#That'd be enough on it's own
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COMPLETELY RUDE OF THEM TO DO THIS
TO HAVE LAVA LAMP TALKING TO HIS FATHER ON SCREEN, FULLY VISIBLE, BUT TO FRAME THE PANELS DELIBERATELY SO WE CAN’T SEE WHICH SYAORAN HIS FATHER IS?
TO TEASE US LIKE THIS??
Horrible. Just so mean.
Or… OR IS THIS A KIND OF A BACKWARDS CONFIRMATION?
CLAMP have been selling the idea that Lava Lamp’s father is Li Syaoran from Cardcaptor Sakura for a few chapters now. They’ve dropped numerous links and connections and WANT us to think that.
BUT THEN, IF IT WAS ACTUALLY TRUE, THEY WOULD JUST SHOW HIS FACE, RIGHT?
They’ve already DROPPED this information. We already THINK it's Li Syaoran. So there would be no need to hide his face any further.
UNLESS IT WASN’T TRUE.
UNLESS THIS IS NOT LI SYAORAN.
UNLESS THEY’RE CONTINUING TO HIDE THE IDENTITY SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE IT WOULD GIVE AWAY THE FACT THAT THIS ISN’T LI SYAORAN.
And am I jumping to conclusions? Yes! Yes always! Welcome to the Jumping To Conclusions Blog at Tumblr Dot Com. But you’d think that even if this was just another version of Syaoran, he’d look relatively identical to what we’d assume to be Li Syaoran. They could just show his face and we’d still assume we knew who he was, even if it was wrong.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH SHOWING?
MIS-MATCHED EYES.
THERE WE GO. CRACK THEORY TIME. This is the only reason I can currently guess for why they’d still be hiding Lava Lamp’s father’s face.
It is adorable and extremely appropriate that Lava Lamp has the same style of shirt as his Mysterious father, especially when they’re completely side by side at the bottom of the page. How they’re so so very similar in name and face and identity and personality and fate, but even in just the shirt you can see ever so slight visible differences differences that are not eyes and are in fact shirt specific decorations.
ALSO, very fun choice that they’re talking about Sakura here while also being surrounded by cherry blossoms. It’s very Dream World coded, even though we see the supports of buildings in the background, so it’s probably not actually a dream. I...
No wait I was about to say we don't ever see buildings in the dream world, but that's not true. Watanuki sees them all the time. Hmm.
WELL, putting that aside also, this is possibly just a nice detail about where they live, and possibly a nice thematic link to the fact that they’re currently talking ABOUT Sakura’s dream visions.
I’m also desperately trying to recall if the transition into a flashback (the black borders around the page) is usually accompanied by those swirls of white in the edges? Is that a new detail or am I just looking too closely?
It’s the eternal mystery.
#I mean I am VERY MUCH looking too closely#I suppose that is the entire point#But anyway please enjoy some absolute nonsense#Just some complete bonkers thoughts based on nothing but hints#I’m sure there could be ANOTHER reason why they’d hide the face#For the drama maybe?#That'd be enough on it's own#... BUT IS IT?#Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#Vol 192#Tsubasa#Lava Lamp Guy#And... A Syaoran#WHICH SYAORAN?#A SYAORAN#Hey you know who else’s parents we don’t get to see the faces for?#Watanuki!#Wow how interesting I wonder if there’s a connection between him and Lava Lamp#ANYWAY
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OOOOOO CAN I ASK HOW WOULD THE N2 SQUAD REACT TO EACH OF THEM DYING?
What have you unleashed?
(WARNING: Angst, allusions to death, all that fun stuff. Nothing graphic tho, don't worry)
Jamil
He shouldn’t be surprised.
Well… He isn't surprised. Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things. Not for more than a few months, anyway.
Every once in a while, life takes pity on him and throws some nice, agreeable news his way. Just enough so that he lets his guard down. Just enough so that he allows himself to think maybe things will get better. Just enough so that he can pretend he isn't chained to a fate he will never escape.
