#The Cheers theme song hits different now

[guess-i-do-art]

LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY MIND LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: After meeting Joel one late night at a bar you launch into a whirlwind romance with him. But, between a nasty breakup and the end of the world, you're left with nothing but your thoughts of the past and the way they haunt you all too well.

Warnings: 18+ Mature themes including: language, loss of virginity sexual references, SA (Not by Joel), Animal death, starvation.

Based on the song by Taylor Swift.

Word Count: 6.5k

Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Winter 2023

Jackson was a town that was almost too good to be true. You had stumbled upon it nearly 7 years ago after fleeing in the middle of the night from a band of men that had captured you. Your sanctuary was just getting started then, but the group that was working there, welcomed you with open arms and as many supplies as they could spare.

It was your own little slice of paradise in this post-apocalyptic world you were stuck in. Away from FEDRA's iron fist and the horrors that evil people inflicted on others, most days you felt like you were living the life you used to back in 2003.

Of course, some things were different now. The TV in the corner of your living room was useless and most of your meals were communal in the mess hall. But, you loved it all anyway, glad to be away from the harsh world that lay outside the walls.

Even when you were assigned to clean out the horse stables, you loved your community. Jackson was your perfect little universe, undisturbed by the past and-

"Oh, shit...Joel?"

May 2003

College finals were the two scariest words one could say to you right now. Luckily for you, you had managed to somehow pass all of them this semester. Yes, you had somehow even managed an 80 on your biology exam, you still weren't quite sure how that happened. Maybe those 3am nights poured over your books did something.

"We should celebrate tonight." Your friend, Amelia suggested from her spot on the couch

"I was thinking about ordering a pizza." You sigh as you try to work out in your mind how much you have in your bank account. Perhaps you even had enough for some wings too.

"Not like that." She scoffs, " I meant we dress up real slutty and hit some bars. Get some guys to buy us drinks."

"I wanted to watch a movie tonight though." You sigh, thinking of the Blockbuster down the road. The second X-Men movie had come out a few weeks ago and you were dying to see Hugh Jackman on your screen again.

"You can spend the rest of your life as a grandma watching movies. You're only hot once." Amelia laughs

"But-"

"No buts. Your tits are gonna be at your waist one day and you'll thank me for this." Amelia declares before skipping off to her room, mumbling about which top she'd wear.

You sigh as you watch her door close. Amelia Caddel hadn't been your first choice for sharing an off campus apartment. Afterall, she was the opposite of you in so many ways. But, Miss Life of the Party had a steady deposit of allowance in her account from mommy and daddy, meaning she never missed rent, an important factor in a roomate.

"Guess you're spending the night alone." You sigh, looking down at your cat, Loki who purred, clearly wanting a treat or perhaps another heaping bowl of kibble.

Amelia fussed with your hair as the two of you entered your first bar.

"How're you going to pick up a guy if he can't even see your eyes?" She laughs

The stuffy air and the loud music, followed by a group of frat boys cheering for someone, reminded you why you never went out.

You watched with a sigh as she sought out the closest mid twenties guy she could wrestle a few drinks out of. You trailed behind, fidgeting with the skimpy black mini dress she had coaxed you into.

You'd have to hand it to Amelia, you certainly looked hot in it.

The feel of a stranger bumping into you and the sharp scent of aftershave filled your nose, and then big hands were wrapping around your waist, keeping you from stumbling.

"Shit sorry, hon." His Texan accent sent a small shiver down your spine.

"It's fine." You mumble, jumping away from the stranger's arms.

"Tommy, let's go! Quit flirtin' with the college girls!"

The man, Tommy, mumbles another apology to you before disappearing further into the bar, in search of whoever called for him.

Joel watched as his younger brother "accidentally" bumped into some silly college girl who seemed out of her element. Joel couldn't lie, it was something his brain might've come up with if he wasn't so damn tired from today's work. When was laying concrete going to get easier?

The younger Miller brother, who hadn't succumbed to back pain just yet, whispered some false apology in the girl's ears as she jumped away from him.

Joel called for him, he couldn't let Tommy terrorize some poor twenty-something girl who looked like a deer in the headlights under his brother's gaze.

"You're getting too old to be after college kids." Joel chastizes as he sits beside Tommy at the bar.

"Oh c'mon." Tommy scoffs as he orders a beer for himself and Joel.

"You're thirty, you're not some mid-twenties loser anymore." Joel points out.

"You're no fun, Joel," Tommy says with a roll of his eyes

Joel wanted to go home. He'd wanted to go home hours ago but Tommy had dragged him out after they finally finished working on their latest project, the new local Subway was nicely constructed by the Miller brothers.

Yet, here he sat, a few hours later, Two and a half beers deep, listening to Tommy try his hand at karaoke. Joel was pretty sure his ears were bleeding as his eyes scanned the bar. Most of the patrons were so drunk, they cheered Tommy on.

Joel found his eyes settling on the girl Tommy had "bumped" into earlier. She was still alone, sat across the room at a high-top table, sipping at some fruity drink. Pretty red heels were linked on the footrest of the barstool and Joel watched as she fumbled with her purse, looking for something with a deep frown across her pretty features.

If Joel didn't have a 13-year-old waiting on him back home, he might have slipped across the bar and sweet talked his way into this girl's arms. But the thought of Sarah back home, watching TV with Mrs. Addler had his ass glued to his barstool.

Instead, he observes as you finally find your phone and make a call. He watches as your features droop in disappointment as you yell over Tommy's singing to whoever was on the other end. Joel watched with a bit of amusement as you nearly fell off the stool when you went to stand up, you must've forgotten you linked those heels onto the footrest.

Joel let out a grumble of disappointment as Tommy launched into the beginning of Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. Why had he been given the world's most annoying little brother?

Joel's eyes turn back to the mystery girl and her delicate red heels just as some frat guy from Alpha Delta- who fuckin' cares, slings an arm around her waist, hand dipping too close to the hem of her skirt for Joel to be comfortable with.

As if he's on autopilot, Joel finds himself crossing the bar in long strides, ready to put a stop to whatever might come next.

"I don't see your friend now." The guy laughs as you shift your weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable.

Joel hears you mumble something about wanting to go home.

"I'll give you a ride."

The guy's sleazy tone has Joel cringing as he approaches. DId anyone teach these kids manners?

"Why don't you give the lady some space?" Joel suggests boldy

Alpha-Delta-Chad turns around to meet Joel's gaze, not releasing you just yet as he scoffs,

"Who the fuck are you? Her dad?"

"Just a concerned stranger." Joel nods to you in greeting, "She doesn't seem too comfortable with you, kid. Give her some room."

"How would you even know old man?" The boy asks, "You're like forty!"

Ouch. Joel was 35. Did he really look 40? Already?

"Let her go," Joel says, his voice deepening a bit

The frat boy's eyes scan Joel's figure. Either he decides you're not worth it, or that he'd lose the fight because before Joel knows it he's letting you go and murmuring another curse at Joel.

"Thank you." You breathe a sigh of relief, and a small smile graces your pretty face as Joel nods.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

The name slips out of Joel's mouth before he can stop it and he watches in amusement as you blink away in embarrassment.

Your eyes roam across his frame and Joel can't quite place the look on your face as you...size him up?

"Could you um...walk me to the bus stop? I'd go myself but I'm worried that guy might be waiting for me outside." You ask

Joel wants to say no. He wants to stay tucked away in the bar, sipping his beer, and hope Tommy accidentally swallows the microphone he's singing into. Yet, one look into your sad, and definitely drunk eyes has him folding.

"Sure, I'll walk ya."

A warm breeze blows through the air as your savior is beside you at the bus stop. He'd insisted on waiting beside you until the bus showed up, saying something about having a daughter back home and it not being right to leave you alone out here.

"So...what's your name?" You ask, your drunk mind disliked silences.

"Joel. Joel Miller." He says, "You?"

You softly say your name, shy under his gaze.

Maybe its the three margaritas but the man next to you is hot. Short brown curly hair with dark eyes to match. Not to mention the splatter of facial hair and mustache he seemed to pull off so effortlessly. He was definitely much older than you, at least over ten years your senior. But, he was attractive in the ways all the college boys in your classes weren't.

Your eyes raked over tanned arms, toned perfectly from whatever he did to get them. You could tell he was sporting a handsome dad bod under the plain blue t-shirt on his frame. You'd never been one for a rippling six-pack, a man who'd eat pizza and ice cream with you was always going to be attractive than one who spent his days drinking protein shakes and eating eggs for "gains". Joel seemed like a guy who'd be into a binge-watch of every Star Wars movie and indulge with you in an impulsive 2am Domino's order.

"Where the hell is this bus at?"

His deep voice had you snapping from your drunken daydream of pizza and dad bods.

"Oh um..."

You're not quite sure where the bus is. Hopefully, it'd show soon. Your legs felt like a newborn deer's, no way would you be able to walk the seven and a half miles back to your apartment like this.

"Joel!"

Another voice has you and your new companion turning your heads. Another man, somehow a bit familiar in your drunk brain is approaching.

"What're you doin' man? You missed my singing."

"I heard enough." Joel huffs in annoyance

Oh, so this was the guy who was badly singing to Brittney Spears and Journey. He looked a bit more familiar though...this was the dude that had bumped into your earlier!

"Now if I'm too old to be goin' after college girls, then you're definitely too old, brother."

"I'm not...Not goin' after anyone. I'm waiting for the bus with her. Some creep was hitting on her at the bar, I'm keeping her safe." Joel groans at this man's comment.

So he wasn't interested? You felt your heart sink a bit. Of course, he wasn't interested. He had a kid for crying out loud.

Oh god, what if he had a wife? Were you daydreaming about a married man?

Your eyes jump to his left hand.

Ringless.

Well, at least you weren't fantasizing about being a homewrecker.

"The bus? It's past midnight. The bus stops running at 11:30." The new guy says, looking at his watch.

"Oh...um. I'll just go then." You say, standing up on unsteady legs. Looks like you're walking. You didn't have the money for a cab, so your legs were just going to have to tough this one out.

"Go? Go where?" Joel's friend scoffs

You ignore him, he's so weird.

"Tommy, stop it." Joel scolds

He sounds like such a dad as you laugh to yourself while smoothing your dress out.

"Do you want us to give you a ride?" Joel asks, standing up next to you

"No, I can manage the walk." You brush him off, trying to ignore the way he's so tall all of a sudden.

You were even wearing heels and he was bigger than you!

"I can call a cab," Joel suggests, watching the way your ankle nearly twists when you take a step.

"I don't have any money for one." You whimper, as the pain in your ankle shoots up your leg.

Fuck these heels. Fuck Amelia for ditching you for another bar. Fuck Joel had his stupid dad bod and tanned skin. Fuck the stupidly attractive mustache on his stupidly attractive face.

This always happened when you were drunk. First, your legs turned into literal Jello and then you'd get all weepy about nothing. At least you'd have seven miles to cry your eyes out. Hopefully, Loki would let you hold him when you got home.

"Let me give you a ride. Do you live on campus?" Joel asks his eyes widening at the tears that dribble down your face.

"I'm just gonna walk." You mumble and bush past him, forcing your legs into an unsteady match.

"That's like...an 8-mile walk," Tommy says from behind you, estimating the distance between here and the college.

"Actually seven and a half." You sass, not interested in his comments or his stupid aftershave that invaded your nose as you walked past him.

You're not entirely sure how you ended up here, in the back seat of a pick up truck while Joel drove you home. You mumbled your address to him and he'd somehow known immediately where you were living.

Hopefully, you weren't going to end up dead in a ditch tonight.

Joel watched as you rested your head against the window. He'd walked you to his truck after you got a few feet away from him before sitting down on the curb, tears running down your pretty face, mumbling something about a cat.

"Fuckin' college girls." Tommy had mumbled as he helped Joel buckle you into your seat

"Let's just get her home," Joel said

"Yeah before she turns the waterworks back on." Tommy sighed

Joel drives towards the shitty apartments they rent to college kids. Two blocks away he had once been working in a fancy new condo building, putting up drywall and laying flooring. There'd been talk about developing your area as well, but six months later the apartments of Oliver Avenue were still as shitty as ever.

Joel guaranteed you were getting ripped off by your landlord. Probably paying too much for someplace that had thin walls and bad heating. Sure enough, he was right, as he parked his trunk in front of a building that badly needed a makeover.

"Stay here." He tells Tommy who seems to be a few moments away from falling asleep in the passenger seat.

Joel pulls you from the backseat, shoving Sarah's soccer ball back under the seat when it rolls out and tries to escape.

"Alright, what floor?" Joel asks as you stand beside him, tears finally dried up.

You wordlessly begin to plod your way up the steps and murmur what sounds like a five to him.

Joel makes sure you get your door open and watches as a black cat greets you as you push the door open.

"Hi, baby." You coo at the cat, scooping him up. "Did you miss me?"

Joel feels his heart speed up as you sweet-talk your pet. He tries to banish the idea of you talking to him like that, carding your hands through his hair, rather than this little black cat with a green collar and golden bell around his neck.

"Thank you, Joel." You say as you spin around to face him

"No problem." He hums, "Glad I was able to help."

You smile at him as your damn cat meows loudly, breaking the trance you had on him.

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, Joel."

July 2003

The fourth of July was serious business in Austin. From mega barbeques to fireworks that put Magic Kingdom to shame, your sleepy little college town was transformed for America's birthday.

A much-needed breeze flows through the park as you sit on the blanket you'd found shoved at the back of your closet. Summer was brutal this year, and you were sure that the Texas heat wasn't making the wait for fireworks any easier.

Your parents had invited you back home to Pittsburgh this summer. But, you found yourself more interested in staying put in Austin. Your sleepy suburb town back home would always be there, no sense in spending your summer cooped up in your childhood room. At least here you could go out whenever you wanted.

"Dad, let's go! All the good spots are going to be taken!!"

A young girl's voice drifts across the park as you turn to watch her pull what must be her father along.

