#That bit about Pac saying they can pick up right where they left off really speaks to me

[royalarchivist]

Pac: It was really cool to see Baghera too, man. Baghera and Fit, it was really cool. Then Tubbo, I only met him in spirit, but Baghera was great to see, man.

Pac: Baghera and Fit– ah, it's always great to see the QSMP people. I consider everyone from QSMP as if they were family, you know? They are great friends that I made during one very cool stage in my life, and I will take them with me like this forever. It's the kind of friendship where you pick up exactly where you left off, you know? I see them, we exchange ideas, we talk, it's super cool, we say goodbye, and if we see each other again, it seems like we come back exactly where we left off, you know? It's really cool– because like, even if we spend a long time without talking, we still have that affinity, that friendship and affection for each other, you know? And that is something I can say about all of the QSMP members, it’s just that I specifically met these two this time. But anyone from QSMP I have that same affection for, you know? It's really cool, man, really cool.

Pac: Anyways, this photo is Fit and me in Minas Gerais.

[eye-of-the-cyclops]

PAC: Guidance and Clarity

If you’re feeling unsure of what your next move should be then this post is for you. Take a couple deep breaths and pick whichever picture you feel most drawn to. You might feel drawn to more than one and that’s okay too! These readings came out really specific so every part may not resonate with you. Take what does and leave the rest. 

This is my first PAC reading I’ve done so let me know if you like it! Hopefully it gives you some clarity :) 

Pile 1- Wow y’all are going through it right now

What should you leave behind?

I get the feeling that you’ve received some bad news in the past few days. A lot of dirt has hit the fan and you don’t know where to turn to next. Maybe someone that you’ve treated good and always helped out isn’t returning the love that you give them. (Bad friend, bad love interest, unhealthy or toxic workplace) You’ve begun to realize just how tired and burnt out this relationship has left you. It’s time for you to stop pouring your emotional energy into this blackhole. Maybe you can’t physically leave but you can detach your emotions. You gotta stop feeding into this cycle, I get the feeling that it’s been going on for a while. You need to stop giving away your love to those who use it as a tool to control you.  

What in your life should you nurture?

I know that you’re really tired, but you can’t rest just yet. There’s a whole reserve of anger within you that’s been building up and it’s time to stop pushing it down. You’ve been treated badly for too long and you deserve better. Don’t dive headfirst into your anger, that will just exhaust you more. Your anger is there to guide you to keep you from falling back into this cycle that you need to move out of. When you feel like you can’t go on anymore your anger is there to tell you why you need to keep moving. Right now, your anger is a tool to be used. When you are done using it, feel it, thank it and then release it. Release it and breathe.  

Energy to embody moving forward

You need to be smart about your next moves. Don’t let your anger run away with you and do something that you’ll regret in the long run. Stand up for yourself but don’t run over other people in the process. Try to ground your emotions in caring for yourself. Make sure you eat some wholesome food, try to savor it. Whenever you feel despair just know that you deserve love. You deserve compassion and kindness. I get the feeling that your surroundings are very messy right now and everything has run away from you. Don’t beat yourself up over it, your energy has been taken up by other things. You don’t need to get everything ship-shape right here right now. That’s unrealistic and will just make you feel worse. Take whatever small steps you can. You definitely need to give yourself a scalp massage. Maybe that sounds a bit strange but they always make me feel better. All this pain is going to pass and soon you will feel relief.

Pile 2- Release expectations and move on

What should you leave behind?

There is something in your life that you have been devoting a lot of time, effort and maybe money towards. You’ve been trying every which way to make this work (probably a relationship I think) and your efforts have not been paying off. I hate to tell you this, but you need to stop putting your efforts towards this lost cause. Not all trees will bear fruit.  

What in your life should you nurture?

There has been some dishonesty going on with both parties here. I think on your part you haven’t been able to admit to yourself that the affection and care you have been giving has not been reciprocated. I think the other party here has been toying with your emotions and feelings for them. They like that you like them, but they don’t feel any need to put forth the same effort. They’ve been giving you just enough attention so that you keep pursuing them. You need to be honest with yourself and with them. But beware, I think whatever they have to say to you will definitely hurt because it will make their lack of feelings for you clear. Right now, you need to stop looking at this situation with those rose-tinted glasses on. Stop laying plans for this relationship that doesn’t actually have a future. Be honest with yourself about what you want from a relationship. Is this constant chase really what you want? Do you want all effort and no gratification? You need to check back in with yourself and what you need.  

Energy to embody moving forward

I understand that you really wanted to make this work and you’re hurting because it's not. Feel your pain and honor it, but make sure you don’t get lost in it. There’s also some resentment and anger that has been built up. You need to find a way to release these emotions in a healthy and productive way. Make sure you don’t take it out on the other person or on your friends and family. You could write down all the reasons of why you’re angry and sad and (safely!) burn it. Dispose of the ashes on the wind and as they blow away imagine your attachment leaving with it. You could collect everything that reminds you of them and donate it to the stinkiest thrift store in your town. I won’t lie you’re gonna be in the trenches for a while. Make sure you don’t go back to this person begging for love and attention. Don’t go back demanding an answer for why they never felt the same. You won’t find any answers that way. Take comfort from the end of this cycle. You don’t have to prove yourself to them. You don’t owe them anything. Remember to be kind to yourself. You can’t make someone fall for you and their lack of feelings is not a reflection of your own shortcomings. Ground yourself in giving some of that love and affection to yourself. Do something nice for someone who you know actually cares about you and will appreciate your efforts. You are a very giving person, and it will take someone special who can return the same level of care.    

Pile 3- New trails 

What should you leave behind?

I’m gonna be straight up your friends are shit. You need to cut them off and take care of yourself. I get the feeling that maybe you’ve been friends for a while and have been growing apart and changing. There’s nothing wrong with this it happens to everybody. I think that you live very different lifestyles, maybe you grew up or are a bit poorer while your friend lives very well. Your friend being well off is definitely not a bad thing, but it does mean they live in a bubble. They have a hard time comprehending money struggles and take money for granted. I think they expect you to keep up with their lifestyle and don’t understand why you can’t. You can’t beggar yourself to keep this friendship going, it's not a sustainable lifestyle and will only lead to you feeling inadequate about yourself and resentful about your friends. If they want to go or do something that’s expensive and that you can’t afford you need to say no. If you want to say yes to this trip because you know that your friendship hinges on you keeping up with their lifestyle, then I think that tells you everything you need to know about this friendship. Friendship is not supposed to be conditional, it's not a contract.      

What in your life should you nurture?

You need to embrace any big changes and new opportunities that come your way. Move away from superficial friends and people. Seek out your own experiences that maybe you haven’t done because of influence from your friends. The most important thing you can do is nurture your sense of authenticity. Be honest with yourself and the people around you. This will likely be an uncomfortable transition, but it is a very important one.    

Energy to embody moving forward

You need to hold true to yourself and your needs no matter how difficult. Your friends will not be understanding of you and your circumstances. I think it will literally just be beyond their comprehension. They just don’t understand that some people have financial struggles. They don’t understand what it's like to not have a family legacy of wealth. They will try to peer pressure you into keeping up with their lifestyle, but you need to hold true. They will think that you are boring and dull because they literally do not understand that you can’t afford this shit! Don’t try to make them understand, you don’t owe them an explanation. If they really are your friends, then they will support you and be understanding. If not, then are they really your friends? If it stays let it stay but if it leaves then LET IT GO. If you’ve been searching for a reason to make changes in your life this is it. You will come through this alright as long as stay true to yourself.

Please like and reblog if this reading resonated with you

[nctsworld]

pedal to the metal

✩ jaemin x reader | mall au | arcade attendant!jaemin | fluff | 3.3k

SUMMARY ⇾ when the claw machine eats your money, jaemin, the cute arcade attendant, offers to play a game with you in lieu of a refund. little does he expect you to beat him. | based off of @mistymark​​’s nct mall employees post WARNINGS ⇾ fluff, bit of angst, jaemin is competitive, kissing in the epilogue     RATING ⇾ teen+ 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t share or repost without credit!

Leaning over the glass counter filled with endless prizes, Jaemin holds out two large plushies, one in each of his hands. 

“Pikachu or Spongebob?” He swivels his head to them individually before beaming down at the little girl in front of him. 

With the alternating supervision of her parents, she’s been one of the recent regulars at the arcade and finally saved up enough tickets fo a decent prize, deciding to cash them in today. Her face lights up and targets in on one particular plushie, already inching towards it with open hands. 

“Pikachu, Pikachu!” she squeals. 

The worker’s smile deepens, “Great choice. Couldn’t have picked better myself.” 

He laughs airily as she squeezes Pikachu like it’s the last thing she’ll ever love, bouncing up and down with joy. Today, the girl’s mom is with her and she holds her ecstatic daughter close to her leg, rubbing her arm warmly. 

“So I guess I’ll see you two next week?” Jaemin asks. 

“If she gets over Pikachu as fast as she did with Olaf, then probably yes,” the mom replies with a defeated head shake. “Thanks again, Jaemin. Say bye to the nice boy.” 

“Bye, Jaemin!” 

The mother and daughter wave good-bye with wide smiles, as did Jaemin. Giving prizes out and seeing the delightful reactions on the recipient’s face was one of the best parts of his job. 

Oh, and so was being able to play all the arcade games for free. 

For Jaemin, being the arcade attendant at the local mall was a dream come true. He was once in the same place as the little girl—always coming to the same arcade every day after school. Although he loved winning prizes (who doesn’t?), he also prided himself in being the best at every game, knowing all the secrets and strategies like the back of his hand. Dance Dance Revolution, Street Fighter, Beatmania, Time Crisis, Super Bike, Pac-Man… You name it, and Jaemin can wipe the floor with anybody. It’s why none of his friends liked to play the games with him, but they still had fun nonetheless.

“That girl is insane!” Chenle exclaims with a point of his thumb, strolling up to the counter. He’s one of Jaemin’s many friends and an everyday mall-goer. Jisung comes up next to him, also a friend and works at the mall’s McDonald’s. The mall was really a second home to them all. 

Jisung bobs his head in disbelief. Then, he turns to face their worker friend. 

“You’ve gotta admit she’s really good, right?” 

The lanky figure cocks an eyebrow. “What are you guys talking about? I was busy giving out a prize to someone.” 

The shortest individual of the three widens his eyes. “There was a girl who was just playing Super Bike. She kept kicking everyone’s ass, even us.”

Jisung nods fervently, “I was telling Chenle that she’s probably as good as you, maybe even better.” 

Jaemin scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “No one can beat me at Super Bike, you both know that.” 

“You haven’t seen her play, though…” Chenle sighs dreamily, perching his chin into his palms, as he drifts off into space and replays the gameplay in his mind. 

“I don’t know, Jaemin,” Jisung shrugs. He absentmindedly fiddles with the bundle of tickets left by the little girl. “It’s about time someone beat you at one of the games.” 

Suddenly, Jaemin snatches the tickets from his hands, startling the younger boy. Said younger boy glances up to meet a pair of slitted, burning eyes. In an instant, Jaemin’s eyes melt and a cocky expression flashes by.  

“Like I always say, I never lose.” 

He begins to count the tickets, but the thought of someone being better than him makes him lose track. 

After he finishes counting the tickets, he casually checks-up on the motorcycle racing simulator to see what all the fuss was about. To his disappointment, he is met with a young boy, playing by himself.  

Jaemin makes a mental note to keep an eye and ear out for this mystery Super Bike girl.  

A few days pass. You’re at the mall by yourself to kill some time and to procrastinate on studying. You spent a while at the bookstore already, so you decide to do something a little more fun. 

At the bustling arcade, you’re quickly drawn towards the claw machine with the mountain of plushies. You know the odds of winning are low, but one round couldn’t hurt. Placing your money into the claw machine, you begin to fiddle with the joystick. However, nothing’s moving. 

Your face crinkles in confusion, so you add money again, thinking that maybe it was a one-time fluke. Nope, definitely not a fluke because the claw still doesn’t work. You’re now two dollars down and you didn’t even get the chance to play.  

Walking around the arcade, you try to find a worker, but to no avail. You stand in front of the glass counter, waiting for an attendant. While waiting, you’re peering at all the variety of prizes to be won and wish you were skilled and patient enough to obtain such things. It’s no wonder why the claw machine drew you in, at least that game filled you with a false sense of a fast and easy win.   

After finishing a supervising round in the arcade, Jaemin notices a girl at the front counter. Actually, scratch that, a stunning girl—one that he hasn’t seen in the arcade before. He’d definitely remember you if you had. The ends of his mouth stretch and he strides towards you with a wind of confidence.

“Hi, do you need help with something?” 

Jolting slightly, you’re taken aback by both the handsome figure and the question. You saw him earlier at one of the games, but it never crossed your mind that such a young, attractive guy like that would be the resident arcade attendant. You subconsciously do a double take, eyeing him up and down, causing Jaemin’s grin to become more cheeky.

“Hi, yeah,” You point to where you were previously. “I was trying the claw machine and it took my money, but it didn’t let me play any rounds.” 

“Oh?” He scrunches his face and heads toward the machine. You follow behind. “We just fixed it a few weeks ago, that’s weird.” 

At the claw machine, Jaemin feels around the machine, checking on the knobs and buttons, and even places a coin into it to test out your claim. He tinkers with the joystick, and realizes you’re right; the machine’s only taking money without allowing any plays. 

So he kicks it. Hard.  

You break out into a chortle. “Does that actually help?” 

“Always works like a charm.” 

Another kick, and more chortling. 

Jaemin shifts his head towards you and places a hand on his chest. His eyes waver, searching around him as if someone would be listening, and lowers his voice in a hush. 

“I’m a secret machine whisperer, you gotta trust me,” he says with a small wink, and you trust him by standing back and resuming to observe him with a fluttering heart.  

The attendant tries the machine with money once more, but the kicking evidently didn’t help. This only leads Jaemin to increase the intervals of his kicking. Soon, kicking evolves into desperately shaking the contraption.  

Bemused and shaking your head, you comment, “I don’t think your whispering is working very well.” 

He attempts one last time, but to nobody’s surprise, it fails. He tapes an out of order sign onto the glass. With hands on his hips, he exhales a lengthy sigh.  

“Sorry for your lost money. I can give you a refund.”

“Aw, no. It’s okay, it was only a couple of bucks. I was more so looking forward to playing the game, really.” 

A lightbulb goes off in Jaemin’s head. 

“Did you wanna play a game with me to make up for it instead?” 

Although he enunciates the question slowly, cautious of your reply and potential rejection, there’s a contrasting smug expression on his face. Your teeth tug at your bottom lip, about to answer, but then you pout.  

“Aren’t you working right now though?” 

Jaemin shrugs nonchalantly, “It’s kind of slow at the moment and I can argue that I’m maintaining the game.”

“Like what you were just doing with the claw machine?” 

“Exactly.” 

Both of you laugh in unison, gazes converging together. If only the strong sparks flying between you two could somehow fix the claw machine... but then again, you would���ve never had a reason to speak to the beautiful boy in the first place. 

“Sure, what game did you have in mind?” 

Tapping a finger on his chin, Jaemin runs the possibilities in his head. What’s a game that he can easily impress you with his skills, but is also equally fun for you to play? 

“Super Bike?” he offers. 

You nod with a small smile, “Okay, lead the way.” 

Thankfully, as the two of you arrive at the game, no one’s currently playing. You jump onto the left motorcycle, while Jaemin gets onto the right. He enjoys how you cutely sway back and forth, accustoming yourself to the fake motorbike. He gives you a quick breakdown of the controls, and tells you to focus only on the gas and brake since he’ll choose automatic transmission to make things easier for you. You hum with puffed cheeks, ready to play. 

Following Jaemin’s choices of the easiest map level and transmission settings, the race immediately starts. 

Jaemin can play Super Bike in his sleep, so he starts off the first half of the lap with his eyes on his screen, then for the second half, he looks over at you for a few moments. You’re glued to your screen. The glint in your eyes sparkles with pure amusement and an edge of competitiveness. He breathes in the enticing sight, especially as you bite your lip with heightened focus. 

But then, flashes of red flare upon your face. Jaemin’s heart knocks nervously at his chest because the flashes are coming from the sign above your screen with the words ”RACE LEADER”. He’s dragged straight into the match again, not wanting to lose.  

“Have you played this before?” he shouts over the background noises and music. 

“Only a few times,” you shrug lightly. Your eyebrows raise as Jaemin catches up, trailing almost nose to nose with the end of your motorcycle, yet the finish line is approaching fast. Narrowing your eyes, you accelerate and curve around the last bit of the map without struggle. Before you know it, you reach the finish line right before Jaemin does. 

As the first place win radiates from your screen, you pump your arms in the air and remove yourself from the bike. 

On the other hand, Jaemin’s gaze is stuck on the screen, jaw hanging. The big two taunts him with every flicker.  

“Well, that was fun. Thanks for the game—” 

You’re about to ask for his name, but his odd reaction catches you off-guard. You take a step closer to him until someone cries out:   

“That’s Super Bike girl!”

Swinging your head towards the origin of the cry, you see a boy jog over with a wave of his index finger. Chenle’s voice breaks the arcade attendant out of his frozen state. Jaemin whips his head towards you, still on the motorbike.   

“You’re Super Bike girl?!” he echoes, eyebrows knitted. 

“I already have a nickname around here?” you giggle. “I only played this game once a few days ago.” 

Chenle asks him, “Did Biker Girl beat you?” 

Jaemin avoids the inquiry, darting his eyes and pressing his lips together tightly. The friend passes the question onto you with owl eyes, and you shyly nod. 

“Oh, my God, and I missed it?!” He huffs in disappointment, but then recollects himself as he takes a few steps toward you. 

“Are you free after seven to come back and play again? Our friends need to witness this. This is history in the making.” 

Immediately, Jaemin shoots daggers into Chenle. The daggers definitely have profanities written all over. You catch a glimpse of Jaemin and can practically read every word.  

“Uhm,” you lower your voice, despite the fact Jaemin can still hear you. “Your friend looks pretty pissed. I feel kinda bad to just come back to beat him in front of people.”

“Oh, don’t worry about feeling bad,” the attendant’s friend waves his hand carelessly. “He always makes us feel bad when he constantly brags about how he’s the best at every game in here.” 

“Is that so?” You glance at the boy on the bike with a new perspective. You could definitely see this guy as cocky, but maybe he’s still sweet underneath the exterior. You also wouldn’t mind seeing him once more before you head home, and now you had a reason. 

“Well, count me in. I’ll be back at seven on the dot.” 

With a flutter of your fingers, you say your temporary good-byes to the pair of boys and head out of the arcade. Jaemin finally props himself off the motorbike, getting back to work.   

Passing by Chenle, he half-jokingly seethes, “I hate you,” into his ear. 

Without a care in the world, Chenle frantically messages their group chat to come by the mall later to witness the match of a lifetime. 

“Hey, did I miss it?” Mark pants as he puts an arm around Jeno from behind. 

“No, you got here right on time. Super Bike girl should be coming any time soon.” 

On the backend of the motorbike, Jaemin sits at the edge of it, studying the modest crowd around the racing simulator. Along with Jisung and Chenle, several of Jaemin’s other close friends are here to cheer for his downfall. For those who aren’t there, his friends are equipped with their phones in hand, ready to record the monumental event. 

Weaving through the crowd with mumbles of “Excuse me’s,” you reach your destination and appear in front of the arcade worker. 

The rising buzz of the crowd fades from your ears and into the background within his presence. You melt at him looking so coolly, bending over the motorbike with folded arms, and give him a warm smile. 

“Just because you’ve got a sweet smile, it doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you.” 

You playfully drop your mouth as the people around “Ooooh” in harmony. Your tongue is pressed against your lower teeth as Jaemin spins himself to the front of the bike. You get onto your previous seat from hours ago, grasping onto the fake vehicle as if you owned it.

You watch Jaemin enter the settings in. He’s not underestimating you this time and he executes his promise of not going easy on you—the hardest map and manual transmission are chosen, signaling you to really bring your A-game for this round.    

At first, the match is tight. You’re practically side by side on the map, even having the occasional opportunity to push him off track and vice-versa. Changing up techniques, as the second lap rings in, you switch transmission gears and ease on the brake for a brief moment, hugging the curve of the map. 

With that move, the red light flashes above him. Jaemin believes, no, he knows he’s going to win. Sweet victory is on the tip of his tongue, he can taste it. Ten seconds are left on the clock, ten seconds left until he beats you and continues to reign king of the game.

But, you suddenly speed past him and the game’s over before he can properly process it.  

The screams surrounding you engulf the entirety of the arcade.

Jaemin’s mouth is on the floor as he realizes he lost. 

No, his mouth is six feet under because you’re currently entering a nickname into the all-time best rankings. You beat Jaemin’s time on the map, seizing the new first place rank for the game. 

Everyone circles you in congratulations, but your eyes are honed in on one individual in the crowd. He hops off the bike, brushes past the crowd, and escapes to the counter, continuing his shift like nothing happened. Hastily, you go after him and find him crouching down behind the glass. He’s unpacking boxes filled with what you assume are prizes. 

On your forearms, you lean over the glass counter. “Hey, when does your shift end?” 

Your assumption is answered as you see him restock some of the plushies in the transparent container underneath you. 

“Why do you want to know? So you can beat me again at another game?” he grumbles, the bitterness blatant in his voice. Nevertheless, you persist. 

