#That kind of resilience deserves serious attention—

[cyarsk52-20]

what i hate is that ppl tried to play this as ohhh sympathy this sympathy that, BTCH SHE WAS GETTING TORMENTED! Like she was called a DEMON! for getting shot.. her mom just died and she didn’t have any other family members to support her like these ppl are evil

the way men band behind abusers is fucking evil like you really can't trust any of them I'm sick

patriarchy is Femicide

Misogyny is Femicide

Misogynoir is Femicide

the worst part of all of this is that the tory fans and men in the industry were almost happy to become extensions of tory’s abuse. y’all literally helped him abuse her. i will NEVER forget that.

diddy, Chris brown, LeBron: I hope you burn in hell and the same goes for everyone else who dehumanize her to slut out for her abuser and tormentor!

Megan is too kind for me I would have turned into a serial murderer

like I would’ve crashed out sooooo bad like all those niggas who have been exposed would be dead

[sunflowerabyss]

Hi!! Omg i just discovered your stories and i LOVE them!! There's not enough fics about older remus, i love that you write for him🙌🏼 so i have a request: Could you write something with Older remus and younger reader who is Severus's little sister? (Like maybe Tonks age). Where they met at the Order but him and Sirius don't trust her at first because she dresses in all black (very typical witchy aesthetic, just like Severus) and has a serious resting face so she doesn't look very friendly... but then he realizes she's actually shy and sweet and bubbly.

Idk, that's the general idea i have, you'll have to see how to make them end up together🤭 Btw, if you don't like the idea don't worry! Just ignore it😁

Dances in the Dark

Pairings: Older!Remus Lupin x Fem!Younger!Reader

A/N: Awww, first off, thank you for your kind words! I love older Remus and feel like he doesn't get the recognition he deserves. I hope I lived up to your expectations, it was a fun write!

Warnings: Age gap (reader is 25), Fluff

___________________________________________________

As Severus Snape's younger sister, you were a study in contrasts. At twenty-five, your age belied the depth of experience etched onto your features. Growing up in the shadow of your elder brother's reputation had forged you into a resilient and independent witch. The Snape bloodline ran thick with a unique blend of brilliance and tenacity, traits that manifested in both Severus and yourself.

Your magical abilities exceeded those of many your age, a fact that had earned you a place within the Order of the Phoenix. The decision to allow you to join the ranks was met with skepticism, especially from Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

It was this very similarity that triggered distrust among some Order members. Remus and Sirius, in particular, eyed you warily, wary of potential deception or hidden agendas.

The first time Remus Lupin laid eyes on you, he couldn't help but draw parallels between your demeanor and that of your older brother. Dressed in all black, your attire mirrored Severus's signature aesthetic, and your serious resting face painted you in the same guarded hues. You exuded an aura of stern determination, an exterior that echoed the standoffish nature associated with the Snape name.

Sirius Black, ever the provocateur, couldn't resist making a snarky comment. As they stood in the corridor outside the meeting room, Sirius leaned in, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Did you notice, Remus? Little Miss Snape over there is like a mini Snivellus. Same brooding aesthetic, same unimpressed face. Bet she's got a cauldron of bat spleens hidden in that black dress of hers."

Remus shot Sirius a disapproving glance, his eyes narrowing. "Sirius, she's here to help. Let's not jump to conclusions quite yet."

Sirius chuckled, undeterred by Remus's disapproval. "Right you are, Moony. But a Snape is a Snape, and you know how much I trust them."

Remus sighed, realizing that getting Sirius to see past his biases would be a battle of its own. Truth is though, Remus isn't sure if he can trust you either. Sure, Severus helped him brew Wolfsbane, but that was under Dumbledore's order. Remus still wouldn't trust him as far as he can throw him.

As the meeting progressed, Remus couldn't help but keep a watchful eye on you. The air thickened with tension, and the wariness in the room mirrored the doubt that clung to you.

He observed from a distance, noting the way you isolated yourself, much like Severus. Yet, amidst the stoicism, there were subtle moments that caught his attention--a fleeting smile, a quiet chuckle at a fellow member's joke. These small glimpses contradicted the Snape facade, hinting at a more complex persona beneath the surface.

After the meeting concluded, Remus decided to approach, determined to unravel the mystery behind your Severus-esque facade.

"Severus's sister, right?" Remus inquired, his voice a blend of curiosity and caution. You met his gaze, and the intensity in your eyes surprised him. It was a gaze that held secrets, a silent challenge.

"Yes. Y/N," you replied, your tone measured.

"It's good to have you here with the Order."

"It's good to be with the Order."

Remus nodded, though uncertainty lingered. Over the following weeks, he observed you from a distance, noticing your tendency to retreat into the shadows, engrossed in books and spellwork.

Remus eventually found himself enchanted by the subtle charms of you. As you immersed yourself in the world of books, Remus couldn't help but notice the endearing quirks that made you all the more captivating. The gentle kick of your feet, an unconscious expression of joy, as you delved into the pages of a captivating novel added a playful touch to your serious demeanor. During spellwork, your movements were a graceful dance of magic, revealing a finesse and dedication that spoke volumes about your skill. In moments of solitude, Remus caught the soft chuckle you tried to stifle at the humor within the pages of a book or the unexpected outcome of a spell. The quiet library echoed with the delighted squeal that escaped your lips when you ventured into the realm of romance novels, a momentary lapse into unabashed joy. Your serious exterior slowly cracked, revealing a shy and sweet nature that few took the time to uncover.

Every night at Grimmauld Place was draped in an uneasy stillness, and the weight of the impending war pressed heavily on your shoulders. Unable to find sleep, you found refuge in the dimly lit library, the soft glow of candles flickering in tandem with the music streaming quietly through an old record player. Your fingers traced the edges of an old book as lyrics danced in your ears, a desperate attempt to find tranquility in the chaos.

Remus, too, roamed the halls restlessly, unable to succumb to the embrace of sleep. The subtle melody of muggle music drew him toward the library, and as he entered, he discovered you immersed in the world of both literature and music. The sight was enchanting--you, surrounded by the soft glow, lost in the rhythm of the night.

A gentle clearing of his throat alerted you to Remus's presence. Startled, you turned around, a sheepish smile playing on your lips. "Sorry if I woke you up," you apologized, the sincerity in your voice echoing in the quiet room.

Remus shook his head, a small smile forming. "No need to apologize. I was already awake. Mind if I join you?"

A nod of agreement passed between you, and Remus took a seat across from you. The awkward tension that had lingered in the air seemed to dissipate as he asked, "What keeps you up at this hour?"

You sighed, your eyes reflecting the weariness that clung to your soul. "Just trying to find some peace amidst the chaos, I guess."

Remus understood, a shared sentiment etched on his features. "I feel the same. The world outside these walls is anything but quiet."

The conversation flowed naturally as you both discussed the music, finding common ground in the tunes that resonated with you. The library transformed into a haven where the war seemed distant, if only for a moment. As one song faded into another, a daring thought crossed your mind.

"Would you like to dance?" you asked, your voice carrying a hint of vulnerability.

Remus blinked in surprise, his expression softening. "Dance? Here?"

A mischievous grin tugged at your lips as you stood, offering your hand. "Why not? Sometimes, we need a little escape, don't we?"

Remus hesitated for a moment before accepting your hand, rising to his feet. The room became a canvas for an impromptu dance, the soft music wrapping around you like a protective cloak. In the quiet elegance of the moment, you spoke words that had lingered unspoken.

"I know my presence brings uncertainty, given Severus's reputation," you confessed, eyes searching Remus's for understanding.

He nodded, his movements mirroring yours in the dance. "It did, at first."

The admission hung in the air, but instead of casting a shadow, it became a bridge between you. Remus continued, "But I've come to see the person behind the name, the one who finds comfort in the quiet of the night, just like me."

In the midst of the war's cacophony, you and Remus found a moment of respite, a connection forged in the gentle sway of a library dance. As the mellow notes of the music enveloped the dimly lit library, you found yourself in a moment of quiet intimacy with Remus. The dance had woven a delicate connection between you, as Remus' arms encircled you, holding you close.

Feeling a surge of courage, you rested your head against Remus's chest, finding solace in the rhythmic cadence of his heartbeat. It thudded beneath your ear, a rapid tempo that betrayed a subtle undercurrent of nerves. The music continued, its gentle melody seemingly synchronized with the quickened beats of Remus's heart. Remus tightened his embrace.

The library, with its flickering candles and ancient tomes, became a sanctuary where the chaos of war retreated, leaving only two hearts finding each other.

Unbeknownst to you both, Sirius stood in the shadows, a silent observer of the scene unfolding before him. His eyes, typically sharp and filled with mischief, softened as he witnessed the unspoken bond between Remus and Severus Snape's sister. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, a rare moment of warmth and understanding. As he quietly retreated back to his room, he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. Severus is gonna be so mad.

[harmonyhealinghub]

Embracing Positivity: The Power of Being Aware of Your Thoughts Shaina Tranquilino July 13, 2024

Our minds are constantly buzzing with thoughts. Some days, these thoughts uplift us, inspire us, and fill us with joy. Other days, however, they can drag us down into a spiral of negativity and self-doubt. What if we told you that by simply becoming more aware of these thoughts, you could drastically change your outlook on life?

The Inner Dialogue: Friend or Foe?

Think about the last time you received a compliment. Maybe a colleague praised your work or a friend admired your latest accomplishment. How did it make you feel? Chances are, that positive feedback brought a smile to your face and a spring to your step. Now, contrast that with the last time you criticized yourself. Perhaps you made a mistake at work, or things didn’t go as planned in a personal project. How did you react? Did you berate yourself, dwell on your shortcomings, or worse, believe that you’re not good enough?

It’s natural to be our own worst critic, but often, we are far harsher on ourselves than anyone else would ever be. The comments we would never tolerate from others, we too readily accept from our own inner voice.

The Impact of Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can be insidious. It chips away at our self-esteem, diminishes our confidence, and ultimately hampers our ability to grow and thrive. Imagine a friend constantly pointing out your flaws or belittling your achievements. You wouldn’t tolerate it, right? So why do we accept it from ourselves?

These thoughts not only affect our mental well-being but also have a profound impact on our physical health. Studies have shown that chronic stress from negative thinking can weaken the immune system, increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, and contribute to other serious health problems.

Cultivating Awareness: A Path to Positivity

The first step to breaking free from this cycle is simple yet profound: awareness. Pay attention to your thoughts. Notice when your inner dialogue turns critical or pessimistic. Instead of automatically accepting these thoughts as truth, challenge them. Ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts, or is it an exaggerated interpretation? Would I say this to a friend in the same situation?

By becoming aware of your thoughts, you gain the power to reframe them. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and learn from your mistakes without self-condemnation. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, and remember to be kind to yourself, especially in moments of difficulty.

The Journey to Self-Compassion

Being aware of your thoughts is not about suppressing negative emotions or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about fostering self-compassion and resilience. It’s about acknowledging that setbacks and challenges are a natural part of life’s journey and that you have the strength to overcome them.

Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Whether it’s meditation, journaling, or simply taking a few moments to breathe deeply, these practices can help you tune in to your thoughts and cultivate a more positive mindset.

In a world where external influences often shape our perceptions, reclaiming control over our inner dialogue is a powerful act of self-care. Remember, you have the power to choose how you respond to your thoughts. Embrace positivity, practice self-kindness, and watch as your outlook on life transforms.

As you embark on this journey of self-awareness, may you find strength in your vulnerability, courage in your imperfections, and joy in the beauty of your own unique journey. You deserve it.

[rabidragerant6]

My First Love, I Apologize

We were just kids. And I think that is what hurts the most. I didn’t know what I was doing. Those compliments became rude comments because I was angry. I was angry that I was holding back my feelings to satisfy the ones that gave me this life. I was angry because I fell in love with you and I felt like I was suffocating in nothing but disappointment. From everyone, but mostly you. Because you were the one I should have put first.

You fell right into my arms for me to then show you how hurtful and destructive I could be. I was. I was so consumed by fear. You are right. However, I was not embarrassed of us.. I just wasn’t strong enough to withstand the judgment of every mind. The looks and whispers that echoed in every direction. I didn’t like that kind of attention.

I loved us.

After a few months of being in a dark place I had to let you free. I did it in the worst way possible. I remember. You cried and pleaded for something, anything. I gave you nothing. A smile, a single movement, two words that would have solved all of our problems. I’m bisexual. And I’m proud of it.

But instead I hid in fear of judgment. I sat quiet and let you feel alone. I let you go to bed wondering if you were good enough. I let you think that I didn’t love you. I let you think that I didn’t care.. when I cared so much, just not about my own damn future. I did. And I regret it.

My life would have turned out completely different if I had the courage and the belief in myself to say that I loved a girl. A girl that is beautiful, kind, courageous, loyal, humble and resilient. A girl that would do anything to keep the peace, a girl that thinks about everybody else but herself. A girl that sacrificed so much time to deal with a monster like me. A girl that is so incredibly wicked smart but still gave me everything, she still chose to believe in me. A girl whose jokes were too serious but still made me laugh. A girl that stood proud in herself but held back so much just to have me love her half way.

You deserved so much more. You DO deserve so much more.

There was a time when I sang man in the mirror with so much joy. There was a time when stoplights where the highlight of my night. There was a time when movie theaters/drive ins felt magical. There was a time when I looked forward to sending/receiving those long sweet notes. There was a time when I should have made the tough choices because no matter what, I had you at the end of the day. And now all I have are these memories of a time when I was truly happy to be myself.