"Hold on, Sarah! You're gonna make me drop all this."

"Move faster then!"

Well, shit.

Joel Miller, the savior of drunk college girls, was here in the park, walking towards you.

Your eyes widen as you take him in. At least you know it wasn't just the alcohol talking, Joel Miller was just as devastatingly good-looking now as he was a month and a half ago when he drove you home from the bar.

"H-Hi." You awkwardly stammer as he passes by you, arms full with a small cooler and a big blanket.

"Hello." He says, quickly

The double take he does is almost comical as he looks at you.

"Sarah!" He calls after the girl, "Come back here!"

"Didn't think I'd ever see you again." You smile, standing up from your own spot

"Well, I do live around here." He says with a lopsided smile that makes him look a bit more boyish.

The girl, Sarah, returns to her father's side.

"Hi." She says a bit flatly, clearly annoyed her father has stopped his march across the park to what she had deemed the perfect spot.

"Hello." You greeted her, with a soft smile.

She was so cute, with dark curly hair and black shorts paired with a pretty green and blue t-shirt. Sparkly sandals caught your eye as she stepped a bit closer to Joel, looking up at him for an explanation.

Joel introduces you to her, "I helped her out a month ago, got her home safe."

You're beyond elated he's standing in front of you again. For a little bit you swore he was a hallucination you'd dreamt up in a drunken haze. A handsome Texan man who'd driven you home safely after rescuing you from some sleaze. Amelia had scolded you for hours when she found out you hadn't gotten his number.

"Super safe." You smile at him.

Joel feels a nervous sweat break out on his forehead. Here he was with his daughter ready to watch their fireworks like they always did each year and he was flirting with a girl like he was 17 again. He'd be lying if you weren't on his mind regularly. The way you'd been dressed that night haunted him at night as he lay in bed, your sweet voice filled his ears as he went about his days. He'd wondered if you only used that tone for your cat.

"You two want to sit with me? I'm not sure if these are the best seats in the house but I do have some popcorn I can share..." You trail off, giving a smile to Sarah who enthusiastically agrees at the idea of free food.

Joel settles next to you as Sarah talks your ears off about soccer practices and the pool party Joel took her to a few weeks ago. He watches as you listen intently to his daughter's words. So rarely does a woman he's interested in take time to talk to Sarah. Yet, here you were, in college and interacting with his daughter better than most grown women did.

"So how old are you?"

Joel nudges Sarah with his shoe, doesn't she know that's a rude question? He could've sworn he taught her better.

"I'm 23. 24 this August." You say

"Wow," Sarah says

You turn away for a moment, reaching for the bag of popcorn that sits behind you. Joel's eyes widen as he watches Sarah silently mouth to him,

"She's so old!"

If you were old, did that mean he was ancient? God, how old did his daughter view him as? He could've sworn 35 wasn't that bad. Maybe it was though...

"So, 23. You're graduating soon then, yeah?" Joel asked

"I wish." You sigh, "I took a gap year after high school, and then just couldn't find the right major for a bit. I'm technically on track to become a Physician Assistant but I dunno if it's right for me."

Joel nods, he knows the feeling, not knowing if what you're doing is right. He'd felt that way when Sarah was born, and then when her mother left them, and then every time Sarah was hurt or crying, or just not perfectly happy, Joel felt that way, unsure of himself.

"You'd make a great PA, Sweetheart." Joel genuinely says, placing a hand over yours

"Thanks." You say a bit flustered at the physical contact.

"Gross," Sarah comments at what's unfolding before her eyes.

"You're gross." Joel counters, not missing a beat to tease her.

Sarah sticks her tongue out at him in retaliation, and Joel does the same.

You spend the rest of your summer with the Millers. In between public pool trips, and catching fireflies in the backyard, you somehow end up entangled with Joel. Staying up on the couch beside him, watching movie after movie when Sarah drifted off into dreamland up in her bed.

Before you know it, Joel is picking you up for dates and meeting you at coffee shops to let you talk his ears off about whatever book you've picked up for the week.

You let Joel take your virginity on a humid August night. After sending Sarah off to her friend's house you let him pull you into his room and under the sheets.

Breathless and sweaty you rest your head on his chest.

"You okay?" Joel asks quietly, running a hand up and down your back

"Mmhm." You sigh dreamily

"Didn't hurt you or nothin'?" He asks

"I'm okay, Joel." You laugh

"Just checking." He mumbles

Joel looks a bit out of place as he sits on your couch. Sarah had a week of soccer camp and the two of you decided to spend it together. Loki jumps up on the cushion beside Joel and lets out a loud meow.

"Pet him." You suggest with a shrug

"He doesn't even like me." Joel huffs staring into your cats eyes

"You nearly sat on him the first time you were here." You remind Joel of his previous crime from a week ago.

"I thought he was a throw pillow." Joel defends himself, motioning to the many pillows you and Amelia had scattered around the apartment.

"You thought I had a green-eyed pillow that meowed?"

"I dunno what you women are into, you're all so confusing."

You let out a scoff before plopping down on the couch next to him, Loki climbing into your lap and purring as you scratch behind his ears.

"The only confusing one here is you, Joel Miller."

Tommy isn't as bad as you thought he was.

Scratch that, he's fantastic, pulling out old photos of Joel from over the years. You nearly piss yourself though when he whips out an old family album. A nine-year-old Joel stares back at you as you look at an old photo of him playing tee-ball.

"Look how cute you were!" You gasp as you run your fingers across the photograph

"Joel Miller, star tee-ball player!" Tommy teases his big brother.

You smile as you watch Joel's face turn red as you take in even more photographs of him as a kid, you even see his 10th-grade photo, yes the one where he has braces and the worst case of acne known to mankind.

By the time the Texas heat begins to ease off and the leaves begin to change colors, you're head over heels in love with Joel Miller. From the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, to the way he'd dance with you in the dead of the night while the refrigerator door hung open, the light reflecting off your bodies as you laughed in his arms.

Three months, such a short time, and yet so much had happened. You tried to focus on the Anatomy lesson your professor was talking about in front of you yet you found your mind occupied with something else. It was as if you had been possessed, nothing but Joel filled your mind as you scribbled your notes onto your notebook. Anatomy class be damned, you were going to go mad thinking of him like this.

Your birthday, August 29th rolled around faster than you thought it would. You hadn't seen Joel all week. Between your classes, Sarah's soccer and school, and Joel's contracting, you had only time to talk to him briefly on the phone.

You had reached out to Joel earlier today to invite him to a small birthday party Amelia had insisted on. Nothing special, just some pizza and cupcakes, a cheap beer or two.

But now, it was going on 10:30 and Joel was nothing but a whisper in the wind. Sadness weighed on your chest as you watched the front door, hoping for a knock that would signal his arrival.

"Hey...I think we should just go to bed..."Amelia suggests softly from her spot next to you.

"No, he's coming." You mumble sadly tears tickling your waterline,

You stare at the last cupcake that sits on the coffee table. It was meant to be for Joel. You had scooped it out of the box thinking about how nice the icing looked on it. You had wanted him to have the best one in the box, even if that meant your own was a little lopsided and missing sprinkles.

Amelia pulls you into her side, letting you rest your head on her shoulder. She gently wraps her arm around you and quietly says,

"It's supposed to be fun, turning 24..."

September 2003

Three days pass before you hear from Joel again. His voice on the other end of the phone call is paralyzing as your world comes crashing down. The phone beeps as the call ends and you stand at your kitchen counter in shock, shocked that he's ending it all like this, with a phone call.

"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."

His words bounce around in your mind as you slam your phone down on the counter. Loki jumps from his spot on the windowsill meowing as you cross the room quickly.

You pulled your covers over your head, blocking out the world as you heard Amelia return from her ethics class.

"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."

God, that made you want to die. What did he even think of you? That you were some wide-eyed college kid who just existed in limbo for him?

You spend the next week in bed, plagued with tears and anger as you curse Joel out at least 1000 times a day. The knock at your door and Amelia entering your room with a box has you startled.

"What's this?" You sniff

"UPS guy just left it at our front door." She says before setting it on the bed and leaving you again.

You cut the box open and find your things inside it. Little things you'd left at Joel's over the summer. Hair ties, a brush, deodorant, t-shirts, and sweaters, even a photograph of you, Sarah, and him at the aquarium is nestled between the pages of a book you kept on his nightstand to read to him before the two of you dozed off. The box holds your entire relationship as you dump it out on your bed.

The scent of Joel, masculine and inviting clings to your belongings just like the way it clings to your heart.

Your hands shift through the items again, the scarf you wore to Tommy's house is missing. You had left it there and Joel had promised to return it to you.

"Who wears a scarf in Texas?" Joel snorts

"I do! And you better give it back, Miller." You groan

"I'll get it to you, sweetheart. Don't worry about it."

You wonder what has become of your scarf now. Perhaps it's sitting in a drawer in his room, nestled among his belongings, looking horribly out of place. Or maybe it's stuck in his truck, shoved under the seats under the pretense that it would make its way back to you one day.

You wonder what has become of Joel now. Perhaps he's lying in his own bed right now, thinking of you, your scarf wrapped around his hands, smelling of you and all his failures.

You wonder if this love affair bruised him the way it did you.

God, you had so many regrets.

December 2003

Cold air fills your lungs as your feet ache beneath you. Snow gently fell down as you sighed quietly. The walk into your hometown was no joke. The shitty beater car you'd stolen had died about 50 miles ago, leaving you vulnerable and scared.

Loki meowed from his crate as you quietly walked along. You shushed him and dropped a few treats behind the bars of the crate. He was going to need food soon if you intended to stay alive, your traveling companion wasn't known for holding his tongue when it came to hunger. The last thing you needed was to have an infected try to kill you because of your pet.

It had been nearly 5 days on the road now. and You'd managed to drive from Austin to Pittsburgh all on your own armed with a shotgun and a map you'd found in the glove compartment.

The past few months had been spent in Joel's basement. After things started going south outside your apartment building, you stuffed Loki into his carrier and filled a two big duffle bags with food and clothes for you and supplies for your cat before managing to somehow sneak into the parking deck and jump into your car. Amelia had never returned from her boyfriends house that night. You knew you couldn't go looking for her though, his home was nearly 25 miles away while Joel's was only 10.

It was mid-morning on September 27th when you reached Joel's place. The other neighborhood homes were empty and you nearly threw up at the sight of Mrs. Adler's mother lying face down on the driveway.

Your heart sinks when you discover Joel and Sarah are already gone. You hadn't expected them to be here yet, a part of you had hoped they'd be. It was Joel's birthday yesterday, you wondered how he'd spent his last normal day. Knowing him, he'd probably been at work all day.

You barricade the doors before slipping into the basement. Joel had spent time finishing it so it was nice for Sarah's sleepovers. You let Loki out before returning upstairs to bring down every nonperishable food item the home had to offer.

And so, there you sat with your cat, in your ex's basement, willing for him to magically appear and tell you everything was going to be okay.

March 2017

The Pittsburgh QZ was fucked. Royally fucked. The loud explosion from some truck filled your ears as you zipped your backpack shut. Loki let out a meow of protest as he disappeared in your bag. He was nearly 15 and his attitude about backpack travel wasn't improving.

You stick to the back alleys as you work towards finding an out. A decent-sized hole in a fence catches your eye and you take your chances, better than getting blown up by the Fireflies or FEDRA.

You're about 4 miles away from the carnage when a sizeable group catches your eye. They must've gotten out just like you.

A man, David, shares a can of flavorless chili with you and you sit on the ground beside him. But, the more you listen to him talk, you can't help but think he's a total nutcase. You thank him for the chili and the 8 cans of chicken noodle soup he's shared with you and decline his offer to join the group.

"We have so much to offer." He says in a soft voice, gesturing to the people scattered around eating and talking amongst themselves.

"I'll stick to just him, thanks though." You say petting Loki's head as you pull him from your backpack to place the cans of food inside.

"Suit yourself."

April 2017

You had dozed off. A rookie mistake to make in the apocalypse.

They had been on you before you knew what was happening. With nothing but a knife to your name to protect yourself, you were hopelessly outgunned.

"Look at what we have here." A deep voice booms, "A girl wondering in my woods, must be my lucky day."

A smelly man stands in front of you, and about 8 other men are circled around you. You squeeze your eyes shut as he lets a dirty finger trail over your face.

"How pretty."

A loud hiss cuts his next sentence. Loki, you brave boy, has climbed out of your backpack where he had been taking a nap. His back has hunched up and you don't miss the way his dark black fur is bristling in the low light of the sun disappearing behind the trees.

You aren't even able to try to arrange a deal for your baby as the man pulls a large knife from his belt and carelessly throws it at your cat.

A horrible screech from Loki fills your ears as the man coos at you and tells you it'll all be okay.

"We've got dinner boys!" The man who has killed your only friend in the whole world exclaims.

Your eyes slam shut as red blood begins to seep into the fabric of your backpack. The man says something about being a provider but you're too focused on choking back the tears that are forming in your eyes.

Hours later, you're tied to a tree stump, your arms behind your back. Your captors present you with a warm soup of sorts. Canned carrots and potatoes float in a clear broth but it's what sits in the center of the bowl that turns your stomach. What's left of your Loki is now being devoured by the men.

You can't do it. You had been starving, unable to catch anything for days. but you can't do it.

"Fine, don't eat." The leader and cat killer huffs as he runs his hands across your chest in an unpleasant matter, "You're going to wish you had though when we're done with you."

June 2017

The moon is your only light as you steal away into the night. Your heart is pounding but you can't or rather won't look back.

Your escape is credited to a man named Adam. He had always been softer to you than the rest. Less brutal than the others when he bent you over a tree stump and forced himself into your unwilling body, cooing in your ears about how good you felt even though you were dry.

Softer and easy to fool when you batted your eyelashes at him so he'd give you a second serving of the deer they'd killed. Gentle when he cleaned whatever wounds the others inflicted on you for their sick pleasure.

