#That sht is so difficult man

[asmodeusamaryllis]

I look forward to finding out...

[shinjisdone]

To Soften a Warrior’s Heart (Vinland Saga; Thorfinn; Part 9)

In which you have joined Askeladd’s band…and grow closer to the Son of Thors. Though it is more difficult than anyone can could ever imagine…

[Headcanons of how it would be like to meet and crawl your way into Thorfinn’s heart (based on season 1; both platonic and romantic)]

Part 1 is here - meeting Thorfinn at the age of 14 and how he is at that age

Part 2 is here - meeting Thorfinn at the age of 16/17 + headcanons of growing closer (slightly following s1 story)

Part 3 is here - blooming friendship with Thorfinn (slightly following s1 story)

Part 4 is here - Thorfinn unwittingly opening his heart as he realizes he does not want you to die

Part 5.1 is here - sweet things Thorfinn would do for you (headcanons)

Part 5.2 is here - other sweet things Thorfinn would do for you (headcanons)

Part 6 is here - meeting Canute and becoming his guard - Thorfinn accepts your relationship and bond

Part 7 is here - Canute grieving over Ragnar and Thorkell catching up; Thorfinn leaves you alone for revenge

Part 8 is here - Thorfinn wins against Thorkell; Questioning your bond with Thorfinn

Part 10 is here - Thorfinn and you bound by heart; Promises of Vinland broken and abandoned

Tag list:

@luopenis , @jinsecho , @mitsureigen , @theknightssecrets

Mentions of murder, death, war, slave trade, harrasment against women and whatever awful things happened in the viking era. Only mentioned and used as examples. Mostly gender-neutral examples but female-leaning ones are there, too.]

[This part will specifically mention: Slave woman purchased just to be killed, meeting with Leif, Thorfinn not giving a sht about Leif :( , and you are like??? bro that is LOVE, he loves you!!!!, THORFINN U IDIOT, Askeladd and Thorfinn dueling, Askeladd snapping, lots of plot-driven dialouge, Askeladd spittin facts, lost Thorfinn]

No, I Don't Want It, I Don't Want It, I Don't Want It...

No more was this a viking band - the majority has been killed by their own leader.

This was now the newest vessel of the youngest prince of Denmark. Leading of what remained of the men with Askeladd being his right-hand man.

Sailing along with all the tricks in the book that he had, all of which he had learned in his life felt like it was meant for a moment like this, for a future king like Canute.

And you had no choice but to go along with it if you wanted to keep on living.

Askeladd seemed more alive than ever. Youthful even as he grinned and spoke and chatted with Thorkell and Canute as if he had been waiting all his life for an opportunity like this. You and Thorfinn had never seen him this upbeat before, unless he was with Björn.

The man in question was still on a mat, resting though.

So in his usual fashion, the older man confidently stood on the boat with his typical shit-eating grin while crossing his arms. He spoke with carefreeness to the prince as they neared a dock in York. Left and right a crowd congegrated at the incoming ship, whispering among themselves on the return of prince Canute.

Yet as loud as their curioustiy was, deadly silent was the arrow that pierced the vulnerable chest almost precisely.

A thud ensued and a scream from your direction caused a commotion from the docks. The ship hurried to land and brought the wounded royal quickly to aid. While few ran over to him, another hurried away from the scene.

Clothes were ripped apart as someone abruptly stopped from taking out the arrow. The weapon was deep but what truly caused many to gasp and back away, was Canute himself approaching the dying woman.

You watched with a glare of anger (or perhaps pity? Indifference? Shock? Disgust?) as Askeladd casually trailed after Canute while letting out the obvious elephant in the room that someone apparently wanted him killed.

The leader made sure to purchase a slave with a form and stature similiar to the prince to act as bait. He ordered you to cause a commotion on land to have the culprit panic and escape from the scene - and then have Thorfinn silently get rid off him. To show the assasins that Askeladd is well aware of their presence and capable of taking them all out.

He has his tools for it, after all.

"Play the dumb but genuine witness," He grinned as he pointed at you before shooing you and Thorfinn out of his sight. Do your part and you'd all safely arrive at York. For now.

The perpetrator was cut down and the commotion that was supposed to bring the attention on the dying woman unfortunately was also brought to Thorfinn.

Still with his arm in a sling, he found himself surrounded by a few guards who also shadowed the culprit but put the blame on the young blonde instead. You hurried to him but even so, your own acting wasn't really able to save him.

"As if!" One pointed out, "You're just a kid, just like him! Obviously you two are in this together so you are trying to save his skin!"

"I told you, it wasn't me. It was him, he had the corssbow in hand."

Still, the guards were not relenting, drawing their swords at the two of you. Behind them was a much smaller man who called out, though his voice was way too meek compared to the spitting insults of the guards.

One insult too many and one step too close to you, and Thorfinn took one out with a single biff. As intimidating as the men seemed, they quickly turned tail and ran off at the sight of his two daggers.

"Thorfinn Karlsefni!"

The young lad who took Thorkell down with just two knifes - gossip turned real at the sight of the beaten blonde.

The scene clearing out so fast left you a bit relieved - perhaps speechless even. Would tension like this cease so quickly in the future too, whenever the name 'Karlsefni' was uttered?

Still, one stayed - the little man in the corner you had noticed. His green tunic was well kept for someone his age, short with half of his light hair already gone on his head. With his moustache spikey but kept short as well as his shining but wide eyes, you doubted this old geezer could pose as a threat.

"...Thorfinn...?" He muttered in a horse voice, "Thorfinn...Son of Thors? Are you the son of Thors?" With each word, he gingerly approached. You watched as Thorfinn merely rose a brow before his own eyes widened.

"...Uncle Leif?"

You watched with bated breath.

The hand on your weapon had long ceased shaking and resting upon it yet still; It was balled into a fist at your side.

Your eyes darted between the two men and their exchange of the past. With your back to the wall behind you and Thorfinn resting on the edge of the dock as this 'Leif' never seemed to stop talking about Thors.

About Iceland.

About family. An 'Helga' and an 'Ylva'.

"That does not concern me." Thorfinn uttered as he got up and adjusted his arm sling, "I am asking you about Vinland. Father wanted to go there and I want to know if you did anything about it."

"But Thorfinn," Leif stepped closer, his arms open as his eyes threatened to tear up again, "You don't need to be here. You want your revenge but what about your mother? She's been getting worse and worse ever since you got taken from us. Ylva has been worried sick as well, you could go back and see them. I'm sure Helga will feel better-!"

"I said that doesn't concern me!"

Swiftly the blonde spun back with dagger in his good hand. His face had quickly contorted into sheer rage once again. "I'm here to take my revenge! Nothing else!"

Seeming to lose air, Leif sobbed as his voice shook. "It's been enough! We've lost you since you were six, Thorfinn, six! You have been in this hell long enough, we can go back home! Go back to Iceland!"

You could feel it. Feel the familiar ire ooze out of Thorfinn. A hatred unrivaled and unequalled in a way you have never seen nor felt in your young years.

"Enough?" His tone was akin to a growl, like a switch.

"It will never be enough! Have you not seen it, how Father died?! As long as this damn bastard is eating, breathing and shitting, it'll never be enough! You hear me?!"

He tried to take a deep breath and in the next moment, grasped your hand and marched back to the boat with you in tow. His grip was tight enough to hurt you. Yet that was the least of your concerns.

Looking back, you could see the man tear up.

"I'll stay...I'll stay right here until you change your mind!"

Never have you heard of such absurdity before.

"I won't give you up, Thorfinn!"

A man from the past - a mere, old, harmless merchant - insisting on bringing someone back home, someone like Thorfinn. To have looked and searched for him. Embracing him tight like a son and weeping at the sight of him. Alive and safe.

"Let's go back home! Please!"

Such bravery, such determination for someone like Thorfinn. That is love, is it not?

You'd certainly feel loved if someone like that was searching for you.

"Let's go back to Iceland!"

I Don't Want It But I Know No One's There...

The day is quick to be over and morning approaches yet again.

Today at noon is the meeting with the king and all his investors and allies. Askeladd insisted on being there as well but you couldn't care enough about the details of high and mighty masteries.

About spying, about rumors, about hired assassins and slaves only to get rid of them...

You would love to say that Thorfinn shares your sentiment and he does but still approves on playing a puppet while you stay rigid and firm on the stage. Not moving.

You simply had watched. Watched as bands fought over a prince, watched as he tamed them like beasts, watched along as the band was reduced to mere three people that serve a royal now. Watched as Thorfinn continued to play along and along and along...

He was as focused as ever today. Today he insisted on getting his duel and revenge.

You sat still and watched. Perhaps a part of you adjusted his arm sling yet again. Out of kindness, out of pity, out of fear, anger, exhaustion...

You just didn't want him to die.

Gods, would it be awful. Would it be foolish if he were to die now.

Though it was noon, the sky was dark. Clouds forebode a storm or blizzard and Askeladd complained about the awful timing. How it had to be so close to the meeting...that two stubborn idiots insisted on dueling him now.

You went up the hill, next to Canute and Thorkell. Both of them said nothing as you invited yourself to their company.

Thorkell, who almost crushed you. Your shorter, younger body that of an insect compared to him, as well as in his eyes.

Canute, who was too bashful to glance at you. Someone who grieved and cried while clinging on your sleeve now seemed like a different, stronger person than you.

And the second dour fool...Björn crawled up the snowy path with nothing but a sword and his wound. He needed to go first and Thorfinn seemed to grant him that wish, watching from the sidelines.

Though the duel was quickly over. So fast and one-sided that it could barely be called a match, let alone a battle. Even as Askeladd held a sliver of shine and love in his eyes as Björn died in his arms, as he confessed his wish and reciprocated it with his own...as he gave him the final but merciful blow to send him to Valhalla...none could find it in their hearts to really feel anything for the old man anymore.

"...Awfully sorry to have kept you waiting, lad." He threw the blood off his sword with a clean swing after he covered the body.

While walking over to Thorfinn almost like in a trance, your eyes never left the snow sullied in blood nor the body growing ever so cold or the sword in Askeladd's hand.

"I shall be witness to this duel and as the prince here, I shall also be the one to decide when it ends." Canute spoke in a loud tone, it was hard to believe he only used to mumble. You didn't look back but felt thankful that he went out of his way to ensure Thorfinn's safety.

Even if that meant not satisfying him and his lust for vengeance.

And here you were in front of Thorfinn, yet again tugging and adjusting his arm sling - which he had also wrapped his dagger around, refusing to have it any other way while dueling the older man - to make sure it stayed put and firm. Firm enough to not have the weapon fall out of its grip and to not have the stubborn fool injure his arm more than needed.

He watched silently, his glare the moment he laid eyes on Askeladd today not yielding. Not softening at the sight of you as they ususally do.

Wordlessly you tug and tie and press the dagger deeper into the grip. Though your work is done, and even needless to an extent, your cold hands stayed on the sling. Cold, bare hands red from the chilling winter day. Hands that have seen and caused chaos gingerly carressed the sling and bandages alongside the blade. Your eyes never left it and neither did Thorfinn's.

No one commented a thing. All waited patiently for both men to begin.

Slowly, ever so slowly and reluctantly, your hands glided down his sling and swung back to your sides. Finally, you looked back at him and stared into his hardened eyes with your softened ones.

"...Don't die. Please..." Was all you could muster after an enduring silence. Thorfinn only left you there as he went up to Askeladd.

The sword is thrown into the snow.

Daggers in both hands, one broken.

Still, as he stood there, ready and unarmed with his neck so delicate and vulnerable, Thorfinn got pummeled nicely; One fist after another as he was headbutted, kicked, uppercutted, held by his hair and biffed until his face was red, blue and black. It was hard to watch.

Thorkell and Canute chatted about bets and strength. The giant of a man teasing you even for probably being the type to bet it all on your loyal friend and buddy Thorfinn even as he is getting the daylights beaten out of him. You refused to talk to him.

You never uttered a word during the duel nor to the other two, yet Canute could easily tell how tense you were with each punch Askeladd threw at Thorfinn. You were just watching with bated breath and a racing heart.

Even though this one-sided brawl was easily, so, so easily in Askeladd's favor, the leader grew more and more frustrated with each swing.

A fool. An idiot. Stubborn and small-minded, braying like a blind animal and lashing out in the most childish way he has ever seen. A real warrior.

How he wished he'd just get into his thick skull, use a bit of his brain! Just a damn bit for once, that complete moron!

Yet as he kicked him for one last time, having the young man fall head-first into the snow, knocked out cold, he rose his sword over his head, only to quickly raise his other arm the moment he heard stomping through the snow.

Canute had called out to you as you rushed towards the man with your own blade - cutting into his hand as he stopped the weapon from piercing through his chest.

Your glare was as dark as thunder and so akin to Thorfinn's. It made him laugh and just as frustrated.

"Calm down now. I didn't even harm a hair on his head." Askeladd gestured to tip of his sword dug into the snow, right next to Thorfinn's head. Swiftly, the man grabbed your own blade, pushing you away with a shove and shaking the blood off his palm. He eyed you with a matching scowl. "Don't get worked up over an fool like him. He'd just cause you trouble."

You paid no attention to his words. Throwing your weapon aside, you were fast as a storm, kneeling by Thorfinn's side and turning him around, holding him in your arms.

"Thorfinn! Thorfinn!" As you attempted to waken him, Canute followed close behind you, yelling out that the duel was over. Askeladd did not reply but instead, took a seat on a few bricks of an abandonded bridge. With a scoff he watched the young blonde regain conciousness but even as he awoke in your arms, the simpleton just jumped to his feet despite his injuries and whipped his head around in search for his prey.

Even as Canute explained the outcome and even as your hands and arms supported him like a mother, as Thorfinn looked dumbfounded at your hurt gaze at the sight of his blue, bloodied and pummeled face...he was still looking for Askeladd.

