#That singlets don't know what this specific kind of closeness is like

[angel---eater]

Okay but like, canon au where Dirk is actually plural. Hal is an alter, but they're just about to hit true awareness when Dirk makes that brain capcha, so Hal still firmly believes that he's also Dirk when he's in the shades. Dirk's had suspicions, but Hal has no idea because of amnesia barriers.

The strange, almost indescribable feeling of being empty and deprived of something before you even knew you had it with you. Them feeling that. Hal gets a body eventually, and its wonderful that they can touch each other and be together in the same space separately, but they are constantly missing the absolute intimacy of feeling each others thoughts and emotions. Neither of them can communicate very well, so they just make do with clinging to each other like koalas and pressing their foreheads and temples together on bad days. Closest they can ever get to sharing a brain again. In an ideal world they'd have both, but they can't. It's one or the other

[anendoandfriendo]

Okay, SO, it is No Nuance Monday (or...as close as it can get since we are RUSANYA) folks:

We don't know if this is an actual discourse again, or if there are just a few people being jackasses. REGARDLESS, we just want to make it clear we would rather someone have an "incorrect" name and not be a jackass, than for someone to have a "correct" name and for them to be The Worst Person On Earth?

What do we mean by incorrect and correct names? We're talking about folks who insist that headmates who are PoC, in a mismatching brainbody, should be separating from source, of course! 😭

Like, we ALSO think this applies to singlets: that said, we're plural and so our post is centered on plurals. Don't be a fucking jackass to plurals.

We're not saying there isn't a discussion to be had, but we also do not think names are the biggest problem in the world. We think a lot of people are mistaking cultural appropriation for cultural exchange.

(Not only because of, but still, ESPECIALLY if it's like...a fictive you're talking about, for example, someone made the fucking piece of media with the very explicit intent to be shared. Most systems do not have 100% control over who they gain. Even for those that do...it's like...we think there are ways to be respectful or sensitive about this, take that as you will.)

We're tired, let's be real here, it's probably just a few specific jackasses.

Speculation aside, we have seen that kind of shitcourse like three times by now before even MOVING to Tumblr. Do not bring that bullshit or any similar bullshit anywhere near our blog. We can and will fucking block you just like we would if you were bringing anti-endogenic bullshit into our notifications.

[indigochromatic]

System Stuff Weeklies #1

Alright let's do this-- I'm going to put up 2 questions, intentionally pretty broad, with some examples from ourselves; go ahead and answer either or both of them, and feel free to interpret them however you want in order to get you to something you're interested in talking about! (No direct pings this time, just to see how it goes)

1. What's your favorite image, metaphor, or description of how your system works "overall" that you use to describe yourself(s) to others? We're personally a big fan of calling ourselves a binary star system. Singlets are just one big star in the middle, and we might look kinda like that from far away, but actually we're two stars, approximately the same size, orbiting a common center together. Neither one of us is the "real one" or the "actual center", both of us are stars even though we might have different, idk, emission wavelength spectra and chemical compositions or whatever, and we're matched enough in "mass" that we balance. And like, it feels like it used to just be one star and a bunch of inert stardust around it, but then a Bunch Of Stuff happened all in the right order in the right ways and that stardust all kinda coalesced and hit the critical point to start its own fusion process and become a star in its own right. 2. What's something you feel like you've learned or gained from being a system/part of a system? Either from the experience itself, from each other, or from the process of learning how to do this whole life thing together?

