#That I'll inevitably fail both of them
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#Ok#This is the first time I'm doing this#I don't always like to bring personal stuff here#But I need to vent#I had a mental breakdown last night#I couldn't sleep#I was in the bed#and just crying#Why? You may ask#because i'm tired#Tired of seeing all of my ex classmates graduating while I'm still stuck in university#Tired of seeing my colleagues and friends getting a job or just stability in their lives#while i'm still stuck here in university#completely incapable to do anything#Don't get me wrong I have just two exams left before working on my thesis but...#I always have the sensation that I'll never be ready for them#That I'll inevitably fail both of them#Idk why I feel this pressure and anxiety#Maybe I should just stay away from my ex classmates and colleagues for a while#I'll deactivate my notifications for awhile#You might see me here don't worry#I might just not be that much active today#feel free to interact
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How would that keep us safe?
(Kimi Raikkonen x pregnant!wife!reader)
Inspo
When a formula 1 driver's car fails on them, they would a. be angry, b. go straight to their engineers, c. stay in the team's motor home.. but not kimi raikkonen, no sir, especially not with his pregnant wife on a yacht on her own.
or
in which Sebastian Vettel, Mark Webber and Jenson Button make fun of the infamous ice man for being head over heels for his wife so he just decides to double down.
WARNINGS: not proof read (when do I ever proof read this stuff), no sense of timeline whatsoever, just a small crackhead fic that came to mind. Thank you insta algorithm for the Kimi edits, the man is so fine omg, solid dilf right here people.
Masterlist
"God," yn huffed as she, for an accurate description, waddled alongside her husband, Kimi Raikkonen into the Mclaren garage "if you don't keep it in your pants next time I will chop it off."
"Yes dear." Kimi replied with a smile on his face, hiding his laughter as best as he could to spare himself the lecture that would inevitably make him laugh harder- he can't help it, his wife is much more adorable trying to give him an earful with her puffed cheeks, stomping feet and her belly looking like it's about to pop at any second.
It hadn't even been 30 minutes before yn started to feel the heat getting to her, making her fan herself with the collar of her shirt while glaring at the fan that evidently did nothing to help her out.
"Everything alright dear?"
"No, no!" yn turned to look at her husband "it's so fucking hot i feel like my skin is melting off and your daughter wouldn't stop kicking my bladder so no, nothing is fucking alright!"
While the engineers around gulped, scared for their lives, Kimi bit his lips to avoid smiling at his very cute, frustrated wife. He had gotten used to her snapping at him whenever any little thing annoyed her, he knew it's the least he can do and she always apologises so no harm done really.
"It's okay, here, how about you go watch the race from the yacht? Will that be better?" Kimi whispered as he stood behind his wife with his hands underneath her belly, lifting it up to give his wife some rest.
"Oh my god," yn groaned in relief "I really needed that, I love you."
Staying like that for a few minutes, yn agreed that it would be much better if she watched the race from the yacht in her swimming suit, the atmosphere and the clothing would definitely make it much more comfortable for her. And just as she was about to leave, new company arrived.
"Ohhh, did he piss you off enough to leave him before a race?"
"Damn Kimi, don't make a pregnant woman that mad, especially not your wife."
The voices of Sebastian Vettel and Jenson Button joined the couple, along with the laugh of Mark Webber.
"Oh, shut up." As much as Kimi tells yn that he would rather eat chalk than willingly hang out with these guys, he is indeed fond of them.
"He didn't piss me off," yn pulled her husband down so she could kiss him, smiling upon hearing two of the three newcomers groan and a whistle (of course it's sebastian) "i just feel like I will burst any second so I am going to watch the race from One More Toy"
"What the fuck is one more toy?"
"Oh, it's kimi's yacht."
"Our yacht."
Placing one palm on her belly while his other rests on her cheek, Kimi smiled at his wife "be safe, yes?"
"Yeah, of course."
Giving her a kiss on her forehead, Kimi let go of his wife, watching her head towards his yacht with the help of one of the interns.
"Be safe." Came the mocking voice of Jenson Button
"I'll be so safe." Sebastian continued as they both reincarnated the way Kimi and Yn were standing a few seconds ago; Jenson's hands on Sebastian's stomach and cheek
"I'm going to kill you on this track."
Deciding to join, Mark stood in between Sebastian and Jenson, breaking up their proximity and placing his arms around their shoulders "but how would that keep us safe?"
"An engine failure, yet again from Mclaren."
"It seems like Raikkonen is the one who will retire this race, what a shame."
"Everyone was hoping for him to win this race, he had been phenomenal these past few races giving one stellar performance after the other, truly a waste to see him go this early into the race."
"Well, it looks like Kimi is going to walk to the garage."
"That is insane, it's like a 20 minute walk, no?"
"And we are back, and oh my god, there is Kimi Raikkonen in his yacht, he hasn't got a shirt on, with his wife on his lap, the father to be could not care less in this moment ladies and gentlemen."
"What a legend, the Iceman strikes again everyone, leaving the race to be on a yacht with his family. And oh my god, it seems that the couple are having the time of their lives on their yacht 'one more toy' with snacks all around and their hands all over each other."
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1#kimi räikkönen#kimi raikkonen#kimi räikkonën#kimi raikkonen x reader#kimi raikkonen x you#kimi raikkonen x wife reader#kimi raikkonen x pregnant reader#f1 smau#f1 instagram au#f1 social media au
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Risk
Summary: You have a bad habit of falling in love too quickly, but is it really that bad if a certain someone happens to feel the same way? Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: use of y/n, fluff, angst? (maybe), cliche writing, first kiss
Look at me now Said I wouldn't do it, but I hunted you down Know you had a girl, but it didn't work out
Steve Harrington was very sought after. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. You tried very hard to not fit into that stereotype but you failed miserably.
There was just something about him that drew you in. You told yourself that you wouldn't fall at his feet like every other girl at Hawkins High but you couldn't help it.
Now, Steve wasn't really known as a relationship guy. He was more of a "let's go out once or twice, have sex, then onto the next girl" type of guy (he was called "King Steve" for a reason after all) so it was a shock to everyone when he started dating Nancy Wheeler.
You were sad, just like every other girl, that you had lost your chance with him but when you heard about their breakup after a year of being together, you couldn't help but feel like you actually had a chance.
I'm not proud Guess I'm just scared of you shootin' it down You can just talk, and I'll stare at your mouth You could be bad, but I wanna find out,
Giving in to him wasn't your proudest moment but it was inevitable. You had decided that if you wanted him, you would have to go get him.
See that's what all these girls were doing wrong. They would wait for him to come to them and ask them out, when in reality if they wanted a chance they would have to take it. So that's exactly what you did.
You were in your history class that you happened to share with Steve and the teacher had just announced a research project that would take all month to complete.
Picking a partner would've been easy had your only friend in the class been there that day, but sadly she had stayed home for whatever reason. The bright side was, now you could take a chance.
You got up out of your seat and walked straight over to his. You were a bit nervous but decided it was now or never.
"Hey, Steve!" You spoke loudly due to your nerves but luckily he found it funny.
"Hey..." he paused
"Oh, it's Y/n," you said embarrassed that you had been fawning over this man that didn't even know your name.
"Right! That's right, I- I knew that"
"Yeah," you laughed it off, "So do you have a partner yet? For the project, I mean?" You stuttered over your words a bit, albeit scared of the potential recegection coming your way.
"No, actually, I don't"
"Okay, cool... do you wanna work on it together? Maybe?"
'Here it comes' You thought 'He's gonna say no, laugh in your face and...'
"Sure."
'Oh. Well, that was easy.'
And I wake up in the middle of the night With the light on, and I feel like I could die 'Cause you're not here, and it don't feel right
It's 4:28am and you can't stop thinking about him. You woke up from your dream almost 30 minutes ago and haven't been able to get back to sleep.
This dream just messed everything up because now you've come to the conclusion that you're in love with Steve Harrington.
This wouldn't be your first time loving someone but it is your first time being in love. There's a difference. You tend to love rather quickly and when you love, you love hard.
It takes a while for you to stop loving someone. But you have a feeling things will be different this time.
You think about what it would feel like if he were with you in that moment. But he's not, and it sucks.
God, I'm actually invested Haven't even met him Watch this be the wrong thing, classic God, I'm jumpin' in the deep end It's more fun to swim in Heard the risk is drowning, but I'm gonna take it
A couple weeks into working on the project and you still barely knew anything about him. The only thing you both talked about was the project and how it's coming along. You were getting nowhere.
"Hey, what do you think about coming to my place today?"
You had been digging through your locker looking for a specific book for your next class when Steve came up to you and it's safe to say that his words shocked you.
"What?" you asked
"Do you want to come work on the project at my place today?" Although he didn't sound like it, he was nervous asking you to come over.
"Sure!"
'Maybe she is interested in me' he thought
His heart fluttered at the sight of your excited smile.
Isn't it fun thinkin' I'm right when I'm probably wrong? Holding my breath like I met someone Knowing damn well that I haven't been touched by you In my head, you're in the car, and you're comin' to me And you get to my door, and you can't even speak But I think that it's sweet, yeah, I think that you're sweet
You knew Steve was rich, but you didn't know he was this rich. Standing in front of his house you were a bit worried about what was to come.
Once you finally worked up the nerve, you lifted your fist to knock on his front door. Inside Steve had seen your car pull up and stood by the door waiting for you to knock.
When he finally heard it, he waited a few seconds, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
"Welcome..." he sighed "Sorry I don't know why I said that, that was weird, let me start over... hey."
You had a small smile on your face trying not to laugh. "Hi... can I come in?"
"Oh, yeah of course."
"Thanks," you let out a little giggle
You walked in and looked around in awe. His house was 2x the size of yours. "Your house is amazing," you whispered.
"Yeah, it's great I guess. It does get lonely sometimes but... anyways we should probably finish the project."
He walked you over to the dining room where he already had his textbook laid out. You both sat down, took out everything you needed, and got to work.
After an hour of working you had finally finished the project and it had only taken you about 3 weeks. Even though you were finished, Steve didn't want you to leave yet so he suggested having an early dinner.
"I wouldn't have pinned you as a cook, Harrington," you said with a small smirk on your face.
"Yeah, well when there's no one around to cook for you, there's only two options. I can cook for myself or get takeout, and I obviously have to stay healthy so takeout's not ideal. Gotta stay in shape for the ladies, you know?"
'Maybe he isn't interested in me' you thought
"The ladies. Right." you let out a nervous laugh.
Too soon to tell you "I love you" Too soon to tell you "I love you" Too soon to tell you "I love you"
Steve could tell you were nervous to tell him something. You were standing in front of him on his front porch unsure if you were ready to say what you wanted to say. But you knew you couldn't keep it in any longer.
It had been months since you both finished the project and you had become even closer than before.
Ever since that day at his house, you've fallen for him more and more each day. And even though it might be too soon, you have to tell him.
"Umm... can I talk to you?"
"Sure, come in." He said stepping out of the doorway to let you in. "So, what's up?"
"Uh, so, I just wanted to say that... you've been an amazing friend."
Steve let out the breath he was holding and sighed with disappointment. That is definitely not what he wanted to hear. The exact opposite actually, but he let you continue anyway.
"But I can't just pretend that that's all I want to be. I love you and I know it's probably too soon to be saying this but—"
Steve suddenly stepped forward and brought his hand up to cup your face which shut you up quickly.
“Is it ok if I kiss you?” he whispered
“I would like that very much.”
He leaned in and connected his lips with yours and, if it was even possible, you fell in love with him even more. The kiss was soft and tender, way different than what you thought it would be.
It was the first time your lips were meeting, but you immediately knew that it wouldn’t be the last.
Steve was the first to pull away and as much as he didn't want to he knew he had to.
"I love you too, by the way"
"Good"
You're the risk, I'm gonna take it
#steve harrington#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington x reader angst#steve harrington x reader#fluff#gracie abrams#risk gracie abrams#Spotify
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So I have two general life philosophies that guide most of my actions. They're deceptively simple, but when I figured them out it really changed my perspective on stuff in a helpful way. Maybe they'll help you!
They are:
If I want something to change for the better, I have to be the one to change it. Doing nothing only makes things worse.
This applies to... everything. Want to get better at drawing? I have to be the one to practice. Doing nothing only makes me worse. Want my house to be clean? I have to be the one to clean it. Doing nothing only allows the mess to multiply. Want my garden to be beautiful? I have to be the one to weed it. Doing nothing only allows the weeds to spread. Want a better political system? I have to be the one to vote, and then the one to put pressure on my elected officials/support groups furthering the progressive policies I value. Doing nothing only allows the other side to make things worse.
It sucks. It's hard. It's the unfortunate truth.
The second one is a quote a friend shared from her therapist, and it fucking picked me up, turned me around, and spat me out a fully changed person:
Trying harder is not a plan.
Goddamn does that slap me around the face. Trying harder is not a plan. If you have an issue remembering your tasks at work and your solution is, "I'll try harder," you are setting yourself up for failure because there's nothing actionable there. When you inevitably fail (because trying harder is not a plan), you won't have any idea where the failure came from or where to go from there, and you'll feel like absolute shit for failing.
"I struggle with taking my medication on time. I have to try harder to do it!" ❌ Trying harder is not a plan!
"I struggle with taking my medication on time, so I'm adding calendar reminders to my phone and computer that require me to check off that I've taken it, and I'm storing my medication on my computer desk, which is where I eat my breakfast, so I can take it as soon as the reminder goes off." ✅ This is an actual plan! If it breaks down or fails, you can evaluate what parts worked and what parts didn't! You then have knowledge you can use to make a new plan!
Both of these principles also combine really well. Let's take the gardening, for example: I want my garden to be beautiful and functional, so I need to be the one to make that change, since doing nothing only allows my garden to get overgrown. I also know that "trying harder to garden" is not a plan, and I know that to-do lists work really well for me from previous experience.
Solution: I put a recurring reminder on my to-do list to garden for 20 minutes (if the weather allows). I don't have to remember to garden: The to-do list takes care of that. I don't have to remember to add it to the to-do list because it's recurring. All I have to do is go garden so I can come back inside and check it off, which makes my brain happy both because gardening is good for my mental health and because I fuckin' love accomplishing things on my to-do list.
If I want something to change for the better, I have to be the one to change it. Doing nothing only makes things worse.
Trying harder is not a plan.
Give 'em a shot, yeah?
#life advice#you know how sometimes you hear a single sentence#and it changes you forever?#that was “trying harder is not a plan” for me#I swear it rewired my brain
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ORPHIC — A Simon Riley fic.
