#The Handler is also called the Handler because of the Handler from the Commission

[tiredsn0w]

*Five*-ay-eigh(ty)-two...

Working for secret organisations as an assassin...

Weirdly small...

Somewhat unemotional...

(in very early drafts) an ability to teleport...

I think my subconscious stole a character.

[jweekgoji]

Yandere!Five/Reader (platonic/headcanons)

the story contains: spoilers for season 4 (+ some changes in plot), yandere!five(-s), strictly platonic, five here is in his 20s (physically) and in his late 60s (mentally), overprotective old man five, soft yan!Five, OOC cuz it's yanderes 🤷

I really like to imagine Five being overprotective over someone young and still full of joy. You can be either a kid of one of his siblings, or just a random child he found during his time in The Commission. It wouldn't be that far away from reality, The Handler took little Lila and trained her to do the dirty job, no one would be surprised if that creepy woman ends up kidnapping another child born on October 1st for herself.

Either way, Five is a good familial figure. We all saw how he acts towards little Grace, making small cheering comments from time to time to his niece when she is enjoying her birthday party. I expect him to be much softer if it's someone who is always close to him and constantly tags along with Five. Let's say, he knows you enough to let you go with him at the end of Season 3, since all of his siblings left, he basically has no other choice but to be the only one who has to protect you.

At first, he might get a little irritated because of it. It's not because he finds you annoying or hates being around kids. The problem is, he is not a social person himself. He never had a proper childhood because he spent 45 years stuck in the apocalypse. Then his time in The Commission, stuck with people either invading his personal space, or always staring at him due to him being him. The man got no time for a good rest. He also got no experience in how he should take care of a kid.

Despite a good bag of problems on his back, like the fact that he is still considered a child himself because of his appearance, no job, no money, no place to stay, he somehow gets everything you need. It would probably cost him a lot of pride to sacrifice, people constantly saying «Aww, are you looking after your little sibling at such age? Where are your parents?» makes him want to say something snarky, but he would bite his tongue, since he doesn't want people to ask more questions. He is used to doing everything on his own, dealing with every trouble by no one but himself because it's how he got things done for ages. Not so surprising, Five is pretty good at it.

When he gets his job as a CIA agent, he does not get so much time to be with you, he's more busy even though he is «the one of the professional young agents», trying to investigate more and more. But I believe that he would absolutely think about you during his work, he would go nonchalantly in his mind «Should I buy them the cereal with that dumb colourful toy inside? No, that stuff has too much sugar for someone their age—», which is pretty ironic since Five has a little sweet tooth himself, knowing his famous toasts with peanut butter and marshmallows. He doesn't give you a chance to eat that stuff too much anyways, because he believes « You'll get to eat those when you grow older», while you probably pout and tug on his clothes, trying to make him share with you this tasty sweet thing with tons of deadly sugar! He will give up after a good 15 minutes of you jumping around, being noisy and whiney, so he would roll his eyes and give you like less than 1/3 of the toast, saying 'here is your half, happy now?🙄'. At least he managed to keep you quiet for some time, while he can focus on some little time of his rest.

Five wants you to be independent just like him. Mainly because he doesn't want to think about potential scenarios where you are without him, all defenseless and have no idea what to do. He will teach you everything, how to protect yourself, how to use the oven, who you should call immediately if something happens (he will probably write a phone number with a marker on your wrist, since kids tend to be forgetful and easily distracted and he does NOT take such a risk).

But Five would never push or press on you, he doesn't want to make another child assassin with childhood trauma, think of it as a grandfather taking you to the lake to teach you how to fish. He is constantly near your side, guiding gently but firmly, to you it's mostly about having fun but also learning new things. Five will praise you, give you some advice and will pet your head if you do something right. I do believe he is overprotective, that he doesn't want to even let you near anything dangerous, but he's also paranoid that if another apocalypse comes back, you should be able to survive.

When Five gets his powers back and reunites with his siblings, you will always be with him. Of course I can imagine him having a nanny to call so you would be away from all his family stuff and there is someone whom he can trust enough, but...he might trust himself more than anyone else (but also it's more interesting for the story than you being somewhere away from all the fun lol). When weird things start to happen, Five is looking for anyone even slightly suspicious. Why is this Elf Guy looking at him? Is that guy looking at YOU ? Stop looking at his kid!

Thankfully for him, you weren't around when Lila and Five stuck in that subway. But instead of spending years here, giving up on the idea of coming back home, that would never happen. Because come on, it's Five. He would never give up on coming back to his family and you, someone he also considers as a part of his family. Maybe they're not ideal, they might hate each other, sometimes even annoy him, but he would never allow himself at least a single minute of proper rest since he believes that his only priority is to come back to people he cares about.

The moment he finds the notes on how to come back, he will do it in an instant. When he sees his family safe - he is happy, even though he would hide his inner feelings. You're a little confused when he just hugs you tightly to his chest all of the sudden, sighing in relief the moment he realizes you're with him. Still the same little you, not a single change in your appearance. « Something happened?» you ask softly, carefully placing your arms around him. for some reason, it feels weird. he was never a person who could hug you just because he feels like it. the only time he might give you that it's only if you initiate it, needing comfort because you were afraid of storm or just woke up from the nightmare. « No, no, just stay like that for a little bit,» Five whispers, trying to calm his racing heart. he's thankful that this body at least can take all the stress he constantly experiences in his life. you are probably surprised and confused but he doesn't care about it now. he just came back to you after years of being apart. at least for him it was, for you — a few hours. Despite how unusual it makes you feel, you don't question it, you will give him all the comfort he deserves after whatever he went through.

A good happy ending we deserve would probably be Five (accidentally) taking you to this buffet full of his other versions. You're probably so shy and awkward to see all of them, so you stick closer to him, holding his hand. Five is a little more protective too, he doesn't trust his other selves as we know. I can imagine a little you being so scared to even make a single move, because the moment you look away, you might get lost! Is that your Five? Or is it the one who's near the other table? Why is that Five drunk? When did he find the apron?? But all of them are very nice to you. Five who works as a waiter would gladly help you to find your guardian and maybe he'll spoil you with food they serve here— Your Five is definitely not happy with how much attention you gain from.. other versions of him, but he knows that they all care the same of you.

[lookingforhappy]

Five should never have been with the CIA, he should have been with the Keepers

the CIA is incredibly reminiscent of the Commission, the thing that Five has been trying to escape since s1, and that has repeatedly dehumanised, manipulated and hurt him.

not only is it a secret organisation that aids in the manpiluatation of the lives of others by a higher power but he is also constantly monitored, with and without his knowledge -

he has to report to his boss, he is constantly followed/attended to by Derek (who is lightly implied to also be a keeper), and the keepers are undoubtedly reporting back to his boss to keep him in line without his knowledge.

(just look at how many are keepers.. thats insane for Five not to have noticed anything after spending so long in the commission on high alert - what happened to him always checking the surroundings first??)

sounds similar to him having to report the handler, constantly being followed by her (into the bathroom, the tube room, etc) and always being watched by the infinite switchboard and his tracker.

there's also the "Five is one of the top agents at this secret and shady org. and Diego is the butt of the joke because he wants what Five has and Five won't give it to him & when he does get it it's a comedy scene" thing.

which is honestly just another nail in the "cia is too similar to the commission to be comfortable for five" coffin for me..

he is also constantly referred to as "Mr. Five" a name that is only ever seen used by the Commission,

and which is supposed to show the Commission's false respect for Five by tacking a "Mr." onto his name while also refusing to add on a surname (Hargreeves) - or in the circumstance that Five doesn't accept a last name, then addressing him by his full name "Number Five" or "00.05" or just "5" - which dehumanises and detaches him from his family aka his reason for leaving.