“‘Cause Super Bike girl wants to get to know the cute Arcade Boy she met today over dinner.” 

He pauses and his eyebrows perk up at the words cute and dinner in the same sentence. His ego is still sore, but he’ll bite.    

“Is it a date?” he presses further with a disinterested tone, continuing to move the items.  

You drag your bottom lip up, drumming your fingers slowly against the glass. 

“Only if you want it to be.” 

Your words bandage his sore ego quickly, but he wants to bathe in his pity a little while longer. He twists his mouth, fighting against the urge to show you his teeth.  

The boy stands up and leans over the counter too. He’s greeted by your strong aura, yet it doesn’t completely reach your eyes; your gaze is soft and gentle. “I get off at nine, so it’s pretty late.” 

“That’s okay. I can play games until then—” 

You peel yourself off from the glass and properly introduce yourself, holding your hand out. He glances at it for a second, then at your tender look. He gives in and can't help himself from grinning. The arcade attendant reaches for your hand and reciprocates the shake.  

“I’m Jaemin.”  

That day, Jaemin learned that losing at the arcade games wasn’t the worst thing in the world. 

EPILOGUE 

Clutching onto Jaemin’s waist underneath his leather jacket with your chin resting on his shoulder, you’re swaying side by side with him on the racing game that brought you two together. It’s his day off today, and both of you thought it’d be cute to spend some time at the arcade before the movie showing later that evening. 

“Ease on the gas!” you dictate. He rolls his eyes at your backseat driving.    

“No, it’s too early!” he protests and goes against your advice, accelerating further. When that makes him go off-road a bit, you sigh smugly while he groans meekly. 

“See, and this is why I’m better at Super Bike than you,” you tease before pecking a kiss on his cheek. Tingles rise to his cheeks.

“Yeah, but I’ve played this game a lot longer than you.” It’s the second lap and he’s inching towards the finish line.  

“Yeah, but who holds the record?” 

After he speeds through it, the list of the best times roll onto the screen. Your nickname still stands proudly at number one from the day you asked him out on a date. 

Jaemin smiles at the not-so far memory. He then twists and extends his neck over his shoulder, sharing a sweet kiss with you. Your grip around his waist tightens, your fingers sinking into his skin. His palm raises and cups your face, deepening the kiss.    

Breaking away for a moment, he says, “Yeah, well, I’m the better kisser.” 

You sweep your nose against his. “That’s up for debate…�� 

Your lips meet once more lovingly.  

“Can you guys stop making out in the arcade again?” Jisung groans. “Kids are here, you know. Like me.” 

Chenle cuts in, “I thought you were glad someone beat Jaemin for once.”

“I mean, yeah, but I didn’t expect the same person to have her tongue constantly down his throat!” 

Still lip-locked, Jaemin and you smile into the next kisses from their remarks while Jisung and Chenle run off to play another game, far away from the new couple.

[wesimpforxiao]

Inception: Chapter 5

"Pft! I-Ahahaha!"  You were doubled over the table trying to stop yourself from choking on your food while Ajax crinkled his nose in disdain.  The two of you were at Xinyue Kiosk for a late-night dinner that he had insisted was his treat.  You've only ate at fancy food places like this every once in awhile; these meals were so freaking expensive! Your initial hesitance to join Ajax on the basis of money was soon overshadowed by the entertaining sight sitting across the table.

"Tch...tsk..." With every effort, he grew more impatient and frustrated.  It didn't help that you were watching and laughing at his incompetent efforts to use chopsticks!  "Ugh! Forget it!"  He gave up and stabbed one of his sushi rolls rather violently before shoving it into his mouth with a pout.  Ajax turned away from you as his face grew redder and redder, but he couldn't help glancing back to see the smile on your face and the tears of joy rolling down your cheeks.  Well, as long as this brought you joy...at his own expense...He let out a huff before reaching for his drink.  At least whatever bitterness you held towards him last week seemed to disappear.

"I-I can't believe you...! I can't take it!" At long last your laughing fit died down enough so you could breathe, and you reached up to wipe your tears away.  "Pft...! I'm sorry, but this is too funny!"

"Yeah yeah," Ajax sighed yet again, his confidence deflating like a balloon and his posture slouching.  What a way to impress a girl.  He should've went for the fork first!

Noticing his sudden change of attitude, you slipped out of your seat and joined his side, leaning over him.  "Here," you swiped the chopsticks off of his plate and placed them in his hand once again, this time so they were in the correct positions.  "Now you've got the right hold on them."  Your fingers were still draped over his while you guided the sticks to another piece of sushi.  

Contrary to your concentration on helping, Ajax was a bit more flustered than usual and it wasn't because of the chopsticks.  For some reason his heart fluttered at the sudden lack of distance between the two of you, just like that night under the light of the Mingxiao lantern.  'You think I'm in love with childhood friend?  My my my, Mr. Zhongli, perhaps you've finally lost your marbles after spending so much time with mortals,' he recollected.  No...there's no way Zhongli's right about this.  This is all a fluke!  But your hand was so warm, no doubt because of your pyro vision...how long had it been since he felt such gentleness from another person?  The closest he's ever come to human contact was by beating his foes senseless!  And when was the last time he had a genuine hug?  It's been years, he realized, since before the inception of my Fatui status.

"There, see?  You'll get the hang of it."  He snapped back to the present when your hand quickly left his.  Whatever light had begun to gleam in his eyes faded just like the heat from your touch, and he watched you sit back down at your end of the table.  "You're not completely hopeless at chopsticks," you smirked.

"You're right, ojou-chan.  One day I'll surpass you when it comes to these cursed utensils!"  He hid his feelings by attempting to put your lesson to use, but failed drastically again and again.  It was obvious he didn't pay attention to a single thing you had told him to do! The boyish desire to one-up his best friend made you giggle again.

Somewhere behind the decorated divider that made up your private dining space sat the eyes and ears of the wolf.  Following Master Childe around proved to be fruitful just as expected; while the harbinger often held private meetings and dinners to get closer to clients, this one felt different based on all the others that Charlie had followed him to.  There was a distinct familiarity--one that Childe was definitely not faking for the sake of deceit and was shared with the mysterious girl sitting at the other end of the table.

I see, thought Charlie while his ears strained to pick up the other noncoherent whispers on the other side of the screen.  He'd been following Childe around all week and had quickly picked up on the harbinger's avoidance of his own men so that he could spend time with you.  Clearly, this woman must hold a special place in Childe's heart--an old flame, maybe?  Regardless of the specifics of your relationship with him, it would make the most sense for you to be the vigilante Childe has neglected to capture; the merciless blood-thirsty harbinger would've gone in for the kill if it were any other person, but since it's you...you'd be protected. Sheltered.  Allowed to get away with tormenting the Fatui since you're so close to Childe.  You're untouchable.

Of course, this was all just a theory.  To properly identify you as the vigilante Master seeks, he'd have to follow you around instead.

A chill ran down Childe's back out of nowhere; something's wrong.  While he continued to struggle with the remainder of the sushi, his gaze darted to every which-way to identify anything out of the ordinary.  He was sure the two of you weren't followed, and he had made every effort possible to avoid his subordinates on the way here, even setting up a private room that isn't too common in the Kiosk.  Still, he couldn't help but feel like he was being watched. You noticed the sudden tension in the air around him, and stared until he noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing," his voice lower than a minute ago, "Please excuse me, ojou-chan.  I need to use the restroom."  He slipped out between two of the dividers and froze once he was out of your sight.  The remainder of the room was deserted. How odd...the tension in his shoulders slowly faded as he was put at ease.  

"Excuse me," a petite voice drug him out of his thoughts and he was greeted by the waitress.  She held a silver platter with a pair of matching deserts on it.  "Oh, have you changed your mind on desert after all?"

"No, not at all.  Please, allow me."  He took the tray from her and watched her exit the room.  With one final skeptical glance around the room, he returned to the inside of the dividers.

"Oh, and before I forget," Childe began to dig into a delicious chocolate desert you didn't remember the name of but seemed to be some sort of cake.  "I have a business trip coming up at the end of this week in Mondstat."

"Oh really?  That sounds fun.  How long will you be gone?"

"For a few days at the least.  Actually, I was wondering if you'd join me."

Your forkful of chocolate-something froze in midair.  "...Join...you...?  But I don't have anything to do with your company...I'd be a distraction, don't you think? Plus there's my business with the funeral parlor and I don't think I can request days off on such short--"

"I've already spoken to Zhongli about it.  He and Hu Tao cleared you as of last night.  So, what do you say?  Wouldn't this also give you the chance to visit some of your friends there anyway?"

"Well...yes..." you mumbled with a slight blush.

"What do you have to lose?  Think of it as a much-needed vacation.  You work too hard from what I've heard from Zhongli!  Besides, we can use this opportunity to learn more about each other, don't you think?"  Seeing your hesitation, he let out a defeated chuckle and shrugged.  "Of course, that's if you want to come with me.  If not, I understand."

"I..."  Well if my superiors approved, then I guess there's nothing wrong with taking a trip, right?  "Okay, I'll come with you."

................................................

The quiet peacefulness of Liyuan wilderness was disrupted by an exhausted groan and the dragging of feet.  "Ugh, since when was it ever this hot in Liyue?"  Your clothes were soaked in sweat from the summer-like heat despite your vision granting you resistance, but Childe appeared mostly unbothered--mostly.  He didn't show it, but when you'd look elsewhere he'd often pull at his collar and reminisce of the harsh winters of the Motherland.  "Thank the archons that the sun is finally setting."

"We've already passed Wangshu Inn, but it's not too late to turn back and spend the night there.  Are you sure you want to sleep in the woods, Reed?  You'd be passing up the chance to cuddle me, you know."  He reveled in your half-disgusted, half-flustered reaction while you struggled to fully comprehend his words.

"Q-Quit it!  Like I've said before, this wouldn't be my first trip to Mond.  I have no problem lying on the ground!  Or are you saying you can't handle it?"  Flipping the subject onto him did no good at hiding your flushing skin; the arrogant smirk on his face proved it.  "...Why don't we stay here?  There's the creek nearby, and a clearing up ahead."

Childe eyed the surrounding area and set his pack down.  "If the lady insists."  The pleasant aroma of packed food filled the two of you with delight.  "Shall I begin cooking dinner?"

"I wouldn't mind," you practically drooled.  Ajax's cooking was amazing! After that initial dinner when both of you reunited, he would sometimes surprise you with homecooked meals to take home and man were you excited for the next time he offered.  A toy seller and a cook...his younger siblings must live a luxury!  "I'll get some water!"

The creek wasn't too far away--perhaps some fifty feet or so.  The crystalline waters murmured quietly over the pebbles and stones, some spaces louder, others quieter where the fish gathered.  If it wasn't getting darker by the minute and the threat of hilichurls wasn't so prominent, you could've stayed here much longer.  Not that hilichurls posed that much of a threat to someone acquainted with your fighting skills, but you've only come across them once or twice, and the giant ones could easily bulldoze through you if given the chance.

Once the pot of water was full you rose to walk back to your little makeshift camp.  Ajax had insisted on bringing fresh produce since the trip to Mondstat wasn't a particularly long one and the trip was rather straightforward.  Maybe he was going to make stew?  Whatever he chose, you just hoped none of the food spoiled from the sun beating down on the packs all day.

By the time you got back, Ajax had already managed to start a fire and was humming some unknown tune while preparing the produce.  You couldn't help but raise a brow and tighten your hold on the pot.  "Um...really?"

"Hm?"  His eyes slid to you, then back to the fire.  "Oh! Sorry, I wasn't thinking.  Don't worry, Reed.  It won't bite you."

"I'm not coming close enough to feel the heat on my skin.  Here," you thrust the pot towards him and he made sure to grab it before the water spilled over.  Your light footsteps got quieter the further you strayed from Ajax and the fire, taking shelter beneath one of the far trees where your packs lay.  

"Relax, ojou-chan.  I won't let it hurt you."  A small chuckle escaped him before he resumed his humming session without a second thought or noticing your silence.  

You really don't remember...You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.  What did they do to you, Ajax?

Your silence carried on until the crickets duetted with the occasional hoots of a nearby owl and the crackling of the fire weighed heavily on your mind.  "I'm sorry, ojou-chan."  

"Mm?"  He had stopped rambling about some disagreement he and a coworker had about communication and was now looking directly at you.  

"I'll put out the fire," he moved.

"No, you need to stay warm."

"I wouldn't say that."  He drug out a blanket from his pack and laid it in the space between where he sat by the fire and you, who sat at the tree behind him.  "Here.  You'll lay on that side, I'll lay next to the fire."

Your eyes narrowed at the flickering flames behind him.  "Is that even safe?"

"Well if the fire ever gets out of control, you or I can put it out," he reasoned and pat the spot next to him until you reluctantly obliged.  He didn't lay down until you were settled in with your back facing him.  Silence befell the campsite until he took a deep breath.  "What's on your mind, Reed?"

It took a few minutes for the answer to come out.  "Do you not remember our last encounter  before my mother and I left Snezhnaya?"

"Now that you mention it, not really."  He remembered a vague goodbye, but nothing else about it.  It was sometime right after he returned from the abyss if he got his timeline correct.  Feeling a tad nervous for whatever reason now, he let out a small laugh.  "Could you possibly enlighten--" You rolled around so you faced him and met his gaze with tears. That's when his memory came rushing back.

"Ajax!  Ajax!"  You ran at him full speed with hot tears spilling down your cheeks until you collided with him in a tight embrace.  "I--I thought they got you too!" He seemed to freeze under your touch, so you pulled away to look him over.  He appeared tired and wild for lack of a better term, with eyes as wide as saucers like a snow leopard meeting a human for the first time.  He was different, but you couldn't put your finger on how.

"'Too?'"

"The Fatui," you sobbed.  "A day after you went missing, my house...my daddy..."

His words came out as harsh as the cold with not a hint of his kind demeanor shining through. "Spit it out."

"You know how my daddy fights against the Fatui in my town? They burned my house down and...and daddy..." Was your face red from crying all day or from the cold?  "...he burned with it."  Ajax didn't seem injured, so some of the stress weighing your shoulders down dissipated a bit now that you knew your dear friend wasn't hurt.

But instead of Ajax explaining where he was or consoling you for the loss of your father, a horrid giggle pierced through the snowscape.  It was inhuman, what with its pitch sending an icy chill down your spine and instantly replacing your expression of sorrow to one of confusion and horror.  "Ha...Hahahaha! Hahahahah!"

"Why are you laughing? This isn't funny!"

"Ahahaha!  Silly Reed," he chided and pat your head like one consoles a younger sibling, "in this world, only the strong survive.  Your father wasn't strong enough." The girl before him trembled at his words.  "He was too weak if he died like that."

"Th--This isn't funny, Ajax! Cut it--OW!"  You were shoved into the snow with an unfamiliar strength.  Ajax never raised a hand at you, even when you two played together.  What was he--

A dangerous glint danced in his eyes like the fire that consumed your house two days ago. "No, you cut it out!  You're gonna get yourself killed if you keep acting weak.  The world has no mercy on people like us.  It's kill or be killed.  Do you understand that, Reed?"

"Why are you...What is the matter with you?!  Don't you care? What did the Fatui do to you?!  Who even are you?"  Hot tears rolled down your cheeks until the cold froze them in their tracks.  Yet the boy that stared down at you was uncaring, cruel, and held no life in his eyes.

"It wasn't the Fatui," he muttered to himself.  "Hurry up and get on with it already.  What was really so important that you needed to tell me your dad died?"

"My mama and I...we're leaving tomorrow.  I came to make sure you were okay and to say goodbye.  We won't see each other again, Ajax," you finally rose to your feet and clenched your fists.  "But you don't care, do you?"

"No.  I don't.  Leave me alone already."

"I..." Ajax blinked several times as he processed his long-forgotten memory.  "I'm so sorry, Reed."

"If you're so sorry, then tell me what happened.  What did the Fatui do to you?" Even in the dark, you could see a hint of sadness in the depths of his eyes.  "If they hurt you too I swear...I swear I'll make every single one of them pay."  Heat radiated from your body at the thought.  "I promise." Yet even as you said this, there was another, darker, more bittersweet emotion in his expression.

"I...fell into the Abyss."  Those were the only words he muttered before rolling onto his other side, facing away from you.  And though you didn't really understand what he meant, his empty tone struck a cord within you.  Warm arms gently wrapped around his torso with a heat softer than the campfire that lulled him to sleep.

[superbadassnatural]

Special Treat

Summary: The trials of God have been taking a toll on Sam. Good thing Y/N is always there to take good care of her boyfriend. Square filled: Trials!Sam Pairing: Sam x Reader Word count: 2,320 Warnings: fluff, little angst, mention of weight loss, nudity A/N: This takes place in 08.20 “Pac-Man Fever”. Some of the lines are actually from the episode. This was written for @spntfwbingo​

(x)

Sam dragged himself into the war room. Groaning as he tried to rub the sleep off his eyes. His hair was a mess and his eyes held an endless weariness.

He found Dean nursing his beer while he stared into the screen of his laptop. In front of his brother were you. Your feet were propped up on the table. Your eyes left the book in your lap as he entered the room.

“Look who’s awake,” you beamed, standing up.

“I’m telling you, give me five minutes with some clippers-” Dean said as he took in his brother’s state.

“Ah, shut up,” Sam ran his hands through his hair.

You walked towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Standing on your tiptoes, you planted a kiss on his jaw.

“Uh, what time did I lay down?”

“You took a siesta around noon,” Dean answered. “Yesterday.”

Sam’s eyes widened. He knew he had slept a lot, but he had no idea it had been this much. Dean tossed Sam a beer. The youngest Winchester didn’t move a muscle and the bottle shattered on the ground.

“I’m sorry, uh,” his voice was adenoidal. He wasn’t fine.

“Dean!” you scolded.

“That’s why we don’t have nice things, Sam.”

“Sammy?” you asked and he hummed. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he nodded before kissing the top of your head. “How are we on finding Kevin?”

“Look, man,” Dean started. “I’ve hacked into every security camera around Garth’s houseboat, Kevin’s hometown, where Mrs. Tran lived-“

“And?”

“Nothing. We got nothing.”

“We should go out and search for him.”

“Sam, no,” you said. “Please, you need to focus on getting better.”

“I’m fine. I swear.”

“You’re fine?” his brother asked, his eyebrow cocked. “C’mere.”

You followed Dean to the shooting range. He picked his gun and fired three times at one of the targets. The corner of his lips turned down as his eyebrows raised.

“Alright,” he held the gun out for Sam. “You hit that target, we’ll talk about you getting back out there.”

Sam rolled his eyes, taking the pistol from his brother. He held with one hand, index finger on the trigger. He shifted in his place. Both hands gripping the gun tight and this time he fired. Twice. The bullets hit the brick wall. Sam sighed in defeat. You placed your hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

“It’s okay, Sammy.”

“You need to rest, man,” Dean sighed and scooped the gun.

“Why don’t you go to our room and wait for me, huh?” you suggested and he only nodded, heading towards the bedroom.

“This is not good,” Dean said once his brother was out of sight.

“I know. The second one hit him harder,” you breathed out. “You can go do the things you gotta do. I’ll take care of him.”

“If you need anything- if he gets worse, you call me.”

“I will. Promise.”

You made coffee and a sandwich for Sam. After placing them on a tray, you headed to your shared bedroom. Sam was sitting at the edge of the bed. His eyes staring ahead blankly. Even though the door was open, you knocked, startling him a bit.

“Sorry,” your voice was barely upon a whisper. “Brought you breakfast. I know you should be having lunch, but I think it’s better if you eat lighter things.”

He nodded before sitting back in bed. His back pressed against the headboard. You placed the tray on his lap and his lips curled into a weak smile.

“Thanks,” he said before taking a bite of his sandwich.

He ate in silence. He wasn’t okay, that you knew. Sam looked destroyed. The trials were wearing on him more than they should. You didn’t expect it to make such damages. Sam’s strong. He has been through so much throughout his entire life. It was rare to see him this tired.

“Sammy?”

“Hmm,” he hummed.

“How are you feeling?” you took the tray from his lap as he finished eating and placed it on the nightstand.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” you shook your head, your hand reaching to his hair. “We both know you’re not fine. Don’t lie to me, Sammy,” you tried to say it as gentle as you could.  “You can lie to Dean all you want, but don’t hide from me,” your voice was barely upon a whisper. You didn’t want him to think you were scolding him.

“Y/N, I-” he sighed. He couldn’t bring himself to finish. He was too tired.

“Sam, I’m not mad at you. I’m not,” you cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch. His growing stubble tickling your palm. “I just want you to be honest with me. I know you don’t want me to worry, but if you keep telling me you’re fine, you’re only gonna make me worry even more. You don’t wanna worry Dean and that’s okay, but you can open up to me. Always. I can only take care of you if you talk to me.”

Sam swallowed thick. He didn’t want you and Dean worrying about him. You have too much on a daily basis that wears you out, he didn’t want to be a burden to any of you.