I guess never live for other people. Never feel that you are indebted to something else. Never be afraid of the endless possibilities of what your insecurities can blossom into. You are UNSTOPPABLE if you let yourself.

To my first love, I apologize. For everything I have caused you. For the emotional distance. For the physical disconnection. For the mental distress. For the pain I have committed. You gave me your heart. Only for me to shut you out and push you away.

To my first love, I let you walk away without ever truly telling you how I feel.

[nazali]

danganronpa :3

keeping in mind i have yet to play v3 or watch the anime so this is entirely based off of the first two games (and i guess the half of ultra despair girls that i played)

my favourite female character: it's probably still sakura, i am so fond of her she's so resilient and kind and forgiving and selfless. i find it interesting that everyone seems to love her but she also never really gets any attention in the fandom? like she's just universally agreed to be a likeable character but at the same time no one seems to make her their Absolute Favourite my favourite male character: prooooobably a tie between byakuya & nagito? nagito is more prevalent in my mind rn just because i finished the second game very recently but byakuya i'm still super fond of and i forget how much until he pops up again and i'm like BYAKUYA IT'S BYAKUYA!! they're very cliche choices but i think i just love the antagonistic/rival characters without them being the actual mastermind Big Bads yk, i love the dynamics they have with the protagonists and how much chaos they add to the trials and mysteries three other favourite characters: chihiro fujisaki (he is so sweet and so relatable), leon kuwata (his design admittedly carries this because he gets very little screentime aside from in school mode), probably ibuki mioda?? there were a few characters i was going between for #3 but i think i was most invested in ibuki, i love how cheery she was, love her design, love her serious moments like her final free time event with hajime my least favourite character: teruteru hanamura..... it's not even that i think perverted characters are inherently off-putting, i'm pretty fond of hifumi (though i will die on the hill that hifumi wasn't even that bad & that toko fulfills the Perverted Character archetype for dr1 not him), but teruteru was just genuinely gross and invasive and he just NEVER STOPPED, up until his trial there was not a single moment he wasn't sexually harassing someone or making suggestive comments or violating someone AND THEN I FIND OUT that in the anime or whatever he tries to rape someone??????? excuse moi? his backstory was sad and his "i think i'm the one who went crazy" line got me, his thing with his mother hit different once i thought about it as someone who just recently lost my own mother, but GOD am i so glad he died quickly i could not have handled him for any longer my otp: hajime/nagito and byakuya/makoto are both my ride or dies, like i said above i love the antagonist/protagonist dynamic and in this case i genuinely think both combos would balance each other out and help one another grow as people my notp: going against the grain here since it's the Fandom Favourite Ship but i do not vibe at all with makoto/kyoko (or really any of the forced Implied Heterosexual Romances like makoto/sayaka & hajime/chiaki), i absolutely hate feeling forced into some straight romance in games and having them repeatedly shoved at me throughout it and it immediately made me resent it the character i’m most like: definitely chihiro - very timid, very self-deprecating, spends a lot of time on computers and with technology where i find it much easier to communicate with people and show who i am, dedicated to improving myself as a person and growing/developing, Gender Struggles, very shaped by experiences of bullying, quiet, surprisingly emotionally resilient favourite game: this is a good question, i feel like it's been too long since i played dr1 to compare them accurately?? but i did like the plot twists in dr2 a lot so i'm probably gonna go with the second game saddest character death: chihiro :( he didn't deserve that most attractive character: from the men it's probably nagito & leon in terms of best design so far but i actually really like what i've seen of shuichi, from the women it's gotta be ibuki if we're talking nicest design but mukuro-as-junko if we're talking who i personally find most attractive (it's the freckles)

send me a fandom !

[christ2525]

22 Twin Flame Number

What does life way number 22 mean? The Existence Way Number 22 is a portrayal of your character (or character), and in the event that you work on further developing it, riches and popularity will come your direction normally.

By heeding the guidance of this number, you will acquire the capacity to get to the most elevated frequencies of light, consequently permitting you to show your most profound longings.

In view of your choice about what you need to accomplish, you have a wide exhibit of options accessible to you. It's your decision to either face the challenge of finding something astounding or settle down for a more repetitive and unremarkable experience of life.

Is 22 a decent number in numerology? Number 22 motivates you to consolidate your instinct and information on the greater otherworldly setting to make an answer that is both commonsense and satisfying realistically speaking.

It urges you to adopt a receptive strategy to find an answer that is both reasonable and moving. You wouldn't believe how effectively you can track down a way ahead when you are available to all prospects.

Is 22 the most impressive number? 22 is viewed as one of the Expert Developer Numbers which establishes the underpinning of cutting edge numerology. This succession is a sign of the Heavenly Movement of the Universe and shows up wherever in nature.

Ace Developer 22 is firmly connected with trust, compassion, cooperation, and collaboration in view of its heavenly capacity to recreate or copy your thoughts and feelings.

22 Holy messenger Number and Love Heavenly messenger number 22 sends you a message that affection is your main reason throughout everyday life and it ought to be sought after no matter what. At the point when you are prepared to focus on a relationship, ensure that the other individual genuinely deserve your time and fondness.

Deal with your own connections and be caring to everyone around you. Those you care about will return your love ten times in the event that you treat them with generosity, resilience, and understanding.

The most ideal way to have blissful associations with others is to rehearse confidence and appreciate being separated from everyone else once in a while. This will assist you with having a real sense of reassurance in yourself regardless of who is around you or what occurs in your life.

In the event that you are single however prepared for a serious relationship, the significance of heavenly messenger number 22 recommends that somebody enchanting and appealing is introducing themselves as a contender for chasing after a serious relationship with them.

This could mean somebody from your past getting back to your life after some time has elapsed since they have done as such, or it could mean gathering another person who quickly grabs your attention.

You may definitely be aware on the off chance that this individual is appropriate for you or on the other hand assuming there is any other person out there who may be more qualified to going through their time on earth with you.

Be liberal while meeting new individuals yet in addition wary in light of the fact that not every person should be invited into our lives promptly with no earlier information about them or their goals towards us.

Assuming this exceptional somebody returns into your life after some time has elapsed, then, at that point, see yourself as fortunate on the grounds that it presumably intends that there was something uniquely great among you all along, regardless of whether it keep going long.

22 Twin Fire Number Heavenly messenger 22 Twin Flame Number is a strong update that your twin fire has forever been close to you, regardless of whether you see them right now. It additionally demonstrates that you have some kind of challenge coming up, yet the holy messengers will assist you with getting past it assuming you request their help.

One of the most amazing ways of associating with your twin fire is by thinking and reaching out to your own internal otherworldliness. Assuming you are now engaged with your twin fire yet haven't seen them in some time, this number could be a delicate update that they are still there.

It may not feel like things are changing, however things are most certainly occurring on a fiery level. Be patient and keep buckling down on yourself with the goal that you can free yourself up to additional opportunities in your affection life.

Things may not go as quick as we would like them to with regards to our twin fire relationship, yet number 22 guarantees us that all will be well eventually, the same length as we remain fixed on our otherworldly excursion and hush up about obvious and who we truly are where it counts inside.

Make a point not to offer a lot of yourself on the grounds that doing so could create issues for both yourself as well as other people associated with your relationship with one's twin fire accomplice (counting loved ones).

Consider to how you can sustain your connections from the back to front by being clear about the main thing most to you, since just when you are cheerful might people around you at any point genuinely partake in your bliss also (in light of the fact that they are associated with you).

22 Importance in Law of Sign and Fascination Holy messenger number 22 is an affirmation from the heavenly domains that you are lined up with your spirit's motivation and that you are going in the correct heading toward accomplishing your objectives.

At the point when you over and over see 22, it is a heavenly message to continue onward on a similar way as well as to keep an uplifting outlook and a hopeful mentality. You include all the power inside you to achieve what you set off on a mission to do, and with the heavenly powers next to you, there isn't anything preventing you from accomplishing it.

The center thought of this number is to continue to push ahead with confidence and confidence in yourself and your capacities. It likewise demonstrates that something great is going to come into your life assuming you keep fixed on what gives pleasure and joy to it.

So assuming something has been burdening your conscience of late, this present time might be a decent opportunity to relinquish it so things can begin improving for you.

Since despite the fact that things could look awful at the present time, recollect that this world isn't actually "genuine" — it's simply a deception made by our brains.

Worry don't as well — all that will sort out eventually assuming we keep confidence in ourselves and continue making progress toward our fantasies without allowing dread to keep us away from accomplishing our objectives.

Heavenly messenger Number 22 Doreen Excellence Heavenly messenger number 22 seems to help you to remember your profound nature, unique characteristics, abilities, and capacities. At the point when you go over this other-worldly number, the profound bosses are attempting to certainly stand out enough to be noticed to tell you that it is the ideal opportunity for you to accept the rules of your life and start giving your inherent gifts something to do to help others.

Developed profound creatures believe you should realize that you are equipped for accomplishing all that you set off on a mission to do and that you ought to have confidence in yourself and the capacities you have. They have confidence in you and will help guide and safeguard you as you leave on this new excursion in your life.

On the off chance that radiant 22 shows up in your life, it's a message from the opposite side telling you not to stress over others' opinion on your choices since the people who really love and care about us will uphold us regardless of what you do or the amount of progress we make toward our objectives.

In the event that they genuinely care about us, they ought to be content for our prosperity as opposed to loathing or censuring us for accomplishing things that they might have imagined about yet never made a move on.

Know that certain individuals will endeavor to utilize this occasion against you by making misleading indictments or taking advantage of their leverage over others to spread untruths and sassed tales about who you genuinely are!

Try not to worry in light of the fact that the positive energies far offset any cynicism, so don't allow anybody's viewpoint to lessen your bliss!

22 holy messenger number is here to console you that everything is going as expected, so don't stress over minor subtleties on the off chance that something doesn't go according to plan — all that will turn out great eventually, regardless of whether it seem like it ok at this point!

Number 22 Scriptural Importance Holy messenger number 22's importance can be found in the Book of scriptures where this number addresses individuals of God who have acknowledged Christ as their rescuer. This image welcomes you to think about all the thoughtfulness, love, and backing you've gotten from your holy messengers of late.

Heavenly messengers utilize 22 as an update that it's the ideal opportunity for people to spread generosity and sympathy into our reality since this cognizant energy can assist us with interfacing with God.

In numerous religions, numbers like 22 address otherworldly messages passed on by Divine creatures and for Christians, it shows that God will safeguard his dedicated workers assuming they follow his will and comply with his precepts.

It's conceivable that a few surprising positive changes could happen in the event that we heed this guidance from the holy messengers.

Assuming that you're attempting to get pregnant or begin a family with somebody unique in your life, seeing this number could demonstrate that things are going to get a move on regarding richness or origination (simply remember about utilizing condoms).

Furthermore, heavenly messenger number 22 address profound association among people and holy messengers or other heavenly energies (like God himself). At the point when we see divine images like this one spring up wherever around us, it frequently implies that we really want to listen cautiously for messages from above since something significant is going to happen (either positive or negative).

Number 22 Numerology As per numerology, holy messenger number 22 is a consoling message from your heavenly messengers who believe you should realize that they are dependably with you, safeguarding and directing you on your way through this life.

This can be a troublesome time, however with their help and direction, you will actually want to defeat any snags that emerge. Remain steadfast in your convictions, support yourself when required, and have confidence that everything will pan out in support of yourself.

Number 22 is reminding you to keep an inspirational perspective and point of view, in any event, during troublesome times. Consider the troubles you face as any open doors for self-awareness and utilize those challenges to fuel your determination to succeed.

[drrutherford]

gianna-palazzolo​:

“If I don’t want to do something, I don’t. Pressure from my family is irrelevant,” she assured, sternly enough to convey that she was very much serious about that. “For a multitude of reasons, including their relationship with the Russians, I have no intention of working with or for your family, Gideon. Whether he asks me to or not.”

Whilst she understood his position, Gianna had met enough people in her life who fell into morally grey areas—her own father included, by the opinion of most—that she could not and would not lay down blanket judgement. And maybe it would come back to bite her in the ass later, but she preferred to get to know people as people before making assumptions, because assuming had never served her well in the past. What if people did the same to her, based on the kind of people she associated with? The people her family were involved with?

For a moment, she quietly wondered. If he was this overt about discouraging other people from becoming involved with the Rutherfords, was it because it was important to him that people knew he had nothing to do with it? Maybe they differed. Perhaps he looked on at his family’s decisions with disdain, where she had always looked on at her father’s work as a man’s only hope at doing the best he could for his family. Their situations were different, no doubt, but if he was so quick to condemn his own family, Gianna could only imagine the scorn he had for people who followed a similar path for anybody else.

Maybe, eventually, she’d be one of them…

“I don’t. I don’t want to know.”

But she wanted to know him. Not Andrew Rutherford’s son and not Lara Rutherford’s brother. Not the man whose last name had undoubtedly opened many doors in his life based on the very things he seemed to oppose. No assumptions.

Pressing her lips together, she dared a glance back through the door they’d just exited. The view of the table she’d been sat at was obscured, but Gianna could see enough to note that her uncle’s attention was fixed their way, expression hard to gauge. Maybe this would come back to bite her in the ass later, too, but when she finally looked back his way, her hesitation was minimal:

“Are you busy later?”

.

He admires her resiliance in the face of potential family pressure, but wonders if it’s due to tried and true self-assurance, or whether she simply hasn’t been pressured in the first place. He’s resisted in the face of familial expectation — he knows firsthand that it isn’t easy. A paradoxical burden, to insist on being free. There were years and years of subtle pushes from his father, suggestions, encouragement, temptations; the sort he’s never wanted. He had the luxury of never having been forced, but the bitterness, too, in feeling as though his parent’s lukewarm pride in him would have been much truer if he’d caved and followed in Andrew Rutherford’s footsteps.

