperate. But seeing her sleeping peacefully, knowing that she was safe from harm and poachers and all else for at least one night, was enough for him.
He allowed himself to stare shamelessly, selfishly, for a moment more before quietly making his way back to his room. As he crawled beneath the covers he idly wondered if her ancient magic was what had calmed him so. It was the last thought to cross his mind before he fell into the gently arms of oblivion, free from nightmares for the first time in ages.
.
.
.
.
.
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#its about the yearning#the YEARNING#sebastian sallow x reader#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x you#sebastian sallow x y/n#sebastian sallow#angst#fluff#ominis gaunt#garreth weasley#garreth weasley x reader#garreth weasley x mc#garreth weasley x y/n
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ROUND 3, MATCH 7!
All propaganda and what each competitor is from under the cut
Oliver (Oliver & Company)
I feel like I might have propagandized in the prev question a bit. I don't have much to say other than I still cry during that opening scene, seeing him be abandoned and then no one rescuing him?? Like come ON, look at himmmmmm! I would have in a heartbeat. (I also had a beloved orange cat, Rosie, at the time, so ofc I would have lol) Anyway, I still haven't read Oliver Twist, where I believe OG Oliver might be the more qualified orphan? But I grew up with O&C, it's a beloved favorite of mine, I still love the soundtrack to this day, idc if other people didn't care for it or outright hated it. The nostalgia is inescapable. I am the Rosa Diaz B99 meme: "I've only had [Oliver (& Co)] for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself." He's my silly lil guy, he's an orphan, he deserves to be in at least round one lol.
Clive Dove (Professor Layton)
Lost not one, not two, but three (3) parental figures. Proceeded to grieve in the healthiest of ways, which is to say he built a full-scale replica of London underground with the ultimate goal of destroying the actual city. Also, lured a fourth parental figure in to save him from his own madness. Iconic. 💙🕊️
CLIVE DOVE CLIVE DOVE CLIVE DOVE… He’s amazing to me and I love him a lot. he tried to blow up London because his parents died. He lost his adoptive parent to old age 5 years after his parents died and used the inheritance to build an entire fake London under real London. all so he could destroy real London. he could have just shot Bill Hawks with a Gun.
I was obsessed with him as a kid, my poor little meow meow
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Thasmin Fanfic Recommendations, a master post
Hi all! A fandom is at its healthiest when we share things, so I thought it'd be a good idea to share a list of all my favourite Thasmin (Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan) fanfics that I've read over the past few years. I'd highly recommend all of these. And, if you have any to add, please reblog with the links!
I Think You Might Like Me by Holie47. The Doctor asks Yaz to try and help her figure out what's going on and ends up coming to a realisation. Rated G for General Audiences. Cute Thasmin first kiss.
In This World Of Strangers I Belong To Someone by timetravelbypen. Autumn, 1904, London. Yasmin Khan is newly arrived in the city, eager to start the law degree she's spent so much time working towards. Determined to prove her worth to sceptical classmates and professors, she throws herself into her work. But a chance encounter with eccentric clockmaker Johanna Smith - and a mystery surrounding a progressive pamphlet written by someone called the Doctor - might just remind her she's worth more than her doubters could ever imagine. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Edwardian!AU with human!Thirteenth Doctor. One of the best Thasmin fics I’ve ever read (if not THE best!). There’s also a series of short sequels which you can find here.
to know how it ends and still begin to sing it again (as if it might turn out this time) by Eriadu (@eriadu-in-the-wildwood) and timetravelbypen (@timetravelbypen). They’ve been here before. The Doctor always sidestepping, always avoiding; Yaz always following, always hoping. But in a museum simulation of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, confronted by an all-too familiar tragedy, the cracks begin to show. If they’re going to get out alive, something has to change. They’ve been here before… this time, can they make it through? Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Thasmin fic, set inbetween ‘Legend Of The Sea Devils’ and ‘The Power Of The Doctor’; some really interesting and in-depth characterisation for both Yaz and the Thirteenth Doctor, with some awesome sci-fi elements too.
Flying Lessons by timetravelbypen. A series of vignettes set between Ryan and Graham's departure in Revolution of the Daleks and the end of The Power of the Doctor. In which Yaz learns to fly the TARDIS, and learns just how capable - and how loved - she is in the process. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Just a word of warning, to quote the author; “there is a reference to an attempted suicide/self-harm in line with its depiction in Can You Hear Me as Yaz and the Doctor encounter someone else in a similar situation and Yaz deals with some flashbacks. If you would prefer not to read that, you can skip Lesson Five: Controlled Fall.”.
falling down the stairs (of your love) by timetravelbypen. The gravitational pull Yaz has over the Doctor is unavoidable, inescapable. The Doctor is falling for Yaz... and the Doctor is also falling. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Thasmin sweetness set after ‘Legend Of The Sea Devils’. Fluffy with a bit of angst; very sweet.