His blue eyes watched as you tried to wipe the blood off his nose, at the mere graze of your touch had the young viking jump in pain. It must hurt so much to see him make a fool of himself time and time again. Nevertheless, he keeps on crawling back to Askeladd and it sickened him.

For the first time in a long while, Askeladd called out your name in a calm and placid manner.

"Don't waste your enegry on an moron like him. He keeps on getting these injuries because of his own stupidity...you're better off without him."

At that Thorfinn let out an offended groan - Askeladd gestured to his outburst with an unimpressed sneer. "As I said. The idiot brays, then takes out his weapons and thinks himself the hunter as he charges head on while going for my neck. He thinks he's already won...by just roaring out a little victory chant and throwing himself into battle, just like all these self-proclaimed warriors do. They've all lost sight of the nice things in battling."

"Björn was right...I hate all warriors like that. Bastards that take, rampage, pillage, kill and then rob an entire culture of all that they had. Especially those Nordics...those vikings." Taking a deep breath, he called out calmly once again. "Laddie. Let me tell you...how to really murder an abhorrent bastard."

Don't Let Me Go, I Have Nothing Left To Lose...

His eyes never left him. Nor you.

The tale was as old as time for him, funny even in a way. A past that shaped him and all his actions he has done and will ever do but simply reciting it all brought a few chuckles out of him from the memories. The treatment. His mother and her belief of an returning king. The never-ending mountains of ash. The fools of half-brothers he used to have. All the wealth from the murder. The soft 'Why?' as his father met his end.

He didn't even think he'd remember that much!

But it all did happen...he remembered the respect he earned and how he dug her grave in Wales. It is all still there, he hoped.

The kid knew how to kill him now...he wondered if he would actually suceed after hearing his advice.

"So you know now, Thorfinn if you listened to me of course. I've managed to kill my most hated enemy within two years and still here I stand about ten later. Use your wits for next time, you damn numbskull." The man had long stood up and marched over to Björn's cold body. He threw one brief glance over his shoulder to Thorfinn - who was simply fuming in his own blood.

"Shut it!" He got up as briskly as he could from your arms, "Shut up, bastard! I'll, I'll kill you! Until my final breath, I'll rip out your heart! I will definitely-!"

Another clang. The sword hit the snow, it's tip dug deep within the earth. With more fiersome intent than him feigning the final blow on Thorfinn. If you were not mistaken, you reckoned to hear the metal crack.

"Damn it all. You're really pissin' me off."

In an attempt to control his anger, Askeladd balled his shaking hand as he scowled like a wounded beast at Thorfinn. The latter was startled, you noted.

"...You talk about killing and killing and killing. Yet you haven't achieved a single thing. Look at you, lad. You're covered in blood, snot and saliva, it's disgusting. You had so many, so many chances to kill and gut me yet you never used your damn brain for any of them! Look at you!"

With a sudden shout he pointed at him. You and Canute could not help but jump in fright. "You're quick, you're strong, you're talented! I can't deny that...and still you insist on going off on your emotions and losing each little duel you so wholeheartedly persist on! Keeping on losing your cool and brainlessly charging forward. You had so many chances, Thorfinn, and you had equally as much chances to get killed for your brainless behaviour if it weren't for them!" His digit went to point at you. Your breath got caught in your throat.

"If it weren't for the only damn friend you got in this messed up world, you'd be long dead! You owe them more than I owe you! And still...they're gonna end up being the death of you, too."

With a sharp gasp, Thorfinn once again swung his dagger at him. However, he struggled to catch his breath. "Don't bring them into this! This, this is between you and me! It always has been!"

"Don't be laughable, boy!" Askeladd bellowed at him, "It always has been until they arrived! Little dog that you are, you clung onto their hip since then and today as well! Your little attachment will get you killed, fool!"

Oh, how long Askeladd had waited to say that straight to his face! Thorfinn's attachment to you will end up killing him! And what good does that bring when a corpse can't avenge his father?

You watch with a darting, wide gaze between the men. Thorfinn kept denying it, throwing his tantrum with the same threats as before - the same threats he has been spitting his way since he was six years old - only for Askeladd to point out every. Single. Thing. He has ever done for you, sacrificed for you and only you. For your survival. For your honor. Everything. He can't fool him, boy.

"It all started with your absurd, small 'trades'. Yes, I've seen it as you threw them that bunny as amends. I've noticed you bringing in the horses, fix your gear together, having each other's back on the battlefield as you barely even acknowledged our existence. You think I haven't been paying attenton aside from our duels?"

He saw it in the early dawn of spring when you hunt and Thorfinn shared his prey with you. He witnessed it in the deadly cold night of winter when you are huddled and cuddled close together. He saw it when Thorfinn's dear dagger is in your hands as if it was nothing and the lad doesn't see anything wrong with it. Damn it, he sees it in his smile! He smiles when near you, at you and is brought only by you!

Boy, you are laughable!

"And when I told you to go fetch His Highness from Thorkell's men in an exchange for a chance to kill me, you just had to turn around and save their skin. You are as predictable as I thought, Thorfinn." Askeladd couldn't help but snicker, "I've given you so many chances and you all threw them away the moment your little friend just seemed to be in danger. You can't even focus on your goal, idiot, you kept on prioritizing a life that won't help you achieve it. Maybe if they'd never joined, you would have long gotten your revenge."

Askeladd calmed down enough to grin and jest, "But no," He feigned disappointment and shook his head, "You still refuse to have a bit of your wits about you. When I threaten your friend's life, you throw yourself in front of them. When I tell you to fight Thorkell the Tall, you do so only to be the one to chop off my head. And now...you are here. And so am I. Really, you've helped me along the way, Thorfinn...you've been an useful tool."

The young viking stepped back with a choked breath and a gut-wreching hole in his stomach that seemed to take his heavy heart.

"You're like a dog chasing after food. I should be thankful to Thors."

Everything seemed grow hazy around. The cold, the figures talking away, the ground underneath him. The air seemed more piercing with every breath he so depserately struggled to fill his lungs with, fill it to live but that seemed like a task too great for him. Pain shot through his broken arm and his legs gave out as the snow softened his fall. Everything dislimned before him as if all this never happened at all.

You caught him before he could fall into the snow and suffocate. His body freezing and heavy against you. The second dagger slipped out of his hand.

[spideyjimin]

jungkook‘s character and his baybmothers character disgusts me.

i don’t like how he feels entitled to take time away to „think“ about this situation when he didn’t do it in the first place like a man who‘s raising a child for years should’ve done. he wanna act like he has a „perfect“ family well let’s unpack how he’s not even a man in the first place. he doesn’t know how to raise his daughter and put boundaries with his babymother including not talking about his past relationships with her when they’re not together i mean yeah you can be friends and what not but i don’t feel comfortable knowing his babymother knows about oc when she a) doesn’t even know oc and her past and b) puts her two cents into the situation when she has no right to all because she’s oh so worried for kookie right? like get the fvck out of here (sorry for cursing but she doesn’t come off as innocent you‘d like her to be) i also could care less about his damn daughter or the name of her even when it makes me angry knowing he did it out of spite like who in the right mind would do that knowing your „love of the life“ wanted that name for her own child?again his character just shows us how immature and childish he was and still is he didn’t change and never will. i mean he has a child and didn’t choose to change his attitude why would oc think he’s gonna do it for her now lol? hes the most selfish man i‘ve ever read in a fic and im not trying to bash your characters it’s just shows how we involve us with your story’s because it’s so interesting right? so pls don’t think this is me criticizing you no. i would also like to add that i believe his babymother is threatened by oc bc why else would she say stuff like that to jungkook (no i don’t believe that she’s worried for him lol💀) i mean where was she when he fucked around? could’ve told him to stop doing it before he has a 2nd babymother and what not see this is why i don’t like her she’s threatened bc oc is not like the others im pretty sure she’s scared that her own child’s gonna call her mom or some sht.

also i do not wish for oc to take him back, she deserves way better than this whole sht show. i also don’t like how she should take care of his daughter later on fuck his family (ON GOD) when she can have her own kids on her own with somebody who’s willing to take their time and energy to understand HER and HELP HER instead of tossing her away when things start to get difficult and as if she didn’t have feelings too. i wouldn’t want to be tied down with these kinds of people in real life they give off to much toxicity and some might think where did you come up with that when you can see it how they act as if everything was ok between them. god im gonna puke bc i didn’t forgot how he said „this is my perfect family“ well then whats stopping yourself from pursing your babymother idiot? he did all of this to hurt oc let himself get manipulated by his babymother and i don’t fuck with that at all especially if you have a child and are in an age where you don’t have time to play around. #teamoc

sorry for writing so much and again hope you didn’t get offended about your characters i love you’re writing it definitely makes one think about how they would’ve done in such and such situations. 😊💛

since it was a long ask & i don't want to make a long post, my answer will be right under 🤗

hi angel, first of all, thanks a lot for your ask 💞 i wasn't offended at all by your ask, i've liked reading all your thoughts on the fic & especially on jk, it has made me laugh a lot 😂 i also take them into consideration for perfect time, it helps me build the characters and it also helps me to understand how you perceive them. because i imagine one thing but i can be understood totally differently.

the perfect example is eunjin, the baby mama. for me, she's simply trying to help, she doesn't want anything from jk and she doesn't feel threatened by oc because she isn't in love with jk nor does she believe that her daughter would call oc mom. she's concerned and wants to help. i didn't build her to be toxic but some of you perceive her like that.

then yeah, jk has been acting like a complete idiot. he hasn't moved on at all, and is very immature. he simply was overwhelmed with everything & didn't know how to act when he finally got what he desperately wanted for 10 years.

for sure, oc deserves better, jk didn't treat her right. he didn't move on from their relationship & treat her badly when she's finally back. however, I want to believe that people can change with time & maybe jk will change in the future 🤷🏻‍♀️

honestly, reading your ask made me even more excited to share perfect time with you but it's still in progress 😭 once again, thanks a lot for your ask, it was a pleasure to read it 💛

[tiodolma]

Merlin saying “morgana will just harden arthur and uther’s heart”and him putting the blame on every other magic user who try to uppend the system for making magic look bad while he’s stays safe and hidden behind the castle walls and under the royalty’s protection is so deliciously ironic and hypocritic.

He’s not even piloting some kind of peaceful activism himself. He’s not even showing another means of peaceful revolt. He’s not even stirring up the hearts of people who think like him, that the pendragon heir is the right choice after all. If merlin and like-minded people wanted that change shouldnt it have been better that more people knew about arthur’s destiny with magic? Shouldnt there have been more social pressure on arthur to fulfill that? Why did that information only stay with a chosen very secretive few?

Coz look i get merlin’s motives. He doesnt want an arms struggle. He wants the change to be gradual and a smooth transition. The magic people and the current admin arent ready, etc, etc.

But how are people supposed to slowly change their stance on magic if he also isnt doing anything other than just protecting the pendragon heir without question and without recognition, without hint that magic was a weapon that can be used for safety?

Why do other magic users have to be the one to “show the way” and not him himself? Isn’t merlin just protecting his own ass while the embittered magic folk risk their own lives everyday, exposing themselves and fighting for their right to live everyday? Is it not unfair for merlin to expect good and peaceful things to miraculously happen while he keeps staying in secrecy and relative safety compared to others like him?

Enough of that. Say. He really thinks that protecting the oppressor’s life by playing God again and again is the path to justice is the right thing. Fine.

It’s still not enough. Coz his champion is ignorant and Highly Dismissive of the values he is supposed to represent in Merlin’s head: freedom for magic, fairness, equality. Arthur is stubborn and willfully blind and entrenched in his own prejudices and uprbringing.

Merlin’s tactic of “i’ll tell him whats wrong and hopefully he will listen if not i will sulk and arthur will be upset that im upset so maybe he’ll reconsider but often he will not until he realizes his mistake because bad sht that i warned about already happened then he will begrudgingly do what i told him to in the first place” isnt enough.

Merlin is just one man, he’s a man that is so low in rank compared to his supposed best friend, the head of state, that his words dont really matter until they do and its only usually because of arthur’s bruised ego.

More people should tell Arthur off jfc. The nobility, the masses, the other kingdoms. They should have all been able to apply pressure on Arthur, not just Merlin or Gwen.

Look this is what merlin needed to really spearhead his ideas or wtv bullsht the prophecy entailed

Merlin had to apply pressure on the monarchy on all fronts.

Launch a propaganda machine, spread the word that arthur is going to bring back magic. Like do write ups, spread pamphlets , give the masses smth to think about and do it under a false name, etc.

Collaborate with others who think like him and Not Hide (difficult to do since gaius loves to rat out and help imprison these kind of magic-kin despite him believing in the same prophecy)

Find a way that Arthur hears those rumors, actually drop hints that magic was protecting the kingdom all along. If not Merlin himself, then Arthur must hear those rumors of him being savior of magic from more people.

Find some noble who is sympathetic to their cause at least. (Like how morgana had agravaine and helios... that means powerful people LIKE THAT existed in merlin’s world. It is also possible that somebody out there would have allied with him and give merlin better political backing if he just tried -moot point again cause gaius would just rat them out to the king and advise against it)

Jfc Merlin should just step into his role as kingmaker in the light. I mean he already is one but he is denial.

i get what everyone here is thinking. This is too smart and “manipulative.” This is something like what Morgana and the other magic-folk do.

Then That means the magic folk were already doing so many kinds of protests and machinations to send their own message. The lot of them didnt even need to kill. They played by the rules of kingdom-making and used politics/established social order as a sort of protest to inspire the change they needed.