... And the bitterness of not belonging anywhere, not really. 

Judged by many who support the mob, for fear he’ll judge them first. The repeated cheapening of his position as if the real problem is one man’s opinion, not the gross injustices being committed by the mafia in the first place. 

Judged equally by outsiders for not doing more, being more, stopping his family at all costs... As if he even could. As if they don’t deserve the same luxury he’d been given; to choose — whether or not he likes their choice.

Plainly?... He’s exhausted.

In some ways, he’s felt exhausted since that fateful day in his boyhood when he first learned the truth about his adoptive father’s work. Staring up in idolization of the sun, one minute... Icarus, hurtling to the ground the next. The surgeon offers Giovanna a weathered, half-hearted smile when she decides she doesn’t want to know where his allegiances lie. It may as well be a shrug. “Fair enough.” He acknowledges the choice with a tilt of his head, grey eyes staying soft. “Never let it be said that I didn’t offer.”

But her next query catches the Rutherford off-guard. ‘Are you busy later?’... Chronic caution weighs a question on his tongue, alongside an answer. Given the talk they’ve just had, he’d be a fool not to wonder. “That depends. Why?”

[morefandomscenarios]

Hii! Could I request headcanons for Kid, Law, Luffy finding out that their s/o has the celestial dragon’s brand?

Hello! You're referring to the slave mark, yeah?

I think their reaction could go two ways, depending on whether you're uncomfortable with having the mark on you (💔) or if you're indifferent/proud (💝) about it.

Luffy

If this is before Sabaody, he would be a little confused. He wouldn't know what it meant and would bluntly ask you what it was.

💔 With his emotional intelligence, he can sense that you dislike the mark, but he still asks because he wants to know why you look so scared and pained.

💝 Though he can see that you're unbothered by it, he's a curious person and he wants to know the story behind it.

If this is after Sabaody / after you explain and he understands the significance of the mark, and tell him what happened to you while you were enslaved, he'll fall silent.

Insert serious mode Luffy here. You know the look.

He's angry, of course. But not at you - at the people who hurt you.

If this is before the Sabaody arc, he'll make sure he lands another punch to the Celestial Dragon in the auction house for you.

He takes extra time to always admire and place kisses on the brand, reminding you that he doesn't mind about your status in the past and loves you just as you are.

Law

Being a doctor, his first approach to it is medical. Law makes sure the mark is well taken care of and you're not having some kind of pain or discomfort from it.

💔 Since the brand bothers you, he'll offer you to cover/mask it with tattoos. Personally I headcanon Law has some leftover scars and discolorations all over his body from the Amber Lead disease, but some of them are largely covered by his tattoos and they're so prominent against his skin, people barely pay attention to the scars.

💔 Or if tattoos aren't your thing, he'll try to research for herbs and plants which might be able to help with making the mark less prominent. And he would try to experiment with his devil fruit power to see if it could help with his endeavors.

💝 If you don't really care or think too much about it now however, he also wouldn't care too much. Bodies are just bodies to him.

Generally he doesn't seem bothered by it. But with you having a traumatic past, he'll subconsciously feel more comfortable sharing his past with you when the time comes.

Kid

His first reaction is anger, because Kid hates to see you hurt and the brand insinuates that you've been hurt before. He's seen the Celestial Dragons, he knows they're the worst kind of scum that walks on this planet.

💔 He's bad at comforting people so if you're sad about it, at first he wouldn't really know what to do.

💔 Other than the brand, if you have any scars or some sort of permanent physical/mental effect that was caused by your enslavement, Kid will try to be more careful when touching the subject.

💝 However, if you feel indifferent or even proud about it? He'll be twice as proud.

💝 He's the type that wears his scars with pride. It's a symbol of adversity, proof that you're a survivor, that you're resilient and brave and strong, and so he believes you should flaunt it like a peacock.

Wouldn't think twice and lash out at people who look down on you because of the mark. Better hold him back if you don't want innocent civilians getting punched by a metal arm... Then again, if they look down on you because of the brand, maybe they deserved it?

The only reason he hadn't attacked a Celestial Dragon so far was because they didn't mess with him or his people personally, so you better bet if they see your mark and try to get their hands on you, he'll land a punch or two. Or get some sharp shrapnel of metal so he can pay back what they owe you. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, right?

[kkoumiii]

1000 followers + PAC!!

- Thank you so so so so much for the 1000 followers!! I’m so thankful to each one of you. When I joined Tumblr, it was only to learn more about astrology, and at this time, I would have never thought about starting my own account and getting 1000 followers someday! You’re all wonderful, bless you 💜 I send you a big and warm virtual hug 🧚‍♀️ -

Here is a small gift for you, I decided to make my first pick a card reading! I don’t know if it will be good, but I decided to give it a shot. So let me tell you why you’re all fabulous in your own way!

Take a deep breath, ask yourself why you’re fabulous and pick intuitively your pile’s number or look at the image that resonates with you the most.

Without further ado, let’s get right into it!

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 1 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 2

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 3 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 4

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 5 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 6

/!\ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇs ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴍɪɴᴇ /!\

PILE 1

Hello my dear pile 1! How radiant and lively you are. You truly are a ball of joy and energy. You have this love of life and optimism that makes your energy so appealing. You’re like a breath of fresh air. You have a way of perceiving things that is very refreshing and gives hope. You look ahead but you always seize the moment. You just go with the flow and trust the process rather than focusing on the outcome. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have any worries, but you try to detach yourself from all these unnecessary concerns and focus on things that are worth your attention. You know who deserves your time and energy, but you’re still so generous and altruist with everyone. You have a lot to offer, and some people might try to take advantage of you for it, but it seems like you have a lucky star that protects you. It feels like you always have some kinds of chance when it comes to new opportunities, because your energy attracts prosperity and abundance. Your intuition seems to also guide you to choose the good opportunities and the good person. This helps you establish contacts around you that will eventually help you when you need it. You also have a big and very good sense of humor. When someone is feeling bad, you’re the type of person to cheer them up, make them laugh, and take their mind off their concerns. You’re remembered for the good vibes you exude and as a result, many people want to return the favor. I also feel like you’re very sensitive to the energies surrounding you, and that might be why you try to provide such a bright environment. You need to surround yourself with light, so you create it yourself. Beware of energetic vampires. In conclusion, you have a lot of wisdom owing to your perception of life and even when things get hard, you pick yourself up quickly thanks to your undaunted nature.

⊱ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵏᵒⁱ ᶜᵃʳᵖ | ʷᵃˣⁱⁿᵍ ᶜʳᵉˢᶜᵉⁿᵗ ᵐᵒᵒⁿ | ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵘⁿ | 6 ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ ⊰

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ☆ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

PILE 2

Hello my lovely pile 2! You’re resilient and don’t remain stuck in the past. You are very focused on your goals and your ambition makes you want to go far in life. Even when you’re going through difficult periods, you get back on your feet and fight for what you want. Your hard-working and stubborn nature pushes you to do your utmost and make lots of sacrifice in order to achieve your goals. You might tend to lose yourself in your work and whenever it’s getting harder, you think about your objectives and motivations. You’re also very disciplined, aren’t you? But you know, it’s important to take some breaks and enjoy life the way it is sometimes. You’re admired for your strong work ethic and people can rely on you since you seem to always have something new in store, and you easily find solutions. I sense a creative and innovative side from you. You don’t let people get in your way and you don’t hesitate to face obstacles. You use failures as lessons that help you grow. But I think this serious facade hides a big child at heart, curious and smart, who still needs to figure out life and discover the world. You tend to focus on the future so as to not feel overwhelmed with the current hardships. You like to believe that there’s always something bright ahead and that you’re the one that can change the course of events. You always strive for improving yourself, discovering and creating new things, you don't rest on your laurels. Your security lies in the fact that you are the master of your life.

⊱ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒᵒᵈᶜᵒᶜᵏ | ⁿᵉʷ ᵐᵒᵒⁿ ⁱⁿ ᵗᵃᵘʳᵘˢ | 8 ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 3 ᵒᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵈˢ ⊰

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ☆ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

PILE 3

Hi my beautiful pile 3! You’re the most seductive and clever pile for sure. You always find your way out of tricky situations. You’re someone likeable and you easily put people at ease. However, I also see that you like teasing everyone a lot and you might be a bit of a flirtatious person. You know exactly what to say at the perfect moment. There’s something reassuring about you because you’re honest and people know what to expect from you. You say things the way they are and that’s why people like to come to you to get your opinion. You also know when to seize opportunities and how to turn them to your advantage. Your opportunist nature allows you to see opportunities where people don’t generally see them. You seem to be intrigued by others’ nature and motives, you’re very observant and it helps you better grasp people’s true intents. You know what to expect from them and it allows you to act accordingly. But it doesn’t mean you will mold into what is expected from you, you’re still authentic, you know what you want and you won’t let people walk all over you. You truly are someone perceptive, you see beyond the words, beyond the guises, you can easily interpret the finest details. If someone isn’t comfortable, you will feel it, you can quickly detect the unsaid things without the other one knowing it. And that can make you a bit scary from time to time. You see people’s deepest nature, not only what’s on the surface. You have a certain level of social and emotional intelligence though for the latter, I don’t feel like you’re overly empathetic. There’s a side of you that is guarding against tricky situations that can turn against you. You don’t want to create conflicts, but you have this secretive nature that draws both admiration and jealousy

⊱ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵒˣ | ⁿᵉʷ ᵐᵒᵒⁿ ⁱⁿ ᵍᵉᵐⁱⁿⁱ | ᵠᵘᵉᵉⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 5 ᵒᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵈˢ ⊰

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ☆ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

PILE 4

Hi my wonderful pile 4! From all the piles, you’re definitely the leader. You’ve got plenty of energy, determination, strength, and a strong work ethic. You know how to complete your tasks in accordance with professional standards, and you also know how to reunite people and collaborate with them. Since you’re very much aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you can easily detect them in others. You help others use their capacities to their fullest, you give them strength and self-confidence. You’re self-assured and no one can change your mind when it comes to your capacities. You have some expectations but you don’t ask for too much. You know you’re the first person you can count on, so you don’t want to rely too much on others. But it doesn’t bother you if people lean on you, you’re used to be a rock for others and many admire you for that. Is this because of your pride? You’re resourceful and knowledgeable, and this helps you move forward. You rarely lack inspiration, you know how to complete the ‘last missing piece’ and you quickly find solutions. You truly have a lot of charisma and a strength of will that motivates people around you. You know where you’re heading, and you’re determined. You still have to learn how to delegate your work even though you can take on a massive amount of work. Sometimes, people may wonder where you find all this energy, and they may have a hard time following you. But your work seems truly important to you, you always want to improve your skills. You have strong values but you have a lot to learn yet. Hopefully, you’re curious, open-minded and opportunist. I can sense a certain modesty, you know when it’s time to be in the spotlight or keep a low profile, and you recognize your mistakes.

⊱ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃⁿᵗ | ᶠᵘˡˡ ᵐᵒᵒⁿ ⁱⁿ ᵃʳⁱᵉˢ | ᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ | ᵏⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉⁿᵗᵃᶜˡᵉˢ ⊰

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ☆ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

PILE 5

Hey my sweet pile 5! From the energy I’m getting, you’re sensitive and you effortlessly put yourself into others’ shoes. You’re really empathetic and you absorb all the energies surrounding you. You also adapt to your environment quite easily, it helps you better apprehend the situations and the people you’re surrounded with. You try your best to put people at ease by creating a safe place for them and showing them that they can trust you. Sometimes, it can lead you to merge into what people are expecting from you. But even if you adapt yourself to this extreme, your true colors always come out in a way or another, your authenticity is always visible. You have a lot of imagination thus a lot of creativity. You’re so lively and gentle! You’re also a romantic and devoted person, you bend over backwards for the people you hold close to your heart. Once you’re committed, whatever the relationship, you give your all for this person. It’s a bit all or nothing with you, you can’t help it. Each new experience, each new meeting transforms you as a person. You know that nothing is set in stone therefore, you’re open to new opinions and perceptions. You have strong values that cannot be swayed, yet your opinions are heavily influenced by everything you hear around you. I don’t mean that you’re impressionable, I’d rather say that your keep an open mind and you listen to what people have to say. I also feel like you have a lot of depth within you, you feel everything intensely and you have a very rich inner world. You’re constantly reinventing yourself and you go through many cycles in your life (Scorpio/Aquarius/Neptunian energy?). This is a message apart from this reading but something new is coming your way, maybe a significative meeting, you need to remain hopeful.

⊱ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᵃᵐᵉˡᵉᵒⁿ | ⁿᵉʷ ᵐᵒᵒⁿ | 2 ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 10 ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ ⊰

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ☆ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

PILE 6

Hey my splendid pile 6! You have a strong personality and you don’t let anyone get in your way. I feel like you’re a bit distrustful, but you know how to discern deceit. You may not have many people around you but it’s only because you choose to surround yourself with trustworthy people. You have definite opinions and you easily take decisions. You know how to keep a cool head no matter the situation and no one can sway you. You might appear aloof but it’s only because you know what you’re up to and you don’t trust easily. You might have been through many deceptions and hardships throughout your life that shaped partly the person you are today, but you’re also resilient and you handle well crisis situations. Deep down, you just want to protect your heart and find the right person for you. I don’t think you’re predictable but you’re a calculating person, more in a sense that you plan everything ahead and that you’re detail oriented. Other people cannot easily take advantage of you. Even though you’ve faced many difficulties, you don’t see only doom and gloom, you manage to take different points of view and learn lessons from your hardships. You only created a shell so as to protect yourself, and you don’t let yourself being overwhelmed by troublesome events. You’re also individualistic, you are your first priority (which is good, since I feel like you’ve been too focused on others in the past). You handle things by your own, you don’t rely on other people. You’re well-organized, meticulous, strategic, observant… You may have a very good instinct, for example if you see someone for the first time and you don’t get a good vibe from them, you won’t know how to explain it since it’s just a vibe, but you will eventually find out that you were right. You’re far from being provocative and if someone tries to do you wrong, life will take charge of them.

⊱ ˢᵖⁱʳⁱᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᵘˡᵗᵘʳᵉ | ᵗʰⁱʳᵈ ᵠᵘᵃʳᵗᵉʳ ᵐᵒᵒⁿ | 7 ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ | 5 ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ ⊰

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ☆ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

That's all I have for you, I hope you will enjoy it. Don't hesitate to tell me if it resonated or not since I don't know if I should actively start to do pac readings. Thank you once again, you're all wonderful people and you deserve the best out of life 🫂💙

[labelma]

all the pain of yesterday

Read on Ao3

When the call comes, it’s a surprise. 

Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it is. 

“Hello, is this Fiona Gallagher?” 

Somehow, Fiona just knows. She doesn’t know how or why, but...

“Yes this is her.” 

The woman’s voice is soft, but clear, there’s quiet murmur in the background, it reminds Fiona of every time she got a call from the police station, the hospital, the school. For a moment, she feels like she’s 21 again, scared, alone, at her wit’s end, trying to hold everything together, scraping by with the skin of her teeth, always one wrong step from a catastrophe. 

There is a split second of silence where Fiona knows this is it. Whatever the woman has to say- there’s no going back from it, as soon as the silence breaks. And it does. 

“This is Brenda at Kindred Hospital South, your father Frank Gallagher was brought in experiencing hypoxia, disorientation and a high fever,” 

This is it 

“We regret to inform you that we did-“ 

This is how it happens

“Everything we could-“ 

Fiona’s blood runs cold, 

“But your father passed away this evening at 8:46 from complications due to Covid-19.” 

She knew it was coming. They all did. Frank had been dancing with death for years, how he had even managed to hold on for so long was beyond her. 

It seemed that Frank’s luck had finally run dry. 

“Would you like to make arrangements? If not we would be happy to help…” 

Fiona isn’t listening. She tells the nurse to do whatever they need to do before hanging up. 

She surprises herself when she feels tears prick the corners of her eyes, and she clenches her jaw. They won’t fall. She won’t cry over Frank. Not anymore. Not ever. 

She takes a moment for herself, a moment to breath, a moment to consider the fact that she’s now lost both her parents, even if she lost them both years ago to drugs, to the bottle, to insanity. 

She takes the briefest moment to grieve what could have been before stopping herself. 

What’s done is done. 

Her parents made their decisions, and she made hers. 

Fiona thinks that at least now Frank and Monica will get to make each other miserable for eternity while they’re burning in the deepest pits of hell. 

Or was it freezing? 

Fiona never paid much attention in church anyway, on those rare occasions they went, usually to sneak bills from the collections plate. 

Phone in her hand, screen still on from the phone call, Fiona realizes she doesn’t know what the next steps are. 

Her instinct is to hop on the L, deal with the situation as it comes, never planning, never even able to plan because of the speed at which things fell apart. Her instinct is to go grab Frank from whatever shithole situation he got himself in, and slap some sense into him. 

But obviously, Fiona couldn’t hop on the L, she was standing in the middle of the street in Chula Vista, California. Gone were the days of running into burning buildings with no forethought. Fiona had her life together. She had a serious job. She wasn’t busy juggling teens and pre-teens anymore. 

And of course, there was no Frank to slap sense into anymore. 

An odd pang twisted Fiona’s stomach at the thought. 

She’s brought back to the presence when someone stumbles into her from behind, 

“Perdóneme,” 

The woman doesn’t look much older than she is, and she’s busy pushing a stroller with one hand, pulling a toddler along with the other. 

Fiona sighs. 

It’s time to face the music. 

She calls her kids. 

<hr>

Arrangements are made. Fiona honestly has very little say in them. 

Frank wanted to be cremated, his family didn’t give nearly a big enough shit to make it fancy. 

He had no possessions of value, nothing to give to his kids other than stained furniture, empty bottles, and trauma.

Really, Fiona is coming back for Liam. 

Fiona was the guinea pig. The oldest daughter, the one who had no one except a wino father and batshit crazy mother to look after her. 

Lip and Ian, born so close together, both so resilient, but still so so young when they first learned the hard way of Frank’s negligence. 

Debbie and Carl, young enough to remember the times before Fiona dropped out of high school and made being a mother to her siblings a full time job. Old enough to remember all the times Frank stole their money, ruined their creations, hurt their very fragile childish feelings. 

But Liam? 

Liam never lived in a world where he had to be raised by Frank of Monica Gallagher. 

And Fiona knows that she wasn’t the best guardian either. She knows that she abandoned him, even though she was the only mother he’d ever known. She knows that she’s done worse things. 

But even when she fucked up, Lip was there to pick it up. And Ian behind him. And now Debbie and Carl are adults too. Liam would be just fine without her in the long run. 

But still. Liam had the good fortune to be born last, young enough to be raised by his siblings, to never feel the sting of abuse and neglect the way the oldest five always had. 

And Frank had always loved Liam, loved him so much. Liam was so kind, maybe even too kind. He loved Frank back, even though they all knew Frank was not deserving of such care from his youngest son. 

So Fiona knew, knew it like she knew herself, that Liam, of all the Gallaghers, was going to be the most devastated. 

And well, she missed her other kids too. 

She hadn’t seen Franny far too long, hadn’t even met Fred. She missed Ian’s wedding, Carl’s graduation from the academy. 

She’d stayed up to date of course, speaking with her siblings on the phone, FaceTiming to see her nieces and nephews, but she knew what it was like in Chicago. If you weren’t there you may as well not exist. 

Fiona liked it that way. 

When her plane had arrived at the San Diego International Airport all those years ago, she almost had a panic attack, nearly booked the next flight back to Chicago. 

It had gotten easier with time. 

For her entire life she’d been so tied to the little house on Wallace, she didn’t know who she was without it. 

It was time to find out. 

And she did. 

She did find out, she found out what she was capable of, she found out how successful she could be, she found out who she was without living her life for her siblings. 

Not that she would ever hold it against them but… She did what she could. It was time for her to live her own life now. 

And for those very reasons, she was terrified of going back to Chicago. 

She was terrified that all the progress, everything she built, all that she’d become, was nothing more than smoke and mist, ready to blow away the minute she arrived in the Windy City. 

Which is why she never visited when Fred was born, or considered flying in to meet him. 

Which is why when she received the surprisingly tasteful wedding invitation to Ian and Mickey Milkovich’s wedding, she regretfully declined. 

She was so scared. 

So scared she would go back and never be able to leave again. 

But some of the fear had worn off over the months. 

Her new life felt less like smoke, and more like a healthy young tree, still growing, but strong enough to weather a storm. 

It was time to return. 

<hr> 

The plane ride feels oddly unceremonious for how anxious Fiona feels. 

She watches as the Southern California coast line disappears from sight as the plane flies eastward, and wonders how she’ll be received when she arrives. 

She doesn’t tell the kids she’s coming for a visit, worried they’ll make a big deal out of it, or worse, do nothing at all. 

Chicago is exactly like she remembers it, and yet nothing like it used to be. Still dirty, windy, freezing, especially after her years spent in the San Diegan sun, but dotted with new boutiques, nicer buildings, fences that don’t look like they’re about to crumble into a pile of dust. 

She has to fight to control her breathing in the Uber back to the old Gallagher house. 

The sight of the sun setting over the familiar buildings of the South Side makes her feel something unidentifiable. 

The house looks much the same as always, if not just a bit nicer due to Lip’s efforts to fix it up. 

She hesitates for just a moment at the front door before turning the handle and walking in, refusing to give in to her doubts. 

The TV is on, as usual. Debbie sits texting on the couch while Franny, much bigger than the last time Fiona saw her lounges on the couch engrossed in the colorful TV show, Carl next to her, also engrossed in the show. 

She hears banging in the kitchen, and she walks towards it to find Lip hammering at the shelving unit, Tami preoccupied with hushing Fred, while Ian and Mickey sit at the kitchen table passing a beer back and forth, talking quietly. 

Fiona is only a little surprised that she hasn’t been noticed yet. She’s quieter than she used to be, and each one of her siblings seems to be in their own little worlds. 

It’s Liam who sees her first as he walks down the stairs, eyes red, looking tired, though his face lights up as soon as his eyes fall on her. 

“Fiona!” 

He runs into her arms, and the tears Fiona has been managing to hold back for days finally fall. She holds her youngest brother, and breathes in the familiar smell of his hair. 

Liam’s shout alerts the rest of the family to her presence, and for a few minutes Fiona is wrapped in hug after hug, feeling laughter bubbling up in her chest. 

It strikes her that even after so long away, she can still read her siblings like a book. 

Lip is tense, she can feel it in the way he hugs her, in the hard set of his features, though Tami seems happy enough. 

Carl and Debbie are both distracted, though the days where she could tell what kind of things they’d be distracted by are long gone. 

Ian looks lighter, happier than she’s ever seen him, and for the smallest moment, she worries that Frank’s death may have thrown him into a manic episode before she notices the way Mickey has his hand firmly planted on his shoulder, and though Fiona was never quite able to trust him in the past, she thinks she does now. 

She holds Franny against her hip, marveling at how heavy she is, while Liam entwines his fingers with hers. 

Fiona gets the sense that she’s missed so much, and yet nothing at all, everyone falling into their familiar roles. 

They settle in with coffee to catch up, Fiona hanging on every word, desperate to soak up everything she’s missed. 

Lip decided not to sell the house in the end, figuring that the value in owning property was worth more than a quick payout which would disappear quicker that you’d think. 

With Ian and Mickey in a new apartment and Frank… gone, the house was quieter, less crowded, a better place to raise two kids, at least until Lip and Tami could afford to move out. 

Debbie had sworn off dating, saying she was sick of dating psycho chicks. Fiona laughs along with her and agrees, dating hasn’t been so kind to her either, but she suspects that Debbie will change her tune when the next person willing to go down on her comes along. She shares that same trait with Debbie, something she’s been trying to work on as she gets older and realizes how fucked up her habits and coping mechanisms are. 

Liam is grieving, and Fiona’s heart aches for him. She cups her hands around his sallow cheeks and as she kisses his face and celebrates when he brushes her off, an embarrassed smile turning up his lips. She knows this is hard on him, Liam being the only Gallagher who truly still cared for Frank in more than just an offhand obligatory way. But she also knows that the hurt will wear off eventually as grief tends to do. Liam is young still, with so so much potential and such a bright future ahead of him. She’s not worried, even if she feels bad for leaving him. 

She tells Liam that before she leaves she’s going to help get him into a good private school. 

He deserves the opportunities none of his older siblings ever had. 

Carl is still Carl, even if he’s trying to be a fine upstanding citizen. Still, she’s so proud he really seems to have made something of himself, even landing a stable union job. 

Ian is happy, so happy, and Fiona lets his infectious joy wash over her. There was a time when Fiona worried for him. Worried he was doomed like Monica. She knew that stats, knew how hard it was for people with bipolar disorder to manage stable relationships, knew the Gallagher history was full of divorces and scorned exes, many of them hers, even without the added bonus of mental illness. When Ian was arrested and sentenced to three to five years in prison, she thought that was the end of any hope he had for a happy ending. 

She’s glad she was wrong. 

She can’t say she’s surprised by the reappearance of Mickey Milkovich in their lives, Mexico and prison be damned. Fiona doubted many things about Mickey, doubted his trustworthiness, doubted his intentions, doubted his stability, and all for good reason in her opinion. But one thing she never doubted was his love for her brother. Well, maybe there were times she doubted it a little, but she’s a cynical person. 

She thinks that Ian and Mickey have the best relationship of any of the Gallaghers, a reality she would have laughed at 5 years ago, but it’s true. 

She hopes that one day she can replicate their success, but she isn’t counting on it. 

Right now she’s just working on learning to accept herself, and all her flaws. 

It’s a process, but she’s getting there. 

<hr> 

Ultimately they decide not to hold a real funeral for Frank, not caring enough to plan one, and thinking Frank probably wouldn’t even want one. 

Instead they congregate in the alley, joined by Kev and V as well as Tommy and Kermit, behind The Alibi to dump his ashes. 

They aren’t so ceremonial, though Liam, with tears on his face does insist on saying a few words. 

The whole ordeal takes no more than ten minutes, and when it’s over, Fiona feels like she can finally breathe. 

Her entire life she was burdened with being her father’s daughter, living under his metaphorical shadow, even when she moved as far away as she could. 

He haunted her every time she had a beer, every time she felt guilt creep in for leaving, every time she felt close to snapping at her new job. 

But now Fiona thinks she can finally let it go, let Frank go, along with all her demons. 

The flight back to feels shorter, or maybe Fiona just feels lighter. Somewhere along the way she stopped seeing Chicago as home, and finds herself eager for San Diego with its sun, beaches, and mountains. Her new home is her little apartment in Chula Vista, so close to Mexico she can cross the border whenever she wants, with her new friends, a new job, and a tan for the first time in her life. 