A letter to NRC, a plan that goes a little too well, a couple of upperclassmen who seem to genuinely love him for who he is and not who he pretends to be.
So of course it doesn't last. Life gives and life takes.
Kalim follows, Octavinelle gets involved, Leona and Vil-
Well…
He isn't surprised.
Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things.
Vil
They look at him like they expect something from him. Horror, anger, ugly tears maybe. Just a reaction. Anything. Anything at all.
Vil doesn't give them that. Doesn't give them an opportunity to pity him. Doesn't give them food for gossip. Doesn't give them any material to make this topic last for any longer than it has to.
He knows how it works. Someone snaps a pic of him at his lowest, someone records his voice breaking during an interview, someone catches his lips tremble for but a second, and everybody will start talking about it again. And again. And again. For as long as there is a reaction from him. For as long as the topic attracts views.
Suffering brings more views than success.
So Vil doesn't react. Doesn't say a thing. Doesn't acknowledge the topic.
Better to be a cold asshole for a few weeks than to hear about it for years.
And in the darkness of his own room, where there is no camera, no eyes, and no ears to witness his grief-
Vil cries himself to sleep.
Leona
It’s just sand.
Only sand.
For miles and miles, further than the eye can see, nothing but sand.
Ruggie had the clever foresight to send all of Savanaclaw packing when Leona got the news. They would be sand too otherwise.
Who cares.
Who fucking cares.
He could turn the whole world to sand and it wouldn't be enough.
He might as well turn his own heart into sand.
It would hurt less.
#are you a masochist Anon?#or do you want others to suffer lol?#those are short but I think they convey enough#I have a lot of thoughts for Vil's reaction tho#like I imagine Jamil would be defeated and lose all warmth#and I imagine Leona would either go full depression or destructive anger#but VIL-#can you imagine how shitty it must be to have everybody's gaze on you when you're trying to mourn?#how that'd be the only topic you would find online about yourself for weeks?#we all know Vil is obsessed with how he's perceived by others and he'd definitely check his own name just as much as Neige's popularity#so Vil looks up his name and sees those fucking news again and again and again#and it just opens his wounds again and again and again#and his only way out is to pretend he doesn't care#and so he keeps everything to himself#uses his acting talent to pretend he isn't as affected as he is#and only when he is alone does he let himself break down#anyway those all would be long enough into dating that they are serious about each other and that it'd be known that Vil is dating#but not long enough for them to have made their own life with this relationship#just a tease from life#because Jamil is a tragedy and a half and I had to play with that :3#twisted wonderland#n2 squad#leojami#leovil#javil#ask me anything#jamil viper#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#twst fic
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A Murray for the one (no, two... no, one) other Murray fan(s) out there!! :)
#I will refer to the SHC Murray as Murray and the hero Murray as Captain Murray from now on. if that makes sense#anyway... I have a secret about Murray#he's actually........ a huge nerd#like a HUGE nerd#if the heart boxers and cacti don't tell you enough#I'm also thinking he plays guitar but then that'd be too much of a recurring trend to ignore... I don't know#also I finally realized my confusion with the pilot now: with the combination of the captain Murray statue looking a lot like Murray himsel#plus Murray coming back with Captain Murray's shirt#would make it incredibly confusing that this guy isn't captain#but what if Murray is dressing up as his dad to instill the belief that captain's still kicking... do you see what I'm getting at here#(rambling again. sorry.)#art#digital art#krita#piperjamesseries#Murray jr#cactus#wait do I give him his own sideblog... like would that fit#let me know!!!#oc murray
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He is... as they say... gender fluid
