#That would obviously be fucking bonkers

[ratmans-notebooks]

"transmascs have to embrace their femininity its healthy" no we do not🖤 hope this helps

EDIT because this somehow got a bunch reblogs immediately. Im not trying to start shit or stir discourse this was a mild vent post made in 3 seconds and does not encompass the complete nuance of my feelings on the whole matter. so just keep that in mind

[asmo-cosmetics]

mammon??? mammon obey me???

[prisonguards]

Im trying really hard not to be a cunt abt it (and kinda failing so I might be off tumblr the rest of the day) cause Im sure the anons and those boundary accounts are well meaning individuals who Think theyre fostering a respectful community, but in reality it leads to a culture of shame and harassment and tries to make fan spaces front and center for the creators, rather than the fans. I think putting creators on the spot and forcing them to answer “boundary” questions through donos they feel obligated to respond to is particularly rude and uncomfortable, especially when its something that doesnt even enter their peripheries, that now theyre suddenly aware of. tag your stuff, block tags you dont wanna see, let others do what makes them happy. soft tagged kissy art on tumblr dot com isnt gonna ruin this 29 year old mans life even if he finds it “a bit weird”

[ghoulishtapir]

been rotating a prime defenders insert into the fallout show ..... making a hyperfixatuin soup if u will

william is the ghoul. but the more body horror ghouls and also southern . (would also say rgat in this case barb would actually be david. i mean its literally belltech -> vaulttec wgat can i say)

dakota is maximus but not as motivated by revenge more just by believing that the brotherhood is doing the right thing

ashe is lucy. isolated from real world until violently thrown into it and quickly having to adapt (and yknow. mark as hank and that whole situation works horribly great)

now. i was trying to figure out where vyncent would fit in. at first i was leaning towards him being more of his own thing not replacing a character, probably like an enclave experiment, but um. i realized a much funnier idea was that its the exact same thing (with some tweaks) as canon. he gets isekaied into fallout. he's still magic, hes still elf. but now in the wastelands.

n e ways just needed to write this down before i forgor but i want to draw it....

[korraavaatu]

can I make a formal request that people stop trying to add accents into their dialogue? I have no idea what accent you're even trying to accomplish most of the time AND it (at least as I've seen it lately on here) is like a shorthand for "not white" (with the only exception being some fucking white southern gone with the wind bs...). If you want to get another culture to come across in your writing, try slang or common sayings. Nothing makes me think southern like "y'all" or "bless your heart" (good and fine). And nothing makes me think that the writer is lazy like adding an accent when what you actually mean is "person of color" (bad and racist) because--even though you're writing fanfic, the reader apparently can't figure out who's talking unless you add that shit in

[kafus]

how i caught entei in leafgreen in the most ridiculous way possible

SO last week i started a pokemon leafgreen file on my childhood cart i've had since my 5th birthday, and one my goals ended up being getting every owned dex entry possible in JUST the one copy of leafgreen without connecting to any other game… and i did. except i forgot one. ENTEI!!

like probably a lot of you reading this i COMPLETELY forgot that one of the johto roaming beasts is in every copy of FRLG. i never even caught any of them as a kid. which roamer you get is based on your starter (squirtle = raikou, bulbasaur = entei, charmander = suicune) and i happened to pick bulbasaur so my roamer was entei. it does actually ROAM in kanto, aka whenever you change locations, the pokemon moves to a new route. obviously this is a pain in the ass, but it gets even more painful because roamers can flee from the battle and they will the instant you encounter them. you get the chance to throw one ball or use one move and that's it… so like in most pokemon games, you would use a trapping move like mean look to keep the roamer in the battle and turn it into a normal legendary encounter, right? HAHA WRONG

raikou and entei are affected by the ROAMER ROAR BUG in FRLG, which means if they use roar to escape the battle (yes, even in mean look, it doesn't stop roar from working) they just disappear from the game. permanently. forever. you can never capture it. suicune is not affected by this because it doesn't have roar, but my roamer was entei, so uh. the odds were stacked against me. did i want to repetitively encounter the roamer over and over, never trapping it, just throwing one ball each time? or did i want to set up a mean look pokemon only to have to soft reset every time entei used roar? neither option sounded fun and i was going to just give up and master ball it despite REALLY wanting it in a luxury ball like all the other kanto legendaries i had already caught… UNTIL!