She isn’t worried about her siblings. Lip is building a life for his new family, Ian is happily married to the love of his life, Debbie is learning and growing, trying to be a good mom to her daughter, Carl has a stable job he loves despite all odds, and Liam is the smartest and most resourceful of all of them. 

They’re going to be just fine. 

And so will she.

[willowistic22]

ok im gonna say it, what taylor swift song is romeo besides love story

Haha was waiting for this one actually. Can’t believe I can’t use love story grr. but yeah i get it. though plsss gimmie the chance to add a little bit of love story? I just love that song yknow. And jfc when I say ‘love’ it doesn’t always mean the romantic kind, aight? N e wayyys lesgo !

Love story. Pretty self explanatory actually. ‘We were both young when I first saw you’ I feel that him being a hopeless romantic started pretty young. He was young dumb but in love and that’s basically how he is when he’s in love. He loves the feeling when he first falls in love, when a love is still young. You don’t really know what you’re doing but you still act like you are because you can’t help it. Romeo mostly embrace the the whole being young and in love just because he loves the feeling and believes that PDA isn’t as bad as ppl might think. Well, not entirely but just enough yknow.

Invisible String. The song is basically the soulmate trope in a song form. And he does believes in soulmates. Let me crack into the... angsty stuff heheh >:). He has a long history of loving himself and sometimes doubt that there are ppl out there that would actually like him yknow. So he pretends there’s like this invisible string that connects him to others. Like destined to meet these few certain ppl. That’s what has kept him afloat all this time. Not many ppl would know it but it’s the truth.

Wonderland. ‘Didn't they tell us don't rush into things?’ and also ‘We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it’ Now this one is more towards his mentality in stuff. Sometimes when he’s clouded with love (romance or otherwise, take your pick) he gets too easily excited like ‘woah!!! someone likes me!!!’ and goes a bit too quickly. Many ppl were scared off by how clingy this kid can get. Romeo has learned to calm himself yknow, but sometimes he gets too lost and forgets all about it. The second one is mostly because, in plain simple words, he thinks the world is full of shit. His mental health has been hit hard and some days just seem so plain and boring and he’s tired and he didn’t even know why he got up that morning. Sometimes he closes his eyes to pretend he’s somewhere he wants to be. Where he’s wanted and it’s acceptable to cling on ppl. Where he’s not tired and the world around him is in fact wonderful to be in.

Blank Space. Some ppl will describe him of having an endless list of ppl he was once associated with. Call it lovers, friends, whatever. Mostly they get scared bcs the more time they spent with Romeo, more of his true colors are being shown. Some impressions Romeo left them was ‘annoying’ ‘clingy’ and ‘too serious in stuff’. It’s only because Romeo just wants to find a connection. He likes stuff with meaning behind it. Not those meaningless relationships or small talk. He wants to find someone to give his all. Obv these ppl has shown him that when Romeo is proper and polite, just like the way he usually presents himself towards strangers, they like him but not when he’s being his passionate self and so they don’t deserve his heart. ‘Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane’ Lots of ppl misunderstands his passionate self as ‘crazy’. But that’s just how he feels his feelings. Whether he’s sad, happy, or angry. It’s all because he has all this passionate energy to use up. Now here’s the kicker: he doesn’t give up to find that connection. He knows he’ll most likely get his heart broken again but he’s resilient. 

Lover. Yes, yes, we’ve made it perfectly clear that he’s a hopeless romantic. But this song specifically resonates with him. ‘Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?’ Romeo never half asses anything when it comes to getting to know others. He will go out of his way to listen to your laughter and sorrows because he loves the human personality. He thinks it’s so complex and amazing. Sometimes in one conversation he can really get a lot of information from someone. ‘With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover’ After all that disappointment he is still determined to love. Like I said before he’s resilient when it comes to these things. ‘Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever?’ Once you got his love he will stick with you forever. This might be in a way calling him clingy and maybe he is. But that’s just how he shows his loyalty towards someone. And the rest of the song is basically what it’s like for Romeo to be in love and to be loved by Romeo. Beautiful and at peace, like you’re floating on clouds and everything in the world doesn’t matter anymore.

...Ready For It. Haha yes this sounds like a stretch but bare with me. ‘But if he’s a ghost, then I can be a phantom. Holding him for ransom, some’ I feel that despite the ‘bad impression’ he’s given ppl that left him, he did left some form a good mark on them too. Some have tried to insert themselves back in his life, realizing that maybe Romeo isn’t as bad as they thought he was. Of course, there are others that don't, which is always fine for Romeo’s end because he does understand that he’s ‘not for everyone’. ‘In the middle of the night, in my dreams. You should see the things we do, baby’ Despite his openness to love anyone, he does have his own standards. A vivid version of the kind of ppl he would like to share his heart with but he doesn’t over stretch himself to get them to like him other than maybe the usual meeting a person for the first time.

Don’t Blame Me. ‘Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right’ Let me tell you that when it comes to forming a connection/relationship, it really brings out Romeo’s true colors. And I’ve said before that that’s when ppl start leaving him bcs he doesn’t like his passion being executed in a lot of aspects of his other personality. He’s considered ‘crazy’ for that. ‘Lord, save me, my drug is my baby, I'd be using for the rest of my life’ But when it comes to connecting to the right ppl, he will shine and thrive. Maybe he’ll use this opportunity to finally be himself without fearing that these ppl will leave his as well. ‘For you, I would cross the line’ and then there’s the priceless loyalty towards those ppl that I've mentioned. Yeah, Romeo will do anything for the ppl he loves.

This Is Me Trying. It’s how I think Romeo in his low would look. I’ve mentioned before that his mental health sometimes hits very low that he can barely do anything. It looks more like everything that he does is so tiring and all he can do is just stay in bed. He wants someone to know that he’s trying his best to get up just to brush his teeth or get some food. He wants someone to know that he’s trying his best. As much as he wants to, he can’t get through a day like that all alone. He needs someone else to be the one telling him to do things because days like these are usually when Romeo can’t bare to listen to himself. A simple ‘I’m proud of you’ from someone else can be enough to get him to other things that seems difficult. But hey, he’s trying.

To quickly sum it up: Love story is how he views love to be (young, beautiful, yet stupid in the same way) and he proudly embraces it. Invisible String is how he believes in soulmates to cope with the disappointment he faces from ppl that don’t like his true colors. Wonderland is how he tends to get over excited when it comes to ppl that show any form of attention towards him that can be viewed as affection plus how he likes to pretend to be in a world where it’s okay for him to be clingy. Blank Space is how his passionate soul somehow turns him into a crazy person that can’t make a connection with others last. Lover is for how he feels/looks when Romeo does love. ...Ready For It is for how he leaves different kinds of marks on the people he had once connected in the past. Don’t Blame Me is for how the people he wants to connect to brings out his true colors and how he will thrive when the person he connects with is the right one. This Is Me Trying is how Romeo looks like when he’s in his lowest moment and needs someone to support him.

If this doesn’t make any sense then I’m sorry just ignore this pls:)

[scifi-music]

A virus that infected all music

G Hi Everybody, your one and only Greg Zeroin is here again. Today, I will bring you a story that will hit you like a ton of bricks. A scientist sits in my studio right now. We cannot even reveal the real name or the affiliation of my guest, right? So let us call him Dr. Stratton, okay?

S I certainly appreciate the confidentiality right now.

G So, Dr. Stratton could you tell us a couple of words about the problem you and your team were working on when that incident happened.

S Gladly. How do I begin? Me and my team, we’re neuroscientists and software engineers working on understanding and perhaps modifying the workings of the human mind. To make it a little more efficient. More flexible, more resilient and more intelligent. Our main interest is something that we call “deep neural processing”.

G Dr. Stratton, you need to educate us on these matters.

S Yes, yes. You know the human mind is a very complex system and under the right kind of circumstances it can be attentive of something in a rather superfluous way on the surface, while, at the same time it can be busy with something rather devotedly. And under these special circumstances we could say, just having fun, relax or engage in some careless and effortless activity, such as partying or listening to say, popular music and we may not even be aware that in the depth of our minds we’re in serious business, dealing with serious problems, learning new skills or taking in complex information about something.

G This already sounds rather science-fiction to me. Are you telling us that we can learn quantum mechanics while sipping cocktails by the pool? Solving math problems while dancing and fooling around with our friends all day?

S Well, hehe, something like that, yes. Now, you have to understand that our research is not yet in the implementation phase, we are looking at good examples and settings in which we can study these circumstances and understand how to bring them about.

G So what is a good example by which you study this phenomenon?

S Well, we have tried many scenarios without much success. Everyone on my team love music, and most of us play instruments as well. So, one day, as we were fuming about popular music...

G You don’t like pop music?

S Well, we don’t and that’s to put it mildly. Look, we have classical music, jazz, progressive rock and a bunch of other immensely interesting styles and an endless stream of goodness. A whole universe of first class creative and imaginative works. Yet, contemporary composers of this type are struggling to get noticed. At the same time auto tuned clowns imitate singing over some canned beat using the same four chord progressions and THAT sucks up nearly all the bandwidth on streaming services and also in the minds of young people. You know, I think we deserve more.

G People will listen to whatever feels okay to them. Do you see that as a problem?

S Well no… and yes. You see, in the last decade, when streaming services took over music distribution, we thought it was going to get better as people will have access to a much larger pool of music to choose from. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened. Profit hungry algorithms took over the job of people discussing and recommending things. A pyramid scheme of the worst kind took over music distribution. Anyway, long story short, things got worse, and with my team, we regularly discussed these matters and at some point, we started actively thinking about maybe doing something about it.

G To do something about… what exactly?

S It was just an idea at first. What if we could get people to listen to one kind of music on the surface and another music in the depths of their mind at the same time?

G Listening to two music at the same time?

S Yes, but the person would be aware of only one of them. Because the other music is superimposed on the soundwaves of the one that gets into their awareness. You know, music is basically frequencies, intensities and complexities. And we can relatively easily pack all that across and beyond the audible spectrum. That’s the easy part. The trick is to embed the hidden music in such a way that it will trigger deep neural processing reliably. If done the right way, then the person will think that they are listening to Justin Bieber or Ed Seheran…

G Sheeran.

S That’s right, my apologies. So, folks will experience, for all they can say, these pop tunes but in their minds are all busy with taking in Rachmaninoff, Scriabin, Coltrain or Braxton. And in a way that will enrich their connection to music in meaningful ways to the degree that eventually they will start looking actively for something like that, when they select what to listen to.

G Wow. It's like a kind of secret involuntary ear sharpening music education. But... is such a thing even possible?

S Yes, it is. Our initial results were very promising. For the people we tested it worked as expected. But as I said, we were in the early stages of development and we needed to run tests on as many people as we could. And then the covid pandemic hit the world and we quickly ran out of participants. We were way too excited about this project, we were so desperate to move on. So… we figured we could use a playlist on one of the major streaming services. Just one playlist that we loaded with some of these prepared tracks. We wanted to reach people from afar, so they don’t have to come to our laboratories. They can listen to that playlist from the comfort of their own home and we sent them a little device, a wearable measurement tool that would monitor their deep neural processing.

G This all sounds very interesting. But it is difficult not to notice some resentment in your voice. What happened?

S Well, we're still trying to get a hold on the situation. A young engineer in our team got a little too ambitious. She... ehrm..wanted to save some time and she wrote a computer macro in order to prepare all the songs in the playlist automatically. Let me get this straight. So, there’s the playlist with all these stupid pop songs.

G Excuse me?

S Apologies, this is just how we call them in the lab. For deep neural processing, she selected a piece of music. Just a piece that she wanted to use in the first round of remote experiments.

G What was that piece?

S Well it has no significance now, but okay, it was a piece from an obscure Hungarian composer, Palatinus. Huginn and Muninn was the title. You know, these are the names of those ravens in Norse mythology. These birds, you know, they serve Odin as eyes and ears and they can get everywhere in the world in one day… Anyway, instead of superimposing this piece of music onto every pop song on the playlist one by one, she wrote a macro that did it for her. You know, automatically.

G Okay?

S However, she forgot to make sure that the macro stops when it’s done with all the songs. As the first person started streaming from our playlist the macro got out to their other playlists and by the end of the day it infected all servers. To make it worse, the next day we detected the superimposed piece on other services too.

G Are you saying that…

S Yes.

G Every service? How many songs got superimposed with Huginn and Muninn?

S Well it is hard to say it for sure, you know, but it is safe to say that practically all of them.

G All songs?

S All songs on every major streaming service.

G Sweet. Jesus. So, while it was there, embedded, no matter what song people were listening to, they were deep-neural-processing this piece of music from this guy they never even heard of?

S Correct.

G So how long has this craziness lasted? And how did you get it off, I mean I assume you got it off somehow, right?

S Well... to tell you the truth…we... ehrm..

G Dr. Stratton, please don’t tell me that it’s still there. Please don’t tell me that… as a result of your godforsaken involuntary music education experiment, from now on anyone who tries to listen to anything on any service will deep-process Huginn and Muninn until the end of times!

S No, we did something to remedy the situation.

G My goodness, what did you do to remedy the situation?

S We could not get the modification off just like that. It got into the data structure of the songs too deeply. What we could do was masking its effect by superimposing something else instead. And, to be honest, by that time we were worried about the moral issues involved in all this involuntary music education thing too. Finally, we had the rebuilt macro to assign songs randomly to one another.

G Wha.. what do you mean? There’s no Huginn and Muninn embedded anymore to be deeply processed but is there something instead? A random song?

