#That's the reason for the joke

[ominous-faechild]

✦ Beach Episode Tag ✦

Joining in on these open tags by @the-golden-comet and @jev-urisk!

What would your ocs do in a beach episode? 🌊⛱️ Can they swim? Any activities they would particularly love or hate?

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, Daleira, Valyarus, Soren, Grimnir

Characters from the Arcane Rifts: Gene, Tazin, Mislav, Ludmila, Rada, Alyona, Ivan Oska, Rieka, Liesel, Nikolai, Damaris

Featuring tAR's characters mid-book 2, respectively aged (listing because there's lots of timeskips throughout the series and Gene literally starts it at 7 years old, so it's uh... very relevant): 15, 17, 17, 17, 16, 19, 24 32, 29, 34, 31, 33

Sun and Shadow

Freya

(assuming it's before SaS begins--) Absolutely loves the ocean! Would create herself a little reading nook under an umbrella and right up against the waves, so the tide would occasionally sweep over her feet (while her chair keeps her and her book(s) comfortably dry)! Might even get a surfboard and try to learn how to surf--I mean she's lived by the ocean for so long! Why hasn't she learned yet? (after SaS has begun--) Terrified of the ocean and stays FAR away from the water. Much more comfortable making sure everyone else's stuff stays dry, thank you very much! Still makes a reading nook under an umbrella, though.

Crow

Has never actually been on the beach despite living their whole life in a port city! Spends at least 10 minutes in a bubble of darkness Daleira made, debating what to do, before finally deciding to enjoy the beach! Turns on their anti-curse charm to turn completely human and walks out from the shade like a boss. Acts like a little kid spending their first day on the beach. Did not listen to Freya, did not put on sunscreen, and ends up with a nasty sunburn! Turns out, even normal humans sunburn! The fuck???

Daleira

Hides under the umbrella with Freya! Was the one to make Crow's darkness bubble (and sassed anyone who questioned the giant bubble of nothingness following behind her on the way there) while they decided what to do. Tries going in the water a few times, but hates how the bubbly waves feel on her skin and fur and abandons the idea pretty quickly. Spends a majority of the time she's not under the umbrella collecting shells! Alsoooooo spends a majority of her time there cursing out the sand. Will (literally, with her magic) completely destroy every single grain of sand from everyone else's bodies before and after they leave. No grain of sand escapes. Not. One.

Valyarus

The asshole who spreads his stuff out obnoxiously far to claim as much space as possible even though it's a public beach. It's debatable whether he's doing it intentionally to piss others off or just because he's just that clueless of common decency. Spends a majority of his time sunbathing and doesn't touch the bajillion things he brought and are actively taking up beach space. Gets in an argument with someone's dad about how disrespectful he's being, but just mocks the man. Gets the cops called when the dad tries to punch him and he instead slammed the dad into the sand, knocking him unconscious. Had a great time!

Soren

Lying dead or unconscious in the sand. (Would've been the dad Valyarus knocked out, but no. He was there long before that. Hope he's okay, though!)

Grimnir

Still has every single bit of his skin covered in one type of clothing or another despite being on the hot beach. Yes, with the leather trenchcoat collar flared, turtleneck sweater, gloves, wide-brimmed hat, and one of his signature masks affixed over his face. At least he's under an umbrella. It is unknown how, but he survives the day without heatstroke. Spent a majority of his time people watching and didn't ever go in the water. Maybe he was there for a case?

The Arcane Rifts

Gene

Puts on an obscene amount of sunscreen because he did a deep-dive research on beaches before they went there. Carries out all of the suggested "beach activities". Forgets to have fun because he obsesses too much over what he "should" be doing. Also hates the feeling of the sand, the sounds of kids screaming, and so many sensory things associated with the beach that aren't commonly discussed. Isn't diagnosed with autism because "it doesn't exist" in Glavnran, so doesn't know about sensory overload and can't accommodate for it. Which is an absolute mood btw, sorry, Gene. Still gets a bad sunburn despite repeatedly putting it on every two hours even AFTER the obscene amount he started with. Screwed over by his genetics again. Dammit. Why can't he just catch a break? Oh, right, because I'm writing him.