i am a moderator of the ribbon master discord (a different pokemon challenge) and i was just sorta liveposting my thought process about this annoying roamer when gen 3 rng manipulation extraordinaire ddeeffgg crashes into the chat and suggests this fucking bonkers idea. and his bonkers idea is galaxy brain LET ME EXPLAIN

ariados is available in leafgreen's post game by catching spinarak in pattern bush, and of course electrode is a fairly common kanto pokemon. ariados gets access to spider web, which is basically just mean look with a different name (and i completely forgot it existed), it traps the opponent in the battle. but IMPORTANTLY, it ALSO gets access to BATON PASS… which, in gen 3, passes the trapping effect! usually if you were to use spider web and swap out ariados, the opponent would no longer be trapped, but baton pass solves that! and then electrode has the ability soundproof which prevents roar from working, and it even gets thunder wave (paralysis) and sonicboom (consistent 20 damage with no chance of accidental crits) to assist in easier capture of entei! nice!! awesome!! but getting this setup in order is the most ridiculous shit i've ever done in leafgreen

PROBLEM #1: ariados gets baton pass through egg move. in gen 3, egg moves are only passed down by the father and not the mother, so i had to grab a male ledyba, grind it to a high enough level to learn baton pass, then grab a female spinarak and breed them together. unfortunately this means my ariados would be level 1 and i'd have to train it up quite a bit, which leads into my next problem…

PROBLEM #2: ariados is SLOWWW. its base speed is a measly 40 compared to entei's whopping 100! ariados needs to outspeed entei to use spider web first turn so entei can't just run away! i would have to get ariados to a very high level to outspeed entei, grinding all the way from level 1. the one plus side is that the roamers in FRLG are bugged to always have a 0 IV in defense, special attack, special defense, and speed, which means unless entei has a +speed nature, its speed would always be a predictable and relatively low 105 at level 50, which is what it's encountered at. so i had to get an ariados with a speed of 106 or higher.

to get around both these problems as efficiently as possible, while breeding spinarak, i bred quite a few to get one with a +speed nature, and ended up with a jolly spinarak. everstone doesn't work in FRLG unfortunately, so the nature was completely random each time. soon my DAUGHTER WAS BORN after like 2-3 hours of breeding because FRLG eggs are SLOOOW and i was being stubborn about the nature, which i was getting unlucky on LOL

then i maxed out her speed EVs real quick by fighting picnicker susie on route 13 over and over, who gives 12 speed EVs per battle, 24 with the macho brace, which i was using. this was just to make sure i would reach 106+ speed as fast as possible. then i grinded her levels by repetitively fighting the two trainers right outside the weird chansey dance guy's house in sevault canyon on seven island, right above tanoby ruins. using the vs seeker on them is the best grinding spot in the game since they give 20k experience per fighting both of them and there's a healing spot Right There. i was using exp share and leading with my level 100 jolteon named Egg who i adore with all my heart. ariados, now named koolaid, ended up crossing the speed threshold at level 62! yes this took a while lmao

as for electrode, i wanted one at as high of a level as possible so i hopefully wouldn't have to grind levels. i lucked out as electrode is found at a whopping level 64 in cerulean cave's bottom floor. a 5% encounter rate but as i had already caught numerous 5%s for the pokedex, i didn't really care. however it DOES have explosion and i'd rather not have the electrode explode on me before i could catch it which would then send me on a wild goose chase for ANOTHER 5% electrode… so i grabbed the random level 24 poliwhirl with the damp ability, which prevents explosion from working, out of my PC, and gave it a smoke ball from the celadon game corner so i could lead with her and easily run from each encounter that Wasn't Electrode.

now you may be wondering how i was going to handle capturing electrode once i was actually in the battle because SURELY it would just use thunderbolt or something and instantly murder my poliwhirl. however funnily enough electrode only has two attacking moves at level 64, swift and explosion. explosion obviously doesn't work, and swift is a physical attack in gen 3 due to all normal type moves being physical, this was before the physical/special split in gen 4. electrode's physical attack stat is a garbage 50 and swift only has a base power of 60 so i honestly wasn't concerned. and best of all, poliwhirl gets the move hypnosis, so i could easily put electrode to sleep and start chucking ultra balls… and the smoke ball ended up being useless because i somehow ran into electrode first try what the fuck LOL

anyways i named them gatorade to match with koolaid. truly the dream entei capturing team. i didn't even feel the need to grind any levels on gatorade, level 64 was more than enough, so i just slapped the two moves i wanted on them - thunder wave through the one-use tutor in silph co, and sonicboom through the move reminder on two island, costing me two tinymushrooms which i thankfully already had and did not have to go out of my way to grind.