❱ This is a longer version of the au I posted on tiktok ^^ I do apologize for the repetitive use of some words. I'm working on expanding my vocabulary! Your kind word means a lot to me, especially the readers on tiktok, you guys mean a lot to me ! ꜝ?This fic may contain heavy topics such as death, depression and melt-downs, if any of those are not to your liking. Please do so exit the fic. Angst warning!
the fic is unedited, grammatical/spelling errors may be found!
➴ SYNOPSIS — On a particular mission, you and your lover finds each other fatally injured. With a promise to meet each other again on your next life, you held each other as the explosion erupted. Only for him to wake up the next day, without you.
part 2 (●'◡'●) | masterlist
ORPHIC — (n.) mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding.
"[name]?!"
He frantically called, dropping the weapons he held to take a good look at your figure who collapsed on the floor.
The mission had been awfully longer than they anticipated, by the time the third hour arrived, you and Ghost already had fatal wounds.
He hardly swallowed, feeling his throat dry.
He would rarely call you by your actual name. Ghost always abide by the rules, lover or not, he called you by your callsign through the battles you fought with together,
This one, however, happens to be an exception.
Your panting chest, bloody body, and exhausted expressions stated so.
He knew, you knew.
He was only grateful you were with him.
The physical pain had caught up to him, he sat beside you. Taking your dainty form close to his, holding you close to him. You could hear his heartbeat,
They were oddly calm.
"Lieutenant—"
"Simon. It's your Simon."
He mumbled, taking your hands in his. Clasping them together gently,
You gasped for air, though in his arms it felt as if you could still conquer ten groups of syndicate. He held you so gently, so protectively. You swallowed,
"Simon?"
"mm?"
"I hope I loved you enough in this lifetime."
You could hear his breathy chuckle, the rasp in his voice another proof of his exhaustion.
"You're rushing, doll, we are still at the part where we reminisce about the memories yea?"
You smiled at his words, disregarding the growing pain on your abdomen. You noticed his own body, the scars and blood covered your lovers figure, You knew it was inevitable.
Without mentioning anything about your wilting bodies, you smiled up at him.
"We haven't lived enough yet." You spoke.
"Indeed,"
"We'll just have to meet in our next one and make the most of what we missed in this one."
Your smile grew, "I didn't know you believed in reincarnation, Si."
"For you, I will. This life failed us," He spoke with weak determination, "This isn't our end, [name].
I'll find you just as I did before."
With one final kiss, he held your body tighter to his. Covering your ears as protection for the upcoming explosion, as he whispered sweet nothings,
"If I'm as grumpy in our next life, Please find it in you to be as patient as you are to me in this one. I love you, [name], see you there alright?"
It wasn't long until a blinding explosion defeaned both of your ears, the noise was much bearable for you as he covered your ears tightly. Pressing your body close to his, Well it is the last thing he did, love you and hold you til you both accepted the inevitable fate you've been bestowed.
At his very last moments, he held you tight.
﹑
﹑
﹑
"I'll find you in our next life."
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"See you there, alright?"
﹑
﹑
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"Love me just as much as you did on this one."
﹑
﹑
﹑
Soon after the final explosion, Price made sure to clear the place. The eerie silence of Ghost's nonexistent callouts haunted him, along with the walkie he found which belonged to you.
He knew there was one answer, but he had a tiny speck of hope. You and Ghost never failed them, it was this life that had failed you countless times.
"Captain, it's been hours, it's just—let's try to be realistic. There's no way Lieutenant would be so quiet unless he—"
"Have trust in them. They're both strong."
As the two discussed whatever conclusions were the most possible, Gaz had found himself in a particularly secluded room. It was wrecked, obvious that the explosion did not spare it,
"Cap.. captain, you might want to see this."
With hitched breaths, the three of them stared at what the room unfolds.
His arms wrapped around you protectively, dried blood covered the two of you as you held each other. The sight pinched the soldiers heart, how could such a tragic sight depict so much love?
The two of you laid, almost showing no signs of life. Price had to drop his equipment, staring at the sight and taking in the vulnerability and acceptance you both showed,
"They held each other." Soap mumbled,
"Tightly." Gaz whispered, staring at the grip your cold hands had on ghosts arms that wrapped around you lovingly.
Price found himself approaching the two, with a heavy heart. He checked for a sign of life—anything—holding your pulse first,
Nothing.
"They're gone."
He whispered, the silence of the room almost suffocating the room. None of them had yet broken down, though they felt as if their knees would give out. Price reached for Ghost's after checking yours,
Eyes widening as he frantically double checked Ghost,
"There's—He's still breathing."
﹑
By the time evac had arrived, Price had known it was far too late to save both. He knew this was now their reality. As he sat outside the room where Ghost lay unconscious, completely unaware of the world he’ll wake up to, unaware that he’d live to see that his lover is now gone.
Price felt his stiff heart ache as the thought of them accepting the inevitable death whilst in the arms of each other. How could the two of you receive such a cruel end? Not only were you separated, you had passed thinking you remained in the arms of your love,
He also knew you would hold no grudge if you find out that Ghost had survived the tragic explosion, Price could imagine the gentle smile on your lips while saying ‘I know he will, he’s always been tough.’
He closed his eyes shut, holding his head as he rested his arms on his weak knees, “how the hell am i supposed to tell him.” standing up to return to his station, looking at the window to see Ghost’s resting figure.
As days went by, Price had to argue with people to push further the funeral. It can’t happen yet, not without ghost. He knew he could only delay it for a few more days. He had faith in his comrade, but at the same time that hope easily withers as days pass them by like a blur.
“Captain if we don’t proceed with the funeral, [name]’s body, it’ll—”
“We have to wait for him.” he interjected sternly, glaring at the soldier, “we have to.”
He knew his logic had given out in favour of his emotions, he can't bring himself to betray simon. Not when he's already been through so much, he'd already lost the person he cared for the most, He just can't do this to him.
“Captain the body, they're doing everything they can to help preserve [name]. But if this keeps on, the body will decay completely! Do you think the lieutenant would be delighted to see the person he loves rotting? He wouldn't—I'm sorry captain. This needs to be done, with or without him.”
Price grimaced, the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he closed his eyes shut. He pinched the bridge of his nose, before nodding with a heavy heart.
“Very well.”
“Proceed with the funeral.”
﹑
“Si, have I told you how much I love your eyes?”
“‘Mm? Yeah, all the time, doll.”
You chuckled, ruffling his hair. You loved the way his eyes squint whenever he’d smile, even the slightest smile he shows, you loved it every single time.
“I love looking at them, they look really pretty.”
“You think so?” He asks, caressing your face.
“I know so. I want them to be the last things I admire before I pass away.”
His eyes weakly fluttered open, his breaths shallow but much more stable than before. He’d woken up certain that he’ll turn to see your peaceful face, away from the wars, away from the scars of the battles you both conquered, he knew and was certain he’ll turn to his side to see you peacefully resting with him after the turmoil you've both overcome, as proven of the light that blinded him when his eyes fluttered open,
As soon as his eyes adjusted to the brightness, he sat up with a relieved sigh. Turning to his side, prepared to caress your soft skin.
His breath hitched.
You weren't there.
You weren't anywhere near his proximity. Where are you? He finds himself sitting on an empty hospital bed with nothing but his dumbfounded state. He looked around, observing the place with a tired frown. He felt rage. Why is a dextrose connected to him? That was where your hand rested before the explosion killed the both of you,
..right?
“[name]?”
He whispered, standing up, ignoring the piercing pain he felt all over his body. Pulling the dextrose and removing it from his arm roughly,
Why is he breathing? Why is he alive?
“Hell, what is this?”
No. no no no no no no no.
He stormed out of the room, uncaring about the strange looks thrown towards him as he opened each and every room of the hospital. Panic surging through his body, he won't accept it, he won't. You've gotta be inside one of these god forsaken rooms,
Shocked screams and gasps were heard by every door he opened, abruptly interrupting the patients as he searched for those particular eyes. That particular person he needs. He was determined. In one of these rooms, you would be laying down on the bed, resting, waiting for him.
If he’d survived, you surely did, too.
He won't live otherwise, not without you. And so he continued barging inside rooms, panting and grumbling to himself everytime a different pair of eyes looks at him in terror, they weren't your eyes, you wouldn't have looked at him with a petrified expression, you would look at him with a smile,
Like you always do.
You open your arms and wait for him to close the distance and embrace you, pressing your bodies tightly against each other like he did the night of the explosion.
“Lieutenant!”
Price’s voice rang through the silent hallways, with workers of the hospital frantically following the two of them, “what are you doing simon—”
“Where are they?”
“Where is [name]?!”
He angrily snapped, voice strained with venom as he started to feel himself fall into a hysteria.
“Where’s my [name], john?” he repeats, this time weaker. Desperate for answers, desperate for your whereabouts, desperate for you.
“Simon, let's calm down. Let's go back to the room and talk.” Price tried to calm him, slowly making his way towards his friend, aiming to take him back and avoid him from causing another scene.
“No.” he shakes his head in disbelief, tears brimming on the verge of falling, “tell me where they are.”
Price felt his heart sunk, he'd never seen the hard-headed ghost look so vulnerable and desperate. “Simon, come on let's go.”
“Price. Where's my [name]?”
﹑
“They're gone.”
Price had managed to pull the hysteric Simon back into his room and sat him down on the bed despite his protest and cries. The sight crushed price’s heart,
“No.” ghost protests, “they're most certainly not.”
Price looked down, sitting himself down as well. Unable to take the lump suffocating on his throat. Ghost’s voice destroyed him, and he bet it would crush your soul to see your lover ask so desperately for you.
“When evac came, [name]’s already dead. It was too late, Simon, I'm sorry.”
“Then why!?”
Price looked up at Simon's sudden question, “why the hell did you think i wished to live if it was too late for [name]?!”
“Why did you have to save me, price?” he weakly stood up, looking down at price as tears fell down his eyes. They were tears of rage and grief—tears that he had rarely shown anyone but you.
“Saving me knowing I'll wake up without my [name], what did you— what did the lot of you think? Now tell me,
Tell me what ill do, tell me price, what the fuck should i do?”
He cried, weeping his unfeeling heart out. He can't feel anything, none worth mentioning—the hurt of losing you plagued his heart,
“I can't, price, I can't do this.”
“Send me out there, make me fight those syndicates, have me tortured for months but not this—not this, i beg you. Don't make me live without [name]. Don't do this to me.”
Price felt his own tears pool his eyes, he couldn't take it. Not when Ghost stared at him with contempt and helplessness.
“Take me back to [name].”
“Please.”
Without you, there was nothing else left for him. Without you, he wouldn't wake up looking forward to meeting those eyes that once looked at him with adoration. Without you, he wouldn't feel that extraordinary love you had saved only for him. Without you, he won't feel. Without you, he is nothing at all.
Nothing but a breathing piece of sorrow revived to a body which was once happy with you.
Without you he's simply nothing.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#cod ghost x reader#cod x reader#ghost riley x reader#simon 'ghost' riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon 'ghost' riley x reader#ghost cod x reader#ghost angst#ghost x you#ghost riley#ghost call of duty#cod imagine#simon riley imagine#mw2 imagine#ghost mw2#simon riley#simon riley angst#mw2 x reader#ghost imagine#ghost simon riley#cod simon riley#simon ghost riley imagine#ghost fluff#call of duty#call of duty ww2
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dating toge inumaki
rawr :3 sorry if this doesn't make any sense. if u know what horror game i mentioned shout out. its long bc im a d1 yapper
word count: 975
warnings: swearing, food, horror video games
I LOVE toge i am the number one toge inumaki lover srry not srry
First things first…he's a menace. Walks up behind you and pinches under your ribs, bops you on the head with random items (gently), bites like a cat (u know when ur petting them and then they just randomly bite? Like that)
While yes he does make your life HELL he's also a sweetheart
Flowers regularly, movie nights every week WITH snacks, super duper secret sleepovers (it used to be a secret then panda found out and insisted on joining), dates that last all day then inevitably end in a sleepover
Loves taking you to the arcade with those really hard claw machines so he can flex how good he is at them, even better if they're the ones with anime figures in them
“Oh my god look at it! It looks so dumb i love it” tapping on the glass at a plush seal with balls
“Salmon” he giggles tapping the card
While Toge loves to go on dates outside of your dorms and the school there are some days that neither one of you has the energy to go out. These nights mainly consist of the both of you cooking dinner together, watching those random 4 hour long videos about random subjects, and falling asleep in each others arms
Speaking of curse speech, he adds new words just for you!
His favorite way to greet you is saying honey
“Hi baby” you say, wrapping your arms around Toge, not caring about how sweaty you are from training.
“Mhm, honey” he whispers, burying his head into your shoulder and wrapping his arms around you, rocking sideways back and forth
To outsiders Toge seems so quiet and reserved but rest assured he has the biggest yappetite EVER like 40 messages in under a minute because whatever thought he has at the moment he NEEDS to tell you them
Some messages are sweet
“Hi bb i love u sm i cant wait to get my “grubby” paws on u ;) n e way i got u stuff”
“Hi brawling rn just wanted to say i luv u sm adn i cant wati for snuggles and love.”
But most are just random thoughts he has
“wass good bbg? <3 do u think panda can get fleas?”
“HELLO MY LOVER URGENT MESSAGE I JUST HAD TEH WORST FOOD EVER I AM ILL PLS BRING GINGER ALE AND TUMS IM DYINGGGGGGASDGJKNSKFNGBKAD”
“bbg check this out” *picture of a really ugly curse* “looks like u :3”
Loves playing videogames with you even if you don't like them he just sits you on his lap and plays anyway
Even if you don't like video games he still makes you play horror games with him, especially if everyone is with you.
“Oh my god i hate this. I don't wanna do this anymore”
“Just keep going forward, it's almost Toge’s turn anyway” Yuta says, slightly giggling at your anxious self.
“No no no nononono i don't wanna do it! Maki help!” you shout, begging your best friend to take over but failing.
“Just sprint, you're gonna be fine” Panda adds leaning over the couch.
“MY TUMMY HURTS I CANT…ok ok i'll sprint..” you say pressing the sprint button and running up the stairs. Just as your character gets into the next room, one of the bosses drops down from the ceiling.
“FUCK NO FUCK NO STOP PLEASE GO AWAY,” you continue to shout as your friends yell for you to run.
Your friends are sick of you…correction, Maki is sick of you two
Everytime she comes into contact with the two of you you're always cuddling, kissing or just generally being lovey dovey. Half the time you and Toge are cuddled up in what looks like the most uncomfortable places.