“It’s worse than I anticipated,” he confessed. “I thought it would be easier and that I could make it, but I’m not sure anymore. I’m tired of fighting. I want to end it and the only way to do it is by doing these trials,” he mumbled. “This whole thing is not doing any good to me. I know that. I can feel it. My body is weaker. I slept for almost twenty-four hours and I’m still tired as shit. I’m afraid I won’t make it. I don’t care about what happens to me, but leaving you and Dean? It’s the worst thing I could ever do,” tears welled in his eyes. “I know that I’m gonna make the world a better place by finishing these trials. It would be a dream come true not having demons walking among us. We could live more peacefully. We could even start our family, but- But I’m not sure I’m gonna make it, Y/N/N,” he sobbed, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Sammy,” you engulfed him in your arms and allowed your own tears to fall freely. “Nothing is worth losing you. Nothing. I don’t care about the world being a greater place if that means you won’t be here to know what that feels like. I can’t afford to lose you. Not today, not tomorrow. Not ever,” you cried, pulling away so you could hold his face between your hands. His hazel eyes stared back at your teary ones. “I also know that if there’s someone capable of doing this, that someone is you, Sam Winchester. You are the strongest person I know and you can get through it. I know you can, but you don’t have to. Not if you’re not gonna make it or if you feel you can’t do this. You don’t have to carry this on your shoulders. You can lean on me. On Dean. We’re here for you and we’re gonna support you no matter what.”

“I know you will,” he nodded. “Can you not tell this to him? I don’t want him to worry.”

“Sam, Dean is always worried,” you chuckled. “But I won’t tell him,” you pecked his lips. “Right now, I think you could hop on that shower and let me take care of you.”

He nodded, standing up and heading to the bathroom. You picked his boxers and a pair of sweats for him, underwear and an oversized t-shirt for you. Sam stood still in the bathroom. You placed your clothes and turned the water on, making sure the temperature was right.

“Hey,” you approached him, your hands on his hips. “I got you, okay?”

Sam smiled before starting to undress. You did the same. Once his clothes hit the ground, you couldn’t help but notice he was skinnier. Sam always had a muscular body. He wasn’t that bulky, but he was toned in all the right places. You glanced away quickly and hopped on the shower. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable because you were staring, especially about his body. He took your lead and hopped in.

The warm water hit your back, making you relax instantly. You held out your hand for him, intertwining your fingers.

“C’mere,” you called.

He walked closer and wrapped his arms around your waist. Your body pressed against his, your arms around his shoulders.

“I love you so much,” you said.

“I love you too,” he pecked your lips into a chaste kiss. “More than anything.”

You melted into his embrace. Your head resting against his bare chest. He leaned, chin pressed on top of your hair. The water poured into both of you as you enjoyed each other’s company in silence. He tightened his hold on you, afraid you were going to vanish into thin air.

“I’m here,” you reassured him. “I’m not going anywhere. Promise,” he kissed your temple. His lips lingering a little longer. “Let me take care of you.”

Pulling away, you repositioned him. The water was only hitting his back now. His shoulders slumped as the tension started to fade. You reached for his shampoo and poured the right amount in your hand.

“Can you just, uh, lean a little? Or I won’t be able to wash your hair,” you giggled, earning a light chuckle from him.

He leaned, allowing you to reach for his head. You ran your fingers in circular motions as you massaged his scalp. He relaxed even more and a muffled moan escaped through the seam of his lips. His eyes were closed and he looked so delicate.

“Let your head fall back so I can wash off the shampoo,” you said, standing behind him. Your fingers running freely through his hair. “There you go.”

You finished washing his hair with his conditioner. You planted a kiss on his shoulder. Arms wrapping around his middle. His back flushed against your chest.

“You really didn’t have to do this,” he mumbled. His hands resting on top of yours.

“I know,” you pressed your lips to his skin again. “You’re always taking care of me and making sure I’m okay. Let me do this for you. You need it.”

You grabbed the loofah and poured soap on it before rubbing it against his back. You bathed his skin carefully not to make him uncomfortable. Once you stood in front of him, you noticed his blushing cheeks. The fact that even after five years dating — countless times showering together — you still get that reaction from him warms your heart. The water poured down, dripping on his skin and washing all the soap and some of his worries away.

He reached for your shampoo and opened it.

“You don’t have to do this,” you stopped him gently. “I got this,” you grabbed the bottle from his hand. Sam couldn’t find it in him to protest. He knew it would be in vain.

He stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. You finished up quickly and hopped out, fumbling for your towels. One wrapped around your hair and the other around your body. Sam’s hands were gripping both sides of the sink. You figured he might have swiped a towel over the mirror because it wasn’t foggy anymore. You approached him, fingers tracing up his bicep.

“Everything okay?” you asked and he nodded.

You dried yourself and pulled up your panties and the navy blue t-shirt you had stolen from Sam. He dried himself quickly, putting on his boxers and his sweatpants. Then he shook out the excess of water from his hair with a towel while you brushed yours. You exited the bathroom together and headed to your room.

“Go get comfortable. I’m getting you a nice surprise,” you beamed.

His lips curled into a smile as he laid in the middle of the bed. You headed out of the bedroom for a minute and came back with scented candles and massage oil.

“You gotta be kidding me?” his eyes glistened, his voice filled with excitement this time.

“You got yourself a special treat tonight, Mr. Winchester,” you winked.

“God, what did I do to deserve you?”

You lit the candles and scattered them around the room, creating the perfect ambiance.

“On your stomach, sir.”

Sam flipped on his stomach, folding his arms above his head. A smile played on his lips. You’d do anything just to see him smiling. You moved on top of him before applying the right amount of the oil in your palm. You rubbed your hands together and started with smooth, rhythmic strokes throughout his back.

He let out a sigh the second your fingers met his skin. Tracing slow, circular patterns up and down the sides of his spine, you applied gentle pressure with your fingertips. Your hands reached for his broad shoulders, stroking, and pulling.

“Hmmm, this feels so good,” he moaned.

You smiled. His eyes were closed and he was allowing himself to relax. You used the heels of your hands to apply more pressure to his upper back. Sam melted as your fingers prodded into his skin, stroking. You took your time massaging your boyfriend. With every press and pull of your fingers, he relaxed a little more. He deserved to be taken care of. Sam was always so worried about taking good care of everyone else, he forgot to look after himself. Good thing you were there to do it for him.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” he mumbled.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you laughed.

“I would,” a chuckle left his lips. “I love you, Y/N, so much.”

“I love you with all my heart, Sammy.”

I really enjoyed writing this one! Did you like reading it? I’d love to know what you think of this one. You can tell via reply, reblog or ask!

Sam Babes:

@maya-craziness​

[punkpoemprose]

December 2nd- Jumping for “Joy”sticks

Universe: 1980′s Arcade AU Rating: G (General, Fluff, Meetcute) Length: 4752 Words

A/N: I was not alive in the 80′s, I barely remember any of the 90′s, y’all can start picking on my era generalizations when I hit the 00′s. I had a lot of fun with this, I’m sorry for the pun title, it was all I had. Thanks for all the comments and tags on yesterday’s fic. Everyone’s engagement is what keeps me going!

Working as an arcade attendant wasn’t exactly Kristoff’s dream job, but college was pricey, he hated the idea of making his parents help him out, and the work wasn’t exactly difficult for the pay. It was relatively simple as his main duties were emptying coins out of the game machines, dumping them into the change machine, and keeping kids from climbing to jumping on the game cabinets or anything else. Once he got past the sound of kids screams and shouts mingling with Duran Duran and Wham!, the blinking lights, the smell of teens who needed a lecture about deodorant and hygiene, and the uncomfortable sensation of wiping down whatever sticky substance coated half the games it was actually a pretty cushy job.

Most days he spent more time sitting behind the front counter working on classwork and reading his textbooks than doing anything in his job description because it just wasn’t necessary. He had the good fortune to work mostly morning or afternoon into evening shifts on weekdays, so other than the occasional interruption of a truancy officer looking for a kid playing hooky from school there wasn’t much for him to bother with. When he didn’t have homework or classwork to keep himself preoccupied, he found himself, a tried and true introvert, bored enough to people watch. Mostly it was teens and tweens trying to beat each other’s scores on Pac-Man or Donkey Kong Jr., but every now and then there’s be someone a bit more interesting to watch. A father who would sometimes come in with his young son to play Burgertime, an older woman in her 50’s who liked to kick kids off the Tetris machine, and a small company of mall goths all made the grade for entertainment where his entertainment was concerned. There was one standout though, a young woman who would come alone on Wednesday nights.

Wednesday was the only day he worked where he was consistently scheduled to close. It was one of his few days without evening classes or labs and it was usually the quietest night of the week with kids on tight curfews for school and most everyone else just wanting to get home after a long day. The girl though, for some reason he still couldn’t glean, would come in exactly an hour before closing to play Ms. Pac-Man.

She always seemed a bit out of place despite appearing to be just a bit older than the high school kids who usually haunted the place, and being consequently, just a bit younger than he was. He thought that maybe she always stood out to him because of how she was dressed. Not many women spent much time in the arcade, much less alone, but of the small handful she was the only one who came in wearing L.L. Bean sweaters over a perfectly pressed white blouse with a similarly blindingly white skirt and tennis shoes. Her fire red hair was always held in place by a headband that matched her sweater, though he often noted that despite the clear effort put into her image, on a second glance her hair was a bit wild like she didn’t bother much with it.

              The overall impression he had of her was that she’d taken a wrong turn on her way to a nearby country club’s squash court. He really wasn’t even sure what squash was, but he thought that it was something like tennis and was generally the kind of sport rich girls would play. Pretty young women dressed as nicely as she did had to have hobbies he couldn’t understand. He supposed that it might be one of those biases he’d built since starting college that his Ma would chew him out over, and as it ended up whoever the redhead was, she was much more interested in getting a little yellow circle to eat round things than she was in hitting them with a racquet.

Every Wednesday evening like clockwork she’d come in at nine, give him a shy smile like she knew she didn’t belong there, and then would proceed to spend an hour and a pocketful of quarters on Ms. Pac-Man. She was quiet as she played, like she was afraid to make a sound, but sometimes when he’d switch off the music early and start turning machines off, he’d hear the “wokka-wokka” of her machine and the occasional almost inaudible huff when she lost followed shortly by the clink of another coin hitting the slot and dropping down into the coin box.

Their only real interaction beyond the shy smile she’d always give him on her way in and out was the brief exchange of him letting her know that he was getting ready to close up for the night. She’d always thank him quietly for letting her know, and he noticed how red she would get on the nights she apologized for staying so long. He’d been annoyed by that at first, the fact that she would come in not long before close and play right up until he was ready to lock up for the evening. He supposed that it was easy to lose track of time in the arcade if you weren’t always waiting for your shift to be over given the distinct lack of clocks in the space, but it was always bothersome to have to be  held up by a customer.

He remembered wanting to tell her the first few times she’d overstayed that she should check her fancy watch if she was going to wear it. It probably cost more than he made in a year, and yet despite the fact he was certain it kept time well, she always seemed to be surprised by the hour passing. However, the annoyance quickly passed when she would apologize for getting caught up and leave promptly after he let her know they were closing.

It was impossible for him to stay annoyed at her, despite his best efforts to not pay attention to anyone at his job more than strictly necessary, the red head with her love for Ms. Pac-Man often were the subject of his idle thoughts. She was polite and she was pretty, and he was a grumpy “old bastard”, but he was a man and he could appreciate polite and pretty when he hadn’t dated anyone in a very very long time.

In fact, he started to look forward to Wednesdays. Even knowing that her arrival would keep him from a early night, he felt strangely like she needed to be there. He didn’t know her, but there was something in her manner that told him that maybe this was where she came to breathe. He would never call himself on expert in communication or understanding others, but there was something about the shyness of her entrance and exit and the way she just relaxed when she played that made him glad she came, that the space was safe for her. She always looked so sad when she left.

It was a particularly slow day when he was informed by a coworker who had been on the shift before his that several machines were out of commission due to what they assumed to be a power surge. On the line of downed machines were Galaga, Frogger, a few other semi-popular games, and most unfortunately, both Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man. He’d also been informed that the repair shop had been called, but there was no word on when, or if they would arrive before the end of the week let along the end of the day.

Kristoff knew that it shouldn’t bother him. They were just games after all, and he barely if ever played any of them himself. Kids would find something else to play and the cabinets would get fixed when they got fixed. He did care though, he spent his whole shift pacing behind the counter, watching the door, waiting for the phone to ring, and generally hoping that someone would come and fix something. He cared because it was Wednesday and she was going to be coming in to play Ms. Pac-Man and he, strange as it may be, liked her quiet company. He liked the idea that one of these days he might ask her for her name and maybe talk with her for a little while.

Hours passed, and he only gave up hope when he knew that it had to be past time for the repair shop to close. His anticipant pacing then turned to nervous heel rocking as the last few customers filtered out for the evening and the time of her arrival neared. He wondered what he should say to her when she walked in, or if he should say anything at all. She’d find out that the game was down either way, but he didn’t want her to go right after she found out either. Maybe, he thought, she might stay if he just said the right thing.

He held his breath when he heard the door open, and while he wasn’t exactly surprised when she walked through the door, he was thrown off to be greeted with, not her shy smile, but instead with her rushing past the counter, not looking his way at all. That, he decided, took the cake for the oddest part of an already strange day.

There was of course no obligation for her to interact with him, but there was something in the way that she rushed by that had him feeling uneasy. He really wasn’t a people person in any sense of the word. He preferred the company of family or his dog over any interaction with strangers, but he had an odd sense that even having not spoken to her much, she wasn’t a stranger.

“I’m sorry your game is down,” he said quickly before she got far enough away that he’d have to raise his voice to relay the information, “I’ve been waiting for the repair guy my whole shift but it looks like he couldn’t make it.”

She stopped dead in her tracks, and though she didn’t turn to him, he noticed her shoulders slump. He felt guilty despite it being out of his control. There was something about her that made him want to please her, and while he knew that his sisters would tease and tell him that it was just because she was pretty, he knew that there was more to it than that. She was nice, and despite his initial misgivings about her, she’d never given him any reason to believe that she was the kind of person who deserved karma had knocked out her favorite game and the best possible alternative at the same time.

“Oh,” she said, so softly he almost couldn’t hear it over the music.

It was a defeated sort of sound that made him wonder why she really came in to play the game every Wednesday. Maybe it was more than just a game or needing a break for her. She did always come in like clockwork after all.

“I…” he didn’t really know what to say. It wasn’t as if he were the one who broke the games or something, an apology didn’t really make sense, and he wasn’t sure why it meant so much to her in the first place.

“I just thought you should know, before you got over there and saw it.”

She sniffled and he froze on the spot. He wasn’t unused to seeing crying. Little kids threw temper tantrums when their parents made them leave, some kids cried in frustration when they couldn’t beat a level or a high score, but usually that was confined to people under the age of ten and there was someone else around to deal with it.

“Thanks for letting me know,” she choked out, and he could hear the tightness of her throat in the tone of her voice. She was crying. He couldn’t see it, but he wasn’t so dense that he couldn’t tell. He felt his face heat, not sure of what to do and feeling like every second that ticked past were an hour.

“Are you okay?”

It was all he could think to ask. It was obvious to him that she wasn’t, and in fact he figured that she probably wasn’t okay when she walked in and that it was the reason she hadn’t looked at him in the first place when it was so routine for her to do so.

“Not really, no.”

He walked around the counter slowly, his legs on autopilot. His mother would be proud, he thought absently as he walked over to her, she’d been training him to be a proper gentleman for years. It wasn’t her fault he was so inept with girls, she’d done her best, and his sisters had tried to help. He just considered himself mostly a lost cause.

“Do you, uh… want to talk about it?”

She turned to look at him and he could see for the first time how red her eyes were, how her usual put-togetherness was marred by her hair being even more wild than usual, by the wet splotch on her cuff where she’d been wiping her eyes.

He also noticed for the first time just how much smaller she was than him. He was a big guy, not excessively so, but still taller and bigger than most of the people he knew. He was miles taller than his parents and sisters, and while that had everything to do with adopted, it had taught him how to make himself small at times, when he was bandaging his littlest sister’s knee or when he needed to fit into the frame in family photos.

He put his hands into his pockets and slumped a bit, trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible even though his head was spinning with half-thoughts on how exactly he could even attempt to be helpful. The last thing she needed was for him to panic on her. He was sure that she was panicked enough for them both.

“I couldn’t… you don’t even…”

She was crying harder now, the words hardly coming out right as she tried to hold a conversation with him. He felt awful. He thought that maybe he should have just let her see the game was out of order and leave instead of making her talk about it. He wasn’t sure what he would have wanted if the roles were reversed. He wasn’t exactly a “talk about it” guy, and when he needed to talk something out, it was always to his dog. He kind of wished that Sven was with him, girls liked dogs, or at least his sisters did.

“You can, if you want.”

She shook her head but seemed to calm down a little bit, taking breaths slowly. He wasn’t sure whether or not she was going to tell him what was going on until she opened her mouth and started in telling her story, still tearful and hiccupping, but at least with the ability to get all the words out.

“It’s just… the straw that broke the camels back? That’s been every straw today. I failed an exam, my ex-boyfriend showed up at my dorm even though he’s not supposed to know where I live, my sister is out of the country on business and I feel so alone.”

He nodded as she talked, “And you just needed a break?”

The shy smile he was so used to appeared again, her lips turning up slightly, making him feel like he could really breathe for the first time since she walked through the door. He hadn’t really noticed how close together they’d become since he walked around the counter, but now that they were just a bit more than a foot apart, he was noticing other things about her that weren’t immediately evident from the distance. She had freckles.

He didn’t even know he liked freckles, he’d never thought about it, but there was a dusting on her nose and across her flushed cheeks and he realized that yes, he really did like them.

“Yeah. I just… I really need a break.”

He’d like to offer to listen some more, to do something else for her, but he wasn’t really sure where the line was when a stranger unloads their emotions on you. He didn’t want to push, but he also wanted to help. It was making his head spin, and all he could focus on was her eyes, and her freckles, and her mussed hair.

“Well I mean, I don’t really know you very well, but uh, you’re welcome to play something else, I guess Tetris isn’t really as fun as Ms. Pac-Man, but it’s kind of soothing. I’ll close up while you’re playing, I promise no one else is going to bother you today. I’m not really good company or anything, but I’ll hang around if you don’t want to be alone.”

It felt like a lot. He put the ball in her court, she could decide whether she wanted him around, or whether she wanted him to go sit behind the counter until she was done, but even the offer felt like an overstep.

“That would be nice Kristoff,” she said, her hiccupping had stopped, but there was an edge of uncertainty to her tone. “Maybe show me how to play?”

“I uh… didn’t think you knew my name.”

She flushed again, her face going even redder than it had when she was crying.

“It’s… uh… on your nametag.”

It was his turn to blush then. He felt like a bumbling idiot.

“Oh, yeah. It is, isn’t it.”

He could practically hear his sisters laughing at him, like they could telepathically tell he was being a disaster from miles away. He was sure that he’d never hear the end of it if they ever found out just how “smooth” he had been trying to talk to a pretty girl. He only had to hope that she wouldn’t ever tell them. The odds, he thought, were slim to none on that, but nothing was ever impossible.

“I’m Anna, by the way. I thought you should know, you know, with me sobbing in front of you and everything.”

He was glad she told him, he wasn’t sure if he should ask, and he wanted to know. He’d been wanting to know, because now he could tie all the thoughts, he’d been having in his head about her to a name, something solid.

Anna.

***

The only sound in the arcade was the Tetris theme music, the clicking of the mechanical buttons on the cabinet and the chatting of two new friends. Kristoff had been surprised by how quickly he’d warmed up to Anna and in return how quickly she seemed to warm up to him. He really wasn’t used to people wanting to hang around him for awfully long. He blamed it a bit on his gruffness, he knew that  he needed to relax a little more around others, but he always found it hard.

Anna made it easy.

She’d told him a lot about her, how she’d split up with a guy a few months ago for lying and cheating on her and how he kept trying to weasel his way back in, how she was trying to get her degree in art history so that she could run her family’s gallery, how her sister ran their family’s importing business and how it kept her away often enough that Anna often didn’t see her for months at a time. She’d told him that she was lonely, and that she came to the arcade because she hadn’t been allowed to go as a child, and now that her parents were passed she didn’t mind being a little disobedient because she knew they would forgive her.

He hadn’t said much about himself, except for when she asked. He told her how he was studying environmental science at community college. They didn’t go to the same school, she was a freshman at the university he was planning on transferring into after he finished his associates in a few months, and she told him how much she loved it there, encouraging him to follow through with his plans to transfer in. He’d told her how his family had adopted him because she asked whether he had any siblings, and it wasn’t exactly a secret. She hadn’t reacted like it was some kind of tragedy like other people sometimes did, which was a comfort to him because he believed that his parents adopting him was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn’t even remember his birthparents anyway.

“Oh my gosh, I think I’m beating you! Am I beating you! Oh crap, I shouldn’t have looked, now I messed up my lines.”

Kristoff couldn’t help but laugh. Anna had been the one to suggest they play two player mode on the game, and while Kristoff hadn’t really played it before other than a couple occasions on his lunchbreak on truly boring Monday shifts, he was doing a decent job of beating her at the game.

“I thought all your Ms. Pac-Man skills would have you in the lead,” he teased.

“Completely different set of skills,” she replied, “besides, I just played that one because it looked the easiest. Also, I like that it’s a romance. It’s cute.”

“A romance?” he asked with a laugh, watching as her blocks stacked up on the opposite side of the screen, almost to the top. He wasn’t intentionally trying to distract her; he was honestly curious. But that it meant he was going to win was just a bonus.

