#That's not even all of it but I'm not sure how to phrase some of the things in interesting ways

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Would love to hear your thought on meowrails break up and who they end up with?! Especially interested in Hal <> Nepeta!

Ok! Just a disclaimer before anything: this is not at all saying you shouldnt ship the meowrails, this is just a canon discussion blog and I have noticed... some stuff... but ship whatever you want, I literally don't care, all HCs are valid, etc. etc.

"Everyone has an important job to do." This is a phrase that gets repeated in Hivebent a few times, which makes it important, as Homestuck often uses repetition to build up an "internal lexicon" and deliberately highlight when situations have similar connotations (Hussie discusses this on their Formspring). So what's the context for this specific phrase? Well, it shows up three times, and for at least two of those times, it's associated with failed moirallegiances.

GA: But It Just Means Theres Got To Be Someone Around To Keep An Eye On Them GA: And If Not Me Then Who GA: Everyone Has An Important Job To Do AG: Ok, so you're spying on me. Kind of creepy! Man, m8y8e you should get a l8fe.

And

CC: I will need to connect after my goofball moirail does so I can keep my goggles on )(is nefarious escapades. CC: Its a toug)( job but its important! Everyone )(as an important job to do.

So, okay, apparently the context of this phrase is "this person is in a moirallegiance that will NOT work out"... well, here's the third time it pops up (though it's the first time chronologically):

Your best pal of all is A LITTLE BOSSY, and people wonder why you even bother with him. But someone has to keep him pacified. If not you, then who? Everyone has an important job to do.

So... hm. This isn't the only thing I have to say about meowrails breakup, but it is the most prominent one, and maybe the most damning, depending on how much weight you put into Homestuck's oft-deliberate use of parallels.

Maybe something a bit more damning is the way Hussie speaks about them in the book commentary? Pretty much every time they turn up, he has some comment to make about how Equius doesn't really "need" Nepeta, and about how he tends to talk over her and usurp her agency, like so many shitty boyfriends IRL.

We don't know much about Equius yet, but we get an awful lot of info about him with this excerpt. He's racist, a huge snob, doesn't like swearing, is stern and controlling, has a patronizing fondness for Nepeta, and thinks archery is cool because of its association with nobility. Combine this with the snapshot of his room we'll see soon, and suddenly we have an extensive character portrait. This was all important to establish quickly, because it helps us understand in record time that Equius is in fact one of the greatest characters ever created.

Equius says he appreciates that Nepeta's angry. I guess meaning that he respects an angry disposition, like his own. Especially early on in his characterization, it's suggested he has anger issues (like him taking his rage out on robot dummy combatants). But I'm not sure this trait holds up. Over time, he seems to show a lot more passion about his weird stuff, his passion for archery and muscular horse men, his submissive obsessions, his deference toward those higher on the hemospectrum and fetish-like indulgence in depraved attraction toward those lower. Ultimately he comes off more as a ridiculous nerd, with a soft spot for a lot of silly and creepy shit. My view on this is, it's not that the text lost track of the fact that he was supposed to be angry. It's more that this was his initial state of mind early on, and the more he started blowing off steam with his various indulgences (Aradiabot, etc.) the less he had to be mad about. We just meet him at a really high-strung point in his life. I think it's more accurate to say his "anger" is a form of hyperintense focus on being stern, aloof, proper, and averse to nonsense, which is a facade serving to cover up his inner personality, which is barely in control at all. Like Nepeta suggests, deep down he wants to play the kinds of silly games she plays. He wants to let go completely, and indulge every ludicrous and depraved whim he has. His arc tends to be more about caving to these indulgences, and all the mixed consequences that follow, than resisting them.

Here's [S] Equius: Seek the highbl00d, another playable RPG game. [...] But Christ, why am I talking about that garbage when we are about to review some truly choice material focusing exclusively on your favorite meowrails. It is a great illustration of their tragic dynamic; deeply committed and caring partners in the diamonds quadrant, and yet compromised by Equius and his stubborn class-driven faults, his pathological reverence for his superiors, his forced and probably not genuinely felt sense of disdain for lower bloods like Nepeta, and ultimately his failure to rise above these flaws when presented with a real test of character and friendship. A test imposed, of course, by a boorish murderclown, who from this point onward just ruins fucking everything, constantly.

Hussie is an unreliable narrator (of the "he's deliberately playing a character who's biased, opinionated, and sometimes wrong, because a major theme of Homestuck is that you have to question who's telling the story and if they can be trusted" variety), so it's difficult to parse exactly what he's saying is salient, especially since he talks so damn much. But even so, he constantly goes out of his way to highlight how the meowrails DON'T work out - which is even pretty canon in the comic.

In Hivebent, the two are established as working along this dynamic: Nepeta soothes Equius's anger issues, while Equius keeps Nepeta from recklessly endangering herself (for example, prohibiting her from LARPing). But as Hussie says, Equius's anger problems become basically nonexistent by the time Murderstuck rolls around, and his actual problem is his overindulgence in his fetishes; meanwhile, his bossy, controlling attitude to Nepeta was always kind of suspect, but it actively becomes a source of frustration to her that she can't wait to shirk (he bans her from talking to the humans, and she goes behind his back to do it anyways - even celebrates when Karkat gives her express permission).