For us, I think one big thing that L's learned is how to stand up for ourselves better--really for me, initially, and then by extension for herself, too. She tends towards being a conflict-avoidant little ball of slightly-anxious sunshine who just wants to be friends with everyone...even when that means defaulting to the assumption that she must be the one in the wrong, always. This didn't cause too many big obvious problems in her life initially--and then system stuff started for us, and then suddenly we were confronted by all kinds of assumptions and assertions that it would've been so much easier to go along with than to fight: "You don't really mean that you feel like he's 'real', right?" "It was so weird talking to you in that other persona, haha" "Unless you fit exactly these XYZ specific criteria you're not a system and everyone who says otherwise is an ableist faker" "But this is only happening because you met [system friend], though, of course. Like, you wouldn't be saying this otherwise." And yeah. We had a lot of really vicious system-doubt spirals for that first year and a half. But she looked at what was going on, and looked at what it was doing to me, and went, "fuck it, I have to change." And she has. Not overnight, not perfectly--but she's a hell of a lot better at it, because she put in the work to be: "No, actually, this would still be happening, I just wouldn't have the right words for it if I hadn't met [friend]." "This is a post from some random person on the internet who knows nothing about us, we can just close the tab and walk away." "He's a person, not a persona--please don't ever call him that again." "Yes, I do think he's real, exactly as much as I am." There's a lot more for both of us that I could talk about (for example, I've been learning to...accept help and affection and support better? Actually letting myself feel it rather than constantly operating from a scarcity mindset about it), but I'll leave it at this for now.

[rin-and-jade]

This question touches upon the notion of “traumagenic” and “endogenic”; as well as The Theory of Structural Dissociation. The Theory of Structural Dissociation seemingly supports endogenics as it states that there are “natural born” systems. They would be “endogenic” because they're not born from trauma, (as those who are “traumagenic” are).

I recently had a discussion with someone in a yt comment section about those two terms and they pointed me to you, so I just want to see what you think.

I believe in endogenic systems; because why would a book (the DSM) made by those who don't even experience plurality determine whether something exists or not? And as systems, those who are heavily categorized and misunderstood or looked down upon because they don't fit the singlet category, I feel as though we should embrace different forms of neurodiversity.

My questions are: what is the real line between "traumagenic" and "endogenic"? Are systems who were born as a system and weren't exasperated by trauma (like an endo) any less valid or real than those who were exasperated by trauma (traumagenic)? Or because of that theory, if that's how all systems work, aren't all systems "endogenic"?

Before reading: Long post. This purpose is to discuss and look at things in another pov, not intended to debate current beliefs/opinions. TLDR Provided. Last notes at bottom.

To clarify first, im in a neutral stance between the endo and traumagenic community as i focus more on the better of living for any kinds of plural people. Your question did seemed interesting and i had ever discussed this by myself on free time, so i do got some answers for you!

The line between these two are its origin and functionality, to put it in my opinion. The unique thing about plurality is that, i can totally see it being possible that it can exist outside of trauma.

Well, let me explain it to you like this:

An intact personality is where multiple facets are cohesive, and these facets that gives you that said personality is your identity. It's how you see yourself, and act like who you know. Basically, it's how you can act differently in different situations be it at school, at home, at somewhere else etc.

The thing about where personality is located in our brain has been a complex topic for scientists, if i remember correctly, there wasn't a specific spot for it as our brain has multiple areas with different functionality, and these regions cooperating creates a tangible output like how you react, or your typical behaviors.

I kept finding singlets discussing things that looks like really mild system things, and especially from this one youtube video (im so sorry i couldn't provide the link, it has been months ago i had watched but it discussing this too by a doctor or something. lmk if i have to find it again) quotes that the brain fools us into thinking theres only one 'kind' of us, not by it's exact words but close. These people can have different levels in terms of sense of personality unity btw, so not all singlets are the same either.

Now the origin and functionality for a traumagenic is different, because these states are being separated, and compartmentalized due to trauma. The presence of amnesia blocks the other side's of selves sometimes to severe degrees, now acting independently. There is also proof that the grey matter and the communication between regions are different, compared to a healthy brain (i can find the links for this too if needed). Well, you could read more about DID if needed.

So no, neither are less valid, but that doesn't mean both works the same or have the same processes either. Which means, not all systems are endogenic by origins.