Desk chairs, chairs in the common room that are as hard as rocks, etc. If there is an uncomfortable place to sit rest assured knowing that the two of you will be snuggled up together
Speaking of pda, he's so sticky
Toge loves to just be around you whether it be holding your hand, wrapping his arms around you or just standing near you
“Parallel play” is a big thing for you guys since conversations are fairly short (sorry king) as long as you two are in the same room he's happy
Most days consist of one of you working on homework or any other work and the other one just being near
On the rare occasion that you and Toge aren't attached to the hip both of you are texting nonstop
y/n
“meow hi love of my life”
toge
“Good afternoon dear lover, I wish I could be with u rn but alas I am at war and the outcome is looking bleak. But trust me I will return home with goods. Love ur awesome bf”
y/n
“ur putting ur thesaurus and dictionary to work ga damn”
toge
“im gonna bite u”
y/n
“try it coward ill rock ur shit”
toge
“EAT MY BUTT”
One last thing…he’s 100% a food thief
Does not matter what you have, he is sneaking some of it whether you know it or not
Toge WILL eat your leftovers you've been looking forward to all day
No matter what you have, he always has a little of it. I mean YOU'RE eating it, it must be good
“Taste testing” is another thing he does, he says it's because he doesn't want you to be poisoned but in reality he thinks its funny how annoyed you get about it
Take out you two have had millions of times? Taste tested. Food your friends bought you two? You can't trust them! Taste tested. Food YOU cooked? Might've been poisoned, Taste. Tested.
All together he loves you so much…maybe i'll make a part 2
#inumaki x reader#inumaki toge x reader#toge inumaki x reader#toge x reader#inumaki fluff#inumaki x you#inumaki x y/n#toge inumaki x you#jjk x reader
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I'm sure it's been said before but I'll say it myself because why not
The game In Stars and Time makes for a revealing contrast to the movie Groundhog Day in how they treat their final time loop and how that reflects on the main character. (Even though, if I remember right, the dev largely wasn't aware of Groundhog Day when they came up with ISAT.)
Spoilers for both after the break, I guess.
In Groundhog Day, Phil starts out narcissistic and self-centered, has the realization that he can live life without consequences, gets depressed after having tried and done everything that he's got everyone and everything memorized so that nothing can delight and surprise him anymore, and finally escapes when he performs a loop that proves that a better, happier world is within his grasp to make, not something owed to him, and that he is happy with the life he has today, not always pining for his ambitions for the future.
In... In Stars and Time, Siffrin starts out deflecting and aloof, has the realization that they can do this perfectly - 'this' being not only the impossible challenge of defeating the King but navigating their relationships with their party - gets depressed after hitting wall after wall and repeatedly fumbling into faux pas after faux pas with their party, and finally escapes when they perform a loop where their true feelings come out, no matter how ugly, and they're honest about their own desires and wishes rather than trying to keep up an ideal façade.
Plenty of people have pointed out that In Stars and Time subverts the 'escaping on the perfect loop' time-loop trope that Groundhog Day largely codifies. Not only does the 'perfect' loop completely fail, Siffrin escapes on arguably the 'worst' loop, the one where they rightfully worry that they've hurt and alienated their loves ones forever and cannot escape those consequences anymore.
But I don't think this contrast is as direct as it seems, even though one could say that Phil got away scot-free compared to Siffrin and that In Stars and Time is the superior story for portraying a harsher outcome. (I do think that exploration and advancement of tropes is just inevitable and even healthy over time, and Groundhog Day came out in 1993 so of course it and the tropes it spawned deserve modern critique, but I digress.) I actually think that it reflects how both stories and the mechanics of their time loops are built around their main characters. (There's also something to be said about how genre shapes narrative since GD is an existential comedy and ISAT is an action-adventure focusing on interpersonal drama, but that's another digression.)
ISAT makes an impact on the whole time loop genre with its clever subversion, but like all the best subversive stories, it's couched in strong characters that embody its themes.
And to take a broader perspective, the best time loop stories are allegories for the real-life situation of making the same mistakes over and over again caused by your own deep-seated personality flaws, and being forced to finally confront your inner demons and overcome them and become a better, healthier person. (Relatable, much?)
Phil is a man who's never happy with his lot in life, so he needs to learn to find the eternal richness and beauty of what he has within his grasp, and that a better, happier life is something he can make for himself. Thus, he escapes on the 'best' loop.
Siffrin is a person who refuses to share their true feelings and problems with others to the point of self-destruction (and complete reinvention in one aspect), so they need to learn that no matter how ugly and twisted they think they are, being open and honest doesn't mean their loved ones will care about them any less, even when Siffrin is seen at their lowest point possible. Thus, they escape on the 'worst' loop.
It's not just clever subversion, it's holistic circular story structure!
...Though maybe I'm just drawn to these stories because I, too, would like some extra time to Figure Some Shit Out and have that time come with some superpowers along the way, even if it nearly destroys me in the process.
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#literary analysis#groundhog day#writing#story structure#I'm dead certain I'm not the first one to make this write-up#but I gotta get this outta my head you know how it is
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𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝕺𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝕸𝖊
[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙| 𝕬𝖔3 ]
Part 1 of 5 - Part 2
Author's Note: It's here! The first chapter of the Yandere Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere Night Lord love triangle(corner) fic! It's going to be 4 chapters (5 actually you'll see tehe) and I drafted a good portion of it in advance so it should be smooth posting? We'll see. Enjoy!
Summary: A Night Lord becomes interested in you while you stand under the eyes of your Salamander guardian, and you find yourself stuck between two titans.
Relationship: Yandere!Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere!Night Lord
Warnings: Hints of nsfw at points, Yandere, Size differences, Very toxic suffocating relationship(s), Some knight/princess dynamics, Demeaning language, Both these guys have hero complexes, Violence blood and bruises and possibly death to say without spoilers
Word Count: 2068
Word travels fast aboard even the largest of ships, you had learned quite quickly.
Space marine legions are not fond of working with one another, was what you had learned first. Many times even different squads within this same Legion can butt heads, as different styles of commanding and battle conflict with one other. Salamanders often try and remain cordial when problems within them arise, but friction was and is inevitable.
The second, was Vulkan was apparently quite firm with his legion that they were to welcome their temporary allies with respect. At least that is what you’ve heard from any Salamander that you’ve heard mumbling as you pass by, or any that have given you a moment of their time. That’s all you know, and these tidbits of knowledge fail to put together a full picture that you can understand. Their lips have been quite tight other than the bare minimum they believe you need to know.
Or what you can get from them if you ask very nicely; Much like the Commissars and Lords you've dealt with over the years, it seems Salamanders aren't immune to a bit of flattery also. You just need to make sure he doesn't find out, as you know how displeased he gets whenever he finds out you went wandering around chattering with his brothers.
Speaking of...
You can ask him about it; You just need to wait for him.
He always visits you in the librarium, once his second round of training is concluded. He then goes for his five hours of rest, and the cycle restarts. Though even if it isn't that time, you know he still keeps a keen eye on you.
You don’t wish to bother him with an issue as seemingly meaningless as gossip, but none of your fellows have been able to piece together what's happening, as none of the Salamanders have loosened their lips about it in the slightest.
It's made you more than a bit unnerved; Knowing that something is wrong but no one will tell you what it is. The tenseness in your neck is worse, and sirens and calls once normal now make you jolt when they sound off.
The large piece of parchment in front of you remains nearly empty, apart from the crude outline. Commander Artellus's face is fresh in your mind, but you for some reason can't put it to parchment.
You hear the sound of harsh, heavy boots on the ground, and turn to see who you've been waiting for coming towards you. You shift in your seat and turn to see him coming.
“Ralkan; You’re back,”
You smile wide at him, a put down the pen you'd been fruitlessly trying to use. The way his eyes look down at you is warm, his helmet hanging on the side of his hip. He stands close to where you sit alone at the massive table, covered in a mess of materials. The ink in your well shakes with waves, when he steps closer.
“You should have been there this time. I feel like I'm missing something now without your curious looks.”
You smile even wider and laugh, remembering the time. He had outpreformed Salamanders his senior, and you wondered if he was overdue for an ascension in rank, or if he was simply showing off.
“I'll come next time. As long as your battle brothers don’t mind me seeing your training again.”
He places a massive gauntlet on your shoulderblades, thumb against the side of your neck.
"They won't, I am sure of it. Though I hope you'll reserve your cheering only for me again."
His hand brushes along the upper half of your back before it slides away, his chainsword hanging neatly on his back. He looks out the massive window to the vast reaches of space directly in front of your makeshift desk for a moment, before pulling his bolter off his thigh and checking it.
He’s always meticulous. He’s been trained into flawless discipline, and it shows in every aspect of his existence. From the way he keeps his thoughts closed to the way each piece of armor and each weapon must be meticulously maintained.
You can hear the mechanics of his armor shift as he moves, but you can only tolerate few more beats of the near silence before you can’t help it anymore. Your pen twirls in your hand as a soothing gesture before you speak up.
“Ralkan?”
You look up to him, sniffling from the disturbed dust in your nose. He turns to look at you as you abandon your parchment, and finally put pen down and place your ink stained hands in your lap.
You hesitate for a moment, pursing your lips and looking away from his hard gaze as he turns back to you.
“What is happening?”
He is genuinely confused by your question for a moment, before he realizes what it is you're asking about, and his face stiffens. But still he doesn't answer. It irks you; Thinking that he’s trying to keep this all from you. You add on to your earlier question.
“I know that you are going to be fighting alongside another legion, but why are all of you acting like it's something you're all dreading?”
Perhaps you might simply be a guest aboard this ship, gifted from Terra to a legion eager to put their deeds to written memory, but you wish to know more than the servitors do. You pull your hands from your lap and lightly slap the table with them, gripping the edge.
“Ralkan, Who are the Night Lords?”
It is so instantly apparent that you struck something in him, as his body visibly tenses and his face briefly flashes with anger as a legion's name other than his own leaves your tongue.
He makes eye contact with you, the burning red of his eyes making your curiosity waver. But you still want to know- need to know. He takes a step closer, and his left hand rests against the surface of the table. He lets out a tense breath.
“The Night Lords are the 8th legion. They," Ralkan tries to find the words, pausing for a moment. "The way they wage battle is in near direct opposition to us Salamanders."
He speaks the name with a stern, cold demeanor. It fills you with a hesitant sort of interest.
These legions; Have they really developed cultures so unique that they find themselves unrecognizable to each other?
“They have no respect. They will cull entire cities for the slightest infraction.” He looks to you, and he catches that your curiosity it still taking hold; You lack the fear that he's trying to instill in you.
He takes a step forward, and you can hear his armor hiss and grind as he lowers to a knee, now only a head taller than you as you sit. He puts his hand on your shoulder again, but it lacks the gentleness it had the last time, as he grabs tight and forces you to face him. You wouldn’t be able to pull away even if you wanted to; And while he is still trying to be gentle, his gauntlet still yearns to bruise your skin underneath your clothing. The seams of his armor dig into your flesh even through the fabric.
“They are going to be crawling over the ship soon. Do not let them even see you. You cannot run from them and they will know it.” His hand makes sure you can’t look even the tiniest bit away from him. “They will take advantage of your weakness. You must stay here, in your quarters, or close to me. I was charged with protecting you, and I will see it through.”
There’s not many places on this ship you go, at least without him. He is your guard, or perhaps more accurately your handler. He is in charge of making sure you don’t wander where you don’t belong, as even if the Salamanders have been welcoming to a remembrancer on their ship, they have their limits. For your safely and their privacy.
This ship- A world for giants, it isn't meant for someone like you either. Ralkan makes it a bit easier to navigate.
Though out of all the titles he's been given, he seems to enjoy calling himself your knight first and foremost. You assume it’s simply a part of their culture, you’ve heard other Salamanders call themselves knights as well. The tone is different, but you assume it’s simply Ralkan’s own brand of oddity. Perhaps he isn't fully cognizant of the intimate undertone behind saying such a thing to you.
Stuck in his grip, your nose wrinkles as you try to say something in defiance, to learn a bit more, but you know this it all you'll get from him. Even if you ask sweetly.
“I just wanted to know what was happening. I'll," You turn your face away from him and blow air from between your tight lips. "I'll stop the questions about it."
There isn’t much you can say otherwise in the matter anyhow. You want to trust him, and to listen to him, but perhaps it’s simply curiosity that makes you hesitate on the matter. Or naivety he probably assumes, as much as that irritates you.
He lets out an audible sigh of relief, and loosens the hand on your shoulder, it drifting up your neck before it cups your jaw. The other joins it on the opposite side, holding your face in his gauntlets. They're so gentle, even with cold ceramite between your skin and his.
“You know I do this to protect you, yes?” He continues, his eyes soft as they gaze over you. “I only want for you to be safe here. With me. I have seen these astartes before; I know what they are capable of.”
His eyes are warm, brow softened. You always enjoy when he looks at you this way, even if you might fear of what lays between you being far beyond the supposed title of knight and his charge.
He leans forward, and his forehead touches your own. You feel like he wishes to do more, but is forcing it back. Your bare hand lays overtop of his gauntlet, and you smile at him.
But after a moment, he leans back away from you.
“I must leave now. My brothers and I are part of the battalion that is due to greet our temporary allies.”
You so desperately don’t want him to leave, but at the same time, you wonder if the weight on your chest will finally dissipate if he does.
He rises, and in doing so also removes his hands from your jaw. His cape shifts behind him just barely brushing against the floor, and you swear you can hear the crackling of a vox channel in his helmet. His battalion must be calling for him.
“I will return soon. Please, do not forget what I have said.” You nod in understanding, and pick up your pen. He smiles at you after you do, and turns to leave. You turn to watch for a moment, until he's out of your sight. You turn back to face the table and let out a sigh, rubbing your jaw.
You didn’t want him to leave, but at times Ralkan can be so, suffocating. His very energy is that way, many of the astartes are, but Ralkan seems to have his grip around you particularly tight.
You sum it up to him being dedicated to the safely of their brand new remembrancer. The sheen of a new toy that hasn't worn off yet. Or perhaps him simply wishing to make sure you don't deviate from the path, and tread where you aren't welcome.
You assume the ladder, though the way he looks at you fills you with doubt.
You aren't opposed to him being fond, but he is so overwhelming. You might consider yourself lucky you think you feel the same way, as you don't know if you'd be able to get free of his grip if you didn't.
You don’t forget his words, but as you write word after word, and the drawing of Commander Artellus's face slowly forms, your mind begins to fall into the paper, and his voice becomes little more than a tickle in the back of your mind.
#warhammer 40k x reader#space marine x reader#salamander x reader#reader insert#reader#mywriting#Yandere!Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere!NightLord
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Love Sea the Series: Intro (First Impressions & Predictions)
Because I'm a huge over-analyser whose known for my lengthy BL essays - here are my takeaways from the very brief glimpse we got to Mahasamut and Tongrak. They gave us literally a 1 minute teaser, so as you can imagine, I'm filling in a lot of blanks at this stage.