“Yeah it’s all about how they… oh damn it.”

He watched as her screen filled completely with blocks and the game informed him that he had, for the third time, won.

“Sorry,” he offered, “You were really close that time.”

She shrugged, gave him a look that was more mock annoyance than irritation, and then laughed. He laughed with her. He hadn’t had so much fun in a very long time, and he was dreading the fact that he could feel that it would be over soon.

“I wasn’t, but thanks for pretending,” she said, leaning over to bump him with her hip playfully, “You really cheered me up tonight. I owe you a lot.”

He opened his mouth to tell her that she didn’t owe him anything, and that he was happy he could help, but she put a hand up to stop him.

“No, really, I mean it. You were so nice to me tonight, and all the other nights. That’s why I kept coming back, even when you were miffed about me overstaying you were always nice about it and I just needed someone nice. I’m sorry I probably made you run late so many nights, but I guess I just needed the company, even if we didn’t talk. I owe you.”

He shook his head, “It wasn’t a big deal Anna. You were really polite and… I guess I started looking forward to you coming in. This is usually a pretty boring job and you were something different for me to think about. Not that I was… not that I was thinking about you all the time or anything, I just was wondering why you’d come in but…”

He wondered if he should just bend down and eat his shoe, speed up the process a little bit.

“You should have asked,” she said with a brighter version of the shy smile he’d come to expect from her, “I kept waiting for you to talk to me. I didn’t want to bug you at work, but I’ve been dying to talk to you for weeks now. I didn’t just keep coming back for the games you know?”

“You didn’t?”

“No,” she said, leaning into him again but this time less to bump him, and more to support her frame against his much larger one.

Kristoff could feel his pulse quicken. He wasn’t sure why, but his hand itched to reach out to hers. He hadn’t wanted to hold hands with a girl since middle school. He felt like he was thirteen again, awkward and just trying to figure out how to get a girl’s attention.

He already had it though, Anna was only focused on him and he could feel the weight of her gaze even though he wasn’t meeting it.

“I thought you were cute. I kept coming in hoping that maybe you’d talk to me and then maybe you know… if you weren’t seeing someone…”

“Oh.”

He didn’t know why he said that of all things. It was all he could think to say.

“Oh… are you? Seeing someone that is?”

She sounded a bit defeated, and as he felt her leaning away from his side, trying to step to the side, he panicked. He let his hand grab hers loosely, not letting her get too far away from his side unless she really wanted to as he turned to face her. Her freckled nose was illuminated blue by the light from the cabinet and her eyes held an uncertainty that he wanted to chase away.

“No, no I’m not. I just… I’m not used to anyone wanting to… I mean, no one’s ever been…”

“Well, if you want to… I mean, if you’re interested, because I do owe you after all… maybe we could catch a movie sometime, or we could grab dinner? My treat.”

He felt tongue tied, but he managed to nod his head at least. He wondered if she could tell how nervous he was. He was sure that she could because her smile and her eyes held an amusement that had quickly replaced her trepidation. Surely, he thought, she must realize that he had no idea what he was doing. But strangely she wasn’t rescinding her offer or leaving, just smiling at him warmly so he thought that it must count for something.

“How about Friday? I only have classes until noon so depending on your schedule we could grab dinner or coffee or something if dinner is too much?”

“Dinner would be fine,” he managed, “Or coffee if you prefer, I get done at three so if you want I can come pick you up after that… somewhere? It can be someplace neutral if you don’t want me to come to your dorm.”

She grinned, “Dinner then. We can work out the details later… Do you have a pen?”

He nodded, reaching into the pocket of the work vest he’d discarded to the side, and realizing in the same moment that he hadn’t yet let go of her hand.

When he slipped his fingers from between hers, someplace he hadn’t even noticed they’d slotted themselves, he felt a vague sense of loss. He tried not to hold onto it, thrilled by the prospect that soon he’d see her again. To that end he handed her the pen, and was surprised to feel her fingers wrap around his wrist.

They were cool from playing the game, and in stark contrast to his sweating palms. He opened his hand in response to the touch, which was evidently exactly what she wanted as she took the pen to his skin and quickly wrote her number.

“You can call anytime after four,” she said quietly, as if it were a secret even though no one else was there, “Or whenever and leave a message. Whatever works for you just…”

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice breathless even to his own ears.

“Don’t forget to call, okay?”

She handed him the pen, stood up on her tip toes, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He didn’t have time to react before she was grabbing her purse from the foot of the cabinet and heading out the door. Left alone in the empty arcade, one game to switch off and a door to lock up, he let his fingers reach up to brush the place she’d just pecked. If it weren’t for the fact that he knew his imagination wasn’t nearly so creative, he could have believed he dreamed the whole thing.

He looked down at his palm and saw in black ink, perfectly printed, her number, her name, and a small heart.

Anna.

He had never been so grateful for a dead-end minimum wage job in his life.

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Song Machine, Season 1: "Strange Timez"

2The final frontier...until the next frontier as indicated by the album's title. A lot of guests showed up to help out Gorillaz on this album, ranging from indie acts to freaking legends. You thought Humanz was overpacked? You don't know the shit that Kong Studios was filled with when the Spacemonkeyz left. A good amount of my playlist is filled with songs from this album so let's just shut up and get on with it so I can gush about an awesome album.

1. Strange Timez

Heh, they start the album off with the titular track. That's pretty coo---HOLY SHIT, IS THAT ROBERT SMITH?! When you got the fucking frontman of The Cure singing with you about what an utter shitshow of a year it was a while ago, you know that Gorillaz has thrown away any semblance of fucking around. Everyone sounds like they're on the verge of panicking and I'm all for it. What a KO punch out the gate.

2020/10

2. The Valley of the Pagans

Beck decides to team up with Gorillaz, making it his third most important collaboration since his team-ups with The Lonely Island and Bender. This track is something that needs to be shouted out loud with the windows rolled down on a road trip and that's mostly due to the energy Damon brings to the track. Beck does a servicable job but something is missing that would put this on the level of Ultimate Beck Songs. Still, awesome track.

9/10

3. The Lost Chord

This track makes me feel things. Things that I've got no right feeling. Both Damon and Leee manages to make this one of the most depressing tracks on the album even without the context of the album. Some days all you can do go harder, go harder.

11/10

4. Pac-Man

Okay, gonna say something that even I don't like saying. This song is great...until Schoolboy Q starts rapping. I dunno what it is about the rap that turns me off. It just feels loose, all over the place and building up to something that has no payoff. It's a shame the song relies on that part so strongly. Noodle had an interesting outfit in the video though.

7/10

5. Chalk Tablet Towers

Another club anthem from Gorillaz! Nowhere near as good as "Strobelite" but definitely much more relatable (I wanna go home indeed.) St. Vincent is a great back-up on this track that's good enough to dance to, do drugs to or stare at your drink as you wonder if this is the state you're going to spend the rest of your life in...to.

8/10

6. The Pink Phantom

Pretty good tone to this song. Somber, nice crooning from Damon, 6lack's part is a bit superfluous but it doesn't detract from the rest of the son---HOLY SHIT, IS THAT ELTON JOHN?! AND IS HE THE BEST PART OF THE SONG?! I can't believe the blind old bastard still had it in you. To this day, I find myself singing "I tried to say I love you/But you wouldn't listen." to myself out of nowhere. This song elevates this album to a classier stand than anything Murdoc touched has any right being.

3000/10

7. Aries

Really nice chill-out song. Good instrumentation from Peter Hook and Georgia. I'm really underselling it but it is impossible to be in a bad mood when this song comes on. Kind makes you want to go out and, you know, actually do shit. (With a mask on though.)

413/10

8. Friday 13th

Finally some good rap. Geez, that was mean. Well, if it makes you feel any better, this song becomes a bummer if you know the context behind it. Octavian manages to fuel the nihilistic vibe behind the song that makes you wish for beautiful days to take your mind off...well, life. Bonus point for James Baldwin quote.

11/10

9. Dead Butterflies

Yes! More songs to make me feel stuff! Kano and Roxani overshadow Damon as they sing about how nothing matters but...nah, that's it. Nothing matters. We're dead bugs. We got nothing left. Let's just speak Spanish or something.

10/10

10. Desole

Man, Fatoumata Diawara is such a good singer, she can make a man tolerate the French. Second single from the album and they show that are willing to go back to songs in different languages and I am all for it. Fuck yes. Sorry for swearing. Putain Ouais.

714/10

11. Momentary Bliss

First single off the album and it is special, so fucking special. Slowthai grabs your attention by the throat with his heavy rhymes and holds you long enough for Slaves to slam themselves down on you with the increasingly-punk-by-the-second climax they crash in on. Damon can barely keep up as he makes sure that enough hype is gathered for this album through one of its best tracks.

1000/10

12. Opium

I only heard this song when I listened to the album for the first time and I immediately put it on my playlist afterwards. EarthGang kicks so much fucking ass on this track that Eddie Murphy experiences sympathy pains every time he hears the word "Georgia". These guys need more cred and they are half of the reason why you should shell out for the deluxe edition.

365/10

13. Simplicity

The title is accurate. The song is simple. Pretty calming though. And nothing offensively wrong with it. I dunno, it must feel like a let down after Opium's haze of awesomeness.

8/10

14. Severed Head

Goldlink and UMO are the bravest fuckers on the planet to bring attention to the serious problem of decapitation. With nice keys backing up their sermon, maybe people will take having all of their major organ functions operable more seriously now. I know I will.

10/10

15. With Love To An Ex

As an African-American who experiences misfortune in love myself, something about this song speaks to me. Ex-niggas may not be texting me...might actually need ex-niggas for that...but shit, your past following you does speak to me in the worst way possible. Man, fuck people.

11/10

16. MLS

Hey, it's these guys again! I'm not going to tell you where I know them from. That's for further down the road. Still, glad to know these two are able to create something beautiful that can be mistakenly picked up by a parent who mistakes it for something from the Craig of the Creek soundtrack.

9/10

17. How Far?

We lost a treasure of a percussionist when Tony Allen died. This track is proof he was one of the best in the business. Skepta doesn't let any slack fall down on his side either. Dissing the listeners while Tony backs him up with one of the best beats I've ever heard. RIP sir.

800/10

Album Score: 494/10

And that concludes the Gorillaz retrospective. Next week, we start on my second favorite band, Ween:

We will covering all their studio albums, starting with the punk masterpiece, GodWeenSatan: The Oneness. That'll take me a couple of days to write up. See you then.

[adampage]

Post Revolution | Adam Page

Pairing: Hangman Adam Page x Selena (Latina OFC) Word Count: 2.5K Warnings: alcohol mention, themes of depression, a bit of swearing, NO smut A/N: This is self-indulgent hurt/comfort. I just want him to know how much he’s loved ok.

****

It was particularly difficult to imagine the state Selena’s boyfriend was in after that emotionally turbulent tag championship defense. Watching from two rows back had been heartbreaking enough, the knots in her stomach were still tight even minutes after it was over. Selena made her way backstage then, not wanting to lose sight of him for more than a second.

He’d been vulnerable for weeks, and the alcohol wasn’t helping even if he thought it was.

She flashed her backstage pass to a security guard, who finally let her through to where the talent was gathered. The bucks were the first people Selena saw, and they didn’t do much in the way of easing her stomach. She hoped they wouldn’t see her, because she knew she was liable to say something regretful and beyond repair.

“Hey, Lenna!” Nick smiled at her as she made her way past them, grabbing her by the fingertips. “It’s good to see you, did you like the match?”

“Yeah, Nick. I loved it.”

Behind him, Matt’s ears perked up at the sound of her name and her voice, and he turned toward her with one small kid on his hip, ever the perfect, handsome father. He looked at her amiably enough, but there was something dark in his eyes that she couldn’t quite understand. It almost felt like a provocation.

And it was enough to flare her temper.

Nick's smile was big and bright, and it tore at her heart to even think of saying what was on her mind at him directly, so she looked plainly at his brother behind him. “But my favorite part was that y’all lost, and my boyfriend beat you.”

She flashed Matt a thousand-watt grin, lowered her head in regret to Nick, and excused herself.

Si yo fuera Adam, donde estaría? she asked no one. She knocked on the door of the make up room, the AEW make up artists slowly packing up their supplies with help from a backstage tech. “Stella,” she called.

“He passed by about two minutes ago,” Stella replied, popping up from underneath a black table cloth. Selena helped her up and dusted her off. “He was raving about ‘glitter dick’ and went down the hall to the showers. Lord knows what the fuck that meant.”

“Thank you, Stella,” Selena grinned, continuing her search for her lost cowboy. She felt like a sober Arthur Morgan looking for her Lenny. The quest was just as long, and yet it wasn’t any fun because the drunk one wasn’t her.

Her eyes scoured the doors of the hallway for one that would lead her to the showers. She found a paper sign, finally, with an arrow pointing down another hallway that read “men’s showers”. Her heart leapt once, pounding just a little bit faster at the thought of finding her man.

Why didn’t he come for me? She thought. Why did he isolate himself again?

He was like a sick dog. Keeping himself away from those he needed most just because he felt he was too much of a bother. But it was moments like this where he needed to be around the people who cared for him the most.

The wooden door to the showers sat slightly ajar, and steam escaped from it. Selena could hear the sharp and steady stream of a shower head in use. Not wanting to catch anyone else in the shower, she called out before entering, stunned at the echo of her voice that filled the room.

“Adam?” Her voice quivered. Already, she couldn’t help but feel a little afraid at how she might find him.

A moment’s pause. And then, softly but with feeling, the cowboy made himself known. “Yeah?”

“Can I come in?”

Another pause. He seemed to be debating something. “I—I’m not. Decent.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart. I don’t mind.” When he didn’t answer back: “Do you?”

“Maybe. A little.”

She ran her tongue across her lips. It was perhaps the only reaction she made that could have possibly told someone that his words ached at her heart. Her eyes remained steady on the ground, a hand resting on the door. Selena could feel him, there, inside. She only hoped he could feel her there, too. “Okay. I’ll be out here, waiting. Take your time.”

A quiet “okay” was the only response.

She waited outside for him, somewhat impatiently, but she didn’t want to push him. She stared at the ceiling. At the wall. At her feet. She gave closed-mouth smiles at the backstage techs that hurried past, trying to load some equipment back up into the trailers. Some of them looked sorry for her. Others glanced at her, confused, then shook their confusion away and continued their work. A few of them she recognized. They gave her tiny waves or quick hellos. Apart from them, the hallway was empty of AEW talent.

Except for one.

He sat on a production crate, head leaned back against the wall. She hadn’t noticed him at first, as he was known to be eerily quiet. This moment in particular, though, he managed a sigh that was loud enough for her to hear in the now silent hall.

“Orange?” she said meekly.

His head turned slowly to look at her. It was hard to tell just what sort of emotions were on his face, as his eyes were hidden behind his shades.

“Are you all right?” Selena pressed. But he didn’t say anything. Next to his crossed legs was a piece of printed paper. He shuffled it away from him, and it fell on the floor, luckily at her feet.

It was a miniature sized poster of one of the blown-up ones she’d seen at the entrance of the arena. A graphic of Pac, hulking and menacing, and Orange himself, with the words “Pac vs Orange Cassidy in a singles match at AEW Revolution” underneath them.

Selena picked up the paper and smiled, glad of the chance to take her mind off the anxious cowboy in the showers. She figured Orange must want to talk about it, since he took the time to show her the poster, and sighed loudly enough for her to hear, specifically. So she took the bait. “Why, Orange, you aren’t...worried about this match, are you?”

It took Selena a few moments before she realized Orange was shrugging.

“Hm, you don’t seem too sure.” She took it a step further, “in fact, I’d say it’s like you think what Pac said about you is true.”

What little she could see of his eyebrows furrowed together, and she noticed him take another deep breath. Selena took a step closer to him, glancing back at the door to the showers. She probably still had a few more minutes till Adam appeared, so she inched a bit closer.

“No, that’s not it, is it?”

A small quirk of his left elbow told her maybe she was onto something.

“It’s the fans. You’re worried they aren’t going to like the match. That they’ll finally see you wrestle, and be disappointed.”

A tiny clench of his jaw told her she’d hit it right on the mark.

She found herself standing right in front of his perch, determined to get him out of his slump. Her hands held onto both corners of the crate, and she looked at him directly in the shades.

“Now you listen to me, Orange Cassidy. I’m going to tell you something that I wish I could tell my boyfriend every day of my life, because it’s the truth. And I think it’s true about you too, okay?”

He nodded. Not too quickly. Just slow enough.

“The fans adore you. They love every second of you out there, and you never fail to make them smile. The crowd goes absolutely buckwild for you, and there’s no reason for me to think that they wouldn’t ever have your back. You’re one of the best wrestlers on this show, one of the best wrestlers in the world, and don’t think for one minute that you aren’t.”

Selena could feel tears welling in her eyes, and she looked away from him, drawing a deep breath. She tried to focus her eyes on the floor, and it was then that she noticed a pair of cowboy boots at the edges of her vision.

(Unbeknownst to Selena, Orange Cassidy had also smiled at this exact moment, slipped off the crate, and proceeded  down the hall.)

Adam Page stood next to her in all six feet of his glory. His light blue jeans hung tight against his thighs, held firmly on his waist by a dark brown belt and its grand belt buckle. He was wearing one of those flowery western shirts of his that Selena loved so much, his hair still glistening wet.

“Adam,” she breathed. His name rushed out of her like a sigh of relief. He was close enough to touch, and she so desperately wanted to. She eyed him, noticing a gentleness in his gaze, and an openness of his body. She reached for his hands, kissing them tenderly, giving them a small squeeze.

“Babe,” he ran his tongue along his lips, stammering out the next few words: “I’m-I’m sorry I didn’t come to find you. I needed a-a-a drink.” He winced at the sound of his own voice.

Selena nodded, looking away from him. Once again, he’d decided alcohol was a better help to him than herself. Though it stung at her pride, she wanted him to know just how much she loved him. “I understand. Do you want to stay and watch the other matches?” It was a question meant to gauge how he felt still.

Adam’s eyes fluttered closed, pulling her in for a warm embrace. He took in a deep breath, faintly smelling the aroma of her soft perfume. He was reaching for anything that could keep him grounded, anything intoxicating enough to melt away the resentment and the pain he felt during the most adrenaline-filled match of his life. He felt like a bottle of soda so shaken up that if someone managed to pop his top off, he’d be ready to blow, covering everything in his wake. He didn’t want to be uncontrollable, he didn’t want to be full of ire. Something about his win, he  thought, didn’t feel right. It felt...tainted.

But how could he tell her? How could he tell her that despite everything he accomplished today, there was still a gaping void in his chest that ate at him from the inside?

He thought back to what he heard between Selena and Orange as he walked out of the shower room. “You’re one of the best wrestlers in the world, and don’t think for one minute that you aren’t.” Did she really think that? Or was that truly only a figment created by his lack of sobriety?

“What you said. To Orange,” he pulled away, his clear eyes meeting her dark ones. “Did y-you really mean that?”

She could feel the welling of tears at the corner of her eyes again. Now was the time. If ever she could quell his inner demons, even for a moment, this was it.

“Of course I did. I wish I could say those things to you every day, but I know you wouldn’t believe them. Your mind…” a tear fell down her face, tickling her skin. “You won’t let yourself believe it.”

Adam’s eyes glistened. “I wish you could see what I see. A wonderful man who’s come so far, who still has so much more to go.” Selena raised a soft hand to rest it against his cheek. “You are kind, and you are smart, and you are ever-evolving. There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not awestruck by how you’re improving. As a boyfriend, as a wrestler. As a man. As a human being.  You are so much better than all of them, Adam.”

He swallowed hard, her words tightening that void within him.

“But the one thing they have right? They ask each other for help. Now, maybe...maybe they were too caught up in their own shit to realise you were calling out for help. But I’m not. I’m here.” “I see you, darling man. Do you see me?” The tears were overwhelming her now, but she couldn’t look away from him. She wanted him to feel it, feel how much she meant her words.

It wasn’t long before she felt her cowboy’s lips on her forehead, on her cheeks kissing away the tears. When he reached her mouth, they meshed together so needily, so desperately. She could taste the salt of her tears on his lips, but she didn’t care. She needed him, and he needed her.

The words rolled out of him so softly, so clearly that Selena could hardly believe he was still drunk. “I see you, babe. I see you. And I love you so much, and I’m sorry that I ever thought I could do this without you.” His forehead pressed against hers, his nose nuzzling her ever so affectionately. The knot inside him was too much to bear, and he realised he needed to let it go. “I just feel so lost. I feel like. Like nothing I do is enough. Like no matter what, I won’t be happy. At the end of everything, I still feel like...like I’m nothing.”

The tears were already staining his cheeks before he realised he was sobbing into her shoulder. She wrapped an arm around the back of his neck, placing her fingers at the nape in hope that it would give him some comfort. He was so, so heavy. Heavy with a pain that she had known before. But this is what he needed. He needed to let it go. His entire body engulfed her, but she remained firm and unyielding, when he couldn’t be.

With every heaving of his chest, every shuddering breath, the weight of the void in his heart lifted. The suffering seeped out of his every pore, disappearing like a wisp of smoke. The shroud of anguish that consumed his mind vanished, leaving him feeling lighter than he ever had.

And for what it was worth, Selena could feel it.