Example the Unicorn Guy did so much economic damage that people started to doubt the Pendragon dynasty’s claim to power. It was bad for the Pendragons’s image but good news for the magic folk since the ordinary citizens will just turn against the ruling dynasty on their own! That is an example of an effective non-arms struggle btw! It’s smart and a not a lot of people will have to die unecessarily! And it kind of spurred a temporary change of heart for arthur too!

My point is. Merlin. If he really wanted social change. Should have worked smarter and more efficiently. Governmental change will never happen with just one miracle event.

Most of the successful ones happen when the masses AND the ruling class have the same goal. If Arthur was truly a people of the masses and ruling class, then he would try to satisfy their demands in order to prevent riot or defection.

But what do i know? Maybe knowledge and tactics more complicated than “eliminate threat permanently asap” are inherently evil after all.

[geographerdose]

Celestial Screenshots Destined for Fame, Part 5:

Marvin Gaye

⚠️⚠️ TW: death, violence, abuse, childhood trauma

All of the information used in this article was taken from Marvin Gaye’s Wiki page/biography. I am a student of astrology and thus all that I have learned in that course deserves the instructor’s credit, along with all the astrologers before him from Vettius Valens to the translators of ancient texts. I thank you for passing on this knowledge and am grateful to receive it. To protect his privacy and name (because what if I’m completely butchering these concepts, lmao) I will keep it to myself. I believe in the importance of giving credit where it is due and thus that is my intention here. I also believe in the right to privacy and thus that is my secondary intention.

🌖 First things first, his chart ruler is the Moon. It falls in his third house (where it has its joy).

🏆 It is being opposed by benefic of the sect in favor which is good despite it being a difficult aspect because at least both planets see each other.

🍀Even better is the fact that Venus is exalted in Pisces, while Jupiter is in its domicile. These are both benefics and in the place of God. I do know he started singing in church as a child and I believe he remained religious. I get the feeling he had a strong faith but it does not say outright.

🎤 I imagine this would give one an extra big voice and the man is a legendary vocalist. He was a pioneer that helped shape the Motown sound.

🎺 His Moon is also in opposition to Venus, although by sign vs degree and I believe this helped make his voice beautiful. Since Venus beautifies and Jupiter expands.

🥇But first of all, he was SO meant to be a star/famous simply looking at the ruler of his chart. Since the moon is not in its own domicile, it must rely on its ruler Mercury. It is up in Aries conjunct the Sun and Saturn, all dangerously close to his MC. {this stellium will be important later}

🏹 Even though the Moon has a 15 degree range, his Sun falls shy just a couple degrees. Or else his chart ruler would be in aspect to that Aries stellium near his MC directly.

🍑 However since the ruler of the house holding his CR is in aspect to the Sun+Saturn near the MC, the effect is basically the same.

💼👔Ruler of the tenth house is under the beams and thus career significations are hidden —> he had no desire to become an R&B singer when first signing to play drums. His first single release failed and he continued to play drums for other bands.

🚔“What’s Going On” was delayed in its release because of its political implications but ended up being a massive hit once released. I believe this is partly the example of Mercury and Saturn being under the rays. Mercury is associated with words and Saturn is associated with long-term rewards, both under the beams of the Sun so hidden. That song was sort of like a hidden slice of fame that eventually got brought to light.

👮🏻‍♀️It was inspired after witnessing police brutality at an anti-war event.

🎬 Also I found it interesting that he would perform with his eyes closed and was criticized as appearing to be sleeping, being told to open his eyes while performing. He refused to go to the grooming school which is something I would expect of an Aries stellium native {love it}

⚠️⚠️ TW: death, violence, abuse, childhood trauma

🪦Alright so I was trying to see if I could predict how he died using astrology since I did not know when I originally started this post a few weeks ago. I could not have even guessed the crazy sht that actually went down but looking at the astrology afterwards, it makes so much sense.

🙏🏻My honest to God “guess” toward cause of death before reading his Wiki: ➡️ “Lack of communication related to his work as a voice artist, possibly regarding siblings or children.”

👩‍🦯I completely overlooked both significations of the father though, with his eight house of death being ruled by Saturn (then bc Saturn is not in its own domicile, it must rely on its ruling planet Mars which falls in Capricorn).

💢He intervened an argument between his parents and his father shot him twice.

🟥 A square exists between Mars and Saturn. Saturn is also squaring Chiron+Pluto. Then Mars is opposing Chiron+Pluto. I believe this accounts for his abusive childhood at the hands of his father. He regularly received beatings. He even had a half-brother due to his fathers extra-marital affairs.

🌵Died during a ninth house profection year on the eve of his 45th birthday. The lord of the year was Jupiter, which is the planet in his chart capable of doing most good but it is opposing his Moon, representative of Native’s physical vitality. (The opposition possibly in effect here.)

🎼Passed away during “chapter 3” of his life during a fifteen-year Aries period. With a day chart, Mars is the malefic contrary to sect and ruling this period.

🪗 His peak periods are Libra and Capricorn, with Cancer as a moderate peak and Aries as a minor peak.

☠️ Level 1 Aries —> Level 2 Cancer —> Level 3 Cancer —> Level 4 Aquarius on 1 Apr 1984

🏜️ His eight house of death is Aqua, as is his Lot of Spirit. This is not a concept at all but still interesting bc I believe I came across a similar situation with Chris Farley (I will have to check).

🏈 Did you guys know he almost played football professionally for the Detroit Lions? Then legality regarding his music career stopped it or something. But, yeah, a man of many talents!

[kokanno]

I feel like I can post all night, somehow I'm able to writing very long things ONLY when I'm feeling emotional, usually when I'm sad or angry, I'm super pissed off, because I can't seem to make any money, ohhhg for foods sake!, I feel like a freaking Incel that sits in his effing basement on the computer all day hating the world right now..., because I like and feel like I try so hard to be positive..., but I can't but help worry about sht...

I'm going through some family problems... too,.... rhhgh don't want to get into it..., I know why are all supposed to go through life with some pain and suffering, and it could be worse..., but man... it's becoming difficult... and I have always noticed the same thing over and over again, time and time again!, can someone tell me WHY THE F! DO EVIL PEOPLE ALWAYS PREVAIL THE MOST IN THIS WORD!, and all have the most freaking money!, I'm speaking facts! just read/watch history, and you'll see that the most EVIL! people, have always been the most successful and rich people in the world, of course I'm not going to mention any names here, because I don't want to get silenced, but it's been pissing me off, because I'm going through some irritating sht, and a lot of what I'm going through (probably 75%) of it, is due to financial problems, that's right effing money! again!, like usually, I had a job... but I was an ungrateful idiot and I quit it..., I also didn't want to be a slave... be looked down on and disrespected (by other employees), well need I mention more?,

I mean I'm sure we all have worked before, so all of you probably have been through the same kind of thing before. anyways... I guess I'm just trying to get stuff off my chest tonight...

you all have... a wonderful...day..night...morning.. wherever you are in the world... be safe...

[tracksidequeen]

Partners in Crime

Summary: Toto is having a difficult time needing you more than ever.

Request: Hi darling, idk if it’s too bad to ask this, but maybe can we have a soft soft toto, littl angst, after all this sht happening this weekend, like just imagining him being worried for his team and for you being there with him, so arriving home after all… you just need to cuddle together and grateful for him being the best partner in crime 💕💕

Warnings: husband!Toto, bit angsty to cute/borderline tooth rotting fluff, Godfather reference 👀, emotional scene, physical expression of anger (absolutely not towards reader), lovebites and lots of cuddles that follow

Words: 600+

*****

The moment he entered the car his masking smile faded into an exhausted stare, and you took Toto’s hand in yours. Without saying a word you drove all the way back to the hotel in silence. You wanted to console him, to hug him, let him know everything was going to be alright, but you know Toto and you could read from his absentminded body language that he needed a moments with his thoughts.

But seconds after he stepped foot into the hotel suite the dams broke loose. “FUCK!” Toto screamed while throwing his bag through the room knocking over the lamp on the side table next to the sofa.

“Babe, calm down, you’ll hurt yourself,” you screeched; to which he looked back at you with big, dilated eyes, in a fight or flight stance. 

Toto is the strongest man you have ever known, his fighting spirit, his determination, but every man has his limits, and Toto had reached his. For all the times he had been your anchor holding your feet to the ground during life’s storms, you knew right now you had to be his. 

“I try so hard, you know?” he whimpered. With his hands gripping his hair he fell down on the sofa. “Answering all these media questions with a message of hope, and making jokes to keep the team positive, and smiling even though-”

“I know darling,” you softly interrupt him as you hear his voice crack. “But you don’t have to hide when you’re with me.” 

He looks at you with glistening eyes that have contours around them showing his exhaustion and desperation. He shakes his head and throws his face in his hands again to somewhat hide his emotions.

It broke your heart to see him like this.

“Come here baby.”

You sat down beside him, took his hand and pulled his body in, against yours; into a warm hug. In your arms you felt his muscles relax as he placed his head on your chest. Locked in the tight grip of your arms and legs wrapping around him, your tight embrace showed him how he didn’t have to carry the weight of the world on his own.

“Sorry for my temper, Schatz,” he says apologetically and you place a kiss on his forehead. “Thank you for sticking by my side, I wouldn’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Honey, no matter the weather I will never leave your side. And that is not something to ‘thank’ me for babe, it is a prerequisite of my love for you.”

Soft stokes of your finger coat his cheek and your fingertip catches a tear going down his face. “Toto,” you say with a soft tone.

“Toto, look at me. It’s us against the world. Remember our vows?”

He tilts his head up so his eyes meet yours and together you whisper “partners in crime”.

With little butterfly kisses you trace the stream his tear followed down his face. His cheek creases from a smile that was forming, and he shrugged “your family didn’t really like that one, did they?” 

You let out a laugh, and he continues, ���half of them probably thought you were marrying a maffia boss or something.”

His head bounces on you chest at the pulses of your laughter you were unable to hold in and you shake your head at his remark. “Well, you made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. I married the best mob boss in town.”

His eyes grew big with surprise, “did you just... quote The Godfather..?”

In excitement he gave a lovebite in the slope of your shoulder as you asked him if you referenced it correctly. To which he responded with a sweet sloppy kiss on your lips, that followed with a childish look on his face and a big silly smile that only your husband could have about something as trivial as this.

“Oh Schatz- I truly am a blessed man.”

————

TagSquad: @wetforwolff @panic-on-the-disco @black-repunzel99 @babywolff  @amylizzy91 @misswolff @amylizzy91 @bekybekybeky @ritajammer21 @laura-naruto-fan1998  @washababe @piceous21 @fede18 @amoregia @jujugrins @hereforthegoodtimesx @nomnomnibblenibble @dr3-fangirl   @isentyouanemail @langdonsluxiouslocks @liadamerondjarin  @vroom-vroom-bitch  @kepaxchillystars   @tiredbuthappy  @marwin-hitz @kissa-ki @lilozg-123   @mjw3  @purplewis44  @hannelchen   @f1msc  @shinywrites  @the-lazy-leprechaun  @witches-of-discovery-a  @embersparklz  @oliviahoneymoon  @lizziesutherland1​ @ihavegreycurtains   @f1himbos   @vettelwrites  @totowolffpage  @dannyr3  @umhaeva @professorkrasinski @still-i-rise-44  @lsspsunflower  @f1thirsttraps  @danielricciardhoes  @marvel-f1-and-more @totostanxxx @lewisdidthat @whore4toto​ @tony-stank3 @mysticalnightenthusiast​ @18mlkysht  @lewisthoughts  @starlightoctavia @ihavegreycurtains 

[summercreolefanfictioner]

😲📸 can i ask for a aleksi and maya first time interaction? it'd be so complex to they meet to me

Here's a gift to my followers, especially those that crave badass women vibes

alexandra and maya sakamaki: the beginning of the end of the beginning

Hmm if I'm being honest, Aleksi and Maya's relationship kind of mirrors Loid and Yor's dynamic from Spy x Family (just make it platonic big sis-lil sis friendship and imagine them working together)

It's like spy x assassin combo right there

So yeah as mentioned from @besnella 's post of how Aleksi first saw Yui, it was also the same time Aleksi met Maya and guuurl the height difference between them is so large, Aleksi looks like her big sis (I want a big sis omg)

Just imagine Aleksi's 185 cm height vs Maya's 145 one. Go figure.

Aleksi thought "ah this girl's cute" cause Maya has this Japanese standard look on her, ya know long coal hair, sharp doll eyes, pale skin, the works (she actually reminds Aleksi of those Japanese kokeshi dolls, ya know it's like Japanese matryoshkas)

On the other hand, the only thing that comes to Maya's mind when she saw Aleksi was "fire" and "power" (Alexa, play Girl on Fire)

Aleksi heard of Maya being a former human who turned into an incomplete vampire bcos of a blood transfusion spell, then was later on sired by one of the Sakamaki's and married her to seal the deal.

Yeah, as if Karlheinz wreaking havoc in the demon and human world is not enough, he had to make his spawn man child (this is Kanato but let's pretend we don't know him) wed the poor doll.

So one time Aleksi was becoming the queen of the night, enjoying the party to bliss when she nearly had her fall and someone was pouring wine.

Good thing, Maya managed to save her, catching her by the arm before matters got worse.

And yes, some obnoxious gaslighting vampire noble became the victim of that pouring wine but we don't care abt them cause they just think of us humans as blood bags anyway

That was just the beginning.

One day, Aleksi was assigned on a mission, but not just a mission where she kills and retrieves info then go.

The thing is, she can never be caught. Like she had to make it seem like the vampire drug den and all the people did not exist. And even though it's relatively easy, Aleksi cannot move hastily.

Because one, the den was located in the human world and the person behind it was some famous personality sht. It's like Karlheinz being Togou Sakamaki in that world.

Pft. Fucking asshole

But she was just informed that someone is backing her up from the shadows so she just needs to do her usual work.