Two Idiots In A Box by timetravelbypen. Dan realizes quickly that, if left to their own devices, Yaz and the Doctor are never going to just talk to each other like functional adults. So he and the TARDIS hatch a plan. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. So funny and so sweet!
In fact, just read anything by timetravelbypen; they’re an amazing writer and understand these characters and Doctor Who so well! Their Tumblr blog is here; @timetravelbypen; send them some love!
Miniature #13 - The World Will Wait For Us by vaelerius. Yaz and the Doctor go on a totally-not-an-actual-D.A.T.E in Sheffield to Yaz's favourite restaurant. What could possibly go wrong? Rated G for General Audiences. Easily one of the funniest Thasmin fics out there; this is a good one to read when you want cheering-up.
You Have A Wife??? By LonelySpaceAce. Yaz asks the Doctor about something that she's been wondering about since they fought the Sea Devils. Rated G for General Audiences. This is written by one of my awesome Tumblr friends, so please check it out.
You Have Kids??? by LonelySpaceAce. Yaz learns that not all the Doctor's companions have been in love with them A sort of sequel to "you have a wife???”. Rated G for General Audiences. It also scratches my particular itch for having Thasmin with a side helping of Tegan/Nyssa.
(Un)familiar by EvvieJo. Yaz is trying to settle into her post-Doctor, UNIT life. Rated G for General Audiences. Less of a Thasmin fic per-say as opposed to a bit of closure for Yaz after leaving the Doctor, although it does have a lot of Thasmin elements to it.
The year of the cat by zurau. post-lotsd. thirteen disappears, again. a cat appears. it's some consolation. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Funny fic about a mysterious cat that appears whilst the Thirteen Doctor has disappeared; you can probably guess where this is going…
Candy Floss And A Carousel by 13beautifulghostmonument. Team TARDIS make a festive stop over in Cardiff. Yaz and the Doctor finally admit to their feelings. Rated G for General Audiences. Very cute and sweet.
Courage & Stupidity by seaunicorn. Yaz was his best friend and, much like the Doctor, Dan would do anything for her. Four years marooned in the past can forge quite the friendship, and he would go to great lengths to protect her from anything, or anyone, that hurt her. Including the Doctor herself. After Dan learns what happened on the beach, he confronts the Doctor. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Set after ‘Legend Of The Sea Devils’ and with some excellent character work.
giving up and giving in by seaunicorn. It takes Yaz almost dying for the Doctor to actually confront her feelings. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Really sweet fluff and first kiss stuff.
All The Time In The World by Metal_Gear_Steve. Yasmin has developed feelings for the Doctor, but she isn't sure how to bring this up with anyone. Ryan and Graham have settled after their first few crazy adventures, so it's not like she can rely on the "adrenaline and whimsy" excuse to explain her standoffish behavior forever - sooner or later, she has to bite the bullet and confess her feelings to the Doctor. But there's so much that she doesn't know about the Doctor, and any number of factors could get in the way of a potential relationship. Will Yasmin's confession be successful? Is there room in The Doctor's heart for a new love after a multitude of relationships, most ending in disaster? Will Graham get to try that alien ice cream again, with what's-its-name seeds in it? I guess we'll find out - we've got All the Time in the World. Rated G for General Audiences. Some really wonderful fluff; super sweet.
Our Moment on the Beach by docwhovians. When Yaz and the Doctor find themselves held prisoner a hostile pirate ship, there's not a whole lot they can do except talk. Feelings that have been brewing come to a head. When the moment is interrupted by an order to walk the plank, things get interesting. Rated G for General Audiences. Really cute fluff with some pirate stuff.
A Home For The Holidays by mag_lex. In which Yaz and the Doctor visit Yaz’s family for Christmas after the events of the Flux, and Najia decides to intervene when she realises something is going on between them… Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Sweet domestic fluff and a little bit of angst thrown in (since it is related to series 13 of the modern series).
i will always hold you close but i will learn to let you go by jodieoswald. Yaz listens to Dan's advice, and takes the leap, hoping that the Doctor will listen. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Angst with some fluff and a happy ending. Very sweet and tender.
The One With The Hen Do by isabrella. Yaz takes the Doctor to a friend's hen party to cheer her up. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Angst with a happy ending; very tender.
Confessions by SimpleSapphic. Set directly after Eve of the Daleks (and directly after thasmin becoming canon may I add akshakdhsksh), Dan does what Dan does best: he plays wingman to get those two to *finally* confess their feelings and actually do something about it. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. A fair bit of angst but with some really sweet fluff at the end. Gotta love wingman Dan!
The Lodger by bells_n_roses. The Doctor moves in with Yaz to investigate the mysterious upstairs lodger. As they spend more time together, however, feelings start to build. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Very cute and sweet, but with some mild angst mixed in.