however the hours worth of prep ISN'T DONE YET! because uhh…

PROBLEM #3: ariados has to be above entei's level to outspeed it (yes, even if it had a 31 IV in speed AND a speed boosting nature AND maximum speed EVs, it still wouldn't be enough at level 50), which means the repel trick can't be used to encounter it. tracking down the roamer is practically impossible without using repels to cancel out all other wild pokemon, and in gen 3, unlike later gens, you can't put a fainted pokemon in the front of the party for the repel trick instead. and if i DON'T lead with ariados, entei will run away when i try to swap into it. SO i decided i would have to run into entei once first through the repel trick method, which marks it as "seen" in the pokedex, and then i would track its location through the pokedex to encounter it while leading with ariados.

to accomplish this, i simply ran in and out of the building on route 16, going in and out of the grass in the process, which would constantly be randomizing entei's location until it happened to randomize onto route 16. i caught a staryu with illuminate as an ability to raise the chance of entei appearing, which does work while staryu is fainted (wouldn't want to go in and out of the grass while entei was on route 16 without encountering it!) and otherwise led with my level 50 magmar that was on my elite four team named Torch for the repel trick.

i bought a whopping 100 max repels for this task but i ended up getting entei within just a few lol. torch was holding the smoke ball just to be able to run away safely without any shenanigans!

and now entei was in the pokedex and able to be tracked that way!

however, there was still ONE more problem...

PROBLEM #4: luxury balls are a pain in the ASS to get in this game! they can't be bought from any shop. the only way to repeatedly get luxury balls in FRLG is to show a pokemon to selphy, a rich girl who lives in resort gorgeous on five island.

i will mostly skim over this because it's boring, but TLDR i had to continuously talk to her, fly back to the pokemon center, get the pokemon she wanted to see out of the PC because the step limit is 250 before she gets sick of waiting which is like nothing (i already had a living dex of every mon obtainable in leafgreen otherwise so this wasn't hard), surf to her, then spam A through dialogue with her butler in which i had a 70% chance of receiving a luxury ball. i did this over 40 times until i had 30 luxury balls, and sold off all the nuggets and other items she gave me. good lord this took a while

and now with ALL of that setup i was FINALLY ready to capture entei in a luxury ball. this took me literally all day and i was really excited. to consistently encounter entei, i saved in cerulean city and tracked it in the pokedex from there, opening it over and over after changing to any of the four routes connected to the city, and moving to an adjacent route from entei's location when it was close in the hopes of walking onto the same route it moved to when i did. i was following a map made by hangarofroam, he has a video tutorial on how to shiny hunt the FRLG roamers and encounter them as quickly as possible, and i highly recommend looking it up if you want to capture these roamers yourself, but tldr this is the map i was using:

and once i encountered entei i was finally able to use the strategy i had prepped so long to do... and it worked without a hitch!! entei can't try to use roar first turn because it wastes a turn trying to flee, which is prevented by ariados outspeeding and using spider web... then if it tries to use roar the next turn, i've already switched into electrode to block it with soundproof. so from there it's just a matter of whittling down entei's HP to the red with swift/sonicboom and paralyzing it with thunder wave, then tossing luxury balls until success!

and i GOT IT after 3 encounter attempts and 73 luxury balls thrown. and FINALLY i have all 171 national dex entries possible in a single copy of leafgreen with no connection to other games, and all the legendaries are in fancy ass luxury balls. i am winning.

this was ridiculous. please be proud of my accomplishments. i've had this file for less than 2 weeks and i already have over 70 hours of gameplay in it after doing all this AAAAA

also barely related but look at Egg my jolteon he had like no purpose in this story but i took a pic of him in front of entei before going on to capture entei because i love him so much pleas

thanks for coming to my fucking ted talk i am SOOO normal about pokemonsdfjkfds (joke)

[isaacathom]

very funny to me that naielle gets knocked down so often when her hp is like. exceptional relative to the party. she doubles the primary healer. she either rivals or slightly exceeds the paladin. and yet. bap bap. and its because she cannot help but draw attention to herself in combat and her ac is like... 14...

[whywouldyoudothistua]

i keep seeing ppl say five/lila made sense and i want to be nice but youre so wrong

"it was seven years" not everyones life motivation is romantic relationships just cuz youre alone w someone does not mean ull get together im sorry u think everyone is that shallow

"five had dolores the first time" five went absolutely insane bonkers the first time and only got along w the Fake Mannequinn bc she was Fake and a Mannequin

also i feel like the ENTIRE conversation is revolving around "would five or wouldnt five" as if lila is just some prop woman no one is considering her beyond "uhm shes a tired mom so shed obviously fuck the first guy to give her an ounce of attention" i hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is not how women work and lila would never, w that crusty dusty old man that fucked her kidnapper

[seawing-vibes]

Decided to fill out a template from @/falling-skyzz I feel normal about . The dragons ! List of characters & design & dynamic thoughts under the cut <3

Also If anyone else fills out thus template feel free to send me the post,, I would love to see other people filling this out!!! I love templates !!