In the end, they die for their failures as a moirallegiance - despite being fresh off a feelings jam in a pile, and so, supposedly at their least likely to hurt themselves or others, Equius's horny gets him killed (Hussie has always maintained across multiple platforms that Equius could've easily overpowered Gamzee, he just chose not to because Hot), and Nepeta doesn't listen to his orders to stay put. In later conversations with ARquiussprite, Equius is always framed as the one here who was wrong - who failed to keep Nepeta safe and has something to apologize for. I think it's also pretty important to notice that in the bubbles, Equius is never seen doing so - but IS seen being really weird to Aradias - fully implying that he's actually been avoiding taking accountability to Nepeta in favor of indulging in his fetish shit, out of shame and guilt.

As Hussie says, the meowrails are an important relationship, and when I say they don't work out, I don't mean they shouldn't have been together in the first place. On the contrary; I think they actually were good for each other, way back on Alternia. Nepeta DID keep Equius's frustrations in check, and Equius DID keep Nepeta out of trouble. But as time went on, Equius just got really comfortable with treating Nepeta like an object he owned - something convenient, which he can use when he's feeling sad, and ignore otherwise - and Nepeta started growing frustrated with his increasingly petty control. They grew as people, their needs changed, and they stopped being good for each other, but they stayed together - out of inertia and sunk cost fallacy on Nepeta's end, and on Equius's end, because it was convenient and pleasant (for him) and useful (for him) so why would he throw it away?

While this is something I think could potentially be worked out with relationship therapy, the thing with Homestuck is that it's big into the idea of soulmates, especially in the pale quadrant (which is described with that exact term). Its ultimate thesis on romance is that, while you have to do a lot of personal work in order to be the kind of person who can BE in a soul mates relationship, ultimately a relationship SHOULD have an element of just... easy compatability, idiosyncracies clicking together in just the right way to bring out the best in both parties. It's idealized, and there's criticism to be made about that, but that's still ultimately how romance kind of functions in Homestuck. The perfect match is out there for you, and while you have some growing to do in order to be ready for it, it's supposed to be easy once you get there. Consider how Eridan can calm Karkat down literally just by talking to him normally, or how Sollux regularly outright professes that Feferi's just fucking amazing - these are relationships where the involved parties don't need to tell themselves "everyone has an important job to do" with grit teeth to justify keeping the relationship going.

Meowrails lacks that inherent compatability, according to the evidence, but of course, that brings up the question of who they SHOULD date in pale instead. Hey, did you ever notice that Dirk (and by extension, Hal) are EXTREMELY Equius-coded?

So here's the thing. Hal's favorite alpha kid is Roxy, who is also pretty Nepeta-themed, being a cat-associated Rogue. They regularly flirtLARP with each other, but when we get a glimpse of this so called flirtLARPing, it's actually Roxy almost, but not quite, getting Hal to admit that he's actually not really that into Jake, he just feels obligated, as an extension of Dirk, to make DirkJake happen. They almost, but not quite, have a feelings jam.

Meanwhile, Hal outright calls his conversation with Dirk, as Dirk grapples with whether or not he should kill Hal, a "feelings jam", and Dirk also has a convo with Caliborn about how maybe he should consider the merits of selfcest.

What these interactions hint at, to me, is Nepeta <> Hal, and Equius <> Dirk... and I think if you consider it from the standpoint of their personalities, it works, too?

Nepeta is pretty consistently shown to have a knack for knowing how other people actually feel. Her shipping charts are incorrect in terms of compatability, but she's got a scary knack for reading intentions and desires - as befits a non-destructive Heart player. She's able to pinpoint that Eridan's advances on her are insincere, but he's not that bad a guy; she notices that Karkat is a big softie who loves his friends so much; she correctly reads that Equius is a big ol' goofball who loves to play games. Hal, as a Mind player, and even more as originally being a Dirk splinter and an AI, is deeply distressed by his lack of "self"-hood; it's Roxy who calls out first and most blatantly that he's clearly his own guy with his own real feelings, which seems to be why he gravitates toward her. Nepeta would do this even harder, since it's kind of her entire Thing, and I think Hal would really appreciate that, since Hal is at his worst when he thinks he's acting in someone else's best interest (Sylph lol).

Meanwhile, what Nepeta really needs IS an enabler. She's a rebellious soul with radical ideas about how the hemospectrum is stupid and dumb, and she's RIGHT and she should SAY IT. Hal's amazing at giving people what they "want", pulling strings to ensure DirkJake happens, while also framing it as something that Jake would want - this bombastic, action hero kiss-in-front-of-a-volcano. Nepeta's clearly attracted to characters with Equius-esque qualities, but after spending so long with Equius, who does nothing but push her down with a patronizing "hush, greenblood, it's for your own good," I think she would do well with an insane partner in crime who instead goes "fuck yeah girl, let's make this shit happen." Especially since her personal insecurities are that other people will find her dumb and silly (an impression that Equius certainly didn't HELP with...) - having Hal in her corner going "uhhh you're literally my favorite and I will engineer situations to fall directly in your favor?" would be a huge help to her.