Tazin

Spends the first half hour randomly shouting at Gene that he won't put on sunscreen and that he won't burn. Even though Gene dropped it after asking the second time. Bickers with Mislav about this exact thing. Spends a majority of his time trying to set sand on fire, testing the sand-to-fire ratio for it going out, and messing around with the waves. Actually plays in the water, hangs out with Alyona, and enjoys himself! Not that he'll admit it. Only gets a minor sunburn despite never putting on sunscreen. Gene silently seethes.

Mislav

Spends the first half hour anxiously playing with the sand to ignore his body issues and periodically shouting back at Tazin to shut up and that Gene dropped the sunscreen thing a long while ago. Eventually gets reassured by Gene that it's okay, there's nothing wrong with him, and puts on his swimming trunks to go into the water. Despite his previous worries, genuinely enjoys his time at the beach! Didn't put on sunscreen anywhere near as obsessively as Gene, but still put it on. Gets a minor sunburn. Mislav glares at Tazin in his (secret) boyfriend's stead and emphasizes with Gene for his sunburn. Picked out a bunch of pretty shells for him though! Gene appreciates that.

Ludmila

Is convinced by Gene to put on sunscreen every few hours, but spends a majority of her time under the beach umbrella. Hates the heat, and only occasionally goes into the water when urged to by Gene, Mislav, and Rada because it'll cool her down. Won't admit it, but hates that they're right. Despite everything, does enjoy herself because she got to watch everyone else have fun. Guess the "leader" thing never dies, even when you're trying to relax. Only got a very mild sunburn! Still hated the heat. Poor ice mage.

Rada

Doesn't need convincing on the sunscreen thing, because she helped Gene do the research. Figured out how to make a magical timer with rune magic before they got there and sets it to go off every two hours to remind everyone to reapply sunscreen. Only Gene fully listened, though most of the others reapplied at least once. Alternates between walking on the shore, looking for shells, and spending time with Ludmila under the umbrella. Definitely didn't sneak peeks at her two crushes while she didn't think anyone was looking. As such, she also didn't enjoy the sights and nobody had a thing to suspect about her motives for convincing everyone to go to the beach. Didn't get a sunburn. Pities Gene.

This was really fun! I would highly recommend you guys trying it out!

Tagging (with no pressure): @the-letterbox-archives @honeybewrites @yourpenpaldee @darkandstormydolls @themboty + anyone else who wants to join!

This is part 1! Check out part 2!

Divider by @cafekitsune

[critter-creature-or-beast]

The third one looks cool

[brinnanza]

ceo of united healthcare i hope you die I hope you die I hope you die screaming and soaked in piss I hope you step on a lego I truly wish you the most pain it is possible to survive at irregular intervals to prevent numbness or getting used to it

i need to replace my iud and I'm going to commit a felony murder or arson

[cooper-blogs]

i think we should publicly execute every CEO

[stump-not-found]

great talks to have before shooting bill with a big gun

src

sharing just the lines too because i worked hard on themm

[prlssprfctn]

Jason, who is constantly making death jokes, and gets back a "dgaf" kind of answers from his siblings. Which he is... used to. Firstly, because it is what siblings supposed to do, be mean to each other, and secondly, because... they are not wrong. His death didn't mean anything. No one cared much about him dying. Yes, they were bothered that he died - a kid, a son and a brother, had died. Everyone mourns dead kids, he wasn't special. Right?

So, he is fine with whatever he gets from his brothers. He often laughs back, even his laughter sounds far too strained to his ears. But, honestly, whatever! It is fine!

Until once, it isn't.

Maybe it is just a bad day. Or maybe his death anniversary is getting closer, and he gets more anxious. Nonetheless, he makes another joke - something about warehouses and crowbars; so, nothing new - and gets a usual funny-snappy reply back, something along the lines And no one cared. And he just huffs, his smile turning to a scowl, and before he can take it back, he shrugs.

'I know.'