Five also calling his boss "sir" is incredibly out of character as at no point in the series has he called anyone by a honorific, not the Handler, not his father, and especially not someone younger than him.

and also that he calls the cia director (lance ribbons) "boss"

like not even "my boss" or "the boss"... just "boss". it just feels like such a young mans word, which Five decidedly is not. if i had to pick how he would address ribbons id have him say "ribbons", "director" or maybe "director ribbons" if he was in a formal situation. never "sir" or "boss"

There's Five adapting to the timeline/circumstance and then theres Five's entire personality changing.

and honestly, if this is a survival technique for Five in this timeline, to play into his apparent youth, then why not show that?? or even explore it in a more interesting way like how the comics had him disguise as a kid with a backpack, bike and binoculars???

instead they kept giving him stupid little props that only served to further hammer in the obvious "hey! five works for the cia now!"

all it does is make him look ridiculous, and i know that five is holding the gun and torch in the correct way but god it makes him look like such a cop. and after hes been fighting authority for his entire life it feels so fucking weird.

what's interesting though, is that he would have fit in fine with the Keepers! and we see this demonstrated perfectly in their first scene

just.. the way that perfectly sums up Five.. plus our concerns that he wouldn't have anything to do after the apocalypses are solved and aidan's comments that Five was feeling like he had nothing left/suicidal.. for there to be a group of other people that not only believe him but support him unconditionally?

(aaand im out of pictures... great)

for Five to be able to say this to other people? and to not be thought of as insane?? thats big.

and then for Five to be hinted at not keeping up with his siblings aside from Diego - the deleted scene with Klaus at the party shows that Five doesn't know how long Klaus' been sober for, he also asks Luther where Viktor is, clearly hasn't seen Allison or Ben in a while.. it's all such a perfect set up for Five to join the keepers.

and not only does this set him up with other people, in a support group setting. but it also perfectly sets up his arc to have conflict with his siblings without losing their trust (sorry fivela stans but i cant get on board bc it destroys his relationships with the family).

while Viktor was negotiating with Ben, the others could have been negotiating with Five. which would have brought us full circle, of five disappearing and fighting like hell to get back home, to returning but not feeling like he belongs, to being brought back into the fold. this is also the perfect opportunity to bring Lila in, as she would have the best understanding of where he stands after being manipulated by the commission.

it's also the perfect opportunity to have Five cause the apocalypse, instead of save it. people have talked about Five being set up to cause the next one since forever, and Klaus has a perfect set up for it too.

I personally think that each season should have rotated who causes the apocalypse instead of randomly making it Viktor's fault. this way we could explore the siblings individually and their trauma and recovery. give them all a seasons worth of focus.

season 1 gave us Viktor's apocalypse.

season 2 should have given us Diego's via JFK's survival causing the apocalypse (exploring his hero complex and how his ignoring his family in favour of pursuing his own ego/comfort isn't good for anyone etc)

season 3 should have been Allison's via her desperation to get Claire back - the kugelblitz shouldn't exist (because it doesnt work with the established laws of space time) but instead her deal with Reginald should have caused the apocalypse maybe as a way to motivate the others like Five into finding a solution.

season 4 can still be Ben's but ultimately for the final season it should have been a joint effort or at least come full circle and actually been impactful with more connections to Ben's death instead of the 2 second reveal of him getting shot in the most anticlimatic and confusing reveal i have ever seen. Ben has literally haunted the narrative for 4 seasons, between his death being the reason they disband, to his ghost being the reason they survive at the end of s1 and s2, and his alternate reality self in s3 and s4. he didn't get the send off he deserved for someone who has influenced near everything in the show.

there should have been 8 seasons - 7 to deal with the issues of the individuals, and 1 to deal with their recovery as a group, almost acting as an epilogue.

instead we got 4 poorly planned and incomplete seasons..

anyway, thats what i think Five should have been doing this season, not joining the CIA

[clementineofmine]

I'm sitting here rewatching Tua S3 for reasons, and one interesting thing I picked up is that the entire season is really just each of the Umbrellas struggling to define and searching for family in their own way. Here's me laying down some thoughts for y'all:

Luther - For him, family has always been about the team. That's part of the reason he's so drawn to the Sparrows, bc at first they seem to have the cohesiveness that the Umbrellas lacked. Remember, Luther was the last one left at the Academy, then Reginald sent him to the moon alone. So of course seeing a "functional" team is going to be compelling for him, and he desperately wants to be part of it. And then he and Sloane quickly fall in love and for the first time in his entire life, someone wants him for him. It's intoxicating and utterly consuming NRE that is more powerful than anything he's ever felt.

Diego and Lila - For these two, it's about figuring out how to be a family. Both together, but also a little bit with the other Umbrellas. Diego looking out for Allison and Klaus and Lila and Five coming to a truce are part of this - more about Lila and Five in a sec.

Allison - In her mind, her family is Claire and Ray. This one is obvious, but I also think that the writers did us a disservice by not letting us into Allison's perspective. If you think about it, it's completely normal for a parent to put their child above all. While I don't defend her actions, her motivation could have been more compelling and it would have strengthened her character. But sadly she's the character on the show that is most "othered" (which is bad for many reasons)

Klaus - he really dug deep into individual relationships w family, starting with Five (e2 and 5 Five and Klaus bonding are still some of the best bits of the season imo), Diego, Reginald, Sparrow Ben, and then Luther in the afterlife.

Five - Five remains a pragmatist. His bar for family is very low - success for him means the Umbrellas being alive, no matter what the personal cost or sacrifice to him or to some extent others. It is somewhat depressingly delightful to see how he makes his peace with the end of the world as the season progresses. Before that, however, I'd like to meander back to e3 and 4 where Lila convinces him to electrocute himself and then they go on the Commission mission. Both of the actors do a fine job here bouncing back and forth between witty banter and genuine emotion and I love it. It's a quick and subtle piece of dialogue when Five explains how he saved Lila from the Handler. The undertone is that they were both abused by that woman in a similar way - ultimately, she developed and kept them both as pawns in her own game. And I think Five, starting in S2E10 and fleshed out through S3, develops genuine empathy for and eventually acceptance of Lila as family, as one of them, because of this shared experience.

Viktor - Like Viktor in all seasons, he continues to feel out of place with the Umbrellas and compensates by over-prioritizing his relationships with others. Don't get me wrong, I do empathize with him that he lost real love with Sissy and Halan, but I also think Allison was 100% valid to call him out on his lying in E6, and it was on point to verbalize how the constant focus on Viktors pain minimizes her (and everyone else's) experience. (Edit to add: Viktor finally seems to get the message on this, after being called out by Allison, then subsequently both Sparrow Ben and Five, and spends the last few episodes trying to make amends. Real character development here and I like to see it)

Reginald - Well, his overarching motivation since S1 has always been bringing back his dead wife, so I won't belabor that, but also it's interesting to see how he interacted with Klaus particularly - esp in E7 when he sobers up it seems he is experimenting with remembering his role as a father. Now we don't get a ton about his internal motivation here, but you can tell there is some mild curiosity, if not affection, for Klaus, despite the fact that he ultimately is cool with sacrificing him.