#brought to you by the startling realization that I don't know anybody in this fandom well enough to go feral under their posts#so I'll do it on my own:#I may be asexual but I would let her RAVAGE me#I find the saturation of Belos romantic selfshippers super interesting actually because I do not want him to kiss me#I want him to throw me across the room and crack my spine under her stilettos and I would thank her#storyboard cursed form my beloved#the owl house#emperor belos#philip wittebane#my art#I'm gay#man I wish I turned into a monster when I entered girl mode. that'd be cool#lesbelosposting#fernart
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I love you thiiiiiiiiiiis much! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Yanderapy#The boys are back in town the boys are back in town <3#At least for the moment! Caught a quick glimpse of inspiration for them and then it settled again haha - but they're here now!#Following up on the idea of their give and take - Ishida is definitely the more selfish of the two and Micchan the more giving#You'd think that'd lead to them overstepping - Ishi asking for too much and Mitsu being all-too-happy to grant it but no!#Part of that is from Micchan being in therapy lol - even when he has trouble recognizing his healthy boundaries himself he has external help#And him being honest and upfront - communicating where he struggles - eventually puts the onus on his boyfriend to help him!#And he does!! Because Ishida loves him!! ♥#They're still weird about it tho lol <3 There are things that both of them can get away with that they wouldn't if they were dating others#Featured here is Mitsu initiating snuggles and Ishida reciprocating a little aggressively lol - which Micchan is into <3 Feels loved!#And also flusters him so he responds with his own cute aggression lol - but they recognize that in each other! They play :D#Mitsu would Try to reciprocate to the level his partner sets the standard of but he's full of these big feelings!#It all works out that Ishida Also feels that way haha - they match each other's energy naturally <3 They have quite good chemistry :)#They also behave when they need to lol that's enough PDAs for now ♪#And of course they also got caught in the plush brainmush everyone does everyone needs to#They'd be so cute...... Holding hands or plush-kissing................#I don't think Micchan's necklace counts as an accessory hmm what would they have#They both need their bracelets! Of course#But besides those hmmm what Signature Objects could they have I wonder#And how would Ishida's glasses stay on! Magnets? Stitched on? Hm! Many things to consider haha
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#27.03.22#2940#(never happened)#( i don't know if i'll ever have a real proper chance at playing ttrpgs again someday; )#( but if/when i do i'd also like to be cool enough to come up with & run my own stuff instead of prewrittens )#( and yet i'd still like to scavenge curse of strahd for parts because ? gothic vampire horror ? yeah sure that'd be fun )#( fuck wizards of the coast while i'm here btw )
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I really wonder about Spinel's motivations and the reason he stole Rakurium. He was making his own move and acting independently from Gibeon's orders, since Zir and Conia were spying on him on Amethio's orders. Amethio also suspects him of plotting something.
I wonder if he is working for a third party, which is not the Explorers, though I doubt it because it'd make things a bit too crowded. And from what we've seen of him so far, I don't really see Spinel as someone who'd be involved in a grander scheme (good or bad). He prefers to be alone most of the time and avoids people usually, and he seems to have his own agenda.
Given how the Rakurium is also called "eternal blessing" and that Gibeon mentioned needing more of it for "eminent prosperity", I wonder if it has some healing properties or if it's capable of improving someone's quality of life (which would be the reason why Gibeon wants it)? I wonder if Spinel is doing all of this for someone else's sake, or if there is someone he is willing to do anything for. We know he is capable of love, since Blacky is a friendship evolution, and they are both loyal to each other and love each other. I think it'd be interesting if Spinel was willing to cross some lines and hurt others for a goal that could be considered altruistic.. At the very least, we know that Spinel probably joined the Explorers for his own interests and goals and that he is currently not acting for Gibeon.