Secretkeeper & Moon • I understand theres a lot of reasonable hate for Secretkeeper but!!! I find her & moon to be a very fascinating pair! To make a long ass thought short, I think Secretkeeper is the embodiment of “product of her environment & deeply traumatize & projecting”. I think she genuinely really loves moon but obviously expresses that through being “”protective””. But I think shes genuinely a character with a capacity for change & realizing the autonomy Moon has over her own powers. Also from the perspective of Moon I think her arc around her relationship with her mom could be really interesting, especially as Secretkeepers authority becomes challenged in Moons life & she has to confront the bullshit her mother has put her through. Overall very very interesting pair I think about them a lot.

Design Note: Secretkeeper is duller in color than Moon & has less stars due to lack of moon light on the island! Also the scales around her mouth are almost completely black, making her mouth barely visible, giving her the name “Secretkeeper” as she “has no mouth to tell others secrets.”

Tsunami & Starflight • Just one of my fav siblings! This specific illustration is from the Arena Scene in Dragonet Prophesy! I really really love Tsu & Starflights dynamic of looking up to eachother & their development together just. So neat!

Design Note: Starflight has very few constellation marks in this illustration as he hasnt spent much time under moonlight quite yet!

Shark & Abalone • One of my more out-there ships! I based this on the thought that Shark was once close with Abalone (cough. Husbands.) and that relates to why he was willing to give Tortoise a lunch-break from watching the eggs. He already saw someone close to him die from being overworked to watch the clutch, he didn’t want to watch another dragon die from his sisters selfishness. I could write an essay on these two I swear

Deisgn Note: Shark is based on a tiger shark & abalone is based on real abalones! hes one of my fav designs here

Six-Claws & Ostrich • He’s just a sweet dad! the little we see of him he seems to really love her & vice-versa <3 they’re just neat

Design Note: Six-Claws is based on a king cobra & is a specific sub-“species” of hooded Sandwings ! Burn found his hood mutation & six-claws super interesting

Tamarin & Pike • My fav background friendship! They’re just fun. I like Pike just chillin out around Tamarin & describing flower colors to her to the best of his ability (she just likes to hear him ramble about a shared interest)

Design Notes: I updated how I draw Tamarins eyes to properly resemble a blind-born dragon ! Also Pike’s deisgn got some yellow in it and I really like it <3

Whiteout & Thoughtful • I just think they’re neat!! They just seem like a sweet pair love them

Design Note: none really! Just experimenting with a rando Thoughtful design that I tossed together for my “ships tier list”

Tsunami • Its just her :) my fav dragon <3!!! I definitely dont think she upholds the “princess” title once she gets older, her only link to the throne is by Coral insisting monthly visits but Tsu otherwise wouldn’t be any interesting in royal life I would imagine

Design Note: Shes caught a waaururrghh something im going bonkers I cant remember what fish that is and my reference photo seems to have dissipated into the cosmos

Anemone • I LOVE HER. SO MUCH ! Anemone haters BACK OFF!!!! Her relationship to her powers is so fucked man. Something you’d think would give her power & control is just a key by which others use to manipulate and abuse her like . Man :( shes literally never had any autonomy over her own identity & intermingled her powers into her identity So Much only for that aspect of herself to also be revealed to be a facade for someone else’s desires like. GUH I love her so much I hope shes having a good day I dont care what anyone says she deserves to be a brat and I support her for it

Design Note: none really! The stars in her talons are just metaphorical though

Snowflake & Snowfox • THE OGS!!!!!! MY FAVORITE PROBLEMATIC LESBIANS <3 Ahhh remember in the early days when they were considered the #1 most problematic ship because they were gay and also evil. I love the evil lesbians so much they’re so shitty sorry Darkstalker Snowfox should’ve been queen I would’ve loved to see that go down it’d be so silly

Design Notes: Snowfox is based on an arctic fox shedding into their summer coat!! I know its p . Away from canon descriptors of her but it was sm fun to illustrate so shhh <3 Snowflake is just grey & blueish per-canon but shes sooo fun. love her.

Okay thats all here are the individual illustrations now !!!!! Because why not !!! If these aren’t transparent its all over

[skyelights-xox]

Listen so many things about this episode overwhelmed me. Obviously. But for some reason the only thing I am able to think about is how fucking bonkers that Alador and Darius interaction was??? Because like I have been saying since "And tell Alador he's a hack while you're at it" in Eda's Requiem that it would be soso funny if they were bitter exes, and I was kinda waiting for that reveal but at the same time I was like "Disney's not gonna let that happen. They've reached their Queer Quota with the other characters. They wouldn't do that."