I'm actually not entirely sold on equius <> dirk - they're maybe too similar? - i have in my notes here john <> dirk and equius <> jake. idk. the shipping web starts to get complicated

[alice--pallas]

While Alice didn't fear that the information would turn Abraxis away, she did feel a sort of relief that he was now aware of this important knowledge. It certainly wasn't the most important fact about her past but a vital one nonetheless. She smiled at them when they expressed their gratitude for her honesty. It was strange, learning how to trust someone in this way again, after so long. Initially, she'd really just been looking for a fling and some intel, a fact that she sometimes felt a little guilt over--but she couldn't have known that it was going to turn into something so much deeper and meaningful. And yet, even now, there was a small worry in the back of her head that wondered if Abra knew anything about what had happened a few nights ago in the graveyard. She wanted to believe that he couldn't have but right now, there really wasn't any way to be 100% sure. She supposed that, per usual, she'd just have to trust her gut. To be fair, her gut usually lead her in the right direction--usually. I have questions but I want you to know that nothing you could ever reveal about yourself would alter my perception of you. She smiled at these words, though she found them interesting as well. To her core, Alice had a strong moral compass and therefore, she hadn't had many moments that she was truly ashamed of. No, she didn't feel great about her prior addictions but she didn't beat herself about them, either. Being such a loyal person, she had never betrayed anyone that she cared about--that being said, though, she did wonder what would cross Abraxis' personal line of what they personally deemed to be reprehensible. Giving them a small smile and a nod, she said "You can ask your questions if you want."

In retrospect, perhaps she shouldn't have used a phrase that was commonly used in wedding vows. For better or worse. I un-ironically like that sound of that. Giving a small chuckle, she said "You know what I mean." Of course, she didn't want to push away the romantic notion of what Abra was hinting at (and maybe joking about?) but at the same time, they were far from any kind of commitment like that. Furthermore, Alice was almost positive that she wasn't interested in getting married again for a long time. If she were ever to do that, she had to be sure it was the one--and even then, did that really make a difference? She'd been so sure that Alec was the one and look how that one had turned out. She was more than content with taking things slow as they had been. For example, they hadn't even had the 'what are we' conversation, mostly because they both felt satisfied with simply enjoying each other's company.

Though she was admittedly a bit surprised at their confession to having acted entitled, she did appreciate their honesty to come clean about it at all. Besides, from the sound of it, they were purely referring to interactions that they'd had with the hospital staff--they hadn't mentioned her family, though she was certain that they'd crossed paths. All this to say that if they didn't want her knowing about it, they hadn't actually had to tell her--and that honesty meant everything, even with something so seemingly trivial. Then again, being kind to others wasn't really trivial at all, was it? "Thank you for telling me," she said, her blue eyes earnest. "I'm sure it's been stressful for...everyone. But I appreciate you being on your best behavior," she said with the slightest of chuckles. "Besides, I can't really blame you for flaring your temper--I'd probably have done the same." Abraxis hadn't seen it, and she bashfully hoped they'd never have to, but Alice knew a thing or two about having a temper herself. She'd certainly raised some hell when she'd been a bit younger and louder, that was for sure.

Mystery is part of the allure. Smirking, she said "It certainly is." Of course, it wasn't just Abraxis working through the layers to get to her core--she'd also been doing the same thing, trying to get to know them on a deeper level. "That's part of the fun, though, isn't it? Putting all the pieces of the puzzle together?" she smiled, tracing her fingers along their well-defined arms. She'd much rather have this conversation wrapped in their arms in their bed inside their dark, antiquated home--naked, perhaps. She supposed that this sterile hospital room with beeping monitors would have to do for now, though. "I'm hoping I don't have to be in here much longer..." she said, unable to push away her current predicament from her mind.

She couldn't lie--she'd half-expected Abraxis to insist that she no longer pursue this, voicing their worry for her safety and in fact, when they'd started to respond, that's where she thought they were going. It was the perfect ploy--to be resolute in asking her to please stop looking because someone could come after her again or even worse, her daughter. They use the guise of fearing for her safety, all the while, keeping her in the dark about whatever nefarious deeds were taking place. That's why when they said 'We need to prove it,' she couldn't help but look at them in amazement. "You...want to help me?" she asked, fighting a smile. Perhaps... What you need is help from someone on the inside. Alice's eyes lit up at the suggestion--that together, they could get to the bottom of this. It did, of course, cross her mind that this was also a good ploy--but then again, maybe she was just being paranoid. After all, she couldn't possibly forget her hallucinations in the graveyard. She was scared and that was understandable. But maybe, just maybe, she really could trust her lover.

“i can see that it has impacted you—and still impacts you now,” abraxis murmured, their words a deliberate cadence of reverence. there was an elegance in alice’s resilience, a quiet yet commanding strength that stirred something ineffable within them. it was breathtaking, an understated radiance that rendered her more than merely captivating; she was a pillar of survival, a poignant reminder of why she held their interest so effortlessly. while alice was right about the need for the right time and place to unveil her story fully, abraxis inclined their head in a gesture of deep appreciation, their gaze steadfast. “thank you for choosing to share this with me. i consider myself fortunate—honored, even.” their voice softened, a tender veil drawn over the delight that hummed beneath. they were enraptured, eager to map every intricate contour of her soul. still, questions lingered like specters at the edges of their mind, threatening to surface, yet they withheld them for now, choosing instead to offer gratitude in its stead. “i have questions,” they admitted, their voice a low murmur, “but i want you to know that nothing you could ever reveal about yourself would alter my perception of you. these things only draw me closer.” there was a  quiet intensity in their words. their pull toward her was undeniable, a gravitational force as illecebrous as it was inescapable. the phrase for better or worse tumbled through their mind, a notion that once clawed at their subconscious, shredding their sleep with fears of vulnerability and ruin. yet, when abraxis tried the words aloud, they found their lips curling upward in an unbidden chuckle of felicity. “for better or worse,” they echoed, the phrase a tender musing that left them bashfully self-aware. a slight cringe danced across their features, as though the intimacy of the sentiment had caught them unprepared. “I un-ironically like the sound of that,” they confessed, a quiet laugh trailing after, fragile yet sincere.