#i just hope there's some reasons behind this and not just 'i am evil because something something world domination'#because that'd be very boring (that's why i don't care for the antagonist teams in most of the early pkmn games)#there is potential for an extremely compelling story right here so i'm waiting to see what they do with it#spinel buttering up gibeon when he is in front of him and secretly doing his own thing behind his back is so good. i love him#my current train of thought is that he is probably doing this for someone else (that could change with time the more info we get)#i just don't see spinel as caring enough about people to plot something too grand idk#what are your secrets ikemen etc#spinel#hz054#character notes#episode notes#pokemon spinel
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new icon
#espy art#and of course as always it looks absolutely awful at icon size#i made a good icon once and it took all my good icon making luck to do it#and it was a total accident. every time i try the same thing it's worse somehow?#like whatever. i'll get used to it and i'll complain about the next one i do#icons are more for an excuse to draw literally anything when i'm stuck with zero ideas#so at least if it's bad it served a purpose#y'all dont get to see it but once or twice a month anyways lol#assuming you even bother to glance at it#i hope? my art's stylized enough to be recognizable on it's own? that'd be nice if that's true#if you ask me my art's completely forgettable and unremarkable#i see much better art all the time against my will on this hellsite so it's hard to view my own in a positive way#whatever. two cakes
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Ask Game AU: Where Nao grow suspicious of her husbands "friend" and his constant need to involve himself in their lives so she does her own investigation of the man.
1- Nao was glad, at first, that Kotaro was befriending people at work. He's always been slow to trust. With this friend, though, he wasn't. Kotaro ended up working later, and when he wasn't, going out to dinner or drinks with his coworker. Nao didn't want to bring anything up, didn't want to discourage him, and it wasn't like she had been abandoned to watch Hana all day by herself- her parents were there, and Kotaro wasn't out every single night. Just a lot of them.
2- Still, she doesn't say anything, until one night, Kotaro is back and in bed next to her, only a bit of wine left on his lips, when he brings up trying for a second child. She stares at him, and he withdraws, but she tells him it wasn't a bad thing- just, she had no idea he was thinking about it. They were both only children, and Kotaro had spent some years in a home with many other kids and didn't speak fondly of the experience. Kotaro tells her his friend brought it up, is all, and Nao nods, but is more worried.
3- Kotaro's office is hardly difficult to find things in. She discovers that he was the one to hire his friend, which she notes is weird, because he never mentions that detail. The address on record for him doesn't seem to be a place someone lives. The numbers on his bank account are... fine. But she doesn't find any trace of him online. She asks a few questions to Kotaro here and there, what his friends qualifications were, where he went to school. He's not even found there, on any list of graduates or alum forums. It's odd. but maybe he is just very private.
4- Hana brings up having a little sibling. Nao asks her if her father said anything, and she says no, they had a substitute teacher that day who'd told some stories and said he used to have a little brother. When Kotaro comes home late from work, he's unaware of what his daughter said when Nao asks if he's been thinking about it still. He says he has, and she says she still doesn't know. Two kids after all is a lot of work. and he's not home very often anymore.
5- Nao looks at the package of pills, the last row of seven, and opens her next box instead. She's done it before, once, for a vacation to the beach. She'd spotted a little then, but this time its more. Her birth control's been tampered with. Kotaro couldn't have done it, she'd just gotten the new box the day before she'd opened it and what'd he know anyway about it? What had that pharmacist looked like? Perhaps it was a defect, something she should notify the manufacturer about. She resolves to do so. Kotaro doesn't eat dinner with them that night, and when she asks how it went, he tells her that his friend told him such a funny story about his little brother, listen, he'll tell her and she'll laugh. She asks about the brother, Kotaro goes quiet and says his friend talked about him in the past tense. He's got enough dead family of his own to not press more than that. But really, the story was funny. Nao thinks about Hana's substitute- but clearly, Kotaro's friend was at work that day, must be another coincidence. In a line of many bad ones. Kotaro asks her if she'd like a second child. Nao thinks she might have, before all this. Now, she isn't sure what she'd like. Instead, she tells him that he barely sees Hana. is he really sure that he wants another kid? Kotaro goes quiet again, realizes she's right. He offers to take the next day off. Nao tells him she just wants him home on time for dinner.