Lastly, this is from what i had learnt and connect the dots over many sources i had read to ensure a wide perspective, nuanced understandings in topics. I am fully aware if some of you seem to disagree or see my views as wrong,, we have our own pov's ofcourse. i don't want to fight about validating my pov alright? Im also open to feedback/extra questions, im as well aware of the existence of fake/bad endos and do not support them.

TLDR: There are real life experiences and proof that supports the idea of being plural in mild/different ways, or ways that are different to traumagenics due to the complexity of the brain. Neither are the same in terms of how it functions and where it came from. Neither are also less valid.

- j

[confessions-official]

i'm definitely a singlet, but i have severe delusions about being plural and just. being closed off from everyone else in my mind. i have no lapses in memory, but i do often get severe mood swings where i act like a completely different person, like specific personality traits of mine are locked behind specific states of mind. like there's someone else in here and we just happen to share memories so closely that we think we're the same person.

my childhood was traumatic, but i can remember most of it. but i sometimes feel like there's parts of it that i repressed that were so bad that none of my family is willing to tell me about.

please note that this is different than the other recent singlet-sent asks about plurality. i am psychotic. these are delusions that haunt me. one of my partners is plural and often reassures me that these likely aren't true, but what do i know? i could be making these up entirely, i could be right, etc. i don't know how my own mind works, i possibly never will, and that scares me. i have to rely on other people to tell me what i'm like, because i have no sense of identity.

personally? i think i'm full of shit. i think i'm just some neurotypical nobody that's desperate to be edgy and special. i've just convinced myself that i'm delusional in a backwards way to comfort myself about having these honestly kind of ableist thoughts.

.

[antis-hell]

Hi! This is B from mycringethoughtsandcreations! It’s not my main blog so I don’t have the ability to ask questions from it, but I saw your reblog on my post and I’m so happy that you’re willing to talk about your experiences!

So my question is basically what is the correct way to validate a system? To tell them you’ll support them and all their alters? As a singular/singlet I don’t really understand the viewpoints of systems, and thus don’t know what is the best way to approach or talk to systems.

And if you could give some information on common system terminology that would be great!

Hey! Happy yall took up our offer:] any chance to talk about ourselves and we're all over it lmao/hj

The best way to validate a system really depends on the person (that's such a shit answer, but yeah;-;) For us, it's really just treating us like a normal person in one on one casual conversation, this is mostly cus we switch at pretty random times so to introduce yourself every hour can get a bit annoying, so we'd rather you just treat us like one(ish) person to save us the trouble.

In a more public space, like tumblr, we don't mind being treated as separate people (for example, asking, "Hey [Alter xyz], what's your favourite movie?" Becasue to us it shows you find us interesting rather than the whole bunch of us (think of it like asking one of your friends a question rather than your whole friend group at once, it shows you want to know that person on a more personal level) and tbh that also really makes our npd go brrrr/pos/lh

Although again as annoying as it is, not all systems are gonna be like this. Really, the best and quickest way is to ask! Most people in the community are more than willing to talk to singlets about how they prefer to be treated, so dont worry too much about negative responses:] or just follow their boundaries if they have those publicly posted that's also just the simplest way to support support anyone system or not

And for system terms I can do a few rapid fire ones I cam remember off the top of my head:] if there's any specific ones you'd like to know feel free to ask and I can tell ya what I know or what I can find about it:] (I'll put these under the cut because this post is already getting long god damm)

Introject: an alter that is based off an external thing like a character from a TV show or a song:] and also sometimes just physical objects in everyday life (we for example have an introject of a teddy bear we had as a child)

Fictive/Factive/Songtive: a more specific term for the type of media an introject is from, if it is fictional media like a TV character, they are a fictive. If they are sourced from a real person like an actor or youtuber, they are a factive. And if they are sourced from a song, like an alter that embodies teenagers by mcr (it's the first song that came to my head lol) or has memories of some of the things described in the song they can be considered a songtive