Guess fucking what

[ace7librarian]

I think the saddest part for me about this war is that I don't trust anyone that considers themselves liberal and progressive.

I used to. Seeing a pride flag on someone's profile was enough for me to trust them. I would assume I could be safe and comfortable with them. My family made fun of me for it, but I truly believed there were genuinely good people with a perfect way of living.

I've seen so much shit online. I see all of those blue haired liberals my uncle made fun of me for being tearing away photos of kidnapped Jews. I see people I considered friends posting harmful misinformation. People with cartoons characters I like as a profile picture say my people deserved this.

It feels bonkers to double check if someone wants me dead before talking to them. This shit makes me realise why my ancestors didn't mix with goy people. I know most people don't mean harm to me, but how can I know? Maybe that's why there are Jewish supremacists. Obviously we're all human, shitty people are everywhere, but when everyone tell your community to die, it's easy to hate everyone outside your community.

I don't hate people who disappointed me as a whole. I feel like I lost faith in the entire humanity. Except for my people. This is a fucking terrifying feeling. I've been marginalized my whole life- a queer autistic woman. I never hated men, I never hated cishet people, I never hated allistic people. I'm so close to hating goy people. I've never been closer to being just like the people I hate most. It's a horrible feeling. And I blame every goy person.

Tldr- I lost my faith in humanity and I feel my morals collapsing

[sabh0]

I need to rant with someone about how this fandom thinks Chuuya's stupid, or gullible, and how Dazai uses him all the time without him even realizing, which hurts Chuuya's feelings like...

What the fuck did y'all read, where did that dynamic even comes from?? Why do you want to make Chuuya look pathetic????

They are PARTNERS. If Dazai only considered him a puppet, they would NOT work so well together, nor have the dynamic they do, they balance each other out while understanding each other completely, PLEASE.

Yes, Chuuya follows Dazai's plans most of the time, because they WORK. When Dazai doesn't give him the entire thing, it's because he trusts Chuuya to understand his intentions anyway, because they know each so well, I am going to SCREAM.

SO TRUE!!! EVERY TIME I SEE PPL CALL CHUUYA STUPID OR SMTH I GO BONKERS,, Asagiri himself said that Chuuya is Dazai level genius,,

And the fact he goes along with Dazai's plans is literally the fact he trusts him?? He literally said it out loud a few times. No idea where ppl r getting that whole thing about him being some pathetic little guy who can't think for himself,, if he didn't want to do something then he wouldn't and that's it 😭😭

The same goes for ppl who make Dazai look like he can't handle himself in a fight or smth,, ghey literally push the dynamic of 'brains and brawn' onto skk like aughh!! Obviously Chuuya is a much better fighter, but Dazai is not a twig that won't be able to lift a finger in a fight??? He does perfectly fine against Atsushi's tiger, running and jumping around,,, or in the Dazai's Entrance Exam novel where he was fighting that big buff guy - obviously he's not a martial artist so it would be quite hard to fight someone twice as big as you, but he still managed to hit him a few times with some tricks,,, also he's pretty athletic considering the way he escaped in the Dragon's Head Conflict (uhh sab u just started yapping sbout a completely different topic))

[torchstelechos]

There's something really heartbreaking about the misunderstandings between Mirabelle and Siffrin, because at the start of the game Siffrin teases Mirabelle but gets real anxious and worried about upsetting her multiple times and even gets worried about Bonnie throughout the game. This being to the point that they keep the good lines in the script, even if they could feasibly stop caring about it. Then, during act 5, Mirabelle hits Siffrin with the fact that he's mean when he's teasing her but she doesn't let it get to her because she knows they mean well. Do you think about this? The thought of Siffrin being so self conscious of his own faults to the point they made sure the loops always were kind until the last one only to get slapped in the face by your families comments and hand. Like I think about this a lot. Obviously they knew they were mean but they also did everything in their ability to not hurt their family only to be told that they had multiple times and it was only because of his families trust and love that his family didn't take it to heart. Like fuck, fuck, I think id fucking go crazy. I think I'd isolate myself if that happened to me. Oh my gods. It really makes some of his next decisions really bonkers to me, but in a good way because yeah! Yeah that makes sense. Anyway post game I think Siffrin would probably not tease or poke fun at anyone for a good while in fear of hurting their families feelings.

[tossawary]

The 3-day trial system in "Ace Attorney" is absolutely nuts. I know the game is intentionally making fun of corrupt & dysfunctional legal systems and is also upping the pacing to create a sense of urgency & excitement, but I truly underestimated just how hysterically funny it would be to play this trial system. They have created some WILD logistical worldbuilding.