I Still Burn For You by timelostdoctor. Yazmin Khan and the Doctor's relationship has been over for ten months. Ten months in which they haven't seen or spoken to each other. With Sonya and Ryan getting married, they are both part of the wedding party. How can they find happiness for their friends when they both wish it was their wedding instead. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Oooh, mate; this is one of the tenderest Thasmin fics I’ve ever read (complete with a human!Thirteenth Doctor); sweet with just the right mix of angst, and a good bit of humour as well! Always worth a read when you want something to get lost it (and, yes, I hope that Mandip Gill has read this one since she asked for fanfic recs).
Love is a lottery, and I’m betting on you by riptheh. The Doctor knows how it is with the female companions. Lived it dozens of times before. And this time, she's determined to make sure it doesn't happen. Or, five times the Doctor was so busy making sure Yasmin Khan didn't fall in love with her, she failed to realize that the opposite was happening. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Tons of fluff, mistaken-for-a-couple, bed sharing, this fic has it all!
February by softestbutch. The Doctor stepped a little closer, still partially obscured from view, still animated in the quiet orange glow. ‘Oh, it’s a little silly,’ she said. Yaz raised an eyebrow for her to continue. ‘I can go,’ she said, and Yaz breathed an endeared laugh.‘What is it, Doctor?’ she asked. A pause. ‘It’s snowing,’ the Doctor said. In short: the doctor is incredibly excited about the snow, and yaz is incredibly in love with her. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. A cute fluffy fic about Yaz and the Thirteenth Doctor having fun on a snowy day.
Live inside my mind forever by timelxrd. Yaz fell asleep precisely ten minutes and thirty-two seconds ago. The Doctor knows, because it’s been ten minutes and thirty seconds since she’d had to consciously regulate her breathing and the rise and fall of her chest against Yaz’s soft cheek so not to jostle her. Rated G for General Audiences. Cute fluff about cuddling and hair-plaiting.
A trusted place to rest by multifanwho. After she manages a prison break, the Doctor finds herself exhausted with her feet carrying her to the one place on Earth she feels most safe. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Fluff with a side ordering of angst.
Cuppa? by softly-penned-valkyrie (softly_speaking_valkyrie). The Doctor's slipping and she knows it. Everything's getting too much for the first time in thousands of years and she's finally having trouble coping with it mentally. How often does that happen? Following a double adventure involving the Judoon, incredible revelations and alien birds, it all becomes too much to handle, and when the TARDIS itself nudges at Yaz to go help the Doctor alone, it becomes a little too much for the copper too. But when the Doctor lands in Yaz's kitchen desperate for help, how can she refuse the woman she loves.... Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Fluff, hurt/comfort and some mild angst.
not-so-fake-feelings (and their very real consequences) by ActuallyMe. Yaz needs someone to pretend to be her partner whilst some really annoying family friends are in town. Turns out, the Thirteenth Doctor is happy to play along… Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Fake dating scenario, with some hilarious fluff.
astronomy in reverse (it was me who was discovered) by transboytwelve. Fake dating, bed-sharing, camping fic; Thirteen has to pretend to be Yaz’s partner for a family get-together. Hijinks and definitely-not-just-platonic confusion ensues. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences.
Around The Rink by sheregenerated. The Doctor and Yaz get a bit competitive, Graham has some cocoa, and Ryan rides a reindeer (sort of). Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Cute fluffy goodness.
The Changing of the Seasons by rubyofkukundu. The Doctor gets her first period. Thankfully, Yaz is on hand to help. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Fluff with a bit of hurt/comfort and humour.
Hooked on all these feelings by Moonlightkitten (orphan_account). In which Thirteen wants a set of earrings to match Yasmin's and won't take no for an answer. The only problem? She doesn't have pierced ears. Yet. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Very sweet and very funny. The person who wrote this has since orphaned their account.
Erlebnisse by Val_Creative. The Doctor surprises a very ill Yasmin with a visit. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Very cute and sweet.
I Met Her On The Beach by C1ashi1dr. While Graham and Ryan are taking a break from traveling, the Doctor and Yaz head for a relaxing day on the beach. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Some really lovely fluffy goodness.
Trick or Treat by HalfBakedPoet. What do the court of King Louis XIV, a futuristic pumpkin-based religion, a secret pumpkin carving society, and a two-person horse costume have in common? The Doctor and Yaz celebrate Halloween in a variety of ways. Apple bobbing ensues. Leads up to (presumably, hopefully) the beginning of Flux. Rated T for Teen and Up Audiences. Some fun Halloween fluff.
Hope you all enjoy these fics; I know I certainly did! Remember, if you enjoy a fic, please leave a comment; authors love it when we recieve comments and it inspires us to create more!
#fanfic recs#fanfiction recommendations#thasmin#doctor who#yasmin khan#yaz#thirteenth doctor#thasmin fanfiction#thasmin fanfic#yaz/thirteen#thirteen/yaz#thirteen x yaz#yaz x thirteen
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