S Yes.

G Wait, so, right now, if I open Spotify or Deezer, or Tidal and listen to a song I will deep process some other song in the back of my mind?

S I am afraid, yes you will.

G And God only knows what music will be deep processed? ZZ Top, Ella Fitzgerald or Rudolf the red nose reindeer? Or Huginn and Muninn? Or even the exact song that I wanted to play?

S Well, there will be something embedded. And yes, there’s a non-zero chance that it will be any one of the songs you just mentioned. Except for the last one. The macro will not allow for a song to be embedded onto itself. Obviously, that was our first idea to solve the problem but a lot of people get severe headaches from that. It has to be something else.

G I am speechless. Dr Stratton, do you understand how embarrassing this little game of yours turned out for all of us? You had a rather questionable research idea and it got out of hand way before we had a chance to approve anything about it, and things just went downhill from there...

S Yes, Greg, I do understand the situation and I take full responsibility for everything that happened. I assure you that we have not finished with trying to return to how things were before. But while we’re at it, couldn’t you just relax and enjoy the certainty of getting exposed to a whole new range of music in a deep, meaningful way. I know, the unexpected happened but there’s a chance that it still has some beneficial effects on the population.

G Dr. Stratton, please tell me something. Are you sure that your marco, or shall I call it virus, assigns songs to be embedded in a truly random fashion? Or did you build in some kind of bias towards, you know, music that, according to your standards, is more worthy of young people’s attention?

S Look, Greg, that’s a wonderful idea. Not only the youth, but people of any age would most likely benefit from such a bias. You should come over to have a coffee with the team. We can always use talented people with interesting ideas.

G Well, thanks for the invitation, I may take you upon that one of these days Doc. But in the meantime, make sure you delete all your macros and gizmos from our music, alright?

S We’re on it, Greg.

G Ladies and gents, Dr. Stratton, the mad scientist that got a little too much of that mad science in our ears.

[sepublic]

One of the weird things about WiLW is that, despite everyone canceling Boscha and declaring Boschlow dead (even as a crackship), it kinda makes the best case so far for why it could be made to work. If that makes sense? Like it was my nOTP before, but I saw how both of their biggest flaws is the other's greatest strength. And a fiery odd-couple opposites-attract pair would be a good foil to the sweet pining soulmates that are Lumity. Their history gets in the way, but not insurmountably so.

           Now, this is an idea I hesitantly consider and tread upon, for obvious reasons… Boschlow was a fun crack ship back during the mid-season hiatus, as the only thing we saw Boscha do to Willow was mockingly call her out for not being invited to the Moonlight Conjuring, and that was about it. But then Understanding Willow revealed that Boscha had in fact been bullying Willow for quite a while, and clearly it left QUITE some damage on Willow’s psyche… And while Boscha’s bullying in WilW was implied to be more intense than her usual torment, that doesn’t change the fact that she literally dumped garbage on Willow! I’m not opposed to seeing the two reconcile… But clearly, Boscha owes all of the apologies here, and has a lot to make up for, and Willow would be justified in not wanting to ever contact the girl, ever again.

           Honestly, I don’t necessarily see Willow and Boscha as two sides of the same coin, like I do for Luz and Amity… The two of them are mostly just foils and contrasts to one another. Though, I AM always eager to hear others’ takes on the two, and how one might interpret Willow and Boscha as such! At the very least, I think Willow and Boscha, initially, had an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ principle to how they dealt with things that troubled them, to varying degrees… There’s Willow not wanting to dwell on her bad memories with Amity, which she does in a healthier sense than Boscha- Who will sometimes dismiss her issues about something, because the thing in question is actually just dumb and doesn’t matter anyway!

          But as we can see… Boscha doesn’t always entirely ignore things, either- She’ll dredge up drama and go out of her way to antagonize others like Willow, instead of simply ignoring her feelings on the matter and letting it be done! She’ll LET her displeasure be known, and while it’s good for Boscha to sometimes acknowledge her unhappiness, she unfortunately proceeds to deal with it in a less than constructive manner… I feel like an actually healthy relationship/dynamic between the two would also require Boscha to tone herself down quite a bit, even if she can still maintain that sense of fiery competitiveness and boldness that she’s always had.

          Likewise, while I think Willow has EVERYTHING to give and provide to Boscha, more on that later… I’m not sure there’s really anything meaningful that Boscha could give her, that others don’t already do and better? Boscha’s strength is artificial and toxic to herself and others. Superficially it might make Willow feel better initially, but in the long run Boscha’s ideals are harmful. Especially if she tries to imply to Willow that she’s ‘worthy’ specifically because of her prowess with Plant magic, and not regardless of it. But, I am liable to others’ takes and interpretations on the two!

           Personally, my read on Boscha is that she’s afraid. She doesn’t want to be a ‘loser’, she’s afraid of the potential loneliness and emotional turmoil that may come from that, and she thinks that losers ‘deserve’ their own pain, no less… So Boscha is actively trying to compensate for who she is, so she can ‘prove’ herself as better than that, both to her own personal concepts, and maybe to someone else…

           She also seems fixated on pain, in a sense- Her own, and causing retribution towards those who ‘hurt’ Boscha. There’s a quiet moment where Boscha is impressed by how mature Luz is, for taking all of the blame… And she briefly seems to reevaluate her stance on Luz, before stubbornly sticking to her previous dislike. It’s like Boscha felt actual sympathy for Luz in that moment, but then closed off any room for reconsidering who Luz was and respecting her. She doesn’t want to change her mind on ‘losers’ like Luz, because surely there was a good reason for hating and bullying people like that…

           Boscha doesn’t want to reconsider her stance on Luz, not let the girl get into her head and ‘infect’ her with weakness. She’s lowkey afraid of the kind of people that Luz and Willow are, or what she sees them as; And it’s why she’s so vehemently livid towards ‘losers’ like those two! And, I think Willow could be interesting for Boscha, because Willow was obviously who Boscha hated the most, or at least much longer, compared to others. She singled out Willow, almost like she was projecting her own insecurities onto the girl, that hurting Willow would be like gaining retribution upon the insecurities and flaws that Boscha saw in herself, and the girl.

           Going back to what I said about Boscha focusing on retribution, how she doesn’t seem willing to repair and heal over mistakes together, and would rather punish… I think Willow is someone who can teach Boscha how to forgive, withoutforgetting. And let’s be real here, can it even be said if Willow and Luz ACTUALLY hurt Boscha in a serious sense, and/or their actions weren’t justified, plus completely innocent? Not to mention, Boscha is ignoring that all of those other students chose to prioritize attention to Willow over Boscha? Aside from Boscha recognizing that a lot of her own pain came from herself and her own exaggerated reactions to Luz and Willow’s innocent actions…

           We saw how Willow dealt with pain, regarding Amity. I feel like she’s someone who can show Boscha how to deal with that sort of thing, how one can actually be mindful of the circumstances of what happened, and really take that into account, while considering one’s feelings and the source of those emotions. Clearly the situation was different, as Willow did nothing to deserve Amity’s rejection, while Boscha MORE than earned some negative karma on her own end… But you get the idea.

           Boscha needs to actually get over her apprehensions about ‘losers’ like Luz and Willow, before she can truly heal… Instead of just ignoring those feelings first and getting along, because that kind of friendship would then be superficial. Boscha changing her apprehensive stance on someone like Willow, especially, is important- Because to Boscha, Willow is emblematic and definitive of the kind of person she doesn’t want to be… Or at least, she’s the one closest to that definition, that Boscha can actively get away with tormenting.

           Changing her stance on Willow would show so much, how Boscha has learned to improve and open her mind to other people and their ways of living and existing, and feeling. Perhaps it would be THE final step/accomplishment, the ultimate proof of Boscha having changed… Not making the same mistakes, when presented the chance to. Willow is someone who can show Boscha that the kind of person that she doesn’t want to be… ISN’T so bad after all, that there’s nothing to be afraid of, you aren’t necessarily going to become that kind of person by being with them- And even if you do, it’s not so bad! It’d be incredibly relieving to Boscha, and I can see her being grateful to Willow…

           Likewise, I can see her admiring Willow- Boscha can now appreciate just how strong and vigilant Willow really is, and how inspiring the Park girl is to her. Willow proves to Boscha that the kind of person she is, isn’t just someone to accept- It’s the kind of person to learn and take cues from, to strive to be like! Boscha is going to be amazed at how strong Willow was, withstanding all those years of abuse when Boscha herself likely couldn’t even IMAGINE handling that… She’s going to show Boscha that there’s more than one way to be strong, and arguably, Willow’s way is better. Willow can show Boscha that you can be soft and open with others, while being even stronger and more resilient to pain, than the kind of person Boscha was…

           And, it can show Boscha how to truly defend herself. How to be strong in a way that REALLY matters, and then Boscha can feel safe in a real sense, VS barricading herself past several walls she’s built up, but otherwise never overcoming her fear and adversity. Really, I think Willow has WAY more to teach Boscha, rather than the other way around… While I’m all for people mutually teaching one another different things, it’s worth noting that Boscha was entirely in the wrong for bullying Willow, and that Willow was certainly not ‘guilty’ of anything that warranted this kind of torment whatsoever.

           Willow has definitely ‘outgrown’ Boscha and her destructive fire. And, considering what Boscha did to her… Like I said, Willow has a lot to offer Boscha. But Boscha isn’t owed that, Boscha has had an issue with thinking she’s owed reverence and glory for being ‘strong’, for having suffered and endured and used that pain to forge herself into a ‘superior’ kind of person… But in the end, Boscha needs to not be entitled, and realize that she’s no better nor worse than anyone else. And she can’t work to change this fact, either- It’s just how it is!

           Willow doesn’t owe Boscha anything. She’s not the girl’s caretaker, she’s not her savior unless Willow wants to be… Which leads me to the idea that to start, Boscha needs to just let Willow exist. She needs to be mindful of Willow’s existence, give the girl room to flourish and grow… And Boscha needs to apologize, with no expectations attached. Only by healing their relationship, and getting it to a point where Boscha won’t hurt Willow, nor does she expect anything from Willow because of this… Only then can Willow feel safe about teaching Boscha a thing or two on how to live, and even so, that’s entirely her choice. Boscha needs to prove that she’ll respect whatever decision Willow makes, even if it prioritizes Willow and/or others over Boscha herself. It’s not some personal insult towards Boscha, people have their own lives that don’t revolve around her, and they don’t owe the girl anything for being ‘better’ than them, not that Boscha actually is to begin with!

           This is, of course, all speculation- Most of which hinges entirely on my specific read and interpretation of Boscha and her character. Honestly, this could prove very wrong if we learn more about Boscha’s character, and I’d have to reevaluate how a relationship between her and Willow would work. But first and foremost, Boscha needs to respect Willow as her own person, and not just a potential girlfriend, nor as someone she should idolize, either… Willow doesn’t have to be ‘cool’ in Boscha’s eyes to gain her respect. And similarly, I can see Boscha getting close with Willow, but then trying to play up how cool she is to others, and maybe how cool Willow is… Because she wants to justify being with a ‘loser’ like Willow.

           And Willow will rightfully take offense at that. She’s going to tell Boscha to stop trying to act like Willow herself is so ‘lowly’ that Boscha needs to socially compensate for being friends with her. Willow herself, on her own, is perfect as-is, and Boscha doesn’t have to act like she isn’t- She needs to stop caring about appearances or the opinions and reverence of others, so much! Boscha needs to value her own opinion of herself, her own self-worth, without making it dependent on whether or not others fear/adulate her.

           It’s kind of like Amity or Lilith, in a sense- Where Boscha doesn’t believe in her own evaluation of herself nor trust it… So she looks to others as a judge, as a litmus test to decide if she’s ‘worthy’ or lovable and whatnot. Boscha looks to how others reverentially regard her in order to decide if she’s good enough, instead of just looking at the mirror and deciding that if Boscha is happy- Then she IS good enough! All that should be required is for Boscha to be happy and content with herself. Her own opinion of herself DOES have value, believe it or not… And that’s something Willow herself learned, too, though unlike Boscha she didn’t try to cope with feeling ‘unworthy’, by hurting others- Instead Willow just ‘accepted’ this alleged lowliness of herself before Luz pointed out otherwise, that Willow was never unworthy to begin with!

           So, yeah- Boscha needs to stop being afraid of the kind of person that Willow is. She needs to see that people like Willow and Luz are perfectly valid as-is, that there is no hierarchy where a certain type of person is better or worse than others. Boscha needs to trust in her own opinion and self-confidence in herself, and not be so reliant on what others have to say. She needs to stop being entitled to power and adulation, even if Boscha went through the effort to ‘earn’ it… Because nobody agreed to compensate Boscha in the first place. It’s like working so hard to give someone gifts without them even asking, and then expecting to be rewarded. Boscha needs to be mindful of others and their existence, and see it as not that bad anway… And that it’s okay to be like others. Boscha can still hold onto her own identity, and remember her own feelings while still working past them.

           Honestly, this could be but the tip of the iceberg, regarding the many issues that Boscha has, and how Willow could help her. On the flipside, I can see Boscha being the kind of person to mercilessly give Willow encouragement… And tell Willow that yes, Willow IS strong, and she did earn the right to be beloved by others! But again, this ties back into the idea of love being conditional, which seems contradictory to what this show has to say. Like I said, Willow has so much more to teach Boscha, and it’s up to her to decide if she wants to- And even so, Boscha needs to recognize that her existence isn’t exactly reliant on whatever decision that Willow makes, either.