Singlet: a common one:] the medical term for anyone who dosent have DID or OSDD

Persecutor: a kind of role an alter in a system might have, I chose to do this one out of all kinds of roles since I've seen it be the most questioned/asked about, a persecutor is an alter that harms the body in some way, this may be by cutting off close friends or by physically harming the body in some way, this is mostly because they believe it is the right thing to do (for example cutting off friends because they think everyone will hurt them eventually) typically they are also hold trauma to some extent

Blurry: used mostly to describe a system that doesn't know who's fronting at the time. This might be because of heavy dissociation, or it could be because there are too many people in font to recognise every alter (there are other reasons, i think, but this is what happens most of the time)

This is all I could really think of at the moment;-; if there's anything else you want me to talk about, feel free to send another ask, and we'll be happy to help:] I apologise for any spelling/grammar mistakes we wrote this in a very hazy state so there might be some spelling errors

[petrichorvoices]

🍒 🌻 🍋 ☘️ ☔️ -TS/Roy

rainbow....

🍒 - funny story that happened in headspace?

did you know that with Solace's interior constantly changing, sometimes the staircase ends up being Really Really long and easy to slip on? did you know that sometimes Kevin and i will be arguing over nothing and accidentally stand too close to the stairs, both slipping, falling down several flights of stairs, resulting in Kevin having two black eyes and my nose being broken?

yeah. this happens a lot. it's at the point where i don't even fix my nose anymore, i just kind of let it be broken. every time after it happens people are all "again??? really you two???"

I think one time we were arguing over an airhorn when it happened, since I woke it up from a nap with an airhorn. That was great!

🌻 - do you use I/me, I&/me&, us/we, and/or any 1st person neos?

depending on the situation, we use all four

i/me for masking or speaking about ourselves as individuals, i&/we& to make it clear we're talking about us as a collective, us/we when we're generally talking about ourself/ourselves, and some of us use meus/wei when talking about a median system. i'm median and when wei're discussing that or talking about specific facets wei use that. that said, Kevin is also median and always uses i/me for that, so it's up to the person

🍋 - do you have a host? If so, who are they?

Hosts are myself (Mim), Kevin, and Cecil.

☘️ - what do you use to keep track of system members?

we use both PluralKit and Notion. most of our initial documentation is on PluralKit or our personal Discord server, and then us organizers are working through transferring documentation to Notion as well as making it more in-depth. we're working through headmates right now, which is..... quite the task. there's a lot of us!!!

☔️ - favorite thing about being plural?

i don't know. this would be like asking a singlet what their favourite part about being a singlet is. we've been plural for so long and it's so inherent to us that we don't know what it's like to not be plural. i think maybe though one of my favourite things is us talking to each other throughout the day, making comments and jokes and keeping each other afloat

like earlier today, we found some books on MPD in the university's library, and cracked jokes at each other while we read them. it was fun! and on the drive to pick up a footstool, we kept repeating the name of the city in different voices to each other since we thought it was funny, and tried to figure out how to not get lost {we got lost}. having this constant stream of conversation with each other is so important to us. some of the most important parts of our days are when we wake up and greet each other, and when we go to bed and all say goodnight

[ablednt]

i rlly appreciate ur blog and how u talk about how being plural is not exactly two specific disorders (completely DID or completely OSDD1b), it's a spectrum of dissociation and identity and stuff! ive known people who have relaxed by understanding that they dont have to know exactly what the name of their disorder is and just focused on communication or coping etc, and because of that, have later been professionally diagnosed with DID which they never would have if theyd been stressing themselves to fit some online ideal of DID/OSDD-1b. but... yeah! ive been thinking for a while its quite possible that i have something close to DID or OSDD1(a/b) but i don't really know. "my" personality is strangely fluid and i never feel like i know who i am, even down to whether my name is really my name or my pronouns are really my pronouns. and i don't usually have blackout periods (maybe three times in my life) but i do have dissociation + trauma (as my therapist has confirmed) and i sometimes randomly forget things that happened a few mins ago if it was stressful and the memories seem out of reach. or i suddenly stop feeling a heavy emotion and i can't feel it no matter how hard i try. and my head feels "busy" all the time, i talk to "my brain" and i can never tell if it's really me answering or not. etc etc its a whole thing yk but in the end maybe its like, it doesn't matter if i do have alters or if i do have a specific disorder that isn't yet diagnosed, maybe i can just work on my brain being right and getting over the trauma that caused everything and that's enough? anyway thats why your blog is really helpful, sorry for the rant