Like, someone gets murdered on Day 1. Phoenix Wright finds out about this on Day 2 and goes to talk to them. This person has less than 24 hours to find their own legal representation before a public defender is assigned to them, and Phoenix has to do his own investigating before the trial tomorrow morning. Day 3 is the first day of the trial, in which Phoenix is doing everything he can to prove innocence and somehow also solve the actual murder in the middle of court, and hopefully at least get the Judge to agree that they need another day of investigation and interrogation. There's an in-universe rule that a trial can only go for 3 days, so by Day 5, the third day of the trial, this nonsense needs to be wrapped up. The first game doesn't explicitly say that this is a death penalty system, but it's heavily implied at points, so depending on the case, Phoenix has THREE DAYS to potentially SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

And this is all hilariously, horribly BONKERS for Phoenix, but it's just as awful when you start getting into all the little bureaucratic details of trying to make this legal system actually work. A public defender might get a case at 5 PM for a murder trial at 10 AM the next morning?! (I know public defenders are often horribly overworked IRL. This is part of what the game is mocking.) Autopsies are being performed within, like, 12 hours of the murder?! They're getting results back from the forensics labs within 24 hours?! How much of the city budget is SPENT on law enforcement?! The overtime hours must be horrifying. No wonder things are constantly falling through the cracks; people are fucked if their defense attorneys are on vacation that day or if the witnesses aren't answering their phones that day.

And, also, like, did the courthouse not have OTHER trials scheduled for that day? Are they reserving a courtroom in this courthouse for emergency murder cases? Even if there's a 3-day limit to speed things up, it's a big city, shit happens, how are they seeing people this quickly? Are there just separate courthouses for all crimes below various degrees of murder? (Obviously, family law and small claims and minor crimes and such must be handled somewhere else, but still.) Or are people in Japanifornia getting last minute calls from the overworked scheduling people at the courthouse like, "Hi, witness for an assault trial, your testimony has been rescheduled because someone was murdered last night. This could take 1-3 days. We'll let you know." Then that poor witness is like, "Shit, I took a day off of work for this??? I have to call my boss again now. Fuck you!!!"

It's tempting to write an AA fic about a series of murders in this world, in which people are obviously being framed for these crimes but it's not clear who the real murderer is, because this is all happening to keep postponing a different trial, because murder cases apparently go to trial immediately in the AA universe as #1 priority. Someone needs this extra time to steal the evidence from the police station and frame someone else for their crime, because if this postponed trial goes to court, then a different, older, unsolved murder is sure to come to light.

This features a public defender OC who is... the most exhausted person... of all time... trying to hold the line of human rights. The burnout rate must be horrifying.

[nocturnal-lanturn]

most to least likely to get bitches: txt edition

pt2 of my "mtl likely to get bitches" my other ver was for skz and i thought it was funny and my friend and i were talking about it again. so. here it is.

also warnings: suggestive themes!!!

1. yeonjun is the obvious choice. he obviously gets bitches. idk if i even have to explain, he has the face card, he has the body, he has the social skills, he has the confidence. 100% gets hoes with ease. he knows his power and exercises it. about 75% likely to fuck a fan, i sense that he prolly wouldn't mind

2. taehyun, personally i think taehyun COULD get hoes. does he actively seek them is the question. could easily be seungmin 2.0 where he has the direct ability but decides the bag isn't worth it. he seems like he knows how to actually exist in a club and his bedroom eyes don't play (talking from experience). so!! i think that he's pretty high on the list. he's also one of the least losers in txt, so that helps a lot. 60% likely to fuck a fan. i think he's a bit more cautious ngl

3. soobin. i am a very big loser soobin agenda pusher (this man is so loser core it hurts bad but then again, all of txt are losers tbh) BUT!! i think he can mask his loserness more than beomgyu can (which is why beomgyu is lower, among other reasons lol). i think overall hes a very attractive charismatic guy (bonus points bc hes all around pretty good at comedy and timing!!) so i think his ability of getting bitches are very high and he can successfully bag them. 80% would fuck a fan, i think he would think its fun and risky

4. beomgyu. okay!! i love beomie, he's one of my obsessions biases. but... guys.. this man is not only a loser, he's insane!! like he's incredibly funny and a mood maker, don't get me wrong, but this man is bonkers!! in a fun way, but still bonkers! i think if he was his off screen self (bc i'm sure he's much more subdued irl) then he could pull it off! but for the sake of this ranking, he's a loser with no chance (other than me). 40% likely to fuck a fan. i think he's more on the "yall are chill" side of the parasocial relationships.