          Really, I’m not at all against seeing Boscha’s character be explored and given depth, maybe even reformed for her own sake? I guess I’m a forgive and forget type of guy. I’m willing to forgive Lilith, who cursed her own sister, and was also Head Witch of the Emperor’s Coven- So she hurt a lot of other people BESIDES Eda, and that’s something Lilith herself and some people in the fandom need to recognize more. And I feel like government persecution is worse than bullying, not to say the latter isn’t bad either- If anything, bullying already being bad, as-is, just says a lot more about how terrible persecution is by being worse!

           And me, I’m willing to consider motives and introspection for freaking Belos, who committed genocide upon wild witches just for existing, and set up the toxic coven system and environment that contributed to Boscha’s own toxicity in the first place. I guess for some, Boscha’s bullying hits closer to home than Belos’ persecution of people, hence why they’re justifiably angrier at her particularly. Those feelings are absolutely valid… Unfortunately, recent events have led to government persecution becoming a lot more relatable as well. Which, gets me to my point that if I can consider Belos’ side of the story, I can at least do the same for Boscha. Not to mention, it’s worth noting that Lilith and Belos are fully-grown adults, but Boscha is still a kid- So she’s got room to improve and change people, let’s remember that amidst still holding her accountable!

[letsbeoutoftouch]

Three days ago, I decided to start watching one of the Chinese dramas that had been sitting on my Netflix to-watch list for as long as I use it: 'A Love So Beautiful'.

I was (am) really excited over the Korean version because the FL is So Joo Yeon, whom I love since I watched 'Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim 2' last year―she's adorable!

However, I knew that the Korean version was a remake, so I figured I should start with the Chinese one first. Besides, a few years ago one of my ex-friends told me I should watch it, and she has a pretty good taste in dramas... So, well―I succumbed. And, oh my! I'm so glad I did!

· · ·

'A Love So Beautiful' is a coming of age drama, which depicts the lives of five friends as from the moment they meet in high school up to adulthood, and how they learn about love, friendship and life in general. It especially revolves around Chen Xiaoxi (Shen Yue, from 'Meteor Garden') and Jiang Chen (Hu Yi Tian, from 'Unrequited Love').

· · ·

♡ PLOT & EPISODES:

It is a really light-hearted drama, and its plot is uncomplicated. It is ideal for when you are in the mood for something that doesn't have twists and turns, and/or whose plot doesn't require a great effort to follow. If you feel like watching a drama like that, then I really recommend you to start this one.

Although it's made up of 23 episodes (and one special episode), they are approximately 40-minutes long each. Therefore, I didn't feel that they were tiresome to watch. Also, as a person who gets distracted quite easily ―I have the attention span of a goldfish―, I must emphasise that I didnt pause it at all―except, maybe, to go and grab some snacks... And to post that screenshot with a reference to Argentina, lol.

· · ·

♡ CHARACTERS:

Xiaoxi (FL): This character is a well-known one in dramaland―the typical female lead who is really (and when I say really, I mean extremely, blindly) in love with the male lead, no matter his actions or the words that leave his mouth.

I normally find this type of character annoying (yes, I'm looking at you, Nao). I find it painful to watch that she keeps resiliently following the male lead, even when he is continuously humilliating her. Of course, if you keep in mind that she is a teenager, then you may be able to understand the way she behaves―we were all a little bit like that during our younger years... Or, at least, I know I was. However, that's hard to remember when the story depicts her to be neither a teenager nor an adult, although she is supposed to be the former. By this I don't mean that teenagers can't go through situations that may force them to 'grow up' quickly, but stuff like 'living alone with my classmate' is not a normal situation for a teen (especially, with their parents consent ¿¿¿¿¿)―that's more adult-ish.

Anyways, back to Xiaoxi.

When I think about my younger self, I think she might ―in some points― relate to Xiaoxi. Why? That's simple―because she truly acts like a teenager. For her, the problems she faces are like the end of the world, and deals with them as (most) young people would.

Amongst those problems, love is obviously included. She's devoted to the love she feels, and doesn't waver. She's always true to her feelings and to her heart―sometimes, a little too much for my liking. However, her genuiness and stubborness are two of the traits I liked the most about her.

But Xiaoxi is not entirely naïve―not all the time, at least. She stood her ground in some parts of the story, as a teenager and, mostly, as an adult. I must admit that one kick was amazing―I was lying in bed and I literally had to sit up and scream 'APLICADÍSIMA' (an Argentinian slang that, in this context, could be translated as 'nicely done').

▫ ▫ ▫

Jiang Chen (ML): Yet another typical character in dramas. He's one of those guys who barely speaks, looks serious 24/7 and, the most important thing, has feelings but is unable to show them most of the time.

I'm not going to deny that people like that do exist in real life (now that I think about it, I may be like that irl, lol), but the real problem is how they are portrayed in dramas. I mean, the fact that a person gathers all those characteristics within them does not equal to being an a*shole (again, I'm so looking at you, Uehara).

Jian Chen sometimes acts like an a*shole, I'm not going to deny that. He mostly acts like that out of jealousy, which doesn't make it right. However, he's continuously growing out of that behaviour (maybe not so much out of jealousy 🙃), and that's what I liked about this character. Even if his character doesn't entirely lose his true essence (being serious is not a bad trait per se, just to name something), it was refreshing to see that, when he's with her, he wouldn't act like he doesn't care about her at all.

▫ ▫ ▫

Wu Bosong (SML): Oh, dear. He's the sweetest. For real.

I'm not the kind of person who usually falls for the second male lead (for example, in Heirs I was always team Kim Tan, although everyone loved Young Do and shipped Eun Sang with him). However, this time, I found myself falling for Bosong really, really hard.

His character is yet another cliché―the sweet boy who's always helping the FL and has to be content with watching her from the sidelines. However, his kind and tender nature slowly captured my heart.

*spoiler alert* It broke my soul that the story was unfair to him―he deserved way better. Not only romantically speaking―all the scenes where his grandma doesn't recognise him were so, so heartbreaking. I know life isn't fair, but it is a drama! Don't make the poor boy suffer that much 😭.

However, even though I loved this character a lot, I ―by no means― shipped him and Xiaoxi. He deserved someone who would give him their entire heart―and, let's face it, Xiaoxi would never grow out of her love for Jian Chen. *end of spoiler alert*

· · ·

♡ FRIENDSHIP:

As far as I'm concerned, most people are only interested in the romantic side of dramas ―which is fine, of course―, but I'm adding this item because it was seriously one of the things I enjoyed the most about this drama.

The chemistry between the five of them is awesome. Sometimes, it's not just about how nicely the leads are to each other―I think that portraying a great friendship is equally important. After all, life is not just about romantic love―it's about all the other kinds of love, as well.

It was sweet that they not only grew up together, but also that they stayed friends even if they had other things going on in their lives. They were unconditional to each other, but that didn't just stayed in high school―it followed them to their adult lives. They still tried to find the time to meet, even if they were busy (*spoiler alert* Xiaoxi's fansigning! *end of spoiler alert*), and supported and had each other's back no matter what.

I liked how friendship was one of the main topics in the drama.

· · ·

♡ SUMMARY:

If you're looking for a cute and light coming-of-age drama (and you don't mind a school drama―i.e., dealing with the fact that they are teenagers during most of it), then A Love So Beautiful is the one for you.

Also, if you haven't ever seen a Chinese drama (and you're up to a drama with the characteristics abovementioned), then I recommend you start with this one. It's not boring, chapters are relatively short (40-minutes-long episodes are considerably shorter than Korean drama's one-hour ones).

The acting was great (again, bear in mind that the characters are teenagers!), the chemistry between the leads was good, and, if you're like me, you'll enjoy the chemistry between the entire group (*spoiler alert* although Bosong and Jian Cheng are ready to throw hands at each other like 99% of the time *end of spoiler alert*).

If you have some time, I highly recommend you to watch it!

I'm leaving the trailer here, if you want to check it out:

A Love So Beautiful is available on NETFLIX, VIKI and YOUTUBE!

· · ·

I hope you liked this 'review'. I wanted to write one since I finished the drama, but I have been busy studying for my finals.

Sending lots of love during these weird times ♡

[jedimasterbailey]

A sneak preview of the next chapter of my fic “The Padawans” in which Vader thinks of Ahsoka and Luminara as he plans his fated rematch with Barriss. Includes a flashback to a conversation between Anakin and Luminara post “Brain Invaders” that we should have seen! Link to the fic below, enjoy and thank you for the support 💚💙❤️

Darth Vader stares out to the busy metropolis of Coruscant from his personal quarters in the Imperial Palace, lost in thought. Behind the bulbous black eyes that served as the Sith Lord’s window to the world were tired blue ones still hoping to catch a glimpse of the former residence of Padme Amidala, the deceased wife of Anakin Skywalker. It was moments like this where the former Jedi Knight missed the Senator deeply. For Vader was about to encounter another ghost from his past, Anakin’s past. Soon Vader will be face to face with Luminara Unduli in the very place she used to call home, a home he destroyed.

In the months after the rise of the Empire, Palpatine had the Jedi Temple renovated into his own personal palace. Although the bodies of the dead Jedi have been long excavated and the relics of the Jedi long destroyed, echoes of the past were everywhere. Vader could still see the destruction he caused and he could still hear the terrified screams of the younglings and Knights that were at his mercy. No amount of refurbishment could ever erase what he had done. It was because of this that Vader avoided the palace as much as he could. The Sith apprentice despised being in the place Anakin Skywalker and his Jedi family once resided in. However, if being here resulted in the reappearance of Barriss Offee, then Vader will do what must be done.

The plan was simple. Luminara will be the bait and once Barriss was right where the Dark Lord needed her, Luminara would be disposed of. Vader wanted the Mirialan to feel the same scorching pain he felt on Mustafar when Obi-wan left him for dead. If he couldn’t have his Master’s love, neither could she.

Victory was inevitable. Anakin may have been weak, but if Barriss couldn’t defeat him, then she didn’t stand a chance against Vader, especially with a broken heart. Vader will prove Sidious wrong; that the girl is unworthy of the title of Darth or worth the attention of Ahsoka Tano.

Yet despite his quest for vengeance, Vader was admittedly nervous to see Luminara again. For months he has avoided contact, leaving the Grand Inquisitor to handle the matter. Seeing the woman Anakin viewed as a mother figure beaten and bruised by his own henchman was the last thing Vader wanted to do. It was no different than the Sith avoiding Padme’s tomb on Naboo; he could not face what he has done. As hard as the Emperor had tried to snuff it out, Anakin’s spirit was still trapped inside the machine that was his body. Vader was going to have to kill the one person he knew was Luminara’s whole heart and the Anakin part of him hated him for it.

The cyborg then walks over to a bedside table, the very table Anakin used to hold such possessions, and opens the drawer that contained the last pieces of his Jedi past he refused to part with. In one hand he held one of Ahsoka’s lightsabers and in the other, her Padawan beads.

Vader did not believe for a moment that his former apprentice was gone. Ahsoka had managed to survive situations that would have killed more experienced Jedi. He had taught her how to outsmart the enemy and how to defy seemingly impossible odds. The lightsaber had merely been a decoy and the presence of Morai was confirmation. Somewhere out there, Ahsoka Tano was alive and one day, they would meet again. Vader was sure of it.

“Forgive me, for what I’m about to do.” Vader says to the items in his hands. He didn’t know who exactly he was talking to; Ahsoka or Luminara. Regardless, the Dark Lord thinks back to a time where both women were safe and within arms reach.

Feeling ecstatic that Ahsoka has woken up from her healing trance after her encounter with the Geonosian parasites, Anakin takes it upon himself to find food for his Padawan. Just before the mess hall was a small lounge where visitors could sit and wait while the healers worked on patients. Having been up for several hours on end between their mission on Geonosis and waiting for Ahsoka to wake up, Anakin wanted to grab a cup a caf before waiting in line for food. Upon entering the quiet room, the Jedi Knight was baffled to see a very miserable Luminara Unduli staring into her own beverage.

The Mirialan’s hands were shaking and her eyes were red and puffy, presumably from crying. Never in all his years of knowing the Jedi Master has Anakin seen her look so broken. He takes a seat beside Luminara and places a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Master?”

Luminara raises her head up to meet the young man’s gaze, fresh tears streaming down her face, “Is Ahsoka alright?”

Anakin nods, “She just woke up. Physically, she’s on the mend, it’s her mind I’m worried about. Our Padawans have been through a lot, more than I’d like to think about.”

“Yes... our girls deserve so much more.” Luminara sighs, grabbing tissue to dry her eyes.

“Barriss is going to come through too, she’s strong and resilient like her Master.” Anakin says gently, earning a watery laugh from the woman.

“I’m not sure about that Skywalker... I’ve failed as a Master.” Luminara professes sadly.

Anakin would hear none of it, “Now hold on a second, you have not failed Barriss. None of this is your fault!”

Luminara shakes her head, “I’ve almost lost her twice within a day. It’s my job to protect her and I’ve failed. According to Master Fisto, Barriss’s head scans indicate that she may have suffered some head trauma between the worm and the extreme cold. First, she almost suffocates after blowing up a whole factory with herself still in it only to then get infected by a parasite hours later! Who knows how she’ll be when she wakes up!”

“Perhaps you were right all along. Maybe I should have accompanied Barriss inside the catacombs instead of endangering your student. Maybe I should have gone with the girls on that supply run. There were plenty of Jedi to interagate Poggle and Ahsoka would have been safer in your care. I’ve been a fool! I’m so sorry Anakin and I owe Ahsoka an apology too!”