So yeah the mission went smoothly. Aleksi murdered the mastermind, got the files she needed from their inventory room, etc. She was about to leave the damn place when she heard a man scream from the hallway.

The next thing, the fvcking sht was crawling his way towards her.

Aleksi made a stance, readying her gun to end his poor fate when the man suddenly stopped in his tracks then died, blood spilling from his mouth.

After a few minutes, Aleksi saw Maya enter the room casually, unscathed like nothing happened while holding her silver bow and arrow.

Maya bowed to her in respect.

"Thank you for your work, miss. I will handle the rest."

Aleksi didn't expect that but oh well

And the next thing, Maya summoned all her skeleton familiars from the demon world to fix the mess in the den. Like the den has to be freaking empty, to a point that no one had been there.

"Have you been doing this for a long time now?"

Maya nodded. "It's quite hard to clean blood once it has dried up so I've been fixing things before they get quite difficult."

And that's how they bonded. Turns out, Aleksi will prob have missions involving Maya since the vampire doll is tasked to ensure no mythical beings (esp vampires) are causing havoc in the human world.

Aleksi "So do you just cover up their mess or you kill them?"

Maya "Depends. Most of the time, I just kill them in the dream world so they would die of natural causes."

It was purely a strict business relationship between the two... until Aleksi started sending her snake familiars to Maya so they can bond over other things like shopping, spa, salon etc

Like there was one time Maya was serving snacks to the Sakamaki bros when a small snake appeared and wrapped itself around her hands

I swear Ayato freaked out and thought their family doll has a secret pet snake. Even Reiji was so ready for his lecture when Maya just casually told them

"It's a snake familiar sent by a business partner."

But yeah Aleksi taught Maya things like dressing up for the mission, what kind of makeup she should put on during disguise. Even taught her how to wear a wig properly so Maya won't have to deal with tons of hairstyle accessories just to make her hair different for every mission

"Just dye your hair, Maya-chan! I bet you'll look pretty in blonde."

"... I still don't want to."

Sometimes they would bond during training sessions, especially when Maya wants to vent out abt the Sakamaki bros, like when they screw up somewhere and want her to clean up their mess.

"I swear I will kill Ayato-san if he weren't my husband's older brother." 💀💀💀

But yeah overall they trust each other completely with their life, and it's evident by how they watch each other's back during missions.

If Aleksi was the one fighting the battles, Maya will work in the shadows to ensure no one gets in her way.

[sunflowersunshinevol6]

Pomegranate

Part One

Pairing: Harry Styles x OC

Warnings: gang activity, drinkng

Summary: A retelling of the myth of Hades and Persephone with a modern mob twist.

Word Count: 4.1k

Stephanie has spent the first twenty four years of her life sht in away from the world by her worriesome mother, who refuses to let anyone hurt her daughter after her lovr abandoned them. But when Harry Styles, one of the big three Olympi ‘brothers’, stumbles upon her, he has to have her, at whatever cost

A/N: I really loved this one. It’s one of my favorites. I hope you guys enjoy it. PLEASE send me feedback, questions and asks are always appreciated. Love you all!

“What if the real story was completely different? What if it was Persephone in control and not Hades at all? What if she was bored of the flowers, discontent with her situation and wanted to make more of her life than the grass and trees could offer her?” 

-Nikita Gill

24 years ago

Demetra shook as the tears rolled down her face. Her fingers flexing on the steering wheel as she watched Zeke kiss Hellen again. Every look of fondness, every touch, was another stab to her broken heart. 

She watched them enter their home, as the door shut all the promises he had made to her falling down all around her, she placed a hand on her swelling belly, rubbing in smooth and slow circles. She hated him. She hated men. 

“I promise you little one….You will never ever feel this pain.” she narrowed her eyes as she put her car in drive. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Present Day

“Find me in the garden there, meet my eyes with lovely stare, take my heart and take my love, a wonder of my life,” Stephanie sang quietly to herself as she brushed her long black hair. Today was an important day for her and she wanted to look her best, it was the day her mother would be bringing her into the family business and teaching her how to run it. She gazed at her face in the ornate gold mirror on her vanity, studying her features, trying to gauge if she looked like a mature woman or rather a scared little girl. 

She felt like a scared little girl.

The family business was ruthless, cutthroat. And she had never been one for cruelty, she had a kind soul as her mother would say. But a kind soul could weaken the Kingdom they built, and as a woman, this high up, anyone was looking for an excuse to snatch the Kingdom keys from them. 

Stephanie had never been told exactly what it was her mother did, but she knew people feared her. Overhearing phone conversations and hiding under the table at dinner parties, she heard the way people spoke to her and the way she spoke to them. She knew what her mother did was dangerous and she knew it was a big responsibility for her, to make sure she held the Kingdom up with as much grace and cutthroat as her mother did. 

She just wasn’t sure she had it in her.

“Never trust men. Men are cruel, evil. Once they get what they want from you, they toss you aside.” her mother brushed her fingers along Stephanie’s cheek fondly. “That’s why I have to keep you hidden away. To keep you safe.”

Her mother’s words rang in her mind.

She never knew her father. Her mother never spoke of him. The only thing she knew was that he headed an organization that worked in conjunction with theirs. She didn’t know if he knew of her existence or if he and her mother ever worked directly together. Any attempts to ask about him were shut down swiftly and harshly. 

“Stephanie?” her mother’s voice rang through the door, accompanied by a light knock. Stephanie stood, smoothing down her pink and yellow sundress as Demetra opened the door. “Oh look at you.” she smiled wide, making Stephanie feel proud, Demetra locked her arm through her daughter’s, pulling her out of the room. “Are you excited today?” 

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to go out and see what you do.” Demetra was an overprotective mother. When Zeke, Stephanie’s father, went back to his wife and abandoned them, she vowed her daughter would never experience the hurt and rejection she had faced. And so, Stephanie had been homeschooled, had limited access to the outside world and people. Her friends were her books and her films. She had been hidden away. 

A guard stood outside the front door, and one stood next to a white buick with the backdoor open. Stephanie held her mother’s hand as they walked to the car. 

“Hi!” Stephanie said pleasantly, the guard only nodded, shutting the door after Demetra climbed in beside her daughter. 

“The Warehouse please.” she said to the driver. The man started the car and Stephanie looked outside with fascination. 

“I’ve never left the property before.” she said absentmindedly, Demetra only smiled, extending her hand to her daughter. 

“I know you’ve waited years for this.”

-*-*-*-

“What do you mean you can’t find him Niall? That’s your job.” Harry turned away from the boxer practicing, he was going to ring necks if someone didn’t find Hayden, and they better find him fast. 

“Look all I know is that Amelia said he was going to Demetra to drop some product off and then he’s going to Zeke. I can text Zeke-”

“No,” Harry interrupted, grabbing his coat, Alan was a winner, he would be the one to bet on in the fight so he wasn’t worried. Business before pleasure. “I’ll go to Demetra’s Warehouse, maybe catch him outside.” he ended the call after Niall said good bye. 

Harry had been apart of the Olympi Gang since he came to America. It felt like years ago he’d arrived with dreams of being a musician, but rejection after rejection left him heartbroken and destitute. That’s when he’d met Louis, another Brit from Doncaster,a sassy motherfucker who had helped him learn how to navigate the streets and do what needed to be done to survive. His initiation had been one hell of a beating, but he got that OG tattoo the very next day, busted eye lid, cracked ribs and all. The pain had been worth it. He’d moved up quickly, hustling with his good looks and charm. Zeke had said he was born for this when he finally made him one of the ‘brothers’. He was the youngest-by years. But he had  sharp tongue and a wisdom of the streets that couldn’t be matched. He couldn’t even remember why he really came here in the first place. 

But only sometimes.

Demetra’s territory was on the other side of the city. Rural area. The last place you’d expect major operations like theirs to go down. But she had a green thumb, and worked her magic in gardens, growing vegetables and fruits, grains, flowers, she single handedly fed the city with her crops, having bought out all the farming land. It was the perfect cover. 

-*-*-*-

The car pulled into the warehouse parking lot. ‘Demeter Organics’ was painted in bright red above the warehouse doors, trucks were being loaded, people were walking about here and there. Stephanie was excited and amazed, she had never seen so many people in her life. 

“Come on sweetheart,” Demetra said, touching her daughter’s arm lightly as the car door was opened. Stephanie followed her mother out, taking her hand once again as Demetra led the way into the warehouse. 

Stephanie was amazed. It was huge, large fluorescent lights hanging overhead, people standing at tables or on forklifts, lifting and loading boxes, shelves stacked high with an assortment of things. As Stephanie looked around she could see many of the people were manufacturing weapons. Demetra cleared her throat, grabbing her daughter’s attention. 

“I know this must all be overwhelming for you,” she said, walking Stephanie down between the isles of workers. No one dared look up, everyone continuing to work hard as they walked by. “I want you to know I’m not a bad person. When your father and I started this years ago...This,” she waved at the workers around them. “Is what we had to do to survive. To thrive….All of it for you.” She smiled at her daughter. “But as the years past I was able to step out on my own. To create something of great value to this city and the world.” The stopped outside another door. Demetra turned to Stephanie, taking her daughter’s hands in hers. “Are you ready?” she asked. Stephanie’s hard was pounding. 

“Im ready mom.” a guard opened the door behind them. It creaked and groaned as it moved, the warm summer breeze hitting Stephanie’s face, as sunlight shone in. 

“Welcome to the garden Stephie,” her mother pulled her outside. 

Two large greenhouses stood side by side. Men in white suits with netted hats, tended to bees just to the left of them and beyond that was fields of vegetation. Tractors pulled and people picked fresh food and flowers, working at benches to clean and package the fruit. The smell in the air, the heavy scent of flower perfumes invaded her senses. She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. 

“It’s beautiful.” she whispered in awe. Demetra wrapped an arm around her, kissing the side of her head. 

“I know I’ve been difficult. But everything I’ve done was to protect you.” She let go of her. “But now I think you’re old enough. All this,” she waved a hand at the beauty around her. “It’s yours. The workers work for you. Everything but the business deals and contracts you are in control of.” She looked around in wonder. 

“Thank you momma.” she hugged her mother tightly, burying her face in her shoulder.

“Hello Ms. Demetra.” Stephanie turned her head to see an older woman with thinning white hair and wrinkles walked up to them. She shook Demetra’s hand, before turning her grey eyes to Stephanie. “You must be Stephanie. Pretty as a lily you are,” her hand felt rough and hard, she was a woman used to hard laboring.

“Hello,” Stephanie chirped with a grin. Demetra watched her daughter with fondness. 

“This is Annabeth. She’ll be working directly under you. Whenever you have a question or need something go to her.” Stephanie nodded, glancing behind her mother to see a security guard approaching. 

“Ms. Demetra, Hayden is here to see you.” Demetra let go of her daughter. 

“Alright. Set him in my office,” she touched Stephanie’s cheek gently. “Are you going to be alright?” Stephanie nodded, stepping back away from her mother. 

“I’ll be fine. I want to explore the garden if that’s alright?” Demetra chuckled.

“Of course.I’ll find you when we’re done.”

-*-*-*-

Harry pulled up at the back of the Warehouse. Whenever he came to visit Demetra, he always went through the garden entrance. Something about it felt so comforting and familiar. Maybe it had to do with his mom, he wasn’t sure, but Demetra could be a handful and he needed the walk to relax. 

Soft giggling met his ears when he shut the car door. It was a beautiful sound, like a melody.  he looked over into the sunflowers, blooming proudly and felt himself take in a sharp breath. 

The girl was like a vision. He watched as she walked through the flowers, touching them gently, with reverence, her long dark curls flowing behind her. She was barefoot, in a pink and yellow dress, it was the simplest thing, and it made his heart pound. Never had he felt that way before. 

He didn’t realize he had approached her until she gasped, startled by his appearance. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, she had beautiful dark eyes and full pouty lips that were turned down as she frowned at him. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

She smiled, “It’s alright.” he liked that it met her eyes, he watched her visibly relax. “Do you work here? In the garden?” he shook his head. 

“No. Actually I’m here to see Demetra.” he stepped closer, unable to keep much distance from her. There was something warm and safe about her. He wanted to be around her and feel like this always. 

“She’s talking with Hayden right now.” So he is here. That was good. Harry could see the freckles beneath her eyes, that crossed the bridge of her nose. His hand twitched, he wanted to touch her, caress her face, play with her hair. Was this what love at first sight was? He hoped so. He smiled down at her. It was small and private. Just for her. 

"What is your name?" He asked, reaching up to brush his fingers against her rosy cheek. He couldn't help it, he hadn't meant to. But there was something about her that made him weak. Weak in the knees. He would do whatever she asked, no request was to great.

"Stephanie. I'm Demetra's daughter."

"Oh?" He was surprised, "I didn't know she had a daughter." The girl blushed, looking away from him and down at her feet. She was good. So sweet.

"She kept me hidden very well." There was slight pause, he studied her features, big brown doe eyes, looking anywhere but at him, soft pink, pillowy lips, long lashes, she had the cutest little nose, golden brown skin. She was soft. He wanted nothing more than to take her home with him.

"Look at me little one." He put his finger under her chin, tilting her face to look up at him. Their eyes met once more and he watched as her body visibly relaxed at his touch. She was astounding. "You are....a masterpiece." He leaned down, nose brushing against hers. He could hear her heart pounding in her chest-

"Steph!" Harry pulled back sharply as she whipped her head around. Hayden was making his way towards them, a suspicious look on his face.

"Hayden," Stephanie's cheeks were full on red with embarrassment now, hands clasped behind her back. Hayden put a protective arm around her shoulder.

"Your mother asked me to take you to Hollyn. We've been looking for you." He turned his eyes to Harry, stood expressionless. "Harry."