what do you mean? “i mean that,” they added after a breath, their thoughts slipping momentarily to the painful recollection of that first night. shame weighed heavily upon their shoulders, tugging like a child’s relentless grip on a parent’s ankle—innocent yet unrelenting. “i am, as we speak, in the process of rebuilding a rather dismal rapport with the front desk staff,” they admitted, their tone self-deprecating. “while i didn’t exactly cause a scene in my efforts to see you the first time, i may have ruffled a feather or two.” they bowed their head slightly, humility etched into every line of their expression. they hesitated, their voice dropping to a near-whisper, heavy with contrition. “i managed to rein in my temper, but i behaved… entitled. i’m ashamed of it.” their lips pressed into a thin line, the faintest flicker of self-disapproval shadowing their gaze. “i’ve apologized to the staff, but i owe you an apology as well, in case you find my behavior as embarrassing as i do. i promise—no, i swear—to be on my best behavior from here on out.” it was more than a vow to her; it was a covenant with their own integrity, one made in the silent chambers of their conscience.

a slow, deliberate grin unfurled across their lips as alice’s teasing words reached them. her question—playful, provocative—was a spark in the quiet. oh? have i been some great mystery to you up until now? the curve of their mouth was lopsided, unevenly charming, the kind of smile that hinted at mischief lurking just beneath the surface. their eyes glimmered with a wicked yet soft light. “mystery is part of the allure,” they replied, their voice a rich, rolling timbre that carried an intimate warmth. in her presence, despite the frigid air outside, they felt as though they stood in her apricity, basking in her glow as a raven might perch upon the bare boughs of a willow, warmed by a rare winter sun. “but understanding,” they continued, their tone deepening, “is the reward. and in that aspect, i’m a rich soul.”

something is happening. the story began to unravel between them like smoke spiraling into clouds, its shape elusive yet undeniable. abraxis, despite the shroud of secrecy they had wrapped so tightly around themselves, could no longer remain hidden in the mist. within alice’s steady gaze, they felt exposed, as though her insight pierced through the veil of their carefully maintained diversions. “i agree,” they conceded finally, their voice dipping into a heavy quiet. “you can’t put yourself—or rhea—in any further danger.” the nod they offered was a solemn gesture. “but if you think you’ve uncovered something amiss…” the thought lingered, unspoken fears curdling like ink in water, darkening the clarity of their mind. their gaze sharpened, a flicker of steel beneath the velvet of their tone. “we need to prove it.” the suggestion hung in the air, cautious yet resolute. despite the gnawing dread at the edges of their consciousness, they knew alice was right. against their better judgment, and even their instinct to shield her from harm, they whispered their agreement. “you have to see it through.” their teeth worried at their lower lip as they considered the repercussions, the ripples of this decision stretching far beyond them both. “perhaps… what you need is help from someone on the inside?"

[lgbtlunaverse]

Thinking of the Nie disciple that told Nie Mingjue it was Meng Yao who stayed behind to clean up corpses on the battlefield today.

Nie Mingjue didn't just randomly stumble upon poor lil meowyao eating bread in the novel, he was already looking for him to thank and reward him for his work.

That's what makes it so fun that nieyao's first conflict will end up being about someone else taking credit for Meng Yao's work.

And I'm sure that Nie Mingjue's actual opinions on plagiarism are a lot more nuanced, all we really get from him in this scene is "well you shouldn't kill someone over it!" which leaves a lot of room for what punishments he thinks are appropiate. But I bet that it isn't occuring to him in this moment that the only reason he knows Meng Yao at all, the only reason he got such a capable deputy, is that he noticed someone was taking care of the dead and cared enough to want to know their name. And then the Nie disciples didn't lie to him. The disciple he asked could have said "it was me, Zongzhu" to rise in the ranks himself, but he didn't. He went and asked others, who all also could have taken the credit, but they didn't. Someone saw Meng Yao working and decided to be honest about it and that simple decision is the catalyst for Meng Yao becoming Nie Mingjue's deputy.

Meng Yao can't just work hard to get results, others have to acknowledge that work. If they don't, it's as if he didn't do anything at all.

[dotpyenji]

happy bisexual day to those who celebrate

[celtrist]

Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet

[sysig]

Sweet dreams, for a time (Patreon)

[eldritchneuro]

Analysis can be wild because sometimes you'll end up with something insightful and then other times you'll be headshotted by something so incredibly cursed so suddenly that you wonder how the fuck you got here.

Anyways, Jesus Christ has still not apologized for his warcrimes in Korea and China

[unproduciblesmackdown]

what if we held on to whatever we get the idea of as Normal as unquestionable & think all you can do to this normal is apply some veneers overtop it to be more polite & also resent that. maybe we could project that everyone who seems to be Annoyingly Disruptively doing more than this must be putting on a performance to look good &/or humor others b/c that's all we ever believe we're doing, & again, we resent even that much....maybe we could use our show of More Polite language to make the same points blaming everyone who our Normal mistreats for their own mistreatment

[gxtzeizm]

.