Tonight, you had used his softness against him. Crying and whimpering when he tied you to a tree, saying the restraints were too tight. He'd of course taken pity on you and loosened them before kissing your forehead and walking off to sleep.

It had been easy to slip out of the ropes thanks to Adam. You stole his backpack and stuffed it with as much deer jerky as you could get your hands on before snatching a gun off Adam's unknowing form.

Now, you were stumbling through the night, hoping to put as much distance between you and the men as possible.

Nearly three weeks had passed and you were still somehow free. The men hadn't found you and you were deep into the wilderness. Your freedom was something you had yearned for since the moment Loki had died. Yet, here you were, starving and wasting away because you couldn't kill anything to eat.

You drag your body into an old concrete building that was being used to control some form of dam. You rested your head on your backpack, thinking of how far you'd come.

Strangely though, you thought of your past. Fuzzy images of a college classroom came into your brain. Amelia's long blonde hair and the way she'd style it perfectly each day. Texas summers, filled with heat and perfectly seasoned barbeque.

What you wouldn't do for a big plate of ribs right now.

And then the curly hair of a little girl is dancing around your mind. Her warm laughter fills your mind as you think of Sarah Miller. With her sparkle filled sandals and her strange interest in gore filled horror films. You wondered if she was still out there somewhere. Perhaps stuck in some QZ with Joel.

Joel.

You think about Joel. You're sure you've thought of him more in the past three months than you did your whole relationship. Every night when one of your captors, or sometimes multiples had you every which way, you'd try to think about other things. Those other things often divulged into Joel and how gentle he'd been with you. Oh, how you missed his warm arms and soft southern twang. Hou you yearned for him even now. Your only real relationship experience was something you just couldn't let go.

When you were finally found by Maria, you were nearly ready for death. Brain filled with delusional thoughts of the past and starving, she had hoisted you up on her horse and rode off to Jackson, praying this mystery woman wouldn't die on the way there.

Winter 2023

You nearly fall over when his tired eyes meet yours. The loud voice of a young girl fills your ears.

"Do you two know each other?"

You push the stable door open to get a better look at the man who stands before you. For so many years you had pictured the man you dated for a few months, not trying to imagine the way the end of the world might've changed him. Your mind can't reconcile the Joel you once knew and the one before you.

For starters, he looks so tired. Graying curly hair sits atop his head, a salt and pepper beard adorns his face. Even his frame has changed, the winter coat he wears hides it but you can tell he's become riddled with muscle to take on the harsh outside world. The only thing that seems the same is his mustache, somehow untouched by time.

"Joel, wait up! There's something I gotta tell ya!"

Tommy's loud voice carries from wherever he is and you want to laugh at the younger Miller brother. Of course, he was going to try to intercept your meeting. Too bad he was too slow.

"Joel? Hello? Do you know her?" The girl asks again.

You glance at her, she can't be more than 14 or 15. Her pale skin is rosy against the cold Wyoming winter. She looks at you, probably for an answer since all Joel is doing is staring at you, most likely in shock.

Eventually, though, the man of the hour opens his mouth to speak,

"No, I don't know her."

This is my first time writing for Joel, hope you enjoyed :)

Next Part

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

Tags:

@lunaticgurly @orcasoul

[choosingwhatmatters]

Music in The Loyal Pin, Episode 16

Once upon a time, I started out writing about the music of The Loyal Pin. I had planned to make my posts a weekly thing but had to give up after episode 5 because I realised that time is a finite ressource. Meh. Still, one last time, though, I want to sing the praises of the piece of art that is The Loyal Pin. What a show!

I try to keep it short and simple, but, uh, well, that's not my strongest suit. I want to talk about the three pieces of music that have stood out to me the most.

Theme 1 - Pentatonic

The first piece I want to talk about appeared in my very first post about the series, and it was also the first recording I ever did. We hear it in episode 1 when Anil jumps/falls from the tree and lands on Pin. It is also what starts of the first intro song.

In episode 16, the theme accompanies what has to be Anil's most epic speech (which is saying a lot) about the future of love and marriage. According to the tone of the speech, underneath the piano there are now strings playing different harmonies to the ever repeating theme. This is a clip from the actual show because how do you ever imitate something like this?

I still can't believe this innocent theme from episode 1 is now making my throat hurt. The strings! The harmonies! My little heart.

Theme 2 - Pin's heavy heart

Conveniently, the second piece I want to talk about is one that I mentioned in the second post I've ever written about the show. It's also my favourite piece of the whole series. I think there is not one episode where it is not featured and there are many different versions of it. In the early episodes, it is a wistful melody that often accompanies scenes in which Pin is sad.

In episode 16, when Patt asks Anil to take care of Pin for her, we hear a sweet, cheerful version of the theme. Yet another cheerful version sounds when we learn that Lady Ueang has refused to marry the man her mother has intended for her.

Theme 3 - Helpless

There is also one theme that hasn't changed at all. I have written about this piece in my post about episode 5. It accompanies scenes in which our princesses (again, Pin: princess of my heart) experience emotions they don't know how to deal with. The thought of your favourite person going to England. Losing your parents when you are very young. Fleeing from your princess because her kissing lessons make you feel too many things at once. Accepting that you have been hit by the unstoppable force.

In episode 16, we can hear the theme in three instances: First, Patt apologises to Pin and they reconcile. Second, Pin faces the anger of Anil's father and falls into her Anil's arms after the confrontation. Lastly, Anil opens her birthday present from Pin and freezes when she realises that it is a ring box. Aaaaand I am tearing up again. This show, y'all. This music.

My goodness, there is so much more to say. But I think I will leave it at that. Maybe one day, when I am an old woman studying music again, I will be able to dedicate this music the time it deserves. I have never been able to find out who composed the music (there are several people listed), but whoever they are, they did one hell of a job!

Thank you, dear friend, for taking this journey with me. If you're a fan of Thai gl, I think we'll meet again soon. In any case: Stay safe and listen to music.

[yonderghostshistories]

Monty Python Fan watches Red Dwarf for the first time

(or, a Monty Python fan watches the Red Dwarf episode “Timeslides” for the first time)

Recently watched the Red Dwarf S3 Ep5 episode “Timeslides” for the first time, and I really liked and enjoyed it fr! It was very funny tbh, and ngl I fr relate with Lister’s existential dread with lounging about with nothing to do and wishing things went differently. I would absolutely love a Tension Sheet fr, I think it’d help me with my anxiety tbh

Kryten & Cat are so cool I absolutely love them both <33

Holly is a Sarcastic Queen fr 💅👑✨

Ruby Wax as Blaise (/Blaize) Falconburger was also pretty funny too, I really enjoyed her performance in the episode!

Ok the reason I did watch this episode was partly (actually no, not “partly”, it’s was “entirely” really lol) because of the fact that Monty Python member Graham Chapman was originally gonna play the role of Blaise(/Blaize) Falconburger, but he unfortunately passed away before rehearsals and filming began, and so the role was given to Ruby Wax at the last minute.

Idk why, but if in some AU where Graham never had cancer (or, at the very least in an AU where Graham’s cancer wasn’t as rapid and he was still well enough to at least appear in cameos or smth idk), this scene truly would’ve hit different at the time as it probably would’ve been, like, his final final acting role or smth, ya’know what I mean?

Like the episode is about people entering into photographs, like MOVING photographs, and so if Graham appeared in this episode as was originally planned, his performance really would’ve really given the episode a whole new meaning to it. Like the episode is about people going into the past via photographs from the past, and trying to change the timeline so they could have a different future compared to the one they currently have, so they could have a better AU life than the one they currently have, an AU life where they are happy and content compared to the mundane monotony and lack of excitement in their original life. Graham’s would-be performance had he not died would’ve (imo) represented this heightened sense of longing to be in a AU where everything is alright and good and happy and the world was ok for once (like for example, Graham Chapman not having cancer and is still alive and well and happy), as well as being really emotional too 🥺🥺😭😭❤️❤️.

Anyway, those are my thoughts and I apologise for making everyone sad now.

To cheer myself and y’all, the Red Dwarf theme song absolutely slaps fr 💯💯💯

@gcballet @iiep-wop

[lilgarbitch]

Running In Circles - Two

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: suggestive scenes, alcohol

Word Count: 8.5k

Author’s Note: (Original note) I won’t base Y/N or her band on any specific artist or band, but I will use certain artists multiple times purely because I either want the lyrics/ genre of song to fit a theme or for particular surprises. (New note) I’m not sure if it’s dumb or not to upload these fast, but since these were already written, the first 7 chapters will be going up in quick succession. After that, the chapters will be uploaded as I work on writing them.

Part One

Noah

A loud groan escapes my lips as I run a hand over my face. She looks so much different than she did all those years back. Yet, the exact same. And she was going to kill me. I had to hide it, but everything she did had such a substantial impact on me. From her personality, to her tattoos, her voice, and her absolutely beating my ass in Mario Kart. I don’t care what anyone says, she was the most perfect person I had ever met. 

Being reminded, I look down at the switch in front of me and pull out my phone to take a quick picture of our score. I open Instagram and go to post it on my story, about to tag her, before remembering I haven’t actually followed her on my main account yet. I’ve followed her on my secret account for years, so easily remembering it, I type in her username, hit follow, and then go back to posting the picture. 

It wasn’t until it was fully uploaded and I looked over at the boys that I felt the giant smile I had on my face. After catching some looks from them, I played it off, trying to let it falter, but a small smile still stayed. 

“Yeah… That’s her. For sure. I- I felt it again the second she introduced herself to me. I don’t know if I wanted to believe it, even after seeing those pictures. But seeing her in person again today just… sealed the deal.” I answered them, throwing my head back onto the couch and staring up at the ceiling. 

I just couldn’t help but think of all the memories I’ll get to make this tour. Don’t get me wrong, every tour was exciting, from traveling to beautiful places, trying new restaurants, and spending it with my brothers. But this tour would definitely be one to remember. I didn’t even care if she felt the same way, as long as we could become close and I could spend time with her. I’m just happy I finally found the girl that has plagued my mind for the longest time.

The boys and I were about to play our first festival. We managed to catch a bit of Erra’s set but had to run back to our stage to finish setting everything up and doing our warmups to get ready. I was more nervous than I’d ever been, but I knew that if I just got through this set, I would feel like I could perform anywhere. Plus, we’ve had technical difficulties in the past, but everything worked out well, and none of them were our fault. I practiced enough this week that I could probably do the whole show in my sleep. So there was nothing that could go wrong, right? 

We got the signal that we were going on any moment now, and did our best to hype each other up. We all gave Folio a quick high five before he ran out on stage. Instantly, I could hear the entire crowd cheering, and that was all I needed to be ready for this show. 

Jolly and Nick ran out a few moments later, and now I just had to wait for my signal. Shaking out my hands and feet, ensuring every last drop of my nerves were gone, I heard the music start. The crowd was louder than ever, and I felt my confidence building more and more every second. With one last exhale, my cue to run on stage was now. 

I walk around the stage and get a good view of the crowd's size as I start singing Mercy. The passion I felt in this moment was unlike anything else. The crowd cheering and singing along with every word, trying to reach and carry every note as I do. The hands in the air. The range of age and style. These people all came together to hear me, or at least wanted to hear me for the first time. I felt like a fucking king in this moment. 

Over the next few songs, I really started to get into the zone. I felt connected with each of my brothers on stage with me, every person in the crowd in front of me, and especially the lyrics as I sang them. I sang the last line of Malice and let the arm that held my mic fall, letting my breathing relax. Turning to my brothers on stage with me, I gave them all a proud smile. They all returned it in their own way as they set up for our next song. Jolly gave me a laughing smile, and Nick gave me a smirk. I walked towards Folio behind me and reached out my hand, him grasping it over his drums and giving me the brightest smile. We’ve come so far and nothing was stopping us now. 

Stepping away and back towards the front of the stage, Jolly and Nick start the first notes of The Worst In Me, Folio immediately following their lead. Putting back on a more serious demeanor, I get closer to the people in front. 

Is there nothing left to keep myself awake?

To keep these walls from caving in?

When all they ever do is try to bend and break?

Is there forgiveness in the end?

I lower to a crouch as I sing the lyrics, scanning my eyes over the people at the barricade. Their faces light up as I look at each of them and try my hardest not to smile at the reaction. 

I had you in my grip, but you’re starting to slip

Bring out the worst in me

And now it’s come to end, I think I’m giving in

You set my demons free

I watch as everyone sings along with me. I hold out my hand to them, and a few reach out, but they’re all just too far to touch. I stand and move more to my left to see more faces, not wanting to prioritize the ones right in front of me. 

I need relief, a failure’s coming on

Just breathe in deep, It’s taking far too long

I need relief, this weakness carries on

Please be a dream, or was it all along?

I stand back up and let my eyes roam over the ones standing behind those before as I continue to sing along, making eye contact with everyone I can.

It’s better when you’re with me

My eyes trail across their faces.

But it’s better left unsaid

I see them all singing along.

It’s better when I’m empty

I even catch a few tears falling down some of their faces. Matching those that fell down mine as I wrote some of these songs.

But I still let you in

Then, there it was. There she was. I had never seen her before, yet something in me knew her. I tried to move my eyes past her, but they stayed glued to hers.

It’s better when you’re with me

She wasn’t moving or singing along with the others. It was like we were both locked in a trance. I felt electricity flow through my entire body. I felt like I had been transported to a different world.

But that’s better left unsaid

When she blinked, the movement reminded my brain where I was. Reminding itself what was happening

It’s better when I’m empty

But I’ll still let you in

I was thankful a part of my brain kept working, singing on complete autopilot. Because nothing else wanted to work. I couldn’t move my eyes. My legs stayed glued to the floor. I had to try to fully rip myself away from the moment to even regain control of my body. 

Blinking a few times, I finally move from my entranced state and finish the song, keeping my eyes on anyone but her. As the song ended, I turned my back to the crowd, closed my eyes, and let out the biggest exhale. I had to refocus. We still had half a setlist to get through. 