+1- Kotaro agrees, and the next day Nao's parents watch Hana for an hour while she meets with her friend Shirota Akiho at the park. Akiho gives Nao a hug, and an unopened box of birth control. She tells her that her sister Beru's bridal shower is in a few weeks, and she can give her another box then. She agrees everything sounds weird- but Kotaro probably isn't to blame. Nao goes home. Kotaro on time for dinner that day. But he realizes when he reacts to Hana telling him she is playing heroes before bed (and Nao and Hana react to his reaction) that maybe he should spend more time at home before welcoming someone else into it.
#the pharmaceutical company like. tests her packages and is like 'hm yeah must have been an error in manufacturing with that sorry would you#like to settle this out of court' and then they can take another lovely little vacay#and maybe Tenko still comes around just... later#....... maybe two years later. sort of third year age while izuku's a freshman. maybe-#ok post is long enough and im sure afo is going to be plotting more anyway when he realizes his plan backfired#and nao isn't suddenly getting pregnant planned or unplanned and also kotaro is slowly warming up to the idea of his daughter having#fancies of being a hero. she's so young after all its no harm. they can talk more seriously when she's older. he wants to protect that#innocence longer than his own was protected#maybe afo can be fuming about kotaro not dropping everything to go on a date with him that he goes to kill some people to work out his ange#and that leads All Might right to him years early or something#that'd be nice ig#pocket talks to people#anon#ask game#hm. not sure what the warning for garaki tampering with nao's meds should be but if you know let me know#ask to tag
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I have a confession to make that may result in my cancellation but I must speak my truth after years of silence:
I think Arkhamverse Tim is fine as fuck.
#I see what Barbara sees 🙈#Yes I know he's bald headed but he pulls it off okay 😭 ya acting like hair can't grow back 😭#listen I was a firm Jason girlie before I played Arkham VR (to be specific) and something about seeing him in that cage 😵💫#the amount of times I've played it just to stare at him is criminal lmao#I'm not delusional enough to say he looked better than Dick tho that'd make me a liar certainly better than Bruce 💀#I also convinced my mom that she got him killed 😂😂😂#I know not everyone likes the VR game but it's literally one of my comfort games it's quick funny and at times unsettling#they really didn't have to make the morgue and asylum so creepy also playing it really puts into perspective how crazy it is#like wym you're going into that sewer 😭😭😭 it's dark babe and gross if he can't get out by himself then I guess we plan the funeral ✋#I am not brave you're on your own 😭😭😭💀#man it's time for a replay cause now I'm thinking about how funny the riddler was in the bonus games and can we talk about Waylon Jones 🤭👀#Realistically I'd be looking into killer crocs belly button but the game makes you Batman height and it's the goofiest(sp?) thing ever 😂
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Realized that my daydreams about retrieving Solanum from the Quantum Moon play out shockingly (hell, poignantly even) close to some sort of reverse tale of Orpheus
#as in. turning around to check shes there spelling her death versus having to stay turned around to be sure shes there keeping her 'alive'#outer wilds spoilers#solanum outer wilds#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#also it'd still be either doomed or extremely difficult (even discounting the sun thing) because like#she'd be a quantum object for the rest of her semi-existence pretty much#even if you got her OFF of the moon she'd still exhibit quantum properties in the same way other things entwined with quantum phenoma do#especially her since like. she's also literally speaking dead. causally her being able to exist YEEEEEAAAAAAARS after her species went#locally extinct is just makes that more apparent (given nomai can't be super long-lived given. textual evidence pointing towards them#being able to lose knowledge across generations within comperable spans of time)#though her exiting the moon and being succesfully taken back to Hearth or wherever would also mean she'd.#like. maybe also 1/6th exist there????#though that'd only last as far as the whole loop thing. fuck that sun in particular#.....of course my little stories about whisking her outta there are mostly involved in grabbing as many hearthians as possible and going#As A Group to the eye sldhgkllhkdsghlksgdhlkgdhlgdsgsdhlk so the sun going kablooey aint a huge deal in that regard#(though the prospect of bringing not-accustomated-to-exploring hearthians to the eye is ghoulish enough in its own right to even consider.)#(maybe just stick to the main 5)#well#six#seven including us really.