[drawbudd]

okay so I've been thinking about this for a while and.

Grimwalkers. Let's say them and Caleb seen in season 3 weren't hallucinations and were real, and any dead grims go to GrimWorld and idk. Hang out with the others for all eternity I guess

Since you can see the spot Caleb was stabbed in (because of the tear in the shirt) but not the actual wound (no blood) how do you think that works

Please reblog if you've voted! I wanna see what the general consensus is in the fandom

[giantkillerjack]

Thank you, younger me, for drawing so many things in which the lines were never quite right. It is quite literally the only reason I ever figured out how to get them right.

[icantalk710]

📱😪

[midnightclover]

4 11 and 15 for the ask game? :3

4... see, the most important part of a fishing minigame isnt the minigame itself, but the rest of the game around it. so this is kinda difficult. id mention a bunch of examples but.. it got kinda long, so lets skip to the punch, yah?

a short hike has the best fishing minigame ive seen. the minigame itself is simple, just mash a, and it's hard to fail, but the fun comes in with trying to find out where each type of fish lives.. you end up trying every little spot of water on the island, and finding rarer and rarer variants! its just a fun time (also once you find one of each fish you can talk to the fisherman on the boat and get a gold fishing rod which finds rare variants easier)

11. favourite berry? hm... raspberry. kinda close between raspberries and blackberries

15. a quote from a game that lives rent free in my head.. theres quite a few to pick from. i'm not sure what to choose.

ah how about this? even though it's been ages since i've played it, i still occasionally have himiko from fucking danganronpa v3 in my head going "Nyehh...."

[raspberryflo]

Not only are you not scratching the surface, you don't even know where you're digging

So to preface, a couple years ago I joined a Minecraft server with a big group of friends, where every now and again, they would come over to my House. And I thought it'd be really funny if I changed the House ever so slightly but always insisted that it was exactly the same, so occasionally when they'd come over they'd say, "Is this room different...?" and I would do my best deadpan sincere voice and say "no, it's always been like that! :D". Since I live in Europe it was really easy for me to exclusively work at night time for them, so from their point of view I was never really online. So over the course of probably like a year and a half, I just kept Extending The House. Every so slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. I kept making strange rooms with no purpose. Hallways that connected only to each other. Doors that lead to nowhere. Until finally one day, I logged in and there was a new room that I had Not built, and a new staircase that had definitely not been there before. Eventually I stopped adding onto my House because when I would log on it would be different anyway. Without me even doing it. One time I logged on and there were balloons. One day I logged on and my house was made of netherite. I realise it was my friends finally noticing the tomfoolery I'd been pulling for over a year and doing it back, but I like to believe that I'd committed to the bit of my house Growing for so long that I'd accidentally hexed it and it truly did begin manifesting its self :)

Except. the strange happenings did not stop there. Under the cut is all of my memories of unexplainable, weird and just generally Fucked Up things that occurred in my Minecraft House

Before I begin I think it’s important to note that I built this house because I was listening to The Magnus Archives and thought “oh hah hah a house that keeps changing that’s the kind of funny thing that would happen in a spiral statement” except it stopped being funny when it actually started happening. And when it just didn’t stop

There was a room full of mannequins that NOBODY KNEW ABOUT because it was very well hidden, except, when the final server download of the SMP was made available, all of the mannequins had MOVED INTO MY HALLWAYS.

There was a hidden ventilation system that allowed me to move between rooms that weren't usually connected, so I could essentially teleport between far apart rooms without being seen

My basement was only accessible through a 'fake wall' which was a minecraft map that I had put inside an item frame, except the map looked exactly like cobblestone, so it blended in to the rest of the wall. Nobody noticed for like half a year

The basement contained a glass room with a creeper inside of it and a sign that said "DON'T LET IT OUT". One time I logged on and the creeper had become a block of bedrock

One time I logged on and my house was surrounded by black and yellow 'police tape' I don't know who did this

Probably the most fucked up part is that my house became HAUNTED after a while by a server admin with a really creepy skin. They had programmed it so whenever they left spectator mode, it would play a really loud thunder sound and emit smoke particles. They kept showing up in my house literally just to mess with me and make fun of me. But the worst part was they'd made it so they wouldn't appear in the online players menu so I genuinely would not know if I was being watched or not, and like, there was a really high chance that I was being watched because this guy's new hobby was scaring the shit out of me by exploding into existence in front of me in my own hallways but I could Never Know For Sure. So I lived in constant fear. They turned my own home into the panopticon.