I looked up at my band, and Nick gave me a weird look, silently asking what was wrong. I completely ignored him as I turned back around and got ready for Said & Done.

With my mind almost on full autopilot, I managed to push through and finish the rest of the set. Cheers roared through the crowd. I pulled out one earpiece to listen to them, hoping they bring me back to reality. The boys and I all walked to the front of the stage, bowed, and said our thanks, to the people in the crowd and to the festival for having us before tossing random shit out to the crowd and saying our goodbyes. 

As we were heading off the stage, it was almost like I could no longer fight it as what felt like a magnet pulled my eyes back to hers. She was still looking at me, and a shiver ran through my body. I almost think I saw the same happen to her, but I forced myself to pull away and off the stage before I got completely stuck to her again. I did my best to shake off the feeling and push it to the back of my mind as we walked back to our tour bus. The boys were eerily quiet as we walked back, or maybe my brain was just so overwhelmed with emotions that I was blocking everything out. All I knew was that I needed to sit down. 

Finally reaching the bus, I sit on one of the couches in the lounge and throw my head back, shutting my eyes. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to replay the moment or force everything out of my brain. All I knew was that the only thing I could see in my head was her eyes. And I couldn’t stop wondering what the hell that was. Who was she? What was that feeling? Why did it truly feel as if my body was being pulled towards her? Wh-

“Noah!”

My eyes shot open as I quickly sat up and looked at the boys all sitting around me.

“What?” I blandly ask, trying to play it off. I got a few odd stares in response.

“What the hell was that?” Ruffilo asked. 

Shaking my head, I replied weakly, “ I don’t know what you’re talking about,” which caused him to raise an eyebrow at me. 

“Well, first of all, something distracted you during one of the songs, and then you looked completely out of it the rest of the set, and then you ignored all of us on the walk back.” He gave me a stern look, telling me there was no lying or getting out of this. I let out a sigh and ran my hand over my face, trying to collect my thoughts. 

“I..really don’t know. I can’t even explain without sounding stupid.” Then Jolly sat beside me and put a hand on my shoulder. 

“Come on, you say stupid shit all the time; I think we’ll understand some of it,” Jolly said, causing me to give him a weak smile. 

With another sigh, I started talking. I tried my best to explain the weird trance I got put under. About how I got locked in her eyes until I literally had to rip myself away. That caused Jolly to ask if she was just really hot, to which I responded with a smack to his chest. I explained how, for the rest of the show, it was like there was a magnet I was fighting against. One that finally pulled me back in before we left the stage, and that time it felt even harder to rip away from. I did my absolute best to explain the feelings that shot through my body the entire time, but since they were nothing like I had ever felt before, I had nothing to compare them to. By the end of the venting, I had my face in my hands, trying to reground myself. 

I sat up and ran my hand through my hair as I looked back up at them all. Each more confused than the last. 

“I really don’t know how to help you here, bro. I mean, it sounds like some divine intervention shit.” Folio finally said. That caused a groan to erupt from my throat. If it really was, why now? To a person I will probably never see again? I’ll never be able to find her again. What the fuck is even happening.

2 Years Later

The thought comes and goes. It’s more like a dull yet burning yearning in my chest that hasn’t left since that day. It’s been so long that I’m starting to get convinced that I’m just going to be stuck, thinking of those eyes, until the day I die. 

I pull out my phone and look at the time, groaning when I see that it’s now two in the morning and I am just lying here, stuck in this endless cycle of thought once again. Then my eyes land on the date, causing an even larger groan. It’s been over two years since that show. It’s been over two years of the same ruminating thoughts. I roll over in my bed and open my phone, knowing that just sitting here in my thoughts will keep me up all night anyway, so I might as well try to distract myself. 

I open Instagram and switch over to my alternative account, one that can actually follow interesting things without fans speculating on why I follow so many people. I scroll through the timeline, liking a post here and there, seeing a few bands posting news or a few memes that actually put a smile on my face. Getting stuck in the endless doomscroll, I finally landed on a post that genuinely piqued my interest. It was one of Bryan’s photography friends who liked to travel and find new bands to help out with pictures. I always loved discovering new bands to listen to, so just seeing his username caught my attention, but then I finally looked at the pictures he posted. 

Oh, fuck. It was her. It was her. I could recognize the face anywhere. Even though I caught it for barely a minute, it was so engraved into the folds of my brain; seeing it every single time I closed my eyes, there was no way I couldn’t recognize it. I noticed she now had a neck tattoo that she hadn’t before, peeking over her crew neck shirt from the first picture. I scrolled through the photos, almost burning a hole through my phone as I eyed up each one with her in it. She looked utterly beautiful as she performed. I finally let my eyes fall on the caption. 

‘So incredibly thankful to have found this amazing band while traveling around the East Coast. Check them out at @ Praisingdeities and definitely check out their music. It was unlike anything I have ever heard.”

Praising Deities. Now, that’s something I could absolutely do now that I finally found her. I click on their username, it sending me to their page, before instantly following them. I scrolled through their pictures, not getting enough of finally seeing her again. I saw that there were people tagged in one of their posts, so I clicked on it and saw that one tag was right on her. @ PraisingY/N. Clicking on that, I got sent to her personal page. God, she was fucking beautiful. I was glued to every picture of her face. I almost had to force myself to scroll to the next post, my eyes not wanting to leave the last. 

Finally realizing I had spent way too long staring at her, I exited the picture and scrolled back up to the top of her page, ready to tell someone that I had found her, when I saw her bio. 

“Goddess’ out now!”

Fumbling with my phone, I hurriedly opened Spotify and typed in their name, instantly getting results. I clicked on the song ‘Goddess.’ Within seconds, my ears were filled with the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. 

You’re like a goddess in disguise

I’m drowning slowly in your eyes

It’s like you kill me by design

You’re all I desire.

Fucking tell me about it. I wouldn’t blame anyone if they wrote this song about her. With a surge of energy running through me, I bolt up out of bed and out of my room. I peek into the hallway, seeing that both of the Nicks’ doors were closed, but Jolly’s was open. Glancing into his room, seeing that he wasn’t there, I ran down the stairs, searching everywhere for him. Finally, I make it to our studio and practically burst through the door. Jolly and Folio are sitting in there, chatting, as Jolly held his guitar. They both look up at me in shock the second I come through the door, and I almost run to them, holding out my phone, Y/N’s Instagram account pulled up on it. Jolly’s hand reached out first, so I handed the phone to him as he looked at it confused. 

“IT’S HER! THAT’S HER!” I say, not trying to yell but accidentally doing so. Nick leaned over in his chair towards Jolly as Jolly pulled the phone closer to his face to get a better look. 

“Her? Like..her her? The one from the show?” Nick asked, still looking over at my phone in Jolly’s hands.

“Yes! I found her! She’s in a band. Oh my god, guys. She sings, and it’s like heaven. She’s like heaven. I can’t believe I fucking found her.” I say, practically pacing around the room. Nick pulls his phone out and pulls her band up on Spotify, hitting a random song, and instantly, her beautiful voice plays through the speakers.

Petrichor on the floor of your mind

I’m sorry for the pain that I caused

The rain I left behind

Petrichor, we’re left paralyzed

A battlefield of vortex we shattered from the fight

I stopped and stared at them as they stared at her profile on my phone, waiting for any reaction from them. They hear this, right? As I watch them scroll on my phone, looking over her selfies and group pictures of the band, one of them occasionally pointing out a tattoo or an instrument, suddenly, her voice changes, causing us to immediately stare at Nick’s phone as she starts screaming.

I’ve got an ache in my heart

Can’t fix this hole in my head

Didn’t think we could restart

Maybe we’re better off dead

We all look at each other, Jolly with amazement, me with shock, and Nick with a smug look. 

“I think you found your perfect match, Noah,” Nick said with a chuckle. I felt heat rise to my cheeks. She was perfect, wasn’t she?

We talked about it until we all decided it was too late and should head to bed. I’m not sure whether it was finally finding her, or if the amount of energy I just let out finally wore me down, but I was able to get some sleep. The next day, Jolly mentioned that he followed the guitarist of their band and reached out, telling him that he loved their sound, which came with the response from their guitarist, Thomas, fangirling a little bit from the recognition. Jolly said that they had a lot in common and had been chatting about music and other interests, which was fucking fantastic.

I get brought out of my daydreaming to the sound of her voice floating through the air as they do their soundcheck. I sit up and look at the boys whose attention was also caught by the noise. I stand up and go to walk towards the stage, not so far that I’m within their view, but just enough that I can watch her as she sings a few lines of a song with her eyes on the front of stage crew, looking for confirmation that everything sounds good. Each member tests out their instruments, and then they do a small run-through of a song before heading off stage. I turn around and walk back to the boys, or try to, before realizing they were all standing behind me, watching as well. 

I give Ruffilo a small smack on the arm, laughing as we hurry back so we don’t get caught. Sitting back down in random seats, trying to play off that anything suspicious happened, her band came into the room, with the stage manager trailing behind them. 

“Alright, boys, you’re up.” the stage manager commanded, making us all stand and follow her. 

“You guys sounded amazing. I can’t wait to see your full set,” I heard Folio tell the other band from behind me as we passed them. I turned and went to give them a proud smile as a way of agreeing, but I instantly caught Y/N’s gaze, getting locked in. Within a split second, I got lost in them, only being able to break out when Jolly patted my shoulder to keep me moving. With a few blinks, I finally sent them a warm smile, quickly turned my head, and returned to heading towards the stage. 

Y/N

Bad Omens does their soundcheck as my band and I plan out our set, going over if our setlist was exactly how we wanted it to be, what we wanted to add in, where the best break would be, and what surprises we should add, as it’s something we loved doing to connect with the crowd. The next hour was a bit of a rush as the crew ensured everything was perfect, and both bands checked to ensure everything was ready. The next thing we knew, we were about to head on stage. 

I peek around the side of the stage and see the massive crowd, all either chatting with each other, hyping themselves up, or singing along with the pre-show playlist. This was it. We’ve had large shows in the past, but this was our biggest yet. Bad Omens being the first well known band to let us tour with them. I jumped up and down a bit, shaking off my nerves as my band and I got ready. Suddenly, the venue's lights darken, and the stage lights turn green, our signature color. 

“You ready?” I hear in my ear. I turn and see Damien looking down at me with a huge smile, causing me to instantly return it and give him a nod. He pats my back a few times before running on stage, waving to the crowd as they all start cheering. I watch as he sits behind his drum set and spins his sticks a few times, both putting on a show and letting out some nerves. Finn and Cal follow lead, each giving me another pat on the back as they pass me and head to their designated sides of the stage, earning more cheers and screaming from the crowd. 

All three make a little noise to get the crowd even crazier, Cal strumming loudly, followed by Finn playing a little riff, then Damien playing a few beats. My face was starting to hurt from the smile on my face as I watched it all play out in front of me. 

They all started the beginning of our first song, causing the crowd to quiet down and signaling that it was now my turn. After a few moments, I wait until the vocals start and walk on stage. I sing the first few lines of our first song, and the crowd goes insane and starts singing along. I had to force myself to keep my composure and not smile too wide. Over the next few songs, singing along with Cal in some of them, and having a chorus of fans in front of me join in on the ones they know, I felt so connected to everyone. I occasionally glanced at my band and felt so proud of us. It felt like being on top of the world, with my best friends standing with me the whole time. 

We finished the fourth song of our set, and I mentally prepared for our next one. It was ‘Goddess.’ I wrote this one after Finn forced me to start journaling my feelings when I wouldn’t talk to anyone about why I was always so stuck in my head. I took all the least heartbreaking feelings out of my entries and then quickly wrote down some of the things I said and tried to make them sound as good as they could as lyrics. After the band looked over it, we made some changes, making it flow better, and then Cal mentioned that maybe we could gender-bend it to make it make more sense and cause less confusion about who I could be singing about. I won’t lie; most of our newer songs were about Noah, or at least he was in mind when writing them, but this one was probably our most blunt song, the words being my exact thoughts and feelings. 

With a cue from the band, I began singing, them joining in later.

You’re like a goddess in disguise

I’m drowning slowly in your eyes

It’s like you kill me by design

You’re all I desire

Cal and Finn join in as we sing the next few lines.

You’re like a goddess in disguise

I’m drowning slowly in your eyes

I could cross the great divide

But only you decide

Then the music finally starts, and I get a moment to breathe before continuing, knowing that the person I wrote this about was nearby, and I honestly didn’t know how to handle it. I look forward and see everyone having an amazing time, some acting as if this was their favorite song with how they even mimicked the guitar. My eyes continued to trail over the people and then towards my bandmates as they played. Then something caught my eye. On the side stage, I saw Noah and Jolly rocking out to the music. Who knows how long they’ve been there, but now I didn’t know what to do, Noah’s presence throwing me off. With a deep exhale, I began to sing the next part, trying to rip my eyes away from Noah.

Tell me you love me

He was singing along.

Tell me you need me

He knew the words. He was staring right at me, singing along, and I couldn’t help but stare back.

Tell me you’ll never ever think about wanting to leave me

It was almost like we were singing to each other. If only he knew that I genuinely was singing to him and had been since I wrote the song.

You’re Aphrodite

God I’m in love

I tried breaking away from his gaze, but between the magnetism forcing it together and my deep desire of wanting to sing this to him for the longest time, I just couldn’t.

It’s time you ascend to your rightful place perched on your throne up above

He actually knew every word. It caught me so off guard. 

Go and take your seat at Mount Olympus

I’ll do anything for you my temptress

Even if I’m innocent, I’d confess

Kill to watch you undress

Feel your body close pressed up

The dark look in his eyes sent fire straight to my core.

Against mine

He stood there, crossing his arms against his chest, staring at me with a look I couldn’t explain.