"Hayden....please come see me after you're done here with Demetra. I have some packages for you." His expression changed when he looked back as Stephanie, it softened. "It was lovely to meet you my dear." She smiled. It was breath taking.

"Likewise Mr. Styles." Hayden steered her away, back into the large warehouse, once out of earshot, he gripped her arm.

"You listen to me Stephie. You stay away from him. Understand?"

"But he was so nice. He was kind. Why?"

"Just remember your mother's teachings. And stay away from that man."

Harry called Zeke as soon as he got into his car.

"What?" Zeke's tone was annoyed, Harry heard the whimpering of some poor fool in the background.

"Did you know Demetra had a daughter?" He asked, he heard the sound of bones cracking and a scream of agony.

"Yes. She's my daughter. What of it?" Harry felt his blood run cold. It had taken him years as an affiliate to gain the position he had now, as one of the kingpins of this organization, but he still worked under Zeke. He would have to be careful.

"Nothing I just....I was surprised is all." He finally said, chewing his bottom lip nervously.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Zeke asked, a fondness Harry had never heard in his tone before.

"Yeah. She really is."

"Harry? Do you like where you are? Your position in my family?"

"Yes. I'm grateful for it. I worked hard you know that."

"I do." Zeke hummed. "So let me give you some advice. You want to last long with us, you stay away from my daughter."

-*-*-*-

The ride to Hollyn’s house was quiet.” Stephanie thought about what Hayden had said. He didn’t press the issue and when they said good bye to her mother he didn’t mention their encounter with Harry Styles. So she kept silent, hand on her chin, gazing out the window and soaking in the new sights all around her. 

Hollyn lived in a little cottage in a neat suburban area. There was a lake and forest behind her house. When Stephanie was little she would bring trinkets and spells for her that she made herself. And pictures of the cottage so she could picture it in her mind. She was a self proclaimed witch and healer but was also Stephanie’s God mother and dearest friend. 

“We’re here.” Hayden said. He pulled up beside the cottage. It was cobblestoned, ivy climbing high up the side, the terrace wrapped in blood red roses, shrubs covered the front yard, a willow tree hanging over the roof. And fairy lights, leading all the way up to the house. 

“Wow.” Stephanie whispered, going to unbuckle her seatbelt. 

“Stephi.” Hayden put his hand over hers, she looked up into his hazel eyes. “You know...I’ve known you for years...what I said about Harry...I just want to keep you safe.” Stephanie leaned forward, kissing his cheek lightly. 

“I know Hayden. My mom couldn’t have gotten on without you. I love you too.” With that she hopped out of the car, bounding up the steps to her Godmother’s house.

-*-*-*-

“Did you know Demetra had a daughter?” Harry asked Niall. They sat in his living room, watching football, Niall shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. 

“I mean, doesn’t everyone in this bloody gang have kids?” Harry rolled his eyes. 

“I’m serious.” He couldn’t get her out of his head. “Nobody even knew. How fucking crazy is that? She kept her hidden.”

“Not to be an ass but why do you care so much?”

“I don’t.” Harry defended, he could feel himself blushing, Niall giving him a knowing smile. He licked his lips. “She’s Zeke’s daughter.” Niall raised his eyebrows at that. 

“My advice as your friend then...stay the hell away from her H. That can and will only bring trouble.”

“I’m not doing anything.” Harry snorted. “I just wondered if you knew.” They watched the rest of the game quietly, only commenting on it here and there. When it was over Niall stood up to leave. 

“You doin’ the ball thing tonight?” Harry rolled his eyes. Of course he was. He was one of the Big Three. Any major event he would be in attendance. “You bringing Marlene with you?” Marlene. The girl he fucked on the regular. Not his girlfriend, but familiar enough she usually went with him to events like the Ball.

“Of course.” Harry said. Niall gave him a cheeky grin. 

“Just checking.” 

Alone with himself Harry’s thoughts went back to Stephanie. The way his stomach flipped when he pictured her face made his hands twitch. Why did he have to want the one person he could never have.

-*-*-*-

 “Welcome home Stephi.” Hollyn said, embracing her Goddaughter gently. Stephanie held onto her, breathing in the familiar smells of Frankincense and lavender. She felt like she was home. 

Hollyn was older, around Demetra’s age. Her hair was jet black, tight curls that ran down her between her shoulder blades, and was always frizzy. Never one for makeup, her skin was smooth and soft, albeit there were some crows feet around her brown eyes. She always wore tank tops and long flowing skirts, gems dangled off her body. She was the most magical person Stephanie knew. 

The house smelled of patchouli and sage. Plants grew and hung all over the place. Stephanie felt an odd calmness fall over her as Hollyn led her to the living room. She took the Laz-boy, while Hollyn sat on the couch. 

“So how are you? Today was your first day off the grounds.” Hollyn smiled. She loved Demetra dearly, but felt her helicopter parenting style was harmful. It broke her heart to never be able to take Stephi anywhere. A real life Rapunzel, except her mother wasn’t evil, just afraid.

“It was so exciting!” Stephanie gushed, her face lighting up. She talked about the garden and her mother believing she could do a good job managing it and how she couldn’t wait to get started. 

“It’s all so new I just...I want her to be proud.” Hollyn smiled.

“I’m glad Stephi. Truly.” 

“Hollyn?” Stephanie asked nervously. “Do you know who Harry Styles is?” she watched Hollyn stiffen, she sighed, setting her cup of tea down. 

“I do….You met him today?” Stephanie nodded. “You like him don’t you?”

“N...No! Of course not!” Hollyn chuckled, amused at how red her Goddaughter’s face went. 

“I would never tell you what to do. You’re a woman now. You make your choices but,” Hollyn lifted a finger, a small smile on her lips. “I caution you my dear. Just be careful. I’ve heard things. Though I’ve never met him, so who’s to say they’re true. I just ask you to use your head as well as your heart.” 

“You make it sound like we’re dating.” Stephanie said playfully. Hollyn shrugged. 

“Call it an old woman’s intuition.” she laughed. “Now,” she stood up, walking around to extend her hand to Stephanie. “Did your mother tell you why I wanted you here?” she shook her head. “The Summer ball is tonight. And you, my darling, are going.” Hollyn flinched as Stephanie let out a squeal, throwing herself at her Godmother. 

“How many strings did you have to pull?!” Hollyn nuzzled Stephanie’s nose affectionately. 

“A true witch never tells.”

-*-*-*-

Harry checked himself over in the mirror. A lavender colored suit with black velvet flower designs. He liked this one a lot. He was adjusting his pants when a soft knock on the door let him know his date had arrived. 

Marlene was a lower level dealer, but she was cute and they had met at a party about a year or so back. She was blonde, with green eyes and beautiful red lips. Some likened her to Marilyn Monroe. Harry didn’t really care, she was a good fuck. 

“Hey.” Marlene leaned up to kiss him, sighing when he cupped her cheek and kissed her back, but he wasn’t into it. Stephanie’s face flashed in his mind and he wondered what it would be like if he had kissed her. How soft would her lips be?

“Hello love,” Harry said, pulling back to take a look at her. Red bodycon dress, with matching pumps and a clutch, didn’t really match him, but they weren’t a thing so that didn’t matter. 

“You ready to go?” she asked. “The driver is waiting downstairs. Harry nodded, locking his apartment behind him. 

The balls were usually held at Zeke and Hellen’s home. A mansion on the outskirts of town in a gated community. Harry could have been their neighbor. But he liked his little loft apartment and the noise the city made at night.It was his lullaby. 

The house was already bustling with activity, lights shining in the driveway as couples chatted, and butlers served horderves. The gang would have these parties once every season, to bring the ‘family’ all together and to discuss how the business was running,the profit turns and fatalities. 

Hollyn squeezed Stephanie’s hand as their car pulled up outside of Zeke and Hellen’s house. 

“You look beautiful.” Hollyn complimented her. Stephanie took a shaky breath.

“I’m nervous.” she confessed. Hollyn chuckled, brushing hair back out of her Goddaughter’s face. 

“Don’t be. You’ve got this.”

The Ball was in full swing. Harry stood with Marlene on his hip, talking politely with Zayn and his girlfriend. A few more minutes of chatter and maybe he could convince Marlene it was time for them to head back to his place. He had some big shipments coming up and exhaustion wouldn’t be an excuse if he fucked things up. 

“Oh my God.” Gigi gasped, she was pointing at someone behind the group. “Who’s that?” when Harry turned, he had to force his jaw not to drop to the floor. 

It was Stephanie, Demetra’s daughter, coming down the staircase with Hollyn, arm in arm. She wore a simple white dress with spaghetti straps and a slit that went just above the knee on the left side. It looked soft, like it was made of silk, white sandals on her feet, her toes and fingers painted a baby pink. Her hair was pulled into a simple messy, but classy bun and the only makeup he could see on her face was the ruby red lip stain on her lips.

Stephanie’s heart was pounding as she ascended the stairs with her Godmother. She held onto Hollyn tightly, terrified she would fall over. She could feel the eyes on her and when she did look up she saw a pair of familiar green eyes staring back at her, her heart fluttered and her lips parted in a silent gasp. Harry looked as handsome as he had in trousers, a black t shirt and sunglasses. She couldn’t help but smile at him and give him a little wave. And her stomach flipped when he gave her the tiniest smile back and winked.

[sparklingichigo]

Human World Adventures

Part 6

After lunch, Haruka gives them an idea of playing Uno which the younger siblings and Solomon agree without any hesitation. The older brothers (e.g Lucifer) are confused since they never played such games and Uno if Lucifer remembers correctly means "one" in Spanish. So...what game is this "one" specifically? Of course, this avatar of pride didn't ask and just watch from a distance as his brothers play along with the two girls.

Haruka: Why don't you play with us too, Lucifer?

Lucifer: No thank you, I'm too old for such games.

Haruka: Oh, come on! it's a fun game! You should join us!

Lucifer: No thank you^^ Perhaps the next round?

Haruka: Next round it is.

Belphie: I'm definitely defeating you two! >:D

Asmo: I'm still surprised Belphie is not asleep during this game...

Solomon: Same...

Mammon: Me three-

Satan: You can win if you have a strategy.

Belphie: Well, let's start, shall we?

Ichigo: We shall^^ [shuffling the cards and start to distribute them]

With that, they all start playing. Belphie is surprisingly determined today, he's obviously trying his best to at least defeat one of the humans.

Belphie: And I'll add +2 to that!

Ichigo: Oh? Bullying Monsolo I see. Let's go +4!

Satan: Which color?

Ichigo: [checks her cards] rED!

Satan:...

Ichigo: What? You got no reds? Or more +4?

Satan: Jokes on you, I do! Switching to green!

Asmo: You're so mean! >:( Fine! [gets the 4 extra cards]

Solomon: Pfft, your attempts of making me lose has gone out the window~

Belphie: Shut it! Beel, I believe in you! Please defeat that sus of a sorcerer, my twin~;-;

Beel: Ah, a green one. I have one! [puts in +2]

Solomon: What?!

Belphie: Thank you so much, Beel!

Solomon: ....sht

Satan: What's wrong, Solomon? Cat got your card?

Solomon: tsk. [gets two more cards]

As they were playing, Simeon passes by to watch them. Yes, unfortunately, this angel doesn't join them. Luke is in there though playing with them.

Simeon: How did it go?

Haruka: Overall...we're winning. Currently bullying Solomon.

Luke: Look, Simeon! I only have 4 cards!

Simeon: Oh that's great! You're close to victory!

Levi: [casually shows his two cards]

Simeon: Ah, no surprise^^

Mammon: How?!?! [sobs in 12 cards]

Satan: That's clearly because you're an idiot.

Ichigo: Belphie is improving his game skills though^^ Great job!

Belphie: Yeah to defeat one of you >:(

Levi: Since when are you this competitive?

Belphie: Since I keep on losing to those two >:((

Satan: Perhaps might wanna say goodbye to such victory

Ichigo: ...woops^^ [shows 1 card]

Mammon: Again, HOW?!

Haruka: She's the master of this game, I'm not even surprised [sigh in 5 cards]

Solomon: can we just go back to the game? [currently holding around 9 cards]

Asmo: Alright back to the game. Haruka, your turn.

Haruka: Hmm, it's green and a +2 huh? I have just the solution! [puts another +2 but in red]

Levi: Ha! UNO! [yeets his +2 but in yellow]

Mammon: Yes!!! [puts in lots of +2]

Luke: That's a lot!

Mammon: Sucks to be ya, Fido.

Luke: Shut it! [throws in a +4]

Belphie: Are you guys going against me now?!

Luke: no??;-; I'm just trying to save myself! Simeon!! Help me!!

Belphie: Just kidding, kid. Which color?

Luke: Uh... [checks his cards] Red?

Belphie: Great! [throws in a red card but he still needs to get that much card wow poor Belphie]

Ichigo: Uno game~!

Belphie: You! [tackles Ichigo while the others laugh]

Ichigo: Hey, hey! Why are you so worked up?! [laughing because Belphie is attacking her with tickles]

Belphie: Because you keep on winning!

Satan: [sigh] There's still Haruka and Solomon. You obviously can't defeat the master of Uno, Belphegor.

Beel: Come on, Belphie. There's still hope!

Belphie: There's still hope huh? Well, it's your turn, Satan.

Satan: Don't mind me^^ [puts in the same card but in yellow]

Asmo: Do you have a live problem with me?!

Satan: Clearly not. That's the only card I have that matches.

Asmo: [huffs but gets another card]

Beel: Ah? A yellow? I have the all-color one, is that okay?

Ichigo: Yes! Yeet it out!

As soon as Beel does that, everyone anticipates the color. Obviously, Belphie hopes it's the color that Solomon doesn't have so he can actually win against that sus of a sorcerer!

Beel: I'll have green^^

Solomon: Tf-

Everyone instantly laughs. Yeah, their target is obviously to give Solomon as many cards as possible but oh well.