Adam pulled back a bit, so he could look his girl in the eyes, and noticed the damp spot on her shoulder that he left behind. “Fuck, I-I’m so sorry.” Still drunk, maybe. She gave him a gentle smile.

“It’s okay, Adam.”

“N-no, it’s not, I-babe, I-” he protested, but she raised a finger to his lips.

“Everything’s okay,” she whispered, embracing him again and leaving a chaste kiss at the corner of his mouth. “Feel better?”

Adam ran his tongue along his mouth, letting his mind wonder about its own ease. “Yeah, actually.”

Selena pulled his arm over her own, locking the two of them together by the elbows with a proud grin on her face. “Good.” She leaned her head on the side of his arm, and motioned for them to get going. “Sometimes the best way to get rid of the burden of a heavy heart is to share it with someone else.”

He grinned at her, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “How did I end with such a wise girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. But Orange you glad you did?”

***

[kyufiber-moved]

shampoo; hendery

member: hendery / wayv, nct

genre: friends to lovers, fluff, angst

word count: 2.4k

summary: the two of you have been inseparable since 8th grade, best friends and nothing more. then one tipsy kiss changes everything, and you aren’t sure whether you’re just friends who made a drunk mistake, or something more. 

(a/n: thank you to miss @markheehee who gave me the idea from when she sent in her hendery dream !!! also i’m trying out a new scenario post theme inspired by @000609 and @nctream i hope y’all don’t mind !!) / (spotify playlist)

He’s never been this close to you. Not like this. 

You close your eyes. Let your lips part—

He’s right there, you can feel it. You can smell his shampoo, the green-apple scented one he’s used for the past three years. 

It never made you feel like this before. 

And in a moment of pure bravery, you let a whisper escape your lips: “Kiss me.”

The bell finally rings, signaling the end of class, and you stretch in your seat. Hendery appears in front of your desk, an excited grin sprawled across his lips. 

“What?” you yawn. 

“Did you hear Johnny Seo is throwing a party this weekend?” he doesn’t attempt to conceal the excitement in his voice, and the boyishness of it makes you chuckle. 

“What’s with you and that kid?” 

“He’s cool! And he invited me— and you, by extension— to his party this weekend! Do you know how big that is?”

“You know I’m not that big of a—”

“You’re a big, fat liar.” he scoffs. “You spent the entirety of Spring Break some level of drunk.”

You scowl, gathering your things and standing up. “That was different. That’s Spring Break.”

“And this is the weekend!” he slings your bookbag over his other shoulder. “You said yourself you need a break from studying,”

As the two of you pass through the doorway out into the hallway, you sigh. “I did say that,”

“So you’ll come?”

“I guess. My mom’s working late, so she won’t notice if we crash at my place after.”

He flashes you another grin, slinging your arm through his. “C’mon, we’ve gotta get to the cafeteria before all the good food is gone.”

Sometime later, the two of you sit at a table in the far corner of the lunchroom, munching on cheeseburgers. 

Hendery’s got his eyes locked on the popular table, where Johnny and several other upperclassmen sit. 

“Can you let up on your obsession with Johnny for like, two seconds?” 

“I’m not staring at him, dumbass.”

“Then who? Ouuuu... A girl, perhaps?” you nudge him teasingly, and the sheepish expression on his face tells you you’re right. “Who is it?”

“Nobody,” he mumbles, lowering his eyes to his sandwich.

“Tell me!” you whine. “Am I your best friend or not? I won’t tell anyone!”

He turns a light shade of pink, pretending to be annoyed, but you see a small smile peeking through. “Jeon Soyeon,”

You gasp, your grin widening. “Jeon Soyeon? You’ve got to be kidding me— she’s too much woman for you to handle,” you shake your head dramatically, and he shoves you.

“She’s softer than she lets on,” he rolls his eyes.

“Oh, man. He’s in deep,” you narrate, chewing a bite of burger and eyes twinkling with mischief. “He’s whipped,”

“If you don’t stop, I’m leaving.”

“You won’t,”

“I will,”

“You’re too much of a pussy to eat alone.”

“I’ll go eat with Soyeon,”

At that, you burst out laughing. “Please! I’d love to see that.”

He turns away with a huff and angrily takes a bite of his burger, making you chuckle. 

“This is the wrong house,”

“It’s not! The GPS says this is it.”

“I’m telling you, Hendery. It’s wrong,”

“Maybe I put in the wrong address...?”

“Or maybe he gave you the wrong address on purpose.”

You turn to look at your best friend in the passenger seat with a deadpan expression. He returns your gaze, eyes wide. “He wouldn’t have, right?”

You sigh, resigned, and pat his shoulder. “You’re so much dumber than you look, honestly.”

He scoffs, swiping his phone open. “I’ll just check— oh.”

“What?” you glance over curiously. 

On his phone’s screen is his Instagram dashboard, and the first photo is a candid of Soyeon making out with Johnny. 

“Oh...” you trail off, pursing your lips. 

You grab the phone from his hand and click it off, slipping it in your back pocket. “She didn’t deserve you anyway, man. Come on, let’s go to the arcade and kick some Pac-Man ass, or something.”

A small chuckle escapes his lips as you start the car, and before long, the two of you are in the local arcade, slamming away at the game controls and yelling your hearts out in the middle of the night. 

An hour or so later, the two of you are too tired — and too broke — to continue, so you grab your things and head back out to his car. 

Just as he’s opening the passenger door, you smack him on the shoulder. 

“Ow! What?”

You point at one of the only building still lit up in the small strip of stores, and you shoot him a mischievous grin. 

The words “Liquor Store” shine in neon at the end of your finger. 

“You couldn’t go to the party and get drunk,” you offer. “This is fate.”

“This is a coincidence,”

“Stop being a pessimist, you know that’s my job in this friendship.” you retort and drag him towards the liquor store. 

“Wait, but I don’t have any money—”

“It’s fine, I brought my wallet.”

The two of you head inside, you pushing him as he protests. 

Once you’ve picked out what drinks you want, you approach the counter, and that’s when Hendery freezes.

“What? Why aren’t you moving?” you mutter, trying to nudge him forward, but he spins around in place. 

“Do you have your ID?”

You blink. “I left it at home,”

He purses his lips, eyes sheepish, and lowers his voice. “Mine’s gone.”

“What?”

“Should we go and get yours?” he asks, and you scoff. 

“That’s a twenty-minute drive away and a twenty-minute drive back. By then, this place’ll be closed.”

“So what are we supposed to do then?” he asks, voice rising a little. 

You lean in, a not-so-innocent grin winding across your lips. “Run for it, duh.”

“But—”

“Go! Go! Go!” you shriek, and dart out the door with bottles in hand. Hendery doesn’t think twice before following you at a sprint, and the two of you book it to his car, the clerk shouting after you the whole time. 

You hop in your seats, slam the doors shut, and speed off in mere seconds, shouting and screaming the whole way. 

Once you’ve made it a safe distance, you pull over and the laughter sets in. Soon, you can’t stop the incessant giggling and both your stomachs’ are aching. 

When you finally catch your breath, you suck in some air and glance sideways at your best friend. “My place?” 

He nods, giggles still escaping his lips. 

You take a sip of one of the beer cans Hendery got at the liquor store, hissing after it slides down your throat. 

There’s a redness to your cheeks that reveals this isn’t your first can. 

Setting your drink down on your side table, you slump against Hendery who’s sitting cross-legged in the middle of your bed. 

The clock on your bedside table reads 1:27 AM, and he yawns. 

He nudges you, muttering to get off, but you make a sound of protest and glom onto him even tighter. 

“Y/n~” he whines. “I’m tired,”

“Hendery~” you mimic him, “I love you~”

“You must be really drunk not to pretend you hate me,” he snickers, cheeks flushed from the alcohol. 

“I don’t pretend I hate you! I’m nice to you all the time!” you protest, sitting up and grabbing at his cheeks.

“Y/n, sto~p!” he groans, drawing out the last word. 

“Not until you admit I’m nice to you all the time!” you pout, hanging over him. 

He whines loudly, trying to shove you off, but you just jump into his lap for better access to pinch his cheeks and the both of you topple over onto your bed. 

You pout slightly at his suddenly serious expression as he stares up you. 

“Are you mad?” you ask, the room swirling a bit.

As you study his face, the thought occurs to you that you haven’t seen him drink all that much, and it takes quite a bit of alcohol to get him that drunk.

So why are his cheeks bright pink?

You glance down at your position, and you realize you’re straddling him— on your bed, no less.

Heat rushes to your face. You scramble off of him, darting to the edge of the bed and spouting stuttered apologies. 

The sound of him sitting up reaches your ears, but you don’t turn until you hear him quietly call your name.

Your eyes meet like they usually do, but something is different this time.

His gaze lingers on yours for a little too long, something deep behind his eyes exposed in the rawness of the moment.

What’s different?

The lighting is dim, but you’ve been together in the dead of night countless times before. It’s unusually quiet, but comfortable silences are nothing new for you two. You’re touching, skin against skin, but you’ve been best friends for years— you’ve made contact before.

Maybe the difference is the look in his eyes as they hold yours; the feeling in your chest as the silence sinks deeper and deeper.

A question lingers just behind your lips, but you’re too afraid to break the silence; afraid that this moment might shatter if you do.

His big brown eyes, so comforting in the past, now make your whole body itch with self-awareness. You start to worry about blemishes on your face and skin, and if your hair is falling just the right way, when he reaches out a hand.

His fingertips brush your cheek, catching a few stray strands of hair.

His lips part and his hand slips behind your neck.

As he shifts closer, your heart beats out of your chest so frantically you’re sure he must hear it. But his eyes never leave yours, and he’s only inches away.

He’s never been this close to you. Not like this.

You close your eyes. Let your lips part—

He’s right there, you can feel it. You can smell his shampoo, the one he’s used for the past three years.

It never made you feel like this before.

And in a moment of pure bravery, you let a whisper escape your lips: “Kiss me.”

He does, and you realize you’ve never wanted anything more than what’s happening at this very moment.

Your hands find his shoulders, and his fingers tangle in your hair. 

All you can hear is the pounding in your own chest and heavy breaths intermixing. 

Sometime later, you stare up at the dark ceiling of your bedroom, the blurriness of intoxication now gone.  

The room is empty. The only signs that someone else was here with you before is the faint aroma of someone else’s shampoo on your comforter and your puffy lips. 

You blink, still not sure you didn’t dream what just happened in this room. 

You don’t know when he left, or for how long you’ve been laying here in silence, but you remember the kiss in vivid detail as it replays over and over in your head. 

Letting out a shuddering sigh, you shut your eyes and try to drift off to sleep.

The next day, what happened the night before is still the one and only thought preoccupying your mind. So much so, you find it difficult to pay attention in class. 

Your mind is running at a million miles an hour. 

Are we still best friends or something more? Are we dating now? Did he mean that kiss, or was it just a drunken mistake? Was he kissing me because he was upset over Soyeon or because he likes me?

But most of all, what is he going to say when we see each other?

As you walk to your locker, you chew your lip in anxiety. He’s waiting for you there already. 

You both blink at each other in silence for a moment when he opens his mouth, and an avalanche of words tumbles out of your mouth. 

“What happened last night was a mistake,” you say, avoiding his gaze. “We were drunk, and you were upset over Soyeon, and things happen. I think it’d be better if we both just forgot about it.”

You shove your textbook into your locker and slam it shut, glancing at him after. 

He’s staring at the wall of lockers when he nods in agreement, and you stride off down the hallway without sparing him a second look.  

Later that day in class, a text pops up on your phone from Hendery.

from: mother hen 🐥 — 12:13 PM

yo you wanna get mcdonalds tonight ?? my annoying cousins are staying at my house this week and i need to get outta there

to: mother hen 🐥 — 12:13 PM

👌👌👌

You exchange a smile with Hendery, sliding into the passenger seat of his car that night. The lights from inside the stores shine out onto the pavement as you drive, the radio playing faintly. 

The two of you pull into the McDonald’s drive-thru and order much more than either of you can eat, chuckling at the disgusted faces of the McDonald’s employees. 

He finds a spot in the back of the corner of the parking lot and the car engine sputters off, sinking the car into silence. 

As you chew on some fries, he takes a sip of coke.

“I’m sorry,” he says without glancing over at you.

Your head swivels. “What?”

“Last night. I'm sorry,”

You’re silent for a moment.

“Are you upset?” he questions with an unreadable tone. 

“No,” you retort, looking out the side window. “I just don’t know how you can be so calm and unaffected. You may think it’s okay to just kiss people whenever you feel like it, but you have no idea how much that affects people. My first kiss is now forever going to be a mistake. Something that never meant to happen.”

“It wasn’t a mistake,” he speaks up firmly. “Stop saying that.”

“What else am I supposed to call it? A drunken adventure?”

“I wasn’t drunk!” he bursts out. “I was completely sober. It wasn’t because I was drunk, and it wasn’t because I was upset over Soyeon. I don’t even like Soyeon!”

“Why then?”

“Why does anyone kiss anyone?” he shoots back. “It only counts as a mistake, huh? Fine then.” 

He leans across the console and kisses you firmly, leaving you stunned.

Just as he goes to pull away, your limbs move on their own and pull him back into you so you can kiss him back. 

In the back of your mind, it registers that he tastes like Coca-Cola. 

You don’t mind at all.

[paradisobound]

It’s Time to Begin

Summary: Dan and Phil went through hell and back when they were teenagers to fight against the evil clown. However, when they get called back to Derry, they know that the fight is just beginning again with whatever it is. But old feelings begin to get rehashed and they decide to confess something to the other before they head towards the fight for their lives. 

Phan IT Part 2!Au 

Word Count: 3.9k 

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of violence, homophobia, emetophobia, alcohol, death (not MCD) and general horror movie elements 

Written for the @phandomreversebang for the art by softphiily and beta work by @flymetomanchester! 

**Read on Ao3**

A/N: I purposely left the ending as hopeful because if you've seen the movie, then you know the ending and it's extremely sad. So i left the ending ambiguous because I want people to not read this and feel sad but read this and feel hopeful for the end!

When Dan got the call that was about returning to Derry, he vomited. It wasn’t that he was feeling queasy before then, but it was because he knew what the call meant.

The call had come in from Joshua. All he said was the words, “Come back to Derry” and the words had filled Dan’s head with dread.

He was due to go into his comedy show that afternoon, but the words rattled around in his head and he failed to say anything. People booed him, and he laughed because he tried to make the best of it.

He left the stage without announcing so and vomited in the bin on stage right just behind the curtain. He prayed that the microphone on his shirt was turned off and no one could hear him.

It had been so long since he’s thought about Derry, so long since he’s left there. He was convinced that he never wanted to think of the name of that town again, and he had been successful up until this point.

Joshua had told him to take a flight to Maine but Dan was all the way in Los Angeles and was reluctant to do so. He could drag feet, pretend he didn’t actually hear the words, and move on with his life.

But that wouldn’t be fair.

Oh, yes, why wouldn’t it be fair? Dan remembered the blood pact that they had made on the other side of the Stone bridge that one afternoon all those years ago. At the thought, his hand itches and he instinctively itches his palm, raking his fingernails over the slightly raised scar.

He can’t go back. No, there is no way that he could. Too many memories. Too much trauma. Too much everything. If he goes back, that literally only means one thing: it’s back.

Dan doesn’t even want to think about it. He doesn’t want to think about any of it. He doesn’t want to think about Derry, about his former friends, and especially about what they experienced the summer when they were 14.

No, Dan refuses.

He rubs the bridge of his nose between his fingers as he managers rushes a cold bottle of water to him and he takes the damp plastic and shoves it to the nose of his neck and holds it there.

He stands up a bit straighter and makes a beeline past his manager for the table of food and drinks in the back. He grabs the first bottle of wine that he sees, some white bottle that says it’s a Moscato, and he unscrews the cap and begins to drink it down.

Alcohol is going to be the only thing that can numb his feelings tonight.

***

It all started in Derry, back in 1991.

He was a young nerdy boy who just wanted to spend his summer playing the shitty arcade games at his local theater. He’d gotten pretty good at Pac-Man and Donkey Kong that summer, setting multiple high scores just to show off to all of the weebs around him that he was the best.

But when school came around that fall, things began to change a bit more. Namely, his friend group. He’d begun to hang out with Robbie and Steven.

Robbie had a bit of a stutter, but Dan didn’t mind. He likes to pick on Robbie, and sometimes Robbie took it well, and sometimes he didn’t.

Steven was quiet, kept to himself. He was Jewish and while Dan himself wasn’t any religion, he still decided to go with his new friend occasionally to temple to see what it was all about. As they grew up, Dan was willing to always help Steven with his studies for his bar mitzvah.

And then there was Jenna and Bradley. But Dan didn’t know them as well as he knew the others. Yeah, they all hung out, but he still knew the others better.

But it was Phil who Dan liked the most. He was a little bit of a hypochondriac—well, maybe a little bit isn't the correct way to phrase that. Phil panicked a lot about anything. His mom had him conditioned to believe everything and anything was a germ and it was a miracle to Dan that Phil even lasted this long in a public school without having an actual freak out.

But there was always something about Phil that Dan never forgot. Not even all these years later, as Dan is sitting in his car in the parking lot of the studio for his show, fighting back tears as he struggles to breathe.

His phone continues to vibrate on the seat next to him, texts from Joshua rushing in asking him to come back to Derry, that Derry needs their group there to save everything.

Dan knows what is waiting for them, and he’s not sure he wants to ever face it. He had faced it once when they were kids, trying to stop the monster from hurting any other children like they had hurt Robbie’s little brother.

For many years, Dan has tried to act brave because he tried to forget about everything that had happened to them. And really, he had pretty much done that until today's text and all of the memories came flooding back.

He starts his car, turns on the radio as loud as it will go as it blasts Radiohead out of its speakers. The couple in the car next to his turn their heads and he sings alone, trying to forget and drown out the buzzing of his phone on the passenger seat.

No...he won’t go back to Derry.

He can’t go back.

***

Despite Dan’s best efforts, he finds himself in the small town he grew up in, driving past the old arcade where he held all of his records and he sees posters still tacked on the outside from the ‘90s, the last time it had ever been open. Dan’s gut aches a bit more but he’s gotten sick way too much over the last 3 days to still have anything in his stomach.

Dan books an overnight stay in the only bed and breakfast in all of Derry. He books only for one night because he has no intention of actually staying. Part of him hopes that this is all a sick joke to get all of the Losers group to meet up again but he knows deep down that’s not gonna be the case.

After all, it had been a long time since the first ordeal happened.

Dan’s not even sure if he wants to see any of his old friends. It seems like so much has happened since they left and he can’t even decipher if he wants to try and make up for lost time. Maybe the only person he would like to reconnect with is Phil, see how he’s doing, how his health is doing.

Dan laughs to himself as he sits on the edge of the bed with the key to the room in his hand. Phil...good ole’ hypochondriac Phil. Dan does miss him, miss the way he used to freak out over just touching a handrail on a staircase and immediately start dousing his body in hand sanitizer.

He hasn’t heard from Phil in years. The last time he did, he heard Phil got married. And while that’s great for him, Dan can’t help but feel the punch in his gut over the fact that Phil got married.

Mostly because Dan is still harboring a crush on him after all these years. So many years of repressed homophobic language and words. He’s not out to anyone he knows. He’s not even out to his friends back in Hollywood. The only person he is out to is himself.

Dan drops the key out of his grasp and he jumps at the clatter it makes on the hardwood floor in the way too silent room. Part of him wishes he had gotten the nerve to come out to Phil before they all left for college--which Dan dropped out of anyway. They hadn’t even said that much before they all left for their own lives. Dan just gave Phil a quick hug goodbye at graduation and gave them all a promise he’d keep in touch and then they were all gone.

A knock sounds through his door and his shoulders jump as he stands up from the bed and walks over to the door. He opens it slowly and a bit of glee jumps into his chest as he sees Jenna standing there, her strawberry blonde hair tucked behind her ear.

“Hey, Dan!” She says, a voice wavering a bit with tiredness but her eyes still bright green. “Long time no see.”

Dan nods and lets out a laugh. It’s been so long that he’s seen her that it feels a bit unreal to see her now as 30 year old than her teenage self, “You look really good!”

A loud laugh escapes her lips and she waves him off, “Stop lying.”

Dan’s really not but he laughs along. She invites herself into his room and they find themselves talking about their life from the last however many years that they haven’t had contact.

Dan learns that Jenna is going to be filing for divorce from her abusive husband soon and Dan wishes her well in that. He tells Jenna about how he has an upcoming comedy tour beginning in a few months and she jokes that she’s going to buy tickets for one of his shows in New York City.

It feels nice to catch up, but in the end, they both still sit in silence because they deep down know the real reasons why they are here right now. Jenna begins to shake a bit and Dan feels sick again but they both just smile at each other and then Jenna tells him that the others are here too. So they walk downstairs together.

It’s like a mini-reunion but upon seeing everyone standing there, he quickly realizes that they’re missing someone. Steven isn’t here. Dan looked around to make sure he wasn’t just missing him.

“Where is Steven?” Jenna asks before anyone can say anything. She folds her arms over her chest, standing next to Dan.

Robbie stands up and Dan sees the pain behind his eyes, “Steven...Steven passed away. I got an unfortunate call from his wife.”