Some of these are more obvious than others, but when you tie them all together, the idea that they are all desperately looking for family and the blind spots that that creates for them, some of the messiness of S3 starts to make a bit more sense.

[fivelila]

Did Five love Lila before the subway?

Well, this is a question only he knows the answer to, but today I found myself reflecting on a few scenes, and I want to share my thoughts and observations with you...

Season 2

At first, Five pretty much ignored Lila, seeing her merely as Diego's girlfriend from the mental hospital. Later, he sensed she might be lying about who she really was. In the scene where she saves him from the Swede, his expression clearly shows he’s surprised. I think that’s the moment she genuinely caught his attention—for the first time. Of course, his caution won out, and he kept an even closer eye on her. Still, I believe this was a pivotal moment.

During their first fight, Five was clearly the superior one and could have won easily. However, his triumphant gaze at her held something else: he was enjoying it. I think he found her challenging and intriguing, which drew him in.

Five bluntly tells Diego the truth about Lila, even though he sees how hurt Diego is. He throws it in his face, emphasizing that he himself is the reason they got together (more on this in Season 3).

The second fight is far more intense, with Lila determined to kill him. At this point, Five likely believed she was just another tool of the Handler and saw her as a threat he’d eliminate if necessary.

When he learns the truth about her parents, his reaction shows genuine shock. He realizes she has personal, valid reasons for targeting him. This revelation shifts his perspective; from this point, I believe he no longer truly wants to harm her.

Season 3

When Five discovers Lila has returned, she’s the only one he wants to partner with. Yes, he values her skills, but was that the only reason? I think he also wanted her company.

The bathroom scene is a chapter of its own. He must have known she was still angry with him. In this fight, it feels like Five is more focused on defending himself than actually attacking her. When Lila calls it off, he stops immediately and engages with her about the situation. This scene feels like a way to clear the air between them. And honestly, barging into someone’s bathroom isn’t exactly normal behavior—he was really asking for it. And that stance of his while talking to her? Well…

Later, when they argue, Five tells her Diego probably truly loves her. This moment stands out. Was he doing it for Diego? I don’t think so. He likely suspected "her son" might be part of her revenge plan, but why bring up Diego’s feelings? In Season 2, he didn’t seem interested in matchmaking for Diego. Could it have been for himself? To stop Lila from leaving later? Perhaps he knew the only reason she might stay was Diego.

Five understands that, because of her parents, Diego, and his own age issue, he didn’t stand a chance with her at that time. If she left, he might never see her again (I doubt he guessed she was pregnant). Reconciling her with Diego was likely the only way to keep her around. Or perhaps reflecting his own (burgeoning / unacknowledged) feelings?

At the Commission, when Lila leaves the bunker, Five glances at her in a way that suggests he doesn’t want the world to end—partly because that would mean losing her, too.

Later on, it's just small moments, but still iconic, like their dance and the apparent shift towards a truce between them.

Season 4

After six years, we don’t know much about how often Five and Lila saw each other. But given their somewhat normal lives, it likely happened a few times. Even though the first episode of the season makes it seem like most of the characters haven't seen each other in years, presenting some information in the style of family members interacting for the first time in years (well, it wasn't happily done).

The banter between Lila and Five persists, but there’s also trust. Once again, it’s just the two of them teaming up for a new mission. It’s clear by now that he genuinely cares about her and wants to protect her.

When Five talks to Diego about burying something deep and pouring concrete over it, it feels personal. What could he be referring to more than his soft spot for Diego’s wife? He also talks about Lila not giving up what she has - as if he had thought about it before.

He also agrees to her crazy idea. As in Season 3, he likely saw it as an opportunity to spend more time with her while solving mysteries.

And the subway? We all know. Only a blind person wouldn’t see that Five had fallen completely in love with her during those years. Despite the insane situation, he looked happier than ever. His smiles were genuine... and so were his glances at Lila.

So... When did he fall in love with Lila?

I think, It likely built up over time, like a snowball rolling downhill, starting from the very beginning. But the subway gave him the chance to fully embrace those feelings, and their greenhouse gave him the courage to act on them.

What do you think?

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: Several sets of drawings from the TUA Paranatural au, drawn in a style resembling Paranatural's.

The first are two drawings ofLila as an adult; one in casual clothes and short partially bleached hair from season one; and the other in a commission-style suit with two long braids.

The second is a very sketchy comic. Klaus asks, "You're MARRIED??? To a WOMAN?" and then continues, "Wait Five, are you straight??" Five, looking disgruntled, replies, "Oh my fucking god Klaus." Later, Five lies on the floor and googles "Are you still straight if your wife is a centipede."

The third is a pair of drawings of the Handler harassing Five; the first ten years before the second. In the first, Five is a teenager and the Handler has long hair and is wearing a suit. She is pinching his cheek. In the second, Five is an adult and the Handler now has short hair and is wearing a gown. She is booping his nose.

The last is a set of drawings of @sharkneto's oc's from his series Holding It Together; Sarah, Amanda, and Rob. Sarah is checking her phone, Amanda is holding a piece of chalk, and Rob looks spooked and is saying "...Ghosts?" End ID.]

i call this the Paranatural Au: Dubiously Canonical Edition

aka over the course of drawing this au ive accumulated stuff that isnt super canonical, or is out of date, or is just. too dumb. to really post on its own, so i decided to toss them all together in one go!

the ID is long so the context is going under the cut

the adult lila designs are from when i wasn't sure what exactly i was going to do with her, whether she would be a kid or an adult. Now that i've decided she's twelve like most of the rest of the cast, this design is noncanonical but i do still think it was fun!

five being harassed by the handler isnt *precisely* noncanonical, but in the absence of the crazy assassin skills/wanting to kill her combo, she probably wouldn't be as fixated on him. Like, thats not a hyper successful assassin she can match wits with, thats a teenager. who gives a shit about teenagers.

The idea behind her outfits is that ten years ago the handler wasn't as high up so she had to wear a suit jacket like everyone else, but now that shes been promoted a few times she can wear whatever she wants.

the comic is a really stupid idea i had the other day that i decided to make into reality because i have infinite power to make any image i want. it's really dumb tho. also ftr my five is always aroace, but if he weren't aroace then being attracted to a sapient centipede monster with no human features is. Not straight. its not gay or bi tho either it's.... Something Else Other Than That.

also, i drew sharkneto's ocs because, once again, i have infinite power to make any image a reality. i havent decided yet if theyre canon, but if they are, then amanda teaches physics (i guess this is a middle school? so actually shes probably just a general science teacher lmao. but her year focuses on physics), sarah is a professor at a nearby college, and rob is the school counselor. (sorry guys yall are demoted, but its just because this is effectively a middle school au). also, none of them can see ghosts but are aware they exist, although i did kick around the idea of one of them developing that ability later (not rob). unless sharkneto has notes about all that lol

[blindbeta]

hi! i'm currently writing a blind character in a futuristic sci-fi setting (think fifth element). some backstory just so there's additional context: she's orphaned as a baby, and while very young, contracts a virus that leaves her with minimal light and shadow perception. she later gets adopted, and her father acts as her guide until she's 12. when she turns 12, she's gifted a droid who acts as her mobility aid (visually, her droid is similar in design/size of r2-d2 from star wars). i thought this fit the futuristic setting. here's my question. originally, i had her (let's call her C) commission a special pair of glasses that connect to her droid so it can see what she sees and better help it guide her in public spaces, especially if it's too loud for her to hear it or if they get separated somehow, because the glasses have an auditory link for them to communicate with each other. after doing more research, i've learned that the "blind character covering their eyes" trope is super common and kind of looked down upon in the blind community. i'm really worried now, as someone sighted, that i've fallen for it by designing C's mobility aid this way. have i? and if i have, what is some advice or tips for ways i could alter this to where it doesn't come across as trope-y? should i get rid of the glasses, scrap the droid idea completely, etc?