Solomon: Man, you must have beef with me don't you-

Beel: Oh of course not^^ Just your cooking skills and that one thing [smiling but this scared Solomon]

Solomon: Right... [getting one card]

Haruka: Yas! Beel, thank you so much! [throws in three-card that matches]

Belphie:...

Ichigo: You can still defeat Solomon, Belphie^^

Belphie: True...he has like 9 cards or so...

Levi: Hmmm blue.... jokes on you! I have one! [throws in a block blue card] also Uno!

Mammon: U- Dang it! Why ya gotta block me like that?!

Levi: Because you deserve it^^

Levi: Well, Luke, give us your best shot!

Luke: I will! Take this! [throws in one reverse card but in blue]

Mammon: Holy sht, Fido! Thank you! [lol he throws in another reverse card but in red]

Luke: [whispering to Ichigo who's now beside him] I have lots of reverse cards...should I put it in?

Ichigo: [nods]

Luke: [puts in another reverse card but in yellow]

Mammon: Why?!

Luke: That's all I have!

Mammon: Geez, sorry to anyone who sits me. [puts in block but in yellow]

Levi: Dude, fck you!

Asmo: pfft at least you're not like him adding more and more cards to my pile.

Satan: It's called playing with a strategy^^

Asmo: Strategic playing my ass!

Haruka: Ah a block card^^ I have one too and U-

Solomon: Uno! Jokes on you! You gotta pick up two cards~

Haruka: [rolls her eyes and gets two more cards] You're blocked though.

Solomon: And you have more cards^^

Beel: Hmm a block card... Asmo, I'm sorry:")

Asmo: Beel no-

Too late bestie, he puts in that block card. There there, Asmo...

Asmo: What even have I done to you, little brother?! [dramatic whining]

Beel: :( I'm sorry that's all that matches-

Satan: Uno game. [puts a normal card but in the same color as that block card]

Haruka: How?!

Ichigo: Wow, guess his strategic playing does work.

Satan: Perhaps next round, just the two of us?

Ichigo: You're on, raging ball of chaos.

Solomon: not again- can we just proceed?! Yo Belphie! Your turn!

Belphie: Ah, a normal card. Alright then^^ [switches the card color]

Luke: Why?!?!

Belphie: Because I want to, kid :)

Luke: [grumbles but gets the card because he has none of that color or number]

Mammon: Ah yes, time to reduce my card amount! [throws in around 5 cards with the same content in it]

Levi: All that to go back to Yellow?!

Mammon: Does it matter?!

Levi: Of course you idiot! I got none of that! Fck you!

Mammon: Pfft, bye-bye to your victory, weeb~

The other sighs at the sight. This is gonna be a long game. Lucifer and Michael are both now interested though. This seems to be a fun game but can be pride-crushing as well.

Michael: That seems fun

Lucifer: Indeed. Willing to join for the next round?

Michael: [shrugs]

Rosaria: It does seem fun!

Michael: Hon-

Rosaria: Hm? I mean look at them! They're having fun and I think we should too ^^

Michael: I think it'd take a long time for them to actually finish considering how competitive they are.

Rosaria: That's true [laughs slightly] it's so refreshing to watch it though^^

Suddenly they all hear a rumble outside. Turns out today is raining, lucky for them that they're not going anywhere and are just staying in.

Beel: Oh? It's raining.

Belphie: It is. Quite a strong thunder as well

Haruka: Probably just Thor passing by.

Asmo: Or Zeus, finding another target to put his lust on~

Simeon: Asmo, I'm this close to drench you in holy water-

Asmo: Hey! I'm the avatar of lust! These kinds of things are obviously my thing!

Simeon: Sure it is, but Luke is literally over there!

Luke obviously has 0 idea what Asmo is talking about nor is he even listening so Luke isn't that bothered.

Haruka: Uh...everyone! Back to the game!

Finally, after a few minutes, Levi came out as the second runner up causing another groan of frustration coming from Belphie. Of course, he can still defeat Haruka and Solomon but now defeating Haruka would be difficult since she has 3 cards but defeating Solomon... now that's one thing he's after!

Beel: Go Belphie! Defeat him!!

Solomon: Babe, why aren't you rooting for me?!

Asmo: I'm obviously trying to survive myself!

Mammon: Can't yall just have mercy on me?!

Asmo, Solomon, and Belphie: No!

Levi: When Ichigo said Uno is fun to watch, she is 1000% correct!

Haruka: Complete agreement, 1000%

They all watch the bottom four play until Belphie appears to be a winner against all four of them.

Belphie: Finally! I defeated one human! [laughs evily]

Mammon: Can't you at least have mercy on me?! I'm your older brother!

Belphie: no^^

Asmo: Definitely a no^^

With that, Mammon lost the game. Asmo and Solomon of course won against him but still lost to the others nonetheless.

Asmo: Well that was fun^^

Solomon: It is.

Mammon: [sobs in I lost] Man why are you all so competitive-

Satan: It's a game. Losing and winning is normal^^

Ichigo: As he said ^^

So, the whole day is spent hanging out in Lucifer's mansion. Playing here and there or just talking. Now, this comes to Ichigo and Satan. Ichigo needs to get things straight with this rage of a demon. She was of course relief that there's no tension between Satan and Beel anymore but she needs to put him in place so here they are in the library. Of course, Ichigo told Beel, luckily Beel let her so here she is in the library talking to Satan.

Ichigo: We can still be friends. I just don't feel that way about you.

Satan: Yeah, I know.

Ichigo: Oh come on, you're turning cold again. Just focus on healing yourself okay? [pats his shoulder] I'm sure if you healed completely everything will turn normal.

Satan: I suppose...

Ichigo: and stop being an ice prince towards Haruka. I know she left you for Simeon and all, but you have 0 feelings for her right?

Satan: Well romantically no. But it still grills my pride seeing her with someone else furthermore an angel when I'm clearly trying my best to be better.

Ichigo: I know.... you're actually a good demon, Satan. I'm sure you'll find your love soon. But for now please heal yourself. I don't want you to have more drama in your life okay?^^

Satan: Then...we're friends?

Ichigo: We are^^ [handshakes with Satan]

Satan: You're still helping me with those pranks right?

Ichigo: Of course! What kind of friend am I if I'm not helping you?!

Satan: Yeah, let's start working on it! >:D

Ichigo: >:D mwahahahaha-

Satan: I've taught you well^^ [pats her head]

Ichigo: Perhaps I'm slowly turning into a gremlin, like you^^

Satan: Hey! :(

The next day, everything returns to normal. Satan surprisingly turned friendly in just one night. Everyone is surprised by this, especially Simeon. He doesn't mean to think of the worse because he's not supposed to but due to recent events.... he starts to think so about him.

Haruka: Are you sure it's not because he has bad intentions?

Simeon: I hope that's not the case. I'm sure Ichigo has talk things out to him.

Haruka: ...well true

Michael: Now, now^^ I'm sure he's trying his best to change. Having negative thoughts on this would just make his effort useless right?

Simeon: That's true.... [sees Satan just having fun creating more pranks with Belphie]

Haruka: I'll try talking to him....just trying

Simeon: Be careful!

Haruka: Of course^^

So Haruka walks towards him as Belphie and Satan are practicing another hex to prank Lucifer.

Haruka: Hey, Satan, Belphie what are you two doing?

Satan: Just practicing another hex to prank Lucifer. Is there something you need? ^^

Haruka: Oh just curious. You two need to tone it down with the pranks though, we don't want more trouble don't we?

Belphie: it's just Lucifer. What's the worse that could happen?

Haruka: ...hangged by the chandelier....?

Belphie: I can sleep upside down, that won't bother me much.

Haruka: Oh well.... :]

After saying that, Haruka returns to Simeon to tell him what happened. Simeon is of course glad that Satan is changing for the better good or at least good in demon standard. Let's hope this lasts and there won't be any romantic problems.

[onelostgirl]

14. Just Me

Miya Atsumu x (f) smau

Y/N’s eyes shot back and forth like a pinball as she watched Cat talk to Osamu like they had been friends forever. She knew that Cat had introduced herself to him a few weeks back right around the time they had eaten at his restaurant with Tooru but she hadn’t expected them to be this chummy.

“It’s a bit weird ain’t it?” She heard a voice say as she looked over to the blonde man beside her.

They had just finished prepping the photo booth and way ahead of schedule thanks to the surprising entrance of the Miya twins, more than 5 hours earlier than their shift to be exact.

“Well I guess not considering how friendly Cat is, she seemed to get along with you too earlier.” Y/N replied as Atsumu glanced over to her shooting his signature smirk that Y/N had to mentally fight reacting to.

“Guess the ladies have a hard time fightin’ their inner desires when it comes ta me.”

Y/N scoffed then looked at the blonde setter, “Oh you were serious.”

“Yeh yeh play as hard as ya want ya know I’m right.” He said waving his hand in a casual gesture as Y/N laughed at him earning her a joking glare from the setter.

“So how’s my choco goin’?” He asked as Y/N head shot up, she had actually planned to get them when she went back home to change before the event.

“Don’t worry I bought you the cheapest but tastiest one.”

“Ay, that ain’t the deal.”

“Why would it matter anyway, you’re probably not even going to recognize mine anyway.” Y/N stated trying to brush off the feeling of annoyance at his desire for sweets when he would be knee deep in the by the end of the night.

“I’d know if it was from ya.”

Y/N glances slowly up to Atsumu who had an unexpectedly serious expression. They stated at eachother for what felt like forever though they didn’t really know what was happening between those unspoken moments but something was definitely happening.

“Hey Atsumu is it true that Osamu kicked your butt at field day every year in high school?”

Cat’s voice broke through whatever was happening as Y/N looked away quickly.

“Samu why ya lyin’ ya know I owned ya!” Atsumu shouted back making his way to the pair cleaning up a ways from them.

That just left Y/N to think about what had just happened and that those chocolate eyes she stared into was something deeper than she was ready to take on.

-

“So is your brother single?” Cat threw out as Osamu was getting ready for his photo shoot shift.

He didn’t know that agreeing to this stupid thing for Tsumu would have brought him to the exact person he was thinking of. He was extremely surprised that the same girl he met knew his brother’s team manager.

He had yet to get her number as Atsumu was teasing him about since they got there and he recognized her. Introducing them went smoothly with a narrow escape of awkwardness thanks to his jamming an elbow into Atsumu’s ribs before he could say the milf comment he was biting back.

But what was with this sudden interest with his brother - she couldn’t be into him right?

“Don’t you think they make a cute couple?” Cat stared as Osamu’s thoughts were interrupted as he looked in the direction that she was talking about.

His eyes caught the scene that she was referring to as Atsumu said something that earned him a scolding smack over the head by Y/N. She looked like she was doing her best to be serious but at one word she laughed along with the blonde beside her.

He had to admit he hadn’t seen his brother genuinely enjoying himself off the court anyway. Not since everything that happened with Hayami.

He assumed the same could be said about Y/N because Cat seemed extremely interested in how they were interacting.

“Guessin’ she ain’t always like that.” He stated as Cat looked over to him, almost forgetting how attractive the man beside her was. But how she hadn’t felt that attraction to the twin beside her best friend.

“Y/N’s a lot of things and definitely someone who could benefit from taking it easy every now and then.” She responded as the dark haired twin smirked at her.

“That prob’ly makes two of ya.”

She looked at Osamu with a curious expression, “What do you mean?”

“Well ya know cuz’ yer a mom yerself?” He replied in a whisper that Cat could barely hear him.

“I’m a what?”

“...a mom.” He said again not sure if that was the best way to bring it up.

He really didn’t know how to address it but he felt that she should know he was interested in getting to know her regardless of the situation.

Osamu didn’t look at her just yet not sure what face she would make, maybe she would be offended or insulted he brought it up without her initiating that serious of a conversation.

“I’m a mom? Why in the world would you...” she replied as it dawned on her then that he had first saw her with Yuto. A young kid who she loved very dearly but was also not hers.

“But the kid..” Osamu began but was stopped by Cat’s hand moving up gesturing him to stop.

“He’s a relative of a very close friend of mine.” She explained but stopped there knowing it wasn’t her place to say who exactly he was especially when it was obvious that Y/N hadn’t mentioned anything to Atsumu.

“So yer not a mom then.”

“Not biologically, I have tons of kids though, I work at a daycare.”

“Yer a teacha?”

“Ding ding, looks like you’re not completely brainless then.”

Osamu shook his head how could he assume something like that and actually come out looking like he had the same intelligence as his brother.

“Well then how would ya feel ‘bout catchin’ a bite ta eat after all this?” He threw out not wanting to hold back any longer.

Cat looked up at him with a coy smile, “It’s about damn time you asked.”

-

-

By the time Y/N saw him he was surrounded by a hoard of girls. Despite this seeming like Atsumu’s natural habitat, anyone could tell he was politely trying to tell them to fck off.

She assumed this was from the constant bad reputation and hate he gained whenever he was -well his true self out in public. Many people enjoyed his athleticism and definitely his looks, his nasty personality though, wasn’t a real crowd pleaser.

“Listen ladies, thanks fer the goodies but I gotta go, gettin’ back ta the booth.” Y/N heard him say as he quickly ducked out of the crowd and made a quick exit choosing a banner displaying an elderly couple celebrating 50 years of marriage.

From where she was standing, he looked really ridiculous and strangely cute attempting to hide until she arrived.

As confident as he was on the court it was refreshing to know he had moments like this too.

“You going to hide here all night or?” Y/N stated as she watched Atsumu’s shoulders jump up high and he quickly turned back to her.

“Don’t do that-ya scared the sht outta me.”

Y/N bit back a laugh seeing Atsumu’s look of displeasure complete with arms folded together in a pouting motion.