Everyone opens and closes their mouths and Dan particularly feels the wave crash over him. Did that fucker get to Steven first? How is that even possible? Steven didn’t live around here.

“I know you guys all have questions,” Joshua says, “And I’m sure that you already have some of the answers for them too.”

Dan nods along with the others. Joshua reaches down his side and opens the messenger bag on his shoulder, pulling out a notebook. As he does this, Dan turns his head and looks at Phil for the first time since he came downstairs.

Phil looks so much different. He’s wearing a pair of glasses and his black hair is pushed back into a quiff. His body has also filled out a lot more, more muscle and more definition. And if Dan wasn’t totally in love with him when they were teenagers, he definitely is now. He still is looking at Phil when he looks down at his hand and sees that Phil’s left hand is missing a ring.

His heart stutters for a moment.

“...So you all will need to go out and get that piece to put in our sacrifice to kill it.”

Dan wasn’t listening to much of what Joshua had told all of them. But he was listening now.

“So…” Bradley asks, sitting his hips against the bar behind him. “You’re asking us all to disperse on our own to relieve our teenage trauma just to find that missing piece.”

“Yes.”

“I’m not doing that,” The voice is Phil’s. He’s stood up straighter, his body a bit more rigid. “I can’t do that.”

“How do we even know where to look?” Dan speaks up. “This town is basically vacated. None of the locations we knew as teens are still going to be here.”

“Well, you have to try,” Joshua speaks up. “Or else we’re all going to end up like Steven.”

An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air and Dan swallows back the tension in his throat. He doesn’t want to do this. This seems like such a ridiculous idea and he really wants no part of it.

“If we all don’t get our objects,” Robbie says, speaking up again, “It’s not going to work.”

“So when do we need to have these found by?” Jenna asks, uncrossing her arms from her chest.

“We should all meet here by 6 tonight,” Joshua responds, “So we can make sure everyone has their object. We’ll also need to find Steven’s.”

“How are we going to find Steven’s?” Dan asks. “There isn’t…”

“We’ll find it,” Robbie speaks up, “We--we have to.”

The stutter in Robbie’s speech brings him back to the days of his youth when Robbie had a really bad speech impediment and Dan used to pick on him about it. Of course, he regrets all of that now, but he can’t take back what he did in the past.

“Okay, let’s break up then,” Bradley says, smoothing his hand over his face.

“I’m still not going to do this,” Phil says, standing his ground. “This isn’t worth it.”

“So everyone dying is?” Joshua asks, his voice serious. “If you don’t go and find your object, we’re all going to die. There is no question about it.”

No one else says anymore. Joshua and Robbie both leave and Bradley, Phil, and Jenna are left standing there. Jenna leaves eventually too and Dan stands there with Phil. He takes one last look at Phil before he leaves and he tries to ignore that he can clearly see Phil is crying. If he stays for a second longer, he’ll start to cry as well.

***

Dan doesn’t even know where to start. He gets into his car in the parking lot of the bed and breakfast and turns on the engine. He’s not sure where he wants to go, where he should go. He supposes he can just drive around because there has to be a sign somewhere.

He ends up on the main street and he finds himself parked in front of the old arcade. He remembers this arcade so clearly. It wasn’t really an arcade, it was a movie theater with some games in the front.

But Dan treated it like an arcade. He spent many afternoons here during the school year and during the summer. He particularly loved the Donkey Kong machine and as he opens his car door, he wonders if the machine is still here.

He gets up and walks towards the front of the dilapidated building and looks at the way the broken glass glistens in the sunlight behind him. The doors are completely broken open and when he looks down at the floor just beyond them, he can see many pieces of glass.

Maybe this wasn’t the best idea for him to come here.

But then he sees it in the distance, the donkey kong game that he used to play every single summer. He laughs to himself and braves the glass as he walks inside and goes over to the dust and cobweb-covered machine.

It probably doesn’t even work still, but he wants to try it out anyway. He pulls the sleeve of his jacket down over his hands and he quickly wipes the screen off and presses some buttons. The machine suddenly boots up and he laughs at the luck. He moves the joystick to the high scores and he feels a hit of nostalgia as he sees that his initials still hold all of the top ten spots.

He kind of wants to see if he can beat his old score. Just for the hell of it. But when he presses all of the buttons, it says he needs to insert one token and he knows that those must be long gone. But he starts to look for them anyway.

He looks beside the machine and on the floor and he looks inside the coin flaps of the machines in case any were left there and never picked up again. He kicks over a few pieces of glass, trying to be careful but still eager to find a token. He suddenly finds one and picks it up, looking it over in the sunlight.

It’s the classic gold token he remembers so much, having to pay a quarter for every token back in the day and his mom only giving him $2 at a time. He used to blow through all of that to play every game for as long as possible but sometimes that didn’t happen and he’d waste his token.

Especially when the bullies started to come more and more frequently. He remembers so vividly one day in particular. It was the summer after everything had happened with it. He came to the arcade every single day to get his mind off from the horrors he experienced and he quickly became a target.

He was called a nerd for a while. Weeb became more and more of an insult. But when the words stopped working, next came the punches and Dan became accustomed to them. They started calling him a ‘fag’ or a ‘homo’ and those were what stung the most.

He would always run to try and avoid them. Normally he ended up in the park across the street because he knew that’s where he could get away from them since the bullies didn’t dare to touch him while he was in front of everyone else.

Dan falls back to the present and looks down at the token in his hand. This has to be the object he needs to give to Joshua. He felt such a strong emotion from it just by picking it up in his hand.

He walks back out of the arcade and sucks in a breath as he sees a red balloon pass by him and continue down the street.

***

Dan winds up in the park by himself, twisting the token in the pocket of his jacket. It’s so empty around here now. It’s like no one even lives here anymore but really who can blame them? After all the horrific shit that happened, he’s surprised anyone stayed at all.

He’s sitting on the bench when he hears footsteps come up to him and he sees Phil standing in front of him, his own hands in his pocket as the cool spring breeze blew through, “Did you find your object?”

Dan nods and pulls out the token from his pocket, “Arcade token.”

Phil nods and takes a seat beside him, “I found mine too. My inhaler.”

“You used to rely on that all of the time,” Dan says with a chuckle. “I remember you wouldn’t go anywhere without it.”

“Did you know I didn’t even need this?” Phil asks, pulling it out of his pocket. “I was told a few years back that I didn’t even have asthma.”

“So what were you even using that for?” Dan asks because surely that’s not healthy.

“Nothing,” Phil says with a laugh. “I was just listening to what my mom told me.”

Dan just nodded and sat there,  silence between them.

“How is your wife doing?” Dan asks because he’s trying to just make polite conversation.

“Oh, we’re not together anymore,” Phil says. “We settled our divorce over a year ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dan says biting his lip.

Phil just shrugs, “She reminded me too much of my mom.”

Dan let out a snort and Phil did too.

“Oh gosh.”

“Plus I just realized something about myself that...well, that made it so it was hard to fully be in love with her.”

Dan bites his lip and tries to not get his hopes up by what Phil means. Of course, Dan would love for his crush to be reciprocated after all of these years but he knows that that won’t ever happen.

“What about you?” Phil asks. “Never did hear much about you once you left.”

“Oh, I never really had any relationships,” Dan says at first. “I put so much focus on my comedy career and it’s finally starting to pay off. I have a big tour coming in the next few months.”

Phil smiles at him, “That’s awesome to hear.”

The wind bustles around them and the sky begins to darken as the night rolls in. Dan didn’t realize he had been out for so long. It feels like only an hour or so has passed.

“Hey, Dan,” Phil says, his voice wavering a bit, “Can I tell you something?”

Dan swallows back his feelings and nods, “Of course you can.”

Phil sucks his lips into a tight line and then opens them as he says, “It’s just...if I die here, I want someone to know this about me so I didn’t live my entire life a lie.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m gay.”

Dan fights back the smile that plays on his lips at Phil’s confession because as soon as the words sink in, Dan feels his tears well up in his eyes as well.  After all, he feels the exact same way. If he dies within the next few days, no one is going to know his secret either.

“Phil, I’m gay too,” Dan says.

Phil turns to him and forces a smile on his lips as a stray tear makes its way down his cheek and Dan fights back the tears that want to spill down his as well. He takes a few deep breaths.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad,” Phil chuckles out with a watery laugh.

Dan just nods and chuckles as well, “You’re the only person who knows.”

“You too, for me,” Phil says. “I haven’t told anyone else yet.”

The sun sets a bit lower and Dan feels his phone buzz in his pocket. Just as he grabbed at his, Phil grabbed at his own as well and sighed.

“It’s from Joshua,” Phil answers. “They all have their objects and are at the hotel so we should go too.”

“So this is really happening then?” Dan says, his voice wavering more. “We’re really going to finally kill this thing then?”

Phil nods, “I guess so.”

They stand up from the bench and make their way back to the main street. They round the corner towards the arcade and Dan sees his car is still sitting there. A single red balloon is floating next to the driver’s side window.

Dan takes a deep breath and he looks at Phil next to him as he takes one as well. As they walk towards the car, their hands brush for a second and Dan fights back the tears as he realizes that this may be the last time he can have a conversation like this with Phil.

Because they may not be alive after tonight.

Dan just prays to whatever God that is above that they can finally finish this battle tonight, kill the thing that’s been torturing them, and make it out alive. Because he wants to be able to see Phil on the other side.

And as Phil looks at him too, and their hands suddenly intertwine without either of them initiating it, Dan realizes there is nothing he wants more than to get revenge and move on with his life.

It’s time.

[wallofweird]

This Is Us Q&A

Thanks @madsdefencesquad for tagging me. :)

1. The first character I first fell in love with:

Dr. Nathan Katowski. He just seemed to be such a charismatic, generous, wise and kind person and the way he comforted those two nervous young people (Jack and Rebecca) who were entering parenthood for the very first time was simply beautiful. Specially because nowadays some doctors are so arrogant and cold that make you feel so bad to the point of almost apologizing for needing their care (not most though, we have real life heroes out there on the front line of the COVID-19 pandemic and I’m forever thankful for them!). Anyway, it was pleasant to see a character with so much heart. Now the first regular character I fell in love with was Randall. He was just so relatable and Sterling and the writers really managed to show all the affliction he kept inside from early on. All the things he had accumulated through the years, with the questions about his biological parents, his identity, finding out that William was dying the same day he met him and everything... Even before we got to dive into that story, you could see it in his eyes. And I empathized with him immediately.

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Kevin. I used to find him very annoying and self-centered and now I’m eating my words, but I guess that’s always been the writers intention: to show a character that came off as really shallow and immature and slowly change our minds about him. It definitely worked. My opinion about him started to change on the ‘Number One’ episode. It broke my heart to see what he was going through, specially when he lost the only thing he had left from Jack. That was hard to watch. And now that I’m rewatching the show, I can get his actions a lot better now and see that a lot of the stuff I used to hate came from his insecurities. So I’ve changed my mind about his behavior on the first episodes and I’m enjoying seeing him back then as well. I can see the bigger picture now.

3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:

Cassidy. I don’t really believe there’s a consensus about her, it looks like the opinions are pretty balanced, but I’m not a fan of her. I wouldn’t say I hate Cassidy, but I don’t really like her. Like, the other characters can get me to laugh and cry so easily, but she doesn’t make me feel anything? She looks kind of cold to me, which I can understand it probably has something to with being in the military and the things she had to experience and do, but even with the whole drama with her son and husband... It's just never given me the same emotion I use to get from the other characters. Also, I really wanted the first half of the season to be only about Kevin and his uncle, but they threw a stranger in it and played with the idea of putting Kevin and Cassidy together the whole time. I just wanted to see their dynamic without anybody’s interference, specially because I haven’t got the point of her presence yet. I believe Kevin and Nicky would’ve done just fine in their journey to sobriety without her and I don’t really think the woman will marry any of them. I hope there’s something bigger planned for her that will explain her addition to the show, because I don’t really get it. So far it just looks like she’s there to mislead us with the whole “who is Kevin’s wife?” mystery.

4. The character I love that everyone else hates:

Madison. I wouldn’t say everybody hates her, for me the public has mixed opinions about her? I’ve seen people who hate her, who are indifferent, who like her and think she’s funny and people who love her. However, I do believe she deserves more praise. I think she’s kind of in the same situation Kevin used to be a few years ago. A lot of people have a pre-fabricated idea of Madison and see her as someone shallow and immature. Madison has always been there for Kate, even when she was nothing but rude to her. When Kate hit her car (I know it was accidentally, but still), Madison got over it the second she learned Kate was pregnant. She immediately forgot about her car and was filled with nothing but joy after hearing the news. Madison also helped Kate to enjoy the process of finding her wedding dress, staying positive with her second pregnancy after the previous miscarriage... She’s been there through thick and thin. And she is so loving, selfless and strong that was willing to raise her twins and go through all of that by herself to avoid getting in the way of Kevin finding his great love story. How can somebody not admire that? Even if you don’t like her, because that’s understandable and sometimes a character just doesn’t resonate with us, there’s absolutely no reason to hate or criticize her personality and actions. Madison is very underrated, but she is an amazing person. I just don’t understand why people have changed their minds about Kevin after seeing his struggles and evolution, but won’t do the same with her. The only difference here is the amount of screentime they have and the gender, because they’re both great people. I really don’t get it.

5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

One of the great things about this show is that I’ve never stopped loving any of the characters. There are characters I don’t really like, there are characters that have grown on me, but the opposite has never happen. However, I am a little angry with Randall and Kevin after that fight. I won’t defend any of them. They were both terrible to each other. 

I get where they’re both coming from when it comes to how they deal with Rebecca’s health. It’s understandable wanting to save your mother. It’s understandable wanting her to enjoy the time she has left. There is no right or wrong decision in these situations. And a lot of how they deal with it comes from their personalities and traumas. They both have this hole in their lives because of losing Jack. Randall blames himself and thinks about what life would’ve been if he hadn’t died every single day. His anxiety also plays a role in how he process everything. It’s consuming. On the other hand, Kevin regrets not having spent as much time with his father as he could’ve had. He’s also already gone through therapy, is a year sober and attending the AA meetings regularly... He can see things more clearly than Randall right now. So I don’t judge either of them for how they approach to the situation. Still, Randall should’ve respected Rebecca’s decision. Period. He was selfish and I can’t defend what he did. I can understand why he did it and I didn’t really see it as him manipulating his mother, for me it was more of a desperate moment, when he was telling Rebecca he cannot handle losing her. Not that Kevin and Kate can handle losing their mother, but he’s clearly overwhelmed with the whole situation, while Kevin and Kate are at a better mental state and looking at things with more serenity.

However, regarding their fight, Kevin’s got some fault too. I’m sure they didn’t mean anything they said to one another, they just happened to know each other’s deepest wounds and wanted to rub them. It was painful to watch. Kevin knows Randall feels guilty for letting Jack walk back into the house. Randall knows Kevin feels guilty for not being there. Kevin knows Randall have never felt liked he completely fitted in, because he was abandoned by his biological father and adopted only after Rebecca and Jack lost a child. He’s always felt a little lost or as a replacement to Kyle. And Randall knows Kevin is self-conscious and feels like people don’t take him seriously or believe he can be responsible. It was heartbreaking and cruel. And I’m rewatching season 1 and recently saw the episode where they finally begin to grow closer and there is this scene where Randall says:

“[Mom] showered me with attention. Took my side more often than not. And I ate every bit of her love up. Ate it up like Pac-Man. You know why? Because the one person I wanted it from the mo..

[...]

You know, back there with those people, it's the first time in 36 years you've said the words, ‘he's my brother’, [as] claiming me.”

I’ve also just finished the episode where it shows young Randall having a nervous breakdown and Kevin ignoring him. Kevin and Randall did have some good moments growing up, but for most of it they weren’t close and Randall was the one who tried the harder to change that. It took them over 30 years to get to a place where they finally acted like brothers on a regular basis and now they have both ruined all of that progress. So I can’t really pick sides and blame one of them when it comes to that fight. They were both terrible. However, I’m just a little more disappointed with Randall because he interfered in Rebecca’s decision.

6. The character I would totally smooch:

Kevin. Justin Hartley just happens to be on my Male Celebrity Crush Top 2, so...

7. The character I’d want to be like:

Beth. She’s smart, successful, funny, wise and beautiful, I’d like to have at least 30% of that awesomeness. 

8. The character I’d slap:

Marc.

9. A pairing that I love:

Jack and Rebecca. Their love story, even with its ups and downs, remains epic. One for the ages, indeed. 

Still, I really miss a slowburn ship. We’ve had Jack and Rebecca, Kate and Toby, Randall and Beth since the very beginning. They were all love at first sight. They got together pretty quickly. I miss a ship that I can see go through all of those basic stages, like meeting, becoming friends and falling in love. I miss seeing a character pining for another and being a little bit jealous of them. I miss watching the scenes with the lingering looks, deep breaths, both staring at each other when the other isn’t noticing... All this tension building up until the moment it just explodes. Like, give me angst scenes! Give me a scene where they are hugging so tight and not wanting to let go and Character A can’t resist it anymore and kisses character B as if their his/her depended on it. Give me rain kisses. Give me character A pining for character B, but doubting that B feels the same way. Give me B being just as insanely in love as A and feeling frustrated whenever they’re around someone else. Give me character B being unconsciously jealous and fighting with character A. Give me A blurting out that he/she is in love with B and a passionate kiss. I know it’s cliché, but there is a reason why everyone loves scenes like these: they work. And This Is Us needs stuff like that. Hopefully Kevin and Madison can fill this gap, since I’m already in love with their potential. ;)

10. A pairing that I despise:

Kevin and Sophie. I genuinely have nothing against Sophie, she is a good person and she deserves happiness. If anything, Kevin was the one who wronged her. However, I can’t help sighing and rolling my eyes whenever she shows up or her name is mentioned on the show. I’m just tired at this point. I’ve never saw the appeal of it. I’m usually a slowburn kind of shipper, but I still have my ‘love at first sight’ otps. This one, however, never really convinced me. First, I don’t see the chemistry at all (in any timeline). Second, he’s cheated on her twice. Plus, the second time they were together, Kevin had fallen back into drinking and she didn’t even realize the seriousness of the situation. I’m not saying it was her fault or responsibility, because that’s a real problem and what Kevin needed was professional help. Also, he lied to her and broke Sophie’s heart again in the process, so I can empathize with her. Still, the fact that Sophie couldn’t see what was going on and they were never able to go through it together, whether it was his treatment, or the long distance or any real obstacle just proves to me they don’t work. They simply couldn’t work together. And Kevin has moved on. He moved on from her and genuinely fell in love with Zoe. They broke up because they wanted different things, but their relationship was real. So, the way I see it, the fact that he suddenly wants another ‘crack at it’ with Sophie, it’s just a result of his frustration. Kevin is so desperate to have his own great love story and children, that he is trying to get it from strangers on coffee shops or any ex-girlfriend that will reach out to him. He’s not thinking things through, but hopefully he will let life takes it course and find find them naturally, without forcing anything or insisting on relationships that have proved multiple times that weren’t the right fit for him. I also don’t really like when characters appear with the solely purpose to be someone’s love interest, I like seeing them in their own element and their dynamic with other characters. Like, even though each Pearson has their immediate family, we’ve seen bits of Beth and Rebecca, Toby and Kevin, Beth and Zoe, Kate and Madison (who at this point I’m pretty sure is Kevin’s fiancée)... Sophie wasn’t fully integrated into the family during their second attempt at a relationship, so that’s another reason for me not to like this ship.

I don’t wanna tag anyone specifically because I’m afraid I might forget someone, so anyone who wants to do this thing, just go for it. I’d love to see your answers. :)

[razorblade180]

OC Test: Strength

With only the use of hands and semblances, test each other in combat in any way you see fit.

Valerie:*Smirking* anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?

Everybody forms a circle around Carmine almost immediately.

Carmine:So that’s how you wanna play this huh? Should’ve figured as much.

Valerie:Blame yourself for proclaiming to be the strongest.

Carmine:I hope you know this is an automatic loss for me right? Even I can’t beat all nine of you at once. From what I’ve seen all of you are tough people.

Sienna:Let me guess, you’re just the toughest is that right?

Summer:Anyone else concerned that she doesn’t look scared?

Lucas:Not really, I can hear her heart rate increase.

Carmine:*glares at him* So what if it is? Maybe I’m just getting excited.

Jacquelyn:I say we make this a little fair. For example......

With a stomp of her foot roots and plants start to spread until a lush forest is made.

Jacquelyn:There, that’s all the fighting you’ll get at of me. Use the forest as an area to make things a bit more fair. Everyone rushing her right here does seem drastic. Also if someone says “uncle” or knocked out then they lose.

Jael:That seems like a nice handicap. Also I think we should give her a head start into the forest.

Yujin:Oooo it’s like reverse tag almost. All of us trying to corner one person.

Tenzen:Pretty sure that’s just Pac-Man; I’m done with it.

Valerie:Yeah whatever, we’re still going to win without a real problem.

Carmine:You know what, I’ll give you guys a handicap too.

Nick:Umm why does that make me concerned? I thought we were the ones helping her out?

Carmine:I will not use my semblance on anyone. If I do then I’ll tell you who my parents are. Hell, beat me and I might become a little bit more open.

Everyone:Deal!!!!!

Carmine:(That was easy....)

Jacquelyn:Alright you crazy kids, scatter!!!