Guide Droid And Character Covering Her Eyes With Glasses

The glasses remind me a bit of the OrCam My Eye, which is a pair glasses and an ear piece. You have an already-existing precedent for this. Additionally, my main concern with covering eyes, which I discuss here, [link], is that there is often no thought or explanation behind why a character’s eyes must be covered. Narratives often twist themselves into knots simply to cover a blind person’s eyes with something like sunglasses or a blindfold, which the character never removes.

Regular glasses are, however, a different story. Regular glasses are transparent. They are usually for protection of the eyes. They may also make objects slightly clearer, which can reduce eye strain. Not that your character will need to worry about that.

The glasses are not able to correct vision. They serve a purpose, and one that isn’t covering the person’s eyes.

My suggestion is to provide an explanation for the glasses and make sure they are see-through. They shouldn’t be sunglasses unless she has transition lenses, which can protect her from damaging UV rays.

The key is not to cover up your character’s eyes. Especially for no particular reason.

However, if you are worried about the glasses, you can also simply have bone-conducting ear piece that sits on top of her ear. Avoid implants or anything that might disrupt her hearing or other senses.

The Guide Droid

Speaking of senses, having a droid as her guide means she will miss out on a lot of tactile information provided by a cane and, to a lesser extent, a guide dog. For example, a handler can feel elevation.

Walking behind a droid is not going to provide that same information.

Yes, there is a step down, but where? Is it an even step or does it curve? Are the steps the same width?

I suggest giving her a cane, as they can be used with sighted guide and to a lesser degree, service animals. Her using a cane won’t interfere with a droid the same way it might with a guide dog or horse.

Alternatively, you can also find a way to connect them so she can get tactile information. Another, cuter option might be a droid service animal with a more futuristic harness.

About Using Sighted Guide Until She is 12

Something about this bothers me.

Sighted guide is a legitimate form of O&M and can increase independence in a way only blind folks can relate to. I also know that sighted guide may be more encouraged in some cultures that value interdependence. Sighted guide is a great and should be used more in fiction. I personally prefer it in unfamiliar areas and at night time.

However, it also feels off to me that she so happens to use a human guide all her life and not a cane. It may be because I am imagining times where her father may not be able to accompany her. Or perhaps I am sensitive to the lack of mobility aids in fiction that feature blind characters.

Lastly, cane skills are a part of O&M, which is needed before being able to work properly with a guide animal. I think she should have at least some cane skills and some navigation techniques even if she prefers to have her father guide her. This also gives her more agency to experiment and choose what is comfortable for her.

Here is a post I made about mobility aids that might help.

I hope this helps.

[where-dreams-dwell]

**** Spoilers for TUA S4 ****

My frustration with the Lila/5 plot in S4 is that they had such a complex and layered relationship already, developed across S2+3 and which truly felt earned by the time we rejoin them in S4. Why would you ruin that by introducing romance?

Lila and 5 have always had a fascinating relationship, mirroring one another and matching one another in a way no other character’s can.

Lila is the only other character to have lived, worked in and experienced the Commission and to therefore know how 5 thinks and operates because of it. Similarity 5 was also once the tool of the Handler, used to do her dirty work and to be wielded against her enemies for her own interests. Lila was in many ways 5’s replacement; the Handler decided to raise her from a child so she would be more malleable and easy to groom in comparison to 5 who was a grown man with trauma from decades of isolation when she recruited him.

Even in this they are mirrored: 5 would definitely see similarities in the Handlers parental manipulation to Sir Reginald’s brand of parenting. Both parents out for their own interests and keen to have superpowered children to deploy as and when they wish.

In S2 once both of them are aware who the other is and how powerful they are, their interactions show their balanced nature. They meet one another punch for punch, witty quip for witty quip. Lila’s powered aids in this as she is literally using 5’s own ability to fight him: visually they are mirrors of one another through that fight scene, through to the end of the season. Lila is the only character we’ve seen able to fight 5 to a standstill for any period of time.

Then throughout S3 we see their relationship develop from grudging acceptance via the proxy of Diageo (she’s my brothers girlfriend vs he’s my boyfriends brother) to actual reliance upon one another. By the end of S4 they acknowledge and appreciate one another’s strengths and truly feel like sibilings in their bantering and teasing relationship. 5 actually calls her family, and Lila’s behaviour towards him becomes familial: ruffling hair, teasing, dancing alongside them all.

There would have been such opportunity for more growth in the subway if they kept it platonic.

Let’s dive into 5’s trauma-bonding to Delores due to lack of human contact; Lila takes up drawing and paints a mural of Diageo and her children, which she talks to every evening. It starts as something funny and to poke fun at their situation but she confesses to 5 that she’s actually come to rely on it, imagining their responses to her questions and guessing what their life has been without her. 5 has the opportunity to be honest about Delores and his love for her; he knows she’s a manaquin but

Have them bond over abusive narcissistic parents: Sir Reginald and the Chairwoman had a lot in common, how is Lila dealing with that as a mother now herself? They grew up running training drills and completing missions: stuck on their own they probably would create obstical courses of doom and fight one another for first place.

Let’s fucking talk about 5’s clear trauma from his first isolation: the poor guy was alone for 40 years with no one, and as a result he put his sibling bond upon a pedestal and risked everything to save their lives. This continues through multiple timelines and in the face of all their shenanigans, even when they are foiling his own plans; through it all 5 will defend his siblings at the expense of anything and everything else. This trauma-bonding to his siblings, when he’s been separated from them for twice as long as he was with them, shows the lasting impact of this isolation on his ability to form relationships or let relationships end. Now he’s once again separated from them; he’s probably going to be bouncing off of the walls about that, and it would be fun to watch.

Plus being on his own again?! Let’s have 5 rage at Lila about it, break down and despair over having to do this all over again. This time he has Lila to talk to but he’s still trapped in a version of his own personal nightmare. The whole attempt to save his family must feel completely useless because here is is again, at the end of the world, alone and without his family.

The plot wouldn’t have had to be changed much at all and we would have gotten fantastic character exploration, and more of the sibling bonding moments that are so key to carrying the show through its more ridiculous or fantastical moments.

On top of all of this one of the key characteristics of 5 and one of his main motivations is his love for his family and his need to protect them. He’s lied, betrayed and murdered people in cold blood all in the name of familial love. Why *on earth* would a character with that history ever consider a romance with his brothers wife and the mother of his brothers children?! Are they trying to argue that if Sloan has been able to come with them after the reset and it was her who was trapped with 5 for all those years, then he would have started something with her too? That goes against a core tenant of his character and is a bridge he just wouldn’t cross no matter how alone he felt.

And why does this character just *have* to have a romantic love plot when their entire character arc across 4 seasons has been about their devotion? Whether devoted to their siblings or their ‘manaquin-love’ coping mechanism, 5’s actions have always been to protect the people he loves.