Sorry having trouble understanding this/nm but idm the rant and I'm glad it's helping

I would say it matters a lot whether or not you have alters not to anyone outside your mind but because it's a lot healthier for systems to be aware of who else is there so you can co exist better, if you're struggling to figure out whether or not you're singlet or on the plural spectrum keeping some kind of journal or just making a private discord is helpful because you can possibly communicate or at the very least notice any inconsistencies.

But yeah as to which dissociative disorder you best fit the criteria of that doesn't matter at all just focus on coping methods and grounding techniques they're the same anyway usually!

But yeah you don't

[rin-and-jade]

Hello, it is D again, returning with some news and answers and more questions :D

Starting off with some answers, I've only actively been aware of Shadow for a few months but they feel like they've always been there if that makes any sense? Their presence feels natural, but I wasn't consciously aware of them until like mid-July. I kinda feel him more if I talk about them ig, like he knows that they would wanna be here for that conversation? Additionally, when I feel "closer to them" per se, it does feel like my emotions are being influenced, at least slightly. Like I'll feel them move closer and I've got this tightly bound coil of anxiety in my gut that lessens when they move away again. I'm also kinda certain that he/they feels right when referring to them, like with pretty much anything else I get a strong feeling of wrong that I'm pretty sure isn't me? Idk tho

In news... there really is none. My attempts at finding stuff relating to memory and repressed trauma weren't very helpful unfortunately :/ but from talking with people apparently my particular flavour of memory loss isn't the most average of experiences so that's a thing (will probably elaborate more if I remember)

Ok questions!! This is more of a "do you guys know anything or can a follower help please" question than one that's really really intended for you guys lol but yeah. Is it a normal singlet thing to have these different personas, basically. Like you've got your online persona, your school/church/I'm-a-functional-human-being persona, your close friends persona, and your late at night persona. And these different personas are aware that the others exist and know more or less what they cover, but any specific memories with them are locked? Like for example I know that I went to school today but unless I magically become school-D right now I know zero specifics. Important to note that I have no control over when I "become" these personas, they just kind of happen. They all feel like me, but my memory is split up between them and they tend to respond to different names and have slightly different pronoun preferences. And sometimes if a memory from a time I don't have access to gets unlocked I start to get fed a lot of related memories like they're slipping through cracks in my brain and it gets rlly hard to figure out which persona I feel like :) is this normal or should I be concerned? Ideally I would like the different D's to talk to each other because online-D just straight up has no knowledge of homework existing it seems and while personally I (don't know who "I" is atm if we're going with the personas tho) don't really mind I just got a burst of agitation that I'm pretty sure wasn't me that implies that sentiment isn't shared.

There's probably some more stuff that I wanted to mention that I forgot about but my memory has been a mess lately and we're sick and I finally don't have that freaking insomnia so I'm gonna go to sleep now byee <3

I mentioned that this is from D right?

Hm.. i see, you can elaborate more with your findings later then.

yes,, it is actually normal for singlets to have different sides or "sonas" but only to an extent, they do not involve having locked memories from each other and in fact, can transition, and they know which they should be, they also know other kinds of memories (i have singlet friends and i observed them for long, but it is in my own interpretation) that isn't limited to the certain persona they're currently as.

There's a subtle sign that you're disconnected between each of your own sides? If that's how i see it. If you don't have the usual memory amnesia, what about the emotional one? Go check please, possibly look for osdd,, i hope others can give you some input too.

- j