Said admin also gave me swaths of illegal items so my house eventually grew a room dedicated to contraband that literally not even the owner of the server could obtain. One time I logged on and a polar bear was in there. Okay

I dug a tunnel from my basement to the neighbour’s house only to discover that they had a HUGE painting of me on their wall inside their basement. I closed that tunnel. They did not mention the painting to me ever

One time a friend managed to get admin but the server owner forgot to deop them. She turned all of my walls into netherite and bedrock, and to hide that this had happened from the server owner, we COVERED THE OUTSIDE WALLS from top to bottom in PAINTINGS. It looked ridiculous. IT WORKED

There were 5-ish bedrooms and none of them were mine

I logged on after my birthday to see my front door adorned with balloons addressed to ‘Charlotte’. My name is not charlotte. Nobody on the server is named Charlotte

The guy who got admin and never had it removed also put stalagmites inside my roof somehow. The server owner did some magic to revert the roofs back to wool, but the stalagmites didn’t fall down, so in my lovely cozy kitchen there are various dripping stalagmites hanging from the ceiling

They also turned my dinner table into bedrock and placed an end crystal on it, so immediately upon entering the front door you were presented with what was essentially a nuke that would explode the house if you even looked at it funny. It never exploded

There are entire CHUNKS missing from underneath my house due to me mindlessly mining away entire tectonic plates of the earth. The caverns are so big that there is fog down there. At one point it started to form its own biome

It had a pond that whenever you placed a fish in it the fish would disappear. Even if the fish was named, the fish would disappear.

A friend was hosting an event and I was supposed to have found the invite in my mail box. My house does not have a mail box, instead I found the invite almost a year later buried under like 10 blocks of dirt a couple hundred blocks away from my house in a forest

The server’s monorail got extended to my house, except there’s nothing beyond my house, so the monorail just stopped. This meant that upon arriving at my house via train you would instantly fall off the railway and die

I forgot to mention but the vents are filled with water. So if you get lost in the vents, which is very easy to do since it’s pitch black, you will probably drown to death in my walls

The curtains look like red banners but they are actually white banners which have been dyed half red, half red

I built a lot of custom trees around my house to make it less ugly since it was REALLY ugly but one day I logged on and all of the leaves in the surrounding forest were Gone. The rest of the server had leaves, it was just my general blast radius that had suddenly lost all of its leaves, so my house ended up being surrounded by a bunch of tree skeletons

Apparently my house has a Girlboss Containment Chamber (?)

I always wanted to play hide and seek in my house since it was so big, so I added lots of small nooks and crannies which you could hide in. We never played hide and seek so now my house is just filled with tiny hiding spots that nobody knows about except me

One of the various kitchens had furnaces that were always burning despite there being nothing actually inside of the furnaces

All of the chests inside of the house are filled with glitched maps that do open, but have literally nothing on them any more

The snow around my house gradually was turning into white carpets and I had to keep replacing them with actual snow

THE SECOND most fucked up part is the time THE VOID consumed my entire world. I logged on and realized I was trapped in my house and that the door wouldn’t open, so I ended up breaking it down, just to find everyone else on the server appeared frozen in place. and it just didn’t change. I was online for like thirty real life minutes while watching someone who was online stream it properly and nobody moved an inch. I ended up wandering around the server in this limbo state like a ghost until I noticed that entire chunks of the world started VANISHING. I tried (increasingly panicked) asking for help but my messages would take like 10 minutes to send and by then it was too late anyway because the entire void corrupted the world, and I fell into it. I didn’t even die I just fell for tens of thousands of blocks into the void and this entire time I was recording it because it was genuinely kind of spooky EXCEPT. THE RECORDING. VANISHED. INTO THIN AIR. It wasn’t even in my recycle bin it just was GONE. This has never happened to me since and from the streamer's perspective, I was just stood in my house the entire time, right behind the closed doors.

Babygirl my minecraft house is fucked up in ways you couldnt even imagine

[bloomries]

yeah so my husband— my husband?!

includes : lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, and belphegor.

summary : calling him your "husband" (even though you two aren't married yet) to see his reaction.

warnings : gn! reader. mention of marriage. suggestive (in asmodeus'). the word 'husband' will begin to look strange bc it's used so much, apologies.

LUCIFER

You just meant for it to be a harmless little prank, something to tease Lucifer with later when you two were alone, perhaps gauge his reaction to the idea, but after you said 'yeah, so my husband...' Diavolo's eyes grew as wide as the moon and you instantly regretted your prank idea.

Diavolo clasped a hand on Lucifer's shoulder, beaming. "You finally asked!" This statement went over your head as you tried to quickly take back your words, Lucifer's blanched face making it clear he'll definitely be scolding you later. "But it seems I missed the wedding? Oh well, I'll just host you another wedding so I can see it for myself!"

"Ah, L- Lord Diavolo..." Lucifer sends you a glare as you smile sheepishly. "We aren't- I haven't-"

"How do you both feel about a chocolate fountain?" Diavolo is already off in his own little world, imagining how he'll plan out your wedding. Lucifer decides he'll inform Barbatos of the prank, and have Barbatos deal with it- Lucifer already has his hands full with you. He pulls you aside as Diavolo talks to himself.

"Do you see what you've done?"

"Sorry..." You fake pout, batting your lashes up at him. "My darling husband will surely fix it though, right?" Oh, how can he stay mad when he truly likes the title so much. Perhaps this will make asking you to marry him easier? You surely seem to enjoy the title just as much.

MAMMON

Mammon is always trying to listen in on your phone calls, he's nosy and likes to know all the gossip. Today in particular though, he's trying extra hard to hear, clinging to you and making you unable to do other tasks whilst on your call.

Deciding to tease him a little, in hopes of getting him off of you, you sigh dramatically into the receiver. "I'm sorry, my husband needs my attention, one second."