Heart beats

In Time

Feel your chest rise

You’re all I desire

A look I could explain. A look I absolutely mirrored as I continued singing the song. A look full of desire. One that could part the Red Sea just so we could meet in the middle. I knew my feelings when I wrote this song. I knew the feelings I had when I’d stare at new pictures or videos of him at night. My eyes trailed down from his eyes to his lips as he sang along, ones I needed to feel on mine, then his neck, covered in a tattoo I so desperately wanted to touch, down to his muscular arms that have caused unspeakable thoughts to cross my mind many many times, but before I let them move down further, even though I so badly wanted to, I brought my eyes go back up to his, before finally getting the power to pull them away and look back towards the crowd as I finished the song. 

Everyone cheered as the song ended, and I did everything in my power not to look back at Noah to see his reaction. I refused to falter, especially while on stage.

We played the rest of our set, even a random song that someone in the crowd requested as it was a part of our show. At one point, while looking at my bandmates, my eyes glanced at where Jolly and Noah once stood, but they were no longer there, probably getting ready to go on stage themselves. Thank god. Hopefully, I wouldn’t run into any of them until the show was over, and I could let myself cool down in the meantime. 

We said our thanks to the crowd and hyped them up for the band they were mainly here to see before leaving the stage. The boys all ran to me, and we had a small group hug as we made our way backstage. They talked about how amazing our show was and how fun it was to have such a large crowd, especially with people singing along. I laughed and agreed, letting them take my mind off everything until we finally reached the room and sat down. Jolly and Nick were still there, chatting and messing around until we joined them. They both stood up and ran to us, giving us their praise. I looked around and let out a sigh of relief when I saw that Noah wasn’t there and I just let the boys talk until Bad Omens had to head on stage. 

Eventually, Ruffilo joined us, also sending compliments before chatting with Folio and Jolly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know where he went. He was with me watching their set for a while, but after a few songs, he just left, and I haven’t seen him since,” Jolly responded after Ruffilo asked if anyone had seen Noah. 

“We go on in less than ten minutes, so whatever the hell he’s doing, he better be quick,” Folio said as he pointed the drumsticks in his hand toward the stage. 

“If he’s not here in the next few minutes, I’m sending out a search party,” Ruffilo groaned out.

I hope he’s okay. But depending on which song he left after, I have a slight idea on where he could be. I immediately shook that thought out of my head, unable to handle if it went any further, and turned to my boys and tried letting them be my distraction from my mind as we all waited to see if we had to help search for the missing boy. 

Noah

I stood in the bathroom, washing my hands and trying to collect my thoughts. God, that fucking girl. 

Night after night, after finally finding her and hearing that exact song for the first time, not once did I have control over myself. I don’t know what I was expecting when I knew I would finally hear it live for the first time, but I wasn’t expecting her to practically serenade me in front of thousands of people as if the words were meant for me. If only she knew the effect she had on me. 

Finally feeling like my hands were clean enough,  I glanced up at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed a bright red, either from thinking of her or my previous actions. I quickly bent down and splashed my face with cold water, hoping it would help, before drying myself and leaving the bathroom. I made my way back to where everyone was and let out a few deep breaths, breathing in through my nose and out my mouth, hoping to feel a little more grounded. 

“There he is!” I hear as I step into the room, making me give Ruffilo a sheepish smile. 

“Alright, let’s head over, we start any minute now,” and with that, I get pushed towards the side stage. As I moved, I happened to glance over at the other band, who were looking back at me. I gave them a smile and a quick “You guys were amazing” before I continued to be pushed. My eyes were met with Y/N’s for a split second, but I quickly shut them and turned away. I couldn’t handle that right now. I can’t let any thoughts fill my head when I need to be completely mentally on stage. 

Somehow getting my brain working again, the band and I had a blast on stage. I let myself live in the moment, not caring about anything other than singing and having the crowd sing with me. The screams and cheering were even heard through my earpiece, which was absolutely insane. We made it through most of the set, only having our two encore songs left. But that was when I was brought back to reality. As much as I tried to play it off, the boys knew who was on my mind when I wrote ‘The Death of Peace of Mind’ and ‘Just Pretend’. One getting more shit than the other, as they knew there wasn’t anyone else on my mind when they were written. Especially when she was all I ever spoke about. Actually, many of the songs on this album were written with her in mind, just with some help, or should I say arguing, from the boys, so we didn’t make this whole album dedicated to my feelings for her. But these were the two that I had fully written out while thinking of her, and the boys liked them so much that they just went with it. But I did have to lie and tell fans that I wrote ‘Just Pretend’ as a joke to not cause any suspicion. And surprisingly, they became fan favorites, so now I had to play them every night.

I had to do everything I could to not think about her while singing. I knew this would be a problem when the talk of touring with them was simply a subject, but with the emotions I went through not even an hour ago, I absolutely could not get lost in my thoughts while in front of thousands of people. 

Pushing through, I managed to get through The Death of Peace of Mind with a straight face and complete composure, pushing her face out of my mind every time it popped up, no matter how much the look in her eyes as she sang to me flashed through my head. But now, the one that held all of my emotions would be the hardest to perform without cracking. 

The song began, and as I sang, I tried my hardest to think of anything but her. I put on the best performance I could, knowing I had to show a little emotion while singing it but doing everything I could not to feel it too much, knowing the one I wanted so desperately was just backstage. I did the best I could, but the second I hit the chorus, emotion came crashing through my body. 

I can wait for you at the bottom

My eyes started to get drawn to the side of the stage, not wanting to do what she did, I only looked through my peripheral.

I can stay away if you want me to

She was there, watching.

I can wait for years if I gotta

And I have. God, I’ve waited years and years to even see her again. And I’ll wait more if it means I could get closer to her.

Heaven knows I ain’t getting over you

As much as I didn’t want to, I sang that line to her. My eyes locked on hers as I did. I hope it wasn’t as obvious to her as it was to me, but those words were for her 110%. I moved as far from her as I could, pretending like I wanted to get closer to the crowd, but it was so that I could break away from her as I continued the song. 

Finally, the song ended, and as much as I wanted to run off stage, the boys and I said our thanks and goodbyes like we always did. We tossed some memorabilia to the crowd before we could finally leave. We filed off the stage, and I let out a long sigh as the boys all high-fived each other. All I could think was how I hope these shows would get easier. 

Y/N

I honestly don’t know why I decided to watch their show with all the thoughts running through my head. Noah looked utterly mesmerizing up there in front of everyone. He was meant to be on stage. He put on the most amazing performance and sounded absolutely beautiful. The problem was that this was the first time I had seen him perform since that day. Thankfully, I was paying attention this time, but that didn’t change the tension I created when I sang to him earlier. 

Everyone was now back together after the boys stepped off stage. Once again, all chatted as Noah and I just kept to ourselves, paying attention to their conversation but not really adding anything. At one point, Nick mentioned that we should do something together to celebrate our first night, which got a mix of replies, from a few people saying that we had to head out soon for our next show tomorrow, to some being more than happy to party a little to start off the tour. Damien checked the time on his phone and said that we had a few hours to do something, we just probably shouldn’t go anywhere and just hang out here before we had to hit the road. That got a lot of good reactions, so I guess that’s what we’ll be doing. 

I started walking towards the door, letting the boys know that I was going to change quickly and just meet them out there, and headed towards the bus.

Stepping on, I walked to the back and opened up my bags, trying to find something comfy to wear, hoping I had something that wasn’t embarrassing since most of my sleep shirts weren’t the most appealing. Rummaging around, even through the other boys’ clothes, the best thing I could find was leggings and a tank top, only wearing pants because it was still a little chilly out. Tossing them on, then throwing on my slippers, I took a look in the mirror to make sure I didn’t look insane.

I wiped under my eyes to get any mascara that had smudged over the day, fixing a few of my piercings, making sure my septum wasn’t crooked, and none of the others had anything on them, and glanced over my outfit one last time. Many of my tattoos were showing because of the tank top, and I couldn’t wait to see what the other band had to say about them, knowing they were covered all day with my now dirty sweater. After one final once-over, I figured I looked good enough and walked off the bus to see the boys talking outside.  

Finn, Cal, Jolly, and Ruffilo were all standing outside the Bad Omens’ tour bus chatting, and I assume Damien, Nick, and Noah were inside doing who the hell knows. I walk towards the group of boys outside, standing between Finn and Ruffilo, and give Finn’s arm a squeeze to let him know I was there, to which he turned slightly to see me and smiled as he continued to talk to Jolly about a guitar shop in one of the places we toured. I smiled at the rest of the boys, earning some back before Ruffilo’s eyes trailed to my arms. He made an exaggerated face, creating an ‘O’ with his mouth. 

“Dude, those are sick,” he said as he reached a hand out to grab my right forearm and slowly twisted my arm to check out the sleeve I had. I laughed as he looked at it in amazement. I stepped closer to him and held out both arms so he could get a better look. He eyed up the black ink sleeve I had on my right arm, the one that had cybersigilism print flowing throughout some of the pieces, connecting them all into a full sleeve. Then he looked at my left arm, which made him gasp, catching Jolly’s attention. My left was full of American Traditional pieces that all collectively came together. Jolly stepped closer to me to look at them all before his eyes caught my chest piece, a large bat with flowers around it. Finn and Cal laughed at their reactions, knowing this was a common thing when people into tattoos saw me. I just smiled at them as they moved my arms. All of a sudden, Jolly pulled away and walked towards the door of the tour bus. 

“Yo, guys! You have to check this out!” he shouted in, causing the three boys to eventually trickle their way out, confused. I looked over and laughed when my eyes met Damien’s, who was also laughing when he saw them inspect me like I was some crazy art piece they found. Nick and Noah walked closer, not understanding, until they got close enough to see what their friends were freaking out about. Folio joined the rest of them as Noah just stood back and watched as they pointed out specific artworks. 

“You guys wanna see something cool?” Cal asked them while laughing, making them all look over at him. That’s when he grabbed me and turned me around, which I immediately understood so I pulled my hair off my back and onto my shoulder, showing off my upper back tattoo of Baphomet that I got a few years back. It was one that was usually hidden because of my hair, but I did love showing it off. 

The second I turned away from the boys to show them, I heard a soft groan in the distance, which caused a snicker from a few of the other guys. I didn’t understand what was so funny, so I kept showing off the tattoo. 

“Dude, your tattoos are crazy.” I heard Folio say as I fixed my hair and turned back around.

“Thank you. I honestly just wanted to get covered as fast as I could, so I only have a few meaningful ones, but most are either in areas always covered or on my legs,” I replied with a smile. I earned a few more compliments before they all returned to talking about their own thing. I noticed Noah glancing at me occasionally, so I shot him a smile, trying to play off the tension I know he also felt. He gave me one back, just not a full one, almost like he was too distracted in his own head. That’s when Damien chose to get our attention. 

“So, we drinking, or what?” he asked us, clapping his hands together, causing a groan from the boys in my band, knowing how hard Damien wants us to go, and cheers from the other band. Damien jogged to our bus as the rest of us piled into the other since we were going to be hanging out there.

“Don’t touch my Fireball!” I shouted at him with a teasing smile, knowing he hated drinking Fireball; well, all the boys did, which is why it was mine. He, and multiple other buys, made a chorus of disgusted noises in response, making me laugh hard. 

“Of course you like Fireball, you’re the most insane girl I’ve met,” Ruffilo said to me teasingly as I walked on the bus, causing me to laugh harder. 

“I’m honored,” I replied with a sweet smile before taking my seat next to Cal. Damien came in a minute later holding three bottles that he packed the day before when we got on the bus, and even though I gave him a little shit for it, I’m beginning to think he had the right idea as Jolly set an equal amount of bottles on the table next to his.

Finn asked where the cups were, and Jolly started looking at the bottles, thinking about which would be the best to start off with. Finn set some solo cups down, understandably the only option we had, as Jolly started pouring us all shots of tequila. Great. Well, let’s hope I don’t embarrass myself. 

We all toast to the tour and take our shot, the liquid fire going down painfully. I exhale as I feel the fumes in my throat, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I breathed fire, not having tequila in at least a year. Thankfully, it settled in my stomach fine, even though I hadn’t eaten anything since the drive here. 

We all chat about anything and everything as a few more shots get poured. We all sat cramped in the lounge of their bus, The Bad Omens boys sitting behind the driver's seat, Jolly the closest to it and Noah the farthest, and me and my boys sat on the other side, Damien across from Noah and me across from Jolly. So I was the closest to the door, that was still open, and even though my body was heating up from the alcohol, the occasional breeze still caused goosebumps. I rubbed my arms a little bit, hoping that the alcohol would heat me some more.

 I held my cup out to Jolly across from me, signaling that I wanted a refill, and he took it, asking if I wanted anything in particular, to which I responded by shaking my head no. He poured a little vodka into my cup and handed it back, which I accepted with a smile. I guess that’s when my goosebump-covered arms caught his attention. 

“You cold?” 

“No, just a small chill from the breeze; I’m okay,” I replied

“Hun, let me run to our bus and grab you a hoodie,” Finn offered, giving me a slightly concerned look. 

“I promise I’m okay. I’ll warm up after I take this,” I said with a giggle, lifting my refilled cup. Suddenly, Noah stood up and reached his long arms around into one of the bunks and grabbed a hoodie, handing it out to me.

“Just wear this until you warm up.” He said. I was about to protest again, but he almost seemed annoyed, or maybe that was my drunk ears playing tricks on me, so I didn’t want to argue. I reached out and took it, giving him a smile and a small ‘thank you’ to which he responded with a slight nod and returned to talking with the boys. I put my arms through the hoodie, pulled it over my head, and slid it down, the bottom being a tighter fit, so I had to put a little extra effort into getting it over my chest, but once it was on, it was the most comfortable thing ever. It was definitely the alcohol affecting it, but going from chilly to warm with a soft hoodie felt like heaven. 

I turn my attention back to the multiple conversations happening at once. My eyes caught with Noah’s, as he was staring right at me. He cleared his throat and tried to turn away like he hadn’t been caught staring, but I just flashed him a bright drunken smile. He did a small double-take before looking back at me and laughing a little as he gave me one back. 