TONGRAK
Tongrak looks like he's going to be an unapologetic menace. A very sexy and sassy menace. He has an air of blasé indifference which screams 'yeah and so what?' you're not the boss of me'. Someone whose clearly a bit prickly, petulant and headstrong. Writers are often independent or even loners, as it's a very solitary field. They have a very strong vision of what they want, which can mean a reluctance to compromise.
I mentioned that he gives 'I know I'm hot shit' energy. He exudes a confident sexuality which is shown in how assertive he is when flirting and the smugness in how he retorts. He knows he's hot commodity and isn't afraid to flaunt it. Probably is used to having people wrapped around his little finger. 'We play by my rules, I decide if I want you or not'. At worst he may even see people around him as playthings.
Based on the general premise of the series, Tongrak comes to the seaside for inspiration. Uppity cosmopolitan city boy thrown in to the bohemian outdoors. He looks very noticeably out of place in this setting. But he may use that to his advantage, knowing others are looking at him, dazzled by a prince in the middle of literal nowhere.
MAHASAMUT
Now what comes across most strongly about Mahasamut is that he's clearly very possessive. This is signposted multiple times in this brief introduction alone. He steals Tongrak away when he's flirting with someone else. He drags him by the wrist across the beach. I assume at this point they've not known each other long and he's being very handsy and grabby. He asserts that Tongrak 'will have to love him.' (Which could mean: I'll make you fall in love with me whether you like it or not, OR you falling in love with me is inevitable because I'm just too goddamn charming). Pretty presumptuous all the same.
This tells us that Mahasamut is equally self-assured. He has bags of confidence in his ability to keep Tongrak interested. Though he's being turned down, he doesn't appear dissuaded or phased in the slightest. Whether this is due to being generally a bit thick-headed, or putting on a front in order not to let Tongrak feel like he's won, is too early to say.
It's also worth noting that people who have such confidence in their conviction often haven't failed before. And there's a certain naivete in that. It's the whole 'through hard work and determination I can conquer all' mentality, which is not always the case.
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC
Now what really fascinates me about this collision of personalities is that these two are going to butt heads. A lot. Whether that's in a good-humoured tug of war, or a stubborn battle of wills. Tongrak is resistant in a 'I refuse to compromise' type of way. Mahasamut is persistent in a 'I refuse to let it go' type of way (like a dog with a bone). Neither wants to give in. Both are declaring, 'you're going to want me'.
So Tongrak and Mahasamut are not your typical match on paper. There will be fireworks (most likely good and bad). It'll probably take them much longer to find equal footing that goes beyond just sexual attraction or lust. This is why I've got a hunch the love scenes are going to pop off. We're going to get angry sex, I'm calling it now.
You could argue that Tongrak and Mahasamut do share some similarities with Sky and Prapai - particularly with the bickering and chasing - just dialled up to 100.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS
ATMOSPHERE: The setting by the sea should prove to be a really interesting way of playing on tone. Watching those two interact whilst the wind blew around them, with the crashing of the waves in the distance was a whole mood.
CONTEXT: This feels leaps and bounds removed from the more grounded setting of Love in the Air. It almost feels like a summer fling. We're getting what appears to be a more adult backdrop, which I always greatly appreciate within the BL genre.
STYLING: Tongrak's outfits are going to murder me. The silky, drapey, billowy, low cut shirts with ample collarbone on show? CHRIST. Paired with the dainty jewellery. Kill me now.
Also, love the fact they were referring to each other as 'MISTER' and 'SIR'. Like SIR, DO YOU MIND? SIR, I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU. SOMETHING GOT YOU HOT AND BOTHERED, SIR?
#love sea#love sea the series#love sea meta#memindy#fortpeat#fort thitipong#peat wasuthorn#mahasamut#tongrak#they're both going to be petty#'you like me more'#'no YOU like me more'#bothered squared#its starting my friends
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As Sozin's comet arrives, Zuko wakes to find a strange tattoo on his arm. Stranger still is the matching one Sokka has, which both keep ticking towards some inevitably event. Unable to explain it, they march on to face Ozai, knowing only one thing -- no matter what, Zuko and Sokka will stay together. No matter what happens, they'll be at one another's side. Only, it doesn't work. They fail, they fall, and just when things seem at their lowest, they end up living through it again and again, until they can figure out what they're meant to do to make it to tomorrow.
My contribution to @zukkabigbang2024! It's timeloop, it's soulmate marks, it's angst (PLEASE MIND THE TAGS), it's hurt/comfort, but there's a happy ending!
Thank you @seasideoranges for the amazing art that took my breath away and to @syciaralynx for beta'ing this huge beast! Also thanks to everyone who helped motivate me through the dark days of this one, bc I honestly thought it'd never get finished, but it's here!
#zukkabb24#zuko/sokka#zukka#timeloop#soulmate marks#angst with a happy ending#hurt/comfort#temporary character death
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An Analyis of the Ending of "The Killing Joke"
This scene is one I've wanted to get my thoughts written out on for a while and one of the most interesting in all of DC comics from how important it is to understanding both the characters of Batman and the Joker.
So, this scene is the finale of the oneshot comic "The Killing Joke" By Alan Moore, and is directly preceeded by Batman once again foiling the Joker's evil plan, beating him both verbally and physically before then kicking him to the ground to seemingly knock him out.
For what then follows, I will post the full comic pages so you can absorb the scene first.
Ah, the infamous cutaway that leaves the ending so open to interpretation. But what exactly does all of this mean? Well, I'll give my interpretation:
The scene starts in the same way as many other fights between Batman and Joker have concluded. Joker gets defeated, Batman saves the day, the clown prince of crime will get chucked back into Arkham until he inevitably breaks out once again, and then they'll do the whole thing over. "You know, I think you and I are destined to do this forever", that's how their story always goes. However, this time things are different.
This time, Batman doesn't beat Joker senseless, even though cosnidering what Joker spent that evening doing to his friends and family, he would richly deserve a good beating by anyone's estimation. Joker expects that of Batman as well, and he accepts the beating and re-imprisonment that he's sure is coming his way, because that's how it's always been. And yet instead, this time Batman chooses to talk with him. He tells Joker the facts of the situation, that despite everything, he actually doesn't WANT to hurt him, and knows that if they keep going down their current path, one of them will eventually kill the other. Batman knows it, and he knows that Joker knows it too, and he doesn't want that to be the case, because above everything else Batman values preserving human life as a goal equal to and often greater than stopping crime. He doesn't want to kill Joker, it would go against everything he stands for, but he knows with every encounter they share that possibiltiy grows more and more likely.
In a similar fashion, the Joker doesn't actually want to kill Batman either. Despite how he may play the part of wanting otherwise, the entire story of the comic up until this point has been about Joker trying to prove a point to Batman. That deep down, everyone can become him, that all it takes is one bad day to turn even the most moral man alive into the Joker. whether this is because Joker genuinely believes this, or it is meant to simply justify and excuse who he himself became from his own tragedy, is never really confirmed, though it is most likely a bit of both.
Either way, we see that Joker is not happy at all by Batman attempting to talk to him instead of beating him. In fact, he's practically sulking. Now, is this due to the fact that his big plan just failed, sure, at least partly. However, there is something else going on as well. All of Joker's plans fail sooner or later, this is no exception. It's something he expects despite coming up with a new one every week. This time though, he genuinely looks depressed, and this is in part due to Batman breaking the magic of their routine. By speaking to him like anyone else, by reaching out to Joker, Batman is attempting to fundamentally change their relationship forever. Batman wants it to end, he doesn't want to keep fighting Joker until it kills one of them, he wants Joker to stop. But Joker doesn't want to stop, he doesn't want Batman to die or stop chasing him because the relationship he has with Batman is all he has left. He has no real friends, no goals outside of plans to mess with Batman more, he has nothing outside of his role as Batman's arch enemy, and he knows it.
And yet, despite all that, when Batman genuinely reaches out to him, appeals to the fact that their lives were both heavily affected by past tragedies and offers Joker help to try and move past that, to be better, even after all the atrocities he's committed, despite all that... Joker actually seems to consider his offer. We can see this by his hesitation, and the fact that he doesn't just laugh it off right away or make fun of Batman as he would any other time.
This time, Joker seems to consider the offer, and turns dead serious in a moment that is probably the most normal display of genuine human emotion we get from him, and he tells Batman that he's sorry. Joker genuinely apologizes for not being able to take Batman up on his offer, looking like he's about to cry as he declares that it's far too late for him to take any offer Batman could give him.
The question is, why? Why is this time so different, why does Joker seem to actually consider Batman's offer and reject it in such a human manner? Well, I truly believe the answer is clearly seen in the joke that the conversation with Batman reminds him of. I will go through it line by line and give my interpretation.
"See, there were these two guys locked in a lunatic asylum" I think this obviously is referring to Batman and Joker. They are the characters of this joke/story, the conversation between them reminded Joker of this joke (or he just came up with it on the spot to suit their situation, but regardless) and they are also the only two characters in the panel where that line is said. In this case, the 'asylum' in question would be their rivalry, their roles as Batman and Joker and everything that comes along with that. Makes sense, none of the things either of them do in those roles are things that normal, sane people do, and both of them were traumatized in their lives by horrible events and spiraled into becoming the Batman and Joker because of it.
"And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore, they decide they're going to escape." This is a clear metaphor for ending their roles as Batman and Joker, perhaps just for that particular rivalry or all together. Escaping the asylum means returning to the normal, happy lives they had before their trauma. Batman has already stated he wants to end his fighting with Joker, however the fact that both men in the story wish to leave the asylum together implies that Joker also secretly wants that too, which is very interesting as we go on.
"So like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight, stretching to freedom." Given that Joker is looking at the moon shining over Gotham as he says this, I think it's clear that the 'freedom' here is living a normal human life the same way all the civilians of Gotham try to every day. It's about having a chance to be better, to do better and make something of your life everyday beyond the endless cycle that he and Batman are trapped in with each other. As long as that cycle exists, they can never truly be free, even though the Joker can break out of Arkham whenever he wants and do practically whatever he wants until Batman stops him. Their rivalry prevents either of them from ever being free.
"Now the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daredn't make the leap. Y'see, y'see he's afraid of falling." This is where we see Joker differentiate himself and Batman in the story, and how their situations in life currently exist. Batman is the first guy who is able to escape the asylum and return to the city fairly easily, whenever he desires. This is because that, unlike Joker, Batman has his life as Bruce Wayne to live and fall back onto. He has many friends and a large family both adopted and biological who rely on him and give him something good and happy to live for. He can leave the asylum because he sees the light on the other side, he has hope and knowledge that things will turn out alright if he does. But Joker does not. Joker doesn't have another life to live, no family and no friends to fall back on and lift him up. All his life consists of is the asylum and Batman, the other man right along with him. He knows nothing else, and so it seems impossible for him to ever jump across to the other side and join Batman in freedom.
However, it goes beyond that. Joker isn't scared to leave the asylum because it's all he knows, in fact he's just as eager to leave it with Batman. What he is afraid of though, is FALLING as he jumps across. What does falling mean in this case? Well since escaping the asylum would mean ditching the roles of Batman and Joker and returning to a normal life, falling would be failing to do just that, failing so hard that it sends him plummeting right back down, either to death or to being left alone and away from the safety of the asylum and more importantly the companionship of Batman. if he falls but Batman doesn't, he'll be left lost and alone, pointless and forgotten, and that's what Joker fears by leaving the asylum.
"So then the first guy has an idea. He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk across the beam and join me!" This part of the metaphor I believe is meant to represent Batman's offer of help to the Joker, the therapy/rehabilitation that's intended to help him get better. In this case though, the help is being represented by something that has little actual effect. You can't walk across a beam of light to cross over to another building, in the joke it's only meant to stop the second guy's fear of falling. It isn't actually a real bridge to freedom, just an illusion of one that Joker thinks Batman is giving him.
However, than we get to the punchline.
"B-but the second guy shakes his head. He suh-says, he says, 'wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was halfway across!"
And here we get the real reason why Joker can't take Batman's offer, why he can't join him in freedom outside of the asylum. It isn't because he doesn't think the help Batman is offering him would work. The beam of light not being a real bridge to walk across isn't the problem in his eyes. The problem, is that believes that if he tried to walk across it, Batman would shut it off and let him fall. Because what Joker is truly scared of, isn't that the help Batman's offering him wouldn't work, he's scared that the help might actually have a chance at working, that he may have a way to get out of the asylum for good, but that Batman will give up on him before he reaches the other side.
He's afraid that the only person in the world who genuinely cares about him and wants to help him, will end up giving up on him and forgetting him if he tries to get better. We can see that in the way Joker delivers the punchline, turned around to stare directly into Batman's face with a disturbed, crushing smile of realization on his face while the symbol of freedom that is Gotham, bathed in the light of the moon sits directly behind him, just out of reach. He's accusing/telling Batman of why he's afraid, that he could never trust him enough to actually try and rehabilitate him, and he's laughing because he knows there's no way out of this.
And Batman, once the joke finally hits him, realizes the exact same thing. He knows then that Joker will never actually be able to be helped, there is nothing he can do for him because Joker will never trust him enough to let himself be helped. There is no way out of this for them now that Batman's final appeal to peace has been turned down by a man to broken to realize it was his way to a better life, a free life.
And so, knowing now how their story will end, Batman does the one thing that Joker always wanted from him, and breaks his role as Batman for just a moment. He shares in a final laugh with Joker as he puts his hands on his shoulders, up by Joker's neck, and the two laugh and laugh together until the scene cuts away and their laughter cuts off equally as quick.
Now, did Batman kill Joker here? The single question everyone tends to ask when they read this scene. Now, canonically we know that, no, Batman does not kill him, Joker returns again and again after this, but in this case I do fully believe that the creator of this comic, Alan Moore (the same man who wrote Watchmen), did likely intend for that to be the ending. The fact that the scene opens with Batman acknowledging that their relationship will end in death, and that the only way out of that is for Joker to accept his proposal I think seals the intent of the ending pretty well. Joker Can't accept his proposal, because the trust between them that would be necessary for that is something that could never truly be built up as they exist in their roles as Batman and Joker. They both know this, and so Batman ends their relationship and breaks his one rule by freeing Joker the only way left it is possible to free him, in death.
So, as much as I personally think that having Batman kill at all is a fundamental no no that you just can't do with his character because it goes against everything he stands for, I think this as an intended ending by Alan Moore to the relationship of Batman and Joker works very well. It is one of many endings in across many comics. Is it my favourite? No, though I would put it in my top three. however, I do think that this is the meaning that Moore was trying to convey in this scene, and I truly believe he does a beautiful job at conveying it!
