#Thats not funny either im sorry

[faithtrustnsball]

mom got me diagnosed with anxiety lol!! can you say “Klonopin” lol!!!!!!!!!!

im sorry that wasnt a funny joke

[valtsv]

Homophobic bioterrorist. Someone should put you on a watchlist

yeah this post is definitely worth subjecting me to the violence of state surveillance over i agree someone get the FBI's top agents on this one right now

[neodiekido]

apparently there's a restock of some of the danganronpa plushies which reminded me:

it is so fucking funny they have kiyo in this batch but not kiibo. no hate on kiyo fans but it is just so funny that he's in and kiibo, the one with an ahoge and who survived until the end, is not. once again robophobia rears its ugly head

[brainrotisseriechicken]

this is so niche its insane. im sorry.

(clefdraki as the two other indonesian (former) presidential candidates. what the fuck am i even doing.)

save me ganies clefdraki save me

[moonilit]

people sometimes assign the ‘girlboss x malewife’ trop to Dickkory, when really i don’t think thats them, they both equally badass and equally traumatize, Kory is very feminine, and outside of her perception of modesty is lady like while Dick is fairly masculine, Kory was put in the damsel in destress position before while Dick is this man in command and leader all the time, what works for them is that they actually respect each other, communicate together, and let the other do what they are good at doing

Kory is a girlboss she is a worrier princess who is growing to be a strong and powerful but compassionate leader who would literally one day be a Queen! Dick is not really a malewife, a malewife would be taking on a traditionally feminine gender role leaving the more masculine ones to his wife etc. Dick doesn’t really, he didn’t even organize his apartment until kory showed up. no Dick is a king, a powerful ally, an incredible leader and a brilliant mind capable of gaining the trust and respect of the world superheros to the point they will follow him anywhere. They complement each other, they are a power couple, a King and Queen!

other tropes i could see them fall into are that add extra flavors are

Star Soulmates obviously

Favorite human

married Couple lol

(if you ship them all the way Dick would have like 17 new siblings, so: Big family older brother with many siblings plus the one who lost their own)

You can also insert extra flavor depending on how you like writing them like both are touch starved but specifically for a kind touch because they been hurt a lot. sunshine and sunshine protector but mutual because they are both each others sun and its very cold snd dark without the other around laughing and smiling. Traveling through time and space to find each others in every universe. Looks normal… but when you get to know them… they both a special kind of insane. Hot couple. Etc.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

idgaf the helmet is part of magneto's sex appeal. to me.

[squeeblub]

apollo is like that one kid whos name u only found out later wasnt actually their first name but was instead their middle name bc their first name was embarrassing as hell

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

[psybrepunk]

Sometimes I like to remember back in 2020 when I fell HARD for Nick Valentine and was reading every NSFW fic I could find and anyways there was this one smut one-shot where Sole undoes Nick's trousers and he's got an LED LIGHTED CYBERDICK and I've just never really gotten over the shock and mental image of that

[dailykugisaki]

Day 332 | id in alt

More special than Gojo? Always, duh.

[sonknuxadow]

thinking about the part in the most recent twitter takeover where sonic calls commander tower who very awkwardly invites shadow over to dinner to meet his grandchild . did they think nobody would notice that they already did that in shadow 05 or is the implication here that shadow never went to that first dinner so the commander just keeps inviting shadow to his house over and over until he finally shows up

[bisclavret]

another thing that would've happened if they'd kept writing morgana compassionately past s2 even as she turned against camelot and if gwaine stood by the moral code they introduced him with in s3 is that he'd straight up take her side like "there is so much injustice in this land caused by the noble class morgana is so cool to oppose nobles even though she's a lady the same way i am rejecting my birthright as a knight we are both paving our own path and opposing injustice we have so much in common <333" he'd be all moon-eyed over her the way he is for merlin and morgana might even be flattered but she'd ultimately have to reject him on account of coming into her own as a humongous lesbian 😭 damn gwaine nobody want u fr

[determinedowl23]

big day for gay people (it’s me i’m gay people)

[belphegored]

This might be my hyper sensitive touch averse ass speaking but I feel like my f/os and I have that kinda chemistry on which they could run a hand over my forearm and I would get so wet, knees buckling needing to take a break go smoke a cigarette because I'm simply not used to it and it's too much

[telesodalite]

.

[istherewifiinhell]

"youtube videos about how ai cat videos are the new elsa gate of kids youtube" i know the blowing up dead peoples brains by showing them modern stuff is overstated but i do just think like. with the "watergate" ification stuff. like could we try.