“Let’s just get something to eat before you start getting more grumpy.”

“If ya knew I’d be grumpy why’d ya make me wait so long.”

“Let’s go princess.” Y/N teased as Atsumu followed her his dragging feet showing his displeasure with her comment.

-

“It can’t have been that bad!”

After getting something to eat, they had somehow spent sometime talking and were now discussing horrible Valentine stories. Atsumu had just finished telling her of when a girl who was crazy for Osamu had slapped him silly when she mistook him for his twin and wasn’t happy about him being on a date with another girl.

“Ya weren’t there Y/N, it was a nigh’mare, she was yellin’ at me even pulled the other chick’s hair. I would’ve laughed my ass off it wasn’t happenin’ ta me.” Atsumu added as Y/N began to laugh at the story and his over exaggerated gestures and expressions.

He really was a good story teller.

“I actually feel sorry for you-here you were trying to score one and something like that happened. Not sure if it’s rotten luck or bad karma.”

“Whaaa, I hav great karma!”

“Sure you do, especially for all those times you were beyond nasty about your serves.”

“That was high school.”

“You still do that!” Y/N teased as Atsumu turned to deny it but came up empty because she had a point.

“I ain’t that bad no more.”

“Haha, that sounds like something a kid would say.”

Atsumu turned to look at her, “Since ya think I’m actin’ like a kid, where’s mine?”

“You already have so many-why do you need this one too?”

“Because ya made it fer me.”

Y/N tried not to think of how his voice sounded when he said that but it was kind of difficult not to. She wanted to blame it on the fact that she hadn’t been on a date in years but maybe it was also because she was enjoying the attention Atsumu was giving to her.

Before spending time getting to know him, she just assumed he was a jerk but now she knew he was a jerk and so much more.

He made her laugh, like really laugh. Then there were times when his smile or even his stupid smirk or grin would tug lightly on her heartstrings. Or even the conversations that could be so random and average then suddenly deep and thoughtful.

So, she had made him chocolates, despite her better judgement, even when she was horrible at it and Yuto laughed at her attempts or spit out the really awful ones.

She pushed herself to make these chocolates because maybe she wanted to see wherever the heck this could go.

“I’ll wait all night if I gotta.” His statement rung through to her as Y/N looked up at him slightly glaring at him.

“If they don’t taste that good just- lie to me okay and say they were great.”

Y/N reached into her bag slowly pulling it out.

“I mean it, it’s probably really bad, and if it is don’t even eat them all, just throw it out.”

“Would ya just give ‘em here. Ya actin’ like I’m some nasty chef who’d spit it up on ya.”

Y/N reluctantly passed it to the blonde looking away trying to mask her embarrassment. Atsumu found this beyond amusing since she was acting like a real person and not just his manager or someone who’s job it was to care about him.

“Thank-” Atsumu began but a ringtone stopped him as he watched Y/N pull her phone out. He as about to say something when he saw her politely put up her hand gesturing for him to wait.

“Yes this is she...”

“...is everything okay?”

“...oh...no that’s fine, I’ll be right over.”

As quickly as the call came it ended as Y/N put her phone back into her bag. Atsumu was waiting for her to say something but from her distant eyes and silence he assumed it was personal.

“Er everythin’ alrifht Y/N?”

His question stayed in the air between them for longer than he expected it was like she hadn’t even heard him.

“Yo, Y/N ya good?” He asked again this time waving his hand in front of her face snapping her back to reality.

“Oh yeah, I just got to take care of something.”

Atsumu watched as she began walking rather quickly in the direction of their booth.

“Did somethin’ happen? Ya got to go somewhere?” He continued to ask as Y/N distracted responses began to unsettle his stomach for some reason.

“Yeah nothing so serious-just got to let everyone know I need to leave.”

“Oh well, did ya need a ride? I don’t mind takin’ ya.” Atsumu offered as Y/N stopped and looked up to him, her eyes somewhat guarded.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“...well maybe I wanna make sure yer good.” He replied as Y/N’s lips tightened as though she was thinking of what to say.

“I guess that would be nice.”

“Ya sure got a way with words.”

Y/N tried not to smile at his teasing tone but Atsumu caught it ever so slightly. She didn’t realize he too, had a small smile on his face.

-

-

Bonus: Cat and Y/N’s outfits for the day (taken at the MSBY Valentines Booth)

-

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Author’s note: Hi everyone! Sorry for the late upload had some trouble conveying this chapter but hope you enjoy it. Please stay tuned for the next update and continue to shower Love Loop with your beautiful support and love. Taglist is still open (:

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[sailormurkury]

History3: MODC review I guess?

Word Count: around 2,080

Warning: Potential Spoiler for POSE Season 2. I’m not sure if it’s been streaming globally yet, but I mention the death of a character.

I fell in love with the BL drama HIStory this past August. It was after coming across a video on twitter of two men embracing, kissing and both breaking down in tears on the floor of a lavish, minimalistic, bedroom. After a bit of digging in the replies, I learned the name of the show, History3: Trapped. One google later, I’m on VIKI and I find the entire first half-season which had just wrapped up two months prior. The rest of that month was spent binging it and the first 2 seasons (and The Untamed). This week the second half of the beloved drama’s third season which has been hailed the best BL drama of 2019, possibly all-time, ended with a thud on the 18th. Prior to this week it had a solid score of 9.5 on MyDramaLive where it now sits at 8.5. (Rating seems to be falling slightly every 2-3 days, now sits at 8.4.) This season’s love story focused on the story between Yu Xi Gu, an orphan, loner, and presumptive valedictorian of Zenren High and Xiang Hao Ting, the carefree Mr. popular of the school. The show also follows a side couple, HaoTing’s best friend Sun Bo Xiang and Xi Gu’s boss, Lu Zhi Gang. This season focused on the blossoming of these two couples’ relationships in such a way that most of us thought “Oh wow they’re going for full on happy go lucky in love” and while they met challenges like HaoTing’s homophobic parents and entrance exams they managed to fight for each other with their relationship getting stronger every time. That was until this week’s finale when we were served with a plate of Deadly Distant Finale with a side of Bury Your Gays and a glass Gay for You.

I initially thought that I was okay with the finale in a similar way to how I was with the finale of HIStory3: Trapped. That was bittersweet yet common sense. Shao Fei was a cop, Tang Yi a mob boss who shot an officer, he “had” to go to jail. Yet the more I thought about it I felt grieved, insulted rather by MODCs finale. So, like everyone else is doing on social media, I’m going to nitpick the hell out of it as part of my “healing process.” Also, while all of us are upset, unfortunately as in the summer, some fans are attacking the cast and crew. In the words of the master heart crusher, Shonda Rhimes, “Don’t tweet them your crazy,” or...whatever the weibo equivalent is. So, before the nitpicking, a caveat. My beef is with the lazy writing of episode 10, this entire cast was outstanding from Wayne and ChuanChih to the ZENREN homies to The Xiang Family just outstanding. Possibly the best History ensemble since H2:Crossing The Line. Thankfully, this season was not written the same writer of H3: Trapped that would have been way too much for me. (Although, word in the fandom is that MODCs screenwriter wasn’t fond of Trapped’s screenwriter, or rather her treatment for the finale? Alexa, Play Ironic by Alanis Morrisette.) Also in this review, I’m going to be using the VIKI episode count when referring to episodes so just 1-9. *wink*

 On to the picking apart, if you watched all of episode 9 last week, you probably had the same horrified realization as I that our first intimate moment in episode 2 where HT saves XG from getting run over by a moped was foreshadowing for the finale. I don’t want to dissuade anyone from watching the series again, I will, but with the ending we got? It’s going to be difficult to revisit that scene again without resentment. It’s bad enough that XiGu, the main character up to this point, dies off screen in a way that nearly renders him worthless. Especially in the way that this story said “meet this soft, pitiful, malnourished and overworked boy; fall in love with him as he allows himself to fall in love and watch as that love makes him bloom.” I haven’t been this upset over a needless character death since, well, I can’t even say that I have made peace with Candy’s death in season 2 of POSE and that was 5 months ago.

 I don’t know why the writer chose this ending that says “fighting tooth and nail for love is meaningless, yet the memories make it worthwhile?” I’m being petty, we know for HaoTing this love was not meaningless, XiGu’s death is not meaningless. If XiGu’s death was meaningless he wouldn’t have thrown himself into his undergrad studies and gotten into Stanford grad to continue XiGu’s dre…hold the hell on. Wait a damn minute, isn’t that…the dead love interest trope? So, in the POV of this finale, XiGu’s existence was to get HaoTing to mature and become a physicist? Remember, high school HaoTing didn’t really have a dream outside of being with XG 24/7. He became a better student and chose to become a Physics major solely to be with XG. During the show, this particular plot point had some fans noting, while sweet in theory, pinning your hopes and dreams on teenage love can be costly in real life.  

  Six years on, it seems the only people that have been affected by XiGu’s death are HaoTing and Lin Cai Chu, his ex-girlfriend?  I understand in real life we tend to be moved on after this much time. Yet, there was no mention of Xi Gu from the crew or the family, even when he was visibly upset around them. You could count Mrs. Xiang when she spoke to Hao Ting while he was packing, but she never names him, only implies, and,  I feel we had to dive for that meaning. Also, there was no significant interaction from Sun Bo or his sister Yong Ching, who were the closest with HT during this whole relationship. Yong Ching listens to her brother cry after their father tears XiGu and HaoTing apart and she plays messenger between them during their parting. However, in episode 10 she’s enamored with Phoebe’s style? Sun Bo is HaoTing’s brother in the battle for love they share everything about how their hearts feel about their guys. But when HT drunkenly pours out his grief after six years, and he kinda gives a “damn bro, that sucks” vibe for a good part of the talk? (Sidenote: Wayne acted his whole ass off in this episode, do you hear me?) In Trapped, ShaoFei knew everything about TangYi. When Chen Wen Hao and Sister Lizhen were revealed as TangYi’s parents he grieves with and comforts him back at home. (Bonus: if you watch that scene again you can see Jake break down with Chris when they pull apart.)  

  I’m not touching that damn doppleganger moment, why even do it? These decisions have been made, yet the way both XiGu’s death and HaoTing’s potential girlfriend Phoebe are hinted and implied at, yet never really engaged with or seen. Which, to me, signals fear on part of the writer. These are the decisions you felt comfortable making so why not go ahead and give it to us full out. Show us XiGu dying in HaoTing’s arms, HaoTing visiting his grave a la Trapped episode 10, or show us the moment when Phoebe meets the family. We could have gotten more thought or effort put into these plot twists on the part of the writer. We see the way HaoTing weeps over XiGu and how he just shrugs off the mention of Phoebe from his family. XiGu and HaoTing lined and called each other daily, Phoebe can’t even email to let him know where she is? Worse yet, HaoTing does not even attempt checking up on her? Is on a 13-hour flight or about to get on one? Don’t really know, damn sure don’t care.

 I “got” that he doesn’t think the love of his life can ever be replaced, but we also know through his actions that he doesn’t love her either. Even though he’s introducing her to his family, I ask, does he even like her? Where’d they meet? How old is she? Why bring her up if you aren’t going to flesh the concept of Phoebe out? If you really wanted to give a love story closure “well” you should have done all of this several episodes ago by breaking them up or even condensing the love story and killing XG earlier on rather than handing us this death/new gf cocktail in ONE EPISODE. So many HIStorians thought that the boys would split because of HaoTing lying about the rent, and this makes perfect sense as it’s a clear violation of XiGu’s desire to be as self-reliant as possible, even in a relationship. That could have given rise to the first big argument and potential breakup.

 At first, I thought that the most insulting thing about this finale was that we didn’t get a happy ever after, or at least a happy for now like Trapped. Happy endings are an unofficial mission statement of the series. However, the most insulting thing about this finale, for me, was that death became final. Three years in a series, where death has NEVER been final, or even an option for its leads at least since season 1. (Which HIStorians like, but don’t really talk about for good reason.) Now, you could argue about Trapped because Shao Fei does get shot twice and if any storyline was primed for death it was theirs. However, even with the action element, the Brooklyn Nine-Nine type comedy never gave it the gravity that MODC unknowingly had. We were presented the stakes, the murders of Old Tang/LiZhen, and knew the threat, Chen WenHao. In MODC, there was a quiet unease I had for most of my watch along the lines of, “this is perfect. I love it, but it’s too perfect.” The “challenges” XG/HT faced they pretty much steamrolled every time so I assumed they were in the clear until the last 5 minutes of episode 9.

 H1: My Hero and H1: Obsessed both had plots that dealt with the boundary of death, making it impermanent “because love.”  While we’re at it, let’s talk about Obsessed shall we. Even abusive ass, stalker ass Jiang Jing Teng, a man who by logic and common sense shouldn’t have, got a chance to love again. He got to say goodbye to, spread the ashes of, and reunite with Shao Yi Chen. After his beard, who it just so happened was also a witch/sorceress, brought back SYC from the dead, not once BUT TWICE?!? (First, from rebirth. Second, it was all a dream.) Yet YXG/SHT, the most loved couple since CTL, can’t get a similar twist of fate? Make it make sense, especially given that this is likely the final season for HIStory.

 That hurt to type, but, it looks like History3 is going to be the final season for the series. Since we haven’t had any official announcement from CHOCO. And with 2 major backlashes, the first based on misunderstanding with Trapped and the second due to MODC lazy finale, it’s looking like a done deal until the CTL movie comes out at the end of 2020. In which case, everyone involved is going to have to be on their very best behavior from now on. In the hearts of some HIStorians, this finale has done irreparable damage to MODC itself and the HIStory franchise. Which is sad, considering that up to this point HIStory was getting better and better with each season only to decimate that growth in one episode.