#dc comics#my analysis#batman#dc joker#the killing joke#bruce wayne#dc meta#batman meta#dc#dc universe#dcu
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Albatross, Animus Dragons and Preventable Tragedies
(Also Known as: This tragedy was not inevitable, let's talk about responsibility)
(CWs: Murder, Abuse)
So, Legends Darkstalker as a book has a lot of thoughts about fate and inevitability. Clearsight and Darkstalker try and fail to create an ideal future for the both of them, Fathom is scared that he can't prevent his animus magic from destroying is soul, and the readers know how all of this is going to end since Legends Darkstalker is a prequel to Arc 2.
In the midst of all this talk about inevitability and fate we have...Albatross. Someone who we've known about since Arc 1 and know how his story ends. He causes the Royal Seawing Massacre, his magic allegedly "driving him insane." What's interesting about Albatross is that when you really look at his life, this historical version of it falls short in many ways. The retelling of his life leave out important context, and notably, scrub any idea that someone or multiple someones might have caused him to act like this.
It's Albatross' fault in the end, it's his fault for losing control, his fault for being "insane."
But if we take an actual look at the story in Legends Darkstalker you find that this really isn't the case.
Albatross found out he was an animus in a very...unpleasant way. He enchanted a shell to bite the claws off his sister, Sapphire. This event was deeply traumatic and would stick with Albatross for his entire life. You might be wondering why Albatross didn't fix Sapphire's claws considering his powers and I'll get to one of the reasons in a bit since it's very important to what I'm trying to say, but @/kinkajouwof breaks it down over here.
In short, most likely the reason why Albatross didn't fix it at the start is due to uncertainty if he really Could do it and because Albatross and Sapphire were terrified.
The reason more important to my point though is that Lagoon Actively Benefited from this fear. When Lagoon became Queen she would hold this action over Albatross whenever he was unwilling to do things to guilt him into following what she wanted him to do.
"This is a waste of time, Lagoon," he said. "Nobody ever tested me, but we figured out quickly enough what I could do. If any of them have a shred of power, surely they would of known by now. Or it will become obvious, sooner or later." "I'd prefer sooner," the queen said silkily. "If we find another animus in the tribe, that would make us twice as powerful, which would be quite useful given how the Mudwings and Rainwings have been behaving lately. And the earlier we find her, the sooner you can start to train her, and the sooner I can start to use her." "Besides," she added in a lower voice, so Fathom had to strain to hear her, "I think we would all prefer to discover our next animus in a less...dramatic fashion than you were discovered. Don't you?" Albatross flinched, just slightly. He cast a skeptical eye across the young. "My power is more than enough for whatever you need. I've given you everything you've asked for, haven't I? And I don't want an apprentice."
Afterwards Lagoon commands Albatross to start the test but you can see what I mean. Lagoon actively threatens Albatross and Exploits Him, and wants to find Other Animus Dragons to Exploit. He is not just a Subject to Lagoon, he is an Object to Lagoon. Non-sexual objectification.
She plans to do the same thing to another animus, Lagoon's rule was built on Exploiting the powers of the people she could Control. She wants to find them young so she could mold them into the tools she wanted them to be earlier. She wants to condition them to treat themselves as objects Now.
This treatment comes to a head during the banquet. Where Lagoon once again holds what happened to Sapphire over his head, while also threatening to Replace Him.
"Here is our first animus," Queen Lagoon said to the Skywings, who seemed to have figured that out themselves, judging by the looks of terror on their faces. "My brother, Albatross. We were just talking this morning about what his next project should be. I'm thinking big this time. Something that makes me invulnerable, perhaps. Or something that kills any dragon who might be a threat to me." Beyond Albatross, over the couches, Splash stiffened, and Fathom saw her crush one of the hibiscus blossoms between her claws. He glanced around and saw his father put a wing around Manta, who had gone pale. "Yes," Albatross said. "Although you recall I wasn't exactly enthused about any of those ideas." "Then it's lucky you're not my only animus dragon," Queen Lagoon said coldly. Fathom felt a shiver all the way down to the tip of his tail. If she asked him to do a spell like that, would he? Would he obey his queen and put his own mother in danger? Or disobey her, and perhaps put everyone he cared about in even worse danger? What would she do to Indigo If I ever said no to her? Albatross stopped right in front of the queen, snout-to-snout with her. Fathom couldn't read his face. He looked as though he'd been carved from stone, any emotions chipped away. "Do you think you're done?" Queen Lagoon said to him softly. "Do you think you'll ever be done atoning for what you did to Sapphire? It's not going to end Albatross. You'll always be mine."
This is a bit of a blunder on Lagoon's part since Albatross Kills her! She's revealed that she is Never going to let him go, that no matter how hard he works he's never going to escape. No matter what he does he will be an Object to her. Fight, Flight or Freeze, stay here and be worked to death killing hundreds of people or Escape Now.
And Albatross...chose Fight.
Note that Albatross literally says right here that he doesn't Want to make Lagoon Invulnerable, he doesn't Want to give her the power to kill people.
When he starts killing other people it's not because he became ax-crazy. He killed the Queen, no matter how horrible and cruel she was their all going to defend her...and they've never thought about him. They've never cared for him. To them he was also an Object.
So...he kills them too.
Now I'm not saying He should of killed all those people, murder is bad actually. But this is a Consequence of Lagoon and the rest of Seawing society's actions. This is the direct, real, bloody consequence of treating a person like an object designed to serve their every whim.
This wasn't something he was doomed to be, this is something that has a tangible cause and effect. The system and the way it treated him is What Caused This.
Except, none of the Seawings who survived Want to face that. They don't Want to accept responsibility for that. Why should they accept the responsibility and guilt of having lead one of their own to believe that murder was the only way to escape a truly horrific and abusive situation...when they have a perfectly convenient scapegoat. Remember...Albatross is an object. Lagoon died, not because she perpetuating a horrible abusive situation that her society allowed her to do due to the absolute power she was given, but because she handled Albatross Improperly. Animus magic is just a dangerous thing, and the people who can use it are dangerous tools. This isn't Their Fault for treating a person like an object, it's the fault of improper usage of a tool.
It's a more convenient story for everyone...except for Fathom who proceeds to be treated horribly and drown himself in guilt and shame for being Dangerous.
Seawing Society caused something horrible and instead of trying to fix it, turned their backs and pretended they did nothing wrong. When we see Anemone their doing the Exact Same Thing to her. She is an object, a weapon of war, and she will be treated as such. Anemone believes she's doomed to become evil and almost Kills her family out of the belief that she is doomed to become a mass murderer.
Albatross' Massacre was preventable, and that's what makes it tragic.
#wof#wings of fire#wof albatross#wof anemone#wof meta#been a hot minute!#I get really frustrated whenever people treat Albatross as doomed to be evil#he really isnt
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Unknown Episode 5
Oh, Yuan. Your yearning is palpable through the screen, other people in the story are starting to notice, and I can feel the pain coming.
This show is building spectacularly. I feel like I'm with Yuan as his feelings become more and more uncontrollable, with Qian feeding them unknowingly at every turn. One thing the novel did so well, and that the show is pulling off too, is showing us that Qian also feels differently about Yuan than he does about other people, even if it's mostly on a subconscious level and he would deny it if you asked. He listens to him and worries about him in a way he doesn't anyone else, and he is attuned to his feelings even if he can't always articulate why. And everyone around him can see it. Lili has long accepted that this is just the way her brothers are with each other. The office ladies (fujoshis all, as it turns out) have clicked into their dynamic.
And San Pang is actively worried and starting to interfere in their relationship, because he can see two things clearly: 1) Yuan definitely likes Qian; 2) Qian seems to feel something for him in return even if he is not aware of it. I don't think San Pang would bother to interfere if he thought Yuan's feelings were truly hopeless. It's because he can see the way Qian unconsciously relies on and returns Yuan's affections that he's worried.
I like the way the show adapted this plot line from the book. Like many things in the story, they have softened the tone of it (San Pang was a lot more homophobic about it in the novel), and San Pang in general is pretty different here. In the book he's unattractive and loud and brash, while here he's so dreamy that Lili has a crush. But it's understandable that he would be uncomfortable with the idea of Qian and Yuan's relationship becoming romantic; he has grown up with them as brothers, too, and it's an idea he just can't reconcile with how he thinks of them. Attempting to redirect Qian's attention to a "more appropriate" love interest is a logical move, and one I can forgive him for, even though it's bound to fail. I'll be curious to see what exactly he says to Yuan next week.
As for Yuan, I just feel so much for him. His feelings are leaking out at every turn; he has entirely lost his ability to mask it. I was glad he got to come out to Qian, be accepted (after some token resistance), and at least clear this one hurdle in their relationship, but you can feel his frustration at still being too young to approach Qian in the way he wants (reminder that despite what the subs claim, he is still calling him ge, not using his name when they speak). Yuan is still in school and has other obligations and important life milestones to meet before he can come to Qian as an adult partner. Having to leave for things like training camp makes him unhappy when he just wants to be around to take care of Qian. I found the office workers filling in for him on Qian caretaker duty quite sweet, and I do think Qian loves the way Yuan dotes on him even as he pretends not to need it.
I am anticipating and dreading the inevitable implosion when Qian is no longer able to ignore Yuan's feelings and consequently has to confront his own. Next week is going to be painful for both of them.
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Of Atlas and Sisyphus (NSFW)
Part 1 | Part 2
Part 2: Overthinking and Overflowing
Pairing: MiguelO'Hara x afab!Reader
Themes: Romance, Fluff, NSFW, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn.
Word Count: 9.4k words
Synopsis: Reader wakes up at the Spider HQ Med Bay and needs further care. Miguel spends his day watching the recording of their last mission. None of them are ready to face each other. But circumstances and a perky AI assistant say otherwise.
Trigger Warnings/TWs: blood, wound, piercing damage, reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns, miscommunication, emotionally constipated idiots, a bit of power imbalance because boss x underling (but ever so slightly), hand job, oral sex (female and male receiving), very soft femdom.
A/N: sorry for the wait. Life happened but I managed to push this one out! I'm thinking of doing a third part to really solidify the ending of this things. Comments and rebblogs keep me motivated! Have a nice read :)
The very first thing that hit you when you next opened your eyes was a feeling of unfamiliarity. The white ceiling lights buzzed overhead, overwhelming your sight; the mattress and pillow you laid on felt harder than you were used to, there was a distinct antiseptic smell in the air and somewhere in the vicinity a machine beeped. You tried getting up, but your muscles failed you, bringing you right back down. The little ruckus you caused made someone gasp nearby.
"Careful now," a masked nurse hastily came over your bed "We can't have you accidentally unhooking yourself from the IV-drip."
In your daze, it took a few seconds to register that the nurse was a Spider-Woman, a few more seconds to realize it meant you were at HQ's Med Bay and even more for it to click that that's NOT where you were supposed to be. You sat upright suddenly as dread coursed through your body, successfully yanking the needle out of your arm "The Goblin! I gotta- "
With a sigh, the nurse gently pushed you back into the bed with a hush. "It's all right, dear. It's been dealt with," she proceeded to reset the IV needle in your arm "Boss brought both you and the Anomaly back to HQ. Your Universe is safe, you need to rest now."
"Miguel… ?" You croaked, the memories of the missions slowly coming back to you "Is he ok?"
"Yes, he was dismissed not too long ago," she reassured you "He wasn't injected with as much venom as you did, and he's also much bigger than you - it almost didn't affect him."
"Venom…?"
"Oh, right. You wouldn't know," she chirped "The projectile you took was venomous, it did a number to your body and halted your healing. But don't worry, we're working to fix that.You should be right as rain in a day or two!"
"Right…"
"Well, I need to attend to other matters now," she said in a gentle tone "There's a little button on the wall over there, press it if you need anything and I'll come running, ok? Now, get some rest."
You watched the nurse hop out of your room before sinking into the pillow with a heavy exhale. You didn't finish the mission; you couldn't carry your own weight to catch an Anomaly in your own dimension. Miguel had to do it. He caught the Anomaly by himself and had to carry your unconscious body back to HQ. Your only contribution was being dead weight.
To make matters worse, according to the nurse, you'd be stuck in the Med Bay for at least another day. This meant that all the unfinished work you left at your workstation would inevitably get delayed. Consequently, all the new tasks that you'd surely be assigned to will stack up and, thereafter, also get delayed. You shielded your eyes with your forearm as you groaned, the amount of extra hours you'd have to put in to compensate already sent a shiver down your spine; an all-nighter was definitely due. You just hoped no unforeseen crisis strike in the meantime - adding Miguel juggling a million tasks at once to quench a metaphorical fire by himself to the fiasco that your mission with him was just added more weight to your already heavy consciousness (and another jab to your very much hurt pride). You also didn't want to have him going through stress by himself when you could very well be there to share the load - that's precisely what you've been trying to accomplish all this time after all. As capable as he was, he was still just one person - he needed you.
Wait…
He needed you.
"Because I need you."
He… He said that, didn't he? You were not entirely sure, you were in a rather delirious state right before passing out. It could have very well been a fabrication of a blood-deprived (and poisoned, as you just learned) mind that has been yearning for him for far too long. But somehow, it felt real… You've dreamed about Miguel before and it didn't matter which scenario your subconscious made up, waking up always left you with a bittersweet feeling afterwards, like you've been yanked away from your own Garden of Eden. But this particular memory had an intensity behind it, an unrelenting force. Like that first sip of cold water on a very hot summer day.
You swatted that notion away before escalating your swooning any further over a single crumb of hope. 'Because I need you' could mean anything, it didn’t necessarily have to do with romance or lust. If you recalled correctly, you were in the middle of quitting your job, he could very well have meant he needed you working in the lab with him. As in 'You became a valuable asset to the Society, replacing you would be too troublesome. I need you'.
Heh… Despite not being ideally what you wanted it to mean, the thought still amused you. Miguel finally admitted he saw worth in your contributions to the Society, after all these months of getting nothing but criticism and scoldings. And you could hear in his voice how he struggled to let the words out, how strained and a bit desperate he sounded. Like he was running out of choices and just had to use the truth for once.
It really was amusing how much leverage he gave you over him.
Miguel didn't want you to know he needed you and you couldn't wait to rub it in his face.
—--
Miguel didn't want you to know he needed you and he dreaded to see your reaction now that you did.
It had been a full day since he was dismissed from the Med Bay and he couldn't concentrate on anything. And it's not like he wasn't trying; he kept forcing himself to focus - compartmentalizing tasks in more palatable chunks, timing his strides and peppering them with short breaks, and even going as far as vocalizing out loud what he was trying to accomplish step by step - but no matter what he did, his thoughts kept circling back to you and everything that went down in your dimension.