I mouthed the words ‘it’s so comfy’ at him as I hugged the hoodie closer to my body, and he responded with a small chuckle and mouthed a ‘good’ back. I giggled as I reached into my pocket, wanting to be on my phone for a while as I wasn’t as interested in the boy’s conversations. I clicked on the power button to turn on my phone and saw that I had a bunch of notifications, a lot more than usual, which confused me. Thinking maybe it was just me being tagged in photos from tonight’s show, I clicked on them and got taken straight to Instagram. I click on my notifications and see that they're all comments on my last post, talking about Noah once again, but this time saying how it was either cute that I kicked his ass at Mario Kart or how he went easy on me, which made me laugh, knowing how it actually played out. But I was still confused on how they knew, before I scrolled enough and saw that I was tagged in a story.

I let out a loud laugh as I clicked on it, catching a few of the boy's attention, but I waved them off as I tried silencing my giggles. I liked Noah’s story before replying to it.

“That’s what cheaters deserve ;)”

I saw Noah shift as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out, and I watched as he clicked on the notification and chuckle to himself before looking up at me with a smirk and then typing on his phone.

Noah- Me? The cheater? Who was the one who smacked the controller out of my hand?

I giggled before replying.

Y/N- Says the one who picked the hardest map of the whole game!

Noah- You literally got first place. you didn’t struggle that bad. 

Y/N- You’re still an ass

I heard him let out a huff which made me giggle more.

Noah- Whatever you say, sweetheart

My heart skipped a beat, but I did my best to play it off. I look over at my cup I had forgotten about and take my shot, it going down a lot easier than before, but I still made a face while shaking my head. I heard a laugh and looked up to see Noah watching me. I give him a scrunched up face to exaggerate the disgust, which he continued to laugh at.

“What are you two giggle-fucks laughing about?” Damien asked us, making me us laugh harder. “Come on, we still have a while to party, let’s get some more rounds going!” he suggested, resulting in some groans and chuckles. This tour is gonna be the death of me. 

After a few more rounds of shots, me trying to deny most of them, it was finally 3 A.M. and we had to hit the road. We said our goodbyes and headed to our bus, Finn having to hold me as I walked up the stairs. I really should wash my face, but that’s a problem for tomorrow. 

I fell into my bunk, ready for sleep to take over as I was utterly exhausted from our first night. I pull my arm up under my head and face the wall of the bunk, closing my eyes. That’s when the smell of a citrussy amber and musk filled my nose. I lifted my head and looked down at my arm, and realized I was still wearing Noah’s hoodie. I let out a soft giggle before burying my head into the sleeve and letting sleep take over me. I fell asleep before I could see a new notification coming from my chat with Noah.

Noah- Here’s my number incase you need it ***-***-****

Noah- or to let me know when you wanna give that hoodie back ;) See you tomorrow

Part Three

[phen397]

Sonic adventure 2 but told through notes I took while playing part2 electric Boogaloo

OK here we go again

Tails in the Chao garden is too cute

Love the way his tails sway and flop on the ground

Feed the children all the tubes

Only one though

He will be the most drugged up Chao at the races

OK

Time to leave

Sonic in jail

Amy from the sky

Have no fear Amy rose is here

How did she get that key card

"That black hedgehog"? Amy please come see me after class

Marry me if I tell?

Did sonic write the stuff in the walls

Nah he too dumb for all that math

Who built these ramps and loops in the middle of the ocean?

Guess gun did since their name is on everything

Thanks omachao I didn't know how to do a homing attack

Cuccked by a bot phasing put of existence

Can I just not hit ghost bot?

No omachao I haven't tried using the light dash I don't even have that yet

Oh hey light dash shoes

Go fast on rings

Lots of peacocks in this level

The seal is so cute look at him

Rocket time

Bigger rocket

I gotta ride it!?

Oh snap

To space baby

Oh God he jumped

Where did this stuff come from

Snowboard down tube to goal

Sonic seems to like taking panels off of gun's stuff

I am sure they aren't important

New gate in Chao space

The kindergarten

I am going to go get apple sauce and have a nap

Oh it seems to be empty

Little drawings of chaos on the walls

Wonder if these where drawn by fans

Chao bulletin board

What browser?

Different doors for things

Can't do anything cause I didn't bring a Chao

I am a teen just wandering around a kindergarten

Not weird at all

Let me talk to the principal

Lots to say

Now how do I get my Chao here?

Poor all the animals and tubes into one Chao

What could go wrong?

Maybe if I pick up a Chao and leave I can take him to the kindergarten

Nope

Next level time

In the forest

So far so good

Hi shadow I mean faker

Not even good enough to be my fake

"I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS" damn sonic let the man finish

Time to fight shadow

Did he just say he is the coolest?

Shit I fell

Wait for him to land after his attack then hit him

Do you even know who I am

Green forest

Yes

Yes it is

Close your mouth shadow please

Island gonna blow up

Soundtrack picking up for this epic race against death

Oh yea Amy and tails are here too I guess

8 minutes till boom

Epic vine swings

Love my naturally growing springs

Level done

More tubes for the child

Let's see how the child has grown

Race time

Mushroom forest this time round

Look at my child go

Not dead last so doing good

Ha some tripped

Cheer em on

3rd place thanks to a trip right at the end

Try again?!

So I need to win huh?

Fine I will be back

Island blowing up cutscene

Plane flies away

Pumpkin hill

Getting jiggy with it

Place feels haunted

Knuckles time

Shovel claws

I can dig now

I can dig up Graves

Ghosts not happy

This place feels familiar

How train why train?

Found all 3

Eggman psa

Creepy child

Eggman empire

Egg face in space

The ark

Laser beam

NOT THE MOON

24 hours

Gang saw it all

How did he get all that energy

Chaos emerald

Talis has one just cause

I am sure you saying something important tails but I can't hear you over the sound of your theme song blasting my eardrums out

Oh shoot the popo

Yes Amy you are an accomplis now

No backing out now

Ah yes mission Street

Right next to objective lane

If you hit side quest ally you went to far

Tails level

Gonna get so many tubes

Boosters

Fly high?

More like hover mid

Okay

Okay

Okay

Okay

Okay

Thanks tails

More tubes for the child

All for now But next time I don't know maybe the child attends class or smth idfk

[empty-dream]

I wanna talk about the MV of Frieren 2nd OP song Haru (which surprisingly doesn't mean Spring (春) but Sunny (晴る)) Almost missing out this MV because it's not done with original Frieren AMV just like the first OP. But someone recommended to watch it anyway and I did. And DAMN IT'S SAD. AND HEAVY.

The story itself is pretty straightforward and easy to understand once you finish the entire MV. The fun part comes from the Youtube comments. There are several interesting insights about the MV, the song itself, and the relationship with Frieren series. After digging and crosschecking here and there plus some thinking, few points I'd like to bring up are:

Relation to Sousou no Frieren

This. Enough said.

On more detailed note, 晴れる (Hareru) means to clear up, to stop raining, to be sunny. Himmel in German means heaven. So it's basically turning into "clear heaven/sky"

You know Himmel's presence was so big and brought hope wherever he and his party was. Even in the Demon King era, his heroism and kindness brought light the people's life. Even now, long after he's gone, Frieren keeps meeting people who are directly or indirectly impacted by his actions, even for the smallest things like helping around the village. It was enough to cheer everyone he comes across.

I was thinking of how Serie and Frieren could end up so different despite being the same race as elves with unprecedented talent for magic and similar rather cold distant personality. Perhaps I'll talk in another post about it but for me, I feel like one of the biggest differences is that Frieren got to meet Himmel. Long after Flamme died, Serie is basically still alone at the top despite having more disciples, while Frieren meets Himmel and through him meet the others and then she walks the same path as them. Even after the two people she ever cares about die, Frieren's sky becomes clear as she learns about her own feelings and what should really be treasured in human limited time versus her own limitless one. Or at least that's how I interpret the anime.

The song itself

The lyrics often mention of how beyond the rain pouring down from the clouds, the sky up above is sunny. Beyond pain, there is peace. It's fitting the whole "clear (up the) sky" theme.

I've listened to a few Yorushika's songs before Haru, and while their songs are kinda hit and miss for my taste, I enjoy Haru a lot. And I didn't know that wordplay is Yorushika's specialty. After looking at some of their songs, I found out they like switching kanji of the titles so that the titles hold double meanings.

And honestly, whenever I picture "spring", I always pair it with "clear sky." Even though rains do fall in spring too, I always go with sunny. This whole kanji switch is genius, ngl.

Once I knew that one of the member, n-buna, is a Vocaloid composer, I was like "Huh. No wonder." Sometimes wildest profound lines do come out from Vocaloid songs.

The MV in general

The MV itself is straightfoward. The father is unaware he's dead. The son has been alone all these times. But still, the wish to live in a world of sunny days free of war and loss just like back in the day goes on.

An interesting top comment theorizes the wall here resembles the Western Wall in Jerusalem, while the tree with flowers shown in the last seconds looks like the olive tree. Olive tree means peace and reconciliation. The metaphor "offer an olive branch" means "wanting to end the quarrel and disagreement." Olive branch is present in the emblem of Israel while olive tree is considered as a national symbol for Palestinians. As of this writing I haven't found any official confirmation for those theories. But either way, this is clearly about living in war state-something that is unfortunately ever-present in the world.

I personally think that the release timing, the choice of story and certain elements in it like the wall, the plant and the sea, all make the MV extremely relevant to the genocide and occupation of Gaza now, whether it's actually intentional or not.

The director of the MV, Kohta Morie, tweeted something along the line of 'I present this work to those who did not have the chance to be "sunny."' Incredibly sad, when you think about it.

[girlinthetardis04]

LIVE VENGEANCE SAGA REACTION!!!!!!!!

Here I am totally on time and not two weeks late. In my defense ☝️ I moved to another continent and got sick (the events are not correlated). I'm still sick, but the thought of being able to hear Poseidon and Hermes in the same saga was irresistible. Onward!

Not Sorry for Loving You

The kalimba is lulling me into a false sense of security.

CALYPSO JUMPSCARE

My boy Ody can finally leave!!!! In yo face bish!!!!

EXQUEEZ ME? "I'm sorry my love's too much for you"? I know a guilttrip apology when I see one! At the very least have the decency to have a good beat!

"Let me speak" NO TF I WON'T

Is she gonna shut up any time soon? 😐

Ody??????? Oh, phew.

Wait, wait, I heard those strings before....but where

Dangerous

★WHOOOO HERMES I'M COMING DAHLING★

AH! "Full Speed Ahead" melody jumpscare! JAY I NEED A WARNING!!!! OH MY GOD THERE'S ONLY SILENCE IN PLACE OF THE CHORUS CALLBACK!!!! CUZ THEY'RE DEAD

YEEEEESS

HERMEEEEEEES!!!!!! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAAAAAN

I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUUUUU

💃💃 "It's gonna get a little bit ✨dangerous✨" 💃💃

(fair warning, I'm gonna be completely useless for the rest of this song, I will be dancing and nothing else)

Odysseus finally sounds like he has some life back in him.

"We went through so much to get this" why do I have the feeling Hermes just hit up Aelous like "hello ✨dahling✨ would you happen to have a spare wind bag?" and Aelous was just like "oh yeah sure, np"

WINIONS!!!!

Ah <3 Hermes you magnificent trickster, you. Come back anytime!

Charybdis

★Cariddi! The ✨SUPERIOR✨ sea monster. Yeah, that's right, Scylla slander. Come at me★

Oh damn, that's loud.

Is Cariddi gonna be voiced? Because if Scylla can sing, so can he. If he's not, I will be severly disappointed (but not too much cause I got Hermes back)

It's so good to hear Odysseus with life back in his voice :)

I'm sorry, was that electric guitar? Is it because of Cariddi or because Odysseus isn't very human anymore? Food for thought.

Are those howls Cariddi? No singing? :( damn, fuck me ig.

I'm scared, this is too good to be true, what's the catch?

I knew it. What is it this time?

Get In the Water

★POSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDONPOSEIDON I GET TO HEAR STEVEN RODRIGUEZ'S VOICE AGAIN WHAOOO THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE(ANCE SAGA)★

Oooh, the temperature just skyrocketed 🥴

YESSIR I'M DIVING 🚣

Poseidon <3 you can do whatever you want, it's fine bbg <3

I mean...an eye for an eye ig?

Damn, trying for open arms one last time? 🥹

What just happened? Why the water sounds

AAAAAAA

AAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAA

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE MENTIONED IT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

JAY STOP REPRISING "OPEN ARMS" I AM NOT GOING TO LIVE TO THE ITHACA SAGA AT THIS RATE

EURYLOCHOS???????

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow that fucking HURT.

Six Hundred Strike

The title is making me nervous....

Damn, that's some boss fight music.

That's the Aelous theme tho? Is he gonna use the wind bag???

WHERE'S THE CHORUS COMING FROM?????

YOU TELL HIM ODY!!!!

STORM REPRISE!!!!!

FULL SPEED AHEAD REPRISE!!!!

What an anime ahh attack name /pos

So like, are... the ghosts... helping him...?

But...he didn't open the bag tho :/

Bitch are you THREATENING A GOD????? Also beating us over the head with that "gods can't die" thing, huh? (ATHENA ISN'T FUCKING DEAD YOU MORONS)

That's the same melody as "Different Beast"!!!

...the fact that I have no visuals kinda dampens my understanding of wth just happened. Can someone fill me in? For now I'm choosing to believe he chucked a Uno reverse card at his forehead.

Even Poseidon is like "damn, chill bruh"

"Next to my wife" Oooooooooooh FUCKING OWNED

[chemicalarospec]

My Death Note Playlists (prt 1 of my fav lyrics)

They're basically all "emo" btw.