Calling any of these characters stories lacking because the love wasn’t romantic shows how little the writers understand their own story. Nothing felt missing or absent from 5’s character, and their actions have always fit into the wider show narrative that love makes you do crazy things. Whether it’s Alison’s devolution to Claire, Sir Reginald’s devotion to Alyssa, of 5’s devotion for Delores The Umbrella Academy is united and driven by love.

[mkcannothelpyou]

Mission: Buy the Armored Core VI Blu-rays

1. "621. Here's a request from a friend. Street dates for the Armored Core VI Blu-rays are in. Volume 1 includes Episodes 1 and 2. Deluxe Limited Edition packs in a bonus novella, if you wanted to know how G4 and G5 ended up in the Redguns. Audio commentary from me and Michigan too. Bring it home, 621."

2. "This is V.II Snail. I am commissioning you for this request—consider it a privilege. Having been favorably received, Volume 2 of the Armored Core VI Blu-rays is now available for reservation. Episodes 3 and 4 detail the events up to and including Operation Wallclimber. Packaged as a bonus is a novella that lays bare V.IV's induction into the Vesper Squad, as well as some of the meager deaths of Walter's mutts. Proof of your ability is on the line—you will not return empty-handed."

3. "Raven, it's me. Volume 3 of the Armored Core VI Blu-rays is going on sale. That means Episodes 5 and 6, where you take on the Watchpoint. I've looked into the bonuses. There's a novella in this one covering the Fires of Ibis, and a report on Dolmayan. I don't have any funds with which to buy it... Would you preorder it for me?"

4. "Tourist. This is "Chatty" Stick from RaD. There is a date set for Volume 4 of the Armored Core VI Blu-rays, which has made the boss very happy. Episodes 7 and 8 will cover the Crossing. There is a novella about how the boss created me, and a bonus CD of Arquebus and Balam corporate anthems. That's all I had to say. Later, tourist. "

5. "Hey, buddy. V.IV Rusty here. They just announced a date for Volume 5 of the Armored Core VI Blu-rays. That's Episodes 9 and 10, but word is they're going deluxe—a fresh cut of Episode 11, the one where we down the Ice Worm. Still going strong with the bonuses, too—a spin-off courtesy of Arquebus PR's radio station... one whole hour of Vespers VS. Redguns on CD. Don't miss out on it, buddy."

6. "Hey, tourist. It's your old friend, "Cinder" Carla of RaD. Looks like they're pushing out Volume 6 of the Armored Core VI Blu-rays. They're capping this one with the special where you intercept the Redguns. And hey, the viewers didn't vote for it, but someone up there loves us, because they're throwing in the alternate ending too. Chatty, boot up the ACs! Something tells me we're gonna go shopping!"

7. "V.II Snail, come in! This is V.VI Maeterlinck! They've gotten too lavish with Volume 7 of the Armored Core VI Blu-rays! On top of Episode 13, they've brought out a reveal-all OVA about the formation of Overseer, and a top-secret Institute report from Professor Nagai! They even have a CD where Handler Walter sings for the Episode 13 ending theme!? Requesting backup, stat!"

8. "Guess who's calling, tourist. Listen to your lucky numbers—Armored Core VI Season 2, Boxset 1, coming to stores. Sounds like they've got Episodes 1 through 4 in the "Fires of Raven" arc. Bonuses are... an old diary written by that little Ayre interloper, and a drama CD they're calling "MIND α, Release Phase 1". Happy face, tourist! Let's have ourselves the last laugh!"

9. "Hey, buddy. V.IV Rusty here. Just got a message about Armored Core VI Season 2—they're readying to sell Boxset 2. Contents are Episodes 1 to 4 of the "Liberator of Rubicon" arc. They're packing an Alternate Limited Edition with a figure of STEEL HAZE ORTUS. Your ideals brought cinders to life in the production team. I'm moving out to preorder, buddy."

10. One new message. "Rb23, independent mercenary Raven. Armored Core VI: The Movie -Alea iacta est- is now on streaming services. A UHD-BD, containing audio commentary by myself and Ayre, a CD of the main theme as sung by Ayre and ALLMIND, and a storyboard collection, is also available for purchase. This ending exists for all mercenaries."

[sparkles-and-trash]

When Keigo was 16 he kept getting in trouble with his handler at the Commission and gets sent to «voulenteer» at an animal shelter.

It started when he pierced his own ears, then he dyed his hair bright red to match his wings, and when he finally got busted reading files he had no business reading his handler put their foot down.

However, Keigo was rarely allowed outside of the Commission on his own, and secretley he looked forwards to a few hours without handlers and in company of some cute animals.

He hadn’t had the chance to meet many, but he goes in with a positive attitude as always!

What he didn’t expect was just how freaking attached he would get to the little creatures.

Not just the cute puppies and kittens, but the wildlife ones who were there for treatment as well.

He cried for the first time in years when he and the vet running the shelter released a now healthy possum that he’d gotten especially attached to.

After a while Keigo was allowed to run the night shift himself, as there was nothing to do besides keeping watch, and Keigo were just two years away from being a full fledged pro hero anyways.

He’s a little nervous the first night, but he truly has no reason to, because it all goes well.

Until there is a president knock on the door, that is.

Keigo knows there could be people coming in with animals all times of the night, so he sharpens a feather and carefully opens the door to peek out.

It’s hard to see the person outside properly because of the rain and the dark, but it’s clear that whoever it is isn’t bigger than Keigo, and is holding something gently in his arms, so Keigo opens the door.

The person stumbles inside on shaky legs, and Keigo is shocked to see it’s a boy, probably around his own age, gently cradling what looks a lot like a baby racoon.

The boy himself is wearing a oversized, ragged, and most of all wet hoodie, and his skin is shockingly pale, his turquoise eyes standing out in stark contrast to his pale skin and white hair.

He was kinda really pretty.

Also really skinny, pale and shaky, but most of all, pretty.

After a little back and fourth between them, mostly consisting of Keigo trying to understand the pretty boy’s raspy, quiet voice, but after a while Keigo has the raccoon in a warm and safe cage and have called the owner of the shelter.

Just as he’s about to turn around and thank the stranger, he realizes with a sinking feeling that the boy has already left.

Luckily, it doesn’t take that long until Keigo gets a second chance.

Two nights later, a familiar knock on the door makes Keigo’s wings fluff up and he excitedly runs for the door.

Once again the pretty boy is standing there, this time he’s carrying a small cardboard box filled with way too young kittens.

«Someone just left them,» the boy says in that quiet voice of his, and Keigo’s heart squeezes.

«I got it,» Keigo say with as much reassurance he could muster, and as he took the box from the boy he noticed just how thin and freezing his hands were.

Keigo had a feeling the boy wasn’t keen on accepting any charity, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare him off again, but luckily he thinks quick.

«Could you help me with them? Just for a few hours!»

The boy looks startled, but after a few beats he finally nods.

So together, the boys carefully warm up the tiny kittens, feed them some bottled milk, and make sure there’s no visible injuries on them.

When the sun starts rising, the boy gets antsy, and Keigo tells him it’s okay if he needs to leave.

«I could use your help again tonight you know?» Keigo adds shyly as they’re about to part in the doorway.

The boy looked up trough his fringe, meeting Keigo’s eyes straight on.

«Really?»

Keigo smiled.

«Yeah! They’re a lot of work, and it gets really lonley here at night anyways.»

The boy nodded slowly.

«I’ll try my best,» he said hoarsly, and Keigo nodded.