*ten minutes later*

Carmine stands right in the middle of the forest with her eyes closed. She waits patiently for the first person to show up.

Carmine:(I’m currently equal distance from any direction inside the forest. They’re smart and probably picked different entry points; possibly even split into teams of two. That wouldn’t be difficult if I could fight them quietly. No weapons help but it’s still gonna get noisy and that will attract the rest.)

The wind blows calmly through her hair and she opens her eyes to look around the area.

Carmine:(Hiding would make sense but I’m sure Lucas and Sienna could hear me move around regardless of how careful I am. They most likely know where I am and that means four people to fight almost immediately. Tenzen is probably with Yujin and would rush over here in a second. That makes six in the worse case scenario. Man, I wonder how mom would handle this? All out attack most likely with thinking on your feet.

.........

Carmine:(No wonder Jacquelyn opted out, I have my hands full and I haven’t even factored the twins yet. Maybe I should just tell them who I am? Valerie would still want to fight but the others might blow this thing off. Why is it so important that they know I’m-)

Suddenly Tenzen appears right in front of her fully powered up and going for a roundhouse kick. Before it connects she ducks and sweeps his leg, causing him to fall. Not wasting time she pins his arm behind him.

Tenzen:You actually dodged that! I’d geek out if this didn’t hurt so much. *wincing*

Carmine:(That closer than I liked. He’s pretty fast.) Say uncle Or I’ll break it dude after the test it will heal anyways so I have no problem snapping it.

Tenzen:Sorry, can’t make it that easy for you. Everyone is dying to know who you are.

Carmine:Why is this so important to everyone? I don’t get it in the slightest. *tightens grip*

Tenzen:Because we look up to you!

Carmine:......

Tenzen:We barely know you but we can tell that you’re the bar we all want to reach. We might not take all this experience in our actual worlds but when we are it’s something we want to have. You’re inspiring Carmine.

Carmine:.......Last chance to give up before you lose an arm.

Tenzen:Sorry, I can’t give up now.

Carmine:I know you can’t, but Yujin can. You hear me!? Say uncle or I’ll break his arm!

......

Carmine:I hope you’re not right handed.

Yujin:*runs out of the bushes* Uncle!!!! Don’t break it.

Tenzen:Yujin!

Yujin:I panicked okay!? Besides...*smirks* I already did my part.

Carmine:What are you- *sees a shadow*

Without looking up she immediately jumped out the way as trees started to fall like rain. Jael had all the ammo she needed as she floated right above the forest and continued to chuck trees down at Carmine. Staying in the middle was no longer a viable option so took off running.

Carmine:That semblance is gonna be a problem. I better-

Tenzen:*running next to her* Sup.... *kicks her*

Carmine:Not a bad plan. I can’t run away, Jael is watching from above, and the sound of falling trees definitely alerted the others. Why make Yujin give up though?

Tenzen:She said her heart wasn’t in it. Didn’t mind throwing in the towel after she did her small part. I think you’ve grown on her the most.

Carmine:(Yeah well it goes both ways)

Tenzen:The rest of us though....

Valerie and the others show up surrounding her again.

Sienna:We’re really motivated to see what you can do. Time to put your money where your mouth is.

Carmine:.......

Carmine:Screw it, I gave up......

Everybody:WHAT!?

Nick:You won’t even try!?

Carmine:Try what? See how long it takes before I’m pinned to the ground? I have no weapon or semblance at my disposal; I was doomed from the start in all honesty. Just wanted to get a sense of how all of operate.

Tenzen:*powers down* Man I guess that makes sense. I was so ready to-

He gets knocked out cold with a kick that sends him into a tree by Carmine. Before anyone registers the attack she lunges at Nicholas and throw him into Jael; knocking her out the sky. Summer gets pulled in a head lock and immediately tries to gasp for air..

Sienna:Jael! *runs to her*

Valerie:What the hell you-

Carmine:Didn’t say Uncle. Should’ve listened carefully. Now say it before Summer passes out from lack of oxygen.

Summer:*already turning blue*

Valerie:Lucas! Shouldn’t you have seen this coming!?

Lucas:Let’s assume I did see this coming. Do you think you could’ve reacted fast enough to stop her? Sometimes not knowing and being on guard is better than thinking everything is accounted for. I will say that this was unexpected.

Carmine:Uh I think Summer is getting a little sleepy over here.

Valerie: Sigh...Uncle....

Carmine:Cool, *lets go* sorry for being rough with you.

Summer:*coughing* What kind of strength!? How are you so strong?

Carmine:My world doesn’t play nice. Can you please do me a favor and say-

Summer:Uncle.... that goes for me and Nick.

Nick:*getting up* No way, I still have plenty of fight left! *summons Arma Gigas’s sword*

Carmine:(Well that’s unique....)

Sienna:.....*holding Jael* You okay?

Jael:Yep, just dizzy is all. That hurts when you’re not suspecting it. Can’t remember the last time I fell out of sky. *holds head* Still hurts like hell. Starting to think we’re out of our depth.

Sienna:What!? The four of us vs her is still easy.

Jael:Perhaps, but honestly I can’t keep up with you on a good day. *gets up* it’s funny, she’s not much older than me but I can already feel gap between us. If I had my sword then my odds may be different, at least a little.

Carmine:You’re selling yourself short. I don’t think you realize just how tough you are. I’m actually worried about you the most. Gravity is no joke.

Jael:I’d shake your hand right now if I wasn’t seeing two of you. *sits down* Sorry sis, fighting like this would be reckless; uncle....

Sienna:....Well I’m still going for it. *cracks knuckles* You just take a break.

Lucas:I’ll help you out. * jumps back*

Nick:Three against one it is then.

Carmine:Lucky me.....

Both Jael and Summer move out the way to Valerie to let three try their luck. The two felines rush in at the same time was claws out. Lucas goes high while Sienna goes low; each firing off kicks and slashes simultaneously. Carmine bobs and weaves frantically away from the two while constantly being blocked by glyphs. She tries to back up but is blocked by another one and is double uppercutted. They try to follow up with right and left swipes but Carmine catches the attack; pulling them together harshly and kicking them back.

Carmine:*rubs chin* Can anyone explain how three people from different worlds work together like old friends.

Sienna:Simple, I do what I want and commit to it. *jumps and kicks were right*

Lucas:I see it ahead of time and attack accordingly. *falling with a left kick*

Carmine:*jumps back* Tsk....

Nick:All I do is make up the difference.*stabs sword in the ground*

Glyphs close in around her with her two main opponents inside. Before she can react, both of them slam her into glyph and hold onto her limbs. Everyone on the outside unable to see.

Lucas:I found it weird that you chose to not be able to use your semblance.

Carmine:Makes things too easy, trust me.

Lucas:Or it’s a dead giveaway on who you are.

Carmine:.....

Sienna:I’ll tell you what, both of us don’t want to win this way and nobody can see us right now. So cut loose already.....

Lucas:We won’t tell if you do.....

Carmine:Yeah but.....*groans*

Red aura glows from her as the ground trembles. Both of her opponents let go calmly and brace themselves for a fight.

Carmine:You sure about this?

Sienna and Lucas:Bring it on!

*minutes pass*

Valerie:Can you see what’s happening?

Nick:No but I think-

The glyphs break and a wave of pressure flies out. Carmine is seen standing while the other two lay on the ground tired but happy.

Sienna:It’s over....give up Nicholas. We already did.

Nick:Seriously!? But she looked like she was on the ropes and- ah screw it. Fine I give up, Uncle.

Carmine:Sweet, glad that’s finally over. Let’s get out of this place.

•

Jacquelyn:You all lost!?

Everyone:Yeah.....

Valerie:Some of us didn’t get to try for real! *huffs*

Tenzen:Yeah, not my finest moment either. That kick was something else.

Jacquelyn:I guess you’re still a woman of mystery aye Carmine? We’ll get you next time.

Everyone:Thanks for the match! *bows*

Carmine:You all aren’t gonna stop trying are you?

Yujin:Of course not! One day we’re gonna prove to you that we can keep up! You better be ready Carmine! *smiles*

Carmine:......

Carmine:Don’t hold your breath. Keeping up with the one and only Carmine Arc-Rose is something not everyone can say. *walks away*

Nobody says anything, almost like they didn’t hear her for a moment. Then then next minute all heads whip around to see her laying down with her eyes closed and a contact case on her stomach. Like she didn’t just say what everyone was waiting for.

Everyone:.....*smiles* Nice to meet you Carmine Arc-Rose.

Carmine:Zzzzzzz

[yoshichao]

the Smashers and their Host Ch13 Preview

Series: Super Smash Bros.

Characters: Reader, Literally Everyone In Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Summary:  You're an inter-dimensional being that owns a huge estate situated on the cusp of spacetime. You've been asked to rent out your mansion for the upcoming Super Smash Bros. tournament. What could possibly go wrong?

Tags: Reader-Insert, Romantic & Platonic Harem, Comedy, Fluff, No Smut

Read the fic here!

[So after a year, I finally finished chapter 11... During my writer’s block, I actually started on what was then going to be chapter 12, but I’ve seen then squeezed another chapter between them in the plans. So, if all goes according to plan, this will be May’s update. Anyways, I feel like posting it so!! It’s not as meaty as the chapter 11 preview - this one is only about 2k words instead of a whopping 13k - but I hope you enjoy regardless!]

You can’t help but stare as the roller coaster above slowly reaches its peak before plummeting downwards, accompanied by a chorus of screams. Just watching the cars zip through loops and corkscrews makes your head spin, and you find yourself grateful that you aren’t on that particular ride. You don’t know if your heart could take it.

The repairs at the mansion finished with accompanying fanfare (well, in your head, at least) and you thought you’d be able to sit back and relax for a bit. Your new life had other plans, of course, and the Smashers were absolutely insatiable, so you had been invited to join them to an amusement park. Honestly, you should have declined - you wanted to! - but…

“Pleaaaaase?” Roy had been the one to ask you to join them, giving you puppy dog eyes as he held the brochure out. The park was in a place called Nimbasa City - recently expanded! grand re-opening! - which you recognized as a place in the Pokemon universe. 

“You know you can go without me, right?” you tried, still feeling worn out from all the Social Activities and babysitting you’ve been doing lately. The other day, you found DK using Pac-man as a bowling ball to “prank” anyone wandering the halls. Then the following day, you’re pretty sure Villager and Toon Link had a slingshot competition with the mansions’ windows. And then the day after that, Leaf helped you play detective to find out who was stealing all the speakers throughout the mansion, just to find Diddy Kong using them to create a “gaming set-up fit for a king”. 

Why.

Completely oblivious to your weariness, Roy’s expression remained enthusiastic, even when he gave you a mock-frown. “Sure, but, you said we would hang out together next time everyone was doing something!”

“I did?”

“Yeah, you did!”

Oh right, you did. You did say that after he wasn’t invited to the sleepover. Curse you and your desire to keep everyone happy! Now you have to go!

And so, after someone consulted Master Hand about building a temporary transporter directly to Nimbasa City, here you are.

“Whoa, it’s even cooler than in the pictures!” Roy, determined to take you up on your offer to spend time together, arrived via teleporter alongside you. While the mansion has been abuzz over another multiverse outing, you have no idea who actually intended on going. It’s already midday, so there are probably plenty of Smashers already here…

Pulling your gaze away from the roller coaster, you notice that your redheaded companion was also staring intently at the Rayquaza-themed deathtrap. His expression is strained, leading you to believe the both of you are thinking the same thing.

“Why don’t we start with getting something to eat?” you suggest, thinking of the safest option possible. Oh, but if you end up going on rides with a full stomach… Hm, maybe that’s not as safe as you thought. But Roy eagerly takes your suggestion and you have no choice but to follow him to the food court.

“That’s a great idea! I’m dying to see what kind of food this world has!”

You can’t help but agree, but his words have curiosity bubbling within you. “Have you never visited the Pokemon world before?”

“Only once, during Melee!” His grin is almost infectious, though it mellows out as he continues talking. “We never came out here during the last tournament season! ...Or at least, not while I was around.” Roy frowns a moment before putting on another smile, though this one seems a bit more forced. “Melee’s whole thing though was that we were travelling to a new universe for each round of the tournament. For the Pokemon world though, we took a blimp to the stadium, so we didn’t really get to explore…”

That’s right - you forgot Roy was technically only invited to one full tournament, so he wouldn’t have had as much time to relax and travel around with the others. It was only by popular demand that he was invited for the “extra” tournaments, appearing alongside Ryu as a secret opponent for the champions of the mini doubles tournament. They’d both go on to appear in the remaining tournaments and random matchups of the season. While that would have given him a few months to participate in fun activities with the others, you have to imagine a lot of that slows down during tournament season.

“But, a few Smashers and I snuck out between matches to check out the local town.” Roy continues his story sheepishly, smiling fondly at the memory. “And then we uh, went a bit too far… got lost in a cave… We made it back just in time for our next match, but Master Hand really gave us an earful…” He laughs awkwardly, and you find yourself snickering at the idea of Master Hand panicking when he discovered some of his hotshot superstars have gone missing. 

“Who all went with you?”

He counts them off on his fingers as he lists everyone. “Me, Pichu, Young Link, Popo, Nana... oh, and Ness. Pikachu ended up being the one who found us lost in the cave.”

You can just imagine the six of them running in circles trying to find the exit, just to have Pikachu show up and use its familiarity of the region to lead them out in mere minutes. 

...Huh. Funny, most of those six are Smashers that didn’t get invited back every year afterwards. And you remember there had once been rumours that Ness wasn’t going to be invited back to Brawl…

...Eh, probably just a coincidence. Master Hand wouldn’t exclude someone over an incident like that.

“I’m surprised Pikachu didn’t try to get you even more lost on purpose,” you say offhandedly. Roy’s expression is surprisingly contemplative.

“Nah, Pikachu used to be cool back then. Like, sure he liked to hype up the crowd, but outside of matches he was really chill.” He pauses. “I was surprised to find out he kind of became a jerk. Apparently he’s just been that way since the start of Brawl.”

“Really?” And here you thought the first tournament had been the catalyst to its inflated ego, where the electric rodent had won both the singles and the doubles tournaments that season. Pikachu’s record during Melee was pretty average… maybe something else happened between that and Brawl? An event none of the Smashers would have known about? 

Roy shrugs - he’s just in the dark about it as you are - and you notice you’ve arrived at the food court, signalling the end of the conversation. You spot a Pansage, a Panpour, and a Pansear behind a long counter. Pansage takes orders and hands them to the other two monkeys, who then proceed to rush around unnecessarily chaotically to put the order together. This seems like the type of environment where mistakes are easily made, but a lot of people seem to be eating food from here, so apparently they know what they’re doing…?

You end up ordering a Rawst Burger and a lemonade, while Roy gets a corn dog and a soda pop. On your way to finding somewhere to sit, you spot Falco getting his hot dog stolen by the Duck Hunt Dog. You’re glad he’s too far to notice you laughing.

“Look, there’s space at that table!” Your attention is brought back to Roy, who is pointing at a table with only one other person sitting at it. Coincidentally, the spiky blond haired dude there is someone you recognize as part of the Smash crew. Roy takes longer to recognize him - it’s not until you’ve both rounded the table to sit across from the swordsman that he addresses him.

“Oh hey, you’re that guy… uh, Rain, was it?”

When the blond looks up and you see his face, an involuntary snort arises from your throat as you try to hold back laughter.

“It’s Cloud. Cloud Strife.” Apparently they offer facepainting somewhere at the park, because Cloud’s face is covered in ink that resembles a bunny. When combined with his completely serious expression, you have to hide a smile behind your hand as you sit down. 

“Right, that’s it. I knew that.” Roy sits next to you, raising an eyebrow at the swordsman across from you two. “What’s on your face?”

“It’s a rabbit.”

“I guess someone is offering facepainting somewhere?” you clarify helpfully, and Roy’s face lights up in recognition.

“Oh! That sounds fun.” He looks to you with enthusiasm. “Hey, what animal do you think I should get? Heh, probably something fierce, like a lion, or--”

“A puppy,” you reply without hesitation, interrupting his own ideas. Roy looked shocked at your suggestion - almost even offended. Whoops. 

“A-A puppy? Not like… a bigger dog? A wolf, maybe…?”

“I think a puppy would suit you as well,” Cloud agrees. Roy’s jaw drops as he’s left struggling for an objection, but Cloud moves the conversation before he can say anything. “They also do portraits - look.”

He hands you a large rolled up piece of canvas paper that you’ve been curious about for awhile now before returning to picking at his funnel cake (mm, you gotta get one of those later). Roy leans into your personal space to take a look as you unroll it.

Oh my. That is certainly a caricature. 

Roy almost immediately lets out a laugh. “Wo-ow! That would explain your face.”

The canvas blocks your vision so you can’t see Cloud’s face, but you can hear him exhale deeply. Rolling the portrait back up, you place it down on the table.

“I like the style! The art is very clean.” You’ve seen a lot of skill levels in the art found in your mansion, so it’s pretty easy to think outside of “bad” and “good”. Then of course, there’s your own art to consider… yeesh. “I think the artist really captured your character.”

“That’s what I thought,” Cloud responds with a nod, relaxing in the seat. Roy snorts beside you, and you refrain from elbowing him quiet in favour of shooting him a wry look.

“What, you think you could do better?”

Your challenge seems to actually take him off guard, and he fumbles to regain his confidence. “Uh… pfft. Of course. Anyone could do that.” He tries to laugh confidently, but there’s a clear nervous edge to it. Refusing to show him mercy, you play along by feigning amazement.

“Really? Wow, I’d love to see that. Maybe we should have an art show back at the mansion! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“O-Ooh, I mean… You really think people would be interested in that…?”

Cloud recognizes the game you are playing and chimes in with an immediate “I would”. You do a gesture as if to say “see??”, smiling bright and devious until his resolve finally breaks.

“F-Fine! I’ll do it! But don’t say I didn’t warn you, cuz I’m… really good!!” His voice shakes with anxiety at the end, and it takes all you have not to burst out laughing. This is good. This is so good. You’ll have to file this “art show” idea away for down the road, so you can spring it on him again unexpectedly. Although, torture and humiliation aside, you actually suddenly are curious if any of the Smashers are secretly artists. 

“Yes! I’m looking forward to it!” With a grin, you end the conversation by finally picking up your burger and taking a bite into it. Huh, it tastes… fruity. Bitter. Wait, that must be because there are Rawst Berries used in it. Guess you should have seen this coming. You don’t hate it, but the taste has definitely taken you off-guard and you’re not sure you like the mix of meat and berry. 

You must have been making a face because Cloud slides his funnel cake plate halfway across the table. “Here. I probably won’t finish it anyways.”

Forgetting about his previous worries, Roy smiles and reaches for the plate. “Ooh, don’t mind if I do--” To his dismay, Cloud hits his hand away.

“I didn’t offer it to you.”

Roy looks torn. You’d feel bad for him if it wasn’t so funny. Likewise, you usually try to politely decline gifts so as to not seem greedy, but you are enjoying having fun at Roy’s expense. “Thanks!” You put down the burger and reach for a piece of the doughy, sugary treat. Ripping it off, you pop it in your mouth and audibly hum in delight. Hehe, you’re a real devil!! If you wanted to be really mean, you could mention how sad it is that Roy can’t know how good this is, but you are not that cruel. Not right now, at least.

Between stealing chunks of funnel cake and continuing to try finishing the burger (nnnnnope, still tastes weird!), you let your mind wander to thoughts regarding the swordsman across from you. Back in the day, Cloud was a popular request to join the tournament despite existing extremely far away from the bubble of universes Master Hand typically picked from. When he was announced as a surprise participant in the final Super Smash Bros. 4 season tournament, fans exploded with excitement. You were honestly surprised to see him on the list for the Ultimate roster - you hear that Cloud Strife is a tough guy to work with and that’s why he doesn’t make many multiverse appearances despite his popularity. Not even the heads of the more local Playstation All-Stars tournament could get him. Master Hand must have really pulled some strings to get him to participate in Smash not once, but twice.

[...and that is unfortunately all I have. See you next month for chapter 12!]

[calzona-ga]

There was a lot to unpack in Grey's Anatomy's return.

Picking up exactly where we left off in the finale, the season 16 opener, titled "Nothing Left to Cling To," addressed all the biggest cliffhangers -- the most notable being Jackson's (Jesse Williams) whereabouts. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long, as the premiere revealed that he didn't disappear into the fog to abandon Maggie (Kelly McCreary), but was instead helping a wife save her unconscious husband. That aside, Maggie and Jackson were forced to face the harsh reality that their relationship was very much on its last legs, and Jackson broke up with his girlfriend in the most brutal way possible, calling their relationship "broken" beyond repair.

In classic Grey's fashion, however, their breakup led Jackson to find solace in Station 19 firefighter Vic (Barrett Doss), who, by the way, is still grieving the death of her fiance. And that wasn't the only major move from the episode: Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) is sentenced to hundreds of hours of community service, with her medical license now in jeopardy. Amelia (Caterina Scorsone) discovers she's pregnant with Link's (Chris Carmack) baby. Richard (James Pickens Jr.) and Alex (Justin Chambers) are now working at a low-rate, competing hospital following their firings. Teddy (Kim Raver) is stuck between a rock and a hard place with an unconventional love triangle with Owen (Kevin McKidd) and Tom (Greg Germann).