Suddenly, it is too quiet in the room. And suddenly everyone is staring - confused, hurt, slightly surprised, even. Jason tries to laugh it off, to make them stop looking at him with so much pity, but his forced laughter sounds too much like a certain clown's in his insane, tired mind, and he ends up murmuring a haste farewell, before practically running away from the cave.

He thinks someone tries to call him back, but he ignores it.

The defeating silence and the looks of pity haunt him in his dreams for the rest of the night.

[vaultnewt]

NO MATTER WHERE I HIDE MY DONUT FRYER NICK ALWAYS FINDS IT AND USES IT

I'M SO SICK OF HIM

HOW?!!?!?

NICK. NICK STOP MAKING DONUTS PLEASE NICK WE NEED TO BREAK INTO THE INSTITUTE AND GET MY SON NICK PLEA

~~~

UPDATE: he finally got his donuts :]

[bet-on-me-13]

Bruce owes Danny money. He does Not want to pay up.

So! Danny had to run away from Amity Park when his parents discovered his Powers. But every time he tried to stay in a single place in America, they somehow managed to find him.

Turns out, they were working with the GIW to track him using the GIW's resources and the Fenton's Genius to find him everywhere he ran to. Eventually, Danny figured he had had enough and ran to Europe where the GIW had no Jurisdiction.

After wandering for a while, Danny was found and recruited by the League of Assasins. He was powerful, skilled, and connected to the Lazarus Pits, so they approached him with a job offer.

They would hide him from the Fentons, who had began to search for him in Europe independently, and in return he would work for them as an Assasin.

Considering his situation, Danny agreed.

He began training to be an Assasin, supplementing his Ghost Abilities with the abilities of an Assasin to become even more Stealthy.

While training under the League, Danny met another recruit simply known as Bruce. They trained together for years, even going on a few missions together gathering intel, and using disguises to hid in plain sight.

On one of these missions, Danny lent Bruce some money with the promise to get paid back when they returned to the League. That same night, Bruce left the League of Assasins and never came back.

...

Bruce was sitting in the Batcave going over a case with Tim, Jason was off to the side cleaning his Guns, and Dick and Cass were holding an acrobatics competition in their Obstacle Course, with Damien, Steph, and Duke cheering them on.

Suddenly an Eldritch Emerald Light sprang to life in the center of the Batcave, and everybody dropped what they were doing and sprang to action.

Slowly, a glowing green figure emerged from the Light. He appeared Eldritch in Nature, as if he existed in multiple layers of reality at once and looking at him gave them minor headaches. Then, the figure spoke up.

"BRUCE. ITS BEEN 15 YEARS. YOU STILL OWE ME 16 DOLLARS."

Recognizing Danny, Bruce took a moment to compose himself before responding.

"Fuck Off."

[bkyngw]

i find it absolutely hilarious that melinoë and hermes seem to be the only ones able to completely understand charon despite the difficulties

[franeridart]

I love dragon btw

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny's type in FNAF is so obvious...

[thatsbelievable]

[nocek]

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine yesterday and I just had to XDDD

beware the SPOILERS! I mean not really but better to be on safe side ;)

[lilacpaperbird]

american tiktok refugees have flooded rednote/xiaohongshu and this is how chinese wincesties are responding to the antis lmao

Translation:

To Wincest Haters

1. All foreign Destiel shippers must add honorifics when addressing Wincesties.

2. Foreign Destiel shippers are not allowed to interrupt conversations between Wincesties

3. Foreign Destiel shippers must greet Wincesties every morning and evening.

4. Posts by foreign Destiel shippers must not exceed 14 characters, must include punctuation, and cannot include include any offensive or disrespectful remarks. Posts with emojis ranked first in Xiaohongshu are prohibited.

5. Foreign Destiel shippers are forbidden from using stickers/memes.

6. Foreign Destiel shippers must obtain permission from Wincesties before sending images or voice messages.

7. Foreign Destiel shippers can only post 10 comments per day; exceeding this limit will result in a ban.

8. Foreign Destiel shippers are prohibited from posting any information that defames Wincesties.

9. At 10 PM a curfew will be imposed on all foreign Destiel shippers.

[charowon]

Throwback to the Circe Saga

[lazylittledragon]

what if i broke all the bones in your legs actually