«One last thing?» Keigo added nervously.

«Yeah?» the boy asked, already halfway out the door.

«What’s your name?»

The boy looked paniced for a second, before he whispered the answer.

«It’s Touya.»

Keigo beamed.

«Cool! I’m Keigo!»

Touya actually smiled a little at that.

«Yeah, you told me that already Birdie.»

Keigo blushed and ran a hand trough his hair.

«Heh. Right.»

Touya smiled shyly before he dissapeared into the first signs of dusk.

Keigo was already looking forward to the next night shift.

For the next few weeks the boys kept this little routine up.

Keigo would sneaking buy some takeout and insist he got too much and didn’t want to throw out the leftovers, and Touya would pretend to believe him.

They would talk about very light and unpersonal topics, but they still get to know each other slowly, and get more comfortable around each other as they work with the kittens together.

When Keigo’s voulenteer period is close to ending, he’s real sad about it.

He tried to beg his handler for more time there, but the upper heads of the Commission flat out refuse.

Keigo hated himself for waiting until the last night to tell Touya. He was such a chickenshit.

He hates himself even more when he finds a letter on the doorstep when he arrives.

The tattered envelope only has one word on it.

«Birdie ~»

Keigo takes a deep breath, and opens the letter.

«Hey Birdie.

I’m so sorry for leaving this way.

I know you know my situation better than you want to admit, and you probably know that it’s a risky one.

I won’t tell you much, for your own sake, but I needed to say thank you.

For treating me like a person, and for pretending like you didn’t know I was starving, or that I needed a safe place to spend the nights.

I’ll never forget your kindness Birdie.

- T»

Keigo’s heart breaks for a million reasons that night, for the boy without a home, for the friend lost, and for the death of the warm feelings he’d been experiencing for the first time.

For the next two years Keigo kept that letter with him, the memories of the pale boy with the pretty eyes who was his first real friend one of the reasons he got trough the last gruelig years of Commission training and hero prepping.

A bit ironic, all things considering, but Keigo had no way of knowing that, yet.

Yet.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ok just imagine things from Hawks perspective. Another day in hell, when he hears a commotion echo through the halls. When he sends feathers to investigate all he feels is fire, smoke, and heat. When he investigates further, he sees Endeavor standing over the charred body of his handler. He hated the handler, but he can't help but make a noise at the scene. Endeavor swivels his head and his face scrunches up in confusion, before switching to understanding, to again switching to a haunted fury. He hears Endeavor murmur under his breath "fuck there's another" before he slowly approaches. "I'm Endeavor. And I'm here to get you out of here." At those words he feels his body release like a puppet with cut strings. He just collapses in Endeavor's arms, he could be more graceful about it but. His hero came back to save him again. He hopes this time things will be different.

YEaH IT

so it

this got long rip

So Jetsetter's friend in the Commission is an OC I've mentioned before (he actually appeared in Road to Hell already), which is Aokawa Akashi.

Akashi's job, among other things like info-gathering and recruitment, is that he's one of the various handlers for Lady Nagant and Hawks.

and if you remember the last time I brought him up, there's a /reason/ he and Jetsetter are friends.

anyway!

In both the au and mainline!CC, Toya knows about him. Which really cements in his mind on how corrupt Heroes and the Commission and the system as a whole was.

So with Dark Comedy, Toya would tell Enji about that whole situation. Why he doesn't think just reporting Jetsetter would work. and Enji's already planning the 'if reporting didn't work I'm killing him' thing so one more of the same monster isn't out of the realm of possibility. (Especially because it's likely the Commission would throw Jetsetter under the bus to save Akashi because he's more useful.)

as much as Enji wants to go in guns blazing, he is smart. He's gotta make sure he can commit two murders /and get away with it/. Having a friend willing to give you an alibi doesn't mean jack shit if the cops can find any proof he wasn't where he says he was.

So he has to plan and that involves observing and.....

Yeah he finds out about Hawks who. again at this point is only 16. But Enji does remember him from before and Enji doesn't know all the details but clearly this is some kind of Hell so he looks into it more to make sure he can deal with things in a way he can get away with and....

He finds out that Hawks isn't supposed to exist right now. Like, legally. This is actually also a plot in CC but I'll go into that later.

But like. "Keigo Takami" isn't supposed to be on record. The Commission thinks he isn't. Because like hell would his parents have reported his birth or anything. and if the Commission just takes him, no one will know. But they haven't yet given him a new legal identity yet(they're waiting until they can give him his debut as a Hero).

Except 'Keigo' does exist on paper. It was just an oversight. Something Enji didn't realize he was helping with. But in arresting the kid's dad for *gestures* and he and his mom also got brought in custody, there was enough paperwork done. The kid was supposed to be handed to social services, so they were already filing paperwork for a late-made birth certificate.

It's not a lot but it's enough. 'Keigo' exists. But there's nothing more, no claim of where he is, what happened, who his guardians are.

It's so easy to just. File some paperwork. Oh hey Enji has custody now would you look at that? and it's not like the Commission can fight the claim, as they have no record of the child or any other identity or claim of custody.

The question is just being able to get anyone alone without being seen which. Works. In the fact that Keigo and Akashi have to be alone together at some point. which. OOF.

So yeah just a matter of waiting until they're alone. Enji very quickly grabbing Akashi by the throat to keep him from calling for help. Trying his hardest to not scare the child. Promises he'll be safe. Tells him to go to his room and grab anything he wants to take with him.

If it were anyone other than Endeavor, Keigo would've thought it was a test. Would've thought the point was to either fight back or raise the alarm and have done so.

So he does as asked. Only thing he grabs to take with him is that old plush he still has hidden. He comes back clinging to it like a lifeline. The room smells of burning and Akashi is gone and he /knows/ and he thinks it should bother him but it doesn't.

Next thing Keigo knows, he's in a nice house. Being given a room. Told that Enji had to leave for a bit but he'll be back in the morning (he needs to keep his alibi after all. Be seen staying at Kaito's place.) He at least warned the other kids that they'd have a 'guest' though he didn't exactly elaborate on why or the long-term plan.

[delta-gambit-au]

Still alive, still jobless and living through hell, but I'm hanging there, not sure for how long. This Darkner will keep pressing onwards even if he needs to work as cleaner of decks on a sinking ship.

My commissions are open ad infinitum for anyone else interested into sending some kromer in my general direction and receive a goodie back ➡ Commission List

As for other things, I've been advancing the coding of the visual-novel in Python. It works. It only needs that I start to add my art and my stories. Time is not being a good mistress, I can barely have some for my things, as I keep doing stuff for everyone else and not for myself because I'm an indentured serf right now.

I've been considering turning this blog into a more "generic" blog for things related to my art, and move my blog project to a community, where I can post my brainstorming, half-baked sketches and ideas for the plot. I called it "Delta-Gambit Waiting Room", because I know the wait is going to be very long until I manage to find some stabilization in my life so that I can put more focus on my project (and finish the 3D things I've pending). I'll keep posting finished things on this blog though, but the rest of the dev-log would be moved to the community blog.

And for other RL related stuff, if you are curious just click below for the long form. For anything else, this is the short update about the status of the Deltarune AU: still working on it, but not as much as I wish I could (and I shall not stop because it's my life's passion to finally publish this AU for all and sundry to enjoy).