After the ninth time failing to keep a steady flow of work going, Miguel finally gave-up. Among the catalog of yesterday's missions log files, he put up the VOD of the mission at your dimension and silently watched it. He paused the moment before you were hit with the Goblin's javelin and felt his stomach churn; he watched himself curled up on screen, trying to fix his suit, pathetically oblivious to the impending attack coming from behind him. The next second you were lunging at him, getting the Goblin's attention and successfully protecting him at the cost of your wound.
How… Pathetic.
His intention to accompany you on your next few missions was to protect you - he knew you bore a grave injury from a past job, he wanted to aid you until you were fully healed. To watch him be a hindrance that caused you further harm made him feel disgusting; and knowing it was because he didn't have Spider-Sense the same way most (bright and cheerful) Spider-People had just added more insult to the injury.
But the fight with the Goblin wasn't the reason he wanted to watch the Video Log in the first place. He kept watching it until he got to the part he wished to revisit - the moment the argument broke out. Unsurprisingly, he was the one who triggered the conflict.
"Why the shock were you exerting yourself when you should have been resting?"
Miguel groaned at his tone. He didn't have to be an asshole when all he wanted was for you to be more careful with your well-being. But at this point, being a jerk towards you became second nature - a defense mechanism born from the need of keeping you at arm's length; treating you the complete opposite of how he felt about you to ensure you were kept safe from him. If you ended up hating him all the better. But actions have consequences, and tipping you off yet again was just that. He couldn't blame you for snapping, he had been pushing you for a while now - the band was bound to break.
What he didn't foresee was that said reaction encapsulated your sudden decision to quit Spider Society altogether AND your stubborn persistence in flinging yourself back into the mission while gravely injured. His mind went into overdrive trying to salvage the situation while keeping the professional facade. He watched the moment he grabbed your wrist, the same desperation he felt then creeping up all over again. The havoc inside him caused the beast to get set loose and he recalled almost doing something stupid as he gazed into your eyes, like kissing you. It was said thought that jolted him out of his stupor, forcefully yanking the beast's leash back and making him utter the most ridiculous statement in a desperate attempt to bring the conversation back to a professional ground (it didn't).
"You're going to jeopardize this mission in your current condition."
He had to pause the video to take a breath, the surge of shame too much to bear. There were a million other ways to address your relentlessness that would both convey the message and still sound professional, but his thick skull decided to go with the ballistic option. But then again, it was the easier route, par for the course; being as mean as possible to make sure his true intentions and feelings were kept secret. He unpaused the video, and your next words were his undoing.
"I'm DONE being your silly little plaything."
What the shock could you possibly have meant with that? Yes, he had been an asshole to you for the last few months (even if not intentional), but he wasn't toying with you. To make someone a plaything means bestowing them a lesser status; is to perceive them as a mere toy, an unfeeling object undeserving of respect. And that was the last thing Miguel connected you with; to him you were a goddess, worthy of worship and absolutely unattainable. You were his muse and his tormentor, his salvation and his undoing. Far too important to him even consider playing with. The revelation that this is how you felt broke him; destroyed him to the point that made him falter and his next words practically spilled from him.
"Because I need you."
There they were. The words that escaped his lips and which possible repercussions he dreaded. The little confession that's been keeping him from concentrating in anything else. In his desperation to remedy the notion you held, he waned and the beast broke free; it spoke in his stead and revealed more than Miguel was ready to admit. In a (terrible) way, he was lucky you passed out soon after; who knows what else would come into the light had the conversation gone any further.
Yet, even though the words he uttered didn't actually convey much, the implications behind them had the potential to roar. It shouldn't take a genius to logic their way to the truth and you were highly intelligent. And he dreaded how you'd react to it, how disgusted you'd feel upon realizing the beast fell for you. Only he was no prince under a spell, he was just that - a monster.
"Miguel? Heeey, Miguel! Are you listening?"
It took Lyla to pop up in front of his eyes, completely blocking the screen he was looking at, for Miguel to finally notice her. From her frantic gesturing alone, he could tell she had been trying to get his attention for a while.
"Ah, perdón, Lyla. I am now."
"Good grief, Miguel. You are uncharacteristically slow today," she quipped, feigning annoyance. "Did the venom from that Goblin affect your cognition?"
"I–What? No," it took a minute for Miguel to understand Lyla had insulted him "Callaté."
The AI ignored Miguel, opting to scan whatever he was working on. She assumed she'd have more luck understanding her master's plight through any other way than getting him to talk. Upon realizing the video file he was watching, she paused with an oh.
"I'm gonna throw some statements at you, and you're gonna tell me if they are true or not," she said more calmly. Before he could muster anything, she continued "You are worried about what you said during yesterday's mission.'
Miguel took a moment before responding "True."
"You don't want her to know about your feelings."
"...true."
She paused, mulling over her next statement before continuing "You think you're not reciprocated."
Miguel frowned "Fal– No, that's not even– She couldn't possibly–"
The mere thought of you reciprocating his feelings was ludicrous. Of all people, why would you fall for him - a barely human, brutish, hard-headed monstrosity. In the Society alone he could think of a good number of Spiders that you were more likely to fall for; the cheerful, laid-back types who could touch you without fear of accidentally sinking their talons into you. Lyla was delusional to even suggest that.
"Drop it, Lyla."
The AI took a minute to study Miguel, her expression unreadable. The next second, her eyes shifted, unfocused, and a glimpse of a mischievous grin spread across her face before turning to her master again.
"Aye aye, captain, consider it dropped," she said cheerfully. "On other news, you have that immersion treatment scheduled now. You better head to the Med Bay."
"Cancel it," he dismissed, the last thing he needed was to waste more time. But Lyla was having none of it.
"Not happening," she snapped her fingers and suddenly all screens from Miguel's workstation blinked off.
"Que carajo," Miguel spat, frantically trying to undo his assistant's input "Lyla! Restore the power this instant!"
"No can do, Miguel," she said, floating with her legs crossed in the air, while pretending to file her nails. "Even if it was just a little, you still got poisoned with that Goblin's venom. Doctor's orders."
Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, as he groaned. Finally, he dropped his shoulders with a huge exhale as he yielded "Fine…"
"Oh, and do me a favor while you're there, will you?" She added "I've found a strange entry in my command inputs, could you take a look at it?"
—
Miguel spent the whole walk to the Med Bay wondering how his life got to the point his AI assistant had more power over his life decisions than he did.
Once arriving, he was led to a private locker room and instructed to fully strip and enter the immersion pool area through the door on the other side of the room.
"The session should take an hour, give or take," the nurse informed him, "There's a clock in there, so don't worry about bringing any devices with you."
Once the nurse left him, he fully deactivated his suit, the digital material retracting from his head down, and wrapped a towel around his hips. Even if he was supposed to be by himself through the whole process - thus dispensing the need to protect his modesty -, it would be unlike him to not take precaution.
The very first thing that hit him when he opened the door to the pool area was the intense herbal smell that assaulted his sensitive nose. The second thing was how foggy the place was, provided by the temperature of the water. The third thing was a yelp.
"AH! What the– Wait… Miguel?"
You stood immersed in the water, at the far end of the pool. Miguel was stunned, trying to process the situation he walked into, his head working in overdrive: Why were you here? Did he go through the wrong door? No, there was only one door. How did he miss your scent? Oh, the fumes from the concoction must have overpowered it. Should you be here? Should he be here? Once his eyes fell to how your arms hugged your chest in an attempt to maintain some sort of propriety, he promptly turned on his heels as an intense heat flared up on his face.
"Shit! I'm sorry!" He spat. "I don't know what– I should– I'm gonna go."
He frantically tried opening the door back to the locker room, pressing the buttons on the door pad with more force than he should, but it was futile. As he punched the pad in frustration, Lyla popped up beside him.
"You're not leaving until you finish your treatment session," she sang.
"Lyla! Open this door this instant!" Miguel barked. Lyla just clicked her tongue.
"Just get in the water, the pool is big enough for the both of you," she replied "Besides, the mixture of medicines in the water make it very murky, you can barely make out what's under it."
"LYLA! NOW!"
"It's OK, Miguel," you said, your voice instantly starting to subdued Miguel's anger "You need this treatment too, you should get in."
Miguel brushed his hair back with his hand, his fingers running through his thick locks as he tried calming down to assess his situation. You were behind him completely vulnerable in an extreme state of undress, protected only by a thin veil of water. He shuddered at the thought, the image in his head alone sending all the blood in his body directly south. The beast inside of him wanted nothing more than to seize the opportunity to claim you here, shrouded by the vapors and the thick herbal smell. Getting in that water was risky, it would take a lot of him to keep control.
But what other option did he have? Lyla was adamant in making him go through the treatment, blocking the door control altogether. He had the power to just force his way out, tearing a hole in the metal with his talons, but he'd end up not only ruining your session but also exposing you (and the protectiveness in him was vehemently against it). He just had to endure it.
"Fine," he breathed out in defeat. He turned around, eyes down to avoid looking at you. He approached the pool's edge as he tugged on the towel around his hips "I'm gonna lose the towel, you… might want to look away."
You did not want to look away in the slightest, but you closed your eyes nonetheless out of respect. Once you heard the tell-tale splash followed by the ripples of water hitting you, you opened them again.
Neither you or Miguel spoke, the silence being broken only by the gentle humming of the water heater. The tension in the air was almost as palpable as the herbal steam flooding the room. Miguel kept himself on the opposite corner of the pool, as far from you as possible. He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest and sank as far as he could while resting the back of his head on the edge. His heart was racing, a mixture of arousal and embarrassment overwhelming his senses. He was fighting hard to relax, to be present in the moment and enjoy the break from the ever-present onslaught of responsibilities his life bestowed upon him, but your presence was proving too strong.
The beast inside of him stirred, flooding his mind with obscenities; you bent over at your hip on your belly at the edge of the pool, your ass on full display for him as he plunged his cock between your glistening folds; you sat at the edge with your feet in the water as he savored your nectar with his head between your thighs; him sitting on the shallow part of the pool with you on top of him, bouncing on his cock as he gripped your ass, watching your tits gorgeously jump from the movement. Miguel groaned, fighting to keep the beast on a tight leash as he tried to push the vulgarities away; fuck fuck fuck… What wouldn't he give for a chance to jerk these thoughts out of him, to release the tension just a bit to make this ordeal a bit more bearable. The occasional sigh and shudder you'd let out from the other side of the pool just added to his fantasies, making the effort of keeping his very much hardening cock down that much vexing. At least Lyla was right about the murkiness of the water - the pearlescent shade whatever chemicals granted the liquid made it impossible to distinguish anything immersed in it.
Wait, that's right - Lyla! She did ask him to take a look at a weird entry on her command input history, didn't she. This was perfect, some busy work should keep his mind occupied, if he was lucky it would take the whole treatment session to finish dealing with it. He promptly called Lyla and before long, he was scrolling through her command input history.
To say you were faring any better at the other side of the pool would be a lie. Ever since Miguel walked through that door you became acutely aware of how bare you were - your skin prickled as if more sensitive than before. On top of that, you were fighting for your life not to ogle at the man - the dampness of the ambient clung to him making his bronze skin glisten and tousled his hair, causing some thick locks to fall on his face. You started to question your decision to offer him to partake in the session with you the moment the words left your mouth; you supposed it derived from both the guilt you felt from him getting wounded during the mission and the opportunity your lizard brain saw of being close to a very naked Miguel. Nevertheless, the result was an awkward situation filled to the brim with tension.
Suddenly, you sensed Miguel tense up for a second, meeting his eyes the moment you looked over to see what had spooked him. The workaholic that he was, he had a screen open in front of him and seemed to have seen something that surprised him. You lifted a questioning eyebrow at him, but he didn't respond; instead he returned to the document he had opened as if double-checking something before turning the screen off. He then set his eyes to the water in front of him, but his mind was distant - you could almost hear the gears turning in his head.
The silence stretched on and minutes started feeling like hours. You racked your brain trying to find a topic of discussion, something to fill the silence and loosen the tension if only for a bit. Maybe even something silly, just to share a little amicable laugh, or some kind of teasing, to partake in a familiar friendly jabbing session. And then it hit you, the one thing you were dying to bring up to him - the little confession he let out during the mission. His (work) need of you (in the Spider Society).
"Soooo," you broke the silence in a sing-song voice "Miguel O'Hara finally caved in, huh."
Miguel snapped out of whatever was consuming his mind, clearly taken aback by the tone of your voice "¿Q- que?"
"Because I need you," you mimicked, doing a very bad impression of his voice "Took you long enough to admit it."
Miguel didn't respond right away. You watched him stir, visibly distraught, as he searched your face for something. "... you knew?"
There was a tinge of melancholy behind his question, something even vulnerable. But you kept your smirk, backing down now would just compromise your attempt at alleviating the tension. "I mean, I had a feeling."
Miguel dropped his shoulders in a strong exhale as he scrunched his eyes shut. When he opened them again, his eyebrows furrowed up slightly as he looked at you in desolation "I'm sorry."
Of all things to hear back from him, an apology was not on the list. Something was starting to feel off, but you decided to push it a little more "You should be, it was high time you recognized the work I put in here."
It was Miguel's turn to look confused "... the work?"
"Oh, don't act dumb, O'Hara," you retorted, slightly annoyed. He was not gonna dissuade you from finally getting the praise you rightfully deserved from him. "You couldn't let me quit the Society, you literally said you needed me here. I might have passed out soon after, but I did hear those words coming out of you."
"But that wasn't–," Miguel started frantically, but halted abruptly, seemingly collecting his thoughts. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves before continuing. "You are an exceptional member of the Society. Your work at the lab and in the field are crucial and I can admit without problem that I need you at the Society. We all do."
He paused again, contemplating his next words. After a brief second, he resumed his speech. "What I said back then had nothing to do with work."
You frowned in confusion for a moment, but then the other meaning to those words you had first imagined crept up in the forefront of your mind. He couldn't be talking about affection, could he? A yearning for you that matched yours for him? Your chest fluttered in an erratic cadence, but you promptly stomped the elation down. You had to make sure - to hear him say it - before allowing yourself the bliss.
"What did you mean then?" You spoke softly, carefully. Like your tone alone could corner Miguel and cause him to withdraw, putting his walls back up and leaving you with half truths and lies.
But he didn't give you the clarification you desperately craved right away. Instead he shifted, standing a bit taller while still leaning with his back to the pool's edge, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face.
"I'll let you know," he spoke, fiercely gazing into your eyes from under his brow; his voice husky and stern. "But first I need you to explain why you asked Lyla to find a Miguel O'Hara variant in your dimension."
Your heart sank as dread rapidly coursed through your veins. You desperately tried to find a suitable answer, one that could give him a good explanation while omitting the truth from him. But the harder you racked your brain, the clearer it became that there was no way out from the corner Miguel drove you into.