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Not surprised about the first part, DEFINITELY surprised by the percentage.
I'd like to formally thank @finepairingspodcast for entertaining me through my 9 hr bakery shifts with their binge-worthy podcast, for making me duck into the walk in every couple minutes from laughing so hard, and introducing me to AU's and Pairings I NEVER would have come across on my lonesome (and also for being what was playing when I got into my car accident. Don't worry that's not what caused it ;D).
If you haven't, go listen! Join me! It's ridiculous, wonderful, and a side-splitting good time!
#I had jears (jean tears) in my jeyes (jean eyes) listening to 50 Shades of Denim#I laughed so hard my stomach hurt#thank goodness we were wearing masks at the time#I prob would've looked insane if anyone saw my face x'D#pretty sure I quote 'I like you for fun on the side as hobby! on my own time!' almost every other day#(that'd be a fire shirt)#I can't gush about Fine Pairings enough#finepairingspodcast#Fine Pairings#fanfiction#cocktails#fine pairings podcast
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i honestly do not know how other people put up with being constantly bugged about updates regarding their 100% free long-term fandom projects. i'd personally be quite irked and would have to hold myself back from being too mean. y'all are stronger than me i'd be brandishing a knife.
if it's my fandom art or writing made for free and someone's curious about when X thing will be out or updated, my response is gonna be "it will be posted when it will be posted, bug off."
#maybe this is my grumpy side showing but like. c'mon#it's free fandom stuff i'm not scheduling that shit are you insane#i'll work on it and have it out when the mood strikes me#i mean doesn't adult life already circle around enough schedules and deadlines?#now if you slid an Andrew Jackson my way then hmmm yes perhaps...#if it was monetized like via Patreon subscribers or something that'd be one thing#or if it was original work that was a passion project and needs a schedule for readership/viewership reasons#but you want me to schedule my completely free fandom thing i do in my downtime?#a thing that i can't even truly call my own intellectual property and is only derivative work?#just for the entertainment of strangers on the internet?#you lost me#i love making fandom stuff so much but the suggestion that someone should make/update their free fandom work Just For You#or that they should otherwise work on and schedule it just for your pleasure#is one of the most obnoxious forms of online fandom entitlement ever#leave people alone about their fandom projects and just appreciate what's there 2k24#sky sez
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also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.
but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]
like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.
and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']
another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]
tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want
#winston billions#a series that did inadvertently power up the stances of someone who actually is Not a fan of ableism; abuse; authoritarianism; and cetera#real winston billions fans might also get written off the series into the ether....but hey. the power up#the ''i saw the autistic character. i saw the tour de force'' was there & it mattered#myself marked glad to be A Ruinerrrrr; to like be present where other people might be aware & even say & do things & [my personality]#throw it back to the last post like my experience going hahaha >:) but you made one mistake. decade old minivan in my name#enough to Get Outta There....but that naturally if it Wasn't that Would be an avenue of punishing / reeling people back in#hey you Stole this from me. hey winston that's Stolen Time and stolen data who give a shit. it's the principle of [we own winston]#my experience also indeed getting ''''worse'''' at being abused lmao i.e. more conflict & resentment as i was increasingly aware i didn't#deserve it. no thanks to much of anything i learned in; say; interacting with others as an autistic person lmao. hmm!#meanwhile even if exploring like Winston Having Fun Being Himself it's like one thing is just. never having the Site of that be like#first & foremost An Romance lol. like even if it's like sure someone could interpret this as romantic that's like; an extra thing#and it's not The Guideline like; not thinking that for winston to be okay he Needs to get on the soulmate track#(billions does think that lol) and like. while billions says winston Has dated (i do think they meant to imply Multiple Times in 5x05#i just think we see that they usually don't care oh so much abt continuity; certainly not across the board) & that he has a crush#like then uhh yeah sure it's like. well i can readily extrapolate then that he's had abusive dating relationships.