5. kai ... the epitome of "i brought this girl over and we played video games :D" (my friend gave me that description and i stole it). this man is bitchless to the highest degree, but personally, i think that should change. this man is hot as fuck, in my humble opinion!! i think he could get bitches, but fumbles the bag bc he doesn't want to assume or doesn't understand his power. 35% to fuck a fan. i don't see it for him ngl

this was much longer than the skz one lol. bc there were less members i felt like i could elaborate more.

[kaybreezy3000]

Do you think the injured girl next to Ben is Jennifer like everyone else thinks? I am kinda indecisive because it's no flashback and she's obviously with Sparrow!Ben. It would be kinda boring that he met Umbrellas!Ben Jennifer in another timeline.

Okay, hold on because this one is going to blow your minds. Jk but I am going to lay down some crazy stuff.

Writers aren't supposed to throw characters in for no reason, so if I had to say, I would say that the women in the trailer, lying next to Ben on the floor, is the 'Jennifer' person that they are all referring to with the Jennifer Incident.

I don't think it's a flashback either, but I do think it's possible that it's Ben back in time with her via the subway time travel/Televator or whatever it is. I also think it is this Ben now, meaning the Sparrow's Ben.

There is nothing in this shot other than Ben's clothes that tell me it's the now Sparrow Ben, but I think that's enough to confirm that. Then as far as where they are and when, I am just guessing that it's the past because that's when she died or that's a least what they lead us to believe. That may have been intentional though, and this could be now, in this new timeline, and Jennifer always died here, and Umbrella Ben was a part of it. 🤯 I know that sounds nuts, but I'll explain why I say this, but first, back to the picture and the person you are talking about from the trailer.

The floor in this shot is cool, but I have no idea where it is. It does look like something from the Hotel Oblivion, as in the same style of art deco flooring it had, and that is very interesting, but I am not saying it's there, only it resembles it which means it could be in one of Reginald's other buildings in this new timeline. It appears he own many.

We need to ask: Are they somewhere at the moment when this Jennifer died the first time, or maybe when the original Ben died?? Or both???

Now this Ben is there with her, taking the place of the original Ben in some kind of timeline melding anomaly?

Maybe...

The key with all this is, they never said how original Ben died, and now in the new trailer, Five is asking his siblings if any of the even remember how their brother and they all look like they have no clue.

Huge stuff with that.

Why is that though?

Did Allison come into play again and have to Rumor all of them in to forgetting per Reginald's request? Can she Rumor herself though, because she didn't remember either? Did she Rumor Reginald too? Why? Or why else don't they remember?????? If they remembered, would they do something other than what they were meant to do, as if fucking up on a grand scale over and over and suffering big time, and if they didn't do that, then the end wouldn't happen in a way that they all survive?

Holy Shit, right????!!!

If this is so, who is driving this whole thing???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 I like to think it's Five, but I am only going there a tiny bit with his part in all this in this post. 😏

I think all this stuff is big. If I had to guess, I think the first time Umbrella Ben died, something went bonkers with all time itself and ever since, it's been on the verge of failure. This also goes back to Reginald knowing this would happen, but I don't think he knew exactly how, which is why even he can't seem to prevent it or remember any of this stuff.

We know that this time, it's all going to come down to Ben. He is the one that is going to cause the end of the world in 24 hours. We know that something is wrong with him. Look, he looks like he is slowly burning from the inside-out-that or he's got one hell of a nasty rash. JK

If you look at the woman on the floor with him, she sort of looks like she's having the same problem.

As she's laying there looking back at him while on fire, she looks extremely similar to Sparrow Ben's haunting sketch that was up in his room the last season.

I didn't think much of that when I watched it in season 3 but now, I think it's just too similar to ignore. I think it's her and I think Sparrow Ben was feeling some kind of connection to her, or like a memory, or something, and he was trying to work through these horrible images that must have been creeping into his mind for years.

Sparrow Ben was in a timeline that shouldn't have existed, so I am thinking there are faults in that timeline too, sort of like little rips that let things through that shouldn't be-like a past he'd lived before, one that only he was getting tormented by because he's the one that it's all about and he has a special connection to it that they don't via the portal inside him.

Ben thinks the thing inside him is the real monster they need to fear, but I am thinking it's the portal it comes from that's the real danger.

Then, back to all these Ben's out there. There was this one in the teaser at the end of season 3...

Which fancy looking Ben is this on the train, and when? I think it's really Ben at the end of all of this and he is alive and well-I love this idea so let me have it please. 😄 I need all of them to live. 🙏

It's hard to think it's the present Sparrow Ben on the train because that poor guy seems to have gotten himself locked up and just got out, and now he isn't looking so hot in this season's trailer in any of the shots they gave us.

example: it seems that Ben is having a smelly situation here-not cool, man. That's Luther's thing. 😄

When it all comes down to it, I think all the Ben's are going to collide in a way none of the other Hargreeves could with their own other selfs. All the Ben's have this crazy monster portal in them, so I think they are all connected by it, dead or alive.