Dread started giving away to anger. How dare he tries to dodge your question by conditioning its answer to an answer from you, one that puts you on the spot. Leave it to control-freak Miguel O'Hara to use sleazy methods to keep himself on top.
"That doesn't concern you," you said between greeted teeth. "Now, answer my question."
Miguel was unphased. "Oh, you think someone looking for a variant of myself using my tech doesn't concern me?"
"It doesn't, that was a matter between me and Lyla about a potential third person," you spat, voice rising a bit. "My question is about clarification on a conversation WE shared. THAT concerns you."
"You can't possibly-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, O'HARA," you snapped, standing up abruptly, splashing water all around you "STOP DEFLECTING MY QUESTION AND JUST ANSWE-"
You stopped upon noticing the look on Miguel's face. He seemed shocked, eyes wide open, eyebrows knitted together and mouth agape. Then you noticed a tinge of red make an appearance underneath the bronze color of his cheeks. Finally, you watched as he rapidly looked away from you, dramatically turning his head to the side. "SHOCK! ¿PENDEJA, ESTÁS LOCA?!"
Adrenaline ebbed from your body giving room for your other senses to kick in. You shivered from the lack of heat and soon realized your rage had eclipsed you to the fact you were still very much naked and now with your torso (and tits) completely exposed above the water from your outburst. Heat quickly flooded your face as you plunged back into the water, mortified and vulnerable.
Another thick stretch of silence fell between the two of you. You hugged yourself tightly over your breasts under the water as if it somehow could alleviate the intense shame coursing through your body. Miguel tried to compose himself, the image of your tits hanging down your torso as water dripped down in rivulets over your skin carouselled in his mind on loop.
You huffed. Was trying to keep your feelings for him a secret worth it at this point? After sharing a bath with and subsequently flashing your boss, a love confession felt harmless. Might as well rip out that band-aid and live with the consequences of this bundle of awkwardness. You took a deep breath and…
"I asked Lyla to find a Miguel O'Hara variant in my dimension because I wanted to find a version of you with whom I could take out all my pent-up frustrations about you on," you spoke in almost a whisper, eyes away from Miguel. "Because I'm in love with you."
Miguel's eyes widened. He turned to you looking for any sign of mischief - a smirk, a held laugh, a smug stance -, but he found none. You kept your gaze downwards, your arms around you as you tried to withdraw within yourself.
"And… I've been for the longest time, too," you continued, still avoiding his gaze. "And I would be very grateful if we pretended this confession never happened."
"What…?" Miguel croaked, still processing your words.
"Yeah, kinda pathetic, isn't it?" You scoffed, a defeated smile adorning your face. "It was obvious this would go unrequited the moment it started blooming, but I couldn't help it."
As soon as those last words left your mouth, you felt a surge of shame rising up from your very core, begging you to stop talking. But you pushed it down, the cat was already out of the bag and there was no undoing it. Alas, it was better to exhaust everything regarding this topic now than to regret leaving things unsaid later.
"And you know what the worst part is? I've been trying to compensate for my feelings by assisting you the best I can to help lighten your load," you started talking more emphatically, adding speed and volume to your speech in order to drown out the shame. "You're carrying so much responsibility all by yourself, I wanted to make your life easier if only for a fraction."
"Wait, it… its not-" Miguel was having a hard time keeping up with the onslaught you poured on him. There were a lot of conflicting emotions clashing inside him, his mouth couldn't put into words what he was trying to convey. The sudden surge of speed in your speech was not helping him in the slightest.
"Yeah, I know. It's not working, isn't it? I figured as such, you've been really uptight about my performance lately," You spat back, not giving him a chance to talk. You were worried that you'd lose your momentum and never be able to gather it back. You needed to get everything out. "But I'll work harder! Just… Maybe it's best if I quit the Lab Assistant job, I don't want to make you uncomfortable at your own workplace and-"
"¡Por favor, deja de hablar!" Miguel's voice echoed through the chamber, halting your verbosity. "It's not unrequited…" He spoke more quietly, a gentleness in his tone. "Your feelings, that is."
Another stretch of silence took place between you. You slowly uncurled yourself, straightening up your back as you finally looked at Miguel. His stance defied the words he just uttered to the point you wondered if you might have misheard them - he was tense, shoulders slightly up with his hands at his sides in tight fists; he looked down, avoiding your face.
"Wait, you-," your voice failed you. You quickly cleared your throat before resuming. "You feel the same…?"
Miguel relaxed his shoulders a bit as he exhaled, running a hand through his damp hair. He then proceeded to meet your gaze as he rested his hands over his hips. "Yeah…"
"Oh. I… That's perfect! Miguel, I-"
"No, wait," he cut you off. "I owe you an apology and an explanation - yes, I… I realize I have been an asshole to you lately. I'm sorry about that, it's just-," Miguel paused again, collecting his thoughts. He closed his eyes for a second and, when he opened them again, there was nothing but hurt behind them. "I've been trying to distance myself from you, and I know that that's not an excuse to lash out on you, but being near you made that task so much more vexing…"
"... why would you want to distance yourself from me?"
"To protect you." He responded matter-of-factly.
You frowned slightly. "From what??"
"From me." Miguel said, emphatically pointing a finger at his own face.
"Why would I need protection from you??" You asked, lifting an eyebrow at him. "Miguel, don't get me wrong - you are very strong. But not strong enough to be a threat to me."
"I cannot allow myself to partake on more… intimate activities with you," he spat, avoiding your gaze again. "I would ruin you."
"And what if I want to be ruined?" You asked, taking a few careful steps towards him. Miguel swallowed nervously as he felt your words go straight south. He tried to compose himself before responding.
"You don't know what you're talking about," he muttered. "I am a monster and you know that. There ought to be a better suitor for you."
You took another couple of tentative steps towards him. "I decide what's best for me."
"No, you don't understand," he spat, his gaze towards the water. "You are amazing. You are.. strong, smart, have an intellect to die for and so, so kind. While I have to live in isolation, in a dim-lit Lab, taking shots to keep a semblance of humanity because my powers make me a monster and you don't deserve tha-"
He stopped upon feeling your hand reaching for his. He was so lost in his rant that he failed to notice your approach. He flinched at your proximity but didn't pull away from your touch.
You took his hand in both of yours, slowly kneading his palm with your thumbs. "Do you trust me?"
"...What do you mean?" Miguel answered, watching your hands work his. At this distance he could finally feel your scent alongside the concoction herb-y smell.
"Just in general."
"Of course I do," he responded softly. "I trust you with my life."
"Then trust me when I say I want to be with you," You said, bringing his hand over your chest, right above your heart. He inhaled sharply at the contact, realizing the softness of the tissue below was the top portion of your breast. He finally met your eyes to prevent him from dwelling on the thought. "Trust me that I will tell you if, like you fear, it becomes too much for me."
"I… " He let your words sink in. He really was deciding he was no good for you, robbing you of your own agency on the matter, wasn't he? But something tugged at him in the back of his mind, something that wasn't adding up - a fear that prevented him from just letting go.
Then it clicked.
He set the hand you held free, cupping your jaw with it. You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. Miguel's heart fluttered at the sight, but he quickly composed himself - he had a point to make.
"You have to promise me you will actually tell me if something becomes too much for you. That you won't push yourself past your limit for my sake," he started, capturing your attention again. "I watched the video of our last mission and you put yourself in harm's way to protect me and you almost died. Add that to what you just told me about putting a lot of effort in the Society for my sake, it worries me you'd favor me in detriment of your own well-being."
"I…," you started.
"That first injury you sustained, it was also a ramification of that dynamic, wasn't it?"
There was no way around that, you figured. Closing your eyes, you rested your own hand atop Miguel's hand on your face. "Yeah… "
With a resolute exhale, you locked eyes with Miguel once more. "I guess we both have things to work on."
A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Miguel's mouth. "Yeah…"
"So…," you said after a pause. "Can we kiss?"
Miguel chuckled. "There's nothing I'd like more, hermosa."
He cupped your face with both hands, craning down to face you. He opened his mouth slightly, ghosting your lips for a moment as he took in your scent before colliding into your mouth. The kiss was gentle at first, chaste even; as if Miguel was still not entirely sure it was happening and he was under some hallucinogenic side-effect from the fumes of the concoction. But then he heard you whimper into his mouth - it was a silent thing, almost a whisper -, but it was enough for his heightened hearing to pick-up.
And then somewhere inside Miguel a switch flipped.
His tongue breached your lips, hungrily tracing the inside of your mouth. You gasped at the sudden intrusion, giving Miguel the leverage he needed to slide his hands down your sides, gripping your hips and bringing your body flushed to his. Like everything in his life, Miguel needed to take control and… it didn't feel unwelcome this time. In fact, the heat emanating from his body against yours paired with the oily dampness the concoction provided and his ministrations in your mouth was making you dizzy - your heart drummed in your ears and you could feel arousal starting to build up in your core.
You instinctively brought your hands to his hair, raking your nails through his scalp. He grunted in response, the sound going straight to your clit. You instantly got addicted, suddenly you needed to hear more; to learn all the pretty sounds Miguel could make. So in between kisses you sank your teeth into his lower lip, earning the groffiest moan you ever heard. Spurred further, Miguel descended to your jaw, nibbling his way to your neck. He nuzzled into the crook of it, inhaling hard to bask in your intoxicating scent, before sinking his teeth into your pulse point.
You moaned shamelessly, the mixture of pain and pleasure only adding to the pressure in your core. His erection pressed against you, twitching at every sound that escaped your lips. Your head spinned as if you were drunk, any reservation you formerly had dissolved.
"Fuck, Miguel," you mewled near his ear and you could sense him tensing up in response; he hardened his grip on your hips and you could feel his talons starting to pierce your skin. A gasp of primal ecstasy from deep within you escaped your lips as his talons extended, sinking further into your flesh. Miguel flooded all your senses, yet you yearned for more.
But suddenly he stopped.
He grabbed your shoulders, pushing your body back and away from him. His head hung between his shoulders as he fought to catch his breath, keeping his arms extended to maintain the distance between you.
"Miguel, is everything okay?" You asked, worry lacing your words.
After a moment, he took a deep breath and turned his head up to face you. His skin still flustered from the kiss. "I'm so sorry…"
You frowned slightly. "What for?"
"I lost control, I-," he stuttered anxiously. "I hurt you. I could smell your blood."
"But-," you tried speaking, but Miguel continued.
"Shit, you aren't even fully healed yet," he scrunched up his face, spiraling on. "Fuck, this is a treatment. We're in the middle of your treatment, I-. I'm an idiot."
"Shut-up, O'Hara," you spat, trying to break him from the guilt pit he started sinking in. "I'm practically 100% already from that injury and…"
Your pause brought his attention back to you. You gathered courage to continue.
"...and I rather enjoyed getting rougher a second ago." You finished, avoiding his gaze.
Miguel relaxed a bit, enthralled by your bashful display. "But still I… I'd prefer if we didn't do anything too rough today."
"Oh c'mon, man," you scoffed, very much annoyed. "Don't treat me as an invalid."
"I'm not," he responded. "I'm just not comfortable escalating this when you still have some healing to do."
"But-,"
"Please," Miguel pleaded. The raw vulnerability behind it spoke of the guilt he still felt for your injury. It faltered your resolve.
"Alright…," you pouted. "Not easy after all that, but fine."
"Don't even get me started, hermosa," Miguel responded, letting go of your shoulders. "Although…," he said, scanning the area around the pool. "I think there's something we could do."
"Hm?"
"Sit on the edge of the pool," Miguel said curtly, the change of tone catching you off-guard.
"What?"
"You heard me, princesa," he spoke again in a more sultry voice, half-lidded scarlet eyes meeting yours. "Let me see you."
"I-," you suddenly felt very shy at his request, the small break from the heated kiss you two shared seemed to have cooled you down enough to bring back your self-awareness. Sitting on the edge of the pool meant being on full-display for Miguel, way more exposed than the seconds of accidentally flashing him from before.
Your eyes shifted back and forth from the edge to Miguel, unsure of what to do. But he was having none of it; he cupped your jaw again, his touch enough to ground you a bit, bringing your attention back to him. "I need to see you, chiquita. All of you."
"Okay," you blurted out in a resolute exhale. You turned towards the edge and paused before moving forward. "Prepare to be disappointed."
"I could never."
Miguel watched you with bated breath as you hoisted your body up the edge of the pool with your arms. Your plump ass emerged next, droplets of water running down its surface as you finally brought your legs up and onto the hard floor. If he died now, he would have died happy. You sat with your back turned to him and your legs to the side, as you held your torso up with your arms. That scene, paired with the rivulets of pearlescent water running down your body and the vapors from the pool painted an image Miguel could only describe as divine. You were his goddess and he wished for nothing more than to be your most adulant devotee.
Finally, you slowly turned around, bringing your legs back in the water as you scooted your hips to the edge of the pool. You kept your hands on your lap and your legs pressed together; subconsciously trying to hide yourself from Miguel's gaze.
But Miguel was nothing but awestruck, trying to formulate a proper reaction. He moved towards you, placing a hand on each of your knees. "Not once in my wildest fantasies I could attain the perfection that is your body."
You inhaled sharply at his earnest words, heat blooming across your face. His hold on your knees sent shivers down your spine, beginning to fan your embers back to flames. His thumbs caressed the inner side of your knees, a silent plea to let him pry them apart. His crimson eyes devoured you wholly, his gaze searing your skin.
"Let me make you feel good, mi preciosa," Miguel husked, as his eyes met yours from under his brow. His hands guided your knees apart and you followed, exposing your innermost self to him. You watched his gaze falling to your cunt and his chest heaving in response. He proceeded to hover his mouth over your inner thigh - the contrast of his hot breath against your wet skin driving you insane -, before planting a kiss on the soft surface. He kept kissing you agonizingly slow, teasingly making his way to your center; each of his ministrations eliciting a gaspy moan from within you. Finally, he pressed a kiss directly on your engorged clit, keeping his lips on it in the longest iteration of a kiss you ever witnessed, drawing out his teasing for as long as possible.
"M-Miguel, for the love of-."
You never finished your sentence. He hooked his hands under your hips, tilting your pelvis up and licked a fat stripe with the flat of his tongue up your slit and you whimpered. With his grip on your hips giving him leverage, he began eating you out like a man starved, flicking his tongue on your clit, kneading your outer lips with the pad of his thumbs and lapping up your essence like he needed it to stay alive. You instinctively gripped his hair for purchase, his relentlessness robbing you of your breath.
"Don't hold back, hermosa," he said, coming up for air. " Show me all the pretty sounds you can make."
He let go of your hips with one of his hands before plunging a finger between your folds and into your velvety insides. You moaned at the intrusion as he deliciously rotated his finger, massaging your inner walls, before settling his pad on the sensitive spongy spot directly behind your clit. You buckled involuntarily into his mouth as he curled his fingers and he chuckled against your cunt, the vibration adding to the pressure building up in your core.