See you next year, with any luck. As long as I can get water for me and milk for Spamton, I think I'll be able to survive the turning of the year 👋

Edit: I forgot to add, I'm preparing the channel of YouTube that will contain the animated shorts based on your interactions with my characters through Tumblr, and to upload prototypes of the AU's story. With that format I aim to usher people into meeting the characters and to get them to know them better. Until I can upload the first video I'm still creating, I'll not disclose the link to the channel. I know it's hard to wait for content to land but I'm doing my utmost to find some time to advance everything into the right direction. Le patience.

I've been in paperwork hell for a month. Signed for food assistance during the last week of November, and after 3 weeks going back and forth trying to gather all the papers that assures the townhall that I don't get enough money to pay the bills and buy food and water at the same time, I'm still in the "waiting" part, if the townhall is going to call me to say yes or nay to my plea for assistance to get food, I'm not sure if it will be before the end of the year...

On the other side, gathered the same papers to get food from a local charity group who might give me food and water in a more readily manner than waiting for the townhall to start giving me scrips to exchange for the same products at a supermarket. I've hopes this group will help more swiftly. I'll be heading tomorrow with the papers towards the pantry they have in town.

I'm also scrambling to get a local job, anything, I don't mind if I work on the fields, farms, cashier, whatever. Apparently my online certificates has 0 value locally, and I need to pay for courses to get local certificates to get local jobs. My most urgent ones are to get certified in English and get Food Handler license too (as most of the jobs I was offered up so far required this essential). I don't have money to renovate my driving license (nor a single vehicle to my name since I needed to sell my car), and I'm going to apply for some scholarships around May (with any hopes).

This means that the "paradise" of going full freelancer online is a paradise no more. After so many years, one finally understands that AI took over most of the gigs we were in charge to keep, and we can't get into a 4th month without a job waiting for a company to have mercy of us humans.

So, life not being any lenient with me. Once the tap is closed, no more water will run and you need to look somewhere else. The only problem is that getting the certificates will not be cheap, and it will take long as for English for example is like 6 months per course (mostly I'm aiming to become a chamberlain in a hotel or a bellboy at least and English is requirement), but at least Food Handler is something that can be acquired within the day, but I still need confirmation for a few things from my local employment agency before even applying for it, which sucks because time is not running in my favour.

Currently I'm living with a person that is here just to make sure I don't end homeless. Nothing else, is very bad company, taking advantage of my precarious situation to post herself as my owner. Living with a narcissistic person that regards you as a failure and treats you like a servant, is making this indentured hell a far worse inferno. The roasting is daily, she mocks my genre dysphoria and the stress is so unbearable I got sick a few times (mostly problems with my brain not working and inducing me some manner of seizure that disabled me from laying down horizontally for 4 days -- needed to sleep in a sit'd position for 2 days). Is not a good life, but I need to endure through this opprobrium to avoid being tossed to the dumpster.

I keep praying for better times. This year had good highlights, but most of the year were just foreshadowing that I was going to become stranded and kromerless. That my computer started to break apart at the most untimely moment also seemed like salt added to the wound of the foreshadowing. I'm still GPU-less, and drawing with the Motorola phone as better as I can to keep up with the 2D commissions, but overall, still not the best source of income (and I'm not sure if it is because I'm not popular enough to get customers, or really my art style sucks too much to be worth half a kromer).

That's another reason I want to upload my other generic art to this blog, just to demonstrate that I can art. It does sound like the words of a desperate salesman, doesn't it? At this rate I should not be above drawing smut, if that will get me more customers but... really, not my cup of tea, but if I must, why not. Beggars can't be choosers, right?

Thanks for reading to the bottom. Until then, see you next post (I'll try to make sure that there is another post). It's possible that I'll be more active at the community for stuff related to the AU. You are welcome to take a gander there if you want, and I apologize in advance for the trickle of content from my part.

[anime-grimmy-art]

Day 6 – Hobbies

Zet – As Zet for long didn’t really have “free time” and just stood on stand-by until she was called in for the next quest, she never really had the time to develop any active hobbies. But just enjoying the garden/pond on her terrace, maintaining her weapons and enjoying Seliana’s hot springs have become her go to when she was not on hunts.

Mei – Mei is very sociable, so she often spends her time off running around the towns she’s in and chatting with the locals. While being very active, Mei also loves to sleep a lot, being used to sleeping the afternoons away to escape the scorching hot sun. Other things she likes to do are grooming her monsties, find nice patches in nature to just sit in and enjoy, sing and hum, and also make bead accessories, but she really sucks at that. She tries though.

Chidori – Chidori spends a lot of time with Hinoa and Minoto, so she spends her time eating dangos by proxy. Other than that, she likes playing with the kids, so Yomogi and Iori, both for fun and as training for the two. They often play “find the Cahoot” as her own Cahoot is very good at hiding. They can mostly find it bothering Utsushi though, because for some reason it both really likes his hair to nest in but hates his guts as well.

Day 7 – Family

Zet – Zet had been found alone in the wild when she was just a kid, evidently a child that had survived some monster attack and now just tried to stay alive in the wilderness. Being taken in by the Guild and trained all her life left her with little empathy for many people, even if said people took kindly to her (for example the Moga Village people). But after coming to the New World, Zet learned what it meant to care for others and see a place and its people as a home, and as something worth protecting. So, she sees most of the Commission as her new family, with the Handler, the FTL, the Huntsman and Granmeowster as her closest confidants.

Mei – All of Mahana is her family and everyone there is very dear to her heart. Mei will stamp you as family quickly though. Most people she met on her journey are now family in her book, so people like Ena, Navirou, Alwin, Lilia, Cheval, Reverto, Avinia and of course Kyle and Tsukino.

Chidori – While Chidori is initially not from Kamura, she could never call any other place her home. She had been living there for a few years before she had to leave for the Guild to get basic training, and she hadn’t even known how homesick she had been until she broke down crying cos she was so happy to be back home. All of Kamura’s villagers are her close family, but she’s especially close with Hinoa, Minoto and Utsushi. Utsushi ofc cos he’s her master, and Hinoa and Minoto cos they’re like big sisters to her. Before she left for the Guild, so when she was just a young kid, those two would mostly look after her, show her all Kamura had to offer and tell her tales of its history. So Chidori feels very safe in confiding in these two.

[the-time-travelers-admirer]

So, I was talking to Five about how he may have Imposture Syndrome and why and how that bleeds into him as a person.

I have talked about how when he was a kid there is a strong possibility that Reginald fucked with Five the most, and by that I mean giving him the most praise when he excelled at being useful but also being the most critical towards him as well when he wasn't. In short, Five was given the most praise and such compared to his other siblings because Reginald seen him as the most beneficial and useful, but when Five fought/pushed back and wasn't easily manipulated, it reversed tenfold...

And I've also talked about how I feel pretty confident in how he placed Five as the fifth child on purpose. Placing Five too far up would have soared his ego and made him a bitch to take advantage of and placing him at the far back would have most likely made him be meh about even trying to excel at anything because why try at that point right?

So, placing Five in the middle would make Five have a will and want to strive and prove himself to be worthy and efficient and, well, the best. He wanted to prove he could crawl through the ranks. In other words, Reginald filled Five with a need to prove himself and prove he was efficient enough... But, that never worked... No matter how hard he worked and pushed himself to try to prove himself it never mattered...

So, now after everything that has happened to him... Five now feels like he's a failure, not worthy, not good enough, and let's people put blame on him even when nothing is his fault... And most likely feels like he keeps failing himself and his family...