I have two: the full playlist

and the "canon compliant" version -- which does NOT mean the songs support a canon-compliant interpretation, but that they were released before 2010. Canon timeline, you see, ignoring the 9/11 thing. (I'm a little more picky with this one in general.)

Okay now I'm just going to highlight my favorite lyrics that I blorbo brain all over (predominantly Light, and lots of Lawlight ranging from platonic murder to romantic lovers to romantic murder). It will be long, so here's a cut!

I'll pick out songs going down "full playlist" in order.

"Liar (It Takes One to Know One)" by Taking Back Sunday

Obvious, but "we're all choir boys at best" deserves attention. "It takes one to know one" shouted at the end -- all of Light and L knowing each other better than anyone.

"Juneau" by Funeral for a Friend

"I'm nothing more than a line in your book." Hey, I didn't say all these connections were good.

"Spin" by Taking Back Sunday

The whole thing is very Light to L.

"Looking for a Tornado" by Chiodos

Maybe I got a little lost while searching for my faith stuck to your cross You set fire to everything around [...] Do I believe in love; do I believe in heaven? (At the sound of church bells, they come running) All my clocks stuck on eleven; afraid if I hit my knees, I might get nothing

^ Lawlight /romantic intent /sexual intent

This is the sound of your savior running in need of anything to save you from nothing

^ bonus God/savior complex Light

"Always and Never" by Silverstein - "Don't have a heart attack"

"War Crimes" by Waterparks

kinda Light and Misa. "I wear a smile that's about a mile wide" lol. and "My death will be the fandom [sic]" for L.

"The Words 'Best Friend' Become Redefined" by Chiodos

The title as their fake-friendship-with-murderous-intent. Lyrics as romantic dying Lawlight. +"To hide from our twisted ways/I've been hiding in this bed"

"Fist Wrapped in Blood" by Silverstein

I love toxic couples. Cannibalism couples. Violence couples. (Some tntduo vibes in this one too, xoxo tntduo, still kinda my OTP.) "A Midwestern State Of Emergency" for similar reasons (we got the wild line "Bound and gagged but I enjoy it") + "Your saving grace, my final rites"

"One Day All Women Will Become Monsters" by Chiodos <3

That title but also "Always being the blind villain" -> Blind Lady Justice Light Yagami!!! + "Rip the haunting smirk from his face"

"Thank You for the Venom" by My Chemical Romance

Now I want to listen to Three Cheers looking for Death Note songs. (If I wasn't still finishing tntduo demolition lovers, Death Note demolition lovers would be sooo in.) Anyways: "I keep a gun on the book you gave me."

"Hard to Breathe" by Hawthorne Heights

"I spent my whole life lying/I just got caught." This one gets a big heading b/c that line is still the working title for my Light fic (yeah, it'll get posted. one day).

"There's no Penguins in Alaska" by Chiodos is a rare Misa moment on the playlist.

"Timberwolves at New Jersey" by Taking Back Sunday

"Literate and stylish/kissable and quiet/that's what girls' dreams are made of" and "This is you trying hard to make sure that you're seen/With a girl on your arm and your heart on your sleeve" = Light. Plus, the "me at my worst (committing murder)" theme of second half of the song

"Where Can I Stab Myself in the Ears" by Hawthorn Heights - "This is the ending, here's my surrender" & the complementing each other bridge theme. and lying.

"Why the Munsters Matter" by Chiodos

"I don't want to fit into your world/your heart/I hope I scare you"!!!!! It's NOT what happens in Death Note but it IS what Light and L are about IN MY HEAD.

"Ole Fishlips is Dead Now" is another rare Misa song. The "she's in love with herself" line but the subject is Light.

"Goldmine" by Paper Tigers

(link leads to song b/c the band is pretty indie)

Maybe that's something I admire Maybe you've made another enemy of me ... You goldmine Every little thing that you say It blows away my mind ... They say that pride proceeds the fall And that the sword is weaker than the pen

rare L to Light song on the playlist

"Your Sword Versus My Dagger" by Silverstein

Another Discovering the Waterfront track. "I'm cutting through, you're bleeding out/And I would tell the truth, but I can't help myself" + "I wasn't asking for the world" as another Light inverse/lying line (or kinda Misa) + "And I can see your face, and I can hear your name" in reference to Death Note rules lol.

"Is it Progression If A Cannibal Uses A Fork?" by Chiodos

"Listen up, sweetie!/We all know that you're a beautiful girl in this horrible world." - Light lol

"The solemn tolling of the funeral bells. I want to know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours where everyday's a Bone Palace Ballet."

"Divine Intervention" by Taking Back Sunday

rare soft song -- cutesy by Lawlight standards

Despondent, distracted You're vicious and romantic These are a few of my favorite things ... Something real, make it timeless An act of God and nothing less will be accepted ... We're stubborn and melodramatic A real class act

~a little skipping ahead to songs I wrote up out of order... part two will probably come next week!~

"The Brothers Karamazov" by The Used

all of it. but especially "I'm more than just my father's son" as an inverse of Light who is so little more than the son of a cop, "I see myself in everything I hate about you/I shut my mouth to stop myself from sounding like you" as him and L, and "Take me away from who I could become" as the conflict between Light and the influence of the Death Note.

"Chemicals" by Armor for Sleep

Lyrics about "you" dying ("I can picture your coffin"!!!) and the general vibe and:

And I’m on my back, on your floor. Tell me how you fooled the world again, I like how you laugh when you tell it

^ both L and Misa work. Light's evil laugh.

Play dead, cause I’ll be playing dead with you. I’ll play you when you’re dead in a year or two.

^ Light pretending to be L after he's dead.

"Three Simple Words" by Finch

"My hand's around your throat/who will stop me now?" !!! throwback to "Until the Day I Die", which I didn't highlight but also has "hands at your throat". I like the aggressive & repetitive usage in this song better. Light to L, of course.

Tune in next week for more of the same! (btw I had a lot going on so it's still not up but will edit this when I do it)

[mysticalthingphantom]

Hey! I wanna get to know my Swiftie mutuals. Tell me your top 5 songs and albums from her. Feel free to go into depth/explain if you'd like!

hey!!! meowdy! ( yup, i read your bio and agree) nice to meet you! i'm sorry for all my lore but it is hard to talk about things i love without bringing personal matters with it. i feel like i can talk about taylor lyrics without trauma dumping so i am truly sorry for the things i wrote. but since you said you want to know your mutuals here i go!

TOP ALBUMS

1 - folklore: it is such an ethereal experience for me. i love how all the stories in it are connected in some way and the way she could create so many details for all the characters tbh i feel like i could have been any one of them and in some ways i am. i love how every song feels like summer rain, is comforting and vulnerable. i was the first album of her that i felt i could relate to 100%. is my all time favorite.

(now the positions after folklore vary depending of the day for me so i may change them later)

2 - the tortured poets department: i know is new and everyone is freaking out about it but for me that's one of the most honest pieces of music i have ever listen to it. i keep caught on all these debates about to whom she wrote it but is so stupid because these songs were never about anyone BUT taylor. she could have dated anyone and still wrote these masterpieces, it isn't about a man, it is about taylor swift. and she put SO MUCH of her heart in it that i can feel it. all that anger, all that pain, all that fear it all came from her. she is the artist. i know some critics say is easy to write 31 songs if they all look similar (haters gonna hate is so fucking true) but for me as an inspiring artist is a relief to know you can create different things about the same topic and don't feel ashamed about it. you can write about the same theme a thousand times and guess what? it can be a thousand times different because it will be a thousand different parts of yourself. everything about ttpd is so beautiful ( plus dead poets society references makes it perfect bc is my favorite movie)

3 - evermore: follows the folklore aesthetic and vibes. marjorie? champagne problems??? tolerate it???? Does she have a hidden camera in my backpack or something?

4 - speak now: i'm nineteen wtf she wrote something like THAT when she was nineteen?????? this album is so magical, It has some of the fantasy she later put on folklore and evermore but with more joy and cheerful melodies. listening to speak now is like opening my favorite book over and over. i wish i could be emma falling in love and i wish to live a timeless love and i wish i could sing long live with my friends/found family after winning a battle. i just love it all so much and never grown up? i listened to it when i was packing my things to move out of my hometown so you can imagine how much i relate to it. castles crumbling is also so close to my heart because i constantly feel i'm burning bridges and fucking things up. so yep all these fears of loneliness and failure goes present in this album goes deep .

5 - midnights: as a HUGE fan of the moon ( the moon is my true soulmate and i don't care if it "just a sattelite"or a "bunch of rocks and dust glued together" because guess what? i'm also a bunch of universal dust glued together) the whole celestial aesthetic of the album hits me like a train. all these confessions, these letters, these maniacal thoughts i have after the sun sets are not only mine. i love how she hugged me through these lyrics and showed me that everyone is haunted by ghosts after midnight. but the night time isn't just a place for nightmares, there is also hope, and joy and good dreams.

TOP SONGS

1 - mirrorball : since the first time i listened to it all i could think about is "someone finally sees me"

2 - the archer: she saw right through me. i am so scared of being seen because if someone sees me, if someone truly knows me it would hurt 1000 times more being rejected by them.

3 - you're on your own, kid: i lost all my friends after high school, literally no one of the fucking people i used to talk to every day and go to their houses and remember their birthdays. all of the people i used to open up to, the people i used to cry and laugh with just didn't reach out anymore and i know it is half my fault but it made me realize how truly alone i am as a human. It doesn't matter how much you connect with someone you are always on your own at the end of the day and she literally summarized that feeling in a fucking song.

4 - i can do it with a broken heart: because you still can be a mirrorball even when the ones you built the show for have left.

5 - the lakes: dead poets society vibes and i'm also a poet and i also want to run away.

6 - renegade: (you asked for 5 but here is a bonus track for you haha <3) i sing that song is a platonic way because it translates so much of my relationships with my friends and family. i sing along thinking about them and i know they could sing thinking about me because of trauma and miscommunication is such a top topic in all that.

[presumenothing]

ZHOU SHEN: UNCONDITIONAL SURVIVAL

translated from 《人物》 magazine, part 1 of 5 | main post

Proof of Existence

Last December, on the recording day for CCTV's New Year's Eve gala, Zhou Shen walked onstage and realised that there was an audience in the seats.

"Like a lifetime ago"; it'd been so long since anything like this. To hear the audience's cheers from such a close distance – Zhou Shen felt that was the single most important moment he experienced in 2022, "because it'd been too long without such close communication", "to have people hearing you sing, that utterly real sensation hitting you in the face". That day, Zhou Shen sang with little restraint, wanting to properly enjoy this moment when he could have such a face-to-face dialogue of emotions with the audience.

It was three years ago when he found himself abruptly quarantined at home, recording two full episodes of Singer 2020 with his back to the white walls of his home. From then on, amidst the waves of the pandemic, he'd gradually grown accustomed to singing to empty broadcast halls; voice gliding out along the microphone, and perhaps it would reap an audience's response at some point in the future, but never in the present.

To a singer on the rise of his career, this was an immense regret. "Personally I've always felt that a singer's greatest charm must be at live performances. No matter that you might not be able to perform a hundred percent perfectly when live – we'll definitely have some notes floating off now and then, we're human after all – but that's the charm of live performances. Everything you are is right in that moment."

Even so, through the screen, Zhou Shen was reaching more and more audiences.

In the past year, Zhou Shen has almost continuously appeared on various shows and stages. Our interview was conducted at 7:30pm two days before Chinese New Year; throughout the first half of January, he was busy with rehearsals for CCTV's Spring Festival gala, and on the same day of our meeting had still gone to a publicity event for The Wandering Earth 2 earlier in the day, having performed the defining theme song 人是_ for that movie. After the interview's conclusion at 9pm, he would still go on relentlessly to his next assignment. And on CCTV's Spring Festival gala just the next day, Chinese New Year's Eve, he once again appeared on televisions in the living room of each household.

Especially in this new year period, Zhou Shen has practically been the one artist with the most onscreen appearances. He participated in New Year's Eve galas across four networks, so regardless of which channel you switched to, there were always glimpses of him. Within one night, he presented eight songs to the audience, and even that would understate his diverse richness. In just one song of 四大名著连连看, he'd already demonstrated four different voices and singing styles, like seemingly endless treasures to be drawn forth from his pockets. "A bringer of surprise" – that has become everyone's tacit expectation of him. 

Yin Yue, the lyricist and producer of 大鱼, is also Zhou Shen's good friend of many years. In her view, Zhou Shen is an especially "well-armed" singer: "He has every cold weapon you could possibly want, and can also give you that bombastic kind of hot weapon. He can perform with incredibly fine detail, or the etherealness of fantasy and ancient styles, or brimming with explosive power… his performance is suited to many occasions, and he's capable of mastering works across many styles and genres; that's why he's been able to be seen and heard by so many people in various settings and stages."

Zhou Shen too has always wanted to shatter the labels and boundaries that the wider world has put on him. "Because my [initial] characteristic and style was very obvious, perhaps everyone's first thought would be 'graceful and floating'; that's a very good side to it, but afterwards it seems like people end up using that one impression to narrow down your capacity", and thus he is always using new changes to overwrite that rigid impression. 

To be seen and known, to Zhou Shen, is almost like finding his own "proof of existence": "Because in the past there would inevitably be [some people] who listened to me singing out of curiosity or so-called 'exoticisation', but now that everyone has started to accept that Zhou Shen's voice is just such a voice, and then going to hear me sing again, I think that'd make a difference in their mentality too."

Thinking back to eight years ago, when participating in the blind auditions for The Voice of China, Zhou Shen heard such a muttered comment from beside him before he'd even gone on stage: "Can someone who looks like that even sing?"

At a New Year's Eve gala several years later, a friend in the audience told Zhou Shen after seeing his performance: "I'm gonna cry!" Zhou Shen was confused – why cry at such a lively event? His friend said: "Because when you went onstage, the voice of the audience members around me were all that this guy is really good at singing, we must listen to him properly. What you hear won't be those words from that blind audition anymore."