I am also going to make another big speculative leap and say Jennifer, or this woman on the floor burning, is Ben's real mom. I totally could be wrong on that, but it makes more sense to me than her being one of the other 43 superpowered children, or some random chick he happens to be tied to for a love interest type of thing.

This is where I know that I am going to go way off the rails and for sure be wrong, but I'll give you some of my thoughts on the reason for all this anyway.

I am going to say that the reason stuff is falling apart again is in part because Reginald didn't get to reset the time completely thanks to Allison chopping his head off, but as I hinted at already, that was always supposed to happen-all this was. Now we have all sorts of stuff being found that should be there like Allison's old movies and pictures and clippings of the Umbrella Academy kids.

The other big reason this is all falling to shit again is because again, it always was supposed to, just as The Handler said. 🤯🤯🤯🤯

YO! Did Five tell her that all along?

Five did maybe found the Commission....

He also may have designed the briefcases.

He may have invented the Infinite Switch Board-which can 'see' or predict inconsistencies in the timeline that may or may not drive it off course and lead to a catastrophic end!!!!!!!

Back on Five again, sorry. 🤣

Reginal knew the end was coming too. And maybe a different version of Five knows this too and that is going to be the real shocker at the end of this. He's the 'time' guy in all this, so it's highly likely he's going to come into the finale reveals in a big-time way. There are just too many plot holes with his character that these ideas help fill.

I am going to say that 'the final end to the beginning' is because she (Jennifer), having given birth to Ben, also has something very dangerous inside her. Maybe she's not as good at keeping the monster inside contained as her son was???

I am not saying all their moms have bits of their powers but...

Just think about it...

Ben is a very special little baby that was magically conceived by way of sparkling marigold dust. He has a portal to another dimension inside of him that is home to 'The Horror,' and maybe even other horrible beasties, and who knows what else. In those very short seconds his mother had him inside her, that thing was inside her too.

What if even after Reginald came and made her give Ben up, (which she didn't seem to want to do at all), the portal was left open in her, with something inside just waiting to break free?

What I am trying to lay down is, she's connected to Ben through this realm of monsters that they both hold the gate to. They are connected this way through all time and space, but something is very wrong with this and always was.

Now they are both burning, and soon, the whole world will burn again too.

The only way to fix this is to go back to Ben and this woman, Jennifer or his mom or whoever she is. The team with Reginald's help needs to save them to save the world from being taken apart by the thing inside him unleashing it's wrath??? Maybe...?

Maybe there are those out there that want this to happen? Other Aliens, from Reginald's planet or another planet? Maybe they want the thing inside Ben to destroy the world and remove all the people, so they can take it?-like they did with Reginald's planet? This would be the true bad guy that I am talking about, meaning Reginald isn't really the bad guy in this story and neither was AJ Carmichael or even The Handler. The were just cogs in the wheel that had to turn.

What if it also goes back to the Marigold---To Reginald and his planet and everything he loved being destroyed? What if the Marigold was one of his or one of his people's creations-something that was supposed to save them, but Reginald was too late and sent this ethereal dusting of power to Earth to give them all a second chance?

What if something bad tagged along and found it's chance to reign supreme again by laying wait inside of Ben Or Jennifer?

I believe the show said something like this going down with Reggie and the demise of his planet, that stuff about bad things trying to take over and him trying to stop them but not being able, or maybe I made it up in my first TUA fanfic series, (🤪) but either way it really could be the thing that is driving all this something bad out there thing.

They think their power are good and they are, but maybe it's not exactly what it seems. It's morphing in all of them, getting stronger in some and not in a good way? Mainly in Ben.

Inside of him, in this portal, a strength like no other is about to implode? Or something they never wanted to follow them to Earth, something tagged along within its magic is about to come out through Ben and or Jennifer or both?

To win, they need to figure out how to harness the possibilities inside all of them and stomp it into submission, once and for all...

There.

That's it.

Super wordy as always, full of almost no real answers for you on how exactly the Hargreeves will beat this thing, but also full of tons of my silly brain babies that usually lead to nothing. Lucky you, you asked, and you got more of ramblings. 😁

Please feel welcome to punch holes in this stuff, that's what its all about and it's fun to try to guess the end. Talk me up, or chat with others in the comments section, or even go big and let me know your thoughts via my private message option. If you do it though the ask as an anon, I don't always reply if it doesn't seem like a question. I want to chat more to those types of asks but others probably don't want to hear our musings going on and on. 😉