#billions does Not put forth that someone treating winston Well is where he gets the bulletproof confidence or anything lol#just cursed like again i'm not. i'm not gonna accept [wild you dropped steph into our Visuals as like 1 Confirmed Winston Ex]#but it's also like well then any Depiction would be The Perspective....not like. the abuse currently happening & in any way that is meant#to be ''''obvious'''' & ''''convincing'''' to someone w/no idea what it looks like anyways. vs the mundane ordinary parts that speak to it#or just the ways that experience & concomitant perspective could manifest outside of it even with No look inside it#running into issues like [good thing riawin didn't even hook up or that'd be More vulnerability in an abusive relationship already]#but what if they did & Montage Of Malaise? well to even brush up against inevitable more ''blatant'' things would then either be like#well immediately move Away from that then. before or after but Exit the [current] situation. Or it'd be like. rian has to Reconsider#but a) the character absolutely does not & based on everything will not. & b) if she actually Does; e.g. in a fic. well it's about her now#but i can think of ''yeah maybe winstuk fic that is also framed with bentuk b/c it's not really about Romance & if it's like sure then why#Not presume winston has experiences w/abuse & violation aplenty b/c that's the full context for the character lol it's then still like#and here's little details in which that could Manifest that would just be [??] or unnoticed to others anyways. just like real life!!''
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starting to consider having some sort of pinned post on my tumblr dot com blog so that anyone new to me can see at a glance which things i am wrong about and then they can be spared the effort of having to unfollow me in half an hour when i post something new and wrong.
#if any of the loki blogs that followed me for half an hour want to tell me WHICH opinion was the most off-putting that'd help <3#no really i'm not just being a bitch it'd be handy to know! so i can pin that thing/those things as a warning to others!#also this post is not aimed at anyone specific - i would have A LOT of nickels if i had one for every time this has happened!#and alas those aren't legal tender here but i reckon i might have almost enough for it to be worth the currency conversion fees!#so i know that *at first glance* i must give an impression that differs from my the sort of thing i tend to post?#confession: the current header image/pfp/etc was chosen partly so that nobody can accuse me of some sort of fannish catfishing#is that going to be enough on its own? i think its helped to some degree at least.
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Work rant
So like, I get paid like over $30/hour at my part time job because I do some kinda ""high-skill""" stuff... It's a job that anywhere else would probably be full-time and I do everything within like 25 hours or less. I mean it totally speaks to that premise that most workers are only productive like 3 out of 8 hours in the standard workday. I am VERY productive. I get my work done and then I clock out. I am totally fine with this barring caveats that I live with my parents, etc. etc.
My supervisors, who are both full-time, don't seem to get as much done as I do. Most of the time, I know it's bc I am just really fast at getting shit done. I know it's not necessarily "fair" to judge them by my standard because I've always been this way.... And most people are not. But god daamn it bugs me when it takes forever to get one small task done because TBH the both of them spend a lot of time socializing. They are VERY nice people and I love them but sometimes it just bugs the shit out of me because I just want to shake them and be like "I need u to fucking focus and be a little faster."
Like yesterday I came in to work to work on a specific task with one of them. I could only be there until noon and we talked about it the week before. She put it on her calendar!!! And then at like 11am, I asked when she wanted to work on (task) and she was like 'uh, later? haha?' and I was like "I have to leave in an hour". Oh my godddddd. Like I know she was doing other important things, but she takes forever to complete one thing. I was really annoyed and then she was like "okay when I get back from getting a matcha". We probably only worked on this (important task) for about 15 minutes. Again, these two are great to work with in general, but I am a suffering young millennial and just want to get my work done and go home okay?????????
#if I could do this job and get paid enough to live on my own that'd be awesome#in general i think the 8 hour workday/fulltime shit is bullshit#i will get everything done in 25 hours or less#pay me 80k a year please
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