A while back, one of the music directors from The Voice of China sent Zhou Shen a message over WeChat: "I'd never thought you would have this much power stored away later on." He had thought that Zhou Shen could astound everyone, but little had he expected that Zhou Shen could make everyone stay.

(part 2)

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 18/07/2023

The expanse of meme in past was split, A fiendish trap has now been set; Behind a tree the villains sit, Terror of sport, the Robbie's Net.

Season 5 Featured on: The SiIvaGunner Spooktacular Halloween Horror Special: Curse of the Fallen Angel

Ripped by Blookerstein

In deciding what would be todays post, I had to make a REALLY hard choice between this rip and the equally as excellent When the Impnosktor is Void, both by the same ripper made under the same event. They're both absolute titans of Season 5 and rips that never leave my mind, but I have to play toward my We Are Number One bias just this once.

You may recall (or have just seen, thanks to the reposts) that I covered a We Are Number One post very early on into this blog's life, throwing bunches of praise onto Nape Mango's ability to wield it in Chillin' Like a Villain. While I did touch on just how cool its been for the YTPMV community to have the entire WANO stems and source files available for use, what I wish I'd sold home even more is what that has LED to: A bunch of WANO arrangements with moods and theming wholly different from the original's ska silliness. That's of course notable in Chillin' Like a Villain itself having a far happier, more holiday-cheerful vibe to it due to its original song's instrumentation, and on the complete opposite end of that you find...todays rip, that I won't be spelling out the name of for obvious reasons. This time, shit's SINISTER.

Through the mixing of WANO's instrumentals and the source track's organ backing, this insane boss theme manages to retain almost every aspect of its original oppressive mood despite being sung by Robbie Rotten from LazyTown. Its an absolute treat to the ears to try and decipher what parts of the original WANO are being used where in the song, so densely layered together specifically to create that same dark atmosphere. I think my favorite part althesame is the vocals - in a way, the goofiness of Robbie's original performance starts to fade out of focus thanks to this aforementioned atmosphere, leaving nothing but the overacted villain role performing with full sincerity. Near the middle of the song there's some really clever and well thought out spacing and added reverb to the vocals to specifically make them sync up with the hits of the original song, and it just hits so perfectly. Its not a mere mashup or an automated conversion, but filled with tons of these small little tweaks and layers of depth to ensure the song's full potential is realized.

I remember both this rip and its other potential candidate for the day having a sort of reverance upon being uploaded, due specifically to the sparceness of Hollow Knight rips on the channel before them. The SiIva team have a tendancy of responding to fan requests in a very tounge-and-cheek way, which they'd done previously in the season with Hollow Knight as well, but on this day - the Grimm Trouppe's 4th Anniversary, in the midst of the season's Halloween event - everyone was celebrating with genuine quality. Blookerstein is one hell of a guy to committing to this anniversary as hard as he did, and trust me, he WILL show up again in the future.

[uzumakisavior]

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 (with relevant lyrics) .

Share at least 5 songs that you associate with or remind you of your muse!

SUGURUUUUUU Geto —

Paint the Town Red #1 Yeah, bitch, I said what I said //Geto KFC break up I'd rather be famous instead (walk on by)// Becomes Buddhist Cultist I let all that get to my head // His downfall and Yuki's Convo I don't care, I paint the town red (walk on by) // Murdered 112 and counting. The fire in that village. x2 Mm, she the devil She a bad lil' bitch, she a rebel (walk on by) She put her foot to the pedal It'll take a whole lot for me to settle (walk on by) Mm, she the devil She a bad lil' bitch, she a rebel (walk on by) She put her foot to the pedal It'll take a whole lot for me (yeah) to settle (walk on by) Yeah, said my happiness is all of your misery I put good dick all in my kidneys (walk on by) // Gojo...obviously

Applause By Lady Gaga I've overheard your theory, "Nostalgia's for geeks" // Memories of youth I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read // He understands that intrusive traumatic memories are too painful to relive, so he decides to distance himself by taking on a new identity One second I'm a Koons fan, suddenly the Koons is me // One second I defend the weak, suddenly I they're punished by me Pop culture was in art, now art's in pop culture, in me // I abided by the moral of the majority now the majority abides by me/(my moral) I live for the applause, applause, applause // I mean....you know...star plasma vessel, yes? I live for the applause-plause, live for the applause-plause, live for the- Way that you cheer and scream for me The applause, applause, applause // I Just love the idea that he uses his trauma to mock the lay people.

Empty Walls (This song reminds me of the village Suguru has burned) Your empty walls Your empty walls Pretentious attention Dismissive apprehension Don't waste your time On coffins today When we decline From the confines of our mind Don't waste your time On coffins today Don't you see their bodies burning? Desolate and full of yearning Dying of anticipation Choking from intoxication Don't you see their bodies burning? Desolate and full of yearning Dying of anticipation Choking from intoxication I want you to be left behind those empty walls Taunt you to see from behind those empty walls

Ungodly Hour Song by Chloe x Halle (How I feel his love for Gojo would be in a song. This entire song screams satosugu to me) Hit me with your eyes I never seen that kind of view You walkin' over here The way that it went down, that's when I knew We be talkin' all night But I can tell you need to work on you, you, you Like you, you, you, like you Like you, mmm You be playin' sweet But, baby, don't you know that talk is cheap Can't fool me I wish that you could back it up for me, me, me Like me, me, me, like me

Go Forth and Die by Dethklok Trapped inside a box Four long years Hiding from the world Punished by your peers Studied teachers words Staff appointed hearts Earned a piece of paper No go forth and start Go forth, be conquered Go forth and die //The song about the disillusionment of higher education and its true, consumerist underbelly motivated by fear....not much different than the themes of JJK, sorcery, and its abuse of the youth. I think Suguru would relate to this. Newly graduated sorcerers go forth, just to be conquered, and more go forth and die

BONUS!!!! Bongos by Cardi ft Megan thee Stallion

Thick bitches in a black truck, packed in Eat whoever in my way, Ms. Pacman // Eating curses Hermes, made a real big purchase // Toji Purse so big, had to treat it like a person // Suguru's new pet worm

Any song with Megan and Cardi makes me think of Sato and Sugu, just saying

Tagged by — @ashestxashes

Tagging — anyone who ever reads this

[lifeofkaze]

The Vaulties - Day 1

BEST SONG YOU VIBED TO WHILE CREATING

My most music-heavy story of course has got to the Rockstar AU fic When Stars Ignite. I'm usually not one to listen to music while writing, but this story was just different on so many levels.

Each of the many many chapters is prefaced by a rock song that mirrors the story in either lyrics or mood and when I saw today's theme, I *immediately* knew which song/chapter to nominate:

The very first time I listened to Alive by Arrows to Athens, I knew this was going to be my song for the finale of the fic.

The energy of the lyrics and the beat, the defiant yet hopeful mood, it all created an image before my inner eye that was so vivid like nothing I had ever experienced before. Even now I immediately see the events of that part of the story play before me when the first notes hit, and it gives me the feels every single time.

To me, this couldn't have been more perfect💛

@hphmmatthewluther

also @the-al-chemist because that gif is too perfect. Cheers🌻

[jamboreeofsurprises]

i had just, the most incredible and visual dream last night and i really dont want the imagery i experienced from it to fade. hopefully typing a written record about it will at least refresh my memory of it any time i return to it.

so, i was in a crummy motel with my aunt and grandma, i was sleeping in as it was early morning but i heard faint traces of what was on the tv. lots of people performing songs on stage. i heard a pleasantly good cover of running up that hill by a soul group called Mystery so i looked it up on my phone for later, but the search results also informed me of something very valuable: sparks were about to go on on that very same show that was airing right now. as soon as the show host announced their presence, i started cheering and whooping loudly which startled and annoyed my aunt as she thought i was still asleep but apparently i can pull myself awake for sparks lol.

and this is where dream logic comes in, because i was both still in that motel bed and also there where the show was being filmed in the audience. now, they weren't going to perform live, which i was a bit disappointed in at first, but the stage inexplicably became a gigantic triptych screen, slightly folded inward on the outer screens, think like the garden of earthly delights by bosch (fittingly). ron and russell were there to announce the debut of this special sampling of their new album and it would indeed be an hour long which i was excited about (aunt was ambivalent). they came into the audience to personally greet/thank the fans for showing up in support and i, despite being far in the back, received a handshake from both brothers, ron noting that he remembered me and apologized that "nothing is as exciting as the first time meeting i know but thanks for coming." i thought, what a classically ron thing to say!

the screens went on and a pan of the audience was shown. camera was on me for a second so i ruffled my bangs that were out of place and i heard a few friends of mine cheering for recognizing me, lol. embarrassing but funny.

an animated intro began for a new video of an extended the girl is crying in her latte. this was faithfully recreated 30s-style animation of a mop (?) falling into a river and stating the name of the song in a child's voice while a latte cup poured tears into the river. there was a further extended intro involving the chosen four from earthbound and pokey also talking about everything we were about to see and i was on the verge of messaging everyone i know about what i was seeing out of sheer disbelief. not sure how this was relevant in retrospect but i was absolutely not gonna complain

then began a really grand animated video showing cartoon girls throughout the ages going in semi-chronological order, in styles faithfully recreated and some being actual iconic animated girls, shown crying over various scenarios in fast transitions. i was immediately hit with 'oh they finally had the absolute budget and it is paying off so hard.' black and white animation became early 30s painted animation and czech and soviet stop motion and cutout animation, and at some point anime gets introduced and the video gets a lot more experimental as the animation starts warping and transforming on itself and i swear the extended version of the song also does some interesting and unique things, picking up more instruments and more of an orchestral flair as it progresses, getting a little bigger every time as the visuals become just plain hypnotic. sailor moon was also there crying about tuxedo mask and had a dedicated verse in the song, Somehow. it all just got so kaleidoscopic and every corner of the three screens had something to fix your eyes on, almost grotesque in a good way as the figures abstracted to the point you could barely tell they were girls crying. it was a really fascinating tribute to the medium of animation and the theme of cartoon girls crying throughout the ages over very different things was so fun. i wish i could remember what more of the extended lyrics were but i thought to myself, what we got with the cate blanchett video really was only a tiny sample huh - this is absolutely the way this song should be experienced.

the cheering was really thunderous even if sparks fans only comprised a pretty small amount of the show's total audience, those of us who were there were in shock and awe at everything we were seeing. in real life i actually woke up a few different times to turn off the fan, turn off my alarm, etc and was greatly relieved that the dream picked up right from where i left it each time i fell back asleep. i'm not usually lucky enough for that to happen. in the dream i got on twitter a few times to tell my friends, you should really be here, i'm scared that this is a dream because it's all too amazing it might not be real. i know a video for an extended veronica lake came on shortly after - i think ron and russell also showed up to thank everyone again inbetween. they were dressed in suits and looked very proud of their creation. and i guess that's the basic extent of what i remember.

[iceiceparis]

Assigning Star Rail cast the songs they would sing in Yakuza/Like a Dragon karaoke along with the cinamatics.

1. Tail - Bakamitai

He's the most unfamiliar with emotional attachment so he def the type to rather just sit in a room and drink helio-whiskey instead of showing any real affection as a green ball floating above a stool.

Of course the pictures being replaces with his moments with Huohuo in his mind cuz hes basically her family now 😭😭😭

Also its funny cuz Huohuo would be too scared to sing but the gang somehow got him to sing so she has to akwardly stand off the stage nearby so he has his wifi connection.

2. Caelus and/or Stelle Judgement -Shinpan-

Its all about breaking za law and they always say that "Rules are meant to be broken." They would be into that cheesy image of cool.

March (or even the other Trailblazer) would be in Nishiki's spot with Dan Heng or Welt as the keyboard player as they rock out.

3. Caelus - 24 Hour Cinderella

Of course both TBlazers can be interchange able but I like to think they have their own slight personality differences.

In their mind this would have a March theming in colors and outfits and who ever they first think up as the background dancers. He did this to out-idol and out-cute March, somehow gets a higher rating from the machine at the end.

4. Stelle - Machine Gun Kiss

Much like Caelus, this is her way of out-cooling Welt even though he sung a completely different genre of song. Also gets a higher rating but just barely. She especially would really ham it up especially on the end with the "aaaRRUUHHGGG!!!" like Adachi.

5. Clara and Svarog - OtoMetal MY LIFE

The name alone should be enough. Small child with a red and white color scheme with a menacing seemingly emotionless legendary guardian with a deep voice? Heck yeah it works.

First, she asked for him to participate in karaoke,

Then she asked he do the actual back up vocals instead of replaying the built in cheers. After a few songs, Svarog began to understand the energy he had to put into the vocals.

6. Sushang - The Future I Dreamed of

Both Ichiban and Sushang dream to be a hero who does good and with friends even if they have more heart than brains.

Basically are both shonen protags who hit things with metal objects with a big smile on their face and never back down even at impossible odds (unless its ghosts).

It wouldnt even matter if she could hit the notes either because she rarely sings due to her training, Sushang would put in alot of effort in her singing and that alone is enough.

7. Bronye and Seele - Like a Butterfly

Seele and butterflies, what else is there to say.

Bronya singing the softer vocals with Seele complimenting it with more "aggressive" back up matches their dynamic pretty well, also its funny imagining her going all out on a song and going "Oh yeahhhh."

8. Guinaifen - Spring Breeze

"All the pictures that I could take,

All the gigs these videos make,

None of it replaces the you that I know.

But they'll be there after you go."

I mean cmon, this is easily her singing to her SQUAD outside of her streaming stuff. 'Blazer, Sushang, Huohuo, they would all be in her imaginary MV as she sung. Would be one of the better singers in raw quality.

9. March - All Idol songs + 3x SHINE

I am certain she would be a bonafide idol if she had the opportunity. All the interjections are basically any of the Star Rail passangers minus Pom Pom unless she convinced him its an essential for the sake of the ride.

Even someone like Dan Heng would be going off with their interjections she just has that latent power.