Miguel dove a second finger inside you and began pumping them in and out while rotating his wrist. A cry fell from your lips at the new pace, the obscene squelching sounds of your arousal permeating the air further compressing the coil inside you. A part of you didn't want to cum yet, didn't want your first orgasm with Miguel to be with his mouth when his cock was right there.
"M-Miguel, ple- ah! Please," you managed to blurt out. "I need you inside me."
Miguel planted a kiss on your cunt before responding. "I'll use my cock if you can refrain from cumming for the next… 5 minutes."
He resumed his assault right after with a renewed vigor and you mewled. There was no way you were gonna last five minutes.
To say Miguel was faring any better was a lie. Despite his facade, his whole body screamed for release. He had his lower half pressed to the wall of the pool, lightly humping into it to get some form of relief. It was taking all of his self control not to give into your plea and plow into you then and there, to feel your warm walls around his cock instead of the cold tiles of the pool.
But you were still hurt, your wound was still healing; he couldn't risk bringing more harm upon you.
With a final barrage to your hole and a long suck on your clit your band finally snapped. Your climax hit you like a supernova, white hot and powerful; you buckled into Miguel's face until it died down and he promptly provided the guidance you needed through it. When you finally came back from your high and managed to catch your breath, you turned to Miguel.
"You bastard." You spat feigning annoyance. He chuckled as he wiped your juices from his chin.
"Didn't see you complaining when you came." He teased, licking his fingers clean.
"You know what I meant," you retorted. "Miguel, please, just-... Just pound me. I need you to fill me up so fucking bad."
Miguel's cock twitched at your words, still painfully hard underneath the water. He was fighting hard to keep his head cool and not just give in, to throw caution to the wind and just slam into you like you wanted. To make matters worse, you never moved after you came, still in its afterglow, blissfully unaware you kept your lower-half very much on display to him - your glistening hole practically welcoming him. He forced himself to look away before his resolve faltered.
"Next time, Chiquita," he said softly. "I promise."
"What about you, though?" You asked, hoisting yourself up on your elbows.
"I can take care of myself later."
You groaned in response. You hated when Miguel got like that, so focused on an emotionally charged aspect he couldn't fathom considering other takes. There was no need to forgo all sexual activity if he was worried about your healing, especially after eating you out (so fucking well). With a huff, you got back in the water - if there was something you learned working in his Lab all this time is that Miguel needed help seeing other points of views sometimes.
You gently pressed your torso to Miguel's back, tenderly enveloping your arms around his middle in a hug. He flinched under your touch at first, but relaxed soon after. You proceeded to run your fingers on his abs, slowly massaging the taut muscle.
"I could take care of you, you know," you whispered.
Miguel felt his heart race at your words. He was already getting lost with the way your body pressed against his, the heat emanating from you paired with your scent causing him to walk the edge between lunacy and prudence. Looking down, he could see your delicate hands working his muscles - every little press of your fingers sent electric bolts downwards, where he yearned for your touch the most. Would it be so bad to indulge…?
"Y-your wound…"
"I'm sure using my hands wouldn't compromise my healing," you responded, trying to sound alluring. You tentatively slid your fingers down his lower belly, stopping just below his hips and Miguel hissed. You drew circles on the region slowly, feeling him shudder against you. "Let me make you feel good, Miggy."
"I-," Miguel tried speaking, but the little brain power he still had was having a hard time fighting against the sensation of your dainty fingers so close to his cock. The fact the whole massage was now happening hidden from his eyes under the water only made each touch feel searing hot.
He desperately needed release.
"... Yeah," he husked. "Just… don't overdo yourself."
You grinned behind him before finally sliding a hand to his cock, enveloping your fingers around his shaft. He hissed at the touch, getting so wound up had made him a lot more sensitive. You glided your hand along his cock, feeling his veins against the pads of your fingers before reaching his tip. You pulled back his hood, circling your thumb around the gland before gently rubbing the slit; Miguel hitched a breath.
"Does it feel good?" You asked, feigning innocence. Having control over him, knowing he could turn the tides easily if he so wished, felt oddly good.
"Y-yeah," he managed to huff out.
Pleased with his response, you started languidly pumping his cock and Miguel let out a strangled moan. You slid your body to his side to gain more range of motion while gently bringing your other hand to his ass.
The pace of your hand was slowly depleting Miguel of his remaining sanity. With his heightened sensitivity, the movement alone was both a lot and not enough. Your other hand kneaded his ass gently, occasionally prodding the rim of his hole, putting him in a position of vulnerability unfamiliar to him, yet not unwelcome. It felt good to relinquish control, especially with you at the helm.
But he needed more.
"Please…," he whispered. You lifted an eyebrow at his tone.
"Please what, handsome?" You teased.
"I… I need more."
"You need to speak more clearly, big guy."
"Mierda," he cussed. "I need you to stroke me faster."
"Atta, boy".
You increase your pace, gently rotating your wrist as you pumped him. Miguel groaned, throwing his head back. He instinctively brought an arm over your shoulders for purchase, holding you against his body. He could feel the pressure in his abdomen growing, his release getting dangerously close.
"Y-yo voy a, yo voy a…, (I-I'm gonna, I'm gonna…)" he groaned, his peak hastily approaching.
And then you stopped. And he hissed.
"N-no no no, please…," he cried out, desperately trying to rut in your hand. But it was no use.
You had the audacity to chuckle.
You cupped his jaw, bringing his attention down to you. You guided his head down, hungrily taking his lips with your own. He moaned in your mouth, frustration and arousal blending together, flooding all of his senses.
You both parted for air, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his. He looked at you with half-lidded drunken eyes, a gentle giant tamed by lust.
"C'mon, big guy. Let's get you sat at the edge," you whispered in his ear. "I want to taste you."
There wasn't a fiber in Miguel's body capable of denying you at this point.
With his back to the wall of the pool, Miguel hoisted his torso up by his arms, plopping himself down at pool's edge with his lower legs in the water. His heavy cock throbbed, thick and dark red, covered in droplets of a mixture of precum and the oily pearlescent concoction; a sight that had you salivating.
Miguel watched you approach him, slotting yourself between his thighs. You gently pulled his hood back, revealing the gland to the thick air of the chamber, before pressing your tongue flat to the underside of it and locking eyes with him.
"Fuck," was all he could muster. There was no way he would last much longer inside your warm mouth after getting edged. In fact, he was afraid a couple more kitten licks would be enough to finish him off. But he wanted to endure a little more, to enjoy you for as long as he could.
You rotated your tongue around his head a few times, catching as much precum as you could, before enveloping him with your mouth. Miguel hissed, instinctively bringing a hand to your hair for purchase. You bobbed your head slowly, swirling your tongue around his shaft in the process.
"Nena, I won't last," he warned you.
You hummed around his cock in response, bringing your hand up to him with your pointer finger pressed against your thumb, asking him for 'just a little longer'.
Miguel groaned. He would try. For you, he would try.
You started to slowly increase your pace, taking him deeper with each movement. Miguel could feel the pressure in his abdomen building up again faster. He tensed his muscles and gripped the edge of the pool with his other hand in an attempt to sooth it, to prolong the pleasure you provided for as long as possible.
But you weren't planning to play fair. You enveloped the remainder of his shaft you couldn't mouth with one hand, stroking him alongside the movement of your head, and used your other hand to reach his neglected balls, fondling them in tandem to your ministrations. It was all too much, Miguel threw his head back and could only tighten his hold on your hair in warning before spilling into your mouth hard, completely emptying his seed in you in a fervent release.
You soothed him through it, until his first wince of over-stimulation. You then gently pulled yourself back, letting go of his softening cock, before lifting your chin up to him and making a show of swallowing his spent and opening your mouth to present your clean tongue to him. Miguel shuddered.
"No me hagas esto," he said, still catching his breath. "You'll be the death of me."
"A good way to go, I hope?" You jested.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Miguel chuckled.
You two sat in comfortable silence, basking in the afterglow. You rested your head on his thigh, drawing lazy circles on his other's quads while Miguel gently rubbed your scalp, admiring the peace in your countenance.
"We should probably leave soon, I'm getting all pruny," you broke the silence.
"I do so love raisins," Miguel joked. You huffed in return.
"Shut-up, O'Hara," you spat back, feigning annoyance. You paused before continuing. "I'm gonna hold you accountable, you know."
"Hm?"
"To that promise," you clarified. "About pounding me next time."
Miguel chuckled before responding.
"It's a deal."
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara fanfic#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara smut#miguel smut#miguel o hara#astv miguel#miguel atsv#miguel 2099#miguel#miguel o'hara fanfiction#miguel o'hara x y/n#miguel ohara fanfiction#miguel ohara smut#miguel ohara x reader#miguel ohara x you#miguel o'hara imagine#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o’hara fic#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel spiderman#miguel spiderverse#miguel x you#miguel x reader#spiderman 2099#mischie writing
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Do you remember how I said I won't be watching s3? Yes, I'm a lying liar through and through lol my sister said let's watch it and I love watching movies or TV shows with her, and tbh we had a good laugh😭💀
Okay so here are my thoughts:
First of all: KATE AND ANTHONY. Omg they're everything to me!! They were only in one episode but they made that episode theirs. I just love seeing them blissfully happy and living in their own bubble. I'm both sad and glad they were only in one episode. Because I wouldn't put it past the writers to give them some unnecessary drama and conflict. At the same time their screen time was so little... I suppose we can't have it all :')
Francesca. Omg I love her so much. I already loved her from the books but the show? God, she's so cute and beautiful. Hannah played her to perfection and I'm glad she's the new Francesca. Even when you read the books, that's how you imagine Fran's character. Both she and Kate have a special place in my heart.
John... my god John is here. And I'm already too attached to him. I can't- Listen, I know my heart will break when his time comes. The actor was such a good choice for his character and I was on the verge of crying whenever he appeared with Fran. She was always so happy to see him. I never thought two characters/actors could have this much chemistry while sitting in silence. GOD I LOVE THEM and I'm ready for heartbreak :D We still have no Michael but I'll keep hoping for him to appear because my god... Francesca's book is filled with angst I just hope when it's her turn, they do it justice<3
I actually enjoyed Eloise and Cressida. I never thought I'd say this but I did!! I know they made 180 changes about her character in the new season but I don't really care lol I just hope she works it out with Debling so at least she'll be free from her parents.
People keep saying they don't like Eloise this season but she's so much better than me. I would've been so much worse... The first thing I would've done was give Pen's name to the queen but she kept it this whole time and was actually worried about Pen... she was kind enough to a person who ruined her and her family, not once but twice.
There are too many side plots in this season. Like I don't want to be pathetic but we've been saying that since s2 and y'all called us delusional and said to be grateful because it was more than enough. But now that I see even Polin fans have a problem with this season makes me so happy and sad at the same time. Because when this happened to your favs, it's a real issue...
I love LD and QC friendship so much!! And QC & Brimsly. These friendships were more shaped since QC spin-off and I really enjoyed it.
It's obvious to me that they don't know what to do with Ben's plot lol. Because creating these unnecessary original characters is doing a disadvantage to the whole show. I really hope we see Sophie this season.
Okay I've avoided the inevitable as much as I could lol so let's talk about the main couple:
They have no chemistry. I know some might not agree with me but there's no chemistry for me. It has always been like this since s1. At least I don't feel anything special between them. Nicola is a wonderful actor and is carrying the whole ship on her shoulders and I said what I said.
Luke wasn't good at portraying Colin at all. He has no charisma and is trying too hard. I'm not talking about his character wanting to be something he's not but talking about the acting in general, so don't come for me with that argument. They really tried to make him like Anthony but failed miserably. Which is sad because even tho I haven't read their book, he in other books was absolutely my favorite side character. Me and my sister were laughing our asses off at some of his actings like sir... pls don't😭 I'm being super mean omg
The pacing of their relationship was weird. When he proposed to her I was so shocked like in episode 4? Already? Then I remembered in s1 we had the same situation but in s1 it felt right. It wasn't weird or felt too soon or too late, it was right. With Polin, everything felt out of order. I think they didn't want to focus much on building it up because they felt they already did in the past 2 seasons but it just felt off in the end. They weren't even together much on screen to feel like it's building up!! There was no arc or if it was, it was too subtle that if you blink you'll miss it.
The other problem with their plot was the similarity between s1 and s3. Simon was trying to help Daphne to find a husband and Colin is doing the same thing. Except s1 main trope was Fake Dating and s3 was Friends to Lover.
Which brings me to another reason why I didn't like s3. Friends to Lovers trope. Honestly, this is a me problem. I've never liked this trope at all. I really tried to change my mind about it, like reading books with this trope but most of the time I'm left unsatisfied or hating the book. Unfortunately, s3 was no different. This trope always comes off as unpassionate for me. Which I think it's the trope. Because it's supposed to be cute and subtle and I'm not sure it's really my thing. So I guess the major reason for my dislike of this season is the trope.
There were 2 fkn scenes of Colin participating in a threesome... That was so fkn bad like I can't believe this just happened. And one of them was after he kissed Penelope... I don't care that he didn't continue but... OUGH it gave the ick so bad, I didn't even watch it, just fast-forwarded it.
That carriage scene was okay-ish? It didn't leave me breathless like the Kanthony scenes did. Tbh s2 left me in a shamble with how much emotions I felt with those two. But with s3, I had the exact opposite feeling toward the main couple.
Anyway, I think this season, revealing LW's identity was their priority which is why they weren't so focused on the romance (?) idk but I feel like part 2 won't be any different than part 1 and they're gonna throw some sex scenes to make it up for the romance lol
ps: I know I said s4 will be Benedict's and I still think it will be but if they decide to make it Francesca's? Oh, I wouldn't mind at all!!
#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton s3#bridgerton season 3#kanthony#kathony#francesca bridgerton#john sterling#eloise bridgerton#eloise x cressida#benedict bridgerton#simone ashley#jonathan bailey#hannah dodd
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i was supposed to be working as a server, flirting with middle-aged women who come in with their friends for half-priced margaritas night and encouraging them to "be bad" and get the double chocolate cake with ice cream for dessert
slowly gaining their trust by being witty and caring when they complain abt work/husbands/kids - until one of them admits their marriage is failing and i help them see that it's for the better
when the inevitable divorce finally happens, i'll be there for her. we both know it's nothing serious - i'm just helping her satisfy that itch her husband could never scratch
#this is not going to be popular with the following i've procured#but that's ok i speak from the heart#my posts#nsft#queer nsft#don't really have tags for this bc idk what this is#probably a very Straight Guy fantasy but oh well what can you do#maybe there are some lesbians who will like it
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