And when you look down at him, his eyes are wide and shiny, a blush quickly forming on his cheeks. Him? Were you talking about him? He's your husband? A giant grin takes over his features and it seems your little prank has the opposite effect you wanted, as he takes the phone from you.

"Yeah, sorry, their husband- that's me!- needs 'em!" He boasts proudly before hanging up the call and clutching on to you tighter, burying his face into your side, his grin not changing in the slightest.

You sigh, running your fingers through his hair. "Rude, I was trying to talk to someone, you know." Mammon shrugs, not a care in the world.

"'m your husband, I take priority."

"You know you're not officially my husband yet, right?" Shit, you're right. Well, that'll change soon, don't you worry one bit! Mammon knows how to take a hint, and there'll be a ring on that finger soon enough!

LEVIATHAN

You and Levi were playing an online game, chat on full blast, when you decide to tease him- because it's just so fun to see his flustered expression, and you have an inkling that this'll give him some motivation for the game. "Ah, hubby, can you help me with these guys!"

"H- Hubby!?" Leviathan's neck nearly breaks from how quickly he snaps to look over at you, you seem unphased though by the phrase- as if it came so naturally. His heart skips a beat, his grip on the controller tightening. "W- Where are you, I'll come help!"

His gaming friends are all blowing up the chat box, some getting on voice chat just to ask what that meant- 'was Levi actually married?,' 'He was a husband?,' 'Since when!?,' 'Congratulations!,' etc.

Levi would have gotten more flustered, had he been paying any attention to said friends, but he's much more focused on proving he'd make an excellent spouse by rushing to where you were in the map and one-shotting all the enemies that surrounded you.

The battle is quickly won thanks to Levi, who puffs out his chest with pride. You lean over from your gaming station adjacent of his, and press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, hubby~" His cheeks grow a rosy pink, and he pulls his headphones off to give you a serious look.

"Let's get married."

SATAN

"Oh husband~" You call, "Can you help me get this book? I can't reach!" Satan peaks his head from around the corner to give you a questioning look. Who were you calling husband? He watches you struggle, leaning his frame against the door with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I don't remember proposing." Satan watches as you deflates from his lack of reaction to your prank. He sighs, walking over to you and helping you reach the book, tapping it on your head lightly before handing it over to you.

"You're no fun, you know that?"

Satan has a feeling this was definitely set up by one of his brothers, and he'll definitely be getting his revenge on them for making you do this (and for making his heart hammer against his ribcage uncontrollably). Still, he hates to see you upset in the least, so he lifts your chin with his finger and thumb and sends you that smile that sends shivers down your spine.

"Don't be upset, you'll get to call me husband soon, okay?"

And he truly did mean that, he already had a ring, which sat heavy in his pocket. He just wanted to make sure you had the most perfect proposal, something straight out of a romance novel- because that's what you deserve. Soon, soon you'll be able to lovingly call him 'husband' whenever you wish.

ASMODEUS

Asmo is live-streaming again, doing a little grwm-type video, with you off to the side/in the background. As he begins to do his skin care, he asks for you to take over and chat for a little while for him, so you peak your head into view and wave at his viewers.

"Hello everyone!" You smile, glancing back at Asmo who's behind you in the bathroom, doing his skincare. "My lovely husband is doing his skincare right now, it usually takes him about ten to fifteen minutes to complete it." You say, however you can see his head pop-up from the sink and he whips around to look at you.

"Husband?" He calls, and when you nod, confirming your words, he grins. "Oh my, is this a proposal?" He asks with a teasing lilt, and you joking go along with his words, nodding before reenacting the famous getting-down-on-one-knee. You open your hands as if you had a ring box, presenting it to him. He holds his hand out to you, "I do~" You pretend to slip a ring on to his finger and he admires the imaginary ring before leaning down to kiss you.

"Now," He pulls away, wiggling his brows. "Shall we get started on the honeymoon part?"

"Asmo, that's typically after the weddi-" Asmo reaches for his phone, waving and saying a little 'byeeee' to his followers as he ends the livestream with a giggle, throwing you a lil' mischievous smile.

"No harm in starting earlier, right?" And despite only being halfway through his skincare, and this not being a real proposal, the honeymoon was very nice indeed- he can't wait for the real one though.

BEELZEBUB

You had seen the trend, and wondered how Beelzebub would react. So, under the guise of trying some new food and giving it a review, you set up your camera and begin filming. "Hey everyone, me and my husband are going to be rating food from the new McDevil menu~"

Beel doesn't react at all, and you send him a quick glance before trying again- perhaps he didn't hear you? "I think the Sin-Fries are a solid 7/10, what about you, husband?" But again, he doesn't react to the word at all, instead giving his own rating for the new fries.

Is he really not realizing what you're saying? You decide to try one last time. "My husbands food always looks better than mine," You whine, peaking over at him to see his reaction, only to see him offering you a bite of his burger. You sigh, giving up and deciding to just enjoy your food. You take a bite of his burger, offering him some of yours. The review ends swiftly, and you turn off the camera.

As you two clean up from eating, you notice Beelzebub quieter than usual. You're about to ask him if everything is okay, his face becoming flushed, when he speaks up.

"Soon, okay?" You blink a few times, confused by his words. He bashfully looks up at you, and that's when you realize what he's talking about- marriage, he plans on proposing to you soon. Your own cheeks now grow unbearably warm. "I promise."