"The biggest challenge was figuring out how we were going to follow through on the firings," showrunner Krista Vernoff tells ET. "Having Bailey fire Richard and Alex and Meredith -- one of the originals firing the other three originals was a pretty bold move and we wanted to make sure that we played it through with real consequences and dramatic stakes, and I think we've done that successfully."

With another season of Grey's officially up and running, ET spoke with Vernoff about the biggest moves from Thursday's premiere, from Meredith's dangerous new reality to Maggie and Jackson's devastating breakup to the surprising new romance between Jackson and Vic to Amelia's surprise pregnancy.

ET: Right off the bat, there have been a lot of changes on Grey's Anatomy. In the aftermath of Bailey firing Meredith, Alex and Richard, how is Bailey handling the new Grey Sloan? And how are Alex and Richard adapting to working at Pacific Northwest? Krista Vernoff: I'm always looking to keep the show fresh and alive. That is a complicated challenge, 16 seasons and over 300 episodes in. When we came up with the idea of Pac North Hospital taking our doctors [Alex and Richard,] and letting them be the fish out of water, they're big fish in a small pond. They're highly skilled, talented surgeons who are used to working with the best support staff imaginable at a well-funded, great functioning hospital. Now they find themselves in a really crappy hospital that needs to be turned around. That felt like a real challenge both for the characters and for the actors. It lets them play something new and it's been joyful to have Jim [Pickens Jr.] and Justin [Chambers] working together this season in that capacity.

How has Alex and Richard's working relationship changed in this new environment as they face new situations? Alex is once again Richard's boss, which is a strange dynamic considering the origin story of the show. It's a very strange thing for Richard to have to answer to Alex and yet, they're in this together. Alex offered him a new opportunity to create a new legacy: Help me turn this place around. So, they're really working together in the early part of this season to do something that feels unimaginable and unachievable, and yet they're unstoppable because they're so determined in their own way to prove Bailey wrong for firing them.

The Jackson cliffhanger was reconciled relatively quickly, but led to Maggie and Jackson's breakup. Was this a long time coming for these characters? I feel like it was a long time coming. I felt like Maggie and Jackson had a fight that very nearly broke them up in [the seventh] episode [last season]. And so, by the time they were having that fight in [the finale], it felt to me like they were saying things that they couldn't really come back from. I love both of these actors and I love their work together as a couple, and I'm loving their work together as a couple with a bad and difficult breakup. It's all exciting.

When Jackson is breaking up with Maggie, he says, "What's broken is us." Do you think they are beyond repair? Maggie and Jackson, they've had a really painful breakup. It is painful to break up period, but when you break up when your parents are married to each other, which means you've got to stay in each other's sphere, and you work together in the same hospital, which means you've got to see each other every day and one of you has jumped immediately into something new, that is not easy. I'm not going to pretend that it gets easy anytime soon.

You mentioned one of them moves on very quickly. There is a bit of a time jump in the episode after the breakup, but Jackson shows immediate interest in Station 19's Vic. Why did you want to introduce that potential new romance so soon? I think that it's human behavior. Often we comfort ourselves with something new when we've been through something painful. It happens with great frequency and I'm interested in exploring the edges of human behavior. I'm interested in exploring people not behaving well all the time. People prioritizing their impulse over someone else's feelings, I think is human and makes great TV.

What can we expect for them moving forward? It's a little bit of a slow build. The decision-making around it was a gut feeling. It was just a gut feeling. I knew that it was time for Maggie and Jackson to break up at the end of last season. I took over Station 19 and was looking at all the moving pieces and I just had a feeling about these two. And so, we tried it and the whole storyline is exciting to me. The complexity of it all is really interesting. It's been a long time since Grey's had a break-up this messy.

Moving on to Meredith's legal limbo. She sort of gets off with a slap on the wrist after committing insurance fraud. Why did you decide to have her avoid jail time? I see. That's what you mean by a neat bow, that she didn't have to go to jail. Well, this is Meredith's story. For the first third of our season is dealing with the fallout of the decision she made at the end of last season. She got several hundred hours of community service. She didn't get a cushy clinic gig, she got picking up trash on the side of the road, and now the medical board is coming after her license. So, this definitely gets more complicated for Meredith -- who is not a rule follower -- before it gets any better.

Does this affect DeLuca's standing at Grey Sloan? Definitely. DeLuca and Meredith are a couple at this moment, and Meredith has been fired from the hospital. Everybody has different feelings about that and they don't necessarily have access to Meredith to discuss those feelings. It definitely puts a little bit of conflict between DeLuca and Bailey, and complicates his job.

Amelia also discovers she's pregnant with Link's child. She has a complicated history with pregnancies and losing a child. What are you excited to explore as she embarks on this new journey this season? I love the character of Amelia. I love her really complicated history. I love her emotional intelligence. I love her recovery and I love that she's always trying to grow and learn and expand and change and evolve as a human being. And I love throwing obstacles and growing opportunities in her path. For her to have decided that she wants not to go all in with someone, but to slow-roll a relationship and to take it slow and get to know a person and do something differently than she's done before... And then for her to discover in that same episode that she is pregnant, felt messy and exciting.

How does this complicate things for Amelia and Link? This is a complicated, complicated thing. They were dating and having fun and now they're taking a very different journey than the one they thought they were on.

Alex proposes to Jo again after she gives him an out in their relationship, due to the fact that their marriage isn't legally binding because they never got their license. Are they looking to go through with tying the knot officially? That's the promise of the proposal scene, isn't it? There's possibility to explore their love anew and explore their marriage anew.

You've hinted that you were working on getting a former cast member to return this season. What's the status on that? It's an ongoing effort and if I can make it happen, it'll be exciting and if I can't make it happen, we have other exciting things happening.

I'll just throw out some guesses. Is it Sarah Drew or Kate Walsh? I will never tell you! (Laughs.)

Lastly, Taylor Swift is a big Grey's Anatomy fan. She wore a Grey's pin on a magazine cover in May. Have you ever talked to her about having a guest stint on the show? I mean, I haven't. But if she came and did it, my daughter would definitely come to set that day.

[nifflersfancy]

The Runaway Groom - Chapter 3

"You can't keep living off of your family's money forever, sweetie." Lily spoke, putting a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder. They were all sat around the small dining room in Lily and James' flat, Sirius' credit cards and a pair of scissors on the table in front of them.

"Oh, come on... They've got so much money that they wouldn't even notice." Sirius huffed. 

"Yes but you'll know." James pointed out, sending Sirius a look that the other lad chose to ignore.

"Yes, and I will feel incredibly smug using their money to live the high life. Come on, I could buy an expensive car... You've always wanted a lambo, haven't you, Jamie? Lily, think of all of the presents I could buy you! You’ve always wanted to go to Rome, right? I could send you to Italy! You could see the Colosseum and you could go to that volcano thing that killed everyone that Bastille wrote the song about!  Whatever you wanted! I could pay your rent here! Pete, you still want that Pac-Man machine? Remus, think of all of the old books! Come on, you lot, I think we're missing a trick here!" Sirius pointed out, grinning as he saw that he had won his friends over. But Lily was behind him and he didn't realised that she wasn't on board until she felt a dainty hand slap the back of his head and then saw her do the same to the others.

"Stop it! You can't buy our friendship." Lily scolded with a frown, moving round and placing herself gently on James' lap. His arms went around her waist and settled instantly as if they belonged there.

"He can buy mine." Peter grumbled, rubbing the back of his head and mourning the loss of his Pac-Man machine. He had been so close. He wasn't fast enough to dodge Lily slapping him again. "Stop hitting me!" He squeaked. 

"Stop. Sirius needs to do this. Look, Pads..." It was rare for Lily to use his old nickname so it instantly got Sirius' attention and he looked up at her, giving her his full attention but still pouting. "You don't want to live off of their money. Surely it will feel so much more satisfying to be able to say that you did it all by yourself? You don't need them. Now come on." She spoke gently, picking up one of the cards and the pair of scissors, putting them in Sirius' hands.

He reluctantly took them and held the card between the scissors but made no move to actually do it. "Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut." The others began to chant. so with a wince, Sirius cut the card in half, letting out a shaky chuckle as they all erupted in cheers. Feeling encouraged by their cheers, he quickly cut up the other two and then cut the halves into halves several times until there was just lots of small pieces of plastic. He couldn't have matched them back up if he tried.

"Welcome to the real world!" Remus cheered, clapping Sirius on the shoulder. "It sucks." He chuckled.

---

Sirius didn't look away from the television until the credits began to roll, and when he did, he noticed that everyone was asleep apart from him, James and Remus. Lily was draped over James' lap, her head tucked into the crook of his neck as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders, the other over her legs with a hand soothingly rubbing her thigh. Meanwhile Peter was spread out across the armchair, snoring loudly. Sirius and James were squished together on the same sofa as James and Lily, Sirius' legs over Remus' thighs as he leaned against the arm of the sofa. It was a bit of a squeeze but the comfort of everything feeling so normal and calm made Sirius feel at home. He hadn't really known home before but as he looked around, he realised what it felt like. 

He felt Remus shift, adjusting the blanket that was laid over their waist and looked over to see Remus reaching for the remote.

"Time for bed, I think." James whispered, moving his arm to under Lily's thighs, adjusting her slightly so that he could lift her. He kicked Peter's leg on his way to their bedroom and then nudged their door shut with his foot.

Peter woke with a snort and a flinch, looking around the room with sleepy eyes. "Wha's goin'on?" He mumbled, causing Sirius to chuckle deeply.

"Go to bed, Pete. It's nearly 1am. James and Lily have." Remus instructed with a fond smile, leaning his head back tiredly and taking long sleepy blinks. Clearly too tired to fight, Peter took a moment and then forced himself to stand up, stumbling out of the flat, going into the one opposite. Both men on the sofa laughed softly, seeing that Peter didn't even bother to shut either of the doors.

"Your flat is gonna get broken into one day, I swear." Sirius yawned, shifting slightly so that he was more sat beside Remus, resting his head on his shoulder. Remus shifted slightly as well but settled once he was more comfortable. 

"As long as he replaces everything that's stolen, I don't care. Our fridge is on its last leg anyway.. Been looking for an excuse to get Pete to buy a new one." Sirius didn't even need to look, he could hear the smirk in Remus' voice.

"Everyone thinks you're so bloody innocent and sensible." Sirius scoffed, shaking his head lightly, getting the remote control from the arm of the sofa on James' side and putting Love Actually on on Netflix. They had previously been watching Brooklyn Nine Nine but seeing how some of them had fallen asleep, they would probably have to repeat the last few episodes so that they were all caught up.

"Those poor, naive bastards." Remus tutted. "Hey, James and Lily had Oreo's. Speaking of bastards." He frowned, reaching over and picking up the bus that had previously been hidden.

"Ooh, can I have one?" Sirius questioned, looking over at the box.

"There's only one left." Remus frowned as he pulled the last Oreo out.

"You have it." They both said at the same time before they both let out nervous chuckles.

“Hey, we’ll split it.” Always the voice of reason, Remus said as he split it in half. He gave Sirius the half that had the most cream in it, knowing that the ex aristocrat had never had Oreo's up until recently and loved them but didn’t like the cookie as much as he did the cream.

“Thanks.” Sirius murmured with a soft smile, taking his half from Remus and taking a small bite out of it, wanting to savour it. “So what’s your deal, Remus?”

“My deal?” Remus questioned, frowning it confusion and tilting his head so that he got a better view of Sirius’ face. The other lad was looking right back up at him.  “What do you mean?”

“That sounded bad.” Sirius winced as he realised how Remus had taken his words. “I just… Look, you’re wonderful. You’re smart, funny, gorgeous, kind… You’re just.. Well, you’re perfect. I… I don’t understand why you’re single.” Sirius confessed, although he could no longer look Remus in the eye. It was word vomit. He didn’t know where the question had even come from but once he had started he couldn’t stop.

“Well, I… My last girlfriend, she-” Remus began but was cut off by a familiar voice speaking from the doorway.

“She what, Remus?” Both of them turned quickly at the new voice and Remus tensed upon seeing his ex girlfriend stood there.

“I told you not to come back here, Nymphadora.” Remus spoke, voice cold. Sirius almost flinched at it, completely taken by surprise at how it sounded. He didn’t even think that Remus was capable of sounding like that.

“I needed to talk to you and none of my calls would go through. It’s urgent.” She said, voice now sounding pleading but Remus didn’t even soften slightly.

“I blocked your phone number after you cheated on me with one of my students.” Remus and Tonks had been together for nearly two years when Remus found out about Tonks and Fleur, one of his students. That had been over two months since Sirius had showed up and in the three weeks spent with him, Remus almost felt whole again. But here Tonks was again, tearing his heart in two again. Although by the looks of things, Tonks had put on a bit of weight. He felt slightly smug about it, although he knew it was unfair.

“Please, I need to talk to you in private.” She practically begged. Sirius shifted to stand so that Remus and the strange purple-haired woman could be alone but Remus put a hand on his knee to stop him. Sirius couldn’t possibly deny that.

“I don’t want to hear it, Tonks. Get out.” He spoke slowly, clearly losing his patience.

“Remus, I’m pregnant.”

[I WAS TOO EXCITED TO WAIT TO POST THIS. Let me know what you guys think! As usual, this has not been spell checked or anything so if you notice any mistakes then please let me know nicely. If you're mean, I may cry. So let's not be dicks.]

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 4 Review

Hit-or-miss introduction makes way for some golden moments.

The opening skit for Snakeway to Heaven has a satisfactory comedic weight to it, though upon re-watching it for this review, I noticed an editing mistake I had never noticed before, despite becoming a fan of the series in 2012. When Goku falls off Snake Way, the scene actually freezes on that frame. It wouldn't be noticeable if the truck itself hadn't frozen as well. Small gripe but I thought it was an interesting observation to share.

[Title Sequence]

Goku's scream carries over into the first few seconds of the intro and resumes near the last few seconds, which I found to be a well played editing decision.

Once Goku has stopped falling, we're treated to an amusing take on the filler ogres from hell. The blue one is given the Swedish Hansel-und-Gretel accent while the red one speaks like a German or Austrian. And puritan as ever, KaiserNeko made sure to use the original, unedited footage. It would’ve been funny to see them maybe have a scene or two with the ogres wearing their different HFIL shirts, or maybe a bit more fun poked at the Ocean Dub, but no such luck in this scene.

TFS doesn't spend too much time on this scene at all, really. It’s filler, and so nothing here really matters to the story aside from laugh-factor. The comedic nature of this first scene is that it’s rushed. Goku swindles the two ogres out of a fight, like he’s trying to swindle the show into skipping this filler arc, as he immediately guns it for the exit... and then stops?

It would've been a much more emphatic punchline if the scene had changed right here. Instead we have an awkward stop-and-go motion to the scene they're trying to orchestrate and it feels stilted. A lot of this scene after Goku finds the exit I find to be entirely unneeded. Raditz has already been established as being in Other World so the callback here wasn't necessary, the special King Yemma fruit could be argued for having no plot relevance as it never existed in the manga, and we didn't really need that post-Goku scene to get the hint that these ogres were very chummy with each other when it came to subjects like oil wrestling and speedos.

But then, where would they put that great joke about the Blood Fountain? And the small dialogue about Dabura I did find risible as a fan of the original DBZ, despite my usual curmudgeonly take on yet-to-be-established jokes. Like many things, this does get much better as the series continues, eventually turning some moments of sequence-breaking into moments of well-crafted foreshadowing. This is just a funny pointless joke, and a nod to fans of DBZ, that has no impact on the actual story of DBZA itself.

Again, this isn't too much of a big deal. Just a whole work-with-what-you've-got bizarre scenario likely due to bizarre source material. Yet this was all deemed funny enough to edit, voice and keep in the episode instead of trimming it out like the other 90% of this mini-arc. I'm not convinced the presentation was done to par, but I do feel that the inclusion of "Goku in Hell" is necessary for the sake of tying loose ends together. Also, it would've been a far more egregious decision to have that cold open end in a do-nothing cliff hanger. So, a goofy scene and perhaps iffy writing, but not terrible.

We then return to the person who has so far been the breadwinner of the series, and Piccolo hasn't let up on either the humor or Gohan. Kind of a contrast to how somber he is in the show. It's not whack-a-doodle humor, it's exaggerated frustration and exasperation, which lands almost dead-center on my humor nexus.

But even better than Piccolo has to be this next scene - Debatably the first "meme" or seriously quotable moment in the show's history: Popo's Pecking Order.

On paper this doesn't look like it'd be necessarily funny, but when you attach to it a very do-nothing character like Mr Popo and turn him into a sadistic dictator, combined with the special emphasis and excellent delivery of the line, it's simply outstanding, and raises the bar for this entire episode.

Now I've said before that the source material of Z shouldn't factor into the end product that is DBZA. If I were to show this episode to my mother, I shouldn't have to show her all 291 episodes of Z so she can understand it. The show should be able stand on its own. That's not to say parody should have zero factor in the writing of this, or that there should be zero references at all, ever. By god what a silly thing to imply. But people can still enjoy Spaceballs even if they haven't seen Star Wars.

However, in the case of Mr Popo, DBZA does a good job of setting up Popo in the same way Z does. He initially speaks in a low, subdued tone, and is spoken of by Kami as some kind of adviser, or perhaps a respected peer, but as someone who is indirectly and respectfully implied to be below him. After all, it's called Kami's Lookout, not Popo's Lookout, and Kami is literally regarded as "The Guardian of Earth" while Popo just appears to be... there.

That all changes the second Kami leaves the outdoor area and Popo is entrusted with the reigns of the new Z Fighters. LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS!

The Krillin Owned Count also chimes three in this scene, and shows its first signs of picking up momentum.

Back on Snake Way, Goku gets eaten by the head of snake way, which leads into Jadoshin's palace. This is such a quick, cheesy, quirky but funny edit that I'm not sure what to say beyond I enjoyed it. It just hits you and then boom, you're in her castle.

The joke of Jadoshin being voiced by Solid Snake (Princess Snake, Solid Snake, on Snake Way) seems like a bold strategy but I think it's one of the better jokes they've committed to that ended up being really good, at least this early on. The voice even lends itself to the awkward dialogue that would've simply lost its charm or fallen flat otherwise.

Unrelated, but one of my favorite lines from the dub happens in this scene, where Jadoshin's attendant simply says "I've got something to show you. And it's my gun.", and then kills herself with it. I didn't expect to see that in this scene, but a small part of me did hope.

When Goku finishes up in the hot springs (with a Metal Gear Solid box gag to boot) and tries to leave, Jadoshin then states that she wants Goku inside her. Goku is confused, of course, and smash cut to Goku flying for his life from a massive green fire-breathing snake trying to eat him.

Jadoshin however still has the voice of Solid Snake even in this form, complete with periodic grunts as they maneuver through the air. This eventually transitions into Jadoshin saying waka-waka, and the backdrop changes into a Pac-Man map. The Pac-Man skit was perhaps a bit overdone, with Goku finding meat instead of the normal fruit, but on the whole this was a very "solid" scene.

During the Ozaru scene, I feel like Piccolo just screaming "MOOOOOOOON!" in the DBZA Kai version is funnier than the "Stop mocking me!" we got in DBZA proper. Also, donkey kong barrel, really? It's not bad, but it's an "oh, brother" moment, like hearing a very bad pun.

When Gohan transforms back into his human (or Half-Saiyan technically) form, his junk is censored with a Dragon Ball. This is an interesting contrast in philosophy over the years, as KaiserNeko explained the decision "to not censor baby dicks" in a Episode Breakdown livestream on the Broly Abdridged movie, where Broly's baby wiener can be seen uncensored in a few scenes of that movie.

The episode ends with Goku continuing down Snake Way, having tied Jadoshin up into a tangled ball, prompted the GAME OVER screen and someone yelling "Princess Snaaaaaake!"

Conclusion

Despite my lackluster thoughts on how Hell was handled, this episode had a lot going for it compared to it's predecessors! Most of the episode was spent on two strong scenes, and while I didn't think the Ozaru scene was anything special, it didn't feel out of place or off-kilter, but provided more insight and I suppose world-building into the relationship between Piccolo and Gohan and the constant reminder that they're training to eventually face off against the Saiyans. This is further reinforced by Stinger #2 with Nappa and Vegeta en route to Earth.

This was almost opposite to Episode 3, which I felt had strong bookends. While I didn't find the end of this episode to be bad, it was simply "alright" when compared to the Popo and Jadoshin scenes. Characters are starting to have stronger internal identities instead of simply being parodies of their original counterparts. Though it is noteworthy, and rather obvious, that this only applies to characters with speaking lines. Tien, Yamcha and Chiaotzu made their first appearances but had nothing to say. Maybe it would have been cluttered or detracted from the pacing of the Popo scene, but it may prove challenging to properly attach sentimentality to these characters in the short few episodes they have before the inevitable happens. 

Because y'know, nobody watched Dragon Ball.

Score: 73

Passing Thoughts

I liked that Stinger #1 dealt with the actual ramifications of DESTROYING THE MOON unlike the series proper did. I guess it was just no diff for the Dragon Ball world?

"He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain." "Looks fine to me." "IT USED TO BE WATER!"

"I killed everything here with my bare hands. Including the bear hands." -Pictured in the top left of the frame are actual bear hands.

"Stop grunting, it's creepy!"

"CLOTHES BEAM!" and “That is easily my most metro attack.”