I feel like this even bled into him being a great assassin... By thinking he was "saved" by the handler, he felt the need to be the best and prove himself to again to be efficient. We know he hates killing, never wanted to be an assassin, and never wants to take a life... But, I feel he became the best because that's what he does and also what he had to do to survive while under the commission's watch...

He tries to excel and be perfect and be efficient in whatever he does because he feels like he has to. Even if it makes him hate himself and fill him with regret...

He didn't become the commission's best assassin because he wanted to, it was because he had to and being the best at something, no matter what it is, has become second nature to him...

Five does have an ego and he does have pride, but he also feels like he'll never be good enough no matter what he does even though he always tries to strive to be the best at everything regardless in what it is.

In other words, he's filled with the need to be efficient, worthy, the best, and perfect to himself and others...

And I feel his siblings still instill that in him today... I feel not a single person has ever genuinely thanked him for anything or has ever told him that they're proud of him or appreciate him...

And that's fucked up...

For example, him saving his family from the first apocalypse. That was a feat, that was an accomplishment, that was something amazing that he did! He did that in such a short amount of time and saved his entire family including himself! In seconds! He saved them from being evaporated, obliterated, VAPORIZED! Yes, that trip into the 60s was messy and it had some bumps, but he fucking did it! His quick thinking and skills prevented their deaths!

But, what did that get him...? It got him berated, hated, shit on, called names, thrown off stairs, guilt tripped, threatened, grabbed, triangulated against, and relentlessly blamed for everything...

And Five just accepts it all like that's normal... I feel he thinks he's failed himself and his family when the reality is...they've failed him...

Five is actually a truly amazing man down to his core and he deserves so much better...

I'm so glad that Klaus seems to be the one that actually and genuinely cares about him.

[vespertine-legacy]

Sunday Funday team had been out of commission for a couple weeks while one of our tanks was unsubbed and figuring out some life stuff, but we’re back in business now. Last night we were back in EC NiM, starting with a fresh run because we’re rusty and nobody had time for a lockout.

We were trying to figure out positioning (still), because we’ve been having the three ranged go to the cave side closer to Zorn (but one of them hitting Toth for most of the fight) with Princess, one melee on Toth with John, and then the healers split between the two sides, in spots where the Toth healer (ideally) does not have to take the knockback from Toth and the Zorn healer (ideally) is the only person other than the Zorn tank taking the Mental Anguish debuff or the rock throw (and preferably not even having to take the rock throw). With this setup, we should be able to avoid or mitigate most of the damage, since the ranged and healers are pretty much nowhere near either boss except for during the red circle phase or if one of them gets the yellow circle and has to run under Toth, and the damage on the tanks and melee is predictable and based on the bosses’ percentages, so as long as tanks are communicating (and keeping Toth positioned correctly), it should be cake, yeah?

But alas, we were shaking the rust off and also the game has features, so we kept running into issues with Toth not wanting to cooperate, so

Suff (Toth healer) kept getting knocked, which was breaking all of his heal casts, which meant wasting a GCD getting back in position, which meant either John (Toth tank) or Dice (melee) would die pretty much from just that once GCD of missed heals

Suff wanted to try a slightly different positioning for John, Dice, and himself, but said it would mean he could not reach the ranged at all. I put in chat, “fuck the ranged. <3” On that pull, things went absolutely sideways, but we actually got really close? I don’t remember the order of things, but Suff biffed it and I had already used my res on Princess, so I was solo healing and had to stand in the middle to reach both tanks, which meant eating rock throws and Toth’s knockback. So I tried to move far enough toward the entrance side that I was not getting the knockback, but that meant no heals for the ranged. I ended up getting caught in two red spike circles and a rock throw to the face for good measure, which took me out. We did actually nearly make it, they killed Zorn, Toth soft enraged, they killed Toth right as he murdered like four of the people still standing, and then the handler came down and wiped out everyone else.

Toth kept doing the 50% leap early, and if I didn’t have Princess (Zorn tank) topped off enough, it would kill her, so Zorn would wander off, I’d get overheated while res’ing and healing her up, Zorn would shriek before she could get him back in position and the whole group would get Mental Anguish/Weakness, without enough cleanses to get rid of all that mess (it only took a couple pulls to figure out when he was leaping though, and Princess was able to start timing a defensive for it and I was watching his hp to have her high enough to survive it)

Any time that Princess or I got the yellow circle that has to be taken over to Toth, things just got super squirrelly. I was off-mic because Lex had already gone to bed, so I couldn’t call out that I was coming over with the circle to let Suff know that we should swap sides until it was done, so Princess wouldn’t die while I couldn’t reach her, and it took twice of it happening for us to figure out that we needed to have someone with a mic call it out for me.

But anyway, shenanigans were had, rust was shaken off. We’ve killed them before, we’ll do it again.

[oneirataxia-girl]

TUA anon here again! I didn’t know Emmy and Telepath weren't supposed to be bigger OCs that's interesting.

If that's the case, can I pose the same question for Mirage? I know so much about her already but the basics evade me. Thank you already again mwah mwah mwah!

*pulls up a google doc of Mirage lore* yeah tbh I think I did a rather good job of hiding her most important secrets. Mirage is by far the most complicated oc I have so far (and probably one of the oldest) so here are some stuff that I probably haven’t said much abt her!

Mirage is the only one of the cerebral trio who stays at the Commission, so by necessity, AJ made her his successor (out of the three Telepath is the one with the best relationship with AJ, Mirage argues a lot with the fish)

she has the power to create illusions in other people’s minds. for example, she can make a person think there’s a spider in front of them, but to everyone else, the place is empty

Mirage is actually not the baby AJ acquired - the baby he found is named Veracity; but due to traumatic events in her childhood, Veracity developed dissociative identity disorder (also called DID), and the other personality is called Mirage

after the Handler takeover, Veracity was put under and made to take on continuous missions to prevent her from trying to wrestle control back; during this period, Mirage managed to convince Veracity to give her the wheel, since Veracity is about as queasy with killing as Emmy is with any kind of maiming

Mirage is much more proficient in their shared illusionist powers, and successfully fools her monitors into thinking she’s on another assignment when in reality, she gets herself to 1963 Dallas just in time to put a bullet through the Handler’s head

I feel like Veracity and Mirage have a 40-60 love-hate relationship. Veracity hates Mirage for dealing so many casualties in their shared body and being indifferent to Telepath and Emmy’s problems in the outside world, but on the flip side, it’s because of Mirage’s ruthlessness that they were able to survive -- had Mirage been a little kinder or let slip she cared for Telepath and Emmy, they would’ve gotten an early "retirement" and wouldn’t be able to restructure the Commission like they wanted

and I almost forgot, at one point (before Veracity/Mirage was molded into a model assassin), the Handler had them buried alive in an attempt to kill them; had Mirage not created an illusion to manipulate people into freeing them, they would’ve been declared dead

it’s because of this incident (and a few other attempts) that the Handler that she needed to exhaust their power before they could be killed. otherwise, no matter what method of execution she tries, Mirage would always have an illusion ready to protect themselves

Lila and Veracity never meet, but after Mirage takes place as head of the Commission, she personally goes to Lila to offer her condolences at her mother’s death (she taunts the other woman until Lila throws a cup at her). she’s also the one to offer Lila the choice to leave the Commission instead of plain old killing her (Veracity bullied her into agreeing)

I actually have a playlist for Mirage! it’s here if you wanna give it a listen