  *cue Mariah* I still believe that MODC is the best BL drama of 2019. It’s the best to come out of Taiwan since CTL. Most of that is due to the phenomenal work of the cast, and… yes, the initial episodes written by our screenwriter. Even with my frustrations with the finale, I was conflicted as I said on Wednesday night. I was very disappointed, but the performances I did get, specifically from Wayne, kept me engaged to the point that I still enjoyed it. Does it make up for the cruelty to Yu Xi Gu not at all, but the previous 9 episodes pretty much put it in my top 5 all-time early on. What now? I’m waiting for the dvd drop next year and reliving every blissful moment. Oh, and I’m rewatching episodes 5/6 for Christmas. 

If you made it this far, thank you HIStorians, you all have made this surprise journey most certainly worth it.  

Merry Christmas and Best Wishes to all of you in 2020,

 Jo

 PS: word from Mandarin speaking fans is that the novelization of this series has 2 endings. One happy and the one we saw on Wednesday which…*sigh* at least there’s a universe where the boys are happy. I also have some notes on issues I had with HaoTing’s family in episode 10 that I’ll likely touch on after Christmas.

PPS: I can’t believe we got blessed with multiple Duke Wu appearances!!!

[nurpebobra1970-blog]

If you approaching your 30 it a great idea to include retinol in your skincare. My dark circles were a nightmare once. In four months now, I have been feeling better with lesser darker circles now.. After wandering and sitting around alone for what seemed like a long time, a young man approached me and took me down under the black stone. There was a crowded dwelling or something, full of confused looking people like me, and a few handlers. We were told we would be ushered to the learned one, but we must take as little time as possible and just pay attention to what he told us.. Also as long as 고흥출장마사지 they design challenges certain ways, so of them are extremely difficult or straight up impossible for some characters. There almost always 1 "Kill a boss following very specific conditions" that is straight up impossible for summoners. I made over 1000c this league selling the Megaera skeleton challenge. The main problem I have is that she doesn't understand. If OP doesn't usually do anything for his birthday except go to dinner, why wouldn't she do that? You'd think after 6 years she would prioritize him a bit (relationship length source: OP mentioned it in a comment). I don't think he should break up with her over this one thing. I'm a smoker attempting to quit for the 2nd time, I try to be a "good smoker" but doesn't matter how you try to compensate, people will lump you in with the shit ones who litter and crap anyway. The very fact that you smoke at all makes you a shit person to some people. They have no understanding of addiction.. It like this "give everybody a prize who shows up." That great, until you 고흥출장마사지 get out in the cold cruel world and realize that just showing up doesn win sht. Same thing with this, "let boost everyone ego and tell them how gorgeous they are." They can be that foolish, or blind. There always a bigger dog, as they say.Anyway, sorry, I rant. So nonwhite = shady? I didn post this in my OG post but have repeated several times in this thread that what really sparked this post was a completely unwarranted pic of a latinx mom pushing twin babies in a stroller on the sidewalk. People thought she was suspicious for existing, in a neighborhood in between Koreatown and Hollywood, that has a lot of foot traffic due to nearby restaurants and shops. As a half latinx woman who lives in this community, that outrageous and worrisome to ME that people would assume she has ill intentions just by the color of her skin.. This is a gommage product and I really enjoy using it. This version is called "grape expectation", and it has a grape ish scent to it. It makes my skin feel so soft and smooth after I use it! Normally I am very skeptical towards gommage products but this one had me pleasantly surprised!. I exclusively use trial size mascara since I rarely use it on my false individuals. I also LOVE getting brushes. I can never bring myself to pay large sums of money on them and the ones i have received I loved. I get involved due to an alliance with Russia. I take a city of hers on an island just south of my territory and Peter and I pillage the crap out of her land. She calms down. For people who don use the "I a complete noob" excuse, there are far better reasons for you to switch. But I run a bit long already. I just say, start with this post:I glad you are self confident enough to tell people that Windows fits your lifestyle better, but I really hope that some day you give Linux a try.

[kwackdoctor]

Progress Note #2: How to love yourself

Today, for the nth time, I have googled “how to love myself”. It’s that time of the month, I think, that I get depressive thoughts, suicidical really, but I still try to fight for myself and try to save me. Just a little background, when I was in high school, I had suicidal notes – plans to kill myself, notes of goodbyes to my parents. To this day, I still remember the look of hurt of my mother when she read it. She was hurt, betrayed and scared at the same time. Right there I realized that my problems wont go away along with me, it will stay with the people left behind. So at that moment, I promised whenever these thoughts visit, and they often do, that I will fight for myself. A bit ironic, isn’t it? Negating the thoughts of killing myself. But it really happens, you really cant control these thoughts. I have thought about getting professional help, but I think im not ready to scare my parents again. So im doing a “self-help”. So while I was researching, I came about a website by marc and angel and they list down a few tips on how to love yourself. So today, I will try to do that.

“because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to accept, embrace, and love ourselves, with all of our imperfections”

it seem so easy. I mean, I love myself. But do I really KNOW myself for me to love it?

I was making plans with my best friend, telling him our plans of travelling together when this academic thing is over. I was telling him of not getting married early because I was scared of being alone. When his replied shocked me, he said, “Learn to love your company, be your own bestfriend”. GUYS. My own bestfriend, telling me to be my own bestfriend. Was he trying to break up with me? But it hit me hard. I SHOULD REALLY LOVE MYSELF. But how?

“We have to learn to be our own best friends beciase sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of others loving us, and we forget to love ourselves.”

Start telling yourself what you love about yourself.

Well, this is hard. You know what’s easy? Telling myself what I hate about myself. But let’s try this exercise. I have watched a series wherein they also did this but they only listed 5 things, so I will try that.

I love my height

I love my cheerful and optimistic side (even though it is tiring sometimes)

I love how I can make people laugh

I love my kilay

I love my dimples

Be one with what is

It says in the website, “ giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self”. Well, that’s easy. I am not perfect. I know that. Again, I can list all of my imperfections in 10 minutes unlike exercise 1 which took my 30 minutes to list 5 things. face palm

but being one with what is, it’s kind of difficult to understand. Being okay with yourself. Isn’t that settling? Isn’t that going below average? But maybe I am the average and being myself is okay. Well, we will update on this because I am also confused on the matter HAHA

Focus less on winning the approval of others

Okay, this is difficult. We live in a world where every aspect of your life is posted on social media. Every event in your daily, mundane life is recorded. How the hell do you stop trying to get approval of others? Whenever I post something, someone is always there to comment – be it bad or good. Maybe I should get a social media hiatus, right?

“Your time on this planet is precious:

“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it”

“Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live”

Sooooo, if I sleep all day, what does that make me? Still important. I think I shouldn’t be bothered by what people think about my itinerary. I will do whatever makes me happy. #sleepislife

Distance yourself from those who bring you down

Wait, what if I don’t know those people? Should I know them?

“Being in a relationship is better than being in a wrong one” – OH SNAP, that hit me. I have been with this guy for a long time now (hello 7 years), and I still don’t see any progress with our relationship. Should I see progress? But I still don’t have the guts to let him go. I still love him. But in most times, we just aren’t in sync. I don’t know what to do with it, though.

“Know your worth” – still trying, I am so sorry.

“Quality over quantity” – ah, this I have done right. I think. But sometimes, I still feel like I was choosen last. You know those scenes in the movie, where the captain chooses their team mate? I always feel like I was the last one choosen. Maybe because they have been together longest? Or maybe because I don’t speak the language? Or maybe because of who I am as a person. But I don’t really blame them, I guess it’s my fault.

Forgive your past self.

I’m not so sure about this. I don’t really have a past to forgive on. Or do i?

(I just realized how long this list is, so I will try to be more concise)

Start making the changes you know you need to make

WHAT CHANGES?

“Just because something made you happy in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever” – this is him again. I think. But but but, he still makes me happy. Sometimes. Yea, im stupid that way.

Embrace the mistakes you haven’t even made yet

This looks fun. “Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all”

Well, the thing is, I keep making the wrong decisions.

Show gratitude for who you are and what you have right now.

I am very grateful with what I have right now. I know there are a lot of people less fortunate that I am, and I am very much grateful for what I have. But sometimes, I really can’t control my jealous type. They have like this, they go to this, and whatever. But I keep telling myself that what I have now is more than enough and I shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s an everyday struggle, but I know what I have.

I have always thought that I could get anything I want as long as I put my mind to it. But there are things that I really can’t have. That makes me angry and want to throw a tantrum but I realize that I am too old for that sht. I have to learn to accept these things, however hard it seems.

“There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now. So use pain, frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in conttol of the way you look at life.”

I will accept these things.

No matter how hard it is.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, so man up, self!

Do something every day that makes you happy

What if nothing makes me happy anymore?

“Life is short”

“Invest in the activities you deeply care about”

“You have to experience life on your terms before you can be life-giving to others”

I really need to get a hobby. Any suggestions?

Give yourself a fair chance to explore new ideas and opportunites

But how?

Hobbies. Interests. What.

Listen to your intuition and be honest with yourself about everything

Now, this is what this blog is all about. Being honest with myself. You see, I haven’t been honest with a lot of people in my life. I told lies to be interesting. I had to keep up with it. But then I realized, I don’t really have to do that. Fuck what people say, this is me. If you don’t love me, then leave. (I hope I am this confident in real life).

“Confidence comes from knowing that what youre doing is right, and that what you’re doing is right for YOU”

Believe in your abilities.

Focus in writing your story, instead of reading, watching, and hearing about everyone else’s

I feel like I have been doing this at some point of my life. I guess, my life was so boring I had to make it a bit interesting by watching others. But I realized again, that this was wrong.

Pay close attention to your life as you’re living it

This is what I am also practicing. Being in the present. Maybe because of my work that I have missed a lot of stuff happening in my loved one’s lives, but now I will try to be there. To be present. I used to ask myself whenever someone invites me, “what will I do there”. Today, I will answer myself with “Just be there, be present.”

Loosen up and be a little less serious about it all

I guess what’s good about me is that I don’t take it all seriously. Most of my friends can attest that. But I guess there are certain aspect in life that you should take seriously. Differentiating them is the lesson life gives you.

“people with good sense of humor have a better sense of life” REALLY NOW

Lastly, (thank God), Go out of your way to be loving and kind to others too

Heh, this is hard. I have been known to be maldita and judgemental. How do I stop?

“people who love themselves come across as very caring, generous, and kind to others too”

so today, I will try to be loving and caring. It is hard. But I will really try to go out of my way to do this. I hope everyone does, to make this life a better place.

Parting thoughts: Start looking at yourself more. Notice yourself more. Eventually, you’ll realize you love yourself more. You have nothing else, but yourself, so you really don’t have a choice. I know I will do the same. This will be my self-help blog for loving myself. I will keep you posted on my “progress”, if there’s any.

Cheerios.

[supernaturas-blog]

Tyme is ours let’s just us teach ourselves I mean we’re pretty safe with boundaries and we trust others with common realities so let’s cruise for a sec.

I’ll go fishing soon for more prints and screen savers but I wouldn’t post as Satan unless I’m from that dommi and my heads not on fire. Bela you take a nice picture it was good to see you on YouTube last night. Maybe some of you girls get fresh blood I have to wait and take what comes naturally like tonight I had to pull a cuticle and then I polished it off but God it’s like I miss the constant feeding. But it serves its purpose … Nonetheless don’t you women ever think about me about Lucifer and you I know Bela I already know you walk in the light and you’re heart is pure and I did last night I shared tyme with Doris on hangouts I’m sorry but I yah I got jealous and yeahhh I’m such a jealous God so now we know God’s like a universal truth but I’m a real tough muthafckr…. I miss the red eye I miss the kisses and sleepless nights Areal ….cause I know you’re irresistible and I also know jealousy and I envy him but cool Ariel I know what chemical romance is but I gotta home and I don’t beg. Doris asked me why I’m acting like this because the sob is getting my Sunday best… it’s difficult for me but that’s what men and women do but I’m still at odds with my own vampirsm…. Dmn not to mention the sexual strength and weakness thing guess what I’m fckn weaknd about our whole scene but cool we’ll be together soon enri and smoking blood and Cygnus and all of us…. Relax it’s just a birthday and a day older is one day closer to you Arial look I love you and no I don’t like being on the back burner tell me why are we apart do you care about Lucifer Ariel don’t you want to marry me to sex me to drop the professional bull sht on they lap and both us just road trip again like that I’m sure cause I’m gonna love you there as well as this side just matter of fact it is what it is Hellll and I’m a jealous man I’m not sorry Ariel. I’m a very jealous God and my tyme is coming…. Maybe no more hell maybe no more jealousy maybe no more hatred maybe no more chemical romance or maybe no more Jesus or maybe no more Heaven….. Bela Ariel and Doris you girls are lucky enough to kiss you girls had me for Valentine’s Day and I’m pass the buck another lucky few will will with me wish in my happy sixty’s … dmn I can float on the bay skyline but what if you really love someone what if you’re really really real with someone and Areal!!! Chemical Romance and name calling and real obstacles like flicks or other ladies or gentlemen or emotional baggage and separation junk just junk gets in the way…. Let’s ignore the door look let’s hide in the shadows hey let’s rise above the mountain and descend the valley cause Lucifer is almost free Satan is almost in you’re arms again baby And you gotta help me stand with assertiveness and be powerful be on the mark Areil in Authority and to rise up and be free like I said I’ll push pull sweat and toil but for my lucky angels me I would be lost….. and yes I’m a master vampyr

[javen-tiger]

man i need to go off my pills so i dont give a sht abt anything

like. i feel it should not be difficult to understand that the majority of opposition to the ~interference of china~ in australia is couched in nationalist terms!! obviously the chinese state is bad but when u fearmonger abt it most of the time youse end up going on about chinese people international students are spies and what not. fucking the australian state is more our enemy than the people of china. jeezus.