Your prank definitely backfired, as now you're the one trying to calm your racing heart (although Beelzebub is definitely just as flustered). Still, you're holding him accountable to his promise- soon.

BELPHEGOR

You're not sure how this little prank managed to get turned against you, but Belphegor has made it so that you're now his personal pillow- again.

"I'm just saying, if I'm you're husband, then that means you should let me use you as a pillow whenever I want." You open your mouth to retaliate, but he beats you to it, batting his lashes up at you. "Don't you want your husband to be comfortable?"

"I..." You falter. You regret deciding to call him your 'husband~' to try and get him to help you with chores. You thought maybe it'd motivate him, or maybe you'd just get to see his cute blushing face, instead you're suffering.

"Come on now, don't be shy~" He wiggles about, trying to grab you to pull you towards him, but he doesn't really exert enough energy to be successful. "Ugh, why... do you... do this... to me- to your darling husband!"

"You're anything but darling." You say, crossing your arms over your chest. "Last time I call you 'husband' or any term of endearment, I swear..." You grumble, turning on your heels to leave, disappointed your prank didn't work.

Belphegor grins, snuggling up to his pillow as he watches you leave. "That's what you think," he mumbles to himself, yawning, "when I finally get that ring on your finger, I'll have ya calling me husband again, just you wait~" He snickers, and a cold chill runs down your spine. You glance back to see him asleep, although you feel as if he's planning something- and you weren't sticking around to find out what!

[navybrat817]

Jawbreaker

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky put a mouthy rookie in his place. Word Count: Over 800 Warnings: Established relationship, mention of injury, misogyny, punching, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes defending you (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm dedicating this to @whisperlullaby , who got to read this in advance, because she deserves this man (along with the rest of you). ❤️Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

A small part of Bucky felt bad as he idly wiped his hand with a towel. A very small part.

He didn’t want people to fear him because of his past and he refused to let it define him. That meant that he tried his best to avoid violent tactics unless absolutely necessary.

But today, well, fuck that. The fucker had it coming.

Steve stood in front of him, his blue eyes narrowed as he waited for his best friend to acknowledge him.

Oh, Bucky expected some sort of reprimand, but he was sure Steve would change his tune in a minute or so.

“You gonna ask me what happened, punk, or glare at me until I talk?” He asked, tossing the towel away.

The blonde huffed out a laugh, but he didn’t look amused. “Why did you break that rookie’s jaw?”

Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the phrase? He fucked around and found out.”

You would’ve been proud of him for that reference.

Steve shook his head when Sam burst out laughing a few feet away. “Sam, please,” he begged, though his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “What did the guy do?”

A bitter taste flooded Bucky’s mouth as anger coursed through his veins again. He inhaled as he thought of your sweet smile and soft touch before he exhaled, the storm inside of him calming.

“Buck, you gotta tell us something,” Steve urged, needing some sort of information to try and do some damage control.

The brunette straightened up to look his friend in the eyes, wanting him to see the fury beneath the cold mask. “He told my girl to throw an apron on and get back in the kitchen when she went to spar.”

You, one of the most capable agents Bucky had ever known.

You, who had shown nothing but kindness to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it.

The person Bucky was lucky enough to call his other half. His better half.

And some asshole rookie had the gall to treat you as if you didn’t belong there with the rest of them.

Sam was no longer laughing. Steve’s jaw clenched in understanding.

Bucky swallowed, that fury threatening to surface again as he remembered the hurt that filled your eyes at the comment. “You know I’d support anything she wants to do, whether that’s working or staying at home. It doesn’t give some prick the right to make her feel bad for her decision.”

“You know I don’t like bullies, but breaking his jaw?” Steve questioned. The guy deserved it, but did the punishment actually fit the crime?

“When she walked away, he said to come back when she was ready to see what a real man could do for her,” he said, the words coming out like a snarl.

The way you tensed up, fear and disgust flickering on your face, he didn’t think. A switch inside of him went off and he swung.

The fucker was lucky that all he got was a broken jaw. He could’ve done so much worse.

And it wasn’t that you couldn’t defend yourself because you could, but you shouldn’t have to put up with garbage like that.

A cracking sound echoed in the room before he realized he crushed the armrest of his seat. “Fuck. I’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, kicking a bit of the broken piece with his boot. “Can you just tell me how much trouble I’m in so I can get back to my girl?”

He didn’t care if he they suspended or even fired him as long as he got back to you.

The room stayed silent before Sam mused, “Technically, what the rookie did counts as harassment.”

Steve nodded. “And I’m sure Nat can persuade him not to sue for the injury he received,” he added, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll take care of it, Buck. Just. No more breaking jaws, okay?”

“When it comes to my girl, I make no promises,” Bucky smiled, his heart racing at the thought of you. “And maybe he’ll think twice before he opens his mouth again.”

“The damage you did, I don’t think he can open his mouth at all,” Sam mumbled.

Bucky’s phone went off before he could comment, his heart swelling as he read your text. He had to bite back a groan, too.

“Thank you again, Jawbreaker. I love you and I’ll be on my knees waiting for you.”

You wanted to thank him not just with words, but with your body and heart. It all belonged to him, like he belonged to you.

And he didn’t need to tell Steve and Sam what the message said since it was just for the two of you. “Love you, too, baby. Nothing to thank me for, but I’m on my way. Be ready.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Maybe we'll see how you "thank" Bucky down the road. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

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