Anakin then wraps an arm around the woman and pulls her close, “You're being way too hard on yourself, Luminara. You’re forgetting that there were a lot of factors that were beyond our control. Your plan on Geonosis was good! We probably would’ve been successful without it because Force knows I don’t think things through, I’m glad someone was doing the thinking!

“The assignment given to the Padawans was more than reasonable. I’m sure Ahsoka was thrilled to see Barriss’s photographic memory at work and I really do need to work on trusting her. You weren’t planning on those slimy bugs getting in the way nor were you counting on one of those nasty worms infecting the troops on that shuttle. I can’t believe I’m saying this to you of all people, but I think you should give yourself some grace!”

“If you’ve failed as a Master for things not according to plan, then I am a huge failure as well as Obi-wan and probably every other Jedi Master that’s ever lived. You saw how well his plan went when he thought he could talk sense into the Queen of bugs. You were just seconds away from being possessed!” Anakin argues, rolling his eyes at the memory of Obi-wan’s curiosity.

“Rest assured, I’ll be giving him plenty of grief for that!” Luminara smiles, her face brightening up a little, “But thank you Anakin... your kindness never fails to amaze me.”

“Let me know when you do because I’d love to see that. All things considered, he deserves a good beating.” Anakin winks with a playful nudge before getting serious again. “Did you want to see Barriss? I was going to grab something to eat for Ahsoka, but if you need the company, I’d walk with you.”

Luminara nods, “Yes, I wanted to give you and Ahsoka some time alone especially since it may be a while before Barriss wakes up given her injuries.”

Anakin beams at the Jedi Master. For as long as he’s known Luminara, she has always been considerate and gentle with his needs.

“I appreciate that, Master.”

“Can I ask you something?” Luminara says with a far off look on her face.

“Anything.”

“Did you really believe that I gave up on Barriss when the factory went down?” Luminara asks calmly, but Anakin could tell from her breathing that it was a facade.

“No.” Anakin admits allowing Luminara to exhale a sigh of relief, “I allowed my fear to get the better of me and I took it out on you. You were trying to console me and even when I didn’t deserve it, you never got upset with me. You were hurting just as much as I was and I was selfish. I know better than that! Of course you care about Barriss! I owe you an apology Master, I’m sorry.”

Luminara begins to cry again startling the Jedi Knight, “Did I say something wrong?”

Luminara shakes her head.

“No! I’m just so relieved!” Luminara sobs, putting her face in her hands.

“Oh, good! I’m sure Obi-wan would kill me if I upset you.” Anakin chuckles, rising to offer a hand to Luminara.

“Walk with me back to the girl’s room? I gotta stop and get Snips some food, but I’m sure she’d love your company. And who knows? Maybe Barriss will wake up! I’m sure your face is the first one she’d want to see.”

With a smile as bright as the twin suns of Tatooine, Luminara graciously accepts Anakin’s hand, “I’d love to.”

Gingerly placing the lightsaber and beads back where he found them, Vader turns to leave the room, sensing the Grand Inquisitor’s presence as well as a weakened Luminara. For the sake of his sanity, the Dark Lord prayed his true identity stayed a secret with the prisoner.

[bunnimew]

Not Much for a Soul

Rating: T  Fandom: Rise of the Guardians Relationship: Jack Frost/Pitch Black Tags: Demon AU, Humor, Fluff, Consent issues dragged out into the light lawl, Kind of a meetcute if you tilt your head and squint a little Summary: For RotG Halloween 2020: Day 6 @rotg-halloween

A flat bike tire changes Pitch's future. 

On AO3 here.

This route was a lot less terrifying on a bike. 

The traffic was too far away. Pitch never usually had that thought, but tonight, limited to the speed and resilience of his own two feet, the sounds of life were muffled and distant. He felt that if something happened to him here, no one would arrive in time. No one might even hear him.

The buildings on either side of the street were tall and dark, closed and locked for the night. Nobody here had worked as late as Pitch had. None of them had stayed late enough to be sentry for his safe passage. 

He was being dramatic. 

Nothing was going to happen. If there was nobody here, the way it looked and sounded, then there was no one here to help him nor hurt him. He just had to get home.

Pitch reset his grip on the handlebars and decided not to think about it anymore. He would need to get the tire replaced in the morning; he didn’t want to walk this path at night again if he didn’t have to. 

“Nice bike.”

Pitch damn near jumped out of his skin. It was his own fault. He’d hyped up the desertion of the street and the creepiness of the quiet all by himself. If he was afraid of the lone, thin teen standing under the streetlight who looked like he might weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet, he did it to himself. 

What was this kid doing out here, anyway? 

“Thanks.” The reply was automatic. Compliment? Thanks. “Can I help you?”

“Oooh,” the teen smiled. “Accent. I like it.”

Pitch wished he hadn’t stopped, because now it would be rude to keep walking. 

“You don’t seem lost.”

The teen shook his head. “Nah, I’m right where I want to be.”

Pitch thought as much. He gestured in the direction he’d been walking. “Then, if you don’t mind…”

He didn’t manage a full step before the teen spoke again. “Maybe you can still help me.”

Pitch swallowed, irritated, and put his foot back down. Manners were a curse. “With?”

“I’m Jack,” he said, and tilted his head forward charmingly with a smile to match, “and I’m looking for some souls. May I have yours?”

Pitch couldn’t help it. He snorted a laugh. 

“I know, it sounds stupid—”

“That’s the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard.”

“It is pretty bad, isn’t it?” Jack’s nose wrinkled in distaste, but his smile didn’t go anywhere. “What’s your name?”

“Pitch.” He nodded. “But I’m not really looking to date, right now, so…”

He was stopped again. “Not even a pretty little thing like me?” Jack batted his blue eyes at him and tilted his face at an alluring angle. It was an impressively self-aware display. 

And Pitch had to admit, those eyes were quite pretty. Combined with his pale, dishevelled hair and rounded chin, the man was striking. And maybe he wasn’t as young as Pitch originally thought; he’d never met someone under the age of twenty this smooth. Smooth didn’t mean trustworthy, though. “I don’t even know you.”

“You know I’m looking for souls,” Jack insisted with bright eyes and a convincing grin. 

Pitch snorted again. “Does that line ever work?”

“Surprisingly high success rate.”

Pitch shook his head, but there was a laugh on his lips. Disbelieving maybe, but a laugh all the same. “You’re on an awfully deserted street if you’re looking for people.”

Jack’s grin changed. It was small, but Pitch could swear it was… devilish, now. “I found one,” he pointed out. 

Which, Pitch shrugged a shoulder, “I’ll give you that.” 

Jack splayed his hands and despite all the smiles, all the posing, now was the most salesman-like he’d seemed all night. “So what do you want for it?”

Pitch furrowed his brows. Had he missed something? “What do you mean?”

“Say I was a demon,” Jack said, moving his hands and shoulders in overly casual ways that made Pitch pay extra attention to them, to what they could be hiding, “Say I was actually looking for souls. Would you sell me yours?”

That was maybe the oddest question Pitch had ever been asked. He wondered why he wasn’t saying no. “I suppose that depends. What are you offering?”

Jack laughed. It wasn’t the sleazy laugh of a dealmaker or the forced laugh of marketing. He sounded delighted. “Care and affection?”

Pitch considered it, but only for a second. “That doesn’t seem like much for a soul.”

“It’s really not.” Jack shook his head, and Pitch got the impression he was having the time of his life with this. 

Pitch suddenly realized he was still clutching his bike, standing on a deserted street in his work clothes, talking to a man barely out of college about selling souls. He blinked, and said the words before he thought more about it. “This is an odd conversation to be having this time of night in a place like this.”

Jack shrugged and leaned back against the light pole behind him. The yellow cone made it hard for Pitch to say whether his hair was actually white or a pale blond, and it washed out the blue in his eyes. “How about love?”

Pitch blinked again and told himself to stop looking so hard at Jack. They were having a conversation, still, apparently. “I’m sorry, what?”

“If I promised to love you,” Jack said, with a patience and exactness that made his words sound much more serious than this hypothetical conversation probably deserved, “would you sell me your soul for that?”

Pitch tilted his head curiously. “Wouldn’t you already have it?” 

Jack’s smile was so much more gentle now. “That would be if you,” he pointed at Pitch, then himself. “Loved me.”

Pitch took a second, but conceded. “So it would.” 

“If anything,” Jack continued, “it would be like you owned my soul.”

Pitch shifted his weight and released the handle of his bike to set that hand on his hip. If every romance novel ever written was to be believed, then that was not untrue. Many questions sprang to Pitch’s mind. “Is this a line you usually use to pick people up?”

Jack barked a surprised laugh. “You know, actually, I’ve never tried it quite like this before.”

Pitch wasn’t sure he believed that. “Why would you purchase a soul just to give yours back?”

“Well, because I wouldn’t actually be giving mine, since I don’t really have one to give, but also,” Jack’s eyes had rolled up as he thought, his arms sort of half-crossed, half-gesturing as he worked through the logic. It was kind of endearing. “‘Cause it would be nice, right? Being in love? Loving someone and knowing they wouldn’t leave you?”

Pitch supposed he could see the appeal, put like that. It was a little bit psychotic and a lotta bit problematic, but alright, in a fantasy sort-of assumed consent kind of way, loving someone and knowing they wouldn’t leave you was nice. “But can you love if you’re missing your soul?”

Jack bit his lip, looking very pleased. “You sure can.”

“You sound very confident,” Pitch mused. This whole conversation was very strange. To imagine Pitch wouldn’t be having it if he’d missed that nail. “So if I sell you my soul, you’ll promise to love me forever?”

“Well, as long as you live,” Jack said. He seemed wholly unconcerned about that. “And you’d have to wait ten years, of course. Soul contracts always come with a grace period before they start.”

“Oh, of course.” Pitch pressed his hand to his chest dramatically. “I never meant to rush. How could I forget that deals with demons have a decade delay? How foolish of me.”

Jack’s smile widened and he pushed away from the streetlight. “I really like you.”

Pitch was flattered and a little bit shocked. His hand drifted down from his chest. “After only one conversation?”

Jack shrugged carelessly. “Sometimes you just know.” 

His steps didn’t stop. Pitch wasn’t sure what to do, but with his bike to steady, he couldn’t exactly retreat. Or, at least, not without being terribly obvious about it. 

“Sometimes you’re wrong.”

“Yeah,” Jack breathed, now close enough that he didn’t have to speak at full volume for Pitch to hear him. He finally stopped at a very polite, but very forward, distance. Pitch wasn’t sure what to do. “But I don’t think I am.”

“You don’t even know me.”

Jack’s smile looked so very pleased. 

“So just to recap,” he said, and Pitch was sure from his expression, from his body language, that he was having so much fun with this, “If I promise to love you, with all my heart, ten years from now of course.”

Pitch found himself muttering, “Of course,” but he didn’t know why.

“Then you’ll give me your soul?”

He wasn’t sure why this needed a recap. It was all hypothetical, wasn’t it? There was no way Jack was actually going to love him in ten years, especially not if they didn’t… see each other between then and now. But those were the terms they had discussed, weren’t they? 

“I suppose I’m not doing anything with it.”

Jack laughed, but he was shaking his head. And moving forward again. “Good answer, but that’s not how contracts work. You have to say yes.” Jack looked up and met his eyes very intently. “Or, you know, ‘I do.’”

“I do?”

Jack nodded. “You do.”

Pitch wasn’t sure why he was saying anything at all, but Jack was very close now and Pitch… wanted to. “Yes.”

“Excellent.” 

Pitch gasped. Cold fingers pressed against the side of his face, and he wondered when Jack’s hand had gotten that close. His palm tilted Pitch’s face, and now he knew what Jack wanted. What he wanted, too, if he was honest. It was a silly deal to make, there was no way it was real, but it seemed real, and this felt real, and Jack really didn’t seem all that young, anymore.

Pitch’s hand found its way to Jack’s waist, thin and solid, and that was all the grounding he needed to make a decision, to lean down and take Jack’s lips with his. 

It was a chaste kiss, tentative, very unsure, but lingering, and sweet. So sweet, light, like a first love or a New Year’s promise. It filled his chest and made it hard to breathe, and Pitch hadn’t shared a kiss like that in… a while. 

Jack, the nymph, licked his lips once then pulled away. It was a terrible tease, but since Pitch wasn’t sure what had come over him in the first place, it was probably best it stay that way. He wasn’t in the habit of kissing strangers on the street and yet, here he was.

“See you in ten years, then,” Jack said as he drifted out of Pitch’s hold. He waved, a flirty little flip of his hand, then started down the street and into the darkness.

Pitch shook himself. Wait, what? “You’re joking?” He wasn’t serious. He was leaving?

“Oh no,” Jack turned back with a secret smile. “We sealed it with a kiss. That means it’s a deal.” He closed one eye in a slow, seductive wink, and only then did Pitch notice the unnatural glow in his bright, blue eyes. They were lit from within by a cold burning fire. Under the streetlight, he never could have guessed. But out in the dark... Jack looked otherworldly. “Your soul is mine, Sweetheart.”

Jack… 

Had he really been a demon all along?

“Don’t get too old,” Jack said. He spun slowly on his feet and continued along the street. “I like ‘em spry.” His laugh echoed between buildings on the deserted street. “But I’ve got a good feeling about you. I might even already love you.”

He was insane, surely. Pitch gaped as he watched Jack simply leave him behind after all of that, but between one shadow and the next, he was gone, and there was nothing left to watch. 

Pitch wondered what that meant for his soul.